#idk I’m just like really frustrated and tired and ugh don’t even get me started on my medication

[nanamin-nah-nanamine]

Y’all I went to all my classes

Drop praise in the chat😩

If you wanna see my daily rant it’s in the tags but if any of the subject matter makes you uncomfy then feel free to block those tags :)

[maerenee930]

random thoughts.

mostly just me rambling and kinda venting.

so many thoughts in my head and i wanna get them out but i don’t even know where to start 😣

it’s been such a long few weeks and i just feel so alone and lonely 😞

and you would think that talking to people majority of the day that i wouldn’t feel like this. but it’s not exactly like those are like genuine conversations.

and i talk with my coworkers but most of the time we get interrupted because we have a member to help. (not complaining about us having to do our jobs lol. i just meant like we don’t fully finish a lot of conversations cause we do have members to take care of.)

i know i can reach out to people.

i know i should just text people.

but sometimes i feel like it’s so hard to convey just how i’m feeling over text without worrying it sounds like i’m just super whiny or annoying.

and i know i can ask people if they wanna like facetime or hangout, i just know though that i’ve been so tired after work that most nights i don’t have a lot of energy and don’t feel like doing much after work 😓 i mostly just wanna lay down and watch tv or cuddle with someone (besides my cat lol)

and i know hanging out with someone who just wants to lay in bed and watch tv or facetiming someone who doesn’t necessarily feel up to talking that much (or needs to vent about work 😓) isn’t all that fun 🙁

i worry that my free time is being wasted. mostly because when i have a day off in the middle of the week, it’s hard to plan something with anyone cause they are probably working. (plus like most of my issues when it comes to me feeling lonely, i don’t want to bother anyone or make them feel like they have to hang out with me or talk with me 😣 gotta love anxiety, right? ugh 🤦‍♀️)

and even on my days off, i don’t have a lot of energy to do a lot. like i have plenty of stuff i need to take care of in just my room alone, but i can’t motivate myself to do it and i can’t seem to find the energy mentally, emotionally or physically to get it done (or even some of it done) 😓

so i’m just frustrated with myself. i am i intent ally but fully aware of the fact that i self sabotage myself in many many ways.

it’s like though i can’t seem to get out of my own way to do what i need and want to for myself.

i know i need outside help or another voice of encouragement to do things.

(which i realize i should be able to do that for myself and i shouldn’t rely on anyone else to be that extra push for me. i just know how my brain works though and i know that’s what works for me and really helps me.)

i think what also doesn’t help is that my free time doesn’t even really like it’s mine because it goes by so quickly and i feel like i don’t actually get to enjoy it. you know? idk if that makes any sense 😣

i know this is a thing other people go through. i know that i’m certainly not the first person to feel this way and i know that i’m definitely not and won’t be the last. and i know that at some point almost every adult feels this way in life and with/because of their job.

it’s just a tough things to adjust to. still. (i felt this way to a degree at my previous job. in all fairness, it is a lot better than it was while i was at my last job. but idk with just how tough it’s been lately, it feels pretty similar to how it did then. if that makes sense…? it’s not the same situation and the work environment is much better! but idk… maybe this is just apart of being an adult… 😞)

i just don’t want to lose what little of a personal and social life that i have.

it may not be a super active social life. but it’s mine and i love it.

and i miss it 😔😭

does this feeling ever go away? or at least get easier to deal with? does it ever feel like our time (or free or personal time) is truly ours? like even though it may be short or goes by quickly, does it ever get better or back to feeling like our own time/our time away from work is truly ours again? where you can really let everything go and just be present in those moments and enjoy it and not have it feel like it flies by.?

or is this what life is…? like from now on and period. is this what i have to look forward to. this constant heartache or wanting to just live my life but having to wait to do so until i have the time and hopefully energy mentally, emotionally and physically to? or force myself to enjoy it even when my body and mind/heart don’t feel up to it so o don’t feel like i’m wasting it…?

is this seriously it…? it can’t be. please tell me it isn’t and that it’s not true. i mean i feel like it is, but let me for one minute feel and believe it isn’t so i don’t lose all hope and let my depression consume me even more than i feel it already has 😣😭

random side note - i’ve always felt a connection to belle from beauty and the beast, i’ve just always loved her and felt like to a degree i always understood how she felt about her town and wanting more out of her life. but now as an adult (and especially right now, “i want adventure in the great wide somewhere. i want it more than i can tell. and for once it might be grand, to have someone understand. i want so much more than they’ve got planned” has never hit closer to home or hit me more more in the feels than it does right now 😭🖤

also, i’m fully aware that pto and vacation time are things and i’m sure that helps lol. but atm i’m still a bit confused on how all of that works at my job now. especially because they pass around a calendar in january and that’s when everyone is supposed to put in their requests for their vacation and pto. but since i started in march, finally hit my 90 days back in early june and now have pto and am starting to accrue vacation (and have sick) time, how does that work for me…? especially because it’s just about august and i’m not sure how long all of that time lasts for, if i can use any of it soonish (not necessarily right away or anything. just trying to think if i can and possibly when i can cause it’s nice to think about and let myself think about having some time away from work 😅) and how do i go about putting requests in for that time? or if it doesn’t carry over, are we able to like cash in un-used days…? (my sister-in-law looked at my employee handbook and read all of this info to me about a week ago, but she read it while we were driving home from somewhere, and i was driving so i wasn’t like completely paying attention/processing what she said. and i did go over this with our hr person when we met after my 90 day performance review, but that was also back in the beginning of june, it was a lot of info for one kinda quick meeting and it’s just a lot to take in. i realize i can and should ask someone, but i’m nervous to. for many reasons. i know i have to figure this out at some point anyway so i really should just ask someone to either explain it all to me again and go over it again with me or ask them to help me better understand, but idk… i just feel stupid asking about it and o feel selfish. you know? 😣😓)

[zukuist]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞

200 followers special

includes: multiple characters (would add more tags but.. i reached 30 ;;)

your name is shortened to y/n, they/them pronouns

notes: thank you for 200 followers! this isn’t really going to be that long, but im just doing the characters i really like so ;; ALSO I MIGHT’VE GOTTEN KIRI’S ENTRY A LITTLE WRONG so ugh sorry ;;

—

shouto todoroki

— THE OBSERVANT SIMP

from the start, he’s quite oblivious to certain things, (social ques, signs of romantic interest, etc.)

but when he’s observant with someone, then that totally means you’re special to him. does he realize how much he pays attention to you? hmm.. maybe?

he’s going to be the first one that notices you’re hungry, even if you don’t realize it yourself. he’s quick to grab a snack and break it open to you

same thing with being thirsty— if he notices that your water bottle is empty, he’ll quickly find the nearest vending machine and buy a bottle.

temperature is also no problem. he can immediately tell whenever someone’s cold; but he usually helps you first

too hot? he’s slowly putting down the room’s temperature

too cold? his left palm starts emitting some sort of heat in your direction, hoping it creates some sort of aid

if your shoelaces are undone, and/or he notices that there’s a button undone on your shirt— he’ll fix it for you

will ask to take your pictures on dates, and he’ll also help you pick out the best photo (not that any photo of you is short of any beauty)

in short— people will notice that he’s actually a big simp for you; because of how observant he is with you specifically.

katsuki bakugou

— THE TSUNDERE SIMP

just because he’s simping for you doesn’t mean he’ll treat you any differently. bakugou will be bakugou, and you eventually learn how to adapt to that.

but even so, his simp habits slip out sometimes.

when he’s cooking, he’ll accidentally make too much to eat, and he’ll coincidentally put the extras in another box and hand it to you

he’s a good student, even with studies. but would he say he’s a good teacher? hm. probably not

but if he notices you need help, he’ll sigh, feining annoyance as he decides to tutor y’all, because those ‘idiots’ are hopeless

rolls his eyes when he sees food on your cheek, but he’ll grab a tissue and wipe it off for you— claiming how you’re so messy.

he’ll act like he hates hearing your ‘annoying ass singing’ but he’ll lean against the doorway and listen to you rock out to whatever song you’re singing to.

denki will call him a simp for looking after you, and bakugou will just yell at him to “SHUT UP” >:T

he secretly likes taking care of you. his words aren’t the softest thing in the world, but his actions make up to it.

izuku midoriya

— THE DETAILED SIMP

as katsuki bakugou would call him; he is a nerd

he definitely meant that as an insult, but his input on detail makes it very useful in things like relationships

he remembers every detail of your quirk, your limits, potential secret moves.

it would’ve been stalker-ish, if it weren’t for the fact that deku does this out of admiration for his s/o

so if you so happen to collapse due to overusing your quirk— deku has a detailed plan on what to do. it’s almost scary.

he puts detail in a lot of things, anniversary gifts, birthday gifts, and so on.

deku’s also the type to plan things weeks before it actually happens. like.. planning out the perfect birthday gift

and with this, his memory is really good. so it’s very unlikely that he’ll just suddenly forget anniversaries and birthdays.

i hc deku as a bad cook, so he eats takeout food more than his homemade food

but he’s takes note of your allergies, your dislikes with food— and he finds himself mumbling small details to recall what you like

when you walk out in pretty/good outfits for dates

his face will break out into shades of red— suddenly rambling all the good details of your outfit, complimenting you while he’s at it

“y/n’s looks fantastic as always. i might die from their beauty”

if anyone calls him a simp, he’ll be really embarrassed about it. “me? a s-simp? is that a bad thing?”

just tell him it’s fine.

denki kaminari

— THE HYPEMAN SIMP

a big simp

like.. really big

he worships the ground you step on, and hypes up everything you do

y’all know when irene from red velvet literally breathed in north korea, and the crowd just

*claps*

yeah, that’s denki to you

it’s so blantly obvious that he’s simping over someone, and everyone’s just kinda used to it at this point

he’s just a big fanboy sometimes

whenever you’re sparring with someone, he’s always in the background like

“go s/o!!” 🤩

and he has tendencies to go a little easy on you like.. what’s he gonna do when you get electricuted??

but that doesn’t mean he’s never serious— nah.

there are times where he’s just a little bashful just being in your presence

sneaking glances your way, as he silently fanboys about you in general.

“s/o looks really good today. they always look good but !!”

when y’all weren’t together, the bakusquad was just tired of the constant romantic pining

it was really obvious that he was simping back then, and they’re not so sure as to how you didn’t say anything about it

mina always called him a simp

so yeah!! it was a big relief when you got together with him. he never makes you feel terrible, because he’s always your #1 hypeman.

eijirou kirishima

— THE HELPING SIMP (rip idk what to call this)

i didn’t really know what kinda name i went for this one but let me carry on

kiri upfront is very confident, and friendly. he never shows a mean side to anyone,

and there are rare cases of him being bashful

he’s kinda almost like a golden retriever? since he’s always nice and friendly to everyone

but then when you enter the room; he suddenly goes quiet, and he’s left alone with his rather loud thoughts about you

he didn’t really know how to properly approach you at first

but him being kiri, he’s still rather friendly to you (for now)

when he’s messing around, practically sharing one braincell with kami and sero

and then you suddenly walk in— he snaps out of his foolishness, and greet you with his very warm smile

“hey y/n!” he waves at you, and he hopes you don’t mention the teasing look on both kami and sero’s face

sometimes when he’s doing his close combat training, and he notices that he’s getting too close to you

he’ll be like “woah man, maybe we should move locations.” bc he doesn’t wanna hit you by accident ;;

kirishima prefers to not stand near you when his hair is all spiky. like he’s never conscious about it, until he’s around you

man poked sero with his hair before, and he doesn’t want to do that to you

kiri always looks at your hand, just to see if it’s occupied with something. his thoughts linger to what your hand might feel like

“their hand looks really.. soft. argh! i shouldn’t be thinking about these kind of things in public! im sorry y/n”

bakugou really only notices kirishima’s simping ways

bakugou always mentions the fact that kirishima goes really silent whenever you’re around—

and he’s secretly contemplating on having you around more so he can just shut up 。・°°・(＞_＜)・°°・。

moving aside all of that, kiri always carries your things.

you’ll beg him to give you at least one thing, and he’ll say no because it’s “not manly to let someone carry all of this.”

if you’re sad, he’s the first one to cheer you up— reassuring you that everything will be okay.

kiri’s just wants to be at your service at all times! it’s manly to help people, right?

hitoshi shinsou

— THE DISCREET SIMP

no one would be able to tell that he’s simping for someone

because unlike kaminari; he’s not like IM HITOSHI SHINSO AND IM ACTUALLY A SIMP

he’s a lot more discreet, and no one has really caught on, besides you and kaminari of course

he’s a lot less sarcastic with you, asking you about anything that’s happened instead of just being there

he prefers it to hear you talk. the way each word and syllable rolls off your tongue smoothly, and the way you use your hands to emphasize things

he’s amused.

oh and the way he looks at you? almost any normal person can sense the simp in him pop out (he’s so contained though)

he’s definitely the person that’ll get rid of any bug that’s terrifying you— even though he’d normally just leave it to them

he’ll do it, regardless if it’s the biggest fucking spider he’s ever seen, or the smallest spider

he’ll do it to make you feel safe.

he has these random spurs of compliments during the day

the source mainly comes from his staring habit

and they’re just so unexpected and out of the blue. hitoshi’s amused whenever he sees your reaction to his compliments

like.. you could be really frustrated about something, and he’ll just go “your eyes are pretty.” that’s his discreet method tO MAKE YOU TEMPORARILY DISTRACTED FROM THE ISSUE—

call him a simp, whatever. it’s true anyway so he doesn’t why should he be ashamed of it?

he’s discreet about it, since it’s your business and his business. but you can definitely feel his feelings loud and clear

neito monoma

— THE 180 SIMP

“i’m not a simp!”

[you enter the room]

*nervous laughter*

he had his last laugh, and he never thought he’d be this soft around someone.

especially if you’re from class 1-A like.. i became the thing i hated, ugh.

relentless teasing is amped but this is his way of making sure you remember him loud and clear

but he’ll never tease you in a condescending way— like how he torments the rest of class 1-A

that’s reserved for them 💅

always compliments you, that’s the first thing he does when he sees you—

and they’re never generic compliments either

“it’s nice to see you here, y/n! you make the world better day by day!”

“i’m still wondering what you’re doing in class 1-A, you’re much better than them!”

everyone secretly wonders how you got monoma to like you

monoma canonically likes pastels. spread the word

so sometimes, you’ll walk over to your desk— and you’ll just see this random pastel ornament sitting on your desk

you know who it’s from

whenever monoma starts becoming annoying, kendo will definitely use you as a weapon to make him shut up

he’ll be laughing at the expression on his face, thinking he’s absolutely winning at this

but the smile is wiped off his face when he hears “ok go on, i’ll tell y/n about your antics.”

“no, no! i’ll behave now, please don’t tell y/n.”

class 1-b literally use you as blackmail whenever monoma acts up, and it’s because of how different he is around you

like.. his personality takes a 180, (besides the obvious teasing) it’s alarming

—

©️zukuist 2021, bnha|mha belongs to horikoshi kohei. do not repost my work❕

[formulawonu]

flutters / mick schumacher

(not my gif! creds to owner <3)

warning: kissing, getting a little touchy,, and just being flustered idk

summary: *requested by @gpiggy98​ <3* mick has just finished an intense race and you’re the only person he really wants to be around at the moment since you’re his best friend. you’ve secretly liked him for a while now and offer/give him a massage to cool down after the race and you can’t help but get flustered at the intimacy of the moment.

a/n: honestly. what would i give to have mick as my best friend. what would i give to basically have mick in my life. FOR REAL. ugh mick schumacher supremacy. anw i didnt know how to end this one properly so idk if im 100% satisfied but it was fun writing hsjakdhasd but enjoy anyway x (i’m always open to requests btw!!!!)

It’s the end of the Hungarian Grand Prix and you feel like you can finally breathe properly after a couple of hours. You’d think you’d have gotten used to going through race weekends by now but you always seem to find your breath caught in your throat and worrying over the safety of your best friend. Mick had finished in p12 - his current best finish throughout the season - and you were extremely proud of him. Despite how well he did defending from other cars on the field in the car he has, you can tell from the way his brows furrow together after removing his helmet that he’s far from satisfied. Watching him go through the procedure after each race required by the FIA from the garage, you decide to make your way back to the hospitality in order to not get into anyone’s way. You figured that you would just talk to Mick when he was free and tell him proud you are of him. What you were not expecting was Mick to show up at the hospitality earlier than you had expected, his body language clearly still tense, and motioning you with just his head to follow him up to his assigned driver’s room. He doesn’t really stop to wait for you or anything because he knows you understand that he doesn’t want to be around a lot of people right now. It leaves you feeling pleased that you’re still the one he wants to talk to. Perks of being his best friend.

“Hey, you.” You say as you enter Mick’s room, shutting the door behind you. You stand there for a while, leaning against the door as you take in Mick sitting down on the couch, his eyes shut with his head thrown back. His hair is all messy from wearing his helmet but it looks good anyway. You knew this wasn’t the right time to be thinking it, but you’d be lying to yourself if you didn’t acknowledge how Mick made looking stressed extremely attractive. Sexy, even. Mick pops open one eye as he lazily looks at you. “I’m so frustrated.” He mumbles. He then pats the space beside him, telling you to come sit beside him. You make your way to the couch and plop down beside him, trying not to mind the way your heart beats faster as the distance between you both has marginally decreased. Immediately after and without warning, Mick drops his head on your lap. You want to blame the lack of AC for the sudden rise of temperature in the room you’re both in, but you know that the heat is really just rising in your cheeks as you imagine how close Mick is to your body. “I’m so tired.” He continues, shutting his eyes again. You can’t stop the way your heart is rapidly beating inside of your chest and you wouldn’t be surprised if Mick could actually hear it. The vibrations that come from Mick’s voice run through your whole body, leaving you to slightly shift your thighs closer together. You bring your hands to run through his hair, hoping to distract yourself from your own thoughts by giving him a small massage. Mick hums in response. You rub small circles into his temples, picturing him doing the same thing to you in another area of your body. You have to stop yourself there. You seriously cannot be thinking about this while you’re trying to distract yourself from the fact that Mick, your best friend, is all hot and sweaty. Well, there’s always points for trying. 

You don’t realize you’ve stopped the small massage you were giving him until you feel Mick’s hand grip your knee. “Why’d you stop? That felt so good.” The heat rushes to your cheeks and you can feel Mick’s eyes on your face. You can’t bring yourself to meet his eyes because you’re flustered at how dirty your thoughts had gotten because of a few words Mick had muttered in passing. The fact that his hand was still on your knee also did not help your case. It was something you had come to terms with a while ago: you deeply liked your best friend - that was why you were acting like this around him. You had tried your best to ignore the fuzzy feelings that came up every time you thought of him or the way your stomach would drop whenever he was around. You tried to deny and cover it up by saying you just really appreciated him as a person, but you eventually gave in and realized it was pointless to fight your feelings. It didn’t matter anyway. Mick was still your best friend, regardless of whatever feelings you had for him. 

“Oh. Sorry.” You mutter, still refusing to look at him as you try to will the heat in your cheeks to disappear. You knew not to make eye contact with Mick because those damn eyes knew you almost better than you knew yourself so meeting them would just spell out disaster for you. He would figure out something was off immediately. You begin moving your hands again through Mick’s hair, kneading in a new pattern. Your eyes land on the hand still resting on your knee. You focus on it as you continue to massage Mick when suddenly it begins to draw circles of its own nearer your inner thigh. Your breath hitches in your throat and you accidentally tug at Mick’s hair because of your unguarded reaction to his hand. You quickly look at his face to see if he’s felt that (though surely he has) and you find yourself looking into a pair of amused eyes. There’s a hint of playfulness in them as he’s probably made the connection that you are... well... currently going through it. “You okay, there?” He whispers, raising an eyebrow at you. You try to play it off, as you usually do. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I-” His hand moves higher up and you involuntarily pause. “-be.” You swallow and desperately try to focus on anything else but the hand that is now closer to you than you had ever imagined it to be. How white the wall is, how cool Mick’s helmet is, how comfortable the couch is. Mick suddenly shifts his position and the hand on your thigh disappears. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in. The place where Mick’s hand once was now feels incredibly bare. Mick is still moving around until he’s positioned himself to be facing you, still lying down, with his head propped up by his hand. The arm propping his head up is over your legs - suddenly, you feel like you’ve fallen into a dangerous trap. 

“Hey there.” He whispers, smiling at you with those damn eyes filled with amusement. Like he knows. “Hi?” His free hand moves to trace lines up and down your arm. Goosebumps immediately come and you shiver. He smiles even wider, noting the way your body has unintentionally reacted to his touch. “Are you cold?” He continues to run a finger up and down your arm, mindlessly drawing his own patterns. His eyes never leaving yours. You know you should be answering him now, replying with anything really, but his hand has made its way back down and is now drawing circles on the part of your thigh he’s resting on. “Am- Am I what?” You ask, not remembering what he’s just said a few seconds ago. Your eyes move to glance at Mick’s hand then back to his face. Mick then fully sits up, this time lifting your legs to rest over his lap. “Something’s bothering you.” He says, gently turning your chin to have you face him. Your eyes land on his lips before you meet his eyes. “Not at all. I am just peachy.” He chuckles as you inwardly cringe, knowing full well that you didn’t sound convincing at all. What were you supposed to do when his other hand was now drawing those same distracting circles this time on your side. You had never been this close with Mick. You weren’t supposed to be this close to Mick. His eyes drop to your lips. “Can I try something to get whatever it is off your mind?” He whispers. You nod before you can think about what he’s just offered, too taken by how Mick’s face seems to be inching ever so closely to yours by the second. Your eyes flutter shut when you feel the touch of another pair of lips on yours. It starts out slow, almost shy, as if he’s checking to make sure you’re okay with what’s happening. But then you pull him closer to you, slightly parting your lips to invite him in. Your hands make their way around his neck and tugging at the ends of his hair. The pace has suddenly shifted and Mick has lifted you on top of him, letting you straddle him as he now moves his hands up and down the sides of your body. 

There was no way this was actually happening. All you wanted to do a couple of moments ago was tell Mick how proud you were of him. You push your body closer to his, trying to eliminate the almost nonexistent space between the two of you. Mick moans in your mouth, his hands gripping your waist tighter. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you for so long.” He says in between kisses. He’s trailing kisses down your jaw then your neck. “Me too. You have no idea.” You breathe into his ear. You’re about to kiss him again when suddenly you hear a knock at the door. You both pause, looking at each other wide-eyed. 

“Mick, it’s Guenther. We need to debrief quickly. Won’t take long, I swear.” You slowly move off of Mick, trying not to make noise. You were sure no one thought you guys were doing anything weird anyway but you didn’t want to be caught looking like it. Mick is still sitting next to you, both of you trying not to laugh. It’s almost like he doesn’t want Guenther to think he’s in the room. “Mick,” You hear knocks coming from the other side of the door. “The earlier we start, the quicker you can get back. Hi to Y/N, who is in there too.” You both burst out laughing, the jig obviously up. Mick finally gets up, chuckling and accepting he has to go and start debriefing. 

“I’ll see you when I get back. Still need to get that thing off of your mind.” He says, winking at you as he steps out of the room. 

[pradaksj]

the swimming lessons

all rights reserved © pradaksj

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ pairing⟶  jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶  swimminginstructor!jungkook , fluff, a bit of comedy? head canon/bullet points 

❧ rating⟶ e for everyone??? none??? idk how ratings work lol i just know that m = the dirty, which this story has none of

❧ word count ⟶ 5,000 

❧ summary ⟶  accidental swimming lessons with jungkook were definitely worth the money 

❧ a/n ⟶ i literally dreamt something similar to this in like january and told myself i'd write about it when i had the time so hear i am :)) this goes out to all my folks who can’t swim !! i'm on the same boat with you , get it?  cause we can’t swim ... ok anyways ... enjoy ! (note: i have not proofread this yet so sorry for any mistakes!! ill get to it soon !! ) 

“hello, welcome to lucky duck swim school, how can i help you?” the receptionist, who was loudly chewing her gum, sounded more like an automated voice message than a person...

see today was your first official swimming lesson

yay!! 

how fun!! ...

://

totally not embarrassing for someone your age !!!

honestly, it wasn't your fault you didn’t have any family members or friends with a big pool you could learn in growing up 

and by the time you did, you were too much of in an awkward phase to be properly taught

aka your body absolutely refusing to float on its own anymore

but after several trips to the beach with friends and attending different pool parties, you were tired of being made fun of !! 

no longer would you remain at 5 feet and under !!! not on your watch ! 

and so here you were, ready to start your journey into the world of swimming :)) 

“hi i um have a swimming lesson at 3 with um ... i believer her name was um—” 

hmmm what was her name ??? jennie??? no, maybe it was aaliyah ??? no that wasn’t it.... 

the receptionist taps on her keyboard buttons, her long nails making a noise 

pop, her bubblegum goes 

“jungkook” 

“yeah jungkook” you mindlessly say. 

wait 

WAIIITT

jungkook????

ummmmm 

that was not the game given to you by the last receptionist 

jungkook is a boy’s name !!! 

you didn’t want a boy instructor !!! 

not with the way you were looking 

“i um—i had asked for a girl instructor—” you awkwardly mention 

she rolls her eyes

um RUDE 

she continues clacking with her keyboard, looking for god knows what 

she sighs 

“there’s no slots with female instructors available for today, nor for the rest of the month, the earliest i can probably squeeze you in by is july.” she bluntly states. 

JULY??? 

july was when you needed to already know how to swim !!

that’s the peak of summer ! 

there was no point in knowing during winter or any other season besides summer for that matter 

and you were not going to get made of by your friends this year

no no NO

“soo do i reschedule you or.....” 

you sigh 

“no ill take it” you pout, resembling a child. 

“it it makes you feel any better, jungkook’s our best instructor, most popular too” 

wink 

oh yeah that makes you feel so much better 

>:( 

you were going to make a complete fool out of yourself in front of the so called “best instructor” 

“well go get yourself washed up, get into the pool, and jungkook will be with you shortly” she smiles, her attitude now changing now that (what looked to be a supervisor) was passing by. 

what a bi—

flip flop. flip flop. flip flop. 

your sandles press onto the water on the floor of the girls locker room, a grouchy look now on your face 

this wasn't fair 

you made an appointment with a female instructor!! 

you didn’t care if he was the best instructor or the most popular ...

squeeaaakkk , you twist the rusty shower handle

...because now you were you were going to be judged for your lack of skills 

not that you had any to begin with, but still! 

god, you sounded like such a karen ... 

it’s just ...

a guy instructor ??? 

really??? 

you understood that this wasn’t elementary school anymore and boys certainly didn’t have cooties anymore but like :// 

no no, you had to give this jungkook guy the benefit of the doubt

if he was one of the best, it was clearly because he was professional and good at what he does 

putting your worries to rest, you turn off the shower 

this was going to be fine

just fine 

clearly your worries were not put to rest 

just a temporary halt 

:) 

pat. pat. pat. 

okay let’s get it ! 

making your way out to the pool, you dip your foot in 

ooooo 

cold

VERY cold indeed 

1 ...2...

you dip your whole leg in, quickly using the momentum to place your whole body in 

“5 feet and below ... you’re my bitch !!” you think to yourself 

your hand still clearly gripping onto the ledge, still afraid of accidentally reaching 6ft

.... now to wait 

“megan seems to have fractured her leg last weekend on a rollerskating day gone bad, so you’ll be taking up her appointments for the next month of two until she’s cleared for work” 

huh ???

“but—” 

“also she, well now you i guess, have a lesson to teach at..” 

jungkook’s supervisor looks down at his watch 

“oh i guess in 30 minutes, could’ve sworn it was at 4..” he mumbles that last part to himself

30 minutes?! 

“don’t worry i’ll up your pay for the remaining time that she gets better” 

he winks ;) making a clicking noise with his mouth before leaving the staff room 

jungkook sighs 

today was supposed to be an easy day :/ 

a simple cleaning of the pool along with a couple of measly hours of being the lifeguard and that would’ve been it but noooo 

he just had to be the highest rated swimming instructor on the company website 

he couldn’t complain though, sometimes it was fun reading the reviews past students left, even if sometimes they were a little too...

whats the word...

provocative? 

it often made him wonder if he was in fact an actual good swimming instructor or if the high highly rated reviews were for other reasons.... 

honestly it’d be dumb of him not to acknowledge the amount of googly eyes he’d get ranging from the mother’s of his younger students to his actual adult students (female and male) 

he just liked to think that didn’t come into play when they wrote their reviews 

hehe 

changing into his black fitted rash guard, he glanced at megan’s schedule 

name : y/n 

age: 23 grown

swimming level: beginner  aka noob. 

he chuckles to himself 

well won’t this be fun 

he couldn’t lie beginner adult swimmers were always a spectacle to watch 

they almost reminded him of baby ducks learning how to swim 

only that they’d verbally curse their frustrations here and there 

quickly showering, he begins to make his way to the pool 

hmm, he wonders..

what should he eat after today’s lesson? 

a bacon cheese burger sounded really good 

maybe even grab himself some birria tacos from that new restaurant that just opened near his apartment 

hmm no he had to start spending less on takeout 

sigh 

looks like it’d be rame—

woah 

as corny as it sounded, he could’ve sworn he felt his heart skip a beat 

because whoever it was in that pool was pretty, like really pretty 

hOly ????? 

wowzers 

you couldn’t be y/n ... could you?!?!?! 

you were the only person who looked 23 years of age in the pool ...

ermmmmmm 

mayday mayday 

jungkook.exe has STOPPED WORKING  

whoever this jungkook person was, sure was taking their time 

deciding to have some fun before your lesson, you begin to gently play with the water 

swish. swoosh , the water goes 

soon you’d be well on your way to becoming the next michael phelps 

hehe 

maybe with time you’d even be able to a somersault in the water like your friend always—

“y/n?” a voice from behind says your name

ah finally 

taking in a deep breath, you turn your attention to the so called “best swimming instructor” 

OH.

MY .

GOD. 

WHAT ?????? 

this man looked like he came straight out of GQ magazine !!!! 

this HAD to be some mistake , there was just no way ... 

your cheeks feel as if they were burning up 

probably because they quite literally were 

there was no way you’d be able to come here every saturday for the next month, not without fawning for this dude every single minute 

“u-um” 

of course you were a stuttering mess

of FuCkiNg course 

“that’s me” 

cue the awkward smile 

:) 

“be professional” jungkook tells himself

at the end of the day, you were his student 

any crush on you would just have to wait until of course ... you were no longer his student 

for now the only goal was : teach you how to swim 

the next one down the list being : to take you out on a date ! 

he offers you a handshake 

wow he had a strong grip 

“i’m jungkook, i’ll be your swimming instructor for the next month” 

he flashes you his all too famous smile

there was just no way this man was real

just nO wAy 

“um..” 

crap, you were still holding his hand! 

idiot, idiot, idiot ! 

“sorry” you awkwardly laugh 

ha ha ha 

so funny 

:/ 

god did you just want to hide to disappear 

“it’s fine” he laughs 

even his laugh was attractive :( 

ugh 

“so y/n, before we begin with anything, i think it’s important to review about what kind of things you already know and what you don’t” 

oh right ... 

for a moment you had COMPLETELY forgotten you were here for swimming lessons 

how embarrassing 

“oh um..” 

um, um , um. 

IS THAT ALL YOU KNEW HOW TO SAY???? 

“so like floating, holding your breath underwater, pushing, gliding, arm movement, that kind of stuff,” he explains 

you knew a cool trick to make it look like you were water bending :D 

of course you weren’t going to admit that here 

silently you nod your head no 

he gives you a reassuring smile, sensing your timidness 

“that’s fine, only more for us—” he corrects himself, “for you to learn,” he laughs 

hey you weren’t complaining 

;) 

“so i personally always like to start off with teaching my students how to float. as long as we get that down then you’ll have no problem learning the rest” 

gosh his smile was so infectious 

shaking your head, you reminded yourself that this was your teacher 

+ you paid 300 bucks for these classes, so you couldn’t afford to be giving him the googly eyes all day 

you were so cute :( 

jungkook couldn’t help but find you so endearing 

the color of your swimming goggles even matched your swim suit :(( 

so cute ! 

“okay so the first thing i want you to practice is going underwater for a couple of seconds, just so you get used it,” he instructs, “i’ll demonstrate” 

taking in a deep breath, he goes down under 

1...2...3 

he’s back up 

pausing for about another three seconds, he takes in another deep breath of air before going back under 

1...2....3...4....5

he repeats the same thing over and over, until the max count becomes 20. 

“use my finger as your reference of when to go up, but come up for air whenever you feel like you need to. it’s important to go at your own pace, so don’t feel pressured to get it the first try” 

no pressure at all 

okay 

“you ready?” 

you nod your head 

“okay, deep breath in”

you sink your head underwater, mentally counting the three seconds before going back up 

“good job,” he gives you a high five, and you almost feel like a schoolgirl, “now let’s try to five seconds” 

woo!!! 5 seconds here you come !! 

taking in a deep breath you go down under again 

1....2.....3....4...5

easy peasy ... LEMON SQUEEZY 

“okay now to ten” 

1.....2......3......4.....5......6....7

umm

now why were these seconds going by slow all of a sudden? 

sucking it up you manage to make it to 10, but not without being out of breath 

“you okay?” he’s quick to ask 

yup, totally fine ! 

you definitely didn’t see the gates of heaven for a quick moment :D 

nodding your head, you enthusiastically say, “let’s go for 15″ 

he smiles at your enthusiasm

ahh so cute 

“1....2.....3......4......5.......6......7......8......9.....10.....11.....12....13...

nope nope nope

you were not going to make it to 15 

immediately you make your way back to the surface, trying to catch your breath 

“hey you did amazing,” he immediately reassures you, “remember as long your going your own pace then you’re doing just fine” 

<3 

well doesn’t that make you feel better 

you wonder if he’s this kind to all his students 

besides the most obvious reason, there was no question as to why he was the “most popular” instructor 

and to think you had been complaining earlier !! 

and soon you’re back underwater, going at your own pace until finallyyyy you’re able to make the 20 second count 

“nice !!” he genuinely celebrates with you, making you feel completely proud for yourself 

“okay now that we have that done, we can move onto learning how to float facing both front and back” 

ohhhhh

he was just thinking ahead 

cool :o 

“so what i want you do is first relax,” he laughs, gently pushing your stiff shoulders down 

as if your blush couldn’t get any deeper 

“now my personal belief is that all humans can naturally float, just that for others, it takes a bit of a push to get them at that state,” he begins to explain 

others meaning people like um you 

“the key to floating is to relax” 

oh you’ve heard that before

many MANY times and each time you’ve tried to so called “relax” you just end up sinking 

“the moment you fight or stress for even a tiny bit, you will sink. now i know what you’re thinking, ive heard that before” 

damn 

he was good 

“but sadly it’s true, until you learn to relax then you’ll be able to swim” 

you sigh 

this was where it became hard 

you were the queen of stress 

you and stress went hand in hand almost like a married couple 

it was just that deep water was scary !! very very scary !! 

the amount of horror stories you’d seen on tiktok was enough for you to know, ocean = scary 

“so here’s what i need you to do, i need you to place your arms on top of the water like as if you’re going to fly” 

you follow his commands 

he separates your arms, which had been too close together, giving them a small rub 

“remember you need to relax y/n,” he chuckles, feeling the tension in your arms

“relax, i need to relax,” you repeat 

“okay now right now when i tell you, you’re gonna take a deep breath in and look down, from there you’re gonna let you body move forward. so remember you’re not gonna jump, you’re just gonna let your body glide forward and float. almost as if you’re flying to me,” he explains 

mm it was easier said than done  

“you ready?” 

“okay deep breath in” 

you inhale a deep breath in 

“look down” 

you do that as well 

“and let go” 

slowly your body begins to rise on its own 

oh my god !!!!! 

you were about to float!!!!! 

the day has come !!!

no more staying at 5 feet and under 

you were ready to hang with the big kids :D 

but as quick as the momentum came, the faster it left because soon you felt yourself sinking, the breathing exercise jungkook had made you do now coming in handy 

no!!!! 

you almost had it :( 

it was right in your grasp, only to have it snatched away 

not wanting to offend you, jungkook keeps his giggles to himself 

“hey at least you almost had it,” he comforts you, “let’s just try again” 

you sigh, now letting your doubts creep in 

because of this, this time your body almost immediately sank this time

he frowns 

you were losing confidence :/ 

“come on i’ll help you” 

grabbing your hands, he signals for you to follow his breathing pattern

“deep breath in” 

“deep breath out” 

god, was his voice soothing 

“i need you to relax y/n, let everything go” 

a soft feeling of relaxation washes over you, similar to that feeling you’d get when you were on the verge of sleeping

“i’m gonna let you go at the count of three, and then you’re going to float, okay?” 

silently you nod, knowing that speaking would only cause you to tense up again 

“1...2....” 

he lets go, and soon you’re floating, just like he said you would 

you hold your breathe for a good while before standing back up, a huge smile on your face 

“holy shit! i did it!!” 

he gives you high five with both of his hands, for a second holding them before letting go 

“now let’s try floating on your back” 

he notices that there’s now a fire in your eyes that wasn’t there before

clearly you were now more determined to learn, excited too

preparing yourself to float once more, you realize you were missing something.... 

“jungkook...” 

he tilts his head, confused by the faint blush on your cheeks 

“do you think you can um—” 

now it was his turn to blush 

“o-oh yeah” 

what was his problem??? 

you were a student asking for help 

that was all ...

point blank. 

he helps you get on your back, his hand placed under your back as a way to keep you up 

“1....2....” 

you float easily again!! 

“nice!!” he smiles 

summer, here you come !! 

“okay so we’re gonna keep practicing that for the remaining time that we have and next week i’ll start teaching you about stroke techniques and which ones are easiest to do” 

nodding your head, you practice your floating by the end of the hour  having it practically mastered 

the two of you get out of the pool, now drying off 

“you’re a really fast learner y/n,” he compliments you 

hehe 

you mean, you didn’t wanna brag butttt 

you were a fast learner indeed 

“thank you,” you say in return, “but that’s only because you’re a great teacher” 

woah 

did you really say that :o 

aren’t you feeling a little bold today y/n  

his blush returns for the second time today

well technically you weren’t in class anymore ... 

a little flirting wouldn’t hurt right? 

if only he knew what to say .... 

hmmmm 

“well at least you won't ever drown!” 

HUH???????

jungkook, you idiot !!!!! 

someone needed to smack him straight in the face for that ! 

at least you won’t drown????

no fucking shit 

well there goes his chances with you now going down the drain 

but to his surprise, you laugh 

“you’re right, i won’t,” you say in return, “well i’ll see you next weekend jungkook” 

you flash him a smile, and he was certain he felt butterflies in his stomach 

walking into the girl’s locker room, you let out a sigh of relief

wheeeeew ! 

faking confidence was hard ! 

very VERY hard 

“so today you’re going to learn how to stroke so you can officially be called someone who knows how to swim, next week you’ll learn to tread water and continue perfecting your swimming, and then the final week i’ll teach you some fun extra things” 

“sounds good,” you say, definitely excited to learn more. 

“okay so now that you know how to float, right now when you float facing downward, you’re going to pull against the current with your arms, alternating each one. now the tricky part is that while you do that, you also have to paddle your legs a little and come up for air when you need to, and when you’re back in the water you should slowly be exhaling bubbles of air rather than holding your breath” 

well that sounded hard :/ 

“let me give you a demonstration,” jungkook says

he’s quick to float facing downward, showing you the maneuver he wanted you to learn while coming up for air every five seconds

thought it was a little childish, he somehow still looked good doing it 

he truly was blessed with the looks of a god 

he comes out the water

“okay now your turn” 

you nod your head, that determined look you had on your face last week now returning 

following his example, you begin your attempt at paddling and stroking your arms at the same time

SPLASH! SPLASH! SPLASH! 

immediately you begin to panic and water begins to splash everywhere, including on jungkook 

noticing your panicked state, jungkook is quick to grab you and place you back on your feet 

“hey hey, i got you,” he comforts you, not wanting you to feel discouraged 

you sigh 

:/ 

well that was embarrassing 

“remember y/n you have to learn to coordinate everything, so think of it this way. your legs have to always be paddling, it’s the arm and coming up for air that switch roles. when you come up for air, it’s only your legs paddling, while when you’re head is back underwater it’s both your legs and arms paddling. once you get that pattern, the bubbling will come naturally” 

you make an ohhhhh face

you could do that ! 

“remember what i told you last weekend y/n, you need to relax and be comfortable so you can build confidence. there’s no need to panic because i’m here,” he smiles at you 

gosh this just wasn't fair >:( 

cute and charming ???? 

this boy really had it all 

not wanting to disappoint, you try one more time, failing once again 

now you were frustrated :/ 

“damn it,” you mumble to yourself, a sadness to your voice

jungkook feels his heart swell 

he didn’t like seeing you sad :( 

but doggy paddling was the most basic technique he could teach you so he couldn’t really cheer you up by offering a different technique 

you needed to learn to doggy paddle before you could move on to the more bigger strokes

damn it ://  

“hey don’t feel bad about not getting right away,” he gives you a small smile, “i remember when i first started learning it took me forever to even learn how float, so the fact that you’re already at this point is enough of an accomplishment” 

well that makes you feel little better ... 

“but you were probably a kid, im ...” 

old , is what you want to say 

figuring what you were gonna say, he only laughs 

“who said i was a kid? i was probably like 19″ 

whaaaaaattttt! 

assuming he was your age (which he was), you do the quick maths in your head 

that was like .... 4 years ago ! 

how the hell did he get so good in such little time???? enough to be teaching courses ??? 

“not knowing how to swim is nothing to be embarrassed about y/n, if anything it takes a lot of courage to even sign up for a class so don’t beat yourself up too much for not getting it right away” 

he ruffles your wet hair, a small affectionate gesture 

you didn’t know how it was possible but you were falling for this man and QUICKLY at that 

he was just so ??$%@^! 

UGHHHH

“so let’s try one more time, and if you still can’t get it then we’ll push it to next week, a free extra lesson on me” 

eeeeek 

though the temptation to purposely fails was very intriguing indeed, you still had to try for the sake of it 

if you got it, you got it, and if you didn't well .... 

an extra week with jungkook it was :D 

“you ready?” 

you nod your head 

“1...2...” 

you float and begin to paddle, this time actually getting the hang of it !!!

you hear jungkook’s muffled voice from above the surface, “there you go!!” 

holy shit ! 

you officially knew how to swim !!! 

at least enough to save your own life if push came to shove 

once you were out of breath, you stand back up, a grin on both of your faces 

for jungkook it was hard not to tackle you in excitement so instead he settled for a very enthusiastic high five 

“you did it!” he cheers 

“ahhh!” you giggle like a child 

“from here on out, the rest is a piece of cake!” 

yay yay yay !!! 

“now let’s start working on deeper strokes, maybe we’ll even have time to throw in backstrokes!”

:////

noticing your changed expression, he awkwardly laughs while scratching his neck 

“or maybe not” 

this week was the final week of swimming lesson with jungkook

:(( 

last week’s lesson of treading water and perfecting your swim seemed to had gone by in literally the blink of an eye ! 

and so today was possible the last time you’d see jungkook unless you managed to grow the balls and ask him out once that clock hit 4, once you were no longer his “student"

by now you were 100% sure you liked the dude... like a lot 

and he was definitely someone you wanted to get to know outside of this pool 

you just weren’t sure if he liked you the same way 

you mean yeah there were definitely times that had you raising an eyebrow here and there, but you always excused it as him simply being a kind hearted person by nature 

because clearly his five star rating on the company’s website had to come from somewhere 

not that you checked or anything....

who were you kidding 

yes you did

your favorite review was the one that went..

“wow!! this dude is amazing !! came here for beginner lessons and even i found myself fawning for the dude , and i don’t even play for that side of the team !! not only were his lessons thorough, but he’s a very charming person ! 10/10 recommend!” 

and so you were stuck 

did he liked you or was he just treating you like he treated everyone?? 

“ahh y/n,” jungkook’s voice suddenly brings you back to reality 

“today’s our final lesson!” he announces, not sounding too sad

in fact he sounded excited  

damn :/ 

he playfully jumps into the pool, today being his so called “fun day” 

“so since today’s your last lesson i thought i could teach you how to do a.....” 

he pauses for dramatic purposes 

“SOmERSAuLT!!”

immediately your eyes light up 

ahhhhhHHHH!!!! 

you always wanted to learn how to do a somersault in water, remembering the number of times you’d look at your friend in jealousy whenever she did one 

“you ready??” 

eagerly you nod your head yes

“okay so the steps to doing a summersault is first of course, you need to take a deep breath” 

okayyyy 

“from there you tuck your chin to your chest, next you do the moment of the somersault by swinging your chest forward and gently kicking out your legs, so basically forming a ball and then kicking out.  naturally, if you have enough momentum, you’ll spin, but if you don’t just use your arms to complete it” 

“think you can give me a demonstration?” you innocently ask 

he winks at you, “of course i can” 

taking in a deep breath, he follows his own instructions, and you watch he perfectly executes his somersault 

“woahhh, that was so cool!” you say, even now finding the trick to be amazing 

“now i dont expect you to get it right away, so right now that you try i’m going tog hide you thought the movement so you get the gist of it” 

sounds fair enough 

you weren’t trying to drown on your last day either 

“okay, you ready?” 

“yes” 

“let’s get it!” 

taking a deep breath in, you feel jungkook’s hand get placed on your back, ready to push you so you could do the somersault 

“1...2...” 

and slowly you feel yourself spin with the help of jungkook, a smile already forming on your face 

“ahhh!” you smile big and wide, causing Jungkook to smile along with you 

“you think you’re ready to try it on your own???” 

“yes sir” 

“okay 1....2....” 

mustering up as much as force you possible could, you push yourself into ball and successfully do the somersault 

YUPPPPP 

WHOSE DOING IT LIKE YOU???!$%@$!

feeling an immediate rush of adrenaline, you begin to splash water all over once you come back up for air, declaring an all out water fight with jungkook 

soon the two of you are chasing one another, you now using your new swimming abilities to get away 

hehe 

you’re a swimmer 

:D 

the sound of jungkook’s infectious laughter fill the air and soon you feel him grab your waist at an attempt to stop you 

“gotcha” he says, and he turns you around to face him 

slowly each other’s heavy breathing becomes relaxed, and it’s as if you’ve felt a shift occur in what you considered your new “friendship” 

“so....” he awkwardly says, hands still wrapped around your waist 

his was was RED

like cherry tomatoes red 

this only makes you giggle 

if you had doubts before, you DEFINITELY didn’t have em anymore 

he liked you :)))) 

and you liked him :)))) 

and in ten minutes you were officially no longer his student so......

“there’s this new restaurant that opened near my place....” you say 

immediately his eyes light up 

“cancun eats?” 

you nod your head and he gives you a toothy grin 

“i was wondering if you’d want to go out some time...” you muster up the courage to ask him out 

%^@%!@&!@^&@%! = jungkook’s brain 

holy crap !!! 

you liked him!!! 

he wasn’t just delusional !!! 

“hello?? jungkook??” you laugh, waving a hand in front of his face for jungkook.exe had truly stopped working this time 

nodding his head yes like a child,  the two of you being to lean closer to another, the clear goal in mind being each other’s lips

because honestly you’d come this far now, might as well give him a .... 

“wait!” he suddenly interrupts  he glances at the digital clock on the wall, remembering your final lesson officially ends at 4

because no way in hell was he going to get fired for kissing a student on the clock 

3:59 

.....

4:00 

“okay now,” he smiles, and you only roll your eyes, happy to have taken up on those swimming lessons. 

a/n : i was gonna make this longer but this was always meant to be a small little head canon so :))) pls give this a like, comment, or a reblog if you enjoyed it !! (if u can of course) and my ask box is always open for whatever !! :)) see yall next time 💞

[lihikainanea]

thinking about jealous bill a lot these days, lei, and how he’d fuck her so good after. one of those fucks where he’s just making her HIS, fucking her from behind and just making her forget any words. especially if she was already small and some guy hit on her at a bar that she already didn’t want to be at and bill just assures her the whole time home. but once they’re home? he knows what he’s gotta do and that’s making her mind blank.

Oooooooof I've been sitting on this for too long, but it has had me tingling for days. I've been itching to get my thoughts out on it, but idk sometimes this routine that I think I have nailed down with my little furry dude just goes to shit all of a sudden and there's really no reason to it. Last week I was rocking it, his nap times were on point, I was eating dinner by 7, we had walks, play time, then he conked out. This week I'm like DURRRR HOW DO I DOG PARENT? and I'm eating dinner at 10 and I feel like even Bongo is looking at me like he really needs me to get my shit together.

ANYWAY.

Let's get into this.

What I love about this here is the small but incredibly important detail that you mentioned that like...maybe tiger is already a little small. Maybe she's somewhere she doesn't want to be and Bill knows this, maybe she's not feeling too great about it and is getting worse, maybe she wants out or needs a reprieve and Bill knows it. And that right there flares up his protector side, the primal side of him that just wants to pick her up and carry her out, get her somewhere dark where she can sit on his lap and he can shove his thumb in her mouth and hold her there for as long as she needs. Tiger being a little overwhelmed, a little uncomfortable in a place she doesn't want to be in, tiger getting a little small in a place that's not safe for her to be small in and she knows it so she's spiralling a little...oof, Bill morphs into the alpha male that he keeps buried deep, and his own instincts are on fire to protect her, comfort her, provide for her. Throw in a little jealousy on Bill's side because tiger being small is....like, that's his you know? Only he gets to see that. And her mood is completely imperceptible to everybody else, but she may as well have a sign on her forehead that says "PUT ME ON MY KNEES" to Bill. It's so obvious to him, and his feathers are all ruffled because that's his. That's his look.

So alright, maybe tiger is just having a fucking shit week. She's due to be riding the crimson wave in a few days so she's bloated and the tatas are sensitive , her clothes aren't fitting, she's been kind of nauseous all day with a dull ache in the base of her skull. Maybe it's 38754596660 fucking degrees in a heat wave and like, tiger doesn't do heat. Her commute to work is not air-conditioned, so by the time she gets home she's overheated and sweaty and even more puffy and just full of fucking bad feelings. She's physically uncomfortable for a million different reasons, she's tired, SHE'S SO DAMN HOT--it's just all bad.

But it's a friend's birthday and at the moment, tiger kind of thinks that friend is a fucking asshole for organizing something in the middle of the week--let alone the worst week of life--but she's going. They're going. They have to.

But Bill's not convinced.

"You know kid," he says gently as he leans against the doorframe, sipping a beer as tiger tries on the millionth dress. The rejects are in a heap on the bed, and she struggles with the zipper as she shoots him an annoyed look.

"We can sit this one out if you don't feel like going," he says. He doesn't move to help her with the zipper--not when she's in a mood like this. Instead, he just swigs his beer.

"No we can't Bill," she snaps, and with a frustrated huff the dress goes up and over her head and is tossed into the pile of rejects. "She'll be pissed if we miss this."

"Then she's pissed," he shrugs, "We can make it up to her."

Tiger yanks another dress out of the closet, pulls it on. She pokes at it, turns a few ways in the mirror.

"That one's cute," he says.

But then she unties the belt, flings it off so the dress billows loosely around her frame.

"Fuck it," she says, grabbing his beer on her way out of the room, "I'm fucking wearing this fucking potato sack to fucking dinner."

Bill watches as she downs the beer in two gulps.

"Ugh," she mutters lowly, "Fucking lite beer bullshit."

At this point, he really just has all the sympathy in the world for her. Her friends are important to her, and tiger always feels a sense of obligation to never let them down. He knows this is the last place she feels like going tonight, but she's forcing herself to.

And like the thing with tiger's bad moods is sometimes they make her full of piss and vinegar and ready to fight everyone, and sometimes they just make her small. Bill never knows which way it's going to go, but given the fact that she's a little hormonal and he knows she's close to shark week, he can take a guess at which way the dice will roll tonight.

And it basically starts in the car on the way there. She's fidgety, even with the A/C cranked on high. She's pulling at the hem of her dress, huffing, she's rubbing at her temples. At one point she takes the seatbelt, pulling it away from her body and Bill shoots her a quizzical look.

"If my tits could stop feeling like they're about to fucking burst, that'd be great," she mutters.

"I'll give you a massage later tonight," he kisses her knuckles.

"Fuck all of this."

"I know, kid."

And it just gets worse. When tiger is in this kind of mood, really the thing that makes it worse is to just....surround her with people. Surround her with people that she has to fake joy and happiness with. She doesn't have the patience or the fucking energy for it, and despite her best efforts, Bill can see the scowl permanently etched in her forced happy face. And he can see the shift start to happen--the way she fidgets a lot more, and can't get comfortable. The way her shoulders hunch over. The way she's flinching or jumping at loud noises, squinting or wrinkling her features at the bright lights. Her eyes are getting a bit of a spaced out look, she's not really engaging in conversations--everything is just too much. The environment is starting to get way too stimulating, way too overwhelming, and she's getting small on him. He gives her knee a hard squeeze, hard enough to ground her and catch her attention and she jolts.

"You good?" he murmurs lowly. And he knows she's not. SHE knows that he knows she's not. But she forces a fake smile, so wide that it's almost sarcastic.

"Peachy."

A few minutes pass, her knee bouncing, her eyes flitting everywhere, and she stands.

"I need some air," she says, "It's too fucking hot in here."

Bill stands immediately, but she puts a hand on his shoulder and pushes him back down.

"I'm fine," she says, "Really. Just give me a minute."

He doesn't like it, not one bit, but he lets her go. Alone.

A few minutes pass, and sure enough she comes back in. She motions her hand to the bar, but Bill holds up his full pint to let her know he doesn't need another round just yet. She nods, heading there anyway to get a refill for herself.

Bill has eyes on her. Bill always has eyes on her. And tiger doesn't see it, but Bill does--he sees the guy standing next to her give her a little once-over, sees a smirk tilt up the guy's lips, and Bill knows what's about to happen. He doesn't hear the conversation, but he doesn't need to. He sees the guy speak. He sees tiger tense up a little, a tight smile in politeness, and she turns her head to try and make eye contact with the bartender a little quicker.

The guy doesn't get the hint, and keeps talking. Bill stands up. His eyes are on her the whole time, and now she's ignoring the guy. Turning her body slightly away, leaning forward a bit in hopes of getting her order in with the bartender faster. Her shoulders are practically up by her ears, and the guy with the sleazy smirk is still talking. Bill is ready to fucking punch the guy into next week just for the reaction that he's eliciting from his girl--making her scared, making her uncomfortable, even fucking daring to talk to her when she's like this. Bill eats up the distance with quick strides.

He makes it in the nick of time, right as this guy had raised a hand and was poised to place it on tiger's back in a rather unwanted caress. Bill grabs his wrist, steps between him and tiger, and gets real into his space.

"Just try and touch her motherfucker," he growls, "I dare you."

And listen, if nothing else--Bill is tall and that's intimidating as fuck when it gets right up in your space real quickly. But Bill also came out of nowhere, he looks a little crazy, and this guy suddenly ain't so down to rumble.

"Bro, I didn't know--"

But Bill just stands even taller and tiger actually shrinks behind him, her hand gently on his back, and it's the only thing that's keeping him remotely calm. This isn't about his anger. This is about protecting her, especially when she's like this for him, and nothing else matters.

The guy just holds his hands up, and backs away into the crowd. When he's out of sight, Bill turns to her.

"We're leaving kid," he says, and god it's so gentle, "Go wait for me by the car okay?"

"No," she mumbles immediately, fisting at his shirt a little bit, "No, can I stay here with you?"

And he realizes that she's a little scared and just a whole lot overwhelmed, and Jesus he could fucking melt into a puddle for her right that second.

"Of course you can," he tugs on a lock of her hair gently, "Of course you can."

Bill gets the bartender's attention in no time--a giraffe at your bar will do that--and he pays for everyone's tab. They make a hasty exit but he takes the blame--it's par for the course when you're friends with Bill, he's often tiger's ride and he's always getting all kinds of urgent calls--and then they leave.

And listen, the second that they're in the car? Tiger can finally start to let her walls come down, which is just fucking igniting Bill's jealous side and his protector side.

"Are you okay?" he murmurs to her. She looks so fussy, so small for him.

"I want to go home," she whines.

"I know sweet girl, I'm taking you home."

"He was awful Bill," she says, "Ugh, he was so sleazy and so slimy and--and he tried--"

"He tried tiger," he says softly, "He can try all he wants. He'll never have what's mine."

"No he won't," she sniffles. Bill tucks her hair behind her ears, taps two fingers against her lips and she sucks at them.

"Are you mine?" he asks softly, "Is this mine?"

She nods, but he tuts her.

"Yes," she mumbles, "Yours."

"Good," he murmurs. He pulls his fingers from her mouth and she whines, but he drags his hand down and cups her mound softly. She moans and grabs onto his wrist.

"What about this?" he asks, "Is this mine too?"

"Yes," she chokes out, "Yes. God Bill get me home."

"I will sweet girl, I will."

And listen, when they get home? oof. There's no stopping Bill. He can't switch it off, he doesn't want to tame it, and tiger doesn't want him to either. She's his. He's possessive, he's rough, he's jealous--and all it does is make her smaller for him, make her even more soft and subby, which just makes him even more alpha. It's rough because he needs it, SHE needs it, needs the pain of it to feel grounded, needs the sting of a spanking so that she can feel his strength, so she can feel like she's his, so she can feel owned and possessed and protected. And Bill needs to mark her to feel like she's his, because goddamnit it came so close tonight to everyone seeing her only the way he gets to. Too many people almost saw what is only his to see.

For as much as he wants to wreck her, maybe tiger wants to be on her knees for him. Maybe she needs to be on her knees for him. And for however much he might need something else, nights like these are always about her, and what she needs comes first.

[fruitcoops]

Hii, i love your work! Can I request an angst fic with prompts 38, 31 and 78. Like Logan and Leo get into a big fight and Logan says something bad (like I hate u and something like that) and Leo just leaves and maybe goes to Remus and Sirius. And then they make up idk, just a happy ending.

Thanksss❤️❤️🥺

Hello! I really enjoyed writing this ask because I haven’t written a lot of relationship-related angst yet, and I’m pretty happy with it. Credit for Sweater Weather goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for arguing in relationships

Prompt 31: “He’s not answering his phone.”

Prompt 38: “Don’t talk like that.”

Prompt 78: “What did you just say?”

It started with a book.

It wasn’t a particularly special book—on the contrary, it was a beat-up copy of A Tale of Two Cities that Leo had received as a birthday present years ago. He didn’t even like the book that much, but it was a rainy day and he hadn’t slept and he wanted something familiar to daydream through.

There was a heavy, irritated sigh from the kitchen. Leo glanced up at Finn, who was folding laundry, and frowned. “Lo, you okay?” Finn asked.

“Fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“It’s just—it’s fine.”

Finn set a pair of socks down and ducked into the kitchen; Leo turned back to his book, but kept both ears pricked. “What’s wrong?” Finn’s voice was soft and concerned.

“I don’t know, I’m just upset,” Logan answered. Dishes clanked in the sink and Leo winced, silently hoping none of them would be chipped. “Just finish the laundry and we can go to bed.”

Something in his tone rubbed Leo the wrong way and he stood, joining Finn in the doorway. “Hey, don’t talk to him like that.”

“Like what?” Logan set a fork down with more force than strictly necessary.

“You’re being snappy and I don’t like it. Finn doesn’t, either.”

Finn turned to look at him reproachfully. “What’s your deal?”

“Well, I was kind of looking forward to a quiet evening where we could hang out and read, but I guess that’s not going to happen.”

Logan huffed. “Maybe if you pulled your weight around here we could have a quiet evening.”

“Excuse me?”

“Finn and I have been cleaning for the last hour while you read your stupid book—”

“Leave me out of this!”

“—and I’m getting tired of cleaning up after you.”

Leo’s eyebrows rose and he huffed out a laugh, hardly believing his ears. “I’m sorry, who’s the one that leaves wet towels on the floor every fucking time he showers? Oh, but pardon me for taking an hour and a half to read after not sleeping because somebody was kicking me last night.”

“Both of you, cut it out,” Finn tried, holding his hands out to placate them. Blood thundered in Leo’s ears—he had no idea why his temper was flaring so suddenly, but he wasn’t going to back off and let Logan win. “Logan, I can finish the dishes. Leo, take a deep breath.”

“You’re taking his side now?” Leo asked incredulously. “You always take his side.”

“I’m not taking sides, I’m just trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you two!”

“What do mean, he always takes my side?” Logan crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, quiet rage twisting his face.

“That’s what you do.” The words were coming out of him in a torrent—unstoppable and furious. “You two tag-team every time we get in a fight and suddenly I’m outnumbered.”

“Wha—tag team?” Finn shook his head in disbelief. “Leo, what the fuck are you talking about? I love you, Logan loves you, and you love us.”

If Leo hadn’t been so angry, he probably would have missed Logan muttering under his breath. Instead, he rounded on him, his fists clenching and unclenching. “What did you just say?” Logan glared and kept his mouth shut. “Logan, what did you just say?”

“Nothing you’ll care about,” he said coldly.

Leo shook his head and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter. “Fuck off, Logan. Just fuck off.”

The slamming of the door behind him was not nearly satisfying enough to quell his nausea and the pounding in his head. He got in the car and turned off the radio with a hard jab to the CD port; the opening notes of one of Logan’s favorite songs from the road trip playlist made Leo’s eyes sting as he pulled out of the garage and headed down the road.

“What did I just do?” he asked the empty car. “Jesus, Leo, you just stormed out with no plan and left two angry boyfriends behind, and now you have nowhere to go and nothing to do and nobody to go home to—”

He pulled over, parked the car, and burst into tears. Leo hadn’t cried like that since his first night in Gryffindor, so far away from home and too afraid of waking Logan up with his sobs to do more than silently weep into his pillow. Logan had definitely heard anyway, because when he woke up the next morning there was a hot cup of coffee next to the door.

“I fucked up.” The steering wheel made his forehead itch. “I fucked up so bad, oh my god.”

You need to go somewhere, the reasonable voice in his head that sounded quite a bit like his dad chided. If you go back and apologize, they’ll take you back.

I can’t. It’s too soon and I’m still upset.

Then think. Who else cares enough to let you stay?

Leo sniffled and wiped at his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. No, not his sweater—Finn’s. It took him another five minutes to pull himself together enough to turn on his blinker and head out onto the road again, following the familiar path without even needing to check his phone. The December air made the dried tears on his cheeks extra cold as he walked up the driveway with his hands stuffed in his pockets, shivering in the cold. This was nothing like home.

He heard the doorbell ring through the house and stepped back a bit to admire the holiday lights in a rainbow of colors. They sparkled, a beacon against the night that made his heart clench. The door swung open a few moments later. “Hey, Leo, what’s…going on?” Remus trailed off.

“Hey,” he sniffled. “Uh, can I come in?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Remus moved to the side so he could enter and he slipped his shoes off in silence, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t absolutely lose it right on the welcome mat. “Are you okay? Sorry, bad question. What happened?”

“We got in a fight,” Leo said miserably, keeping his eyes on the floor. “Logan and I. Finn got dragged into it and really it was my fault and I just kinda left.”

“Okay. Do you want a hug?”

He nodded without a word and Remus wrapped him tightly in his arms. He rubbed soothing circles on his back—Leo felt more tears slide down his face as he melted into the warm touch. “I’m sorry for not letting you know I’d be here.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’re always glad to see you. Can we move into the kitchen for a sec so you can drink some water?”

“Once a PT, always a PT,” Leo joked halfheartedly as he pulled away and scrubbed at his eyes. “Ugh.”

The kitchen was cheerful and simple, with dark red walls and white cupboards. He sat down at the island and put his chin on his forearms as Remus got him a glass of water and dampened some paper towels. “I don’t know where I put the tissues, sorry.”

“Thanks, Loops,” he said, wiping his face.

“Re, was someone at the door?” Sirius came around the corner and stopped in his tracks. “Hey, Leo.”

“Hey.”

He glanced at Remus, then set his empty bowl on the counter and leaned against the fridge. “What’s up?”

“Logan and I got in a fight.”

“With each other?”

“No, with the mailman,” he snapped, instantly regretting it. His lower lip wobbled; this was just how the fight had begun in the first place. “Sorry. Yeah, with each other. And Finn.”

“Where are they?”

“At h—home.” His voice cracked on the last word. “I left.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus asked carefully, sitting down next to him.

Leo’s shoulders slumped and he rested his temple on Remus’ shoulder. “It was so stupid.”

“Don’t talk like that, it was clearly important.”

“I was reading for an hour instead of helping them clean up because I was so fucking tired, and Logan was frustrated that I wasn’t helping. Finn tried to calm us both down, but I accused him of taking sides and then Logan mumbled something and wouldn’t tell me what he said.” It all blubbered out on a fresh wave of emotion and Remus handed him the paper towel again.

“That doesn’t sound stupid,” Sirius said in the gentlest voice Leo had ever heard him use.

“Really?”

“Really. It sounds like you let some things build up for too long, like a volcano.”

Leo sniffled. “You sound like my dad.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“I think so.” He straightened up again and took a long sip of water. “God, I feel awful.”

Remus squeezed his shoulder. “I’m not surprised. Have you eaten recently?”

“We were going to have dinner when Lo finished with the dishes. So, no.”

“You want a sandwich?”

“Yes, please.” To Leo’s surprise, Sirius pulled a block of cheese out of the fridge and bread out of the cupboard. “You cook?”

He and Remus made identical ‘ehhh’ noises. “Un peu,” Sirius laughed. “I burn soup, but grilled cheese is easy.”

“How the fuck do you burn soup?”

“You want to know the worst part?” He looked over his shoulder briefly. “It was canned soup.”

“What?”

“Mhm. I turned the heat on high because I thought it would cook faster.”

Leo’s tide of emotions molded into total confusion. “Why would you do that? The instructions are on the can.”

“Strangely enough, that’s what I told him,” Remus said wryly. “And still it’s happened twice.”

“You are so mean to me,” Sirius sighed as he turned the stove on. “I make you grilled cheese sandwiches and this is the thanks I get?”

“Sorry, love.”

“How do you do that?” Leo asked.

Remus turned back to him. “Do what?”

“Have this…” He gestured vaguely. “Perfect, amazing relationship. How?”

Sirius snorted and returned to his place by the fridge. “It’s not perfect.”

“But you’re so happy all the time.”

“Aren’t you?” Remus asked. “When you’re with your boys, aren’t you happy?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately. “They’re the best thing in the world.”

“Do you have a perfect relationship?”

“Uh, no.”

“There’s your answer.” Remus spread his hands. “Fights happen. Sometimes you can’t stand to even be in the same room as your person, or your people. Sometimes it feels like everything they do drives you crazy. But that doesn’t mean you stop loving them, and they don’t stop loving you.”

“The fight wasn’t about me reading,” Leo said quietly. Understanding was beginning to settle in. “And it wasn’t about Logan leaving towels all over or me not pulling my weight. I think we both just had bad days. Is that normal?”

“I hope so,” Sirius said. “Three months after we moved in together, Remus slept on the couch for a week because he hated the way I left toothpaste on the sink.”

“I wasn’t even angry about the toothpaste.” Remus got up to refill Leo’s water glass. “I was scared we were moving too fast and that everything would fall apart.”

“I was—I am—scared,” Leo confessed. “There’s just so much happening all the time. Finn and Logan…they’re my center point. My anchor.”

Sirius slid a perfect grilled cheese sandwich onto a plate and handed it to him. “Then you should tell them that.”

Just as he took his first bite, the doorbell rang. Remus frowned. “We’re popular tonight.”

After checking his phone quickly, Sirius wandered down the hall, and in his absence a large black dog came out of the living room to set her head on Leo’s thigh. “Hey, Hattie.” He scratched her behind the ears and tore off a piece of his sandwich to give her.

“Oh. Hello.” Sirius sounded surprised.

“Hey, Cap.”

Leo froze and Remus’ eyes widened. “Have you heard from Leo?” Finn asked. “He’s not answering his phone.”

“Because of the fight,” Sirius said.

Remus dropped his face into his hands. “Tact,” he muttered. “We’ve talked about this.”

“Uh, yeah, actually.” Leo could picture Finn’s face in his head, uneasy and worried. “So he’s talked to you?”

“He’s been in our kitchen for the last half hour.”

“What?” Logan’s voice cracked. “He’s—can we come in?”

“No shoes in the house.” There was a moment of rustling, then a staccato pattern of footsteps in the hall before Logan and Finn appeared in the entrance.

“Mon dieu.” Logan nearly collapsed against the doorframe when he saw Leo; his eyes were red-rimmed and he seemed to be a bit of a wreck. “I’m so sorry, Peanut.”

“We’ll be upstairs if you need anything,” Remus said, slipping out of the room with a final glance to Leo.

“My phone was off, sorry,” he said quietly, feeding Hattie another bit of bread. The pressurized fury from before was completely gone—he only felt regretful now, and utterly exhausted. “I’m also sorry for yelling. And accusing you. And for dragging you into it, Finn. Oh, and for leaving.”

“I’m sorry, too.” Logan took two tentative steps closer and Leo stood up, holding his arms out. Relief crashed over his face and he nearly tackled him in a hug. “I took out my bad day on you and as soon as you were gone I regretted it. Merde, Leo, I’m sorry.”

Extra warmth cocooned them both as Finn joined the hug. “I love you both so much,” Leo mumbled into Logan’s hair.

Logan snuggled closer. “I love you, too.”

“Me, three.”

They all laughed weakly at that, stepping back and sitting down at the island. Leo bit the inside of his lip. “So…things were said.”

“Things were said,” Logan agreed. “I didn’t mean what I said about cleaning up after you.”

“I know. I didn’t mean what I said about tag-teaming.” He winced at the memory. “That was flat-out mean and uncalled for. And Finn…” Finn looked up from petting Hattie. “I used you as leverage and that was horrible.”

“Same here,” Logan said guiltily.

“Yeah, let’s not do that again, okay?” Finn looked between them and raised his eyebrows as they both nodded. “I don’t take sides when I’m choosing between my boyfriends.”

“Leo…” Logan started and trailed off.

“Yeah, Lo?”

He struggled for the words for a moment, then took a deep breath. “Do you—do you want to know what I said in the kitchen?”

In the kitchen…Leo wracked his brain and tried to remember. They had been arguing, and then Logan muttered something he couldn’t hear. He was tempted to say yes. “No, I’m good.”

“Really?”

He shrugged. “We were both upset. Whatever it is, I don’t think you meant it, so it doesn’t matter now. We’ve fought enough tonight.”

“Should we head home, then?” Finn suggested, taking both their hands. “I’m pretty tired and hungry.”

“You could ask Cap to make you a grilled cheese,” Leo joked. “They’re damn good.”

“Cap can cook?” they chorused incredulously.

[frogtanii]

this is rly long sorry for that.

i’m still mad at daichi for being ugh but him helping TAYLOR SWIFT out and being so unaware i love that

iwa is genuinely a rly bad manager. like they weren’t wrong to say he should have gotten fired. not only was his treatment of y/n (both underpaying them and the whole meet and greet fiasco) morally wrong but it was also dangerous and potentially illegal (i’m not a lawyer so idk). not to mention if meiko’s drinking is a concern, he should have watched her instead of doing who knows what. like do your fucking job.

the tension between iwa and oikawa is so high and i can’t wait to see how it unfolds. especially because most people tend to write iwa as being the one who feels insecure, so having that dynamic flipped (maybe it goes both ways idk we haven’t gotten iwa’s pov yet) is really interesting because it shows a lot of cracks in that relationship. especially with oikawa calling out iwa’s behavior instead of it being the other way around. i don’t remember the age order but from the way they act oikawa almost seems older to me? like yes he may act bubbly and childish at times but when it comes down to it he seems to hold a lot of maturity other members don’t. such as taking time to apologize to y/n without having to be called out or having spent time with her. something i think he understands that maybe the other boys don’t is that even if y/n did whatever meiko said she did, that treatment wasn’t okay. like i love the other boys but most of them had to realize y/n was basically a saint before giving her basic human respect. the reason why iwa comes off as younger to me is in his clear denial of meiko’s actions and how he acts as a manager. he has a lot of power but he uses as a way to force the house members to help fix stuff he should have prevented from happening, rather than being responsible and proactive like i feel he should be. like how he allowed the meet and greet to go down and then got frustrated with the house when it came back to bite them in the ass. idk if that makes sense but i’m too tired from taking a test today to put it into better words. basically a lot of his behaviors come off as a child trying to give off the appearance of an adult. while oikawa appears to be an adult who definitely messed up, but is responding appropriately.

samu leaving meiko alone makes me suspicious because he’s the most loyal one i would say. so like yes he may believe meiko can handle herself but it’s still weird he wouldn’t be near her. i would say meiko got mad and told samu to go away, but that doesn’t make complete sense because he’s pretty much the only one she hasn’t lashed out at. more likely, i would say samu is starting to get frustrated with her behavior, so he kind of left her to be on her own for a bit. but i also don’t think samu’s ready to admit that he’s unhappy. like i think going off on his own at the party was more of a subconscious act than a conscious one yk?

that tiny moment with atsumu and kiyoomi was so cute but that might just be that i’m a firm enforcer of sakuatsu agenda (both platonic and romantic).

drink water, rest, have some food, and thank you for the great chapter and all of the work you put in for us. i can’t express how much i appreciate it. - 🥝

i rlly like this message??? ty for sending it in skdhdjsn i’m just rlly happy people like the way i characterize oikawa sm <333 i hope u get some water n good too!!!! ur v kind, ily (platonically)

[bobbys-naughty-corner]

My very first fluff

Bokuto x reader (college au)

Warnings: fluff. Just something I dreamt of.

Why was it so hard to keep his eyes off you? It frustrated him so much to watch you. Looking at you dance, laugh and have fun with friends. Why did he even care about you anyways? Bokuto sipped the liquor from his cup and looked away. He could hear your distinct laughter over the music and large chattering crowd. He shouldn’t even be looking at other girls. But you, boy oh boy, you were... ugh! Bokuto hated that he even liked you. Hated when he’d stutter, blush or even laugh at random times if you even said a word to him. He hated that he even compared you to his girlfriend. The girl he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with. Someone he didn’t have to worry about while in separate school. But now he questioned if he loved her or thought it was easier to date someone just to fill in the romance in his life. He wasn’t looking for someone then but when she had asked him he said yes. See he didn’t get the same butterflies he did with you. He didn’t even blush when she flirted. It honestly felt like a forced relationship that was tearing down. He loved his girlfriend. He did! He prioritized her just like she wanted, did anything for her, treated her like a Queen. She was his queen, but why did his heart throb when he smelt your perfume? Why did he break out in sweat any time you approached? It was weird. So weird. Wasn’t that supposed to happen with his girlfriend? No, no maybe he just wasn’t seeing her the way he should. Maybe it’s the long distance. The time apart, the arguing, the ghosting. Yeah that could be it. Bokuto chugged the rest of his drink and disappeared into the party.

Your pov

I was having a blast. College parties were fun but it did feel a bit uncomfortable. I felt like someone was watching me. My friends hand me a small shot glass and I raised my brow at the small solo cup. “It’s plastic.” I said. “Girl whatever just take the shot and then find some blue bin to put it in.” My roommate rolled her eyes. I swallowed the shot and shivered as the hard liquor rolled down my throat. It stung and tasted horrible. I hated flavored liquor and I’m sure she gave me just that. I handed her the cup and she put another in my hand. “Again?” I complained but still took it. “Yeah we all have two!” She said taking hers. I tossed the drink back and scrunched my face. “Yuck!” I said aloud, smacking my lips. “Now let’s go!” My roommate put the cups on some random table and dragged the whole group deeper into the party.

I stumbled around the frat trying to find an exit. It was late, I was tired, hungry and drunk. I don’t even know how I’m going to make it to my dorm. I tripped over someone’s foot and hit someone with my head. “I’m sorry!” I said rubbing my head. When the person turned around I could barely make out their face. The light, intoxication and music distorted everything. “Y-YN?” The voice was very familiar. “Yeah. Who’reyou?” I asked trying to stand still but I could feel my body moving around as if my feet weren’t flat on the ground. “Are you okay?” They ignored my question. But I did too. “I think I had too much to drink.” I admitted. “Trying to get to my bed so I could sleep. It’s like 2 am.” I looked at my imaginary watch and then back to the person. I squinted my eyes hoping my vision would clear up. I vaguely made out the yellow eyes, spiked hair, and bleached tips. They were tall. My mind tried to remember who was built like them. “Bokuto! That’s your name right?” I said aloud. “Yeah, I sit behind you in Psychology.” I nodded finally remembering everything I knew about him. Which wasn’t much since we barely spoke to one another. “Well I guess I’ll see you in class Tuesday.” I tried walking pass him but he stopped me. Using his arm to block my path. “I-I’ll walk you back.” He offered. Well more like he stated. I looked up at him and nodded. I grabbed his hand, “okay walking buddy, lead the way.” I said. His fingers squeezed my hand and tried to let go. Not happening. If I let go and blink he’ll be gone. Bokuto stayed still and I groaned. I pulled him to the exit and weaved pass bodies. Holding his hand tightly so he wouldn’t get separated.

I swung our arms back and forth as I damn near skipped beside him. “Did you have fun?” I asked him. “Uh, y-yeah I guess.” He said. Avoiding any eye contact with me. “Oh really. I know you was hugging that wall. You didn’t even look comfortable. I guess that why you want to walk back to the dorms. Well lucky for you, I’m here to take you back safely.” I cheered. “Actually I’m walking you back. And I guess I’m just out of it tonight.” He confessed. “Oh boohoo. You’re in college, your fun is finally here. I’ve seen how you act around your friends all loud and energetic. You were supposed to be the main one swinging from that ugly ass chandelier.” I said to him. I heard him chuckle and smiled at him. “But seriously you shouldn’t drown your feelings with alcohol. Let’s talk about it. We got a bit of a walk.” I moved closer to him and hugged his arm. Bokuto stayed silent though until he sighed. “I, I have, I haven’t been doing too well in class.” He dropped his head. “Oh come on! That can’t be it. Everyone in there is probably failing a class. I’m failing math but that shit is super hard and I didn’t buy textbook. I think I know what it is.” I poked his arm and pressed my body against him more. Bokuto blushed and tried to hold up my weight and walk at the same time. “Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked. I pulled away from him and waited on his answer. He nodded his head. “Is she here?” I continued to ask simple questions leading into more detailed questions.

“Do you talk everyday?”

“She’s not talking to me right now.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.

“Do you still love her?”

“Yes... maybe. Idk it’s like the feels are going away.” There it was. He began to rant. “When we both started college everything was great. We’d talk everyday, shared our schedules, even had online dates. But now she barely replies back, says she’s in class even after school hours. Last month she ghosted me for a week and said that her phone got hacked and she lost my number. How could you lose my number when you made me remember yours. Ugh! She drives me crazy. I want to love her but I’m stuck. It’s like there’s nothing to love. She slipped from my hands and I have no clue where she’s going.” He concluded. Wow. That’s tough. I rubbed his back and tried to encourage him. “Oh don’t worry. Give her time if you think she’s worth the wait. Every woman has her own struggle.” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I don’t think that she is. And I don’t want to think I used her. I thought she was perfect for me. Then someone else came along and she started to drift, I don’t know.” Wait, someone else? “As in some guy came into her life?” I asked but he shook his head. “Oooooh you like someone. Juicy. Would you like to hear my advice?” I asked. I made us stop so he could listen. “I think, this could be the liquor talking but I think you should break up. If you still feel a connection then wait for the right time to fix that relationship. But if your heart says something else then you should listen to yourself. No knows you better than you, and your body wouldn’t put itself in harms way.” I rubbed his arms and looked into his eyes. He didn’t look drunk. But how could I tell, I’m so close to just dropping to the ground. “I’ve never been in a relationship though and I don’t know your situation all that well but I know when my heart tells me something I don’t always have to listen. But sometimes the heart wants what it wants. Plus most relationships don’t last when people enter college anyway. Just a fact.” I told him. I wish I had my glasses, I could see better with them on.

At the dorm I literally remembered that I didn’t bring my key or ID. “Sooo, I actually can’t get to my room...” I said, partially embarrassed. “You can stay in my dorm. I have a single room.” He offered. My eyes lit up and my smile spread across my face. I just wanted to lay down. He led me to another dorm building and let me in. His room was on the 4th floor all the way at the end. Inside was neat. Although his volleyball obsession was very clear from the posters all over his wall. When my eyes landed on his bed I immediately jumped on it. The bed was high, he must’ve done that because he was tall. Bokuto sat on the other side and kicks his shoes off. Mine fell off my feet when I jumped. “I’m going to shower.” He said. My body shot up. I wanted to shower too. Ugh I wish I was in my room! Bokuto looked at me surprised that I got up so quickly. “Do you want to take a shower after me? I can give you clean clothes.” He got off the bed and looked through his Chester to find something for me. “You’re so nice!” I said rolling around his large bed.

Bokuto pov

What was I doing?! GFN would kill me if she knew I had a girl in my room. I can’t tell her. No one knows. I’m sure YN would even forget being in here. I pulled out a sweatshirt and shorts I practice in. When I turned back YN was standing at my mirror, making faces. How could she be so cute? “Did you dance with anyone?” She asked me. “No. Here wear this. You can shower before or after. I have extra towels.” She ignored what I said and shook her ass in the mirror. My eyes glued to her butt. Watching her dress rise up showing the colorful panty she wore. Fuck! It was hard to look away. It was hard to stop getting hard. You stood up and came over to me. I held the clothes out to you and you took it but put it down. You entangled your hand in mine and spun yourself into my chest. Moving you hips against my crotch. “Dance with me.” You said twirling around like a drunk. You were drunk. “I have a girlfriend.��� I said without thinking. You frowned but then smiled. “See that. Loyalty. You should try calling her. Probably before your shower.” You dropped my hand and walked to the bed. You looked sad and disappointed.

Your pov

Who was I kidding? He has a girlfriend which you told him to break up with. Fucking Dumbass.

It was quiet and awkward after we both showered. No one spoke. We laid far away from each other. Practically falling off the bed as we both slept at the edge. I kept the blanket on my legs since I wore a sweater. Bokuto wore a white shirt with shorts. He was probably asleep too. I moved around in the bed, vey uncomfortable and hot. The sweater smelled just like him, so did the bed and the whole room. I sat up and looked at Bokuto’s back. Don’t turn around. I quickly took the sweater off and fell back into the bed. I quickly got under the blanket before he turned over. “Are you okay?” He asked. I held the blanket under my neck leaving no room for him to see what I did. I nodded my head and turned around. What time is it? I swear I always tired earlier. Why am I not asleep now? Bokuto put his hand on the back of my neck and I shivered. “You’re cold.” He stated. His hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me back to him. I squeaked and blushed. He was most definitely warm and I most definitely didn’t have a top on. His body cuddled mine. Pressing against me and squeezing me. God, why did you let my life play out like this. “Can I tell you something?” He asked me. “Yeah. I’m listening.” I said still with my back to him. “I spoke to GFN. She explained why she wasn’t replying back.” His arm pulled me closer and I could literally hear the pain in his voice. Did she cheat? Are they over with? Why am so excited about this? “What did she say?” I wanted to hug him but I just rubbed the arm that wrapped around me. “She said she wanted to break up.” He paused. “Then she told me why. She’s pregnant. She’s been going to the hospital and that’s why she’s been avoiding me.” What a turn of events. I really wasn’t expecting that. I slowly turned around making sure I still covered my chest. I hugged him softly and he hugged back. “She doesn’t deserve you.” I said. “Maybe this the sign you need to listen to your heart. I’m sure the next person will treasure you.” I felt his hands on my back. They were so big, his fingers spread out but then they ball into a fist against by my skin. Bokuto quickly and smoothly puts me on my back and kisses me. I gasped and he put his tongue in my mouth. “Mmph!” His body was way too heavy for me to push off. His tongue tried to get mine to move but when I didn’t he pulled away. “I-I I’m sorry!” I was shocked. Too shocked to kiss back. “You’ve been so nice and understanding I just-“ I cut him off. “Sex with a stranger won’t lead to closure.” I told him. “To me you’re not a stranger. I like you. A lot. The moment I saw you in class my heart just wanted to be next to you. I didn’t feel the same way about my girlfriend. I thought about you more than her. You are so fun and goofy. I thought that it was your body and the separation but the more I gave it thought the more I realized I’m in love with you.” He confessed. What? Huh?

My blush wasn’t as visible as his but I was still flustered. This has to be one of the most awkward confessions I’ve ever got. But I just so happen to like him too. He’s handsome, funny, tall, Athletic, I mean come on. He has such an extraordinary quality about him that just makes people around him look up to him and admire him. He’s smart, social, caring, just an all around amazing person. His eyes trailed lower and his face turned red. Eyes wide and alert as he gazed at my chest. I quickly folded my arms and he looked back up. As if his brain rebooted he sat up and moved. “I’m sorry.” He apologized again. He got up and headed for his door. “W-where are you going?!” I said aloud. “To let you sleep.” He opened his door and nearly closed it before I could even finish my sentence. “I don’t want to sleep alone!” I yelled. The door cracked open and the light from the hallway peered in. “I like you too but-“ he opened the door wider and was crying. He ran and tackled me on his bed. Crushing my body under his.

Narrative pov

Bokuto didn’t care if he didn’t have anyone. He truly wanted someone to relate to, to laugh at his corny jokes, give him the time of day. He didn’t want to be an accessory or molded into the perfect boyfriend. You were right for him. He knew it, he felt it. You tapped his arm to let him know that you wanted him up. “Can I finish?” You asked covering your chest with the blanket. Bokuto nodded, he’d listen to anything you say like it was his favorite radio station. “I do like you too. Love is a strong word and I’ve told you I’ve never been in a relationship so as much as my heart flutters with joy and aches with excitement to hear you like me too, I have to at least have some time. Time to see how we’d work together, time to prepare myself, time to dedicate myself to you. You play volleyball, that may be in the way of having a relationship. So we can have a trial of one month and if things go smoothly then I would love to be your girlfriend. That is if you want to start dating. If you just want sex then Imma leave because I don’t tolerate drunk sex.” “YN if it takes a year for you to feel ready then I’ll be waiting the whole year.” He kissed the back of my hand and leaned in for a hug. “Can I get your number?” Bokuto asked you. He went to get his phone so you can put them digits in.

[salemorbit]

Hi! May I request a BotW/AoC matchup if you’re still accepting them?

I’m chill with male and female matchups!! I’m about five feet tall, have fair skin, and blue-grey eyes. I have fairly long wavy hair that reaches by hips, but I’m growing it out to be much longer! I prefer comfy clothes that keep my skin covered as I’m kinda self conscious. I like really any pastel colors, particularly blue and pink. I’m female and use she/her pronouns!

I’m kinda quiet and introverted, but I do have moments where I break out of that shell around my close friends. But I am often tired out after spending long amounts of time with people face to face (not so much anymore because of what’s going on rn) to a point where I’m physically exhausted. But I love making people laugh with stupid jokes and pictures!! I really like doing research and learning about new things. I get frustrated really easily and wind up in tears because of it, on top of being really emotional and sensitive. I am a big fat horse person, and always have been. I’m really creative and spend most of my time working on something within the fantasy-genre, whether r be a fic or an OC. Kinda hopelessly romantic, even though I’m super inexperienced :clown: I’m a big sucker for it and by no means am I ashamed. Also, I love animals,,,please if they’re small and fluffy I’ll inherently love them.

Thanks in advance! Take care and be sure to drink some water!

hi omg thank u ive been busy and have been slackin UGH u caught me i'll go get some water lmao

thank you for the request!! i hope you like it :)

~~~~~~~

BOTW/AOC Matchup!

Based on your characteristics, I think you'd do best with.......

Mipha!

~~~~~~~~

cute af

you and mipha are similar in introversion but you bring out the best in her when you're around the others :)

you love to hang around the zora domain and look at the lushness of the wetlands while mipha tags along and listens to the little tidbits of info you shoot out here and there for things

wearing comfier and longer clothing really helps in the zora domain too since it's so damp and usually kind of cold

if you're ever around other people and your social battery starts to dwindle, mipha is pretty in-tune with reading body language and will either coax you into something quieter or make up an excuse to get you away and relaxing

she loves your hair and constantly wants to play with it and learn different hairstyles that would make you look pretty aw

mipha's calm nature would keep you grounded i think and idk i feel like would just compliment you :)

if you get stumped about something you're researching about, say, you can't figure out where to find a certain plant in hyrule and you need to help purah with research, your frustration can usually get to the better of you

you sometimes hole yourself up and push yourself to figure things out, but mipha can usually get through your walls and help you back to reality

she'll talk you through your frustrations and get you to breathe and organize yourself so things are a bit easier

if you want her to, she'll even help you with your search for whatever you're stumped on!

you can break tension with a little joke you insert into the conversation, and mipha really appreciates that about you because she often clams up (no pun intended lol) when things get tense

like if there's a particular conversation between her and her father that went awry regarding her safety or something, you can lighten the mood of the room substantially with a small insert

you really try your best with her own frustrations as well

during the calamity, she fought to keep you by her side and under her protection

you also aided in the research portion of dealing with the calamity, so you were a valuable asset alongside robbie and purah

mipha would no doubt lay down her life for you, and she treasures you for all you're worth (which is a lot!)

she was never really a horse person herself, but she adored the way that you gushed about horses and their care as well as stories you had about your experiences with them

often she would accompany you to the nearest stable so that you could see the horses and get to ride them around

she knew that that was a safe space for you that you loved, so if you ever felt down or upset she would make a point to go to a stable and let you hang around it for a day

don't even get me started on your adoration for the dogs at the stables because the way you act toward them just makes mipha's little heart go brrrr

mipha loves you inside and out and would never trade you for the world! (because you're her world hehe)

~~~~~~~~

thank you so much again!

requests are welcome :)

[takoyakitenchou]

masquerade ch.8

7? idk but this one isn’t on ff or ao3 yet i think

12:58 PM Nakiri Erina: Hi, it’s been a while. Are you free the day after tomorrow?

1:03 PM Yukihira Souma: how’d u get this #?

1:04 PM Nakiri Erina: Alice gave it to me. 

1:04 PM Yukihira Souma: sup

1:05 PM Nakiri Erina: I’m opening Kiralyno Haza. It’s not like I want you to show up or anything.

message opened

1:37 PM Nakiri Erina: Hello?

2:40 PM Yukihira Souma: hey sorry i just got on break. congrats nakiri!

2:41 PM Nakiri Erina: It was expected.

2:41 PM Yukihira Souma: surprised it took you so long to open. hurry up and get your 3 stars bubs then we’ll really see who’s the better chef

2:41 PM Yukihira Souma: and did you get tired of shinomiya or did he get tired of you?

2:42 PM Nakiri Erina: I got tired of him. Duh. Are you not coming?

2:42 PM Yukihira Souma: save 4 seats for me. i’ll be a balloon by the time im done w your food also i hope you have enough ingredients for a shokugeki after

“Ugh. You’re as shit at texting as ever,” Erina groaned, throwing down her phone, but then she picked it up again to stare at those four particular characters. Bubs. God, it had been so long since she’d seen that in her messages.

(under the cut to see souma and erina start to get their shit together lol)

To think that she had been the one to break the radio silence between them — good lord, that was fucking annoying. It was weird to think about. There had been plenty of opportunities for them to talk again, and yet they’d somehow managed to evade each other since they’d run into each other at Nakiri Mansion. Whether this was coincidence she had no idea, but Souma hadn’t been at the official Totsuki-sponsored 92nd gen alumni reunion, and Shinomiya had dragged Erina to some culinary conference that made her miss the freshman training camp where Souma threatened the living shits out of the poor first years but ended up not cutting anybody from the roster.

Erina had done her best not to linger on the fact that she had had to ask Alice for Souma’s new number, but goddamn would that remain at the forefront of her mind for the week following Kiralyno Haza’s debut until she got frustrated enough to the point where she damn near chucked her own phone out the window.

It was thanks to Alice that her condo was still in one piece.

The COO of the Nakiri-Totsuki Group was sitting next to her at a bar in Budapest, helping herself to her third shot of tequila, a few empty glasses and a growing tab between them. “Yukihira’s coming?”

Erina nodded, smiling despite herself. “Yeah. I guess he is.”

Taking sudden interest in her drink, Alice remained silent for a thoughtful moment before she said, “I haven’t seen you this happy since you two broke up.”

With a half-hearted huff, Erina scoffed, “Yeah, right.”

Alice gave her a long look. “I’m not kidding, Erina. Who was that other guy you were seeing? Darren?”

“Aaron. Darren was before him.”

“Doesn’t he have a 3000-seater concert hall named after him?”

“I couldn’t care less.” Erina said, and Alice knew it was 593% true. 

Whenever tolerating a guy got tedious, Erina had extinguished whatever spark he thought he had ignited, pretended to be hung up on it, and started over, systematically breaking hearts left and right, all the while building titanium defenses around her own.

And then, a year and half ago, she’d seen Yukihira Souma at Nakiri Mansion, and everything had changed. 

So. Much. Pining. Alice was more than a few years past sick of how long those two idiots were dragging their shit out.

Erina picked up her belongings. “We should probably stop day-drinking.”

“Sure,” Alice said, paying the tab before Erina could get her wallet out.

“I’ll pay you back for that,” Erina promised as they left the bar.

Alice put a hand on Erina’s shoulder. “You can pay me back by not fucking up your confession again.”

At this, Erina frowned. A withering counter should’ve been second nature, but she found herself incapable. She wanted to believe that whatever piece of her heart that had clung to the hope that Yukihira Souma would come back to her was nothing more than a memory. More than anything, she wished the voice at the back of her head telling her to move on and forget him and their past would finally win out, because there were people in her present waiting for her, and it would be a sin to ignore that.

But she couldn’t say the words; her heart belonged to Yukihira Souma — would always belong to him — and all broken promises and relationships notwithstanding, that was something she could not deny.

-

Although Souma technically hadn’t been invited to the kitchen for shift drinks when the front doors closed, he had taken the liberty of bringing a bottle of cab sauv that he and Erina finished in like ten seconds flat, to hell with sharing with staff, family, and friends.

The second she felt the words wanna come over? slip out of her atmosphere-drunk mouth, she knew it was going to take more self-control than she had not to demand he stay with her forever. 

“So, Yukihira,” she said like they hadn’t been catching up for the last two hours when they were sitting on the couch in her living room with pinot noir. “How’ve you been?”

The corners of Souma’s lips twitched. “Not bad,” he replied. “Mostly cooking. A few interviews and shit. I’ve been keeping up with all your stuff, by the way. Three tastings in twelve hours next Monday seems like too much, Nakiri.”

Erina frowned. “Even if you were as talented a stalker as Mimasaka Subaru, how the fuck would you know that?”

He held up his phone. “You were signed into my calendar app when I last downloaded a backup copy four years ago. So every time I get a new phone, I transfer all the old data.”

Erina stared at him, horrified. “Holy shit. You’ve seen everything?”

Shrugging, Souma said, “Not everything. Just… your dates with Darren. And Aaron. Also, I knew about Kiralyno opening before you texted me so I’d already cleared out my schedule by then.”

Erina had stopped listening halfway through. “Wait, Yukihira…”

“It’s okay, Nakiri.” Souma waved it off. “You’re here with me now. All that matters. Let’s not look too far into our past, yeah?”

“Don’t look into my future either, idiot! Sign out of my Google calendar right now!”

Souma shook his head seriously. “Sorry, Nakiri, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“Why the fuck not?”

He gazed at her intently and rested his chin on his fist. “I need to make sure I’ll still be in it.”

Erina rolled her eyes. “Don’t say sappy shit like that. It doesn’t suit you.”

“What if I just stayed?” he asked.

She sighed. “I think the question is, would I even let you? I thought we’re putting the past behind us? Don’t you want this back?” She pointed at the white cloth she was wearing on her wrist. His white cloth.

Souma ignored the second question and pulled Erina to him by her waist, close enough that she could feel his warm breath as he spoke, forehead brushing hers. “Another thing we both know is that you and I could never be just friends.”

“Take your hands off me or I swear I’m either going to spill my wine or kiss you, and I seriously do not care which.”

He leaned back with a sad smile. “You wouldn’t let me stay, would you, Nakiri?”

“I couldn’t,” she said helplessly. “We don’t even know where our lines are.”

“Do we need lines?” Souma asked, finishing his glass and balancing it on his knee. “You and I are beyond this dimension.”

Erina stared at him, memorizing every last square centimeter of his features — the way his hair seemed to get shorter every time they met until he somewhat resembled someone of his culinary pedigree; the way the creases formed on his sleeves along the contours of his toned arms.

“You know, Nakiri, if you let me stay, you wouldn’t have to stare so much.”

She tore her gaze from his collarbone, her whole face turning red. In all her twenty-one years, that had to be the most embarrassing moment of her life. “Shut up! I’m not staring!”

He was watching her with wistful eyes. “I wouldn’t mind if you were…” 

And they both heard it.

I wouldn’t mind if you were mine.

[ghoulkillz]

☆Come on ! Talk !

𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘒𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘺𝘢𝘮𝘢 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘖𝘪𝘬𝘢𝘸𝘢'𝘴 𝘚/𝘖 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? 𝘛𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘶, 𝘐 𝘭𝘶𝘷 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘦𝘩𝘦🥺🥺 (𝘴𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘰 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘮𝘢𝘺 <𝟥 )

a/n: i live for angst

✧okay so like oikawa tooru is a very jealous caring boyfriend

✧he suchs a caring boyfriend that he looks out for you

✧you know? the simple, if you look at my girlfriend in that way- ha ! i will break your nose :DD

✧hes- okay fine

✧he might not show it but hes super insecure about himself and doesnt want to loose you for someone better okay :’(

✧he acts cocky and all but hes deeply scared and doesn’t want to the thought of you finding him boring or not worth dating anymore

✧which is why he  possessives looks out for you

✧so when he sees you talking to this one person he doesnt like

✧he throws a fit

✧HE KNOWS that this person just wants to get in your pants

✧but due to his pride he-

✧he bottles it up

✧in his mind hes probs thinking : they’ll go away ^___^

✧so when he sees you hugging them,,,

✧hurt just pure in pain

✧but smile thru the pain :D

✧so when you go and hug him from behind, he acts like he’s fine

✧this goes on for like 3 months until

✧he,,, HE JUST SEES YOU PLAY WITH THEIR HAIR

✧he cracks- why?

✧BECAUSE THATS YOUR THING THAT MAKES HIM ADORE YOU

✧he drags you out of their arms, waking you up

✧cue some ✨angst✨

✧here you are defending yourself saying “they’re a friend and they just soft like that”

✧and then oikawa hits with you “oh then its okay for me to flirt with my fangirls if thats the case then huh?

✧that hurts? but he did have a point

✧BUT YOU DIDNT LISTEN AND KEEP ARUGING OMFG

✧so he gets tired of your shit and leaves.

✧you think: pfft he’ll come back

✧plus you’ll ignore him tmmr

✧play your cards right, y/n. oikawa is clingy

✧deadass after he went home he started texting you

✧and you ofc, leave him on read <3

Oikawa waits for you outside of the school. He was waiting for you for nearly 16 minutes. Nothing. He knows he shouldn't have said that. BUT YOU WERE TOO CLOSE WITH THEM HOW COULD HE NOT-. No oikawa, calm down, they’ll forgive you ^__^ !. He even bought you your favorite snack and favorite hoodie you love to wear. What could he go wrong?

When he sees you and yells out your name “Y/N, LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT YOU” with the biggest smile on his face, it slowly drops when you walk inside. He watches you- his heart hurts. WAIT NO, ARE YOU GOING TO BREAK UP WITH HIM? OIKAWA CALM DOWN !. 

He keeps following you, trying to talk with you. But you simply just. Not look at him. It hurts. When he sees you go in the bathroom he slowly sigh to himself. He’ll talk to you at lunch. YEAH ! lunch it is :D !

Not going as planned. You're just talking to iwa ! the ! whole ! time ! >:(. Again after again he tries so hard  to talk to you. But as much he tried, you were saved by the bell. You almost gave up the act. Oikawa brown eyes just looking at you everytime you walk by just aches your heart.

This went on for a week. No talking, not even listening to him. HE’S NOT SAYING SORRY EITHER. God, why is he so stubborn and dumb. Maybe if he just apologizes, you would have both been holding hands now >:(. You even stopped talking to the person !

After school you start packing your stuff and start heading outside. Walking home, you keep thinking about the billion text messages he sent.  And there he is again. Outside of your house. Alone and sad eyes. He’s playing with his fingers again. Yep it's time to forgive him. 

You walk towards him “Y/N, PLEASE JUST LISTEN TO ME, IM SO SO SORRY FOR SAYING THAT DUMB SHIT TO YOU” He wants to hug you so badly right now. “Please if you want to break up with me i understand but-”

“Woah woah, who said i was gonna break up with you?” “Y/N YOU TALKED OH MY GOD” oikawa screams as he wraps his arounds around you. “I really am sorry for hurting you, i shouldn't have made you feel bad for talking to your friends its just-”

“Tooru, its okay! Just don't say it again” “so does that mean i can kiss you right” “no. no it does not” You giggle as oikawa grumbles

✧okay so angry boi >:(

✧this mans just

✧only thinks about volleyball okay

✧not even other stuff like eating or idk

✧SPENDING TIME WITH HIS S/O

✧like helloo?? does the name y/n ring a bell

✧okay so toxic!kageyama is just.

✧um, not understanding at all or even try to

✧like youre his s/o why arent you supporting him

✧like kageyama, they are supporting you but you have to do the same bby

✧like you talk about your favorite things and hes like “oh thats cool”

✧no flavor, no interest at ALL !

✧its almost like he’s dating himself you know?

✧he cant wait for you but you have to wait for him for EVERYTHING

✧dates, school, pratice even napping together

✧and once you bring it up

✧he just

✧?? argues

✧not only argues but is really fucking mean too

✧you seen him get mad and all

✧just not with you

✧and hes all puff puff

✧he mostly doesnt mean anything he says AT all

✧but like omg-

“Y/n why are you being like this” Kageyama stops in front of you “You know i didn’t mean it” You roll your eyes and walk away. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE. Fuck him and his volleyball. He really did hurt you and expect to just smile? No fucking way.

Man, kageyama just can't get you. You were being honest and now you can't take him being honest. You're so frustrating and ugh. Hinata sees him down and asks why, while in practice. Oh god then comes the whole team,,, great. Hinata big mouth once again just had to be loud

Oh? Is the great king gonna lose his queen? I wouldn't be surprised” The old gremlin tsukishima just had to speak huh. Now kageyama is even more annoyed. “Maybe you should just listen to them more, i mean you do care about them right? Daichi looked at kageyama“I do care but i don't understand why they got all mad” “Repeat what you said” “i said all they do is bitch and whine” Silence. Just silence. 

Then the team was coming for kageyama and his dumbness “Wow king, i knew you bad, but not this bad” tsukishima snorts “Poor y/n, they have to deal with the king”

“Fuck off” Kageyama’s even more annoyed now. “Try clearing it up today, i don't know, buy her flowers or her favorite things” Daichi the wise one was making sense in kageyama dense brain

“Unless you want y/n to not talk to you for the rest of your life tobio” Sugawara teased himNot talking to you? For the rest of his life? Nope ! not gonna happen. He rushed outside the practice doors to buy you your favorite stuff. Then rushed his way to your house. He was banging and ringing your bell like a maniac. 

For what seemed like hours was actually like 3 minutes, you finally opened the door. “Kageyama-” “LISTEN I WILL BE A BETTER BOYFRIEND BUT DONT STOP TALKING TO ME EVER” He gets on his knees and holds your feet “please forgive me, i love you so much i can't not tell you how much you make me happy” and then he cries softly

“Kageyama” you rub his back “I’m so sorry, I will never say that ever again, I promise you” he looks up with tears in his eyes. 

[dangan-happy]

What’s you turnip prices?

For Komaru and Hiyoko.

So I have two siblings. Notably, I have an older brother who I’ve never really gotten along with. We’ve gotten a bit closer over the last couple of years, but more like friendly acquaintances than siblings. I don’t really mind us staying in our own lanes, but what bugs me is how overbearing he can be. (I feel like there’s a bettwer word but whatever.) Basically he just always wants to be in control of everything and tends to treat everyone else as somewhat incompetent or fragile (especially me because I’m the youngest out of everyone). He’s also always kept a strict “sleep schedule” where he’ll say he’s going to sleep at an obscenely early time (a few times it was around 7:15), then mill in and out of his room for a few hours and then actually go to sleep around the same time as the rest of us if not a bit earlier. The thing about that is that he would always come out and scold my sibling and I to be quiet if we were “being loud”. Talking at a normal volume in the room next to the stairs qualified as loud. I’ve tried talking to our dad about it but he always just said that he doesn’t want to get involved with our relationships with each other and that’s something we should sort out. We live with our mom now (moved in recently enough that I haven’t really talked to her about this yet) but I fear that she’ll react the same way. Regardless, I still haven’t really gotten to the point. So tonight I came home from band camp around 9:20 pm. I was particularly tired so I decided to lay down for a bit before I made myself dinner. I guess I was more tired than I thought because I ended up going to the kitchen at about 10:40 (though I was also distracted by something I was working on so don’t be concerned about me being that tired). I put a pot on the stove to start making some instant mashed potatoes (Note that this would use a single pot, which I would then take the potatoes out of and put it away in like 10 minutes max). I was standing at the stove when he told me to “do this some other time” because “it’s kind of late for pots and pans”. I tried to say something in my defense (I don’t remember what) but he seemed upset and I really did not want to argue so I just dumped out the water and put it in the dishwasher. That made very little sound. Then he went back into his room, I went back to mine for a bit, and then went back out to look for something to eat. We’ve had to clear out to kitchen because of ants and mold so there wasn’t too much. I ended up eating a bagel but I’m still just frustrated. I don’t like having my plans change like that even in small ways so what he did made me upset, and I’m just not happy that he always takes it upon himself to decide what we can and can’t do. Idk what I should do about it.

Ugh, I’m not a fan of answering things when it comes to siblings, only because older siblings are such a pain. Almost as big of a pain as that pig faced Mikan. But just for you Anon, I’ll try my best to comfort you the best that I can.

Ah, overbearing kind of person huh? That sounds like it can get annoying after a long time. And when it gets to their heads, they want to control every single thing that you or anyone else does. And judging by everything that you’ve just explained, I can see why it’s a total pain.

I’m no good at this kind of stuff so maybe Komaru would be better help. Especially because most of my go to would be to rebel but that’s not a good idea. Wouldn’t want you to get hurt Anon.

Heh, you at least did good with comforting them, Hiyoko! Your method of rebelling wouldn't do this anon much good, b-but I'm glad you at least acknowledge that! Heh, I-I guess it makes sense to ask for me on this one, since I not only have a sibling, but an older sibling, too...

Yeah, wow, he sounds like a total pain in the butt. And believe me, I can understand you not liking your plans being changed; I know someone just who's like that. I hate to hear that your dad basically shrugged it off and decided to 'leave it up to you guys to sort out'. I mean, in one way, I can get that if it was just the usual sibling argument or debate, y'know? Something minor and short-term. But this isn't exactly that minor, and it's long-term, too. Personally though, now that you're living with your mother, while I can understand worrying that her reaction will be the same as your dad's, you'll never truly know until you confront her. Tell her about your situation, and that you told your dad, but that he didn't do anything or really try. And hey, if her reaction turns out to be the same as your dad's, then as much as you may hate this, then you've got one last resort: Confronting your older brother yourself.

I-I know, I know, the last thing you'd probably want to do is confront him yourself. I-I should know; I've had to confront Makoto myself whenever we've had really arguments and I needed to own up to something, with it being vice versa, too. If you're afraid of getting tongue-tied though, then get some help from your mom, or write down what you want to say and talk about with your brother. It doesn't hurt to try, and even if that sadly doesn't work, then at least you can say that you tried, y'know?

I hope that helps out some, anon. But hey, sibling struggles; been there, done that, so at least you know that you're not alone in this case, heh. If you need any more advice, comfort, or even a hug, feel free to come back, okay? And feel free to update me or Hiyoko on things, if you want. Take care now, anon!

[malepresentingleg]

is it 2013 again? cause i have a rant about teen wolf coming and i feel 16 y/o.

so due to dome heavy procrastination I've consumed a lot of teen wolf content, i skipped a bunch of episodes and a lot of scenes in the ones i haven't but i still have some Thoughts TM

it's good??? i had a Good Time watching, it was funny but intense and dark and i felt Feelings watching, some of the plotlines were meh (or maybe i just skipped them heh) but a lot were interesting and i loved the characters and their interaction

scott. my sweetheart. my baby. such a cutiepie, such a great protagonist 10/10 i love him and would die for him. he's so pure and cute and his little smile melts my heart. i love how he's fundamentally Human no matter how non human he is. he's a great character all around and i kinda wish they didn't do that shit to him at the end (imma get there) or treated him like he ISN'T the protagonist for such big parts of the shows

people KNOW. Stiles knows from day one, allison finds out soon, his mom finds out in season 2! the sheriff in 3, and they just become part of the gang and can help them with stuff bc they UNDERSTAND. shows like that get really tiring when the teens constantly lie to everyone around them and it was very refreshing. the running gag with the coach ruining things tho was funny and I'm ok with it.

Ok this is mellisa appreciation time. she's SUCH a great, complex and unusual mom-of-hero character. i absolutely love her and her attitude, i love how she's not simply being used as a tool to cause scott pain (just.. sometimes) and their relationship is parenting goals.

also isn't it fucking hilarious how she's a nurse but she just knows everything medical. she's also a surgeon and a mortician and a doctor. ik it's for plot reasons but it funny af.

in general women on the show.. had a lot of potential, i love them, but i hate how they were treated.

allison was all around great imo, her and scott's relationship was built very well and was two sided from the start (unlike... yeah), she has emotions, she's smart and brave, but also human and scared, she kicks ass and, again, exists outside of Scott's GF status (mostly). andddd they killed her. idk if the actress had to/wanted to leave or it was a pure writers decision bc they needed to keep just her father or something, but that would have been ok if not for all the other things

we have 3 main kickass ladies with powers- lydia, kira and malia. lydia spent close to FIVE whole seasons not knowing anything about her abilities/not knowing how to control them. cmon, it gets old. scott masters his powers after a season or two (and had control a lot sooner), parrish finds out what he is like half a season after it becomes relevant etc.

malia- do i need to explain? she was CONSTANTLY struggling controlling her abilities, no matter how badass she supposedly was. and kira oh boy, they did her dirty, didn't they?

kira was such a cute adorable character. i loved her and her little crush on scott and wanting to make friends and being freaked out about relationships, i love her discovering her past and heritage and learning to fight and gaining control and becoming a badass. but. what? they just undid all this? oh no the fox is taking over she has no control no agency of her own she needs to disappear for years now bye :( again, idk if the actress needed to leave but it was so unsatisfying and was insulting to the character. she wasn't even mentioned later a bunch like allison was, just they needed her mom for a plot tool and didn't even acknowledge it was her sword they were breaking. uhm rude?

LET WOMEN HAVE POWERS AND BE AWESOME WITH THEM. and not just minor/bad characters thanks.

i love the concept of a pack on the show and how you don't have to be a werewolf to be a part of it, how scott becomes a true alpha and how he cares about his friends. i kinda feel like in later seasons him being an alpha was more talk than show which like /: meh. like i said, he stopped BEING the main character, just talked about as if he was.

i love how friendship is valued, but i think it could be more.. i mean the scene in the motel, all season 3b, scott and lydia, all the girls with each other.. i love it. too many times tho it "wasn't enough" and only romantic love worked which SUCKS. in 6a i was so happy scott went in to try and remember stiles and the memories hit me right in the heart. then when it "wasn't enough" i was SO pissed and frustrated goddammit. i guess that leads me to the next point-

ships, should i talk about ships? i don't want hate in my asks but oh well it's been a few years maybe there's no fandom to care. I'll start with the end

malia and scott. what. the. fuck. when, out of fucking no where, they had like a lingering look or something i was just "nope. no thanks". and then every scene they had together i had to cover my eyes bc it felt so wrong and bad and awkward. jesus. no build up at ALL, they're like family, i just. ew. no. it felt way too much like "oh we gotta pair off the leftovers" or "the main character can't end up single" well guess what, he fucking can. it was. god. i can't even explain the disgust. when he needed to heal and all she had to do was kiss him ugh. it felt so fake and empty of meaning. i would 100% prefer for it to be stiles (I'll get there) or his mom who snapped him out of it.

melissa and chris, i could get aboard with that. def cute, def weird af since his dead daughter was dating her son but, well.

stiles and lydia is a ship i have conflicting feelings about. i absolutely hate the concept of "the nerd" is in love with the popular girl since freshman year and he's borderline being a creep ("oh but it's stiles! he's a dork and he's harmless" no.), completely obsessed with her and she ignores him but then they end up getting together.. i mean, it sends a bad msg to obsessed boys about how it's worth it in the end, and it makes the whole relationship feel unbalanced from the start, makes her reciprocation feel unatural. BUT, i have to admit the show did kinda make me warm up to this ship by the end, curse them. it was kinda cute. i wish there was more mutualness before it became such an important part in 6a tho.

just gonna put it out there: malia/kira and lydia/allison. i wish we saw more girl on girl interactions in general but the ones we had were very good, great dynamics.

i won't get too much into it but i.. i don't ship st*rek. i understand why they're the biggest ship (two white hot boys that interact with each other, i mean.), and i see the couple of fan service-y moments the show throws at us but just. they don't have my heart, i don't really care about them. not the characters, the characters i absolutely love! (tho this watch i skipped most of season 1 and 2 and 3a and i think that's where derek is the most asshole.. didn't he do really bad things? idr) idk if you want a bad character on the way to redemption with someone you should ship liam and theo who had way better shippy chemistry imo, even tho their ship probably wouldn't be healthy given their dynamic history, huh.

the ship that does owns my heart? scilies. I'm a softy when it comes to best friends to lovers, and their bond and relationship is just. so. pure. don't get me wrong, i love me a good platonic relationship, but there was just one to many homoerotic interactions between them for me not to ship it, hard. (not to be that person but my guess is that if Scott was white it would have been a way bigger ship, but who knows?) i love their love, i love they would do anything for each other, and i feel like there were a bunch of very missed opportunities for them in later seasons :(

so representation. this feels like a show that is trying to be Woke TM but it's not going so well. the main character is supposedly latino but it's never ever addressed. idc about "oh we want a world without prejudice" you can still fucking address it. i mean they went to Mexico a couple of times, stiles keeps saying "Mexican cousin" i mean. god. give us something. did i mention scott was told he'd make a great "nazi youth" ..

and you don't need to be a genius to see the most characters are very white or at least very white passing. and when you don't address their non whiteness they might as well be..

i already mentioned how poorly i feel kira was treated, but also mason, who is a wonderful character, gets no depth? we know nothing about him other than being gay and smart pretty much.

i also spoke about the women already but, they were really really great women characters, but not enough of them, not enough that lasted.

there's not much to talk about disability bc it just wasn't on the show. the only blind character was healed which. /: same with epilepsy and asthma..

i think the show is probably very proud (ha) with their LGBTQ+ rep bc they're like "oh let's make this insignificant couple gay bc hey nbg". examples are lydia's grandma, La Bete and marcel, i think nolan and jiang were exes and then nolan and gabe were a thing? idr if it was explicit. the couple of girls in the tent.. probably a couple more. it's nice, def better than all random couples being straight but that's not satisfying as rep.

Danny was great. i think he and ethan were.. cute? i think he was awesome, i loved danny so much and was very excited to learn he KNOWS at the end of season 3 and was waiting to see him join the pack. instead he fucking disappeared?! wtf. #WhereDidDannyGo

brett was cute rep, especially being bi but i feel like it could go into the insignificant pool which, again, is better than nothing.

mason and corey i just don't have strong feelings about. they were definitely cute and I'm glad they were together, i love mason A Lot. i think this relationship could be explored more, or at least the characters could be explored more to give this relationship more depth.

very interesting how there's no wlw canon couple, not even hinted. just fan servicey hot malia kira dance which /:

not to mention transgenderness. god can you imagine the interesting plotline of transitioning while being a werewolf 0:

i think the rep i was most happy about was ethan and Jackson. even tho i don't think there was build up or clues in the first couple of seasons, I'm happy for the actor who i know was struggling with coming out publicly, and it was very fun and refreshing for the ending. even if we got very few scenes with them the dynamic was 10/10

the biggest problem is obviously stiles. i just don't understand why, if they're so supposedly progressive, they went to that length to queerbait without following through. the whole gag of wanting to be attractive to danny and to gay guys, the whole "aww danny want to have sex with me that's so nice", the whole "do you like guys too?". it's a gag. his alleged bisexuality is the butt of a joke, and it pisses me the fuck off. they don't have to make it a big deal or have him get a bf for it to be official. it wasn't subtle subtext. it was a CHOICE. to put a spotlight on his sexuality but not deliver. -100/10 would not recommend.

also they could talk about his mental health more.

and about Scott's, please and thank you.

and everyone's.

i had some more feelings, like villains changing sides without getting a proper redemption and having no consequences, the wholesomeness of the sherriff and mellisa being each other's kids second parent eichen house (wtf??), and more, but i think i wrote enough for now.

tl;dr- good show with A Lot of problems, will always have a place in my heart bc I'm a nostalgic gal.

[oswildin]

Frustrations ~ Dhawan!Master x Reader

Request: Oof these angsty master x reader are hitting hard 😭 can i request a funny / fluffy one? I had the idea that the master kidnaps the reader from the fam and he like handcuffs them together so the doctor can't hurt him without putting the reader at risk? And they both get more and more annoyed with each other, but the master realises he's actually beginning to reply like them? Even better if it ends with like kissing but IDK up to you obvs 😂 Thanks in advance! ☺ ( @resonate-concrete )

Warnings: Just pure crack. Honestly.

You paced around the space station, listening to the Doctor’s ranting as she did what she always does. Get distracted. The fam were watching her with amused glances as you took a look around the station, taking it all in. You were definitely in the future, that was for sure. You took a glance out one of the windows as you saw debris floating around outside. The planet you were on had a purple surface, as the deep night sky encased it. Peering back, you realised the others had disappeared, as you sighed to yourself. Every time. You mumbled annoyances as you stepped back from the window. They couldn’t have gotten far.

You began to search the base, calling out for your friends as you began to grow tired of looking. You sighed to yourself, before deciding to try calling them with your phone. As you pulled it out, you felt a hand grip round your mouth, muffling your yelps as you tried to struggle away. You instantly went into flight mode, as you kicked your leg back, hitting whoever was trying to keep ahold of you as you heard them hiss. However, their hand was still over your mouth as you narrowed your eyes, deciding to try your luck. Hey, it worked in the movies. You managed to shuffle your head slightly, in a way that their hand slipped, causing their finger to be over your mouth as you instantly bit it. Hard. The person yelled in pain as you flew forwards, falling to the floor. You gasped, as you turned around, looking up at your potential kidnapper.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” You exclaimed, seeing it was in fact the Master. He looked very angry. He was clutching his finger with his free hand as he glared down at you.

“What is wrong with you humans?” He hissed, waving his hand about as he took a step towards you, towering over you.

“You’re the one who tried to kidnap me!” You furrowed your brows.

“Doesn’t mean you had to bite me!” He growled, before kneeling down towards you, a small smirk on his lips. “Although, if that’s what you’re into.” He wiggled his brows suggestively as you pulled a disgusted face.

“In your dreams, psycho.” You spat, as his smirk fell at your words. Oh, it never fails to entertain you. Bringing down a mans ego. Alien or human. He reached into his pocket, revealing some sort of device as you looked at it in confusion.

“What’s your plan?” You asked, voice quiet as you stared into his dark eyes. He smirked once more.

“This.” Before you could flinch away, he quickly managed to place the device on your wrist as it bolted around your wrist, another part grasping around his own.

“Handcuffs?!” You exclaimed, trying to pull your wrist away from his, but he was too strong. “Wow you really are into power dynamics aren’t you?” You commented as he rolled his eyes, getting up as he yanked you with him. You hissed at the pressure on your wrist. “Right so, what now?” You asked calmly, seemingly bored of his antics already. “You better have a key for these things.” You gestured to the handcuffs.

“Like I’d tell you.” He sneered as you pulled a face at him. “You are insufferable.”

“Yup. Been told that before.” You replied, looking happy with yourself.

“Perhaps I made the wrong choice of captive.” He commented, tugging you along as you walked moodily next to him.

“My mum always said that if I got kidnapped they would return me.” You shrugged casually as he tried not to grow annoyed with your pointless rambling.

It had been ages since you had lost the others. Part of you worried they’d gotten into some trouble. Of course they had. It was the Doctor after all. You began to grow tired of walking about as you stopped, causing the Master to peer over at you, irritated.

“What now?” He huffed, exasperated.

“My feet hurt.” You whined like a child.

“Not my problem.” He gave you a tight, wicked smile as you glared at him.

“Also you owe me a new phone.” You pouted, looking down at the device in your free hand.

“I’m sure you’ll live without it for a few hours.” He rolled his eyes. God was this what it was like to have humans tag along with you? It was exhausting.

“Brand new model as well.” You muttered as he began to walk once more, pulling you along. You whined as you had to follow him, your feet begging you to stop. “So what was the plan? Handcuff yourself to me then what?”

“Well, if you’re with me, and I’m the only one who can release the handcuffs, then the Doctor wouldn’t risk putting you in harms way.” He told you as you narrowed your eyes.

“That’s a stupid plan.” You mumbled as he clenched his jaw. “I mean, come on!” You laughed. “Aren’t you meant to be like some sort of evil genius who comes up with these great big extravagant plans?” You asked, raising a brow as he gave you an amused glare.

“You try doing this for thousands of years.” He retorted as you pulled a face of ‘fair enough’.

Eventually, he let you rest, both of you sitting down on the metal floor of the station as you leant against the wall. You pursed your lips before clicking your tongue to fill the silence.

“Don’t you stop for two seconds?” He grumbled as you gave him a wide smile. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“Ugh where is she?” You whined. “How big is this place?”

“Too big. Apparently.” He dragged a hand down his face in exasperation as he was beginning to grow tired of his own plan. Was it even worth putting up with you?

“That’s what she said.” You joked to yourself, as he groaned, hitting his head on the wall behind him as you furrowed your brows. “Why are you doing that?”

“It’s distracting me from the pain you’re making me endure.” He said lowly as you rolled your eyes at him. Finally he stopped as you raised a brow.

“Better?” You asked.

“Much.” He sneered, clenching his jaw as he looked ahead. He had to admit, certain traits of yours reminded him of his last regeneration, Missy. You had that sarcasm, playfulness and didn’t seemed to be too scared.

“Okay this is impossible.” You groaned, trying hard to keep up with the Timelord. “She’s obviously got herself in some trouble. Knowing my luck they’re all dead and I’m stranded here.” You commented as he raised a brow at you.

“You’re a cheery one.” He smirked.

“If they’re dead, you’re taking me home.” You told him sternly. “It’s all your fault I didn’t find them in the first place, deciding to jump me like that, I mean, did no one ever teach you any manner-“ Before you could finish, you found yourself pinned against one of the walls, as the Master looked down at you with a tired expression.

“You are one of the most unbearable humans I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.” He sneered. “Oh your pointless ramblings, your empty words, and your god awful annoying personality.” You hissed as you looked unpaused at him. He wasn’t expecting that. It only annoyed him more.

“Sounds to me like you’ve got a crush.” You told him cheekily as he growled in frustration. Nothing phased you did it?

“Do you ever shut up? Do you always have a retort to everything?!” He exclaimed, his eyes searching your own.

“Just about, yeah.” You nodded, as you felt yourself blush being in such close proximity to the alien. You couldn’t help it. He was a bad boy. A very handsome, crazy bad boy. You swear the bad guys always look good on purpose. Before you could register what was happening, the Master had closed the gap between the two of you, crashing his lips to your own. He hated to admit it, but you were annoyingly chaotic. It was an energy he couldn’t help but be drawn to. You raised your brows in surprise as you allowed yourself to sink into the kiss.

As quickly as it had started, it ended. As you looked up at the man in confusion, before planting a smug expression on your face.

“So... The handcuffs, is that what you’re into?” You questioned, as he slowly blinked, calming his breath.

“(Y/N)!”

You both shot your head in the direction of the Doctor’s voice calling your name. You were almost disappointed she had resurfaced. No more action for you. You sighed.

“Now she finds me.” You groaned, as the Master smirked at you, before lifting your wrist up with his own as he placed a code into his handcuff, allowing it to fall off your wrists and to the floor. You looked at him confused. “What are you doing?”

“Leaving.” He told you, stepping back, before beginning to walk away.

“Hold on!” You called after him. “You can’t just leave!”

“Yes I can.” He said smugly. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon.” He gave you a small smirk. “Maybe next time I’ll bring the handcuffs again.” He winked, as you felt hot under his gaze. Before you knew it, he was gone, disappearing out of sight as you sighed, deciding it was home time.

[boredliondisorder]

ugh

I do still have regular breaks, but I’m getting through them. It’s like chronic pain. It flares up once in a while and there’s nothing I can really do but ride it out. Self-medicate, sleep a lot, etc. It’s always weird because in the middle of it, I could swear I’ve never felt worse, but then eventually I just snap the fuck out of it. One day everything seems terrible, and the next everything is fine.

I know that’s THE symptom of Depression and I know the self-harm is a symptom of BPD, but fuck I wish I knew how it worked and why.

I do still feel in some ways that I’m too late for a lot of what I wanted to do. Reading accounts from people who are a lot younger than me, and listening to their stories... It makes me realize that if I wanted to achieve the life I wanted, I needed to start when I was like... 15.

I mean I tried? As someone with BPD, getting involved with people and having friendships was impossible. I didn’t know that THEN, but the clingy behavior, the desire to be liked, the constant questioning as to whether or not everything was okay... No one knew how to handle that. My peers--those I wanted to hang out with and draw with--did not like me. And this isn’t me asking for comfort or anything... I know for a fact they didn’t like me. One mod of a game I was on sent me an in-game mail that both gave me a strike and said “thou shalt not be annoying.” It’s one of the clearest memories I have. So... Thanks, Rain.

It’s always the bad stuff I remember, too. The little snippets of "advice” that stick in my head. “Thou shalt not be annoying.” “Stop with the metaphors.” “You’re not a good person and you’re not a good friend.” “Maybe one day when you chill out we can be friends.” That’s the shit that runs through my head all the time. The sharp “fuck you” parts of messages that make your head swim and your heart drop. The real feelings disguised under layers of prose.

Point is, my life really didn’t start until I was diagnosed, and even then, it was an uphill battle to where I am now, and I’m still fucking fighting. I think I still give off a... IDK. An aura? Of having one of the “bad” mental illnesses because I am just starting to learn how to interact with people in a societally-sanctioned way.

The shitty thing is, it’s all pretend, and people see through that shit. Any time you ask a neurodivergent person to pretend to be neurotypical, people know. It’s exactly like someone acting in a movie--you may be invested and believe their role, but at the end of the day, you know they’re playing a part.

I’m not supposed to say “I wish” or “if only.” But I really do wish the earliest symptoms of BPD had been caught and treated when I was a lot younger. But with parents that worked all the time, I had no one around me to see that things were wrong.

I think I’m frustrated not because I can’t succeed, but because I don’t know how. When so much of succeeding is performing a very specific dance that I don’t have the capacity to learn, a lot of what I rely on is luck, and the hope that someone will see not me, but what I have to offer. If they can see my writing and my art and not the underlying frantic desperation, I have a chance. Unfortunately, there’s so much of me in all my art that it’s hard to completely separate myself from it.

I am tired. I’m going to try to move forward as much as I possibly can. I want something I create to matter and make an impact, and I want people to know my name. But it’s like asking a carpenter to build a luxury hotel with six planks and a screwdriver. Put yourself in that position. That’s how I feel.