#and esp the recent ones like life in the dream house and the movies on netflix with brooklyn and LA barbies they’re SO cute

[darlinghowl]

unironically love barbie media. if you even care

[sparsilemuses]

current test muses for @sparsilelove as of mid-may!

face claims featured: archie renaux, ben barnes, brenton thwaites, charlie hunnam, darren barnet, frank grillo, joshua bassett, marisa tomei, mason gooding, riz ahmed, rudy pankow, sarah michelle gellar, tom hardy.

//

these are organised roughly by how much i'm itching to play them!! most muses have at minimum a slice of life and a genre (supernatural, sci-fi, horror, etc) verse. the first verse listed is their main / default and any others are alternates / by request.

i am open to all kinds of plots, though as ever my preference is romantic connections! currently only looking to ship with men because i'm too gay to function. the ideas listed are just some starting points.

kamran mustafa (riz ahmed) is a softhearted, hardheaded man of the people ⇾ slice of life: formerly homeless, now running an unofficial halfway house in the poorest part of a city, he's all about grassroots action and giving everything he's got to those in need ⇾ dystopian future: an important figure in the rebellion against the elitist powers that be, often throwing himself directly into harm's way for the good of others & ideas: friends to lovers with another grungy weirdo, opposites attract with some corporate dbag

orion kemper (joshua bassett) is a cocky genius with too much money and zero self-restraint ⇾ slice of life: after graduating high school at 14 & college at 18, ri sold an app for a stupid amount of money and has spent the last 4 years dicking around ⇾ supernatural: born werewolf with a permanent sneer at bitten wolves, set to inherit alpha status of his family pack one day (if he doesn't get himself killed first) & ideas: friends to inappropriately cuddle, older men for him to top, someone unimpressed with him

lysander crawshaw (archie renaux) is jaded, paranoid proof that curiosity killed the cat ⇾ supernatural: still recovering from being possessed by belias, a greater demon, lys struggles with the lines between reality, dream and hallucination ⇾ slice of life: raised in a cult, lys brings with him a truckload of trauma, a sprinkling of self-hatred, and a dollop of dang adorable & ideas: someone who is his anchor to reality, someone with a similar experience, someone he can start over with

tiberius cooper (rudy pankow) is brash and loud, but in a cornered animal kind of a way ⇾ horror i: the "final girl" of a group of friends (including his twin brother) who were targeted by a serial killer while on vacation, tib sleeps sitting up holding a knife ⇾ horror ii: after his identical twin brother livestreamed a string of violent crimes (think 'spree'), tib has all but become a recluse for his own safety ⇾ slice of life: having never really recovered from the sudden death of his twin brother, tib covers up his debilitating anxiety by being the most obnoxious guy in the room & ideas: someone who knew him before everything (esp. exes of his twin), someone from a support group, some morbid weirdo who is drawn to the darkness in him now

elliot hawthorne (charlie hunnam) is a soft, sweet nerd who loves to take care of people ⇾ slice of life: a film professor who was recently dumped after five years with his ex, ell's students have been complaining lately that they'd like to watch something other than dardenne brothers movies, thanks & ideas: student or former student, friend who always thought he could do better than his ex, co-worker

beatrix calhoun (marisa tomei) is a trainwreck in motion, barely keeping up appearances ⇾ celebrity: a well-known musician who has been active since her early twenties, beatrix is still in love with songwriting and touring, leaving no room for anything else ⇾ slice of life: an artist who manages to charm the pants (often literally) off various wealthy / connected people to keep her afloat & ideas: fan, young musician who looks up to her, touring band member, ex who is also in the industry, producer, step-son, kid's friend

dandelion corrigan (tom hardy) is a cynical witch who believes his family is cursed ⇾ supernatural: an actual witch, with an actual curse, piecing together an existence in the woods making herbal remedies and mild infatuation potions for the locals ⇾ slice of life: an oddball from a pagan-ish family who makes his living selling things from his little farm & making ointmints, certain he'll never be happy & ideas: let's break this curse yo

ava blake (sarah michelle gellar) is an enigma at best and a nuisance at worst ⇾ espionage: a well-trained assassin / spy, ava has discovered a nefarious plot within her organisation that is no good very bad ⇾ slice of life: a single mom very much inspired by lorelai gilmore, ava runs a cafe / bakery / bookstore called the nook and has no time for your nonsense & ideas: rival spy / double agent, normal guy caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, another single parent

athanasios wilde (ben barnes) is very, very bored, to the point of insanity ⇾ supernatural: an immortal shapeshifter, ath's lived hundreds of lives in hundreds of bodies ⇾ crime: a significant general in his father's crime family, ath is a particularly unsettling kind of ruthless & ideas: another cursed immortal or someone seeking to become immortal, unsuspecting normie drawn into his bullshit

peregrine talbot (brenton thwaites) is extremely polite, but probably making fun of you ⇾ supernatural: a fae prince, beholden to the 'seelies can't lie' rule, perry is fascinated by mortals, occasionally living among them ⇾ slice of life: trust fund kid with a scholar's mind, perry is actually nice, as long as you don't interrupt him & ideas: mortal who falls into the fae realm, supernatural creature who needs his help, classmate from college, friend from the wrong side of the tracks

taliesin rafferty (darren barnet) is me proving trans guys can be fuckboy dbags too ⇾ slice of life: tal vibes are scrolling grindr while he's on a date with you, sneaking out while you're in the shower, pretending to forget your name so you don't get attached & ideas: best friends with feelings, the guy who sees through his bullshit, the guy he chases long enough to fall for

phoenix dawson (mason gooding) is a genuine, no shit, actual nice guy with no trauma ⇾ slice of life: a dance teacher with a heart of gold, nix believes in random acts of kindness, smiling at strangers, and telling the people you love how much you love them loudly and often & ideas: long term boyfriend / husband for domestic cuteness, trainwreck best friend he's always there to pick up when he falls, guy who bullied him in high school

edoardo "eddie" mancini (frank grillo) is the typical salt of the earth every man, doing his best to get by ⇾ slice of life: after the tragic death of his wife, eddie is finally forced to confront the secret he's always kept about his sexuality and hopefully figure out some kind of happiness (while his kids [24 - 38] mock him for being uncool) ⇾ any other genre: bewildered mechanic stumbles into supernatural shit / ends up in the apocalypse / some other shit, chaos ensues & ideas: someone from his past he once hooked up with, a friend of one of his kids, please lord let him get picked up at like a farmer's market or some shit, customer who leaves his number, barista who writes flirty messages on his cup, etc

[waywardsalt]

Hi! I hope you’re doing good in life! So it’s spooky season so I have an ask related to that. I don’t know if you play horror video games, watch horror movies/shows, or read horror books, but if you do, I have to ask: What is the most disturbing book, or video game or show/movie that you’ve played/watched/read? In my opinion, there is two types of horror: the ones that scare you, and the ones that traumatize you. If you can think of any book, movie, or game that really kind of fucked you up, I’m curious to know if you feel like answering. I hope you have a good day and a good life.

Hey, I’m doing good and I hope you are too!

the answer ended up being really long lol

Woof, this is honestly a pretty hard question, since I can't really name any horror (or otherwise) media that actually left me kind of fucked up for a bit, at least not to the degree where it affected me for a while. I probably haven't been really fucked up by anything since I was a kid, so I'll try and recall what a few things fucked me up back then...

Off the top of my head I know that two different spongebob episodes got me bad, the first being one with that tunnel of love thing (tho tbh i havent seen it in a while so it might still spook me today) and the one where i'm pretty sure for whatever reason squidward gets locked in some small locker and has some kind of fucked up dream, whatever that was. I remember there was an eagle in that one. the eagle terrified me. (i looked them up, and the first episode is titled 'tunnel of glove' and the second is 'squidward in clarinetland'. with how badly that second one got to me, i'm surprised i ended up learning to play the clarinet at all)

other than that, i think the courage the cowardly dog episode 'the house of discontent' got me pretty bad, too, but i think everyone who saw any amount of that series as a kid has at least one episode that got them fucked up.

there's probably a handful of scooby-doo stuff that got to me when i was a kid, but i could not name any specifics (asides from charlie the robot's original episode, christ) because i think i managed to see just about every bit of available scooby media around that time.

nowadays stuff still does kinda fuck me up, but it's usually only for brief bits of time. the most recent example I can think of is cowboy bebop's 20's episode, pierrot le fou, which is honestly some great horror, especially how it uses the show's typical format and flips it on it's head, but i wouldn't necessarily say it got to me because of it being scary, more because of the way the ending disturbed me for a bit. it was the only episode that had me stop afterwards and really look into it for anything other than clarifying a character's gender, lol.

the endings of both neon genesis evangelion and end of evangelion had me shaken, the latter more so than the former, but not really due to horror aspects, though. i did have to take a walk after finishing end of evangelion. i don't really watch horror movies, i just... read the wikipedia plot descriptions of them.

honestly, i think some of the more popular youtube analogue horror series have gotten to me worse (likely due to the fact that they can get a bit more fucked up than, say, a tv show or movie), specifically the walten files (which i did watch) and the mandela catalogue (which i just watched wendigoon's vids on), and those two and mostly because facial distortion is generally just an incredibly effective form of horror imo. a lot of the time (esp with the childhood examples) the way i was 'fucked up' was that id be in be visualizing the stuff that scared me, and both the mandela catalogue and the walten files had me doing that for a bit.

now that i remember it, i was really scared of fnaf when it first came out. i first learned of it second-hand from seeing some other kids looking into it, and the bits and pieces i put together about it really scared me.

honestly, it's usually straight-up disturbing sequences or imagery that gets to me the most, and i know my limits well enough to generally identify and avoid that stuff, which is probably why i don't have too many recent examples. i've got one or two examples of non-horror movies that fucked me up as a kid, but that's mostly because they were wildly inappropriate for someone of my age (at the time) to be witnessing, so that's a different sort of topic.

i mean, i think i generally have a decent tolerance for fucked up stuff in media, anyways, i mean, i enjoy berserk and haven't really been too upset or disturbed by what happens in it (look theres some nasty shit in there im not saying its not that bad) so there's definitionally some kind of line that media needs to cross to really get to me nowadays, or it just needs to be a specific kind of fucked up. books generally don't do that for me so i don't have any book examples. no games, either, though shadow mario and the haunted house segments in super mario 3d world scared me so much that i had to make my mom do the levels for me, and i'm pretty sure scooby doo: first frights scared me a bit when i first played it on ds.

other than that, though, I just think that, in pokemon x, the story that an npc tells you during your first trip to route 14 and then the strange office building encounter with the animation-less hex maniac creeped me out pretty bad.

yeah, it's kind of hard for me to think of anything (recent) that actually really fucked me up or anything. most stuff just scared me, never really fucked me up or figuratively traumatized me in recent years.

[judesstfrancis]

so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌

the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? 

truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? 

relaxing evenings!

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? 

actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? 

boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? 

this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? 

really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? 

u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? 

I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”

[cardinalpinion]

GET TO KNOW THE BLOGGER.

For rp & non-rp blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen !

1. FIRST NAME  ⇢  Tricky (sorry folks it’s not real name hours today)

2. STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF ⇢  ???uuuh i broke literally all my toes over the course of a few years

3. TOP 3 PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON  ⇢  piercings, natural eyebrows, smile (im soRRY BUT THIS TREND OF THICCC DRAWN EYEBROW MAKEUP IS????)

4. A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF  ⇢  sushi rice/short-grain rice and/or teriyaki belly pork

5. A FOOD YOU HATE  ⇢   horseradish? First thing i thought off jdbcksd

6. GUILTY PLEASURE  ⇢  idk if you’d call it a guilty pleasure but i still like to go back and watch old kids shows like pokemon, Digimon, yu gi oh and even some more recent ones like gravity falls. cartoons are good sometimes mainstream media are just cowards

7. WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN  ⇢ PJs! I have lots of cute pairs of jammies like butterflies, polkadots, etc

8. SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS  ⇢  Serious for me, I’m just not a fling person

9. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE  ⇢  I can’t really think of anything? 

10. ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON  ⇢  .Absolutely let me cuddle you. I love all kinds of affection but esp physical gIME HUGS COWARDS

11. A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN  ⇢  Nightmare before Christmas, your name, howls moving castle 

12. FAVORITE BOOK  ⇢ heck it’s been a while, i can't remember the name

13. YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE  ⇢  All of them 

jk but my goals right now are a betta fish and a western hognose snake

14. TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS  ⇢  all. like literally i could not narrow it down for you

15. PIE OR CAKE  ⇢  depends on what you’re offering me. apple pie v victoria sponge? pie. Cherry pie v red velvet cake? cake

16. FAVORITE SCENTS  ⇢  Honey, lavender, bonfires, fireworks, vanilla

17. CELEBRITY CRUSHES  ⇢ mmmm?? none really like i can appreciate some people are hot but no crushes tbh

18. IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO  ⇢ Japan! Or Alaska to see the northern lights, or America to meet my online friends

19. INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT  ⇢ Hella introvert

20. DO YOU SCARE EASILY  ⇢  Yes and no, i love horror and the weirdest things stick with me i can never anticipate what's going to actually scare me to the point it lingers

21. IPHONE OR ANDROID  ⇢  Android

22. DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES  ⇢  Oh ya lots. FFXIV, League of Legends mainly rn but I’m also playing through Digimon cyber sleuth, tales of vesperia, etc and i have games like stardew valley, pokemon, all the good stuff

23. DREAM JOB  ⇢ Cinemaphotrapher or photojournalist 

24. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS  ⇢  idk man bigger house? Nice big garden for my doggo, room for extra pets, a game room, a POND!!!

25. FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE  ⇢  i dont really hate anyone? dislike yea but not outright hate

26. FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER  ⇢  wym you never truly leave a fandom it always holds onto a piece of you

But for real i think if you bought up anything i used to like id still be hella enthusiastic over it

Tagged By:  @spitecremated

Tagging: im too tired just steal it love ya

[televinita]

Books Read in 2019: The Why

In a tradition I accidentally started for myself and now quite enjoy, at the end of the year I look back at my reading list and answer the question, why did you read this particular book? 

Below, the books are split into groups by target readership age, plus nonfiction at the end. This year I have added the category “how I heard of it” as well, because I just think that info is neat.

FICTION

The Visitor - K.L. Slater. 2018. Read because: Ten episodes of The Good Cop weren't enough, so I tried to find something w/ similar characters, and this looked kinda like "TJ as a slightly more withdrawn weirdo." By the time I realized it wouldn't work due to being British, I was too excited by the prospect of a thriller to stop.

How I heard of it: Googling keywords

Like the Red Panda - Andrea Seigel. 2004. The back cover and first few pages reminded me of a friend I had once.

How I heard of it: Library

The Lost Vintage - Ann Mah. 2018. What's that? You've got some secret family history/a mystery from the past to be solved using old personal papers, including a diary? My jams.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls (4th ed.) - Emilie Autumn. 2017. I googled for books that promised unique formatting/art design, and Emilie Autumn has always been an intriguing enigma to me.

I Heard the Owl Call My Name - Margaret Craven. 1967. I know this title, but not why -- when I tripped over it in the teen* section and saw how tiny it was, I decided to find out what it was about. (*it's there because it's often taught in schools. It's here because its intended audience is adult.)

Escape - Barbara Delinsky. 2011. Went looking for an audiobook -- the cover with a woman standing on a small bridge amidst the woods drew me in (I can't find that cover on the internet though), and the idea of abandoning responsibility and driving off to a small town sounded like my dream.

How I heard of it: Library

Saul and Patsy - Charles Baxter. 2003. Another search result from my attempt to cast Josh Groban in a novel -- Midwestern-set and a man very much in love with his wife, no worries about the relationship being wrecked? Sweet! (though ultimately, I had to mentally recast)

How I heard of it: Googling

California - Edan Lepucki. 2014. Needed an audiobook. The title and green forest cover caught my eye, and the off-the-grid life + promise of a mysterious and possibly suspicious settler community described in the plot appealed to me.

How I heard of it: Library

The Lost Queen of Crocker County - Elizabeth Leiknes. 2018. Woman moves back home to rural Iowa in a book described as a "love letter to the Midwest"? Look at all these good choices.

How I heard of it: Library

All The Things You Are - Declan Hughs. 2014. Was looking for a different book w/ this title, but saw Spooky Dark House cover + wild summary and wanted to know how that could possibly happen / what the explanation was.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

Tumbledown Manor - Helen Brown. 2016. Cover love. A book about restoring a historic family manor?? BRING ME THERE.

How I heard of it: Library

The War Bride's Scrapbook - Caroline Preston. 2017. IT'S LITERALLY A SCRAPBOOK. I loved her other one like this.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day - Winifred Watson. 1938. Rewatched the movie and needed to relive an alternate take immediately (especially for more Michael).

How I heard of it: special features on the DVD

April & Oliver - Tess Callahan. 2009. This just screamed "(slightly less storybook) Ned/Chuck AU!!" [Pushing Daisies] at me. There was semi-platonic comfort-spooning in the second chapter, COME ON.

How I heard of it: Half Price Books

A Short Walk to the Bookshop - Aleksandra Drake. 2019. This looked like an even more solid Ned/Chuck AU, missing only the childhood connection/age similarity, with bonus fave keywords anxiety, widower, bookshop and dog.

How I heard of it: Googling

Girl Last Seen - Nina Laurin. 2017. Recently watched "Captive" and wanted a story of the aftermath from the captive's perspective.

How I heard of it: Goodreads (specifically, I looked up an older book by this title intending to check out related recs, but this came up first)

The Road to Enchantment - Kaya McLaren. 2017. Gorgeous cover/title + "single [pregnant] woman inherits late mother's ranch" = an alternate life I want to try on.

How I heard of it: Library

From Sand and Ash - Amy Harmon. 2016. Love between childhood best friends who can’t (well, aren’t supposed to) touch? Sounds like a Ned/Chuck AU to me!

How I heard of it: a book blog post

My Oxford Year - Julia Whelan. 2018. Always here for age-appropriate student/teacher romances -- I had this one saved for a while -- but read now specifically to cast David Tennant.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Reckoning at Gossamer Pond - Jaime Jo Wright. 2018. There's a mystery from the past being solved in the present. Also, "inherited hoarder's trailer" made me v. curious about what was inside.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

My Husband the Stranger - Rebecca Done. 2017. It's Find Books That Remind Me Of David Tennant's Roles Month, and this was my crack at "Recovery."

How I heard of it: Googling

The House on Foster Hill - Jaime Jo Wright. 2017. Fixing up a spooky abandoned historic house + solving a mystery from the past in the present!

How I heard of it: a book blog post

Broadchurch - Erin Kelly. 2014. Fell in love with the show, had to immediately relive it in text form.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Vanishing - Wendy Webb. 2014. Spooky historic mansion from a reliable author for the spookening season.

How I heard of it: looking up the author’s back catalog

The Scholar - Dervla McTiernan. 2019. The Ruin - Dervla McTiernan. 2018. "Hmmm looks kind of like (Irish) Broadchurch but where the detective character has a girlfriend to fuss over and worry about. Nice." Read out of order because the second one had more girlfriend content, and enjoyed it enough to go back for book 1.

How I heard of it: Googling

The Day She Died - Catriona McPherson. 2014. The cover looked perfect for the Spook Season/gloomy weather. Sign me up for insta-families and murder mysteries w/ MCs in possible danger any day.

How I heard of it: library (literally because it was right next to McTiernan)

Still Missing - Chevy Stevens. 2010. Collecting base material for when I play this scenario (abduction/prolonged captivity and its aftermath) out w/ TV characters I like.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

This Is How You Lose The Time War - Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone. 2019. It sounded EXACTLY like a (genderbent) Doctor/Master or Crowley/Aziraphale relationship.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

The Tale of Halcyon Crane - Wendy Webb. 2010. Wanted an audiobook and I like this author (esp. for spook season).

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

The Child Garden - Catriona McPherson. 2015. I liked her previous book and this setting looked even spookier and more atmospheric.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Quiet Neighbors - Catriona McPherson. 2016. One last dip into this author...because what part of "woman gets a job organizing the books in 'the oldest bookshop in a town full of bookshops' + an old cottage to stay in" does not sound like my dream life?

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Doctor Who: The Nightmare of Black Island - Mike Tucker. 2006. After 2.5 months in a Ten/Rose spiral, the time was nigh to pluck one of their novels I didn’t get around to reading back in my original fandom heyday.

How I heard of it: can't remember

Misery - Stephen King. 1987. I just woke up one day and decided I was in the mood to try this infamous mother of all literary whumps.

How I heard of it: can’t remember

The Whisper Man - Alex North. 2019. Went looking for books that would remind me of the father/son dynamic in "The Escape Artist."

How I heard of it: Googling

Open Your Eyes - Paula Daly. 2018. Second crack at a "Recovery"-shaped novel (it failed instantly because I didn’t take the possibility of diversity into account, but suspense is still a good genre regardless).

How I heard of it: Googling

The Last - Hanna Jameson. 2019. "Dystopian psychological thriller" + the gorgeous hotel on the cover.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

------------------

YOUNG ADULT

Blood Wounds - Susan Beth Pfeffer. 2011. Established quality author + (what I thought was a) thriller premise.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Beware That Girl - Teresa Totten. 2016. I wanted an audiobook, and contemporary YA options are limited at the library. The mystery/thriller aspect sounded good enough to spend 8+ hours with.

How I heard of it: library

Trafficked - Kim Purcell. 2012. I am mystified/intrigued by domestic/non-sexual slavery, and have not seen the topic covered in YA.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Wild Bird - Wendelin Van Draanen. 2017. I have long been fascinated by teen reform camps for girls in the wilderness.

How I heard of it: library

The Year of Luminous Love - Lurlene McDaniel. 2013. The Year of Chasing Dreams - Lurlene McDaniel. 2014.

The library didn't have Girl With the Broken Heart, but it did have a fat duology featuring similar elements of horses + tragic illness, and a trio of friends that called to mind Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

The Pull of Gravity - Gae Polisner. 2011. I was looking for quality male friendships, but the male/female friendship + road trip in this search result sounded like I could cast them as teen versions of Survivor contestants. I forget which ones.

How I heard of it: Googling

The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles) - Amy Spalding. 2018. Established quality author + bright cover, cool title, burger quest, MC's love of fashion and job in a clothing store, and summer in L.A. setting

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Tiger Eyes - Judy Blume. 1981. Found out Amy Jo Johnson was the mom in the movie version, decided to read the book as prep since once again, I knew the title, but not why I knew it.

Darius the Great Is Not Okay - Adib Khorram. 2018. I turned the internet upside down in search of books with quality male friendships, and was pointed here.

How I heard of it: Googling

Big Doc's Girl - Mary Medearis. 1941. Went looking for vintage stories of simple country girls who reminded me of Katharine McPhee's character in The House Bunny. (spoiler alert: this was not it even a little bit, why did I think it was)

How I heard of it: Googling

With Malice - Eileen Cook. 2016. Always here for random teen thrillers, including a fictionalized version of Amanda Knox.

How I heard of it: library

The Girls of No Return - Erin Saldin. 2012. Like I said, I'm big on girls reform camps in the wilderness.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Hope Was Here - Joan Bauer. 2000. Needed an audiobook. This one was short and by a proven quality author.

How I heard of it: library

Rules of the Road - Joan Bauer. 1998. Best Foot Forward - Joan Bauer. 2006. Bought the first super-cheap a while ago because of the cover/road trip aspect/fascinating first few pages; read NOW to keep the Bauer train rolling, followed immediately by its sequel.

How I heard of it: Goodwill/Goodreads

Now Is Everything - Amy Giles. 2017. Interesting format, sympathetic-sounding main character (edit: What Makes You Beautiful - Ha Ha Ha version.mp3), potential for a sweet and protective romance.

How I heard of it: library

Radical - E.M. Kokie. 2016. Survivalist/prepper teen?  Intriguing and underrepresented concept in YA.

How I heard of it: library

Hit the Road - Caroline B. Cooney. 2006. “It's spring, which means it's time to think about road trips.” Plus I just read a fun teen + old lady on the road book (Rules of the Road). It's thematic.

How I heard of it: library

I Am Still Alive - Kate Alice Marshall. 2018. I dig survival stories, especially in the wilderness, and this one was well recced.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Caged Graves - Dianne K. Salerni. 2013. Spook cover!! I MUST KNOW WHY THERE ARE CAGES OVER THESE GRAVES.

How I heard of it: library

Fancy Free - Betty Cavanna. 1961. Found cheap and will read this author always.

How I heard of it: antique store

Once And For All - Sarah Dessen. 2017. Stubborn determination to complete this author's canon and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Wired Man and Other Freaks of Nature - Sashi Kaufman. 2016. People in the Goodreads reviews were mad that the guys were so close yet not gay for each other. That's the very specific male friendship wheelhouse I've been looking for! Plus I know this author can write teen boys in a way I can tolerate.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Field Notes on Love - Jennifer E. Smith. 2019. Needed an audiobook and this was on display at the library; it looked cute and fluffy and I was ready for an antidote to the Dessen book.

How I heard of it: library

Midnight Sun - Trish Cook. 2017. Needed an audiobook and sick!lit seemed the most reliable of my options, given that previews for the movie had looked okay and it was real short.

How I heard of it: library

9 Days and 9 Nights - Katie Cotugno. 2018. Sequel to a book that drove me insane, but where I loved the writing style and was frustratingly fond of the characters so I Had 2 Know what happened next.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Your Destination Is On The Left - Lauren Spieller. 2018. Attractive cover + keywords like "nomadic RV lifestyle," Santa Fe, post-high-school YA, and internship

How I heard of it: library

Weird Girl and What's His Name - Meagan Brothers. 2015. X-Philes?? In MY modern-day YA fiction?? (with a side of inappropriate age-mismatched relationship?)  My interest is more likely than you'd think!

How I heard of it: library

All Out of Pretty - Ingrid Palmer. 2018. Attractive design + arresting first page piqued my curiosity

How I heard of it: library

Hitchhike - Isabelle Holland. 1977. Vintage book w/ a puppy on the cover, by an author I like.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Send No Blessings - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 1990. Reread from high school after it came up on the What's The Name of That Book? discussion group; felt a strong pull of positive feelings but couldn't remember much.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Year of the Gopher - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 1987 Wanted better understanding of the source material before reading an essay about this book and the above in Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature.

How I heard of it: another book

Up In Seth's Room - Norma Fox Mazer. 1979 There was an essay about this in Lost Masterworks too. I had read it a long time ago and remembered NOT liking it, but figured I might as well revisit it to review on Goodreads.

How I heard of it: library

Blizzard's Wake - Phyllis Reynolds Naylor. 2002. Happened to be on the shelf when I checked to see what non-Alice books of hers the library had in stock, and figured as long I'm on a Naylor kick, this might as well happen. Mainly ‘cause I saw "deadly blizzard" on the back and was like "WOW this seems useful for my hurt/comfort scenario stockpile."

How I heard of it: library

A Whole New World - Liz Braswell. 2015. Seeing the new Aladdin trailer blew up my heart with FEELINGS for the original, so I went looking for a YA retelling. Can't believe I found an actual Disney-based retelling.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

After the Dancing Days - Margaret I. Rostkowski. 1986. The connection between Roy and the little girl in The Fall reminded me of this book, so I reread it specifically to visualize Andrew as Lee Pace.

How I heard of it: Library

There's Someone Inside Your House - Stephanie Perkins. 2017. I'll read most any teen thriller you throw at me. The more murders the better.

How I heard of it: Library

All the Forever Things - Jolene Perry. 2017. Loved the author's writing style on a previous book, but couldn't stomach the love triangle. Wanted to give her another chance.

How I heard of it: Library

Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Saenz. 2012. Been on my TBR for a while because quality male friendship; read it now to see if I should keep or get rid of the dollar store copy I bought. (answer: get rid of. it's good but not amazing to me personally)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

The Hollow Girl - Hillary Monahan. 2017. Violent revenge fantasy against rapists? Especially to save the life of a guy you like who was brutally beaten during your assault? Heck yeah.

How I heard of it: Library

The Opposite of Love - Sarah Lynn Scheerger. 2014. The hurt/comfort potential was off the charts and it vaguely reminded me of Ryan/Marissa (the O.C.).

How I heard of it: Library

Sophomore Year is Greek to Me - Meredith Zeitlin. 2015. It just looked light and cute, like summer.

How I heard of it: Library

Girl Online On Tour - Zoe Sugg. 2015. Girl Online Going Solo - Zoe Sugg. 2016. Two sequels to a book I enjoyed.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Plague Land - Alex Scarrow. 2017. Plague Land Reborn - Alex Scarrow. 2018. Always here for illness-based apocalypse/dystopia. Would have finished the trilogy but library doesn’t have book 3 yet.

How I heard of it: Library

Pretty Fierce - Kieran Scott. 2017. Spy daughter of spies running for her life along w/ doting boyfriend (named Oliver, a name that has never let me down in fiction)? The ship radar is sounding OFF.

How I heard of it: Library

The Leaving - Lynn Hall. 1980. Will read any LH book, but this one was small and easy to take on an overnight trip plus everything about the summary and first couple of pages drew me in.

How I heard of it: author’s back catalog

Speed of Life - J.M. Kelly. 2016. Beautiful cover, blue collar family, unusual premise (twin sisters co-parenting the baby one of them had, no dad in sight), and I love stories where teens are (essentially) head of household.

How I heard of it: Thrift Books

Freshman Year and Other Unnatural Disasters - Meredith Zeitlin. 2012. Looked light and cute, because it's back-to-school time and lately I've been enjoying study blogs from people just starting high school.

How I heard of it: Library

The Land of 10,000 Madonnas - Kate Hattemer. 2016. Unsupervised teens a-wanderin' through Europe? Sign me up for that vicarious wanderlust.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

A Thousand Boy Kisses - Tillie Cole. 2016. A romance w/ astronomical hurt/comfort potential. (spoiler alert it’s too sickly saccharine even for me)

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Hooked - Catherine Greenman. 2011. Random reread of a book I had come to believe should have been 4 stars rather than 3, but couldn’t remember well enough to feel confident in changing the rating without checking first.

How I heard of it: Library

Appaloosa Summer - Tudor Robins. 2014. Horsey YA + after years of it being on my TBR, the author saw me post about this fact and offered to send me a free paperback copy for review.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I Stop Somewhere - T.E. Carter. 2018. I too identified as a girl my classmates would never notice was missing (moreso in college, but still). Plus it's getting close to Halloween, so time for spooky/true-crime-esque reads.

How I heard of it: library

What Waits in the Woods - Kieran Scott. 2015. An ideal spook setting for the spook season!

How I heard of it: Library

Illuminae - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff. 2015. The formatting/art design just sounded cool and unique.

How I heard of it: a book blog post

Boot Camp - Todd Strasser. 2006. I went to the library to check out a different book of his, but this caught my eye because WHUMPITY WHUMP (with a side of pining for the teacher he had previously been in a relationship with).

The Last Trip of the Magi - Michael Lorinser. 2012. Picked up cheap at a book sale for the struggling-to-survive-a-winter-night-outside aspect.

A List of Cages - Robin Roe. 2017. Male friendship loaded with hurt/comfort.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

-------

MIDDLE GRADE

Sparrow Road - Sheila O'Connor. 2011. The setting -- an artist's retreat at an old mansion on sprawling estate grounds formerly used as an orphanage -- captivated me.

How I heard of it: a Little Free Library (outside of a mansion repurposed as an art council's center, actually)

Annie's Life in Lists - Kristin Mahoney. 2018. I LOVE LISTS.

How I heard of it: library

Hope is a Ferris Wheel - Robin Herrera. 2014. Still grinding my teeth over Dessen's Once and For All, I was desperate for a sweet middle grade story to refresh my palate. Gimme that bright cover. Ooh, and a trailer park kid?

How I heard of it: Library

The Education of Ivy Blake - Ellen Airgood. 2015. Prairie Evers - Ellen Airgood. 2012. Also intended as a Dessen antidote, I picked up the sequel first due to the incredibly charming excerpt on the back, and then fell so in love with the character and writing style I needed more of her world.

How I heard of it: Library

When You Reach Me - Rebecca Stead. 2009. Rave reviews from friends; mystery aspect sounded intriguing.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Counting By 7s - Holly Goldberg Sloan. 2013. Picked up cheap at a fundraiser garage sale I wanted to support; seemed easily readable.

Summerlost - Ally Condie. 2016. Young!Ned/Chuck AU?? (spoiler alert: maybe if it wasn't so boring)

How I heard of it: Googling

Where The Heart Is - Jo Knowles. 2019. "Country girl taking care of the animals at a hobby farm across the road" = the childhood dream and also I wanted to ignore the summary and hope I could still get a Young!Ned/Chuck AU. How I heard of it: Library

The Wizards of Once - Cressida Cowell. 2017. Twice Magic - Cressida Cowell. 2018. First one: David Tennant reads the audiobook, and literally no other reasons.

Second one: Ah heck turns out I kind of loved how David Tennant read that audiobook and want more.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

My Sister Lives on the Mantelpiece - Annabel Pitcher. 2011. David Tennant reads the audiobook, and literally no other reasons.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

----------

NONFICTION

Seinology: The Sociology of Seinfeld - Tim Delaney. 2006. It's sociology, it's Seinfeld, what's not to love?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Survivor: The Ultimate Game - Mark Burnett. 2000. At the beginning of the year I was obsessed w/ this show like never before, so a detailed recap of one of its seasons seemed like the ticket to complement that.

How I heard of it: Googling

Jungle: A Harrowing True Story of Survival - Yossi Ghinsberg. 1985. Loved the movie, wanted to relive it in text form.

How I heard of it: special features on the DVD

Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature - ed. Connie Zitlow. 2002. There was an essay about Send No Blessings in here. If that's the kind of book this book is about, I wanna hear all about it.

How I heard of it: Library catalog

Animals in Young Adult Fiction - Walter Hogan. 2009. From the same publishing line as the above, which I loved, I figured this was even MORE my specialized reading niche.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Phantoms of the Hudson Valley - Monica Randall. 1996. When I have I ever NOT wanted to read about grand mansions of yesteryear -- especially if some are abandoned ruins?

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Seven Cats and the Art of Living - Jo Coudert. 1996. Picked up cheap at a library sale because cats (and the cute author-illustrated cover painting).

Psychic Pets and Spirit Animals: True Stories From The Files of Fate Magazine. 1996. Random reread of a childhood favorite.

How I heard of it: B. Dalton's (THAT’S how long I’ve had this book, y’all).

Extreme Couponing - Joni Meyer-Crothers with Beth Adelman. 2013. Who doesn't love saving money? But I am not very coupon-savvy and wanted to learn.

How I heard of it: Library

Cabin Lessons: A Tale of 2x4s, Blisters and Love - Spike Carlsen. 2015. Having the money/skill to build my own cabin on MN's north shore is a fun daydream.

How I heard of it: Library

The Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap: A Memoir of Friendship, Community, and the Uncommon Pleasure of a Good Book  - Wendy Welch. 2012. Opening a used bookstore is my impractical dream too.

How I heard of it: Library

Belonging: A German Reckons With History and Home - Nora Krug.  2018. Illustrated memoirs are always awesome.

How I heard of it: Library

The Astor Orphan: A Memoir - Alexandra Aldrich. 2013.

Rokeby was one of the estates that fascinated me in Phantoms of the Hudson Valley, and the content of this one took place around the same era that book was written.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

I'll Be There For You: The One About Friends - Kelsey Miller. 2018. Am I going to turn down "a retrospective" about one of my favorite shows?? I am not.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Season Finale: The Unexpected Rise and Fall of the WB & UPN. 2007. Recommended after the above because I love hearing how network TV stations are built in terms of programming decisions.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

Paperback Crush: The Totally Radical History of 80s and 90s Teen Fiction - Gabrielle Moss. 2018. Take how I reacted to Lost Masterworks of Young Adult Literature, and multiply it by "fully illustrated with brightly colored pages." These are the kind of books I’m familiar with and always down to talk/hear about, but hardly anyone else is.

How I heard of it: Goodreads

[sdhanagare]

Happy Birthday Amitji

Amitabh Bachchan completes 77 years and 50 years of entertaining us.

It was 1969 he made his debut. I was just 5 years old.

In 1970 we left for Brighton England for my Fathers doctorate, ( before which in 1969 a superstar came on the horizon in form of Rajesh Khanna

I remember the last movie we saw before leaving India was Aradhana).

We were in England for almost 4 years. So I missed the phenomena of Rajesh Khanna and the blooming of Amitabh Bachchan.

I remember the first movie I saw was Roti Kapada aur Makaan it was 1974 at Heer Palace Kanpur. I fell in love with the charismatic character of Vijay .

His journey from a unruly youth to the army where he looses his arm( my father used to tease me for many days as Dunda Haath Chalaaye Bandook ) was very well depicted by him under the direction of Manoj Kumar. The way he drives the motorcycle with the accelerator between his teeth. I was overwhelmed , His anger was so genuine.

The second movie I remember was Benaam. A suspense thriller and my admiration for him increased.

This was followed by reruns of Anand Namak Haraam and Abhimaan at our L7  auditorium at IIT Kanpur ( as they had been released when we were abroad )

I used to ask my parents to take me to see his releases.

Those were the days of advance booking and being away from the main city many times we could not get tickets to his movies..

We had to try thrice before we could see Deewar and Sholay both released in the year of emergency 1975.

Faraar, Chupke Chupke and Mili were the first movies I saw more than once in those days as a 11 year old. Thankfully for me my parents also were movie buffs. ( Obviously I could not go alone then but started doing so 4 years later )

Something which came to me genetically as my grandmother also was a movie fan. We used to see movies over the fortnight.

After almost 2and half months during my Diwali Vacation of 1975, we finally got tickets to Sholay at Sundar theatre. The movie then was ruthlessly edited with Asranis scenes as also Jayas Holi Scenes being cut . But that movie had a great impact on me, esp the character of Jai.

It was later in 1976 in its Golden Jubilee week I we saw Deewaar.

After Deewar I was totally smitten with Amitji, I used to tie a knot on my shirt like he did. Since then somehow or the other I saw every movie released.

In 1978 we shifted to Pune.

In Pune I realised that theatres were not so far as in Kanpur and I had a cycle.

In 1979 in 9th Standard I bunked school and went to see The Great Gambler ( which my parents would not allow as it was for Adults ). In Pune I understood the concept of Advance Booking, where bookings for a movie used to open on Monday and if one wished to see a film First day then that booking needed to be done.

In vacations we used to go my Dads Hometown of Washim ( then in Akola, now a district ) , there we had a theatre owned by a trust of which my grandfather was a trustee. Movies were free for us and seats were reserved for trustees.

Used to love going to the movies there but my memory brightens up when I remember that I saw Muqaddar Ka Sikander 4 times on the trot in 4 days, including once ( Interval to Interval ). Sholay I saw there 5 times in a week, this was thankfully the uncut version .

It is a well-known chapter of Indian film history beginning with the release of Prakash Mehras Zanjeer in 1973 which turned Amitabh into a goldmine.

This movie I finally got to see first on DD and in the theatre as late as 1980 during a re-run. Smouldering in the Salim-Javed dialogues and refracted through the Amitabh flamboyance fired the imagination of a whole nation as nothing had ever done before a trend which was carried ahead in Deewar, Sholay,Trishul, Don, Kaala Pathhar, Shaan, Shakti.

Movies then used to release phase wise first in Metros and a week or even later in other cities . Pune normally movies released a week later than Mumbai

And Lonawala used to come in the Mumbai circuit. I used to take a local to Lonawala to see Amitabhs movies. Once for Yaarana the tickets were not available in Black also , I took a ride at the back of a truck and went till Khopoli and saw the movie. Similarly Kaalia also I saw at Lonawala.

From Pune used to go for Summer Vacations to Mumbai and saw many movies there. Namak Halaal, Dostana, Desh Premee, Mahaan were all seen there.

Once I decided to go and visit his house, then Prateeksha. I had gone alone and after I reached just looked at the house in awe.

I always used to think if I could ever meet him, see him.

Thats a long story and long time ahead.

One incident I remember that in 1991, my father was travelling from Delhi to Mumbai,( and from Mumbai to Pune by road, as Pune airport was not functional then). On reaching home he asked me during dinner , guess who was next to me on the flight ( He was eligible for Business Class then ). I couldnt guess and he told me, your favourite Amitabh Bachchan. I was zapped, I said Dad did you get his autograph ? Dad replied, why should I , Iam not his fan, when you meet him, take it .

Cut to 1994 , I had won the All India award for Best Sales performance and the award was to be given at Mumbai. We were invited to Mumbai and put up at Ajantha Ambassador hotel. We were to join the team from Pune as they started from Sangli by Mahalaxmi express which reached Pune at 6am, we found that very early and decided to come by Deccan Queen which reached Mumbai by 10.30 am. As I reached the Hotel, I saw a Mercedes Van coming out of the gate, I wowed it and came to the reception where my colleague Pravin Rayate greeted me with.. You should have come a bit earlier, Amitabh Bachchan was in the lobby to pick up Jaya Ji {who had her office on the second floor ( Saraswati Audiovisuals, the makers of the TV hit seriel Dekh Bhai Dekh )}. So I Mercedes I saw was his and if I had taken Mahalaxmi express and come, I would have met him. It was not to be. It dampened the spirits of my award ( which I received two days later at Taj from the hands of Adi.B and Nadir.B Godrej .

The Journey moved on..

Insipte of the ups and downs, odds and evens Amitabhs box-office records can be described only in superlatives. Producers and distributors seemed to believe still that even a flop with Amitabhs name on the marquee is a good enough grosser, which was proved by the trade.

His image of the angry young man had viewers reeling under the magic of neorealism, where dream and daydream coalesced in a brave new world. The myriad manifestations of Amitabhs no-holds-barred rebellion offered a blissful release to the repressions of a whole generation. The star became a cult figure of radical dynamism, of iconoclastic change. He was no stranger to the seaminess of street life. His idealism rose not from birth or class, but from action. His avatars recurred in shanties and ghettos, in the underworld dens and among the dregs of humanity. There he battled with the predators of the concrete jungle for survivalhis belligerence hiding a tender heart, family virtues, human kindliness. He was the ultimate good man, often turned bad by circumstances, whose atonement came through self-sacrificeoften unto gory, long-drawn death.

So from Zanjeer through Deewar, Sholay, Mukaddar ka Sikandar, Shahenshah, Inderjeet, Agneepath and Akayla, to Khuda Gawah, the Amitabh archetype continues to reflect variations on a simplistic mould, magnified to a brilliant potency; it has now become part of the collective psyche of a nation of filmgoers. It was the perfect antidote to the dystopian nightmare of modern mechanistic existence, especially in the less cynical times of the recent past. Amitabh individuates his roles with the utmost confidence and conviction. He makes the unsubtle seem subtle, touches the crass with class, makes melodrama credible. Certainly, no other Indian actor had the speaking eyes and spellbinding voice to infuse nuanced suggestivity into stereotypical situations. His finesse did not alienate his characters from the masses.

In the mid 90s he moved towards central Character roles the catalyst being Mohobattein.

Then came the super hit T.V. show Kaun Banega Carorepati anchored by Amitabh. It gave an entire new life to his career which was under the dark shadow.

Finally out of the blue came the date, 12th November 2018.

The prelude to this date was the fact that I had connected to Amitji on all his social media accounts , also my senior colleague Dr Manoj Mehta who was an active participant of ABEF ( Amitabh Bachchan extended Family ), offered us a chance to be a spectator at the KBC show , we ( My friend / ex senior from Godrej Sanjay Pandey, and current colleague Kapil Sharma ) . The date was 12th November. It was the last week of shooting of that season. We reached the sets at Film City at 2 pm sharp but had a long wait till 8pm till we were finally seated, alas in the third row. It was another wait for an hour before the shoot began. Finally at @ 9.00pm he came in a Maroon Suit, seeing him I froze.. There he was some 25 feet away from me. Very interactive with the crowd, very sportive, responding to our comments and jokes. How almost 4 hours past, and it was well after 12am that the photos he has with the audience started and well after 1 am that he left. Look at his dedication reached the sets at 9 am completed 2 episode shoots and left at 1 am. He had just turned 76 then. I had finally seen with my eyes, my hero , my idol, or even if I may say My god.

But better things were ahead, The 2019 edition of KBC started in August 2019.

We had epressed our wish to be a participant again. It was 18th July, at 7.12 pm got a message from Dr Manoj that we could attend the shoot on 6th August as the show restarted on 5th August. This time the procedure was different. There was an online procedure which need to be followed up with the invite.

We did that. But July end, rains started in Mumbai and Pune, everywhere there were spells of flooding, roads closed. Sanjay and Myself were the only two left from Pune and a friend of Sanjay, Kailash Agarwal was to jpin us at Mumbai.

The forecast was rains, we debated till late evening weather to go or quit, but the urge of seeing him was so much that we decided to take the risk.

We reached at 3 pm sharp , but this time there wasnt a long wait. We enrolled ourselves and it was an hour and half later that we were inside. This time being enrolled from the ABEF , we got privileged entry, and were in the first row.

Oh what a feeling it was !! Another hour Later Big B made his majestic entry. Again he was interactive with the crowd, and the shooting ended at 8.30 pm.

Then the photographs moments came. Finally he was in front of me, I had taken a token gift for him, which he accepted. Took his Biography along which he autographed. I was trembling in joy as I shook hands with him, talked to him, it lasted a minute but the emotions were beyond eternity.

Finally at the age of 55 and 45 years later I got to meet him.

Nobody else ever had this deadly combination of unmatched talent and charisma and nobody else will ever have it in future. Then there was style, polish and a great deal of seclusion encouraging rumours and augmenting the aura. Anyway one looked at it, the man radiates power. To recapitulate there has only been one super star in India, and that is Amitabh Bachchan. 

[bnha-imagines-hcs]

Hey dude! You're making great stuff! Could I please have B, K, and W from the fluff prompt for Aizawa, Hizashi and Spinner? You know Aizawa and Hizashi are my darlings, but I've recently developed a fondness for the lizard boi.Thank you so much!

( the lizard boi… is kinda cute. but what is UP with his SWORDs!? | also i fucking love kamojis… JesUs ChrisT )

fluff alphabet;

| aizawa; headcanons.

BREATH     just exist… in his life… y ea h. tbh aizawa is just always A Huge Fan of u and the fact ur there in a nice way, so like??? yeethaw bby always a fan.

he a sucker for the whole boyfriend shirt thing, it’s just he doesn’t have a whole lotta clothes beside his professional look (dress shirt and slacks) and his actual working look (fuckin… pullover/overall/bodysuit thing lmfao wtf). you could,, ofc,,,,,, put on a huge frigging sweater - the kind commonly used as a dress - and like… thigh highs…. ehrem. (kitty pattern optional but super effective.) and just. hair down (or up) and just. and just.

                    be there.

also if u ever back him up or lead him in a fight, whether it’s frontline business or just you tryin ur best to evacuate a few peeps, well… that’ll do the trick. #synergy TM. he loves the fact ur partners, so anything that actively demonstrates/proves this is… multo bene.

honestly tho just breathe this hobo is a total softie and he so weak for love… so weak for love.

KISS    he actually adores kisses, yet doesn’t indulge often - as with most things that bring him simple pleasure & relaxation, shouta straight up forgets. just- forgets about it. 

it’s not small pecks and chaste things that he really adores - those are. kinda awkward, really. if it makes ya happy go for it, gestures, but. ehh. eh? eh.

long and involved kisses, that’s where it’s at.                                     hands messing w/ ur hair as he draws you close or draws in close himself or both or (we’re very big on equality here), able to drown in dark & warm comfort, feeling u and keeping u locked away in his little corner of the world until you’re ready to go. these happen in private, if aizawa can help it. it’s his prize for bein’ a martyr all the damn time (cough needlessly hard on himself cough), so the rest of the world can fuck off and just let him have this.

he doesn’t initiate ‘long and involved’ in public; don’t mistake this for a lack of interest! he’s just being decent (●´∀｀●)

WILD CARD     the only thing high-maintenance about shouta is the situational factors. he just wants to chill, have a home that is place & person, someone he can have intelligent conversation and comfortable silence with… just to share their lives without infringing on each other too much.he’s very… myeah. non-conventional? if you’re poly and he’s not, have fun with that it’s cool. if you’re busy a lot like him, that’s cool. if you wanna live separately, np. if you need to take time to yourself for a couple years, you do you.what he does demand is truthfulness. not that you don’t have secrets, but that you can just say ‘man i don’t wanna tell you’, rather than deceit. he’s a liiiiiiiittle sensitive about lies, even small ones.

2) also.. he loves to just read together. he doesn’t have a fireplace but if he did, it’d be readin’ by the fire.

| hizashi; headcanons.

BREATH     no offence but this man’s usually short of breath, what with the constant noice production. the things about life that leave him breathless are what drive him, what fuel him - it’s always somewhere on his mind.if he ain’t livin’ his best life, he about to.

so honestly? hmmm. he’s most often kinda in that state, but – ohhh yeah. big droopy sweater + thigh highs used as sleepwear or just. just. on his s/o… pls sit on his lap. pretty please? pleeeassseee… frick.movie night and it’s warm enough and u come out in that and sidle up to him and oh ooohhhh b o y . he’ll just curl an arm arnd you and light his hand upon ur arm, real gentle, not pouncing or w/e just - enjoying tf out of that.

KISS    mmmmmmmm, y e s. hizashi does not, in fact, believe in PDA - the term and general consensus suggests that displays of affection are somehow meant to be absent from day to day life, as though we ought hide our hearts and pretend to be cardboard.not exactly this guy’s thing.

where shouta will seek out privacy for a kiss with real feeling, hizashi– won’t. sure, if things get particularly heated he’ll suggest a break or a, hah, room (if others haven’t already). but as long as it’s warm loving mmmmm yes i love you mmmm hizashi feels there’s nothing improper about it and will give very few shits about commentary. you will end up in a bitchfight with him if u push it- kisses without wandering hands are not indecent, gdu, and any attempt to make he or his partner feel shame over it will be met with… vehement opposition.

alternatively if you are simply highly uncomfortable and respectful about it, ofc they can save it for when you’re not forced to be in the same room as them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

     every kiss is a real kiss \o/. hizashi positively glows under the weight of lil pecks and ‘i’m leaving’ / ‘i’m back’ / ‘i’m gonna miss u already’ / etc cheek kisses. very fond of the ‘let’s kiss every lil bit of ur face’ style. subscribed to ‘oh? you think this part of u is undesirable? KISSSSSS’ series. proud author of ‘3 hours of body worship is an aperitif, my love’.

WILD CARD     swings and like, those old-school playgrounds for preteens - those are still the shit. hizashi loves lazing around on a swing, gently rocking back and forth while talking about everything or nothing. it’s easy, there’s literally no pressure whatsoever, it’s nostalgic.pushing each other on the swings?? chill as fuck. riding those errr those things w/ the big-ass springs underneath - also cool. oh my god riding those things err SHIT IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED ... ‘cable ways’ ..? The Shit.

just innocent play time pls. no stress & chill.

| spinner; headcanons.

BREATH.      pls. pls play games w/ him and go wild - that’ll do it. if you rock out playing racing / gta / etc games, he’ll love watching u go go go and just. hang back. needlessly awe-struck. it’s just nice to share smth he loves, smth non-serious without strain, and have the person he likes enjoy themselves with it.

KISS     well it’s scaly, we can’t deny that. ‘s not bad though, and that’s esp true if you’re more of a monster fucker than a coward. smooth, stumbly, and generally a lil awkward cuz he’s not at all used to ppl even ??? wanting ?? a lil smoochy smooch from him??? yeah.

eager, though. spinner’s got pretty normal dreams with yer picket fences and vidya games and maybe even a house that’s like inhabitable… yeah. a life where you can just reach out and touch and have it be affection rather than… disgust……… he’s always more affectionate than sexual - that’s more important to him, and his self-image is such that getting turned on doesn’t even really happen. and boy does he have an assortment of cute lil kisses as a result.

soft, careful pecks to test the waters even though you’ve responded well 50 times already - spinner’s someone who’ll ask for permission more often than not, wary of finding out something good has become something… not so good. it’s a hang-up he’ll not let go of soon. lingering ‘i can’t believe this is happening oh shit should i move? fuck am i-’ cheek kisses while he’s arched awkwardly to reach over the couch.sloppy ‘i can’t believe i’m this lucky but i’m too sleepy to question it’ morning / late night kisses.‘hey i was gone for a while and i can’t believe u still want me to kiss u!!! sc o rrrrrre and also oh god are u ALRIGHT.’ less restrained, embraces, face kisses, accidentally kissing ur eye. that happened.he has an excited ‘oh my god u made us hot chocolate’ kiss that stems from i’m living the fucking life finally ho god. 

he’s just. so happy. so happy to have someone he likes and likes him back, smn he can just be domestic with. sure he does crazy shit, but he loves to.. be homey. and lots and lots of little, tentative kisses at every opportunity.

also mini hand touches, but he’s still working on that.

WILD CARD     pls sit on his shoulders and let him scale rooftops like that. adrenaline junking together is The BeesKnees. u wanna get thrown?? the boi will throw u. u wanna cliff dive?? yeet let’s go. u wanna rollercoasterrrrrr rid es. s /? !? ?!? FUCK YES LE’S GO.

[raaven-nerd]

the epic mega tag of tags

I’ve been inactive for an eternity so I got tagged in a bunch of things by a WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE (THANK YOU ALL FOR TAGGING ME I LOVE YOU ALL <3) 

So i decided to combine all these tags into ONE MEGA TAG!!! I’m sorry if I don’t have every single tag that people have tagged me in, because I was kinda... inactive lol 

I honestly have no idea how many questions are in here, but I’m really excited to answer all these questions. Subtle hint for you guys to ask me questions lmao!! My ask box is always open ;)

//INTRO//

Time: 9:00AM (i’m on summer break, i’m not ditching school rn lol) 

Name: Michelle

Nickname: Mich (pronounced mish,,) and Michy (fun fact: all my friends spell this differently but the correct spelling is michy!! At least that’s how i spell my nickname lmao)

Gender: Female

Nationality: Australian

Star Sign: Cancer

Height: like 157cm LMAO i’m really short

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw (hence my branding lmao)

Languages Spoken: English, Cantonese (but badly), Japanese (but only because i learn it at school)

Dream job: GOOD QUESTION LMAO umm something medical?? But like if i was remotely talented, doing something creative would be really cool.

How many pets do you have: 1, I have a pet dog named Pepper

What am I wearing: A T-shirt from last year’s school musical that’s way too big for me and black shorts (and by that i don’t mean a T-shirt that was like part of my costume,, i mean like a merch kinda t-shirt?? but not really merch bc i was in the musical) 

Instruments/sports played: I don’t play any instruments ,, well i play ukulele badly lmao, and i play soccer and volleyball for grade sport :)

//ABOUT THE BLOG//

When did you make this account? Like,, 2 years ago?? YIKES

Why did you join studyblr? Honestly i don’t remember why,, probably bc i wanted to get better at studying and get more motivated

How many followers do you have? Surprisingly around 4800

Why I chose my url: because i’m a nerd,, and my hogwarts house is ravenclaw

//BELOW THE CUT//

Things about my personal life :000 (get that juicy goss!! lol not really tho my life is pre uneventful)

Study tips and my study routine I guess? Just about how i study lol  

Music/Book/Film/TV faves and other related thingos (aka how cultured am i?? again not really tho i’m just trying to make this sound interesting lmao) 

And some more just RANDOM things lmao (like some of these things get really random lol) 

//PERSONAL//

What are three basic facts about you? Okay so whenever a teacher asks me to introduce myself at the start of the school year, my default interesting fact is “I have a dog” and every single year the teachers are super amazed that i have a pet dog and it’s absolutely hilarious bc everyone else is like “I’m not sharing any personal information with you guys”, and the teacher ends up interrogating me about my pet dog.

That’s not a basic fact lol um.. My birthday is on the 15th of July, I’m the youngest of 3 siblings and I graduate in 2020 :))

What was the best part of your day today? Ngl this is actually a really hard question for me to answer because I am NOT in a good mental state right now… but probably watching Joe Sugg’s new vlog. That was a good way to spend a study break. OR REPLYING TO THAT ANON MESSAGE OMG everyone sending me messages saying that they’re glad to see me back just wow ;; i can’t believe people even noticed i was gone it’s just ahhughsgs thank you all so much <33 

Relationship status: um… single… yeah let’s just leave it at that

who is the first person you go to in a crisis, when you’ve had a hard day, or when you need to vent? Well… my best friend would be the first person i go to.. Except we’re on holidays right now and they have the worst reply game (bc they’re kinda not allowed to talk to me,,, it’s complicated lmao)

what is your love language? (if you don’t know it, there are plenty of love language quizzes on Google! I definitely encourage you to look it up and find it out for your benefit!) :ooo I did a quiz for this ages ago BUT I GOTTA DO IT AGAIN bc i forgot LOL 

OKAY i did it! I used 5lovelanguages.com so yeah.. Just in case anyone was wondering? But I guess my love language is quality time/words of affirmation and from highest to lowest it’s quality time (9), words of affirmation (8), physical touch (6), acts of service (4) and receiving gifts (3) 

what are the little things in your life that make you happy? Lmao all my friends bc we’re all SHORT AF.. but seriously,, just really small things can make me so happy, just being able to spend time with my friends makes me really happy?? Like we can just sit in (comfortable) silence, but i’ll be so content to just be there with my friends..  Quality time with friends?? thanks love language Does that count idk how to answer this

What is your favourite thing about yourself? Um physical thing?? Probably my hair tbh.. But like my actual fav thing about myself is um the fact that i’m empathetic, generally pre organised and good w/ time management and i can like teach myself stuff?? or maybe how i could be having the worst day of my life and i’ll still want to spread positivity and good vibes?? Yeah that’s pre cool 

what accomplishment in your life are you most proud of? Uhh i got dux of english a few years back? I was in the top 10 of 4 subjects last year so that’s pre cool? But tbh the accomplishment i’m most proud of is probably just going to the school I go rn.. OR surviving last year lol 2018 was a mess 

What’s one piece of advice to yourself a year ago? GIRL things are gonna be tough. Like really hecking tough. But it’s not worth it to hold grudges, there’s no point letting fear of what could happen stop you from doing things you want to do and you will survive and you will be stronger because of it. Don’t let what other people say about you get you down, yes, it sucks to hear people speculating about you and your private life, but they have no idea what’s actually going on, and they’re just curious . No one has anything against you. You are loved, and you are worthy, and you are strong. You got this.

what is a skill you wish you had? To play guitar!! Or to be able to sing!!

Name three places you’d like to go to. Richard Rodgers Theatre to watch Hamilton, Music Box Theatre to watch Dear Evan Hansen and the Warner Bros Studio Tour in London. (but also, Japan, London and New York)

//STUDY & ACADEMICS//

What’s your degree/favourite subject? Uhhh it was drama but i dropped that and the 2019 school year hasn’t started yet so.. Who knows?

What motivates you to study? The fact that I gotta do well and get good marks in order to get into a good uni course… and the fact that i just want to keep getting better,, and i don’t want to disappoint people and i also don’t want to do badly bc yikes its real competitive at my school so like lowkey fear of failure

What time do you do your best studying? Tbh it really depends, it’s either the morning not long after i wake up (esp if it’s holidays or the weekend), right after i get home from school, or like late at night if i get a burst of motivation (like sometimes i’ll end up studying from 10:30 to 1am which isn’t sustainable if i have to get up at 7 for school) 

Best self care tip for exam season? Don’t spend your time around people who get really stressed out. It only makes you more stressed, and you don’t need that extra worry. Positive vibes only. Stay chill!

Do you listen to music when you study? Yeah. I just listen to music with no lyrics and I’ll use @studyquill​’s playlist :DD

Where do you do your best studying? I do pretty much all my studying at home so.. home?? but i have this spot at school that i like to go to in the mornings when no one’s at school yet because it’s super quiet and i can get some quality work done there 

What’s your go to thing when studying? Write notes, do practise questions, draw summary mind maps and try to recite my notes from memory

//MUSIC//

put your music library on shuffle, list the first 15 songs

Oh boi this is going to be interesting

How Would You Feel - Ed Sheeran

Part of Me (Bonus Track) - Dear Evan Hansen

If I Could Fly - One Direction

Better Man - 5 Seconds of Summer

If I Could Tell Her - Dear Evan Hansen

Somebody to Love - Queen

Moving Along - 5 Seconds of Summer

Candy Store - Heathers the Musical

Cabinet Battle #2 - Hamilton

Guns for Hands - Twenty One Pilots

Sunrise - In The Heights

The Judge - Twenty One Pilots

Radio Ga Ga - Queen 

Defying Gravity - Wicked 

Shine a Light - Heathers the Musical 

Song stuck in your head: for some reason Acid Rain by Cimorelli just randomly came into my head when I woke up this morning?? so that i guess lol 

Last song you played: Alaska by Maggie Rogers

What are you listening to right now? well right now it’s Shine a Light lmao

what are your 5 favourite songs right now? THIS IS HARD OMG okay um Photograph by Ed Sheeran, Shout Out To My Ex by Little Mix, Fire Away by Niall Horan, Walking in the Wind by One Direction and I discovered Light On by Maggie Rogers today so that too!!

What’s your favourite lyric right now? Darling you don't have to hold it/You don't have to be afraid/You can go 'head and unload it/'Cause you know it'll be okay

Fave artist? GOOD QUESTION.. I don’t have an answer lmao but I like 5SOS, Ariana Grande’s new songs, Ed Sheeran and the soundtracks to quite a few musicals but that doesn’t answer the question lol 

//FILM, BOOKS & TV//

Last movie you saw: I rewatched Crazy Rich Asians :))

Top three TV shows: lol i don’t watch TV but all times favs include Gravity Falls and The Simpsons annnnndd um… yeah I really don’t watch much TV lol

What are your favourite books? All time fav is Harry Potter, but rn my fav is probably 13 Reasons Why (i know it’s also a TV show so i might check it out!!)

Which ones are you currently reading or want to read? Right now, I’m reading Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver. I’m only a few pages in though.

What’s the most recent book you’ve read? Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

//MISCELLANEOUS// 

Describe your favourite colour without saying the name! Soft colour of love

What’s your favourite season? Probably autumn

Favourite animal? My pet dog lmao (i really like dogs but i love so many animals but we’ll just say dogs)

Last thing you googled: ‘fire away lyrics niall horan’ because i wanted to check i had the right words lol

How many blankets you sleep with: 1

If you could be a celebrity, who would you be? Probs Emma Watson or Ariana Grande

What is the last text you sent? Ummm i’ll check AND i quote “I AM,,, somewhat certain that’s correct bc like.. I don’t have any confidence in myself”  I was talking to my friend about an assignment lol

Average hours spent sleeping? 7-8 ish??? But during the school term, it could be more like 6-7 but still ain’t that bad???

WOW THAT WAS LONG if u actually stayed throughout all of this and read it all,, (which no one probably did) umm dm me your fav lyrics of the moment? yeah do that lol i wanna meet some new people 

[occasionalfics]

hiiiii Paige!!! i'm 4hrs into my all-nighter and am taking a bit of a break, wanna give me your thoughts on both Steve and Sam? :))

YES

steve

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (thor is the love of my life...sorry steve)hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (steve could very easily be a gryffinclaw, i think)best quality: JUSTICE. steve’s moral compass is better weighted than the american justice system and that’s the teaworst quality: he bottles his emotions and literally doesn’t know who he can truly trust besides sam, bucky, and nat. and thor but because SOMEONE(s) decided to have a showdown in an airport tarmac, he’s not up to date (and also has a lot to deal with himself, which steve is very conscientious of)ship them with: my girl peggy, bucky, sam, thor, lilian from accounting (with the lip piercing...idk i just have a special place in my heart for lilian from accounting), happiness, a quiet farm where he and bucky can raise goats while sam saves the world? pls steve needs a nap.brotp them with: basically anyone i ship him with. steve has to get to know someone REALLY WELL before opening up. and rhodey because colonel james rhodes straight up HUNG UP HIS SKYPE CALL WITH THE SECRETARY OF STATE FOR STEVE. and also wanda because steve clearly sees some of himself in her (esp. in the mistakes she’s made)needs to stay away from: i hesitate to say tony but like really who is tony really friends with besides, like, peter (maybe) and bruce right now? misc. thoughts: steve is the best boy.

sam

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would banghogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff (sam’s a hatstall in my head? i think he’s a huffledor tbh)best quality: loyalty (hence hufflepuff first). this man was willing to drop his quiet job at the VA the second captain america asked him to. his sense of duty is S T R O N G. he’s a criminal according to the US government because he believed in steve. he WILL protect his friends and he is the only one that’s allowed to trash talk them.worst quality: ??????? he’s got a loud mouth? that’s not even like a bad quality in his case? sam just jokes around??? i’m really having trouble finding a worst quality in sam??? he’s...too trusting? stubborn? we’ll go with stubborn because of the whole “can you move your seat up?” thing i guess?ship them with: post-wakanda bucky, steve, even nat in certain situations (love retreat by @captainrogerss is a great example), and in my dreams, maria hill (she’s the one that calls him falcon and i know that’s not a lot to go on but wow can you imagine sam and maria?!?!?!)brotp them with: STEVE, bucky when they warm up to one another (i.e. when they’re tired of steve leaving them alone in rooms together), nat FOR SURE, maria hill (friends to lovers would be GREAT MARVEL UR MISSING OUT!!!)needs to stay away from: he’s never been fond of, you guessed it, tony. like on a personal level, i feel. man i swear i don’t hate tony, but he’s really alienated himself recently.misc. thoughts: sam deserves to be cap. sam deserves his own movie. sam deserves so much.

[shultzing]

7/29/2018: did i already say how much of an angel this guy is

8/13/2018: i’m so mad that i’m dating someone so much cuter than me. i never intended for this to happen. my type is usually men who are just above average looking, which I was happy with. now, i have to constantly think about how i look bc I know everyone around us has GOT to be thinking like, wtf is that beautiful man doing w/ that scrubby looking twig in the ancient clothes?? and like... he HAS to know. idc so much if other people are wondering how i got w/ him as long as HE isn’t like... damn, i could be doing so much better... anyways kill me, he is too fucking handsome and this birth control is making my skin break out really bad.

8/22/2018: this whole thing about being in a casual relationship is weird and tbh i’m less and less a fan. maybe i need to grow tf up but like, here’s an example. I’m going to a show friday night that’s literally 5 minutes from his house, and i know he’s free friday, and yet i won’t invite him bc i don’t want to see him there bc i don’t want him to be part of my local music world bc then he’ll mean that much more to me and it will be that much harder to feel and act casual. so that feels shitty. and like, i could totally skip the show and just go hang out w/ him, but I know he’s not planning his life around me, so I don’t want to get myself into a frame of mind where i’m sacrificing my stuff to be w/ him, so i make a point to not plan around him and not cancel plans for him. But getting to a point where i actively don’t want him to come to things w/ me is like some kind of accomplishment but also feels like a battle i don’t want to win? like i’m getting too good at it. at first i was like... struggling w/ it and he could probably tell? esp by how much i texted him and what kinds of texts i sent. but now i’m like, i’ve got a handle on it. i’m good. and it makes me sad. like what is the point of a casual relationship? what’s the point of a relationship you barely care about?

8/26/2018: conflict resolution like bosses >:) i know it’s just a beginning but we didn’t ever even get to a point of real conflict, although we were both approaching the subject at hand from wildly different perspectives and pretty high stakes. no insults or even criticisms, just explaining ourselves, being honest, and both quick to apologize. He definitely gets flustered and then gets a lot less precise about what he’s saying but then he’ll circle back to it when he’s had a minute to process/calm down and can fix whatever he mis-explained previously. It’s good to be back to good. 

8/28/2018: first use of a pet name: drunk text -- “Goodnight cutie. Sweet dreams and I’ll talk to you tomorrow <3″

8/31/2018: the way he reacted when i got suddenly skittish/stressed out was a startling moment in a really good way. He stayed so calm/supportive/reassuring. Who knew that was possible? 

9/1/2018: i think we’re becoming friends :’) meeting someone on a dating app, everything is backward bc the romance and skin comes before the friendship/knowing the person/etc so whenever we hang out for long enough to have time to get into decently long conversations and learn about each other or fight over whether william carlos williams is a good poet or not... it’s nice, and more special. Like, oh! that’s who you are?

9/8/2018: the way that relationships evolve is strange. like, a couple of weeks ago, just getting a text from M or not getting a text from him could change my mood and ability to focus so much bc everything was so new and uncertain and both exciting and stressful. now it’s okay either way. we’ve been dating for a little more than 2 months and things are getting to be sort of familiar and comfortable and less of a constant heart attack. the newness is still strange, there’s always some surprise. The other night he came over w/ his hair down and I was like ???? since when do you have hair like a young eddie vedder?? what is this?? but he was just like... yeah, that’s how it is right after i shower. i had no idea. it’s nice to literally get to watch someone slowly learn to trust you. he doesn’t act shy but it’s also easy to tell that he always has his walls up, I definitely have never seen them down yet, and that is okay. but the more comfortable he gets, the warmer he gets, and that’s really sweet. i’m frequently surprised by how competent of a person he is. he goes to the gym, he eats healthy, he’s a good boss, he’s a good student, he’s a good dog-parent etc. he asks questions like, “reading anything good lately?” and also corrected me instantly when I said KDC died in 93. he communicates clearly/gently/honestly. i’m getting to know some of his flaws, too. anyways i was out w/ a friend (allison c.) last night and we were talking about how shitty men are. i told her that the reason i’m w/ M is mainly just to get a chance to date someone who seems like he can prove that men can actually be really good. told her a story about how M reacted whenever i was having a bad moment and she was like, “I literally have goosebumps rn.” it was cute. reminded me not to take him for granted while he’s in my life. hope i’m not.

9/11/2018: M’s coming over tomorrow and i can’t waittttt. We try to see each other twice a week but sometimes it doesn’t happen and then it feels like forever. But now it’s less than 24 hours until i can hold his hands and kiss his face and i’m so ready.

9/13/2018: If this relationship is going to stick for a while... i can’t wait for the stage to come where i actually know him well enough that i’m not always overanalyzing/overreacting to every little cue. like there’s so much i don’t know that i can learn little things and be like WAIT WHAT? and get really stressed about it and i can’t wait for that to be over. how long til there’s an underlying level of trust/knowledge/comfort? 

9/23/2018: Okay so for the most part this relationship is starting to feel normal. It still doesn’t always feel real just because he is so segregated from the rest of my life. No mutual friends. no school to share, no work to share, no volunteering or show circuit. No one else has met him or even really knows what he looks like bc of a lack of recent pictures. I’m slowly getting more confident and comfortable within it, even though i do still second guess myself a lot more than i usually do. I guess i’m used to being fussed over and spoiled. But this isn’t like that at all. We’re both a) adults and b) busy and c) on opposite sides of the city and he’s still pretty reserved so I know I’m like, low-ish on his priorities list. Like i’m ON the list, but somewhere beneath going to the gym and getting a haircut, and about 10 miles below his dog. It’s fine, it’s only been like 3 months. Less than that. ANYWAY we’ve finally graduated out of the just-casual-relationship category and into the normal relationship category. Or, he said he thought we did a month ago, but I didn’t realize that’s what he was saying. So now I can stop filtering everything I say and do through that ever-present, “is this too serious?” lens and just do what makes sense/comes naturally. or something. I’m super excited about that bc that was getting really tiring and unromantic. 

9/30/2018: Uhhh, we went back into a weird “unlabeled” category where like we’re monogamous but nothing else is defined? Which I think is really lame but I also am trying to be patient and not pressure him and stuff. But I still think it’s silly and juvenile and kind of embarrassing. I mean I know he has his reasons and he needs to work through them on his own and at his own pace but for ME, it’s silly. Anyways. Still feels like there’s so much I don’t know about him or how he works or thinks or feels. But he still is always surprising me by just sheer level of sweetness. I feel like that’s always how I walk away, like, idk that guy but he sure has a kind heart. 

10/4/2018: Ok the back and forth stalling on what we’re even doing and all the associated casual dynamics have kinda killed the romance for me. like it’s cool and all but i’m done obsessing over the relationship and probably won’t be updating this anymore bc i really don’t care and continuing to write about it is just trying to make it a bigger deal to me than it really is.

10/19/2018: Nearly 4 months in and it’s still such a roller coaster, my perspective, optimism/pessimism and level of happiness change like every 48 hours. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of breaking up because we’re too different or because we overworked the dynamics of our relationship too much. Sometimes i think we’re on the verge of stepping closer because our good days really are good. I’m always surprised by how complicated every little thing is, questioning where my feelings are coming from and whether i’m either getting carried away on good days or paranoid and trust-issues-y on bad days. And there is definitely also a background kind of darkness/heaviness surrounding the fact that the more time goes by, the more i understand that i’m really not even close to being over R. But on Wednesday he and I went to Red Emma’s and then took his dog for a walk and then watched princess bride (both of our favorite childhood movie) and ended up staying up til 5-something in the morning just lying next to each other talking about bullshit. Like it wasn’t staying up all night to work out something serious or anything. I don’t even remember what we were talking about. I remember at some point he started trying to recite post malone lyrics and could not stop laughing for so long. I remember on 9/8 I wrote that i know i’ve never seen him w/ his guard down and i still usually feel like that, but then sometimes lately i think it comes down for a second and it’s always really nice and makes me think it’s worth working/waiting for. It’s understandable that he’d still have a lot of walls up when our relationship has been so rocky and it’s still in the baby stages anyways. I know he must be feeling more and more sure of us bc the way his sister treats me changed distinctly this weekend. Like she was always super nice, but now she treats me like she expects me to be around/expects to and wants to make friends, which is so nice. He’s still incredible when I get triggered. Sometimes I just suddenly can’t anymore and he’s never even hinted at the slightest inkling of being frustrated by that. 

11/4/2018: “do you love me?” “yes. i do love you. its been screaming in my head to say it every time I look at you.” “then why didn’t you get me a seltzer water?” 

11/30/2018: “I’m breaking up with you, and I want to marry you, and I love you.”

---

update: this is going to be a running/updated post for all bullshit things i think about M but should be telling no one and should absolutely not be posting on the internet. 

[chinad]

bliss in new Asus flip chromebook

Apr 10, 2018

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic. God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

Apr 6, 2018

first dreamt kill a bear. I don't want to hunt but soon I slayed it in fear of prey. then dreamt in my hometown just after wedding. I enjoy enviable sexual life with my bride, each time I never anxious but just insatiable intercourses. yesterday is our monthly cinema time with my son, woz. we watched blockbuster "ready player one". we almost missed it with fake Russian product, snow queen 3 which mimics frozen 3. we watched frozen 1 and 2 and impressed, and without hesitation we chose the snow theme movie, till 2 days before the lunar Mourning day I found we cheated by the Russian title. my son soon accepted my suggestion of change. and that's rewarding. I think "ready player one" is quite impressive in visual presentation. before the movie, I told my son my decision to put investment before deposition, in risk of CCP tyrant seizure. we never felt unease upon saving woz some pocket money via alipay's yuebao, till last Sunday we found yuebao restricting our automatic deposit, delayed more than ￥800 in cash account without profit for months, due quota restriction new CCP puppet financial regulator setup aiming to disable or malfunction the world largest fund. then I saw PRC tyrant relentlessly constrains civilian's cash flow while under table covertly leaks into its underground reservoir. I felt threatened and need to take action rather than passive been robbed. also in past months, our intended purchase, convertible chromebook, turned more dearer and scarcer on amazon China. we need response swift. my son agreed. after movie we ate hotpot near the cinema. the peanut sausage ran short, and a neighbor cheap mid aged man occupied himself unnecessary a full bowl of it against shortage. we used groupon and additional cash for more mutton. after returned to my dorm, I felt the rich meal let me energetic and delayed to sleep. I checked my purchase target monitoring and amazed by new chromebook on sale. I at once ordered it and paid by my deposit money for woz in last half year, near 2000 CNY. its so satisfying that I watched lately another episode of "the office" for completion of the wonderful lunar Mourning holiday. now last night dream is so sweet that I never know aging. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for I waited decades. grant us one more child for prosperous Eastern Asia. thx God, in this sedative morning.

Apr 2, 2018

dreamt history creation by 2 pals in three kingdoms period Chinese well known. one of them is Yuwei, with his family ie. his mother and young wife, forging his southern China country from scratch. I witness his charisma, his conquer over territory he bestowed. another guy's expanding his national border near southeastern China also in details in dream. its a sandstormy morning. last week I ripped one of zhone cms, https://agarten.in ,replace it with a tool site, a project management site. even still in experimental phrase, I already felt satisfying. my son last week installed an old famous file explorer on his android. I deleted it at once, and warn him the dangers of PRC government overtaken tool softwares. the file manager was a wonderful tool, but now manipulated by PRC government for large scale surveillance, like it purchased hundred of once perfect software tools mostly created by individuals or small enterprises, esp rooting tools. my son nodded. in night we co-operated online to assure his google voice forwarding phone enabling. but it turns out his forwarding phone consistently working for I called his google voice last year more than once, unlike my google voice never received phone call in last year, hence google require to re-verify to enable it. I told my son we should soon seek a grocer near our public spa so as not to lack fruits on our diet. I pray God grant me budget for the delicious food. my son now a considerable smart teenage, but he still hijacked by his sinful mother, who relentlessly challenged me and my parenthood. I warned my son not to frequent hospital, but last sunday soon after we returned from spa, he was arbitrarily brought by his mom left their house, left me alone updating his linux. they likely haunted eye hospital for my son's sight, on which the small woman recently fantastically obsessed. I told my son I day by day upset by Chinese teachers. they killing creativeness and smother orthodoxy. what a low moral they wholely obtained! even worsen than PRC government employee! God, dad, a new month starts yesterday, when we enjoyed downtown hostel pork steak so much. this month my credit debt again near 600 CNY. help me clear our debt and deal our daily budget lightly. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for spring 2018 just budding new life and hope of life. bring my son his enjoyed game and ready office space he will step in with affirmative. thx God dad.

Mar 23, 2018

dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline or natural giveup Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food/drug eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food/sex/drug addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers, and breed racers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and Mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like Mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside. God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, so called open policy period when PRC penniless but polite peasants adopted to work mills by Capital American buyers, on the land my ancestor bestowed. I saw my old friends here and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.

via Blogger https://ift.tt/2JB5aP8

[retrauxpunk]

i saw this bunch of asks and i’ve decided to answer all of them because fuck waiting for asks that’s why

billie jean: what do you notice more in a song - the drums or bassline?

probably the drums. this is embarrassing but i barely even know what a bassline is. don’t ask.

sweet dreams (are made of this): what’s the best dream you’ve had?

i was in the hunger games with ben whishaw. we were sort of allies. we were some of the tributes remaining toward the end of the game. we had this intense moment of eye contact in which we weren’t sure if we were going to kill/get killed by the other, and then we made out. fuck yeah.

africa: favourite 80s music video?

i agree with @cheapskate-bleeding-queer​, Dancing in the Street is really something.

every breath you take: who’s the first person your mind goes to when you hear a love song?

either my boyfriend or my ex, depending on what kind of love song it is haha

should i stay or should i go: how many languages do you speak?

one fluently, one relatively proficiently, and basic spoken knowledge for another

uptown girl: what’s your favourite book trope?

there’s too many! here are a few i like: allies fighting with sword-like weapons back to back; badass battle magic; characters deciding to make out as a way to hide their real agenda (e.g. trespassing); saving each other’s lives; cyberpunk/biopunk; urban fantasy; people who save the world/have magic powers but also have normal lives of school/work

don’t stop believin’: what’s the longest journey you’ve been on?

mmm... flying from sydney to london. jesus. an entire day. but it was business class, so it was pretty cushy ... the flight from germany to sydney felt much longer because it was in economy and the shorter flight (8) was first, and the second one (16 or some shit) was second, so really i was going a bit nuts.

i wanna dance with somebody (who loves me): who was the last person you danced with?

my boyfriend, at the paramore concert

maneater: where did you spend your last friday night?

hanging out at my boyfriend’s work, playing beer pong

jessie’s girl: what would you do if you found out your best friend was seeing your ex?

be incredibly shocked/surprised and upset and bitter ... and ask them why? and also chew out my ex too. but more angry at the best friend because they know how my relationship with the ex went and it’d be a real douchey move for them to get with them haha. ...thankfully this is very very very unlikely to happen.

born in the u.s.a.: what’s your home town like?

sunny with a beautiful harbour. very expensive in terms of housing. pretty multicultural, with white, asian, and middle eastern being the dominant groups (in descending order). lots of great food.

wake me up before you go-go: how did your last date go?

saw Early Man with my boyfriend at the cinema. it was nice. uneventful but pleasant, which is how things usually go when you’ve been together for years...

girls just want to have fun: relationship with your parents?

we have really different/conflicting views about basically everything, which is what happens when we’re from different generations and grew up in different cultures... #immigrantlife but they tried their best and love me and i love them even though it has been kinda rough

beat it: opinions on the police force?

a necessary institution, i’d rather have one than not have one, but has several serious endemic issues regardless of which culture we’re talking about

never gonna give you up: how old were you when you joined the internet?

around the time this was a meme haha :p ... around 12-13, when I got into message boards and post by post roleplaying.

faith: when was your first kiss?

15 for a peck, 17 for making out

i’m so excited: where was your first kiss?

outside my house for the peck, and in Sydney’s Hyde Park for making out

take on me: could you reach the high note?

absolutely not, but i make a dumb attempt anyway

footloose: favourite musical?

The Book of Mormon!!!!!!!

9 to 5: do you like country music?

I’m not sure. Maybe?

back in black: what makes a good rock song?

a strong beat! strength of instruments! a hot voice and good lyrics. makes me want to start drumming my fingers/tapping feet/headbanging, no matter where i am. i’m too crap at music to be able to give a better answer, so have that subjective one.

material girl: are you sentimental?

absolutely. i’ll bleed my heart all over your carpet and ruin your clothes. though i don’t know if that comes across for people who don’t know me too well?

walk this way: what was the most expensive thing you bought in the last six months?

probably concert tickets for me and my boyfriend ... either that or my Doc Martens

you shook me all night long: are you seeing anyone at the moment?

yup

thriller: favourite film genre and why?

I like quite a few, but probably action/thriller. I love good action movies, I love watching well-choreographed combat and general Cool Badassitude, and the dialogue tends to be peppered with fun humour too. Really good for suspense and engagement.

i want candy: chocolate or sweets?

Chocolate

ghostbusters: how far do you believe in the paranormal?

I don’t really, but I wouldn’t push my luck either.

the power of love: does true love exist?

absolutely! all love is true love. if it’s not true, it’s not love.

hungry like the wolf: what’s your crush’s favourite music genre?

stuff like Queen

walk like an egyptian: favourite song currently in the charts?

Lemon To A Knife Fight by the Wombats

(i’ve had) the time of my life: if you could relive any ten minutes of your life, what would you relive?

listening to Pink Floyd’s Time while on acid (the first time I’d tried either the album or the drug)

just can’t get enough: what’s your guilty pleasure?

I don’t really feel guilty about my pleasures?

i’m gonna be (500 miles): how far apart do you and your best friend live?

lmao. a 24 hour flight apart. about as far away as you can get

you spin me round (like a record): favourite modern cover of an older song?

i don’t know many, but the Scissor Sisters cover of Comfortably Numb as a disco hit is really good!

we built this city: if you were president, what would your first ruling be?

oh god uh I don’t know. but some stuff I’d like to make happen are: increasing taxes on fossil fuels, more protections for queer folk, making abortion safe and easily accessible, overhauling the sex ed curriculum in schools to include a lot more focus on consent and the nuances of consent instead of focussing purely on physical sexual health, increasing funding for mental health, OH BOY I COULD GO ON AND ON 

how will i know: do you believe everyone is deserving of love?

by default yes ... for people like ivan milat ... no ... so, yes, except in the extreme cases of people proven to be unrepentant and unwilling to reform after committing atrocities

nothing’s gonna stop us now: what’s been the biggest hurdle you’ve faced in your life so far?

either my own mental health RE being quite neurotic/obsessive, or a bad former partner who did some things that fucked me up. they’ve recently seemed to be truly sorry/empathetic though so that one at least will be getting better now. tbh they’re both getting better, so that’s nice!

come on eileen: have you ever written a song? if so, what was the genre?

i kinda wrote lyrics and had an idea for a melody for this ... some kind of bad sappy love song that would probably be in the pop rock category? oh god i’m so glad i have no further memory of it

living on a prayer: which was the song of your childhood?

if we’re talking pre-teenagerhood ... um ... I dunno! maybe ‘Sk8er Boi’ or Atomic Kitten’s ‘The Tide is High’ haha. as for my mid-teens ... Tokio Hotel’s ‘Der Letzte Tag’. late teens, it’d be ... maybe Taylor Swift’s ‘Holy Ground’.

sweet child o’ mine: describe your perfect first date.

meeting somewhere public, having good food and drink, excellent conversation and laughs, then going to my/their place and having more of the same, and making out and potentially Other Things wink nudge giggle wink wink nudge

don’t you (forget about me): is there anyone from your past that you regret cutting ties with?

No. HA. feels good to say that

eye of the tiger: favourite 80s movie?

i .................. don’t know if I have one

under pressure: give an example of a world event that occurred the year you were born.

Nelson Mandela was inaugurated as president of South Africa

with or without you: what would you value most: a relationship or a job?

oh my god i don’t fucking know. 

another one bites the dust: where did you achieve your biggest accomplishment?

what ... even was my biggest accomplishment ... I guess either in my school’s exam hall (getting a high ATAR), or on my apartment couch (finishing NaNoWriMo)

pour some sugar on me: turn ons?

oh boy, hmm: having the exact same ideological beliefs as me; a lean but toned body; Irish/Scottish/Russian accents (among several others); neck kisses; being clever; being very skilled at something (esp something with a physical dimension e.g. drawing, playing guitar, snowboarding, etc.); the right amount of confidence/bravado but only when I’m already into them (otherwise this becomes a 10000x turn-off) 

in the air tonight: do you enjoy flying?

YEAH BB

tainted love: thoughts on synthesisers/electronic drum kits/technology based music?

i have no problem with it and it can produce excellent stuff just like any older instrument

like a virgin: share a controversial opinion.

i hate avocados

karma chameleon: what do you like most about your appearance?

on good days, hair and face. otherwise, my body.

[aphroditeurl]

If I'm doing all the asks then so are you.

>.> fineeee

1. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

Play video games, I’m not gonna lie about that. 

2. What’s your favourite piece of clothing you own/owned?

I have a black dress I bought for myself a couple years ago that makes me look like a badass Bond villain. And I look sexy as all hell in it. 

3. What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?

I want to make custom dolls idk

4. What would your perfect room look like?

PINK i’m a fucking girly girl

5. How often do you play sports?

Never...I am not into sports. Watching others though is fun

6. What fictional place would you most like to go?

Diagon Alley

7. What job would you be terrible at?

Anything involving math. So I would make an awful accountant.

8. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance at winning medal for?

Being sick apparently...nah I’m pretty good at graphic design I think

9. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

I am afraid of heights so never

10. What is the most annoying habit other people have?

loud chewing, I will want to murder you I Promise

11. What job do you think you’d be good at?

Anything with animals, I have a passion for them

12. What skill would you like to master?

A different language. Being bi-lingual would be cool. I hate English. 

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on?

Oh fuck I want to travel. Even to places considered “dangerous”. I want to go everywhere, I have A NEED. I’m a sucker for those exploration videos on youtube. 

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house that you would live in for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

Firstly it would be a beach house because I love water and beaches. Secondly, it’d have at least four bedrooms, maybe six. And a full sized basement. I want it to look Magical As Fuck. For reasons. There will be an aquarium in it.

15. What’s your favourite drink?

Coke. The drink.

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?

I miss Michigan a lot. I loved it there. 

17. What songs have you completely memorized?

A lot?? too vague

18. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?

STARDEW VALLEY. Sustainable farming is sexy. 

19. What do you consider to be your best friend?

@sedris-the-meme-king

20. Are you usually early or late?

Early. Like twenty minutes early. Anxiety fuels me.

21. What pets did you have while you were growing up?

A lot of cats, a few dogs, hamsters, and a couple bunnies. I love animals.

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually want help with?

Relationship advice

23. What takes up too much of your time?

Depression 

24. What do you wish you knew more about?

Space law. Which is weird. The concept of space really scares me but it’s also a little fascinating. 

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

“is my cat ok?”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? 

Getting random texts from ppl. 

27. Who’s your go to band or artist when you cannot decide on something to listen to?

Rihanna or Halsey 

28. What’s the best way to start the day?

By sleeping in a little longer

29. What shows are you into?

Anything that’s paranormal, pretty much anything on TLC, Gordon Ramsey is Good

30. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?

@floating-in-the-dark for being a good bean 

31. What age do you wish you could permanently be?

18. That was a fun age dude. 

32. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?

13 Reasons Why, Game of Thrones, I’m petty 

33. What would be your ideal way to spent the weekend?

Video games, ice cream, kissing, things of that nature, maybe going to the movies, exploring a haunted abandoned hospital, casual things you know

34. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don’t think you could live without?

My phone

35. What’s your claim to fame?

Idk what this means???

36. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?

Dating. I’m sort of a cliche geek ok. 

37. What’s your favourite genre of book or movie?

Horror for movie and fantasy for books

38. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?

God phoning. Non-pagans won’t get this. 

39. What’s the best single day on the calendar?

The first of every month because it feels sorta refreshing

40. What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of?

Sexual education 

that’s a joke but I am also serious

41. How do you relax after a hard day of work?

I watch youtube videos and play some games, or RP

42. What was the best book or series that you’ve ever read?

The Maze Runner. Sorta corny but it was enjoyable. 

43. What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home?

California. 10/10 would go back. 

44. What is the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?

“I would blink” out of context this makes no sense but it meant a lot to me in context 

45. What is the most annoying question people ask you?

“Are you SURE you’re __ age?” I am small, I sound 12, but yes I promise I AM TWENTY

46. What could you give a 30-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?

Harry Potter at any given moment. Esp Draco Malfoy. 

47. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Tbh??? Move away to a completely new place that you have no connections in. That sounds crazy stupid but really, it was the best choice I ever made. 

48. Would you rather go hang gliding or whitewater rafting?

Whitewater rafting

49. What’s your dream car?

1967 Thunderbird bitches 

50. What’s worth spending more on to get the best?

Make-up, and bath stuff 

51. What is something that a ton of people are obsessed with but you just don’t get the point of?

Game of Thrones lmao

52. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years?

School. I can’t wait to start college in the fall. 

53. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?

UP Michigan 

54. What’s something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?

There are lot of ways to answer this. 

I want to try a ghost pepper lmao

55. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week?

I started talking to someone really sweet

56. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind so that you could experience for the first time again?

Undertale tbh

57. If all jobs had the same pay and hours, what job would you like to have?

I’d work at a graveyard no joke

58. What amazing thing did you do that no one was around to see?

Absolutely nothing my dudes

59. How different was your life one year ago?

Extremely different and I sorta miss it

60. What quirks do you have?

I wiggle my mouth from side to side when I am in thought, I tend to rub my nose randomly, I walk on the balls of my feet

61. What would you rate 10/10?

@funkypanda

62. What fad or trend do you hope comes back?

I!! Want!! 90s!! Fashion!! Back!!

63. What’s the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

anything @floating-in-the-dark has done

64. What kind of art do you enjoy most?

See above answer

65. What do you hope never changes?

Most of my friendships

66. What city would you most like to live in?

Londonnnnn 

67. What movie title best describes your life?

The Boss Baby 

68. What did you decide to do the work you are doing now?

Huh????

69. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?

Being kind to others

70. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make?

Some really weird shit dude 

71. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

UP Michigan lol

72. What is the luckiest thing that has happened to you?

Meeting my best friend 

73. Where would you rather be from?

Canada 

74. What are some things you’ve had to unlearn?

My temper, some bad habits that were formed from anxiety

75. What are you looking forward to in the coming months?

School, getting a puppy, summer

76. What website do you usually go on when you have time off?

Tumblrr

77. Where would you spend all your time if you could?

Japannnnn or South Korea

78. What is special about the place you grew up?

Everyone was a community. We all supported each other. 

79. What age do you want to live to?

100+ cause I fear death a lot

80. What are you most likely to become famous for?

The Biggest Baby Award

81. What are you absolutely determined to do?

Finish school and become a zoologist cause that’s the dream

82. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

I can code and shit????? idk

83. What do you wish you knew more about?

Space law

84. What question would you most like to know the answer to?

“will I ever be successful at anything” 

[sighfrancisco]

All the Greek pantheon asks! I was just gonna pick a few but there aren't that many

!

Aphrodite: What do you love most about yourself? fuckin uhhhhhh,,,,probably my empathy bc it really fucks me over a lot but it’s also paved the way for some of my most emotionally intimate relationships

Apollo: Do you have any talents? i’m told that i write & draw decently

Ares: What small thing makes you angry? when the toilet paper goes the wrong way

Artemis: What are you hunting for in life? happiness & some vague illusion of adventure. which used to be like. i’m gonna work in forensics and solve mysteries for a living! but these days it’s more like fuck yeah i wanna teach english & history & have a little house or apartment with people i care about & spend time with my best friends & sometimes drive to places and explore them just because i can. take ridiculous & interesting vacations. go whale-watching one day

Athena: What is/was your best school subject?it was always a tie between english and history and in college it’s definitively english lmao

Demeter: Do you miss anyone? ye

Dionysus: Do you drink alcohol? If so, what’s your beverage of choice? this is a loaded question. i’ve kinda sworn off liquor forever because of one too many Bad Nights™ and I’m not drinking at all for 60 days to prove to myself that i can. i’m gonna be a wine mom now. what /tastes/ the best to me is champagne, lol

Eros: How do you define your sexuality? (vague hand gestures, an interpretive dance, smashes a window) y'know? (i’m pan + poly)

Gaia: Where’s your favorite place in the world? my grandma’s farm in northern michigan

Hades: Have you ever had a near-death experience? lol so many

Hecate: What do you think of magic? i’m literally a witch but i also have less faith in ~magic~ than i probably should. i recognize that lots of the rituals and whatnot i do that produce results are my own will at work rather than cosmic forces but i’ve had some experiences that utterly affirmed my belief in…something else & i love things like tarot. my views on spirituality are kinda complex and in this weird mix of hyperrational and wildly superstitious so hmu for more about that if you’re curious

Helios: Do you sunburn easily? HELLA

Hephaestus: What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever made or built? i once did this painting where i took photos of this rly cool tree that a ton of ppl had carved their initials into, decoupaged it onto canvas in intervals (like, a pic of the base of the tree near the bottom, a pic of the branches at the top, etc), and painted the spaces between the photos to make a tree comprised of photos and paintings. that was p cool. similarly i once smashed a disco ball with a hammer and used the mirrored tiles in a painting (which was weirdly also of a tree lol)

Hera: Are you the jealous type?not rly? it’s more like i’m the anxious type where i’m like. they like them better than me because i am THE WORST !!!!

Hermes: Have you ever stolen anything? a single piece of candy corn and i think a fake septum ring once from this rly shitty store (i cant remember if i went through with it or not)

Hestia: Where’s your home away from home? prob also my grandma’s farm in northern michigan. or i can be cheesy and say anywhere with my pals and it would also b accurate

Hyperion: Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets. sunrises generally mean that i’ve stayed up way too late again and it’s depressing lmao

Hypnos: What was your most recent dream about? it was a sleep-paralysis fueled nightmare! i also keep having these bizarre slice of life dreams feat. @tornad001 that are literally just everyday conversations that could happen or have happened that don’t seem to hold any deep significance but have been happening since we’ve been living together this summer

Iris: What’s your favorite color palate? i like pastels a lot as well as deep shades of red

Kronos: What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever eaten? what does this……….Mean (i guess you could say anything i eat with lactose bc i’m hella lactose intolerant but i Keep Doing It)

Nemesis: What’s a time you helped deliver justice? calling CPS on someone in my own life

Nike: What’s your most recent accomplishment? tbh? a B+ in bio lab

Nyx: What’s your favorite nighttime activity? ;)

Pan: What do you do for fun? ;;)) (video games, reading, reading /fanfic/, tumblr, movies, wikipedia articles, news articles)

Persephone: What’s your favorite season of the year? fall i think. my aesthetic is dependent on chilly weather

Poseidon: What’s your favorite sea creature? killer whales are one of my Special Interests and i will ramble about them for hours if left undeterred

Rhea: What’s your favorite type of nature? anything near a body of water (ideally freshwater)

Selene: What’s your favorite phase of the moon?full, esp when it’s a harvest moon

Tartarus: What’s your personal hell? tbh i went through it a few days ago and i survived so fight me binch i’ve been to hell and back (and back to hell…and back)

Thanatos: Is there anyone you just really, really hate? yeah

Uranus: What are your zodiac signs? leo according to the old, cancer according to the new (which is more accurate)

Zeus: What do you think about thunderstorms? love em

thanks for asking!

[midnightliar]

the beautiful, luminous, inimitable @violaeade​ tagged me for 50 book questions!

1. What is your favourite book and/or book series of all time?

oh maybe everything leads to you by nina lacour! it just really gets to me

2. What is the longest book you have ever read? How many pages?

uhh idk what’s the longest harry potter book bc probably that? i dont... read books that long usually

3. What is the oldest book you have ever read? (Based on its written date)

ummm i think and then there were none by agatha christie? i dont keep track by time tbh but i dont read that many old books bc i tend to have trouble reading them

4. What is a book series that everyone else loves but you do not?

the raven cycle lol

5. What book or book series would you like to see turned into a film/ TV series?

oh god most of them? 99% of the lesbian ones for sure. percy jackson would make an excellent animated movie series imo. i’m clearly biased but tasu/teota would be great on screen. 

6. What is your favourite stand-alone book?

most of the gay ones i read are standalones and theres so many good ones... i already said everything leads to you but we are okay and you know me well are also extremely good! of fire and stars killed me as well. 

7. What is a book that you feel glad for not reading?

god. straight ones? ones that i heard are racist or homo/lesbo/bi/transphobic, but in general i’m picky abt what i read bc i don’t read that many books.

8. What is a book that you feel guilty for not reading?

i was gonna say i don’t feel guilty about not reading books i don’t like/don’t want to but that’s a lie- babe if ur reading this i am SO sorry i never finished the last chaos walking book

9. What is a book you have read that is set in your country of birth?

most of them lol that’s what i get for living in america. i read we are okay pretty recently which takes place in new york, the state i was born in, so that’s a bit more specific.

10. What is a book that you own more than one copy of?

i have 2 copies of redwall for no reason other than my high school library was selling one for a dollar so i bought it even tho i had it already. i have a couple copies of some of the a wrinkle in time books bc i got some of them as gifts a bunch. 

11. What horror book made you really scared?

omg i don’t read horror but that one skulduggery pleasant short story about bubba moon or whatever freaked me the fuck out tbh

12. What book do you passionately hate?

um i haven’t read enough terrible books to say i hate them that passionately? but i rly kinda hated trc. oh yeah i read the first c*aptive pr*nce book in hs on the recommendation of a friend and it just made me so uncomfortable the entire time i really. did not have a good time with that one and i wish i hadn’t read it

13. What is the biggest book series you have read? How many books are in it?

skulduggery pleasant! theres 9 books plus short stories i still can’t believe i read all those

14. What book gives you happy memories?

aw sabrina answered this with the flywheel by erin gough and i have to say the same bc she sent it to me for my birthday, full of annotations of thoughts and jokes she made herself AND got it signed by the author, and i’ve uhhhh never felt so loved in my life

15. What book made you cry?

oh the book thief for sure. everything leads to you made me cry a bunch while rereading it even tho its not sad? thos were love tears. that happens a lot actually.

16. What book made you laugh?

skulduggery pleasant! there’s so many good lines in that one. my dad used to always hand me a book he’d just read and tell me to read a certain chapter he found hilarious but i never read the whole book but he always found hilarious memoirs too.

17. What is your favourite book that contains an LGBTQ+ character?

lmaoo like all the books i read are gay? the abyss surrounds us/the edge of the abyss have really unique lesbian characters because they’re so angry and vindictive and dumb and interesting and DRAMATIC so that one gets a shout out

18. Have you read a book with a male protagonist? What is it?

what the fuck is that (ok i legit just finished reading when the moon was ours by anna marie mclemore tho bc my gf rec’d it and it was p good)

19. Have you read a book set on another planet? What is it?

does fantasy count? bc then of fire and stars. uhh chaos walking is on a new planet. a wrinkle in time involves other planets too! wow i’m crushing this one

20. Have you ever been glad to not finish a series? Which?

the raven cycle lol i thought it was a finished trilogy when i started the first book so i just never read the last one and i am so relieved

21. Have you ever read a book series because you were pressured?

not really? i don’t really feel pressure, i value recommendations from my girlfriend friends way more than things that are trending or popular. i’ve read a couple that i blindly picked from internet lists that i didn’t care for tho but that was really a while ago

22. What famous author have you not read any books by?

pretty much any author we were supposed to read in high school. any classic or even modern famous author i probably haven’t read. i’ve read like a dozen books ever

23. Who is your favourite author of all time?

tbh nina lacour is really up there. when i was really young it was definitely gail carson levine. i rly loved anne ursu’s books as well.

24. How many bookshelves do you own?

only one! and a bunch of boxes that i never unpacked after we moved like 3 years ago. my mom wants to put a big wall bookshelf in our house somewhere bc this one didn’t come with any like our last house did but who knows if that’ll happen.

25. How many books do you own?

are u trying to make me count?

26. What is your favourite non-fiction book?

ohhh i don’t read much of this genre. i always avoided it as a kid and i’ve been meaning to get into it more but i haven’t yet. i’m really looking forward to reading a sally ride biography tho

27. What is your favourite children’s/middle-grade book?

the chronus chronicles by anne ursu were my JAM in elementary/middle school omg. i also really loved the may bird series which i didn’t read until high school.

28. What is your next book on your TBR?

i’m about to start georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit finally! my gf bought me 10 things i can see from here and i love her so whenever that arrive i’m probably gonna devour that. i want to reread a wrinkle in time soon since the trailer comes out this weekend! plus a million others

29. What book are you currently reading?

i literally just finished when the moon was ours which felt like it took me ten years to read and i haven’t started another yet but it’ll be georgia peaches bc thats the other one i got from the library and i already had to renew them haha

30. What book are you planning on buying next?

um this old west lesbian novel called backwards to oregon! i’ve been craving westerns lately but as always i’m also craving gay content

31. What was the cheapest book you bought?

i used to buy a ton of old paperbacks, usually goofy looking sf or fantasy novels from library sales for dollars or quarters so definitely those.

32. What was the most expensive book you bought?

i can tell u the most expensive book i got for free was a beautiful bound collection of hg wells stories that i just got from some book at bea before it was bookcon lol

ones i actually paid for... do art books count??

33. What is a book you read after seeing the movie/ TV series?

nah i usually have no intention of reading the book if i watched the show/movie first

34. What is the newest book you have bought?

akdjghksjgh a lesbian western novella called from the boots up for a few bucks on kindle

35. What three books are you most looking forward to reading this year?

the rest of the gay books i’ve bought but haven’t read yet! not your sidekick and labyrinth lost, i’m VERY excited to reread a wrinkle in time and i also really want to read stone butch blues

36. What is a book you love that has a terrible trope? (Love triangle, etc)

crush by sr silcox has the cutest lesbian teen summer romance AND one them is secretly a rock star avoiding her fame bc her controlling dad was turning into HIS dream instead of HERS akdjghksdjgh its fantastic i adored it

37. Have you read a book in a different language? What was it?

oh no i’m dumb as hell

38. What is a book you’ve read that is set in a time period before you were born?

for some reason dave at night by gail carson levine popped into my head first? that was my favorite as a kid and i reread it all the time and i think it took place in the 20s or 30s with all that good good jazz shit

39. What book offended you?

hm not sure how to answer this one

40. What is the weirdest book you have read?

idk the may bird series was pretty weird. gone by michael grant? i read the first for a high school book club and i just could not get into it or understand it even a little

41. What is your favourite duology?

ditty the abyss surrounds us & the edge of the abyss !!

42. What is your favourite trilogy?

wow i really haven’t read that many trilogies esp ones i loved. i guess may bird or the chronus chronicles then!

43. What book did you buy because of its cover?

the maze runner! also bc i heard it was good but i hated that book so

44. What is a book that you love, but has a terrible cover?

honestly i can’t think of one rn

45. Do you own a poetry anthology? What is your favourite poem from it?

nope! i also hated poetry as a kid and have only tried to get into it recently. i have a book of sappho’s fragments and i want to get tracy k smith from the library but thats about it

46. Do you own any colouring books based off other books?

nope

47. Do you own any historical fiction?

thats possible

48. What book made you angry?

the maze runner really did?? for some reason and i don’t get mad that much but it just really had me steamin. sabrina also said grasshopper jungle and i’m inclined to say same lmao. i haven’t read it but seeing all the lesbophobia in not otherwise specified recently made me really mad and also upset

49. What book has inspired you?

aw inspired is a serious word to throw around. the miseducation of cameron post, idk if it “inspired” me but it was my first lesbian novel and that really did a lot for me.

50. What book got you into reading?

i think it was a wrinkle in time! or maybe roald dahl books before that, but a wrinkle in time was definitely up there, and maybe the shadow thieves by anne ursu

i’m tagging @reading-takes-you-places and @mywomensworld and anyone who wants to! i don’t talk to many people here but if you follow me and want to, go for it!