#and don't even get me started on the people who didn't think their breakup was coming

[spacegyaru]

cw: very toxic shidou! also, i'm having a baby fever rn after meeting my bf's nieces sooo. also, they're both 23 here!

toxic! shidou ryusei is the type to make you beg no matter what the circumstances are. whether it's in and out of the bed, if he has the chance to be a menace, he totally would be.

you remember staring back at the two lines that your pregnancy test kits left three weeks after officially breaking up with him. you cursed at yourself upon seeing it.

"ugh fuck," you whispered to yourself, after looking at the white stick you just used. you discovered that you were officially pregnant with your ex-boyfriend, ryusei shidou's baby.

well, the circumstances of the breakup weren't exactly ideal. you loved shidou dearly, but he started becoming a little bit toxic. it all started when you asked to break up with him for the sake of your career, but he refused to— you ended up having make up sex until you forgot about breaking up. after that, whenever you guys start having an argument, he brings up the fact that you almost broke up with him, even to the point of accusing you for cheating— but he wasn't agressive. it was more of a taunt to you, given his smug personality.

eventually, you got sick of it and broke up with him. now, you're in your bathroom, thinking whether you should tell him or not. you sigh, setting down the three tests, and taking a photo of them.

if you're going to be honest, you'd love to have kids— babies to be exact. but you're not sure about who their dad would be. also, you're not sure if your menacing ex would be the ideal man for that. besides, you're broke right now... which means, you'll be needing his help.

so with a little bit of hesitation, you texted him after deleting his contact, and not talking for the past two weeks, sending him a photo of those three tests.

this is the first time he left you on read, and it made your blood boil. you were so mad.

after that, you tossed your phone on the bed. why were you hoping for a good response from shidou anyway? that's like waiting for a shooting star.

until the next night...

you couldn't stop your blood from boiling upon reading this. so you devised a plan to confront. the next day, you were angrily storming in to the sports arena, after his football practice. there's not a lot of people during that hour and he's usually the last person to leave. you entered the locker room, where you met him, with his towel hanging low from his hips. he smirked upon seeing you with an angry expression while approaching him.

"yo y/n—" shidou tried to greet you, but your palm came across his cheek. you slapped him with full of anger.

"you have the guts to greet me with a 'yo' when i just told you that i'm pregnant and you literally ignored me?!" you almost caused a scandal in the locker room, but it's a good thing that there's only the two of you in the whole place.

you thought shidou would argue back, but he didn't. he smirked, ignored you, and just got dressed. all while you waited for his answer. this is shidou's usual trick to provoke you. he's going to be quiet and wear a smug expression, until you get so angry... and eventually, you're gonna find yourself calming down.

"r-ryusei— hey, d-don't ignore me! hey!" you tried chasing him as he almost left while carrying his sports duffel bag, but you blocked his way, almost doing a t-pose. and he laughed upon you doing this. you got so embarrassed and flustered by his reaction.

"you're so funny, y/n." shidou said in a smug voice, "if you want my help, you gotta at least be nice to me, you know? you'll need to take me back to your life.~"

oh hell nah, shidou knows a lot. he knows that child was made by you and him. but of course... he won't give you what you want. not until you beg for it. not until you show him how dependent you are to him.

shidou didn't expect you to give in so fast though. but you had swallow your pride. you badly need his help.

"i-i— don't leave me alone, ryusei. this is your child too. i—" you were having a hard time blocking his way and he's surely having fun watching you chase him like this. "f-fine, i'll play nice and do whatever you want!"

again, for the third time, shidou managed to make himself crawl back in your life again. you could never get rid of this man.

[kashverse]

gojo calls you every name but your actual name—sweetheart, baby, pookie bear, sometimes even "oi, babe"—but never your actual name. so when he finally did, when he looked at you dead in the eyes and said it, your whole body stiffened. "are you okay?" you asked immediately, squinting at him like he was on his deathbed. "blink twice if you need help." you even reached out to check his forehead for a fever, because surely, this was a medical emergency. gojo just blinked at you, utterly confused, before doubling over in laughter. "you seriously think i'm unwell just 'cause i said your name? that's so messed up—i love it."

nanami calls you every name but your actual name—dear, love, sometimes just a heavy sigh paired with a side glance. so when he actually did, when his voice dropped and he spoke your name with the weight of a thousand bricks, you felt your stomach sink. "is this a breakup?" you blurted out before he could even continue. nanami blinked at you, his brow twitching. "what?" you crossed your arms. "you're using my actual name," you pointed out. "is this a professional resignation from this relationship?" nanami exhaled sharply, rubbing his temples. "no. i was just asking if you wanted coffee." but the damage was done. you spent the rest of the day side-eyeing him, just in case.

geto calls you every name but your actual name—angel, sunshine, princess, even "chipmunk" when you get on his nerves. so when he finally did, when he said your name with a certain weight, you panicked. "oh my god," you gasped. "you found out, didn't you?"

"found out what?" his eyes narrowed. "the shampoo," you admitted, guilt weighing heavy on your conscience. "i've been using your fancy shampoo. that’s why you keep running out so fast." geto just stared at you, eyes unreadable. then, very slowly, he leaned back, crossed his arms, and nodded. "that explains a lot."

"are you mad?"

"no. just disappointed." ouch.

toji calls you every name but your actual name—doll, sweetheart, brat, depending on his mood. so when he actually did, when he gritted out your name over the phone in the middle of the night, your stomach dropped. "oh my god," you whispered. "are you dying?"

"what?"

"you're out on a job, aren't you? is this a last words kind of call? should i be preparing for the worst?" toji groaned, the sound of gunfire faint in the background. "jesus. i just needed you to grab my extra ammo from the closet."

"oh."

"...but now that you mention it, maybe bring a first aid kit too."

choso calls you every name but your actual name—babe, honey, sometimes just a hum of acknowledgment. so when he actually did, when he uttered your name so carefully, you felt your chest tighten. "you're friendzoning me," you whispered, horror-stricken. "this is the end." choso blinked, his face scrunching up in genuine confusion. "what? no. i was just—"

"it's okay," you sniffed. "you wanted to let me down easy, huh? didn't want to go for the direct breakup."

"babe, i was literally just asking if you wanted extra sauce on your food." but it was too late. you had already started mourning your relationship.

sukuna calls you every name but your actual name—dove, brat, little one, sometimes even "human" when he's particularly irritated. so when he finally did, when his voice wrapped around your name with sharp precision, your survival instincts kicked in immediately. "listen, listen, i didn't do anything," you pleaded, hands raised. "whatever it is, it wasn't me. i swear. please don't kill me." sukuna just stared at you, unimpressed. "i was literally just calling you."

"yeah, exactly," you said, eyes darting for possible escape routes. "why would you use my actual name unless i'm in serious danger? is this a death sentence? am i about to be vaporized?" sukuna rolled his eyes, exhaling sharply. "you're so dramatic."

"says the one who tears people apart for fun!"

[differenteagletragedy]

The thing where you're Price's neighbor -- you move in while he's on leave, and he meets you while you're moving the few belongings you have into your new place. He's good at reading people and can sense that you're sad and broken, despite the tentative smile you give him when you shake his hand.

And it's not like there's some immediate spark. You're pretty, sure, and sometimes he might sneak a little look while he's walking behind you up the stairs when the elevator goes out again, but he's not falling in love.

Not yet, anyway.

It's not until one night, just before he's set to leave again, that he starts to think maybe this could be something. When he begins to toy with the idea that he might let himself feel something real for you.

He hears you crying through his bedroom wall. He's been in your apartment a few times, helping you bring in your groceries, little neighborly things like that, so he knows your home mirrors his own. He can almost imagine you there, laying in your bed, crying over whatever had happened to make you look so small and sorrowful all the time.

It's hard to hear, but he's made a living out of doing things that are too hard for most people. But then he hears one particularly pitiful sob, a little hitch in your breath as you cry, and it's enough for him to pull a pair of jeans on and knock on your door.

You're embarrassed when you answer it, and you try to make it look like you weren't crying, but something in the warm, knowing look in his eyes, the small, tight smile he gives you sets you off again, and before you know it, he's ushering you out of your apartment and into his, guiding you to sit on his couch and moving into the kitchen.

"I'll make you some tea, love," he tells you in his quiet, gruff voice. "You just sit tight."

"John, you don't have to, it's late and --"

He cuts you off with a chuckle, glancing to you from behind the counter as he asks, "You really think you could make me do something I didn't want to do?"

You give in -- of course you couldn't -- and soon he's sitting on the other end of the couch, arms crossed over his broad chest, and he waits. He gives you a choice to talk about it if you want, or to quietly enjoy his company if you don't.

But you're tired, both physically and of feeling this way, and so you unload everything. How you moved here after a rough breakup, your ex was a jerk who didn't want to let go. He'd called you again earlier, which was what had gotten you upset.

And Price listens to all of it. Even as he feels a surge of anger at the thought of someone making you -- sweet, soft little you -- feel that way. He lets you get it all out, and when you're done, he can't help but reach out a hand to give you a light tap on your shoulder.

"Well, pet, I'll tell you what," he says softly. "Next time he calls, you come give the phone to me, yeah?"

It feels protective, the way he says it, like he wants to keep you safe. It's sweet, and it makes you smile. A real smile this time, one that finally meets your eyes.

And there it is -- the moment that John knows he's all in.

You talk for a while longer, more lighthearted conversation that flows easily. It lasts long enough that by the time you leave to go back to your apartment and back to bed, he realizes that it makes more sense to stay awake until it's time to leave.

He's gone for weeks on a mission, and so much of the time, his mind wanders back to you. How that smile lit up your face, and how he wanted nothing more than to bring that smile out as often as he could. He dreams up ways he'll tell you how he feels, plans out different scenarios for how you might react.

It's almost tactical, how much thought he puts into it. But, for better or for worse, he's a man with a plan. And by the time he gets back home, he has what he feels like is a foolproof one.

The plan goes out the window when he knocks on your door and is greeted by a man. A tall, thin man he could break over his knee if he wanted to (and in that moment, he very much wants to).

Price asks for you, nervous for a moment that you'd somehow moved out in the time he was gone and that this man is his new neighbor, but then the man turns and calls out your name, and you walk out from the bedroom.

You won't meet his eyes, and he understands immediately what's going on -- this man is your ex, who seems to have weaseled his way back into your life.

Price clears his throat, looking down at you.

"Just came to check on you, love," he says quietly. "Wanted to let you know I'm back."

You do look at him then, and smile softly at him, but it's not the beautiful, radiant one he'd thought about so often while he was away. No, it's the fake one. It's meaningless, a perfunctory twitch of muscle.

You're broken again.

That simply won't do, will it?

[gildeddlily]

absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!

so.

are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)

reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!

so.

after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.

then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!

I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.

then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.

that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!

and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.

they love each other so much!!

this is Nagi.

he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).

he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.

because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.

he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.

Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.

he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.

(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)

this is Reo!

he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".

he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?

who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?

it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.

something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.

the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.

Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.

for that, he has to work.

so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.

(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)

at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.

He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.

it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.

2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!

so they split up.

Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.

Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.

while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.

he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.

(metaphor isn't metaphoring)

Reo doesn't know that.

he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.

Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.

Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.

He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.

Neither of them forgets the other.

Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.

the only difference?

Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.

so Nagi changes.

he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.

different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?

he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.

because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.

Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.

"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"

he changes.

Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.

and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?

(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)

what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?

he needs to change too.

3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)

Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.

Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?

he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself

he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.

He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.

"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"

he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.

instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.

he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.

(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.

Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)

now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.

this is how Reo changes.

4. miscommunication is a beast

As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.

he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.

he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.

"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.

and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.

when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.

and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.

he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.

+) 5. being relatable as fuck

(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")

Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?

he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.

he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?

he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.

so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.

isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.

and now.

in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?

I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.

they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.

don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)

[alchemistc]

Buck's halfway through his third cup of startlingly bad coffee when Josh pushes the door to the breakroom open, looking mildly concerned in the half second before someone else looms over his shoulder.

He's too numb to do much more than take another sip of coffee as he watches Josh usher Tommy in.

The door clicks shut behind him. Buck wonders for a moment if Tommy's ever actually been to the new dispatch headquarters before. If he ever went to the old one, charming grin on his face while he waited for Abby to finish up so he could take her out, drive her home while her car was in the shop - but no, Tommy would have worked on it himself, maybe.

Had Josh recognized him, that first time, with half of his soot on Buck's face, and just never said anything?

The silence is tense. They're in a fishbowl, no room to lash out even if either of them wanted to because more than half the people working in this place can see them if they just tip their head to the side.

"How can I help?"

It's - his voice is strained, scared, worried. Buck doesn't have a single guess as to how he knows. Maybe Bobby. It's the only person he can think of who would have -.

Buck snorts. "I rebounded with a serial killer who just kidnapped my sister and my baby niece or nephew. I don't - I'm not sure what you want."

He glances up just in time to see the end of Tommy's grimace. Good. He's not sure how much more disastrous of a choice he could have made to try to get Tommy out of his system, but at least it hurts him to know. At least...

"Do you want me to go?"

Buck can't remember anyone asking, before. Usually they just... leave. Get up, walk out, disappear. Tommy bubbled Buck five times in three months. Buck went through seven bags of flour before he drove Eddie to the airport.

His voice shakes on his "No," and Tommy is there, all of the sudden, his hand hovering just over Buck's shoulder, like he realized halfway there it might not be welcome. "Do you still think I need to keep looking for someone better than you?"

It'd been seeing Tommy out with a guy that'd prompted him to stop fucking baking and make an effort to just...get over it But with Eddie away, and the rest of the 118 so wrapped up in their lives, there weren't a whole lot of outlets for that. And it's been easy to willfully misinterpret Tommy's breakup speech. Or - interpret it in the most hurtful way possible.

"Is this what you want to do right now?" Tommy asks, even and measured. "Will this help?"

"I want my sister back!"

Tommy takes a step back. His hands shift to his pockets, and Buck just wants -

"Why are you here?"

He tips his head up. Holds Tommy's gaze. Tommy flounders in a way Buck's never seen before.

He looks - tired. Good. White Henley under a flannel Buck had always told him brought out his eyes. The jeans Buck had stolen once or twice because they made his ass look good. His hair's grown in at the sides, and the sprinkling of greys are more obvious than the last time he'd seen it this length.

"I just... didn't want you to be alone."

Tears threaten at the corners of his eyes. He wants to laugh, but he's terrified if he starts he won't be able to hold in the fear. "When did that change?"

Tommy gnaws on his cheek. "You have so many people, Buck. You have -."

"I don't want emotional repression Tommy here, so if you're just here to keep me distracted until someone else can be here you should just... go."

Something flashes in his gaze. Anger, maybe. Terror.

"Please let me stay."

It hurts, to hear it. It hurts to hear the trepidation in his voice as he says it. Buck just wants to pull him in, tuck his face into the curve of his neck, soak in the warmth of his arms.

Buck spends too long staring at his knees. Long enough for Tommy to shift, to sigh, to nod his head decisively out of the corner of Buck's eye.

The word is stuck in his throat. Has been for months, since Tommy looked at him with teary eyes and walked away.

"I won't be able to let you go again."

He's already half turned away. Buck can only see half his expression as his eyes dip closed. He swallows. Nods, again.

Buck can't watch him push back through that door, so he stares at the toes of his boots until his vision starts to blur.

A second pair of toes swim into his eyeline. A hand shifts through his curls, snagging on knots, digging towards his scalp, and he can't quite bite back the sob. The arms that reach for him are warm, big and familiar, and Buck gives himself over to the panic and the fear that have been clawing at his chest for hours now. Tommy says something - whispers it into the air above Buck's head over and over, but Buck can't - he just -

He presses his face into Tommy's stomach, digs his fingers into the back of his shirt, sucks in horrible, gasping breaths. It's not enough. Nothing will be until he's got Maddie in his arms.

But it's more than he had an hour ago.

"Stay," he manages, and Tommy's fingers curl around Buck's neck and hold.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FOR FAKE DATING & GOING UNDERCOVER *  assorted dialogue for muses going undercover as a couple and having to maintain the illusion that they're dating, and all the chaos, feelings, and whatnot that come with it, suggested by dollhidden, adjust as necessary, send "reverse" for the reversal of action prompts

DIALOGUE PROMPTS

come on. at least pretend that you like me.

if we hold hands, that'll sell the illusion even more.

what petnames do you think we'd use if we were actually dating?

please don't make this too difficult on me.

stop letting go of my hand.

you're going to pay for this later.

that was way too close of a call.

[petname]? that's what we're going with?

could you at least look like you like me for an hour? is that so hard?

admit it. i'm not half bad.

didn't think i would enjoy this as much as i am.

did you take acting classes growing up?

excuse me! i'm just trying to sell the illusion!

do you think they bought it?

you don't look like you love me. you look like you're constipated.

way to lay it on thick. i think you might have done too good of a job.

pretend to laugh at one of my jokes.

i guess i didn't expect you to dress up for this. i'm impressed.

you know, if you treated me like that on the regular, i might actually start falling in love with you.

they have to believe we're together. how hard can it be?

quick, pretend like you're about to kiss me.

you clearly care more about the tiny appetizers than you do me.

i'm just here for the free champagne.

you clean up nice.

that honestly wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.

they're looking over here. quick, say something funny.

that... was surprisingly smooth of you.

you don't date much, do you?

we should pretend to date more often.

hey! my eyes are up here!

shit, they're coming. kiss me.

ACTION PROMPTS all of these are written as if both parties are fake dating and going undercover at some specified event, but feel free to add your own scenarios if you'd like!

[ hand ] sender quickly takes receiver's hand in public to avoid getting caught

[ waist ] sender quickly slides an arm around receiver's waist in public to avoid getting caught

[ propose ] sender stages a dramatic fake proposal to further sell their relationship to the crowd, catching receiver completely off guard

[ fake fight ] sender and receiver stage a coordinated fake fight/messy breakup in front of the crowd

[ kiss ] realizing they need to sell their relationship to an important person/people, sender and receiver kiss for the first time

[ coat ] noticing receiver is cold, sender gives them their coat

[ entrance ] sender and receiver approach the entrance of the secret event and discuss their plans for selling their fake relationship to the crowd

[ slip away ] sender slips away from receiver in order to take a break from pretending, and receiver goes to find them

[ off limits ] sender and receiver are exploring an off limit portion of the event space, get caught, and are forced to try to explain how they got lost

[ the big kiss ] to conceal the fact that they're exploring an off limit portion of the event space, sender kisses receiver dramatically once they're caught

[ introduce ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to a very important (and potentially dangerous) person at this event

[ family ] sender introduces receiver as their lover/date/partner to their family, who just so happens to also be at the event

[ lost ] sender loses receiver in the crowd and rushes to relocate them before their cover is blown

[ flirt ] when someone else shows interest in receiver, sender steps in and makes it clear they're "taken"

[ exit ] sender and receiver have successfully accomplished their goal, and now must sneak out of the event as covertly as possible

[ spill ] sender accidentally spills their drink on receiver and rushes them to the restroom to clean them up

[ private ] in a brief moment of privacy between the two fake daters, sender admits to receiver that they don't think receiver is as bad as they thought

[cjlouwho]

tags: violence (gay bashing), homophobic slurs, blood, hurt/comfort, angst, healing, heading toward getting back together, happy-enough ending

(ao3 link or read below)

Like Fine China

“Hey, I need you to keep your eyes open for me, okay? You hear me? Try to keep your eyes open.”

He recognized that voice. The last time he'd heard it was just a few weeks ago, at the hospital. Who was it for though? Why was he at the hospital that time?

His brain felt like a jumbled mess. His body felt even worse.

He just wanted to sleep.

“Tommy! Tommy, can you hear me?”

Athena! That's who was speaking to him.

He opened his mouth, cracked one eye open. God, it hurt!

“I- I'm,” the words felt foreign as they escaped him. His voice didn't sound like his own. His mouth was dry, and held a bad taste.

Whiskey and... and metal.

Blood.

“Tommy, paramedics are on their way, okay? I just need you to stay with me until they get here.”

It was dark, but something was shining bright in his face.

“Flash... Flashlight,” he managed to get out, squeezing his eye back shut.

“Eyes- Eye open, Tommy. I'll get the flashlight out of your face, but I need to know you're with me.”

Wait. Had she said paramedics? They couldn't. He couldn't let them- let him see.

“No, no, no,” he mumbled out, shaking his head a couple times until a sharp pain shot through it. “No, h- he can't. I don't-”

“They're not on shift, Tommy.”

He tried to push himself up, away from where she hovered over him. He didn't manage to get very far before she placed a hand on his chest.

“Tommy, you cannot get up. I need you to stay still, and stay conscious. Those two things are your only jobs. You hear me?”

“I can't,” his words were so garbled. He coughed up the blood that'd been dripping down his throat.

I can't let him see.”

“Listen to me, Tommy!” Athena exclaimed, getting right in Tommy's face. He could barely see her, but he could feel her breath on his face. “They're not coming. Buck isn't coming; it'll be someone else.”

In the distance, he heard the sound of sirens. He didn't feel relief. Didn't feel much of anything at all. He was fading, fast. It took all his energy to force out one last sentence before he lost consciousness. “Don't... Don't tell him.”

*****

He just wanted to go out for a drink. Something a little stronger than craft beer.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Evan- no, Buck. He was Buck now.

It'd been two weeks since he broke up with Buck and the ache in his chest felt the same way it did the second he walked out of the loft.

He'd thought he was saving himself from future heartbreak, and maybe he was, but it didn't quite make it hurt any less.

Georgie's wasn't exactly a gay bar, but Georgie was gay and the bar itself became a sort of unofficial hang out for older people in the lgbtq+ community. No loud music and everyone left each other alone. A perfect place to decompress while still allowing yourself to be free.

After a couple of whiskey sours, and yeah, a pitcher of craft beer, Tommy was ready to go.

He waited outside, near the alleyway, for his Uber. He found himself going to his messages, hovering over Evan's name. He hadn't had the heart to change it to Buck yet.

He'd been wanting to text him since the breakup. Talk about it some more. Actually give a reason for why it- why he- fell apart so fast. How Buck's words triggered some terrible memories for him. How he suddenly realized there was no way he could be everything he thought Buck needed. Everything Buck deserved. Not to mention they hadn't even exchanged I love you's. And it was insane to think all of Tommy's things could fit in Buck's loft. Buck's things could fit in his house so much easier!

He clicked on Evan's name, started to type something out, erased it, started again, erased it again.

He was usually so aware of his surroundings. His time in the military did that to him. It did a lot of things to him actually, many of which he wasn't very thankful for. However, he prided himself on not being oblivious.

Tonight he was oblivious.

He didn't expect five men to jump him at once. He was a strong guy. Had taken on three men about fifteen years earlier. Did it with ease too.

But not five men. Not when one had a bat, and one had brass knuckles, and one was at least 6'5 and three hundred pounds. Not when they dragged him to the ground and into the alley before he had a chance to react. Screaming slurs at him as they took turns using his body as a punching bag.

He tried to fight. At one point, he was sure he kicked one of the guy's in the face. Heard him yell something like, “The fag broke my tooth!”

It only made things worse.

He wasn't sure when he first lost consciousness, but he knew they were still on top of him. Still laughing as they hit and kicked. He heard the sounds of someone spitting at some point. Felt wet on his face.

Then there was nothing.

Until someone stepped out from somewhere, and maybe they heard him groan? Maybe it was his Uber driver wondering where he was? Maybe it was an employee taking out the trash? He wasn't sure. He could barely hear someone telling him they were calling the police. There was a ringing in his ears, and his lungs felt like they were on fire. Someone said something about wheezing, barely breathing. He wondered what that was about.

Then there was Athena. Then nothing again.

*****

The next time Tommy opened his eyes, he was in a dimly lit hospital room. He was confused. Could barely see out of one eye and everything was blurry out of the other.

His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and maybe some tiny humans hitting his brain with hammers.

“Are you... awake awake or not really awake?”

The sound of a man's voice startled him. He couldn't hardly move, but he was able to focus his eyes across the room at the figure in the corner.

“Ed- Eddie?”

God, his voice sounded weird. Why did it sound like that? Like he'd spent the last 30 years smoking a pack a day.

“Yeah, I'm here.”

He sounded hesitant. Maybe they'd had this conversation before? If they had, Tommy certainly didn't remember it.

“Wha- Why?”

Eddie stepped closer. “You're in the hospital, Man.”

Tommy wanted to roll his eyes. No duh.

He settled for clearing his throat, which turned into a burning sensation running down his chest. “Why're you... here?” he tried. Hoped Eddie understood that much.

“Tommy-”

“I t- told Athena-” he had to pause to take a breath. “Told her not to tell.”

“Actually, you told Athena not to tell him. And she assumed, correctly, I'm sure, that him was Buck. So she called me instead.”

Tommy closed his eyes. “Why?”

“Why'd she call me? Oh, maybe because you don't have anyone listed as an emergency contact and you were nearly beat to death so she figured you might need someone to be here when you woke up.”

Tommy's jaw clenched at Eddie's harsh words.

Nearly beat to death.

He was nearly beat to death.

Eddie either noticed Tommy's heart rate going up on the monitor, or his eyes filling with tears, because he was right beside his bed in two strides. “Sorry,” he said. “Sorry, I- I'm kinda pissed, Man.”

“S'okay,” Tommy replied, swallowing hard. “I deserve it.”

Eddie looked taken aback. “No, I'm not- Tommy, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at this,” he said, gesturing over Tommy's body. “I've never seen...” Eddie's voice trailed off and, through Tommy's own blurry vision, he could see that Eddie was close to crying.

“What'd they do to me?” Tommy asked, barely able to take in all his injuries. His entire body hurt, no part any worse or less than the other. He could feel something on every limb, but he couldn't quite move his head around enough to see what it was.

Eddie took a deep breath. He wiped at his eyes with his fingers, sniffling before getting started. “You've got bruising on about seventy-five percent of your body. You had surgery for a busted kneecap on your right knee. Your left arm has a fracture, and your right one has thirty stitches, I think. They broke a few ribs, so it's gonna hurt like hell when you take a deep breath or cough. Um, you had some internal bleeding, but they got that under control pretty fast. You've got a fracture in your cheek, which may cause some extra pain when you talk. You've got a few broken fingers too, and lost a couple fingernails during your- when you were defending yourself.”

“Hm,” Tommy hummed once Eddie was done. “S'that all?”

Eddie shook his head, rolling his eyes. “I'm sure I missed a couple things, actually, jackass.”

Tommy let out a laugh, which quickly turned into a groan. “Thanks for coming, Eddie,” he said, trying and failing at moving himself into a slightly more comfortable position. “You don't have to stay though. I'll be fine.”

Eddie stared at him incredulously. “You're kidding me.”

Tommy shifted his eyes back in Eddie's direction. “No, I- I'll be okay. I've got it. Just,” he paused to take a breath, “don't let Buck know, please.”

Eddie raised a finger toward Tommy. “Well, see, about that. You only told Athena not to tell him before, and-”

“You didn't.”

“-and see he was already at my place when I got the call, so-”

“Please tell me you didn't.”

“I have one with cream and one with sugar and- Oh my God, you're awake!” The sound of Buck's voice had Tommy's head twisting toward the door so quickly that a pain shot from the bottom of his back all the way to the top of his head. “Ow!” he yelped, clenching his teeth and tossing his head against the pillow, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Oh my God. Has the nurse come in yet? Have they checked his vitals? Eddie, you said he'd be out for a while! Tommy, do you feel any nausea? Do you remember who we are? The nurses said you might have-”

“Buck!” Eddie exclaimed. “Stop. He's okay.” He glanced over at Tommy, “I did forget to mention the head trauma.”

Tommy groaned, giving him a glare.

Eddie walked over to Buck and took the drink carrier from his hands. “I'll go find a nurse, you stay with him.”

Tommy wanted to yell out to Eddie to please not go, and also screw you, and maybe throw a couple hand gestures in there too. He stayed silent instead.

Buck looked Tommy up and down, hesitating slightly before walking up to the side of the bed. “So, you're-”

“I want to see myself,” Tommy blurted.

“Oh, um, I... Tommy, I don't. It might be better to wait.”

Tommy managed to move his head enough to look up at Buck. He could see the fear- no, the panic- in Buck's eyes.

“I wanna see," he repeated.

“Tommy-”

“Buck!” It took a lot of strength to get his name out so forcefully, and he didn't quite mean it to sound as angry as it did, but this wasn't Buck's decision. It was his. And he wanted to see what he looked like.

Buck pulled his phone from his back pocket, his hands shaking slightly as he pulled up the camera.

Slowly, he lifted the phone up to Tommy's face.

The second it registered that he was looking at himself, Tommy sucked in a breath. He grimaced as pain radiated through his chest but, when Buck went to move the camera away he stopped him. “No,” he said. “Just. Just wait.”

He knew his eyes were swollen by how out of focus his vision was, but he had no idea just how bad they looked. The right was worse than the left, but both were an angry mixture of black, purple, and green. The bruise on the left side of his face ran down his cheek to his jaw, circling underneath his chin like a half moon and fading into his facial hair. There were marks on his neck. Looked like someone's hand. He could understand Eddie's hesitancy on mentioning that. He didn't remember anyone gripping him there, which was probably for the best.

His forehead had more bruises, and cuts too. There was dried blood at his hairline, some stitched up cuts. His curly hair was nearly matted to his head, his scalp a brutal crimson.

“I tried to wash the blood out of your hair with a washcloth,” Buck explained anxiously, “but you have some lacerations on your scalp and I didn't want to bother them until they healed a little more.”

It was all so overwhelming. There was a whirring sound in his ears that made him feel dizzy. His eyes burned as they filled with tears that he didn't have the strength to wipe away.

“Okay,” he said, his voice uneven. He cleared his throat. “Can you- You can go, please. I don't... You can go.”

“Tommy-”

“Ev- Buck, I'm awake, I'm fine, I don't need anyone here.” He stared straight ahead, unable to look Buck in the eyes. “Please.”

“No.”

Tommy really didn't feel like dealing with stubborn Evan right now. “I don't-”

“I don't really care, Tommy. I'm not leaving you here. I've been at this damn hospital for three days now and I'm staying until you go home. I don't care what-”

He was cut off by the sound of footsteps behind him.

“Got the nurse,” Eddie said, an awkward smile on his face. The nurse, to her credit, ignored all the tension in the room.

“Let me get some hand sanitizer and gloves and I'll be right with you, Mr. Kinard.”

Buck sighed. He stepped even closer to Tommy. “I'm gonna go into the hall long enough for the nurse to check you out,” he said, maneuvering himself until he was halfway leaning over the bed, his arm on the other side of Tommy to prop himself up as he forced him to make eye contact. “I will be back in a few minutes. You have people who care about you, Tommy, whether you like it or not.”

With that said, Buck stood back up and left the room.

*****

Tommy spent a few more days in the hospital before he was released. There were only two times that Buck left long enough to get a shower and get a little rest in a real bed. Both of those times, he made sure Eddie was there the entire time.

Athena had come in to get his statement. Asked him all sorts of questions, most of which Tommy couldn't answer. He hadn't really gotten a good look at them. Only had very basic descriptions. He remembered the slurs they had hurled at him, knew they attacked because he was gay. He couldn't really figure out how they knew though. Besides being outside of that bar, it wasn't like Tommy ever did anything that screamed gay. Not that it mattered.

She'd been honest with him. There were no cameras at that part of the street, or in the alleyway. No one got a good description of the attackers, and the person who called the police only saw their shadows as they disappeared into the night. She'd do everything she could, but it wasn't likely they'd find these men. At least, not until they did this again.

Bobby stopped by once with some homemade chicken noodle soup. Buck had to feed him every bite, which made Tommy feel like he was about to cry the entire time, but he managed half a bowl before he had to stop. It was a million times better than anything the hospital had been feeding him, and he was glad to know Bobby had put some in his freezer to give Tommy when he got home.

Chim and Maddie came one evening. He'd been asleep when they got there, woke up some time during their visit, but he kept his eyes shut until they left.

Honestly, every time someone walked through the doors he felt more and more like running out of the hospital and finding a hole to fall into. Then, if he were lucky, someone would just shovel some dirt over him and let him rest.

These weren't his people. They were Buck's people. They didn't need to be there for him. They needed to hate him. They needed to laugh at his bruises and tell him he deserved every last one. They needed to yell at him for breaking Buck's heart to try and save his own.

That'd be a lot easier than this.

Thankfully, Hen and Karen didn't come by. They did send flowers though, and a card that explained both kids had strep throat and they didn't want to risk bringing that to the hospital. They'd come by Tommy's place once he was home.

He and Buck didn't talk about anything that needed to be talked about. All the unsent messages that had swirled through Tommy's mind didn't matter right now. It was like an unspoken rule between the two of them. Right now was not the time to try and fix whatever happened between them. Right now was about Tommy healing.

*****

As soon as they got Tommy home, Buck left Eddie with him so he could go to the pharmacy and pick up his medications. When he got back, Eddie headed out to go home and rest, promising to come back later with a variety of foods that would be easy on Tommy to eat.

The silence felt more... silent at Tommy's house. It was different now that they were at home instead of a hospital with people coming in and out at all times.

Tommy needed to do something, say something, to break the silence.

“I wasn't on a date,” he muttered out as Buck organized his pain meds on his nightstand.

Buck paused briefly before getting right back to it. “Didn't think you were.”

Tommy nodded. “Okay. I just, I don't know, didn't want you to think that.”

“You go to Georgie's when your brain is working overtime and you need it to quiet down.”

Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. “I didn't know I ever told you that.”

“You didn't,” Buck replied, handing Tommy his pills and a glass of water. “I just know you.”

Tommy swallowed the pills, wincing slightly. His throat still felt scratchy even a week later. “I don't know how they knew,” he said as Buck took the water from him and set it on his nightstand.

“Who knew what?”

“Those guys that-” he stopped. “I don't know how they knew I was gay.”

“A lot of queer people hang out at Georgie's,” Buck answered. “They probably took a guess.”

The thought of it made Tommy's stomach lurch. “I've spent most of my life trying to make sure people couldn't guess.”

Buck watched him for a moment quizzically. “Tommy, you're not... You don't blame yourself for this, do you? You know this wasn't your fault, right?”

Tommy avoided eye contact with Buck. He felt so small right now. “I know I didn't do anything to provoke them.”

“That doesn't really answer my question.”

“I just... I don't know what I could have done differently. I know I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings. I... I should probably go to a different bar, maybe. I don't know.”

“You can't be serious right now.”

“This is everything I feared my entire life, Buck,” Tommy admitted and, God, he wished he could shut up right now. The pain pills were starting to make him a little loose lipped, mixed with him truly being alone with Buck for the first time since they broke up, mixed with an undeniable fear every time he thought about that night, seemed to make it impossible to close his mouth. “I did everything to make sure nothing like this would ever happen to me and it still did. I keep thinking about it and wondering how it could have been different. How I could have been different.”

“Tommy, can you look at me?”

Slowly, Tommy looked up at Buck, his eyes shining with tears.

“This was not your fault. There's nothing you could or should have done differently. You cannot let those five men shove you back into a closet.”

“I-” Tommy cleared his throat. “They're not. It's just... a lot right now.”

“I get that, I- I do. You look tired. Why don't you rest for a bit, okay? I'll be here when you wake up.”

“Buck, you don't-”

“If you tell me I don't need to stay I will force feed you bone broth when you wake up.”

Tommy shivered. “Ugh! I hate bone broth.”

“I know you do.” Buck gently pulled a pillow out from under Tommy, allowing him to lie back easier. “Close your eyes, get some rest. I'm here when you need me.”

*****

They were bound to fight sometime. Tommy had honestly expected it to happen sooner. Buck had been staying with him for three weeks now, only gone when he was working a shift. Bobby had let him work part time for now, with Carla caring for him when Buck was gone.

They'd managed to get past the initial awkwardness. Buck rambled about any and every subject he could think of. They'd watch movies together on the couch, with Tommy falling asleep halfway through due to his pain meds.

Buck would get Tommy tucked in bed, then set himself up on Tommy's floor in case he was needed during the night. Tommy had tried to insist he use the spare room, but Buck wouldn't hear of it. He knew Tommy wouldn't call for him if he needed him through the night.

Then Tommy tried to suggest he sleep in the bed. But that was a no go because, “I kick, Tommy, you know this. Do you really want another knee surgery?”

They'd been focused on Tommy getting better. And they'd been ignoring the many, many elephants in the room.

So, a fight was expected.

What wasn't expected was for the fight to start because Tommy needed to pee.

Buck had seemed a bit more on edge today, but Tommy chalked that up to a shift that ran longer than expected.

Tommy had grabbed his crutches, which he'd just been able to start using to go short distances. He still didn't quite trust himself to use them at night, but he was working toward relying on them more and relying on people less.

When he stood, Buck immediately stood with him.

“I'm fine, Buck. I just need to go to the bathroom.”

“I'll help you there.”

“I'm really fine. I can get there by myself.”

Tommy was sure he had kept his tone neutral. He definitely didn't want an argument tonight. But, before he could even make it two steps, he heard Buck scoff. “Not surprised.”

And maybe it was the full bladder making him extra bitchy, but Tommy couldn't help turning around and asking, “What's that mean?”

Buck shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing.”

“Obviously it's not nothing. If it were nothing you wouldn't have said anything in the first place. What doesn't surprise you?”

“Just you, ya know, pushing people away. It's what you do.”

“Ha!” Tommy laughed out. “If I'm pushing people away then I really suck at it because you haven't left my house in three weeks. I just need to pee.”

“I'm not talking about right now. I'm talking about me telling you that I loved you and you breaking up with me.”

How in the hell did they end up here?

“You didn't tell me you loved me, Evan!” Tommy exclaimed, unbelievably confused. The sudden change in tone caused Buck to take a step back.

He was only thrown off for a second, quick with a retort. “Of course I did!”

“No, you absolutely did not! You asked me to move in with you, but you did not tell me you loved me.”

“Wait. You asked him to move in with you?” Eddie's voice had them glaring in his direction. Both had forgotten he was even there in the first place. He raised his hands. “Sorry.”

“Well, I- it was obviously implied,” Buck argued. “I wouldn't have asked you to move in if I didn't love you.”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that?! You were making it sound like I was some gay hero that sewed the first pride flag! I don't even go to pride events, Evan! All the colors are far too bright and the glitter never leaves you.”

“Glitter is really annoying,” Eddie agreed.

Tommy pointed a crutch at him. “Thank you.”

“I was not trying to make you out to be some gay hero, Tommy! I was telling you that I was comfortable with you. I was telling you I wanted to spend all my time with you. I wanted us to be together!”

“You didn't even think it through, Evan!” Tommy motioned around the room. “I own a home. It comes with two bedrooms that have doors, a garage, a back yard, and two and a half bathrooms. You asked me to move into your loft.”

Eddie shook his head. “Oh, Buck.”

Buck's eyes shot over to him. “You're still here why?”

Eddie stood from his spot on the couch, grabbing his coat. “Yeah, I'm going. Later.”

They both stayed silent until they heard the door open and close.

Buck opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “This is our first fight, isn't it?”

Tommy nodded. “It is.”

“Took us long enough.”

Tommy managed a small smile. “Probably should have fought you that night, honestly.”

“I think I would have felt better if you did.”

“Me too.” Tommy took a deep breath. “I actually really do have to pee,” he said, shifting from one crutch to the other. “Can we pause this until I'm done?”

Buck nodded. “I'll be here.”

They didn't actually fight anymore after that. It was time for Tommy to take his meds, which made him tired, and Buck was tired himself from his shift. Tommy laid in bed, Buck snoring on the floor beside him, thinking it all over. All the things he still felt like he needed to say. The unfinished business they had between them.

The fight wasn't much, but it was something.

It was enough.

For now.

*****

“Are you sure you're good on your own?” Buck asked as Tommy limped behind him toward the door.

“I'm sure. I can successfully do everything on my own now with minimal to no pain.”

Buck turned back to him quickly, eyes wide. “But there's still pain?”

Tommy smiled. “I'm fine, Evan.”

Buck didn't look so sure. “Okay, I... Okay.” Instinctively, he moved forward to wrap Tommy in a hug. He stopped himself before he got too close, but Tommy responded by opening his arms.

Buck's posture relaxed as he gently wrapped his arms around Tommy, careful not to squeeze too tightly. "I was so worried about you," he whispered in the space between them.

"I know."

“You'll call the number I gave you?” he asked.

“I already did yesterday,” Tommy admitted. “When you went out to pick up dinner. My first session is next Monday.”

“Good. That's... That's good.”

“Thank you, Evan. For everything you've done for me. You didn't have to do that.”

Reluctantly, Buck pulled himself away from Tommy.

“Did you realize you've been calling me Evan since our fight a couple weeks ago?” he asked, lips upturning into a smile.

“Oh, um,” Tommy shifted on his feet, taking the pressure off his bad knee. “Sorry. Habit.”

“Don't be sorry. I hate when you call me Buck.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I'll always- I wanna be Evan, to you.”

Tommy nodded, staring into Evan's eyes. “Okay. That's. I'd like that too.”

Buck continued toward the door, stopping again as soon as his hand touched the handle. He looked back. “Hey, Tommy?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time you think about texting me... hit send, okay?”

Tommy had never mentioned that before. But he'd caught Buck's near-texts to him too, so it didn't quite catch him off guard. “I'm kinda a mess, Evan. I'm not as comfortable as you think I am. I'm not... I'm still figuring things out.”

“That's okay. I am too. Text me anyway.”

“Even if I'm asking you out for a coffee? So we can talk? Really talk?”

“Date and time, I'll be there.” Buck smiled softly at him as he opened the door to leave. “I'll get your order right this time.”

[hannieoftheyear]

love personified (k.mg)

walking back home from your breakup, just hours before valentine's day is finally over, you encounter a pretty stranger who seems to know everything you want

🏹 pairing: cupid!mingyu x f!reader

🏹 w.c: 5,6k

🏹 genre: supernatural au, smut, fluff, angst. MDNI.

🏹 warnings: mingyu's a bit of a stalker, has superpowers, is very strong and he also flies (important for later), mention of a break up and talks about the future | smut warnings: flying sex? like in the sky... yeah, dirty talk, praise, fingering (f. rec), unprotected sex (don't be stupid like them).

🏹 note: i first intended to make this more fluffy but something took over me and added plot and then the smut and the angst and here we are

🏹 note 2: the beginning was HEAVILY inspired by damon and elena's first meeting in the vampire diaries, also stole some dialogue from the scene heh.

🏹 last note i swear: I tried to make a banner, and idk how to feel about it... but I wanted something new! I'll see if I keep them for the future

dividers used: candy hearts, heartbeat

hope you like this! can't wait to read your thoughts <3

February is always the hardest, most chaotic month to work as cupid. During the rest of the year, Mingyu feels like he has all the time in the world to find someone’s perfect match, to set up meet-cutes and “coincidences” for people to realize their feelings. But as the clock ticks and January 31st becomes February 1st, people’s need to find the perfect Valentine’s Day date intensifies, and they start looking for dates themselves instead of letting him do his job.

Mingyu has to work overtime to make sure every person he’s singled out doesn’t mess up. He doesn’t have time for couples, even if he made the match or not, so he usually deals with their problems once the holiday is over. 

That’s why he didn’t notice you’d been fighting with your boyfriend all day. 

Mingyu was aware of you. You’ve been together with your boyfriend long before he came to your town, so you haven’t really needed his services. But as he worked hard to find your friends’ perfect matches, he took notice of you. Every time someone close to you came to you for advice, what you’d tell them was always what Mingyu was thinking. But he couldn’t interfere with your relationship, especially as you seemed to not have any problems.

Just two hours before February 14th is finally over, after a very tiring, rushed day to make sure every person he was working with had the best day possible, Mingyu decides to fly around town in case anyone else needs last minute help.

He’s the best at what he does. He follows the rules and meets his goals with outstanding results. On the days when he gets the best results, he allows himself to go find you and just see you being there. 

Tonight, he didn't forget about you, but he didn’t have time to catch up with your life all day. So, when he finds you walking on an empty road alone, with your phone in your hand, sobbing quietly, he can’t resist it. 

Mingyu doesn’t usually present in his human form, but this late at night, on a dark empty road far from the lights of the town, there’s no danger. Only you. And it's easy to make sure no one remembers him when it's only one person.

“Is everything okay?” You’d turned your head to see if any cars were driving by, so Mingyu takes you by surprise, standing a few feet ahead. 

“Fuck! Where did you come from?” You scream as you take a step back away from him. 

You squint as you analyze Mingyu up and down, noting you’ve never seen him before. And you should be scared. You would be if he didn’t seem so... nice? A wave of comfort rushes past you, but you still keep your distance, in case your intuition's failing you. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Mingyu smiles warmly as he finally heard your voice directed to him after so long. “I’m Mingyu.” 

“And I don’t mean to be rude, Mingyu... but it’s kinda creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere.” Your eyebrows frown, but your voice stays soft, your body relaxing after the initial scare. 

“You’re one to talk. You’re out here alone, too.” Mingyu can’t resist the urge to tease you, smirking as you seem to get interested in the interaction. 

“It’s my town. Nothing bad ever happens here.” You avoid telling him the reason you’re there at first, but as your instincts keep telling you to not be afraid, you decide that telling a seemingly friendly stranger your problems might not be that bad. “I broke up with my boyfriend.” 

“Why? May I ask?” Mingyu inquires, hands in the air in response to your questioning gaze. “And today of all days.” 

“The future.” You sigh, weirdly trusting him with more. “He had everything figured out, his whole life with me, and I...” 

“And you don’t want it?” Mingyu can’t help but ask. It’s his nature after all. 

“I… don’t know what I want.” Your arms cross in front of your chest, confused by Mingyu’s interest in you, but curious enough to keep talking to him. 

“That can’t be true.” Mingyu lifts one eyebrow, not teasing, but rather thinking he can actually help you for once. “You want what everybody wants.” 

“Huh... a mysterious stranger who has all the answers.” You provoke, not believing someone you’ve never seen in your small town could hold the answer to a problem that has been tormenting you for weeks. 

Mingyu chuckles in response, your teasing behavior making you more interesting in his eyes. He has seen you in circumstances where you always reacted in the same way, a shallow character of you formed in his head. And now, he can see you with other eyes. A new layer to you he can explore. 

He's watched people at their most vulnerable, created an atmosphere for them where they can be themselves so he can find someone for them. The way you challenge him, but at the same time trust him, is harboring thoughts in his mind he shouldn’t have. 

“Let’s just say helping people is what I do. I’ve learned a few things over time.” Being as vague as he can, Mingyu hopes that’s enough for you to come close to him and let him tell you what he thinks you need. 

“So, Mingyu, tell me. What is it that I want?” You seem like you fell for it, but is it a game to you? You want to see how far this pretty stranger can take it. Mingyu, on the other hand, might just break the single rule he's followed his entire life. 

“You want a love that consumes you. You don’t want someone safe. You want passion and adventure. Even a little danger.” 

Whatever you were expecting Mingyu to tell you, it wasn’t anything close to what just came out of his mouth. But he was... right? 

Previously to your fight with your now ex-boyfriend, you never thought about what you wanted, about your future. You cared about living in the present. Mingyu liked that about you. It gave you a certain perspective of life other people lacked, and it’s what made you such a seeked out advice giver amongst your friends. And your boyfriend, he was good, safe, a constant in your life. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong about him, you just stopped feeling like you used to, he stopped being what you needed.

“You seem to know so much about love.” You can only reply, and he smiles. A smile that’s just as warm as it’s proud. 

“I live for love. It’s what I do.” Deep within the both of you, there’s an understanding, a growing trust. Mingyu waits for your confirmation, on the brink of deciding to have one selfish night. 

Since the dawn of time, the first warning everyone gets as children is to not trust strangers, and you’ve followed that advice every day of your life. But your gut urges you to trust the kind looking man who seems to know exactly what you want. An impulse, prompting you to give in, just for one night, to make you forget about the reason you were alone on the road in the first place. 

“Would you show me?” Is all Mingyu needed to hear to take a step closer in your direction.

“We have to do something about your things first.” You had already forgotten about the tiny bag you chose to wear, only because you were supposed to be on a date, hanging loosely from your shoulder.

“What are you planning to do?” You don’t stop Mingyu as he grabs your bag and walks to the side of the road, hiding it behind one of the big trees.

“I was thinking of starting with the adventure part.” When he doesn’t return to your place on the empty road, you follow him to where he stands, watching your every move carefully.

“I’m fine with that.” The spot where you purposely decide to stand is dangerously close to him, his personal space blending with yours.

“Promise me you won’t get scared. I got you.” Now barely centimeters away from you, Mingyu has to tilt his head down to be able to look at you. You nod, and your eyes show no sign of fear as he places both his hands on your waist to hold you. “Hold tight.” 

A bit reluctant, but still trusting, you wrap both of your arms around his neck with a questioning look. Mingyu smirks lightly but gives you no time to realize what it causes in you because you stop feeling the ground beneath your feet. 

You should be afraid. A man you just met can fly and is lifting you up in the air with him, with no protection whatsoever. But his hands around you feel tight and secure, and you trust he won't let you fall.

“How do I not feel heavy? Like, I'm flying too, and it's not just holding me.” You ask, too curious about his mystery powers.

“You know when a piece of metal touches a magnet, it gains its magnetism too? It's something similar. As long as a part of you is in contact with me, you'll fly too.”

“And you don't have wings?” 

Mingyu loves the way your brain works, and he can’t help but chuckle at your genuine curiosity. “You think I should be a baby with tiny wings and a heart bow and arrow?” 

“Don’t be mean!” You wish you could hit him lightly in the shoulder, but that would mean you'd have to retrieve your hand from your hold momentarily.

The adrenaline rushes quickly through your body, seeing how the night sky gets closer and the city below you grows far. 

“The view’s so pretty.” You say after a moment of silence, admiring the town lights from a distance. 

“Really pretty.” Mingyu replies, but his head hasn’t turned, eyes fixed on your face analyzing your every feature. 

When you hear his voice so close to you, his warm breath reaching your skin despite the wind, you turn your head back to him and find his eyes in you. “You’re not looking.” The words mix with giggles. 

“I’ve gotten used to it.” Mingyu’s gaze dips to your smiling lips for just a second. “I much rather look at other beautiful things.” 

Warmth spreads from your stomach up to your cheeks. “You’re good at this.” Avoiding his eyes by entertaining yourself with the view doesn’t work very well. 

“At what?” Mingyu teases, loving the way your cheeks pink up because of him.

“You’re very charming.” If Mingyu decided to tilt his head a little closer, you’re sure your heart would burst out from your chest.

“I know what people like. It’s one of the perks of doing my job.” The cocky tone only strengthens his influence over you.

“And what would that be?” Already surrendered to whatever he has in store for you, you instigate him further.

“I know what people want to hear, what they want to feel, how they like to be cared for and touched.” Mingyu’s hand tucks a rebel strand of hair behind your ear and takes the chance to brush his fingers down your neck and arm, managing to hold you steady with only one arm.

“Touched, huh?” If he knows what you want, then he must be stalling giving you exactly that.

“It’s really important information to accurately do my job." The courage gained allows you to lose your grip around his neck to let one of your hands play with Mingyu’s hair, and your moves just broaden the smirk that hasn't worn off him.

“You know, you said you'd show me the things I want, but so far, we've only levitated from our original spot.” It was easy for you to trust, and frankly, ,, and there’s no doubt he has more knowledge than the average person. But his teasing grips and touches are doing nothing more than getting you in the mood for something that there’s no guarantee is going to happen. “You’re making me doubt you.”

“I don’t know how much you want me to show you.” Mingyu might have a sense for love and lust, but he’s no mind reader. As much as he wants to believe the fire he sees behind your eyes as your hands take their time to feel the warm skin behind his neck is because you want him just as much as he does, he can’t do anything unless you explicitly want to as well.

“I want more.” You want to feel everything that you felt was missing before, and in Mingyu’s hands, you just know he’ll make sure you do.

“More?” Mingyu’s last will to resist you, last chance to listen to the tiny voice in his mind that’s telling him that this is a bad idea.

But, how bad can it be if his whole body’s telling him to give you what you want? To give in to his desires for once?

“Make me feel what you know I want. Touch me like you think I'd like to be touched.” 

How wrong can it be if you're in his arms asking him for it, flying on the sky with only your trust in him to guarantee you’ll be safe, with your oh so pretty doe eyes piercing through the thin wall shielding his self control.

“I will, but you can’t remember that you met me.” It pains Mingyu to say it out loud, but he can’t hide the reality from you. “I have to erase me from your memory.”

“Why?” You knew it was too good to be true. “I won’t tell anyone.” In different circumstances, you'd be embarrassed to sound as needy as you just did. But there's no witness in the quietness of the sky.

“I’m not supposed to do this,” Mingyu sighs, “I’m not supposed to get personally involved with a human.” When he says it out loud, it makes sense. But when he connects his eyes with you again, it doesn’t make sense to him that you’re off limits, that he has to resist you. How could he?

“And I’m not supposed to trust a stranger that comes up to me in the middle of the night and offers to fly me around the city.” A small smile fights to appear on Mingyu’s otherwise worried expression. “But okay, I’ll let you mess with my memories. At least promise me you’ll give me the best night of my life.”

“I promise you.” Mingyu’s going to give you whatever you ask for. After all, it’s his job to cater to people’s desires.

With his hands back on your waist, as tight and secure as they can, Mingyu elevates the both of you higher, hiding your bodies behind the few dense clouds, so no stray stargazing human can be testimony. He waits for you to take in the view, the new ambiance in which he’ll make you yours for the night.

Waiting might be part of his plan, making you crave his touch until you beg for it. “So, how would you start? Besides flying me to where no one can see us.” You try to taunt him, but as you finish verbalizing your thoughts, you feel the warmth of his body all around you.

“First, I'd touch you.” His hands sneak below your shirt. The pads of his fingers barely graze your skin as they travel up your chest. “Find that spot that paints the whole of you with goosebumps.” Easily, but not surprisingly, Mingyu takes the time to feel every part of your torso, and when you gasp lightly as he reaches the small of your back, just above where the fabric of the skirt you luckily decided to wear begins, he knows he found it.

“And then?” Breathless, your eyes refuse to leave his, entranced by the glimmer of lust behind them.

“I'd press you against me.” What he says, he does, wasting no time. “Kiss your neck right where I can feel your pulse.” With his lips on the sensitive skin of your neck, Mingyu feels your pulse completely accelerated, and he can’t help but smirk against you. “How am I doing?”

“It's alright.” He aims to remove his head from the crook of your neck, but your hand keeps him there, and he chuckles right on your skin. “Don’t you dare stop.”

“You like being pressed up against me?” Your hands tighten around Mingyu’s collar as he keeps kissing up your neck, and you hum at his words. “There’s other things I could be doing.”

A sudden cold wind reminds you of where you are, and when Mingyu senses the sudden scare inside you, he continues with his plan, helping you forget. He sneaks one of his hands below your pretty skirt and just lightly touches your covered mound. You wish you could tear off his clothes, throw them in the air to nowhere so you could feel his hot skin against yours, just how he likes to feel yours.

“Shit.” You barely get the curse out as Mingyu licks his way up your neck.

“Do you want me to touch you?” His voice sounds deeper, with a tint of something you can’t quite decipher exciting you for what’s next.

“Yes!” You don’t mind sounding desperate if it gets you what you want, but instead, he stops moving and only presses his fingers against your core.

“Say it.” The way your panties grow wetter at his demand has Mingyu salivating. “Say you want my fingers inside you.”

“I thought you knew what I wanted.” A lousy attempt at provoking him, as Mingyu's already ten steps ahead of you.

“You love getting told what to do. So, say it.” His face is a mere inch away from your face, with his breath tickling over your parted lips, but he does nothing to change it, challenging you.

“I want your fingers inside of me.” You state, with your eyes connected to his teasing ones, your hand drifting down to find his and sliding in under your panties for once. “Now.”

“Hmm, that's what I wanted to hear.”

His shoulders become your next victim. You grip them like your life depends on it –it does, your fingers dig on his toned muscles as his toy with your cunt, spreading your lips apart and circling your clit as if you're not dripping down into the clouds below already.

You use the strong hold on his firm body to grind against his hand, searching for the friction he's refusing to give you. His nod of approval encourages you further, and in no time, you've coated the whole of his hand with your juices.

When two of his fingers slip into your core at once, curling them to give you every sensation at once, your walls welcome the girth of his fingers, pushing a surprised moan out of you.

Mingyu moves them in and out of you steadily, letting you feel every stretch and every spot the tips of his fingers reach and touch. Gasps and moans are all the sounds you can produce, watching his face closely as he looks down to where he buries his hand into you.

But he’s going too slow, and your hips take charge, riding his hand to match his thrusts so he can reach deeper. Mingyu fails to fight back a moan, as if he’s enjoying it more than you, and you speed up in search for more.

“Stop.” Mingyu’s other hand tilts your chin up so he can look you in the eyes.

“W-Why?” Despite the question, you obey his demand even if your insides pulse around his fingers, begging either of you to move.

“Slow down, take the time to feel everything. It’ll feel better.”

Arguing with him is out of the question, so when he stiffens his hand under you, preparing it for you to follow his instructions, you do so.

“Like this?” You sway your hips forward slowly, feeling his fingers open you up while Mingyu relishes in the way your gummy walls embrace him with so much need.

“That’s right, baby.” Deeper than anyone has ever reached with a few fingers, Mingyu knows exactly when to curl his to have you clamping around him, your body trembling against him but still doing what he told you to. “You're doing so well.”

Everything he says and does sends you closer and closer to the edge, fighting back moans and screams that scratch their way out of you, but you don’t want it to be over, so you delay the orgasm as much as possible.

As if he was a mind reader, Mingyu realizes your intentions and takes charge once again, plunging his fingers into you with the exact force and precision that causes a new wave of arousal to drip into his hand.

“Don’t fight it. Let go.”

“But– I don’t– fuck!” It’s like your body only follows his command, the white light shining from the stars getting brighter and brighter until it’s all you can see, and you're cumming on his fingers in no time.

Your chest heaves as if you just ran a marathon, catching your breath after he removes his digits from you and leaves you empty.

“Okay, I believe you now.” Your cold damp underwear sticks to your core uncomfortably when you wrap your legs around him, surprised you hadn’t before, and you welcome the feel of his hard length against you.

“Now?” Mingyu chokes in the middle of his chuckle at the contact but doesn’t do anything to get your tempting body away.

“Yeah, but partially.” It’s obvious you still want more, but Mingyu feels he’s done. He made you feel good like you asked and like he wanted. He wouldn’t dare to push things further without your confirmation. “You could give me a little more proof.”

“I– I shouldn’t, I mean, you don’t owe me anything. We don’t have to if–”

“I want it,” you quickly interrupt his ramble, “I need you.” Even through the layers of fabric and the rush of wind prickling at your skin, the twitch of his hard reaches your core. “I know you want it too.”

“You’re a bad influence.” Mingyu sighs, throwing his head back with a smirk.

“You’re the one who approached me claiming to have magic powers that tell you exactly how to make me cum! Now deal with the consequences of your actions!”

“I did not say that.” He very clearly implied it, but he likes the way your face quirks when he plays your little game.

“Hmm, but I think you did.” His hands holding you don’t dare travel down even for a tease. “Do I have to beg? Cause I will.” Your semi-true joke draws an unexpected laugh out of him, and you can only bat your eyelashes at him, waiting for a response.

You’re still sensitive from the earth-shattering orgasm at his hand, and your whole body twitches as you grind lightly against him with a purpose, earning a delicious low groan and a tighter grip in his arms.

“I don’t have any protection.” His voice hitches at your every move, pressing against him with no care in the world. “I wasn’t exactly planning this.”

“I had a boyfriend for over two years, Mingyu… I’m on the pill.” His mention doesn't set either of you back. “If we both want to, then what's the issue?”

Yeah, what’s the issue? That's exactly what Mingyu wonders as he flawlessly unzips his pants the perfect amount to let his hard spring out of his fabric prison. That's what he wonders when your hand wraps around him, taking in his girth before moving up and down slowly. That question is barely a murmur in the wind as you place the tip of his cock at your entrance, locking eyes with him as you sink on him.

Your warm walls mold to his shape, every new inch he reaches wrapping around him as if to keep him there forever. How could he stay away from you?

Instead of waiting to adjust to him, you do your best to start a pace of shallow thrusts. Mingyu's hands gripping you help you find a rhythm, your hips colliding when they meet.

The sighs leaving his parted lips call to you, begging you to connect them. It’s the only thing you haven’t done, and they’re so close, so tempting, only one hand on his neck and a little push, and they’d be on yours. But he stiffens at your touch, and you know he’s resisting.

“Please.” You whisper, but you don’t move further whilst he’s deciding.

It takes Mingyu about two seconds to comply. And you’re so close. It’s barely a change.

The sweetness of his kiss melts you into him, unsurprisingly tender but shockingly full of a kind of lust that he wasn’t showing before, one that only translates in the way he resumes his thrusts inside you in sync with his lips gliding over yours.

A moan escapes you into his mouth as he finds the deepest parts of you, hitting every spot inside you as easily as taking a breath. His grip on your ass gets tighter the louder your sounds become, his eager kiss not drowning them anymore.

Mingyu stimulates every single one of your senses, rendering you incapable of focusing on solely one. His hands traveling everywhere on your body wishing he could feel your bare skin, his sweet scent mixing with the filthiness of your affair, the heated sounds he allows to escape reaching your ears, compelling your walls to contract around him, your tongues molding together in an intent to feel even more of him. He’s everywhere, and you don’t want it to ever stop.

It’s the stutter of his hips that makes everything around you blurry. His hand drifts between your hot bodies, digits circling your clit deliberately and you stop the kiss to gasp in his mouth. Every nerve on your body works towards the goal, the one Mingyu knew precisely how to get you there at light speed.

You don’t fight it this time. Resisting it would mean delaying the strong desire to feel him cum inside you.

Hiding your face on the crook of his neck, your arms wrap around Mingyu’s shoulders as you grind hard against him in the quest to trigger his orgasm along with yours. Something tells you he’s close, maybe the way he embraces you closer to him, if that’s even possible, or how his breathing becomes more rushed against your ear.

It’s like nothing you’ve ever felt before. A lightning bolt, your second orgasm strikes over you unforeseeably hard, so much so that it sets Mingyu’s off just after.

Heavy breathing is all there is to hear for a few seconds, both of you trying to get your bodies back to normal after he slips out of you.

“I definitely believe you now.” As Mingyu's bringing you down in between the trees where you left your bag earlier, you chuckle as you joke to fill the calm silence.

“That's good to hear.” He sounds almost… sad?

Mingyu doesn't know what to do now. As soon as you decide you're done with him, he's going to have to erase every memory of him from your mind, and that's killing him inside.

“Can I ask you something?” But, instead of just grabbing your things and leaving, you sit on the damp grass, patting the spot beside you signaling him to sit down too.

“Whatever you want.” He smiles as he sits by your side, body still as warm as when he hugged you to lift you up in the air, but avoids your eyes doing so.

“Do you investigate people to know what they like?” How did he know exactly what you liked was your real question, and maybe Mingyu got that, but he doesn't show it.

He chuckles, thinking of a way to make what he does more understandable. “Not like that. I can't really explain it, but I just know. When I find someone and see them day to day, it's like I can feel it.”

“So, did you know me? Before tonight?” From your perspective, it can't be a coincidence that he happened to run into you minutes after you broke up with your boyfriend. He must've known. He must've come down to help you.

“Yes,” hesitant, he answers, “I watched over you from time to time.” He can't lie to you. Not because an hour from now, you won't remember this conversation, but because he feels he can trust you.

“Did you pair me together with…” 

“Someone before me did.” Mingyu chuckles, remembering the first time he saw you. 

You were next in line at the coffee shop. He was following the cashier that day, seeing how he was during an ordinary day and trying to gain a sense of his likes and dislikes. When your time to pay came, he saw it, a special light coming from that man's eyes. He liked you. And Mingyu understood him immediately. 

The cash slipped out of your hand and fell onto the ground, and you smiled at him as you said sorry and told him to keep the change. But then, Mingyu saw your order, two coffees instead of one. And then he saw you stroll to the table where he instantly knew your boyfriend was the one waiting for you.

“And are you going to find me someone else?”

The world stops, freezing at your words. Mingyu hadn’t realized what it meant for a couple to break up under his watch. He didn't put you together, but it was his job to mend your hearts by sending a new someone your way. He'll have to watch over you for real this time, see you living your life day to day, without remembering him.

“I should… it’s my job.” He repeats like a mantra in his head. It's his job.

“Right, your job.” Disappointed, you stare at him, waiting for the tiniest sign of regret. “But do you want to?” 

“I– it's my duty.” It's his job. It's his job. It's his job. It's his job.

“If it wasn’t, would you?”

If it wasn't, he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. Instead of parading around his gift for you to be impressed, he would've won you over the right way, taking you out on dates and making you blush with trashy pick-up lines. He would've met your friends and let them interrogate him as he took your hand under the table.

But that's just a fantasy. And he can't move on with life thinking of all the what ifs.

His silence is all you need to know the answer.

“I get it.” You simply reply as you look up to the sky.

Mingyu wants to apologize. He wants to tell you that it will be hell for him to see you every day and try to find someone who isn't him for you. But he can't.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but the led lights of a car rushing past the road take him back to reality. To where he shouldn’t be involved with a human.

“You should go. It’s late, I’m sure people must be looking for you.” Mingyu reminds you that tonight was only a moment out of the ordinary.

But you're not ready to leave, to give up your memories of him.

How can one night impact your life this much? You didn’t know Mingyu until a few hours ago, you had a good life, no problems except that one. And now, you can’t even fathom living a life in which you don’t know who he is. A life in which you don’t know there’s someone out there that looks after you and knows you better than anyone else.

Mingyu sees your doubt and hesitates to get close to you, now that you have stood up and walked away from him. But he takes a step in your direction, standing in front of you and placing his hands on the side of your face, forcing you to look at him.

“I don’t want to forget tonight.” Your watery eyes shine under the moonlight, a sight Mingyu will never be able to forget. “I don’t want to forget you.”

“I’m sorry.” He really is. “I can’t risk them finding out.”

“Please, I won’t tell anyone.” A single teardrop drifts down your cheek, dampening Mingyu’s thumb as he wipes it off, so gently he might be afraid of hurting you even more. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I- I don’t know.” He shouldn’t be so easily swayed by you.

“It’s just me. No one else is going to know. No one will find out.”

It's just me. Mingyu's head doesn't stop repeating those words. It's just you. You, who shared your troubles with him even if he was a stranger. You, who trusted him enough to be held in his arms in the air. You, who he knows, would never break a promise.

Mingyu never breaks the rules of his job. But, on the longest night of his life, he chose to be selfish for once. And he didn’t regret one single moment.

this might be one of the worst ending i ever wrote i'm sorry

[petersasteria]

Hey, It's Been A While - G Dragon/Kwon Ji Yong

Pairing: GD x Reader Summary: long time partners that don't have the same goal

A/N: i just want to say that it's been a while since I've written a fic and this is my first time writing for GD sksksks I've been wanting to write for a while now and I just want to thank @ldydeath @thanosscross @loveesiren @welcometoyunosworld @dollzites @natalicss for inspiring me to write again <3

He was your whole world. You were his. Everything seemed right until it wasn't.

A year into your relationship, everything was still phenomenal. It was like the honeymoon phase never ended. He treated you right and he did right by you. You pampered him when he was tired and he always sent you updates when he was at work. He even started sending you food, knowing that you always forgot to eat on time.

God, you were in love with this man. After your first year together, you knew he was the one. You knew in your heart that nobody could replace him and you hope that he felt that too.

Years go by and suddenly, you've been dating for 9 years. Everyone was pestering you to get married already, but Ji-yong never asked... not yet. Your relationship with him was never rocky and despite multiple breakup rumors, it remained stronger than ever. It stood the test of time and Ji-yong liked to prove people wrong all the time. He brought you to events all the time and he would be the one to send you those shitty rumors first before anyone else would, just so the two of you could make fun of it.

God, he was in love with you. He loved every single moment he shared with you. It was weird because he figured that he was the only man in the world who falls in love with you even more when you're angry. He absolutely loved you when you were angry because he loved seeing your real emotions toward things that angered you. He loved supporting you when you got angry. If you were cussing someone out during a rant, he'd do the same thing because he knew that you'd look at him, laugh, and forget what you were even angry about which annoyed you a lot, but he knew you were thankful. Your first year together was the best year he ever had. He wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Years go by and he's still so madly and sickeningly in love with you. He would never want to hurt your feelings that's why when rumors started going around about your breakup, he'd make sure to send it to you first attached with a cruel joke that only you two would understand. He'd smile to himself when you give it a 'haha' react and reply with another joke. It'd be enough to put him in a good mood.

Lately, he's starting to notice something different about you. You were a little bit sad, but he didn't know what to do and it scared him because he'd usually know what to do and what to say. He could read your expressions so well and it killed him that he couldn't read it now. For the first time in 9 years, he couldn't understand what was wrong.

To remedy the situation, he took you out on a date in a very expensive restaurant. He didn't care how much he'd spend. He just wanted to see you happy and to know if something's wrong. He wanted to make you feel better.

Obviously, that action didn't register the same way to you. He wanted to talk to you and ask what's going on, and you thought he was proposing. Of course, none of you knew what the other was thinking during the time both of you were getting ready in the same room. He glanced at you as he put his cufflinks on and smiled when he saw you smiling to yourself. 'My girl's back.' He thought. You looked up at him as you smoothed out your dress and smiled, "Ready to go?"

The whole ride going to the restaurant was quiet. It was a comfortable kind of quiet. The soft music filling the car and the reflection of the lights coming from the street lamps and shops illuminated your faces perfectly. He wanted to take multiple pictures of you then and there to make it his new lockscreen, but he didn't want both of you to get injured because he was too busy driving. Despite having a lot of money, he didn't feel the need to hire a driver because he thinks that going on drives with you is intimate no matter where you go.

You arrived at the restaurant and got seated at the best table with the best view. You scanned the menu, ordered your food, and smiled at each other. "Um, it's been a while since we went on a proper date. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love staying in, but I just feel like dressing up with you and going to a fancy place for a change. If that's alright?" He asked, anxious for your reply. He didn't know why he was anxious around you. He guessed that maybe he didn't want to upset you by saying the wrong thing.

"That's perfectly fine, Ji." You smiled shyly, thinking he's nervous about his proposal. "I'll go wherever you go. We've been together for so long, I can't even remember what it's like to function without you."

Both of you laughed and agreed. You started talking about your job and how you're eyeing for that big promotion because the pay is better and the office is bigger. He just kept listening and laughing and only talking when he was curious about one topic or if he had any opinions or views about something you said. At one point, he couldn't help himself because of how your face was perfectly illuminated by the light coming from the restaurant's warm, dim lights. He asked for you to pose as he took multiple pictures. Some of it were candid shots of you asking him to stop because it was taking too long. Despite all the magazine-worthy photos he took of you, he chose the most candid one as his lockscreen because it took him back to when you first met.

"I'm really glad that you're smiling again, Y/N." He said as he toyed a little bit with his dessert's toppings using his dessert spoon. Your head tilted a little bit to the side as you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. What was he talking about?

He looked at you and said, "Oh, I mean it's nothing bad... I hope. Um, recently, I noticed that you were sad and you had this expression I couldn't read and I panicked because I didn't know how to fix it and you've never been so closed off like that with me. Now that you're smiling and laughing, it makes me feel better that you're feeling better." He breathed and smiled a big smile, "I'm really glad you're feeling better. You can tell me if I've done anything to upset you, you know that right?"

You nodded your head and said, "You did nothing wrong, actually. I guess I was just a bit sad because of what people are saying about us... or about me."

His eyes went dark and said, "What?" He wasn't aware that people were saying stuff about the two of you or about you, specifically. It angered him that people were trying to breakup the one relationship he cherished the most. He felt betrayed and backstabbed. You nodded and said, "They said that you didn't really love me and that I'm just a placeholder for when you meet your true love."

He was so hurt that you said that so casually. "Anyway, I don't believe it anymore because it's ridiculous! Especially now that it's happening." You said giddily. He chuckled in confusion and shook his head slightly, "I'm sorry, what's happening?"

"You know..." You said in excitement. "No, I don't know actually." He said with genuine confusion.

"Oh. Is this not what I thought it was?" You asked in a small voice, feeling absolutely mortified and embarrassed.

"What are you on about, my love?" He asked. He didn't understand. He didn't have a clue at all.

You gave him a tight-lipped smile and said, "Let's just go home."

As soon as you got home, you marched straight to your shared room with Ji-yong quickly following behind. "Hey, what's going on? Please tell me. You know that I don't like to be kept in the dark about things that concern our relationship."

You looked at him as you took off your shoes and earrings. "Fine. We've been together for 9 years and you still haven't proposed. Why?"

He chuckled, "Is that it? Is that why you're so upset? I can answer that right now."

"Okay. Please enlighten me."

"I don't believe in marriage and starting a family, Y/N." He said coolly. "I thought it was obvious? I mean, we have a great relationship going on and I absolutely adore you and everyone knows that. I just don't feel the need to put it on a piece of paper. You're the only woman in my life and I'm the only man in your life and it's always been that way. Everybody knows that."

Your heart shattered into a million pieces. "What?" was all you said. He shrugged and sat down on your shared bed, "Yeah. I thought you knew? I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. I genuinely thought you knew this whole time." You shook your head and started crying.

You sat down on the bed next to him and started crying. He pulled you in for a hug, but you pushed him away. He was hurt that you did that because you never pushed him away before. "What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing your back and pushing your hair away from your face.

You looked up at him and said, "I don't think I can go on this way."

"What do you mean?" He panicked. Is this it? Is your relationship ending after 9 beautiful years?

"We have different goals. I want to get married and have kids, Ji. I find it so selfish of you to not tell me and expect me to be okay with it now. If you told me that 9 years ago-"

"You would've left immediately, I know you would. Please don't leave me now. We're doing so great." He pleaded.

"Ji-yong, please-"

"Will you marry me?"

"What?" You looked at him like was crazy.

"You wanted to get married, right? I love you too much for you to walk away. Let's get married and have kids like what you've always dreamed of. How many kids do you want? We can move out of here and find a more quiet place for us to start a family and-"

"I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you, Y/N. Don't be silly."

"Oh, but you would. You'd resent me for marrying me because you never wanted to get married. You'd resent our children because you never wanted to have children. We want different things in life and maybe we were just meant to meet, but not destined to be with each other."

"Y/N, I love you. Please marry me."

"You're just asking me that because you want me to stay, not because you want to marry me. Ji-yong, my love, it's okay. It'll take some time, but I hope you find someone who has the same goal as you."

Those were your last words to him before you parted ways. Your breakup was called the "breakup of the century" because it shocked everyone.

-

It's been 2 years since then and Ji-yong heard that you were getting married and that you were pregnant. He was truly happy for you because you got what you wanted, but it killed him to know that it's not him you're marrying and it's not him who's fathering your child. He was invited to the wedding and so are Daesung and Taeyang. They didn't want him to go because they knew it would hurt his feelings, but he assured them that he'll be fine. He moved on... a little bit.

He hoped to talk to you, though.

He wandered around aimlessly through the halls and hoped that by sheer luck, he finds your dressing room. He spots a group of bridesmaids and he switches on his charm and asks them if they were your bridesmaids. They said yes and he immediately asked where your dressing room was.

They led him there before leaving. He could hear you singing softly to yourself, indicating that you were alone. After all this time, he still knew you like the back of his hand. He smiled to himself and knocked on your door.

"Mom, please calm down. For the nth time, I don't need water!" You said through the door. He chuckled to himself before opening the door.

"Sorry to disappoint. I'm not your mom." He said softly. His gaze immediately falling on your beautiful face matched with your perfectly styled hair, then on your white wedding dress.

"Ji-yong."

"Y/N."

"You're here! Wow." You said in surprise. "Um, please sit." You motioned for him to sit on your couch and you sat down next to him.

"You look beautiful, Y/N." He smiled. His smile reached his eyes and you gave him a shy look. His compliments still gave you butterflies.

"Thank you. I'm glad you could make it."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He said. "I'm sorry I couldn't be the man you needed me to be. Now that I look back, it really was shitty of me to tell you that I didn't want to get married and expect you to accept it. It was also shitty of me to propose to you just for you to stay, and you were right. I would've hated you and I don't want to hate you because I love you so much. In fact, I love you so much that I can't let you go."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying." He chuckled bitterly. "I want you to be happy with me, but I can't make you happy because I can't give you what you want. He makes you happy and I hate that. I don't want you to leave him because I would never want to breakup a family... that's not who I am."

"I just wish that I was different. I wish that I believed in marriage, so that you wouldn't marry that guy and have his child. I wish it was me you came home to. You'll always be the love of my life, Y/N. I screwed up, but I never lied to you. I've done a lot of shit in my life, but loving you and being with you is different. I meant what I said that day when I told you that you're the only woman in my life."

He pulled out his phone and showed you his lockscreen from that night at the restaurant. "See? I never changed it. I'll always love you and it'll stay that way until my last breath."

You stayed quiet. Why was he saying all this?

"I love you. I respect you. I already care about your kid and I haven't even met them. I guess what I'm saying is, something in my gut tells me that we're definitely destined to be together and in some fucked up way, I hope it's true."

"I'm confused." You told him.

"Get married, Y/N. Go. I'm not stopping you. I'm not a cruel person and I know how hard you've worked in planning all this. I know you so well, after all. I'm just saying that one day, I know you'll come back to me."

"What if you're wrong?" You asked. "I love my fiance."

"I know you do. Just not the same way you loved me. Our 9 years wasn't a joke. We're basically married at that point." He smirked. "You deserve a happy marriage, Y/N. I know you're happy."

He stood up and walked to the door. "I just have this terrible gut feeling about that man that I can't shake."

With that, he left the dressing room.

--------

A/N: I planned on smth very angsty, but I couldn't stop typing until it led me to that ending HAHAHAHA

[azulpitlane]

i wish you would I ln4

pairings: lando norris x reader, exbf! mason mount x reader summary: part two of got love struck notes: kinda dragged making this but finals are finally over so send me some requests pls🤸‍♀️ this ones kinda angsty and there's lots of miscommunication sorry hehe part three, masterlist

yourusername posted a story 2h ago

The night was full of partying, drinking and dancing as you celebrated your best friend's 23rd birthday. The night quickly turned into a mess when you went to the bar to get everyone more drinks. When you came back your friends were nowhere to be seen, you assumed they were in the dance floor but when you went to check, they weren't there either. To make matters worse, you had put your phone in your friend's purse for safe keeping so you had no way to contact them. The panic quickly sobered you up as you looked everywhere for them but instead you found different a familiar face.

"Mason?"

"Y/n! Hey, I didn't realize you were here."

Your ex-boyfriend went for a hug as he greeted you. You and Mason ended your relationship over a year ago, and though you felt no animosity towards the football player, the breakup had been hard as everybody on the internet seemed to have an opinion on it. It was mutual breakup, you both were in different stages in your life and it just seemed like it wasn't your time.

"Yeah, I was celebrating y/bff/n's birthday with a few other girls, but I have no idea where they are and they have my cell." You were starting to get frustrated as you felt like they left without you.

"Oh no, I would help you look but I'm about to head out. Let me give you a ride home, I would hate for you to be here by yourself."

You knew if somebody saw you and Mason alone it would cause chaos all over again, but you had no other choice at the moment and you just wanted to go to bed. You agreed and as you left you both were oblivious to the cameras taking pictures of you leaving through the back door together.

As you pulled up to your hotel you smiled at Mason and thanked him.

"You're a lifesaver Mase seriously, I don't know what I would've done if I never found them or you."

"You don't have to thank me y/n. I will always look out for you even if we're broken up. I still care for you."

"You're a great friend, I'll always look out for you too."

"And um I have to ask,"

You could tell he was nervous as he scratched the back of his neck and his cheeks flushed slightly.

"What is it Mase?"

"Do you love him?"

You were surprised by the question, not expecting him to bring up Lando.

"Um yeah-yes. I love him so much, I can't even find the words to describe it to be honest. I don't think any song I write can even measure to how strong my love is for him."

"That's good, yeah, that's great. I just, I'm happy you found your person y/n. You know, I thought that person would be me, but if you're happy, than I am too. I guess we just weren't meant to be."

"Mase, you're one of the most amazing people I've met, seriously. I don't think it was ever in the cards for us, but you've taught me so much and you'll always have a special place in my heart. You will find your person one day, I promise."

You smiled at Mason as you spoke, not realizing you had given him the closure he had been needing for a year.

Lando was freaking out.

He had been sent the article of you and Mason over 5 times already and you hadn't answered your phone in over 2 hours. His mind was reeling as he was thinking about what you could possibly be doing right now. Even though he trusted you more than anything, he couldn't help but let it get to him. Why aren't you answering?

He knew your phone was charged and turned on considering he can still see your location. As he checked it again, he realized you were no longer at the club. You were at someone's apartment. Why weren't you at your hotel? Who's apartment was this?

Before he let himself jump to conclusions, he called y/bff/n knowing you two went out together.

"LANDOOOO! HI."

"Y/bff/n, hey is y/n with you?"

"Y/n? Oh nooooo. Aw I miss her Lan, is she with you?"

"What? No, how could she be with me? I'm in Monaco right now."

"Oh. Then I'm not so sure."

Lando could feel himself getting frustrated as he spoke with the clearly intoxicated girl.

"Okay, did she go home with you? With anyone else?"

"I don't know, you should probably call her or something."

"I did, over 10 times in the past hour."

"Oh maybe she's busy! Let me know how it goes, bye!"

"Wait-"

She hung up. Lando was going to throw up. He was never considered himself as an insecure guy, but he couldn't help but feel there was something going on. He's seen those tweets and comments saying how much everyone loved you and Mason together. What if those comments made you realize they were right? What if you were with Mason right now? Lando wanted to cry, scream and throw up all at once.

Three loud knocks woke you up from your beauty sleep. You were still in last night's clothes as you were too tired to even change after the nights disaster. You opened the door and your best friend ran in and hugged you.

"Y/N! I'm so so sorry for leaving you all by yourself. I was completely blacked out and I guess I was acting sloppy because y/f/n said we got kicked out of the club! I was acting too drunk and they got mad im so so sorry, this is all my fault and we tried to tell security to get you but they were so mean and-"

"Y/bff/n stop. It's fine, it was your birthday, you deserved to act a little crazy."

"Still babe, I'm sorry. Now that article is being spread like crazy and it's all because of me."

"What are you talking about? What article?"

"Shit. I forgot, here's your phone. But I have to warn you, people saw you leaving the club with Mason last night and the rumors have already begun. Im sorry hun."

Oh god.

Lando🧡 15 missed calls 5 unread messages

YourPublicist 2 missed calls 1 unread message

Danny Ric🤠 2 unread messages

Y/f/n 8 unread messages

The notifications were endless as you scrolled through your phone but there was only one that you really cared about. You immediately called Lando, afraid he was angry at you for this mess.

"Lan, baby, I'm so sorry for worrying you. I just opened your messages, y/bff/n had my phone all night." You immediately gave him a run down of the night as you knew what it was like to be in his position. The media has circulated so many rumors about your relationship overnight and you knew how hard that was. You had dealt with it all throughout your career and you were heartbroken it was happening to Lando because of you.

"That's weird because I actually called y/bff/n last night and she did not mention she had your phone."

"She was so out of it last night, she probably forgot she even had it. Oh god, she was downing shots I'm honestly not even surprised she got kicked out, she was so crazy-"

"Y/n, you don't understand, I have not slept all night. I was worried and everyone is talking about this. I look like an idiot in this situation."

You knew Lando was going to be upset but after your explanation, you didn't expect for him to still be angry at you.

"I know, the night was a mess, but nothing happened with Mason. He just dropped me off and I'm grateful it was him and not some random taxi."

"You're grateful it was him? You're grateful these pictures are all over the internet?"

"That's not what I meant! I meant he was the safest option at that moment, I had nobody else."

"Yeah. Half of the internet is happy it was him. People are actually celebrating thinking you guys are back together."

"Don't listen to them Lan, me and Mase are never getting back together. People will accept it over time and this will blow over."

"Why are you being so casual about this? Do you even know how I felt last night when you weren't answering. I was going to be sick thinking what you could possibly be doing with him."

"Lan, I told you nothing happened. Why aren't you believing me?"

"This is just all too much." Lando knew he was overreacting a bit. Your story made sense and it all lined up, but he had spent the entire night overthinking and reading the rumors about you two that he couldn't get them out of his mind. He loved you so much and last night made him realize how easily he can lose you and that thought terrified him. You were everything to him, but did you really feel the same way?

"Are you breaking up with me? Seriously? Over a stupid tabloid, I can't believe this." You felt betrayed. Did he not trust you?

"I dont know, it's just hard for me wrap my head around this right now."

"Lan, my flight to Monaco leaves in a few hours, how about we just talk about this in person when our heads are clear?"

Lando was getting angrier as the call went on. He knew his insecurities were getting the best of him right now but he felt like you weren't listening to him. You were trying to brush this off when the whole world was going against you two right now.

"Wow Y/n. My heads pretty fucking clear right now. You know what? Maybe it's best if you don't come, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay."

one week later

liked by user 1, user 2, masonmount and 3,593,304 others

yourusername life atm. p.s all new music released from now on is coming from the comfort of my own bed <3

comments on this post have been limited

yourbff love u. coming over rn🏃‍♀️

yourusername pls dont forget snacks

taylorswift need this new album right now

danielricciardo ❤️‍🩹

liked by user1, user2 and 231,583 others

dailymail Singer Y/n Y/l/n spotted once again with Manchester United star, Mason Mount, leaving a restaurant with a few other football players. Are the two officially back together? Rumors of her breakup with Formula One driver, Lando Norris have been circulating for over a week now after Y/l/n and Mount were seen leaving a club together. Read more on this new love triangle in our article linked in our bio.

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user1 im so excited for this album HAHAHA

user2 team mason idc

user3 funny how the last song she dropped was titled slut, if the shoe fits :)

user4 slut shaming in 2023? disgusting.

user5 i refuse to believe her and lando broke up sorry

user6 delulu is the solulu atp😁

notes: another cliffhanger!!!🤸‍♀️also this isn't proofread at all my bad heh

tags: @jayrami3 @whoselly @roseseraj @saturnbloom77 @landowecanbewc

[lost-romantique]

The Parallels Between Sinsmas & the Full Moon Breakup

Note: Please do NOT turn this post into a discussion on who's in the right and who's in the wrong. I think what happened between Stolas and Octavia is a complicated issue, and I think it's unfair to take sides. (We do not need another Blitz vs Stolas debate, especially between Father and Daughter.)

~~~~~~~~

Both breakups involve Stolas breaking it off with the two people that mean the world to him: Blitz and Octavia. 

The only difference is whereas Stolas had every intention of breaking up, or setting free Blitz in the Full Moon and did. 

Stolas had NO intention, and NO inclination of his daughter breaking up, or should I say disowning him in Sinsmas.

~~~~~~~

Let me start off by saying that Octavia, throughout the entirety of her argument with her father, exhibits traits from both Blitz and Stolas.

Octavia lashes out in anger the same way Blitz did in the Full Moon. However, unlike Blitz, who had no real way to gain control of the conversation and pull it in his favor. Octavia, from the very beginning controls the conversation, even while she's lashing out. 

Octavia’s entire tirade is filled with harsh truths, half-truths, her truths (even if they're false, they are true to her), and harsh call-outs. Similar to Blitzø’s tirade in the Full Moon.

“It was your choice, you chose HIM!"

“Can I get a fucking minute to think after everything you put me through, you pompous, rich ASSHOLE?!”

“You never loved mother, you don't love me, YOU LOVE HIM!”

“TREAT ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR BUTLER IMPS? You can't just dismiss me like that!”

"So does that mean you just stayed miserable because of me? Was I some fucking obligation? Is that why you didn't even hesitate when you got the chance to leave?"

"I mean you royal fucks think you can do this every time. Like you can just play with our feelings because we're smaller and not as important!"

Meanwhile, the one trait Octavia really takes from her father is the fact that, right now, she is stuck in her own head, not considering her father's own thoughts and feelings, and dismissing them.

Octavia doesn't bother hearing out her father, and fails to take into account his feelings. She doesn't see the pain and anguish she's causing him. 

Stolas does the same in the Full Moon (before Blitz's tirade), completely blind to anything else, aside from what he needs to do (give Blitz the crystal), he doesn't notice the fact that he drove Blitzø to tears.

~~~~~~~

But that's not all…

Pretty much every single negative event that Blitz experienced in Full Moon, Stolas is then forced to experience, by the hands of his own daughter.

It's almost cruel, as it is ironic.

(I just want to preface this by saying that Stolas was justified in the way he acted in Full Moon when Blitz triggered him, and I can not fault him for that. However, Blitz also had a right to get angry at Stolas for disregarding him. Complicated situation all around. I really don't want to turn this into a who was right and who was wrong debate.)

…

Stolas ruminated on the events of the Full Moon, and had a plan in his mind for how it was going to go down. His mistake, he didn’t even bother giving Blitz a heads up on what was happening.

Octavia's life came crashing down all around her the moment she saw her dad was willing to die for a man she assumed was just a homewrecker. By the time she confronts her dad, her mind was already made up.

…

Stolas controlled the entire flow of the conversation with Blitz in the Full Moon, and sent Blitz into a tizzy, making him grow ever increasingly distressed. 

Octavia controlled the entire flow of the conversation with her father in Sinsmas. Stolas becomes frazzled and desperate, trying to explain himself to his daughter.

…

Stolas forcefully gives the crystal to Blitz, without his consent. But was something Blitz ultimately needed. 

Octavia forcefully gives the bottle of antidepressants to her dad, without his consent. But was something Stolas ultimately needed.

… 

Cruel parting words are said to the other as a last Goodbye. 

Stolas to Blitz in Full Moon:

“Blitz, I think so very highly of you. I didn't realize you think so low of me… Goodbye Blitz”

Octavia to Stolas in Full Moon:

“You lied to me once, you will again. Have a great fucking life with him, Dad.” 

…

Stolas shuts down the conversation. He later teleports Blitz out of the palace.

Octavia shuts down the conversation. She forbids her father from chasing after her any further.

~~~~~~

The same way Blitz was forced to realize that his words and actions hurt Stolas so deeply to the point that he essentially lost him (Stolas) by the end of Apology Tour, and could genuinely do nothing about it, without fucking things up any further.

Stolas is forced to watch the person he cares deeply for, lose trust in him completely, and being unable to do anything about it. Unlike the other times Stolas could just hug his daughter and apologize. and make everything better; things are different now, his apologies don't mean shit to her.  It's too late. He's hurt her too much, and now she's blinded with her growing resentment of him.

Stolas is forced to feel what it's like to be truly abandoned by someone that mattered the world to you; the same way Blitz has gone through that feeling over (his mom)  and over (Fizz)  and over (Barbie) and over (Cash) and over (Stolas) again. Stolas is forced to feel that pain, to know that feeling Blitzø is so terrified of, the feeling of being truly abandoned.

[mrs-monaghan]

Tbh I'm a jikooker, but I find it incredibly difficult to fit a healthy long-term relationship into the same timeline as all of jimin's solo work. It's not the pronouns or taking one lyric very literally, its the entire thing, plus comments from him and his producers. To me, you'd have to do some serious olympic level mental gymnastics to make that make sense. I don't doubt that jikook have a special bond, I've definitely seen things between them that definitely look like sexual attraction to me and things that surpass friendship boundaries, but I can't in good faith say that they're together in some official long-term way if I actually listen to jimin and his work.

I've seen some jikookers think they broke up for a while, but I have to question if those people have ever been through a breakup because the little bit of distance/separation/awkwardness we did see from them during chapter 2 is nothing compared to the type of tension that would be there if a relationship that intimate and intertwined had separated, especially considering the dark feelings jimin was feeling. He wouldn't have been cutely commenting on jungkook's lives and jungkook wouldn't have been asking to hang-out or getting excited to see jimin in his comments.

Idk, I'm sure someone could twist everything a certain way and only take certain things at face-value and then make everything else abstract, etc. to make the case that they are together, but I don't really see it. You look at face-off, alone, and just his general dark feelings during Face, then look at the creation of Muse and how him and his producers said he couldn't relate to the love-dovey beginning songs, which is how they ended up making Who (despite the fact that jikookers try to distance him from the song since he doesn't have writing credits even though he sat in the recording room telling them what he wanted and saying it felt like reading his diary). I think jimin could have very well gone through a pretty awful breakup along with the inner turmoil he was going through post-covid, but I don't think it was with jungkook if he did. I still enjoy jikook's bond either way at the end of the day, but yeah I don't really get how anyone can take an honest look at jimin's work and his words and think he was in a long-term healthy love-of-his-life relationship during that time or into chapter 2.

Not trying to change your opinion or anything, honestly I don't really see it discussed much in jikooker spaces (besides bad-faith stuff like tkkers stirring up shit over pronouns in lyrics which is just dumb) and when it is, some jikookers are pretty pick-and-choose about what they deem to be true to jimin's feelings and what isn't. Which I get being nuanced, but sometimes it does feel like a "well this fits my beliefs so clearly this is true to jimin and this doesn't so it means nothing because he didn't write it" or whatever. I honestly get annoyed with the bad-faith arguers because it prevents being able to have actual discussions about some of this stuff in our little jikooker corner of tumblr. Like "he said her, he's clearly straight! he danced with a girl, straight!" stfu.

I don't have much to say to you anon. Not really. Not anything that hasn't been said anyway. Which you've seen and decided its jkkrs doing mental gymnastics. "I'm a Jikooker but..." its never a great way to start a sentence. It just gives major insecure jkkr vibes which i just 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬 you either believe in them or you don't. There is no if, and or buts.

I will leave you with this; over the years, antis and (insecure) jkkrs alike have always found a way to conclude Jkk aren't as close anymore or they broke up or some other bullshit. But what happens everytime Jikook resurface and we see them together again?

NOTHING HAS CHANGED!!!

Nothing ever changes with these 2! They come back closer, more in sync, happier, more in love and their relationship more established than ever. This happens every👏🏽damn👏🏽time👏🏽 Everytime!

Then the insecure jkkrs will be like "jkk is real" again.

And then we will go without content for a while and once again we are back here with the jkk aren't as close argument. Once again. It is an exhausting cycle that I refuse to be a part of.

You can try and nit pick various reasons as to why Jikook aren't in an established rlship, but I will chose to focus on reasons why they are definitely 130000000% in a relationship. Like the fact that they are enlisted together rn, the fact that they could have done AYS with other members but chose eo. Or the fact that Jimin wrote his name on JK's chest with sunscreen and I dont even want to imagine how he did that. What position they were in that would justify people calling them brothers 😂

You do you anon. I'mma just be over here enjoying Jimin promote the hell out of his favourite JK song.

Tweet

Look at him so proud of his man 🥺🥺

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Come Home With Me (part 1)

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x reader

Warnings: angst

a/n: was sorta crying while writing this, i love this sm..there’s going to be part 2! hope you enjoy it!

From the first moment one of your close friends told you she was getting married, you knew you'd have to mentally prepare for the fact that on her wedding day, your ex would be there.

It wasn't just any ex. It was Carlos Sainz. Your first true love. The boy you thought was the one. The boy with whom you were the happiest ever and for whom you thought there was no one else after him.

But things don't always work out the way we want them to. There is no greater pain than when two people who are made for each other meet at the wrong time.

Even though you both knew it would be difficult, you didn't want to give up on each other at first. When you met, you were 23 and he was 28. You were in the middle of finishing college in Madrid, which meant a lot of responsibilities, a lot of sacrifices, a lot of hard work and effort, a lot of suffering. And he just signed the contract with Ferrari and wanted to prove himself, show what he can do, show that he deserves to be where he is, he focused all his time and energy on his career.

You pushed together for two years, you tried somehow to find time for each other, but over time it became too difficult. He had no understanding of your needs, he devoted himself too much to work and, if you were the one to ask, in the end he gave up too easily on you, on the two of you.

Being with him was difficult at times, but being without him was countless times worse.

Even though you were very young when you first started dating, you wanted everything with him. You didn't see yourself with anyone else but him, nor did you want anyone else but him. And he, 5 years older than you, for him you were not his first love, but you were his greatest. You were his niña. That's how he used to call you. His niña bonita.

You were the one who ended things with him, but that didn't ease your pain at all. On the contrary, you expected him to fight for you, to say okay, we'll find a way to solve this, but he didn't. Therefore, you couldn't wait to finish college and return home to Monaco. You adored Madrid, you fell in love with that city as much as you did with Carlos, but after the breakup it was simply impossible to stay where every street, park, square, every corner where you were together reminded you immeasurably of him.

And so two years later, when your friend Isabella told you she was getting married and that Carlos would be at the wedding, you knew you weren't ready to see him. Two years later you had a new boyfriend Andrew, but deep down you knew you never got over Carlos.

Isabella was the one who introduced you to Carlos. The two of them have always been good friends, so it was logical that he would be invited, but you didn't think about it at all because you tried to suppress every thought about him. You knew you weren’t ready, but there wasn’t nothing you could do about it.

When that long-awaited wedding day came, as you all watched the bride walk towards the altar, you couldn't help but search for his face in the crowd of people in the church.

You shifted in place the whole time, your knees rocking back and forth. Even Andrew noticed something was going on with you.

“Are you alright, love?” He startled you when he asked. You almost forgot Andrew was standing right there behind you.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” You gave him a fake reassuring smile just so that he doesn’t ask any more questions.

You searched and searched and suddenly your eyes stopped at the last row of benches. There he stood, in a dark blue suit, his hair brushed to the side and freshly cut, more beautiful than ever. When you saw him, you didn't know that his brown eyes had already been watching you ever since he entered the church.

Your eyes immediately filled with tears as your gaze met his. It was the perfect moment to pretend you were crying for Isabella walking down the aisle.

“You sure you’re alright?” Andrew whisper-asked again.

“I’m just emotional, everything’s okay.”

In the evening when you arrived at the hotel where the wedding party was, your idea of ​having a good time was long forgotten. The venue was beautiful and luxurious. Everyone was happy, dancing and enjoying the newlyweds' day, only you were extremely nervous because you could feel Carlos' eyes on you all evening.

You tried to ignore him, to relax with a few drinks, but it was simply impossible to pretend he wasn't there.

“I'm going to go out on the terrace for some fresh air, okay?” You turned to Andrew who was talking to a friend that was sitting next to him.

“Okay, love. Give me a kiss.” He said. You leaned down to peck his lips before taking a glass of champagne and heading out.

There were a few people on the terrace, but you found an empty corner for yourself. You leaned your elbows on the fence and took a deep breath, closing your eyes in front of the night lights of beautiful Monaco.

Feeling the cool breeze on your skin, you wished it would take away all the pressure and sadness you carried with you. You wished that it would clear up everything cloudy in your mind that has been preventing you from moving on for two years already.

After about 10 minutes, you pulled yourself together and wanted to go back inside. Just as you finished up the champagne from the glass, you turned to go inside, but suddenly your breath stopped when you saw none other than Carlos standing behind you with his hands in his pockets and watching you with tilted head.

Your heart started pounding like crazy and your body froze in front of him.

“Carlos..” You barely spoke in a whisper.

“Y/n” He said quietly taking a step closer to you making you take a step back until your back hit the fence.

You didn't know what to say, what to do, even if you wanted to run away, your feet were as if glued to the floor. You just stood there in front of him looking straight into his eyes.

“What are you doing out here alone?” He asks breaking the silence between you two.

“I just needed to get some fresh air, that’s all.” You weren’t lying.

“Did my presence make you nervous?”

“No, your presence here doesn’t have anything to do with me.” But now you were.

“How have you been?”

“Good, very good actually.” Another lie.

“You’re not gonna ask me how I’ve been?”

“That’s none of my business anymore, so no. I don’t care.” He nods his head at your untrue words looking down at the floor.

“So who is that boy you came with?”

“That’s Andrew. My boyfriend.” You say biting the inside of your cheek. You almost felt guilty for calling him your boyfriend. Andrew. You were sure he was gonna go look for you if you don’t come back soon. “I should go. He’s probably looking for me right now.” You say trying to walk by past him, but he stops you by pulling you back by your elbow.

“Don’t go yet.”

“Why not? We have nothing to talk about.” You pull your elbow out of his grip, but you don't leave.

“Because you never left my mind.” He says. “Or heart.” He adds.

“It’s a little too late for that. You should’ve thought about that before you let me go.”

“Y/n, you were the one who broke up with me. I never wanted to end things between us.”

“You didn’t want to end things between us yet you gave up on us without a fight, so easily Carlos..” You fought with yourself not to cry. You didn't want to look weak in front of him even though you wanted to let him know how much he hurt you.

“That doesn’t mean I stopped loving you.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better or what?” You asked with a sneer. “I have a boyfriend now, I moved on Carlos. I’m happy.” You say hoping you sound convincing at least to him if not to yourself.

“You’re lying, I know you are. I can feel it.” He takes another step closer until you can feel his breath on your skin as he looks down at you. He puts his hands on the fence on either side so that you are between them. “You can lie to yourself all you want, but you know you’re always gonna be mi niña. Mi niña bonita.” Your heart aches and trembles at the same time at your forever favorite nickname. He puts his hand on your cheek as he leans very close to your face.

“Carlos, stop..” Your voice cracks as you lean your cheek into his hand.

“Come home with me, baby. Please.”

“And where is that Carlos? Where is my home?”

“Your home is in Madrid, with me.” His hands move from your face to your hands taking them into his and bringing them to his lips.

“You know, while Isabella was walking down the aisle, I couldn't help but imagine that it was you, and that I was there waiting for you at the altar.” Tears just flowed down your cheeks as you listened to him say everything you once wanted to hear.

“Remember how we used to fantasize about it. I still want all of that, y/n. Letting you go was the biggest mistake ever. I am so sorry baby.”

“Yet you never cared enough to look for me. Your words don’t match your actions, Carlos.” Once again you pull yourself out of his grip and step away further from him. Listening to him was causing you too much pain especially because you still wanted all of that as well, but your pride did not allow you to surrender to your emotions.

“Because I knew you were suffering and I didn’t want to be the reason of that! I’m sorry, y/n, I wish I could go back in time and make you stay.” He says flustered, waving his arms.

Right in that moment, Andrew’s voice interrupts you breaking you from your bubble in which you found yourself in completely forgetting where you are.

“Y/n?” You quickly wipe the tears from your cheeks and the smeared mascara under your eyes.

“Well, I’m sorry too, Carlos.” With that you leave him standing there on the terrace as you turn around and head towards Andrew.

part 2

[sams-butt-dem0n]

The gang reacting to reader breaking up with them

DARRY doesn't really know what to do when you break the news to him that you're dumping him. He stands there shocked for a few seconds to gather his emotions before even attempting to ask.

"Why? Did I do something?" He says, his chin shaking a little but you can visibly see him pushing back the tears.

"I just can't deal with this anymore," you say. "All I'm trying to do is help you provide for your family and you can't even stop for ten minutes to say thank you and spend a little time with me. Ten minutes. that's all I'm asking for."

You can see the guilt written all over his face. You knew he wasn't going to change - you had this discussion many times before and every time it ended the same: him saying he'll change and that he's sorry you feel that way, and then never doing anything about it and going back to work the next day as if what you had talked about meant nothing.

He just nodded and let a singular tear roll down his cheek as he opened his front door for you and watched you walk down the street with your bags and out of his life forever.

SODAPOP would completely fall apart if you dumped him. He would come home from work with a huge grin plastered on his face, ready to give you a cuddle and a kiss but it soon dropped when he saw you. Standing there with a bag on the table, waiting for him. There was nobody else home, it was supposed to be a day dedicated to the two of you.

"Babe, what's going on?" He asks. "Are we going on a road trip or something? because if we are, give me five minutes for a shower and I'll-"

"Soda," you say, cutting him off.

You saw his head hang to the floor, his eyes darted at the floor. He knew what was happening. he just didn't want to admit it.

"I'm sorry," you say.

"Why?" He asks, hot tears streaming down his face as he looks up to meet your eyes, his stare hurting your heart. "What did I do? I'll fix it I promise. I promise I'll fix whatever you think went wrong."

You sighed, your breath shaking from the water gathering in your eyes. "There's nothing left to fix, sodapop. It's already shattered."

And with that, you pick up your bag, grab his hand and give it a small squeeze, your last touch of Sodapop Curtis, before walking out and not looking back once.

PONYBOY would be a mix between Darry and Soda. He wouldn't know what to do considering you were his first-ever girlfriend and he would also be heartbroken beyond belief. You would be a little mean about the breakup, not to hurt his feelings, but to make sure he never came back into your life. To make sure he thought you were gone for good and there was nothing he could do to change your mind.

"Ponyboy," you say, sitting up from being laid on his bed. "There's something I gotta talk to you about."

Convern layers through his eyes. "Yeah, sure. What's wrong?"

You sigh. "Before I say anything, I just want you to know that you are such a sweet guy and I will always appreciate you for everything you've done for me and all the sunsets you've shown me."

"Y/n," he begins, his voice much quieter now. "What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Pony," you say, wiping a tear from your cheek and standing up. "I can't be with you any more."

"What?" He asks, his voice cracking. He stays seated and just looks up at you in disbelief, not wanting to accept what you're saying.

"You're just too immature. I know we're only kids and that's what young boys do but I need someone who isn't gonna spend their life goofing around and starting fights with random people. I don't want to be with someone who has nothing lying ahead for them. Don't get me wrong, I think you're real sweet 'n all but it's just not good enough for me to stay. I'm sorry."

Tears were falling down his cheeks, somewhat gracefully, leaving a hot pink trail behind. He says nothing as he watches you leave his room, say goodbye to the gang as if you hadn't just shattered his heart, and walk out.

DALLAS would pretend to be unfazed. Especially if you hadn't been dating for that long. It would be short and snappy.

"I'm breaking up with you."

"Okay."

You're not gonna ask me why?"

"Nah."

-

However, if the two of you had been together for over a year, I'd say; he would be destroyed. You were the only thing he loved, apart from Johnny. You were the only person he had ever said those three words to you. You were his first everything, and now he had lost you. It was all his fault.

"Can I do anything to make you stay?" He asks, his cheeks a lot redder than usual and his eyebrows furrowed, a giveaway that he is upset.

"No," you say, as coldly as you can, wanting to get away and cry for a few days.

"So that's it then?" He says. "I tell you that I love you and this is how you repay me? I give you everything I have, knowing what it could do to my reputation, and this is what I get?"

He scoffs. "So much for love, huh?"

He would be the one to walk away from you, not having the power to throw an insult, just letting his heart slowly split in two as he feels his soul separate. He had not only lost you, but he had lost a part of himself, too.

JOHNNY was used to being left, uncared for, abandoned, and mistreated. But he never expected it from you, the one person he thought loved him. He would cry just like he did in the lot when he and Pony had that talk (Yk what I'm talking about).

"Johnny," you say. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asks, confusion written all over his face.

You sigh and lift up a bag of all of the things he had given or made you during your relationship. Cards, love letters, teddies, jackets, bracelets. Everything.

"I- I don't understand," he says, his eyes welling up with tears.

"It's not your fault, Johnny. It's me." You say, the words breaking your heart. "I just can't do it anymore. It's too much for me. I'm sorry."

"But-"

"Don't." You say. "If you say anything, I'll end up running back to you and apologising. I don't want to do this, Johnny. But it's what's best."

TWO-BIT definitely thinks you're joking at first, and thinks that you're playing some sick prank on him.

"Haha, very funny, sweetheart," he says. "But seriously, what did you want to say."

He swings an arm over your shoulders, causing you to push him away and glare at him.

"I'm not messin'" you say, watching his face drop.

"Huh?" Two-bit says. "I don't understand. Why are you doin' this?"

"I have to. I'm not happy, Kieth. I'm sure you'd rather be happy in the future without me than be depressed knowing that your girlfriend doesn't love you like she used to."

A tear slips from his eye. "You don't love me anymore?"

You shake your head, tears flowing down your face, painting the skin red. "No. I don't."

STEVE would be like Dally. He'd pretend to be so unbothered and then as soon as you leave, he'd gradually break down throughout a couple of days until he can't fight his emotions for much longer. He and Soda would sit and get so drunk to try and distract Steve from whatever was going on, Darry would constantly be checking in on him, and Dallas would be so beyond pissed at you for hurting him, you'd think there was a manhunt out for you.

"Honey," Steve says. "Is everything alright? You seem a little off lately. Is it something I did?"

You and Steve had been arguing a lot lately, and it was tiring the both of you out. It was either going to end now or end badly, no in-between.

"I think we should break up. Not take a break - break up." You said, straight to the point.

His face said all that his words didn't. His eyes pleaded for your forgiveness, the softness of his pupils melting into yours, his brown orbs absorbing you into his atmosphere like you were there for him and him only. You had to escape now before you were trapped forever.

"Okay."

He shrugs and leaves you there, in the middle of the street. Confused and alone. Just like you had left him.

[inbabylontheywept]

Hi there! I just read through a few of your long form posts -- the one about the boss and the glue traps and the lizards, the one about the friend and the radishes and the cop, and the one about the breakup and the car and the neighbor's car and your dad -- and I'm just really blown away by your writing. And I'm just curious, are they actual experiences or are they fiction? They read like actual experiences, and the writing is so naturalistic and...idk, low key sweet, stream of consciousness without the major sidetracking that often happens in stream of consciousness writing and also more...more poetical in a way, I guess. I don't know. Are you published or wanting to? I mean I couldn't help with that or anything but if you've got a book out I'd love to read it.

Patrick McManus was kind of THE legendary writer to my family. When my dad was a kid, he'd sit on the porch the door that the monthly copy of Outdoor Life was going to arrive, and as soon as he got it, he'd run in with it and take it to his dad, who would gather all his kids around and read the stories out loud.

My dad loved it because his dad would make a whole performance out of the readings: He'd do voices, pantomimes, dramatic sound effects, the works. The stories are amazing, but the out-of-character behavior from his dad was half the selling point. Grandpa Hank was, to his core, a good man. But he was gruff, and socially, pretty stiff, and he didn't often show emotion. I think my dad said he saw him tear up one time growing up, and it was when he got dropped off at the MTC. My mom was married to my dad for three years before Grandpa Hank was comfortable enough to sit down in their house, and he liked her. That's just how he was.

(You just praised me for not getting sidetracked, but I'm letting myself wander down those memories a bit. He died last year. I miss him terribly.)

Anyway: Those stories were how I first started learning how to spin a yarn. I got older and I got more influence than just cowboys and Westerns, but the soul of my style is still just The American Tall Tale.

Which is to say that they're not outright fabrications. When I say that I cut all the worms up in my backyard and had a panic attack and hid in a tree until my mom got me, that happened. But I only remember the vaguest outlines of the words that were said. When there's a line in that story about my mom telling me that she's sure the worms will forgive me because they got six hearts to love and no bones to pick, that's not how she talks. That's how I talk.

Other stories, they're far less fuzzy than that, but I can still point out things I don't know. Wrestling story was from middle school, and a lot of those "crisp details" are just me painting by vibe. I've had some people that did wrestling through highschool point out things like refs not actually counting to three, or how double-legs are not actually super effective for tall wrestlers. I don't actually know how much the woman I wrestled weighed, nor do I remember how much I weighed, except that I was more than two weight classes smaller than her. Car incident, I got broke up with, went to her parents door, waited on the lawn, and was given some olives to go with a wireless phone. But exact wording of a lot of the people involved fails me. As a rule, the weirder an event is, the more likely I am to be distinctly remembering it and not just filling in the background. Except for dialogue, which often turns out weird because when I have to make up things for other characters to say, it carries too much of my own speaking style in it, and that's always been weird.

There are even points where things do come right off the rails. In the stories about J post, J himself became a sort of mythic figure after he moved, and lot of the stories about him, I don't even know I'm remembering them first hand or second hand from a story someone else shared with me.

I know it would be easier to just go, yeah, they're true, or no, they're not, but I did a weird thing and mixed them up and now even I'm a little confused.

Regarding publishing: I'm not published, and the thought of trying to get published scares the shit out of me. I

I don't know. If anyone has advice, I'd be interested.

[cheriladycl01]

I loved Lando x Actress reader. Can I have Lando x singer reader? Thank uuuuu 🫶🏻

Sing your heart out because he ripped your heart out! Lando Norris x Singer! Reader

Plot: You are a famous singer who was in a pretty toxic relationship and have been single and 'off the grid' for 2 years since your breakup. You come back online dropping a new album that gets people stirred from the tea but the tease at your new relationship.

"Today here on Off Camera with me Sam Jones we have Y/N Y/L/N here to talk about everything, from her new albums and songs, to her hiatus, to her sightings, to her relationships" he smiles looking over at you.

"Thank you for having me, it feels great being back and you know talking and meeting new people and I've always wanted to be on a podcast like this so I'm very excited!" you smile and get comfier into the nice seats you guys are in.

"So i think we've got to ask how are you feeling after your time away from the media?"

"So refreshed it was really healing to take myself away from everything. I think a lot of things were being said about me when I first deactivated everything. A lot of them being outright lies, and you know I didn't want to be aware of what people were saying... naturally" you starts and he nods for you to continue.

"But everyday I'd have my friends coming to me saying... have you seen what Taylor Swift has tweeted about you, have you seen what Beyonce and RiRi said. And I'd be like no and I don't even want to know. But when she showed me the love I was getting from all of these amazing people I've worked and collabed with over the years, movie stars who I've walked red carpets with and been in cameos of their movies, models who I've walked runways with all sticking up for me saying how they couldn't imagine anything said about my relationship to be true" you explain and he nods again.

"Yeah, it was actually really moving seeing all these people coming together for you in support! I think even after what certain people said about you the large majority had your back..." he admits to you.

"Yeah, I mean i have some great friends in the industry that you know would message me and always check up on me, so its nice to know that I have people in my corner, after everything that happened!"

"Yeah of course, and I think your new album really shows your raw emotions and I think a lot of people have easily related. So lets go through the album, we have Vicious, which talks about obviously Y/E/B and the emotional scars he's left on you. One of my personal faves is 'bet u wanna' where you talk about being mistreated in relationship and calling it off only for them to want you back. Nonsense which obviously has made your fans go stir crazy- wondering whose got you feeling this way. Bad for Business which obviously has a similar tune to Nonsense in whoever you are talking about, and may i just say people will listen to the happy songs because they are incredible! But talk us through the creative process and how your time away released all of these on the album and more!"

"I think, when you go through something like i did. Where you don't necessarily see and end you have these raw emotions that just tend to write themselves on the paper. I had many nights where I'd be sat in the studio hair pulled back, a massive slice of Pizza on my left and a bottle of water on the other and it would honestly just write itself. There were some nights where I'd just cry and sit there. I think things really sped up when I met my current partner" you blush, thinking how much that silly vroom vroom man had helped you.

"Who is he, and how did he help, how did you both meet if you can tell us!" he asks leaning back a little.

"Well, I'm currently dating F1 driver Lando Norris which when this podcast airs and sure will be a shock to everyone. We met when I was in a really weird patch. I think it had been about 8 months I want to say of being single and dealing through my grief and not really knowing what to do with myself. My ex of 5 years was now dating and having a child with the girl he cheated on me with, and honestly I was a mess. My dad decided to take me to a race, it was the one in Austin, we had paddock passes and that's where I met him" you grin thinking back to the day.

*Flashback*

You were at the Circuit of the Americas for race weekend, you were tucked behind your dad who had found some mechanics he was animatedly talking too. Your dad always had a real love for cars, and when you'd made it as a musician you brought him and your mother a larger house with a big garage for a car collection you'd help him grow.

"Damn you've got loads man. How's your girl affording all of this?" the mechanic asks not having seen you as you were wearing both sunglasses and a Ferrari cap.

"I have a ... lucrative job" you croak out a little, if you were being honest with yourself this was probably the first interaction you'd had with a stranger in months, even just any human at that as your contact had been very limited over the past 8 months even to friends and family.

"Ahhh, so what's your fav car in the collection Mr Y/L/N?" the mechanic asks, and some nods from his pals also tells you guys that their interested.

"Oo that's hard it's got to be a toss up between my Mclaren 650S, the Ferrari F8 Spider, or my Rolls Royce Ghost" your father admits trying to think to his collection.

"Not the Porsche?" knowing you'd got that for him for his 50th.

"Mmmmm I forgot about the Porsche" he admits with a chuckle. The mechanics just all looked very shocked at the sheer amount of cars your dad has in his collection.

"Give me a second, I want to see if I can get you guys a garage pass upgrade. I bet you'll want to check out the car's yeah?" he asks making your dad nod very quickly.

You pull your glasses off to give them a wipe as the heat was making them fog up a little and the mechanic gasps, you cock your head realizing he's recognized you.

He scurries of, running back to the Aston Martin garage, he tells all of his friends but says to keep it quiet as he could tell you'd been going through it. Aston Martin didn't have any passes left, so he went to the other garages begging to give you a pass.

"Who did you say was here?" Lando had asked from beside his team mate Daniel Ricciardo.

"Y/N Y/L/N but don't make it public knowledge she's clearly just here to watch the race with her car enthusiast dad. Who did you know owns over 10 super cars that Y/N has brought for him, he was telling me all about his Ferrari" the mechanic starts to ramble before Lando gets him to stop.

"Take me to her, and I'll give her the pass" Lando had offered, wanting to meet you, it wasn't uncommon knowledge that he liked both you and Taylor Swift and had even DJed some of your 'nightcore' remixes.

"Okay! Okay come with me" the young mechanic said, darting of making Lando run after him asking him to slow down a little.

"Hello, this is a Mclaren Driver he's ..." the mechanic starts before you offer him a small small.

"I know who he is Dean, thank you for introducing us" you smile, and he grins at you. You and your father get handed the passes and your walking back to Mclaren at Lando's side.

He was attractive and most certainly your type. He had that goofiness about him that had you laughing for what felt like the first time in 3 years. Yet a seriousness and passion for his sport when talking to you and your dad about the car he was more than happy to show off to you.

"So you'll only be cheering for me right?" Lando flirts as your dad introduced himself to Daniel Ricciardo and Zac Brown.

"I think that depends Mr Norris, are you going to give me a cheer worthy race?" you question looking up him. His face lights up and a big grin comes onto his face.

"Always, you'll see the Papaya on a podium today I'm sure of it!" he offers and you smirk.

"You get that podium and I'll take you out afterwards"

"On like a date?" he asks a little cautious with his tone.

"Yes a date" you nod and his face lights up.

"Yeah alright, your on" he smirks, he turns away to get ready for his race, but turns back placing a cheeky kiss on your cheek making it your turn to blush.

True to his word, Lando came second on Sunday. You took him out on your guy's first date and the rest is history.

*Back to the podcast*

"Wow, that really is such a beautiful story. And from how you talk about him we can tell that you are really happy" he smiles genuinely.

"I don't think I've ever felt so secure with a person. I think it's safe to say I've found my person. I went through a lot with Y/E/B and Lando has helped me overcome a lot of the trauma from that relationship, and I cannot thank him enough for how patient, caring and loving he has been for the past year" you smile, before turning your gaze to the side to look at a teary Lando who had come to the podcast with you, you were scared and didn't want to go alone.

"Well I think it's safe to say we are all so happy you are back, thriving making music and doing what you do best!" he smiles.

After that your asked a few more questions which you happily talk through and answer, before it's wrapped up and time to leave.

"How was that baby?" he asks knowing this was your first media thing to help ease you back into that 'lime-light' life.

"It felt good to just vent, and talk about everything" you smiled at him. It was truly healing for your soul.

"I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you for today!" he grins at you, pulling you in for a kiss. He holds you close, while another hand travels up to caress the side of your face.

"I love you most, which is why I need you to help me announce the 2023 tour... and my new album!" you grin, and he grins back.

"What are they called?" he mumbles into your neck that he'd found retirement in.

"The Grid!" you grin, Lando didn't know but you planned your next tour for 2023 around the 2023 races.

"Hmmm and what does that entail" he smirks.

"Well, I'll get to come to every race weekend with you this year, my tour is roughly going to follow the races. I'll venture out as well when you have breaks and stuff but I don't want to be away from you for too long, and I want to get back on the scene. I'm ready!" you admit and he smiles at you softly before lifting you up into a huge bear hug.

"Did i mention how much I love you?" he asks.

"Every day Lan, every day" you smile at him, pulling him in for another bruising kiss.

It was safe to say, that even though you'd been treated like shit in the past, Lando Norris was the love of your life. Your soulmate that held the other end of the invisible string that had kept tugging you both closer together.

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