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carlosxhook · 4 years ago

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The Law Of Total Madness ~ H.H

Pairing: Harry Hook x Reader (yes I wrote Got7 into this sue me) + (please don’t I’m broke 🤦‍♀️)

Y/N’s P.O.V

Being Chad Charming’s twin sister was an interesting occurrence, Ben being your best friend for your whole life and growing up around Chad expectation of the perfect sister was exhausting this was where you found your love for singing and dancing thanks to Ben. He also introduced you to your other best friend prince Yugyeom originally from Jypnation and 6 other his friends who made music together the 8 of you were always glued together, you stuck together and turns out it was good for you to get away from Chad he may of been your brother and yes you loved him but god was he unbearable! Even better the 8 of you talk in korean to confuse anyone trying to ease drop Princess love to be some nosey bitches, you were a hip hop dancing, princess role breaking rebellious free soul and Chad HATED that. Perhaps the icing on the cake was that you were secretly dating a Scottish pirate, the only son of Captain Hook, the love of your life Harry Hook. It happened when you and Ben were kidnapped with Ben after convincing him you should go with him for “protection” when really you just wanted to wag chemistry class they kept you and Ben seperate and you and Harry ended up in a long make out session about 15 minutes before the most epic battle you’d ever witnessed, Ben announced that after 6 months since Dizzy, The Twins and Celia came to auradon that 3 more vks would be coming over! Hoping it would be Harry, Uma and Gil you talked to Gil while ‘kidnapped’ you two were close it was nice he seemed genuinely like a good guy, it was nice that he’s loyal to his crew and today was the day they were to arrive. Ben, Chad, Mal, Carlos, Jay, Evie, Doug and I were all gathered around waiting for them to show them around and such, the limo pulls up and all three vks get out my chest gets tight thinking about seeing him again yeah we starting “being a thing” very quickly but I liked him a lot I knew that much “Welcome to Auradon” Ben smiles “Try not to break anything” Chad snarls and I smack him over the head earning a deep chuckle from Harry as he smirks at me “it’s very colourful here” Gil smiles he’s too pure omg “well I would love too stay and help but I promised NaNa I’d be at practice 10 minutes ago, it was lovely too see you all again.” I wave before running off towards the school dance hall and quickly issuing magic to get changed into a red crop top and some high waisted black shorts with black converse, damn I was too cute for my own good sometimes, poor Chad never got any magic my parents had me enchanted when I was little so I could protect myself.

Harry’s P.O.V

“I apologise for Princess Y/N’s departure she’s preparing for a very important event and competition as a representative for Auradon, if any of you need her she’s typically in the dance hall!” Ben hints looking towards me it’s not like her and I were seriously anyways, yeah I liked her, a lot but I’d barely say I thought about her. That’s a lie everyday that stupidly gorgeous girl plagued my mind and she just runs off before I can have her in my arms again, how selfish? Does she even still care about me, about us, we had a connection fuck I knew feelings and l..l...lov that l word made you weak, how pathetic I thought I had a happily ever after.

We go through the entire of auadorn and finally reach the Dance Hall we hear loud music coming from within and I peek in seeing Y/N practicing “let’s watch!” Ben opens the door and we stand at the back my eyes fixated on the gorgeous girl dancing her heart out, “she’s gonna win” Chad laughs at Gils proud statement “please who does she think she is this isn’t the isle she should be in a castle or locked in a tower” Chad snorts “I’m sorry say that again Princey” I growl “cool it” I hear Uma whisper “you wanna get found out huh” she follows. “He’s an ass” I mutter focusing back on the events in front of me Y/N walking towards us with a big smile “what did you think?” She asks as her sparkling eyes meet mine before Chad can even open his mouth I reply “Ye did very good indeed” winking at the now blushing princess “anyways” she chirps “we need 3 more female dancers to back up Yugyeom and I’s duo for the competition, because as much as I’d love too see Jackson, Mark and BamBam in skirts with wigs and heels... I don’t wanna frighten the audience” she giggles looking behind her at the 7 boys now making their way over once they reach us the throw Y/N a questioning look before speaking in what I can only assume in another fucking language.

Y/N’s P.O.V

I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss Harry I did and as much as I wanted to run into his arms and breathe in his scent and glory I know I can’t, I lean over to Uma to get closer to Harry “Hey Uma, I don’t know if ben told you but we are sharing a room, I’m barely ever in my dorm so don’t worry I won’t bother you!” I smile and she just scoffs she’s not the biggest fan of me I mean she did kidnap Ben and I after all, I couldn’t blame her though the Isle was shocking I would wanna get out too I am kinda thankful cause of it I found Harry. That was if he still even liked me, I heard from Mal he’s a player and no good that he flirted with anything that moved I mean one of the old exchange students Nana did that too, and he was harmless I was just hoping Harry’s flirting was too.

“Yugyeom, can we finish I wanna show em to the dorms?” I smile to the fluffy haired boy sweat dripping down his white shirt making it slightly see through “only this once ya, usually I’m the one to try cut practice shorty” he laughs “sweet, don’t forget we go all day tomorrow with the boys!” I point to our 6 other friends and wave shooting them a wink before turning around seeing everyone but the pirates had left “well I’ll shall show you to your rooms I guess” I lead the way to the dorms it’s a bit awkward and the silence burns.

“So Y/N” Gil cuts the air “what’s this competition?” He smiles coming and placing an arm around me I hear Harry growl but I just let Gil rest his arm on me “well it’s a multi-kingdom performance competition, we must sing and dance and the winner’s kingdom hosts a massive party and a heap of important musical performers come for all necks of the woods too play and come watch!” I smile getting excited just thinking about it “Yugyeom and I have a duo, I have a solo and so does he, then a boy group performance and then a girl group performance if we win 3/5 of the categories Auradon will host its first ever K fest, it’ll be amazing!” I stop abruptly “our duo performance is gonna be the best we’ve ever done, and we’ve done a lot” I chuckle “anyways this is the boys dorm 701 Gil and Harry are here and then just down the all at 690 is where Uma will be if y’all need her. Your belongings will be inside for you if you need anything please don’t hesitate to ask” I turn around and walk to my room Uma in tow “so Y/N, been a while huh?” She laughs “indeed it has, how’re you feeling about all this?” I ask pointing around “it’s where I’ve always wanted to get my crew, I got Gil and Harry here, now I need to work on the rest” I see a glint of sadness in her eyes “I’m only really here because I care about those boys and they don’t deserve to rot on an island, yeah they’re dicks and trouble but they’re loyal to me so I am loyal to them, they fight for me so I fight for them. Always!” I was shocked Uma was really caring I didn’t expect this side of her “I’m only telling you this because I know you and Harry are a thing” she pays my back “wait we still are?” I ask hopeful “yeah, the moment he gets you alone he’ll be all over you like a hungry wolf, watch ya back” she laughs I take a deep breath “thank you Uma I wasn’t sure he even still knew me” I lay on my bed and my stomach grubmles “girl you’re so busy dancing you don’t eat” Uma scolds “come on” she grads my hand “were getting you some food!” Running out the door she takes me too the kitchen and starts making food “I used to have make chips all the time at the shop, so hopefully Auradon sir makes them taste better than the grubby isle ones” she scoffs “Uma, can I ask something?” I nervously fiddle “sure princess what’s up?” She says cutting up potatos “Did Harry’s father ever abuse him?” She seems taken aback “it’s just I remember telling Harry I’d stay behind he just had to pretend he had me at sword point, and he said he’d never even pretend to do such a thing because he wasn’t his father.” I wipe a few tears I was confused was Harry harmful “Harry gets his father’s temper or therefore lack of, he had outbursts, I’m sure he’ll still have them, yes to put it shortly his father before he was in the crew would often abuse him. But it wasn’t uncommon, not in the isle love is a weakness.” “Then am I weak for loving him no matter what Uma” why was I even opening up to her “no because I think you could be good for him, just don’t turn him” she jokes “or I’ll use this” she holds her shell out “yes captain!” We laugh. “Maybe finally having a roommate won’t be so bad aye” I smile as she cooks Uma might actually be a really great friend and she knows more about Harry than anyone else maybe Hook and I could work.

*The Next Day*

“Those boys I swear are always late” I mutter to no one in particular “now what’s a gorgeous girl like you doing standing ‘ere all alone?” My heart jumps hearing his voice again “Hi Harry” I turn around smiling “ye know isle got boring without a princess to kiss” she smirks “is that so, awe Harry did you miss me” I joke about he moves closer “believe me or not love, I actually did. Let’s say you left a bit of a mark on me so to speak” I giggle “now come here babe” I pull him in for a long and heated kiss “Lovely doing business with ye princess” he smirks spinning around and walking out. What the actual fuck was that, what is he playing at I’m not just some toy, I turn on the music and start dancing to Bonnie & Clyde by Dean nothing can distract me not even Harry.

Harry’s P.O.V

I fucked it up I panicked and played fuck boy player again the confident fascade is what I’m know by I must keep it up, show no emotion, no weakness. Sorry princess. It’s just how I am.

I walk to uma’s room and knock on the door “yeah what” I hear her shout “it’s me” and like that the door flies open “Where’s Gil?” She questions “running round with Jay apparently they’re besties or whatever I’m just letting the dog loose” I plop myself down on the princess’ bed “geez Auradon beds are comfy” I sigh “I don’t think your little girlfriend would appreciate your smelly leather and metal scent over her sheets” Uma jokes “not me girlfriend” I point out “I’d watch it if I were you then, she gushed on about that Yugyeom boy for a very long time, of she ain’t yours surely she’ll be his I mean they’re never not together.” As if on cue in walks Y/N “Hey Uma did you see where I put my tablets, the ones with the orange jar, I’ve got a massive headache.” She rubs her head still unaware I’m laying on her bed “yeah left hand side of the bathroom counter top” she smiles did I miss something what are they all of a sudden so... friendly...

“Thank you so much oh and by the way I’ll be back late tonight so don’t wait up I’ll sneak in, Yugyeom and I have to rehearse til late cause Ben wants to come watch us and make sure it’s all good” I watch as she leaves then I close my eyes and drift off too sleep surprisingly.

“Harry wake up omg” I hear as I open my eyes too see Uma standing above me “what?” I ask rubbing me eyes then picking up me hook “get off of Y/N’s bed and wake up she’s gonna be here soon” she scoffs “surely she wouldn’t mind a handsome looking lad in her bed waiting for ‘er” I laugh.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“Ben I don’t really understand?” I question “you want us... to kiss?” I point between Yugyeom and I “yes the chemistry is there I’m telling you it’s the winning touch, the performance is so dynamic it just needs the big ending, it’ll leave everyone shocked, stunned and more importantly it shows how well you work together.” The king smiles “are you sure this is a good idea?” He’s gone crazy completely mad oh this is not going to end well “let’s call it a day you two need to eat and back again tomorrow for more practice” Ben smiles holding the door open for us both, “he’s not serious right Y/N” Yugyeom whispers “I hope he’s not, but something tells me he is, it’s fine gyu we are the best this is nothing!” I smile placing a hand on his shoulder “what about that boy?” He asks in a small voice “we aren’t dating he made that very clear, who cares this is our dream we are so close!” I smile side hugging him and briefly laying my head on his “fighting!!” I smile before grabbing his hand and walking to my dorm he always walks me to the door of my room when we practice late “Thanks Yugyeom!” I smile “let’s work hard tomorrow!” I hug him really tightly saying goodbye and open the door to find Uma working on something and Harry asleep on my bed “I don’t remember ordering a strange man in my bed, Uma I think this ones for you.” I point to the pirate passed out on my bed “he’s been like that for hours, I don’t think he’s sleeping at night” Uma shrugs “I’ll be back I have to go try round up Gil watch the scot” I laugh before going to change clothes in the bathroom I walk out no more than 10 minutes later and he’s still there snoring away. “Harry I told you if you were struggling to come find me” I play with his hair and carefully remove the hook placing it right next to my bed I grab the spare blanket from the cupboard and put it over him and when I go to walk away I hear “Please, just stay with me love” he says almost way too soft “I’ll explain later just please” I notice he’s shaking must be nightmares or ptsd “it’s okay Harry I’m right here, I’m always gonna be okay” I smile placing a soft kiss on his forehead and jumping into the free slither of bed he’s left much for my surprise he moves and pulls me close with his arm around my stomach before I know it I’m fast asleep.

Harry’s P.O.V

I woke up and there she was in my arms and it felt right, it felt like nothing could ruin this moment until once again I panicked I’m not used to feeling this I grab my hook and leave her all alone, pangs if guilt hit me but I ignore them I’m a pirate the best one I don’t need feelings they make you weak and I will never be weak. I will make my father proud he will call me his son and I’ll finally have a family, I don’t need some stupid princess to distract me.

Y/N’s P.O.V

I woke up alone in my bed with nothing left but the memory and slight scent of metal and the ocean, or was it leather? Doesn’t matter now he used me again and I let him, I need to watch myself no distractions that would discredit all of Yugyeom and I’d hard work I’m letting Harry ruin this for me. That being said another day another practice T-minus 1 week until we gotta rock this competition he’s obviously gotta work himself else I ain’t here for his amusement ugh, today there’s a big school meeting where we perform some songs as a taster for the school and our sister school (team) Ateez High are sending over their recruits to perform, I can’t wait we have had these prepared forever so we got this in the bag.

{Might do a series on this one, kinda proud my first imagine for Harry Hook x Y/N reader I had to add something kpop okay just bear with me! Got a few requests so I’ll be getting right into them⚡️🤍}

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echoes-of-the-clockwork · 4 years ago

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Book One: Gold (Prompto x Reader) Chapter IV

When Prompto woke up the next morning, he opened his eyes with a small groan. Feeling a familiar warmth, he looked down to see (Y/n) curled up against him. He had one arm slung across her waist, unsure of when he first put it there. He peered into the sleeping girl's face before looking around the room. Noctis was still fast asleep while Ignis and Gladio were gone.

After checking once more to see if the prince was asleep, Prompto scooted closer towards (Y/n) and tightened his arm around her waist. He moved his other arm around to the back of her head, cradling it against his chest. Lowering his head, he pressed his lips against the top of her head. "(Y/n), I...I..."

The guardian inhaled deeply as her eyes fluttered open. "What is it, Prom?"

Prompto shrieked in surprise and quickly removed his arms. "N-Nothing..."

She sighed, pushing herself up into a sitting position. "You've been acting weird ever since yesterday. What's the deal?"

"Really, it's nothing!"

"Like I said, you're a bad liar..." She hopped off the bed. "Are you embarrassed from touching me? If so, I don't understand why because you've had no issues before. You scared the others are gonna catch you and tease you?"

"Maybe just a little," he mumbled.

"Well, how about we get a separate room then? That way, you can touch me all you like."

Prompto swallowed nervously, tugging at the collar of his shirt with his finger. "You make it sound so dirty, (Y/n)..."

"I'm not the one thinking dirty thoughts. Get your head out of the gutter."

"I-I am not thinking anything dirty!"

"Whatever you say, Prom," the girl giggled at him before stalking towards him. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and tilted his head upward before leaning down and pressing her lips against his forehead. "Consider this your good morning kiss since you gave me one."

His cerulean eyes widened. "You were awake?"

"It's what woke me up."

He stared into her eyes, enjoying her touch as her thumbs trailed across his cheeks. His fingers twitched, itching to touch her. However, he held himself back.

"Now then," (Y/n) removes her hands from his cheeks, causing him to groan in disappointment, "Let's do some exploring!" She grabbed his hand and yanked him off the bed, dragging him out of the hotel without disturbing Noctis.

Prompto and (Y/n) wandered the streets of Lestallum. Their first stop was the marketplace. They browsed the many wares, coming to a stop in front of a stall selling small chocobo charms. The marksman nearly stumbles over his own feet in his haste to take a closer look. Luckily, the girl caught him before he could fall.

He picked up the yellow chocobo charm and admired it. "This would totally look amazing with the bracelet."

She glanced at the charm he was holding. "It does match the gemstone. Why not buy it?"

Prompto was about to pull out some gil, but stopped himself. Even though he loved chocobos, he felt the purchase would be childish. "Nah, I should really spend my gil on something that's useful."

(Y/n) could read the blonde easily. He was an open book to her. "Oh, c'mon, Prom! Spoil yourself once in a while. Besides, it only cost 10 gil. It'll also add some flare to the bracelet."

"Mmm..." He analyzed the charm closer, feeling his resolve shaking. After contemplating for a few seconds, he gave in. "Okay, I'll buy it." He handed over ten gil to the merchant, earning a thanks from the man. He handed his camera over to the girl so he could put the new charm on his bracelet. Once it was securely in place, he smiled. "Ooh, I'm really diggin' it!"

The guardian elbowed him playfully in the side. "Told ya~!" She handed him back his camera. "Let's see what else this place has to offer."

Continuing to browse the market, they found many ingredients that would interest Ignis. They also found more souvenirs for sale, but none of them caught their eye.

(Y/n) and Prompto left the marketplace and wandered the streets before making their way to the outlook. There, the boy took many photos of the scenery while the spirit casted her gaze upward when hearing a voice from above. She couldn't make out what they were saying, deciding to ignore them.

Just then, a flash caught her attention. Her head snapped in the direction the flash came from and saw Prompto with his camera pointed at her. "Did you just take my picture?"

He lowered his camera. "Maybe..."

She huffed out a chuckle. "You should save your pictures for someone who's worthy."

"You are the most worthy and beautiful person of being photographed. It'd be a shame if I missed my opportunity to snap a pic of you. If I could, I'd post your picture everywhere!" Prompto smiled, but it quickly fell when he realized what he just said. It rolled off his tongue with ease without a single thought. He raised his camera and used it to hide his faint blush. "I-I mean...uh, well...eh..."

(Y/n) smiled kindly at him, combing a few (h/c) locks behind her ear. "You're too sweet, Prom. How'd I get so lucky?"

He lowered his gaze, smiling giddily. "I ask myself that question every day..."

All of a sudden, the boy's phone rang. He promptly picked up once seeing Ignis was calling him. When the call ended, he put his phone back into his pocket. "Welp, looks like Iggy wants us to return to the Leville. Ready to head back?"

"Yeah, let's-" The spirit fell silent when she heard the voice again. She looked back up at the sky and addressed him. "Actually, you go on ahead. I'll be there shortly."

Prompto looked up at the sky, but all he could see was how blue it was and the occasional white, fluffy cloud float by. "Oh, um...okay." He glanced at her worriedly before walking back to the hotel by his lonesome.

The second he walked into the lobby, he saw Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis chatting with Talcott and Jared. He asked what was going on and learned from the young boy about the sword behind the waterfall. The four decided to check out the tale and left the Leville.

Outside, Noctis turned to his best friend. "Where's (Y/n)?"

"At the outlook. She was supposed to be back by now," Prompto answered. He lifted his camera and admired the recent photo he took of the girl. Her beautiful golden eyes were casted to the sky with a tranquil expression on her face. He sighed sorrowfully, feeling as if he had no chance with her.

"What's with the gloomy look?" Gladio asked.

"Oh, nothing," the sharpshooter replied, wishing to avoid being teased mercilessly. He looked around at the many women who walked by. "H-Hey, what about the girls here? They're so cool and independent, like, "I don't need a man!""

Noctis glanced at him. "Sounds like you've heard that one a lot."

"C'mon, cut the little guy some slack. I'm sure somebody around here finds him attractive," Gladio said.

Prompto frantically looked around. "Well, then where are you?! Show yourself!" He spun around, coming face to face with the golden-eyed spirit. He screamed in surprise, jumping slightly. "(Y-Y/n)!"

"Does this mean she's the one?" Noctis asked.

"Maybe," Gladio shrugged his shoulders.

The (h/c)-haired girl smiled apologetically at them. "Sorry for being late. What's our next course of action?"

"Gonna check out to see if there's a royal arm nearby," Noctis said. "You taggin' along?"

"Of course! We ready to go?"

"Ready as we'll ever be. Let's go."

The group headed to the parking lot and climbed into the Regalia. (Y/n) was about to return to the gemstone when Prompto stopped her. He told her she could sit in the back between Noctis and Gladio. She looked toward the prince and his shield to make sure it was okay, and they both agreed. With everyone in the car, Ignis started the engine and drove out of Lestallum.

They traveled a little ways down the rode before pulling aside at Burbost Souvenir Emporium to hop out. They used a stairwell located a short distance down the road and wandered down the trail leading to the nearby river. At the water's edge, they spotted a midgardsormr slithering around. Noctis quietly led the group around the large creature, keeping close to the cliffside to avoid detection. However, the path ahead was littered with shieldshears.

"Oh, wow. I've never seen such large crabs before," (Y/n) commented.

"Think they'd taste good, Specs?" Noctis asked.

"What they have gained in size they will have lost in flavor," Ignis replied.

"Guess this means crab won't be on the menu tonight," Prompto commented.

Noctis went to summon his sword, but stopped when he noticed the shieldshears were already on fire. He stared in shock, watching the creatures keel over one by one as they burned. He patted his pockets and checked on his magic flasks. When one wasn't missing, he looked over at (Y/n). "Did you...?"

She smiled innocently. "I've no idea what you're talking about. Let's go!" She ran past the boys and up the pathway leading behind the waterfall.

Gladio looked at the dead carcasses of the shieldshears. "Damn. Little lady did a number on these things without touching them."

"Isn't she amazing?" Prompto sighed dreamily. "She's so badass!"

"Her abilities are fascinating," Ignis commented.

"Hey!" (Y/n) shouted from the path above. "Are you guys coming or what?"

"'Tis rude to keep a lady waiting," he stated.

"Be right there, (Y/n)!" Prompto shouted back.

The boys caught up with the spirit behind the waterfall. There, they discovered the entrance to greyshire glacial grotto. "Wouldn't you know it-an entrance!" Prompto spoke up.

"Looks like the legend checks out," Gladio said.

"So, what does this legend say?" (Y/n) asked.

"Apparently, there's supposed to be a sword behind the waterfall."

"And you believe it to be a royal arm?"

"Bingo," Noctis replied.

The group enter the cave. The first thing they noticed was how cold it was and everything was frozen. Prompto rubbed his arms up and down his exposed arms. "This place gives me goose bumps. Double back for our coats?"

"What's the point?" Gladio remarked.

"Well, looking on the bright side... Maybe the cold keeps the daemons at bay?"

"Yeah, because monsters like warmth."

"Ah. Sarcasm. Hmm... But what if they're frozen?"

"Encased in ice... Waiting for something warm to pass by..."

"And then they jump out!" Prompto's teeth then started chattering from the cold. When he walked closer to (Y/n), he noticed the temperature rose. "Oh, hey! It's pretty warm over here!" He walked ahead and stopped when the warmth vanished. "Aaand it's gone."

The guardian wondered if the blonde would put two and two together, but she sighed when he continued looking for the warm spot again. "Prom, you're gonna run into daemons if you keep wandering ahead."

"But the warmth!"

"Is radiating from (Y/n)," Ignis stated.

"Wait, really?" The marksman strolls back over to the girl. When he did, he felt the warmth pouring from her being. "It is!"

"You're tellin' me you never noticed before now?" Gladio questioned.

"Well, no... I mean, it's not like (Y/n) and I ever went somewhere this cold before. It's kinda nice. Makes me-" The spirit suddenly grabbed Prompto and pulled him back. Flans spawned where he once stood, blocking their path. He eyed the daemons, summoning his pistol. "And there's our warm welcome."

"Flans are resistant to physical attacks. Use elemental attacks to hurt them," the guardian stated. She held out her hand and created a throwing knife from pure flames. She tossed it at one of the daemons, inflicting heavy damage.

"Maybe you should handle this by yourself, (Y/n)," Noctis commented after witnessing her conjuring skills.

"Oh, I don't think so. You've got your own magic at your disposal. Use it."

Prompto snickered. "She gotcha there, buddy."

Gladio and Ignis, even though knowing physical attacks would do little to no damage, used their weapons to distract the flans. Noctis and (Y/n) teamed up while Prompto kept his distance and fired a few rounds.

When the daemons were dead, the group proceeded forward. They wandered through the frozen grotto a little ways before coming across an icy slope leading deeper into the cave. Prompto stands at the edge of the slope, peering down to see just how far it would take them. "Heading down a slippery slope... In slip-sliding shoes. What could possibly go wrong?"

"I'm sure we'll be fine," (Y/n) reassured him.

"Then ladies first."

"All right." She stepped on to the slope, keeping her balance as she slid down on her feet.

Prompto gasped. "W-Wait, (Y/n)! I was only kidding!" He quickly followed after her, slipping on his behind as his body slid down the slope. Noctis, Gladio, and Ignis followed after him.

The girl reached the bottom first, landing in the middle of a horde of imp daemons. She conjured a barrage of fireballs, targeting the daemons. Some imps were killed, but many others remained.

The boys reached the bottom and joined her in battle. Noctis summoned a javelin with an annoyed wail. "You things love deep pits. Let's get it over with."

The group fought against the remaining daemons, silencing each and every last one. Prompto dispelled his pistol when all the enemies were dead. "So much for a "little chill." I got an ice cream headache-without the ice cream!" He stepped closer to (Y/n) and held up his hands.

She eyed his gloved hands. "Am I a campfire to you?"

"No, but... I mean, you're the warmest thing down here and I'm freezing!"

"If we keep moving, you'll eventually get used to the cold. C'mon, Prom." She walked away from him, following after the rest of the boys.

"Aw..." He whined before promptly catching up with the others.

The five continued to trek through the frozen cave. They arrived at another icy slope and saw a side path a little ways down. Carefully, they proceeded onto the slope and slid to the side path. From there, they cross to the other side of the cave and crouch through an opening in the icy wall. They encountered another group of flans, which they easily disposed of.

Eventually, the group came across a narrow ledge. Noctis was the first to cross followed by Prompto, Ignis, (Y/n), and Gladio. Once safely on the other side, they noticed how the cave opened up. They were soon joined by an arachne daemon. It took no time at all for the five to get rid of the creature and head towards a ramp leading to a pathway above.

After taking down some more flans, Gladio dispelled his greatsword and looked around. "So, the glaive is through here?"

"Most likely," Noctis replied as he guided his companions to another narrow ledge.

"Let's see for ourselves," Ignis commented.

Like before, Noctis was the first to cross the narrow ledge. It wrapped around the side of the cave, leading to another path. Prompto, who was following right after the prince, shivered. "I'm freezing... What I wouldn't give for a hot bowl of soup. Mmm...soup. We're almost there... We gotta be. Right?!"

"Keep calm and try not to fall, Prom," (Y/n) advised.

After crossing the narrow ledge, they came across an area with an immense icy slope leading upward they couldn't reach. Located down the left path, they spotted a familiar stone door. "Hey! Knock, knock," Gladio grinned.

"We're there...finally," Ignis sighed.

Noctis went to approach the royal tomb, but he quickly backed away when a mindflayer materialized out of thin air and blocked the path. Alongside the medium-sized daemon was a pack of imps.

"Can't it ever be easy?" Gladio groaned, summoning his greatsword.

"Never." Noctis conjured his sword and leapt at the mindflayer.

"Where's the fun in that?" Ignis sarcastically replies, calling upon his own daggers and joining the fray.

Prompto used his pistol to attack from a safe distance. Whenever he was able to defeat a single imp, he shrieked when flans manifested right behind him. "These things are everywhere!"

(Y/n) placed distance between her, the boys, and the daemons. "This calls for a little fire." She transformed in her spiritual form and immediately pounced on the nearest daemon. Using her fire, she burned it to a crisp before setting her sights on another one. Seeing her presence had grabbed the attention of all the imps, she stepped back and inhaled deeply. Once creating a large flame in her throat, she exhaled and breathed fire at the small daemons. Each one perished from her attack.

Hearing a scream from behind her, (Y/n)'s ears twitched. She turned around and saw one of the mindflayers grabbed Prompto. She leapt into action, latching her jaw around the daemon's body and yanking it off the blonde. When he was free, she tossed the mindflayer aside and Gladio dealt the finishing blow.

While Prompto was recovering from the attack, the spirit utilized her many tails and swatted away any daemons that tried to attack him. Noctis made his way over and killed the enemies that she smacked away. Ignis and Gladio took down the last mindflayer while Prompto fires another bullet and annihilated the last flan. He sighed in relief when seeing all the adversaries were dead. "Does this mean we can go back outside?!"

Noctis didn't answer the marksman as he enters the Tomb of the Wanderer, acquiring the weapon that belonged to his ancestor. While he claimed his third royal arm, Prompto wandered over to his guardian. He threw his arms around her neck and buried his face into her soft fur. "So warm..."

(Y/n) nudged her nose against the top of his head in response to his touch. She messed with his hair until Noctis exited the royal tomb with his newly acquired weapon. With their business done, she returned to her human form and they left greyshire glacial grotto.

Outside the cave, Noctis is suddenly wracked with pain and grabs at his head. He witnesses a vision of Titan as well as the Disc of Cauthess. Prompto stepped away from (Y/n) to check on his best friend. "Noct, you okay?!"

The prince was baffled at the images that crossed through his mind. "What did I... Where was that?"

"What is it?" Gladio asked.

"A hole in the ground...something burning... The Meteor?"

"You saw the Disc of Cauthess?" Ignis asked with a tone of shock.

"Let's make our way back to Lestallum," the shield said.

Prompto nodded. "Yeah, gotta report to Talcott."

"Can you walk?" (Y/n) inquired.

Noctis met the girl's golden gaze and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go."

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

#ffxv #ffxv x reader #final fantasy xv x reader #final fantasy xv #prompto x reader #prompto argentum x reader #prompto argentum

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hythrain · 3 years ago

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Final Fantasy 14 Pre-Endwalker Stream, Raffle!

On November 28th at 9 AM EST, I'll be finishing a live replay of the FF14 story in anticipation for Endwalker over on my Twitch channel!

As part of this stream, I’ll be doing a free-to-enter raffle. The raffle will start with a single prize but will increase as there are more viewers/entries for a total of 10. There are two areas of prizes: Online Store items and in-game items. In-game items can only be earned by those on the Aether datacentre, sadly, but Online Store items are fair game for all.

To enter, all you need to do is watch the stream long enough to use the channel points command !raffle, where you’ll enter your character name and server.

Here’s a list of prizes and how many viewers are needed to unlock them. Note that while this is the order of prizes becoming available, it is NOT the order prizes will be drawn.

In-Game Items

Gabriel A Mount + Bread Emote + Monkey King Minion + Jet Black/Pure White Dye - 4th Drawn

Jet Black or Pure White Dye - 3rd Drawn

Crafted Orchestrion Roll Set (Thunder Rolls, Fleeting Rays, Through the Maelstrom, Tumbling Down, Hubris, Blind to the Dark at minimum, may add Corpse Hall, Big Bridge and Oblivion) - 2nd Drawn

Bread Emote - 1st Drawn

Lesser Panda Minion + Fat Cat Minion - 5th Drawn

Fenrir Pup Minion - 6th Drawn

Dodo Horn, Eldthurs Horn or Eurekan Petrel Horn - Winner’s Choice, 7th Drawn

3 Orchestrion Rolls, or 1 Roll Set, on the Online Store - Winner’s Choice, 8th Drawn

Any Online Store mount up to $24 USD in prize and any orchestrion roll up to $5 USD - Winner’s Choice, 9th drawn

$50 USD worth of Online Store items - Winner’s Choice, 10th Drawn

Based on the numbers from the day I made this list, the value of the first 7 prizes is over 8.8 million gil, while the last three total $100 USD.

There is more I would like to do, but at this point I don’t think it realistic that we’ll even get 100 viewers, let alone the numbers we’d need for the other prizes I’d want to do. So for now, that’s it. If you’re interested, be sure to be at the stream. Oh, and if you could... please share this? That way, we will get enough viewers.

P.S. If this goes well (lots of people, no cheating, etc), I will definitely do more raffles like this in the future for the FF14 community.

#Final Fantasy 14 #ff14 #FFXIV #shadowbringers #endwalker #aether #cactuar #streaming #raffle

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anxious-art-block · 4 years ago

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NNT Headcanons Part 6 Quarantine Edition 2: Electric Boogaloo

Tristan and Lancelot did the whole swan princess thing where starting at around 10-11, their families would take turns spending summers in the other’s kingdom with each other( not for like a marriage thing) like the first summer Lancelot spends the summer in Liones and then the next one Tristan goes to the Faerie realm for the summer and vise versa

!!Socially Awkward Tristan!!

Absolute bookworm Tristan too. Like once he can read he always has a book, think Belle or Matilda except his family actually doesn’t care about the fact that he reads so much. He comes down for breakfast with his nose in a book and he runs into a chair almost every time until he eventually memorizes where they are so he’ll stop

His dad made sure he could read by like two

I like the idea that Lancelot has Elaine’s blond hair and Ban’s eyes so King and Diane’s kiddo calls him Blondie

One time when Tristan is over at the Faerie realm he gets annoyed that Tris was spending the whole time reading and not spending time with him so he picks him up and jumps out the window and takes for a ride

I see that everyone pretty much has agreed that Lancelot got fairy wings so

!!Astronomy nerd Tristan!!

This hc list is pretty much gonna be him

He has his room, then he has an observatory off of his room next to his closet

He drags his Mel and Ellie out at like midnight to see eclipses, planetary alignments and meteor showers and such

Tristan wears his hair in a high ponytail when he’s older. He went from always keeping it down, to having it braided a lot, to having it tied up messily

!!Artist Lancelot!!

He likes to sketch animals(primarily birds) and draw landscapes

Tristan is really good at cards, like any game of cards he will win at, why? Who knows

He is a total momma’s boy

But I think we all knew that

Moving on

I have an oc kiddo for Gelda and Zel named Beatrix so imma include her

She was adopted at 8, nobody saw the two for like two years cause they took that time to help her get used to like royal life(start of it anyway) and just having parents, and she meets Tristan when they’re both 10

Tristan is super nervous and like hiding behind Ellie and she just stares at him, like, 0_0

For two minutes

Then he whispers a hi and she shouts “HI THERE” and he screams

Great first impression but they hit it off once the parents leave them to it

He helps teach her to read, cause while Zel had started, he didn’t wanna throw that on her super quickly so when Beatrix see’s Tris reading he asks him what like 5 words say and he eventually asks her if she can read

And she’s like ‘lol no’ so he teaches her as much as he can within a 72 hour trip

She’s a daddy’s girl

And while not by blood, is DEFINITELY her father’s daughter, full of stubbornness and pride

Beatrix’s favorite thing about her family is that their colours consist of red, black, silver, gold and really really dark grey

When they get older, her and Tris are known as the ‘brains and the brawns’ thing

With Beatrix as the brawns and Tris as the brains

While they both can fight he is just smarter than her so that’s why he earned that title

Ellie passes out after Tris was born, she wasn’t out for long but she got overheated so she fainted like seconds after she heard his cries

Luckily she recovered like really quickly afterwards cause ~goddess magic bs~

Who likes angst? I like angst

King and Diane were the first couple to end up with child, it was technically accidental but they were happy nonetheless, and it wasn’t to long before Ellie and Elaine ended up pregnant

No one was shocked honestly that it was them first, since they were the first to be wed

It was a little boy named Gil(meaning happiness in Hebrew), he had his mom’s chocolate hair and his dad’s amber eyes, with freckles dotting his nose, he was their pride and joy

They lost him to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome

Diane was numb for weeks afterwards, she wouldn’t eat, her sleep was filled with nightmares and she refused to see anyone

Harley wasn’t doing any better, the only person he let see him was Elaine for a while. All he did was cry, so much at one point he gave himself a fever and he passed out

It took almost two maybe three years for them to try again and when Diane went into labor she was hysterical and Harley was having a panic attack that Mel had to talk him through

Diane wouldn’t let the second baby out of her sight for the first year and a half, and when six months had hit she was most anxious cause Gil was six months old when they lost him

So they’re kiddo is the youngest of the four kiddos by like a year or two

When they lost Gil, Merlin had even come around cause it was the most heartbreaking thing in a while

Wow I actually almost made myself cry

But angst is my specialty so

You’re welcome, and remember

Canon is mine to mess with and twist

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gregszandles · 5 years ago

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Chapters: 10/21 Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Greg Sanders/Sara Sidle Characters: Greg Sanders, Sara Sidle, Nick Stokes, Gil Grissom, Catherine Willows, D.B. Russell, Morgan Brody, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), David Hodges Additional Tags: Kidnapping, Torture, Whump, Greg Sanders Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Female Antagonist, Somewhere In Here There's A Plot Series: Part 1 of Just Getting Started Summary:

A previous case comes back to haunt Greg just as Sara is making some big changes in her life. Grissom is in Peru, and Greg is just starting to earn more of Sara's attention when he is kidnapped. Set later in the series post season 12. All characters tagged will have at least a small role in the story (even in they weren't on the show during the later seasons).

I hope I didn’t lose anyone with the long gap between updates!

Here’s Chapter 10! (total chapters is estimated but should be close!)

#csi fanfic #csi #Greg Sanders #whump #Nick Stokes #Sara Sidle #Gil Grissom #kidnapping #torture #Just Getting Started #Chapter 10 finally up!

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lunanight2012 · 5 years ago

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A Tale as Old as Time? Pt 3

Hope you all enjoy! I lied, this has some craziness to it. Enjoy!!!

It had been three weeks. Three weeks since I had to wrap my chest to heal the brand. Three weeks since I learned how to control my fire. Three weeks since I started dating Harry Hook.

Well more like he's living with me in my dorm room, so is Gil. But I couldn't bear leaving Gil in a room by himself. So my room now has two beds at either side of the room and yes me and Harry share a bed. It's been great. I have my Harry Hook plush.

This just happened to be the week me and Chad had to head home for mom's birthday. I managed to get Harry to come with us. But hey Chad warmed up to Harry pretty quickly. Hopefully mom and dad will too.

Chad drove his motorbike, I followed on mine with Harry seated right behind me.

"Love I'm nervous." Harry stated as we pulled into the large garage oh Charmington Palace.

"About?" I asked, taking off my helmet, shaking my hair free, I now had light blue tips to my hair.

"What if your parents don't like me?" He asked, nervous.

"They will. Mom might be a bit shocked but they'll grow to love ya!" I exclaimed, kissing his cheek.

The three of us headed into the castle.

"Momma! Papa! We're home!" I called out.

Soon enough big old doggo, Leonardo, came hopping down the hall. I held out my gloved arma.

"Leo!! There's my big boy!" I giggle petting the slobbering dog.

"Well, so happy to have you two back home!" Cinderella exclaimed, smiling.

"Momma!" I exclaimed running to my mother and hugging her.

"Cindy! Oh my what happened to your hair? And why are you wearing leather gloves?" Momma asked me. I backed away, becoming nervous.

Harry grabbed my hand gently.

"Momma, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Harry Hook." I introduced.

"A VK? How can you be so sure he's not going to turn on you?" Momma questioned.

That's when Chad spoke up. "Actually he saved Lu from his father."

"What?? When did this happen??" Momma became worried.

"Mrs. Charming, I would never hurt your daughter. I love her with all my soul. But there's some new things to Luna." Harry explained.

"Like the hair and gloves?" Momma quirked an eyebrow.

"His father injected me with Hades blood and um I have fire." I explained creating a small ball of fire in my palm. "And my hair flames up sometimes. And um…." I made the flame go out before grabbing Harry with both hands.

"I have a scar on my back from his father branding me." I said looking at me and Harry hands intertwined together.

"What? Come with me missy! I am going to take a look at the." Cinderella exclaimed dragging me to my room.

Chad smiled at Harry, who was playing with his hook nervously.

"Come on dude, time to meet my dad!" Chad exclaimed.

~~~~~~~In my bedroom~~~~~~~~~~

"Momma! Let me unwrap it!" I insisted, taking my top off, i began to unwrap my binding.

The moment my scar was free, Momma was grabbing every type of cream we had. Smearing them on my scar as I sat on my bed, holding my Harry Hook doll. Giggling as I made him wave his hook.

"What are you giggling about?" Momma asked me.

"Harry made me a plush of himself. So that way, even when we're apart he's still with me." I explained, hugging the doll.

"Sounds sweet. Well if we could use magic I'm sure we could get rid of that scar." Momma sighed. "You should wrap it back up sweetie, we have dinner with your father. And you may want to wear one of your dresses as well." Momma stated, kissing my forehead before leaving.

I sighed as I wrapped up my scar and got changed into my favorite light blue dress, it was similar to my mom's dress that Fair Godmother made for her, but not as elegant. My hair was up in a bun on top of my head.

I was finishing up my makeup when a familiar knock sounded on my door. I smirked.

"Come in Hooky!" I called out, standing up from my chair as Harry entered my room.

"Your parents are nice….." Harry froze as he saw me in my dress. Setting his bag down he walked over to me.

"My princess!" He cooed, kneeling down to kiss my hand, causing me to giggle.

"Harry! Quit that! You know how much I hate it when you call me princess!" I giggle.

"I feel bad. I only brought my pirate outfit." Harry frowned.

"Wear that. I want you comfortable!" I exclaimed, rushing over to grab my Harry Hook plush. "Be like you!" I exclaimed holding up the plush. My light blue leather gloves rubbing circles on the plush.

"Heheheh alright love. But can I use your bathroom to change?" Harry asked.

"Of course!" I smiled, heading over to my Queen sized bed.

Harry smiled and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. I smiled as I slipped on my fake glass slipper heels. As much as I hated wearing heels, I had to with this dress. My small stature made the dress touch the floor.

These past three weeks I've learned a lot about Harry. His father was abusive, not just to me, but when Harry was younger his father would cut him on his chest. Even injected him with a lower ranked villain's blood. I winced at the memory of that happening to me. The burning feeling of Hades blood mixing with mine was not a pleasant experience, or memory.

"Love, how do I look?" Harry asked nervously.

I stood up and looked at him, smirking a bit. My favorite outfit of his was definitely that one. Loads of buckles going down the front of the black vest. I knew all too well that on the back was a hook. I smiled, walking over to him. Within these past three weeks I've gained confidence, and a bit of risky behavior, mostly towards Harry.

"I love it. Wait.." I lift my gloved hand up and fix his hair, just enough so he looked like the man I fell in love with.

"Perfect. Now come on my pirate, we have a family dinner to attend." I exclaimed, grabbing his hand.

We headed towards the dining room. Smirking at him we entered the large dining hall. I curtsied to my parents, brother, and grandfather.

"Cindy, come and join us. And...oh my! Why did you bring a pirate??" Grandfather questioned.

I grabbed Harry's hand and lead him to my seat. Harry pulled my seat out for me, which earned him a kiss on the cheek. We both sat at the table.

"Answer me girl! Why did you bring a pirate to my castle!!?? And why are you wearing those horrendous gloves???? And what on earth did you do to your hair???" Grandfather all but shouted.

Chad looked over at Mama, her nodding as Chad called over a servant and whispered something in his ear. The servant nodded and rushed off.

"Grandfather, this is my boyfriend, Harry Hook. Harry meet the Duke of Charmington, my grandfather." I finally introduced.

Harry carefully sat his hook down before standing up and bowing.

"Pleasure to meet you!" Harry stated, his accent thick.

"You are not allowed to be with HIM!" Grandfather shouted.

"You really have no say in who I date grandfather." I said calmly, holding my hands together.

"Take those disgusting things off right now! And after dinner you will remove that dye from your hair!" Grandfather shouted, his face turning red.

"I can't do that." I stated, Harry could tell I was having trouble with my composure.

"Guards take that pirate out of here!" Grandfather ordered.

That was it. The last straw.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" I shouted, my hair flaming up and my hands flaming up.

The servant returned and handed Harry some oven mitts. He quickly put them on and grabbed my hands. Leaning his forehead against mine he began to whisper to me.

"Calm down love. This is your family. I love you very much. You need to breathe and calm down."

I slowly started to calm down, my hair fizzing out, the fires disappearing.

"What did that monster do to you???" Grandfather questioned, in shock.

"It wasn't him Grandfather. It was his father. Harry's father spelled me, with the help of Ursula, and kidnapped me. I was then branded and inject with Hades blood." I explained.

Harry removed the mitts and held my hand. I knew he was trying to keep me calm. I love him for that.

"That man should be locked up!" Father exclaimed.

"No need papa, Harry saved me. He killed his own father to free me of the spell. Well him and Uma, Uma killed Ursula." I explained.

"How do we know he won't do that to us?" Grandfather questioned.

"Because Grandfather. I love him and he loves me. You know what. I'm not hungry. Come on Harry, let's go back to my room." I exclaimed, standing up and leaving the room, Harry following close behind.

He stopped at the doorway. "Just so ye all know, I love Luna. With all my heart. I have vowed to protect her. At all costs." Harry explained, saluting with his hook before following after me.

Once in my room and break down crying. Harry hugs me close, letting me cry it out.

"It's ok love let it all out." Harry soothed.

After 10 minutes of crying a knock sounded on my door. Wiping my eyes I sit up.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal Chad, with two plates in his hands.

"Hey. Thought you both might be hungry." Chad offered, handing me and Harry each a plate.

"By the way, I'm sorry how the old man treated you Harry. He's got a stick up his rear." Chad explained, sitting in a nearby chair.

"I think we'll be heading back tomorrow. I don't think it's safe for me to stay any longer. Plus I have lessons with Hades tomorrow." I stated, grabbing my Harry Hook plush as I leaned into my boyfriend.

"I totally understand, I might head back tomorrow too. I was hoping I could convince Hook here to join Fencing." Chad smirked.

Harry smirked back. "Sword fighting? Oh, I am so in!" His accent dripping through.

I giggled and began to eat.

~~~~~~~~later that night~~~~~~~~~

Putting on my fireproof nightcap, and my hook themed pjs (thank you Evie), I crawled into bed next to Harry. Curling up against his chest I smiled.

"Good night my Pirate~!" I exclaimed, burying my face in his chest.

"Good night my Cindy." Harry whispered, causing me to blush and my hair to flame a little from embarrassment.

"Calm down love." Harry whispered.

I smiled, my hair fizzing out as I fell asleep.

This dream was no dream. It's the same nightmare I've had every night for three weeks.

I was back on the Jolly Roger. Smee was trying to get me to go, but a badly injured Captain Hook stepped out of the shadows.

"You will return." He spoke in a gravelly tone.

All I could do was nod. I never told anyone, but the branding was a spell. I only learned that after the first week of having this nightmare. I woke up in a cold sweat.

Harry was fast asleep. I smiled at him. He was so innocent looking when he was asleep. I carefully got out of his arms. Once I was sure he was still asleep, I walked over to where his hook was and picked it up.

This was the one thing I loved to play with. I held it up, using my free hand i touch the tip to my finger. Pricking it. I winced at the pain and set the hook down.

"Dang it!" I whispered, sucking on my finger. I headed to my bathroom, and grabbed a bandaid, wrapping it around my finger. Walking back into my room, I felt a strange aura nearby.

I walked over to my bed and nudged Harry. "Harry, please wake up." I exclaimed.

Harry groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "What's wrong love?" He asked, sitting up.

"Something isn't right." I whispered, my hands starting to flame up.

Harry jumped out of bed and grabbed his hook.

"Let's go figure out what's going on." Harry stated, the both of us leaving my room.

We walked side by side down the hall. Harry took a protective stance as we both felt something stir in the air.

"H-Harry. I feel like I should tell you som-" I passed out.

"Luna!" Harry exclaimed rushing to me.

He noticed I was barely breathing. Picking me up bridal style he carried me down the hall, running.

"Chad!!! Where the bloody hell are you??" Harry shouted, his accent thick.

Servants started wondering what the commotion was. Seeing Harry running through the halls with my unconscious body. They told him where Chad's room was and he bolted down the hall, holding me close.

"Stay with me Luna!" Harry all but cried, running to Chad's room.

Banging on his door Harry shouted. "Open up Chad! Right fucking now!!!" Harry cursed, his accent incredibly thick.

Chad opened his door, groaning. "What the fuck mab! Why are you carrying Luna?" Chad asked concerned as Harry laid me on Chad's bed.

"She passed out and now she's slipping away. I need you to call Mal, and Ben. Tell them what's going on. Tell them to get here as soon as possible. Hurry!" Harry exclaimed as He kneeled down next to me.

Chad pulled out his phone and called Mal, talking with her as Harry talked to me.

"You better not leave me. I need ya love. You're my anchor in this world. Without you I wouldn't be where I'm at." Harry stated, kissing my hand.

"Chad! Tell Mal to bring Uma and Gil!" Harry shouted, causing Chad to nod.

#a tale as old as time #harry hook #harry hook imagine #cindy luna charming #harry hook x oc #descendants imagine

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maddmuses · 5 years ago

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Zack’s Stats FFVII (Classic)

Points: LV Zack EXP 1 - 10 - 20 0 30 119770 40 225940 50 363825 60 491470 70 537068 80 1310000 90 1930050 99 2500000

HP Range (Bottom to Max) 679-8502

MP Range (Bottom to Max) 150-980

Primary Stats: (Bottom to Max) Strength: 27-80 (Adjusted Range 34-100) Dexterity: 20-70 Vitality: 30-75 (Adjusted Range 30-96) Magic: 35-100 Spirit: 30-98 Luck: 20-31

Zack, initially known as Ex-SOLDIER (though his name is revealed before being added to the party gameshark and glitch manipulation can be used to get the designation with its original code). He wields broadswords (the same as Cloud) and can use any of these weapons that Cloud doesn’t have equipped, except for Ultimate Weapon. In this game Zack fill a Red Mage role, and uniquely his derived stats manipulate based on his row placement (with an increased offensive power, both spells and attacks, while in back row, but increased defensive powers in front row). This array usually encourages Zack to remain in the back row, and often players move him to the front row when using him to cast healing magic or use items.

Notably, Zack’s Limit Breaks are all alluded to other characters in his backstory. Chain Slash is what he starts with, and relies on his Strength stat, meaning that it ultimately scales to be better than his other Limit Rush Assault, which scales off of Vitality. Zack’s Limits are earned by flashbacks to the events of his and Cloud’s life prior to the events of the game, usually earned by playing as either Cloud or Zack, and seeing another character doing something. Zack’s final Limit, Apocalypse, is earned by defeating the optional boss Simulation Genesis. Notable is that Zack’s Limits seem to have more to do with the character his memory discusses, including Healing Wave, which functions the same as Aerith’s Limit of the same name.

When brought into the party Zack’s level is the party’s average +3, or 1 level higher than the highest-level party member. If either of these numbers are sub-20, then Zack defaults to level 20.

Battle

Zack is a character who is best moved between the rows depending on what he is specifically meant to do. Notably, if he never completes the questline to repair his degeneration, Zack is best set to use his melee attacks from back row, as the normal reductions do not apply to his attacks. Zack’s limit breaks match his utility, being able to do simple things such as deal damage, to heal, to increasing the luck of the entire party, though they’re often tied to scripted events and may be considered underwhelming given his stat association, in many cases.

Stats

Zack’s stats are notably reflective of his storyline, with weak Strength and Vitality, the latter of which is the lowest in the party, favoring his casting, and having the highest, though slowest-growing, Luck stat as well. Zack’s ATB also fills quickly, allowing him to cast repeatedly and often, making him a good support character. If the player decides to complete a side quest after Cloud recovers from his second bout of Mako Poisoning, Zack’s physical state is restored fully, and his Strength and Vitality become adjusted accordingly, giving him extremely well-rounded stats, like Cloud, but renders him unable to upgrade Buster Sword and make it his strongest weapon (which in terms of performance would make Zack a stronger character). Doing one quest or the other closes out the corresponding questline.

Equipment

Zack’s equipment is the same as Cloud’s in-game, though he notably cannot use Ultima Weapon, or any weapon that Cloud has equipped. Notably, thanks to his unique ability, Zack is able to slot additional Materia based on the total slots of his equipment, giving him more natural versatility and use as a means of leveling up many materia at a time. Because of this ability, many players will favor Apocalypse as Zack’s lategame weapon, and essentially his endgame until Ragnarok is freed up by Cloud obtaining Ultima Weapon, because of the higher Spirit stat. Notably, other players may prefer to have Zack wield Heaven’s Cloud as it can grant him an additional two materia slots. Zack’s own strongest weapon in the game, though, is the Buster Sword that is available to Cloud at the start. If the player listens to Cloud’s internal dialogue in the first battle, and refrains from making attacks with the Buster Sword whatsoever, essentially requiring him to repeatedly defend, use magic, or items throughout the first reactor mission, until Zack is able to give him his second weapon at Seventh Heaven, then this quest will later become available to the player. So long as only Zack makes attacks with the Buster Sword throughout the game, until the quest that allows Zack to improve the Buster Sword is started, at which point it can no longer be equipped to Cloud, and at the end has its stats improved in such a way that Zack’s damage output becomes similar to Cloud’s with the Ultimate Weapon equipped. A notable ability attached to the Buster Sword when this occurs is that it also deals more damage based on the percent of Zack’s remaining MP, indicating that the game expects Zack’s playstyle to change along with the Buster Sword to essentially being a second Cloud. Due to similar stats, and the suppression of his ability that allows his melee attacks to deal the same in the back row, many often allow Zack to still act as a caster or item support, but others also enjoy the option of having two high-damage output characters.

Materia

Zack joins the party with Fire, Blizzard, and HP Up equipped. Due to his high magic stat, Zack often spend the majority of the game casting in the back row, switching to front row when not attacking, because his dodge chance improves dramatically. Additionally, thanks to Zack being the only character with “personal slots” for his materia that allows him to slot more with more slot-rich equipment, Zack is also suited for leveling up a player’s materia in bulk, allowing players to quickly develop expensive materia simultaneously, or quickly working up a full set of casting materia for their other characters.

Quests

Prior to his introduction as a party member, Zack will send Cloud on a number of quests that he calls “Merc Contracts” though they’re often relay and running quests. These are optional in nature, but serve as a quick way to earn a decent amount of gil in the early game.

Return of the SOLDIER Following Cloud’s recovery from Mako Poisoning, in Mideel, if Zack is in the party while you talk to either the Weapon Shop Clerk, or the nurse at the clinic, Zack gets a corresponding recommendation to see about touching up his Buster Sword from The Monk Smith Bhest outside of Banora (the original forger of the Buster Sword) or the Dr. Rhiner in Sector 4 of Midgar about the condition of his arm.

If Zack receives the quest to see Bhest, he is admonished for allowing such a fine work of his to become so worn with lack of care that it could barely hold an edge. For a price (calculated with a formula that’s determined by how many times Zack has used it to attack, or cast elemental spells while it was equipped) he will repair it, while also sending Zack to retrieve a number of difficult to get materials, one of which is dropped following a boss fight. After these are completed, Bhest returns the weapon to Zack, telling him that no matter how roughly he handles it, the material will allow the Buster Sword to always remain in perfect condition, and he was even able to install some additional slots to it. (If Zack attempts to see Bhest without meeting the conditions for the quest, or after having started the Rhiner quest, he will be scolded and told that the weapon is as good as a doorstop the way he’s handled it.)

If Zack recieves the quest to see Rhiner, he will find Rhiner in a free clinic in Sector 4. Rhiner will inspect Zack and determine that he’s experiencing some sort of accelerated version of the typical degeneration caused by make treatments. This sends Zack to Nibelheim to collect notes necessary for Rhiner to find out what was different about Zack’s treatment. Upon his return, he is then sent out to seek some unique components and materials from Hojo’s lab, requiring them to again sneak into the Shinra headquarters, or having stolen them successfully from Hojo during his boss fight (can only be stolen in first and third phases, with the chance of steal being halved in the third phase). Upon his return, Zack is treated for two days, eventually coming out with a repaired arm and physical health. Doing this permanently modifies his stats, but prevents him from being able to enhance his Buster Sword (without cheating and hacking it in with a gameshark).

#The Hero's Mentor (Zack Fair FFVII Divergent AU)

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throwaway-sinfulwriter · 5 years ago

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The Same - Chapter 7 - 4/6

Sitting in Dr. Brown's living room, Malcolm and JT question her until she finally begins to divulge.

"Was Alice Downey taking LSD on your order?" Bright asks the woman, a small tape recorder in his hand. The throw pillows on the chairs and couch reminded him of his father's eyes. He tries not to look at them too often, focusing on Elaine instead.

"This isn't 1963, Detective. I can't make anyone do anything." For a moment, he and JT share a look.

"Except, you can. With your credentials and authority, you could make anyone do anything. How long did these experiments last? How many students participated in them?" The pillows were mocking him. They were simple, a blue to green gradient with shimmery thread and sparse beads.

He questions her, mouth running on auto-pilot as his mind slowly drifts off to another place. He sees recognition in her eyes as he lists off what they know about their suspect.

Bright faintly hears the name Dominic Render as his eyes glaze over.

Malcolm fully spaces out.

He couldn't get his father off of his mind. Shutting his eyes, Malcolm remembers every glance Martin had ever gave him. How his eyes darkened when annoyed, lit up when he was joyful. How straight and perfectly white his teeth were when he smiled.

"-right?"

Malcolm just wants to sit here, and think about things he usually never allows himself. Just for a moment. A sinful, forbidden moment. Think of his father's hands, how they were still bigger than his, even when he was fully grown.

How his father would put on records and play classical music to dance to, how he read sonnets to him as a child. Doctor Whitly taught him to play the piano at a young age.

He was remembering the small details, the ones that hurt to think about when his father wasn't there.

Martin loved the rain. He would always make Malcolm hot chocolate and read to him when it rained. Kept him warm, even when a storm was raging outside.

"Bright? Bright? Malcolm blinked his eyes open, and instinctively clicked stop on his tape recorder.

"Uh.. sorry. I'm just.. uh.. I'll just.. I'll go wait in the car." He stood and walked outside, sighing as the cold air hit his face.

He was thoroughly embarrassed about losing himself like that. Making a fool of himself in front of JT, who already hated his guts.

Malcolm enters the car, resting his head on the back of the seat and taking a few deep breaths. He just needed to get back into control. Become closed off from his emotions.

He knew how to do it, his heart was just hurting so bad he didn't know if he could. Malcolm needed to escape from his mind. Focus on something else.

JT. How long had the man been calling out for him while he was trapped in his childhood memories? Seconds? Minutes?

He didn't know. Bright sighs, his tired eyes refusing to rest as he fiddled with the car door. In fact, he knew nothing about JT. Only that his humor was incredibly strange, and he did not like Malcolm.

The driver's door open, and said man hopped in the car. "Elaine is settled down for the night with some chamomile."

Malcolm nodded, pushing down the discomfort at the mention of tea. His mother always tried making it for him, but he refused to drink it. It was how his father drugged his victims.

Tea laced with ketamine.

Needless to say, Bright was more of a coffee fan.

"Hey, what happened in there? You completely zoned out." JT asks, hands on the steering wheel.

He shrugs. "Yeah, that happens sometimes. My body can shut down at times."

"Gil and Dani are off looking for Render. He wants me to stay on Professor Bad Trip."

Malcolm stares at him.

"That means you can go home."

He doesn't respond to that. "What does JT stand for? Joseph? Jake? Jason? Julian? J-"

JT interrupts him.

"I don't think you're stakeout material."

Bright shakes his head. "I'm a chronic insomniac. I was made for this."

JT looks past him, observing Elaine's house. Only the porch and living room lights were on.

"How many kid's brains do you think she scrambled to get that house?" Malcolm glares at him, crossing his arms.

"…Sorry." He says reluctantly. "I know she's your people "

The profiler next to him hums, non-committal. "No. You're my people."

JT gives him a certain look, and Malcolm raises his eyebrows. "Tell me why I'm wrong."

"In the service, we have a hierarchy." So, JT had been in the service. Malcolm had guessed this the first time they had met, but now his assumption was confirmed. He smirked lightly.

"Your rank earns you respect. It's the same for cops, y'know. I have a badge. But you don't respect me."

Irritation grows in Bright. How could the man be so daft?

"Listen.. when I was a kid, a cop came to my house and took the bad guy away. He saved me. Saved me from hell on earth, from a lifetime of fear. There is not a single person that respects the badge more than I do, okay?"

Malcolm is uncomfortable with opening up to JT, but he knew that he had clear this up now, to prevent anything from happening later.

"Any respect I haven't given you is what you've been giving to me. You've been an absolute dick since I started consulting, and it's really not helping any of us. Including yourself."

"I'm doing my best. I might not have the most orthodox methods, and I know I come off as strange to you, but I do my best to get justice for everyone. Just like Gil tried to give my family justice." Tried being the keyword.

He doesn't want to get too emotional, so he runs his hand under his nose and sniffs.

"I need to ask Dr. Brown a question. For the profile." He exits the car.

-------

Sitting in Doctor Elaine Brown's living room, Malcolm Whitly opens up about his case. It was quite sad to call his life a case, but that was what it had been since he was 10 years old.

Legal documents, testimonies, and news articles. It wasn't much of a life for a child. And it didn't lessen as he got older. People had always expected he would turn out like his father.

"Your case is a testament of the humans mind to endure trauma."

Malcolm winces. Ouch. Not exactly the support he had been looking for.

"Uh.. thanks? I guess? Was that a compliment?" Elaine just raises her eyebrows and drinks more of her tea.

Bright shudders in his seat, the scent of chamomile in the air.

He continues on, telling her about his "controversial" repressed memories, and everything he had been diagnosed with.

She asks him if he believed he had been drugged, and Malcolm nods, fingers tapping in a rhythm on the arm chair to stop the tremors.

"Have you ever smelled chloroform?"

"..Well, it's not my drug of choice." She gives him that look, a look that his therapist gave to him often. He knows he's deflecting, okay, but he's not very comfortable talking about this with anyone.

Unlike his therapist, Dr. Brown continues on.

"It has extreme chemical notes, but it's actually quite sweet smelling."

He swallows hard. Thinking of his father's clean, crisp cologne with a hint of chemical and sweetness.

"A familiar smell can trigger repressed memories."

Malcolm stands from his chair, going over to a desk in the far side of the room. Fingers resting on his hip bones.

"Do you have any fears?"

He asks, shuffling through the papers on the desk. Looking at different files, with graphs and charts. Dr. Brown doesn't say anything about him going through her things.

"I have regrets." She says, and Malcolm turns to look at her curiously.

Elaine continues. "If your memories are blocked, it must be because your mind is afraid of something in your memories. You'll need to overcome that fear to access them."

Malcolm notes this, vowing to remember that fact once the case was over.

He turns, eyes raking over the room. Meticulously looking at every detail, trying to find something that would aid him.

His eyes catch on a glass display of tribal masks, and his head tilts. Something clicking in his mind.

"These are.. interesting." Bright says, going up to the case and staring at the one displayed in the middle. There were four in total, but he couldn't tear his eyes off the one.

"What is this one?" He asks, finger poised just inches from the glass case.

"It's African." Malcolm exhales through his nostrils, trying not to snap at the woman. He knew that. He wasn't an idiot.

"It's an artistic interpretation of Lucifer." A cold shiver travels from the base of Malcolm's skull to his tailbone.

"Has Dominic Render ever been here?"

"Yes, he along with many other students.. he.. he was always fascinated by those masks.."

Malcolm sprints back to the desk, gripping the folder with the copy of the notes left by Render.

One thing he hasn't understood earlier was the circular shapes Dominic had formed with his words. At the time, separately, it hadn't made much sense.

But now..

Bright moves the papers around, his own panting breath loud in his ears. Stepping back, he looks at all of the papers. They form a face. His head snaps to the left, at the Lucifer mask, and back.

"He wants you to understand him. To find him." Dread washes over Malcolm as he quickly takes a picture of the papers and shoves his phone back in his pocket.

"This is where he's planning on killing you. It has sentimental value to him."

"S-something's wrong." Dr. Brown tells him, and his heart drops to his stomach as he turns to her. She's sweating, pupils dialated. "My pulse is racing, my thoughts are shifting. It-It's the tea. The chamomile."

Malcolm rushes over to her, biting the inside of his cheek so hard the bitter taste of blood fills his mouth. He should have known to not trust the tea. Dammit.

At least it wasn't ketamin. If it was, he wouldn't be able to function. Wouldn't be able to help the woman.

He ignores the pain at the thought for now, hesitantly placing his hands on Elaine's arms to get her out of the chair. His stomach flips unpleasantly at the touch.

"You've been laced with LSD. We need to get you out of here." Bright leads her to the door, and goes to open it when all the lights cut out.

Left in the dark, the only sound Elaine's drugged babbling and his own panicked breathing, Malcolm knows what he has to do.

"Come on, let's go back." He pulls her away from the door, and she holds onto him, pupils unnaturally dilated. "Shh, shh. Come on. Sit back down.."

"Stay here. Don't go anywhere." Bright tells her, making sure she doesn't get up, and leaves the room.

Outside, in the hallway, is a record player. A record is already sitting in it.

Malcolm takes out his phone, ringing JT. He waits in tense silence until the man finally answers.

"JT. Dominic Render is in the house. Get in here." He hangs up, not waiting to hear the man's response. Malcolm would have to go find the mentally ill man, prevent him from getting to Dr. Brown.

Thankfully, due to his father's love of classical music and all things retro, they had a record player in their home. He and his father used to dance to Frank Sinatra.

Thank you, Martin. Malcolm thinks as he turns the player on, pressing the needle onto the record.

He flinches as rock music started playing. It was definitely no Sinatra, and it hurt his ears quite a lot, but hopefully it would delay Render.

The loud music should confuse the man, and if Malcolm was lucky he might hallucinate due to sensory overload. A part of Bright feels guilty for undoubtedly causing a mentally ill man more pain.

But, thinking back to the Professor's empty head and the many blades next to Carl Mitchell, Malcolm can't take any chance.

Malcolm stops by the fireplace, grabbing a fire poker and holding it ahead of him like a weapon.

Walking through the house slowly, hands in front of him, Malcolm tries to talk Render down.

"Dominic Render!" He calls out over the booming music, trying to hide the fear that was bubbling at the surface. Malcolm couldn't let the man to have the advantage.

"No one else needs to die." He comes around the corner, muscles tensing in anticipation of the killer being there. He isn't.

Where could he be?

Malcolm goes over the entire house, not finding the suspect. That only leaves one place.. upstairs.

"I know how you feel. I've had my fair share of nightmares."

He begins slowly ascending the stairs, his breathing erratic and undoubtedly afraid. His palm runs over the wooden railing of the staircase. It does little to calm him, but Malcolm memorizes the grain of the wood underneath his hand.

"But they trapped you inside yours, didn't they?" Bright prided himself in his skill of talking people down, getting a Masters in Psychology hadn't just been for show. He reverently studied conversation, and the act of talking to a person who was dangerous.

It helped him in the sociopathic aspect (he was not a sociopath, he just had tendencies). He understood empathy more, though he could not accurately emulate it without looking quite robotic.

It also helped in his career as a profiler. He had many personal conversations with killers, which was especially easy due to his background. Malcolm was quite good at subduing killers, talking them down from suicide after they had been caught. Showing at their trials, convincing them serving time was better than death.

He wanted to use this skill to help Dominic Render, but so far the man had yet to show. This worried him. Bright not be able to talk him out of it.

"..Dominic, I know you're scared." Malcolm reaches the top of the staircase, walking towards a closed doors on the left. "I am, too."

The door opened, and the next thing Bright knew, he was being hurtled backwards, into a picture on the wall. He feels the glass shatter as he hits it, all breath leaving his body. Hitting the wall so hard, his knees wobble.

He fights back with the fire poker, holding it in front of him so Dominic couldn't stab him. Malcolm pushes against him, giving him enough space to get away from the wall.

Dominic's hand hits the wall, and Bright is behind him. He grabs Malcolm by the shoulders, trying to get him down the stairs so he could subdue him properly. This doesn't work well, as Render's elbow comes back and hits him in the face. The hit causes his shaking knees to give in, and he collapses to the floor.

Render stands over him, pressing him with his foot to the edge of the staircase.

"This is how I respond to fear."

He crouches over Malcolm, raising his blade.

Malcolm's eyes go wide, pure, unbridled fear in his eyes. This is it. He's going to die. Dominic is going to kill him, take his brain and.. and what? Do what with it? He didn't know, there was no time, he couldn't even open his mouth for his last words-

There's an incredibly loud bang, and Render is off of him, a warm splatter of blood on his face. Unlike the time at Quantico, when the feelings that followed were resentment for a person that could be saved, all Malcolm felt was satisfaction.

If that was how Dominic reacted to someone who was trying to help him, he couldn't imagine how he would react to someone prosecuting him.

He doesn't wipe the blood off of his face, sitting up calmly and looking back. Dr. Elaine Brown is standing on the staircase, shotgun still in hand.

"I-I did it. I killed him." Something twists in Malcolm's chest, and he slowly desends down the stairs. There's a large crash somewhere in the house and then a cry of, "Police!"

JT enters the archway near the staircase and raises his gun. "No!" Malcolm tells him. "No. Wait."

"Elaine, you're in the middle of an intense psychedelic episode. I know it may seem like a lot right now, but in the end it's just going to be a bad trip." He manages to take the gun from her, taking out the bullets and turning the safety on, throwing it to the side.

"You can't run from the fear. You just have to.. fall into it, okay? You did this." He gestures up the stairs at Render's body. Cold and lifeless. "You have to live with it now."

#my fic #my writing #the same #prxdigal sxn #malcolm bright #malcolm whitly #malcolm/martin #martin whitly #jt tarmel #dead dove do not eat #i apologize to this fandom

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dictionarywrites · 6 years ago

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Know Your Jeffs: A Guide To Goldblum’s Characters

This isn’t an exhaustive list, and I will be updating it as I watch more Goldblum movies, adding in the characters as I pick them up! Everything is below the cut so that I can just update as I take more stuff in.

The descriptions of movies and characters are very much not impartial, but they should give you an idea of what you’re in for if you want to look the film up. I’m only including stuff I’ve already seen, plus Raines, which I feel like I’m never gonna be able to get hold of, and am heartbroken about.

Movies are listed in CHRONOLOGICAL order, but if you CTRL+F, you can search for a particular character name, date, or movie/TV title. This is very much under construction. There are currently 40 Jeffs on the list.

1978 - Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers, dir. Philip Kaufman - IMDb

Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers is a film about a kind of alien who comes to Earth and steals people’s bodies - effectively, they make up their own pod-versions of them, and then turn the original to dust.

Jack Bellicec is a poet in New York City, who owns a bathhouse with his wife, Nancy. This film is a sci-fi horror, and Jack is earnest but antsy throughout - he’s a real cutie, and every much a good guy. He’s just the sweetest, and is generally in a state of complete and utter terror, whilst still trying to keep grounded and keep thinking forward.

1980 - The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow, dir. Henning Schellerup, IMDb

Okay, so, for a stupid TV movie from the 80s, this is actually really cute It loosely follows the plot of the short story, but generally with a happier ending and a lot more fun antics from Ichabod Crane, and it’s just great fun. A schoolteacher comes to the valley of Sleepy Hollow, and finds himself facing down the silly ghost stories continuously thrown forward by the locals.

Ichabod Crane is the cutest - he’s soft and sweet with the children, like he is in the short story, on top of being lanky and clumsy and a little stupid; he lacks a lot of his arrogance that he has in the short story, and instead he’s much less of a dick when he criticizes the ghost stories and stuff. He’s lovely, I adore him.

1980 - Tenspeed and Brownshoe, TV Series - IMDb

Tenspeed and Brownshoe is a delight - it’s a detective TV series with a very light-hearted tone, and it’s very comfortable to just settle back and watch casually.

Lionel Whitney is... a trip. A chartered accountant turned gumshoe, Lionel starts his own detective agency in L.A. after breaking up with his fiancée and meeting the charming (and duplicitous) E.L. Turner, a conman and scam artist. E.L. is his partner in the business, and the two combine strengths - Lionel with his idolisation of and knowledge of the 40s pulp fictional detective, Mark Savage, as well as his black belt in karate; E.L. with his thousands of accumulated skills, including being a master of disguise, a smooth-talker, and a winner at sleight of hand.

Lionel is a dote: he’s just the sweetest, and he really gives off Bertie Wooster vibes, but with an air of genuine competence Mr Wooster never had. He’s truly incredible, and all the episodes of Tenspeed and Brownshoe are up on YouTube, so it’s really worth watching!

1981 - Threshold, dir. Richard Pearce - IMDb

Okay, so Threshold... Big old snooze fest. Not a very engaging movie, not an especially good movie - I forgot a good deal of the movie after I finished watching it. It was uninspiring and a bit bland. The concept is basically that a pioneer in mechanical science re: bio-engineering comes up with a heart valve to replace a little girl’s heart - the pioneer being Jeff Goldblum’s character - and a doctor puts it in the little girl, but it’s a very unpopular decision, because it’s not organic. Obviously, in the 80s, that was a much bigger deal than it is now.

Aldo Gehring is just... Adorable. Too earnest, a little bit arrogant, and he’s just far too baby-faced for the age he’s textually said to be to be believable, but like... You know! It’s a dull movie either way, and Aldo isn’t a huge part of it.

1983 - The Big Chill, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

The Big Chill is a film about a group of college friends that meet up for the first time in like, a decade after one of their closest friends commits suicide. They all come for the funeral, and spend a few days together in the aftermath.

A lot of people seem to dislike Michael Gold, but like, he’s kind of one of the most tragic of the figures in the movie - a lot of their friends don’t remember him initially, and he really isn’t good at doing anything other than compartmentalising and shoving down his emotions. He’s brittle and a little sharp, and maybe a bit too honest for his own good, but I really love him, and I totally rec him if you can handle the subject matter, which is obviously very grim and very sad.

1984 - The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, dir. W.D. Richter - IMDb

Buckaroo Banzai is a guy who’s basically, like, any eight-year-old’s Mary Sue - he’s a cowboy, a neurosurgeon, an expert test pilot, a rockstar, etc... And they play it completely straight. Leading his band of hypercompetent pretty boys, The Hong-Kong Cavaliers, he saves the world, if not the universe, on the regular.

Doctor Sidney Zweibel, a.k.a. New Jersey, is a new addition to the team in The Adventures, and he’s a neurosurgeon who went to med school with Buckaroo. He’s a would-be cowboy, complete with boots, hat and chaps, and he’s just the cutest thing in the world, a sweet and pure boy. 10/10 Goldblums for Sid Zweibel.

1985 - Silverado, dir. Lawrence Kasdan - IMDb

Mmm, Silverado is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and it has little to no plot. Even for a Western, I found it incredibly dry and disjointed, and I can’t in good fatih recommend it to anybody, even though John Cleese is inexplicably a sheriff midway through.

However. Slick (whose actual name is Calvin Stanhope) is really fucking hot, and so you should watch his scenes on YouTube, even if you don’t watch the movie (which you shouldn’t). Slick’s screentime tocks up to around 15-20 minutes, out of a movie that’s genuinely like, two and a half hours long.

Slick is like, a casino man with a knife in his boot; he wears furs; he’s terrible. He’s so great, I adore him.

1985 - Into The Night, dir. John Landis - IMDb

Into The Night is... a little hard to describe. It’s like, a crime thriller movie with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer, and with a cameo from David Bowie, as well as about 700 other Hollywood lads who Landis knew. I think the plot is... loose, and the film itself isn’t the greatest, but the main characters are pretty great.

Ed Okin is an astrophysicist dissatisfied with his job and his life in general, who abruptly becomes plagued by this inescapable insomnia, and subsequently becomes embroiled in this whole crime plot across from Pfeiffer. I really love Ed - because of the insomnia, he tends to underreact to most of the situations around him, and he’s very likable.

1985 - Transylvania 6-5000, dir. Ruby de Luca - IMDb

Is TR 6-5000 a good movie? No, absolutely not. But should you watch it? Oh, yes.

This is like, a comedy/absurdist horror/pastiche, lots... It’s lots of stuff. Basically, these two reporters who do a Weekly World News style thing go to Transylvania to report on Frankenstein, and also meet some Igors, a werewolf, a vampire, etc.

Jack Harrison is such a great character - he’s pretty much eternally looking after his hapless partner, Gil, but both of them are as ridiculous as the other, each of them stumbling into bizarre situations. Definitely don’t take the movie too seriously, but it really is a fun thing, and it’s certainly worth watching for the goofy trip it is. Jack is a real sweetheart, and he’s so lovable - Gil certainly thinks so. ;)

1986 - The Fly, dir. David Cronenburg - IMDb

So, fair warning, I nearly vomited like, several times watching The Fly, and was on the verge of just turning it off a few times. It’s nearly forty years old, but the body horror of the effects really stands up, and it’s very gory toward the end. Despite its well-earned rep as such a gory film, though, The Fly is actually a heartbreaking tragedy, so definitely don’t expect it to be lacking in the feels department if you can stomach it.

Seth Brundle (yeah, poor guy, what a name) is a really impressive engineer and scientist, and he invents a machine that should enable him to teleport objects from one electronic pod to another. Unfortunately, when teleporting himself, he becomes melded with an intruder to the pod - a fly - and begins a horrifying transition into something other than human.

Seth at the start is... He’s a genius, but he’s naive, arrogant, and a little too trusting in how earnest he is. As time goes on, and he begins the change into Brundlefly, he becomes much more erratic, and his personality changes a lot. I totally rec Seth, honestly.

1988 - Vibes, dir. Ken Kwapis - IMDB

Vibes is a fucking trip. It’s a movie about two psychics - Jeff Goldblum’s character, Nick Deezy, who can tell the history of an object by touching it, and Cyndi Lauper’s character, Sylvia Pickel, who is a medium. Yes, you read that right. Cyndi Lauper. It’s incredible.

Vibes is actually a much better movie than I expected - it’s a genuinely funny comedy, it’s ridiculous and cartoonish and stupid, but it’s fun. Cyndi Lauper and Goldblum have a tango scene at one point, and the height differential is so extreme that she’s literally wrapped around his waist and he’s just carrying her around.

Nick Deezy himself is a really interesting character - he’s kinda used to being used and pushed around because of his psychic powers, but he’s a guy with such a lot of courage and genuine empathy for others, and I just think he’s so sweet.

1988 - Earth Girls Are Easy, dir. Julien Temple - IMDb

So... Earth Girls Are Easy is in the same vein as Vibes for me - it’s a fun romp, and so long as you don’t take it too seriously, it’s a really enjoyable movie. It’s about these three furry aliens that drop down to Earth, and are trying to pick up the language and have a good time. It’s good banter, and it’s also a musical, because-- It was 1988, okay?

Mac is like, probably one of the most genuinely sweet characters out of the ones on this list - he’s very caring, and he’s doing his best to do good whilst not really being able to navigate the world around him very easily. He’s wonderful, and I can’t rec Earth Girls enough.

He’s also a big, furry, blue guy in his underwear for the first part of the movie, if that helps.

1989 - The Tall Guy, dir. Mel Smith - IMDb

So, disclaimer. This film is written by Richard Curtis, so like... It’s snappy, it’s clever, but it’s also a little insufferable and kinda misogynistic the whole way through, with the classic Curtis obsession with infidelity, where characters cheat on one another whether it makes sense or not.

That aside, I really enjoyed the first two acts of this movie, and while the third one falls very flat, I still think it’s worth watching. Goldblum’s character, Dexter King, plays the straight man in Rowan Atkinson’s comedy sketch act, but goes on to have a romantic relationship with Emma Thompson, and those links are just... So cute.

I think Dexter is kind of a dick, but by no means does that make him unlikable, and I’d still rec The Tall Guy! I’m not sure how long Goldblum was in the UK for - there’s a nude sex scene with Goldblum and Thompson, and I was really thrown, because he’s super pale in this film, compared to similar nude scenes in like, The Fly. So there’s your fun tidbit for the day lmao.

1990 - Mister Frost, dir. Philippe Setbon - IMDb

This film is... Odd. As a thriller, it’s fine - you know, it’s average. It isn’t so terrible, but it’s not great either. But as like, a film, there are aspects where it’s just inexplicably terrible - some of the lines are dubbed over, for some reason, and the sound quality is so off in random moments; there are odd moments where the camera is just too close to the actors’ faces, even for a close-up; technically, this film just has some bizarre and glaring... errors.

The plot is interesting, though, and I did enjoy it for that aspect - Mister Frost is a serial killer institutionalized in an attempt to cure him of his murderous tendencies, and he then professes to be Lucifer himself.

Mister Frost is a funny guy. He’s snide, clever, self-obsessed and sharp - I really liked him, and I totally think he’s worth a watch.

1992 - Fathers & Sons, dir. Paul Mones - IMDb

[icon to be added if I can ever get a decent fucking picture or screencap or something of this film]

This film was bad. I didn’t care for it. Fathers & Sons is, however, like... Very human, I guess. Max, Goldblum’s character, runs a bookstore on the coast and is having trouble communicating with his son, Ed; there’s a lot of tension between them based off the death of Ed’s mother and Max’s own character flaws, as well as Max’s temper. There’s fucking voiceover in the film, which is used clumsily and just comes across as terrible, but there aren’t any glaring technical issues throughout like there are with Mister Frost.

Max himself is not, in my opinion, a very likable character? He’s certainly relatively sympathetic, and you can see where he’s coming from, but he’s got a terrible temper and the tension with Ed is very much his own doing in a lot of respects - despite my personal dislikes, however, Goldblum is as ever a marvel, and you really do feel that Max is a whole, complete person.

1992 - Shooting Elizabeth, dr. Baz Taylor - IMDb

This film was a fucking trip and a half. The premise is that this guy, Howard, really hates his wife, and decides he hates her so much that he’s gonna kill her, but when she goes missing, he is arrested for her murder even though he never got around to it. It’s a generically confused movie which neither really meets its labelled genres of comedy or thriller, but wouldn’t do well under drama or romance either. It’s odd.

Howard Pigeon, as a character, is deeply unstable. A lot of the moments in the movie that I think are meant to be comedic just end up being tragic, because you can see how upset he is, how freaked out he is, and how disconnected from reality and rational thought he is. He’s also just... A really fucking bad person, but to be honest, so is his wife, so like... Hey. It is what it is, I guess.

1992 - Deep Cover, dir. Bill Duke - IMDb

Deep Cover is fucking incredible. It’s easily one of my favourite movies now, and I just die over it, to be honest. Playing across from Laurence Fishburne (then billed as Larry), David Jason (Elias in the script, and I don’t know why they changed it, maybe to make his name less blatantly Jewish, but I assume none of them had ever heard of Only Fools and Horses) is a low-down cocaine mogul trying to break out on his own from the local boss.

He’s a fascinating character, and I just adore him - the film itself is a very gritty noir that really considers lines of racial intersection and prejudice within both the police force and the drug trade, and David himself is constantly suffering from antisemitism and a lot of very targeted homophobic remarks, and it’s heavily implied he wants to fuck John, Laurence Fishburne’s character. David is erratic, sharp, and extremely brittle with a very short temper: he and John kinda balance each other out, because John’s a much cooler, calmer guy, and I just love their dynamic.

David’s my son. I love him. I will cry over him forever.

1993 - Jurassic Park, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDB ↪1997 - Jurassic Park: The Lost World, dir. Steven Spielberg - IMDb ↪2018 - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, dir. J.A. Bayona - IMDb

So, like, I’m sure you know the basic concept of Jurassic Park. A crazed Walt Disney parody in white linen with seemingly unlimited money decides to clone a bunch of fucking dinosaurs and put them into a theme park, and it goes horribly wrong. These films are genuinely great sci-fi, raising some wonderful philosophical questions about ownership, ethics, and our place in the universe, and the voice of that philosophy usually belongs to Doctor Ian Malcolm, a mathematician who specialises in chaos theory.

Ian Malcolm... I just adore him, I really do. You know, I’ve read the book of course, as well as the seen all the Jurassic Park and Jurassic World movies, and Ian is just a delight - he’s bright, he’s sarcastic, but he’s genuinely full of feeling and so eager to talk to other people, to connect with them, etc. I just find him fascinating, and even if sci-fi isn’t your thing, you’ll love Jurassic Park for him alone.

He reprises his role in the latest Jurassic World movie - I can’t, in all good conscience, really recommend the Jurassic World movies, but... He is a silver fox.

1995 - Hideaway, dir. Brett Leonard - IMDb

Hideaway is a supernatural thriller based around the concept of demonic possession, and an antiques dealer - Hatch Harrison - finds he has visions of a local serial killer after being revived from being dead for several minutes. Using those visions to thwart the killer, he and his family realise the cause is supernatural.

Hatch is a really cool dude, and I like him a lot - he’s got the strongest dad energies, and he’s so, so caring. Even grieving and tense, like, he’s just doing his best, and he’s such a good guy, I really adore him.

1995 - Nine Months, dir. Chris Columbus - IMDb

Nine Months is a terrible movie thick with a deeply unsettling ideology re: the whole “everybody really wants kids and must have them”, and I honestly despised it throughout. It’s just a terrible movie, and Columbus always ranges from “this guy is a vaguely bad director” to “this guy is a fucking twat”, and there is nothing vague about the badness of this movie.

That aside, however, Goldblum’s character is kind of a delight. Sean Fletcher is a painter (of paintings, not houses) and like... Layabout? He’s a little erratic, he changes his mind about stuff constantly, but he’s a really sound guy, and he cares a lot about Hugh Grant’s character, who is the protagonist. He’s really fun in a movie that’s just garbage the way through.

1995 - Powder, dir. Victor Salva - IMDb

Powder is a very sad movie, to be honest. It’s about this lad who’s like, an albino with telekinetic powers, and when his parents die, he ends up having to go into the public school system, where he’s bullied an awful lot. It’s extremely brutal about a lot of the bullying stuff, and it does come across very accurately; just as a general warning, there’s... an uncomfortable tone to it, although nothing directly or graphically terrible, especially re: sexuality, which I noticed even before looked Salva up and realised he was that paedophile that did Jeepers Creepers. It’s just something to be aware of.

Jeff’s character is... a delight, however. Donald Ripley is a high school teacher who’s genuinely really passionate about teaching, has no small amount of sympathy for all of his students, and is just-- He’s really sweet, and I love him. Despite the uncomfortable gaze of the film, he retains a paternal air, and I love it.

1996 - Independence Day, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb ↪2016 - Independence Day: Resurgence, dir. Roland Emmerich - IMDb

Independence Day, honestly, I expected to be like, bad sci-fi dreck, and it genuinely isn’t. While I think the premise is inherently stupid (the whole evil aliens invade thing), it’s actually executed so well, and I just love it as a flick - Judaism saves the day in many aspects, and it’s so nice to have that positive thing mixed up in it.

David Levinson is such a sweet guy - he’s arrogant and a little bit of an ass, but like, he’s so caring: he constantly worries about his dad, he’s so loyal to his ex-wife without being creepy or weird about it after like, three years; he fucking recycles and uses his bike to get around the city... Like, he’s an underachiever initially, but he’s a genuinely nice guy despite his abrasive personality at times, you know?

I just love him.

And he reprises the role in the new movie, which isn’t as good as the first one, but is still worth a watch for Julius Levinson’s antics, picking up grandchildren as he drives across America.

1998 - Holy Man, dir. Stephen Herek - IMDb

My full review of Holy Man is here.

Holy Man is not a good film. It’s about an exec who runs a TV shopping channel, but is like, really shit at it, and he ends up getting G., a homeless guru played by Eddie Murphy, to sell stuff for him. Nonsensical and odd although the film is, it’s actually surprisingly sweet and wholesome, and I really enjoyed a lot of the humour.

Ricky is a pretty bad guy at the beginning, but he’s slick and fun and good-humoured - he’s mostly just selfish more than outright evil, and he actually ends up becoming a lot less selfish toward the end of the film. He’s a sweetheart, in some respects.

2001 - Cats & Dogs, dir. Lawrence Guterman - IMDb

God, this movie is so bad, and so much more racist than I remembered? There’s this whole racist sequence with some ninja cats, complete with the chopsticks-style music playing in the background, and that’s... Awful.

But Charles Brody is actually really funny, to be honest. Goldblum somehow makes him feel really human - earnest and work-obsessed, but still desperate to be a good father despite not being naturally inclined, and that’s... Honestly, I hate it when he does this. He takes the stupidest character in the stupidest movie and makes them feel like a real person, and I hate him for it.

Brody is cute.

2002 - Igby Goes Down, dir. Burr Steers - IMDb

Igby Goes Down is... Hm. What best to call it? Insipid teenage horseshit. The whole film is just fucking terrible, honestly - it centres around the Culkin that isn’t Kevin in Home Alone, and he’s some unbearable little New York teenager who thinks the world revolves around him and is upset at the prospect that perhaps he should go to school and/or get a job.

Anyway, Goldblum is at his least moral and most hot, he is revolting, and he is so sexy. There’s a weird thing where he’s the family friend of a family that’s pretty anti-semitic, but they play it straight, as if Jeff Goldblum’s face isn’t one of the most Jewish faces anybody’s ever seen, but that aside, he’s really sexy. Sociopathic, abruptly violent, and infrequently undressed, but it’s not worth watching the rest of the film for, to be honest.

2003 - Spinning Boris, dir. Roger Spottiswoode - IMDb

Spinning Boris. What a film.

Here, listen, we just watched this, me and @annethecatdetective, and it was absolutely nothing that I expected,or could expect. It’s a heavily fictionalised “based on a true story” film about three Rpublicans who went to work on the Boris Yeltsin campaign in ‘96. We, apparently, are once again meant to believe Jeff Goldblum as a goyische Republican, which--

I mean, what can I tell you? He does it so well. George Gorton’s fictionalised counterpart is charismatic, charming and funny, but so is most of the movie - the Republican trio are all morons, but that actually lends to their likability in the end, and Gorton is the most lovable of the three, taking the foreground. This movie was like, actually really good.

2004 - The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I hated this film, and had to fast-forward a lot of it. I’m not a fan of Anderson at all, much as Goldblum is always singing his praises - I just don’t get it, I guess. Anderson is a master of visual spectacle, but he’s one of the worst writers out there, and pithy lines don’t make up for the complete lack of character that any of his films have.

Alistair Hennessy is no exception. He’s pithy, vaguely (comedically?) sociopathic, and is kinda DTF... And that’s about it. Even Goldblum can’t really add that much depth to this guy, because there’s no depth in other characters for him to play off.

2006 - Man of the Year, dir. Barry Levinson - IMDb

Mmm, so, Man of the Year surprised me.

It’s definitely quite weak, when it comes to plot and writing - the jokes aren’t at their strongest; it can’t really decide whether it wants to be a comedy or a political thriller; some of the jokes and commentary are very off-colour and have not aged well; it seeks to set out a political moral without making any particular targets. Nonetheless, I rather enjoyed it - it doesn’t pretend to be a higher art than it is, and I think it’s still enjoyable. The primary drawback is probably that the premise of a comedian being elected president of the USA is much less hilariously unbelievable in the wake of the Trump campaign, and that colours my perception a little - some of the protag’s comments about immigration or women, the way he responds to other candidates in debate, Hell, even Robin Williams’ wearing of a red baseball cap at one point... All of those elements kinda take the humour out of it a bit because of the Trump election, but hey, it was 2006 - how could they possibly know?

Goldblum’s character in this, Mr Stewart, is the lawyer and primed attack dog of a corrupt company that produces the electronic voting machines responsible for Williams’ character being elected. He isn’t at his most Goldblum-esque in this, I have to say - he’s sharp, nasty, and very business-focused, but he doesn’t get that much time on screen, and his on-screen moments don’t lean very much into his usual charm and humour. Stewart is actually a very dull, run-of-the-mill evil corporate type, and he was a pretty boring character.

2007 - Raines, TV Series - IMDb

I will write whatever you want if you can get me a download link for this, or somewhere where I can just buy the fucking series, from Ireland. I am desperate to watch it, because it looks fucking awful. Michael Raines is a detective who hallucinates that his victims help him solve the crimes.

Doesn’t that sound so bad? I need it.

2009-2010 - Law & Order: Criminal Intent, TV Series - IMDb

So like, you know the shtick with Law & Order. It’s a gory, stupid crime procedural that’s just really stupid. This one, Criminal Intent, is about major crimes, but honestly, I have little to no idea exactly what a major crime is, even having watched the two seasons in which Zach Nichols is a marauding force.

Zach Nichols himself is... Fascinating. So, you know how there’s this fucking trend of just, mean detective who everyone lets be mean because he’s a ~genius~ or whatever, and everyone is always like “ugh, he fucking sucks, but we gotta let him do that”? That is not the case with Zach Nichols. Zach Nichols is nothing short of a genuine sociopath, continuously manipulative, randomly and without provocation is he cruel to victims, witnesses and criminals alike. At no point does anybody call him out for being terrible, or even admitting he’s being terrible. It’s like no one registers the cruelty of his behaviour, or cares.

Honestly, I expect it’s quite accurate as to the New York police system, and in the mean time, it’s really fucking hot. He’s my favourite of all of Goldblum’s characters, and he disgusts me on literally every level.

2010 - Morning Glory, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Morning Glory is... It starts out very bland and uninspiring, but it does grow on you more as it goes on. In my opinion, it would have been better if they’d just tried to bill it genuinely, as a comedy-drama, which is what it is - instead, they tried to shoehorn in a very ugly actor I forget the name of as a love interest for Rachel McAdams, I presume in desperate hope of earning that rom-com dollar. Nonetheless, it’s a cute enough concept - TV journalist gets her dream job running a news studio, and has to get bully and asshole anchor Harrison Ford to be fun and wholesome for the morning show. It’s cute, and I do think it’s worth watching despite some of the issues with it.

Jerry is like... He’s so fucking great. Jerry is just an ass. He’s rude, he’s biting, he’s constantly telling McAdams’ character to make stuff that is impossible work, and he very much eats, breathes, and sleeps his job, while packing in time to jog and to fuck an extremely stupid girl, Lisa, he put in the newsroom, who believes in shit like past lives and angels, and is literally the best character in the movie.

Jerry and Lisa are the fucking greatest, everyone else can go home.

According to the IMDb credits, he has a wife who is unnamed, but like... I have no memory of her even being in the movie, honestly. It’s not the greatest of cinematic works.

2010 - The Switch, dir. Josh Gordan & Will Speck - IMDb

The Switch? Bad concept. It’s about Jason Bateman’s character stealing the sperm donation that Jennifer Aniston was going to use to get pregnant, and then replacing it with his own. So like, off the bat, the whole reproductive rape, grievious sexual assault thing, that the movie... Kinda expects you to view as romantic? Somehow? I don’t.... get it. Apparently it’s okay because their characters are “friends”.

Anyway, moving onto the important part, Leonard, Jeff’s character, is great. He’s go the BDE going on; at one point he’s walking on the treadmill while eating a candy bar, and mocks Jason Bateman for not doing the same; he’s sarcastic, eccentric, and a massive THOT that lets women handfeed him; and, inexplicably, despite being Jason Bateman’s boss, him and Bateman are best friends. 10 out of 10 Goldblums for Leonard, who they didn’t bother to give a last name to.

2012 - Zambezia, dir. Wayne Thornley - IMDb

Egh. Like, even for a kid’s movie this one was pretty bland? The actual design and animation is pretty beautiful - I love the designs of all the wildlife, which is the main focus of it, and that’s really well-done throughout; there’s also a star-studded cast of voice actors. The story is pretty dull, and the script ain’t great, but hey. It’s a kid’s movie, and I think it does what it means to do.

Ajax, Goldblum’s character, is pretty cute - he’s like, a busybody, like the fucking... Toucan or whatever he is in the Lion King. He’s the advisor to the bird king or whatever. That’s... I mean, that’s pretty much it. There’s very little to say here.

2013 - Le Week-end, dir. Roger Michell - IMDb

Le Week-end is fucking adorable. It’s about this struggling middle-aged couple who go to Paris for a weekend to try to rekindle their marriage, and they run around committing shenanigans, arguing, and generally being a little bit adorable.

They meet Morgan, who is an old schoolfriend of Jim Broadbent’s character, and is now like, a best-selling writer in economics, and he invites them for a really stupid dinner party full of really impressive people, which makes both of them feel very inadequate. Jim Broadbent spends a lot of the party with Morgan’s weird teenage son, chatting about how Morgan is kind of a dick, but honestly, Morgan is just... Not self-aware. He’s pretty much in love with Jim Broadbent the entire time, and sings everybody’s praises, then comes to rescue them both at the end.

He’s very cute, kinda selfish, kind of disconnected from reality, and I have a lot of affection for him.

2014 - The Grand Budapest Hotel, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

The Grand Budapest Hotel is like... It’s a Wes Anderson film. Egh.

Deputy Kovacs is probably the least Goldblum-y character in any Goldblum role. He doesn’t have many of the verbal tics, and to be honest, he doesn’t even move his hands in the typical Goldblum fashion - if you look at the dinner scene, you can see his fingers twitching as he tries to keep his hand still.

Kovacs has some good lines, but like any Anderson character, doesn’t really have a character.

2015 - Mortdecai, dir. David Koepp - IMDb

Mortdecai is a terrible fucking film, and I despised it. It was just awful, it really was, and Johnny Depp and Gwyneth Paltrow’s characters were each fucking insufferable. It’s about this posh cunt who sells art, and then lots of people try to kill him because he’s posh, and a cunt.

Jeff’s character, Milton Krampf, is the father of Olivia Munn’s character, and Olivia Munn is a nymphomaniac who wants to fuck Johnny Depp. Milton gets like, 5 minutes of screentime, and is weirdly on board with his daughter banging Johnny Depp, but that’s it. If you ask my opinion, they should have had Milton try to bang Depp, and let Olivia Munn be in charge, but like... It was a bad movie. There was no thinking outside the box.

2017 - Thor: Ragnarok, dir. Taika Waititi - IMDb

I mean, what do I even say?

Thor: Ragnarok is like, my least favourite Thor film, but not because it’s not great. Thor: Ragnarok is so much better than most of the other Marvel films put together - it’s fun, it’s snappy, it’s beautifully shot, it has a vision, etc. etc. Taika Waititi’s humour mostly isn’t my thing, but his comedy is so well-ranging and so well-done that like, even if it isn’t your thing, you still get laughs out of his movies. Ragnarok is a great movie - it’s not my favourite for like, Loki’s characterisation, but... Honestly, when you’re watching it, that stuff just falls away. It’s so entertaining and so well done, even if I don’t agree with some of the characterization and story choices.

And the GM, God, he’s... Just terrible. I adore him. You know I adore him, this whole blog is just GM fanfiction. He’s an Eldritch being with unlimited power who forces people to fight in an intergalactic alien arena while shtupping Loki Laufeyson and being too lazy to properly rule a planet. What’s not to love?

2018 - Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity, dir. Ryan Polito - IMDb

Hilarity for Charity was not funny, and was generally very painful to watch. I would recommend you skip through all of the “comedy” except for Tiffany Kaddish and John Mulaney.

At the end of the special, Jeff Goldblum plays the human face of the Netflix Algorithm, and playfully talks about destroying all human life. It’s pretty cute.

2018 - Isle of Dogs, dir. Wes Anderson - IMDb

I fell asleep during this. Like, within a half hour, I fell asleep.

Goldblum is underutilised, but to be honest, so are a lot of the characters - Isle of Dogs is a very weird movie, and I’m a little unclear as to some of the choices Anderson made with it, but visually, it’s a very strong movie, and it’s more enjoyable than most.

I still fell asleep.

Goldblum’s character, Duke, is like, a husky with a cheerful attitude, and he’s constantly gossiping and making shit up. His lines are good fun.

2018 - Hotel Artemis, dir. Drew Pearce - IMDb

Now, Hotel Artemis, not a great movie. The plot is very lacking, the characters mostly cardboard archetypes instead of developed individuals... I think the film has a lot of issues with telling the audience the stuff that could be shown much more artfully, but like, egh.

Despite those issues, Orian Franklin - Niagara - is a very interesting character. He’s in the movie for a very short amount of time (barely twenty-five minutes of screentime, if that) but he’s a really interesting enigma, and I really loved what little they bothered to do with him.

He’s one of those characters that’s much more interesting in fanfic than in the canon.

#as defined by dictionary #jeff goldblum #jgcu #dictionary writes #this is very much under construction lol

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kimchislaphearts · 6 years ago

Text

Naked Fireman (2017)

Genre: Mystery, Crime, Romance, Drama

Plot:

Kang Chul Soo is an enthusiastic fireman who poses as a nude model to make money for his sick friend. He is then targeted as the criminal of an arson-murder case that took place 10 years and, together with mysterious heiress Han Jin Ah, he tries to find the real culprit.

Cast and Crew:

Lee Joon Hyuk as Kang Chul Soo

Jung In Sun as Han Jin Ah

Supporting Cast – Lee Won Jong, Jo Hee Bong, Seo Jung Yeon, Park Hoon, Kil Hae Yoon, Kim Ji Hoon, Lee Doo Suk, Lee Do Gyeom, Park Ji Hoon, Ryu Ui Hyun, Ahn Do Kyu, Lee Young Eun.

Director – Park Jin Sook

Screenwriter – Yoo Jung Hee

Producers – Lee Gun Joon (chief), Jo Woong (Father is Strange <3), Lee Young Bum

Music: One nice OST track – Now Give me a Smile – Ki Ryun and fitting background music

Overall:

I’ll be the first to admit that this little perv added this drama to her list when it was announced thanks to the subject matter. Then I pretty much forgot about it because no one was talking about it. Then I watched City Hall which was quickly followed by A Poem a Day and my little crush on Lee Joon Hyuk snowballed. Right now, I need to watch everything with him in it and what.. he is the lead in something already on my list.. of course it’s getting moved up and I’m really glad it did.

Just let me fangirl a little. He’s a beautiful man.

His face just kept getting dirtier and cuter. IT WAS WONDERFUL.

Now, I’ve seen him sans shirt in City Hunter but boy was covered in so much oil he could have easily started a fire. Plus he has totally buffed up on his military service, this girl approves! And it only takes 12 minutes before he removes his shirt for the first time. ^^

This is the first time I’ve seen him go full smile, such a contrast to his character in A Poem a Day, ahhh he’s got dimples too. CUTE <3

Also Lee Joon Hyuk donated his earnings from this to the fire service, totally approve!

Enough of my fangirling, onto the drama.

This was such a well done mini-series, everything about it was tight. I really liked the way they told the story from the two leads perspectives and their memories of the past, especially how the trauma had shaped Jin Ah as a person.

The characters were interesting and really well developed considering it was a total of 4 hours, sometimes you don’t get that much in a full 16 hour drama. The cast was littered with familiar faces and they all had excellent chemistry. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between Kang Chul Soo and his mentor Jang Kwang Ho (Lee Won Jong).

Although, I have to say, it was way to soon for me to see Gil Hae Yun screaming “Jin Ah” after the trauma of Something in the Rain.

The mystery of the drama isn’t too speculative, but when you work it out quickly you feel pretty clever, and continue with the journey of the characters.

At times it was hilarious. Others it was suspenseful. And sad.

Overall, I found it a really enjoyable drama to watch, and even if It didn’t come with the bonus of copious fanservice ala Lee Joon Hyuk it would still be worthy of praise.

BUT I AM NOT COMPLAINING.

NOT. AT. ALL. <3

Rating: 10/10

Watch it: Viki

#kbs drama special #2017 #review #lee joon hyuk #jung in sung #naked fireman #kdrama

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kpopmusiclyricsalbums · 4 years ago

Video

youtube

BTS Cypher Pt. 4

Group: BTS

Album: Wings

Time: 4:54

Year Released: October 10, 2016

Lyrics: Chris Tricky Stewart, Medor J. Pierre, RM, J-Hope, Suga

Music: Chris Tricky Stewart, Medor J. Pierre

Highest Place Reached on Charts: 7 (Us World)

Average Age of Members at the Time of Release: 22.3

Lyrics

“이름, 이름!” sorry bae

“발음, 발음!” sorry bae

“딕션, 딕션, 딕션!” sorry bae

“Oh, face not an idol..” sorry bae

숨쉬고 있어서 I’m sorry bae

너무 건강해서 I’m sorry bae

방송합니다 I’m sorry bae

Errthing errthing errthing

Sorry bae

지금 내가 내는 소리 bae

누군가에겐 개소리 bae

까는 패턴 좀 바꾸지 bae

지루해질라캐 boring bae

이젠 니가 안 미워

이젠 니가 안 미워 sorry bae

북이 돼줄게 걍 쎄게 치고 말어

그래 해보자 사물놀이 bae

난 괴물, 너무 길어 꼬리 bae

어차피 넌 날 쏘지 bae

그럴 바엔 편해 동물원이 bae

너도 원하잖아 씹을거리 bae

니가 날 싫어해도 you know me

무플보단 악플이 좋아

난 널 몰라

But you know my name

---

“ireum, ireum!” sorry bae

“bareum, bareum!” sorry bae

“diksyeon, diksyeon, diksyeon!” sorry bae

“Oh, face not an idol..” sorry bae

sumswigo isseoseo I’m sorry bae

neomu geonganghaeseo I’m sorry bae

bangsonghapnida I’m sorry bae

Errthing errthing errthing

Sorry bae

jigeum naega naeneun sori bae

nugungaegen gaesori bae

kkaneun paeteon jom bakkuji bae

jiruhaejillakae boring bae

ijen niga an miwo

ijen niga an miwo sorry bae

bugi dwaejulge gyang ssege chigo mareo

geurae haeboja samulnori bae

nan goemul, neomu gireo kkori bae

eochapi neon nal ssoji bae

geureol baen pyeonhae dongmurwoni bae

neodo wonhajanha ssibeulgeori bae

niga nal silheohaedo you know me

mupeulbodan akpeuri joha

nan neol molla

But you know my name

---

“Name, name!” sorry bae

“Pronunciation, pronunciation!” sorry bae

“Diction, diction, diction!” sorry bae

“Oh, face not an idol..” sorry bae

I’m sorry bae because I’m breathing

I’m sorry bae because I’m so healthy

I’m sorry bae I’m broadcasting

Errthing errthing errthing

Sorry bae

The sound I’m making right now, bae

Is all dog noise to someone, bae

You should change your bashing pattern, bae

It’ll start to get boring, boring bae

I don’t dislike you anymore

I don’t dislike you anymore, sorry bae

I’ll be the drum, just hit me hard

Let’s just try it, samulnori, bae

I’m a monster, my tail is too long, bae

You’ll shoot me anyway, bae

In that case, a zoo would be more comfortable, bae

You want it too, something to chew on, bae

Even if you don’t like me, you know me

I like hate comments more than no comments

I don’t know you

But you know my name

All

I love I love I love myself [x2]

I know I know I know myself

Ya playa haters you should love yourself

Brr

J-Hope

I wanna get 잠 time

쉴 틈 없이 받는 spotlight

Ahh you wanna be my life?

굶주린 놈들은 내 총알받이나 해

곱게 접해 내 멋대로 도배된

무대로 연행 다 결백 (okay)

But 만족 못해 절대 여기에

나 올라 저 위에 높게 높게 높게

그래 방식은 다르지

곱씹어도 가는 길

한 땀씩 바느질

못 할 거면 매듭지어

이젠 안 돼 가능이

포기라는 발음이

I love ma rule 내 bro들과 하는 일

그들만의 리그의 플레이어

난 그 위 감독이 될 테니

다 될 대로해

1VERSE에 이어 난 더 큰 그림을 그릴 테니

평생

그 위치에서 쭉 외쳐봐라

‘Dream come true’

명예와 부는 그게 아냐 you

다 결국 내 발바닥 츄

클릭해, 난 cat 다 mouse

골라 X 쳐 like kaws

난 내년 입주 ma house

에서 내 brick과 high five

눈뜨고 봐라 내 야망

귀 대고 들어라

처음이자 마지막이 될 말

---

I wanna get jam time

swil teum eopsi batneun spotlight

Ahh you wanna be my life?

gulmjurin nomdeureun nae chongalbadina hae

gopge jeophae nae meosdaero dobaedoen

mudaero yeonhaeng da gyeolbaek (okay)

But manjok moshae jeoldae yeogie

na olla jeo wie nopge nopge nopge

geurae bangsigeun dareuji

gopssibeodo ganeun gil

han ttamssik baneujil

mot hal geomyeon maedeupjieo

ijen an dwae ganeungi

pogiraneun bareumi

I love ma rule nae brodeulgwa haneun il

geudeulmanui rigeuui peulleieo

nan geu wi gamdogi doel teni

da doel daerohae

1VERSEe ieo nan deo keun geurimeul geuril teni

pyeongsaeng

geu wichieseo jjuk oechyeobwara

‘Dream come true’

myeongyewa buneun geuge anya you

da gyeolguk nae balbadak chyu

keullikhae, nan cat da mouse

golla X chyeo like kaws

nan naenyeon ipju ma house

eseo nae brickgwa high five

nuntteugo bwara nae yamang

gwi daego deureora

cheoeumija majimagi doel mal

---

I wanna get sleep time

Without a chance to rest, we’re receiving spotlight

Ahh you wanna be my life

Those who are starving, just be my human shield

Contacted softly and got spammed on my accord

Haul to the stage all innocent okay

But I can’t be satisfied just being here

I’m climbing up there, high high high

That’s right, my method is different

I take on the road no matter what

Sewing stich by stich

If you’re not able, put an end to it

There is no possibility

Of pronouncing “failure”

I love ma rule, the work that I do with my bros

Players in a league of their own

I’ll become the supervisor above them

So come what may

Following 1VERSE, I’ll draw a bigger picture

For the rest of your life,

Continue screaming from that position

Dream come true

Honor and wealth isn’t that you

Everyone chu on my foot sole after all

Click, I’m cat, everyone’s mouse

I choose and put an X like kaws

I move in next year ma house

And high five with my brick

Open your eyes and look at my ambition

Lean in your ears and listen

This will be the first and final words

All

I love I love I love myself [x2]

I know I know I know myself

Ya playa haters you should love yourself

Brr

Suga

Back back to the basic

Microphone check

Call me 뱁새 혹은 쎈캐

그래 rap game에 난 대인배

되게 해이해졌던

Rap man들을 갱생하는 게

내 첫 번째의 계획 hashtag

Sucka betta run 그리고 인스타 속 gang gang

그건 걔 인생이고

내 인생은 뭐 매일매일

Payday, paycheck 손목 위엔 rolex

Click clack to the bang bang

Click clack to the pow

I’m so high 어딜 넘봐

니가 도움닫기를 해도 손 닿기엔 높아

꽤나 먼 차이 절대 못 봐

너의 똥차들의 콩깍지를

몽땅 벗겨놓은 다음

죄다 농락한 뒤 송장이 된

면상 위를 so fly

Click clack to the bang, you and you

쉽게 얻은 게 하나도 없음에 늘 감사하네

니 인생이 어중간한 게 왜 내 탓이야

계속 그렇게 살아줘 적당하게

미안한데 앞으로 난 더 벌

건데 지켜봐줘

부디 제발 건강하게

---

Back back to the basic

Microphone check

Call me baepsae hogeun ssenkae

geurae rap gamee nan daeinbae

doege haeihaejyeotdeon

Rap mandeureul gaengsaenghaneun ge

nae cheot beonjjaeui gyehoek hashtag

Sucka betta run geurigo inseuta sok gang gang

geugeon gyae insaengigo

nae insaengeun mwo maeilmaeil

Payday, paycheck sonmok wien rolex

Click clack to the bang bang

Click clack to the pow

I’m so high eodil neombwa

niga doumdatgireul haedo son dahgien nopa

kkwaena meon chai jeoldae mot bwa

neoui ttongchadeurui kongkkakjireul

mongttang beosgyeonoheun daeum

joeda nongrakhan dwi songjangi doen

myeonsang wireul so fly

Click clack to the bang, you and you

swipge eodeun ge hanado eopseume neul gamsahane

ni insaengi eojungganhan ge wae nae tasiya

gyesok geureohge sarajwo jeokdanghage

mianhande apeuro nan deo beol

geonde jikyeobwajwo

budi jebal geonganghage

---

Back back to the basic

Microphone check

Call me a crow tit or badass

Yes in this rap game,

I’m the generous one

To rehabilitate the rap man who began to slack

Is my first plan hashtag

Sucka betta run gang gang in insta

That’s their life,

My life is just day by day

Payday, paycheck, rolex on my wrist

Click clack to the bang hang

Click clack to the pow

I’m so high how dare you covet

Even if you run up to it, it’s too high for you to reach

The difference is pretty big, you can’t see it

After shattering your delusions

About your shitty cars

And once everyone’s done toying with them

So fly above your face that became a corpse

Click clack to the bang, you and you

I’m always thankful, for not earning anything so easily

Why is it my fault, that your life is noncommittal

Keep on living like that vaguely

Sorry but continue to look

Because I’m gonna earn more from now

By all means please healthily

All

I love I love I love myself [x2]

I know I know I know myself

Ya playa haters you should love yourself

Brr

All

I love I love I love myself [x2]

I know I know I know myself

Ya playa haters you should love yourself

Brr

Line Distribution

Number of Words: 500

Sung by All: 84

Sung by individuals: 416

Highest: Suga - 150

J-hope - 139

Lowest: RM - 127

Chart Performance

South Korea Gaon Digital: 39

US World: 7

Overall Score

Lyric: 99

Chart: 154

Music Show: 0

Total: 253

Links

Lyrics: https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2016/10/bts-bangtansonyeondan-bts-cypher-pt-4

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Z8SSV778pw&feature=emb_title

Masterlist

#BTS #BTS Bts Cypher pt. 4 #BTS Cypher Pt. 4 #BTS Lyrics #Lyrics #kpop #kpop lyrics #Male Group #B-side #BTS Suga #BTS J-Hope #BTS RM #Suga #J-hope #RM

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