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mdr-writings · 3 months

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The Great Pretender

One-shot

Eren x Mean!femReader

i: youre lowkey a bully to eren, eren is a sweetheart, happy ending?

An: I constantly see people wanting eren fluff, so I decided to give it a try. Also because of the recent drought of eren ffs, its sad.

Genre: fluff, angst

You can't stand him, no, you hate him.

There has been too many times where he just cant help but to piss you off. but the most recent occurrences of his presence was the final nail. You remembered a few.

He would carelessly stared out the window during lectures

Or times where you would watch him conversate, he seemed so attentive to his friends outlandish story times.

One time, you screeched, "DONT," as he held the door open for you to enter the classroom.

You would roll your eyes at him whenever he offers you his answers to the homework.

In a couple incidences, your shoes would loudly slaps against the floor after he offers you to take his seat, as there were a limited number of chairs at a table in class.

You constantly ignored him whenever he offers to work with you for the lab.

Overall, you hate him

You were convinced his kindness was a façade of what he truly was, it was a front. There would be no way possible that there was a person that can be so perfect, he was hiding something. The tension laid heavy on your mind, surely you weren't the only one who thought the same. Hoping to find out if any feelings were mutual, you settled to ask for your friends’ opinion.

“Don't you guys agree”, you asked, squinting in disgust at the boy sitting a couple tables down from yours. You and your friends sat at a table in the campus cafe. Thankfully, you all had a gap break between your next classes, making it possible for a meet up.

“With what?” The two of them followed your eye’s path, but failed to see what was the target. “Him”, you answered, forcefully gritting the word out. Their eyes once again traveled in the path only for it to stop at the brunette boy. His brown hair messily wrapped and secured into a bun, a few wild strands framed around his face. Soundlessly, he conversed among his group of friends, occasionally flashing his pearled teeth while he laughed.

“Eren?” Your friend, Amira, questioned. You almost gagged at the mention of his name. “Y/N,” your other friend, Kelsey, started. “Why are you acting like that towards him, he seems really nice, you know he once helped me-”

Immediately, you drowned her out of your hearing. Nice? It tempted you to laugh. He didn't have you fooled. He hasn't beat you in his battle. Looking back over to his table, the short blonde haired guy faced the green eyed devil, nodding his head while his friend spoke.

The other people that surrounded Eren were intrigued with what he had to say, smiling every so often. The blonde shifted his eyes to yours, before briefly giving you a smile. Unmoved, you stared. Eren pauses to take note of his friend's face, following his sight that leads behind him. His eyes lit up, a grin sprouted across his face. A scowl plagued your lips, disgusted by the brunette’s appearance. A look of shock claimed the blonde, he adjusted his view away from you. However, a hint of intrigue painted the face of his emerald eyed friend. Little bounces from laughter shook his chest. He also turned back to conversate with his table again.

“ -kind, I don't know, maybe you should speak to him for yourself.”

A loud slap boomed from your table, making both friends jump in fear and a few random people to turn towards the noise. Not caring for the lingering eyes, your hand lifted from the table, “Absolutely not. He can be fake and pretend that he’s this wonderful person, doing this and that for people, you angrily ranted. The eyes of your friends bulged out as they stared at you out of concern. “ He knows this,” you curved your index and middle finger up and down, “ acts of kindness will make people believe that he is a good person.”

Amira spoke up, “ I honestly think he is a good person” she shrugged her shoulders, then upturned her mouth. Shock caused your jaw to drop open. “ Tell me y/n, what has he done to you to be acting like this?”

“What hasn't he done,” you thought, without a word, you got up from your chair, and began to pack your belongings. “ Y/n, sit back down where are you going,” an annoyed Kelsey inquired. “She’s having one of those days again”, huffed Amira, exhaling a sign of irritation .

Since searching for validation in your hypotheses obviously backfired on you, you decided to leave. It seems you were alone in your predictions, his plan worked. He has brain-washed your classmates as well as your friends. At this point, who else could you turn to other than yourself?

･｡ . ⠐

Later on that night, after unwinding yourself from a long day of classes, you prepped for bed.

“ Y/n i just think you're taking this a bit too seriously” , Kesley stated. You snarled as your fingers were coated in a white creamed moisturizer, you swiped the product across your face. Once again irritated by your friend’s claims.

Why couldn't they see past this character he put on, everyone gushed and raved about him being “such a great guy”. Doesn't anybody know? Everyone has a character they play when it comes to wanting to be loved. That's what you’ve done for years, desperately doing any and everything for someone to care and love you.

The things you've done in the past to taste a teaspoon of friendship have truly diminished your dignity. But nobody batted an eye to you, everyone accepted it because they also benefited from your kindness. You were selfish, it's honestly what you believed, the way your face would light up when someone spoke to you after doing two or more tasks for them. Smiling at the simple fact that a person would glace your way.

It was disgusting.

After highschool, you saw your weakness. The sweet, innocent, gullible, caring Y/N was gone. You burned that character out of your body, cleaning up any ash and sediment left behind. As a result, you despised any or anyone who mirrored your past self.

Nobody did you the favor to warn you, so now you decided to do the deed.

Abruptly, you signaled your desire to hang up, only before whispering a quick “ goodnight” to Kelsey. Now clouded in the room’s stillness, you were able to steer clear of your thoughts. After a moment of your decision and the possible daft consequences, your mind was set in stone. Finally the day’s exhaustion caught up to you, you began to drift off into a darkened slumber.

･｡ . ⠐

Waking up the next morning, you felt, heavy. Your morning routine was usual but your steeled face accompanied it. When brushing your teeth, facing your reflection, studying the movement, slowly scraping and swiping the blue minted paste around your mouth. In the shower, you scrubbed the cloth onto your body, the rough fibers scraped over your skin, afterwards leaving a stinging sensation. Downstairs in the kitchen, you ate, crushing the food against your molars, harshly swallowing the mashed contents.

The drive on the way to the campus was silent, a little too silent. The only prominent sound emitted from your car’s AC unit blowing onto your skin. Summer’s temperature had reached its height, day after day, cooking the earth’s contents. No longer baring the quietness, you decided music would be a bittersweet distraction of today's plans.

Your pointer finger pressed a large black button on the stereo. Piercing static muffled the speaker, creating a fuzz noise in your ears. Turning the dial left, the radio scanned through channels to stop on. “FORMAN MILLS,” a male voice boomed around the car. “ Now our entire fifteen million dollar winter fashion inventory has to go!” Your eyes squinted at the obnoxiously loud commercial bursting your eardrum. “They still have stores around,” you questioned. Turning a dial on the right this time, the volume went from 10 to 7.

Contemplating shutting the radio off completely, you decided to give it one last chance to play music. Your hand moved back over to the left dial moving it one time over. Good Morning! You’re Listening to Hot 86.9, Where We play the Hottest Tracks from Yester-years and Hits from Today. This First track was Requested by Artur Braus from Sina. An old classic hit from the 1950’s performed by The Platters and covered by the Legendary band Queen. Everyone this is, The Great Pretender.

“ Finally,” you huffed, placing your hands on the wheel in the perfect form of 9 and 3. As you continue to drive, the upbeat intro begins to play.

Oh-oh, yes, I'm the great pretender

Pretending that I'm doing well

My need is such, I pretend too much

I'm lonely, but no one can tell

Listening to the lyrics, a frown spread over your lips. Your body buzzed, a thick blanket of discomfort draped over you. Quickly trying to shake the feeling, you in- and exhale deeply letting the air leave your body.

I play the game but to my real shame

You've left me to dream all alone

A lump formed in your throat, the hard saliva stiffened as you tried to swallow it down. Hearing the melody play out, your mind began to drift.

Too real is this feeling of make believe

Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal

Since last night concluding your predictions of the emerald eyed boy, then constructing your retaliation, its next step was execution. He was an imposter in nature, manipulating the feelings of others just for his own desperation for attention, disgusting. You tried. You really tried to come to the conclusion that you were delusional or crazy. No longer you could deny it, something was not right with that guy, and you weren't crazy for thinking that.

Oh-oh, yes, I'm the great pre-

Your finger pushed the off button, immediately killing the sound of the speakers. It seems like the song was trying to mock you, taunting your emotionless state.

Unbelievable. The only time you give the radio a chance, it makes you feel worse than before. The song left an eerie mark on the rest of your drive to campus. Deeply embedded into your thoughts, your morning had continued to be mute, that’s all you wanted and needed, pure silence.

Approaching your class’s building you gave yourself an opening for a second thought. Though, you knew your mind was made and didn't have any underlying subconscious notion of doubt. Ultimately, you couldn't shake the feeling of your suspicions.

You were going to investigate the guy yourself.

Class was briefly about to begin. Your fellow classmates began to fill up the room, noises from conversations, laughter, and crinkling of paper meshed together creating a symphony of life. Your eyes shifted around the area, looking to spot the brunette boy. “Still not here,” you thought, rubbing the balls of your hand becoming clammy. The pulse in your heart continuously slammed against your chest. Today you were going to do it, you were going to expose his deceit of character. No more you were allowing him to carry on with his selfish desires. It ends today.

As the professor gently grasps the door's handle to signal the start of class. A hand slapped it against the door’s wooden frame. The oxygen was stolen from your lungs, pausing its exhaling. Peering through the door, the brunette cheekily smiles at the professor. “Sorry,” he lightly whispers. Laughter erupted from the students, obviously tickled by the guy’s entrance.

He makes his way to his usual seat in the middle of the classroom. Gazing at his seat, it was currently occupied, a male looked up from the seat . “Ah sorry man, I left my contacts at home.” Eren shakes his head side to side, “ It’s cool but hey,” he quickly pauses to point at him, “You owe me”. The seated male chuckles as he throws his hands up,” You got it bro.”

Now Eren was left seatless, currently tasked with scouting out another seat. Scanning over the room, his eyes shifted through before stopping to glance towards your abrasive ones, his lips curved into a small smile. Your heart accelerated in its pace. His eyes moved to a space beside you, you mirrored his sight to seat an empty chair. Your eyes trained back on to him, he steadily began moving towards your table. With each small clat of his sneakers towards you, the harder your head throbbed.

Time seems to have slowed down because before you could realize, he was already next to you placing his carrying case onto the floor.

“Hey,” his deep silked voice ringed into your ear. Your breath hitched again. Why now, he’s too close, way too close. A great hot sensation flooded into your body, you felt as if you were in hell’s reign of fires, begging to be cooled down. You could imagine the scorching temperature was so hot you could see the steam arising from your skin. You desperately needed to get away, far away from him.

“H-Hey are you okay,“ his question stammered out in concern. A hand lies on your forearm, sending a shocking chill down your spine. You quickly swatted his hand away, ridding of his cool touch. Continuing with the overwhelming warmed sensations that protrude out of your body, your head is left airy and numb. “ I-I need…to go,” you stood up wobbly allowing your chair to scrap against the gradient floor. The sound alerts most of your classmates and unfortunately, your professor, who was amidst his lecturing.

“Miss L/N, do you need anything,” he asks, sliding his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose. Ignoring him you slowly move your legs forward,gripping the table to give you stability. Your legs felt heavy and stiff, destined to drag you down. Another scrap behind you followed, emphasizing the heave you make as you forcefully trail towards the classroom door. Again, you slightly lift your leg to make another step forward, your knees begin to buckle, slowly your body starts to break down.

“Y/N!” A hand tightly grasped your forearm, making your knees slap against the floor and your upper body to sit up and arm dangling high. Everything seems so full and heavy. Once clear voices that filled your ears were now blurred murmurs. Feeling the sight sensation on your arm you were destined to know who was touching you. You pick up your clouded head and tilted it towards the owner of the hand. Your pupils grow large as they greet the overflowing pools of green.

“Eren,” you whispered before you succumbed to pitch black.

･｡ . ⠐･｡ . ⠐･｡ . ⠐･｡ . ⠐

Lavender, a pleasant fragrance of the flower emitted through the black void. Its floral scent filled your lungs as your chest inhaled and exhaled. Though smelling its pungent fumes were very much satisfying , you wanted to see more than ever.

Pressure pulled on your eyelids as you slowly pry your eyes open, quickly shutting them as white flashed into your sight. Groaning you began feeling your surroundings. “Im laying down on a bed,” you spoke to yourself as you started to shift your head side to side. A plush fabric rested at the back of your head, “A pillow”.

Moving your hand over your body, “Still have my clothes on,” you internally confirm with yourself. Deciding to give your eyes a second chance to see, slowly, your eyes open. A pasty white room came into view, looking straight ahead was a sign that stated:

| NURSE OFFICE |

You've never been in here before, not only the fact of you not needing medical attention but as never recalling a college campus having a nurse in general.

Collecting your thoughts as to why you were here, a shooting sensation spiked up your legs. Flinching from the sensation, a memory sparked your mind. You recall your knees crashing to the floor then glancing up to be met with piercing emerald eyes that stared back at you.

“I see you're awake,” you froze in place at the voice beside you that you knew and hated so well. Turning over, you were greeted with that same stupid pearled smile, those green irises gleaming into yours. A scowl painted your face in rage. Suddenly you lifted yourself from the bed, swinging your legs to its sides. Eren's eyebrows clenched together as he watched your abrupt movements.

“ You might wanna rest a bit more,” he voiced his concern. Disregarding him, you stood up only for your legs to shakily bend. “ Y/N!”, his tone now raised, he stood and sling an arm around your waist pulling you close to him. His hard abdomen grazed at your back.

You could feel his toned body pushing against you. His sandalwood spiced cologne kissed your nostrils, filling your nose with the musky scent. For a brief second, you felt yourself melting into his stern grasp, his hand gripping your side as if he would never let you go. The touch could be described as almost soothing. But satisfaction has its inevitable clarity, you shoved his arm away from your waist, breaking free of the guilty pleasured binds.

Your legs quickly carried you to the front of the office door, ready to pull its handle. “W-Wait” he called out as his hand grasped at yours. Once more feeling his contact, you ripped his toughened hand from yours. You shuddered at the fact that he touched you, he now knows how you felt, he knew if your blood ran warm or cold.

“ DON'T TOUCH ME,” you screeched as your shout ranged around the room. The silence was deafening. Everything stood still, frozen in time, unwilling and unable to move. Eren took a step back to observe you, watching you stare at him in fury.

Eren never got it and was unable to understand why you were always tempered when it comes to him. At first, he assumed you had bad days and redirected your frustrations on any and everybody around. But, it became too frequent every time he would interact with you or at least try. But he never gave up sparing you a smile, of course he didn't exactly know you but he wanted to give you an opening for you to speak to him. It would only be on your terms.

Any other person would retaliate and be just as cruel as you have been to him but he knew that it was never a safe choice to make. He knows because he has done it before, he has been that person before. Blinded by hate and anger so much that whoever or whomever would face his fury. And once he did so, he reaped the biggest consequence, he lost the most important people in his life. Leaving him in even bigger emotional distress. Realizing he had no one because of his undefined feelings he refused to counter against, he almost gave up on himself. Until he came to a conclusion of his actions and his consequences, his hurt became everyone else’s hurt. The phrase hurt people, hurt people became so transparent to him, as many saw before his new revelation. WIth this realization he became the person he was afraid of and rejected. He wanted to be able to cry, to rely on others with waves of guilt to wash over him. He didn't want to hurt the people that he most cared about simply because he was hurt. He wanted to live again. And so he did by healing and restoring what he had broken, gluing his foundation back together to create his most sacred place in his heart.

Hence while he is watching you as you grit your teeth and firmly ball your hands into fist while staring at him.

“I’m sorr-” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”, you shouted at him once more, craning your head out towards him. Your breath pumped hard out of your chest, as if you were at the last lap of a marathon. You were tired. Tired of him, tired of everything, of yourself.

“ If I made you upset, I-” his words were cut as a stinging pain spread across his face. Shifting his sight up to you , you were teary-eyed and fueled with rage. He clenched his eyebrows, and his eyes softened at yours.

“W-why don't you just leave me alone,” tears jerked at your waterline, pooling your eyes with the salted liquid. Instead of him answering the rhetorical question he allowed you to continue. “It's like you dont know when to stop.” droplets poured down the apples of your cheeks.

Silence claimed the room’s sound, hushing any of its noisy competitors. Waiting for his reaction, you watched as he stood wordless. The buzzing of anger heightened within you.

Why isn't he fighting back? His lips pressed and tightened together with a pathetic look of pity. Suddenly you quickly stepped towards him, stopping until you inches away from his body.

He jolted as the impact of your push moved him backwards. “ Go ahead say something, I know you want to,” you tease, manically smiling at Eren, egging on for a reaction. Another wordless response from him. You shoved him again, “ Come on do something, you're not just gonna let me do this to you.” As he balanced his leg from the impact, he looked at your wet eyes, those eyes drowned in anger, regret, and hurt.

“Fight back” you shouted, giving him another push. His eyes tracked you as you kept track of him. Your arm began reaching out to send another blow. “Fight ba-,” the last word was cut out of your mouth as he caught your arm.

He pulled you into him, allowing his chest to press against your body. The suddenness caught you off guard, you then tried tugging and pulling away from his grasp. “ What are you doing,” panic trembled in your voice.

You struggled against his strength, tugging, pushing and pushing away. His grip didn't slip once, all of your efforts failed. Growing frustrated, your actions soon slowed down at a dying pace. Your tugs and pulls weakend one after another, then finally you came to a complete halt. A gentle hand laid on the back of your head and guided you to his chest.

“Just stop,” he softly whispers out, "Please”.

Finally submitting to your loss, tears piled on the waterline of your eye ultimately overflowing down onto your cheeks and Eren’s t-shirt, creating wet darkened trails . Sobs and weeping from you echoed into the room, bouncing back into your eardrums. Your hand reaches up to lay on his chest, seconds after you bunched the fabric, closing it into your fist. You needed something to hold on to, something to keep you from falling, you needed-

“No….never”, you thought, shamelessly shaking your head in disbelief. Warm lips pressed on your forehead, puckering as he spoke “I know… I know.” With your head placed on his chest you felt his words vibrate against your ear, its muffled yet buzzing sensation soothed you.

The two of you stood by the white bed, he swayed you side to side as if you were a restless child. As time fell forward, eventually, your cries and tears ceased. And with time moving minute by minute, you felt an odd sense of comfort when being pushed up against his chest. Eren’s eyes peered down to get a slight view of your face. Your eyes drooped with exhaustion, slowly blinking every so once and a while. His other hand was placed at your back and began dragging in an up and down pattern.

A sigh escaped from your lips at feeling all contact he had on you. Now you could say both plans backfired and ultimately resulted in you getting closer than ever to him in contrast to the goal of being further away. A wave of disappointment seeped into your chest, you failed at the only thing that mattered to you. Him.

Deeply sighing again, you removed your head and hands away from him to turn towards the bed. Stopping in front of it, you then turn and sit on the plush comforter, you then mindlessly stare at the walls.

Eren soon followed after. His palms slid across his pants, stopping at his knees as he sat down next to you. Turning his head, he shifts his sights back onto you, waiting for you to accept his eyes.

Your head turned to the side, eyes meeting his shining emerald ones. They were so rich in its green color, overwhelming yet captivating. You couldn't look away. His lips parted as he began to speak,” Tell me.” A strand of your heart springs pull at his words. Closing your eyes, you exhaled the tension that arose in your chest.

Your eyes opened to gaze at him again, “ I don't like how nice you are.” Eren cocked his eyebrows in confusion. “ You don't like how-?” Let me finish what I was saying,” you quickly interjected him, you cleared your throat before continuing. “ I don't like how nice you are, it doesn't come off as genuine. Eren’s eyebrows deepen in their confusion. “ Because I know how it feels to be nice to everyone, doing everything for them so in return you hope to gain a friend.”

The silence after your statement indicated his opening to speak. “You're wrong,” he answered. It was now your turn for your eyebrows to bend. “How am i wron-.” “Let me finish what I was saying,” he smirks as he plays on your words. “You see Y/N, I've realized something about you.” your eyes widen at him. “ It's not that you don't like the fact that I am nice but you don't like the fact that I'm nice to you.”

That familiar pounding in your chest began to brew. Your head shook in denial, “ No, that’s not true.” “ It is Y/n.” “No,” you say in a faint whisper. “And I'm here to tell you that I want nothing from you, but you.” The breath in your lungs dropped into your chest. Tears once again pooled at your waterline, spilling down the dried streaked swells of your face.

You wouldn't believe it, you know how it goes, you've been through it many times before. You just happened to catch him before you gave in. You couldn't believe that he wanted nothing from you, he didn't-

A hand pushed at the tip of your chin, tilting your head to face his. “ I mean it,” he says gazing into your watering eyes. Droplets fell from your face onto his hand that nestled your chin. “ Those times I've tried to talk to you,” he let out a chuckle. “ I failed and I don't do those things for you because I expect something out of you,” his lips curved into a small smile. “ I do it because you intrigue me.” Warmth spreads through you, sending tingles through each and every part of your body.

This feels so strange, you thought. Every time he looked, spoke and touched you, it felt…strange. His smile would firstly piss you off but underneath that blanket of anger was that strange feeling. It was perplexing but instead of indulging in the feeling, you swept it back under the rug where its previous occurrence lies. Never before had you met a guy that instilled this phenomenon in you. It could've been anyone else, so why?

“ From the first moment I saw you, you had a look on your face that I was so familiar with before.” Your eyes shuffled back and forth to look at both of his eyes, begging him to go on. “ And I thought to myself, I know, I know her so well.” His head tilted a bit, observing your face with a small smirk. “ I tried to deny it and assumed you ran into a pole before coming to class but after a while it became so frequent whenever you saw me.” A soft giggle came from your throat, a smile painting your face, shortly before it settled into dejection.

“ But..I know how you feel Y/N,” he let go of your chin, resting his hand back on his lap. “ Right now you have a huge wall up, you've been hurt by people and not only did you blame them but you blame yourself.” he wore a glowering look on his face as he spoke. “ Which is the start of you hurting the people you love and the people who could have a chance to love you.”

Thoughts of your friends came to you, surely they've felt the wrath of your inner turmoil, but blinded by your hurt you failed to see it. You were bound to drive them away with your abrasive behavior. And to people who have made an effort to get to know you. Thinking of the times people would give you nothing but kindness you deemed them worthless, condemning their presence around you. To then watch as their smiles fall into a frown, cursing your name or parting from you in disappointment. It soured your heart. And Him. He never left, his smile never once did fall when looking at you. He still had the courage to keep trying despite your lack of interest in him or in anybody. You hurt people. Your selfishness, pride, and trauma hurt people. Hitching breathing came from your lungs.

“ I'm sorry,” you croaked as your throat tightened. He reached an arm out to touch your arm, “Hey.” You repeated the apology over again, tears threatening to spill again. “ I'm sorry, I’m so sorry.” he pushed himself forward wrapping his arms around you as you cried. “ I know, it’s okay,” his warm hands gently stroked your back. “ It's gonna get better after this, I promise.”

After the continuous rubbing of your back to settle you into contentment, you decided that it is best for you to pass up on heading back to class. Eren offered to carry your tote bag to your car, you undoubtedly obliged. He walked ahead to hold the exit door of the building.

The cool breeze of outside’s air kissed your face while its bright yellow companion let its rays shine on your skin. The walk to your car wouldn't be long as the student parking was directly across from the campus. Eren slowed his pace to let you take the lead to the lot. While making your way down, there was no conversation held between you two. Instead, you reflect on your new found revelation.

Everything that just transpired in the nurse's office replayed over again. Crazy to think how your end goal was met yet came with consequences that you didn't expect. In all actuality, you believed that it would have not been possible for you to come to your senses on your own. You had Eren to thank for that, you were truly indebted to him. Still confused as to why he chose to help you afterwards. You thought that the interaction would be a one and done type of thing. He would no longer be interested in anything relating to you. And you would be alone on your journey to redirecting your psyche. But he stayed.

Finally after the silent walk to your car, you turned to Eren. “Here you go,” he lifted the bag towards you. Grasping it out of his hand, you sling it across your shoulder, “Thanks.” “No problem.” Silence shushed the whispers of the wind that traveled along the skies.

Emptiness fell between the two of you, waiting for the other to say something.

“ I want to ask you something”

“ Thank you for everything “

You both ran through your words simultaneously. Both taking a moment to chuckle, Eren’s laughter was the first to die down, he shook his head.“ Go ahead, it'll save me the embarrassment.” Unsure of what he meant, you spoke.

“ I just want to thank you for everything today, and I deeply apologize for my behavior towards you. I don't know how to repay you.”

One of his fingers reaches up to tap his chin, giving off a look to be deep in thought. In a panicked frenzy, you immediately ask stepping closer to the male, "What is it?” A smile grows onto his face,“ if you give me your number, your apology will be greatly appreciated.”

A burning warmth extended over your body, flustered, you hesitantly answered. “ Is that only what you want?” A rich chuckle arose from him sending ripples of nervousness to your stomach. “ What do you think I've been trying to do this whole time?” Refocusing your gaze on the asphalt concrete, a shy grin creeped along your lips. “ Sorry,” it was embarrassing for you to remember how kind he was to you before immediately disregarding him. Eren briefly shrugged his shoulders,” I lived..somehow,” he murmured the last part.

Letting out another chuckle as you dig around your bag to fish for your keys and phone. Pulling out the items, you hand him your phone to exchange each other's numbers. Seconds later, he was finished tapping in his info into your phone and handing it back to you.

Preparing to leave, you opened your car door to chuck your bag into the passenger side. Closing the door back you turn towards Eren, he was already staring at you. Realizing you caught him, he turned his head sideways, the supple of his cheeks burned into a bright red. “ Ahem,” he abruptly cleared his throat. “I'll...uh..see you later, let me know when you made it home.. if you want of course i'm not forcing you but-.” Thank you Eren, I will,” you smiled at him while opening the car door.

Hopping inside, you start up the car, the ignition roaring loudly. After buckling up you switch gears into drive. One last time you gaze back up to meet his eyes. A hand emitted from his side, waving side to side. You lifted your hand and copied. And with that you pulled off, turning away from him.

Involuntarily your eyes move to the rear view mirror, showing the brunette male angling his fist and forearm downwards to his side with a look of victory.

Looking back onto the road, you smiled to yourself while taking the lane that would take you home quicker.

#･｡ . ⠐oneshot #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jeager x reader #eren fluff #eren jaeger #eren x y/n

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wreckofawriter · 3 years

Text

better

pairing: regulus black x evans!reader

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, angst, make out scene

request by: @upchurch-funk

summary: being a muggleborn dating Regulus meant you had to keep it a secret. When your older sister finds out she raises fear of heartbreak in both of you

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

You and your sisters had been born jealous. Petunia turned to envy first as the attention that had been solely given to her was split between two other daughters. She had always been bitter towards you and Lily, never forgiving you for interpreting her perfect young life. She had taken your things, broken your toys and ripped your clothes trying to punish you for being born and turning her from an only child to the eldest.

Lily was next when she realised she wasn't the only one who could sprout fire from her fingertips. She had accused you of faking your magic for years, doing everything she could to best you even if she never fully understood her powers herself. Luckily she outgrew this jealous fit and by the time you shared a cabin on your way to Hogwarts she was beaming ear to ear.

It was you who was last to realise what the burn in your chest really meant. The feeling came heavy like thick rain drops as you watched your sister fall so effortlessly in love. Each time she gave James a quick hug or leaned onto his shoulder your eyes narrowed, fury irrationally rising in your throat.

This wasn’t because you wished James was yours instead. In fact you had considered him an idiot since you met him and would have rather drown yourself than date the loud mouth fool. You were instead jealous of the simplicity of their relationship. Envious of how they could be carefree, how they could dream of picket fences and happy futures. You hated that they could still be stupid kids. How they were given the freedom to make out in hallways and sneak into eachothers dorms with their worst consequence being a slap on the wrist and week of detention. Nothing hurt more than watching your sister live a simple life you knew you never could.

You stared across the room locking eyes with Regulus for only a brief moment before his darted away. Charms was dreadfully boring, the lecture practically putting you to sleep, you knew you should have been paying attention, but watching the younger Black perform the spell with ease was far more interesting. The flick of his wrist was an addicting, dull look in his eyes far more attractive than it should have been. He had woken up late that morning, his hair messier than usual. You thought it looked adorable, the way a few strands drooped in front of his lashes. He only got cuter as he blew them from his face with a pout.

“You have a staring problem.” Levi muttered from beside you.

You rolled your eyes, “Do you ever mind your own business?”

“Please, you make your thing for Black everyone's business.” He muttered and you kicked him under the desk.

Cussing at you he glared, leaning down to massage his bruising shin.

You wondered briefly how he would have reacted to the reveal of your relationship with your “hopeless crush” as he liked to call it. The surprise on his face would have been sweet as honey.

Regulus was watching you now as you continued to talk to your desk mate, he had never liked the boy, call it jealousy or anger, something bitter always rose in his throat when he saw you with him. Maybe it was because he knew your life would be so much easier if you had loved him instead.

“I don’t get what you see in him anyway.” Levi said, looking across at Regulus whose eyes had quickly retreated back to his parchment.

You grew brittle at the statement.

“I mean I know he's attractive but if it's really about looks why not go for his brother?” He grumbled.

You scoffed, “Please, Sirius is a piece of work.”

“And he isn't? I’m surprised he hasn’t called you a slur yet.”

Rage bubbled in your stomach, your chest feeling hot, “Shut up.”

Levi was either oblivious to the anger set in your tone or unbothered by it “I mean really y/n, you have a crush on a purist? It's sickening.”

You screwed your eyes shut in an attempt to stop the hot tears building behind them. You wanted to scream at him, slap him across the face and shout how Regulus would never do such a thing. You wanted to tell him how wrong he was, make him regret ever speaking such cold words. But instead you looked away, wiping your tears as they came while your boyfriend sat across the room pretending you didn't exist.

You were used to it, you knew as a muggleborn dating a pureblood from a family like his would never be easy but the words still stung. That night you sobbed into Regulus’s chest as he held you in your usual hidden courtyard.

As your tears soaked through his sweater he felt nothing but the cold grip of guilt. He had never meant to fall in love. He had known it was a mistake the second it had happened. Even now he knew he had been wrong and stupid and naive to let himself feel so deeply for someone he could never truly be with. He would never forgive himself for forcing you into the hellish life he lived with a simple confession. He hated himself every day for it, he didn't deserve to indulge in his emotions knowing it would cause you nothing but pain. He didn't deserve you and he had known that from the start.

Yet every night you met, kissing under the pale moon until your lips grew numb. Everynight he found himself falling deeper and deeper into you until you filled his dreams and nightmares alike. So he forced you closer to him, knowing he would cause nothing but hurt. And you were so childishly in love you let him.

Later as you lay asleep on his chest, legs tangled beneath a blanket he let his own tears go, silent apologies dripping down his cheek as he tightened his grip on your waist.

Lily watched you from where she sat at her table, green eyes narrowed as she tried to read your mind across the dining hall.

“Something is definitely off.” She mumbled turning to James who stared at her with a dopey grin. “You haven’t been listening to a word I said have you?”

“How can I when you’re so beautiful?” He murmured back and she scoffed, face darkening.

Sirius gagged, “You guys are disgusting.”

“Christ Black, how old are you?” Lily spoke with the roll of her eyes.

He scrunched his nose and pretended to mock her silently only earning a sigh from Remus who sat beside him.

“Something is wrong with y/n, I can just feel it.” Lily continued content on ignoring Sirius.

“Maybe she's dating that Callahan kid.” James offered. “There’s been tons of rumors.”

Lily scoffed, “Please, she has told me multiple times she has absolutely no interest in him.”

“A few months ago you were telling her you had absolutely no interest in James.” Remus offered not to look up from his book.

Lily sputtered blushing heavily again, “That is completely different.”

“Sure it is.” Remus drawled, eyes peering over the cover at her.

Lily furrowed her brow, “But why wouldn’t she tell me? I mean I thought we've always been close.”

“Maybe it's not that serious.” Sirius shrugged, “Maybe they’re just fuck buddies or something.”

Lily pulled back in disgust, “Don’t talk about my little sister like that!” she hissed as Remus kicked him under the table.

“What? She’s almost 17! It's not like she's 12 or something, Godric.” Sirius complained and James threw a spoon at him.

“You know if you’re really that curious we could always just check the map.” James said looking over at Lily who was trying to set Sirius on fire with her glare.

She considered it for a moment, “Isn’t that kind of..” she paused “intrusive?”

He shrugged, “She's your little sister.”

The sky was dark that night as you met with Regulus. The moon was new leaving only the blinking stars to light the ground beneath you.

You grinned when you saw Regulus leaning against the small statue in the middle of the courtyard. You quickened your pace pulling him into a brief kiss as you met.

“Hi.” You whispered against his lips and you felt him smile.

“Hi.” He responded, hands on your waist pulling you closer once again.

You tasted sweet like the nectar of the gods, soft and tender in his arms. Your hair smelt of pomegranate, your flowery perfume engulfing him. There was nothing more addicting on this world than your lips.

You both pulled away breathless and grinning stupidly, “Your hair looks so cute like this.” You mumbled running your hands through it and tugging lightly on a curly lock that had fallen down his forehead.

Regulus practically purred, melting into your touch. He dipped his head low to hide his blush, lips skimming the skin of your neck.

You giggled as he mumbled a bashful thank you before nipping slightly below your ear. He was always careful to never leave marks that could be seen the following day. You wished he wasn’t.

You felt his hands on the back of your thighs lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck and buried your nose in his hair as he walked until your back hit the wall of the castle. You scratched your nails lightly against his scalp and Regulus groaned. You gasped at the feeling of his tongue on your jaw as he pressed you further into the stone. Your legs now wrapped around his waist as he left sloppy kisses on your collar bone.

It was then you heard the shuffle of footsteps.

“Regulus.” You whispered and he broke away to look up at you, his lips red and glossy , “I heard someone.”

He slowly lowered you to your feet, “You sure?”

You nodded and you both stood silently, ears craning for another sign of life among you. After a minute you sighed, “Sorry, I must have been hearing things.”

Regulus just shook his head grinning lightly, “ ‘s fine babe.” words slurring, intoxicated by your taste.

Your lips reconnected, his teeth grazing your bottom lip as you began to work on the buttons of his shirt, tugging on his tie to loosen its knot. But there it was again the soft sound of feet, closer this time.

You both paused Regulus pulling away leaving your skin feeling cold in his absence.

“Who’s there?” He demanded into the darkness, wand lit.

There was no response and you grabbed his hand to pull him back to you. Regulus stood his ground so you leaned into him, lips ghosting against his ear.

“It's probably just a mouse or somethin’.” You murmured hands coming back to undo the remaining buttons of his shirt.

Regulus glanced around once more before looking down at you, “You’re probably right.” he said before he began to untuck your blouse, hands sliding slowly under it.

It was that which finally broke Lily, her vision going red. She stepped from beneath the invisibility cloak ignoring James' protests.

You let out a small yelp as your sister appeared from thin air, Regulus who had his back turned to her immediately drew his wand pushing you lightly behind him. His eyes went wide as he found himself inches from your older sister. It was your turn to pull Regulus behind you.

“Lily, What in bloody hell are you doing here?”

When James sheepishly appeared as well you gasped, “What is wrong with you both, are you stalking me?”

Lily looked stern, her arms crossed, “Why are you with him?” she seethed.

Your eyes narrowed, “None of your fucking buissnes. Now take your dog and leave.”

Regulus almost didn't believe it was you that was talking. He wasn’t accustomed to the harsh tone you used, your anger hardly ever directed at him.

“This is most certainly my business!” She spoke shrilly.

“It is most certainly not. Now get out.” You shouted.

“How can you expect me to leave when you're getting all touchy feely with a purist?” She hissed, grabbing at your wrist to pull you away from the boy behind you. You slapped her away so hard the sound echoed off the walls, “Call him that again around me and you’ll fucking regret it.” You growled.

Lily stepped back surprised by your sudden aggression but not backing down, “Please y/n, I’m just calling it as it. The sooner you realise that the better.”

Regulus felt his throat tighten as he listened, teeth biting into his lip as he had nowhere to look but his feet.

You stepped closer to your sister inches from her face, “Leave.” your voice struck heavy.

Lily responded just as harshly, “No.”

James shifted behind his girlfriend feeling like he was intruding on the fight which was taking place. Sensing his awkwardness you looked back at him with a searing gaze.

“Get out Potter, you have no place here.” You spat.

He was planning on shuffling away when Lily turned back to him angrily, “No James stay.”

You scoffed as he did as he was told, “Fucking pet.”

“Don’t speak to him like that.” Lily scolded.

“You're the one who's calling my boyfriend a purist.” You growled your mouth bitter at the taste of hypocrisy.

“Because he is one!” She bit back. “You really think he actually loves you after being raised how he was? With a mother like his?”

Regulus felt like he had been slapped, his cheek stinging as the older girl spoke.

“Don’t you dare bring up his mother.” You were shaking with rage by now, your face streaked with angry tears, “And how dare you speak ill of Regulus simply because of his upbringing as if his brother isn't one of your closest friends. How do you think Sirius would feel hearing what you just said?”

This took Lily back a step, her rage cooling a bit as she realised her mistake, “It’s different,” She tried to recover, “He isn't with his family anymore. Sirius has already broken away from them. He made the choice any good person would.”

Regulus felt her eyes on him as she spoke. She was no longer interested in her sister and instead focused on him. He felt like he was choking under the pressure of her stare. When he glanced up to meet her gaze he inhaled sharply. He hadn’t seen such hatred in a long time.

Your lashes were thick with tears by now, disgust and fury morphing your face, “Go fuck yourself Lily.” You spat.

She ignored you, gaze locked on Regulus, she had no intention of speaking to you anymore, “You stay away from her.” she demanded, “If you truly love her you stay away from her.”

You shouted lunging forwards and shoving your sister backwards. She stumbled back catching herself.

It was you who fell, your feet tangling, forcing you to the ground. You hit hard, hands and knees scraping against stones and moss which made up the floor. You couldn’t find it in you to stand up simply letting exhaustion and misery take you where you lay. You shook with sobs, voice cracked and raw. Lily immediately dropped beside you, hands circling your neck as she drew you into a hug. You fought her as you always did but she held on, letting you beat her chest with your fists until you stilled.

Regulus took a step forward but was stopped by your sister whose glare told him everything he needed to know. Tears pricking his own eyes he stumbled past the two of you and disappeared into the darkness of the dungeons. He didn't hear James shout for him over the sound of the ring in his ears. He wasn’t sure where he ended up, somewhere deep in the depths of the sprawling castle, dust coated the staircase he collapsed onto. Only there did he let himself cry, choking sobs rubbing his throat raw as he looked for someone to blame. His mother for forcing him into the terrifying world of dark magic? His brother for abandoning him in his abusive home? Or your sister for pointing out the truth he prayed you would never see? Regulus wished he could pass the blame off to anyone but he wasn’t stupid, he knew he had no one to hate but himself.

Regulus disappeared entirely for three days. Three days you spent desperately avoiding your sister who seemed just as adamant to talk to you again. You skipped meals opting for hunger instead risking meeting her in the hall. She would show up outside your classes forcing you to scramble out the back way or sprint away like a child running from punishment.

On the fourth day of your boyfriend's absence you felt yourself beginning to panic. Fear of him never returning, filling your head with irrational thoughts. It wasn’t like you could ask around for him, your relationship needed to remain secret despite the difficulties you were facing. It was then Lily cornered you.

You stared at the redhead as she blocked your only exit. “Lily, move.” You sighed exhausted by the past few days, sleepless nights not improving your condition.

She didn't listen, “Y/n we need to talk.”

"About what?" You scoffed, "I have nothing to say to you.”

“I just want you to understand why I,” She paused, “Why I said what I did.”

“I don't care why you said it Lily.” You said, “I don’t care if you think you were protecting me or saving me from some hopeless relationship. I honestly don’t care.”

Her eyes swelled, “How can you say that? How can you not care? I love you y/n I just want you to be safe.”

You stared at her, “I just don’t understand why you couldn’t just let me be happy.”

“He’s dangerous.”

You shook your head, “No, his family is dangerous. His situation is dangerous. He’s not.”

“Y/n please.” She begged, for what you did not know.

“Just stay out of my shit Lily.” you mumbled pushing past her and back into the hallway.

You spent the night where you always had, the small courtyard hidden between two towers of the castle, a statue of a woman draped in vines and flowers at its center. The moon was a small sliver, a dusting of clouds blocking the stars from your view. The shuffle of footsteps brought your eyes from the ground.

There stood Regulus, his face shining in the pale light. His hands were stuffed in his pockets, nose pointed at the floor as he refused to meet your gaze.

You stood quickly throwing your hands around his neck. He leaned into your touch burying his head into your shoulder as his hands found your waist.

You smelled delightful as always, your lips soft against his cheek and hands in his hair. Regulus hadn’t realized he was crying until you began to comfort him. Sweet words whispered into his ear as you only held him tighter.

“She’s right, you know.” He croaked, lifting his head to look at you. “You shouldn’t be around me.”

You shook your head feverishly, “You’re wrong Reggy.”

“I don’t deserve you y/n, I don’t deserve to be with you.” He sobbed, “I could never deserve you.”

“You’re right, love.” You mumbled, smiling through the tears that coated your cheeks, “You deserve so much better.”

♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~

taglist:@accio-rogers @roslea @k3nz-doodl3 @theseuscmander @sleepingalaska @chloe-geoghegan1 @coldlilheart @suseptiable-bur-siriusexual @the-natureofme @trickylittlewitch @layaa-layaaa @rosieweasleyy @dracosgoodgirl @inglourious-imagines @princess-jules47 @daedreamss @d22malfoys

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obeymeoasis · 3 years

Text

Demon Bros React: MC Is Insecure

Warnings: mentions of insecurity surrounding body image, physical appearance, self-worth.

Lucifer

It was the day after a party Diavolo had thrown at his castle. You had had fun for the most part, dancing with the brothers and eating delicious foods prepared by Barbatos.

But you also remembered how it had felt to look around the room and realize you were surrounded by gorgeous demons, not a single flaw on anyone’s face. Doubt and insecurity had begun to creep into your mind, and that feeling had carried over into the next day.

You had only talked briefly with Lucifer at the party because he was too busy interacting with Diavolo’s guests. Every time you tried to catch his eye, you noticed how beautiful whoever he was talking to was and found yourself swallowing down your greeting.

Currently Lucifer was at his desk like always, scribbling down notes and shuffling through papers. You brought him afternoon tea and sat reading in one of his armchairs to keep him company.

You had been telling yourself that you were going to ask him the question that was burning in your mind, but an hour had already passed since you first came in. You tried to distract yourself with your book but the words were fuzzy on the page. Finally, you spoke. “Luci?”

He didn’t look up from his desk when he answered, “Yes, love?”

“Do you... do you ever wish I was more beautiful?”

The scratching of his pen stopped immediately and Lucifer lowered the papers he was holding to show his face, a carefully blank expression revealing nothing. “What exactly do you mean by that question?”

“I mean exactly what I asked. Do you ever wish I was more beautiful? More attractive? As the Avatar of Pride have you ever been... embarrassed to be seen with me?”

At this Lucifer’s expression grew cold and furious. “Has someone... made you feel this way? Has someone made you feel as if you are inadequate?” You shook your head sadly and whispered, “No, just my own brain.”

“Ah, I see. Well pet, I don’t ever wish you were more beautiful because you are the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen. So it would be physically impossible for you to be more beautiful than you are now.”

You snorted. “Luci, that was so cheesy. Your brothers would throw up if they heard what you just said.” Lucifer’s lips quirked up in amusement. “Well, I’m glad I was able to make you laugh. And I do mean what I said. I’ve never once felt embarrassed to be with you; you are my pride, the source of my happiness. If anyone were to suggest otherwise, I would gladly kill them.”

“Luci, we’ve been over this. You can’t just kill everyone who is mildly rude to me.”

Lucifer went back to working on his papers but there was a gentle smile on his face. “Darling, you’ll find that I definitely can. I have a permit.”

Mammon

You were regretting tagging along to one of Mammon’s photo shoots. At first, it seemed like a fun idea getting to look at all the clothes, makeup, and jewelry. Plus, you really wanted to see what Mammon was like when he was working professionally.

It was fun at first, you cooing over how handsome Mammon looked in his outfit and watching him get all flustered and blushy. But then the actual photoshoot started and you watched as Mammon posed with a stunning model.

You tried to not let your insecurities get the best of you. You were here to support Mammon! But as the shoot progressed you couldn’t help but start to compare yourself, keeping track of how they were more beautiful and you more flawed.

The photographer stopped to take a break and Mammon immediately bounced over to you. “MC, did you see me? How does it feel to watch the Great Mammon in his natural element? I look good, don’t I?”

You caressed Mammon’s cheek and feigned a bright smile. “You were amazing Mammon! You look so handsome. And this is such a cool outfit!” But Mammon was somehow always able to tell when you were faking a good mood and he frowned. “MC, is something wrong? You look sad. Did something happen?”

You opened your mouth, an excuse ready on your lips, but found you couldn’t lie right to Mammon’s face. You gestured toward the model who was talking to their manager in the corner. “Do you ever wish I looked like that?”

Mammon cocked his head, confused. “Do I ever wish you had blue hair? Not particularly? Although now that I think about it, blue hair would look cool on you too.”

You sighed. “No, I mean do you ever wish I looked like a model? Sexier? Or prettier?” Mammon thought for a moment, processing your question, and then frowned. “Oh no no no. Treasure, what’s this all about? What happened?”

“Sorry Mams, I didn’t want to distract you while you’re working. I just got really low and insecure all of a sudden. Started thinking about how you should be with someone really beautiful, you know? And sometimes I feel like that’s not me.”

Clearly upset, Mammon rushed to give you a crushing hug, tucking your head underneath his chin. “MC I- I wish I could beam my thoughts into your head. That way you’d really believe me when I say that you’re so precious to me. Every day I wake up and think about how lucky I am to be with you.”

You chuckled a little. “I do put up a lot with you, don’t I.” Mammon gently smacked you on your back. “Hey! I’ve been good lately! But seriously MC, you are stunning. You are gorgeous. And it’s okay if you don’t believe me right now because- because I’ll tell you as many times as you need me to! I’ll tell you a thousand times a day! A million times!”

You tried to blink away the tears in your eyes and held onto Mammon even tighter. “Thanks Mams, I love you so much.”

“Love you too treasure. Your first man’s gonna take care of you, don’t you worry about a thing.”

Leviathan

Usually you liked watching anime with Levi; it was one of your favorite things to do together. Levi was always more happy and lively when watching with you because he was able to express his opinions freely without judgment. And you thought it was adorable how excited Levi got over his favorite characters and storylines.

Today, you were snuggled together on some cushions re-watching an episode of “The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demon Girl”. At first you were enjoying the episode, laughing as Ruri got used to the oddities of the human world. But Levi’s repeated comments about how cute Ruri-chan was, which you usually never minded, started to bother you a bit.

You took a quick glance around the room, noting Levi’s enormous collection of Ruri-chan posters, figurines, and other merch. Levi tapped you on the knee, interrupting your thoughts. “MC, you’re missing the best part! What are you looking at?”

You sighed a little, struggling to act nonchalant. “Sorry Levi, it’s nothing. I’m still watching.” Frowning, Levi paused the episode and turned to look at you. “Hey, what’s up?”

Taking a deep breath, you said “Levi, I’m not Ruri-chan.” He narrowed his eyes in confusion. “Yes... I know?”

You continued, “I don’t look like Ruri-chan. Does that bother you?”

“Does it bother me... that you don’t look like an anime character?” He repeated the question slowly, as if you had asked him the strangest question in the world.

Frustrated, you blurted out “I don’t look like Ruri-chan! I’m never going to be as cute as her!”

Levi looked completely bewildered, his eyes wide and staring at you in confusion. “B-But you are cute! MC, w-what are you even talking about?”

Embarrassed at your outburst you looked down at the floor silently. Levi scooted over toward you so that your knees were touching and he waited until you broke the silence. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m good enough. I think maybe you’d like it if I looked cuter or acted cuter, like the characters in anime.”

Levi hesitated for a moment before quickly grabbing onto your hand, blushing furiously as he did so. "MC, I-I already think you're c-cute. Really really cute. So don't say things like that. And also, I like you because you're you! Not because you're like someone else."

"And you make me really happy. I'm just a gross otaku. I never thought I'd be able to... to find someone like you. Someone who accepts me."

He tried to lock eyes with you but blushed even harder and stared at your joined hands. "Plus, I couldn't to-touch an anime character. But I can touch you. I can hold your hand or give you hugs whenever you need it, o-okay?"

You leaned your head onto Levi's shoulder and closed your eyes, letting the peaceful silence wash over you.

Satan

You were accompanying Satan on a trip to one of his favorite stores: an antique shop that sold all manner of rare books and artifacts. The owner, Ms. Sparrow, was a friend of Satan’s and she welcomed the two of you wholeheartedly.

Today, she looked as gorgeous as she always did. Her chic pearl dress and matching silk gloves shone against her dark skin. Not a curl in her hair was out of place and even the click-clack of her heels on the floor seemed melodious somehow.

You left Satan to look at the books and went wandering off into the various aisles of the store, marveling at all the bits and bobs. In one of the over-stuffed corners you happened to find a glittering silver key on a red velvet ribbon. Taking it in your hand, you went back through to show it off to Satan, wanting to ask him what he thought it opened.

But Satan was busy chatting and laughing with Ms. Sparrow. You watched the two of them for a moment and noticed how well they complimented each other. Both had a certain poise, a kind of confidence and certainty in their movements.

On your walk back to the dorms, you were unusually quiet and Satan noticed. “Pet, is something the matter?”

You hesitated, wondering if Satan was going to find your insecurity childish. “Satan, I’m not very....elegant.”

“Yes, I know. You choked on a piece of bread yesterday. The day before that you tripped over absolutely nothing and fell down.” He smiled, expecting for you to get riled up, but it fell when he saw that you looked dejected. “Love, what is the matter? Have I upset you?”

You avoided his gaze. “Sometimes... sometimes I wonder if I bring you down by being with you. I feel like you deserve someone elegant and sophisticated. Someone who matches you. But I’m not. I’m clumsy and messy and not perfect, like Ms. Sparrow.”

Satan’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Ms. Sparrow? What does she have anything to with this?” He turned you around so that you were facing him. “Pet, please look at me. I love you. And I’m not with you in spite of you being clumsy or messy. I love you because you’re clumsy and messy, because those are parts of you and I love all of you.”

He leaned down to press his forehead against yours. “And why would I need someone perfect? Am I perfect? Yesterday you saw me screaming at my cup because I accidentally spilled some tea and burned my finger.”

You shrugged while giggling, “I thought it was a perfectly reasonable response.” You wrapped your arms around his and buried your face into his shoulder. “Thanks, Satan. You always know how to make me feel better.”

He reached down to give you a gentle kiss. “Anytime, love. I’m always here for you.”

Asmodeus

Asmo has a lot of fans across all his social media accounts. That was made perfectly clear the first time you went on a date with him outside. Sitting in the trendy coffeeshop, several people had come up to ask him for a picture or an autograph. He was never shy about you and always introduced you as his sweetheart, cooing about how beautiful you were.

Some days it was okay. You loved seeing the bubbly social-butterfly side of Asmo. He was always so sweet to everyone who came up to him and genuinely enjoyed meeting new people. But other days, your insecurity rose up like a huge wave and dampened everything.

This particular day you were shopping with Asmo in a new boutique that had opened up. You were aimlessly flicking through the racks of clothes when you heard a large squealing.

Two demons ran up to Asmo, talking and gesturing excitedly. You could make out that they followed him on Devilgram and were asking if he was willing to take a picture with them. These demons were some of the most attractive beings you had ever seen. Their clothes were incredibly stylish and their hair and makeup were done flawlessly.

Looking around the shop, in all of the full length mirrors you could see the reflection of Asmo and his beautiful fans. And you looked out of place, like a puzzle piece that didn’t fit in at all.

Tearing up, you grabbed a random pair of jeans off the rack and ran into a changing room. You turned away from the mirror, not wanting to look at yourself, and took deep breaths to try and keep from bursting into sobs. After a few moments Asmo began looking for you, having finished taking pictures. “Sweetheart, are you changing? Let me see what you’re wearing when you’re done!”

At the sound of his voice you burst into tears and your attempts to muffle the noise were futile. Outside the door, Asmo’s voice sounded panicked. “Darling, are you okay? What’s the matter? Please come outside, whatever it is please let me help you!” You hesitated, not wanting to face him, but this made him even more frantic. He started jiggling the doorknob and knocking on the door.

You opened it, afraid that he would accidentally break the doorknob leaving you trapped inside. As soon as he saw you he gathered you in his arms and began making shushing noises while smoothing your hair. “Sweetheart, why are you crying? Please talk to me, please tell me what’s wrong.”

You tried to get the words out in between sobs and hiccups. “A-Asmo, don’t you want someone m-more beautiful? Someone who-who looks g-good with you?” Asmo paused for a moment, processing your words, and then his eyes burned with anger. “Sweetheart, did one of my fans say something mean to you? Did someone make you feel like this?”

You shook your head vigorously. “No, just me.” Asmo breathed a sigh of relief at hearing no one had harrassed you and resumed smoothing your hair. “Oh, darling. You ARE beautiful. You’re stunning, sweetheart. I wish you could see the way I saw you, how adorable and gorgeous you are. And I understand that there are going to be days when you don’t believe me, when you feel like you’re not. But at least don’t go through those days alone, okay?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak without tearing up again.

"Now, let's go get some ice cream. We can eat it while taking a bubble bath."

Beelzebub

You weren’t really sure why Beel liked you coming with him to the gym all the time, even if you didn’t exercise. He said your presence was calming and that it made him focus better, which was odd because a lot of the time you just sat on an unoccupied machine and scrolled through your D.D.D.

Today was much the same, with Beel running on the treadmill and you watching some videos. The gym was pretty empty, just a few students exercising here and there.

Your eyes drifted to Beel who was running without even breaking a sweat. His body was all solid muscle: his arms, legs, and abs looked perfectly chiseled and toned. Last week you accidentally ran into Beel in the hallway and it felt like you had smashed into a brick wall. Beel, on the other hand, was completely fine.

You began to wonder what Beel thought about your body. He could be pretty handsy at times and he wasn’t shy in his affections. But what if there was something he didn’t like? Something that he thought needed changing?

He’s never mentioned anything about exercising to you before. But you thought back to the students you had seen in this gym: all of them were extremely fit with incredible bodies. You couldn’t help but start to compare yourself to them and think that maybe you were lacking.

Just then, Beel finished his run and walked over to you. You weren’t sure what kind of facial expression you were making but it seemed enough to concern him because he asked, “MC, is everything okay?”

“Hey Beel... do you ever wish I had a nicer body?”

He squinted in confusion. “What do you mean by ‘a nicer body’?”

“I don’t know... just better. Whatever nicer looks like for you.”

Beel was quiet for a moment, thinking. “No, I've never wished for that before. I still don't know what you mean by 'nicer'. I love you. And I love your body because its yours. The only thing that matters to me is whether you’re happy. And as long as I'm still allowed to touch you, then I'm happy.”

He looked at you nervously then, biting his lip. "Am I... still allowed to touch you?"

You laughed and reached to give him a hug, loving how safe it felt in his arms. "Of course, big guy. Thanks for making me feel better. You always know what to say."

Beel flushed with pride and closed his eyes in happiness, leaning into your hand as you patted him on the head.

Belphegor

You knew you were dreaming because you were sitting in a R.A.D classroom surrounded by fellow students, but you couldn’t focus on any of their faces. They were blurry, as if someone had smudged them like an artist had smudged some charcoal.

You were at your desk, looking around the classroom, when as if on cue all of the students began to slowly gather around you. They stood there silently for a moment, unmoving, and you felt a shiver go up your spine.

And then one by one the students began to hurl insults at you.

“You’re not good enough. Not good enough for Belphegor.” “You’re ugly, you’re hideous. “You’re unwanted, go back to where you came from.” “You don’t deserve what you have, don’t deserve good.” “You’re weak.” “You ruin others, you ruin everything.”

As they insulted you the students began to draw themselves closer, pushing and shoving to reach you. They almost made a cover over your desk as if to block out all the light. You hunched over your desk, shaking and panicking, trying to curl up to protect yourself.

One of the demons began shaking your shoulder roughly, you yelping in pain. He began yelling in your ear, “Wake up! Wake up!”

“MC! Wake up!”

You startled awake and looked around the room in fear. You were in Belphie’s bed, your pajamas sticking to you with sweat. Belphie was looking at you with concern, one hand still on your shoulder.

“MC, you’re okay. It’s just me. It was just a nightmare.” You let out a sob and buried yourself in his arms while he patted you on the back until your breaths evened out.

“D-Did you see my dream?” you asked. You were nervous about showing Belphie that weak side of you, the insecurities that had been brewing since the two of you had begun a relationship. He looked apologetic. “I did. You were whimpering and shaking in your sleep. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

He reached over, one hand smoothing your hair, the fingers of his other hand interlaced with yours. “None of what they said was true, you know.” You looked down, embarrassed. “I mean it, MC. You are good enough. You’re beautiful, you’re wanted, you deserve all the nice and beautiful things in the world, you’re strong. And most importantly, you lift others up. You lift me up everyday.”

He lifted up your hand and pressed a kiss against it. “You lifted me out of darkness. I love you so much. And I’ll gladly stay by your side, for as long as you’ll have me.”

You grabbed the front of his sweater to draw him into a rough kiss, lips bruising. “Forever, Belphie. Forever.”

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mysunnylemonade · 3 years

Text

insecurities | lee jeno

↳ pairing: lee jeno (nct) x fem!reader

↳ genre: slight angst, mostly fluff & suggestive but only if u squint rlly hard

↳ word count: 1482

↳ warning: reader being insecure about her looks i guess?? (love urself ppl yall beautiful <3)

song recommendation: met a girl by tarune

♡

Hate was a strong word, but you felt it was appropriate to say that you absolutely hated nights like the one you were having on this particular day. Standing half-naked in front of the full-body mirror situated in the corner of your shared bedroom, your eyes swept over your body once more. You despised the way your gaze lingered on the stretch marks that tainted your skin.

Wallowing in self-pity and stressing over your physical flaws wasn't exactly a standard routine for you, especially when Jeno was around. But your boyfriend wouldn't be back until late at night, having texted you he had something to do that would require him to stay at the studio longer than usual.

You turned to the side, pressing your palm over your stomach, rubbing up and down as if it would magically flatten your abdomen. Nothing happened, of course, leaving you feeling sick and fed up with the thoughts you were having.

You wiped the tears accumulating in your eyes, not allowing it to trickle down your cheeks. You could see your boyfriend's face in your mind and briefly wondered whether you were truly good enough for him. You didn't blame your insecurities on him, never. Your boyfriend was nothing but loving, and he showered you with gifts just as much as he showered you with loving words, but there were times when it was remarkably hard to believe his kind words.

You wished you could miraculously switch off your mind and climb out of this self-loathing pit you had willingly put yourself into. It was your fault, you would admit that. If you hadn't decided to strip into your underwear and scrutinise yourself in the mirror then maybe you would've been in the dining room enjoying the dinner you had made by now.

As you were stepping closer to the mirror to get a better lock at your face, you heard the turning of a key in a lock before the front door was pushed open. The realisation that Jeno had come home much earlier than you expected kept you paralysed on the spot. It wasn't until you heard the front door shutting that you were finally able to move, hastily wiping the tears from your reddened eyes and shrugging on the robe you had carelessly tossed onto the bed.

You heard him call for your name but you didn't respond, scurrying into the bathroom to wash your face in hopes of being able to get rid of any evidence that you had been crying. Jeno couldn't know. You weren't going to drag him into your mess.

You cursed to yourself as you studied your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Your cheeks and nose were flushed, and your eyes were unmistakably bloodshot. There was no way Jeno wouldn't notice.

"Baby, you in here?" Jeno called out from the entrance of the bedroom. You heard shuffling as he took off his jacket. When he spoke again, his voice was dangerously close to the bathroom, and you immediately faked a smile. "Hey, why haven't you eaten dinner yet? Were you waiting for me?"

Turning your head, you were met with your boyfriend's figure standing in the bathroom doorway. It tugged your heart to see him look so beautiful, even after a whole day of working. You just couldn't understand why he had chosen you. Why hadn't he picked someone with less baggage and imperfections?

You watched as his small smile transformed into a frown. Without any hesitation, he stepped forward to grab your hand. "Hey, have you been crying? What's wrong?"

You forced a quiet chuckle. "I was watching this new romance movie that just released." You watched his face closely, swallowing when you saw that his worried expression hadn't dissipated at all. "Have you eaten dinner yet? Go shower and come eat dinner with me."

You squeezed his hand assuringly once more before walking past him to give him some privacy in the bathroom. "Were you really just watching a movie? You look like you've been crying for hours."

You plopped onto the bed with a huff and looked up to see Jeno had walked out of the bathroom and was slowly approaching your sitting form. "Babe, we've been dating long enough for you to know I'm sensitive when it comes to tragic endings."

He stood in front of you, cupping your cheeks in his hand to tilt your head up. "Yeah, and I also know my girlfriend enough to know whenever she's lying."

You managed to smile and shake your head as he pressed his thumbs to caress the irritated skin underneath your puffy eyes. "Jeno, I'm okay."

Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against yours, causing your noses to brush. The both of you stayed like that for a few more seconds, and you welcomed the distraction. You wanted to forget the cause of your previous breakdown and Jeno's presence was helping tremendously.

Feeling the gentle brush of his lips against yours, you gasped, hands flying to grasp his arms. "Jeno," you breathed, pulling away slightly to look into his eyes. They were dark, wild, so lovely.

"Tell me," he muttered softly.

Unable to look into his eyes as you confessed, you looked down at your lap. "I'm sorry," you began. "It's just so stupid. You're the best boyfriend there is, you treat me so well, and you're just so beautiful, Jeno, and I don't know how to... compete with that."

Once again, he forced your head up so he could look into his eyes. "Baby, we're not competing for anything. What are you trying to say?"

"I just can't understand why you're still with me. I'm so flawed, and you can settle for someone who's so much more good looking, someone who can give you so much more than I can."

Jeno's face remained expressionless as he gazed down at you, but you could tell the gears in his head were all turning. His silence worried you so you shifted in your seat awkwardly.

He seemed to notice your slight movement and finally snapped out of his train of thoughts. "Wait, you're not messing with me, right?"

Groaning, you tried to stand up, but he held your waist before you could walk away. "Okay, I know it's stupid. Can we just forget about it? Please?"

His eyes widened and he pulled you closer to him until there was no space left in between the two of you. "No, no, this is far from stupid. If you feel this way, it means I haven't done a good job at being your boyfriend. I'm supposed to be making you feel loved, but—"

"No! You've been a perfect boyfriend, you're perfect. It's not your fault, seriously, it's mine."

"If this is about the way you look, then I'll have to disagree and say that it's not your fault. Everything you consider imperfections or flaws, they're a part of you, and I fell in love with that a long time ago, and I'm not falling out of love anytime soon."

"I'm sorry for being so insecure. I just... I feel like you deserve better."

His lips broke out into a soft yet wistful smile. "You're not in any position to tell me what I deserve and don't baby," he mumbled lightheartedly. "Being with you was a choice that I made, loving you is something that I choose to do until now. All these choices that I made are all choices that I made deliberately, not because I'm forced to."

Unable to say anything else, your tears began to blur your visions once again, but this time it was because you were thankful. You felt so blessed that out of all of the people in the world, you ended up with Lee Jeno—a boy whose smile shone as bright as the sun and whose heart was beautiful and kind. "I love you so much," you managed to splutter out.

Sensing the oncoming tears, Jeno bent his knees a little so that he was eye-level with you. "Hey, don't cry, I love you too," he spoke, his smile now reaching his eyes, turning them into the little crescent moon that you adored so much. "You make me happy, and that's more than enough for me. Is that enough for you?"

You nodded. "All I ever want is for you to be happy, Jeno."

He visibly relaxed at this, and gone was the solemn atmosphere that once lingered in the air. "That's settled then. You're not getting rid of me that easily because you want me happy and I'm the happiest when I'm with you. So, will you lie down on the bed for me now?"

Tilting your head, you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. "Why?"

"I still need to show you how beautiful you are to me and I don't think words are gonna cut it."

"Lee Jeno!"

♡

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bumbleklee · 4 years

Note

Hi I'm the anon who requested the Childe x zhongli x reader one. I deeply apologize I am so so sorry I should have specified but yes! Childe and zhongli are dating at the beginning, and poly at the end with reader. Only if your comfortable with it though! I'm sorry once again I should have specified more clearly T-T

original ask: Um feel free to ignore This ask but zhongli x Childe x reader where Zhongli and childe are dating and reader has been in love with both of them and thinks their love is unrequited, but they're happy with only giving love and not receiving anything in return. But then one day they meet someone new and start spending more time with them, pulling away from zhongli and childe which leads them to getting angry and confessing + jealous nsfw at the end. Feel free to ignore tho, no pressure. Have a good day and take care :)

hopefully i did you justice lol, i was still a tiny bit confused so i apologize if this isn’t 100% of what you were looking for but i hope you still like it!!! this is a part 1 of 2 and the nsfw work scene is going to be in part 2 (expect that in a couple days) PART 2 HERE

cw: polyamourous relationship, little bit of angst, a little over 3k words, hu tao has a brother in this named jiang

summary: your first crush is zhongli and when it’s evident he doesn’t like you back, you try to turn your feelings to childe. so when childe and zhongli start dating, your heart is shattered. thinking there’s no hope for love, you meet jiang. sounds great - the only issue? zhongli and childe seem to have a problem with this.

Alongside Zhongli, you were a mortician at the Wangshen Funeral Home. Over the months of working beside him, you had become quite close to him. In fact, Zhongli considered you one of his closest friends in Liyue. After long days at the parlor you would go out to dinner together and despite having to pay most of the time, you were happy to spend time with him.

Your feelings towards Zhongli were growing to be more than platonic but you could never tell him. You were too different from him and while you were sure he appreciated your friendship, you couldn’t imagine him reciprocating your true feelings.

So when you’re introduced to a young man named Childe, you thought this would be your way to weasel out of your one-sided love. Childe was cheeky and sweet to you, nearly winning your heart instantly. He hung around Zhongli often and it became unusual to see either of them alone. Slowly, your crush on Zhongli soon shifted to Childe.

Unlike before, you began to dress nicer to work if you knew Childe was going to be coming along that day. You examined the way Childe interacted with Zhongli versus you and the difference made you hopeful that Childe was feeling something for you. Sometimes he would even stay at the parlor with you if Zhongli needed to run out for a bit.

When Childe asked you to Wanmin for dinner one night, your heart swelled. You had been alone for too long and now a rich, handsome local from Snezhnaya was courting you, right?

You were giddy for the remaining hour of your shift, even telling Hu Tao that you had a date after work. When the time came, Childe waited for you at the entrance and you happily skipped beside him. He made a comment about how you seemed to be in a good mood and you could only chuckle - wasn’t he, too?

“Order whatever you want,” Childe told you once you both were seated at a table. Your eyes glazed over the menu, racing back and forth between too many options. You heard Childe sigh and you looked up briefly to see his fingers fumbling with each other. “You’re probably wondering why I asked you to dinner, huh?”

Beneath the table, your legs twisted anxiously. You hid your excited smile and tilted your head, trying to make a cute facial expression. Was Childe going to ask you to be his partner? Or was it too soon to do that? Despite your age, you hadn’t been on a proper date in ages. Were things different when you were a teenager than when you were an adult?

One of Childe’s hands made its way across the table and you let him take your own. His hand felt incredibly soft and warm and you wanted desperately to interlock your fingers.

“Since you're my closest friend in Liyue, I wanted to tell you this before anyone else,” Childe began. The first part of his sentence made your chest flutter but you decided to pay no mind to it. Perhaps you had just gotten closer to Childe than Zhongli lately. But what Childe said next made your heart drop into the pit of your stomach, “I’m going to ask Zhongli to be my partner.”

“Like, work partner?” You said, your words catching in your throat. You knew exactly what Childe meant. How could you have been so stupid?

Childe let out a hearty laugh, “No, not a work partner. I want to be his boyfriend.”

Your hand fell limp in Childe’s and you swore you stopped breathing in that moment. Not only were you extremely upset, you were suddenly extremely embarrassed. You told Hu Tao this was a date! You face grew red and you averted your eyes to your lap. But it all made sense. Childe wasn’t talking to you in a special way - he was talking to Zhongli. Looking back on your personal conversations with Childe, you realized that most of them centered around Zhongli or Zhongli’s personality. You were just so infatuated with trying to please Childe that you hadn’t noticed.

“So, what do you think?”

What did you think? You thought it was the most stupid, heart wrenching idea ever. You thought Childe was the worst person in the world for leading you on (even though deep down you knew he didn’t really lead you on) and you thought Childe should just go back to Snezhnaya.

“Great!” You said, plastering a fake smile on your face, “I’m happy for you.”

Childe gave your hand a squeeze and finally let go. Your own hand slithered back to your lap where you grasped angrily at the hem of your shirt.

You ordered the most expensive item on the menu.

***

You spent the next few weeks putting up a false identity. The day after your dinner with Childe, he followed through with his idea and started to date Zhongli. You hated to admit it, but they were the perfect couple. Childe helped bring Zhongli out of his reclusiveness and Zhongli helped Childe become a more mature person.

Since both men were still your friends, they wanted to continue their relationship with you. And you didn’t have the heart to tell them to leave you alone. Now that they were dating, it was always the three of you and you quickly grew to their third wheel.

Childe offered to do commissions with you and, of course, Zhongli came along and your usual table during lunch with Zhongli had to be changed so a third person could fit. It was fun at first since Zhongli and Childe were still getting comfortable with their new dynamic but once they discovered intimacy and physical touch, you had enough.

Not only did you have to suffer through not one but two one-sided crushes just to have them start dating each other, now you had to sit by and watch them practically drool all over each other. Instead of going out to lunch with the couple one day, you made up an excuse about work you needed to finish and collapsed in a chair in Hu Tao’s office once they had left.

The funeral director looked at you over a mound of paperwork, “You’re not going out today?”

“And watch Childe try feeding Zhongli for an hour? No thanks.”

You crossed your arms, annoyed, and fixed your sight on the ticking clock on the wall. Hu Tao shifted her small body so she was sitting on her desk facing you, her legs hanging off the side and her feet kicking the side of her desk.

“What happened?” She asked. At her question, you broke and told your boss everything. Hu Tao sat and listened, staring at you concerned while you ranted about how you were convinced the world was out to get you. When you finished your vent, Hu Tao had a mischievous look on her face, “You just need to find someone new.”

You were quick to roll your eyes, “Yeah, no.”

“Believe me, Y/N, getting a new partner would help get your mind off Zhongli and Childe.”

“And where am I supposed to just find someone to date out of the blue?”

“Are you doing anything after work?”

Knowing Hu Tao, you were more than nervous to see what she had up her sleeve. Nonetheless, you avoided Childe and Zhongli for the rest of the day and cautiously left with Hu Tao. You walked behind her in silence as she led you into Liyue Harbor and to a rather large townhouse. She opened the front door and you followed her inside, immediately being met with a bustling and loud environment.

A child ran by your legs and Hu Tao shouted something inaudible at them. She turned on her heel to you, “Sorry for the chaos. You’re okay with staying for dinner, right?”

You nodded your head, realizing it was probably foolish to say no to your boss (it’s not like you had plans anyways). Hu Tao beamed and clapped her hands together, practically dragging you to the kitchen and shoving you down on a barstool. Beside you sat a rather good-looking man and Hu Tao soon introduced him to you.

“Y/N, this is my older brother Jiang. Please find him well.”

So, this is what the director had in mind.

Jiang held out his hand to you politely and you shook it gently, formally introducing yourself to him. For the next few hours, you and Jiang got to know each other. You learned that he was Hu Tao’s eldest sibling and was a teacher in Liyue Harbor. He was around your age and had a very kind smile. By the end of the night, Jiang expressed his interest in you and asked you on a proper date. Hu Tao only smirked giddily behind the counter.

You and Jiang grew close quickly. Your time spent with him was refreshing and for once, you were finally able to get your mind off Childe and Zhongli. You still saw Zhongli (and sometimes Childe) at work but your relationship had already faltered enough to add awkwardness to your conversations. If Zhongli tried to stop you and talk to you about something other than work, you made up an excuse to scurry along. Despite your new relationship, thinking about Zhongli and Childe caused a familiar pain to appear in your chest.

One night you couldn’t leave fast enough and Zhongli caught your arm, “May I have a word with you?”

“Right now?” You asked, glancing at the clock for emphasis, “I really have to get going.”

“Please,” Zhongli said quietly, “Just for a moment.”

You sighed, knowing you didn’t have a valid excuse rolled up in your sleeve this time. You nodded your head and slipped your bag from your shoulder back onto the chair in front of you. Zhongli retracted his hand from your arm, instead deciding to loosely cross them across his chest.

“Have we done something wrong?” He asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“Childe and I have noticed your absence from our outings,” He explained, his tone remaining very flat, “We miss you.”

You wanted to scoff at him. You weren’t a part of their relationship, why did they miss you? “I’ve just been busy,” You said, “In fact, I started seeing someone.”

Zhongli’s expression at this statement was indescribable. It was as if he had a reaction but was trying to hide it behind tight lips. Even his usual bright eyes were unreadable. “I see,” He said simply. He paused for a moment before flashing you a cheeky, falsified smile, “I’d love to meet them. How about a double date this Saturday? We get off early then.”

You sent Zhongli a similar tight-lipped smirk, “We would love to. See you then.” And with that, you picked up your bag and rushed out of the funeral home, rubbing your temple. You had a bad feeling about this date.

***

Jiang picked you up for your double date at six. You couldn’t help but notice how ravishing he looked that night with his hair slicked back and expensive-looking clothes on his body. Upon further inspection, you could see the faint smudge of eyeliner lining his lashes. Gold jewelry adorned his neck and wrists and you could only assume Hu Tao spent hours making him look this good for you.

“Ready to go?” Jiang asked you, holding his arm out cheekily. You rolled your eyes and grinned, locking your front door and grabbing onto his arm.

You couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach but you didn’t let Jiang know. The last thing he needed was to hear about how the two men he was meeting tonight were former crushes of yours. To him, this double date was a simple outing between coworkers.

You were having dinner together at the Liyue Pavilion as per suggestion of Childe. You were worried about the price but Childe insisted that he would front the bill as always. Part of you missed having your meals constantly covered by the harbinger.

Jiang opened the door to the restaurant for you and you thanked him, slipping inside and spotting the two men you were meeting already at a table. Childe reached up to wave you over and you took Jiang’s arm in yours before heading over there.

“Childe, Zhongli,” You greeted your co-worker and friend, “This is Jiang, my boyfriend.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jiang smiled, reaching his free hand out to Childe and Zhongli who both shook it cautiously. After introducing everyone, you sat down at the table and Childe handed you a menu to look over.

Jiang was being overtly sweet to you, touching your fingertips and leaning into your side. You accepted the gestures, even daring to lay your head against his shoulder while he talked to Zhongli about the cor lapis industry. From the corner of your eye, you watched Childe’s jaw clench and his grip on Zhongli’s arm tightened.

“So, tell us about yourself,” Childe asked Jiang, his tone sharp. Jiang, sweet Jiang, only beamed and sat straighter in his chair, “Zhongli tells me your Hu Tao’s brother, correct?”

“Right! She’s my younger sister,” Jiang shook his head and chuckled softly to himself, “And I teach literature at the Liyue Xueyuan.”

“A teacher?” Childe nearly scoffs, “I suppose that’s why you live with your younger sister.”

Jiang seemed taken aback by this comment but tried to play it off by laughing. You felt a pang in your chest and shot Childe a nasty glare for his unnecessary comment but were only met with his sharp eyes. You swore you could see jealousy swimming in them.

“Now, now,” Zhongli interrupted, “Not everyone is as magnificent as you, Childe. No need to make others feel bad.”

You felt Jiang’s body tense and his eyes averted down to his lap for a moment. “Don’t listen to them,” You told him, “They’re just trying to be funny.”

“I would never dream of humoring you about that,” Zhongli replied to you, “I’m just pointing out the obvious. Aren’t we getting to know each other?”

At that moment, you knew exactly what Childe and Zhongli were doing. You noticed the way they were looking admirably at you and shooting daggers at your date. They were clearly trying to badtalk him and make Jiang seem undesirable in your eyes. Only you couldn’t seem to understand why. Shouldn’t they be happy that you finally found someone to potentially settle down with?

One more backhanded comment was thrown in Jiang’s direction and suddenly your partner stood up from the table. The expression on his face was heart-wrenching, “I’m going to use the restroom.” With that, Jiang hurried away from the table leaving you alone with both men.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?” You snapped, angrily waving your hands around.

“What do you mean?” Childe asked, batting his eyelashes at you in the most painstakingly annoying way ever. Your eyes narrowed and after finding his foot under the table, you stomped on it hard. Childe cursed and crossed his arms, looking down.

Zhongli, understanding Childe was being too immature, spoke up, “You shouldn’t be with him.”

You wanted to tear your hair out, “Who do you think you are to dictate who I can and can’t date?” Your voice was rising but you didn’t care, your frustration jumping out. “Never once have I meddled with your relationship but you think you can with mine?”

“You should be with us.”

Zhongli’s words made you freeze. Was this some sick joke? You wrecked your brain for an incident you caused in the past few months for them to be pranking you like this but you couldn’t think of a single one. Childe reached across the table to grasp your hands and you were still too in shock to pull them away.

“We love you, Y/N, and we should have told you sooner,” Childe says.

You shake your head, “I’m dreaming.”

“You’re not,” Zhongli says, placing his hands over yours and Childe’s, “Please say you’ll be ours.”

Finally, you took a deep breath and looked straight ahead. Zhongli and Childe looked at you with pleading eyes and you felt a rush of emotions explode inside of you. Both of your former crushes were confessing their love to you, asking you to be a part of their relationship. Never once had the thought of a polyamorous relationship crossed your mind but you certainly weren’t opposed to it.

“Okay,” You breathed out, “I will.”

***

Breaking the news to Jiang when he returned back to the table was hard. He was already fragile from being berated before and now you were breaking up with him. You knew you were going to earn an earful from Hu Tao on Monday but you decided to worry about that when the time came.

You had asked Jiang to step aside and in the simplest of terms, you tried to explain the situation.

“So, you’re breaking up with me to date both of them?” He asked in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. His voice was filled with cracks and you wish it didn’t have to be like this. Truthfully, he didn’t understand. How could you be with two people at the same time? “Is this a sex thing? Because I can try harder if that’s-”

“No!” You interrupted, “It’s not, I promise. My heart is just split down the middle for them.”

Jiang sighed again. He may never fully understand your relationship but he appreciated you telling him now rather than later. You offered to walk Jiang home but the man decided he needed some time alone - you didn’t blame him. You wanted to ask Jiang if you could remain friends but the words weren’t coming out of your throat. You watched as Jiang took one last look at you, then the two men at the table, before solemnly walking away and out of the restaurant.

You returned to your new partners and finished your dinner. Slowly, your mood was elevated again but the natural ache of your heartbreak lingered.

“Spend the night with us,” Childe says sweetly after paying the check, “We can help you feel better.”

The feeling of both men on either side of you felt foreign but comforting. You nodded to Childe’s request and Zhongli led the three of you back to his apartment. The next few moments were a blur and when you came to, you were being laid on a soft bed. Childe slid next to you and your arm instinctively wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, while Zhongli hovered above you. His warm eyes gazed into yours and you decided you could get used to this.

This new love was unique and plentiful as long as the three of you were on the same page, that’s all that mattered.

a/n: sorry this took so long! as you can see, it came out v long lmfao. requests are still open <3

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin oneshot #genshin impact oneshot #genshin writing #genshin zhongli #genshin childe #zhongli x reader x childe #zhongli x childe #genshin x reader #genshin hu tao #zhongli #childe #hu tao #genshin x you

629 notes · View notes

barzzal · 4 years

Text

between halls and thin walls → part three

summary: friends who fool around almost never work. almost.

↳ pairing: mathew barzal x you

↳ warnings: fingering, fem and male receiving, mentions of pornography, sexual/suggestive themes, swearing, mat not knowing how to eat pussy, anddd too much sneaking around i’m hating myself for it

↳ genre: fluff, angst, smut, roommates au, best friend’s best friend, friends with benefits, 18+

↳ length: series; part one, part two, part three (8.6k), part four, part five, part six

↳ masterlist: the barn

↳ track: god is fair, sexy nasty, cinderella, planet god damn by mac miller

note: so sorry for the wait! have been a lot busier with uni :(( took weeks for me to finally sit down and write on my laptop to finish this aaaah anw here’s the update and i’m making it up to yall i hope you like!! happy reading babies <3

“Wait–” you break off, your fingers already weaving through his ever so gorgeous hair.

“What about Tito?” you fret.

You’re sure there was at least a hint of annoyance in his voice. Possibly irked that you had to ruin the one thing you both have been craving for for weeks.

“He won’t come home, trust me.” he says, lips already making its way back to touch your skin, nestling on your jawline, before trailing down to the intricate line of your neck, his movement hasty with a sense of hunger and urgency.

You didn’t mind. It felt good.

“Okay– no. Let’s stop this for a sec.” you try to snap out of it, pushing him away but just enough to keep him within arms reach. You rest both your hands on his broad shoulders whilst he rests his on your hips, just a few inches above your ass.

“We need to clear things out.” you start, eyes lingering on his irises, making you wet your lips at the sight.

“Didn’t we clear things out thrice now?” he quirks his brows, “And it kinda looks like we’re about to clear the same thing for the fourth time. What’s not clear about it?” Mat kids, half laughing as he lets you punch him playfully, “I’m not kidding, Barz.” you say, clearing your throat.

You didn’t mind for any of his double entendres but you did mind the fact that whatever’s about to happen tonight is bound to tip the scales of whatever it was that you were having with Mathew.

“Fine. Let’s talk,” he agrees. He walks towards the bed just as he began pulling his shirt off over his head to undress himself.

“Mathew!” you call him yet again, earning yourself a defensive shrug from him, “What? We’re gonna have sex either way might as well talk while we’re at it, right?” he counters, “Now, take your clothes off.”

Regardless of being annoyed at him for acting like an unreasonable child engaging in too much banter, you let out a laugh in disbelief, letting Mathew’s quirks have a hold on you. You roll your eyes out but do as you’re told and begin taking your shirt off which you then throw his way.

Mat whistles, a smirk sprouting off his lips, evidently in awe of how good you looked half-naked, “Wow.”

You cock up a smirk and shrug to play it off, “Well, you’re not so bad yourself.” you turn the compliment back which Mat only reciprocated with a taunting wink, brushing his shoulder briefly like an idiot.

“So. How do you want to play this?” you inquire.

“Naked, I hope.” he laughs, putting his sweats off revealing nothing but his boxers on. When he sees you roll your eyes, yet again, almost wondering if you’re going to bawl it out at any moment, Mat clears his throat and decides to dial down his terrible jokes.

“Fine. Let’s just say we’re doing ‘Friends with Benefits’ or, you know, what was that movie again?” he thinks for a second, snapping his fingers as he gathers a few romantic comedies he’s seen in the past. “No Strings Attached! The one with Natalie Portman! Yeah, that’s the one.” he marvels.

You look at him quite stunned that he’s familiar with these movies. “Wow. I thought you guys are just into full-on pornography and sports.”

“Hey!” he retorts, defending himself at once, “I’m speaking your language, dumbass. And for the record, I don’t like porn.” with that, you let out a loud laugh accompanied by a scoff, obviously not buying any of his lies. To which Mat jumps to defend himself the moment he sees the mocking look in your eyes, “What?? Not all men likes pornography, y/n.”

With both hands on your hips, you arch your brow at him and reply with a revolting grin, “First rule, no lying. I wasn’t born last night, Barzal.”

“Fine. I don’t like it like it.” he points out just as he averts your gaze, “But I’m certainly not against it. Those girls need to make a living, y/n.”

You meet his cocky remark with an exasperated sigh, “You’re such a pig.”

Mat answers with a shrug, letting your judgmental glares slide, “Call me names, I don’t care. You’re the one sleeping with a pig.”

And as if it had been expected all along, it didn’t take long for the both of you to end up in bed, wearing nothing but your skin, breathing in each other’s breaths, gasping as you let yourselves let loose with the company of a friend.

Mathew marvels at the sight of your heaving chest whilst his head was wedged in between your thighs, going on endless circles as he nibbles on your clit, perhaps trying a little too hard to make you meet your high.

What the fuck is he doing? is probably what every girl has asked herself when a man goes down on her thinking that he already got her all figured out.

Mathew knew what he was doing to be fair. He was there. For the most part. His fingers were nothing but magic but his mouth was a different subject. It was almost as if he was overachieving something. Kind of like the way he does during plays that would eventually cause them the game.

He’s in his head a little too much. That’s for sure. You didn’t want to ruin the moment so you decide to let it slide and put on your best suit. After all, it wasn’t the first time you had to fake your sexual orgasms. You weren’t entirely surprised though. Half of the men you’ve gone out with didn’t know shit about eating pussy. And Mat was pretty, at least he had that going on for him.

You bit your lower lip, trying to suppress the fact that you weren’t enjoying it. Mat was doing all sorts of things at once and it was all too much. Too much that you’d rather finish the job yourself than have someone licking your region like a fucking chew toy.

As much as you didn’t want to, you arch your back and let out a fake moan, curling your fingers on the sheets, the other tugging on Mat’s hair, staging the perfect scene Mat had wanted to see. He emerges from below and hovers on top of you with a proud grin on his face, oblivious of the dramatic pin you’ve successfully put into the night.

“And that, my friend,” he smirks, “is how you do it.”

Oh, believe me, it is not. You try to smile, “Hm. It’s that easy, huh?”

“Well, yeah. Think of it like a scrimmage.” he says as he starts to pepper kisses on your cheeks, his hands roaming around your body, compensating for what his mouth missed. “Or a shootout even.”

“I’m thinking no.” you deny, “Rule two, if talking hockey is your definition of dirty talk, you better zip it.” you stress out as you prop your leg around his waist in order for you to move on top of him.

Mat chuckles, trying to mask how much he longed to feel your mouth envelop his member. There hasn’t been a day where the image of you sucking his length didn’t enter his mind. It didn’t matter where he was. Whether he was in the shower, on the road with the boys, leaving for practice, or just tying his skates. He wanted nothing more than to look down at you as your little tears revolt to escape your doe eyes whilst you take him whole. Indeed, it was a sight for Mathew. And god knows how much he’s willing to give just to see it again.

You spit just as you kiss the tip of his shaft, stroking his length in a circular motion to spread your saliva on his cock before you proceed on pressing gentle kisses on his head; edging him for not letting you cum— unconsciously wanting him to know how to give a goddamn head the right way.

You patiently went your way as you began taking him in your mouth, inching down his thickness without breaking off of his dark and lustful gaze. Mat rests his head on the headboard, his breathing growing heavy and hoarse whilst he watches his dick be consumed by your hollowing cheeks, sucking the life out of him.

“Fuck. You’re so good.” he groans, pulling your hair with his free hand before guiding you further down his dick. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Flattered by his praises which you find undeniably hot, you pop him out of your mouth, letting all your spit drip onto it just before gathering it back once you start licking him underneath, sucking on his balls as your tongue goes on little circles, playing with it for a while before letting it go with a loud pop.

You watch Mat lose his mind with every movement you make but you know full well not to let him come in your mouth. It’s bad enough you didn’t get to come the first time he tried tonight. You won’t have yourself seeing the light of day high and dry while Mat gets to doze off the second you leave for his door.

You climb on top of him. Mat was rather quick to let his hands find its way to your hips, your pussy sitting on his flat stomach just enough to let him know how wet you still are for him in spite of not getting the fun you’ve wanted for your own.

“Where’s the rubber?” you ask him. Mat props himself quickly and carefully shifts towards his bedside table. You feel him on your back, poking on your skin whilst he pulls out one of the drawers. He fishes a wrapped condom straight from the box which he then swiftly opens with his teeth, motioning for you to get off of him first so he could get settled.

“Ready?” you ask him, “Ready.”

Mat rolls over and secures you in between his hands resting on both sides of your head. You feel his head poking against your abdomen as he finally takes his shaft to rub it in between you far too moistened slit just before he takes the plunge and dive deep.

“So,” you struggle to find the words as Mat finally starts making up for his loss a while ago. Your fingers envelop his nape, digging on his skin as you let himself adjust inside you. Stretching you whole with barely half his dick pushing through you. Thank god this was one of the many things Mat definitely did not suck at.

“Wanna walk me through this whole set up?”

Mathew groans, his chest hard against yours as he pumps inside you at a steady pace; one that was pleasurably slow. One that had you closing your eyes whilst you let your head sink into his pillows.

Despite working his way on tending to too many things at once, with his thumb brushing on one of your nipples, his lips attached to your earlobes, and his free hand secured on your hips, Mat whispers in your ear. “It’s like what we’ve agreed on that night.” he breathes heavily, his mind trailing off to that night momentarily before he speaks again, “We’re friends.”

“And?” you whine as you feel his wet lips brush briefly on your sensitive skin just enough to send chills up your spine, making you crave more of his touch; a grave wanting kindling inside your gut like fire.

“Friends…” he repeats in between kisses, “who likes to do this.” his lips travel from the corner of your lips and onto your jaw line. He then lets himself pull away just so he could look you in the eye, all whilst maintaining both your bodies moving in sync as you follow his lead.

“You do know that things like this almost never work, right?” you honestly say, telling him the very same thing you’ve told him when you first crossed the line and threw everything you’ve progressively built with him throughout the years of being Anthony’s best friends.

“Almost is good enough for me.” he counters with a husky voice, feeling constrained by how tight your pussy was around him. It had been a while and Mat was going insane just by thinking about how your cunt was made exactly for him. It was absurd for him to think such a thing but he would not deny the sensation coursing through his veins as if sex had become something entirely new to him. That you have miraculously been able to paint something far better than what he’s already gotten used to for who knows how long; luring him into the worst kind of addiction he could get himself into. And although Mathew wanted to hate himself that it had to happen with you, he knew he couldn’t.

“Let’s not have secrets,” he suggests. You raise both your brows, quite intrigued that he requested such a thing. “We’re not that close to have secrets, Barzal.” you remind him.

“Exactly!” he cheers, voice briefly rising as you let out a moan escape when he pushes himself deeper through your heated walls. Mat hurriedly locks your mouth with his, swallowing all your moans before continuing with his case.

“That’s the point. We’re not that close so we shouldn’t be keeping anything from each other. You tell me everything. Good or bad, and I’ll do the same.”

You shoot him a questioning look, pushing him briefly so you could position yourself on top of him. Your action was very much well-received on Mathew’s end and it’s amazing how he’s able to lift you close to his torso before the two of you roll over the switch-game without letting his dick slip out of you.

“Are you saying we’re going to be in a relationship? You’re way over your head, mister.” you laugh because it was exactly what it sounded. At least for you.

Mat rolls his eyes as he takes a pillow to support his back. His hands then roamed from your thighs before settling to cage your hips to lock it with his, “First of all, bold of you to assume that’s ever gonna happen.”

You scoff.

“Second, it’s more of a mutual agreement and definitely less than a relationship.” he points out to reiterate that having said ‘relationship’ with you was the last thing he wanted.

Your hands take rest atop his chest as you start working on rocking your hips at a gentle pace; the kind that had Mathew at a loss for words for a moment, his body taking over his mind as your physique towers all over him. Mathew meets you halfway while you do most of the work. He angles himself forward so as to reach for your tits, his mouth latching on one of your buds, thirsty like a newborn child. Your fingers find their way to his tousled hair, its disheveled state unbelievably making him much more difficult to resist.

The two of you worked each of your own highs whilst you rock each other’s bodies. Exchanging moans and groans thrown carelessly throughout the room. You were all over Mathew as much as he was with you. His strong and capable hands that moved so well on your body, made you crave for more. Mathew took control of the pace now, his arms embracing your waist closer to his body that no amount of spatial space could ever be perceived by either of you.

“Come for me.” Mat orders, voice almost inaudible as he was chasing his own, the moment he feels you throb rapidly around him, fluttering like butterflies while he watches you shut your eyes. Just like that, you finally reach the ecstasy you’ve been longing for the whole night; one that was specifically shut down by Mathew’s stale mouth.

You let Mat take over. He orders you to turn your back against him before he pulls you rapidly close to his front, your ass perked up close to his skin. His mouth leaves fashioned bites on your neck whilst he held you firmly by your forearm. Mathew begins pounding on you hard from behind, his sharp and abrupt movements painting bruises you know will show up the next morning.

You were all over the place and you didn’t care. It was messy, it was loud. The sound Mathew’s lips leave on your skin, his balls banging against your pussy, your moans— his groans. Everything was off the record book but neither of you wanted to stop.

With one final thrust, you feel his body grow all the more rigid behind you. Mathew’s hand was wrapped firmly around your neck whilst he caught his breath.

“You good back there, bud?” you ask, chuckling.

“Oh, shut up.” he says, finally letting you go.

The two of you gather yourselves. Mat discards the wrapper and offers to clean up after the mess he’d made but you profusely decline.

“I’m not your girlfriend. You don’t have to take care of me.” you tell him with a strong suit as you begin picking up your clothes.

“I know–” he cuts himself off when he sees you getting into your pants, “Where are you going?” he questions.

“Rule four. No staying the night.” you point out, grabbing your sweatshirt from the floor. “You come to my room, I come to yours, but that’s that. No more, no less.” you add.

Mathew looks stunned. Obviously on board with how well you were taking things so easily.

“Alright then, buddy.” he strides his way towards his bed still naked.

“We don’t speak about any of this in the morning.” you warn him for you know how the three of you tend to leave the house almost at the same exact time as each other. Meaning that this new setup of yours is bound to be much difficult if you let anything slip off your hold.

Mathew runs his fingers on his lips as if to zip it before he jumps on the bed, already reaching for his phone that was on his bedside table so he could check the gram.

You were just on your way out of his door when he called you one last time, a teasing smile creeping on his lips, “What’s rule five?”

“No funny business.” you say at once. You look at him one last time with your own teasing smile to mock him from across the room, “No strings attached.” you say, repeating how he used the movie as a reference from a while back before finally disappearing into the hall.

𖥸

Who would have known agreeing to such a set up would mean getting laid almost every chance you get?

It had been a few weeks since you and Mat committed to your foolish escapades after sorting out your mutual agreement. Said escapades involve a handful of times of you driving over to the Coli to pick him up right after his morning skate and get off the back of your car. It wasn’t that big of a deal being that Mathew usually rides with Anthony for work. Of course, there were also times where you would call him into your office just to grab a quick lunch. On those times you always make sure to leave out at least half an hour or so before going home to avoid unnecessary suspicions from Tito and you and Mathew have been mindful so as not to let him notice anything.

Mat had mentioned how he was already looking for a place nearer to yours and Tito’s but farther than his previous complex. The place was half an hour less than the travelling time Tito had to drive to from when they used to ride together going home. And now that you were officially friends and more than just acquaintances, Mat has asked you to come and see the place with him.

You took a lift on your way to Mat’s and let’s just say, that for a man with a whopping 21M at his disposal, the building was grand but it wasn’t as boujee as you’ve expected. It might’ve been your lack of a better judgement but Mathew just didn’t seem to be the kind of guy who would be smart when it comes to his finances. You’ve always thought that he was the kind to splurge on things whenever he gets the chance. Although much to your surprise, just like everyone else, he was a simple man.

You knock on the door a few times before you hear the familiar footsteps nearing the front door.

“Hey,” a signature grin welcomes you. He opens the door wider and invites you in. “Took you long enough.”

“Well, I had better things to do, Barzal.” you retort as you start to scan the vicinity.

The flat had floor to ceiling windows so the surroundings were well lit. You were making your way further when you noticed a few sealed boxes laying around what you assumed to be where the living space was going to be.

“I thought you were just looking?” you ask, brows furrowed in confusion whilst you look back at him, pointing on the storages with your thumb.

As expected, the entire apartment was painted in white and beige tones. Pretty much like every Islander’s home you’ve been to. It was quite spacious just like his former home. That being said, spacious doesn’t necessarily mean ‘good’ sometimes. For one thing, it didn’t feel home to you. It felt like a cage with huge-ass windows overlooking a scenery you can’t even lay your hand on. You keep your thoughts to yourself, not wanting to ruin Mat’s excitement for the place. Sure enough, it’ll all come together once he gets settled.

Mat walks towards you, taking a deep breath. “I was. But the offer was really good so I figured signing the lease right away would be a smart move.” he explains. When he sees your gaze trail off onto the boxes again, Mat feels the need to reassure you that he wasn’t going to move out of your apartment just yet.

“I won’t be moving in for another month or two, just to be clear. Those are just some stuff I didn’t want hogging all the space at home.” he says candidly pertaining to your apartment as his home, not even realizing the weight he had tied to his words.

You were quick to dismiss your own unsolicited thoughts and carried on with the semi-tour Mat was starting to indulge you with. “Are you sure you’re gonna live here alone? Feels like a whole penthouse up here.” you honestly say, half-laughing as you make way towards the hallway.

“Yeah. I mean, it would be great for when the team comes over.” he says as he follows your tracks. “The penthouse is actually two floors above mine though.”

You roll your eyes at his subtle remark, “Why’d you made me come here anyway?”

And as if Mat had remembered the task he originally had in mind, he walks right past you to lead the way. “I want your opinion on something.”

“Really? What is it?” you inquire, following after his footsteps. Mat stops and opens a door leading to what you assume is the master bedroom. Situated at the center of the fairly spacious room is a california king sized bed, waiting patiently to be slept on.

Mat looks back at you and says, “D’you think it’s any good?”

He lets you roam around the place, setting yourself down on the foot of the bed. “Bed’s nice actually.” you tell him and you stand at once to look more of his semi-furnished room.

“How nice is it exactly? Like, nice to sleep on or nice to not get any at all?” you turn around, rolling your eyes at his sleazy innuendos. “You’re such a tool. You really made me come all the way here to get me tied down this bed?”

Mat only answers with a shrug. An adorable one to be exact. “What? That’s what friends are for, y/n. Now, come on. Test the bed with me.” he says, taking your hand at once before you could even answer. He lets himself fall onto the bed as he caught your weight in his arms, your bodies dangerously close to each other, feeling your own body temperatures.

His hands roam around your clothed physique just as he starts to cage you in a well heated kiss. Your lips dance with his, letting his tongue slip whenever he gets the chance, nibbling on your tongue as the two of you enjoy exchanging your own take on what house warming gifts are supposed to look like.

Mat’s hands were already gripping on the curve of your ass when the sound of your and Mathew’s kisses were stopped by a sudden knock on the door. Your hand immediately trailed down from Mat’s nape to his chest, “Are you expecting someone?”, he thinks for a second, both of his hands still secured on your bottoms.

“Oh!” he gasps upon remembering who could it possibly be, “It’s probably my realtor. He’s picking some stuff up, I’ll go get it.” he says, propping himself up as a cue for you to get off of him.

“Would you mind getting the door? I’ll be quick, I promise.” he adds, looking back at you as he steps out of the room, heading for the other side of the hallway. He speaks in an apologetic tone, feeling sorry for having to cut off the purpose of your visit. So, in an effort to let him know he had nothing to worry about, you shake your head as you finish straightening the wrinkles off your work clothes.

“No, it’s all right, I got it.” you give him a reassuring smile.

You gladly make your way towards the door, not even bothering to look through the hole. You hand enveloped the cold metal, swinging the door wide open, leaving yourself not a chance at escape as soon as your eyes landed on those all too familiar big blue ones you’ve known all your life.

“Y/N?” a puzzled expression was all you could make out of Tito’s face. You tried stumbling for a few words in the hopes of calming your already racing heart impending to escape your chest at any moment.

“What are you doing here?” he asks in utmost bewilderment. You were still in shock being that you’ve never lied to Anthony before since he’s the only one you’ve told everything to most of the time. Having him here, clearly unexpected, has evidently thrown you off guard.

You maintain your gaze at him and throw the same question back, “What are you doing here?”

“Mat and I are going out with Mikey and Noah for drinks.” he answers quickly so he could throw the ball your way, “You didn’t answer me. I didn’t know you knew about this place already?” he furrows his brows, looking over your shoulder to get a glimpse of his best mate.

“Uhm. Mat called me to discuss a few things. Showed me some stuff too.” you nervously say, tip toeing on the fact that what you just told him wasn’t entirely a lie. You open the door all the way and finally let him in. Your knuckles were wrapped hard around the cold metal knob, wishing that Mat would come out to the room to save your ass.

You must have gotten on a wrong foot and told Tito a lie that’s bound to invite more suspecting queries.

“Really? What stuff?”

His bed, where he was just about to defile me on.

Thankfully, Mat walks out the open room holding an envelope in his hand, immediately halting his tracks the moment he sees Anthony looking straight at him.

“Beau! What–” he tries to remain composed, but you know Tito would definitely pick up on something just by how pale Mat’s face was. Dead and cold like someone who had seen a ghost for the first time.

“What— am I doing here?” Anthony finishes Mat’s question just as he turns his gaze back at you. You try to avert his gaze but you figured it’s best not to. You need to go before him strong and level headed. The last thing you and Mathew want is to get caught in the act by no other than the last person you want to know about it.

“What?” He laughs, brushing Tito’s biting tone off. “I know why you’re here, silly.” he tries to search in his head momentarily, but when he takes long enough, Tito answers it for him. “Drinks, man. You texted me for drinks.”

“Oh– yeah, no. I knew that.” he breathes out an uneasy laugh.

“Why is Y/N here? I didn’t know you guys hung out? The last time I checked you can’t even last in the same room without slashing each other’s throats.” he smirks.

Surprisingly, Mat was fast enough to come up with quite a clever way to sway Anthony from his inkling suspicions. One that made sense, but not necessarily helpful in your end. “Psh. That?” Mat throws a hand towards your way, dismissing your presence in his unfurnished apartment, “She told me she needs money so I hired her to move my boxes for me. She even insisted on listing all the stuff I’ll eventually get rid of online.”

Anthony looks back at you, surprised that you didn’t go and asked for his help instead. “How much do you pay her?” he asks Mat again.

“Uh, five… ten bucks?” Mat scratches the back of his head and your face immediately falls to your palm.

“Ten?” he questions, glancing at you. “Don’t you have your own office and a secretary? What do you need the ten bucks for?” Tito’s tone was now getting more curious and Mat, just like he always was, was dumb enough to forget you were earning more than just ten bucks for a living.

“Did I say ten? I meant fifty— per hour.” Mathew takes it back instantly, following it with a lie that involves you asking him for a job because your publisher ordered you to for a book she wants you to sign for. Not that any of it made sense but at least Anthony seemed to have bought it. When you agree, Mat immediately takes Anthony in his arms as he guides him out to the door, snatching his coat resting atop his kitchen island.

Mat looks over to you once more, both of their bodies already at the other side of the door, “You did great today, y/n. I’ll write you a check in the morning!” he says pushing Tito, who was still asking questions, farther from the door.

Before Mathew disappears, he looks at you with his big doe eyes already thanking you for going along such a stupid make-up excuse. You roll your eyes as you watch him mouth a quiet ‘Sorry’, flashing his ever so gorgeous smile before him and Tito finally went on their way.

𖥸

You’ve gotten used to how lazy Mat and Tito are during their off days. They would rather stay at home and play endless video games with each other than spending it with something less dumb than their stupid Xbox. Luckily, today wasn’t like those days because you happened to have your free day as well. You all agreed to spend the evening binging the entire Fast and Furious franchise.

The three of you were cramped on the cloud couch. To put it in simply, you were sandwiched between two huge hockey players. Your back was leaning on Tito’s strong shoulders as it was laying just above your head. The huge bowl of half-eaten popcorn safely sits in between your middle, hugged by your stomach and your curled up legs, your sock-covered feet brushing against Mat’s thighs innocently. Almost as innocent as how you ignore Mathew’s hands creeping underneath the thick wool covering your body.

Alarmed at how dangerously close Mat’s creeping palm was to your inner thigh, you shot him a warning look which was, as expected, answered by a defensive, and seemingly harmless “What?” look on his face. You roll your eyes, cautious as to not make any sharp movements for the benefit of Tito. You shift your position, angling your body away from Mathew and towards the direction of the screen instead. You let your body sink in your best friend’s shoulder, clueless that your movement had just given Mat the exact opening he was hoping for.

With wide eyes, you give Mat’s thigh a firm nudge as carefully as you can, “Are you being serious right now?” you mouthed. Mat stifles a smirk and moves his hand away, keeping it to himself. You try turning your attention back to the television but somehow, Mathew’s actions left your mind wondering what he was about to do next.

Gently, you stir back to your original position, propping yourself from leaning against Tito.

“Hey, could you please fill this up for me?” you ask him nicely. Thankfully, Anthony reaches out for the bowl without letting his eyes break off the screen. “Thanks, Beau.” you add the moment he starts walking towards the kitchen.

“Why’d you stop?” you cautiously whisper, asking Mathew who was surprised by your sudden inquiry.

“I thought you didn’t want me to.” he answers on the same level of your tone, putting his hand back on your shin. The warmth of his palm sends a familiar sensation down your region.

Looking back at the archway leading to the kitchen, you quietly tell him, “I asked if you’re being serious. I never said no.”

Your candidness was met by Mathew’s widening smile, incapable of stopping himself from biting his lower lip, finding your bluntness quite adorable. “Be quiet.” he mutters as he clears his throat, eyeing Tito who was just returning from the kitchen holding a bowl full of popcorn fresh from the microwave.

“Thank you.” you say the moment Anthony hands you the bowl. You scootch over, making you a lot closer to Mat. Tito places his arm back over the couch, allowing extra space for you. Once you got yourself in a position comfortable enough to last for the remaining half of the movie, your mind flies away, briefly forgetting the exchange you and Mathew just had.

It was not even a full minute when you feel Mat’s very much capable hand start creeping underneath the thick cloth again. You swallow a giant lump in your throat, your senses already heightened just by the mere contact of his rough and calloused hand on your skin.

You were wearing a pair of sweat shorts, the kind that were loose enough to let Mat maneuver his way deeper down your thighs so effortlessly. You steal quick glances towards his way but to no avail, Mat’s eyes were nowhere else other than the screen. His fingers, however, told quite a different story.

You did the exact thing as him and put your sole focus on the movie. The sound of Anthony’s breathing was a good reminder to not let anything slip off of you unconsciously, especially now that Mat’s long fingers were inching its way to the thin fabric covered by your night wear.

Mat begins to brush his middle finger over your delicates. You bury a part of your face underneath the thick cloth whilst your eyes are still pinned on the screen. The scene where Dom goes rogue plays and the light of the television flashes before your eyes.

You tried to listen to Tito when he tells you about that time you went to the movies to see the film, trying to space out from Mat’s finger drawing idle circles on the thin fabric of your underwear, easing you just right, evidently taking his time fondling in between your clothed lips.

When he feels your moistness on his skin, Mat sophisticatedly slides a finger in your underwear just so he could feel the wetness of your folds.

You on the one hand, keep your face hidden under the only light flashing from the screen. You manage to choke down your whimpers and instead lean your force towards the bowl you’re holding. However, you fail to stifle a gasp when Mat slides a finger inside you, making you stir just enough to stop your sudden movement from being unnoticed by Beauvillier.

“You okay?” he asks, a concerned tone embracing his voice. You meekly nod, saying that you were just too caught up watching the film. He then takes his attention back, pretty much like the grinning Mathew sitting on the other end.

You shoot a knowing look when you meet Mat’s irises. He casually plays it off just as he remains busy on his own, his fingers curling inside you with ease, pumping in and out at a slow pace, not wanting to let any of his movements show on the surface of your blanket. As Mat continues pleasuring you, you gather all your strength to stay still and calm your breathing. To no prevail however, knowing how good of a fucker Mat was, you knew you won’t be able to hold it in longer than you’re supposed to.

Your heart almost beats right out your chest when Anthony’s phone starts to ring. You prop yourself up, causing Mat’s finger to do just the same inside you. You shut your eyes at the feeling and chose to clear your throat.

Anthony takes his phone and looks at the two of you, “I need to take this. Just watch the movie without me.” he says, already standing to head for the balcony at the other side of the room. You sigh in relief, letting yourself fall back on where Tito used to sit, allowing more space for Mat’s miraculous fingers.

He adjusts his seat, cautiously looking back after Tito’s track just to make sure he was no longer near the two of you. He looks at you, attention faltering from the screen as he slides another finger inside you.

“Don’t make a sound. Stay still.” he orders, pumping his way in just as he glides his thumb to massage your clit. Your hand takes rest on your forehead, your eyes closed at every pleasure thrown your way, almost forgetting that you were holding a bowl full of finger food on your stomach. Mat must’ve caught on and ensured no unnecessary noises would make Anthony come back just yet when he takes the bowl off your middle to set it down the coffee table.

“Fucking hell, Mat.” you can’t help but moan, arching your back once you feel your arousal come close.

“Do it, y/n. Come on my fingers.” he growls in a low register, moving his way into hitting the spot at just the right speed, not wanting to prolong your misery any longer.

You reach for his hands, your grip on him tighter than ever. Mat feels you come around his finger, eyes pinned on your spent up state harder than it was when the two of you were still watching the movie. When he feels your pulsating core starts to die down, he slips his fingers out your slit, eventually taking it in his mouth to suck your far too addicting juices.

You fix yourself up, eyeing Tito who had just ended his call. Mat looks at you, quite proud of himself.

“At least your fingers make up for what that pretty mouth can’t.” you say with a taunting smirk before standing up to get yourself a glass of water just as Beau finally comes back from the balcony, leaving Mathew with his mouth slightly agape and without a doubt dumbfounded.

𖥸

It was an hour before midnight but the house was already asleep. The boys had to call the night early because of the morning practice they have first thing tomorrow. But you still had some energy left so you figured drawing yourself a calming bath would help soothe your mind and maybe even up the chances of having yourself a well-deserved good night’s sleep.

Now that you’re feeling better and getting ready for bed, your bathrobe hugs your body whilst you finish off your night routine so you could finally dip into the comfort of your sheets, the cream white duvet calling onto you as you picture yourself dozing off for the night.

The strides you were just making out of your bathroom were put into a stop by how your door sprung open wildly, revealing one troubled Mathew Barzal entering your room almost a little too carelessly.

“What the hell did you mean my mouth can’t?!” he questions at once, hissing. When he realizes the sudden rise in his voice, (which has also startled you in the process), Mathew immediately looks back just to make sure that Anthony was in his room, or far enough to hear. He shuts the door behind him before he finally turns his attention back to you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you ask him, putting both your hands on your hips, your body covered by nothing else but a bathrobe.

“The thing you said back in the living room, my mouth can’t what? What the hell did that suppose to mean??” Mat roars like a child’s impending tantrum was about to come. You avert his gaze for a moment, scratching your temple. You couldn’t believe something you’ve said stuck to him. Not that he’d ever do anything about it. Something you most absolutely doubt.

“If you had to come here to ask me that, I’m pretty sure you already got what I meant.” you say, walking towards your bed as you get the bottle of your vanilla scented lotion from your bedside table.

“But all those times it looked like you were having a good time?” he speaks, voice in a lower register as if he was talking to himself all along.

“I was faking it Mat.” you finish off applying lotion on your legs, spreading the remaining on your hands. You met Mat’s gaze and saw that you might’ve tipped him off a little for there was a faint hurt in his eyes.

“You were faking it?” he repeats in a quiet voice.

“You’re still good in bed, buddy.” you assure him with a smile yet to no prevail, Mat didn’t seem to buy any of what you said thinking that it was just a decent effort to save his ego already plummeting to the pit of his own embarrassment.

“How many times have you been faking it?” he asks the moment he gathers his thoughts, his mind circling on the fact that all throughout this time he wasn’t able to get you off.

“You’ve only had the chance to do it twice. So… just those two.” you answer honestly.

Mathew, who was utterly clueless to what was going on didn’t know how to react to such bluntness. He tried to mutter a few words but he was speechless. All this time, he thought he was good at something he obviously wasn’t. And being told something as morally immobilizing as that shocks him to his very core. The horror of all the girls he’s slept with, walking out of his apartment unsatisfied befalls on him.

“You should’ve told me, otherwise this whole setup won’t make any sense, y/n. I thought you said we shouldn’t lie?” he questions, evidently disappointed in himself.

“Look,” you stop, tapping on the side of the bed to have a proper conversation. When Mat finally sits beside you, you continue, “I didn’t think it mattered. And no offense but we both know you’re such a sore loser. I didn’t know how you would react. And I definitely didn’t want to deal with any of the messy stuff just to feed your ego.”

“For your information, I’m a thick faced motherfucker, you should’ve known that by now. This thing between us is going to be complicated if you’ll tiptoe your way around it just to spare my feelings.” he says with certainty, a definitive tone accentuated by how intense he was now looking at your face, still glowing from your night care routine.

“Is there something I don’t do?” he adds, “Or is it something that I should stop doing?”

“Fine. If you really wanna talk about this I’ll tell you.” you angle yourself facing him and Mat does the same, “You’re not entirely bad. You do know your way around. It’s just that— you’re trying a little too hard and it gets really overwhelming at times. And mind you, it isn’t even the good kind,”

“Show me.” Mat cuts you before you could grab the chance to continue, stopping you mid sentence, causing you to stumble on a few words. “What?”

“I won’t leave this room knowing I can’t get you off.” he says, and just like that, Mathew meets your lips with an all too hungry mouth eager to make you come for him even if it takes having to have endless runs at it.

Your body achingly responds to every bit of Mathew’s kisses whilst you let him run the course. His touches are tantalizing, urging you to come near him. He takes you in his arms, one fondling on your robe to pull it free from your body, the other tugging lightly on your hair just as he begins to move his weight on top of you.

“Tell me what you want.” Mat breathes the moment he breaks away, his mouth now travelling down the skin where your shoulder meets your neck, leaving faint bites, nibbling on it just before he makes his way down to fondle on your breasts.

You answer him with a muffled moan when he takes your lips yet again. Mat’s irises unwaveringly gazes on your buck nakedness, your scent just enough to take over his senses. You feel the roughness of his hands graze all over your skin. Pinching on one of your buds just before it travels down your thighs, staying out of the place where he knew you needed him most. You feel him in every inch of your skin but there.

But just as you want him more, Mat purposely leaves it out of his hold. You begin to realize how much you must’ve underestimated what this forward could do. His hands were everything and you couldn’t even put into words how much you need him down there.

“Mat…” you call out his name, groaning. His featherlight touches flowed smoothly on your inner thigh, grazing just your lips but even that was more than enough to tell him how wet you already were for him.

He begins to leave wet kisses in between your breasts down to your stomach. Kisses that eventually made their way to your thighs as he inched his way to your core, the sloppy noise he makes sounds so beautiful in your ears. You look down on Mat trying to compose yourself under all the breathing he’s subtly passing your middle.

“What do you want?” Mat asks again, this time his doe eyes meeting yours, clouded with lust and desire. You buck your hips upward in an effort to meet his mouth but Mat was rather quick to put you back in your place when he cages your hips with his capable arm.

“Use your words, y/n.” he orders, one that has effortlessly made you oblige. You wanted to feel him more than anything else and if that meant submitting to Mat this time, you know full well you’d gladly break before him.

“I want you to get me off.” you surrender, signaling him to take the plunge. Once he did, you let out a whimper at his touch, almost forgetting that Mathew was probably doing this so he could eat out his future girl right.

“Don’t rush.” you breathed as you guided him, “Stay slow and steady.”

Mathew’s eyes never left yours even when you had to look away when you let your head fall back on your sheets with how well he was moving with everything you say.

“Mathew…” you moan, reaching for his hair to take him closer to your throbbing core, “Go on circles, please.”

Mat was obedient and followed your every command. Unlike the times he’s spent trying to pleasure you with his mouth, tonight was a time where he actually listened and gave you exactly what you wanted, exactly how you want it.

Mat didn’t have to do anything else for when he started to slip into your cunt and fuck you with his tongue, you going insane was more than enough to let him know that he was doing it right. He watched you fall before him, your chest heaving, your breathing rapid as if there wasn’t enough air for you to breathe. He entwines both his fingers atop your abdomen, the sound of you calling his name like a prayer doing all kinds of wonders on his end.

You meet his eyes yet again just to see that it never left. Mat looked at you darker than ever before and for once, you feel a firm tug in your stomach you just weren’t ready to acknowledge and care for. As he takes time with his final strokes, knowing that you were close, Mat pulls away, thinking about the one thing he knows will redeem himself.

“Turn around.” he orders with a grim voice. You were in dire need of an orgasm to even care about how he’s the one ordering you. You gladly oblige to his every whim and turned to your belly, your ass perked up so perfectly for him.

He lets your robe fall just above your back, revealing more of your skin for him to enjoy. He takes no second to waste and kneels before your already swollen pussy. Needy and very much heated for him.

Mat’s hands spread your cheeks before he takes you in his mouth once again, letting himself drown in your juices glinting under his all too heavy gaze.

“Oh, god.” you whine, feeling Mat’s grin behind you as you dig into your sheets while your legs begin to shake at your incoming orgasm. “Mat, please.” you call out in a whimper, pushing your ass back further his face.

Mat gladly takes the challenge but maintains at the pace you wanted. As he feels your pussy flutter in his mouth, he deepens it into yours to finally pour you with nothing else but ecstasy and ecstasy alone.

His face was filled with nothing but your juices once he pulled away, leaving you breathless and still caught up on meeting your high. He stands, a hand gripping on one of your cheeks whilst he admires the art that is: your all too spent pussy.

“Next time you lie, you won’t get to fake it at all.” he warns with a firm yet definitive voice masked as a taunting remark.

Mat looks at your still throbbing pussy, eyes lustful and dark. As much as he craved for the inkling fire resting in his loins, it was already past midnight and he had self-discipline stronger than anyone else’s. He couldn’t afford any more scolding from Anders the next morning.

So, even when he wanted nothing but to fuck you right then and there, he lets his hand send a message he certainly wants you to remember instead. One that has left a faint yet stinging mark on your skin. Your legs were practically still wobbling when he finally leaves for the door, this time fueled with the purpose of being the one leaving you dumbfounded in your own post-orgasm shame.

Perhaps, even wanting and more.

#mat barzal #mat barzal imagine #mat barzal fanfiction #mat barzal fic #mat barzal smut #nhl smut #hockey imagine #nhl imagine #hockey smut #letters to barzy #barzzal imagines

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stonefreeak · 3 years

Text

My goodness people, I’m so sorry for the delay! I’ve been working on the structuring of my files to get a better overview of what remains of the project, to hopefully be able to speed writing up (even as work really means that my free-time is much more limited than it was once upon a time, lmao. Sometimes I miss December of 2016 when this whole thing started, 33k in a month of updates, amirite?)

it’s taken me so long I’m wondering if anyone even remember this plot point at this point, lmao

Also: belated happy midsummers to all my fellow Swedes!

Bail taps his finger against this desk and stairs unseeingly at the datapad in front of him.

He hadn't been sure if the information Aleena Yashi gave him, though she's worked as an assistant to multiple senators over the years, was true. But everything checks out. He briefly wondered why she would come to him about it, rather than Senator Lobos who she's currently working for... But perhaps it's because he's known to have a favourable view of the Jedi that she's done so. Perhaps it's because all of this information mostly pertains to the Jedi and the laws surrounding them, and she wanted a prominent Senator who she could trust not to hide the information away because they don't care for the Jedi.

Bail, a Core World Senator well known for his good relationship with the Jedi and friendship with the current Supreme Chancellor, must have seemed like the best option for her. He wonders who else would have been on her list, before she settled on him, but he chose not to ask when she visited him. Perhaps it's better if he doesn't know; it hardly matters now anyway.

He looks down at the datapad again and considers his options.

He should probably discuss her findings with her, and see what exactly her goal is. If he's to do something about this, then he wants her involved even as he gathers support from other senators.

He has no doubt that Padmé will agree to add her support to Bail to help sort this mess out, but considering that they've both been involved with the investigation they're conducting into Jedi missions being altered... Well, Bail wants more Senators involved this time. Just to ensure that it cannot be taken as some form of conspiracy in favour of the Jedi. As ridiculous as that notion seems, Bail is not blind to the way many Senators look at the Jedi, nor to the fact that many of them don't seem to believe that they're really capable of what they say they are.

Few people besides the Jedi truly believe in the Force, after all.

Few people could believe in something they cannot know for themselves when others supposedly have a direct connection to it. Bail is one of the few who does believe them, he's seen what the Jedi can do first-hand. There's nothing else that can account for that kind of power besides this Force they talk of. They and other groups out there, it’s not only the Jedi, after all.

Besides, he knows many of them personally, and while Bail may not understand or follow all of their beliefs or traditions, he also knows that they're not a bunch of charlatans faking it for power of money—though he knows some of his fellow senators believe that to be the case. Even senators on Coruscant, who've seen Jedi in real life, seem to believe them little more than myth.

Bail has been kept up to date on the investigation into the Jedi missions, though he’s not taking an active role in it right now, and he’s certain that he has been kept in the loop to give legitimacy to the investigation. Give it a proper paper trail, even if it’s done with the Senate’s highest level of security. A strictly need-to-know basis, and until it’s finished, no one else needs to know.

Of course, Bail asked Obi-Wan in private if he would be allowed to tell Breha. As his Queen and the leader of Bail’s planet, he found it important to clue her in on it. Besides, it’s another step of legitimacy. After all, if Breha takes an active stance on it, then so does Alderaan.

If anyone wants to accuse the investigation at a later date for being a sham… Well, they will need to accuse Alderaan of engaging in it in the first place. Bail isn’t stupid enough to think that it’s not one of the primary reasons Obi-Wan agreed with Bail’s request.

They’re friends, and Obi-Wan likes Breha, but this is not about being friends. This is about political allyship and keeping sensitive information on as tight a lock-down as they can until the time to reveal it comes.

Besides, as worried as Bail has become with Miss Yashi’s information, it’s even worse when considered together with the altered Jedi missions and not in the least… Well, the war time propaganda. There's no point in shying away from what it is, and the ramifications it has.

Considering how most of the war time propaganda—Bail can acknowledge it for what it is, there truly is no point in trying to deny the facts—focuses almost exclusively on the clones and their efforts in the war, it's hardly strange that the general population neither know nor understand them.

Further considering the information that Bail has now confirmed to be real and accurate... He understands that the omission of the Jedi is entirely deliberate. If you want to discredit and undermine the Jedi, why would you ever speak of their accomplishments and sacrifices? You wouldn't, as that would bring public support to them.

Bail sighs and rolls his shoulders.

He needs to build a following, he cannot properly push this alone. But he also understands why Miss Yashi brought it to him alone, first. A Core World Senator is far harder to make "disappear" than a Twi'lek Senatorial aide, no matter how awful that is to say. Bail can't go missing, and any attempt on his life would have a bit more trouble hitting its mark.

That's not to say that it would be impossible for someone to assassinate him, which is of course why he'll make sure that Breha is entirely up to speed on everything.

All of it together... There is some form of conspiracy to discredit or perhaps even get rid of the Jedi; Bail is sure of it. But he cannot see to what end. What are they trying to achieve?

For what reason would anyone work to discredit the Jedi? What is the end goal to strive for? There’s no way for the politicians to dissolve the Jedi Order, they are not in that way under Senate control. They could, of course, remove all of their backing, forcing the Jedi to become free agents, certainly…

But for what purpose? It would leave the Republic without the Jedi as peacekeepers, for the Jedi would hardly remain to do diplomacy work for the Senate without its backing. After all, what would the point be? Without the Senate’s backing, the Jedi would have far less ability to do anything.

How could they negotiate treaties if the Senate won’t honour them?

They could, perhaps, be a neutral third party within discussions. But there’s no reason for anyone to listen to their input in such a case. It’s hard enough to get disagreeing parties to listen to external input when you come with powerful backing that could make you listen even if you refuse.

How could they function with no funding? They would need to work on commission, at which point only those who can afford their help can get it. That would be the opposite of an improvement.

To not even begin to talk about how few of them there are, how few of them there were even before the war. Their population is not even a hundredth of a percent of Alderaan’s population, and Alderaan is only a single planet within the tens of thousands of star systems that make up the Republic—nevermind the entire galaxy. There’s just not enough of them, and hasn’t that always been a problem even while they’re working under the Republic? Too few, spread too thin.

No, if the Jedi became free agents, their ability to affect change would be greatly diminished. Bail is quite certain they’d work on much smaller scales, still trying to do what they can for the galaxy, bit by bit. Working with smaller communities on planets and moons… If they even had the ability to find out about disputes that may need their help in the first place.

Losing the Jedi as peacekeepers isn’t a win for the Republic either, as the budget for the Jedi was already miniscule even before it started being diminished—as Miss Yashi’s discovery shows. It cannot be an attempt at cost saving, or an idea of improvement for the Republic. Needing to train their own diplomats and ensure that they have skilled enough guards… That would be more expensive and it would not be able to guarantee that these diplomats are neutral in conflicts.

The Jedi have no specific allegiances the way diplomats and even Senators have. Even the least corrupt Senator will still place their own planet and star system first. It is part of their role, after all.

So no, it cannot be something like that. Not unless the people slowly enacting this are horribly misguided and foolish. Not to mention, Bail knows most Senators would simply call for making away with the Jedi entirely, rather than this slow plan to undercut them.

No… There must be something else going on here, some other primary goal whoever is pulling these strings is looking out to do.

He’ll need to figure it out, no doubt, Bail concludes.

But beyond that, he also needs to build a base to help him bring this information he’s been given to the Senate’s attention. He is quite sure already who he should be looking towards first: Senator Ach’ki Mandai of Haa’ndu.

Who better to help him bring this to Senate attention than the Senator who ensured a Jedi now sits as the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic?

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

#Supreme Chancellor Obi Wan Kenobi #star wars #bail organa #update #my writing

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daenqyu · 4 years

Text

heather | kaminari denki

— gif isn’t mine !! credits go to @misakachan

pairing: kaminari x fem!reader | platonic!kirishima x fem!reader

genre: LOTS of angst, some comfort(?)

summary: kaminari had been oblivious to your feelings for years now, and at first it was okay, you didn’t mind hiding them. until you noticed the way he looked at her and suddenly, it wasn’t okay anymore.

warnings: swearing

word count: 5.6k

a/n: this is my first time writing and posting for a bnha character so i really hope you guys like it <3 i usually don’t write angst, but i couldn’t stop thinking about this and decided to write it down and i’m very happy with how it turned out.

« i still remember third of december

me in your sweater, you said it looked better

on me, than it did you, only if you knew

how much i liked you »

YOUR whole body trembled thanks to the coldness surrounding you, the snow decorating the floor and trees being a clear sign that winter had already begun in japan. you hugged your arms in a poor attempt to provide yourself some kind of heath, only to be met with the feeling of your cold hands. out of all the days you could’ve forgotten your jacket, it had to be on one of the coldest days of december. profanities fell from your lips as you tried your best to endure the pain until the bus came, but you were sure you would pass out by then. or maybe you were exaggerating.

the bus stop wasn’t that far away from your house, maybe if you ran you could get your jacket and get back on time to catch the bus. you checked your phone to see the time, a groan leaving your lips as you realized that was going to be practically impossible. if you left now, by the time you came back the bus would be long gone. dammit, why do i have to forget everything?

“well well, look who we have here.” your ears perked up as soon as you heard the male’s voice, a small smile making its way to your lips.

kaminari made his way over to you, both hands on his pockets as he returned the smile, making the butterflies in your stomach go crazy. the smile didn't falter until he took note of your current state. his eyes widened with concern and his hands worked fast to take his jacket off.

“denki, what are you doing?” confusion was evident on your face, but that didn’t stop the blonde from wrapping you up in the warm material.

you blushed from the sudden proximity, his face just inches away as he finished zipping up the piece of clothing. it didn’t take long before his cologne filled your nostrils and you basked in the comfort it gave you; it smelled like home. kaminari’s smile returned to his face when he saw your body visibly relax at the newfound heath, even though goosebumps began to form on his skin by the sudden change of temperature. he could handle being cold for a few hours.

“there, now you won’t die of hypothermia.”

“but what about you?”

he shrugged, tilting his head to the side before answering, “it’s fine, it looks better on you anyways.”

you knew he probably meant it in a friendly way, but you couldn’t help the way your heart skipped a beat at the compliment. suddenly you felt all warm inside, and it wasn’t because of the jacket. but rather the effect your best friend had on you.

right.

the smile slowly disappeared from your face, replaced with a hurt expression instead.

that’s all we are.

realization dawned upon you quickly and you scolded yourself for almost believing something so irrational and overall stupid. but as he nudged your arm with his elbow and started talking to you about a new video game that had come out that exact same day, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he did so, you allowed yourself to hold on to that fantasy a little longer. after all, dreaming didn’t hurt anyone right?

and so, you spent the whole ride to school envisioning an universe in which kaminari returned your feelings for him. an universe in which he loved you just as much as you loved him and you didn’t have to worry about anything, because at least you had him. an universe in which you didn’t have to overthink every little thing he did, wondering whether or not he actually meant it or if he was being his usual flirty self. an universe in which you were able to call him yours.

when school ended and you found yourself at the bus station once again, with kaminari next to you, you began to take off the jacket, having it worn all day and deciding it was time to give it back. but kaminari’s hands stopped you, hovering on top of yours, before you could finish unzipping it. you looked at him questioningly, trying your best to ignore the erratic beating of your heart and the electricity you felt right where your hands were touching.

“you can keep it.” his words confused you even more.

“what? no. it’s your jacket, you’ll get cold and besides it’s-”

“oh please don’t act like you don’t love wearing my clothes.” his tone was teasing, yet knowingly eyes scanned your face and you looked away, a hint of blush across your cheeks.

“whatever, but don’t expect to get it back.” kaminari laughed, his hands leaving your own and you had to hold back from taking it and interlacing your fingers together.

as you parted ways, walking in opposite directions to head back to your houses after a long day at school, you hugged yourself for the second time that day. this time, actually being able to feel warm. both inside and out.

—

« but I watch your eyes

as she walks by

what a sight for sore eyes

brighter than the blue sky

she’s got you mesmerized

while I die »

YOU and kaminari told each other everything, well at least most things. so it didn’t surprise you when he started rambling about yet another girl. don’t get me wrong, you loved him to death, but you had to admit that the boy could be quite unlucky with the ladies, much to own your luck that is. but this time was different and you both knew it. you noticed it in the way he smiled whenever he talked about her, how he was able to light up from just hearing her name, and most importantly, the way he looked at her. and you immediately knew. because it was the same way you looked at him.

she was your classmate and friend, and you could totally understand why kaminari was so smitten with her. she was funny, smart, caring, beautiful; in other words everything you weren’t. and while it’s true you knew it was bad to be envious of people, specially your friends, you simply couldn’t not wish to be her. i mean come on, not only did she have an awesome quirk you had no chance of competing against, she also had the boy you loved wrapped around her finger and she wasn’t even aware of it.

“and then when he was about to- denki, are you even listening?” he wasn’t, but you didn’t want to admit that.

“hm? oh sorry! what were you saying?” his pretty amber eyes looked at you for only a split second, before going back to admire the dark purpled haired girl.

jirou stood a few feet away from you guys, talking and laughing with sero and mina. you could feel your heart slowly breaking as you saw kaminari’s lips curl into a small smile when she briefly looked at him, waving at him in the process. and of course you didn’t miss the way she blushed.

“ah it’s nothing important anyways.”

“hey y/n, do you think i should ask jirou out?”

oh.

you were pretty certain you stopped breathing once your brain registered his words. how could he be so oblivious?! you had been friends since fucking middle school and you were supposed to believe that he never once noticed how hopelessly in love you were with him? did you not show it enough? were you that bad at displaying your love for people? or was he just ridiculously dumb? you desperately hoped it was the latter, because deep down a part of you still believed that there was a possibility for you two. that an us could be possible if you just showed him how serious you were about him.

but the rational part of you was screaming at you to stop being so damn stupid, to finally open your eyes and realize kaminari didn’t and would never reciprocate your feelings. that you were hoping for the impossible to happen, that you were preparing yourself for absolute heartbreak if you thought for a second he would choose you over her. and while you wanted nothing more than to yell at him for being so dense, for not seeing that you were right there, you simply couldn’t. so you went with the safer option.

“y-yeah, you should. i’m sure she’ll say yes.” you were able to muster a smile, and despite the lump in your throat, you feel happiness surge through you as he turns around and gives you a big smile.

“you think so? but what if she says no?”

“any girl would be lucky to have you, denki. you’re sweet, cool, and funny. what more could a girl ask for?” you were only half joking, but of course he didn’t notice.

“well if you say it like that it just sounds like you have a crush on me.” he winked at you and you swore you were about to pass out. not only because of the wink, but because of his sudden implication. (which was a fact)

“you wish,” you snort to make it seem more real, and it seems to work because kaminari’s now pouting at you. “now go get em’ tiger.”

“please don’t say that again.”

“wow okay, cold.”

he stood up, taking a deep breath before walking over to jirou, starting off with a joke as he leaned down on her desk and, as much as she tried to stifle it, a loud laugh escaped her. apparently kaminari’s charm didn’t only work on you. but oh how you wished it did because that way you would be the one getting asked out right now, not her. quite frankly, you would give anything to have him look at you the way he was looking at her right now, as if she was some mystical creature. or better yet, as if he was under some kind of love spell that made him unable to look at anyone else like that.

from the other corner of the classroom, a certain red haired guy looked at you with pity in his eyes, but also concern. he made his way to you, sitting down in kaminari’s previous spot. you sent him a, clearly fake, smile when you noticed it was none other than kirishima, one of your best friends. but he saw right through that.

“hey,” his voice was soft and low, he didn’t exactly want the whole class to know about what was going on. “are you okay?”

you gulped, but still nodded. “of course, why wouldn’t i be?” another fake smile.

“don’t give me that bullshit y/n. you don’t need to lie to me.” that was all you needed to hear before dropping the act, your smile quickly being replaced with a frown and kirishima’s heart hurt for you.

“this sucks,” you say under your breath, looking away towards their direction only to see kaminari playing with one of jirou’s earphone jacks, which obviously made the pain in your chest worsen. “i just want him to look at me the same way he looks at her,” tears began to sting at the corners of your eyes. “is that too much to ask for?” you asked no one in particular as you looked up to kirishima.

“it’s not, but you’ll be okay,” without thinking it twice, he hugged you and you didn’t fight back, instead welcoming the warmth his chest provided you and resting your head against one of his shoulders. “you know he doesn’t know y/n, if he did i’m sure things would be different.”

“i know, but it’s fine. i just want him to be happy.”

even if it’s not with me.

but you don’t say that, preferring to just stay on kirishima’s arms a little longer while trying to ignore the two love birds giggling behind you, your heart breaking more and more each time you heard kaminari’s sweet words. because they weren’t for you, they were for her.

—

« why would you ever kiss me?

i’m not even half as pretty

you gave her your sweater

it’s just polyester

but you like her better

wish i were heather »

HIDING your emotions was something you mastered pretty well by now. you spent years keeping your feelings for kaminari to yourself and you didn’t mind at all; you had come to terms with the fact that this crush was probably one sided a long time ago. so, why did you suddenly felt the need to tell him? it never bothered you, but now, after having to see him every day making heart eyes at her and hear him talk about how cool she was, you thought maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. you just wanted him to have the option; he deserved to know right? or maybe you were just hoping that he would choose you over her. just like you would choose him over anyone in a heartbeat.

but to be honest, you didn’t know what you would do with yourself if he didn’t. if he chose her over you while knowing you loved him too. what if she meant more to him than you did? what if he thought you were outright weird and things became awkward? what if your friendship wasn’t as special as you thought it was? you shook your head, hands coming up to your temples to try and get rid of some of the tension. no, that couldn’t be. you knew he loved you...at least as a friend.

it had been 2 months already since kaminari and jirou started talking. they weren’t oficial yet, but you accidentally overheard her conversation with yaoyorozu a few days ago and heard her complaining about how she wished he finally made a move on her. that somehow relieved you because at least they hadn’t gotten physical yet, but at the same time you wondered if you were being a bad friend by thinking that. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help it. i mean you liked the boy for fucks sake, it was understandable that you weren’t exactly hoping for them to pounce on each other.

“where’s denki?” kirishima asked as he caught up with you in the hallway, both of you making your way to the new dorms.

“don’t know, he left before i could even ask him.” you tried your best to sound neutral, but you knew you didn’t do a good job when you heard kirishima sighing. however, much to your liking, he stayed quiet and didn’t say anything about it, changing the topic to today’s events.

you were grateful to have him; he was the only one who knew about your crush on kaminari and the only one who was able to take your mind off things even for just a little while. soon enough you found yourself laughing by his side as he talked about bakugou’s weird antics and how hot-headed he could be at times, which you had experienced firsthand.

“he was all like ‘hey shitty hair, if you’re not gonna do a good work then fuck off!’ like man calm down, i didn’t even do anything.” you giggled at his accurate impersonation of the angry blonde. shaking your head as you looked up, noticing you were already at the dorms building.

you squinted your eyes when you saw two people standing right in front of the main entrance, but couldn’t make out their faces thanks to the long distance. yet the closer you got, the better you could see them. and once your eyes focused on the couple completely, everything stopped.

it was them.

they were kissing.

right in front of you.

his arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him as if he never wanted to let her go, and her own were wrapped around his neck, caressing his soft blonde hair which you loved to ruffle whenever he laid down on your lap.

they looked so beautiful, straight out of a cheesy romcom movie. the sun was beginning to set and its rays reflected on their skin perfectly, making them look golden. and in that precise moment you realized just how beautiful jirou was and how much she complimented kaminari in every sense of the word. could it be that they were made for each other?

before you knew it, a single tear rolled down your cheek, and you weakly smiled at kirishima when he opened his mouth to try and comfort you, yet no words seemed to come out. because he knew that no matter what he said, the damage was already done. the couple hadn’t even noticed you two, too immersed in their own little world as they giggled and made their way inside, all while holding each other’s hands.

“they make a good couple, don’t they?” you fixed your eyes on your shoes, holding back the sobs that desperately wanted to escape you.

“y/n…” kirishima’s tone was sad, mostly because he didn’t know what to do, but also because he understood perfectly the pain you were going through. he had been experiencing it for a while now.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, kiri.” you sent him another smile, but right when you started walking towards the entrance he managed to see the tears falling down your cheeks as you bit down on your lower lip.

and somehow, that kiss proved to you that you could never beat her, that she had won over kaminari’s heart. something you could never do.

—

« watch as she stands with her holding your hand

put your arm 'round her shoulder,

now I'm getting colder

but how could I hate her?

she’s such an angel

but then again, kinda wish she were dead »

PEOPLE often say one’s happiness shouldn’t relay on others and you had always been a firm believer of that, knowing that people were unpredictable and that they could change at any moment given. so it was only reasonable that you made yourself happy, without needing to depend on other people, yet that didn’t really add up with your current situation. it made you look like a hypocrite.

ever since jirou and kaminari started dating, you had been spending less and less time together. the only time you could have him all to yourself was when you occasionally paired up during training and even then you didn’t really talk much. you were happy everything had worked out for them, and you loved to see kaminari happy, but it hurt you. it hurt so much, to the point that sometimes it was hard to get out of bed.

you missed your best friend. and you knew it was selfish, but did it even matter at this point? did he he notice how you talked less and less? how you barely smiled anymore? of course he didn’t. he was too busy looking at her anyways, too busy going on dates and learning how to play the guitar just for her. his girlfriend.

and as much as you wanted to hate them both, you didn’t have it in you. why would you? because they were happy and in love? you weren’t that desperate. but sometimes, as you watched her throw her head back while she laughed at something kaminari said, you wished he had never met her. you wished you never came to UA in the first place, that way they wouldn’t have met and you would probably still have your best friend by your side. no. even if he hadn’t met her, you knew he would never go for a girl like you.

these past few months had been hell for you, you barely left your room unless it was for school, your eating habits couldn’t have gotten any worse, and you weren’t getting any sleep, too busy crying your eyes out as you wondered what the hell you did wrong. and you knew what you were doing wasn’t healthy, but a part of you wished that something really bad happened to you just so kaminari would pay attention to you again. but he didn’t.

today was one of those days, you didn’t feel like getting up your bed just to watch a dumb movie with your classmates, and possible have to witness jirou and kaminari being all lovey dovey right in front of you. the thought alone was enough to make you roll your eyes, scoffing at how much the pair loved PDA.

“come on y/n! it’ll be so fun.” kirishima was currently trying to convince you to go watch a movie with the rest of class 1-A in the common room, but as expected you denied his invitation. “even bakugou is going!”

“then you’ll be more than fine without me.”

“i’ll miss you tho.” he gave you puppy eyes and you groaned, placing your pillow over your face.

“since when are you so cheesy?”

“stop trying to change the subject,” a frustrated sigh left his lips, and you lowered your pillow to look at him. he was sitting down on the floor with his legs crossed, a frown evident on his face. “i know you don’t wanna talk about it, but you can’t keep on like this y/n.” you flinched slightly at his serious tone.

“i know,” this time it was you who sighed, weighing your options in your head. you knew kirishima was right and he was trying his best to make you feel better, so the least you could do was make him some company. “okay fine,” his head turned in your direction, looking at you hopefully. “i’ll go, but it better be a good movie.”

“yes! you won’t regret it, i promise. and if at some point you wanna leave, then we’ll leave, but you have to at least try.” your heart swelled at his consideration; he was too sweet to you and you didn’t deserve it at all.

“you don’t have to do that, kiri.”

“but i want to. i know it’s not easy, so i’m proud of you for doing this.” his words made a lump appear in your throat. maybe you were being overly sensitive, but hearing him say that meant a lot.

it wasn’t long before the clock striked 9PM and everyone started making their way to the common room, chatting happily as they sat down and got everything ready for the night. you watched as people started to take a seat, whether it was on the couches or on the floor, and you started to get a bit anxious when you noticed kaminari walking down the stairs, but jirou was nowhere to be seen. thankfully.

as much as you tried to not let him have an effect on you, your heart still skipped a beat whenever you saw him. it was truly inevitable, but what you hated the most was knowing you had no effect on him whatsoever.

before you could look away and hide from his view, kaminari spotted you. he sent you a big smile, waving his hand before walking over to where you stood. ok, calm down act normal. it’s just denki. you tried to calm yourself down, but your breath hitched in your throat when you suddenly felt his arms engulf you in a tight hug, your arms slowly coming up to his neck to return the gesture. you would be lying if you said you hadn’t miss this feeling. the feeling of being home again.

but it ended way too fast for your liking.

“hey you! we haven’t hung out in a while, i miss you.”

because you’re too busy with your girlfriend, asshole.

“yeah sorry about that, i’ve been kinda busy i guess.” your tone was off and he noticed, but he brushed it off. maybe she’s tired.

“then what are you doing tomorrow? we can go to the mall or wherever you want to.” your head quickly shot up, looking at him with nothing but hope in your eyes.

“really?”

“of course! we need to have some bestie time.” the wink he sent you was playful, but your lips still curved into a smile from hearing him saying he wanted to spend time with you.

“then maybe we can go to this new-”

“hey babe i saved you a seat,” out of the blue, jirou appeared right next to kaminari, slipping her hand into his. and your heart clenched when you noticed he held it back tightly. “oh, hi y/n!” she sent you a warm, genuine smile, and you felt so bad for wanting her to feel your pain.

“hi jirou.”

“i was just telling y/n about how we should hang out.” you frowned at him, is he inviting her?

“oh? where did you plan on going?”

“i told her she should pick.”

“well that sounds even more fun, any ideas?”

“actually i just remembered i got some homework to finish.” it was a lie, but you didn’t have it in you to third wheel on what was supposed to be a date with your best friend.

“what?” kaminari asked you, not understanding you sudden change in attitude.

“yeah, maybe next time tho.” he wanted to ask what was wrong, but as he opened his mouth to do so, you saw kirishima walking towards the common room with bakugou and took that as your cue to leave the awkward encounter.

“well that was weird.” he mumbled to himself and jirou looked at him questioningly, wondering what he meant.

“hm? what was that babe?” the blonde shook his head, convincing himself he was probably overthinking things. he placed his arm around his girlfriend’s shoulder before walking over to one of the couches. to be more precise, the couch in front of yours.

you sat beside kirishima, your leg bouncing up and down anxiously as you waited for iida to finally play the goddamn movie so you had something else to pay attention to instead of them. kirishima quickly noticed the unusual movement and was about to ask you what was wrong, but once he saw where your gaze was locked on, it didn’t take him long to put two and two together.

he knew better than to ask you in front of everyone if you were okay, so he just gave your knee a light squeeze, which you highly appreciated and let him know so by smiling at him. after a few minutes that felt like eternity, iida played the movie and told everyone to not make any unnecessary noises and be considerate of your classmates which made you scoff slightly.

twenty minutes into the movie and everything was going great so far. you had actually managed to get immersed in the plot and found yourself leaning your head against kirishima’s shoulder to get a better view, but also because the effect of not having a stable sleeping schedule was dawning on you. however, just when you thought you were about to fall asleep on your friend’s comfortable shoulder, you heard some giggles. you opened your eyes slowly, frowning when you saw kaminari leaving small kisses on jirou’s neck. your heart felt like it was being stabbed for the hundredth time and you tried to ignore them and just focus on the tv screen. you really tried to remain calm, to keep up your act just as you had done all this months, but you lost it when you heard those three damn words leave his lips.

“i love you.”

it was low, barely even audible, but you heard it. you heard it loud and clear. and just like that, with your heart losing every last bit of hope it had, you stood up from your seat abruptly, making everyone look at you, before making your way upstairs without saying another word. all of your classmates looked between them, not only confused, but also concerned.

“oi shitty hair,” bakugou spoke from his place next to kirishima, who looked at him with an eyebrow raised. “go check up on her.” he muttered and kirishima only nodded before walking upstairs to follow you.

bakugou’s words worried kaminari even more, was there something going on with you that he didn’t know about? was that why you were acting so weird earlier? no way, you told him everything. you were best friends after all...right? and with that question on his mind, he couldn’t focus on the movie or his girlfriend anymore.

you walked towards your room silently, even though you wanted nothing more than to scream and fight someone. you wanted, no, needed to let all of your pent up frustration out. you had been patient enough, putting his happiness before your own for years now, and while you knew it wasn’t his fault at all, you wanted to be mad at him about something. you wanted him to understand that this wasn’t fair, that you could be good for him if he gave you the chance, that you wouldn’t be a waste of his time, but the only thing that was coming out of you were tears.

angry tears stained your face as they furiously ran down your cheeks, reminding you of all the sleepless nights you spent alone, crying your heart out to no one but yourself. you stood in front of your room, hand reaching out to the door’s knob to open it and spend yet another night wondering why the hell you weren’t enough. but a hand stopped you.

kirishima’s grip on your forearm was gentle, but firm enough to let you know he wasn’t going anywhere, and somehow, his touch made you want to cry even more. you tried to push him away, telling him that you were perfectly fine, yet your bloodshot eyes told a whole different story. and as much as you kicked and screamed, kirishima knew the last thing you needed was to be alone.

“let go!” seeing that holding your arms had no effect on you whatsoever, he tried a different approach. his strong arms hugged you to his chest, and, as much as you wanted to deny it, you found comfort in them. “i said let me go, kirishima.”

“no. y/n listen to me. you need to stop bottling all your feelings up, nothing good will come out of that,” you finally started to relax, breathing heavily as you listened to his words. “it doesn’t matter if you talk, cry, or scream, but you need to voice out how you feel. if it’s not to him, then tell me. i’m always ready to listen.” his voice was so gentle, so soft, yet it held so much emotion and honesty.

more tears fell down your cheeks as you gripped kirishima’s shirt tightly against your fingers, your face hiding comfortably on his chest.

“i can’t take this anymore kiri,” you started talking and kirishima was quick to hug you a little tighter, one of his hands rubbing small circles on the small of your back. “i miss him so much, i miss my best friend. and i want him to be happy, i really do, but why must his happiness cause me so much pain?” a sob racked through your whole body after hearing yourself say those words, the ones you never thought you’d voice out to someone. “at first it was fine and i didn’t mind that much, but now? we barely even talk anymore, and when we do it’s always small talk. and we used to talk for hours about everything and anything, we would never get bored when we were together. now it’s like i don’t even exist to him except for when he seems to have some time to spare. did our friendship meant shit to him? because fuck i wasted years of my life loving someone who can’t even notice how much i’ve been struggling.”

by this point your tears had stained kirishima’s shirt almost completely, but he couldn’t give less of a fuck about that. all that mattered was you and only you. the only thought on his mind was how he was gonna make you feel better. so he held you in his arms a little longer, hoping that somehow his actions could express everything he felt. his free hand came up to caress your hair while he shushed you softly, rocking you two back and forth.

that’s how the night ended.

you, with your heart broken in a million pieces, longing for the person who made you feel this way. because you knew you would always love him, maybe even more than you loved yourself. you knew that no matter how much you tried to hate him, you could never even get close to feeling anything but pure adoration for the boy. and if having him in your life implied having to handle all this heartache and hurt, then maybe you could endure it. because for him it was all worth it.

and a certain redhead with all his feelings caught in his throat. he wanted nothing more than to scream at you for not noticing he understood completely how you felt, way more than you imagined, yet he knew that you would always only have eyes for him. but perhaps that was okay. if the only way to be close to you was comforting you because you loved a guy who was too dense to see what he had in front of him, then so be it. in the end it was all worth it for you.

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nctinthehouse · 3 years

Text

deja vu

based on “deja vu” by Olivia Rodrigo

reader x ex!Jaehyun

genre: angst, fluff, ex lovers au? idk

wc: 3.1k

AN: I wrote this a while ago but I wasn’t planning on releasing or even write it in the first place however, I just fell in love with the lyrics and song when it came out and I could not pass on writing about it. I guess this is my interpretation of the song? Way too many thoughts at night time lol. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it 💕

Do you get deja vu when she's with you?

Running is something you’ve always enjoyed. It’s relaxing, good for your health and helps you clear your mind. Even as a kid, you were always seen running around and giggling. It made you happy.

You’re currently out on a late evening run along the river. This particular area is your favorite place to go to, whether it's for a run, out for a walk or even on the way to work. You like to come here when you need a break from something. The river, the ambience; it made you calm. It’s a special place and means a lot to you. There’s even a cute small store a few minutes away that you discovered when you started coming to this area more often. It’s like a secret place, not a lot of people seem to know about it. Owned by a local lady, she’s so lovely and kind. Her face always lights up whenever you stop by. There’s a lot of memories around here.

It was a really nice day today; clear skies with a few clouds. The sun is starting to set, changing the colors of the sky and clouds with hints of pinks and blues. It kinda reminds you of cotton candy ice cream.

Hmm, you kinda want ice cream now.

You’ve been running for a while now so you decided to jog to the local convenience store and get some ice cream.

As you’re approaching the store, you immediately slow down before stopping completely. You spot someone coming out of the store.

It’s Jaehyun.

His arms around another girl.

You and Jaehyun make brief eye contact with each other. You realise that they’re now walking towards your direction. Snapping out of your thoughts, you lower your head a bit and start walking towards the store trying to avoid having any sort of contact with them. Luckily, you and Jaehyun just walked past each other without acknowledging each other.

But as they were walking towards your direction and walking past, you hear his girlfriend ask him

“Jae, that store is so cute! How did you find it?”

“Oh I was just in this area one day and stumbled upon it. Came here a lot ever since then”

“Well this will definitely be our place from now on, we should come here more often”

That was our place

I found it first

You think to yourself

Stopping again, you turn your head around and spot them smiling and laughing before walking in the store and greeted by the lovely lady there who gave you a huge smile and wave; also waving back at her.

As you’re looking around the store, you think back to the time when you first brought Jaehyun to this area...

“how am i just finding out about this place??” Jaehyun says as you both are currently walking hand in hand along the river

“well now you know” you chuckle

You tell Jaehyun about how you discovered this area as well as the store up ahead when you took a detour on your way back home from class. One of your classes got cancelled which meant you were finished for the day, much earlier than usual. You didn't have anything planned for the rest of the day so you decided to take a different route back to your house.

It wasn't a very busy place which you grew to love. It was perfect for someone who needed a quieter place to think and relax, away from the crowded pavements and honking cars; a place where you could de-stress

“oh Jae, here's the store, come on!”

You quickly pull Jaehyun towards the store excitedly

As you guys go into the store, you spot the lovely owner. You let out a huge grin and wave as you go up to the counter where she is

“oh, Y/N!! so nice to see you again!”

“oh! and who’s this fine young gentleman?” the lady raises her eyebrows

“this is Jaehyun, my boyfriend” chuckling and gesturing your hand towards him

The lady puts her hands on her chest and looks at you guys adoringly

“oh you guys are such a cute couple! Y/N you want an ice cream?”

“yes please!” nodding your head

“Jae you have got to try the ice cream here! the strawberry flavor is a bonus”

“why am i not surprised that it's strawberry flavored” Jaehyun chuckles

After browsing around, you go up to the counter where you’re once again greeted by the lovely lady

“hi sweetie! the usual today?”

You nod your head and chuckle “yeah, thanks”

Looking down at the counter, you look like you’re miles away. The lady notices and frowns a bit

“sweetie, you alright?”

You look up and give her a small smile

“yeah, i’m alright”

As you see your ice cream is ready, you take your card out of your pocket getting ready to pay. However, the lady gently pushes your hand away

“it’s on the house”

You look at her with wide eyes

“oh, no i-”

“i insist” giving you a smile and holding onto your hand

“thank you. i promise to pay you back next time!”

The lady waves her hand around

“oh sweetie don't worry about it! just think of it as a thank you for always dropping by my store”

“thank you again” letting out a small laugh

“take care of yourself ok? i’ll see you around”

“i will” giving the lady a smile and a wave bye before going out of the store

❀❀❀

As you take a seat at a nearby picnic bench and start eating your ice cream, you see that Jaehyun and his girlfriend are still around. Your eyes can't help but wander towards them hanging around by a car. His car. The same car Jaehyun would drive you around in especially during night time. You see them playing around and her feeding him ice cream. You start to notice small things about her such as the clothes she's wearing; she kinda reminds you of herself. Looks like she’s wearing that jacket too. Just like I did.

Is it jealousy?

Maybe...

But more like pity.

So when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?

She thinks its special, but it's all reused

❀❀❀

Moments later, you see them get into the car and drive away. All these thoughts suddenly start clouding your mind and you can't help but wonder

How fast did he move on?

Did he even move on in the first place?

You’re not just trying to replace me, right?

I wonder, how many more things we did together, you do with her too?

You began to reminisce on some of the things you and Jaehyun did when you were still together…

Do you get deja vu when she's with you?

Remember when we used to go on road trips to Malibu?

Music, ice cream and Jaehyun.

Those were the 3 things you loved and needed the most whenever you went on road trips. Heck you could probably throw out the music and ice cream and just have Jaehyun as company only.

Those road trips were often unplanned. Sometimes you and Jaehyun would go without thinking about where you guys would specifically go or what you guys would do there.

There was a particular time which was the most special. It was the first road trip you and Jaehyun went on after you guys made it official. Actually, it was also the first date you guys went on as a couple.

You remember back in high school when Jaehyun would tell you about the times he and his family would go on road trips to Malibu during school breaks for some family bonding time. You hadn’t been to Malibu before so you were very excited when Jaehyun decided on taking you on a road trip there, especially as a first date since you guys had not been on one yet.

Jaehyun drove up to your house and honked his car, letting you know that he’s arrived to pick you up. You run downstairs and look through the curtains and see Jaehyun getting out of the car. You quickly grab your stuff and head out of your house.

You jog up to him, both of you embracing each other in a tight hug. As you let go, you spot the jacket he currently has on

“wow i love your jacket! is it new?”

“oh this? nah, i bought this a while ago from some vintage store”

“can i try it on? i love vintage stuff” your face lighting up

Jaehyun smirks a little as he takes off your jacket with you taking yours off too. He hands you his jacket and holds onto yours as you put his one on.

You let out a gasp

“thanks, this is mine now” you grin at Jaehyun widely before jumping into the passenger seat of his car

Jaehyun looks blankly at you briefly

“baby what am i gonna wear then?”

“you don’t need to though, it's not even that cold right now” you say as you place your arms on the edge of the car windows

“but what if it gets a bit chilly later on?”

“just wear mines” pointing to your jacket that he’s currently holding

“this? you think this would fit me?”

“what? you won’t know unless you try it on” shrugging your shoulders

Jaehyun reluctantly puts on your jacket. He struggles a bit with the sleeves but he manages to get it on. You start laughing as you see how small your jacket looks on him

“kinda suits you though” you laugh

“shut up” Jaehyun says jokingly as he whacks your arms

You fake a loud gasp as you place both of your hands on your chest, not breaking eye contact with him as he gets into the driver's seat

“Y/N you know i’m only joking” Jaehyun chuckles as you glare at him with a unimpressed face

You look away from him and roll your eyes

“baby come ooonnnn i’m sorry i was only jo-”

“just drive” you say with a monotone voice

Jaehyun looks at you for a moment, noticing you biting your lips. He realised sometime ago that it’s something that you usually do to stop yourself from smiling or break out into laughter.

He takes your hand in his and gives it several kisses. Seeing you breaking out a small smile, he smiles to himself before starting the car and driving.

❀❀❀

When you finally got there, Jaehyun happily took you to some of his favorite places he loved to visit. Hours went by quickly and you guys were hungry so Jaehyun decided to take you to a park and have a picnic. It was nice out too so why not.

You guys bought some food from a nearby cafe and set up a picnic spot that had a lovely view of the ocean. There was also a hiking trail in the area and you guys decided on doing that after some lunch.

After lunch, Jaehyun went and got both of you ice cream from an ice cream truck that was parked nearby

“you know what?” you say as you scoop out a another bite of the ice cream

“what?”

“i think i’m gonna make it a goal to try as many different strawberry ice creams i can whenever i visit a new place”

“sounds good baby”

As you look out towards the ocean, Jaehyun takes the opportunity to give you a small kiss on the side of your lips which surprises you. You jump a bit and stare at him with wide eyes

“sorry, you just had a bit of ice cream there” Jaehyun smirks

“oh”

You’re quiet for a few seconds before saying

“is it all gone…?”

Jaehyun leans in closer and closer; he rubs his nose against yours lightly

“almost” he whispers against your lips before locking in with yours

Your first kiss. Oh how sweet it was.

Do you get deja vu?

♡♡♡

Remember when you used to come over to my house?

If you weren't hanging out at Jaehyun’s, he’s usually at yours.

You and Jaehyun would stay over at each other's house every weekend. You guys often had days where you just didn't want to do anything special. Just chilling at home such as eating, sleeping and enjoying each other's company. When Jaehyun is over at yours, one of the things you guys like to do is to sit on the couch and binge watch your favorite TV shows. Today is one of those days.

You guys are currently sitting next to each other, crossed legged on the couch at your house; a bowl of popcorn on your lap while the channel you’re currently watching is doing reruns of one of your favorite shows, Glee. This wasn't exactly one of Jaehyun’s favorite shows. He didn't hate it but he wasn't a huge fan of it like you were. He doesn't mind watching it over and over with you as long as he’s spending time with you.

Grabbing some popcorn pieces, you look at Jaehyun

“Jae open up”

Jaehyun looks confused but opens his mouth anyway

You throw a couple of popcorn pieces, trying to aim it in his mouth but failing; the popcorn always hitting his face. You try a few more times before Jaehyun lets out a complaint

“babe come on!! your aiming skills are awful”

“hey it’s not my fault your mouth ain’t big enough”

Letting out a shocked laugh, Jaehyun grabs some popcorn and throws it at you. You guys end up having a mini popcorn fight before stopping as you realise you got popcorn on the couch and the floor. You guys weren't bothered to do a lot of cleaning today.

A while later, your face lights up as one of your favorite songs on Glee has come on. You grab Jaehyun’s arm and start moving it around, you were too excited.

Moments later, you grab the remote and get up from the couch. You pretend the remote is your mic and you start singing along to the song, belting out some words slightly out of tune

“WORKIN’ HARD TO GET MY FILL”

“EVERYBODY WANTS A THRILL”

Suddenly, you point the remote down towards Jaehyun, wanting him to sing the next bit. He hesitates for a second but joins in anyway, with you singing along

“PAYIN’ ANYTHING TO ROLL THE DICE”

“JUST ONE MORE TIME”

Jaehyun thinks you look ridiculous but looks at you in admiration; a huge smile on his face.

Still singing out of tune slightly, Jaehyun sits and watches you as you're dancing around. He shakes his head and throws his head back laughing. He wipes some of his tears away from laughing so much.

“DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’”

“HOLD ON TO THAT FEELING��

You whip your head towards him, slightly taken aback as Jaehyun suddenly gets up and takes the remote from you and starts belting out the lyrics

“STREET LIGHT PEOPLE”

You let out a laugh as you both dance around singing the rest of the song out of tune but somehow in harmony.

Do you get deja vu?

♡♡♡

Remember the first time you told me you loved me?

Being a music major, you spent a lot of time in a music room, especially in front of a piano. Growing up, you’ve always wanted to be a pianist. You remember the time when you were a kid and saw someone sitting in front of a piano playing a song at a train station. You looked at them with wide eyes and was so mesmerized by the upbeat melody. Letting go of your mum’s hand, you ran up to them and watched them play. You found out from the nice stranger that they were playing a song called “Uptown Girl’ by Billy Joel. It was at that moment you realized what you wanted to be when you grew up.

Ever since then, that tune has stuck with you. When you first got your very own piano, you spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to play it as well as listening to the song many times. Whenever you played it, it brought back all those memories. It meant a lot to you.

You were finished with lectures earlier than expected so you decided to head to the music room to work on a few things.

Whilst sat in front of the piano wanting to work on an upcoming assessment, your mind drifted elsewhere and you started playing Uptown Girl.

You were so focused on playing that you didn't hear Jaehyun coming into the room

“whatcha playing babe?”

You slightly jump at his voice before turning around

“what you doing here? i thought you were in class”

Jaehyun took off his backpack and sat next to you as you scooted to the side a bit to make space for him before he set his bag down beside the piano bench

“class got cancelled so i’m free the rest of the day woooo”

You chuckle at his response and nod

“soo… whatcha you playing babe?”

You told Jaehyun the story about how you came across the song and how your love for music came about when you were a kid.

You and Jaehyun met during high school and eventually bonded over music and grew closer throughout the years. Now here you both are, attending the same university as music majors.

“can you teach me?”

“i can try”

You played the song a few times so Jaehyun could listen to it and get the vibe of it before teaching him the basics then the harder bits.

“i think that's enough learning for now”

“okay” you giggle

Jaehyun asked if you could play him the whole song and you happily obliged. While you were playing, Jaehyun looked at you and was fascinated. You had a huge smile on your face and thought you were the most precious person ever. He wanted to love and protect you by all means.

You were about to go onto the next part when suddenly you hear

“i love you”

As soon as you hear those words, your hands come to a halt. You stare at your hands for a moment before looking at Jaehyun in shock, mouth slightly ajar

“i love you, Y/N”

Do you get deja vu?

A different girl now, but there's nothing new

Shaking your thoughts away, you roll your eyes and scoff before getting up and throwing the now empty ice cream cup away. You decided to head home and enjoy the rest of your evening by watching reruns of Glee with some more strawberry ice cream.

I know you get deja vu.

AN: Thanks for reading until the end! My longest fic I’ve written so far and I’m pretty happy with it. As always I’m happy to get any feedback on it and I really hope you enjoyed reading this. I’m currently working on another fic that’s based on a song I’ve been loving lately so I hope to get that one up sometime! Take care everyone 💜

masterlist

#nct #nct u #nct 127 #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #jeong jaehyun #jeong yoonoh #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun x reader #nct boyfriend #jaehyun oneshot #nct oneshot #jaehyun fluff #nct fluff

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witch-and-a-half · 4 years

Text

arranged

okay so this was originally going to be a blurb for a request, but i got carried away and decided to post as a full fic. i’m a bit surprised because i was really nervous to write draco and angst, but i got into it and i think i’m pretty happy with the finished product

notes: draco x pureblood!reader, draco x oc, angst, fake dating, arranged marriage

words: 3.7k

- - -

“Hello love, did you hear?” Draco called to you as you walked across the courtyard. You kept your head down, knowing he’d gotten a letter from his parents, and it was likely similar to the one you received from your mother at breakfast. Your pace quickened so Draco wouldn’t be in earshot of the rest of your classmates when he reached you.

“You’re going to ignore me?” He sneered from only a few feet behind you. In a moment, he had fallen into step beside you, but his voice was still loud when he repeated, “You’re going to ignore your future husband?”

The murmurs of nearby classmates were blocked out by the feeling of blood rushing to your face as you stopped and made deadly eye contact with Draco. Before you could hurl an insult at him, he turned to you with his signature smirk and coldly said, “So you have heard. Mother and Father have picked you out for me.” His upper lip curled as he spoke.

As much as you wanted to smack that smirk off his face, you refrained and instead took a slow step closer to him. Your voice was a low whisper, so only he could hear, “If you think I can’t make your life a living hell, think again. I don’t want this, and, seeing the way you look at that Muggle-born girl in Charms, I’d guess you don’t want this either. We might as well not make this any more excruciating than it already is.”

You took note of the angry breaths puffing his chest out and fanning hot breath across your cheeks. Before he could respond though, you spun on your heel and marched off. Once you were a few yards away, you called over your shoulder, “Such a shame. I’d hoped my parents would have better taste.” His jaw was clenched with rage and you didn’t even try to stifle a sickly sweet laugh.

~ ~ ~

A few months had passed and, surprisingly, Draco had been relatively kind during the few times you’d interacted since the courtyard fiasco. You’d mostly avoided each other, which was why you were so surprised when he pulled you into an empty classroom after dinner one evening. As much as you hated to admit it, the feeling of his long fingers wrapped tightly around your wrist gave you butterflies.

But once you were inside, you jerked your arm and he released his grip. “What on-” you hissed.

“I need a favor.” Draco’s face was softer than you’d ever seen it. It was so uncharacteristic that it almost made you queasy. Most of you wanted to say something spiteful, but you were too curious as to what could possibly make his eyes fill with desperation. You cocked an eyebrow, keeping a stern look in your eyes.

“You know Arielle?” He murmured, “Well we’ve been seeing each other in secret and I’m worried my parents are catching on so… I need you to pretend we’re dating.”

You pursed your lips as he continued, “We both know this was going to happen eventually so-”

But you cut him off, “What’s in it for me?”

That’s when Draco’s face returned to normal: narrowed eyes, an icy sneer, and a tight jaw. His eyes flicked down briefly before locking on yours. His voice was cold and dry as ever, “I’ll owe you.”

“You’ll owe me?” You spat, emphasizing the word “owe.”

Draco folded his arms across his chest, “Yeah. I’ll owe you.”

You paused for a moment. Maybe having something to hold over Draco’s head wouldn’t be so bad, especially since you were doomed to spend the rest of your life with him.

“Fine,” You said firmly, “but you owe me.”

~ ~ ~

In all honesty, pretending to be Draco’s girlfriend was easier than you had anticipated. Nobody at school expected Draco to be a super affectionate or attentive boyfriend, so you mostly had to hold his hand between classes and sit on his lap occasionally in the Common Room. And every once in awhile, you’d have to spend an evening hiding out in the Astronomy Tower so Draco could see Arielle without people wondering why he’d left you alone on a Friday or Saturday evening, but you didn’t mind spending those nights alone under the stars. The only really difficult part was when he called you pet names; something about hearing the words “darling” and “my love” roll off his tongue made your heart skip. You refused to acknowledge that reaction though.

Sometimes, late at night, you would remember that you may have to spend the rest of your life pretending to love Draco Malfoy, and that made your stomach churn.

It wasn’t until one Friday after classes when you started to really worry about your feelings for Draco. You were in the library looking for a book to use for a paper when someone cleared their throat beside you. Turning, you were face to face with Henry Gilbert—a tall, dark-haired, handsome boy in the year above you. “Hi, Henry… can I help you?” Your eyebrows drew together slightly in confusion as you spoke.

Smiling softly, he responded “Whatcha reading?” Henry turned the book in your hands so he could see the title, and you felt his warm fingers ghost over your hand as he did so. You felt your face flush a bit and you looked from the book to him. You were so flustered that you didn’t notice Draco at the end of the stacks watching the interaction with a hard expression.

“Um, it’s just for a paper…” The look in Henry’s eyes was making your heart pound. Again, he moved his hand to the book resting on your forearm. He placed his hand atop the hand that was wrapped around the book.

“Hey, I was wondering-” He started, causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach as you realized what he was about to ask.

But before he could finish, you saw his wide eyes catch on something behind you. You were about to look over your shoulder to see what had caught his attention when you felt a hand grasp your upper arm and pull you back. Suddenly, Draco was between Henry and yourself with his arm lifted slightly in front of you in an almost protective manner.

Appalled, you hissed, “Draco,” But you froze when he shot you the iciest look you’d ever seen.

“Would your girlfriend be pleased to find out you’ve been in the library flirting with other boy’s girlfriends?” Draco’s tone was stinging.

Henry’s eyes narrowed at Draco before softening and looking back at you. His lips curved into a mischievous grin as he spoke, “Oh, love, wouldn’t you like to have a bit of fun before you have to spend the rest of your life with this git?”

“I-” You began, but Draco’s arm—the one that had been protectively hovering a few inches in front of you—moved so his forearm was solidly on your lower ribcage.

“Don’t you dare speak to her,” His voice was low and deep, nearly a growl, and you realized his other hand was holding his wand by his side.

Henry raised his arms in defeat and raised his brows at you before leaving the library without another word. Draco didn’t make eye contact with you as he pushed passed you to go back to the table he was working at before. As you registered what had just happened, your hand shot out to grab Draco’s arm and stop him. “Hey,” You sputtered, but Draco just grunted and shook off your hand.

As you left the library, your head was swimming. Why had Draco been so protective? Was it because you were his fake girlfriend? Or did it have to do with your betrothal? Or was there another reason for his reaction? Your heart faltered as you considered that last idea.

But you decidedly ignored any potential feelings for Draco; there was no reason to indulge the idea of anything serious happening between the two of you. Your parents had made sure of that when they’d arranged your marriage with the Malfoys.

Things continued like normal after that day: hand-holding and the occasional peck on the cheek. You didn’t think about those worries again until Valentine’s Day. Draco made little effort to celebrate the holiday, which would have made you nervous if you cared about the believability of your relationship. It wasn’t until that evening, as you sat beside him in the Common Room reading a book, that he presented you with a Valentine’s Day gift. “You don’t have to open it now, but I figured I ought to get you something.” His voice was a murmur, and he sounded so insincere that it hurt your feelings a bit, even coming from a fake boyfriend. You nodded silently, toying with the ribbon on the box he’d given you. He pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead before turning back to the conversation he was having with his friends.

Later that night, alone in your dorm, you unwrapped the box. It contained a small box and a pink envelope. Your name was scrawled neatly on the envelope—too neatly to be written by Draco. Curiously, you pulled out the piece of parchment to find a handwritten letter.

Dear [y/n],

I know we haven’t really spoken before, but I wanted to thank you for what you’re doing for Draco and I. I’m sure he hasn’t expressed how much it means to him—and for me as well—but we are both truly grateful. He’s told me he appreciates your help in this, and I feel like I should pass that sentiment along.

With your help, I’ve found the love of my life. He is so sweet to me and we’ve been able to have the most splendid past few months because of all you’ve done to help us. I cannot begin to imagine the sacrifices you’ve made to help us achieve that, but I am so appreciative of it. If you ever need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. I honestly owe you so much. I’m not sure what the future holds for the three of us, but I will always consider you a friend and you can always rely on me.

My gift to him was a bottle of my perfume and a ring with our names inscribed on the inside. You should take credit for both of these if it comes up. Enclosed in this package is a token of our gratitude (I picked them out). You should probably tell people Draco got them for you, but I want to make sure you know that it’s also a girl-to-girl “thank you” gift.

Yours,

Arielle

You swallowed thickly as you read the letter over again. She had drawn a delicate heart next to her name at the bottom of the letter and your hand traced over it. This was the first time you’d really had to think about Arielle and Draco’s relationship. The way she described him was unlike anything you’d ever heard anyone say about Draco before, and you wondered how different he must be around her.

It made your stomach ache to think about. You knew in your heart that you secretly hoped to one day see the beautiful version of Draco that Arielle saw every day. You gingerly opened the box that had accompanied the letter. There were two gorgeous dangly earrings inside, and you could picture Arielle and Draco in a shop together buying them. You could see her pointing at them in a glass case, and Draco paying for them solemnly as Arielle beamed beside him. And you wondered, painfully, what he had bought her for Valentine’s Day. The growing pit in your stomach twisted when you saw the messy scrawl on the other side of the parchment.

Thank you.

- D.M.

~ ~ ~

You and Draco had married soon after the war. Your parents had subtly mentioned that they would understand if you chose not to marry Draco; they were worried mostly about your family’s reputation if they became entwined with the Malfoys, who had fallen from grace on both sides of the war. But you considered three things: the threat of Narcissa and Lucius’s wrath if you backed out of the engagement, the fear that you couldn’t find love with any of your old classmates because you had associated yourself with the Malfoys for too long, and the persistent, foolish hope that maybe Draco would someday love you properly.

Draco worked at the Ministry and you spent your days listless in the home you shared. Draco had insisted on buying a grand estate, and it was larger than the two of you ever really needed. At first, you had considered working, but, with the Malfoy’s wealth, you didn’t need to. Instead, you focused on taking care of the home, picking up hobbies, and finding miscellaneous activities to fill your time. Life was dull, but you felt lucky to be safe and cared for after the chaos of the war.

Most evenings, you’d make dinner and eat with Draco at the kitchen island or in the large dining room. Your relationship was friendlier now. The war had hurt Draco worse than you, so you had become a sort of caretaking companion. He still saw Arielle on occasion too. At first, they had tried to keep up their relationship, but, when she realized he still planned to marry you, things had waned. You didn’t ask Draco about her very much, and he rarely mentioned her. All you knew was that he would visit with her at least a few times a month, and she still sent you gifts or cards on holidays.

Draco and you slept in separate rooms. He was close—just across the hall—but neither of you felt compelled to share a bedroom. Some evenings, he would slip into bed beside you in the middle of the night and be gone before you woke in the morning. You knew it was because of nightmares, but you never discussed it. Those nights were becoming less frequent as time passed though. Admittedly, you liked sharing a bed with him, but you could never tell him that. Your persistent feelings for him gnawed at your heart more frequently than you’d have liked, and some things would especially make your heart ache—like sharing a bed or when he’d spend the night at Arielle’s and you’d be alone in the big empty house.

One evening, when Draco was meant to be at Arielle’s, he came home abruptly. You were redecorating the sitting room—one of your favorite boredom busters—when you heard the door slam and his quick footsteps up the stairs, followed by a rustling sound. As you finished hanging a new painting, you heard something upstairs clatter. You went to the base of the stairs and were about to call up to Draco when you realized that the rustling sound was actually the sound of soft sobs.

You tiptoed up the dark staircase to Draco’s room and rapped gently on the door before coming in slowly. He was crouched on the foot of his bed, facing away from you, with his head in his hands. His shoulders were shaking, but the sobs were quieter now that you were in the room. A few feet in front of him was a shattered perfume bottle and a ring that had been thrown on top of it. You nervously sat down beside him, just close enough that your shoulders touched. Now that you were closer, the smell of the perfume was overwhelming.

When Draco raised his head from his hands, his eyes were puffy and his cheeks were stained with tears, but his expression was solemn. “She doesn’t want to see me anymore.” His voice was strained, “I think she’s found someone else.”

You’d seen this coming. Arielle loved Draco, but he was married to you, and she deserved to find an available man. Draco used to come home from their visits in high spirits, but that wasn’t the case with their past few visits.

Unable to find comforting words, you rubbed your hand up and down his back instead. A few moments passed and Draco’s breaths became steadier before you finally spoke, “Can I clean this up?”

He gulped and nodded, “Please get rid of it.” Using your wand, you dumped the shards of glass in the trash can by the door and evaporated the liquid. You picked up the ring, catching a glimpse of Arielle’s name on the inside, and moved to put it in the trash with the glass. “Wait,” Draco choked, “Can I see it?”

You placed the ring in the palm of his hand and a tear slipped from his eye as he pointed his wand at it. Arielle’s name slowly faded, so only Draco’s remained. He held the ring between his thumb and index finger, inspecting it for a moment before handing it to you.

“You’re all I have now.” He said softly.

Your jaw clenched at his words. The war and marriage had effectively destroyed your social life, and you’d never been close with your family, so Draco had been all you had for the past year or so. His words only reminded you of that.

Draco stood suddenly and grabbed something from inside his dresser. He turned back to you and handed you the ring, which was now on a thin silver chain. “Will you wear this? I promise you I’ll be around more and we can be like a proper husband and wife… like we should’ve been all along.” His voice was pained and pleading, so you obliged.

You rose to your feet and took his hand, “Let’s get you in bed. It’s late.”

Draco nodded as you handed him one of his pajama sets. While he changed, you went downstairs to make him a cup of chamomile tea. You hesitated at the top of the stairs before going into your room to grab your favorite lavender candle, praying it would help replace the lingering smell of Arielle’s perfume. There was a small envelope on your pillow and your name was written on it in a familiar scrawl. You gingerly unfolded the tear-stained parchment.

[y/n],

I wanted to thank you one last time. As always, you can count on me if you ever need anything.

Please take care of him.

Much love,

Arielle

You nodded to yourself before tucking the letter into your nightstand drawer and heading back to Draco’s room, mug and candle in hand.

When you entered his room, Draco was sitting at the end of his bed, staring at nothing. You sat beside him and handed him the mug, “Here, love.” His eyes remained fixed on the empty space ahead of him, but he smiled grimly as he sipped the tea. You lit the candle and sat it on his dresser where the perfume bottle had been. Then you knelt on the floor in front of him so his eyes finally met yours. You put a hand on his knee as you spoke, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

The emptiness in his eyes made your heartache worse than ever before. He blinked slowly before whispering, “Stay with me tonight?”

You took his hand and drew back the sheets on his bed. He crawled in stiffly and you laid beside him. Just like when he had nightmares, you turned your back to him so you were spooning with his arm wrapped tightly around your middle. He sniffled sharply in your ear, and your gut shattered.

You loved him. You had never realized how much or when it had gotten this bad, but it was suddenly unmistakeable. That’s why you’d married him and that’s why you made him dinner every night and that’s why you were so pained by his heartbreak this evening. You cared about him so deeply and genuinely that it made you physically ill. And, as you felt the cold metal ring on your chest, you realized that Draco would never love you as you loved him. His heart would always belong to Arielle in some way or another. You’d seen the gifts they got each other and knew the dates they went on and the way he looked after he’d spent time with her. Arielle was truly meant for Draco, and you would never be that for him because your relationship was predestined by your parents. The realization made your chest feel empty. You’d been hollowed out by the pain of loving a man who would always be near but never truly yours.

Tears were beginning to pool in your eyes when you felt Draco’s chest heave suddenly. Any thought of crying was abandoned as you turned your attention back to the boy beside you. Rotating in his arms, you saw that he wasn’t crying, but dryly sobbing. His face was wracked with worry as you brushed it softly with your fingertips.

“I have to tell you something,” he choked, “I can’t keep it from you much longer,”

You nodded, desperately trying to predict what he was going to say.

His voice was shaky now, “Turn back around, please.”

Turning back so you faced away from him stung a bit, but your heart was beating too fast to deal with that hurt.

Draco took a few deep breaths into the crook of your neck before he spoke. “I got a letter from my parents this morning…”

Your breath hitched as you realized what he was going to say, but you waited silently for him to finish.

“They- They asked about…” His voice cracked and his arm on your waist tightened, “They asked about an heir.”

The only response you could muster was a slow nod. Your eyes were squeezed shut as you came to terms with this next step of your sham of a relationship. Tears began to flow gently from your eyes at the thought. What else were you supposed to do? You would have to start a family with the man you love, all while knowing he didn’t love you the same way. The voices in your head didn’t stop until you realized Draco had fallen asleep. The feeling of his slow breaths on your skin and the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest slowly lulled your aching heart to sleep.

[ A/N: okay so i get a lot of asks and comments about a part 2 for this fic and im honestly so touched!! i posted my thoughts about a part 2 a while back and i’ll link it here <3 ] - oct 4, 2020

1K notes · View notes

bokugaos · 4 years

Text

piece by piece.

pairing: kuroo x reader

length: 3.1k

tags — sex work/prostitution, semi-public sex, oral sex, alley blow jobs, rough sex, creampie, violence, abuse/assault, jealousy, possessiveness, angst.

summary: The first time Kuroo fucks you is your first ever. The second time he fucks you is also the last time.

The first time is in a dirty alley behind the bar, Kuroo’s pants around his ankles and you are fumbling awkwardly down to your knees.

He’s drunk and angry, too pissed off at the world to care who’s sucking him off in the dingy shadows beside the garbage bins. It’s not a bad blowjob by far—certainly not the worst he’s ever had—mouth warm and tight as he grips your hair and shoves his thick cock down your throat. You gag a little until your pretty eyes start to water, though you don’t try to pull away; you just let Kuroo fuck your mouth until he comes with a grunt, and swallows every drop before wiping your lips absently with a delicate hand.

Kuroo doesn’t look up as he tucks himself back into his jeans, though he can hear you get off your knees and lean against the wall with a sigh. The orgasm has taken the edge off his simmering rage, but he’s still drunk as fuck and anxious to get home and crawl into his lumpy bed. He digs into his jeans for twenty bucks and hands it to you without a word, and is surprised when you stuff it into your pocket and then grabs his arm before he can walk away.

“Do you…want me to do that for you again some time?” you ask, and look up at him with wide, hopeful eyes like he is the fucking Santa Claus. “I can meet you here? Or at your place?”

The words are on the tip of his tongue as he shrugs your hand off with a sigh; that he’s not picky about who sucks his cock and pretty much any mouth will do. Instead, he looks at your earnest face and the slightly desperate expression you’re trying to hide and finds himself saying the last fucking thing he ever expected.

“Yeah, here. Same time tomorrow.”

—

He doesn’t even learn your name until the fifth time you suck him off, still panting slightly after taking the load down your throat with a pleased smile.

“My name’s y/n,” you say, staring up at him through those lashes like you’re expecting a fucking pat on the head. He has no idea how he’s supposed to respond so he says nothing, shoving the money at you with a grunt before walking away.

He doesn’t need to know your name or what you do when he’s not around. And he does not spend any time wondering where you stay or why you’re out on the streets in the first place.

It’s none of his fucking business.

—

The first time Kuroo fucks you is also your first time ever, though he has no clue he’s dealing with a virgin until the deed is done.

You’re in his bed, and on your hands and knees, face pressed into the mattress and your hands clenched so tightly on the sheets. If he had bothered to, he might have guessed at the lack of experience; would have known from the wild look in your eyes and the nervous gnawing of those plush lips as you strip hastily and crawl onto the bed.

Instead, he’s too distracted by the show of your skin and his own painful erection to do much more than a perfunctory prep before he’s pushing in. you keen, high and wounded and clench down, and it takes every bit of his willpower not to just shove his cock all the way in and start thrusting his hips. As it is, he barely gives you a few moments to get used to being filled, before he starts hammering that pretty hole like his life fucking depends on it.

You groan, back arching against every thrust, sounding pinched and breathless every time he sinks in and bottoms out with a forceful grunt. You feel damn good around his swollen prick, and he finds that he can’t get enough of the way your skin bruises under his rough and calloused fingertips. It drives him wild when you grit your teeth and try so hard not to whine, which only tips Kuroo to haul his hips back and fuck you even harder.

He’s so pent-up that it doesn’t take long before he’s on the edge, and then he’s dragging you up onto your knees and spurting hard, biting down on a bare neck as he comes and comes inside that tight flesh. When he finishes he pulls out slowly, almost gently, though it still makes you cry out like you’re being punched in the gut.

“You okay?” he asks, as you just lay there on the bed, head cradled in your arms as you stare blankly at the far wall. “Did you come?”

“No,” you say, so quietly he can barely hear you. “I didn’t think I would the first time. Maybe once I’m used to it, and it doesn’t hurt.”

Kuroo stiffens, and slowly climbs off the bed. “What the fuck? What do you mean first time?”

You turn to look up at him and shrug, though your eyes are red and a little wet. “Everyone has a first time, right? This was mine.”

He pushes the bills into your hand hesitantly and leaves you on the bed.

He doesn’t see you again for a month.

—

Kuroo finds you there the week after, in the alley behind the same bar, in your usual spot at the usual time. But it’s obvious that you’re not waiting for him tonight, because you’re on your knees again in the shadows, sucking some other man’s dick like you were born for it.

His first impulse is to turn around and leave, to get away from the vivid image of your lips wrapped around someone else’s dick, licking and swallowing like you’re eating a goddamn ice cream. It’s followed by a second impulse to grab the guy and break his fucking nose, the rage welling up fast and violent when you start choking on the cock that’s being unceremoniously rammed down your throat.

Instead Kuroo just stands there and watches, frozen as the man in the cheap grey suit shoots his load inside your mouth with a satisfied grunt. You barely have time to swallow before you’re being hauled onto your feet and kissed within an inch of your life, roughly and messily like the guy is trying to inhale you. Kuroo is practically seeing red with the way he’s manhandling you like so much meat, grabbing and sucking and bruising you like his measly twenty bucks gives him the right to touch every inch of your body.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” the guy yells, when he finally notices Kuroo looming just a few feet away. “You her pimp? Or her next client?”

“I’m not—”

“Don’t mind him, he’s nobody.” You interrupt, and Kuroo can’t disagree, even if the words stick in his craw like so much bile.

The tone of your words manages to surprise Kuroo, if not the invitation; he knows full well that you can’t possibly live off of the measly few dollars you make off of Kuroo alone. No, it’s the way you sound when he makes the offer—all fake happiness and a sultry smile, knowing exactly which strings to pull to get a man’s groin to pay attention.

There’s none of the vulnerability and shy air that you usually carry when you’re dealing with Kuroo, and it makes him feel nauseous, like he doesn’t know which version of you is the real one.

He watches as you follow the cheap suit guy to his small green car parked just a few feet away, ignoring Kuroo as you climb into the passenger seat. He continues to watch as the man grabs you by the back of your neck and crushes his lips to yours, like he wants to take you right there, spread your legs wide and fuck you on the fake leather seats. He watches until the car tears out of its spot and disappears down the road, leaving him standing in the alley alone, his mind filled with images of you on your knees.

Kuroo doesn’t sleep at all that night.

—

Four days later you show up at his apartment unannounced, sporting a split lip and red marks over your arms, and finger shaped bruises around his neck.

Kuroo lets you in without a word.

You flop tiredly onto the couch, pulling your legs to your chest with a sigh as he heads into the kitchen to fix you some food. When he returns, you take the plate and cup of coffee with a grateful nod and a quirk of your cracked and not quite bleeding lips.

“Really? Coffee? Do I look like I need coffee?”

Kuroo snorts. “Just do me a favor and tell me who that guy is.”

“It’s fine, I don’t really know him anyway,” you shrug, and start to wolf down the meal like it’s the first food you’ve had in days. Which is both a relief and a sting to his heart, because you don’t know that much about him as well, and neither does he.

So he doesn’t ask for any further details, and you don’t offer, though he does ask you to stay the night and sleep on the couch. He tries not to think too much about the relief that flashes briefly across your face, or what he wants to do to the guy who put his hands on you and made you look this way.

You are not on the couch when Kuroo gets up the next morning, and he tells himself that it’s just as well.

—

“Are you in some kind of trouble?”

He doesn’t know why he asks the question; has received no indication from you that any inquiry into your affairs is either wanted or appreciated. But since you showed up at his place last week ago, bruised and obviously in distress, he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about what happened, and when—not if—it might happen again.

You arch an eyebrow at him and frown. “Why do you think I’m in trouble?”

Kuroo shrugs. “You’re not at your usual spot anymore, behind that bar. I thought…maybe you’re avoiding the guy that hit you.”

The smile that blooms across your face is wholly unexpected, those eyes bright with amusement and something that looks a little too much like softness.

“Yes, but it’s fine. I moved to a different spot and I don’t think he’s going to come looking for me anyway. Not after what I did to him.”

You are grinning now, practically begging Kuroo with the barely contained glee on your face to ask for details. “Alright, I’ll bite. What’d you do?”

You shrug, swallowing a mouthful of your food before you answer, “I waited until he fell asleep and took nude photos of him in his bed. Then I texted them to as many people as I could find on his contacts.”

“You did what—?” he starts, and then, “I’m quite pleasantly surprised. He’s such a good guy.”

“Right?” You say with a laugh, and then your expression changes, smoothing out into a mask of carefreeness that he doesn’t quite buy. “I left after that. But not before cleaning his wallet.”

—

“You can stay here, if you want,” Kuroo says to you the next morning, his arms around your waist as you lay together in his bed. “Just…I don’t know where you live but if you need a place to go you can crash here.”

You turn in his arms until you’re facing him, your face graced with a shy smile and asks, “Can I suck your cock in exchange for rent?”

“No! It’s not…I don’t mean you have to give me any…fuck,” Kuroo swears, as you tilt your head to the side in realization. “You don’t have to do anything for me.”

“Yeah,” You agree, “same goes for you.”

—

It takes Kuroo almost an entire week before he realizes that you have taken him up on his offer to stay, your comings and goings unpredictable and your actions often completely unexpected. There are days when you don’t leave the apartment at all; where you spend hours cleaning the living room and wiping furniture, or doing all his laundry. Other times you will disappear for an entire day and night, and return stinking of alcohol and covered in other people’s seed and sweat. Those nights, he watches as you limp into the bathroom and quietly locks the door, and spends hours in the shower, long after the water turns icy cold.

He never asks, but he never says no either, when you climb on him on the couch and unbuckles his pants with quick and steady hands. It’s not just lust that makes it so good when you lick him sloppily from root to tip; it’s also the shame bubbling just under his skin, watching you swallow him down with those perfect cock sucking lips. Kuroo can’t stop staring at your swollen mouth sliding up and down his cock; can’t stop bucking his hips and fucking your throat, relishing the noises you make when he shoots his entire load in your sinful mouth with a groan.

You always lick your lips after you suck his cock, like it’s the best damn thing you’ve ever tasted.

And you only smile afterwards when you do it for him.

—

One day, you come home in the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday, carrying shopping bags that you dump unceremoniously onto the floor. You’re wearing a brand new outfit that looks more expensive than what he makes in a week, gleaming bracelets adorning your wrists and a diamond necklace sparkling on your neck. Gone are your loose worn t-shirts and baggy, low-rise jeans; you look like a model in one of those designer catalogues, or the A-list celebrities going to get coffee in sunny L.A.

Kuroo hates it.

He hates it, because of how right you look in your expensive new outfit; like these are the clothes you’re meant to be wearing.

Like you belong in them all the time, and in a world far, far away from him.

He makes you take all your fancy jewelries off, and then fucks you roughly with two fingers until you come all over his couch.

—

You still show up at the apartment smelling like sex, with bite marks on your collarbone and your lips swollen from kisses.

But you also come home with bags and bags of groceries too, and make sure to stock the fridge full of his favorite beer.

He tells himself that he appreciates your thoughtfulness, and isn’t at all jealous of whoever the hell it is that’s giving you what he needs.

Giving you everything you deserve and could never get from a guy like him.

—

The second time he fucks you is also the last time.

You ask him to go out for dinner one night, to a place with neatly folded cloth napkins and dimly lit candles on the table, and you order the most expensive dish on the menu. You spend the evening devouring a mountain of food and making fun of the pretentious staff, and Kuroo pretends he’s perfectly fine with the fact that some rich asshole he doesn’t know is paying for this good time.

But he bites back the festering resentment and gives you a genuine smile, because he’s never seen you so damned happy and relaxed, laughing and smiling as you make your way back to Kuroo’s apartment. He lets you lead him into the bedroom and shut the door behind them, and grins into the toe curling kiss that follows as you move to the bed.

This time, when he’s got you naked on your hands and knees, he takes care to be gentle and thorough, spreading your legs wide and working you open. He slips his tongue and licks your wetness all over, and tastes every bit of that pretty cunt while you clutch the sheets and writhe and moan.

“Tetsurou,” you pant, as he slides in slowly, inch by excruciating inch. “F-feels so good! Oh, please, please fuck me, god I want to feel you, please..!”

“I’m gonna fuck you so good,” he says, groaning as you arch your back and clench around him. “Gonna make you scream my name.”

And he does, relishing every sound he can wring out of you as he sinks to the root, and every breathless sigh as he starts rocking his hips. Every stroke makes him want to push harder and thrust deeper, as he watches his cock disappear over and over inside that pretty pink hole.

He fucks you for what feels like hours that night, stopping whenever he gets too close to wring every ounce of pleasure possible from your sweat soaked bodies. He fucks you on your knees and then flips you over onto your back, and drives himself inside you like he wants to own him; be the one to break you apart and put you back together again.

“Is it good like this? When he fucks you?” Kuroo snarls, throwing your legs over his shoulders and sinking even deeper. “Do you tell them that you want them so bad? Beg them to ruin you too?”

You don’t answer, spurting all over yourself as he keeps drilling you into the bed. He follows a few rough strokes later with a groan, fingers biting deep into soft flesh, every part of him howling with possessive fury as he paints your tight walls with his come.

“No,” you whisper, much later, with Kuroo’s arms wrapped around you and his nose pressed against your neck. “It’s not like this at all.”

—

The space beside him is empty by the time he wakes the next morning, and there’s a neatly folded note on the nightstand.

He ignores it until he can’t anymore, and then crumples it in his fist and tosses it into the garbage can.

He’s always known that this is how it would end.

Still, he wishes he knew more than just your first name, or how your smile—the real one, soft and genuine—was the best thing he’d ever fucking seen.

He doesn’t see you again for a long time; days and months and years until there’s nothing left but a memory of you and a dull, aching hole in his chest.

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