#and class was particularly difficult today because I couldn’t sit still and the professor was just talking about deeply sad shit and I have

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

Y’all I went to all my classes

Drop praise in the chat😩

If you wanna see my daily rant it’s in the tags but if any of the subject matter makes you uncomfy then feel free to block those tags :)

[the-odd-devil]

The Sky Is Dark, But I See You : Chapter 1

Edward Nashton x f!reader Dark Academia College AU

Summary : Edward Nashton caught your attention instantly, how could he not? You've never seen someone like him, from his boyish feature to his fashion sense, everything makes him standout. But you're totally normal about him.

Word Count : 1 578

Warnings : None I think? Tell me if you find any! (there will be smut and other riddler paraphernalia in the future chapters)

Author's Note : I'm soooooo excited for this fic hihi! I really love the dark academia aesthetic and I wanted to do a college AU fic for Eddie and I feel like the vibes really match! Plus Gotham is already very dark academia I feel like! Anyway, I'll add a link for the mood board of this fic later! Enjoy <3

Update! thank you so much @always-andromeda for helping me and proof reading! it's always so fun and so useful for my english to work with you! <33

Chapter I : It'll go away

The weather today is particularly shitty. Which is saying something, because the weather in Gotham is always awful. Usually, you don’t mind it. You like – no – love the rain. You’ve always found beauty in the tiniest things; things that others find ugly and disturbing. But you think that there is beauty in everything. 

The ambiance Gotham has when it rains is substantial. Everything seems to be a blur. All your senses are affected.  The smell of the street changes, humidity suffocates you, the usual noisy sirens and vehicles are muffled by the falling water. Some days, you take off your jacket to feel the drops on your skin. 

But today is not that kind of day. You sprint from the subway station to the main entrance of Gotham University, taking no time to appreciate it’s beautiful gothic architecture. You don’t even notice  the fact that at this time of the morning the lights are still on, making the building even more imposing, rising in the dark and foggy sky. 

Once again you’re late to class, you couldn’t get off the bed after working all night at the college cafeteria. You fucking hate that. Having to rush to find where the room is, not being able to choose your seat or take a coffee. All of that stresses you out even more than you are already. And you rapidly start to fall into a cycle of feeling not good enough. You’re late, you feel like your grades will never be high enough, and that you’ll never be able to pay your student loan. You’ll be in debt all your life in a city that couldn’t care less about the ones who need it the most. 

When you arrive in front of the closed door, you wait a second to take a deep breath. You will not let your mood impact your grades. You need to make a good impression in this new class. Feeling ready, you knock on the door and open it. 

“Good morning, sorry for being late…” you say, first thing, while looking at the professor.

“It’s okay! The storm really had made it difficult for everyone. You can take a seat.”

You scan the room, searching where to sit, when you see him. A big smile grows immediately on your face, fixing him. He dives his head in his paper immediately when he notices you too. You could see his face becoming red even from his seat at the bottom of the class. A light chuckle passes through your lips as you sit a few rows before him. You saw him rapidly looking from his paper to you while you crossed the room and can feel him looking at you now that you are in your chair. 

You think you noticed him for the first time in your very first year at Gotham University. He had made you turn your head all the way back to follow his figure as he walked through the same corridor as you. He looked down almost immediately after noticing your stare. Your college friend, Sarah, was looking at you questionably before chuckling at how cartoonish the action was. The next few times you walked that corridor the same week, you completely ignored Sarah talking to you to spy every corner to see him. But hey, you were just curious. His looks and attitude made you want to know more. He didn’t look like any other student you had met in the cathedral-like building. You could tell by watching him walk that he was shy and reserved. The other times you met him going from one class to another had confirmed that. He kept excusing himself in a worried, soft tone every time he even brushed against someone. He was also always alone. Which only made you want to learn more about him. And be his friend; his only friend.  He reminded you of your younger self, always too scared to stand out, trying to make yourself as tiny as possible, hoping that nobody would notice you, and not having friends because nobody wanted to hear you talk about your favorite cartoons. His look also instantly drew you to him. You’d never seen someone who looked like him. You found him very beautiful, but in an unusually boyish way. He didn’t have the playboy physique that you usually saw on magazine covers. His face was round and soft, and he had high and visible cheekbones that made him so appealing. His eyes seemed to always sparkle despite his loneliness. His lips were so delicate, you could only imagine what he looked like when he smiled, changing the shape of his eyes and accentuating his cheekbones. You surprised yourself wondering how you could make him smile when you’re alone with your thoughts. You also loved his fashion sense, distinguishing himself further from all the other students. You could tell right away that all his clothes are thrifted. Some were ridiculously large on him; like his mother had given him his brother's hand-me-downs. And some were a bit too small; so tight that it made you wonder what he looked like underneath all that fabric. He also seemed to wear an infinite amount of layers, which made you question how he didn't suffocate over the summer.

Strangely, his outfits were always coherent with some recurring garments and an earthy color palette, greens being the most prevalent. His wardrobe consisted of old knitted sweaters, vintage trousers, washed out white or beige shirts (sometimes paired with a tie). And he always wore the same shoes; old, deep brown, low rise docs which allowed you to see his often mismatched funky patterned socks. It ended up making him look more academic and in theme compared to the other students, almost like he'd been born and lived in the walls of the university. His look and features are amplified by his silver wired and oval glasses, accentuating the boyish, academic look. The glasses immediately caught your attention, and you used them as a pitiful excuse for why you were looking at him in the first place.

“Oh, I just really love his glasses! I need new ones!” you told Sarah, who responded by rolling her eyes at the fact that you held your gaze even when his back was to you.

Sarah is a really good friend, always there for you. But she was immediately done with your bullshit. She wasn’t dumb or blind, and sighed every time you denied your attraction to the mysterious boy as you forced her to take the seat in front of you so you could get a good view of him or when you completely tuned out her voice every time you crossed paths with him. You told yourself that you were being totally normal about him. You’re just intrigued, you reasoned, only looking at him occasionally, where you are, in fact, borderline stalking him. You had started following him when you were alone and had memorized his schedule just two months after seeing him for the first time. You hoped he wasn’t questioning the fact that he’s seen you so often. 

And still, you haven’t spoken to him. Neither has he approached you. But you know he noticed you. He probably noticed you the first time you looked at each other in the hallway. He noticed you multiple times after that. One time, while studying at the library after carefully choosing your spot, you smiled at him. He froze, blushed, and then looked down at his paper with extreme intensity for the rest of the time you were there. He didn’t even look up once, you got time to take a coffee and go to the bathroom, he hadn’t moved, his face bright red. You thought it was the cutest thing ever. So, you gave him your prettiest smile every time your eyes met and soon became addicted to all his reactions. Blushing, sometimes glasses fogging, other times bumping into someone and babbling mindless excuses while his books fell, fixing the ground while picking them, avoiding your gaze. On rare occasions he maintained eye contact. Intense, burning eye contact, before picking all his things and running away. Soon you wanted more, more reactions, more babbling. You were hoping to become the only thing on his mind. It seems to work, you caught him more than once looking at you thinking you wouldn’t notice, sometimes, you’ll let him do, other times, you caught him, he almost spit all his coffee once. He does drink a lot of coffee, to a point where you're pretty sure his smell has a hint of it, probably mix with cheap detergent and deodorant, you’re imagining a warm, floral tint to it, combined with the smell of old books. You’re totally normal about him, though. The little hearts you draw on his coffee cup when you serve him at the cafeteria is just a nice touch. Because he can’t look you in the eye when he orders with the most shy and soft voice that resonates in your head every night before you fall asleep. Especially not when you see him choose the same spot to sit in everyday, where you can smile and wave to him, making him choke on his coffee. 

And it’s totally because you don’t know anybody in this new class that, when prompted to choose a partner for the class, you wrote his name down next to yours without asking him.

[andromedasstarship]

i could not choose between 77-80 so i overbearingly ask u to use each of them with spencer reid if u wish 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

80. “Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner.” + 77- “If you want to leave, we can leave.”

send a prompt + character from this list! 

pairing - spencer reid x gn!reader

warnings - stress?? mostly fluff 

a/n - tysm kenna for requesting this i love you and i loved writing this. i also went overboard on this one bye! ive also never posted something this long in an ask reply before so if this looks weird BYE!

Your car had long gone cold, but you still couldn’t find the energy to pull yourself out yet. It was futile to try and wrestle your emotions into a tightly sealed box; as soon as you crossed the threshold of the town-home you shared with Spencer, you knew he’d be able to read you like a book. Damn genius profiler skills.

Taking a quick look at the time you knew you had to suck it up and go inside; you were pushing how ‘late’ you could be without him worrying something had happened on your commute home. With a deep sigh, you grabbed your bag from the passenger seat and exited the car; taking your sweet time with locking the car behind you and digging your house keys out of the bottom of your bag.

To put it simply, it had been a difficult year. It was the final year of your Phd. program and while- all things considered- you had had an amazing time, the past few months had been both physically and mentally draining. What was once your lifelong passion had suddenly started to feel like a chore; a chore you felt you weren’t even good at anymore. Almost every day was spent either in your own classes or teaching undergrads. Almost every night was spent on the final edits of your thesis or grading work from your students. The few moments of freedom you found were spent doing the boring parts of adult life: housekeeping, getting your car fixed, calling elderly family members, etc.

Neither of you had formerly addressed it, but you knew it was taking a toll on your relationship. Spencer being busy was a constant, but it was normally balanced out by your typical 9-5 schedule. But recently, even on the nights he was home you’d be too wrapped up in your own work to even sit down and eat dinner with him. By the time you crawled into bed he’d be long asleep and in the mornings you’d been leaving for work earlier and earlier in order to get research time in at the university library. It felt like the two of you hadn’t even been awake in the same room for weeks, let alone do anything relationship-y.

Tonight was supposed to change that. Kind of. His team was having a fancy dinner to celebrate some major milestone that you couldn’t remember. It’d been on the books for months, but kept getting pushed back by surprise cases. It felt like everyone held their breath this week, waiting for a case to pop up, but instead everyone was left pleasantly surprised when no such thing happened. It was going to be a great night: classic Rossi pasta dish, all partners and kids invited. Even though the two of you wouldn’t be alone, it’d still be a perfectly good excuse to get out, put on some nice outfits and have a fun evening with friends.

Spencer had been particularly excited. The past week, you felt as if it was the only thing he ever talked about. Not that the two of you were having extensive conversations. He kept talking about how great it would be to get out of the house and how much he was looking forward to having a totally work free evening. His excitement warmed your heart.

Which is why you were taking so long to find your keys. Today had been one of the hardest day you’d experienced in a long time. The thesis meeting you had with your advisor- that you’d been staying up late every night editing for- had gone horribly; it was as if everything you prepared was wrong. Almost every student in the class you taught scored poorly on the latest assessment- on a unit you considered yourself an expert on-, something you viewed as a failure of your ability to convey the info. And to top it all off, even though you felt as if you’d spent hours upon hours working yourself to the bone the past week- in order to clear space for tonight-, you still felt as if you had piles of work to catch up on.

You knew the stress and tension of the day would read clear on your body as soon as Spencer got a look at you. And with how excited he’d been, you absolutely didn’t want to ruin the dinner. You’d hate for him to feel as if you were being selfish or that you couldn’t even prioritize him in your schedule.

You took one last deep breath, before going to put the key into the doorknob. Just as you touched the handle, the door swung open from the other side.

“Jesus!” You exclaimed, one hand clutching your chest as you nearly jumped out of your skin. In front of you was Spencer, smiling down at you with that irresistible grin of his.

“Did I scare you? Sorry. I thought I heard you car pull up earlier and when you didn’t come in I thought maybe something was wrong so I wanted to come check-”

You quickly cut him off- even though you did find his worrying a bit endearing- by pressing a quick kiss to his lips. 

“A good song came on just as I pulled in, couldn’t just get out.” You lied, adding a small laugh for effect. It was an on brand situation for you, something certainly believable. If Spencer had any doubts, he didn’t question you, simply moved out of the doorframe so you could step in.

Inside the house, you set your bag down by the front door like you always did. While kicking your shoes off, you pulled your jacket off, smiling when Spencer had his hands already open to hang it on the rack. You knew he had that ridiculous memory- and you had a pretty set routine-, but it still made your heart swell every time he anticipated your next move and went the extra mile to be helpful.

“So, how was your day?" Spencer asked, as the two of you made your way to the kitchen area. “What’d Professor Addams have to say in your meeting?”

You clenched at the handle of the fridge, grinding your teeth before pulling the door open. When you turned to look at Spencer, you saw he made himself comfortable on one of the countertop stools.

“Went well. They gave me some uh, um, some comprehensive revisions.” You said flatly, turning back to face the fridge; missing the skeptical look Spencer was throwing you.

“That’s good?” He said slowly, before adding, “well how was class? You just wrapped up the last unit didn’t you?” You both knew he knew the answer, but was just attempting to further the conversation. Had it been any other day you would’ve found it endearing, but today just wasn’t that day.

You slammed the fridge door shut, just hard enough to be cause for concern. “I thought tonight was absolutely no shop talk. Huh? Why don’t we just start that rule now.” You said, a slight edge to your voice. It’s not his fault, it’s not his fault.

“Are you okay-”

“Yes! I just don’t-”

“If there’s something wrong, you know you can tell-”

“There’s nothing wrong-”

“Do you need to stay-”

“Stop!” You exclaimed, bringing an end to the constant cutting each other off. “Everything is fine. Okay?” You said, unable to maintain eye contact.

Spencer slowly nodded, though you could tell he didn’t believe an ounce of what you had just said. Luckily for you, he seemed to let it go, falling back in his seat.

“I’m gonna go shower and get ready and then we can leave, alright?” You asked rhetorically. When he just nodded again, you very quickly walked up to him and pressed another quick kiss to his lips. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

---

The ride to Rossi’s was silent, something that normally wouldn’t have bothered either of you had it not been for the borderline argument you had in the kitchen. As you pulled up a few cars down from the house, you caught Spencer staring at you from the passenger seat, a slightly concerned look on his face.

“Stop doing that.” You huffed out, but there was no real bite in your voice.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked gently, reaching out to push a piece of your hair away from your face. God that was sweet.

You quickly nodded and threw a very forced smile his way, not quite meeting his eyes. “I’m fine. I promise, come on.” You said, killing the engine and pushing open your car door.

Before you could fully open the door, Spencer’s arm shot out across your body and pulled the door back shut with a bang.

“Spencer!” You yelped, startled by his sudden movement. You turned and gave him a bewildered look.

“You always look over my head when you lie.” Spencer stated.

“Oh I do not-” You started, but letting the sentence fall flat as soon as you realized you currently were looking over his head.

“Your favorite song came on the radio, twice, on the drive here and you didn’t react at all either times.” He said. When you still didn’t say anything he continued. “What’s going on? You know you can tell me.”

The look he was giving you was making you feel all sorts of guilty. Of course he cared, that’s why you loved him so much. You just didn’t want to ruin something that’d been in the works for so long, all because you had a bad day.

“Spencer,” you started, giving him a very pointed look and making sure to hold eye contact, “I’m fine. Can we just go in?”

Spencer shook his head, externally searching your face for more clues while also internally thinking back to any clues from your kitchen fight. “We aren’t going anywhere, until you talk to me.” He urged.

It probably wasn’t the best move on his part, seeing as you both were incredibly stubborn. The two of you were unrelenting, both staring blankly at the other; hoping the other one would break first. After nearly 5 minutes of silence, it became very clear that neither of you were standing down anytime soon.

Spencer reached his hand out again, gently cupping your cheek; internally you cursed your body’s natural reaction to lean into his touch. “What’s going on?” He asked, voice much softer than earlier.

You were internally screaming over how caring he was. Damn him! You cursed yourself for not being able to just play the role of perfect partner for one night.

“I’m exhausted.” You said, voice quiet. “My meeting went horrible day. I absolutely failed at teaching my students the last unit. I’ve been bringing so much work back to the house I haven’t even been able to give you a second of attention. And now we have this dinner that you’ve been looking forward to for months and I don’t want to ruin-”

This time, it was Spencer that quickly cut off your rambles with a kiss.

“Do you want to leave?” He asked, as if it were the most simple thing ever

You gave him a shocked look. “Spencer, you’ve been talking about this dinner for weeks. I, I can’t ask you to put this off, you and the team rarely get time to-”

“If you want to leave, we can leave.” He said. His voice was so sincere it made the whole thing that much more difficult. He was too good.

“Spencer, no.” You said, putting special emphasis on the ‘no’. “We haven’t even walked in the door, there’s nothing to leave yet. I’m not going to ruin the dinner we’ve all been planning on for months. I’ll be fine for a couple hours.”

He didn’t answer, instead pulled his phone out and quickly started to type out a text.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting Rossi, I’m gonna tell him you aren’t feeling well and we can’t come anymore.”

“We’re outside his house! It’s not a big deal-!

“Your comfort and happiness is more important to me than some stupid dinner!” Spencer cut you off, giving you a very pointed look. You weren’t sure your heart could take the swelling much longer.

“Spencer, you’ve been planning-”

“I don’t want to hear it-”

“You’ve wanted to get out of the house for so long!” You stressed, giving him a ‘duh’ look.

“We can go do something else!” He replied, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Just us, no pressure to be ‘on’ in front of anyone else.” That did sound good- No!

“I’m not gonna be the one who keeps their boyfriend away from his friends-”

“I see them every day. Every day. One dinner means nothing.” Spencer said confidently, clasping your hand tightly between his.

You contemplated for what seemed like hours; though it couldn’t have been more than twenty seconds. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of something in my life.” Spencer said, giving you a very mock serious look; you couldn’t help but laugh at that. “There you are.” He said, smiling to match yours.

You turned the car on, clicking your seatbelt back into place. “So, where to pretty boy?” You asked.

“Well, I heard of this new ice cream place that just opened up. Their ‘claim to fame’ is they make over 50 flavors in store every single day. Did you know on average it takes nearly three hours from start to finish to make a single batch of ice cream? Or that when ice cream-”

You shook your head in amusement, chancing a couple glances in his direction as you were driving. You loved his excited ramblings and animated hand motions as he further explained the history of ice cream; as well as all the random facts about the place he was directing you to. As you got closer to your new destination, all you could think about was how lucky you were to, to be loved by someone who always knew just what to say.

---

permanent tags - @sunflowersandotherthings

[valmalfoy]

Hello, honey! I saw the requests were open) Would you like to write Young!Sirius x reader With reader being optimistic everything, calm, A-Student, and Sirius mildly despises her, because she’s too “perfect”, but she’s friendly. But than something happens to him, she helps him to calm down, he snaps at her, because she wouldn’t ever know what’s that like, but turns out she has actually been through the similar situation, so she taught herself to see the good sides? I hope u like it 🤍🤍

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Warnings: angst, jealous sirius ;), mad sirius but an all around fluffy ending.

A/N: I absolutely adore Sirius Black and couldn’t wait to write this one. I made this based in autumn and the reader is a slytherin (because I love cross house relationships and I thought it’d make the feud between them a bit more interesting.) Enjoy and as always thank you for requesting! <3

Y/N was a perfect student. Perfect grades, excelling in every class she attended and she made it look so effortless. Everything came to her so easily in class. They could be studying one of the hardest subjects at hogwarts at she’d make it look as easy as flying a broom when really it felt like trying to catch a rather difficult golden snitch. She was also undoubtedly gorgeous, nobody could dispute that. Her most striking feature always catching the eyes of boys from all the houses. But above all, she was kind. Which some found odd considering her house, the house of the cunning. Always offering to help that first year find their way to class or Gryffindor with a tricky question. She was one that could be unforgettable. You know, the type that you could walk past on the street and not know a single thing about them and daydream about your future with her. And to his friends disbelief, Sirius despised her. They could never pinpoint why because he always seemed to bring her up when he returned to the Gryffindore common room or during class when she was simply writing notes down on parchment paper.

“If you hate her so much, then explain to me why she is always on your mind.” James whispered to Sirius with his arms crossed and eyebrows knitted together. Sirius glared at his friend, trying to focus on the notes that Professor Mcgonagall read to the class rather quickly.

“How could you even ask that question, Potter.” James put his arms up in a surrendering position.

“Merlin, sorry.” James mumbled, “Didn’t know it was such a touchy subject.”

“It’s not a touchy subject. I would like to focus on my notes, please.” Sirius hunched over his parchment paper and continued to scribble out his messy handwriting.

“It must be because every girl would do anything at will just go get a glance from you but she won’t even look your way or acknowledge you.” James said with a sigh before leaning back into his chair. Sirius’s head whipped to look at Potter with his jaw hanging.

“I’m not even going to entertain what you just said, James.” Sirius warned before earning a quiet laugh from James. Sirius’s eyes drifting to across the classroom where Y/N quietly wrote. He noticed that whenever she was focused on something, she’d tap her foot under the desk quietly. He wondered if it were a specific song she’d tap it to or it was something she did absentmindedly. Sirius shook the thought of and continued with his notes.

It wasn’t until a couple weeks later that he’d speak to the girl that everyone knew of for the first time.

It was when the leaves had shifted from a green to red, yellow and orange. The sky turning a warm grey color and the weather got colder, everyone wearing wool sweaters now instead of cotton t-shirts. And much to Sirius’ notice, other students started receiving letters, clothes and packages full of everything fall from their families back at home. Writing about how they missed their company during this season. And just like every other year that Sirius attended hogwarts, he never received anything from his parents. Sirius knew exactly why and so did his friends. He wasn’t like his family. He never exactly fit in during family dinners, oh and let’s not forget he didn’t carry on a long line of tradition by sorting into the house of slytherin. So this time of year was rather difficult for him. He never understood the joy of autumn.

One breezy morning in the great hall, Sirius sat with his friends at the Gryffindor table. He watched as the excitedly teared into packages and read their letters from family. Sirius quietly excused himself from the table although he was sure his friends wouldn’t notice he was gone with all of the goodies that laid in front of them. But a certain girl watched him leave in a hurry and out to one of the courtyard’s. He often came out here to relax, listening to the leaves crunch under his shoes and get some fresh air. But today he simply sat on a bench and did his best not to lash out.

“Sirius Black, is it?” A calming voice was heard only a couple feet away from him. When he looked up from his lap his breath was caught in his throat when his gaze fell upon Y/N Y/L/N. And for an endless moment their eyes met.

“What’s it to you.” He nearly growled.

“Mind if I sit?” She asks. And if Sirius could describe her voice it would be as sweet as honey and as soft as silk. Although, he’d never admit that.

“Out of all the benches you choose this one?”

“Please.” How could he said no, she was being polite about it.

“Right then.” Sirius said before scooting over on the bench. “What does the golden girl want?” He snapped, earning a confused gaze from her.

“Here.” She reached into her bag and pulled out a letter, sealed with with a green wax.

“I don’t want your pity.” He said just not yet taking the letter from the girl.

“Believe me, I know that.” She shook her head looking down at the letter. “But I also know that you don’t receive letters from your parents.”

“How did you-?” He tried to say but he was quickly cut off.

“It’s easy to pick out the people that are like yourself.”

Sirius scoffed at her words, “As if you’re anything like me. You’re absolutely perfect and i’m well.. not.”

“I am so far from perfect.” She shrugged, still holding tightly onto the letter so the small breeze would not carry it away. “I don’t receive letters from my family either.”

“You don’t?” Sirius asked in disbelief.

“My parents are hufflepuffs. I wish I could’ve seen the look on their faces when they found out I was sorted into Slytherin. They say they don’t mind but I haven’t gotten a letter since my third year.” She laughed at the last bit. “Holidays aren’t so fun either. But I tend to look on the good side of things.” Y/N held the letter out to Sirius before he hesitatly took it. She stood up from the bench, pushing her hands into her coat picked before smiling as a signal of an wordless goodbye. She turned on her heels and headed into the warmth of the Hogwarts school.

As soon as she was gone, Sirius carefully opened the letter and began to read:

“Dear Sirius,

Your friends care about you a lot more than they tend to lead on. I will say I was quite shocked to hear of your sudden interest in my whereabouts in the school. But besides the things you’ve said about me, your friends brought to my attention that you were never really close with your family. James’ somehow knew about my situation as well and no matter what I say will not tell me how he got this information.. He thought that maybe if we talked that we could resolve this conflict you have towards me and that you’d find something in me to relate to.

While I may not be a close relative or someone you particularly like, i’ve decided to write you letters so you don’t look so left out. You don’t have to say they’re from me either. Because how embarrassing would that be, right? I guess it doesn’t matter, so do what you will with my letters.

Sincerely,

Y/N Y/L/N.”

With a smile now growing a permanent home Sirius’ face, he tucked the letter deep into his pocket so as it not to fall out when he walked back into the school. Maybe Y/N wasn’t so bad after all.

[bbyx]

in your dreams - part one

Summary: Remus Lupin is head over heels for Narcissa, but she’s not allowed to date until her sister (y/n) has a boyfriend. As a solution, Remus enlists Sirius to become (y/n)’s boyfriend.                                                                        Pairings: reader x sirius, remus x narcissa, lucius x narcissa, james x lily Disclaimer: This is basically harry potter universe x 10 things i hate about you. You DON’T need to have seen the movie to understand bc this is basically a retelling of the story. Also some of the dialogue has been taken straight from the movie. ALSO in this story Narcissa and Bellatrix are NOT Sirius’s cousins.

Hogwarts. It was beautiful, breathtaking even from the train window. The great castle looms into view, and (y/n) Knightley gets slightly tearful at the fact that this is the beginning of her last year at Hogwarts. A year from now you would hopefully begin your training as a healer at St.Mungos. That is if your father didn’t marry you off before that. 

Your thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the compartment door sliding open. A group of giggling girls pop their heads in, blasting a horrendously high pitched song from a portable cassette player.

“Hi we’re the Promenade ball committee! Make sure to buy a ticket. It’ll be a night to remember!” One of them says in a sugar sweet voice, handing you a purple flyer. You simply roll your eyes as an answer and the girls leave, mumbling to themselves. You manage to hear a what a bitch through the high pitched singing. You glance down at the paper. It reads:

Promenade ball! Hogwarts class of 1978

May 22nd - 8:00 to 12:00

Tickets : 10 galleons each

You scrunch the paper into a ball and throw it out the open window. 

Balls were stupid anyways.

Remus walked into Professor Myriads office, the head of Gryffindor house. He’s missed Hogwarts. Spending one year abroad at Ilvermorny was a great experience but it couldn't compete with the beauty of Hogwarts. In one year, so much had changed yet it still felt the same way it had in his first year. Strange but familiar.

“Remus Lupin. Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed your stay in America. Now I know you remember this school like the back of your hand but it is a Hogwarts rule that any returning students must be shown around the premises again. I’ve assigned Peter Pettigrew to be your guide for today.” She says motioning to Peter standing outside, waving excitedly. “You may go to class now.” The silver haired woman said, dismissing him quickly. Remus reached down for his bookbag when a shadow stood leaning in the doorway. 

“Padfoot!”

“Moony! Missed you mate.” Sirius and Remus embraced each other tightly, Professor Myriad cleared her throat. 

“Sirius Black. I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. You better not get in trouble this year if you want to graduate.” She gave him a disapproving glance. He answered with a charming smile.

“Only so we can have these moments together. Should I, uh, get the lights?”

“Oh very clever Mr. Black. That’ll be ten points from Gryffindor.”

“Remus! Oh we’ve missed you so much. Tell me how it was. How were the states? Good god, so many things have changed in the past year.” Peter said, spitting out more questions than Remus could handle.

“It was nice, Ilvermorny was very laid back. They study native magic and lots of non verbal spells. I’ll tell you more at dinner.”

“Allright, let me give you the breakdown, even though you know most of this stuff.” Peter said.

They begin to walk around the grounds.

“Over there you’ve still got your basic beautiful people.” He motions to a group of students sitting under a tree. “To the left we have the coffee kids. A new developpement since Dippet allowed a coffee machine in the Great Hall.”

“Interesting.” Remus said, looking at the students who couldn’t seem to sit still.

One of them knocked over his cup, filled with rich brown liquid, onto the other’s lap. “Whoa”

“That was a Costa Rican, asshole!”

“Very edgy.  Don’t make any sudden moves around them.” Peter added. 

They now approached a few students dressed in large hats and leather boots.

 “These guys…” Peter started.

“Wait wait.  Let me guess.  Cowboys?”

“Yeah, ever since that muggle movie Grayeagle came out.”

“Who would have thought that I would see more cowboys back at Hogwarts than the US.”

They now neared a group of students sitting on the grass, scribbling on parchment furiously.                

“These are your future Ministers. Hey guys.  How ya doin’?” Peter waved to the group. They rolled their eyes at him and went back to they’re books.

“Yesterday I was their god.” Peter said wistfully.

Remus chuckled, he had missed this atmosphere. “What happened.”

“Bogie Levenstein started a rumor that I...that I used an enchanted quill on my OWL’s.”

“Did you?” Remus asked, already knowing the answer.

“Not the point.” Muttered Peter.

“So they kicked you out?” Remus continued.

“Hostile takeover.  But don’t worry.  They’ll pay.  Now over here…”

“Merlin’s sake.” Remus whispered as a beautiful, creamy skinned dark haired girl walked by.

 “What group is she in?”

“The “don’t even think about it” group. That’s Narcissa Knightley.  Fifth year.” Peter said, shaking his head at his friend. Remus' mouth was still agape as she walked past him with her friend.

“Yup, see, there’s a difference between “like” and “love”.  Because I like my wand, but I love my Snakeskin backpack.” Narcissa explained to the other girl.

“But I love my wand.” Her friend says clutching her wand to her chest.

“That’s because you don’t have a snakeskin backpack.” Narcissa said, like it was the most obvious thing. Her friend looks enamoured by her wisdom.

“Oohhh.”

“Listen. Forget her.  Incredibly uptight father, and it’s a widely known fact that the Knightley sisters aren’t allowed to date.” Peter said, shaking his Remus's shoulder.

“Uh huh...yeah.”

At dinner later that night, Remus couldn’t keep his gaze off the enchanting girl at the Slytherin table.

“Earth to Moony!” James said between mouthfuls.

“Mate, we haven’t seen you in months. Talk. Or would you rather go join the Slytherins.” Sirius says, glaring at the green robed students.

“He has a thing for Narcissa Knightley.” Remus gave Peter a death glare.

“She’s pretty, but not as pretty as Lily Evans.” James sighed, looking at the auburn haired girl.

“Prongs, you're still running after her? It’s been, what, three years of her constantly rejecting you.” Remus chuckled.

“At least Lily’s allowed to date.” James retorted.

“You guys are pathetic.” Sirius said, grinning cockily, knowing he could get any girl at Hogwarts easily.

“Okay then.  What did everyone think of the Tales of the Wizard-Goblin war?” Professor Binns, Hogwarts only ghost professor, asked.

“I loved it. The part with Ginnamora was soooo romantic.” A clueless girl sighed.

“Romantic?  Buckthorn?!  He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Giraf Abbott trying to nail his leftovers.” (y/n) said to the girl, earning eyerolls from the other students. 

Lucius Malfoy chuckles cockily. “As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends?”

Giggles erupt through the room. (y/n) doesn’t turn around to face him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d pissed her off.

“I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.”

Just then, a dark haired boy strolls confidently inside the classroom.

“What’d I miss?” Sirius asked.

“The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education.” You answered, gritting your teeth furiously.

“Good.” He turned around and went back out of the room.

“Hey, hey!” The ghost professor looked like he was about to go after him but decided to stay put.

“Uh,Professor.  Is there any chance we could get (y/n) to take her calming drought before she comes to class?” Lucius said, high fiving his fellow slytherins.

“Mr.Malfoy, someday you’re gonna get hexed and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it.  And Miss. Knightley.  I want to thank you for your point of view.” Professor Binns stated. (y/n) smiled to herself.

Take that Malfoy.

“I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years of pureblood oppression.  It must be tough.” Professor Binns' words wiped the grin right off her face. (y/n) thanks Merlin that Lucius Malfoy, with his inflated ego, couldn’t see her face. Professor Binns continues.

“But the next time you storm around the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures crusading for better house elves, or whatever it is you wealthy purebloods complain about, ask them why they can’t buy a book written by a ghost!”

 His normally monotone voice was now strident. Never in your six years at Hogwarts had you ever heard Professor Binns get so riled up. The whole class was taken about by his sudden burst of emotion. You quickly recover from your slight shock.

“Anything else?”

“Ten points from Gryffindor.  Go to your head of house.” Professor Binns stated, sounding a little brittle.

“What?!  Professor Binns!” You plead but he’s already started scribbling on the chalkboard. (y/n) storms out, making sure to hit Lucius Malfoy with her bag on the way.

Professor Myriad was scribbling a letter when you reached her office, knocking on the doorway to make your presence known. The silver haired woman lowered her glasses as you sat down in a crimson chair.

“So I hear you were terrorizing Professor Binns‘s class.  Again.”

“With all due respect expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action.” You say, picking at your nails.

“The way you expressed your opinion to Richard Crabbe? By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, in case you're interested.” She remarqued, mentioning a particularly nasty quidditch fight between (y/n) and that idiot Crabbe.

“I still maintain that his broom malfunctioned and he kicked himself in the balls.” You answer cooly, trying your hardest not to let any emotion seep through your face.

Professor Myriad fumbled. “The point is (y/n)...People perceive you as somewhat …” 

“Tempestuous?”

“"Heinous bitch" is the term used most often.” She states simply.

How flattering, Professor.

“You might want to work on that. Try being more like your sister.” 

You raised your eyebrows at her comment because the woman clearly had no idea what she was getting into.

“Tell me Professor, which sister are we talking about? Bellatrix? Who was married off to some greasy pureblood the day after she graduated. Andromeda? Who followed her heart but was shunned from the family. Or Narcissa? Who at sixteen still, for the love of god, cannot tie her shoelaces.” 

(y/n) rises from her chair and says, in her most sarcastic tone  “As always, thank you for your excellent guidance.” before strolling out of the tiny office.

Lucius and his friends were sprawled in their usual spots under a tree. Someone in the group mumbles “Virgin alert” as Narcissa and Josie walk past. Lucius’s attention is immediately fixed on the innocent looking brunette. The girls notice him and wave shyly.

“Looking good ladies.”

“They’re outta reach, even for you.” Simon Nott  said in a sing-song voice.

“No one’s out of reach for me.” Lucius says, sizing his friend up.

“You wanna put money on that?” Simon questions, leaning back against the tree. Lucius glances at Narcissa who’s laughing with a group of fifth year students,

“Money I’ve got.  This I’m going to do for fun.”

From across the courtyard, Remus, James and Peter observe the way Lucius Malfoy is eyeing Narcissa, like a tiger watching his prey. Remus feels strangely protective of her, wanting to protect her from Lucius’s slimy paws. He gazed at her as she giggled, her dimples showing.

“Mate, look at her.” He said in a voice soft with affection.

James is clearly unimpressed. “Is she always so...vapid?”

“How can you say that?  She’s totally…”

“Conceited?”Peter leered.

“What are you talking about Wormtail?  There’s more to her than you think. I mean, look... look at the way she smiles. And look at her eyes, man.  She’s totally pure.  I mean, you’re missing what’s there.”

“No, Moony.  No. What’s there is a snotty little Princess creating a strategically planned appearance to make guys like us realize we can never touch her, and guys like, uh…” Peter fumbled, looking across the courtyard. “...Lucis, realize they want to. She, my friend, is what we’ll spend the rest of our lives not having. Move on.”

“No.” Remus pouted stubbornly.

“Move on.” James quipped, repeating Peter’s words.

“No! You’re wrong about her.  You’re so wrong.” Remus grumbled back.

“Alright.  I’m wrong?  You wanna take a shot?  Be my guest. She’s actually looking for a Mermish tutor.”

Remus’s eyes light up. “Are you serious?  That’s perfect!”

“Do you even speak Mermish?” James questioned. Remus flashed his bright teeth.

“Well no.  But I will.”

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 1.2}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student (however no underage romance), blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 5.2k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

______________________________

Despite all her efforts to mentally prepare for this, Robin didn't feel the least bit ready to find her essay resting on her desk the next time she stepped into the potions classroom. Chewing nervous on her bottom lip, she placed her leather bag down next to the table in the second row and took a seat reluctantly, almost as if expecting the parchment to jump at her any second now.

Frowning, Robin gave the rolled up thing a lingering look, while the seat next to her was abruptly taken in a haste that seemed rather uncanny for a slow Friday morning. A quick glance out of the corners of her eyes told Robin that her bench neighbor had arrived in the same awkwardly insecure manner as she had the weeks before. For a short moment, Robin wondered if the chubby girl whose name Robin admittedly hadn't managed to make herself ask for yet, was feeling this scared because she had to sit next to someone like her. Robin's frown deepened upon that thought, before she turned her eyes back to the parchment on her desk at last.

Just as she was about to finally give it a look and inspect the damage it had done to her grade, the door flew open with a start and a black river of fabric rushed past her through the aisle between the desks. Robin's heart skipped a beat in surprise, and she cursed herself under her breath for STILL being started by Professor Snape's mode of entrance. He made an entrance like that every week, and every week Robin found herself startled by it yet again. She briefly wondered if he did it on purpose, to mess with the students. To get their attention, perhaps.

"Open your textbooks on page fifty seven." Came the monotonously determined command from the front, interrupting Robin's internal monologue, while every audible chatter around the room had long died out. This was the only class that ever happened in… the students falling silent and paying attention the very moment the professor entered the room. Robin couldn't say that she minded much, she had always rather dreaded the minutes wasted with the teacher trying to get everyone's attention.

With a quiet sigh, Robin took out her textbook, notebooks and the quill Marleen had charmed for her to never run out of ink, and instead placed the bloody essay into her bag, leaving it uninspected for now. She would have to wait until after class to look at her grade, since focusing on anything but potions class in potions class was nigh impossible.

Next to her, the Hufflepuff girl let out a tiny noise of despair, and Robin glanced her way while opening her book on the requested page. For a moment, she silently watched how the girl vainly roamed through her bag with trembling hands, only to sit back up empty handed and with a flustered face.

"We can share my book." Robin heard herself say before she could stop herself. Darn, she really didn't need any more problems, nor to be made fun of… again. But she also couldn't keep her mouth shut. Ever.

The girl's eyebrows shot up in surprise, before she gave Robin a timid but overwhelmingly thankful smile. "That- uh, that's very kind of you." She whispered back, and Robin pushed the book to the middle of the desk silently before turning her head back to her professor at the front.

He was watching them intently, with one eyebrow risen, but with no comment. Robin had to force herself to hold his gaze instead of looking away like her bench neighbor did, and for but a second, Snape's eyebrow lifted just a little bit higher in an expression Robin couldn't put a name to. Then he turned back towards the entire class.

"Today we will be brewing a simple antidote to common poisons. If you did your assigned reading before class, I shouldn't have to say any more." Professor Snape spoke sternly while he sat down behind his desk, letting a piercing glance wander around the room. Seeing as none of the students made a move to react in any way, he added with a scowl, "Instructions are on page fifty seven. Collect your ingredients at the front." With that he averted his eyes from the students and instead focused on the stack of parchment on his desk.So much for the insightful lecture Robin had hoped for.

While most students started shuffling and talking quietly in small groups then, Robin's eyes remained fixed on Professor Snape for a moment of irritation, a deep frown on her face. Usually, Snape would at least give a scolding comment about the previous week's assignment at the beginning of class, saying how yet again they had failed to bring forth even one single 'outstanding', or he'd even make remarks about the sheer inability of his students to be any more than just complete dunderheads. Today however, he seemed quite unwilling to do either. Robin wondered if it had anything to do with last week's essays that he was even more dismissive than usual. Or maybe he was simply having a bad day? Professors surely had bad days as well, everyone did...

"Now, Miss Mitchell." Snape's sternly taunting words were uttered without him even looking up from whatever he was reading, and Robin's eyes snapped away in an instant, followed by the burning embarrassment of getting caught while staring. Even if unintentionally, she HAD, in fact, stared at him for quite some time while so deep in thought. Darn, first the probably failed essay and now this…

To cover up for her lack of confidence, she quickly rose to her feet and set out to collect her ingredients like she had been told to, while trying to shake off any thoughts about her professor. Whatever was up with him today, it wasn't for her to dwell on. She did wonder however if anyone else had noticed this minor change in his demeanor at all, the slightly deeper frown on his face or the even more cutting edge to his tone… But she honestly had no intention to find out. He had a bad day, so what? She did, too.

Thus she focused on the things she knew, and that was following the instructions in the textbook. Obviously she had done her assigned reading beforehand –potions was currently the only subject she actually did her readings for– and thus she was quite certain that she would get this antidote right. With an almost unshakable determination to do her best, she started with step one.

… … …

It was only half an hour later –Robin was currently cutting up dittany into perfect little pieces– that her focus was broken by one of her fellow Slytherin students.

"How's the potion coming along, jay?" Alexander Downing, a particularly dense individual and proud pure blood, sneered at Robin. Oh how much he must love to call her 'jay' at every possible and impossible opportunity… in fact, he had done it so often that some other not-quite favourable Slytherins had started adopting the same moniker for Robin as well. "Doesn't look right, don't you think?... Your 'potion'?" He drawled the word out in an overly mocking tone as he leaned over his third row table to gawk into Robin's cauldron with a disgusted look on his face. "Can't expect much more than failure from a filthy mudblood anyway."

As he leaned back into his own space with a self-satisfied smirk on his face, getting a few appraising laughs from his friends, Robin had to forcefully bite down the white hot rage that poisoned her blood and made it difficult to breathe. She shot Alexander an angry glare and turned back towards her cauldron without a word, but she wasn't done with him by far. No, he had called her jay often enough to forge himself an enemy, but calling her a mudblood was what had sealed his fate just now. Robin would have her revenge… and it surely would send a signal to his friends just the same.

"You're muggle born?" The quiet voice of the Hufflepuff girl next to her suddenly brought Robin's mind back to the classroom.

Her surprise at getting caught while living in her head once more took her ability to react for a moment, but the Hufflepuff didn't seem to mind and simply kept staring at Robin both in surprise and wonder. And since Robin saw no judgement in the girl's eyes whatsoever, only heard the quiet snorting coming from the row of boys behind her, she decided that she would try to make a friend one more time before finally giving up on her classmates once and for all.

"Yeah…" She finally sighed, in resignation almost at her own decision. "Nothing is short of ordinary in my family. The muggle kind of ordinary, I mean."

For but a short moment, the Hufflepuff's eyes lit up in pleasant surprise, then she blushed a deep crimson. "I… I didn't think there were any muggle borns in Slytherin at all."

"There won't be when I'm done with jay!" Alexander roared out rather loudly from behind the girls, laughing along with his friends at his own comment, and he thereby earned himself a dangerous glare from Professor Snape.

Robin for her part merely rolled her eyes at the stupid idiots behind her and ignored them like she usually tried to. Instead she focused back on the Hufflepuff girl by her side. "I wouldn't know if there was another one besides me. But since I'm most definitely in Slytherin and also definitely muggle born, you could say that you thought wrong." That, Robin realized, came out a bit more defensively than she would've liked, but she also couldn't bring herself to take it back. The girl bit her bottom lip and quickly looked back towards her slimy, brown potion that truly looked nothing like it was supposed to. Robin almost felt sorry for her own harshness, as well as the girl's obvious lack of talent for potion making.

"Why, uh, why does everyone call you jay?" The girl finally asked, and Robin was almost glad to find that she hadn't scared her away with her admittedly hostile attitude. She should make an effort be kinder to her bench neighbor, the girl had as of yet been nothing but nice, after all.

"I think they call me jay because my name is Robin." She shrugged. "Robin Mitchell. I guess the bird analogy is just funny to them for some reason."

"Oh… I'm sorry they keep doing that. It can't be nice to be an outsider in your own house." The girl looked truly remorseful as she spoke, while awkwardly stirring her failed potion in an attempt to somehow save it by stirring alone.

"No, it's not."

"If it helps anything, my parents are muggles as well."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… but in my house that's no big deal really. Some idiots make a fuss about it, but it's truly the minority."

"Sounds nice. I'm starting to think I was simply placed in the wrong house." Robin finally admitted a bit jokingly, even though she neither felt confident in her statement nor in her use of humor. She liked Slytherin… she just didn't like the Slytherins she had met as of yet.

"Couldn't agree more!" Alexander added in from behind them.

"Shut up, idiot!" The Hufflepuff snapped at him immediately, and Robin's eyebrows rose in surprise. She surely hadn't seen that coming, especially not after what was being said about Hufflepuffs and their inherently harmonious nature. Another reason to stop listening to the gossip and prejudice between houses, if the rumors about Professor Snape weren't enough indication of that.

"Don't speak to me like that, you worthless daft cow!" Alexander shot right back, and Robin watched how the girl's face fell in immediate shame inflicted by the crude insult. Obviously she wasn't the only one who had fallen victim to his bullying.

"What's your name? I'm sorry I never got around to asking before…" Robin questioned her then, both to actively ignore Alexander and to distract the girl from his vile words.

"Ah, well, I didn't know your name either, so I cannot really blame you for that." She gave Robin a small and crooked smile. "I'm Theresa."

For once, Robin smiled at the girl in return. Theresa… she surely was nice enough for a stranger, and fierce enough for a first year. Robin could actually see herself being friends with her. Maybe, if they got to know each other better from here on. "Nice to finally meet you, Theresa. After sitting next to you for five weeks now."

Upon Robin's words Theresa chuckled in amusement at last, and Robin had to smirk as well, in relief that Alexander's words hadn't caused a lasting damage to her potential friend. A moment passed, and both girls finally focused back on their brewing in comfortable silence. Enough chatter for now… Robin still had a potion to make and a revenge to conduct.

… … …

After the dittany was slowly stirred into the steaming liquid, she continued to hand-pick the valerian sprigs and all the while she debated about how to put Alexander back into his place with the least effort and the most effect. Most things that came to her mind were so incredibly dim witted that they could very well come right from Alexander himself, and Robin dismissed those ideas in the sheer refusal to sink quite as low as him. Only once she added the final ingredient, a chopped bezoar, to her cauldron way ahead of time and even further ahead of everyone else, Robin found herself graced with the sudden memory of something she had read about in Jessica's fourth year potions textbook a few days ago. It surely was nothing short of risky, but both brilliant and stupid enough that she absolutely had to try now that the idea had struck her. Besides, she was good at this, at potions. She knew what she was doing! Nobody bullied Robin without receiving a serious payback. And nobody bullied the people she even remotely cared about without a full blown revenge.

Thus, as soon as she had added the bezoar, she decided that her potion was about as done as it could be. Her ingenious plan however was just beginning. Taking out a piece of parchment, she wrote 'Please play along and it'll be worth it. I'm gonna say something now, and you'll tell me it was part of the assigned reading. I want Alexander to hear it.' and passed the note to Theresa next to her. The girl frowned at Robin for just a moment, making her think that maybe it hadn't been a good idea to include her in the plan after all, but then she subtly nodded with a small smile, and all of Robin's precautions vanished into thin air. Alexander Downing would get what he deserved at last, after being the main cause for five weeks of Robin's continued suffering. Enough was enough.

"Oh no, I believe I've made a mistake!" Robin sighed dramatically, quietly enough that only Alexander and his idiot friends would hear. No need to alert any other students of the ongoings between them now. "I totally mixed the ingredients up! But this is just such a difficult subject, how was I supposed to know that we should add aconite instead of a bezoar?!"

"Well, it was mentioned in the reading we had to do for today that bezoars are almost as outdated as our textbooks themselves!" Theresa lied so easily that Robin was actually impressed with her. "Maybe you should've read it before coming to class."

"Yeah… I really should have. Now I'll certainly be in a lot of trouble." She was quick to reply, adding just a hint of feigned despair to her tone.

"Serves you right..." Alexander snorted, before grinning triumphantly. "Obviously we have to exchange the bezoar for… the other thing. It's common knowledge among REAL wizards that bezoars are outdated… but how would you know about that, right?" He scoffed arrogantly, and not quite so subtly went to retrieve the aconite instead of the usual bezoar.

Robin turned back to her own cauldron with an exaggerated eye rolling, and only in the safety of her own space allowed herself to grin in utter mischief. She had only guessed that Alexander hadn't done his reading, but it had been a more or less educated guess based upon the information gathered in the previous five weeks, and thank goodness had she been correct. Bezoars being outdated? Only someone who had paid absolutely zero attention to anything Professor Snape had explained would've bought that nonsense. And Alexander luckily was such a someone. A prime example of a dumbass, even. Well, and Robin had a brain, but Alexander's lack thereof was nothing she should take pride in.

While Alexander indeed passed on the news of the supposedly outdated instructions to his friends, Robin smiled reassuringly at a nervous looking Theresa for a moment, and then turned towards her cauldron once more. The antidote really had turned out quite as perfect as she had expected, especially considering that her mind had definitely been elsewhere today. Hopefully Professor Snape would be just as content with her work as she was… maybe he would even forget about her flunked essay and her short moment of stepping out of line in the beginning of class.

Only then it crossed Robin's mind that the little inside joke she had just had with herself in the form of her revenge on Alexander might actually be interpreted as stepping out of line, and most definitely would be in this context! Her heart skipped a beat at the realization, and she could already feel her hands getting clammy. Oh no… no no no. She had made such an effort up to this point to make a good impression on her professor, to do well in this class and get good grades, and now it would all be ruined by her own blind seek for vengeance. Gods, she was an idiot! So much for trying to be mature about her emotional impulses… Obviously she didn't regret doing it either, Alexander really had it coming after all, but she definitely regretted doing it here. Right in front of Professor Snape's eyes. Not a smart move, Robin…

While she anxiously awaited the end of class, when he would make his way through the rows of students to carefully inspect the outcomes of today's brewing session, she couldn't quite keep the worried frown off her face. How did other kids do it? Acting up, getting into trouble, pulling pranks even on their professors? Robin didn't have the slightest idea; this was the first time she had ever done anything so stupid and she already was determined that the momentary satisfaction she'd gotten out of it wasn't worth the anxiety of possibly getting caught. Maybe she just would have to grow a thicker skin against the bullying indeed. It's what her father already had so coldly told her to do in elementary school, when she had come home crying because the other kids had laughed at her for being… well, her.

But that was years ago. In Robin's mind, she was a different person now. No more crying, or rather no more letting others see her cry, and no more blindly trusting other people. All that, she had left behind even before she had stepped onto the train to Hogwarts. Now all she had was herself and her smarts, and she was determined that she wouldn't need anything else to succeed around here.

Her mental pep talk came to a sudden halt when the room around her fell oddly silent at once, leaving only the quiet bubbling of the potions to be heard. Robin looked up from her book that she had been staring at without actually taking the words in, only to see that her professor had gotten up from his desk and was now indeed making his way along the many rows of desks. How he moved absolutely soundlessly was a riddle to her, but she made a mental note to keep that talent of his in mind. Who knows, one day it might save her from being startled by him suddenly appearing behind her back.

For a few minutes, Robin subtly watched (and also eavesdropped) on Professor Snape giving various students his feedback, or rather a good scolding. Not one positive word left the man's lips, and not one student got spared his commentary. Seeing as it was only three more students before he would come peering into her own cauldron now, Robin nervously rearranged her notebooks into a perfect stack, placed her quill in a straight parallel line next to them, and quickly cleared her table of every and any leftover supplies and utensils before giving the desk a final (rather improvised) swipe with the sleeve of her robe. Maybe she should look up a spell for swipe-cleaning one of these days…

Then Professor Snape stepped around to Theresa's side of the desk, and Robin could already hear very little but the beating of her own heart at that point.

"Forgetting our textbook and then having the audacity to mess up now, did we?" He commented in a threatening nonchalance, as his gaze lifted from Theresa's admittedly failed attempt at the antidote to her poor, blushing face.

"I-I really tried to, uh, to get it right…" She stuttered, averting her eyes from her professor's. In the dim light of the torches and candles alone, they almost looked entirely black as they gazed down at Theresa without any visible emotion while he waited for her to speak on. "Maybe I didn't measure the ingredients carefully enough… I think…"

"Obviously you didn't…" He simply voiced, with the same indifferent and slightly condescending expression he always wore.

"Measure correctly?" Theresa inquired insecurely, and Robin bit her bottom lip in nervousness.

"Think." Was his only reply for a moment, but after a moment he gave Theresa a stern look and added, "Maybe less talking and more focus would be advisable next time, Miss Franklin. Consider the measurements a suggestion, not a fixed mark. Reevaluate based upon the reality in front of you."

"Yes, sir…"

Robin's eyes stayed fixed on her professor as he took the two steps to stand right in front of her desk now, looking at the clean tabletop (the only one in the room), then at her with an eyebrow risen in that particular manner yet again, and finally down at the antidote simmering in her cauldron. She held her breath as his brows furrowed for a short moment, then his face went right back into its stoic solemnity. With his head still turned down towards her potion, his eyes shot up to hers for no more than three long seconds, before he straightened up even taller than he had been standing before and walked on to the next student without a single word.

Robin let out a shivery breath in utter confusion. If she was being honest with herself, she hadn't really expected any praise coming from him. He never praised anyone, she'd already discovered that much. But at least a little acknowledgement, was that too much to ask for? Or at least a comment on what to improve? How was she supposed to learn like that?! A quiet huff of frustration pressed past her lips… was this a 'say nothing if you've got nothing nice to say' kind of thing? Hell no… he was brutal in his comments, he surely wouldn't just keep his scolding words to himself now. Then what was it? Had she disappointed him beyond words? Didn't he deem her worthy of feedback? Because she was a-... No. She had to stop thinking in Alexander's terms. And her wish for a change of topic was granted, even if more than likely to her disadvantage rather than her saving.

"Mister Downing… Care to explain?" Professor Snape hissed at Alexander, and all color drained from Robin's face as she slowly turned in her seat to witness the disaster unfold. The impending doom she had brought upon herself as much as upon him.

"But sir, I didn't do anything wrong!" Alexander defended himself, and a few indignant snorts were heard from the back of the room. Snape ignored them.

"You clearly have no idea what situation you find yourself in, Mister Downing. Obviously it has escaped your notice that you were supposed to brew an antidote? Or haven't you learned to read prior to your arrival at Hogwarts?"

"No, sir! I followed all the instructions, and I did the reading on the outdatedness of bezoars, and…"

"Pray tell, do you have an urgent desire for detention or are you truly this dense?"

Now Robin finally couldn't suppress her own snort anymore, and she found herself forgiving Professor Snape for not giving her a proper feedback. Him mocking Alexander right now more than made up for it. Unfortunately, that was when Alexander caught on to her scheming as well, and his face turned beet red.

"SHE!" He yelled out, and Robin's smirk dropped immediately as he almost stabbed a stubby finger into her face. "That filthy mudblood told me that we were to exchange the bezoar for anco… acro…"

"Aconite..." Robin groaned out under her breath, in utter annoyance and with a roll of her eyes, before she could remind herself to keep her stupid mouth shut. Bloody hell… that was as good a confession as she could've given. Well done, stupid.

Professor Snape's menacing eyes were on her in an instant, and Robin winced, then shuddered. Oh no… For a second he stared at her like he wanted to suck her soul out with his eyes alone, but then (to everyone's surprise) he turned back to Alexander.

"As it appears to me, Mister Downing, that despite this tragic joke made at your expense, you have failed to do your assigned reading prior to today's class. Also it would seem like you have made an enormous effort to keep everything I have been explaining to you dunderheads over the course of term from getting into the way of your astonishing ignorance." Professor Snape's voice was neutral, collected, yet sharp and dark as it got… but none of that could cover up the ever present sense of danger radiating off him in palpable waves. "I expect a ten page essay on bezoars and their many uses in potion making on my desk by Monday night." With that, he turned away from Alexander and scolded the next student for their poor attempt at the antidote, leaving Alexander to angrily pout to himself.

Robin for her part couldn't believe that professor Snape still had not wasted a single comment on her, nor that he had simply disregarded Alexander's constant bullying of other students. Didn't that matter at all? Or was it some bullshit pure blood privilege? Her heart was again beating furiously, almost jumping out of her chest at this pace, while her thoughts seemed to spin in circles. All things considered, she should feel lucky. She had stupidly enough admitted to doing what she'd been accused of, but there had been no consequences whatsoever. At least not for her. Alexander however…

"See, not even Snape denies that you're a filthy mudblood…" He muttered from behind her, in unmistakable hatred. "One of these days I'll kill you, jay, and he will even give me bloody house points for it."

"I'd like to see you try." Robin spat back, at last engaging in the pettiness of a vocal argument. But her capacity for taking bullshit surely was used up for today, as was her patience. "You, the great pure blood wizard who doesn't even know a single thing about bloody bezoars! Or about potions for that matter…"

"Oh, and YOU know all about potions, huh?" He sneered. "Don't be so bloody pretentious, you're nothing, and I'll make sure that everyone knows that."

Before Robin could say any more to defend herself or her wounded pride, Professor Snape made his way back to the front of the classroom to make some final announcements before the end of class, robes billowing behind him theatrically as ever. With an annoyed sigh and a rapidly forming headache, Robin noted down her assignments in a notebook that had served her as a commonplace journal ever since the first week, before stowing away her supplies in her bag as soon as the class was dismissed.

However once she rose to her feet to head out, the unmistakable deep voice of her professor cut right through the bristling noise of the other students. "Where do you think you are going, Miss Mitchell?"

"...Sir?"

"My office, now." With this statement that desperately screamed 'punishment', he turned on his heels, and with strides that were so long that Robin wouldn't have been able to keep up even if she'd tried, he disappeared through a door at the very back of the room.

"Serves you right…" Alexander spoke up yet again, with another nasty grin. "I hope he kicks you out. And even if he doesn't, being alone in a room with Snape is definitely worse than writing a stupid ten page essay…"

"Oh shut up, will you? At least come up with some good insults before you open your mouth." Robin growled back with a feigned angry frown, while still she nervously picked at the hem of her sleeves behind her back. A moment later Alexander made his way out of the classroom with his friends, muttering under his breath how much he hoped that Snape would just turn Robin into a heap of vermin, and for some reason she didn't rule that out of the wide range of possibilities for what was to happen to her soon. Once more her nerves got the better of her, and she bit her bottom lip as she frowned at the door in the front of the room. Before today, she hadn't taken notice of anyone being called into her professor's office, and that realization deeply concerned her. Could she truly be expelled for this one stupid practical joke?!

"I'm sure he won't be all too harsh on you…" Theresa finally spoke up in a quiet voice that proved just how uncertain she was about her own statement. "And even if he is, just remember that… that… he's just…"

"Thanks for trying." Robin gave her a forced half smile. "I won't drag you into this, don't worry. As far as anyone knows, you never helped me do this."

"I wasn't concerned about that." She replied sympathetically and shouldered her backpack. "I just wanted to wish you look. I'll see you in transfiguration on Monday, yes?"

"Yeah…" Robin replied quietly, all the while not taking her eyes off the door to his office that he'd left ajar. "Have a-... uh, a nice weekend."

With a small nod Theresa left, and the very last students filed out soon after her, which left Robin standing alone in the middle of the silent classroom. And for the second time she asked herself: what had she done?!

______________________________

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[just-dreaming-about]

So here we go again. Now I have a Fred Weasley fanfic that I hope you like. Enjoy!

HILARIOUS SITUATION

Annia Heart, sixth-year Ravenclaw, was quite a popular girl among the Hogwarts eagles not for her high marks as one would expect from a Ravenclaw, nor for her dueling skills, nor was she the most charming of her course or the one who will attract attention in general. She was simply quite popular because she always helped others with a smile on her face. Many of her house thought that she should have been chosen Hufflepuff. If the freshmen needed help with their homework, Annia Heart was their girl, if the girls in her class needed help with their hair or dressing for an important event, Annia Heart was their girl, if those in the debate team or those in the Flitwick choir needed help to regain their voices, Annia Heart was their girl. She was incapable of not succoring those around her and thanks to that she had earned a place in the hearts of all Ravenclaws.

On that particular day, she had been helping a third-grade girl with her rehearsal for the potions class, and as soon as they were done, the girl headed for the infirmary wing. It wasn't uncommon to find Annia there, helping Madam Pomfrey with the sicks or with the paperwork from the infirmary, in fact her passion was the healing arts. In potions class she always received the best marks when making healing remedies and in DADA she was the first to learn healing spells. That is why Madam Pomfrey held her in high esteem and always let her walk around the infirmary. Professor Flitwick approved and encouraged her to continue it, it was more than clear that Annia was going to be a healer in the future.

When she got there, the infirmary was found empty. This partly made her happy, no one had been hurt today or was having a bad time with a bad cold. It was a good day for Hogwarts. Madam Pomfrey left her with some notes on bone-growing tonic for her personal study and left the infirmary to speak to Professor Dumbledore about the products that were running out in the infirmary and that needed urgent replacement.

Silence wasn't something that Annia particularly liked, especially when she was alone, she studied talking to her classmates or read in the common room to feel accompanied by her mates. So the silence of the infirmary was weighing her down and she was saved when a loud bang opened the doors wide with several boys entering at once. She recognized them all clearly, they were practically the stars of the school, but that didn't stop her from being surprised by the situation itself. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Lee Jordan were trying to separate two tall men with gray hair and long white beards. The latter two insulting each other and did their best to punch the other.

-Madam Pomfrey, help! -yelled Lee Jordan over the scream from both men.

Annia found herself not knowing what to do exactly, so she did the first thing she can thinks. She got out of bed where she had sat down to study and walked towards them with a firm step.

-Madam Pomfrey is out, just me. Can I help you?

-You are Annia, right? -Harry Potter asked now- Do you help Madam Pomfrey?

-Annia Heart helps everyone, Potter -Lee Jordan replied as if the boy had lost his mind- Listen, Annia. These are Fred and George, can you fix them?

Annia had to look twice at the bearded men in front of her.

-Fred and George? Weasley?

-No, Fred and George Malfoy. Who else? -Ron mutteres, impatient for the situation.

-If you're going to talk to me in that tone, I'm not going to help you -replied Annia angrily, crossing her arms.

At this Fred and George turned as white as their hair and beards, hit their younger brother and approached the Ravenclaw with pleading eyes.

-Please, Annia. You have to fix this -pleaded the one on the left.

-You are our only hope -said the one on the right.

Under the twins' watchful eyes, plus their three companions, Annia blushed. She may have been popular with the Ravenclaws, but she wasn't used to receiving so much attention outside of her home. She put a lock of her brunnete hair behind her ear and cleared her throat to compose herself. To the joy of the men, the green-eyed girl accepted and both patients were placed in the beds that the girl told them. The twins, each sitting on their respective beds, watched the girl come and go from one shelf to another, looking for a book to help her with the problem they were having. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Lee Jordan left the infirmary by order of the Ravenclaw since she knew perfectly well that Madam Pomfrey wouldn't like to see so many people in her infirmary, especially if there were patients to treat. With three books under her arm, the girl sat in a chair between the twins' beds and thus remained silent as the redheads, now whiteheads, began to argue again. First in a low voice so not to bother the girl so much but as their discussion grew they became more angry increasing the tone of the discussion. Annia held on until she couldn't take it anymore and then she snapped her book shut, got up and started scolding the two boys

-Alright, this whole discussion is over! I don't care who the idea of ​​putting your names in the cauldron was or who started looking for a potion to get older. I don't care who ate your mother's cookies! -to this last accusation both twins blushed- In case you haven't noticed, I am trying to help you return to normal, I am not a certified healer, I have no experience but I am still trying. The least you could do is appreciate it and wait for me to find something in these books before Madam Pomfrey comes so you can leave earlier or wait for her to come back even if you miss dinner.

Finished his speech she took a deep breath and sat down again with the open book where she had stayed. The silence that enveloped the three of them was somewhat uncomfortable for Annia, she wasn't used to Fred and George Weasley being silent, she shared potions, DADA and transfiguration with them and they were always talking, laughing or at least whispering among themselves. But she knew that only one of the twins listened to her when she asked for silence or scolded them for disturbing the youngest eagles in her house, proof of this is that only one Weasley had chosen to lie quietly on his bed and started whistling a little song to himself while the other remained silent sitting in his bed. Looking at her.

-So... -Fred began, wondering if he was allowed to speak now.

-What do you want Weasley? -she hurried without looking up from the book, to which she turned the page to continue looking for the cure they needed. Madam Pomfrey had to put her notes in order since all the pages had annotations with a letter so characteristic that it was difficult to read.

-Do you come often here?

George Weasley on the other side started laughing so hard that Annia herself smiled at Fred's increasingly red face.

-You seem a little older to try flirting with young ladies, don't you think, Mr. Weasley? -she scoffed, raising an eyebrow as she turned another page of the book.

George's laughter grew louder, Annia didn't check but suspected that he was getting to the point of crying since Fred was telling his brother to stop. Far from being defeated, the young eagle felt the gaze of the lion once again resting on herself. His voice didn't sound nervous, just teasing and funny.

-Are you making fun of me, Miss Heart?

-If you don't mind, Mr. Weasley, I'm looking for a cure for your... -She looked up to see his wrinkled face, beard, and full hair again, giggling- condition.

-I propose a deal, Miss Heart. If you find the cure, you owe me a date.

Fred's confidence wasn't threatened by the continuous laughters of his twin and the skeptical look of the girl who refocused on the book without losing her smile. Perhaps it was precisely the girl's smile that made Fred's confidence rise.

-And what would I win in this deal, Mr. Weasley?

-Now you are making fun of me, Miss Heart -the white-haired man put a hand to his chest and made a gesture of pain- How can they say that you are the guardian angel of Ravenclaw and then act like this with your companions?

Annia rolled her eyes again without losing her smile.

-No one calls me that, Weasley.

-But they think about it. Annia Heart, the girl you need by your side if you have any problems. How does the girl who solves everything had end up punished in the infirmary?

-I'm not punished, Weasley. Madam Pomfrey it's tutoring me for my healer exams when I finish my seventh year.

-So you're taking more exams after the finals exams? -the surprise in Fred's words were more than evident- You sure have a Ravenclaw's brain.

-You're impossible, Weasley.

-Thanks you.

-I'm not sure it was a compliment, bro -comment George teasing him.

The silent were present again but wasn't uncomfortable this time. Annia heard the twins arguing in a quiet voice this time as she turned a page of the book.

-So you want to be a healer, Miss Heart -Fred Weasley speak again, a new smile in the face.

-Yes, Weasley -she replied absentmindedly reading the pages of the book.

-That's why you're the big sister for Ravenclaw?

Annia left the book and look up to catch Fred's staring at her.

-You really don't know how lucky you're, Weasley -she saw how these words caught the boy by surprise- When you came to Hogwarts there were your big brothers waiting for you. We can't all say that. I'm like a big sister for Ravenclaw because I care for those who doesn't have one here to make all funny in our firsts days. I don't know how it's at Gryffindor's tower but at Ravenclaw's we heard the kids crying for their parents at the beginning of the course. They felt abandoned and have to wake up in a stranger place and sleep with strangers and have to deal with the fact that this is what awaits them for seven years.

-That's how you felt in your first year? -Fred whisper almost as if he didn't want his brother to hear them but he could hear them.

When Fred's gaze was too much for her she got up from where she was sitting, put the books in her place, and headed for the doors of the infirmary. That was when Fred's confidence dropped dramatically.

-Annia! Where are you going?

-Madam Pomfrey will be here soon, she sure knows how to help you more efficiently than I do -was all she said before closing the great doors.

She needed air and ran to where her legs wanted to take her without thinking where she was going. She ended up in a lonely hallway where she sat down and put her hands to her chest trying to control her heartbeat and the tears that threatened to fall. She felt like that fragile first-year girl again, taking refuge in the blankets of her bedroom, with both hands on her mouth trying not to make noise while crying so as not to wake her companions. That same night she decided that she would never feel like this again and from her second day at Hogwarts she began her transformation to the Annia Heart that she was now.

-Annia? You're alright?

A familiar voice peeked out of one of the doors in the middle of the hall. Looking closer, it was the library door and the one who ran to her was a girl with gray stormy and worried eyes, blonde hair that reached her shoulders and decided step, the Ravenclaw shield shining on her cloak. Eleanor Robins had been her best friend since her first year at Hogwarts and there was nothing in the world that one didn't do for the other. The brunette looked at her friend with pleading eyes and the blonde didn't hesitate to hug her tightly and whisper to calm her down. She helped her resume a normal breathing rhythm and waited patiently for her friend to be ready to speak.

-Just give me a name and a house and I'm going to put a black eye on whoever has messed with you -said the blonde without releasing her from her embrace.

-No one has messed with me, Ellie -whispered Annia, still hiding in her friend's arms- We were just talking. He asked me a question and I ...

-I don't mind hitting a boy if necessary -Eleanor cut her off with the look in her eyes from someone who has decided how to kill her enemy.

-Listen to me, Ellie -the brunette finally came out of her friend's arms and looked her in the eyes- We were just chatting and things became to turn intenses and I freak out. Just that. He really didn't anything to me.

-Well, it must have been an intense conversation to have you like this. I haven't seen you in this state since our second year.

Silence fell between the two at the memory. Eleanor had become Annia's best friend after her first year after the brunette found her crying at a photo of her little brother who was moving around showing his first steps as his parents held him and smiled fondly at her. Annia had helped her then. Later in the first week of her second year at Hogwarts, Eleanor found Annia in a state just like she was in the present and it was time for the blonde to help her best friend. In the present, the blonde's hand circled the brunette's back, patiently waiting for her to speak. As this didn't come, the blonde decided to get up and lend a hand to the brunette to help her up.

-I don't know about you, but it is book club Saturday in the Ravenclaw's tower and it is my turn to read. I'm sure you don't want to miss it.

The book club had been started by Annia and Eleanor in their third year, first to distract the little ones during the first days of the course and to help muggle-borns become familiar with the magical world by reading Babbitty Rabbitty or The Tales of Beadle the Bard and then to give students confidence to read in public in class. Over time, it had become the Ravenclaw Tower's favorite activity, even Professor Flitwick had been encouraged to read to the boys on more than one occasion or tell them stories about the First Magical War. Annia definitely didn't want to miss book club Saturday.

-And if you behave well, I'll let you sit next to me while I read.

At this the brunette could only laugh. Since the book club started, Annia and Eleanor had been sitting apart when it was time for one of them to read because the presence of the other was distracting and they laughed alone while reading.

The rest of the afternoon was calm, with a blanket over the legs of the friends and Eleanor's voice lulling everyone who heard her read. Even Professor Flitwick showed up to hear.

When it was dinner time, the friends walked with the members of their house to the Great Hall with their arms intertwined and still laughing at Professor Flitwick's anecdote of his early years teaching at Hogwarts and his encounters with the teacher. McGonagall. Then someone called Annia and both friends turned. At the end of the corridor a recovered red-haired Weasley ran towards them with a nervous smile on his face. The brunette looked at her friend and she understood continuing her way to the Great Hall alone while Annia waited until Fred was at her side to continue her way to the Great Hall with him.

-I see you've regained your normal appearance, Weasley -she said too formally.

-Yes Yes. Madam Pomfrey arrived shortly after you left.

-That's good.

An awkard aura was surrounding them while they walk in silence. Then Fred put his right hand around his neck in a nervous gesture.

-I'm sorry about what happened in the infirmary, I didn't want to bother you.

-It's already forgotten -she hastened to confirm with a calm smile.

-That's good.

Silence fell between them again as they reached the open doors of the Great Hall. Almost all of Hogwarts had already taken their place to dine but they remained watching nervously. Then Fred summoned up his courage and said:

-You owe me an date, Miss Heart.

Surprise reflected on Annia's face and her cheeks took on a new shade of red for the redhead's enjoyment. He pulled herself together as she could, crossing his arms to gain confidence.

-And how is that Mr. Weasley? Your agreement was that I would go out with you if I found the cure. Which did not happen.

-Mistake, Miss Heart -Fred said cheerfully taking Annia by the arm to spin her around and dodge some Hufflepuff students entering the Great Hall- The page of the book you were reading was the potion we needed. Madam Pomfrey was relieved to see that you had done half the work for her and hastened to prepare the cure for us. Looks like someone is a good healer.

Annia's cheeks didn't lose their color, perhaps turning even redder at those words.

-You're impossible, Weasley.

-Thanks.

The redhead's smile grew more and more confident as the brunette in front of him became a bundle of nerves and embarrassment.

-The next exit to Hogsmeade. You and me, Heart, don't forget it. I will pick you up on the stairs of the Ravenclaw tower.

Annia found herself speechless and could do no more than nod. Fred laughed delightedly and leaned down enough to kiss her cheek without being embarrassed by whoever was watching.

-I'm looking forward to hearing more about those exams you're obsessed with.

With a wink, he left the girl melting into place to sit with her twin. Annia smiled nervously as she took a seat at her own table with her friend looking at her meaningfully. Annia and Fred's eyes met several times during that dinner.

[slickedbackplatinum]

Little League

Summary: Hadlee Rosier and Draco Malfoy had grown up together. Draco was Hadlee’s best friend, partner in crime, and most importantly her first crush. Things changed quickly when the two headed to Hogwarts together for their first year. Since then they had taken their own paths and Hadlee’s feelings for the blonde boy faded, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t still love her. They could never be together now that Draco had made his decision though. 

Based on Little League by Conan Gray

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Do you remember days on our old block?

Messing with our neighbors, who called the cops

Coulda swore that you and me

Could get away with anything

Draco saw her walk into Potions and felt his heart skip a beat. He was used to this. Every time he caught a glimpse of her in the halls or walked through the common room and saw her sitting by the fire his heart would jump slightly, his pulse quickening. It had been like this since he could remember. Even when they were seven, flying their first brooms through their neighborhood together, he’d loved her. Those were some of his best memories. He and Hadlee had grown up down the street from each other and spent every second of their childhood together. She’d been his best friend. 

Things had changed since their arrival at Hogwarts for their first year though. Draco had chosen the path laid out for him by his father. He was known as the Slytherin Prince, been named Prefect last year in their fifth year, and had now committed himself fully to the Dark Lord, the proof burned into his left forearm. Hadlee was a model student. She spent much of her free time reading Potions textbooks in the library or, of course, practicing Quidditch. All their practicing as kids had landed both Hadlee and Draco starting spots on the Slytherin team in their second year. Hadlee was the best Chaser on the team from the start and her moves were unmatched by anyone at Hogwarts. Even if they hadn’t spoken much since their first year, Hadlee knew she was going to miss her favorite Seeker dearly this season. Draco had decided he didn’t have time for Quidditch and, with little to no explanation, had quit at the start of term this year.

Their lack of contact hadn’t changed the fact that Draco couldn’t take his eyes off her when she was in the same room as him. She radiated a confidence she hadn’t had until a few years prior. And, although he wasn’t sure where it had come from, he thought it suited her very nicely. He’d been silently watching over her since they started school, but she’d never seemed to need him. Maybe that was part of their drifting apart: She didn’t need him. 

We’d lay on the grass, all day talking

Cause we snuck out of class when no one was watching

I remember you and me

Yeah, I remember everything

Draco sat through Potions continuing to reminisce. He remembered a particularly great memory with Hadlee. It was during their first month of lessons in first year. A beautiful autumn day couldn’t go to waste sitting in a boring class like Care of Magical Creatures, so when the professor wasn’t looking Draco pulled Hadlee away and around a corner of the castle. 

“What are you doing? We have class,” she’d said and crossed her arms when she saw the excitement in his face at not learning about unicorns anymore.

“Had, come on! It’s the most beautiful day out. Plus, you already know everything there is to learn about unicorns. Please!” he begged when she didn’t move. 

After much effort on his part, Hadlee agreed to head down to the Quidditch pitch with their brooms instead of finish class. They spent the whole afternoon speeding across the pitch, throwing a ball into one of the goals while the other tried their best to guard it. And when they finally got tired, they laid together in the middle of the field pointing at pictures they found in the clouds. It seemed like only yesterday to Draco as he thought about it. A deep sadness crept across his chest as he looked up to see the back of her head. Did she remember that day too? Draco found himself wondering many things about the beautiful girl he used to know. Was her favorite color still forest green? Or did she hate it now because it was everywhere in the Slytherin common room? Did she still like the grass flavored Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans as much as she had when they were nine? Was she still a fan of the Tornados Quidditch team? But mostly, he just wanted to know if she thought about him as often as he thought about her. 

But, lately I’ve been feeling strange

And everybody’s telling me to act my age

I never thought that everything I had would fade away

As the building pressure of the task the Dark Lord assigned became more difficult to handle, Draco found himself daydreaming more and more about going back to his days with Hadlee. Back when there was nothing more to worry about than what Mother was making for dinner that night or whether or not Hadlee would want to play another game of Wizard’s Chess. But as much as he wished he could go back and live in that time again, Draco couldn’t ignore the importance of what he’d been asked to do. Being a Death Eater was something he’d always known was in his future and Lucius had expected Voldemort to give Draco the most important mission once he’d been sworn in. Draco couldn’t disappoint his father. Or the Dark Lord. The consequences for not fulfilling his duty would be detrimental to his future. It was too important.

Draco supposed his obvious affiliation with Voldemort had been part of why Hadlee didn’t speak to him very often anymore. And his open discussions of the Dark Arts throughout their time at Hogwarts had turned her away from him earlier. While a part of him wished this wasn’t his destiny, because maybe then she’d still be his friend, he knew he’d never had a choice in the matter. He did what was expected of him, even when he knew it meant losing her. So, since his first day at Hogwarts he’d been as cruel and arrogant as any Malfoy man would be. He’d never faltered, never shown any sign that he was anything other than the true Prince of Slytherin. 

When we were younger

We didn’t know how it would be

We were the dumb, the wild, the free

Little League

Hadlee spent her days focused on school and Quidditch. She was determined to learn as much as she could for her N.E.W.T.s this year. If she could do that and bring the Quidditch Cup back to Slytherin this year, she’d be on top of the world come June. So, her time was spent mostly in the library writing Potions essays or reading up on the most difficult spells for Transfiguration. By the time dinner rolled around, she was exhausted. Many nights she fell asleep in the chair by the fire with a book open on her lap. She’d never meant to let school take up all her time like this. Sometimes she wondered if she’d lost her fun side, seeing as all she did was study and play Quidditch nowadays. She was constantly reminding herself that it would all be worth it once school was over. She’d be playing professional Quidditch or working for the Ministry in no time. Everything would be better in a few short years, all it would take is hard work on her part.

Many of her friends worried about Hadlee being such a workaholic, but she reminded them that they too should care about the material they were learning right now. She wondered when she’d become so much like her mother. Wouldn’t things be simpler if they could all go back to how it used to be? She hadn’t spent much time thinking about her childhood, but with the workload of sixth year being drastically harder than fifth, she found herself dreaming of her childhood more and more often. Draco was always there with his broom, daring her to race him down the street or beating her once again at Wizard’s Chess. But, when she woke up she’d have to remember that the Draco she used to know didn’t exist anymore. He’d been absorbed into the Slytherin culture quickly after arriving at Hogwarts and Hadlee was forced to watch her best friend disappear into the shell of a Death Eater he was today. It made her quite sad, knowing he hadn’t chosen this for himself. Although they’d both been raised in pureblood families, their childhoods were drastically different. Draco was expected to follow in his father’s footsteps from the day he was born. Hadlee hadn’t been encouraged to pursue the Dark Arts. Her parents were indifferent to the matter, so they hadn’t minded their daughter being best friends with Draco Malfoy. 

And when we were younger

We wore our hearts out on our sleeves

Why did we ever have to leave?

Little League

These frequent dreams of her childhood also brought memories of her former crush on Draco Malfoy. She remembered hearing him shout at her to hurry up from the driveway, but she always made sure she looked her best before going to greet him for their afternoon adventure for that day. She’d dress in cute clothes, not bothering to change if they were doing something that could get them dirty. Hadlee’s mother would scold her for coming home with large grass stains on her shirts, even when she could erase it with a flick of her wand. Her efforts to get Draco’s attention seldom worked though. He seemed more occupied by beating her at whatever they were doing, or laughing at his own jokes. But Hadlee couldn’t help but find it charming. Plus, she’d lost many broom races because she’d been distracted by his hair catching in the sunlight. And when he’d turn around to gloat, his full smile made her heart stop. 

She wished she could make these dreams stop. As wonderful as it was for her to see her old best friend the way she used to, it was a painful reality check to walk into her class the next morning and see the broken man he’d become. She was sure he was a Death Eater by now. He’d looked more and more drained as the weeks passed, and she wondered what was hurting him so badly. Although she felt nothing more than pity and the occasional regret when it came to Draco, she couldn’t help but want his obvious pain to lessen. And maybe the small part of her that longed to be nine again also still loved him, but a quick reminder of his choices and she felt nothing for the man again. 

Could I get a rewind?

Get another chance, take it back in time

Cause I don’t know what to do

With everything that I’m going through

Draco walked into the Slytherin common room after his nightly prefect rounds and noticed Hadlee had fallen asleep again in her usual chair by the fire. He smiled to himself as he admired her calmed sleeping face. There were faint lines on her nose from wrinkling it while reading all day. He immediately noticed the fire wasn’t burning as brightly as it normally did, so he decided to slip a blanket over her. He wasn’t sure how late she usually slept out in the common room, but he didn’t want the fire to die and leave her cold. He grabbed a woolen blanket from the nearby basket and laid it gently over her, but as it hit her legs she started to stir and opened her eyes slightly.

“Draco?”

He stood up quickly. “Sorry. I was just, uh, making sure you didn’t get cold. The fire is dying.”

She sat up and smiled genuinely at him. “Thank you. I was actually meaning to say something to you. Do you remember the name of our old neighbor? The one with the loud screeching owl.”

He knew exactly what she was talking about. Mrs. Boggs’ owl kept both of them up every night one summer because it didn’t like their new cat. He laughed, remembering both of them often being too tired for their usual shenanigans that year.

“Mrs. Boggs, I believe.”

“Oh, yes! My mother was wondering. She heard she was admitted to St.Mungo’s. Apparently she isn’t in good health and may not make it through the winter.”

This saddened Draco deeply. His family wasn’t very close with their neighbors, but Hadlee’s family had been kind to everyone on the street when they’d lived there. “I’ll have to owl my mother and let her know. Maybe she’ll want to go see her over holiday. She’s always been very kind to me.”

“She always baked cookies for us, remember? She’d leave them out on the sidewalk with little enchanted notes! They were the coolest,” Hadlee continued to smile at him. He felt the familiar pang in his chest at her words. She did remember their memories together.

“They were delicious. She stopped leaving them a few years after you moved. Guess she knew I wouldn’t be out much in the summers anymore.”

Now it was Hadlee’s turn to feel sad. Their neighborhood had always been filled with the sounds of their laughter. She guessed there wasn’t much of that anymore. And, in a sudden burst of longing for the man in front of her, she admitted, “I miss that place a lot. And you.”

“Me too. That first summer without you was strange.”

Not sure what to say next, the pair sat in silence in the Slytherin common room for what felt like an eternity to Draco. For the first time in a long time, he felt comfortable. Just her presence seemed to calm him. He wasn’t thinking about his dreaded assignment, or schoolwork, or anything but his favorite memories of her. Then he had an idea.

“Hey, would you want to go see Mrs. Boggs together over holiday? I can owl you and meet you at St. Mungo’s if you’d like.”

“I’d love to, Dray.”

His heart swelled at his forgotten nickname. No one had called him that but her, and he felt the urge to spill everything to her like he had when he was a kid. “First week work for you? I’ll be free all of holiday, so whenever works best for you.”

“That sounds perfect.”

And where did all my friends go?

Standing on our street but nobody’s home

Swore we’d never move away

But now I’m going ninety-five on the interstate

Their plans for holiday kept Draco going through the last few weeks of Fall term. He’d hoped their conversation had opened the possibility of friendship again, but knew better when she didn’t make eye contact with him at breakfast or in class the next day. This didn’t bother him much and considering his reputation, he knew he should just be happy with the single conversation. By the time holiday rolled around, they hadn’t discussed their plans again, but Draco figured he’d just send her an owl like they’d planned.

He met his mother at the platform with a worn smile. He knew holiday wouldn’t be filled with the typical gifts and family laughter. His father would want to know how the assignment was coming along, and, if he was really unlucky, Voldemort would want to meet with him to discuss the finalities. He and his mother apparated from the station to the street in front of their house once he’d collected all his things off the train. Draco took a minute when they arrived to admire the long scuff on the road from Hadlee’s broom when she took a particularly nasty fall when they were eight. He smiled and went inside to write her letter.

He invited her to St. Mungo’s the following Wednesday and sent the owl off, hoping it would know where to find her. Dinner that night was as dreadful as he’d expected. His father had wanted to know every detail of the plan and exactly what Draco had done with the Vanishing Cabinet in Hogwarts and if there was any sign of suspicion from his fellow students, especially Harry Potter. He assured his father for what felt like the hundredth time that everything was under control and headed up to his room to check for a reply from Hadlee. He found his owl holding a new piece of perfectly folded parchment. She’d replied. Draco, immediately excited at the prospect of seeing Hadlee so soon, unfolded the letter and his smile widened.

His excitement became difficult to contain as Wednesday approached far too slowly for his liking. He arrived at St. Mungo’s early and waited at the front for Hadlee. Five minutes past two and he wondered if his watch was just fast. Ten past two and he was sure she was just running late. And, at quarter after, he was ready to just head up by himself when the front doors swung open. There was Hadlee, looking very tired, but smiling at Draco.

“I’m so sorry I’m late. Dad came back late from work and had promised to apparate me here,” she said, still breathing deeply from her run.

“Well, I’m glad you made it. Mother says she’s doing loads better than she was when she was admitted. Let’s go,” Draco said, and offered Hadlee his arm. She took it with no hesitation and Draco smiled.

They walked down the hall to Mrs. Bogg’s room and were greeted with joyous shouts from their aging neighbor. “What a lovely surprise! I’m sorry to say I don’t have cookies for the two of you,” Mrs .Boggs said when they sat down.

“That’s fine, Mrs. Boggs. We should have been the ones bringing you cookies! I think we owe you about a thousand,” Hadlee joked. Draco quickly pulled out his wand and conjured a plate of delicious smelling chocolate chip cookies with a smooth flick of his wand. “Draco! How do you know how to do that?” Hadlee said, impressed with his advanced magic.

“Mother taught me last week, said it would probably come in handy since the Healers won’t let many guests bring in food,” he replied, giving Hadlee a cookie and setting the rest next to Mrs. Boggs.

“You two haven’t changed a bit! I hoped you were still friends,” Mrs. Boggs said delightfully.

“Well we-,” Draco started.

“Yes, isn’t it wonderful? Many people don’t get to say they’ve had the same best friend their whole life,” Hadlee interrupted. Draco smiled at her white lie, wishing it was true.

They spent the next hour laughing at Mrs. Boggs reminders of their childhood antics in the neighborhood. They really had been quite crazy. Things were going well until Mrs. Boggs asked, “So, are you two a couple? You’ve always been awfully cute together.”

Hadlee felt her face go red, and sadness filled Draco’s face a little too quickly, but Hadlee tried to play it off and replied with a laugh, “No, ma’am. Draco and I have never been together like that, just friends. But I don’t think he knew I had a massive crush on him when we were younger!”

“Wait, what?” Draco was shocked at her confession.

“Oh my goodness, yes. I’m pretty sure I was in love with you for like three years and you had no idea. Of course, we were only kids.”

“Boys are so oblivious. And that doesn’t change as they get older either,” Mrs. Boggs said to Hadlee.

“Apparently girls are too,” mumbled Draco under his breath as his heart jumped again when Hadlee’s hand brushed against his.

“Well, it’s been lovely Mrs. Boggs, but I have to get back to my father. Thank you for all the cookies,” Hadlee said as she stood up to hug Mrs. Boggs.

“I’ll walk you out,” Draco said and followed. “Please let me know if there’s anything you need from my family Mrs. Boggs.”

He was headed out the door to follow Hadlee when Mrs. Boggs whispered, “Marry her, Draco.”

He looked out at the hall to Hadlee then smiled back and Mrs. Boggs. “I’ll try my hardest,” then Draco left with a wave.

Cause lately I’ve been feeling strange

And everybody’s telling me to act my age

I never thought that everything I had would fade away

“That was fun, Dray. Thanks for thinking of it,” Hadlee said as they left St. Mungo’s.

“I had a great time too. You know, I miss you Had,” he replied, throwing his nickname for her into the conversation as well.

She smiled at the forgotten nickname, and the nine year old in her swelled agian. “I miss you too. I just wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“Who says it does?”

“You did when you chose being Slytherin Prince over me. But it’s in the past now, Draco. We can’t change it.”

His heart sank at her words. He’d never questioned his father’s path for him, but in this moment he wished he could scrub the ink on his arm off and kiss the girl in front of him.

“But, what if we can.”

“Judging by the way you looked at your arm just now, we can’t. No matter how much I may want to.” 

With that, Hadlee turned around, walked quickly to her father and apparated away. 

When we were younger

We didn’t know how it would be

We were the dumb, the wild, the free

Little League

[dusk-realm]

Chrysanthemum [Chapter 6: Summertime]

Have a look at my masterlist to read the previous chapters.

Tagging: @featurelengthfics

A/N: Remember that both criticism and positive feedback are welcomed in this blog! :D

Very special thanks to @fallern618 for helping me with the editing (人◕ω◕)

Four or five weeks passed without much novelty for either of them. (Y/N)’s mood plummeted as soon as the Draught of Peace finally wore off.

Severus rarely saw her: the girl had confined to her bedroom, and it was difficult to squeeze a word out of her. Severus did not disturb her whenever she was in her bedroom; he didn’t know what she did all day, for he couldn’t hear anything and he knew for sure that she didn’t really have anything to entertain herself in there.

Severus’ passiveness was very convenient for (Y/N), she could skip out meals without having anyone on her heels. Still, even in such situation, master and student got along well.

They didn’t bother one another, and there was always a peaceful atmosphere, an air of trust knowing of the safety that the other’s taciturn company brought. And they shared some moments too.

Sometimes, (Y/N) did come out of her room in the middle of the night looking wretched and having red puffy eyes, only to sit on the floor with her back leaning on the side of Severus’ armchair while he was reading. In those moments, Severus knew perfectly well what to do. He didn’t need to ask, he didn’t need to utter a word. He just lazily let his hand rest on top of her head, and stroke her hair very, very slowly. And Severus knew he was doing the right thing when he could feel her body loosen up the tension, or let out a soft sigh.

One morning, (Y/N) surprisingly turned up for breakfast. Severus was already preparing something, and he must have taken her into account, because there was enough for two.

‘Morning.’ He greeted softly.

‘Morning…’ She croaked back. Severus stretched out an arm for her to come closer. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, rubbing them with his thumb.

‘Do you like crêpes?’ Severus pressed her a little tighter against his body, as if half-hugging her. She nodded twice with a meek smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

(Y/N) rested her chin on Severus’ chest, staring into his eyes. The professor felt his heart grow a size under her gaze, it was very difficult for him to produce a full sentence without stammering in a Quirrell-ish fashion.

It had been almost a whole month since she last talked, or even looked at him straight to the eyes. It had been worse than being alone again, because she was there, but at the same time she was absent, and there was little for the professor to do about it.

‘Watch the pan. I’ll be back in a minute.’ He pulled away and left for the toilet, locking the door after himself.

In the meantime, (Y/N) carefully flipped the crêpe. The screech of an owl at the window of the kitchen distracted her.

‘Severus, you’ve got mail!’ She called. The girl left the stove to open the curtains and let the owl in. She averted her eyes in surprise, as it was carrying a rather big box with a note attached.

‘Have you carried this? You’re such a good boy, good job…’ She cooed softly, petting the owl’s breast. Severus came back from the toilet in no time and checked the food first. He seemed satisfied, then he proceeded to check the mail.

‘I wonder who sends this..?’ He muttered to himself. (Y/N) watched him with curious eyes grab the letter attached to it, checking the sender. He raised his eyebrows and slowly put it down.

‘This is for you.’ He declared.

‘What? No, it can’t be for me.’ She took the letter in disbelief and checked it out. (Y/N) (L/N) could be read very clearly, as well as the name Minerva McGonagall. (Y/N) took another look. Yes, it undoubtedly said (Y/N) (L/N), from Minerva McGonagall.

‘But what kind of business could she have with me..?’ She mumbled. Severus could tell that she was nervous for the way her hands had started trembling.

‘There’s only one way to find out.’ He tempted, only to turn around to busy himself with the breakfast in order to give her some space. (Y/N) opened the envelope with shaky hands but meticulously nevertheless, without breaking the paper. It felt almost as if she was opening a treasure chest, for she had never gotten a letter, except the official ones from Hogwarts.

What could Professor McGonagall want?

The girl took out the letter and read for herself:

Dear (Y/N),

please accept this gift as a token of my good wishes for you.

How are you feeling? I hope that you are getting along with Professor Snape.

Enjoy your summer holidays, but remember not to put completely aside your studies; I am eager to see what you have to offer in my class next year.

Kindest regards,

Minerva

(Y/N) looked up at Severus, who was serving the crêpes folded in a triangle shape, with melted milk chocolate and sliced fruit on top of it.

‘It says it’s a gift.’

‘Well, what are you waiting for to open it, then? We don’t want a cold breakfast, now do we?’

(Y/N) replied no more. Instead, she opened the box with as much care as the letter she had received. She peered inside of it and gasped.

‘It can’t be!’ She exclaimed in a high-pitched voice. Severus was serving some coffee when he saw (Y/N) pull out a white, big, fluffy teddy bear from out of the box, screeching in happiness.

‘Don’t do that!’ He snarled. The unpleasant sound reminded him of that goddamned owl of hers and of his injured pinkie. (Y/N) couldn’t care less, she hugged the plushie tightly against her body and buried her face into its soft head while stamping her feet on the floor.

‘IT’S SO SOFT AND IT SMELLS LIKE BABY COLOGNE.’ Her voice came muffled from the plushie, yet it was perfectly audible. Severus nearly physically facepalmed.

‘(Y/N).’ He warned. The seriousness of his voice made her look up, but she didn’t move from her position.

‘Be-have.’ The girl gave the toy one last squeeze before putting it away and pulling her plate closer.

Why are you grumpy? What have I done now?

Yet oh, how little she cared, her heart fluttered with happiness!

‘Sorry… It’s just that I’ve never gotten a present. I can’t help it.’ Severus raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

‘If you are going to lie, at least do it right. Orphanages get donations to give children toys and other things,’ said he accusingly. (Y/N) felt hurted by the manner in which he said that.

Lie? Why would I lie about that?

‘You said it. Donations. Charity. The trash that privileged children don’t pay attention to anymore, you name it. It was distributed randomly. A gift is so much more than that, it’s something given specially to one person. I didn’t ever receive a gift, and neither did anyone receive one from me.’

Severus decided that it would be best not to answer anything. He was well aware that he had messed up by getting himself into such a touchy subject. Plus he was not in the mood to argue with the kid. The mere mention of tough childhoods had him mentally re-enacting some of his old memories, which was not much appreciated. The flashes of his father struck him, but he remembered, at the same time, how his mother would always have something for him on Christmas, even if it was just a couple of rusty coins. (Y/N) probably didn’t even have that, which made his stomach drop with guilt.

‘Severus?’ A soft voice pulled him from his thoughts. ‘Are you alright?’

Severus took some air through his mouth. He probably had been spacing out for a bit too long, just enough for the girl to notice. And he noticed that, under the table, he was gripping his own knee really hard.

‘Eat.’ He ordered curtly, seeing that neither of them had really touched the food. They started eating silently, specially (Y/N), who didn’t want to upset her teacher further. But after awhile, breakfast already finished, she just had to break the silence. She felt like she needed to hear him to check if he was truly angry.

Have I done something?

He was in a good mood, it's my fault, it has to be my fault.

‘Are you going to do anything special today, Severus?’ She asked softly, scared of him having a mood again for talking too loudly.

‘Not particularly, why?’

‘I don’t know, I’ve been a little bored lately.’ The girl confessed, seeing that there was no perceptible change in his tone. He hummed softly while cleaning up the table before answering:

‘Organize the shelves in the living room and I’ll let you grab any book you want.’

‘Really? Anything?!’ (Y/N) jumped to her feet, shocked and hopping in excitement all at the same time.

‘Of course, make sure to arrange them alphabetically.’ (Y/N) chuckled in delight:

‘By title or by author?’ Severus seemed to evaluate the choice.

‘It really depends on whether you have a ton of books from the same few authors or you have a wide variety of writers in your collection,’ she continued, seeing that he was having trouble deciding, ‘whichever is more comfortable for you.’

‘By title it is then.’

‘Fine, but you do the dishes.’

‘Deal. You better start now, and luckily you’ll be done by midnight.’ He sassed, showing off a playful smirk. Those shelves were something he had been putting off for years, so why not put her to work? It's not like she was doing it for nothing, anyway, and she looked excited for her reward.

(Y/N) had already rushed to the living room before the sentence could be ended, which made the teacher chuckle in satisfaction. It always was a delight to see his girl thriving with such little things. She had even forgotten to take the teddy bear to her bedroom, and McGonagall’s owl was sleeping peacefully perched on one of the chairs.

There was a pile of dishes to wash, but Severus couldn’t bring himself to work. His mind was still on (Y/N).

He couldn’t help feeling terribly guilty for lashing out on her in such a foul manner, calling her a liar. A whispering voice filled Snape’s head, stressing how one of his favourite students now hated him as everyone else, and how it was his fault only.

The voice told him what he feared hearing the most: how he hadn’t been able to take care of the youngster, and how she would inevitably walk away from his side, like everyone else he had had the littlest affection for. It hurted feeling incapable of taking care of the girl, foreseeing that any day, she would turn her back to him just like everyone else. And of course, McGonagall had to make him look even worse with that stupid bribing of hers.

He glared back at the white plushie laying there lifelessly and hissed lowly at it. But there was really nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t just grab it and throw it away, or it would make (Y/N) really, really cross. The dishes were finally left unwashed. Instead, Severus decided to go check on the girl.

(Y/N) was sitting on the floor, surrounded by piles and piles of books. She was carefully taking, dusting off and arranging each book in smaller groups, getting prepared to organize them later as requested. He walked without making noise, stalking from behind. With each step he took closer, a sweet melody tingled in his ears.

She’s singing?

(Y/N) was humming softly while she worked. It was an old habit of hers, although she only did it privately, when she was alone. It was a vague melody, probably improvised, yet the warmth of her voice struck Severus so hard that he stopped dead in his tracks. Standing there, in the middle of the living room, so close yet so far from the sitting figure, a vision from the past froze Severus’ blood in his veins.

NO.

She was holding an old album, something he believed long lost. Countless memories flashed through the master’s mind, memories from his early childhood, when everything was a little bit better and a little bit more magical, memories of the decline of his joy, the vanishing of his infantile ingenuity and his little niche crumbling under his feet, memories of his father and the lash on his tender flesh. He couldn’t move, his limbs didn’t respond. He was frozen in place, like a statue, screaming inside and not being able to produce a single sound.

But

Before the pair of black, incredulous eyes, (Y/N) wiped off the dust off the ragged album and left it aside unopened in slow motion. His lungs took in a mouthful of air, as if he had been underwater for too long. His fingertips warmed up again, his blood rushed down to his legs again. Severus felt like butterflies in his stomach, he was over-aware of his own heartbeat, thumping against his ribs. Severus was so ready to yell at her, to get angry at her for snooping around and to forbid her touching anything else. So ready to snatch the album from her hands.

But that wasn’t necessary.

Because (Y/N) (L/N) did not vulnerate his privacy.

Because it felt safe. Yes, she felt safe to have around, because she genuinely respected him.

(Y/N) finally acknowledged his presence. Her cheeks dusted in a gentle pink.

Crap, he must have heard me singing.

‘Ah, Severus, I was about to fetch you.’ She grabbed the album from the floor and held it above her head. ‘I found this album, do you want me to put it with the rest of the books?’ She observed Severus marching robotically towards her.

He's angry?

But he only sat down Indian style by her side. He was a bit too close, with his knee brushing hers. (Y/N) felt intimidated by his intense, flaring gaze.

Don’t you know what personal space is?

‘I-I didn’t snoop, promise...’ She quickly argued. Severus smiled and replied:

‘There's nothing to fear,’ He put the album on both of their knees. ‘do you want to see it with me?’

‘Eh…’ Severus watched her hesitate slightly. She was probably thinking he had gone mental. He would think so too, but he had remembered how his mum sat with him and saw the album together, recollecting happier times in family. ‘Yeah, sure.’ The girl finally agreed. She was glad to do so.

Why not?

Severus’ eyes lit up in a way she had never seen before. Then, he opened the album at a random page. The covers creaked before revealing the pictures. They were all static, which surprised (Y/N).

So perhaps he’s a muggleborn?

‘Are those your parents?’ She asked, pointing at a young couple in one of the photos. They seemed to be at some monument (Y/N) could not recognise.

‘Yes, my mother, Eileen Prince,’ he said, signaling at the woman. She did look like Severus, (Y/N) thought, with that beautiful mane of black hair, her sallow skin and her big hooked nose. ‘And my father, Tobias.’ He introduced. (Y/N)’s sharp gaze travelled from one to another before looking at her teacher again and dissolving into a warm smile.

‘You look so much like your mum.’ Severus’ smile mirrored (Y/N)’s.

‘Do you think so?’

‘Absolutely!’ She exclaimed enthusiastically. A very smiley Severus flipped a couple of pages, revealing pictures of himself as a baby and as a toddler. (Y/N) nearly screamed, but she contained herself by physically covering her mouth.

‘Dear Merlin, is that you as a baby?!’ Severus nodded slowly with a glint of fear in his eyes.

You better not call me ugly.

‘You were so cute, Severus! Look at those cheeks!’

‘What is it with my cheeks?’ He asked in a distrusting fashion.

‘They were so chubby and squishy, where did they go?’ (Y/N) extended a hand to caress the present day’s Severus’ face, her fingers sunk under his cheekbones. ‘It's a tragedy. A national loss.’

‘I'm glad they disappeared, I can't command respect with squishy cheeks. They… get in the way. ’ (Y/N) cackled, making up the scene of a pissed off Snape with fat cheeks in her mind.

‘Well, that would be a sight, you must acknowledge it.’

‘This,’ Severus skipped a few pages without her noticing... ‘this one was taken right before me going to Hogwarts for the first time.’

‘Oh, wait, wait-’ … or so he thought. (Y/N) flipped back a page and placed a finger right on a red-haired girl, ‘who's this?’ His lips quivered, he was watching the photo intently.

‘Lily.’ He muttered after almost a minute of silence.

‘Is she a relative of yours? You both look so happy!’

‘She was…’ Severus shut his eyes before answering. He was gripping again at his own knee. ‘She lived near here. We used to be best friends.’

‘That's nice. Was she a witch too?’ Severus simply nodded and moved on to the same picture as before.

‘As I was saying- this was taken right before I left for Hogwarts.’

‘Were you eleven already? You look smaller actually.’ She took a good look at him. The young Severus looked tiny compared to the adult sitting by her side. His shoulders looked much rounder and less broad, and he looked skinny. Still, his eyes looked lively and intense, burning with passion. ‘But I can see you were really excited to go, I can see it in your eyes.’ (Y/N) leaned in to have a better view of the little Severus. He looked so happy, so innocent and so enthusiastic all at the same time. He looked so promising and tender. The adult Severus looked similar and dissimilar at the same time from his juvenile version. The physical aspect was pretty much the same, but rather, it was the unattractiveness of his bitter temper and his apathy that changed his expression completely, transforming that kid into the Severus Snape of today. The professor had started to close the album discreetly, pulling it towards himself.

‘There are no more?’ Severus shook his head.

‘Really? Not a single one of you during your Hogwarts years?’ He lowered his head and let his fingers linger across the leathery cover. Then, he looked up at her, straight into her eyes. Hey considered that perhaps, she wouldn't laugh at him. Perhaps she wouldn't harm him. That maybe, he could trust her and see how things developed.

In a single movement, he pulled out a picture of him as a teenager, probably 15 or 16, and handed it to her. (Y/N) took it as if it was a treasure. This Severus’ eyes were more alike to the present day. He didn't smile anymore, and he slouched instead of standing straight with pride and willingness. (Y/N) had the suspicion that something bad had happened to him in Hogwarts, between one picture and the other, but it didn’t feel like the right moment to ask about something like that.

‘You were so handsome,’ she murmured, admiring his features and his considerably longer hair, ‘but you should smile more, like when you were little.’

‘I’ll think about it.’ Was his only answer, pulling the most stern face he could at the moment. The solemnity of such expression made the youngster burst out into laughter.

‘Why are you like this!’ She leaned in until they head-bumped. Severus gave in and laughed wholeheartedly with her for a while. Their fit eventually died out, leaving them happily tired and leaning against each other while catching their breath.

‘Thanks for sharing this with me, Severus.’

He wanted to answer Thanks to you, but he didn’t find the courage. Instead, Severus solely placed his hand on her head and stroked her hair, as always. (Y/N) gave back the picture, and Severus put it back in place.

None of them moved away. They stayed like that for an eternity, simply enjoying the companionship of the other, staring at the wall.

‘Severus? Can I ask something?’ (Y/N) whispered, still leaning on his shoulder.

‘Hmm.’

‘Are you muggleborn?’ He straightened himself up and leaned backwards a little bit, placing his palms on the floor for support.

‘Half-blood. Why?’ (Y/N) shrugged it off, and answered causally:

‘Curiosity, I noticed that all the photos were muggle ones.’

‘Does it matter?’ He asked curtly. Severus fixed his gaze on her eyes, which shined as ever. His lips were parted in expectation. He wondered how much the ideals of the blood purists of Slytherin had permeated her tender mind. He was terrified to know, actually, but many barriers had been crossed that day.

‘Not at all. It is your talent that matters.’ (Y/N) answered without hesitation as she pointed at the centre of his chest.

‘My… talent?’ He echoed. His gaze travelled from her hand to her face, trying to decode what she meant.

‘Yes, your talent. I’ve never seen you screw up a potion, and despite how dangerous they are, I’ve never, never seen a student come out of your classroom injured. And I mean, have a look.’ She said, opening her arms and signalling at all the scattered books. ‘ You are brilliant, and that’s what should matter, nothing else.’ She stated.

Severus contemplated her for a moment. Suddenly, he pulled her into a quick, tight hug. Quite brusque, (Y/N) thought, but appreciated nonetheless. His heart swelled in happiness when her hands crawled up on his back, embracing him tenderly. It didn't last long yet it expressed so much more than words could ever have, it sent chills down his spine.

For a moment he felt so, so tempted to try and read her mind, just to know whether she was telling the truth or not. But having her so close to himself made things clearer than any possible thought he could ever attempt to interpret. Severus’ withdrawal was so quick that it practically looked as if he was running away after such display of affection, leaving a very giggly (Y/N) to finish her task lonely.

The rest of the summer went by smoothly and peacefully.

(Y/N) was a really avid learner, no book was ever enough for her. The girl wouldn't stop pestering Severus with questions and requests to explain more on each of whatever subject that awakened her interest: dates, potioneers and their respective discoveries, ingredients, their properties, why they were using only pewter cauldrons in class, whether it was wisest to keep the recipes for oneself or live off the copyright of authorship by publishing one's work like Libatius Borage had done, what they would be doing in second year, third, fourth, and why this and not this other thing.

Severus couldn't really resist much before granting her the right of snooping around his personal notes and books as much as she wanted, both to keep her happy and calm and to preserve his own sanity, although he couldn't deny how proud he felt of her improvements. The only things out of bound for her were the objects he kept in the storage room downstairs and the ingredients she didn't know the properties of, which the master checked regularly by throwing random questions about whichever substance came to mind. Her progress was such that by mid July, he allowed her to be his assistant, and by August, she was brewing more advanced potions under his supervision, but all by herself.

The overall good atmosphere also made her stay out of her bedroom more often than not, and her appetite had been increasing slowly but steadily. Severus had discovered that she did not like cauliflower.

You just don't put stinky things in your mouth, instinct tells you that! Her voice resonated inside his head. And from that point on, he had deliberately avoided putting anything particularly smelly on her plate. They only had one little clash, though. It happened some Wednesday, when Severus had decided to sit in the living room desk in front of the window and fill out the request form for the vacant D.A.D.A post. That was before (Y/N) appeared in the room and peaked from above his shoulder.

‘What are you doing?’ She had asked, gently placing both of  her cold hands on his back.

‘Nothing.’ He dryly answered.

‘It doesn't look like nothing. Is it potions related?’

‘No.’

‘Hogwarts related?’ She insisted. Severus let out a looong sigh and mouthed a whole thread of swears.

‘Yes, you're not going to stop until I tell you, are you?’ (Y/N)’s devilish smirk was enough answer for him, so he continued: ‘I’m applying for the vacant in Defence Against the Dark Arts this year. I'm filling out the form.’ He explained rather calmly.

‘Hmmm…’ The girl seemed to accept it quite easily,  but… ‘WAIT. You're going to teach two subjects?’

Oh, no.

‘No, I'd be teaching only Defense.’

‘But what about Potions then?’ Another sigh. He was starting to lose his patience, but he wasn't going to snap at her like that one time with the teddy bear. Losing her trust now was something he wasn’t willing to let happen, after observing how she had pulled herself out of such melancholic spiral, now that she had slowly begun to confide in him, after vowing to himself to protect her.

‘That's not my responsibility. Dumbledore can find any othe-’

‘No he can't!! There's nobody better than you in Potions, I've learned so much this summer! Please please Severus, don't leave it!’

It was tough not to give up with her gripping his arm so hard and staring so intently with such big puppy eyes. In no time, he had succumbed to her charms and agreed by ungracefully dropping the quill on top of the paper. The black ink dripped all over the document

‘Fine, you win.’

‘Really?!’

‘It's all stained now anyway, I can't present it like this.’ Were his last words before he ripped the parchment and threw it away.Severus secretly embraced a sparkling joy for having someone holding him in such high regard that no other instructor could be accepted. He, for once, could allow himself to be proud of his own work as a teacher, and it made him feel renewed and thrilling.

(Y/N) was sitting on the floor, as always, devouring some book about the stabilizing properties of some certain ingredients applied to potion-making. She glanced up to the wall. August 21st. There used to be an old calendar there from the 80’s but Severus had replaced it for a new one of the current year for her, so she could count the days remaining for coming back to school. It was quite a waste of money, if anyone asked the teacher, but it made her happy nonetheless, and she had a motive to get out of her bedroom, so he was relatively content with having a bunny-themed calendar hanging on his wall.

Knock knock knock

The firm knocks drew their attention away from their respective readings.

(Y/N) was leaning against the armchair, hidden from view. Severus closed his newspaper at the sound of the door, but he didn’t get up yet.

Knock knock

The girl dropped her book and looked at him.

‘Were you expecting anyone?’ She whispered, as if the mysterious visitor could hear her from outside the house.

‘I think I might…’ he pausedly said, standing up, ‘have an idea…’ walking to the door, ‘of who it is.’ and opening the door. It was Albus Dumbledore himself, giving off that special aura of magnificence of his. (Y/N) remained hidden, trusting her hearing. The door closed, and both men walked inside.

‘Good afternoon, Severus. How are you?’ Severus only growled a little bit.

‘Where is (Y/N)?’

‘Right there.’ She heard Severus’ deep voice, obliging her to come out from her hideout.

‘Hello, Headmaster, sir…’ She timidly peaked above the arm of the recliner before standing up to her feet.

‘Ah, there you are. How are you, darling?’ The old man approached and took both of her hands between his. ‘Severus, I could use a cup of tea. These old bones of mine…’ The professor strode his way to the kitchen after muttering a ‘Very well.’ , while Dumbledore invited (Y/N) to sit by his side on the sofa.

‘Tell me, here, how is living with Severus like?’ The old man whispered.

The closeness of the old man’s face unsettled (Y/N), but she endured until Severus would come back.

‘It’s…’ She took a second to think. Whatever she answered, it would surely affect her mentor, so she had to play her cards just right. ‘...soothing. I was reading before you came, sir, Severus lets me grab anything I want to from his collection.’ (Y/N) confided.The geezer was sure sharp for his age, he must have noticed how she called him Severus instead of Professor or Professor Snape. Hinting a little of familiarity would probably work to her advantage. Dumbledore seemed pleased, as he leaned back relaxedly and nodded at her.

‘You must admit, though, that this quarter his quite deserted.’

Maybe not that pleased yet.

‘Hmm… but it’s peaceful. It feels safe here.’ She replied. Fortunately, Severus came to the rescue, and with tea for three.

‘Thank you, Severus’ Dumbledore commented as the other laid everything out on the coffee table. Then he continued:

‘I'm here to hand you in person your letter, (Y/N).’ The headmaster announced, pulling out the familiar envelope and extending it to the teenager.

‘Oh, you shouldn't have taken the trouble, thank you.’ She politely answered, although she was sure that there was something else he wanted. Why else would he bother to come just for the letter? Regardless, teatime passed serenely with light meaningless conversation between the three of them. Once (Y/N) settled her empty cup on the table, Dumbledore spoke:

‘The course starts in two of weeks, I advise you have a look at the materials you may need, my girl.’

So you're here for Severus.

She looked at her protector for confirmation.

‘I suggest that you try on your old uniform, see if it fits.’ Hey said, as if he had just read her mind.

How fucking rude, show up at the door uninvited and then shoo me away as if-

‘Of course,’ she said with a soft voice as she stood up, ‘I’ll make a list with everything I need.’ She stated. Severus nodded at her and she left the room. Dumbledore was going to talk, but Severus stopped him by raising a hand, which he didn't put down until he could hear the door upstairs.

‘Now, mind to tell me why exactly you are turning up at my house in the middle of my holidays?’ Severus grunted grumpily. He must have been containing himself while (Y/N) was in the room, because now he seemed in a much worse mood in front of the unexpected visitor.

‘I just thought convenient to check on little (Y/N), how has she been?’

‘Don't- use her as an excuse. But, since you claim to be so preoccupied; she is tranquil in temper, and much more of an insatiable learner than some Ravenclaws, let alone the Gryffindors.’

‘Will you take her under your wing, Severus?’

‘Perhaps... she has the predisposition, but she still needs to mature. Now, what did you come for?’

‘The dark magic never rests, my boy.’

‘Is this about Potter?’

‘We must keep a much closer look on him,’ said Dumbledore after nodding, ‘especially after the events of last year-’

‘I can do only so much if he only gets himself into trouble, it must be in his genes, seeing the family record.’ Snape's voice raised with despise as he reached the end of the sentence.

‘I thought you would have gotten over it, Severus! Look at you, still holding school grudges…’ Dumbledore exclaimed in a patronizing manner. Since the other part went dead silent, Dumbledore continued:

‘Don't you have anything for me, Severus?’ He invited soothingly. Snape was fidgeting with his fingers when he gazed up at the bin beneath the desk, where the paper rested all crumbled and stained in dry ink.

‘Not this year…’ He answered softly, very lowly.

‘You have finally understood, why I can't let you teach that subject?’ Dumbledore asked with both eyebrows raised. It was odd that the young professor suddenly gave up his requests on that D.A.D.A position he had been chasing since minute one, he thought.

‘She…’ Severus mumbled.

‘Speak up, my boy, I can’t hear you.’

‘She…’ he repeated in a slightly increased volume ‘didn't want me to.’

‘She who?’ The old director insisted.

‘(Y/N), didn't want me to stop teaching Potions. I’m not applying this year.’ The professor clarified in a velvety voice. ‘But, I’m sure you have already found someone anyways, have you?’

‘Very well then, I think it is time for me to go. I'll see you in September, then.’ Dumbledore stood up and swiftly waved goodbye before leaving. Snape didn't bother standing up or taking the courtesy of accompanying the old man to the front door. Only seconds after, he heard rushed small footsteps coming down. She was actually wearing her uniform, as the teacher had requested.

‘He's left?’ She asked from the doorframe.

‘Yes.’

‘I thought he would at least say goodbye.’ (Y/N) protested in exchange.

‘Leave it be. Come, let me see you.’ But the teenager didn’t obey this time. Instead, she went to the bookshelf and grabbed the old album. Severus let himself sink in the threadbare armchair, his fingertips finding each other while his hands rested on his lap.

‘I wasn’t eavesdropping, but…’ the girl began, flicking through the pages of the album, ‘I caught something from the conversation,’ she took a picture first, flicked through another page, then took out another one and went to sit down by his side, on the armrest, ‘and I just have to confirm it.’ Then, she showed, both pictures. It was the one taken before Hogwarts, and the one taken during his fifth year.

‘What may be your concern?’ He asked, rubbing his right thumb against the other. (Y/N) noticed and softly inserted her own hand between his.

‘Hogwarts wasn’t a bed of roses, was it?’ The girl murmured. At the same time, she intertwined their fingers delicately. Severus only stared at his younger version with saddened eyes. The teacher finally confessed almost inaudibly:

‘I saw my illusions shattered,’ he paused and tightened his grip on (Y/N)’s hand, ‘by this pack of Gryffindors lead by Potter’s father, James. Always four on one, though. The git never had the guts to try anything by himself against me.’

‘That sounds like a pack of hyenas more than Gryffindor’s lions.’ (Y/N) bitterly remarked. Severus let out a single dark cackle. She went on:

‘I always wonder why people take so much pleasure in tormenting others. It’s so cruel…’

‘Well, for… existing was one of their favourite reasons to.’

‘Fuck… and the prefects? The teachers? They didn’t do anything?’ Severus shook his head softly.

‘Lily..? She was your childhood friend, wasn't she?’

‘Enough of that.’ He said, not willing to go into deeper detail. ‘It’s far too late, it can't be helped now. You, on the contrary…’ Severus freed his hand and surrounded her with his whole arm, pulling her in and making her land on his lap. ‘You, are, not, alone.’ He explained carefully, emphasising every word.

‘You have me.’

[docrry]

「Sirius Black x Severus Snape」Mad dog

“because I can never go out of the hole and see the stars. “

One.

I saw him.

He sat at the end of Slytherin’s long table, hunched over as usual, not speaking or standing, eating only the food at hand. Never mind that his dirty, greasy hair hung down to the sides of his face, and he wouldn’t pull it back behind his ears, looking Sullen and repulsive.

We and James have been picking on him a lot less recently – this year, actually – With O. W. L. s.With the arrival of S, we were finally less keen to pick a fight with the big nosed Slytherin, but James continued to resent him for spending so much time with Evans And a “lovely after-dinner snack” for him, but his years of developing the habit of tossing a dozen detection spells at a drink didn’t work. James was always as mad as a bee, but there was nothing he could do about it. After all, professor mcgonagall had spoken to him about his assessment of academic achievement, and he could do little better – At least at O. W. L .S. before it’s over. Snape seemed to notice my glance. He finally lifted his face out of his hair and gouged me out after he saw it was me.

I didn’t do anything to him, at least not right now, not at the dinner table. I smiled at him maliciously, raised my hand and made a lewd gesture. I never liked him above the zero line, even on the basis of his dirty looks, and he was so disgusting. Just after today, afternoon to be exact, we have a big surprise for him, oh, dirty little sweetheart, Severus Snape. I can already imagine James hearing it. I leaned a little to Jaime’s side and nudged him.

He was dancing and talking to Remus, and stuffing bread into his mouth, and it made him wonder if he was going to choke himself to death. I leaned close to his ear, “Look there, look there, dear prong fork, ” he said, in a sickly, sickly voice that made his stomach twitch. “How poor our dirty sweetheart is, he doesn’t even know what’s going to happen! ” I pointed to Snape.

He spilled pumpkin juice in front of him and laughed convulsively at the table, even though the spilled drink would make his clothes dirty and the laughter would nearly tear the ceiling off the auditorium.

The Dome is clear today.

Remus asked me what was happening with his eyes, and I repeated what I had just said, deliberately speaking loudly, only cutting off a small portion of the back so that the entire auditorium could hear it.

Snape reacted more than I had expected, presumably knowing that the disgusting term was used to describe him, and he lifted his head with a mixture of disdain and hatred in his eyes.

Actually, the name Snivellus him better. I think. He hates me to death, great, and I hate him, too, and his arrogance reminds me a lot – a lot. He finally finished his food, got up from his seat, picked up his book and walked out the door of the auditorium. I figured he was waiting for Ivans, and some people – all of us at the long table – laughed and watched him walk out. So many people looking at him, he could feel it. He straightened up his crooked back and strode, as if that would make him look more dignified.

I was wondering why Evans didn’t come out today and accuse us of “making such outrageous jokes” and “insulting people” and stuff like that. I couldn’t stand her, but she was my buddy’s girl. As it turned out, she had followed Snape out. She walked so fast that he was left staring at the door of the auditorium as if he could make a hole in it. He could not sit still any longer, and ran out with a curse.

I stood up, and Peter was on the other side of the table, stuffing his bag with bread and fruit. I don’t know why he does it so furtively. Besides, he puts the bread under the fruit. Doesn’t he know that it will squash them? “Hey, wormtail, ” I said, “you should put the bread on it. If you don’t want to see crumbs all over your metamorphosis homework. ” He said yes, sounding a little flustered and indecisive, as he always does. So I didn’t hear you, and I didn’t ask. Remus got up, too, and I picked up the bag strap and waddled out the door. I was at ease because I had no interest in knowing how James would get up in front of Severus Snape and do what we always do – or say. It’s GonNa end with him getting his ass kicked by Evans.

ANYWAY-THIS AFTERNOON-Ithink James’s gonna get his revenge. No matter how much he like a clown in front of the girl he liked – I hate to say it, but it’s true – he was bound to feel humiliated when Snape was around, no matter how juvenile he was.

I don’t know what James did, but he stepped in just before class, and we waited in our seats for a long time. Evans and Snape walked into the classroom side by side behind him. As they walked, Ivans said something to Snape that I couldn’t hear. Professor mcgonagall gave James a Stern, discontented look, and saw the anger and displeasure draining from his face. James walked over to our regular table and sat down next to me. I moved over to make room for Remus. There were other students at the table, and it must have been difficult for Peter to move. I glanced over and saw that he was indeed wedged between the two men. James shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then, when professor mcgonagall was not looking, lowered his voice to complain.

“Lily’s still so protective of the SNIVELLUS, “ he said. “I don’t know why. ”

“We can do that thing we’ve been planning for a long time this afternoon, can’t we? “ I glanced in the direction snape was sitting, alone as he had been this morning Beside him sat a distant Slytherin at the same table, and he seemed very reluctant to sit with Severus Snape. I grunted. "Lily does protect him, prong fork, and for Merring’s sake, I’m getting tired of hearing you say that every time you lose a battle. ”

“Or what? What am I gonNA say? Am I gonNa say, ‘Oh, great, Lily’s always so nice, look at her, willing to help a snot! ’ God, you disgust me, padfoot. “

I punched him in the shoulder, and he growled and tried to grab my hair. (I’d been complaining about my hair getting knotted, and James was always trying to “fix” me. “Hey, you can’t! “ I said.) I heard professor McGonagall’s voice.

“Mr. Pooter, Mr. Black, this is a class. Please don’t fight. And listen to me! ”

Her voice sounded like a warning, which meant that if we continued to play tricks in the classroom, our institute’s hourglass would lose some gems. James and I grinned, our necks tucked into our shoulders. A lot of people are staring at our table, but nobody here has a fever in their face. I playfully turned the page, and when I looked up I saw Snape sitting, taking notes, and not looking back to see what was happening.

After the transformation class, the exam room and the list were posted on the bulletin board in the corridor near the quidditch field. Not that I was particularly interested in my own exams, but that was Ivans’s job, for God’s sake. I tried to put my head in front of me, but before I could read the notice board, James lifted his arms out of my chin, and I complained bitterly. “What the Hell, James? “ I bit my tongue.

He looked as if he’d met my family as if he’d drunk ten bottles of ecstasy and a bag of pop rocks in one sitting. He grabbed me by the neck and dragged me to the bulletin board, pointing proudly to his own name and to Ivans’s: "I’m in the same classroom as Lily! PADFOOT! Look at this! ”

“Wow, that’s really great, “ remus laughed as he pulled me out from under James’s arm. I’ve never been more grateful to him. "It’s great! ” I said, still happy for him. “Watch it, PRONG FORK! ” I raised an eyebrow, grinned, tapped him on the shoulder, and made an effort toward Evans. She looked unhappy, her eyebrows furrowed, especially when she heard James Shout so loudly that they tightened and whispered something. Snape was not far from her, for she was standing with Mary McDonnell.

Pfft. Heel.

“Don’t you want to see who you’re in the same classroom with? “ James asked, and I realized later that there was. The crowd moved a little, giving me more room – I always felt sad to be squeezed. I followed the initials and soon saw my name. I sat in a spare classroom on the second floor of the main tower. I didn’t have a lot of acquaintances, although I could and did quickly get to know someone other than Slytherin. I kept looking until I saw the "L” and I saw remus’s name.

“I’m in the same classroom as you, moony. “ I nudged him with my elbow and slipped my arm up close to his neck. "Great! I don’t know any questions that can… ” “No. “ He shook off my hand with great equanimity "I won’t do it. You do it yourself. Our seat numbers are separated by nearly three groups, and I remember very clearly that I caught you studying. ”

“Oh! No! “ I pretended to be hurt a lot, with his finger to wipe the corner of the eye does not exist tears.

"wait a minute, Sirius, look this way, ” he said suddenly. “here. You’re still in the same classroom as Snape. ” He pointed at the abominable name, which struck me as a bit weird, and in fact, I felt my jaw drop. “Shit! ” I said. I rubbed my eyes so hard that I couldn’t get rid of the monogram hanging behind the name – he was even sitting next to me, for God’s sake! Side!

That wasn’t the worst of it. Apparently I was a little loud in my swearing. James Glanced over Ask remus what’s going on (“He looks worse than he did when he ate the troll Snot！” He says) . When he found out, he immediately said to me in a tone full of pity and pity: “Poor padfoot! He had to get so close to the Snivellus snot! ”

I snarled and pulled my hair back. `THAT'SsDISGUSTINGg!Don’t make me think of that!Merlin！ “

Apparently Snape didn’t know it yet, but he gave me the same look he gave Grindylow . Just one look, but the contempt he displayed was enough to make me want to rush in and break his nose I actually did that, too, but I didn’t do the next part.

“Black！What the Hell is wrong with you? ” He said, stepping back in a tone of disgust and incredulity. And I find that tone even more irritating.

Evans wasn’t there anyway, and she and her female companion arm in arm after asking a few questions about their classroom. It was he, Snape, the disgusting bastard, who had been left behind. Ha! Jettisoned! Abandoned! I don’t like to see him following us, McDonnell would tell Evans, and Evans would be more subtle – perhaps not subtle at all – in telling him that she and MC Donald were going to leave first Tell him not to follow us! What a poor! Who is he to talk to me like that?

I got close to him. I got real close. So close, he could practically poke his nose in my face. I looked into his eyes, and they were black, pure, no other color, just black. It was so dark it made the Blake family look almost brown. I hate his black, not only because of what it reminds me of, but more because of him – how loathsome it is, black as the abyss, black as the blackest swamp No matter where you look, you won’t find a flower, you won’t find life. Hatred-it is full of hatred, full of resentment beyond hatred, unwilling, Sullen; long and noiseless, with a sickening tenacity.

“listen, snivellus. “ I almost gritted my teeth to squeeze the words out. “Don’t ever, ever, look at me like that again. You sick, dirty bastard! ”

His brow furrowed, and I could see clearly that something else was coming out of his eyes, growing from a deep place.

“Who are you to give me orders like that, Black? “ His lips moved, and a deep contempt in his face made me see for a moment that it was contempt, a deep, deep contempt. “Why should you? Because you are the eldest son of the Black family? Come on, you are a mad dog, and you even make your brother feel sorry for you by mentioning it! ”

“How dare you! “ I finally couldn’t resist, and rudely grabbed him by the collar. The fabric of his clothes was much more fragile than I had expected. I heard the screams and cracks, but why should I care about his damn clothes How dare he mention Regulus in front of me? How dare he!

I don’t know why just being in the same classroom with him makes me so angry, but I think it’s probably because he’s such a fucking disgusting bastard.

“Sirius! ” Remus called my name, but he said nothing else. I knew he was reminding me.

Snape raised an eyebrow and looked at me, his smile giving me a twinge in my stomach. He walked past me, back out, as if hoping to look taller than me. There was a sneer in his laugh, a sharp sting, as if to remind me that I was the black sheep of a great family, the scum of the world, what the hell does he know, a snake that crawled out of nowhere and never understood how I felt Let him go to hell with his damned venom on his back! His eyes were a jumble of things, intermingled with each other, and congealed into something so twisted that it hurt his eyes in the dark. The curve in the corner of his mouth was too proud of his nature. Who told him that he could pry into other people’s private affairs? Rude, evil thing!

I gasped and felt a rush of air in my chest, and James jumped in and said how cool I was to make that snotlout look like that.

Damn, what look? What I’ve seen on his face is always the same! Nothing more!

But as I calmed down, I wondered how Severus Snape managed to raise only one eyebrow.

——To be continued

[batgirl-87]

Not Today

Summary: After angrily storming out of Defense Against the Dark Arts class and the library during a study session, experiencing an outburst of rage during Quidditch practice, snapping coldly at Madam Rakepick, and then being found having a breakdown, the gang is very concerned about their normally strong, composed friend and her hostile, emotional change in demeanor. 

Word Count: ~20k

Genre/Warnings: Angst, a little Fluff at the end, Swearing?

Note: I’m not actually sure what genre this is but I guess angst works? A little fluff moment with Charlie at the end, lots of caring and concerned friends, some protective Rowan, and an anxious, stressed out Bill. This ended up being much, much, MUCH longer than originally planned (honestly, the ending became a lot longer than originally planned). I had a lot of feelings! (*insert ‘I just have a lot of feelings* gif from Mean Girls*) So this is more like an emotional venting story, not my best work, but it needed to be done. I also got weirdly into untranslatable words so… enjoy those =p Again, still in Fourth Year in the game even though this story is based on Fifth Year so I apologize for any inconsistencies or errors. – I started writing this before the Halloween event in the game and was already working on the ending when the event started; did add a couple references.

Soundtrack Suggestions: Honestly, I can’t think of any particular songs, I wrote this in a sort of emotional fit of rage, music not necessary, so listen to anything that makes you feel like screaming out in anger and breaking things and then crumble to the ground as a sobbing mess.

Preview: “There are much more difficult things to face and overcome than some cursed artifact or dark wizard. Some things you can never overcome and have to figure out how to cope with every day for the rest of your life. So you can’t stand up there and preach to all of us like you’ve seen it all and overcame it all, like it’s so easy to do, and you just know it all because you don’t! You have no idea how hard it is! And for you to make others who have to endure their challenge every day, who can’t just cast a spell and be rid of it, whose challenge is more about how horribly others treat them because of who they are instead of their actual struggle, feel worse about themselves is wrong. It’s harmful towards individuals and society. You are adding to the narrative and stereotypes, enabling the ignorant hatred and violence, permitting others to turn against people, some good people, who need understanding, compassion, and help. So you and everyone else can shut the fuck up about things you don’t understand because you have no idea, no idea, what real struggle and bravery and strength is.”

The students filed into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom looking somewhat sluggish and tired, probably because it was a Monday. They slumped into their desks and took out their required textbook and parchment filled notebooks to take notes on. Keira appeared to be in a particularly down mood today, not that it wasn’t uncommon for her to suddenly fall into a depressing mood when the gravity of her overwhelming situation would abruptly hit her, but this was different. And if anyone had been keeping track of this occurrence they might have discovered a pattern.

“Good afternoon class.” At Madam – er – Professor Rakepick’s voice signaling the start of class, any chatting between the students came to a sudden halt and everyone seemed to sit up straighter at their desks.

“Today I thought it fitting for us to cover one of the most dangerous beasts in the Wizarding world – Werewolves.” Professor Rakepick’s announcement of today’s lesson intrigued a majority of the class, including one Miss Penny Haywood. The popular Hufflepuff’s attention was instantly hooked and, while at first she seemed to pale and appear anxious, she quickly flipped open her book, eager to begin the lesson viewing this as an important learning opportunity. As long as there would be no actual werewolves. Keira, on the other hand, instantly tensed up at the mention of today’s lesson and apprehensively opened up her textbook.

The lesson began generally enough, Professor Rakepick going over common knowledge just in case anyone, probably assuming those muggle born, was unaware of basic facts on werewolves such as the distinctions between a werewolf and regular wolf, a werewolf’s inability to choose whether or not to transform, their inability to remember anything of their former human self when transformed, the falsehood in the muggle world of werewolves being negatively affected by silver, and on the lycanthropy infection that causes it.

Penny diligently took notes on everything Professor Rakepick said even if she was already well aware of the information. Keira couldn’t blame her. She understood Penny endured a traumatic experience with a werewolf and was determined to not allow herself or anyone else she cared about to fall victim to another one. The Slytherin, on the other hand, had yet to take a single mark on her parchment, not even a doodle.

“No, werewolves cannot pass on their lycanthropy to their children,” Professor Rakepick answered a student’s question, appearing a bit annoyed that her lecture was being interrupted, before motioning, albeit rather exasperatedly, to another student whose hand was raised.

“Is there no cure for it?” Professor Rakepick gave a condescending smirk before answering their question.

“No, there is no cure for lycanthropy. However, there is a potion, Wolfsbane Potion, which has proven to allow a werewolf to retain their human mind while transformed which has helped reduce werewolf attacks. It is a very difficult, complicated, and quite expensive to make and very dangerous, even deadly, if made incorrectly,” she added before continuing on with her lecture assuming there would be no more questions interrupting her.

Oh yes, Wolfsbane Potion. Keira remembered asking Professor Snape about it one time in Potions class which of course earned her a glaring look from her Head of House and a comment dripping in disdain. No, they would not be learning that lesson in that class or any other class of his. And she would be a fool to try and attempt it on her own because she would fail miserably and concoct a dangerous poison instead. Why was she interested in that particular potion anyway?

Keira couldn’t remember exactly what excuse she gave him, possibly relating to Penny since Penny was a potion master and always working to advance her technique or create her own potions, and Snape had a soft spot for her so Keira figured dropping Penny’s name couldn’t hurt. Regardless, he dropped it and moved on to the lesson for the day and Keira was incredibly disappointed to discover they would not be learning Wolfsbane Potion then or ever.

She had thought about trying to make it herself but Snape didn’t lie about it being an advanced potion. The ingredients were expensive, sure, but that didn’t faze her at all. And yes, there was a risk buying those particular ingredients since it could alert others to a werewolf’s identity but being a Slytherin and member of the infamous House of Black had its advantages including connections to shady wizards who sold a variety of items secretly including rare potion ingredients. Plus she could always “borrow” some ingredients from Snape – it wouldn’t be the first time nor the last for that. But even if she got the ingredients the risk of messing it up was high.

She had considered asking Penny for her help, who better to help make a potion than her best friend the potions master? But Penny wasn’t stupid, and Keira did not, could not, answer her questions about why she needed this potion. And Penny clearly had her own, personal feelings towards werewolves which could easily cause her to refuse her help. Plus she already asked so much of her friends with finding the Cursed Vaults and this was another personal thing she didn’t want to get them involved in. She had even considered finding someone to pay to make the potion for her, most likely the same type of shady character who would sell the ingredients covertly, but she couldn’t trust someone else to make this type of potion.

No, she would figure this out on her own.

“Werewolves are often shunned and discriminated against in Wizarding society and most believe they are evil creatures who deserve nothing short of death. I’ll let you form your own opinions on them. But I can tell you first hand, facing off against these beasts is a true test of one’s abilities. They are dangerous, murderous, and have killed many wizards, witches, and even muggles,” Professor Rakepick warned causing some student’s to look up fearfully at her.

Keira, on the other hand, simply narrowed her eyes at the Professor. She was quickly growing over this lesson and hoped class was almost over.

Unfortunately, class was nowhere near being over and once Professor Rakepick finished her lesson and warning on how dangerous werewolves were she brought out a practice dummy to demonstrate some defensive and attack spells they could use on a werewolf if they were ever ill-fated to encounter one. Alright, Keira could admit there were absolutely dangerous werewolves out there – she could think of one in particular – and true, they should learn how to defend themselves against one if necessary. However, some of these violent attacks and the overall aggressive attitude of this lesson was starting to wear on her. And honestly, today of all days, she had little patience and tolerance and understanding.

Once she finished her demonstration, Professor Rakepick called the students to come up and form a line to practice the spells she just showed them on the practice dummy. Penny put on a determined face and practically raced up to the front of the classroom. Fortunately it was a basic practice dummy and not one that appeared like an actual werewolf or maybe her attitude would have been different.

And on any other day Keira would admire Penny’s eagerness and bravery to face what happened to her head on and with full dedication, no fear or hesitancy. Keira normally was so proud of Penny’s remarkable ability at coping with her trauma.

But not today.

Today she did not find Penny’s eagerness to learn all she could about werewolves and how to defeat them admirable. She found nothing amusing about the jokes other students made on the topic of today’s lesson. She did not find any of Rakepick’s self-proclaimed daring adventures fighting off werewolves brave or remarkable. And she had nothing but contempt and revulsion at any comments about killing werewolves even if they were directed at a practice dummy.

Yes, there were evil werewolves out there who caused a great deal of harm to others and she planned on ridding the world of a particular one herself one day.

But today…

Today’s lesson and her fellow student’s reaction to it filled her with anger, made her want to cry, and caused her to feel sick to her stomach.

Maybe if this lesson fell on another day, any other day, she wouldn’t feel so strongly. But the lesson had to fall on today and she was not prepared to handle it.

So while the rest of the students made their way up to the front of the class to attack the practice dummy they were supposed to imagine was a werewolf, Keira slammed her textbook shut, shoved her school supplies in her bag, and stood up quickly bumping into her desk and causing it to jolt forward a few inches and slam back down onto the floor. This sudden noise caused the other students and her Professor to look in her direction but Keira showed no signs of acknowledging their attention nor caring about it as she slung her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the classroom.

She was done.

If she had bothered to look at the front of the classroom she would have noticed the concerned and quizzical looks on her friends’ faces, particularly the dragon obsessed Gryffindor who watched her closely with furrowed brows and searching eyes full of worry.

Keira marched down the labyrinth of hallways and staircases that made up Hogwarts, muttering to herself under her breath at the complete and utter connerie of that lesson, the audacity of Professor Rakepick and those students making their ignorant comments and vicious attacks on the attack dummy. Who did they think they were? They didn’t know anything!

“Miss Black.” Keira stopped dead in her tracks and whirled around when she heard her name called by stern yet gentle voice – she knew really of only one person who could master that type of tone.

“Y-yes, Professor McGonagall,” Keira stammered nervously as it just dawned on her that she was technically skipping class and now had been caught doing so. She was thankful, however, that it was by Professor McGonagall and not Professor Snape.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class? Defense Against the Dark Arts I believe,” Professor McGonagall questioned the young girl who resisted squirming under the powerful witch’s intense gaze.

“W-well, yes, technically I am –“ Keira started, averting her eyes and focusing them on the floor beneath them.

“So then why are you wandering the hallways instead of attending your class,” Professor McGonagall continued her questioning, clasping her hands in front of her.

Keira shifted uncomfortably as she felt the Transfiguration Professor maintain her intense gaze on her, trying to think of how to answer her. “I just… I didn’t exactly agree with today’s lesson,” she eventually replied after what felt like an eternity to her under the close watch of the Gryffindor Head of House. It wasn’t a lie! She couldn’t lie to Professor McGonagall!

“You didn’t agree with the lesson,” Professor McGonagall repeated, astonished by the Slytherin’s reply. She had to admit she was not expecting that answer.

“No, I did not agree with it,” Keira declared adamantly, looking up at the Transfiguration Professor with a sudden conviction and a fiery look in her eyes.

Professor McGonagall studied the tenacious Slytherin. No other students had appeared to have stormed out of the classroom so it could not have been that controversial of a lesson. And she was well aware some lessons, particularly those in regards to the Dark Arts could upset some of their more sensitive students but Keira wasn’t normally one to allow her emotions to get the better of her like this.

“May I ask what this unbearable lesson was, exactly,” Professor McGonagall finally asked, partially she admitted out of her own curiosity. What lesson could have sent this student in particular who dealt with so much, carried so much with them, on a daily basis to finally reach her breaking point? And what if this was a lesson that needed to be examined upon closer inspection and have necessary changes made to it?

Keira’s sudden relentless and bold attitude wavered at the Professor’s next question. “… It was on werewolves, ma’am,” she answered quietly, her gaze once against shifting down to the floor.

Oh here it came. All the questions about why this lesson of all the lessons upset her? Upset her so much it caused her to walk out of class. And then a lecture on the importance of the lessons they learned there at Hogwarts and while some may be difficult or even scary to some they had to learn them. And then she would be forced back into that class. The embarrassment of being ushered back in after her somewhat dramatic exit would just be the icing on the cake to this horrible day today was turning out to be.

But the series of questioning and matter-of-fact lecture that disregarded one’s feelings never came.

Instead Professor McGonagall’s eyes softened for a moment, full of understanding and perhaps even some nostalgia, at Keira’s honest reply. “Well, we can’t have you aimlessly wandering the hallways during class time. Come along,” she said as she glided past the Slytherin to continue down the hall towards her classroom. “It’s been awhile since we’ve had one of your private Transfiguration lessons.”

Keira watched the poised Professor curiously. “What?”

“You should be learning something,” Professor McGonagall stated before motioning towards the open door to her classroom. Once the shock wore off over McGonagall’s kind and generous reaction to her confession of ditching class, Keira grinned and hurried into the Transfiguration classroom. Maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all.

“Very good, Miss Black,” Professor McGonagall praised as the young Slytherin bonded a couple books together.

“Thank you, Professor,” Keira replied before undoing her transfiguration spell. “I appreciate you taking the time to teach me like this.”

“I am a Professor, Miss Black. It is my job to teach. And when I see promising young students like yourself, providing individual private lessons is a pleasure,” Professor McGonagall replied with a kind smile. Keira smiled back at her before attempting to cast Epoximise again. Her attitude had drastically changed from earlier. She had forgotten about being angry and resentful and was enjoying learning a new lesson with a Professor who understood how she felt better than most, if anyone else, at Hogwarts.

“You know, Sirius and his friends were quite skilled at Transfigurations as well,” Professor McGonagall casually mentioned, although there really was nothing casual about it.

Keira paused in her practicing and looked up at her Professor curiously. “Yeah?”

At her gentle prodding Professor McGonagall continued, explaining what she meant further. Alright, sure, she admitted Sirius and his friends tended to get into some trouble but their skills in Transfigurations and other areas of magic were noteworthy. “The only thing more remarkable than their ability to use their impressive magical talents to consistently get into trouble was their unwavering loyal friendship. Which was especially beneficial for Mr. Lupin who always appeared to be a bit of a loner until them. He really seemed to open up, come into his own with them – happier.” A sad smile formed on the distinguished Professor’s face which Keira mirrored.

“You know, it’s good to hear someone speak about them in a positive way,” Keira said after a moment before letting out a hollow chuckle. “Professor Snape only condemns me for my relationship to them.”

“Yes, well Sev- Professor Snape never got along well with them,” Professor McGonagall recalled with a nod of her head.

“Yeah, that’s been made pretty clear,” Keira muttered.

While she thought this topic may prove to be somewhat therapeutic for the Slytherin, Professor McGonagall had to admit she enjoyed reminiscing for a bit with Keira despite the bittersweet subject. And Keira greatly appreciated Professor McGonagall talking to her about it.

“Here’s a list of some books I recommend you read to advance your talents in Transfigurations, if you’re interested. I may even be willing to provide some extra credit if you write a particularly compelling essay on what you learn from them. And if you promise to go straight to the library, no detours, and get straight to work I will let you go,” Professor McGonagall negotiated as she handed her student a piece of parchment with her book suggestions.

“I promise. Straight to the library to quietly read these,” Keira assured her, holding up the list. “I won’t cause anyone any trouble,” she added.

Professor McGonagall smiled warmly down at the Slytherin and nodded her head to silently permit her to leave despite it still being class time for her. Keira thanked her again, and again and again – for everything. For giving her a private lesson and recommending books for her to advance her skills, investing in her and encouraging her, and most importantly talking to her about Sirius and Remus and their time as students which helped her feel closer to her family, one she barely knew. She appreciated McGonagall being there for her.

Keira hurried to the library without any detours, as promised, in a much better mood form earlier. She honestly had forgotten about that class and how it made her feel. Forgot that she was even ditching it!

She wandered up and down the many aisles of books, locating the ones Professor McGonagall suggested for her. She balanced the list on top of the small stack of books she carried in her arms as she now hunted for a spot to sit. The library had been filled recently by Seventh Years preparing for their N.E.W.T.s. Funny, she couldn’t remember other Seventh Year students taking up most of the library any other year.

And speaking of Seventh Years…

Keira’s grey eyes landed on a familiar redhead sitting at the end of one of the tables who looked uncharacteristically anxious with his head in his hands as his eyes frantically scanned one of the many open books laid out in front of him. Oh the poor boy… Keira laughed slightly to herself and shook her head before making her way over to the stressed out eldest Weasley.

“Mind if I join you,” Keira asked quietly as she pulled out a chair for herself. Bill’s head whipped up from his intensive studying to look up at her.

“What? Yeah, sure,” Bill replied frenetically, motioning to the chair she had already pulled out for herself.

Keira frowned slightly as she set her armful of books down on the table and slid her bag off her shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“What,” Bill asked again, whipping his head back up once again from the books that continually absorbed all his attention. “Y-yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just studying for my N.E.W.T.s you know, and it’s exhausting! I mean, if it’s this exhausting just studying for them imagine how exhausting it will be taking them!” Bill laughed a bit hysterically as he leaned back in his chair, running his fingers through his hair look positively mad.

Keira stared at him as she set her bag on the ground next to her and took a seat next to the exhausted and somewhat crazed Gryffindor. “…When’s the last time you got some sleep?”

“Sleep? Sleep,” he repeated, growing louder and earning a harsh SHUSH from Madam Pince and some other students in the library studying for their own N.E.W.T.s. “I can’t afford sleep right now,” Bill informed her matter-of-factly in a stern whisper.

“Okay…” Keira replied, grabbing one of the books Professor McGonagall suggested for her. ”Someone needs to drink some Draught of Peace,” she muttered under her breath.

“What,” Bill demanded, giving her a harsh look. What did she just say?!

Uh oh… Quickly, think of a way out of this! “…You can borrow some of my books on Transfigurations if you want. Professor McGonagall recommended them personally,” she offered gently. Crazed, sleep-deprived, anxious Bill scared her.

“Yeah,” Bill asked, eyeing the small stack of books on the table seeming to calm down for the moment. “Thanks.” Keira nodded her head as she watched him closely.

“Will, I’m worried about you,” she confessed.

Bill took a deep breath before replying. “I’m fine, really. I just… I need to do well on these exams so I can become a Curse-Breaker,” he explained, sounding more like his composed self.

“Yeah, not everyone can be skilled enough to break their first curse at age eleven and secure themselves a job before taking their exams. I probably don’t even need to take the N.E.W.T.s. Could just leave school, walk right into Gringotts and inform them that I’m their new Curse-Breaker and they’d be like ‘alright’.” Keira’s teasing reply earned a small smirk from the eldest Weasley.

“No, unfortunately we cannot all be blessed like you,” Bill replied sarcastically, Keira smirking at him now. There was the William she knew and loved.

“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be in class right now,” Bill suddenly asked causing Keira to tense up slightly. Oh crap, busted again!

“Oh well I… I wasn’t feeling well so I left. Then I ran into Professor McGonagall and she helped me feel better. And then she gave me this list of books she thought I should read to help me advance my Transfigurations skills. And now I share them with you,” Keira replied, passing him one of her books.

“Thanks,” Bill said as he watched her closely. He suspected something more was up but these N.E.W.T.s were constantly stealing his focus. He figured if she or Charlie or anyone else really needed him they would be more direct about it.

The two fell silent as Bill resumed his exhaustive studying and Keira flipped open one of the books suggested to her and began reading. During their quiet studying session Bill let out a frustrated groan and slumped in his seat. Upon further investigation by Keira it was determined the source of Bill’s frustration was Ancient Runes. She slid the book that had currently captured Bill’s attention over so she could take a better look at it before offering her help.

“What about your own stuff,” Bill asked in a defeated tone, motioning to her books on Transfigurations.

“I can read those whenever,” Keira assured, waving off at her books on the table. “Besides, you always help me with Arithmancy,” she pointed out. Oh no, what would she do when he graduated and was no longer there to help her with her Arithmancy?! Her eyes widened as that realization dawned on her.

“Don’t worry, you can always owl me when you need help with your Arithmancy,” Bill assured her, understanding exactly what that look on her face meant.

“I can owl you my homework and you’ll do it for me,” Keira asked with an impish grin.

“That’s not what I sai-“

“Thank you, Will,” Keira cried out joyously as she leaned over to wrap her arms around the Gryffindor prefect and hug him tightly, earning a couple shushes from other students around them but she paid them no mind.

“Okay, alright. Let’s just focus on Ancient Runes for right now,” Bill suggested, patting one of her arms that was snuggly around him a couple times. Keira slowly released the eldest Weasley and began to help him with his studies on Ancient Runes.

So maybe the day had a rough start but it was a thousand times better now. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all…

Soon enough some familiar faces joined them for their study session in the library once their class let out. Penny plopped down in the chair next to Keira, Rowan begrudgingly taking the next seat over while Charlie and Barnaby made themselves comfortable on the other side of the table, the second eldest Weasley sitting next to his brother and across from formerly fuming Slytherin.

“There you are Keira. Is everything okay,” Penny asked, her voice full of concern, just like Charlie’s eyes watching her closely from across the table.

“Yeah, why,” Keira asked as she kept her eyes locked on the book in front of her, suddenly feeling more tense at their arrival. Their presence just reminded her of what she was trying to get away from.

“Because you stormed out of class in a fiery rage,” Barnaby exaggerated causing Rowan to shake her head.

“No, that wasn’t a fiery rage for her,” Rowan informed them. She had seen Keira in a rage and that was not it but she was definitely upset.

“You stormed out of class in a fit of rage,” Bill questioned, his attention suddenly grabbed from his studies. Keira could feel the lecture looming.

“N.E.W.T.s.” That was all Keira had to say for Bill’s focus to instantly go back to his studies.

“It may not have been a fit of rage but you were clearly upset.” Penny steered the conversation back to the topic they came there to discuss and Keira had to resist rolling her eyes. She could feel all of their eyes locked on her and it was close to driving her mad.

“So, why did you leave in the middle of class,” Barnaby asked gently, his voice full of concern. Keira couldn’t give a snide remark when his was genuinely worried.

“I just…wasn’t feeling well,” Keira finally answered with a shrug.

“Did you go see Madam Pomfrey,” Rowan asked. “Because if you haven’t maybe we should go to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine, Rowan, really,” Keira assured, raising up a hand to signal to her roommate to calm down and stop grabbing her things in preparation to leave. “I’m feeling a lot better,” she added, throwing a reassuring look to her friends, particularly Barnaby who she felt was mere moments away from either hugging her and never letting her go or knocking out anyone that came near her. Or both.

“Okay,” Penny replied after studying her a moment, although she didn’t sound entirely convinced, if Keira didn’t want to talk about it she wasn’t going to force her. “Well you missed quite the exciting class.”

Keira clenched her jaw at Penny’s mention of the day’s Defense Against the Dark Arts class. She couldn’t help but find it a little flippant that they were so concerned about why she left the class so upset and then went right into talking about it and all that she missed.

Her whole body grew tenser as Penny, Rowan, and Barnaby continued to discuss what she missed in class amongst themselves, excited over the new spells they learned. Penny in particular was eager to talk about today’s lesson. It was taking all of Keira’s willpower to keep from exploding at the keen Hufflepuff, from shouting at her to shut up. And to keep from snapping at Charlie to stop staring at her! She knew he was worried about her, and she appreciated it, but he had to stop just staring at her like he was waiting for her to have a breakdown or else she would have one! At least he wasn’t participating in this discussion over their Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson for the day. He even tried to steer the conversation to dragons, which was a normal occurrence, and maybe it was a bit narcissistic to think he was doing it for her, but Keira appreciated his efforts to change the topic of discussion since this one clearly upset her. And if anyone recognized what was going on with her, it would be the observant Seeker who always seemed to notice things about her and discern how she was feeling – which honestly sort of weirded her out. She wasn’t use to someone paying so much attention to her like that… Well, besides Rowan.

Alright, maybe it was not so obvious since she hadn’t said anything explicitly but she did leave class upset, which they were just concerned about a few moments ago, and her knuckles were white from gripping her book so tightly, her jaw clenched so tight she worried her teeth may shatter. Not to mention the anger and irritation wafting off of her and making their atmosphere heavy and tense.

“Would be cool to see a werewolf,” Barnaby considered, earning a slight glare from Penny that went unnoticed, fortunately, by the magical creature lover as he continued to think about what seeing a werewolf first hand would be like.

“You sound like Tonks,” Rowan laughed. Her joke seemed to only irritate Penny further and she suddenly turned her attention to the other magical creature obsessed person at the table.

“I assume you would love to run into one in the Forbidden Forest sometime too, huh?” Charlie blinked and looked over at Penny with wide, somewhat fearful eyes, finally breaking his focus from Keira at least. The normally happy and supportive Hufflepuff had such a pointed and accusatory tone it threw him, and everyone else at the table, off. Her piercing glare was also uncharacteristic for her and Charlie wasn’t really sure how to handle this new side of Penny.

Charlie quickly glanced around at the others at the table, Barnaby and Rowan looking just as shocked and thrown off as him, before looking back at the popular Hufflepuff. “I just want to find a dragon,” he awkwardly replied. Everyone knew he was obsessed with dragons. He had never mentioned werewolves once! Why was he suddenly under interrogation?

“A dragon is probably less dangerous than a werewolf,” Penny muttered. Charlie was admittedly too afraid of her at the moment to debate that.

“Werewolves are evil, despicable, abhorrent, murderous creatures. I’m glad we’re learning how to fight against them and stop them from hurting anyone else. They’re like some sort of sinister, destructive, killing epidemic that needs to be extinguished.” Penny’s passionate speech left everyone at the table in silence.

It was unknown how many knew of Penny’s traumatizing experience with a werewolf. Keira suspected she was the only one which made her powerful declaration more shocking to the rest of those at the table; well, except for maybe Bill who was still absorbed into his studies. Barnaby and Rowan stared at the fired-up Hufflepuff with wide eyes while Charlie shifted uncomfortably in his seat and averted his gaze from the intense one of the blonde across the table.

On any other day, Keira would have been more understanding and compassionate towards Penny and her circumstances. She knew what Penny had gone through, what she had lost because of a vicious werewolf attack. As far as she knew she was the only one who knew what Penny went through. Which required her to more supportive for her Hufflepuff friend. And on any other day she would have let Penny’s impassioned speech roll off her back, understanding it was specifically about the situation Penny unfortunately experienced and all the emotions she constantly kept bottled up inside over losing someone close to her – and Keira knew a thing or two about keeping emotions bottled up – and not take it personally.

But not today.

Today Penny’s emotional opinions on werewolves that led her to speak out against them made Keira’s blood boil. It took every ounce of self-control Keira had to keep from flipping the table over, smacking Penny in the face with her book, and blowing up with her own passionate speech about how wrong Penny was and despite her own personal experience it wasn’t universal and her views were ignorant and harmful.

No, she couldn’t trust herself to stay there. The longer she sat there the angrier she got. And the angrier she got the less she was able to control her wrath.

Keira slammed her book shut and stood up abruptly, her chair scooting back, scrapping loudly against the hardwood floors. Her actions earned her a harsh glare from Madam Pince but no loud shushing, possibly from the intense rage and fury rolling off of her in waves tarnishing the entire atmosphere in the library. Her abrupt actions also caused all her friends to stare up at her with wide, somewhat frightened eyes.

“…Keira,” Penny started carefully, the concern from earlier back in her voice. The concern for her back in all her friends’ eyes. She could feel it. And she appreciated it, she did. But right now she could not handle it, handle everything she was feeling right now, and had to get away.

“I have Quidditch practice,” Keira curtly replied as she swung her bag over her shoulder and piled her books in her arms before storming now out of the library. Was this her new thing? Storming out of every room in Hogwarts?

She could feel her friends’ eyes on her as she quickly made her leave. She knew they were worried about her, and again she appreciated it, but for now she prayed they did not follow her and hoped they would eventually forget about all of this so she wouldn’t have to talk about it.

Her friends shared a look between them once Keira left the library, full of questions and worry although no one dared to speak yet while the tense, hostile atmosphere lingered.

That is, until Barnaby gasped suddenly. “Oh! That means I have Quidditch practice too!” In classic Barnaby style, his comment eased the tension and instantly lightened the mood. He grabbed his bag as he stood up to head off to practice as well before Charlie’s voice caused him to pause.

“Hey, uh… make sure she’s okay… Okay?” Barnaby studied the troubled Gryffindor a moment before smiling at his fellow magical creature enthusiast.

“Of course. Once she hits some Bludgers around she’ll feel much better,” Barnaby assured before waving at his friends as he took his leave as well. That normally proved to be therapeutic for her in the past anyways.

Keira walked out of the Quidditch Changing Room and out onto the Pitch after changing into her gear. She preferred using the actual Quidditch Pitch for practices rather than the Training Pitch since the Quidditch Pitch is where matches were actually held and she felt practicing there better prepared her team for a game. She understood the Training Pitch opted for better privacy from any spies since the Quidditch Pitch was surrounded by spectator stands but it also lacked goal hoops which Keira, and most Quidditch captains, found useless. And this being her first year as Quidditch Captain for the Slytherin team, she wanted to give them every advantage.

Fortunately she was on good terms with Charlie and Andre so she wasn’t too concerned about anyone from Gryffindor or Ravenclaw spying on their practices and Hufflepuffs were too honest to do so, right? Although, sometimes she did suspect Andre might take an interest in watching her team’s practice since they tended to get quite competitive with each other over Quidditch.

Most of her team were already gathered around on the field chatting away. They had been going over some new strategies lately that were still written on the board in their Changing Rooms so they were able to refresh their memory before heading out for practice without having a team meeting beforehand to go over it all again. Keira swapped hands holding her broom to adjust one of her arm guards.

Her Quidditch broom was the first big purchase Keira bought on her own that wasn’t necessary school supplies. She knew her adopted parents were not very keen on her getting a broom but she bought it on her own! However, she understood their concern since what happened with Jacob so she agreed to compromise and promised to only use her broom for Quidditch related things like practices and games and the rest of the time Madam Hooch would keep her broom locked up safely. Sometimes it really irked Keira she couldn’t have her broom that she paid for herself, such as last year when she needed to get into the Forbidden Forest, but she did her best to see things from their perspective and be understanding towards their feelings on the matter.

Barnaby soon came trotting out of the Changing Rooms, hopping awkwardly as he held his Beater bat under one arm while he tried to secure one of his shin guards. “I’m here! I’m here,” he called since it appeared like the entire team was out there ready to go and waiting on him.

“Barnabas,” Keira called out to him with a slight sigh. “Your broom.”

Barnaby paused, balancing on one leg as he looked up at his Captain when she called out to him, taking a moment to process what she meant. “Oh yeah!” He turned to quickly head back into the Changing Rooms, muttering some curses as the shin guard he had been working on fell half off, the top not being securely fastened. It made for quite the sight of him awkwardly running with it hanging off his leg that even Keira in her foul mood couldn’t fight off a smile. Soon he returned from the Changing Rooms, broom and bat in hand and shin guard securely on.

Now that everyone was ready with their brooms and equipment securely fastened, the Slytherin team got on their brooms and took to the skies for practice. While normally hitting Bludgers proved to be very therapeutic for her and allowed her to get out her frustrations and stress in a healthy manner, and also kept her from fighting or threatening to fight her peers – her and Barnaby were quite the pair – this time Keira could not shake off this bad mood she was in. But it kept her from flipping table in the library and smacking Penny in the face with a book which she would have definitely regretted so guess it was helping in its own way. She still was incredibly upset though.

“Okay, let’s take a break!” After calling out to her team, Keira landed on the ground with the rest of the Slytherin Quidditch team for a brief break to rehydrate.

“Listen, these are some great new formations and all but I think we should be working on making our plays more aggressive,” one of the Chasers suggested.

“Aggressive but nothing illegal, right,” Keira asked, eyeing their teammate who gave her a wicked smirk and shrugged.

“It’s not illegal if you don’t get caught.” Keira sighed and shook her head. Stereotypical Slytherin.

“I’m all for being aggressive but I will not condone reckless and dangerous tactics that are focused on injuring others on purpose,” Keira declared sternly.

“I never said the intent was injuring them. But if they get hurt, well, Quidditch is a tough sport. Got to plan for getting hurt.” Keira sighed again while a couple of her teammates chuckled. What was with people today? Or maybe it was just her and her disgruntled mood.

“Hey, heard you stormed out of Defense Against the Dark Arts today,” their Seeker mentioned casually.

“So,” Keira asked, instantly defensive.

“So… why did you do that,” their Seeker asked before their Keeper chimed in.

“Yeah, I mean if you’re going to ditch class you don’t go and then walk out, you just don’t go.” Keira sighed heavily. Word travelled so fast at this school.

“I heard you also stormed out of the library before practice,” another one of her Chasers added before Keira had the chance to answer her Seeker’s question.

“I heard you were mad at Penny Haywood,” their third Chaser chimed in. Well guess Keira should be happy for once the rumors swirling about her weren’t about her being mad like her brother.

“You’re fighting with Penny Haywood,” the second Chaser gasped. “How can you not get along with Penny? She literally gets along with everyone. Everyone. Even Liz who only talks to animals and that weird loner Ravenclaw. What’s his name? Trevor?”

“It’s Talbott,” Keira snapped slightly. “And I’m not fighting with Penny,” she clarified.

“That’s good because the whole school would turn against you. Everyone loves Penny,” her third Chaser informed her, as if she didn’t know. And Keira did love Penny! She considered her one of her best friends!

“Well I don���t know if you had the same lesson we did, but if so, you missed a cool Defense Against the Dark Arts class,” her Keeper informed her while her two Chasers continued to ramble on about Penny and her popularity.

“We learned about werewolves and how to fight them –“

“Who could possibly have a problem with Penny?”

“I don’t know. It wouldn’t be wise to start anything with her though since she has the whole school on her side –“

“I think Blatching could easily be done – Whoops, didn’t mean to collide into them –“

“So then why did you storm out of the library then?”

“And why are people saying it was because of Penny?”

“David blasted the practice dummy so hard it almost slammed against the wall. Feel bad for any werewolf that crosses him.”

“Are we allowed to elbow an opponent in the face? What if we did it “accidentally”?”

“Are you sure you’re not in a fight with Penny?”

Everyone on her team incessantly talking over one another was beginning to be a bit of a sensory overload and definitely overwhelmingly frustrating.

Instead of Quidditch being a healthy way for her to cope with everything going on in her life it was becoming an added stressor to it. She had hoped practice would help take her mind off of everything going on that day and instead she was getting bombarded by everyone about it!

While any other day Quidditch helped her release her pet up aggression clearly it was not working,

Not today.

Keira suddenly let out a loud, frustrated yell before taking her bat and hitting it aggressively, repeatedly against one of the goal hoops poles as hard as she could. This proved to be much more therapeutic than hitting the Bludgers around. Bonus – it caused everyone on her team to shut up and stare at her with wide, terrified eyes.

Barnaby in particular was affected by Keira’s little outburst of rage. He had seen her hit a Bludger with a lot of force and bark orders as Captain, and he had seen her defend her friends against any bullying but this – this was a side of Keria he had never really seen before. She had snapped!

She normally was able to hold everything together despite what she was going through and was always the ones her friends turned to and relied on for support and reassurance. Even when she got angry over someone teasing one of her friends she never reacted so violently and full of fury. Rowan had told the rest of their gang before about her roommate’s breakdowns, either a sobbing mess or a raging fire, but none of them had ever seen it before. Sure, they sometimes caught her getting a little emotional, a little teary-eyed, but Barnaby never expected her to suddenly snap and attack like that. Fortunately it was the goal hoop and not a person.

Regardless, this angry outburst caused her Beater Buddy to be much more concerned over her and her mental health. He had really thought practice and hitting Bludgers around would fix things like it normally did. But clearly something much more was going on and he had no idea what and, therefore, no idea how to make it better!

After beating on the goal hoop post for a couple minutes while her teammates stared in silent shock, Keira gave the post one more solid hit before throwing her Beater bat behind her with such force all her teammates had to duck to avoid getting smacked in the face with it, their Keeper reaching up to make the save – as they should – and caught it before it flew too far.

“Practice is over,” Keira informed them coldly before grabbing her broom and storming off the Quidditch Pitch and back into the Changing Rooms.

So guess this angry, storming out move was becoming her new thing after all.

Her team watched her go before sharing looks between them. Was she serious? No more practice for the day? Barnaby snatched Keira’s bat out of the Keeper’s hand to return to her, although he thought he should wait until she calmed down a bit first.

Keira did her best to avoid people the rest of the day. She thanked Barnaby for returning her bat to her in the Slytherin Common Room after the Quidditch practice incident. She then had to spend the next ten minutes assuring him she was fine and no she did not want to talk about what happened! But she appreciated his concern. She would feel better tomorrow. Probably. Hopefully.

Keira skipped dinner that evening in the Great Hall which left her friends to try and decipher what was going on with her with the added information Barnaby provided them about what happened during Quidditch Practice.

“She attacked the goal post,” Penny repeated in surprise, trying to imagine it.

“Then she almost took us all out when she threw the bat,” Barnaby added, looking down as he recounted their practice’s events. He was clearly struggling with some inner turmoil himself. “I tried asking her what was wrong and how I could help after practice but she just kept saying she was fine.” How was he supposed to help his friend who was obviously going through something when they didn’t tell him what was wrong?!

“I told you guys she has these rage meltdowns!” Rowan sounded as if she was scolding them all which she sort of was, and did on a regular basis. As Keira’s roommate she was the only one who saw how much Keira was suffering. While she was able to put on a brave face in front of everyone else on a day to day basis, Rowan knew how hard this all was on her. And while Rowan did her best to comfort her friend, and she may not freely admit this but she liked comforting her friend during these moments and being needed, she did try and inform the rest of their group of friends when Keira was having a harder time than others so they could aid in making her feel better and not ask so much of her during those times.

And while their friends agreed to do that, they did not truly understand how much Keira was struggling. Not like Rowan who witnessed it firsthand. Hence, when they always turned to Keira for help with… well, basically everything, needing her reassurance to help her find her brother after offering their help, Rowan couldn’t help but get frustrated with them.

Did they forget that Keira’s brother was missing and could be dead? Did they not fully grasp how hard it was to go looking for your brother, while everyone around you talked about how crazy he was, how he might be a Death Eater, or dead, while trying to save the school from curses, and on top of all that having her life being threatened?! Besides the stress of the Cursed-Vaults and her missing brother, Keira was a Prefect and Quidditch Captain which added more responsibilities to her plate, and had to go to class, do homework, and study for exams, just like the rest of them! Dumbledore, Hagrid, Madam Rosmerta, House Ghosts, other students, and some Professors all asked Keira to help them with something like she didn’t already have enough to deal with! Rowan would smack all these people if she could!

Sometimes she wished the rest of their friends would witness Keira having a breakdown so they would better understand what was going on inside their friend all the time. But, and again she would not freely admit this, Rowan kind of liked being the only one who witnessed Keira’s breakdowns and being the only one there for her best friend during those dark times – like they had a special bond the others didn’t.

“That one wasn’t even that bad. She’s had much worse,” Rowan informed them before taking a bite of her sandwich.

“Well, what do you think is wrong then,” Penny asked, a little snippy at Rowan’s know-it-all attitude. When it was about course work she didn’t mind it but when came to their friend she did not appreciate it being hinted that the rest of them didn’t know or care as much about Keira as she did.

“I don’t know but I can talk to her tonight during Astronomy and see if I can find anything out,” Rowan offered, ignoring Penny’s slightly harsh tone.

“Or, maybe we can go and try to talk to her after dinner,” Penny countered. They were all her friends and they all were concerned about her.

“Guess we could do that too. I just thought maybe going in as a group may put her on the defensive is all,” Rowan reasoned.

“Well then maybe just you and I go then,” Penny bartered, quick with her reply.

“…Okay,” Rowan conceded with a shrug.

“Barnaby, are you okay,” Penny asked the hunched over Slytherin who looked like he was on the verge of tears.

“I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do to make her feel better,” Barnaby cried out in anguish. The rest of dinner pretty much consisted of comforting Barnaby.

Keira hugged her knees to her chest as she sat on the cool ground. A light breeze sent a chill throughout her body but she had no desire to go inside. In fact she sort of welcomed and enjoyed the crisp autumn-almost-winter air. She took another deep breath as her grey eyes stared fixed on the reflection of the night sky on the surface of the Black Lake.

She knew her friends were looking for her, probably wandering all throughout Hogwarts. But she needed to be alone right now. And she hoped if they came out there looking for her they wouldn’t see her still figure sitting in the dark. Fortunately, Hogwarts and its grounds were pretty vast so if they did stumble upon her it shouldn’t be for some time. Or ever, if it was up to Keira.

Another small breeze blew a strand of her hair back, away from her face, sending another chill throughout her body. After a day of so much anger and rage coursing through her, Keira now felt drained. She felt exhausted and completely depressed. She just wanted to curl up by the fire in the Common Room, stare out into the lake, and be left alone, but she knew that wouldn’t be a possibility. Her friends had been on her all day about what was going on with her and she couldn’t escape Rowan and Barnaby in her House’s Common Room. And she felt so guilty keeping things from them and pushing them away when she saw how concerned they were and how much they wanted to help but she couldn’t talk to them about this.

So if she couldn’t stare out into the lake from her Common Room then she would come outside and enjoy it out there in the cold night air. And now, after her day of slamming books and desks, thrashing a goal hoop post, possibly throwing and breaking some things in the Slytherin Dorm while her friends were at dinner, and storming away from everyone in a fit of rage, Keira just wanted to cry.

She had tried so hard to conceal her anger, push it down so she didn’t explode, which obviously didn’t go according to plan since she had her little outbursts, but they could have been worse. She would still have some explaining to do to her friends, which she had no idea what she would say so that added another layer of stress. But she could worry about that tomorrow, that’s what she told herself anyway so she wouldn’t get overwhelmed. And now she was using what little energy she had left to hold back her tears. Although that was beginning to become quite the fail as well as a couple tears escaped her eyes and ran down her face.

Keira didn’t know how long she had been out there, but this was the most calm she had felt all day. Albeit, sad, but at least not full of unbridled rage unsure of what to do with it or how to safely let it out. She could let out her emotions presently, finally able to put down her defenses now that she was finally alone, and cry as much as she wanted without anyone around judging her or her friends panicking over her, trying to figure out what was wrong and how to help. Sometimes, a lot of times, she needed to be alone. And able to just let her emotions out without any questions or judgments or anyone trying to stop her and fix it – things were not so easy to fix!

But she wasn’t ready to let everything tormenting inside of her out just yet. She just wanted to sit there in silence, not thinking about anything and, if she could help it, not feeling anything.

She jumped and whipped her head around when she heard someone approaching from behind her. And of all the people she thought would find her out there – Rowan, Penny, Hagrid, Professor Snape – this was the last one she wanted finding her.

“Are you supposed to be out here at this hour, Miss Black?”

Keira narrowed her eyes at their new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher before slowly standing up as her professor continued.

“Not that I’m one to talk. I broke curfew all the time when I was student here,” Professor Rakepick bragged before pausing a moment as she studied the girl. “So, is this where you ran off to when you left in the middle of my class?”

“If you want to punish me for that, go ahead,” Keira replied coldly as she continued to stare out at the lake.

Professor Rakepick looked taken aback by the Slytherin’s reply but quickly wiped that look off her face. “I don’t plan on punishing you, Miss Black,” she informed her student which came as a surprise to Keira, “But I would like an explanation for that display in my class.”

“I wasn’t feeling well,” Keira answered, using the same excuse as before when her friends asked her. Which wasn’t a total lie – she didn’t feel well! She felt sick to her stomach, in fact!

“Is that so? Yet you did not go see Madam Pomfrey.” Keira could feel Professor Rakepick’s eyes boring into her but she held her ground. “I checked with her after class. After that fit you threw.” Keira tensed up, her hands fisting at her sides. That anger she had been wrestling with all day and finally thought she was rid of was beginning to boil again.

“So if you were, in fact, not feeling well, then why did you not go see Madam Pomfrey,” Professor Rakepick continued to interrogate.

“I ran into Professor McGonagall. We had a private Transfiguration lesson,” Keira informed her.

“Oh I see. So you’d rather learn Transfigurations than how to defend yourself against dark wizards and witches and evil beasts -“ Professor Rakepick stopped as she noticed Keira scoff and shake her head, and she assumed roll her eyes but the Slytherin had yet to look at her. “Well then, if that’s not what the problem is then why don’t you share what is really bothering you,” she commanded, crossing her arms.

Despite this order Keira did not reply forcing Professor Rakepick to make an assumption. “If this is something about the Cursed Vaults –“ she stopped again as Keira let out a hollow laugh.

“You know what your problem is,” Keira suddenly spoke, turning to finally face the former Head Curse-Breaker. Professor Rakepick wasn’t sure if she should be offended or intrigued at what this girl had to say.

“You think you know everything. Have seen everything. Faced it all. You’ve travelled everywhere, facing dangerous creatures and dark wizards and tombs full of traps, breaking curses on numerous artifacts which could kill you – all of this has given you a superiority complex. You walk around here like you’re better than everyone because you think you have faced every challenge life has to throw at you and conquered it, so clearly you’re the most powerful, strongest, and bravest witch there ever was.

“But you don’t know everything. And you definitely have not faced and conquered every challenge life can throw at you – not even close. You have no idea what real bravery and strength is. Real bravery and strength is getting up every day and putting yourself out there to try and make your life better even when the entire world is against you. Being kind and compassionate to others even when all they do is judge and hate you without ever getting to know you. Enduring excruciating mental and physical pain time and time again, being completely alone after losing everyone close to you, but you keep going and never let it consume you.

“There are much more difficult things to face and overcome than some cursed artifact or dark wizard. Some things you can never overcome and have to figure out how to cope with every day for the rest of your life. So you can’t stand up there and preach to all of us like you’ve seen it all and overcame it all, like it’s so easy to do, and you just know it all because you don’t! You have no idea how hard it is! And for you to make others who have to endure their challenge every day, who can’t just cast a spell and be rid of it, whose challenge is more about how horribly others treat them because of who they are instead of their actual struggle, feel worse about themselves is wrong. It’s harmful towards individuals and society. You are adding to the narrative and stereotypes, enabling the ignorant hatred and violence, permitting others to turn against people, some good people, who need understanding, compassion, and help. So you and everyone else can shut the fuck up about things you don’t understand because you have no idea, no idea, what real struggle and bravery and strength is.”

She couldn’t sit back anymore, keeping everything inside, pretending everything was okay.

Not today.

If anyone had seen him out there wandering around the castle grounds at night they would probably assume he was up to his usual dragon expedition. And if anyone had asked him what he was doing, he would probably claim that’s what he was up to. He wasn’t sure why, but he didn’t want to admit he was out there looking for her. Maybe because if he did then Penny or Rowan or one of their other friends would want to join him and if he found her he wanted to talk to her alone.

So while the rest of the gang scoured around the ever changing layout of the school, Charlie snuck outside. She may be inside, hiding out in her Dorm or an empty classroom, or maybe even at Hagrid’s or at the Quidditch Pitch. While those were all viable options, Charlie was one of the few who knew about her strong connection to water and how it helped calm her down and bring her peace, even if that meant her jumping fully clothed into the Black Lake and getting in trouble by her Head of House.

He paused when he noticed the figure sitting at the edge of the lake. He had almost completely missed her but upon getting closer realized that it was in fact her sitting there. A small smile formed on his face, perhaps a bit smug that he was the one to find her before anyone else. And he was glad that he found her before anyone else because now he could talk to her alone without Penny and Rowan’s constant questions while trying to outdo each other on support and concern in their suppressed ‘who was Keira’s best friend’ competition, and Barnaby and Tonks doing anything and everything to get her to laugh, their antics growing in ridiculousness and recklessness; and, alright he hated to admit it because he loved his older brother who was also his best friend, but without Bill swooping in with his older brother wisdom and comfort. Yes, Bill was the oldest but Charlie was an older brother too and cared just as much about his younger siblings and could provide older brother love and care too! And he cared just as much for Keira as Bill and the rest of their friends and would always be there for her just like he would be for any of his family.

As he started to make his way towards her, possibly going over what greeting to give when he approached her in his head, Charlie spotted another figure making their way down to Keira adjacent to him. Once he realized who it was as they addressed Keira he darted behind a nearby tree – he didn’t need to get detention or house points taken away, especially as a Prefect. Or get a scolding lecture by Bill. Plus, it would be rude to interrupt, right? Still, he didn’t want to leave Keira to get in trouble either. Maybe he could figure out some reason they were out there so late and save them both from punishment.

As Charlie tried to come up with an excuse as to why he and Keira would be out there in the middle of the night that would be accepted by the Curse-Breaker turned Professor the air suddenly changed. Everything suddenly got heavier, tense, colder, dark.

“You know what you’re problem is?” Charlie looked up as he heard Keira’s cutting tone towards their professor. He had never heard her speak like that before. And to a Professor nonetheless!

Charlie continued to stare in shock as Keira finally exploded after everything building up inside her through the day she tried so desperately to internalize spilled out. But this wasn’t like other times when Keira had unleashed her Irish temper on someone else, normally for bothering one of their friends or at Merula for her morbid jokes about Jacob being dead. This wasn’t like those times Rowan told them about where Keira needed to throw, hit, and break things to finally let out all her pent up anger and frustration. Those were fueled with fire, spoke with a blazing intensity, a raging fury that would cause adrenaline to course through veins and fill the air with this heated tension like a fight was about to break out. One of the reasons she was feared on the Quidditch Pitch.

But this – this was a different side of Keira, one he had never seen. It was dark and cold. Her words were still filled with passion but were made of ice and stung sharply. The heavy, biting cold change in the atmosphere differed wildly from its heated counterpart. It was more ominous, sinister, intimidating. It sent a chill down his spine. This darker side of Keira kind of terrified him. Her eyes were like piercing daggers as she stared down their Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, standing her ground firmly. Even as she shouted and swore – oh Merlin she just swore at a professor – her words were still icy and full of disdain. While her Irish temper flared up a call to action, this chilling vibe was more apathetic, like she didn’t care what happened, what the consequences were.

But he knew, under that icy, stone cold exterior and beneath the vicious ire and stinging of her words, this darker side of Keira was hiding a lot of pain. And despite fearing her a bit, being a little intimidated – which he knew she would be flattered by – mostly, Charlie felt heartbroken for her, a wave of compassion where he just wanted to be there for her, support her and allow her to feel safe to let out everything she was holding in and then reassure her and make her smile. Surprising to him, he also felt protective over her. He wanted to do whatever he could to keep her from hurting.

He knew she was suffering a lot over her missing brother, but she was so good at appearing like everything was fine, sometimes they forgot everything she was going through. And then when it showed… it killed him to see her upset. He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like if one of his siblings went missing and he had no idea where they were or if they were safe or even alive.

And seeing her upset like this, in a much different way than they had previously witnessed, and having no real knowledge of why she was so upset was agonizing. This was why Barnaby was practically in tears at dinner. If it wasn’t about her brother and the vaults, since she just snapped at Professor Rakepick about assuming it was about that – which was a fair assumption he thought! – then what was it about?

Her frosty and hostile outburst at Professor Rakepick unfortunately still did not give him a lot of clues as to what was really going on with her.

An eerie and tense silence fell once Keira finished. Charlie assumed Professor Rakepick had no idea how to respond to that since who could have predicted she would have gone off like that? And to her? Professor Trelawney would probably claim she could have but no one would believe her.

~*~*~*~*~

Much like Charlie assumed, Professor Rakepick stood there aghast at the student’s outburst. While she did her best to maintain a neutral face it was difficult to completely hide her shock.

“Um….E-excuse me?”

A meek voice interfered through the tense atmosphere causing both women to look towards where it came.

It was fortunate they were interrupted. Professor Rakepick had yet to fully process everything that was said, and how it was said, from this girl to her and therefore had yet to determine how to respond and handle the situation. Normally quick at problem solving and leaping into action, since while risking your life breaking curses one could not always afford the luxury of time to analyze a situation and think through all possible options before choosing one, this particular situation surprisingly had caught her off guard and threw her off enough that she did need a moment to step back and think about what action to take.

And for Keira, well, it delayed her from getting punished, she assumed, and took the attention off of her even if just for a moment. Even from the Gryffindor boy hiding nearby behind a tree, unknown to her and their professor, whose attention was also grabbed by the surprise appearance of another person.

Rowan stood there awkwardly, looking nervously between her best friend and Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. Both were unsure how long Rowan had been there, how much she had heard, but she looked pretty frightened and uncomfortable.

“S-sorry to interrupt,” Rowan started as both women turned their attention to her. She shifted uncomfortably under their intense gazes and avoided eye contact with either of them. “It’s um… we uh…” she stammered, fidgeting with her hands. “We have Astronomy class,” she finally managed to get out.

Professor Rakepick studied the intruder before looking back at Keira with a smirk. “Well, it looks like it’s your lucky day. You have a viable excuse to get out of this conversation.”

“I don’t need an excuse,” Keira replied in that same cold, sharp tone, turning her attention back to the red haired professor. “This wasn’t a conversation.”

Once again, Professor Rakepick wasn’t sure if she should be disrespected or impressed with how her student was speaking to her, challenging her.

“Really? Well Miss Black –“

“I have class.” Keira cut her off curtly as she waltzed right past the professor and over towards the still fearful looking Rowan. “Let’s go Rowan.”

Rowan glanced over as her roommate and best friend walked past her and continued to head back toward the school, flinching slightly at her dark tone, before looking back over at Professor Rakepick. She gave her a sheepish, apologetic smile before turning and hurrying to catch up with Keira, or at least get away from their Professor and tense atmosphere before Professor Rakepick turned her frustration on her.

Keira didn’t talk the entire way back to the school and up to the Astronomy Tower. She didn’t even complain about the stairs as she always did. Barnaby and Rowan shared concerned looks the entire walk to the Astronomy Tower and throughout class.

And while everyone looked through their telescopes and charted the stars on their charts, Keira just stood there looking up at the sky. Rowan and Barnaby glanced over worriedly at her as they worked on their class work.

“You can borrow my star chart if you need it,” Rowan offered quietly, a little nervous to experience that darker version of her friend again, especially directed at her.

Instead, however, a faint smile formed on Keira’s face as she continued to stare up at the sky. “Thanks, Rowan,” she answered softly. She clearly would need it since she wasn’t doing any work during class.

“You can borrow mine too if you want,” Barnaby offered. “I made my own constellation of a Kneazle,” he announced rather proudly.

“Very impressive, Barnaby,” Keira told him in the same soft tone as she continued to stare up at the sky. She would appreciate his constellation more later. Despite her lack of enthusiasm, Barnaby still grinned proudly at her praise.

Soon enough class was over with Keira not doing an ounce of work. “Come on, Keira. Let’s head back to the dorm,” Rowan said as she slid her mittens back on. The chilly weather alluded to winter right around the corner. “We can sit in front of the fire and get warm. I’ll make cocoa.”

“Ooo, cocoa,” Barnaby exclaimed excitedly.

“You guys go on ahead. I’ll be down later,” Keira told them, still standing in the same place and staring at the sky as she had been all through class.

“Are you sure? It’s getting pretty cold out here,” Rowan said, staring at her friend uneasily.

“I’m fine,” Keira assured. “Canadian, remember,” she added with a small smirk causing Rowan to visibly relax. There was her friend who she knew and loved.

“We can stay out here with you then,” Rowan said, glancing at Barnaby before she set her bag back down.

“No, thank you. I’d rather be alone,” Keira told them.

Rowan frowned slightly and shared another concerned look with Barnaby before hesitantly picking her bag back up. “Okay, well, if you’re sure. Don’t stay out here too long though,” Rowan gently warned her.  That glimmer of her friend being her normal self gave Rowan a sliver of hope that she was okay, or at least would be soon, and made her feel comfortable enough to leave Keira alone. Rowan motioned to Barnaby to follow her as she headed for the Astronomy Tower stairs.

A feeling of extra weight on her shoulders was the only thing that broke Keira from her trance on the sky. She looked over, surprised to see a smiling Barnaby who was laying his robes over her shoulders. “Two sets of robes should keep you warmer than one.”

Keira stared at him a moment before smiling back at him gratefully. “Thank you, Barnaby.” She was amazed she didn’t start crying right then and there. This whole time she had been fighting back tears and his sweet, thoughtful gesture almost caused her to break.

Barnaby smiled more and nodded at her before picking up his bag and hurrying after Rowan. “Don’t be too long or there won’t be any cocoa left!” It may have been something small but he was happy to see Keira smile and be able to make her feel better, even if just a little bit.

Keira watched her friends leave, a small appreciative smile on her face. However, as soon as the door shut behind them tears began to steam down her face. Finally alone and exhausted from her day of trying to hold everything in and keeping it together, and failing in emotional filled outbursts, Keira allowed herself to relinquish her emotions, crumbling to the cold, hard floor.

“It was really scary,” Rowan admitted as she finished telling Barnaby about the outburst she witnessed Keira have at Professor Rakepick.

“Wow… She’s not going to get expelled, is she,” Barnaby asked anxiously.

“I hope not. But I don’t think Professor Rakepick would do that,” Rowan assured after a brief moment of thought. “It was just…so weird seeing her like that. It wasn’t like her other breakdowns it was –“

“Darker?” Rowan and Barnaby paused outside their Common Room entrance as a familiar figure stepped out from their hiding spot – had to avoid Professor Snape!

“Yeah…What are you doing down here, Charlie” Rowan asked as she studied the Gryffindor suspiciously.

“Where’s Ady,” Charlie asked, getting straight to the point. His direct and serious attitude was very different than his usual calm and cheerful self.

“You’re a Seeker. Why don’t you find her yourself,” Rowan replied, folding her arms being the ever protective friend that she was.

“I just wanted to talk to her, make sure she was okay,” Charlie sighed. “I saw the outburst down at the lake at Professor Rakepick,” he admitted in a whisper causing Rowan’s eyes to widen.

“You did? How? Where? I didn’t see you –“

“I was behind a tree –“

“So you were spying?”

“No, I – look, that doesn’t matter. I just want to make sure she’s okay. So where is she?” Rowan continued to study the Gryffindor silently. She couldn’t help being protective over Keira. She was her first and, in a way, only friend. Sure, they had made this group but she was well aware the lynchpin that got them and held them all together was Keira. None of them would even acknowledge her existence if it wasn’t for Keira. Well, maybe Penny who befriended everyone, even the loners.

She knew she could be overprotective of Keira and become fearful of her connecting with and getting closer to others because she was afraid of losing her. So being the only close friend that was also her roommate allowed her to have a special connection with Keira by being there for her during her late night breakdowns and nightmares. And she didn’t want to lose her role as the comforting, supportive friend during those dark times. Because if someone else started doing that for her, then what would Keira need her for? That’s what Rowan feared anyway.

And while their gang liked to talk about the possible blossoming relationship between Charlie and Keira that they both seemed completely oblivious too, Rowan would be damned if she would allow a love-struck Weasley to take her place in Keira’s life!

“She’s still up on top of the Astronomy Tower,” Barnaby answered when Rowan seemed to refuse to.

“Barnaby,” Rowan scolded.

“Did she get hold up after class by Professor Sinistra,” Charlie asked, turning his attention to Barnaby who was proving to be much more helpful than Rowan!

“No. She said she wanted to be alone. Even turned down cocoa,” Barnaby informed him, earning him another glare from Rowan which he seemed oblivious to.

Charlie nodded his head as he listened to his fellow magical creature enthusiast before grinning at him and placing a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks, Barnaby.”

“Wait,” Rowan called as Charlie started to hurry down the hall, causing him to skid to a halt and look back at her quizzically. She paused a moment as she contemplated her next move before sighing and giving in. “Bring her some blankets. It’s cold.”

Charlie smiled softly at her as he hurried back over to them. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks.”

“I gave her my robes to help her keep warm,” Barnaby chimed in.

Charlie grinned at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “That was very thoughtful of you, I’m sure they’re helping a lot.”

Once Rowan returned from the Slytherin Dorm with a couple blankets piled in her arms she handed them off to Charlie, albeit a bit reluctantly. “Don’t be up there too long.”

“Yeah, you guys have to come down and have cocoa with us,” Barnaby added with a grin which was the complete opposite vibe of Rowan’s warning.

“Cocoa sounds great. I’ll do my best,” Charlie told them, thanking Rowan again for the blanket before he hurried off to the Astronomy Tower.

“Ady,” Charlie called as he entered the top of the Astronomy Tower. His eyes scanned the area before he began walking around, trying to find his friend. “Ady, are you still up here?”

Keira had slid down the parapet that surrounded the tower collapsing onto the floor, Barnaby’s robes still wrapped around her. She sat on the ground, curled up into a ball, withdrawing into herself. Her knees were pulled up to her chest with her head buried in them, her hands tangled up in her hair as she clawed at her scalp, shoving her hair out of her face, as she quietly sobbed.

Charlie stopped and stared at the heartbreaking scene before him. His chest tightened as he tried to process seeing the normally so strong and put together Keira looking utterly hopeless and defenseless. Besides probably Rowan, none of them had ever seen Keira like this. Even when Rowan told them about Keira’s breakdowns he could never really envision it. She kept so much to herself. She never wanted them to see her like this. She didn’t want Rowan to either but it was hard to hide it from her.

For a moment Charlie thought about leaving her alone and giving her her privacy. However, when he saw her shiver from the increasingly frosty air he glanced down at the blankets in his arms before daring to walk over to her.

Keira’s head jolted up when she felt another weight on her shoulders. How did this keep happening? She glanced briefly at the blanket around her shoulders before looking up at the culprit, very surprised not to see Rowan or Barnaby.

“…Charlie,” she asked, as if her eyes were playing tricks on her.

“Hey,” Charlie greeted softly, with a small warm smile.

“Wh-what are you doing up here,” Keira asked as she quickly wiped away her tears still streaming down her face.

Charlie frowned slightly as he watched her. He didn’t mean to embarrass her. “Well, I heard you turned down cocoa to stay up here so I thought I should bring you some blankets to make sure you stay warm.” He tried to lightly joke about the cocoa, throwing her a reassuring smile but unfortunately that didn’t seem to make the situation much better.

“I’m fine. It’s not that cold,” she sniffled. “And I’d prefer chocolate right now over cocoa.”

“Right, right, I know, Canadian. Still,” Charlie said handing out the other blanket to her. “And I’ll remember chocolate for next time,” he added with another grin, another attempt to get her to smile, even a little one.

Keira eyed the blanket a moment before begrudgingly taking it from him. There, was he happy now?

Apparently he was since he smiled slightly as he watched her drape the blanket over her lap, doing her best to cocoon herself in the blanket layers around her.

“There. You gave me the blankets, I’m all toasty warm now, so you can go. Go and have cocoa with the rest of them,” Keira dismissed, waving a hand at him and the staircase door as she avoided eye contact with him.

“…What about you,” Charlie asked tenderly.

Keira froze up a moment at the unexpected gentle and caring tone of his voice. Why did he have to be so sweet? Made it hard to be cold and dismissive in an attempt to push her friends away when they were so caring!

“I’m fine. I want to be alone,” she informed him, hugging the blanket around her shoulders closer to her.

Charlie nodded his head and studied her a moment, contemplating his next move before slipping his bag off over his head and sitting on the ground next to her.

“What are you doing? I said I want to be alone,” Keira snapped.

“I know but I don’t think it’s good for you to be alone right now,” Charlie answered. Keira turned her head slightly to watch the Gryffindor closely as he made himself comfortable on the floor next to her, scooting under the blankets with her, draping them over his lap and shoulders as well.

She tried to think of something to say to argue his statement but she was having a hard time coming up with anything. Probably because he may be right.

Plus the fact that the second eldest Weasley radiated warmth like his favorite creatures was comforting in its own way in the chilly night air.

Once Charlie got himself situated under the blankets he smiled warmly over at her causing Keira to glance away. Sorry, Charlie, but she was not in the mood to be smiling and happy just yet so she had to get away from his infectious grin.

“I suppose you want to talk, know what’s going on with me,” Keira muttered as she wrapped her arms around her legs, hugging her knees closer to her, her right arm brushing against him since they had to be practically pressed together to both be completely covered under the blankets.

“Only if you need to. We don’t have to talk about it you don’t want to,” Charlie assured. “Don’t have to talk at all even.” Unlike some of their other friends, like Rowan who had such a thirst for knowledge, who would want to know, need to know, what was going on to make her so upset to comfort her, Charlie just wanted to make her feel better. Sure, he would like to know what was bothering her to better help, but he wanted to be a comforting and supportive figure at all times, for anything going on with her, even things she didn’t want to discuss. Or wasn’t ready to talk about yet.

So whenever she was upset about anything she knew she could always turn to him and he would be there and wouldn’t interrogate her with a million questions. He was simply there for her in any way she needed. If she needed to talk something out, or just vent and have someone listen, have someone lighten the mood and take her mind off of things, or even someone to just have near as they sat in silence with.

They sat in silence for a while, Charlie shifting to lean back against the parapet as he stared up at the night sky.

“You probably think I’m crazy,” Keira murmured after a moment, breaking the silence.

“I don’t think you’re crazy,” Charlie assured with a small chuckle.

“I keep storming out of rooms and I’m sure Barnaby told you guys what happened at Quidditch practice,” Keira said before a realization dawned on her. “And I’m sure Rowan told you about what happened before Astronomy Class,” she groaned, sounding somewhat embarrassed.

“Oh yeah, your outburst at Professor Rakepick,” Charlie murmured, remembering it himself.

“So she did tell you about it, great,” Keira grumbled.

“Well… not exactly. I mean, I think I overhead her talking to Barnaby about it but…” Charlie watched her a moment before sighing. He didn’t want to upset her more by telling her he saw her outburst at Professor Rakepick firsthand but he also didn’t want to lie to her or make her think her friends were sitting around talking about her negatively. “I sort of…saw it. I was… kind of there,” he admitted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“What?” Keira’s head popped up off her knees before turning to face him, the first time all night she had directly looked at him that wasn’t some passing glance. Charlie was now the one avoiding eye contact as he continued to stare up at the sky trying to ignore her heated gaze on him. “What do you mean you were there? I didn’t see you!”

Oh great, déjà vu.

“I was behind a tree… I was looking for you to make sure you were okay and I found you the same time Professor Rakepick did, she was just closer. So I hid behind a tree and tried to figure out a reason why we were both outside so late so I could get us out of trouble. Before I had time to do that you sort of went off on her. I didn’t know you were going to do that!” Charlie quickly explained the situation from his point of view before she had a chance to start accusing him of being a creeper spy like Rowan did or thinking poorly of him.

“Oh my – putain de merde!” That set Keira off on another outburst but in French as she did some times when she was so overwhelmed or upset she couldn’t fathom it in English, so Charlie had no real idea what she was saying but she was flailing her hands a lot and appeared to be mortified so he could assume what she was going on about.

“Okay, okay, okay! It’s alright, I don’t think less of you or anything,” Charlie tried to reassure as he grabbed at her hands to stop them from flailing and grab her attention. He managed to finally capture her hands in his after a few failed attempts, stopping her frantic hand waving that accompanied her bi-lingual rant. He lowered their hands to their laps as she started to calm down and thankfully stopped her French rambling. His warm hands encompassing her naturally icy ones provided their own comfort and calming quality.

“It’s okay,” he said again gently, “I know you weren’t planning on having an audience or probably even planning on having that outburst – although, I must say it did sound pretty well thought out,” he complimented causing Keira to groan. Like she wasn’t embarrassed enough! “And, alright, I admit it was a little frightening, but-“ Keira let out another mortified groan and sunk her head lower, “But,” he reiterated, giving her hands a reassuring squeeze, “It was also… pretty impressive. I mean, badass. That’s what you’d like to be called, right? You stood up for what you believe. That’s what it sounded like anyway. And you stood up to Professor Rakepick which is not an easy thing to do. Well, easier than standing up to Professor Snape probably,” he laughed slightly.

“Listen, I know you’re having a hard day. We all know you’re having a hard day. And that’s okay. You don’t have to hold everything inside all the time. It’s not healthy. It’ll take a toll on you. And it’s going to find its way out in one way or another. And sometimes when you’re having a hard time you can’t help spreading that around, snapping at people… misery loves company, that’s what my mum says. And sure, you’re bound to be embarrassed by your behavior because it’s emotional and out of the norm, especially for you because, you know, you don’t really like being emotional. But we all have bad days and times when our emotions get the best of us, so we understand. I mean, you’re always there for us when we’re struggling and having a bad day and are understanding and don’t think any less of us, so why wouldn’t we do the same for you?”

Keira seemed to relax as she listened to Charlie’s reassuring words, letting them sink in as she processed them. Charlie watched her a moment before smiling encouragingly. “And, to be honest, I think she was kind of impressed with you going off on her like that. I don’t think you’re going to get in too much trouble. Maybe none at all.”

“So… you don’t think I’m crazy or irrational or whatever,” Keira asked quietly as she kept her gaze down.

“No, I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re having a hard, emotionally exhausting time and it finally burst out after you tried to hold it all in,” Charlie reassured, causing a small smile to form on Keira’s face even if only for a brief moment.

“Wow, you’re a great Prefect,” Keira told him before quickly adding after a beat, “And older brother.”

Charlie couldn’t help but beam at that compliment. “Thank you.” Take that, Bill!

“I don’t know how you and Rowan could ever look at me the same after witnessing that,” Keira admitted.

“We’re both worried about you. And, okay, maybe a little more scared of you than before but I thought you’d like that,” Charlie teased, surprised to hear a small laugh escape from Keira.

“You guys have to stop worrying about me so much,” Keira told him.

Charlie couldn’t help but scoff slightly. “Easier said than done. I care about you.” Keira looked up at him, appearing somewhat surprised by his honest and genuine declaration. Her grey eyes locking on his caused him to falter briefly. “W-we care about you. We’re you’re friends,” he added much more clumsily than his previous statement.

Keira’s eyes searched his face a moment before smiling softly. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to have such amazing, caring people in my life.”

Charlie smiled back at her, giving her hands another squeeze before the sudden realization they were still holding hands dawned on both of them and a faint blush spread across both their faces.

“Uh, well, you know, we’re your friends,” Charlie said inelegantly as they both awkwardly took their hands away from each other. He cleared his throat before continuing. “We’re your friends. We care about you. And when you care about someone you’re always there for them no matter what.”

Keira nodded her head a couple times, agreeing with his statement, before her face started to scrunch up as she tried to hold back more tears but it was in vain. Charlie tensed up as tears once again ran down Keira’s face. Those were not happy tears! Oh crap, what did he do to make her start crying again? He thought they had gotten past this and she was smiling and laughing and feeling better!

“Oh shit, I’m sorry!” Charlie panicked slightly as Keira buried her face in her hands. He didn’t know what he said or did to cause her to cry but he felt awful. He slid his arm underneath the blanket resting across their shoulders and hesitantly draped an arm around her shaking frame. He knew she wasn’t really comfortable with a lot of physical contact but in his family they were pretty tactile, physically affectionate and comforting people. Fortunately, she didn’t shrink away from him or seem to mind the physical act of comfort at all.

After a few moments Keira seemed to calm her breathing down enough to speak clearly. “No, you’re right. And I want to help, I just don’t know how,” she wept.

Charlie watched her attentively, trying to decipher what she was talking about. He felt it was safe to determine she wanted to help someone but didn’t know how to, but who she wanted to help and why she was struggling so much with what to do was a complete blank for him. Was it one of their friends? Was someone in their group having an issue they were all unaware of? Keira was normally the one everyone in their gang opened up to.

“Well, I’m sure we can figure something out –“ he tried to reassure before she cut him off.

“I can’t tell you.” Charlie nodded his head. Okay, he could understand if it was a private matter. But then how was he supposed to help her figure out how to help this person if he didn’t know what the problem was?

“It’s just not fair,” Keira continued. “Someone so giving and caring and good – a good person – should not have to suffer and struggle so much! And I just want to help but I can’t,” she sobbed as Charlie attempted to soothe her by rubbing her back.

“Why can’t you,” Charlie asked gently, hoping this was a safer question and route to go than what the actual problem was for whomever they were talking about.

“Because,” she shouted defensively before her shoulders slumped and she once again appeared broken and defeated, “I’m not capable enough to.”

Charlie was unable to hold back his cynical laugh but he did his best to stifle it, especially when Keira looked rather offended by it.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I just… You? Not being capable? Come on.” Keira continued to stare at him incredulously. “You have overcame every obstacle that’s stood in your way when facing these Cursed Vaults and finding your brother. You’ve learned every charm, potion, transfiguration, learned all you can about any and all subjects even remotely related to these Vaults, you’ve snuck into forbidden places, dueled and fought off powerful witches, wizards, and creatures – there’s nothing you can’t overcome. So pardon me for not believing you when you say you’re not capable enough.”

Keira studied him a moment silently before turning to look away, casting her gaze down once again. “There you go again with the reassuring, big brother/Prefect, speech,” she muttered.

“Ah, but I’m not your big brother or your Prefect,” Charlie replied, grinning at her compliment nonetheless and the fact that it had helped, even a little, since she was no longer a bawling mess.

“No, you’re not,” Keira agreed quietly. She suddenly felt a sharp pain in her chest as more tears welled up in her eyes. Oh, Merlin, she wished Jacob was here. She could talk to Jacob about this. He’d be the only one to really understand what she was feeling. She took in a deep, shaky breath as she shoved thoughts of Jacob aside. She could not handle missing her brother on top of everything else she was dealing with today. She was already overwhelmed enough, adding Jacob to the equation… it would be too much, overpowering; it would be disastrous. “And I appreciate you saying all that. But I think the only reason I’m able to do all that is because you guys all help me,” she admitted.

“I don’t know. You’re a pretty determined person. I think even without us helping you’d find a way,” Charlie disclosed to her, resting his arm around her shoulders once again, a bit more casually this time, causing Keira to scoff slightly.

“Determined? Or stubborn,” she asked with a small smirk.

Charlie smirked slightly himself before replying. “You’re strong and smart and brave – you’re highly capable. We’re just here to offer our support.”

“I could have never gotten into or through the Forbidden Forest without you,” Keira said, turning to look up at him once again. Her sincere confession had caught the Gryffindor off guard as he sat there sort of gawking at her. Hey, he was supposed to be the one reassuring her, not the other way around! But hearing that she needed him really touched him. A faint blush spread across his face and he swore he saw Keira smirk smugly to herself, if even for a brief second.

“And I could never brew potions as great as Penny,” Keira added, snapping Charlie out of his thoughts.

“Well no one can brew potions like Penny, not even Professor Snape,” Charlie declared. Keira nodded her head slightly before resting her chin on top of her knees, once again looking defeated and lost. Charlie watched her a moment with a frown before a thought dawned on him.

“Wait, is that what you need? A potion?” When Keira didn’t reply he continued. “Because if you need a potion you could ask Penny. She would do anything to help you and making a potion is clearly no problem for her. And you know it would be done right, so why don’t you just –“

“I can’t.” Keira cut him off once again with a cold remark.

“I’m sure she could make it no questions asked if you tell her you can’t disclose to her why you need it. She would understand. And it’s for you. She’d make you any potion you wanted even if you didn’t tell her why you needed it,” Charlie tried to reassure.

“It’s not that simple,” Keira informed him but that didn’t really tell Charlie much.

“Why not,” he asked innocently.

“Because it’s not! It’s more complicated than that and I can’t tell you why it is! And even if I did ask her to make me this potion I need without telling her explicitly who or what it’s for she would easily figure it out. So, no, I cannot ask Penny to make me the potion I need.” Charlie couldn’t help but flinch slightly at her harsh tone but he understood her frustration and knew it wasn’t personal.

“Okay… So why not try and make it yourself,” he suggested carefully.

“I can’t! I told you I’m not capable. It’s complicated and hard and I’ll probably make some deadly poison instead,” Keira groaned before placing her forehead against her knees as she buried her face once again in despair.

Charlie resumed rubbing her back as he thought of what to say. Since his attempts at reassuring her and providing helpful suggestions were not going over well, he thought he’d try his hand again at lightening the mood. “Maybe Professor Snape will help you,” he joked, causing a hollow laugh from the downtrodden Slytherin.

“I thought about trying to find some to buy from some shady dealer in Knockturn Alley or something but I wouldn’t feel comfortable trusting it,” Keira admitted as she sat back upright.

“I’m sorry I’m not very good at Potions,” Charlie admitted apologetically.

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to be anyway,” Keira replied.

“Hey!” Now it was Charlie’s turn to be the offended one. His insulted cry caused the Slytherin to laugh as she apologized, and this time it actually sounded like a genuine laugh which encouraged him to continue. “You think the only thing I’m good for is trekking around the Forbidden Forest?”

“No. You also know a lot about Quidditch,” Keira retorted with a smirk before laughing more at Charlie’s exaggerated reaction.

“Oh so I’m good for two things! When you want to talk about Quidditch or hear about dragons Charlie is the one you need! Need a potion or skilled wizard don’t bother.”

“That’s not true,” Keira told him between laughs. “Andre is the one to go to to talk about Quidditch.”

“Ohhhh well excuse me,” Charlie cried out, causing Keira to laugh more. “So I’m just the one to go to when it’s about dragons or wandering around the Forbidden Forest? And I specify dragons because I know if I say magical creatures you’ll say you have Barnaby for that,” he accused, Keira nodding her head to confirm his suspicion. “Oh, okay, so I’m just the dragon specialist then?”

“Dragon Master,” Keira corrected.

“Dragon Mas- Dragon Master? Actually that’s a pretty cool title. Dragon Master.” Charlie stopped his overdramatic antics to mull over this new name while Keira’s laughter finally started to die down.

She really needed that.

Charlie looked over at her, once he decided that Dragon Master should be his official new nickname, and smiled to himself as he saw her finally smiling. Even if it didn’t completely reach her eyes, even if there was still this hopelessness lingering around her, he made her smile, got her to laugh, and gave her a little bit more happiness in this awful day she was having.

“Hey,” he spoke softly, grabbing her attention as she looked up at him curiously. “We’ll figure it out.” Keira smiled sadly up at him but there was a small glimmer of hope in her eyes. He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze before, much to his surprise, Keira shifted to lay her head on his shoulder.

“Did you want to see some drawings I did today instead of taking notes in class,” Charlie asked after a moment, reaching over to grab his bag with his free hand. He felt like he had his best luck that night at making her feel better by getting her mind off of whatever was bothering her.

“Are they of dragons,” Keira asked in a slight mocking tone.

“I wouldn’t be the Dragon Master if they weren’t,” Charlie retorted as he brought out his notes from today’s lessons and laid them on his lap. “This is a Hungarian Horntail,” he started, pointing to a dragon sketch on top of his Charms notes.

“Of course it is,” Keira muttered. He drew one of those every day, she swore, since it was his favorite.

“Yeah, yeah,” Charlie teased, moving on to the next page of notes. “These are a couple of ideas I had if you bred a Swedish Short-Snout with a Chinese Fireball.” Keira let out a small chuckle at the weird looking snout that could possibly be produced if these two breeds ever mated. Charlie smiled to himself as he heard her amused laugh. So far, so good.

He appreciated that he could talk to her for hours about dragons, his theories, show her his drawings like these of what crossbreeds may look like, and she never appeared bored or annoyed. In fact she would ask insightful questions about his theories, sometimes even add to them, ask about dragon blood uses, if there were ethical ways to attain dragon hide-made clothing or dragon horns which are used in many potions.

Charlie turned to his next page of notes before tensing up slightly. Oh no, these were his Defense Against the Dark Arts notes. That’s when her already bad day became unbearable. Maybe he could just casually set those aside and move on to another page…

“What’s that,” Keira asked, pointing to a drawing he had done on the bottom of his parchment.

Charlie hesitated before answering her. If this made her start crying again he might as well pack up and leave because clearly he wasn’t comforting her as well as he should be, or at least wanted to be. He didn’t want to keep making her feel reassured and laugh to then become a sobbing mess again! He had to break this cycle!

“That’s uh… Well, you know today’s lesson was on werewolves so naturally I thought what would happen if a werewolf bit a dragon,” he cautiously explained, watching her closely as she continued to stare at his dragon drawing. So far no crying…

“So, I present to you the weredragon,” Charlie said a bit proudly of his new creation. His illustration depicted a creature with a dragon body and tail but werewolf like claws and a werewolf head, fur trailing down its neck and tail and along the back of its legs as well as along its wings. Keira studied the image closely, silently, the expression on her face unreadable. He was not going to be able to handle it if she burst into tears again, especially because of him and his drawing he just had to show her.

“…What do you think,” he asked warily. He was stunned when a smile crept onto her face. He for sure thought this was going to lead to another emotional breakdown, one he would feel entirely responsible for and, therefore, horrible.

“I love it.” Well that certainly was not the reaction he was expecting! “I think it’s my favorite.” Charlie grinned to himself and relaxed as Keira stared at his drawing fondly.

“Yeah? Well then I’ll draw you your own and you can hang it up in your room,” Charlie told her.

“Only if you sign it,” Keira replied, glancing up at him briefly to throw him a small smile, earning a smile back from the Gryffindor.

“Okay, but it’s not going to be worth anything,” Charlie replied.

“It’s worth something to me,” Keira informed him.

Charlie grinned to himself as he felt warmth spread within him from his chest. He slid his Defense Against the Dark Arts notes onto her lap so she could continue to admire his illustration before continuing on with his next set of notes. “This is an Ukranian Ironbelly setting fire to a small village.”

“Wow, that’s a bit gruesome and dark for you,” Keira observed.

“I have to stay true to the dragons and their natural instincts. Besides, the people of this village probably try to steal its eggs and kill its kind so it’s just retaliating to defend itself and kin,” Charlie explained.

“Wow so there’s like a whole backstory to your drawings,” Keira teased. “Maybe you should write a book.” Charlie chuckled before attempting to further this tale he already began, even creating some actual characters with names and their own backstory, lightheartedly cultivating this imaginary book of his.

The two sat atop the Astronomy Tower, discussing dragons, other magical creatures, and wherever their conversation led them, exchanging ideas, balancing out their teasing with reassuring encouragement, accompanied with some laughter.

The image of the couple cuddled up under their layers of blankets as they deepened their bond through meaningful, pleasant, and enjoyable conversation was illuminated by the bright light radiating down from the full moon that hung ominously in the velvet night sky.

“That’s Algiz, that’s Teiwaz,” Keira explained as she motioned to the corresponding runes, causing the eldest Weasley to stare at his practice test she administered for him in confusion.

“How do you remember all this,” Bill asked as he continued to look over his answers, focusing on the wrong ones.

Keira shrugged. “I don’t know, just do. They’re used in alchemy and I love alchemy so maybe that’s why,” she suggested. Bill nodded his head, half listening to her before groaning, his head flopping back on to the couch. The two were sitting on the floor in front of the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room, leaning comfortably back against the couch. Keira had perfected the art of getting in and out of other Common Rooms, partially with Penny’s help who somehow learned how to get in and out of every House’s Common Room in her First Year – her popularity most likely aided in that. But Keira figured out her own way of getting into the Gryffindor Common Room all by herself Second Year, which she was pretty proud of. And who didn’t like being a little rebellious and being somewhere they shouldn’t be? Fortunately, no one really seemed to mind when she was in another House’s Dorm.

“I’m never going to get this,” Bill groaned hopelessly. “How am I supposed to remember everything from the past seven year plus everything they’re going to teach us this year for the N.E.W.T.s,” he cried out in despair.

“Don’t worry, you’ll pass them all with Outstanding’s…. Well at least Exceeds Expectations,” Keira attempted to reassure, and maybe also tease a little.

“But I need O’s to become a Curse-Breaker,” Bill exclaimed. She had never seen the Gryffindor so stressed out before and it was honestly scary.

“How about we take a break –“ she began to suggest calmly which unfortunately caused Bill to erupt in another frantic, stressful shriek.

“There’s no time for breaks!” Keira stared at him with wide, fearful eyes.

“Okay… then, how about you keep studying and I’ll go get us some study snacks and make us some tea or cocoa…. Or maybe something stronger,” she muttered as she carefully stood up and took a couple steps away from the hysterical, anxious mess that was formerly William Weasley. How could she forget study snacks, they were an essential part to the studying process!

Bill continued to pour over his many textbooks and parchment piles of notes, mumbling incoherently, probably reading out loud to himself in an attempt to help him better remember. Seeing him like this was really causing Keira to consider leaving after Sixth year so she wouldn’t have to suffer through this same, sad fate.

As she contemplated her future the arrival of another redhead caught her attention. “Charlie!” Eagerly calling out his name like that was a little embarrassing but she managed to brush it off as she reached into her bag and pulled out a small box tied up with a ribbon before hurrying over to him.

Charlie paused when he heard his name called upon entering the Gryffindor Common Room after Quidditch practice. He had planned on going straight upstairs to take a shower but someone sounded like they needed to speak with him right away. He was quite surprised to see the Slytherin bounding toward him. No matter how many times he saw her in their Common Room he was always surprised. How did she always manage to get in there? Not that he was complaining!

“Hey,” he greeted with his classic, infectious smile, running a hand through his hair possibly trying to tame it from its sweaty mess thanks to his Quidditch practice. Oh great, he probably smelled awful…

It had been a little over a week since he found her crying on top of the Astronomy Tower and since then things had felt a little awkward between them considering he found her sobbing on top of the Astronomy Tower. Keira wasn’t one to normally show her emotions or be so vulnerable in front of anyone, so he was sure she felt a little embarrassed about that and he didn’t want to make her feel judged in any way or like their relationship had changed; although, clearly it had changed, but not in a negative way! He didn’t want to make her feel awkward in any sort of way so he had been keeping a slight distance between them, thinking she may want some space from him after sharing such a vulnerable moment with him. They hadn’t really spoken or spent time alone since then.

Although when they had their next Defense Against the Dark Arts class he did try to give her a little pep talk, accompanied with a brief pumping up shoulder massage like one gave boxers, before they entered the classroom with Barnaby and the rest of their friends who shared that class with them, and continued to give her reassuring looks throughout the class.

Also, as promised, he drew her her own personal weredragon picture which he slid over to her the other day while their gang was having another study session in the library. Keira looked thrilled to receive it and he was pretty positive she wanted to give him a hug. She did slide it back over to him to have him sign it, although he still didn’t understand why she would want that, before she took it and hung it up by her bed in her Dorm. He was a little nervous when he gave her that picture, it could bring back memories of that night which weren’t exactly the happiest, but then, yesterday when she passed him a note in Charms asking what would an Antipodean Opaleye and a Hebridean Black crossbreed look like he felt reassured that things were well between them.

Despite those moments, they still had not spent any time one-on-one, their friends always around them when they interacted the past week and a half. Until now, it seemed.

“Hey,” Keira greeted with a grin as she stopped in front of him. “Have a nice practice?”

“Yeah, it was… tiring,” Charlie admitted, sounding a bit out of breath actually. “What are you doing in here,” he asked curiously before he was unable to resist teasing her, a charming smirk playing on his lips. “Wait, don’t tell me you were waiting for me? Miss me?”

Keira rolled her eyes but couldn’t help smirking slightly herself. “No. I’m here helping your brother study for his N.E.W.T.s – Ancient Runes,” she informed him, motioning to his disaster of an older brother behind her.

“My mind’s been Obliviated,” Bill groaned.

Charlie glanced over her shoulder before wincing slightly. “I’ve never seen him so stressed before.”

“Yeah, me neither. But once he gets through his exams and finds out he passed them all and is able to become a Curse-Breaker he’ll be back to his chill, cool self,” Keira reassured before handing him the small wrapped box excitedly. “Here.”

Charlie looked down at the apparent gift for him. “What? What’s this,” he asked curiously as he hesitantly took the box from her.

“It’s a thank you slash early birthday present,” Keira told him, unable to keep herself from grinning.

Charlie studied the box a moment before frowning slightly. “You don’t have to get me anything.” Of all the Weasley’s she had encountered, Charlie was the worst one at accepting gifts. She was well aware, as were most people, they were not the wealthiest family but she wasn’t trying to give them any sort of handouts out of pity. She didn’t think a birthday or Christmas gift was out of line, or a thank you for being there for me when I needed you gift.

“But I wanted to,” Keira informed him matter-of-factly, so don’t argue with her! “Besides, everyone should get something for their birthday.”

“But it’s not my birthday yet –“

“I said it was an early birthday present,” Keira corrected him. “Slash, thank you gift. Just open it,” she urged excitedly.

Charlie huffed slightly, not nearly as excited as she was, before untying the ribbon around the box. “Alright, alright.” His grumbling came to a halt when his eyes saw what lay in the box.

His gift was a small bronze statuette of a dragon. Although it had no real discernible features if he had to wager a guess it was probably a Hebridean Black since it had four legs and wings, instead of its wings making up its front claws as well, and had an arrow-shaped spike at the end of its tail. Whether she bought this because it resembled her favorite dragon or for some other reason, like it being the only kind they had, he had no idea, but since it resembled her favorite dragon on top of her gifting it to him he would definitely always think of her when he looked at it.

He stammered slightly as he took the tiny dragon figurine out of its box for a closer look, trying to find the words to thank her but he was also mesmerized by this unexpected present. Keira looked a bit smug, but mainly overjoyed, as she watched Charlie’s eyes lit up.

“But wait, there’s more,” Keira announced excitedly, causing Charlie to look at her quizzically before glaring at her slightly as she took the statuette out of his hand. Hey, that was his! She walked over to one of the tables in the Gryffindor Common Room and set his dragon figurine on it, Charlie close behind – she took his dragon!

“What? Does it do something,” Charlie asked curiously as he studied it closely. “Ooo, does it breathe fire,” he asked excitedly. Finally he was getting enthusiastic over receiving a present!

“Not yet,” Keira replied with a smirk as she took out her wand. “As you may or may not know, Professor McGonagall has been giving me some private lessons in Transfigurations.” She cleared her throat before pointing her wand at the dragon statuette. “Draconifors.” With a slash of her wand a fiery red light emerged and illuminated his figurine. When it dissipated his dragon had appeared to come to life!

Charlie’s eyes widened the size of bludgers before he let out some inhuman noise of pure elation. “It’s a dragon!” Keira laughed slightly as his overjoyed reaction, moving her wand slightly to cause his now living dragon figurine to walk along the table. Charlie crouched down to be eye level with his little dragon, watching it in fascination. He was like a kid in Honeydukes. Keira smirked more before, with a flick of her wrist, the dragon leapt onto Charlie’s head. He let out another excited squeal, for lack of a better word, as he slowly stood up, his eyes rolling as far as they could, attempting to look at the dragon on top of his head.

“This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” he informed her as he carefully reached up to grab the dragon from his head and gently held it in his hand.

“I’m very happy to hear that. But it’s not a real dragon, unfortunately. I mean, it kind of is, but not really,” Keira tried to explain. “I asked Professor McGonagall to teach me the Draconifors Spell after reading about it in one of the additional readings she suggested to me. It’s supposed to be able to transform small objects into dragons that you can control. They’re obviously a lot smaller and less powerful than a real dragon but they’re still really cool. And cute.”

Charlie stroked the tiny dragon in his palm with one finger from his free hand. “It is cute,” he agreed, sounding like he was only half listening. Keira wasn’t going to take offense to him ignoring her at the moment.

“You know, if you’re good I’ll teach you the spell and you can turn this little guy, or any small object, into a dragon whenever you want,” Keira offered.

That seemed to grab Charlie’s attention as his head snapped up to look at her. “Yeah? Really?”

“Well, if you’re good and don’t piss me off,” Keira reiterated.

“I drew you a personalized, signed, picture,” Charlie argued.

“So? Barnaby draws me a magical creature picture every day,” Keira informed him. So he would have to do better!

“How about, if Gryffindor beats Slytherin in the next Quidditch match you have to teach me,” Charlie wagered causing Keira to scoff.

“I am not going to be able to handle you crying after you lose,” Keira retorted.

“I would not cry! …. Need I remind you I helped you get through the Forbidden Forest to find the Cursed-Vault in there,” Charlie replied with a smirk.

“Need I remind you how I helped you gather up enough money to get a dragon egg from some shady dealer which turned out to be an Acromantula egg,” Keira debated, placing her hands on her hips. She was pretty sure she won that round.

Charlie and Keira glared playfully at each other before something out of the corner of the Seeker’s eye caught his attention. “Uh, Ady, I think your study buddy is having a nervous breakdown.”

Keira frowned quizzically before turning around to see Bill agitatedly running his fingers through his hair and pulling at it. Oh, Merlin, he was literally about to pull his hair out.

“William, no! Your hair is your best feature. You’ll never be able to get a date without it,” Keira cried as she hurried over to eldest Weasley and grabbed onto his wrists. Charlie chuckled slightly as he watched them before turning his attention back to his new little dragon. Hmm, what should he name it…

“Charles!” Charlie’s head snapped up when he heard his name, and not his friendlier nickname, called. “Help me with your brother,” Keira demanded as she tried to wrestle Bill’s hands away from his head.

Charlie glanced down at the tiny dragon in his hand. “Come on little guy, let’s go show you to Bill. That should take his mind off his exams.”

~*~*~*~

“Ooo chocolate cake,” Keira gasped excitedly as she grabbed a slice of the leftover dessert from dinner. It was another late night hang out in the kitchens of Hogwarts for the Cursed-Vaults Gang…Crew… they had yet to decide on a name.

“Could you grab me some too, please,” Penny asked politely as she gathered drinks for everyone.

Keira cut another slice of cake for the Hufflepuff and set it on a plate before licking off some remnants of chocolate icing off her fingers. “So…” Keira glanced over as she was joined by the Gryffindor Seeker who swooped in and leaned casually back against the stone wall next to her. “Looks like things are good now between you and Penny.”

“Were we fighting,” Keira asked curiously.

“Well, not exactly, but you can’t deny there was some tension between you two for a while there. I mean, she did cause you to storm out of the library that one time,” Charlie reminded her.

Keira glanced back at the blonde Hufflepuff as she handed out everyone’s drinks to them. “Yeah, well, we’re good now,” she told him with a small smile. “Actually… there was sort of a… crucial situation that kind of made us address the issue. And I think it was really good, for both of us. She got to face and work through some things and I got her to teach me how to brew that potion I needed so I’d call it a win-win,” she confided in him.

“Yeah? That’s great,” Charlie exclaimed with a grin. “See, I told you we’d figure it out.”

Keira frowned slightly and paused. “Wait, what did you do, exactly?”

“I provided emotional support?” Keira fought back a smile as she looked up at the cheesy grin of the Gryffindor.

“That may be true but that didn’t necessarily help resolve the issue,” Keira pointed out.

“The point is it’s figured out so all is well. See, no point in all that blubbering,” Charlie teased earning himself a playful – well, partially playful, partially anger fueled – smack from the Slytherin. “Ow!” Charlie rubbed his chest where she hit him, trying to appear emotionally hurt but he couldn’t keep from smiling. He was glad they were at the point where they could talk and joke about it now and it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable anymore.

“Oh, you’re fine. You get hit by bludgers all the time,” Keira retorted as she picked up the two plates of chocolate cake.

“I think you stopped my heart for a second there,” Charlie teased causing Keira to roll her eyes as she smirked to herself.

“Maybe that’ll teach you to be nicer to me,” Keira replied a bit smugly as she turned to bring Penny her piece of cake.

“Maybe…” Charlie started before a smirk spread across his face and he quickly snatched a plate of chocolate cake out of her hand – this was not the Golden Snitch! “Or maybe I like a challenge,” he cried in typical Gryffindor fashion, before hurrying away from her and to the safety of their friend group.

“Charles!”

~*~*~*~

Connerie – Bullshit

Putain de merde – Fucking shit

Needed Information on my MC: Nereida Keira-Adelyn Black, goes by her middle names, Charlie likes to call her Ady; born in Ireland, grew up in Canada; part undine; 

Remus Lupin is legal guardian/godfather, although not feeling he was the best fit to take care of Jacob and Keira (financially or for health reasons) after their mother passed they were raised by close friends of their mom in Canada. When they decided to attend Hogwarts instead of staying in Canada for school to connect with their Irish and English heritage, Remus, being the only person they knew, and really family they had, when they arrived in the UK for school, did his best to watch over them and take care of them since he couldn’t leave them to fend for themselves in a new country all alone. Fortunately, they were very independent and when he took the necessary precautions during the full moon he didn’t have to worry so much about them managing on their own. He didn’t feel comfortable staying at their home without them their so he really only lived with them (and had a good place to live/stay) during holidays and the summers, assuming the moon phase allowed. He also, of course, refused to accept any money or gifts from them although Keira demanded he should get a birthday and Christmas present at least and promised not to be too extravagant (but it’s not fair he has to live in poverty, he can stay at their home! He’s family!)

He and Keira clearly got very close since Jacob went missing and he proved to be probably the best at helping them with their watermarks and other undine characteristics. He tried to keep the fact that he was a werewolf from them as long as possible, not wanting to scare them or cause them any worry especially when they were so young but it wasn’t too difficult for them to figure out (he always left around the full moon every month and his nickname was Moony – come on! Keeping with tradition =p Keira found out Remus was a werewolf during her Third Year) and it ended up being a sort of bonding moment considering they were not completely human either and he knew what undergoing a painful transformation was like. (Being around Keira and Jacob who reminded him so much of Sirius and James also may have helped Remus feel less alone.) Keira is fiercely protective over Remus. They also like to send each other packages of chocolate every month – Remus may not be able to afford much be he somehow always manages to find enough money to send her a little bit of chocolate.

(One of these days I will make a post for my MC’s bio… Hope I explained her relationship to Remus well enough. I really need to make some posts just about my MC, even if no one cares and it’s just for me. Also I don’t care if people hate me trying to have my character connected to the Marauders, we all love Remus and he deserves love and happiness! Like we all don’t want to be connected to them anyway…)

A/N: I’ve been having a lot of Remus Lupin feelings lately. I’ve even started making a Remus Lupin, and a Remus x Tonks playlist… Idk… I have had some other ideas about Remus I might write although they, one in particular, would go against canon but… does that really matter? =p But there is definitely one involving Remus I really want to write so it’s going to happen, probably next! It’s almost like a werewolf trilogy thing I’m starting to create! <.< 

Hello, I’m incapable of writing a short fic. =p Can’t even write a brief authors note… I have a lot of thoughts!

I know we all, particularly me, enjoy pointing out how great an older brother Bill is but Charlie is also an amazing older brother – reassuring, nonjudgmental, willing to smuggle a dragon out of Hogwarts for you, no questions asked. The Weasley’s have such great, chill, older brothers – Love this family! I also believe the Weasley family is a more affectionate family, physically and verbally; growing up with so many people, and in tighter living quarters, you also had to get used to touching someone else while just trying to eat at the table =p

Also, in case there are any questions or those who believe I’m contributing to the erasure of Charlie’s sexuality, I assure you that is not true. Being on the ace-spectrum myself (as is my MC) I am doing my best to convey him on the ace-spectrum as well. Also, just because someone is ace/aro doesn’t mean they are unable to care about others and forge meaningful relationships.

What’s the deal with me and the Astronomy Tower/Class – no idea =p I also believe the reason Professor McGonagall has not taught us the Draconifors spell is because she knows Charlie will use it all the time on everything!

Was the first Chaser who wanted more… aggressive tactics Marcus Flint? Perhaps… Did I go through the House Point leaderboard on the game and make a Slytherin Quidditch team? …Yes =p (If you’re interested let me know and I’ll post it. And if you want your MC on the team can do [I’m Captain of this ship!] – unless you want to be a Beater in which case have to be reserve, sorry, Barnaby and my MC are Beater Buddies!)

So here’s the deal – I began writing this before the Werewolf event in the game happened and I was already starting on the ending scene when the event came out so please excuse any discrepancies. I did add in a couple references to it and although clearly it would be out of order since the Werewolf event clearly happened around Halloween and this I had set late November (okay, full disclosure, I looked up the moon phases for that year and November 23 would be a full moon which I thought was perfect since I wanted it to be cold and it was close to Charlie’s birthday) BUT in my defense I started writing this first before the event came out so therefore it happens first! =p And then… idk, Time Warp =p Maybe Fenrir attacked around the Christmas feast instead of the Halloween one? The event did help me figure out how MC got Penny to teach her how to brew Wolfsbane potion which also provides a two-part epilogue! This could also work with Chiara I think too assuming Penny hadn’t met her yet so you can imagine that if it works out better for you but this was for Remus!

You’re all welcome I resisted adding a “Not Today Satan, Not Today” gif in this because the urge was real! …I still might

Other Hogwarts Mystery Fics:

Under the Stars - Fluff at the End of the Year Ball with Charlie

I know it’s not very fluffy or a follow up to Under the Stars so if you want to remove your tag or need me to do it let me know;I hope that was all I was supposed to tag! If you want to be added to the tag list let me know =) Or if you just want to discuss HPHM things or ideas hmu! 

@sungoddessra @sly-vixen-up2nogood @bexeris @tatlikar @cinnamoncam 

[placingglaciers]

A Price to Pay

Title: A Price to Pay

Genre: AU, Fluff, Getting Together

Word Count: 8, 278

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol intoxication

Description: In which Phil has a massive cliché crush on his writing tutor, the most popular guy at college, and gets invited to one of his legendary parties. One requirement though: Phil needs a plus one.

Author’s Note: This has been pushed off for a while! (Please remember that this is fiction.)

“You still need to come up with some transitional expressions to help make your paragraph smoother,” his writing tutor remarked, his red pen in his hand, of which he had no restraint on using with Philip’s essay papers. “We’ve been over this.”

               If it wasn’t obvious before, then let it be known now that Philip was far more interested in the smoothness of his tutor’s lips rather than the smoothness of his stupid paragraph. His Wednesday afternoon tutoring session only had fifteen minutes remaining. The mere progress they made was on the first page, the following four would have to be reviewed in a later session, of which Philip wasn’t too sad about, of course.  Having the most gorgeous boy in school be your unnecessary writing tutor was rather distracting—unnecessary because Philip was an English student, he could write transitional expressions in his sleep if he really wanted to. He admits that having a crush on this boy and tracking him down to this extent was a bit juvenile, but his college days were being numbered and being single during all of them was not ideal. So if playing dumb for a little while would help him get closer to the guy, then so be it.

               Philip’s eyes glanced down at the red scribbles that practically vandalized his precious essay and back up into those stunning blue eyes. “Um, right, what’s a transitional expression again?”

               You could tell he was being very patient with him as he bit the inside of his cheek and began drumming his pen on the wooden dining hall table. “It’s a sentence variety strategy,” he slowly explained. “You want your writing to sound more creative and poetic, don’t you? It keeps it from sounding monotonous.”

               Philip nodded his head in false understanding. “Oh, right, I think my professor gave us a handout on it during class today…” He continued to shuffle through his quite organized creative non-fiction writing binder. He knew exactly where the paper was, but he was hoping that by stalling, his tutor would lose patience and give him all the answers. Philip knew all the right buttons to push to get his way. This was rather fun, actually.

               “Well, we could start with this sentence here,” his tutor pointed to one of the sentences. “Instead of saying: ‘I must say that people who don’t like wearing pajamas are wrong,” you could say: ‘However, although some people don’t prefer wearing pajamas, they’re ignoring the facts of the multiple benefits of them.’”

               Philip tried his hardest not to cringe in front of him. Two transitional expressions in one sentence? And ending with a prepositional phrase? Never mind the fact that he still kept the contractions in his so-called “revision.” Thank God Philip wasn’t there for actual help. He pretended to think about that awful “sentence” for a few more seconds before coming up with a stupid question. “Yeah, but doesn’t that make the sentence longer?”

               “Yes, but that’s what you need.” He annoyingly pointed out to the paragraph with his pen again. “You have way too many short sentences here. This is why I said you need sentence variety.”

               For some reason, Philip was feeling highly annoyed. He already finished his final draft yesterday. This was just a way for them to keep occupied. But he really hated being told what to do by a Journalism student, who was completely different from an English student in his opinion. All his tutor wanted to do was report on football games. How difficult could that be? Philip had to actually work hard to gain an audience that wouldn’t be simply handed to him. But then again, he knew not one rule about football, so perhaps he should stay in his own lane. He checked the time on his watch. He was right. Unfortunately, he could only tolerate his tutor for an hour or two at a time and it was getting towards the end of the session. It was almost five o’clock; he was going to be late.

               “I think we’re at a stopping point,” his tutor mentioned once he saw Philip check his watch. He began packing his evil red pen and took a drink from his strawberry flavored water. He then said hello to a few passing people.

               Philip began packing his writing binder and essay papers slowly in case they wanted to exchange any heartfelt farewells to each other.

               “Say, Phil?” his tutor suddenly asked him.

               Philip looked up from his book bag and into those dazzling blue eyes again. “Yeah?”

               “I know I’ve only known you for half the semester, but letting a stranger review your personal writing takes a lot go guts,” he began.

               Philip wasn’t sure where this was going. He admits he poured a lot of personal stories into his essays that were difficult to expose to the public, but that only allowed him to get closer to him. And that was the very point to all of this.

               “I mean, writing a whole essay glorifying pajamas?” he continued. “That’s pretty cool.” He put his hand on his toned chest, “I personally sleep naked, but I tried to relate.”

               Philip desperately tried to get that image out of his mind. Naked? He hadn’t tried that before, but he’s willing to take up the challenge, especially with him.

               “You’re a good writer, Phil,” he said earnestly, leaning in on the table.

               Philip allowed himself to blush. “All thanks to you, of course.”

               He smiled at him. “Hey, you know I have that party coming up on Friday, right?”

               Although Philip should be happy he mentioned it, he couldn’t help but feel dread. He hated parties. The loud music, the annoying people, the alcohol, the drama…he hated it all. After being passed out drunk, waking up on a moist trampoline with half his clothes on at one of his old classmate’s houses a couple years ago, he promised himself he would avoid parties at all costs. But what should he do now? Turn down this exclusive invitation to one of the most legendary parties of the year by the host himself?

               “Uh, yeah, of course,” Philip failed to sound enthusiastic.

               “You’re always welcome,” his tutor said, getting up from his chair. “But of course, you need a plus one.”

               “P-plus one?” Philip asked without thinking.

               “Yeah, the goal is to get as many people there as possible,” he explained, casually putting one of his backpack straps over his large shoulder. “If no one brings a plus one, the party would be pretty lame.”

               Philip let out a fake chuckle. “Right, I’ll just go with you then.”

               “What, no! I’m the host, remember?”

               Philip blushed as embarrassment rushed through his lanky body. What was he going to do now? He couldn’t simply ask all his friends; he barely had any to begin with. And sending a campus-wide email would basically guarantee failure (and hatred). This would have to be solved a lot faster than what he was capable of doing.

               “I’ll see you tomorrow?” his tutor asked right as he turned to leave.

               Philip nodded his head slightly and smiled. He wasn’t expecting his tutor to give him this type of work. However, he had no other option but to figure it out at a later time. He was going to be late, after all.

               If there was one thing Philip was allowed to be proud of, it would be his unofficial board game club. The designated location was in the basement of the library, a bit symbolic as the club was metaphorically underground as well. Philip was denied by the student activities office three years ago for his club proposition, as apparently it didn’t “reflect” on student values. So rather than giving up, he went on with it anyway despite no financial support, campus support, or, really, student body support. Board games were one of his passions; all he wanted to do was create a space for other fellow “gamers” to share their passions together. The club had only less than ten people in it, which was their limit. Any more, and they’ll risk initiating a dirty rat, and the last thing they wanted to do was justify a lame board game club to the Dean.

               Philip entered the library’s small basement lounge breathlessly after he rushed his way across campus. Everyone was there, all five of them (excluding himself). He was bad at names, so he only knew a few of them personally. They were at the small snack table, digging in to some chips and candy, otherwise known as fuel for a long night of board games. This week, they were playing Yahtzee, a game Philip didn’t particularly care for, but it won out of majority vote. He dumped his heavy book bag on the floor with the others and joined everyone at the snack table.

               “Phil! You look spent!” the vice president exclaimed. “Tutoring session went well, I suppose?”

               “It’s not what it looks like,” Philip reassured him, reaching for a handful of bright orange nacho cheese flavored Doritos. “I rushed over so I wouldn’t be late.”

               “Well you already failed at that,” one of the members made sure to tell him as she filled her Styrofoam cup with cheap fruit punch.

               “Wonder what else you’ll fail at tonight,” another member added, sitting at the wooden round table that was in the middle of the dimly lit room.

               Philip rolled his eyes, already enjoying the competitive atmosphere in the room. “You guys know I’m bad at dice games!”

      ��        As everyone took their seats in their own unique chairs (campus furniture barely comes in complete sets), Philip filled his snack plate with more Doritos and quickly joined the others. He was left with the orange leather chair, of which he was certain it hadn’t been cleaned since the seventies. He sat in between the vice president and a brown-haired boy of which he forgot the name of as he was the newest member.

               “Alright, the meeting has commenced!” the president announced excitedly. “Looks like everyone is here, so that is great. Thanks to those of you who donated tonight’s snacks. Though you may not be reimbursed with money, I hope tonight’s fun will be a sufficient payback.”

               Everyone around the table rolled their eyes, but laughed anyways.

               “For tonight’s agenda, we will cover our plans for the next meeting and get started with the game!” the president continued enthusiastically. “I say we’d be done at around nine? Ten?”

               Up to five hours of constant dice rattling? Philip was sure he’ll end the night with an intense migraine.

               “According to the club’s survey,” the vice president chimed in, holding a small piece of paper in his hands, “there is yet another tie between Scrabble and Clue. Therefore, according to the unofficial rules, there must be a coin toss. Would anyone like to volunteer?” He looked around the room eagerly.

               No one made the effort to retrieve any coin, because perhaps there wasn’t one there to begin with.

               “Alright, fine,” the vice president sighed and shoved his hand in his back pocket. “I know college kids are poor, but come on.” He placed the coin in his hands. “Heads for Scrabble, tails for Clue. Now, we all know I don’t know how to do this correctly, so I’ll just throw it against the wall.”

               The coin flew through the air and clinked against the wall and then on the vinyl tiled floor. The brown haired boy that sat next to Philip looked behind and announced, “Tails!”

               Philip crossed his arms and pouted. He liked Clue, but he was much better at Scrabble. Much to his dismay, most of the table cheered. The only way for him to feel better about this was if he was guaranteed to be Professor Plum, but the chances of that were slim.

               “Its sick how most of you guys choose murder over a word game,” Philip bitterly pointed out.

               “Words will always exist, but dead bodies will not,” the president wisely replied.

               One of the members grabbed the Yahtzee box and opened it before everyone.

               “Rules are simple: I’m sure you all know how it works, just roll the dice and use your basic math skills,” the president briefly explained as he tore off three score sheets. “There will be three teams to make it more fun,” he then pointed to different groups. “We’ll have the Girl Team, the President Team, and the, uh, Dan and Phil Team.”

               “Uh, excuse me?” One of the girls retorted. “Why must our team be defined as our gender?”

               The president rubbed his face tiredly, “Oh my God,” he muttered quietly. “Okay, just be whatever team you want to be.”

               “Alright, then, we’ll be the Queen Team,” the other girl confidently decided.

               Philip wasn’t sure if that was any better than the first, but he rather not interfere. He had more problems to deal with. Not only did he just learn his neighbor’s name for the first time, but he also had to be paired with him. From what he could recall, all Daniel was good at was Outburst, which was admirable, but not very helpful in this situation.

               “So, are you good at rolling or at math?” Daniel whispered in his ear.

               “Neither,” Philip replied quietly, writing both of their names on the score sheet. “I’ll just be here for moral support.”

               “Moral support?” Daniel whisper-shouted back. “You can’t expect me to be an expert at the both of them!”

               “Wait, you actually expect us to win?” Philip asked while the “Queen Team” rolled. “The girls cheat and the other two never let anything go. It’s exhausting.” He watched as the girls scored a full house. He then whispered in Daniel’s ear, “I think we should just float for a while before we make any waves.”

               “Well too bad, you’re rolling with the tide,” Daniel handed him the dice-filled blue cup that probably had been touched by way too many people by this point.

               Philip’s stomach tightened as he loudly shook the dice in the cup. He then threw them out on the table, each of them landing their own way. There were a lot of different black dots looking back at him, and he wasn’t sure what to do about that. He looked up at the rest of the table and they looked at him with a glimmer of disbelief in their eyes. He, too, knew what this meant. It just felt too unreal to accept it yet.

               “Phil!” Daniel exclaimed and shook his shoulders excitedly.

               A smile creeped across Philip’s face, but he kept silent.

               “Man! And it’s the first one of the night!” the vice president commented, with a tad bit of jealousy.

               Philip turned his chin up proudly as he handed the dice to the President Team. “Yeah? What are you gonna do about that?”

               The president snatched the cup from his hands and offered him a nasty look. “Shove all five of these dice up your behind until you’re constipated for a week!”

               “I’d like to see you try!” Philip yelled back, almost rising from his seat from rage.

               The game did end up continuing until ten, but Philip didn’t care. Daniel and he were rightfully in second place, with the so-called “Queens” winning. There was a long argument afterwards on the speculation of cheating, but was interrupted by one of the late-working librarians. Once they all left, the fall night air caused Philip to shiver a little as he didn’t bring his jacket. The moon was high in the sky and the campus was still and quiet, a big difference from all the escalation from tonight’s meeting.

               “Great game,” Daniel said behind him as they walked toward the dorms.

               Philip felt embarrassed to admit that he hadn’t done much talking to Daniel. In fact, he didn’t even know he lived in the dorms until now. But it wasn’t like talking to him was the worst thing in the world. It was actually quite nice. He felt more like himself and he was willing to challenge himself more with his friends than with his writing tutor. He felt free and he had fun, which was what he needed after knowing what he had to do between right now and Friday night.

               “Oh, um, thanks,” Philip replied, adjusting his glasses. He waited a few seconds for Daniel to catch up with him on the sidewalk. “Sorry we didn’t win.”

               Daniel shrugged, “At least it wasn’t a massive insult to our intelligence. It’s a game of chance, you can’t control it.”

               Philip kept his mind on more important matters than the dull conversation. He was trying to see how inviting one of the board game club members would work out. They were the only people he talked to, after all. First, he’d have to convince them that his writing tutor had more than two brain cells to rub together, which would be a miracle in itself. Then, he’d have to force them into a loud, obnoxious party full of drunk, pretentious, senseless people. And asking a bunch of lame introverts to do anything is exhausting in the first place. Perhaps he could show up without a plus one? It’s not like there’ll actually be a doorman checking every single person, right? It’s a college party, since when were there rules anyway?

               “Are you okay?” he heard Daniel ask him with concern.

               Philip’s worrisome thoughts drifted away and he looked at him in confusion. “Yeah?”

               “I was just wondering because your teeth were making weird noises. I couldn’t tell if you were grinding them or chattering.”

               He brought his arms closer to his body, “the latter.”

               Daniel began unzipping his jacket, “here, you can—”

               The beep of the resident hall door unlocking due to Philip swiping his I.D. interrupted him. Philip opened the door. “I…don’t think that’ll be necessary.”

               Daniel offered a disappointed smile and entered the building. “Um, well, goodnight I guess.”

               He doubted his polite positivity, but he could take all the luck he could get.

                                                                                       ***

               As Philip yawned loudly in his warm bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he never recalled a more vivid dream than the one he had last night. He felt like he barely had any sleep, and the dream didn’t make it any easier. He put his glasses on and instinctively reached for his phone from his desk to check if he had any overnight notifications. He had a mysterious email from someone at his school named Daniel Howell in response to his online advertisement. At first, he couldn’t believe it. He read the email over and over again, but it still came to the same conclusion: this Daniel guy wanted to be his date for Friday night. He scratched his head; he could’ve sworn his dream was exactly like this, posting an online ad on some job website as a joke to get a desperate date on Friday night. With this sudden realization, and panic, he checked and understood that sleep deprivation could make a person do a lot of questionable things. He quickly deleted the advertisement as soon as he had the opportunity, cringing at the very fact that he ever did such a thing. But now what was he going to do with this Daniel guy? He could’ve sworn he met someone last night by the same first name, unless that was a dream as well. But no way would that Daniel be interested in some stupid party anyway. But besides that, Philip somehow finally had a plus one! Being that he was going to be late for his morning class if he spent any more time in bed, he decided to respond later to the email and get moving.

               Throughout the day, Philip was too preoccupied with doing homework, thinking about last night’s meeting, and reading his new book to even spend one minute thinking about the party. He even almost promised himself to attend the free movie showing on Friday if he hadn’t checked his calendar first. He was subsequently hit with dread for the remainder of the day. Then it somehow got worse when he had to be faced with the most gorgeous face he’d ever seen for an hour.

               “There you go again, using your passive voice rather than active,” his tutor told him, making a red mess out of his paper. “Pajamas are not worn by people, people wear pajamas! Always put the subject first to keep your audience reading. It gives it a little more life, you know?”

               Philip was a little more annoyed today than usual. He was growing impatient, too. The semester was halfway over and all he knew about this boy was that he played basketball, lived off campus, knew literally everybody, wanted to be a sports journalist, and hated having too much ice in his beverages. This was only the tip of the iceberg, Philip was certain of it. There had to be something more interesting to him than those few things. What was his favorite color? What board game does he like to play with his family? What movies does he cry to? It’s becoming exhausting to keep going like this. Philip had poured his heart to him through his writing, bought him multiple coffees, dedicated most of his afternoons, and even waited on him when he was an hour late repeatedly. Something had to be done about this. Philip bit his lip as he looked at him across the table, too concentrated on the flow of his red pen to notice. Friday was going to be it. The most popular guy in school was going to fall in love with him on that night. It only seemed fair. Now all Philip had to do was come up with an infallible plan.

               “Sorry, old habit…” Philip had to respond. “Did you check my revisions?”

               “Uh, yeah, they were pretty good,” he replied, barely paying attention to him. “When did you say this was due again?”

               “Next Wednesday,” Philip answered, checking his calendar, although it didn’t matter.

               “Right, perhaps we can meet again on Monday? You know this weekend is a bit busy for me.” He set down his pen and half smiled at him. “Which, now that I mentioned it, who are you planning on bringing?”

               Philip’s insides seemed to tighten all together at the same time, keeping him frozen in place. “I, uh, well…” he cleared his throat as he struggled to come up with a believable lie. “Someone I met…l-last week.” He honestly forgot all about the email from this morning.

               His tutor flashed him an impressed smile. “Phil! Wow! I can’t wait to meet them! Honestly, ugh, I’m so excited for Friday! I have a legit deejay coming, I’m getting a bubble pit installed, all the beer you can drink, and a bonfire. It’s gonna be sick! Legendary even!”

               Philip didn’t say anything as he wasn’t sure if any of those activities sounded good together. It sounded all too loud, boring, and unnecessary. At least nothing would distract him from his plan. He just hoped he would be able to execute it.

                                                                                               ***

               As the party began at nine, Philip contacted Daniel Howell to meet in his dorm room at eight. Either way, Philip thought nine was a bit late to start a party, but he didn’t make the rules. He probably wasn’t going to stay there all night anyway; he didn’t need to. He believed an hour should be sufficient to kiss a few times and get on with it. Currently, he was lying on his bed, staring up at his ugly water stained dropped ceiling, wishing Daniel Howell was there for some reason. He really needed someone to talk to. His chest was tight and his mind was racing, the way it usually did when he was hit with a wave of anxiety. He was finally beginning to have second-thoughts about all of this. Sure, he was a smart guy, but could he really pull something like this off? And what should he wear or say or do with his hands? He hadn’t kissed anybody in well over five months, and that was just for the pizza guy who he couldn’t afford a proper tip for (that was a bit of a disaster). Of course, the obvious answer would be to just be himself, but that’s a bit difficult as he was everything but that around his tutor.

               A sharp knock came from the door, which forced Philip out of his mind a little. He climbed out of his bed and went to open it.

               “Hi.” It was Daniel, but not the Daniel he was expecting.

               His eyebrows scrunched a little in confusion. “Daniel, right?”

               He was so cute. He was wearing probably one of the nicest white button down shirts he could find in his closet and his black jeans didn’t even have one speck of lint on them. He wore a dark gray bomber jacket over his shirt with a deck of vintage Bicycle cards and a single red rose in his hands. It was as if he was going on a special date. Philip felt bad. And stupid. Of course this was the Daniel all along. Nobody else would be pathetic enough to respond to such a silly online advertisement. Philip had to set things straight fast.

               “Well I sure hope so!” Daniel exclaimed. “Or else I’m gonna be late for a date with the most incredible guy I know!”

               He bit his lip and allowed Daniel to come further into his room. He closed the door behind him. “Dan, I have to tell you something…” he looked at Daniel sincerely, who was sitting patiently on his neatly made bed. He leaned on his dresser that was across the room. “This is not what you think this is. You’re…not exactly going to be my date for tonight.”

               Daniel’s face sunk and his eyes were filled with disappointment. “What do you need me to do then?”

               Philip felt bad for making him feel this way, but he had to tell him the truth somehow sometime. “I just need you to be my plus one when we enter the party, and then we can go our separate ways. So if you were worried if you were gonna have to be stuck with me all night, then I’m sure you feel a little relieved now.”

               Daniel bit his lip and set the deck of cards and the rose gently on the blue bedspread. “Why are you even going to this dumb party anyway? This isn’t like you.”

               Oh, what did Daniel know about him anyways! They practically just met earlier this week. He didn’t need to say that. Philip sighed, “Look, this will only be for an hour—tops. I just really need to do this one thing.”

               “Yeah?” Daniel folded his arms. “And what is that?”

               Now that he was going to say it out loud, the whole plan sounded stupid. Convince a practical stranger to kiss him? Could he be any more of a creep? “Well, um, it’s kinda silly, but it’ll help me in the long run, I’m sure.” He finally went to sit by Daniel on the bed. He rubbed his arm nervously, “I have a bit of a crush on my writing tutor.”

               Daniel nodded; “Yeah?” He paused for a moment and then said, “Phil, we all knew that. I mean, it’s obvious you don’t need a writing tutor. And, honestly, who doesn’t have a crush on that guy? He’s gorgeous.”

               Philip’s face lit up and he smiled widely, “Exactly! And perhaps by him inviting me tonight might say something, a small something, but still something.” He looked at him sincerely, “Dan, I really need to do this. It’s been killing me ever since the semester started. I just need your help just for one night.”

               It took a while, but Daniel finally nodded and agreed to his plan.

               “Alright, first, you look terrible,” Philip commented on Daniel’s outfit. He got up and rummaged through his dresser drawers and pulled out one of his blue college t-shirts. He threw it in Daniel’s direction. “Wear that. We’re going to a party, not to dinner.”

               Daniel shrugged off his jacket and began unbuttoning his shirt. “Great, just my favorite color.”

               Philip turned his head, slightly excited to know this special fact about him. “Really?”

               Daniel giggled, “No, it’s black, but you were close.” He shoved his head through the t-shirt, “And what were you planning to wear?”

               “This!” Philip pointed to his gray sweatpants and tight yellow t-shirt he got for free from volunteering. “What’s wrong with this?”

               Daniel pushed his arms through the sleeves and pulled the rest of the shirt down over his torso. “It looks like you’re trying too hard at not trying too hard.”

               Blood rushed to Philip’s cheeks and he glanced at himself in the mirror. He looked like he was going to the party in his pajamas. And although that was what his essay was about, he rather not be a living example of it in front of his crush. “What should I do then?”

               Daniel walked toward the mirror to fix his wavy brown hair. He shrugged, “Just slip on some jeans and a nice sweater. You’ll be fine.”

               “A sweater?” Philip retorted, heading toward his closet.

               “It shows off your softer side,” Daniel replied and then looked at him sincerely. “Guys like that.”

                                                                                               ***

               “Do you think its lame?” Philip asked Daniel with his head in his hands. “Arriving on time at a party?” They were a block away from the supposedly “abandoned” house where the party was located. They chose to sit on a low stone wall someone had in their front yard. The street was barely lit and quiet as most of the houses in the neighborhood were abandoned also. Philip heard it had something to do with the economy, but he didn’t care enough to pay attention. He crushed a few dry leaves with his sneaker and shivered as an autumn breeze passed by. He’s glad he’s wearing this sweater because it was another cold night. Daniel zipped his jacket and shoved his hands in its pockets.

               “This is my first party, so I’m not quite sure,” Daniel responded, watching a few cars pass by.

               “We should’ve stopped by Starbucks or something.” Philip’s mind was racing with thoughts of his own inadequacy and regrets.

               Daniel laughed out loud, which put Philip at ease. “Starbucks? Before a party?” he shook his head. “Starbucks is only for when you’re running late for a meeting.” He was quiet for a few moments and then looked at him sincerely. “I mean, we can bail if you want to. Coffee sounds really nice.”

               Philip shook his head, “it’s not like it’s every day you get invited to huge parties like this one.”

               “You’re right, maybe he’ll take offence to you not coming to his social status event that’s full of other fake people in need to maintain their social status.” Daniel rolled his eyes.

               Philip narrowed his eyes at him. “I bet you’re one of those people who announce a ‘social media detox’ and still sticks around just to see if anyone cares. Spoiler alert: no one does.”

               Daniel gave him a nasty look. “You’re mean when you’re stressed, you know that?”

               Philip sighed and stood up. “Shut up and let’s go.”

               Daniel sighed and followed him down the cracked sidewalk. They could hear the loud music pulsing from the party already. Philip could feel it in his chest (or was that his own heartbeat?). More cars raced down the street, with their music blasting as well. The closer they got to the house, they saw all the flashing lights and faint smoke from the bonfire. Philip’s stomach became tenser and his palms began to sweat once he realized this was actually happening. As they approached the house, they came across a long line of people that were already halfway drunk, waiting to enter the house.

               “You don’t suppose he actually made a guest list, do you?” Daniel asked Philip in his ear.

               Philip was too anxious to answer. There were at least a hundred people in the line. Some people were already being rejected and thrown out, which caused a loud commotion. After twenty or so minutes, they were finally at the front of the line. The whole ordeal felt like it was straight from a movie scene, with the huge intimidating bodyguard (he was actually one of the basketball players) asking for his name and checking the very sophisticated guest list. After they were approved, Philip felt a little better, but not entirely. The inside of the house smelled like mold and cat urine. There were old takeout food wrappers, bottles, cigarette butts, and broken pieces of rotted furniture everywhere. Candles and camping lanterns served as the only few light sources. All the windows were either broken or cracked and bugs were not a rare sight. However, perhaps the music and the people distracted Philip from how bad it really was.

               “Alright, in order to do this the most efficient way possible, I think it would be best if we split up,” Philip told Daniel loudly as they stood in the middle of a supposed living room. The chandelier above them was full of cobwebs and it was slightly swaying. “If you find him, you come get me.”

               “But how will I know where you are?” Daniel asked him. “By then I would lose him.”

               Philip had to admit he hadn’t thought that far into it. “I don’t know…this place can’t possibly be that big…”

               “Just…” Daniel reached for his back pocket and took out his phone. “Give me your number.”

               With much reluctance, Philip offered his phone number and turned toward the back door to go outside. He was hit with such an abundance of stimulation that he wanted to immediately run and hide from everything. The deejay booth was at the back of the huge backyard with inappropriately large speakers blaring out music that was rather distasteful according to Philip. Next to the deejay booth was the massive bubble pit that surprisingly had a lot of people participating in. As most of the people were nearly naked, Philip didn’t add that to his list of things to do. The bonfire was in the center, with the flames reaching at least six feet in the air. People from upstairs were throwing random furniture to the grass below to feed the fire; there was already a wooden chair, a broken desk, and a mattress. There were at least five kegs of beer sitting around, but no food. That was probably what made Philip the most uncomfortable.

               Philip made his way to one of the kegs and poured himself a half cup of beer and sat on the grass near the bonfire by himself, really wishing he had a s’more right about now. He took a drink, hoping it’ll help him find his confidence.

               “Well, he’s nowhere in the house, that’s for sure,” Daniel told him breathlessly. He sat down beside him and peered inside of Philip’s empty cup.

               “They have no food here,” Philip commented disappointedly, keeping his eyes on the fire.

               Daniel shrugged, “They’re narcissists; do you really think they’ll take the precious time to think about food instead of themselves?” He smirked, “besides, all they need to survive is fake internet points.”

               “Turn it down a notch, Mr. Edge Lord,” Philip rolled his eyes. “Can’t you just enjoy yourself without pushing your ‘alternative’ agenda on me?”

               Daniel smiled at him and he looked around. “They don’t have any games either.”

               Philip giggled, “Can you imagine if someone whipped out Monopoly?”

               He laughed, “Either you pay the full fine of Boardwalk with a hotel or you get banished to…the bubble pit.”

               Philip smiled widely and glanced over at the bubble pit. “What are the chances of him being in there?”

               “I think seventy-five percent,” he answered rather confidently. “But first you have to strip.”

               “That’ll really get his attention,” Philip laughed, crushing his cup and throwing it into the fire.

               At that moment, someone screamed loudly into the deejay’s microphone, requesting a trap remix of “All Star.” Philip was seriously questioning if he suddenly got pushed into an alternate universe where anything was absurdly possible within the heavily skewed timeline. Everyone began dancing recklessly and someone finally threw the smelly old mattress into the fire.

               “Well, at least we know what type of music the love of your life enjoys,” Daniel commented rather sarcastically.

               “You mean…?” Philip was in disbelief. His eyes scanned the dense crowd and he saw him. He could see that mop of blond hair anywhere. His stomach tensed and he rolled up his sleeves to help cool himself down.

               Daniel nudged his shoulder, “Now is your chance!”

               Philip sighed and rose to his feet, “Alright, but this requires another drink. Or two.”

               After gulping down another cup of beer, Philip fixed his hair, straightened his glasses, and pushed his sleeves up a bit more. He slowly made his way to the crowd. He pushed and shoved between the moist and drunk bodies to get to the life of the party. Finally, after a few suffocating minutes, he bumped into his tutor. Heat rushed over his body as he was shirtless and looked rather good that way.

               “H-hi,” Philip began nervously. Backing out now would not only be stupid, but also a complete waste of his time and effort. He accepted the fact that he was stuck here.

               “Oh, Phil!” He put a muscular arm around his bony shoulder. “It’s good to see you! I was hoping you would come.”

               “Nice party,” Philip complimented while he felt him dance all too closely to his body.

               “Aw, this is nothing!” He replied and wrapped a hand around Philip’s waist and shouted in his ear, “Wait until later! I got a firework crew coming!”

               All Philip could think about was that firm hand on his waist. Soon he was speaking without thinking. “Do—do you want to get out of here?”

               His tutor paused a few seconds, his blue eyes locking with his. Suddenly his large damp hand caressed Philip’s jaw and he glanced at his lips and back up to his eyes. He didn’t hesitate to kiss him hard on the lips, giving no time for Philip to adjust to the warm sensation. “You’re cute,” he simply said in one of his charming smiles.

               Philip’s insides were both frozen and moving all over the place at the same time. He felt weak in the knees. That kiss certainly didn’t go as planned, but it still felt exciting to him. None of his thoughts made logical sense anymore. Something in his brain switched and suddenly he felt the need for something more. “I’m serious; do you want to get away?” he had to shout in his ear.

               “Oh, I see,” he wiggled his perfect eyebrows at him and took his hand. As he had more authority, the crowd practically parted for them. Philip could breathe better now that there were less people.

               “Phil!” Daniel shouted as they passed by him.

               All Philip could do was shrug his shoulders as he was being dragged away too fast.

               The trip through the house was all but a blur to Philip as there were barely any lights and they were rushing through too quickly. His tutor was opening random doors until he finally discovered a dark room upstairs with still the mattress left. After he slammed the door shut behind them, he pinned Philip against the wall harshly and started kissing his neck.

               “Ah!” Philip gasped and tried to figure out where to put his hands. He finally settled to put them on his tutor’s waist. When he finally regained (most) of his senses, he confessed, “I guess you could tell then?”

               He felt him smile against his skin. “Phil, though you may be an English genius, you aren’t very good at hiding the obvious.” His lips trailed up to his jaw and he kissed him hard again.

               Philip gasped happily again and he pulled him closer. He was pretty sure he just saw literal fireworks outside the window. He heard the bangs and everything. “I suppose you like me too, then?”

               “Sure, you could put it that way,” he told him and gave his butt an unexpected squeeze. “Get on the mattress.”

               Philip was beginning to feel like this was going way too fast for him. Surely they’re not ready for this already? “Um, is it…is it sanitized?” Philip gently lowered himself on the dirty carpet and rested his knee on the mattress.

               “Yeah,” his tutor answered as he plopped himself down on the mattress. A small cloud of dust floated up. “Well, I think so.”

               Philip cringed and he tried to sit lightly on the bed. However, the boy climbed over him and kissed him hard enough to push him all the way into the dirty mattress. More explosions could be heard and sparks could be seen outside the bare cracked window. He glanced down at the boy who was now kissing his neck again and felt relieved, accomplished, and lucky at the same time. He took the liberty to run his fingers through his soft blond hair—something he had far too often dreamed about.

               His tutor sat up on his knees. “Phil, you still have your clothes on,” he told him as he began to unzip his own jeans.

               What? Philip was beginning to feel like something was wrong here. Why was he supposed to be the one to take off his own clothes? That wasn’t how this worked. However, given that he didn’t want to cause any trouble, he reluctantly pulled off his sweater, feeling incredibly self-conscious about his soft torso being too close to the boy’s toned one. Kisses were being trailed all over Philip’s chest now and he was beginning to feel good again. He let out a quiet moan as his heart was racing. Though, at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel dirty. Sure, for obvious reasons since he was on the most disgraceful mattress he’s ever encountered, but also because he felt so disconnected from it. They weren’t laughing or making any jokes—not even talking at all. It was only physical. Like he was being used. Perhaps he could change that.

               “So, um, what are your plans for fall break?” Philip asked him awkwardly as he struggled to adjust his body from being crushed to death by the muscular one on top of him.

               “I don’t ‘do’ talking,” he said firmly as he was kissing down Philip’s stomach. He then sighed in frustration. “Phil, your jeans are still on.”

               Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it; Philip wanted to say to him, but went along with it anyway. As his hands inched down to his zipper, he remembered something. “Do you have a condom? I wasn’t really expecting this and I’m not really that experienced, sorry.”

               “Uh, no?” he sat back on his heels. “But we’ll be fine, right? It’s just one time.”

               Despite having the most beautiful body on display before him like that, Philip suddenly didn’t want this anymore. He wanted to find Daniel, leave, and take a long shower. And then perhaps eat some pizza. But not this. Anything but this. Almost without notice, he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore and coughed a little. He sat up and tried to retrieve his sweater from the darkness. “I have to go,” he said breathlessly.

               His tutor quickly reached out for him and pleaded, “No, stay! Isn’t this what you wanted? What we wanted?”

               Philip wrestled out of his grip and coughed again. “You’re drunk,” he slipped his sweater on, but the room was too hot for him to find any comfort in it. “Do you…do you feel that?” he stretched out his collar, trying to let more air into his lungs.

               “What do you mean?” he asked, but their attention was immediately diverted to the window. Hot orange flames could be seen, creeping down around the window. “The fireworks!”

               Philip didn’t even wait for him. He bolted out the door and ran down the stairs. There was only one thing on his mind. He needed to know where Daniel was. He needed to make sure that he was okay. He oddly didn’t care about himself, or his stupid tutor, or anybody else. It was only Daniel.

               Philip desperately rushed outside with a cloud of smoke and his half-naked tutor behind him. They both doubled over and coughed loudly and deeply. Philip saw flashing lights all around him in colors of red, blue, orange, and white. Firefighters in uniform rushed into the abandoned house. Everyone from the party was standing around in the street staring at the blaze. Some were seriously freaking out while others were making jokes and filming it on their phones.

               Philip rushed out on to the crowded street in a panic. Where did he last see Daniel? Through everything that has happened within the past thirty or so minutes, he wasn’t sure of a lot of things anymore. He ran his fingers through his incredibly dirty hair and tried to think hard. He really wished he didn’t drink that last cup of beer. He passed by an ambulance that already had somebody on a stretcher. That didn’t relieve his thoughts all that much. Tears were stinging his eyes as his questions still remained unanswered.

               “Daniel!” Philip shouted out as he passed through the crowd. “Has anybody seen Dan? Daniel!”

               He stopped in his tracks as his back pocket vibrated. He quickly took out his phone and felt relief surge through his body.

               “Hey, where are you at?” Daniel asked him on the phone almost too casually. “The freaking house caught on fire! You should’ve seen how it started, it was so ridiculous,” he laughed. “I swear, this idiotic party was set up by a bunch of—”

               “Are you okay?” Philip got straight to the point. “Where are you?”

               “I, um, I’m…I think I see you,” Daniel replied. “You look terrible.”

               Philip turned in circles until he saw a blue dot in the distance. Actually, it was pretty easy to see him as everyone was mostly shirtless to begin with. Philip rushed forward quickly, pushing people to get through, until he met with Daniel. He threw his arms around him tightly, making sure to not let go. He squeezed his eyes shut and by surprise, hot tears streamed down his cheeks.

               “Boy, you must’ve really missed me,” Daniel joked, wrapping his arms around Philip’s waist.

               Philip let go so he could take Daniel’s face into his hands. “No, you idiot! I was worried about you!”

               Something in Daniel’s mind suddenly clicked as he glanced at the burning house and back at Philip. “Don’t tell me…you weren’t…you weren’t in that house were you?”

               Philip sniffled, “Doesn’t matter. Are you okay?”

               “Pshhh, yeah, I’m fine,” he brushed off. “How did,” he smiled, “how did your ‘talk’ go?”

               Philip stepped back a little and he rolled his eyes. “That guy’s a loser. He made us lay on a filthy dirty mattress and he didn’t even bring a condom!”

               “You guys had sex?!” Daniel asked a little too loudly.

               Philip giggled and he shook his head. He looked at Daniel for a few seconds and he felt safe. He was glad they were both okay, but more importantly that Daniel actually cared about him. Perhaps it was the alcohol or the fact that Daniel looked good in his own t-shirt, but he felt something he hadn’t felt before. He wasn’t sure where that came from, so he looked at the fireball that was the house to distract him. “No doubt he’ll be going to jail for this,” he looked over at Daniel once more, then back at the flames, and he bit his lip.

               Daniel smirked, “Can’t believe you almost were the one that would have to bail him out.” He sighed with relief, “but I guess the only good thing that came out of this is was that you’re still alive.” He smiled at him.

               Philip felt something stronger then than when his tutor smiled at him. Oh no. This was certainly not supposed to happen. But perhaps, there were some things he couldn’t control. Very carefully, he took the chance and gently brushed Daniel’s face with his fingertips. He leaned in slowly and he kissed him. It wasn’t hard or desperate like the other kisses he received earlier this night; instead it was more sincere and slow. Daniel kissed him back eagerly, and it was clear that he didn’t do it to express good manners. Philip was sure he never felt anything more right this entire night.

               “Was this part of the agreement?” Daniel whispered after kissing him, their foreheads barely touching.

               Philip tilted his head in confusion, “what do you mean?”

               “You hired me, remember? The ad? The whole plan you had for tonight?” Daniel asked him. “I don’t mean to be that kind of person, but I’m still on the clock. And I don’t really care about the money, so don’t…”

               Philip shook his head apologetically, “I’m sorry, Dan. I honestly forgot.” He bit his lip, “I’m a bit broke at the moment.”

               Daniel smiled at him and he brought Philip’s hand up to his lips and he softly kissed it and rested it on his cheek. “That’s okay; I can accept weekly payments.”

[glare-gryphon]

May I put in a prompt? If you're totally burnt out on this verse, just ignore this. In the Negotiation-verse what would it be like if instead of the whole drugging and kidnapping business, they ended up sorting out the kiss and dating. Anakin has no idea his boyfriend is a serial killer. Could be serious, fluff, total crack or hell it could be Quin mocking Anakin about his hickies. I don't care.

This prompt has been sitting in my inbox for so long. I am almost ashamed.

Here u go.

Alternative

Negotiation-Verse

M/E, 2000 words.

A sharp rap at Anakin’s office door draws the detective’sattention away from the mountain of reports piled up on his desk. With no majorleads to chase at the moment, he’s been working on filling them out all morningand is grateful for whatever reprieve that the day can provide.

When he’d first become an officer, he couldn’t believe howmuch paperwork was involved in the day-to-day operations of a police station.He’d hated it then, and he still hates it now. Usually he tries to shove it offon Quinlan whenever he thinks he can get away with it, but Ventress has sweptVos away for some business conference she has to attend overseas and now Anakinis stuck catching up on both of their overdue reports. He supposes thatturnabout is fair play, no matter how much he would like to complain otherwise.

“Come in,” he calls, swiveling his office chair toward thedoor just in time for it to crack open, revealing one Coruscant Universityprofessor, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Is now a bad time?” Kenobi asks, leaning against thedoorframe with a wry smile on his lips, as though already predicting Anakin’sanswer.

“Never a bad time for you,” Anakin replies, moving files offhis desk in attempt to clear a place for Obi-Wan to sit while the other mancloses the door behind him. He doesn’t here the soft snick of the lock, caught up as he is in his work, but he doesnotice the smirk on Kenobi’s lips when the man settles into the space hecleared. “What brought you over this way, babe?”

Obi-Wan shrugs. “Had a class cancelled, and just wanted tosee you. I don’t need an excuse to do that, do I?”

“No, I suppose you don’t.”

Apparently satisfied, Obi-Wan turns his attention to thefiles on Anakin’s desk. While it is technically against the rules for Kenobi tobe thumbing through them as though they were magazines in the checkout lanes ofgrocery stores, Anakin doesn’t see any particular harm in it. His partner isdiscreet, and isn’t the type to go blabbing about the detective’s cases toanyone he knows. Not like their social life is particularly riveting anyways,with most of their friends connected to the police force by way of Anakin’semployment. Really, there was no one to gossip with who wasn’t already in theloop; while Obi-Wan was popular enough with his coworkers, he didn’t maintainany particularly close relationships with any of them.

“Why was your class cancelled?” Anakin asks as Obi-Wanshifts paperwork around, digging through them to find something that catcheshis interest. Most of what is on Anakin’s desk these days is common muggingsand break-ins. Tedious work, but essential toward keeping the generalpopulation of Coruscant safe. He sometimes thinks he would like something moreexciting, but the more rational part of him knows that there will plenty ofthat come the Christmas season. He should spend the off months luxuriating inpicking up petty thieves instead of internal organs.

A hum of satisfaction marks Obi-Wan having found somethinghe likes, and the man answers with his nose buried in the pages of the file.“Not enough students registered. Apparently my Survey of Shakespeare coursedoesn’t have quite the same draw as it used to.”

“Kids today have no respect for the classics,” Anakinreplies, not because he himself has any particular interest in the works of along-dead playwright, but because he knows Kenobi likes to grumble about thedecay of society and youths today.

Leaning over in his chair to get a view of the file hispartner is reading, Anakin is not particularly surprised to find the Negotiatorfile in the man’s hands once again. Since the start of their relationship, he’sshown a keen interest in following along with the case as Anakin attempts totrack down the most prolific serial killer prowling Coruscant’s streets. Thisis hardly uncommon; nearly everyone he’s ever met are curious about theNegotiator case, as high-profile as it is.

“Do you think you’re any closer to catching him?” Obi-Wanasks, drawing a picture from the disorder and holding it up to the light asthough to get a better look.

It’s of one of the latest cycle’s crime scenes, another ofAnakin’s not-quite brothers left brutalized and bared for the world to see. Thepattern has changed again, much to Anakin’s frustration. While before they knewthe Negotiator was luring his victims with sex, the seduction seems to havetrailed off entirely with his newest set of victims. In its place are drugs—thecheap kind, easy to get on the street and difficult to trace for their prolificnature—slipped into drinks at busy clubs with distracted bartenders.

The level of brutality in thesemurders had risen with the exclusion of sex, each victim bearing more of thebruising and evidence of assault only sporadically found in older victims. Thescenes themselves had changed as well, no longer as careful and precise as theyonce were. Not rushed, by any means, or sloppy. Not enough to leave evidencebehind. But Anakin, when he looked at the cuts and the gaping, open wounds,could tell that each one had not been given the same carefulconsideration they once might have received.

“Not really,” Anakin confesses, and Obi-Wan frowns as he draws another picturefrom the file. The Negotiator’s pattern had always been consistent, its onedrastic change clearly instigated by Anakin arrival on the case. What hadcaused this most recent change, he can’t quite figure out. There are a fewpieces, in the rush of his work, but they connect to nothing of significance.No events that Anakin can identify.

“Made a bit of a mess, didn’t it…” the man mutters distastefully, more to himselfthan to Anakin as he grimaces at the picture. It had been a mess, blood usuallydrained away left cool and tacky on the floor and of the county library. Limbshas been shelved neatly away with the books, the head and heart sitting on thelibrarian’s desk when police arrived. There was no note for Anakin, nor hadthere been one this whole cycle. He’s unsure whether or not this comes as arelief that the targeting has stopped, or as warning that his nemesis had begunto lose interest in their game.

“It was messier than usual.” Anakin informs his partner. “I told the guys—Ithink he had a workstation somewhere, and for whatever reason, he can’t getback to it as much anymore. He’s having to work on fly, and it’s not as cleanas it might have been otherwise,”

Obi-Wan hums thoughtfully, offering the younger man a wry smile as he replacesthe picture and sets the file aside. “Perhaps he has someone to go home to, atthe end of the night.”

Anakin chuckles at the jest. “Is there true love for serial killers?”

“There’s true love for anyone, if you look within the pages of literature,”Obi-Wan replies, leaning over to run his fingers through Anakin’s hair.“Princes and paupers, knights and beggars.”

Anakin doesn’t resist when his partner uses his grip on his hair to draw himover, leaning eagerly across the desk and into Obi-Wan’s space. “Cops andserial killers; you and me,” the man breathes, and pulls Anakin into a kissthat is anything but chaste.

Obi-Wan, he has come to find sincetheir initial encounter, is an excellent kisser. When they’re together, it’slike the world around them fades away, as cliché as it sounds. He never used tothink it a thing that could actually happen, but when it comes to Obi-Wan, hesupposes it makes sense. The man himself is almost a cliché at times, seeminglywalking straight out of Anakin’s teenage wet dreams. It’s easy to lose himselfin Kenobi—so much so that he almost doesn’t notice the man sliding off thedesk, shuffling around to where Anakin sits, until he’s upended from his chair.Until Kenobi is bending him over the flat of his desk, tugging his pants downand freeing Anakin’s achingly hard cock from the confines of his slacks.

Another cliché.

“You planned this,” Anakin accuses when he hears the distinctive sound of a capopening. He tries to turn around, but the hand at the base of skull, pinninghim to the desk, only presses harder to still the movement.

“More hoped than planned, really,” Obi-Wan replies calmly, even as Anakin bucksin surprise at the sensation of cool lube drizzled between his cheeks. “Iconfess that this has always been a fantasy of mine, and when you mentionedDetective Vos stepping out of the office for a few days, well… I am quite theopportunist, my dear.”

“You do know you’re supposed to discuss these things with your partner first,right?” Anakin grumbles, but still finds himself pressing back against theslick fingers that have begun to work him open. “What if somebody were to walkin? You’re not the only one in demand of my attention, you know.”

Obi-Wan curls his fingers in a way he knows Anakin likes, dragging a raggedmoan that the detective has to stifle with his fist when the man’s actions sendpleasure racing up his spine. “The door is locked; if you’re quiet, no one willever know what we’re up to.” He murmurs as leans forward, nipping at the shellof Anakin’s ear. His fingers slip from Anakin’s hole with a last stretch, thesound of a zipper being undone quickly following. “You can be quiet, can’t youdear? For me?”

Anakin nods rapidly; he can be good for Obi-Wan. As much as he’d protested, thethought of getting caught—or someone knowing—comes with an unexpected rush ofexcitement. He wouldn’t have thought himself and exhibitionist before Obi-Wancame along, but then, his new parter had proven himself talented in draggingparts of Anakin to the light that he hadn’t even known were tucked away.

“That’s a good boy.”

Breath coming in excited pants, Anakin adjusts his grip on the desk as Obi-Wanslicks himself up. He has to bite down on his lower lip as the man spreads hischeeks, the blunt head of his dick pressing up against Anakin’s stretched hole.The feeling of Obi-Wan pushing into him is a familiar sensation now, but heremembers what it was like the first time they made love. Remembers how nervoushe was, splayed out on the man’s bed. Remembers how gentle his partner hadbeen, as though Anakin would shatter if handled too roughly.

He is not always so gentle now, not that Anakin minds, and today is noexception. He gives Anakin time to adjust of course, aware of the length andgirth of his cock, but once Anakin pushes back against him in unspokenpermission, he quickly finds a pace that has the younger man’s hips biting intothe edge of the desk with every thrust, that keeps him pushing back and takingObi-Wan deeper simply to stop from sliding up into stacks of papers he hadn’tcleared aside when this encounter began.

One of Obi-Wan’s hands lays over his own as the man thrusts roughly into him,their fingers entwining, and Anakin realizes that his palm lays on the openNegotiator file that Obi-Wan had set aside. His eyes catch for a moment on thepale, bloodless faces of his unfortunate look-alikes, and something twisted inthe back of his mind wonders if they liked what the Negotiator gave them. Ifthey enjoyed being stretched and filled and taken the way he enjoys being underObi-Wan. If they regretted it in those moments before he killed them, or ifthey even had a chance to think about it.

When they’re done, clothes adjusted and Obi-Wan sweeping from the door with alast kiss goodbye, Anakin has to close the file and stow it away in a drawer ofthe desk he’d just been taken over. Must throw himself into the work despitethe lingering scents of sweat and sex, to keep his mind busy. Must think ofother things, despite the feeling of Obi-Wan’s cum leaking from him, because ifhe doesn’t, he can’t help but wonder what would happen if the Negotiator foundhim, and if he’d like it too.

[withered-pages-blog]

Liar 14/? (Tom Riddle Jr/Voldemort Imagine)

(A/N: Are you excited to have Matt as your Professor because I SURE AM OKAY.)

Your morning was going surprisingly well despite the events the night prior. Not once did you hear a single peep from any of your Slytherin housemates or anyone else for that matter, for the most part, people ignored you as best they could while you sat at the end of the house table.

But still, you dreaded it more and more as the hours ticked away, classes passed and you had two left for the day. Charms, which you had no problem with, and Care of Magical Creatures. You hoped you wouldn't see Sterling there, but considering he'd apparently visited you in the hospital wing, you probably would.

The thought made you anxious and soon you could feel moisture forming on your face, limbs feeling heavy and light all at once. You were careful not to make eye contact with anyone, eyes forward, back straight, face hard - you wanted to appear stronger than you were currently feeling and from the looks or lack of looks you were receiving it was working just fine. That, or you'd gone back to being irrelevant to the rest of the school.

Charms was something you didn't really struggle with but conjuring like the rest of your students was. You struggled tremendously to conjure objects and failed every practical test you'd been given, only passing the class because it was the only thing you lacked. Slipping into a seat unnoticed in the back of the classroom, you waited as other students came in and out of the room until your whole class was present and organized.

Arms folded in on your desk, you rested your head between them and closed your eyes for about a fraction of a second before a thundering crack landed right next to your ear and you nearly jumped through the ceiling, eyes wild and frantic, blood rushing to your ears and muscles stiff as a board.

"No sleeping in my class, Y/N." Tutted Professor Brook, his hand wrapped around an old pointer. You looked up at the man and took a long breath before nodding, "Sorry, sir."

The man hummed as he passed, twirling that old stick between his fingers mindlessly as he began to speak. You tried to zone out for the majority of the quirky professor's class but each time you did, he'd bring you right back in with the call of your name. "Y/N, would you like to demonstrate?"

Blinking rapidly and clutching the sides of your chair, you slowly nodded. "Sir?" The brunette smiled at you, "We're revisiting some spells from last year's class, if you remember," his voice was playful and light which helped calm your nerves. You never did like being picked out of a crowd.

"Levitation being one of them." Professor Brook winked at you as you rose from your seat, retrieving your want from your robe pocket and clearing your throat, "Yes, sir."

Squinting your eyes and scanning the room, you raised your wand and with a gentle swish and flick, recited your incantation. "Wingardium leviosa."

A pile of books rattled before rising from one of the front desks in the class, loose pages gliding about carelessly as you continued to hold your spell. For a moment, Professor Brook just stared at you before a broad smile crept across his thin lips ."Very well done, Y/N. I didn't think you payed much attention."

Snorting, you spoke up, "Didn't we learn this in our first year, sir? Why are we revisiting the easy spells?" A few students joined in on your laughter, jokingly demanding harder charms from behind their desks.

"You'd like a harder one, then? Alright," the brunette pursed his lips in thought before clapping his hands together and he kicked a small foot stool from beneath his desk into sight, crossing his arms and watching you carefully. "Bit small for me."

You blinked at your professor and he blinked back at you tauntingly before your lips formed a small 'o' and you smiled, "Engorgio." Your wand pointed, the wooden stool began to grow in side until it was about the same size as a regular desk chair and Professor Brook smiled at you, "Very good."

Ego swelling, you smirked and straightened your back, feeling much more confident than you had at the beginning of the class. "Give me another?"

"I think you should think of this one. Come on, something fancier, Y/N." Brows furrowed in thought, you flipped through the pages in your mind until you found something that you found particularly difficult in your third year and took you multiple practical lessons to actually get mastered.

Arm outstretched and wand pointed carefully, you called clearly at that irritating pointer that your teacher tormented you with, "Carpe retractum."

With the motion of a whip, the pointer came flying towards you until it was pointed menacingly at your face, inches away. You blushed as the class laughed at you, "Do be careful."

"You've proven me wrong so far, but I have something much more difficult for you, Y/N. Last one if you can pull it off," Brook joked, leaning back in his chair, "I'm sure it's difficult dozing off in my classes while I'm speaking. Wouldn't it be much easier to sleep if I were being quiet?"

You blinked, "You want me to - "

"Silence me, yes." He flashed you that same playful smile and you shook your head, "Sir, I couldn't."

Professor Brook leaned forward and placed his hands on his desk, "Couldn't as in you're incapable, Y/N? You can't cast this spell?" He taunted and you frowned, "Of course I can."

"Then do it."

You bit your quivering lip and raised your wand to your teacher, your professor. This felt so wrong and you felt as if you were somehow disrespecting the man by even considering this. Your arm felt weighed down as you clumsily waved your wand and as you parted your lips to speak, you thought of Abraxas. You thought of being cornered by him in the library, being silenced and being attacked - it scared you, which effected your magic.

"Silencio." You muttered, barely even moving your wand at all. Nothing happened, of course, not even a pathetic little fzzz. Just nothing.

Professor Brook frowned lightly at you, "Again. With feeling, this time."

The brunette stood and with the wave of his hand, his pointer returned to his side, tapping random things on his desk as he spoke. "Blah blah blah," he droned sarcastically, "boring boring boring."

"Silencio." You flicked your wand harder this time, but still nothing happened and the man continued to speak, though he motioned for you to go on.

"Silencio," you felt heat rise in your chest as you motioned again and again at the man, about to speak again when you were interrupted by the old bell at the top of the castle.

Students filtered out of the room without the permission of Brook but he barely noticed as his eyes were on you - you, the usually unfazed Slytherin that sat alone at the end of your House table at meals and announcements and at the back of class, tucked away from prying eyes.

He knew something was wrong, even if he didn't know you as well as he knew others. Brook did tend to favor the more popular students, the more gifted and as you were neither, the only time he took the time to notice you at all was when you slept during his class. Which was always.

Slumping into your seat and sighing in defeat, you began gathering your things when Professor Brook approached, sitting in the empty seat next to you. "Y/N," he started, voice now void of any playful hint at all, "I've seen you cast that charm many times."

You sighed, "I'm just tired today, Professor. I'll try harder." The man shook his head and let out a soft chuckle. "You're always tired, but even I can tell something is bothering you."

Chewing the inside of your cheek, you gathered the rest of your belongings and stood up, "I'm fine, sir." You quietly muttered a 'thank you' before turning to leave, not noticing the sad smile that followed you. "If there's anything I can do, don't be afraid to come and visit me."

The air outside the classroom was much colder and you shuddered softly, stiff legs carrying you outside of the castle where you stood beneath an archway that overlooked the court yard. Eyes taking in the Quidditch stalls off in the distance where several students flew about practicing the sport and then overlooking the Old Forest which despite the season, was always shrouded in a thick layer of fog, eerie as ever.

You didn't have much time before your next class and for a brief moment you wondered if you should just skip, but cringed at the idea. You'd gotten into enough trouble this year already and it had barely started, there was no way you'd get away with skipping class.

Turning back into the open entry of the castle and quickening pace, you cursed yourself for taking so long to get there. Care of Magical Creatures was usually held outside regardless of whether classes were practical or theory, outside the other side of the castle. The bell thrummed again and you broke out into a full on sprint, cussing as the last groups of students filtered into their classrooms and leaving you alone in the halls.

"Shit, shit," you hissed, gripping the thigh of your slacks and raising them as you did the previous class, preparing to trek through mud and muck to get there. You turned a corner and let out a relieved sigh as you neared an exit to the far side of the castle, you'd be a little late but that was better than a lot late.

Legs slowing until you were at a comfortable stride, you slipped past a fellow student, so fixated on the sun shining in through the glass surrounding the archway outside that you didn't even notice who it was. Only when a voice called to you did you realize - your heart dropped farther than it had in days. "Y/N, wait," Sterling called and you whipped your head around to look at him, "What are you doing, Mathers? Class is this way."

The Ravenclaw looked careful, cautious as he spoke to you. "Not today, it isn't. We're at E-13 today, Professor Dumbledore is substituting."

You said nothing as from head to toe, you glared at every exposed inch of Sterling and he shifted uncomfortably under your gaze, "What happened to Kettleburn?" You asked warily, turning and slowly taking his side.

You felt your pride shrivel as the two of you began to walk together, you hated that you were in the company of a boy that had attacked you days prior to Abraxas. As far as you were concerned, the two of them were in the same boat, now.

"Professor Kettleburn is in Greece right now. I'm not sure what for, but until he comes back we have Dumbledore." He filled you in politely as he had when you first met and you walked in an uncomfortable, intimidating silence. You were too angry at Sterling to be afraid of him, or maybe you weren't afraid because you'd been toe-to-toe in his glorified broom closet and lived.

You could feel his green eyes on you every so often and it was beginning to get on your nerves - it was obvious he wanted to say something. Apologize, maybe? Let's start over, Y/N. Let's be friends, Y/N. You rolled your eyes at the thought and Sterling definitely noticed, taking a deep breath before reaching out and taking your arm.

Quickly pulling yourself from his grip, you glared at the Ravenclaw. "Don't touch me unless you want to lose your hand, Mathers." Even you were surprised at just how venomous you sounded and it took effort to keep yourself composed. "Y/N," Sterling frowned at you, "We need to talk."

"No, we don't. We need to go to class." You spat, patting down your robe like he'd dirtied it with his touch. "What happened in the library - "

"Is none of your bloody business, Mathers. Stop talking." Taking steps so large you must have looked ridiculous, you neared the classroom and ignoring the Ravenclaw's protests, pushed the door open to an empty classroom.

The gentle click of the door's lock had you turning, hand reaching into your robe without a word. Sterling was standing, back to the door and staring at you with not an ounce of animosity in his eyes and you hesitated.

"What is this?" You felt your fingertips caress your wand's edge as you watched the boy, who didn't even make a move under your hard glare. "I said we needed to talk."

You thought it over briefly before speaking again, "Then talk." Eyes followed Sterling's every move and he flashed you an apologetic look. "I hope I didn't hurt your head too much the other night," he took a step closer to you, "In the library."

You weren't sure whether to feel angry or relieved as he continued, "It was me, Y/N. I wanted to tell you after it was all over but I can't just waltz into the Slytherin common room and it seems like you've been hiding there."

You gawked at him, completely dumbfounded at his confession. "You were the one who attacked me in the library? Not Malfoy?" Sterling raised a finger to his lips and you hissed, "Don't shush me! Are you mad?"

The brunette sighed, "Please keep it down, Y/N. I didn't mean for it to go that far but I did what you asked, didn't I?" You shrieked in response, "I did not ask for you to assault me, you idiot! You couldn't have gotten him to leave me be any other way?"

"It worked though, didn't it? The Headmaster doesn't ever take anything that goes on between you and Abraxas seriously. It's been going on since I came to Hogwarts." He argued and you seethed in anger, "How would you know?" "Everyone knows, Y/N. For God's sake you two never stop."

You were silent for a long time. Regardless of how little Sterling knew you as a person, he was right about this. Nothing ever came of your complaints to the Headmaster, nothing ever stopped Malfoy's constant harassment and nothing would have happened if he hadn't attacked you in the library - if Sterling hadn't framed him for attacking you in the library.

This was all too much for you and you blinked away tears, breath hitching in your throat as you stumbled back into a desk, resting against it. Sterling didn't say anything, he just watched you sob in the dark classroom until you were finished.

"I did what you asked, Y/N. He won't bother you again." He reminded you, much closer than he was a moment ago. You looked up at him through teary eyes and the olive-skinned boy looked apologetic. "I'm sorry I frightened you."

"You did far more than frighten me, Mathers." You laughed, "I should have known when you hexed me without a wand that you weren't Malfoy, he's about as smart as a bag of snails."

Sterling's sad expression weakened as he laughed with you, "You noticed?" Humming in response, you wiped your eyes and smiled at him despite your anger, it was dulling. Sterling had attacked you but you reasoned that it was in your best interest and were already beginning to forgive.

"How did you do that?" You asked, lashes still heavy with tears. "Polyjuice potion." Mathers fake-gagged, emitting another laugh from you that you quickly tried to shake off. You wanted to be angry at him for what he'd done since it was never your idea in the first place, but it hardly mattered now. You should be thanking him, you haven't seen that snot-nosed brat since.

"I truly am sorry that I took it so far," Sterling frowned again, his eyes deep with regret. "I knew that if I'd discussed it with you previously, you might not be able to pull off your part."

You couldn't help the smirk that crossed your face, "Are you saying I'm a bad actor?"

The Ravenclaw turned away from you with a chuckle, "I think regardless of how talented you may be, it was definitely a powerful show of emotions - it was impactful." It stung a little to hear Sterling talk about the encounter as if it weren't so traumatizing, but you tried to ignore it.

"I wasn't lying about Kettleburn being in Greece, by the way, but we don't have a substitute today, free period." A part of you was glad there would be no class today as you were far too emotionally drained to show your face anywhere, let alone participate in activities. You patted your puffy cheeks and sighed, following Sterling from the classroom and into the halls.

"Good."

[beepbeepprichieee]

Remember Me

Chapter 2: Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Word count: 3,120

Chapter 1

Lol sorry for any typos I just really wanted to get this up today and I type super fast

——————————————

Richie wasn’t a stalker, nor did he plan on becoming one or ever has been one. He only knew what room the boy lived on because he saw him moving in. However, he still felt very stalkerish when walking down the hall and up to the said boy’s door. He wanted to be friendly. He hadn’t met anyone who he was actually interested in even possibly being friends with until this kid. Richie wasn’t even totally sure why it was him specifically but he felt drawn towards him. He couldn’t even explain it to himself. In a way it felt like a magnet was pulling him in. This was strange because Richie is very good at detaching himself from people and things but he hasn’t been able to shake the tugging feeling in his gut.

So here he was, standing in front of some (kinda) random persons door, about to knock and feeling like a slight creep. He raised a closed fist to tap on the door but it opens just before he has the chance, and a small framed body bumps into him lightly and the jumps back a little. Richie smiles brightly at the shocked look on his face.

“Good mornin’ sunshine.” He says adding a southern drawl to his words. Then continued in his normal tone of voice after getting no response. “As soon as I walked out yesterday, I realized we didn’t actually introduce ourselves. So, hi.” He shoves a hand out in front of him. “I’m Richie Tozier.” He wiggled his fingers a bit to try and get him to accept the handshake but the boy only stared back at Richie blankly for a few seconds before speaking.

“Eddie Kaspbrak.” Richie’s head fogged up after hearing this. He had met someone with that name. Maybe it was a similar...name? Eddie took the extended hand and shook it, interrupting Richie’s thinking and attempt to recall any memories of the name. Eddie smiled up at him with sealed lips.

“Maybe I didn’t tell you my name because I didn’t want you to know it.” Richie withdrew his hand and stepped back a bit, shoving the hands deep into the pockets of his jacket.

“It’s a little late for that suga.” Eddie stepped into the hall, ignoring the comment, and shut the door behind him. He began to walk away but Richie jogged to follow. “So what’s your first class?”

Eddie responded quickly, “Calculus.” Richie nudged him with his elbow.

“Hey! Me too. You know what this means right?”

“I won’t be rid of you as quickly as I thought?” He sounded very unamused. Richie hooked his arm through Eddie’s.

“Nope! Now you have someone to sit next to in class. I mean you know how nobody ever knows anyone in class so you just sit by yourself and it’s a little awkward? Well now you have a friend to sit by. You’re welcome!” Jesus Richie never shuts the fuck up. He knew how annoying he could get, his father never let him forget it, but he just couldn’t help it. As annoying as he knew he was that wouldn’t stop him. It took so much effort to tone it down. He tried his best though because sometimes he was just too much for people. He looked over at Eddie who now held a strong smirk.

“What made you think we were friends?” Richie felt a buzzing excitement grow in him. He fucking loved when people played along with his bullshit as stupid as it sounds. It was a form of validation that he needed, one of many.

“Well, you haven't told me to fuck off. So, I take it you like me.” They were almost to the classroom now.

“Okay. Fuck off.” Eddie opened the door.

“Ah, but you see Eds, I know you don't mean that. You only said that because I said something.”

“That’s not my name. Impressive, you forgot already considering I told you about five minutes ago.” Eddie slid into a seat and Richie sat directly to his left, very close to him. Richie starts pulling out his old laptop from his messenger bag and he can feel Eddie’s eyes on him as he does. When he turns back around to face Eddie, he feels some heavy deja vú. He can’t think about anything except: This has happened before I’m so sure of it. That is, until Eddie speaks up, voicing his exact thoughts.

“Did you just get some serious deja vú just now? Because I did and what the fuck that was spooky.” He looks flustered. Richie was very quick to answer.

“Yes.” They stayed in the silence for a few minutes, trying to recall a memory of this, a memory of anything really. But nothing came to mind. For once Richie didn’t know what to say. They stayed like this for the remainder of class. With Eddie constantly shushing Richie when he made a dirty joke. Eddie caught him staring a few times (Richie couldn’t not stare) but didn’t call him out on it until after he caught him the third time.

“Wow, I’m just that pretty, you can’t look away?” Richie looked away, feeling his face heat up. He didn’t know Eddie noticed the staring. He tried not to stare but it was difficult. At least he wasn’t alone there, whenever Richie looked away for a second, Eddie’s eyes were immediately on him until he looked back. They continued with this, more jokes, more shushing, the staring. They both seemed to be greatly enjoying the other company. They stood after the professor dismissed the class and made their way to the door.

“So. Would you consider me your friend now? Because we did just sit and talk for a whole ass class and oh, well, I don’t know you really seemed to enjoy my being there. Just sayin’.” He gave Eddie a lopsided smile. God he was a little too cocky sometimes. Richie received an eye roll and a sigh alone with the response-

“Fine.” Eddie looked over it on the surface but there was a little smile playing at the corners of his mouth (no Richie was not looking at his mouth, no sir), threatening to show itself.

“Really?” He raised his eyebrows at the smaller boy. Another sigh was delivered.

“Yes. I don’t have any friends here because I moved out of state. And if I get past the mom jokes, I actually like you.” The smile made an appearance and Richie felt his chest tighten.

“Well a’right, it’s settled ‘en.” He didn’t mean to say it in a british accent but when he was nervous he did the voices a lot more often and unintentionally. He dropped the voice forcefully and continued. “Glad I could be your first.” He winked, and Eddie’s cheeks went pink but he still maintained his nonchalant expression. Eddie turned and went left, raising his hand to wave goodbye without turning around. Like he knew Richie was watching him. Richie went right after he was out of sight.

——————————

Richie went through the rest of his classes that day like normal. No more deja vú or weird flirtatious encounters, and no more Eddie. After his final class, and he was back in his dorm room, Richie slid off his shoes and fell face first into his twin sized mattress with a groan. His last class was probably his latest out of the rest of them through the week, it ended at 9:30. Richie had always been more of a night person, so he chose an evening class. He focused better at night. It was sometimes a curse. He thinks so much more at night and that brings on the insomnia. That and nightmares. This was all something he had struggled with for as long as he could remember. He would get little to no sleep because his head was so full, and if he did sleep he had horrible nightmares. He can’t remember the nightmares once he is awake, but he does remember the fear he feels in them, that sticks with him long after he is awake. He jolts up in bed, shaking and in a cold sweat. He’s not able to shake the feeling for days and he would get too scared to sleep.

So there he was, laying face down on his bed with his glasses crooked and smushed. He was indeed tired, there was exhaustion running through his body. It was tugging him into unconsciousness and he did his best to fight it. Richie had a particularly terrifying dream a few nights ago and since then he has put off sleeping besides naps for as long as possible. He couldn’t stop the feeling of comfort and relaxation the swept over him and he unwillingly drifted off to sleep.

His heart was beating in his throat as soon as he heard the cry of pain from below him. And he couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t he fucking breathe? Richie was sure it was Eddie’s voice. It echoed through the whole house and into the room Richie was still in. He needed to move. Move! He concentrated on making his legs walk out of the room. Once he managed to get out he was met with Bill who looked just as frightened as Richie felt. They kept down the stairs together and stood with the rest of the losers, all looking at Eddie cradling his arm and backed into a corner with that horrible thing, with It, looming over him. It turned the other 6 kids and lunged towards them.

Richie sat up so fast he probably got whiplash. This was the second time this week. He stayed hunched over in bed for a few minutes, trying to steady his breathing and erratic heart rate. After it became somewhat normal, he threw his sweat soaked shirt off and lied back on the bed. There was something different about this dream. He remember something. He actually remembered something. It was Eddie. He was in Richie’s dream, but he was younger. He tried to recall what was happening in the dream but fails. All he knows is that Eddie was definitely there.

He was still trembling when he brought his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. He remembered Eddie. Why Eddie? Why would he be present in such a horrifying dream? Richie reached over to the night stand, pulled a cigarette out of the package, and lit it once against his lips. He exhaled slow and shaky then ran the free hand through his matted curls. He kept his hand tangled in his hair and lied awake the rest of the night.

—————————

Eddie liked to think of himself as a calm and collected person. If his anxiety didn’t get in the way he could keep his cool and that was a quality he took pride in. Now even with this helpful attribute, he was not calm right now and there was no fucking reason as to why.

He was sitting on his bed alone with a text book open across his legs and The Smiths was playing softly through his Bluetooth speaker in the corner of the room. He had probably read the same sentence three times over but he just couldn’t retain the words that his eyes scanned over. Again... Richie had asked Eddie if they could study together one day at the end of their shared class. The two had become good friends over the course of a week. They were now very close and it happened in such a short amount of time it was kind of astounding how quickly they clicked. It was so easygoing. Richie said he would stop by and come to Eddie’s dorm to study together. According to Richie, he needed help. However, Eddie was pretty skeptical of this, he had seen Richie in class and he seemed naturally smart. Of course, this didn’t stop Eddie from saying yes. He really did enjoy Richie’s company, more then he thought he would, and more then he would like to admit. He couldn’t figure out if this was a good thing or a bad thing. He didn’t want to become dependent on anyone. He wouldn’t do that, it’s fine...he won’t let that happen.

There was a rhythmic knock on his door and Eddie snapped out of his thoughts to get up and open it for nine other then the man of this thoughts. Richie stood in the doorway wearing a rainbow knit sweater and the signature black jeans with clunky boots and bright blue painted nails to tie the whole look together. He looked exhausted, Eddie couldn’t help but focus on the bags that stood out from under his eyes. He felt a pinch in the back of this throat.

“G’afternoon Eddie Spaghetti, looking as cute as ever on this fine Friday of September.” He gave a two finger salute as he entered the room. Making himself right at home, he flopped down onto Eddie’s neat bed. Eddie cautiously sat down next to him, keeping some distance between them as an attempt to listen to his previous thoughts.

“Not my name.”

“Yes it is and you love it.” He reaches up to ruffle Eddie’s hair. Eddie shoved the arm away before he could mess it up further and shifted the book back in front of him as Richie took his boots off.

“Okay so, I was thinking we could start off with the theory of... what are you doing?” Richie was pulling the sweater over his head and his white undershirt had ridden up with it, exposing the smooth skin underneath. Eddie had to resist the urge to reach out and out his hands there and move them up, up, up... He forced his eyes back to Richie’s face.

“It’s hot in your room.” He threw the sweater over the back of Eddie’s desk chair. “I mean I get that it’s September and all, but it’s really not that cold out yet.” He settled himself back on the bed and put his head on Eddie’s lap where the textbook once was. Eddie made a note of what was happening but didn’t dare move. They stayed in this position and talked for awhile. They started off with study materials but got distracted easily and moved on to other subjects; they talked about their roommates, music, their families, a few high school things, touching just on the surface of each subject, careful not to go too into depth. It was all just so easy, it was so easy to talk to each other. It was comfortable.

“You’ll never guess it. I’m telling you, give up now.” Eddie said with a smirk. His hand had ended up playing with the ends of Richie’s curls subconsciously. Richie was trying the guess Eddie’s top three favorite bands and or artists of all time. He had only gotten the first two so far, The Smiths and David Bowie. These were too easy to figure out, Eddie’s playlist he had going currently gave him away.

“Is It Beach Boys? I feel like you would like them.” Eddie tapped his forehead with the back of his hand playfully.

“No it’s not. Wrong again, I’m telling you to give it up.” Eddie carted a hand through Richie’s hair at the roots and felt the boy relax over his legs and sigh softly.

“Hey Eddie, you wanna know something?” He asked completely dropping the previous subject. Eddie stiffened some when he heard the change of tone in his voice. He swallowed.

“Yeah sure.”

“You were in a dream I had the other night.” Eddie laughed lightly at this.

“Ha. Was it a sex dream? More importantly, was I any good?” Richie’s mouth grew into an intoxicating smile.

“Well I don’t remember it, but it sure as hell can be if you want it to be.” The smile lingered for a moment and then a more earnest look too hold of his sharp features. “It’s just that. I don’t remember it. I don’t ever remember them. But this time was different because when I woke up, I remembered something. And that something is you. You were there.” Eddie’s eyebrows were now furrowed in thought after hearing this.

“Tell me about them. What do you know about these dreams? When they occur and stuff.” Richie nodded and moved on the bed until he was sitting in front of Eddie with his long legs crisscrossed. Richie proceeded to tell him about how he has had nightmares for a long, long time, for as long as he could remember. And how they were so terrifying that he tried to stay awake to prevent them and that’s what brought the insomnia. And how no matter how hard he tries, he can’t remember anything from the dreams.

Except me. He remembered me. Eddie thought. When Richie finished, Eddie didn’t know what to say. He was biting his finger nail nervously and trying desperately to find the right words somewhere in his mind. He wanted to help Richie so badly. Eddie hated to admit it but listening to Richie talk about this -something that obviously bothered him deeply- broke his heart. He has to help.

“Richie. Why do you think you remembered me?” That was a pretty good place to start, Eddie thought so.

“I’m honestly not sure. Maybe because I trust you? I value you greatly as my friend, and my subconscious was telling me to go to you- someone I trust -for advice.” Richie was looking down at his hands instead of Eddie’s eyes when he spoke. Eddie watched him take his glasses off and nervously clean the lenses with the end of his tee shirt. Eddie took the glasses from his hands and breathed on the glass to fog them up and clean them better.

“I’ll help you Rich. In anyway I can. I trust you too. I don’t know why I trust you so much. It’s strange because I’m normally... I don’t know... closed off I guess. But I do trust you and I will do whatever I can to help.” Eddie offers a warm smile and puts the frames back onto Richie’s face, accidentally brushing his cheek when he pulls his hand back.

“Thank you Eds.” And Eddie is taken aback a little by how sincere he looks and sounds right now. Like he is giving himself up and Eddie can really tell he means it when he said he trusts Eddie.

“You’re welcome.” They are silent until Eddie speaks again. “Okay well we should probably actually do some studying because it’s 9:45 and we haven’t done anything.” Eddie grabbed the long forgotten textbook and Richie rolled onto his stomach to listen.

———————————

Thank you so much for reading!!!❤️ Let me know if you have any notes or comments or anything! and if you would like to be added to the taglist!:)

Taglist:

@raspberrywind

@beep-beep-richuce

@earthvsjai

@iambouttasmash

@reddiexxmileven

@lolidontknoweither

@rrichiettozier

@geckolover001

@im-demogorgeous

@hawaiiantozier

[ranwing]

Kadam Fic: Learning to Fly (5/?)

Title: Learning to Fly Series: A New Direction (was Season Four Remix) Pairing(s), Characters(s): Kadam, Kurt Hummel, Adam Crawford, Burt Hummel, Rachel Berry, Santana Lopez, Carmen Tibideaux, Cassandra July, Artie Abrams, Tina Cohen-Chang, Elliot “Starchild” Gilbert, Dani, Adam’s Apples, Original Characters Rating: PG13 Genre(s): canon divergence. Parts: 5/?

Summary: As another school year starts at NYADA, Kurt seemed to have it all. The respect of his teachers, a group of wonderful friends and best of all, getting to live with the man that he’d come to love. So of course the universe would throw a few curve balls in his direction.

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four

On AO3

As dedicated as Kurt was to his education, he would be the worst liar in the world if he tried to claim that he was in any way disappointed to receive voice mail from Professor Collins regretfully cancelling their morning voice session because of an emergency dental appointment.  Having a chance to enjoy a quiet morning and a leisurely breakfast at home like a normal human being rather than just grabbing a coffee and muffin on the go while he rushed to class was just too rare a luxury not to take advantage of.

Adam had already left for his morning shift at the café, leaving Kurt to laze in bed for a bit before getting hungry enough to seek out something to eat. He whipped up some scrambled eggs and toasted a few slices of whole grain bread. Sitting on the couch in his pajamas with his breakfast and coffee while he watched the morning news and did a little frivolous net surfing was a luxury he almost never got to enjoy.

He was nibbling on some grapes that he’d found in the fridge when his Skype app pinged for his attention. He grumbled in mild annoyance, not really wanting to be bothered when he had so few occasions to truly relax but opened the program to see who was trying to contact him. He was surmised to see that it was Adam’s mother. He mentally calculated the time difference, noting that it would still be well into the work day for Ellie Crawford and it was not typical for her to try contacting them from the office. They usually got calls from her or her husband in the evening, when Adam was at home.

Hoping that there was nothing wrong, he checked to make sure that he was semi-decent and that his hair wasn’t doing anything particularly crazy before opening the link to accept her call.

“Good morning, Ellie,” he greeted cheerfully as Adam’s mother appeared on his screen. “Or rather, good afternoon for you.”

Ellie Crawford smiled warmly at her son’s boyfriend. “Good morning, darling! I hope that I’m not disturbing you.”

“Not at all,” Kurt assured her. “One of my classes got cancelled so I’m having a bit of a lazy morning.”

“Lazy? You? Perish the thought,” she laughed brightly.

“Is everything okay?” he asked curiously. “Adam’s not home and…”

“I know, love. I just wanted to touch base with you,” she explained. “I had a little bit of a lull on my calendar today and I saw that you were on line. I can ring up my favorite American lad every now and then, can’t I?”

Having been on the receiving end of her affectionate behavior numerous times since their first formal meeting, this out of the ordinary call really wasn’t too surprising when he thought about it. Her smile was infectious and Kurt couldn’t help from relaxing. “Of course, you can,” assured her, settling in so he could balance his laptop comfortably on his knee.

“Adam’s been telling me that you have all kinds of exciting things happening at school,” she declared. “Getting such an important role in your school production at your age… that’s so thrilling.”

He couldn’t help from smiling at her enthusiasm towards his achievements. “Well, it’s a lot of work. Adam’s always worried that I try to do so much, but I can’t help it. And it seems to be working in my favor for the time being, so…” He just shrugged.

Ellie chuckled fondly. “He cares about you, love” she pointed out. “He just doesn’t want you to overextend yourself.”

“I know he does. I worry about him too,” Kurt assured her. “He’s got so much to focus on with his new job and I just want to take as much pressure off him as possible so he can concentrate on what he needs to.”

Ellie nodded, appearing thoughtful at his statement. “And how are you handling things?” she asked, showing sincere concern for her son’s boyfriend. “I know that Adam working out of town is not exactly going to be convenient for you.”

Kurt sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It won’t be so bad,” he claimed. “I’ve got a dorm room reserved for next semester, which will probably give me more time to focus on my studies. There is a bit of an advantage to living at school with everything going on.”

“Oh, I’m certain, darling,” Ellie agreed. “But it’s going to be a bit of a shock, going from having your own place to more communal living.”

Kurt just shrugged. “I’m sure that it’ll be okay. I’ve got a single so I’ll have my privacy,” he assured her. “So long as the showers aren’t too disgusting, I’ll manage.”

“Well, if you need anything, you be sure to let us know,” Ellie reminded him. “I’m always ready to send a care package now that I know what tea and jam you like.”

Kurt couldn’t help from laughing. “Ah, you’ve discovered my secret,” he confided. “I’m only with Adam for the steady supply of tea and jam.”

Ellie laughed brightly, shaking her head in mock admonishment. “Oh, you scoundrel!” she accused dramatically. “Using my poor lonely boy so cruelly.”

“Well he’s returning the favor,” Kurt teased. “Abandoning me when I need him most.”

Ellie’s laughter quieted and her gaze turned more serious as Kurt’s deceptively light words sank in. “Darling, you know that he’s not abandoning you,” she insisted. “He adores you so much.”

“I know he does,” Kurt said soberly. He blinked in surprise when he realized what he’d just said. “I never doubted that. I… I don’t know why it came out like that.”

Ellie eyed him sympathetically, her voice taking on a soothing tone. “Talk to me, love,” she urged. “Are you really all right with Adam taking this job? You can be honest with me.”

Kurt looked at her image on his computer screen, seeing her sympathetic gaze and felt incredibly disappointed with himself that he’d allowed his darkest thoughts to slip out so casually. “Of course I am. Ellie, I really do want him to do what’s best for himself and I’m so proud that he got cast in that part,” he insisted with absolute honesty. “I’m not blind to the challenges it’s going to make for the both of us, but we’ll have to deal with them.”

Ellie nodded understandingly. “I know you will, darling,” she acknowledged gently. “I just worry about both my boys.”

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling. “My dad is the same way,” he admitted. “He tries not to be too overbearing and lets us live our lives but he does watch out for us. Adam included.”

“Then you won’t mind if I want to make sure that you’re going to be all right,” Ellie stated. “I know that you’re both big boys and can take care of yourselves, but this is a huge change for the both of you. And I can’t help from feeling that not everything is quite as rosy as you are pretending it to be.”

She smiled at him reassuringly. “Don’t forget, I am a solicitor. I’m very good at reading people.”

Kurt sighed, knowing that she had him nailed. “Ellie, please believe me… I support Adam in this one hundred percent,” he claimed ardently. “This is so important to him and the last thing in the world that I ever would want is for him to think that he should have turned down the job because I’m being childish or insecure.”

“Darling, it’s perfectly normal to feel uneasy about being separated for such a long time,” she assured him kindly. “You shouldn’t punish yourself for that.”

Kurt bit his lower lip, not sure of just how much he wanted to tell her. “I don’t know how much Adam told you about the relationship I was in before we met,” he started uncertainly.

“Only that things ended badly,” she answered. “And that you were taking things slowly at first as a result.”

Kurt nodded, grateful once again for his boyfriend’s consideration. “I was with someone for nearly two years. We met in high school and I was very much in love with Blaine. But he was a year behind me and after I graduated and came to New York, he didn’t respond well. I was only away for a few weeks when he told me that he’d been with someone else.”

Ellie didn’t comment at first, but her gaze was easily readable event through the computer screen. There was a hint of anger at the boy who’d hurt him, but more concern over how that betrayal had impacted him.

“Sweetheart, Adam isn’t like that,” Ellie reminded him gently. “He adores you.”

“I know that he does,” Kurt insisted. “And I trust him more than anyone except my father. Believe me, it took a long time for me to get to that point. I don’t trust easily under the best of circumstances and after what Blaine did…

“But I knew that wasn’t being fair to Adam, making him deal with something that Blaine did to me,” he acknowledged. “He deserves so much more and I’ve worked very hard to not keep putting my Blaine issues on our relationship. I know that Adam would never something like that to me.”

“Then what is it that’s upsetting you so?” Ellie asked softly, her eyes kind and expressing her concern for her son’s partner.

Kurt was afraid to look that deeply inside himself, not wanting to see that the scars left from Blaine’s betrayal might still be a bit raw around the edges. “I lost Blaine because I was too busy focusing on school and work,” he started, only to be cut off irritably by Adam’s mother.

“No, he lost you because he was an immature brat,” she stated firmly. “Don’t try to take ownership for his poor choices, love.”

Kurt had known that he still felt some sense of responsibility for Blaine’s infidelity. Even after all this time. Rationally he knew that Blaine was solely responsible for his choices, but it was still difficult to not take on the blame himself. He knew that it was Blaine’s choice to respond to anything that he did or didn’t do by fucking someone else, but that didn’t ease the hurt that still lingered. And he was so damn tired of hurting over it.

“You’re worried that Adam will cheat on you as well,” Ellie surmised, looking at him sympathetically. “Once you’re apart and busy with your own lives.”

“I know he won’t,” Kurt insisted ardently. “He is the kindest, most generous, loving man I’ve ever met. But he’s going to be out there in the real world, meeting all kinds of people who can offer him a lot more than I can. And one day I’m afraid, he’s going to realize that he’s been wasting his time with some silly school boy back in New York.”

He felt his eyes stinging and had to pause to wipe at them, angry with himself for revealing what he’d just said. Fantastic, he reprimanded to himself. He just revealed to Adam’s mother just how childish and insecure he was, absolutely ruining the carefully crafted veneer of maturity that he’d tried so hard to cultivate. Adam’s mother would now see that he was a foolish little boy and totally unworthy of being with her son.

He was surprised to see her gaze holding steady and calm, her eyes so much like her son’s as she waited for him to regain his composure. “Kurt, I’m not going to patronize you,” she promised. “I know that you have very good reasons to be fearful about things.”

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, feeling even more foolish for his mini-break down.

“Oh sweetheart… there’s nothing to be sorry for,” she claimed, looking at him fondly. “Kurt, have you spoken to Adam about any of this?”

He shook his head adamantly. “No. The last thing I wanted to do was make him think that I didn’t want him taking the job. These are my problems.”

“No, sweetheart. This affects the both of you,” she reminded him gently. “Do you think that you’re the only one worried? I know for certain that Adam’s been working himself into a tizzy over leaving you.”

“He has?” Kurt hated how weak he sounded, but he had to know. “He’s been so calm about everything… I thought that he was really happy.”

“Oh, he’s glad that he found a job,” she corrected. “He’s been very anxious about getting work since he finished school, but make no mistake his first choice would certainly have been to stay in New York with you. Darling… are you telling me that you really think that Adam wants to leave you?”

When he didn’t answer, she made an annoyed sound. “Kurt, for such a smart lad you’re astonishingly dim sometimes. He loves you and the last thing he wants to do is be away from you.”

Kurt knew that his old baggage was making a very unwanted reappearance, but he needed to get this out of his system. “I thought that Blaine loved me,” he admitted. “And it didn’t take him long to find someone else. What’s going to happen when Adam starts meeting people more on his level and I’m not there for him?”

“First of all, the idea that you’re not Adam’s equal in every way is absurd!” Ellie scoffed. “What, do you think he hasn’t been around other people before he met you? If anything, he finds them totally lacking in comparison to you so you can put that silly thought out of your head.

“I’m not going to tell you that it’s going to be easy,” she admitted. “I respect you too much for that. But I can tell you from personal experience that you can get thought this if your both willing to put in the effort.”

Kurt had nearly forgotten that Adam’s father had traveled extensively during his professional career, and he doubted that Ellie would have been able to go with him all the time. “How did you and Peter manage things?” he asked, hoping that she could give him some guidance.

Her eyes seemed to brighten when she realized what he was asking. “It wasn’t so bad at first, right after we got married. I was still in school when he first signed with the orchestra. Much of the time he toured, I was so busy with class that I didn’t have much time to miss him. And when I could join him on my school breaks it felt like wonderful holidays together.

“But after I got my degree and started working, I couldn’t go with him so often,” she admitted. “And then Melissa came along and my career started to demand more time and we would sometimes have to be apart for weeks at a time when the orchestra was touring. It wasn’t easy, having a baby to care for all on my own while managing work and a household. I’ll admit that I was very lonely much of the time and we had our fair share of fights over how often he was away.”

Kurt’s eyes softened when he realized that she really did understand what he was feeling. “How did you get through it?”

Ellie smiled at him sympathetically. “It took a lot of work on both our parts,” she acknowledged. “Phone calls as often as we could manage and just taking the time to be there for one another. We had to make staying in regular contact a serious priority, otherwise our marriage would never have survived.

“It wasn’t any easier for Peter, mind you. He felt like he was missing so much of the children’s lives while he was traveling.”

Kurt absorbed what she was telling him, understanding that he was not so unique in his situation or concerns. “Was it worth it?” he asked.

She considered what he was asking and nodded. “I think so. As much as I would have preferred having Peter with me all the time, he would have been miserable if he wasn’t able to pursue music the way he needed to. He needed it as much as you and Adam love the stage. It’s in your blood. Just like the law was in mine. It was the nature of the fields that we chose.

“And in the end, we both got our chance to grow into ourselves as individuals. Not merely as part of a couple,” she mused. “I think that we’re the better for having that chance. And because we had to spend so much time apart, we very much appreciate the time we have together.”

She looked at Kurt sympathetically, fully understanding his fears. “Darling, you both chose a field that may require you to be apart at times. This time Adam is the one who needs to travel for work. One day you might get hired for a play or a film and you’ll be the one on the road. This is something the two of you will have to work out between yourselves.”

Kurt sat silently for a moment, taking in the lesson she was gently imparting and could not feel anything other than grateful for her advice and guidance. He’d had no one around him who’d faced what he was and had their relationship come out intact in the end. There were so many examples about him that long distance relationships were doomed to end in failure that he’d forgotten that it was indeed possible for them to survive this as a couple.

Their relationship would change, for certain. But change wasn’t always bad. They could come out stronger and closer if they put in the work. And Kurt realized that he did want to make the effort in a way that he hadn’t wanted to with Blaine.

But Ellie was right. He needed to talk to Adam, and he needed to tell Adam the truth.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely. “You gave me a lot to think about.”

“I’m always here if you need to talk, love,” she promised. “We’re all so fond of you and if you find yourself needing some advice, or just someone to hear you rant and scream about things, Peter and I are here for you.

“And don’t put off talking to Adam,” she urged gently. “I know it’s not an easy thing to bring up, but you need to do it. One of you needs to take that first step.”

Kurt couldn’t help from smiling, thankful that the Crawfords were so gracious towards him. “I will,” he promised.

She gazed at him fondly and blew him a kiss. “You’ll be fine, darling. Let me know how it all goes.”

“I will. And Ellie… thank you.”

She smiled brightly. “Have a good day, sweetheart,” she urged, giving him a happy wave before turning off the connection. That left Kurt alone in an unsettling quiet with a head full of thoughts.

He knew that Adam’s mother was right. He wasn’t doing himself or Adam any favors by keeping his fears to himself. He’d always found himself able to talk to Adam, but he also had a bad habit of hiding away his deepest hurts and fears. He knew that Adam would be understanding and would try to ease his fears, but he didn’t want his boyfriend to need to do that. He needed to be able to get his own emotional house in order.

He had a few hours before Adam would be getting home from work and he had class and rehearsals to focus on that afternoon. That would give him a chance to clear his head and consider just how he was going to broach this uncomfortable subject and make some real plans on how they were going to go forward from here.

Unquestionably he had some thinking to do. Ellie had made some very good points and delaying this very much needed conversation when they had so little time left to spend together would not help them weather they long separation they were facing. It was past time for him to face up to his fears.

* * *

The flat was quiet when Adam returned home late in the afternoon. He’d worked a few extra hours at the café since he didn’t have a shift at the bar that evening and he wanted to squirrel away as much money as he possibly could. All going well, he would be able to save most of his pay from the show to tide him over until they either got picked up for a New York opening, or until another prospect came along. While it was gratifying that both his current employers would be happy to take him on again when he returned to New York, he’d much prefer not needing that type of employment.

It would be nice to have some time to relax before Kurt got home and they could maybe have a late supper. Even with all their efforts, they saw precious little of one anther most days, a fact that was troubling him greatly. They had just a few weeks until his rehearsals were to begin and before they knew it, the year would be over and he’d be leaving. But their respective schedules kept pulling them apart.

Maybe it was time to give up his bartending gig. The extra money was nice, but it was just taking up too many hours that he could be spending with Kurt. He’d already given his notice to his boss, so telling him that plans had changed and he would need to leave earlier than expected wouldn’t be a huge issue. This would leave his nights free to spend with Kurt.

Knowing that Kurt would be starving when he finally got home, Adam began to rummage through the refrigerator to see what he could cook. He frowned at the meager contents, thinking that they really needed to do some proper shopping. They both had been meaning too but their schedules had made even basic chores a challenge. Wondering if he’d have a chance to run down to the store before Kurt got home, he sent Kurt a quick text to see what he was in the mood for.

To his surprise, he got an answer almost immediately.

Am on my way home now. Will pick up dinner on the way. See you soon!

He felt a smile etch its way across his face, happy that he and his boyfriend would have an evening to spend together. That reinforced his decision to quit his second job, because the thought of possibly missing out on more opportunities like this. It just made sense for him to be a bit more flexible with his time for the next few weeks and work a bit more around Kurt’s schedule.

It was nearly an hour later that Kurt came through the door, burdened with his school bag and a plastic sack filled with take out. “Hi honey,” he greeted, barely taking a second to drop the bad before turning to Adam for a kiss. “Did you have a good day?”

“Oh, fair enough,” the older man granted, taking a moment to pull Kurt into his arms. “Mmm… I missed you all day.”

Kurt kissed him again. “Come on… I picked up Chinese and I’m starving.”

They settled on the couch in front of the television with their take-out cartons and chopsticks, Kurt settled happily against Adam’s side. Adam couldn’t help from smiling at the selection of food, seeing that Kurt had selected their favorites to share and enjoy. He handed Kurt the bowl of wontons in hot oil and grabbed the container of sesame noodles.

“Thank you, darling. This was just what I needed today,” Adam said happily as he slurped down the savory noodles. “And we had absolutely nothing in the fridge.”

“I figured we both needed a break with the way both of us have been working,” Kurt answered, enjoying the mild burn of Chinese hot oil on his lips. He reached for a container of cumin-spiced beef and dug in happily.

“Well, things might start getting a bit easier,” Adam promised. “I’m quitting my job at the bar, so my evenings will be free until my rehearsals begin.”

Kurt looked up at him, his eyes widening happily. “You are! That’s great,” he said with obvious delight.

Adam just stroked Kurt’s cheek lovingly. “I’m tired of us fighting to find time to spend together,” he explained. “It might mean tightening our belts a wee bit, but I want to spend as much time with you as I can. This way I’ll be here when you get home from rehearsals.”

“Oh honey… you didn’t need to quit your job,” Kurt insisted. “I know that my free time is kind of short right now, but…”

“No, it’s a bit overdue,” Adam claimed, quite content with his decision. “I’m going to need to quit sooner rather than later and I’d rather do it when it gives us the chance to have more time to spend together.”

Kurt felt his heart tighten at his boyfriend’s consideration. “It’s my schedule that’s out of control. I can…”

“No, darling,” Adam interrupted, taking hold of Kurt’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You need to focus on your lessons. I know that my schedule is a bit more flexible for the time being, so let’s take advantage while we can.”

Kurt tilted his head to kiss Adam warmly. “I knew that there was a reason that I loved you.”

Adam gazed down at him, his blue eyes warm and tender in a way that made Kurt feel safe and loved. “There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for you, sweetheart,” he said, his accent thick with emotion. “I hate the fact that I’m going away.”

“Adam, it’s okay,” Kurt stated insistently. “I know that you need to do this.”

“I could have waited,” Adam said softly, his eyes starting to water from the emotion he’d been holding back. “I didn’t have to take the first job offered to me.”

Kurt put down the food container he’d been holding and shifted on the couch so he could face Adam fully. He made sure to look directly into his lover’s eyes to make sure that there was no mistaking his meaning. “Adam, you need to start working on your career. You couldn’t turn down an offer just because it wasn’t especially convenient. This is what you need to do for yourself at this point.”

Adam pulled Kurt into his arms, burying his face in Kurt’s shoulder. “I hate that I have to leave you,” he said, his voice muffled slightly by Kurt’s shirt. “I love you.”

Kurt wrapped his arms about Adam, holding him close. “And I love you. Which is why I want you to do this,” he said with a resolution that surprised him. “I don’t want you to go, but the last thing that I would ever want is to stand in the way of something you need.”

Adam lifted his head to look at the younger man in his arms. “You have been so amazing,” he said with a trace of wonder in his voice. “This is asking so much of you and I’m terrified that one morning you’re going to wake up and decide that I’m not worth it.”

Seeing the genuine fear in his lover’s expression caused the reserve in Kurt to finally begin to crack. Ellie was right, he realized. Neither of them had been talking and he’d totally missed Adam’s own misgivings in his efforts to support his lover.

“You’re not the only one,” he admitted softly, hating the weakness that he detected in his own tone.

Adam blinked and pulled back slightly to look at him. “Whatever do you mean, love?”

Kurt sighed, knowing that there was no going back. “I didn’t want you to think that I’m not supporting you in this. Because I am,” he insisted. “It’s just…”

Adam’s gaze softened. “Talk to me, sweetheart,” he urged gently.

Kurt paused to gather his thoughts, wanting to make sure that there was no chance of Adam misinterpreting his meaning. “I’m afraid too,” he explained. “Let’s face it… none of my friends had any luck with trying to manage a relationship over long distance and I’m at the top of the list. I get too focused and too absorbed in whatever I’m doing at the moment. And right now, I’ve got a lot that’s going to demand my attention and I’m afraid that I’m…” His voice trailed off.

Adam bit his lower lip nervously. “What are you afraid of?” he asked softly, giving the younger man a gentle nudge. “It can’t be that bad.”

Kurt sighed and just dove in, knowing that there was no easy way to put this. “I never wanted what happened with Blaine to be an issue with our relationship,” he insisted.

“And you haven’t,” Adam assured him.

Kurt gave him a thankful but frank expression. “Not by lack of trying, I’ll admit. I hate that things he did still bother me and that I’m letting it interfere with us. I’m so happy for you getting this opportunity,” Kurt stated resolutely. “But I can’t help from being terrified that history is going to repeat itself. That I’ll be too busy with my things and you’ll be out there with all kinds of people seeing just how amazing you are and you’ll wonder why you’re bothering with a kid still in school when you can have anyone that you want.”

The confession came out in a rush, as if Kurt had to get the words out as quickly as possible before he lost his nerve. Adam felt his heart tighten uncomfortably at seeing his lover so distressed. “Kurt, I do understand but listen to me,” he said urgently. “There is no one that I want other than you. Please believe me… I don’t care how handsome or successful anyone I meet may be. It won’t mean anything because they’re not you.”

He reached out to cup Kurt face in his hand, his thumb gently caressing his lover’s cheek. “From the moment I first saw you, I was absolutely entranced. And it’s only gotten stronger since,” he promised. “Every moment that we share together just makes me realize all the more of how in love with you I am. Don’t think for a moment that I’m as foolish as Blaine and would look at someone else.”

Kurt wiped at his eyes, the expression on his face was one of profound thankfulness and once again Adam fought down the desire to seek out and pummel Kurt’s ex for betraying his trust so profoundly. That this beautiful, intelligent man should feel grateful that his lover promised not to cheat on him was just appalling, in Adam’s estimation.

“It goes both ways,” Kurt swore, reaching up to take Adam’s hand in his. “I love you and I don’t care how long we’re apart. There is no one that I want in my life more. Next to my father, you are the most important person in the world to me. Losing you would…”

He paused, inhaling deeply. “I want everything for you,” Kurt insisted. “I want you to go out there and be the star that you deserve to be. And there’s nothing I won’t do to support you.”

Adam bent his head to kiss Kurt lingeringly, taking his time and feeling his lover shudder against him. When he drew back, he looked deeply into Kurt’s eyes so that there would be no mistaking his meaning.

“I know that this isn’t going to be easy,” he admitted. “And there are going to be times when we’re both lonely and frustrated with our situation. But it’s only for a few months. I am going to come back to you. I promise.”

His broad hand stroked Kurt’s hair, savoring the feel of the silky strands slipping between his fingers. “I want you to have all the kinds of wonderful experiences that you can have while I’m away,” Adam insisted. “I want you to go out and go to parties and have all sorts of fantastic friends. Even if they’re fit, handsome blokes like that Elliot fellow.”

Kurt couldn’t help from laughing at Adam’s urging, his eyes shining as they gazed into one another’s.

“I want you to learn and grow and continue all these wonderful changes that I’ve been watching since we met,” Adam said softly. “And I can’t wait to come back and learn about the man you’ve become.”

Kurt felt a tear begin to trace its way down his cheek but didn’t bother to reach up to wipe it away. Not if it meant relinquishing his hold on the older man. “I know that I haven’t always been very good about expressing myself and not letting the past get in the way of our lives,” he said softly. “But I am trying. I want my feelings about not wanting you to be away to be strictly about missing you and wanting you to come back. Not because I’m afraid I’m going to lose you.”

Adam smiled and with his thumb wiped the tear stain from Kurt’s face. “I know that this is going to take a lot of work on both our parts, but I think we can do it. I will call and Skype you every chance I get and I’ll want to know about everything that you’re doing,” he promised. “We’re going to break that trend. I’m going to be back this summer and we’re going to have a grand time rediscovering one another.”

Kurt smiled as Adam pulled him into a tight embrace, the two of them holding on to one another as if for their lives. The knot in his chest that never totally went away from the instant that Adam had told him about his job finally began to unravel and he felt like he could really breathe again. They would beat the odds, he told himself. And they’d be stronger as a couple as a result.

Kurt knew that the survival of their relationship was no certain thing. He wasn’t so delusional as to believe that it was a foregone conclusion, not after living through Blaine’s betrayal. But they both very much were willing to put in the effort to allow their relationship to survive the changes that they were facing.

Adam was not Blaine, but likewise Kurt was not the same young man that he had been over a year ago. He knew what he wanted and Adam was a large part of that. He knew that it would be a struggle, but it was one that they face head on and together.

For now though, Kurt was content to let Adam just hold him. The future would come soon enough.

* * *

“This is the best idea we ever had,” Rachel chirped happily as she came up to Kurt’s side. Her best friend put his arm about her shoulders and pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

It had been a wonderful idea, Kurt considered as he surveyed the dining table in the loft that was already groaning with food. The living area of the loft was filled with friends, old and new, and it felt like a nearly perfect way to celebrate Thanksgiving.

It probably shouldn’t have been a surprise that no one had plans to go back to Ohio for various reasons. Travel was difficult for Artie, so he and Tina decided to postpone a trip home until the winter break to make the effort more worth their while. Santana didn’t want to be the only one to go back and would rather deal with her mother’s complaints than be left out of the fun. Fortunately the Lopez family gathering was large enough that one missing person wouldn’t mar the festivities.

“Did you talk to your dads?” he asked as he opened the oven to pull out the guest of honor. “Damn, could we have gotten a bigger bird?”

“We’re feeding a lot of people,” she reminded Kurt. “And yes, I did. They flew out yesterday and are down in Miami now. They’ll spend a few days there before the cruise sets out.”

If she was upset that her fathers decided to book a cruise and would be out of town for several weeks rather than spend the holiday with her, she made no sign of it. “They invited me to join them, but I think that they’re treating it like an extended honeymoon now that their nest is empty,” she explained without a hint of disappointment.

Kurt nodded understandingly as he covered the immense turkey with foil to rest before carving. There were several covered dishes to be popped into the oven to warm before serving. In the meantime, there were tons of snacks and hors d'oeuvres to enjoy and a chance to enjoy one another’s company before stuffing themselves silly.

The living area was good and crowded with those who had become their second family over the past months. Santana sat on the couch with her arm wrapped about her girlfriend, Dani chatting happily with Artie and Tina with Santana adding her own biting observations. Elliot and Adam were talking over by the window, drinking wine and laughing like old friends. After having eased Adam’s concerns about his new friend, Kurt was glad to see them getting along so well.

And standing next to Adam, leaning into him and laughing at Elliot’s jokes was Mercedes, who had made the long-overdue trip to visit to surprise her friends before returning home to spend a few weeks with her family. Kurt had very much missed his friend and was thrilled to have a chance to catch up with her for a bit.

He poured himself a glass of red wine and approached the trio with a broad smile on his face. “Well you all look like you’re having fun,” he teased, getting their attention. “I’m feeling left out.”

“Well, if you’d get out of the kitchen and join us instead of hovering over a turkey,” Mercedes chuckled, pulling him into a one-armed hug so that she wouldn’t lose her wine. “I was feeling neglected until these two handsome men took pity on me.”

“Well, I should have to thank them for their consideration,” Kurt chuckled, turning to Adam. He kissed his boyfriend warmly, letting Adam pull him into a tight embrace.

“This is quite a gathering,” Elliot complimented. “And I very much appreciate the invite. It saves me the drama of the annual argument between my folks over who’s place I’m spending the holidays at.”

Adam gazed at him sympathetically. “They never learned to share, did they?” he asked.

Elliot shook his head. “There’s a very good reason why they’re divorced.”

“This is a lower key party than we had last year,” Kurt advised, chuckling at the memory. “We’d invited my boss because she was at loose ends and she showed up with what looked like half the fashionistas and drag queens in New York City.”

Mercedes laughed. “Only half the drag queens?” she asked teasingly.

“That was enough!” Kurt insisted, his eyes sparkling with good humor. “We were sweeping up glitter for the next week!”

Adam laughed riotously, nearly dropping his glass. “How did I possibly miss that?” he asked teasingly.

“I’m afraid that was before we met,” Kurt answered regretfully. “A shame about that, because I think that Miss Chantelle would have loved you. And she had the most stunning legs.”

“Not better than yours,” Adam corrected, nuzzling his nose against Kurt’s throat. “Impossible.”

Kurt looked about the room, seeing those he was closest to enjoying themselves and shook his head. “I like this better,” he claimed. “I mean, we had a total blast but I’m glad to have everyone here this year.”

Mercedes just smiled and kissed her friend on the cheek, leaning into him.

���Mercedes here was telling me about her album,” Elliot explained. “I’ve got to say that your friends are pretty amazing, Kurt. A recording deal, two accepted into NYADA, a film student and someone in NYU… all from one show choir group.”

Kurt looked to Mercedes, who gave him a knowing smile. They were very aware of just how special their group of friends were. To have so many intensely talented people in one school and drawn together almost by happenstance was nearly too much to be believed. It was even more outlandish when one considered Quinn’s Ivy League acceptance and Santana’s own budding music career.

For all of William Schuster’s flaws as a teacher and a choir director, he had the wisdom to give his intensely talented students a place to grow. None of the would be where they were without that and whatever misgivings they might have had over favoritism and how the choir was managed, they were grateful for the opportunities they’d had.

Rachel came over and touched Kurt on his shoulder to get his attention. “We’d better start  getting dinner on the table before we fill up on snacks. I mean, we’ve got a lot of food.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Kurt chuckled. He looked to his boyfriend and Elliot. “You two want to help?”

With the promise of a veritable feast, the group broke off from their conversation and hurried into the kitchen to help ferry platters and bowls of food to the table. Dani took over the task of carving the immense turkey, skillfully slicing the breasts before moving on to take off the legs and thighs and neatly arranging them on the waiting platter.

“Where did you learn to do this?” Kurt asked curiously, snagging a bit of meat and taking a taste and raised an eyebrow at the seasoning which clearly showed Santana’s influence. “Last time we tried this, it looked like a crime scene.”

Dani chuckle, placing the carving knife in the sink. “Dad taught me,” she explained. “He got really good carving turkeys for holidays on whatever base he was stationed at since we ended up with at least a few dozen birds for the crew.”

“Where is he stationed now?” Mercedes asked curiously.

“Okinawa,” Dani answered. “I love my folks, but there was no way I was going to fly halfway around the world for Navy turkey.”

Santana’s eyes softened a trace, and she reached over to touch her girlfriend’s arm. She knew that Dani had been a military brat and living in New York for school and work had been the most stability she’d had her entire life. It was one thing to be apart from family by choice, but it was a different matter when your family was halfway across the world the way Dani’s were.

Kurt knew that Adam had to endure the same kind of separation, but he seemed to find solace with his relationships, professional and personal, here in New York. He hoped that his presence, and the way his friends had pulled Adam into their tight-knit little group offered some measure of comfort to him.

As if to answer his concerns, Adam leaned over to kiss him on the cheek as he took the seat next to Kurt. “I’m glad that we did this,” he admitted, placing his napkin neatly across his lap. He kept one arm on the back of Kurt’s chair, wanting to maintain the casual contact between them.

“So am I, but I thought that you wanted to do the holiday with just us,” Kurt said. “Making our own traditions.”

Adam smiled, looking about at the happy group taking their seats about the table. “This is making our own tradition. A wonderful meal with the family that we’re making of our friends. And we’re together.”

He leaned close to kiss Kurt again. “That sounds like the best tradition of all, to me.”

Kurt felt his cheeks warming. “I think that you’re right,” he answered softly.

He looked about the table, seeing the smiling faces of friends old and new taking their places. The dishware and glasses were all mismatched, and some were a bit chipped about the edges. The silverware was a collection of random styles and Kurt was entirely sure that the salt and pepper shakers had been stolen from the diner that Santana and Rachel had worked at.

Much like the people seated around the table, he considered. They were a varied and mismatched bunch who had little in common but a love of performing. They had come together and formed friendships that had their bumps and outright fights and resentments that could last for years, but managed to survive and become stronger. These were people that he loved as much as his own family and had become another family to him in their own right. Kurt knew that he would make many friends over the course of his lifetime, but he doubted that he would ever be as close as he was to this select group.

Rachel took her seat at the head of the table and accepted a glass of wine from Tina. “Well, everything looks amazing,” she complimented. “And before we get started, I thought that we’d engage in a little tradition that my fathers started. Before we ate, we would go around the table and everyone gets a chance to say something that we were thankful for from the past year.

“So I guess that I start us off… I’m thankful for all my friends being here today,” she said happily. “The past year was really challenging in a lot of ways and that I’m thankful that you managed to put up with me when I was at my worst. I know I didn’t deserve your friendship a lot of the time, but I’m ever so grateful to have it now. If I can’t be with my fathers, there’s no other people that I’d rather spend the holiday with.”

They went about the table and there were expressions of thanks for things large and small. For friendships and a warm welcome and delicious food. Artie was thankful for finally being in a place where his talent and aspirations were the first thing associated with him, not his handicap while Elliot and Dani both expressed thanks again for the warm welcome that they’d found and their hopes for continuing these new friendships in the coming year.

“Yeah, can we hurry this along?” Santana growled irritably. “I’m getting hungry here.”

“Santana, aren’t you thankful for anything?” Rachel pressed, a knowing smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’m thankful that we’re going to be eating soon and that I didn’t let you ruin the turkey.”

Adam gave her a fond smile, having long since reached an understanding that the young woman hid her tender feelings in a cloak of barbs and jabs. He thought that he could read her rather well by this point and knew that she would never be able to show real vulnerability in front of an audience. It just wasn’t her way.

“Well, since it’s my turn I’ll make this quick,” he promised. “Not quite a year ago, I got my first look at the most remarkable creature. And since then, he’s given me so much to be thankful for. I’ve found love and support and new wonderful friends. His family has welcomed me and he’s made this past year the happiest and most fulfilling I’ve ever had.”

Kurt looked up at Adam, his eyes warm with the love he felt for the older man. Despite a long history of masking his vulnerabilities, Kurt had no problem with expressing his feelings of love and friendship before others. He smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Adam’s lips before speaking to the others at the table.

“This time last year, I was in a pretty miserable place,” he admitted. “I got turned down to my dream school and except for my internship I didn’t feel like a whole lot working in my favor.”

Adam squeezed his hand reassuringly, silently letting his lover know that he was there for him.

Kurt’s expression softened into a warm smile. “Things really shifted not long after that. I got into NYADA and I have so many wonderful friends, old and new, that have made my life so full. I have a wonderful family that supports me every step of the way. And I have the most amazing man that I love with everything I have in me.”

He looked into Adam’s eyes, hoping that the older man could see just what he felt towards him. “I couldn’t be more thankful for what the past year has brought me.”

He needn’t have worried. Adam kissed him, not caring that they had an audience. Kurt made a contented sound when he felt those strong arms tighten about him, pulling him as close as he could manage in their chairs.

“Oh God… enough already!” Santana snapped, snatching up the bowl of Kurt’s sweet potato casserole and dumping a large spoonful onto her plate. She then grabbed for the serving tongs and went for the turkey.

“Um, I didn’t get my turn,” Tina pressed, but the older girl shook her head and demanded that someone pass her the gravy.

“Nope… time’s up,” Santana stated firmly, pouring a generous spoon of gravy over her turkey and looking about for whatever struck her fancy.

Rachel looked at her in amusement and shook her head. “I guess that’s our signal, guys,” she chuckled, watching her roommate shovel a heaping forkful of sweet potatoes into her mouth. “Can someone pass the veggies?”

The meal was delicious and reflected the diversity of the individuals enjoying it, yet somehow it all came together. Santana’s Latin spices on the turkey were nicely balanced with mole-style gravy and Rachel’s traditional cornbread dressing. Kurt closed his eyes, savoring the flavor of the vegetable casserole that Elliot had brought.

“Elliot, you have got to give me the recipe for this,” he insisted. The creamy mixture of fall vegetables in a lightly spiced cream sauce was a perfect complement to his sweet potatoes.

“I did a variation of a korma recipe,” the older man explained as he served himself some mashed potatoes and added a heaping spoonful to Dani’s plate. “I changed up the spices to fit in more with what we’d been eating.”

“It’s delicious,” Tina agreed, dipping a piece of bread into the sauce. “Everything is so good.”

The conversation flowed with the wine and good food as they stuffed themselves nearly to the point of a stupor. Mercedes looked over to Kurt as he served himself a third helping of dressing and turkey and shook her head in astonishment.

“How are you able to eat so much?” she demanded teasingly. “Your man there barely ate half of what you did.”

“I don’t even try to keep up with him,” Adam laughed, giving his boyfriend a playful nudge.

“Don’t poke him! He might explode,” Tina exclaimed, holding up her napkin as if to shield herself from an imminent shower of food.

“Oh, you are all hilarious,” Kurt complained, but the glimmer in his eyes confirmed that he wasn’t at all offended. “Can someone pass the cranberries?”

Dani moved to pick up the bowl in front of her to hand to Kurt, but was stopped by Santana. “No way… you get your hand to close to him and he’d probably eat it,” she warned. Using an oven mitt for protection she gingerly nudged the bowl towards Kurt, taking care to remain a safe distance away from him.

Kurt accepted the dish of relish gracefully and loftily dismissed both Santana’s mocking and the laughter of the others at the table as he spooned a portion onto his plate. “Sorry Satan, but there’s only one person seated at this table who’d get his body parts eaten,” he informed her with just enough haughtiness to get a pause from some of his friends before they realized what he really meant.

Adam blushed furiously, turning his gaze to the ceiling while Mercedes burst out laughing. Rachel and Tina giggled and Artie and Elliot couldn’t help from joining in. Santana just gave him an admiring smile and let Dani pull her back to her seat. Through it all, Kurt just had a playful smirk on his face as he finished his dinner.

Once everyone had eaten their fill, they remained at the table to chat and bemoan about the amount of exercise they were facing in order to work off the amount of food they’d consumed. Kurt let Adam pull his chair closer and place his arm about Kurt’s shoulders to hold him close while they talked. Artie was all but dozing in his chair and the girls looked stuffed to the point of pain.

“Ugh… I’m dying,” Dani moaned, patting the little swell where her flat belly had been.

“We’d better start putting the leftovers away,” Rachel mused, looking at the mess on the table. “And I don’t know about you all, but I’m going to need awhile before I even want to think about dessert.”

Tina made a pained noise, holding her stomach. “Oh please… no more food.”

“Wait until you see what Adam baked,” Kurt teased gently. “You’re going to want to find room for that.”

Once the leftover food was packaged and tucked away in the fridge, they got all the dirty plates and glasses off the table and loaded into the sink. Adam quickly took over, rolling up his sleeves.

“We don’t need everyone here for this,” he explained. “Why don’t you all go for a walk? You’ll feel better and by the time you get back, I’ll have this done and we’ll be ready for dessert.”

“Are you sure?” Rachel asked. “That’s awfully sweet of you, but…”

“I insist,” Adam said, smiling. “Take Kurt with you. He looks like he can use a bit of fresh air.”

Dani looked over to Santana. “I really need a walk,” she said almost plaintively, earning a quick kiss from her girlfriend.

“Alright everyone… grab your jackets,” Santana ordered. “Let’s waddle off some of this so we don’t get so bloated that we gross out the rest of the neighborhood.”

Kurt got his jacket and wrapped a gray scarf elegantly about his throat before going over to his boyfriend for a hug and a kiss. “We won’t be long,” he promised.

“Take your time, love,” Adam urged, giving Kurt a smile.

“I just don’t want to be away from you,” Kurt answered back, taking hold of Adam’s shirt and pulling him in for another kiss.

“Are you coming or not, Hummel?” Santana demanded. “Lord Byron will be here when you get back.”

Adam laughed, giving Kurt a gentle nudge. “Go on, you. Before it’s time for Christmas.”

Kurt sighed, reluctantly joining the others. Dani was slipping on her coat and noticed that Elliot had made no moves to join them.

“Aren’t you coming with us?” she asked, slipping her hand into Santana’s.

He shook his head. “Nah… I’ll hang out here and help Adam,” he advised, giving her a smile. “You all go have fun.”

“Thanks, mate,” Adam said appreciative. “We should be able to get this done in no time.”

“If you’re sure,” Dani said, grinning as she was pulled along with the others.

“Have fun!” Elliot called out as he joined Adam in the kitchen. “What can I do to help?”

“Why don’t I rinse while you load the dishwasher?” Adam suggested as he surveyed the pile of dishes. The dishwasher was a rather new, and very deeply appreciated addition to the loft since Kurt had moved out. It made sense, with so many people living there and keeping different schedules. The convenience would make their lives much easier, and he made a mental note that this would be a must have in his and Kurt’s new flat when he got back.

The two men worked efficiently, loading up the plates, serving bowls and silverware into the machine and setting it to wash. They then tackled the platers, wine glasses and roasting pan, Adam washing them by hand and Elliot drying. Between the two of them, they managed to get the kitchen and table cleaned and ready for dessert when the others returned.

Adam turned on the oven to warm the pies sitting on the counter before turning to Elliot. “Want a cup of tea while we’re waiting? Or coffee? I’ll put on the kettle.”

“Sure, that sounds great,” Elliot said agreeably. “Thanks.”

He watched the Englishman move about the kitchen, clearly knowing where the tea and coffee were stored. Adam filled the kettle, setting it on the stove and set the coffee maker to brew a pot. He got out mugs and turned to Elliot.

“We’ve got an assortment,” he advised. “Any preferences?”

“Is there any chai?” Elliot asked.

“I think so… Ah! Here it is,” Adam exclaimed cheerfully, finding the box and dropping a teabag into one of the mugs and selecting Earl Grey for himself. “Santana is absolutely addicted to the stuff so I figured there had to be some about.”

Elliot couldn’t help from smiling. “You certainly know your way about here,” he noted pleasantly.

Adam chuckled in amusement. “I ought to, for all the time I spent here before Kurt moved in with me,” he explained. “If he wasn’t at my place, I was usually here.

“And I got rather fond of his roommates. They’re a pretty formidable lot.”

“Yeah, I kind of noticed that,” Elliot laughed. “They do tend to stick together. I was meeting Dani here once and it was like facing the Spanish Inquisition. You’d think they’d remember that I’ve known Dani for years before she met Santana.”

“There’s a lot of history there,” Adam said sagely. The kettle began to whistle and he lifted it off the burner, filling their mugs. “All of them faced a lot of challenges and even when they squabble, they’ll have one another’s backs.”

“They are definitely something else,” Elliot said admiringly.

“Kurt especially,” Adam insisted. “But then, I am biased on the subject.”

Elliot looked thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to figure out how to say something. “Adam, I like Kurt a lot. But as a friend,” he insisted. “I didn’t want you to get the wrong impression of my motives.”

Adam nodded understandingly. “I know. And it’s okay. Really,” he assured the other man. “I’m glad that Kurt will have friends to distract him while I’m away.”

“A lot of guys wouldn’t be so accepting of someone hanging around their boyfriend,” Elliot insisted. “Especially when they’re not around.”

Adam went to the refrigerator for milk and got out the sugar bowl. “Kurt and I had a talk about things,” he explained as he prepared his tea to his liking. “And while I’ll admit to having some reservations, I know that he’s going to need his friends over the next few months and I’m not going to dictate who he can have around him.”

Elliot spooned some sugar into his tea and poured in a healthy splash of milk. “I knew that you two were really solid, and even if I wanted Kurt like that I’d never stand a chance,” he claimed. “And it’s not that Kurt isn’t totally amazing. I mean, he’s talented and he’s seriously hot but I’m not the home wreaker type.”

“Elliot, it’s okay… you don’t have to convince me,” Adam insisted, sipping his tea. “I’m glad that Kurt has you for a friend. In fact, there’s a favor I wanted to ask you.”

“Sure. Whatever I can do,” Elliot claimed, leaning against th kitchen counter.

Adam looked down into his cup, studying the swirl of tea as he gathered his thoughts. “Kurt has a habit of taking on too much and burying himself in commitments. Especially if he’s trying to distract himself from something that bothers him. I know that he’s a grown man but with school and work and rehearsals, I’m afraid that he’s going to neglect himself. He puts everything else first and I don’t want to see him get overwhelmed or burned out because he tries to do too much.

“I just want you to be there for him,” he explained. “To be his friend and watch out for him. Make sure he comes up for air every now and then. Drag him out for a bit of fun or to parties… anything to give him a bit of diversion. In all honesty, as much as I love Kurt’s friends, they do tend to focus on themselves a great deal of the time and if Kurt insists that he’s doing well, they might not see that he needs a bit of extra attention. I just want someone to be looking out for him since I can’t.”

Elliot nodded. “Definitely. I really like hanging out with Kurt, and I’m kind of honored that you’re trusting me with him.”

Adam chuckled ironically. “I trust Kurt,” he clarified. “Completely. Even if you weren’t totally honorable in your intentions, I know that Kurt would keep things from getting out of hand.”

Adam wasn’t blind to how other men saw Kurt, and if he were a less secure individual it would be easy to find all that attention his boyfriend gathered threatening. The only way they would be able to manage was for him to trust in Kurt and he’d never been given cause to doubt the younger man’s loyalty. Even if Elliot was hoping for a relationship to extend beyond friendship, Kurt would have no difficulty making sure that his boundaries were respected.

He was at first worried that he might have offended Elliot by placing his trust in Kurt, but the other man didn’t seem bothered at all. Elliot seemed to understand that Adam was entrusting someone that he barely knew with something very precious and gave Adam a reassuring smile. “I get that, and I appreciate your honesty,” he acknowledged. “I like Kurt a lot and I’ll help out any way I can.”

Adam smiled back. “That’s all I can ask for.”

Adam put the pies he’d baked into the oven to warm while Elliot set out plates and cups for when the others returned. The two settled on the sofa to enjoy their tea and chat while they waited. Now that he had cleared the air with Elliot, Adam felt a great deal better about things and he knew that Kurt would have people there for him. And Elliot was a really nice fellow. He could see why Kurt was drawn to the charismatic man and Adam found himself liking him more and more.

By the time the loft door opened, heralding the return of the others, the loft was filled with the delicious scent of cinnamon and baked apples. Kurt hurried over to Adam, his cheeks rosy from their walk in the brisk fall air and all but threw himself into his boyfriend’s arms.

“Hello there, love,” Adam said cheerfully, giving him a quick kiss. “Did you have fun?”

Kurt nodded, his eyes bright and cheerful. “Yes, but I missed you,” he pouted playfully, giving Adam a coy blink of his eyes.

“You cheeky little...,” Adam murmured, tightening his embrace and ignoring the others in the room until Santana loudly cleared her throat.

Adam looked up at her, cocking an eyebrow at her bemused stare and how she had her arms wrapped casually around her girlfriend. “If we wait for you and Cock Robin here to get your mack on, we’ll never get our dessert,” she pointed out. “And Thanksgiving isn’t Thanksgiving if I don’t get my pumpkin pie.”

Elliot couldn’t help from laughing. “I think you’ve got your marching orders,” he advised the Englishman, who gave a dramatic sigh in response.

“I suppose so,” he said with an air of exaggerated resignation. Giving his boyfriend a quick kiss, he went to the kitchen to retrieve his pies from the oven. The walk had apparently reinvigorated the appetites of his friends and it was best to appease them as quickly as possible.

* * *

It felt odd to be able to wake up so late, Adam thought as dressed for the day. Six o’clock might not seem especially late to most, but when he had a morning shift at the café he had to wake up at an absolutely obscene hour in order to get there before the breakfast crowd. That would not be a consideration he would have to face for a very long time. He would still have hard work and long days, but now they would be focused on preparing for his show’s debut, not just keeping a roof over his head.

Kurt was coming out of the bathroom, freshly showered and wrapped in a flannel robe that was just ratty enough to look stylishly shabby. He approached his boyfriend and turned his face up for a kiss. “You look very handsome,” Kurt complimented, looking Adam up and down.

Adam smiled, pleased that his appearance met Kurt’s approval. He needed to be dressed comfortably in clothes that he could move easily in since he’d be at rehearsal all day, but tried to incorporate some of the little touches that Kurt liked. A soft scarf was draped about his neck and he wore a set of braided leather bracelets on both wrists. His hair was pleasingly tousled, probably in need of a trim but Kurt so enjoyed playing with his curls that he’d been putting it off. As if having read his thoughts Kurt reached up to run his hand through Adam’s hair, smoothing the curls behind his ear.

“Nervous?” Kurt asked, his voice gentle and loving.

Adam couldn’t help shrugging. “Would you think I was silly if I said that I was? At least a little.”

Kurt smiled and shook his head. “Not at all. I’d probably be freaking out myself. Just a bit.”

Adam sighed and pulled Kurt into his arms, pressing his face into Kurt’s hair and savoring the scent. The herbal component from the shampoo he favored that left his hair like silk. The tang of citrus from his favorite body wash. And beneath that, the clean and unique scent that was entirely Kurt’s. It comforted him in a way that nothing else ever could.

“Why don’t you go pour us some coffee?” Kurt suggested. “Let me get dressed… I’ll be ready in just a minute.”

Adam nodded and gave him a quick kiss before retreating to the kitchen and got their mugs out of the cabinet. Their coffee maker was set on a timer so that there was always a fresh pot waiting when they woke up and made starting their day just a bit easier. Adam prepared their mugs, adding milk and sugar to their preferred tastes and sat down on the couch to wait for Kurt to join him.

They sat quietly together, holding hands as the enjoyed their coffee and what time they could have together before their day began. “What’s on your agenda for today?” Adam asked. Kurt was outfitted in some of his better casual pieces that could easily be accented with a few accessories to make it a bit dressier. “Going in to the office for a bit?”

Kurt nodded. “I promised Isabelle that I’d come in to finish those edits for her and I’ve got my session with Madam Tibideaux. Then rehearsal this afternoon so I’m not quite sure what time I’ll be getting out.”

“Me neither,” Adam mused. “How about whoever gets home first texts the other and we’ll play dinner by ear? We can always bring something in if one of us is getting home too late.”

Kurt nodded in agreement. “That sounds like a good idea. I’m not going to lie… I’m getting spoiled seeing you so much in the evenings now.”

Adam wrapped his arm about Kurt, holding him close as enjoying the luxury of being able to. However rigorous the next month promised to be, it was a far cry from having two jobs to manage.

‘I should get going,” Adam said with a trace or reluctance, not wanting to leave Kurt just yet but he knew that Kurt would need to leave shortly themselves. Having a somewhat more predictable schedule didn’t mean that they both wouldn’t be very, very busy.

Kurt kissed him and went into the kitchen where he brought out of the refrigerator an insulated bag. “I packed some things for you,” he advised, handing Adam the sack. “There’s a bottle of water there. And some fruit and snacks.”

“Darling, I’m sure that we will be getting meal breaks,” Adam reminded him, but Kurt shook his head.

“I know, but you’re going to be working hard and you need to keep your energy up. Just… take it. Make me feel better.”

Adam smiled and pulled him into another hug. “Thank you, sweetheart,” he said softly. “I don’t know how I’d get through this without you.”

Kurt handed him his jacket and tote bag. “Do you have everything you need?” he asked. “What about your book?”

Adam double-checked for his script, finding it in his bag where he’d placed it last night. “Yup… I have everything,” he assured Kurt. “I’m all set.”

Kurt reached up to smooth his hair back again. “Go and show them how amazing you are,” he ordered. “I can’t wait to hear all about it when we get home.”

Adam kissed him gently. “You have a good day, love,” he urged. I’ll see you tonight.”

“Call me when you get a break. Just to tell me how everything is going.”

Adam nodded. “I will, sweetheart. See you later.”

Shouldering his bag, Adam forced himself to leave the apartment and hurried down to the subway to catch the train to the theater district. He wanted to leave himself a bit of extra time to find the building and so that he wouldn’t be the last to arrive, very much wanting to make a good impression. The production had reserved a rehearsal stage in a large warehouse-like building where many shows were developed. It was his first time in this particular space and having the reality of what this job entailed was finally starting to hit him.

He checked in with the security guard and was advised that their room was up on the third floor. Taking the lift, he felt his body starting to quiver with pent up excitement. Walking down the hallway, he found the door with a piece of paper taped to it with the name of his show.

Butcher’s Bill – Cast and Production Only.

This was it, he realized, taking a deep breath to steady his nerves before opening the door and stepping inside.

The room was very much like a large dance studio, with polished wood floors and a mirrored wall. But there were no barres and at the center of the room was a large rectangular table with enough chairs for a good-sized group arranged about it. A small group of men were already seated there, drinking coffee and eating muffins or bagels as they chatted and reviewed their scripts. Adam immediately recognized Edward Keen, the director off the play talking to an older man that Adam thought he recognized from his audition but couldn’t remember if they’d ever actually been introduced.

Mr. Keen looked up at Adam’s entrance and got up to greet him. “Good to see you again, Adam,” he said cheerfully, shaking Adam’s hand. “Excited to be getting started?”

“Very much so,” he admitted, giving the director a smile. “It’s been a long time coming.”

“Definitely. Well, we’ve got some more people that we’re waiting for, so why don’t you something to eat? We’ll start as soon as everyone gets here.”

“Thank you,” he answered before going to check out the food set out buffet style on a table pushed up against the wall. Servicing himself a croissant and some fruit salad, he got a cup of coffee and took a seat at the table where he was greeted warmly by the other actors. They were all young men around his age, and while most were American he was pleased to see that he wasn’t the only refugee from the United Kingdom in attendance. They introduced themselves and chatted casually as the last of the group arrived and took their seats.

Mr. Keen gave them a few minutes to get settled before addressing the group. “Good morning, everyone. I’m absolutely thrilled to finally be officially starting rehearsals for Butcher’s Bill. Now before we get started I’d like to reintroduce Malcom Jellicoe, the writer of this amazing play.”

Adam smiled, now remembering the man from his audition and the actors gave a round of applause. The writer nodded his appreciation to the group, giving a brief statement about how pleased he is to see his play being brought to life but letting Mr. Keen keep control over the rehearsal.

“We’re going to be on a tight schedule since our official opening night in Boston is the eighth of January, so it’s important that rehearsals go smoothly. By now, I expect that you’re all familiar with your lines and that you should be ready to perform off book relatively quickly. Today we’ll be doing our readthrough so that we all are on the same page about the direction and feel of this show. Malcom and I will be able to give you a clear idea about your characters and by tomorrow you should be ready to dive in.

“So don’t be afraid to speak up and ask questions today,” Mr. Keen urged. “I want you all to be comfortable with your roles before we start blocking and working out the staging. Thank you all for your hard work and let’s get started.”

Adam swallowed the piece of melon he’d been chewing on and opened his script. Time to get to work.