#and buy those lashes and concealer

[disloyalroyal]

Turns out I’ve been wearing a toned down version of gyaru makeup :0

[blueicequeen19]

Right Side Of Wrong

Warnings: JJ & John B’s off limits sister 👀

I love this trope. I’ll write it 100 times 🔥

Part Two

I propped myself up on some pillows and leaned back against my headboard, tangy scented smoke filling the air as I exhaled from my weed pen. I was freshly showered wearing only a pair of boxers with my legs sprawled out, my comforter kicked to the foot of my bed as I fought to erase the inappropriate thoughts I was having about my best friends little sister.

Y/N Routledge had been in my life as long as John B had. The three of us did everything together until we didn’t. She was my annoying little sister too, until she wasn’t. I constantly had to hear about John B being the over protective big brother and running everyone off that looked at her. Or asked about her. Or so much as walked in her direction.

For awhile, I was helping run off all the boys. Now part of me was glad that no one had touched her yet. She had the face of an Angel and the body of the devil. And she slowly began to realize that. She dressed for attention now and she was sure getting a lot from it. It was hard not to notice with her long, tan legs and perky tits. Her ass bounced with every step she took and my palm itched to smack the smooth flesh.

I couldn’t sleep without her invading my every fantasy. I wanted to know what she felt like.. on the inside and the outside. I wanted to taste her skin and her pussy. I wanted to know what those tits looked like when she bounced on my cock. I wanted to know what she sounded like when she came and when she gagged on me. I wanted to know if she was a squirter or a crier. If she’d like her hair pulled or choked. She was a brat, she probably liked both.

“JJ?” I blink back to reality, seeing Y/N standing at the foot of my bed in the same tiny bikini she wore in the hot tub tonight. I thought the vein in John B’s forehead was going to burst when he saw her. I suddenly realized I was sporting a hard on and her eyes were locked on it, making me harder. I yanked the comforter up over my waist to conceal myself but the damage was done. She wasn’t hiding her curiosity.

“W-what are you doing in here, Y/N?” I asked, trying to slow my racing heart. All the blood in my body seemed to be racing to my dick and I couldn’t stop it. She looked like a fucking wet dream.

“I just wanted to check on you. See if you needed anything.” She said with fake innocence, batting her lashes at me as she rounded the bed and sat on the edge next to me. My hands fisted the comforter as she checked me out, not even bothering to hide her interest. Her eyes lingered on the shark tooth necklace, probably remembering the night she made it for me.

“I��m fine. Thanks.” I tried to keep my voice even but my dick was so hard it hurt. I was going to have to rub one out at least a four times tonight.

“You sure about that? Nothing bothering you?” Her eyes moved down to my waist where I was clutching the comforter. Why was she doing this? The ultimate forbidden fruit offering herself up on a silver platter.

“Nope.” I swallowed hard.

“Okay.” Her brows furrowed, obviously not buying it. I watched as she reached behind her back and untied her top, letting it fall freely and exposing her perfect tits to me. I looked away, heat coursing through my body.

“Y/N, what are you doing?” I bit out. She took my hand, placing it over one of her tits and making me squeeze.

“Seizing the opportunity.” Her voice is soft and seductive, reminding me that I am not a strong man. Her hand falls from mine as I start to squeeze and pinch her nipple, rolling it between two fingers. I wanted to pinch her clit next. How wet would she be right now for me?

“We can’t do this.” I pull my hand away and she gives a small pout.

“Why not?” She tries to pull the comforter back but I don’t let her. I fix her with a knowing look, trying to keep my resolve from slipping.

“You know why. You’re like my sister.” I spit the words like they leave a bad taste in my mouth but she only chuckles, getting to her feet then throwing her leg over me to straddle me. I throw my hands up, sinking against the headboard as far as I can.

“You don’t look at me like a sister.” She leans in and whispers in my ear, her hands against my bare chest.

“I’m getting all this male attention when I’ve only ever wanted yours, JJ.” I fight to catch my breath but I can’t. My dick was jabbed into her thigh and I could feel the heat from her pussy.

“Stop.” I pant, wishing I had the strength to push her away.

“But you’re so hard, JJ. I can feel you.” His sultry voice in my ear as my eyes almost rolling back in my head. I can’t move my hands from their spot fisting the comforter or I’m liable to shove her on her back and eat that forbidden pussy like it’s my last meal.

“John B.” I bite out, shuddering when her lips ghost over my cheek and down my neck.

“This isn’t about him. This is about me and you and what’s coming. What’s been coming.” She kisses my neck just once and my restraint withers away by half. I swallow the lump in my throat just as her tongue swipes out and licks where she just kissed.

“He would hate me.” I rasp, feeling her tongue and teeth along my sweet spot. I had chills up and down my arms. She was pushing every single one of my buttons with her arms draped over my shoulders and her tits pressed against my chest. Her nipples were so hard against my skin, begging for my teeth.

“He would understand.” Then she bites me. Hard. It’s claiming and something inside me snaps. My arms circle her waist and I slam her down on her back on the bed, making her gasp in surprise. An animalistic sound leaves my throat as I gaze at her willing body. I couldn’t decide where I wanted to start but my cock knew.

I dive down and suck one of her pert nipples into my mouth, slapping my hand over her lips in time to muffle her cries. Her hands find my hair as I suck and bite her needy little buds one at a time until she’s withering and whimpering beneath me.

My hand slid between us and I groaned, feeling the heat and juices slipping from her already. My thumb barely swiped over her clit when there’s a pounding on my door, snapping me from my trance. I jump back, getting as far from her as I can when John B’s voice comes through the door.

“Yo, you hungry? We’re ordering pizza.” My heart was racing, I could barely register what he said as I palmed my chest. Y/N kicked me gently to get my attention.

“Yea! Pizza’s fine!” I call back.

“Okay! Have you seen Y/N? She wasn’t in her room.” John B asks and I move further away from her and her tempting tits. Her eyes narrow at me as she tries to determine what I’m going to say. God, if he hadn’t knocked on the door I would’ve fucked her. Fucked her with a house full of Pogues like she wasn’t off limits to everyone on this island.

“No, last time I seen her she was outside!” I call back, yanking on a pair of sweats and grabbing a pillow to conceal my hard on. Y/N spreads her legs and slides her delicate hand down her body, slowly running the tip of her finger over her clit until she panting softly. Oh god.

My dick jerks with the need to be buried inside something hot and wet.

“Okay, I’ll check outside.” John B’s voice makes me jump again, my nerves fucking shot.

“Okay! I’ll come help!” I hear his disappearing footsteps and I move to run after him when she slips her bikini bottoms to the side, revealing a glistening bare cunt.

All the air leaves my lungs and I step back until my back meets the wall, my jaw hanging open and my knees damn near giving out. She whimpers softly, circling her clit and gathering her wetness on her fingers before plunging a finger inside herself.

“Cum with me, JJ.” She moans under her breath, adding a second finger to her clenching hole.

“Nope. Nope. I can’t do this.” I feel like I’m having a heart attack as I make a mad dash for my bathroom, shutting myself inside just as I hear her rapidly approaching footsteps. I lock the door and plant my back against, hearing her curse on the other side.

“I won’t stop, JJ. I won’t.” I groan, hearing the determination in her voice before she walks away.

I quickly shove my sweats and boxers down, fisting my cock hard as the picture of her fingering herself plays on loop in my head. I could hear how wet she was. Her pussy should’ve been sucking on my cock, not her fingers.

I barely stroke myself three times and I cum harder than I have in a very long time, unable to catch my breath as I realize just how royally fucked I am.

[il3x]

Y'know, if I ever actually did something with Penumbra (sophia/vic), I'd take the "Steven was predatory or abusive to Sophia in a hidden-in-plain-sight way" trigger theory and run with it. I generally prefer physical confrontation trigger theories, but this gets you a Shadow Stalker based around this line:

“If it weren’t for all the crying and the complaining, I would almost be glad Leviathan had attacked the city.  Tear away that fucking ridiculous veneer that covers everything.  Get rid of those fucking fake smiles and social niceties and daily routines that everyone hides behind.”

Tear away that veneer. This Sophia interpretation would be convinced that all kindness or politeness is covering up brutality, either theirs or someone else's, and pride herself on doing away with this masquerade (read: openly being a dick). She'd also believe, from personal experience, that families and hero teams both are primed to conceal abuse.

And then you have the Dallons and New "Transparancy" Wave.

Sophia doesn't buy for one minute that they're really accountable. The more open and loving they make their public image, the more convinced she is that they're hiding something. This is kinda fun already with the Wards working parallel with New Wave, but not outright teaming up - she's keeping an eye on them, trying to justify her convictions. She's more than a little self-satisfied when she comes across Glory Girl on one of her extrajudicial torture excursions.

Now you can bounce her off Victoria in a whole bunch of ways. There's something to be done with how Vic uses makeup to hide wounds and give the illusion of invulnerability, for sure... there's also the fact that Sophia would not - having mentally categorised Victoria as "strong" - write off Vic's trigger as insignificant, even if Vic herself was writing it off as such. She'd also be puzzled as to why Victoria didn't lash out in response to her family's (cough, Carol's, cough) passive-aggression towards Vic and Amy. "I've seen you out there. You're not weak, and you're not some spineless coward. I thought you had self-respect. Why don't you do something? Throw their ugliness back in their faces, make them fucking see it."

Funnily enough, she would write Amy off as weak... that's gonna be fun, if she's still around to see the S9 arc play out in any capacity.

Anyways, yeah, I dunno. Just a fun relationship layer. I really like bumping early-Worm Shadow Stalker and Glory Girl up against one another's families.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Education

A/N: okay, this fourth installment is unusual because I’ve decided to split it into two parts. Otherwise it would be enormously long and rambly. Or maybe I’m making a mistake? Idk. I just couldn’t justify skipping the details, given that the whole idea of this fic is the education, it wouldn’t be responsible or realistic of me to take those pieces out. So, I hope it doesn’t bore you to death or read like a sex education textbook. enjoy!

Warnings: kink

——-

Lesson #4: A visceral Introduction To Kink (pt 1/2)

“Knock, knock!” Amelia peeked her head into one of the lounge rooms on the third floor of the Dirty Hit offices. “You alright, boys?” she greeted as her eyes scanned the faces in the room. The smile on her face dropped when she saw that George, Adam, and Ross were in there without Matty.

“Hey, Amelia.” George smiled, prompting Ross to look up from his phone and give her a friendly wave. “What brings you here?”

“Is…Matty not around?” she directed her question to the empty center of the room.

“Afraid not, love.” George mumbled, and instantly received pointed stares from the three guys in the room. He exhaled audibly then added, “He, ummm…left not too long ago. To- go on a- date,” stuttering through his statement with a look that Amelia recognized, unmistakably, as pity. 

She did her best to conceal the sting in her heart behind as blank an expression as she could muster. It dawned on her, in that moment, how foolish she’d been. She’d come all the way to his place of work, for no good reason, without even bothering to check if he was there first. The prospect of getting to see him had propelled her through the busy streets of the city, with the speed of wind, and occupied her thinking so completely that she hadn’t stopped to ask herself why she was even doing this. She resented the clarity that disappointment brought her in hindsight. Wishing that the earth underneath her feet would open up and swallow her whole, she looked around at the guys and tried to think of a way to gracefully bow out of this interaction.

“Did you need him for something?” George asked, to fill the awkward silence.

She wanted to lash out. To tell George that he shouldn’t have said anything. To ask a million follow up questions about this ‘date’ that Matty is on. Instead, she smiled meekly, “Ummm…I just- wanted to drop off something of his.” she lied.

George scanned her head to toe, noticing that she was empty-handed. He decided that to point that out, or press her lie any further, would be too cruel. Especially given what he was about to do to her. “Well,” he shifted in his seat. “Come in for a moment, will you? Sit down, lets catch up.” he patted the empty seat next to him.

The pit in her stomach made Amelia nauseous; she just wanted to go home and cry into her pillow, but she trudged forward, determined to prove to herself that she was not, in fact, shaken by Matty’s dating. “I guess I have a moment.” she shrugged and sat on the couch next to George.

“Can I- ask you something?” George spoke again after a moment. Adam shook his head warningly.

“George” Ross called his name in an attempt to stop him, making Amelia sense that this was all premeditated.

“Sure, George.” Her response sounded more like a question than an answer.

“What are you and Matty doing, exactly?”

Ross and Adam both looked away immediately, each uncomfortable in their seats.

“E-excuse me?” she feigned ignorance to buy herself a moment to think.

George turned to look her in the eyes. She could see that this conversation was making him as uncomfortable as everyone else in the room. “You’re sleeping together.” He stated firmly.

Amelia’s mouth hung open. She shook her head in disbelief. “I can’t believe he told you, guys!”

George placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. “He didn’t, babe.”

“Well, then, how-”

“You two aren’t as subtle as you think.”

She turned to look at Adam, who was blushing and nodding along reluctantly.

“We think its a bad idea.” George spoke.

“Mhm. We- we love you both so much.” Ross mumbled then took a moment to clear his throat. “But this’ll only end badly. Someone always gets hurt.”

“And it aint gonna be Matty.” George added, receiving chastising looks from his bandmates. 

“How- how dare you! You don’t know that. You don’t know that I won’t be the one to break his heart!”

“I- I do, though. Sorry, I don’t mean it like that, but Matty isn’t really thinking with his heart these days…if you know what I mean.”

“You’re such a dickhead, you know that? What? Just cuz I’m a woman, my heart has to be in my vagina?”

George winced at her words, physically squirming in his seat. “That’s not-“

“I have to go. But thanks for the talk, guys, really.”

***

Amelia had been walking around, aimlessly, for hours. Even as her indignation had fizzled out, George’s words still rang in her head. Was he right? Has she made a mistake? Did she even know what, exactly, she felt about Matty? She wanted. Desperately, to exonerate herself from George’s accusations, but the fact that she wasn’t sure troubled her. No matter how hard she tried to push her questions to the back of her mind and declare that the boys were overreacting, deep down, she worried.

How is she to know if her feelings are real, or if it’s just good sex? It’s not like she’s had non-emotional sexual connections before. It’s not even like she’s had good sex before. That’s what this whole arrangement was about. Her lack of experience, reluctance around casual hook-up, and Matty providing a safe, uncomplicated opportunity for her to learn. So much for uncomplicated.

Matty is her friend first and foremost. Of course she likes him. She always has. You can’t be friends with someone you don’t like. But does she like him, like him? Or does she just think he’s the sort of person you’d be friends with? Is she attracted to him? The man is objectively beautiful. And now that she’s seen him naked- how could she not be attracted to him? But she’s attracted to a lot of people that she doesn’t have feelings for. Robert Downey Jr. Is hot as Iron Man and as a mediocre Sherlock Holmes. But she doesn’t have feelings for Robert Downey Jr. Then again, she’s not friends with and also fucking, the marvel megastar.

She sighed, pausing on the sidewalk to fish her phone out of her pocket. She found the search engine app and typed in “how to figure out if you-“ her eyes skipped over the first auto-complete suggestion “have cancer,” “have Covid,” feeling the sting of humiliation, she swallowed and finished typing, “have feelings for someone.”

Do her thoughts return to him regularly? Sure. But that could just be that he was the first person to ever make her cum. Surely, her brain just associates him with pleasure. What’s the science on orgasm drunkness? Does she feel safe with him? He’s one of her oldest friends. She’s known him at his best and his worst. He’s stayed at her house, eaten her food, and now, he holds her hand gently, he bends over backwards making sure she’s comfortable before he initiates anything, regularly checks in with her to make sure she’s enjoying herself, and the one time when she wasn’t, he literally had his dick in her mouth, on the verge of an orgasm, and he still stopped as soon as she needed him to. If that’s not safe, then nothing is.

Thoughts of that night rushed back to her. His hand over hers, his self-satisfied smile when he saw the look of pleasure on her face, his firm grip on her hips to keep her from squirming away, and the gentle kiss he planted on her skin as she struggled to catch her breath in the aftermath.

She felt her stomach tighten. The internet was no help. And, now, all she wants is to see Matty. He probably knows all about love; he writes about it for a living. She could ask him. Or was that just another excuse she’s telling herself just to find a reason to see him? Damn you George Daniel, and your seeds of doubt! She looked up from her screen, resuming her aimless drifting.

She wondered what Matty was doing right now, and if he wanted to see her too, before remembering that, hours ago, George had said something about him having a date. Shocked by the lump in her throat growing at thought of Matty with some…bitch, she caught herself, “5. You feel Jealous of other people in their life.” Well, fuck.

She stopped to look at her phone again. Aggressively scrolling away from the search app to avoid having to look at that ominous list, she pulled up the text messaging app and tapped on Matty’s name.

“You home? Free?”

“Yeah, just ordered pizza. Want some?”

***

“So, you look all dressed up. Going anywhere tonight?” Her cheerful affectation sounded a little too obvious. She wasn’t as good at faking casualty as she’d thought. Hearing her own shallow tone, Amelia wondered if she should just skip the small talk and get straight to the questions.

Matty turned away from the tv, taking a moment to register what she’d said. “What? Oh, this” he looked down at his pink button down. “No, no. I- uh. Just got home not too long ago, actually.”

His date. Why was he home alone, then. Did it not go well? And why is she inexplicably happy about the possibility?

Matty stood up, clicking the “pause” button on the tv remote and grabbing a slice of pizza from the coffee table. “You wan’ a drink?” He asked, with a bulge in his cheek as he chewed his food on one side of his mouth. “Something to wash down all this food.”

“Sure, I’ll have a drink.”

He disappeared into the hallway, momentarily, returning seconds later and standing in the doorway. “Are we gonna have sex tonight?”

Amelia shook from head to toe, startled, both by his sudden return into the room and his question.

“Christ, Mia. Calm down.” He chuckled.

“Wh-what did you just ask me? And….don’t call me that!”

“Asked if we’re gonna have sex.”

She stared at him, wide-eyed and speechless; desperately pushing her brain to form a single thought, but Matty had effectively rendered her dumbfounded. Eventually, she uttered, “wh-why?”

“Well, I had a couple of drinks while I was out tonight. I wanna know if I should keep drinking or not. If we’re gonna have sex, im not gonna keep drinking.”

She smiled, touched by his consideration, even if it was blunt and rough around the edges.

“Is that smile meant to be a yes?” He quirked an eyebrow, leaning against the doorframe.

“I- umm- I-“

“I’ll just stick with coke, then. Keeping our options open.” He winked and disappeared out of the room again, leaving Amelia frozen in place, blushing, and considerably sweaty.

***

Amelia’s eyes stealthily glanced at Matty before darting away. He’d ended up on the same couch as her when he wanted to show her a few videos on his phone, and ever since then, she’d been acutely aware of his body. His hair ruffled in all directions and flattened where his head came into contact with the couch pillows, the rumbling and movement of his chest when he laughed, his slender fingers gripping the phone in one hand, and scrolling with the other. She attempted to ask him about love, four separate times. But talked herself out of it each time.

“M-Matty?” She blurted, shakily, before she could stop herself again.

“Hmm,” he hummed without looking up from his phone.

“You- have a lot of sex, right?” That was the worst possible way to initiate this conversation, but there’s no taking it back. She had to power through.

Her throat went dry as she watched Matty’s eyes widen and his brows furrow. Still not looking away from the screen, he took a moment to consider her question. “Sure. Unless you’re slut shaming me. Which….would be fair, I guess.” He giggled to himself, finally setting his phone down. “Why? Is this your way of saying you’ve decided you wanna have sex tonight?”

“No!” She panicked, regretting it instantly. “I mean, not about that! That’s not what I - Though , I mean, if you’re offering, I wouldn’t-“

Matty watched her blunder and chase her tail for what felt like an eternity, before finally interrupting. “I have no idea what’s going on right now. Do you wanna have sex or not? And you can say ‘no’ you get that, right? We’re allowed to just hang out, Mia, we’re friends, remember?”

“It’s Amelia.” She asserted, less firm than she’d intended. “And, yeah, of course we’re friends. I wasn’t- wasn’t afraid of saying ‘no.’” She paused, panting lightly like she’d just walked up a flight of stairs.

“Okay, then. Cuz I have some ideas.” A wide smile flashed across his face.

“Ideas?”

“Stuff we might wanna try. Though, I guess I should ask…how kinky are we?”

“I’m sorry, what?” She had no idea how she got to be in the middle of this conversation.

“Sorry, is there a more ladylike term I’m not aware of? I’m asking if you like specific things. Like…sexual fantasies. Fetishes- though I guess if you believe Freud, ‘Fetish’ s a derogatory term. Generally, speaking, I try to divorce my sex life for any Freudian politics, though.” Matty’s mouth twitched in a faint smile and he seemed to disappear into his own mind, off on a tangent about Freudian psycho-analysis. When he returned into the present moment, he looked Amelia in the eyes again, “ Do you have- shall we say ‘alternative’ sexual preferences that you’d like us to practice? That’s funny actually we should replace the word ‘alternative’ with kinky for everyday terms. ‘I’m Matty from The 1975 and I make kinky music.’” He giggled.

“I- don’t know.” She finally responded, barely audible, and her eyes escaping his.

“You don’t know?” Correcting the hint of confusion in his voice lest she construe it as judgement. “Alright, let me ask you this: is there anything that you’d like to try that we haven’t done yet?”

She shrugged, suddenly feeling humiliated, maybe for the first time in Matty’s presence.

He sensed the shift in her demeanor and became or desperate to reassure her, his tone more urgent. “Let’s put it this way: when you touch yourself, what do you imagine? What do you think about?”

She wanted to tell him that ever since they’ve started sleeping together, all she can ever think about is him. His touch, his body, how he makes her feel, but she knew Matty. She’d never let him have the satisfaction of knowing that. “Random things…the thing is though…that I’ve never actually tried them. So, I don’t know if they would feel good or if they just seem like they’re good in my imagination. I’m not dead inside, I have- ideas. I just have- nothing to compare them to. So they’re just ideas.”

Matty became quiet for a long moment, taking in her words, and considering what she’d expressed. His quietness made her uneasy. In the silence, she felt her words linger and echo louder and louder the more time went by without him responding.

“Okay…I think I get what you’re saying.” He said, slowly standing up and holding his hand out to her to take. “And I might have an idea.”

***

Amelia stared down at the spread that Matty has assembled on the bed in front of her. A flogger, a crop, a cane, nipple clamps, hand cuffs, a strange-looking object that looked like a pizza slicer, but with spikes on it, a vibrator, and an old tie of his, completely undone. The options made her feel slightly light-headed. “Sorry- umm, could you repeat that?”

“A scale, Amelia. It’s not that complicated. Kink is visceral, not cerebral. You can’t know without trying. It’s in your body, not just your head. So, I think we scale things. Any toy you say on here. I won’t use it on you without using it on myself first.”

She finally exhaled the breath that she’d been holding in since they’d walked into the bedroom.

“If it looks okay to you after you’ve seen in on my body, you can hold it and try it on me yourself. See what it feels like to be on the controlling end.”

She nodded, mostly reflexively.

“If that feels alright to you, and you’re certain you understand exactly what each instrument does, I’ll do it on you, but, like, somewhere safe. Completely clothed, or maybe on your hand. And, if and only if, that feels okay and you would like to try it during sex for real, then I’ll use it on you in bed. How’s that sound?”

She was excited now. “Sounds amazing, Matty. When do we start? Now?”

He giggled, relieved that her embarrassment and reluctance were no longer in the way. “Sure. Where do you wanna start?”

She chose the spiky pizza cutter. “This”

She saw a glimmer flash across Matty’s eyes. “The wartenberg wheel. We’re diving in head first, then. Alright.” He picked it up with on hand, sticking his other hand out and opening it flat in front of her. “So, the way this one works is, you see these pins at the ends of it? You essentially move it across the skin, the way you’d use a pizza cutter to cut pizza, you know how it rolls and the blade slices through the crust? Yeah. It’s like that. Except, in this case, instead of slicing you open, the pins on the wheel just prick your skin.”

“And- people find that sexy?”

Matty held in a chuckle. “Some do, yeah.”

“Show me.”

Matty lowered the instrument until it touched his open palm. “Here’s the trick with the Wartenberg though,” the wheel spun as he dragged it across his palm. “The faster you move it, the less painful. If you want it to hurt; really dig deep into the skin and prickle and linger, you gotta go really slow, give the skin time to feel it.”

Amelia felt herself break a sweat, her forehead perspiring.

“How’s it look?”

“In-interesting concept. Can I try it on you?”

“Eager student.” He smirked. “Sure, be my guest.”

Shakily, Amelia dragged the wheel across his palm, watching closely to make sure it didn’t draw blood. She’d realized that she’d been too focused on the instrument that she didn’t get to see Matty’s face as he felt it. “can I- do it again?”

“As Many times as you want, Mia.”

She rolled her eyes, then stared directly at him as she dragged the wheel across his skin a second time watching an eyebrow twitch slightly.

“Doesn’t seem so bad.”

Matty laughed. “I haven’t told you the worst part yet.”

She furrowed her brows “what?”

“This goes on the nipples.”

“Excuse me?!” Her jaw dropped. “What goes on the? No way!”

Matty unbuttoned his shirt, sliding it down his bag and tossing it to the floor.

“Go on; do it.” He pointed both hands at each of his nipples.

“I don’t- wanna hurt you.”

“It’s okay. Im giving you permission to; which, funnily enough, is the whole point of kinky sex. Weird shit that feels good cuz you want it. Fuckin hell. Im impressing even myself as a teacher.”

She let the wheel hover over his skin and dragged it across as lightly as possible, holding her breath the whole time. Dissatisfied with her motion, Matty place his hand over hers, pushing the pinwheel deeper in his skin as he dragged it over his own nipple, groaning when he felt it, and making her jerk up to look at him. “Was it bad? Does it hurt?”

He smiled, “kinda the point, darlin.’”

She hated that she found it attractive. Him being so close, instructing her, being gentle and patient with her, offering her his entire body to do with it as she chose, groaning and calling her ‘darlin’’ she’d never seen this side of him as a friend.

“Matty, I- gotta be honest.” She spoke hesitantly, watching the changes in his facial expression as he listened. “I don’t think the pin on nipple thing is really for me. Is that okay?”

He laughed. “Of course. And, now we have one less thing to consider.”

“It’s just- it seems so uncomfortable I-“

“Listen, every body is different. We all have different responses to external stimuli- what we find painful and what we enjoy. How much pain we can tolerate in any given moment. Even that can fluctuate from day to day, and how much pleasure or pain our body is already feeling. Just because I like something, doesn’t mean you will too. And just because you don’t like one type of pain or pleasure, doesn’t mean you won’t like any. You just have to find what works for you, does that make sense?”

He paused deliberately, giving her a moment to digest his words. “God, I sounded like an awful lecturer just then. Or a…motivational sexual speaker.”

To his delight, she giggled, confirming for him that she wasn’t scared or overwhelmed.

“Shall we carry on?”

They carried out the same process with varying degrees of progression on each instrument. Some things, Amelia enjoyed very much, tested on herself, and approved for later use, and some were excluded almost instantly. While others took a bit of trying. The cane, for example, excited and terrified her. It wasn’t until she had Matty undressed, on all fours, and hit his naked body with it. Watching hun jolt forward and hiss in pain, as the welt grew a bright, hot red stripe on across his butt that she decided she would temporarily eliminate it, with the possibility of trying it out on a later date.

This, Matty told her, is the difference between “hard and soft limits.” Hard limits were complete and absolute ‘no.’ ‘I don’t consent to this being used on my body now, or ever.’ ‘Soft limits,’ were the temporary nos. Future maybes. Or occasional yeses. Things you would only do sometimes. Not a regular or a staple, but you’re open to the idea of it.

Once they’d concluded this experimental learning session, Matty turned towards her. “Okay, ready to have some real fun now?”

[saintjosie]

Ok from a transfemme to a trans woman - how do you makeup? I've been wanting to get into it for so long but the first time I tried was an absolute disaster, and I can't find any tutorials that go through the absolute beginner basics

tbh, you have to just keep on doing it even though it’s a complete disaster. i started my transition in 2020 but i was doing makeup and “cross dressing” for nearly 8 years before i considered myself to be trans. and it was years before i was able to do makeup to the point where i felt good about the way that i looked every time i did it.

that being said, there’s no guide that’s gonna be able to tell you everything you need to know but i’ll try to give as many tips and jumping points i can in order for you to try out things and figure out what to look up.

- make up is different for everyone - everyone has a different face shape, eye shape, cheekbones, jawline, complexion, etc. and the way to do makeup that looks good for you specifically is going to vary a shit ton based on those things. when you look up stuff, look up how to do makeup for a certain set of features. figure out what face shape you have, skin types for foundation, etc.

- there’s no one right way to do it - i do a bunch of things that are “technically incorrect” because i’ve tried it the “right” way and it just didn’t work for me. so i figured out something that i liked instead and make that a technique i used regularly. also even though people will say you’re supposed to do certain things, a different technique might yield a different result. as an example, conventional wisdom will say use primer, foundation, then a translucent or setting powder, then a setting spray. recently a very popular technique has been using moisturizer, then setting powder, then setting spray, THEN putting on all your other makeup and supposedly it lasts longer. there’s literally no “correct” way, it’s just whatever works.

- blend the shit out of everything. this is the one technique which pretty much applies for everyone. blend blend blend blend. i like using a beauty sponge. run it under the tap for a second (literally a second, you want it moist not wet) to wet the sponge and then use dabbing motions to blend your makeup.

- asking for help at makeup stores helps A LOT. i’ve had really really good experiences asking for help at makeup stores even though i was super uncomfortable with the idea at first. i found that a lot of people were judgement free and even very gender affirming even when i was presenting masc. and i live in the south!

okay now to more granular stuff - here’s the basics of what i would consider to go into a “full face” makeup routine - primer, foundation, concealer, highlight/contour, setting. eye makeup would add additional things - eyeliner, mascara/lashes, eyeshadow. lips add additional things as well - lipstick, lipliner. ill try to go through the entire process and add my fav products or two. (i should probably make this into a video series tbh)

1) primer - it protects your skin and makes your makeup stay longer and look better. use it.

- my fav: the ordinary - high fluidity primer

2) color correcting concealer - an optional step for transfemmes like me with darker colored facial hair. using a reddish or orangish color correcting concealer or lipstick over the areas where your facial hair shows through the skin will neutralize the shadow that shows through foundation. add a little bit, sparingly, blend with a sponge.

- my fav: la girl color correcting concealer orange

(the best one of these is made by dragun beauty who is a trans woman…but who did blackface…so don’t buy her shit)

3) foundation - figuring out your color is hard. look up a guide, ask in store, try a bunch of different ones. there’s a difference in coverages. full coverage means its made to cover everything. buildable means you need to apply and blend a few times and is good for if you don’t want heavy coverage everywhere. don’t use too much otherwise you’ll look like a plastic doll. unless you want to look like that then go nuts. blend the shit out of it so that it doesn’t cake up.

- my fav: juvias place bc it’s full coverage and actually has my skin tone as an asian person

4) concealer - this is different from color corrector and i usually do this after foundation. this is just a touch up for any blemishes, dark spots under eyes, pimples, shit like that. just use a tiny tiny dab and blend. this is also hard to get your color right so get help if you can.

- my fav: colourpop concealer, or nars concealer if you’re a fancy bitch

5) blush - i don’t really use blush much but blush is one of those things where you should look up a guide for how your face is shaped. positioning blush in different ways will help shape your face in different ways.

6) contouring - okay this is the hard one. i can’t tell you how to contour your face because this is one that varies a shit ton from person to person. the basic gist of it tho is that you are using a contouring stick, bronzer, or palette to add shadows to your face. when you put on foundation it makes everything an even color and makes you look flat, so contouring is basically drawing those shadows back in to contour your face. you can do this in so many ways even for your own face so imo, you experiment and see how you like it. typical places for contour to go will be under my cheekbones, on my nose bridge, sometimes under my jaw to slim the face.

- my fav: i can’t remember i’ll come back to this one

also i drew this diagram a long time ago to help myself get the idea of where i wanted to put it on my own face and i went from there. the brown was contour and the other color was highlight. i don’t do it like this at all anymore but it helped to get the basic idea at first.

7) highlight - the opposite of contour where you’re making certain parts of your face brighter to contrast the darker parts. typically goes on your cheekbones and nose.

- my fav: watts up by benefit

8) translucent powder/setting powder - okay so this one can either go after foundation, before blush, contour, highlighter, or here. basically it’s a powder that goes evenly over your whole face to help your makeup stay where it is. personally i usually do it after foundation instead of here but either works. basically you take a powder brush (the big floofy ones) and then put it all over lightly.

- my fav: nyx hd finishing powder

9) setting spray - it’s a spray that you put on last to help your makeup stay where it is. shake up the bottle real good and just mist it all over.

- my fav: tarte shape tape stay spray

okay i’m tired now and that’s plenty for now. i’ll update with lip and eye stuff later.

[444you]

my fairy beauty routine 🤍. minimalist

my journey with makeup and all things beauty.

as a child i used to be extremely confident. but as i got into middle school and high school, that dimmed a bit. i was definitely less confident. freshman year i wore a full face of makeup, it was thing back then. i absolutely loved it. but as the years passed, i ended up not liking it as much. i didn’t like the feeling of it on my face. i also felt too dependent on it which scared me. now with my hair, i used to wear bright colored sew ins as a child. colorful box braids. all of that. high school i always straightened my hair. now i tend to have it natural or bohemian braids.

hair advice for all types

get hair perfume that matches ur desire scent. i lean towards sweet scents like cupcakes and cookies. so i go for hair perfumes that have the same type. do not put actual perfume on your hair. hair glitter is another. i have this thing where i love to look mystical and fairy like. so if i have my hair straightened, i’ll put some of that in there.

i happened to bleach and dye my hair a lot. atleast back then. so i focus on wearing it natural as much as i can. i don’t really use store bought products. i go the natural route. aloe vera plants is my love. i cut them in three or four giant pieces. put it in lukewarm water, soak it for a few hours to a day. this gets the yellow sap of the plant, please don’t skip that part because it can cause your hair or skin to be itchy. when i’m done, i cut them up into smaller pieces. put it in a container and refrigerate it until i’m ready to use it. now i’ll either do one of two things: dam my hair with water and put the aloe in my hair, let it sit there for a hour or two then rinse it. or i’ll just put it in my hair which i’m in the shower and wash it out immediately. i do that because i also use aloe as a shampoo. another thing i use as a shampoo is the conditioner tubes in hair dye boxes. which i need to stop because i will buy a box of hair dye, throw it away and use the tube 😭. i use that and aloe vera because my hair always comes out its prettiest doing those two and it makes it easy to detangle. i also believe i mentioned this before in my kalogeras post, i use this homemade mask once a week. its a mixture of egg, mayo, and olive oil. this is just what i do to give extra care to my hair due to the heat and bleach damage. however it’s not necessary because i haven’t done it in a few months. and it’s still got healthier with the aloe.

now to makeup

i tend to go for less. i can never find my foundation or concealer shade, if i do. i don’t like the feel of it. same goes for tined mosturizer. so i try to use as less products. when i watched euphoria, i loved the makeup looks. ill use the clinique overnight face mask, it just feels like a soft lotion. it doesn’t do much of a difference either but it makes me feel refreshed. i’ll use the glossier lidstar eyeshadow, it feels very soft almost if it’s a lipstick but softer. i’m not sure if that makes sense but it doesn’t feel like eyeshadow. so i put two or three dots in my inner corner. i use the lily one. it’s like a shimmery lilac. then i use this highlighter from shein called julystar. i applied a little bit so i have to apply a bit more which i like. because i tend to mess up alot. so i’ll put some of that my lids. it doesn’t give much of a difference just a look of glitter on ur lids. then i’ll put a dot on my nose. the higher cheekbones. then any lipgloss is fine. and any mascara. just pick one that visibly makes ur lashes longer than before.

an example:

so almost this except for the liner, foundation, concealer.

now with lotion. i use vanilla cashmere. but i might go ahead and get the cake beauty lotion. i haven’t tried that one but i heard good reviews. i also love sweet scents like that. for perfumes, i go the beauty supply stores. they have the best perfume oils. they last long and they smell better than the expensive ones. the titles are sus tho icl 😭 the best one in my opinion is pink p 🐱 ssy.

[acurlygirlamy1]

"Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said."

Author- Camille Rainville who has a blog called Writings of a Furious Woman. ❤

https://writingsofafuriouswoman.wordpress.com/2017/12/09/be-a-lady-they-said/

[femmefatalevibe]

Tips on what to wear/buy for Marilyn Monroe/doll like makeup? I was told I have those types of features and I’d love to enhance it or balance it out! Not sure which makeup style that would be. But soft looks/ and makeup “non makeup” type looks work best for me. Thank you~

Hi love! I would say the following makeup products can help generate/enhance this look:

Lightweight, full-coverage foundation/concealer (I love the NYX Can't Stop, Won't Stop concealer)

A light sweep of a golden-peachy blush (Nars Orgasm would be great for this look, but it depends on your skin tone)

A light champagne highlight on the tops of your cheekbones and under the arches of your brows (I recommend something like the Westman Atelier Lit Up Highlight Stick)

Brow Pomade/Powder/Pencil that matches your brow color to fill in any gaps (I love the NYX Fill N' Fluff pencil)

A shimmering champagne (lid and below the brow – I would say to go with Stila Kitten Eye Shadow) and light brown (crease – NYX's J'Adore would be perfect for this) eyeshadow

Black or dark brown eyeliner (depending on your desired look/hair and skin coloring) for a thin winged liner look. I swear by the PAT McGRATH LABS PERMA PRECISION Liquid Eyeliner

Lengthening mascara (something like e.l.f Lash N' Roll Mascara)

Red lipstick with a golden glow/undertones (Nars Immortal Red immediately comes to mind)

Hope this helps xx

[lalulutres]

"Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said."

Author- Camille Rainville who has a blog called Writings of a Furious Woman. ❤

[erisolkat]

um. unsolicited makeup advice under the cut btw.

- blush placement is fucking vital you want it to be higher up around your eyes and your temple area and to blend it closer to your nose from there. put a bit on the nose as well it looks cute. and blend it out as much as possible or it looks bad.

- if you want a natural look go for all neutral colors like brown and black and beige and muted red. if you want a fun look pick up some cheap concealer a couple shades too light and use that for eyeshadow primer. i promise it makes it so much easier to do eyeshadow just put a swipe on your upper lid and blend it out then use fun colors

- dont underestimate the power of dollar store makeup some of my best makeup is dollar store makeup. expensive does not equal good often its shit quality and youre only paying for the brand name!

- try out makeup tutorials from diff parts of the world! some of my favorite makeup tips came from like douyin and shit

- for a more edgy look use black eyeliner around the eye (go light on the upper lid go heavy on the lower) then use a liquid black eyeliner to draw exaggerated lashes under it. for a softer more natural look use brown eyeshadow for liner around the eye (go light on both except at the outer corner go really heavy there) then use the eyeshadow to draw little lashes under it.

- look at your irises. figure out the shade then find a color wheel and look for the opposite. get that shade in shadow and apply a bit in the corners of your eyes to make them pop

- put highlighter in the corners of your eyes and blend it up into your shadow it makes it look nice

- you really dont want your contour to be too dark it will make you look like you have a beard. literally just get a nude palette from the dollar store and use a shade a couple shades darker than your skin. if you have dark skin get a darker shade of concealer

- if you have dark skin purples and oranges (depending on whether you have cool or warm undertones, just kinda fuck around w both see what looks good) are your friend. if a light skin person says a makeup color is weird and fucked up and looks bad its probably made for you not them.

- look for makeup influencers with a similar shade of skin to you when buying products they know whats chalky and ashy and what looks good. but be generally wary of light pink blushes they usually either dont show up or are pure glitter and not that useful as blush or look chalky as shit

- if you have hooded eyes and eyeliner is fucking you up dont close your eyes when you do it. or do a puppy eye rather than a cat eye (rounded liner that comes to a little point at the corner) puppy eyes look good even if your eyes arent hooded actually mess around see what you like

- find makeup looks you like online and fuck around try to recreate them youll often reverse engineer good techniques from doing this

- sometimes teenagers from 2010 in their bedrooms using one of those old elf 100 color palettes have good advice actually. but sometimes its horrible and you absolutely should not listen to it

- if you put eyeliner in your waterline (pull down your lower lid and out it in the wet edge of the lid, pull up the upper lid and do the same) make sure to wash it out thoroughly or else itll build up and fuck your eyes up trust me

- you can do whatever you want forever

reblog w your own tips if you want

[ruinedbybooksandanime]

Jk about my last post. I completely forgot that I had chapter 3 done already and was working on chapter four 💀

Here’s the 3rd chapter! Hope y’all enjoy 😊

Summary: Ravaen seeks to protect the one family member who has always protected her, her brother. It’s a risk she has to take but it’s one she will. The results might not be the desired ones.

Warnings: Foul language, alcohol usage, talk of violence

Word Count: 4580

The Raven’s Claws

Chapter Three

Azriel’s eyes are terrifyingly cold as he burns a hole in the wall at hearing the information I just finished telling him. I don’t speak, taking a long drink of hard liquor. When he’d gotten here, I was already pretty deep into my bottle. It helped with the pain, both physical and mental, and I had barely given him a greeting before slouching into the chair. Even though my back is screaming in agony at how I’m sitting, I don’t move an inch.

“Have you figured out what poison they plan to use?” Are his first words after at least ten minutes of sullen silence.

I scoff, tipping the bottle toward him. “Do you know how many grown poisons aren’t in season right now? It’s winter. Everything is dead.”

“What would your father use?”

“Belladonna, hemlock, nightshade. The list goes on and on,” I roll my eyes, not caring if I sound hateful.

Azriel’s gaze turns to me and he looks me over. Those hazel eyes are piercing. It feels like he’s looking into my soul. “Humor me then. If you were going to poison the most powerful High Lord in history, what would you use?”

“That’s easy,” I mumble. “Jimsonweed. It’s a powerful hallucinogenic. I would only use enough to disorient Rhysand, make him see things that aren’t there, before striking with my blade. It would be enough to disarm him and make him unable to wield his power.”

“I see,” he looks contemplative as he takes in my words. “Is it rare?”

“Rare?” I tilt my head a bit but then it hits me. No one wanted to sell the poison they were trying to buy. “At this time of year it doesn’t grow and the plants are hard to come by unless you live near the border of the Spring and Summer courts. So yes, it is rare.”

“So what is a similar plant that does the same?”

“There are many, many plants,” I sigh softly. “The only way to know would be to get the information from Landras. Any chance you could get one of your spies in?”

“It’d be too risky this close to the ball,” Azriel watches as I move to sit up straight and he no doubt sees the wince on my face. “You are hurt.”

Yesterday he had asked if I was hurt after seeing the bruise on my thigh and today, I actually am. I debate on telling him about the fifteen welts across my back but I just ignore his words.

“If you can’t get someone in, then I’ll have to go myself.”

“You’re hurt,” he repeats, those hazel eyes narrowed in concern. “Did they do something to you?” I hesitate just long enough for him to understand. Rage ripples across his face before it’s gone in a heartbeat, replaced with a cool mask. But those eyes, they burn with a cold fury. “What did they do?”

His words are growled and I can’t find the words I need to lie to him. I look away, unable to hold his stare. In my drunken state, I can’t hide my emotions and I know shame is written all across my features.

“My father’s preferred form of punishment is beatings,” I mutter, feeling the lashes on my back burn in response to my words. “I pissed him off this morning and his response was fifteen lashes. The bruise you saw yesterday was from something else at the beginning of this week.”

That anger is back on his face and this time he doesn’t try to conceal it. This time it’s pure murderous hatred. He grits his teeth and the next time he speaks I can hear the tremor that he tries to hide.

“He will not harm you any further,” Azriel speaks with a stern sincerity.

“Why do you even care?” I can’t help myself as the words just tumble from my lips. “It’s not like we’re friends. I’m just working for you and Rhysand to get the hell out of the Hewn City.”

He stares at me in silence for a long time. For a moment, we just look at each other and it’s almost as if a flicker of understanding haunts his eyes. I clear my throat just as he looks like he’s going to say something, halting his lips before they even move. The last thing I want is sympathy from anyone about my situation.

“What are you going to do about these allies in the other courts?” A distraction to pull him away from my home life.

Azriel sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, his muscles rippling under the shirt he’s wearing. I only notice then that he’s not wearing his Illyrian leathers and can’t help but wonder if that is a strategic move to show they trust me or if he ended up rushing here from wherever they stay when they’re not in the Court of Nightmares.

“I suppose I will need to start a deep dive into the connections Thaes has. You’re sure you don’t know who he is talking about?”

I shake my head, noting the way his eyes narrow. I had conveniently left out the fact that it was my brother meeting with these allies. “My father has many connections all across Prynthian and the continent. There are too many to even know where to begin. Is there anyone in particular who has it out with Rhysand at this time?”

“There are too many,” Azriel frowns. “I need to pinpoint which Court before wasting resources and time chasing blindly.”

It would be a wild goose chase for him to start at random and I know that it could be easily solved if he tracked down Brys. My stomach churns uncomfortably as I debate between telling him or protecting the only person in my family who matters. Eventually my mind settles and I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and focus sternly on him.

“I can help,” his brow raises, his hand waving for me to continue. “What I’m going to tell you stays in this room. You don’t mention this person to anyone. Not even Rhysand. You do not allow him to see this meeting, you can tell him everything else except for this part. Do I make myself clear? Because if this person ends up hurt or worse…” My face darkens and even his shadows cower at the power I tease. “I will wipe out this entire court.”

He stiffens at the threat, his hand resting closer to the dagger strapped to his thigh, but I don’t break his gaze. I will not back down just because of who he is. After a heart beat, Azriel nods his head and forces himself to relax even though it’s clear every part of his being is saying to attack.

“Good.” I let that little bit of power slip away, watching as his shadows slip back around him like they’re ready to protect. “My brother, Brys, is currently working with whoever these allies are. Don’t give me that look,” I snap at him at the annoyance on his face from me not telling him this earlier. “My father has blackmailed him into doing this. He would never, never, do this otherwise. He’s never had anything against you all and with it putting my family at risk, putting me at risk, he would have to be forced.”

“How can you be sure?” Azriel questions.

“Because my father blackmailed me,” I growl and let myself sink back into the chair even as it hurts my back. “He is threatening to kill Brys if I help you or fail at the ball. He knows how important we are to each other. Brys is the only member of my family who actually cares about people. He raised me.”

Azriel stays silent, just watches me carefully. He’s relaxed more now, seeming to understand where I’m coming from. I can’t help but wonder how similar his story might be to mine if the look on his face means what I think it does.

“Father didn’t tell me where he was to make sure I don’t get word out to him about anything. What he doesn’t know is that Brys and I have a way to find each other whenever we’re out in the field,” I reach into the pocket in my dress and fish out a small round sigil. I offer it to Azriel and he flips it over to examine the symbol. “Take it to the filthiest tavern you can find in any of the cities in Prythian, show it to the bartender and ask for the cheapest ale on tap. If they ask how you got that sigil, tell them you found it in the shadows. Any word they have on my brother, they will tell you.”

He looks up from the sigil, a look of subtle awe on his face. “This is…very intricate. And useful.”

“We’ve never trusted my father to not send us to our deaths. It’s a precaution,” I pull a piece of paper from my pocket and give it to him as well. “Give this to Brys when you find him. Hopefully it will keep him from trying to kill you.”

Azriel nods and slips both items into his pocket. He stands up, seeming to be satisfied with the information he’s received. “I will send word once I make contact with him. Are you going to start your task?”

“No,” his brow furrows. “I’m hurt, remember?” The smile on my face doesn’t reach my eyes no matter how much I try to convey it. “I’ll take the next few days to let myself heal while I work out what sort of poison they plan to use. Talk to Rhysand about how he wants to deal with the four lords my father met with tonight.”

Azriel nods his head and turns to leave the room. He stops by the door, hand hovering by the handle. I watch as he tilts his head as if debating on something. Azriel looks over his shoulder and a shocked expression comes over my face. There’s sadness in his eyes, so much sadness that it’s almost akin to despair.

“You’re not a pawn in this you know,” his voice is quiet, soft. “Rhys was being serious when he said you were like us, a dreamer in the Court of Nightmares.” Azriel’s eyes shift away as he glances toward the ground. “We might be working together now but I’d like to think that we could be friends in the future. Once this mess is all over.”

My heart pounds in my chest at his words as I try to think of something, anything, to say in response. He doesn’t give me the chance before he’s gone out of the room, shadows trailing behind him.

Yes, I think to myself as I stare at the door. A tear slips down my cheek and I hadn’t even realized I’d begun crying. I think we could be friends too.

-

I don’t hear from Azriel for a week other than a note delivered from Ylla that told me to wait on taking out the four lords. Since then, I’ve kept my head low to not irk my father even more. It took five days for my back to heal enough that I could start looking into the poison Landras had acquired and I had spent almost all of last night digging through his home for anything useful. With the ball only being in four days, I was starting to become a bit worried about the shadowsinger and his lack of appearance.

Today was no different, not a single word from the High Lord or his inner court. I found what I needed to know but with no other way to reach Rhysand other than through Azriel, all I could do was wait. I find myself walking through the Hewn City after training this morning, the black stone rising up far above and the silver faelights making the space above look like the night sky. Fae mingle around me, lords and ladies whispering secrets and scandals to one another.

I stop in front of a huge fountain, the water flowing from the naked female statue from the many streams that run through this mountain. I take a seat on the edge of the fountain, closing my eyes as I listen to the water running. It’s relaxing and my thoughts finally settle as the noise drowns them out. I feel a presence walking toward me and my body stiffens as they sit right next to me.

“Don’t look,” the female voice whispers as the scent of citrus and cinnamon fills my nose. That scent and voice are all too familiar to me.

I keep my eyes closed as I sigh softly. “What are you doing here?”

The shuffling of fabric catches my attention but it’s too high up for it to be her dress. She must be wearing a cloak or something similar to cover her features.

“Rhys sent me,” her voice is so small that I have to strain my ears to hear her.

“Oh?” I replied. “What happened to the other one?”

I don’t dare say Azriel’s name for fear of anyone listening in to us. Even her whispering Rhysand’s name is dangerous.

“He’s fine. Things just got…difficult,” she shifts and I know she’s getting ready to leave. I feel something press against my thigh but I keep my eyes shut. “I have to go.”

I hear her rise to her feet but I don’t respond to her. Whatever she’s just put against my leg will answer any questions I have. My hand falls from my lap to cover the item and insure it doesn’t get taken while I wait for her to leave. The item is small wooden box just from the feel of it and after a handful of minutes pass, one look down confirms.

I don’t dare open the box until I’ve returned back to the safety of my bedroom after strolling around for a while longer to keep up appearances. Sitting in front of my vanity, I stare down at the box like I could see through it. It seems to be made of mahogany and to just be a trinket box. My fingers slide over the smooth wood and down to the brass latch. I flip it open and lift the lid, my eyebrows raising.

Inside is a piece of parchment and underneath that is the sigil I had given Azriel. Confusion muddles my mind as I pick up the sigil. Why hadn’t he just waited to give it to me later? My eyes drift to the parchment and I unfold it.

Tonight. Midnight. The same place we brought you into our fold.

“Short and sweet, huh?” I mumble to myself.

The ornate clock that sits on the wall tells me that there is plenty of time before this meeting. Enough time to get myself prepared for whatever it is they’re going to throw at me. My attention drifts toward my reflection in the mirror and I wince at the female who looks back at me.

I’d always been told I’m pretty by whatever standard of beauty that the fae hold. Unblemished pale skin, jewel like eyes that sparkle in the right light with long black lashes, full pink lips. With my white golden hair, I resembled a porcelain doll almost. Except underneath that beauty, that viper that my father created lives below.

I can see her when I sleep, the cold and emotionless murderer disguised as the perfect princess. There’s been many times that ploy has come into play. A shiver runs through me as I remember the lives I’ve ended. Good fae and bad and all those in between.

I squeeze my eyes shut, digging my fingernails into my palms. Time and time again I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t think like this. I am not her and she is not me. My hands sting but I manage to calm down, even if little crescent cuts now dot both of them. A deep breath leaves me and I focus on myself in the mirror again.

I won’t let this break me.

-

“Where are you going?” I curse under my breath at the sneering plummy voice of my sister.

I glance over my shoulder at where she stands at the top of the landing, her eyes shining with evil. She looks over my clothing, basic fighting leathers covered in a soft black cotton cloak with a hood. The gleam of my knives are visible as I turn to her and cross my arms over my chest.

“I’m meeting with a client,” I reply tightly. “It’s none of your business princess.”

“Father didn’t say you had a client at dinner today,” she ignores the name I call her as she takes a single step onto the stairs. “You’re lying.”

“Father doesn’t have to know about all of my clients,” I know she’s pissed off at me for humiliating her last week and she’s trying to weasel any information she can use against me. “He gave me free reign to accept my own personal clients months ago. A privilege you’ll never have.”

She snarls, baring her teeth at me. “I’ll be sure to let father know you’re sneaking off in the night. Maybe he’ll beat you to death this time.”

I flash her wicked smile. “Go right ahead but make sure you keep one eye open tonight.”

Even from this distance, I can see the chill that runs down her spine at my words. I turn on my heel and leave before she responds, starting my short journey to the High Lord’s palace. I keep to the shadows, slipping down dark alleys with my hood up to avoid anyone recognizing me. Luckily, it seems that Rhysand had the vicinity of the palace cleared out because I don’t run into anyone as I move toward the entrance. I feel the magic of the wards as I walk through it. Waiting for me on the other side of the door is a face that actually brings a smile to my lips.

“Morrigan,” I walk toward her as she beams. I pull my hood back, letting her see my face without the shadows it created. “You surprised me earlier.”

She laughs softly and pulls me into a hug. “I’ve been taking lessons in subterfuge.” It’s like she’s glowing, like she’s turned into a completely different person since the last time I saw her. She was so broken from that bastard Eris and her family. “I’ve missed you Rae.”

“I missed you too Mor,” I hug her tightly. “It’s good to see you again. Even with these circumstances.”

Mor nods her head, brown eyes curving up in the corners from her smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to your party. It’s been…hard for me to come back here.”

“You don’t have to explain,” I squeeze her arm. “If anyone understands, it’s me. I’m just glad to see you so…springy.”

That pulls a bright laugh from her red lips. “Springy? My you have a way with words.” I can’t help but roll my eyes as I scoff. “It’s not wrong though. I’m doing so much better now…but we’ll have to catch up later. Rhys will scold me if I keep you here when there’s business to attend to.”

I let her guide me down the dark hall and into the room where the High Lord awaits. Seated next to him this time are both Cassian and Azriel. All three of them look sullen but Rhysand plasters a smile to his face as he sees us enter.

“Ravaen. Good to see you again,” I instantly note that his voice isn’t that steady cadence he usually has.

I give him a shallow nod, my eyes trailing from him, to Cassian, to Azriel. Mor slides into a chair next to Cassian, who minutely tenses at her presence. I file that thought away for later. I take a seat at the end of the table, leaving some space between myself and them. Just in case.

“Have you figured out their plans?” The High Lord begins, skipping over any other pleasantries.

I reach into my leathers, not missing the way they all track the movement, and pull out a small pouch. I slide it down the table and it stops in front of Cassian. He picks it up and dumps out three small vials filled with clear liquid. They clatter onto the ebony table, clinking together as the four of them stare at it.

“I only brought three,” I give an apologetic look toward Mor, not knowing she was going to be here. “It’s the antidote to poison hemlock. I doubt you all are going to enjoy the food and drink at the ball but just in case, keep it on your person.”

Rhysand picks up a vial, turning it in his hands. “How can we be sure this isn’t a ploy from you to trick us into trusting you?”

“Rhys-” Mor tries but he shoots her a stern look.

“It’s fine Mor,” I shrug at her. I’m used to these kinds of questions. I let a lazy smile cross my lips as I lean back into my chair, tapping my sharp nails on the stone armrest. “Well, you can either believe that what’s in that vial is actually hemlock and I’m just trying to trick you into drinking it or you can give it back and risk the toast my father is going to offer you. If that’s the case, I won’t mind being the one bringing you the poisoned wine if you’re going to be that ignorant.”

“I was just teasing you, Ravaen,” Rhysand nods to the two Illyrians and all three of them stow away the glass vial.

I let my gaze move around the room again, starting with Mor and working my way around the table to Azriel. The shadowsinger hasn’t looked my way once since I entered the room. It strikes me as a bit odd but the expressions the others wear sets me on edge. I can't tell if he’s been ordered not to speak to me or if he’s just avoiding me.

“Have you decided what to do with the four males I told you about?”

“Unfortunately all four of them hold particularly difficult positions to fill in my court,” Rhysand sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, brow furrowing as he thinks. “I’d only really be willing to get rid of Vyllen but if one dies, the others won’t be so willing to cooperate.”

“So we leave them alive then? I thought my job was to kill them?” I scoff. “You don’t even need me anymore.”

“Not for that, no,” Rhysand shrugs his shoulders. “But the offer still stands. If you help us finish this, we’ll take you from the Hewn City to a better place.”

“Why? My part of this deal is null and void now.”

“Without you, we wouldn’t have gotten this far,” Mor says as she leans her elbows on the table. “Az is good at what he does but you made this so much easier since your father is involved.”

My eyes flick toward the shadowsinger who has still chosen to remain silent. “Well I’d be a fool to refuse to see this out. All I want is to be free of this hell hole.” I look back at Rhysand who is staring at Azriel. “What do you need me to do?”

“Show up at the ball like planned. Listen to whatever your father says to do, we already have a plan in place,” he leans forward, that black hair falling into his face. “Essentially, we need you to be the distraction that you were meant to be originally.”

“Luckily I seem to be good at doing just that,” I sigh, leaning back into my chair.

“There is…one more thing,” Rhysand’s voice is strained, hesitant. “Azriel?”

His back straightens at the call of his name, shadows curling around his throat and up into his hair. He looks at me for the first time since I’ve walked in and my throat tightens at the dark circles under his eyes. Azriel opens his mouth to speak then closes it, clearing his throat softly.

“What is it?” I ask him but deep down, I already know the answer.

“It’s about your brother,” Mor begins for her friend, his eyes turning to her.

Azriel’s eyes soften as she reaches across the table and squeezes his hand, reassuring him. Azriel looks back toward me, there’s hesitation on his face.

“What is it?” I say through gritted teeth, my heart pounding in my chest. “Tell me. Where is he?”

“He’s dead.”

As soon as those words leave his lips, my power explodes. Darkness ripples across the entire room, bouncing off the shield that Rhysand threw up around the Inner Circle. Cassian is on his feet, sword drawn as his eyes narrow into slits, siphons blazing bright. They all watch as that darkness seems to pull the light from the room, my green eyes glowing as it swirls around me. But that darkness isn’t pulling the light, it’s absorbing it, like a void.

“What are you?” Rhysand hisses, his eyes bright with wonder.

“Where. Is. He?” I demand, my voice twisting into pure rage. The light in the room goes out as I rise to my feet. “Where is he?”

“Ravaen,” Azriel is on his feet as well, stepping closer to the barrier that protects him. His shadows swirl violently around him now almost like they’re being drawn away from him and toward me. “I’m sorry.” There’s a sadness on his face that he doesn’t let the others see as he stares directly at me. “I found him in the Day Court. He’s been dead for weeks. Your father lied to you.”

It’s like the world returns back to normal as my power vanishes instantly, the light flicking back on as I sink into the stone chair again. My chest heaves as hot tears stream down my face, the salty taste of them staining my lips. Mor comes to the edge of the barrier, her head snapping toward Rhysand as he keeps it raised.

“Rhys!”

“No.”

There’s an emptiness in my chest, a hollow void as black as my power. My skin has gone cold and clammy, my mouth dry. I raise my head up from its lowered position, my dull eyes looking right toward Azriel.

“How long…” My voice is raw. “How long have you known?”

He tenses as mouth settles into a straight line. “I found him three days after our last meeting.”

“Three days?” I hiss, anger starting to boil inside of me again. “You told me you would contact me once you found him! It’s been that long and you’ve stayed silent?”

“I was-“

“I told him not to say anything,” Rhysand cuts in, his jaw clenching as my rage focuses on him.

I can’t help the bitter laugh that leaves me and my fingers dig into the stone chair. “And you want me to trust you? To believe that you have this holy motive of making our world better? You’re full of shit, Rhysand.” I slowly stand up, a flicker of power rumbling through the room again. “You’re all full of shit. And you…” I point a finger at Azriel. “Can forget about ever being my friend.”

[theknitpotato]

Be a lady they said. Your skirt is too short. Your shirt is too low. Your pants are too tight. Don’t show so much skin. Don’t show your thighs. Don’t show your breasts. Don’t show your midriff. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t show your underwear. Don’t show your shoulders. Cover up. Leave something to the imagination. Dress modestly. Don’t be a temptress. Men can’t control themselves.

Men have needs. You look frumpy. Loosen up. Show some skin. Look sexy. Look hot. Don’t be so provocative. You’re asking for it. Wear black. Wear heels. You’re too dressed up. You’re too dressed down. Don’t wear those sweatpants; you look like you’ve let yourself go.

Be a lady they said. Don’t be too fat. Don’t be too thin. Don’t be too large. Don’t be too small. Eat up. Slim down. Stop eating so much. Don’t eat too fast. Order a salad. Don’t eat carbs. Skip dessert. You need to lose weight. Fit into that dress. Go on a diet. Watch what you eat. Eat celery. Chew gum. Drink lots of water. You have to fit into those jeans. God, you look like a skeleton. Why don’t you just eat? You look emaciated. You look sick. Eat a burger. Men like women with some meat on their bones. Be small. Be light. Be little. Be petite. Be feminine. Be a size zero. Be a double zero. Be nothing. Be less than nothing.

Be a lady they said. Remove your body hair. Shave your legs. Shave your armpits. Shave your bikini line. Wax your face. Wax your arms. Wax your eyebrows. Get rid of your mustache. Bleach this. Bleach that. Lighten your skin. Tan your skin. Eradicate your scars. Cover your stretch marks. Tighten your abs. Plump your lips. Botox your wrinkles. Lift your face. Tuck your tummy. Thin your thighs. Tone your calves. Perk up your boobs. Look natural. Be yourself. Be genuine. Be confident. You’re trying too hard. You look overdone. Men don’t like girls who try too hard.

Be a lady they said. Wear makeup. Prime your face. Conceal your blemishes. Contour your nose. Highlight your cheekbones. Line your lids. Fill in your brows. Lengthen your lashes. Color your lips. Powder, blush, bronze, highlight. Your hair is too short. Your hair is too long. Your ends are split. Highlight your hair. Your roots are showing. Dye your hair. Not blue, that looks unnatural. You’re going grey. You look so old. Look young. Look youthful. Look ageless. Don’t get old. Women don’t get old. Old is ugly. Men don’t like ugly.

Be a lady they said. Save yourself. Be pure. Be virginal. Don’t talk about sex. Don’t flirt. Don’t be a skank. Don’t be a whore. Don’t sleep around. Don’t lose your dignity. Don’t have sex with too many men. Don’t give yourself away. Men don’t like sluts. Don’t be a prude. Don’t be so up tight. Have a little fun. Smile more. Pleasure men. Be experienced. Be sexual. Be innocent. Be dirty. Be virginal. Be sexy. Be the cool girl. Don’t be like the other girls.

Be a lady they said. Don’t talk too loud. Don’t talk too much. Don’t take up space. Don’t sit like that. Don’t stand like that. Don’t be intimidating. Why are you so miserable? Don’t be a bitch. Don’t be so bossy. Don’t be assertive. Don’t overact. Don’t be so emotional. Don’t cry. Don’t yell. Don’t swear. Be passive. Be obedient. Endure the pain. Be pleasing. Don’t complain. Let him down easy. Boost his ego. Make him fall for you. Men want what they can’t have. Don’t give yourself away. Make him work for it. Men love the chase. Fold his clothes. Cook his dinner. Keep him happy. That’s a woman’s job. You’ll make a good wife some day. Take his last name. You hyphenated your name? Crazy feminist. Give him children. You don’t want children? You will some day. You’ll change your mind.

Be a lady they said. Don’t get raped. Protect yourself. Don’t drink too much. Don’t walk alone. Don’t go out too late. Don’t dress like that. Don’t show too much. Don’t get drunk. Don’t leave your drink. Have a buddy. Walk where it is well lit. Stay in the safe neighborhoods. Tell someone where you’re going. Bring pepper spray. Buy a rape whistle. Hold your keys like a weapon. Take a self-defense course. Check your trunk. Lock your doors. Don’t go out alone. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t bat your eyelashes. Don’t look easy. Don’t attract attention. Don’t work late. Don’t crack dirty jokes. Don’t smile at strangers. Don’t go out at night. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t say yes. Don’t say no.

Just “be a lady” they said.

-Camille Rainville

[feliciakainzofspades]

A very stupid Harry Potter thing

So while doing my makeup today, I was spacing into the void and this thought came to me and now that I'm thinking about it, here's a stupid AU that may or may not be fueling my femboy fetish:

So, let's be real, Petunia probably tried the concealer trick to hide Harry's scar. Now, what a lot of people don't know -and actually, I just learned this myself today :D - is you can actually use concealer to highlight and brighten certain areas of your skin.

So, one day Harry's doing the concealer thing before Primary, he notices the glow and experiments before heading out; just the under eye cheek bone area. Oh my gosh, I look like I'm glowing!? Maybe this concealer stuff isn't so bad after all. Heck, now he has girls asking 'Harry, what are you doing? Your skin is glowing?! Teach us our secret!?" Harry's just stunned pikachu silence cause he didn't know how he did that.

Continues doing it, surprising Petunia since she usually had to fight him into wearing it. Whatever, at least we can hide the damn scar and keep him looking normal. Well now it's a double-edged sword, since one night, Vernon left the cupboard unlocked - He hasn't done anything "freaky", we can try this one night. sneaks into the bathroom and gets the mascara out. Okay his eyes were a bit irritated the day after cause obvious being obvious. But no-one knew he took his aunt's, they just knew that one day at school, Harry's lashes are fuller than usual.

This continues under behind the back, Harry's doing paper routes to get allowances cause the Dursleys sure as hell ain't payin' him for his chores. Buys his own stuff and hides them in his 'room'. This continues until Hogwarts, now he's fretting cause "BUT HOW AM I GOING TO GET A NEW PITCH BLACK LIPSTICK FROM MAYBELLINE?!" Finds out about the Vault? "Okay, I rocked this budgeting thing, I got this. Got my school supplies, how much do I have left? Yes! Time to get that Viper liner from Sephora! Should look up magic makeup looks to impress my new classmates"

But. This would start the Malfoy vs. Potter feud It wasn't Draco insulting Ron in front of Harry on the Hogwarts Expression Wasn't Draco bragging about his broom collection at Malfoy Manor while getting fitted for robes. Oh nooooo

It was because "Uh, who is this kid that's a lower status than me rocking a killer eyeliner? That wing is so sharp it could kill a person." Tries sucking up to Harry. Got shot down. That was the third Time Potter shot him down! How dare he! Fine, Potter, if that's how it's going to be I'll show to you that I'm the superior one and you will be so awed by me you'll have no choice but to leave that Blood Traitor Weasley.

Thus, began the Hogwarts Makeup Feud; every day, Draco shows up with something mind blowing; amazing blend of colors, gemstones glued to the outer corner of his eyes, he's looking like a fucking Faerie up in here. There's no way Potter will be able to top genuine emeralds and onyxes in a faux mask! Now he'll have to admit I'm his better!

But what's this? Harry shows up with a steady painted mask as his eyeshadow look; a lion mask with nothing but Gryffindor Colors! How many shades of reds and golds did he use?! No matter, one time thing - WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S SHOWING OFF A SLYTHERIN LOOK- ARE THOSE SCALES ON HIS FACE?! Potter, what the hell?! "Wig Cap" Wig what?!

This continues no matter what. Philosopher's stone, Harry has UV light eyeliner - how are they glowing without a UV light in Hogwarts? Magic! Chamber of Secrets, he lost some rhinestones while fighting the Basilisk, but hey, the setting spray is insanely powerful and his look hasn't melted yet. When he first died at Voldemort's hand? Voldemort made sure to have someone writing his victory speach.

"I suppose Potter deserves some recognition, write that he died the way he lived, looking like a swan" BITCH HE LIVES AGAIN! And Voldemort now has to live in the afterlife knowing he got taken down by a fuckin' twink who decided to one up Draco one final time.

Draco showed up in a corset top and was still casting spells without problems. Harry's not going down. HE'S FIGHTING VOLDEMORT IN HEELS. SUCK IT MALFOY!

Throughout all seven years, Harry and Draco had been doing this, trying to prove a point to someone. What was that point? What were they trying to tell the other? They don't know but they're not going down without a fight

[maggielindemannsource]

Twitch stream on April 11 - "getting ready and a haul" (makeup live)

PS: I know there are 3 parts where the audio is missing, it's because she was listening to music and got copyrighted on those parts!! Sorry I can't do anything about it 😭

all the makeup products she used in the video (in order):

Cetaphil Moisturising Cream 450g 

Double Wear Stay-in-Place Foundation

Rare Beauty Warm Wishes Effortless Bronzer Stick 

Real Techniques Expert Face Makeup Brush

Hoola Matte Powder Bronzer - Benefit Cosmetics

Nose contour brush (i don't have the exact reference)

e.l.f Cosmectics 16-Hour Camo Full Coverage Concealer

White Baking Powder (i don't have the exact reference)

Triangular Powder Puff (i don't have the exact reference, similar: Sephora Velour Makeup Powder Puff)

Patrick Ta Beauty MAJOR SCULPT DUAL-ENDED SCULPTING BRUSH

Benefit Cosmetics Sunny Warm Coral Blush

Blush brush (i don't have the exact reference, same set as nose contour brush)

Blush she prefers to wear when she’s tan : 

Benefit Cosmetics Butterfly Golden Orange Blush

Patrick Ta Beauty Major Headlines Double-Take Crème & Powder Blush Duo (Shade "Just Enough", the light powder one)

She doesn’t do powder blush over wet

Rare Beauty Always An Optimist 4-In-1 Mist | Makeup Mist & Spray

Maybelline Express Brow Ultra Slim Defining Eyebrow Pencil

Charlotte Tilbury LIP CHEAT (Shade ICONIC NUDE)

Revlon Super Lustrous The Lip Gloss in Shade 306 Taupe Luster (this one is her fave lip gloss of all time, but she also likes 207 Sky Pink)

Diamond Bomb All-Over Diamond Veil - Fenty Beauty (Shade: How Many Carats?!)

Jet Black Volumizing Mascara - about-face

Benefit Cosmetics 24-Hour Brow Setter

Her fake eyelashes are Ardell 3D Faux Mink 863 (she bought them at Marshalls but she usually doesn't care for the brand, she buys whatever lashes)

She doesn’t like putting mascara on her bottom lashes

Brown eye pencil on upper waterline 

She was drinking Alani Nu Cosmic Stardust Energy Drink

Random:

she would like to dye her hair light pink after she goes blonde, she said she always wanted to have pink hair

she wants to get botox in her forehead because when she performs, she thinks her facial expressions make the pictures look bad

prisoner is her favorite wine

she’s going to san srancisco to see jordan’s last game, then they’re going to hawaii and then to texas. she plans on installing a streaming set up there too.

[reginrokkr]

‘  stop punishing yourself. please. you don’t deserve it.  ’

Should I proceed down this path, will that still make me a sinner? Unlike many others whom strove to make amends for those who had fallen into insanity in bygone times where astral pupils were a more common sight —albeit still rare in their uniqueness— and wondered if their deeds would make them heroes instead, Dáinsleif has no interest in being one. He never was nor intended to be one. In essence, he is just a man who wanted to do his best to protect a nation that had more reasons than one to conceal themselves from the divine, who wanted to do the damnedest to fix that which could no longer be fixed, for millennia of wounds and proximity to the Abyss can't ever go well.

The Twilight Sword of old could have abandoned everything as an immortal, forget about everything that will not return and rot in his misery until his mind faded to nothingness as many other fellow Black Knight Serpent and only a husk remained of him, roaming the wilderness until someone attune enough with the workings of this world would mercy-finish him. He could've fallen to madness as many others, wish for the darkness come to engulf everything under the sun and make the rest of humanity pay for some reason he cannot understand yet.

So many things could have happened, if only he wished so.

In rare and fleeting moments when his mind would drift to himself for once, he wondered: is following the Abyss Order, trample their schemes and end them not another form of self-punishment? Dáinsleif had many centuries to think, only to come to the same conclusion over and over again.

If he whom has the ability to do so doesn't, who will?

This line of thought is what made him push forward and persist through the countless of adversities and trepidations, paying little regard to his own suffering in the process or the thousands of ways the Abyss Order has to get under his skin and strike where it hurts the most. For in the end, they have known him in his best days but also in his worst after divine's wrath descended to Khaenri'ah. They call him a murderer and he silently agrees. They call him a traitor and he would still buy it in uttermost quiescence. His own name translates into bearing the legacy of death and he dons it like a mantle on his back to serve as a reminder and a channel to make others who know a iota of the truth of this world realize the wrongs of this dying world. He takes more blames than what belong to him and hurtful as they may be, they are also his strength and reminder that he has many reasons to press forward. For human's tomorrow.

Imagine when someone whom by norm should not know any of his doings shows a smidgen of understanding of his mind. Dáinsleif cannot help but pause and stare, the wear and tear of the passage of years evident in the way his features daren't move in the slightest. But the eyes— it's those same stellar pupils that tremble within icy sapphires that gives him away, that reflect the impact those words have. A tremble of a loose hand and the rigid posture of a man struck by words more harmful than any insult the Abyss Order may throw his way, albeit unintended to be that way.

❝I am a far cry home from being a person undeserving of retribution.❞ Albescent lashes flutter to a close to conceal that which his mouth won't speak through his eyes and he looks away. Were he stare much longer into sorrow-ridden eyes that match his own, he's uncertain about his endurance to hold the persistent negative emotions that permeate his existence. For all the self-convincing that he is doing this for a better cause that transcends the borders of home, it hurts to hear himself say that he saw it on himself to be punished so— it hurts even more to hear that he's wrong, it makes his heart bleed because deep down, he agrees with Kaeya.

Lingering further in his presence takes a bigger toll on Dáinsleif than he anticipated it to be, thus he turns on his heels with the intent to leave, to recompose himself and his resolve to press forward and not falter. ❝You Alberich are good people, dare not consider treading the same path I do.❞ That is the Twilight Sword's duty, to be a beacon of light but also to be the one whose hands are bloodied. He turns his head some to look at the steel blue-haired over his shoulder. ❝Perhaps you should apply that line of thinking to yourself, instead.❞ Words that perhaps may sound harmful are meant to be a show of acknowledgement of Kaeya's struggles and self-sabotaging demeanor he had noticed over the years, a gentle nudge to make him know that what he sees in others may be just a reflection to himself.

Save your energy to tend to your wounds. I will be fine.

...I have to.

@aalberich ✦

[colorbar1]

Makeup Must-Haves: The Essential Cosmetic Items for Every Beginner

Hey there, beautiful! Ready to dive into the dazzling world of makeup? Whether you're just starting out or looking to up your beauty game, we've got the lowdown on all the must-have cosmetic items you'll need to create stunning looks.

From essential cosmetic items to the best cosmetics makeup kit, this guide will have you feeling confident and fabulous in no time. Plus, we'll introduce you to some fabulous makeup kits that will make your makeup journey even more exciting. So, grab your brushes, and let's get glam!

The Basics: Your Essential Makeup Must-Haves

Foundation: The base of every great makeup look. Find a foundation that matches your skin tone perfectly for that flawless finish.

Concealer: Say goodbye to dark circles and blemishes! A good concealer is your best friend for achieving a smooth, even complexion.

Blush: Add a pop of this color cosmetic to your cheeks for a fresh, youthful glow. Cream or powder, the choice is yours!

Eyeshadow Palette: Experiment with different shades to create endless eye-catching looks. Start with a neutral palette if you're a beginner.

Mascara: Enhance those lashes! Mascara opens up your eyes and adds a touch of drama.

Eyeliner: From subtle lines to bold wings, eyeliner is essential for defining your eyes.

Lipstick: Whether you love bold reds or soft nudes, a good lipstick can transform your look in an instant.

Setting Spray: Keep your makeup in place all day long with a setting spray. No more midday touch-ups needed!

The Ultimate Makeup Kits

Now that you know the basics, it's time to introduce you to some fabulous cosmetics makeup kits that make getting started a breeze. Colorbar offers a range of makeup combo sets that are perfect for beginners and pros alike.

BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE - Makeup Kit by Colorbar

This all-in-one “Be Who You Want To Be- Makeup Kit’ is perfect for those who want to experiment with different looks. It includes a range of color cosmetics, from a universally-flattering highlighter, vibrant yet natural-looking blush, iconic 10-in-1 color correcting powder and three high-pigmented, opulent shades of eyeshadow. With this kit, you can truly "be who you want to be" and express your unique style.

Glitz Box by Colorbar

Ready to add some sparkle to your life? This spellbinding Glitz Box unwraps seven heavenly products Take Me As I Am Vegan Matte Lipstick, Cosmic Pouch, Intensely Rich Kajal, On the Go Mini Makeup Remover Wipes, 2 Vegan Nail Lacquers. This kit’s makeup combo set is perfect for those special occasions when you want to stand out.

Dazzle Box by Colorbar

The Dazzle Box is your go-to for creating show-stopping looks. This shimmering Dazzle Box unwraps ten mesmerizing products:

Take Me As I Am Vegan Matte Lipstick

Colorbar Powerkiss Vegan Matte Lipcolor

Sexy Twosome Blusher

Cosmic Soft Vanity Bag

Intensely Rich Kajal

On the Go Mini Makeup Remover Wipes

2 Vegan Nail Lacquers

White Deo For Women

Sindoor

This kit is perfect for makeup lovers who aren't afraid to make a statement.

Shopping for Cosmetics Products Online

Shopping for makeup has never been easier! With a plethora of cosmetics products online, you can find everything you need from the comfort of your home. When buying cosmetics online, one should keep certain things in mind such as checking reviews, verifying ingredients, ensuring the seller's authenticity, and comparing prices.

Many online stores offer detailed product descriptions, reviews, and even virtual try-on features to help you choose the perfect products. Plus, you can often find great deals and makeup combo sets that save you money while stocking up on all your beauty essentials.

Final Tips for Makeup Beginners

Practice makes perfect: Don't be afraid to experiment and make mistakes. The more you practice, the better you'll get.

Invest in good brushes: Quality brushes make a huge difference in the application and finish of your makeup.

Skincare first: Always start with a clean, moisturized face. Good skincare is the foundation of great makeup.

So there you have it, gorgeous! With these essential cosmetic items and the fabulous makeup kits, you're all set to embark on your makeup journey. Remember, makeup is all about having fun and expressing yourself. So go ahead, play with those colors, and create the looks that make you feel amazing. Happy glamming!