#and by nonbinary people everywhere i mean me

[california-112]

- That's why its left up to the self-made freaks like me and The Conundrum. To remind people. - Remind people of what? - Nature abhors normality, it can't go very long without creating a mutant.

The X-Files | S02E20 'Humbug'

[endlessfuckup]

just gotta say the speculation into dans gender is really sad and hurtful to see. it genuinely bothers me that people really saw everything this man (and trans people) had to go thru over the past decade and said

"lets try that again but even worse this time!"

-

i have personally gone thru this kind of invasive speculation; being harassed into publicly answering questions i didn't even get a chance to ask myself.

every outfit. how my hair looked. the way i sit. how i carried myself. what my interests were. my sexuality. what position i prefer in bed. everything. everything was used to prove or dispute any speculation about me.

it was extremely traumatic, painful and scary

i wound up being forcibly outed and put into serious danger over stuff like this.

Please Stop

people can cross dress or be androgynous and still be cis/binary. and that is okay.

[mothbeasts]

unpopular ieytd headcanons? /nm

seeing as I've dedicated myself to being the world's biggest fabricator enjoyer (joke). i think it will be obvious who i'll take the opportunity to talk about :] with some other headcanons thrown in also.

I think a lot of my Fabricator headcanons count as "unpopular" if only because not many people talk about her in general. The first thing that came to mind for me is that I personally headcanon her as trans for no reason other than I'm trans and my favorite characters get hit with my beam attacks. I also think she's not really mean once you get to know her - She's much more relaxed around friends, it's just that she has. One friend total, maybe two if we're being generous with the definition of friend. And I just generally see her as a different kind of "mean" than other people seem to, if that makes sense? She has fun with it, yeah, but she has reasons and such. even if those reasons can be petty. I don't know if she enjoys drama for drama's sake, she's got a reputation to uphold and all. She uses more subtle verbal attacks, sarcasm and such.

Another unpopular headcanon, but for Agent Phoenix this time: My Phoenix is a lesbian. Got them with my beam attack also. I also tend to see them as less... Chaotic? They're cautious, taking their time to figure out the situation. They do still put things in their mouth though. That's important to me.

[genderkoolaid]

the idea some people have that androgynous nonbinary people have any dimension of privilege for being androgynous... like yeah it's really really fun for me how being happier in my body means being constantly recognizably trans. definitely isn't stressful at all being The Tranny Cripple everywhere i go. definitely also doesn't impact my feelings of desirability since my androgyny is not of the Hairless Elven Twink genre.

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Poly!plastics x weird kid!reader

Reader is known as the “weird” kid at school hangs with Janis and Damian, super duper quiet, skateboards, has piercings always wearing headphones but somehow is dating the plastics, this is what the whole school is wondering, but in reality, reader is just an average person ain't nothing special about them (well that meets the eye) and somehow has the plastics following them like lost puppies

Idiot, I Said Don't Fall

|| poly!plastics x weird kid!nonbinary!reader

|| Warnings; Regina teasing reader/being a little mean, light swearing, brief mentions of bullying, short drabble

|| Summary; when reader skates in the parking lot, their girlfriends find them. Regina can't resist the urge to be a tease.

Requests open!

Started; November 9th

Finished; November 9th

~~~

Everyone always wondered how you got with the plastics, hell even you wondered. You weren't popular by any means, you fit pretty well into the weird kids category. Hanging out with Janis and Damian. Who were basically your best friends besides your girlfriends. Because nobody else wanted to be with the weird, skater, piercings, quiet kid. Even after you were dating the plastics people stayed away from you. Actually, you were sure they stayed away from you more than before. Specifically because Regina George was one of your girlfriends. And they really didn't want to cross her. At least that stopped the bullying, though. So you didn't really mind. Plus, you still had Janis and Damian.

It was lunch one day and you were out in the parking lot, headphones on and practicing skate tricks. With your absolute favourite board. Honestly, this thing may as well have been your child. It went everywhere with you. To classes, extracurricular activities, you name it it was there. It wasn't hard to move around either, you had one of those school bags with skateboard straps on the front of the bag. So that's where you'd put it.

The plastics have been looking around for you, wondering where you could have gotten. You weren't always the easiest to find. Never really sticking to the same spots. You liked to hang out in new places. Give yourself different sceneries. Eventually they found you in the parking lot, with Regina leading the gang. Arms folded across her chest and eyebrow raised as she watched you whril around on your skateboard.

"Don't fall!" She called out with a smirk, knowing exactly what she was doing. The moment you heard her you were startled out of your trick, completely fumbling and landing on the ground. Skateboard rolling away from you and headphones falling from your head. Regina held back a laugh as she walked over and helped you up," idiot, I said don't fall."

"You jinxed me." You huffed, mumbling quietly. Regina's gotten used to your mumblings, so she knew what you said as she helped you to your feet. While you picked up your headphones. Karen ran after your board. Getting it for you and returning it to your hands, kissing your cheek. "Thanks, Kare.."

Gretchen caught up and brushed her hands on your outfit, cleaning you up a bit. "Are you okay?" She asked and when you nodded, she relaxed and looked at Regina. "That was mean."

"What? All I did was tell them not to fall." Regina played innocent, wrapping a possessive arm around your waist," c'mon, dummy. Let's go get some lunch."

You nodded again, being a person of few words as you followed your girls into the school.

[cinnamon2tyx]

My take on these fours differences. Id say heart hotel but Xion isnt here because i didn't have time and will be busy for a while.. but maybe ill add her later.

EDIT: added xion :3

Personal head canons and individual photos below. (If it aint your cup of tea you can ignore it ^-^)

Cuz someone asked the unlabled flags are AroAce(blue&yellow), bisexual, and pan (I assume people knew them cuz i see them everywhere T-T)

Roxas has a color pallet mixed between sora and ven but he has a few of soras moles and birthmarks...

sora's eyes are more ocean blue, roxas's eyes are more grayish ice blue, and ven is electric blue.

i was strugling wheather or not i give ven green eyes... btu i think sectoral heterochromia is so cool

also not that you can tell the difference but roxas has eye wrinkles from like.. constantly smiling and like squinting when hes happy.. vani has eye bags from suffering to much.

Xion's hair is a teeny tiny bit spikey to reference sora. also she trans obviously but i think with time she realizes shes just trans fem but nonbinary. still uses she/her

also i think roxas is aro ace. he keeps waiting for the feeling of love thats supposed to come from having a heart but never get that spark. he still wants to participate in an intimate "normal" relationship. dont come at me for using normal.. im aro ace. you know what i mean

[transsexula]

Hate seeing people say that Transandrophobia isn't real because, in their words, the "androphobia" isn't something people in real life face.

Now. Maybe this is because when I see this opinion, it's attached to someone who is either transfem, AMAB, or who has only ever lived in incredibly liberal areas.

Meaning: They do not have the life experience to speak on that.

It's simple, I can use myself as an easy example: I grew up on the west side of the US. My extended family and parents were very Christian, very conservative. The community I grew up in was in turn the same- very conservative, very Christian, very fundamentalist. Certain Disney movies were banned from the house for featuring witchcraft, or other "morally reprehensible" things. DISNEY MOVIES.

With this background, I'm sure you can tell where this was headed: I can clearly remember being in the pharmacy with my mother. I was small. I saw a lady with what I now know is a pixie cut- incredibly short hair, bright bold pink. Her girlfriend was there, and her own hair was incredibly butch- like they went to a sports clips and asked for what the guy next to them was getting. I was amazed- I'd never seen a woman that looked like that before. I voiced so with awe and wonder to my mother. I was supposed to get a haircut in an hour. "I want that! She looks so pretty and nice"

Who was visibly disgusted. Grabbing me, yanking me away, muttering "no. You don't want to look like that. Let's go."

Fast forward a few years. I'm too young to be drinking a beer, my uncle has stayed up late. We are watching music videos and sharing interests, when we see a rather masc looking woman in a video. He's disgusted. He makes an offhand joke about how she needs to be reminded of her feminine ways. I know what violations he's implying so vividly. He opens up about his fantasy of hatecriming two butch "women" he saw. I'm too afraid to speak.

There's a debate in church. Should women be allowed to wear above the knee shorts? We really didn't like that they can wear pants. Really, the pastor says in his sermon- it's the woman's job to maintain her feminine nature, in opposition to her husband's masculine nature. These blurring lines aren't good for people.

And- I don't want to get into the people I've known who've been hurt, abused, forcefully feminized, beaten for being masculine- the men that feel entitled to their bodies, because they feel entitled to a say in how they present.

The reason you don't see the abuse for being masculine, is because you come from a world where it's widely accepted in ways that not every culture, not every state or country has.

Gnc women, trans men, transmasc nonbinary people- if you're in the wrong place, born to the wrong family, you may never be safe enough to wear pants. You may not be able to cut your hair. Or be anything less than the perfect, ideal woman.

You get punished for not being what you have been assigned. For the act of defiance against others perception, you can be killed.

So, yeah. There's a lot of androphobia. There's a LOT of fear of the masculine. It just comes out in ways you aren't expecting, as someone who hasn't had to experience it. You don't know what to look for. Where to look. It's everywhere but you can be blind to it if you're insulated enough.

Hell- even terfs are falling into severe androphobia. It's their whole motto. What am I, if not a failed woman to them? Mutilating my perfect feminine form? Being a man is the ultimate crime to these people. Are you really telling me JKRs very public campaign hasn't made life hell for ALL of us? We are all losing healthcare due to this.

[queer-questions-and-polls]

Ok genuinely I've seen too much of this bullshit fighting between fem & masc trans people on my fyp to not talk about it so here we go:

To all trans people:

your experiences are your own. some people are gonna have it worse than others and that has not a lot to do with if your androgens, fem or masc. Stop acting like it does.

Yes their are gender specific trans problems, and yes, we do need our own spaces to talk about and realise each others problems are incredibly real. but that doesn't mean anyone is better than anyone else or that anyone had it harder. We are all in the same fucking boat. Please hold this discussion until we are legally allowed to be alive & be ourselves almost everywhere, because if we just fight each other for this and not join hands to fight for our rights (or even fight to keep the ones we have), we're all dead.

On to another thing:

some people really need to stop idolising all fem alliend people. (As one myself) It's really ignorant and makes you rationalise anything a fem person does so you blame the masc person. Guess what? masculinity (that isn't toxic) actually isn't a big scary moster that wants to hurt you, neither is feminity

(I'm not talking about trans fems. I'm talking about people who present fem. That ranges from trans fems to fem boys and everything in between)

Now to my trans peps who have trauma with masculinity:

It's okay if you inherently think of masculinity as a bad think as a result of trauma, trust me it's okay I'm undoing that thought process at the moment. For a while I forced myself into the nonbinary label because I hated masculinity but feminity didn't feel right or like me. It wasn't good for me.

But please don't take that out on others. I promise you most trans people have had this problem at least once. We know how it feels but we shouldn't have feel bad to make others feel better.

In conclusion:

If you hate people based on gender presentation/gender in general your going to miss out on so many good opportunities & relationships.

We are all just people who have dealt with lots of sides of the gender spectrum and the way your treated in those groups as a newcomer.

But I'm only a silly boyflux person whose not going to pass until top surgery, so i guess ignore me if you want. I know most of you will.

I'm also sorry if I'm coming off as aggressive, that wasn't my intention. I'm just really tired of this.

Found this gem in the transadrophobia tag.

Edit: I'm sorry if I was transadrophobic or transmisognstic in this post at all. I was trying hard to be neutral, because I have an extremely positive experience with feminity and a horrible but slowly healing one with masculinity which is detailed here

[varlaisvea]

"We have mixed marriages and gay and lesbian characters in abundance throughout the game," Slavicsek tells TheGamer. "It just makes sense to us that all possibilities exist in Tamriel. We treat it as a real and living world. You just might not notice because we don't shout it from the rooftops or put signs proclaiming it everywhere. And you know why? Because in Tamriel, this is just the way the world is. No character in the world blinks an eye or thinks there's anything unusual about meeting the baker and his husband, the serving woman and her wife, or to have Naryu and Jakarn flirt with you, regardless of your character's gender. And that's not even mentioning Alchemy, the three Living Gods of the Tribunal, or the Daedric Princes who can appear as any gender they so desire! It's part of the world and so it's no big deal."

(link) (cw transphobia- article is a response to dorks who are butthurt re: the new nonbinary companion.)

This! This is what made me write ESO fanfic, when I’d never written fic with original characters before.

Because as a nonbinary bisexual ~woman on T? I fucking noticed! I noticed ESO’s Tamriel is a world I could exist in without friction. Where no one cares about your gender presentation or who you’re attracted to—where it doesn’t even occur to anyone to care about it. Where there wouldn’t even need to be pride, or queerness at all, because there is no one thing that’s seen as normal or correct. I love my queerness of course, but ultimately, I want to live in a world where I don’t need it, because the way I am is simply one of infinite ways a person can be.

It also means there is no sexual shame. People aren’t weird about sex or the things they enjoy sexually. There’s nothing strange about polyamorous relationships and nothing kinky about men who like being dominated by women. Sex work is not stigmatized or dangerous. No one feels shame about being horny or wanting sex. Sex is a private thing but it’s also not particularly taboo to discuss. I want to live in a world like that, too.

They don’t say it in the article, but the major reason the world can be this way is that they’ve done a thorough and meticulous job of deleting structural misogyny from existence. And as the quote says, you don’t even notice a lot of the time, but once you see it, you can’t unsee it. It makes me feel like a world without patriarchy and gender oppression could exist, and we wouldn’t even miss it.

RPGs are all about making you feel like you fit into the world. I’m tumblr-old; I’ve been playing video games for longer than some of my mutuals have been alive, and ESO’s Tamriel is the first RPG world I have encountered where I could actually feel myself fitting in. This is why I’m really hopeful about TES VI: don’t care where or when the game takes place, or what the Hero Mythology is; if they keep doing this? I’m in.

[womenaremypriority]

You can call me whatever you want I don’t care but I’m going to continue feeling upset and dehumanized that so many GNC and lesbian/bi young women are now identifying as nonbinary or using she/they pronouns or whatever. It’s literally everywhere. And you can say anything you want about me “making it about myself” but in my experience it’s about running from your womanhood. It’s from this new cultural idea that somehow just being a woman isn’t enough. And yeah I’m gonna be upset that people are calling womanhood a cage as if the fact I’m comfortable staying in it means I’m lesser or deserve to be oppressed. I’m going to be upset if any sapphic artist I find uses they/them pronouns or whatever. I’m gonna be upset if a GNC celebrity says “I’m not a woman, just a person”. Like this isn’t progressive or transgressive anyway, you’re not making humanity more colorful, you’re making womanhood less so. You can be a woman, just a woman, and still be interesting, still be a full human being. And yeah I think that’s what’s driving most younger women to identify this way! In many cases especially for transgender men it’s sincere dysphoria but women are just running from their womanhood and thinking women isn’t good enough for them, that they’re too big and wellrounded for that. It’s not escaping oppression nor is it going into some new oppression, you’re just further dehumanizing women by saying people who are ‘just women’ aren’t cool or interesting enough now, or don’t feel human, or are fine performing femininity.

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

Gameboy

Billy Hargrove x NonBinary!Reader

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: You didn't think the day could get any worse than this, but apparently you were wrong. tired from work, you came home and had to endure the shouting of your boyfriend and his little sister Maxine. Billy was going too far and you had enough.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: +18 MDNI!! angst, blurb, very bad language, argue, broke-up, sigarettes, threats, intimidation, use of Y/N, no prounons NonBinary!Reader, theme about sex, theme about violence, anger issue, daddy issue, toxic relationship, bad ending. (Please be careful what you are about to read, the themes here are quite heavy and with a bad ending. If you don't feel like it, don't read, thanks)

𝐀/𝐍: My first Billy Hargrove One-Shot. I have to say that he's a character i dont have much interest to be honest, but if you want me to do more one-shots about Billy let me know! Please support new writers and reblog! Im sorry for my english, this is not my native language. Hope you enjoy! (DIVIDER NOT MINE)

Fuck, fuck and fuck! You thought in your head when you wanted to scream. You had just left the bar where you worked and you could tell you had had a rough day. Your boss didn't stop tormenting you, by now you seriously thought he was mad at you. But that doesn't mean you stopped trying, moving forward and taking criticism and then improving yourself, but despite this the people around you seem bad every day.

You didn't have to think about it. Absolutely not! Now you would have gone to your boyfriend's house and he will surely console you, tell you that everything will be fine–wait...no. Absolutely not. You haven't done these things for almost two months because of your full-time job and the constant evenings where Billy went out, obviously not caring that you needed him. You tried to talk to him a couple of times to find out if something was wrong but he only answered "I'm fine, we're fine, why are you asking me?" You seriously started to think if you were the crazy one or if tiredness was playing a bad joke on you. Billy seemed calm and sees nothing wrong with your relationship. You didn't say anything. You knew the issues Billy was going through with his father lately, so you let it go and once again agreed with him, and blamed it on the stress.

You got to his door before you even knocked and Billy opened it angrily, which scared you. As soon as he noticed you he took a breath and gave you a simple "Hi" before letting you inside. It often happened that you went to sleep at your boyfriend's house, especially when his father wasn't there. As soon as you entered you felt a certain tension in the air and saw Billy take his jacket from the coat rack. You were about to ask something but the boy with golden curls beat you to it "Leave Max alone, that little bitch won't come out of her fucking room until I say so" With that I left the house slamming the door.

Right from him. He doesn't even tell you where he's going or with whom.

Apparently he had argued with Maxine, his younger sister. You completely ignored what Billy said to you and went to Max's door. You could clearly hear that she was crying and that hurts you. Since you met Max she has always seen you as a second parent: kind, helpful, affectionate and above all loving. You were happy to have this relationship with her and when she happened to argue with her brother, you couldn't help but go and console her or try to resolve the situation. Before knocking you looked around, the house was a real mess, or rather a disaster, all of Billy's things scattered everywhere, starting with: weights, ashtrays, porn magazines and gameboys. Shit...

You still don't understand how you managed to fall in love with an imbecile like him. So handsome with those curls and shining face but also so arrogant, messy and not very polite. You gently knocked on the door “Max, it's me Y/N, can I come in?” You heard the little girl sniff and she agreed. You opened the door and found Maxine in tears and her face completely red from the outburst. Her pillow was wet while her cleres were a shade of red from crying. She was lying on the bed and as soon as she saw you, her breath seemed to come back. You sat next to her while you used your fingers to fix some strands of her red hair.

"Maxine...what happened?" You said almost whispering. It took her a while to answer you but in the end she did "Dad...a little while ago he was here and he was arguing with Billy," she began "I didn't know what they were arguing about but then he started hitting him.. ." Her tone was shaky as she tried to collect herself "Did Dad hit Billy?" You asked and she nodded “Yes, the asshole” okay, you got the point. “I stopped him but after mom and the asshole left, Billy started yelling at me” you raised an eyebrow “Why on earth?” The question of when might be obvious seemed difficult for Max to answer. “I don't know for sure, he just told me that I shouldn't meddle in his business” you hugged her and she immediately hugged you back.

“I'll talk to him, I promise” You said and Max looked up immediately. "No Y/N, don't do it. He's too angry and I don't want him to be angry at you too" you smiled at his sweet thought towards you. Max was now like a little sister or a daughter to protect for you, you wouldn't have let Maxine spend the evening locked in her room even though she hadn't done anything "Don't worry about me, I can handle your brother" Oh well, knowing how to handle Billy Hargrove was a big word, but that didn't stop you from consoling Max and preparing her some snacks to stop her crying.

You laughed and joked and Max had finally regained her smile and as if you were a good parent you put a blanket over her while you turned off the light, leaving Max to sleep peacefully. After at least fifteen minutes, Billy came home with a bottle of beer in his hand, you snorted at the sight. You had been waiting for him all evening and you would have at least hoped that for once he wouldn't come back drunk although he seemed quite sober.

"Where have you been?" You asked as you crossed your arms over your chest. He looked at you with a face that got on your nerves, he was bored.

"I asked you, where have you been" You repeated and he made a small moan and then replied "Outside for some fresh air" You didn't want to ask why he was drunk, you had gotten used to it by now so you let it go. Meanwhile he had thrown his jacket on the sofa.

"Why did you and Maxine argue?" Billy turned to look at you. He sat comfortably on the living room sofa bare-chested while he was ready to light his cigarette which he held between his lips. "Where's Max?" He asked "In her room to sleep after you made her cry" his face didn't change a bit, he was serious and definitely bored "Y/N, I specifically told you to leave Max alone, she was supposed to stay in her room " you nodded "In fact, she stayed in the room, but I kept her company" He let out a laugh and then looked back at your figure "You shouldn't have interacted with her" you shook your head "I'm sorry Billy, but I don't stay at your rules" at that statement he took the cigarette out of his mouth "I just want to know why you picked on her, you know I don't like seeing you or your sister like this"

"It's none of your business. What happens here is none of your business Y/N" you were shocked "Excuse me? You're my boyfriend, what happens to you is a fact that until proven otherwise concerns me too" You took a few steps closer towards the sofa. Billy giggled again and you were sure that the next one he would make would drive you mad "And let's hear, why on earth?" You gave an obvious look "Um, hello? We're engaged Billy, engaged!" You timed the last word well "Oh right, I forgot" he said it in a sarcastic way and now your nerves were getting frayed "Oh, I'm sorry this is weighing on you Billy" you too played the sarcasm card and he rolled his eyes "What the fuck Y/N! Now I have to tell you everything I do?" You nodded quickly "Yes, you piss me off that I have to tell you where I'm going, with who and why otherwise you'll ban me from going out" You almost screamed but then lowered your voice remembering Max in the other room.

Billy had lit his cigarette in the meantime "But that has nothing to do with it -" you stopped him while your blood was boiling "It certainly has something to do with it William!" Your eyes were different, they were like Billy had never seen them and when you used his real name he understood that you were seriously pissed. Billy hates being called by his real name and you knew it very well, you did it on purpose. You wanted him to understand how serious you were and how tired you were of the current situation.

“How dare you call me?” Even though he was drunk, Billy was high and his eyes were fixed on you as they gave you a horrible feeling. They wanted to intimidate you, but you weren't like that and he knew it from the first moment he met you. Even if you were afraid that he would knock your teeth out and then make you spill all your blood until you apologized, but you were brave and you wouldn't let yourself be bossed around.

You pointed your finger at him "Oh no! Don't try to make that angry dick face because I'm the angry one, you understand?" He was surprised by your arrogant response "Things have been going on like this for two months and I can't stand it anymore. You barely look at me, all you do is go out in the evening and you don't even tell me where you're going, but you do it when you're too drunk to drive and I have to pick you up" You started and he looked like he was listening intently "And this happens every Friday night Billy. I come home from work tired and destroyed by those filthy pieces of shit and instead being close to me all you do is complain" He snorted and now gave you a different look. He put the cigarette in the ashtray, even though he hadn't smoked it at all. He seemed calm and approached you smiling lovingly... was it the alcohol by any chance? Or maybe bipolar?

"Okay honey, you're right. I'm sorry, now how about we go relax over there–" you pushed him. You were disappointed. His response disgusted you more than expected "No Billy. You won't play your fucking game on me telling me I'm right when in reality you just want to take me to bed and fuck me the way you like it" his face was back and angry more than first "But apparently the other times you didn't hesitate to open your legs for me" it was cheeky and disgusting and you slapped him. You had become a burning fire and you were sure that you would burn him and his house down "Because I was blinded by a filthy imbecile asshole like you. I thought you loved me..." You felt the burning in your eyes as your eyes became shiny. You were too weak to face the truth but you needed it...as much as you loved that boy with all your heart, he would never love you "Oh so now it's me not loving you?" He said dramatically and the tears came out and this time you screamed "Billy, you never console me and only seek me out when you feel like having sex with me. What did you take me for? A toy? I'm your fucking gameboy by any chance?" He tried to answer but couldn't find the right words and blurted out "Shut your mouth" your nervous system was out of control and you raised your voice again "Not this time Billy! Not after I've opened and closed it as you please!"

Now you didn't care who could hear you or who you would disturb. You were tired. You didn't want this. You wanted a serious relationship with a serious person. You wanted someone who values ​​you and takes care of you when you need it, always available and who doesn't see you as a sex toy giving you false illusions. "Calm down, young lady! Show respect" you looked at him and in front of you you had another person. Not Billy Hargrove, but William Hargrove...the real him. Despite everything he was that and you were sorry for ruining yourself by being around him. You didn't think he would ever threaten you, an attitude you hated and hoped your boyfriend wouldn't attribute to "Wow...now you're threatening me?" Billy later realized what he said and didn't reply "Congratulations Billy Hargorve. You ruined my life. You made fun of me and took advantage of me and used me to please your cock when it got hard and needy. But worse…you became your father” you never thought you would say it, but you did. With that sentence you knew you would unleash his anger and you didn't give him time to react "It's over." You announced and then headed towards the door and exited the house as he yelled after you in anger. You didn't want to hear it or deal with it ever again. You had endured enough and it was time to end it.

You had ended a year-long relationship and you now ask yourself in tears as you walked quickly to your house as you had done. You didn't know that obviously. You will never understand, you loved him, what did you need to know or realize? As beautiful and magical as love could be, it was also blind and cruel. It seemed to be a difficult game where the only possibility of victory was to survive until the game itself got tired of testing you, and then it throws a truth in your face that you would rather ignore. But ultimately it was better to suffer for the truth than to live in something that didn't exist.

Now you needed to get up and continue to live your life but you weren't motivated to move forward and live like you did before working, especially now that the only person you loved was just a liar who loved playing with people's feelings and what's more he preferred masturbating to porn magazines than spending sweet moments with you. Would you have suffered? Yes. And you don't know for how long, but you hoped for little since you couldn't cry and dry up your tears for someone who never deserved you and who the only thing he ever worshiped was your body.

[rjalker]

>:(

if anyone tell you pap smears don't hurt they're a gods damned liar

next time I'm going to ask them to just give me fucking laughing gas or something.

Edit two days later:

For the fucking record to ward off jackass, this post is being made by a nonbinary trans person. My pronouns are it/its. Any TERFs or other transmisics who touch this post will be fucking vaporized.

For a damn preface, for those unaware, a pap smear is a procedure done on people with vaginas to test for cervical cancer or other health problems. It involves sticking a medical device into the vagina and using it to widen the walls of the vagina so the doctor can stick a tiny brush into the cervix to collect cells for testing.

And if you try to look up whether or not this procedure can hurt, every where you look will tell you it doesn’t.

And I'm still fucking infuriated by this. Because it’s a fucking lie. Everywhere I looked beforehand said it wouldn't hurt, I might just feel some pressure. Every single fucking website and blog post and video said "It won't hurt! It doesn't hurt!"

Even now when I am specifically trying to find other people talking about how it hurts, 99% of the results are saying it doesn't hurt, and if it does, it's just because you're nervous and anxious and causing yourself problems.

Except every where I fucking looked told me it wouldn't hurt. The doctor said it wouldn't hurt. My fucking mom said it wouldn't hurt.

I was not tense. I was not anxious. I was told it wouldn't hurt and I believed all the people who'd said so.

And then it felt like having a knife shoved inside my body.

And I was told to just do some fucking breathing exorcises and relax.

Even though I'd been fucking relaxed until it started hurting, because everyone fucking old me it was painless, just mildly uncomfortable.

And I am not talking about pain like "a little pinch", I mean fucking pain like being stabbed with a needle or having a knife twisted inside you. And it just got worse the longer it went on. They had to fucking stop early and might not have even been able to collect the fucking cells they were supposed to be testing.

And when this was finally over the doctor told me that the only reason it hurt was because my hymen was intact (So what about all the fucking shit going around for years about how that breaks for everyone in fucking gym class???? More fucking lies!!), as though that had anything to do with the pain inside.

And now every fucking thing I try to look up for reasons why it can hurt is literally just fucking repeating the same shit about how it doesn’t hurt, and if it does, it’s only because you were nervous and anxious and embarassed and all the fucking things I WASN’T. BECAUSE I WAS TOLD IT WOULDN’T HURT.

Every where I fucking look, I’m told that these things don’t hurt, and it’s just anxiety, and blah fuckity blah.

For fuck’s sake, this is real fucking medical gaslighting going on on a fucking absurd level.

These fucking websites and videos and blog posts and articles may as well just fucking call my hysterical at this point for all they fucking give a shit about people who are hurt by this procedure.

Everyone’s too fucking busy insisting that it doesn’t hurt and you have to get one and if you avoid getting one then you’re a bad person and you’re going to get cancer and die.

I’ve literally found exactly one (1) article talking about how it does hurt for some people, but that this gets constantly brushed under the rug and shouted down, and how this is a fucking problem. One fucking short article out of almost a hundred that I checked.

If you are so hellbent on getting people to get pap smears that you will literally fucking lie about the fact that not only can it hurt, it can hurt extremely, then you are not fucking helping anyone! If no one’s allowed to fucking talk about how painful this procedure is, no one can actually fucking give informed consent, because all of society is apparently too damn busy lying and saying it doesn’t hurt!!!!!!

This is blatant fucking medical misogyny and medical gaslighting everywhere you look and I’d have to be fucking knocked unconcious or given fucking laughing gas before I ever agree to do that again.

There’s even a fucking tiktok someone put on youtube where the original person was talking about offering anesthesia for pap smears, and then a fucking gynecologist comes in to say that’s stupid and useless and absurd and pretends that the only reason it can hurt is because people aren’t relaxed enough.

This is literal fucking society-wide misogynistic lying and gaslighting and it is pure fucking evil.

So pro fucking tip, for people who need to get pap smears: It can in fact hurt. Do not fucking let anyone tell you that you’re imagining it or you’re immature or you’re causing it yourself by being anxious. Do not fucking let them gaslight you and victim blame.

Pap smears can hurt, a lot, and anyone who tells you they don’t or can’t is just straight up fucking lying to your face.

So does this fucking mean I have endometriosis? Vaginismus? Some other fucking horrible thing I haven't heard of yet??? I don't fucking know! And it's gonna take three weeks to fucking find out the test results, assuming they even got to collect any of the gods damned cells in the first place!

Either fucking way, the fact that no one is allowed to talk about how this procedure can be excruciatingly painful because everyone else is just shouting at the top of their lungs that it doesn't hurt and you need to be a Big Girl™ and stop being embarrassed and go get one is fucking evil and I am fucking enraged.

(Edit again for the anon: Yes, you can reblog this, I am not embarrassed, more people need to talk about this so people can at least have some fucking warning. Feel free to copy and paste to other sites too.)

[boreal-sea]

People calling me a "gender defender just like the patriarchy is" is fucking hilarious.

"Gender" the way I use it is so, so far from its original definition. It is the word I'm using to mean "personal identity".

I'm here for the people who don't want a gender at ALL, who want to define their personal identity WITHOUT that word. I'm here to tear the concept of gender away from the patriarchy and pull it apart into a trillion pieces. No more gender roles! No more sex stereotypes!

I want the idea of what it means to have a gender to be personally defined by every individual who wants one. I want no woman or man or non-binary person to be the same. I want the biggest, gruffest dude you've ever seen to say he's an asexual nonbinary woman, and the femmest delicate dame to say she's a bi-lesbian man. I want no one to be able to guess your sex assigned at birth just by looking at you. What's in your pants? Mystery!

I'm here for body modification, HRT, surgery, all that shit. You wanna get elf ears? Sure! You want breast implants, a full body lizard tattoo, phalloplasty, and dermal implants? Hell yes. Full bodily autonomy is what I support.

I'm here for the neopronouns and nounself pronouns and xenogenders. I'm here for people identifying with the gender euphoria of clouds and trees. Fuck, half of the time I describe myself as "masculine like a misty mountain forest". I'm forest-gender. I'm they/them like the Pando Forest (a forest of aspen "trees" that are all technically one tree). I'm he/him like the snow you see walking through the woods when there's orange skyglow everywhere. I'm "it/its" like how you call the deer you see through the trees as you hush the person you're walking with - "Shhh- do you see it? Look!“

You know who hates this kind of shit? Transphobic radfems. Transphobic gender critical feminists. I think the original trans gender abolitionists would be on board with me, but that term has been stolen by a lot of terfs, radfems, and the GCers. That's why I use "gender liberation", to differentiate myself from transphobia.

I assure you, the patriarchy does not approve of any of this shit either, and while I use the word "gender" to mean "personal identity", I promise that the things I think "gender" encompasses is in defiance of anything the patriarchy would approve of.

The patriarchy only approves of two binary genders, that are rigidly based on birth sex, and are unchangeable. They believe being male makes you strong, and being female makes you weak. Their version of gender is based on those stereotypes about birth sexes, and comes with precise roles, behaviors, and places within a social hierarchy all based on your birth sex and the traits they think that biology gives you.

Transphobic radfems, terfs, and gender critical feminists also believe in two binary sexes that are rigidly based on birth sex and are unchangeable. Some of them believe just like the patriarchy that your birth sex determines your behaviors, that males are "inherently" violent, and females are "inherently" weaker. In fact, they believe that these biological qualities are WHY men invented the patriarchy in the first place: it's baked into their biology to oppress women. That's why so many of them are female separatists or female supremacists.

That is not what I'm here for. But I sure see a whole lot in common between the patriarchy and transphobic feminists.

[ryanyflags]

midbinary | abinary | atrinary

Some alt midbinary, abinary, and atrinary flags :]

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Based on my experience with flags, like what kind of colours they use to represent genders/qualities, and my own experience with being nonbinary, I associate blue with masculine/men, pink with feminine/women, purple with androgynous/androgyne, green with neutral/neutrois, and yellow with being separate from the previous qualities, so atrinary.

Like blue for boys and pink for girls is a common colour usage when it comes to flag / in general, and purple is the colour in-between / mix of those 2, so it makes sense for it to be for androgynous/androgyne (purple being used like this is also very common, like the purple stripe on the general nonbinary flag). Green is also a colour I see commonly used for neutrality everywhere, like how the neutrois flag is green. Yellow, if you think in terms of primary colours like red (or pink in this case) blue and yellow, then it makes sense for that to be the colour for being removed from the binary. Since colours like green or orange are combination colours, a mix of red/blue and yellow, rather than being a separate primary colour (though green and orange are also associated with specific nonbinary genders separate from that, like neutrois and maverique).

I'm maverique/nonbinary, which makes me atrinary, and I've always had an attachment to yellow stripes on flags, unsurprising seeing as how those colours are used on the maverique and nonbinary flags lol. Atrinary is a good label that fits, but I've never really felt attached to it because the flag colours didn't fit me.

The point I'm trying to make here, is I see green being used on the atrinary flag, which specifically isn't neutral, and only yellow used on the abinary flag, which does include neutrality, and it feels like the colours are flipped based off my own experience.

There's nothing wrong with the original abinary and atrinary (1 and 2) flags, if anything it just shows how diverse being nonbinary is that people can have different opinions / associations with their gender, but it's always felt weird to me, so I wanted to make some alt versions.

(Wow I wrote A LOT haha, but really this has been in the back of my head since I first saw these flags, and I'm finally making alt flags now after all this time.)

──────────✦──────────

Anyways, for the flags, I used 4 stripes for each, inspired by the nonbinary flag.

As for the colours, I've explained my thoughts on them already a bit above, but I'll list what they mean below:

Midbinary: pink is for femininity, blue is for masculinity, and purples are for the mix / in-between of those 2 (androgynous).

Abinary: green for neutrality, yellow for being separate from femininity and masculinity, and orange too since it's a secondary colour like green and some nonbinary genders use it.

Atrinary: uses different shades/hues of yellow, plus white, for being separate from femininity (red/pink), masculinity (blue), neutrality (green), and anything related to those.

I guess orange is the one colour that doesn't really have any association with it, except maybe maverique or fem+nonbinary (mix of pink/red and yellow). I felt it was more fitting in the abinary flag, and if I used yellow and orange for the atrinary flag it'd be too much like maverique, and atrinary is more than only maverique, so I didn't use it there.

And technically my issue was just with the abinary and atrinary flags, but since I was making those, I thought I might as well make a matching midbinary one too.

(This is quite the ramble, hope I explained my thoughts well enough.)

[transmultiphobia-discussion]

Just came across an anti-lesboy video on my fyp on tiktok (which is a bit weird, because I'm actually largely on the true queer liberation, fully inclusive side of tiktok where I've genuinely come across people saying everything from "hey transmascs face violence too" to "hey support allo aros", stuff that's "controversial" because of bigotry everywhere from twitter to tumblr to facebook).

I'm just so frustrated. That's a label primarily used by multigender people, and secondarily by monogender transmasc and nonbinary people. Very rarely it might also be used by a closeted transfem or transfem egg.

Like no, there's not actually an epidemic of cishet men identifying as lesbian because you've heard a lesbophobic cis guy joke about being a lesbian once. Hell, even if you've heard it many times, THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT LESBOY IS A GENUINELY HELD IDENTITY. If you can't tell the difference between someone being a lesbophobic dick and someone just going about their lives like... it's almost as if you never learned that you can't identify safe people based on their identity but have to judge their ongoing actions and patterns of behavior!

(Not at you tbc, ranting at anti-lesboys.)

Like hmm I wonder why someone who is both a man and a woman attracted to solely women, as an example, might identify as a lesbian. No one tell these fuckers about straight lesbians/straight gays, I stg. Or someone who is abro (I still am waiting for the other shoe to drop and to see someone call my sexuality "just the bi cycle" when by it's very nature it is multiple separate sexualities with fluidity between them, sometimes occurring at the same time, in large part because of my system's plurality making our identifies overlap and intertwine and mix). Or a member of a system (especially a median system).

Or any other number of the extremely marginalized and erased identities that usually use the term.

Like you (again at anti lesboys) could at least try and make an effort to understand why people might use the word and accept it even if you don't understand. I'm so tired of, in general, people automatically assuming bad faith about identities, especially taking all their info about them from people who clearly hate those identities. Like somehow at least the trans community and most of the queer community knows you shouldn't believe genocidal transphobes or even pickme class traitor trans/queer people when they start spouting off about trans identity being about child molestation, but suddenly when people are spouting off about lesboys being cishet men and drinking the nonmen loving nonmen radfem koolaid and being openly and cruelly derisive surely they must be the experts.

At the very least, it's taught me to only ever accept information about any identity from people who are not immediately claiming it's harmful and making mean girl quips about it. I don't actually at this point believe an identity itself can be harmful, only actions (which, tbc, I'm not including "hate group ideology" as identity here), but if I want to learn about an identity I'm certainly not going to take it from the ones calling it anything from queerphobic to ableist (plural discourse shit for example) to sexually predatory to whatever, even if it's coming from a member of a minority group.

There might be cases where I find the identity label is being used to justify harmful actions, at which point I condemn the actions and recognize that it's a bad faith usage of a label which still may be legitimate. If I can't find any good faith usage, I recognize that it's probably a dogwhistle or otherwise harmful, but continue to understand that a good faith usage could arise or I could simply be unaware of it due to erasure.

Anyway tangent aside I'm just very upset, probably a bit triggered from personal queerphobia trauma and general personal trauma but just

Why can't people not be utterly shitty about what are largely microlabels anyway? Why can't people just be kinder? :(

yeahhh tiktok has been on an anti-lesboy tangent lately, I haven't seen much of it myself but I have heard about it from users over here. it's something I've been fighting against for years now, and while things have seemed to have gotten better, other sites like tiktok are cycling through it. still pretty sad to see

[babehog]

Irt the last reblogged post about transmedicalist beliefs. I wont proofread this because I just need to ramble

One thing I wanna emphasize is that transition as a concept isn't even something you need to adhere to to be "trans". If you end up at 25, 40, 70 years old etc. And come across a label, set of beliefs or descriptions that you feel you resonate with, that relate to how you feel about your gender, you can adopt those beliefs without any need to change your body.

Language is just a means of communicating ideas, the idea of a woman for instance will conjure up ideals in ones own head, those ideals are a box we use to frame what we know.

As a nonbinary butch "woman-adjacent" tranny I have to say there's nothing that feels more freeing to me than the idea of not needing to "change" anything about how I present to be exactly what I want to or feel like I am. The idea of "passing" is disgusting to me. The only thing you serve by enforcing the gender binary ideal is white supremacy. Anyone can be anything, gender binary is bullshit. It is a flawed and dangerous idea that women have to be hairless, that men have to be flat-chested etc. That genitalia is indicative of any gender expression.

Kill the idea that trans people look this way or that way. We are as varied and unique and diverse as any other group of people. We exist everywhere.

If you police how people speak about their own bodies, their own lives and experiences. You are aligning yourself with white supremacist ideals.