#and by the time im reaching my better productive times its time to go to sleep

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I wish the world was built so I could stay up all night!! I miss the days when I worked afternoon-night and could do whatever I wanted in the night and then sleep in the day!! What a miserable lifetime, to wake up at 9am and go to bed at midnight!! AHHH!!!!!!!

[darlinguistics]

'its just IMPOSSIBLE to not be addicted to your phone nowadays its UNREALISTIC-'

heres some advice to being less chronically online. for gen z (and younger??) who dont even know how to start thinking about it and have only heard shitty advice from older adults who just genuinely do not get it, from a fellow gen z and my experiences so far.

*these are personal and may not all 100% resonate but its still good prompting to start thinking about things! PLEASE feel free to add your own stories/advice in the notes! support your fellow humans, dont gatekeep what youve learned, lets have these conversations! and no negativity/pessimism please <3

first thing is to make it a less scary thought, a more concrete idea and not a hypothetical. it doesnt have to be all-or-nothing, cold turkey, a huge announcement and a fundamental shift in your personality. the internet will be in your life for the rest of your life, this is an ongoing relationship you are trying to make healthier thats all! and it takes one step at a time and some self-compassion, but a true effort nonetheless. 'dont you think thats a bit too serious-' if youre my age you quite literally grew up and developed online, it is literally part of your psyche the way your childhood is, it IS serious, you deserve to treat it seriously.

dont save your login info/dont stay logged in for social media accounts, having to manually log in when you want to go on like youre on some elementary school chrome book is a really healthy and clear boundary to have between being logged off and logged on.

-> bigger challenge - uninstall it on your phone in general, only log on on your laptop/pc if applicable for you!

if youre motivated to, try to work on your posture too. i only say that because most of our bad posture is at least partially related to being on our phones a lot, and when i started wanting to fix my posture, completely separately and unrelated from trying to break my phone addiction, it made it easier to lose interest in my phone since i didnt want to ruin my progress with my posture. it made me start to have a mindset like 'well if you cant do this on your phone with good posture then dont do it' and 'if youre on your phone so long your posture starts to cave in, youve probably spent too long on your phone anyway'

listen to music more. its easier for me to kinda write off my phone and do other things if i just open music or a podcast or long youtube video on it. i know we all love long video essays, but i recommend music more specifically for me at least because im less inclined to pause music or scroll while listening to it for some reason? whereas using a show or video or podcast for white noise, im way more likely to also be scrolling on my phone and that is my activity lol. music for some reason i dont want to interrupt and instead of being on my phone i can clean or do something productive on my computer etc

this one is sooo hard but try to fall asleep with some distance between you and your phone, even just a couple feet. mine stays on the desk next to my bed which isnt that far but its better than on bed like it used to be. when you wake up you probably wont feel like reaching for it right away if its far and even better if you have to get up for it because then at least you stand and move your body first thing instead of looking at your phone first thing. and try to get more and more of your morning routine done before touching your phone over time.

-> for me, i started by just trying to at least wake up a bit in bed before touching it, then stand up before touching it, then stand and stretch, then going to the bathroom first, making coffee first, feeding the cat first, etc. its surprisingly helpful to have a specific chore/task in mind that is The requirement so that everytime you do it you get a lil dopamine rush for unlocking your phone from yourself lmao. when the weather was nice i used to make my Requirement being outside first before going on it and i LOVED that. esp as it got easier and i started doing more and more before going on it and finally walking outside with coffee and my phone felt like such a pleasant little reward.

find a hobby that uses your hands. example: i really need to get back into knitting because when i did it regularly so much time that wouldve been on my phone was spent knitting with music/podcasts/shows/(even online lectures! when i felt productive lol) playing. its the same amount of physical relaxing - barely moving lol - but uses a longer attention span and a much better dopamine hit than scrolling, i literally MADE things.

-> you might be thinking, 'but mindless knitting isnt better than mindless scrolling is it?' but that mindless feeling on your phone is just that, mindless. the mindless feeling you get when doing something like knitting is actually closer to a flow state, which is actually incredibly good for you, like a fulfilling nutritious meal as opposed to 'empty calories' or whatever

get a widget for your homescreen that shows your screen time. i have one and of course it doesnt always stop me but seeing that time go up all day the more i use it and the pride of keeping it low is really helpful

practice grounding. in general.

spend more time on anonymous activities and have more privacy and less attachment with your 'persona' - what i mean by that is, i consider things like scrolling through tumblr (for me personally!) to be relatively harmless because i dont try to like,, brand myself here. if youre a tumblr regular you know the jokes - 0 follows, 0 notes, screaming to the void, moots you dont talk to, blorbo pfp and urls, fake names everywhere, and we're having fun! basically targeting the 'everyone is famous now' thing with this one - embrace being a nobody with no personal stakes here

-> personally ive never kept up with having social media accounts that are actually just, me irl - like a facebook or main instagram, like a locals account yknow? but i think it goes for that too - stop spending so much time trying to further personalize your online presence in the hopes of it representing you perfectly - because it never will, and it shouldnt, and you shouldnt aspire for that. your social media presence is lighthearted and incredibly surface-level, treat it like that! thats not me bashing social media either, having that mindset will make it more enjoyable bc youll be using it as it should be used!

do following/followers or camera roll/files or app purges. this is also a soft launch type of way to practice easing into a better mindset. aside from just literally getting rid of junk, the process of trying to judge whether or not you need something is good practice in mindfulness! even if you dont delete everything you feel like you maybe should, thats fine, youll do other purges in the future too. eventually youll get better at parting with things and realizing when things that feel good in a moment are actually bad for you. and it forces you to regularly check in on your more long-lasting parasocial relationships online and how theyre serving you or not

speaking of parasocial - for actual friends, if theyre irl, think about how much you interact with them online vs in person and why you think that is and how it affects you. maybe youll wanna see them more irl if possible (i promise its better for your friendship), maybe youll realize you dont need to keep tabs on them anymore (old high school acquaintances lookin at you). for celebrities and fandom things - try to think about the bare minimum content from them you could do with. you dont have to unstan all your faves and stop enjoying things - but do you need their notifications on? if you have designated fan accounts, are they still a source of joy or of stress? do you need them on all the platforms or just one or two? do you need to have all that saved content of them? are there aspects of this that you love that could be found elsewhere, maybe even offline? (again you dont have to stay one way forever, just encouraging checking in with yourself!)

if youre of the genre of online where you just cant help yourself from getting involved in big discussions or discourse and arguments - i recommend journaling when you get upset by something online, articulating your feelings without the idea of someone ever reading it and without the goal of 'winning' or being the most correct and logical or even the most sympathetic and morally good. take away every audience aspect of it. what is this really about for you, and why would strangers online deserve to hear your personal well-thought out opinions? why would your thoughts deserve to be simplified and misconstrued and underappreciated the way they would be in this discussion? is there even an outcome to this where you feel truly satisfied? are their people who are more worthy of hearing your thoughts who arent part of this audience? is this a conversation that is best held online where so much communicative nuance is inevitably sacrificed?

in the end these are all just practices in remembering how in control you are. and that goes for if any of these are scary or too difficult sounding too! these all become less scary if you remember that as soon as anything becomes too uncomfortable or painful, you have all the power to stop doing it, make a change, and try again later. so much of advice for quitting bad habits can be intimidating because the pressure and the shame that would come from failing scares you out of the possible benefits of trying - just go ahead and kill that shame from the jump. of course youre going to fail! you are going to have setbacks! thats part of it! you have agency in this, always. the internet is not inherently or completely evil nor good. build trust in yourself to make the calls on when it is serving you and when it isnt on a case-by-case basis, and then give yourself permission to learn through trial and error.

and remember you are worth all of this effort. i believe in us <3

[spidermanifested]

okay so. since the other post hasnt gotten any takers and i am still broke im opening up more general commissions as well lol. shoot me a friend request on discord @spidermanifested if youre interested in any of the following:

regular commission fare

flat color headshot ($30): a shoulders-up drawing of any character you want, human or furry or robot or Watever. my specialty is, as always, old people. lineart and flats only.

painted headshot/halfbody ($45): a shoulders-to-torso-up drawing but this time i get to go hog wild with the shading. i like doing this better so youre basically getting swindled that it costs more

flat color full-body ($50): a full-body drawing in a pose of your choice. please feel free to give me some kind of reference for how you want the pose to look. even if its a stick figure. its So much easier that way

painted full-body ($65): a full-body drawing with shading. pose references also greatly appreciated

The Special Stuff

anime screenshot redraw ($30 per character in the shot): i love doing these also. if youve ever had a really good anime screenshot and you wanted an artists more detailed semirealistic rendition of it. even if its just that one of the guy from naruto kicking his leg up and saying "pathetic". especially if its that. i am your man

oc design collab ($10 per day): give me the details on an oc youre having trouble designing, from a description to existing reference material, and ill provide feedback and concept sketches until we settle on something youre happier with. it can be as much as asking me to design them from the ground up or as trivial as "do you think their hairstyle looks dumb"

fma eyecatch ($40): one of the intermission cards where the guy goes Full Metal Alchemist. with your character, matched to the fmab style to the best of my ability, which is preddy good i think

further info

still trying to nail down prices that are fair to me without being impossible to get takers with my limited reach. if youd like to tip me more for my efforts after seeing the final product, it would be much appreciated

extremely detailed designs (such as final fantasy 14 characters) are a 50% markup! aka, cut the price in half, and then add that amount back onto the original. i cannot afford to be drawing one million belts and swords on a single person for the same price as id charge for bart simpson

if you want me to draw naked people or horny stuff thats another 20 bucks on top of whatever the price is. which, yes, for a full body piece Does make it a bargain for you to just ask me to draw your mmorpg character naked instead.

no horny art of characters under 18, period

i dont want to just open up ship commissions point blank because drawing people interacting is so much harder. but if the ship is something i am into as well i MAY be open to it. itd be double as expensive though

im allowed to tell you something is going to be too hard or i dont want to do it for any other reason

i take payment via paypal or cashapp, whatever works better. payment details will be given via discord. please have the money ready upfront and if for whatever reason i cant complete the commission ill refund you. once again thats spidermanifested on discord, or you can dm me on here if you dont have discord but i Vastly prefer it 👍

[90shetfield]

Hairstylist - James Hetfield x F!Y/N

 Y/N a well known hair stylist in the San Francisco area has a busy day ahead of her when James Hetfield walks into her salon unannounced wanting all of his hair chopped off.

Sorry this is a little bit rushed (My fault) I hope you enjoy!! :DD

1996

My usual client holds her head back into the bowl for me to wash it. She comes in regularly and we usually have deep intellectual conversations with each other. A sweet middle aged woman, shell always bring polaroids of her kids to show me. Iscrub shampoo in her hair gently watching for any discomfort or irritation. You would be surprised at how many times I would be soft and precise yet people still complain.

“My daughter, Emily, recently went to a Metallica concert with her friends. She said it was the best night of her life, do you listen to them?” She asked me with a gigantic smile on her face about her daughter attending her first concert.

“Oh Metallica? Yeah i love their music, i'm not a super fan though. They are one of my favorite artists though, something about his voice draws me in” I tell her honestly, washing the bubbly shampoo out of the short ginger bob. I tap her head signaling for her to raise it out of the bowl so I could wrap a towel around.

“It sounds like you have a little crush there missy” She teases me.

“It is not a crush! I just like the way he does things. His voice is included in that, plus it's not like he would even know who i am” I sigh wishing it was true, maybe i might know thee james hetfield later in life but right now i'm single and lonely only being recognized for doing some celebrities hair.

“C’mon don't say that dear, You’ve done big names hair like Nikki Sixx! I wouldn't be surprised if The singer walks into that door one day!” She gets up out of the seat ruffling her hair and declining the towel. “I’ll let it air dry for today, how much do I owe you?” she rummages around in her purse.

“Nah don't worry about it, I'm feeling generous today” She pouts while still handing me a roll of bills. I hand them back to her really not wanting any pay for the service. 

“Stop it right now! I'm not taking that money!” I giggle, shoving it back in her purse.

“But you deserve it hon! The le-”

“Just go before I kick you out!” I joke pushing her to the door. The sounds of our chuckles filled the room. All of the haircare products on a shelf by the desk, across from that are the seating arrangements for customers. To the left of that is the actual stations that me and my assistants use. Today it's just me. It was unusually dry this morning. I get packed to the brim with customers, this day is different though. I'm not complaining, dealing with rude people is something I do every waking moment. It never gets better.

“Alright alright im leaving! Have a good one Y/N!” I respond with a wave cleaning up the hair on the floor.

“Oh sorry sir, I didn't see you there!” her voice fades as I try to focus on the task, making it as neat as possible for the next customer that just arrived. I heard the clacking of what seemed like cowboy boots before stopping bumping into the lady. The doorbell rings telling me that she left and the new customer walked in.

“Hello, welcome to the salon. What can I do for you?” I look up, my eyes widened with shock dropping the broom making a loud boom on the hardwood. My mouth agape looking at the figure in front of me.

“How are you doing today mam? I need a tiny trim” He tilts his cowboy hat revealing the mysterious blue eyes showing off his teeth with a playful grin. The long dirty blonde hair reaching his shoulders in messy wavy curls. The black leather jacket covering his motorhead shirt and his dark washed jeans with black leather belt followed by his signature cowboy boots. I slowly reach down grabbing the broom standing it back up in its position leaned up against the wall. Trying my best to act calm and reserved, I walk up to him giving him a warm and welcome handshake.

“Hello James, it's nice to meet you! Im Y/N the owner” He flashes me another smile taking off his jacket throwing it on one of the chairs in the sitting area

“If I didn't know who you were I wouldn't have come here sweetheart, You're known amongst the music community ill tell ya that” His reserved attitude sparks up. My cheeks flush red at his wavering tone. James Hefield is in my salon right now! I could jump for joy but uh- that would be very embarrassing.

“I'm sorry mr know it all, i guess i'm just going to expect you without an appointment huh? Two can play THAT game  buddy. I'm not going down that easily especially at how stuck up and stubborn he acts. Even after him acting like this my little crush on him is exploding in my heart. I twist a strand of hair around my pointer finger now being the one adoring the playful smirk

“I need an appointment?” He raises his eyebrow not realizing he could just waltz in and get his hair done.

“You said it yourself, i'm a know stylist so my schedule is kind of packed right now”

“But no ones here?” He looks around in confusion wondering why I won't just take him already.

“That's not my problem, you're the one with no appointment!”I cheer sitting on top of my front desk crossing my legs

“I'm sorry i didn't think i would need one”

“Whatever, just sit down in one of the seats. I'll be there in a second” I walk into the backroom “and make sure you have an appointment next time! I'm not taking you on a free whim just cause you're a rockstar!” I yell from the backroom, taking the supplies i need for his hair type.

I walk back into the room, he leans his feet on the counter, the cowboy hat is now where his jacket is on the chair. I see his odd mullet. On anybody else that would look terrifyingly horrible but on James it kind of works? It's not as handsome as him with long hair  back in the 80s but it's pretty.

“So how much do you want trimmed?”I picked up the clippers fully expecting just an inch or two.

“Almost all of it, i want the shortcut in that photo right there” He points to the collage of photos on my wall, showing me the haircut he wants.

“Holy shit, you want all of your hair cut off!?” I stop myself, did I just hear him correctly? He wants all of his long precious hair cut off?

“Yeah, we're going in a different direction with the music, Jason and kirk already chopped it off. I wanted to go to you cause you have really good reviews. I trust you with my hair” He says honestly, giving me a look of sincerity.

“A-are you sure?” I stutter “You really won't ever be able to go back” I lift his hair down a tiny bit, adjusting it for me to really cut off all of his shiny golden locks. I take a piece of his hair in my hand, admiring its beauty. He notices grabbing my hand and pulling me closer to him. We meet eye to eye.

“Your eyes are really unique” He boops my nose and I swat him away.

“Would you make this at least a little enjoyable for me? And don't just grab my hand like that man. I could smell the pancakes you had for breakfast” I mist his hair getting it wet. I grab a brush from the counter, brushing his hair releasing a sigh from him easing into the chair.

“I wasn't lying about your eyes y’know” Hehums the words out

“Huh?” i say not hearing him correctly

“Y/N your eyes are captivating, like i want to stare into them for hours at a time. The color of them draws me in. Their pretty” He looks at me from the mirror.I look up seeing the way he's looking at me. 

“I could say the same about yours but thank you Mr.Hetfield” I take the scissors in my hand approaching them close to his scalp cutting off the long layers that he had grown throughout the years. I focused on the hair but I could still feel his piercing gaze on me not wanting to look away.

“There's no going back now” I say, taking a razor and turning it on, finishing his hair off. I dust the excess off him before taking the cape off he put on himself. I spin him around, he sits in front of me, legs open.

He looks stunning with the short hair.I honestly can't tell if i like his longer hair or him right now better. My crush on him only grows as we eventually reach the end of the appointment

I gave him the mirror so he could see. He runs a hand through his hair, a gigantic grin appears on his face being really happy at the job I did.

“You did amazing Y/N shit!” He pulls me into his lap knowing exactly what he's doing. An arm slithers around my backside holding me against his chest. His hot breath tingled on the nape of my neck.I bit my lip not wanting to get off.

“I'm not the only one to give credit too. The client is just hot in anything you put him in” I tease him grabbing his hair in my fists watching him wince with enjoyment. He kisses the side of my jaw, leaving little ones afterwards. 

I got up off of him despite his protests. I walk behind my desk sitting down on the chair, eyeing him up and down, liking what I'm seeing.

“So sweetheart, how much do I owe you?”

“A phone number that's it” He gives a small chuckle before taking a pad  of paper on my desk and writing his number on it down for me. He takes his cowboy hat and jacket ready to leave, stopping at the door.

“Here you go princess, don't lose it now, I wanna see you with it on the next time we meet” He gives me his cowboy hat, putting it on top of my head for me. He gives me a small peck before walking out of my store with that same expression he did walking in. Only now both of us wear it proudly.

I stare at the figure walking out already picturing when we can meet next.

[wastelandlovingscenarios]

undeniable | porter gage x female! sole survivor

a/n: am i finally back on my bullshit, uploading on a random sunday night? this is different from what i usually write, but hey! im definitely writing something. im too tired to revise or edit this bc its 12 AM, so ill look it over in the morning. just thought i'd post something silly.

♡ based off a modern au where gage and the sole survivor are childhood bestfriends in another life.

For as long as Gage can remember, she’s been a burden. Being nearly five years older than her and her guardian -- or her best friend, as she likes to call him -- he’s always felt inclined to watch over her. He doesn’t know why, he knows he doesn't necessarily need to, but the thought of abandoning her feels wrong. So he tries to find reasons as to why -- was it because they both grew up in terrible conditions together and only had each other? Or was it because he knew the moment he let her dumbass go into the real world alone, she’d somehow get herself killed? 

He shakes his head. Finding a reason was nothing but a waste of time, his mind overworking itself more than it already was. He dumbs it down to simply getting used to the routine of caring for her since they were children. If he fucks up his schedule now, he’d have to go through the trouble of rearranging everything around once again and readjust to his new lifestyle. 

‘Yeah,’ he thinks to himself, unlocking his apartment door, twisting the knob, ‘It’ll be nothing but fucking trouble.’ 

Once he pushes the door open, his boots thumping against the tiled floor of his apartment, he sees her sitting on the couch, distracted by the show playing on the television. His eyes darted over to the coffee table in front of her, papers and open textbooks strewn across the poor thing, obviously untouched and just displayed prettily to mimic the idea that she was being productive. 

With a low grumble, he tosses his bag on the counter nearby and takes off his boots before grabbing the remote lying on the couch. She’s so invested in her little show that she barely even notices him walking in with a scowl and an annoyed sigh. Sole jumps when the television shuts off suddenly, a gasp leaving her lips before turning her head to the side. 

“Hey, I was watching!” she whines, already rising from the couch to pick another fight with him. He doesn’t show any reaction and instead, crosses his arms with an unimpressed expression while he holds the remote hostage. 

She tries her best to grab it from his hand but he rolls his eyes, gently pushing her back down onto the couch. 

“Quit watchin’ and start studyin’. Yer not gonna get shit done like this.” 

She huffs angrily, her eyes narrowing at him, “Gage, a little break wouldn’t hurt every once in a while.” 

“And what have you accomplished since I left for work this afternoon?” 

Sole swallows nervously, her mouth going dry at his questions as she opens and closes it, trying her best to stand her ground. He raises a brow, giving her a chance to respond and redeem herself, but he already knows. She was a fool for thinking she could get away with such a lie, knowing that Gage knew her better than anyone else.

“Thought so,” he stuffed the remote in the back of his pocket, “Now be a good girl and finish yer damn work. I’m not paying yer tuition for you to fuck around.” 

Sole groans but listens obediently, pulling the coffee table closer to her. She grabs her laptop and unlocks it, opening her notes before reaching over to snatch one of her textbooks. 

“I don’t understand why you’re on my ass about my studies so much, Gage,” she complains, highlighting something in her book a bit roughly, “You didn't even finish high school, so why does it even matter?” 

He doesn’t spare her much of an answer, walking over to the kitchen to find something to cook for them, “Exactly my point. You wanna be better than me.”  

“But you make so much money, you’re able to provide for both of us!” she throws her hands in the air, desperately trying to prove a point to her stubborn roommate, who seemed to be firm on his words.

“That’s only because I got connections. Now shut your mouth and study.” 

He doesn’t find much in the fridge nor the cabinets, silently setting a reminder in his mind to do a grocery run first thing tomorrow before work. Eventually, he decides to heat up some leftovers they had for lunch and cut up some fruit for her to snack on while she did her work. It’s shit, he knows, but it’ll do till tomorrow. 

He makes his way back to the living room, plopping on the couch next to her and setting the food on the coffee table, maintaining a good distance between their dinner and her work. The last thing he wanted was to spill anything on her laptop and notes -- it would only give her another reason not to be productive. 

He doesn’t say much, but his eyes flicker over to her for a moment, a small smile on his face at the sight of her seemingly focused on her work now, a sense of satisfaction overcoming him. Gage leans back on the couch, pulling his phone out to distract himself while he kept her company in the living room. He takes a few bites of his portion of the leftovers, glancing at Sole here and there to ensure she was still on track. 

It’s a peaceful few minutes, he can’t recall how long, as they both sit in silence, her music playing softly in the background to fill up the white noise. Suddenly, he hears a sigh, sounding a bit defeated, and his eyes set on her sulking figure. 

“Gage, I know that you want the best for me, but I’m nearly twenty-three and you still treat me like a kid.” he stares at her, not showing any reaction but notices how she refused to make eye contact with him, her eyes glued to the screen of her laptop. 

When she doesn’t get a response, she closes her eyes before turning her body towards him, her expression serious, but he can see right through her. She’s pleading, but not in an annoying bratty way like she usually does, so he decides to listen to her troubles. 

She scoots closer to him and he watches, his phone long forgotten in his hand, “I’m really grateful for you and all that, but you need to trust that I can do well in school and balance my time. You can’t take care of me forever.” 

Instead of getting a response like she’d hope for, she was met with the usual silence he often provided her when she tried to set her boundaries. With an irate expression, she turned back to her laptop, her face flushed in embarrassment, feeling like her words vanished into thin air. 

She should’ve known better than to talk to Gage — he was a man of few words and she didn’t know why she expected him to at least say something to show that he at least cared about her feelings one way or the other.

Before she could continue studying to hide her embarrassment and anger, she hears his voice and freezes. 

“I know.” his voice is gravelly, a bit of exhaustion mixed into it, and her head shoots to him, a bit stunned at his broken silence. Her eyes are wide, body paralyzed at the sudden response. There’s a slight flush on his face but she convinces herself it’s the lighting. 

Definitely. 

He knows she’s waiting for more than just that and he sighs, crossing his arms as he makes eye contact with her the best he can without losing his shit, “Just want you to have a good future. Want you to live a better life than what I’m giving you right now before I send you off.” 

Suddenly, she’s overcome with guilt and she immediately leans over to him, her hands finding his as she cuts him off, “No, that’s not what I meant!”

With another breath, she composes herself before speaking. 

“Gage, you’ve given me everything I’ve wanted and needed, the last thing I’ll ever do is criticize your care for me. I don’t plan on leaving your side, even when I get a better life.” 

His heart twinges and his feelings for her resurface, but he pushes it down. 

She pulls on the sleeves of his hoodie, playing with the fabric with her fingers, “I just want you to trust me more. I know I’ve been slacking a bit, but I’d never fail school, especially when I know you’re working hard to provide for both of us and paying for my tuition. I’d never do that to you.”

“Wouldn’t say I’m working hard,” he downplays it, not wanting her to fret about such a miniscule matter. 

She groans, “You work twelve hour shifts everyday. Sometimes fourteen!”

He shrugs nonchalantly and Sole pouts at his stubbornness, smacking his arm with annoyance. Gage bites back a smirk, amused by her behavior and catches her wrist midair, her eyes rolling. Instead of providing her with a response, he digs in his pocket and hands her the remote to the TV and her eyes light up, a smile forming on her pretty face. His heart aches at the sight. It was such a small action but it was more than enough to validate her feelings. 

“Thank you, you’re the best!” she jumped over, throwing her arms around his neck as she embraced him tightly. 

His face flushed heavily and tried to seem annoyed to cover it up but the stutter in his voice and the tenseness of his shoulders gave it away. Gage pushed her away with his hand as he groaned quietly, “I get it, don’t need to be so damn happy about it.” 

However, she pecked his cheek and he froze instantly, his body paralyzed and his voice raising in embarrassment, “Q-Quit it!”

She giggles and doesn’t take much offense to his words, knowing that he was nothing but a big softie for her. As she released him, she smiled at him happily once more before turning to the TV and putting her show back on. 

Gage rubbed the spot where she kissed, his face a deep red as he tried to regain his composure. Suddenly, he pushes down the real reason of why he refused to leave her side for the millionth time, reminding himself that there were several other possibilities other than that. 

‘What a damn burden,’ he thinks to himself, desperately trying to fight back his feelings for her, his eyes glued to her gleeful form next to him. 

Suddenly, her kiss lingered on his skin a little too long, the feeling of her arms around him marking his skin, and he’s left absolutely horrified, realizing that he could no longer convince himself otherwise. 

Maybe accepting it was better than constantly running and Gage thinks it over for a moment but ultimately shakes his head, wanting to do anything but that. 

‘Just a stupid thought. Some stupid fucking feelings,’ he settles for that answer but knows deep down that he’s already lost the battle, his heart hammering in his chest. 

[qoldenskies]

Omg I just read the entirety of the canary continuity and I love it so much! I was crying so hard by the time I was done with it!

Also, I feel so bad for all the brothers, especially Leo, Raph and Mikey. Not only is their brother hurt, physically and mentally, but they can't even do anything cause it was (unintentionally) their fault. Their relationship has broken, and they can't even fix it, because not only would Donnie think that they are lying about being nice again when they try to help, he can't even see them before having a panic attack, thinking that they are going to hurt him (or worse, kill him).

I can't wait to see what would happen in the future chapters!

hi!!! im so glad you enjoyed!! >:D

honestly ive been rolling around the particular angst with the other three in my head, and i've been excited to dive deeper into them and how they're handling it but i need to get through a particular part of the story before i can properly switch to their povs, but you better bet it'll be happening!!!

its the pain of not being able to show him the kindness and gentleness he deserves after everything that happens to him. despite his fear and initial trepidation, he practically folds into april and splinter when they reach for him, and he panics when he sees them leave, and he uses them as a lifeline when he's scared. already twice now they've talked him down from a spiral of panic and comforted him (although theyve been unable to do it when the others are around, so they always have to make them leave. even when they dont want to!) and it's somewhat established that it's not even normally how donnie responds to trauma. he usually needs a while to sit and process before he can come for comfort, and trying to push him does not work at All, but now more than anything all that he wants and needs is the affection they CANT GIVE HIM because he's utterly terrified of them, even though its ultimately the most important thing for him right now. more than anything donnie wants his brothers to keep him safe, but he thinks they're gone, and he doesn't know when the curse started, or what part of it was how they truly feel and what part of it was the curse speaking; and even if he did, they are a trigger to him and there's nothing he can do about it.

and for raph and mikey in particular, who are so tactile and affectionate (and are just as comforted by affection as the person theyre trying to comfort in most cases) its fucking devastating. with leo with his hidden low self esteem its still awful for him, but he knows what this feels like, he's only acting so different because he can't fall back on his old coping mechanisms; because they're the thing that HURT donnie, because the curse weaponized them, so he's turning to anger (in ME he is intentionally trying to start fights because he wants to be yelled at LOL) and trying to stay productive instead. but raph and mikey generally have always had the impression of themselves that they're Good People (mikey is very confident and he hasn't really been disillusioned at all yet, and raph is someone i see to be very secure in the idea that he's a good person, which can sometimes make taking responsibility/handling guilt difficult for him. although he matures substantially around the time of the movie) so its just. shattering.

mikey never saw himself CAPABLE of doing something this horrible (he's just a kid! sometimes he struggles to see past himself!) and with raph it was a confirmation of his worst insecurity; to some extent he has always seen donnie and mikey as so much more fragile than him (he does canonically understand that donnie is very sensitive/takes rejection super seriously, and he worries about hurting his feelings. ty donnie's gifts for the brains and brawn fuel i use you so liberally), and especially when he was younger he grappled with this fear of hurting them badly on accident (and he probably had in play before), and even with the self-restraint he displayed under the curse, he still caused all this CARNAGE... and there's nothing he can do about it. donnie can't even hear his voice right now without screaming. they both need to comfort in order to feel comforted and that's been ripped away from them, and they're doing so fucking awful. cannot wait to write their povs honestly i have a lot of ideas >:)

[pumpkinsy0]

My skin has been horrific over the last six months. But I visited the dermatologist to try and get it fixed and— I got the products. BUT I can’t eat a lot of sugars like candy and soda cause it could make my skin act up again. 😭

Currently mourning this loss and as such I need headcanons surrounding Sodapop,Curly, and Two-Bit going through this.

omfg my acne used to b baddddd it pissed me off am, characters w acne u have my heart

•curly got acne at a pretty acerage age, two got his a lil late, and soda got his a lil late too, ik he thought the world nerfed him for good😭

•for soda ik he hated the acne so bad he was just willing to give the sweet treats ALL up and i say that bc ik soda would pick at it and so darry had to find a way to get him to stop and said whoever saw him do it could slap his ha d away REALLY really hard, and to give him credit it did, but sodas hand was just always red as a result, the gang ABUSED that rule

•the ointment my dermatologist gave me i had to put it on at night, but its not that i barely put it on but i didnt use it ad much as i rlly shouldve bc i was so lazy, and i knowwww curly wouldve done the same. especially bc oce i went outside not knowing the oitment makes ur face ASHY so i went outside all the way to school w an ashy face and i was so embarrassed im also giving that to curly

•w curly, he would ALSO pick at it and he did try to care for his skin more and angela is rlly good at skin care so shes ESPECIALLY tried to stop him but he wont and now even if he did he would still already have scars, but on the bright side, the sweets thing isnt that hard for him cause in his house theres barely anything sweet. however that also means that when there IS angela is on his ASS

•two bit aint following those rules at ALL he dgaf,most of his diet is sweet treats, its either his body agrees w him or it sticks w him through his bad decisions, “u either go big or u go home” as he says

•pony kissed curly after having REALLY sseet candies and u would think that its ok bc curly didnt eat them himself but nooooooo, curlys body reacted as if he did eat them himself and he broke out bad, he was so annoyed pony cant even touch his face anymore

•pony and steve thinks its soooo funny to wave chocolate in front of sodas face, soda tells pony “just wait till you get acne” and just prays that steve gets his acne worse than he does

•ik curlys pissed bc he genuinely got the worst out of every other siblings like his is pretty bad, they started calling him delivery tim (its cause tim and angela teased that he had a pepperoni face, so everytime he walked i to a room he was “delivering pizza”)

•two bit mighta cracked the code bc he was tease himself about his own acne, he still eats bad, and yknow what, good on him probably, his acne would take THEE longest to go away but it does go away regardless

•there were points where curlys acne just got worse before it got better again, and for those times, he was the angriest person ever and u CANNOT blame him, hes scaring the hoes away w his pimples and atitude💔💔

•two and soda would waste food trying to make face mask they saw in magazines, they thought maybe they can find an alternative to the stuff the dermatologist gave them as a #lifehack but they never did find one that worked as well so darry came home to a mess for 3 weeks straight for NOTHING AT ALL

•darry and pony tried being nice and made sugar free chocolate cake but it tasted so SHIT dawg, that was a one time thing all of the gang had to force themselves to finish it

•if its anyone, two bit totally has bacne and THATS probably the most embarrassing thing for him bc he cant reach alllll of his back so he has to call for a lil help and thats soooo degrading he would rather that go away on its own😭😭

[ourfewremainingfriends]

Aaaaaaa I'm reading American Psycho, and don't get me wrong, it's very well written and hilarious, but every single time PB exhaustively describes what everyone is wearing he sounds exactly like Ebony D'arkness Raven McGothFace or whatever her name was. Anyway this has been done before but fuck it.

Hi my name is Patrick Batemen and i ahve gorgeous, lush hair (because of all the products i use and because im 26 (im 26. Not 30. I am Not 30)) with no streaks (because im not 30. That's disgusting) that reaches the normal and perfect length hair for men. I have A Perfectly Pleasantly Expression and a lot of people tell me I look like the boy next door (AN: because im normal, but also the most specialest little boy in business!). I’m related to women, guess, because theyre hot and im hot but I wish I wasn't because they’re a just empty vessels to make me feel like a god. I’m a businessman and my teeth are so fucking straight and white because if they werent id just kill myself. I have perfectly tanned skin but i dont have a tanning bed, because thats ridiculous. Is it? Should i get a tanning bed? Maybe its not gauche. I’m also a serial killer, and I go to a big boy corporation in America which means im really important, where I’m 26 (I’m Twenty-Six (not thirty)). I’m a Hot White Man with a hardbody (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly [insert five pages of incredibly detailed descriptions of the dullest clothing imaginable]. I love Expensive Dull Clothes and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots (but for businessmen in the 80s). I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow (in a classy way that made me better than everyone) . I was walking outside a fancy restaurant. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very neutral about, because the only emotion i feel is anxiety that not everyone recognises my glory. A lot of women/black people/fags/poor people/insufficiently preppy people stared at me. I put on my walkman at them.

[borzoilover69]

I would like you to elaborate on dirk and Dave's relationship post game! 0u0

I want to make one thing clear. Neither of them are particularly bad people for reacting the way they do. They are products of their environments and their upbringings, and this reflects a LOT in their behaviour. This is my personal interpretation.

I think it starts off generally well. They have enough in common to talk a lot, and so much to catch up on! I’d imagine they chat for quite a while and build up raport.. and then as time goes on, they start to sort of get on each others nerves.

Dirk has a habit of over analysing and trying to get into peoples minds to further understand them. This isnt a bad thing, i think he genuinely does it out of wanting to understand and “vibe” with them better, but it may seem weird and unncessary for others. What with being isolated socially for so long, the alpha kids in general have some strange ways of saying things that seem perfectly normal to them, as well as interpretation, that strike others as off or strange, and dirk is no exception. They arent as handy with social cues.

This is important because well, while Dave is good at running his mouth, he struggles to articulate effectively when he cares. Im sure as we have seen in canon, especially with people he loves, Dirk will probably try to look too deep into it and reach a conclusion that isnt the best. Dirk needs people he cares about to communicate honestly and openly. This is something Dave will struggle to do due to his aforementioned inability to articulate when he cares the most.

Of course I cannot forget mentioning the abuse in the relationship Dave had with his bro. One that on reflection of his childhood later, led to him being incredibly uncomfortable with when he realised the way he was brought up was certainly not normal. It did not help qualm Daves nerves. Especially when Dirk said he could see himself doing that. Dave is compassionate, but he is not entirely forgiving. I feel that while Dirk thinks its best to be aware of this manner, it would just make Dave uncomfortable at the idea of repetition. One which i feel he could not voice.

Diving deeper into personal musings, considering some of the evidence that Dirk coveted Dave for a long time, Given how much we see him covet Dave it has a very high chance of flipping the other way as a natural prince of heart destroying and picking at himself. Dirk has a desire to be useful, a desire to succeed, and his accomplishments fail in the face of daves in both timelines.

Dirk has two people we are established he holds especially dear to him, and that is Dave and Jake. However with that level of attachment and endearment it can become unhealthy. Dave and Jake arent the best when it comes to communication, or establishing the most stable of relationships if canon is to go off of. Without proper care and communication this turns out bad.

I personally feel like as time would go along, the silence between them would grow longer due to the lack of communication of issues between them. Dave would rather skirt them, Dirk would rather bottle them until he eventually explodes. Its that or theyd have a codependent relationship for a while before cutting it all off out of a want to fix things by trying to be there for the other, but facing difficulty in their desires being too different, Dave wanting time to build up raport and slowly close that gap while Dirk just wants to get there as efficiently as possible and missing the point of the picture.

TLDR; If you put a kid through literal isolation for 16 years and give him a meager amount of social situations its going to be very difficult for them to aclimate to someone more accustomed to the ebb and flow of relationships. If you give an abuse victim a younger alternate version of their abuser theyre never going to be ok with it entirely.

Its 3 am ill prolly delete this later

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ignoring someone who might just want to be my friend ?

i (F17) was recently in a college theater production with a guy we'll call S (M20-ish im pretty sure). me and S were partnered as characters who worked together on every scene so we were always in proximity to eachother every weekday for 2 months during rehearsals.

to give some background: S is autistic. someone who knows little about autism would be able to easily pick up on it. i am also autistic but not as "visibly" for lack of a better word and i have a lot of knowledge regarding autism. during rehearsals i noticed that S didn't really slip into conversations with the rest of the actors (nor did the other actors particularly give him the time of day) and sometimes he would sit all alone during breaks instead of with the rest of us. i felt sympathetic towards him as a fellow autistic person who has similar struggles and i wanted to try being inclusive to him. i gave it my best shot and paid attention to him, sat with him, and conversed with him when i felt able to despite my social anxiety. eventually we friended eachother on discord and by the end of the show i thought that was that.

however S became pretty lonely after the show ended and would hit up the actors' group chat a lot asking to hang out and no one including myself would bite. he also messages me on discord and asks me if im planning to go to certain local events or just try to chat with me and i have been either dejected and uninterested or i just completely ignore his messages.

im not sure why im so opposed to even just being polite to him and making small talk. i have been expirencing intense mental health issues lately and i may just be too exhausted to put energy into a new friendship. i also feel like i may not trust him, as his messages asking me if ill show up to certain events and also asking me what college classes im taking next semester (and then saying that he'll try to register for one of the exact classes im in) are a bit uncomfortable. although i have a history of being paranoid that any man i know is going to try to hurt me when im around them plus i suspect he genuinely doesnt understand how he comes across and just wants to hang out with me.

i don't want to lose solidarity with a fellow autistic person because i know painfully well what its like to try to reach out to people you thought you clicked with only to have them seem completely uninterested later. however ive described that i have social anxiety and socializing/maintaining friendships has always been something i struggle with. with the addition of my mental health issues becoming worse and worse, i cant find the energy in me to put in the effort. either way, i dont want to use any of this as an excuse to be rude to S when he seems to want to be my friend.

so, am i the asshole for ignoring him? should i put in more effort to be his friend and meet up with him?

What are these acronyms?

[moonlightcrusader-archive]

Announcement/MOVING ACCOUNTS

Hello peeps, long time no see! Its been a while since ive done anything with this account, heres kind of my explaination for my long haitus 😅

Burnout and depression. I think those two words sum it up the most. College has been so stressful for me, as well as my personal life. I went almost a year not being able to make content and i was just devestated.

Luckily, my friends have been there for me, and also my hyperfixations help too, so its slowly getting better. Im sorry for everyone ive ghosted, i just thought staying away would be a good alternative than reaching out.

I think part of my haitus was the mid life identity crisis i was having/still have. Im an artist, but i barely create because im scared of imperfection. My writing drafts stay writing drafts. Am i even an artist at all? Why do people like my stuff. So yeah...with school almost coming to an end, its hard to find jobs with what you study :// but i know it takes time, so i know im just going through burnout.

Thank you for everyone whos stuck around. Im actually going to be archiving this tumblr- its too cluttered and my special interests are all over the place. I made a new one @moonlightcrusader where ill be more organized, probably have different blogs for my interests on a new master post.

I know there was no excuse just straight up leaving, but i am almost done with school, and hopefully can move out soon. So im hoping things will get better. I will try to answer the rest of my questions/submissions i got accumilated on this account. If its a writing request, i might move it to my new tumblr.

If you want to follow my new account, i still write stories and draw. I DONT plan on stopping because its my literal dreamjob to hopefully find work in animation production and i love doing fanwork/projects. Ill have my social media handles on there; but my fandoms include (just as a heads up)

Spider-Man (yes im still in it) (mostly raimi-verse) Super Mario Bros, Spongebob Squarepants, Undertale, Deltarune, and Thomas the tank engine.

I have a few more fandoms, but i probably wont make blogs for those since they come and go haha. Spiderman, super mario bros and spongebob have been my longest so far.

Anyways, i will close my asks and submissions and not delete this tumblr since i have alot of old artwork and writing im proud of. Thank you everybody and see you on the new tumblr. :))

[ssweeterthanfiction]

i’ve been lopping HMHAS so excuse me for these random blurbs/prompts but

skinny (billie eillish) as an opening track is so fucking reader coded, like especially the first couple lyrics fell in love for the first time/ 21 took a life time to me at least. and the am i acting my age now? bc she probably always felt immature when she was with billy due to their gap. and you said i was your secret/ and you didn’t get to keep it… like woah…..

and blue (billie eillish) is so fucking reader and billy coded jesus. like it cuts so deep… and i just think it’s like her being sad/remorseful. it’s sort of a bittersweet thing bc she’s at the point where she knows billy can’t fix his behavior rn, he doesn’t want to … at least in her eyes he doesn’t. but acknowledges he’s a product of his environment and that hurts her too. he was bound to be broken before he rlly ever had a chance. (this song literally inspired this whole blurb istg you gotta listen to it if u haven’t. like once u listen to it, you will completely understand EVERYTHING bc those lyrics are just … yeah)

imagine the band absorbing all this, bc they watched reader come onto the scene and so they naturally watched her artistically mature… and now they’re just listening to these songs they know are abt billy… like. i can see them either being too stunned to speak while others side eyeing him. billy himself gotta take all this in bc it’s just alot, the production that reader did herself to the lyrics? it makes him feel so many things at once; i’d say proud, in awe but also his heart feels like it’s being crushed. - 🫧

OKOK A LOTTT TO UNPACK HERE

SKINNY- YES 100% THIS IS LITERALLY READER.

so not only do the lyrics that you pointed out relate to her bc she feels immature because of their age gap, BUT the lyric “people say i look happy, just because i got skinny, but the old me is the real me and i think she’s pretty” IS SO READER CODED TOO. like it is implied that she constantly is comparing herself to the girls around the band, and it doesn’t help that billy is all “you should be lucky im with you, i could have my pick of whatever girl i want.” so (this will be shown in the fic too) we see reader go from this priscilla presley inspired look/attitude to more of a 70s rockstar girlfriend look/attitude (drug/alcohol addicted).

the band sees this shift in behavior too, and they fucking HATEEE billy for this. like he took one of the sweetest girls and fucking DESTROYED HER. which goes perfectly into blue

BLUE- RHIS JS LITERALLY BILLY AND READER I CANT ANDJDKEKKSNSME

like LIKE ITS LITERALLY THEM THERES NO BETTER WAY TO PUT IT!!!

like the lyrics “don’t hate you, but we can’t save you” IS SO HER TO BILLY. AND THEN “you were born reaching for your mother’s hands, victim of your father’s plans, to rule the world” IS SO BILLY CODED LIKE UGHHHHHHHH

okay so i’m spoiling my own fic but i don’t CARE

when the band listens to the album for the first time, they’re all in the studio late at night, reader dropped the announcement at 12am over a late night talk show and the next morning the record was up on store shelves, but since the band is, the band, teddy gives them the record before it even hits the shelves.

ANYWAYS without giving away TOO MUCH

the band is like high key vibing to tracks like “love is embarrassing”, “bejeweled”, “feather”, “read your mind”, and “out of the woods”

they GLARE at billy when they hear tracks like

“vampire”, “making the bed”, “logical”, “the grudge” obviously “SKINNY” and “BLUE” ESPECIALLY BLUE LIKE I FEEL LIKE IT WOULD JUST BE SILENCE AS THE SONG PLAYS AND THEY WOULD ALL JUST BE GIVING DEATH GLARES TO BILLY

like, they just are all staring at the record while it plays, because not only is the production amazing, HER VOICE IS SO HEALTHY AND AMAZING TOO, and her lyrics, THE LYRICS. like they would all 100% be on the verge of tears because of it.

and then a very specific song plays, and billy can’t quite put his finger on it, but the drums in the back sound like warren’s style…and the bass sounds like eddie’s…and the backing vocals sound like daisy’s…and the guitar sounds like graham’s and the keys sound like karen’s.

then he looks at the credits on the back of the vinyl…

THEN HE REALIZES THAT THE WHOLE BAND FUCKING RECORDED WITH HER.

HE EXPLODES, EDDIE NEARLY GETS IN A PHYSICAL FIGHT WITH HIM, ITS A MESS

anyways, then the deluxe version releases…and reader should’ve name dropped billy at this point BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.

deluxe tracks are “is it over now?”, “say don’t go”, “now that we don’t talk”, “i wish you would”, and “karma” SO YEA.

[mybatimblog]

my head feels like TV static

tw venting i am overwhelmed this is mostly a stream of consciousness and makes only half sense

i need to spill things somewhere i hope it helps

sirry this is kind of like real life stuff

i do not have anxiety in the diagnostic sense but there is so much in my body right now its going to pour out of my eyes and i'm worried i will drown in it

there is too much going on and not enough sleep to function i can either take my medication be productive and not sleep until four hours before my alarm or allow sleep instead of work

i can only pretend to be someone else for so long to keep my mood up i can only pretend for so long until i run out of fuel and it does not help much to pretend to be "Sammy Lawrence" or "Remus Lupin" or "Bucky barnes" before the character's instabilities actually make it hard to feel better and then i am back and so tired

i can pretend to be one of my own characters but they are pieces of me and it doesn't help much

the dopamine it gives me to spend time with stuff i like doesn't help my brain is moving too fast i feel like im spinning

books and paper and paint are so expensive i didnt get a textbook until yesterday because it took me two weeks to make the decision about whether i should risk a virus and get it for $20 or spend 50 dollars more just to rent it digitally and as for the art supplies i need to buy special paper? and the project is due sooner than id like

and food is so expensive i have food but not REAL food and I cannot eat cereal and popcorn forever but i have dishes to do and its either a drive to the less expensive grocery store or a 20 minute walk to the more expensive one

ive been trying to start a patreon but have no time to make content for the patreon

sunlight never reaches my window and my apartment is very dark but if I open my windows to let light in, people can see me so easily. my plants will die soon. i got a new plant recently as a reward for working so hard this summer and im afraid its going to die and im afraid that if this were a book and some student were reporting on it they'd relate my plant's health to mine and how i may be slowly falling apart

putting the light on helps a lot but not when we pay for electric and i have to think about how expensive it is to exist

i have been trying to pay my water bill for days and watching every drop i use because the other day my tap was on for 4 hours while i was away from home but the water lady has not emailed me back

i make list after list after list and its the same tasks that i still have to do them all

last night i tried to watch Fresh because i started it two days ago and sebastian stan is candy for the brain and i did not finish the movie but i had to pay for my enjoyment because the next day i feel like THIS and it is a punishment for trying to relax

when you look up how to deal with anxiety everything is things i cannot do except for breathe and breathing is not helping its all "sleep better" and "eat better" and "exercise" and "plan a time to worry"

i would like to melt but i have so much work to do

[bittertarot]

honestly i agree about going for money in life cause rich ppl get to do so much but us average folk are like too average to have a lavish lifestyle as theirs. heck id even do music if i had any talent not just for money but the things these groups get to do nowadays versus what life was like before social media came about is a huge difference. sometimes its just a matter of being either too old or not young enough to do something like that nowadays as most music groups seem to sadly be getting younger and younger, i also feel like for those who have actual talent honestly id just go for it but theres always smth like age or different circumatances or perhaps not getting the right opportunities either or being somewhat limited in options. i do think life gets to a point where theres fewer options the older you are as its best to learn from a young age in order to succeed and gain that money. idk these are just my opinions you can disagree if you want.

so many folk fretting about fs and whatnot when they really never tried being single like theres not much responsibility besides whoever else is in your life and again honestly i do not think it matters if we do or dont date an fs. i think people were fretting about jungkooks fs so much lately bc they didnt want to be single or wanted jk for themselves and even if idols do date it would never make their fans happy for their idols which is sad

the fact its even called a dating scandal in korea shows how narrow minded it still is like what do people expect idols to be doing? dating rocks? no one? but i also think there would be some uproar regardless bc of who they are or their title as idols. like they can date a normal non idol but their fans still going to be upset that it isnt themselves. ahh well they cant win :( hence why in a way im glad im not an idols fs lol thered still be many cons or in general consequences. i do think idols are a bit more open minded in terms of other cultures and what they might want in their fs but their fans should accept its just never going to be them

sorry for my rambling and sorry for your loss too hope u feel better soon <3 ^^

Hello! So, I don't remember when I said "going for rich people is a good plan" or whatever but I mean there's points to both sides. To accumulate that wealth you need to be willing to put the hard work in, even if you marry into it. If you're a child of a wealthy family, you need to put in the work to maintain that wealth and legacy. It's a chain of hard work - I personally think you can do anything whether you're old, young, etc. It's just a matter of your mindset and how much work you're willing to put in! These days, it's mainly more about the connections you have and the hard work you put in. Social media can make you famous/popular, but it cannot single-handedly generate millions unless your life goal is to be an influencer doing TikTok dances 5 times a day for a living. I think learning certain skills (e.g. budgeting) are important and can help you establish that wealth earlier on, but you can always teach yourself. I have no prior experience owning a business, but the skills I learned throughout daily tasks over the course of my life have helped me to reach a point where an idea is starting to blossom into an actual product. And I agree, being single gives you more time to work on yourself to allow people to enter your life without the situation feeling forced. You get to become more comfortable with yourself, you make life-long connections/friendships, you develop hobbies, stories to tell your future friends, etc. It's a time to establish yourself and experience personal growth when you're single, not stress over finding a new relationship!! I think each relationship, friendship, etc brings a life lesson alongside it - so it doesn't matter whether that person is the person you intend to marry or not. Just enjoy the present without panicking about the future, that's the best advice I can think to tell everyone as well as my past self <33 It is quite sad, a lot of idols seem lonely. Jackson Wang is a prime example of this, he's expressed this loneliness a lot. Idols have the right to be happy without their "fans" criticising them for wanting a future where they have a family or just aren't dancing on stage anymore. That is quite narrow-minded, I think it'd be better if netizens and delusional international fans took a break from Kpop content for a month and got some hobbies, worked on themselves and enjoyed life for a bit. To an extent, I do pity some idols FS that I read for. They seem very closed off/introverted and would not do well if the relationship were to get leaked to the media, especially if their information is also leaked and they are a non-idol. I just hope they will be alright and fans will be more accepting sooner or later ! Idols ideal types may not always be the kind of people they'll marry - but they do definitely know what they like in a person. Fans do need to accept that the most likely case is that it is not them! However, the industry thrives off of parasocial relationships. It's fine, no worries! This discussion has certainly been interesting, feel free to respond to this via another ask if you would like to. And thank you so much :] <3

[homeofhousechickens]

Hey, I was wondering what separates high-quality birds from low-quality birds? I saw the term on the bantam comparison post, and I get the general idea, but every time I try to search it more specifically, it just gives me raw chicken.

A high quality bird is going to typically be overall a "better" bird then a low quality one and that can be different things for different breeds. For example in America we like our Ayam Cemani to be nice and shiny when in Indonesia they like their black to be dull and "darker" and some breeders actually select birds who have poor feather quality as an aesthetic. In that case those birds would look low quality to us but would be high quality to them. But i can still give my personal opinion on what makes a bird high quality.

A high quality chicken will have these traits

-Closely matches their breed standard or the historic traits of the breed. That means the birds shape, feather color and type, and personality all fit their breed.

-Great health, longer lived and a longer productive life meaning hens lay longer and roosters stay spunky for longer.

-Great feather quality, feathers are correctly shaped for their breed,sturdy, and dont wear down quickly.

- Colors have depth and richness to them. They should be uniform with no interuptions in the feather and patterns and transitions should be clean

-Good personality. The birds should be handable and good mannered even naturally skittish breeds should be worked with to improve that

You get the above with careful selection, breeding the right birds together and sourcing good foundational birds who fit the above criteria. A farm mutt can be high quality if its from good breeding and care in my opinion.

Hatchery quality or Low quality birds are birds typically bred under the idea that quantity is better then quality. Typically these birds will have the opposite traits to those i listed above.

Beeper for example is hatchery quality lets compare her to her breed standard and a bird id consider high quality, the bird on the left is Beeper and the one of the right is a Champion

Here is an illustration of a dark bantam brahma from the America standard of perfection from the 1950s. Keep in mind the hen on the right above could angle her neck like the picture below, her head is just more relaxed.

Here is what the standards want and say is most important, ill pick out the things that pertain to Beeper specifically. Im using the australian open poultry standards for my source.

-The head and crown are most important breed characteristics. Texture of the feathers is also of great importance, for the plumage should be smooth fitting and not loose- feathered and soft as in the Cochin.

-The head is small, rather short, of medium breadth, and with slight prominence over the eyes. Beak short and strong. Eyes large and prominent. Comb triple (or "pea"), small, closely fitting and drooping behind. Face smooth, free from feathers or hairs. Earlobes long and fine, free from feathers. Wattles small, fine, and rounded, free from feathers.

-Comb, Face, Earlobes and Wattles should be bright red.

-The Body should be broad, square, and deep; full breast, with horizontal keel; short back, either flat or slightly hollow between the shoulders, the saddle rising half-way between the hackle and the tail until it reaches the tail coverts ; medium-sized wings with lower line horizontal, free from twisted or slipped feathers, well tucked under the saddle feathers, which should be of ample length; tail of medium length, rising from the line of the saddle and carried nearly upright, the quill feathers well spread, the coverts broad and abundant, well curved, and almost covering the quill feathers

With those standards i have listed and the the comparsions i have shown i want you to make your own judgements (like your a poultry judge) on why Beeper isnt the same quality as the hen on the right.

(Also i want to say sometimes these comparisons hurt peoples feelings for some reason. I love Beeper her not being the best quality doesnt make me love her any less lol)

[uncloseted]

do you have any tips on how to deal with post work need for playtime 😭 i work with kids as a tutor as a full time job while i’m in Uni and i love it but its takes a toll since im constantly interacting and always have to be thinking and present during my sessions that when i come home, i have no energy or desire or motivation to do my own schoolwork or studying. i just lay down and scroll or hang out with my friends bc im so drained of dopamine from work, I want to lock in with uni and the gym but after working all day, i just want to play around or i just want to turn my brain off and scroll and sleep 😭 how i can find more energy and feel less tired/dopamine seeking after work? :)

Anonymous asked:

any tips on how to have more energy? i work and have uni so when i come home all i want to do is rot and have no energy to workout or do hw or even hobbies, i either want to rot or hangout with my friends bc im so dopamine starved or too tired to do productive stuff

Okay so the first thing that I want to say here is you may just be expecting too much of yourself. Being a full-time student plus working full-time is 80 hours of work a week. I think it makes a lot of sense that after that, all you want to do when you get home is to turn your brain off. Plus, there's not a ton of good research on this, but from what I could find, people feel their best when they have around 4-5 hours of downtime per day. If your brain doesn't get the chance to recharge, adding anything extra to your schedule will be really difficult. I say all of this just as something to consider. I know we live in a world where relaxing can feel like we're wasting our time and that we should be productive every hour of the day, but that's just not a sustainable way to live. If you can, it may be worth looking into whether you can reduce the number of hours you're working or reduce the number of classes you're taking to give yourself a little more free time. If that's not possible, try to cut yourself some slack. What you're doing right now is hard, and it's okay if you don't have the bandwidth right now to add more things to your life.

All that said, there are a few things you can try in order to make the most out of the free time you do have. The first thing I would suggest is trying to carve out time throughout your day to do the things you want to do instead of waiting for the end of the day. Maybe when you wake up in the morning, you read a book or journal for 15 minutes and then have a 5 minute exercise routine, so that even if you don't get anything done after work, you've still done something for yourself. Maybe you do squats while you're brushing your teeth or push-ups while you wait for your toast in the morning. Maybe you take five minutes of your lunch break to do deep breathing or a quick meditation practice. Grabbing little moments throughout your day can help you to feel like you're taking care of yourself, and they really do add up over time.

For after work, what I would suggest is starting small. Maybe you tell yourself that you'll do just ten minutes of studying or just fifteen minutes of exercise or just twenty minutes of a hobby before you start scrolling. A lot of the time, when we get over the initial hump of starting a task, it becomes much easier to keep going on it. And even if you don't, ten or fifteen or twenty minutes of doing something every day is better than doing nothing at all. As you start doing things after work, you'll start building up more mental stamina, and it will become easier to do them over time. For these tasks, I would also try to make them as easy to do as possible, and I would try to make scrolling as hard as possible. For example, maybe you make sure that your homework is on the table or your gym shoes are out or that all of the items you need for your hobby are within reach and you block social media apps on your phone for an hour after work.

The last thing I'll say is that when it comes to schoolwork, it may be a good idea to work smarter rather than harder. For example, NotebookLM can take your class notes, readings, and other documents and give you summaries, answer questions for you, and even generate a podcast of your notes to make the content easier and more engaging. Tools like NotebookLM can make it easier for you to study while on the go (like walking/driving to uni and to work), and can shorten the time you need for studying.