#and beverly was just a girl they knew about but didn't really know

[sixxteenbullets]

hi!! if ur requests were open, if not thats fine!! i was possibly wondering if u could possibly write a henry bowers x masc reader? basically where the reader recently gets diagnosed with autism, and some assholes make fun of them for it, henry finds them crying in the bathroom and comforts them? if not that's fine!! thank u!!

DIFFERENT

PAIRING- HENRY BOWERS X MASC!FEM!READER

SUMMARY- Y/n was used to being made fun of for being different. She didn't dress like the other girls in her school, nor did she really act like them either. But when people find out about her diagnosis with autism and decide to poke fun at that? It certainly hit a nerve. Not only did this bother her, but it apparently bothers the biggest bully in the school and even brings out a softer side of him. BLURB.

WARNINGS- SWEARING, VIOLENCE, BULLYING, SLIGHT BEVERLY SLANDER (purely for plot, I love her)

A/N- Requests are always open, I just might not get to them very quick or even at all if the plot isn't what I'm comfortable with. Also, if you wanted a male reader, I'm sorry but I don't write that right now (maybe once I get more into writing I'll try)so the reader is female, just masculine. I also chose to stay pretty in character for Henry, take that how you will.

She didn't know why her dressing differently struck such a nerve in the guys at her school. It's not like she wore anything offensive. Why did it matter if she didn't wear skirts as tiny as Gretta's or shirts as right as Beverly. It wasn't effecting anyone.

Y/n got used to the picking though. She knew what it meant to be different in her time and eventually grew indifferent to the harmful words or physical actions.

What she wasn't used to, however, was a particularly bad group of boys going through her medical records at the drug store and finding that only says before, she was diagnosed with autism. That's when it really got bad.

The news spread around so fast, the morning of the day after, everyone in school knew about it. All day she had paper balls and pencils thrown at her head, words she'd never heard directed at her, and she'd even been shoved into her locker more times than she cares to remember.

It was only until the fifth period, after lunch, did she realise that it affected her more than what she led herself to believe. This realization grounded her in the girls bathroom, cigarette loosely hanging from her lips.

Y/n never smoked much, only when she was trying to seem cool or trying to piss off people around her, but the moment seemed worthy. The unfamiliar mass of smoke going in and out of her lungs was welcomed. Every puff that has the back of her throat aching and her tongue dry was her method of distraction from the tears burning her eyes and the reoccurring urge to puke in her belly.

Every word said to her replayed in her mind as every bruise on her body ached. The pain was just as appreciated as the tears. It was as if she deserved it. Overall, she knew she shouldn't feel bad about it, it wasn't like there was anything wrong with it, but insults can only be ignored so much.

These thoughts distracted her from the creaking door of the bathroom, which opened and closed with unneeded force. She only looked up when the sound of footsteps clicked in her mind. Her head shot up, tears unwillingly falling, and she was met with the strange sight of Henry Bowers. Henry fucking Bowers.

She panicked, immediately thinking that he was there to fuck with her. He had always kept his pack of boys at bay when it came to her, but she knew of the horrors he'd done.

When she expected him to begin his bullying, he didn't. Instead, he trotted over to where she sat down and leaned back against the wall. Crossing his arms and sighing deeply.

Y/n watched him wearily through teary eyes. Every movement of his alarmed her. What the fuck was he going to do? It appeared like he was working up the nerve to do something, maybe spew more insults, bang her head against the wall and ditch.

Then, finally, he broke the tension filled silence. "Ya' know, who gives a fuck,"

The words spiked a confusion in her, making her draw her brows together and stare as he went on.

"So fucking what you dress different, fuck those assholes. Why don't you fight back?"

It took a while for her to reply due to the shock that dominated her mind. "S' not that easy for me."

It wasn't. She had barely any friends, none who would defend her, and she couldn't fight anyone herself. And let's be honest, that's how everything is fixed now. Fight for it or let it happen, that's just how it was.

"Just because you don't dress like some of those sluts." Was she dreaming? Or was Henry Bowers comforting her? If so, he wasn't very good at it. Though, she didn't really expect that he would be. "Or are fucking different."

"Are... You comforting me?"

His head shot to her and he has a look on his face that made it seem like he was offended at the accusation. Once he took in her disheveled state, his eyes softened slightly. When his response never came, she asked something different.

"Why?" Her voice was so quiet, as if she was scared to ask.

To be honest, he didn't really know why he was being so nice. It wasn't often in his nature to be nice, not right away, anyways. If he did happen to choose kindness, it was someone he trusted, but he only knew the basics about Y/n.

The soft feeling within him was foreign, but not unwelcome, as much as it alarmed him to let his guard down. He sunk down next to her, stretching his long legs out. "Shut up."

As unneeded as the rudeness was, she wasn't mad. In fact, a small giggle left her lips. He was being nice to her and he was horrible at it. She didn't know what his home life was like, but she knew it was bad, so there was no reason to be upset with his poor ways of comforting.

The tears left her eyes red and cheeks damp, but they were gone. Her head rolled to the side and she looked at him. Did he always have such a cute nose? As these types of questions arose in her brain, other things came up as well. Things that never stuck out to her were now as clear as day. Faint bruises at the base of his neck, a jagged scar peeing out from his hairline, a sort of wildness in his eyes as he glanced around the empty bathroom.

As if a puzzle came together, she realised the rumors were true. Henry's dad wasn't only drunk, but he was a damn abuser.

"I'm sorry about your dad." It wasn't necessary in her nature to be comforting either, but he sure as hell needed something.

"Sorry about those kids sticken' their nose in your business."

"Thank you." Very, very slowly and very, very hesitantly, hee pinky overlapped his, which was resting on the floor between them.

While he did nothing to egg it on, he did nothing to oppose her affection.

"Fuck them." He muttered one last time.

"Fuck them." She agreed.

----------

Choppy, messy, ooc, late. I have new writer syndrome.

I think I'm depressed.

[stitching-in-time]

Finished Star Trek: Prodigy season 2! Overall, I loved it, it was everything I hoped for, and then some. I love time travel paradoxes and alternate universes and that kind of stuff, so this season's story arc was right up my alley, and I think they did it just right. From story, to visuals, to character development, this whole season was just mindblowing the whole way through. The very ending leaves me trepidatious for the future, unfortunately, but I still very much want another season, and I want to celebrate what a monumental achievement season 2 is, both as thing unto itself, and as an epic expansion of what Star Trek can be.

Thoughts and analysis (with major spoilers!) below!

The biggest things for me this season were how Dal and Gwyn grew as characters, Janeway and Chakotay's relationship becoming even more of a central thing, and my boy Wesley Crusher returning as basically a Time Lord to help the Protostar kids save the timeline. As a Next Gen fan, I can't begin to describe how much it means to see Wesley again, and know that he's still out there, doing good in the universe, like I always knew he would. Beverly Crusher raised a good kid! As fans, we always joked about how Wesley Crusher is a Time Lord now, and now Prodigy said, yeah, he really is! That's what the Travellers do! They're literally like the Time Lords in Doctor Who, but with more hands on helping and fixing things, and I'm like yes, perfect!! I couldn't have asked for better, honestly, and Wil Wheaton does a terrific job as manic pixie Time Lord Wesley (there's no other way to describe him lol) without losing the essence of the Wesley we knew. After the horrible, hurtful disappointment of what they did with Picard and the rest of the Next Gen crew in the Picard series, seeing at least one of my first Trek crew getting the respectful treatment their character deserves means, so, so much to me, I can't even begin. My boy Wes! I love him!! (But dude- call your Mom ffs! Janeway is such a space mom herself for calling him on that. The scene at the end where Wes and Beverly hug was EVERYTHING to me. I cried. 30 years I have waited for that!!! Thank you thank you thank you!!!)

Gwyn and Dal's character arcs this year were great too. Gwyn always had the commanding presence that said 'captain' to me, from the beginning. Much as I like Dal, I felt like it didn't make sense for him to be the captain, given his personality and experience, and it kind of seemed like they gave him that because the lead character always has to be a boy, by default, in any children's media that isn't explicitly aimed primarily at girls. But seeing how it shifted this season was really wonderful. How Gwyn stepped up to be a leader, and how Dal realized that being the right hand of someone you trust and respect is just as important a role as being the one in charge, was lovely, and paralleled the relationship between Janeway and Chakotay. Gwyn and Dal are kind of coming from opposite ends of the childhood trauma spectrum; Gwyn being forced to ignore her own judgement, and obey her father's commands without question; and Dal, being undervalued by his surrogate mother, being told and shown by her that he's unimportant and uneeded. The positions that they came to here, as a Captain and her Number One, and are the direct opposite of the roles their parents forced on them, and the exact places they need to be to overcome those negative beliefs and let their true natures shine through. It's so good!! And they actually talked to each other about their relationship! (or at least tried before they got interrupted.) That's honestly way more emotionally mature of them than almost any other romantic pairing in Trek! The kids are all right!! And I love that Gwyn is taller than Dal, and nobody cares. I can't think of the last time I saw a show where a girl being tall wasn't presented as a problem for her boyfriend to be insecure and crappy about it. Not making girls feel bad for being tall, and not making boys insecure about being short, is so important, especially in a show aimed at kids. Way to break down those gendered stereotypes!!

Janeway and Chakotay got so much to do this season, and I loved every minute of it. I love that Prodigy is basically a Voyager sequel. Janeway in the Captain's chair on a new Voyager is like, a dream come true, and seeing Voyager characters again is a special thrill for those of us who grew up with them and love them. (Ngl I was thrilled that my boy Tom Paris got namedropped twice! And so much yes to having him design the Nova Flyers!!! I've always headcanoned that Tom and B'Elanna stayed on Earth after Voyager and designed ships and warp engines and stuff at Starfleet HQ so they could give their kids a more stable childhood, and I'm beyond thrilled and thankful to have that somewhat canonized!!) I kinda wish it had been Tuvok rather than the Doctor along for this voyage, since he's Janeway's best friend, but the Andorian guy (Tysis? Why can't I remember his name??) does remind me of Tuvok a lot, so it might have been an odd vibe to have two similar characters. And anyway having the Doctor along did prove useful to the mission later on. (Though I don't know what it is, but the voice Robert Picardo uses for the Doctor on Prodigy is off, somehow- it's higher pitched, and the cadence is different. If I didn't know it was him, I'd think it was a different actor, and it's pretty distracting. But luckily the Doctor was mostly just there to be comic relief, and didn't have a ton of scenes.)

The character who surprised me the most here, though, was Chakotay. I like him a lot better on Prodigy than I ever did on Voyager. It's not even that I disliked him before, so much as that I feel the writing wasn't always there for him, and that they didn't really care to fully flesh him out and make his characterization consistent. His love for Janeway was one of the only things about him that was consistent, and they really highlighted that aspect here. I've never been much of a Janeway/Chakotay shipper, but I'm shipping it now. I know the die hard J/C shippers are probably livid that we didn't get a kiss or a direct acknowlegement of their feelings this season, and from the way it was going, I don't blame them, I expected it too. But I feel like Prodigy's writers aren't dumb enough to tease it so heavily without paying it off- I'd wager they're playing the long game and saving it for later, what with all the insanely shippy stuff going on between them here. The pda! The longing! That reunion scene! Heck, even Starfleet command knows they have a thing going on, and that Janeway can't be normal about Chakotay! Even the kids give them looks like they know there's something going on between them! The parallels between them and Dal and Gwyn, who already are a romantic couple, make it pretty obvious that Janeway and Chakotay are like a template for them to emulate. I didn't care one way or another about whether Janeway/Chakotay became a thing when this season started, but now I'm invested. They're in love, just admit it!

I love that they added Ma'jel to the Protostar gang, it's nice to have another girl to balance things more. And the fact that they named her after Majel Barrett hits me straight in the heart. So much love for the OG queen of Star Trek!!

I really appreciated Gwyn getting the chance to meet the younger version of her father, and get the chance to recieve some kindness and care from him, at last. I hope now that the timeline is different, she'll be able to have a better relationship with him at last. (I'm still not entirely sure how Gwyn can exist now that he's not going back to become the Diviner in the new timeline, but I think maybe it's some sort of alternate timeline/parallel universe stuff?? That's the one part of the timey wimey plot I was a little fuzzy on, but honestly the rest of it is so awesome that I don't even care that much.)

One of the few things that I disliked this season was Voyager A having a 'cetacean ops' tank on board. It was fine on Lower Decks because it's a comedy, so I don't take anything that happens there too seriously. (I just thought it was a SeaQuest joke, tbh.) But for a drama series, it really bothers me that Starfleet would take wild animals from their homes and plunk them on a starship. Even though they can communicate with the whales now, so we infer that the whale consented to be there, it seems incredibly unlikely that any wild creature would chose to live in a tiny tank away from their ecosystem and others of their kind. Animal captivity is not a cool thing to be promoting in this day and age, so I hope that will go away, and we won't have to see any more of that.

The biggest problem I had with this season though, was all of the references to stuff from Picard at the very end. Worse still than animal captivity was Picard's horrible storyline about using slaves to build Starfleet ships. It's like the writers on that show had never seen an episode of Star Trek in their lives, and had no idea what it's even about. They literally referenced the Next Gen episode 'The Measure of a Man', so they must have seen it, and yet they totally ignored it's message that androids aren't property, and it's assertion that creating an army of android slaves would abominable, and against everything the Federation stands for. The whole point of that episode was that they established the legal precedent to prevent that. To turn around and have that happen is a huge betrayal of the optimistic spirit of the show, and a shows a deep misunderstanding of all of the characters. You cannot sit there and tell me that any of the characters we know would sit idly by and let the Federation institute slavery. You can't convince me that they would just go on with their lives like everything was fine while that was happening around them. You can't tell me Starfleet wouldn't have a wave of resignations in mass protest, that there wouldn't have been protests all over Earth to stop it. Just casually dropping something as horrific as 'oh, our android slaves rebelled and blew up the fleet we forced them to build for us' in the middle of a show aimed at children is deeply disturbing, and deeply wrong- allowing slavery in the Federation negates everything it is, and demolishes Star Trek as a beacon of hope for the future.

I'm very worried for Prodigy's future if it's going to take place in that awful reality, for which there is absolutely no excuse or explanation that can be had to justify it. I'm absolutely horrified to think that it might become the status quo that we're just supposed to accept, but conversely, if they don't gloss over it, if they look at it head on, in all it's horror, there's no way to deny that everything that Starfleet and the Federation stand for is a lie. There's just no good way forward with it, I fear. If the Protostar gang were to find out that someone was messing with the timeline to create that reality in the first place, and that they had to go back to stop it from happening, and erase that timeline from existence, then I could be okay with it, but I doubt they'd do another time paradox plot so soon. I'm just afraid that I won't be able to love Prodigy anymore either, because it will have let me down, just like Picard did.

I desperately hope this season wasn't Prodigy's pinnacle, and that it will continue to believe in hope and kindness and the possibility of a better future, and to fight against the cruelty and cynicism that Picard's writers poisoned the Star Trek universe with. I care about these characters, and this world, and I want to see more of them. I would love a third season, but only if it lives up to Star Trek's ideals of love and equality and compassion. Prodigy has been such a bright spot for me, I've come to love this new crew, and being able to see my beloved Voyager crew members still out there being heroic, and being happy. I hope it can continue to be that bright spot. Based on what wonderful things I've seen overall in these first two seasons, I'm going to choose to have faith that it will.

Here's hoping we get a season 3 that's just as amazing!

[kai-anderson-whore]

He's a cult leader (part 11) (kai Anderson x reader series)

Warnings: cult shit, talks of leaving the cult, pregnancy, the whole kool aid fiasco, the basement scene when kai smashes oz's phone. Arguing with kai. Talks about Jim jones

Part 10 here

Taglist: @spill-the-t @iluwmycats @lili-tate @evanpeterswifeyy868 @jademunson @evanpetersfansblog @howtobesasha @lustforeverrrr @fand0mh03

•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•..•°˚˚°•.•¤❅¤•.•¤❅¤•.•°˚˚°•. .•°˚˚°

As the more weeks went by you began to snap back into reality knowing you were indeed pregnant you were now around 9 weeks kai was fulfilled with joy but you were on edge the worry of him potentially changing his mind scared you and the fact that your really bringing a baby into this mess made you more.

But what made you really snap was the night kai had a council meeting, you didnt attend since you were with winter and oz ally and ivy's son, entering allys home with their son you sensed the tension in the room ally sent oz to his room while we talked.

"We have to leave i found this" winter said handing ally a piece of paper, "how to leave a cult" ally read furrowing her brows "if we pack lightly and leave as quick as possible" winter said you stood there not saying anything, "and what made you change your mind?" Ally asked you sighed running a hand through your hair.

You didn't want to turn your back on kai and the cult but with a baby on the way you couldn't bring them into this, you didn't want the life growing inside you be as messed up as you and kai, "because I'm having his child and I don't want to bring them into this" you replied eyes welling up, "it's a bit too late for that" ally said you knew she was right you were in far too deep you seen enough and if kai would come finding anyone it would be you.

"I know ally but this baby made me change and I can't have them be brought into this mess you'd do the same if it was oz" you sighed wiping your tears, "and after what he did to his own brother none of us are safe" you added just as the door was banging winter answered revealing kai's henchmen.

"What are you bitches doing" one of them said, "talking about girl stuff" winter said "divine ruler wants all of you back at the house for a meeting" he said you all followed with your tail between your legs back to the house.

You all sat on the sofa of the basement as kai and the rest of the cult stood around you all after breaking up a fight between beverly and winter, "disloyalty, backstabbing and lies that is what politics as usual looks like. Fighting ourselves we need to get beyond that petty shit and reach a new threshold and enter the power space" kai spoke confidentiality as you all watched him from the sofa you didn't know what he was on about anymore.

Kai then went over to the island in the basement taking a very large pot with little cardboard shot cups, you were even more confused as he set it on the table infront of you "what is that?" Winter asked blankly, "we need to do something radical" kai said you knew most likely it was another test on your loyalty.

"Jim Jones said" kai paused opening the lid of the pot you instantly knew what was going to happen next, "Oh no kai" you whimperd cradling your practically none existing bump hoping he would spare you at least, "death is not a fearful thing, it's the living that's cursed" he quoted laying out each cup on the tray, "Jesus kai" beverly sighed, "who the hell is Jim Jones?" Winter asked you couldn't speak to shocked to say anything and to frightened to.

"He made his followers drink poisoned kool-aid" beverly answered her question, ivy and ally tried to talk him out it for their sons sake but he just ignored them pouring the kool-aid into the cups, "this kool-aid isn't just for the woman, it's for all of us" he stated finishing pouring the liquid into the cups.

"Kai please don't think about the baby" you whispered but he didn't listen gesturing for you all to drink the kool-aid you slow took the cup the liquid going down your throats then the mens only to find out there was nothing there, you felt so angry at kai you stood up in a fit of rage.

"Are you fucking serious kai I could have died infact fuck me you could have killed your unborn baby haven't i already proved my loyalty enough to you huh?" you yelled holding your stomach, "now why would I kill all of us when I'm running for Senate and more importantly why would I kill the mother of my messiah baby" kai chuckled beverly was on the floor in hysteria you felt the rage build up and now you knew someway you had to get out of this "and yes you have proved your loyalty to me y/n time and time again" .

"Kai you better fucking wise up for this baby from now on I'm taking nothing to do this anymore I'm done" you shouted all kai's men taking a step closer to you making you laugh in more anger, "touch me and I'll break your hands" you said kai smirked at how you stood up to the men real feminine rage, "leave her boys the pregnancy hormones and yes a messiah will be born to one day lead you and your children or future children" kai applauded making the men cheer kai on.

"I don't fucking believe this I'm going to bed I can't deal with this kai for this fucking baby's sake" you said leaving the basement.

The next morning you sat in the basement as kai was with oz sending winter to pick him up early, you didn't want oz to be brought into this watching as kai did pinky power with the kid, "I'm your daddy oz" kai said looking the kid dead in the eye lying to the poor soul, the kid was happy he had a dad but you knew it was all a lie.

Ally and ivy came running into the basement knocking the cup of kool-aid out of oz's hand "it's sugar free" kai said in defence ally grabbed her sons hand telling him they were leaving, "let him decide I promised his we'd play games and he could stay the night" kai said ivy convinced ally to let oz stay.

That night you sat with oz as kai told the story of Jim Jones and what happened after they all drank the koolaid, you knew that story didn't exist  the whole Jesus coming down and kissed Jim's head and everybody was reborn, but what you didn't expect was what oz said, "but i dont think it's true" his little voice echoed making kai stop dead in his tracks.

You knew that was the wrong thing to say, "what?" Kai asked you could hear the anger building in his voice. Oz was on his phone looking up on Wikipedia the kid was smart for his young age. "Wikipedia says he died from a self inflicted gunshot wound, they found him with the other dead people. His body was cremated, his ashes was scattered at sea." Oz read out you swallowed a lump in your throat seeing everyone's eyes on this little kid as he spoke in confidence.

Kai popped an adderall letting oz finish. "So the stuff you said couldn't have happened." He finished you knew something was going to happen. Kai chewed on his adderall his intense glare on oz was so intimidating even for you.

"Hey buddy Wikipedia is fake news" kai said he wasn't completely wrong sure it has its flaws but there was no way kai's version of events is true too.

"I'm the only one you can trust, I'm the only one who knows the truth. I know things" kai continues on pointing to his head. "Things people don't know. Ultimate truths. That's why we're here" everyone chuckled along with kai but you and oz didn't your were fearful of what would happen next.

"And if you start questioning Ultimate truths well where does that get you gutterball?" He asked his follower. Who sat there like a kindergarden child answering the question. "Uh, I'm gonna go with punished" gutterball answered. Kai shook his head in agreement turning back to oz.

"Do you understand now son" kai manipulated it made you stomach churn as he called this kid son you knew oz wasn't his child for a fact. "But it doesn't make sense, why are the families of the people who died there still sad?, it says their still trying to Bury the people they lost" the confusion must be going at it in this little kid's brain you just wished he'd stop questioning kai.

Kai sighed looking at the ground before getting up from his chair strutting over to you and oz. Grabbing his phone from him throwing it to the ground stamping on it repeatedly. "Arhhh" kai's anger got the best of him you held oz closer who was clear scared now.

Kai stopped turning back to you and oz "doubters get no cookies" he said fuming with anger you were angry at kai for scaring oz. You didn't know if it was a natural thing well it was but more so a motherly thing that made you even more angry.

"Put him in time out" kai said to one of his henchmen. The guy who's name you didn't bother with went to grab oz but you stopped him. Oz started to cry. "I'll do it kai I'll put him to bed" you said kai just nodded at you. Taking oz to the spare room that was kai's brothers old room. You tucked him in as he sobbed.

"I'm sorry about him oz he isn't always like that he's just having a bad day" You explained with a lie. "He was so mean" he stuttered in between small sobs. "I know buddy tell you what?" You then said remembering an old song your grandmother used to sing to you when you were upset or couldn't sleep. "What?" He asked as you took his glasses off from his eyes.

"My grandma used to sing me this song when I couldn't sleep wanna hear it?" You asked oz just nodded his head the blonde curls bouncing as he did. "Okay" you smiled.

"Lady left me here, underneath this old oak tree"

"She made me a bed of roots and leafs, with a trembling voice she sung me to sleep"

"Said dream, dream, dream, dream sweet dream"

"Dream, dream, dream, dream sweet dreams"

"Dark was the night cold the ground"

"I heard voices all around, shining stars falling down"

"My little soul is now free and unbound and I dream, dream, dream, dream sweet dreams"

"I dream, dream, dream, dream sweet dreams"

"So if you walk in the woods and you see a big old oak tree"

"Tread carefully please cause I'm dreaming underneath and I dream, dream dream dream sweet dreams"

"And I dream, dream, dream, dream sweet dreams"

"Oh I dream, dream, dream, dream sweet dreams"

You stopped singing oz was now half asleep you knew it would do the trick. A yawn escaped his lips rubbing his little tired eyes. "You have a really nice voice" oz tiredly mumbled before falling asleep. You stepped out the room closing the door.

Kai stood down the hallway at the door of your shared bedroom. "Nice song" he mumbled still sulking at the fact a kid called him out. "My grandma used to sing me it when I couldn't sleep thought it would do the trick" you shrugged entering your shared bedroom.

"You'll be a great mother to our baby" kai smiled coming up from behind you his rough hands on your stomach cradling your non existent bump. His head resting on your shoulder. "I hope so but kai why did you smash oz's phone I know he shouldn't have doubted you but end of the day he's still a kid" you sighed turning your body to face kai.

"I just got angry I didn't mean to scare the kid I promise I would never do that again and I won't do it to our child" kai insisted you smiled before replying. "Oh I know you won't despite this baby being our child I won't allow what happened in that basement happen again to oz or this baby when it's born" batting your eyelashes at him.

Kai didn't say anything he just kept a stern look on his face like usual. "Anyway time for me to get some shut eye" you yawned crawled into bed kai following behind wrapping an arm around you securely.

[thegeminisage]

IT'S TIME FOR. a star trek update. and BOY am i behind. wednesday we watched tng's "frame of mind," friday we watched ds9's "progress" and tng's "suspicions," and last night we watched ds9's "if wishes were horses." i am so thrilled to announce that despite the high amount of episodes including tng episodes i have almost NOTHING to complain about this update. like a little, but not much.

frame of mind (tng):

first of all we must acknowledge this gifset, which according to the timestamp i saw with my eyeballs near the end of january which (and i checked) was right after the episode where picard is like yeah worf should kill himself. IN the course of the episode worf asks riker to assist with his suicide which is both the most horrible and romantic thing that's ever happened with them. so i went into the ship tag. found it most bereft except for this gifset. i have been DYING to know for a MONTH AND A HALF what's going on in this ep. i finally cracked recently and read the summary which only made me more excited.

so. drumroll. DID THE EP DELIVER..............???

yes.

yes, with VERY minor caveats.

i think my only real complaint about this episode is that it was a me problem. like i was picturing some scene where worf tenderly (for him) talks riker down from a fit of madness and also he was the real worf. i built it up too much in my head. that's not what happened. in my mind palace it is. i'm a little tempted to do a rewrite of it to make it happen but i barely have time to breathe so that will remain a wistful thought for now. like, i knew the enterprise setting wasn't real, but regardless of the amount of worf/riker (e deanna) ship content it was just kind of disappointing to learn that the mental facility was ALSO not real because the worf and data that rescued riker were not real and the beverly that snuck in to see him was also not real and his experiences there also weren't "real" in the physical sense, even though he very much did still experience them. very "it was all a dream!" of them

OTHER THAN THAT. i was really into it. i loved everything about it. i loved riker's break from reality. i loved that crazy lady with the spoon. i loved how even data got weirded out at riker's antics. i love that the part of riker that is his feelings is represented by deanna and the part of him that is action is represented by worf WORF E RIKER E DEANNA REAL! i didn't like picard being his logic. spock should be everybody's logic. get that guy outta here

also, what a great touch to have very chill very normal very laid back riker be like yeah if i don't tear this set apart with my bare hands before i sleep i really WILL go crazy 🙃

side var didn't beverly say people were coming to clean it up in the morning...what happened to the ship cleaning itself smh. justice for the invisible janitors and housekeepers of starfleet

also, why did this episode make me slightly into riker and beverly as friends with benefits...the whole trill boyfriend situation adds so much fun complication to that as well depending on a multitude of varying and equally valid interpretations of that event. like, girl, forget picard's two-timing ass. what's he ever done for you except knock you up with an affair baby. join the worf e riker e deanna polycule. they could make better husbands. shit, i could make a better husband. forget him girl! you don't need him

progress (ds9):

holy fucking shit.

this episode BLEW me away. easily a must-see on my spreadsheet, when i (eventually?) catch up. every single thing they do with kira is AMAZING.

the old guy was so instantly likable. he was likable even when he was being sexist BECAUSE he was being sexist specifically to wind kira up because kira was playing bad guy. their chemistry was so good. i was just as worried about him as kira was the whole episode long

what a brilliant way to discuss war, not by showing the violence or the gore or the death but by simply showing us this guy who won't leave his farm and sleeptalks during his nightmares and these other two who can't speak but WILL kill you with pitchforks. like, you have "chain of command" with picard and the four lights and then you have this, and both of them are so important in our understanding of the cardassians and what they do.

sisko was so absolutely kind to kira. like, he outlined her struggle perfectly - she's no longer the underdog, and in some ways that sucks, because she now has no idea how to behave. her morals and her logic and her heart are all telling her different things.

AND LIKE. SISKO. KNEELING DOWN. TO BE EYE TO EYE WITH HER. i cannot possibly express how important that is. HE IS SO GOOD!!!

i'm actually really glad she got teary eyed but DIDN'T cry. we just watched her ugly cry in that episode with kai opaka and i think to do it twice together so soon would have been too much. but it DID need that emotional beat, and they struck the perfect balance.

the through-line of the fucking kiln. every time i saw them building it. wah.

the ending was so shocking and so horrible...actually, my one tiny nitpick with this ep is that there wasn't really the proper setup for it. the air will be poison if those guys tap the moon, but surely the ostensible utopian starfleet is not gonna tap it with even one holdout...? though i guess bajor isn't in starfleet proper? tng often has too MUCH technobabble and exposition but this didn't have quiiite enough - i feel like forcefields or masks or other scifi tech might have solved this problem and i didn't REALLY believe the only two solutions were to let this guy die on the moon or forcibly relocate him, especially when kira brought up a slower way to get the energy they needed - but maybe that's the point, that she ended the fight before it could become one, idk. i also wish he had said "as long as this house is still standing" a little earlier - having him say it right before the end sort of gave away what kira was gonna do before she did it, though i DIDN'T expect her to start with the kiln.

other than though it was so good. it says so much about the nature of the cardassians as a group, and bajorans as a group, and about kira herself.

also, sorry, jacket coming off hot.

suspicions (tng):

THERE WERE SO MANY WOMEN IN THIS EPISODE??? let's count

beverly, and it's a beverly-centric episode

hot klingon lady who threw beverly around like a sack of flour (again: beverly is bicurious)

VERY snooty vulcan lady with the human??? husband????? sorry but doesn't he have a refractory period how do they get BY during pon farr? ok. none of my business. moving on

nurse ogawa who helped commit women's wrongs

guinan, beverly's confidant and pretend tennis elbow haver...

deanna also had a few lines which i'm choosing to count in the spirit of things

also, that green alien guy? long feng from atla.

anyway, i was tickled with this episode. not only because they finally wrote a ferengi who isn't racist, showed another vulcan/human couple, included a bunch of women, AND gave beverly the main role, but also because the mystery was perfectly done. it gave us just enough information to stay interesting, and i figured out long feng faked his own death RIGHT before the reveal - not early enough to bore me but early enough to make me feel smart

i didn't really understand why beverly chose to end ferengi racism in a field that she wasn't even in but i support her so much. also, she got to do an illegal autopsy and steal a fucking shuttle. GOOD for her

again i want to state that this klingon lady TOSSED HER AROUND it was so fucking sexy. get it beverly. i so rarely have so much fun with a tng episode and we got two good ones in a row!!

if wishes were horses (ds9):

this is a sequel to an episode of tos i mostly don't like, "shore leave." tng also had a "shore leave episode" (the one where picard's mom showed up and i think some ensign got spliced into the floor) so we have done "our thoughts manifest as reality" twice now and i assume will continue to do it in every star trek series going forward. so far i have not liked any of these episodes because of the redundant and irrelevant nature of them (oh look! a random tiger!) but ds9's is probably my favorite out of the three

i just feel like you have the potential to get so real and do such character work when thoughts are manifested as reality and instead it's always this crazy shit. i think tng tried to do it with more gravitas, but it's tng and early tng at that, so i've yet to see star trek do one of these successfully and i doubt i ever will.

ANYWAY. number one complaint with this is of course the fake dax. i think it's really funny that she keeps gently but firmly shooting julian down, and while julian is a likable cringefail loser i NEVER saw him as a creep, not even with repeated attempts to ask her out...and then this happened, and it was very touch and go for a second there. i'm glad his instinct was to fight dax when she was compromised, really horrified when he "gave in," and then was extremely relieved when they were interrupted. he tried i guess. i'm gonna try not to hold it against him. if i can forgive geordi i can forgive julian.

we ALMOST got it working right. dax was like you know julian in a way i kind of feel like we invaded YOUR privacy it's not as though you can help having fantasies and they should have been safe in your head which was like. ok great take actually! we are being adults! but then the fake one showed back up and tried to pick a catfight with the real one and SSSSIGH

keiko and o'briens little daughter is SO cute. i mean she is SO fucking adorable. rumpelstiltskin was easily the dumbest part of this episode but that little baby is so adorable it was almost worth it to see her. i also didn't like that obrien didn't immediately say no as a kneejerk reaction to selling his daughter. girl what's wrong with you

i DON'T like that there's no baseball in the future. number one i refuse to believe americans could ever fall out of love with baseball even if it's only in a "let's bring back this vintage game" kind of way and number two it's one of the only sports i kind of like and understand. sisko being a nerd about an ancient dead sport is so funny though. good for him.

THAT SAID. i was kind of hoping sisko would see his dead wife. we got a great little moment where kira imagined an explosion and a guy on fire, which touched on something she probably actually has seen, and it was a fun way to give a stupid and silly concept some gravitas, but when everything got quiet there at the end i was expecting sisko's wife and no, it was just mr baseball again

shoutout also to odo running around with two real live birds on that set, quark fucking the birds after they turned into ladies, and then odo imagining quark in jail. truly a series of events, though given quark offering to make him a changeling lady friend in the holosuite (refreshing that at least in ds9 they acknowledge it as a sex toy), i kind of expected a serious moment with him too where he got his wish unwillingly.

and finally, i had SUCH a hard time following the plot of this episode.

the ending of this...eh. the power of positive thinking got rid of the rift = funny? the power of positive thinking is why a bunch of aliens showed up to wreak havoc = ehhhhh. the closest we came to having that serious moment i wanted was kira's .5 second scene and it JUST wasn't long enough. probably my least favorite ds9 episode yet, if we don't count the one with q, but still not as excruciating as some of tng's duds - it was entertaining enough not to make me hate existing for a single watch.

TONIGHT: tng's "rightful heir" (worf episode???👀) and ds9's "the forsaken" (deeply not looking forward to this...the summary says LWAXANA TROI is supposed to be mencing my best boy odo. please save him please get the tng out of my ds9 please please pleeease)

[acesofspadess]

Beautiful One 2

a/n: send in any request you want to see!

summary: Acelynn Grant; upcoming singer and actress known for her role as Cleo in Outer Banks season 2 and 3 and her EP Beautiful One.......... goes on a date day with Harry

pairing: harry styles x famous!reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

harryflorals

harryflorals harry seen out with Acelynn today in Beverly Hills

hs2 aweee he looks so happy

ace7 i know she was shitting herself

acesbeautifulones

acesbeautifulones Acelynn seen out with Harry today in Beverly Hills… GO GIRL!!!!

ace4 she’s such a baddie

hs2 i see why y’all stan her

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you stepped out of the building, back in your normal clothes, you saw the car harry said he would be in. You figured he saw you as he stepped out the drivers side of his Ferrari and met you half way.

“Hi.” he seemed almost out of breath before he was pulling you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him fully and you swayed back and forth for a few before you both let go and walked with you to car.

“How were you’re interviews? For season 3 right?”

You looked at him from the passenger side a little shocked. “They were as good as they could be… how did you know what they for?” it was a stupid question. A lot of people knew who you were, but you really didn’t expect him to.

“Did you expect me to come on our date unprepared?” He missed the way you cocked your head to the side at his words, “Besides, a friend of mine played me your album. Grammy nominated isn’t it?”

You watched the smirk on face form when he looked at you. You shook your head with a laugh and nodded. “It surprisingly is, yes. And date?” his eyes-behind sunglasses- met yours as you pulled to a red light. He took the hand that was on the centre console and laced it with his. "I think youre really pretty Ace, and I know it sounds shallow of me to say that but, based on the short research and interviews and way you treat my fans I can't help but be attracted to you and want to know more about you." he had started driving again but he looked at you ever so often to show you what he was saying was true.

You squeezed his hand back and he smiled. "I don't think its shallow Haza," you came up with a nickname on the spot and you felt him squeeze your hand as you said it. "And I think its very clear im attracted to you and want to know the realest you." You knew he picked up on your wording as he looked at you again before parking the car and getting out making sure you were still buckled in so he could open the door.

"Such a gentlemen." You both laughed at the hidden message and he led you out the car park and into an outdoor shopping mall. You walked around and in and out of stores only bumping into a few fans when you grabbed a bite to eat.

"Oh Harry can we go in. Please?" it was a Gucci store and you knew he probably owned the whole store. He chuckled softly at your begging as he held the door open for you. It wasn't crowded in there which you expected.

Harry followed you around the store as you looked at the bags but your eyes immediately took you over the jewellery. "See something you like?" it was the man Harry had stopped and chatted to when you first walked in. Harry was looking from over your shoulder and you looked up at him. "I think this chain is nice. Simple but still me. And this ring, Ill probably get the ring though. Save the chain for another time." He nodded silently at you and you watched as he made eye contact with the person the man. You watched the man walk away to the back and you looked at Harry. "What did you just do?"

He just shook his head with a simple shoulder shrug. "I didn't even say anything." You hit his shoulder as he started to laugh. "That's the kind of power you hold Harry." You poked at him until he pointed with his free arm to the man who had come back with the ring and something else in a bag. "Here is the ring ma'am." you watched as he opened the box and placed the ring in your hand for you to slip on your self. You placed it on your left middle finger over the sunflower tattoo and marvelled at the fit and perfection that was the ring.

You payed for it at a different station and saw Harry select something and pay for it at a different station. "I did know you were buying something." you watched as he took your small bag and carried it for you. "I didn't either." and that was all he said on the matter while flashing you his signature smile.

You sang along to the songs that played on the radio softly, missing the way Harry looked at you. "Do you want to come in?" you were both standing in the lobby of your apartment. He nodded shyly and you took his hand before walking into the elevator. he squeezed your hand and layed his head on your shoulder. You felt the heat from his body on yours and smiled placing your head on his.

When you arrived on your floor you walked straight head to the one of two doors on the floor. "welcome to my temporary abode." you said flinging your hands in the air nearly missing Harry's face.

It was relatively plain considering you'd only be here for a few more months. "Temporary?" harry asked slipping his shoes off before plopping down on the couch next to you. "yeah im only going to be here until the Grammy's. Then im permanently moving from LA." you noted that he had brought in both bags, probably security reasons- you thought. "And where are you moving?" he had turn to lay along you and you ran your hands through his hair. "across the pond." he hummed a small laugh knowing what you meant.

"I feel like I was meant to be here." you whispered so softly if harry didn't feel the rumble of your voice he wouldn't have known you said anything. "Here in LA?" you chuckled softly as his accent was strong with sleep. "Here with you. It feels so right." he snuggled in closer to you before looking up at you.

"are you going to anymore shows?" you grazed his cheeks with your thumb softly. "I don't think so. I have to prep for grammy's and still have press for OBX. Theres talk about a summer tour. Lots to do." you saw his eyes deflate and you wanted to take back everything you said. "well if I won't see you for the foreseeable future, please let me do this." he propped himself up on his arms before his forehead was connecting with yours. he let one hand fall to your cheek and you placed yours back on his cheeks before pulling him, lips connecting with his.

You both couldn't help the smiles that broke your kiss. You didn't have to say anything to each other. Just looking at each other was enough. "I know you have an early flight tomorrow, I don't want to keep you- well I do- you know what I mean." you watched him giggle before pressing another kiss to your lips. "I do. I haven't even packed yet." you shook your head at him as he got up.

He pulled the bags closer to you both before taking out a rectangular box and opening it. Inside the necklace you saw at the store. "Harry you did not." you covered your cheeks with your hands in shock. "I didn't know when I was going to see you again and I wanted to get you this to remember our first date." you softly wrapped your arms around him and he kissed your forehead.

"let me put it on for you." you turned around and lifted your hair up so that he could clip it. you both sat, just basking in each other. It was eventually time for him to go so you were now standing wrapped in each other at your door. "I don't want you to go. Its been half a day and I already feel like we've known each other forever." he place his forehead on yours, something he did a lot. "I don't want to go either. You've made me feel things today that I didn't know were possible. Ill try to talk to you every day. But I-" he cut himself off squeezing his eyes shut and an angry puff slipped past his lips. "Harry, I understand, you are a very busy person, and I will be too. Im not ever going to get mad at you if you can't reach out to me constantly. All I ask Is that you check in with me at least once a day. Need to know if your alive." he smiled sadly and you kissed his pout.

He kissed you back again and again, separating before things went further. "Bye Haza" you sighed as his fingers left yours. "Not goodbye, see you later."

"See you later."

[l0velyblu3]

Distant (R.T. x Reader) Pt.2

Pairing: Richie Tozier x GN! Reader

Summary: You and Richie had an argument, a huge one. It was so bad it had you questioning where your relationship stood, so you ask a friend for help to see if she can give you an idea on how to fix the situation.

Warnings: Swearing? that's really it, if there are any more, please feel free to tell me :)

Requested: Yes and No

Word Count: 1239 words

It had been three weeks, almost a month since the argument between you and Richie. Nothing has happened between you two, not counting the awkward accidental glances at each other in the school halls. It felt weird not being around Richie, you spent all of your time with him and the friend group, but they haven't said anything to you. They don't have any idea what happened to you, they've caught the hint that something has been fishy between the two of you, but they don't give two fucks to dig deep into it. However, since you've been kinda lonely in the past few weeks, you've had a lot of time to yourself to think about your current situation. Are you and Richie still dating? Are you over? Either way, you're not sure if you really want to find out because even though Richie is notorious for being an ass hat, you still love him and genuinely don't want to end things with him, not like this at least. You want to fix it, but you don't know how.

You look around your room and at the pictures and souvenirs you've accumulated over the years from friends and adventures when eventually your line of sight falls on a particular redhead with short hair, the only other girl in the school who isn't a complete snake. You reached over to grab the phone on your nightstand and dialed her number. Within two rings a familiar voice reaches your ears.

"Hello, Beverly Marsh speaking."

"Hey Bev, it's y/n." you say timidly.

"Hey y/n!! What's up?" she asks.

"I was wondering if you wanted to meet up at the downtown diner and hang out? I want to talk to you about something, if that's alright with you," you say that last few words scaredly. No matter how many deep talks you've had with Bev, you always are hesitant.

"Yeah, of course, is everything alright?" you pause for a few seconds.

"Not really? I don't know." you sigh.

"That's okay, let's meet up soon. How does 1:00pm sound?" you immediately say yes, and hang up the phone. Filled with nerves to talk, but also excited to see Bev.

Bev immediately agreeing to meet up with you made you feel relieved. Not having had a girls' day in a while really takes a toll on someone, especially if you hang around with boys who compare their loogie sizes. Since you both agreed to meet up at the town diner, you decide to share a milkshake and a basket of fries while you talked.

"So how come I never see you around anymore? Especially without Richie? I haven't seen you guys together in a hot second." She stated while grabbing a few fries from the basket placed in the middle of the table.

You roll over the words and what to say to her, "Richie and I haven't really been great lately." You say, slowly making eye contact with her.

"I mean yeah, I kinda got that much. Richie won't stop running his mouth about what happened, he never actually says anything, just that he fucked up." She chuckled while taking a sip of the chocolate milkshake, humming at the taste of it.

You process the words she had said, if he had felt so bad, why hadn't he said anything? You knew Richie wasn't the best with confrontation and his emotions so it didn't surprise you. You sigh, grabbing a few fries from the basket yourself, eating them one by one and slowly.

"Hey, you okay?" Bev asks, snapping you out of your thoughts, "thinking" you say, still not looking at her, "I noticed that much girl, what happened between the two of you?" She asked. You mulled it over, thinking if you should tell her, but decided to. She's your best friend that you've been close with since you were five years old in kindergarten, and besides, you need to vent a little bit.

"Richie had been neglecting me for a few weeks, and knowing him, that is unusual, I mean, when was the last time you saw the man not holding my hands, my waist, holding me, the point is, the man is clingy, so I went to visit him, see if everything was alright. Spoiler alert, it wasn't. I went to his house and when he greeted me at the door he was very cold, and not like his usual self, but he let me in any way. I went to his room, he followed me there, and that's when all hell broke loose, I confronted him about it, and he yelled at me, called me a damn crybaby, and told me to fucking leave. Without an apology or an explanation. And now, we haven't talked in weeks and I'm scared because I literally don't know what our relationship is, and to be honest, it scares me, so I was hoping you could help me, give me an idea, just give me the damn balls to say something." You say the last sentence with a single breath, inhaling deeply when you're done.

Bev just sat there with her eyes wide, but her head on her hands, listening to every word coming out of your mouth. "I'm sorry Y/N, I truly am, I figured something was up but I didn't really think how fucked up it was. I'll be honest, I won't get in the middle of the both of you since this is your relationship and you guys are my best friends, but I'm not taking sides even though from the sound of it Richie was an absolute dick, still, my point stands." you let out a sigh, feeling tears brim in your eyes but Bev reached over and wiped them, then grabbed your hands and held yours in hers, "However, I'm gonna give you encouragement. That man loves you to the end of the earth, so I also suggest talking to him about what caused him to be so distant. You guys love each other and I truly believe you guys belong with each other, so go see him. Meet him somewhere, bike to his house, just talk to him please Y/N, because I don't think you guys or the group can take it, so please Y/N." Bev was practically begging and giving you puppy eyes and a pouty lip, squeezing your hands over and over again. You sigh and lean back in your seat, still holding her hands, "Thank you, Bev, seriously." you give her hand one last squeeze, and she squeezes your hand tightly. You exit the booth, making sure to leave her some money so she can pay for the meal, and leave the diner, hopping onto your bike and pedaling to your house to create a plan, making a plan for your and Richie's sake.

[thewickedbohemian]

Thoughts on SHMT and Elsbeth now that they're a "double act" for what I hope will be the first of many seasons to come

So Help Me Todd

Love the life imitates art opening with Beauty Secrets Murder

Susan gorgeous as usual but almost unrecognizably so, and what's she doing hanging out with Beverly

Speaking of unexpected guests hello again very-gay-seeming weatherman

Of course that's Lyle's mom and I sense a bit of a parallel here

Love the color-coding-clothing with Jacqueline in bright red and Margaret in pale blue

THANK YOU SOMEONE SAID IT ABOUT LYLE'S DAMN MUSTACHE!

Lyle having musical talent, not as surprising as you'd think

Okay and now the photoshoot, Susan's too good a girl to get Sansa Starked like that

It's not just a parallel, it's a Leonard-Sheldon situation where Lyle and Todd are similar-vibed to each other's mothers (Todd and Jacqueline both have kind of an ego and a tendency to treat life like they're living some dramatic story)

Speaking of the story-awareness stuff not Jacqueline not only looking to the camera when talking about story structure but making ghost jokes when Ghosts is SHMT's lead-in and Allison's hair makes her look like Sam

I don't know what you'd call that trope with everyone's accounts of the situation cutting back and forth but adding to each other's sentences but I saw some post praising it and here it is here.

Still would love a musical episode but of course Lyle played the cello

second episode out of the five-so-far-this-season with Phantom Of The Opera vibes and not just because actual opera this time

nice meta-self-burn Todd

In both what's left of this season and a *crosses fingers* potential S3 there's two ways Susan's arc could go and I know which one I'd prefer

Margaret seems to have learned her lesson from Jacqueline and Magda with treating her assistant nicely

And Allison continues to be fucking relatable

Elsbeth

Hello Dolly meet hello high-maintenance

most blinding diamond I've ever seen or is that just the lighting

Not two time-jumps before we even get to the actual story story

Okay so "let's go steal a husband" (and murder him apparently)

Stimming with a Newton's Cradle, could they make it any more obvious she's neurodivergent

Good call on the rug there girl

Does everyone rich (at least in that area) just have their houses half windows

show tune needle drop, now that's something you don't see every day

not Elsbeth sounding like Flynn talking about liking certain words or w/e

I know she's the bad guy but please tell me Margo wasn't being ableist calling Elsbeth simple

The way both these shows just have Divas^TM with Standards^TM (Elsbeth made it look cute, Lainey didn't have to call her office a jail cell)

So they've finally figured out what the audience already knew about Margo (and kinda insulted people from Jersey along with it)

Was Kaia really picking up on Elsbeth's Clue references to call her Mrs. Peacock or did I misread the social context

OK so the digital window thingie also works as a viewscreen

You faked a man's identity I [as in her] faked a hair color we are not the same

Get got by a knockoff bitch

So Elsbeth and Kaia actually are "gala gals" after all (and both in equally quirky dresses) and not saying I'd ship them age gap yada yada and girls can be just friends but that whole you came moment did feel a little ship-coded (as well as Elsbeth being her Manic Pixie Dream Girl basically)

Ooo mythology oh boy Captain Wagner getting wise and making me fear for the show's future

[mlobsters]

supernatural s10e6 ask jeeves (w. eric charmelo, nicole snyder)

i looked her up because she reminds me of tissea from the witcher (spoiler alert looking her up apparently, i've been [sadly] bored to tears with s3 so i haven't finished it) but she was in coyote ugly! so i did recognize her. ish

s10e6 / coyote ugly - izabella miko as cammie / the witcher - myanna buring as tissaia

we got an spn / xfiles / the magicians / the killing actor! 🎉

and he was in the tooms episode of the x-files! (along with two others). and he was the faith healer in spn s1e12 faith, didn't recognize him at all with the sunglasses

the x-files s1e3 squeeze - kevin mcnulty as agent fuller / the magicians s2e1 km as knight of crowns / the killing s1e13 km as gas station manager

saw a gifset of this recently and spent plenty of time staring and rolling my eyes then. also, toxic masculinity/machismo is very much an issue in the culture but hello cuban coffee colada which comes with the ittiest bittiest cups (think basically creamer cups) for sharing. *pining for miami*

making my 😒 face at dean/writers right now

DEAN Bobby had secrets, man. Like loving on Tori Spelling. If he only knew Dean cheated on her.

cue my brain trying to dig up an old memory of 90210 character names

but no, apparently, her actual spouse Dean McDermott (m. 2006). dean knows this? i can't predict what pop culture stuff dean might know or not. (like interweb?) and like last episode where he didn't know who calliope was, yet he's supposedly read the odyssey?

from s4e14 sex and violence (my recap)

DEAN Like Greek myth siren, The Odyssey? ...Hey, I read!

just say no to dumbing down dean winchester.

also i don't think it's necessarily just sam's haircut that's so odd in this season, but it looks like it's getting blown out too. weird. it's normalish for his look in the front but very ~done~ in the back at times

just say yes to shutting up and watching, nic

s10e6 as heddy / new girl - gillian vigman as kim (schmidt's boss)

but there's more people i recognize 🥲 this is going to take forever. feels very... Clue-like

she calls them adorable, dean engages flirt-mode, sam makes a face. however! for what it's worth! i appreciate that as he's gotten older the rando side character women he flirts with are also regularly around his age or older

BEVERLY Oh but you’re welcome to spend the night. All the rooms sleep two.

HEDDY [slaps Dean’s butt] Or three.

i... okay. mad at the insinuation that sam and dean are sleeping together (?? do they know they're brothers or assuming married?? this show.), but happy about the butt slap/threesome offer?

DEAN You stay here. Keep an eye on Mrs. Peacock and Colonel Mustard. I’ll sniff around.

okay then. Clue it is

DASH Well Sam, I’ll let you in on a little family secret. We don’t really like each other. Then again, what family does? SAM Mine does. Uh, for the most part. It’s just my brother and me, so…

this is how the show has a chokehold on me. just when my commitment to watching every episode wavers, they're like oh but would you like to hear about how much sam and dean looove each other 🥺🥹

maybe toss sam a text before you go into the secret room

cute

is this all just an elaborate ad? lol

look at sam, sending a text to dean about the dude being dead. good job guys

HEDDY Did you see how long his fingers his fingers were? SAM There…there’s just. HEDDY First of all, did you see this? Look how long…

and then at this point in the screenshot she's saying 9 inches?? whaaat is happening

did someone get a ruler out. and measured his..... hand

this episode is a lot

HEDDY I knew those boys were trailer trash the moment they rolled up in that American-made. BEVERLY Not to mention homosexuals. HEDDY Ugh. Homosexual murderers. Like Leopold and Loeb.

guess we're just gonna ignore they're brothers now.

‘Scream’ Screenwriter Kevin Williamson Confirms Billy and Stu’s Queer-Coded Relationship Was Based on Real Gay Killers - huh, well thanks for leading me to that, wikipedia article on leopold and loeb!

DASH Then where have you been hiding all these years? OLIVIA The attic. AMBER Like in the movie.

Reference to Flowers in the Attic, which is a story about children born of an incestuous relationship, who are hidden away in the attic of a wealthy relative

i was trying to think of what it could be referring to that wasn't flowers in the attic because hello incest reference, but okay

SAM I mean….all those extra shots after the shifter was already dead. What was that? DEAN I don’t know. Target practice? SAM Come on, man. I’m serious. You sure it wasn’t….I don’t know, demon residue or something to do with the Mark, or...

demon residue made me laugh

dean getting defensive and weird, i'm sure he's fine

LOL all right (wiki)

Shortly before the episode aired, in November 2014, a Supernatural version of Clue was released.

what an odd episode.

[diesoonandsuffer]

my thoughts on star trek: nemesis

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

:(

i knew data was going to die but i still wasn't happy about seeing it. it's funny i was thinking to myself "how can they kill him in a permanent way? he'll probably have to explode" and. well he surely did.

let's put that to the side for the moment. in terms of the movie itself, it definitely had high stakes, it didn't feel like an episode of tng the way the 1st and 3rd movies did. obviously destroying all of earth vs one colony of people are higher stakes but i also mean in terms of the pacing, the music, the mood, etc. i found tom hardy.......sort of interesting? i had to adjust to both his voice and looks since i've never seen him look like a bald twink and speak with anything other than a gruff voice so that took a lot of adjusting lol. but his character would interest me at times and bore me at others. i liked his line "you won't live to see the echo defeat the voice" and at the end when he purposefully pulled the sword or whatever further through his body so he could look picard in the eye as he died. but then he would do boring villain stuff or sexually assault troi and i would be like ok what are we doing here.

also really? fucking sexually assaulting troi AGAIN?! tng writers get a job stay away from her. literally any time a non-cast member man is near her i feel fear. and i know they tried to do the whole her taking back her power thing with the mind connection to the viceroy but girl it is not the serve you thought it was. however i can't deny i loved seeing her in the classic trek/noir "light over the eyes" i'm shocked they haven't done it for her sooner since she has the black betazoid eyes. but anyway that shit pissed me off.

other than that troi scene pretty much anyone who isn't picard or data is irrelevant to this movie. you could replace worf with a regular security agent and almost nothing would change, beverly could just be any doctor and riker is mostly relevant to the few scenes with troi, which as we've discussed i don't like. i did enjoy seeing their wedding at the beginning and i liked picard's speech, but seeing them get married reminded me of how quickly they got back together in insurrection and then i got mad again lol. society if i had the time to rewrite their plot in insurrection for a fic. but that's besides the point.

i can't really think of anything else to talk about other than data's death. like i mentioned i knew he was going to die in this but i didn't know how or why, however early on in the film it was easy to figure out that he was going to sacrifice himself. it's a little odd that the movie was like here have his stupider younger brother as a glimmer of hope or something even though data himself is like yeah that guy isn't me even if he has my memories. so what was the point of that?

i think the part of data's death that made me the saddest was when riker comes back to the bridge and troi runs over and embraces him. you see geordi look at them with this smile but it's full of sadness, and then his face falls and he looks back at the explosion debris. why did they linger on that. i could literally feel geordi thinking that the person he wanted to be with forever just got fucking exploded. it was so clearly that emotion and i don't know what they were trying to convey otherwise but they failed. literally they should have filmed geordi kissing the android just once like they deserved it!

also side note so funny how they finally completely gave up on the emotion chip. no mention of it and data makes a comment on having no emotions. they could have said oh he left it behind so b-4 can have it but they didn't even do that. goes to show how stupid of an idea it was.

[edit: oh my god who is going to take care of spot. i just thought of that and got so sad. i guess b-4 could and spot might not be able to tell the difference but that android is not equipped to take care of an animal i don't think. WHO TAKES CARE OF SPOT. if this is ever answered please let me know.]

but that's that i suppose! overall i think i like the tos movies more than the tng ones, at least the first four compared to these four. the tng movies are definitely better than the last two tos movies. they might be better movies overall just from a technical standpoint but i think the tos movies are more rewatchable. i think the only tng movie i would rewatch is first contact, and even then i have no active desire to at the moment. however not every trek movie can be the search for spock so i have to be realistic. it is crazy to think there are no trek movies left for me to watch since i've seen the aos movies already. i liked having them for me at the end of the show, so it'll be sad whenever i finish ds9 and there will be no movies for me to watch. they added a gravitas to their original shows that made everything feel fuller and dynamic, and elevated it beyond what the tv format ever could. i think the first tng movie is the best example of this, i loved seeing the tng set through a movie. but, that's that!

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

Watching Star Trek: Picard s3 ep3, Seventeen Seconds

The show just started and then this popped onto my screen

I'm cackling because the Titan is being attacked 😂

"This is your fault!" Dude, while not completely wrong it's still a bad idea to say this to the admiral's son😂

"Jack don't!" Oh she's 100% his mom😂

"They're gonna need us." I love Beverly so much I'm so intrigued by her storyline this season 👀

Before? BEFORE WHAT?

Oh *grabs chest* the day Thad was born? It hurts so much knowing that he dies😭

Oh no, was baby Thad sick too?😭

"I thought I was losing him. My unborn son." WHY 😭

"His whole future flashed before my eyes." Shit, his future didn't last long😭

"I hope one day you get to have this feeling too." Well, he didn't specify when exactly 😂

I'm right there with Deanna, I too would be so pissed if my husband left to go get drinks when we have a newborn😂

"They should study him for science." 😂

It's so funny to me that Shaw sent two people to watch their back😂

"Electrical and biological signatures."

"Well, that's fun. Anyone else wanna throw some weird shit at me?" I don't like him, but boy does he have some great lines😂

SEVEN! I RECOGNIZE THAT HAND ANYWHERE! That music is so chill

She is so bored😂

OH MY GOD, IT'S LA FORGE CHECKING ON HER

"This sounds rehearsed." Probably is😂

Seven's eyes are watering 😭

"Shaw may call you insubordinate for helping yours, but my dad wouldn't."

"Thank you." 😭🥺 "Go rest, Ensign."

"Yes Commander Seven." I love this girl🥺

Beverly is back in sickbay!😂 I love how fast Jack jumped in when the Doctor pushed Beverly back slightly, he's totally a Mama's boy and I love it

The smirk that Jack and Beverly shared is so great 😂

OH MY GOD IT'S RIKER AND PICARD

"Nothing she has to say can't be said in front of me."😂 My boy, what if she wants to take to your papa about the time they got it on? That's an image no one wants to picture their parents in😂

The way Beverly and Picard are standing on opposite sides of the room really shows how they have so much distance between them not just physically but mentally as well

The staring 😭

Oh my god, Picard didn't know he would never seen Beverly again? I have chills

They ended their romantic relationship for the fifth time😂

"Well,I got pregnant that night." OH MY GOD

Oh, Picard got kidnapped and that's why she didn't tell him😭

"It will be like that forever. It will be what it always was, attempts on your life."

"And you never thought if you'd have told me, it might have been different?"

"Jean-Luc, when the galaxy comes calling you, you are not put upon by it, you love it. Don't tell me you would've walked away."

I get why Beverly did what she did since Picard always went on about not wanting a family, but I agree with Picard in that she should've told him.

"I know now that I could've never been my father. But I could have learned that 20 years before." 😭

"When Jack was on his way, I was terrified. All I knew, was that if you're the son of Jean-Luc Picard, there's a target on your back. I lost my parents, then a husband, then my son Wesley, all to the same stars that own you."

"As a mother your whole being is about protecting your child. I- I thought I could protect mine. I didn't know, if I could protect yours." 😭😭😭😭

"I don't know much about you." Riker looks so sad😭

"Sometimes my mother- she'd start telling a story about all of you. And her eyes would light up. And then she'd get sad, and stop."😭

"I spent two decades in a spaceship watching you get cooked up before you were born. "😂 This is kinda scarring dude😂

"Have you got a family, Riker?"

"Feel free to call me Captain. And yes, I have a wife and a daughter. And I had a son." OOOF THIS SHIT HURTS😭

The way that Beverly and her son help people on worlds Starfleet has forgotten makes so so happy but so sad cause FUCK YOU STARFLEET

So many families are torn apart

Jack was jumped on by Fenris Rangers?! I feel like Seven might have words with these guys

"You are the only one I can trust."

Oh my god, the way that Beverly suspects that it doesn't have anything to do with Jack but has everything to do with Picard 👀👀👀

"Didn't I deserve a chance? Didn't he deserve a chance to get to know me?"

"When he was old enough I told him who you were and where to find you. I encouraged him to meet with you. He decided not to." 😭

That look Riker gave Jack 😭😂

"Immaterial? That's your son." Oh fuck, this has Riker in his feelings because he probably wishes so much that he'd get to talk to his own son again and here Picard is not even trying

"Moments with your kids, you never know what you might regret. God knows..." Ow😭😭

"It's irreparable." BULLSHIT

OOooo, the ships been hit, I hope that Shaw's dead😁 oh fuck he's still alive

"You got us into this, you're gonna get his out." 😂 YAY

Picard is Riker's Number One 😂 and I feel like that fits both this and how he has the tendency to prioritize Picard

Raffi!

The way that Worf is just exercising while Raffi is unconscious 😂

Raffi's boots are *chefs kiss*

"I am Worf, son Mogh, House of Martok, Son of Sergey, House of Rozhenko, bane to the Duras family, slayer of Gowron. I have made some chamomile tea, do you take suger?" The delivery of this is ✨ Perfection ✨

Raffi's in full blown fangirl mode😂

Worf's been working on himself 😂

The way he said it wasn't Raffi's time to join the dead😭

Her reaction to Worf being her handler is so great like YASSS GIRL BE ANGRY AT HIM

"Why do I do this? My life, my family, my sobriety. What is wrong with me."😭😭😭

"You have the heart of a warrior." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

"You have served me well." WTF DUDE

"You and I will track this individual together. And then we will find out who stole those weapons, learn the next phase of their plan and stop them." That's better

Raffi: 😏"Cool."

She's out here getting to hunt bad people with an idol of hers, but it totally proves never meet your heroes cause you'll be disappointed

I love how ruler is saying he's open to Picard's input, but you can totally tell he is annoyed with him still

The way that both Beverly and Jack are helping treat the patient's just makes me so happy

(about blood) "We've got plenty." Kinda concerning but ok

YEAH SHAW'S DYING!

Damn, Beverly's saving him

Interesting how he's repeating the same thing to Jack 🤔

IT'S THE BLOOD! THAT'S HOW SHE'S FINDING THEM? CHANGELING? MAYBE?

SEVEN? IS JACK GOING TO SEVEN?! Oh, nope, just trying to reach the bridge

Riker is really looking at Picard differently now🤔 like he's lost of respect for him

RAFFI'S BACK

"It is not warrior gear. It is casual."

"Seriously, where do you wear that, to a Tuesday beheading?" This is golden

Aww, she still doesn't feel well :(

"Beheadings are on Wednesday's." 😂

Aw Seven is still in lockdown

JACK? They know each other?!

Oh no they didn't

"You're insane." She says that with some respect in her voice 😂

She kicked the guy's foot😂

Someone sabotaged the ship!

"We gave a saboteur." No shit Sherlock

I personally don't trust the Vulcan who keeps advising them, she seems a bit sketchy

The way that Riker say's he's taking the ship home has me thinking that he's thinking about his family

IT'S THAT GUARD DUDE!

Wtf is going on?

Oh shit, Jack's mask is off and he's down, Beverly is gonna flip

"I'm having a real hard time balancing the whole work/life thing." Same Raffi, same

Oh my god, she just threatened to pull out the guy's fingernails 🫣

"You may keep your fingernails. We know that those deaths were not your fault."

Wait did Worf used to shove a sword up people's asses? Cause it seems like that's what Raffi was gonna say

"I am wiser now. I was once like her. Irrational, violent." Oh my god, he's lecturing Raffi

"I think I feel my chamomile tea coming back up."😂

Oh the guy's in withdrawal 👀

Oh Raffi is kinda scary rn🫣

WTF SEVEN? PLS DON'T MAKE HER A VILLAIN

The way that Seven knew to contact Picard that his son was injured 🥺

Riker's face when he says "Go."

"Oh he's fading." She sounds so upset 😭

The way that it's taking Seventeen seconds for the lift to get to sickbay 😭👀

Nooooo Jack! The way that Beverly is trying to get his heart started 😭

Noooooo

JACK'S DEAD😭 I HATE EVERYTHING

Oh wait

False alarm

He's alive

The lil relieved smiles that Beverly and Picard share😭🥺 so precious

Did they steal MORIARTY'S PROGRAM?

Holy shit

A CHANGELING?!

"Fearful of loss?" yeah this isn't gonna be good

"Sit down admiral, I'm the Captain of this ship."

IS RIKER A CHANGELING?!!!!!!

"What is happening?" Same Raffi

Holy shit!

Oh my god, Odo contacted Worf🥺

"You and I Raffaela, are now partners." HOLY SHIT

Oh my god, the ship is damaged 👀

"Will."

Riker's face😭 he's probably thinking about how Deanna probably told him not to go and that she was right

"You've just killed us all."

Riker looks like he's barely keeping it together 🥺

I'm sorry I ever doubted you my boy😭

Hey it was directed by Jonathan Frakes!

I'm off to go scream into my pillow now as I wait for Thursday to arrive.😁

[montdargent]

mid-year book freak out tag

thank you @pinkasrenzo for tagging me (? maybe accidentally? was it just a mention who knows)

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2023? The wee free men, by Terry Pratchett: witches, scottish fairies and a coming of age story set in the discworld universe. what's not to like? officially my new favourite discworld series

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2023? A hat full of sky, by Terry Pratchett: these are just excuses to talk about the tiffany aching series tbh. also granny weatherwax is back, so that's easy money

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? Deadly ever after (Rivers of London graphic novels), by Ben Aaronovitch: the rivers of london novels, novellas and short stories are not enough. i need to inhale these graphic novels too. i can't wait for chaotic river goddess twins shanenigans!

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2023? The deep sky, by Yume Kitasei: not many anticipated releases for that time, but it was reccomanded to me and the synopsis sounds right up my alley

5. Biggest Disappointment? Leave the world behind, by Rumaan Alam: a cool premise but incredibly boring execution and not my preferred writing style. a disappointment mostly because it was so amped up

6. Biggest Surprise? No exit, by Taylor Adams: i'm not usually into thrillers, so i didn't have particularly high expectations. but it was really good at building tension, delivered a satisfying ending and had a badass final girl that was easy to root for

7. Favorite New Author? Alison Bechdel: read "Fun home" because a friend of mine wanted to show me the musical and fell in love with it. i can already tell why her works are considered queer classics and i plan to read everything i can find by her

8. Newest Favorite Character? Tiffany Aching: see point 2. most children protagonists fall a bit flat for me or they have at least a couple of moments where their actions or internal monologue feel just unauthentic. and then an adult british cis man writes a smart, lonely, strange little girl and he makes me feel like he knew my child-self better than most family members. and that's why i love terry pratchett (among many things) and why i would die and kill for tiffany aching. she is the one true heir of esme weatherwax and i can't wait to read more of her

9. Newest Fictional Crush? Jordan Baker (from The chosen and the beautiful by Nghi Vo): what can i say, i could never resist a bisexual brunette who was too smart for anyone's good and falls a bit in love with everyone <3

💕Best Ship💕 Blue/Hamal (from Taproot by Keezy Young): just some cute friends-to-lovers fluff with plants and ghosts. honourable mentions are: the extremely toxic polycule from tcatb. that's for new ships, but i have to mention peter/beverly: they're still the best power couple in the greater metropolitan london area (i know i cheated and said three but i can't choose)

10. Book That Made You Cry? I'm glad my mom died, by Jeanette McCurdy: a very tough read, especially with the audiobook narrated by the author herself with all the emotion she puts into the reading. not for the faint of heart, but the pain is absolutely worth it

11. Book That Made You Happy? The fey and the furious (Rivers of London graphic novels) by Ben Aaronovitch: it's a comic version of a series i love, about fairies and drag racing. the pun in the title! i was smiling ear to ear the whole time

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? Nimona (2023): i just finsihed rewatching it and i will do it again. i was obsessed with the gn at 18 and i'm obsessed with the movie now. between this and she-ra nd stevenson just owns my ass at this point. even with all the changes from the original, it still captures the spirit of it beautifully, with all the added layers of how the author changed and grew since then. i love it with my whole queer heart <3

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? i don't write reviews anymore, but maybe i should start again just for myself

14. Most Beautiful Cover? The priory of the orange tree, by Samantha Shannon: colour scheme? on point. lettering? beautiful. a dragon? fuck yeah

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? ideally i'll complete my reading challenge, but for now i just hope i finish the ones i already started, so "One hundred years of solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez "Cemetery boys" by Aiden Thomas and "Circe" by Madeline Miller

[ilyasorokinn]

I posted 3,145 times in 2022

1,907 posts created (61%)

1,238 posts reblogged (39%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ilyasorokinn

@2manytabsopen

@rosesvioletshardy

@alextturcotte

@comphyjost

I tagged 3,021 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#taylor speaks - 637 posts

#mama i love him - 551 posts

#taylor answers - 535 posts

#ask taylor - 532 posts

#beverly hills 90 queue 10 - 464 posts

#nhl - 376 posts

#hockey - 373 posts

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#hockey imagine - 313 posts

#hockey imagines - 306 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also was totally planning on writing something for lunar new year but things got a bit hectic so maybe in a few days something’ll come out?

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

family man , tyler seguin

note, how did i come up with this idea? i got a tiktok on my fyp, an edit of ty from his gq interview. we all know the one. anyway, this fic is part of the "the seguin squad" series. check out this masterlist for more. pair, tyler seguin x reader summary, the five times tyler gushed about his family to the media. warnings, children/kids, mentions of murder (jokingly) word count, 2098 words

(gif not mine)

Tyler was a proud guy and he loved talking about his family at any chance he could. If prompted, he would proceed to gush, and even un-prompted he would gush about you and Rosie.

one. postgame, september 2017

Tyler was getting ready to leave for the arena. He really want to have you there with him but Rosie was still too small, so you settled for watching it on TV.

He kept, longingly, looking back at you and Rosie as he tied his tie, "Stop. Just get ready." You laughed, throwing something at him.

"Hey, violence!" He shouted.

You shook your head as you rocked Rosie. He eventually was ready and opened his arms. You placed Rosie in his arms and he smiled, "Goodbye, Roro. Be good for mom. Promise?"

He held out his pinky, which Rosie wrapped her tiny little hand around, "Good." He smiled and kissed her head.

He stared down at her for a few more minutes, not wanting to leave or let go, "You gotta go, Ty."

"No." He shook his head, "Wanna stay."

"I know." You frowned, "But you have you." He sighed but relented.

He grabbed his stuff and you followed him to the door. He slung his bag over his shoulder and turned around you both and looked so sad you almost didn't want to send him away.

"We love you." You told him, leaning up and kissing his cheek.

"Love you, too." He kissed you. He then leaned down and kissed Rosie's head, "And I love you, too, sweet girl."

You watched from the comfort of your couch, dogs laying all around you, sporting your Seguin jerseys, Rosie wearing one of her own but it being a little too big on her.

"Stars Fans, this summer, our very own Tyler Seguin and his girlfriend Y/N welcomed a new family member to their clan. Please put your hands together and welcome Rosie to the Stars family." The arena erupted in cheers, from both sides.

You smiled, moving Rosie so she could see the screen. On the jumbotron, a photo taken after Rosie was born flashed up onto the big screen. It was after you got home from the hospital. His mom had taken it.

The camera flashed down to Tyler who flashed a teary smile to the fans. He nodded appreciatively and waved a hand. Fans on the other side banged their sticks against the side of the wall.

After the game, Tyler knew most, if not all, questions would be about Rosie and he was pumped.

"So, Tyler, tell us…" Right off the bat, Tyler knew exactly where the question was going, "How's dad-life?"

"Oh, man, I was waiting for this one." He got laughs, "It's the best thing in the entire world.

"You have a daughter, correct?"

"Yeah, Rosie."

"Is Rosie best friends with the dogs?"

"Oh, for sure. Before she was even born, they were the ones standing guard next to Y/N, my girlfriend." A smile found its way onto his face when he said the word 'girlfriend'.

“And is Rosie a daddy’s girl yet?”

“She’s a doggy’s girl.” He laughed, “They’re best friends.”

“That’s so sweet.”

See the full post

503 notes - Posted May 28, 2022

#4

can i request “never letting go” hug prompt with joe burrow? ☺️

16. "'not wanting to let go' hugs" (from this prompt list)

tw: one curse word (ass)

whenever joe would go away on long road trips, it was a whole thing. you would spend the day before together, doing whatever you two wanted, and would cherish every moment together.

the morning before the roadie, you were both awoken by your dog, beau a toller. beau hopped onto your bed and started licking your faces.

"ugh, beau." joe groaned, pushing the dog's face away from his.

beau turned his attention to you, "silly boy." you giggled, scratching his head.

clearly, you were two different parents.

"come on, is it potty time?" you began to get up but were pulled back into bed by joe, "beau, save me." you hollered with a laugh.

the dog hopped back onto the bed and began barking at joe and trying to free you, "geez, i guess we know who your favorite parent is."

"he's protective of his mama." you laughed, unwrapping joe's arm from around your waist, and walking with beau out to the garden where he could do his business.

once he was done, you made your way back inside and headed to the kitchen so beau could have his post-bathroom treat. maybe you spoiled him a little.

"so, it was your turn to plan out joe and y/n day, what'd you plan?" you asked as you started making your coffee.

"well, i had us sleeping for another hour, but i guess we'll have to change some things around." joe looked down at beau, whose tail was wagging and he looked up at his dad happily.

"oh, come on. you can't be mad at him. he's too cute." you cooed, bending down and kissing beau's nose.

"anyways..." joe grabbed your attention, "we were gonna have a nice breakfast, prepared by moi. then we were gonna go to colour me mine..."

"awh." you smiled, "that's so cute."

"yeah, yeah, i know. i'm so cute and sentimental, moving on." he cut you off. you rolled your eyes at his sarcasm, "then we're gonna have lunch at that cute little cafe you like. then we're gonna come home and rewatch wandavision or the falcon and the winter soldier or whatever show you want to watch."

"you'd rewatch it with me?"

"of course, but only if we get to watch one of my shows next time."

"promise." you smiled, linking pinkies with him.

"and to end the night, i booked a reservation at your favorite restaurant."

"wow, you really went all out. i'm gonna have to think extra hard next time." you laughed.

joe did everything he could to make you smile and laugh. making stupid dad jokes or singing loudly off tune.

as you walked through the park near the restaurant, he had his arm thrown over your shoulders, occasionally pressing kisses to your head.

"did you have fun today?" he asked.

"i did." you smiled as you stopped under the gazebo.

"i'm glad." he hummed.

"i don't want you to leave me tomorrow." you pouted.

"i don't want to leave either." he pulled you into his arms, "but you'll have beau, and he loves you, almost as much, if not more than me."

See the full post

538 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

#3

just like dad , rooster

note, this is my application to join top gun tumblr. so.... slay! anyways, i love rooster as a dad and might make this a little au family series. haven't thought that far into the future. if people enjoy this, lmk if you want to see a little family series. another note, i promise all my fics aren't dad content. i have three other fics in my drafts (all top gun related) that aren't dad content. pair, bradley "rooster" bradshaw x reader summary, bradley left for a mission two days ago, and his daughter, jamie, misses him. so y/n helps take her mind off it. warnings, children word count, 849 words (shorty but a goodie)

(gif not mine)

Bradley had only been gone on his mission for 2 days but you could tell that Jamie was taking it hard. She always did whenever he went away. It wasn't even a long mission, but it always felt like an eternity to Jamie in her 4-year-old brain.

"When's daddy coming home?" Jamie had been asking that question all morning.

"In two days." You answered as you set a plate of fruit in front of her.

"That's so far away." She whined, picking at the strawberries on her plate.

You watched her eat her breakfast before a thought popped into your head, "I have an idea." Once she was done eating breakfast, you both got ready and headed for the mall.

"Do you know what that says?" You asked Jamie as you approached the store. She shook her head, but her eyes were drawn to all the colorful bears lining the walls of the store.

"Bears." She pointed.

"Yeah." You set her down and let her run around, looking at all the bears. When she finally picked out a bear, you moved over to the sound station.

You played her a couple voicemails that Rooster had left and she finally made up her mind after listening to all of them, "Hi, Jamie-Jam! Daddy misses you, and I'll be home real soon. I love you, and don't forget to give mommy a big kiss for me."

She stuffed it, gave the heart a big kiss, then placed it inside the back of the bear. After getting him all sewed up, she wandered around the clothing area. Lots of accessories for her new bear caught her attention, but when she saw the pair of sunglasses, her eyes went wide, and she made an immediate beeline over to them.

You couldn't help but laugh as she passed up the pair of pink sunglasses, that you knew would match the pair she had at home, in favor of the aviators.

After finding the accessories, you made your way over to the name station, "What do you want to name your bear?" She pursed her lips and thought about it for a second.

"Goose." She answered and your heart melted.

"All right, Goose it is." You nodded, typing it into the computer.

-

Two days after getting Goose, Rooster was walking up the pathway towards your house, a smile gracing his lips as he spotted the sign you always put up for him when he got back from missions.

He used his key and before he could even push open the door, Jamie was throwing the door open and greeting him with a big squeal, "Daddy!"

"Hi, baby!" He picked her up and spun her around, "Come on, let's go inside." He carried both Jamie and his bag inside. Jamie talked his ear off the entire time as he carried her inside and towards the dining table.

You popped out of the kitchen, where you were making a mid-day snack for you and Jamie before your husband came through the doors, and locked eyes with Rooster, smiling as he listened to everything Jamie told him, not taking his eyes off her for a minute.

"Hey, Jam?" You grabbed her attention, "Want to go show daddy your new friend?" Jamie nodded eagerly, hopped off her dad's lap, and ran to her room.

He pushed his chair out, letting you take residence on one of his legs. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he wrapped his around your waist.

"How was it?" You asked, playing with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

He hummed, "Not too bad. Went quicker than we thought it would."

"Hmm, explains why you're home earlier."

"It's only a couple hours."

"Still." You shrugged. Right before you could say anything else, Jamie came running back in, holding Goose in her arms. You pushed yourself off his lap and let Jamie take your place. She showed her dad the bear, who also let out a laugh when he saw the sunglasses.

"Look at this." He looked at the bear, taking it all in.

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580 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#2

like the movies , hangman

note, the titles comes from all the cheesy romance books i read and romcoms. i watch. you might see tropes you recognize. with. it is inspired by books and movies, things might move faster than they do in real life. if you don't like that, don't read this. pair, jake "hangman" seresin x reader summary, after being left at the altar, y/n gets in her car and drives. with no destination in mind, she eventually ends up in front of a bar in san diego. she garners everyone's attention the moment she walks through the doors, one of those people being hangman. warnings, cursing, alcohol consumption (all legal), jerk former fiances word count, 4579 words

(gif not mine)

"I'm sorry, he's gone." Those were the words that kept replaying over and over in your head. He wasn't dead, but he might as well be.

The words, "He's gone" kept playing over and over in your head, and it wasn't like you wanted to keep thinking about it, you were driving in silence, left alone with nothing but your thoughts. After almost half an hour on the road, you finally reached for the radio nozzle and turned it on.

You flipped through the channels, trying to find one that wasn't playing some kind of love song, and ended up on a station that played nothing but Christmas music, and even then there were some Christmas love songs that hurt more than the actual love song.

After driving all afternoon with no breaks, you were somehow still awake and moving, only running on a couple cups of crappy coffee and a bagel from that morning, you ended up at a bar.

You pushed open the bar doors, paying no mind to all the eyes that were immediately drawn to you. You plopped down on a barstool and waited for the bartender to come over and take your order.

"What can I get you?" The bartender asked, her eyes warm and inviting.

"Something strong." She smiled and grabbed a glass, pouring you a shot of something.

The question she was about to ask quickly died on her lips after she watched you down the shot, "That bad, huh?"

"The guy I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with left me at the altar. I've been driving since 2 in the afternoon, and it's..." You looked up at the clock, "10, so I've had a pretty shit day." You nodded, keeping your eyes locked on the ring still on your finger.

As you continued to stare at it, the more you wanted it off. You didn't know why it took you so long to take it off, but when you did it almost felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders.

"You know what? This rounds on me." The woman smiled, "I'm Penny."

"Y/N." You smiled. She was called away by another customer but offered you another smile before making her way over to the man.

"White dress? Don't tell me you got a groom at home waitin' for you?" You turned around to match a face to the voice. You were fully expecting a jerky-looking guy but were surprised to find a man in service khakis, a pilot, standing behind you.

"Nope." You answered with a simple shake of your head.

"I gotta say, this is very Friends-like.” He commented, “Girl runs into a bar wearing a wedding dress.”

“She ran into a cafe.” You corrected.

“Potato-Potato.” He rolled his eyes, “Can I ask why you’re in a bar in a wedding dress? I know there's a story there."

"Not much to talk about." You shrugged.

"There's always a story."

"Oh, there's a story, just not a very interesting one." You tried to brush it off, "What's your name?" You attempted to change the subject.

"Hangman." He flashed you an almost cocky smile.

"Hangman?"

"It's my callsign." The smirk didn't once fall from his face as he held out his hand, "What's your name?"

"Y/N." You shook his hand.

-

The same ritual continued for the next couple of nights. You would sit at the bar, drinking only one drink, paying but not leaving until closing.

If you left right after you finished your drink, you would be stuck going back to the empty hotel room with nothing but your thoughts, and the thought of that was almost as scary as the situation you were in at that very moment. Alone and trying to navigate your way through this new life alone.

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595 notes - Posted September 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

okay hear me out dad!joe being super cute with his kid

okay, but that sounds so cute!! tagging @idblowburrow just cause.

tw: children, dad!joe, mentions of pregnancy (like once)

happy valentine's day from me and my valentine ilya sorokin &lt;3

everything joe did, levi wanted to do too. levi burrow was his father's little shadow. whenever joe would have to go away on a long roadie, levi would sleep in his burrow jersey every night and beg to listen to the old voicemail joe had left on your phone when you were pregnant.

joe was set to come home from a long road trip, and instead of waiting for him at home, you were gonna pick him up from the airport.

levi, early in the morning, walked into your room and climbed into your bed. he poked you in the face to wake you up. you jumped away, "huh? what're you doing here, levi? what's wrong, bud?"

"where's daddy?" he asked, holding his little tiger stuffed animal to his chest.

"we're gonna pick him up after lunch." he pouted, and shook his head, "do you want to go to the park today?" that seemed to make him happy, so you went on with your day.

after eating grilled cheese sandwiches, you got levi into his car seat and drove to the airport, playing levi's favorite new song from encanto.

you got out of the car and parked in the private lot. levi busied himself with his stuffed tiger. you both heard the plane land, which was when levi started to get excited.

he began kicking his feet and squealing, "okay, okay, stay still. we're gonna see him." you laughed, unbuckling him from his car seat.

within 10 minutes, the team was unloading off the plane and grabbing their luggage, "daddy!" levi squealed, catching joe's attention.

joe's face immediately lit up as he quickly grabbed his suitcase and made his way over to you. you set levi on the ground and watched him run into his father's open arms.

"there's my man." joe grinned, picking levi up and spinning him around, before peppering his face with kisses, "were you good for mom?"

he nodded his head as joe picked up his bag and headed over to you, levi propped on his hip while his other hand held his bag.

he walked up to you and smiled happily, "hi." you smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck.

"hi." he dropped his bag and wrapped his arm around your waist, "missed you." he hummed.

"missed you, too." you smiled, "but let's get home. levi's been waiting all day to play with you." you grabbed his bag and lifted it into the trunk while joe buckled levi, who was rambling about his week to his father, into his car seat.

although somethings didn't make sense, the smile on joe's face was enough to tell anyone he was happy right where he was.

702 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

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[dankusner]

Madonna and Guy - the singer's brother reveals intimate details of her life

Christopher Ciccone has been his sister Madonna's constant confidant

By CHRISTOPHER CICCONE | 13th July 2008

Few know Madonna better than her 47-year-old brother Christopher Ciccone. They grew up together in Michigan in America and learned to dance together. Then Christopher followed Madonna to New York, where she began her long journey to wealth and superstardom. From early childhood, through the years of determined struggle to the iconic figure she has become today, Christopher has been Madonna’s constant confidant and shoulder to cry on. He has been her personal assistant and dresser, her interior decorator and artistic director of her show-stopping world tours. While much has been written about the most famous pop star in the world, only he knows the riveting untold story behind Madonna’s carefully constructed mythology.Here, in unparalleled and intimate detail, Christopher tells their compelling story.

Madonna and I are standing in the driveway of her new house in Beverly Hills.

She is facing me and I am facing the front gate when Guy Ritchie turns up in Madonna's black Mercedes and drives at me. 

When he is about a foot from from me, he veers the car away, just missing my foot.

I neither flinch nor move from my position.

He stops the car, rolls down the window and says: 'Are you trying to prove a point?'

I say: 'No, but I think you must be.'

He winds up the window and drives into the garage.

Madonna turns to me.

'What just happened?' she asks.

I say: 'I don't want to talk about it,' and leave.

No matter how much I dislike Guy, he's her husband and I want her to be happy with him, even though their life together is sometimes difficult. 

When Madonna paid our sister Melanie's air fare so she could stay with her and Guy at Ashcombe House, their country estate in Wiltshire, she told me the atmosphere between them was very tense.

A Kabbalah rabbi would regularly come down from London to mediate between them. This does not surprise me. I believe that Kabbalah is helping keep Guy and Madonna together.

I worry about my sister.

At 39, Guy is ten years her junior and she has given him latitude to pursue his own interests.

But they are very different people with different approaches to things, and I wonder whether they will be able to bridge the divide.

I send her a positive letter, in which I try to help her understand him.

I tell her that he is living in an incredible world with her, has an ego of his own and an idea of what he is, and that she may have shattered the illusion.

She responds immediately, telling me that she is hopeful she will find her way.

I hope she will.

I first heard about Guy in late 1999, after Madonna was introduced to him over lunch at Sting and Trudie Styler's home. 

I knew Guy was a British film director and that he was younger than her.

Like her first husband Sean Penn, Guy comes from a solidly middle-class family and yet both  are prone to present themselves as tough street kids.

My sister, I believe, has always played the identical game.

After all, she is a middle-class girl who propagates the story that she landed in Times Square with just a pair of ballet shoes and $35 to her name.

But that's pure mythology and the further she progresses, the more mythological her life story becomes.

Although our father wasn't really allowed to tell us about his job because it was top-secret, he worked in the defence industry in Detroit, designing firing systems and laser optics, first at Chrysler Defense and then at General Dynamics.

Far from being this lost and friendless little waif who didn't even have a crust of dry bread to eat, when Madonna went to New York she had money in her pocket, plenty of contacts and a support system all in place.

I often wonder whether her taste for self-invention explains her attraction to both Sean and Guy.

Many of Guy's forebears were highly decorated army officers.

He clearly has a great deal to live up to.

Which is why I can understand, in a way, why he chose to use his talents in a different arena by making what some term a 'homophobic' movie about London gangsters — Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels. 

Nevertheless, I was eager to meet this Brit who appeared to have captivated my sister so much.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie. 'His arrival in her life,' says her brother, 'was the death knell for my relationship' with her'

On Millennium Eve we are both at Donatella Versace's party at Casa Casuarina, her Miami mansion. 

Guy is friendly to me and seems like a nice guy.

He is conventionally dressed in a white shirt and dark-blue trousers and jacket, and I warm to him.

He is personable and respectful and seems as if he might be fun to hang out with.

Nonetheless, I tell myself that I doubt he'll outlast Madonna's usual two-year relationship cycle. 

We have cocktails at Donatella's table, along with Rupert Everett and Gwyneth Paltrow, and later move on to the VIP room of a new club. 

It's now four in the morning.

I pull Gwyneth on to the dance floor.

Madonna is dancing on the table.

Gwyneth joins her and they dance together.

In the middle of the dance, Madonna grabs Gwyneth and kisses her full on the mouth.

It's that sort of a night.

My friend Dan has brought a 19-year-old boy to the party with him.

Madonna, in a knee-length pink chiffon Versace dress, is on the dance floor, dancing with a group of people.

We all look good together, and we know it.

Suddenly the boy squeezes up to Madonna.

He edges between us, puts his arms around her, and they dance a slow dance close together.

Within an instant, Guy strides across the dance floor.

He kicks the boy in the leg to get his attention and drags him away.

Then he swings his fist at him.

I push Guy back and yank the boy out of the room. 

The moment passes.

The dancing restarts.

I'm on the dance floor with Gwyneth again.

Suddenly I sense someone coming up behind me. 

Guy grabs me from behind and starts bouncing me up and down like a rag doll. 

'Put me down!' I demand.

I extract myself from his grip, shove him up against the wall and grind my hips right into him. 

'If you want to dance with me, this is how we dance here,' I say grimly.

He flushes and pushes me off.

I walk away.

I don't give Guy another thought.

Rupert, however, is watching us intently. 

Later, in his autobiography, he comments: 'Guy and Chris were from different planets, and in a way the one's success relied on the other not being there.'

The next day, Guy and I don't say a word to each other at a barbecue in Madonna's garden.

I decide that he is a bit of an oaf, particularly on the dance floor, a drawback with regard to Madonna because she likes her lovers to dance well.

And it has always been of paramount importance to her that the man in her life should be able to deal with the gay men in her life.

I can't imagine that Guy will be around for long.

I am wrong, of course.

I have no idea that the arrival of Guy in Madonna's life is the death knell for my relationship with her.

In August 2000, Madonna and Guy's son Rocco is born.

Madonna is now firmly settled in England and she breaks the news to me that she and Guy are getting married. 

I tell her I am glad for her.

Apart from the fact that Guy must remind her of Sean Penn, she is getting older and needs a father for her children.

She casts such a big shadow and most men just aren't prepared to subjugate themselves to her.

I guess that Guy isn't either, but at least he is prepared to marry her.

A previously unpublished picture of Madonna pregnant with Lola in 1996, with Christopher in the background

In a note with my wedding invitation, she says she is inviting 'my close friends and family members that are not insane to the wedding at Skibo Castle' in the Scottish Highlands, adding:

'We will be married by a vicar in the Church of England because Catholics are a pain and GR doesn't want to convert and besides I'm a divorcee.'

I am not keen to attend the wedding because I really can't afford it.

Moreover, I no longer have any affinity for Guy. 

But Madonna owes me the final payment for the interior design work I did on one of her houses and when I call to make my apologies, her assistant tells me the debt will be paid in the form of a ticket to Scotland, with the rest of the money sent separately.

I spend a few days mulling over the situation.

I feel I don't know this person who is attempting to blackmail me into attending her wedding.

So I capitulate.

I'm told I will fly to London a week before the wedding, be fitted for a tuxedo and the following morning fly to Inverness, a 45-minute drive from Skibo Castle.

On December 21, Rocco will be christened and the wedding will take place on December 22.

Staff for the wedding are forced to sign a four-page confidentiality agreement, none of the guests is allowed a mobile phone and we are all banned from leaving the castle during the five-day celebrations.

Seventy security guards will keep the Press out and the guests in Colditz Castle, here I come.

A business-class air ticket is sent to me from Madonna's office.

When I check the price, I discover that only a few hundred dollars of my fee remain outstanding.

Once in London, I follow  instructions and go to Moss Bros on Regent Street to rent my tuxedo.

It's pure polyester, and when I slide the jacket on, it burns my fingers. 

The shop assistant presents me with the rental bill.

'Put it on Guy's bill,' I say, and walk out.

Madonna, centre, in 1970 with, from left, sister Paula, Uncle Chris, brothers Christopher and Marty, sister Melanie, stepmother Joan and father Silvio

A car meets me at Inverness Airport.

After about an hour, we arrive at Dornach, turn into a sweeping drive lined with beech trees and Skibo Castle looms in front of me cloaked in mist - big, beautiful and mysterious. 

My first sight of the main hall is straight out of Hollywood.

A crackling log fire burns brightly, the walls are oak-panelled, there are stuffed animal heads, a sweeping oak staircase and the landing with a stained-glass bow-window where Madonna's wedding ceremony will take place.

At the reception desk, I am asked to hand over my credit card for incidentals.

I tell the receptionist that I didn't bring my card with me and that all my charges will be billed to Madonna and Guy.

I just can't forget her bullying behaviour.

My room is in the attic of a turret.

I go through a door into a small hallway, then into a room about 6ft by 6ft, with a claw-footed Victorian bathtub in the middle and a toilet against the wall.

That leads to another door, another low-ceilinged room, and there is my bed.

Back outside, a pretty girl rides by on a horse.

She introduces herself as Stella.

The penny drops.

Stella McCartney - Madonna's maid of honour.

As far as I know, she and Madonna have only just met, yet Madonna has chosen her - not her close friends Ingrid Casares or Gwyneth Paltrow - to be her maid of honour.

Stella designs and makes a free dress - worth £15,000 - especially for Madonna.

Stella explains the drill.

Every morning the men will go shooting and the women will have a themed luncheon.

Shooting is out of the question for me. 

Later I dress for dinner and go into the library.

Guy's friends are in there.

I don't know any of them, but one or two look familiar so I guess I've seen them in a film.

They are relatively friendly and they all clearly have a history with one another.

We have cocktails and I try to make small-talk. 

I ask how the shooting went and they tell me that they have shot 300 birds.

I ask them if they are kidding.

They tell me they aren't.

'So are we having them for dinner?' I ask.

They all laugh and tell me that we aren't. 

In the dining room, Madonna walks in, says 'Welcome to Scotland' and gives me a hug.

Guy shakes my hand.

The large table is set for ten.

Madonna has a seating chart.

Scottish food is served and I pick at it halfheartedly.

Then I ask for some chicken. 

Tonight, and every night afterwards, the guests toast the bridal couple.

Tonight one of Guy's friends makes the toast, which culminates in a crack with the subtext: '

Wouldn’t it be funny if Guy were gay?'

I don't laugh.

It wouldn't  be funny.

Guy's pride in his own heterosexuality swells noticeably when he's in the presence of a gay man like me.

And in his wedding week, with these after-dinner toasts seemingly aimed at underscoring his overt masculinity, he is in his element. 

I, however, am far from amused when many of the speeches trumpeting Guy's heterosexuality include the word 'poofter', a derogatory British expression for gay.

The next evening, I am seated between Sting and Trudie.

At first they talk about the castle and  the weather.

Then Trudie leans in to me and says: 'Christopher, do I  have BO?'

'Huh?'

'Do I have BO? Do I smell?'

'Not that I can tell,' I say, perplexed.

Then she asks:

'Are you into that sort of thing?'

Before I can think of an answer, she chips in:

'Mightn't you be?'

'Isn't the smoked salmon delicious?' I say.

Madonna stands up at the top of the table and issues the instruction:

'Christopher, tonight it's your turn to give the toast.'

I lean down the baronial table and, with great emphasis, reply:

'Madonna, you really don't want  me to do that.'

It's a statement, not a question.

'No, Christopher, it's your turn!' she barks in a tone identical to the one she always used as a kid when she and my siblings all played Monopoly together. 

If she didn't get Park Place [Mayfair in the English version] she invariably stamped her feet and said:

'But it's mine.' In those days, in the face of her strong will, I always capitulated and rescinded my purchase of Park Place.

Nothing seems to have changed.

I stand up.

My fellow guests fall silent out of respect - the brother of the bride is about to make a speech.

I raise my glass:

'I'd like to toast this happy moment that comes only twice in a person's lifetime.' 

Then, without skipping a beat, I go on:

'And if anybody wants to **** Guy, he'll be in my room later.'

Everyone erupts in laughter.

Everyone, of course, except Madonna, who keeps saying: 'What did he mean?'

Guy, who I suspect knows exactly what I mean, says nothing and avoids looking at me. 

Soon after, Trudie tells me:

'That was hysterical. I've been listening to all those homophobic jokes. I just want you to know that we were aware of how you must be feeling.'

On the day of the christening, Range Rovers pull up in front of the castle to take us to Dornoch Cathedral.

A Press pack of 500 photographers and even more journalists is waiting for us outside the castle gate.

We drive past them but they follow us all the way to Dornoch. 

Inside, the cathedral is lit with candles and garlanded with ivy and flowers.

I sit with Gwyneth and Rupert and only see Rocco - swaddled in his white and gold £20,000 Versace christening outfit, a gift from Donatella - from a distance. 

I learn later that a journalist has been hiding in the massive pipe organ for three days.

By the time someone discovers him, he has passed out cold.

After about 30 minutes the service is over.

We are driven back to the house.

Dinner is served, toasts are given.

I experience an urge to smoke but know I can't because Madonna has banned smoking. 

Gwyneth and I leave the table at the same time.

On the way up to my room we stop at her suite, which is massive and beautiful.

It occurs to me that I - who sometimes signed my letters to Madonna 'Your humble servant' just to annoy her - have been relegated to what must be one of the smallest rooms in the castle, perhaps even servants quarters.

A joke?

Or just my sister's way of keeping me in my place?

Madonna and Guy at son Rocco's christening at Dornoch Cathedral in 2000

The next evening, just before 6.30pm, we all gather in the candlelit Great Hall and take our seats at the foot of the staircase, the balustrades of which are garlanded in ivy and white orchids.

It is beautiful.

I am sitting in an aisle seat, five rows from the front. 

The strains of the hymn Highland Cathedral, played by a lone piper, fill the foyer.

He is replaced by a pianist, Katia Labeque, who plays as Lola [Madonna's daughter Lourdes], in a long ivory high-necked dress, descends the staircase to the landing above us, scattering red rose petals in front of her.

Lola is sweet, winsome and adorable. 

Then Madonna, beautiful in a fitted ivory silk dress, enters on our father's arm.

On the landing in front of the bow-window, she joins Guy, who is wearing a green Shetland-tweed jacket, green tie, green and diamond antique cuff-links (which, I later learn, are a gift from Madonna), white cotton shirt and a kilt that someone tells me is in the plaid of the Mackintosh clan.

Rocco, snuggling in his nanny's arms, is dressed in a kilt made from identical fabric.

Guy and Madonna exchange diamond wedding rings. 

Then, in front of a female pastor, they speak the vows they've written themselves.

I wish I could hear them, but the ceremony is so far from where we are all sitting that none of us can make out a single word.

Deja vu - Sean and Madonna's wedding all over again!

After 15 minutes, the wedding party descends the staircase and we all congratulate them.

We sip champagne, then Madonna and Guy go up to their rooms to change. 

At dinner, I have been allocated a seat at the back of the room, sitting with my back to the bride's table. 

I'm not surprised because, after all, I've been a bad boy.

The best man, nightclub owner Piers Adam, stands up to give his toast.

Behind him, a screen shows images of Guy as a baby, Guy as a schoolboy, and even Guy in a dress.

Piers points at it. 'You see, Guy was a poofter early on,' he chortles, really pleased with himself.

I restrain myself from getting up and throwing a plate at him. 

I glance at my sister, hoping to see a look of outrage on her face, but there is none.

I am sad that Madonna, whose early success was built on her legions of gay fans, can listen to these comments without protest.

I feel even sadder that she is now married to a man who seems so insecure in his masculinity that he thrives on homophobia. 

I leave the dinner, go upstairs and fall asleep.

In the morning, we all pile into the bus taking us to the airport and we fly back to London.

I breathe a sigh of relief.

I've served my time at Skibo and it's over. 

I have always designed Madonna's stage shows, but in March 2001 I make the chilling discovery that she is going on the road again but isn't hiring me.

Perhaps this is a retaliation for my wedding toast and the disdain I have demonstrated for her new husband.

But a few weeks later she writes inviting me to one of the rehearsals.

In the same letter, she tells me that she, Guy and the children are now eating a macrobiotic diet - no meat, chicken, bread, sugar, dairy produce or alcohol - prepared by a French macrobiotic cook.

She also invites me to come to a Kabbalah class.

Although I am slightly intrigued by Kabbalah, I decline.

But I do accept the invitation to the rehearsal.

The overall vibe is angry, violent and not fun to watch.

Then she hires me to do the interior design of the house she has bought from Diane Keaton in Roxbury Drive, Beverly Hills.

But before I start work, Madonna takes me aside and says: 'You know, Christopher, I've got kids now and a husband and you are going to have to design the house for the kids and to deal with my husband as well.'

I tell her it won't be a big deal, but I am wrong.

In theory, decorating Roxbury should be easy.

The only construction required is changing the bathroom upstairs so it suits Madonna, building a closet for Guy and enlarging the pool.

But Guy's closet turns out to be a massive enterprise, particularly as it involves dealing with Guy directly.

We meet at the house and he tells me what he wants:

'Nothing mincey, mate. Nothing twee.'

I stop myself from knocking his front teeth in.

He tells me that the closet must be 6ft long and 5ft wide, with hanging space just so, drawers of only one kind, and - most important of all - a glass case for his cufflinks and watches.

The case, he says, must be lined in red velvet and have lights so he can see his cuff-links and watches displayed there.

It has to be made out of dark wood.

The grain must match and run from left to right.

Through it all, he addresses me as 'Chris' even though he knows I prefer Christopher.

He is lordly, not in the least bit friendly - as if I am just another employee and not his brother-in-law.

Madonna, too, treats me as if I am nothing other than a serf paid to decorate her home.

In the past, I researched fabric and furniture for her, narrowed the choice down to three samples of fabric, or three types of chairs, and brought her the samples and photographs so she could pick which she wanted. 

Now, though, she says three samples are not enough.

She instructs me to bring her at least ten samples, photographs of at least ten types of chairs, and so on.

And when I do, she says, she will then confer with Guy regarding the right choice.

I sense that her obstinacy stems from a deep desire to please Guy, and that he is secretly working to edge me out of every aspect of her life.

When it comes to selecting the wood for his closet, I show him 12 samples and he tells me that they all look 'twee', using the word over and over.

I get the message:

I am gay and he doesn't want the house to reflect my sexuality, which is hardly likely.

Madonna and I argue over the slightest detail - a doorknob, a light switch.

We've never argued over such details before, and I feel as if I am falling into a strange, dark hole. 

In August 2002, Madonna invites me to her birthday party at Roxbury.

The invitation is from 'Mrs Ritchie'. When she was married to Sean, she never called herself Mrs Penn. 

Now she has relinquished practically the most famous name in the universe - just to make Guy feel better about himself. 

A kind and loving gesture, perhaps, but I also feel that she is acting a part.

The invitation states that the dress code is kimonos only.

Anyone not wearing one will not be admitted. 

I have a red cotton kimono with white writing all over it, which I bought in Tokyo, so I wear that.

At the house, all the pathways are lined with votive candles and the garden looks pretty.

Gwyneth and I start chatting.

All of a sudden she screams: 'Christopher, you're on fire.'

I look down.

Flames are curling up my kimono.

I rip it off and pour water over it.

Gwyneth and I step on it and stamp out the fire.

I am wearing black trousers and a black shirt underneath.

I stay at the party dressed like that.

Madonna walks by.

I show her my burned kimono, which has a large hole in it.

She shrugs.

'Put that back on. No one is allowed to stay at the party if they aren't wearing a kimono.'

Don't ask me if I am OK, don't ask me if I am burned, just stick to your rules.

I ignore her and go back to dancing with Gwyneth.

The next time we meet is in London, to see her opening in the play Up For Grabs.

Guy is in the audience but we don't talk. 

The next day, Madonna invites me to lunch at her house in Marylebone.

The Georgian terrace home has a dramatic staircase, five reception rooms, a large library, eight bedrooms and a huge drawing room.

We go out for a walk.

Suddenly she says: 'Guy told me about this pub - let's take a look.' 

'But you don't drink beer, Madonna.'

'I do now.'

We go into the pub and she orders a pint of bitter.

I watch her face as she drinks it.

She pretends to like it but I can tell she doesn't. 

'My husband is a beer drinker and I want to experience what he experiences,' she says in explanation.

I realise that it isn't just Kabbalah that has saved their marriage.

Madonna is striving hard to please him.

In the spring of 2003, Madonna tells me she is selling Roxbury and has bought a new house on Sunset Boulevard.

At her suggestion, I go to see the house, a bizarre reproduction of a French chateau with a swimming pool, a tennis court and an indoor theatre.

I hate it on sight, but when she asks me to design and decorate it in three months flat, I agree.

If I hadn't needed the cash so badly, I would have turned her down because the time is so short. 

We exchange ideas by email and Madonna senses my feelings.

An argument blows up between us, which rages in our emails. 

The conflict escalates when she sends me a vitriolic fax on September 23:

'You hate the fact that you have to work for me. There is no sense of urgency or gratitude and I'm fed- up with all of it. This is not a healthy relationship and when you have gotten rid of your issues with me over the fact that I am what or who I am then perhaps we can work together again.'The message is clear: for my sister, our working relationship is over. 

I write straight back to her.

'Fine . . . fire me . . . I will consider this my last day of work for you. Believe me, I have always worked for every penny you have paid me, and generally it was pennies. You need to take another look at Kabbalah and its teachings and start practising it yourself instead of using it as a weapon on others.'

The following morning, she fires off another fax to me in which she ends our working relationship.

She admits:

'Perhaps I expect too much because of history, water under the bridge and the fact that you are my brother. Who knows, but it's not good chemistry.'

I suspect that Guy is somewhere in the background, pulling my sister's strings.

Either way, she has made my life a misery during the entire job.

Finally, the house is completed according to schedule.

But I don't receive the final payment of £7,500, so I call her assistant, Caresse.

'Madonna wants me to tell you that she doesn't feel you did enough to warrant the final payment. So she isn't going to pay it,' she says.

For a moment, I digest the latest blow my sister has dished out.

'You tell Madonna that if she wants to see any of the rest of the furniture I bought for her and for which she's waiting, she had better pay me.'

Caresse gulps and hangs up.

Within a few hours my final cheque arrives by messenger and I arrange for Madonna to get the rest of her furniture.

By now, Madonna and I are hardly on speaking terms.

But we are not completely estranged.

Then, at the end of October 2003, she decides to return one of the light fixtures I've purchased for her.

Caresse takes it back to the shop and learns that I have charged a percentage above the cost - the standard mark-up every designer takes.

On October 24, Madonna calls me and says that she can't believe I've done this to her, calling me a thief, a liar, the most untrustworthy person she's ever met and accusing me of betraying her.

The accusation that hurts the most is when she yells: 'I've made you what you are. You wouldn't be anything without me.'

I do my best to defend myself.

She hits back with a fax in which she hurls further accusations at me, ending: 'Please never contact me again.'

It is as if my sister has taken a knife, stuck it into my stomach and twisted it 25 times.

Or ripped my heart out and carved it into a thousand pieces.

I've spent the past 20 years helping make her a star, supporting her and protecting her without much financial reward.

And now this.

I read her poisonous words over and over, enraged.

In frustration, I smash my fist on my desk.

I break a bone in my hand and, for weeks after, have to wear a cast, but the physical pain is negligible next to the psychological pain my sister has just inflicted on me.

Every bit of anger I've ever felt at her, every disappointment she's  caused me, every iota of pride I've swallowed on her behalf, every bitter rejection – it all comes to the surface.

I reply to her.

'You have never in the entire time I have worked for you since 1985 paid me even close to what I was worth. I gave up my life to help make you the evil queen you are today. Fifteen years listening to your bitching, egotistical rantings, mediocre talent and a lack of taste that would stun the ages. 

'Every ounce of talent you have, you have sucked dry from me and the people around you. I certainly never worked for you for the money, now you accuse me of lying and cheating you. You've got some nerve. 'You have lost all sense of reality. I always thought that one day you'd see my worth and behave accordingly, but you never did. A little respect was all I ever wanted from you, and you couldn't even manage that.'I end with: 'Don't forget to remove me from your will.'

Then I press Send.

As I do, the weight falls off my shoulders.

All of a sudden, I am free of Madonna.

I don't have to protect her any more.

I don't have to worry about how my public behaviour will reflect on her.

I can be myself at last.

Christopher, not Madonna's brother.

Then I am overcome by a deep sadness.

The woman I loved above all others, the woman I thought was incredibly creative and loving has surrounded herself with sycophants who do nothing but agree with her and who, I feel, have poisoned her against me. 

The Madonna I once knew is lost to me for ever.

I am sorry for her, and us.

Abridged from Life With My Sister Madonna, by Christopher Ciccone with Wendy Leigh, published by Simon & Schuster on July 15

$64,000 … the debt she left me to pay

I am flicking through a Sotheby’s catalogue and notice three 19th Century landscapes – nothing major, just decorative items costing a total of $64,000, but perfect for Madonna’s Coconut Grove house in Miami. 

I send the catalogues to Madonna’s apartment, with the paintings highlighted.

Madonna says she wants the landscapes.

Normally, for ‘small’ purchases, I lay out the money myself and Madonna pays me back.

So I go over to Sotheby’s and, with the bulk of my savings, win the auction and pay for them.

Invoice in hand, I take the paintings to Madonna’s apartment and present them to her. 

‘I don’t want them,’ she says. 

I assume she must be joking.

‘You’re kidding me, Madonna.’

‘I don’t want them any more and I’m not paying for them.’ 

As she is well aware, Sotheby’s policy is that if paintings bought in auction are returned, they will re-auction them but will retain half the proceeds.

But, for her own reasons, Madonna is pretending that she doesn’t know that.

I feel as if I am going to throw up.

‘But, Madonna, I’ve spent my own money on them. I don’t make the kind of money you make. I can’t just drop $64,000. That’s all the money I have.’

‘I don’t care.’

‘But you can’t not care.’

‘Sell them to somebody else. If they are worth that much money, sell them to somebody. I don’t care what you do. I don’t want the paintings.’

She gets up and sweeps out of the room, leaving me standing there, clutching an invoice for $64,000 and three paintings, and feeling as though she has punched me in the stomach. 

I reason that in her head, she must be telling herself that because I am her brother, I should cope with whatever hand she deals me.

Still, I never dreamed that she would ever treat me with such a lack of caring or lack of respect. 

Today, I suppose, is a milestone.

My first experience of the full force of my sister’s dark side, her lack of concern for someone she purports to love.

Our father instilled the values of loyalty and honour in us.

But over the years, my sister’s sense of loyalty and fairness has clearly been eroded by the adulation, the applause and the sense of entitlement.

It takes me six months to resell the three landscapes.

Six months during which I can’t pay my rent, have to borrow from friends, have to struggle to survive.

My sister, the cause of my predicament, knows this, yet does nothing. 

By the time I finally recoup my money, my feelings for her have undergone a radical shift.

[thegeminisage]

ok, belated tng update time. idr what day it was (monday?) but we did "remember me" and "legacy."

remember me: THIS RULED!!! i absolutely cannot believe that 1. they give beverly crusher nothing to do ever 2. she was almost KICKED OFF THE SHOW FOREVER? 3. i used to dislike her so much. when you give this woman half a chance she totally, absolutely steals the show. not only can she act in the most technical sense, but beverly herself can be stubborn and brave in the face of danger and she is SO MUCH MORE than Just A Mom! (tm) which is all we were getting from her for season 1. and then in season 3 she really only got a few chances to show her stuff, most notably the terrorism episode, which is a bummer cuz that was not the best episode but SHE was great in it. and she was also also in this

the point being i want more of her being cool and good. i really loved everything she had going on here. running around and talking like a crazy person and not ONCE (ok, one time) did anyone suggest she was crazy. they just believed her!

WHICH IS NUTS BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT SHE LITERALLY WAS CRAZY. like it all happened that way bc she got too deep in her cups about her dead husband

speaking of: the plot twist in this episode. mwah. so good. and she was so smart to figure it out on her own where they couldn't help her, and it was so smart that EYE also was tricked but it didn't feel like unfair trickery. because i knew SOMETHING had happened.

the whole episode was just so spooky and cool, i was on the edge of my seat every minute, it never felt too slow or rushed, it was perfect

anyway support women. support women in the medical field. support women in the workplace. support women with sons who trap them in warp bubbles.

legacy: once again we dishonor the memory of tasha yar...not really but it BROKE me knowing she DIED FOR SOMETHING but nobody in this timeline would remember that!!!!!!!!

i like her sister honeypotting data. he literally almost bagged both yar girls and good for him

once again: rape gangs mention. it's been so long. after all this it was almost disappointing not to see them. almost.

actually though it's really fucked up that tasha just left her and revenge would've been a good motivator...but in some ways, it's even more fucked up that it wasn't. like she just doesn't care. she doesn't care about anything but her shitty gang war on this shitty planet, and goes back to it and (i looked it up) never appears in canon again. that's just her life. sister left and then died for nothing and she will also die for nothing and data will carry around that little holographic photo and now that bomb implant for the rest of his little android life. wack.

NEXT TIME: "reunion" and "future imperfect."

[boricuacherry-blog]

I continued to hitchhike and turn tricks for a few months. I also added a new drug to my arsenal - methamphetamine, more commonly known as crystal. A white boy had picked me up somewhere near Oxnard and said he was headed for Beverly Hills. Since I rode with the ride and went where the ride went, I went with him to Beverly Hills.

At some point in the ride, he pulled over at a liquor store to get some beer. When he returned, I lied and said that it was my birthday. "Well, that calls for a special celebration," he said as he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small folded piece of white paper. As I watched with interest, he carefully unfolded the paper, used his pinkie fingernail to scoop up some of the white powder inside, and sniffed. I'd done coke before, so I figured that's what it was. It was white and powdery like coke. But when I sniffed the powder from his pinkie nail, my eyes watered and my nose burned. Coke never burned like that - and I'd had the best of the best. I grabbed my ears and pushed them tight against my head in an attempt to suppress the burning.

"F**ck!" I yelled. He quickly snatched the paper away so the powder wouldn't spill or my breath blow it away. "What is that shit?"

He started laughing. "It's crystal, girl. You ain't never had no crystal?"

Nope. That was the first time. But the burning sensation in my nose began to disappear, and as my heartbeat started to speed up, I knew this would not be the last time.

I got another ride, copped some vodka and orange juice, then stuck out my thumb to catch the next ride. To where? Didn't matter. I was standing in the middle of the street with my thumb stuck out when a cop pulled over. Normally I would've run, but I was drunk, so it took a moment for my brain to register that he was a cop.

He asked my name. Although I'd made a vow to use "La'Vette" as my bad name and "Cupcake" as my good one, lately I had begun to confuse the two. Right now, I was so drunk that I'd forgotten which one I was supposed to be.

Don't matter, the booze said.

(You know that alcohol talks to you, don't you? Sure it does. Who do you think convinces the drunk man that he drives better drunk? Alcohol! It talks to you. It says, Go ahead, drive the car! You can see better now than you ever did! Problem, though, is that it turns on you. Yup, sure does. Once it convinces you to do something idiotic, reckless, dangerous, or stupid, that same voice snickers, ooooh, YOU done f*cked up now!)

The vodka was telling me: Fuck him. Give him any name - just be sure to end with asshole.

"Cupcake, asshole!" I bellowed. I tried to get up in his face, but the booze caused me to lose my balance and almost fall on him. Luckily, he caught me.

He was not amused.

"Oh, my God, girl. You're drunk!" He was utterly disgusted. "All right, young lady, let's go," he said as he grabbed my arm and half led, half dragged me to his car.

I was cussing him out the whole way. The booze was telling me, Fuck him! He can't do this to you. Talk about his momma!

So I did. I talked about his momma, calling her every bad name I could think of.

That's right!, the booze egged me on. Now call him a short white bastard!

I don't think the cop was really bothered by my talking about his momma, he just ignored me. But I think the reference to his height pissed him off, because he roughly snapped on cuffs and harshly tossed me into the back of his car. As he angrily drove off, the same booze voice that convinced me to curse the cop now, unpredictably, turned on me.

Oooooh, you done fucked up now!

I slumped into the seat as I realized the mess I had gotten myself into. My high quickly vanished.

[cocoartistwrites]

Hi Coco, I'm going to ask you a maybe offensive question. I don't intend this question to offend you but forgive me if it did.

Why is British young girls are so mean?

I went to a catholic boarding school for my Year 10 and obviously the girls are already know each other since birth because it's the same in my country. I went to the same school/institution since kindergarten to middle school. My parents decided to send me to UK because I intended to get my bachelor's there.

So I knew pretty much the boarding school girls culture. I understood being a new student from other country, I needed to work harder to blend in/try to find new friends. My school is predominantly white, I'd say 98% of the pupils are white. I'm white too. I just do not come from an English-speaking country. However my English is very good, and at that time, I had this accent but not too heavy.

I thought I was going to have new friends quickly because I was extrovert and in my previous school I had so many friends and friend group. Very active social life. However that was not the case at all.

I was not bullied, at least not in a way you'd consider active bullying. It was just the little thing that made me realised they were actively excluding me. I was sooo nice to them, greeted them every. single. time. I made them bracelets, helped them with essays and labs, even let them copied my stuff sometimes. But still, they rarely including me to their groups.

I remember one time I tried so hard following these girls everywhere but they're just laughing and keep talking about people I don't know. Every time I tried to join or chimed in they would responded very little or not even acknowledged it at all. It was so frustrating and I cried 1/3 of the nights I was there because of this.

And it's not racism, because I'm white, blonde, and I know I'm considered conventionally beautiful. But they still don't wanna be friends with me. They laughed at my bracelets, they laughed because my luggage was not Louis Vuitton. They laughed because I don't have Anastasia Beverly Hills or Victoria's Secrets kit. They laughed even when I had them. I was so mentally drained but I was craving this external validation from these girls. Sometimes they complimented me but then I realised they were being sarcastic. I was so pathetic.

I moved to a co-ed school for A Levels but then again I was focused on getting A*, I didn't have time to make friends or boyfriends. I eventually went to Durham (ha! All that hard work but still get rejected by Oxbridge!!!). Sadly, girls in Durham were the same species as the girls from my school so I was already tired making friends. I had some British guy friends and some girl friends but only 3 of the girls are of British. The rest are international folks. I only follow like 5 people from my boarding school and two of them are a year below me from the same country.

I'm just sooo confused and maybe this is a character development thing from me. Maybe I needed to learn that my looks does not guaranteed friendship. But still I'm so confused because I'm not a mean girl. I never do things they did to me. I smiled all the fucking time. People call me Barbie for it but at that time, it was not a good thing to be known for.

But seriously, I know British girls can be nice but where are they? How do I be their friends?

Sorry for the essay. I just got an email from my school so it just brought back some memories.

I don’t really know how to answer this because it’s not a universal experience. What I can say is that snobbery in this country isn’t as cut and dried as it’s about race. It can be but it’s more complicated than that. I think you’ve been in particularly bad situations and that sucks and I’m sorry but also I think it gets better and you’ve maybe like been in a very small section of society. It sounds meaner than anything I’ve really seen. You’ve definitely been Othered here, and when you were just trying your best to be nice as well which is very galling. I’m sorry that happened. It won’t always be like that. Don’t let them sense weakness and don’t try too hard, and at the same time try to keep your warmth and save your open heart for the good ones.