#and diarreah

[c4p7ch4]

One-Shot: Basta (Inkheart) x OC

welp, reading the latest Basta content on here made my mind go down a spiral I couldn't escape and I had to write this idea down, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to find peace, enjoy!

Warning: might be out of character, it's the middle of the night and I can't think straight, also: English is not my first language

24th of December. It was Zeras first Christmas Eve in Capricorns Village. Not that it mattered, if she hadn't bribed one of the boys to bring her back a newspaper from the nearby village, she would have missed it's passing anyways. In Capricorns Village, the feeling of time got completely lost and neither capricorn nor his men ever celebrated any holidays.

Sometimes they celebrated for no reason at all, using the opportunity as an excuse to get drunk 'til unconciousness. Some blackjackets would celebrate their birthdays, but most times they partied to celebrate a triumph, like the subjugation of another village or the torching of the house of a rebellious farmer who didn't want to pay his tribute.

Zera hated these occasions, her position of the villages doctor obligated her to take care of any drunkards that were stupid and aggressive enough to start a fight with each other and get hurt.

But tonight promised to be calm. The days got dark early and made most of the men too tired and slothful to stay awake for too long.

Basta was the exception. Sometimes it seemed that he didn't sleep at all. Zera would see him aimlessly strolling in the streets at ungodly times, times when she would stare out of the window of her prison cell in the kitchen of Capricorns mansion, waiting for the night to pass or for sleep to take her.

In the end, Bastas restlessness got the best of him and he got the flu. Either his immune system was terribly weak or he was a terrible cry baby, but 2 days ago he showed up at Zeras doorstep and asked for medical advice.

He could barely stand (or maybe pretended to be this weak, but his red swollen eyes and runny nose and hoarse voice were proof enough for Zera not to send him away) and Zera put him to bed in one of the spare sleeping quarters next to the kitchen. She's been nursing him since then, bringing him his food and medicine to bed, sometimes a hot tea which he'd only drink with lots of sugar, otherwise he wouldn't be able to "gulp down this terrible potion of yours", other times she'd bring a wet cloth to clean himself- he sweated a lot because of the fever, but he refused to take off his shirt. Zera wouldn't argue, if he wanted to postpone his recovery this badly, so be it, she didn't have the time nor the energy to start a meaningless discussion.

Zera was shocked about herself when she realised that she liked seeing Basta suffer- it was only a portion of the suffering he put other people through. She was even more shocked when she realised, that she almost liked him for company in this state: too weak to seem a threat, too drought to be angry and irritable for too long. It was almost possible to have a somewhat normal conversation with him.

This night, they were talking about holidays. Or more: Zera was interrogating Basta about the holidays they'd celebrate in the inkworld. She hated that he came from such an interesting and enchanting world- it was too much fun, to have him talk about his fantastical home, to keep away from him and alienate him for the horrible person he is. It was such a welcome change to all the restless nights she spent alone, sitting in the dark shadows of her prison.

After sometime, Zera asked:

"What about birthdays? Do you celebrate the day you were born or the day you were christened?"

"The day we were what? No, those that do celebrate, celebrate on the day they were named by their parents." Basta said confused, then added after thinking for a moment: "Which happens for most people to be the day they were born."

Basta raised his cup of tea to his mouth, still full to the brim but no longer hot, when Zera asked another question and made him lower his cup again to answer.

"And when is your birthday? I've been here for a year now, but I've never seen you be celebrated. I imagined, Capricorns first in command would throw himself quite a feast, getting drunk with all his friends, beating each other up for fun and get even more drunk to make up for the bruises" Zera teased and expected a smug look to turn up on his face. His expression turned empty instead and he lowered his look to his cup.

"I never celebrated my birthday. I don't even know what day it is" he muttered.

"You don't know the day you were born?" Zera asked amused, but her smile vanished when she saw the grim look on Bastas face.

"Can't you shut up for a moment and let me drink this awful brew of yours in peace? It's not even warm anymore, that's how long you've been talking all over my ears!" he snapped at her.

Stunned, Zera watched him for a moment, not knowing what to say. 'Well, seems like he is healthy enough to be himself again.' She thought to herself.

Without another word she stood up from the chair, she was sitting on, next to Bastas bed, and left for the kitchen, closing the door behind her.

She wanted to be angry at Basta for being rude, but she couldn't help but think about what he just told her.

He never celebrated his birthday, and he doesn't even know the date. That means, no one ever celebrated with him. Not even his parents? Not even his friends?

Thinking about it, Zera wondered if he even had friends. She concluded, that he didn't have any. He was too much of an irritable person to be around and the men, even though they made fun of him behind his back, feared him and his knife and his uncontrollable anger and short temper.

Zera strolled through the empty kitchen, a ray of moonlight, that cut through the window, drew her attention to some abandoned cooking utensils.

Damn you Basta, I'm not gonna celebrate my christmas sad and hungry.

After scavenging the kitchen, Zera decided to make herself something sweet, a little treat to have a small portion of her freedom back. While preparing the oven and mixing together a dough of flour and cocoa, her thoughts wandered back to Basta.

She wanted to be angry at him, but Christmas wasn't the time to be angry, was it?

An awful, awful idea crept up in Zeras mind. She tried to surpress it, but after she finished mixing the dough, she thought to herself 'Screw it' and went ahead with her plan.

When she was finished, she hesitated, waiting in front of the door to the room Basta was in, wondering if she should screw this plan after all.

Maybe he was already asleep anyways. And heaven only knows what happens, if I wake him up for something as stupid as this-

Before Zera could finish her train of thought, the door before her fell open and Basta crashed into her, not expecting for her to stand right outside the door.

The little candle, that sticked out of the small chocolate cake she held in hands, almost caught onto Bastas shirt. He took a few steps back and frantically searched his sleeves for any signs of catching fire.

"The hell?! What were you doing?"

Zera didn't know what to answer.

'Oh, I don't know, I just felt sympathy for your sad backstory of never having a birthday celebrated in your life and thought, honoring the spirit of christmas, we could celebrate it now to make up for all those lost years'

Instead of answering verbally, she held up the cake to Bastas face.

He took a step back with a fearful expression. Fear turned to irritation and he asked:

"What's that?"

"A cake"

"Yeah, no shit? I meant, what's it for? And why did you put a candle in it?"

"It's your birthdaycake. Birthdaycakes have candles for you to blow out and make a wish."

Basta looked confused, then irritated again.

"But, it's not even my birthday"

"We don't know. You said you didn't know when your birthday is. Maybe it is today"

Basta still looked suspicious and confused. And Zera grew more and more embarassed. She couldn't look him im the eyes and after a while of both of them just standing in the doorway, she asked irritated:

"Well, you want it or what? I don't plan on standing here all night! Now go and get a fork- if you make a mess, I'm not gonna clean it up!"

Zera regrettet her words as soon as they left her mouth. Did she really just give Basta a command? Basta doesn't take commands!

She braced herself for his wrath, but it didn't come. Instead, he strolled past her to the kitchen and did as she bid. Now he was the one who was too stunned to speak.

Zera breathed heavily and went back to her chair. Basta came back, settled down on the bed and hesitated to take the cake from her.

"What about you?" he asked.

"I don't want any, it's yours."

He eyed her suspiciously.

"Are you trying to poison me?"

"I wouldn't waste the cocoa. Now take it, it's chocolate"

Basta took the plate, wary of the burning candle, and set it down in his lap, looking down at it, contemplating for a moment. Then he went on to take the still burning candle out. Zera held him back before he took it out.

"Don't! You have to make a wish and blow it out first!"

He looked at her confused, not at her face but on the small hand that held down his.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well...because it's tradition" she said and drew back her hand.

Basta sighed annoyed, but raised the plate to his mouth.

"If you insist..." he mumbled and thought for a moment, then went on "I wish for-"

"Stop!" Zera interrupted again and Basta looked up at her, more stunned than annoyed.

''You mustn't say your wish out loud! Otherwise it won't work!"

Zera has never been superstitious and thought it childish herself to insist on these vanities, but if this was Bastas first birthday-celebration, it was to be done properly.

"Any other instructions you have for me or can we get this over with?" Basta asked, Zera noticed that his face was flushed, but blamed it on the fever.

"You have to close your eyes when you make your wish"

Basta rolled his eyes, annoyed, but went ahead with it and for a moment, his face was fully relaxed.

It was almost mesmerizing to see him like this- at peace, almost a dreamy expression.

Then he blew out the candle, Zera took the candle and gestured Basta to start eating while she went to put the candle away. It took her a while to get back to him, she needed some time to calm down from a weird stomach ache that suddenly occured. Maybe she was getting sick too.

By the time she came back, he had fully finished his plate. She took it away and without another word spoken, they both got ready for bed.

When they both settled down for the night- Basta in bed and Zera slouched over the chair, feet leaning on the feets end of Bastas bed, just like the previous nights, Zera asked him:

"What did you wish for?"

"I thought, I wasn't supposed to tell. You said it wouldn't work if I did"

"Screw that, it doesn't work anyways. Now tell me."

"Why?"

"Because I want to know"

"I'm not going to tell you"

"Well, then I'm just gonna mess with you until you do"

Zera kicked Bastas feet.

"Come on, tell me"

She kicked again.

"What did you wish for?"

"Would you please let me sleep?" Basta snapped.

"Let me think... no. First you have to tell me what you wished for."

As an answer, Basta threw a pillow at her, throwing her off balance and knocking her off the chair. Zera fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"Serves you right" Basta growled and turned his back to her.

"Fine, then don't tell me" Zera said defeated and sat back on her unconfortable chair.

"A kiss" Basta said after a while into the dark, he wasn't even sure, if Zera was still awake.

"What?" she asked fully awake.

"My wish. I wished for a kiss"

"That's it? Pretty basic, why wish for a kiss?" Zera dared to ask.

"I don't know." Basta replied.

After a while he added: "I want to know what it feels like"

Zera didn't reply. It sounded like she was asleep.

She wasn't.

She waited a while, maybe an hour or two, and when it sounded like Basta was asleep, she quietly got up, searched for his face in the dark and lighlty pressed her lips to his. Then she settled back down on her chair and went back to sleep.

Basta did not.

[zooophagous]

I don't understand dog people who hate cats because they think cats will piss and shit all over the house and make it smell bad because honestly having lived with both animals dogs are 1000000% more likely to piss and shit everywhere and make your house reek of excrement constantly

[gurn]

[lanlambsworld]

Yall DO NOT drink dr pepper float.

I am currently shitting bricks 2 minutes after i drank half .

[all-doggirls-go-to-heaven-2]

I feel like more people should realize that drag queens are more akin to clowning than the experience of being a living breathing woman in the real world so they instantly bring up drag to every transfem they know

It would be like if you said you played video games and someone went like "OMGGGGG you sound JUST like the Angry Video Games Nerd. Diarreah, queen!" and if you complained abt it you're "being a dick to the most popular form of gamer expression"

[textmel8r]

Can u do a smau where reader was having cramps whilst they were away, turns out they had diarreah and shit themselves and it soaked onto the mattress and they send a pic to them? Thanks x i thought it would be wholesome lol

have i not done this one already?? i swear ive written for this prompt before, maybe go check my masterlist again?💜 thanks for the request!

[thatoneghostcosplayer]

can you overdose on dino nuggets

how many dino nuggets can you eat before you die

how to murder someone with dino nuggets

....I'm not Google buut...Yes you can, my personal record Is 200 nuggets (before diarreah) and you can't murder someone with Dino nuggets

[unnervinglyferal]

Just FYI, the pill works 93% of the time if you take it both consistently and *exactly* as prescribed. That means so long as you take it consistently long-term (and not just immediately before you’re gonna have sex, doing that is worse than useless), have no missed days, no vomiting or diarreah for a good few hours after you take it, you’re not eating anything that might randomly affect it, and your body doesn’t decide to just fuck with what it absorbs or how much it absorbs of the pill from your GI tract at any given point, it’ll work.

Most folk don’t, and can’t, take the pill strictly or reliably enough to hit anywhere near that 93% safety rate, which is why any competent healthcare provider will tell you: use condoms as well. BC methods like the coil and the implant are generally more reliable because you don’t need to consistently remember to take the damn pill on time and you can’t vomit them up after forgetting you’ve taken one and need it (as you might be able to tell, I’m speaking from experience here), but they’re not an option for everyone depending on your overall health profile etc.

Yeah we're thinking about an IUD or something like that. Also just being postpartum apparently fucks with your hormones a lot, so that might not work. Guess we'll really have to use condoms too until the dangerous time is over next time.

[kittydragondraws]

well that happened, tadc reaction

stuffs under cut

yipee ads :D sick beats yoo new intro yipee silly pommi silly symbols is it just me or did things get… golder nauseating i think this is a dream, soo sobble oh my god this hurts to watch i don't like thit "i don't wanna play with you anymore" toy story vibes oof collission errors at their finest best girl raggy is it just me or did she get deeper?? man it's so much better watching yt on a laptop then phone "judging by what he's been teasing" FOURTH WALL BREAK canadaland BUBBLE!! local intorvert what's with the block? LARPing :,D he's so me frfr of he's smoking GUNNY ELEPPHANT MY FAVORITE THIIIING shiny manrqquiens kinda nice ngl awww kinger :D it's giving mario movie tbh "GOD" I'M CRYING AHAHAHAHHA ooooh amazing digital yuri she just like me frfr loloo kinda sweet i looove jax ha :D pomni is me jax is so slayful wacky sound effects i'ts only been thrity seconds but i love her already this si adorable WAIT SAD BACKSTORY GUMMIGOO jax has those n genes jesus christ bunny boy i swear i've seen that joke before babootka little arms georg gummigoo is precious jax is actually horrible kuh-nife jax is a masochist lesbian gangle real OH GOD NO RAGGY girly got inverted hot chokky, or diarreah i love colission errors NOO GUMMY COME BACK POOR GUMMY SAAAAVVVEEE HIIIIIIM that's not terrifying at all it's giving n learning he's a clone vibes exstestential horror yippee :D POMMY SAVE THE DINESAW you're in out of bounds dumass POOOR GUUUY NOOOO NAW WAAAAAAA D: data in a computer WAIT THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH THAT REFERENCE wow i hate this, i haaaaaate this jesus fuck my man she wouldn't last a day on copper 9 the keys come back i legit throught that was a nuke oreo wheels he's busy being emo i love his voice NO GUMMIGOO YOU'LL LIVE ON ON TURMBLR oh shit pomni therapy it's giving cabin fever oh i'm sad now YEES POMNI LET HIM COME WITH YOU CAINE WON'T MIND HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH (hyperfixating) his legs are so frucking weird bruh like yourself you worked at C&A i love him yipeeeeee colission glitches are best glitches fudge is nauseating nd i hate him md fans before a new ep: kinger why is your head in a bucket RAGATHA NO IT'S FINE SHE'S JUST IN THE ETHER kinger admin headcanon HE JUST DIED THEY MURDERED A GUY is there like a one vomit per episode requirement or sumting AWWW HE'S BEEEEST YEESSSSS GUMMIGOO GO SAVE YOUR MOMMA are they dancing? are those cahsews on the front? EVERYONE IS DEAD oh… my… god CAINE I HATE YOU CAINE CAINE CAINE I HATE YOU were her teeth clipping? ptsd flashbacks lol RAGATHA FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING GOOD PLEASE BE RIGHT oddly wholesome awww don't make me sad NO DIALOGUE? GOOSE YOU COWARD! awwwww wait noooooo this iiiissss sweeeeet I WANNA GUMMIGOOOO PLUSHIE jax looking pretty neat ngl

[drag0nscale]

i did a voiceover on objectified with my friend , i giggled or waz on the toilet the whole time . diarreah zuckz.

[gaystuffgarbage]

The actual reality of drinking alcohol excessively or alcohol addiction in general:

You only think about the cost of it money and health wise and no matter how bad you feel you just keep doing it anyway. Even if you are 100% sober you will have constant anxiety/quilt/nausea and especially diarreah. You will shit yourself if you are not careful in public. (Aka you'll avoid eating and feel even weaker and more miserable all day every day.) You will also gain weight and not in the reasonable, healthy way. You'll look bloated, tired and sick. It won't boost your creativity and it will make you too passive. Most likely you'll do anything that's easier than alcohol or even mix other stuff together and that's a very dangerous path to be on.

There is no dramatic, poetic or cool way about it. Don't do it. It might be fun for a week or two but after like years it will catch up to you. You live in a bubble and can't really even remember to enjoy the whole experience so what's the point? It's nothing more than stupid self destructive behavior and it will leave you feeling stupid afterwards too.

[chandajaan]

didn’t taylor swift make a whole documentary about how she regretted her silence during the 2016 presidential election and how it was important to use her platform LMFAO

So she made a cash grab doco after the fact? Good for her, hope she has explosive diarreah

[randybutternubber]

ONE PERCENT MY LAST MESSAGE TO THE WORLD AWFUL DIARREAH FO NOY FORGET ME

[theehorsepusssy]

Dear HP: I ate jalapeño poppers and got explosive diarreah on a friday night, any remedy for that?

[tiredmilkshake]

diarreah vampires

@www-pinkhearse

[skinmin90]

Back and I'm at 53kg/ 118lb rn doing great and feeling much better !this month I'm definitely reaching 50kg /110lb no matter what . Idk why but I'm having trouble with my poop it looks like diarreah lol💀other than that I love my scale and I saw one of my frnd showing some signs of ed (she is gorgeous )she didn't ate her pasta like 1 and half bites and when nb is looking she closed the lunchbox and put it in her bag(fyi there was so many times i saw her skipping meals or giving it to other ppl ).i noticed it while munching on a bun which made myself gross of how much of a big fatty I am .OFF TOPIC PRETTY PRIVILEDGE IS REAL !!!!!