#and don’t wanna vent directly to anyone

[fen-the-space-dragon]

Every passing day. My need for therapy grows. Exponentially. Yet every time I try to get it, something gets in the way. Isn’t that funny? Cuz I think that’s so fucking funny. Now my parents are trying to help me get on meds. I wonder what will get in the way of me getting help this time

[professionaljester]

another day another day going to work an waking up miserable

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 46)

He crawled back out of the vent, doing his best to conceal the way fear clung to his casing like a vice, the vile, offending piece of cloth stashed away in his pocket, it felt heavy there, like just having it in his possession was inviting something terrible into his life, he tried his best not to think about it.

“Find anything?” Hal asked, leaning back on the wardrobe, facing away from the ever watchful eyes of the porcelain dolls. They were extra freaky now, amplified the feeling he was having of being watched. His tail twitched, reacting to his inner fears and beginning to coil up, every single sense he had dialed up past eleven to the point he could hear the oil rushing in his bosses tubing with a startling degree of clarity.

Should he say something? He felt as though Doll was exclusively a him problem, something that he alone, or at least him, V, and Uzi should deal with alone. At the same time though, Doll had killed worker drones, many many worker drones, and was a equal threat to those that lived here then she was just to his family. The simple peice of cloth seemed to become heavier, he looked at Hal.

He’d not met him but yesterday, but still felt that he could at least trust the man, he’d defended Uzi, showed concern over both his daughter and himself, but a day wasn’t really enough to truly gauge how someone was, N wasn’t so naive.

“Yeah, I did. But it’s… complicated. Tell you when we get out of here?” He settled on that, he’d tell Hal, maybe more eyes and ears would allow them to find her faster, not giving her a chance to think about going after the people he loved, or anyone for that matter.

Hal immediately looked taken aback, like this wasn’t something he was expecting before he nodded and looked back at the doorway, Mrs. Hopkins still hadn’t arrived to check on them.

“She fell asleep sitting on the couch, what do you wanna tell her?” Hal asked, putting a strong hand on N’s shoulder, N appreciated the gesture and he sighed, turning over his decision in his head,

“I don’t think it would effect Mrs.Hopkins, whoever was up there wasn't here for her.” He said after thinking for a moment, if Doll wanted to harm the old lady… for whatever reason. She'd already be dead, and they would be here for a different reason entirely.

“So, say theres nothing to calm the paranoid old lady, while investigating the vents more closely?” Hal suggested, running a hand through his beard.

“That's lying…”

“That's keeping the peace, N.”

Hal was probably right, as much as N really didn't like it. If this lady was already paranoid, telling her it was justified would probably only double it, and possibly distract other officers by calling in false flags.

“O-okay.” It was more stammered then he'd intended, and Hal nodded, leading him out of the room and into the living room where the old drone was, head resting on the back of the couch, snoring.

Hal cleared his throat to try to wake her up, but if anything it only made her snore louder, Hal sighed, but before he could do anything else, N took over, kneeling in front of where she was on the couch and shaking her gently.

She woke up immediately, startling before quickly realizing who was in front of her, even if for her he looked like a tall blurry white and black blob.

“Oh! Did you find anything?” She asked him and him directly, and he froze for a second, he was terrible at lying, he'd always been terrible at lying, his eye's moved over to Hal, who looked at him expectantly.

“Nope! J-just a colony of robo-roaches, you and your apartment are safe.” He smiled, his eye twitched and he stammered, almost wincing.

Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice, and gave him a small smile.

“Ah, well thank you for checking anyway young man, I appreciate it.” She reached up and pinched his cheek, it didn't hurt, but it did succeed in making him feel leagues worse about lying to her face.

“No p-problem!” He quickly stood up, trying to make as much distance between them as possible as quickly as possible, sweat digitized on his visor as he looked away.

Lying was like a hot-iron on his soul. She'd probably be fine if Doll had already been here, but he didn't know that.

“We'll take our leave now Mrs. Hopkins, take care now.” Hal took over from there, leaving N to stand at attention beside him and begin to zone out.

He thought he'd been dealing with the threat of Doll decently well, but now, with this kind of upset, he had found that he'd simply not been dealing with it at all, putting it in back of his head in favor of anything else.

Why couldn't… why couldn't things just leave him and Uzi alone? Why couldn't he just have this? Domestic Bliss until their cores gave out, and they'd be surrounded by their kids and grandkids, hand in hand as they drifted off together into that sweet nothing.

That… was actually kind of sad to think about, and chances were one of them would probably fall permanently offline before the other, statisticly. But it was still a nice thought, going together.

But no. No they couldn't have that, clearly the universe wouldn't let them.

“N. You alright?” Hal's voice knocked him out of it, and he'd only now realized they were almost back to the office, had he really followed Hal back on autopilot?

“Talk about it in your office?”

“Deal, and I'll get ya a drink, I don't like that look on your face.”

They made their way quickly to Hal's office, and N quickly took note of the space. Many pictures of him and who he presumed was his wife, a redhead with bright, white eyelights. Her hair was braided, and in her arms was a little droneling with florescent pink eyes, he was smiling, but he looked… off.

Aside from the many pictures, there were trophies and medals congratulating the man on jobs well done

“Alright, what cha find that got your tail kinking up like a scorpion?” N blinked before looking back at his tail, it was poised, ready to dart forward at a moments notice.

He took the strip of cloth out of his pocket and handed it off. Hal took it and turned it in his hands, squinting his eyes as he turned a brow up, clearly questioning.

“It's-It belongs to an outfit of a worker drone. Doll.-” He paused, looking for Hal's reaction to his words, the older man remained calm, but his questioning look dissipated at the mention of the drones name. “She caused all those deaths around prom this year, and… she's after V, and my family, specifically.”

“I'm aware of what she's done, I launched a search for her, but we quickly lost the trail.”

“She can teleport, so that's not surprising.”

At that, Hal seemed startled, he opened his mouth, seemed to decide against what he was going to say, before starting again.

“I… didn't know that.”

“We… uh, Uzi, V and I. She was after V, and probably me by extension of… what I am. But Uzi stepped in, She's… a target as well.”

“Does she know about your daughter?”

N gulped, feeling his core shudder at that thought.

“I don't know…”

Hal looked away from him, once again tangling his fingers in beard, When he looked back, N was looking out the door, fist balled, a worried look that Hal recognized sometimes in the mirror.

“Yeah, I'll get some teams to do a through look through the vents.” He said eventually, stepping towards N in a way that both suggested authority and kindness.

“You. Go home.”

“W-what? Did I do something w-wrong?” Immediately N's head snapped back to attention, like a spring that had coiled up too tight.

“No, you've done everything right so far, impressed the hell outta me even. But I'm not gonna make you sit at work and worry till ya scream. Plus, If you all are a target, you should be in our short-range system now, you can call in any time.”

“Thank you. Thank you so much Hal.”

“Still want you in the office tomorrow! Need to talk to ya some more!”

He shouted at N's retreating figure, before he glanced at his old family photo, it took a moment, before he tore his eyes away and sat down at his desk, looking at the scrap of cloth with apprehension.

Next->

[spaceagebachelormann]

Alright, last one, I promise!!

Could I please request headcanons for all the Ride the Cyclone kids finding out their S/O is getting bullied, and how they would react? I would love to see what you do with something like this!!

Thanks in advance, and I hope you’re doing well!! 🖤🖤🖤

the choir finding out their s/o is being bullied

pairing: st. cassian chamber choir x gn reader

warnings: bullying (obviously), everyone destroying your bullys life, wounds, fights (cough mischa and penny cough)

a/n: i love writing for rtc sm

masterlist

Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg

jaw drops when she sees someone bothering you

really upset you didn’t tell her

she’s very popular and every teachers favourite student, she could’ve helped you!! :((

comforts you afterwards, still a bit angry you didn’t tell anyone about how you were being bullied, but she understands you may have gotten pressured into it

let’s you vent to her <3

will destroy the reputation of the person/people who bullied you

is so mad and makes sure they’re absolutely humiliated

Noel Gruber

also a bit annoyed you didn’t tell him

is understanding of why you didn’t however

doesnt force you to vent to him or tell him what happened, let’s you tell him that on your own and listens intently when you do

he’s the type to have dirt on everyone from being observant, so he plots something to use that against them

he makes sure to walk you home and always be near you in hallways in case someone comes to bother you

if they do he runs to your aid and calls them out on something embarrassing

they don’t even look at you again afterwards

Mischa Bachinski

his rage kicks in

you’ve never seen his face so red

storms up to your bully and just starts fuckin swinging and hitting

he has to be physically pulled off of them by like 15 people

a few mins later when he gets everyone to fuck off he drags you away to somewhere private

cleans up any wounds you may have

asks the important questions

how long has this been happening? does he need to go back and finish what he started? are you okay? do you need anything?

seems to always be around you after that day…

Ricky Potts

so shocked

at a loss for words

sits you down and asks if you wanna talk about it or if there’s anything he can do

so devastated to find this out

hes sad for the rest of the day :((

hugs you and takes you to various places to make you feel better <333

will 100% beat your bully(s) with his crutches or give them to mischa to beat them with <3

checks up with you between classes after finding out, always somehow bailing you out of school if you feel uncomfortable

Jane Doe/Penny Lamb

goes fucking feral

gently and calmly moves you away from them, before going at it

you knew she was a lil bit insane but not this insane

she’s biting, scratching, kicking, and punching all at the same time

mischa is standing there yelling words of encouragement and wiping tears away at how far his bestie has come

after that she checks on you to make sure you weren’t hurt in any way

if you were she goes back and finishes what she started <33

very scary, nobody messes with you ever again

Constance Blackwood

not the type to barge in and immediately defend you

but she’s there for emotional support afterwards <3

lets you cry into her shoulder, rubs your back, is really caring

she’s too shy to directly do anything about it, but luckily she friends with ocean and tells her what happened and because ocean is friends with everyone and loves you (because she’d 100% be friends with her friends s/o)

ocean…..gets them…. expelled… not what you wanted but it’s good enough!

if you still don’t feel safe after that, she walks you home and stuff (like noel) <33

[bulldog-geckorahhhhh]

Oogh. I’m feeling. Not good uh. Tiny vent under cut cause I don’t wanna directly bother anyone because I’m. Scared 👍

Im scared the friends I rely on the most hate me. Im just scared that I keep making mistakes. I may just be bad at reading cue and tone- and it may not even be my fault. I’m fully aware I don’t know all the facts- but I’m SO scared that I’m a problem. I made like. One mistake. But I just can’t help but think they hate me a little. Maybe I need to take a break. But I’m beating myself up over small things. I’m willing to give up things that make me really happy for my friends because I don’t want to upset them. Im not trying to make myself out to be noble or like. Ohhhh pity me I’m giving up stuff but I dunno. I just love my friends 

[clowningaroundmars]

previously:

In the midst of the sudden chaos, Gwen’s wide eyes honed in on one particular screen, which was pointed directly at the collider room’s interior…

... And directly at earth-42’s Miles Morales himself.

now, in this chapter, we get to see how the kids get themselves out of this pickle! will they reconcile and set aside their differences to work together? and who is this Doctor Octopus from earth-42 anyways?! the nerve of this guy!

all will be revealed in this part. enjoy! :)

<< part 2 of 4 >>

Gwen jumped into action… into the security room. Once the men all filed out into the hallways, she webbed the door shut behind them.

There was no way of her knowing if this was even the only security room in the entire building, but whatever. Spiderpeople didn’t usually stop to think about such small details, not when time was of the essence!

As quickly as humanly possible, while also keeping an eye on the collider room’s screen, she followed the wires from the various TVs all hooked into one main power source behind the desks and found just what she was looking for: a main fuse box.

That was the lucky thing about being trapped in the basement level in most situations; it often gave anyone access to main power sources!

This one looked… strange, though. Definitely unlike any other power source she’s encountered before, with its glowing green lights and circuit-like patterns etched all over the inner panels. It looked somewhat like the circuits 42 played with in her own prison-room from before.

Whatever. All of these gadgets were destroyed the same way anyways, so without further ado…

BANG!

The panel almost blew Gwen’s right arm off, emitting weird green electric sparks everywhere and billowing smoke pathetically afterwards.

She shook her arm off and rubbed at her knuckles while turning back to the screens, relieved to see that her quick thinking got her just the results she was looking for.

Every single screen mounted on the walls and sitting on desks were black now. She accepted this small victory before focusing again.

Ok, no more time to waste. We gotta get to Miles!

Gwen bit her lip and flew up into the vents once more, absolutely high-tailing it through the enclosed space she was just in moments earlier. She didn’t care that she was most likely making a ruckus on the metal surface, the alarms were probably drowning the sounds out anyways.

Once Gwen reached the vent opening she initially entered, the guards had already made their way past the entrances and swarmed the interior, weapons drawn.

No trigger discipline on these guys, not a single one… what a shame.

Her wide lenses bounced everywhere trying to look for her friend and her sight led her from the tips of the goons' guns all the way over to...

The collider!

42 was perched on the top of one side of the super-collider that was in the process of being built, glaring down at the henchmen milling around near the lab equipment, taking their aim.

It was lucky that he was too far away for their bullets to hit with any semblance of accuracy, because once he saw them pour into the room, he quickly got to work, easily dodging their shots.

42 planted various small bombs that stuck to the sides of the intricate equipment, clawing at wires, hosing, and metal coils all the way down.

“Whaddya doin’ you morons? GET DOWN THERE!!” One of the goons bellowed at the crowd, prompting many of them to start a mad dash down the various stepladders in the corners of the room.

“Oh no you don’t!” Gwen shouted as she leaped through the air and flipped gracefully onto the scene. “You wanna get to him? Get through me, first!”

She pirouetted sharply, delivering a lethal kick to one of the henchmen’s sides and sending him sprawling and crashing through a couple of desks.

Chaos erupted once again, alarms still blaring through the compound, lights flashing, blows landing everywhere and shots ringing out every so often.

The burlier guys stuck to the fight, meanwhile the more agile ones of the bunch quickly snuck away from the fray and slid down the ladders down into the collider’s massive housing.

While Gwen handled the bigger guys, the small fries tumbled down the steep slope towards their second target. However, their odds were already stacked against them anyhow, since 42 was prepared for their eventual arrival.

Once the masked vigilante was done rigging up his bombs to one side of the collider’s build, he attached a grappling hook to it and used it to swing down and towards the small crowd already gathered directly underneath him.

One of the goons couldn’t even aim at the moving target, he didn’t get the chance to shoot; 42 flew right past them, leaving them nasty little surprises on their backs and sides, all the metal bombs softly beeping and counting down to the men's inevitable demise.

From there, 42 did a barrel-roll on the ground and got a running start uphill. Up, up, up, until he had to engage his anti-gravity sneakers in order to stick to all of the metallic components that lined the wall of the cavernous room in his climb back up to the lab.

With a grunt of effort, 42 hoisted himself up into the next fight, immediately leaping like a giant cat with his claws out at Gwen’s final foe.

The goon was the biggest guy of them all, tanking Gwen's hits like they were nothing. Curse that armor… if there was a way to get past all of his Kevlar, she would’ve done it ages ago!

But her prayers were answered when the man howled like a wounded bison suddenly, and he ducked and jived all around, dropping his weapon.

She leaped up onto a wall for safety, watching with wide eyes as 42 clung onto the man for dear life with his claws sunk into the man’s sides, eventually getting an arm around the man’s neck and choking him out slowly.

The man was not going down without a fight, though. They both plowed through a few desks and sent equipment flying everywhere in their struggle.

After the guy finally drops down onto his knees and passes out, both vigilantes suddenly turn as they hear various other boots clanging onto the metal bars of the ladders just below them.

Shit. The other guys finally made it to the ladders again, trying to get back up into the lab!

No time for that. 42 motions for Gwen to follow him, and she does-- after webbing one of the climbing henchman’s hands to the floor first.

He shouts with indignation, and she flips him off and laughs as they dash out of the room and out into the corridors once again.

The bombs then went off, all of the explosives detonating all at once and causing the area nearby to rumble as giant hunks of metal blew off of the collider and fell to the ground.

The screams of the men could be heard from blocks, echoing through the halls and following the fleeing teens.

But those weren’t all of the henchmen, unfortunately, and they had to run up and down the maze-like hallways to try and avoid being captured by Doc Ock’s other security personnel who hurried towards the commotion.

Bemusedly, Gwen thought back to those old Scooby Doo cartoons she used to watch often, where the Mystery Gang would run up and down hallways during their iconic chase scenes. Her and 42 were no Velma and Shaggy, but her brain still took her there anyways.

They skidded to a stop once a platoon of them seemed to turn down a corner from out of nowhere, weapons already brandished and pointing directly in front of them.

Wordlessly, 42 and Gwen glanced at each other with a mutual understanding between them: fight, or get skewered like kebabs.

Gwen nodded and raised her fists, her Spider Senses blaring loudly up and down her spine and racing up to the back of her head.

It was gonna be a tough fight down here in the limited space of the corridors in the underground, but it was going to have to be a fight nonetheless.

She took a deep breath and got to it, flipping, kicking, and using the bodies of the other henchmen for leverage, webbing up their weapons before they could even get to shooting them.

42 fought even more viciously, which was certainly a sight to see up close.

Gwen couldn’t really recall his fighting style since whenever they’d be on missions together before, they were often separated due to 42 often skulking off and doing his own thing regardless.

But apparently, he took no prisoners from what she was able to see.

In the chaos of the fight, she tried to still be mindful of his position and not accidentally whack him instead of their enemies, which meant she had to stop every so often to allow him to claw off a helmet or two.

He used his gauntlets liberally, but utilized his surroundings even more, even using an incapacitated henchman to knock over a couple of other ones like bowling pins. Every now and then, he needed to take the time to let his claws recharge, but that never interrupted his flow, which impressed Gwen more than she'd care to admit.

At one point, it seemed that they had most of the men handled, all but two completely incapacitated when the alarms stopped blaring all throughout the compound.

Gwen hesitated, straining to hear if any other possible goons were making their way over to their location, but 42 didn’t stop. He made quick work of knocking one man unconscious and then delivering the mother of all uppercuts to the last guy, finishing their fight.

He pointed up to a vent in the ceiling hidden between pipes and wires snaking all up and down the corridor and grabbed Gwen’s arm.

“There’s no time to waste. Let’s just go!” He growled, and she didn’t stop to argue.

With a mighty pull of her web, she freed the vent shaft opening and let the grate clatter onto the ground. She leaped up into it and promptly pulled 42 up in with her, webbing the grate back into its original position in order to conceal their last-minute escape route.

It seemed to work. At the very last hair-splitting second, several more heavy work boots stomped over to the mess, assessing if there were any dead bodies amongst the pile that the vigilantes left behind, quickly sweeping the area.

They went off to search in teams after their leader barked some more orders at them, and he also called the paramedics team onto the scene to remove all the injured parties from the premises.

The two teenagers were just about to start quietly removing themselves from the area, when a familiar voice calls out loudly to the leader.

“And what have we got here, gentlemen? Did you all let the girl escape?”

“Er, sir-- I mean Doctor… yes. When me and my men finally got here, the fight seemed to be over and the girl managed to get away…”

Gwen and 42 glanced at each other and then looked back down.

“Not a single one of you thick-headed fools managed to apprehend her?” The Doctor’s voice scoffed haughtily. “And why I keep you all on my payroll, I may never know…”

“I’m sorry, Doctor. We’re sealing the entrances and exits and setting up a tighter perimeter now. We won’t let her get away this time! Whole place is on lockdown now.”

Doc Ock finally came into the limited view of the two teens sat almost directly above him. He sniffed and surveyed the scene, stepping carefully over various different limbs all sprawled out in different directions, hands clasped behind his back as if he were surveying a shelf in a store.

He was a tall, reedy man, the complete opposite of Gwen's own version of Doc Ock, and definitely nothing like earth-1610’s female version of the villain. He had salt and pepper in his hair, a sharp goatee, and an even sharper suit on that reminded her a bit of Orlando Octavius…

And he looked every bit of evil that every Doctor Octopus has ever looked. Good to see that some things never change.

“What’s the status on the collider? Have we sealed off that area as well, or did you bumbling buffoons also let the girl destroy that, too?”

“It’s… uh,” the leader shifted nervously, clutching his gun. “There... there were explosives set off in the vicinity of the lab room. The collider’s status is still… unconfirmed…”

He trailed off slowly, eyes wide behind his helmet and mask.

Gwen almost felt bad for the guy. Almost.

The Doctor’s arms materialized and unfolded from a node on his back that seemed to almost blend in with his suit, snaking out from their resting place much in the same way that 42’s own mask and backpack technology seemed to work. All triangulated pieces of metal unfolding out from each other.

Gwen watched with rapt attention as those octopus arms hovered menacingly in the air, snapping their claws hungrily.

“Well then, you’d probably better make your way down there and confirm it, then, right?” The Doctor loomed over the poor henchman threateningly. “And you’d better pray that it’s all in one piece, if you want to live…”

“Y-yes sir,” the man gulped, backing up quickly to go and do just that.

The Doctor then turned to another cowering henchman who flinched when they made eye contact.

"And you," the villain says to him, "you go and search for that girl. She couldn't have gotten far, but we still don't know what we're dealing with yet. She's clearly... enhanced. Stay cautious, but shoot to kill."

Here, the Doctor cocks his head at the sight of claw marks left on one of his minions' faces. "... We're still not quite sure what we're dealing with here."

While the Doctor was tutting away disapprovingly at the way things turned out for his own personnel, 42 nudged Gwen on the shoulder silently and motioned for her to follow him. He tapped on his mask as a way of saying I know the way out, and turned around to sneak away from the area as quietly as possible.

After several minutes of crawling, they made it far enough out of possible earshot of anyone out on the hunt for them and so Gwen grabbed at 42’s leg to stop him. He sat on his heels and turned to look at her.

“They don’t know you’re in here with me!” Gwen whispered to him excitedly, peeling her mask off of her sweaty face. Her hair stuck to her forehead uncomfortably.

“Yeah, which would be a good thing… if I didn’t leave my bombs and claw marks everywhere back there. They… might still think it was all you, but we can't make decisions on assumptions like that right now.” Then, a small pause, and 42’s mask unfolded off of his own sweaty face too. “You, uh. You came back for me?”

“I saw the monitors in their security room, and you were on it. That’s why the alarms went off,” she breathed. "I think the security personnel went and got some food and then came back. That's how they saw you,"

“Damn. Of course… I thought they detected me going into the collider room, but… I shoulda guessed,” 42 shook his head disapprovingly.

Gwen placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Relax. I destroyed the main power supply for the security room and got you out of there alive, right? So we should still be good for now,”

42 gave her a lopsided grin. “Yeah, more like I saved your butt back there! That big dude in the lab could’ve turned you into mashed potatoes if I didn’t jump in.”

They chuckled quietly at each other and caught their breath.

“What a day, though, huh.” Gwen sighed, sagging against the vent wall and fanning herself with her mask. “Definitely didn’t think it’d end up this way.”

“Yeah, well. That’s vigilante work for ya,” 42 shrugged, disengaging his gauntlets and peeling off his gloves. “Just gotta roll with the punches.”

A few moments pass, and an irate Doctor Octopus shouts his way up and down corridors after receiving news of his beloved collider. Many work boots stomp along with him, communicators beeping and orders being shouted left and right. They come and go, never stopping their movements.

If only they had a single braincell to share between them, maybe they’d think to look into the vents for a bit, but Gwen was more than happy enough to let them take their sweet time figuring it out.

“You might be right… about the power sources here in this building, by the way,” Gwen comments, once the chaos dies down enough for them to whisper again comfortably. “My watch is busted, can’t even open a portal to let us out of here. And that fuse box in the security room… I’m not sure it was running on electricity, actually.”

“Gee, ya don’t say? Why is it that you never believe me when I tell you stuff? It’s seriously messing with me,” 42 scoffs.

Gwen groans. “Hey. Not this again! I’m on your side, remember? I just… I dunno. I guess I should trust you more, considering we’re trying to get out of this place together. But…” she sighs, running her gloved fingers through her sweaty hair.

42 peers at her out of the corner of his eyes. “But? What, I’m not trustworthy or something?”

“I’m Spiderwoman. I’m here on a mission… I usually have my head on my shoulders, for the most part. It’s just… ever since I landed here, it’s like there’s a fog hanging in my brain that won’t go away. I feel like I’m…”

“Not working to your full potential.” 42 finishes for her.

She looks up at him and then back down. “… Yeah. Yeah, that. Not fighting to my full potential. Not thinking to my full potential.”

"Don't say that," 42 mutters quietly, earning him another glance from his companion. "I mean... it was your idea to blow up the collider."

Gwen's own lips quirk a bit at that. "Was it?"

"Yep," 42 replies. "You got me thinking... maybe I am too up in my head about completing my mission. Maybe I can stop to ruin Doc Ock's day a little more while I'm here... right?"

"Ah," Gwen grins, "looks like I'm not the only one that's not thinking to their full potential!"

42 shrugs at that, unfolding his legs and leaning his head back on the wall behind him. “This dimension has ways of messing with your head, sometimes. It's not just you.”

“Being trapped in this place is also not helping at all,” Gwen points out, exhaling.

“Tell me about it. You think you’re out of your element? Imagine me. I kinda rely on this tech stuff to live, to fight.” He gestures to his gauntlets and mask. “Having so much of my gear go out of commission seriously sucks.”

Gwen jolted with a realization. “But you got it working, eventually! What was it that you did to your pack in the collider room earlier? Could you… could you do that with this watch?” She looked at him hopefully.

42 eyes the thing dubiously. “That’s a mini-collider on your wrist there. You saw what the Octopus was doing back in his lab, and even he wasn’t finished yet. We don’t have the facilities to fix that thing without potentially fucking up the space-time continuum... or worse. Unless you know what you’re doing?”

Gwen sighs again and leans back, studying the watch even closer.

“...No. I don’t,” she eventually answers. “Where’s Hobie Brown when you need him, am I right?”

42 exhales a laugh at that; internally, Gwen cheers.

“Yeah. Hobie ain’t around to save us. It’s just you and me.” Then, he gets serious, leaning forward. “Look. I’m not your Miles, y’know. We’re not BFFs like you two are. But we are allies and we need to get out of here alive right now. So…”

He sticks a hand out, sans gauntlet or glove. “Let’s just forget about all that stuff we said to each other earlier. Truce?” He asks, finally making eye contact with her.

Gwen takes it and shakes it, approving of his strong grip. It was getting pretty warm inside of these vents, and she was pretty sure he wanted to get the hell out of there too, so she nodded.

“Yeah. Truce.”

With their masks and gear back into place, they quickly and quietly traversed all up and down the winding vents, taking several turns and climbing up into certain spaces, avoiding large vent fans.

It seemed like they were crawling for hours before finally coming across yet another vent opening that looked down into a high-tech room.

This one looked like yet another lab in the endless maze that was this compound, all of them already starting to blur together in Gwen’s mind. So she was slightly confused when 42 stopped them both to peer down into it.

“What’s up?” She whispered, mindful of the personnel that still milled around right below them.

“This is it. This is where I’ve been needin’ to go.” 42 informs her.

“Wait… that wasn’t the collider room that you needed? What were you doing for so long in there, then?”

42 grunts and shakes his head. “I didn’t find the info I was looking for. But I did find more maps I could download in that side room. This is the real room we need.”

Gwen balked a bit and glanced down. “This place? What’s in here?”

“Security plans, drives, passcodes, hundreds of gigs worth of files and information. This is the payload,” 42 says hungrily.

Gwen sighs softly. “And you’re absolutely sure we need to hit this place up before escaping? For all we know, we could drop down and it might end up being a trap!”

42 glances down and cranes his neck to check the corners of the room as well before looking back up at Gwen.

“What’s the matter? Don't think you can handle another fight?” He challenges.

“I dunno about you, but I think we’ve been in here a little too long. Maybe we can hightail it out here now and live to tell the story, right? Just place a little tracking chip here and we’ll just be on our way!” Gwen seems uncharacteristically nervous.

42 shakes his head disappointingly. “Unbelievable. Why you chickening out all of a sudden?”

“I’m not! I’m just… I don’t want you to get hurt, okay? That Doc Ock looked… menacing. Like he might kill the both of us if he ever gets his hands-- er, tentacles-- on us.”

42 gives her a once-over. “He will. The Cartel never takes prisoners, not usually. But if we don’t do this today? Who knows how many other victims they’ll get their hands on if we don’t stop 'em?”

They lock eyes, lenses fixed on each other’s faces for a tense moment.

But shit, he was right. She couldn’t chicken out now, especially when this was earth-42’s Sinister Six they were talking about here.

After today’s events, who knew if anyone was ever going to be allowed back in ever again? By the time 42 and his uncle made it back here to this compound, it would probably already be shut down and scheduled for demolition, Doc Ock and his motley crew already long gone.

And with them, those hundreds of gigabytes of data that 42 mentioned as well...

It was true… Gwen had to back down and admit that 42 was right on the money on this one. It was probably going to be a hell of a fight if they were ever caught, but the lives of thousands of New Yorkers were on the line!

She would have to concede… even if it meant putting her only friend and ally in this entire dimension in danger.

He’s more than capable, Gwen’s conscience chimes in, and her memories flashed back to the millions of times she’s always underestimated her own Miles before, only to be proven wrong every single time.

… It was time to take the leap of faith yet again.

She sighed again. “Alright. But please do not get caught, okay? They don’t know you’re in here with me and I’d rather take the majority of the blame. Okay?”

42 gives a little shrug. “Anyone ever tell you that you worry too much? I got this. I always do. Just watch my six and be ready for anything. Cool?”

Gwen’s sure that he gives her a meaningful look behind his mask. She eventually relents and nods, placing her hands on the grates and taking a deep breath…

… Before giving it a mighty shove, and doing a handspring into the room.

The few armed guards sweeping through the room jumped in unison at the unexpected intrusion. With a few well-timed webs, she had them all glued to the floors and walls without a single shot ringing through the air.

Well, that was easier than she thought it would be!

Spotting a camera in the corner of the room, she quickly shot a web to cover it up and then webbed up the exits while she was at it, as well.

“Room’s clear,” Gwen announced to the air, prompting 42 to then quickly drop down from the vent opening and stalk over to the biggest computer monitors in the room. The computers were labeled with a very conspicuous figure 8 symbol most likely belonging to the man of the hour himself.

“I thought about what you said earlier, how they don’t know I’m in here with you,” 42 spoke as he reached behind him to detach a cord from his pack and plug it into one of the computers. “You’re right, and I think we should stick by that assumption, actually.”

Gwen nervously makes her way over to one of the exits, listening for any heavy work boots marching over to the very room they were in. ”Mmnyep! Yeah, I’m glad you said that! That means you’ll let me handle the fights from now on, right?”

“Whoa,” 42 tosses his head like a horse and glares at her for a moment. “Never said anything like that. I just mean, we might have a tactical advantage there. Right? Think about it,”

Gwen peered at the screen and gawked at the slowly loading download bar taking its sweet time copying files onto 42’s own drive. “Is that thing gonna, like… take a while, or?”

“What’s the matter? I told you to back me up, right? And you did just say you wanted to handle all the fights...”

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP

The vibrations of several pairs of work boots thrum through the walls and floors like a steady heartbeat, growing louder and louder as they get closer and closer.

“Miles!” Gwen groans. “Time is kind of ticking here, man! We don’t have forever!”

42 tosses her one last glance back over his shoulder and steps back to assess his options.

Number one, he could destroy everything in this room, it being the data center of the compound and all. It wouldn’t help the resistance much, but it would be a major setback to one of the richest and most powerful villains in New York City.

Number two, he could stay and fight, completely blowing his cover and possibly jeopardizing his mission to come in completely undetected and sneak out with his prize. His escape plan mostly relied on the element of surprise as well, but then at least he wouldn’t be leaving precious info-- or his new friend-- behind.

Sure, she could handle the fight, most likely… but if she was captured…

There was no telling what Doc Ock would do to her. No, he couldn’t let that happen. And he most definitely didn’t want the Octopus getting his slimy little tentacles on that portal watch Gwen was sporting, either.

Quickly taking his pack off, he left the wire connected and called to Gwen.

“Web this thing onto my pack. That way, we can escape with it on me and we won’t have to wait.” He instructed.

Gwen goggled at him like he just spoke Mandarin Chinese all of a sudden. “The computer? That thing? It’s huge, it’s heavy! It’ll weigh you down! Let’s web it up to me instead,”

42 grunted in frustration. “I need my backpack. It’s got all my other gear in it, and you’re the one who’s mostly gonna be fighting goons off of us while we make a break for it. I can handle this!”

The boots were now outside of the doors, banging on the metal and shaking the piles of webs used to fortify it.

“INTRUDER, WE KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” A booming voice bellowed out from behind one of the doors. “COME OUT NOW AND WE’LL SPARE YOUR LIFE!”

“Oh right, like that’s gonna happen,” Gwen scoffs sarcastically.

She then turns back to 42 and looks determinedly into his mask’s lenses. She exhales.

“Fine! Fine, but if it’s heavy and slowing you down, you’ve got to let me know. Deal?”

“Yes, let’s go!”

Gwen does as she’s told and attaches the big computer tower to 42’s backpack as quickly as possible, giving it a final shake to make sure they were firmly glued together.

She motioned for 42 to turn around and helped him slip the pack back on, now weighing at least a few pounds heavier. He bent down to unplug it from its monitor, and then they were ready.

While she got them both prepped, she noticed that her web shooters were running quite low on their web fluid supply already, much to her chagrin.

Either way, no time to worry about that now. She'd just have to use them sparingly from now on.

They faced the door side-by-side.

“Are you sure you want to stay? I can boost you up into the vents again!” Gwen implored, desperation evident in her body language.

42 got into his fighting stance, gauntlets up. “This is our fight. We’re still outnumbered right now, but if we work well together, we can do what we did before. And maybe we can finally beat Doc Ock, too.”

Well, Gwen had to hand it to the kid. He had that charming kind of stubbornness that endeared her to her own Miles, and he wore it well.

It seemed like that was yet another constant through time and space; in every universe Miles Morales is in, he was always going to be annoyingly stubborn. And annoyingly self-sacrificing, too.

She relented. Leap of faith, after all.

“If you’re sure… then stick by me, and we’ll do it,” Gwen reassured him, hoping her smile under her mask was readable in any way at all.

They exchanged glances one more time, and then braced themselves for the inevitable.

[suntoru]

─ ✰ 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ not taking requests rn, but rambles are more than welcome!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ no spam liking!! no bot behaviour, i don’t wanna get shadowbanned, n i will block u if u do this!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ do not ask to be mutuals. i prefer to make friendships more naturally!! however u can ask to be friends!! i luv friends ♡

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ be nice n respectful to everyone here! don’t be degrading to anyone unless ur friends n u do it jokingly n both sides r comfy.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ soft block to break mooties, hard block if you’ve made me uncomfy.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ i only post on tumblr. if u see anyone else with the same user, that’s not me!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ no copying, translating, or stealing any of my works on any platforms!!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ default pfps = auto block!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ NO NSFW. pls don’t talk smut on this blog (suggestive is ok!)

𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓:

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ minors under the age of 14, please don’t interact with me directly. however, you’re free to like my content!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ nsfw blogs

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ racists, pedophiles, anti-lgbtq+, minors writing/interacting w nsfw, are or interact with ed blogs, rtca, sexists, ableists, xenophobes, and other basic DNI criteria, gtfo n block me.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ if you have malicious intentions to me or anyone else associated with this blog.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ blank blogs!

𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖:

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ we use platonic petnames here! ie. my wife, darling, love, honey, cutie… if ur uncomfy, please dm me about it!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ vent tag: __ please block it if you are uncomfy with my vents that will come in the future!

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ please give this page a like so i know you’ve read this!!

[sakurachan7734]

They are Talking to themselfs now cause no one‘s home

One off story



This might be one of my really sad stories just so you know and the title is based off one of the lyrics to probably my favorite bad religion song, “two babies in the dark” 

Aristotle pov

I might as well be home alone at this point I mean I know father is down the basement working and he doesn’t want me bothering him but he never comes upstairs until dad gets home and dad comes home at about 12 normally he comes home at 10 but his drive for perfection blinds him sometimes and I just got out of rehab and my parents are letting me stay home a week so I can try getting better mentally but this is just making me want to use again it’s so goddamn lonely in this castle and I feel like I’m being dramatic because I know my father is home I know they love me but I feel like I can’t tell them I how I am mentally because they’re always busy and they don’t want me disturbing them my sister is still at school 

Aristotle: I guess I could just talk to myself for a while

Aristotles imaginary friend then appears in front of them Aristotle has not thought about this in a really long time so they forgot what they had created which was a vampire Jackalope named jasper

Jasper: it’s so good to see you again!

Aristotle: I don’t wanna play I just wanna talk.

Jasper: about what?

Aristotle: I just want someone to vent to 

Jasper: ok go on

Aristotle: I feel like I can’t tell anyone how I am feeling mentally because I will get called dramatic or pushed away because on the outside I have the perfect fucking life and every teen girls dream job but my job is telling me I can’t eat a certain amount of calories or I’m gonna be put on diet pills and I don’t want to get fired so I have to listen to them

Jasper: oh that’s bad Is your boss making you do that?

Aristotle: yes but I think he is retiring soon so hopefully my next boss won’t do this to me but it’s the modeling industry so that might happen again

Jasper: well why don’t you switch modeling buildings? One that won’t treat you the way they control how you eat

Aristotle: I can’t because it took me forever to get that job

Jasper: well why don’t you tell your parents?

Aristotle: well I might get punished away or they won’t believe me

Jasper: why don’t you tell your boyfriends?

Aristotle: well I don’t want to bother them with my problems because Jackson and Charlie don’t know how to handle human emotions

Jasper: so you feel like you have nobody to talk to?

Aristotle: kinda yea

Jasper: are your parents putting you for therapy?

Aristotle: yes but I feel like it’s not working I kind of wanna start using drugs again 

Jasper: you know that’s a terrible idea right?

Aristotle: I know but…. I feel like nothing else is working and I don’t wanna bother my parents by getting me a better therapist….

Jasper: how was your ballet instruction towards you?

Aristotle: she is a bit nicer to me but she’s the one who suggested I go on diet pills because and I quote “nobody wants to look at a fat freak of nature” i’m already super skinny I don’t know where she got that from

Jasper: you do ballet professionally?

Aristotle: yes well it started a hobby but then I got to a point where I turn it into a career 

Jasper: ok well how is the public treating you about being a child of a world famous celebrity?

Aristotle: I both hate it and love it I hate it because I’m constantly swarmed by paparazzi and other fans and I’ve gotten a few creepy ones that touched me everywhere and I have to put on a fake face for the media because if I yell at them to stop taking pictures I will be called the bad guy I feel like I’m being told how to feel how to act how to dress without directly being told and I feel like I’m just seen as public property to them instead of a person

Jasper: it sounds like you’re feeling like you can’t come out about your feelings because you’re under a bunch of pressure

Aristotle: yeah probably but like I said, I don’t know how to come out about it because I have a feeling I’ll be pushed away or just ignored….

Jasper: well…. Judging on The fact of whatever you just told me you might need to take another week off of school and you might need to call out of work for a little bit

Aristotle: I can’t my parents said I could stay out for about a week or two until I feel better but my work won’t let me stay out more than one week.

Jasper: will you could call in sick

Aristotle: I tried but they still said I can only be gone for one week

Jasper: well what is something that calms you down?

Aristotle: well alone quiet stroll on the beach or woods just by myself no music, no conversations no nothing….hmm you know what yeah I’m gonna go take a walk

Jasper: all right thanks for sharing

Jasper then disappears Aristotle leaves a note on the fridge saying “went for a walk I will be back in about two hours” 

Aristotle pov

This…..This is nice this may be what I need but not the same time because I’m complaining about feeling lonely but I’m doing stuff all by myself but I don’t wanna worry everybody with my problems because I don’t know how to handle them and I don’t want them to worry about me I feel almost pathetic for being like this, wanting people by me, but yet pushing them away at the same time maybe I should just convince my parents to let me see better therapist or get back to the drugs maybe both only time will tell.

End





[yaraaltrospace]

Top 10 Annoying Orange Videos

Some people don’t like Annoying Orange, but for those that do, I wanna make a top 10 of episodes. As far as I researched, besides the channel itself posting a top 10 of episodes based on views, I don’t think anyone actually posted a Top 10 of Orange episodes, and I honestly think it deserves it.

The show created by Dane Boedigheimer, which was intended to be a one episodes thing, grew up to become something beyong he or any of us could imagine. This show revolves, obviously, around the main character, its ways of annoying directly or indirectly other foods, objects and guest stars in the kitchen. Though sometimes a joke CAN be carried for far too long, there ARE some good episodes that show the potential of this webseries and I’d like to show you some of my favorites.

Now, there are various holiday themed episodes, like the Christmas and Halloween themed ones, and certain episodes from Shocktober and Ask Orange series, and of course MANY movie spoofs. These are not entering the list, sorry. I’ll be focusing on episodes that are not part of a series, are not technically spoofs, challenges, or asks to any character. Mostly pattern adventures in the kitchen, other locations and those I perosnally think that used the comedy better. 

NOPE, not using the first ever episode, it’s cheating!

10 - Close Encounters of the Annoying Kind

Yeah, despite the title it isn’t a spoof episode, but it does involve the main idea: Pear and Orange get abducted. By what? Greys? Xenomorphs? Predators? Nope, BROCCOLI! Alien Broccoli! And I’m really sure the short-lived Cartoon Netwrok show took notice of this episode and saw an opportunity there. Really, I do like most of the episodes in the show, so don’t you dare judging me.

Back to the episode, that’s basically it: Orange and Pear are in a spaceship, with alien broccoli planning to dissect them. I just question why Orange seems to LIKE Justin Bieber, but this episode IS from 2010, so it was before we knew who he really is. I also really like the Broccoli Leader voiced by Evan Ferrante aka NotTomCruise. This early episode has a simple premise, the jokes flow properly, it’s good. I really like it.

9 - The Amnesiac Orange

I was torn among this one and The Exploding Orange, but honestly, I think this one has a lot more funny potential. Basically Orange gets hit in the head by a canteloupe and forgets who he is. Then, an apple comes by and trick him into believing he’s an apple. That is brilliant, and a little mean. But then again, he IS an apple.

The casting is excellent, the memory loss scenario is used very well here, and for such a short story, we have quite a lot of laughs. I at least laughed very much at this one.

8 - ZOOM!!!

Another basic plot: Orange takes an energy drink. Just that has plenty of potential, like in the Family Guy episode New Kidney in Town’s beginning. The energy drink that gives the episode its name is voiced by Bobjenz, well known for the voice of Grapefruit. And it might be the pitch, which is actually something well handled by the webseries’ characters, but hearing Zoom’s voice and excitement at his first appearance brings a big smile to my face. 

Also, adding a bit of venting here, in early episodes, Pear’s a lot more patient with Orange. He’s annoyed like everyone, but he still handles it with patience Orange’s hyper boost. Later episodes show Pear as intelligent and often hysterical, and always trying to hard to be something he isn’t. Like, in his extreme challenge videos, he seems to care too much about what others think of him. This early episodes Pear has a good will, patience and doesn’t deny being Orange’s friend, even though he’s annoying. I miss this.

7 - The Fruitbowl!

Orange and Pear narrate to us a Superbowl game and Little Apple literally becomes a part of that game. In Brazil we have the World Cup transmissions, but boy, the Superbowl events sound and look awesome, from the games to the crowd and performances. Heck, Michael Jackson started this trend.

There are funny moments, great slapstick and everyone gets a moment to shine. Marshmallow’s cute show is short but any moment with them is so cute. Please don’t bring up the gender discussion, It was settled recently that they're non-binary. This is a very good episode in my book.

6 - Clam’s Casino

This particular one is among those I hit replay for. A clam and his associates bring up a Vegas-style casino to the kitchen and we watch the Kitchen Crew, as we expect, bet and lose all their money. It’s a cliché, but clichés work when they’re properly used. 

Brock Baker gave a great performance as Johnny Clam, and the jokes are well-written and portrayed. Certainly we’ll think twice before we gamble.

5 - Pickleback

I’m really confused about why people hate Nickelback. What happened? What did I miss? Anyway, this episode shows obviously a pickle version of the band brainwashing food to get pickled despite their song apparently being awful.

And Orange’s annoyance actually manage to save the day for once. This is quite refreshing and enjoyable to see: Orange helping his friends with what he can do. Another video on the replaying book.

4 - Fan Boy

At a certain point, we were and maybe still are all fanboys and fangirls, and when we get to meet our idols in person it’s like a dream come true. Imagine being a fan that’s a fan of the Annoying Orange? 

Fan Boy’s behavior sort of remind us all of how we feel in this sort of environment. He even quotes the fan joke from an episode and how vintage things are. This episode works with what it has very nicely.

3 - Limes

Brad freakin’ Paisley! Really, Brad Paisley comes to the kitchen as a lime to cheer Orange up with a song. Musical episodes are always good, and Brad is really talented. This one reminds me a bit of Excess Cabbage, de in facto first episode of Annoying Orange I watched. So I hold it really dearly to my heart and added it to the replay book.

The song, the environment, the optimistic message, it’s a gem. I so reccomend this episode and this song.

2 - Cookie-DOH!

Everyone in the kitchen hides for Dane’s cooking something and when the oven gets open, a piece of cookie dough voice by Alexa Losey can’t wait to get in, and explains how she wants people to eat her, and the scenarios she often thought about. 

I relate to her with having big expectations and feeling very upset when none of them come true, and reality is a b-word with us. It’s a feeling we all got to deal with and maybe still have to. I call this one a relatable character and this episode a great one on my list.

Before taking a stab at our number one here are some Honorable Mentions:

Best Fiends Forever

Grapefruit moves into the kitchen and Orange and everyone else can’t even. And also a different side of one of our favorite foods.

The Leprechaun Trap

A clever parody of advertising, as you probably seen in SNL multiple times, and on many Youtube viral videos.

Bacon Invaders

Just having Harley from Epic Meal Time means we’re off to a great episode!

Annoying Marshmallow

Unlike Annoying Pear, I really like Marshmallow doing Orange’s job, and actually making everything great and enjoyable for everyone. Really, Marshie, you are the best!

The Land Beyond the Kitchen

A train ride to the title’s world and the promise of the best adventures ever.

1 - Magnet Madness

This is another on my replay book. Orange and his friends are witnesses of a situation between the fridge’s magnets, two of them voiced by Ross Everett and Eric Scwartz, later the voice of the Gaming Grape. I love bullying-dealing episodes of any media, and this one has great comedy, born from the simplest parts.

Yeah, Orange and the others are mostly aside, but they still are a part of that whole thing. This is a very funny, very good written, very interesting Annoying Orange episode. It might not be for some people, but any episode that shows a great way to deal with a bully is a fine one for me.

Do you agree with the list? What is your favorite Annoying Orange video?

[withlove-kiddette]

This is not an entry or anything.

This is just me venting about some heavy topics related to a very specific sexual fantasy I have.

I suggest to skip this, I just want to dump it somewhere so I can’t feel it pressuring my skull whenever I’m hormonal and hella depressed. I wish this sort of topic wasn’t a taboo topic to talk about normally, because then I’ll have more opportunities of getting advice directly. But it’s too…uncomfortable for others and too shameful to talk about, so I’m here instead. I also don’t want to call the suicide hotline again…this is too personal to make a poor person on the other side hear me out.

In here at least whoever stumbles upon this has the decision to read or not.

Trigger Warning: Incest, emotional abuse, mommy issues, mentions of Ana and Mia, mentions of self harm, you get the deal.

I hate my mother, I hate the way she looks at me, I hate the way she sighs when she tells me she loves me, I hate how she asks me for hugs and kisses, I hate being dependent on her. I still love her, but I also hate that I love her.

I wish I could just hate her so I won’t feel that naive, childish, moronic hope that she would one day become a good Mom…

I hate how when she sometimes looks at me, her eyes look empty, and other times she looks at me like she is taking my clothes off with her eyes.

It fuels me with so much fucking disgust is enough to trigger my most primal instinct of fear.

It’s enough to trigger my want to self harm, is enough to want me to tear my skin apart out of sheer hopelessness. Its enough to make me want to be bulimic or anorexic just to express in an extreme way how I feel about her. Like I need to puke everything deep inside me out.

I wish I could have just stayed ignorant, I wish I could just have never had the knowledge and self awareness to notice something was wrong.

I wish I could back into believing we have a sweet and close relationship and not the psychological horror manga I feel like I’m trapped in.

I don’t think she is attracted to me, but I sure have questioned if she is in love with me. And I can’t talk to anyone about it.

I’m glad she isn’t hitting me or touching me. But I sometimes wish the marks she leaves would be way more than only mental ones, maybe that way people would understand better what she is doing to me.

She hasn’t touched me, but I still feel touched in some way.

I love women, but I’ve come to the conclusion I can’t be with another woman…because it would always feel like she is there, staring at me, staring at what I’m doing, staring with rage in her eyes because she isn’t the woman I love the most.

My paternal figures don’t make it any better.

It’s something I long for to. An actual good father that can take me away, protect me from her and not let her hurt me anymore.

I wanna be saved.

I feel so trapped it’s pathetic…I feel stupid for not being a ‘girl boss’ or being strong enough to leave.

I feel stupid for failing for her tricks whenever she holds herself hostage, but I’m scared, I love her and I don’t know what to do.

I want a man, a bit older than me. God even if they just wanted to adopt me and want nothing else I’ll be happier.

But my way of seeing relationships like these isn’t normal anymore.

If an older man treated me right, I know I’m stupid enough to fall in love.

I’ll long for him to have me in his arms and just let me fall apart when I need to.

Just be there, no need for words, just a nice, calming and loving presence.

Someone who could just love me, want me, desire me.

Someone I could give myself to.

Someone who could claim me away from her.

Someone that just makes love to me, fucks me, dominates me and makes my brain melt and forget everything that hurts so much about being alive right now.

Someone who makes me feel like such a precious possession of them that even if something makes me go back to her.

That even something were to separate us, I could still have enough love for them in my heart to feel more at ease. Knowing that I don’t belong to her, she’ll never be able to claim me the same way the man I love could.

That every time she says ‘I love you’ I can just genuinely smile because I did it in a way, I escaped her grasp in some way, I don’t belong to her. And she’ll never know about it.

I’ll belong to myself, by choosing to give myself and belong to someone else. Someone who actually deserves me and loves me the same way I’ll do to them. I hope that day comes one day.

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

If this is not too personal, how does your family/siblings etc. react to you being a lesbian? Because I was just having fun with my siblings and my brother joked about beating up my boyfriend if I have one and when I slightly hinted that my ‘boyfriend’ could be a girlfriend he said he’d still beat her up and deadass said ‘don’t dirty this family’ as in ‘don’t fucking pull this family into dirt by being into women and giving us a horrible reputation for having a lesbian daughter/sister’… I’m straight up hurt and furious and feeling like weeping now cause even though I could have guessed my brother is homophobic I didn’t expect him to be like that. My brother believes that siblings should stick together but that apparently doesn’t count if I’m not into men. I’m from a Turkish family too and being homosexual in a Turkish family straight up means that you might as well not be a part of this family at all. Turkish people are rather conservative and still thinking in an old way which is frustrating. :( Especially because it’s Muslim households too, and yk Islam and homosexuality does not go well..

I’m very sorry if you don’t accept vents etc. I was just curious about if your family is or thinks like that too or if you had the same experience? Feel free to delete this if this might be triggering or if my question was too personal etc.

I'm very sorry that happened to you. I wish I had advice, but I don't. All I can say is that there are people out there who will love and support you. I hope you can find them.

My family is democratic but I did worry that I'd be met with homophobia (and I was) when I came out. My father was a deeply Christian man. He straight up claimed to get visions from God. He never directly said anything homophobic. The one thing I can remember is being in a shoe store when I was little and asking my father why pink shoes were in the men's section. He made a sort of disgusted face and said it was for men on the "wise side". Why did he use that phrase as a stand in for being gay? I don't know, but I do think it's kind of funny. Apparently gay men are wise!!

Anyway, as you can imagine, I was not particularly stoked to come out to him.

My mother was worse and better. She was not as religious as my father. She had gay friends. She loved Ellen Degeneres. I never heard her say anything homophobic growing up. However, she was worse because she's abusive 💀 When I was a child, I wondered why my father would be with her when she was so fucking mean and awful. I wanted nothing to do with her. I wouldn't leave my room if she was hanging about. Just generally a really awful mom. I had no strong feelings about coming out to her. I didn't think she was homophobic but I didn't wanna tell her things in general.

Like most gay kids, my parents knew before I told them. When I officially told my dad, he didn't care. Didn't say anything about it. He wasn't homophobic towards me or anything.

Honestly, I'm just now realizing how funny it is that my deeply religious father had no qualms about me being gay but my mom did 😭.

My mom wasn't like. Violently homophobic when I came out. Just casually so. She was all like "so you like to dress like a boy??" in a really unpleasant tone of voice. And she asked me to "keep an open mind" and constantly accuses me of actually being bisexual. She says that I "think" I'm gay. It's just very casual homophobia on her part. She clearly doesn't like the fact that I'm only interested in women even though she claims to love me and accept me no matter what. It's very clear that seeing me with a man would make her happy.

Idk. My coming out wasn't awful. My brother is bisexual. I don't have a relationship with anyone else in my family tbh. So, yea, that's my story. Also, I accept all types of asks. My inbox is always open.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Anon that said sorry for the long post here hi 👋

Thank you for the long answer admin. I totally understand where you are coming from and DA is not something to joke about or make assumptions on bc the butterfly effect on the internet is a very real thing - like you said.

I just got reminded of something personal, so gather round, storytime! (For anyone that cares lol)

An ex bf that I loved (and still do) and loved me back (and still does) very much was very much like Evan in social situations where loads of people / cameras / shitshow shabang was going on. I was reminded of him so much today, seeing Evan's mannerisms. I am a very social and outgoing person and I used to have too many events and gathering per month (mostly bc of my job at the time, but also a huge circle that always had bdays coming up etc) and I always had a +1 , and I always asked him to join me or a friend - if they wanted to. I never pressured him or forced him anywhere I am always fine by myself, I was in a loving relationship and I knew that so I didn't care if the answer was no. But he almost always wanted to join me, support me and show me that he cared, do eventually, most of the time, he did join me and guess what. He did got stressed he did look miserable in photos and videos, he did seem pissed at everyone or random people that were trying to introduce themselves to them, but he was also trying his best to stay polite, for me. If you look at these photos I'm always smiling or chatting enthusiastically with smn (Natalie reminds me so much of me in these photos lol) and my ex looked so outta place lol. In all honesty, it did make me a bit sad. Or too sad, sometimes. I always had him on my mind or didn't wanna lose him from my sight anywhere we went, I was worried that he might be bored or that he wanna get home soon, so sometimes I didn't even enjoy myself - I don't wanna blame him directly, I will feel awful if I do, but you know. I didn't want him to join me if he wasn't gonna have a blast eventually, but he insisted so what could I do? Anyway, that's it. I don't wanna insinuate its the same type of situation here of course, I just wanna vent because I got reminded of sad times with the content (or the commentary) today. Thank you for reading this, whomever ❣️

Admin, you have my heart, always 💕

💗 thank you so much anon. this story is actually very relevant, because it shows the dynamic that can exist in a relationship or friendship where you have one person who is more introverted in certain social situations, and another who may thrive in them. it’s not to say anything about the quality of the relationship, just that in any healthy one, we all make sacrifices and step out of our comfort zone for the people we love. still, those differences can cause the person “asking” their loved one to step out to feel guilty or worried on their behalf. and we all have to find the right balance .

a good example of this is actually also evan himself in the past. compare how he looked at events he attended solo to ones where he had a date. even when he’s taken his sister, you can see he is seemingly most comfortable when he has someone with him for red carpets and award shows. so long as they stay together, nat will be that person for evan. she’s new to “this” too, but you can tell she’s used to networking/working the room and she will be able to act as support - as any good partner would.

i am also a naturally introverted person, a downright loner, but people who know me professionally find that preposterous whenever i say it. i am in a career where i talk to people constantly, attend events frequently, i sometimes literally lose my voice from speaking so much 🤷🏻‍♀️ and i generally hate going to parties or places i don’t know anyone. it’s just not comfortable for me. i’m a person who enjoys going on 3 hour walks with my earbuds in to replenish myself.

[shot-by-cupid]

New year new promo baby

♡I’m Staci (19, she/her) and this is my self ship blog - interacts from @cupids-bow-and-arrow and follows from my personal blog (I don’t feel comfortable giving out the @)

♡ I’ve been selfshipping since I was 6, I joined the community in 2019 on a blog under the same name that’s now deleted, and I selfship mainly for fun and a bit for comfort!

♡ I’m a big fan of things like video games, anime and manga as well as all kinds of other Tv shows and movies (my favourites are comedies and horror/slasher). I also love to draw, write and make edits for my self ships which is what you’ll mainly see on my blog

♡ I’m a bit of a f/o hoarder- I tend to fall for characters very easily and because of this I have a verrrrry long list. Unfortunately I haven’t written it down, I’m personally pretty comfortable with sharing- so I’m fine with being moots even if we have a couple the same, however for my own personal comfort please don’t tag me in ship art or gush to me directly!

♡ my tagging system is a bit confusing, so I’ve outlined them here to help you navigate;

[♡.ink] for drawings that I’ve done, [♡.page] is for comics [♡.written in the stars] is my writing tag and [♡.on film] is for edits

[♡.txt] for my personal thoughts, [♡.message from beyond] general reblogs, mostly imagines and things like that

[♡.after hours] is my Nsfw/suggestive tag, [♡.bullet proof heart] is my vent tag, I don’t post in either of these very often and none of the content will be too explicit, but I ask that if your a minor/or you don’t wanna see this kind of content please block these tags!

[♡.love letters] is my gush tag, and [♡.mail box] is for general asks!

all f/os will be tagged with their names and what they are to me (romantic, platonic, familiar, etc)

♡ Lastly I’ll do my best to tag anything you need me to, this includes ships, triggers, fandoms etc. however I’m not always the best at remembering so please let me know if I ever forget or if you need a tag for something!

♡ I am generally okay with anyone and everyone interacting as long as you aren’t pro/comp ship/MAP/Zoo or anything like that. This includes ppl if who ship with real people or age up underage characters to ship with or age down your s/i

Also if you’re heavy on discourse- other than that we should get along :0

[1bringthesun]

it was @rivensdefenseattorney who made the mistake of asking to see any of them, for now i will toss brevity for the side and state my loud opinions! naturally, all applicable questions will be answered about bsd.

1. Mori Ougai, hands down. first there are those who believe he’s a man who lusts for the feeling of having power over others, then those who turn him into a saint who only wishes what’s best for everyone else. people simply can’t admit that he’s morally grey; a good bad character. but in this fandom, honestly, everyone is sorely mischaracterized. Ranpo, Poe, Dazai, and Akutagawa are probably up there as well.

2. Odasaku just wouldn’t be a good top because he’s that sort of guy who always assumes he’s doing something wrong. he’d ask every five seconds if his partner felt ok to the point of which they’d just go “get your ass on the bottom Odasaku, it’ll be better for both of us” and he, being the type of person he is, would do it no questions asked. plus, i think he looks cuter when he’s following instructions, but that may just be me…

3. my phone unfortunately doesn’t have enough storage to take any photos. also there are so many bad ones i wouldn’t be able to choose.

4. (this has nothing to do with bsd, but) when she blamed me for not reaching out first after telling me she wished i’d never been born and said she was leaving me forever, i was like: “okay if that’s how you wanna play it” [blocked]

5. umm…. i’m not in many big servers. i’ve always hated those egirl/edating ones though, where nobody knows each other.

6. burn me at the stake for this if you so please, but i simply cannot tolerate most soukoku fans. some are good. some are great! most are short-sighted children who can’t form opinions apart from the mass’ and harass people for not thinking the same way as them.

7. Chuuya. still recovering from his fandom portrayals. i’ll get to liking him eventually, but they make it hard…

8. that Dazai would ever vent to someone else. i don’t care if you portray him as completely dysfunctional or not, but Dazai is the type of person who always hides his true intentions until someone directly asks him or the situation calls for him to reveal it (Higuchi targeting Atsushi, Azure Apostle event, etc.). he would be the last man to ever give anyone else he knew his own emotional baggage, especially when it reveals his intentions and vulnerabilities. the only time he ever visibly looked distressed in canon was when Odasaku died. you’re telling me this same man cries in Chuuya’s arms and tattles to his shachou that Mori sucks?

9. i don’t like some of the simpler tropes, like the idea of atsukyou or Higuchi’s idolization of her senpai, but i tend to like most of canon.

10. how bigoted so many of the fans are. so many of them won’t even hear out alternative opinions…

11. ah, i actually don’t know how to filter things! but if i did, i’d probably filter pro-shipper/anti arguments. not looking for internet discourse about that sort of stuff; i prefer to just mind my own business

12. Odasaku is my first thought because i like him the most, but he’s actually pretty well-received. so instead i propose that Kajii, Ace, and Kyougoku should be given more attention. Kajii because he’s incredibly nihilistic, almost like fanon Dazai, and says the oddest things. Ace because i love when characters are paranoid and selfish, and he’s incredibly paranoid and selfish (also he said Fyodor would look good in a collar which i vehemently second.). Kyougoku is so charming, he’s like if Dazai decided to be a little evil and liked attention more. beloved, all of them.

13. people who woobify Mori make my skin crawl. he deserves to feel as much pain as my other blorbos but for the love of god stop making him seem like an innocent person when his character is fun specifically because he isn’t.

14. Fukuzawa being a dad to Ranpo. it���s very commonly something minor that’s included in fics. i see it a lot.

15. that kanji-writing blank page background that the bsd anime used in the beginning to introduce characters and whatnot. i really like how some artists include it in their work

16. i really don’t understand what fascination people have with making PM members spit on the name of Mori and join the ADA. Chuuya is interesting to me because he’s carved out a home for himself in the PM, and he’d lose his appeal if he turned his back on all of his comrades to “join the side of the light.” same goes for Akutagawa. in canon as it stands, he doesn’t have what it takes to be a good detective. i don’t enjoy how many people associate ADA with good yay happy morally white when even the canon clearly states that they’re not. Fukuzawa told Kunikida to shoot Dazai if he seemed ill-meaning during his entrench exam. that same man wouldn’t accept mafia members instantly at the batt of an eyelash. also, without the execs, the tripartite framework falls apart and leaves Yokohama vulnerable to attack. the mafia needs power in order for the city to stay safe.

17. where they put characters in immensely uncomfortable and revealing situations and cause them extreme amounts of mental stress. i love it. it’s horrible.

18. Kouyou!!!! she’s always portrayed as just Chuuya’s anesan or that pretty mafia woman Yosano has a crush on. i wish people would develop her character for who she actually is more. she’s like if Kyouka’s story stopped being told, like if Yosano never met Ranpo, or like if Odasaku stayed an assassin. like if someone embraced their dismal fate. so interesting. Kouyou-anesan is so cool.

19. …………………the Kajii and Yosano ship.. i can’t believe i fell for the classic enemies to lovers trope………..i just do love a boyfailure and the woman who beats sense into him….

20. didn’t really enjoy the PM arc in the way beginning. didn’t like the beginning of cannibalism, either, when everyone was just hiding from each other. (when i say i didn’t like it, i mean comparatively. i loved it very much by normal standards)

21. soukoku lap scene in dead apple…

22. Fitzgerald’s return arc. it was written so beautifully, and the way Alcott managed to inspire him really captured my heart. he’s so charismatic that i can feel myself drawn to him even though he’s just in my screen. his confidence is infectious. i understand why his subordinates can act so proud.

23. fyolai. i used to hate it. now i don’t mind it, but i still can’t see it as endgame.

24. Mori: enough said.

25. that Asagiri shouldn’t have made the Tanizaki siblings act the way they did. it’s not like he came up with the idea all by himself; Naomi comes from “A Fool’s Love” wherein Naomi and Jojii really do act that way. it’s much ickier in the novel, to be honest, and Naomi in BSD is so much more likable. i’m glad she was added in. it adds depth to Tanizaki’s character. she’s also a delight.

hope you enjoyed~ do feel free to give your own opinions or argue with me. i’m always interested in broadening my horizons.

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥

the character everyone gets wrong

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

worst discord server and why

which ship fans are the most annoying?

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

worst part of canon

worst part of fanon

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

worst blorboficiation

that one thing you see in fics all the time

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

there should be more of this type of fic/art

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

part of canon you found tedious or boring

part of canon you think is overhyped

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

ship you've unwillingly come around to

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

[black-cat-2]

Alright, so short venting real quick cause I need to let off some steam but don’t wanna bother anyone directly with my minor problems-

So, my mum and I park our cars next to each other. Like this basically:

And for the last year neither of us complained about who stands in which spot. And now, out of nowhere, she suggested we could switch cause she drives more often than I do and therefore it’d be better for her to get out. What she forgot (or simply ignored) though, is the fact that my car is longer than hers and has a bigger turning circle so I’ll have more trouble shimmying out than she had, especially due to the fence.

And now, given that I try to get rid of my people pleaser tendencies ever since I moved into my own apartment, I’m not sure who I’m mad at the most: my mum for suggesting it without giving a damn about my future struggles or me for giving in.

Anyway, have a nice day <3

[siliconcat]

My switch fan just broke and it overheated and shut off🧍