#and don't even get me started on the people who didn't think their breakup was coming

[an-au-blog]

a few days ago i saw a post about sanji cheating on gin with zoro, but I'll be completely honest, I don't think HE would be the one cheating. And this isn't even talking from my being a sanji enjoyer, I just think that if he's not 1000% invested in a relationship with a man, it would never get past a situationship. Not because of some moral high ground, he just doesn't care enough about it all. On the other hand GIN's the type of guy who's both deeply insecure and overly cocky if someone gives him an ounce of attention. (And I'm sorry to say this but,) usually it's the ugly ones that always think they can get away with cheating. (As Billie Eilish said: give an ugly guy a chance and he thinks he owns the world.)

So here's my spin on this love triangle:

Sanji had been courted for a while by Gin. He never saw him more than the occasional fling. But Gin seemed so enamored with Sanji, he was promising him the moon, he would worship him like it would be his last day on earth, he would show an overwhelming love that Sanji never thought he deserved. It made him feel good. And surely enough, after a long pursuit, Sanji found himself catching feelings and agreed to be his boyfriend.

When that happened after that was that two strong emotions were stirred inside Gin as absolute truths. 1. He was on top of the world because, how could he not? He managed to bag the guy that not only hot girls like Viola and O-Some liked, but guys like Ace and Zoro had been eyeing. Which brought him to 2. Most of the people who had tried to flirt with Sanji were a worry, but the worst one yet was Zoro. See, Zoro was not only objective attractive and in love with Sanji, but also one of his inner circle of friends. And even worse: they were quite close.

So when he got so jealous to the point where he sought out comfort on the bottom of a bottle, he felt it was justified. More than that: when he found his way into someone else's bed, it was completely justified. Of course he loved Sanji so SO much but that was exactly why he cheated. He just knew for a fact that Sanji MUST HAVE cheated AT LEAST with Zoro, right? I mean, how could he not? Plus, it wasn't like the cheating incident would happen again, it was a one time slip up. Except that it wasn't a one time slip up. No. Gin never got caught and thought that was some kind of a sign that he must have underestimated himself before. He found himself more confident, and therefore more attractive to some people. The "some people" who ended up in bed with him over and over again.

But like everything finds its end, so did Gin's luck. It was a mess and ugly breakup. Gin denied, pleaded, and screamed in anger. Sanji refused to listen, tried to get out as fast as he could, and ended up kicking Gin's nose in when he started yelling at him.

"It's not like I'm the only cheater here! Yeah, I know you're probably fucking Roronoa on the side, I've seen the way he looks at you-" profanities followed, much too vulgar for me to write, knowing fully how utterly false they all were.

Sanji furrowed his brows. "I never cheated. But now that we're over, I might actually need a friendly shoulder."

Gin was a mox of pale fear and red with rage.

"How does it feel to know you pushed me into his arms?" He didn't wait for an answer before he left.

And when he left, he found himself just where Gin feared he would. He didn't have any actual intentions on going to Zoro but now that Gin said it... the marimo really WAS always there for him, wasn't he? And he was the most loyal and honest man Sanji knew. He was actually convinced that the man couldn't keep a secret or lie to save his life. Sanji needed something real for once.

Before Zoro could ask why angrily crying Sanji was at his door, Sanji asked "Are you in love with me?"

Zoro gaped like a fish out of water before averting his eyes with a sour expression. "Uh... I... damn it curls..."

It was all the answer Sanji needed before he flung himself onto the man. Adorning him with kisses and straddling him midair. Knocking into walls and furniture making their way into the bedroom.

Zoro there Sanji onto the bed, watching him getting undressed. "What... what about Gin."

"We're done."

Zoro found that pride of being a rebound was lacking in the face of being with the man he had been in love with for so long.

Sanji's phone buzzed and pinged with calls, messages and voicemail from the floor, but then again, neither of them heard anything past the noise they were already making.

At some point afterwards, Zoro picked it up and saw the manic messages. He couldn't help but gloat. He sent a picture and captioned it "don't be a sour loser" before blocking him. (Sanji found out but couldn't find it in him to be upset in the slightest.)

[kashverse]

gojo calls you every name but your actual name—sweetheart, baby, pookie bear, sometimes even "oi, babe"—but never your actual name. so when he finally did, when he looked at you dead in the eyes and said it, your whole body stiffened. "are you okay?" you asked immediately, squinting at him like he was on his deathbed. "blink twice if you need help." you even reached out to check his forehead for a fever, because surely, this was a medical emergency. gojo just blinked at you, utterly confused, before doubling over in laughter. "you seriously think i'm unwell just 'cause i said your name? that's so messed up—i love it."

nanami calls you every name but your actual name—dear, love, sometimes just a heavy sigh paired with a side glance. so when he actually did, when his voice dropped and he spoke your name with the weight of a thousand bricks, you felt your stomach sink. "is this a breakup?" you blurted out before he could even continue. nanami blinked at you, his brow twitching. "what?" you crossed your arms. "you're using my actual name," you pointed out. "is this a professional resignation from this relationship?" nanami exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples. "no. i was just asking if you wanted coffee." but the damage was done. you spent the rest of the day side-eyeing him, just in case.

geto calls you every name but your actual name—angel, sunshine, princess, even "chipmunk" when you get on his nerves. so when he finally did, when he said your name with a certain weight, you panicked. "oh my god," you gasped. "you found out, didn't you?"

"found out what?" his eyes narrowed. "the shampoo," you admitted, guilt weighing heavy on your conscience. "i've been using your fancy shampoo. that’s why you keep running out so fast." geto just stared at you, eyes unreadable. then, very slowly, he leaned back, crossed his arms, and nodded. "that explains a lot."

"are you mad?"

"no. just disappointed." ouch.

toji calls you every name but your actual name—doll, sweetheart, brat, depending on his mood. so when he actually did, when he gritted out your name over the phone in the middle of the night, your stomach dropped. "oh my god," you whispered. "are you dying?"

"what?"

"you're out on a job, aren't you? is this a last words kind of call? should i be preparing for the worst?" toji groaned, the sound of gunfire faint in the background. "jesus. i just needed you to grab my extra ammo from the closet."

"oh."

"...but now that you mention it, maybe bring a first aid kit too."

choso calls you every name but your actual name—babe, honey, sometimes just a hum of acknowledgment. so when he actually did, when he uttered your name so carefully, you felt your chest tighten. "you're friendzoning me," you whispered, horror-stricken. "this is the end." choso blinked, his face scrunching up in genuine confusion. "what? no. i was just—"

"it's okay," you sniffed. "you wanted to let me down easy, huh? didn't want to go for the direct breakup."

"babe, i was literally just asking if you wanted extra sauce on your food." but it was too late. you had already started mourning your relationship.

sukuna calls you every name but your actual name—dove, brat, little one, sometimes even "human" when he's particularly irritated. so when he finally did, when his voice wrapped around your name with sharp precision, your survival instincts kicked in immediately. "listen, listen, i didn't do anything," you pleaded, hands raised. "whatever it is, it wasn't me. i swear. please don't kill me." sukuna just stared at you, unimpressed. "i was literally just calling you."

"yeah, exactly," you said, eyes darting for possible escape routes. "why would you use my actual name unless i'm in serious danger? is this a death sentence? am i about to be vaporized?" sukuna rolled his eyes, exhaling sharply. "you're so dramatic."

"says the one who tears people apart for fun!"

[differenteagletragedy]

The thing where you're Price's neighbor -- you move in while he's on leave, and he meets you while you're moving the few belongings you have into your new place. He's good at reading people and can sense that you're sad and broken, despite the tentative smile you give him when you shake his hand.

And it's not like there's some immediate spark. You're pretty, sure, and sometimes he might sneak a little look while he's walking behind you up the stairs when the elevator goes out again, but he's not falling in love.

Not yet, anyway.

It's not until one night, just before he's set to leave again, that he starts to think maybe this could be something. When he begins to toy with the idea that he might let himself feel something real for you.

He hears you crying through his bedroom wall. He's been in your apartment a few times, helping you bring in your groceries, little neighborly things like that, so he knows your home mirrors his own. He can almost imagine you there, laying in your bed, crying over whatever had happened to make you look so small and sorrowful all the time.

It's hard to hear, but he's made a living out of doing things that are too hard for most people. But then he hears one particularly pitiful sob, a little hitch in your breath as you cry, and it's enough for him to pull a pair of jeans on and knock on your door.

You're embarrassed when you answer it, and you try to make it look like you weren't crying, but something in the warm, knowing look in his eyes, the small, tight smile he gives you sets you off again, and before you know it, he's ushering you out of your apartment and into his, guiding you to sit on his couch and moving into the kitchen.

"I'll make you some tea, love," he tells you in his quiet, gruff voice. "You just sit tight."

"John, you don't have to, it's late and --"

He cuts you off with a chuckle, glancing to you from behind the counter as he asks, "You really think you could make me do something I didn't want to do?"

You give in -- of course you couldn't -- and soon he's sitting on the other end of the couch, arms crossed over his broad chest, and he waits. He gives you a choice to talk about it if you want, or to quietly enjoy his company if you don't.

But you're tired, both physically and of feeling this way, and so you unload everything. How you moved here after a rough breakup, your ex was a jerk who didn't want to let go. He'd called you again earlier, which was what had gotten you upset.

And Price listens to all of it. Even as he feels a surge of anger at the thought of someone making you -- sweet, soft little you -- feel that way. He lets you get it all out, and when you're done, he can't help but reach out a hand to give you a light tap on your shoulder.

"Well, pet, I'll tell you what," he says softly. "Next time he calls, you come give the phone to me, yeah?"

It feels protective, the way he says it, like he wants to keep you safe. It's sweet, and it makes you smile. A real smile this time, one that finally meets your eyes.

And there it is -- the moment that John knows he's all in.

You talk for a while longer, more lighthearted conversation that flows easily. It lasts long enough that by the time you leave to go back to your apartment and back to bed, he realizes that it makes more sense to stay awake until it's time to leave.

He's gone for weeks on a mission, and so much of the time, his mind wanders back to you. How that smile lit up your face, and how he wanted nothing more than to bring that smile out as often as he could. He dreams up ways he'll tell you how he feels, plans out different scenarios for how you might react.

It's almost tactical, how much thought he puts into it. But, for better or for worse, he's a man with a plan. And by the time he gets back home, he has what he feels like is a foolproof one.

The plan goes out the window when he knocks on your door and is greeted by a man. A tall, thin man he could break over his knee if he wanted to (and in that moment, he very much wants to).

Price asks for you, nervous for a moment that you'd somehow moved out in the time he was gone and that this man is his new neighbor, but then the man turns and calls out your name, and you walk out from the bedroom.

You won't meet his eyes, and he understands immediately what's going on -- this man is your ex, who seems to have weaseled his way back into your life.

Price clears his throat, looking down at you.

"Just came to check on you, love," he says quietly. "Wanted to let you know I'm back."

You do look at him then, and smile softly at him, but it's not the beautiful, radiant one he'd thought about so often while he was away. No, it's the fake one. It's meaningless, a perfunctory twitch of muscle.

You're broken again.

That simply won't do, will it?

PART TWO -- PART THREE -- PART FOUR

[kinardsevan]

i've kinda kept my mouth shut (outside of the group chat, that is) on Buck's attitude and behavior in 809 on purpose. as a neurodivergent who has certain opinions in the face of Buck and Eddie's relationship that others have already pointed out (Buck's unending loyalty and willing to give while Eddie continues to take without thanks), there's something to be said about having abandonment issues and complex trauma that is being compounded all at once without any reprieve. so i'm gonna spell some shit out.

let's start right at 801, when we literally started the season with Buck running to the roof of the firehouse and his coworkers friends telling him not to jump, but also compounding that statement not with "because we care about you" but instead "because we'd have to clean you off the sidewalk". there's been discussion in the fandom before about Evan's passive suicidality and all that plays into that, but it's an important launching point for where we're at now, as far as I'm concerned.

then you get into the meat of the season. it's never exactly easy for him: first there's Gerrard and the complications of that relationship, then there's the issues of the boils/his health, then the breakup. then we waltz right into Eddie announcing he's leaving town to go be with his son, and suddenly we're arriving at a point in time that, in terms of "time" on the show, is probably only about a yearish out from him surviving being struck by lightning. that's also a major trauma to deal with, that we didn't really ever see fully resolved, and now we're about to add the kidnapping of his sister (and the possibility, however remote, that she miscarries due to her kidnapping? this has just been suggested in the group chat, but anything is possible).

i've seen the commentary that he needs to get over himself, that he was selfish for what he did to Eddie, that he needs therapy, etc. but here's the thing:

you can do decades of therapy and still be emotionally dysregulated in times of heightened stress. let's also add that in the midst of everything that was changing in Evan's life over the past year(ish), his one constant that he could rely on, was the relationship he was in. it was a relationship that--as many have pointed out--was the first time he was put first, was treated as though his feelings mattered, and he (as I assume we'll see come to pass canonically) likely felt seen. Tommy didn't pander to him, but he also didn't shut Evan's feelings down. I imagine in the face of dealing with Gerrard, his disloated shoulder (and the boils), Bobby's NDE and subsequent shift from being in charge the 118, Tommy was a stabilizing force for him. he got to go home and have someone who cared to hear about his ails.

so here we are months later, when all of his friends are back on even ground from the shit they all were going through previously (which he showed up for each and every one of them with, by the way), and he's sinking. he's struggling against the current of loss, after loss, after loss. and i'm sure somewhere in there (as someone who hsa gone to therapy), that for a while, he told himself to just go parallel to the current, and eventually he'd make it out. but I think we're also seeing at this point that he's caught up in a riptide. we know he's not doing okay losing Tommy ("I don't feel anywhere near recovered"/"I almost relapsed, I almost called Tommy"/"don't go leaving your people, you don't know how hard it is for them without you"), and now his best friend (who he's bent over backwards for many times in the last seven years, even in the face of being told he's exhausting and selfish) is leaving town. something that's baffling to me in the midst of Eddie's choice to leave too, is this: it's supposed to be a noble choice. he's supposed to be after this big pursuit to fix things with Chris and be a part of his life, and all that comes with that. I can understand not mentioning anything until he'd secured a place to live, however, once he had....why wasn't there a talk with Bobby, at the very least? why keep the secret of "i'm still figuring out how to leave here". wouldn't by the very nature of the fact that you're planning to leave and not return, you want to make that transition as smooth as possible??? wouldn't it make more sense to clue your friends in that you need a subletter, that your job will be vacant soon and your team is going to need someone to step in and fill that slot? it's not like these people are going to call down to El Paso and tell your family that you're on your way. and ALL of this is long before we get into the discussion of how he tells potential subletters that he has no ties to LA and that the real opportunities are in Texas. sure, we can continue to make the argument that Eddie didn't know Evan could hear what he was saying, and that he likely was only thinking of the future move at the time....

but also, as someone who can relate to the RSD, to the complex trauma and abandonment issues...it's NOT about that. Evan's reaction to Eddie's statement makes total sense to me because time and time again, I have voiced a need that sometimes, in the depths of feeling like I'm drowning in the deep waters, all I've ever wanted (and all I can assume Evan wants), is a little fucking recognition. he's not asking for Eddie to stay, and he states as much. he's not even asking for his people to put him first. all he's asking for is for his pain to be seen and recognized. to feel as though the people he loves, who bends over backwards to keep happy and from leaving, recognize when he's in pain. and yet.

it's why i have such a strong belief about where this story is going in terms of his mental health. you can only continue to lose, lose, lose so much, and sink under the weight of all of that before something breaks. and we can have arguments about how he needs more therapy, or how he needs to grow up, or this and that... but at the end of the day, you can do all of those things and still end up in the position he is. I made the argumentt to the group chat the other night that even under the contention that I'm likely more emotionally mature than Buck is, I'd still (and in fact have) reacted in similar ways to how he did. it's very easy to sit back and point fingers until you're faced with the same situation and all you're looking for is a little support, and everyone keeps shutting you down.

it's why my bucketlist hopes for the rest of the season see him going to the lengths of choosing selfishness if when he and Tommy get back together. it's that same vein that has me wanting to see a parallel to Maddie's s4 ending for him with his mental health, except I want Tommy telling him that they'll figure it out together. I want him finally getting to have someone in his corner when all the chips are down. obviously time will only tell if we get that, but we'll see.

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[alchemistc]

Buck's halfway through his third cup of startlingly bad coffee when Josh pushes the door to the breakroom open, looking mildly concerned in the half second before someone else looms over his shoulder.

He's too numb to do much more than take another sip of coffee as he watches Josh usher Tommy in.

The door clicks shut behind him. Buck wonders for a moment if Tommy's ever actually been to the new dispatch headquarters before. If he ever went to the old one, charming grin on his face while he waited for Abby to finish up so he could take her out, drive her home while her car was in the shop - but no, Tommy would have worked on it himself, maybe.

Had Josh recognized him, that first time, with half of his soot on Buck's face, and just never said anything?

The silence is tense. They're in a fishbowl, no room to lash out even if either of them wanted to because more than half the people working in this place can see them if they just tip their head to the side.

"How can I help?"

It's - his voice is strained, scared, worried. Buck doesn't have a single guess as to how he knows. Maybe Bobby. It's the only person he can think of who would have -.

Buck snorts. "I rebounded with a serial killer who just kidnapped my sister and my baby niece or nephew. I don't - I'm not sure what you want."

He glances up just in time to see the end of Tommy's grimace. Good. He's not sure how much more disastrous of a choice he could have made to try to get Tommy out of his system, but at least it hurts him to know. At least...

"Do you want me to go?"

Buck can't remember anyone asking, before. Usually they just... leave. Get up, walk out, disappear. Tommy bubbled Buck five times in three months. Buck went through seven bags of flour before he drove Eddie to the airport.

His voice shakes on his "No," and Tommy is there, all of the sudden, his hand hovering just over Buck's shoulder, like he realized halfway there it might not be welcome. "Do you still think I need to keep looking for someone better than you?"

It'd been seeing Tommy out with a guy that'd prompted him to stop fucking baking and make an effort to just...get over it But with Eddie away, and the rest of the 118 so wrapped up in their lives, there weren't a whole lot of outlets for that. And it's been easy to willfully misinterpret Tommy's breakup speech. Or - interpret it in the most hurtful way possible.

"Is this what you want to do right now?" Tommy asks, even and measured. "Will this help?"

"I want my sister back!"

Tommy takes a step back. His hands shift to his pockets, and Buck just wants -

"Why are you here?"

He tips his head up. Holds Tommy's gaze. Tommy flounders in a way Buck's never seen before.

He looks - tired. Good. White Henley under a flannel Buck had always told him brought out his eyes. The jeans Buck had stolen once or twice because they made his ass look good. His hair's grown in at the sides, and the sprinkling of greys are more obvious than the last time he'd seen it this length.

"I just... didn't want you to be alone."

Tears threaten at the corners of his eyes. He wants to laugh, but he's terrified if he starts he won't be able to hold in the fear. "When did that change?"

Tommy gnaws on his cheek. "You have so many people, Buck. You have -."

"I don't want emotional repression Tommy here, so if you're just here to keep me distracted until someone else can be here you should just... go."

Something flashes in his gaze. Anger, maybe. Terror.

"Please let me stay."

It hurts, to hear it. It hurts to hear the trepidation in his voice as he says it. Buck just wants to pull him in, tuck his face into the curve of his neck, soak in the warmth of his arms.

Buck spends too long staring at his knees. Long enough for Tommy to shift, to sigh, to nod his head decisively out of the corner of Buck's eye.

The word is stuck in his throat. Has been for months, since Tommy looked at him with teary eyes and walked away.

"I won't be able to let you go again."

He's already half turned away. Buck can only see half his expression as his eyes dip closed. He swallows. Nods, again.

Buck can't watch him push back through that door, so he stares at the toes of his boots until his vision starts to blur.

A second pair of toes swim into his eyeline. A hand shifts through his curls, snagging on knots, digging towards his scalp, and he can't quite bite back the sob. The arms that reach for him are warm, big and familiar, and Buck gives himself over to the panic and the fear that have been clawing at his chest for hours now. Tommy says something - whispers it into the air above Buck's head over and over, but Buck can't - he just -

He presses his face into Tommy's stomach, digs his fingers into the back of his shirt, sucks in horrible, gasping breaths. It's not enough. Nothing will be until he's got Maddie in his arms.

But it's more than he had an hour ago.

"Stay," he manages, and Tommy's fingers curl around Buck's neck and hold.

[archangeldyke-all]

Idk if this got eaten or missed, but I had an idea of "modern sweetheart reader gets ghosted by her flakey gf (now very much ex), goes to a lounge to process and unwind, and has a meet-cute/hookup with Sevika."

Bonus points if Sevika gets to be smug about how well she takes care of reader 🤭

-🌙

aweee i feel like all u guys are going thru something right now haha this is the second ask i got about a recent break up :( hope this helps you feel a little better <33

heyyyyyyyy… how yall doin….. anyway how do we feel about sevika comforting you after a particularly bad break up and maybe she’s super sweet and you realize you love her idk just a thought *passes out*

men and minors dni

after countless nights falling asleep dreaming about your future with your girlfr-- ex-girlfriend, now; after endless dates, phone calls, and movie nights; after all the 'i love you's and 'you're my girl's... she's dumped you.

she didn't even have the decency to tell you she was dumping you. instead, she ghosts you.

she was never the best at communication and commitment, and sure, in the back of your mind you knew it likely wouldn't last... but that doesn't make this sting any less.

you've spent a week moping and feeling miserable, and tonight, you've decided you've had enough.

if your ex can't see what she's missing out on-- that's not your fucking problem. you aren't going to waste away a perfectly good friday night wishing she felt differently.

you've put on your best outfit, spritzed yourself with your favorite fragrance, and now, you're going to your favorite bar. you're going to dance until you forget about women all together.

well, that's your plan.

it turns out breakup grief can catch up to you even three drinks deep on the dance floor.

the dj switches from something fast and mindless to something slow and sexy. couples start grinding against each other, and you're hit with a wall of loneliness.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

you stumble out of the bar and into the street, trying to keep your tears from falling as you push through the crowds. just when you think you're home free, you trip and fall right into a woman smoking against the front wall of the bar.

"fuck-- fuck, i'm sorry." you whimper, your tears finally falling freely.

"shit, are you alright?" you blink up from your feet and sob. of course you've bumped into an angel when you're in such a pathetic state. "are you hurt?" the woman asks as she gently pulls you out of the foot traffic on the sidewalk, under the awning of the front of the bar.

"'m okay." you mumble. "'m so sorry, i just-- rough night." you explain as you swipe your face.

the woman frowns at you. "somebody bothering you?" she asks.

you snort and shrug. "no, no. more like somebody's not bothering me."

the woman chuckles. "bad breakup?"

"i wish. she didn't even give me the chance to make it bad." you mumble.

she cringes. "y' got ghosted?" you nod. "damn. people are fuckin' idiots. who in their right mind would ghost you?"

you snort. "you don't even know me."

the woman gives you a long look up and down, and you feel heat curl in your stomach. "i know a catch when i see one." she says eventually.

you bite your lip. "and what's your name, charmer?" you ask. the woman chuckles and holds a hand out for you to shake.

"sevika." she introduces herself, giving you a firm shake. you give her your own name. she doesn't drop your hand. "y'know... i've never seen you around before."

you shrug. "my ex didn't like to dance."

"your ex sounds like a fuckin' asshole. why are you cryin' over them?"

you shrug again, a little more unsure this time. "i guess i'm just... lonely."

sevika giggles and squeezes your hand. "well, that's easy to fix. come dance with me." she suggests, tugging you back toward the bar. you blink.

"a-are you serious?" you ask.

sevika shrugs. "it's not every day a beautiful girl runs crying into my arms." she says. "thought i'd take a chance."

you laugh. "you do realize you're the most beautiful person in this entire building, right?" you ask. sevika cackles, squeezing your hand again and pulling you toward the dancefloor.

kofi

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @vkumi @fict1onallyobsessed @dvrkhcld @sweetybuzz25

@sluttysierraaa @snake-in-a-flower-crown @ruiwonderz @littlemisszaunite @biblicalcrybaby

@blackgaladriel @nightlyconfusion @dancingqu33n17 @losernb @p1nkearth

taglist!!

@sevikas-baby @ghostscandys @sevikasllver @runawaybaby3 @lesbones

@chezze-its @lez-zuha @vikashoneybee @shanesevikasfuckdoll @imheadintothemountains

@nanajustnana-a @helaenabugmom @spookymomfriendtm @leeidk87

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR FAKE DATING & GOING UNDERCOVER *  assorted dialogue for muses going undercover as a couple and having to maintain the illusion that they're dating, and all the chaos, feelings, and whatnot that come with it, suggested by dollhidden, adjust as necessary, send "reverse" for the reversal of action prompts

DIALOGUE PROMPTS

come on. at least pretend that you like me.

if we hold hands, that'll sell the illusion even more.

what petnames do you think we'd use if we were actually dating?

please don't make this too difficult on me.

stop letting go of my hand.

you're going to pay for this later.

that was way too close of a call.

[petname]? that's what we're going with?

could you at least look like you like me for an hour? is that so hard?

admit it. i'm not half bad.

didn't think i would enjoy this as much as i am.

did you take acting classes growing up?

excuse me! i'm just trying to sell the illusion!

do you think they bought it?

you don't look like you love me. you look like you're constipated.

way to lay it on thick. i think you might have done too good of a job.

pretend to laugh at one of my jokes.

i guess i didn't expect you to dress up for this. i'm impressed.

you know, if you treated me like that on the regular, i might actually start falling in love with you.

they have to believe we're together. how hard can it be?

quick, pretend like you're about to kiss me.

you clearly care more about the tiny appetizers than you do me.

i'm just here for the free champagne.

you clean up nice.

that honestly wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

they're looking over here. quick, say something funny.

that... was surprisingly smooth of you.

you don't date much, do you?

we should pretend to date more often.

hey! my eyes are up here!

shit, they're coming. kiss me.

ACTION PROMPTS all of these are written as if both parties are fake dating and going undercover at some specified event, but feel free to add your own scenarios if you'd like!

[ hand ] sender quickly takes receiver's hand in public to avoid getting caught

[ waist ] sender quickly slides an arm around receiver's waist in public to avoid getting caught

[ propose ] sender stages a dramatic fake proposal to further sell their relationship to the crowd, catching receiver completely off guard

[ fake fight ] sender and receiver stage a coordinated fake fight/messy breakup in front of the crowd

[ kiss ] realizing they need to sell their relationship to an important person/people, sender and receiver kiss for the first time

[ coat ] noticing receiver is cold, sender gives them their coat

[ entrance ] sender and receiver approach the entrance of the secret event and discuss their plans for selling their fake relationship to the crowd

[ slip away ] sender slips away from receiver in order to take a break from pretending, and receiver goes to find them

[ off limits ] sender and receiver are exploring an off limit portion of the event space, get caught, and are forced to try to explain how they got lost

[ the big kiss ] to conceal the fact that they're exploring an off limit portion of the event space, sender kisses receiver dramatically once they're caught

[ introduce ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to a very important (and potentially dangerous) person at this event

[ family ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to their family, who just so happens to also be at the event

[ lost ] sender loses receiver in the crowd and rushes to relocate them before their cover is blown

[ flirt ] when someone else shows interest in receiver, sender steps in and makes it clear they're "taken"

[ exit ] sender and receiver have successfully accomplished their goal, and now must sneak out of the event as covertly as possible

[ spill ] sender accidentally spills their drink on receiver and rushes them to the restroom to clean them up

[ private ] in a brief moment of privacy between the two fake daters, sender admits to receiver that they don't think receiver is as bad as they thought

[littlelovelunette]

How do you feel about Pitfigher Vi x Medic Reader? (may or may not have blue hair in locs)

I don't know so much about the blue hair it feels like you're trying to put CaitVi on me :')

Binding

Pitfighter!Vi x Medic!Reader

"You're an idiot," you snapped seeing Vi enter your chamber. You weren't officially a doctor, of course, who was in Zaun?

But you did your best to help the people with what you knew. And Vi was a regular to say the least. She always had one issue or another.

She was a pitfighter. You knew it.

But you didn't support it.

You sighed and opened the door further to let her come inside.

"Thanks for the greeting, doc," Vi sat down with a groan, you could see the blood dripping from her chest bindings, some her own and some others'.

Vi sat down with a groan.

"Just patch me up, I wanna go home."

"So, you can intoxicate yourself in more alcohol?" You asked, taking your medical kit out of the cabinet. Vi gave you a look.

"I'm just saying!"

You started working on her wounds, applying some ointment on the bruises and bandaging the cuts, "You have to stop being so reckless," you said, pressing on a particularly deep wound.

"Hey, that stings," Vi jerked a little.

"Well, don't go around getting them, maybe?" You rolled your eyes as you made the remark.

"You need new chest bindings," you said getting up.

"They're fine," Vi said glancing down at her blood soaked and grime covered chest bindings.

"That's disgusting and reeks of blood," you said with an exaggerated scrunch of your nose.

"Are you always this much reproachful with all your other patients?" Vi asked, crossing her arms.

You looked away, not answering her as you took out some bandages to help her do her chest bindings.

Vi seemed to be waiting for your answer though.

"Keep the silence up and I'd start thinking you're a little... Fond of me," Vi smirked.

"Shut it," you grumbled, reaching to undo her chest bindings. Yeah, you'd seen her naked. You didn't care about neither did she.

Vi assumed you've seen a lot of your patients naked before so it probably wasn't a big deal for you.

It was true, but you only wished your other patients had been so muscular, jocked up and hot as her. You tried to keep it professional with Vi however, no matter how hot you thought she was. She was absolutely fine, head to toe.

Your hands worked efficiently undoing the chest binding to let her breasts breathe. "You should take a shower," you said walking away to grab a clean towel for her.

Your fingers brushed against hers only slightly when you handed her the fuzzy white towel which she took with a grateful nod.

"Show me to the bathroom?" Vi got up, swinging the towel over her shoulder as she followed you out of the cheap infirmary, and to a strangely pretty yet minimalistic bathroom.

"I'll leave some clothes out here for you, okay?" You smiled softly.

"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks."

"Don't sweat it," you said.

"It's pretty nice actually, how do you even pay rent for all this and your apartment?" Vi asked, stepping in the shower room and examining the toiletries.

"Yeah, well, it's a breeze really when you're so focused and hell bent on fixing every little injury Zaunites sustain," you chuckled.

"Thank you for your service," Vi mock bowed.

You rolled your eyes, "Enjoy the shower," you closed the door behind yourself.

"Will do!" Vi called back.

As you walked down the hall, you could hear the sound of the shower running. You were happy Vi had this one place after her brutal breakup with Caitlyn. She could always count on you for staying over, getting patched up, a nice warm shower and a meal worth eating. You were happy to provide and never expected anything else in return.

As you put your medical supplies away, you heard soft footsteps and you knew it was Vi, she smelled fresher, you could say just by taking a look at her. Water dripped down her fiery reddish hair making you sigh with a shake of your head.

"No one taught you to dry your hair?" You walked upto her, grabbing the towel and using it to dry her hair, a little roughly than intended but Vi was used to it so she didn't exactly complain.

Vi liked being cared for.

"Tell me, birdie," Vi sat down, "Why do you care so much whether I live or die in this hellhole?"

"What do you mean?" You put the damp towel on your lap, not caring as it soaked your dress. You sat down beside her.

"Well, I haven't had a lot of people care for me in the past," she shrugged, "So it feels as if you want something from me now that someone does show they care."

You didn't say anything and looked at your lap, you hadn't really thought about it that way, ever since your little sister died from Sepsis at a young age, you'd been very isolated. And solidarity gave you a lot of time to think about the way Zaunite children suffered solely due to the political disputes. They didn't choose the land they were born on, same way they shouldn't have to suffer but why did they?

Your little sister's death had contributed to your current profession and you had buried that part of your past so deep down that now that Vi brought it up, it felt raw. Unhealed.

"I guess I didn't realise," you said, your voice a faint whisper, "I didn't realise along the way I didn't lose a lot like most others did. I only lost my sister and that made me lose a part of myself and I've been desperately seeking validation unknowingly by helping others."

You stopped speaking, Vi's blue-eyed gaze on you wasnt firm and wary like usual instead it was soft and mixed with understandable concern. Her hand rested on top of your, she knew all too well the pain of losing a younger sister. Although, Jinx wasn't dead yet, there was an unbelievable amount of madness circulating in her brain that now Vi blamed herself for.

"And I've been trying to piece myself together by doing what I do, and I'm unsure if it's a healthy coping mechanism," you looked up at Vi, "I don't want anyone to have to worry about seeking proper, affordable medical help ever again in Zaun."

Vi nodded, eyebrows curling up slightly as she pulled you closer in a side embrace.

"Even if that be a nine-year-old older sister just trying to save her dying younger one," you blinked and a few warm tears tricked down your cheeks.

"Oh, dear," Vi pulled you in for a hug.

You both remained in that position for quite a while and that mattered only in that time. Her hug was surprisingly warm and well practised. You could've gotten used to the feeling. But then Vi shifted, her hand placing on your back.

"I'm here for you now, okay?"

"Mhm," you shifted closer, "Thanks."

After a while when the tension in the air had subsided, you got up slowly and wiped your tears away. You were ready to help Vi do her chest bindings now, you had to be. Other patients would be coming in any second.

"Let's do those chest bindings, yeah?" You grabbed the fresh bandages and Vi nodded, taking the shirt she'd put on temporarily off, letting you help her.

A few days passed since you had your mini breakdown in front of Vi and to be fair, it only bonded the both of you over similar trauma. One of your busy days at the infirmary, when you were moving supply boxes you came across a card that was left at your place by Vi, it was small and scrappy and the words read 'Whenever you get to this, meet me at my place? 6 pm is fine.' You smiled mentally seeing the card and quickly pocketed it so you could aid to your patients.

Upon arrival at her doorstep, you were a little nervous. Vi had never really seen you out of your white apron, and this was a first time. You dressed up a little for Vi even, and did your hair. A girl can fantasize.

"Well, look who it is," Vi smiled, opening the door, "Looking gorgeous as always, doc."

"Oh, thanks for the flattery," you let Vi kiss your hand dramatically and lead you inside.

"What's with the note card? You couldn't tell me you wanted me to come over at yours in person?" You sat down on the couch.

"Nah, I prefer old school."

Her apartment seemed cleaner than the last time you'd helped her back there after you had patched her up. There were no more booze bottles laying all over the floor, and it didn't smell like someone died and was left to rot there.

It was actually humane.

Seeing Vi cleaned up moved something in you and you felt proud of her. She had managed to put the Caitlyn breakup behind herself and finally get a move. You were thrilled for her, you were so proud.

As you watched Vi taking a seat beside you, you could tell she knew exactly what was on your mind. Vi took a look of her own apartment and then looked back at you.

"Not gonna say you're proud of me? I know you're dying to say it," Vi raised a brow.

"And you're as cocky as ever," you giggled.

"Hey, that's just my charm!" Vi said in mock offense.

"Yes, I am proud of how you turned things around," you said with a genuine smile which Vi returned.

"I didn't just call you over to make you say that," Vi said, taking your hand in both of hers.

"These past few days have been pretty nice, with you always being at my aid and bandaging my bruised ass up, I've realised you're one of the few people who genuinely care and don't want advantage from me," Vi said, looking at her floor, the golden lights for the room flickering in reflection in her blue eyes, "It's hard to find people who're true to me, I guess, and you just happen to be one of them."

"Vi," you whispered, staring at her.

You knew what she would say, and you were bracing yourself for her to say it. You didn't know how you'd react, you just needed her to throw the words there.

"I am in love with you, doc."

Vi exhaled deeply, "It's been there for so long."

"Why didn't you say anything?" You asked, sitting straighter.

"Didn't wanna screw out friendship up," she mumbled, her grip on your hand loosening, "Do you... Feel the same way?"

The words rised in your throat but didn't really come out, your lips parted and then closed again. You were unable to say anything because of the happy tears building in your eyes. So instead of saying anything, you leaned in and kissed her.

At first, the kiss was soft and innocent before Vi grabbed your waist, pulling you closer against her own frame. With your body pressed flush against hers, the kiss turned into something else completely, her tongue dominated your mouth easily as if she'd been doing this for a living. Her hand on your waist was tight but not painfully tight, just enough to ground you to reality.

You both parted and you whispered, "I love you," and went back at it again.

Let's just say, that's how you both spent the evening.

[firewasabeast]

tags: violence (gay bashing), homophobic slurs, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, healing, heading toward getting back together, happy-enough ending

(ao3 link or read below)

Like Fine China

“Hey, I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay? You hear me? Try to keep your eyes open.”

He recognized that voice. The last time he'd heard it was just a few weeks ago, at the hospital. Who was it for though? Why was he at the hospital that time?

His brain felt like a jumbled mess. His body felt even worse.

He just wanted to sleep.

“Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?”

Athena! That's who was speaking to him.

He opened his mouth, cracked one eye open. God, it hurt!

“I- I'm,” the words felt foreign as they escaped him. His voice didn't sound like his own. His mouth was dry, and held a bad taste.

Whiskey and... and metal.

Blood.

“Tommy, paramedics are on their way, okay? I just need you to stay with me until they get here.”

It was dark, but something was shining bright in his face.

“Flash... Flashlight,” he managed to get out, squeezing his eye back shut.

“Eyes- Eye open, Tommy. I'll get the flashlight out of your face, but I need to know you're with me.”

Wait. Had she said paramedics? They couldn't. He couldn't let them- let him see.

“No, no, no,” he mumbled out, shaking his head a couple times until a sharp pain shot through it. “No, h- he can't. I don't-”

“They're not on shift, Tommy.”

He tried to push himself up, away from where she hovered over him. He didn't manage to get very far before she placed a hand on his chest.

“Tommy, you cannot get up. I need you to stay still, and stay conscious. Those two things are your only jobs. You hear me?”

“I can't,” his words were so garbled. He coughed up the blood that'd been dripping down his throat.

I can't let him see.”

“Listen to me, Tommy!” Athena exclaimed, getting right in Tommy's face. He could barely see her, but he could feel her breath on his face. “They're not coming. Buck isn't coming; it'll be someone else.”

In the distance, he heard the sound of sirens. He didn't feel relief. Didn't feel much of anything at all. He was fading, fast. It took all his energy to force out one last sentence before he lost consciousness. “Don't... Don't tell him.”

*****

He just wanted to go out for a drink. Something a little stronger than craft beer.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Evan- no, Buck. He was Buck now.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Buck and the ache in his chest felt the same way it did the second he walked out of the loft.

He'd thought he was saving himself from future heartbreak, and maybe he was, but it didn't quite make it hurt any less.

Georgie's wasn't exactly a gay bar, but Georgie was gay and the bar itself became a sort of unofficial hang out for older people in the lgbtq+ community. No loud music and everyone left each other alone. A perfect place to decompress while still allowing yourself to be free.

After a couple of whiskey sours, and yeah, a pitcher of craft beer, Tommy was ready to go.

He waited outside, near the alleyway, for his Uber. He found himself going to his messages, hovering over Evan's name. He hadn't had the heart to change it to Buck yet.

He'd been wanting to text him since the breakup. Talk about it some more. Actually give a reason for why it- why he- fell apart so fast. How Buck's words triggered some terrible memories for him. How he suddenly realized there was no way he could be everything he thought Buck needed. Everything Buck deserved. Not to mention they hadn't even exchanged I love you's. And it was insane to think all of Tommy's things could fit in Buck's loft. Buck's things could fit in his house so much easier!

He clicked on Evan's name, started to type something out, erased it, started again, erased it again.

He was usually so aware of his surroundings. His time in the military did that to him. It did a lot of things to him actually, many of which he wasn't very thankful for. However, he prided himself on not being oblivious.

Tonight he was oblivious.

He didn't expect five men to jump him at once. He was a strong guy. Had taken on three men about fifteen years earlier. Did it with ease too.

But not five men. Not when one had a bat, and one had brass knuckles, and one was at least 6'5 and three hundred pounds. Not when they dragged him to the ground and into the alley before he had a chance to react. Screaming slurs at him as they took turns using his body as a punching bag.

He tried to fight. At one point, he was sure he kicked one of the guy's in the face. Heard him yell something like, “The fag broke my tooth!”

It only made things worse.

He wasn't sure when he first lost consciousness, but he knew they were still on top of him. Still laughing as they hit and kicked. He heard the sounds of someone spitting at some point. Felt wet on his face.

Then there was nothing.

Until someone stepped out from somewhere, and maybe they heard him groan? Maybe it was his Uber driver wondering where he was? Maybe it was an employee taking out the trash? He wasn't sure. He could barely hear someone telling him they were calling the police. There was a ringing in his ears, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Someone said something about wheezing, barely breathing. He wondered what that was about.

Then there was Athena. Then nothing again.

*****

The next time Tommy opened his eyes, he was in a dimly lit hospital room. He was confused. Could barely see out of one eye and everything was blurry out of the other.

His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and maybe some tiny humans hitting his brain with hammers.

“Are you... awake awake or not really awake?”

The sound of a man's voice startled him. He couldn't hardly move, but he was able to focus his eyes across the room at the figure in the corner.

“Ed- Eddie?”

God, his voice sounded weird. Why did it sound like that? Like he'd spent the last 30 years smoking a pack a day.

“Yeah, I'm here.”

He sounded hesitant. Maybe they'd had this conversation before? If they had, Tommy certainly didn't remember it.

“Wha- Why?”

Eddie stepped closer. “You're in the hospital, Man.”

Tommy wanted to roll his eyes. No duh.

He settled for clearing his throat, which turned into a burning sensation running down his chest. “Why're you... here?” he tried. Hoped Eddie understood that much.

“Tommy-”

“I t- told Athena-” he had to pause to take a breath. “Told her not to tell.”

“Actually, you told Athena not to tell him. And she assumed, correctly, I'm sure, that him was Buck. So she called me instead.”

Tommy closed his eyes. “Why?”

“Why'd she call me? Oh, maybe because you don't have anyone listed as an emergency contact and you were nearly beat to death so she figured you might need someone to be here when you woke up.”

Tommy's jaw clenched at Eddie's harsh words.

Nearly beat to death.

He was nearly beat to death.

Eddie either noticed Tommy's heart rate going up on the monitor, or his eyes filling with tears, because he was right beside his bed in two strides. “Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, I- I'm kinda pissed, Man.”

“S'okay,” Tommy replied, swallowing hard. “I deserve it.”

Eddie looked taken aback. “No, I'm not- Tommy, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this,” he said, gesturing over Tommy's body. “I've never seen...” Eddie's voice trailed off and, through Tommy's own blurry vision, he could see that Eddie was close to crying.

“What'd they do to me?” Tommy asked, barely able to take in all his injuries. His entire body hurt, no part any worse or less than the other. He could feel something on every limb, but he couldn't quite move his head around enough to see what it was.

Eddie took a deep breath. He wiped at his eyes with his fingers, sniffling before getting started. “You've got bruising on about seventy-five percent of your body. You had surgery for a busted kneecap on your right knee. Your left arm has a fracture, and your right one has thirty stitches, I think. They broke a few ribs, so it's gonna hurt like hell when you take a deep breath or cough. Um, you had some internal bleeding, but they got that under control pretty fast. You've got a fracture in your cheek, which may cause some extra pain when you talk. You've got a few broken fingers too, and lost a couple fingernails during your- when you were defending yourself.”

“Hm,” Tommy hummed once Eddie was done. “S'that all?”

Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I'm sure I missed a couple things, actually, jackass.”

Tommy let out a laugh, which quickly turned into a groan. “Thanks for coming, Eddie,” he said, trying and failing at moving himself into a slightly more comfortable position. “You don't have to stay though. I'll be fine.”

Eddie stared at him incredulously. “You're kidding me.”

Tommy shifted his eyes back in Eddie's direction. “No, I- I'll be okay. I've got it. Just,” he paused to take a breath, “don't let Buck know, please.”

Eddie raised a finger toward Tommy. “Well, see, about that. You only told Athena not to tell him before, and-”

“You didn't.”

“-and see he was already at my place when I got the call, so-”

“Please tell me you didn't.”

“I have one with cream and one with sugar and- Oh my God, you're awake!” The sound of Buck's voice had Tommy's head twisting toward the door so quickly that a pain shot from the bottom of his back all the way to the top of his head. “Ow!” he yelped, clenching his teeth and tossing his head against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh my God. Has the nurse come in yet? Have they checked his vitals? Eddie, you said he'd be out for a while! Tommy, do you feel any nausea? Do you remember who we are? The nurses said you might have-”

“Buck!” Eddie exclaimed. “Stop. He's okay.” He glanced over at Tommy, “I did forget to mention the head trauma.”

Tommy groaned, giving him a glare.

Eddie walked over to Buck and took the drink carrier from his hands. “I'll go find a nurse, you stay with him.”

Tommy wanted to yell out to Eddie to please not go, and also screw you, and maybe throw a couple hand gestures in there too. He stayed silent instead.

Buck looked Tommy up and down, hesitating slightly before walking up to the side of the bed. “So, you're-”

“I want to see myself,” Tommy blurted.

“Oh, um, I... Tommy, I don't. It might be better to wait.”

Tommy managed to move his head enough to look up at Buck. He could see the fear- no, the panic- in Buck's eyes.

“I wanna see," he repeated.

“Tommy-”

“Buck!” It took a lot of strength to get his name out so forcefully, and he didn't quite mean it to sound as angry as it did, but this wasn't Buck's decision. It was his. And he wanted to see what he looked like.

Buck pulled his phone from his back pocket, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled up the camera.

Slowly, he lifted the phone up to Tommy's face.

The second it registered that he was looking at himself, Tommy sucked in a breath. He grimaced as pain radiated through his chest but, when Buck went to move the camera away he stopped him. “No,” he said. “Just. Just wait.”

He knew his eyes were swollen by how out of focus his vision was, but he had no idea just how bad they looked. The right was worse than the left, but both were an angry mixture of black, purple, and green. The bruise on the left side of his face ran down his cheek to his jaw, circling underneath his chin like a half moon and fading into his facial hair. There were marks on his neck. Looked like someone's hand. He could understand Eddie's hesitancy on mentioning that. He didn't remember anyone gripping him there, which was probably for the best.

His forehead had more bruises, and cuts too. There was dried blood at his hairline, some stitched up cuts. His curly hair was nearly matted to his head, his scalp a brutal crimson.

“I tried to wash the blood out of your hair with a washcloth,” Buck explained anxiously, “but you have some lacerations on your scalp and I didn't want to bother them until they healed a little more.”

It was all so overwhelming. There was a whirring sound in his ears that made him feel dizzy. His eyes burned as they filled with tears that he didn't have the strength to wipe away.

“Okay,” he said, his voice uneven. He cleared his throat. “Can you- You can go, please. I don't... You can go.”

“Tommy-”

“Ev- Buck, I'm awake, I'm fine, I don't need anyone here.” He stared straight ahead, unable to look Buck in the eyes. “Please.”

“No.”

Tommy really didn't feel like dealing with stubborn Evan right now. “I don't-”

“I don't really care, Tommy. I'm not leaving you here. I've been at this damn hospital for three days now and I'm staying until you go home. I don't care what-”

He was cut off by the sound of footsteps behind him.

“Got the nurse,” Eddie said, an awkward smile on his face. The nurse, to her credit, ignored all the tension in the room.

“Let me get some hand sanitizer and gloves and I'll be right with you, Mr. Kinard.”

Buck sighed. He stepped even closer to Tommy. “I'm gonna go into the hall long enough for the nurse to check you out,” he said, maneuvering himself until he was halfway leaning over the bed, his arm on the other side of Tommy to prop himself up as he forced him to make eye contact. “I will be back in a few minutes. You have people who care about you, Tommy, whether you like it or not.”

With that said, Buck stood back up and left the room.

*****

Tommy spent a few more days in the hospital before he was released. There were only two times that Buck left long enough to get a shower and get a little rest in a real bed. Both of those times, he made sure Eddie was there the entire time.

Athena had come in to get his statement. Asked him all sorts of questions, most of which Tommy couldn't answer. He hadn't really gotten a good look at them. Only had very basic descriptions. He remembered the slurs they had hurled at him, knew they attacked because he was gay. He couldn't really figure out how they knew though. Besides being outside of that bar, it wasn't like Tommy ever did anything that screamed gay. Not that it mattered.

She'd been honest with him. There were no cameras at that part of the street, or in the alleyway. No one got a good description of the attackers, and the person who called the police only saw their shadows as they disappeared into the night. She'd do everything she could, but it wasn't likely they'd find these men. At least, not until they did this again.

Bobby stopped by once with some homemade chicken noodle soup. Buck had to feed him every bite, which made Tommy feel like he was about to cry the entire time, but he managed half a bowl before he had to stop. It was a million times better than anything the hospital had been feeding him, and he was glad to know Bobby had put some in his freezer to give Tommy when he got home.

Chim and Maddie came one evening. He'd been asleep when they got there, woke up some time during their visit, but he kept his eyes shut until they left.

Honestly, every time someone walked through the doors he felt more and more like running out of the hospital and finding a hole to fall into. Then, if he were lucky, someone would just shovel some dirt over him and let him rest.

These weren't his people. They were Buck's people. They didn't need to be there for him. They needed to hate him. They needed to laugh at his bruises and tell him he deserved every last one. They needed to yell at him for breaking Buck's heart to try and save his own.

That'd be a lot easier than this.

Thankfully, Hen and Karen didn't come by. They did send flowers though, and a card that explained both kids had strep throat and they didn't want to risk bringing that to the hospital. They'd come by Tommy's place once he was home.

He and Buck didn't talk about anything that needed to be talked about. All the unsent messages that had swirled through Tommy's mind didn't matter right now. It was like an unspoken rule between the two of them. Right now was not the time to try and fix whatever happened between them. Right now was about Tommy healing.

*****

As soon as they got Tommy home, Buck left Eddie with him so he could go to the pharmacy and pick up his medications. When he got back, Eddie headed out to go home and rest, promising to come back later with a variety of foods that would be easy on Tommy to eat.

The silence felt more... silent at Tommy's house. It was different now that they were at home instead of a hospital with people coming in and out at all times.

Tommy needed to do something, say something, to break the silence.

“I wasn't on a date,” he muttered out as Buck organized his pain meds on his nightstand.

Buck paused briefly before getting right back to it. “Didn't think you were.”

Tommy nodded. “Okay. I just, I don't know, didn't want you to think that.”

“You go to Georgie's when your brain is working overtime and you need it to quiet down.”

Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't know I ever told you that.”

“You didn't,” Buck replied, handing Tommy his pills and a glass of water. “I just know you.”

Tommy swallowed the pills, wincing slightly. His throat still felt scratchy even a week later. “I don't know how they knew,” he said as Buck took the water from him and set it on his nightstand.

“Who knew what?”

“Those guys that-” he stopped. “I don't know how they knew I was gay.”

“A lot of queer people hang out at Georgie's,” Buck answered. “They probably took a guess.”

The thought of it made Tommy's stomach lurch. “I've spent most of my life trying to make sure people couldn't guess.”

Buck watched him for a moment quizzically. “Tommy, you're not... You don't blame yourself for this, do you? You know this wasn't your fault, right?”

Tommy avoided eye contact with Buck. He felt so small right now. “I know I didn't do anything to provoke them.”

“That doesn't really answer my question.”

“I just... I don't know what I could have done differently. I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I... I should probably go to a different bar, maybe. I don't know.”

“You can't be serious right now.”

“This is everything I feared my entire life, Buck,” Tommy admitted and, God, he wished he could shut up right now. The pain pills were starting to make him a little loose lipped, mixed with him truly being alone with Buck for the first time since they broke up, mixed with an undeniable fear every time he thought about that night, seemed to make it impossible to close his mouth. “I did everything to make sure nothing like this would ever happen to me and it still did. I keep thinking about it and wondering how it could have been different. How I could have been different.”

“Tommy, can you look at me?”

Slowly, Tommy looked up at Buck, his eyes shining with tears.

“This was not your fault. There's nothing you could or should have done differently. You cannot let those five men shove you back into a closet.”

“I-” Tommy cleared his throat. “They're not. It's just... a lot right now.”

“I get that, I- I do. You look tired. Why don't you rest for a bit, okay? I'll be here when you wake up.”

“Buck, you don't-”

“If you tell me I don't need to stay I will force feed you bone broth when you wake up.”

Tommy shivered. “Ugh! I hate bone broth.”

“I know you do.” Buck gently pulled a pillow out from under Tommy, allowing him to lie back easier. “Close your eyes, get some rest. I'm here when you need me.”

*****

They were bound to fight sometime. Tommy had honestly expected it to happen sooner. Buck had been staying with him for three weeks now, only gone when he was working a shift. Bobby had let him work part time for now, with Carla caring for him when Buck was gone.

They'd managed to get past the initial awkwardness. Buck rambled about any and every subject he could think of. They'd watch movies together on the couch, with Tommy falling asleep halfway through due to his pain meds.

Buck would get Tommy tucked in bed, then set himself up on Tommy's floor in case he was needed during the night. Tommy had tried to insist he use the spare room, but Buck wouldn't hear of it. He knew Tommy wouldn't call for him if he needed him through the night.

Then Tommy tried to suggest he sleep in the bed. But that was a no go because, “I kick, Tommy, you know this. Do you really want another knee surgery?”

They'd been focused on Tommy getting better. And they'd been ignoring the many, many elephants in the room.

So, a fight was expected.

What wasn't expected was for the fight to start because Tommy needed to pee.

Buck had seemed a bit more on edge today, but Tommy chalked that up to a shift that ran longer than expected.

Tommy had grabbed his crutches, which he'd just been able to start using to go short distances. He still didn't quite trust himself to use them at night, but he was working toward relying on them more and relying on people less.

When he stood, Buck immediately stood with him.

“I'm fine, Buck. I just need to go to the bathroom.”

“I'll help you there.”

“I'm really fine. I can get there by myself.”

Tommy was sure he had kept his tone neutral. He definitely didn't want an argument tonight. But, before he could even make it two steps, he heard Buck scoff. “Not surprised.”

And maybe it was the full bladder making him extra bitchy, but Tommy couldn't help turning around and asking, “What's that mean?”

Buck shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing.”

“Obviously it's not nothing. If it were nothing you wouldn't have said anything in the first place. What doesn't surprise you?”

“Just you, ya know, pushing people away. It's what you do.”

“Ha!” Tommy laughed out. “If I'm pushing people away then I really suck at it because you haven't left my house in three weeks. I just need to pee.”

“I'm not talking about right now. I'm talking about me telling you that I loved you and you breaking up with me.”

How in the hell did they end up here?

“You didn't tell me you loved me, Evan!” Tommy exclaimed, unbelievably confused. The sudden change in tone caused Buck to take a step back.

He was only thrown off for a second, quick with a retort. “Of course I did!”

“No, you absolutely did not! You asked me to move in with you, but you did not tell me you loved me.”

“Wait. You asked him to move in with you?” Eddie's voice had them glaring in his direction. Both had forgotten he was even there in the first place. He raised his hands. “Sorry.”

“Well, I- it was obviously implied,” Buck argued. “I wouldn't have asked you to move in if I didn't love you.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?! You were making it sound like I was some gay hero that sewed the first pride flag! I don't even go to pride events, Evan! All the colors are far too bright and the glitter never leaves you.”

“Glitter is really annoying,” Eddie agreed.

Tommy pointed a crutch at him. “Thank you.”

“I was not trying to make you out to be some gay hero, Tommy! I was telling you that I was comfortable with you. I was telling you I wanted to spend all my time with you. I wanted us to be together!”

“You didn't even think it through, Evan!” Tommy motioned around the room. “I own a home. It comes with two bedrooms that have doors, a garage, a back yard, and two and a half bathrooms. You asked me to move into your loft.”

Eddie shook his head. “Oh, Buck.”

Buck's eyes shot over to him. “You're still here why?”

Eddie stood from his spot on the couch, grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I'm going. Later.”

They both stayed silent until they heard the door open and close.

Buck opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “This is our first fight, isn't it?”

Tommy nodded. “It is.”

“Took us long enough.”

Tommy managed a small smile. “Probably should have fought you that night, honestly.”

“I think I would have felt better if you did.”

“Me too.” Tommy took a deep breath. “I actually really do have to pee,” he said, shifting from one crutch to the other. “Can we pause this until I'm done?”

Buck nodded. “I'll be here.”

They didn't actually fight anymore after that. It was time for Tommy to take his meds, which made him tired, and Buck was tired himself from his shift. Tommy laid in bed, Buck snoring on the floor beside him, thinking it all over. All the things he still felt like he needed to say. The unfinished business they had between them.

The fight wasn't much, but it was something.

It was enough.

For now.

*****

“Are you sure you're good on your own?” Buck asked as Tommy limped behind him toward the door.

“I'm sure. I can successfully do everything on my own now with minimal to no pain.”

Buck turned back to him quickly, eyes wide. “But there's still pain?”

Tommy smiled. “I'm fine, Evan.”

Buck didn't look so sure. “Okay, I... Okay.” Instinctively, he moved forward to wrap Tommy in a hug. He stopped himself before he got too close, but Tommy responded by opening his arms.

Buck's posture relaxed as he gently wrapped his arms around Tommy, careful not to squeeze too tightly. "I was so worried about you," he whispered in the space between them.

"I know."

“You'll call the number I gave you?” he asked.

“I already did yesterday,” Tommy admitted. “When you went out to pick up dinner. My first session is next Monday.”

“Good. That's... That's good.”

“Thank you, Evan. For everything you've done for me. You didn't have to do that.”

Reluctantly, Buck pulled himself away from Tommy.

“Did you realize you've been calling me Evan since our fight a couple weeks ago?” he asked, lips upturning into a smile.

“Oh, um,” Tommy shifted on his feet, taking the pressure off his bad knee. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Don't be sorry. I hate when you call me Buck.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I'll always- I wanna be Evan, to you.”

Tommy nodded, staring into Evan's eyes. “Okay. That's. I'd like that too.”

Buck continued toward the door, stopping again as soon as his hand touched the handle. He looked back. “Hey, Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you think about texting me... hit send, okay?”

Tommy had never mentioned that before. But he'd caught Buck's near-texts to him too, so it didn't quite catch him off guard. “I'm kinda a mess, Evan. I'm not as comfortable as you think I am. I'm not... I'm still figuring things out.”

“That's okay. I am too. Text me anyway.”

“Even if I'm asking you out for a coffee? So we can talk? Really talk?”

“Date and time, I'll be there.” Buck smiled softly at him as he opened the door to leave. “I'll get your order right this time.”

[petersasteria]

Hey, It's Been A While - G Dragon/Kwon Ji Yong

Pairing: GD x Reader Summary: long time partners that don't have the same goal

A/N: i just want to say that it's been a while since I've written a fic and this is my first time writing for GD sksksks I've been wanting to write for a while now and I just want to thank @ldydeath @thanosscross @loveesiren @welcometoyunosworld @dollzites @natalicss for inspiring me to write again <3

He was your whole world. You were his. Everything seemed right until it wasn't.

A year into your relationship, everything was still phenomenal. It was like the honeymoon phase never ended. He treated you right and he did right by you. You pampered him when he was tired and he always sent you updates when he was at work. He even started sending you food, knowing that you always forgot to eat on time.

God, you were in love with this man. After your first year together, you knew he was the one. You knew in your heart that nobody could replace him and you hope that he felt that too.

Years go by and suddenly, you've been dating for 9 years. Everyone was pestering you to get married already, but Ji-yong never asked... not yet. Your relationship with him was never rocky and despite multiple breakup rumors, it remained stronger than ever. It stood the test of time and Ji-yong liked to prove people wrong all the time. He brought you to events all the time and he would be the one to send you those shitty rumors first before anyone else would, just so the two of you could make fun of it.

God, he was in love with you. He loved every single moment he shared with you. It was weird because he figured that he was the only man in the world who falls in love with you even more when you're angry. He absolutely loved you when you were angry because he loved seeing your real emotions toward things that angered you. He loved supporting you when you got angry. If you were cussing someone out during a rant, he'd do the same thing because he knew that you'd look at him, laugh, and forget what you were even angry about which annoyed you a lot, but he knew you were thankful. Your first year together was the best year he ever had. He wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Years go by and he's still so madly and sickeningly in love with you. He would never want to hurt your feelings that's why when rumors started going around about your breakup, he'd make sure to send it to you first attached with a cruel joke that only you two would understand. He'd smile to himself when you give it a 'haha' react and reply with another joke. It'd be enough to put him in a good mood.

Lately, he's starting to notice something different about you. You were a little bit sad, but he didn't know what to do and it scared him because he'd usually know what to do and what to say. He could read your expressions so well and it killed him that he couldn't read it now. For the first time in 9 years, he couldn't understand what was wrong.

To remedy the situation, he took you out on a date in a very expensive restaurant. He didn't care how much he'd spend. He just wanted to see you happy and to know if something's wrong. He wanted to make you feel better.

Obviously, that action didn't register the same way to you. He wanted to talk to you and ask what's going on, and you thought he was proposing. Of course, none of you knew what the other was thinking during the time both of you were getting ready in the same room. He glanced at you as he put his cufflinks on and smiled when he saw you smiling to yourself. 'My girl's back.' He thought. You looked up at him as you smoothed out your dress and smiled, "Ready to go?"

The whole ride going to the restaurant was quiet. It was a comfortable kind of quiet. The soft music filling the car and the reflection of the lights coming from the street lamps and shops illuminated your faces perfectly. He wanted to take multiple pictures of you then and there to make it his new lockscreen, but he didn't want both of you to get injured because he was too busy driving. Despite having a lot of money, he didn't feel the need to hire a driver because he thinks that going on drives with you is intimate no matter where you go.

You arrived at the restaurant and got seated at the best table with the best view. You scanned the menu, ordered your food, and smiled at each other. "Um, it's been a while since we went on a proper date. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love staying in, but I just feel like dressing up with you and going to a fancy place for a change. If that's alright?" He asked, anxious for your reply. He didn't know why he was anxious around you. He guessed that maybe he didn't want to upset you by saying the wrong thing.

"That's perfectly fine, Ji." You smiled shyly, thinking he's nervous about his proposal. "I'll go wherever you go. We've been together for so long, I can't even remember what it's like to function without you."

Both of you laughed and agreed. You started talking about your job and how you're eyeing for that big promotion because the pay is better and the office is bigger. He just kept listening and laughing and only talking when he was curious about one topic or if he had any opinions or views about something you said. At one point, he couldn't help himself because of how your face was perfectly illuminated by the light coming from the restaurant's warm, dim lights. He asked for you to pose as he took multiple pictures. Some of it were candid shots of you asking him to stop because it was taking too long. Despite all the magazine-worthy photos he took of you, he chose the most candid one as his lockscreen because it took him back to when you first met.

"I'm really glad that you're smiling again, Y/N." He said as he toyed a little bit with his dessert's toppings using his dessert spoon. Your head tilted a little bit to the side as you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. What was he talking about?

He looked at you and said, "Oh, I mean it's nothing bad... I hope. Um, recently, I noticed that you were sad and you had this expression I couldn't read and I panicked because I didn't know how to fix it and you've never been so closed off like that with me. Now that you're smiling and laughing, it makes me feel better that you're feeling better." He breathed and smiled a big smile, "I'm really glad you're feeling better. You can tell me if I've done anything to upset you, you know that right?"

You nodded your head and said, "You did nothing wrong, actually. I guess I was just a bit sad because of what people are saying about us... or about me."

His eyes went dark and said, "What?" He wasn't aware that people were saying stuff about the two of you or about you, specifically. It angered him that people were trying to breakup the one relationship he cherished the most. He felt betrayed and backstabbed. You nodded and said, "They said that you didn't really love me and that I'm just a placeholder for when you meet your true love."

He was so hurt that you said that so casually. "Anyway, I don't believe it anymore because it's ridiculous! Especially now that it's happening." You said giddily. He chuckled in confusion and shook his head slightly, "I'm sorry, what's happening?"

"You know..." You said in excitement. "No, I don't know actually." He said with genuine confusion.

"Oh. Is this not what I thought it was?" You asked in a small voice, feeling absolutely mortified and embarrassed.

"What are you on about, my love?" He asked. He didn't understand. He didn't have a clue at all.

You gave him a tight-lipped smile and said, "Let's just go home."

As soon as you got home, you marched straight to your shared room with Ji-yong quickly following behind. "Hey, what's going on? Please tell me. You know that I don't like to be kept in the dark about things that concern our relationship."

You looked at him as you took off your shoes and earrings. "Fine. We've been together for 9 years and you still haven't proposed. Why?"

He chuckled, "Is that it? Is that why you're so upset? I can answer that right now."

"Okay. Please enlighten me."

"I don't believe in marriage and starting a family, Y/N." He said coolly. "I thought it was obvious? I mean, we have a great relationship going on and I absolutely adore you and everyone knows that. I just don't feel the need to put it on a piece of paper. You're the only woman in my life and I'm the only man in your life and it's always been that way. Everybody knows that."

Your heart shattered into a million pieces. "What?" was all you said. He shrugged and sat down on your shared bed, "Yeah. I thought you knew? I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. I genuinely thought you knew this whole time." You shook your head and started crying.

You sat down on the bed next to him and started crying. He pulled you in for a hug, but you pushed him away. He was hurt that you did that because you never pushed him away before. "What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing your back and pushing your hair away from your face.

You looked up at him and said, "I don't think I can go on this way."

"What do you mean?" He panicked. Is this it? Is your relationship ending after 9 beautiful years?

"We have different goals. I want to get married and have kids, Ji. I find it so selfish of you to not tell me and expect me to be okay with it now. If you told me that 9 years ago-"

"You would've left immediately, I know you would. Please don't leave me now. We're doing so great." He pleaded.

"Ji-yong, please-"

"Will you marry me?"

"What?" You looked at him like was crazy.

"You wanted to get married, right? I love you too much for you to walk away. Let's get married and have kids like what you've always dreamed of. How many kids do you want? We can move out of here and find a more quiet place for us to start a family and-"

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you, Y/N. Don't be silly."

"Oh, but you would. You'd resent me for marrying me because you never wanted to get married. You'd resent our children because you never wanted to have children. We want different things in life and maybe we were just meant to meet, but not destined to be with each other."

"Y/N, I love you. Please marry me."

"You're just asking me that because you want me to stay, not because you want to marry me. Ji-yong, my love, it's okay. It'll take some time, but I hope you find someone who has the same goal as you."

Those were your last words to him before you parted ways. Your breakup was called the "breakup of the century" because it shocked everyone.

-

It's been 2 years since then and Ji-yong heard that you were getting married and that you were pregnant. He was truly happy for you because you got what you wanted, but it killed him to know that it's not him you're marrying and it's not him who's fathering your child. He was invited to the wedding and so are Daesung and Taeyang. They didn't want him to go because they knew it would hurt his feelings, but he assured them that he'll be fine. He moved on... a little bit.

He hoped to talk to you, though.

He wandered around aimlessly through the halls and hoped that by sheer luck, he finds your dressing room. He spots a group of bridesmaids and he switches on his charm and asks them if they were your bridesmaids. They said yes and he immediately asked where your dressing room was.

They led him there before leaving. He could hear you singing softly to yourself, indicating that you were alone. After all this time, he still knew you like the back of his hand. He smiled to himself and knocked on your door.

"Mom, please calm down. For the nth time, I don't need water!" You said through the door. He chuckled to himself before opening the door.

"Sorry to disappoint. I'm not your mom." He said softly. His gaze immediately falling on your beautiful face matched with your perfectly styled hair, then on your white wedding dress.

"Ji-yong."

"Y/N."

"You're here! Wow." You said in surprise. "Um, please sit." You motioned for him to sit on your couch and you sat down next to him.

"You look beautiful, Y/N." He smiled. His smile reached his eyes and you gave him a shy look. His compliments still gave you butterflies.

"Thank you. I'm glad you could make it."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He said. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you needed me to be. Now that I look back, it really was shitty of me to tell you that I didn't want to get married and expect you to accept it. It was also shitty of me to propose to you just for you to stay, and you were right. I would've hated you and I don't want to hate you because I love you so much. In fact, I love you so much that I can't let you go."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying." He chuckled bitterly. "I want you to be happy with me, but I can't make you happy because I can't give you what you want. He makes you happy and I hate that. I don't want you to leave him because I would never want to breakup a family... that's not who I am."

"I just wish that I was different. I wish that I believed in marriage, so that you wouldn't marry that guy and have his child. I wish it was me you came home to. You'll always be the love of my life, Y/N. I screwed up, but I never lied to you. I've done a lot of shit in my life, but loving you and being with you is different. I meant what I said that day when I told you that you're the only woman in my life."

He pulled out his phone and showed you his lockscreen from that night at the restaurant. "See? I never changed it. I'll always love you and it'll stay that way until my last breath."

You stayed quiet. Why was he saying all this?

"I love you. I respect you. I already care about your kid and I haven't even met them. I guess what I'm saying is, something in my gut tells me that we're definitely destined to be together and in some fucked up way, I hope it's true."

"I'm confused." You told him.

"Get married, Y/N. Go. I'm not stopping you. I'm not a cruel person and I know how hard you've worked in planning all this. I know you so well, after all. I'm just saying that one day, I know you'll come back to me."

"What if you're wrong?" You asked. "I love my fiance."

"I know you do. Just not the same way you loved me. Our 9 years wasn't a joke. We're basically married at that point." He smirked. "You deserve a happy marriage, Y/N. I know you're happy."

He stood up and walked to the door. "I just have this terrible gut feeling about that man that I can't shake."

With that, he left the dressing room.

--------

A/N: I planned on smth very angsty, but I couldn't stop typing until it led me to that ending HAHAHAHA

[azulpitlane]

i wish you would I ln4

pairings: lando norris x reader, exbf! mason mount x reader summary: part two of got love struck notes: kinda dragged making this but finals are finally over so send me some requests pls🤸‍♀️ this ones kinda angsty and there's lots of miscommunication sorry hehe part three, masterlist

yourusername posted a story 2h ago

The night was full of partying, drinking and dancing as you celebrated your best friend's 23rd birthday. The night quickly turned into a mess when you went to the bar to get everyone more drinks. When you came back your friends were nowhere to be seen, you assumed they were in the dance floor but when you went to check, they weren't there either. To make matters worse, you had put your phone in your friend's purse for safe keeping so you had no way to contact them. The panic quickly sobered you up as you looked everywhere for them but instead you found different a familiar face.

"Mason?"

"Y/n! Hey, I didn't realize you were here."

Your ex-boyfriend went for a hug as he greeted you. You and Mason ended your relationship over a year ago, and though you felt no animosity towards the football player, the breakup had been hard as everybody on the internet seemed to have an opinion on it. It was mutual breakup, you both were in different stages in your life and it just seemed like it wasn't your time.

"Yeah, I was celebrating y/bff/n's birthday with a few other girls, but I have no idea where they are and they have my cell." You were starting to get frustrated as you felt like they left without you.

"Oh no, I would help you look but I'm about to head out. Let me give you a ride home, I would hate for you to be here by yourself."

You knew if somebody saw you and Mason alone it would cause chaos all over again, but you had no other choice at the moment and you just wanted to go to bed. You agreed and as you left you both were oblivious to the cameras taking pictures of you leaving through the back door together.

As you pulled up to your hotel you smiled at Mason and thanked him.

"You're a lifesaver Mase seriously, I don't know what I would've done if I never found them or you."

"You don't have to thank me y/n. I will always look out for you even if we're broken up. I still care for you."

"You're a great friend, I'll always look out for you too."

"And um I have to ask,"

You could tell he was nervous as he scratched the back of his neck and his cheeks flushed slightly.

"What is it Mase?"

"Do you love him?"

You were surprised by the question, not expecting him to bring up Lando.

"Um yeah-yes. I love him so much, I can't even find the words to describe it to be honest. I don't think any song I write can even measure to how strong my love is for him."

"That's good, yeah, that's great. I just, I'm happy you found your person y/n. You know, I thought that person would be me, but if you're happy, than I am too. I guess we just weren't meant to be."

"Mase, you're one of the most amazing people I've met, seriously. I don't think it was ever in the cards for us, but you've taught me so much and you'll always have a special place in my heart. You will find your person one day, I promise."

You smiled at Mason as you spoke, not realizing you had given him the closure he had been needing for a year.

Lando was freaking out.

He had been sent the article of you and Mason over 5 times already and you hadn't answered your phone in over 2 hours. His mind was reeling as he was thinking about what you could possibly be doing right now. Even though he trusted you more than anything, he couldn't help but let it get to him. Why aren't you answering?

He knew your phone was charged and turned on considering he can still see your location. As he checked it again, he realized you were no longer at the club. You were at someone's apartment. Why weren't you at your hotel? Who's apartment was this?

Before he let himself jump to conclusions, he called y/bff/n knowing you two went out together.

"LANDOOOO! HI."

"Y/bff/n, hey is y/n with you?"

"Y/n? Oh nooooo. Aw I miss her Lan, is she with you?"

"What? No, how could she be with me? I'm in Monaco right now."

"Oh. Then I'm not so sure."

Lando could feel himself getting frustrated as he spoke with the clearly intoxicated girl.

"Okay, did she go home with you? With anyone else?"

"I don't know, you should probably call her or something."

"I did, over 10 times in the past hour."

"Oh maybe she's busy! Let me know how it goes, bye!"

"Wait-"

She hung up. Lando was going to throw up. He was never considered himself as an insecure guy, but he couldn't help but feel there was something going on. He's seen those tweets and comments saying how much everyone loved you and Mason together. What if those comments made you realize they were right? What if you were with Mason right now? Lando wanted to cry, scream and throw up all at once.

Three loud knocks woke you up from your beauty sleep. You were still in last night's clothes as you were too tired to even change after the nights disaster. You opened the door and your best friend ran in and hugged you.

"Y/N! I'm so so sorry for leaving you all by yourself. I was completely blacked out and I guess I was acting sloppy because y/f/n said we got kicked out of the club! I was acting too drunk and they got mad im so so sorry, this is all my fault and we tried to tell security to get you but they were so mean and-"

"Y/bff/n stop. It's fine, it was your birthday, you deserved to act a little crazy."

"Still babe, I'm sorry. Now that article is being spread like crazy and it's all because of me."

"What are you talking about? What article?"

"Shit. I forgot, here's your phone. But I have to warn you, people saw you leaving the club with Mason last night and the rumors have already begun. Im sorry hun."

Oh god.

Lando🧡 15 missed calls 5 unread messages

YourPublicist 2 missed calls 1 unread message

Danny Ric🤠 2 unread messages

Y/f/n 8 unread messages

The notifications were endless as you scrolled through your phone but there was only one that you really cared about. You immediately called Lando, afraid he was angry at you for this mess.

"Lan, baby, I'm so sorry for worrying you. I just opened your messages, y/bff/n had my phone all night." You immediately gave him a run down of the night as you knew what it was like to be in his position. The media has circulated so many rumors about your relationship overnight and you knew how hard that was. You had dealt with it all throughout your career and you were heartbroken it was happening to Lando because of you.

"That's weird because I actually called y/bff/n last night and she did not mention she had your phone."

"She was so out of it last night, she probably forgot she even had it. Oh god, she was downing shots I'm honestly not even surprised she got kicked out, she was so crazy-"

"Y/n, you don't understand, I have not slept all night. I was worried and everyone is talking about this. I look like an idiot in this situation."

You knew Lando was going to be upset but after your explanation, you didn't expect for him to still be angry at you.

"I know, the night was a mess, but nothing happened with Mason. He just dropped me off and I'm grateful it was him and not some random taxi."

"You're grateful it was him? You're grateful these pictures are all over the internet?"

"That's not what I meant! I meant he was the safest option at that moment, I had nobody else."

"Yeah. Half of the internet is happy it was him. People are actually celebrating thinking you guys are back together."

"Don't listen to them Lan, me and Mase are never getting back together. People will accept it over time and this will blow over."

"Why are you being so casual about this? Do you even know how I felt last night when you weren't answering. I was going to be sick thinking what you could possibly be doing with him."

"Lan, I told you nothing happened. Why aren't you believing me?"

"This is just all too much." Lando knew he was overreacting a bit. Your story made sense and it all lined up, but he had spent the entire night overthinking and reading the rumors about you two that he couldn't get them out of his mind. He loved you so much and last night made him realize how easily he can lose you and that thought terrified him. You were everything to him, but did you really feel the same way?

"Are you breaking up with me? Seriously? Over a stupid tabloid, I can't believe this." You felt betrayed. Did he not trust you?

"I dont know, it's just hard for me wrap my head around this right now."

"Lan, my flight to Monaco leaves in a few hours, how about we just talk about this in person when our heads are clear?"

Lando was getting angrier as the call went on. He knew his insecurities were getting the best of him right now but he felt like you weren't listening to him. You were trying to brush this off when the whole world was going against you two right now.

"Wow Y/n. My heads pretty fucking clear right now. You know what? Maybe it's best if you don't come, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay."

one week later

liked by user 1, user 2, masonmount and 3,593,304 others

yourusername life atm. p.s all new music released from now on is coming from the comfort of my own bed <3

comments on this post have been limited

yourbff love u. coming over rn🏃‍♀️

yourusername pls dont forget snacks

taylorswift need this new album right now

danielricciardo ❤️‍🩹

liked by user1, user2 and 231,583 others

dailymail Singer Y/n Y/l/n spotted once again with Manchester United star, Mason Mount, leaving a restaurant with a few other football players. Are the two officially back together? Rumors of her breakup with Formula One driver, Lando Norris have been circulating for over a week now after Y/l/n and Mount were seen leaving a club together. Read more on this new love triangle in our article linked in our bio.

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user1 im so excited for this album HAHAHA

user2 team mason idc

user3 funny how the last song she dropped was titled slut, if the shoe fits :)

user4 slut shaming in 2023? disgusting.

user5 i refuse to believe her and lando broke up sorry

user6 delulu is the solulu atp😁

notes: another cliffhanger!!!🤸‍♀️also this isn't proofread at all my bad heh

tags: @jayrami3 @whoselly @roseseraj @saturnbloom77 @landowecanbewc

[lost-romantique]

The Parallels Between Sinsmas & the Full Moon Breakup

Note: Please do NOT turn this post into a discussion on who's in the right and who's in the wrong. I think what happened between Stolas and Octavia is a complicated issue, and I think it's unfair to take sides. (We do not need another Blitz vs Stolas debate, especially between Father and Daughter.)

~~~~~~~~

Both breakups involve Stolas breaking it off with the two people that mean the world to him: Blitz and Octavia. 

The only difference is whereas Stolas had every intention of breaking up, or setting free Blitz in the Full Moon and did. 

Stolas had NO intention, and NO inclination of his daughter breaking up, or should I say disowning him in Sinsmas.

~~~~~~~

Let me start off by saying that Octavia, throughout the entirety of her argument with her father, exhibits traits from both Blitz and Stolas.

Octavia lashes out in anger the same way Blitz did in the Full Moon. However, unlike Blitz, who had no real way to gain control of the conversation and pull it in his favor. Octavia, from the very beginning controls the conversation, even while she's lashing out. 

Octavia’s entire tirade is filled with harsh truths, half-truths, her truths (even if they're false, they are true to her), and harsh call-outs. Similar to Blitzø’s tirade in the Full Moon.

“It was your choice, you chose HIM!"

“Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich ASSHOLE?!”

“You never loved mother, you don't love me, YOU LOVE HIM!”

“TREAT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR BUTLER IMPS? You can't just dismiss me like that!”

"So does that mean you just stayed miserable because of me? Was I some fucking obligation? Is that why you didn't even hesitate when you got the chance to leave?"

"I mean you royal fucks think you can do this every time. Like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!"

Meanwhile, the one trait Octavia really takes from her father is the fact that, right now, she is stuck in her own head, not considering her father's own thoughts and feelings, and dismissing them.

Octavia doesn't bother hearing out her father, and fails to take into account his feelings. She doesn't see the pain and anguish she's causing him. 

Stolas does the same in the Full Moon (before Blitz's tirade), completely blind to anything else, aside from what he needs to do (give Blitz the crystal), he doesn't notice the fact that he drove Blitzø to tears.

~~~~~~~

But that's not all…

Pretty much every single negative event that Blitz experienced in Full Moon, Stolas is then forced to experience, by the hands of his own daughter.

It's almost cruel, as it is ironic.

(I just want to preface this by saying that Stolas was justified in the way he acted in Full Moon when Blitz triggered him, and I can not fault him for that. However, Blitz also had a right to get angry at Stolas for disregarding him. Complicated situation all around. I really don't want to turn this into a who was right and who was wrong debate.)

…

Stolas ruminated on the events of the Full Moon, and had a plan in his mind for how it was going to go down. His mistake, he didn’t even bother giving Blitz a heads up on what was happening.

Octavia's life came crashing down all around her the moment she saw her dad was willing to die for a man she assumed was just a homewrecker. By the time she confronts her dad, her mind was already made up.

…

Stolas controlled the entire flow of the conversation with Blitz in the Full Moon, and sent Blitz into a tizzy, making him grow ever increasingly distressed. 

Octavia controlled the entire flow of the conversation with her father in Sinsmas. Stolas becomes frazzled and desperate, trying to explain himself to his daughter.

…

Stolas forcefully gives the crystal to Blitz, without his consent. But was something Blitz ultimately needed. 

Octavia forcefully gives the bottle of antidepressants to her dad, without his consent. But was something Stolas ultimately needed.

… 

Cruel parting words are said to the other as a last Goodbye. 

Stolas to Blitz in Full Moon:

“Blitz, I think so very highly of you. I didn't realize you think so low of me… Goodbye Blitz”

Octavia to Stolas in Full Moon:

“You lied to me once, you will again. Have a great fucking life with him, Dad.” 

…

Stolas shuts down the conversation. He later teleports Blitz out of the palace.

Octavia shuts down the conversation. She forbids her father from chasing after her any further.

~~~~~~

The same way Blitz was forced to realize that his words and actions hurt Stolas so deeply to the point that he essentially lost him (Stolas) by the end of Apology Tour, and could genuinely do nothing about it, without fucking things up any further.

Stolas is forced to watch the person he cares deeply for, lose trust in him completely, and being unable to do anything about it. Unlike the other times Stolas could just hug his daughter and apologize. and make everything better; things are different now, his apologies don't mean shit to her.  It's too late. He's hurt her too much, and now she's blinded with her growing resentment of him.

Stolas is forced to feel what it's like to be truly abandoned by someone that mattered the world to you; the same way Blitz has gone through that feeling over (his mom)  and over (Fizz)  and over (Barbie) and over (Cash) and over (Stolas) again. Stolas is forced to feel that pain, to know that feeling Blitzø is so terrified of, the feeling of being truly abandoned.

[mrs-monaghan]

Tbh I'm a jikooker, but I find it incredibly difficult to fit a healthy long-term relationship into the same timeline as all of jimin's solo work. It's not the pronouns or taking one lyric very literally, its the entire thing, plus comments from him and his producers. To me, you'd have to do some serious olympic level mental gymnastics to make that make sense. I don't doubt that jikook have a special bond, I've definitely seen things between them that definitely look like sexual attraction to me and things that surpass friendship boundaries, but I can't in good faith say that they're together in some official long-term way if I actually listen to jimin and his work.

I've seen some jikookers think they broke up for a while, but I have to question if those people have ever been through a breakup because the little bit of distance/separation/awkwardness we did see from them during chapter 2 is nothing compared to the type of tension that would be there if a relationship that intimate and intertwined had separated, especially considering the dark feelings jimin was feeling. He wouldn't have been cutely commenting on jungkook's lives and jungkook wouldn't have been asking to hang-out or getting excited to see jimin in his comments.

Idk, I'm sure someone could twist everything a certain way and only take certain things at face-value and then make everything else abstract, etc. to make the case that they are together, but I don't really see it. You look at face-off, alone, and just his general dark feelings during Face, then look at the creation of Muse and how him and his producers said he couldn't relate to the love-dovey beginning songs, which is how they ended up making Who (despite the fact that jikookers try to distance him from the song since he doesn't have writing credits even though he sat in the recording room telling them what he wanted and saying it felt like reading his diary). I think jimin could have very well gone through a pretty awful breakup along with the inner turmoil he was going through post-covid, but I don't think it was with jungkook if he did. I still enjoy jikook's bond either way at the end of the day, but yeah I don't really get how anyone can take an honest look at jimin's work and his words and think he was in a long-term healthy love-of-his-life relationship during that time or into chapter 2.

Not trying to change your opinion or anything, honestly I don't really see it discussed much in jikooker spaces (besides bad-faith stuff like tkkers stirring up shit over pronouns in lyrics which is just dumb) and when it is, some jikookers are pretty pick-and-choose about what they deem to be true to jimin's feelings and what isn't. Which I get being nuanced, but sometimes it does feel like a "well this fits my beliefs so clearly this is true to jimin and this doesn't so it means nothing because he didn't write it" or whatever. I honestly get annoyed with the bad-faith arguers because it prevents being able to have actual discussions about some of this stuff in our little jikooker corner of tumblr. Like "he said her, he's clearly straight! he danced with a girl, straight!" stfu.

I don't have much to say to you anon. Not really. Not anything that hasn't been said anyway. Which you've seen and decided its jkkrs doing mental gymnastics. "I'm a Jikooker but..." its never a great way to start a sentence. It just gives major insecure jkkr vibes which i just 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬 you either believe in them or you don't. There is no if, and or buts.

I will leave you with this; over the years, antis and (insecure) jkkrs alike have always found a way to conclude Jkk aren't as close anymore or they broke up or some other bullshit. But what happens everytime Jikook resurface and we see them together again?

NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!

Nothing ever changes with these 2! They come back closer, more in sync, happier, more in love and their relationship more established than ever. This happens every👏🏽damn👏🏽time👏🏽 Everytime!

Then the insecure jkkrs will be like "jkk is real" again.

And then we will go without content for a while and once again we are back here with the jkk aren't as close argument. Once again. It is an exhausting cycle that I refuse to be a part of.

You can try and nit pick various reasons as to why Jikook aren't in an established rlship, but I will chose to focus on reasons why they are definitely 130000000% in a relationship. Like the fact that they are enlisted together rn, the fact that they could have done AYS with other members but chose eo. Or the fact that Jimin wrote his name on JK's chest with sunscreen and I dont even want to imagine how he did that. What position they were in that would justify people calling them brothers 😂

You do you anon. I'mma just be over here enjoying Jimin promote the hell out of his favourite JK song.

Tweet

Look at him so proud of his man 🥺🥺

[acatnamedpusheen]

2:04AM

(Javier Peña x fem!reader)

Smut with barely any plot

Word count: ~1.8K

Summary: You meet Javier at a bar after a breakup and you agree you're in need of a quick fuck as much as he is

Warnings: Smut 18+, oral f receiving, unprotected p in v (as if I'll ever write anything different), mentions of alcohol and smoking, English not being my first language, no mentions of y/n

A/N: So umm as you might be guessing, I started watching Narcos and let me tell you I came purely for Pedro but stayed for literally everything else! I thought I'd never enjoy it but omg I'm obsessed I'm almost done with S1! And yes I know I'm 10 years late to this... Anyways, Peña can have me any way he wants as many times as he wants and wherever he wants. I haven't written a fic so effortlessly since the days I was simping over my fave kpop boys, hope you like it, it was purely self indulgent btw. Also heyyy this is my first Pedro fanfic and I somehow wrote it just in time for his birthday? If that's not destiny... (jk I need to be locked away)

~~~

His hands were big and rough on your body. Your skin smooth and soft against his touch as he undressed you.

Hurriedly, desperately.

Your own hands mirroring his, trying to open the buttons of his tight shirt, as his lips were attacking your neck.

-

You only met him an hour ago at the bar you'd picked to get wasted after another breakup. This one hurt a lot you had to admit. You thought you'd finally found the one but you had been quick to judge within the span of half a year.

Turns out you'd only found yourself nothing but a liar and a cheater who had been hooking up with his ex all while acting like a good boyfriend to you.

You shot a death glare at the rather handsome man that approached you with a drink on the counter.

"Not interested." your voice was stern and you didn't even care to take a better glance at him as you downed another shot.

"Cheater?" was it so obvious by the way you were sitting alone hoping to get drunk enough to forget even temporarily what had happened, or was he just really good at reading people?

His simple question caused you to turn your head back to him as you scoffed. And only then did you really notice how good looking he really was under the dim lights of the bar. With his button up shirt that hugged his toned body just right, his slightly tanned skin and that mustache that adorned his handsome face.

"Let me guess, you're just looking for a quick fuck, aren't you?" the look of disgust never leaving your features.

"I'm not gonna pretend or promise you anything else. So if you're up for it, just let me know and I'll get us back to my place in no time." completely unfazed by your state of heartbreak he let you know his intentions as if making a deal of some sort.

His eyes stayed on you through his glass as he took a sip of his own drink waiting for an answer before trying his luck elsewhere.

This would be wrong that was for sure, but maybe due to the alcohol running through your system and how irresistible this man looked, your mind quickly reached the conclusion that it could infact be the best revenge. A way to feel like you were getting back at that shitty person you now called your ex. And since he'd probably never know about this, it all was just leaning towards pure temporary self indulgence.

"Okay." your voice barely contained any emotion as you reached for that man's forearm just when he was ready to turn around and leave, eyes already on his next target. Although surprised, he didn't say another word. With his hand on the small of your back he walked you out of that bar.

-

"I don't think I caught your name." you pointed out as his mouth left your neck and traveled to your newly exposed breasts, sending a wave of heat down to your core.

"Javier. And you, sweetheart?" you both had been so desperate to just fuck your problems away you didn't even know each other's names.

He hummed against your skin upon hearing your name, your fingers threaded in his hair holding him close, as he walked you backwards until you reached the foot of his bed. Sharing a messy kiss you shuffled further up on the sheets that had the exact same scent as him, sweet with a hint of tobacco.

All your clothes were long gone by that time. Neither of you caring to make the moment you'd see one another naked for the first time, intimate.

This wasn't about intimacy.

It certainly never had been for Javier. All he wanted was to blow some steam off. It would either be some whore he'd pick up from his favorite place, or someone random from the bar, like you.

You, who he was relieved to see weren't seeking any comfort in his arms. Sure, you knew straight away what it was that he wanted, yet your very recent breakup could easily lead you to believe the man whose hungry lips were traveling down your bare torso, would make you feel whole again.

You were expecting him to simply thrust into you, fuck you to oblivion and get it over with. And that's why a loud gasp escaped your lips when his came in contact with your folds.

"Relax sweetheart, gonna have to get you ready for me."

He could have just chosen to slip two fingers in you and pump a few times, to get you ready. Instead he chose to eat you out. Why? Because deep down Javier was highly competitive.

He didn't know who your ex was, hell he didn't even know you, but he was determined to prove that he could make you fall apart better than anyone, first on his tongue, then his dick.

And that's exactly what he did.

His tongue messed with your folds before slowly, carefully, sliding all the way to your clit and exploring the area around it. His hands found their place on your hip bones, just in time to hold you still when he finally came in contact with that sensitive bundle of nerves.

He alternated between sliding across and lightly sucking it, making you see stars, eliciting sounds of pleasure that had him humming in satisfaction against you, which only added to the sensation.

Your hands where firmly gripping his brown hair, as you grinded against his face, back arching with yet another wanton moan.

"Bet that asshole of yours never had you like this." his voice was muffled. Lifting his gaze he made eye contact, his actions never ceasing, while a hand snaked down between your thighs and two of his digits massaged your entrance. Your arousal coated them enough to allow them to slide in with ease as his name fell from your lips in the form of a sigh.

"Javier..."

He was right. As much as you were embarrassed to admit that a random stranger from a bar with whom you casually hooked up, was better at eating you out than your own boyfriend of six months, that was the truth. And if he had you on the edge of heaven just with his tongue, you were more than curious to see his skills with his dick.

It wasn't long before you sensed your orgasm nearing and that's when you lightly pushed Javier, notifying him that you wanted him to stop his ministrations.

Despite being too lost between your folds, fingers still curling in and out of you at a leisurely pace, he was quick to halt his actions and shoot you a worried look.

"You okay?"

"Yes, I just feel like I'm all ready for you now." your gaze was filled with lust, your breath still a bit heavy, as you pushed yourself off the sheets to meet Javier's lips in a hungry kiss. One hand on his neck, the other on his chest, you urged him to move until you were straddling his lap.

Without breaking the kiss you moved your hips and let his dick slide in-between your folds, earning a grunt from the man underneath you.

"Don't tease now, honey." he broke the kiss, gripping your hips to hold them still, only to start moving his own and take the upper hand in what you initiated. "I thought we both wanted the same thing."

"A quick fuck?" you tried to gather your thoughts while he kept sliding against you, spreading your arousal and brushing your clit. "Because it did seem like you were taking your time with me."

"I didn't see you complain about it." his voice was stained. He was desperately holding back more sounds, not wanting to make you think that he wasn't the one in control even for a second.

"There was no reason to do that." the subtle praise that left your lips had his dick twitching, his hands gripping your hips tighter. "But I would greatly appreciate if you could just go on and fuck me now, Javier."

And that's all it took for him to lift you up and let you line yourself up with him, before he was forcefully thrusting into you. The stretch forced a guttural moan out of you that mixed with his deep groan.

He wasted no time in setting a quick pace, reminding both of you how desperately you were chasing that high. Hands still digging into the skin of your hips, he was guiding you on and off him, the angle allowing his tip to hit a spot deep inside you.

The sight was animalistic, filthy. The sound of skin against skin filled the room along with your lewd noises.

He knew you were close, he could feel it in the way your walls kept fluttering around him. But so was he, his pace was beginning to falter and that's when he moved one hand from your hips to press his thumb on your already worked up clit.

"Gonna be a good girl and come for me?" he was barely holding on, yet still wanted to have the upper hand, to see you being the one to fall apart first.

Javier's words seemed to be the perfect push you needed to reach your climax. Vision going white as his and god's name were the only two things you were capable of saying as he kept fucking you through it until he halted his own movements with a deep groan, savouring his own orgasm.

You were still panting when you rolled off him to lay on your back. Eyes fixed on the ceiling as he reached for a cigarette from the nightstand, lighting it up and taking a puff.

"You can stay the night if you want." he broke the silence once he saw you move in search of your scattered clothes.

Eyes instantly on him, surprised by his proposition, you watched as he released a hazy cloud of smoke with a deep exhale. You couldn't exactly deny spending a few more hours with the man who just gave you the best sex you've had in a while.

As if reading your thoughts he continued. "The bathroom's on the first door to your right. Just let me know if you need anything else."

"Some water would be great." you said, panties in hand, to which he simply replied with a wink as he sat up and tapped the cigarette over the ashtray.

"And just so you know" he stopped you midway out the room, a smirk creeping into his features.

"That motherfucker of yours clearly didn't know what he was missing."

-

[sams-butt-dem0n]

The gang reacting to reader breaking up with them

DARRY doesn't really know what to do when you break the news to him that you're dumping him. He stands there shocked for a few seconds to gather his emotions before even attempting to ask.

"Why? Did I do something?" He says, his chin shaking a little but you can visibly see him pushing back the tears.

"I just can't deal with this anymore," you say. "All I'm trying to do is help you provide for your family and you can't even stop for ten minutes to say thank you and spend a little time with me. Ten minutes. that's all I'm asking for."

You can see the guilt written all over his face. You knew he wasn't going to change - you had this discussion many times before and every time it ended the same: him saying he'll change and that he's sorry you feel that way, and then never doing anything about it and going back to work the next day as if what you had talked about meant nothing.

He just nodded and let a singular tear roll down his cheek as he opened his front door for you and watched you walk down the street with your bags and out of his life forever.

SODAPOP would completely fall apart if you dumped him. He would come home from work with a huge grin plastered on his face, ready to give you a cuddle and a kiss but it soon dropped when he saw you. Standing there with a bag on the table, waiting for him. There was nobody else home, it was supposed to be a day dedicated to the two of you.

"Babe, what's going on?" He asks. "Are we going on a road trip or something? because if we are, give me five minutes for a shower and I'll-"

"Soda," you say, cutting him off.

You saw his head hang to the floor, his eyes darted at the floor. He knew what was happening. he just didn't want to admit it.

"I'm sorry," you say.

"Why?" He asks, hot tears streaming down his face as he looks up to meet your eyes, his stare hurting your heart. "What did I do? I'll fix it I promise. I promise I'll fix whatever you think went wrong."

You sighed, your breath shaking from the water gathering in your eyes. "There's nothing left to fix, sodapop. It's already shattered."

And with that, you pick up your bag, grab his hand and give it a small squeeze, your last touch of Sodapop Curtis, before walking out and not looking back once.

PONYBOY would be a mix between Darry and Soda. He wouldn't know what to do considering you were his first-ever girlfriend and he would also be heartbroken beyond belief. You would be a little mean about the breakup, not to hurt his feelings, but to make sure he never came back into your life. To make sure he thought you were gone for good and there was nothing he could do to change your mind.

"Ponyboy," you say, sitting up from being laid on his bed. "There's something I gotta talk to you about."

Convern layers through his eyes. "Yeah, sure. What's wrong?"

You sigh. "Before I say anything, I just want you to know that you are such a sweet guy and I will always appreciate you for everything you've done for me and all the sunsets you've shown me."

"Y/n," he begins, his voice much quieter now. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Pony," you say, wiping a tear from your cheek and standing up. "I can't be with you any more."

"What?" He asks, his voice cracking. He stays seated and just looks up at you in disbelief, not wanting to accept what you're saying.

"You're just too immature. I know we're only kids and that's what young boys do but I need someone who isn't gonna spend their life goofing around and starting fights with random people. I don't want to be with someone who has nothing lying ahead for them. Don't get me wrong, I think you're real sweet 'n all but it's just not good enough for me to stay. I'm sorry."

Tears were falling down his cheeks, somewhat gracefully, leaving a hot pink trail behind. He says nothing as he watches you leave his room, say goodbye to the gang as if you hadn't just shattered his heart, and walk out.

DALLAS would pretend to be unfazed. Especially if you hadn't been dating for that long. It would be short and snappy.

"I'm breaking up with you."

"Okay."

You're not gonna ask me why?"

"Nah."

-

However, if the two of you had been together for over a year, I'd say; he would be destroyed. You were the only thing he loved, apart from Johnny. You were the only person he had ever said those three words to you. You were his first everything, and now he had lost you. It was all his fault.

"Can I do anything to make you stay?" He asks, his cheeks a lot redder than usual and his eyebrows furrowed, a giveaway that he is upset.

"No," you say, as coldly as you can, wanting to get away and cry for a few days.

"So that's it then?" He says. "I tell you that I love you and this is how you repay me? I give you everything I have, knowing what it could do to my reputation, and this is what I get?"

He scoffs. "So much for love, huh?"

He would be the one to walk away from you, not having the power to throw an insult, just letting his heart slowly split in two as he feels his soul separate. He had not only lost you, but he had lost a part of himself, too.

JOHNNY was used to being left, uncared for, abandoned, and mistreated. But he never expected it from you, the one person he thought loved him. He would cry just like he did in the lot when he and Pony had that talk (Yk what I'm talking about).

"Johnny," you say. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asks, confusion written all over his face.

You sigh and lift up a bag of all of the things he had given or made you during your relationship. Cards, love letters, teddies, jackets, bracelets. Everything.

"I- I don't understand," he says, his eyes welling up with tears.

"It's not your fault, Johnny. It's me." You say, the words breaking your heart. "I just can't do it anymore. It's too much for me. I'm sorry."

"But-"

"Don't." You say. "If you say anything, I'll end up running back to you and apologising. I don't want to do this, Johnny. But it's what's best."

TWO-BIT definitely thinks you're joking at first, and thinks that you're playing some sick prank on him.

"Haha, very funny, sweetheart," he says. "But seriously, what did you want to say."

He swings an arm over your shoulders, causing you to push him away and glare at him.

"I'm not messin'" you say, watching his face drop.

"Huh?" Two-bit says. "I don't understand. Why are you doin' this?"

"I have to. I'm not happy, Kieth. I'm sure you'd rather be happy in the future without me than be depressed knowing that your girlfriend doesn't love you like she used to."

A tear slips from his eye. "You don't love me anymore?"

You shake your head, tears flowing down your face, painting the skin red. "No. I don't."

STEVE would be like Dally. He'd pretend to be so unbothered and then as soon as you leave, he'd gradually break down throughout a couple of days until he can't fight his emotions for much longer. He and Soda would sit and get so drunk to try and distract Steve from whatever was going on, Darry would constantly be checking in on him, and Dallas would be so beyond pissed at you for hurting him, you'd think there was a manhunt out for you.

"Honey," Steve says. "Is everything alright? You seem a little off lately. Is it something I did?"

You and Steve had been arguing a lot lately, and it was tiring the both of you out. It was either going to end now or end badly, no in-between.

"I think we should break up. Not take a break - break up." You said, straight to the point.

His face said all that his words didn't. His eyes pleaded for your forgiveness, the softness of his pupils melting into yours, his brown orbs absorbing you into his atmosphere like you were there for him and him only. You had to escape now before you were trapped forever.

"Okay."

He shrugs and leaves you there, in the middle of the street. Confused and alone. Just like you had left him.