#and by nonbinary people everywhere i mean me

[california-112]

- That's why its left up to the self-made freaks like me and The Conundrum. To remind people. - Remind people of what? - Nature abhors normality, it can't go very long without creating a mutant.

The X-Files | S02E20 'Humbug'

[endlessfuckup]

just gotta say the speculation into dans gender is really sad and hurtful to see. it genuinely bothers me that people really saw everything this man (and trans people) had to go thru over the past decade and said

"lets try that again but even worse this time!"

-

i have personally gone thru this kind of invasive speculation; being harassed into publicly answering questions i didn't even get a chance to ask myself.

every outfit. how my hair looked. the way i sit. how i carried myself. what my interests were. my sexuality. what position i prefer in bed. everything. everything was used to prove or dispute any speculation about me.

it was extremely traumatic, painful and scary

i wound up being forcibly outed and put into serious danger over stuff like this.

Please Stop

people can cross dress or be androgynous and still be cis/binary. and that is okay.

[mothbeasts]

unpopular ieytd headcanons? /nm

seeing as I've dedicated myself to being the world's biggest fabricator enjoyer (joke). i think it will be obvious who i'll take the opportunity to talk about :] with some other headcanons thrown in also.

I think a lot of my Fabricator headcanons count as "unpopular" if only because not many people talk about her in general. The first thing that came to mind for me is that I personally headcanon her as trans for no reason other than I'm trans and my favorite characters get hit with my beam attacks. I also think she's not really mean once you get to know her - She's much more relaxed around friends, it's just that she has. One friend total, maybe two if we're being generous with the definition of friend. And I just generally see her as a different kind of "mean" than other people seem to, if that makes sense? She has fun with it, yeah, but she has reasons and such. even if those reasons can be petty. I don't know if she enjoys drama for drama's sake, she's got a reputation to uphold and all. She uses more subtle verbal attacks, sarcasm and such.

Another unpopular headcanon, but for Agent Phoenix this time: My Phoenix is a lesbian. Got them with my beam attack also. I also tend to see them as less... Chaotic? They're cautious, taking their time to figure out the situation. They do still put things in their mouth though. That's important to me.

[genderkoolaid]

the idea some people have that androgynous nonbinary people have any dimension of privilege for being androgynous... like yeah it's really really fun for me how being happier in my body means being constantly recognizably trans. definitely isn't stressful at all being The Tranny Cripple everywhere i go. definitely also doesn't impact my feelings of desirability since my androgyny is not of the Hairless Elven Twink genre.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Poly!plastics x weird kid!reader

Reader is known as the “weird” kid at school hangs with Janis and Damian, super duper quiet, skateboards, has piercings always wearing headphones but somehow is dating the plastics, this is what the whole school is wondering, but in reality, reader is just an average person ain't nothing special about them (well that meets the eye) and somehow has the plastics following them like lost puppies

Idiot, I Said Don't Fall

|| poly!plastics x weird kid!nonbinary!reader

|| Warnings; Regina teasing reader/being a little mean, light swearing, brief mentions of bullying, short drabble

|| Summary; when reader skates in the parking lot, their girlfriends find them. Regina can't resist the urge to be a tease.

Requests open!

Started; November 9th

Finished; November 9th

~~~

Everyone always wondered how you got with the plastics, hell even you wondered. You weren't popular by any means, you fit pretty well into the weird kids category. Hanging out with Janis and Damian. Who were basically your best friends besides your girlfriends. Because nobody else wanted to be with the weird, skater, piercings, quiet kid. Even after you were dating the plastics people stayed away from you. Actually, you were sure they stayed away from you more than before. Specifically because Regina George was one of your girlfriends. And they really didn't want to cross her. At least that stopped the bullying, though. So you didn't really mind. Plus, you still had Janis and Damian.

It was lunch one day and you were out in the parking lot, headphones on and practicing skate tricks. With your absolute favourite board. Honestly, this thing may as well have been your child. It went everywhere with you. To classes, extracurricular activities, you name it it was there. It wasn't hard to move around either, you had one of those school bags with skateboard straps on the front of the bag. So that's where you'd put it.

The plastics have been looking around for you, wondering where you could have gotten. You weren't always the easiest to find. Never really sticking to the same spots. You liked to hang out in new places. Give yourself different sceneries. Eventually they found you in the parking lot, with Regina leading the gang. Arms folded across her chest and eyebrow raised as she watched you whril around on your skateboard.

"Don't fall!" She called out with a smirk, knowing exactly what she was doing. The moment you heard her you were startled out of your trick, completely fumbling and landing on the ground. Skateboard rolling away from you and headphones falling from your head. Regina held back a laugh as she walked over and helped you up," idiot, I said don't fall."

"You jinxed me." You huffed, mumbling quietly. Regina's gotten used to your mumblings, so she knew what you said as she helped you to your feet. While you picked up your headphones. Karen ran after your board. Getting it for you and returning it to your hands, kissing your cheek. "Thanks, Kare.."

Gretchen caught up and brushed her hands on your outfit, cleaning you up a bit. "Are you okay?" She asked and when you nodded, she relaxed and looked at Regina. "That was mean."

"What? All I did was tell them not to fall." Regina played innocent, wrapping a possessive arm around your waist," c'mon, dummy. Let's go get some lunch."

You nodded again, being a person of few words as you followed your girls into the school.

[cinnamon2tyx]

My take on these fours differences. Id say heart hotel but Xion isnt here because i didn't have time and will be busy for a while.. but maybe ill add her later.

EDIT: added xion :3

Personal head canons and individual photos below. (If it aint your cup of tea you can ignore it ^-^)

Cuz someone asked the unlabled flags are AroAce(blue&yellow), bisexual, and pan (I assume people knew them cuz i see them everywhere T-T)

Roxas has a color pallet mixed between sora and ven but he has a few of soras moles and birthmarks...

sora's eyes are more ocean blue, roxas's eyes are more grayish ice blue, and ven is electric blue.

i was strugling wheather or not i give ven green eyes... btu i think sectoral heterochromia is so cool

also not that you can tell the difference but roxas has eye wrinkles from like.. constantly smiling and like squinting when hes happy.. vani has eye bags from suffering to much.

Xion's hair is a teeny tiny bit spikey to reference sora. also she trans obviously but i think with time she realizes shes just trans fem but nonbinary. still uses she/her

also i think roxas is aro ace. he keeps waiting for the feeling of love thats supposed to come from having a heart but never get that spark. he still wants to participate in an intimate "normal" relationship. dont come at me for using normal.. im aro ace. you know what i mean

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Just askin questions

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i'm back from my advissory role in the transs genocide Rowling: Obergruppenführer ssstarmer thought i had sssome real interessting new ideasss Rowling: well, real interessting old ideass actually Rowling: ssome real classsicss

Rowling: now back to busssinessss Rowling: my busssinesss being yelling at the transs on twitter Rowling: and bussssinesss iss good! Helen Joyce: dark lord! dark lord! Joyce: terrible news! Rowling: ssilence! let me do my dark bidding on twitter! Rowling: huh Rowling: it'ss quieter than ussual here

Joyce: the trans! they've fled twitter! Rowling: preposssterosss! they would never! Rowling: how will they get their daily dosse of disscoursse? Rowling: they can't ssurvive without it! Joyce: dark lord, i don't know! Joyce: they must be getting it... Joyce: somewhere else Rowling: imposssible!

Rowling: check everywhere! find them! Rowling: check the threadss about how transgender vs transssexual Joyce: they're not there! Rowling: check the threadss about how nonbinarys people are kaposs! Joyce: they're not there! Rowling: check the warhammer threadss! Joyce: they're not there!

Joyce: you know what this means, dark lord? Joyce: we did it! they've been eradicated! Joyce: not a single trans remains on twitter! Joyce: you'll never have to see or interact with a trans again! Rowling: Joyce: isn't this joyous, dark lord? Rowling: Joyce: isn't this Joyce: uh Joyce: dark lord?

Rowling: confound it! they flee twitter? they don't want to sssuffer my consstant abuses? Rowling: they deny me my ssport? Rowling: really, it's just another example of their inherent missogyny if you think about it

Rowling: wormtongue! wormtongue, come before me! Jesse Singal: yes mommy? Rowling: i charge you with a ssacred task, wormtongue Singal: mommy mommy yes i can do it mommy! Rowling: you must go unto bluessky and bring me some transs Rowling: mother hungersss

[on bluesky] Singal: hello? excuse me? Singal: isn't there anyone here who wants to have a civil debate? Singal: isn't there anyone here who wants to talk like rational adults? Singal: Singal: hello? Singal: Singal: Singal: Singal: isn't there anyone here who wants to answer my questions?

Singal: c'mon! Singal: come one! Singal: i'm just asking questions! Singal: doesn't anyone want to hear my reasonable concerns? Singal: doesn't anyone want to have a polite discussion? Singal: Singal: look i'll give you freaks until the count of three Singal: but then i'm going to talk to a manager!

Singal: c'mon! talk to me! Singal: yell at me! Singal: call me a worm! Singal: you love calling me a worm! Singal: YOU LOVE IT! Singal: please! Singal: [crying] i can't go back to mommy without screencaps! Singal: [crying] mommy needs her screencaps!

Singal: [hitching up belt] ok time to get tough Singal: no more mr nice contrarian! Singal: listen up you freaks and weirdos! Singal: you gross inhuman monsters! Singal: you second class citizens! Singal: you vile disgusting degenerate scum! Singal: Singal: Singal: Singal: i'm the victim here!

Singal: why won't you even hear my reasonable questions? Singal: i've got so many! Singal: i've been asking them for a decade and i come up with more every year! Singal: it's easy when you never intend to find answers

[radykalny-feminizm]

Don't you realize that male and female are social constructs? They're ideas. Scientists don't even believe biological sex is a thing anymore, we're all just people. Gender is almost like religion, it can change, some people are really sure on theirs and others aren't, forcing someone into one is always wrong. Do you know why you're cis? Do you ever think about the possibility that you're not, about what it would be like to be something other then what you were born as. Would you still feel like a woman if you didn't have a womb, if you didn't have breasts or genitals or estrogen? It was a combination of contemplating these things, and mystical experiences with the goddess Hel that got me to realize I was agender. I thought I would lose certain things when becoming nonbinary and genderless, but I didn't. I don't know about you, but know you can be happy as an enby or a boy, you can be loved, and cherished and comforted as an enby or as a boy. I don't know if you're nonbinary like I am. You might find you really do identify with womanhood, but if you do really want to be a woman, then know that that's the same feeling amab women have. I know what it's like to think the way you do, I used to think that way, and I've had bad experiences with men and with the expectations society has for people with bodies like mine. But you don't have to take your pain and call it womanhood.

I'm not cis.

I didn't choose to be a woman.

I don't identify as a woman.

I don't feel like a woman.

I simply am a woman.

And being a woman isn't a social construct or an idea.

Being a woman is a biological reality.

I was born with a female body. That's a fact. It's not something I can change.

Saying that scientists don't believe in biological sex is a blatant lie. I can't believe that it needs to be said, but male and female bodies differ not only on the outside. We get affected by different conditions & illnesses. We have different immune systems. We have different pain levels. We have different hormones & health issues related to them. We respond differently to drugs and their dosages. Not to mention our reproductive systems and everything related to them. Our bodies are far away from being just a concept.

Being a woman in itself doesn't make me happy or unhappy. Just like being white & Polish doesn't make me happy or unhappy. Those are just facts about me.

And being a woman doesn't mean that I have to look or act in a specific way. What is womanhood for you if you think that males can identify with it? Is it about wearing dresses and makeup and acting silly? If a man does that then he's a woman? And if a woman doesn't do that then she's not a woman? It's absurd.

If you claimed that one can identify with a specific race by acting & looking in a specific way, everyone would (rightfully) say that it's offensive. Racial stereotypes are not okay, but gender stereotypes are fine & valid? Both sex and race are in the same category of material reality.

Being a woman doesn't determine who I am as a person. Being a woman is not a personality trait, just as race isn't. I don't have to do certain things so I can call myself a woman. There are no certain things one can do in order to "become" a woman.

But being a woman does shape my position in society and it also shapes yours, whether you like it or not. You can identify as whatever you want. It doesn't change the fact that society sees you as a woman. You can't identify out of oppression. You can't stop identifying with pay gap. You can't stop identifying with your reproductive rights being taken away. You can't stop identifying with the fact that women are being raped and killed by men everywhere, everyday. Women in Afghanistan can't stop identifying with the education ban.

Goddess Hel won't help you once men decide to take your rights away. Identifying as agender won't either. Stop being delusional for your own sake before reality slaps you in the face.

[varlaisvea]

"We have mixed marriages and gay and lesbian characters in abundance throughout the game," Slavicsek tells TheGamer. "It just makes sense to us that all possibilities exist in Tamriel. We treat it as a real and living world. You just might not notice because we don't shout it from the rooftops or put signs proclaiming it everywhere. And you know why? Because in Tamriel, this is just the way the world is. No character in the world blinks an eye or thinks there's anything unusual about meeting the baker and his husband, the serving woman and her wife, or to have Naryu and Jakarn flirt with you, regardless of your character's gender. And that's not even mentioning Alchemy, the three Living Gods of the Tribunal, or the Daedric Princes who can appear as any gender they so desire! It's part of the world and so it's no big deal."

(link) (cw transphobia- article is a response to dorks who are butthurt re: the new nonbinary companion.)

This! This is what made me write ESO fanfic, when I’d never written fic with original characters before.

Because as a nonbinary bisexual ~woman on T? I fucking noticed! I noticed ESO’s Tamriel is a world I could exist in without friction. Where no one cares about your gender presentation or who you’re attracted to—where it doesn’t even occur to anyone to care about it. Where there wouldn’t even need to be pride, or queerness at all, because there is no one thing that’s seen as normal or correct. I love my queerness of course, but ultimately, I want to live in a world where I don’t need it, because the way I am is simply one of infinite ways a person can be.

It also means there is no sexual shame. People aren’t weird about sex or the things they enjoy sexually. There’s nothing strange about polyamorous relationships and nothing kinky about men who like being dominated by women. Sex work is not stigmatized or dangerous. No one feels shame about being horny or wanting sex. Sex is a private thing but it’s also not particularly taboo to discuss. I want to live in a world like that, too.

They don’t say it in the article, but the major reason the world can be this way is that they’ve done a thorough and meticulous job of deleting structural misogyny from existence. And as the quote says, you don’t even notice a lot of the time, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. It makes me feel like a world without patriarchy and gender oppression could exist, and we wouldn’t even miss it.

RPGs are all about making you feel like you fit into the world. I’m tumblr-old; I’ve been playing video games for longer than some of my mutuals have been alive, and ESO’s Tamriel is the first RPG world I have encountered where I could actually feel myself fitting in. This is why I’m really hopeful about TES VI: don’t care where or when the game takes place, or what the Hero Mythology is; if they keep doing this? I’m in.

[transsexula]

Hate seeing people say that Transandrophobia isn't real because, in their words, the "androphobia" isn't something people in real life face.

Now. Maybe this is because when I see this opinion, it's attached to someone who is either transfem, AMAB, or who has only ever lived in incredibly liberal areas.

Meaning: They do not have the life experience to speak on that.

It's simple, I can use myself as an easy example: I grew up on the west side of the US. My extended family and parents were very Christian, very conservative. The community I grew up in was in turn the same- very conservative, very Christian, very fundamentalist. Certain Disney movies were banned from the house for featuring witchcraft, or other "morally reprehensible" things. DISNEY MOVIES.

With this background, I'm sure you can tell where this was headed: I can clearly remember being in the pharmacy with my mother. I was small. I saw a lady with what I now know is a pixie cut- incredibly short hair, bright bold pink. Her girlfriend was there, and her own hair was incredibly butch- like they went to a sports clips and asked for what the guy next to them was getting. I was amazed- I'd never seen a woman that looked like that before. I voiced so with awe and wonder to my mother. I was supposed to get a haircut in an hour. "I want that! She looks so pretty and nice"

Who was visibly disgusted. Grabbing me, yanking me away, muttering "no. You don't want to look like that. Let's go."

Fast forward a few years. I'm too young to be drinking a beer, my uncle has stayed up late. We are watching music videos and sharing interests, when we see a rather masc looking woman in a video. He's disgusted. He makes an offhand joke about how she needs to be reminded of her feminine ways. I know what violations he's implying so vividly. He opens up about his fantasy of hatecriming two butch "women" he saw. I'm too afraid to speak.

There's a debate in church. Should women be allowed to wear above the knee shorts? We really didn't like that they can wear pants. Really, the pastor says in his sermon- it's the woman's job to maintain her feminine nature, in opposition to her husband's masculine nature. These blurring lines aren't good for people.

And- I don't want to get into the people I've known who've been hurt, abused, forcefully feminized, beaten for being masculine- the men that feel entitled to their bodies, because they feel entitled to a say in how they present.

The reason you don't see the abuse for being masculine, is because you come from a world where it's widely accepted in ways that not every culture, not every state or country has.

Gnc women, trans men, transmasc nonbinary people- if you're in the wrong place, born to the wrong family, you may never be safe enough to wear pants. You may not be able to cut your hair. Or be anything less than the perfect, ideal woman.

You get punished for not being what you have been assigned. For the act of defiance against others perception, you can be killed.

So, yeah. There's a lot of androphobia. There's a LOT of fear of the masculine. It just comes out in ways you aren't expecting, as someone who hasn't had to experience it. You don't know what to look for. Where to look. It's everywhere but you can be blind to it if you're insulated enough.

Hell- even terfs are falling into severe androphobia. It's their whole motto. What am I, if not a failed woman to them? Mutilating my perfect feminine form? Being a man is the ultimate crime to these people. Are you really telling me JKRs very public campaign hasn't made life hell for ALL of us? We are all losing healthcare due to this.

[queer-questions-and-polls]

Ok genuinely I've seen too much of this bullshit fighting between fem & masc trans people on my fyp to not talk about it so here we go:

To all trans people:

your experiences are your own. some people are gonna have it worse than others and that has not a lot to do with if your androgens, fem or masc. Stop acting like it does.

Yes their are gender specific trans problems, and yes, we do need our own spaces to talk about and realise each others problems are incredibly real. but that doesn't mean anyone is better than anyone else or that anyone had it harder. We are all in the same fucking boat. Please hold this discussion until we are legally allowed to be alive & be ourselves almost everywhere, because if we just fight each other for this and not join hands to fight for our rights (or even fight to keep the ones we have), we're all dead.

On to another thing:

some people really need to stop idolising all fem alliend people. (As one myself) It's really ignorant and makes you rationalise anything a fem person does so you blame the masc person. Guess what? masculinity (that isn't toxic) actually isn't a big scary moster that wants to hurt you, neither is feminity

(I'm not talking about trans fems. I'm talking about people who present fem. That ranges from trans fems to fem boys and everything in between)

Now to my trans peps who have trauma with masculinity:

It's okay if you inherently think of masculinity as a bad think as a result of trauma, trust me it's okay I'm undoing that thought process at the moment. For a while I forced myself into the nonbinary label because I hated masculinity but feminity didn't feel right or like me. It wasn't good for me.

But please don't take that out on others. I promise you most trans people have had this problem at least once. We know how it feels but we shouldn't have feel bad to make others feel better.

In conclusion:

If you hate people based on gender presentation/gender in general your going to miss out on so many good opportunities & relationships.

We are all just people who have dealt with lots of sides of the gender spectrum and the way your treated in those groups as a newcomer.

But I'm only a silly boyflux person whose not going to pass until top surgery, so i guess ignore me if you want. I know most of you will.

I'm also sorry if I'm coming off as aggressive, that wasn't my intention. I'm just really tired of this.

Found this gem in the transadrophobia tag.

Edit: I'm sorry if I was transadrophobic or transmisognstic in this post at all. I was trying hard to be neutral, because I have an extremely positive experience with feminity and a horrible but slowly healing one with masculinity which is detailed here

[octosan]

I've seen the take that Veilguard's lore handling is the way that it is because it was largely worked on by a team that isn't familiar with Dragon Age, and I... don't know about that.

Like it's kind of funny in retrospect, but

For all the mistakes the Vows and Vengeance podcast made, that show felt more to me like an example of a story trying to incorporate relevant Dragon Age lore, but being written by people who weren't well-versed in it.

They had Tevinter class divide and bureaucratic apathy as a major plot point that affected the main character's life. They had Solas employing middlemen and tricking characters to get some of his work done instead of doing everything himself. They had multiple references to the faiths of the setting, including Davrin referencing worship practices in Dalish culture (they even used the term The Beyond, the Dalish term for the Fade that even Inquisition kind of forgot was a thing even if it was not the Dalish character using it.) They had a cult other than the Venatori as an antagonist at one point. They had an instance of racially charged conflict between Bellara, an elven Veil Jumper, and a Tevinter templar, that originates from the templars looting elven artifacts (something that is implied to happen often.) They at least tried to depict an example of regular Qunari culture in the village in Par Vollen that the protagonists wind up in briefly. They had Lucanis, a Crow, actually carry out an assassination of a non-combatant character. They had multiple demons playing mind games with the characters trying to get their bodies as hosts, in addition to a demon that just rampaged, and even referenced despair demons being ice-coded. They depicted the Fade as a chaotic and emotionally-driven realm, with spirits and demons everywhere--and fittingly Arlathan, a forest with a lot of influence from the Fade, was itself a dangerously chaotic and shifting place. Bellara explains what Veil Jumping entails and actually veil-jumps (and it's accordingly treated like a big deal for the characters). They reference Genitivi and Varric as prominent authors in the world-building. They had grenades. They even brought back the idea of being "Fade touched" with Drayden. They had asfkdksadfgkb HAD A MABARI.

Also the podcast wasn't constantly reassuring you, patting you on the back, and repeating information to you every second so that's nice.

I thought most of the companions came off better here too, with the idea that this is just supposed to be a snapshot of them. I remember enjoying their inclusion the most and trying to speculate what traits and flaws were on display that might get expanded on in the game (for example Emmrich's attitude of trying to "parent" a demon failing spectacularly, or Davrin being depicted as actually taking his clan's faiths seriously despite not being among them anymore.) Taash not realizing they're nonbinary until long after meeting Drayden, who had their own personal issues with their family about their identity, feels like some kind of missed opportunity though (I mean realistically the podcast was just supposed to advertise the game so I know why this is, but still.)

idk if this is a hot take. like imo the podcast wasn't "good" good and again there were clear mistakes in the lore, a lot of the stuff set in Antiva for example, like it was messy. But I had more of a sense that these were people new to the setting but trying than I did with Veilguard.

Idk to me the problem was less that the writers in Veilguard didn't know anything about Dragon Age and more that it was an extremely sanitized and simplified version of the lore, one that couldn't even take into account the world-changing decisions you made in previous games. With a helping of things being shoved under the rug to avoid Discourse. Like it felt more intentional to me, for the most part. And then you have all the visual errors that come from just reusing assets which is an RPG staple at this point (someone pointed out that the Chantry symbols in Minrathous are wrong, for example.)

[womenaremypriority]

You can call me whatever you want I don’t care but I’m going to continue feeling upset and dehumanized that so many GNC and lesbian/bi young women are now identifying as nonbinary or using she/they pronouns or whatever. It’s literally everywhere. And you can say anything you want about me “making it about myself” but in my experience it’s about running from your womanhood. It’s from this new cultural idea that somehow just being a woman isn’t enough. And yeah I’m gonna be upset that people are calling womanhood a cage as if the fact I’m comfortable staying in it means I’m lesser or deserve to be oppressed. I’m going to be upset if any sapphic artist I find uses they/them pronouns or whatever. I’m gonna be upset if a GNC celebrity says “I’m not a woman, just a person”. Like this isn’t progressive or transgressive anyway, you’re not making humanity more colorful, you’re making womanhood less so. You can be a woman, just a woman, and still be interesting, still be a full human being. And yeah I think that’s what’s driving most younger women to identify this way! In many cases especially for transgender men it’s sincere dysphoria but women are just running from their womanhood and thinking women isn’t good enough for them, that they’re too big and wellrounded for that. It’s not escaping oppression nor is it going into some new oppression, you’re just further dehumanizing women by saying people who are ‘just women’ aren’t cool or interesting enough now, or don’t feel human, or are fine performing femininity.

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Gameboy

Billy Hargrove x NonBinary!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You didn't think the day could get any worse than this, but apparently you were wrong. tired from work, you came home and had to endure the shouting of your boyfriend and his little sister Maxine. Billy was going too far and you had enough.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: +18 MDNI!! angst, blurb, very bad language, argue, broke-up, sigarettes, threats, intimidation, use of Y/N, no prounons NonBinary!Reader, theme about sex, theme about violence, anger issue, daddy issue, toxic relationship, bad ending. (Please be careful what you are about to read, the themes here are quite heavy and with a bad ending. If you don't feel like it, don't read, thanks)

𝐀/𝐍: My first Billy Hargrove One-Shot. I have to say that he's a character i dont have much interest to be honest, but if you want me to do more one-shots about Billy let me know! Please support new writers and reblog! Im sorry for my english, this is not my native language. Hope you enjoy! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

Fuck, fuck and fuck! You thought in your head when you wanted to scream. You had just left the bar where you worked and you could tell you had had a rough day. Your boss didn't stop tormenting you, by now you seriously thought he was mad at you. But that doesn't mean you stopped trying, moving forward and taking criticism and then improving yourself, but despite this the people around you seem bad every day.

You didn't have to think about it. Absolutely not! Now you would have gone to your boyfriend's house and he will surely console you, tell you that everything will be fine–wait...no. Absolutely not. You haven't done these things for almost two months because of your full-time job and the constant evenings where Billy went out, obviously not caring that you needed him. You tried to talk to him a couple of times to find out if something was wrong but he only answered "I'm fine, we're fine, why are you asking me?" You seriously started to think if you were the crazy one or if tiredness was playing a bad joke on you. Billy seemed calm and sees nothing wrong with your relationship. You didn't say anything. You knew the issues Billy was going through with his father lately, so you let it go and once again agreed with him, and blamed it on the stress.

You got to his door before you even knocked and Billy opened it angrily, which scared you. As soon as he noticed you he took a breath and gave you a simple "Hi" before letting you inside. It often happened that you went to sleep at your boyfriend's house, especially when his father wasn't there. As soon as you entered you felt a certain tension in the air and saw Billy take his jacket from the coat rack. You were about to ask something but the boy with golden curls beat you to it "Leave Max alone, that little bitch won't come out of her fucking room until I say so" With that I left the house slamming the door.

Right from him. He doesn't even tell you where he's going or with whom.

Apparently he had argued with Maxine, his younger sister. You completely ignored what Billy said to you and went to Max's door. You could clearly hear that she was crying and that hurts you. Since you met Max she has always seen you as a second parent: kind, helpful, affectionate and above all loving. You were happy to have this relationship with her and when she happened to argue with her brother, you couldn't help but go and console her or try to resolve the situation. Before knocking you looked around, the house was a real mess, or rather a disaster, all of Billy's things scattered everywhere, starting with: weights, ashtrays, porn magazines and gameboys. Shit...

You still don't understand how you managed to fall in love with an imbecile like him. So handsome with those curls and shining face but also so arrogant, messy and not very polite. You gently knocked on the door “Max, it's me Y/N, can I come in?” You heard the little girl sniff and she agreed. You opened the door and found Maxine in tears and her face completely red from the outburst. Her pillow was wet while her cleres were a shade of red from crying. She was lying on the bed and as soon as she saw you, her breath seemed to come back. You sat next to her while you used your fingers to fix some strands of her red hair.

"Maxine...what happened?" You said almost whispering. It took her a while to answer you but in the end she did "Dad...a little while ago he was here and he was arguing with Billy," she began "I didn't know what they were arguing about but then he started hitting him.. ." Her tone was shaky as she tried to collect herself "Did Dad hit Billy?" You asked and she nodded “Yes, the asshole” okay, you got the point. “I stopped him but after mom and the asshole left, Billy started yelling at me” you raised an eyebrow “Why on earth?” The question of when might be obvious seemed difficult for Max to answer. “I don't know for sure, he just told me that I shouldn't meddle in his business” you hugged her and she immediately hugged you back.

“I'll talk to him, I promise” You said and Max looked up immediately. "No Y/N, don't do it. He's too angry and I don't want him to be angry at you too" you smiled at his sweet thought towards you. Max was now like a little sister or a daughter to protect for you, you wouldn't have let Maxine spend the evening locked in her room even though she hadn't done anything "Don't worry about me, I can handle your brother" Oh well, knowing how to handle Billy Hargrove was a big word, but that didn't stop you from consoling Max and preparing her some snacks to stop her crying.

You laughed and joked and Max had finally regained her smile and as if you were a good parent you put a blanket over her while you turned off the light, leaving Max to sleep peacefully. After at least fifteen minutes, Billy came home with a bottle of beer in his hand, you snorted at the sight. You had been waiting for him all evening and you would have at least hoped that for once he wouldn't come back drunk although he seemed quite sober.

"Where have you been?" You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest. He looked at you with a face that got on your nerves, he was bored.

"I asked you, where have you been" You repeated and he made a small moan and then replied "Outside for some fresh air" You didn't want to ask why he was drunk, you had gotten used to it by now so you let it go. Meanwhile he had thrown his jacket on the sofa.

"Why did you and Maxine argue?" Billy turned to look at you. He sat comfortably on the living room sofa bare-chested while he was ready to light his cigarette which he held between his lips. "Where's Max?" He asked "In her room to sleep after you made her cry" his face didn't change a bit, he was serious and definitely bored "Y/N, I specifically told you to leave Max alone, she was supposed to stay in her room " you nodded "In fact, she stayed in the room, but I kept her company" He let out a laugh and then looked back at your figure "You shouldn't have interacted with her" you shook your head "I'm sorry Billy, but I don't stay at your rules" at that statement he took the cigarette out of his mouth "I just want to know why you picked on her, you know I don't like seeing you or your sister like this"

"It's none of your business. What happens here is none of your business Y/N" you were shocked "Excuse me? You're my boyfriend, what happens to you is a fact that until proven otherwise concerns me too" You took a few steps closer towards the sofa. Billy giggled again and you were sure that the next one he would make would drive you mad "And let's hear, why on earth?" You gave an obvious look "Um, hello? We're engaged Billy, engaged!" You timed the last word well "Oh right, I forgot" he said it in a sarcastic way and now your nerves were getting frayed "Oh, I'm sorry this is weighing on you Billy" you too played the sarcasm card and he rolled his eyes "What the fuck Y/N! Now I have to tell you everything I do?" You nodded quickly "Yes, you piss me off that I have to tell you where I'm going, with who and why otherwise you'll ban me from going out" You almost screamed but then lowered your voice remembering Max in the other room.

Billy had lit his cigarette in the meantime "But that has nothing to do with it -" you stopped him while your blood was boiling "It certainly has something to do with it William!" Your eyes were different, they were like Billy had never seen them and when you used his real name he understood that you were seriously pissed. Billy hates being called by his real name and you knew it very well, you did it on purpose. You wanted him to understand how serious you were and how tired you were of the current situation.

“How dare you call me?” Even though he was drunk, Billy was high and his eyes were fixed on you as they gave you a horrible feeling. They wanted to intimidate you, but you weren't like that and he knew it from the first moment he met you. Even if you were afraid that he would knock your teeth out and then make you spill all your blood until you apologized, but you were brave and you wouldn't let yourself be bossed around.

You pointed your finger at him "Oh no! Don't try to make that angry dick face because I'm the angry one, you understand?" He was surprised by your arrogant response "Things have been going on like this for two months and I can't stand it anymore. You barely look at me, all you do is go out in the evening and you don't even tell me where you're going, but you do it when you're too drunk to drive and I have to pick you up" You started and he looked like he was listening intently "And this happens every Friday night Billy. I come home from work tired and destroyed by those filthy pieces of shit and instead being close to me all you do is complain" He snorted and now gave you a different look. He put the cigarette in the ashtray, even though he hadn't smoked it at all. He seemed calm and approached you smiling lovingly... was it the alcohol by any chance? Or maybe bipolar?

"Okay honey, you're right. I'm sorry, now how about we go relax over there–" you pushed him. You were disappointed. His response disgusted you more than expected "No Billy. You won't play your fucking game on me telling me I'm right when in reality you just want to take me to bed and fuck me the way you like it" his face was back and angry more than first "But apparently the other times you didn't hesitate to open your legs for me" it was cheeky and disgusting and you slapped him. You had become a burning fire and you were sure that you would burn him and his house down "Because I was blinded by a filthy imbecile asshole like you. I thought you loved me..." You felt the burning in your eyes as your eyes became shiny. You were too weak to face the truth but you needed it...as much as you loved that boy with all your heart, he would never love you "Oh so now it's me not loving you?" He said dramatically and the tears came out and this time you screamed "Billy, you never console me and only seek me out when you feel like having sex with me. What did you take me for? A toy? I'm your fucking gameboy by any chance?" He tried to answer but couldn't find the right words and blurted out "Shut your mouth" your nervous system was out of control and you raised your voice again "Not this time Billy! Not after I've opened and closed it as you please!"

Now you didn't care who could hear you or who you would disturb. You were tired. You didn't want this. You wanted a serious relationship with a serious person. You wanted someone who values ​​you and takes care of you when you need it, always available and who doesn't see you as a sex toy giving you false illusions. "Calm down, young lady! Show respect" you looked at him and in front of you you had another person. Not Billy Hargrove, but William Hargrove...the real him. Despite everything he was that and you were sorry for ruining yourself by being around him. You didn't think he would ever threaten you, an attitude you hated and hoped your boyfriend wouldn't attribute to "Wow...now you're threatening me?" Billy later realized what he said and didn't reply "Congratulations Billy Hargorve. You ruined my life. You made fun of me and took advantage of me and used me to please your cock when it got hard and needy. But worse…you became your father” you never thought you would say it, but you did. With that sentence you knew you would unleash his anger and you didn't give him time to react "It's over." You announced and then headed towards the door and exited the house as he yelled after you in anger. You didn't want to hear it or deal with it ever again. You had endured enough and it was time to end it.

You had ended a year-long relationship and you now ask yourself in tears as you walked quickly to your house as you had done. You didn't know that obviously. You will never understand, you loved him, what did you need to know or realize? As beautiful and magical as love could be, it was also blind and cruel. It seemed to be a difficult game where the only possibility of victory was to survive until the game itself got tired of testing you, and then it throws a truth in your face that you would rather ignore. But ultimately it was better to suffer for the truth than to live in something that didn't exist.

Now you needed to get up and continue to live your life but you weren't motivated to move forward and live like you did before working, especially now that the only person you loved was just a liar who loved playing with people's feelings and what's more he preferred masturbating to porn magazines than spending sweet moments with you. Would you have suffered? Yes. And you don't know for how long, but you hoped for little since you couldn't cry and dry up your tears for someone who never deserved you and who the only thing he ever worshiped was your body.

[rjalker]

>:(

if anyone tell you pap smears don't hurt they're a gods damned liar

next time I'm going to ask them to just give me fucking laughing gas or something.

Edit two days later:

For the fucking record to ward off jackass, this post is being made by a nonbinary trans person. My pronouns are it/its. Any TERFs or other transmisics who touch this post will be fucking vaporized.

For a damn preface, for those unaware, a pap smear is a procedure done on people with vaginas to test for cervical cancer or other health problems. It involves sticking a medical device into the vagina and using it to widen the walls of the vagina so the doctor can stick a tiny brush into the cervix to collect cells for testing.

And if you try to look up whether or not this procedure can hurt, every where you look will tell you it doesn’t.

And I'm still fucking infuriated by this. Because it’s a fucking lie. Everywhere I looked beforehand said it wouldn't hurt, I might just feel some pressure. Every single fucking website and blog post and video said "It won't hurt! It doesn't hurt!"

Even now when I am specifically trying to find other people talking about how it hurts, 99% of the results are saying it doesn't hurt, and if it does, it's just because you're nervous and anxious and causing yourself problems.

Except every where I fucking looked told me it wouldn't hurt. The doctor said it wouldn't hurt. My fucking mom said it wouldn't hurt.

I was not tense. I was not anxious. I was told it wouldn't hurt and I believed all the people who'd said so.

And then it felt like having a knife shoved inside my body.

And I was told to just do some fucking breathing exorcises and relax.

Even though I'd been fucking relaxed until it started hurting, because everyone fucking old me it was painless, just mildly uncomfortable.

And I am not talking about pain like "a little pinch", I mean fucking pain like being stabbed with a needle or having a knife twisted inside you. And it just got worse the longer it went on. They had to fucking stop early and might not have even been able to collect the fucking cells they were supposed to be testing.

And when this was finally over the doctor told me that the only reason it hurt was because my hymen was intact (So what about all the fucking shit going around for years about how that breaks for everyone in fucking gym class???? More fucking lies!!), as though that had anything to do with the pain inside.

And now every fucking thing I try to look up for reasons why it can hurt is literally just fucking repeating the same shit about how it doesn’t hurt, and if it does, it’s only because you were nervous and anxious and embarassed and all the fucking things I WASN’T. BECAUSE I WAS TOLD IT WOULDN’T HURT.

Every where I fucking look, I’m told that these things don’t hurt, and it’s just anxiety, and blah fuckity blah.

For fuck’s sake, this is real fucking medical gaslighting going on on a fucking absurd level.

These fucking websites and videos and blog posts and articles may as well just fucking call my hysterical at this point for all they fucking give a shit about people who are hurt by this procedure.

Everyone’s too fucking busy insisting that it doesn’t hurt and you have to get one and if you avoid getting one then you’re a bad person and you’re going to get cancer and die.

I’ve literally found exactly one (1) article talking about how it does hurt for some people, but that this gets constantly brushed under the rug and shouted down, and how this is a fucking problem. One fucking short article out of almost a hundred that I checked.

If you are so hellbent on getting people to get pap smears that you will literally fucking lie about the fact that not only can it hurt, it can hurt extremely, then you are not fucking helping anyone! If no one’s allowed to fucking talk about how painful this procedure is, no one can actually fucking give informed consent, because all of society is apparently too damn busy lying and saying it doesn’t hurt!!!!!!

This is blatant fucking medical misogyny and medical gaslighting everywhere you look and I’d have to be fucking knocked unconcious or given fucking laughing gas before I ever agree to do that again.

There’s even a fucking tiktok someone put on youtube where the original person was talking about offering anesthesia for pap smears, and then a fucking gynecologist comes in to say that’s stupid and useless and absurd and pretends that the only reason it can hurt is because people aren’t relaxed enough.

This is literal fucking society-wide misogynistic lying and gaslighting and it is pure fucking evil.

So pro fucking tip, for people who need to get pap smears: It can in fact hurt. Do not fucking let anyone tell you that you’re imagining it or you’re immature or you’re causing it yourself by being anxious. Do not fucking let them gaslight you and victim blame.

Pap smears can hurt, a lot, and anyone who tells you they don’t or can’t is just straight up fucking lying to your face.

So does this fucking mean I have endometriosis? Vaginismus? Some other fucking horrible thing I haven't heard of yet??? I don't fucking know! And it's gonna take three weeks to fucking find out the test results, assuming they even got to collect any of the gods damned cells in the first place!

Either fucking way, the fact that no one is allowed to talk about how this procedure can be excruciatingly painful because everyone else is just shouting at the top of their lungs that it doesn't hurt and you need to be a Big Girl™ and stop being embarrassed and go get one is fucking evil and I am fucking enraged.

(Edit again for the anon: Yes, you can reblog this, I am not embarrassed, more people need to talk about this so people can at least have some fucking warning. Feel free to copy and paste to other sites too.)

[tammog]

I am so deeply, deeply tired of "FLINTA" spaces here in Germany.

The acronym stands for "Frauen, Lesben, Inter, Nicht-Binär, Trans, Asexuell" or "Women, Lesbians, Intersexual, Nonbinaries, Trans and Asexual People".

Which, lets open up this fucking can of worms.

Practically, the people allowed in this group are supposed to be.... basically everyone that is not a cis man.

Cis women are more than welcome, they often like formed those groups before they designated themselves as FLINTA.

Cis men are excluded with varying reasons - safety, it being a "feminine" space, etc.

Trans men are included because... I don't fucking know? And this is not me disliking trans men. This is me disliking the idea that trans men are categorically different enough from cis men to belong in spaces "men" are not welcome in, but every feminine person (supposedly) is.

As an aside, this apparently started because the sorts of groups that wanted the snazzy, faux-progressive acronym DID include trans men (including closeted or not-yet-aware trans men), and then did not want to kick those out when they made their group girls only but open. Which is theoretically fine, but.... maybe re-evaluate why you want it to be "girls only", what you mean when you say "girls only", and why those men that you SAY accept are men are still supposed to come there.

Lastly in my personal experience as a non passing trans woman I have been more or less directly told that I do not belong there in multiple of these groups. Which isn't surprising if you look at the terfy undercurrent described above, the conscious-or-not disbelief that trans men aren't really* men, of course they would also be bigoted against trans women.... but it still fucking hurts.

Anyway I hate the latent transphobia in cis spaces here and everywhere. This need to be seen as progressive more than to actually challenge your prejudices and your ways of thinking and seeing if they may be fucking wrong. When I speak up about it irl I get excuses and "but it's a decent acronym" (when this rant should show quite a few reasons why it isn't).

Also, why're you making a queer space for everyone but cis men? There's intersex cis men, gay cis men, all sorts of cis men? Are they that separate from trans men to you? Do you maybe thing trans men are men lite? Wtf is your issue?

I laugh at the idea of androphobia/trans androphobia (if you call this transandrophobia I would ask you to tell me why the trans men are still allowed in while trans women are often not), but this pervasive treatment of trans men as "not actually men" sucks about as much as the treatment I get of being "not actually a woman".