Text
Yeah a teaser dropping on ST day would be cool. But can we agree that a DNA board reveal would be infinitely better?
#byler#stranger things#st5 predictions#st5 dna board#yes I know a dna board reveal doesn’t qualify as like major promo since most fans want something visual and real#and so it’s likely we’ll get a teaser regardless#which is great#but I’m just imagining the rest of the day being subpar in terms of stuff for us to actually analyze outside of the teaser#they released the s4 dna board during lockdown and a couple months before they even finished writing it#so s5’s board is definitely finalized by now#and it would cost them nothing…#well i mean technically it could cost them everything 😭#it’s just a matter of how on the nose they were about some of the titles it features#and if they’re willing to risk sharing that at this time when there’s still a year until release#i could see a decent amount of films on it being incriminating on so many different fronts#but I could also see some super random stuff in the mix that would distract people from reading into the incriminating stuff#it’s just something that could actually keep us busy analyzing for a while#a teaser would be everything we need rn#but the dna list is what I actually want 😭#i’ve been working on my own st5 dna board wishlist bc I’m so impatient for this#i’m gonna post it tomorrow#it’s time#and in the case they do reveal the dna board next week I want to have mine ready to see if there are any matches#i’ve also been working on my st5vision playlist for nearly 2 years now (jesus) and it’s time to share that too#soon!!
59 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Beast and the Mouse
Info: Fem/readerxKid, semi-slow burn, mutual yearning, cussing
Context: Kid develops a crush on a girl, and he can't deal with it.
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4🔞
Part 5
Kid woke up with a raging hangover the following day. He groaned and covered his eyes with his left arm. While hangovers were the worst, they never stopped him from indulging.
And I fucking deserved it last night, he thought.
After his rendezvous with the woman in the mask, Kid returned to the bar and drank for the rest of the night. Other women tried to approach him, but he waved them off and then scared them off. He didn't see any value in taking another woman upstairs when the first one actually did her job satisfying him.
Satisfied.
Kid paused and wondered.
When was the last time he was satisfied after fucking just one woman? He breathed in slowly as his head throbbed with thinking. Never, he answered himself. Oh, he would finish, but he usually would have another woman ready, but he didn't have that need this time.
And fucking wasn't the right word, either. It was by no means love-making, but it was different.
Kid lay in bed staring at the ceiling. They were setting sail tomorrow, and the rest of the supplies needed to be gathered today. And then, there was Y/N.
Y/N.
"Fuck," he breathed and then winced.
He would deal with her later when his skull wasn't trying to crush his brain. His thoughts then drifted back to the woman in the mask and what was different about her. She was feisty for one thing, and for another, she actually participated.
The woman seemed to enjoy herself and worked to ensure her pleasure. Interesting for a woman who was supposed to be whore. They typically just did whatever would finish the job so they could move onto the next client.
And she didn't exactly acted like virgin either.
Who was she?
Kid swallowed some bile that crept up into his throat and breathed.
They were setting sail tomorrow and he needed to deal with his mouse problem once and for all.
But first, he needed a little more satisfaction.
Y/N woke up early, showered, and dressed before heading to the infirmary. She started to mix her ingredients when her first patient of the morning walked in.
"Wire," She greeted and quickly poured her concoction into a small glass.
Wire eyed her warily and said, "If this is poison, I will kill you."
Y/N didn't dignify his comment with a reply and merely pushed the glass towards him. Wire glanced at the glass for a minute before reaching for it. He tossed it back and grimaced.
"That tasted like shit."
"But you won't feel like shit for the rest of the morning," Y/N replied and started on her next batch. Wire turned to leave but paused and said, "He's thinking of kicking you off."
Y/N froze, and her head snapped up to look at Wire.
"What?"
Wire peered at her, his expression unreadable.
Y/N knew that Wire was part of Kid's inner circle and that anything Kid shared with Killer typically gets shared with Wire or Heat. Though he trained her, Y/N sensed that Wire's opinion of her was always natural, which was the expectation of that day.
"You need to think if this is where you belong, Mouse." Wire said in a dull tone. "If you have any doubts, you should leave before he kicks you off the boat in the middle of the sea. He's done that before."
Y/N swallowed as she imagined Kid throwing some poor soul off the Victora Punk in the middle of nowhere. She could see him walking away from the railing as they screamed to be let back on the ship. Kid wouldn't waste a lifeboat on someone he deemed worthless.
She wanted to ask Wire if this had to do with the stabbing incident or something else. Y/N wanted to know if there was anything she could do to change his mind or what she was doing wrong. There were more questions she wanted to ask, but Y/N knew that he wasn't the person to talk to. Neither was Heat or Killer.
"Thank you for making me aware of my situation." That was all she said before making her hangover juice for the next person to walk through the door.
Wire didn't bother sparing her a glance as he left the room. More people came into the infirmary, groaning, hands on their foreheads, and looking pale. Y/N served them all her elixir. Wire's warning tumbled in her head, slowly shaking her calm facade apart.
What was Kid's reason for kicking her off the crew?
He couldn't have found out about last night. If he had, Kid would be raging and shouting at her. It was odd timing to punish her for the knife incident now. Maybe Wire had lied to her, but she didn't think he would waste the time.
Y/n let out a frustrated sigh as she set a large pitcher of her elixir on the main counter. She needed a walk to clear her head before she snapped at someone. She set cups next to the pitcher and turned to leave when Killer walked in. Y/N paused as she looked at him with surprise.
Killer didn't seem like the type to get hangovers, and with his mask on, it was hard to tell if he was experiencing any symptoms.
"If you have a hangover, I made a big-"
"Don't need it." Killer said as he walked to the counter and poured the pitcher's contents into a cup.
Y/N realized that Killer must be taking it to Kid.
"The Captain isn't feeling well?" She asked and felt immediately stupid. Kid was a big drinker, and there were mornings when he stomped in here with a foul mood and demanded she make her elixir for him.
Killer ignored her and then turned to leave the room. Y/N knew he wasn't the person to ask and that she should be a big girl and confront Kid herself, but...
"I heard that I might be kicked off the ship." She forced herself to say.
Rarely was it possible to get a straight reaction from Killer. He was the polar opposite of Kid—calm and collected. It was not just his mask that hid his emotions and thoughts. Killer's voice and body language gave nothing away, but her comment surprised him.
He glanced at her and tilted his head in thought, then said, "It's not for me to say if it's true or not. You'll have to ask the Captain yourself."
His answer cemented in Y/N's mind that the kid was going to kick her off the crew.
“Well, shit,” She breathed as she tossed down a cleaning rag she had in her hand. One hand went to her head as the other rested on her hip.
“I guess I can't blame him, but he goated me into stabbing him,” she murmured.
“Do you want to leave?”
Y/N glanced up at Killer.
“Huh?”
“Do you want to leave?” Killer asked again, this time annunciating each word.
“Of course not!” Y/N replied, sounding offended.
“Then talked to him,” Killer replied and left the room.
Y/N groaned. Maybe Wire was right; she needed to consider her opinions while they were still on land.
Y/N was still deciding what to do hours later as she helped shop for supplies. She was browsing a stall with medicinal herbs when a woman came up next to her. Y/n was about to step aside to make room when the woman spoke in a low voice.
"He wants to see you again."
Y/N froze with confusion and quickly realized who the woman was and what she was talking about.
"Does he know?" Asked as she pretended to continue her shopping.
The woman picked up a bundle of holy basil, turning it over to inspect the leaves.
"No, he doesn't."
"What did he say?"
"That he wants to see you again. Tonight."
"For what-?"
"Don't waste time asking stupid questions! You know why!"
Y/N winced at her snappy tone. The madame of the Garden's brothel was right; that was a stupid question.
"I can't. The crew is setting sail tomorrow, and I have other problems I need to deal with."
The woman set the bundle aside and picked up another bundle of herbs Y/N recognized for its use for nerves. The woman sighed and mused, "He and his money are more trouble than they're worth. I let my pride cloud my judgment."
She set that bundle next to her holy basil. Y/N breathed to speak, but the woman cut her off. Her tone was steady at first but edged near hysteria as she noticed Y/N's hesitation and reluctance.
"You will come to The Garden tonight and see him. I will disguise you better if you insist on remaining unknown. I don't care what your problems are, but he is not a man I will risk saying no to!"
Y/N swallowed the lump in her throat and pleaded.
"Can't you disguise someone else? Make them look like the girl he was with or like something?"
The woman scoffed, "If it were that simple, I wouldn't have bothered to look for you. I have my limits."
She then selected a few more bundles of herbs and paid the merchant. Y/N made her purchase as well and turned to face the madame.
"You do know that I am part of a pirate crew."
The woman smirked and said, "Yes, I know. I had you followed. Your crew is setting sail tomorrow, so I'm sure there will be one last hurrah tonight. If you are not at The Garden when he asks for you, I will tell your captain something interesting."
She then started to walk away, and men waiting at the other stalls quickly followed behind her. Y/N let out a big breath and headed in the other direction to the ship.
What she needed was a drink and a long think.
Kid was heading back to the ship. They both happened to turn the corner at the same time. They both saw each other and stopped walking.
@ella157 @bdudette @faetoraa @elen-alambil @buckysxgal @ryuv1i @ilovespicykimchi @stuckinthewrongworld @ninablue @kookydoesstuff @Kimyk10br @rivui
#eustass kid#eustass captain kidd#captain kid x reader#kid x reader#one piece x reader#one piece fanfiction#op fanfic#eustass kid x reader#kid pirates#one piece
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
City of dreams
Janis ‘Imi’ike x fem! reader(+ big sis Regina)
Warnings: some coarse language, fluff, mentions of sex
Read other parts here!
��Hehe, congrats.” Regina grinned.
You gasped dramatically, “You knew, didn’t you?!”
“Knew? I helped her plan it. The whole gang did.”
Janis propped her phone up on the coffee table, getting up to get a snack from the pantry. “Pita chips? Or pretzels?”
“Pita chips.” You answered, eyes staying focused on the phone screen. “How is it that I had zero clue?”
“Which was good, no? You were really surprised.” Regina added on.
“I was sobbing like a baby by the time she kneeled down in front of me. I’m just lucky no one else was there to take a photo of my ridiculous face at the moment.”
“Oh, there are still photos. Even a video, actually.” Janis informed you, “There is no way I didn’t want to immortalise that moment.”
You sigh, “Very well then.” You turned to look at Janis, squinting. Through the FaceTime call, Cady and Regina were laughing. “It was something worth capturing, honey.” Janis soothed, sitting down next to you again as she opened up the bag of cinnamon pita chips. Gretchen said you guys could help yourselves to anything, by the way
“How’ve you been?” You asked.
“Same. The same, nothing’s changed.” Regina replied, “Quit being so worried, alright? Everything is going perfectly fine.”
“Can’t help it.” You admitted.
“The doctor said so.” Cady quipped.
“It’s natural for me to worry. I just— but yeah, I hear you though.
“Enjoy the alone time.” Regina smirked.
“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes jokingly, “Don’t have to worry about that part.”
Regina’s eyes went wide for a moment, “Finally answering a little differently, are we?”
“Trust me, she’s not as shy as you think she is.” Janis remarked. You smacked her shoulder, “Hey!”
Janis giggled, “You love me.”
“Yes, I do.” You sulked.
“You’re so cute when you do that.” Janis snuck a kiss to your cheek.
“You guys are too cute.” Regina sighs.
“Oh?” Janis grins. “That’s good to know.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m used to this PDA, ‘Imi’ike.”
Janis scoffs, “Oh, look who’s talking.”
“Shut up.” Regina said with a laugh.
“You shut up.” Janis retorted, pulling you onto her lap. You huffed, “What—”
“You’re mineeee.” Janis jokingly threatened, chomping your shoulder.
You couldn’t help it but laugh, “Are you okay?”
“I’m perfectly fine.” Janis rests her chin on your shoulder, bringing a pita chip to your lip. You took a bite and held the piece between your teeth. “So…how’s everything?”
“Uh, well. Everything’s fine with the baby but I’m not feeling too hot. Having to pee so much, my feet hurt, my back aches. Fun.”
“Regina.” Cady chided.
“Well, she asked me.” Regina shot the redhead a look.
“I did.” You said to Cady, “It’s fine. And I’m sorry you’re so uncomfortable but.”
“Yeah, we’re getting closer.” She smiled at the thought. “How’s the trip going?”
“It’s noon and we’re still at home so…” Janis says, her voice trailing off.
“Okay, message received.” Regina snorted, “Glad you’re having some good sex.”
“Oh God.” Cady facepalmed.
“Wow, haven’t I heard that before.” The blonde lets out a breathy laugh. “This is a sex-positive house, Cady.”
“Mm, sure. Okay, so any fun plans today? Sex aside?” Cady interjected.
“We’re seeing a Broadway show tonight.” You beamed.
“That we are. The Lion King, maybe The Notebook tomorrow.” Janis chimed in.
“I want a bagel.” You glanced at Janis.
“Then we’ll go get you a bagel.” Janis booped your nose.
You giggled, “Janis.”
“Okay, I won’t keep you guys any longer. Go have fun.” Regina chortled, “Enjoy your bagel. I want pictures.”
“Okay, Reg.” You agreed, “Will send to the group.”
————
It was always nice for you and Janis to get to experience a little bit of life together, just the two of you. The Wiener family’s Chelsea townhouse was the dream residence for the both of you, if you guys were being completely honest. But of course, you and Janis were in a completely different tax bracket. You were no longer relying on your parents for money, and you haven’t been since junior year of high school. Though you’ve always just had Regina’s help with it even prior to that, so you were pretty fortunate. Being in this house just felt right, but it could never be a permanent thing. This wasn’t your house.
“What ya thinking about?” Janis asks, joining you at the bay window.
“Nothing much.” You sighed, chin resting on your palm as you sat cross legged and looking at the fall leaves outside. “Or at least trying not to think of anything much.”
“You can talk about it if you’re ready to.” She judged gently, “I’m all ears.”
“Well…Regina is right. What they’re going through now? That’s what our future’s gonna be like.” You began, “And I’m not sure if I’m ready for the heartbreak that is a failed IVF attempt, or worse— a miscarriage. That scares me half to death. Like— what if we do everything right but we still lose the baby?”
Janis just quietly listens, a hand on your back, letting her presence be known to you.
“That’s gonna fuck me up. So bad, and how will our bodies change? Our minds? Our lives? But…despite those questions it will also kill me to not have tried, to not be able to have a child of our own that…that’s an extension of our love. And I — I don’t know what to do, Jan. I’m scared, I don’t have a clear answer. I don’t want to make the wrong choice. But as terrible as it sounds, what if I regret my choice? What if I’m not a good mom?”
“We won’t know for sure what the aftermath of our decisions will be like. But what I do know for sure, is that…with you. No matter where life takes us, whether or not we have kids…it’ll still be the best life we can live. We did our best, and sometimes, some things maybe just aren’t for us in this lifetime.” Janis says after a few seconds, rubbing your back when you sniffled. “But that shouldn’t stop us from doing the best we can to fight for what we want. It’s hard, yes. But sometimes the hardest decisions are the biggest lessons. They teach us to be strong…or to be stronger because there’s still a lot in store for us.”
You just stayed silent, taking in a deep breath.
“For what it’s worth, I think you’d be an incredible mother.”
“No.” You disagreed, chuckling tearfully, “I’m still afraid I’d end up like my mother.”
“If you’re afraid, you’re aware. You won’t be like her. You, y/n…you’re your own person. You might not trust yourself in some moments, and that’s okay. We’re human. But, trust me. I see you everyday the way I see you. And I know you. So…believe me when I tell you that.”
You looked at her, still teary eyed but the crying had just begun. Pulling her into a hug, she kisses your cheek on the way. “We got this, okay? Promise. We’ll go through it all, together. Just like we are now, and just like we have been.”
You nodded firmly, drying your tears. But Janis pulls you right back in for a longer hug.
After you and Janis have arrived back in Chicago, you two were picked up by Cady. “Hi, sweetheart.” Cady hugged you first.
“Hey.” You gave her a smile.
“Hi, Janis.” Cady hugged her too.
“What’s up?” The brunette chuckles, “Good to be back.”
“I did not wanna leave.” You laughed at the thought as the three of you headed to the parking structure for the car.
“That’s true.” Janis confirmed.
“Well, it is very nice over there so, I get it.” Cady hummed, “Alrighty, get in the car and let’s go home.”
Regina was beyond thrilled to see you again after your two-week absence. “I’ve missed you too, Reg.” You were kind of stood frozen thanks to her sudden affection. Yeah, you still were not top used to this side of her yet.
“Hey, G.” Janis bit back a laugh, “How are ya?”
“Meh, you guys know how it’s been so I’m not gonna repeat it.” Regina answered.
“You have an appointment tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, I do. You actually remembered?”
“Of course.” You nodded swiftly.
“Anyway, how are you two doing with wedding planning? Started yet?” Regina asked.
“Not yet.” You sighed.
“Okay, did something happen…?” Regina squinted at you.
“No.” You quickly lied. You weren’t about to tell your pregnant sister about the breakdown you had over your own future and the possibility of wanting to be pregnant. Or not. You still didn’t know for sure. “I’m gonna take a shower. You wanna come with me, Jan?”
“Uh, sure!” The girl narrowed her eyes at you, slightly worried by your avoidance of that question from Regina. She knew your sister would definitely press you for answers. But she was more concerned about you.
While you were taking out a set of clothes from the wardrobe, you hear Janis walking up behind you. You know what was coming, and you did not want to talk about it again. You knew this was on you to work through. And you knew you had a great support system, but as always…some days will be harder than others. Well, the past couple of days have been ‘some days’. You’ve given your future a lot of thought, but the matter of starting a family was still a big question mark.
“Hey, deep breaths, honey.” She had a hand on your shoulder, “Everything’s okay. Listen to me— everything is okay. Just breathe.”
“I’m trying.” You sighed, “I’m trying. Why is it bothering me so much? Oh my God.”
She hugs you, “We’ll make it through just fine. Right now, just focus on your shower, put on your favourite playlist and get freshened up. Hm?”
You nodded firmly, determined to get out of this little ‘mood’. “Okay.”
“Okay.” She pecks your cheek, “And after you’re done, we’re gonna make some dinner together, yeah? Let’s do something.”
“Sounds good.” You agreed, giving her a kiss in return before you disappeared into the bathroom.
Janis exits the bedroom once she hears the tap being turned on, and the beat of your favourite song. “Is she okay?”
“She will be, don’t worry about that. She’s got it.”
“Make sure she goes to her therapy appointments.” Regina says with a nod.
“Always.” Janis answered seriously, “Alright— any requests for dinner?”
“Um, anything honestly is great when you cook.”
“Way to flatter me.” Janis bursts out laughing, “You wanna suggest a cuisine at least?”
“Please, you can make a salad taste good.” Regina scoffed, “Cook whatever you want. But if you insist, use only what we have in the fridge and pantry right now.”
“That works too,” Janis chuckles, walking towards the kitchen, “Let’s see what we end up with, eh?”
“Looking forward to it.” Regina smirked.
“Do you trust your sister in the kitchen?”
“What?” Regina looks at the brunette, bewildered, “Course I do.”
“Kidding.” Janis quickly chimed in. “Just saying…”
“She can cook together with you, alright? She’s perfectly capable of that.” Regina laughs, pulling a face at the Hawaiian. By the time Janis finished setting up everything, you were fresh out of the shower. “Hi, love.” Janis’ face lit up.
“Hey.” Your smile mirrored hers. “What are you cooking tonight?”
“G, how are you with salmon?” Asked Janis.
“I’m fine, I can eat it now.” Regina confirmed.
“Great!” Janis says, “and y/n, I know. No fish for you.”
You smiled, “Are we doing rice or something else?”
“Yeah, rice.” Janis nodded, “2 cups. That small one in the bag.”
“Okay.” You went ahead with that task while she got started on hers.
“Tofu or chicken, baby?” She asks.
You decided on the former, “Tofu.”
While you and Janis worked in the kitchen, your eyes wandered over to Cady and Regina on the couch. You watched them watching a movie together, cuddled up comfortably as Cady’s hand rested on Regina’s bump. Your heart melted, that was sweet. Janis soon saw what you were looking at, too. “I know.” Janis whispered, “Cute.”
Focusing on making dinner took your mind off of the worrying. Janis always knew what to do when you didn’t. “Thanks for…um making sure I don’t keep staying in that state of mind.”
“Always gonna be here for you.” She answered simply while seasoning the salmon fillets. Turning the stove on, she waited until the pan was warm enough before dropping some butter onto it. Eventually, the teriyaki sauce-seasoned meat was sizzling in the pan and if you were being completely honest? It smelled amazing, but you just did not dare to eat fish ever again after an incident.
Janis used an entirely different pan for your tofu, just to give you a peace of mind. She’s never made a big deal out of it, it came naturally to her to do this. You didn’t even think she was aware of why you refused to eat any sort of fish, but apparently she was. After dinner, Regina said good night to you all and headed to bed. Cady helped wash and dry the dishes, while you and Janis cleaned up the kitchen. It wasn’t long before you two were in your bedroom, laptop open with a notebook and some pens in your laps.
“Let’s start with dates…gather a few then slowly narrow them down?” Janis began.
“How about a summer wedding?”
“Lovely.”
“Actually, I have an idea for the date.”
“Yeah, shoot.” Janis nodded, looking at you attentively.
“June 26th? Honestly I thought of Stitch, you know experiment 626. But anyway.” You laughed, “‘Ohana means family. Stitch reminds me of that quote, and if we’re gonna go with a summer wedding. How’s Hawai’i?’
“That is adorable.”
“Sure.” You laughed it off, “But is it good? Like, actually, would a wedding there work out cost wise?”
“I don’t think it would cost much, or at all to do a wedding on the beach.” Janis assured, “I think this is it. This is perfect. Our family will be there. My mom, Keani…I didn’t think it’d be this easy, I guess this is what we were meant to choose. It just fell into our laps, you know? It wasn’t a hard decision.”
You agreed with a nod, noting that down on an open document on your laptop. “Also, for food and beverages, my aunts and uncles can help.”
“Please don’t tell me that they’re doing that for free. We need to pay them.”
“They’re gonna insist, but we’re gonna insist harder. Maybe work it out to a discount rate instead of completely FOC.” Janis says, “I know.”
“About the whole pr—”
“Baby, we already talked about this. One thing at a time. We still have a lot to look forward to first before we get ahead of ourselves. We can think about it, we can discuss it but we shouldn’t let it take over our minds.”
With your lips pursed, you gave her a nod, “Okay.”
“Whatever we decide, nothing will change between us. Okay? Nothing bad. It’s always going to be us versus the obstacles, not each other.”
You pondered over her words, heart rate slowing down and you let go of the corner of your shirt that you were grabbing onto. “Let’s lay down, go to bed for the night.” Janis pulls you closer. “Okay? It’s time for bed.”
“Yeah, okay.” You laid down.
And, that was the end of the conversation. For now. It will come up again, just much later, and when the time is right— when you were both ready. “Good night, ipo.”
You went to sleep with a smile on your face, calm too, “Good night.”
Feeling a kiss to the side of your head, you began to drift off to sleep while you both held each other.
Were you dreaming too big about wanting to start a family? Maybe, considering the costs and efforts you two had to put into it compared to say, a more traditional means. But you knew for sure that you’ll be fine no matter how things pan out. You had Janis, and you had the rest of your little family right next to you to get through this life together. It wasn’t impossible, you just had to work hard. But most importantly, you would be alright. And you were so proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. You never thought this would happen for you…
You were getting married, to the love of your life. And you couldn’t be any happier.
🏷️Tag list:
@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128
💭A/N:
Cadina are welcoming the baby in the next chapter, then it’s time for the wedding in Hawai’i😙
#auli’i cravalho#x reader#janis ‘imi’ike#renee rapp#regina george#mean girls 2024#mgmm fics#wlw#gxg#character x reader#multi part fic#reader insert#reader imagine
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
ULTRATOBER DAY 18 /// DRONE (& friend)
[PREVIOUS] 🏮 [NEXT]
#Ultrakill#Ultratober#Ultratober 2023#Ultrakill Drone#Cancerous rodent#This image is dedicated to Reel (number 1 drone fan) and also the only 6ish people in the ultrabrainrot server who understand what the hell#this image means. These two are best friends in my heart#Anyway I actually have ideas in advance for the next 2 days so stay tuned for that :]#(And also something else non-utkl related if I can get it done in time... oops. If I don't post it tomorrow I didn't lie I just failed)#Hrokkall Sketch#ID in alt
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
turns out i turned the assignment i was stressing over into something a lot more complicated in my head & its actually really simple
#somehow mistook my far too ambitious plans as the actual assignment#:(#this is really good though bc i thought id be at this all day but if all goes well i could be done in like 2 hours#:)))#which is good bc i have 2 tests tomorrow and an assignment#none of which were put on the online platform we use#which means that i forgot#and another test i have to redo at some point#but i dont know when#aaaghhh why is there so much work always#oh and i need to work on my final project too#the current step is due by the end of next week & its a lot of work#i have to find a bunch of relevant sources#and then paste or type all relevant parts of them in a document#and also provide a defence as to why the sources i picked are trustworthy#and i have to do this for a bunch of them#i have to defend them all individually too#if it was just a text on how i judged the trustworthyness that would be fine#but this is a lot#and im also trying to prepare for the exams already#mine#im so so sick of school#i want some free time to watch a film#!!#its been at least 2 weeks since i had the time#ugh#are they trying to drive us all to burn out or something??
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
I love the way you write and FFS is my favourite fic of yours. It was very healing and comforting watching a character go through such a difficult mental health journey. It made me feel less alone. Ef has motivated me to keep going on because things can always get better.
I just wanted to say thank you very much, and I hope you rest as much as you can while you're on break. (P.S. I am super excited for Constellations!! When you mentioned Leo in the last chapter I was like YES! They're still friends!)
Hi anon
I'm so glad you enjoy Falling Falling Stars, it was such a huge undertaking but it was so cathartic even writing it and sharing it at the time, I think it's been pretty humbling honestly that so many folks have brought so much of themselves and their lives to this story, and connect with it and the characters in it.
Efnisien is pretty awesome as a character as a vehicle of 'it sucks and you might even have done bad things but you're still allowed to have good things and you can always improve / better yourself' etc. I used to get a few 'I've never done anything like Efnisien but I relate to him' and my thoughts on that have always been that many of us know what it's like to feel like the worst, even if we've relatively never done anything that bad at all. And it's hard to recover from that feeling, but...perhaps seeing how someone who has been literally the worst is doing it might help.
We all deserve a redemption narrative, even the people who didn't need redeeming in the first place.
#asks and answers#falling falling stars#efnisien ap wledig#i mean to be fair many of us have done bad things without knowing#or without realising how bad they were at the time#and then have to process and deal with that later#i feel like i'm a criminal if i just get angry at someone and it's not deserved so#dsalkfjdsa#i am trying to rest!#toby is being neutered/desexed tomorrow so i actually expect the next 10 days to be quite stressful#and in some ways i'm very glad i *don't* have to write today or tomorrow etc.#i'm still not recovered from my burnout yet so i'm just like#chin-handing and thinking about the future and writing a lot
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
current writing mood
#the important thing when a deadline is hunting you for sport is to not panic#which means. as much as I'm tempting to start frantically cramming right this second#i am going to not#i will instead. meet my normal word count goal. and stop there#and rest. because i'm on the tail end of a slightly busy weekend#and dont' want to overdo it rn. because that's not setting myself up for success later#so. i will chill tonight and go to bed on time#so that TOMORROW#i can strategically and efficiently. write like 10000 words or something#<- not that many#what I will actually do is perhaps increase my daily word count slightly for the next six days. and also#make an effort to go beyond it. that will be my minimum#and I will have schedules writing sessions and breaks#and I am going to get this fuckign thing done#calmly and collectively#and on time#i believe in me i think I can do this#i WILL do this#and it's going to be fun#and worth it
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Getting Stockholm syndrome'd by academics lately not even stressed about the fact I have to get thru like 700 pages of last-minute assigned readings between my classes before 9 AM Wednesday. Just chilling. Acknowledging the next 2 days are going to be intense and exhausting but will manage and get thru it a better theorist. Also there's Buster Keaton screening to mark the end of Round 1: Reading Hell
#finishing this chapter and getting thru at least half the next tonight before calling it quits#don't actually think I'll have the time to make this literally happen but I'll be prioritizing best I can#means i'm finishing last of media theory tomorrow morning and then going straight to marx and then from there every spare moment#is on these 2 ridiculous last minute theory books. explodes and dies#might meal prep a little tonight or tomorrow morning we'll see how tired i am#okay goodbye to my blog i have to go back to doing things or i'll drown and die forever and ever in film theory
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
my job is gonna make me buy a watch isn't it 😭
#to be clear I've actually been.... meaning to buy a watch#bc i actually liked having one but it broke#but i have been.... procrastinating it#however the new shit im doing requires me to know what time i start and stop things :')#and like yeah i do have my phone but also i very much try not to pull it out mid-shift bc while I'm sure#that my new supervisor guy would understand that I'm just checking the time#i still remember seeing people walked out of the building for being in their phones on the clock#and i would very much like to remain employed#so... new watch it is#i should....... i should go ahead and do that shouldn't i#Walmart is right next door but that means getting up+dressed+going out+all that in reverse as well#ough#ill do it after i get off tomorrow#i can make it 1 shift with just using my phone + the computers around the factory right?#shh ac
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
idk if I ever said but I'm really enjoying my new job at the library :D
#ive been. really busy going through training and i still have a lot to learn but :D#i was offered extra hours you know ya boy took that shit#but now im at the point where everything is slowing back down and im getting my normal pt hours next week#today and tomorrow are my last days of extra work....and then my normal schedule kicks in#which means i also should have time to draw and write and POST again because i cant really do any of that at work#even if i try to daydream im capable of fucking up something. brain power reduced to actual cognitive function#no daydreams lest i shelve a book incorrectly or miss a patron....#val.txt
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I can’t even imagine living without anxiety. Like. How. What?
#I mean if I woke up tomorrow with a normal amount of anxiety it would be a shocking difference to my daily life. and I am medicated!!! like.#what? am I missing something here?#my mom tells me that meds can only do so much and that they’re really just meant to make it so you can get out of bed every day#but now I’m wondering like is that true or is that my mom is on the wrong dose herself and something could be done to help us both#gahhhhh idk I just feel helpless bc I’m scared of making big changes and the big changes have to make are scary and large and I need a#bulleted list made of things I can do (and break down into very small steps) to actually progress in a positive way in my life instead of#being SO afraid and SO stagnant. it’s been six months since (ptsd diagnosis causing thing) and I don’t feel like I’ve made any progress even#with a therapist. I’m working towards a more intensive program but I feel like it’s almost making me feel more alienated bc I’d have to like#go be surrounded by other mentally ill people and medical people which brings dad dying trauma and like I know I’m running from it bc I’m#afraid to face the changes I need to make and the feelings that are going to come up but fuck man can’t I get some fucking meds that make#this easier to deal with!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grief and ptsd and long term isolation and anxiety and chronic pain like fuck it’s#so exhausting!!!! I feel like I’m fucking fighting thru life and then from the outside it’s like I’m doing nothing cause I stay in my room#and get stoned and play animal crossing and watch tv and cry and over eat and sometimes I drive around in circles so I can scream sing until#my throat burns and I get a headache and everything finally quiets down in my head for a second. I know I look like I’m doing nothing and#that’s because I am doing nothing but waiting for the next time a mental health professional will talk to me for an hour like it’s so sad#anyways. you ever take a big dab and then start crying and type all of this like it’s an epiphany even tho it’s things you already know.#honestly crying in front of the air conditioner is so slay slight breeze over my face cooling the tears the white noise calming me down
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm so nervous about writing an essay for the first time in two years. What if I do horribly 💀
#logically I think it'd be highly unlikely that I would do badly enough to not pass#and this is just one free standing class so the grade I get isn't actually that important#failing would be bad though because it would complicate things with students benefits next time I apply lol#but I don't actually feel much pressure to get an A or anything#but I'm still nervous because it's been a while since I've written academically#and I've always been better at doing in in english than swedish so that's another thing#(probably partially because I have more practice writing in english) (so I guess it's good for me to practice doing it in swedish)#anyways yeah. I've never written an essay that was anywhere close to getting an F#so even if this is higher level and I'm a bit rusty I don't really think it's likely that I'll fail#but I'm still nervous#I also know I won't get started until next week because of the taylor shows but I'll still have 10 days so it should be fine#I mean I'll probably take a look at some stuff tomorrow but yeah#personal
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i finished & posted the ITNL 14 re-edits, WHICH MEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm officially done with my re-edits project!!!!!!!!!! :D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ive been thinking a lot today about my plans for ITNL 15, AND i have tomorrow off, so if all goes well i'll be able to start writing again. TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and if the chapter grips me like i expect it will then... hehehehehe
could be an update in as little as a few days, depending. i'll keep u guys updated
#speculation nation#itnl shit#im SO fucking ecstatic man ive been looking forward to this for a month and a half#that took SO much longer than i was expecting it to. but i guess editing 75k words while working full time is kind of a lot#it has been a journey. and it is now complete.#and now i can move on to the NEW THINGS!!!!!!!!! INCLUDING a chapter id been looking forward to for So Long#it's for the best that i went thru the whole fic again. itnl 14 was so hard to write bc i was just Not that mentally there with it#and also uh. The Everything.#i think 15 will be easier. MUCH easier. and im really looking forward to having proper writing motivation again.#AND......... IF ALL GOES WELL.............. i'll hopefully be able to ride that motivation train through the next few chapters#Which Means we could be seeing wolfwood in as little as a few weeks!!! maybe!!!!!!!!#i hope so !!!!!!!!!!! i wanna write him SO fucking bad#and like itnl IS a vw fic. it IS. i SWEAR. it's just mostly been grieving and pining from vash so far lksdjflsdjkfsdlkf#but it will have actual vw. eventually.#im like practically vibrating now but i need to go to sleep. so i can have the brain strength to write tomorrow hehehe#i took a melatonin to hopefully knock myself out soon. i GOTTA get some good rest tonight. for the Writing Brain.#and if i daydream about the start of next chapter.... hehehehe#more power to me then :]
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Freed from the chains of academic misery just to immediately be thrown into the dungeon of a Full time position
#lord help me#i mean I've been working overtime a lot so it's better to have some more hours I'll actually get paid for#but goood i already feel drained#(starting next week/month (tomorrow's a holiday so at least i get a 3 day weekend before that))#((although i will probably have to do some work over the weekend because i need to prepare some stuff for the new hires#who i have to train#and also we have our print deadline next monday (so i mean. the monday after next week? idk)#and our medical advisor IS ON VACATION until November 14th#HELLO??? i don't wanna complain about her taking her well deserved time off but like. a little heads up would have been nice#now i have to find another suitable person to do the certification of that one article#and we have less than a week?#god i hate next week#i swear we Just did this#and heaven help me find some interesting urology news or the newsletter will crash and burn#sorry#got carried away#void screams#work stuff
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
(。・ω・。)ノ♡
#Alright I got tragically interrupted while watching it but I'm finally finished watching the episode!!#It's really really good both the animation and drawings are very detailed compared to the rest of the anime but...#The pace is so off :((( Like it's not the end of the world but ugh. It's unfortunate...#So many things just don't hit off as deeply because everything is moving so fast all the time and there's no time to process anything.#They won't allow you one second for the last line of a scene to sink in that the next scene's ost is already playing.#And like it's not even the worst crime an anime can commit I guess but still...#I wish they didn't. Like rather than make a 13 episodes season and squeeze the Sky Casino arc in merely two episodes it would have been–#a lot better to finish the season at the previous episode and make 12 episodes out of everything (so that everything could be better paced)#Like yeah maybe it's not the best season ending that there can be but... It's not terrible either‚ you have Atsushi saying the line–#“there's still hope” and the season ending there‚ that's pretty cool#I don't know why everyone feels like they have to rush all the time.#Guys do I have to be the one to remind you you make more money if more season come out.#Like how can the knowledge of Sigma being made by the book have any kind of impact when we've only known him for ten minutes.#Teruko's looking mad AND looking cutesy AND blowing up the landing zone didn't have the same comedic effect they did in the manga because..#It just happened all together! There's no time to process anything. Or maybe I'm just slow idk but I mean YOU GOTTA–#MAKE TIME FOR THE OPENING AND ENDING IN THE EPISODE c'mon man#Sorry I'm complaining it's actually good. I really really love Teruko & Tachihara. Jouno too!!!#I liked the Tahihara spotlight this episode... It's so cute to see what he's like when he's not acting– well‚ not completely I guess#Mmmmhhh.#Yesterday I read an interesting post on how a lot of early dc/mk wouldn't work today because the technology of the world has changed SO muc#I think a similar reflection can be made for the doa terrorist plot. Countries are pushing towards a complete digital money transition.#In 50 years or so coins may not be circulating anymore and today already the impact of this terrorist plot would be a lot smaller–#compared to when the chapters were coming out. I think#Well. Nice episode! Forward to next week! If tomorrow's manga chapter hasn't killed me before that#random rambles
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
FINAL MIDBLOCK ESSAY DONE!! I AM FREE!!
#FINALLY. have not been able to relax for like a month that’s the thing about the due dates being so far apart it’s great because you’ve got#more time but it also means everything just. lasts longer. anyway! done now. this one perhaps not my best work but it was harder than i#expected…my us government one will be rough but what else do you expect from 1500 words..and then my theory essay..my best hope for a good#grade perhaps…but we’ll see. the next lot aren’t due until january but im gonna start thinking about them now so im less busy over christmas#insane that that’s not too terrible a thought. uni is crazy when you actually enjoy your degree. anyway! for now i am going to enjoy the#rest of my weekend at home n me and my mum are going out tomorrow n im gonna buy some books with the voucher i haven’t spent since my#birthday in february and ill finally have time to finish the book im reading rn AND to do some writing..start chapter 2 : ^ )#woohoo!! aware no one gaf about any of this but i am first and foremost always the audience for my own posts so. this one’s for me..#(ridi's) bigmouth strikes again
10 notes
·
View notes