#and being utterly convinced that things were definitely so much better now

[grison-in-space]

You know, I was just thinking about the It Get Better Project. It rolled out when I was in college, and I distinctly remember my college Lambda Alliance* holding it with a certain level of sardonic, bitter cynicism. We were all pretty conscious of exactly how hard "it gets better" weighs when you're actively in the process of making it better. And that process can be heartbreaking. I was still under the impression that I could find out some way to come out to my parents that would make them want to listen to me and, like, give the tiniest shit about what I was feeling about anything. (The answer was no, but to be fair it's not like anyone gave the tiniest shit about what I felt before that either.)

I knew other people who had strained relationships with family, too. Or, well, we all lived in the South, and like all young adults we were considering whether we were going to flee to a more friendly state or what. The thing about interstate moves is that they're terrifying and expensive and have no guarantee of success, and that's never truer than when you aren't sure how much you can lean on a support network.

In 2010, there was this optimistic air that gay rights were just marching along with the passing of the years like an automatic rolling out of morality; it had been almost thirty years since the first traumatic shock of AIDS hit queer communities, and the enormous backlash against trans folks hadn't started to swing yet. To be honest, that's how that project landed. I mean, I know that as an ace twenty one year old, I'd never been all that impressed by Dan Savage. I never had any sense that anything was going to be better for me unless I rolled up my sleeves and took part in the collective labor of making it happen. And I remember talking to my friends at that Lambda Alliance about that.

It's hard to put your trust in things being sure to get better when you're actively putting in all the painful labor of making it better today, both by trying to advocate for other folks in your life and by changing things about yours. Like, how can you be sure "it will get better" when you're fighting for your family to accept you, and the thing that actually makes your life better is to stop trying? You have a lot more power as an adult, but sometimes all that means is the power to flee your home and become a wandering fugitive until you can find or make a new one. It's not the kind of thing you promise a kid, I thought then. But maybe I'm just too cynical.

So now I'm curious about people who weren't me. Bonus if you feel called to explain why.

*IDK, maybe we were all a pack of radicals? It was a state school in the South and at least four people at that time went on to careers of advocacy and activism; maybe we weren't representative? And I'm not counting me, but I've also published on queering biology, so... maybe I should, who knows.

[creepy-friday]

Can I make a request? Headcanons or a little Oneshot idk of Alastor x Wife!reader? Both being couple goals like Morticia and Gómez. Being evil together, like a good old classical couple 👉👈🥺

Alastor x Wife!Reader

I can see the reader symbolic animal being a crow/bat,and being able to manipulate/manifest them in both physical and shadow form

they would get along with Alastor's manifestations,sometimes he would pet them,have them around whenever you're not since he craves presence

both of you play spooky little tricks on the other demons such as making things levitate,opening the doors,flicking the lights,it's truly amusing seeing the undead fear the ..well..undead

you would give "soft nightmares" to someone then said someone would think they're prophetic and Alastor would further convince them they are just so that they make a deal with him to keep them safe from absolutely nothing

both of you give each other the side eye everytime something happens that both of you don't agree on

he has a shadow attached to you and inevitably the said shadow would try to woo you every chance he has

the "microphone" he has also has to be a little bit oblivious at times.

Both of you sit in complete silence,just enjoying each others presence while doing your own thing then suddenly his mic opens his little eye "what a lovely couple both of you are,what were the odds for both of you to be silent in bed!" Alastor chuckles and you let out an annoyed giggle "did you hear that,dear?" you ask him,putting your chore aside.

"Of course,just don't mind him,but for real now,what were the odds?" he continues to joke about it."No.That was the sound of a fucking divorce." you joke in return making him even more flustered and talkative,getting him all touchy feely with you

for real now,the word "divorce" makes him a top comedian,cook,lover and everything in between,even if it's in the context of a joke,he wouldn't want to lose you

if your personality tends to be more introverted/melancholic he would 100% take it as a challange and would do everything in his power to get you to do something completely out of your character

he never calls you by your name(except for serious occasions/spicy ones,if you know what I mean) but rather uses pet names such as "Honey";"Dear";"Darling"; "Cara mia"

uses every opportunity to dance with you whenever a good song is playing

you don't have to be shy with him,his mischievous personality will totally use it to his benefit and tease the living hell out of you

I have this lil' headcanon that if the both of you are listening in to a conversation and if you can't hear,he would manifest some old headphones to hear better "here you go,darling"

"Husk is adorable" you sing,trying to pet the man in question "Well,I say he looks completely utterly miserable!Of course you find him adorable!" Alastor laughs,bringing his one sided friend closer to your reach

asks your opinion on every important decision he has to make even if he is already sure about what to do.If you have a different view on it he will definitely reconsider

Angel Dust would be all sighs,puffs and "get a room" just because the two of you do simple romantic gestures such as Alastor's gentlemanly behaviour of kissing your hand and such

Vaggie's tolerance of Alastor drops to 0,but she adores enjoys your presence.She wishes both of you would have more time together but your husband always needs to barge in and annoy the living hell out of her.Alastor doesn't really likes her so he wouldn't want you around her that much

dark humour that leaves everyone poker face except the two of you

he doesn't except much from you tbh,just the same old love to be reciprocated

[lavender-romancer]

Push it Down

Astarion x GN Reader

Everyday it got worse, the longing stares interrupted when La’zel would curiously catch your eyeline always straying to Astarion. Or how you would always inextricably walk next to him regardless of the goal ahead. Shadowheart would often question if Astarion had to open “every lock we find” at your request. But you couldn't help it, being near him, with him was all you would think about

AN: Astarion brainrot is a real condition people. Lots of lovely fluff.

You're a squishy wizard

*°*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°•.˜”*°••°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”˜.•°*”°*

“Do you have to make your feelings so obvious that it's painful?” Shadowheart asked as you looked through some random boxes you found in what remained of moonhaven.

“Do you have to bring this up again?” You jabbed back with a smile. “I'm not ashamed of it, but I will never outright admit it.”

“Lady of Sorrows guide you, I don't know how you're able to stand with your debilitating lack of a spine.” She raised her eyebrow and you simply rolled your eyes “Here, go give these to your boy-toy.” Handing you a few thieves' tools Shadowheart walked to another side of the room and continued looting.

You scampered outside, only realising when you were in front of Astarion how desperate it must have looked to run up to him like a dog wagging its tail excitedly. He was unlocking a chest that was one in a big group La'zel and Karlach had put together for him to deal with.

“Here,” you held out the tools with a smile that was much too big for such a small token.

“Thank you, darling.” He smiled up at you. “You're looking particularly overjoyed, what's got you so energetic?”

“Uh… looting.” You never were good at lying.

“Thank the Gods you never became a politician because your inability to deceive is one of your greatest qualities.” He opened the chest he had been working on.

“I suppose. But I wish I was better at more things like that, it just makes me so nervous to not be honest.” You fidgeted with your hands.

“Well, for starters you need to be better at improvising, it is adorable to see you try and lie to anyone and fail miserably. I'm convinced you should just be completely honest and people might not believe you.” Standing up he brushed the dust off his trousers and you were now face to face. Given, a few steps apart but it still made you smile and your feet shuffle anxiously.

“The tadpole has definitely made me better at lying, you have to at least admit that.” You were practically beaming, staring at him in awe.

“Still, you carry most of your emotions in your eyes and your inability to stop smiling. You'll get there eventually my friend, probably, I mean probably not but it's very sweet that you continue to try. Anyways, we should head back to camp for the evening I am positively spent.” Astarion walked past you to pick up his backpack and you internally groaned.

It was so deeply embarrassing when you couldn't keep your emotions hidden. A problem you had usually put down to anxiousness, but realistically it was just something you had to learn to live with. You were an open book with almost no air of mystique about you. Maybe that was why Astarion seemed so utterly uninterested in seeking anything but friendship or a quick night of passion.

As you lay in your tent, you conjured a mage hand to throw books at you to try and practice your telekinesis but it was going dreadfully. Whilst your magic was growing back to it's former strength before the tadpole you were still plagued by poor reaction times to basically anything. One quite powerful throw from the conjured hand hit your arm and you yelped, sure that it would leave a bruise.

“What mischief are you up too now?” A voice suddenly asked, distracting you from the task at hand as a book hit you square in the face.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed, dismissing the mage hand and rubbing your nose.

“Are you trying to be agile again? You know how that ended up last time.” Astarion joked as he entered your tent and sat down opposite you.

A funny but painful memory entered your mind when you had tried to climb over a very small wall to surprise some goblins and had instead ended up on your back in front of them. If falling over in front of some goblins wasn't bad enough, you had also slipped in grease that was extremely easy to avoid alerting the whole horde to your party's location. The bollocking you got from La'zel after that encounter made you promise to work on your ability to not be “such a fucking Wizard” whatever that meant.

“No, surprisingly I was failing at something else.” You quipped back at him, “anyways, did you want to feed or-”

“No, well yes but, I wanted to talk to you.” He licked his lips absentmindedly and seeing the slight glint of his fangs off the light of your candle made your eyes grow wider. You never knew you'd have a thing for vampires…

“Oh! Do uhm, talk away.” You cringed at your inability to string a sentence together.

“I- look. I know that I am beautiful and wonderful darling, but have you been looking at me slightly differently lately?” he asked, you could almost sense that he was nervous but you weren't sure why.

“What do you mean?” You responded with your eyes fixated on your bedroll on the floor as the alarm bells rang in your head.

“With more longing behind your eyes?” You hadn't noticed that same longing in his eyes which was often present in your gaze.

“Who- I- why did you get that impression?” You fumbled through your words and began fiddling with your robe.

“Oh, I…” he trailed off and you finally looked up, sensing his dejected tone you cocked your head.

“You sound disappointed.” Your tone was soft in an attempt to stop him from running away from the conversation.

“Disappointed? Darling if I wanted you I could most certainly have you.” Having returned to his snarky sense of security you frowned.

“Is that why you seem so annoyed? Because I rejected you before?” Your mind went back to drinking red wine with him, the sour taste filling your nose all over again. It wasn't that you didn't want him, you just didn't want the first time you could spend the night with him to be clouded with alcohol and regret. Maybe it had bruised his ego but there were so many reasons to try to let your bond grow overtime.

“You think that wounded me? I have laid with thousands and I'll lay with thousands more before I am hurt by that!” He exclaimed but you could see the hurt in his eyes that he struggled to hide.

“I didn't want it to be like that. Something that you might feel like was a mistake, a drunken mishap you'd rather forget. I didn't- I don't want you to think I did it because I did not want it. Under different circumstances things would have been different for me.” Clasping your hands together you tried to reach his gaze but it was so accusatory that it was making your heart pound.

“I- I don't think I've ever been rejected as tactfully as you did.” Astarion almost laughed with a far-away look in his eyes.

“It didn't feel genuine and I couldn't allow myself to be swept up in all of it knowing that we weren't on the same page with our feelings about one another.” Smiling sadly you looked at the book that had previously hit you in the face, pushing it to the side you moved a bit closer to him. “I'm sorry that you felt like you had to do that, that night I mean. Correct me if I'm wrong, please.”

“I'm not sure how you know me so well that it's almost concerning.” His voice sounded strained as he departed from his snarky performative notes.

“You've become my favourite distraction through all of this shit we've dealt with. I really like being around you, it will be a shame when it all comes to an end when we get to Baldurs Gate.” your voice didn't show your true sadness but your eyes certainly did and Astarion could tell.

“I was hidden for so many years within those city walls, imprisoned and kept as a loyal pet before the nautiloid. A grim reality was the only way to escape the even worse life I was living and… I never thought I'd make friends let alone feel connected to someone. But you, you're thoughtful and sweet and respectful and too perceptive for your own good but so silly and honestly so bad as hiding that it's hilarious. Finding someone who understands you is a great gift and I would not like to squander it.” Astarion reached out his hand and it shook slightly as he showed his true vulnerability. You looked from his hand to his face, it was genuine and really from everything you could gather, it seemed like he was being the most honest he'd ever been with you.

“You want to stay together?” Your voice was so hopeful as your head told you that you were an idiot.

“Yes. You fool. Was that not clear. Now hold my hand so we're not both fools.” He rolled his eyes and you hurriedly held his hand. Your clamminess was immediately obvious given his hand was ridiculously cold. “God you mortals are always sweaty aren't you.” He gave you a cheeky smile and you had to laugh or you'd descend into an anxiety ridden madness.

“Do you want to stay here tonight? I would enjoy a cuddle.” You asked.

“Just a cuddle Darling?” He flirted but there was still that look behind his eyes that was there after the tiefling party. The look you had come to understand was the dogma drilled into him to seduce, sleep with and then sacrifice all his conquests. Sex wasn't the same in Astarion's head as it was in yours but you didn't mind, it wasn't important to you.

“Just a cuddle.” You smiled in a way that you hoped was supportive and whilst he looked surprised he didn't seem disappointed. “Come here,” you lay down on the pillows and invited him to chest.

Whilst tentative he rested his head on your chest and slowly placed his hand on your arm. You without warning wrapped your arms around him in a squeeze of a hug that would probably suffocate someone who wasn't already dead. But he seemed to appreciate it as he nuzzled under your chin and his body began to relax. You stayed like that for a while until you began to snore and Astarion peeled himself from your embrace. He sat up and started to read, every so often glancing down at you. How an earth had he allowed himself to fall for a Wizard?

Astarion Taglist:

@anukulee

[wist0ragic]

#☆ yandere glamrock freddy !¡ headcanons

(this is my first time writing something so bear with me 😭 it was kinda rushed near the end)

cw: possessive behaviour, overprotectiveness, slightly controlling, slight stockholm syndrome, slightly manipulative, typical yandere behaviour you would expect

- for starters as you would expect and just like everyone else would agree, glamrock freddy is a much more tame yandere

- he’s definitely not out for blood and would in no way physically harm you or others unless absolutely pushed to do so (and only then he would hurt others if absolutely necessary)

- but he will absolutely guilt trip you with those sweet eyes of his and insist that he’s the only one who could really protect you and keep you safe from the harsh reality of the world and all of its cruelties

- whether you’re an employee at the mega pizza plex or simply a customer who stops by when they can, you manage to catch the bots eye on day one

- for example let’s say we went with the idea that you were an employee that worked for the massive place, it would be your first day and of course the usual anxieties of starting something new start to overwhelm you a little

- especially since your main duties would be maintenance work on the big four

- and who else but freddy would immediately pick up on the fact that you were nervous on your first day and happily offer guidance and reassurance

- i mean he practically spends the whole day with you glued to your hip, or at least as much as he can, what with being the big man himself

- but as soon as any shows or birthday parties were finally over with freddy would immediately find his way to wherever you were and fret over how you were doing without him

- had you taken enough breaks? did you drink enough water? did you have something to eat on break? have customers and coworkers been nice to you? have his band mates been treating you well? did you miss him?

- all of these are questions that freddy would fire off rapidly due to worry

- eventually, after some time working at the pizza plex, you open up to freddy about how the monotony of work was getting to you

- and that having to deal with shitty coworkers and customers five days a week was utterly exhausting

- that’s when the idea clicked in the bots head

- freddy could tell you were tired and so who better than him to rescue you from all of that stress and nonsense?

- he just knew that he was the only who could keep you happy and content, even if that meant locking you away in his room

- “but superstar… you shouldn’t have to worry about such silly things like work. you’re too precious to be so stressed out and tired. so let me take care of you from now on. I promise I can make you happy in here with me. It’ll be just us…. forever and ever”

- and a part of that delusional offer does sound tempting you have to admit, to have the glamrock freddy care for you and look after you, but at the end of the day escape still lingered in the back of your mind

- the same could be said if you were a customer as well

- only difference is that freddy would have first met you after his performance, he recognized you from all the cheering you did, it was incredibly endearing

- after that freddy would eagerly wait for you, counting down the days until your next visit and celebrating each and every time you stopped by

- but he would still just as easily find a way to convince you to come with him in his room to spend time together

- “come on superstar! it’s been too long since we last got to hang out, let’s catch up in my room! i have plenty of time before my next show”

- and who wouldn’t trust the big ol’ sweetheart?

- that’s when you would find yourself with the door locking heavily behind you and freddy managing to slip you a nighttime candy or two

- “shhh now superstar, i’ve got you, you’re finally safe now with me” and that would be the last thing you hear before your whole world slowly fades to black

“we were meant for each other, no one else can love you the way i do, so let’s stay together forever…. alright?”

[not-magdi]

Period

Summary: Well it‘s that time of the month again 😑 Luckily this time you‘re not alone 😁

Warnings: None

Words: 1.1k

A/N

As someone who currently is experiencing the same thing I would like to say that I also want to be babied at some point, but who is there for me? Nobody 😑

(A short moment to appreciate how frigging cute that boy looks!❤️)

Since Y/N woke up today she knew something was off, everything in her body ached and her head hurt like crazy. She had no clue what was going on, but whatever it was it should better stop sooner than later because she some things to do, her boyfriend Pablo for example.

Y/N and Pablo have been boyfriend and girlfriend for about a month now, everything was going great, the chemistry between them was awesome, and they were still really deep in their honeymoon phase.

Still, they need to get used to each other, not wanting to scare the other one off they try to do everything that involves the other as perfectly as possible.

Now Y/N was about to get out of bed when she felt a stabbing pain in her lower abdomen, rushing to the bathroom her fear was confirmed, she got her period.

"Oh come on ... you're a week too soon" complained Y/N cleaning herself up and reaching for a tampon.

Coming out of the bathroom she felt horrible, her abdomen was punishing her with the worst cramps she felt in a while and her head was killing her. Going into the kitchen she starts to boil water for her heating pad as she turns around to open the fridge she sees the red circle on her calendar.

Today her and Pablo were supposed to go to this new nightclub that opened last week, he wanted her to meet a few of his friends today, but knowing her body she was going to feel horrible for the rest of the day.

Feeling really guilty she thought about what she should do, calling Pablo and telling him how horrible she felt and him probably being very disappointed, or her still going but most likely not enjoying the evening and making a bad impression on his friends, which then again leads to Pablo being disappointed in her.

Sighing she presses Pablo's contact calling him.

"Hola amor what's up" Pablo answers after two rings.

"Hola bebé I think I need to cancel today, I'm feeling really sick today and I don't want to ruin everyone's evening," she says while sitting down on the couch rubbing her abdomen.

"Oh no ... you want me to come over? I could look after you", Pablo asks with genuine concern.

Wanting nothing more than be cuddled up in Pablo's arms while he looks after her she still declines, "No baby you don't have to it's not that bad" She winces at the end of her sentence as a really bad cramp surges through her.

"Are you sure, you do not sound good ... are you in pain?" not convinced by her statement he asks her.

"No! ... well yes, kind of. It's just ... I'm on my period and everything kind of hurts" Convinced he is going to be disgusted she mumbles the last part.

"Oh poor thing, I'm definitely coming over ... I've seen how much my sister suffers from that. I'm not leaving you alone in your misery ." He exclaims with an affectionate tone.

Touched by his statement she cuddles herself deeper into the couch hearing him say he is going to be there in thirty minutes, as he has to do a few things before he can come.

Unbeknownst to Y/N Pablo called his sister asking her what he should do now because, to be honest, he had no clue where he should even start.

Being utterly confused why her brother was calling her out of nowhere asking what girls like on her period she tells him a few basic things everybody enjoys, chocolate, heated blankets, ...

After getting a few ideas from his sister he drove to the nearest store and bought a few snacks for her and a pair of fluffy socks he knows she loves so much.

He bought everything he thought she might need, and nearly emptied the whole sweets section. He drove to her house gently knocking on the front door.

"It's open!", he hears Y/N yell, and as he opens the door he sees a pale-looking Y/N cuddled under her favourite blanket all in all looking pretty sick. The sight breaks his heart, placing the bags from his shopping trip beside the couch. He kneels before her kissing her head.

"Oh amor ... you really don't feel good, do you?" stroking her head he sees her shaking her head groaning as another cramp hits.

Lifting the shopping bags he exclaims softly, "I brought you some snacks, I didn't know what to get you so I just grabbed a few of my favorite comfort snacks"

Smiling softly Y/N looks into the bag seeing lots of different types of food from sweet to sour everything was there.

"Thank you that's perfect" being really touched by his actions tears start to form in her eyes.

„Hey Bebé ... it's ok no need to cry" wiping the tears away with his thumb Pablo kisses her nose earning himself a teary giggle.

„I'm sorry it's just that ... you're like the sweetest person I've ever met. Nobody ever brought me snacks while I'm on my period or cared for me like that"

„Well then it's time we change that ... scooch over I want some cuddles."

Scooching over Pablo climbs behind her so he's sitting up and she has her back to his chest, hearing her groan in pain again he asks;" Is there anything I can do to help you with the pain?"

Thinking for a short while Y/N answers, " Yes there actually is." Taking his hands she brings them to her abdomen, "Just hold your hands there please, your warmth will ease the cramps."

Nodding Pablo holds her abdomen with his hands starting to massage it after some time, hearing Y/N sigh he smiles to himself looking down and seeing her cuddle herself deeper into him.

"You comfy?" he asks her with a smile. Looking up at him with an adorable little smile she nods wrapping her arms around his.

"Don't you have to go soon, otherwise you'll be late to meet up with your friends." looking up at him Y/N  asks Pablo.

"I said they can go without me, I'd rather be with my girl anyways." kissing her head he answers.

"Really? ... Awww you're so sweet when you want to" she exclaims, gasping Pablo looks at her. "What's that supposed to mean!?"

Giggling Y/n gives Pablo a kiss before cuddling herself into him again, falling asleep not much later, in the safety of her boyfriends' arms who she grows to love more and more every day.

[cinderflower]

Thoughts on SotE now that I've seen/explored essentially everything the DLC has to offer.

This post is quite lengthy so I've put it under a read more.

Overall, I did enjoy this DLC and most of what it included. There were only a few major issues I had with it and most of it is from a lore perspective (wow guess about what!) and a lot due to my own personal preferences. So I'll start with the positive, because there is actually a lot of positive with this DLC.

Gameplay: I really enjoyed the gameplay and world design of the DLC, the new weapons, etc. Overall from a pure gaming perspective this is primarily peak FS. While the bosses could be excessive at times with how few openings you get and how short those openings are, that didn't bother me at all for the most part. Most bosses felt fair and rewarding to fight and defeat and tbh at the end of the day that's mostly what I care about when playing these games. Metyr, Rellana, & Putrescent Knight in particular stand out as the two I enjoyed learning the movesets of and fighting the most (except Metyr's lazer beam spin attack, good god).

Level Design: The levels acting as self-contained areas similar to the base game was definitely appreciated and I did enjoy having to figure out how to traverse the map to get to the various places. Each area was unique and visually stunning - though the lighting and saturation at times was jarring. The frenzied flame area in particular stood out to me as something I'd love to see revisited again from a design and mechanics perspective. Also the Cerulean Coast and Trina's area were gorgeous.

Lore: Trina!! The main standout that I enjoyed was the Trina lore. Also the lore regarding the shadow realm, frenzied flame, the fingers, Ymir, Messmer, and Marika all felt mostly seamless with the base game with most having callbacks to lore scattered around in the main game itself. There's a few things I disagree with fandom's interpretation on already but that's to be expected.

Most of the positive is a lot of what people have already been saying so I'm not going to belabor the points too much.

Now, what didn't I enjoy?

Gameplay: The excessive re-use of base game mini-bosses, specifically the ones I already hated fighting (dragons, death rite bird, fallingstar beasts) ended up all feeling like a chore rather than being rewarding. Similarly, the furnace golems got really old really fast and the gimmick ones weren't even enjoyable to figure out - I'll absolutely skip them if I play through this again. Lastly, I'm convinced the Commander Gaius fight was designed in a lab to be utterly miserable to me specifically because it had every single mechanic I hate in a fight.

Level Design: Some areas were so incredibly barren it was a chore walking through them. As mentioned above the shadows and saturation at times was jarring so I do wish that had been cleaned up.

Lore: By far the lore I was most excited for is the lore that disappointed me the most, and not even necessarily because of the story it was trying to tell, but how it told it. I've always from day 1 been onboard with a version of Miquella that strives to make the world better from a sense of naive idealism that ends up leading him down a similar path as Marika once he sees that everything he tries fails to come to fruition, that he cannot undermine the Golden Order and the state of the world with what power he has and with the power he has at his side. I am onboard with a Miquella who piece by piece compromises his ideals in an "end justifying the means" kind of way - so my complaint is how they actually went about trying to tell that exact setup.

Before even the Radahn debacle, the heavy heavy heavy leaning into the bewitchment aspect of Miquella was so incredibly disappointing because it strips his character of what I personally found so intriguing about him: a character who lured people to his side for his sense of idealism, people who then had to come to terms with their own atrocities committed on his behalf for the sake of this ideal future, and all the complexities that accompany that. I always find that mind-control, bewitching, etc in fiction is an incredibly difficult tool to use in a way that is narratively satisfying which is why I detest the use of it so much, because it does exactly what it did here - it took the characters who had their own motivations, lore, and complexities pre-DLC and stripped them down to being either one-note, victimized, or it trivializes their own lore entirely. Primary casualties of this lazy writing choice: Miquella, Mohg, Radahn, and Malenia

Moving into Mohg - I just hate it, what can I say. It's all the above. The whole reason Miq needs his body is such a weak plot point that I have no words. The bewitchment takes this character who was such a beautiful narrative foil to Morgott, strips him of that complexity, and is now forever cast into the victim role. I'm not saying he isn't a victim, don't get me wrong, but to me it was more compelling when that victimhood was at the hands of Marika and the Golden Order. It felt satisfying seeing a character in contrast to Morgott who rose in the Erdtree's defense trying to make something new in response to being outcast and shunned. Sure, were the means at the hands of an Outer God? Yes. Was the blood cult cruel and wicked? Also yes - in fact, as I write this, Mohg seems more of a mirror of Marika than anyone else. Suffering under the current regime and creating an empire to overthrow it; but unable to claim godhood himself like Marika did, he needed a surrogate candidate for godhood, specifically the Formless Mother's godhood: Miquella (assuming only empyreans can become gods and Ranni's body is gone and Malenia is already under the influence of the Rot God). The reasoning for his kidnapping of Miquella is already there, so why did the DLC feel the need to cheapen everything about that narrative to just go "haha jk he was bewitched this whole time" ! Unsatisfying. Deeply disappointing.

Radahn is baffling, even now after sitting on the lore for a few days, it is utterly baffling to me. I get how the DLC set everything up so please don't try to explain it to me, I get it, but it just makes no sense when looking at what the base game set up and even Miquella's ideals? If Miquella is looking to build an age of compassion, why choose the character who wants to be a warmonger? They even re-state numerous times how Radahn finds that war suits him, which makes sense, because his character was about aspiring to be like Godfrey who was The Warmonger Extraordinaire. It made sense that between his allegiance to Sellia and his tutelage under the Alabastor Lords that he would hold back the stars (which control fate, though the DLC did muddy this up too, a post for another time) and would use that power to defend the control he had and seek out more control. But why would he seek it out at Miquella's side and make a vow for an age that would end in the lack of war? That would put him docile and complacent, nothing more than a tool, at Miquella's side?? Especially because if he idolizes Godfrey, surely he would have seen how when Godfrey no longer served his purpose, when there were no more wars to fight, that Marika cast him out - so why would he ever agree or make any sort of vow to that end? It makes no sense to me. It also absolutely makes the whole battle of Aeonia so trite and meaningless, so utterly devoid of any of the dynamic that made it compelling.

Which brings me to Malenia who actually got me interested in ER lore in the first place. It was her character that got me more interested in Miquella and consequently Mohg as characters. So what the DLC has done to her character is nothing short of tragic to me. What was the point of it all? Obviously for her scarlet rot to be cured is a big part and her loyalty to Miquella is as well and I do still believe she would go to would go to devastating lengths in his name (at least pre-DLC). But post-DLC? With the Radahn lore? Why would she entertain the battle of Aeonia in the first place? Why would she nuke herself and Caelid to try and kill Radahn if it was all "according to Miquella's plan"???? It cheapens the devastation, it cheapens her character, and it makes her look worse. Also Miquella was there as well as we see from dialogue with Freyja where he cures her of her rot so ??????? Why did Finlay have to single handedly carry her back to the Haligtree???? If this was all planned???? Someone please explain this to me because I cannot make it make sense.

The most glaring sins of all the above is that while the other lore the DLC expanded upon had roots and foreshadowing in the base game, the whole of Miquella's story in the way they decided to tell it - with the exception of Trina and his core motives - had nothing in the main game. It was all net-new information added in the DLC. And sure, DLCs are supposed to expand upon the base game and give new information, I don't disagree, but when everything else in the DLC has tie backs to the base game and this plot point doesn't? Not an item description? No environmental story telling? It's just bad writing. I refuse to believe the Haligtree statue is Radahn not Godwyn based on the base game lore, that's lazy as fuck justification. Similarly, I've seen people point to Loretta, and sure if Loretta was encountered in Caelid where all the Radhan lore was but she wasn't, she was with Ranni in the Ranni area so that's weak as hell too.

In summary: if this was the version of lore and Miquella that had been presented in the base game I would have absolutely no interest in the story or the character. If anything this DLC has served to actively sap out a lot of the excitement and joy I had in the series because it handled the main lore I was interested in so poorly (my opinion).

I'll probably still finish Field of Reeds as well as Truth and Blood especially now because I want to see the story through with the care that the DLC should have given to the characters, but beyond that? I can't see myself remaining invested in Elden Ring moving forward, especially not if the DLC canon seeps into the main fandom. I already dislike seeing the few Radahn/Miq things I've seen because of all the points above. If you liked the DLC and the Miq lore, more power to you, but I'll be cleaning up my feed to avoid a lot of it moving forward.

And my one last petty gripe: it's like they wanted the radahn/miq fight to echo the vibes of twin princes, but they utterly missed the point of why the twin princes fight from a mechanics and lore perspective was so interesting in the first place.

[ganondoodle]

okay more elden ring DLC spoilers below the read more

what fucks me up the most is ....... that we never actually get to meet the real actual Radahn, hes either a rotting zombie or some constructed meat puppet with a manipulated soul of his

the most we know is from the base game stuff, his men and everything, but we never get to meet him- and now ... it undermines the whole festival, i felt like it was sorrowful goodbye and attempt to grant him an honorable death- that made me fall for him in the end, the lore around that and the whole build up and vibe of it, it felt so genuine but now you cant feel that, bc you know .... either way he will be suffering, let him rot for all eternity being a threat to friend and foe alike, as this mindless monster chowing away at corpses like a beast when he used to be a powerful respected general

or kill him but instead of giving him the death he wanted his soul is instead grafted into a meat puppet by his half brother so he can be controlled and made to agree to marry him despite rejecting it in life (as far as i understood it, he definitely did reject it though bc otherwise malenia wouldnt have tried to assassinate him to get him delivered over)-

so theres no good answer and im left wondering, did his men know of that? im gonna guess no, bc the whole point of the festival was to bring him HONOR when there was nothing of his honor left, of him left, and theres no honor in being turned into a literal marionette for your half brothers sick play

you could call it tragic, and it is, but it feels so much more ..... like just wanting to violate him even in death, just because he hasnt suffered enough, lets make it even more horrible just for sufferings sake (like i get it, i like when my favs also get to suffer, what happened to him in the base game was a part of why i love him so much- but theres a limit to that imo) it takes away from so much of the festival and everything, you are not taking part in one last final battle so Radahn can die fighting, you are handing his soul over to his half brother that wants to use him like a puppet, LITERALLY, to make a mockery of his memory, make him do things he would never have if he was himself, i cant think of anything more horrible to do to him

and his people are utterly convinced they are doing right by him, when the rot was probably better than what miquella would do to him, as horrible as that was.. and if they WERE aware then wow ....... i guess miquella really had everyone on his side huh uwu, like that sucks even more, so none of them ever felt and cared about him or were all also brainwashed YIPPIIIE

(not to mention how much interesting miquella lore gets twisted into actually he was just a scheming little creep and everyone that followed him was quite literlally brainwashed- i know the whole bewitching thing is like, his thing, but MAN- it feels like whoops it was all a dream and it never actually happened when its done bad)

(and i know Radahn is a fictional character but people are gonna pin it on him i just know it, like espeically those that dont care about lore and are just there for the fights .... like its not his fault!!! and i felt like he was already hated enough, first by his too hard boss battle in base game and now in the DLC its a repeat of that even harder (though i find the complaints a lil >_> bc i have seen people just walk right over story bosses so just ... overlevel yourself if you want to do that too, you dont have to fight a boss for three days, explore and level up?) and it was already annoying how malenia defenders AND radahn defenders kept trying to make the other into some horrible asshat, when they are both not great and thats valid, but now its??? )

[deathofacupid]

i love you peter b. parker | peter parker

pure angst. that's it lololol

summary: you knew you wouldn't be around forever, and you wanted to leave a piece of you behind for him.

i had this idea in mind for some time but i'm only now just writing it but fr i legit almost cried writing this

we love delulu peter

tw: sad peter

angst (for me) isn't easy to write, but i tried my best here. did you like it???

he knew you were sick, he knew you would leave. but it never really hit him that you would be gone someday, that is, until you were gone. terminal kidney disease wasn't fun, and it most definitely wasn't easy. it didn't matter though, because as long as you had peter by your side, you were sure that nothing would go wrong. that you'd be able to fight through it, because the love of your life was fighting alongside you.

peter was always used to saving everyone, so he felt so utterly useless when he found out. he tried to make you as happy as possible, and to help you do everything that you wanted to do most, and make the most of the time you had left.

he remembered the day he asked you out, and you warned him about the sickness, that you wouldn't be here forever, and that one day, he would have to leave you. no, that you would have to leave him.

but peter being peter hadn't thought that far into the future. he was only 16. he didn't know that he'd grow so attached to you, that you become the one for him.

no. that thought had never occurred.

you had passed in your sleep, at least, age 19. it pained him so much to think about everything you had in store for you.

everything we had.

a life, a future, just waiting.

for all he knew, you were his life. you were his future. so how would he go on? how would he do anything without you? especially when you were his everything?

peter stood next to his aunt, clad in all black, watching your mother scream and cry into your father's shoulder, repeatedly begging for you to come back. he watched her lean down next to the coffin and kiss your hair, whispering sweet nothings. the boy wasn't sure if he'd be able to look at you, to say his goodbyes. because it didn't feel real to him. you couldn't be gone. how could you be gone?

"go, peter," aunt may whispered. "you'll regret it if you don't," her voice was fragile, and he could her the pain in her voice.

"no, no, no, i-i can't-"

"you'll regret it if you don't," she repeated.

so with shaky hands and a heavy heart, he walked over to the black box. there you laid, and he tried to convince himself that you were sleeping.

just sleeping.

he got down on his knees and and looked at you. your hair was perfectly laid out, nails freshly painted. the smallest bit of makeup was on you, but you were a deathly pale. your eyes were closed, but he'd give anything to see those gorgeous hues again, lit up by the liveliness behind them.

"hi, angel," he whispered softly, a strangled sob rising up his throat. "your mom is crying. you should wake up now. didn't we talk about getting more sleep at night? so you wouldn't fall asleep all the time during the day?"

peter chuckled quietly. "baby, i remember that time you fell asleep in mr. nester's class. and you snored? it was so cute. and funny. but mostly cute. they're soft and quiet, but if you're listening, you can hear it. your snores are adorable, you know that? it's hilarious because you always say you don't, y/n, but you do. always. yeah. you always snore. why- why aren't you right now? y-y/n?" he asked, panic creeping in through his words. "why aren't you?"

"y/n? y/n? angel? b-baby, wake up, wake up, it isn't funny anymore, stop it, j-just wake up now, please. please!" he was shaking you now, making the coffin rattle. "aunt may? s-she won't wake up! may! please, wake her up... she- she isn't..." he went off again, murmuring things to himself, all incoherent. "i love you! i lo-love you, y/n!"

they had to drag him away.

months later, he wasn't any better. he could hear aunt may at night sometimes, talking on the phone.

"it wasn't like this with ben," a pause, "no, dr. winston," another pause, "he talks to himself. stays up all night. talks to himself, dr., and not even in the way you might see a little kid doing... no... y-... he always looks scared," peter stopped paying attention at that point. "yes, thursday is fine. thank you."

no, he thought angrily, he didn't need a doctor. not some psychiatrists or psychologists. he needed you. but when he closed his eyes and saw may's pained face, he thought that he'd give it a try. for her. for you, right?

then, it had been a year. he was doing a little better, but barely. peter ate more. slept more. had less nightmares.

but he still didn't have you.

some nights he would stand on the top of his apartment building, right on the ledge, and debate ending it all. that way, he could be with you. and then he remembered may. and ned. and mj. how they'd already lost you, and how they didn't need more grief. those nights he'd go back into his flat and lock himself in his room, crying the rest of the night.

another year passed, and he stood in front of your house. your parents were finally cleaning out your old room, and they'd asked him to come over and see if there was anything he'd wanted. they let him in, giving hugs and greetings. peter trudged up the stairs and into your room. he closed his eyes and inhaled, remembering your loving scent.

but he didn't cry. he'd already done that. peter had no tears left. he was empty. numb.

as he analyzed the room, he saw many boxes, and noted that the bed was gone. some frames were still up, and many decorations were removed. on the dresser there was a photo of you and peter. your head was thrown up as you laughed, and peter was staring lovingly at you. it was a picture that neither of you knew was taken, but when you saw it, it became your favorite.

he'd told a lame joke, and you'd laughed. no one else laughed at his jokes, which was one of the reasons he fell in love with you. here, you were at the carnival with peter, ned, and mj. it was a blurry, side-angle picture, slightly grainy as the lighting was terrible. ned had taken it, and while it wasn't the greatest quality, you had adored it, repeatedly thanking him.

peter sat down and pulled the nearest box closer to him, taking out the first item he grabbed. a purple... journal? there was "to peter parker, the love of my life" written on the front cover in sharpie.

your handwriting.

your. handwriting.

he carefully flipped to the front page.

never mind. he did have tears left to cry.

entry 1:

okay, yes, i know, this is silly. and i doubt you'll ever have to read this, but if you are, it means i'm not here anymore, or that you're going through my stuff again without my permission. in which case, put this down.

he felt tears cascade down his cheek, and he sniffled softly.

peter b. parker, i love you. i have loved you since the day that you bought me that coke when i was a quarter short. luckily, you loved me, too, and now we're together. i wanted to do this because i know i won't be around forever. and before i die (if i do) i want to give you a piece of me, and this is how i'll do it.

i love you, peter b. parker.

he flipped to the next page.

entry 2:

in a world of endemic sickness, where cruelty is the cause and love the antidote, the patients declare themselves doctors and seal the fate of the world.

i love you, peter b. parker.

so he kept reading.

entry 6:

because your love is so whole, my missing pieces appear. because your touch carries such passion, what was scarred becomes soft once more. because you are steady and patient, my open wounds have time to seal and vanish.

perhaps that is why they say love is such magic, this gift from the universe, this sweet addiction to the man i was born to find. for with my twin soul, the only other born in the same flame as i, we are able to bathe one other in warmth and light as easily as we breathe, immune and oblivious to darkness.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 14:

i love you like you're the last of my kind. it is as if you speak the same language as i, yet no other is able. to be around you is like finally not being alone - as if all my life i've been isolated, in a windowless room, in a doorless room...

and then suddenly you walk in as if strolling over a summer meadow. how is that you are so much more than sunshine? how is it you breathe life when no other can? why is it you are my medicine? who could love me more than you? so, my love, know this - while i breathe i am yours in mind, body and soul.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 27:

you said that meeting me wasn't like a new song, but like opening a book and finding a language you'd never seen before. i want you know that i feel the same way. your love is something beautiful; meeting you is like meeting an enigma.

i don't know how you exist in this world yet you do. so let me tell you now - i will always love you in mind, body and soul. you are the trap i've been wanting to fall into my whole life; liberty from you would simply be an infinite prison. i am the softness you seek and you are the cradle for my head and heart.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 42:

love quotes inspire, golden strands of truth in an age of cynicism. yet for me they can never adequately capture the strands of emotion that tumble through the air whenever my my heart turns to you.

love after all transcends time, distance and even mortality. love is the greatest wonder of our age, weightless and invisible as it is. the wordsmith brings a beauty to the love, elevates it yet sometimes this very pedestal brings us to romantic notions too heady for ordinary life.

i love you like the nascent leaves of spring love warmth; i love you like the ancients loved the night sky; i love you like a cool draught of water on a summers day. love cannot be fireworks for an entire lifetime, though we've had our share. love must flow quietly, peacefully, always remaining strong.

love is nothing like finance, we don't give a certain amount to get something back; we simply give. love doesn't lead us to chide or sulk when we feel the lack of it from our partner. it shows us how to bring life and fire back to their soul, to love them back to their true selves and wellness. so, do i adore quotations of love? i do; but for me love is more... it is the greatest power we can ever know. anything else is a cruel and empty distraction.

i love you, peter b. parker.

he let himself get lost in your words, in your love, paying no attention to anything else.

entry 136:

if any one moment in time anchored my soul, creating a tether to this plane of reality, it was the moment i fell in love with you. i realized that i had a protector born of pure love and how could i not love that? how could i not love all that you are? you are the rope and knot to this vessel now in safe mooring. for that, i will forever be yours. in these words i hope you find your truth.

i love you, peter b. parker.

entry 200:

i love you, peter b. parker.

and that was the last page. he took two things home that day. the photo and the journal.

"i love you, too, angel," he whispered on his way back home, to no one really. maybe to the wind, but either way, he knew you heard it.

[astrum-aetherium]

Henry's been living rent free in my head since I read TSH like four months ago- I cannot stop thinking about him and your blog is single handedly fueling my obsession with him so thank you so much really.

Anyways- I know Henry is definitely not the soft type of guy, but I do believe he could get just a tiny little bit softer than he usually is (sparingly) were he to find a person he really liked?? This is probably just my guilty and mostly out of character pleasure, but imagining him being all cold and harsh as he is for the most part and then suddenly doing or saying that one unexpectedly tender thing out of nowhere (even in a nsfw context, that's even better) and then going back to his usual self in a heartbeat makes me go uughhh

i wholeheartedly agree with you. on so many levels. it's very easy to cross the utterly restrictive OOC boundaries when speaking/writing about him, since all we seem to know is how stoic and cool and constantly displeased he is (although i could impugn this very well — take the glass shard scene or his staying at the hospital with richard as an example).

us as readers, we cannot help but crave a little softness from him sometimes, and i understand that completely. i'm always willing to indulge us all in a scenario like that. in a better world, on slightly OOC premises, he would make an evidently detached, but caring partner. coincidentally, i have been thinking about just that for the past couple of days, despite formerly being convinced it would be entirely impossible to conduct a healthy relationship with that man (which, yeah, if we strictly stick to canon, it still would be, but that's the beauty about fiction — we get to brush past and alter some things to our enjoyment).

therefore, yes — with the opportunity to alter his character just a tiny bit, i believe he would let his soft side flash every now and again. i don't think it would be in any form of physical touch, however, as he certainly isn't one to put his feelings on display, especially in public (in private, however, that'd be a completely different story). it would mostly be symbolic with him. for instance, imagine it being your birthday. as your partner, he would know you inside and out — he is highly attentive and perceptive, especially when it comes to those closest to him, and he would absolutely be well-versed in anything that you might like, or mention liking. he would know. loving is knowing. therefore, for your birthday, he would not only think of and buy you the best and most thoughtful present imaginable, but he would also buy five more to give to the rest of the group under the pretense of "i know her/him/them better than all of you combined, which is why all of your gifts have already been taken care of".

that is how his affection would shine through — acts of service. being spoiled by him is another tremendous part of that. i have already approached this topic in two previous posts, but to summarize: he absolutely would be willing to spoil you in any way imaginable, as it would be the only plausible way for him to prove the depth of his feelings for you (along with kisses and other physical endeavors, which would exclusively be saved for private settings).

in addition, i feel like he would let himself be swayed more and more despite his dogmatic position, meaning he would be willing to comply or enter compromises, especially for you. orrr... to approach the aspect of him portraying the merest smidge of sweetness and immediately reverting to his stoic self — imagine a strand of hair having fallen loose from your hairstyle, or it simply veiling your hair too much, to the point where he would press the book he might be holding under his arm mid-conversation and brush it aside for you with a light smile, only to immediately proceed with whatever it is he had been occupied by previously.

from a nsfw standpoint, his care would mostly show in his being very forthcoming and reassuring to you (asking for consent, asking if you're in any discomfort during a position, checking up on you during rougher activity), and aftercare (bringing you towels/water/a cigarette (lol), proposing to go pee, holding you on occasion if matters had been overly rough and you might still be trembling).

he would also totally be the type to run his fingers through your hair and even play with it. i don't care how OOC some people believe this to be — i need it. sometimes a girl just needs something of the sort.

[oneofafew]

@thestrangerblog

Short request- Floating Candles Date with Sebastian.

I enjoyed writing this one, there is so much more I could do with it but I tried to keep it short for the time being.

I am loving these requests by the way.

Please excuse the lack of spellcheck and punctuation in this one, I wrote it at 1am when the inspo struck.

It was a note like any other completely unassuming she instantly recognised Sebastian’s hand writing and found herself smiling despite how utterly exhausted she was feeling, carefully she unfolded the parchment and read

Meet me by the bridge into the Forbidden Forest tonight

Love Sebastian x

As She glanced over it two things jumped out at her, the first was the very odd and vague location though by now she was used to his random escapades what struck her the most was the way he’d signed it with his “love” and a kiss at the end of his name, her brow furrowed as she tried to discern what it could mean, was he messing with her?

Sure the two of them had been flirting back and forth all year, casual comments and fleeting touches but she’d brushed it off and almost completely convinced herself it was purely friendly banter, surely if he was to ask her out it wouldn’t be to the edge of the forest, then again, this was Sebastian Sallow we where talking about.

She didn’t need to think on it, come the evening she’d already donned her warmer cloak and set off toward the castle gates making sure to keep out of the way of the prowling prefects, the night was still and a warm breeze ruffled her hair as she approached the location, she vaguely remembered following a similar path with Jackdaw and shuddered at the memory of what lay inside the forest, what on earth did Sebastian have planned?

As she approached the bridge she noticed a familiar figure leaning against the stone as she got nearer she noticed the smirk that was tugging not at all subtly at his lips and couldn’t help but grin in return

“Fancy seeing you here” he quipped standing up straight and approaching her his hands in his pockets his eyes were twinkling with mischief, he was definitely up to something

“You summoned” she said with a smile her eyes meeting his, something flickered within his own as he watched her

“Bring your wand?” He asked simply drawing his own to show her, as she didn’t know what a wand was

She cocked her head to the side with a grin “You said Forbidden Forest OF COURSE I brought my wand Sebastian” she replied flatly her voice dripping with playful sarcasm

“Alright smart arse” he rebuffed her giving her a playful nudge “do you trust me?” He asked positively bouncing on his heels with anticipation

She eyed him suspiciously “that’s debatable” she said too distracted with drawing her own wand to notice the waver in his gaze at her words

He swallowed his eyes raking over her face before he cleared his throat “give us some light will you?” He asked, although he’d tried to sound casual his voice betrayed him and he felt his cheeks heat as she regarded him suspiciously

“Why can’t you do it?” She asked gesturing toward his wand

Sebastian sighed softly shaking his head “just cast the damn spell, you’ll see” he teased

She considered him for a moment before shrugging and holding up her wand “Lumos!”

Instantly a group of floating candles appeared above their heads, she glanced wearily at Sebastian who was positively beaming, like a child showing their parent a new drawing, before she could question it however the candles started to float away from them, she felt a hand on hers and before she had time to process that action, she was being pulled along the path toward the forest.

The two walked hand in hand the candles lighting the way, the sound of the grass beneath them crunching and the evening air gently blowing through the trees filling the silence around them

“Sebastian what-“ she began her curiosity getting the better of her

Sebastian squeezed her hand reassuringly “shh you’ll see” he said his voice laced with a quiet excitement

As they rounded a corner the candles stopped her eyes fell on something she hadn’t expected to see, an iron table with two chairs perched at the edge of the forest the candles spread out around the set up casting a warm glow around it she noticed there was a picnic basket on the table and she turned to look at Sebastian who was looking at her expectantly

“I thought it was about time I took you on a proper romantic date” he said proudly gesturing toward the table and chairs

She regarded him for a moment vaguely aware of the butterflies that had now taken up residence in her chest before breaking into a smile “I suppose some would consider this a romantic location” she mused out loud, instantly regretting it when she saw his smile falter slightly “I mean it IS very you” she clarified taking the seat he’d pulled out for her

“Do you like it?” Sebastian asked taking the seat opposite her, his eyes boring into hers awaiting approval, he was all too aware how he looked like a love sick puppy and was secretly thankful he’d picked such a secluded location.

She nodded tucking her hair behind her ears looking around her “it’s beautiful” she said reaching across the table to take his hand in hers her heart thudding violent against her rib cage as she did so his fingers threaded through hers and they sat in comfortable silence for a moment

“Right, check out this haul” Sebastian said suddenly sitting up straight and opening the pick if basket to reveal all manner of cakes and pastries from the kitchen “very generous those elves in the kitchens when you’ve got a Gaunt by your side” he said with a wink as she peered into the basket ladened with treats and chuckled softly.

After eating their fill of sweet treats they sat and talked for what seemed like hours before they decided it would be wise to head back to the castle as they stood a chill descended upon them and she shivered slightly, Sebastian was by her side in an instant draping his robe over her shoulders with a grin

“I’ve always wanted to do that” he said adjusting it on her shoulders his hands lingering there as their eyes met and they shared in their grins

Sebastian’s hands fisted in the fabric of the robe and tugged her closer she let out of a soft gasp and he couldn’t help the smirk that tugged at his mouth as he eyes flickered from hers to her own lips, he stole himself only for a moment before bending his head and kissing her his lips barely grazing hers until she pushed forward and all bets were off, his hand moved from her robe to the back of her head his fingers threading through her hair he felt her arms wind their way around his neck and heard a soft moan escape her only serving to spur him on further

Dizzy and breathless the two broke apart, her cheeks where visibly flushed even in the pale moonlight

“We should get back … before they lock the gates” she said breathlessly after a moments silence

Sebastian nodded taking her hand in his pulling her close to him as they set off back to the castle “you know, I reckon the undercrofts free right now” he said with a grin watching her face as she gave him a knowing look

“I dare say it is” she mused feigning innocence as they descended the steps into the castle earning herself a nudge.

The two shared a glance and broke out into identical smiles Sebastian eagerly tugging her toward the Undercroft mentally thanking every god he could think of that he’d come across that particular spot in the Forest.

[askmadcomcrew]

I don’t know if this has been asked yet, but 2b, what’re your thoughts on everyone else here?

It probably has, but to be entirely honest, so much time has passed since such questions were commonplace that I forget if it ever did. Never hurts to give it another go, I suppose.

Hank, as I've said many times before, is one of the most fascinating people in Nevada. I truly am lucky to be able to work with him as closely as I do, and privileged as well. Any other individual would long since have met their doom. I think I am one of the only people in Nevada who truly knows Hank, but perhaps that is just wishful thinking.

Sanford and Deimos are my trusted and decorated operatives. Reliable, intelligent...Mostly, and resourceful. I can always count on them to get the job done, as much as they may squabble amongst themselves. They are some of the few Nevadeans I've seen who have formed a close bond, a rare sight around here. They bring some real life into an otherwise dry, boring, and soulless plane of existence. For as much grief as I give them, I am grateful to them and I feel I do not do enough to express it.

Dr. Christoff...What a shame, really. If you can believe it, I hold a great deal of respect for the man. I consider him an intellectual equal. He is one of the smartest men in Nevada, but unfortunately he is blinded by ego and his self-assigned mission. He is hardly the savior he claims to be, but rather a force of death and destruction. Also, I am entirely convinced his reason for disliking me is simply because I am better at his job than he is, and he cannot stand it. Unfortunately, he has rejected all of my offers of alliance, which are usually met with insults and vague threats.

Dr. Hofnarr, or what remains of him, stands to be the single most dangerous force in Nevada next to Hank or the Savior. I suppose just calling him "Tricky" would be the most apt name for him. He is completely and utterly insane, and has a very unhealthy obsession with Hank in particular. I do not know what caused this obsession, and neither does Hank, but it has definitely proven to be problematic when it comes to SQ operations. He is one of the biggest threats, but thankfully it seems he has little interest in my other operatives, and Hank can at least hold his own. If I could ever get my hands on his corpse, I would love to perform some experiments on it.

Dr. Crackpot, the third of the still surviving major Nexus scientists is a...Small, fickle, and often pathetic man. At least that is what I gathered from the files I stole from the Nexus Core. I never met the man personally, and frankly I do not wish to. He and his cult are ultimately a footnote in the grand scheme of things, and his quest to spread this word of "buoyancy" will be quickly snuffed out if it ever becomes a significant problem. I am more than happy to let him continue to squabble in the sewers.

The Sheriff, once a coward, now the formidable leader of MERC. Previously allied with Dr. Christoff, he has made somewhat of a name for himself in Nevada, much to his dismay I can imagine. Were it not for Hank's...Dislike for him, I would have offered him to join SQ, but I suppose it is for the better that he remains a separate and independent entity. The Sheriff is known for being quite the turncoat, very willing to switch to whoever he believes is on the winning side. I'd rather not wake up staring down the barrel of a revolver to someone I put trust in.

Phobos...Is dead. Hopefully, for good. I have no love for the man, nor respect either. He and his regime were a blight on Nevada, and I was happy to do my part in dismantling it. The Nexus Core still exists, but on the fringes of Nevada, barely held together and struggling to reform. Phobos never has and never will be a God. Nevada is a better place without him in it. My only regret is that I could not have been there to watch Hank, Sanford and Deimos deliver the final blow and send him back to Hell where he belongs.

The Auditor is, of course, my greatest adversary. An intellectual equal, but a victim of hubris, much like Dr. Christoff if you think about it. He is dangerous, smart, cunning, and ruthless. Nearly indestructible by all forms of conventional weaponry. But I am confident that, in time, and with careful planning, I can defeat him and his agency. The AAHW may seem endless and unbeatable, but with the help of my benefactor and Nevada's most dangerous mercenary, I like my odds. He doesn't scare me, to put it plainly and simply. His defeat is all but assured.

[seriousbrat]

Ah, so glad you answered them, it did pick up my mood.

One could argue that James is the one who can't flirt to save his life, seeing that it was he who canonically decided to shoot his shot while tormenting his suitor's best friend. But alas, I prefer to think that he was generally more charming than that. Also worth remembering Peter seduced every single classified piece of information about the Triwizard Tournament out of Bertha. Sirius may call it pathetic, but some people like a guy who hangs on every word you say and thinks the sun shines out of your ass. Maybe in his maturity he mastered and refined the art of simping.

I can see that Remus would flirt accidentally. I think he'd be so utterly convinced nobody would or should ever like him that he'd say suggestive things without even registering the effect they may have on people. Stuff like "let's hang out just the two of us" or "I can take you to see the grindylows" and genuinely mean he wants a quiet platonic hang-out, or to show someone a cool water demon.

I actually had two more questions, but as I wrote them, I realised they were answered in your fic! One of them was who was the most likely to have an affair with a muggle (I don't want to spoil this for anyone), and the other one was who was the most likely to have exciting summer flings. My hot take that I'll leave you to agree or disagree is that I think Remus would do most of his (very scarce) dating during the summer. People with commitment issues always seem to choose dates with obvious obstacles that will eventually justify ending the relationship (like dating someone who lives really far or is always busy). I think Remus would do that to ease his own guilt for daring to go out with someone. So brief summer romances that he can forget all about and pretend it was someone else would suit him fine. Hah, look at me, blabbering on. I'll have to go think of more questions for you now, but it may be that I finally exhausted them.

I'm glad to hear it helped a little! Hope things are better ❤️

I will say I think circa fifth year James would not have been good at flirting, because let's face it, few 16 year olds are, and especially when it came to Lily he probably had no idea how to approach her so it all went terribly. He was pretty charming, though, and likely got better as he got older.

Great point about Bertha Jorkins and Peter!! I definitely think this is something that would have come with age, though, and with no longer being an awkward teenage boy. I've always written Peter as very observant so he probably picked things up throughout the years, and I think his ability to ingratiate himself was definitely something he'd learnt early on. Btw I absolutely love the idea of Peter winning Bertha over through being a massive simp, that makes SO much sense.

About Remus-- I think that makes sense! I don't know how much socialising he'd be doing with Muggle girls in his town, but maybe if he was dragged along by Hope to a summer fete or something he'd meet a nice girl and they'd go out a couple times! I still think he'd feel incredibly guilty about it all. Without spoiling anything, Remus has got a little mini-romance coming up in this next part, actually!

[scyllas-revenge]

I'm so depressed rn about dating/marriage/the future, literally cried yesterday, I just don't think its going to happen. I'm not going to ask a guy out because I don't have the confidence for that and if he said yes it would always be in the back of my head that he's just settling for me cuz if he wanted me he'd have asked. I've never even been on a date, ever! Didn't even go to my own senior prom cuz I didn't wanna have to sit alone all night lol

Recently I was texting a guy and he was so sweet and gentlemanly but I totally ruined that. He came into my work to use our services and I freaked out and started telling my colleague that I wish he wouldn't come here and like why is he here and stressing about him being there. And I'm pretty sure he overheard and doesn't understand that I didn't actually mean any of that I just have an anxiety disorder and freaked out. Then my colleague started laughing about an older man who asked me out (he was 65 wth!) And I think other actually nice guy thinks we were laughing about him.

Now at work his entire demeanor has changed he seems so down and he legit glares at me when saying goodbye on the way out (my desk is by the door) So being at work is depressing because all I can think about at work is how this man was actually so sweet and so nice to me and I with my big mouth and idiot anxiety just disrespected him so much and clearly hurt his feelings which he didn't deserve. And I don't wanna try to talk to him about it because we don't really know each other that well and what am I supposed to say 'hey did you hear me talking about you and about how I want you to go away-yeah I didn't mean that it was just anxiety pls don't be upset-like wth I can't do that

Now I'm gonna pray every morning for God to keep my words so I don't be so damn stupid. I'm just really upset that I upset someone like that regardless of possible dating I don't even care I just care that I was inadvertently so mean like what kind of bullshit high school level behaviour was that ffs

Btw this is the anon from sotwk-I saw your comment and totally relate like its nice to know I'm not alone and others deal with this too but at the same time it's depressing as hell that this many people are having this problem, like it just reinforces the hopelessness. I feel like I'm sitting in a waiting room waiting for something that will never happen but I cant get out of the waiting room because I really want the thing y'know?

Apologies for the entire ass rant, I'm just so mad at myself rn

Hey anon! I'm really sorry you're going through all this. Giving advice isn't my strong suit, but I definitely understand the "sitting in a waiting room" feeling, and it sucks.

I spent a good chunk of my 20s like that, feeling stuck and alone and unable to stop crying or shake off my self-loathing. I was trapped waiting for things that would never happen and I was powerless to change that.

No, things aren't perfect now, and yes, I'm still very single, but the good news is I did manage to escape the "waiting room" feeling. It still creeps up every now and again, but I'm better able to recognize and fight it.

The first step was realizing I was depressed. Oh my GOD was I depressed. It feels ridiculous that I didn't notice at the time, but it had been creeping up on me so slowly that at some point it just became my new normal to cry multiple times a week. I was lethargic and detached and utterly convinced to the very core of my being that something was fundamentally wrong with me, and that I would never be loved and my whole life would pass me by with that same horrible sense of waiting. (I don't want to sit here giving armchair diagnoses or pretending to know all the details of your life, but it certainly looks to me like you have depression too.)

When I turned 30 it felt like a wake-up call- it's a new decade and something needs to change. The thought of my 30s slipping by just like a good chunk of my 20s really scared me.

So the second step for me was therapy. I don't know if you're in therapy now, or tried it and it didn't work, or if it's an option for you financially, but if you can give it a try, I really do think it will help. I can tell you're desperate to get all this off your chest and get answers and validation, and a good therapist will help with that way more than a tumblr ask box will! My therapist also connected me with a psychiatrist, because wow does medicine also help. It took some trial and error, but between the right meds and the right people to talk to, things really did improve.

It's hard, but I'm doing my best to try new things- new hobbies, social groups, clubs, anything- because I want to meet new people and have more meaning in my life. The disgusting cocktail of depression, anxiety, and executive dysfunction were keeping me from doing much of anything besides work and scrolling the internet, and that really intensified the feeling of being stuck in a waiting room, watching other people's lives move forward while i was sitting still. But being more active socially, trying new hobbies, even just being outside of my apartment more often, is giving me back some control. I even took an impromptu trip to Iceland, alone, and I could practically hear myself slamming the door of the waiting room behind me as I left!

I know none of the above rambling had anything to do with finding love, but personally, I kind of needed to take all of those steps before I could focus on anything else. And it wasn't that I "needed to stop looking for love and focus on other things, and love will come when you least expect it" - it was that if I didn't try to bring more meaning into my life, my depression was never going to get better.

And it wasn't that I "needed to love myself first or no one will ever love me" - it was that I had been spiraling for years and could hardly function if I didn't focus on my mental health. (So...maybe all that cliche advice isn't wrong. It's just usually not framed right.)

Because that's the thing- you're not unlovable or doomed to be alone or secretly fundamentally flawed or anything else your brain is telling you right now. What you are is a good person worthy of love and respect whose anxiety and depression are doing their best to get the better of her. They're in that waiting room with you, barring the door shut and telling you it's your fault, and you need to use any tools you can (therapy, medicine, guidance counseling, meditation, anything) to shut them up and kick the door down. Love isn't in that waiting room- it never was. It's beyond the door, in the real world, where you have agency and aren't powerless to change things.

Beyond dragging a waiting room metaphor way too far, I don't have much more advice, especially as far as romance goes. My own love life is nonexistent- I'm probably not the best person to get help from!

It sounds like you might be feeling too much anxiety to try dating apps, or you might not like the idea of them. And tbh I hate them too, but I bring them up because that was how I got my first real date at 24, as well as 99% of the other dates I've been on since. Even if the date sucks, it makes dating as a concept feel a bit less daunting- it's no longer this Big Significant Achievement, it's just a thing you've done before.

Anyway, I'm not sure if any of this very long response will help or not, but feel free to send me a message if you want to talk more. I'm wishing you all the best and am confident that things will get better!

[mortemoppetere]

TIMING: current LOCATION: a bar in wicked's rest PARTIES: @rn-zane & @mortemoppetere SUMMARY: emilio recruits zane to his plan to take down the good neighbors. CONTENT WARNINGS: none!

He’d been told — in no uncertain terms, and by more than one person — that he needed to learn when to ask someone for help. It wasn’t something he particularly liked doing, and it always made him feel a little too much like a failure, like he wasn’t strong enough to handle things on his own. Most of the time, he still avoided it until it was just a little too late. But he was getting better. He was trying to get better. For Teddy, for Wynne, for Nora, for Xó and Jade and all the people who gave a shit whether or not he lived or died. And maybe a little for himself, too.

Still… he felt he needed to be careful who he turned to, in this case. Nora and Wynne were utterly out of the question. He wouldn’t put either of them into danger, even if they’d both be more than willing to help. He wasn’t sure Jade would have much interest in helping him rescue a zombie, given her still-complicated feelings on the undead. Teddy would probably get a little too invested, and Emilio wanted to keep them out of the line of fire as best he could. There were still some people he could ask — people he knew would say yes.

People like Zane, for example.

He’d been doing a lot better with the training. Emilio would never admit it, but there was some pride in how much the vampire kept him on his toes during their practice fights these days. The fact that he was undead meant that he was one of Emilio’s more durable friends, too. (Or acquaintances. If asked, Emilio would say acquaintances.) The thing was, Emilio didn’t know how much buttering up he’d need. Zane was a good guy, but not one who seemed to enjoy walking into a fight. It might take some convincing. 

So, he invited him to a bar. He bought him a few beers. He did his version of schmoozing. He was bad at it, but there was a definite effort being made. It was probably a noticeable one, too.

—

Zane had been skeptical from the moment Emilio had reached out. Something was definitely up, obvious right from the moment the slayer actually initiated a meet up without making it sound like he was being forced to do so. After all this time, it had gotten easier to read between the lines when it came to Emilio, how a sarcastic insult was actually anything but and the way his actions were usually way more reliable than his words. Both were out of whack this evening. 

Now, Emilio was bringing over the third beer of the evening for Zane, who had politely finished the other two - it had felt rude to not drink it since drink buying seemed to literally be the slayer’s love language. Friendship language? Either way, Zane was usually the one mildly bullied into cashing out at the bar, ironically since he never bought anything alcoholic for himself, so this shuffle up of roles was already weird enough. The niceties though, not even vaguely laced with sarcasm or bundled up in the form of an insult? Too weird. 

“Okay, out with it,” Zane confronted him the second the beer hit the table, pushing the bottle designated for him back towards Emilio. Two disgusting drinks was his quota. “You’re being really weird so what’s up? Are you dying or something? Is this a pity thing because of my dad? Honestly, if you make one more attempt at a compliment, I’ll find someone to perform an exorcism on you.” 

—

Zane was more observant than Emilio tended to give him credit for. He still probably wouldn’t make much of a detective — he was much better suited as a nurse — but he knew how to spot the difference in someone’s behavior. Emilio wasn’t a subtle man, was built to be explosive and brash and loud even if he wasn’t built to be any of those things for his own benefit, but his type of ‘not subtle’ still wasn’t easy for the average person to read. He thought the only person alive who might have been able to unpack what this kind of behavior from Emilio might mean was Rhett, then he amended that thought with a twist in his stomach at the realization that his brother no longer knew him as well as he once had. No one alive was fluent enough in Emilio Cortez to unpack this without help translating.

But Zane came pretty close.

Emilio pulled a face, shoving the beer towards Zane again with a quiet grumble. He’d hoped to get Zane a lot drunker before they got to this point but, in honesty, he didn’t even know how much alcohol it would take to get a dead man buzzed. Grabbing his own drink — his usual cheap whiskey — he downed it with a sigh.

“Probably not dying any faster than I was last week,” he replied. “And I don’t do pity. You should know that.” Pity, as far as he was concerned, was an insult. And not the kind of insult he usually delivered to Zane. “I don’t need an exorcism, either. I…” He trailed off, grimacing as if saying the words was physically painful. “I need a favor.” 

—

Zane raised a knowing eyebrow as Emilio faltered, face screwing up in annoyance at his plans - whatever they even were - being thwarted. For a moment, he had toyed with the possibility of the slayer actually just wanting to be nice but it just didn’t make sense. Weird compliments and drink buying wasn’t his style of nice. Whether Emilio would admit to them being proper acts of kindness or not, teaching Zane to fight or punching his dad, those were the things he did to prove he cared. Hence, tonight being completely and totally off. 

Instead of pushing the beer back again, knowing he’d probably lose in a battle of stubbornness, Zane grabbed the bottle but made no move to actually drink from it. Waiting patiently for Emilio to work up the nerve to actually reply with something other than annoyed noises, slight worry growing in the pit of his stomach. He’d mostly been joking with the proposed reasons for the slayer’s strange behavior but for a moment, wondered if it was true. If there really was something horrible looming on the horizon. It was a relief when Emilio finally quelled that worry, helping loosen the tension in Zane’s shoulders some. 

It was hard, more so than he could have imagined, not to laugh. Zane knew that it would be among the worst possible reactions to the request but honestly, all this to ask a favor? If he was supposed to know that Emilio didn’t do pity, then it felt just as obvious that Zane didn’t need much, if any, convincing to offer his help. “That’s all? I don’t mind the hang out and honestly, it was fun watching you try to not insult me for the past hour but…” His tone softened, joking tint vanishing as he continued. “You know you could have just asked, right? Because whatever it is, of course I’ll help.”

Was that true? ‘Whatever’ was a very broad statement and Zane both knew and had seen Emilio do some rather unseemly things but… yeah, it was true. Maybe because he hoped the slayer knew him well enough at this point to not ask for a favor involving straight up death or maybe just because he felt honored to even be asked to help. To be allowed to repay all the things Emilio had done for him so far. 

—

It was harder than it should have been. Most things were, for Emilio. Javier told him once, with a laugh and an arm tossed carelessly around his shoulder, that he must have just enjoyed making things more difficult for himself. And Emilio had rolled his eyes, had shrugged out from under that embrace, had refused to pay his tab and played it off as a silly thing, but he’d wondered if there was some truth to it. Wasn’t there some strange comfort in struggling? When things were easy, the paranoia crept in. When things were simple, he found himself wondering whether or not he was walking into a trap, found his palms itching and his neck sweating. Adversity was familiar. He’d spent all his life struggling against one thing or another, fought tooth and nail just for the right to exist in a family that might have been better off without him and knew as much. 

So, he made things harder. He refused to ask for help until it became impossible not to, he dragged his heels in the dirt even when there was no reason to do so. He fought and thrashed against hands meant to help him, snapped his teeth and reared his head against anyone who tried to make his life even a little easier. It was supposed to be hard. He understood it when it was hard. Kindness was a great, unknown entity, and Emilio had never done well with those.

But his friends had been through a lot recently. They had all been struggling. And if Emilio went out on his own, if he got himself killed because he was too goddamn stubborn to ask for help, wouldn’t they ache with it? Wouldn’t they mourn and grieve and blame themselves? He didn’t give much of a shit about his own life, but he cared about them. He cared about not piling on when they were all already going through a lot. So he bought Zane a drink and he buttered him up and he asked for a favor.

And it turned out, he’d made that harder than it needed to be, too.

Zane didn’t even ask to hear what it was first. He offered to help like it was easy, like it was nothing. And Emilio felt… undeserving. Like he was reaping without sowing, like he was stealing something that belonged to someone else. He’d done nothing to earn this kind of loyalty, had he? He’d made Zane’s life pretty goddamn difficult the entire time he’d known him, and Zane was ready to help with anything Emilio needed, anyway. His chest felt tight in a different way than it usually did; he wasn’t sure what to call it.

“It’s… for a case,” he said uncertainly. “I found something. Something — big, maybe. Some kind of…” He searched for the word, frustration flashing briefly across his face when he couldn’t find it. “People, a group of them, who are… taking people. Uh, nonhuman people. Locking them away. My client, she’s got a friend in there, but I want…” He trailed off, the word want feeling strange on his tongue. He didn’t usually let himself do much of that. Still, he steeled himself and continued. “I want to get them all out. And I think if I do it alone, I’ll probably end up dead, and a lot of people will be pissed at me for it, so…” He trailed off, letting it hang. After a moment, he added, “You can say no. I can ask someone else.” He wouldn���t. If Zane said no, Emilio would go at it alone. But Zane didn’t need to know that.

—

There was still some hesitation, as if Emilio himself was still coming to terms with the fact that he was actually asking for help. Where Zane usually had a bit of trouble letting silence just be in a conversation, he did know the importance of it. Of letting thoughts form or information get processed - after witnessing a doctor barrel through a delivery of bad news, never allowing just a moment of silence to pass, he’d sworn to take notice of the importance of silence. So he just leaned in and waited, then listened. 

The case sounded big, with high stakes. Someone was kidnapping nonhumans and even though Emilio mentioned them being locked away, Zane couldn’t help but wonder if this client’s friend was still alive. Couldn’t help but wonder if that was maybe better than the alternative, a dark basement where hungry victims curled up, confused and afraid and looking at him with blame and desperation in their eyes… “Okay,” he responded, mostly to break the cycle of eerie memories, processing the information. “Definitely right on people not wanting you to run into certain death.” Including Zane. 

Emilio was backtracking, or trying to. He had to know that there was no going back now, not after admitting that this case would get him killed without help. “I already said I would help. In any way I can. Not exactly a detective or much of a fighter but… if you think I can be useful, I’m in.” It scared him, of course it did. Going into a dangerous situation wasn’t even really the unnerving part, more so the thought of not being able to help. To be there as some sort of backup and fail. “Just tell me what you need me to do.”

–

“It’s not certain death,” Emilio argued, though he wasn’t really sure why. The idea of Zane helping only because he wanted to prevent Emilio from meeting an ‘untimely’ (was it really untimely if you’d been ready to die all your life?) end left a sour taste in his mouth. He wasn’t the sort of person people ought to put their lives on the line for. He knew that. If anything, it was Emilio who was supposed to be doing the sacrificing, Emilio who was years past his expected date of expiration. No one ought to die for the benefit of a dull knife. That certainly included Zane.

But here he was, asking anyway. He had no intention of letting the vampire sacrifice himself for this cause, of course, but knowing that Zane probably would if it came down to it scared him a little. Part of him wanted to backtrack, wanted to take back the request and walk out, but he knew Zane well enough to know it wouldn’t work. Now that he knew about it, he was involved. He was going to stay involved. Emilio had known as much when he’d invited him out. 

“You agreed without knowing what I was going to ask,” he pointed out. “You can back out if you want to. I’m just saying, you know, don’t… Agree to something you don’t want to do just to keep from pissing me off or something.” That wasn’t why Zane was agreeing. They both knew that. But the real reason — that Zane was his friend, that he wanted Emilio safe — felt too big to say aloud. “I don’t need a detective. I’ve got that covered. I’m good at what I do.” He was, despite what people seemed to think. “And I’m a good fighter, too. I just need… someone I can trust. I’ve got a few people on the inside I’m working with, but I don’t know if…” He trailed off, letting it hang. He was pretty sure Daiyu wouldn’t hang him out to dry — hunters tended to maintain some kind of a code, and Daiyu was a good one — but he didn’t trust the necromancer as far as he could throw him. He needed someone he knew wouldn’t screw him over. Zane fit that bill. “I’m meeting with them to go over a plan. If you mean it, if you really do want to help… You can come with me. We’ll figure out how to get those people out. And, I don’t know, maybe we don’t die.”

—

The mere fact that Emilio was asking for help seemed like the only necessary contradiction to that statement. If he hadn’t been more than just a bit worried, the slayer probably would have muddled through, shown up to their next practice with a new wound or slightly creakier joints. “If you say so.” It didn’t matter to Zane either way - not when Emilio had willingly walked into a room full of vampires, an elder, because he’d asked him to. At the time, it had definitely been more for the sake of the humans down there but Zane liked to think that if the same scenario was presented now, a part of Emilio had been there to save his ass, too. 

And he had gotten himself stabbed fully through the shoulder which on its own was enough to earn him at least one giant favor. 

“I did,” Zane deadpanned but the excuses, the backtracking, prattled out anyway. He huffed out a quiet laugh at the thought of agreeing just to not piss off Emilio - it was never that serious but the slayer definitely made a big deal out of pretending everything Zane did pissed him off. “Is there a way to keep from pissing you off?” he countered, cocking an eyebrow. “Because I haven’t found it yet.”

Being sarcastic, making jokes that would make a bystander think the two of them hated each other's guts, that was easy. As much as Zane kept trying to learn more about the slayer, every bit of serious conversation they had always seemed to hurt - terrifying, since he guessed he’d barely scratched the surface of Emilio’s damage. It came with perks alongside the emotional toll, like now having the certainty of the slayer’s trust. No small feat. “I like the not dying part,” Zane agreed, less unnerved now at the prospect of there being a team and a plan. “So for the third time, I’m in.”

—

Emilio rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up in a brief show of frustration. “Is not very mature,” he said sullenly, looking the very picture of maturity himself as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. If he could see himself, in this moment, he might have been reminded of Flora when she was told no, of the way her tiny brow furrowed and her small lips pulled into a frown. It was probably a lot cuter on a toddler. 

In any case, he knew he owed Zane for this. This was no small ask, no tiny request. This was the kind of thing that could end poorly. It was the kind of thing that probably would end poorly. But Emilio asked, and Zane said yes. He had to believe that that made it okay. He had to let himself believe that.

“You should really… not do that,” he said. “Someday, maybe I ask you to do something you really don’t want to do. If you say yes before I ask, you’ll be stuck with it. And then what?” Zane asked if there was some way to not piss Emilio off, and Emilio let out a laugh. I’m always pissed off, he could say. I don’t think I’m anything at all if I’m not angry. Aren’t there worse things to be? Doesn’t it weigh less? But he didn’t want Zane to give him that look, so he only shrugged. “Probably not.”

He’d done his part here, hadn’t he? He gave Zane an out — more than one, even. If Zane didn’t take it and something happened to him, was Emilio absolved of blame? Could he ever be? He sighed, nodding his head. “All right,” he relented. “Yeah. You’re in, then. I’ll let you know when we’re meeting. You can come along, you can… help come up with a plan. You’re better at those than I am.” Most people were. Emilio’s plans only ever ended in disaster.

—

There was no trying to hide the quirk of his lips at Emilio’s brief tantrum and for a moment, Zane allowed himself to be amused. He wouldn’t be reprimanded, not after the slayer had spent the better part of this evening playing nice to a disconcerting point. “You’re the old one,” he replied simply, smile growing. The moments were always fleeting but he reveled in them all the same, the ones where he could pretend Emilio wasn’t broken and Zane could do nothing to fix it. That they were just buddies with regular troubles, ones that hadn’t met under the threat of death. 

It never lasted and this moment was no exception, joking thrown outside to make it clear how reckless the decision to help was. “I don’t think you’d ask me to do something I really didn’t want to do,” Zane answered honestly, somber. “And if you did, you’d have a good reason.” He’d never ask for a selfish reason - Zane wasn’t sure this man even knew how to be selfish and it was to his detriment. If there ever came a time where Emilio asked something completely unreasonable, Zane would say yes, knowing it would be for a good cause. He just wanted to do something worthy. 

“I thought you were done with the compliments,” Zane jabbed, even if he knew that one had been genuine, giving Emilio an out from this weird setting of kindness he’d found himself in. “But yeah, alright. That settles it.” He paused. “You do know I like… hate beer, right?”

—

“And you’re the one who will live forever. You should learn to be mature now, save yourself time later,” Emilio shot back, rolling his eyes again. He didn’t add the obvious — that there would come a time, probably in the very near future, when Emilio would no longer be around to offer Zane advice or drag him into trouble. Emilio’s presence in the vampire’s life was destined to be a brief one; they both knew that, even if Zane was far less fond of admitting it. 

Zane had a lot of faith in him. Too much, probably. Emilio was selfish, sometimes. There’d probably come a time when he did ask Zane to do something Zane wasn’t comfortable with, probably come a day when his single-minded focus on avenging people dead and buried would clash with Zane’s inherent goodness. Maybe that was a bridge they’d cross when they came to it, though. Maybe by then, Zane would know how to say no and mean it. Emilio could only hope.

He snorted, rolling his eyes. “Not much of a compliment. I’m shit at plans.” Most of what Emilio did was of the ‘act first, think never’ variety. It wasn’t exactly ideal for something like this. He nodded as Zane agreed again, letting the quiet settle until the vampire broke it. The words elicited another quiet snort from the slayer, and then an actual chuckle. There was something undeniably hilarious about Zane choking down beer after beer just because he was too polite to tell Emilio he hated the stuff.

Another laugh bubbled up at the thought. “Jesus Christ,” Emilio huffed, rolling his eyes and reaching across the table. He took the beer and slid it back towards himself. “Next time, I’m buying you a goldfish or something.”

—

It was still an eerie thought, living forever. Zane really didn’t like to spend time on the notion, it made his insides feel all scratchy and uncomfortable. How did one even begin to come to terms with immortality? Well, at least he had plenty of time to figure that out which meant he could continue to ignore it for now. “Maybe when I reach my thirties,” he offered instead with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Maybe forcing Emilio to warm up to him had been a bad idea from the start. Aside from the obvious conflict of the man literally being born to kill things like Zane, it was a doomed thing. He was fighting a losing battle in trying to fix something that wasn’t his to fix and even if it had been, probably was beyond fixing anyway. For what was basically the start to some strange, found family, Emilio was an iffy choice. But maybe it was worth it just for these moments, for an actual laugh that wasn’t tinted with the usual self-deprecation. 

“Alright, laugh it out just because you don’t know how to be polite,” Zane huffed, no real offense in his voice. Tossing a napkin at Emilio as the laughter continued, he stood up with a fond roll of his eyes. “I’m going to get something that doesn’t taste like shit,” he announced, shaking his head at the proposed option for ‘next time.’ It was nice when Emilio forgot to feel that he was doomed and let himself talk about next times. “If you get me a goldfish, I’m naming it Emilio.”

[luminouslywriting]

Oh honey, honey! What have you done to my mind now that you have said that maybe Rosie is hiding his feelings for Ruth? You have given me an excellent opportunity to tell you that I have been thinking about it since I read chapter 11.

The boy was in love with her from the get-go. They were best friends, and at 8 years old, he made her that beautiful Valentine’s Day card and gave her chocolate because he was going to marry her. At 13, Ruth was the only girl he wanted to kiss! You cannot tell me that the poor boy, embarrassed as he was, did not try his very hardest to apologize to Ruth after her project scattered into pieces following his failed attempt to kiss her. It was Ruth who did not accept his apology because that kiss ruined her grades. During that time, educating girls was not considered that important. Girls were expected to learn the basic things at school, then get married and have children. But Ruth was not that kind of girl; she dreamed of being the best she could be, and in her mind, Rosie shattered her dream. She didn’t accept that it was done by accident.

Rosie was as proud as she was, so after countless attempts to apologize, he gave up and started treating her as she treated him. But that didn’t erase his feelings for her. Quite frankly, it is possible that Ruth buried her feelings for Rosie deep down because she found it unacceptable to have feelings for someone she supposedly despised.

Even though they were rivals and “disliked” each other, you can’t convince me that they didn’t still find each other very attractive while growing up or admire each other's intelligence. When they entered law school, they definitely secretly thought, “Yes, you made it,” about each other. Ruth definitely disliked all of Rosie’s girlfriends, and he despised Ruth’s fiancé. But their real feelings came out when they were arguing, in the form of sexual tension that was so palpable and noticeable to everyone around them but themselves.

So these are my thoughts. Hopefully I didn’t overwhelm you.

Love you so much 🥰🥰

Nonny, I have been STEWING on this reply for DAYSSS!!! This is literally the most amazing message I've ever been sent??? It's so flattering and kind when you guys obsess over the stuff just as much as I do haha!

"The boy was in love with her from the get-go. They were best friends, and at 8 years old"—YES YES YES

And you're so right, he did try his best to apologize. The unfortunate flaw of Ruth's (singular of course), is that she's utterly stubborn. So if you've angered her, expect to be on her shit list for the rest of your life haha.

Ruth is not the stereotypical woman in the era that thinks about marriage and children all of the time. She wants more than she should and she knows it. She knows people are going to look down on her for it and people aren't going to support her dreams, and she doesn't need them haha. And as far as Ruth burying her feelings...I'd say that there was a healthy level of hate and that if there was ever a person that Ruth THOUGHT she'd marry, it was Robby before everything went down. But the lust and attraction that reawakens said feelings? Now that's another story because they're both utterly horny kids around each other.

"you can’t convince me that they didn’t still find each other very attractive while growing up or admire each other's intelligence. When they entered law school, they definitely secretly thought, “Yes, you made it,” about each other. Ruth definitely disliked all of Rosie’s girlfriends, and he despised Ruth’s fiancé."—UM ABSOLUTELY!!?? Listen, Ruth and Robby ENJOY having a rival who really actually cares about them. And they've never approved or liked a single other boyfriend or girlfriend of the other person's and it's not just because of the hidden feelings. They're genuinely thinking that the other person could do better and this is beneath them.

And oh....that sexual tension. Nonny, you have NO FREAKIN' IDEA. It's so bad between the two of them. Where I'm at in the story is just past D-Day and these two just want to JUMP each other's bones at every given convenience but are stupidly avoiding their feelings haha.

[sweetmusingss]

Renee sighed softly when you opened the photo, feeling a little bad for not telling you about when she saw it. She didn’t want to spend her rare quality time with you talking about Dove, though. She glanced at the photo, shaking her head before taking your phone and shutting it off, putting it back to the side. “Can we maybe just have a phone-free night now? I know that your manager is going to probably take you away from me tomorrow and I don’t want to spend the last amount of time we have on our phones,” she pouted at you. Quite frankly, Renee was pissed at Dove for bringing this on and making things more complicated for you. She wondered if Dove was just trying to get a reaction out of her. She hated it because she definitely had.

I frown at her when she takes my phone, her not reacting to the photo and realizing that she probably already saw it and didn’t mention it. Maybe that was why she was so focused on her phone, she was annoyed by this entire situation, just like I knew she would be eventually. “I’m sorry... I’m bringing her up too much. It’s like every conversation we have is about her and my shitty company and all that... I’m sorry.” I swallow thickly, feeling like I’ve annoyed her and bothered her. Reneé didn’t ask to be dragged into a closeted pop star’s life, she didn’t want any of this and here I was, just showing her how godawful it was to date me, to be made a secret. “God, I suck at relationships. I’m so sorry.” I slide off her lap, assuming she wouldn’t want to be physical right now since I was convinced she was mad at me and hated me for bringing the mood down constantly, putting my head in my hands.

__

I blush lightly when hearing what you said to me, smiling softly at you. “I decided to have my Sandy moment like at the end of Grease,” I giggle softly. “I was hoping that you would like it. I wanted to give you a small taste of what it would be like when I dress up as Black Widow,” I smirk at you. “I wanted to dress up just for you, baby. How’s your night been going?,” I ask you, reaching across the bar and taking your hand in mine. The bar seemed kind of busy but not as hectic as when I was here during the weekend.

“Well, if you’re Sandy then please let me be Danny.” He immediately starts making you a sex on the beach, remembering that you liked that drink last time, making sure to put extra grenadine so it was extra pink and sweet. He slides it over to you, swallowing thickly when you mention Black Widow, that image still being so insanely sexy and if it was anything like this then he was utterly and truly fucked. “My night has been quite boring but now it is much much better. My night usually always gets better when a sexy blonde girl approaches me with a key.” He winks at you, smirking as he cracks open a beer, leaning on the bar, making it obvious that he wasn’t going to go wait on any other patrons now that you were here. “How was your nap, angel?”