#benzillar

[billingz]

@warrenzh @benzillar

[chinad]

bliss in new Asus flip chromebook

Apr 10, 2018

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic. God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

Apr 6, 2018

first dreamt kill a bear. I don't want to hunt but soon I slayed it in fear of prey. then dreamt in my hometown just after wedding. I enjoy enviable sexual life with my bride, each time I never anxious but just insatiable intercourses. yesterday is our monthly cinema time with my son, woz. we watched blockbuster "ready player one". we almost missed it with fake Russian product, snow queen 3 which mimics frozen 3. we watched frozen 1 and 2 and impressed, and without hesitation we chose the snow theme movie, till 2 days before the lunar Mourning day I found we cheated by the Russian title. my son soon accepted my suggestion of change. and that's rewarding. I think "ready player one" is quite impressive in visual presentation. before the movie, I told my son my decision to put investment before deposition, in risk of CCP tyrant seizure. we never felt unease upon saving woz some pocket money via alipay's yuebao, till last Sunday we found yuebao restricting our automatic deposit, delayed more than ￥800 in cash account without profit for months, due quota restriction new CCP puppet financial regulator setup aiming to disable or malfunction the world largest fund. then I saw PRC tyrant relentlessly constrains civilian's cash flow while under table covertly leaks into its underground reservoir. I felt threatened and need to take action rather than passive been robbed. also in past months, our intended purchase, convertible chromebook, turned more dearer and scarcer on amazon China. we need response swift. my son agreed. after movie we ate hotpot near the cinema. the peanut sausage ran short, and a neighbor cheap mid aged man occupied himself unnecessary a full bowl of it against shortage. we used groupon and additional cash for more mutton. after returned to my dorm, I felt the rich meal let me energetic and delayed to sleep. I checked my purchase target monitoring and amazed by new chromebook on sale. I at once ordered it and paid by my deposit money for woz in last half year, near 2000 CNY. its so satisfying that I watched lately another episode of "the office" for completion of the wonderful lunar Mourning holiday. now last night dream is so sweet that I never know aging. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for I waited decades. grant us one more child for prosperous Eastern Asia. thx God, in this sedative morning.

Apr 2, 2018

dreamt history creation by 2 pals in three kingdoms period Chinese well known. one of them is Yuwei, with his family ie. his mother and young wife, forging his southern China country from scratch. I witness his charisma, his conquer over territory he bestowed. another guy's expanding his national border near southeastern China also in details in dream. its a sandstormy morning. last week I ripped one of zhone cms, https://agarten.in ,replace it with a tool site, a project management site. even still in experimental phrase, I already felt satisfying. my son last week installed an old famous file explorer on his android. I deleted it at once, and warn him the dangers of PRC government overtaken tool softwares. the file manager was a wonderful tool, but now manipulated by PRC government for large scale surveillance, like it purchased hundred of once perfect software tools mostly created by individuals or small enterprises, esp rooting tools. my son nodded. in night we co-operated online to assure his google voice forwarding phone enabling. but it turns out his forwarding phone consistently working for I called his google voice last year more than once, unlike my google voice never received phone call in last year, hence google require to re-verify to enable it. I told my son we should soon seek a grocer near our public spa so as not to lack fruits on our diet. I pray God grant me budget for the delicious food. my son now a considerable smart teenage, but he still hijacked by his sinful mother, who relentlessly challenged me and my parenthood. I warned my son not to frequent hospital, but last sunday soon after we returned from spa, he was arbitrarily brought by his mom left their house, left me alone updating his linux. they likely haunted eye hospital for my son's sight, on which the small woman recently fantastically obsessed. I told my son I day by day upset by Chinese teachers. they killing creativeness and smother orthodoxy. what a low moral they wholely obtained! even worsen than PRC government employee! God, dad, a new month starts yesterday, when we enjoyed downtown hostel pork steak so much. this month my credit debt again near 600 CNY. help me clear our debt and deal our daily budget lightly. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for spring 2018 just budding new life and hope of life. bring my son his enjoyed game and ready office space he will step in with affirmative. thx God dad.

Mar 23, 2018

dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline or natural giveup Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food/drug eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food/sex/drug addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers, and breed racers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and Mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like Mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside. God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, so called open policy period when PRC penniless but polite peasants adopted to work mills by Capital American buyers, on the land my ancestor bestowed. I saw my old friends here and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.

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[chinad]

rattling rats from PRC surveillance.

Sep 15, 2018

these days pestered by upper floor's rats a lot. they had access to PRC telecom's account administration and frequently closed my Internet connection. since last week it totally shutdown my Internet after they failed to intercept my vpn traffic. in 2 days my dorm fiber optics broken, I had to rely on my mobile cellular data. at first I thought it would soon resume. later I thought might be I forgot to hand over Internet fee due to busy workload around salary day this month. waited to Monday I recharged my dorm Internet and found it wasn't caused by my account deficit. my account valid still cut out of service by PRC Internet cop. late Monday my fiber optics network restored after filed connection failure complain. in the harsh I bought my son a second mobile, a product of HTC, Taiwanese digital producer, for the price too attractive. after broke neck looking forward twice, first time a cheap bolt version then replaced our order to HTC 10 for popularity and max compatibility, we got it. then misled by online developer's community, I upgraded is OS to android 8 and unable to unlock its boot loader. I tried all means, in wilder sought for replace its verizon bundled OS with custom rom which easier and user friendly. after so many tries, I finally turned it brick when trying flash its boot loader. after nearly half month relentlessly sought settling it, now I had to wait the vendor repair it in another half month. this is a peaceful sunny morning. it's not too bad, isn't it, God dad, after so many best buy in this Summer and Autumn? I felt so bounty with these equipment and ready tools. in every sense of office and warehouse, I had it. this month also saw my younger brother sent us moon cake when lunar Mourning Day coming. I shared some with my concerned people around the dorm. it's bountiful, too. I also talked first time to my nephew, ie. second son of my 2nd elder brother, since his marriage broken and refused female in his life as his mom rumored when a year before my elder sisters shared their lunar Spring festival with us. my elder brother carefully protected his dear son not to hurt by reckless chatter, but this time he allowed me talked with his innocent kid. I urged him not to give up enjoying life, material living. I demonstrated my workspace I gathered in my half life, with my recent satisfactory. my nephew listened a lot, admitted his continue efforts to carry on family life. I also told my elder sister my complacent upon this year's purchases. I fearless under espionage around trying paralyze my workspace, humiliated me by torn apart my vpn and secure web. God dad, the rats on upper floor made relentlessly noise when I worked. rid me off the hazard sooner. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan. bring me sooner my new family and house. grant us, esp my concerned son, woz, his enjoyable school experience. violent dark web of PRC trying these days to afraid me, let them fear, scatter their mob. God dad, save us in faith securer.

Aug 27, 2018

dreamed in my hometown I likely in my vacation. the village driver, the only son of passed carpenter, asked me to find my younger brother to help him drive for an event. I open my proud book I reading which full of symbols and very precious legacy, to search my younger brother's phone number. it soon settled and all happy with that. my brother in dream already a nearly millionaire with his mills. the dream very vivid after I got up. I intended to blog it at once around 6am. but the upper floor's insane PRC surveillance, likely a freaky, made sounds warned me the under skin espionage, so I would rather wait. the state backed agent not only surveillance me, but also every chances attempted to terrify me with its psychotic: recklessly closely approaching me and coercing me with relentless noises it can make on the thin sensitive floor with chair, stride, nail, bump etc at every synchronic moments beside wall. last week we refreshed with my younger brother's loan for monthly cinema and dine out. he previously attempted to detain my help cry, refused twice my mobile calls when I tried to change our broadband capacity, which requests ï¿¥500 but in fact that's dirty cheat from unqualified chinatel staff while in its official office next week the crew girl charges free to change our plan for 200MB/s within a data bundle discounts to 82CNY/mon includes mobile data limitless. my mean brother each time reluctant to draw his purse for me, usually in cause not to admit my investment or deluxe lifestyle. I had previously determined to carry out the data plan change on my own. so when he buzzed back claiming he had been accompanying his son to park and missed my calls, I told him nothing special. but he was listening, so I told him my story: my son's mobile 4G data plan deficits in his morning exercise while playing with his pals outdoors and I intending upgrade to speeder broadband for the sake of modern fiber optic broadband and time saving on internet time lapse. he almost defied it in hurry to close talk to drive. returned to dorm, I felt I hardly cope the expenditure with my poor salary. so I messaged him he can loan us ï¿¥800 as he previously admitted to help me repair my erode tooth base. he replied he only responsible for my living, not my other costs. I waited a night. next day I sms him in rage about our ancestor's legendary: Ming Dynasty's 1st prince tried to use imperative force to restrain his blood sibling, killing family love with ruling power, which only resulted in disastrous himself suicide in Royal city he inherited from his grandpa, Founder of Ming Dynasty, with his all fondness and fidelity. I didn't expected reply nor reward. but next next day when I search all means to pay groupon for my son monthly cinema and dine out, I found my brother already remit us 1000 CNY 2 days ago. I had previously check my financial account several times and never gained. so I doubting if my brother aid's arrival date hacked by state intelligent agency, just trying defying power of my persuading and prophet. after all, the ï¿¥1000 let us so plenty in entertainment and business capable: I renewed zho.io for 2 more years with our domain registrar, equip myself another ssd of 128GB for scenarios like copying larger file fat32 forbidden. It's just too wonderful to be constrained in scarcity. last weekend, I also overnight worked out to switch our old chromebox OS from chromeOS of google to open source chromiumOS, which adorably native supports Android apps, even google play store. Sunday night I non-break 6 hours to re-flash my son's new zonfone 3 with custom rom world developers contributed, after found previous OS let down chinatel gsm calling and sms. even finally I didn't fix sms and calling failure, but LTE data at least working, allowing us making full potential of our new data plan with chinatel: no limit of data! and my son's wifi heavily under PRC surveillance attacks, almost all internet traffic through the router disabled vpn. we badly sought auxiliary channel to evade deadly blockage in falling PRC wasteland cyberspace. God dad, bring us sooner our viable work space, secure our growth independently, out of entrenched by state backed hackers. bring me sooner my Royal China for relieve all trapped Chinese in felling PRC. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for unites Japan and China after turbulent world war 2, for ambitions 2 nations manifested in centuries, in tears, glories an proud, in likage of language. grant our workload meaningful and intact through ruin of PRC dictation, rampant fires of national revolts in insanely depressed and depravity.

Aug 17, 2018

dreamed my university era artist friend, Benba Chungdak. at first with his friend Li Moufeng, in the campus I familiared. then in Benba's house or my house we at leisure. my son joined our conversation. Benba in dream now a well know artist. we talked a lot. my son trusted our guest and learned. my dorm internet under a new wave of surveillance and breakin attempts. I already gave up router but client, which also sometimes unstable. new weekend arriving, there is a new blockbuster PRC granted to import, Antman 2. my son chose it from 2 other optional USA films on show recently. he also delayed my invitation to visit my dorm this weekend, rather he will invite his peer into his house, likely for gaming and entertainment. It's a cool morning. wardless web turns so hard to archive now. I more and more speechless now, amid hardship tyrant PRC exerts upon my living sphere. there are more state intelligent agents in QRRS Dorm surrounding my room here to surveillance me 7*24, costly on PRC fragile totalitarian treasury. God dad, how long we will wait for the overturn, I in faith of the future out of burning campfires among insanely pressed domestic nations. in bitter reality, I hope it fosters revolution rips us off the poorly endangered dictation. bring me sooner my Royal China. my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, come and overturn my prison our enemies engulfed. live us freedom, so to China bitchy mob, jobless riot. game changer, Dad God, let out the active agenda for the sake of better China. thx God, survivor is U.S.

Aug 12, 2018

last night watched a talk show of Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. his easygoing charactor deeply touched me. turth of life, of fortune, of mission, expand in front of me. in dawn dream, I worked for him, then in army, both reveals truth, or secret of success, course inchangeable. aging let me harder now to memorize dream, but its scenario conforts me. it's a boring morning. the ugly lesbian again lingered in the shabby neighbor room chattering, pretending she had a job there. the whole dorm administrative team moved from their offices seperate into the dorm, mimic my office in dorm. they can't believe they doomed to lose their jobs. their cheap copycat deprives their means of living. they are all thieves in fact, or robbery of innocent. the room in my upper direct floor likely occupied by state backed intelligent agent. they constantly made noise in key situations trying to coerce me. my new chromebox frequently encountered abnormal quit, likely hacked by PRC government online. my son last night just returned from his mom's hometown journey. they visited again the woman's relatives in their hometown, a small town hours away by train. I hope my son enjoy it but affraid he was hijacked by his stupid mom in fact. hours later I will reunite him for lunching out and shower in spa weekly. my new chromebox not only securer, but largely changed my workflow and efficiency. I now consume news most of workday, rather than prevously only in the begining of moring, restricted by portable device for desktop windows might fail me in its insecure. last night I check my alipay credit, found my installment total near ï¿¥900, which much a relief for my monthly return alipay ï¿¥1300 and stumbled about uncommon expenditure. made clear of debt base, I immediately recharged our mobiles fee, around 300 CNY. God dad, lift my dependence on my local loaner, who might turning reluctant. grant us a richer salary this month for I due to pay some extra bills including medicine, clothes, etc. secure my worksapce with findings, revealing truth our mission concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for ease of living. let me stay in self-contain upon life stream and social motivation. guarantee my cyberspace publishing booming and plenty of self-rely.

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[chinad]

in thick dirt.

Jan 13, 2018

last night dirty spying eyes pestered me a lot. I saw lots of sexual scenarios, esp my familiar individuals around me, like dorm canteen operative woman, a staff of the canteen to whom my laundry outsourced. Its normal dusk when I went to canteen. When I felt good I asked some wine from the operative woman & handed over ￥5 as reward. I just want to be joyful & sharing my gratitude. Then sexual emotion likely aroused in the dorm canteen, esp in the 2 women. After dinner I went to joy as usual. On the road I saw lots of sexual scenes mindfully I once experienced when in doomed love which broke me up back to 2001 when I left Qiqihar to Nankai Univ, Tianjin, seeking my master degree. I know mostly women there love me, and I sometimes inspired by them. But I dislike unreal sex esp out of my loved one. I always pray for my peaceful soul partner, not indecent ones. That heaps of unblessed illusions reminded me this week an elder man I didn't know approached me in my dusk jog twice. He likely the husband of an elder woman who frequented me in my jog and some cases when I on way to visit my son 3 bus stop away. Every time she rode a bike. I at once thought in her elder what business can she have for such a busy route. Especially a time on my way to visit my son, she rested aside street and acquainted me. I just wonder how she made a living wilder around the street. I quit curiosity at once, as none of my business in that moment of probing mind. Now I'm almost sure that the insane elder woman in her show cheating me out her stalking me. Each time she talked to me, her husband, the old gay would appeared in my jog and trying talk to me, but I just reckoned him among QRRS workers once known me for I worked once in their factories soon after I employed, and never lingered more in my mind as unpleasant nod. Now I know the man's real ID. In this week after the insane woman acquaintance on her evasive riding away in my jog, the man stealthily pushed his way aside me arbitrarily, each time in dark area of my route. First time he claimed he noticed me watching my watch, which I never did. I mistaken him as passenger ask for time, so I search my pants pocket for watch to help me, the coward at once exiled, likely thought weapons in my pocket. After 2 days disappeared, he approached me again in front of QRRS square, claimed he noticed my usual route against normal people's there exercise, trying selling his research of me, or proof of his stalking. I just noticed aside a car turning around and the gay shamed then scattered again. I never looked him nor look back. The dirty illusive scenes all likely exerted by the sinful couples, they abused my well behavior. From my poor mother's grass root, I always resolved for poor diligent women, but didn't know the difference between normal elder woman's life, and those of out of shape. Last night I struggled to escape the fallen & dishonored, till I research my chromebook's replacement, new chromebook with android apps. I found amazon China selling this kind of products usually blocked within PRC. In the night I dreamt a lot purchasing the 2 notebooks for my son & my own notebook evolvement. I dreamt fought in sea with 2 battleship with same name derived from new chromebook I found at the e-commercial website. I saw fighting area on their functional dissected deck. When my son & I almost purchased the notebook, I woke up for the emptiness of wanting. God, dad, grant us sooner to have new set of chromebook for our workspace. Bring me sooner my Royal China, esp Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan. Grant us sanctum of love & privacy. Put self-esteem among people I concerned. In the lunar new year eve, grant us securer ownership over our adorable domains, ie renewal.

Jan 4, 2018

dreamt of Elon Musk, or Chinese version of Musk. he interviewed us from job applicant. then we take care of his family: his wife and his only son. an older staff also attending his family. his house in a lofty mountainous architecture, we have to clime in risk to reach it. when we returned to his house, the old staff throw Musk's boy onto a floating cushion, for no other shortcut to transport the kid bare hand in the harsh environment. even dangerous but the boy safely landed onto his house. Musk also challenged us with his famous product design. last night a bit relentless. after dinner in canteen, I first time felt hungry & dorm gate snack vendor out of service. so I bought myself a bread and ate it deliciously after dusk jog & watching TV in my dorm. then I reviewed recent talk to my 2nd elder sister. how she hated me & faked orthodox. I told her about world food crisis report online, she at once responded if I take pills recently. last time decade ago she forced me into asylum with plot with my other siblings, ignored dedicated cares healing. she is a coward, not only she married with a beast and suffered regret all life, also she currently trying push our niece into marriage with her nephew who likely a poor gay. she found her family doomed then tried her best to help attending my kid brother's first son, who turned out much less educated, and left her second son, also a cheap soul, followed my kid brother and successfully earning a life in southern China as my kid brother, and seized himself a tall girl as trophy wife from peasants labor flood there. she consumed my old family so many credit & merit to save her cheap family she once hopelessly sold herself into when she getting old & dependent to my eldest sister who committed suicide in her 30' partially caused by the kid sister who stayed awkwardly in my eldest sister's house after her senior middle school my parents hardly supported. she totally a betrayer & cowardice. then I reviewed all my brilliance lightened so many people in my living sphere, esp my home town villagers, my siblings, our relatives. my powerful influence was a gift of my era, my national atmosphere in which we believe in growth, scientific, and moral uprising under God's shine, ie. Christian, out of people's self-esteem. I saw society mindset and its efforts in molding reality for generations, and my development as the chosen. I review my failing siblings and praying forgiveness, exactly for their painful giving: hurt in guise. I reviewing love of my 3rd elder sister since childhood put me in peace so many decades. our road towards independence past and ahead. God dad, yesterday I almost first time felt panic of hunger. grant me anxious free upon food security. fed me with clean food & safe life. bring me sooner my Royal China and new family in which I likely bring one more child. God dad, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko from Japan, when it matters us. dad, grant us a peaceful and merry lunar new year.

Jan 1, 2018

first dreamt in school. the subject of experiment is to distill starch from stem, for final bean curd or jelly separated from paper tissue. then found I was studying my Doctor degree course. my old family members mostly proud of me. I likely in vacation and visiting my old family's relatives at hometown, Zhudajiu village or local municipal, Wuxue. then found my purse missing. I was very concerned. then my 2 elder sisters help me search in fields for it. we exam carefully every inch of earth, hoping find it back. I was so distressed that I woke up for it and found at once I didn't miss it, but now I can't figure out how my property safe in reality while when I just exit from dream, I know dreamy concern dissolved. This is first day of 2018. after 3 hours I will bring my son to dine out in Qiqihar downtown via groupon and aid financially by alipay credit. the holiday approached so quietly that I didn't prepare. I barely borrow ￥150 for usual weekend reuniting my son from QRRS Dorm canteen. after found my mistake, I search web carefully using the virtual credit to buy service online to make ends meet. in half day I setup alipay, Meituan on my raspberry pi and ordered 3 meals in cyberspace. yesterday we dined dico's franchise. on bus I prayed God allowing our coupon working and our holiday won't run short of cash. when we got there, there were not crowd. our groupon handled perfectly. we enjoy the meal so much. in fact, my deficit of meat healed quickly. I told my son Warren Buffett advises that youth should refrain from debt, and how Taiwan people inspire me, including dico's service. I urged him we are blessed to visit the franchise more frequent for it's just in its wane due to PRC economic hard problem, and eroded customer base among both richer Chinese and average Chinese family, for expenditure power just wears away in sinking PRC. I felt lucky to be served by the fast food chain in time when it's still graceful, and sale girls still so decent. I also told my son how I satisfied by my charity activity to offer a laid-off motorcycle worker begging for his hard life alongside street, on way my visiting my son, with ￥5: how its cost efficient & my emotional sanctified. after luncheon, we hangout in RT-Mart for my shampoo & toothpaste. my son definitely refused buying goods for him. so we only spend about 60 CNY there, among heavy carts and long queue of people at checkout. dad God, this week I will arrange installment with alipay credit. promise us smooth operation, grant us to complete paying back credit in time in coming year 2018. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my lonely post mid age. grant us more offspring, esp Billing Zhu 's role in anticipated capable of billing, harmony with the Holy. God dad, in this pale morning, You ignite me with this post, let 2018 burning brighter & enlightened.

Dec 25, 2017

dreamt at my hometown village my passed mother sent me among other new enrolled undergraduates into college. my 2nd elder sister also prepared my package at home. there were near dozen of youth passed the entrance exam & enrolled. my nephew, ie. my 2nd elder brother's first son, also the lucky one. I query the richer family's kid, if he travel by airline. most kid will go to their campus via train, while I already had experience by air with my son recent years which let me proud, but I likely took train for poor economy. most of the village kids carried rice in bag. my family also prepared me rice in bag for dispatching, but I managed to persuade my relatives gave up for campus canteen does offer the food. it's touching moment for my elder brother's children never complete their senior education in reality. This is a cloudy morning. I at first felt gloomy, for last week I refrained from my son's anticipated joy of new SWAT suit, and a new pair of boots amid our cyber shopping. but my son likely didn't feel it, at least he didn't refute the spitting coward, the grandma's scorn of coat's qualifies being heavier from put on at once the new clothes' arrival, and also his new boots didn't put on right & sluggy for he didn't leave the high ankle standing, likely his mom & grandma refused guiding him. our only meal together in a week, in the downtown hotel restaurant, also disappointing for it cheatingly remove our once ordered dish with rich meat, replaced with poor quality & quantity meat, after some relentless exchange viewpoint upon our insisted tips for the gorgeous dining hall & cuisine in months. that reminded me time to shift away now that our tips left the hotel boss at a loss. but fortunately our salon buzzed in half hour ago, the shop owner settled our missing renewal in July & admit our membership extends nearly 5 months, values ￥200 after dispute arose last week. that affirms my faith in goodness, understandability of hearts. God, dad, even this month salary removed near ￥400 from usual standard, I still believe year end bonus will surprise me. now new year day of 2018 just a week away, and this wonderful christmas, dad God, reinforce us with plentiness and supportive, remove vain in our materialism seasonal heart. grant me treating my son in next weekend KFC or Mcdonald's or Dico's. shelter us from needy & wanting, instead warm us by powerful & functional of our new gears, esp from US & google. thx Dad.

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[chinad]

message & revenge arriving endless shinny.

Aug 22, 2017

This morning napped on chair before breakfast and delayed and avoided breakfast in dorm canteen. I dreamt long time secret chaser of my dad's voiceless life coach: the husband of my mom's close friend, also her niece under surname, Hu. the man over decades been cadre of his village and executed CCP planned parenting decades but he bred more than 6 children, contrary to planned parenting policy, just attempted to copy and overwrite my dad's glories. I have sibling of 6, that's long time the source of relentless hatred of the chaser of my dad as moral director. he sent his first son to CCP army in western China and always boasted bribery army leader with local feather food, via long distance parcel express. when my dad passed, the village cadre first hand attended my dad's funeral and on air joined my phone call, told me I needn't return to see my dad's bury, after my mom's dubious mourning voice in the phone some twenty hours after my dad left us. he chased my dad hard and attracted most of my old family, sometimes includes me, by his cordiality. he must uncomfort in front of my dad, his shinny hero, or mirror of his sinful, his life's meaning. yesterday long time waited salary released. no more and no less ￥3227. within half hour I dispatched and solved it. I managed paid credit debt less to spare to pay more local debtee, dorm canteen operator who claimed in urgent expenditure. I didn't know if they satisfied for when I went to return money, they absent and his helping dad there accepted. God dad, I tending asking my kid brother to loan me to buy this month medicines. he long time attracted by the cadre relative, and envied my dad's glories. he even hated me under God's shine. in my first call back after my dad's passed by, he talked to me and seemingly hardly hide his relief. now he cover my boarding, ￥700 *13 yearly and hated cost even a dime more for my hard credit debt crisis. he took over my all credit cards and then told me he lost all of them. dad God, copycat or hidden enemies, graceless cheap souls, why it hurt us, dad, for they humiliate us? manifest me more on creativeness and sin of stealth. God, dad, my startup, zhone publication online bundled with 21 adorable domains, likely starts its life from my self-prove against my asylum trap. I never expected that, mental disorder after broken heart, or sleepless nights. my world ruined after the record of humiliating. I told my son's mom when I left the asylum 3rd time and claimed my only job since then would be my blog, my murmur of my meaningful universe. now it all brought about. and enemies of zhone feared. dad God, let justice and revenge in time to wash me, cleanse my glory of dents and dusts. dad, even I don't promise killings, I do promise righteous weightless baptism.

Aug 19, 2017

this is a sunny morning. I put my quilt outside for sunburn, while since workload I preparing for coming salary. this month I borrowed near ￥800 from dorm canteen. and the operative woman urged me to return my debt more for they are in urgency to make use of it. I tried once to contact my elder sister for aid but so far didn't connect successfully. last Wednesday after I made full backup of zhone publication online, I walked to visit my son midnight, in pains of not attend him so long in my solitary, against risk of unhealthy tendency the dark world trying assert on him. my son calm heard my fear and soundly chose maintain our current life unchanged, except my purposed new weekend reunion once a week, from 2 visits weekly. its the first new routine in place and now I still penniless. in the week the dorm lan administrative attempted to bring down my vpn and in 2 days I barely surfing freedom web. so I prepared for harshed surveillance, installing windows client which more robust and workable as new hub of connectivities. God, dad, I'm in such a pitiful situation that I totally under your mercy. help us and ensure our ward free web. this week passed smoothly, lest my bothering of looking out for my son's presence, except now when I waiting for financial support to fetch him for monthly reunion in my dorm. dad God, sinking PRC step by step tighten rein over overseas purchase, among which my domain investment endangered for our registrar chosen godaddy against PRC's lawless tyrant seizure. now they put alipay and tenpay, Chinese most domineer online payment tools, under its account, not only for monetary profit but also for its political advantage. my 21 domain renewal also heavier burden in shrinking civilian income nowadays PRC. dad, whatever is its fate with my namespace accompanies me decade, I choose abide with your putting me on the holy road of commitment and joys. dad God, 2017 summer now turns drier and crisp, golden moment in northeastern China under siberia. God dad, my job and agenda fulfilled so well that I linger here with thankfulness. guide me with larger target and brighter goal in time for achievement brought out by our endeavors already, esp by my son, woz's. in weeks he will step into his junior middle school. in less promising PRC education system, what I can expect him out of rat race among cheap young Chinese? dad God, cater to him, Hope of China, to expertise of academy and physical skills. his video game skill quite considerable adequate, while his eyesight suffers. protect him from aimless and tasteless. thx, Father.

Aug 9, 2017

dreamt among my old family in my hometown gathering. my youngest elder sister told me my nephew, ie. my passed eldest sister's first son, least person in my relatives capable of academy, also improving English by learning from his foreign clients, aside my eldest brother's son who almost mastered English in his self-employed work in southern China. my nephew previously almost a hooligan in local factory. now he owned a small business and totally self-taught English and MBA, while the other nephew graduated from a common college and contacting English during promoting his uncle, my younger brother's company website, faezrland.net, and engaged in sharpening it in career. I astonished by relation between my old family and English, likely since my passed dad once worked under invading Japanese army occupied our mountain and demanded labor for kitchen fire. In dream I felt urgency to boost my son's English skill sooner, with blessing tools we now had esp fenceless web. today is my 2nd day employing new routine which seeking avoid sleepiness in morning by offering free morning nap instead. previously I arranged reading news in morning but mostly very sleepy and miserable in buffeting mind exhaust. now I shift rss reading to noon after lunch. after breakfast I just turning on radio and shifted myself to bed as will. my job now mostly concerning reading, watching, ie. informative process. quality of sober time matters more than quantity of time available, so I afford more napping and rest before jumping into work space. God, recent kodi brings so many qualified source of video and audio online, I felt so rich on our stock of information. promise us the viable of our ward free web, shift our focus from method of acquiring to quality of intelligence on which we enjoyed and worked so much. dad God, coming weekend my purse is empty while I try hard to prepare my son, woz, monthly cinema experience in his boring summer vacation. aid us toward the goal. drift our hard time in sinking PRC economy to new phrase of enjoyable staying alive or survival. bring my investment rewarding. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for better management of my Royal China. thank you, Father.

Aug 5, 2017

first dreamt likely before graduation when we visited a temple. I got vision that wisdom like underground water resource, connected among different lakes and pools below. I talked with a nun and saw complicated world view. then we packaging for leave the campus after graduation. Xiao Jindong, my lower berth schoolmate committed suicide in his 30s' for poverty and jobless after graduate and constrained lived on land of his old parents in rural, intended to sent his package via railway and his own traveled among common travelers. I liked traveling with my schoolmates and trying persuade Xiao join us for companions. after nearly a week drizzles, it now left cloudy. yesterday my kid brother buzzed in after near a month after I scorned him for his mean and comtempt to me, refusing loan me ￥200 for raspberry pi, he approached for affirming that I still boarding in dorm canteen, and pay due to the small business after months delay. I guessed there must be some good news there in his life, otherwise he wouldn't be so generous. for penniless I again begged canteen woman for loan to support my dining out my son weekends. she in surprise and asked me to turn in on Saturday when I asked her in Friday lunch. last Wednesday godaddy hosting support team buzzed me for my site infected by malware, I called back and talked twice with them. a man then a female staff received my call online. we talked about half hour, roughly made my claim heard that I was helpless and trust them to deal with possible intrusion and aftermath fixation, all with my poor English. next day my infected web app, forum at http://bbs.zhuson.com , updated to newest version when its due according the app's official blog a month ago but strangely untouched and vulnerable in most July. I doubt why godaddy lost control so long but still I trusted them till this outbreak led them to fix. now with sounder update, I felt much securer and relaxed. after returned to bed, dream still in family gathering. I persuade some pals among my relatives to loan me, telling them about my investment, esp 21 domains, and booming future.

2017 summer in Qiqihar, northeastern China brings quite some cloudy days and rains. here QRRS Dorm in morning drizzle and wet houses. here the canteen view.

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[be21zh]

Dec 15, 2018

dreamt my passed mom rescue my education again. she visited my enhancement class and entrusted me not gave up. my sinful cousin, ie first grandson of my grandpa, also appeared among parents of high education seekers. my mother prayed for my higher education so hard that I touched and started focusing, standing firm among those preparing university entrance exam national wide. later I haunted zoo where I returned with missing. I queried the attenders for some animal, say dolphin, the crew told me I should visit next area in the zoo. I retreated. yesterday I first time gave up gazing my favorite woman dancer in open space of QRRS plaza. one of the dancer among the public exercising team shew contempt last dusk and let me wonder consequence of local mafia's interference, including the world largest mafia, CCP. when I passed them before the music whipping the dance, I heard some of them laughed loudly, apparently tried to attract me. when I returned my dorm, the facing room again half open their door, indicating their threat of break-in of my dorm under PRC surveillance cooperation. in the night the surveillance desperately booted up to interact with me, meddling my episode watching and youtube night news stream. in boring of the total control of my web traffic through China telecom gateway, I tried to reach out my contacts on my mobile, till sms one of my Univ. alumni with good wish. near bedtime ie. soon after 10pm, the state agent on upper floor again gathered to gabble, their noise likely amplified to echo in my room, desperately aiming to intercept my routine and mindset. they are rats lair before flood, cling anything might evade ruin or elimination. like dying CCP or the tyrant in nowadays PRC, their race before fate wipes them from their root timed and doomed, since their improper disability and hatred toward people of China, the peaceful tribe. God dad, rip me sooner poisoned PRC surveillance against my sanity. secure my work space in brilliant sunrise. if it means killing, let me annihilate enemies of my Empire of China from my ancestor, let me cleanse the lice of bloodsucking, thief of intelligence, hooligan of mob and violence in gracious blessing Christian universe. save my world before ruin, survive my people in global food crisis. grant us happy weekend tomorrow, grant me another meal daily. thx dad God, in this anxious free December morning.

Dec 8, 2018

dreamt a guy likely my once colleague, Xu, accompanied me to tour his campus. it's likely a privileged university, say Peking Univ. or Tsinghua Univ. he then showered in a jammed basement spa, where a sophomore just locked in mistakenly a night. after shower he let barber there to haircut but the latter refused, for his hair style always short and straight like me, and lately refurbished so no need to do it again. then they two rode bike through the hill roads in the campus, trying joining a volleyball team there playing. the guy's girlfriend ran into and stayed awhile with the guy. yesterday meant much for me, for my first Japanese sabot arrived. PRC surveillance obviously meddled, first delayed logistics several days after the taobao vendor handover. when I buzzed the vendor, she checked it and claimed the goods ran short and asked my permission for a replacement. she replied lately and trying avoid my contacting. after second deliver, it costs a week to fulfill, much longer than usual. even arrived Harbin, our provincial capital, it took more than 2 days to reach me when should in day. but after all, it satisfies me. I put on as soon as unbox, and ditched PRC plastic product I bought online several months ago and wrecked recent weeks. the toilet room near my dorm frequently heavily messed by blue collar workers around, and heavy dirt on ground with dirty water, now I wouldn't afraid it, for the sabot has less contacting surface on its bottom, less likely got stained in the tentatively hate drove fouled open space, likes total PRC under hooligan CCP monopoly. my socks didn't have 2 toes, so I ordered a new set from taobao.com copes it. seemingly the wooden sabot not so cold indoor and hopefully new socks will put my feet in comfort. last dusk also rewarding me. I found spices coupon dispatched by my once employer, QRRS, due to expired next Monday, I launched at once to shift it to my son. I met him when he leaving his middle school. I handover coupon, pocket money, OS patch on portable storage, kissed his cheek and left. in the night after contacted him I booked 2 dining out for coming seasonal holiday, a buffet and a Japanese cuisine. I also settled monthly cinema next next weekend. on night before yesterday I buzzed my hometown nephew and his dad, exchanged view and briefed recent changes, urged the young man to seek learning in cyberspace. the kindness driven by gratefulness my concerned women left me around. I appreciate so much for fullness in my life entering late half. they left my waist painful in the night and I pray cure in thanksgiving. God dad, my new socks arrive hours later. grant us financial Independence. grant me another meal daily, or complementary some bread daily. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. in these 2 one meal a day weeks, thx for hunger didn't pester me. grant me meanings in my starvation. survive me and my world in the global crisis of food shortage.

Nov 29, 2018

dreamt first at hometown where a wedding ceremony underwent. then found it was my marriage. there are many traditional protocol in ceremony. the cousin, ie. the first son of my dad's elder brother, and his mom, who long time envied my family's luck, meddled in traditional practices with their evil intention. in the end, our tribe entrusted to train ourselves for ethnic war and fatal adversity. then dreamt Elon Musk, with his father, both successful entrepreneur. I wondered why them driven to be so diligent even overactive. then lengthily a dream about family affair at hometown but I forgot it now after late sleep. QRRS, my once long time employer, dispatching its annual rice coupon, I was informed by departmental cashier last dusk to fetch this morning. so I at once went over to fetch it. the refurbished HQ of the SOE has a gorgeous ground hall in which sunny and spacious. with this coupon my weekend reunion with my son will be glorified. I just broke contract with dorm canteen after its operative family shown despise. I now will hunt for meal everyday and risk penniless every living. I buzzed my younger brother who had been supporting my dorm canteen boarding for 3 years or so, monthly ¥700, about the change, but he yet not offer the aid direct to me after the cancelled mid deal. last night I thought of my financial hardness, my pinched purse which only left less than dozen bucks, and I recognized my support to my son's pocket money in a season, ¥800 remit to his alipay account boosted by last month's exceptional strong salary, near 6000 CNY around thanksgiving holiday, no optional but crisis adopts. my dearest son cares indeed about my empty promise to prepare his monthly pocket money ¥250, but in last year it constantly shift to other usage, say recent 2 purchases of computer. this poor niche now again confronted with premature requisite, left the year-end pale however our web asset renewed with the weighted salary. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for coming glory. grant us independent finance. rid me sooner off PRC merciless surveillance, insane cheap barking dog around with 24*7 espionage, esp on upper floor where they relentlessly made noise to notify their meddling coincidentally. grant us happy weekend with dine out Mcdonald. thx God in this sunny winter morning when I freed from routine canteen breakfast hussle and totol free agenda like a hunting bee.

[chinad]

every stardust count glories of the Son

Nov 19, 2018

last busy week I achieved lots. I reinstalled 2 OSes on new 60GB ssd converted usb; I restored OS on my ZTE mobile and successfully installed Gapps on it. these took me 2 overnight works. on Saturday my son and I enjoyed 'fantastic animals' movie. human love touched me emotionally in the movie. we dined out fish hotpot after cinema. Sunday morning I let my son updated his devices, ie. wintel's first monthly patch in size of 30M since larger version upgrade v.1809, linux update in size of nearly 90M. my son claimed it was the lightest workload weekend. he enjoyed awhile youtube gaming stream before heading to lunch out with me and later bathing. it was a winter sunny day. I told my son how PRC authority banning idea exchange, banned society history and memories. they want the dictator replace all educator and parenting, only his work instead all jobless adults. I review PRC open policy decades when most needed technology imported from Christian world and greatly enhanced people's life quality while current tyrant disobeys his ruling party's retreat which won it timespace to last its ruling. they forbidden people review nor learning after which otherwise would self-proving the world esp USA saves but not hurt Chinese and China as CCP long time propaganda. they will saw CCP long time delayed China its due pleasure of life, grace of society, by constrained them in cage of war threat but in fact it's hooligan's guild's threat. now PRC tyrant day by day cheatingly curbing social freedom, like internet business, small business, basic freedom of personal data in their mobiles. they killing civilian with warm water and heating constantly & accelerating. the tyrant most terrifying thing is his jobless and ditched by all his patriots for his improper education. he is in fact an brainless monster. last Sunday I also saw my son's mom's new family. when my son and I returned from spa to his house, a man received my son's parcel. he likely the stupid woman's choice. I ate some oranges we just bought with my son and let my son open his TV and English program and left. I don't know how devil CCP penetrating my son's life, but God, dad, you know my son preparing to cope with challenge before his throne. God dad, mercy in your Mighty.

Nov 6, 2018

first dreamed ordered some new device. later added another 4 or 6 copies for backup. in dream concerned the report yesterday that some of PRC invested scientific telescope unable to enroll crew to attend or do research in those remote area. PRC reportedly newly open scientific startups stock market in Shanghai. those are all PRC traditional way to do business: heavy money injection, but no human capital, for itself too cheap to be gracious. they long time buying cheap nerd researchers to copycat western military innovations, but none of them ever be normal human, but bitch to defame the sunny world of Christian. loop in their neck hangs too harsh to allow them not to brag their contribution recklessly before condemned to rat race or dying meaninglessly like a smoke. this month too busy for me to review. we settled new chromebox 3, our second one, with woz on his own tested recovery mood and installed it in his bedroom. I totally rearranged my portable OSes, esp after equipped myself 2 portable devices, ie. usb stick ultrafit and ssd with usb converter case. I deployed 2 redundant linux against hacking attempts thicker and thicker around, esp on upper floor PRC state intelligent agents non-break surveillanced me, sometimes desperately begging interactivity. we also refurnish woz 2 old google devices, nexus 6 and 7 with new custom roms. now their OS both upgraded from original 6 to android 8.1. my son under my guidance gradually familiar with linux command line. amid these 2 weeks, I also felt my darkness in aging and loneliness, esp when waiting for visiting my son. we had once reunion weekly upon his mom doesn't at a loss. harsher surveillance around let me sad, the more they felt unable to afford us, the more I felt my destine to replace PRC with my Empire of China under Zhu's. God dad, the turbulence in USA shows more urgent need to tighten migration control, for human always has membrane, we doesn't love anyone, esp those against our belief, our grace. naturally we love our own, our disciplined universe, not a mass of chaos and flies. USA in danger of defining itself. and Chinese does the same nowadays. earth defines blessed, against rootless Arab and Indian. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me new family, dad, God, when it matters.

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[be21zh]

Sep 15, 2018

these days pestered by upper floor's rats a lot. they had access to PRC telecom's account administration and frequently closed my Internet connection. since last week it totally shutdown my Internet after they failed to intercept my vpn traffic. in 2 days my dorm fiber optics broken, I had to rely on my mobile cellular data. at first I thought it would soon resume. later I thought might be I forgot to hand over Internet fee due to busy workload around salary day this month. waited to Monday I recharged my dorm Internet and found it wasn't caused by my account deficit. my account valid still cut out of service by PRC Internet cop. late Monday my fiber optics network restored after filed connection failure complain. in the harsh I bought my son a second mobile, a product of HTC, Taiwanese digital producer, for the price too attractive. after broke neck looking forward twice, first time a cheap bolt version then replaced our order to HTC 10 for popularity and max compatibility, we got it. then misled by online developer's community, I upgraded is OS to android 8 and unable to unlock its boot loader. I tried all means, in wilder sought for replace its verizon bundled OS with custom rom which easier and user friendly. after so many tries, I finally turned it brick when trying flash its boot loader. after nearly half month relentlessly sought settling it, now I had to wait the vendor repair it in another half month. this is a peaceful sunny morning. it's not too bad, isn't it, God dad, after so many best buy in this Summer and Autumn? I felt so bounty with these equipment and ready tools. in every sense of office and warehouse, I had it. this month also saw my younger brother sent us moon cake when lunar Mourning Day coming. I shared some with my concerned people around the dorm. it's bountiful, too. I also talked first time to my nephew, ie. second son of my 2nd elder brother, since his marriage broken and refused female in his life as his mom rumored when a year before my elder sisters shared their lunar Spring festival with us. my elder brother carefully protected his dear son not to hurt by reckless chatter, but this time he allowed me talked with his innocent kid. I urged him not to give up enjoying life, material living. I demonstrated my workspace I gathered in my half life, with my recent satisfactory. my nephew listened a lot, admitted his continue efforts to carry on family life. I also told my elder sister my complacent upon this year's purchases. I fearless under espionage around trying paralyze my workspace, humiliated me by torn apart my vpn and secure web. God dad, the rats on upper floor made relentlessly noise when I worked. rid me off the hazard sooner. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, from Japan. bring me sooner my new family and house. grant us, esp my concerned son, woz, his enjoyable school experience. violent dark web of PRC trying these days to afraid me, let them fear, scatter their mob. God dad, save us in faith securer.

Aug 27, 2018

dreamed in my hometown I likely in my vacation. the village driver, the only son of passed carpenter, asked me to find my younger brother to help him drive for an event. I open my proud book I reading which full of symbols and very precious legacy, to search my younger brother's phone number. it soon settled and all happy with that. my brother in dream already a nearly millionaire with his mills. the dream very vivid after I got up. I intended to blog it at once around 6am. but the upper floor's insane PRC surveillance, likely a freaky, made sounds warned me the under skin espionage, so I would rather wait. the state backed agent not only surveillance me, but also every chances attempted to terrify me with its psychotic: recklessly closely approaching me and coercing me with relentless noises it can make on the thin sensitive floor with chair, stride, nail, bump etc at every synchronic moments beside wall. last week we refreshed with my younger brother's loan for monthly cinema and dine out. he previously attempted to detain my help cry, refused twice my mobile calls when I tried to change our broadband capacity, which requests ï¿¥500 but in fact that's dirty cheat from unqualified chinatel staff while in its official office next week the crew girl charges free to change our plan for 200MB/s within a data bundle discounts to 82CNY/mon includes mobile data limitless. my mean brother each time reluctant to draw his purse for me, usually in cause not to admit my investment or deluxe lifestyle. I had previously determined to carry out the data plan change on my own. so when he buzzed back claiming he had been accompanying his son to park and missed my calls, I told him nothing special. but he was listening, so I told him my story: my son's mobile 4G data plan deficits in his morning exercise while playing with his pals outdoors and I intending upgrade to speeder broadband for the sake of modern fiber optic broadband and time saving on internet time lapse. he almost defied it in hurry to close talk to drive. returned to dorm, I felt I hardly cope the expenditure with my poor salary. so I messaged him he can loan us ï¿¥800 as he previously admitted to help me repair my erode tooth base. he replied he only responsible for my living, not my other costs. I waited a night. next day I sms him in rage about our ancestor's legendary: Ming Dynasty's 1st prince tried to use imperative force to restrain his blood sibling, killing family love with ruling power, which only resulted in disastrous himself suicide in Royal city he inherited from his grandpa, Founder of Ming Dynasty, with his all fondness and fidelity. I didn't expected reply nor reward. but next next day when I search all means to pay groupon for my son monthly cinema and dine out, I found my brother already remit us 1000 CNY 2 days ago. I had previously check my financial account several times and never gained. so I doubting if my brother aid's arrival date hacked by state intelligent agency, just trying defying power of my persuading and prophet. after all, the ï¿¥1000 let us so plenty in entertainment and business capable: I renewed zho.io for 2 more years with our domain registrar, equip myself another ssd of 128GB for scenarios like copying larger file fat32 forbidden. It's just too wonderful to be constrained in scarcity. last weekend, I also overnight worked out to switch our old chromebox OS from chromeOS of google to open source chromiumOS, which adorably native supports Android apps, even google play store. Sunday night I non-break 6 hours to re-flash my son's new zonfone 3 with custom rom world developers contributed, after found previous OS let down chinatel gsm calling and sms. even finally I didn't fix sms and calling failure, but LTE data at least working, allowing us making full potential of our new data plan with chinatel: no limit of data! and my son's wifi heavily under PRC surveillance attacks, almost all internet traffic through the router disabled vpn. we badly sought auxiliary channel to evade deadly blockage in falling PRC wasteland cyberspace. God dad, bring us sooner our viable work space, secure our growth independently, out of entrenched by state backed hackers. bring me sooner my Royal China for relieve all trapped Chinese in felling PRC. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for unites Japan and China after turbulent world war 2, for ambitions 2 nations manifested in centuries, in tears, glories an proud, in likage of language. grant our workload meaningful and intact through ruin of PRC dictation, rampant fires of national revolts in insanely depressed and depravity.

Aug 17, 2018

dreamed my university era artist friend, Benba Chungdak. at first with his friend Li Moufeng, in the campus I familiared. then in Benba's house or my house we at leisure. my son joined our conversation. Benba in dream now a well know artist. we talked a lot. my son trusted our guest and learned. my dorm internet under a new wave of surveillance and breakin attempts. I already gave up router but client, which also sometimes unstable. new weekend arriving, there is a new blockbuster PRC granted to import, Antman 2. my son chose it from 2 other optional USA films on show recently. he also delayed my invitation to visit my dorm this weekend, rather he will invite his peer into his house, likely for gaming and entertainment. It's a cool morning. wardless web turns so hard to archive now. I more and more speechless now, amid hardship tyrant PRC exerts upon my living sphere. there are more state intelligent agents in QRRS Dorm surrounding my room here to surveillance me 7*24, costly on PRC fragile totalitarian treasury. God dad, how long we will wait for the overturn, I in faith of the future out of burning campfires among insanely pressed domestic nations. in bitter reality, I hope it fosters revolution rips us off the poorly endangered dictation. bring me sooner my Royal China. my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, come and overturn my prison our enemies engulfed. live us freedom, so to China bitchy mob, jobless riot. game changer, Dad God, let out the active agenda for the sake of better China. thx God, survivor is U.S.

Aug 12, 2018

last night watched a talk show of Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon. his easygoing charactor deeply touched me. turth of life, of fortune, of mission, expand in front of me. in dawn dream, I worked for him, then in army, both reveals truth, or secret of success, course inchangeable. aging let me harder now to memorize dream, but its scenario conforts me. it's a boring morning. the ugly lesbian again lingered in the shabby neighbor room chattering, pretending she had a job there. the whole dorm administrative team moved from their offices seperate into the dorm, mimic my office in dorm. they can't believe they doomed to lose their jobs. their cheap copycat deprives their means of living. they are all thieves in fact, or robbery of innocent. the room in my upper direct floor likely occupied by state backed intelligent agent. they constantly made noise in key situations trying to coerce me. my new chromebox frequently encountered abnormal quit, likely hacked by PRC government online. my son last night just returned from his mom's hometown journey. they visited again the woman's relatives in their hometown, a small town hours away by train. I hope my son enjoy it but affraid he was hijacked by his stupid mom in fact. hours later I will reunite him for lunching out and shower in spa weekly. my new chromebox not only securer, but largely changed my workflow and efficiency. I now consume news most of workday, rather than prevously only in the begining of moring, restricted by portable device for desktop windows might fail me in its insecure. last night I check my alipay credit, found my installment total near ï¿¥900, which much a relief for my monthly return alipay ï¿¥1300 and stumbled about uncommon expenditure. made clear of debt base, I immediately recharged our mobiles fee, around 300 CNY. God dad, lift my dependence on my local loaner, who might turning reluctant. grant us a richer salary this month for I due to pay some extra bills including medicine, clothes, etc. secure my worksapce with findings, revealing truth our mission concerns. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for ease of living. let me stay in self-contain upon life stream and social motivation. guarantee my cyberspace publishing booming and plenty of self-rely.

[chinad]

countless sworn in, inc new chromebox 3 into zhone enlist.

Aug 7, 2018

dreamed at my nephew's city, neighbor city of Hangzhou, Changzhou. among crowd I tried to talk to him, first son of my 3rd elder sister's, tring to coach him on business and life. I also concerned his brother in dream. It's a golden morning. last night I first close my window before went to bed since this summer, for today is lunar Autumn creeps in. this month exceptional weighted for I equipped myself another chromebox, Asus chromebox 3, after our chromebox CN60 shifted to my son as his lounge mini pc. my internet frenzy almost fading, so I felt a biz guilty for the purchase. I tried to persuade my son accept the chromebox 3 as his gear and lent me for some years and I almost got it. the chromebox native support google play, let it so unique and powerful. I shifted most my daily usage onto its platform, inc agenda management, financial booking, reading source, watching video, etc. never over-estimates its function. I invited my son lingered 3 days in my dorm for the gadget's arrival from British vendor through Amazon China. I previously intended to spend a week with my son in my dorm. but his mom scorned us when we returned for weekly shower in public spa on Sunday at her house. My son felt enough of gaming streams at youtube.com and rather to return his mom's custody for homework after 3 exciting nights with unrestrained gaming and watching online videos. the purchase initiated by my son's loan then aided by dorm canteen operative woman's ￥2000 loan, cost us around ￥2100 which let me so satisfied and profitable, allowing me budget 1000 for woz's a week staying plan here my dorm. but my son suggested end it after 3 days' rich meals and meaningful interactive on his devices, left us 200 in pocket before this week. we also watched a cheap France movie, "taxi 5" on Saturday. all blockbusters denied by PRC authority, we unable to choose a quality one. we dined hotpot after cinema, in a drizzle dusk. this summer in Qiqihar exceptional rains let it cooler than ever. I even put on a coat shirt last night in my dorm against chill. dad God, now almost dust down with chromebox, I relentless with it when it hit road from UK. thanks for the finance and logistics. with it my workload more efficient and our informative environment more secured. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. my son, woz, more engaged in his Junior middle school schedule. grant him his satisfying performance and reward meaningful. fill my life with interests and enthusiasm. lead us vision our mission bounds. rid me off the sinful ugly lesbian in my neighbor room, where never occupied before surveillance and profanity.

Jul 17, 2018

dreamed with my alumni, likely 3 or 4 members, some with family, in traveling from Beijing to Tianjin, my university campus, then to our hometown, Wuhan, central China. they are likely my senior middle school alumni, esp some studies harder than me and enrolled by more elite university like Peking Univ., or Tsinghua Univ. one of them with his daughter while I always felt honor and glory with my son in heart in dream. the alumnus likes details, so we check our package times and times, esp ticket and private items. I later gave up and just let him to take care of those stuff for me. traveling, once so focus demanding for otherwise you will punished for missing out line so heavily that I sensed in dream again the unrest and changes uncertain as well as our future unborn promising. this is a clean and clear morning, after last night rain. I wondered about my miserably separated from my son and who exerts behind. Last Sunday I told my son I reviewed history of his mom's mother's intervene with her elder sister, a witchy fox, just after his birth, tried to keep my baby from my reach. their plots long time aiming deprive me of my son, which still on going. after breakfast I tried to read and re-napped due to sleepy. I visited in dream a guy likely my alumnus Peng Jinglei. he worked in a remote area in PRC likely Xinjing. we first met his father-in-law and his son. his naughty son soon broke my glasses. the grandpa tried to repair it while his daughter returned from her school as she is a teacher. when I teased the boy with English words, Peng returned and exchange our review on each life since graduation. Peng likely satisfied by his life and cautious upon our visit. when wrote this blog, I recognized that the guy can be a QRRS colleague, who now a high rant manager in QRRS. he migrated from Xinjiang after graduate and later moved his old parent here with him, away from the turbulent western area fluctuated with PRC army farmers. he married a cadre's daughter in QRRS, a SOE enrolled us same year and lately didn't have child. he might lead a careful life for his father-in-law might be as bossy as once. his father-in-law in dream reminds me he can be another elder, my son's mom's lesbian girlfriend's dad. he once be an educator, now had some skill and knowledge as middle class, but as I claimed once in my blog, no one in their elder respectable in sinful PRC except my passed dad who fought whole life and maintained humble in his lonely retirement in the village, Zhudajiu, offspring of Emperor of Ming Dynasty. this 2 dreams so vivid that a bit strange in my recent life. I more and more lost patience and faith in dreams, once so meaningful and promising. God dad, I recently so hateful upon my life which bored me into tears. bring me sooner my Royal China for 1109 years in future world foresight. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my aging and children. grant us financial ready for glory of the Son and his people, his family support. affirm faith in praying heart, and glory of more achievement ahead unfolds.

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[be21zh]

Jun 13, 2018

these 2 dawns both dreamed of enemies and my revenge. yesterday on my jog route, the old sinister, an elder man, a mad cow, again challenged me physically, took a narrow way in advance me. he copied my route twice, always bragged his mule energetic and orthodox. It really disgusting me but I trusted God the killing upon profane, anytime anywhere. it took me longer to roam when I caught sight of my mission on the earth progresses so step by step and devising broken. God dad, enemies took our road to sabotage our beautiful world's descending. near my dorm, the neighbor room of my dorm, is a half size room previously for cleaner keeping tools, now occupied by dorm administrative staff, a likely lesbian. dorm authority previously never put woman among mans' area, but the cheap cow insisted lodging among all man dorms, just for steal and spying me. day by day it hided herself in the shabby shelter to surveillance me, to profane me. likely she arranged that to take advantage of public asset for private interest, or the SOE under PRC tyrant's direction to threaten me with the trick. as to larger aspect, these 2 weeks quite satisfying: dorm internet access upgrade to chinaunicom fiber optics, whose download speed stable at 2MB/s. upload speed almost the same. I completed downloading OSes on our raspberry pi within 2 hours for 2 or 4 system images. with the utility, I can safely try more Linux distributive and more prepared for Linux world which so attractive comparing Microsoft under PRC blackmail. now my son and my raspberry pi both equipped with more elegant OSes, ready to go further and higher on the ward free informative universe. the ISP in the pass week gradually picked up to surveillance me. it already blocked me 2 days last week, forced me surfing domestic sites includes its homepage, where I found cheap but gracious mobile phone number with modest data plan, 15 CNY/mon. I had already persuaded by its sms to have a free of charge deputy phone number, but later contact refuted me saying the data plan includes deputy card requires at lease 128CNY/mon consuming. but on the website, I saw an independent phone number only costs 30CNY, so I immediately ordered one, in rhythm of rain in an aimless night besieged by deadly blockage from open web. It's so meaningful and rewarding, that I can't wait to add the new asset to all my zhone GA contacts. Monday express informed me the arrival of the sim card and I fetched immediately, even the staff of the unicom missing and handled over her colleague. Sunday I busy with trying enable other 2 GA chrome device management within google admin panel before woz returning from his painting class his mom arranged years. even failed due to google policy, we glad the 2 GA didn't bundled with central administrative which usually bans full google play store access, as status quo. my son uncertain about my blame last Monday upon his adopting a corrective glasses his mom suggested in favor of Chinese so said innovation, but never trustworthy. he tried to flattered me by turning on English podcast proactive as I frequently urged while he always loosed to abid. but I don't care, and glad to reunite him in the fruitful weekend. his internet ISP once boasted speed of 30MB but never satisfying, rather just lagging and broken frequently, likely in PRC surveillance's ordain. I even can't update his Linux smoothly there. each time when I visit my son and launch update, it's bottle neck and upset our patience. God laughs the dirty trick and burning brains wasted among all ghosted communism China wholely in ash. God dad, I'm so contented by my new internet that I here end this post soon. grant my son satisfying web and rich content of play. grant us ward free web, for otherwise I see only darkness of dictator propaganda, coarse of manipulation of social consciousness. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me closer my dream land and peace of God's mercy upon Chinese and China, my vested land from my glorious ancestor. thx for this sunny morning, Dad God.

May 29, 2018

dreamed with my son roamed in remote place near Tianjin, northern China, my university city. I carried my passed mother's corpse and search for service to bury it. we were refuted once for too expensive. then near country fair we met Gao Jun, my once alumnus who soon after army train in beginning of PRC campus migrated from our major Philosophy school into Economics, but stayed in dorm of our class girls. her husband or brother inquired our problem and extended his help, out of Chinese taboo, while Miss Gao remained her self-possessed normally among guests in her spacious house in my dream. we likely rested there and waited for more money remit from our relatives, or aided by Gao to settle our funeral. the northern China countryside scene lonely detailed in dream, different from my hometown, central China. last night it drizzled, left wet ground when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast. last night I put 2 pillows in stack and its the highest pillow I ever had with my own, for the cover of my pillar sent to laundry and no replacement. I always admire American family pillars in its episodes, large and soft and qualifies, but never found within domestic market includes online e-commerce. yesterday I half day roaming in dorm, except reading informative web as routine for one or 2 hours. my life more and more turned like an elder's, or even worse, like those retired gathered in gate ball game yard outside near my dorm window view. they found no fun in the game, no challenge, no exciting, but just gather and moving. still there are fights among common Chinese, like the dorm canteen. the operational couples loathed to invest more on food materials, but spare no efforts to advertise, to celebrate its anniversary. the result is fewer and fewer customers. I usually have less than a bowl meat in a week there together. it doesn't hurt me much as a mandated vegetarian, but let me slender. and the business possibly reined by PRC surveillance against me. recent months my throat more and more choked by phlegm, I had to cough hard to spit it. my backbone also turned inflexible: after standing up it takes quite few seconds to waist straight from sitting. usually the most exciting moment in a week is gathering my son, woz, on Sunday weekly. his sinful mom tentative separates us, frequently change my son's timetable to drive my son away from my side. God dad, the drizzle turns heavier. dad God, my life runs full and merry. no matter how sinister attempted to ruin it. grant us our web business booming and self-relies. bring us sooner Royal China for better future. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for my second baby, billing zhu. God dad last salary means so much for us. my worn shoes, which embarrassed me again last raining Sunday when it was wet being handled to spa keeper, now replaced by new one. my son glad with his new chromebook bag he chose his own. God dad, in coming alipay credit returning day, let us anxious free. thx God dad, for surfing hard time so smooth regardless PRC war time preparing period, thx for skipping us from trifle grudge in the failing and doomed authority.

May 26, 2018

this month my salary from QRRS exceptionally supportive: nearly 600 additional totals ￥3600, and my younger brother gifted me ￥200 for update my wrecked shoes. with it, I bought my son, woz birthday cake a dearest one, ￥128 fruits cake titled 和风莓��. we designated praying for Japanese spiritual and English.the cake shop near my dorm and kindly offered us a set of stainless steer cake knife and forks. my son lately returned from his school, near 7 pm, for his school forced even grade 7th students to have night class aiming better performance in rat race entrance exam of elite senior middle school. his mom this time actively joined us in celebration. woz, and all us likely enjoyed the delicacy, fruit cake. after first round of eating cake, my son lent himself to my planned task abrupt, setup his new account in google chrome for easy access family asset book. that lasted more than an hour and wonderfully done. I then left, urging my son listening and watching more English as cliche. on bus station, the last bus line missed. I walked 2 bus stops to return my dorm, and busy with publishing video and photo captured in the ritual birthday onto web till 11 am. in this deep sleep I dreamed 2 kind of different animals, 獾 badger and a kind of Chinese sound like "揉", both like sloth or pangolin. the training and performance of district summer sports game Qiqihar municipal requisites on going now again, near 8 am and loudly outside. I saw in these days how the expropriation costs, esp young lives, their decency and creativeness in change of collective cheap mob. dad, my son's class was lucky out of the chaos. guide us away from burning turbulence of PRC war time preparation. grant us our job meaningful and rewarding material and spiritual. in this windy morning, dad God, let the world witness how plenty our joys, perfections in our living spectrum.

[be21zh]

May 16,2018

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered in other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it and enjoy ourselves each one. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shift by someone from yard to dorm hall sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ￥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting of animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own words and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

May 8,2018

dreamt at my hometown in my summer school vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizza hut. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop ran by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary's house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SOE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant complexion among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom, to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

May 4,2018

dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsourced us to another bus. then we passed a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy. this week esp busy with updating windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. it's quite smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't disappointed me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity! God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is to disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China in deepest darkness.

Apr 25,2018

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast quite rich, including hundreds of dishes. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food stains there. It's a brilliant morning, when I can't help but first to do is check my parcel's delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery road, amazon did and assured the forecast of arrival: we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it's not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

[chinad]

regular pulse of daily stream turns stronger.

May 16,2018

dreamed in my hometown in a raining night. my mother locked a panther in house, or a lion or tiger. my sinful 2nd elder brother tried to risk me to feed it. I feared and escaped, gathered in other villagers' kids. my mother help me in the dangerous situation. we discussed together including infants in the village. when the panther released to us, we found safely treated it and enjoy ourselves each one. last night it drizzled, with thunders. in the morning it was sunny and I sunburned my quilt. then I busy with sorting my contacts in google accounts and on my mobile, till I found it drizzling. I hasted to collect my quilt but the dorm keeper woman shown me my quilt already shift by someone from yard to dorm hall sofa. it smells with sunburn crisp. seemingly I should appreciate the anonymous helper, but why he or she knew that was my quilt or at least belong to Dorm No. 1, not other dorms share the central garden? last Sunday my son first time brought his new flip chromebook out when we dined out before shower. for he changed his bag, he forgot bringing wallet with. we penniless and without membership card we blocked from checkout the spa. I first haunted nearby barbershop to borrow ￥30, but the mean hair dresser to whom I tipped quite some times refused. my son had to return to his mom's house to fetch our membership card. however, after returned home after the frustration, my son now more enjoys his flip chromebook, esp android games on it. that's Mother's day. my son's mom's girlfriend visited, with her son there to receive tutorial from my son's mom. the sinful woman preferred my son's bedroom and lingered there recharging her mobile when I arrived the house where my son absent, in his painting class elsewhere his mom arranged. I even doubting the woman spying my son's gadgets there. she soon shifted to bedroom of my son's mom's, when I launched to prepare my son bootable rescue disk with ubuntu 18 and windows 10 installation iso. we dined in Japanese cuisine noodles restaurant. the boss' son at a loss over my son's new ultrabook, evaded gathering my son but sit neighbor table. his dad queried our new gadget and that's all response we received in our gear's first public appearance, except additional some gaze in public spa from graduates of nearby colleges. woz's old dell notebook, aided by my Nankai alumni decade ago as woz first laptop, shifted to his mom. still the vengeful woman tasteless, complained my eating her grapes her mom prepared at home, without least gratefulness. Dad God, so many shameless mob on the earth. like this monthly cinema experience, "avengers: infinite war", we need cleanser, need decent extinguisher. the world of plants and animals, the Nature already can't afford human rubbish population. grant us vision to discipline, and unbearable pains of breeding rat race, and disgusting of animality among humanity. grant us sooner vision to rid off nasty Mideast, African, Hispanic cheap human cattle. enliven again our mother Earth, our Nature sustainable human friendly. bring me sooner my Royal China to pillar world strategy stage. bring me sooner my Japanese Queen, Asoh Yukiko, to spread Merit of Japan, heritage of the Empire. grant me financial independence in this coming salary day. rid me off my mean younger brother, who promised to aid me to buy a pair of shoes then next day ate his own words and cold shoulders to my adversity. let my coaching in air in wind and free any obligation between us to dilute my disappointments. thx dad God, in this misty morning.

May 8,2018

dreamt at my hometown in my summer school vacation ran a startup, cake and dispatching shop, like pizza hut. the shop likely founded by our neighbor, the first son of village Mao era teacher and a long time secret copycat of my dad's role model. later I found there is another established competitor, a cake shop ran by 2nd son of village's CCP secretary. they both treated me with barbecue for the startup and trying invite my partnership, esp in the secretary's house the CCP cadre and his first son, my once friend and now a bank manager, appeared, and soon I found the arena challenge, in time and season sensitive. its easy to rotten a new cake in your hands at your cost. last night I saw threat against my mean while stable income from QRRS, a SOE I worked for more than a decade till my breakup in an adventure to gain a master degree of politics. I saw nowadays PRC how people insanely reckless just for a job and its salary. I saw since Marxism and modernization, people earn from job and drove by money, and burning out of reserved. heritage and merit ditched, enthusiasm buried by post. I wouldn't work for a job. I will commit in my vision, unshakable faith and inspire of reason and grace. I saw so many cheap souls, even in elegant complexion among nowadays VIPs in CCP and PRC main stage. the tyrant just whipping hardship of living to coerce obedience from weak mob. God dad, even myself under pressure of my son's mom, to accept rule of jobbing, to support my family under her stinky guide, stumbling and crawling as PRC main stream. God dad, let me work independently, under your influence of life long career of stone works, regardless orders. let me inherit and abide with my nation. let my people self-rely and self-efficient. bring me my Empire of China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring me my new baby, billingzhu. in this sunny morning and newly improving canteen breakfast, let me sing and chord in praises of Goodness.

May 4,2018

dreamt with my son woz on journey. we needed to return to my hometown. the ground very muddy & shitty. we managed to aboard, but soon the driver found tourists to my hometown too few so outsourced us to another bus. then we passed a historical famous Chinese china factory, yuyao汝窑（于姚）as Song Dynasty chartered china craft. that remind me my 2 once QRRS colleagues, a woman in surname Yao姚, and a guy surname Yu于. they both offspring of once PRC privilege families. Yao's dad is the company's deputy secretary of CCP, while Yu's parents is scholars redirected to QRRS implies Mao's training in rural policy. this week esp busy with updating windows with April 2018 release, linux with ubuntu 18. it's quite smooth, except during my installing necessary tools I was deadly blocked from vpn. last week almost all time waiting our Amazon China parcel, Asus flip chromebook. at first its vendor delayed several days to dispatch after our order accepted. then it went from British to Germany and Poland. then it traveled to HK. then soon clear customs and arrived Beijing, where it deterred 3 times and finally refuted by PRC authority and denied us our shopping. but amazon China didn't disappointed me, I got my parcel next 2 days through a mid man. my son likely amazed by the gift, I accompanied him setup accounts and then left his own to play with the wonderful product. this Sunday I will check its charisma my own. in this meaningful April, my credit debt mounts to ￥1000, including 3 kinds purchases, cushions for my dorm's coldness which results in my painful waist, pants for woz esp his mobiles portable, and wire k/m combo replacement of my wireless k/m which malfunctions possibly under nearby attacks. they all dispensable. dad God, what a beautiful early 2018 for us turns out in pressing environmental adversity! God dad, PRC's most fatal weapon against our secure informative web is to disable our down stream traffic, and it kills. in recent encounters it occurred more and more frequent, each time as soon as vpn once built connection. ugly dog just out of my door. our dangers in your mercy, God dad. free us from digital wasteland and brutal surveillance and disrespects in the last barking shameless China tyrant. God dad, let me cruise glorious founding of my Empire China, let me enjoy my Royal China with people concerned, esp my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. bring life vivid with my son, my new baby in my armful. in this summer, let's wholeheartedly fly higher and atop. dad God, grant us ward free web in nowadays siege of ghost communism in China in deepest darkness.

Apr 25,2018

dreamt in my hometown village opens a new canteen, whose breakfast quite rich, including hundreds of dishes. I hangout there and sat aside a young couple to enjoy my meal. my coat accidentally got dirty with food stains there. It's a brilliant morning, when I can't help but first to do is check my parcel's delivery status after got up. unfortunately it stopped by Beijing customs 3rd times. yesterday I let amazon China called me to assure my parcel on its delivery road, amazon did and assured the forecast of arrival: we will receive our parcel on Friday, Apr 27th, out of its website warning of returning our ordered chromebook back. this week I mostly relentlessly expecting arriving of our purchased gift, and 2 OS, ubuntu 18 and windows RS4, for preparing rebuild our work space. it's not a torture but let you review your life in pale and constrained. my salary also first time delayed to 24th of the month, while usually it varies from 19th to 23rd. so many awaiting tasks makes April 2018 so special. after all time will win us a better world, equips us better in the world changed largely by Christian. God dad, pave our road the goods sending to us. let PRC surveillance attempting defies our purchase in vain. bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, in time as they matter so much. grant me new monuments in building the earth a more fortitude portal of China Royal and world infrastructural of future. bring more obvious worldview of my visionary. thx dad God, in every ray of sunlight we are blessed with hope.

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[be21zh]

Apr 10, 2018

dreamt with my Tibet artist friend, Benba Chungdak, and his friend. we together build a company. the enterprise grows with our ages. in handling developing issues we stepped into middle aged and each have child. I saw touching moment daughter with dad. This week quite boring, for I relentlessly need assured our ordered Asus chromebook smoothly delivering to us, evade PRC customs’ deter or domestic censorship. Life can be easier with help from our dorm canteen’s aid, the woman loaned me ￥700 to pay alipay credit debt yesterday. It not only remove the tension, also let my ability to handle something in failing prison of PRC economic winter. Yesterday I also seeking equip our usb-c reader a tf card for data transferring and storage. woz's coming Asus chromebook has 2 usb-c ports while normal usb only one port, so I preparing shifting my usb and usb-c reader stick to him, now that his Intel NUC shifted to me and equips me a build-in card reader. We are migrating from usb stick to sd card. I long time intending upgrade our backup card storage, but always felt economically unfit for it. Now I am almost assured worthily to invest it. I also intended shift our old Dell notebook to my son’s mom, the small man long time complained her notebook I left her without battery, even I told our notebooks’ battery were shits. I even guessing she brought Trojan horses from PRC surveillance into the dell notebook my son and I used to play steam games, for she insisted worked on the notebook even she already had an old Hasee notebook I left her, after all my warns not to mess with our dell notebook. Now she can has a taste of her own bait. I felt glad to rip off the dell notebook, for it frequently refused windows’ patches. It also lagging in booting up, even running programs OK. After move it away from my son’s bedroom, my son will has a new desk to work on. I long time preparing my son an office space, but the dell notebook always occupied one. So my son usually wrote homework on a cheap table his mom used for her profiting tutoring. Now with 2 light chromebooks, my son has 2 fix computer desks to work on. that’s I long time intended, against his cheap mom's efforts to put him and her students in slavery situation, where only main business is tutorials, like in Mideast or Islamic. God, dad, its a yellow morning now. Sandstorm more and more common scene now here. Looking into future, so many holy discipline including severe genocide ahead. Quite some races deserve no future but hell. God put the chosen breaks through hardship and wasteland, and deserted. Bring rest to breed racing. Bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, into tangible world. God, dad, bring me to top view of the canyon.

Apr 6, 2018

first dreamt kill a bear. I don't want to hunt but soon I slayed it in fear of prey. then dreamt in my hometown just after wedding. I enjoy enviable sexual life with my bride, each time I never anxious but just insatiable intercourses. yesterday is our monthly cinema time with my son, woz. we watched blockbuster "ready player one". we almost missed it with fake Russian product, snow queen 3 which mimics frozen 3. we watched frozen 1 and 2 and impressed, and without hesitation we chose the snow theme movie, till 2 days before the lunar Mourning day I found we cheated by the Russian title. my son soon accepted my suggestion of change. and that's rewarding. I think "ready player one" is quite impressive in visual presentation. before the movie, I told my son my decision to put investment before deposition, in risk of CCP tyrant seizure. we never felt unease upon saving woz some pocket money via alipay's yuebao, till last Sunday we found yuebao restricting our automatic deposit, delayed more than ￥800 in cash account without profit for months, due quota restriction new CCP puppet financial regulator setup aiming to disable or malfunction the world largest fund. then I saw PRC tyrant relentlessly constrains civilian's cash flow while under table covertly leaks into its underground reservoir. I felt threatened and need to take action rather than passive been robbed. also in past months, our intended purchase, convertible chromebook, turned more dearer and scarcer on amazon China. we need response swift. my son agreed. after movie we ate hotpot near the cinema. the peanut sausage ran short, and a neighbor cheap mid aged man occupied himself unnecessary a full bowl of it against shortage. we used groupon and additional cash for more mutton. after returned to my dorm, I felt the rich meal let me energetic and delayed to sleep. I checked my purchase target monitoring and amazed by new chromebook on sale. I at once ordered it and paid by my deposit money for woz in last half year, near 2000 CNY. its so satisfying that I watched lately another episode of "the office" for completion of the wonderful lunar Mourning holiday. now last night dream is so sweet that I never know aging. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China. bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for I waited decades. grant us one more child for prosperous Eastern Asia. thx God, in this sedative morning.

Apr 2, 2018

dreamt history creation by 2 pals in three kingdoms period Chinese well known. one of them is Yuwei, with his family ie. his mother and young wife, forging his southern China country from scratch. I witness his charisma, his conquer over territory he bestowed. another guy's expanding his national border near southeastern China also in details in dream. its a sandstormy morning. last week I ripped one of zhone cms, https://agarten.in ,replace it with a tool site, a project management site. even still in experimental phrase, I already felt satisfying. my son last week installed an old famous file explorer on his android. I deleted it at once, and warn him the dangers of PRC government overtaken tool softwares. the file manager was a wonderful tool, but now manipulated by PRC government for large scale surveillance, like it purchased hundred of once perfect software tools mostly created by individuals or small enterprises, esp rooting tools. my son nodded. in night we co-operated online to assure his google voice forwarding phone enabling. but it turns out his forwarding phone consistently working for I called his google voice last year more than once, unlike my google voice never received phone call in last year, hence google require to re-verify to enable it. I told my son we should soon seek a grocer near our public spa so as not to lack fruits on our diet. I pray God grant me budget for the delicious food. my son now a considerable smart teenage, but he still hijacked by his sinful mother, who relentlessly challenged me and my parenthood. I warned my son not to frequent hospital, but last sunday soon after we returned from spa, he was arbitrarily brought by his mom left their house, left me alone updating his linux. they likely haunted eye hospital for my son's sight, on which the small woman recently fantastically obsessed. I told my son I day by day upset by Chinese teachers. they killing creativeness and smother orthodoxy. what a low moral they wholely obtained! even worsen than PRC government employee! God, dad, a new month starts yesterday, when we enjoyed downtown hostel pork steak so much. this month my credit debt again near 600 CNY. help me clear our debt and deal our daily budget lightly. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for spring 2018 just budding new life and hope of life. bring my son his enjoyed game and ready office space he will step in with affirmative. thx God dad.

Mar 23, 2018

dreamt tutoring a kid playing game, in which there is a scene of lofty gate, player has to climb up to get reward to continue the game. later dreamt of math exam, on which I always reluctant to touch while my son seemingly excels in dream. its a pale morning. after a busy week preparing migrate my work space from acer chromebook to dell chromebook, this week I mostly resting. the solution expanding chromeOS side by side with linux works perfectly for me, with installing a tool crouton under chromeOS dev mode, I now enjoy security of google ChromeOS and versatile open world of linux, which so powerful and robust. Reviewing my clumsy linux experience so far, I see clearly windows losing. Bill Gates in half century spend half world wealth to improve world health and poverty is invalid. Its no hatred, but discipline or natural giveup Holy spiritual glad to see. Now Trump sees it, and Gates persuading USA president to continue to adopt the fake savior. God, world at large, esp abnormal humans desperate for their abnormal world staged so many ugly shows including obesity, LGBT, anti-society, etc. there are so many abused food/drug eaters in developed countries while average people encounter hanger everyday. Killing in mid east mostly exchange for food, but so many unfair between healthier living and sick food/sex/drug addictive. God dad, the Earth citizen needs merit based cleanse, like Trump’s new migration law. If man can’t live a healthy life, lives him hell. So does to drug esp opium takers, and breed racers. US entertainment circle stealth too much applause and selling too much cheap and unhealthy idols. USA esp weak democrats promoted too much cheap democratic notion upon world among which quite some disqualifies, esp hate culture and competing in breed nations, like Africa and Mideast. World crisis now mostly due to cheap human cattle, which noway to preceding nor prioritize animal and grand nature. cheap hurts but decency nutritious. A society can’t self-rely nor self-sufficient, a nation wiped from its land like Mideast. But Europe and USA still missing rule Israel learns thousand years, they let enemies inside. God dad, its a new salary day now, but yet QRRS release my salary so far. Yesterday I review my near 2 decades in QRRS Dorm, my youth and loving among PRC most exciting era, so called open policy period when PRC penniless but polite peasants adopted to work mills by Capital American buyers, on the land my ancestor bestowed. I saw my old friends here and found their hidden gay. I found my seeking family esp offspring efforts in all my half life, on this fresh land I chosen to pick up and grow upon to polarize. God dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko. Grant us offspring new to Royal China. Blessing me new monument to develop zhone web. After workday I will fetch my son visiting my dorm monthly, permits us joyful reuniting this afternoon. Thx God dad.

[be21zh]

Mar 11, 2018

Dreamt in class where my once junior middle school language teacher offering his lecture. While his speech too boring I cheated to cover my reading my own material. When he stepped down to check our listening, my heart beat heavier. But fortunately he didn’t found under my text book there was another book I hid my pleasure. I felt shameless the middle aged male teacher demands students so much to catch his lesson up while his teaching so boring and meaningless. This week half waiting my alumnus’ aid which never happened to buy my own another chromebox. I previously planned to equip my son a new convertible chromebook, but on Wednesday I was attracted by chromebox which cheaper and its ethernet interface card more powerful than a wireless card. I was inspired by the idea and pains brewing me in wanting upon which I knew on my own I can’t realize. So I resorted to my senior middle school alumni for fundraising 2000 CNY. One of them once the best scored and enrolled by most privileged PRC university, Beijing Univ, and visited my campus in Tianjin and slept my bed, to whom a year ago I entreated for aiding me to flying to visit my kid brother in southern China and got his ambiguous refusal. So this time I thought there was still cherished memories in our friendship, and his job likely earns much more than mine, for his major is international law or economics and worked in stock market after graduate. But this time, 1000 CNY as I expected solely, he again refused me and blacklist me without any word exchange, after my 4 sms and 3 buzzes sinked. I didn't bother contacting any other alumni after the denial. In the day after International Women Day, a snow continued after days break in my clueless reaching out. I still didn’t understand after looking into why someone put money before friendship and moral kindness. Is PRC economy turns harsher day by day for the once academic leader turned so mean? Or my enviable cyberspace harvest in a decade's blogging as well as holy missionary under God’s shine turns the wellbeing alumnus hatred and bitter to turn his back indecently to me? After the refusal I busy yesterday all day on my raspberry pi, preparing it more liable and useful. God sharpen my sight that my workspace already spacious and reliable, after all attempts constraining. In this dawn I felt hard to sleep, and bliss ahead so thick. So I got up before 6am to blog, for today would be a blessing exciting day with my son, woz, in our busy agenda learning and studying. Dad God, in your holy guide I got to know weakness among highly succeeded people include my alumni. Guard me to steer through wasteland in PRC where cheap souls compete to extinguish heroism. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko for clearer vision in eastern Asia landscape. Grant us happy weekend reuniting as usual.

Mar 6, 2018

dreamt my publishing career gets happy ending: my novel published or my literature awarded. my passed mother accompanied me to return to my hometown, where new houses building. quite some villagers congratulated me while myself also enjoy my success: my narrative style studied by scholar and critic. This is a sunny morning. I still feel not prepared to utter anything. Last week is interesting: I first time settle up arch linux, whose heavy command based renew my experience of Microsoft dos decades ago. Linux really amazing! And by chance we also experienced raspbian, another wonderful linux distribution. Both speedy on our raspberry pi 3, which turns into a full functional pc from educational toy. I really enjoy the gadget. Arch linux so impressive that I decided to install it after my old chromebook’s EOL met. This breakfast is satisfying, while the operative man frequently coughed and spit during serving let me anxious his illness infectious. His wife promised to wash my clothes but likely now the task shifted to a mid aged woman works there. They kept my dirty clothes for 3 weeks there intact. And yesterday the woman washing claimed she brought my clothes home to wash, not within the dorm nor its canteen. So they cheat me, and let my clothes more vulnerable to virus, privacy more looser. God dad, this week my alipay credit debt amounts to near 700 CNY, help me in these 2 months, whose income usually inclines lower due to corporate earning less after lazy lunar holiday. Dad God, time turns much harder to kill in my aging, my life more miserable in waiting, waiting for gathering, waiting for glories, even waiting for a better meal with my son. Bring me sooner my Royal China, bring me sooner my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, to accomplish my earth life. Grant us another child, whose cyberspace I preparing since last year, billingzhu.com. Thx dad God.

Mar 1, 2018

dreamt doubting printing technology, how woodblock picture prints color accurately represented by oil. then through a magic hole, I entered a legendary world where I turned from tiny figure to a hero with sword to revenge. he refused help but judge by his own to murder his historical enemies. I was astonished by dangers and thrills in the master protagonist encountered in his brave world. Lunar 2018 first snow lasted 2 days. This morning when I went to dorm canteen for breakfast, its cover much thicker than yesterday. Quite some dorm administrative women outdoor cleaning road. Its so beautiful! And my breakfast is satisfying, esp sugar pie served first time after spring festival holiday. The day before yesterday, I worked continuously near 40 hours to rebuild portable workspace on my ssd and raspberry pi. After successfully got new oses ready and backups sound, I slept in chair when watching episode which lagging due to internet under PRC surveillance. In the night I slept sound, till next noon I got up directly to canteen for lunch. PRC tyrant attempted to rewrite rubber constitution to pave for his life time dictation, which arouse large scale debate among Chinese as well as world stage. Chinese people usually begging their living tiny space, not much social storm. But the communist tyrant wanted to humiliate Chinese now that the rubber constitution didn’t ban unconditional ruling power, as ghost communism put into fake republic leader. Chinese is a tribe that respects their interface. But their harmonious face torn by shameless power stealth tyrant now dominating the stage, who also challenges all PRC citizen with its death or wealth for last bet. Chinese in long brutal conflicts with nomad and historic lessons taught them not to expect government to good behaves but this time its fate again put in attest, God or Godless, Jesus or their folk pantheon. Review last decade’s poor western China gang’s public show on PRC lawless cheap square, I felt much sure that holy spirit leaves me prepared for monkey mimics carnival for superficial glory. Their social achievement and economic robbery turning PRC a hell of prey and nightmare of smash of minimal, failing most sinful Chinese indifferent of their outer space but their tiny live sphere, bloodless hatch and hopeless survivor. God, dad, its a sunny morning now. Yesterday I talked with my son online for arrangement of last dining out celebrating the end of spring festival. Bring me sooner my Royal China, and my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for the rest of my earth life. Bring me with my son new study of arch linux and new ultra convertible chromebook. Grant us a smooth year for steady growth, and larger web of world democracy of sustainable.

Feb 21, 2018

First dreamt of my university alumni, Wenxiong, who recently has been a bureaucracy in his hometown province, Hunan. Then I brought my son following someone in night street. My son asked for snack then slept in my arms. I felt so sweet and full of live meanings with him. Then dream we in a wedding ceremony team moving to some places, half way we passed a relatives’ village where 2 cousin girls debated with me in English and trying attracting me or condemned my keeping single so far. Their kindness left me relaxed. This is lunar new year 6th day. Still there are firecrackers explode in air, far away. Yesterday I felt hungry after 2 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent me, so I lately around 5pm ate some rices & dumplings in nearby restaurant and felt satisfied. Tomorrow I will brought my son dine out buffet, where I hope I can eat more. The dorm administrative woman said QRRS will resume to work on next Monday, while national holiday arrangement online claims tomorrow will be workday. My younger brother buzzed me dusk before eve of lunar new year when I jogging and missed his call. When I called back twice, he refuted it. He is posing to ignore me to feed his ego. All my old family, ie, my elder siblings, called by me once before lunar new year. None of them call back. In the lunar holiday I didn’t feel lonely, but enjoy quite sometimes solitude and joyful bountiful of time space. Internet in those days especially stable and usually I let podcast playing all day long. USA gun control debate after massive school shooting arouse students protest didn’t bother me. I saw many familiarity between Chinese 8964 event and what’s on US. Young lives and social motivation on large scale don’t move me much. I more confident in God’s bliss, which more making sense in believing life, from naive souls. God, dad, these days starving left me more close to Christian calendar, and world in crisis of food and water, and separation they bring about with hatred and murders. In this view I am ready for selective survival, out of brutality and cleanse large scale among human cattle. Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China in better world under Christian, bring my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for life sustainable and gracious.

[be21zh]

Feb 15, 2018

last night too beautiful to miss, that I lingered in front of computer lately around 11am. in mid night dreamt my once colleagues, a technician deputy director with 2 once and life long students who moved department with him to forge their territory. I dreamt they researched logic, one of my university subject majoring philosophy, to calculate their profit and loss. lunar spring festival eve is today. before it all my projected tasks done smoothly, esp renew our beautiful domains 3rd times or 4 times. first time aided by my nephew to migrate from godaddy to dynadot for cheaper price of renewal, then asked help from my elder brother to renew most endangered one, woz.fm, before its price increase month later. 3rd renewal carried last Wednesday as planned long time after new registrar dynadot offers facility to renew more years among zuo.center and others, aided by February salary released earlier than usual from QRRS, my once and long term employer. now all zhone domains sustained after year 2022. that's wonderful task accomplished in lunar 2017. now I intended enrolling foremost task, renewal of zho.io, which allow more 5 years to subscript on platform of dynadot. with the investment, all zhone domain ownership will extend to 2025, or so. I hope it is a rewarding investment, even under possible seizure dangerous PRC tyrant dwelt around thousand times. God, dad, how I contented with my intelligent properties after these sweating year buffeted by poverty and baseless. zhone portal also gathering audience, adsense earning turns more regular even far from profitable. dad God, my pension can be meaningless, esp in debt mounting PRC government as well as dark perspective of administrative deficit, but can I survive the ruin of tumor of ghost communism CCP's reign? can I survive peace and protected interest my building Empire even in its early phrase while with my heart and sweat? I still have near 40,000 CNY credit debt to Chinese banks, one of them, ccb, threatened to law sue last week. dad God, where I can assure my establishment cyberspace under holy warranty, as burnout disease of CCP and tyranny PRC into ash before its arson trying cling to us? dad God, direct me in paved lane to safe breakthrough before smothering dying hard PRC collapse fatally. my lunar 2018 can be more energetic with safety of capitalism in PRC in fact, whose on stage last surge sucking partisan and bureaucratic cadres shamelessly seize the ultramost from sick society, prey of civilian. yesterday I ate 4 box of instant noodles my younger brother sent from southern China, his small mill. they are quite tasty. when I went jogging routinely, I obviously felt dragging belly, and heart pumping heavier. dad, God, in my life I missed delicacy so much, even larger amount of beautiful girl souls, but I was remained slim and healthier appetite so far. God, guide me toward my new family, where my 2nd child can glorifies my earth life. bring me sooner my Royal China, bring Asoh Yukiko, my Crown Queen from Japan, for joy matters more. grant us sooner approach the anxious free peak where our domains consolidate like the world map, well recognized and vivid as atmosphere.

Feb 10, 2018

dreamt in my hometown preparing to return university, or just enrolled by university. my elder brother and my mom prepared me package and anxious about train ticket. I had seven or eight files need to unpack, to answer a quiz, in which explains a Chinese word, all family happy 阖家欢乐. I myself relentless, doubting first settle 2nd or the first tour's booking, for the destiny needs 2 transference. today likely first day of lunar spring festival in PRC and my fasting period: dorm canteen in vacation now, likely till 2 weeks or 3 later to resume. my younger brother sent 4 parcels from his southern China of ready food which quite relieves my anxious budget for the holiday. last night the dorm canteen also treated me with a more delicious dinner, includes pork and squid. there were lots of hopelessly stupid Chinese aside road burning fake money for their passed relatives on way my jogging after dinner. I had to cover my eyes with sleeves still got dirt in eyes. these week busy with overcoming obstacle harsher PRC surveillance imposed. I also prepared my son woz new opener wifi for his coming party with his cousins from his mom's relatives visiting the lunar holiday. PRC dog system closely watched it: when I print a board of wifi confidential in a local small print house, soon 2 men likely cops join the shop till my left. when I deleted my backup image online of the board, my internet shut down at once for more than 6 hours, till now my usual vpn had problem to connect. review the stupid holiday I feel more convinced that's a absurd event of Chinese culture: it boosts blind trifle celebration, hatred against neighbor and social harmony. human fed by God's mercy, rather than foolish harvest which lunar spring festival signalizes. spring festival at its best encourages laziness and paralyzing of society, running norm of civilization, fear of scattered corporation. in the week I also received poverty aid from QRRS, my once and long time employer, 300 CNY in cash and 500 into debit card. it helps me relieve debt burden to dorm canteen, alipay credit including installment. now my only curiosity is my younger brother's promised gift to renew our 2 dearer domains. if I can deposit 100 CNY in my ABC and Bankcomm debit account for remaining their alive, I will regretless starting lunar new year. recent night I also research alternative chromebook, now that my acer chromebook will reach its end of life in google support term. I want to equip woz an ultra convertible chromebook, with google play embedded. then I can convert my retired one into a linux notebook. the plan is faultless, hopefully after my installment with alipay credit finished and ready for new one. God, dad, feed me in the enduring lunar holiday as homeless. bring me sooner my Royal China, and Asoh Yukiko for real celebration season. grant us 2 rich meals in holiday when I fetch my son to dine out. help me reach end of spring festival sooner, risk free. thx, dad God.

Jan 22, 2018

dreamt of holiday at my hometown. we visited our relatives in neighbor village, where I was bitten by ants. they painlessly gathered herds all over my body. my brother-in-laws, sisters help me after I showered to check if I was cleaned, around a camp fire before leaving the village. some neighbor kids also watched. they put on me so many clothes that I took off many time to assure sanity. the ants' bites likely drained bloods, no pains at all, their size is smaller. I was a bit in panic. Last week too beautiful to miss. My son visited my dorm last Friday, when we worked together trying fix his problem with eclipse C++ compiling. His mom arranged him learning programming lesson, which likely just sending him some slideshow. I tried to introduce him ubuntu & eclipse. But I seldom had expertise on eclipse. So I have to put more efforts to ensure my son's interest as well as familiarity with the IDE, till he really works with the tool, leaving his windows counterpart, dev c++ as his teacher adopted, no where. We almost fix compiling until my son tried more on his own programming codes then compiling errors missing component, which clueless for us. So next day I searched web for more tutorial ebooks to download. I in fact gained some copies of pirated ebooks, and I prepared reader on my son's ubuntu aiming to his reference readily. God dad, help my son find his joy in programming, and persistent on doing his things right & joyful. In the same night my son ported in my dorm, my salary released, ￥4276, such a surprise that we both glad. With it I renewed woz's domain, woga.me to its maximal years godaddy allows. Next day, ie. Sunday, I reset & setup again our google home mini, for unsatisfied by restriction non-English user inherits within google home app. This time I got online chat aid from google, which assured me none GPS discrimination but just Language determines user interface and more choices within, say voice matching, optional voice male or female. We finally got human voice option, more voice commands available after switched to English on our nexus. Its such a huge success that we both glorified. We then dined in downtown hotel restaurant where we absent for 3 weekends, partially their service less attracting. But this time we fed well, porks delicious and enough. In salon I offered ￥20 as tips for wonderful service there, and last time they resumed my missing renewal there, as gratitude. After shower in public spa, I found our cyber shopping, an amazon China parcel due to arrive last Wednesday delayed so far, arrived. Another order, 2 cushions from taobao.com arrived same day. My son was brought by his mom to check his eyesight, so I brought 2 parcels lately around 6pm to visit my son again. My son looking out for the rechargeable batteries badly and we cheer up with the new stock of batteries. Its such a nice day that in the night I gave up episodes watching as reconciliation upon PRC surveillance heavily blocking online from shifting away poor PRC domestic culture products. Dad God, this blessing morning what can compare with your mercy in my situation? Dad God, bring me sooner my Royal China for final solution upon coming crisis in the world. Bring me my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for our offspring healthy & strong sanity.

[chinad]

In completion of 2017.

Dec 19, 2017

dreamt being friend of an English noble family, or Japanese host, ie their 2 boys and only daughter. first the boys showed me their real estate, and traditional kid practices around & in trench of their castle, which so beautiful, with yard and fence, and harvesting field with peasants nearby. I commented British buildings usually round shape while Chinese commodity residential block usually in slice alike. they also showed me their parties. then their only sister returned. the girl likely an artist, she put on me new shirt & introduced me to her party. when I prepared to performance and jumping from 2nd floor balcony to hall ground over awaiting crowd, my alarm woke me up. it's a warm dream, without pressure, esp the daughter cares me so much. this week still in wilder joys aid by alipay virtual credit. I try to prepare an installment with the credit, so I in urgency to spend near ￥1500 so as to mount to 2000 CNY installment. spending upon year end gifts really a breeze. I equipped dearest son a suite of SQAD winter uniform, including coat & pants, pricey ￥350. last night I spend another 120 on family photo book reviewing a decade golden memories, esp in woz's growth. for our domain registrar, godaddy defies the credit, I partially shift some deposit from monthly mobile data plan and spare cash for renewing our remnant 16 domains year end. but mobile fee recharging has limit set by the virtual credit, so I only allowed 400 CNY to transit. however, after these operations, I more confident that 2017 will complete without regret. past week also allows us enjoying benefit of goods, like my kid brother aided me a new Japanese style bed cushion, quite soft & warm & economic efficient, I praise it exceeding word. otherwise each morning esp chiller morning when I get up my bone hurts. our new google home mini first arrived amid our seasonal cyber gifts. it's so beautifully functional, enrich my son's spoken English & informative anytime empowered by the moral uplifting American corporate giant. we spend half hour to setup it, still my son at a loss for he was not left alone to accomplish the task. he wants now to carry independent workload on his own. that remind me how hard my situation can be in a tiny world our economy & social circumstance permits. my kid brother this time generously extended arms to me, likely last time our elder brother loaned me for domain renewal even in his hard time shamed him, and his aid grants us to upgrade our rechargeable batteries stock, which prepares us for more e-gadgets to harness even more wonderful modern living standard. God, dad, reviewing our situation, we felt so much blessed: our beneficence hinders nobody, our broad laugh shadows no one. while most renowned billionaires bow to PRC sinful tyrant, confronted by lawless deprivation and death penalty instead of standing clean, esp IT industry monopolies in rats' race. God dad, our anxious free growth might ceilied esp upon my offspring, but dearest God dad, is there anything we bestowed is not under your Holy Majesty warranty? grant us usual path, and merry heart forever, under shine & shrine. bring me sooner my Royal China, my Crown Queen from Japan, Asoh Yukiko, for broader future of our 2 nations. in our ancestors' forged link, we stand firmer on the eastern Asia now and then forever.

Dec 12, 2017

these weeks brewing shopping online for quite some times, empowered by alipay virtual credit. but unfortunately godaddy doesn't support it. so I ordered woz's new boot, google home mini as planned in this dawn. later I will buy myself tea whose deficit last months helplessly. In dawn dreamt of a respected elder, likely PRC general Liu Bocheng. he first in my dream appeared as a painter, who drew golden leaves with Chinese traditional calligraphic painting. then he linked 3 painted leaves in a line to forge a brush and drew more in batch likes painting software, painter which can animate painting procedure does. then some relatives of the elder appeared, claimed the renowned man never query the elapse of his old acquaintances, for he can grasp the information in solitude & void. after woke up I felt he must be old partner of Deng Xiaoping, General Liu. these days PRC surveillance turns more rampant, and insanely. last weekend it only deterred playing back & restricted sources available via lagging internet, but last night it shameless rip audio from online episodes real time stream, and reset cache building minutes each after 2 or 3 minutes, just aiming upset my watching experience. hatred in PRC, esp dogs arranged by tyranny let me sad sometimes recently, by their desperate, cheap and total equipped to teeth. nevertheless my son rejoiced after my analyses of adversity we were beset, after he felt insulted by my scorn when he refused counting cash for me when I handover bills to pay our spa groupon in front the counter. might he thought the ammount, ￥250, too small for his engagement, but I hoped he recount before shifting to cashier, for I just roughly fetched from my purse. but he move them directly to cashier with whom I natively didn't trust. my son got hurt and in next Saturday when we went cinema & bought Taiwanese sweet juice he refused to face cashier. I first puzzled by his refusal, blamed him shy to publicity. then I saw his attitude & reason behind. so in Sunday luncheon, I explained why I didn't put him as independent but a kid. we more or less reunited & the downtown hotel restaurant lunch is delicious. after showered & returned to his mom's house, I let him watch "Rick & Morty" while I massaged his feet. his sinful mom tentatively arranged her lesbian friend's son came over for her english tuition, then my son looked diligently to play steam game with the docile kid while his mom, also the cheating kid, posed to be too busy and left my son unfinished amid game playing. its all right God, dad, just let the bitch does her utmost sins trying tearing my son apart between beast & holy, hership vs fathership. God, dad, 2017 ends soon. grant us renew all 21 domains with bonus, my only source of surplus in bare living year long including boarding & lodging, spa, barber, monthly cinema, weekly dining out with woz, dearest son. grant us self-relying sooner my online portal of Royal China. bring me sooner my Crown Queen, Asoh Yukiko, for future ahead, for tomorrow reality in eastern Asia. protect zhone 21 domains in our title & promising in their far-sight & far reaching game changing. grant us merry Christmas & lunar new year!

Nov 30, 2017

dreamt editing video as my old career in QRRS cable TV. a piece of video abnormal & frequently freezed. I reported to leader that its likely encrypted. my once departmental leader, likely framed me and side watched for my clueless while playing Mahjong with his pals in the studio. but I checked carefully to assure its not damaged but encrypted, then gradually decrypted the video. after that I posted my resignation notice for the unfriend environment in which the boss conjected with departmental leader setup me in. last night I felt sad for our new registrar, dynadot, so irresponsible to fix its problematic dns setting rule. it domain root record defies matched field, say title and value, but just arbitrary single value. while zoho mail hosting SPF and let's encrypt ssl dns verification both need title "@" matching txt value field, otherwise the only txt value wouldn't be recognized, and verification halt to proceed. such a simple malfunction defied many users' operational inc mine, and caused many complains in its user community. but after near 3 months after my transferation from godaddy, I yet saw fix at all. the boss of the company shows his leisure time with his pet dog in his pool on social media. this reminds me their less concerns with their product on which I deeply hope I can firmly cling to, after departed from godaddy which more intelligent and powerful esp dns setting, just in one shortcoming, too expensive & bargain needed in renewal. I hope our new registrar, dynadot, responsible, steady, but new found let the assumption shakeable. God dad, why domain registry so thin in scale of intellectual property, why is it so easy to be a domain registrar with such a problematic product while remains open service? it shakes my faith in American corporate moral, and traditional Chinese, esp from Taiwan, as dynadot founder is a Taiwanese, more equipped with merit of hard working and emotional smarter. On Tuesday our ordered ssd from taobao arrived. but last mile express, contractor Yuantong express failed to deliver. I buzzed the agent according sms noticement and the man claimed he no longer in the job for days. so I visited local office of the contractor a bus stop away. the small office jammed with parcels. 2 women there helped me find my package after a quarter's scrutiny. Yuantong once had a wonderful service, speedy & well organized, but now seemingly in deconstruction. for its too earlier to fetch my son from his school, I lingered awhile in KFC local franchise, now under PRC native brand. there I found my alipay virtual credit, 花呗, resumes my limit from freeze. I paid a KFC groupon via the payment tool in a blink. that's so exciting even before I went to bed hours later, I still felt shocking satisfaction. I need credit so badly. in next days I wondered what credit is and how it can facilitate my life, I took granted that it only encourages installment. so this month I will equip my son & my own 3 items, woz's new boot, google home mini, and my tea, all in one installment and hopeful year end bonus will pay the bill eventually. God, dad, enlive quality service in American Chinese startup, esp established corporations like dynadot. bring me fruitful usage of credit. bring me my Royal China, my Crown Queen Asoh Yukiko for better management of monetary. grant me constructive credit adoption, and booming business my online portal empowers.

Nov 27, 2017

retrospect last week, it elapsed so peaceful. but in fact I burning for the coming salary which turned out extraordinarily surprising. previously I thought the year end most financially demanding tasks completed with 2 loans from my old hometown relatives, ie my sisters & brother. but suddenly my vpn service informed me renewal due in couple days, exactly Nov 22. while recently my salary released usually on 19th monthly. so I took it easily. from 19th, Sunday, I looked out hopefully descending of salary till 22rd, Wednesday. everyday I prayed for solution. it was a sunny noon on 22rd Nov, 2017, I gave up canteen lunch and hope my last salvage. but it didn't. then I sought out with blessing resolution for dorm canteen's loan. they didn't refuse my appeal, offer ￥1000 at once. with it I immediately deposited in my icbc credit account. CCP surveillance blocked my trading attempts for a quarter, then went smoothly. my paypal strangely refused my payment, claiming verification failure. so I ditched it and paid via alipay, a mainstream electronic financial tool in PRC. my vpn vendor listed under its transaction log in alipay. might be that's what PRC surveillance demands in defying of my paypal which done last year perfectly. then most wanted salary release notification sms arrived: with year end bonus, I got 4420 CNY. I had previously doubted many times my budget & salary supporting gap, and thought I will save my purchase from returning less to bank credit, which already warned me insufficient pay back & possible sue over me. the main coming bill is my son's desktop os, ubuntu on a ssd usb drive, and gift sending to my nephew whose first child, a daughter just born. I had already refrained from gifting his wedding ceremony nearly year ago. so this time my congratulation really due to manifest. they both costs ￥300. with the powerful salary, I maintained last month pay back standard, 500 CNY each for ccb & psbc credit debt, while clear all my due liability among bills active in life, except debt to canteen loan adds more hundreds. but in the afternoon, when I handed over ￥1700 including 200 to pay a woman staff there for my laundry, the canteen operative woman and her husband accepted without complains. God, dad, what a wonderful moment after so many neck breaking anticipation! in the night I informed my son online the clearance of bills and claimed only left unfinished is donation annually to poor kids in China mountainous area, and bbn bible radio. but now, I want more: equipping my son woz a pair of new winter shoes to replace his wrecked one, and my tea deficit for months. my son's programming lesson arranged by his mom stepping in, my preparing his desktop environment is portable os on ssd udisk hopefully running on hardware of his old dell notebook and intel nuc in his lounge. dad God, let my son adopt my suggestion, first step to master typing via training tools from chrome store on his chromebook. grant me helpful and his prompt execution for remaining aid from powerful google & online courseware. I have almost no more debt in his education, nor in my online business, our portal for Royal China and democracy of China progressive. God dad, grant me another surge of spacious budget for renew our domains year end, nearly 15 domains left. grant us happier lunar new year, and Christmas 2017. thx for this clueless post in firm hint of publish in rest of recent elation.

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