#and doesnt understand how other adults can be like that esp to kids
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moeblob · 1 year ago
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Follow up to this because let's be real. The Nohrians casually dismissing their really messed up childhoods would distress Saizo (as seen in his I think B support with Azura).
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rainbowpiss34 · 6 months ago
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Why I think Melvin Sneedly could have NPD. (Narcissistic personality disorder)
(also excuse the spelling mistakes 🥲)
For starters, in the books and show, Melvin has an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement, he longs for admiration, he expects special treatment, he exaggerates (well I wouldn’t call it exaggerating because they are genuinly impresssive esp for a child 😭) his achievements and talents, he reacts negatively to criticism, he’s had multiple fantasies of having power, success, and beauty (big muscles/handsome), he takes advantage of others, he finds it difficult to empathize with other people who arent himself/has low empathy, he often behaves in an arrogant manner that can make others dislike him.
And while I would just chalk this off to him being a kid and that he could potentially grow out of these symtoms as an adult, it is clear that Melvinborg also has these symptoms. Melvinborg only cares abour himself and his past self, he comes back to the past with the Time Toad 2000 so he can make sure his past self goes to his dream school, becomes the principal/loves the power, and then makes the entire school Melvin-themed, covering the walls wifh phtoos of himself, made a robot song with him, made the lessons only towards helping Melvin, made the food what Melvin likes to eat, etc.
Melvin often finds it hard to understand other people’s pain if they don’t affect him, when the spanish teacher was crying all he cared about was the fact that he wouldn’t be able to learn another language which is required for his dream school. He longs to go to a dream school so he can be with people he sees as worthy of being with him/(since everyine in his school isnt as smart as him). He sees the level of education at his current school beneath his level/he sees himself deserving more (which is true tbh ).
In the books he likes the idea of there being a national day just for him, and likes the idea of other people fangirling/admiring him, of George and Harold (his perceived rivals) being beneath his feet/being his slaves. He sees them as beneath him because he’s smarter than them.
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He takes advantage of other ppl and of George and Harold multiple times for different reasons, and he breaks promises many times/backstabs them without carrying about their feelings. But when George betrayed him back in the camp episodes when he reveals to Harold he’s not actually friends with him, he feels very betrayed and upset, and it shows how he can be hypocritical and sometimes forget that other people can also feel the same things he does.
With the whole thing with Erica, i feel like he may genuinly believe he’s inlove/has a crush on her, but its more of an infatuation/perceived crush because he likes how she looks and acts. Some people with npd may have a hard time accepting other people’s “flaws”, like how when Melvin dreams about Erica, he dreams of her fawning over him/(like the time he dreamed where he was saving her from aliens in space and she was admiring him) this is very out of character for Erica and it is clear Melvin doesnt like Erica for who she truly is. He may see the fact that she doesnt even like him as a perceived “flaw” rhat can be overlooked.
I beleive that Melvin is specifically a cerebral narcissist, they derive their self-importance from their intellect, believing they’re smarter than everyone else. I also think that with help, understanding and therapy, Melvin could learn to be more understanding towards how other people feel and to be more kind just for the sake of being kind. i do not think him having npd means that he’s just doomed to be an asshole forever. I like how in the show there are moments where Melvin can genuinely be sensitive and/or something good.
Its also really good to see how he chose for himself that he would save George and Harold instead of letting Melvinborg kill them, he chose other people (esp ppl he sees as his rivals) over his literal future self, and I think thats a good first step for someone who has a hard fime doing stuff for other ppl/usually onky thinks of himself.
Idk 😭 or maybe im just looking to deep into a literal fictional 10 year old boy idk guys 😅😅😅
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I love him sm jfjkfkekfkdllfmgnrhf fkfkkgkfkghiosod
Let me know what you think! Also I do not have npd myself so if you do please tell me if im incorrect about somerhing! I tried to research but a lot of research out there about npd specifically tends to be very biased/kinda just bad so pls lmk!
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hadescabin · 1 year ago
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TW// GROOMING, MANIPULATION breaking down tigerheartstar and dovewing and why i think its awful ik I said that I dont really like warrior cats anymore but recently i've been thinking about some stuff regarding the series and its fandom and there's one thing that's been particularly bothering me. dovewing and tigerheart. it's just crazy to see the shift of support for tigerdove considering early 2010s warriors fandom seemed mixed on them. now there seems to be this equivocal support for them, probably because most of the fandom's exposure to the couple has been the recent books which frames them as man who loves his wife x burnt out prophecy kid who will do anything for her malewife. which theres nothing wrong with that dynamic, i think it's cute, but people really seem to forget about how tigerheart straight up groomed and treated dovewing awfully throughout oots and even in tigerheart's shadow. it seems to be a forgotten fact that tigerheart was a full grown warrior by the time he was pursuing dovepaw, who was a newly made apprentice. for perspective, this was a 6-7 moon teenager with someone almost the age of her mentor (a little younger). people try to use the excuse "oh but they're cats" and "the age gap isnt that bad" but even the recent books acknowledge with frostpaw and splashtail, that a warrior and apprentice dating is WEIRD. tbf oots was released in the early 2000s, but the fact that canonically speaking the age gap is seen as a teenager and adult relationship gives me the ick. it really puzzles me to see people get on ships like dustfern and bramblesquirrel (both of which i hate btw) for their age gaps but come up with every excuse in the books to defend tigerdove. its not even just the age gap too, again, their relationship has consisted of tigerheart manipulating and grooming dovepaw to do what he wants. in the first two books (esp the second book of oots) dovepaw is presented as someone who got attached to the cats from the journey and doesnt necessarily understand why they must act like they shouldnt exist anymore due to the borders. this is something that tigerheart LEARNS and actively takes advantage of when dovepaw questions why hes at their borders (tldr its dark forest stuff). he shifts the topic and then goes on about the journey and how he felt that they almost became friends, and that if they were in the same clan things would be easier. this may not seem like a big deal, but this goes on for the rest of their interactions whenever tiger needs to pressure her to do something she doesnt want (meeting up, trusting him, etc.) He realizes that the subject of different borders resonates with her and uses it to his advantage whenever he wants something out of her. This can especially be seen in the next book, “Night Whispers”, which kickstarted their relationship. Dovepaw accidentally ran into ShadowClan territory while hunting, and Tigerheart happens to find her there. Once again, he gives her a speech about borders being meaningless, before asking her to meet up with him before the ShadowClan patrol catches them. There’s also other examples in later books where he coerces her into meeting up or trusting him since “that’s what friends are for” or even later in that book, where he manipulates her into using Ivypaw as a captive for herbs. 
When you take this into account, plus him as a full grown warrior, starting a romantic relationship with a barely apprenticed Dovepaw who is shown as having a childish/ immature perception on romance/mates (such as her argument with Ivypaw and claiming that she should “find her own mate”), Tigerdove feels very much like grooming to me. According to the dictionary definition grooming is, “the action of attempting to form a relationship with a child or young person, with the intention of sexually assaulting them”. Of course, in this case, since it’s a young adult book, it’s to form a romantic relationship, which could also be another goal of grooming. Groomers tend to display manipulative behaviors towards the victims in order to coerce them into trusting them more. Whether that be through compliments, gifts, trying to resonate with them or make them feel special. They tend to try to get them to keep and “share” secrets, which is another tactic they utilize both to isolate the victim and to get them to feel more comfortable. 
A lot of behaviors that Tigerheart displays towards Dovepaw falls under this, including the examples I mentioned. There are a couple of other comments that he makes which come off as creepy such as Dovepaw “being his favorite sister”, which as I established, is something a groomer would say in order to make the victim feel as though they’re special and garner their trust. Which is especially the case when you note that he makes that comment in reference to Dovepaw asking about his ties to Ivypaw, which he actively lies about, and quickly reassures her that there’s nothing going on. 
This tactic of manipulation, where he either makes her feel special, or even love bombs and dissuade her from standing up for herself, doesn’t stop when she’s an apprentice. It continues when she’s a warrior, and is constantly used throughout OOTS and “Tigerheart’s Shadow”. At one point in the series, Dovewing and Tigerheart get into an argument about Dawnpelt wrongfully accusing Jayfeather of murder. When Tigerheart defends his sister, Dovewing stands up for Jayfeather, which prompts Tigerheart to try and manipulate her out of the conversation. He jumps straight to talking about how much he loved and missed her, and guilts her by asking why they had to argue like this, and why they couldn’t just “meet like before”. As for Tigerheart's Shadow, he actively goes against what she wants (to raise her kits outside the clan) and actively pressures and guilts her into coming back, before she finally relents. He doesn't care about what SHE wants, it's always about him. Whether it be secretly meeting up, or in The Last Hope, he tries to pressure her to date him again (which she FINALLY refuses and scolds him for thinking about his own needs when they're right before a final battle. as she should). It's especially upsetting in the newest book that tigerheart seems to be the only think at the center of her character. when she argues with ivypool, it's less about the two sister's interpersonal conflicts and more about her and tigerheart's relationship. which...feels like a lot of missed potential to me? i want them to argue, i want dovewing to stand up to herself against ivypool, but why does the entire conflict have to revolve around him? why can't dovewing have her own thoughts and feelings without it tying back to her awful husband?
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bulbabutt · 3 months ago
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yooooooo all i do lately is vent vent vent uhhh
itsssss really annoying to feel traumatized over shit that doesnt actually matter at all but you cant feel like a person who functions cuz of it
like. mkay, few years ago i did a stupid thing which was uh. pre coming out but post taking testosterone tell this girl ('girl' she was older than me, im an adult but sos she) i that i was trans. then that i had a crush on her. like a fucking idiot, i was like 'girl pretty girl nice maybe i can finally have something'
and the thing was like. we had this lax fucking job that didnt matter, we were both basically running this shitty lil store nobody came in for the christmas season. and like i had admitted id never done anything, but i should have noticed it was gonna be weird quicker, cuz while she was understanding of like 'ok yeah youre a dude i get that' it was. hmm. it wasnt really like she felt like that, and she didnt notice so much that shit she would say hurt my feelings. like this was so unserious honestly, but uh the thing abt taking t in your mid 20s is youre like... right im... im going through a literal puberty and being stupid as a teenager. im bad with expressing my feelings normally cuz of that.
anyway. it was a fling really. it was stupid and shouldnt have happened, and it probably hurt me more than i thought, but she got like... jealous of one of the employees who id known from a prev job... who to me was like. literally a child (cuz like, id known her since she was) and that made me feel so weird, cuz i was like ?? why the hell would i be thinking about her like that i havent done ANYTHING that would make you think that. and hello i only said i liked you ? but then i guess the age gap was the same in her eyes and so that might have been why she thought that. but like pfft if youre ~25 dating a ~30 yr old its whatever thats normal. going the other way gets weirder ESP if uh. HELLO i was this kids boss?? that was so weird that she felt like that. i guess cuz i was just better at getting along w people younger than me, as someone who isnt a TRUE millennial, someone whos pop culture references lean gen z or whatever. idk i just know kids like my vibe for some reason. there was NEVER anything else going on i was just... being chill? but that was enough to cause jealousy.
but like yeah theres only so many 3 weeks in 'i dont think this is a good idea i think im bad for you' texts you can get before you just go 'yeah you know what i dont wanna do this anymore actually thats fine no hard feelings'
but i tend to be a person who just cant socialize with people for long periods of time, i ghost people a lot, i dont have a history of having friends i dont know how to maintain relationships, but also i really didnt want to at this point. i felt really gross about it and embarrassed for putting myself out there and admitting a secret about myself.
anyway next year rolls around and i see her at the next job season and she tells me she and another coworker found my tiktok page (cuz shit forcibly adding your contacts IS THE DEVIL) and uh. she had to explain to said coworker that i was trans. which. felt like shit. obviously. i was still not out.
anyway THAT person was a piece of shit who talked down to me and acted like i was terrible at my job and brought aLL the personal shit up as if i had ever trusted HER with any of it. like using my new chosen name in texts and shit to call me out for nothing. i had to give her a fucking 'excuse me, you dont get to call me that i never fucking told you that and its WEIRD that you think you get to call me that just cuz you invaded my privacy.'
she literally told both my bosses about all my private shit with this girl. like all that stupid bullshit about how we had dated and it didnt go well, she spread my private shit. and like... it all... ugh. like i got told by said bosses 'hey. none of what she said is important at all dont even worry about it.' and i really appreciated that. but that year was so bad for me, i felt like i was being watched like everything i did was being misconstrued. everything blew up so fast if there was something sma,, and it was 100% that person making it worse.
next year i just came out finally just was like. yeah alright. got a beard now, had my tits removed, might as well. and everyone was chill. personal beef spreading bitch didnt come back (the bosses were glad of that) shit was chill. was on friendly terms with "ex" being normal, never had any beef that year. was very much a 'the beef we had the previous year was this bitch egging her on'. i was partially running store. everything was fine i thought.
next year. as it turns out? was not asked to help run store that year. was very confused, there was a slot to fill that no one else could and i wasnt asked to do it. instead they had this absolute bigot who made everyone and i mean EVERYONE who worked there so uncomfortable, abusive language bigoted talk, wouldnt let people leave if they were sick ass piece of shit.. yeah he got the job. and everyone complained, but hes friends with the boss so whatever.
anyway reached my wits end. quit mid season. was fine, i was moving anyway, it was whatever.
you know why i wasnt asked to have that job? cuz the ex. for some reason without thinking, said 'yeah ill come back but i dont want him to be in charge after last year'. and she... never told me there was any problem. and that hurt me so bad. like talking to other people who were there, it all seemed like... okay, i was good at my job and would just.. act like a boss and not a friend sometimes. like be the guy going 'hey can you like. go do __ i need to count the till i dont have time to hear your funny joke rn'. and she took it personally. like its fine if youre sensitive to stuff, but i was under so much stress a lot and i dont always handle it well.
and that beef she had that she didnt tell me about turned into me losing a job, losing my sanity, feeling utterly betrayed and forcing everyone else who worked there to deal with the biggest pos as a boss with no repercussions. i heard from people post quitting i was being talked shit about by my prev bosses TO the employees. for the crime of... complaining about a bigot. who was misgendering me, being racist to other employees, making the teens feel unsafe to be around. like this was a SCREAMING old man kind of shit.
and all because the ex, initially, made a comment about not wanting me to be in charge. and i just... i really dont even know what i did. it was so underhanded. and when i asked her about it, she just said 'no i didnt say i WOULDNT work under you i just said i HOPED you wouldnt be in charge, and weeks later i asked why you werent in charge' but like??? no. you literally said something that cost me a job. you did. theres no taking that back, you didnt tell me any beef you had with me, you clearly equated job stress with personal stress. you cost me a job! YOU did that you set off a chain of events! and like i cant even begin to explain how much i helped her with shit at jobs. like i kind of took all the responsibility but we were both being paid the same. i would get called every day by her being confused by things while i was at home and help walk her through shit. it was fine, i was stressed but i was fine i never held it against her!
and she like. blew up that entire shit. that whole job i loved got blown up cuz i thought i trusted a person. like was it entirely her fault? obviously not. but that kind of shit.. it just hurt. the idea that i trusted her with my own shit years ago, then time and time again that blew up in my face until i just cant look back at any of it happily anymore makes me so upset. 8 years of a job i loved w a friend, and it all got ruined cuz i said 'hey by the way, im trans' and that spiralled into something stupid.
and i havent had a job since for SOOOOOOME REASON..... i sit at home doing fuck all cuz i cant stand the idea of being around anybody again. i dont trust anybody. i dont feel safe talking to people, being in public, having a job... its so stupid and i hate everything.
also the whole. got clocked and almost punched had my 6 ft brother not been standing near me at the time thing. so now i am uh. just completely agoraphobic.
anyway. sorry i am just in a bad place lately.
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catboy-changeling · 4 years ago
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I'm just bitching about the dee eye dee community because people are obnoxious, can't do research, can't show compassion to others, and can't seem to accept that everyone experiences the world and their own goddamn brain illness differently
I'm just venting so if you have an issue with anything I said literally just block me I'm not here to argue. I'm getting shit off my mind and I don't think having an open mind, doing research, and having compassion are controversial statements so :/ if you wanna read my tag bitching go for it, if it pisses you off go away, and if you agree, neat. But fuck. I need to stop checking blogs I used to follow because every day I get angy because of them okay I'm rambling BYE
#a lot of folks in the did community like. get upset that kids on tumblr focus more on the parts than any other symptom#you know thats a defense mechanism right. right. right. like fuck#a newly diagnosed person or a teen literally still living in the abuse is not going to want to focus on the painful flashbacks and amnesia#and time loss and unstable identity and shit? thats fucking hard to focus on. esp if youre still in the midst of abuse#so they focus on the parts. it feels more digestible to them. if youre expecting a newly diagnosed person to look their flashbacks#dead in the eye. idk what youre thinking#it was much easier for me to look at the parts my brain decided i was well enough to look at#than it was to figure out how to navigate through flashbacks and to unpack them and everything#if its different for you and it was easier to face a flashback than a part thats literally fine#but so many of the folks in the did community could do with a little fucking compassion#especially towards teens and young adults still in the hell of abuse#theres also the misinformation rampant through the tags from what i understand but also its fucking tumblr not college..#people arent here thinking they should research and cite sources#theyre like 16 trying to share and make sense of their illness and feel validated and heard#it doesnt make the misinformation okay#and also if you think you can stop misinformation on fucking tumblr youre crazy lmao#its social media. its everywhere. y'all literally are engaging in the victim savior aggressor triangle everyday on tumblr#everyone in the did tag is unstable and recovering and at different stages in their recovery#everyone needs to stop generalizing do some research and learn some fucking compassion#i cant go in the tags anymore because so many people are obnoxious for different reasons#im done yall wild#if ur following this isnt about you lol#.txt
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vahanians · 3 years ago
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answer all in detail I dare you this is for reminding me of dmmd
you’re never gonna let me live that down are u smh
EE here we goooooo
1: LOL no but i do think you’re a freak if you outright hate cats. theyre not doing anything to you they’re just chilling and you dont know how to read their body language. i get not liking dogs bc they can be scary but people who hate cats are always like “cats killed my parents and burned my house down so i think they should all be put down” like shut up freak
2: i think skin care is a scam tbh all u need is sunscreen if you’re gonna spend time in the sun but other than that just use normal water and soap ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i havent ever had issues with my skin w this method especially since i stopped wearing makeup. u dont need a 10 step routine with creams and serums you’re just spending money you could use elsewhere
3: i cringe everytime this is brought up. i think a lot of claims have roots in misogyny but i dont think its an actual axis of oppression and im tired of hearing about it
4: i dislike political lesbianism on an intimate level. there’s nothing wrong with wanting to center women in your life but you cant choose to be a lesbian. sexual orientation doesnt work that way. and a lot of political lesbians/lesbian feminists are just plain old homophobes who are disgusted by actual lesbians
5: love it wish i could live my life completely separate from men!! i think women should center women in their lives/surround themselves with other women. whether its only having female healthcare providers, having female educators, coworkers, friends etc; i think its incredibly important and more women should be less afraid of it
6: as a so-called gold star i dont understand the hate tbh if anything there should be more support for lesbians so they dont need to ~explore~ with men or force themselves to be with men. in a perfect world all lesbians would be gold stars because we would feel safe and comfortable in our sexualities from the get go
7: i think centering your feminism on your sexuality is a little silly. we have different experiences but we should be focused on liberation for ALL women. i think we have different priorities and i know hetfems can be extremely homophobic which is a huge problem. but like we’re all women so
8: personally? i get it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not only should women be able to access abortions for any reason, i completely understand not wanting to bring another male into this world. could u imagine having a male baby who grows up to be a pornsick patriarchal piece of shit? id kms
9: while i get the desire to ~go back to nature~ i think its kind of bullshit. we have science and medicine for a reason so get your flu shot and quit expecting elderberry syrup to be a miracle drug. ntm a solid majority of health supplements and herbal remedies are NOT fda approved so they’re full of toxic shit and like sawdust its not as healthy as you think it is. also preservatives good i like my junkfood tyvm
10: pastel blogs no but age regression? yeah tbh i dont understand wanting to treat yourself/be treated as a literal child when you’re a grown adult. its very icky to me and i do think that a good majority of it is fetishization of children/childhood its gross. you can like cute stuff and kid stuff without being a weirdo freak about it
11: bad i think all polyamory ppl are just looking for “ethical” ways to cheat on their partners with no repercussions. if you arent satisfied in your relationship you need to take a look at yourself and not go “oh ig i just need to fuck more people then”. polygamy is bad and used (esp in fundamentalist sects) to dominate women and keep them subservient to men all polygamists die challenge
12: i think veganism is an extremely restrictive diet and treating it as the be-all end-alll of moral superiority is just insane. humans are omnivores and beyond that, a lot of the vegan staples come from unsustainable and exploitative farming practices that put real workers at risk. also i think a lot of vegans are straight up annoying like shut up people like meat. we should be focusing on sustainable and humane farming practices not eradicating meat from our diets entirely.
13: ohhh i hate this question but??? i think gay men. from my experience straight women are so disgusted by the idea of lesbians and our attraction to women whereas gay men can understand where we’re coming from bc they face the same kind of attitude from men- we’re degenerates who are perverted and disgusting for being same sex attracted according to straight people
14: im not straight so its weird to answer this but tbh? i think its a good idea. protect yourselves from men who will hurt you and abuse you during the most intimate moments of your life, and protect yourself from stds and the dangers of pregnancy at the same time. tbh if all women went on a sex strike i think men would straight up die and thats a good thing
15: NOOOOO i hate this lmfao femmes are lesbians and even if they wear makeup/perform femininity it doesnt change that. tbh i dont get it and think all women should break free of the prison of femininity but that doesnt make them not lesbians
16: i think its fun! we need more magic in the world tbh and if that means you believe in astrology or crystals then good for u. if im being honest i have tarot decks that i use and its a good way to see your questions/issues in a different light. plus its fun. dont we all wish magic was real in some way? its when it trumps your respect/belief in actual science that it becomes a problem. ur crystals wont cure your mental illness but they can make u feel better wrt the power u place on them
17: eesh…..i want to say yes, but i also always want to point to rachel held evans and female pastors etc and go see!! women are taking back power in religion!!! its just so difficult because for a majority of history religion HAS been used to oppress women. i think if you’re a woman who is interested in religion you need to find women who share your beliefs & standards and find your community with them and not the church as a whole. re: a biblical perspective a lot of the stories do involve women in a way that isnt as shockingly misogynistic. there are stories of women among jesus’ disciples, stories of women rising up against their abusers & against corrupt men in positions of power etc i think its important to remember that the bible is first and foremost a document with its own historical context, one that comes from when women were little more than property and that its authors themselves were from that time as well
18: i guess? in the way that people can be shitty about bisexuals. but its not an axis of oppression in the same way homophobia/misogyny is. no one is banning bisexual marriage theyre banning homosexual marriage.
19: okay ): all jokes aside it might be immature but it can be extremely funny. i am not immune to 12 year old sense of humor
20: as an adult i feel weird about it like if youre a young teen im not gonna follow you/interact with you and i think we should all be more considerate of that. but if theyre being racist/homophobic/misogynistic being a minor isnt gonna save them from being told what theyre doing is shitty. we also need to be aware that kids learn from the adults around them so we have a responsibility to be good role models regardless of what we may think about it. there’s always going to be moments where we interact with minors so we need to make sure we’re instilling in them good values and confidence within themselves, ESPECIALLY young girls
21: bad. being a gay man doesnt make you not a man and means you still need to do the work when it comes to misogyny. you arent a women and shouldnt treat womanhood as a costume or a fun little jokey joke you can use on a whim.
22: why do they look like that. why are they so often so misogynistic (using derogatory terms for women, calling each other fishy etc). its never as respectful as drag kings are, it seems like theyre using ramped up and obnoxious performances of femininity to hate and mock women
23: if normal healthy sex isnt enough for you youre a freak who needs therapy tbh especially if your kinks are violent and degrading its just not healthy and im afraid you’re going to use it as an excuse to hurt and violate women. plus the idea that anything can be a kink is just microlabeling to an extreme. wanting to be praised during sex isnt a kink its normal. being attracted to hands isnt a kink theyre just nice looking and you appreciate the human body etc
24: i dont condone the usage of slurs in any context
25: what the fuck is this LMFAO??? OH WAIT is this like…the discourse around dating bi women bc some people think theyve been ~tainted~ from their experiences with men?? thats just bad and misogynistic lmfao
26: i think it can be dangerous for women (stds the risk of pregnancy how men use it as a tool to hurt and force women into submission) but i dont think its inherently degrading like blowjobs are
27: NO LMFAO THEYRE GAY i hate this way of thinking butch/femme is a huge part of lesbian culture and its irritating for it to be discounted. imitating heterosexuality would be like. sucking on strap (ew) and etc not simply just being butch/femme
28: um. i dont see the need just leave them alone. your pubes are there to protect your vulva theres no need to put product in them in fact it defeats the purpose. quit putting unnecessary products near your vulva people wtf
29: i dont think it exists lol i think there are people with little interest in sex people who have low libidos for one reason or another etc but especially from reading about how asexies describe wanting sex/seeing other people its just a product of extreme compartmentalization of sexuality. plus the idea that everyone who isnt asexual just wants to bone everyone they see is so ridiculous its laughable. in my personal experience i called myself ace as a young teen bc i didnt relate to conventional descriptions of attraction bc um i was just gay and we all experience attraction differently
30: not the ones who arent white i mean i have a horrible uscentric worldview that comes from being raised in the us so…but i think if you’re white you’re white but there are europeans of all heritages and races just like theres us americans of all heritages and races. but like youre not not white just bc ur italian yk?
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sanchoyo · 3 years ago
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danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳
-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol
-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)
-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO
-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)
-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)
-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings
-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?
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-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.
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-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK
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-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom
-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.
-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)
-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!
-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH
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*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!
-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN
-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!
-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET
-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)
-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later
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-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!
-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭
-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again
-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe
-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.
-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this
-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.
-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!
-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH
-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)
-'billy fenton'.......................
-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.
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-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.
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-this is the most screenshot of all time
-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.
-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.
-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.
-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy
-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(
-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....
-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...
-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D
-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN
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-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.
-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)
-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god
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-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...
-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...
-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs
-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!
-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.
-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.
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-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.
-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.
almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!
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laiqart · 5 years ago
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The Untamed vs MDZS Anime: Which is better?
Going to japan now. Currently in the plane. The in flight tv is broken. So... ive been watching mdzs on youtube!
Hot damn the animation is beautiful. Every frame is a work of art. How the hell. Its so beautiful. I mean they use 3D a lot for the backgrounds and boats but its still gorgeous and not too jarring. The lighting is so realistic, scenery too. All the fighting choreography is beautiful. The way the swords swing in the air looks so fluid, and when swords clash its in flashes of light the color of their sword. Such a tasteful yet stylistic choice. Everyone's, esp wwx, hair is so flowy, so detailed every strand sways in the wind. The waves reflect light and move smoothly. How the hell did they do that. How. I was thinking of doing those screencap redraw thingy with the scene when wwx whacks lwj's boat. (they also emphasised how far lwj's boat was sinking into the water, which makes it more convincing how wwx can deduce that theres something underneath vs the live action where lwj's boat looked normal..) it was damn beautiful. The thing is, the point of these redraws is that the animation looks simple, so the redraw would enhance the scene. But for mdzs, everything is already in peak quality, redrawing it will only look worse. Its like writing fanfiction of books. The original writing is so damn beautiful, fan fiction ends up being such a stark difference that the reader cant help but compare the 2.
Drama, as everyone says, shows better facial expressions due to the live actors, so emotions hit harder. But anime def LOOKs way better in all action scenes. Angles that follow the characters are used to emphasise scale between enemy and chracters, and all the movements feel so dynamic, and i love how when they use talisman spell thingies they got a circle of light in an intricate pattern thats super beautiful. In the drama, its just a piece of paper.
However, i prefer drama's lwj. Maybe cos wyb looks so young, its more believable when he freaks out over the adult book that wwx gives him in the library scene. In the anime, he looks 20+-30+. Its a bit hard to believe that he'd be worried over that. Idk theres a kind of innocence and naivety that leads to the stubborn refusal to express emotion that young lwj is plagued with that we have in the untamed (was this intentional on wyb's part or is it because the teenage lwj wig made his eyes look floaty, so he seems more like a teenager and naive, less experienced as a cultivator vs lwj 13 years later? Dk but it works!). In the anime, he looks like an adult thats calm and level headed already from the get-go. Idk maybe i just havent watched enough (only seen up til the water demons in caiyi town). In both anime and drama, everyone and i mean EVERYONE besides the fricking babies looks the same 13/16 years later. It doesn't feel like time has passed at all. I wish they would have maybe a change in costume, or hairstyle in the anime. The drama at least changes their costumes a little and neatens the hairstyle of jiang cheng and lwj to indicate maturity.
Btw i love that in the anime for the water demons section they had wwx and jc casually chatting (though its a blatant cornetto ad which is fricking weird. How can there be frozen treats back in those days), then wwx beautifully catapulting himself onto a boat and rowing away showing the unique and romantic af mode of transport in caiyi town, then smoothly transitioning to the lan bros on the bridge right above them with lwj asking why lxc decided to bring them along. Its just tying together so many scenes, quickening the plot along and yet doing it so naturally and seamlessly compared with the novel and drama.
Though i like that the drama involved wn and wq and have wwx save wn, and makes way more sense why wn would want to risk his life to help wwx recover his parents fricking corpse illegally right under the nose of wen chao and wen zhuliu.
The anime removed the entire mystery plot of a yan and the fairy goddess statue and thats honestly the best best best choice to make. In the drama, it was one of the worse sections ever cos i didnt understand who all these random ass characters were (it was one of the first mysteries in the drama) and yet it didnt go into detail like they did in the novel, so not only did i not know what was going on, i also didnt give a single shit about the characters. When i saw that they completely did away with the random passer bys who screwed around with the fairy statue, i was thoroughly impressed.
I liked that the drama let nhs have his own trouble making moments tho, like having him sneak a live bird into class. It makes it more convincing that wwx would be friends with him because they both have a mischievous side that they can both appreciate in each other. In the anime, nhs just looks like a loser nerd thats weak in swordplay and does wwx's homework for him, without a will of his own. It doesnt make sense why wwx would keep him around. Then again, maybe itll make the reveal that nhs is a conniving mastermind more impactful for the anime, oh well only time will tell.
I liked that lxc and lwj look similar in the anime. Its more convincing when people call them the twin jades of the lan clan. In the drama, they hardly looked like brothers. Lxc looks more like lwj's mentor or teacher rather than an older brother. In the anime, they look more siblingy.
I miss drama wen ning. I rmb when he looked so fierce and terrifying in his first appearance. I was legit intimidated. Oh how hes changed! Hes so fluffy now. In the anime hes equally menacing. His fight scene with the statue goddess was so beautiful. Doesnt it take a long time to animate the chains moving so fluidly yet dynamically yet somehow looks like it can disintegrate rock in an instant? The lighting on it too, how it reflected the fire of the forest around them. Have i mentioned how beautiful having that fight scene at night was? It was dark and ominous looking, yet the fire cast an epic looking light over the scene with warm orange glows. And the animators had that fiery light reflected in anything they could find: eyes, chains, swords.
Ooh but jiang cheng's whip looked prettier in the drama than in the anime, which is kind of weird given they were both cgi-ed. Somehow the lighting of the whip in the drama was brighter, looked more like real lightning vs the whip in the anime looking a little dull, like they colored it then added a gray filter. This is kinda bizarre given the laughably bad effects of the effects for everything else in the drama. Visuals for non human things is not the drama's strong suit, so it makes u wonder what happened for the anime whip. Maybe in the dark, the lightning would have to look hella bright and reflect on the surroundings (tedious to color) more so than in the day, hence why it looked worse in anime vs drama. Oh well.
As for lan sizhui, its weird that his voice is so deep in the anime (and audio drama!). Ive always seen him as a kiddo thanks to the live action, so hearing him sound mature is kinda off-putting. He sounds like a leader, and gives off lwj vibes vs in the live action where he gives a goody two shoes studious nerd vibe, whos just trying his best. Maybe this is better, he feels way more like a lwj-raised child(serious and business-like) which makes more sense. Live action lsz feels like a wwx(optimistic and intelligent) AND lwj(well-behaved and sensible)-raised child. Anime lsz looks like hes got his shit together. Jinling is fairly similar in both, maybe less prideful in the anime (in live action theres the scene where im pretty sure he indirectly kills one of his men by wishing for the fairy goddess statue to come to life. That was a hella asshole move. This was omitted in the anime.) Jingyi in the anime somehow looks snarkier. Maybe cos he straight up duels with jinling and kicks him down a dark cave. Ive been wondering why all the tumblr posts depict ljy as this sassy ass short tempered kid when he was quite tame (though sassy by lan standards) in the live action. Now i know.
The costumes for the drama is better, more detailed though thats expected i guess. I just love that they have little white gusu lan clan uniforms that wwx jc and friendos are required to wear. Its so cute and such a cool detail. In anime, theyre all in their usual garb, and they just look like random people who decided to turn up at lan qirens class. In the drama, it looks more like a school that they have to attend for half a year and it feels characteristic that gusu lan clan would require their students to have a uniform, given their incredibly strict regime type. It also serves to separate the happy carefree school days from all the other tragic af events in wwx's life. His costume starts out white showing innocence and purity of his naiive teenage years who had yet to experience hardship and still feels invincible as a youth. After school, he wears dark blue, as he goes on an adventure with lanzhan and experience how important the yin iron is (gives up the joking light hearted nature as a teenager by realizing the gravity of situation if the wen clan gets their hands on it) and maybe that hes not truly part of the jiang clan who wears purple. Then his costume eventually becomes black as he experiences his first life and death situation that he isnt sure he can handle. That child like assurance that "oh the seniors will let me off" or "im sure jiang fengmian will come to my rescue" gets demolished when he undergoes cruel indoctrination at the wen clans. This visual development may be a bit on the nose, but personally i love subtle representations.
Overall, the anime does do a better of job of explaining the world's mechanics, which is quite important. The drama is quite faithful to the book, at times even more so than the anime, so it irks me that this is the one thing they decide to skim on. The god damn premise, the first thing the audience needs: why the hell is wwx alive again and what is mo xuanyu doing?? I guess the drama thought that it explains itself but it doesnt really. It was really confusing. The anime, though somehow faster than the drama, still has the time to properly explain mxy. A technique ive noticed is that they do exposition during the fight scenes, which is so ingenius. Its visually appealing, as always, so its not boring, the viewers gets to understand whats going on AND it gives the sense that the characters are so skilled that they carry causal conversations while fighting supposedly weak enemies like zombies and water ghosts, which is accurate seeing how wwx and lwj and friends are supposed to be one of the most powerful cultivators.
TL;DR both are good lol
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overly-ironed-waffle · 4 years ago
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also like??? idk sorry, i know i just posted two essays but im irritated
okay so quick brief backstory: a few years ago when we were living with my family while i recovered from birthing my second gremlin, my husband and my sister worked at one of the stores. they made friends with someone who was super cool and we all loved and got along with.
this person was super young, freshly an adult, and in a super abusive family situation. so my family immediately went *swoop* and brought them in to live with us. my husband and I were making plans to move again soon, as I was finally feeling better and we wanted our own place and wanted to live among the trees again. so we suggested friend come with us. friend had just recently entered a new relationship, with someone who also was in a super shitty abusive family situation. problem is, their new beau was juuuuuuust shy of being an adult. still a minor. so we did a bunch of research on california run-away laws, and basically came up with a plan to help him run away and escape and move with us in a totally sketchy but fully legal fashion.
and it worked! they both moved with us, and i quickly helped him enroll in school (which btw, he had never ever been??? their family literally never sent him to school. they “homeschooled” him but he was essentially illiterate, but taught himself how to read using M:TG. he was HIGHLY intelligent, just didn’t have school smarts yet.)
things were going pretty well, we had already lived with our friend for almost a year prior to this and the research on how to help their beau escape their situation took long enough (as did finding a house) that we were pretty used to having him over as well, so it wasn’t a difficult adjustment really to living with them fully.
the problems started after we found out that friend was pregnant. i mean, aside from ages and all that, things were fine. it was obviously of course tense and stressful, but we did what we could to help. things were fine outside of that, until they started keeping to themselves more, hiding away from us, and then conspiring to leave without even talking to us. they literally gave us 3 days notice before they were going to move back down to their families, and ONLY because my husband called them out on it cause he heard them packing boxes.
we expressed our concerns, and discussed the things we had gone through to help them (so of course I felt kind of hurt because I put so much on the line, literally put my family in danger to help) but wasn’t even so much hurt that they were leaving, as it was that they felt it necessary to hide it from us and not openly communicate with us. that was something we always expressed was important to us, just talk to us and be open. and then also the fact that, our friend had signed a lease with us but then wasn’t even planning to give notice and only gave 3 days notice when they had been confronted about it. (this was april of last year btw)
honestly a lot happened between all that, but it’s mostly insignificant and not my own to tell (has to do with friend’s family) and so I won’t actually get into it. so it’s not even that I don’t know or understand why they were going back. I do, and I fully respected that. I just felt hurt that they didn’t talk to me about it, and had no intentions to.
so anyways, that weekend was tense and nobody really spoke much to each other, until i found out that friend had told their mom that we were apparently abusive and live in a pig stye, which wasnt true. but our house had been a little messy because i had been sick and we have kids. but friend’s parents were gonna be here by the evening to help them pack up and move back down, so i took the day off work and rushed to clean the house. when they were leaving, friend and i stepped aside for a minute to discuss things again cause they were handing over a piece of paper to help take them off the lease, and i explained “this is one of the reasons why I wish you had talked to us before hand so we were prepared with barely more than 3 days notice. we can’t live here with only the 4 of us once you guys are gone. we need a minimum of 5 people in this house, and so you up and leaving with no notice kind of fucks us over on that front.” (we live in low-income, and so for a 4bd our property management requires a minimum of 5 people to be living here.) and that was when they kind of looked horrified because they didn’t realize that, and said “well then i guess you can keep me on the lease for now, i wouldn’t want your kids to end up on the street. doesn’t matter how much i might ever hate you guys-- which i dont!!! (((super quick save))) but even if i did, i could never do that to children.” 
like, the “doesn’t matter how much i might ever hate you guys” with the quick save of “which i dont!!!” just didn’t (and still doesnt) sit right with me but we hugged everything out and i asked them to keep in touch and let me know when they got back down there safe and sound.
aaaaaaand then they promptly chose never to talk to me again. i mean, this year they reached out a little? but it was so fake and forced, and it was wildly uncomfortable honestly. which makes me really sad. i really do miss them and their friendship and wish them well, i just wish they had communicated with me.
but what upsets me is how they still talk to all of my friends up here that i introduced them to, and act so close with them and like they’re so best buds and keep in touch with all of my friends. but they never had the time to keep in touch with me? like i don’t care who my friends are friends with. im not gonna go policing that lol but it does make me feel weird and uncomfortable and jealous i guess? when i see them interact so close with these people they barely know, and only know because when they moved here with us I introduced them to all of my best friends.
idk. it really grinds my gears man and idk why. i really dont. i have no right or reason to feel this way and i totally recognize and acknowledge that. but it definitely makes me feel more distant from my friends, esp cause they know everything that happened and went down and everything they did that wasnt chill. 
and so idk, i was just feeling it again tonight cause i saw that they posted in a mutual group of ours talking about some issues they’re going through (and i hope they feel better soon and get better and overcome it all) and all my friends jumped in to make them feel better, which is great! i am lucky to have such amazing friends who would do that. but idk, it just hurts for some reason. its dumb. if i were to interact with them, or try, it would either get dismissed or really formally/shallowly responded to and then never interacted with again.
gaahhhhhh idk. i’m being dumb. brain is dumb. rsd is dumb. the fact that im still not over this is dumb.
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beverlyr0ad · 6 years ago
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crimes of grindelwald thoughts
alright obvious spoilers not that it matters bc i have one follower lmao but !! i need somewhere to scream abt this movie
first of all i love jacob and newt so much. best parts of this movie honestly i love them and i want them to be happy 
but to be fair i actually rlly rlly enjoyed watching this movie!! like,, there are a looot of things i dont understand about it and i have no idea how they happened or why theyre happening but thats Okay i would still recommend everyone watch it! its so good!!!
good things:
- grindelwald !! i mean,, no hes not a good thing but i really liked how they wrote his character. like i can UNDERSTAND the power he has over people and how hes manipulating them. hes really not just a Voldemort 2.0 and i respect that a lot bc thats not what an entirely different villain should be like. but casting issues and all aside i really liked this
- i also liked the interaction between leta lestrange and dumbledore that was some good stuff and the actors were rlly good too !!! - i like the direction queenie is going in. i mean i dont actually of course but it seems realistic and i think its important and its good character development n stuff so hhh hope that works out later tho !! i am Suspense
- jacob walked into that movie and i was like !!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDDDDDD i love him so much and it was rlly nice to see him back even if i dont think it was that neat to have him lose his memory of everything that happened for significance and in this movie have everything go like WHOOMP hes back but i uhhhh loved it anyway so this is not a complaint its a good thing - i still loved newt and having a good main character makes the whole movie a better watch in general. ive seen sequels where i just Cant get attatched to the new characters but wow i didnt really have much of a problem with that here
- it was also never boring and i really just loved n enjoyed this movie a lot!!!  okay hhh bad things/things that i personally disliked:
- ive seen different opinions on this but??? what was that blood pact????? what are u doing??????????????? i cant even be coherent properly so here are the main reasons that was rlly dumb
1- w-who does that in a romantic relationship ever :o and yes jkr has literally said dumbledore n grindelwald were in LOVE HELLO feel free to correct me if im wrong on anything but if ur gonna say it u should show it,,,, Continuity Please. anyway separate issue but if u love someone youre not gonna be like “hey lets make SURE we dont fight each other ever” because youll trust that the other person?? isnt gonna fight u???!!!???? im
2- thats literally not the reason he “cannot move against grindelwald” okay like it shouldnt be. this conversation literally happens in dh and dumbledore says he was scared of facing what rlly happened when ariana died!! there was no actual physical thing stopping him!!! the only acceptable justification is that he doesnt want to face this ghosts of his past and that moment and he is SCARED okay so COME ON give dumbledore his faults! hes scared of his past and that IS the reason!!
3- wait how did grindelwald, aberforth, and albus fight if they had already entered a blood pact. like i dont think albus would aim for his own brother EVER but could he even attack grindelwald if they had a blood pact?? not sure how this works lol but who was he aiming for then??? just firing everywhere randomly without intention cause that sounds,,, significantly harder to believe and makes that scene loads messier esp if grindelwald couldnt aim for albus either so
4- the blood pact was so frickin unnecessary im sobbing. like there was the scene where its all like “oh some say you were as close as brothers” and dumbledore is like “oh we were closer than brothers...” and im like OK! the little scene in the air doesnt explicitly reveal anything either so thats ok but the closer than brothers line was rlly revealing for me. at least for like two minutes and then dumbledore looked in the mirror and saw himself making a blood pact w grindelwald. like ok is That what u meant by closer than brothers bc thats what everythings pointing to but it shouldnt be and i.............ugh
5- im honestly just kind of hhhhhhhhhhhh. i can concede that the blood pact might be significant in later films and i look forward to watching them! but. at the same time i. wish that if you were going to say dumbledore was gay it would actually be explicitly referenced in the movie, instead of dancing around that and dropping it in hints and pieces that fans of the series who know this information will understand and others can just dismiss as friendship! there were So Many good places in this movie to include this fact (altho feel free to disagree w me haha) and i think that not including this fact was honestly tiring.
- nagini...........obv this isnt a huge problem bc idk where her story will go next n it might develop n become important but as of rn, i have no idea what her role in this movie is. i wonder if her reappearance in the harry potter series will actually be of significance and if itll be explained how she will end up under servitude to voldemort bc i genuinely dont understand right now. it just seems like a cameo to draw attention in the trailer ghgdjh
- leta lestrange’s death didnt feel right or impactful and im sad . definitely a huge opinion here but it felt like a mandatory character snuff to make the movie sad and ghdsjgfh oh well :(
- little continuity issues?? dumbledore being DADA professor instead of transfiguration bc Boggarts Are Important For Foreshadowing. also how is mcgonagall an adult or actually how is she even alive and um of course the fact that this movie doesnt confirm what jkr has said about dumbledore and grindelwald beforehand. 
- im actually going to totally repeat myself bc this deserves a separate point umm why arent dumbledore and grindelwald actually shown as in love with each other as young men. its completely relevant to the movie and its not hard to put it in there instead of the bLOOD PACT (ask anyone irl ive been screaming abt the blood pact ever since i came out of that movie). anyway i know david yates said he wouldnt be including that as part of the movie as fans are aware of that aNyway but its not that hard to understand. people are asking for actual representation?? not smt vague??? because this is just here to Please People. if u refuse to see this ship, ure just gonna see them as having a friendship! maybe u havent heard about what jkr said or maybe ure choosing to ignore it bc,, idk that says smt about u, or maybe another reason idk! but if u go into this knowing they were In Love and hoping to see confirmation of dumbledore being canonically gay, youre going to hear that “oh, we were more than brothers” line and be like oh yeah we been knew, or more seriously like hey! maybe we’re getting a canon confirmation, not just floaty young people leaning towards each other! like when he looked in the mirror i was like okay This Is It this is gna be confirmation but then it wasnt oop. it was the !!! bloooood paaact !!! which means that people could interpret the “closer than brothers” line as meaning oh we done did a blood pact that means we blood related look at us go! Wow! so this is basically just a half azzed attempt at pleasing people w stereotypical viewpoints and people happy to see representation. hmmmmmmmmmm.. (psst if u actually ship older dumbledore n grindelwald tho What Are You Doing Stop !! thats not a healthy relationship, grindelwald is an awful person and dumbledore deserves to grow from the person he was before!!! he deserves so much better!!! im not saying to ship them but im saying that if we’re gonna say they were in love as young men and if we are going to confirm that dumbledore is gay well,,, lets put that in canon pls!!!! we need canon representation but we dont need to pretend this ship is healthy or good bc its representation either. this isnt shipping this is asking to acknowledge that dumbledore was gay and in love with grindelwald and its confirmed that grindelwald was in love with him too. in the place the story of tcog is now, that relationship is not ever going to happen again and if u actually think it is ure suffering from some next-level delusion. just be definitive and acknowledge that your characters are LGBT tho pls!! u said they were!!! actually i would be so much happier to see a Happy And Healthy LGBT Pairing can we have that? please?)
- big spoiler but hOW IS CREDENCE ALBUS’ BROTHER WHAT IS HAPPENING DKFJDKSH i need to separate my thoughts again
1- AGE DIFFERENCE........apparently dumbledore is like 46 in this movie right?? credence doesnt look over 20. okay percival dumbledore is put in azkaban before albus starts school right?? so the maximum age albus can be is 11. now im gonna say that kendra was not having any more kids w anyone else after that incident fs so the oldest albus can be when ariana is born is 12, leaving room for some other stuff okay. ALBUS AND CREDENCE DONT LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE A 12 YEAR AGE GAP WHAT IS HAPPENINF
2- i saw people theorizing that credence is ariana’s son and NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO PLS NO
3- not an actual issue but i thought grindelwald said his name was berrylius dumbledore which i later remembered as berrylium dumbledore and anyway thank god for the internet
4- okay at this point i cant tell if this has just been brought in for shock value or smt like. is this relevant to the plot. is grindelwald even telling the truth. w-why did the movie end there. help....... i think thats it but i do want to say that i respect the rights of the creator jkr to do whatever she wants w these characters. its her world! but i can have a whole bunch of opinions n feelings about this movie and still support it. after all, i love harry potter and the whole wizarding world w my whole heart. 
did anyone even read that LOOOL that was so long sorry
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yonblu · 7 years ago
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someone: shut up
me: nothing can truly excuse yondu being a bad father to peter but how he was raised is understandable to a point considering yondu himself never had a family until he was twenty years old, and spent his entire childhood in slavery and knowing that his parents sold him into that life, and it’s also worth pointing out that the family he DID fine were ... ravagers. literal violent, rough space pirates ---- the only life he’s ever known is either getting hit or hitting other people. he also picked peter up on a whim like, ok actually hold on im rambling too much for this to be a joke post
i think it’s likely that yondu only found out about what ego was doing after picking quill up. OR WAIT. NO. i bet he knew, at that point, and picked peter up anyway, probably thinking he could ignore his conscience and complete the job. but he couldn’t. especially seeing peter so scared, probably curled up somewhere w/ his walkman absolutely frightened to death and in so much pain bc his mother had just died. yondu is ... rough, but he’s soft at heart. zero idea how to deal with kids or how to comfort them, but he probably tried his best. ended up making peter laugh. and then it’s like, oh no, can i really send this kid to his daddy just for him to die ?
oh my GODDDDD THIS GOT LONG IT’S GOING UNDER A READ MORE
so i think that’s when he decides to adopt peter, because he probably thinks it out of the question to just dump him back on terra ---- probably chats to him a bit and learned his mothers dead, anyway, so it’s like, what has this kid got to go back too ? he decides it on a whim, and then he has to justify that decision to the rest of his crew ( bc like, i doubt most of them would care abt what ego is doing, judging from their attitudes in gotg2 ). SO IT’S LIKE. he’s skinny, can fit into places adults can’t, good for thievin. and his crew r like yeah okay, good idea captain
SIDE NOTE that’s probably why peter thinks thats why yondu took him in. like, the crew thought that, so they told him, and yondu Can’t Act Soft, so he goes along with it. obviously peter believes that. he never heard otherwise.
and like !! we can’t ignore the fact yondu beat peter up to teach him how to fight. he probably didnt mean to scare him or like, give him permanent emotional damage, but that DID happen and he IS sorry about it, and can’t excuse that. he probably did it bc the ravager lifestyle is FULL of violence, and you have to know how to fight if you wanna survive, so better to teach him that from a young age. fuckign. lets him spar w/ the rest of the crew who also have like, no idea how to deal w a kid, so they’re probably way too rough w him.
god. and he rlly does love peter. it’s shown especially in peters flashbacks in gotg2 at the end, where we see yondu teaching him how to shoot. you CANNOT TELL ME there weren’t a bunch of soft moments like that, esp when it was just the two of them and yondu doesnt have to keep up appearances. a lot of what peter knows now is thanks to what yondu taught him. flying, shooting, stealing.
HES JUST !!! he wasnt a good dad. he didnt do it right. he didnt know how. but he loved peter, he always did, from the very first time he made him smile he’s been soft on him. despite everything: peter is his son. he’s family. and honestly, as much as he wishes he didnt break the ravager code ---- looking back, he doesn’t regret it, because otherwise he’d never have had peter. like this kid means the world to him, even if hes absolutely horrible at showing it. can i just fucking die im literally crying as i write this
AFTER GOTG2 WHEN HE SURVIVES and he’s well enough to be back on his feet, he works on rebuilding his relationship w/ peter. he rlly tries to act like a dad, even if its too late and he still... doesnt rlly know how.
anyway i love yondu. thanks
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officialmountaingod · 6 years ago
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id honestly love to know if adult mental hospitals are as awful as the ones for teens because the people working there treated us like we were inherently incapable of understanding the reasoning of rules (literally everytime anyone asked about them wed just get a “you just have to follow them its not for you to question” which uuuhhh. doesnt seem ideal for anyone but esp not mentally ill and possibly abused kids) and frequently got really annoyed at us which is so easy to detect and incredibly unfair to treat kids worse especially when they were the ones who chose this job and most of the kids didnt even want to be there...
also a lot of the rules seemed more reasonable for actual small children and not teens and i do believe theres a thin line between having someone help you plan your day and have routines and encouraging you to follow them and like, completely stripping someone from having any control over their life and basically constantly pressuring and punishing them. and that doesnt even include the fact that the staff and my therapist didnt seem to have talked at all because my therapist encouraged me to take painkillers when i need them while the staff would refuse to give them to me when they thought i didnt need it (which like. how can they possibly know that how am i supposed to prove this beyond saying im in pain and being unable to do shit) and in general both punishments for selfharm and not being allowed to show any scars no matter how hot the weather was, somehow being told were not allowed to touch each other in any way (which ive never gotten a concrete reason for but u know. wasnt allowed to question that one anyway) and having a ton of people working there who seemed to not even know the basics of how to treat mentall ill kids
anyway this got long but tl;dr mental hospitals really need to work on treating kids right and consider that some of the patients complaining might have a point
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irregulardiaryposts · 4 years ago
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00:53 21/06/2021
Hello again <3
so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.
i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.
so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.
i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.
so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.
anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.
i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.
i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.
god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.
20:21 30/06/2021
MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V
MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY
so
23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.
um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.
my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.
so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.
the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!
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babiewonho · 7 years ago
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can u write an essay on kihyun now please don't just saw beat root thanks QUEEN uwu
kihyun’s personality is so funny and contradictory to me lmao like he has such a big personality and um wow i just got distracted bc i put on drew barrymore by sza and it was playing at half speed bc i just played the COME GET YALL JUICE vine at half speed but anyways
first and foremost i think kihyun is very Capable like kihyun is like. so good at being an adult like he just knows how to do everything it’s so weird it’s like he was born just Knowin. like he’s just so confident and he’s good at speaking most of the time and like he said he would go to vocal lessons while working two jobs that weren’t even close to each other like he’d have to take the train and he’s so determined even going to school like he’s been doing while promoting as an idol like he just has a really type a personality and he wants to be good at everything and he has the drive to achieve that as much as any human can it’s very respectable and imo a very attractive quality like i feel like if i asked him how to do anything he’d know for some reason
he’s very charming and he knows it and sometimes it’s greasy LMAO like when they had to do the pick up lines in that video and mx were dying in the bg but it’s very effective i think that’s really good for networking etc and he’s so friendly to other ppl he acts like he already knows them but he isn’t like…overstepping boundaries which is imo the way to become friends with someone wh said one time that to get close with ppl you just have to act close i think and that’s what kihyun does he seems very sociable and friendly and easy to talk to like he makes an effort to keep the conversation going and get on the speaker’s level/help them understand the topic 
tying in with him being rly capable he’s so good at cleaning n cooking like why is he so damn responsible lmao share some of those skills w/ me…wtf…but like wow that’s rly a whole adult i bet he even does his taxes on time but he takes his work so seriously and like he’s not even a dancer but he puts so much focus n energy into dance and it shows he’s so impressive…i…i hate it
so! i think what makes ppl misunderstand kihyun is he has this weird like…sharp outside/soft inside thing going on…coughs tsundere   but by that i mean  he’s not Genuinely mean   but he plays along well with others esp 93 line they have a very cozy n roasty dynamic going on and he’s quick to tease others in a friendly way unfortunately ppl take that as ONE personality archetype the “savage” just like shakespeare invented and that ONE personality trait supercedes ALL OTHERS n suddenly kihyun hates everyone like false…hello he’s just bein a scorpio (he’s born n like the First day of saggitarius but he himself has said he’s a scorpio n the time he was born rly indicates that so im just going with scorpio these   are the Facts) he ALSO…isn’t very comfortable with “mushy” stuff he’s fine giving compliments but when they get into genuine emotional things it’s not that he gets weirded out  it’s more like   it’s okay until He has to get mushy abt his own feelings at least from what i noticed
i was actually surprised bc kihyun is somewhat easily embarrassed and i didn’t expect him to be so nurturing on an emotional level like hugging changkyun when he cried, he sympathy cries w/ wonho lmao, comforting wonho when he cried during that one v live. i thought he’d be more of a supportive but awkward type in that situation but he actually empathizes really well. that’s why i think kihyun’s personality is so like  contrary there’s all these traits that seem to be the opposite of each other but melt together just fine in his personality
but he actually has a very nourishing presence he just seems to have like a different rule for himself and he doesn’t like to get all deep or w/e that’s so scorpio of him…it embarrasses him lol he doesn’t like emotional vulnerability if he thinks it opens him up in a negative way but here he goes again with the contradictions- he’s emotionally open with children and pets. he’s amazing with children and animals n feels a lot of love n affection towards them as well as the members but honestly i’ve practically raised my little brother from infancy to like four years old and i have very high standards for child care but kihyun takes such pride in his work as always n he luvs the Babies so he is very mm meticulous abt it. i got stressed when the kid’s heads weren’t supports while getting sleepy in their chairs n then the moment i got stressed kihyun’s hand wld fly out to support their heads and he held them and esp the sick babie :(( even when he cried kihyun didn’t get panicked as many ppl too and hand him off to one of the more experienced ladies he comforted the babie n held it n also
during mxray season 2 when they met the kids again he got all worried abt i cant remember which kid it was…jongwon! i think he was worried shownu wld hurt him by accident in the bounce house thingie lmao which i was worried abt too so he was like be gentler and my heart…she soared he rly cares abt them :(( in a very genuine way n also! at the batting cages v live there were kitties and he, wonho, and ck were worried abt them getting hurt. he’s just a very caring n loving person and he does engage in a lot of skinship like they said on the psychology analysis part of mxray but i think rather than physical affection he shows love through actions like waking the members up and finding stuff for wonho etc ordering the other members around n leading them in the right direction he definitely has a BIG leadership quality n a desire to be in control but he doesn’t let himself like usurp shownu’s position lmao he just relishes the times when he gets power
i always say it’s more like shownu, minhyuk, and kihyun are three coleaders and i think they all compliment each other extremely well and kihyun is a rly good mc esp in things like mon happy radio he and minhyuk are rly entertaining and work together really well which is rly cool
he rly rly loves the members in a very fond way they make him smile a lot and what i think is so funny is i think kihyun originally has more of a tendency in situations like that there’s something historically in comedy called a “straight man” (i know) where someone else acts like an idiot and this person basically doesnt find it amusing n acts serious or upset kasjfsf and i thought kihyun wld be like that but i think mx just has such a goofy energy and kihyun often engages in the goofiness but that seems to me like something that probably changed when he met the boys i can’t seem him being like that arnd other ppl but i think he’s very fond of their dynamic and embraces it now like he laughs in this Specific way when the members all get Ridiculous like he’s in fond disbelief like when they kept singing the UFC song!!! in no exit like he’s lovingly saying “these idiots” in his head it’s really cute tbh he’s just very often Fondly Exasperated like when mh ate the whipped cream at the end of that one vid/when ck ate food of the plates from other ppl in mxray you can just tell he has so much love for his members 
as for his relationship with 93 line that’s just pure love n friendship to the point of comfortably making fun of each other n i really hate when ppl act like it’s genuine hatred bc you can’t make jokes like that with people if you genuinely dislike them they’re just all three very comfortable with and fond of each others and build off each other very well comedically and the teams switch up as to who is making fun of who and like?? if they rly hated each other things like mon happy radio with mh and kh and the times when mh was absent and hw was the replacement would be possible. they get along fine for that and it’s like an HOUR long of just them together and they make jokes and they compliment each other like anyone with more than 2 brain cells knows they don’t actually hate each other but :) had 2 say that
CAPABILITY ASIDE kihyun has these moments of hilarious like…airheadedness   as demonstrated in aleena’s amazing gifset of kihyun being dumb. he’s so smart but he just lapses on the most ridiculous things aksjfasf it’s so funny  kihyun, staring at a seatbelt: does this go around my neck   is this the Neck Belt  Oh..  just youthful naivete which the other members bring up sometimes n his face when they got their first win :(( cld it be…kihyun is a soft babie!! it Cld !! :D
also vocal wise i’m not a Professional or anything but he’s rly one of the best vocals in kpop like breath support and not singing with strained notes and vocal agility he’s just so good he and shownu are actually different imo than a lot of kpop vocals who just sing n half of it’s like  rhythmic yelling lmao like he and shownu can both sing BALLADS well and with CONTROL they’re so incredible and kihyun has a pretty wide range imo it’s very healthy singing with lots of support 
anyways i wrote WAY more than i thought i was gonna be able to abt him there’s deadass like 1.7k words right here lmao like yall readin this? eyes emoji anyways i hope this makes some sense it’s 4 am…anyways i think kihyun’s personality is fascinating and i feel like i have quite a few personality traits in common with him but also i wanna arm wrestle him so damn bad im not even reading back through this and checking it’s too much LMAO
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franeridan · 7 years ago
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i appreciate the bakugou post you made because it highlights his strengths within the context of his weaknesses & it emphasizes his development. i understand that people are critical of his behavior. i dont understand that i dont see anyone critical of midoriyas behavior in terms of their "friendship". midoriya is/was obsessed with bakugou & essentially stalked him all throughout their childhood & completely disregarded his boundaries. bakugou was p clear abt not wanting to be friends. [1 / 4]
but midoriya wouldnt accept it. i figure midoriya used bakugou as a proxy to project his hopes and dreams onto. once he had his quirk midoriya idolized bakugou progressively less. its completely true that bakugou bullied midoriya but how else do you expect a kid to handle someone refusing to leave them alone? rationalizing that stuff is a level of maturity a kid doesnt naturally possess. [2 / 4]
saying that bakugou is entirely in the wrong or even abusive for having an overreaction to midoriya ignoring his demands to leave him be is p dismissive of their dynamic. claiming a character can do no wrong in your eyes is just blatant favoritism. and that goes for every character in mha. esp because mha gives its characters so much depth & the respective issues they have to work through is part of storytelling. theres no final word abt any character b4 the manga is finished. [3/ 4]
their initial conflict makes the story interesting. a story needs conflict. there has to be room for growth. the fact that we see bakugou and midoriya grow out of their respective predicaments at a realistic pace is a testament to how they mature during the span of just two years & i feel like theyll grow much more during their time at UA. i hope the manga follows them until graduation (or even past that) & im curious to see how both characters develop. sry for rambling ;;
This is something I don’t talk about often, because Bakugou doesn’t straight out state his exact view on his relationship with Izuku until the second Deku vs Kacchan, and that’s chapter 117, spoiler for whoever’s only following the anime - but it’s also why I know for a fact I can’t have an eye to eye conversation with whoever’s not up to date with the manga, because they’re missing a whole half of the relationship they’re trying to judge. And I do think, if you’re not prone to empathizing with the type of person Bakugou is but you want to try and understand Bakugou and his actions anyway, that this is exactly where you need to start, because this is the most universally relatable Bakugou ever gets
Everyone, everyone, has that one person that they just can’t stand. It might be because of their view on life, because of their way of speaking or the words they use, because the way they move or a habit they have that just ticks you off or their tone of voice or anything, maybe it’s just a feeling sort of thing, who knows, but you can’t stand them. Imagine that person, that one person that pisses you off by just existing in your close proximity, and imagine them just not leaving you alone. They’re everywhere, follow you around, always look at you and want to talk to you, and maybe you’re a sensible adult and tried to brush them off easy the first few times, but they still stick around till the point where you straight out tell them you don’t want them around and yet they’re still there. The exasperation and anger that comes from that, that’s a universally relatable feeling. Everyone can understand it.
But Bakugou wasn’t a sensible adult. He was a kid, one with a temper too, and one used to always getting what he wanted to top that off. So he was violent in his rejecting Izuku, hit him and told him horrible things, and yet Izuku was still there. Izuku, for however kind he is, isn’t much of an empathetic boy. He pushes himself on people a lot - it’s his whole point as a hero, being unable to sit back and leave people alone even after they tell him to do just that (if not Bakugou then see Todoroki, see Iida, see Kouta, see Eri). A kid four, five, six years old isn’t made to deal in a mature way with that sort of relationship, least of all a kid with Bakugou’s personality. And with the way Bakugou is, Izuku’s insistence in being always around him and telling him stuff like “do you need help” translated pretty damn easily in Izuku making fun of him, and this is a way of seeing Izuku Bakugou’s just now growing out of. Now that they’ve had time away from each other, now that Izuku has stopped being hyperfocused on him, now that chapter 90 happened and Izuku properly realized that his hero behaviour just isn’t gonna cut it with Bakugou. And now that Bakugou has been faced with the reality that is his actual level of strength and self-sufficience, now that he knows for a fact he’s not the best, now that he can’t just put himself above Deku by proxy and needs to prove he’s better both to the world and to himself 
(which is why his bullying stopped after the sludge incident, a lot of the childhood/middle school bullying came from Bakugou being completely convinced of his righteous place above Izuku/everyone else and being really fucking tired of Izuku still not understanding it, so once he realized he was actually the one in the wrong the foundation of that belief went missing and with it his reasons to act that certain way) (this specific new way of seeing life and himself gets reinforced every time you see Bakugou have a breakdown in the manga, and then something similar happens again during Deku vs Kacchan 2 when another of the pillars he built his life upon gives out and leaves him unsure of how much of his actions through life were actually meaningless - it’s probably a useless digression, but understanding that most of Bakugou’s yelling and kicking and raging after the sludge incident is more directed at himself/made to prove something to himself than at whoever’s in front of him can help in understanding him as a whole a bit better, I think)
What a lot of Bakugou haters don’t realize is that Bakugou and Izuku have never been friends - there’s never been a time in their past when they used to get along, a friendship between them is being born right now for the first time ever. And this is not just because Bakugou’s a huge asshole, but because their personalities don’t naturally mash at all, and for there to be a civil relationship between them you need them to reach a level of maturity where they can talk shit out and establish boundaries and actually respect them once they’ve been established - and that’s as true for Bakugou as it is for Izuku
So yeah a lot of the blame rests on Bakugou’s shoulders, rightfully so, but there is a reason why the only person Bakugou’s ever had that huge of a problem with is Izuku. And anyone, anyone who can look at Izuku and genuinely say “he’s never done anything wrong ever” needs to go back to the start of the manga and reread it all once more, because there is a reason why Izuku’s an interesting character, and most of it rests in the fact that he’s got flaws he’s working on to fix just as much as everyone else is
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abiik · 5 years ago
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how long do keme and zoe wear their hair? what did they love doing best on the ranch as kids? what onions does gran gran have on jason, dick, the league, & what her grandkids are up to? between keme and zoe who wins rock paper scissors? has zoe ever cheated at rock paper scissors? and if the choice was given to them would they ever choose to be mortal/live the lifespan of an average human?
u are asking all of the v important questions jo ily so much <333
how long do keme and zoe wear their hair?
LONG v long. keme has longer hair but this is a competition he won only bc his hair is much finer in texture, less coarse and wiry than zoe's, which makes it all the more easy to tie in a braid and fly with. while zoe's braids STILL manage to get all tangled no matter HOW hard she tries to make sure that DOESNT happen.
i'd say keme's hair is hip length while zoe's can vary from lower rib to mid waist. new boot goofin arc zoe leaves her with the shortest hair to date with it at her shoulder blades bc of hair fried her hair is and how unkempt she was when she returned to earth that they were required to cut it all off for the sake of her self-care.
what did they love doing best on the ranch as kids?
tbh, PLAYING. all of that open land to just do whatever they wanted. running around in the open fields and hiding in the barns, laying with the cattle and riding the horses. sometimes even the chores were fun when kya and bellamy made games out of those things. tbh if u made a competition out of something (who can fold more clothes or who can collect more eggs) then they would have fun, even if the adults made sure that EVERYBODY won in the end so as to not pit the kids against each other.
exploring was something they loved to do too and of course their rescpective hobbies that have carried over into adulthood, like cooking and zoe's building and crafting and creating with her hands.
what opinions (?) does gran gran have on:
jason?
kanti loves jason. she loves this kid. she LOVES HIM!!!!! he always has a place at her table, he always has a place in her home, his shoes will always have a place to rest next to her front door, she will ALWAYS allow him in. kanti LOVES jason. he is apart of her family, whether he loves keme romantically or not, whether he and zoe drift apart and stop being friends, jason will always have a place as one of kanti's. she Loves him.
she thought he was a little scrawny kid at first in need of some proper care and guardianship when she first met him. so as a grandmother does, she sat him down at her table and stuffed him full of food until he passed out and bellamy carried him to zoe's bed. he didnt really need to grow on her. the moment jason stepped into the house at the ranch, kanti was like, yep i'm keepin him. i'm not letting him out of my sight until he has a full belly and a good night's rest. and then she did EXACTLY THAT!!
post death, kanti's opinions on jason don't change. the thing with kanti's family is that while they're demigods they have free will just the same as mortals do, and if jason believes that THIS is how he's going to change the world, than THAT is how he will do it. the only way kanti can hope to change that, if she WANTS TO, is to INFLUENCE HIM. kanti only hopes to serve as a guide to both jason, AND, her grandchildren, should they want to listen to her. if they dont, then they dont.
dick?
kanti actually meets dick before she meets jason! her initial opinion of dick is that he's a ticking time bomb wrapping up in a pretty lil box with a bow on it, the same way her zoe is wrapped up in kya's jacket; both of them are ready to blow their fuse and kanti was actually... REALLY worried about dick bc it didnt seem like ANYONE ELSE saw it. esp when dick began visiting the ranch and all of that kept getting stuffed farther and farther down and NOBODY was addressing it.
other than this, kanti really loves dick too !!! she LOVES HIM just as much as she loves jason! she offers up the ranch as a safe haven to him too should he ever need it and is visited by him Often. they talk too, and sometimes they dont. he'll just show up early in the morning right before she sets out to begin working and will begin helping her out around the house. kanti just lets him do his thing.
i think kanti holds a high opinion of dick, but not so much so that she holds him on a pedestal. it's more like, i'm in awe of how far you've come and i'm so proud of you, and she tells him this TO HIS FACE often. kanti and dick have a very good and close relarionship (and he gets extra presents during the holidays).
the league?
kanti doesnt like what they did with keme but she understands WHY they did it that way. she also doesnt like the way that they can sometimes come off as holding themselves ABOVE everyone else in a way for being this collective group. but overall, kanti is just like who?
what her grandkids are up to?
i'm assuming this means the vigilante stuff in general. kanti is SUPER supportive of this actually. esp bc they're using their powers and intentions for Good. kanti's side of the family comes from like,,,,,renowned tricksters who have also been well-intentioned at times to mortals , so she's pretty proud of them for playing into the 'well-intentioned' part of it. zoe very well could have reacted badly after joker killed the twins and became something WORSE than the red hood, but she DIDNT. like if they're gonna do it, she's happy that they're doing it with GOOD INTENTIONS. (she wishes zoe would take better care of herself tho ��👀)
between keme & zoe who wins rock, paper, scissors?
zoe
has zoe ever cheated at rock, paper, scissors?
if u asked zoe, no! never! if u asked keme, yes everytime.
if u asked me, why do u think zoe wins?
if the choice was given to them would they ever choose to be a mortal/live the lifespan of an average human?
👁👄👁 this is a personal attack.
for keme, i think this is a hard no. i dont think he's ever even truly considered it. like, it's never been a problem for him, it's never been something he's had to think very hard about. even on his mission, despite realizing he had feelings for jason, he also had just been notified that jason was dead. and kanti and bellamy have lived long enough, no matter how long his mission went, he knew he would be returning home to SOMEONE.
and when he does return, and finds jason ALIVE and with the effects of the lazarus pit being iffy, and then ZOE ALIVE, it remains a hard NO. keme would NOT choose to live a normal mortal life.
zoe :) on the other hand. HAS thought about this. bc if zoe was mortal than it would be MUCH easier to die and if it's much easier to die then well...... u know.
this is also something she as thought about when pursuing a relationship with dick AS U KNOW WHICH IS WHY I AM SO PERSONALLY AFFRONTED BY THIS QUESTION WKIXKEK GRRR BARK bc i genuinely dunno how i would feel about zoe taking up this offer over being able to die with the man she loves
but also if she doesnt, then she has to watch as he gets older and older until eventually he dies of old age and [SCREAMS] You Have Been Stopped™️
pspspsps send me asks about zoe & keme!
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