#and characters making decisions that actually seem purposeful. i’m having the time of my life rn

[shorthaltsjester]

tragic that it’s only happening in what is certainly endgame episodes but bells hells really feels like a party and they’re being like. decisive and cohesive and feel like they’re actually committed to fulfilling the task they’ve agreed to take on and i am eating it up

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Know Your Place 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall, destroyer!Chris [for the purposes of this AU, I will give him the last name Jackson] (Professor AU)

Summary: after a life time of home schooling, you finally get to experience the real world in college. (petite reader)

Part of the Bad Professors AU

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. 

The noise all around has you reeling. You’re not used to so many people. So many voices and smells and sights. The frantic action of it all reminds you of a mid-00s movie about a high school. The coeds are like animals milling about in groups with the odd single body rushing between with a mission stitched between their brows. 

You sit with your thermos of tea and try to focus on your schedule. You have a campus map from the Student Support Centre next to it, trying to map out your route for each day. Momma said you should try to get ahead, figure out where you’re going. She’s always right. 

You have two classes that day. As you find the buildings on the map, planting a finger on each, you find that they are on completely different ends of the campus. Of course. Well, momma didn’t know that where they would be, did she? She said you have to balance your load; if you’re going to be an English major, make sure you take some math and science for your electives. 

You circle the two buildings and put lets beside them denoting which day you need to be there, numbering them in the order the classes occur. A burst of laughter breaks your concentration and you look around, trying to find the source. You almost miss the calm isolation of your childhood living room. 

No, you’re grown now and you begged Momma to let you go to college. Not online, but in person. You even worked all summer at the deli so you could live in a dorm. She was proud but worried. She’s never been good at letting go. She’s already called three times today and it’s not even noon. 

As the crowd blurs around you, a sudden gust blows over the table as someone sits across from you. You stare back at them with a gasp. They must’ve mistaken you for someone else. You blink as the man tugs on the front of his letterman jacket and smiles. He doesn’t seem mistaken. 

“Hey,” he leans forward on an elbow, “you waitin’ for someone? Got some cute girlfriends on their way?” 

He’s so forward, he has your brows as high as they can go and your cheeks are on fire. It’s not much of an introduction. 

“Excuse me?” You eke out. 

“Ah, I’m sorry, hon, I’m getting ahead of myself,” he smirks as he crosses both his arms on the table. “I’m Colin. You looked lonely.” 

“Oh, uh, I’m just... figuring out my schedule,” you utter dumbly. Yor brain isn’t clicking. Why is he talking to you? 

Your ears tweak and you notice a group in similar jackets, sitting just across the dining area, gabbing loudly, snickering. You wonder why he isn’t over there with them. You wiggle your pen anxiously. 

“Ah, you’re not gonna give me a name for that pretty face?” He says. 

“Huh?” Your brows drop, “what?” 

Your momma’s voice echoes in your head. ‘Be careful of those college boys. They only want one thing.’ You didn’t believe her. They don’t want that from you. You were sure once you saw the other girls in their tight leggings and short tops. 

“Your name, baby? Gotta be something sweet, huh?” 

Your face ripples as you wade through surprise, confusion, then something else. You’re almost giddy. This man, with his mussed blond hair and bright blue eyes, and his chiseled features, is asking you your name. It’s flattering. 

“Mauve,” you can’t help but smile as you answer. 

“Oh, yeah? That’s pretty, well, Mauve,” he takes out his phone, “me and my buddies are having a party tonight and we’re supposed to find a hottie to bring with us. I’m having no luck but if I show up alone, well... I might not get to stay in the frat. You get it?” 

You stare at him. You're confused. You don’t really understand frats and whatnot. They just seem like clubs people join so they can drink. 

“You wanna do me a favour? Come with me?” He asks. 

He’s bold. Bolder than any one you’ve ever met. You sputter but can’t come up with any words. 

“Please,” he pouts, “promise, I won’t try anything, I just gotta get these guys off my back.” 

He looks over his shoulder at the table of rowdy guys. You squirm in your seat, uncertain. You’ve never been to a party. Wow. 

“Here, I’ll get your number,” he taps on his phone screen, “I’ll send you the details--” 

“Leave her alone,” a grizzly voice undercuts the frat across from you. 

A thick man stands behind him. He has a cardboard cup in his hand as he glares down at the coed. His burly figure is swathed in a dark green sweater and grey slacks. He’s older and his dark curls are threaded with subtle twinkles of silver. 

“Huh? Who the hell are you?” 

“Why don’t you show her those pictures you were snapping of her? The ones you and your pals were laughing about?” The other man growls.  

You frown. What? You don’t understand what’s going on. You look from one to the other. The younger man sat across from your sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“Fuck it. Whatever. Lots of pigs to go around,” he shakes his head and stands, facing the other man. “You know, bro, just cause you’re too old to get with any ass around here, doesn’t mean you gotta ruin it for others.” 

“Get out of here,” the thicker man snarls. The other winces just slightly before puffing up his chest and stomping away. 

You remain as you are, aghast and lost. The man with the dark curls looks at you. You shrug at him. 

“I’m sorry, sir, did I do something wrong?” You ask. 

The harsh angles of his scowl ease and he lets out a long breath, “uh, no, not you. That boy, you know, any one that wears one of those jackets, they’re no good. Just some advice.” 

“Oh, right,” you look over at that guy, Colin, “sorry, I didn’t know. He just started talking to me. I was being polite.” 

“Seem like a nice girl. Just tryna look out for you.” 

“Yeah, thanks,” you chew your lip and sniff. “Are you... are you teacher?” 

“I’m a professor,” he confirms as he holds his cup close to his chest. He's one of the biggest men you’ve ever seen. And his eyes are as blue as the ocean. “Professor Marshall but unless you’re a psych student, you can call me Walter.” 

“Walter? My neighbour is Walter. At home. He’s eighty-one and he collects baseball cards,” you let yourself smile. You always felt more comfortable around older people. You never had many friends your own age. 

“Don’t mind some baseball myself,” he dips his chin. “Well, you look out for yourself and avoid the Greeks.” 

“Greeks?” You make a face. 

“Fraternities,” he says. “And sororities, if you can help it.” 

“Oh, okay. Thank you, sir,” you feel a little better. You think he’s right and he is a professor. He would know. “I’ll do that.” 

“Sir? It’s Walter,” he corrects you. 

“Oh, sorry, Walter,” you smile. “I’m Mauve.” 

He nods and shifts his cup, “Mauve,” he repeats, “well, nice to meet you.” 

“You too, sir, er, Walter. Thank you,” you say. 

He hesitates then steps back on his heel, “yeah, no problem.” 

He slowly retreats and you watch him, your heart playing like a drum. You did it. You spoke to strangers and you didn’t melt. Things are getting easier. If you could get through that, you’re sure you’ll make lots of friends in your classes. 

[robinofgothamcity]

“You’re going to be a great experiment, one that I never want to stop working on.”

Character: Jonathan Crane / DC

Authors note: please read my reintroduction post <3 it would mean a lot, especially if you’re an older follower and if you’re a newer follower, that would be just as great because you’ll get a sense the reintroduction to my page! / anwayyy, god I’m such a whore for Jonathan Crane it’s ridiculous. Also, let me know if you’re interested in a second part to this? It seems like it could use one but idk, it really depends on how much you guys would like this part first.

Possible warnings: do want to add a warning for drug mentions and use of drug!

Being the newer doctor down at Arkham felt like you were the new kid that moved into a new school in the middle of the year. It was terrifying, a bit overwhelming considering the patients, and not to mention, your colleagues never spoke to anyone unless it was for work purposes. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was like this because of the environment you were in but even your time when working with prisoners for Arkham wasn’t as stuffy.

The only reason you decided to switch departments was because of the pay raise. You didn’t know that working with such uppity coworkers was going to be for you. You wanted to at lease make a few new friends in the department but you knew that was less than possible considering no one ever chased a conversation like you had hoped they would.

You opened the door, decided now would be the best time to take you lunch. You weren’t expecting any clients for the next hour and you figured you’d get a meal in before your next one arrived.

Just as you were about to close the door, you noticed Dr.Crane approaching you.

“Morning Dr.Crane! How’s your morning!” You asked cheerfully. He stepped inside your office, not responding to your question, “I’m hearing from one of my colleagues over at the forensics department that you’re staying late tonight?”

“Ah, yeah! I’m getting a few more clients soon and I haven’t gotten some spare time to look over their files so I figured it’d be better to just stay a bit late tonight so I can be ready for them next week,” you replied. Jonathan sighed, “do not overwork yourself, it does nothing but cause a stress in your life.”

You found it a bit strange that Jonathan was suddenly caring about your decisions to stay late considering this was one of the first times that Jonathan had ever approached you for something that wasn’t work related. You knew that Jonathan wasn’t one of the most approachable ones based on the fact that most of your colleagues had warned about how strange Jonathan was. They had all mentioned that if it wasn’t for the fact that Jonathan was one of the more tenured workers, Arkham would have fired him by now.

“Oh, okay,” you replied cautiously, “I appreciate the advice?” You responded.

Jonathan didn’t respond as he looked at the files of your newest clients, “I wouldn’t worry too much on these clients. Bipolar disorder, clinical depression, and anxiety patients tend to be one of the more easier clients especially when dealing with the population in Gotham,” he said as he flipped through the files. You gave him a smile, “oh I know, when dealing with Arkham prisoners, my biggest issue was murderers and I don’t know why they kept giving me them considering I made it very clear that I didn’t want to deal with them.”

“Is that why you left and switched to the psychology department?” He asked. You thought for a moment, “not really. I actually got offered a higher paying position in this department. I originally applied to just be a prison psychologist but I figured dealing with the regular population instead of notorious gangsters would cause less stress.”

Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle at your response, “there is no regular population in Gotham.” This time, you couldn’t help but laugh at him, “unless you’ve worked with the ruthless gangsters and murderers that Gotham has produced, I can beg to differ,” you said as you noticed Jonathan finally stepping out. You really didn’t know what it was that he really wanted but considering this was the first time you’ve actually had a conversation that wasn’t exactly work related, you’d take it.

-

You looked over to the clock realizing that it read eight in the evening. You quickly realized that most of your coworkers were now gone and it must’ve been you and a few of a the janitors.

You put all of your things into a bag, hoping that you’d just get something quick to eat and make it home.

Once you approached the front doors, you noticed that Jonathan was at his desk writing a few things down. You gave him a small wave and made your way to the door to leave but as you were about to reach your car, you noticed Jonathan approaching you again.

“A few of my friends and I are catching a rather late dinner tonight, would you be interested in coming along with me?” You blinked at him in disbelief. This past afternoon was the first time you’ve actually had spoken to him in a friendly manner and now he was asking you to catch dinner? “Um, depends? I don’t really know anyone here and the few friends that work at Arkham I don’t think would know anyone in our department.”

“If I remember correctly, your close friends with Edward Nashton in forensics?” You gave him another look in disbelief, wondering how the hell he knew him, “he was the one that gave me a headd up about your application for the psychology department. We’ve been friends for a rather long time if you were wondering.

You were going to grab Eddie by the neck for not telling you that he was friends with Jonathan.

“I mean, that doesn’t sound too bad. Where were you guys thinking of having dinner?” Jonathan fixed his glasses as he looked down to his phone, “there’s this really nice diner downtown that Eddie and I frequent from time to time. How about you just follow me and we can walk there,” he responded.

You agreed, not really having another choice so you quickly put your things into your car and met with Jonathan.

“So, has anyone been giving you a hard time? I know some of our colleagues can be a bit odd especially with newer staff,” you shook your head no, “for the most part, no problems at all. I just wish everyone was more friendlier. Back when I was the psychiatrist for Arkham with the prisoners, all of the staff was very friendly and easy to conversational with but now it seems like everyone just hates it there and cannot keep a conversation to save their lives.”

Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Ah, so you have noticed the strange way of our coworkers to which I am not surprised by at all,” Jonathan replied. You clapped happily in agreement, “like I know I’m very talkative but it looks like it almost hurts them to speak unless it’s about work. I guess in a way that isn’t a bad thing considering that means there isn’t any workplace drama but I do miss having a friend to speak too.”

As the two of you approached the diner, you noticed that Eddie already had a table set for you.

“You moron, how come you didn’t tell me you knew Dr.Crane,” you said as you smacked him on the back of the head. Eddie looked to Jonathan and laughed, “well, you didn’t exactly ask. I just figured you’d end up becoming his friend anyway.”

You gave him one final look of disbelief before looking to the waiter. He looked no older than 22 and seemed like he wanted nothing more than to just leave the damn diner, “I’ll take your soup of the day if that isn’t too much,” he nodded as he slid you your water. As you went to grab a complimentary packet of crackers, you failed to see the look on Jonathan’s face as he looked at the waiter who was very much checking you out.

“Would you guys mind watching my bag? I need to run to the bathroom,” Edward nodded as he put it on the chair next to him. As soon as you were out of hearing range, Jonathan gave him a smirk, “I do like her so be nice with her,” Edward stated as Jonathan agreed, “she might be a little airy in the head but she seems like a good candidate for my newest drug.”

Edward shook his head.

“She’s very smart i do have to say. She graduated from Gotham with honors but I think she just likes to talk and be friendly with everyone. What is it with her and the drug you want to test out?” He asked. Jonathan held the small vile of liquid in his hand as he dropped it entirely into your water, “that is for you to find out Edward. She is in safe hands, I can promise you that but I just need to make sure that your friend here is a permanent yet perfect candidate for this experiment.”

Edward hummed in response as he slid the file that was in his bag over to Jonathan. It contained all of your personal information that you thought would only confidential to Arkham. It included your address, prior education history, former employers, and your tags for any social media you had. Edward and Jonathan had been conjuring up this little plan for over a year and while you were almost entirely clueless about it, they knew it wouldn’t take you long to realize it which is why Jonathan created the drug he spilled into your water to make you almost entirely oblivious to it.

“I can sense that my duty here is done?” Edward asked as he stood up from the table, “I’ll make sure to send her a message on my abrupt disappearance,” Edward added on as he quickly left the diner.

You walked out of the bathroom with your blazer now on your arm and your shirt being a bit more unbuttoned. Jonathan couldn’t help but laugh. The drug he had placed on the files, which he knew you were going to inevitably touch, was already making you more comfortable around him and he knew if you drank from the water, it would just give him a bigger advantage when it came to his endgame with his experiment.

Jonathan knew that finding love in the most conventional way was not in his ballpark. Jonathan wanted a woman with intelligence, someone he could speak to without feeling like he was talking to a brick wall and although there were plenty of women in Arkham who could fill that role, he knew that his plans as Scarecrow would turn all of them away and even get him in the hands of GCPD. Jonathan clearly did not want that but he also knew that he wanted someone who could rule beside him as a lover and as a second hand ‘assistant’ when it came to dealing with him as scarecrow as well as giving The Riddler and The Mad Hatter a hand when they needed it.

“Did Edward run to the bathroom as well?” You asked taking a drink of the water, “oh, Arkham had an emergency in the forensics department and he had to leave. He hoped that you wouldn’t mind,” Jonathan explained.

You shook your head nonchalantly, “no issue at all! But hey, isn’t it crazy that we were just coworkers not even a few hours ago and we’re now getting dinner?” You mentioned. Jonathan laugh, “crazy indeed. It looks like your dinner is here!” He replied as he picked at his own plate, not really in the mood to have dinner. He was more interested in seeing how long the drug would take to enter your system.

The two of you continued to talk over dinner, a casual conversation flowed between the two of you as you had no idea in the world that Jonathan now had his entire plan in motion. The more the two of you talked, the more you got closer. It started with you leaning over to him everything time he spoke and the way you were now, it was very clear his drug didn’t need a boost considering you were almost on the man.

Your shirt was down to the middle buttons and you were crossing your legs tightly.

“I do have a bottle of fine at my place if you want to continue the conversation there! I figure the diner might close soon but if you don’t feel comfortable with that, I’ll see you at work on Monday?” You asked. Jonathan grabbed your blazer along with your bag and held it on his arm, “lead the way to your apartment,” he said.

You instantly got up, making sure to leave a tip at the table for the waiter and took the lead for a second before you grabbed Jonathan’s arms and pushed him against the wall, “I know this is very straight forward but I just can’t continue to deny the fact that you are very attractive right now,” you whispered as you smashed your lips against his.

Bingo.

Jonathan ran his hands down your thigh as you jumped onto him. You wrapped your legs around his waist as you pushed your chest against his. Jonathan started to chuckle as felt you trying to unbutton his pants.

“I can’t help but agree with you,” Jonathan whispered in your ear as he started to play with the hem of your panties, “now how about we make it to your car and we can continue this session in your bedroom,” he continued. You agreed as you jumped off of him and practically dragged him over to your car.

Jonathan just needed to make sure he sent a thank you message over to Edward before the end of the night. His little experiment was now in his hands and he didn’t need to struggle much to achieve it.

[mediacircuspod]

“The Magic Trick You Didn’t See” is an essay written by an author who is on Tumblr, user ariaste. I think it’s a very well put together argument for “The Book of Life Theory” that has merit. However, I think there might be too much editing going on. I will explain.

I want to start this by being completely honest. I’m not sold on any theories because in the past I was so incredibly wrong about countless theories on Game of Thrones that made complete sense, I swear. But also were me just making up reasons for how the story could go my way. I’m actually really into the concept of “wait and see” because it places me firmly in the seat of “audience” or “consumer” and those are, in my opinion, the best seats in the house. 

So I’m not really a subscriber to the coffee theory or the book of life theory or the body switch theory, NOT because I don’t think they’re true or smart or have merit, but because I would genuinely like to “wait and see”. Even if that wait is until 2027. I waited this long for season 2, I’m not afraid of a few years for a good story.

Anyway, go read the very long, but very intelligent google doc, because even if you’re not sure about the theory, it has some REALLY cool meta, and some interesting easter eggs that you might have missed upon viewing the season the first go around, the very long document is HERE.

Alright here’s some highlights. Basically the essay is about how The Metatron could be pulling strings on Season Two with the help of “The Book of Life” for a number of reasons. Corresponding evidence being the lack of God’s narration, Maggie as a character, Eccles Cakes, and a whole lot of meticulous details. I really, really love the format of the essay too, but that’s just me being a nerd about magic tricks and “The Prestige” as a concept and as a movie. 

Where I diverge on this theory is simply how liberally it is applied, as well as the use of “bad” to describe certain ways of writing. And this is where my hot take kind of lies; I don’t think Good Omens 2 was bad. On purpose or by accident. I’m not saying my opinion is right, I’m just stating that that is where my perspective comes from. Now. Let’s get into why I like this essay. 

It’s so cool. And detailed. And smart. I love reading things that connect dots and describe a persons critical thought process, and wow, this essay is incredible at doing all of that. The sheer amount of information I learned from taking the time to read it gave me a lot of insight about the things I missed on my watch of the season. I found I was a lot more distracted by the Austen-esque pacing than the author of the essay who noticed things like disappearing eccles cakes, how no one else’s power went out during Crowley’s lightning storm and a load of other things. But also, being “along for the ride” made me kind of protective of the story being told. Because Season 2 isn’t the beginning, middle, and end of a story, like season 1 was. It is the “quiet, gentle, and romantic” middle of a plot sandwhich.

In any case, the essay poses quite a few things. The only major issue I have is the idea that The Book of Life can alter will, and not just situation. I don’t think Crowley or Aziraphale are changed by the Book of Life. Their actions seem distinctly them throughout the entire season, which is exactly why the season needed to end on the note it did. Obviously from a story point, we need Aziraphale to go to heaven for what I imagine is the conflict of season 3; The Second Coming. But from an internal perspective, Aziraphale’s character demanded to make that decision. It wasn’t out of character, it was distinctly in character. And yes, he could have been influenced, or manipulated, or hiding something, but he’s been affected by all of those ideas for the entirety of his existence anyway. He’s had 6000 years of The Heavenly Host manipulating him, and he’s had exactly 4 years of being on his own side(openly) with Crowley. He’s going to still be susceptible to their tactics, especially if they say exactly what he’s been wanting to hear for his whole existence. “We were wrong, and you were right.” Metatron really pulled out every stop of the proper apology except for the little dance. We were wrong about you, We were wrong about how to run things, We were wrong about Crowley. You can come back and you can bring him and you can fix everything. Crowley refusing isn’t heaven’s fault, they still offered. It’s Crowley who rejected Aziraphale. (For good reason, but that’s not what this meta is about.) I made a post about Crowley and his relationship to forgiveness HERE, if you were interested.

So maybe things were changed by the book of life, the analysis on the opening credits is amazing, like great job. But I don’t know if they were. But that’s literally just me holding onto the plot of season 2 and shouting from the top of my lungs, “ITS ACTUALLY GOOD THOUGH BECAUSE I LIKE IT AND WHAT IT SETS UP” And who knows, we might be all wrong and what actually happened is that the whole thing was a very detailed dream that Aziraphale wrote down in one of his journals.

[lurkingshan]

While I think apologies should have been given to Boston (especially for the accusations) and his character was overall overlooked, I don’t think the show slut shamed him. Boston was accepted by his friends, even if they made light jokes about his sex life and Mew’s lack of one at the beginning, until he slept with his friend’s partner. This is one of the places I think the writing dropped the ball, because they could have made a sexual character who had their own drama without being a bad friend. And yes, everyone was a bad friend at some point, I’m just relating this specific topic to slut shaming the character. Him being left alone by his ‘friends’ at the end was not because he was slutty but because he was a shitty friend - once again, I blame the writing but he was the major catalyst for a lot of the drama. On the other hand, Nick and Boston could not have ended up together without one of them changing something significant about themselves, which would have been worse in my opinion. It’s okay to not want a monogamous relationship, and it’s also okay to want one. He wasn’t supposed to change himself for Nick and Nick wasn’t supposed to accept what he saw as crumbs and call it love. I don’t think the disapproval by his ‘friends’ had anything to do with his sex life nor do I think Nick actually disapproved of him it all, so much as he had to move on.

All that being said, I have only related this comment to the character being slut shamed. Overall, I think they simply used Boston for the purpose of plot and didn’t flesh him out the way they should have. Top was also initially a slutty character but was given the time to be likable (I still don’t like him but by the end of the show I didn’t like anyone so I digress). I don’t feel I know Boston’s motivations for anything, and if he was just supposed to be a “natural villain”, why would they make him so upset by his loneliness? It seems like everyone in the show did stupid shit for the sake of drama but they didn’t care enough about his character to let us know why or give him a full resolution. In fact, the only characters that truly got the time necessary to tell their story were the two main couples, and they just mentioned Boston in the process to close out his plot. He could have been a sexual character, who stayed a sexual character, made a bad decision, worked on the source of his behavior, and made up with his friends or found friends who understood him better, but the show didn’t care enough to do so. So instead, we look at it as the show saying “be a slut, and you’ll end up alone” when really I think it’s saying “don’t like monogamy? Don’t be in a monogamous relationship and don’t be an asshole to your friends (when we don’t have time or energy to give you backstory and depth)”

I still overall like the show because I don’t think it was meant to be truly realistic and more so just dramatic. None of the people should have been friends by the end of it tbh, but the performance were incredible and the characters who did have backstory were captivating.

Hello! There is a lot to unpack here so let me break this down a bit.

Boston was accepted by his friends, even if they made light jokes about his sex life and Mew’s lack of one at the beginning, until he slept with his friend’s partner.

I don't actually agree with this. We have been shown from the start and throughout the show that Boston's friends--Cheum and Mew especially--judge him for his promiscuity and look down on him for it. That is super consistent all the way through the finale. Tolerating his presence is not the same thing as actually accepting/respecting him.

And yes, everyone was a bad friend at some point, I’m just relating this specific topic to slut shaming the character.

See, but this is a key point. If everyone was a bad friend, why were only Boston's friend crimes treated seriously, and why is he the only one who owed apologies? The difference is that Boston is a slut and his friends were already treating him as inherently less worthy of compassion and ready to judge him for literally anything. You can't separate the two things, Boston is treated the way he is both because he's a slut and because he's a shitty friend.

Him being left alone by his ‘friends’ at the end was not because he was slutty but because he was a shitty friend - once again, I blame the writing but he was the major catalyst for a lot of the drama.

Just going to point out here that he is the only one who apologized and took accountability for his mistakes, while his friends did not offer him apologies for any of their own rather significant wrongs against him. So who is actually the shitty friend here?

On the other hand, Nick and Boston could not have ended up together without one of them changing something significant about themselves

I don't agree with this, either. In the conversations in today's episode it was clear that Boston and Nick were not on the same page about what being faens meant. Boston was committed to Nick as his faen and to him that meant Nick is the only one he loves, the only one he goes on dates with, the only one he spends quality time with. It did not mean no sexual contact with others, to him. For Nick, being faens does mean they would only kiss and have sex with each other. They needed to get clear on that, and I really loved that conversation in part 2 where they discussed it. Previous to this episode, it wasn't clear to me that sexual fidelity was a requirement for Nick; in fact, he told Boston he didn't need him to change, and the end of the last episode implied that what he really needed was to know Boston cared about him and viewed him as special. We left things ambigous wrt to his relationship with Dan and whether he even wanted to be faens with Boston. And now this week we suddenly had them dating and Dan disappeared into the ether (a weird choice given they intentionally did not resolve these things last episode).

Now all that said, it's totally valid for Nick to decide that he needs sexual exclusivity. He might have thought he could roll with it if Boston stayed the same in this regard and then realized he really couldn't when confronted with the reality of it. That's all fine and fair. But I don't think it's impossible that Nick could have been okay with Boston continuing to hook up with others within some negotiated parameters. They could have found a way to make this work, especially because they both know it's only temporary. The show just wasn’t interested in exploring that.

I don’t feel I know Boston’s motivations for anything, and if he was just supposed to be a “natural villain”, why would they make him so upset by his loneliness?

This is an interesting point because up until the end of this finale, I would argue we actually did have a really strong sense of who Boston is, and so did he. He was always unapologetic about his preferences and honest about what he was willing to give. He is very perceptive and knows how to use that power for evil. He is motivated by what he wants and not much else. He doesn't see sex as such a big deal and is often taken aback when others do and it causes them to get what he perceives as unreasonably mad at him. He thinks people should be wiling to own up to their shit and not blame him for observing it. He usually thinks as long as everything turned out okay, whether or not the way he got there was "mean" shouldn't really matter. He is willing to apologize for specific actions when he knows he was being an ass, but he has never apologized for who he is or what he wants.

And that's why it was really hard to see him reduced to groveling to this group of "friends" who don't care about him and begging Nick not to leave him at the end of this episode. It didn't feel like the Boston we have known up until now, and it didn't ring true.

In fact, the only characters that truly got the time necessary to tell their story were the two main couples, and they just mentioned Boston in the process to close out his plot.

I do agree with this; Nick and Boston did not get enough time in the final stretch and thus there were some noticeable shortcuts in the writing for their arc. That said, even though they got a lot more screen time I don't think TopMew and SandRay turned out much better for it. Things just felt off all around in this final stretch.

So instead, we look at it as the show saying “be a slut, and you’ll end up alone” when really I think it’s saying “don’t like monogamy? Don’t be in a monogamous relationship and don’t be an asshole to your friends (when we don’t have time or energy to give you backstory and depth)”

Nah, for me the only character that doesn't want monogamy ending up rejected and alone while all the people who chose monogamy get very unearned happy endings is not at all subtle. If they wanted to show that love is not conditional on monogamy, they could have let Boston and Nick end on a better note, even if they didn't stay together. This finale felt like an advertisement for monogamous love as a cure to all your problems. And I have no idea if that was the actual intent and neither does anyone but the creators themselves. But intent is not impact and the implications of the way they wrote this are undeniable.

None of the people should have been friends by the end of it tbh, but the performance were incredible and the characters who did have backstory were captivating

Agree with you there! The reason some of us are so disappointed in the ending is because we liked the show so much and have been giving it the benefit of the doubt in how it was presenting its themes. It's a bummer to end this three month journey on a sour note.

[thefirstimagifabricator]

ngl anyone claiming to be an aot fan who’s also a Zionist has got to have media literacy skills in the negatives bc,,,,,y’all what 😭

if you, the person reading this, are one such person, I’m begging you to please just read my aot analysis in this post at least. Please.

I just rambled out a thread of posts on twt analyzing Attack on Titan in relation to current events, i.e. rebuking Zionism and condemning Israel’s genocide in Palestine, and I’d like to share it here too

I’ll both copy and paste and format it into proper paragraphs and wtv and also attach screenshots of my original tweets, and maybe link the twt post bc why not—anyway here:

if l ever see an aot fan who's a Zionist I gotta assume they've got zero—no, negative honestly—media literacy skills 💀 bc if you watch aot and still hold views like Zionism then like. like buddy did you even really watch the show,,,,,,

thinking abt this bc I’m listening to the aot osts for the first time in a while and aot is just. such a goddamn well-written and sociopolitically-accurate show...and like. you CANNOT watch it and NOT draw the parallels yk???

yes the treatment of Eldians is written to parallel Jews in the Holocaust—and imo that makes this even more relevant today with the genocide Israel is executing in Palestine, bc of two things:

1) if you stand with Eren and Mikasa and Armin, our main trio, then you stand with their decision to fight back against the Marleyans, and to try to be truly free and not just confined to Paradis, and you understand how they’ve come to their decision to invade Marley and try to take down the main force which keeps them imprisoned on the island of Paradis

2) if you're against Eren’s decision to annihilate the entire world so that no one could threaten Eldians again, then you understand proportionality and how perceived vengeance and preemptive ‘defense’ can easily flip dynamics of oppression on their heads. (I know that Eren's plan was actually to have his friends be portrayed to the world as heroes and people to stop discriminating against Eldians as a result, and he never intended to actually fully wipe out the world population, BUT we don't know that until the end and neither do any of the other characters—their decision to fight against and take down Eren was based in their realizing that he was taking things too far and that what he was doing was unjust and that he needed to be stopped)

Do you see where I'm going with this?? People who stand by Zeke's decision are the ones who would say that Palestinians should just lie down and die quietly. There is a reason why Zeke did not get his way in aot!! One cannot ask for innocents to take suffering quietly just for the preservation of the “peace” of the lives of those whom are inflicting such suffering on them. A life in supposed peace built on ongoing pain inflicted on others is an inherently violent life, even if from the inside it does not seem to be so.

Zeke conceived of his plan as a product of the guilt drilled into him by Marleyan propaganda, guilt for just existing as an Eldian person. He may have pushed his plan as the most peaceful option available, but it's really just as violent, just in a quieter fashion; if you actually think about it, it's basically eugenics 💀 sterilizing an entire population without their consent, for the purpose of their dying out and leaving the rest of humanity (supposedly) better off??? literally eugenics thought process 🙃

to that one irl idk-if-I-can-consider-you-a-friend-anymore, if you for wtv reason come stalk my tumblr and see this post, yes I did think of you while writing this. I must say I’m terribly disappointed in you; I hope you’ll come around sometime, preferably before we as a society reach a point of irredeemable, irremediable regret, but as I’d presume you’ve figured out already, I’m done putting energy into trying to pull your mind out of the propaganda cesspit.

screenshots of and link to original twt post under cut:

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Holiday Hijinx, Fluff Edition

Merry Christmas!

@thesere1418, let me try to answer your actual question: how does Team Treasure spend Christmas?

Last time, I posited some theories on what the gang’s pre-treasure hunt Christmases looked like. The short version: lonely and isolated to varying degrees. Sometimes of the “sitting home alone” variety, and sometimes more “alone in a crowd.”

This time, we’ll look at how Team Treasure might spend Christmas after the events of National Treasure bring them all together. Fluff will ensue! But since I’m a hopeless pedant, I’m going to make you work for it.

Let’s begin with the timeline. Way back in the very first issues of this blog (insert nostalgic awww), we took a deep dive into the timeline of National Treasure, both how long the events of the movie take place and when they take place. If we’re looking at the first Christmas after the movie, the timeline piece will become very important.

As I wrote there:

The 70th Anniversary of the National Archives really was in 2004. The organization was founded on June 19th, 1934. June 19th 2004 was a Saturday, so it’s conceivable that the Gala was meant to be that weekend. However, based on all the characters’ clothing, I’ve always felt like National Treasure was a fall movie. … It’s already dark when Ben arrives. Sunset on June 18th, 2004 was at 8:36pm in Washington DC, so that gets us to potentially 9-11. However, that seems like a late start, especially considering this gala’s attendees are probably mainly older, wealthy donors. In September, sunset would have been closer to 7pm. I still think it’s fall. All we know for certain is that the story had to take place before October 31, as that was the last day of daylight savings time in 2004.

Based on the National Archives fact, the movie should theoretically take place in June. However, this is not how you dress in Washington D.C, Philadelphia, or New York in the summer.

[Outfit snips]

This could be explained by the fact the the movie actually filmed in September 2003 - February 2004. And they’re dressed like it. It’s impossible (for me anyway) to watch the movie and believe it’s anything but fall.

In my heart, National Treasure is a November movie. However, we know that doesn’t fit canonically either since the story had to take place before the end of Daylight Savings Time, October 31, 2004.

So let’s say it’s mid-October.

That means the first post-treasure hunt Christmas is only two months and change later.

As I posit in…an article I haven’t published yet, oops, I don’t think Ben and Abigail got together immediately after the treasure hunt. I think Abigail is too pragmatic to make a major decision like that on the heels of having her whole life turned upside down by the treasure hunt, and I think Ben has been burned before by women who found his whole Indiana Jones schtick charming, until it wasn’t.

Also, what season is the “Three months later” epilogue supposed to be? September? For our purposes a unseasonably mild January day, I guess.

Team Treasure’s First Christmas

The reason I am dwelling on this, other than because it delays the creative work of imagining things that didn’t happen on screen, which I am inevitably procrastinating, is because deciding when the treasure hunt took place really colors how Team Treasure spends their first Christmas together.

If the treasure hunt happened in June, then things have had time to settle down by December. Ben and Abigail are new but reasonably well established couple, Ben is settled into his massive new house, and the logistics of dealing with the treasure are well enough under control that everyone can take a breather.

If the treasure hunt happens in October, none of these things are the case. Sorting out who is working on the treasure, what pieces are going where, security, research, transportation, sale donation, etc. etc. is still a full-time nightmare headache. Ben and Abigail are toying with the idea of actually dating but haven’t taken the plunge. Ben bought his big stupid house but it’s 80% empty rooms and 20% cardboard boxes.

So.

Riley and Abigail still go home for the holidays, but although the basic sequence of events is the same as it always has been, the feel is very different. Abigail is no longer just the reserved, quiet, nerdy aunt. Riley is no longer the burnout computer geek uncle. They’re treasure hunters. They’re famous, at least for this moment in time. Everyone is either tiptoeing around them or running up to ask a bunch of questions.

For Riley: “Were you scared?” “How many crimes did you commit?” “Did you really fool the FBI?” “How did you break into the National Archives?” “What does the Declaration of Independence feel like?” “Does this mean you’ll get a better job now?” “Will IBM take an almost-felon back?” “What are your plans moving forward?” “You know, that Gates fellow isn’t going to need you any more.” “Have you thought about a history degree?”

For Abigail: “That treasure hunter’s pretty handsome. Hint hint, googly eyes.” “How did you meet?” “Is he as charming as he looks on TV?” (Oh my god mom.) “You’re sure you’re not in trouble at work?” “You worked so hard to get where you are. I’d hate to see you throw it away on some crackpot. Even if he’s rich now.” “Does the Archives give medals? You should get one.”

It’s a lot, but they get through it. They both know that this is a one-time thing. The Templar Treasure won’t be the hot news story next year.

As for the Gates boys, Ben is finally the center of attention at his mother’s Christmas party in a good way. For the first time he can arrive with his head held high. The academics spend all night asking him detailed questions about the treasure and the search, how he knew where to look for Charlotte, what he’s learned about the contents of the cavern so far. The attention and interest feels good, but nothing feels better than his mother’s proud smile saying, That’s my boy.

And on Christmas day, Ben and Patrick have dinner together. It’s stilted and awkward at first, especially since it’s just the two of them. There’s no one else to serve as a buffer, and their years of estrangement hang over the afternoon like inescapable clouds. “Oh, you play poker?” “Been in the same Thursday night poker group for fifteen years.” Silence.

But then the topic switches to John, and early Christmases the three of them spent together. “Grandpa and I spent a day driving all over D.C. looking for the perfect ship in a bottle. I think we visited twelve different antique dealers that day. That was my first treasure hunt, I guess.” “I still have it. It’s right here.” “I always thought you hated it. I know you and he didn’t see eye to eye about the treasure.” “We didn’t. But it was from you, so it was always special to me.”

It’s ends up being a pleasant evening of reminiscing, and an important step as Ben and Patrick start to rebuild their relationship.

Subsequent Christmases

And finally, your actual question!

By the next year, everything is much more settled. Ben, and now possibly Abigail as well, actually live in the giant house. It’s filled with books and antique furniture and maps to possible future treasures. It’s lived-in and it’s theirs. They’re an established couple at this point, and the treasure situation is much more under control. And it would be insane of them not to throw a Christmas party in that massive, massive house.

The house is decked out with vintage Christmas decorations and a fifteen foot tree. In the style of the 18th century, the main fireplace is decorated with fruit and greens. There’s catering and a hundred guests and a band (perhaps that same string quartet from the gala?). This first year especially, they really go all out.

But their actual Christmas Eve and Christmas day celebrations are much more intimate. Abigail makes a selection of German Christmas cookies and she and Ben and Riley decorate a second, smaller tree on Christmas Eve. Riley brings kugel and rugelach from his favorite deli and tells them about some of his favorite family traditions. Patrick stops by for a while and they sip nice wine or nicer scotch around the fire while reminiscing about the insane last year that brought them together. The treasure hunt but also the excavation of the treasure and their travels around the world to all the exhibit openings.

Ben and Abigail dance to slow jazz in the firelight. Patrick beats Riley at chess, repeatedly.

They exchange gifts, but what do you get new multi-millionaires who just found a history-redefining treasure?

Gifts

Ben gives Riley an early prototype of Hedy Lamarr’s frequency hopping radio that would become the basis for wifi and GPS technology. He gives Abigail letter written by George Washington that he once found in an old house in Virginia. And he gives Patrick a framed photo of himself, Patrick, and John. In all the hubbub about the treasure someone had tracked down old family photos of theirs.

Riley gives Ben a framed blueprint of the National Archives overlaid with the exact route he took to steal the Declaration. There’s a small note at the bottom that says “Security has since been upgraded.” He gives Abigail a computer program that can sort her email much more accurately that any built-in program in 2004 could. (He’s been working with the National Archives to bolster their digital security.) For Patrick, he’s not really sure what to get, but when Ben suggests a nice bottle of scotch, Riley takes it a step farther and gets a custom blend made and labeled “Trinity Church Staircase (contains no actual 200 year old wood).”

Abigail gives Riley a book of American history written in an fun, narrative style—picture Drunk History in book form—and a state of the art remote control drone. She gives Patrick an set of antique letters from a period she knows is of interest to him. And for Ben, she puts together a scrapbook off newspaper coverage of the treasure from all over the world. She puts out a call to the archivists community, in addition to the papers and magazines she’s been collecting as they travel.

Patrick gives Riley a computer programing manual from the 1940s, one of the earliest in the world, and a two books on conspiracy theories, one from the 1870s and one from the 1970s. He gives Abigail antique records of her favorite composer, and brings an album of baby pictures of Ben to show her. And for Ben, he gives him the Gates family scrapbook, which Patrick has taken and updated with pictures of Ben and the treasure.

The Gang’s Christmas Superpowers

As for special holiday skills,

Ben is a master gift finder. He doesn’t give gifts too often (he’s pretty oblivious to the whole thing) but when he does, he finds the perfect item. It’s never something off the shelves, it’s the same antique china pattern your grandparents had when you were a kid, or a vintage book on your favorite topic.

Abigail is the perfect gift wrapper. Her fastidious nature, steady hands, and decade of training to handle delicate paper items make her excellent at it, no matter the shape or size. Perfect corners every time, paired with the perfect ribbon and bow.

Riley doesn’t love Christmas music, but if he has to hear it, he wants to hear what he tolerates, so he’s created a database of all the best Christmas music ranked by decade, vibe, and his personal taste. He can whip up the perfect playlist for any occasion in seconds.

Patrick can tell you a historical Christmas event from any year between 1717 and 1990. Choose any year and he’ll have an anecdote about the news of the time, anything from small town goings on to world-changing battles and decisions.

Conclusion

There you go! A Team Treasure Christmas!

Whohoo! I did it! I got the article out on time!

Hope you’re all having a nice holiday out there if you celebrate.

[birdstooth]

In your universe, is Christine dating both Raoul and Erik or is she trying to enjoy her single life and keeps getting wrapped up into the boys’ nonsense (sometimes on purpose)

Me vamping for 30 sec bc I never actually thought about this….😳😬

I (and my extension, my universe) am just a humble servant and vessel for the bit, so the reality of the situation depends on whatever leads to the most humorous outcome 🫠

(Edit to add a cut bc I didn’t realize how long this got)

So for real tho I think she started out just wanting to live her best life but got sucked into the opera drama and the gravitational pull of these 2 idiots and she’s too sentimental and kind to cut ties plus they are both endearing in their own ways haha.

Uh but I guess Christine and Raoul are in a courtship or whatever (not quite going steady, but they would have taken down their respective tinder profiles) and Erik is in Schrödinger’s friendzone lmao like Christine is aware of his feelings but her sentiments range from exasperation, to fondness, to exasperated fondness to ????

She doesn’t want to abandon him bc he can be so uwu 🥺🥺🥺 so she’s like, “well the best thing for everyone would be for me to help my dear ‘friend’ Erik become a better person”!!

And conveniently this situation allows her to keep him in her life and spend a lot of time helping him be “good” without having to make an official decision about their relationship status.

(Although she doesn’t really seem to have a clear lesson plan… like, will teaching him how to do income taxes really improve his moral character or is it just an excuse to sit together on the couch for extended periods of time looking at “financial documents” that he probably forged anyway??? 🤔🤔🤔)

Irl I’m the person with the “I side-eyed Raoul BEFORE LND!!” bumper sticker (lol jk, I don’t drive) but idk if in the doodle universe Christine and Erik will be a real couple outside of his daydreams bc my brand of humour is more “poor fool he makes me laugh (but also sympathize with his plight)”, so I will leave that sort of thing to the fic writers haha

[givemeanaccountalready]

Hi! Off sideblog/anon but anyways For the milgram ask game: Yuno for 2, 5, and 18

2. Favorite music video moment/frame?

Hmmm, I think this one is my favorite:

Pop off, queen ��🏻

Honestly, I love the irony of Yuno going, “Oh, so you love your ideal me? How about I break it and see how much you love me then?” To which the Internet told her, “YAAAAS, SLAY GURL SLAY.”

Yuno is going to live her life the way she sees fit, and you can’t stop her or her catsona. In all seriousness, I do admire the confidence and agency that they gave Yuno in Milgram. It would have been so, so easy to say she did sex work as a last resort to make ends meet or some other reason, and Yuno makes it clear that her choices, while we may not agree or like every single one, are entirely her own. No one forced her to do this. This was something she chose. Not only is her agency very refreshing, but I also enjoy her acceptance that she may be condemned and is even open to it, even if it is only there to kill this pitiable image of herself. Maybe condemned isn’t the best word… open to the consequences of her actions, be it good or bad? She doesn’t shy away from what she’s done or that she won’t stop because people tell her not to. It’s interesting. I like her character a lot actually. She’s in my top 3 for Milgram 😅

5. Favorite voice drama line/moment?

“Well, if I were to say what I was trying to say… It’s fucking bothersome.”

Iconic.

It doesn’t help that I’m weak for precision F-strikes. I think she’s the first, and so far the only character to say fuck and I am here for it. I remember having English teacher after English teacher emphasize the importance of a good hook, and Yuno executed it beautifully. Her hook is succinct and strong, and then she goes straight into ripping Es a new one over the changed circumstances of Milgram. I know Yuno has a devil may care attitude, but that attitude reads to me more as a defensive front to present to the world rather than her being flippant and ditzy. She foils nicely with Fuuta and Kotoko in how the three of them look for justice. Fuuta focused more on calling out bad behavior than reparations before Milgram and during Trial 1, while Kotoko is almost certainly doubling down on her belief that she is the fang of justice. During Yuno’s first trial voice drama, it seems like she’s trying to feel things out and see what exactly Es and Milgram have in store for her and the other prisoners. During the second voice drama, she seems to have a grasp on what Milgram wants (justice outside of the law, seemingly without regard for nuance) and decides not to play ball.

She lists all the new issues with the Milgram prisoners that she is aware of and presses Es on what they are going to do. When Es is verbally cornered and repeats Milgram’s purpose statement, Yuno asks if repeating it makes it easier to believe (also iconic). Yuno doesn’t seem to be interested in making Es pay, just aware that they are not infallible, so don’t act like it. She doesn’t beat the dead horse with assigning blame, like Trial 1 Fuuta would have, but she isn’t trying to force consequences for Es’s decisions like Kotoko would have.

Fuuta and Kotoko operate on simpler terms of black and white morality, which feeds their behavior before and during their time in Milgram. Yuno is acutely aware of society’s perceptions and that situations vary in terms of complexity so blanket statements like FORGIVEN and NOT FORGIVEN are ultimately useless. It doesn’t allow for nuance and just causes trouble.

18. What non DECO Vocaloid song fits them?

To be honest, I don’t really know any Japanese songs outside of Milgram. She’d probably sing Katy Perry’s “Hot n Cold” to Es and Jackalope as an additional middle finger to Milgram.

Maybe, Kesha’s “Woman”? No, I think “Die Young” fits her vibe better. It’s a fun song to dance and sing to, especially when the drums hit. Yuno can pop off to it.

[sylvies-chen]

Yes Oh my god I completely agree about Keeley unfortunately being reduced to her romances this season without actually getting into the center of what went down with her and Roy. It just all feels sloppy and aggravating?? And I would have LOVED this kind of story if this wasn’t you know the end of the show where there isn’t a lot of real estate to cover the story the way it deserves which feels strange. I mean I wanna give this show the benefit of the doubt but so far this season it just um hasn’t. 

YESSS EXACTLY!! I think in this instance the show just made a decision as if it were a show with a long shelf life when in reality it’s the last season. like we’re in the fourth quarter here folks, every minute of screen time is crucial! there is no leeway to just be having keeley confirmed as bisexual (by sleeping with her boss no less!) just for the hell of it before undoubtedly pairing her back up with roy. I really wish jack had just been there for her as a mentor to show what it’s like being a woman running a business. there are so many other, wiser ways to have given us our representation while still examining where roykeeley went wrong especially because they’re so beloved— to both the characters and to a lot of people in the fandom.

as for the power imbalance argument people keep making, I think it’s way too premature to say they’re not addressing it because they literally just slept together while drunk like the next episode is most likely going to deal with the aftermath and the boss nature of it all is going to come into play, I’m pretty confident about that.

however, I will say that although this was a weak point for the season, I haven’t been hating it?? you’re totally valid in feeling doubt in the season so far as a whole but I personally LOVED episodes 2-4! The season premiere wasn’t AS strong to me but maybe that’s just because it felt too bleak a note to start on with ted seeming so lost in his purpose. Like of course I’ve had my bones to pick with pretty much every episode of television ever to exist including those ones, but overall I’d say tonight’s episode was the only one so far that has felt truly disappointing in certain aspects.

[c0rpseductor]

rambling about plans for my ffxiv fic

doing another round of reading about writing blind characters for y’shtola purposes and i feel much better about the resource i found this time compared to last time, which didn’t have a lot of highly specific day to day information and seemed to forget very often that other disabilities exist. there was a very frustrating post for me as a cane user due to injury/nerve damage where that person was listing little habits people have carrying a white cane, like tapping their fingers against it or leaning with it and saying that sighted people will never experience the feeling of having an extension of themselves like that, which. Holy shit other people use canes too! this one is good about acknowledging comorbidity and intersecting disabilities and stuff.

anyway. i think there’s really so much to unpack when it comes to making decisions about writing y’shtola’s blindness in a way that’s not totally fucking stupid, especially as a sighted person, so i’m happy to be armed with both generalized “here is why x trope is annoying” and “here is how xyz thing actually works in real life” type information. it gives me a lot of detail to think about and try to incorporate, which is important in a novelization with a tone like morningstar’s especially.

it’s frustrating that there’s not much to go off in canon, too. they do the annoying “this blind character has special powers that negate her blindness” trope, and they also don’t seem to be very consistent about how much vision she has left, if any, and kind of handwave it with aethersight because it’s treated as like…functionally identical to sightedness if not better. except for when they remember she’s blind for character moments. i feel like the bit in endwalker where she can’t see the blasphemies because they have no aether implies she’s TOTALLY blind, but the way she interacts with the murals in rak’tika suggests she has vision left, because she doesn’t ask for anyone to describe what they depict and the only distinction she gives about paints is like, that the paint is old. and i think “her aethersight can tell the difference between the aetheric makeup of paint colors and ink and paper and so on” is fucking dumb.

i can’t decide whether i’d rather have her retain some vision or be totally blind. retaining or having some vision is far more common, and there’s no reason she couldn’t. additionally, that would mean her aethersight could be an assistive technology integrated into her remaining vision rather than something that “makes up” for her blindness. that bit in endwalker Does rely on her being totally blind, but then i feel like there’s less wiggle room to write a less offensive version of the aethersight because we’re back to “it’s a replacement for vision.” i’d also been thinking that emet-selch’s soulsight is more like a separate, more conceptual sixth sense with no real mundane corollary that he simplifies to “color” bc linguistic limitation, and given aethersight is essentially the same ability, applying that to y’shtola’s experience of it might…mitigate that?

it’s one of those things where i think there’s going to be some residual ableism no matter what. :/ i want to avoid as much of it as i can, but trying to change too much about her character or removing her aethersight entirely does pretty drastically change the trajectory of the original story AND remove the few moments where it actually does have the potential to intersect with her ability in an interesting way. if i were writing a less canon-compliant fic maybe i’d remove it altogether, but this is really an adaptation to prose with changes as opposed to a totally new narrative. i don’t want to potentially fuck everything up.

i think one big consideration is going to be her relationship with books, because she’s a huge reader and scholar. braille or some equivalent Should exist in the FFXIV universe and i think y’shtola should certainly be literate in it, but i think it’s also true that she’s probably not going to be able to find braille versions of Many of her Dusty Ancient Tomes. i like the idea of a spell that reads books aloud to her in her own voice, but specifically her inside-her-head voice, because that just seems like a fun detail to add to a magic spell like that. (i saw something like that in an emetwol fic i read except it was the sighted MC listening to an enchanted book urianger gave her that read in his voice. y’shtola is not typically a character in those fics so much as a vague amorphous force of stern disapproval and/or dispenser of noncanon soulbonding exposition, but it did kind of feel like. Hey. Why were audiobooks not the blind woman’s idea)

i could probably work her sorceress staff into having a dual function as a cane, maybe by making it lighter? i think any mobility aid she uses has to be something that can be seamless in combat. if her aethersight is like residual vision or if she has some level of residual vision, then it’d probably suit her okay to transition from cane to staff, she’s gotta stay in her ley lines and she has other ways to remain in touch with her environment. a familiar is also a possibility. i think with very few exceptions (like asking someone to describe a specific sight to her), she would reject any kind of assistance from a human guide; it’s not that she’s above connections with others or interdependence, i just think she plays her emotional cards really close to the vest in the same way matoya did and doesn’t particularly like engaging in that sort of vulnerability. but just like her asking urianger to describe the sky as a moment of emotional resonance and demonstration of trust, i could see that being relevant in other ways in morningstar, like maybe her intending to lead by example for pfeil.

i think their relationship is actually far more important than i initially gave it credit for given their relationships to disability. thancred is also real life disabled in my fic in that he has no vision in one eye, but i think he just has a less intense relationship with disability compared to the two of them if that makes sense? they have different motivations for what they’re doing to themselves but pfeil and y’shtola both take inordinate risks and completely wreck their bodies as a reaction to disability. i think for y’shtola it’s more a sort of dignity of risk thing, where she’s willing to do absolutely anything to get to where she wants and doesn’t necessarily have any internalized negative impressions of her own blindness by shb — maybe part of this is her relying on a variety of assistive technologies rather than JUST residual vision and aethersight and being reckless in other ways. for pfeil it’s actively a “moral” (read: obsessive-compulsive and fawning response) thing; he thinks he’s obligated to hurt himself because his physical disabilities represent a failure to live up to the role of Warrior of Light.

that’s a big source of tension between the two of them, bc pfeil thinks she’s still operating on the internal ableism he’s operating on (and even immediately after being blinded i think hers was never so intense as pfeil’s). conversely y’shtola recognizes that the way he thinks of himself is INCREDIBLY fucked and alarming and that his relationship to risk is actively and intentionally self-destructive as opposed to incidentally like hers. y’shtola didn’t jump after the antidote with the thought of martyring herself; pfeil in her shoes would’ve considered martyring himself the only morally defensible choice, because he’s got worms.

i also think that y’shtola is a person he deeply admires and respects, even though they butt heads not infrequently given she’s a lot more pragmatic and brusque and pfeil is a very bleeding heart on his sleeve type. i mentioned earlier there’s a lot of like, “oh no y’shtola knows i’m banging emet and doesn’t approve!” in m/f emetwol and it’s usually kind of weirdly misogynistic and racist (we HAVE to shit on the WOC for not supporting this deeply white couple!), so initially i wanted to avoid pfeil asking for her take on the relationship after they’ve broken up, but i think actually that’s very in keeping with their relationship and my instinct was correct. y’shtola is more or less a member of his family whose opinion he holds in very high esteem, of course he’s going to want to process something like this with her. i don’t really want to center it on her approval because of course they both agree it was a stupid decision, more on the insight that she has into people that he doesn’t as someone with both autism and limited/stunted social experience due to the horrors.

Jesus this post is long. drives me insane that I can do this but can’t just write the next chapter already

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

The Big Retcon is...in the most general terms...A much maligned decision in Neighbours history. And, like...I get it. Tarnishing Helen’s legacy was never going to be popular. In fact, I might even say there are few things they could have done to make people hate these new characters more off the bat. 

Looking beyond the outrage, then, to what purpose was the introduction of the Ramsay kids? I have always been taken aback by Paul’s line ‘it’s too late to play happy families’ that he says to Elle, after she and Lucas find the locket under Harold’s house (which is a silly storyline to begin with smdh), which is actually the same thing Robert said about him in 2006. Was this storyline supposed to hint the beginning of Paul’s personality downturn that we see in this era? His behaviour is not out of character, he acted the same way about Glen -- But that was more about (at least, I think) not wanting to be replaced to Jim as the Eldest Son. (a behaviour I’d like to see repeated with Robert and Leo ever given the chance sigh) 

Perhaps this is some kind of retribution for his treatment of Glen? The brother he didn’t try to save leaves forever, but the sister he does try to save dies in his arms? A closer look at Elle’s inherent mistrust of not just Paul, but everyone in her life when she believes without a doubt that he would kill his own sister? I mean. Her brother tried to kill her twice. with bombs. I know i must seem terminally Robert but I can’t help it I’m a RobGirl for Life. 

Being exposed to more Kate has really made me think back on the actual retcon itself. I’m not going to put myself out here and say it was ‘good’ or even that it helped the show in the long run -- It was neither. But the constant barrage of hate for something that happened over a decade ago just bothers me. I’m trying to straighten my thoughts out on it and figure out what exactly I think. I know I’m not passionately hateful about it like some are, although I’ll admit that tarnishing Helen’s legacy does bother me. Not because I think Helen is an idol and we must never speak badly about her as a character she did have flaws and make bad choices (sleeping with her daughter’s boyfriend for one) but just because it was such a boring way to do it. I like Kate well enough, she’s boring 80% of the time I’ve seen her on screen but we can’t all be Elle Robinson. Sophie is fine, just a normal character and the boy one didn’t stay long enough for me to get a reading on him. 

I guess this is just a list of stuff. I haven’t come to any conclusions really, but there’s so little actual commentary on it other than ‘retcon bad’ that I just want to like...Analyse a bit. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Know Your Place 3

Warnings: non/dubcon, power dynamic, age gap, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Walter Marshall, destroyer!Chris [for the purposes of this AU, I will give him the last name Jackson] (Professor AU)

Summary: after a life time of home schooling, you finally get to experience the real world in college. (petite reader)

Part of the Bad Professors AU

Note: Please leave some feedback and reblog <3 As always, I love to chat with you all. 

The grocery store is nice. It’s not very big or crowded either. You expected one of those manic superstores you saw on TV. Instead, shoppers mill around in a mellow din and investigate apples or jars of jam. 

You take out your list as you step out of the way of another customer. As you unfold it, Walter stands nearby. He looks around the store, his chin high, and heat speckles across your neck. You look up at him and give a sheepish smile. 

“You don’t have to stick around. You just need coffee, right?” 

“I’m in no hurry,” he assures you and peeks down at the paper in your hand, “so, what’s on the list? What are we looking for?” 

“You really don’t have to,” you insist. “I’m sure I can figure this all out.” 

“I’m sure you can,” he says and takes a basket from the stack near the door. “But I’m offering because I want to.” 

“Hm, okay. Bet it would be faster...” you mutter. “Okay, er, zucchini.” 

“Zucchini,” he nods. “Well, look at me talking a big game and you stumped me. I don’t think I’ve ever bought any.” 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” 

“No problem, it’s gotta be with the... squash,” he points and gently nudges you ahead of him. “Right there.” 

He walks with you down the aisle and you squeeze by a cart as he trails behind you. You stop before the green vegetables and take a bag. Walter nears and offers up the basket. You bag up the zucchini and set it carefully inside. 

“Alright, and eggs... flour...” you look down the list. 

“Making a cake?” He wonders as he turns down the next row of produce. 

“Muffins. I thought... every day I could have one for breakfast. Like my mom makes. And I could freeze the extras for next week.” You explain, “and lunches, just a loaf of bread and tuna.” 

“Wow, seems like you’ve got everything planned out,” he muses. 

“I thought I did but I couldn’t even find the grocery store,” you laugh nervously. 

“Don’t be rough on yourself. You’re new. You’ll get around,” he assures. “Hey, be right back, gonna go grab my beans.” 

“Oh, okay.” 

“Dairy’s down there,” he points before he hurries off. 

“Thanks,” you utter after him. 

You grab a carton of eggs and peer around at the aisles, squinting up at the signs for each aisle. You see him down one as you search for the flour. It’s in the same row as the coffee. As you come down it, he tucks away his cell phone. 

He approaches as you look at the bags of flour. You grab a small one. Light enough to carry back to your dorm. 

“Here,” he takes the eggs and puts them in the basket. As you put the flour in after them, you sense his size again. The way he looms reminds you of how small you feel and really are. “So, besides getting lost, how’s school going?” 

“Good, I think. Yeah. I like most of my classes,” you say. 

“But...” 

“But?” You check your list again and find a tin of baking soda. 

“You don’t sound entirely pleased.” 

“I don’t?” You look at him. “Well, I guess I miss my mom. A little.” 

“That’s normal. And it just means you love her.” He insists. 

“I do,” you agree. 

“What about friends?” He prompts. 

“None, so far,” you shrug. “But I guess it takes time.” 

“No one you know from home going here?” He asks. 

You shake your head, “home schooled.” 

“Home schooled,” he hums, “wow.” 

“I know, it’s weird.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“That’s what the guy in my history class said. It’s okay. It’s different. I think it’s weird to go to a school school. Sounds scary,” you say. 

“Well, you are,” he chuckles. “You’re in college. That means you’re pretty smart, home school or not.” 

“Maybe,” you agree dully and check your list. 

“Marshall?” A deep timbre undercuts the next item written down, “figures I run into you.” A man appears at Walter’s other side. “Getting that piss you call coffee.” 

“Chris,” Walter greets flatly. 

“Don’t act so happy to see me,” the man retorts. “How’s classes? You suspend anyone yet? I know it’s the first day but I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

“Haha,” Walter drones sarcastically. 

The man puts his hand on the shelve and as he leans, his eyes fall on you. He’s a tiny bit shorter than Walter but still taller than you. And his dark hair is slightly fluffy and a thick beard darkens his square jaw. His irises are bright and blue. 

“Oops, I’m interrupting,” he says. 

“Doing some shopping,” Walter answers. 

“Don’t tell me you’re in one of his classes. Good luck.” The other man chirps. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Walter girds. 

“Him? Chris,” the man reaches across Walter’s front and offers his hand. “And you... TA?” 

“Mauve,” you shake his hand gently as his covers yours completely. His grip is strong and firm. “Um, we’re... I...” you hesitate as you try to come up with some sort of explanation. “We just met but Walter’s been so helpful. I’m new here so I don’t my way around yet.” 

“Walter being helpful? And who wouldn’t be for you, Mauve?” The man grins. 

“Chris,” Walter growls and angles away from him, “what else is on your list?” 

“Erm, bread,” you flick it nervously with your thumb, the other man peer around Walter at you. 

“Nice to see you, then, Marshall,” he says. 

“Mm, you too,” Walter doesn’t look back as he marches past you.  

You smile at Chris and give a tiny wave before you follow the larger man back down the aisle. You catch up to him as the list crinkles in your hand, “is that a friend?” You ask. 

“Kinda,” he shrugs. “He’s in Psych too. Sometimes we teach 304 together.” 

“Oh. Cool. Must be nice to get to work with others like that,” you say. “He seems nice.” 

“Nice? Chris?” He echoes. “Can be, I guess.” 

“Oh, okay,” you accept. 

“Mauve, you’re a nice girl. You think everyone is nice. Just like that guy in the Student Centre, right?” He says. 

“Well, he wasn’t mean.” 

“No, because he was trying to trick you,” he turns down another aisle and stops by the small cans of fish. “I’m not trying to scare you, I’m just looking out for you. Guys like the one who sat at your table, they aren’t nice. Colleges aren’t full of nice guys.” 

Your lips fall straight and you nod. You pick out a can of tuna as you try to hide your anxiety. You know he’s right. At the orientation, they told you how to call Campus Police and about those buttons on the polls that set off the sirens to signal help. And you’ve seen the news stories. Your mom couldn’t stop watching them before you left. 

“My mom told me the same,” you say. 

“She’s a smart woman. You wanna stay safe for her, right? She must be very worried to have you so far away, huh?” He drawls. You nod. “So, how about I keep an eye on you? Just so you can call and tell her everything’s good.” 

“I think... yeah, that’s a good idea,” you agree. “Walter...” 

“Yes?” He raises the basket for you to put the cans of tuna inside. 

“Are we friends now?” 

You peek up at him and you’re surprised to see his lips curve, just a little, “sure.” 

[lemurballing]

hiii i’m just going to ramble on about this cause this is some great food for thought <3

i really love that point on the drama being because each of them HAVE a role in the team, and they fail it:

tangle did the team name thing, which is - I think - moreso a corruption of her desire to keep people together that fails at its purpose, than simply calling it a ‘failure’. she tried to bring people together, for the wrong reasons/through the wrong method; using whisper’s memories and past to bind her, instead of letting the team stand as something new in whisper’s life to help her move on. (this is why i don’t think the DC name should even have been brought back - or if they do disband, if they come back, it should be under a new name. it has to ride the line of being respectful homage without falling into being chains entrapping whisper to her trauma.) but - she’s still doing her job right otherwise! she tries to reconcile with whisper over it, and whisper reciprocates, and lanolin wasn’t quite involved but is fine. and just before this, tangle reminded the team of their roles - reminding lanolin she’s their head and she can do this, and then actually getting upset at whisper for trying to head off alone to scout. (also more digimon vibes, this is kinda like a skullgreymon thing in my eyes - forcing something that should come naturally, and making it all worse in the process. except no giant dinosaur skeleton monster)

then whisper, with her recurring… flakiness, i guess? flightiness? when something goes wrong, she pulls back and makes to leave, even if it withdraws her from people that help her. she can’t help feeling that she should go off alone. combined with her impulsivity (like is noted that tangle/restraint post i made :3) when she goes off without a check in place, ie tangle or even lanolin… yeah, she makes a decision that looks bad in the moment, because she cut herself off from help. going to tangle or lanolin first with her proof could get them on her side, and they could even think up an alternate way to tell if duo is mimic like by noting his disguise flaws - maybe even some plot like making him think his disguise was wrong, and noticing if it changes tomorrow as he ‘fixes’ it… so this isn’t exactly the same thing as tangle’s ‘failing moment’ in my eyes… that ‘guardian angel’ comparison, when she was doing that, she was always distant anyways. the problem is whisper needs to stop being the ‘guardian angel’ and take up a new role within the team structure - to get used to being in a team again, and having people she can trust. (which tangle goes a long way in!) if i had to make a digimon comparison here, it’d be ken right after he comes to his senses and abandons being the emperor - he’s still holding himself at a distance to the others, though because ken doesn’t feel welcome to join them, and for whisper because of lingering trauma and a failure to reach out to others before going it alone.

and lanolin i think you’ve hit on the head - she’s inexperienced AND bossy. even if she isn’t 100% sure of her decisions, she’s headstrong enough to make them and double down on them. she may have been working with the restoration for a while, but tangle and whisper getting right into the thick of things all the time still gives them more ‘on-hand experience’ than lanolin. and lanolin’s ‘bossy’ control factor might be a result of her own hangups and traumas; maybe she just performs best in a situation where instructions are clearly delivered and clearly followed, and took upon the role of delivering instructions more than following them. and while she isn’t totally unsympathetic, she did fail to consider that if whisper was driven to attack someone, even someone who seems innocent, she might have a valid, severe reason to have suspicions someone among them is a mole - even if she’s wrong about duo. (if i had a digimon character comparison… it’d be iori/cody: the one with the most black-and-white morality, the boy who felt awful about lying to authority in order to save his friends’ lives, and the boy who had no tolerance for ken and his past until he saw how giving ken a chance made things better than shutting him out, how daisuke brought them together, and maybe iori was wrong…)

idk, part of me still feels like lanolin’s addition to their dynamic is muddling things and getting in the way of development that was going on between tangle and whisper? like, because there’s this new person to balance and work with, tangle can’t focus as much on getting through to whisper she can’t keep going it alone and has to trust tangle - with another person there, they don’t act the way they could while alone and get to the heart of the matter without whisper closing off some. (also i feel like lanolin already has impressions of at least tangle, from back when tangle was working with the restoration as an active member - tangle stands out, maybe because she did paperwork sloppily or while complaining loudly or something, so lanolin would have a negative impression of tangle before starting to work with her, while lanolin is almost a nobody to whisper and tangle because she doesn’t stand out. but then any impression of that should have fallen away during crisis city when tangle proved herself, on the same team as lanolin; when lanolin herself had more faith in tangle getting things fixed than herself, and took the hit to spare tangle! tbh that’s a moment i see lanolin as a good leader - she made a decision to /not/ involve herself and delegate, in a situation where tangle was really well-suited to go escape and make it back to sonic and crew. not because the decision took lanolin out of the equation, but because she balanced things and intentionally changed things to go better, to keep tangle from getting caught in her grief. and - she trusted tangle to do a good job without being overseen. a big part of being a leader, as i’m learning irl as a manager, is trusting people to do the jobs you have for them, and realizing when you can’t trust them. failing to trust when you can sours things and makes the team run slower, while failing to correct someone you should know you can’t trust means things don’t get done, or worse. you need to know your team well and see what they can and can’t do - lanolin isn’t there yet, and won’t be until she opens up and becomes more like a friend to tangle and whisper, while tangle herself is likely closer to that aspect of leadership than lanolin is.)

in the end it all comes back to trust; tangle extending trust, whisper closing off from it, and lanolin having her clear gateway between being trusted and being discounted that she can sort you between. she sorted duo into that ‘trusted’ door, and wouldn’t shove him back out (even among very reasonable and valid questions about his intentions) until forced to.

cause see - introducing a member of the team that is decisive and leads them seems like a nice fit for tangle and whisper! whisper has been shown to rely on guidance and orders and to defer, while tangle doesn’t like to or trust that she can be the one making those decisions; they do lack a ‘headstrong’ aspect to their teamup, which isn’t necessary but would balance them.

the problem is that making that headstrong leader the LEAST experienced of the three is a bad move for the team construction - the DC were ‘doomed to fail’ from that point, if lanolin couldn’t defer to tangle and whisper at times. from a meta standpoint, taking tangle and whisper as two strong characters who have tackled and won their own adventures and then placing them under the oversight of some rando almost seems disrespectful to them - we’ve seen them prove themselves capable, and now they’re being ranked lower than a background character? and thus being restricted by bureaucracy and authority?

additionally, some of this ‘need for’ or gap in the tangle and whisper team construction is because of a vacuum tangle left when her character got filed down. that’s for another post… (the one example i will note because it is the one big egregious one is tangle in 58 written to suggest whisper go off alone to scout, for the purpose of giving lanolin the line that says ‘no i have a better idea…’ which is just everyone go together. that idea has tangle written all over it - last issue tangle made a BIG DEAL (and reasonably so) over whisper not going alone - did we need to kneecap tangle to make lanolin useful to the team? if you have to, she probably shouldn’t be there, or you should write them better so there IS a valid reason for lanolin to add to the team.)

Part 3 of me reposting old character analyses

[multifandombxxch]

“His Gaze”

Mafia!Doyoung x chubby!blackfemale!Reader

Warnings: age gap, violence, cursing,smut, reader is stubborn ,mentions of illegal activities , unprotected s3x (wrap it befor you tap it kids)

NB: this is made up and is strictly for entertainment purposes i dont condone any of the violence or illegal activities mentioned.

This is an AU (Alternate Universe) fic. Doyoung in this fic is just a fictional character I don’t believe he is like this at all.

Synopsis

Y/N was average. average life; average grades Average looks. Average everything.

Doyoung didn’t think so, though. From the very first time he set his eyes on her, he thought she was "f*ckin' pretty."

He wanted her, f*cking hell He craved her... He wanted to claim her, and what Doyoung wants he gets.

Y/n’s life is about to get crazy, doing things she never thought she would, all because of ‘his gaze’

 Word count: 1.6k

 PART ONE

 “Just once?”

“No Mills too much noise and lights…too many people”

Here we were in our campus coffee shop arguing about the same thing for the third time today.

Millie wanted me to go clubbing with her tonight.

“But y/n you never leave the dorm” Millie pushed

I sighed. She wasn’t gonna stop until I agreed

“If I go tonight do you promise not to make me go again?” I questioned

“YES! I promise to never ever ask again” she smiled in triumph

“Ok fine, I’ll go”

 **************AT THE CLUB**************

When we arrived at the so called ‘club’ (it was more like an elitist room filled with snobs) I wasn’t excited in the least. Now I’m not going to lie aside from the club being in the rich part of the city it didn’t give me sense of security. This place made me feel like anything could go wrong at any time.

“What in the actual fuck is this place Mills?”

Her black ass looked me dead in the eye and said “Oh, I’ve never been here before, but I saw a flyer on the school notice board, and it looked fun”

I halted my steps immediately “Millie I’m going to slap the black off you!”

She kissed her teeth “Oh come on y/n live a little”

She pulled me as we walked further into the ‘club’

Not soon after we found a small table in the corner of the room

The base of the speakers ran through my body blaring a song I didn’t recognize.

“Y/N I want you to let loose tonight, okay?” Mill said as she put two martinis on the table.

I raised my eyebrows in surprise “Girl, when did you go get drinks?”

“I got them while you were over here relishing in your discomfort” she laughed

“Here, drink this so we can go dance” she pushed the drink up to my lips.

I drank it.

Worst decision ever.

The bitterness of alcohol always caught me off guard.

“Damn this shit bitter” I said in disgust.

“Let’s go dance” Millie said as she pulled my hand to the dance floor

Starboy by the Weeknd started to play through the speakers

“Well shiiitt did they know I was coming? This is my shit” Millie screamed as she started to dance

 I laughed and watched as her dark skin shone under the blue lights of the club. Her braided ponytail danced along with her.

I was always proud to say all my friends were fine as fuck but Millie? The bitch could stop breaths if she wanted and the best part? She knew she could.

“Y/n you’re just rocking side to side. That isn’t dancing.” She accused

“They’re not playing the songs I usually dance to” I defended myself

And as if God was laughing at me

The speakers let out the familiar sound of Meghan thee Stallion’s ‘Body’

“Come on bitchh! This your shit right?” Millie hyped me up

And just a few seconds later there I was shaking my ass on the dancefloor as Millie hyped me up

 “Damn, I’ll admit that was fun” I giggled to myself adjusting my dress.

Millie nodded in agreement.

We headed back to our surprisingly unoccupied table.

That when I noticed mills started looking behind me

I smirked “What? See somebody you like?”

“Yes, I do but his friend seems to have taken interest in you” she said without taking her eyes from behind me.

I frowned and tilted my head in confusion ‘What do you mean?”

“Y/N, he’s looking at you” Millie screamed over the loud music

“Who?”

“Hot guy in the VVIP section” she prompted

I turned around and we locked eyes almost immediately.

He tilted his head and smirked

“Ooh bitch you better get that dick before I do cuz he’s asking for it”

Millie snickered

I turned back around suddenly overwhelmed “you know I don’t hook-up Mills”

Swirling my overpriced drink around with my straw “besides, I’m sure some other girl would be willing to let him hit”

“I’m not interested in other girls though, Pretty. I want you.” said an unfamiliar voice behind me

I turned to see ‘hot guy from the VVIP section’ staring right at me.

“I’m Doyoung” he smiled

A fucking gummy smile for fuck’s sake

“Mind telling me your name pretty?”

“Y-y/n”

He stepped closer leaning forward to meet me at eye level

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty Y/N”

I wont lie for a moment I was starstruck. He was gorgeous. His black hair was styled perfectly

And the two top buttons of black dress shirt he wore exposed his firm chest. However, I couldn’t help but notice the air around him. Rich, powerful and…. dark.

“Done eye fucking me princess?” he chuckled

I gasped in surprise “I was not eye fucking you I was simply making an observation.”

“Mhmm…of course” He stood straight once again and unsurprisingly he was taller than me.

I rolled my eyes at that.

“You have a lot of hostility towards me pretty, did I do something wrong?” he asked sincerely

Yes, you’re fine as fuck and I don’t know how to interact with you.

“No” I kept it short.

“Do you and your friend want to come sit with me and my friends?” Doyoung asked

“n-“

“Yes! Yes, we would love to” Mills interrupted me and for the third time tonight dragged me by my hand.

 When we started to walk with ‘guy I wanted to fuck but I can’t because I don’t hook up’ aka Doyoung almost comically the crowds parted like the fucking red sea or some shit.

Infront of his table was a red rope that a security guard unhooked so we could get in.

“Sit” he commanded

Commanded?

“We aren’t dogs you don’t have to speak to us like that” I spoke up

He raised his eyebrows in surprise “Is that’s so? My apologies princess it wasn’t my intention.”

I sat anyway.

I made sure to grip the life out of Millie’s hand under the table for comfort.

He started to introduce his friends

“This is Jaehyun.” Doyoung said as he gestured to the man sitting across from us. He had a dimple which heavily contrasted to his dark demeanour

“And this is Taeyong” He pointed to the man sitting next to Jaehyun. His looks were sharp and contrary to the two other men at the table his vibe wasn’t as dark.

Also, judging by the way Millie kicked my foot under the table he was also the man she was interested in.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n and this is my best friend Millie” I said as Millie waved

I noticed two things as I said this.

Doyoung was staring at me as if he could see my soul and Taeyong smiled fondly at Mills.

“Hi” Jaehyun replied.

“Hello, nice to meet you too” Taeyong said

And for about 5 minutes we sat in silence. Nothing but awkward eye contact between Doyoung and I and the occasional ‘awkward cough’ Millie let out.

Until Jaehyun stood up “Boss, I must go now. The others are expecting me in Milan by tomorrow”

His words were directed to Doyoung

Doyoung nodded “Tell me how it goes, you know what to do if anyone falls out of line”

“Yes boss” Jaehyun said and then left.

It was me, Millie, Doyoung and Taeyong left at the table.

Doyoung was still staring at me.

I’m scared but I’m turned on. Does that even make sense?

“Do you want to dance Millie?” Taeyong suddenly asked

She looked at me with hope in her eyes.

It was girl code to never leave each other for too long in unknown spaces but in a weird way I trusted Taeyong with her and I trusted Doyoung with me.

I nodded “You can go mills”

She smiled and kissed my cheek “I’ll be back soon”

Then they disappeared to the dancefloor

And as expected Doyoung was still staring at me.

“Is there something on my face Doyoung?”

“You don’t know who I am.” He stated not even bothering to answer my question

“Am I supposed to know?” I asked in a rude tone  

He threw his head back and laughed

“So fucking pretty but we’re going to have to work on that attitude princess” he said amusingly

I scoffed in disbelief “who do you think yo-“

I was interrupted by a security guard running up to the table in urgency “Boss we have a problem Choi Seolmin and his entourage are threatening to shoot up the club.”

“Fuck” Doyoung cursed

As if someone lit fire under my ass, I shot up out of my seat “Shoot up? As in gunshots?” I asked

Doyoung looked at me then at the guard “Evacuate the club”

With urgency Doyoung grabbed my hand and pulled me to a room next to our table.

Entering the room it looked to be an office.

I pulled my hand out of his

“Yo, what the actual fuck is going on” My chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself

“No need to worry y/n its just a minor situation” He attempted to reassure

“A MINOR SITUATION THAT REQUIRED YOU TO EVACUATE THE CLUB?!” I shouted

“I’m going to die” I continued

Then realization hit me “Jesus Christ! Millie’s out there” I made a move to open the door

“Open that fucking door and you won’t like the repercussion Y/n, be a good girl and listen” he spoke calmly

“Taeyong already took Millie to safety princess, you don’t need to worry about your friend” he reassured

“If you let anything happen to my friend, I’ll kill you” I threatened

He looked amused “Alright princes but good luck with that”

Then out of nowhere the sound of gunshots started to ring through the air

“Oh my God” I started to cry.

This is the worst night of my life

 **********************************END********************************************

Part two coming soon

 Please comment your fav part or least fav….interact pls!!

[testudoaubrei-blog]

Well, it’s not quite a master’s thesis, but this is (the first of) a series of posts on why Catra and Adora are the best love story in the history of kids TV animation and maybe the greatest love story in the history of TV. This may in some ways be faint praise - romance on TV is generally not very good compared with books or movies. Often it’s just some will they/won’t they sexual tension that is defused by getting characters together and re-heightened by breaking them up. TV is full of nearly shark jumping pointless dramas like Sam and Diane (Cheers, holy fuck am I dating myself, though that was technically before my time), Ross and Rachel (Friends, which was no Cheers) etc, but also some less annoying couples like Ben and Leslie (Parks and Rec) or Amy and Jake (Bk99) who are mostly just kind of cute and fun. Other shows, like the X-Files, teased viewers for years with unresolved sexual tension. In kids shows most romances are, appropriate for their target viewers, mild, sweet relationships based more on self-conscious flirting and blushing than on complex and conflicted feelings or deep passions - which is pretty realistic when the characters are young teens or even mid-teens. Some of these relationships are really well done - Finn and Flame Princess, Dipper and Pacifica (yeah I ship them), the early stages of Katara and Aang (before the showrunners imbued this childhood crush with cosmic significance), Steven and Connie, etc. Catra and Adora, though, are different. Their love story is not a side plot or a sub plot, it’s the heart of the show. It isn’t a childhood crush, it’s a very messy and passionate relationship between two young adults. She-Ra is an emotionally complex lesbian romance just as much as it is a thrilling action/adventure show. Everything about their relationship is baked into the show’s plot, its themes, hell even its musical score. The dramatic tension between Catra and Adora is not the result of stretching out a flirtation for ratings, but a coherent dramatic arc that runs through the entire show. As Noelle said, he made Catradora so central that execs couldn’t take it out without ruining the show. And the show is better for it. In this series of posts I’m going to try to show why, as well as showing why She-Ra is such a fantastic love story.

First off, let’s talk about how Catra and Adora’s character arcs are foils for each other, and how they come together and apart through the series. This is actually a post that I’ve been working on for a while but I keep summarizing the show rather than cutting to the chase, so I’m not going to recite many plot points so much as sketch out what’s going on with the dramatic structure at the time. But also, let’s talk about what each character’s arc is saying, and how they are commenting on each other. Spoiler alert: Catra’s arc is a subversion and critique of stories of empowerment through ruthless self-assertion and revenge, while Adora’s arc is a subversion and critique of chosen one narratives and stories of self-denial and self-transcendence.

When the show starts, Adora and Catra are shown as rivals and friends - their first scene starts the recurring motif of them reaching out for each other as one of them dangles above an abyss, as well as establishing their flirtatious banter and easy camaraderie. We quickly learn that these two young women plan to conquer the world together. These scenes and later flashbacks show Catra and Adora as deeply enmeshed in each others lives, to the point where neither of them (but especially Catra) have clear identities outside of one another. There is so much genuine love on both sides before Adora leaves, but also resentment, envy and fear, especially on Catra’s side, as well as a protectiveness on Adora’s side that deprives Catra of her autonomy. They are both being abused by Shadow Weaver - Catra physically  and emotionally, Adora emotionally. It wouldn’t be too much to say that Shadow Weaver holds Catra hostage to control Adora (this is why critiques that Adora abandoned Catra to be abused are actually kind of messed up, since they accept Shadow Weaver’s premise that Adora is responsible for what Shadow Weaver does to Catra). In addition, Catra and Adora actually see the world incredibly differently. Adora already sees the world in terms of right, wrong and her destiny to right wrongs - this is why it’s important for her  to accept the Horde’s obvious lies - she couldn’t keep living if she didn’t. Catra, on the other hand, sees the world solely in terms of survival and personal loyalty - everything for her is about preserving herself and the person she cares about - Adora.

Then, when Adora finds the sword, she leaves because it’s the right thing to do. Catra doesn’t even have a concept of ‘the right thing to do’ being something she should care about, or perhaps, something she can care about as an irredeemably evil, awful fuck-up. So at Thaymor neither one understands where the other is coming from, and Catra and Adora begin to part. This is the first turning point in their relationship. Adora chooses duty over what she desires, Catra chooses to protect herself (such as she sees it) and nurse her sense of betrayal and abandonment.

Their relationship until Promise is a kind of weird Frenemy thing that is fascinating to watch and sold me on the show. Neither one wants to fully admit to themselves that the other is now their enemy, neither one has given up on changing the other’s mind. Each is furious at the other, and desperate to see her again at the same time. There’s a lot of heartache and just as much sexual tension, especially at Princess Prom. Both of them come alive when they fight each other (more about that in a later post). But they’re already growing apart - Adora embracing her destiny as She-Ra, Catra rising in the ranks for the Horde. Adora now has the purpose she always wanted, plus other friends and a sense of being chosen to do something great, while Catra now has power - the means to protect herself from people like Shadow Weaver as well as the vindication she had always been denied, and even the opportunity to beat Shadow Weaver at her own game.

The next turning point is Promise. Holy fuck, this episode. It’s an episode that is even more heartbreaking after you’ve watched the show because you know just how much worse things are going to get, and yet, it’s a necessary part of both of their character arcs. Even through season 1 Catra and Adora had remained very much enmeshed in each others lives in an increasingly fucked up way as they grew apart but refused to turn away from each other. Even though they aren’t -exactly- a romantic couple (Adora doesn’t recognize and acknowledge her feelings until the last episode of Season 5), Season 1 of She-Ra is one of the worst breakups I have seen on TV. As I said in a couple of previous posts, this is the kind of shit that the Mountain Goats write songs about. Everything that was poisoning their love for each other even before episode 1 bubbles to the surface and combines with them fighting on opposite sides of the war to make a truly fucked up situation. In the end, it’s Catra that makes the choice to turn away from Adora. This isn’t a -good- decision. It’s spiteful, and destructive, and based on an outright deluded understanding of their relationship (inspired by Light Hope’s manipulations and her own issues), but it’s in some ways a necessary decision. Catra has been so wrapped up in Adora for so long that she isn’t going to be able to figure out who -she- is without cutting Adora out of her life. And the same is true of Adora.

But each of them do this in about the worst way possible. Catra embraces destruction, ambition, manipulation and outright cruelty, turning the tactics of her abusers against them and against everyone around her. She first triumphs over Shadow Weaver and manipulates Entrapta into trying to corrupt Etheria itself. Meanwhile Adora ‘lets go’ and commits herself to the self-denying mantle of She-Ra. Over the next several seasons, their respective paths will nearly lead both Catra and Adora to their deaths (in the Season 4 finale).

For the next season (counting season 2 and 3 as one) Catra and Adora are still closely linked, but as enemies. Still, there’s more than enough flirtation between them (that ‘Hey Catra’ in the first episode of Season 2 is something else), and especially on Adora’s side we see her hold back with Catra, and often take responsibility for the harm Catra inflicts, just like she had when they were kids. Yet they still drift apart - after facing off every other episode in Season 1, they spend less and less time on screen together through season 2 and 3. Catra continues her ascent to power and descent into villainy while Adora becomes more of a stressed out mess as she takes the fate of the world and the wellbeing of everyone she cares about on her admittedly broad shoulders. Catra’s one moment of vulnerability is rewarded by Shadow Weaver’s betrayal and her exile, then Catra triumphs in ruthless badass fashion through sheer desperation and aggression. In the Crimson Wastes, we see Catra at her most independent, and she almost seems happy. But once Adora shows up and Catra hears about Shadow Weaver, she’s sucked back into the worst of her resentments, and she makes very clear that being happy is less important to her than making sure Adora is miserable.

This changes everything. Catra completely breaks with reality and tries to kill Adora, herself and the world rather than lose to Adora and Shadow Weaver (I do think it’s important to remember that she does that after Shadow Weaver nearly kills her). Catra betrays everyone around her when she exiles Entrapta, threatens Scopria and lies to Hordak. Then she flips the switch. When Adora tries to fix things, Catra fights to her own death to make sure that the world disintegrates with her. For her part, Adora fights first to understand what is wrong with the world and then to fix it. Finally she tells Catra that destroying the world is her choice and she has to live with it, decks her, and then sees her off with a death glare once the portal is closed. With this, Adora writes Catra off even if, as she says later, she never never hated her. By doing that, Adora casts off the guilt that had dogged her and takes responsibility for her own life rather than someone else’s - this is actually a huge step for her, and one that will become more important in Season 4.

Season 4 is in many ways the nadir of their relationship. They only see each other once during the entire season, in Fluterrina, when Adora tries to blast Catra, much to the latter’s shock. There’s a sense in that scene that Catra is trying to have the same flirtatious enmity she used to have with Adora, and Adora is having none of it. Catra almost seems hurt by this, which is an early hint at how isolated Catra is beginning to feel. Catra spends the rest of the season at her highest and lowest. On the one hand she spends most of 12 episodes winning by every standard she has ever claimed to care about, besting Hordak himself in single combat and making herself co-ruler of the Horde and coming within a day’s march of ending the Rebellion. In many ways it is the ultimate empowerment fantasy - the abused young woman has defeated her abusers, showed up everyone who doubted her and forced everyone to respect her. But I think it’s striking that the show starts with her and Adora dreaming of conquering the world together and in Season 4 Catra nearly succeeds in conquering it alone, almost like she was trying to live out her old shared fantasy while proving she didn’t need her former best friend. 

At the same time, Catra is clearly miserable. She’s always been unhappy, but in Season 4 we see her completely isolated and lying to herself and everyone who will listen in a desperate attempt to justify her actions. Turning the tactics of Hordak and Shadow Weaver against them to gain power and then against Scorpia and Entrapta to maintain it haven’t vindicated Catra, they’ve made her more and more alone as Entrapta is exiled and Scorpia drifts away. Meanwhile Catra reaches out to Double Trouble, and her interactions with them reek of a kind of desperate desire to have someone in her life (the feeling of their interaction is of an unhealthy casual relationship where one partner becomes emotionally invested and the other takes advantage of that while denying the other the closeness they desire). As people leave her, one after the other, it becomes clearer and clearer that Catra doesn’t want power at all - she wants connection, friendship, love, and power is a very poor replacement. As I said in my long Catra rant, Season 4 is both her ‘Walter White as a Catgirl’ season and the beginning of her redemption. Everything comes to head when Sparkles destroys everything Catra has tried to achieve, Double Trouble delivers those harsh truths and Horde Prime shows up and makes it all irrelevant, just highlighting how futile all her struggles and sacrifices and crimes have been.

Meanwhile Adora spends Season 4 becoming her own her and her own woman. After telling off Catra, she grows more and more disillusioned with Light Hope and critical of Glimmer (though the latter has more than a shade of her old habit of taking responsibility for others - Adora’s development is not linear). She’s gained the courage and confidence to strike out her own path, not just follow a destiny. At the season’s end she once again breaks with her best friend to do what is right, and discards the destiny that she was being prepared for. But in this case she isn’t chasing one packaged destiny for another, instead she’s making her own choice and literally shattering the thing that she thought gave her life purpose. It’s badass, and heartbreaking, and along with decking Catra and jumping after Catra into the abyss (see below) it’s the perfect Adora moment.

In many ways Season 5 starts with Catra and Adora farther apart than they have ever been. They aren’t even enemies anymore, they’re completely out of each other’s lives. And both Catra and Adora are lost at the beginning of Season 5 - Catra is useless and alone on Prime’s ship, completely defeated despite ostensibly being on the winning side, and she goes through the motions of her normal plotting without any particular conviction and none of her normal flair. Meanwhile Adora is even more miserable and self-destructive than usual, throwing herself at Horde Bots and working herself until she drops of exhaustion. In a very real way they both stay lost until they have a chance to help the other. Catra takes responsibility for what she’s done and what she can do, saves Glimmer (at least partly for Adora’s sake), apologizes to Adora, and sacrifices herself. Adora only seems to come alive when she decides to turn around, face Prime, and save the cat. And when she does, Catra and Adora’s arcs, which had separated so completely in season 4, come crashing back together to end the series.

Adora during Save the Cat is such a contrast with the uncertain, hesitant and self-destructive wreck we’ve seen so far in Season 5. This is possibly her craziest plan in 3 years of mostly cazy plans, but she never wavers or questions herself. Even when Chipped Catra appears and we see Adora’s heart break while we watch, Adora doesn’t back down or relent. She keeps at it even as the tears stream down her face. She fights better trying to save Catra without She-Ra’s powers than she fought at the Battle of Bright Moon with them. Catra’s just about as desperate - we see her cry and plead, and now is probably as good a time to any to point out how amazing a job both VAs did throughout the show, but especially in this episode, and how good a job the board artists did. 

Seeing each other for the first time in a year, and only the second time since Catra blew everything up, Catra and Adora are probably the rawest and least restrained we’ve ever seen them. There’s barely any banter, no bravado, and no pretense that they are anything other than two women who desperately need each other (Prime doesn’t help with ‘You broke my heart’.) Then Catra is flung to her death, Adora jumps after her, breaks both her legs in the fall (we see her crawl to Catra, as though she couldn’t walk) and becomes the real She-Ra. It’s such a triumphant and deeply queer moment seeing a woman transformed into a warrior goddess to protect the woman she loves, and it’s the reason that, as dark as it is, Save the Cat is my Comfort Food episode.

Let’s not sleep on Taking Control, though. This episode is like a microcosm of what this show does best, especially the A plot with Catra and Adora. Catra’s reversion to lashing out at everyone and her refusal to be open to Adora shows just how much of a struggle this whole ‘being good and trying to connect to people’ thing is. Catra’s outburst gives Adora a chance to stand up for herself and refuse to be Catra’s punching bag, while also not trying to control her. Adora’s ultimatum gives Catra a chance to reach out to Adora (quite literally), and allow herself to be vulnerable. In this episode, we see just how far Catra and Adora have come since the messed up stew of their relationship in Season 1. Adora lets Catra be responsible for her own actions; Catra lets herself be vulnerable to Adora and takes responsibility for her actions. They’re both better people and better friends and better partners than they were, and the show has shown this in a strikingly nuanced and realistic way. 

The important thing to note in the next few episodes of Season 5 isn’t just how much closer Catra and Adora get to each other and how much they flirt (So much. So much, y’all) but just how -happy- they are. We see both of them transformed in the other’s presence. Basically, since they’ve parted, both Catra and Adora have been defined in no small part by how miserable they often are. They have both had their triumphs and their lighter moments, but there’s been a sense of melancholy dogging both Catra and Adora since episode 1. And now that they’re together again, that lifts, somewhat. Catra’s verbal barbs have lost their venom, and she can openly show how much she cares for Adora and even Bow and Glimmer. She’s still herself - snarky, cynical, somewhat devious - but she’s not engaged in a self-destructive zero-sum struggle with everyone around her. Meanwhile Adora has spent 4 seasons being a neurotic and sometimes nearly joyless mess who takes responsibility for everything and often doesn’t let herself enjoy anything other than the odd BFS group hug (exceptions include trying to uh...impress Huntara and reveling with the butterfly ladies of Elberron in Flutterina).  Around Catra, though, she’s a cocky, swaggering jock who gives as good as she gets. It’s a side of Adora we’ve only seen hints of before, and one that’s so much more confident and joyful even as the world is ending around her. Apart, Catra had tried to protect and vindicate herself with power and conquest, while Adora had tried to forget herself in duty and sacrifice. Together, they can be themselves again. This dynamic is crucial to the show’s portrayal of Catra and Adora’s romance because it doesn’t just show how much they love each other, but how they’re -good- for each other now that they’ve grown as people, and that they are so much better than they were when they were apart.

Until Shadow Weaver shows up. Their old abuser reintroduces tensions but even then things are different than they were. Now Catra isn’t just resentful of how Shadow Weaver prefers Adora - she’s  protective of Adora, which is clearest in Failsafe when she calls Shadow Weaver out for being willing to sacrifice Adora. And while Adora takes the Failsafe, it isn’t to follow her destiny or because she has a death wish - it’s because she loves her friends, and she is the only one who has any hope of doing this and living (though Catra’s suggestion that Shadow Weaver take it is a good one). And finally, when Catra leaves Adora, it isn’t because she hates Adora, nor, despite what she says, is it because she really thinks that Adora chose Shadow Weaver. At least, not exactly. It’s because Catra loves Adora, and can admit that to herself, and can’t stay around and watch the woman she loves sacrifice herself rather than choosing Catra. Before Catra leaves, she asks Adora ‘What do you want?” It’s a question that echoes Shadow Weaver’s speech in Episode 1: ‘isn’t this what you always wanted since you could want anything?’ As much as Adora has grown as a person, and defined herself and stood up for what she thinks is right, she still has never answered that question - it’s never been ‘what do I want’ but ‘what do I have to do?’ and that’s how Adora answers Catra’s question. This is Adora’s last gasp as a self-transcending hero, letting go of what she wants (not that she ever dared articulate what that was) in order to do what must be done. And it nearly kills her and dooms the universe, because Adora can’t be the hero that she needs to be by being anyone less than herself.

But it’s losing Catra that inspires Adora to tell off Shadow Weaver for good (not that she’d ever really warmed to her after season 1). And it’s love for Adora that inspires Catra to stand up to Shadow Weaver and demand that she do the right thing. In both cases, Catra and Adora aren’t just standing up to their abuser, but holding her to account for the harm she’s caused, and it’s the love that they have for each other that inspires them to do this. In Catra’s case in particular her refusal to let Shadow Weaver weasel out of finding Adora is a much greater triumph over Shadow Weaver than beating her up and breaking her mask in Season 1 - it’s proof not so much to Shadow Weaver but to Catra herself that Catra really is better than this and that she deserves better than this. It’s not turning her abuser’s tactics against her, but truly holding her to a moral standard and demanding that she do the right thing.

And then there’s Catra and Adora together at the heart. Catra has already come back for Adora and stayed to the end, choosing to die with her even if she can’t share a life together (not out of some death wish, but because Adora needs her). And Adora, who’s been avoiding answering the question for three fucking years, finally let’s herself want Catra when Catra finally confesses her love (breaking the last of her self-protective shields) and asks Adora to stay -for her-. And by admitting what she wants, Adora can truly be at peace with herself and be the hero she needs to be, lesbianism saves the universe, The End.

So anyway, that’s how Catra and Adora’s stories are woven together and how they compliment and comment on each other. Narrativiely, Adora and Catra start together, come apart, find something of themselves, and truly find themselves and each other when they are reunited. Thematically, they are critiquing seemingly opposing narrative tropes - empowerment narratives and narratives of self sacrifice. But by showing the flaws in both types of story and showing how neither self-seeking empowerment nor self-negating self sacrifice can actually make us happy, She-Ra asks and answers more profound questions than most prestige dramas for adults do. I’ll get into how the show sells the idea that the power of love can bring us happiness (and save the world) in a future post. But next up, I’m going to celebrate just how much Catra and Adora’s relationship revels in ambiguity, complexity and contradiction and so tells a grown up love story in a kid’s show.