#yes we have extra toilet paper in the basement

[bewilderedbuckley]

Someone tell me to get up and get toilet paper from the basement

[trainer-aer]

A few years ago in California, I lived with a really cool woman who worked "at the paper towel factory" (yes, this was during quarantine, thanks to her, I did not experience a paper towel or toilet paper shortage, I experienced a frankly comical surplus)

Anyway, she moved away when the lease ended, back to her family in Chicago.

Well I also moved to Chicago with my family and my parents just bought a house so I was going through the stuff in my basement recently to make a bit of extra room for some of the stuff I'm going to hold for them while they move and I found the charger to her cordless drill that she had left behind accidentally way back in 2021 when we parted ways in California. It was tucked away in a box of holiday decor for some reason? Such is the nature of packing when you're moving in a hurry to get away from an abuser, I suppose.

I texted her and I'm gonna have her over at my new place sometime soon to hang out with my cat (she really liked Persephone, I'm sure she misses her) and I'm gonna surprise her by returning that drill charger so I can stop feeling guilty about it haha

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

"We keep losing the signal, but you heard it, right?"

The five of us were gathered in Mike's basement once more. Lucas and Dustin had nearly broken down my door earlier this morning in a frantic scramble. They had both began talking really fast but I caught bits and pieces, something about Mike hearing Will. That was enough to get me out of my room, regardless of my health, or whatever the hell is wrong with me.

It took me less than five minutes to get dressed and before I knew it, I was on my bike and in the lead to Mike's. When we got there he quickly ushered us down to the basement and that is how we all ended up sitting by El, listening to her fiddle with the supercomm. The voice I heard was hard to believe but unmistakably Will's.

I knew that a big part of me was hoping so desperately that he was alive that I was willing to believe anything. I know it's not healthy, but I couldn't resist giving into the belief that my best friend is alive.

"Yeah, I heard a baby," Lucas all but sighed.

"What?" Mike asked, seemingly astonished.

"Mike, you obviously tapped into a baby monitor. It's probably the Blackburns' next door." Lucas sighed, wanting to believe that Will was alive.

I could tell he wanted it to be true. But I guess that's where we are different, Lucas is better at sticking to reality and reason. Something I often envied.

"Uh, did that sound like a baby to you? That was Will!" Mike said matter-of-factly.

Lucas rolled his eyes, clearly getting frustrated.

"Mike..."

"Lucas, you don't understand. He spoke last night. Words! He was singing that weird song he loves. Even El heard him!"

My head snapped up. I had been silent throughout this whole endeavor, keeping a safe distance from the circle, still not completely sure if I was sick enough to contaminate anyone. But I spoke up.

"Should I Stay or Should I Go? By the Clash?" My voice was slightly urgent.

"Yes! At least I think it's by th– you know what? It doesn't matter. The point is," he looked around the room to party one by one, his eyes landed on me last with a knowing look. "I think there is a good chance Will is alive."

I gave a small smile at Mike, communicating my gratitude silently.

"Well if El heard him–" Lucas began, annoyed.

"Are you sure you're on the right channel?" Dustin cut in.

"I don't think it's about that. I think, somehow, she's channeling him."

"Like... like Professor X."

"Yeah."

Lucas looked to me, then the boys. "Are you actually believing this crap?"

"I don't know, I mean..." Dustin sighed. "Do you remember when Will fell off his bike and broke his finger? He sounded a lot like that."

Lucas gave us an incredulous look. "Did you guys not see what I saw? They pulled Will's body out of the water. He's dead!" Lucas screamed, his eyes landed on me long enough for him to see the pain in my eyes.

A lump in my throat grew large, and my palms became warm again. My eyes stung as I blinked away the tears, never breaking eye contact with Lucas. I stood up abruptly and excused myself in a hoarse whisper.

"Y/n..." Lucas sighed after me, only to be met with the bathroom door swinging shut.

My palms gripped the counter as I tried catching my breath. The salty tears escaped my eyes and I looked into the mirror to see what a mess I was. I really didn't want to have another anxiety attack. Not now. It's the last thing I need.

I wiped my eyes and blew my nose in some toilet paper. I grabbed an extra washcloth and set it aside. I turned on the faucet and waited for the temperature to cool down. I could hear the muffled voices of the boys, and then some scattered shuffling. When I was finally satisfied with the cool temperature of the water I ran the washcloth under the sink, soaking it in cold water.

I rung out the damp cloth over the sink before bringing it to my cheeks. The cool soft cloth felt refreshing on my heated face, and I put pressure over my eyes to bring down the swelling. It seemed to do the trick. I took an extra moment to steady my breathing, and I brought my hand up to rub my neck, sighing. However, I recoiled my hand when my neck was met with a harsh sting of heat. I looked at my hands, confused.

'The water couldn't have been that hot, could it? But, that...'

Too many questions arose from that simple theory, so I quickly dismissed it. Knowing that the longer I stay, the more worried the boys will become. And all I want is to know what the hell is going on. I open the door and rejoin my friends.

However, I don't see El or Mike.

Just Dustin and Lucas digging out some old boxes. Dustin noticed the look of confusion on my face and fills me in.

"We think if we get El to a stronger radio, like the Heathkit at school, she will be able to get a stronger connection to Will. We just need to find her a disguise. Mike is upstairs helping her out on makeup."

I nod, joining the boys and begin digging through another box, rifling through the many abandoned clothes and costumes.

"Y/n? I'm sorry, I just–" Lucas speaks up softly.

"It's fine," I mumble, not bothering to look up from the box.

I know he is sorry, but I also know that if I dwell on it any longer I will only grow more upset. I hear him sigh, and return to the box. An old pink dress I can only assume once belonged to Nancy had caught my eye. I pulled it out of the box and showed it to the guys.

Lucas gave a firm nod, and Dustin proudly showed off a blonde wig he had found. I lead the way upstairs and handed El the dress and wig which I had taken from Dustin. I gave her a small smile, indicating that I was okay and not mad at her.

She seemed more comfortable with the idea of changing alone but insisted I help with the wig, she seemed very confused as to what it was. The boys were busy talking, but I was the only one who noticed her peaking her head from behind the door.

I slipped inside and closed the door behind me. She looked nervous but I didn't blame her. I smiled.

"You look great. And you'll do fine, I promise. Mike and I have got your back, and so does Dustin and Lucas, as much as they might deny it."

These words of comfort seem to earn a grateful smile from her. I return the gesture and grab the wig off of the bed.

"Alright, this may be different from what you're used to but it grows on you. Longer hair, I mean." I chuckle to myself at my unintended pun, knowing she probably wouldn't get it.

Embarrassed, I shake a way the comment and I adjust the wig on her, helping her to straighten out some loose hairs.

"And you are done. Are you ready?"

El looked to me, a thoughtful expression on her face before nodding. I open the door and step out to see the boys all turn in unison.

They look to me before I silently step aside to reveal El in her disguise. She held herself in a different way, I could tell. It wasn't bad but she didn't seem to know either. It was new. And Mike. Well, Mike couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Then again, what else is new? I smiled as I watched the scene unfold.

"Wow. She looks–" Dustin perked up.

"Pretty." Mike finished, his jaw practically on the floor.

El smiled at him shyly, a small blush dusted her cheeks. Mike seemed to realize what he had said and tried to play it off.

"Good. You look pretty good."

I rolled my eyes at his behavior and watched as El walked over to the mirror, Mike following. She seemed entranced at what she saw in the reflection. I can only imagine what it must be like for her.

She looked longingly into the mirror before wistfully whispering.

"Pretty." There was a pause, and her face seemed to fall a bit. "Good."

I pressed my lips into a firm line at the sight.

I just hope this works.

[themadlostgirl]

When It’s Cold (2)

*Horny teens are horny. Mild smut mentions ahead.*

~~~

I laid in bed watching the lightning flash outside my windows as thunder shook the room and rain poured down. As a child a storm like this would have had me hiding under my covers. Tonight though I watched the storm, every inch of my body on alert with every crack of lightning and thunder. The doors to my room burst open with a roll of thunder. A shadowed figured stood in the hallway. My heart hammered fast as I tried to see through the darkness at my intruder. A flash of lightning illuminated the once dark room and I recognized the jagged line down my visitor’s face.

“Felix?” I sat up straighter. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to make sure you weren’t scared.” He prowled closer, a wicked grin on his face as he got to the foot of my bed. “You always were so scared of storms.”

“I was…” I murmured. He was dressed only in a pair of pants. That same chiseled torso I had gawked at earlier on full display.

He crawled onto the bed until he was hovering over me. “Do you want me to stay?” His voice purred in my ear, “I can keep you warm if it gets cold.”

“Yes please,” I let the robe around me fall from my shoulders leaving me exposed. “Keep me warm, Felix.”

“Gladly.” He swooped down upon me.

~~~

I woke with a start. My body was wound up tight and I was tangled in the blankets on my bed. I gazed around me confused before the previous day’s events caught up to me. It felt like a dream that Felix and I had found this mansion last night.

Felix…

The real dream came back to me with stark detail. What had that been all about? I’ve never had a dream like that before. I never have dreams in the first place. Even when I do they’re nothing like that and most certainly do not feature Felix. Yet he had been the epicenter.

Half naked with a devilish grin looking down at my own nude body. I had wanted him to--to--

I buried my face in my pillow. This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t gone to his room last night and saw him coming out of the bathroom. Why did I have to see that? Now I was having borderline erotic dreams about him. Oh screw borderline! I knew exactly what I had been hoping to happen and the aching between my legs only solidified it.

It’s not like I never found Felix ugly or anything. He was pleasant to look at. I dare say at times he was handsome but I never dwelled on it. Maybe a stray intrusive thought or two but they never went so far as my dream had. I couldn’t stop picturing it. Felix and I in bed, his large hands on my body, his lips caressing my skin…

I pressed my legs together as the image took root in my head. Maybe I deserve to indulge a little. For right now there is nothing to worry about. Besides, it’s not like Felix will ever know. My hand dipped between my legs as I let myself fall back into the dream. My body was extra sensitive since I hadn’t been able to indulge in this particular past time since Neverland. Not that I got to do it a whole lot there either. I swear there is absolutely no privacy on that island.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

And none here either it seems.

With a small whine I swung out of bed and pulled my robe in tight. I opened the door and Felix was waiting on the other side already dressed. Could it be considered poetic irony that the boy I had just a moment ago been masturbating to interrupted said masturbation?

“Did you just wake up?” Felix looked me up and down.

“Kinda. I figured I was allowed to sleep in. What do you want?” I stepped back and started collecting my clothes from the floor. 

“Get dressed. I discovered something you’re gonna wanna see.”

“Can’t you just tell me?”

“No. Now hurry up.” He closed the door and left.

With a sigh a pulled my clothes back on and followed Felix up a set of stairs to a hallway that led to a dead end. “This is what you wanted to show me? A wall with a picture on it?”

“Watch this,” He pulled the light fixture next to the painting and suddenly the wall came loose and rotated opening up a passageway into a whole new room.

“This place has secret rooms now. Very cool.” I stepped inside. “A library?” I looked at the books but there were no names on the spines. I pulled one off and flipped through it but all the pages were blank. “I will say I wasn’t expecting this.”

“Oh but it gets better.” Felix went over to the desk at the end of the room and pulled open the drawer. There was a button inside. He pressed it and a section of the floor popped up. I knelt down and opened the hatch and my eyes went wide. It was a safe!

I turned the latch and nearly cried at what I saw. Money. Just stacks and stacks of money! One less thing to worry about. We wouldn’t need to scrape by or get jobs. This safe could keep us comfortable for months! Years even!

“How did you find this?” I asked Felix.

“I like puzzles and I like to snoop.” He grinned pulling out a stack of hundreds. The band around it said ten thousand. Ten thousand dollars and there were easily a hundred or more just like it from what I could tell from the naked eye. We have someplace warm to sleep and we have money for food.

I started sniffling and I could sense Felix watching me befuddled. “Sorry, I just--” I took a deep breath and wiped the tears from my eyes, “We’re going to survive the winter. We don’t have to be hungry or cold again.”

“I know,” Felix pulled a few hundreds from the stack and dropped the rest back in the safe. “Now how about we go do that grocery shopping you were so insistent on?”

“Yes!” I hopped to my feet. We put everything back in place and left the room. I found a pad of paper and started making a list of everything we would need. Unlike Felix who had spent so much time on Neverland that he couldn’t remember who he had been before being a Lost Boy , I did remember who I was. I remembered the responsibilities I had before Neverland. What was needed when I was made to go to market. The grocery store wasn’t like the open air markets I was used to but it was still the same general concept.

Felix and I got weird looks as we entered the store and I took one of the trollies. My first stop was to grab some toiletries. Toilet paper, shampoo, body wash, loofah, deodorant, toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, and even a set of razors in case Felix wanted to shave. Next we grabbed laundry detergent, dish soap, paper towels, spray cleaner, trash bags, aluminum, and hangers. We would need to go to a different store for clothes. Lastly, food. Now, being the designated responsible person out of the two of us I know we couldn’t just indulge in the sweets and other delicious yet not necessarily healthy food for us.

I sped up and down the aisles with Felix trailing after me as I dumped stuff into the trolley. Chicken, beef, bacon, vegetables, fruits, a ten pound bag of potatoes, bread, milk, two dozen eggs, pasta, rice, butter, flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, vanilla, yeast (it’s been forever since I baked anything but I figured I could give it a try), orange juice, apple juice, cheese, canola oil, olive oil, and spices. Then came on the things I knew less about, peanut butter, chocolate chips, gummy candies, dressings, chips, ice cream, instant brownie mix, pizza rolls (they sounded good), cans of soup, yogurt, pancake/waffle mix, whipped cream, cereal, granola bars, pretzels, and tea bags.

Our trolley was overflowing with items as we wheeled our way over to the register. The man bagging our items looked at us strangely as we started unloading our groceries onto the counter. Several minutes and a trolley full of groceries later we were given our grand total. I was scared that we wouldn’t have enough but thankfully we did. We left the store and looked at our haul.

“Hey, Felix,” I paused as we were halfway through the parking lot, “How are we gonna get all this back to the mansion?”

“We steal the cart.” He said it like it was obvious. “Who is gonna stop us?”

“True.” We started out trip back to the mansion and pushed the trolley into the house. We spent the next several minute cramming things into cabinets and the icebox. I pushed the trolley back outside and went to put my toiletries away while Felix took the laundry items down to the basement. I would also need to learn how to use the electronic washers they had here if I wanted clean clothes.

Speaking of clean clothes, “Felix!” I shouted down the steps, “We’re not done yet today. We need to go clothes shopping.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t bring any extra sets of clothes with me when we left Neverland and I’m sick of wearing these dirty rags. Now get a move on!”

Felix came upstairs with a scowl. “Don’t pout. Even if we kept these clothes clean they stand out too much. I think it’s part of the reason everyone glares at us. We’ll arise less suspicion if we blend in. Especially since our mission is to find a way out of here and back to Neverland.”

“Fine.” Felix grumbled. He counted the remaining money in his pocket. “Let me grab a few more bills from the library just to be safe.”

My stomach grumbled and I decided to grab a granola bar to settle my stomach while I waited for Felix. This house was so strange. They didn’t have any dish soap but they had pots and pans. No shampoo but they had combs. Not a lick of food but a cabinet dedicated to what looked like a very fragile table set.

Felix came back a few hundred dollars richer and we made our way back into town for the second time that day. The clothes store was emptier than the grocery store which put me more at ease. Felix and I went our separate ways as I perused around the racks and racks of clothing. I grabbed a few shirts, pajamas, sweatshirts, sweat pants, underwear, socks, gloves, a scarf, hat, a thick jacket, a new pair of boots, and a large messenger bag. When I went to try on some pants though I was thoroughly disappointed. They fit fine but the pockets on them were tiny! I could barely get my hand in them. Was this what pants were like here? Why?!

I went over to the men’s section and found Felix also trying on some new clothes. It was a simple black t-shirt and a pair of dark denim jeans but it looked really good on him. He almost looked less foreboding. Maybe that was just due to the fact that he didn’t have his cloak hood up like usual.

“You look mad,” Felix chuckled upon seeing me stomp up to him.

“I am! Look at this.” I squeezed a few of my fingers into my jeans pocket. “These pants have absolutely no room! Are yours like this as well?”

“Mine?” he stuck his entire hand in his pocket up to the middle of his forearm. “Nope.”

“What the hell?” I stuck my hand in his other pocket. These were so much roomier than mine! “Why are these better than the ones in my section?”

“I don’t know,” Felix pulled my hand out of his pocket, his face was red with anger again and he wouldn’t look me in the eye, “You can stop invading my personal space though.”

“Oops, sorry.” I snatched my hand back to my chest. What had I been thinking? I essentially stuck my hand down his pants and for what? Because I was jealous of the size of his pockets? I grabbed a few pants from his section that looked to be my size and raced back to the dressing rooms in my section. These fit just as well as the ones I was wearing now but the pockets were much roomier so I chucked the others away and got the men’s pants.

Felix met me at the registers when he was done browsing. He still wasn’t looking at me. I think I made things between us really uncomfortable. We paid for the clothes but had no trolley this time so had to carry everything in large bags back to the mansion. After we got back Felix disappeared into his room. I changed into a pair of the comfy new clothes I bought and went downstairs to make myself something to eat.

I heated a can of soup up and sat down to eat. I wasn’t in the mood to be so adventurous as to make a full blown meal. Now that we had all the essentials Felix and I could start our search for a way back to Neverland in earnest.

I didn’t see Felix for the rest of the night. Figures he wouldn’t want to be around me after we spent all day together. I drew myself another hot bath and this time was able to actually wash myself with the soap and shampoo we had bought. I felt truly clean for the first time in a long time as I slid on the pajamas I bought and crawled back into bed.

Rain pattered outside and I was reminded of my dream from this morning. A part of me dreading and hoping that I would have another just like it.

~~~

Fucking hell! You were killing him! You had to be trying to kill him! That’s what Felix concluded as he locked himself in the master bedroom of the mansion.

Ever since Felix had let himself be talked into going to Storybrooke with you he had been forced by your side. You were the only Lost One in Storybrooke still loyal to Pan when all the others had run off to find families for themselves. He told himself he was tagging along instead of staying in Neverland to enact revenge on those that murdered Pan but that was only half of the story.

He should have never followed you though. Revenge aside. It hadn’t worked out anyway. Even after he learned that Pan was still alive, albeit in someone else’s body, it wasn’t enough. Pan died anyway before he got to enact the curse that would have turned this worthless town into a new Neverland. Now everyone was happy and safe and you and Felix were both very much stranded.

Finding this mansion had been a sweet turn of luck. He knew you were right when you mentioned needing a better place to stay over winter. Felix didn’t like the cold either but he could tolerate it better than you. Every night since you two got here you would shiver the night away at your camp. The night before it had been so cold that even Felix was cursing the wind. While he shivered though he glanced across the fire pit at you. You were huddled in so tight to yourself. Teeth chattering and body convulsing.

He was glad that you didn’t make any mention of him giving you his cloak as an extra form of warmth that night. He didn’t want to try explaining why he had done it. Terrible complicated feelings that he refused to acknowledge. He pushed them down hard, stomped them into dust so they could never rear their ugly head again.

Then he had gotten out of the bath. Truly clean for the first time in years he had left the bathroom and all those complicated feelings from before shot to the surface at the scene laid out before him. You knelt on the ground with only a towel barely covering you. Your wet hair leaving drops of water rolling down your shoulders and back.

His jaw clenched and he fumbled to maintain some composure as you explained what you were doing practically naked in his room. He had found the robe in the master bathroom and was planning on wearing it to bed himself but when he caught sight of you he was only too happy to chuck it into your arms. He needed you to cover up. He needed you clothed and out of his room that instant!

He was far from relaxed after you had left that night. The sight of you knelt over, the towel just barely covering your ass was burned into his brain. He ignored the stirring under his towel and dove into the large bed. He tossed and turned most of the night trying to rid the image and the thoughts he was having. His mind betrayed him though as it brought him much more vivid fantasies of you on his bed wearing nothing at all and beckoning him to take you.

He woke soon after breathing hard and his hand around his cock. Felix cursed the fact that he had a lewd dream about you of all people. He tried to ignore the images flashing in his head but when he closed his eyes there you were on all fours again with a teasing smile. He jumped into the bathroom and turned on the shower hoping a cold jolt would snap him back to sense but then he was thinking of you in this shower with him. Water rolling down your body, that same teasing smile and sultry voice begging him to take you against the wall.

For a few minutes he swallowed his embarrassment and let the fantasy play out fucking into his fist and pretending it was you squeezing around him instead. He thought of your moans and whimpers egging him on. Begging him to be harder, faster, rougher. He bit his lip to keep from shouting as he finally spent himself and started coming down from his high.

He felt more relaxed afterwards but the release of tension didn’t make him feel better knowing he had masturbated to you. You were his...friend? You two had never been friends before coming to Storybrooke and he doubted that you two were that now. Whatever you were to him he shouldn’t be thinking about you like that. You both wanted to get back to Neverland and having obscene fantasies of you was not the way to go about that.

It was still fairly early but he was too wound up to go back to bed. So he got dressed and went exploring throughout the mansion. That’s how he had found the secret library full of blank books and that secret vault under the floorboards. He put everything back in place before racing to wake you up and show you. He had almost forgotten about his dream until you opened the door and he was met with your sleepy face and bedhead. Had you always been this attractive or was it just the layers of dirt that had gotten washed away last night that made you much more appealing to him suddenly? He decided not to dwell on why he was having these thoughts and instead took you down to see the stash of money he had found.

You were so giddy at the knowledge that you could actually have a roof over your head and food in your belly that he found himself smiling too. Your smile was so infectious. He let you take the lead when you went shopping. He didn’t recognize half the stuff he saw in that store but trusted your judgement when you dropped something in the cart.

Then there was when you went to go clothes shopping. Felix wouldn’t admit that he was getting a little worn out of his Neverland attire. It was functional but that was all he could say about it. The smell of it after he had gotten out of the bath the night before almost made him gag. Perhaps this was the reason no one wanted you or him around. You both reeked of years of living in a jungle.

You two were on totally opposite ends of the clothing store so Felix thought he was safe until you came charging into his dressing room ranting about the tiny pockets on your pants. The tight fitted pants that hugged your legs and ass perfectly. Then when you unceremoniously stuffed your hand down his pocket to see how deep they were it took all his self control and thoughts of rotting animal carcasses to not pop an erection right there in the store.

You were trying to make him burst a blood vessel and you didn’t even seem to notice! Which is why he was back in his room sitting on his bed hungry and horny. He was waiting until after he was sure you had gone to bed to get some food. He really didn’t want to chance running into you again and risk those impure thoughts bubbling to the surface once more.

Hopefully today had just been a spoof and tomorrow all these strange new thoughts and feelings would be gone. You two had a mission after all. Get back to Neverland. Lust wasn’t going to help that mission.

---

(Previous) (Next)

[ditch-witches]

Quarantine (George MacKay Smut)

quick thank you, once again to the darling @iongaa​ and her gorgeous moodboards. i love you.

requested: yes/no (this made me cry with laughter. also the title was originally COVID-69 so)

pairing: George MacKay x reader

warnings: wordplay, sMuT

word count: 1,609

a/n: This took a friggin ViLLaGe. Like literally all hands on deck including our prodigy, LB, but mainly Hannah writing the slutty stuff.  

You warmed your hands as you cradled the mug George sent your way; your eyes tired from the late night as you watched him circle around the kitchen, banging pots and pans aggressively as he went about putting away the dishes. You rolled your eyes as he looked up at you from time to time sighing under his breath as the news streamed on the tv in the corner.

You tied your hair back and pulled your medical blue scrub coat over your matching uniform. "What?" You nipped. He stopped, shaking his head slightly like you were crazy. "Oh my god, what is it?" His irritated expression intensified as he froze, picking up the remote on the counter beside you and turning up the tv volume; his eye contact never breaking yours. You fought not to roll your eyes once again, instead arching an eyebrow in his direction. "Seriously?"

He wet his lips, crossing his arms over his chest. "Still wanna go in?"

"It's not like I have a choice," you snapped. He grunted in response, looking back at the tv as you stepped into your shoes. "Whatever. I'll see you later..." You tossed a look over your shoulder at him. "Unless I'm dead."

He slipped between you and the door, his eyes burning into yours. "Stop being so selfish. There are others that live with you." He gestured to your unassuming dog, too old for his own good. The dog was more of an heirloom than anything.

"SeLfiSh. That thing was old when you were seven, George."

"At least that thing doesn't pick up extra shifts on our anniversary." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index finger at the sight of your darkening expression. "Fuck, that was uncalled for, I'm sorry."

You pushed past him. "Fuck off," you growled, grabbing your bag and leaving.

George's words echoed through your head while you attempted to carry out your day. You hadn't realized how much he affected you until you almost snapped at a soccer mom convinced her son had Corona. It was really gonorrhea. You were shocked when the message came over your pager that the hospital had to mandatorily switch shifts. You rolled your head on your shoulders, thinking about the drama queen you had to head home to. You took your time driving, the curves in the road being your only solace as different scenarios played through your mind. George had time to think of his ridiculous comebacks and you knew he had an argument ready for you. Your house was quiet, the only sounds being your bare feet against the hardwood as you walked through the kitchen, searching for a sign of life. You heard a bang in the basement, startling you. After finally controlling your heartbeat, you moved to throw the door open and climb down the steps.

You bit back a laugh when you laid eyes on George, surrounded by your "doomsday supplies". He looked at you with annoyance. "What the shit is this?" You averted your eyes as George moved his foot to kick a toilet paper roll across the floor, one of his sweater sleeves covered in dust.

You looked up to focus on a spot on the ceiling. "My question is: Do you think this is water damage?" Through the corner of your eye, you watched him put his hands on his hips.

"Really?"

"Yeah." You squinted, pretending not to know what he was talking about. "How long has that been there?"

"What is this?" His voice raised slightly.

You continued to avoid eye contact. "What do you mean?"

His arms flared towards the mess on the floor. "These fucking cans on the floor. I almost broke my ass-"

You cut him off. "Did you check for another crack?"

His face flushed. "What?"

"Is there another crack in your ass, George?" His mouth opened slightly, you could tell he was already on a short fuse. The beat of silence was once again broken by you. "Do you want me to check for you? I'm a trained professional. I know my way around an ass-"

"No. Shut up, dammit." He sighed heavily. "Any Corona today?"

"No, I sang Oops I Did it Again when I washed my hands," you quipped. He rolled his eyes.

He moved to step over the pile at his feet. "Why do you have to be such a smartass all the time?"

You crossed your arms, matching his glowering tone. "Is that not my best quality?" He shook his head, still annoyed. "Maybe I should just pick up more shifts, huh?"

"I said I was sor-"

"Back to this fucking stain," you commented, lifting your arm slightly towards the spot. He took a few steps to stand in front of you, grabbing your arm in its mid-air position, pulling you against his body. You gasped in surprise. Despite the thickness of his sweater, you could feel the muscular tone of his body. His other hand gripped the back of your neck, knotting in your hair and pulling you into a passionate kiss.

Your eyes widened, then relaxed as you fell into his enticing taste. He broke away and took in your dazed expression as you tugged at his sweater, slipping your hands underneath to rest on his taut abdomen. "I don't think this is very smart," he raised an eyebrow and shot a cocky glance at you, "after all, there's a deadly virus going around-"

You cut him off with a kiss just as provoking as his was, a deep groan rumbling from your partner. His arm snaked down your body to tie around your waist, pulling your hips harshly against his. The friction built, suggesting he was hungry for more. You put a hand on his chest, pushing back. "Should we move this upstairs?" You asked as his mouth danced around your neck.

He paused, stepping away and pulling his sweater over his head, revealing a mosaic of veins and utter lust. "No," he answered roughly, "we're going to do whatever the fuck I want." He looked you up and down, watching your chest heavily rise and fall with heaving desire. Suddenly he took hold of your shoulders, harshly swaying you to the cold, concrete floor. Your hands explored the dust-covered floor as you waited patiently for his next order.

"This floor is filthy." You looked up at him quizzically.

"That's the least of your worries, love," he leered, a devilish grin spreading across his face. He began to make his way towards you. He took a moment to look you over, his eyes hungry, before kicking open your legs. "Take off your clothes." You followed his commands, removing your scrubs, leaving you in nothing but your undergarments. He slowly knelt down, pulling your hips hard enough so you were between his knees, your hands moving to slide up his jean-clad thighs, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. His eyes raked you over as you reached behind yourself to unclasp your bra as he fought back the urge to help you move faster. You shrugged the garment down your shoulders and held it by the straps dangling it for him to admire.

"There's one piece gone," you jeered seductively. He couldn't take it anymore; he needed all of you right now. He grabbed your knees and pulled you harshly towards himself, making your core ignite with desire.

"Wanna have a taste of something new?" he darkly questioned, grabbing you by your knees and spinning you so your feet were opposite to his. Climbing on top of you and grabbing your panties with his teeth as you reach up to undo his buttoned jeans. He reached up to help pull them off and returned to your panties so you both are fully nude on the basement floor.

"Fuck, it's cold," you inhaled harshly.

"It won't be for long," he whispered cooly, his mouth glazing your inner thighs teasing you. Your hands rubbing his hips. His hands gripped your hips and flipped you so that he was beneath you. Your legs straddling his head and he reached up to caress your back. You ran your hands down his stomach leaning on your elbows and knees next to him for support. Lowering yourself to his lips to feel his hot breath against your core. His tongue slowly ran along your nub causing your head to fall back aggressively. You lowered your head down to insert his cock into your mouth. His hands found their way to your hair and pushed your head down and he thrusted aggressively into your throat. You couldn't hide the choking noises coming from your mouth.

"George," you manage to speak through throaty chokes. You grab his cock and rub your spit down his length, pumping him forcefully against your hand. He continued licking your folds and sucking your clit to your pleasure. You could feel George getting harder and closer to release as he grabbed your hips and spun you back between his knees. Propping yourself up on your hands and knees he grabbed your hips for leverage before slamming himself into you. He continued to thrust feverishly into you as he wrapped your hair around his hand pulling you back, begging you to come closer to your high. Feeling yourself giving into his power you allowed a moan to escape your lips. He pounded into you until you both reached your high and rode it out together.

"So really...Corona..you go it...?" He said breathlessly.

"Yeah," you scoffed slightly before continuing, "only it's COVID-69 coursing through my veins," you winked.

He rolled his eyes. "Stop."

[gayenerd]

Green Day Deals with the "Rock Star" Dookie 

by Tom Lanham 

(First appeared in BAM Magazine, March 10, 1995)

 Young, loud, and snotty equals beaucoup bucks? What pencil-pushing, graph-charting trend spotter could've predicted it? But the facts speak for themselves: As of late February, Dookie--the brattish, snap 'n' snarl Reprise salvo from Berkeley's sloppy punk trio, Green Day--has sold six million copies. Six million. Chances are, somebody on your block is jumping up and down in his living room at this very moment to the scrap-metal power chords and ardent apathy of "Longview," "Burnout," "Basket Case," or "When I Come Around" and getting lost in the teen abandon of these testy 22-year-olds--weasel-voiced, Montgomery-Clift-like charismatic singer/guitarist Billie Joe; tom-tom tribal percussionist Tre Cool (of the ever-morphing hair-color fame); and bassist Mike Dirnt (who survived Green Day's appearance at Woodstock '94, although several of his teeth did not). 

Yes, punk rock is a marketable phenomenon these days, leaving many involved with the music's initial late-'70s, early-'80s wave scratching their heads, wondering why it didn't take the first time around. Public reaction started as curiosity ("Hey, honey, c'mere and lookit these goofy, green-haired little whippersnappers in an insane asylum on MTV!"), but spiraled up to rock-diet necessity (Green Day just won Grammy and they're nominated for quite a few Bammies as well, including such categories as Outstanding Group, Outstanding Album, and Outstanding Song--"Longview" and "Basket Case"). The fact that they've been nominated at all probably sends a shiver up the old dinosaur backbones of Eddie Money, Huey Lewis, and Boz Scaggs, a time-creepy feeling of "Gee, what the hell do we do now?" Because this isn't just some flash-in-the-pan punk movement, folks--this is a youth movement; Green Day are, as they hiply term it, "bored in the 'burbs," and reaching out, through TV and radio, like some prodigal preachers to other American kids who sense the same slacker ennui. Obviously, we're talking truckloads of kids. 

Ironically, the more fame edges into the Green Day ruffians' lives, the more mature they seem to become. They've turned down all interview requests as of late, even People magazine, preferring to lay low until this tide of interest recedes. Billie Joe got married last autumn, and spent his honeymoon--not in any exotic, expensive locale--but in Berkeley's grand old Claremont Hotel. Cool recently became a father, and Billie Joe's child is due any day now. It's a responsibility they've both eagerly undertaken. Rob Cavallo, the boys' coproducer and A&R man at Reprise, swears they're "old souls, the smartest young kids I've ever met." It rings true. 

The first time I spoke with Green Day, in January of '94, Cool, Dirnt, and Billie Joe were lazing around their dingy basement apartment in Berkeley, sitting on chairs and couches with potentially painful springs poking through. Rock 'n' roll bubblegum cards were scattered across a coffee table, along with several bongs of various sizes, plus a four-and-a-half foot red plastic pipe dubbed "Bongzilla" leaned against a doorway. The only wall decoration, besides a Ren & Stimpy poster, was a Twister game mat nailed up in its entirety, presumably for high-schoolish humor's sake. 

When I'd met Billie Joe a few months earlier at a campus concert, his hair was dyed lime-green and featured squidlike tufts. Now it was dark brown, with only two tufts remaining, and both his ears and nose had piercings. Periodically during the interview, he'd ram a finger into that pierced nostril, rummage around, then stare idly at the resultant booger before flicking it on to the carpet. Cool wandered out of the rec room for several minutes, but returned, red-eyed, to proudly proclaim, "Lookit me! I'm stoned, dude!" Dirnt--when he wasn't strumming an acoustic guitar--kept watching their windowsill Sea Monkey tank, finally noting, "Hey, these Sea Monkeys look just like sperm!" 

Despite all these schoolboy, poo-poo wit trappings (dookie, after all, is kiddie slang for excrement), there was a sense of seasoned wisdom about them, a feeling that they were, as Cavallo postulated, truly old souls. Like the class clown who frustrates all of his teachers by also maintaining a 4.0 grade average, Green Day can afford to play because their work--brilliantly skewed three-minute pop songs, delivered with such vehemence and vitriol you don't dare doubt them--certainly speaks for itself. But, sooner or later, of course, the band has to speak for itself, too, so what follows is a set of excerpts from that first ratty-digs meeting, as well as a later chat with Billie Joe, sans sidekicks. How did Green Day take over the rock world in less than a year? That's the six-million-copy question, and hopefully we'll provide a few answers. 

* * * 

So punk is back, whether America likes it or not? 

BILLIE JOE: It's always been around, and everyone has their own interpretation of it. It's weird to actually call it "punk" again, when it's been there all the time. 

MIKE DIRNT: It's been springing up in little suburban areas, where people grab it and express themselves. 

TRE COOL: It's people who make a point of setting aside all responsibilities and just playing music. And doing fat joint after fat joint--you have to let go of things like paying rent, going to school, having a job. 

BJ: And, if you can't tell by my house, we don't have a very high standard of living. 

How does today's punk rock differ from its late-'70s cousin?

 BJ: I think it was all about art and fashion back then, really, because everyone who was a punk in England was in art school. I read an early interview with Dee Dee Ramone, where he said he wished the Ramones had more of a glamorous appeal, too, instead of playing in jeans and leather jackets. But it was definitely about fashion, until the Clash really brought out the political side. Our music came from being bored in the 'burbs. You get put in this high school situation, where you're learning someone else's rules in a room with 30 other people that you don't really like. There's nothing interesting about it whatsoever, so you pick up a guitar instead. 

But you all tried college, at least for awhile, right? 

MD: And then we started touring. Constantly. 

TC: So most of our reading now comes from highway signs. 

MD: It's the old grasshopper and the ant story. The thought of actually working is just so... 

TC: Sickening! 

MD: Yeah. So we put everything we had into not working. This is what I do best, and I was always told, "If you're gonna do something, do it the best you can." So why not do the best thing you can, too? 

You guys--at least Mike and Billie Joe--have known each other since you were 10? 

BJ: And the first conversation we ever had was about writing songs. And then we just started playing music. 

A lot of the stuff on your early Lookout! records shows what was on your mind at the time--namely, girls. 

BJ: That was pretty much the viewpoint of a 16-year-old kid. I don't write stuff like that anymore. The new songs are more about coming of age and being apathetic and neurotic.

 Where were your parents when you were touring [at age 16]? 

MD: At work, doing their own thing. 

BJ: My mom's worked a waitress job for like the past 40 years or something, and whatever I was doing was OK with her. 

MD: I moved out when I was 15, and I worked all the way through high school. 

BJ: And me, I've never held a job longer than two weeks. I tried to flip pizzas--it didn't work. I tried cleaning toilets in the Red Onion in El Sobrante. Me and TrŽ, we used to work for the SF Chronicle, selling papers. I sold three the first day, and the next day we just smoked pot, and we smoked pot the next day after that. So we had hella extra papers lying around. Our ultimate goal wasn't to get rich or famous or anything like that. It was to not have a regular job and not be miserable. 

MD: And I've lived in every city around here, except for Albany. Literally. And one thing we want to establish about ourselves is that we're just a bunch of geeks from the suburbs. 

Well, one of the first times I saw you, you guys were closing your set with Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger." That's pretty geeky. 

MD: I grew up on radio--that's all I had. When I was a little kid, I couldn't afford records. I'll tell you, I've been down to a dollar in my pocket a lot of times. I've even lived in my truck. I can remember shooting rats with a BB gun in the flat we used to live in, before they'd make it to our food. 

BJ: I've always been really good about saving. If I got some money, I'd put it away instead of spending it, and I'd buy ramen. 

Why name your disc Dookie? 

TC: Warner's said we could do anything we want, as long as we didn't say "Cop Killer." 

BJ: Somebody told our manager that the ad for it was the most tasteless thing they'd ever seen in Billboard magazine. 

What exactly do you mean on Dookie by "Welcome to Paradise"? 

BJ, MD, TC [in unison]: West Oakland! 

MD: Living in West Oakland, and going out to parties every night. 

So it cost, what, around $100,000 to make Dookie? 

MD: Yeah. We kept the advances low, because you gotta pay all that shit back. Everyone knows you can't become an instant millionaire just by signing, because there are so many people that want a piece of you. 

BJ: We hang out with mostly punks though, and they don't want anything we have. They could care less. And a lot of our friends don't even agree with us being on a major label. 

Is Green Day angry? 

BJ: No, I'm not angry, like, walking around all the time with a frown on my face. But the way my music is interpreted is very angry. 

MD: When you feel really strongly about something, you want to let it out in the most powerful way possible. 

Like the way you baited your old high school principal from the Warfield stage recently? 

MD: I think he was an asshole. He treated me with no respect. And for high school initiation, we got our heads shaved--that's the kind of small-town shit we had to deal with! Sometimes they made you push a penny up the street with your nose. But that's life, and anywhere you go, you're gonna hate a lot of shit in your life. You'll be handed

Dookie? 

MD: Yeah. Yeah, you'll be handed dookie through all parts of your life. And see, what you need to do is just deal with the dookie, build upon what you have, and make something out of the dookie, you know? Like an adobe dookie building! 

* * * 

Several months later, and Dookie is oozing its gooey way into the public consciousness big time. The fading summer heat sticks crackling to the Berkeley sidewalks as punks--many sporting monstrous green or fuchsia mohawks--zing by on skateboards by day, and huddle in Telegraph Avenue doorways by night, conserving feral body heat the whole time. It feels like another world here, a throwback to the Bay Area's DIY/hardcore scene of the early '80s, when squatters reigned supreme and burlesque Broadway--fueled by all-ages shows at the Mabuhay Gardens, On Broadway, and even an occasional GBH or UK Subs booking at the Stone--made weekend conversions to "Punk Playground, USA." It was the best of times; it was the worst of times--despite relentless touring, most of these bands sold bupkus in the way of records, and few, save Metallica, ever held pen in shaky hand over a major-label contract. 

Billie Joe saunters into the Berkeley coffeehouse in rumpled jeans and a grease-spattered flannel shirt; his once-green-and-tufty tresses have grown out into Wally Cleaver waves and been dyed a Rod Stewarty blond. He looks like one of those feisty punks of yore; like he could hold his own through sheer physical endurance in the wildest of thrash pits. There's a new authority about him, the way he strides confidently to the counter, orders a pint-size glass of coffee, then swims through a sea of late-lunching yuppies to grab a table. The singer doesn't seem to notice them at all. Or maybe he's just too tired from nonstop touring to really give a shit. He smiles a goofy grin, revealing a set of generally crooked or chipped choppers, with an entire half of one front tooth missing. But there's such charisma behind it, the same kind of "Who, me?" innocence that little kids use. Billie Joe, you might say, has quickly become the Bart Simpson of the alternative set. 

How else could you explain his uncensored performance at a certain outdoor arena where--in a hyperspeed set lasting only 30 minutes before management threatened to pull the plug--he a) unzipped his fly and paraded his privates around for all to see; b) handed a stunned fan his beat-up, sticker-plastered guitar and urged him to play it; c) destroyed a $600 microphone by smashing it into the stage, then destroyed a second mike he was handed as well; and d) encouraged half the venue to chant, "Rock 'n' roll!" and the other half to respond with, "Shut the fuck up!" He then closed the show with a proposition--"They'll be really angry with us, but what we could do is rip out the seats!" he told the audience, which promptly gave Green Day a standing ovation. Billie Joe not only shrugs off such shenanigans as artistic license, he gets away with them! He's even encouraged to continue by fans who empathize with his uppity "fuck authority" attitude. 

But the facts were all on the table as Billie Joe sipped his house blend that afternoon, and it didn't take a fortune teller to read 'em. Green Day was hitting big time. Fast. And the sheer enormity of the undertaking, the weight of all its accordant responsibility, was just beginning to hit him. He looked older, wiser, and spoke in more grownup tones about his future, which then included a pending marriage to longtime girlfriend Adrienne. You could practically feel this new maturity encircling him like some protective aura. 

* * * 

=Where do all these punks on Telegraph come from? They can't all be local and homeless. 

I think Telegraph has just become this cultural mecca for punk rockers, because most of 'em who are on the Avenue aren't even from here. They're from Arizona, Minneapolis, New York, Florida. They just come out and end up squatting in houses in Berkeley. Why here? It's the climate, and the scene itself--Gilman Street and Maximum Rock 'n' Roll are in this area, and have a link to each other. But at the same time, it's separated, because there are so many different factions of punk now. There are the squatters, the pop-cores, the mods, the crusties. And all these types of people come out just to check it out. Plus, there's the best coffee in Berkeley, and a lot of 'em are real super coffee-drinkers, just pounding cup after cup all the time. It's pretty rare to come across a punk who doesn't drink coffee. I can't drink too much coffee myself--it gives me the shakes at night, so I just have a little bit during the day. Then I can smoke dope and go to bed. 

=What's the attraction in squatting or homelessness for these kids? 

For a lot of 'em, it's the first sense of freedom that they've had. It's like, "You mean I don't have to be home by midnight?" They've pretty much told their families and schools to go fuck themselves, so they go off and do their own thing. When I was 17, I did the same thing. And I had this total sense of freedom, where no one's telling you what to do, you don't have a clock to punch in on, you don't have people breathing down your neck; you don't have any deadlines to meet. You have this endless schedule where you can stay up all night drinking with your friends, or do anything you want. 

=But isn't "Coming Clean" about leaving behind your wilder ways? 

It's also about coming to grips with your sexuality. There's one line, "Skeletons come to life in my closet." And it's like, "Am I homosexual or heterosexual?" You go through this adolescent stage in your life where you don't really know what you are, and one side is taboo because your parents brought you up to think being gay was wrong. And if you come to grips with yourself, that you happen to be gay or bi or whatever, well, that was one thing about punk that was so accepting--all creeds were welcome, all sexualities, everything. 

=Was this something you went through personally? 

Yeah, to a certain extent. But I don't want to go around waving a gay flag or anything. 

=Well, you had a beautiful girl on your arm backstage at the last Green Day show. 

That's Adrienne. She's cool. Actually, we're engaged. That's why it took me so long getting here today--I had to get this! [Rolls sleeve up on tattooed arm, points to a bandaged-on cotton swab] Blood test, dude! We're getting married next week! 

=Has anybody tried to tell you you're too young for such a serious move? 

Of course. There are a lot of people who've said stuff. My parents have been a little more understanding than her parents. I just called my mom yesterday and said, "Mom, I'm gettin' married," and she said, "That's fine, son. Have fun!" I can hardly surprise my mother nowadays. But [this relationship] has been a recurring thing for the past four years, and we just decided to get serious about it. She's coming out here, and we're moving in together, so it's like, "Why not?" I don't really have any wild oats to sow, or anything like that. I'm not into the "Gettin' chicks all the time" thing.

 =I know a lot of girls who'll be really bummed that you're gittin' hitched. They all seem to have developed a crush on you... 

Me?! It must be the teeth [grins again].

 =OK, so maybe you didn't brush often enough when you were young. But you were busy developing a direction... 

I wouldn't necessarily say I had a direction or anything. I just knew I wanted to write songs. It comes from...uh...I don't know. I have no idea. It wasn't any kind of cosmic force or anything like that; it was just a matter of having a guitar around and wanting to play it all the time. I've had the same guitar since I was 11--I bought it off this guy at a guitar store. And I still play it--you know, the blue one with stickers all over it? That's my blue guitar, and, for some reason, things come to life, and everyone calls it "Blue" now--"Where's Blue? Can I pick up Blue and play it?" 

=And you let just anybody touch it? 

Oh yeah! Blue's not prejudiced. 

=It's interesting to note that the general public seems to think Dookie is your debut. 

Yeah, but that's just the general public. There are people who've been with us since the beginning, who know how long we've been around, since our first 7-inch came out back in '89. 

=And now you can afford to trash pricey microphones. 

Actually, Warner Brothers paid for those. It was pretty nice of 'em. They looked really nice--I remember looking at 'em and thinking, "Nice microphones!" They gave me one mike and I took it and threw it down, and they gave me another, and at the end of the set I creamed it pretty hard, I guess. We toured Europe with this band Die Toten Hosen--we played nine dates with 'em--and we got charged for a microphone every night. I dunno, for some reason we just started smashing shit. We'd start throwing equipment around at the end of each set, and these kids would start grabbing Tre's drum set and throwing it, and then they started smashing the microphones too. And the bouncers just couldn't do anything about it. 

=And you actually yanked your dick out onstage too? 

I did. Totally. It was the real thing. I dunno. The bands that we were playing with were just boring. It was more like making a mockery of the whole thing. The big arena rock thing is just so dated now, like Journey or Queen. Which is why I think punk rock started to begin with--it was this reaction to all the dinosaur bands. So for me, that show was, "How can we make a complete mockery of this but at the same time have fun with it?" I like to leave people guessing, "Did he hate that or did he like that?" It's not that I don't care--it's more that I'm careless. I try to be as happy-go-lucky as I can, but you can become apathetic at the same time. 

=Do you feel like Green Day is a part of, or represents, the so-called "slacker generation"? 

There's one side of me that doesn't mind it, because it's a generational thing, and another side of me that says, "Fuck that!" The reason I wrote the songs is, I ended up going back to Rodeo, where I'm from, for a week. And then I said, "Fuck it," and left. But I managed to get several good songs out of it. A lot of my friends had just turned into complete burnouts. And these are kids I've known since kindergarten, because it's a small town and you know everybody. And it was all fixing cars, staying up all night on methamphetamines, smoking dope, and finding out all these rumors about people I haven't heard of in 10 years. Like, "Oh, did you hear about so-and-so, who got married, had three kids, and ended up shooting everybody in his family?" And it happened! It was a true story! You're there for one week, and you get caught up in it. You get so bored, all you wanna do is watch television. And there are no record stores, nothing around, so you end up hanging out with all these delinquents who aren't punkers at all, just cultural idiots. So I was watching all these people rot and rotting with them until I realized, "Shit! I gotta get the fuck outta here!" 

=As they say, you can never go home again. 

Oh yeah, definitely. Unless you get pregnant, like my sister did. Then you have to go. But I quit school my senior year--I just wasn't getting anything out of it. I was taking nine periods a day, plus night classes, which left me no time to smoke dope whatsoever. And my mom even suggested I drop out, because she was a dropout, too. I come from a long line of dropouts. I still have nightmares about being late with my homework assignments. When I finally went in to sign out of high school, the teacher went, "Now, who are you again?" 

=And if that teacher could see you now! 

A lot of people think you get this big connection with a corporate label, and you make millions of dollars, but they don't understand that you just don't make that much money. And when you do, it's easy to piss it away. I mean, every cent that I've made, I've pissed away. I'm not gonna say how I did it, but I don't have it But I don't think you necessarily have to be a punk to decide to say, "Fuck it." You don't even have to have a direction. It's just a matter of getting the fuck out and exploring things for yourself. 

=But didn't you feel abject terror when you first set out on your own? 

Nah, I didn't. Because, for some reason, I knew things were gonna be all right. You can create your own future as long as karma's on your side. And I'm a strong believer in karma. I think things can come back to you if you're just willing to give. 

* * * 

True enough. At least six million times over!

1995 Tom Lanham

[atths--twice]

Onto the next story. 

Okay... I posted this in April, both as an Easter story and as an ask for more quarantine related stories. I hope you enjoy it. 

Easter in the Time of Quarantine    4/8

In the wake of the Coronavirus, Scully, Mulder, and Faith have self-quarantined in the Unremarkable House. It has been a few weeks and now Easter has arrived, and with it, some surprises... 

March 2020

Scully sat at the dining room table reading some news articles on her phone, her stomach becoming more and more agitated as she did so. Hearing Faith laugh, she looked up and smiled as she watched Mulder building with her soft blocks and then knocking them down.

Looking back at the article, she sighed and shook her head. Reaching for a pen, she began to make a list of things they would need to buy. There were many items added to it and she sighed as she looked at it, but she knew they would be needed, and possibly for a long time.

Two pages were filled before she looked up again, watching Mulder and Faith playing, Bella rolling around beside them. He was telling her a story as they built with the blocks and used the dolls from the dollhouses. Scully smiled at them and then sighed, knowing they needed to get up and get moving.

Standing up, Bella turned around and ran over to her, barking as she wiggled her entire body, looking for some pets. Scully bent down and pet her, scooping her up to bring her back over to Mulder and Faith.

She sat down and held Bella in her lap, smiling at the two of them as they played. Mulder looked up and smiled at her with a wink. She sighed and he tilted his head.

“Everything okay?”

“For now, but we need to do some shopping.” He stared at her and she sighed again. “That Coronavirus, Mulder, it’s… it’s going to be bad.

“What?”

“We need to go get some things, stock up on items, and then stay here for a while. We need to self-quarantine.” She stared at him and he looked at Faith, then back at her. She nodded and he exhaled.

Standing up, he picked up Faith and twirled her around. Scully stood up too, placing Bella in her kennel. He caught Scully’s eye again and she nodded, taking the list out of her pocket.

“Okay, let’s do this.”

They left the house, Scully filling him in on the articles she had read. He shook his head, his hands gripping the steering wheel as he exhaled.

“So, what’s happening? A vaccine?”

“No. It’s an unknown virus, so we don’t have a known vaccine, not yet. And one wouldn’t be available for a while. Honestly, with this administration, the way it has been presented… I don’t know what to think about anything. It’s best for us to be proactive and preemptive.”

“Yeah. We should call Skinner. Let him know too. He and Rachel were going to come over in a couple of weeks. If we’re in self-quarantine, it wouldn’t be smart to have them over. Plus, they should know to stock up too,” he said and she nodded in agreement as she reached for her phone.

They were systematic with their shopping; going to the warehouse center for things like toilet paper, hand soap, hand sanitizer, laundry soap, antibacterial wipes, diapers, wipes, and bottles of water. Large amounts of nonperishable food and some perishables were added, before they moved to another store for other items.

Baby food, dog food, a couple of boxes of latex gloves and face masks, alcohol, peroxide, bandages, and medicine for both them and Faith. They walked down the holiday aisle and Mulder grabbed random bags of chocolate, smiling at her as he did. She smiled back and reached for a small Easter basket, a pack of plastic eggs, and a pink floppy eared bunny, setting them in the cart for Faith. Just in case.

Most of the items on the list crossed off, they left the store and headed for home. Faith fell asleep on the way back and they left her in the car as they unloaded it, each of them walking in and out of the house. When they were finished, Mulder took her carefully from the car seat, and brought her upstairs to hopefully stay asleep for a little while.

He came back downstairs, and took Bella out to pee, before they began to take stock of what they had and what else they would need. They discussed if they should get another refrigerator, just to be safe.

“If it’s going to be a long time, Scully… I think it might be a good idea. We’ll run out of room in this fridge. Or maybe we upgrade this one and then move the old one to the basement.”

“I don’t think we need to bother with that, but an extra one in the basement would be a good idea. Something basic. This has really got me worried, Mulder. A virus… if not properly handled… thousands of people could die. Hundreds of thousands.” She shook her head and sighed deeply. He came over and held her, taking a deep breath as they stood quietly, both of them worried.

As the days progressed, the news was constantly playing in the background. She read many articles, sighing and shaking her head a lot. Things were not being handled properly and she could see the path it was going to take as a result of it.

They bought that new refrigerator and had it placed in the basement. It was filled with extra frozen foods and perishable items. They had everything they needed, all they could do was wait it out and be sure they were safe.

Being people who were comfortable at home, and ones who had been in many forced quarantines, they found the time together easy to endure. There were some days though, when they needed some time apart; a nap or a walk separately, and then they would come back feeling better.

“I’m glad Faith isn’t older and she’s happy and easily entertained with these simple activities,” Scully said one day, as they walked slowly down their road. Faith toddled along, touching flowers and picking up rocks, handing them to Scully with a smile. She smiled back and placed them into her pocket.

“I’m glad we don’t have to deal with school activities,” Mulder said with a sigh, holding onto Bella’s leash.

“Please, we’re both extremely intelligent. We could handle becoming her stand-in teachers for a little while,” she said with a scoff. “We teach her every day as it is.”

“Yes we do, I know that. But teach her that “new math”? I don’t think so, Scully,” he scoffed back and she laughed. “Seriously, have you seen it? It’s…” He shook his head and she laughed again.

“I think you would be very good at it,” she told him, looping her arm through his. “You see things differently than others, you always have. I’m sure “new math” would be a breeze.”

“Why thank you, but I’m content that it’s still a few years away. It gives me more time to prepare.” They both laughed and continued on their leisurely daily excursion.

Coming home, Scully emptied her pockets and set the rocks Faith had collected on their walk into the garden. She smiled as she did, knowing Faith would not remember them, but she would. She would remember this day, this time when things slowed down, and simple pleasures could be found together.

Dinner was eaten, a bath given, and books read before Faith was put down for the night. They came back downstairs, scrolled through Netflix for what felt like the millionth time, and found nothing that caught their eye. Mulder looked at her and she smiled, the remote cast aside as she climbed into his lap, and pressed her lips to his.

A new month began and with it more of the same. They did little projects around the house, went for walks, played with Faith, had picnics out in the yard, went for drives to the top of the hill, watching the stars at night and talking about nothing in particular.

And sex… they had a lot of sex.

Scully smiled as she watched Bella running around the yard, happy they had gotten the fence put up a couple of months ago.

“Bell,” Faith said, sitting beside her on the porch, pointing at Bella as Mulder threw the ball for her to chase.

“Yes, it’s Bella. Daddy and Bella are playing with the ball. It’s a green ball,” Scully answered, putting her arm around her.

“Bell. Ball.”

“Good girl. You’re so smart, my love,” she said, lifting her into her lap and holding her close, closing her eyes as she breathed in her baby scent.

She was hardly a baby anymore, at eighteen months old, but she still thought of her as her baby, even as she changed almost daily. She still saw the big blue-eyed baby girl, who looked at the world in wonder. She knew that would never change; she would always be her baby.

But, time truly did fly. Even if she wanted to slow it down, it would not. She looked at Faith’s hands, rubbing her small fingers, feeling all the bones under her skin, saying them under her breath from memory.

“Mama,” Faith said quietly and Scully smiled, wrapping her arms around her, rocking and humming softly. She kissed the top of her head and whispered she loved her.

Bella came up to the porch, the ball in her mouth, and dropped it down as she sat beside them. Her tongue lolled out as she panted tiredly and Faith laughed, reaching out to touch her head.

“Bell. Ball,” she said again, and Scully smiled as Bella licked her hand excitedly, her whole body wiggling.

“They are quite possibly the cutest duo. Aside from us, of course,” Mulder teased with a smile, as he stood at the bottom of the stairs. Scully smiled at him and he winked. “Think I’m gonna go for a run. Is that okay?”

“Of course,” she said with a nod. “We’re good here.”

“Great. I’ll go get changed.” He stepped past them and went inside to put on his running clothes.

“Good. I’m glad he’s leaving. We have something to make for Daddy while he’s gone. It’ll be a nice surprise for Easter tomorrow, my sweet,” Scully whispered in Faith’s ear. “We’ll have to be fast.”

As Mulder left, kissing them both goodbye, Scully got up and brought Faith and Bella into the house, and closed the door. Setting Faith down on the floor by her toys, she went into the office and opened the closet door, taking out the paper and art supplies she had bought.

Setting it down on the table, she looked over at Faith who was looking at her books, Bella lying tiredly on her dog bed. Smiling at them, she got the paper ready and then the paints. Picking up Faith, they washed their hands together, bringing the paper towels to the table.

“Now, we’re going to make something for your Daddy. And it’s going to be a little strange, but we’ll be as fast as we can,” Scully said, as they sat down at the table.

She picked up a paintbrush and dipped it into the bottle of paint, the color of a blue sky. Holding Faith’s right hand still, she painted her palm, and each finger. Faith tried to close her hand, but Scully kept her hand open, talking soothingly to her as she did.

“Okay, now, here we go.” She set the paintbrush down, brought the paper closer to them, and pressed Faith’s hand onto the middle of the paper, holding it down tightly. Lifting it slowly, she smiled as she saw the perfect handprint left on the paper.

“Uh oh,” Faith said, looking at her hand and showing it to Scully, who laughed softly.

“It’s okay, love. Look, we’ll just wipe it off.” She took some paper towels and wiped her hands clean, to Faith’s great astonishment. “See? All clean. But we aren’t done yet.”

Picking up a different paintbrush, she painted her little thumb white and pressed it to the paper, near the bottom. Wiping it clean, she painted her other fingers yellow, pressing the four of them, separately, beside the white thumbprint. Smiling, she carried her to the sink and washed her hands, removing any traces of the paint.

Twirling her around the room, she kissed her cheeks and tickled her, her giggles waking Bella, who stood up to see what all the fuss was about. Setting Faith on the floor, she gave Bella a pet, and handed Faith a book.

Stepping over to the table, she picked up the paint brushes and took them to the sink to rinse them off. When they were clean, she walked back to the table, dried the paint brushes off and closed up the paints they had used. Putting it all away, she moved the picture to a shelf to dry, a place Mulder would not look.

Coming back to the kitchen, she washed her hands and got a snack ready for Faith. She brought it over to her, and they sat together on the floor, eating as they played with her toys and read some books.

Mulder came home a few minutes later, sweaty and happy, heading upstairs for a shower. Scully smiled at Faith, knowing they had a secret for him that he would love when it was ready.

They had dinner, put Faith to bed, and as Mulder cleaned the kitchen, Scully took out the Easter basket she had picked out weeks ago, just in case. She set it on the table and put the pink bunny inside, along with an applesauce pouch, a pack of goldfish crackers, and a couple of the plastic eggs.

“Hide them inside or outside?” she asked as she turned to Mulder. He dried his hands and smiled as he walked over to her, pulling her in for an embrace.

“Quarantine be damned, we’re having Easter,” he said with a chuckle.

“You’re goddamn right. We need to celebrate the holidays, even if it’s only a small celebration,” she responded and he nodded.

“You’re right. I think inside would be best. It will either rain or be hot, so I think inside would be good.”

“Okay. Here,” she said, handing him half of the eggs, and they happily set about hiding them in places Faith could find them.

“You know, when I was younger and we dyed eggs, I always loved watching the tablet combine with the water and vinegar, the smell of it to this day, tied to those memories,” she said with a smile, remembering the sound of the tablet fizzing.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” he said with a smile of his own. “The woman who became a scientist, enjoyed watching a chemical reaction? Shocking.” She threw an egg at him and he laughed, placing it on the floor by the television.

“What was your favorite color of dye?” he asked and she smiled.

“Blue. I liked that it was so dark, you didn’t really know what color it was until you scooped it onto the spoon,” she said, thinking about those days of crowding around the table with coffee mugs full of dye, with a spoon in each one.

“A spoon? Didn’t you use that little egg hook thing?”

“One egg hook thing? Or even two? For four children?” She looked at him with her eyebrows raised and he laughed.

“Point taken,” he said, hiding the last egg as she did the same.

“Next year… next year we can dye eggs, but not this year,” she said with a sigh.

“No. This year would not be wise. Her age and the need for uncooked eggs.”

“Yeah,” she sighed again.

“Hey,” he said softly and she looked up at him. He smiled and she nodded.

“I know. I’m okay.”

He came over and wrapped his arms around her, both of them holding onto one another and sighing.

“It’s going to be okay. We’re safe, well supplied, no need to go out for a while, and we have protective covering for when we do,” he murmured into her hair and she nodded, holding him tight. Pulling back, she looked up at him and he smiled, bending his head to kiss her lips.

“Come on, let’s finish up anything down here and head to bed.”

“You go on up, there isn’t anything really to do down here,” she said, stepping back and looking around.

“Scully…”

“I want to send Louise an email and see how she’s doing. I know she’s with Marcus, but just wanted to check in and send her a few new pictures of Faith,” she told him with a smile.

“No news articles,” he warned her with his eyebrows raised and she nodded, stepping close and kissing him again.

“No. I promise.”

“Okay then." He smiled and squeezed her hand.

“I won’t be long,” she assured him and he nodded as he went upstairs.

When he was gone, she went into the office and opened the laptop, intent on actually sending Louise an email on top of her plan for Mulder’s gift. Typing out the email and selecting a couple of pictures, she sent it off with a smile.

Sticking to her promise, she closed the laptop and listened to hear if Mulder had come back downstairs. Finding it quiet, she took down the picture she had made with Faith, and set it on the desk.

With a green marker, she added a stem and petals to the blue handprint, turning it into a flower, and then drew grass all along the bottom of the paper. To the white thumbprint, she used a black marker and turned it into a bunny, adding ears, a face, whiskers, and a tail. The yellow fingerprints became little chicks with wings, beaks, and little stick legs.

At the top of the picture, she wrote Hoppy Easter. Smiling at it, she knew Mulder would get a kick out of it, as he did so love corny puns. At the bottom she wrote Love, Faith. 2020.

Standing up, she opened the closet and took out the frame she had purchased for it and had already cleaned. Setting the picture inside, she placed the back on the frame and turned it over, smiling as she looked at it. Putting it back in the closet until tomorrow, she cleaned up the markers, and turned off the light.

Putting Bella in her kennel, with a few good night pets, she headed upstairs to bed.

______

“Mama. Mama. Bell. Dada. Up.”

Scully opened her eyes to the sound of Faith speaking through the monitor. She smiled as she stretched and listened to her calling for them.

“Third choice,” Mulder said behind her. “She even asked for Bella over me.” Scully laughed and turned over to look at him, and he shook his head with a mock heavy sigh. “Third choice, Scully.” She laughed again and snuggled close, wrapping her arm around his waist.

“Well, you're my first choice. Does that count for anything?” she teased, as he put his arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

“I guess." He sighed again, and she pinched him, causing him to yelp.

“Mama. Up. Mama,” Faith said again and he whined.

“Oh, stop it,” she said with a giggle, kissing his neck as she pulled away from him, and got out of bed.

Walking into Faith’s room, she found her lying sideways on her back, her feet up on the wall through the crib slats, as she continued to talk to herself. When she heard Scully’s voice, she turned over and scrambled to her feet with a huge smile.

“Mama,” she said, her arms out. “Up.”

“Good morning, my sweet girl,” she said, lifting her out of the crib and squeezing her tight. “Let’s change your diaper and we’ll go see Daddy.”

“Dada.”

“Yes!” They heard Mulder say from the bedroom and Scully laughed.

Changed and redressed, she brought her into their bed, Mulder reaching for Faith as she was set down. She crawled over to him and he pulled her up to lay on his chest. She put her head down and he stroked her hair, as Scully grabbed her phone to take some pictures.

“I was sure she was going to ask for Bella,” he said with a wink to Scully, who shook her head with a smile.

They all went downstairs a few minutes later, Mulder in front as Faith held onto the railing, going down the steps one at a time, as Scully followed behind.

“That’s it. You got it, sweetie. Hold on and take your time. Good girl,” Mulder said, grinning at her.

They made it down and he lifted her up, spinning her around, kissing her all over her face. She laughed and Bella barked excitedly in her kennel.

“Bell,” Faith said, pointing at her and then looking at Mulder. “Out.”

“Her vocabulary is expanding every day. I love to hear it,” he said and Scully agreed. “I’ll take Bella out and then we can eat, okay? Do you want to come outside with me?”

“Out,” she said with a nod.

“See?” Scully said with a grin. “She wants to be with you, you big baby.”

“Ha!” he answered as he Faith and opened the kennel. Bella licked them both with her usual happy body wiggle. “Or it’s because I’ve got Bell with me.”

“Shut up and take her outside,” she said, shaking her head with a smile.

“All right, let’s go ladies.” He opened the door and stopped as Bella ran out. He called Scully over and when she joined him, tears filled her eyes at what she saw.

On the porch, sat a large pink Easter basket filled with items, wrapped in cellophane, and Faith’s name written on an envelope with a bunny on it.

“That’s Skinner’s handwriting,” Mulder murmured and she nodded in agreement, wiping at her eyes. “Those two…” He shook his head as he reached for it and sighed.

“Wait,” Scully said. “I know they were most likely cautious, but let us be so as well.” She took out two gloves and slid them on, grabbing the basket and setting it to the railing as they stepped out onto the porch.

“I wonder when he did this,” she said, reaching for the card and opening it. “Happy Easter, little one. Didn’t seem right to not get you something, despite what’s going on in the world, so here’s a few gifts from Uncle Walter and Auntie Rachel. Everything has been sanitized and wrapped while we wore gloves and masks. We love and miss you.” Mulder…” She took a shaky breath and used her shirt to wipe her eyes.

“Well, Faithy… you really are a very loved little girl. We will need to call them later,” he said, emotion in his voice. She nodded and let out a breath.

“I’ll take this inside and unwrap it. Throw the ball for Bella for a few minutes, get some of her energy out. I’ll bring Faith her milk,” she told him, carrying the basket inside and setting it on the floor.

Setting the card on the table, she took out some scissors and cut the cellophane off and threw it away. Looking at what was inside the basket, she shook her head with a smile. A couple of books, some large toddler sized crayons, a coloring book, snacks they knew she liked, a puzzle, and a few plastic Easter eggs. There was also a bag of dark chocolate eggs and a bag of sunflower seeds with a note that read: For Mommy and Daddy.

Shaking her head again, she took off her gloves, threw them away, and washed her hands. Taking out a disinfectant wipe, she wiped the handle and the bottom of the basket, before setting it on the table. She looked over at the front door and saw Mulder holding Faith and throwing the ball for Bella. Seeing her window of opportunity, she hurried into the office and took out the picture for him, setting it on the table, with a candle behind it to hold it up.

She filled Faith’s cup with milk and brought it out to her, then went back inside to get breakfast ready. As she finished mixing the batter for pancakes, the door opened and Bella rushed in to get some water. Scully turned with a smile to greet them and instead she gasped in surprise.

Mulder was walking toward her with two vases of an assortment of wildflowers in his hands and a smile on his face. Faith walked in front of him, holding her cup of milk in her hands.

“What? Where did you get those? You didn’t go out to a shop?” she asked, walking toward him and he shook his head.

“No. I wouldn’t have done that.”

“Then where… down the road,” she said with a smile as it came to her, and he nodded.

“And up the hill,” he added, and she shook her head.

“When you went on your run? And you hid them in the shed?” she asked and he winked with a nod. “Sneaky man. I love them.” Placing her hands on his chest, she raised up to kiss him.

“Speaking of sneaky, what is this?” he asked, as he set the vases on the table.

“Faithy, want to show Daddy your present for him?” she asked, picking her up and sitting down at the table as Mulder joined her and picked up the picture.

“Uh oh,” Faith said, pointing at the picture and Scully laughed.

“What?” he asked.

“That’s what she said when I painted her hand to get the handprint for the flower,” she explained with another chuckle. “Her hand was covered in paint and she showed it to me, and said uh oh.” He chuckled with her and stroked Faith’s face.

“Hoppy Easter. Like a bunny. I love it.”

“Of course you do,” she said, rolling her eyes with a smile.

“It’s a very beautiful uh oh,” he said, with a kiss to Faith’s head. “Thank you, Squatch. Now it’s your turn. Here, honey.”

He pulled the basket Scully had filled last night closer to her and let her examine it. She reached for the goldfish crackers first, and handed them to Mulder.

“More,” she said and signed for them. He laughed and opened them, letting her take one from the bag. She shoved it in her mouth and wiggled her body.

“I should wash my hands,” he said, handing her the bag of crackers. “I rinsed them outside, but I should wash them.” He stood up and went to the sink as Faith ate a few more crackers.

“How about this, my love?” Scully asked, taking the pink bunny from the basket. “It’s a bunny. A pink bunny.” She handed it to Faith and she stared at it and then hugged it, before staring at it again.

“Buh-e,” she said, looking at Scully, and lifting the bunny. “Buh-e.”

“Yes. A bunny. Such a good girl,” she said, holding her close, a smile on her face.

She discovered the eggs and then Scully set her down so she could find the others around the room. Breakfast forgotten for the time being, they all went on an egg hunt, even rescuing one from Bella who had already chewed most of it, causing Mulder to check her mouth for green plastic pieces. Shaking his head, he tossed the egg in the trash and washed his hands again.

“Whatever we missed, we’ll see again soon, I’m sure,” he said with a sigh and Scully laughed with a nod.

Her phone rang, and then the iPad. Mulder grabbed it and the basket off the table, joining them on the living room floor. Pushing the green accept button, they saw Walter and Rachel waving happily to them. Faith stood up and peered closely into the screen, causing them all to laugh.  

Excited words tumbled out from both parties, everyone happy to see each other. Faith smiled at them and waved, looking close at the screen a few times. She opened her gifts and looked in amazement at all of them, spending a long time looking at the book with animals, and they all smiled as they watched her.

Despite the happiness, there remained an undercurrent of worry in everyone’s eyes and the way they would sigh heavily at times. For a little while however, that was pushed to the background as they did something normal, in spite of their distance from one another. They teased, laughed, and caught up, happy to know there was another out there, in a world that for the moment, felt so small and isolating.

They would get through this by being apart, and next year they would all get together.

With a large basket full of brightly colored dyed eggs.

And a ham. And mashed potatoes.

[justanalto]

quarantine tag game

i was tagged by @crazyrichfilipinos (hi and ty!) 

1. Are you staying home from work/school?

yup. no school, no temp assignments...just a big ole unemployment void. so this is what it’ll be like when i’m older. 

2. If you’re staying at home, who’s there with you?

the other three members of my family and the voices of everyone my mom calls on the daily. 

3. Do you have pets to keep you company?

no, and i really wish i had at least a hamster. a dog would be preferable. i’d even take a cat.

4. What do you miss the most?

i miss a lot of things. i think mainly i just miss having a sense of purpose? i got caught in the unemployment crossfire (without actually being able to file for unemployment welp) and everyone else in my house is learning online/working while i’m just kinda...floating around doing nothing. 

5. When was the last time you left your home?

march 14. i went to the gym and picked up some picture frames from ikea, and the next day began the stay-at-home advisory. the last time i physically left the house was about two weeks ago, when i went photographing, touched the ground and subsequently panicked about getting sick for the next week. (this was fueled by my mom’s reaction and i know she’s right but also still it’s a Lot)

6. What was the last thing you brought?

overcooked and overcooked 2 for steam baby! they were both on sale and i’ve just been playing with my friends. about to buy jackbox 5 tho cause it’s also on sale and might debut it at my possible zoom grad party.

7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed?

i have never been less relaxed because literally every anxiety is in play every single moment of the day

8. Are you a homebody?

i used to be! then i went to college and all that stuff. home is a great base to touch in on every now and again, but being home requires me to take up a specific role that i’m not comfortable being in for the rest of my life. i also fell in love with travelling, so...no, I guess? i’m a homebody in the sense that I enjoy quiet nights in. but other than that let me out of here please i’m begging you

9. What are movies you have watched recently?

PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE. THE GAY. oh! and saving face, because bitches can’t WAIT for the half of it! it’s me. i’m bitches. 

my ultimate goal is to work through the list of movies i want to watch (snowpiercer, parasite, knives out, to all the boys 2, etc.) and then work my way back through the movies i haven’t seen in a long time (princess diaries 1 + 2, all three Lilo and Stitches, camp rock)

10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled?

just...everything. commencement ball. commencements parts I-IV. the acapella concerts I was supposed to see my friends at because it was their last hurrah. the conference where I was supposed to present the thesis project that stripped me of my mental health during my last semester of college! my friend and I were supposed to go see AJR in may. we were all supposed to throw grad parties. class of 2020 really got gypped y’all. the start of a marketing position i’d just secured with a temp company. 

11. What’s the worst thing you’ve had to cancel?

probably commencement. it was supposed to be a last hurrah with my friends because I wouldn’t have hung out with them since i left uni the semester before. our crowning achievement, if you will. the defining moment that said yes, despite every piece of drama and every bit of trauma along the way, we made it and we’re ready to fuck up the world. the crowning glory. and now all of that’s been stripped away and instead, society’s just going to throw us into the dry pool called the job market. commencement was supposed to be the breath of air before we went back to trying to swim against a current. now it’s just a continuous struggle that won’t be made better because no one can retire. plus the market, which is normally fucked for creatives, is going to be extra fucked because no company has ‘money’.  

12. What’s the best thing you’ve had to cancel?

uhhhh...i mean i guess when you put it that way, it would be the research conference. i was not ready to turn my brain back into academic mode. 

13. Do you have any new hobbies?

not new hobbies per se...just re-picked up a lot of old ones? knitting, writing, photography. folding stars. all sort of muscle memory things you can do while binge-watching TV. i’m in the process of making jars of little stars for my senior friends because they’re ‘senior stars’! cue ‘we’re all in this together’. 

but in all seriousness (and cheesiness, sorry guys) i wanted to make them something that was decorative and cute and reminded them that they were important. like stars. and just as like. a present. ‘cause they deserve that. 

14. What are you out of?

serotonin, dopamine and a will to live, almost. i’m so tired y’all.

15. What music are you listening too?

mostly my current music playlist, but i’m trolling my friends’ playlists too. i am repeating “complicated” from sex&drugs&rock&roll, though, mainly because i’m resonating with it so deeply to the point where i want to cry. and am unable to. as one does.

16. What shows are you watching?

a lot of the shows i watch ended production early so that’s really no more for grey’s...ok basically just grey’s ended early but i’m still watching 9-1-1 because they’re still producing regularly. b99 is too but I think they’re just about to wrap up. i’ve been meaning to start the recent season of odaat but i’ve just been watching the old episodes on netflix because idt we can get poptv. 

i started rewatching victorious, i’m at a pause with dynasty and sex&drugs&rock&roll mainly because of formatting. does anyone have any tv recs? 

17. What are you reading?

i’ve been meaning to start into the interior by michelle cliff, and after that i’d really like to re-read ‘i hate everyone but you’ by gaby dunn and allison raskin. i’d like more gay books tho.

18. What are you doing for self care?

watching a lot of the try guys. in the middle of trying to reset my sleeping clock tho.

19. Are you exercising?

i....am. mainly because not exercising makes me feel worse about myself and i can already sense the hell i’m going to catch if I don’t look good for my cousin’s wedding. (we’re gonna assume it happens.) 

20. How’s your toilet paper supply?

when we first started this whole thing, i looked in the basement and uh...let’s just say we’re gonna be pretty okay for a while. still hasn’t stopped me from monitoring my sheet usage though.

21. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine?

i cut my hair short just before quarantine, actually! so i’ve sort of been revelling in that. if this goes on for a while longer i might trim it myself, just because i would rather stay short than go long again for the sake of my own sanity. 

tagging: @agentmmayy @peacequack @lalalyds2 @the-writer-girl-nerd and anyone else that feels like doing this lovely quarantine tag or is slowly trying not to go insane

[superfreakerz]

TDDUP 10

"Til Death Do Us Part"

Rated M for smut and heavy themes.

Reincarnation/Immortality AU.

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it's best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a mischievous boy with pink hair, a devilish smile, and a body that never ages.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 11

Natsu's Apartment

As sunlight filtered through the cracks of her curtains, birds chirping their little tunes, Lucy snuggled closer to her pillow, a pleasant smile glued to her face. Her pillow was firm, her blankets were keeping her nice and warm, and Plue was perfectly snuggled between her arms in a tight embrace.

Lucy's eyes shot open.

Plue.

Plue was her puppy from her first lifetime. He wasn't around anymore.

So what was she cuddling against?

Lucy's eyes slowly trailed towards the object she was holding, which was firm beneath her. She was met with pink tufts of hair and Natsu's face as he peacefully slept, his arm tucked under her head as a pillow.

Lucy then let out a scream loud enough for all of Fiore to hear.

Scrambling out of bed, the blonde backed away until she was pressed against a wall. Her eyes were as wide as golf balls and her mouth was hung open like a fish out of water as she stared at the boy, who was now cracking a yawn and waking up.

Natsu blinked once, then twice before glancing at Lucy. Then, a wide grin spread over his face.

"Mornin', Luce!" he said with a nonchalant wave.

Lucy was struggling to form words. "Wha- What are you… What the hell are you doing sleeping in my bed!? What are you, some kind of pervert!? Get the hell out of here!"

"Oi! I ain't no pervert! That's all Gray!"

"Natsu! What are you doing here!?"

The boy shrugged. "I was bored and I wanted to hang out. So, I came here and saw that you were sleepin' still, so I was gonna let you get all the time you can to sleep. You're welcome."

"I'm welcome!? Natsu, that is breaking and entering! How did you even manage to get in here? Did you pick the lock!?" Lucy screeched, pacing around her room and flailing her arms everywhere.

"'Course not, ya weirdo! I climbed through the window like any other person would!"

"The… The window? Natsu, I live on the second floor, there's no way you would've been able to-" But sure enough, her window was opened a smidge and her doors were still locked. "H-How did you manage to…" She was at a loss for words.

"I climbed, duh."

"Natsu. You cannot just break into my apartment and sleep in my bed with me. Don't tell me you're too much of an idiot to realize that."

"I don't see what the big deal is. All we did was sleep. And I've been here a few times already."

"That's not the point! I-!"

Lucy glanced down at herself, remembering that she had just woken up. Adorned in pink, fluffy pajama pants and a white tank top, her hair a tangled mess, the girl closed her mouth and rushed to get a change of clothes. Running into the bathroom, she locked the door and leaned against it.

Waking up with her crush in her bed was not how she was expecting to wake up that morning, and she certainly didn't want to be seen a mess.

After changing into a pair of black shorts with daisies printed over them and a white tank-top, Lucy braided her hair to the side and brushed her teeth. Feeling refreshed, she headed out, ready to beat some sense into Natsu.

That feeling grew tenfold once she found him reading her journal.

"That's it!" Lucy shouted, rushing towards him. She kicked the side of his face, sending him flying out of the chair as she yelled, "Lucy Kick!"

Natsu yelped, falling straight on his ass and holding his cheek, which was sure to swell. "What the hell was that for, you crazy woman!?"

"I'm crazy!? You're the one that broke into my apartment and read my story!"

"It's not breaking in if I don't steal anything!"

"Yes it is!"

Natsu crossed his arms with a pout, glaring at the wall. "I just wanted to spend some time with you. That too much to ask for?"

"It is if you're breaking in," Lucy answered. She pinched the bridge of her nose. Then, she recalled their conversation from last night. A sinister grin stretched over her face, which was an unusual look for her as she said, "It's okay though. Because it's time I get my revenge!"

"What do you mean?"

"You're taking me to your apartment, remember? Once I find out where you live, I can break in any time I want!"

Natsu frowned immediately. With a churning stomach, he rubbed the back of his head. He forgot that was happening. Luckily, he prepared for this last night.

Once he returned to Fairy Tail after hanging out at Lucy's apartment, Natsu rushed towards the basement and barged into Erza and Levy's shared room. After Erza promptly bashed his head against the wall for entering without knocking, he explained the whole situation to them.

"You invited her over?" Erza asked in bewilderment, punching him for his mistake. "Natsu! Why would you invite her over if you don't have an apartment to show her!?"

"I don't know! She was really persistent since we keep goin' to her place! It was hard to say no without giving an actual reason!"

"I could think of plenty of lies, you moron!"

"Well maybe I don't wanna lie, you ever think of that?" Natsu shouted, glaring at the redhead. Usually, he knew better than to yell at Erza, but he couldn't stop himself this time. Lying was something he absolutely hated. Lying to Lucy was even worse.

Erza sighed. She understood where he was coming from. Immortals had no choice but to lie, and being friends with a mortal made it harder. It went against many of their morals, but they didn't have a choice.

"I get it, Natsu," she said. "But being immortal means that we have to take extra precautions to stay safe. Lying is one of them."

"Well I never signed up to be an immortal!"

"None of us did, Natsu. Do you really think that anyone would want this curse?"

Natsu grew quiet before slowly shaking his head. Those that wished for immortality didn't understand the consequences.

"Well, let's just try to think of a way to fix this," Erza suggested, cupping her chin in thought.

"Is there even anything we can do?" Natsu asked, his frown growing. "I screwed up big time."

"I might have an idea, actually," Levy chimed in. "We can ask Master Makarov if we can use one of the apartments under the school's name. We'll explain the situation, and we'll just use one of the rooms as yours for the day."

"That's a great idea, Levy!" Natsu exclaimed, rushing over and hugging the short girl.

Erza arched a brow. "Do you think Lucy would fall for that?"

"I don't see why not," Levy replied. "We'll just bring some of Natsu's things over there tonight and buy some toilet paper and other stuff that the apartment doesn't provide to make it more believable."

"Excellent thinking, Levy."

So, they made their way to Makarov's room, knocking before being allowed entrance. They explained the situation and were relieved that Makarov agreed to it- after slapping Natsu upside the head, of course.

Then, they gathered the rest of their group that was allowed outside of Fairy Tail and headed towards one of the apartment complexes under the school's name. It was a nice place, sparkling clean as it was waiting to be rented out. The group quickly got to work.

Levy and Jellal focused on the décor, framing some of Natsu's pictures. They also tacked all of his posters to the wall. Gray and Gajeel were in charge of making the place more Natsu-like, throwing his clothes on the floor and putting some dishes- that they went through the work of buying just for this occasion- into the sink. It wouldn't have been believable if the place wasn't a mess. Juvia and Natsu were in charge of stocking the pantry and the bathroom. Meanwhile, Erza was focusing on the finer details that may've seemed miniscule but brought it all together. For the sake of making it more convincing that someone was living there, she unraveled a quarter of the toilet paper roll and threw it away, sprayed some of Natsu's cologne around so that it smelled like him, and other small things.

They were ready.

Natsu rubbed the back of his head. "The others are gonna join us there too, is that okay?" Erza and Gajeel insisted that they'd be there to make sure he wouldn't slipup again. It was twice now in the last two days that he'd made a mistake.

"Of course!" Lucy replied with a smile. "I'm ready when you are!"

The two walked through town, engaging in idle chatter. Natsu started a game where they would see who could trip the other person the most. So far, he was winning.

"I can't wait to see your place," Lucy said, locking her hands together behind her back as she walked on the edge of the canal.

"I don't see why," Natsu replied.

"What do you mean? You were very excited to see my apartment!"

"That's different."

"How?"

"It just is!"

Lucy rolled her eyes. "I want to see how you decorate your place since you were so persistent about me decorating mine."

Natsu gave her a mischievous grin. "I decorate it by throwing dirty clothes on the floor. Which, by the way, you promised to help me clean."

"I did no such thing."

"You sure did!"

The two bickered back and forth, reminding her of Levy and Gajeel's relationship. Did she and Natsu look like a couple?

She hoped so.

Natsu's stomach began to churn with anxiety as the apartment complex came into view. As they got closer, dread filled his body at a sudden realization.

He didn't remember which room was his.

"Fuck," he thought to himself, starting to sweat. It wasn't like he could just call Erza and ask which apartment was his. That would've been the most obvious thing in the world. And he couldn't just back out now. What was he supposed to do?

Luckily, his friends had prepared for this as well.

"Oi, Natsu! Lucy!" They saw Gray waving at them, probably told to stand there by Erza.

Natsu sighed in relief. "We're coming, Frosty!"

"Hi, Gray!" Lucy greeted as they approached the boy. "You beat us here!"

Gray smiled at her. "Hey, Lucy. Yeah, everyone's inside already."

"You all have keys to Natsu's apartment?"

The two boys tensed.

"Erza does," Gray lied smoothly. "She insists on having keys to all of our apartments so that she can do random checks."

"That sounds…"

"Stressful?"

"Very."

The three headed inside Natsu's apartment, Lucy walking behind the boys with baited breath. She couldn't wait to see his apartment and hang out with her new friends. When they entered the foyer and the boys moved out of her way, Lucy's jaw dropped on its hinges as she took in the state of the apartment. Clothes were everywhere, the sink was piled with dishes, and there was trash on the floor.

"Natsu! How can you live like this?" Lucy cried, feeling the urge to run out of there. Surely being in such a messy environment was a health hazard. She could only imagine what its effects were on Natsu, since he was actually living there.

The boy shrugged. They did make it pretty similar to how he used to live before he joined Fairy Tail.

"I don't see what's wrong with it."

"Natsu, you have actual trash on the floor! I can understand the clothes, but old food? That's gross! And look at all those dishes in the sink! You know you have to wash them, right? They don't just wash themselves!"

The boy smirked at her. "That's what you're here for, remember? You said you'd help clean."

"I just thought it'd be a little cluttered! I didn't expect it to look like a tornado swept through here!"

"Too bad! You agreed to it so now you're gonna clean it!"

"Lucy will do no such thing," Erza said, glaring at the boy and crossing her arms. "You will clean this place by yourself. All of it." That would be his punishment for inviting Lucy over in the first place.

"Flame Brains can do that later," Gray said. "For now, let's play some games."

"I'm down to kick your ass at some beer pong," Gajeel replied with an eager grin.

"You're on!"

Lucy watched the two boys relocate the chairs and move the table so that there was enough room.

Juvia, having been the one that stocked the pantry, knew where the plastic cups were kept and took it upon herself to poor some vodka into them. She and Levy situated the cups in a triangular formation on both sides of the table.

Once everything was ready, Gray and Gajeel stood on opposite sides of the table.

"Oi, I wanna join too!" Natsu shouted.

"Fine, we'll do teams. Me and Jellal against you and Gajeel," Gray replied.

Gajeel gave a look of disgust. "Why the hell do I get paired with this idiot?"

"I don't want him either!"

Lucy giggled, watching as the boys were about to start fighting- save for Jellal, who was the only level-headed one among them.

The girls watched as they took turns throwing the plastic ball, trying to get it into the cups. Gajeel was surprisingly good at the game and managed to sink the ball into half of the other team's cups before his turn ended. Gray and Jellal were forced to drink the vodka from the cups that Gajeel made it into. Now it was Jellal's turn.

Everyone was shocked as the quiet boy managed to toss the ball effortlessly into each and every single one of the cups before his turn ended.

"J-Jellal! You're like a natural at this game!" Levy exclaimed.

"He's a natural at everything," Natsu said, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes. "It's unfair."

"Do you play this game a lot or something?" Lucy asked Jellal.

The blue-haired boy flushed from the attention and shook his head. "I've only played once before against Erza."

"He bested me, too," the redhead chimed in.

Natsu and Gajeel grimaced as they chugged down shot after shot. Their eyes were screwed tight as they swallowed, the liquid leaving behind a burning sensation.

Lucy took to Natsu's side, trying to make sure that he didn't drink too fast. It seemed like the alcohol was already starting to have an effect on him as he glanced down at her, his cheeks rosy.

"You feeling okay?" Lucy asked with a smile.

Natsu nodded. "Yeah, it'll take more than that to get me tipsy."

"Really? Because your face is red."

Natsu's eyes widened and the tint of his cheeks grew deeper. He ducked his face behind his scarf. In truth, he was blushing because she was so close to him. But he was glad he had an excuse this time.

"O-Oh, yeah. I guess I feel it a little."

Lucy opened her mouth to reply when Erza's voice rang out.

"It's our turn!" she said with an eager grin. "Which one of you girls would like to be on my team?"

The rest of the girls fidgeted. Being put on Erza's team made things harder as she took everything seriously. Luckily, Juvia took one for the team.

"Juvia will be on Erza-san's team," she said.

Natsu smirked at Lucy. "Looks like you're up."

The blonde smiled back at him. "I guess so. Though, I'm not going to be any good at it. I've never played this game before. I've only watched from the side."

"That's lame! C'mon! Go show me whatcha got!"

Lucy nodded, taking her place by Levy. Even though she was sure they were going to lose, it was still exciting to play with them. Being given the ball first, the blonde bounced it off the table and tried to get it to land in any of the cups. Miraculously, it sank into one of the middle cups.

Erza smirked, picking up the plastic cup, throwing her head back, and downing its contents.

"Go again, Lucy," she said, tossing the ball back to her.

Lucy nodded. This time, she tried throwing it instead of bouncing. She ended up using too much pressure and the ball flew straight over the table.

"My turn!" Erza said, retrieving the ball. With great precision, she dunked it into a cup. Levy took a shot. The redhead made it again. Now Lucy took a shot.

Once Erza finally missed a shot- followed by her cursing- only three cups were left on Lucy and Levy's side. Levy grabbed the ball and cutely tossed it to the other side. It bounced once before landing in one of the cups. This time, it was Juvia's turn to drink. Levy tried to make another shot, but she missed.

"You've got this, Juvia!" Erza cheered as the blue-haired girl grabbed the ball.

Juvia swallowed thickly, hoping that she wouldn't disappoint the redheaded tyrant. Throwing the ball, she sunk it over and over again into the last three cups. Lucy and Levy grimaced, forcing the vodka down.

Lucy's chest felt warm from the alcohol in her circulation. After just one game, the girl was already starting to feel buzzed. She'd always been a light drinker. And with her slight tipsiness came a boost of confidence.

"Wait, I wanna play again!" she said, shoving Gray away, who was trying to play. "I think I've got the hang of it now!"

"Oho? You're challenging me to a rematch?" Erza questioned with a smirk and crossed arms. "Fine. Let's go."

And that was how the next thirty minutes transpired, with Lucy challenging Erza to countless of beer pong games and losing each one. By the end of their third game, her steps were wobbly and her speech was slurred.

"Again!" the blonde cheered.

"Uhh, I think you've had enough to drink," Gray said.

"Yeah, you should slow down," Natsu added. He grabbed a water bottle and held it out towards Lucy, who turned away from it with a huff.

"No! I don't wanna ssslow down!"

"Well too bad, you weirdo! Drink the water!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

A vein ticked in Natsu's forehead and his brows furrowed. Then, an idea popped into his head. With a smug grin he said, "Oi, Lucy. I bet I can drink more water than you."

Lucy gave him a glare. She snatched the water bottle out of his hand. "You're on!" She chugged it down in seconds. "I win!"

"Yeah, yeah, you win. Now let's get you home."

"I don't wanna go home!"

"Too bad. C'mon, Lucy. You're drunk."

The girl frowned at him. She fiddled with her hands. "Do… Do you not want me here?"

At this, Natsu blanched. "What? Of course I do, you weirdo! I'm just tryna be a good friend!"

"Friend?"

"Yeah! We're friends, right?"

The blonde smiled and nodded, latching onto his arm in a fashion similar to Juvia when it came to Gray. "Yeah. Best friends forever!"

"Hey! What about me!?" Levy cried.

Lucy laughed. "You too, Levy-chan! Best friends forever!"

"Good!"

Natsu sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to convince Lucy to go home. So, he was going to make sure to keep an eye on her. Which he was glad he did, because she looked like she was going to topple over any minute. Just to be safe, he looped an arm around her waist.

Lucy leaned into his side, savoring the warmth of his body. He was like her own personal heater.

"You're warm," she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

Natsu chuckled, glancing down at her. "Yeah, I've been told."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you warm?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

Lucy peeked at him through her lashes and gave him a smile that had his heart missing a beat. "It's because you're a dragon!"

Natsu grinned, raising a fist in the air. "Yosh! I'm a dragon!"

"A cute dragon!"

Natsu's cheeks turned red immediately and his body grew even warmer. Here he was, standing with his crush leaning against him and calling him cute. Was he hallucinating? "You think I'm cute?"

"Duh! A cute dragon!"

Natsu opened his mouth to reply when he heard a groan coming from his right.

Gray rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Can you two lovebirds get a room already? You're seriously grossing me out."

Natsu gently pulled Lucy away from him and got her to hold hands with Levy. Once he knew she was taken care of, he turned back towards Gray and lunged at him, all the while shouting obscenities. Gajeel gave a smug grin before joining the fray. The three boys brawled it out, not bothering to pay attention to their surroundings, bumping into Erza and sending her crashing into a wall.

The three boys gulped, watching as Erza turned to give them a look that could freeze all of hell. And with such tenacity like that of a demon, the redhead lunged at them and joined the fight. Everyone else watched, sighing.

Lucy could barely keep up with their fights when she was sober. Now that she was drunk, it was only worse.

Punches were thrown, kicks were delivered, and curse words were shouted as they fought. Natsu avoided a kick from Gray and cheered in victory before being punched by Erza. Not having had his feet grounded, he was sent flying backwards. His arm scraped against the corner of his table. Injuries were common in their fights, and he was going to jump right back in when he heard someone gasp.

Lucy.

"Natsssu, you're bleeding!" she shouted, shaking off Levy's hold on her.

Trepidation struck Natsu, and he tried to shield his arm away from Lucy, who was stumbling towards him. He'd forgotten she was there. Everyone else, finally realizing the problem at hand, became still as a rock.

Lucy arched a brow, seeing how Natsu was trying to avoid showing her his wound. With a pout, she quickly snatched his arm to inspect it. She felt Natsu tense as she pushed his sleeve upwards to get a good look. Finally, she found the scrape.

"That's a lot of blood, Natsssu," Lucy said, her words still slurred.

"I-It's not that bad," the boy replied, trying to pull his arm back. But Drunk Lucy was strong and persistent.

Lucy squinted at the injury. For a lot of blood, the scrape sure was small. There was a faint sizzling sound coming from Natsu's arm. Lucy watched with wide eyes as his scrape slowly started to close and heal on its own.

"Whoa," she breathed out.

Everyone's stomach dropped to the floor. She noticed it. Erza took slow steps towards Lucy, her hand ready to strike. She needed to do something. Knocking her out and bringing her back to her place would be the best course of action. Lucy would think that it was just a dream.

Natsu grimaced, watching Erza. He knew her intentions, he just wished there was another method. He didn't want Lucy to get hurt.

"I must be super drunk," Lucy said just as Erza was about to hit her. "Because it looked like your arm healed itself. Maybe I need to lay down for a bit." She cracked a yawn.

Natsu raised his brows. Then, he thought of another idea. "Whaaat? That's weird, Luce! Arms don't just heal themselves!"

"I know, I know," Lucy said with a laugh, shaking her head. "I really am a lightweight!"

"Maybe we should get your body more tolerated to it, huh? C'mon, let's play more games!"

"Okay! Games!"

Natsu gestured towards everyone to set up beer pong again. They shared a quick, confused glance before doing so.

"It'll just be me and you, Lucy," Natsu said once things were ready.

"Okay," the blonde said. She was swaying in her spot, already pretty drunk as it is.

Natsu took the ball and tried his best to make it. He made it into all but two of the cups before his turn ended. Lucy laughed before chugging down the contents of all the cups. Natsu winced. She was going to wake up with a huge hangover tomorrow morning, but he figured that would be better than having Erza hit her.

Natsu didn't know if his plan would work. He hoped that having Lucy drink more would make her forget about tonight's events. If not, then he would never be able to talk to her again.

Lucy laughed as she threw the ball. Being drunk, she was way off base.

It was Natsu's turn again. He took the ball and threw it into the last two cups, wincing as Lucy threw her head back and downed them both. Her eyes were half lidded and her skin looked a bit sickly and covered in sweat. Natsu knew that look.

Rushing towards her, Natsu led her towards the bathroom and lifted the lid. Lucy bent over immediately and began to puke. He held back her hair, knowing that it's what she would've wanted him to do and stayed by her as she continued to throw up. Guilt ebbed at him, knowing that he was responsible for this, but he knew that it was best to keep their secret safe.

Lucy could never know the truth.

"You're okay, Lucy," Natsu assured, rubbing circles on her back with one hand. "Get it all outta your system."

The girl nodded, throwing up some more. She let out a whimper once she was done, flushing the toilet.

"Let's get you home now, Luce." Natsu lifted her bridal style and carried her out to join with the others. Levy ran up to them, worried.

"Is she okay?" she asked.

Natsu nodded. "Yeah, just dealing with the alcohol. I'm going to take her home now." Glancing down at Lucy, he found that she was asleep with her head resting on his chest.

"Find out if she remembers anything tomorrow morning," Erza said with crossed arms. "If she does, then we have to tell Master. We messed up big time tonight. I can't believe I made such a careless mistake!"

"It'll be fine," Jellal assured.

Natsu took that as his cue to leave. It was late in the day, but there were still people outside, giving him weird glances as he carried Lucy. He just hoped none of them called the cops on him. That would make the situation even harder than it was. And it wasn't like his bloody arm was any help.

Luckily, they made it back to Lucy's apartment problem-free. He struggled to search Lucy's bag for her keys while holding her at the same time, but eventually he saw her pink lanyard. Once he managed to unlock the door, he quickly headed inside and gently placed the girl on the bed, making sure that she was laying on her side.

Natsu frowned. Lucy seemed so peaceful now. Her golden hair was splayed around her. Moonlight gently washed over her features. Her lips were slightly parted. She was angelic.

And he may have just screwed things up with her tonight.

With a dejected sigh, Natsu turned to leave when something grabbed his coat.

"Stay," Lucy said. Her voice was quiet and breathy as she was just barely awake.

Natsu swallowed thickly and nodded. If this was going to be the last time he would be able to see her, he wanted to get all the time he could. Carefully, he climbed in bed beside Lucy, making sure not to squish her in the process. He left space between them, not wanting her to think he was taking advantage of her drunkenness. Lucy seemed to have other ideas, though.

Snuggling against Natsu's side, Lucy let out a content sigh before dozing off to sleep. Natsu was still, staring at the ceiling. Even though things in the last hour were hectic, he felt at peace with her in his arms.

He never wanted it to end.

At the crack of dawn, Lucy's eyes shot wide open, a hand flying to her mouth. Ignoring the lump beside her, she shot out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, throwing the toilet open and puking what felt like all of her insides out. After throwing up, her stomach felt better, but her head was still pounding in pain.

"Shit," she murmured, clutching her head. "What the hell happened last night?"

"You got really wasted," someone said. Lucy glanced towards the voice and found Natsu. Instead of his cheery grin, his face instead adorned a frown. He looked scared.

"What are you so scared about? It's just a hangover," Lucy assured.

"So you're okay?"

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm okay. But I will be."

Still, Natsu frowned. It didn't seem like she remembered, but what if memories came rushing back to her later? Lucy's next words had him thanking the heavens.

"I don't remember anything after I challenged Erza to beer pong. I clearly must've lost," she said with a chuckle.

Natsu breathed a sigh of relief, tension uncoiling in his body. And even though he hated lying to Lucy, he didn't feel so bad this time. "Yeah, you passed out right after."

"And you stayed here with me?"

Natsu gave another look of fear. "You told me to!"

"Relax," Lucy replied, rolling her eyes. "I'm not mad this time. I'm glad you were there to make sure I was okay. You're a good friend."

Guilt pierced Natsu like a sword. He wasn't a good friend. He kept a huge secret from her, got her overly drunk to cover it up, and continued to lie to her face.

"D-Don't mention it."

"You want breakfast?" Lucy asked. "I'll make us some after I get ready. I want to freshen up after all of that puking."

"Yeah, breakfast sounds good."

Lucy nodded, closing the door so that she could shower and get ready.

Natsu took out his phone and sent a quick text to Erza, letting her know that things were okay. Before he met Lucy, he never really used his phone to talk to anyone. After all, he already lived with all of his friends. He preferred talking in person. But with Lucy, he wanted to talk to her every second of the day.

Once Lucy finished getting ready, she joined Natsu in the kitchen and made herself a cup of tea, hoping it'd help with her headache. Then, she got to making breakfast.

"Next time, let's hang out without getting wasted," Lucy said.

Natsu nodded. "Yeah. You're hard to take care of when you're drunk."

"Am not!"

"Are too!" he argued with a mischievous grin. "You say things without thinking and you can't even walk straight!"

"I can handle myself just fine!"

"Oh yeah? You called me cute last night, you know."

Lucy choked on her tea, her face becoming a blushing mess. "I-I did not!"

"You sure did!" Natsu replied.

Lucy buried her head in her hands in mortification. "I can't believe I said that."

"Don't worry, it's not a big deal." Natsu fought back a blush as he continued, "You're cute too."

Lucy slowly lifted her head. "Was that a compliment?"

"Nah. Just a fact."

"You're annoying."

The two laughed together. Even though they felt a bit embarrassed, their bodies felt light. Things were easy between the two of them.

Watching Lucy cook up breakfast, a smile gracing her face, Natsu decided he would be more careful from now on. He couldn't afford to make any more mistakes with Lucy, or else he might have to stay in the basement with the rest of the immortals. And while he usually didn't mind that, he found that he didn't want to stay down there now that Lucy was in his life. He wanted her in his life, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure she was.

[basshouse]

Donkeys Down Under Part 2

Make sure you start with this blog post, its the first in the series and this is a serial! 

In the first post, I started with How We Got Here.  Next up: 

Where we are. 

We live on Centaurus Road in Hillsborough, Christchurch (not-so-subliminal hint: sending a package will cost you an arm and a leg, but it’ll be worth it to see the smiles on our faces if you include a few packets of Hidden Valley Ranch mix).  

Christchurch is the biggest city on the South Island, with a whopping 375,000 people or so  – pretty big considering the whole country is just under 5 million people, and only about 30% of them live on the South Island at all. You can do your own research on the city’s history and geography if you like. The city is big enough to have good restaurants, bars, craft beer, and various forms of mild entertainment like tennis clubs, live music from time to time, exercise options...more cosmopolitan than we expected but super easy navigate and access to surfing beaches, mountains, rivers, lakes, coasts, bike trails. 

Our house is perched on the Port Hills, a short walk from the renowned Rapaki Track and a 10 minute drive to Sumner Beach (our regular surfing spot). The house has great views, an extra room for guests, and a lot of character – including:

A bathroom with handmade cat tiles and a shower with a strong homemade underwater motif.

A crazy garden full of roses, really loud birds, the odd hedgehog, and a zillion fruit trees that we don’t know how to manage.  Seriously, you should have seen me and Jason and Anily trying to shake down a tree full of plums without any useful protective gear – next time we’ll get out the ski goggles and helmets. 

A small plant growing up through the living room floor.  

A bathroom sink that’s even smaller than the one in our house in Seattle – really! 

Checkerboard linoleum floors. 

Sailboat wallpaper in one room and the ugliest damn curtains you’ve ever seen in others. Like, mauve. And flowered. Sometimes at the same time.

A fantastic sunroom that is the home of our new ping pong table and our surfboard rack.  Thankfully we did not have to get rid of the college dude vibe we had so carefully cultivated with our basement kegerator, Pacman machine and discarded drum set in the last house; we just evolved it a little -- the NZ version has a slightly more active characteristic. At this point Jason and I won’t be the ones playing the drinking games, but as I like to say, the best thing about being a grown up is giving yourself the permission to buy the toys that let you be the grown up you want to be.  Actually, I will probably never say that again because it’s a lot of words, but I’m committed to the philosophy behind it. More on toys and activities and drinking later.

The house has a fat deck with views of the Southern Alps

A super steep driveway and very slippery stairs (consider this your warning and legal disclaimer). 

You can’t see all the awesome details of the house in the satellite picture, but you can click and then zoom around if you want to see where we’re situated:

Our house is in a great spot.  It’s an easy bike ride to school and work and a short trip to the best grocery store in town, where you can buy a box of Gorilla Munch cereal for $8 and a small bag of Cheetos for $5 – in the international aisle, of course.  I refuse to document what else is in the American section.  I haven’t broken down and paid for the  Cheetos yet, but Anily really likes to eat Gorilla Munch before school, so, yes, this blog DOES contain a shopping list for things you should put in your extra suitcase when you come to visit (see if you can spot them all).  

We feel really lucky to have this house, and there are a few good lessons wrapped up in how we got this place with its weathered wood and tiny sinks and toilets.  One, surely, is not to lean too far for the toilet paper, especially if you can’t count on your core strength.  For not only are the toilets tiny, the seats on them are weak, and butt cheeks can be slippery.  Let’s just say the quality of the toilet seats has been a topic of more than one conversation among the American crew here, and one of us (not saying who) has a story that ends with a minor injury and a full bathroom clean up before coffee.

Anyway, for the real estate buffs out there, here’s how we won the rental house lottery: we landed in CHCH with ZERO idea of where to live and not much of a plan. We’d never been to this city, and luckily we had the sense not to commit to anything in advance.  That’s lesson #2 : it’s just too hard to know the vibe of a place without having feet on the ground, and internet research isn’t reliable for choosing a long-term place to live, so don’t commit if you don’t have to.  Good thing too, since most of what we read online in advance would have had us living on the west side of town, which is pretty much a mall, but of the NZ variety, which – shout out to my SA peeps – is reminiscent of the Central Park Mall in 1987, only without a Spencer’s and sub in a Kmart as the flagship instead of the Jacque Pen-nay’s. 

So we got to town, I went to work, and Jason started with schools.  Like many other places, school attendance is based on where you live, though there are schools that have open enrollment.  We got here at the end of the Seattle school year and basically decided to throw the kids right back in school until the summer break, which is December here.   Nice, right? A whole year of school to go with your whole year of winter, love you!  But honestly, it was the best thing for them to start socializing and acclimating without any academic pressure since they were already bored and missing friends after 20+ hours of plane travel and a couple days of down time.  A public school that we’d read about – Cashmere High – had an open day for potential students literally the day after we landed.  Jason took the kids to it, they liked the school, James sank a couple shots in the gym, we saw that surfing and skiing are on offer as school sports, and we immediately focused our energy on finding a place to live in the Cashmere school zone.

Which brings me to another lesson, the most important one, and something I need remind myself of constantly: don’t make it harder than it has to be.  Take the path that presents itself, make one important choice at a time, follow the clear option, and change direction if you need to once things gets going.  We followed this rule, sometimes unconsciously, throughout the process of getting to NZ and settling in; we took one step at a time, from job interviews to visa applications, to decisions about furniture and packing and pets.  We had no choice, really, it was the only way to handle such a monumental mud slide of hard decisions and logistics, and in the end all the right things happened.  As is the case with the house: once we knew the kids liked the school well enough, we decided to focus energy not on asking more questions or exploring other options, rather we focused on a house search, and in fact this house was the first one we looked at.  Another pro tip?  Show up with 6 months’ worth of rent in cash if you can, and try not to   come off like a criminal, just a decent family who is happy to pull the odd weed out of the navy blue 80s style living room carpet and furnish your own tiny, shockingly expensive fridge.  Because  listen up Americans: here in NZ, the appliances are small and ludicrously expensive, you can negotiate prices in the store, and it’s BYOA to the rental party. I’m not complaining, because that would be some seriously lame 1stworld problem whininess, it’s just something different. 

It took us about a month of AirBnBs to find and move into the house, which was a very cool way to experience other neighborhoods, including a couple beachside communities which would have been our first choice for living but made school and sports and commuting much more complicated (not worth it). 

This isn’t really a story, but it’s  possibly one of the best memories I’ll have in life: the four of us camped out in our living room for almost 6 weeks with literally nothing but an inflatable mattress that deflated progressively and then aggressively at the end, a ping pong table, 4 plastic place settings, a huge (expensive!) television, a few surfboards, and the contents of our duffle bags.  Binge watching “That Seventies Show,” huddling together near the wood burning fire place, waiting for your shipping container to arrive? That’s what brings a family together. 

The day the container arrived was like Christmas, but the one where your kids find out Santa isn’t real: a great day, followed by lots and lots of boxes and paper, the satisfaction of making your kids learn how to construct Ikea furniture, and sadness because once everything is put in order the kids scatter to their own rooms and beds and desks and laptops and you’re not all negotiating  screen time and eating off your ping pong table.  You’ve exited one phase and entered another, and if you’re smart you’ll stay present to them both.  

Just to close this out, here’s a great picture of Jason at one of the AirBnbs we stayed in: 

This is a view from a different one, in Lyttleton: 

Cuties!  XO.

[zarcake-writes]

A Desire for Freedom

Part 1! Before we get into this, a few things. Jun, the reader, was not my idea. Credit for Jun goes to @thelorelord. They gave me the details and description of Jun and everything about her. They asked me for this a while ago, and I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to post this. Hope you like it love.

Also,  this fic references things that happened in Death and the Mermaid and has returning characters. It takes place like a year after Death and the Mermaid ends. Hope you all enjoy it!

Hanzo never thought he would join the recalled Overwatch, he wanted nothing to do with them or his brother. But, after traveling and growing, he felt he had to do right in the world. He joined and began to heal with his brother. Plus, having Talon bothering him pushed him to join the recall. They would soon come after him, and he figured he would be safer with the recalled organization.

After sitting around and avoiding most people except his brother and Zenyatta, Solider 76 and Ana Amari told him he needed to do a mission. He wasn’t a civilian he was a warrior, and it’s time he did his part. He trained for another few months, and then he was deemed ready for a mission. He remembered scoffing at the training, and then being embarrassed by Ana. He grumbled that he could use the extra practice.

His first mission came and Hanzo wanted to jump out of the fucking drop ship. The mission wasn’t what was bad, no it hasn’t even officially started, it’s who he was with. The hacker Sombra was in one corner, she kept giving him a look that he didn’t like. Like she knew every about him. Shit, she probably did. Hana was in her meka playing a video game loudly. McCree was laughing loudly with Dr. Ziegler and she was entertaining his annoying flirting. He wanted to jump out of the ship. A shoot himself with his bow, he wondered if that was possible.

He noticed Angela and McCree were setting up a large tub thing, water was being poured into it. He frowned at them and wondered what they were doing. Then the doctor handed the cowboy something then made her way to him.

“Hanzo, keep these on you. You might need to use them,” the doctor explained. Hanzo took them from her and narrowed his eyes at the object in his hands. It was a small bag that held some ear plugs. He frowned at them then at the doctor.

“What are these for?” he asked.

“Just a precaution. When we land more will be explained,” she said.

The ship landed and they all filed out. In front of them was a large building that had clearly been abandoned for a while. There was a rusty sign that said this was once a military installation. Hanzo narrowed his eyes as he examined the outside, what were they doing here? Their coms crackled to life and a raspy voice came over, “Reyes here.”

“Ohh man, never thought I would that again Gabe,” McCree laughed. Angela nodded in agreement. Sombra only snorted.

“Intel Sombra got from Talon databases suggests that this place is of interests to not only Moira, but to all of Talon. You five need to figure out why,” Reyes said.

Hanzo kept his mouth shut. He didn’t understand why this man was giving them instructions, and he didn’t know why Sombra was there. They both were once part of Talon and only cared for themselves. So why they suddenly switched sides and helped take down Talon, Hanzo didn’t know. And then Reaper, or Reyes, showed up to the Gibraltar base and was walking around with twin babies in his arms. Hanzo was very much confused, but he didn’t question it. He wasn’t someone to question a person’s life choices.

Hanzo often wondered who the mother of Reyes’ twins was, but he only saw the twins and Reyes, no woman who they called mom. The twins were usually always with Reyes, but sometimes McCree and Genji would walk around with them. Genji once handed him the boy, who then pulled his hair and tried touching his piercing. The girl seemed to be mesmerized with his tattoo.

They seemed to be well behaved, but they were only two years old. They both giggled and laughed and liked playing, like normal babies, yet their dark eyes unnerved him. And when he held the boy, he would have sworn he felt something odd on his back. Before he could ask, the boy was taken from him. And just like their father, they looked like they would be able to turn into smoke.

“Are we looking for anything in particular?” Hana asked. Hanzo shook his head of Reyes and his odd children.

“Something that… isn’t human. McCree, Hanzo, Angela gave you both some ear plugs, right?”

“Yes,” Hanzo and McCree answered.

“If you hear singing, put them in and leave the area. You girls will have to handle the rest,” Reyes said.

“What?” Hanzo asked. Hana looked confused as well, but the others didn’t seem fazed. What the hell was going on? What the hell were the expecting to encounter?

“Reyes, what’s the layout of this place?” McCree asked. Hanzo frowned when his question was ignored.

“The building is forty years old. But, it was abandoned about fifteen years ago. There’s four levels and a basement, and apparently a subbasement. What we’re looking for will be in the basement or subbasement. Sombra has a map of this place, I doubt there’s any power left in there, but if there is Sombra will hack anything. Keep an eye for any Talon agents, hopefully you won’t encounter any problems,” Reyes said.

“We’ll be fine Gabe,” Sombra said. She smirked at Hanzo and gave him a wink. He looked away from her and sighed.

“Keep in touch with me in case anything happens. Reyes out.” His end of the line went dead and the five began to move.

Hanzo took the lead as they approached the building. He fired his sonic arrows and was relieved when the only life that popped up were rats and some birds. The five entered the building and began looking around. Sombra brought up a map and led the way from there.

The air in the building smelled dank and there were broken windows and rotten papers all over the floor. The air was cold there was tagging all over the walls. The entire first floor looked like there were nothing but offices. Hanzo wondered what was on the other floors. He didn’t want to know; the entire place gave him the creeps. He was spiritual and he was sure this place had a ghost or two. Or something else. Especially based off the tagging on the walls.

“Alright, stairs are through this door,” Sombra said. She opened a door and they all looked down the stairwell. It was dark and a chill went down Hanzo’ spine. The air smelled wet and moldy down there, he pulled his jacket up and covered his lower face as best he could.

“Anyone brought a light?” McCree asked.

“My meka has a light,” Hana said. She went down first, the lights on her meka illuminated the creepy stairwell. Everyone followed with Hanzo going last, he made sure the door was opened all the way, he glanced one last time up at the light.

It felt like they were going down the stairs forever. When they finally reached the bottom of the stairs the five found themselves in a hallway with only one exit. The only one door at the furthest end of the hall, they all exchanged looks but approached the door. The door itself was a secured and completely metal. There was a lock on the door that required a key card to open.

“How we gonna get in there Sombra?” McCree asked Sombra.

“Well, there’s no power in here. So, I can’t hack anything. But, you can use that metal arm of yours and maybe the girl can use her meka to get the door open,” Sombra replied. McCree rolled his eyes but began working with Hana to open the door.

It took a while, but the got it open, with bunch of cursing from both McCree and Hana. Hanzo was shocked with the curse words coming from the young woman’s mouth. She didn’t just cuss in Korean, but many other languages. They both managed to pry the door open. Hana blew the door completely open with her missiles and flew her meka into it. Once the smoke cleared, and Jesse was done showing off his metal arm, they went through the doorway. What they found inside made them all frown.

The room was huge. Along the walls were what looked like cages, but instead of bars there was some sort of strong glass. Hanzo could see there was a bed, a toilet and a sink in the one closest to him, it looked like a person had been in here. But some of the other box like cages were larger and a few looked like animals had been in them. In the center of the room were tables and what looked like a control station.

“What was this place?” Hana asked. Angela frowned when she saw the boxes, she began investigating a table that had a bunch of buttons and screens.

“Nothing good. Apparently, the government got their hands on some things that they didn’t want to let go. Rumors of human experimentation and experimenting on others things came out of here. It’s why Moira is interested in a place like this,” Sombra said. Hanzo noticed the frown on McCree’s face and the look he shared with Angela.

Hanzo began exploring the room. He noticed a few cells that might have housed humans, but he saw deep claw marks in one of the human cells. Another one was huge and there were eight shackles on the floor. He noticed a few others that had claw marks on the walls and one even had scorch marks. He frowned when he thought of what was held here. His tattoo buzzed slightly, his dragons were bothered by what he was seeing.

He noticed McCree standing in front of a large aquarium. Hanzo approached and saw what the cowboy was looking at. On the bottom of the dried aquarium, was a skeleton of… something. The upper body was a human looking skeleton, but the bottom half looked like a fish tale. Next to the skeleton was a jaw bone. The teeth attached to the jaw bone sent a chill down his back.

“What was that?” Hanzo asked.

“Mermaids. The one with a complete skeleton was a mammal, and that funny looking jaw bone with those teeth… I’m willing to bet that was one of the kind with gills,” he said. Hanzo couldn’t see his face, but McCree sounded angry. Beyond angry.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Hanzo scoffed.

“I’m not being ridiculous. I know one,” McCree said. He turned away from the aquarium and walked away. Hanzo narrowed his eyes at the cowboy, but turned back to the aquarium. Could the skeletons have once been mermaids? Were they real?

A second door was found and opened. Hana and Sombra stayed in the large room with the cells, while Angela, McCree and Hanzo continued exploring. The next room was different than the first. The ceiling was high and domed shaped, Hanzo wondered how far underground they were. The whole room reminded him of a bird aviary. There were ledges and fake foliage all around the room, and a fake sun was painted on the ceiling, along with clouds and some birds. There was a counter with buttons and a video screen in front of the door that caught Hanzo’s attention.

Off to the side of the room was an area that was separated by curtains. Hanzo investigated and found a human bed, along with a few very large feathers. Along the walls were drawings. There was large window that was drawn, outside the fake window Hanzo could see the sun. Another window drawing had a storm outside.

“What did they have in here?” McCree muttered.

“Sirens?” Angela asked. Hanzo gave them a confused look. First mermaids, then sirens?

“I don’t know. Sapphire said sirens are coastal creatures. This doesn’t even have a coastal theme. Maybe it’s something else?”

Hanzo was going to ask them a question when he noticed a large pod at the end of the room. He approached it and narrowed his eyes up at it. It was huge. At least twenty feet high. He noticed there was a piece of paper on the front that had a bunch of numbers and technical terms, above the paper was a glass window. He ran his hand over the grim covered window and let out a gasp.

Inside the pod was a woman. It’s a cryogenic pod, he realized. Why was she in here? Was she experimented on? Who is she? What is she? That last thought made him uneasy.

“McCree, Angela, get over here,” he shouted. The two approached him and when they saw the woman they both gasped.

“We got to get her out of here,” Angela said. Hanzo heard her and the cowboy run back to the counter with buttons. No doubt they were pressing every button they could find.

When they hit the right button, there was a noise and the front of the pod opened and the woman fell out. Hanzo caught her out of instinct but his eyes went wide. Not because the woman was naked and in his arms, but because on her back was a pair of wings. They were feathered and white as snow, they stood out against her dark skin. Her hair was pulled back and he noticed she had a white streak in it.

“Well that’s not something you see every day. And here I was expecting a mermaid or siren,” McCree said. He was starring wide eyes at the woman, but he seemed relaxed. Even Angela seemed calm.

“Are you serious?” Hanzo asked.

“Yes. But this isn’t a mermaid and she doesn’t look like a bird. She’s just a winged woman, think Sapphire knows about this?” McCree asked Angela.

“We can ask her,” Angela said.

Hanzo tuned them out and became focused on the woman in his arms. He blushed at her naked form and averted his eyes. He pulled off his coat and attempted to wrap her in it. Her wings were stopping him from wrapping the coat around her, but he managed to cover her bare front.

Hanzo lifted her up a bit and turned to the other two. Her body was small and thin, but she was heavy, no doubt her wings were adding to her weight. He noticed they were dragging on the floor, he felt bad that the white feathers would get covered in dirt.

“We should get her to the ship and get her to base,” Hanzo said.

“He’s right. Let’s hurry and get her out of here,” Angela said. She began using her staff and began healing the strange woman.

Hana and Sombra were surprised to see the naked winged woman, but they helped Hanzo get her out of the building and to the drop ship. McCree pulled his serape off and wrapped it around her lower half, and he led the way out with Sombra. Hana made sure Hanzo made it up the stairs with the strange woman.

On the ship, Angela helped lay her out on a medical bed. Once she was properly placed on the bed, and they were sure her wings weren’t in an awkward position, Hanzo noticed a section of her wings were missing their feather. He examined it closely and realized her wings at one point had been bound together. Angela made sure she was covered with a blanket and began hooking her up to medical equipment. She sighed in relief when all her vital signs came back positive. When she noticed the bald part that Hanzo was examining, she frowned.

“When we arrive at the base, I’ll do a more thorough check up,” Angela said. Hanzo nodded. He heard McCree and Sombra talking to Reyes over their coms while Hana was lingering near the winged woman with interest. Hanzo could tell she was deep in thought, he recognized that look on her face for when she was going to do something that was mischievous.

As the ship took off, Hanzo felt a tingle in his tattoo he’s never felt before. His dragons were clearly interested in this winged woman, and he was as well.

[auctionsnearmeblog]

When we go about life, enjoying the comfort of our homes, there are certain things that could go unnoticed. We may not consciously be aware of the complexity of the pipe network, the appliances plus the drains that keep our homes running. Plumbing Tips That Will Save You Money It’s critical to know the top plumbing tips, they could help you avoid some nasty problems. It is not funny to run into plumbing problems, and learning a few tips on how homeowners could maintain the plumbing system could be such a lifesaver! Don’t Pour Grease Or Oil Down The Drain One of the greatest enemies of the plumbing system is allowing grease and oil in the kitchen sink. You will need to break it down before it will allow water waste to run away. Most people will tell you that eating oily food bungs them up and they end up feeling full without necessarily eating too much. That is exactly what happens when you dump grease or oil down the drain. The grease and oil start to build up in the pipes. The building up of the grease will continue, eventually clogging up your pipes. You will run into some serious plumbing problems. The damage and the costs that could result from this are horrendous. It would be easier and cheaper if you kept that from happening in the first place. The best place to start is by ensuring you don’t throw cooking liquid down the drain as you go about your kitchen tasks. Instead, use a different disposal option. A suggestion would be to wait for the oil to solidify first and then dispose it off in the compost pit or waste bin. Use A Strainer Have you ever thought about what happens when you take your shower? Our hair falls out and builds up over time inside the pipework. The soap residue does not make it any better. Clogs in a shower or sink drain are quite annoying, and continued use of the bathroom or sink without care could land you with such problems. When confronted by clogs in a shower or sink drain, you could get the first thought to use liquid drain cleaners. However, never ever entertain that thought. It seems like an easy way out of a huge problem. However, the chemicals in the liquid drain cleaner can eventually damage your plumbing infrastructure. You would be landing yourself with even crazier plumbing issues than you can imagine. The good news is, you can easily avoid this mess by using a basket strainer. This basket-type strainer helps keep away unwanted debris or foreign objects from going down the pipes. The basket allows water to flow freely. It is quite efficient for most sink types. The basket-strainer is also easy to remove and clean whenever you need to. It is built from stainless steel, easily resisting corrosion. If, for some reason, you still have some debris or clogging to deal with, then use a snake or a similar tool to pull out the blockage. Watch What You Flush Your toilet is not a trash can, and therefore, each homeowner will need to be conscious about the things that should not be flushed, and those that would be okay to flush. The fact is, flushing anything else except the toilet paper will eventually result into a nasty clog. Interestingly, some of those baby wipes labeled as flushable, are in the list of what you should not flush down the toilet. Products like paper towels and cotton swabs also are additional causes of toilet clogs. If you don’t already have a plunger, then next time you go out get yourself one. These clogging issues happen simultaneously, and it is important to be prepared for such eventualities. Toilet Leaks Toilet leaks can be tricky to spot, especially when they are tiny and barely noticeable. A constantly running toilet is a clear sign that your toilet is leaking. However, you may not easily tell where the leak is. The easiest way to tell if your toilet is leaking is to put food coloring in the toilet tank. After that, check if the color shows in the water in the bowl. If it does, then you have a leaking problem that needs fixing. Know Where Your Main Water Valve Is Have you ever checked where your main water valve is? What would you do if one day you ran into a plumbing issue? If you still haven’t, you will need to locate it as soon as possible. See, if your water pipes burst, turning off your main water valve would be your salvation, until the plumber gets there to help. If you cannot trace it, your whole home would have turned into an ocean before the plumbing experts arrive. If it’s a new home and you do not have an idea how to locate your water valve, you should get that information when you move in. If it’s your current home, start by checking where the main water point enters your home. Check on the front wall and see if it is there. If you do not trace it yet, check the mechanical room. If you are still not successful, check near the furnace or the water heater. If you have slab construction, another place you can check your water valve is within the crawl space. Whatever you do, make sure you find that valve. Make sure you do not have anything that could hinder you from quickly accessing that valve in case of emergencies. Prevent Your Plumbing From Freezing When winter knocks on our doors and the temperatures get to their bottom low, the plumbing system is at a high risk of freezing. Since we cannot keep away the winter, let’s learn how to prevent winter freezes in your plumbing through the season. The first step is to make sure the outside wall plumbing lines are insulated properly. One effective way to do this is to use a traditional wrap. That wrap could either be a rubber backing tape, bubble film, foam and foil, or even natural cotton. You can keep the pipes from freezing without using power. The way to do it is to let the cold water run or drip through the faucet you find in the exposed pipes. Even a tickle of running water will keep the pipes from freezing. Another tip is to ensure your home has good air circulation. Do not allow the temperatures to get below 16 degrees Celsius. Check the rooms that are a complete misery in the winter. Do not wait for the cold to choose the right air circulation system for such spaces. Do that in good time, and make use of the warm months to get that solution in place. Make Sure Your Main Sewer Drain Is Accessible The plumbing system usually is kept away from obvious human view. Otherwise, our homes would be looking all clumsy and unkept if all the piping was exposed. However, it is critical to keep your drain access point uncovered. Ensure the area around it remains clear and free. When faced with a sewage line blockage, it is critical to have room to move. This explains why the main sewer should remain accessible. Keep any carpeting, rags or toys from that space. Yes, do not even decorate the area. Keep it as free as possible. All the Dos and Don’ts that come with plumbing system maintenance can feel like a burden. That is why our experts are always available to give you the home services that would keep the system as secure as possible. Our sewer drain cleaning services will save you time and money. We are aware that the basement can be a nightmare to handle in homes. You may not even know what to do if you get an unexpected indoor swimming pool. That is why we are only a call away, to keep your home free from such experiences. Search for “Emergency Plumber” on NearMe.Vip to get help when you need it. Prolong Your Tap’s Life Dripping taps can be a real pain. The noise alone can drive you crazy. To avoid this, most homeowners will make sure the taps are turned off as tight as possible. You have no idea how bad an idea is and the damage it can cause to the taps. The extra pressure on the taps causes significant tear and wear. The way to handle a tap is to Turn the tap until you feel the natural stop point. Don’t put too much pressure on it as it only hurts the durability of the tap. When dealing with water taps, always remember that hand-tight is sufficient. When you go overboard with tightening the taps, you cause breakages that could be avoided, such as stripped screws. Dealing with the stripped screws is doable, but it is an annoyance that could be avoided. In case you are faced with a stripped screw, you can either use a rubber band to remove it or even drill a new slot. Drilling a small hole into the screw gives a chance for the screwdriver to get a grip. Whether your tap is modern or classic, you will need to carefully maintain it to prolong its life. We’re There When Things Go Wrong The fact is, even if we do not think about our pipes and drains on a daily basis because they are not obvious to the naked eyes, the plumbing systems need care and attention. Because they are in regular use, they suffer from tear and wear, and taking care of them before you get a problem makes a lot of sense. You do not want to wake up to a basement that is flooded or a nightmare scenario of flooded rooms. You should be doing everything you could to maintain the plumbing system, from preventing plumbing leaks in your home to avoiding clogs and keeping the pipes from freezing. However, you could still likely face a plumbing issue. This could be because you haven’t had the time to do the maintenance you should have or are unlucky enough to come across a problem beyond your expertise. That is where we come in. We take care of all your problems, major and minor, without inconveniencing you. Our promise to you is that our services will keep you free from plumbing issues. In case of any emergency, we’re here for you when the going gets tough. All you need to do is enter “Emergency Plumber” into the search box on NearMe.Vip.

[paintersnearmeblog]

When we go about life, enjoying the comfort of our homes, there are certain things that could go unnoticed. We may not consciously be aware of the complexity of the pipe network, the appliances plus the drains that keep our homes running. Plumbing Tips That Will Save You Money It’s critical to know the top plumbing tips, they could help you avoid some nasty problems. It is not funny to run into plumbing problems, and learning a few tips on how homeowners could maintain the plumbing system could be such a lifesaver! Don’t Pour Grease Or Oil Down The Drain One of the greatest enemies of the plumbing system is allowing grease and oil in the kitchen sink. You will need to break it down before it will allow water waste to run away. Most people will tell you that eating oily food bungs them up and they end up feeling full without necessarily eating too much. That is exactly what happens when you dump grease or oil down the drain. The grease and oil start to build up in the pipes. The building up of the grease will continue, eventually clogging up your pipes. You will run into some serious plumbing problems. The damage and the costs that could result from this are horrendous. It would be easier and cheaper if you kept that from happening in the first place. The best place to start is by ensuring you don’t throw cooking liquid down the drain as you go about your kitchen tasks. Instead, use a different disposal option. A suggestion would be to wait for the oil to solidify first and then dispose it off in the compost pit or waste bin. Use A Strainer Have you ever thought about what happens when you take your shower? Our hair falls out and builds up over time inside the pipework. The soap residue does not make it any better. Clogs in a shower or sink drain are quite annoying, and continued use of the bathroom or sink without care could land you with such problems. When confronted by clogs in a shower or sink drain, you could get the first thought to use liquid drain cleaners. However, never ever entertain that thought. It seems like an easy way out of a huge problem. However, the chemicals in the liquid drain cleaner can eventually damage your plumbing infrastructure. You would be landing yourself with even crazier plumbing issues than you can imagine. The good news is, you can easily avoid this mess by using a basket strainer. This basket-type strainer helps keep away unwanted debris or foreign objects from going down the pipes. The basket allows water to flow freely. It is quite efficient for most sink types. The basket-strainer is also easy to remove and clean whenever you need to. It is built from stainless steel, easily resisting corrosion. If, for some reason, you still have some debris or clogging to deal with, then use a snake or a similar tool to pull out the blockage. Watch What You Flush Your toilet is not a trash can, and therefore, each homeowner will need to be conscious about the things that should not be flushed, and those that would be okay to flush. The fact is, flushing anything else except the toilet paper will eventually result into a nasty clog. Interestingly, some of those baby wipes labeled as flushable, are in the list of what you should not flush down the toilet. Products like paper towels and cotton swabs also are additional causes of toilet clogs. If you don’t already have a plunger, then next time you go out get yourself one. These clogging issues happen simultaneously, and it is important to be prepared for such eventualities. Toilet Leaks Toilet leaks can be tricky to spot, especially when they are tiny and barely noticeable. A constantly running toilet is a clear sign that your toilet is leaking. However, you may not easily tell where the leak is. The easiest way to tell if your toilet is leaking is to put food coloring in the toilet tank. After that, check if the color shows in the water in the bowl. If it does, then you have a leaking problem that needs fixing. Know Where Your Main Water Valve Is Have you ever checked where your main water valve is? What would you do if one day you ran into a plumbing issue? If you still haven’t, you will need to locate it as soon as possible. See, if your water pipes burst, turning off your main water valve would be your salvation, until the plumber gets there to help. If you cannot trace it, your whole home would have turned into an ocean before the plumbing experts arrive. If it’s a new home and you do not have an idea how to locate your water valve, you should get that information when you move in. If it’s your current home, start by checking where the main water point enters your home. Check on the front wall and see if it is there. If you do not trace it yet, check the mechanical room. If you are still not successful, check near the furnace or the water heater. If you have slab construction, another place you can check your water valve is within the crawl space. Whatever you do, make sure you find that valve. Make sure you do not have anything that could hinder you from quickly accessing that valve in case of emergencies. Prevent Your Plumbing From Freezing When winter knocks on our doors and the temperatures get to their bottom low, the plumbing system is at a high risk of freezing. Since we cannot keep away the winter, let’s learn how to prevent winter freezes in your plumbing through the season. The first step is to make sure the outside wall plumbing lines are insulated properly. One effective way to do this is to use a traditional wrap. That wrap could either be a rubber backing tape, bubble film, foam and foil, or even natural cotton. You can keep the pipes from freezing without using power. The way to do it is to let the cold water run or drip through the faucet you find in the exposed pipes. Even a tickle of running water will keep the pipes from freezing. Another tip is to ensure your home has good air circulation. Do not allow the temperatures to get below 16 degrees Celsius. Check the rooms that are a complete misery in the winter. Do not wait for the cold to choose the right air circulation system for such spaces. Do that in good time, and make use of the warm months to get that solution in place. Make Sure Your Main Sewer Drain Is Accessible The plumbing system usually is kept away from obvious human view. Otherwise, our homes would be looking all clumsy and unkept if all the piping was exposed. However, it is critical to keep your drain access point uncovered. Ensure the area around it remains clear and free. When faced with a sewage line blockage, it is critical to have room to move. This explains why the main sewer should remain accessible. Keep any carpeting, rags or toys from that space. Yes, do not even decorate the area. Keep it as free as possible. All the Dos and Don’ts that come with plumbing system maintenance can feel like a burden. That is why our experts are always available to give you the home services that would keep the system as secure as possible. Our sewer drain cleaning services will save you time and money. We are aware that the basement can be a nightmare to handle in homes. You may not even know what to do if you get an unexpected indoor swimming pool. That is why we are only a call away, to keep your home free from such experiences. Search for “Emergency Plumber” on NearMe.Vip to get help when you need it. Prolong Your Tap’s Life Dripping taps can be a real pain. The noise alone can drive you crazy. To avoid this, most homeowners will make sure the taps are turned off as tight as possible. You have no idea how bad an idea is and the damage it can cause to the taps. The extra pressure on the taps causes significant tear and wear. The way to handle a tap is to Turn the tap until you feel the natural stop point. Don’t put too much pressure on it as it only hurts the durability of the tap. When dealing with water taps, always remember that hand-tight is sufficient. When you go overboard with tightening the taps, you cause breakages that could be avoided, such as stripped screws. Dealing with the stripped screws is doable, but it is an annoyance that could be avoided. In case you are faced with a stripped screw, you can either use a rubber band to remove it or even drill a new slot. Drilling a small hole into the screw gives a chance for the screwdriver to get a grip. Whether your tap is modern or classic, you will need to carefully maintain it to prolong its life. We’re There When Things Go Wrong The fact is, even if we do not think about our pipes and drains on a daily basis because they are not obvious to the naked eyes, the plumbing systems need care and attention. Because they are in regular use, they suffer from tear and wear, and taking care of them before you get a problem makes a lot of sense. You do not want to wake up to a basement that is flooded or a nightmare scenario of flooded rooms. You should be doing everything you could to maintain the plumbing system, from preventing plumbing leaks in your home to avoiding clogs and keeping the pipes from freezing. However, you could still likely face a plumbing issue. This could be because you haven’t had the time to do the maintenance you should have or are unlucky enough to come across a problem beyond your expertise. That is where we come in. We take care of all your problems, major and minor, without inconveniencing you. Our promise to you is that our services will keep you free from plumbing issues. In case of any emergency, we’re here for you when the going gets tough. All you need to do is enter “Emergency Plumber” into the search box on NearMe.Vip.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S1:E4; Chapter Four, The Body - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Gender Neutral!Reader Series

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘠/𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘰𝘥𝘥 𝘴𝘺𝘮𝘱𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧.

||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

"We keep losing the signal, but you heard it, right?"

The five of us were gathered in Mike's basement once more. Lucas and Dustin had nearly broken down my door earlier this morning in a frantic scramble. They had both began talking really fast but I caught bits and pieces, something about Mike hearing Will. That was enough to get me out of my room, regardless of my health, or whatever the hell is wrong with me.

It took me less than five minutes to get dressed and before I knew it, I was on my bike and in the lead to Mike's. When we got there he quickly ushered us down to the basement and that is how we all ended up sitting by El, listening to her fiddle with the supercomm. The voice I heard was hard to believe but unmistakably Will's.

I knew that a big part of me was hoping so desperately that he was alive that I was willing to believe anything. I know it's not healthy, but I couldn't resist giving into the belief that my best friend is alive.

"Yeah, I heard a baby," Lucas all but sighed.

"What?" Mike asked, seemingly astonished.

"Mike, you obviously tapped into a baby monitor. It's probably the Blackburns' next door." Lucas sighed, wanting to believe that Will was alive.

I could tell he wanted it to be true. But I guess that's where we are different, Lucas is better at sticking to reality and reason. Something I often envied.

"Uh, did that sound like a baby to you? That was Will!" Mike said matter-of-factly.

Lucas rolled his eyes, clearly getting frustrated.

"Mike..."

"Lucas, you don't understand. He spoke last night. Words! He was singing that weird song he loves. Even El heard him!"

My head snapped up. I had been silent throughout this whole endeavor, keeping a safe distance from the circle, still not completely sure if I was sick enough to contaminate anyone. But I spoke up.

"Should I Stay or Should I Go? By the Clash?" My voice was slightly urgent.

"Yes! At least I think it's by th– you know what? It doesn't matter. The point is," he looked around the room to party one by one, his eyes landed on me last with a knowing look. "I think there is a good chance Will is alive."

I gave a small smile at Mike, communicating my gratitude silently.

"Well if El heard him–" Lucas began, annoyed.

"Are you sure you're on the right channel?" Dustin cut in.

"I don't think it's about that. I think, somehow, she's channeling him."

"Like... like Professor X."

"Yeah."

Lucas looked to me, then the boys. "Are you actually believing this crap?"

"I don't know, I mean..." Dustin sighed. "Do you remember when Will fell off his bike and broke his finger? He sounded a lot like that."

Lucas gave us an incredulous look. "Did you guys not see what I saw? They pulled Will's body out of the water. He's dead!" Lucas screamed, his eyes landed on me long enough for him to see the pain in my eyes.

A lump in my throat grew large, and my palms became warm again. My eyes stung as I blinked away the tears, never breaking eye contact with Lucas. I stood up abruptly and excused myself in a hoarse whisper.

"Y/n..." Lucas sighed after me, only to be met with the bathroom door swinging shut.

My palms gripped the counter as I tried catching my breath. The salty tears escaped my eyes and I looked into the mirror to see what a mess I was. I really didn't want to have another anxiety attack. Not now. It's the last thing I need.

I wiped my eyes and blew my nose in some toilet paper. I grabbed an extra washcloth and set it aside. I turned on the faucet and waited for the temperature to cool down. I could hear the muffled voices of the boys, and then some scattered shuffling. When I was finally satisfied with the cool temperature of the water I ran the washcloth under the sink, soaking it in cold water.

I rung out the damp cloth over the sink before bringing it to my cheeks. The cool soft cloth felt refreshing on my heated face, and I put pressure over my eyes to bring down the swelling. It seemed to do the trick. I took an extra moment to steady my breathing, and I brought my hand up to rub my neck, sighing. However, I recoiled my hand when my neck was met with a harsh sting of heat. I looked at my hands, confused.

'The water couldn't have been that hot, could it? But, that...'

Too many questions arose from that simple theory, so I quickly dismissed it. Knowing that the longer I stay, the more worried the boys will become. And all I want is to know what the hell is going on. I open the door and rejoin my friends.

However, I don't see El or Mike.

Just Dustin and Lucas digging out some old boxes. Dustin noticed the look of confusion on my face and fills me in.

"We think if we get El to a stronger radio, like the Heathkit at school, she will be able to get a stronger connection to Will. We just need to find her a disguise. Mike is upstairs helping her out on makeup."

I nod, joining the boys and begin digging through another box, rifling through the many abandoned clothes and costumes.

"Y/n? I'm sorry, I just–" Lucas speaks up softly.

"It's fine," I mumble, not bothering to look up from the box.

I know he is sorry, but I also know that if I dwell on it any longer I will only grow more upset. I hear him sigh, and return to the box. An old pink dress I can only assume once belonged to Nancy had caught my eye. I pulled it out of the box and showed it to the guys.

Lucas gave a firm nod, and Dustin proudly showed off a blonde wig he had found. I lead the way upstairs and handed El the dress and wig which I had taken from Dustin. I gave her a small smile, indicating that I was okay and not mad at her.

She seemed more comfortable with the idea of changing alone but insisted I help with the wig, she seemed very confused as to what it was. The boys were busy talking, but I was the only one who noticed her peaking her head from behind the door.

I slipped inside and closed the door behind me. She looked nervous but I didn't blame her. I smiled.

"You look great. And you'll do fine, I promise. Mike and I have got your back, and so does Dustin and Lucas, as much as they might deny it."

These words of comfort seem to earn a grateful smile from her. I return the gesture and grab the wig off of the bed.

"Alright, this may be different from what you're used to but it grows on you. Longer hair, I mean." I chuckle to myself at my unintended pun, knowing she probably wouldn't get it.

Embarrassed, I shake away the comment and I adjust the wig on her, helping her to straighten out some loose hairs.

"And you are done. Are you ready?"

El looked to me, a thoughtful expression on her face before nodding. I open the door and step out to see the boys all turn in unison.

They look to me before I silently step aside to reveal El in her disguise. She held herself in a different way, I could tell. It wasn't bad but she didn't seem to know either. It was new. And Mike. Well, Mike couldn't take his eyes off of her.

Then again, what else is new? I smiled as I watched the scene unfold.

"Wow. She looks–" Dustin perked up.

"Pretty." Mike finished, his jaw practically on the floor.

El smiled at him shyly, a small blush dusted her cheeks. Mike seemed to realize what he had said and tried to play it off.

"Good. You look pretty good."

I rolled my eyes at his behavior and watched as El walked over to the mirror, Mike following. She seemed entranced at what she saw in the reflection. I can only imagine what it must be like for her.

She looked longingly into the mirror before wistfully whispering.

"Pretty." There was a pause, and her face seemed to fall a bit. "Good."

I pressed my lips into a firm line at the sight.

I just hope this works.

[warehousejobsnearme]

When we go about life, enjoying the comfort of our homes, there are certain things that could go unnoticed. We may not consciously be aware of the complexity of the pipe network, the appliances plus the drains that keep our homes running. Plumbing Tips That Will Save You Money It’s critical to know the top plumbing tips, they could help you avoid some nasty problems. It is not funny to run into plumbing problems, and learning a few tips on how homeowners could maintain the plumbing system could be such a lifesaver! Don’t Pour Grease Or Oil Down The Drain One of the greatest enemies of the plumbing system is allowing grease and oil in the kitchen sink. You will need to break it down before it will allow water waste to run away. Most people will tell you that eating oily food bungs them up and they end up feeling full without necessarily eating too much. That is exactly what happens when you dump grease or oil down the drain. The grease and oil start to build up in the pipes. The building up of the grease will continue, eventually clogging up your pipes. You will run into some serious plumbing problems. The damage and the costs that could result from this are horrendous. It would be easier and cheaper if you kept that from happening in the first place. The best place to start is by ensuring you don’t throw cooking liquid down the drain as you go about your kitchen tasks. Instead, use a different disposal option. A suggestion would be to wait for the oil to solidify first and then dispose it off in the compost pit or waste bin. Use A Strainer Have you ever thought about what happens when you take your shower? Our hair falls out and builds up over time inside the pipework. The soap residue does not make it any better. Clogs in a shower or sink drain are quite annoying, and continued use of the bathroom or sink without care could land you with such problems. When confronted by clogs in a shower or sink drain, you could get the first thought to use liquid drain cleaners. However, never ever entertain that thought. It seems like an easy way out of a huge problem. However, the chemicals in the liquid drain cleaner can eventually damage your plumbing infrastructure. You would be landing yourself with even crazier plumbing issues than you can imagine. The good news is, you can easily avoid this mess by using a basket strainer. This basket-type strainer helps keep away unwanted debris or foreign objects from going down the pipes. The basket allows water to flow freely. It is quite efficient for most sink types. The basket-strainer is also easy to remove and clean whenever you need to. It is built from stainless steel, easily resisting corrosion. If, for some reason, you still have some debris or clogging to deal with, then use a snake or a similar tool to pull out the blockage. Watch What You Flush Your toilet is not a trash can, and therefore, each homeowner will need to be conscious about the things that should not be flushed, and those that would be okay to flush. The fact is, flushing anything else except the toilet paper will eventually result into a nasty clog. Interestingly, some of those baby wipes labeled as flushable, are in the list of what you should not flush down the toilet. Products like paper towels and cotton swabs also are additional causes of toilet clogs. If you don’t already have a plunger, then next time you go out get yourself one. These clogging issues happen simultaneously, and it is important to be prepared for such eventualities. Toilet Leaks Toilet leaks can be tricky to spot, especially when they are tiny and barely noticeable. A constantly running toilet is a clear sign that your toilet is leaking. However, you may not easily tell where the leak is. The easiest way to tell if your toilet is leaking is to put food coloring in the toilet tank. After that, check if the color shows in the water in the bowl. If it does, then you have a leaking problem that needs fixing. Know Where Your Main Water Valve Is Have you ever checked where your main water valve is? What would you do if one day you ran into a plumbing issue? If you still haven’t, you will need to locate it as soon as possible. See, if your water pipes burst, turning off your main water valve would be your salvation, until the plumber gets there to help. If you cannot trace it, your whole home would have turned into an ocean before the plumbing experts arrive. If it’s a new home and you do not have an idea how to locate your water valve, you should get that information when you move in. If it’s your current home, start by checking where the main water point enters your home. Check on the front wall and see if it is there. If you do not trace it yet, check the mechanical room. If you are still not successful, check near the furnace or the water heater. If you have slab construction, another place you can check your water valve is within the crawl space. Whatever you do, make sure you find that valve. Make sure you do not have anything that could hinder you from quickly accessing that valve in case of emergencies. Prevent Your Plumbing From Freezing When winter knocks on our doors and the temperatures get to their bottom low, the plumbing system is at a high risk of freezing. Since we cannot keep away the winter, let’s learn how to prevent winter freezes in your plumbing through the season. The first step is to make sure the outside wall plumbing lines are insulated properly. One effective way to do this is to use a traditional wrap. That wrap could either be a rubber backing tape, bubble film, foam and foil, or even natural cotton. You can keep the pipes from freezing without using power. The way to do it is to let the cold water run or drip through the faucet you find in the exposed pipes. Even a tickle of running water will keep the pipes from freezing. Another tip is to ensure your home has good air circulation. Do not allow the temperatures to get below 16 degrees Celsius. Check the rooms that are a complete misery in the winter. Do not wait for the cold to choose the right air circulation system for such spaces. Do that in good time, and make use of the warm months to get that solution in place. Make Sure Your Main Sewer Drain Is Accessible The plumbing system usually is kept away from obvious human view. Otherwise, our homes would be looking all clumsy and unkept if all the piping was exposed. However, it is critical to keep your drain access point uncovered. Ensure the area around it remains clear and free. When faced with a sewage line blockage, it is critical to have room to move. This explains why the main sewer should remain accessible. Keep any carpeting, rags or toys from that space. Yes, do not even decorate the area. Keep it as free as possible. All the Dos and Don’ts that come with plumbing system maintenance can feel like a burden. That is why our experts are always available to give you the home services that would keep the system as secure as possible. Our sewer drain cleaning services will save you time and money. We are aware that the basement can be a nightmare to handle in homes. You may not even know what to do if you get an unexpected indoor swimming pool. That is why we are only a call away, to keep your home free from such experiences. Search for “Emergency Plumber” on NearMe.Vip to get help when you need it. Prolong Your Tap’s Life Dripping taps can be a real pain. The noise alone can drive you crazy. To avoid this, most homeowners will make sure the taps are turned off as tight as possible. You have no idea how bad an idea is and the damage it can cause to the taps. The extra pressure on the taps causes significant tear and wear. The way to handle a tap is to Turn the tap until you feel the natural stop point. Don’t put too much pressure on it as it only hurts the durability of the tap. When dealing with water taps, always remember that hand-tight is sufficient. When you go overboard with tightening the taps, you cause breakages that could be avoided, such as stripped screws. Dealing with the stripped screws is doable, but it is an annoyance that could be avoided. In case you are faced with a stripped screw, you can either use a rubber band to remove it or even drill a new slot. Drilling a small hole into the screw gives a chance for the screwdriver to get a grip. Whether your tap is modern or classic, you will need to carefully maintain it to prolong its life. We’re There When Things Go Wrong The fact is, even if we do not think about our pipes and drains on a daily basis because they are not obvious to the naked eyes, the plumbing systems need care and attention. Because they are in regular use, they suffer from tear and wear, and taking care of them before you get a problem makes a lot of sense. You do not want to wake up to a basement that is flooded or a nightmare scenario of flooded rooms. You should be doing everything you could to maintain the plumbing system, from preventing plumbing leaks in your home to avoiding clogs and keeping the pipes from freezing. However, you could still likely face a plumbing issue. This could be because you haven’t had the time to do the maintenance you should have or are unlucky enough to come across a problem beyond your expertise. That is where we come in. We take care of all your problems, major and minor, without inconveniencing you. Our promise to you is that our services will keep you free from plumbing issues. In case of any emergency, we’re here for you when the going gets tough. All you need to do is enter “Emergency Plumber” into the search box on NearMe.Vip.

[classic-rock-roller]

1. One of your exes keeps coming to your house, an your 12 year old son keeps answering the door. He does as you say, and tells him you’re not home, until one day he messes up and says to him, “Mom says she’s not home.” What does your ex do and how do you respond?

He’d push past my son, and come into the kitchen. I’d think he was Kevin and turn around and once I saw it was him, we’d start screaming at each other before I push him out of the house and tell him to leave. I don’t tell Kevin so as not to worry him.

2. You’ve been super busy at work lately, so Kevin has been getting your kids ready for school in the mornings. One morning you go downstairs and see him making their lunches, and a bit of ash from the cigarette in his mouth falls onto a sandwich. He doesn’t notice, and before you can say anything, he puts the other bread slice on top and boxes the sandwich. What do you do?

“Kevin, you just got ashes in that sandwich. You might want to make another one.” “I did?” “ Yes, please don’t smoke while making the kids’ lunches.”

3. Kevin is being extra bossy with you today, and after a while you tell him to cool it. He just looks at you and yells, “Respect my authority!” How do you respond?

“Respect your authority? I would if you weren’t being so bossy and sassy towards me.”

4. You got really drunk at a party with Crue one night, but somehow you ended up back home. Someone knocks on your door the next morning, and you open it to see Nikki. “Hey, sweet thing, how about some more sugar for Daddy?” He says. You ask him what the hell he’s talking about, and he just says, “Last night. You wanna go at it again?” You have no recollection of anything from the previous night. How do you respond?

“What the fuck are you talking about? I don’t remember anything from last night.”

5. You’re staying at Kevin’s great gramma’s house in Colorado in the middle of BFN. She’s got grey water hooked up so that her trees get water during the hot weather. One day, very early in the morning, you all hear a loud boom. You roll over while Kevin gets up to investigate. He goes downstairs, and you hear a muffled, “Oh God” before he comes running back upstairs, yelling, “Gramma Frieda! We got a problem!” You get up and are greeted by a terrible smell. You follow Kevin and his great gramma downstairs to see that the pipe used for the grey water exploded, and now there is raw sewage seeping through the basement. What do you all do?

We’d try to stop the sewage and call a plumber to get it fixed so there’s not too much damage.

6. You are on tour with your band and notice that your wind player reads one book like it’s the Bible. When you ask, she gladly tells you that it’s Ozzy Osbourne’s autobiography. One day, when you’re all on the bus, your bass player says something along the lines of, “Why do you read that book so much? It’s the same story over and over again.” The wind player angrily shouts, “It’s because my dad was an asshole and I used this book for fatherly guidance instead of him!” The bus goes instantly quiet before the wind player locks herself at the back of the bus. What happens next?

I’d head back and knock on the door “sweetheart, are you ok? I’m sorry about him he can be oblivious sometimes. Is there anything I can do?”

7. You’re at a family reunion when one of Kevin’s cousins comes up to you guys. “So, Kevin, where’d ya find this hot piece?” he asks. How do you two respond?

I’d blush like crazy and Kevin would smile and say, “ I found this “hot piece” at one of our concerts.“

8. You’re going through and doing some thorough spring cleaning when your twelve year old son comes up to you with a shoebox. “Mom, what’s this?” You look at it, and it’s some, shall we say, dodgy photos from when you and Kevin were touring with your respective bands. How do you respond?

“Oh, that’s nothing. It’s nothing interesting mostly old papers of mine and your dads.” I’d grab it from him and put it in mine and Kevin’s room.

9. Your band has been on tour for a few weeks, and you feel like shit. Everyone’s experiencing a little jet lag, but you’re just feeling awful. Upon further investigation, you find out you’re pregnant. You don’t recall sleeping with anyone since you left for the tour, but you don’t know if you can go on without receiving medical attention. What do you do?

I’d confide in my wind player because she’s my closest friend and then I’d try to find an obgyn that I could go to while on tour.

10. You and Kevin have lived in the same house for 20 years. The old couple down the street have just passed away, and a new couple from Texas move in. Kevin looks out the window a lot, and he always comments how at night there are never any lights on except for the one in the basement. One night when he comes up to bed, he says to you, “I am a thousand percent sure that they are cooking meth in Old Man Waterman’s house. There’s no other explanation. How do you respond?

“How do you know that?” “They’re always down there. What else could they be doing?” “You watch too much Breaking Bad.”

11. You come home one day to hear that Kevin is on the phone. He sounds upset, so you just wave in greeting when you walk in. He halfheartedly waves back before his face falls. “Well, that’s great, then. You get to blame your life on me. Congratu-fucking-lations.” He hangs up and sighs. “What was that about?” you ask. How does he respond?

“Yeah, my brother just blamed me for most of what happened in his life.” “Aw, honey, I’m sorry.”

———-

1) Your band enters a “battle of the bands” with Crüe and QR. How does your band do? 

 2) You tell Randy your pregnant and at first he is elated. But over the coming weeks you can see that he’s less excited. When you ask him about it he says, “I’m just worried about being like my father. I don’t want to be like him.” How do you respond? 

3) Randy is putting your six month old son to bed and you go in to check on them because it’s been a while. When your enter the room, you see Randy walking around with him and hum singing QR. “Is that one of QR’s songs?” You ask. How does he respond? 

4) You went to QR’s practice and while getting ready to leave you’ve lost your car keys. You and Randy spend twenty minutes looking for you keys when Kevin comes up and says, "Are these your keys? I found them on the floor.” How do you respond?

 5) You’re daughter has been awfully quiet. You and Randy go to look for her and find her about to flush your four kittens down the toilet. What do you you? 

6) You and Randy are staying in a really seedy hotel and were given a room that hadn’t even been cleaned from the last people who stayed. You voice your opinion and while you’re unpacking the desk clerk tells you that you need to leave because you complain too much. How do you and Randy react? 

7) You’re sitting at the table with Randy working on school work. Kevin comes over and says, “Are you done yet, you freakin’ nerds?” How do you and Randy react? 

8)You’re at a bar with Kevin and Randy. You order a beer and take one sip before saying, "I now remember why I hate beer.” Kevin takes your glass and downs it all at once. You look at him and he says, “Well we can’t waste it.” How do you and Randy respond? 

9)You and Randy are rushing around to finish last minute things for Kevin and his girlfriends wedding. You are setting up the hall at the hotel and your six year old son is trying to help. You leave because it is getting late. As you are halfway down the road, Randy looks in the back and screams, "Crap, we forgot James." What do you you? 

10) You're staying at the hotel for Kevin and his girlfriends wedding. When you get back to the room you find Randy wearing your pajama pants. "Why are you wearing my pants?" "I forgot mine and didn't realize until we got here." How do you respond? 

11) You and Randy are taking care of your cousin's baby. You're taking to him and walking around with him. You're trying to keep him from fussing too much because your at a family function. All of a sudden Randy goes, "You'll make a great mother to our kids one day." How do you respond? 

@osbournebemydaddy your move love