#and extra toilet paper

[lanlambsworld]

Yall DO NOT drink dr pepper float.

I am currently shitting bricks 2 minutes after i drank half .

[softpine]

i like how we all collectively agreed that covid does not exist in any of our sims stories

[hood-ex]

My dad was Bruce-ing again today.

Dad: Where are your keys? I'm gonna go put more air in your tire.

Me: I already filled it up this week.

Dad: Oh okay.

Dad goes upstairs for a second and comes back with a bag in his hand.

Dad: Here, take this poncho and put it in your glove compartment. In case you have to pull over in the rain, put it on so other cars can see you.

So then I took my new bright ass orange poncho to my car, bypassing the three water bottles my dad had stuffed in the door pocket as well as the emergency phone battery pack charger he stuffed in another pocket.

[toptierestates]

Spacious 6 Bed House near Airport, Pet-Friendly, Close to AFB

Situated in San Antonio, 22 km from Frost Bank Center and 22 km from San Antonio Spurs, Spacious 6 Bed House near Airport, Pet-Friendly, Close to AFB features air-conditioned accommodation with a balcony and free WiFi. It is set 26 km from Ripleys Believe It Or Not Museum and provides luggage storage space. The property is non-smoking and is located 26 km from The Alamo. The spacious holiday home has 6 bedrooms, a TV, a fully equipped kitchen with a dishwasher and an oven, a washing machine, and 2 bathrooms with a bath. For added privacy, the accommodation features a private entrance. You can play billiards at the holiday home. Alamodome is 26 km from Spacious 6 Bed House near Airport, Pet-Friendly, Close to AFB, while Henry B Gonzalez Convention Center is 27 km from the property. San Antonio International Airport is 11 km away.

[tardis--dreams]

There's silverfish in this apartment so the only chance for my body to get some rest would be collapsing from exhaustion otherwise i will not sleep for a While

[apelcini]

i love landlords because they will act like it’s your fault the toilet is so clogged that a plumber has to be called because you’ve been, uh.. flushing your toilet paper instead of throwing it in the bathroom trash can? this is not an exaggeration or a hypothetical but man i wish it was.

[bewilderedbuckley]

Someone tell me to get up and get toilet paper from the basement

[kkelenca]

I have a box filled with packaged toothbrushes and mini travel/sample toothpastes for emergencies because:

1) friend in high school had a dental hygienist mom and gave me shitloads of samples once. The Guest Box™️ (technically it began as two boxes, because the toothpaste was an entire box of samples that my spouse worked through for years to help reduce how absurd it was.)

2) I use an electric toothbrush but am given a new one at every dentist visit. As is my spouse. And my child. (Who also has little battery-powered kids electrics they like). My hygienist knows this, but she is kind and wants us to always be prepared in case something breaks. And I think by now I’ve told her the tale of The Guest Box™️ but I’m old and don’t remember tbh.

3) I am also given new little minty toothpaste samples with every visit. I am too sensitive to the mint taste and anything that isn’t orange/lemon/strawberry.

4) Sometimes the dentist has awesome berry flavored floss samples, often they do not. Anything not berry or unflavored goes into The Guest Box™️

5) Once The Guest Box™️ became a thing, it was just natural to drop random travel or sample items into it whenever they came into my possession. Like a magpie. Or a very loving raccoon.

I cannot assume to speak for anyone else, but my personal brand of doing good chaotically includes this kind of preparedness so that I can be ready for any sort of Friend! Needs! Help! emergency 😅

And probably some of that magpie tendency thing.

What is it about fics then, where characters always, ALWAYS, have a spare toothbrush conveniently just hanging about in bathroom cupboards for that time someone is, usually unexpectedly, staying the night?

I have lived a few decades now, and I have never known anyone who keeps spare toothbrushes. Is it really common??

[ghosteamanita]

today's testosterone shot bandaid is: magikarp

[littlefoxwithbighat]

.

[forgottenthunder]

“We are all of us stardust”

What a difficult concept that is to grasp. This post itself is stardust, written by stardust, sitting on stardust. Astronomy, the study of stars could be considered a very confusing yet long awaited family reunion between us and our celestial cousins. Once you understand that then it’s not too hard to understand that perhaps we are “the universe experiencing itself”.

And truly what an experience it is.

[badjokesbyjeff]

Cat Food

I heard this from my genius nine-year-old grandson. No idea where he got it from, but I had never heard it before.

An old lady is shopping in a supermarket. She comes up to the cashier with six cans of cat food. "I'm sorry," says the cashier, "I can't sell you cat food unless you can prove to me that you own a cat."

"Why?" says the old lady.

"Our manager heard that old people are buying cat food and eating it themselves, and he finds that unacceptable."

"That's ridiculous, I have to make an extra trip?" says the old lady. But sha goes home and gets her cat, brings it back to the store, and they sell her the cat food.

A few days later she comes back to the store and comes up to the cashier with a big box of dog biscuits. 

"I'm sorry, I can't sell you those unless you prove to me that you have a dog."

"Ridiculous, I have to make an extra trip again?" But she goes home and gets her dog, brings it back to the store, and they sell her the dog biscuits.

A few days later the old lady comes back to the store carrying a small box, and approaches the same cashier.

"What's in the box?" the cashier asks.

"Stick your finger in this hole and find out."

"Oh no, you've got a snake or something that will bite me or scratch me in there!"

"No, there's nothing alive in it," says the old lady.

So the cashier sticks a finger in the hole, feels something soft, takes the finger out and says "Ew! That smells like poo!"

"It is poo!" says the old lady. "Now can I buy some toilet paper?"

[razrbladekiss]

MAPLE HAZEL | Joel Miller

SUMMARY: he’s grumpy, and you’ve got enough happiness for the pair of you. you visit joel’s little coffee shop every morning, and he can’t deny that he enjoys the monotony of life with you the other side of his counter.

PAIRING: pre-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: inspired by lorelai gilmore and luke danes, so with that info do what you will. this is full on golden retriever x black cat realness. fluffy. banter-y. dialogue-y. joel is grumpy but he’s sexy so we don’t mind. enjoy, my besties. not sure if i’ll do a part two, but i’ll let you know in due time, of course.🍁🫶🏻

SERIES MASTERLIST

It’s like he’s moving from muscle memory. Putting down a cinnamon roll and maple hazel latte—with two extra shots of espresso—in front of the third purple stool at his counter, is almost ingrained into his brain. He wonders if one day you’ll ever take him by surprise and order pancakes, or a chai tea.

And you will. Just not today.

“Cinnamon roll, please!” You call from the door as you bumble over the threshold, fighting with the belt loop on your coat that’s gotten stuck on a brassy handle for the third time this morning.

“Already one step ahead of ‘ya.” Joel gestures to the breakfast spread at the wooden bar, and you smile.

Despite being a closed-off, stupid-person-hating, placid-at-times, grumpy old man, you can’t help admitting that you enjoy Joel’s company and general presence in your life.

His shop appeared on Birch Grove one sunny Saturday morning about three years ago, and you haven’t skipped a day since. Aside from Christmas Day, you have religiously sat at Joel’s counter and shared the trials and tribulations of life in Dallas as an overzealous twenty-something every single day.

He’s a great listener. Or, at least, you think that he is. He never interrupts you, or speaks over you. Joel always lends an ear to listen, even if he doesn’t always say all that much in response to whatever it is that you’re elucidating or complaining about.

“Thank you.” Breathlessly, you say. You take a seat and dump your purse onto the counter. “Got a busy day today. I’ve got a meeting, and I’m meeting Maria for lunch, and I’ve got a date—“

Joel’s face heats up. He turns to face you, striving to stay indifferent.

“A date?” Nonchalant, he asks. He slings a dish-cloth over his shoulder, and lifts a brow. “Does this man know that he’s going on a date with you?”

You make a face while stuffing a fork-full of pastry into your mouth. He’s so smug. With his stupid flannel and stupid little hat, you just want to rip the complacency from his lips. But he’s a good man. Just likes to try and take you down a few pegs.

But he can’t. Because you’re stubborn. And a little annoying.

“No, I just thought that I’d show up at his house in the middle of the night—because I’ve followed him home from work a few times and know where he lives—and rip him right out of his bed just like the troll that Danny Devito plays in Its Always Sunny.”

Joel let’s out a little laugh, not bothering to argue that what you had just told him didn’t actually happen in that episode, but finding it funny nonetheless.

He nods his head to you. “What’s his name?”

“Marcus.” Exaggerating your heart-eyed gaze, you tell him. “I met him at Costco—“

“Ah, Costco. Where every great love story starts. First you’re bulk-buying toilet paper, the next you’re sharing a dollar fifty hot dog—“

“Ha ha, Joel, you’re soooo funny.”

“I try.” He says, flippant, pouring coffee into another customer’s cup when they appear at the counter for a refill. He lifts the carafe and gestures to your almost-empty mug. “Want another?”

Your gaze is set on your wristwatch. It’s seven twenty-nine, and you need to be at work for nine thirty. Mentally you strive to figure out how much more time you can spend at the cafe, before you’re having to leave to get there on time.

“Is it maple hazel flavored?”

Joel tilts his head, glaring at you.

You swig the dregs of latte in your mug, and then push the polka-dot ceramic across to him. “Please.” You say, shyly.

Joel busies himself with customers, and general business-owner things for a few minutes while you finish your cinnamon roll and coffee. You can’t help watching him.

Because he’s great. He’s very caring—though extremely stern at times—and you know that if you’re having a bad day, Joel is only a two minute and thirteen second walk away.

He feels the same, too. Kind of. He knows that you’ll be sauntering into his shop at some point every day, and finds himself looking forward to seeing your wide-eyed gaze and larger-than-life smile.

And though he won’t admit it in so many words, Joel has a soft spot for you. It hasn’t always been apparent—he thought that you were utterly insufferable and obsessive when he first met you—but he can’t deny the fact that his life would be very dull without you.

Even if you do have a tendency to try to get underneath his skin.

“Are you dating, Joel?”

He rolls his eyes.

“What? It’s a very normal question to ask somebody that hasn’t been in a serious relationship for an entire twelve months.”

He pulls the cloth from his shoulder and wipes at his hands. “You and I both know that I ain’t got no interest in settlin’ down with anyone. Not yet, anyway.”

“You were willing to with Tess.” Pushing things a little, you say. You lift the coffee mug to your lips when Joel opens his mouth to chastise you, but he can’t.

He can’t because you’re right. He can’t because he wanted to, once upon a time. Before Tess walked out of his life—not long after you started frequenting his shop—he wanted it all. A wife, kids, the white picket fence that his parents had back in Austin when he was a kid.

But it doesn’t always work out that way, and Joel has learned to live with the idea that if it’s too good to be true, then it most likely is.

“I can set you up with someone—“

“Not happening.” He says. “Last time you sent me on a blind date, the girl asked me if I was into pegging.”

You giggle. “Well? Are you—“

Joel says your name, glaring pointedly.

“Sorry.” Instinctively, your lips are set into a straight line. “But I can totally do better, this time. I know this girl—she works at this law firm—and—“

“Not interested.”

“Okay.” You smile, tight-lipped. You lift your mug, striving for your third cup of coffee this morning.

Joel pours the liquid gold into the cup, before he’s telling you that he’s not going to be giving you another for fear of you ricocheting off of each wall in his place.

“You’ll turn into a cup ‘a coffee one day.”

Nodding—with a completely content smile—you say; “least I’ll be happy.”

“You’re always happy.” Joel mithers to himself, turning away. It’s one thing that he admires about you, though loathes at the same time.

Endless optimism and positivity is only something that he can long for, because he’s simply not capable of it. It baffles him how you are, especially when he’s—on occasion—so rude to you. So miserable, and cold, and completely undeserving of your friendship.

He likes that you’re so forgiving. That—even after he accidentally offended you last summer when making a comment about your then boyfriend—you can never hold a grudge, especially when it comes to him.

Because you both hold one another on a pedestal so high, neither can seem to do anything to tear themselves down. And Joel really enjoys your daily routine. That’s why he’s never not in the shop.

“You got any weekend plans?”

“Never do.”

You stretch out your arms—intertwining your fingers as you do to make them click—and offer a small smile when he cringes.

“You wanna catch a movie?” Shirking the idea that you have a date tonight—with a man who you really aren’t all that interested in, you’re just being nice—you propose.

Joel’s heart starts to beat at a tempo that’s noticeably quicker than usual. Not a lot, but it’s certainly faster.

“I think that the theatre downtown is showing the original Beetlejuice, on Saturday.”

He nods, approving. “I—uh—I’ll have to get someone to cover—“

“I’m sure you can ask your brother. Or maybe Maria?”

“I ‘spose.” Reluctant, he says. “But what about Michael? What if he wants a second date?”

“Well, his name is Marcus. And if he wants a second date—which I doubt he will—then he’ll just have to live with the fact that I have plans with a friend on Saturday night.”

He hopes that you can’t see him blush.

“Won’t it be weird?”

“Why?”

“We hardly speak outside of the shop.”

“God, Joel.” You throw your head back, laughing. “We’re the same people wherever we are. And we’re going to the movies—not a lot of talking takes place there, hon.”

His nostrils flare at your sarcasm, but mainly at the little pet name. Joel knows that you’re sweet—that you often use those terms of endearment when speaking with those that you care about—but it does something to him.

Something that he does not like.

“You can either come, or stay here and be miserable because you have no social life, or no girlfriend, or no other friends aside from me, your brother, and your brother’s wife—“

“Alright, fine.” Joel stops your miniature hate-train, and puts his hands against the counter. Your eyes zone in on the veins embellished within tan skin—how prominent they are when he’s fronting irritation—and let out a small sigh.

He’d be a lot more handsome if he smiled more, you think.

“So.” You paw at your purse, pulling it off the wood. “I’ll let you know what time the showing is, and we can make plans around that.”

Joel rounds the island and follows you as you pad toward the door, veritably sweating. “Plans?” He asks. “You never said nothin’ ‘bout plans. I thought we were just gonna catch a movie?”

“We are.” You tell him. “But we need to buy snacks, and grab dinner before we go—“

“Now you’re just describing a date.”

You shake your head. “No, I’m describing hanging out with a friend, Joel.”

“A friend?”

“An acquaintance…?” Testing the waters, you ask. Your eyes squint a bit, awaiting his retort.

But he just smiles.

“A friend.”

You smile back. Bigger.

“Perfect.” Your purse is slinging over your shoulder, and you pull your jacket to close so that the darned loops don’t get stuck on the door handle. Again. “I can’t wait.”

“It’ll be…nice.”

“Jeez, Joel. At least try to sound enthused.”

His hands shoot up in defense. “I am. Just have a hard time showin’ it.”

Your head nods. “I know. I’m only kidding. It’s nobody’s fault that you’re the human equivalent of Oscar The Grouch—“

“Alright, get out.” He holds open the door for you, smiling tight-lipped as he watches you leave. “Enjoy your meeting. And your lunch. And your date.”

You chuckle, thanking him with another bright smile.

“See you in the morning, Joel.”

“Yeah, yeah.” You step onto the sidewalk—that’s festooned with red and orange leaves as the tree above starts to shed its skin—turning to wave at him. “See ‘ya, kiddo.”

[sandersstudies]

Things to gift when somebody you know if having a hard time:

If you know an individual or family who is handling grief, illness, injury, a new child, or other extenuating circumstances and you aren’t sure how to help, here’s some thoughts. (Sincerely, somebody going through a hard time who experienced the generosity of my community in a new way.)

Food. This one is probably both traditional and obvious. Bring something that’s easy to prepare or reheat, and easy to store. (If you want to be extra kind, consider portioning out meals for easy storage and freezing, or gifting them in few extra freezer bags or Tupperware containers, if it’s appropriate.) I’ve heard other people mention it can be especially helpful to include a food that can be eaten ambient or cold over a few days, like a snack tray. Consider if the current situation has any obstacles to eating (Is the sick person on a special diet? Are the people in the household low on time, energy, and/or attention to themselves? If a parent is pregnant or breastfeeding, have they removed certain things from their usual diet? Are there small children in the house?)

Alternatives to food. Grocery, delivery, and restaurant gift cards may be appropriate depending on the situation. They can have some choices about what they eat with the ease of delivery, or stock up on essentials. (There might be a casserole for every day of the week, but do they have bread, eggs, or cereal for a simple breakfast?) One person even gifted me a year-long grocery membership.

Plates, bowls, utensils. Save them from having to do dishes by offering plastic and paper alternatives.

Household essentials. We had a family member with a CostCo card drop off bulk amounts of toilet paper, paper towels, trash bags, etc. This is one less thing for the family to think about.

Children’s “busy” items. Coloring books, puzzles, or quiet toys are a boon to parents who are under the pressure of dealing with illness, injury, funeral planning, or a newborn. Children can feel confused or lost in the shuffle even under the care of good families, so a small gift both makes them feel special and buys parents a few minutes to breathe. If you’re close to the family, you can even offer to take children with you to the park, the library, or a film when parents need some time.

Favors. If you’re very close to the family and it’s appropriate to the situation, you might offer to serve as dog walker, laundress, or dishwasher for a day or two.

Something they love. If the household’s basic needs are covered, consider giving something thoughtful that they enjoy in whatever way is most appropriate.

[starrihan]

Enhypen When You're on Your Period

-> Pairing: Enhypen x afab! Reader

-> Plot: How i think enhypen act/ what they do for you when you're on your period

-> Genre: fluff, very slightly suggestive, comfort, intentional lowercase

-> Warnings: none

-> Word Count: 950 (jungwon and niki's parts are slightly longer)

-> Notes: self-indulgent because I'm on my period rn and the thought of enhypen taking care of their girlfriend's on their period is so cute to me

Heeseung

hes so sweet about it but also cracks jokes. I do believe he'd be the one to be at the store when you ask him to pick up pads/ tampons for the first time and him asking "what size is your pussy?" and he's so serious. after being together for a couple of months he'd learn your cycle (so he can track the next time yall can fuck)

he would try his best to make you feel comfortable if you were having cramps. he would show up at your door with boba/ coffee/ tea, whatever you prefer and then offer to order takeout and spend the night in

༄ ༄ ༄

Jay

I know everyone thinks he's husband and its because he is. he would be on top of your period and better prepared for it than you would be. he would predict the day you would get your period and he's right 95% of the time. he always makes sure the bathroom is stocked with whatever you use, making sure to buy extra toilet paper and wipes that week.

he makes sure your favorite snacks are stocked in the kitchen and buys you a heating pad if you don't already have one. would cook dinner for you and set everything up and then clean up afterwards because you shouldn't "worry your pretty little head about a thing."

overall just the perfect person to take care of you on your period

༄ ༄ ༄

Jake

nervous pt. 1. I think jake would be nervous the first time you get your period when you guys started dating. he'd be scared to say or do the wrong thing that could make you upset or frustrated. its a stark contrast to his normally silly personality. he would treat you like you're made of glass if you tell him that you're cramping, as if you'd break if he touched you.

you'd have to reassure him that you're okay and that you're not gonna feel more pain if he holds you. once you calm him down of his fears, he'd be so sweet and perfect. he'd bring you a big bag of snacks and propose you watch funny youtube videos to cheer you up. he'd offer to massage you and then cuddle until you fall asleep

༄ ༄ ༄

Sunghoon

he's very calm the first time you get your period. he has a little sister so he knows about periods and knows the basics. he asks you what you like to do during this time and what you prefer to eat, etc. he likes to buy you small gifts that he thinks will cheer you up. he also proposes you guys go out and take walks to help you feel better, only if you're up for it, of course.

he'll make ramen for the both of you to eat cause he knows it warms you up and will throw on a movie for you two to watch. cleans everything up and then at the end of the night, he picks you up and carries you to bed

༄ ༄ ༄

Sunoo

the moment you told him you were on your period, he started researching everything there was to know about them. "I read that women prefer to have chocolates on their period so i bought you the one you like!"

he's very attentive to your mood. he knows that he can be sassy and while its normally for jokes, he eases up on the sass if he sees that you're uncomfortable or in pain and focuses on you feeling better. will do skincare with you at the end of the night because he knows you sometimes skip it if you're too tired. gets you matching headbands and wristbands to make the process cuter. he's just so lovely

༄ ༄ ༄

Jungwon

nervous pt. 2. of course he knows what periods are and he's been around people who have had their periods. but the first time you get you period he makes a joke about "how bad could they be?" and he immediately learns his lesson when you're shooting daggers at him. once you tell him all the things that happen to your body during your period (in too much detail for his liking) he is very mindful about your feelings.

he's like a little puppy, fetching you whatever you need the moment you ask for it. he learns the queues of when you're in pain or when you're feeling too hot or too cold and tried to remedy it instantly. he gives you plenty of hugs and kisses to help make you feel better and will do anything to see you laugh, your favorite being him making funny faces or messing with his hair <3

༄ ༄ ༄

Niki

he knows a lot more than it may seem. you may be his first girlfriend but he surprises you with how much he knows. he asks you what size pad/ tampon you need when you tell him. even if you don't need any, he'll go out and buy you some anyways, so you don't run out of them. he also would always keep an extra one in his bag whenever he's out with you in case you need it.

he would take you on cute little dates for ice cream for whenever you're craving a sweet treat. he would suggest you two play video games. if you're against each other he'd let you win, despite your protests. at the end of the night, he'd tell you to get ready for bed while he tidies up. he would find you laying in bed, already asleep and would pull the covers over you both before cuddling you to sleep.

[winnie1emon]

“I’m a man now”

lorenzo berkshire x american!reader (fem pov)

word count: approx. 1.3k

cw: mdni!! kind of childhood friends to lovers, sort of rekindling, cursing, heavy makeout, sexual language, tiniest bit of fluff (?)

an: lowkey not proofread since I did this instead of sleeping, first piece of work on this blog, title may or may not be a play on louis’ role in enola holmes haha

As sweat began to bead on your forehead, you shielded your eyes from the raging sun, watching the ice cream from Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour melt in your hand. In your other hand, were bags of books, a new set of robes, and a brand new cauldron for you to start your final year of education but first school year at Hogwarts after having transferred from Ilvermorny. 

You turned your head to look behind yourself, seeing your mom chatting animatedly with her friend who you know to be Mrs. Berkshire. You remembered her obscurely from the summers she would spend in America when you were younger, bringing along her son– Lorenzo.

Lorenzo was walking beside his mother, casually eating his ice cream without a care in the world. You used to spend time with him as kids in the summer, but it had been about 5 years and you definitely had suspicions about his newfound personality. Despite your mother's insistence on you rekindling your friendship with the seemingly sweet Lorenzo, you spent most of the afternoon purposefully walking ahead of him or trailing slowly behind him. Stopping at a trashcan to wipe your hands with a tissue and throw away the remainder of your ice cream cone, you’re startled when your mother suddenly speaks to you. 

“Got everything you need?” She asks, placing a hand on your back. Regaining your breath, you turned to her, wiping off a bit of sweat on your forehead. 

“Yeah, mom, scared me. Can we go now? It’s terrible out here,” you complained, squinting at the sun. You looked around the bustling environment of Diagon Alley and saw Lorenzo staring at you from the corner of your eye. He stood there, tall and handsome, the sun hitting him in all the right ways. You shut your eyes for a second before opening them back up at your mom in an attempt to distract yourselves from his appearance. 

“Mhm, we’re going to stop by the Leaky Cauldron first though, Lorenzo’s hungry,” she told you. Noticing the hesitant nod you gave her, she added, “Y/n.. you guys used to be such great little friends, why don’t you sit beside him once we sit down to eat?” A slight frown formed on your face as you mumbled a small sure and began to walk towards the Leaky Cauldron with your mom, Lorenzo and his mother following behind. 

As the four of you entered the pub, your mother sat beside Lorenzo’s, giving you a knowing smile. You dubiously took the seat beside Lorenzo, averting your gaze, determined to stare at your mother’s eyebrows and zone out. You’re brought back to reality as Mrs. Berkshire orders. “Three butterbeers and a, uh hot tea for me please,” she smiled at the waiter. The moment the waiter left, you realized it would be the most awkward wait ever, so you excused yourself.

“Just going to use the bathroom real quick.” 

You entered the small, dingy bathroom that was dimmed, noticing the lack of foot space. You looked in the mirror, dabbing off a bit of the extra sweat you had from outside off your chest with some toilet paper. You reached down to your low-rise jeans, fishing your lipgloss out of your pocket. Reapplying the lipgloss, you saw the door open behind you through the mirror and flinched, turning around immediately, hands behind you, resting on the sink. “Holy shit! Who the fuck..” you huffed out, holding your hand to your heart. “Lorenzo. Why would you–?”

“Sorry, sorry,” he smiled, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“Mhm, coming into the bathroom unannounced; a sure way to lull someone into comfort,” you retorted. “Wh-what are you even doing here?” You furrowed your brows in confusion, staring at his face. 

“You know,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “Just wanted to see why you were avoiding me.”

“Avoiding you?” you asked incredulously. “There’s no reason for me to avoid you,” you added defensively. “What, you thought I was too scared to talk to you this whole time?”

“Look, there’s no,” he scoffed. “--there’s no need to lie,” he grinned, stepping closer, and you could almost convince yourself that he gazed at the sweat glistening on your chest momentarily. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s fine.” You furrowed your brows from his change of heart and said nothing. “So,” he exhaled. “What have you been up to?"

“Nothing really… bit bummed I had to move, but it’s whatever now,” you shrugged, grateful for the change in direction. “You?” 

“Yeah same, nothing too. Why don’t you like it here?” Lorenzo asked. 

“Dunno… seems a bit boring here. Plus all the guys I’ve seen so far– they seem so immature. The amount of yelling I heard in Flourish and Blotts; insanity.,” you groaned. “They’re all just little boys to me honestly.” Your eyes darted around the bathroom, pursing your lips slightly. 

“Pfft, yeah. I get what you mean, some of them are horrible.”

“They were like you when you used to come over to America,” you teased, a small smile forming on your face. “A complete twit as you people call it.”

“Please,” he sighed. “I’m a man now.”

“Mmm, uh huh,” you nodded hesitantly. The mood somehow shifted, the air becoming palpable. “I’m sure you are.” You gave him half a smile, teasingly. To your surprise, Lorenzo stepped forward, taking one of your hands into both of his and looked into your eyes.

“Missed you.” He said that so casually, the words coming out of his mouth like he had been itching to say those words for an eternity. Taken aback by the change of tone, you paused for a few seconds before saying,

“I missed you too. You’re quite handsome now; did you know?"

Lorenzo placed a hand on your jaw, lightly rubbing it. “Y’think so? Cause you’re not so bad yourself.” Your lips parted slightly, but no sound came out of your mouth. His eyes darted around your face, from your eyes, to your lips, even to your flushing cheeks. 

“Lorenzo?” You asked, receiving a quiet hm from him in return. “What are you doing?” you asked, unable to contain a giddy grin. 

“I mean, I think I’m about to kiss you, but I’m not entirely sure,” he answered cheekily. 

“Oh, just do it you absolute twat,” you sighed.

 And that he did. Lorenzo met your lips with his own, his hand snaking around your back. The kisses, at first, were light, you guys pulling away every so often to catch your breaths before he started to kiss you sloppily with increased fervor.

His hands trailed from your back, one resting on your waist, the other reaching down to your ass. You let out a small gasp in surprise, biting your lips to suppress a moan as he reeled you closer to him, grasping at your ass. Pulling your lips away from his, forehead to forehead, he met your surprised look with a coy smile before grazing your swollen lips once more, slipping his tongue into your mouth.

As he pushed your back into the sink, you pulled away, both of your breathing ragged, some stray strands of hair sticking to your face. “Hey…” you exhaled out. “Don’t you think our moms are getting suspicious since we’re taking so long?” You gave him a dazed look, wiping off the excess lipgloss from his lips with your thumb.

“Nah, I told them I was going upstairs to see a friend who’s staying here,” he said, his body still yearning for your touch. 

“Well, what about me?” you questioned. ‘Wh-what will I say?” 

“Just say you blew up the toilet or something…” he teased, his face still tinged with a rosy hue. “I’m kidding, I’m very mature.”

You bit back a giggle, rolling your eyes. “You’re really not, you are making me enjoy my move much, much more.”

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