#and don't get me started on the Artemis thing

[hassiegfrieddoneanythingwrong]

Does anybody else feel like the fate grand order game did Asterios dirty when it came to his third skill and noble phantasm?

His third skill is basically his weapon which isn’t that great or special and his noble phantasm only gives him a buff and a debuff to his enemies which doesn’t fit the berserker class noble phantasm category that I know.

Usually when it comes to noble phantasms belonging to the berserker class they involve some form of regeneration, extra lives, immunity/invincibility or something that makes them a tank with the only exception being Asterios.

Hopefully if he ever makes an appearance in a proper fate anime that doesn’t belong to the “FGO story” he will have a better noble phantasm and third skill to make him more befitting of the berserker class.

Considering that Asterios has been in the game since day 1, and the only thing in his kit that has been upgraded is his NP, he has been screwed over in a way, but I think it's mostly because of what role he was in the original myth.

I remember Lapithae explained how Andromeda was just a pretty lady to be rescued in her myth, and similarly Asterios - or should I say the Minotaur - was just nothing more than a monster for Theseus to take down in his myth. That's kinda tricky to spin into a Servant with that, even with the more sympathetic takes on the Minotaur in recent years. Not impossible, just tricky (granted, we also have Beowulf, aka the ONE OF A FEW Berserkers who has never gone insane, he just likes to fight a lot like a DBZ character).

However, I don't think his NP is a problem. There's a screenshot of a gameplay video that has someone using Asterios against Abigail during her boss battle in Salem. The person is an absolute madlad (gn) for doing that, but it can still work. It's still making Asterios hard to kill, just spun into debuffing the enemies instead of buffing himself (although it wouldn't hurt if he got a really good skill upgrade).

That third skill though... yeah, I don't think I could give much a reason.

[haveihitanerve]

Four Times the Batkids Forget They're Adopted, and The One Time Damian Forgets He Isn't

It had started off as a joke, as most things do, and Dick meant nothing behind it, really. It was amusing to him, actually, to tell his coworkers things about Batman and pass it off as his father. “Oh my dad? Yeah hes not big on talking. He loves showing me he cares though.” (this was, of course, in reference to Batman doing three back flips and a kick split when Nightwing had patrolled with him the other day, a classic Nightwing move) But it soon…went deeper. Dick stopped making jokes out of it, and actually began listing things about Bruce. About his Dad. It didn't help that his police friends were actually interested. “So did you and the old man do anything fun over the weekend?” Dick thought back to how he had wanted to surprise Bruce by stopping by for dinner and instead had ended up in the sewer eating granola bars on a stakeout for killer croc, who had escaped. Again. “Oh yeah we had a picnic.” Dick nodded, smiling at Randy. “Yeah. He’s, he’s kinda bad at remembering when to eat a meal on time and all that.” Dick laughed. “Its something I share too. Must be genetics.” He rolled his eyes. Randy laughed, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “I hear you. My old man smoked all the live long day. I try to keep it down, but that addiction gene is just strong eh?” Dick chuckled. “Yeah I guess.” His phone buzzed in his pocket and he waved to Randy, turning to tug it out. It was one, simple message from Babs. “Ur adopted genius. What genes.” 

Jason didn't even know how they had gotten on the topic. But here they were. “Yes. I got my mothers hair, of course, but I get my temper from my father.” Artemis was saying. “I have parents.” Bizarro grunted. Roy laughed, smacking him on the shoulder. “Well you certainly didn't get Kal’s looks buddy. But you do have his killer hair.” Starfire laughed. “That is true. I, for one, share my parents hair and have my fathers powers. But truly the best gene I was given were my mothers eyes.” They all turned to Jason. “What about you?” Roy asked. Jason scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, I used to have my dads eyes but um after the pit y'know,” He waved to his now green eyes. “And actually I have my dads dark black hair, and he’s graying early too, which might be why my white streak is so prominent.” They nodded in agreement. “But yeah, hes actually a little taller than me so maybe I’ll still grow a few inches but uh yeah. I don't… remember my mother enough to talk about her.” “Dang man. I wish we could meet your dad.” Roy murmured, laying a comforting hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Then we could really compare. I mean-” He laughed. “You sound like his carbon copy.” Jason frowned at his friend. “What do you mean? You’ve met Bruce?” They stared at him. “Jason,” Artemis began slowly. “Aren't you adopted?” 

Tim hunched over the information form, eyes straining to read the small print. His hand reached up to stifle a yawn and he settled for a sigh instead. It was late, but Tim needed to get the form done before he went to bed, otherwise everything would be far too stressful in the morning. He reached over and grabbed his coffee mug, a dark black cup that had a red R painted on it poorly. Bruce had made it for him a few years ago when he had first become Red Robin. He sipped it, staring down at the medical form. “Gods I hate having to do this.” He muttered, but reluctantly grabbed the thick medical binder Alfred had obligingly gotten for him when he had asked for medical records of the family. Tim did not under any circumstances, want to have to sit at the doctors office the next day and somehow lie his way through all the medical questions relating to his family history. He didn't have the time nor patience for it, and it was crucial he was given proper medical advice what with his missing spleen. “Any history of heart issues Bruce?” Tim muttered, flipping back past Martha and Thomas to Bruce’s great great great grandfather. “Nope, guess not.” Tim was halfway through the form when he realized the blood coursing through his veins wasn't Bruce’s. 

Steph rubbed a hand across her belly, staring at the monitor. “Your baby looks good Ms. Brown. They’re at the proper stage. Due in about two months. We’ll see you back here for your next check up.” “thank you doctor.” Steph murmured, sliding off the bed and dressing quickly before hurrying out to her car. The car door slammed shut behind her and she breathed, pressing her forehead to the steering wheel. Her phone buzzed. She lifted it and pressed it to her ear, hitting accept. “Hello?” “hey Steph.” Bruce’s voice vibrated through the phone. “How was your doctors appointment?” Steph gave a bitter laugh. “Everything looks good. The baby will come in about two months.” “Thats good. Thats real good.” Steph nodded, eyes closed. “You doing okay Stephanie?” Bruce asked, voice soft. “I don't know.” her voice broke and she squeezed her eyes shut, fighting tears. “I just- I’m so scared Bruce. So scared.” Bruce hummed comfortingly through the phone. “I know Steph. Its scary. And parenting, its hard.” Steph coughed out a watery chuckle. “Was that a hit?” She muttered, rubbing a hand over her face. Bruce chuckled. “No. Baby it wasn't. And just think, you’ll get to see all the firsts I didn't get with you. Their first steps. Their first wave. You might even get to hear them say mama before i kidnap- i mean adopt him or her.” Steph laughed again, and it sounded less watery. “Yeah. Well, when do kids start walking?” She asked in interest, sniffing and sitting up straight again. Bruce hummed. “Well i started walking almost immediately, but Im special.” Steph laughed. “Of course.” “alfred said i first started talking when I was around thirteen months old, and Talia said Damian was walking by ten, but she could have been lying.” Steph nodded. “Tell me more.” She whispered. Bruce obliged, happy to distract her. “Oh and whats probably going to be your favorite, babies, or at least I did, start laughing at around four months.” “laughing?” Steph gasped. “Oh Brucie!!! Thats too funny! Little chubby baby you, the future batman, laughing!” She cooed. She could almost feel his eye roll through the phone and stifled her laugh. “So yeah..” Bruce finished. “You should expect your kiddo to start walking around then. And laughing probably sooner. I would have if you'd be in my life at that time.” Steph was quiet. “Thank you B.” He hummed. “Anytime Steph. I’ll always be here to help you.” “Wait wait wait-” a new voice joined in the background of Bruce. “Are you guys serious right now?” Steph identified it as Jason. “What?” Bruce asked puzzled. “B, Stephs adopted. Her kid is as likely to walk at the same time you did as when she did!” 

“Damian?” “Go away Drake.” Damian called back, riffling through the papers. “Dami?” Tim poked his head into his younger brothers room. “Oh hey kiddo. Whatcha doing?” “I am busy Timothy.” Damian countered in annoyance, shoving the box back under his bed and moving to his desk. “What are you looking for?” Tim asked puzzled. Damian ignored him. “Dami.” “Go away Timothy.” Tim crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe. “Come on Baby Bird. Tell me.” Damian shook his head, covering the blush on his cheeks by poking behind the desk. “Damian.” Tim’s hand was suddenly on his back. Damian jumped. Tim held up his hands in surrender. “Just tell me. I’m sure I can help you find it.” Damian sighed in acceptance, cheeks pink. “I have.. Lost my adoption papers.” He muttered, staring at the floor. But Tim didn't laugh or ridicule him. In fact, when he looked up, his brother seemed thoughtful. “Well i know me and dick and jason have them hung over our beds…” His gaze drifted to the very clearly empty space above Damians bed. “I know.” Damian jerked his head in a nod. “That is why I wished to find it.” Tim nodded in understanding. “Well, lets go look in the den. Thats where Alfred keeps all the legal stuff.” Damian trailed after his brother to the living room and watched as he opened the cabinet and pulled out three boxes. “You look through this one, I’ll search these two.” Tim ordered. Damian nodded, accepting the box. It was where Alfred found them, two hours later, broom in hand. “My dear sirs, what are you doing?” The butler asked in bafflement. “Looking for Damians adoption record.” Tim answered, nose still in some papers. Alfred looked at them. “Master Tim. Master Damian.” The two boys looked up. “Yes Alfred?” Tim asked. Alfred's face was fond and utterly confused. “Master Damian is not adopted. He is Master Bruce’s blood son.” 

@nonepizzawithleftglitter @zombiewithaflowercrown

you asked and you shall recieve!

[dcxdpdabbles]

Oh my god, you laid out freelance inventor perfectly for the justice league to mistake Danny for Batman, especially with John Jones already making his thoughts known that Bruce wayne would be the perfect himbo for Batman lol. Does the entire league pull together to make a beach day seem intentional and end up making so many mistaken assumptions along the way? Either way, I adore what you have going. I'm kinda curious if you had any thoughts on Damians' first reaction to meeting Danny? If not, that's okay. I just love the thought of Danny bonding with Damian in a feral way or through sparing like ghosts tend to in this fandom

The first time Danny meets Damian Wayne is when he comes to the Manor for a surprise visit. He usually would have called ahead or messaged Alfred, but it was a last-minute decision to stop by Gotham on his way to Metropolis.

Initially, Danny was going to a technology expo hosted by Lexcorp, but it was delayed due to a giant fight. A robot had flung Superman through the convention hall, causing severe damage.

Since he now had a weekend free while Lexcorp searched for a new venue, he figured he would spend it with his favorite one percent. Imagine his surprise when he noticed the first thing he noticed was that Bruce had a biological son, one he had told to stay hidden.

He had told his displaced son not to venture out of the manner because he didn't want the public to know about him. Danny hadn't felt this angry in a long, long time.

The glare he sent Bruce had the man flinching, causing Damian, fresh to the Manor and not used to seeing his Father as anything but commanding, to raise an impressed eyebrow. "Kids. Bed. Now. I want to talk to your Father."

"No." Bruce cowered. "Please stay, kids."

"Sorry Bruce, I actually have to touch up some photos for this month's photo op," Tim was quick to say, jumping from his seat.

"I also really need to get started on some paperwork for the gymnastic gym." Dick laughed nervously, dropping out of the handstand he was in. Danny never understood how the young man could randomly spring into flips and handstands.

Damian did not inch from his chair, though. He meets Danny's gaze with a cool upturn of his nose and crossed arms.

"You have no control over me or my actions, Harlot," Damian hissed, but a pale Dick and Tim pushed him out. Jason had been out on some far-off island trip with his friends- Roy, Kori, Artemis, and that delightful Bizzarro who spoke like it was an opposite day every day.

He was the only person to whom he would not talk to Damian. Everyone else would look Danny in the eye and justify why they would assume that a child should be treated as a secret was the correct thing to do.

"Well?" Danny asks when all Bruce does is sit there, hands on his lap and sweating. He narrows his eyes, crosses his arms, and watches the sweat drip down Bruce's head. "Explain yourself."

"Danny, I swear I wasn't aware of Damian. His mother told me she had a miscarriage. If I had known, I would have told you-" Bruce started but was cut off by Danny marching across the room and practically snaring into his face.

"That's not why you're in trouble, Bruce. Why are you treating a nine-year-old boy like a dirty secret?!"

"um..well, that's...you need to understand he's a bit unstable-"

"Choose your next words very carefully, Bruce." Danny cuts him off, recrossing his arms. Bruce swallows before he seems to gather unknown courage and straightens out his back.

"Danny, I don't think Damian needs to be a secret forever, but he needs to adjust before he can go out. He had a hard life with his birth mother and tends to lash out in violent outbursts. Just last week, he pushed Tim off the stairway!"

That's alarming. In fact, it isn't very good to think Tim would not be safe in the same household as Damian. They talk more about it, especially the part where Damian makes clear he wishes to replace Tim and would do nothing to remove him.

Damian is a threat to Tim's well-being. He mentions this to Bruce, who waves it way like a damn fool.

"Tim can handle it."

"Just because he can doesn't mean he should," Danny growls, throwing his arms into the air. "I can't talk to you right now. I can't even look at you."

"Danny, please-"

"Nope. I will tell Tim to stay with me, and I will make plans to take Damian out and about. If you treat someone like a criminal, they will act like one. I'm going to help that young boy settle here, but I will not do it at the expense of another. Don't call or message me." Danny growls, strutting out of the room only to practically run into Damian.

The boy raises his chin as if daring Danny to tell him off for eavesdropping. For one second, Danny is reminded of Jazz, back when she had been so insistent that she was an adult.

His eyes soften, and he knows Damian can see based on his surprise blink. "H kid have you had the chance to go into Gotham yet?"

"Why would I waste my time with the peasants? I am an elite warrior, destined to rule over them."

Huh. He reminds Danny a lot of Jazz now, with her anti-social tendencies- not that she refused to be around people, more like she refused to make friendships with people her age because she thought herself too mature for them- and a little of the battle-hungry ghosts in the Zone.

He can handle that.

"You are to be a general, right? Why are you acting like a common foot soldier?" He asks, watching the boy's entire demeanor freeze over. "A good ruler is not just combat strength. They can take command and can easily step among their fighters. How can you do that if you do not understand the common folk's way of thinking?"

Damian opened and closed his mouth before narrowing his eyes. "You mock me."

Danny shakes his head, falling to his knees so Damian won't need to strain his neck. He keeps the baby talk out of his voice but only barely. He gets the sense that like his sister, Damian would prefer to be treated like a mini adult. "Never. I'm genuinely interested in your thoughts, but you must know that all knowledge is power. Know thy enemy..."

"...as one knows thyself," Damian finishes his quote, looking vaguely intruded. He considers the offer before nodding. "I shall accompany you on your outing and gain valued observations of the average American child."

"Only after you apologize for attacking Tim and tell him to his face how you will not be doing that again," Danny warns, raising a finger at Damian's clouded face. "A good leader does not want insubordination. Attacking Tim did not prove anything but how unreliable you are and how much you fear Tim."

"I do not fear Drake!"

"Then why does his presence so threaten you? Bruce told me how out of all his kids, you seemed so sure you could take him in a fight but not a battle of wits."

Damian's eyes grow cold before he lashes out a hand. Danny catches it quickly, much to the boy's shock. He clicks his tongue, shaking his head. "Not bad, but not what a regular American child would behave. You would have been singled out as a spy the second you stepped in the street."

"....I shall work on my reaction and emotional regulation." Damian yanks his arm free, striding away but not before glancing back at Danny. "You are strange."

Danny smiles. "Thanks, kiddo."

The boy vanishes from sight, and Danny sighs. He must now find Tim and help him pack to stay with him. He also needs to yell at everyone in the Manor, including Alfred. Honestly, that man enables Bruce far too much.

[thepigeonhasapen]

Finding Them When They're Trapped: Olympian Edition (NSFWish)

(I promise I'm working on requests but the horny bug bit ok)

🩷Aphrodite🩷

"Oh, darling, I'm afraid something simply tragic has happened. One of my suitors has taken advantage of me and left me like this!"

"...In your own bedchamber?"

Aphrodite waves a hand. As well as she's able to with the short chain connecting it to the bedpost anyway. "Sweetheart, it's sex. We don't need to apply logic to it."

"...I see." You sit next to Aphrodite, admiring the way the restraints draw her body into long, smooth curves. She wriggles in her chains, a deliberate enticement. An enticement too is the way she's looking at you, lashes fluttering and eyes locked sweetly upon your own.

"As I was saying..."

"Yes, yes, a horrible man left you tied to a bed and now I'm here to take advantage of that fact?"

"You do catch on quick, my dear."

⚔️Ares⚔️

Ares does not think this is funny. Unfortunately for Ares it is objectively pretty funny.

He glares at you from the bed, squirming against his chains. "Stop laughing and let me loose."

"I can't believe Aphrodite just left you like this!" You giggle. "I'm pretty sure she just straight up forgot you were here actually."

You can tell Ares is positively fuming about the whole thing. The headboard creaks as he yanks at the cuffs, but all the furniture upon Olympus is far too durable to break that easily. He glares at you once more and then sighs.

"Will you please set me free? I have something I wish to discuss with our dear Aphrodite."

Aphrodite has been so kind as to leave your favorite god naked, and you take advantage of this by resting your hand on his groin. You don't miss the sharp intake of breath when your skin touches his own.

"But it would be such a shame to let you go when I already have you here like this."

"I... be that as it may, I-" Ares's pupils blow wide with lust as you swing onto the bed to straddle his lap.

"Aphrodite isn't going anywhere. And-" You laugh. "Neither are you apparently."

"I suppose... my evening might still be salvageable after all."

🏹Artemis🏹

How embarrassing... to get caught in one of her own traps. Artemis is never going to live this down if anyone finds out about it. Too late for her, though, you've already found out about it.

"It's not funny! I just forgot where I set it, okay? Now let me down so we can both forget this ever happened."

Perhaps Artemis might be more intimidating if she wasn't blushing so fiercely. Oh yeah, and hanging upside-down by her ankle from a tree branch. That too.

"So if you're the prey, what's hunting you then? A deer? A bunny?"

You didn't think it was possible but Artemis blushes even harder. "Yeah, yeah, just get me down."

"Deal... but in exchange for not telling anyone about this, you'll owe me."

If looks could kill, not only would you be dead, you'd have been vaporized from existence. You start to walk away. "Or I guess you could just wait for somebody else to come by... Hermes, maybe?"

It doesn't take long for Artemis to break. "Okay, okay, deal! Now cut me loose before somebody sees."

As you're helping her down, Artemis shoots you another dirty look. "You’re just lucky I've got a soft spot for you."

🦉Athena🦉

One of the last places you expect to find Athena is stuck in a hole in the ground, but here you are. She looks up at you, visibly relieved to catch sight of you.

"Hail, Y/N. It would seem the Lady Artemis is leaving her pit traps strewn about the grounds. Again. I really must have a word with her about it. But first I require your assistance."

"Oh yeah? I hope you're not expecting me to carry you out of that hole." Look, Athena's like twice your size. You love her but it's just not gonna happen.

"No, nothing of the sort. If you could run to Hephaestus's workshop and fetch a ladder..."

You sit down at the edge of the hole, elbows resting on your knees. "I might do that. But to be honest, it's kinda hot seeing you be bested every once in a while."

"I was not bested. This was no battle of wills. This was my foolish half-sister being careless once again."

"Still... you being trapped is kinda doing it for me."

Athena sighs. "If you fetch me a ladder, I swear I will let you tie me up to your heart's content. Do we have an arrangement?"

"Done."

And you can't wait to take her up on that.

❄️Demeter❄️

"I'm going to kill that wretched foster brother of mine. We'll see if he can still throw his precious lightning bolts when he's encased in ice."

You've stumbled across Demeter cuffed to the railing of her balcony. You don't quite know what happened, but Zeus had something to do with it from the sounds of it.

"He told me I ought to get more sun! That it would be good for me! Put a smile on my face! Pah, as if there's anything to smile about upon this blasted mountain."

"Ahem," you say.

Demeter softens. "Ah... my apologies. Of course you give me cause to smile quite often."

"Would it make you smile if you said you looked cute in those cuffs?"

Demeter doesn't look in the slightest bit amused. "It most decidedly would not."

"Ah."

🍇Dionysus🍇

Dionysus had asked you to meet you in his vineyard but how strange, he doesn't seem to be here. Well, since you're here, you may as well look around. As you wander deeper through the plants, you hear rustling and the sounds of someone struggling.

He looks almost sheepish when you find him, half-buried in foliage with rogue vines twined around his limbs.

"Hey, so uh... there may have been a little... incident. Would you mind maybe lending a hand?"

"Don’t you have control over grapevines?"

"...These are special grapevines, yeah?"

And how kind of the vines to splay him out so beautifully. And to let him take off his cape first. And that all of his usual retinue is conveniently absent.

Dionysus shivers when you run a hand down his muscled chest. "And how exactly am I meant to help you if even a god as powerful as you can't set yourself free?" You stop just above where you're certain he wants you to touch him. "Shall I fetch someone to help?"

Dionysus whines when you remove your hand. "You’re such a damn tease, man! Just have your way with me already."

"I'm a tease? I'm not the one who's tied myself up in hopes of being ravaged."

"If you want we can switch places." Dionysus offers playfully.

"Hmm. Maybe later." You think you're gonna pass this up? Not a chance.

🪽Hermes🪽

You didn't expect to find the Messenger of the Gods tangled in a bunch of vines, but to be perfectly fair you're pretty sure he didn't intend for you to find him like that either.

"Oh, hi there, boss. I seem to have encountered a spot of trouble here but don't you worry, I'll be out in a jiffy."

He squirms, trying to free himself, but he's really just making the problem worse. Something he soon figures out when he sighs and looks helplessly at you.

"Don’t suppose you'd care to lend a hand?"

"Haha, oh alright," you manage through your giggles. "Hold on just a moment."

"Kinda can't do anything else," he points out.

You wade into the bushes, reaching for the vines that ensnare his wrist. Unfortunately, there's a bit more of them than you bargained for. One catches on your foot and you go tumbling forward, knocking both you and Hermes to the ground.

"Shit, sorry!"

But Hermes doesn't look as bothered as you thought he would. It's probably because your hand has landed squarely on his groin. You hadn't quite been sure if he was blushing before, but now he most certainly is.

He's not quite looking at you as he says, "You know it would really be a shame for you to let an opportunity like this go to waste, you know."

...He makes a valid point.

🔱Poseidon🔱

"Damn that blasted nephew of mine! I swear when I catch him, I'll- oh hello, dear! Would you mind helping your favorite sea god out of the predicament he's found himself in?"

You laugh. You can't help it; Poseidon looks absolutely ridiculous looking at you upside-down from the floor. Somehow he's ended up wrapped head to toe in chains, his arms pinned behind his back and his legs bound firmly together.

"What happened here?"

"That good for nothing nephew of mine, Hephaestus swore to me that he'd created chains so powerful that nothing could break them! I, of course, had to put such notions to rest. Nothing can overpower the might of the sea! Anyway, I uh..."

"So you let Hephaestus do this to you?"

You've never seen Poseidon look quite so flustered. "I, er... well, we don't need to linger on the past. Why don't you set me free and we can both go out to a nice dinner?"

"Not a chance, sea god." You drop to the floor beside him, greedily taking advantage of a sight you so rarely get to see. The might of Poseidon, bound. And looking quite handsome in his chains if you do say so yourself. "I think I've got a better idea than dinner."

It doesn't take Poseidon but a moment to catch your drift. "Ha! You best take advantage of the moment then because I don't imagine it'll be happening again."

Maybe. Or maybe Hephaestus will let you borrow these chains from time to time...

⚡️Zeus⚡️

It's funny... this situation that you've found Zeus in almost seems... familiar.

"Curses! Damnit... that blasted, darn Hephaestus... and my foul brother. I shall have both their heads for this, I swear..."

"Whatcha doin'?"

You've never seen the King of the Gods blush before. And certainly not so fiercely. "I um... well, I've run into a spot of bother. And it is entirely the fault of that wretched brother of mine. He insisted that these chains were unbreakable. Naturally, I had to show him the error of his ways. None can stand against the power of the heavens!"

Well, apparently being a cocky, arrogant idiot runs in the family. You drop to a crouch beside him, unable to keep the amused grin off your face. "And how's that working out for you?"

"Yes, yes," he huffs, "I can have a sense of humor like any other. You've all had your laugh. Now let me loose."

You reach down and squeeze between his legs, just enough that Zeus's eyes start to go hazy. He won't get mad at you for the imposition; he thinks far too much with his cock for that. "Oh, but I never get to top."

Zeus looks as if he's already having trouble formulating words. "Well... maybe just this once..."

Once? Not if you can help it.

[alfredda-butt-ler]

someone tell me why DC hasn't made my boys canon yet >:(

also ignore spelling and grammar mistakes, I can't type.

like I don't know who they're trying to convince with this Artemis or rose shit, but these are a pair of homosexuals. Like I could start off with just joking around about the fact that they share a bank account or the way they dance around flirting but honestly I think that it goes way deeper then that.

Because why would two grown, straight, single men share a bank account. No need to answer that, it didn't happen, because they aren't straight or single.

It makes me giggle thinking about Jason being all mad about this because of the money when he mentions that he doesn't even care about the money as long as he is with roy.

LIKE OMG HE LOVES HIS BOYFRIEND SO MUCH HE'LL GO AND CHANGE HIS ENTIRE LIFE TRAJECTORY TO BE WITH HIM. I love my best friend, but freelance vigilantes is a lot to ask for, especially when I'm only going to join just to be with you all the time. But this guy did it for Roy because they're "good friends".

HE'S CANONICALLY DATED/HAD FLINGS WITH PEOPLE AND ROY HAS MANAGED TO BEAT ALL OF THEM.

I don't have the photo of when Roy firsts calls him jaybird but that one is also a really cute moment but, "that's my jaybird"!!!!! I'm hollering, the possessiveness has me jealous about them.

This is one go my favorite panels with them because it starts out with such a heart to heart and tender moment then turns into the most bromance thing ever. Also the "you two really need to get a room" OMFG they've upgraded from boyfriends to husbands in my mind.

I will leave this here, speaks for itself.

The other photos I have aren't saved to my computer so that is all I have to get today but thank you for listening to my ending rant into the open space of Tumblr.

[rosabell14]

The hunters of Artemis, Reyna, and Asexuality in Riordan's writing

I kinda started thinking about this since Reyna became a hunter. I could never articulate why I hated this Choice. I was asexual after all. Shouldn't I be happy about this rep? We Ace people barely get any after all. Then I realized that it's because I just didn't like the hunters as ace representation. And I didn't need to be grateful for mediocrity.

You want to know why the hunters of Artemis suck in general? And as Ace rep specifically? Because Riordan did not write them with that mindset.

Like people are so busy hailing this man as the king of representation in literature(blegh) that they forgot how heteronormative and white(sometimes racist) the original series was. Y'all really think this man was thinking about writing asexuals in the year 2007? Get real. What Riordan was doing was a white man trying to write feminism and failing (there's a reason most of his female characterization of female characters boils down to tough "not like other girls" characters who are dicks to the boys around them yet also to the girls around them if they're jealous)

Now onto the hunters.

The hunters when first presented in TTC are not a group of asexuals but rather religious celibates. Fantasy Pegan nuns if you may. The first problem arises when their ages are brought up.

"Then the archers came from the woods. They were girls, about a dozen of them. The youngest was maybe ten. The oldest, about fourteen..."

Remember, before ToA gave us Emmie and Jo, the hunters WERE all young girls. Now why in the world are they so young? Especially when in the actual myths, the hunters could come from any age whatsoever? Well the reason is a doozy.

"Are you surprised by my age?" she asked.

"Uh… a little."

"I could appear as a grown woman, or a blazing fire, or anything else I want, but this is what I prefer. This is the average age of my Hunters, and all young maidens for whom I am patron, before they go astray."

"Go astray?" I asked.

"Grow up. Become smitten with boys. Become silly, preoccupied, insecure. Forget themselves."

Hooo boy. What a way to phrase it. Going astray. Losing themselves. This kinda confirms that the reason why Artemis goes after young girls specifically is because she only wants girls who have yet to finish puberty. Girls have yet to discover their own sexuality. Now I'm not a representative of Asexuals everywhere, but I'm pretty sure most of us don't discover our sexuality at the age of ten. Let alone have the maturity to decide to become celibates about it. And let me reiterate: celibacy is not sexuality. Sure asexual people CAN choose to be celibates but it's not the same thing at all. In fact Zoe and Thalia are big cases for this. Both of them had liked men before(herakles and luke) but joined for their own reasons. Thalia to escape the prophecy and Zoe out of heartbreak. Hell, Bianca herself is mostly swayed by the idea of having no responsibility and a new family.

Now Rick does another thing that goes against the myths. The exclusion of make hunters. Artemis frequently hung around or taught male hunters who respected her. Daphnis, Scamandrius, freaking Hippolytus whom Artemis greatly cared about. Oh but we need to come up with bullshit reasons why Nico can't just join the hunt with his sisters so the hunters of Artemis are all: Ewww men. Also note how at no point does Riordan mention people who fall in love with women.

Now the next point is the oath itself. Artemis says this:

"What oath?" I said.

"To forswear romantic love forever," Artemis said. "To never grow up, never get married. To be a maiden eternally."

When I tell you that Emmy and Joe were retcons . Rick was freaking INSISTENT on the hunters being kids. Also note the three points: to never fall in love, to never get married, to stay a maiden.

I mean I think I don't need to explain why obsessing over the virginity of young girls is creepy. Does Riordan think girls older than fourteen can't keep it in their pants? And let me be adamant here Riordan only cares about the virginity Clause here. He mentions falling in love and marriage because he sees them inherently intertwined with sex.

Now onto the wording of the oath itself:

'I pledge myself to the goddess Artemis. I turn my back on the company of men, accept eternal maidenhood, and join the Hunt.'

I mean you might be able to interpret men here as mankind and therefore excluding women as well. But I have many reasons to believe that Riordan didn't even CONSIDER women as a possibility(someone inform this man that lesbians existed smh 😞). Also note that falling in love is not mentioned in the actual oath but maidenhood is.

Now onto the next big issue. Percy Jackson's Greek gods and its chapter on Artemis. It basically confirms all of my problems.

"IT’S NOT THAT ARTEMIS HATED ALL MEN, just most of them. From the moment she was born, she knew one critical fact: Guys are kinda gross."

No mention of girls. In this chapter Percy(Rick) brings up Artemis' disdain for dudes over and over again.

“Let me be a maiden forever, Father,” Artemis said, twirling her finger in Zeus’s beard. “I never want to get married.---- But you can grant me a bunch of followers: ocean nymphs, river nymphs, wood nymphs—what the heck, how about mortal girls, too? Any girls who want to join me can become my followers, as long as they remain maidens like me. They should probably make the decision when they’re about nine years old, before they get interested in boys, because after that, they’ll be all distracted and of no use to me.”

Yikes yikes yikes. Ladies and gentlemen the age has been lowered to 9. Freaking 9. Also I guess girls older than that don't need Artemis' protection then? (the real problem is that older/married girls should be out of Artemis's jurisdiction and under the protection of other gods like Hera, Hestia, and Ares. But Hestia is barely there. Hera is terrible and the Amazons also suck)

Now when I tell you that Artemis' big point was about virginity, I mean it. This actually has mythological evidence.

The myths actually DO mention what happens when female hunters fall in love. Rhodopis and Euthynicus were two hunters who offended Aphrodite by choosing a chaste life so she had Eros make them fall in love. However note that they weren't booted out of the hunters for falling in love, but rather after having sex in a cave. THAT was what Artemis took offense to.

Another myth is the story of Aura. A huntress who offended Artemis by comparing their breasts(Greek mythology am I right?). Saying that her breast were better than Artemis' because they were smaller and hey maybe that means that Artemis isn't actually a maiden. Artemis punishes her by making her lose her VIRGINITY. She goes to nemesis for revenge. Nemesis goes to Eros who makes Dionysus fall in love with Aura and when Aura refuses his advances he ties her up and... Yeah you can guess where I'm going with this.

But hey! Those myths aren't in the Greek gods book. You know which myth is? The myth of C(K)allisto. And this one angers me so much I want to chew on the drywall.

The way Riordan writes it. Zeus turns himself into Artemis, brings Kallisto's guards down with the disguise, gets close to her and then when Kallisto REJECTS Artemis' supposed advances, forces himself on her. I need to say this again. Kallisto does not fall in love, she isn't seduced, she does not break her oath. But we still need a reason for her to be yeeted out of the hunters so her lack of maidenhood it is

“You were my favorite,” Artemis said. “If you had come to me immediately, I could have helped you. I would have found you a rich, handsome husband and let you settle into a new life in the city of your choice. I would have allowed you to retire from the Hunt with honor. You could have gone in peace. Zeus’s assault was not your fault.”

Kallisto sobbed. “But I didn’t want to lose you! I wanted to stay!”

Artemis felt like her heart was breaking, but she couldn’t show it. She had rules about her followers. She couldn’t allow those rules to be broken, not even by her best friend. “Kallisto, your crime was keeping the secret from me. You dishonored me, and your sisters of the Hunt, by not being honest. You defiled our company of maidens when you were not a maiden yourself. That I cannot forgive.”

I want to slap this man so hard he flies to the opposite side of the universe. We are not here to blame victims of assault guys! Except we are! But with extra steps. If you get attacked, it's not your fault, but If you are too scared to admit the truth then you deserve to lose your only safe space and turn into a bear. Oh nooooo Kallisto DEFILED Artemis' company by being an icky non virgin. The moment you lose your virginity even if it's not your fault you get punished. But not because I'm gross but because YOU lied. How terrible! And he expects us to feel for ARTEMIS???

But rosabell! This is how things go in the myths. What was uncle Rick (bleghhhh) supposed to do? I don't know... Choose a different version of the story? There are versions were Zeus/Hera are the ones who transform Kallisto into a bear. There are versions where Kallisto actively CHOOSES to sleep with Artemis. Granted it's still assault because she's being lied to but at least then, she'd have a degree of autonomy in the events. At least Artemis could rightfully accuse her of breaking her oath. But noooo, Riordan doesn't know lesbians exist. He actively makes Zeus into a canonical Ra*ist. Why is he on the throne again?

(the fact that this book came out AFTER HoH y'all 😭)

Once again, Riordan sees maidenhood(virginity)/love/marriage as intertwined. This is NOT what being on the aroace spectrum means. You can fall in love but not have sex. You can have sex but not fall in love. You can have sex AND still be an asexual. You can be married and still be a "maiden". Riordan doesn't get to claim to be such a progressive ally for retconning the hunters in 2017, TEN years after he first introduced the hunters because he suddenly remembered that lesbians exist.

Or more like because he doesn't know what to do with his female characters. The hunters more than anything are Riordan's heroine dumping ground. If you don't want it put them in relationships, either kill them(Bianca whose main purpose is to die) or make them eternal virgins(the hunters, Rachel). The fact that some people genuinely think that Calypso should have joined the hunters astound me. Girl suffered for years because of the gods and you all think that the best thing outside of Leo for her(not that I like Caleo) is to become a servant to the gods? Because you can't perceive a female character doing anything else if she's not in a relationship. Like with Thalia, this at least made sense on a strategic level because she didn't want to reach sixteen. Oh but we also don't know what else to do with her so she needs to want to be a hunter after the war is over so we give her a half-assed argument with Luke and now she can be all: wah wah Zoe you were totally right about boys. And the cherry on the cake is that she doesn't even get to be in the final confrontation with Luke or say goodbye to him because of a freaking STATUE. And after pjo her personality becomes Zoe 2.0 and her and Jason get ONE measly meeting.

When I first spoke of not liking Renya joining the hunters this is what I mean. Riordan had so many options with Reyna. Why did she have to leave her esteemed position which she worked so hard for? Two boys rejected her? Why couldn't she go reconnect with her sister more then? She could have joined the Amazons. But nooo Riordan was so allergic to the fans asking him wether she could be Bi or a lesbian. For the stupidest reasons too? Oh Reyna being a lesbian would come off as stereotypical because she got rejected by two guys beforehand! My dude, do you think people don't say the same thing about us who are on the aroace spectrum? That we say we are aro/ace because we got rejected before? Come up with a better excuse next time.

My brother in Christ couldn't even allow Reyna to talk about her sexuality and whatnot. It couldn't even be fully about her. No. He had to turn Reyna into his own mouthpiece admonishing the EVILLLL fans who may have shipped Thalia and Renya. He literally had her say the word "shipping". How cringe can you get? And then he had the audacity to admonish the fans by saying: Why does a strong friendship always have to progress to romance?

It's a sentiment I agree with but coming from this man, it's extremely hypocritical? I don't know Richard maybe because YOU are obsessed with shipping? No character can escape your shipping hands unless they're eternal virgins or dead. You literally turned the Argo2 into Noah's ark2. So much attention focused on shipping that the seven barely felt like friends.

Why does Reyna need to join the hunters? She can choose to not relationship without having to become a servant to female Peter pan.

This is actually a really adequate metaphor when you consider that Emmie and Jo say that they have not met Artemis in YEARS and Apollo mentions that the two of them were lucky she let them LIVE. god can you imagine joining Artemis when you are 9? At an age when you have still not finished maturimg cognitively and therefore shouldn't be trusted on taking a freaking celibacy vow(were you even given the talk yet that age) and after 70 years you decide you want to leave? If you're lucky Artemis will part with you on good terms but SIKES every person you probably knew before joining is now dead. Where is THAT angsty Bianca fic?

Speaking of Bianca. How she was handled also angers me. In another post, I've already talked about how the hunters barely gave her adequate information before letting her join.

How Zoe was the main reason for her death. Zoe KNEW that at least 2 people might die in the quest she was given and yet she decided to bring the least experienced girl to the quest and couldn't even watch her properly.

But you know what else pisses me off? The fact that THEY should have been the one to tell Nico about his sister's death. I've always hated how Chiron made Percy the CHILD tell Nico the other CHILD about his sister dying. But more than anyone, it should have been the hunters' responsibility. Bianca was THEIR responsibility. She died in a quest to save Artemis. The least they could do was tell her remaining family of her fate. The Doylist reason of course is that we need to kickstart Nico and Percy's complicated relationship and have Percy discover that Nico is a son of Hades. But in universe, the fact that they immediately fuck off from the camp upon regrouping makes them come off as extremely selfish. We don't even know if Bianca was given a funeral by them or not. We see Artemis being upset about Zoe but we never see her react to the news of losing Bianca.

[ggidolsmuts]

What Would Zeus Do (WWZD) - ARTMS

A/N: So I wrote this on a whim, kinda wanted to do another Stud(y)ing story for the start of the year, just so you know what to expect. I couldn't help but keep thinking about the whole Artemis and Zeus thing, it fit too well, and WWZD is too funny in my head. The Seasons Greetings images coming out was very fortunate timing, It also fits in the I Never Die, I Only Breed theme, consider this as "DLC" for that game.

You wake up in a room—there is a door, there is a mirror, you're in the bed. Wait, you finished the game, didn't you? You wake up and go to the mirror, only to see the words "NEW DLC" pop up. Best of all, it's free! You accept the DLC and it loads immediately, and everything changes.

You're in a room, except there is no floor, no walls, only clouds all around you. You can walk on air? You look around, only to see a much more gaudy and decadent bed, not unlike Minnie's throne bed from before, and a bejeweled mirror, encrusted with diamonds and sapphires and emeralds. It even has a name—Erised. On intuition you stand in front of the mirror, and golden words float to the surface.

Thank you for playing the game, and as our thanks, please enjoy this sandbox DLC. You play as Zeus, everything is in your godly power. Go forth and procreate!

There is a list of names, but not any of the common names you recognize in Greek mythology. It just says:

*Joseon Goddesses*

Jinsoul

Haseul

Kim Lip

Heejin

Choerry

Some odd names to be sure, you were expecting something closer to Hera or Aphrodite, but Zeus doesn't discriminate, and neither will you. You tap on the first name, and the Mirror of Erised becomes a door. You step through to find the first goddess.

"Hello, you must be Zeus?"

"Yes, you are Jinsoul?"

"Yes, shall we?" She unclasps her dress, and it falls off her body, revealing her divine figure.

"Yes, we shall." She removes your toga, and your chiseled body presses against her suppleness. You lean in and suckle on her bosom, and she cups herself, offering more of her teat to you. You tilt her backwards, and as you do clouds form behind Jinsoul, cushioning the tilt. You split her open, and the gorgeous goddess gasps and grinds, a leg hooked around your hip.

"Yes, lord yes!" Her black hair splayed against the clouds, you take her repeatedly, bringing her to climax as she shuts her eyes tightly. She walls grip you even tighter, and with a grunt you unload inside of her. You pull out, still hard of course, but you assume your job is done until she sighs and half puts on her dress again.

"That's it? I didn't know Zeus was wont to leave a lady unbred."

"What? Of course not, you will be with child."

"Oh no, I know my own body the best. And I'm only fertile, godfucked or not, when it's raining." Your seed still no doubt trailing down her thighs Jinsoul walks towards you, expectant, expecting to be expecting soon.

"You were waiting to tell me that weren't you? So you could have more than one round with me?"

"What's the harm in that, we both know how this ends." The edge of her lip curls up as you summon some heavier clouds.

"What would you prefer, a summer shower, a gloomy thunderstorm, or a misty monsoon?"

"I think a summer shower would be nice." With a wave of your hand the sun comes back into view, an appropriate amount of rainfall splattering both of you. The dress starts to cling to her, seeming to enhance her curves even more, arguably even more enticing than seeing her naked. Her nipples seem to stiffen as her dress gets more and more translucent. You grab the top of her dress and pull, ripping and peeling the front off like wet paper. She might have been outraged at the dress' distruction, but you don't give her a chance to complain.

"Shall we?" Jinsoul merely has time to nod as you thrust yourself into her once more. She is much more expressive and sensitive to your movements this time, her walls velvet and creamy, primed for fertility. Jinsoul sings in the rain, moaning melodically and huskily while you drive yourself ever deeper. Shreds of her dress start falling off, and Jinsoul gradually loses the shreds of coherence she had left.

"Oh yes! That's it, give it to me, I'm yours, I'm yours!" Every pump of your hips pushes Jinsoul to a tingling, toe-curling, throat-wrenching orgasm, the rainfall acting as an aphrodisiac for her. The cloud she's lying on has reclined, and now you're pounding her from above, like mere mortals mating. But the two of you are gods and goddesses, and each clash of your hips is as loud as a thunderclap, and every orgasm she reaches as thrilling and electric as lightning. The two of you go from singing to fucking to breeding in the rain. Every time Jinsoul peaks her walls grasps you heavenly, a soft velvet tug on your shaft—you respond in kind, with a warm surge of seed. Despite the warm shower overhead, your coupling is more akin to a hurricane—wild, wet, and destructive. With limitless stamina and inhuman abundance, you pump her with a womb's worth of cum every thrust, but with the high speed of fucking, with the rapid push and pull of your hips, all it does is leave your connection a complete mess of cum and juice, pooling between her legs, smearing it all over her now-creamy thighs.

"Bred?" Jinsoul can only nod, breathless, vocal cords rough and strained, the skin around her hips now pink and red from your fucking. By the time you pull out, there is more of your cum outside of her than inside, yet not once did you finish outside of her heaven-sent chambers. She barely notices you pulling out, that's how full she is with your seed. Thick white fluid continues to spill from between her lips, it is a wonder how she could hold that much, or how you could put that much into her.

"I will be with your child now, so you'll be my consort right?"

"You know that's not how Zeus works."

"Really? Aww, not even for your goddess Jinsoulie?" You wince at the sudden cuteness, not used to goddesses behaving like that, but you agree.

"Fine, I will be back."

You go down the list, stepping immediately into Haseul's domain.

"Hello Haseul." The goddess that greets you is more dimunitive in size, but curvier, her hips ripe for childbearing.

"Hello." She agrees with your silent assessment, removing her tight dress and moving towards you. "May I taste?" This time it is your turn to be taken at speed as her mouth engulfs your length, perfectly sized to hit the back of her throat.

"Mmm Jinsoul, delicious." Haseul murmurs, guiding you to a seated position before diving back in.

"You know the taste of another goddess?"

"We make do when someone such as yourself is not available."

"That is something I should, nngh, be sure to remedy," you groan as she licks all along your shaft, replacing Jinsoul's slick with her saliva. She uses her hands to stroke you, yet you do not give her what she wants.

"Will you not give me your seed?"

"It is not meant to travel this path."

"Yet I wish to go the path untraveled."

"It will require more work."

"I understand," Haseul pushes her breasts together, and with her soft globes around your cock and a warm mouth around your head, you allow yourself to be milked, fucking her tits and mouth simultaneously.

"Does this— Ah! Please you?" You catch her by surprise as she briefly stops to ask a question, and you splatter her face with a load.

"Now it does." Haseul smiles and gets back to work, and just as with Jinsoul, you allow yourself to cum freely, slowly filling her tummy with an unstopping stream of seed—milk from the work of her breasts. When she is finished getting a fill of you, Haseul has a cumbaby in her tummy, and she is ready and eager for a real baby.

"I am ready."

"Good, I am still ready." Haseul gets up and straddles you, and with a loud moan she sinks on your cock, only to stop two-thirds of the way in—how did she manage to fit you in her mouth?

"Y-You are huge!" she whines, trying, and failing to fit more of you into her.

"Your lower mouth is not as practiced as your upper one, I will help you." You grab Haseul by the waist and start moving her up and down your cock. She bites her lower lip and hisses in discomforting pleasure as you manipulate her on your shaft, and with a few kisses and some slower fucking, she relaxes and begins to enjoy the sheer stretch of her body around you. "There you go, feel good?"

"Yeah, yes, much better."

"It'll feel even better when you open up. Now cum for me Haseul." With your firm finger on her clit she cums willingly, and through the process of her walls undulating around you, you're able to push just that little deeper into her. And then you ask her to cum again, and again she does—each time she does so you get deeper into her, and each orgasm in turn becomes even stronger than the last, her pussy clenching around more and more of your cock.

"It keeps feeling even better! Ah! It feels amazing, like—oh my god, something's coming, something's coming!" Haseul squirms on top of you, the feeling in her abdomen growing to the boiling—no, exploding—point.

"Just let go." With one arm wrapped around her slim midriff you pull her down sharply, and with the other you apply a little pressure on her clit. Haseul jerks, screams, and then gushes all over your cock. Her slick splashes up your body, and mid-orgasm you're able to draw Haseul even further down on you, your head nudging the entrance to her womb. You watch her eyes roll, and her head lolls back as she succumbs to a double orgasm, spraying your stomach with even more juice and creaming over your shaft. She goes limp almost falling off your shaft, and you have to support her, holding her close as she shudders and comes back from her higher plane of pleasure.

"Y-You didn't, you haven't?" Haseul gasps, unable to piece together a coherent sentence quite yet.

"Not yet, I wanted to make sure you feel it." When you feel her fingers grip the back of your neck more firmly you begin pulling her up and down your cock, making Haseul the Goddess of Cocksleeves as you sheath yourself fully inside her each time. "You feel that?" you ask, grinding your head against her cervix and making her whine at the friction. "That feeling means you've taken me fully."

"It's hitting me really deep, it feels so different, but good?"

"I'm glad it does, we should celebrate your accomplishment." Haseul crosses her feet behind your back, and together the two of you saw her tight body up and down your shaft. Tugging on your neck, Haseul leans back, tensing her core, giving both of you a perfect view of her body rocking back and forth. "Look down, you look beautiful like this."

Haseul opens her eyes dreamily (When did she even close them? She no longer remembers and it doesn't matter), and what she sees almost drives her to an orgasm immediately—there's a visible imprint between her legs, changing in size as you continue to bring her down on you. She can see exactly where her pussy ends, the round end of your shaft bulging deep inside her, followed by that tingling sensation that makes her gasp and moan. Seeing herself get fucked in such a visceral fashion spikes her arousal, and she tightens around you.

"Finish in me!" Haseul pleads, her eyes trained at your connection, watching herself get literally stretched each time you shove yourself in her. "I want to see you cum, I want to watch you breed me!" She watches her mound bulge once more, and this time it doesn't go away as you hold her down and explode. Haseul watches herself get bred for a brief second, before the warm explosion inside makes her eyes roll into her head again. She whimpers and tightens around you in her own orgasm, and the two of you ride out your peaks as she accepts all of your load into her fertile body.

When she opens her eyes again the bulge has disappeared, a sense of emptiness between her legs as you gently pull her off you. It would become a hunger newly awakened, and Haseul is at your side even as you seek to move on.

"You'll be back, yes?"

"Of course. I would just like to meet the other goddesses first."

"Kim Lip?"

"Yes, that is me." A pale-skinned goddess awaits you, her hair similarly light-colored, unlike the goddesses before her. Yet it seems to shimmer, almost fluid in nature. She seemed delicate, yet as you wrapped an arm around her, playing with the strap of her dress, you could feel the strength and steel within her.

"May I have you?" you ask. She was a goddess to be charmed, not taken.

"Oh? You're not going to grab me and bounce me all over your lap, like you did with Haseul?"

"Only if you want me to."

"I do not."

"So I figured," you murmur into her ear, hoping to get her a little hot and bothered. "I ask again, may I have you?"

"Maybe, but now's not a good time of the month for me."

"Oh, are you on your—" Kim Lip tisks you and pushes your head with a finger.

"No silly, I'm a goddess, not mortal. Jinsoul is one of my sisters, we can be a bit... odd."

"Odd?"

"Yes. Her desires and fertility spike only when it rains. I am not dissimilar."

"I made it rain for her, I can command whatever weather you wish."

"Ah, I am not that straightforward. My desires wax and wane, much like the moon, so come back and ask me that when the moon phases are most favorable."

"You will have me move the moon and the stars for you?" Kim Lip laughs airily, the childish giggle almost ill-fitting her beauty.

"Oh I doubt you capable of that, I will have you wait for the stars to align."

"I am impatient." You raise a hand to the heavens, and with some focus, you alter the orbit of the moon. It has a tangible effect on Kim Lip, a light pink hue spreading across her face. Her hair turns even lighter, as if reflecting the brightness of the moon.

"W-What did you do?" she stammers, feeling the heat go through her body as the full moon bares itself in the night sky.

"I am impatient and I am capable, so I have moved the moon and the stars for you." You push the straps off her shoulders, and Kim Lip doesn't resist you as the dress slips to her waist. The flush spreads to the rest of her chest, tipped pink on her breasts. "I wish to have you."

"You are reckless, moving the moon like that will have consequences! The tides, they will shift, the mortals—"

"I care not for mortals, I want you." You capture her lips in a kiss, one that's not urgent, but just fervent enough to leave her wanting. Your hands explore her body, touching what you could of her. She grabs your arm, but doesn't stop you, merely holding you within reach.

"Make it a new moon, and you will have me."

"So be it." You raise a hand to the moon once more, and you watch it pass through the phases quickly before going dark, invisble in the night sky. When you look down at Kim Lip again, her hair has turned jet black, and her eyes are dark with need. The pink flush on her pale complexion has turned a darker crimson, and her lips are ruby red—this time she leans towards you, capturing your lips in her kiss.

"I'm yours."

You rip her dress off, and immediately she has a leg hooked around your hip. Her slick comes in waves as you rub your shaft againt her core, teasing her just that little bit more. You want Kim Lip to want it, and you are delighted when she reaches down between your bodies, pushing your shaft to oh-so-satisfyingly enter her on the next rock of your hips. You pause briefly as her eyes screw shut, but they quickly open again, her pupils dark as the new moon.

"Keep going, don't stop." You fuck her thoroughly—a needy Kim Lip is an ambitious lover, and her positions shift just as the tides do. One moment you are humping into her with short thrusts, the next she has you on your back, bouncing on your lap as she desires, your hands merely holding her thighs for support. Then she has you top her, her leg on your shoulder as you make her do a split, even as you split her open. Just as with Jinsoul you are cumming freely with Kim Lip, the two of you extracting pleasure from one another, her body readily accepting your load, only to have it spill out of her with a change in position.

"Am I fit to bear your offspring?" she asks, almost challenging you as you pound down into her.

"That was never in question." 

"Then take me under an eclipse, when the light and dark intermix, just as we do now, that will be most desirable." 

"You ask a lot of me," you grunt as Kim Lip pushes herself into a sitting position, staring down at you like the moon shines over Earth. 

"And I'll give a lot more to you." Looking past her at the moon, you try to ignore her wet sheath around you as you move sun and moon for her, and for a moment the galaxy revolves around Earth as you align everything for her. Kim Lip looks up at the resulting eclipse, and when she turns to look at you again she is glowing, her hair now a dark brown, mixed with streaks of light.

"It is beautiful, thank you."

"No more than you are."

"I want to see it as we continue." Kim Lip gets off you, going on all fours. Her intent clear, you take her from behind, pulling on her long hair so that her head tilts to the heavens. "Yes, just like that! Keep going like that!" Waves of force ripple from her thighs as you slam your hips into hers—no doubt you have wrecked the world with your callous movement of the universe, but all you care about right now is wrecking Kim Lip's world. Her body twitches as she cums, and the eclipse goes blurry when the pleasure becomes too great, when a small supernova bursts forth in her womb, breeding new life inside of her.

"You may also look at it like this." You release her hair and grab her arms, using them as reins as you continue to pound her from behind, leaving another splatter of seed in her.

"I am sore," she gasps, so you accomodate her wishes and lie on your back, pulling her on top of you. You thrust up into her from below, her breasts rocking in the eclipse's moonlight and her thighs glistening from the same light source. It is a lewd position, but just as the werewolf turns beastial under the moon, Kim Lip's cries become more ungodly beneath the celestial phenonmenon. She turns away from the eclipse to find her new obsession, her new object of desire—you.

"It's so good like this, never stop, never stop!" Her voice cracks as you burst in her once more. "Yes, breed me, breed me every cycle, I'll bear all your little offspring!" With triggered instincts you roll out from under Kim Lip, only to take her from above, to hug her and pound down into her the way she desires.

Kim Lip's glassy eyes continue to look up at the eclipse, her ears fed a constant stream of your whispers, happy ones of the offspring she will bear, filthy ones of how else you would take her, interjected with spikes of orgasmic ecstasy, of your seed filling her womb over and over. With one last sharp thrust you break the hug, eclipsing the eclipse, leaning down to kiss her passionately as you claim her one last time. Kim Lip trembles as her orgasm washes over her like a huge tide, your thick seed surging into her with finality.

There is a calm after the storm as she cuddles against you, stroking your chest like a satiated lover.

"You have to go to the other goddesses?" she asks, notable disappointment in her voice.

"Yes, but I will be back."

"Look up at the night sky, and remember to think of me."

"Of course."

You move on to the next goddess, and time seems to reverse when you see Heejin.

"You are dressed oddly, Heejin, I assume?" She's dressed in a very distinct fashion, her garment different from what you saw earlier.

"네, 전 희진인데? 넌 제우스이지?"

You don't understand her question, so you merely nod.

"나랑 교배하로 왔구나!"

You still don't understand her, but it probably didn't matter as she proceeds to discard her clothing before getting on all fours, much like Kim Lip did.

"아까 봤어, 난 이자세가 좋아!" She smacks her own butt for emphasis. It is all a bit weird, and you're wrongfooted by not understanding her at all, but you do as she desires and take her from behind. You thrust into her wildly, but it seems to have little effect on her, and she merely stays in place, accepting your thrusts with no reaction. Before long you cum inside her, but all that does is to worsen her mood, and she turns to glare at you.

"아씨, 이런 줄알고,리듬있게해!"

"Algorithm? What are you saying, I don't understand you at all." Heejin blinks rapidly before continuing.

"Oh, you don't speak my language?"

"I do not."

"My apologies, I was saying, you should do it with rhythm. I did not feel anything because there was nothing to build on." You still yourself and follow her instruction, pushing into her with a leisurely tempo, but Heejin is not satisfied.

"No! You're half a second off between thrusts!"

"What is this, a video game? You need me to be that precise? Why don't you show me how you want it then!"

Annoyed as you were, it wasn't a bad deal, and you get to watch Heejin's fine legs, hips, and ass push back on to you.

"You see? Like this! 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 3!" You keep her count in your head, and soon you are able to match Heejin's movements, thrusting forward as she pushes herself back on to you. Soon she's softly moaning, and you have to resist the urge to go faster while she gets wetter and easier to penetrate.

"Can I go faster?"

"What why? This is good for me!" She punctuates this with a louder moan, and one of her legs kick up and shake as she cums without warning. "See?"

"But it doesn't do anything for me."

"That's not my problem, you're the one that came to me. So I set the terms, and I'm not letting you go now." Turns out, Heejin has just as much strength as Kim Lip, and she easily seats herself above you. "Let me have my fun first, and then you can go ahead and breed me, okay?"

Well, at least I don't have to move planets for her, you think to yourself, and you shrug and nod. Heejin begins to rock herself back and forth on your cock—she is tight and wet and pleasurable, but the speed she moves at does absolutely nothing for you. Everything about her helps visually—Heejin running her hands through her hair as she smiles and cums on top of you; Heejin grabbing her own tits, squeezing them hard when she cums on you again; Heejin biting her lower lip and winking at you when she cums a third time; but the lack of speed just means that Heejin leaves you with the bluest case of blue balls a god has ever experienced. She's not even edging you—you'd have to get close to orgasm for her to be edging you.

"Damnit Heejin, let me take my pleasure!"

"Just a couple more." She spreads her legs, rubbing her clit brazenly for you as she gets herself off. And just when you thought she is done Heejin turns around to ride you in reverse now, and all you can see is her back muscles twitching and feeling her pussy grip you when she cums. The only reason you're not going soft is because you're too hard to go soft right now, your balls feeling like the planets you just moved for Kim Lip. You grunt when Heejin falls back against you, and thankfully she whispers tiredly in your ear. 

"Okay, I had my fun, you can have yours now."

"Yeah? I can go fast, without rhythm?"

"Yes I'm— ah!" Heejin moans when you push up into her to test the waters. "I'm sensitive enough that I'll have fun too, just treat that as me warming up."

"That was warmup? All of that?"

"Would you rather I fake my orgasm while you just hammer away at me?"

"And here I thought Jinsoul and Kim Lip were the odd ones..." Heejin giggles as she gets off you, allowing you to direct her back on to all fours.

"They are, I'm just the weird one, and the stubborn one. You may be a god, but I'm the goddess, so if you want me, you do things my way or not at all. And you did do things my way, so now you get to get your way too." She wiggles her hips at you, two manicured fingers spreading open her lips.

"Come on then, daddy." A deep moan rumbles through her when you push in, and you finally get to fuck Heejin the way you want.

"Oh yes, pump away with no rhythm, you could never play OSU, or Superstar Loona as well as I can with rhythm like that! But it's okay, you'll be daddy for me right? Or since you're a god, does that make you god-daddy?"

"I kept quiet while you had your fun, you should shut up while I take mine." You put a hand around Heejin's throat, firmly choking the quips out of her. That seems to only help her along though, as her pussy contracts around you with the same rhythm that you choke her with, the petulant goddess seizing up in pleasure. You smash yourself into her repeatedly without a care, and you let yourself go in short order.

There is no Noah in Heejin's body, but even if there was, no ark would have saved her eggs from your thick cum flooding her womb, entering her in a flood of epic proportions, your wrath unleashed ecstatically into her fertile chalice. You grab her hair and tug at her scalp, and a low rasp escapes her as Heejin takes her final breath for a while. Another thrust into her, and you dunk her head down into the clouds, muffling her cry while you let another wave of cum rip through her.

And another, and another. You take your pleasure just like Heejin took hers. By the end of it she is sprawled on her back, coughing and hacking while you pull out and feed the last of your load down her throat. She leaks cum from both holes, properly disciplined and bred.

"Ack, ugh, come back, I'm not done with you yet!" Heejin shouts hoarsely as you walk away.

"Later, keep yourself entertained!" Heejin wipes your load off her face, only to put her cum-covered fingers back between her legs. Her sense of rhythm is completely wrecked as she cums easily from a few pumps of her own hand—she would be easily entertained until you come back.

"Hey!" You're immediately tackled by the next goddess as she swings her arms around your neck. "Hi hi hi!"

"Choerry?"

"Yes, hiiiii!" She smiles brightly at you. "Are you here to have fun?" Choerry sits in your lap, and she's kissing you eagerly, full of enthusiasm. You respond to the kiss, running a hand up her thighs. She hits your hand, bursting into giggles. "Omo, what are you here to do hmm?"

"I am... here to, you know, mmph—" Choerry hushes you with a hand to your mouth.

"If you want to do that, you'll have to do what I say, okay? Don't worry, I won't be like Heejin, leaving you to explode! You'll get to have fun too." So she's not as innocent as she seems to be.

"Sure, I'll play along."

"Good. Now, answer me this one question. Am I sexy?" She pouts and puts a finger to her lips, a cute expression on her face. You sense that it is a rhetorical question.

"You are."

"Who is?" She slips the cardigan off her shoulders.

"Choerry is."

"She is what?" Woops, her finger just slid a strap off her dress.

"Sexy."

"Good, now put it all together." She twirls the remaining strap around her finger.

"Choerry is sexy." The strap comes off, but she has an arm across her top, keeping you at bay even as your hands run along her shoulders and neck.

"Where am I sexy?"

"Everywhere." You pull her arm away, and the dress slides down partially, revealing her chest to you. Before you can dive in she places a hand on your forehead, pushing you back.

"Ah ah ah, you've only earned this peek."

"You said you wouldn't be like Heejin," you whine, almost as childish as the game Choerry's playing.

"I want you to be more exact, what part of me is sexy?" She puckers her lips, blowing a kiss at you.

"Your lips?"

"Omo really? I never thought you would say that!"

"What—" With a silky move Choerry gets off your lap and positions herself at hip-level to you.

"You should fuck it then, show me that you really do find it sexy." She helps you get over the surprise request, pushing her mouth over your cock. Choerry is true to her word, and quickly you blow a load down her throat, and she makes sure to pull out mid-spurt, ensuring that her lips have some of your frosting on them.

"Your face is sexy too."

"Really? Aww you're too kind!" She sucks you off again, this time making sure that you're aimed all over her pretty and sexy features. When you're done she quickly wipes the cum off her face before getting back in your lap, this time deliberately letting her dress hang off her waist.

"Where else do you find me sexy?"

"Your chest is sexy too."

"Really? Would you like me to squeeze them together like this?" She pushes them together, purposely and naughtily making an up and down motion with them—Choerry is anything but innocent.

"Mmhmm, yes, very sexy Choerry." She breaks out into a wide smile again and sinks back to her knees, this time trapping your shaft between her breasts. The soft squish and smooth skin of her moving globes are wonderful, and you cover her tits with cum as well.

"My hands are sexy too right?" You agree, and Choerry has the perfect lotion on her hands soon after, and she rubs it all along her arms. You are happy to play along with her as she pulls her dress up her legs.

"What about my feet?"

"They're pretty."

"Are they sexy?" She cups them together, the space between her soles perfect for sliding something, or some cock, through it.

"I suppose so." Choerry leans back and begins stroking your cock with her foot, and between her legs you can see her want glistening and shining through—you're going to have lots of fun with her. After covering her feet with more lotion, you comment on her thighs, and all pretense goes out the window. Choerry finally slides her dress off, showing off her creamy thighs and curvy hips as she clambers on top of you. Much like before she squeezes your cock between her thighs, and with a nod from her she allows you to start thrusting. You confirm just how wet she is as your shaft slides right against her lips, her slick coating your cock and making a mess of her thighs.

"You love this don't you?" you ask Choerry, her eyes closed and lips slightly parted, much like her lower lips below.

"I love it, I love feeling sexy. Make me feel sexier than Jinsoul and Kim Lip and I'm yours." She is equally as odd as her sisters, her eyes open once more, smiling brightly even as her darker desires are stoked and burning and dripping all over you—the goddess is innocently seductive. You grope her ass, squeezing a cheek and a giggle from Choerry. Her thighs close more around you, her legs twisting to give your cock maximum friction. She begs you to tell her more about how sexy she is, and you oblige her.

"So seductive Choerry, by now I would have plowed any of the other goddesses but I'm letting you make me wait. I can feel how wet you are, it makes you even sexier." You keep a tight grip on her ass, continuing to thrust up between her thighs. She whispers for more, and you give her more thrusts and more dirty whispers. "Everything about you is sexy, both outside and inside."

"You haven't mmm... you don't know about inside yet."

"I have no doubt you will be. I bet you're sexy when you cum too right? Cum for me Choerry!" Between the rubbing of your shaft against her and your filthy praise Choerry nips your neck to muffle a loud cry as she cums on your command, coating your shaft with even more slick. You grunt into her neck and join her in climax, spewing your load all over the insides and back of her thighs.

"That was great! Am I sexy elsewhere too?" Ever energetic, Choerry is eager to keep going.

"I heard your back is sexy too." She scrambles to get on all fours, and sexily she draws her hair over one shoulder, revealing her flawless back to you. "Perfect, your butt looks so sexy too." You rest your cock between her cheeks.

"You can do my ass, do it like you did my thighs." She squishes and spreads her cheeks, enticing you to do just that. Your hardness rubs against her rosebud as you start hot dogging Choerry while she touches herself. When she cums and some of her slick splashes on your balls, you grunt and splatter her back with your own thick slick, making sure to spread some of it over her butt.

"Now are you convinced you're sexy?" you ask—by now you've covered pretty much every surface of Choerry you can get at.

"Only on the outside," she teases, sitting in your lap. "What about inside, people talk about inner beauty, but what about inner sexy?"

"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do." You line yourself up for Choerry, and she does the rest, letting out a decadent "Ah..." as she sinks on to you. It is a snug fit, and you get to enjoy Choerry's little gasps of joy and discovery while she squirms and grinds on top of you, just to get you in a little deeper.

"Mmm..." A much sexier moan escapes her when your tip nudges against her cervix, and the fit goes from snug to perfect. "Is the inside of me sexy?"

"It's perfect, you feel so good around me."

"Mm mm," Choerry shakes her head. "Say it's sexy."

You wrap an arm around her midriff, applying a gentle rocking motion to get her to move more, to start fucking herself on you as you feed her filthy little nothings.

"Your insides feel so sexy, like I'm going to melt in you. I don't want to pull out ever, and I won't, because your womb?" You jerk up a little, making sure she feels you pushing against it. "It's so sexy too, I'm going to pump everything into you."

"Tell me more, more more more! I want to hear many more people say it!"

"Sexy Choerry!" "Choerry you're so sexy!" "You're the sexiest goddess!" Choerry looks around, and she sees copies of you, all saying the same things. You can sense the smile in the kiss she gives you.

"You're the best!"

"And you're the sexiest." She's even wetter now, slick flowing down her thighs as she gets even more excited by the praises coming from your copies.

"Are they real copies?"

"No, they're copies, but not real."

"But are they touchable?" The dark lust springs once more from her eyes as Choerry gets to the point. "Can they fuck me?" 

You beckon one over, and Choerry pushes you down before hugging you tightly.

"Have him fuck my ass. It's all his, or well, yours!" You instantly feel a different type of pressure as the copy positions itself behind Choerry, and the nubile goddess is still as she feels the exact same cock in her pussy open up her ass. The two of you do your best to take her together, but it is difficult in the position, and you can't really do much but wiggle and grind your hips below Choerry.

"Ah, I feel so full... so sexy!" she moans, the pressure in her butt never going away as the copy thrusts slowly in and out of her.

"You are sexy, taking two of me at once? Amazing. But I want you to feel better." You stop things briefly to stand up, and in short order Choerry has her arms around your neck, her legs around your hips, and her butt in your hands as she is sandwiched nicely between you and your copy. 

"Gyaahhh!" The new position allows gravity to help Choerry get stuffed even better, and with one single mind at work the two of you bounce her stupid on top of both cocks, always making sure that she feels sexy by having one shaft push in as the other one pulls out.

"Ohmygod, it feels even better!" Her head rests against your copy's shoulder, and she makes out with it, giving you access to her neck and chest in return. You leave a few marks on her skin, something that the copies will never get to do, and with your godly branding complete, you get back to the main task at hand. Choerry's divine figure is rattled back and forth between the two of you, each taking turns to pound her deeper onto the other cock.

"Guh fuck... I, I can't stop cumming..." She's clinging to your neck, drooling on your shoulder, spittle flying randomly with each hammer of Choerry's body against the anvils. All the while your other copies are still at work, the praises of Choerry still resonating in the air. "I-I want to feel them too, want them to make me feel sexy."

You have Choerry lie down on your copy, it's cock still buried in her ass. You take up residence in her heavenly chambers once more before the other three copies move over. Two of them take Choerry's hands and wrap them around their own cocks, and she begins stroking them mindlessly. The last copy kneels and pushes his shaft against her cherry red lips, and she obliges with her mouth. Choerry has never felt sexier in her life as she services all of "you" at once, dealing admirably with your cock in each of her holes, yet still managing to stroke the two in her hands.

"You look so sexy right now Choerry, if only the other goddesses could see you." Her mouth is too full to reply, but she clenches around you harder than before. "Would you like them to see us?"

"Mm! Mm!" She looks at you and nods, jerking the cock in her mouth as well.

"Choerry!" "Oh my god!" "What are you doing!" "Ahahaha!" Jinsoul, Haseul, Kim Lip, and Heejin appear, exclaiming at what they see before them. Choerry pops the shaft out of her mouth to address them.

"See! I am sexy, not cute! I—mmph!" Your copy takes Choerry's mouth back for their own use, and the other four goddesses are left incredibly aroused at the display in front of them. Choerry's body undulates in an erotic yet haphazard fashion, yourself and each copy manipulating a part of her for your own pleasure—you push her hips down with each thrust; your copy drives her hips up as it fucks up into her ass; the one at her mouth jerks her head, a hand in her hair rocking her back and forth; the other two drive her arms, helping her stroke them faster by thrusting into her hands. Faster and faster all of you work Choerry, and it all comes to a head at once.

"Mm! Gluk! Mmmf! Ngh mmmmmm! Pffhhhuck!" All of you plunge into Choerry with finality, and the instant explosion of cum inside and across her body makes her orgasm that much harder. Her legs jerk and thrash about, her toes curl, and she squirts against your abs even as her own chest is covered with two thick loads. When she goes limp, the goddesses watch you and your copies pull away, leaving Choerry leaking cum from all holes and dripping cum everywhere on her body.

"Put it back in, I want more, I want more... No, don't, mine!" You turn to see the goddess walk towards you, and each of them reaches for a you-copy. "Don't take..." Choerry pouts, but you pull her into your embrace, whispering in her ear.

"Let them go Choerry, you were so sexy, you made them all horny." Your point is illustrated from seeing the goddesses in different positions—Jinsoul has her legs wrapped around you, letting herself get carried and fucked; Haseul is on all fours, letting you mount her; Kim Lip has her back pressed against a cloud wall, letting you pound her into it; Heejin is on her side, one leg raised lewdly in the air while you fuck her sideways. 

"Really? It was because of me?"

"Mmhmm, we should enjoy the show, besides, I want you to myself." You sit up against a cloud wall of your own making, allowing Choerry to lean back and draw your arms around her. You rub her clit lazily while she strokes you, just watching the orgy unfold in front of you.

"Did I look like that earlier?" she wonders aloud, as she see Jinsoul's expression twist in pleasure; Haseul's head jerks back and she let's out a cry as she cums; Kim Lip's biting her lower lip, low groans and little whimpers escaping every time she is pounded—her hair changes shades erratically, like she's losing her mind; Heejin rhythm is similarly off, sometimes moving fast, sometimes undulating slow, but always cumming, always drooling, her thighs and your shaft are shining with slick.

"You looked even sexier than that. You made them like this." Choerry kisses your jaw, murmuring as she grabs your shaft, nudging you into her.

"Make me like that too, breed me again." You lean forward, pushing the both of you on all fours, the perfect position to both breed Choerry and watch the others get bred. Your hands are greedy, one groping her breasts, the other grabbing her hips, holding her stably as you hump into her. Choerry looks on, watching her fellow goddesses get plowed and mated, each utterly satisfied at the pleasure you were giving them. She feels your warm hand on her belly, and she grabs it with a free hand, squeezing you as she tightens her pussy—she wants your load badly.

Choerry's scream is deafening when she goes over the edge with you, the warmth filling her overwhelming and delicious. She collapses in the clouds, eyes drooping in tiredness, all she sees is white—the white of the clouds, and the rivers of potent seed flowing out of Jinsoul, Haseul, Kim Lip, and Heejin.

Your run complete, the copies disappear, and you rest next to Choerry, smiling. She smiles back, seeming to glow, like sunshine incarnate. She gets brighter and brighter, and It is all consuming, the goddesses disappearing from sight—you're not fading to black, you're ascending into radiance. The last thing you hear is Choerry's laugh.

Large black words are the only distraction from the overwhelming brightness.

Replay DLC?

A/N: I threw in lots of references to each member, tried to portray them with their own exaggerated personalities. The Heejin Korean part was purely to make an "Algorithm" reference, don't worry about understanding it. If you get confused about the ground and walls existing, don't think too hard about it, it's all "god stuff", the ground is there if you need it, the wall is there if you need it (all in the form of clouds), cum that's on Choerry's body magically disappears, no need for clean up.

This is me mostly just writing and not worrying about the details I didn't want to worry about, so it is definitely more to the point and "get to the scene I want to write about". Hope it reads fine, thanks for reading and Happy New Year!

[aeithalian]

What even are the ancient laws?

I've been meaning to get around to this one for ages.

Anyways! Good question, guys! Answer: nobody fucking knows. Sure, we have good ideas. The laws are mentioned every now and then as a "oh, no little mortal child I can't help you - that's against the ancient laws. But hey! You can help me."

Let's be honest: the ancient laws, while there might be legitimate reasons for some of them, have transformed into yet another way that the gods hold themselves as the high and mighty overlords of the world, and keep their mortal offspring below them at all costs. But... why? Are the demigods really that dangerous to the gods? The answer: yes, but not to the gods - to Zeus.

Let's start from the beginning and list out everything we know about the laws. I did the hard work, you're welcome:

1. Gods cannot steal each others' symbols of power.

2. A god cannot initiate a fight with a mortal.

3. No direct interference - gods are not allowed to interfere in the lives and ongoings of mortals or monsters.

4. No more than 3 people are allowed on a quest.

5. Harming the sacred animals of a god is forbidden.

And that's it. Those are the only true mentions of the Ancient Laws in the entirety of the Riordanverse (at least, the Greco-Roman books).

And I think we all know what the most important one is. Direct Interference is the only one we see Zeus actively enforcing (or at least attempting to). But why is that? Well, stealing another god's symbol of power and initiating a battle with a mortal are physically impossible for gods, and the ban on harming a sacred animal is very commonly accepted already, as it's a guaranteed way to get your ass whooped. And the rule about having 3 on a quest isn't really something Zeus is going to spare the effort to enforce - starting a quest with more than 3 will typically guarantee that you come home with only 3, if at all.

But Direct Interference is the most interesting law, simply because it's the one that our demigod narrators are affected by the most, either in the ways their godly parents violate it, or refuse to do so.

There's plenty of instances where this law has had quite a bit of impact on the story and relationships. For example, Hermes used this law as a major reason why he could not help Luke or prevent him from raising Kronos. But let's be honest: besides Zeus himself, Hermes might be one of the only gods that actually obey this rule, despite the fact that he wants to break it. Just off the top of my head, I can name an instance in the series where every single Olympian at least toed the line of violating Direct Interference, except for maybe Demeter. And I'm not sure Dionysus counts, since he has contact with his half-blood children because of his position at CHB.

But there's something interesting even about the ways these gods break the law of Direct Interference. In most instances, these interactions with mortals happen when the god is in disguise, or through dreams. And, based on how little it seems like the gods get punished for breaking Direct Interference, we can only assume that Zeus is not aware of when gods talk to demigods via dreams. I mean, he's probably aware that it happens: Apollo, Poseidon, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Hera, Ares (who occasionally follows the rule, but only as an excuse to not help a demigod out), Artemis (although she is subject to exceptions due to her domain), Dionysus, Athena (I think?), and Hades all do it at least once in the RRverse. I mean, you could also argue that dreams are a more indirect means if interference, but I can also see how that's an iffy argument at best.

So, what does this mean? If there is one thing I know about laws and rules in general is that people tend to break laws if the direct consequences of their own actions don't directly apply to them. Gods would probably respect the law of Direct Interference more if there was an immediate negative effect on themselves, aside from just the punishment.

Think of a law or a rule that people break all the time. Littering, for example. People do it all the time, even though it's bad. But why is it bad? A person who doesn't have a lot of forethought will drop a piece of trash and say 'hey, that doesn't affect me. The planet will suffer and this will be a pain in the ass to clean up, but I'm not the one cleaning it up, so why do I care?' If you don't care about the planet or other people cleaning up your trash, the only reason you have to not litter is that you're afraid of the punishment.

I think the attitude towards Direct Interference is similar. The only reason a god would obey is if they're afraid of the punishment, or if they respect Zeus enough to follow his laws (which, clearly, is not the norm in godly society). And even then, what is a punishment to an immortal being? The only way Zeus punishes gods that really matters to them is turning them mortal - and that's a very rare occurrence.

By that logic, we can assume that a violation of Direct Interference does not actually negatively affect gods all that much. To be honest, it doesn't negatively affect mortals either. Maybe monsters have the short end of the stick, but monsters didn't write the law of Direct Interference - Zeus did. So... why? Why does it exist?

My first thought was the Fates and prophecy - if gods can interact in mortal life without recourse, then it might fuck with the way the Fates operate. But gods have been interfering for the entirety of civilization. If they really had a the power to alter the future just by dipping a toe in mortal life, don't you think it would have been obvious? Even in the RRverse, there are plenty of instances, as I've mentioned, that gods have interfered in a quest, and said quest wasn't severely fucked over because of that interference. Take, for instance, Percy's quest to save Artemis - Apollo intervened, but where were the consequences of that? Where were the earth-shattering effects?

So what gives? Also, I'd argue that the gods would actually obey the law more if they knew it had such a negative effect on the proper functioning of the Fates, especially Apollo since that's his domain. So I'm going to say that's not the case.

So we're back to the first question: why does the law against Direct Interference exist if it has no effect on the gods or the Fates? In all references to the law against Direct Interference in the Riordanverse, never once is it explained why this law exists. Why would Zeus create it if violating it doesn't have some major world-ending effect? Gods are gods: what could make this law so important that it's the only one Zeus makes a true effort to enforce?

Well, it makes sense to me that Zeus would create the law if he's the one who has to bear the immediate consequences of it. Which raises the question: what are the immediate consequences? What reason could Zeus possibly have to separate half-blood children from their godly parents? HMmmmmmmMMMM.

Well, there's another interesting thing about the Ancient Laws: some of them don't apply to mortals. Mortals can steal a god's symbol of power, and mortals can initiate battles with gods. Imagine with me a scenario in which your enemy has an army that is not subject to the same laws you are. Gods are (as far as I know) physically incapable of stealing symbols of power and starting battles with mortals, but what does that matter if they have half-blood children that reach the power of minor gods, like Percy, who can do that for you?

It's a terrifying premise, if you're Zeus. And before you start telling me that I'm going down yet another far-fetched rabbit hole (listen - I always make sense in the end), we've seen Zeus go down this line of thought before, all the way back in The Lightning Thief. Remember???

Chiron said that the reason Zeus blamed Percy for stealing the Master Bolt was because the mines the Cyclopes used to forge the bolts is close to Poseidon's domain, and he thinks Poseidon has it out for him. Now, there's a theory running around the TOA fandom that gods can control how much power they hand off to their children (as seen with Apollo's children, who rarely inherit the power of prophecy, which we're willing to bet is something Apollo is controlling from behind the scenes), and if Zeus knew that Poseidon had had a child, it's possible Zeus thought Poseidon was trying to create a super-child just for the sake of overthrowing him. I'm willing to bet that one of his greatest fears is that an über-powerful child of one of his brothers would be used to steal his symbol of power and then overthrow him. He views demigod children like weapons that his enemies can use because they could be inherently dangerous to the standard structure of godly society. His main fear is somebody with the motivation of Luke having the power of Percy. And what do paranoid kings do when presented with the idea of their greatest fears? Make laws against them.

The only way Zeus could be sure that Poseidon would never intentionally have a child like Percy, then bring him under his wing just in time to start a rebellion against him is to ban that kind of interaction at all.

Counterpoint: you could also say that the law against Direct Interference was a way to protect the mortals against the gods who might harm them or do them dirty. Like getting women pregnant while in the form of a swan. Ahem ahem. Do you get my point, though? It's not like Zeus has any real reason to protect the mortals in this way, since he was one of the main perpetrators anyways, but it is a damn good excuse if he also wanted a reason to prevent a potential revolution led by demigods.

Now, if you'll bear with me for a little bit longer, there is one more interesting thing I'd like to point out: In the entirety of Trials of Apollo, Apollo (a god, obviously) only mentions following the Ancient Laws once. Unsurprisingly, at the time he's mentioning the law against Direct Interference, he's also violating it - when he kills Commodus to save lives, Rome, and for his own peace of mind. So, to me this basically means that Apollo doesn't give two single shits about following laws against Direct Interference.

Connect that with everything else we know about Apollo post-trials: he loves his kids, doesn't want to see them hurt, and is trying to distance himself from Zeus and godly society. Even pre-trials, he doesn't have any trouble admitting that Zeus makes his rules and laws difficult to follow - nobody is good enough in Zeus' eyes. I truly believe, if there's any person who, given the proper means and motivation to overthrow at least some aspects of the Direct Interference law, he would.

Just saying. Feel free to add on if anybody else has more thoughts!

[a masterlist of my other metas]

[jinxs-gf]

Politely asking for more black cat reader x kaldhur pls :3 u write them so cute I love their dynamic of flirty and mischievous x serious and blunt

I loved writing kaldur’s part in my black cat hcs!! here ya go

w.c. 491

"This happens every time we have a mission. We get strict orders to partner with someone or be in a certain spot. And if we don't listen we get scolded! So why doesn't Kitty-Cat over here get that same treatment?" Wally throws his arms up, voice raised a pitch in frustration.

Your eyes narrow at him, the claws of your suit presenting themselves, a clear warning to the boy. He looks away sheepishly, he does not want to piss you off.

"Simple. He gets a make out sesh for every order broken," Conner says, clearly as pleased as the rest of his team.

Roy adds his own two cents, humor clear in his voice, "Seems like a fair trade in his book."

Robin doesn't feel like joking about the matter though, "You know that could have screwed us over right?

"But it didn't. Everything went according to plan."

"Everything went according to plan except for Cat! They were supposed to stay with Artemis!”

It was a long argument. You merely stood next to Kaldur the whole time, watching him be scolded by his team while they spoke as if you weren’t there. It didn’t bother you, you knew they were right. Would that make you change your behavior? No.

"They're right you know. You need to start listening to my orders. We need to take this criticism from the team.”

You hum, "So there's a 'we' now?"

He sighs, "That’s all you got from that, huh?"

“You know me hun, I’ve got my eye on the prize.”

Kaldur stands with his arms crossed, looking lost in thought, “You’re…a distraction. To me.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

“It could be. I can’t have you around when we’re on missions, it clouds my judgment. I can’t be distracted by you. I need to be clear headed in case something serious happens.”

“Sooo you’re saying you like me so much you can’t have me around? Do my kisses fry your brain completely?” It was meant as an exaggerated tease, but Kaldur took it seriously.

“Yes, Cat. That’s exactly what I’m saying.” And maybe he was exaggerating a bit as well.

You hum happily, “So where’s that kiss you promised me earlier?”

“Will you behave from now on? Listen to my orders?” You walk so you’re planted right in front of him, hands clasped behind your back, feigning sheepishness.

“Aww but where’s the fun in that?” Your breathy voice speaks louder than the innocent exterior you were trying to fake (you knew he could see right through it).

“I’m serious.”

You exaggerate a huff of frustration, “Okay okay, team leader. No promises, though.”

“That’s good enough for me,” a pause, and then, “The team is right, I don’t have the best judgment when it comes to you.”

You smile widely, arms winding around his neck, “You love it though, right?”

He hesitates, holding his breath as your lips inch closer to his,

“Yeah.”

[soleminisanction]

I've always really liked DC's in-house choice of referring to their various superhero groupings as "families," but it has gotten a little frustrating recently with people both in canon and in fandom seeming to forget that families aren't just a parental-unit-and-kids formation. They're complicated, and a lot of the DC families are too messy to fit into that neat little nuclear family mode.

Which is to say... here's some scattered thoughts/summaries about how these families are actually structured in canon, because I think it's interesting:

Supers -- The smaller, more traditional Superfamily (Clark, Lois, Kara, Kon, etc.) is a pretty traditional Midwestern nuclear family, with Jimmy Olsen filling the role of close family friend/goofy neighbor sidekick (in the Silver Age, he was Kara's would-be suitor) and Steel feeling more like part of Clark's personal circle of friends. The recent line up, though, with Jon, the twins, Kong and Nat? Starts to feel more like some old dynasty or noble house, complete with fostered foundlings and the Steels acting almost like knights under a noble's banner, possibly reflective of what the House of El would have been on Krypton.

Arrows -- Might currently be the closet to a traditional nuclear family structure. You've got Ollie and Dinah, their younger sisters, Ollie's adopted and biological children, and Ollie's granddaughter through Roy, plus by some counts Roy's co-parent and her sister as "in-laws." Bonnie and Cissie King-Jones are adjacent to but not technically "part" of the family, though I believe it's implied at one point that Ollie might also be Cissie's bio-dad. Pretty straightforward, these guys are actually family and they act like it, for good and ill.

Shazam Family -- Also a literal, actual family. Not originally, the original golden age "Marvel Family" was considerably more complicated and only Billy and Mary were full siblings, but nowadays the whole point of the modern Shazam family is that they're foster siblings united by familial love and that's fantastic. Meanwhile your average Black Adam story is 75% angsty family drama, 25% Egyptian mythology references.

Flashes -- Technically closer to three nuclear families (the Allens, the Wests and the Garricks; four if you include the Quicks), two of whom are united by marriage and all of whom are bound by the Speedforce, which, given its semi-spiritual connections to things like Speedster afterlives, can act almost like a religious force that connects them to the additional members like Avery, Circuit Breaker and Max as Bart's foster-dad. They're a big, sprawling tree with more cousins than siblings, the kind of family that functionally has a reunion every Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Lanterns -- Now these guys are the exception that proves my point about the whole 'family' thing not being straightforward. The lanterns aren't a family, they're a corps. Soldiers. Space cops. Comrades-in-arms. They respect each other, have each other's backs, might even like or care about each other, but those last two are optional, and they don't have the same kind of assumed obligations towards each other that a family would have. They're friends and co-workers, not family, but that doesn't mean their relationships are less significant, they're just different.

Wonders -- Roughly half of them are either one of Hippolyta's daughters (Diana, Donna, Nubia pre-Crisis) or related to them through the gods (Cassie), and the other half (Artemis, Yara, modern-age Nubia) use sister as a term of endearment more in a utopian lesbian commune kind of way. I think they brought Steve Trevor back recently? He's basically the Ken in this equation and perfectly fine with that role. None of which should be surprising if you've seen Professor Marston and the Wonder Women.

Bats -- This is the one that people get really wrong when they try to force it into a traditional family structure. Don't let WFA fool you, the Bats are and have always been way more a snarled mess of tangled interpersonal relationships than they've ever been a cohesive family. Whether Dick is Bruce's son or his brother depends on what era you're talking about, and the former reading is much more recent than you think -- as in "started cropping up in the early 2000s" recent. Barbara is both Cassandra's sister and her mother. Duke and Steph both have living parents and neither of them want or would ever dream of treating Bruce like their dad; Tim was the same way until his dad died. None of the Robins ever lived in the mansion together, nor did Cass. Babs considered Jean-Paul Valley her brother and Huntress is so close to Tim she once hallucinated him calling her Big Sister. They're a beautiful mess of people finding places where their broken edges fit together into something that works for them and trying to reduce it down to a cozy nuclear family is just so goddamn reductive and lazy.

Blue Beetles -- Are only tangentially related to each other. Seriously, they never even get direct mentoring, each one just takes over when the previous one dies and works on completely different rules from the other two. They're complete strangers bound by a legacy and that's honestly pretty fun.

Zataras -- There's only three of them and they're literally a father, daughter and cousin.

Martians -- Not really a family because there's only the two of them, but an interesting case where the two survivors of what was functionally a war of mutually assured destruction came together in an attempt to find some peace in the aftermath of what they'd lost.

Titans -- The JLA and JSA aren't really in the "family" category, but the Titans lean into it hard, mostly because they're a textbook found family. They don't mirror a nuclear family structure, they're simply a group of people who came together to form a mutual support network. They're the idealized college friends you grew into your own with, some of them childhood companions and others you only met once you leave home for the first time, but all of them friends that you manage to maintain contact with for life, with everyone coming back together even as you scatter and do your own things.

Young Justice -- Meanwhile, this team is the chaotic group of misfits you hung out with when you were a teenager, especially when you were just starting to be allowed to act without adult supervision. You drive each other crazy, none of you know you're all queer as fuck, and you'd fight a bear for any of them even if they asked you not to. They'd probably be insulted if you tried to call them a family. They come out here to get away from their families, thank you very much.

[moonsunmermaid]

Heavenly guided messages ✨✨✨Pick a Pile

Disclaimer: Please remember, this is just a general reading from the collective, apply how it might resonate and take in consideration that tarot readings are not 100% real, you have the power to change your life anytime. Also please, regarding any kind of health issues this is no game, go to a doctor, I or spirit will never give you any advice regarding your health in this blog.

1-2-3

Pile 1- Reiki Magic

In this moment and age, with all the things going on in this planet earth, heaven wants to assure you you are protected and safe. Angels and your spirit guides want you to know you can trust your intuition, they whisper the best advice possible and you can feel it if you connect to them and your heart.

If you have any practice that helps you connect to your guides, they want you to know they are with you all the time and encorauge to keep going with the practice. Sometimes even when we can't hear, feel or see, faith is imporant. Anyways, here's your message, keep trying connect with them.

Also there's a message from the moon, you can call her Selene, Diana, Artemis, Ix Chel, Khonsu, Hecate... or just the moon itself, however you like to call her, she whispers teachings that benefit you. I recomend you learning about the moon cycles and moon magic if you're into witchraft.

Pile 2- Glitter Wings

Energy sorrounds you and your aura, you are picking up on too much from others and you have to learn to let go of what is not yours. Your love for humanity is appreciated and venerated in heaven, yet you also have to love yourself. Angels don't want you depleted because of the efforts you put onto others!

Mother Kwan Yin, who always helps me , wants to tell you she's there for you too. Maybe this is too specific, but if you're suffering, you can call her and she will try help and allievate your pain.

Try be super soft with yourself and allow yourself to rest your mind as much as possible. Sometimes we need reset days when we don't talk with anyone, listen to anything and we just are. Maybe this is an extreme, and extremes are never ok, but try ligthen outside stimuli and kiet the mind. Do not force it, be kind to yourself, but try relax, please, also when I was reading the cards a huge amount of messages came to me, my ears started ringing and I almost had to stop the readings because it was too much stimuli for me. If this is how you are feeling in life, please, stop for a while and breathe!! (🙏🙏🙏 this is also a message from me )

Pile 3 - Angel Doves

For some reason, you got extra cards... also while I was shuffling the cards I felt a strong pain in my heart. I don't even know how to start, but I feel you, ok? I sense you are now healing from a very toxic situation, but you are determined to achive a goal or a dream, or maybe you only want to be free of this pain. One day at a time, progress takes you to the final goal, not perfection.

There's angels surrounding you to help, they are guiding you through the dark waters of uncertainity and want you to know comparing yourself to others is what makes it harder. They want you to remain calm and look inside, your light is never ending and your heart holds the magic to heal thousand million pains and more.

When we come to earth (or any other planet to be honest) we separate from source and we become individuals. Ego makes us believe we are not in comunication with source, society makes us believe we are not good, we are not God, they tell us God is a separate entity from us. Even in spiritual circles sometimes I heard we are nothing and we are bad compared to angels!!! But what angels want to remind you here and now is you are them. We all are Achangel Michael, we all are Kwan Yin, we all are God. Their energy is within us, and in this case: the energy of a thousand suns is within you, to heal or to achieve any goal. Allow the voice of angels get to you because you are them, you have the power, never foget this, please.

[raphael-angele]

Nico is a Baby, Bianca is Alive (The Separation)

Before the cabins decided they'll take turns watching over Nico while Bianca is away, Percy and Annabeth were the only ones Bianca trusted to look after him.

Bianca: And make sure he eats his vegetables.

Percy: We know, Bianca.

Bianca: If he eats sweets, make sure that he drinks water after.

Percy: *repeats what she's saying* Yeah, yeah. We know. You already told us like 15 times

Bianca: *sigh* Sorry. I never left him for so long.

Percy: He'll be fine with us. We promise. Annabeth will give him a one-on-one teaching, I'll make sure he wont get hurt during training.

Bianca: *narrows her eyes*

Percy: And we'll both see to it that he eats healthy and gets enough sleep.

Bianca: ...Uh huh

Nico, running to them: PERCY! PERCY! C'MON! You promised to play Mythomagic wirh me *drags him off*

Percy: *dragged off* Ok, ok

Annabeth, walking up to Bianca:

Bianca: Hope he wont be too much work.

Annabeth: Eh, he's been a delight so far. He's kinda like a mini Percy

Bianca: Now that kinda worries me

Annabeth: *chuckles*

Bianca: Maybe I shouldn't go. I'll just tell Lady Artemis that I'll go next solstice.

Annabeth: Are you kidding me? Bianca, you get to travel the whole entire world. You shouldn't miss out on that, especially after spending 70 years in that hotel

Bianca: I know. It's just...I'm starting to think that maybe I rushed into the decision.

Annabeth: Hey, you have every right to be join out of interest. And Nico's happy for you. Sure it took some time but he is. Sone time apart will do you two some good.

Bianca: You really think I'm doing the right thing here?

Annabeth: I think you deserve to find out who you really are. And that's not gonna happen if you're always gonna be concerned with the well being of other people over your own.

Thalia, entering: Bianca. Ready to go?

Bianca: *looks at Annabeth*

Annabeth: *smiles*

Bianca: ...Nico!

Nico: *goes over to her then sees Thalia* You have to go now?

Bianca: Yeah.

Nico: *hugs her tightly*

Bianca: *hugs back*

Nico: Is there anything I can do to make you stay?

Bianca: ... *slowly pulls away* Nico. You know that I can't always be by your side, right? I can't always look after you.

Nico: Yeah, but-

Bianca: You need to be a big boy, now. You need to learn how to do things without me.

Nico: B-but, I don't know how to be a big boy.

Bianca: That's why people here will help you. People like Annabeth and Percy will help you.

Nico: But why can't you teach me?

Bianca: ...because I need to grow up, too.

Nico: *hugs her again* You'll come and visit me right?

Bianca: Of course I will. Every chance I get.

Nico: And you'll send me post cards?

Bianca: I'll try to send you one every week to tell you where I am and what I did.

Thalia, putting her hand on her shoulder: It's time to go.

Bianca:

Nico: *lets her go*

Bianca: Tell you what? How 'bout I let the trainers teach you how to shoot an arrow?

Nico, sparkle in his eyes: REALLY?!

Bianca: Yeah, it'll be good on you to know how to fight monsters. And if you guys beat us in Capture the Flag next time, I'll let them teach you how to use a sword.

Nico, sparkles in his eyes: *gaaasssp* Percy! Annie! You heard that? I get to use a sword!

Bianca: *soft smile then looks at Thalia*

Thalia: Let's go.

Bianca:

Nico:

Bianca: *kisses his forehead* Arrivederci, soldatino.

Nico: Arrivederci, amata sorella

[goblinwithartsupplies]

This is not my original post it belongs to @caffeinatedflumadiddlebutpjo who deleted their account but it’s so good and needs to be preserved

I like that there is just... A noticeable gap in the gods' under standing of mortal children. Like, Zeus really accused a TWELVE-YEAR-OLD of stealing his master bolt and the only justification I have for this is "Well, Hermes stole Apollo's cattle right after birth so that tracks".

But now I have a theory that the gods don't rediv understand how mortal

children work and that's why they're so blase about sending them to do ridiculous nonsense?

Like...

Zeus: What do you mean 'first word'? Why would they only speak one word?

Artemis: Humans can only cry when they are born.

Zeus: Nonsense. When vou were born you didn't cry. You delivered your brother and then came to me to ask for a birthday present.

Artemis: Humans aren't the same though. They can't walk or talk for many months. When they do speak it is only in small, short words.

Zeus: …that's not true

Artemis: I'm afraid it is

Zeus, under his breath: What the fuck

Later on...

Zeus: Did you know human babies can't speak when thev're tirst born?

Poseidon: that's so sad. Are demigods like that?

Zeus: I have no idea.

Poseidon: Mavbe we should ask around more. Athena was saying something about brain development.

Zeus: Their... THEIR BRAINS AREN'T DEVELOPED?!?!

Poseidon: I guess

Zeus: THESE HUMANS ARE WALKING AROUND WITHOUT FULLY FORMED BRAINS?!

Poseidon: I mean, so are you and I don't complain.

The quest continues...

Hermes: So... you're telling me that human kids don't know how to fend themselves at all? They need to be taught? I mean, fighting, of course, but outside of that???

Poseidon: Yeah, I thought it was like fish

where you just naturally know what you’re supposed to do. But apparently they have no idea and need to be shown everything

Hermes: I... that's awful. Why?

Poseidon: I don't know.

Suddenly all the gods are very concerned...

Ares: You mean to tell me that my kids are probably traumatized from war??

Hermes: That's what the research shows. Human kids aren't supposed to handle that kind of stuff and demigods are more human than we anticipated.

Ares: But... War?

Hermes: Idk what to tell you, bud. I'm beginning to understand why they hate us tho.

Everyone is naturally panicking

Demeter: YOU SENT MONSTERS AFTER MY BABIES WHEN THEY HAD NO BRAINS AND COULDN'T EVEN READ?!?

Hecate: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT DEMIGODS WEREN'T BORN KNOWING HOW TO READ!?!?!

Athena: Our children all have dyslexia.

Demeter: YOU LET YOUR DAUGHTERRUN AWAY WHEN SHE WAS SEVEN! SILENCE!

Athena:…And? She is very mature and had my protection. I'm not like the rest of you. rhave done my researcn on humans and led her accordingly.

Apollo: Think of it this way, Athena. She would have just started losing baby teeth when she left home.

Athena: What?

Apollo: According to my son, they shed teeth. Like, they fall out and get new, bigger ones when they re old enougn. Didn't you know that?

Hades: That's disgusting. Our children do that?

Athena: I... That's not true! Your son is a liar!

Apollo: I AM THE GOD OF TRUTH!

It's a whole thing on Olympus

Hephaestus: Wait, they NEED to eat?!?! It isn't just for fun???

Hermes: What about water???

Dionysus: How do none ot vou know these things. Maybe you all should be camp directors for awhile-

Hades: Eight hours? They need EIGHT hours of sleep? A Day? There's no way NICO Is getting that much..

Dionysus: Oh, are they? Yeah lol. None of them are getting that much.

Aphrodite: Oh my gods... What happens if they don't get enough? Do they become ugly? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE MY KIDS UGLY?!

Zeus: They're so fragile. Why are they even allowed out of the camp?! Chiron, explain!

Chiron: You... Uh, ask them to do stuff for you?

All of Olympus: *flips a table*

[meggannn]

hades 2 conversation dialogue my sister and i found interesting

SPOILERS obviously. my sister has been failing her runs on purpose to get more dialogue out of people. this post discusses dialogue that was not in the developer stream.

on hermes (mel and hecate are speaking about hermes and artemis at the start):

on melinoë, artemis, and the olympians:

on why mel is the only one who can kill chronos:

on hecate & mel's relationship:

on a secret order that mel is apart of:

on mel's job at the crossroads:

tension and secrets in the crossroads!!!!

when you give hypnos nectar:

(i wasn't fast enough to get his reply. hypnos says something like "zzzz... welcome to the.... zzzz"), then mel says:

other things i didnt screengrab:

hypnos: mel can remark to charon that hypnos is still asleep, charon says "arrghhh," and mel says "wait, he's of more use this way...?" possibly implying hypnos's sleep is not what it seems

nemesis: is uhhh kind of really mean!!!! she says something to mel along the lines of "you're upset you lost a family you don't remember? i KNEW my mom, all you did was be born"

moros: you can invite moros to the crossroads and he stands near the fated list far from everyone because nobody wants to talk to doom incarnate (odysseus in particular makes a point to say he'll stay away). iirc he introduces himself as "the bearer of bad news" which i find kind of clever but also a bit sad. if you give him nectar iirc he says nobody has given him a gift/offering before. aphrodite also notes that moros has made mel's acquaintance and calls him good-looking.

hephaestus: he criticizes your weapon's workmanship when you first meet him, then later takes it back and compliments it as very good, and says "just don't go spreading it around" to the olympians.

takeaways:

hermes is "missing" but he's on a mission for the war to find out what chronos is scheming

artemis (and hermes) didn't tell the olympians hecate has been raising a titan-killer (mel) and the olympians don't really believe she can do it but send her boons anyway, presumably figuring why not

only mel can enter the house of hades to challenge chronos, so that's why she needs to make this journey alone

hecate is rather sweet and mentorly with mel, but she gets exhausted and irritated when mel doubts herself. i didn't grab it but there's a bit where mel says if hecate had not held back, she knows she would've lost, and hecate snaps "you know?" asking mel why she puts limits on herself

mel, hecate, selene, and artemis are part of a secret order called the silver sisters that hermes also supports. olympus does not know about it. all these gods (save hermes) also have moon iconography in their designs

pretty sure moros will be romanceable. i think his and mel's interactions are very sweet, and aphrodite notes he's arrived and calls him good-looking, which reminded me of how she commented on thanatos to zag. no idea who might be a female romance option yet (i'm assuming there is one)

hephaestus boons are a lot of fun, per my sister

the big one: HECATE AND NEMESIS KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T??? hecate maybe knew an attack was coming and didn't do anything?? nyx is also confirmed to basically be not around though we don't know where she is. and hecate is something called a handmaiden??? is she meant to serve nyx? it now seems like the children of nyx are meant to serve hecate, and eris isn't doing that, but nemesis is playing guard duty begrudgingly. so maybe nemesis thinks hecate let the house be captured/destroyed for her own ends, possibly also to get nyx out of the picture, so nyx's children would serve her(?). maye nyx is also a silver sister and hecate is now in command at the crossroads/on earth, second only to selene?

[paladin--strait]

Here Is the request as asked!

It was that Matt Rempe and the reader were in a long distance relationship, she flies over which he knows about. But she goes to watch one of his games, afterwards she walks into the locker room with a baggy jersey on and a mini skirt (obviously it has Remps name and number on the back).

How would he react? 🤣

i hope this is okay! let me know if you want me to rewrite it! ❤️

-

matt and i's relationship grew after we met when the rangers came to play the new jersey devils. he saw me wearing a jonas siegenthaler jersey, sitting on the nearest row to the ice.

when matt knocked jonas out with a high elbow, skated over to me, he smiled and laughed, pointing at me from the other side of the glass. my eyes widened in confusion and a bit of fear at his actions.

when a staff member came up to me after the game and handed me a pass to meet the rangers players after the game, i looked at the her with confusion. "i'm not here for the rangers, sorry." i don't accept the pass and hand it back to her.

"miss, one of the rangers players wants to meet you. please, follow me." she hands me the pass again, insisting i come with her. i sigh and follow her, down a hallway and past a bunch of reporters, waiting to get in to meet the players for post game interviews.

when the staff brought me into the locker room for the rangers, she pointed at matt rempe and told me that he was the one who requested to see me. i look at him and make eye contact, his black eye staring back at me as i walk towards him.

"so, did you like that elbow i got on siegenthaler earlier?" he smirks out at me. "saw you in his jersey, and i knew i needed you to be a rangers fan. and to make it even better, wearing my jersey."

i scoff. "hurting my favorite hockey player isn't going to win me over, ya know." i smart mouth back at him, rolling my eyes.

matt then made a comment about me being feisty, and that he needed to find another way to win me over. he offers to take me out that night in an attempt to win me over, and it took some convincing, but he finally managed to take me out for dinner and drinks.

he eventually brought me over to become a rangers fan, or what i called the dark side for a long time. matt and i became friends and eventually more, but the distance between us became a problem very quickly. matt and i are both clingy. when we finally get to see each other, we can't keep our hands off of the other.

we facetime every morning and every night, even if one is too tired to stay awake. we fall asleep on the phone if we have to. so when i had enough of the late night and early morning calls, i booked a plane ticket to new york.

after the flight, when i land in new york, i walk out of the small, cramped hallway and walk to baggage claim. matt told me he would be waiting there, but i didn't know that he would bring some of the guys with him to meet me. i smile and we run at each other, giving each other the biggest hug.

after a while of hugging each other so tightly we could barely breathe, we let go and give each other a kiss. i hear my name being called and look behind matt to see igor and artemi. i smile and hug them too. we smile and talk a bit before matt grabs my bags for me and we leave.

-

the next day, matt has a game at MSG. i tell him i'll be there and i'll see him at the arena after the game. but while he's gone all day to rest at the gym in the arena, using the hot tubs and the physical therapy to help him warm up for the game like he always does, i'm sleeping in his comfortable bed that smells like him.

after i wake up, i spend my time at home before the game getting ready. taking a shower and after that doing my makeup and hair. before i get dressed, i have two hours left before the game starts, so i don't get changed just yet. i use the extra time to put my things away for while i stay in new york.

when it's time to get ready, i throw on my rempe jersey and a short skirt, it reaches above my knees. matt told me once on the phone that he loved this skirt. he saw it on my instagram post from a girls night out about a year ago. it's blue, with two white stripes at the bottom and it matches the jersey perfectly.

i take an uber to the game, arriving just in time for the players family members, partners, and friends, all with passes, to go in. i flash my pass to the security, and he lets me in. i walk up to the VIP booth and say hello to some of the WAGS that i haven't seen in a while. i text matt, letting him know i'm here and i'm in a vip booth.

he texts me to wave at him when he come out on the ice during warmups and that he loves me. when i see him skate out a few minutes later, i raise my hand, waving at him and he waves back at me. i smile and giggle, watching him skate in circles like a ballerina during warmups.

-

after the game, i show my pass to the security once more and they let me into the locker room. i walk over to matt, who's tying his sneakers. "hey there. good job out there." i smile and giggle when he jumps like i scared him.

"hey...holy fuck, thank you." he says, standing and hugging me. "i don't think i've ever played that much. my body hurts so fucking bad..." he kinda leans his weight on me with his arms wrapped around my waist.

i smile and pat his wet hair from the shower he just took, kissing his cheek. "it was well deserved playing time, babe. you played so good." i pull away, kissing his forehead and smiling at him.

i see his eyes rake over my body, eyes wide when he sees my skirt. "that's the one i love so much..." he makes eye contact with me, grinning happily. "god...it looks so fucking good on you...even better in person..." he smirks slightly, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me closer to his body.

"careful big boy..." i whisper, laughing. "we're not alone in here." he nods and rolls his eyes at my words, but still smiling at me. i smile and kiss his lips, leaning close to her ear, "you can take it off of me later, if you want."

i pull away from his ear and look at his now wide eyes. he suddenly pulls away, beginning to pack his things as quickly as possible. i laugh, "matt, honey, what are you doing?"

"i'm packing my things so we can leave." his voice is serious, but my laughs make him break, bursting into laughter too. his teammates look at us weirdly when our loud laughter fills the room. "gotta get that cute little skirt off of you as soon as possible." he smiles at me, grabbing his bags and taking my hand, leading me out of the locker room after saying his goodbyes to his teammates.

matt is never the first player to leave the locker room and arena after a game, especially after a win. but that night, matt had a reason to leave, and it was you. matt scored twice that night, once on the ice, and once with you.

[kedreeva]

on the topic of peafowl play, would/do peafowl enjoy those pet puzzle toys? would they have the patience or interest to complete 1 outside of food motivation? i don't know why but i always imagine peafowl as the brilliant but lazy types and i wonder if that headcanon of mine has any plausibility lol

I gave my peafowl one of those chicken treat puzzles (this one) which they are supposed to peck/scratch at and roll around, which drops scratch grain slowly on the ground and gives them something to do until it is empty. It's basically two yellow bowls bungee-corded together by a single cord on the inside, anchored at that little black nub. You fill one half, and then "seal" it as a ball- but it's not clipped together or anything, just bungee tension holds it together.

I set it down for Aris for the first time, and rolled it so she could see it had scratch in it that would fall out. She pecked it once, examined it for roughly 10 seconds, and then grabbed it by the little black nub, and shook the hell out of it, bursting it open and flinging scratch all over the pen. She dropped it and everyone went about their business eating the scratch.

I taught Eris how to press buttons to "speak" to me; she had a few treat buttons, a food button, a water button, and some Word word buttons like "want" and "Eris" and "yes" and "no." She used them to argue with me and make fun of me for forgetting to put water in her wet food one day.

I gave Bug toilet paper rolls with holes cut in them, stuffed with paper towels and superworms. She learned to pull the paper towel out almost immediately. She gets a bowl of fresh foods when she goes into her pen in the mornings, and it started with me walking in and coaxing or carrying her in. Now she goes and waits on the perch where I put the bowl. I give anything leftover she didn't eat to the barn crew, so when I go to collect her in the evening, Polaris and Opal are usually waiting on the table where I put the bowl.

I bring Artemis indoors to do paintings with her, and she knows the order is indoors->bath->dry off->painting+treats, so if I bring her in, and she gets a bath, and I wait too long in the drying off, she will start scolding me until we start painting.

If I let the birds out of their pens, they get free range time while I'm outside. When I call "hup hup!" loudly and repeatedly, they all start walking back to the coops. Many of them know up commands. Artemis and Bug have both learned to put their trains up if I ask (and that's a no-treat trick, they just do it). Beep knew "ask nicely" when she wanted something (which is what led to me training Eris with the buttons), so she would scrape her beak on me if she wanted something. Beep also played with a lot of different toys.

I guess the point is that they are pretty smart birds, given a chance and good circumstances. They can be incredibly stupid, too, but the majority of them are pretty smart most of the time. But they don't have a lot of patience for things that are not either immediately rewarding or that they choose to focus on. Beep once spent an hour trying to get the button off my jeans, but if you offer Bug a mouse and move it away before she can get it, she'll usually just stop caring. If you give a treat to one bird, they might snub it, but they'll kill a man for it if someone else gets it and acts like it's good.

So COULD they become interested in a pet puzzle and possibly solve one? Maybe? It really just depends on what's in it for them, and/or how interested someone else is, and/or if they think it's their idea. They don't really have a lot of grabbing strength in their beaks, so that factors in, too. They do NOT like to peck hard things.

They DO like to destroy stuff though. If you could make an edible tissue box, they would absolutely lose their shit about it. Every peafowl I've ever owned LOVES tearing tissues out of a tissue box and ripping tissues to shreds to try to eat. Don't know what that's about. Leftover raptor instincts to disembowel things, I guess.