#and doesn't overwork herself

[erigold13261]

So after reading your response to my idea and I thought about it a bit more and here's what I came up:

Garden of Thorns would definitely help out with dealing with Yinu if they're fighting alongside bands like Ex-Jay, your oc band, etc.

Instead of actually fighting Yinu and her mother get therapy to work out their problems since Sylvie works as a family therapist whenever she's not playing her keytar. So cue Sylvie working with Yinu and her mother to help understand each other and also give advice while the rest of the band fixes up Yinu's piano and restore it to it's former glory. After they're finished the band dips and splits off to help some of the other bands fight the other Megastars such as 1010, Eve, and Tatiana.

If Garden of Thorns were to fight Sayu then it would pretty much be the same thing with Sylvie giving therapy to the Sayu Crew, and Percy being also a trans man giving advice to Remi that he will always have the support of his friends and other trans people in the community. Since Maxie is the manager and the father figure of the band, he could take Dodo especially under his wing and treat him like he was his own son, and also adopt him and the rest of the Sayu crew. Maxie could remove Dodo's cybernetics if Dodo wanted him to since Maxie also used to work as a engineer for cybernetics so he understands how they work and the safest way to remove them without causing any injury. Bonus if he defends the Sayu crew from their parents if they try anything and gives them the look that makes one feel ashamed if they did something wrong.

Also if any of the other bands need help fighting 1010, Eve, or Tatiana then some of the Garden of Thorns members could accompany them and provide backup. For example Maxie and Sodapop have experience working with machines and could help Ex-Jay take down 1010 and neutralize them since Maxie has a metal right arm that's pretty hefty in fighting against 1010, and he could use it to destroy them completely but Maxie doesn't do violence and spares 1010 after he does a bit of damage to them, and could also help Neon J repair them after the fight. Sodapop on the other hand has an arsenal of instruments that she plays asides from her bass guitar, so if needed she could switch to a giant cello, a flute, or even a kazoo to help fight 1010. Sylvie also shows up after the fight and gives therapy to Neon J and the 1010 bots because at this point no one can outrun a keytarist playing therapist-

Percy and Singel help DK West fight against Eve with Percy providing some very emotional vocals to throw Eve off while Singel's very flexible arms and legs could stretch out and neutralize Eve by wrapping around her. She does let go of Eve once she starts to calm down and Sylvie comes once again and gives Eve the therapy she needs. Bonus if Sylvie also helps DK West and Zuke reconcile with each other and helps them talk things out.

Finally Olive helps whoever is fighting Tatiana and provides her healing powers to those who get injured during the fight. Although this puts Tatiana at a bit of an unfair disadvantage since the ones she's fighting against is literally getting healed by Olive every time she lands a hit on them so I don't know if she'll keep fighting the ones attacking her or try to go after Olive since she's the one healing the ones attacking of their injuries during the battle. After the fight is over though Olive heals Tatiana of her injuries and Sylvie comes once again to provide free therapy to Tatiana and help work out her problems.

Idk what Artemis would be doing the whole time but she would probably find Kliff and ask for his help since he has intel on the NSR Megastars and Tatiana to which she could rely that information to the musicians fighting in the Re-Revolution.

Sorry if this was a bit lengthy I may have gotten a bit carried away in writing all this- I hope you like this idea I expanded on :3

Oh I love all of this so much! And don't apologize for showing me your ideas! It means a lot that I my own AU is able to make you think of all these cool things!

Also read more since both ask and my thoughts make this WAY too long lol

I can see Garden of Thorns fighting with Yinu and Mama at first until Yinu starts freaking out and yelling at Mama, letting out all her anger and frustration. Unlike at the end of the OG fight where Yinu plays rapidly, this would lead to a moment of peace for Garden of Thorns to figure out what to do.

But only a moment before Mama takes over Yinu's position saying this is for her own good and either playing the piano herself to attack Garden of Thorns, or playing a harp that was close by (probably the harp). Either way it would now be Mama vs Garden of Thorns. Though I can see Yinu escaping from Mama's grasp or from wherever she was put and working with Sylvie by playing her keytar against her own mother while Sylvie helps the two talk it out. This would allow the healing process to start and the two to stop fighting, both each other and Garden of Thorns.

I still don't like the idea of Yinu's piano getting fixed because, unless it is the music magic, the piano will never be exactly the same. Which would only make Yinu hate playing a "fake" in her eyes. But having a therapist help break down the walls between Yinu and Mama so that they can move into the healing phase will be enough for their part of the story to end.

And OMG the Sayu part sounds amazing! I can see Sayu having extra security like anti-virus protection that is used to fight Garden of Thorns so that Sayu herself is not the one being violent (and possibly get the public to hate her) but it is such a frustrating scenario that Tila lets slip some insecurities (or the voice of the other crew members bleeds into Tila's mic) which is how Garden of Thorns realizes something much deeper is going on with these teens.

They would still need to fully fight and disable Sayu, but once that happens then Garden of Thorns would do the thing May and Zuke did and end up in front of the Crew in person. At this point the public can't see anything else going on. This allows Garden of Thorns to have a more heartfelt moment with the Crew.

I can see at first the Crew tries to physically fight the band, but they are teens who never fought a day in their lives except in video games, so they are quickly restrained and told to knock it off (in a nice way) only for them to all freak out and start babbling and crying about being fired and how their families will treat them after this second defeat.

They are scared and just end up saying way too much, more than they should, which ends up bringing up Dodo's medical history, Remi's transness, some issues with Tila and Sofa's families. Allowing for Garden of Thorns to go with your route of supporting the Crew and helping them either fix their family connections or help them get emancipated from their families.

I don't think Dodo can have his cybernetics fully removed, because (at least in the way I see cybernetics) the cybernetic is a replacement for whatever it is being used for, not just a thing added on. So Dodo literally wouldn't be able to survive if it was just removed, but I can see Dodo getting support and no longer being forced to talk allowing his anxiety to lessen a bit. He would probably use a text to speech app at first but then later learn how to sign along with the rest of the Crew.

I DOUBT Ex-Jay would need help fighting 1010, if anything 1010 would need Garden of Thorns to stop Ex-Jay from going too far. Ex-Jay, especially Cyril, would be blinded by hate and going all out to try and destroy 1010, who can't even PROPERLY fight back anymore because of the removal of their weapons. It would be more Neon and security bots fighting on behalf of 1010 (security bots are not as hated because it is literally their job to be security, so they are not AI and the people are assured their code is standardize and visual for any coder to look through).

If one of 1010 gets destroyed, or at least badly injured enough, I see the truth about Purple coming out somehow. The truth about why 1010 lost a member, which before the public was always told it was either too expensive or done because of low views for Purple. But now, with the help of Garden of Thorns stopping Ex-Jay to listen, Neon or one of 1010 explains what truly happened, showing that 1010 is sentient and regretful of their actions and all they want to do is quit NSR but can't.

I don't know if this would change public opinions on robots, but it would boost the hate for NSR/Tatiana along with make Ex-Jay finally at peace with 1010 (maybe also even with B2J and West who see how much 1010 was pushed into a corner over the years).

The therapy from Sylvie along with mechanical help from Maxie and Sodapop would be a very helpful thing for both Neon and 1010 in the end. Since Neon is the ONLY one he allows to work on 1010 since he doesn't trust NSR, but getting enough help from Sylvie would allow him to trust Maxie and Sodapop enough for them to help upgrade 1010 and possibly fix his own cybernetics that have been deteriorating over time from lack of maintenance.

I don't think Eve would calm down when being held, she would freak out more and her powers would become more destructive and unstable, especially if West and Percy have thrown her off. There would be no rhythm to her music, no patterns to help fight against her. It is just an amalgamation of horrors and fears, insecurities and hate spilling out, with moments of sadness and a want to belong with someone flickering here and there.

I don't see Sylvie being able to reach out to Eve, but I do see Sylvie having the idea of bringing Zuke into the fight. West and Garden of Thorns protect Zuke from any attacks that Eve might throw at him (which she does unintentionally). And those two finally have their talk with each other that they needed.

It is different from in game, but similar enough that it gets the same message across to Eve. Allowing her to finally break down and stop trying to actively hurt people around her. From here, I can see her getting help from Sylvie, or at least getting a recommended therapist from her.

With West and Zuke, I do think they already reconciled before the second Revolution was even getting started. But if they hadn't, I can see West about to take Ex-Jay to 1010, but before going Zuke is having second thoughts causing a fight between Zuke and West (along with Ex-Jay) which Sylvie helps the two talk it out. Zuke's fears of losing friends and families to 1010 and West's anger at himself for not being there for Zuke come out. Ex-Jay end up going alone to fight 1010 (at least the start of the battle which goes as planned above) while Sylvie helps Zuke and West reconcile fully and finally.

Oh you KNOW Tatiana would immediately go after Olive if she figured out Olive was healing the others. Tatiana is not like gamers who see a healer and ignores them. No, she will cut that lifeline out as quickly as she can. I don't know if Olive or the others will be prepared enough to actually fight back or protect Olive, especially with how quick and strong Tatiana is.

I do see Garden of Thorn not actually being able to fully defeat Tatiana by themselves. Which is where Artemis and Kliff probably come in. Also, if Sylvie met Kliff beforehand, I feel like she could sense/use her therapist skills to see that Kliff was/is up to something. She might be able to get the Kul Fyra thing out of Kliff and how he feels before the fight, which would be better as he wouldn't make the fight about him and Tatiana, but if she can't then I kinda see Kliff trying to take the spotlight off of Rock/the Re-revolution and putting it onto his and Tatiana's past relationship.

Honestly, I also like the idea of past Gooling members coming back to talk with Tatiana. So Kliff and Artemis could have been doing that. Tracking the old members down and would bring them in at the end of the fight (along with B2J so those two could get closure) and making all these people talk to each other.

Tatiana might reconsider her actions, seeing her old bandmates along with just how hurt B2J really are and what she just did to Garden of Thorns. Not to mention hearing her other artists talk with Sylvie (she probably has a way to have heard what happened with the Sayu Crew), she would come to the realization that her forced order and hate of rock is only going to destroy the city, not help it.

She'd need more time to figure things out. Taking a temporary leave of absence for maybe a month or two while Mystery Man takes her position for a bit. The city starts to make changes and improvements. Getting more charters, allowing more genres to be played, creating healthy work environments. Tatiana would get help, either through Sylvie or another kind of therapist, and in the end things would be okay.

Not amazing like they are in the OG universe, but better than what they were before. There would still be lots of trauma and consequences that would have to be dealt with, but at least now there is a starting point.

Also, it's funny how DJ was not mentioned lol. I guess they must have finally got fired XD

Lol, but no. I get why you didn't mention him. I don't have much ideas for DJ because I just don't see him putting up anymore of a fight than he would have to. So my OC band was probably the one to take him down fairly easy. Heck I could see DJ just getting so mad at all of this happening again, and his head getting attacked/damaged some more, that he just literally swats my OC band away physically and quits.

DJ is so sick of everything. Sick of dealing with stupid people and their stupid ideas that he knows won't work but no one will listen to him so why even bother trying to even reason with all these lowly people around him!?

Also you know, I just realized that the satellite is still around because of this AU lol. So DJ already had his goal reached and so he probably doesn't have much plans afterward. Makes me think of that Plankton "I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far" meme. Like he is trying to find a new way to be fulfilled, which is probably why he started talking to Neon, along with the fact that he knows what it is like to have people be mean just because of what they are (DJ being half space creature thing, Neon being a cyborg, and 1010 being robots have all had similar experiences with assholes).

So hearing Neon talk about quitting all the time would start to sound really good to DJ, who finally just ups and does it during this fight. I doubt Tatiana at the moment would care about him quitting against the terms in his contract. She was looking for an excuse to fire him because of his attitude and declining quality of music. So him quitting (before all the other stuff in the Re-revolution happens) is something Tatiana just lets happen, and she voids his contract.

Now DJ can work full time on Neon's contract to try and get him and 1010 out of NSR, since Tatiana sees them as more important she won't just let Neon and 1010 leave like DJ. At least she wouldn't have if the the Re-Revolution failed/never happened. Afterwards, hearing everything from all the Megastars and also getting push back from robotic sympathizers, Tatiana would allow Neon and 1010 to freely leave NSR (which they take in a heartbeat).

[maridotnet]

first meeting

[sysig]

Finally made a Parapluesch OC, introducing Mama Oz ♥ (Patreon)

[bigmeandragonlady]

she's a 10 but is thinks she's doomed by the narrative

[deepfriedtrout]

🔥🔥🔥MIDDLE AGED WOMEN IN STEM🔥🔥🔥

[insufferable-homestuck]

dirk & dave the lastation sisters. for halloween

[killjoy-prince]

Ok two things. One, I'm sure they meant best friend when they wrote 'bf' but I keep seeing it as boyfriend. Two, the profiles can only be seen by people who have the RFA Chat App. Which is a private app. That Seven made. The guy who wrote this status. Your bf isnt gonna see it he's not part of the RFA

[quietlyblooms]

[ META ] + loss / coping mechanisms :')

send  [ META ] + a word / phrase / person / etc  and i will write a head  canon around it.

@ausrache asks about loss and coping!

chiyo?? coping?? that's funny :) ASDFG BUT REALLY!! chiyo is terrible at handling loss. her " coping mechanism " is mainly just her burying and repressing her feelings, much like she does in most other situations. it's just not as easily done. i'm interpreting this as her losing someone, and in that scenario, chiyo is a mess at first. she can't stop the tears, can't stop herself if she verbalizes how she feels. she'll crumble before your eyes, and she won't be able to pull herself together no matter how much she might try. to lose someone beloved is like a part of her dying.

afterwards, though, chiyo buries and avoids. she avoids talking about what happened, avoids thinking about it, and she buries any wandering thoughts with a multitude of distractions. she'll throw herself into her work with more enthusiasm than ever, spend time with others that would normally be spent alone, maybe even focus on those around on her and their own problems. she doesn't want to think about what hurts her on a normal day, but in the scenario where she loses someone? it's a whole other level of avoidance, though i think it would be easier to push her into talking bc she can't keep up her mask as well as she normally can.

in the case that she's able to work through her grief some, chiyo likely takes to painting/drawing, just as she does when she's working through the regular stuff. she won't draw the person, but she will draw things that remind her of them, such as favorite flowers, fictional characters, etc.

[courcgecus]

" My dear, have you taken time away from work at all? " Mr. AGES asked with a concerned look.

" Why yes... I do return home for the night..." She answers be sits down on the chair. Her eyes were weary, even when she smiled back. But seeing his look - there was something behind it. Which had her immediately to continue.

"...and I do have my days free... so I can take care of the errands, and the house, be with the children... I know I ask so much from you and Auntie Shrew to look after the children. You have been the greatest help so I can support us..."

[fatal-blow]

growing up, my mum always told me, whenever i went to the doctors or any sort of health professional, that it was important that i told them that i was hypermobile. she'd done the tests with me (herself being hypermobile and disabled in large part because of it) and though she didn't know the details, she knew that hypermobility was important to have in my health record.

so it was to my great surprise and displeasure that, whenever i told doctors i was hypermobile, it was skipped over. never addressed, never touched on, not even a comment to belie what that meant for me. i myself didn't know the impact hypermobility could have on a person, but my mother had been insistent about that fact. it was important, so why did no one else seem to think so?

i grew up with kids in school who were on the extreme ends of hypermobility. i knew a boy in middle school who could put both feet behind his head. i knew a girl in high school with long, spindly fingers who showed me how far backwards her arm could bend.

both of them had health problems, which became more profound as they aged. i never knew the details, but it stuck out that they were hypermobile, and so was i, and with my own health declining there HAD to be a connection.

common knowledge gives the vague definition of hypermobility as extra stretchy muscles, of being double-jointed. it comes with warnings not to push your hypermobile body into the extremes. don't overextend, you will hurt yourself.

the warnings are warranted. the importance isn't overplayed. these things i knew, but i didn't know why. and without knowing why, they were warnings that i could never truly obey, despite how conservative i became with my movements in a vain attempt to protect what little ability i had left.

hypermobility is NOT stretchy muscles. muscles are supposed to stretch. in fact, it's important to their health (those conservative movements prolly hurt more than helped!). hypermobility affects connectives tissues, and lands under the umbrella of Ehlers-Danlos Sydromes (there are a few) which can range in severity from affecting skin and tendons to affecting blood vessels and organs.

severity is rare, and much easier to catch. this post is for the people who are "a little hypermobile" so that they can understand what makes their body different.

a muscle and its associated tendons are like a hammock. the muscle is the fabric you lie in, stretching to accomodate the load. tendons are the rope that attaches the fabric to the trees, providing a secure anchor for the muscle to operate.

so, what happens when the ropes on the hammock are also stretchy? well, you sit in the hammock and your ass hits the ground.

now imagine that the fabric of the hammock has the ability to clench like a muscle. a normal hammock doesn't need to work that hard to stop ass from meeting ground, because it has sturdy anchors. a hammock with stretchy rope, however, must exert several times more effort, because the more the muscle pulls, the more the tendons stretch.

in short, hypermobility forces your muscles to work harder, because they must first pass the threshold of stretch the tendons are capable of before it can actually do the task it's meant to do. the stretchier the tendons, the harder the muscle needs to clench, the easier it is to overwork.

this info reframed everything i was doing with my body. small tasks of strength required the effort of much larger tasks, and larger tasks ranged from extremely difficult to impossible. holding my arms up so i could work above my head required monumental effort. with an anatomical peculiarity of the feet, i needed to use several muscles in my calves and hips just to stand without losing balance.

so no fucking wonder i crashed and burned in my 20s, when everything i did took all of my strength to accomplish. no wonder i would contort myself out of shape, so flexible that i could anchor myself into extreme poses just to give my muscles a moment of relief, overstretching myself without ever realizing why, and what damage i could be doing.

so, some things to remember:

overextending isn't good for you, but it shouldn't be your biggest concern. instead, be aware of overexertion, both how LONG you are using a muscle without breaks and how HARD you are using it.

small, frequent breaks are your best friend if you need to do something for awhile.

when you take breaks, stretch the muscles you'd been using.

if you need to exert effort to maintain a pose (whether it's sitting, standing, etc) examine whether you need to be clenching those muscles, and why.

actually whenever you are using muscles, try to train yourself to use as few as possible. you can practice by sitting or standing, and relaxing as many muscles as you can before you tip over. finding a sense of balance can make your life so much easier.

become acquainted with what relaxed muscles feel like. chronic tension can distort your perception of this, and result in habitual tension.

so yeah. if you're hypermobile, that's important. don't let a doctor's dismissal make you think otherwise. take care of yourself and know what you are and aren't capable of.

[bread--quest]

we all need to start appreciating peridot stevenuniverse more for what she did for us. it would be easier to say what she DIDN'T do honestly. she's autistic. she's silly. she's sad and little. she's an overworked i. t. guy. she's a saturday morning cartoon villain. she's aroace. she's gay. she yelled at her boss and immediately had a mental breakdown. she's both a victim of and perpetuates the oppressive society she was raised in. she has to unlearn her conceptions of other people's worth and her own worth so she stops hurting other people and hurting herself. she achieves this in part through robot fights. she's hyperfixated on a canadian soap opera. she draws shipping charts. she's nonbinary. she can never go home again. she doesn't want to go home again. she went from believing literally anything was a weapon that could be used to harm her to farming and making art and music with her best friend in a barn. she's like 3 feet tall. she has a twitter account where she talks in all caps constantly. she's green and her hair is a triangle literally what can't she do.

[sahisan]

★ summary: arlecchino nsfw hcs since her banner is almost out.

☆ cw: nsfw. wlw (fem terms like cunt and pussy used). choking. dirty talk. cunnilingus. strap-on. a bit of belly bulge. arle's hands appreciation.

☾ a/n: this is a repost of the same work bc the first one didn't get any attention at all. also, this is like, the most smut i could write for now so yeah.

— arlecchino loves loves loves holding eye contact with you during sex, especially if it's missionary. her stare is intense, like she'll stab your heart right here and now, but she knows you're only getting more turned on by it. even if it's doggy, she'd bend your back and press it to her chest and she would make you look into her eyes while fucking her strap up into you. her other hand would also slide to your lower belly to feel the bulge of the strap in it.

“don't take your eyes off me. look away once and you aren't cumming tonight.”

— arlecchino knows damn well you get off from just looking at her hands. and she also knows that you love having her hands wrapped around that pretty little neck of yours, so she uses this knowledge every single time. every time she begins with foreplay, her hand sneaks its way to your neck, squeezing it experimentally until she feels your knees weaken or hears a choked whimper leaving your mouth. arlecchino just knows that simply using her hands would be enough to make you cum over three times already.

“you have a very nice neck there, you know. i'm sure that if i'd squeeze a little bit harder, it'd make you squeal nice and loud.”

— is a master at dirty talk, prove me wrong. arle uses her hands and mouth just perfectly. always the low voice, whispering some very hot and dirty things right in your ear. when she's in the mood, she may even use some pet names to flatter you. but usually, she doesn't use anything other than 'dear', 'darling' and 'princess' — the last one is used especially a lot when she wants to pamper you like the princess you are.

“let me guess... you were having so many wet dreams about this, were you not? daydreaming about this for days on end. i bet that now this cunt is soaked already.”

and then:

“what's wrong, dear? cat got your tongue, hm?”

— when arlecchino comes back from work either overworked or mad, she knows she doesn't even have to explain herself to you as she buries her face into your cunt the moment she sees you. i wouldn't call it "taking her stress out on you" though, i think she does it more to calm herself. she eats you out like she's been starving for days even if she did it just yesterday. holding your hips down so you will stop squirming so much after she just gave you your third orgasm. you're becoming too sensitive, but arle doesn't look like she gives a damn, because she knows that if she was hurting you, you'd already say the safe word that you two have.

“shut up and take it. you know i can't help myself."

[rie-092]

FATHER, CAN I DIE?

✶﹒ platonic yandere! manhwa fathers x suicidal/overworked daughter! reader.

tw : suicide attempt, neglect, blood, etc.

erno etam

erno is a psychopath, or atleast— that's how you see him. at first, this guy pay no attention to you at all. but he doesn't neglected you (or atleast that's what your maids were saying to make you feel better). he still gives you whatever you want and needed, give you clothings, house and foods. but affection? nah, there's no way he will love someone boring as you.

erno sees everyone as chess pieces, and yes, unfortunately you were also one of those chess pieces. yes, you were an important piece because of your abilities when it comes on magic and military tactics. but it doesn't changed the fact that he can dispose of you whenever he wanted.

and maybe because of his treatment to you and how everyone ridicule you because of erno's treatment. became the last straw to make you do that thing. and damn, the maid who saw your half dead body laying on your research lab and with your slashed throat— got traumatized. to the point that after she saw you like that and called the doctor and the other members of the etam family, she resigned and unfortunately a year after become crazy.

but it wasn't the same for erno. because the time that he saw that sight— he became interested. he remembered when he saw you for the first time as a baby. how you held his finger as if it was your own way to say that you wants to live.

when you woken up, you were disappointed to see the face of your younger siblings as well as your grandfather who scolded you to the point that your ears were about to burst. but what caught your attention was erno who started acting like a proper father for the first time. and seeing that glint on his eyes, the excitement that you felt for the first time started to disappear when you realized that— ah, damn. this is another game for erno's perspective.

nevertheless, you still gave him what he wanted. a perfect oldest daughter who will never disappoint him. you showed him a façade that he wanted. and with the months where he acted like a proper and perfect father who adores his daughter. you realized one thing and you couldn't help but to scoff as your hand traced the bandage around your neck. this guy, he finds you interesting for the first time— he finds the fact that his daughter almost killed herself, he finds the sight of his daughter half dead and bleeding— interesting.

it makes your stomach churn, it was disgusting— he is disgusting. you couldn't help but to wonder why in the are you so desperate to have his attention before? damn it.

but since this is what he wanted, you couldn't help but to think— why can't you give what he wanted? the sight of you dying and bleeding to death? and that's how your suicide attempts started. at first, it was simple such as poisoning yourself, drowning, etc. at first you used the methods where you were sure that it wouldn't hurt you that much.

and erno doesn't know why— he only spent few months acting like a proper father to you. but the sight of you unconscious in your bed was enough to make his hand shook. was it because of fear? why is he scared in the first place?

he spent a week trying to think about the reason. but then, while he was on the palace— he got a message from home saying that you jumped from the castle inside the etam estate. and now, he realized why the hell is he scared. hurrying to get back home, the only thing that erno has inside his mind was his daughter.

those times you tried to impress him, those times that you tried to get his attention, those times that you crave for his affection. and those times when he carried you as a newborn for the first time. erno realized that he fucked up— to the point that he couldn't do anything to change it anymore.

and after once he got home, he was welcomed by the sight of his daughter— sitting down on her bed with bandage around your head and those lifeless eyes of yours. erno felt as if he wanted to cry. and by the time he heard that you got amnesia because of what happened. erno was delighted— delighted by the fact that he was given another chance to fix your relationship. a chance to redeem his self.

but maybe, because of what he did before— no matter what he do. you became obsessed on dying. and your how do we quote it? "turning in new leaf" father got scared that you might succeed in doing that.

and that was the time he resorted onto something that he knew will affect your life, but he doesn't care. you have him, he will take care of you— you don't have to worry. your father got your back.

the only thing that you remembered before erno broke your legs and arms was the series of apologies that he whispered on your ear. and now, you become dependent to him just like what he wanted. don't worry, your father won't disappoint you this time.

“ i know it hurts, little cupcake. but this is what happens when you don't listen to father's requests!"

[bloodsuckingfiends]

Take Care of You

Summary: Tav's selflessness does not go unnoticed by Astarion, but so doesn't the way her selflessness is at the expense of her own well-being. He decides to take it into his own hands to take care of her... in more ways than one.

Pairing: Astarion x fem! Tav (reader)

Warnings: Tav overworks herself and neglects her own needs/selfcare, smut, fingering (Tav is AFAB), feminine pet names used, praise kink, I think that's it!

Word Count: 1.3k+

A/N: I have brainworms again and need to get this out sooooo enjoy?

Oftentimes, Astarion found that Tav tended to the needs of others, but very rarely to any needs of her own. He had witnessed Tav spend the last 3 days taking care of everyone, including himself in various ways that had her now looking, and surely feeling, absolutely exhausted. As he stood outside his tent, eyes scanning the camp setup before him, his gaze zeroed in on his Tav who was currently starting the fire, and helping to set up Gale’s various cooking tools and ingredients. A soft smile tugged at his lips just at the mere sight of her, before turning to a frown. As it was, Gale was away from camp, surely bathing off the day’s blood and grime along with their other companions, as Tav readied everything for their return. Her hair was crusted with blood, as was her armor, and her cheeks were streaked with dirt. Her eyes ringed with purple, tell tale signs of her exhaustion.

With a sigh, Astarion makes his way across camp, coming to stand beside Tav,

“Darling, I must say, you do look absolutely ravishing in red, but don’t you think it’s a good idea to get cleaned up?” She looks up at him with doe eyes, hands not stilling in their endeavor to help.

“Oh I don’t mind waiting. The others won’t be long, and besides, I just want to help set up for Gale. He’s always so kind as to make dinner for everyone, so this is me paying him back.”

Astarion manages to internalize his eye roll, and hold his tongue from pointing out that Tav has saved the wizard plenty of times in battle to make up for the meager stew that’s served nearly daily.

He places a hand on her shoulder, before pulling back and dusting the dried blood off his hand, “I just worry that you haven’t been taking care of yourself, is all.” a clear of his throat does well to cover the awkwardness he feels at saying such a vulnerable thing to her. 

“I’m alright Star, no need to worry.” She gives him a glance and a little smile.

“I don’t mean to be blunt darling, but you look positively dreadful and like you could use a nap. Please, let me take care of you.” Astarion huffs, frustrated at her stubbornness. Tav straightens up and turns, her eyes meeting his almost pleading ones, “Okay, I’ll let you take care of me.” Her voice comes out a quiet murmur. There was no denying him when he gave her that look.

The others arrive back to camp not long after Astarion gathers fresh clothes, a comb, and toiletries for Tav. He leads her to a secluded spot along the shore of a small lake they are camped by, before unbuckling and removing her heavy armor and underclothes, leaning forwards to press a kiss to her forehead as he does so. He strips himself of his own clothes, regardless of having bathed earlier that evening, taking Tav’s hand in his own and bringing her to the water. Astarion gets to work, lathering the soap between his hands, and gently scrubbing the filth from Tav’s body and face, a shiver running through her at his touch. He has her fully dip underwater, then begins to work the soap through the blood drenched strands of her hair, massaging at her scalp with his fingertips. Tav lets a moan slip past her lips.

“Does that feel good darling?” Astarion chuckles as he brings the soap down to the ends of her hair.

She mumbles an affirmative, her eyes flutter shut. 

“Alright, there we go. Just rinse this out for me, will you, love?” 

Tav dips back below the surface, thoroughly rinsing out her locks. When she resurfaces, Astarion can’t help but bite his lip at the sight. The water rolling down her neck, over her breasts as she pushes her hair away from her face. She looks like a painting, he thinks. 

The two dry off, and Tav dresses in the clothes that Astarion had brought along for her; a pair of loose trousers, and one of his ruffled night shirts she so loved to steal. Once in Astarion’s tent, the vampire sits, patting the space between his legs and motioning for Tav to take a seat. She obeys, and sits while he starts to comb her hair.

“How are you feeling, my dear?” he hums, fingers beginning to plait her hair.

“I’m okay. I guess I didn’t realize how tired I am.” Tav yawns, her hands mindlessly playing with a loose thread on his trousers.

“Tav, you really must take care of yourself. You put everyone, including myself, before you. It’s really no wonder you’re so exhausted.” he ties off the braid with a piece of leather. His arms come around to wrap over Tav’s chest, holding her against his own and pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.

“I just want to help everyone, and I guess I lose myself in the process.” a chill runs through her at the feel of his lips on her sensitive skin. 

“Darling, do you think you could try to lose yourself in me, just for a moment, hm?” his tongue flicks against the edge of  her jaw. 

She gasps in a breath, and stutters, “ye-yes, I think I could do that.” 

“Let me take care of you.” One hand whispers across her chest, lightly cupping one breast in it’s hold, before trailing down her stomach, and dancing along the waist of her trousers, “Let’’s take these off.”

Tav shimmies her pants over her hips and down her legs, toeing them off to the side. Astarion runs his hands down her naked thighs, hooking beneath them to lift them and rest them over the tops of his, successfully spreading her open for him. Her breath catches in her chest, the cool air hitting her already sensitive cunt.

“My my, look at you. You’re already positively dripping.” He dips his fingers below and runs his middle finger through her wet, swollen slit, opposite hand running up her ribcage, grasping at her breasts and teasing at her nipples. He toys at her entrance, teasing the tips of his fingers in  her before pushing slowly inside. Tav moans, her chest heaving slightly at the intrusion. 

“That’s it, such a good girl taking my fingers like this.” Astarion coos in her ear, nose pressed to her cheek. He begins to pump his digits in and out, crooking them just enough to rub at that spot that makes her mewl. 

“Just feel how good I’m making you feel, my love.” The pace of his fingers picks up, and his other hand pinches at one of her nipples. 

“St-Star, I’m close.” her head falls back against his shoulder, throat exposed for his mouth’s taking. Thighs shake against his as she nears her end. He sucks and licks at the flesh of her throat, fingers continuing their pace. The hand playing with her breasts, makes its way down to circle her swollen clit. Tav whines at the contact, hands grip at his forearms, grounding her to the moment. 

“That’s it, pet. Come for me. Come around my fingers, I want to feel it.” 

Her cunt spasms around him, thighs quaking and hips lifting to meet his movements. Moans fly past her lips, as she rides out her orgasm. Astarion slows his fingers as she comes down from her high, “Shh shh shh, there we go.” Tav looks back at him, a blissed out, glassy look to her eyes. “There you are, darling. How did that feel?” 

She tries to regulate her breathing, “So good.” she manages to reply.

He grabs a cloth, and cleans her up, then slips back on her underclothes and trousers. 

“Come here, my love.” He scoops her up and lays her down, her head upon his chest, as he pulls the bedroll and blankets around the two of them. 

“Thank you Star, for taking care of me.” Tav mumbles as she drifts off and gets the much needed rest that she deserves.

[ihasafandom]

"Asking for help is a good thing, and refusing to do so is neither a weakness in you nor a favor to those around you." I say to my mother, about her making cookies and cleaning up after, while I am on the fifth night of both my fitted sheet and my pillowcase forgoing their respective contents and instead favoring the floor.

[tvgirlie24]

Not Enough pt.1

You are a daughter of a professional footballer and you end following in your father's footsteps. Your new captain, Alexia, doesn't think that you deserve to be a part of Barça.

angst

Pursuing football as a career as a daughter of a very famous professional footballer was both the hardest and the easiest thing you have ever done. It opened up an insane amount of doors for you and made it easy for people to notice you. Top clubs knew who you were because they knew your father, but in exchange for that you did have to work twice as hard to prove that you were worth being where you were. And even then most people doubted you. Most of the time it felt like all the energy you saved up when you were young because people knew who you were, was now being wasted on having to prove to everyone that everything that you have ever achieved was well deserved and not just given to you because of your connections and your last name.

But you were used to it at this point. To all the hate, all the comments and all the people that were quick to criticize you the second you made even the smallest mistake and completely disregard any good performance you had because according to everyone you did not deserve any praise as everything was always handed to you on a silver plate. You heard all sorts of stuff about yourself, rarely anything good was ever said about you, but you just ignored it, you handle all the hate that was directed at you with your head held high. You were well aware of the fact that the road to becoming a successful footballer was much easier for you than for anyone else but nothing is ever black and white. 

You were always a hardworking person and knew that no one's opinion mattered except your own, your coaches and your captains. And while everyone was always kind of sceptical when it came to you whenever you transferred to a new club, in the end, the team and coaching staff always warmed up to you and noticed how hard you worked. You held yourself to an impossibly high standard, and always strived for perfection. This was easy to notice and made your transitions to new clubs easier every time. 

That's how it always worked. You knew the hardships that your last name brought into your life and you learned how to deal with it. You just had to do your best and show everyone that you were worth being where you were. And in the end it always worked. Even if you were slowly destroying yourself, even if you overworked yourself so much that you made yourself sick. You didn't care. All you wanted to do was play football. You couldn't change your public image but you always managed to show everyone that mattered that your last name didn't define you as a person or your career.

All of that changed the moment Barcelona decided to sign you. While the coaching staff and the team was a little warier of you and a bit harsher than you were used to, it all settled down after a couple of weeks, quickly becoming a well liked person within the squad. 

That wasn't the case with your captain though. Alexia Putellas. The football superstar herself. She watched you like a hawk, constantly breathing down your neck, and making it known that no matter what you did she never considered it enough. It made sense really, she was also an incredibly hardworking person, she expected perfection from herself as well as her teammates. So even if every single training with her left you so exhausted that you thought your legs were going to give out from underneath you, you pushed through. Alexia was someone you always deeply admired and you wanted to prove yourself to her. You wanted her to like you but that didn't seem to be the case. She terrified you, with her stern look, with her constant shouts to do better. No one criticized you more than Alexia. To be fair, she was like that with everyone, but no one could miss that her scolding became harsher whenever it was directed at you. 

For a while you thought that you were just overthinking the whole situation. That maybe Alexia was just trying to give you a push to make you better. That her cold looks in the locker room and murmured unhappy greetings in the morning were just because she was a very closed off and private person. But then you saw her with your teammates. Sure, out on the pitch she was fierce and focused, even scary at times, but she was quick to comfort the younger players whenever something happened or hug the teammates she's played with for years. And the idea that maybe you were just overthinking the whole thing was starting to seem less and less probable. 

And then you were completely proven wrong when you were leaving the training grounds one day after another gruesome training. You would be the first to admit that your performance today was less than good, not even satisfactory really. Your passes weren't connecting at all and you missed every single shot you decided to take. No matter what you did, today just wasn't your day. You were frustrated with yourself, beating yourself up over it greatly, but everyone was quick to reassure you that it's impossible to be perfect every single day, that it is normal to make mistakes, to have an off day. Everyone except Alexia of course. 

It would be an understatement to say that she wasn't happy with you today. Not that she ever was really, but you could tell that today she was really holding herself back from screaming into your face about how incompetent you were. What she failed to realize was the fact that her constant criticizing  was making you insecure, always doubting if your next move would be a good choice. The other girls tried to get her to ease up a bit, noticing that you were starting to lose your composure. While you appreciated their efforts to help you, you knew there was no way around it. You just had to suffer through and hope that tomorrow would be a better day. 

You were in your own thoughts when you were leaving, not really noticing people around you, but just as you were about to turn in the direction of the exit you heard shouting from down the hall. Quickly recognizing that one, definitely more angered, voice belonged to Alexia. You didn't mean to eavesdrop but when you heard your name, you couldn't help but be intrigued. 

And so you moved towards the voices, well aware of the fact that you could regret your decision but not being able to stop yourself. You had an inkling of what you were going to hear, and you knew it was probably not going to be anything pretty. As you got closer you recognized the other voice, which surprisingly, belonged to Ingrid.

"Alexia, I just can't understand why you're being so hard on her. She hasn't done anything wrong!" Exclaimed Ingrid, and that fact alone left you totally speechless. While she was never directly mean to you, she never really interacted with you either. Out of all people you didn't expect Ingrid to be the one to stand up for you. Especially to Alexia, who to no one's surprise, was less than happy with Ingrid's opinion.

"I just think it was a mistake to sign her! She shouldn't be here, yet she gets anything she wants because of her dad. Don't blame me for being the one to actually make her work for what she gets, because clearly no one else is going to do it!" The disdain in which she spoke about you was honestly shocking. It wasn't a secret that Alexia had her reservations about you, it's not like she was trying to hide it, but you didn't think that she actually hated you this much.

It stung a little, you have been working your ass off these past few weeks, more than ever before and to hear that she still felt so much hatred towards you despite all your efforts was just insulting at this point. You could score the winner in the Champion's league final and she would still probably think that you're not good enough.

"But Ale all you do is yell in her face all the time! She does work, she's doing a good job, how can you just completely disregard that?" You could tell that Ingrid was desperately trying to say something that would make Alexia take it a bit easier on you, but all her efforts were pointless. You considered intervening, if not for yourself then for Ingrid, you didn't want her wasting her energy on trying to fix something that wasn't fixable anyway. Even though you appreciated it, it was a lost cause.

"Good is not enough! Definitely not for her! She can't just waltz in here and expect that her "good" is going to suffice! She doesn't deserve to be here and if you none of you see that then you're all blind! Her being here is a downgrade for Barça. She's not Barça and never will be. You don't get to be angry with me for being the only one to say the truth out loud." 

And that was it. Your breaking point. You turned around and left as fast as you could. Hoping that you could get safely into your car without seeing anyone, because the last thing you wanted to do was explain to someone why there were tears streaming down your face or why you were shaking so hard that you could barely walk. And it seemed that, for once, luck was in your favor as you didn't run into anyone.

You didn't even register how you got into your car or your apartment. The whole ride back home pretty hazy given your distress and once you made it through your front door you made a beeline for your bed. Completely forgoing lunch in favor of curling up under the covers and just letting everything out. You stayed there for the majority of the day only getting out to take a much needed shower that you hoped would help you relax but no such luck. Every single time you managed to distract yourself, another ugly thought would enter your mind and you would be back at the start. You were pretty insecure to begin with but now the insecurities had Alexia's voice, reminding you that you were, in fact, not enough. And every time you started to feel a bit better you would remember all the things that Alexia said to you or about you for that matter, because apparently she was not above going behind your back and talking shit about you. 

It was hard to understand why her words affected you so much, you have heard many stuff like that before, it's not like it was new. And it was definitely not the worst thing you've ever heard about yourself. It was the fact that Alexia said those things. She was someone you once admired, both for her skills and determination, she was a role model for not only little girls worldwide but also for fellow footballers. She was what everyone wanted to be and she was the one you wanted to impress the most. To hear that you have not only failed in that regard but that she  even believes the team would be better off without you was outwardly painful.

You didn't know what else you could do to make Alexia realise that you were trying your absolute hardest, that you didn't think you would get anything you wanted without working for it first. But you also felt insulted, who was she to make these assumptions? She didn't know you, didn't even make the effort to get to know you. Completely distancing herself away from you the second you joined the team. And for her to say that you get anything you want because of your dad? Yeah, that was just completely disrespectful. At this point you weren't even sure if you wanted to prove yourself to her, but the last thing you wanted was for her to take away your determination from you.

So this new found anger spurred something else inside of you. A desire to work even harder. To get on that pitch and show her that you were dedicated to this team. And even though you fell asleep with tears running down your face, which you felt rather pathetic for, you were determined to not give up. You knew tomorrow would be a better day because you would do everything in your power to make it one and not let Alexia ruin it for you once again. 

-----------------------------------------------------

When you walked in the next morning you tried to act confident but you were overwhelmingly anxious. You felt as if the walls were closing in on you while you were changing in the dressing room but you hoped that once would get out on the pitch it would get easier to breath, but that was not the case. The drive and desire from yesterday were still there but it was hard to focus on anything else when your fears were completely taking over you but you didn't let that stop you. 

You hardly slept last night, waking up multiple times  despite you best efforts to try and get some rest. You finally gave up around 5 in the morning, realizing that no matter what you did you were to anxious to relax and go to sleep. But your lack of rest also cause you to completely avoid breakfast, feeling much to nauseous and scared you would end up throwing up anything you ate anyway. You knew it was stupid and irresponsible, you were a professional athlete, you needed food to function but your anxiety meant all rational thinking was out the window. All you could feel was fear, but you were used to it at this point. Trainings were never a pleasant experience for you, no one ever made it manageable for you. So with the lack of sleep, water and food it was no surprise you did not feel well, but at this point you couldn't care less. No one ever cared, why should you?

Alexia certainly did not care, you could see that clearly. She worked you into the ground, and it seemed as though she was aware of it. But she did not accept tired, especially from you, so she kept yelling. Constantly yelling at you during warm up, gym and drills, criticizing and ordering you to go over the same stuff twice or thrice and to run extra laps because apparently you weren't putting in the same effort as everyone else. How she made that assumption was beyond you but you didn't dare to question her. Especially with here current mood which was grumpy to say the least.

It was during the match at the end of the training that you started to feel really faint. Your vision blurrier every passing second but you were certainly not going to ask for a break, positive you wouldn't even be allowed to take one but you also didn't want to give Alexia another thing to scold you for. You did everything right , at least you thought you did, many older girls passed by you during training, telling you that you were doing a good job, so why couldn't Alexia see that? Was her hatred for you so strong that she couldn't accept whenever you did something good?

All of sudden the dizziness got a lot worse and despite your best efforts you had to stop. You stood on the side with your hands on your knees and tried to breathe through the dizziness. You couldn't really tell what was going on around you, except for Alexia's scream to move and someone's hand on your shoulder asking if you're feeling okay. You didn't have it in you to answer but you wanted to keep playing anyway but as you were about to take a step to get back into your position your vision completely blurred and your knees buckled sending you into the ground. 

You didn't pass out right away, slightly aware of your surroundings although everything was too confusing for you to register. You heard some screams and someone's hands grabbing your shoulders, shaking you and lightly tapping your cheek. Then someone yelling for the medics, your feet being lifted into the air and a cool cloth drenched in water being placed over your forehead. It was overwhelming and you wanted to open your eyes to tell everyone to go away but the second you did you were met with so much light that it forced you to close your eyes again, barely catching sight of Ingrid standing over you. 

What you didn't see was Alexia standing on the side too, not too close and not too far, just close enough to see what was going on. Guilt quickly taking over her as she realized how unwell you looked and how she, the captain, the one that was supposed to be there for the team, was responsible for you passed out on the ground, completely unresponsive at this point. To be fair this probably wouldn't have happened if you were properly rested and ate something but Alexia didn't know that. All she knew was that she was horribly overworking you the entire session and now you were passed out, all because of her and every single thought in her head that has justified her behavior towards you was completely gone, instead replaced with intense feeling of shame for not noticing that you weren't doing well and instead believed you were just slacking off. And suddenly if she could take all that she has said and done in the past couple of weeks she would have done it in a heartbeat. Sure she did not really like you, she still thought you were privileged but it was never her intention to cause you any harm, not like this especially. 

You heard someone ask you more questions, if you ate, if you had something to drink but the headache was too much and you were so tired that staying awake seemed like an impossible task at this point and so even though everyone kept telling you to stay awake you decided to just finally let yourself rest for once.

__________________________________________

uhh I don't really like this? definitely needs some editing but I hope you liked it anyway, more parts to come! :)