#ruth sharpe

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 22 (Mastermind)—MOTA Fic

A/N: Also a fun chapter that I think you’ll all enjoy �� so let me know what you think and don’t forget that my requests are open for this fic!

Late May 1944

Ruth found that sleep was running away from her, far away—in the other direction as fast as it could.  And it wasn’t just because the invasion of Normandy was coming up and that was in and of itself stressful to every single person on the damn base, but more so for those who were planning the thing.  Her lack of sleep was very simple, really. 

After reaching the 28 missions, Rosie had insisted that he stay and the rest of the men could go home on their tour.  Which would have been fine and dandy, and Ruth probably would still be sleeping just fine—except for the fact that Abe had insisted on staying by Robby’s side. The boy had every opportunity and chance to go home and he didn’t want to go.  Didn’t want to leave Robby without a proper navigator.  Didn’t want to leave Ruth on her own with Liesel. 

So now Ruth was left with Robby and Abe still going up in the skies for godforsaken missions that always left her feeling worse than before.  Because surely, the more they went up, the more likely God would be to strike them down for challenging their good fortune and fate.  You don’t tempt God like that, you just don’t. And no amount of Ruth’s prayers were going to change that. 

That was her first problem.  Her second problem was Robert Rosenthal entirely.  Ever since the mission number had been changed, things had been off.  She’d been the same as always, clinging to her own biting remarks and sarcastic comments—the thrill of arguing with one another ever so appealing.  He had been the one to take a step back from all of that and be so sickeningly nice to her that there was almost no appeal in being mean to him anymore.  

But that wasn’t what was keeping her up at night. 

No, the thing that kept her up at night was that damningly haunting kiss that she was certain would linger in the back of her mind like some sort of tattoo or brand.  It never should’ve happened in the first place, heat of the moment be damned.  She shouldn't have propelled that or encouraged that sort of behavior, not when her reputation was already practically in shambles. 

She had heard what some of the new men had been calling her.  Rosenthal’s bitch.  Rosenthal’s whore.  As if she were some sort of property or object that belonged singularly to Robert Rosenthal—as if he could ever be so lucky to hold even a fraction of her time or affections in any universe. She hadn’t minded the names before, but the tie to Robby was more than enough to make her blood boil. 

That stupid Major with his stupid promotion and his stupid mustache and his stupid hair gel and his stupidly soft hands that she wished were touching her right now in this moment and goodness, she was feeling quite heated and damp and—

Ruth sat straight up in the bed.  Hell no, not today.  No more wet dreams about Robert freakin’ Rosenthal, not today, not ever.  No thank you, Lord.  It only took her a few seconds to glance at the clock and be annoyed.  It was far too early for the day to have started but she didn’t really have a choice now. 

Starting her prayers, she immediately prayed for the physical attraction to Robert Rosenthal to cease immediately—because that just wasn’t fair or right, after all.  After finishing up her prayers, Ruth hurried to dress. 

As soon as she had entered the bathroom, she found Liesel knocking at the door.  Ruth felt a modicum of guilt run through her—Liesel’s sleep shouldn’t suffer just because Ruth was feeling particularly horny.  God, maybe she should’ve just taken Bucky’s advice and gotten laid or something.  

“It’s early, you should get some sleep,” Ruth apologized quietly. 

“You said you’d help me with my English,” Liesel replied quietly. 

“That I did,” Ruth remembered with a nod.  “Should we head to the Mess Hall and I can help you there?” 

Liesel just gave a nod.  “That would be fine.” 

A few moments later, the two women found themselves in the Mess Hall—which was mostly deserted.  It would be at least another hour before breakfast was ready to be served to anyone, but they had English homework to do.  Ruth had just been in the middle of helping Liesel with a paragraph about a politician in England (they had chosen Winston Churchill), when Abe came sauntering over. 

“Hey!  I see Ruthie’s enrolled you in her early morning School Boot Camp!” Abe exclaimed, giving a large grin to Liesel. 

The two of them had become somewhat of friends within the last few months and Ruth was altogether certain that without Abe, Liesel would be even more reserved than she already was.  Liesel gave an innocent smile in Abe’s direction as he joined the family members at the table.  

“Is she always this bossy?” Liesel questioned, raising a brow. 

“From the day my mother discovered she was pregnant with her, yes,” Abe answered solemnly, earning himself a flick to the head from Ruth. 

“If I recall, I helped you with plenty of papers too, Mr. Math-Is-Better-Than-English.” 

“It makes more sense to me!  And I always said thank you!” Abe added in a defensive tone. 

Liesel grinned and gave a laugh.  “You both remind me of Sveta and Herman.”

At that, the teasing slightly died down.  Sveta and Herman were Liesel’s older siblings by two years.  They had been twins and as far as any of them knew, they were both dead now.  It was getting easier for Liesel to mention her family members, but still remained a somber topic amongst the group. 

“To be fair,” Ruth stated lightly.  “I argue with just about everyone I meet.” 

“And ne’er a truer statement has been made,” Came the familiar tone of Robert Rosenthal from a few feet away.  

Ruth almost gave a sigh.  There was just no escaping him—not in dreams and certainly not in reality.  But there he was, a grin on his face and some chocolate in hand for Liesel.  “Are you here to argue as well?” Ruth questioned, a smirk crossing her features. 

“I like to think I’ve gained some wisdom and know better than to argue with you.” 

“I’d argue that you haven’t learned that yet.” 

“No, I’m actually here with a message from Colonel Bennett.” 

At that, Ruth straightened up to attention.  “Of course.” She followed him a short distance away from the table, eyes expectantly set on him.  “What is it?” 

“They’re pushing back the invasion again.” 

A string and slew of curses that would have surely made her mother force her to be a nun spilled from Ruth’s mouth.  “Seriously?” She demanded, eyes twitching in annoyance at the thought.  

“Inclement weather means June will be the best bet.” 

“Inclement weather didn’t stop the Egyptians from chasing the Israelites.” 

“I’m not sure that’s your best analogy there, Ruth.” 

“Neither am I,” Ruth let out a slight huff, glancing back at Abe and Liesel doing homework together.  “Anything else?” 

“Yeah,” Robby said.  “They’re throwin’ a party.  A last hurrah for some of the guys before the invasion.” 

Ruth’s shoulders intensely deflated.  “A party before?  Doesn’t that seem a little preemptive to you?” 

“Well yeah, but I’m sure their thinking is that a lot of people will die so they might as well have some fun now,” Robby said, hands straying to his pockets as he rocked on his feet slightly.  

“Hm,” Ruth let out a sigh.  “Okay.  A party.  Fine.” 

“Civilians included.  That means that Liesel can come.” 

At that, Ruth gave a small smile and her gaze locked onto Liesel’s form.  “I’m sure she’ll love that.  Any chance I can convince you to help me babysit her and Abe?” 

He gave a grin.  “I was just about to offer my services in exchange for a dance.” 

Now this, going back to their original contract, Ruth could handle that.  Ruth gave a grin and turned to leave.  “Wear the other tie, not the beige one!” 

“Yes ma’am!” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth had long since finished getting ready for the dreaded party in which they would preemptively be celebrating the oncoming invasion of Europe.  It was in poor taste, at least to her lawyerly sensibilities.  She’d much rather be planning and wait to celebrate until after the day was won and they had actually stepped foot on the continent.  

Still, with hair coiffed to perfection and a vibrant red lip, Ruth was now helping Liesel painstakingly place the bow in her own hair.  “Well, what do we think?” Ruth leaned forward, staring at their reflections in the mirror. 

Liesel poked at one of her own cheeks, a frown at the freckles found there.  “I don’t suppose there’s anything you can do about these?” 

“Not at your age, darling,” Ruth grinned.  “I used to think the same thing about my own freckles.  Gangly things, but I grew into them.  And so will you, I promise.” 

Liesel gave a small nod, looking at her own reflection in the mirror.  “Do you think I look like mama?” 

Ruth’s hands stilled on Liesel’s shoulders, a pang of grief running through the girl.  “I think you look very much like your mother.  You’re both beautiful.” 

At that, Liesel’s smile widened.  “You think so?” 

“I know so,” Ruth didn’t dare press a kiss to Liesel’s cheek, if only so that the girl didn’t get lipstick all over her face.  Rather than do that, Ruth leaned forward and gave Liesel a squeeze, bright smile adorning her features.  A knock at the door sounded and Ruth glanced at the doorway.  “Now, I believe our dates are here.” 

Liesel gave a gag of disgust.  “I don’t think they count.” 

“No, they certainly don’t,” Ruth reassured her.  

True to Ruth’s words, both Abe and Rosie were dutifully waiting outside for both of the girls.  Ruth couldn’t help the slight smirk at the sight of both of them—matching navy ties on and hair slicked to the point of zero curls available.  

“Aww, well aren’t you the prettiest girl on the whole damn base!” Abe exclaimed, a grin on his face as he slung his arm around Liesel’s shoulder.  “Don’t worry, I’ll fight off any men that wanna dance with ya!” 

Liesel just gave him a pointed look, hands on her hips.  “Well you’re not 18 either so I’ll fight off any girls that try to dance with you too.” 

With Liesel standing there and hands on her hips, Robby couldn’t help the grin on his face.  It was clear as day the habits that she was picking up from Ruth and this was most certainly one of them.  Robby’s gaze flicked onto Ruth, who seemed relaxed and pleased with the situation. 

“You’ve done it now, Sharpe.  Turned her into a mini-Shark lawyer,” Robby gestured at Liesel. 

“Oh just give it a year.  I’ll have her wanting to do depositions in no time.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dance felt truthfully very monotonous.  Everyone knew why they were having a party now and not later.  And everyone was doing their best to mask the way that they felt about the entire thing.  Whether it be through drinking or flirting or dancing or conversation, people were absolutely pretending that the invasion wasn’t imminent.  That people wouldn’t die and it wouldn’t be a costly thing within a few days. 

“You could just relax.” 

“Hitler could surrender.” 

“What?” 

“I thought we were listing things with the same probability as me relaxing,” Ruth snarked, gaze falling on Jack Kidd. 

“Well it’s just that your part is fairly done for the planning.” 

“Perhaps,” Ruth retorted.  “I don’t understand how you can relax now though.  There’s still so much to be done.” 

“Has anyone ever told you that you worry too much?” Kidd questioned, taking a sip of his drink. 

“Everyone in my entire life.” 

“So maybe that oughta be a sign to you or something.” 

“I don’t believe in signs.” 

At that, Kidd just gave a snort.  “Well, clearly.  You’re ignoring all of the ones right in front of you.” 

Ruth couldn’t help but swivel her position, gaze falling on him curiously.  “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Cros mentioned a few things.” 

“I bet he did, the weasel.” 

“Well that’s not very nice.” 

“I’ve never cared about niceties.” 

“No, I guess you haven’t.” 

“I haven’t,” Ruth agreed.  “And if this is about Rosenthal—I don’t think I need a lecture on my boyfriend.” 

“Except for the fact that you’re walking around blind because it’s all an act.  I can’t figure out why the hell it is, but I truthfully don’t want to get involved.  Just figure your shit out, Sharpe.” 

“Noted.” 

Ruth really should have seen it all coming—Jack Kidd figuring things out.  She ruminated on it the rest of the party, annoyed by whatever Harry Crosby thought was going on between her and Robby.  What they had going was a great system of things—with emotions carefully tied off to the side in ribbons and presents that she didn’t have to touch. 

In fact, she was so focused on the singular comment about figuring things out that she hardly noticed when the party ended or when Abe offered to take Liesel back to the barracks.  She hardly noticed when she gave a nod and ended up just giving in.  She hardly noticed when Robby offered to walk her back and it wasn’t until they were walking back towards the barracks themselves that she even realized she had been so lost in thought. 

A soft elbow to her arm caught her attention.  “I think this is the quietest I’ve ever seen you.  Somethin’ wrong or just focusing on the war more?” Robby questioned. 

Ruth turned, dark eyes meeting his blue ones—and damnit, those eyes were like the ocean and she hated it.  “Sorry?” 

He grinned.  “You’re really thinking hard about something, aren’t you?” 

“Did you tell Crosby about our deal?” 

Her words caught him off guard and he nearly stopped short, eyes going wide at her.  “I mean—yeah, he knows, but—” 

“Why the hell would you tell him?!  I thought we agreed we weren’t telling anyone!  Now Kidd knows and he’s got questions and he told me to figure out my shit and I’m so beyond frustrated with you!” 

“I—” Robby’s voice tore off at the end and he just let out a heavy sigh, rubbing at his eyes in annoyance.  “I didn’t mean for anyone else to find out about it—” 

“It seems you didn’t mean anything, actually.  Do you ever intend anything?” Ruth snapped.  Before he could even respond to that, Ruth was walking in frustration towards the runway, fully intended to just get the hell away from Robert Rosenthal and his betrayal—which yet again stung because he couldn’t even keep this one simple thing secret.  It was aggravating.  She had not told anyone but he certainly had. 

Robby immediately began following after her, calling her name—but all of it just fell on deaf ears.  When Ruth was mad, there was no coming down from that until she was good and ready and it was her timing, no one else’s.  

Her head just felt like it was spinning.  Robby and Abe and her had a damn good system going.  But things just kept throwing it off for them—wildly changing the dynamic.  Adding Liesel had been hard enough, but they had adapted and now the four of them were a small sort of family—unconventional as it may have been.  Ruth just felt like a damn fool, for having fallen for the whole thing.  

No matter what it felt like at times, they would never be a family.  Robby wasn’t part of their family and they weren’t part of his.  It was just a meeting of the circumstances for something that felt like home, nothing more.  This wasn’t a safe place or somewhere to make friends.  Nowhere was.  

“Ruth, Ruth—hey, I’m sorry!” Robby exclaimed, finally catching up to her and catching her by the shoulders. 

Ruth just gave a snarl, shoving his hands off of her.  “No, I’m angry and I get to be angry. You think any of this has been easy for me?!” 

At that, Robby gave a scoff, breath hot on her face as irritation flickered.  “You think it’s been easy for me?” 

“They don’t call you Rosenthal’s whore or Rosenthal’s bitch, so yeah, I think I got the short end of the stick here,” Ruth hissed the words out.  

The blood seemed to drain from his face and Robby went entirely still, as though he had been shot as he stood there.  “Who calls you that?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“No, who calls you that?” 

“I don’t need you fighting my damn battles,” Ruth’s chin jutted upwards defiantly as she stared into the cobalt of his eyes.  Eyes that she thought were just as infuriating as the skies and seas—sometimes safe and somewhere she wanted to be.  Other times they were just as tumultuous and uncontrollable as nature.  

“I know you don’t.” 

“I hate you.” 

“No you don’t.” 

“No.  I don’t think I do,” Ruth admitted, voice barely above a whisper.  “But I’m very cross with you right now.  I—I could just—” Her voice broke off at the end and she just stared at him.  It felt as though she were drowning in this anger and rage and—and—loneliness.  

And it hit her all at once that if Robby went up in the skies for the invasion of Normandy, it was altogether likely that he wouldn’t be returning.  That he could die.  And this could be one of the last times that she would ever see him.  And it was altogether possible that he might be the only person who could tolerate her company.  

So whether it was out of a place of emotions running high or just being worried about him (he was her friend now, after all), Ruth did something she was going to regret.  She grabbed Robert Rosenthal by the tie and smashed their lips together.  It was by no means careful or considerate, and for a second, he floundered at the movement. 

Their teeth accidentally clashed against one another as his hands strayed down to her waist.  Ruth didn’t mind the drowning feeling, nor did she mind the taste of alcohol that lingered on his lips.  It gave a familiar buzz to the kiss.  She had half a mind to drop down to her knees and give this man a real goodbye, one that he’d never forget—her lipstick would smear him and stain him for days and there would be nothing he could do about it.  But this was neither the time or the place for that and the boldness she felt at being the one to kiss him was currently faltering.  

Hadn’t she said this was a mistake?  Hadn’t she been the one to try and correct things between the two of them?  Hadn’t she also been the one to slip her fingers inside and imagine that it was Robby’s hands—a pure and carnal physicality, she was sure.  

But as Robby’s lips slipped down her lips and to her jaw and she shucked his jacket from his body, Ruth wasn’t certain of anything anymore.  She reattached her lips to his and gave a light nip at his bottom lip—and some sort of growl spilled from his lips.  The next thing Ruth knew, she was being walked backwards until her back had hit a solid metal surface and Ruth recognized the surface as a plane. 

She wasn’t sure whose it was.  She wasn’t sure she cared at the moment. 

His nimble fingers dragged the neckline of her dress down and kneaded against her breasts.  Ruth felt as though she were levitating as Robby pressed against her with one of his knees.  Oh friction—she had missed the friction of another human being.  Her hips hitched slightly higher, rubbing against him.  Something seemed to spark in him and his fingers locked around one of her breasts. In one fell movement, he had ripped the top of her dress down, exposing her chest to the warm summer air.  He toyed with the edge of her brassiere for a moment and then his fingers slipped under it, cold and calloused.  Tingles spread across her flesh and curled right down into her toes.  

A gasp unwillingly spilled from her throat—and mortification almost crossed her features but she wasn’t given a chance to explore that.  He pinched and then bit and sucked and Ruth clawed at his back like an animal begging for release. And she desperately needed a release. 

But there was no relief or release to be had.  Not today. 

The blaring lights and sirens going off about a bomb warning were the thing that made them break away from each other, wide-eyed and horrified as they stared at each other. 

Robby immediately was averting his gaze, giving Ruth the privacy to readjust the top of her dress, which had slipped down past her chest.  “I—I shouldn’t have—you were right the first time about all of this,” Robby mumbled out.  “We can’t keep doing this.” 

Ruth wished she could say that her heart wasn’t beating a million miles per minute.  Or that she truly did regret what she had done. But she could say any of that.  She just gave a nod and stared at the ground. 

“I’m sorry too.” 

Had they gone too far—where was the line for these two? And if there was a line, had they just crossed it?

[ulrichgebert]

Ein Liebesfilm. Da manche Mädchen einfach nicht von dieser Welt sind, informierte ich mich vorsichtshalber nochmal, wie diese auf Parties korrekt anzusprechen sind. Für Außerirdischen gelten zwar im Prinzip anderere Regeln, welche hier aber keine Verwendung finden, weil die kleinen Punks in Croydon annehmen, so sonderbar wie sie sich benehmen, sind es wohl Amerikaner. Muss als einer der besseren Filme mit Nicole Kidman gewertet werden.

[phinik]

[waltricia]

I never noticed before how fitting this casting was:

(Claudia Jessie and Ruth Gemmell)

Especially considering this:

(Claudia Jessie and Rupert Evans (Edmund Bridgerton))

Also LOL I just noticed this:

(Rupert Evans and Calam Lynch (Theo Sharpe))

I think mayhaps Eloise might have a bit of a complex.

[didanagy]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 2 (2022)

[rivalkieran]

unova ancestor ocs (and hilbert) (and palmer)

[nofatclips]

All I Know of Love, a film by Emma Ruth Rundle and Geert Braekers

[suzannahnatters]

HEY GUYS I'M COMING TO THE US LET'S MEET UP ~ Book Signing Event!!! ~ WHERE: Barnes & Noble Polaris in Columbus, Ohio WHEN: June 11th from 2-5 PM WITH: RJ Anderson, W.R. Gingell, Rosamund Hodge, and Joanna Ruth Meyer!

Let me just rave about my chums for a minute - - R.J. Anderson, who writes wonderful, old-school YA fantasy about fairies and faith! (Try KNIFE, I couldn't put it down)

- W.R. Gingell, author of beloved Aussie urban fantasy series THE CITY BETWEEN (my fave is BETWEEN WALLS but you have to read the whole thing)

- Rosamund Hodge, author of dark and bittersweet parables of sin, redemption, and stabbing things (if you haven't read CRIMSON BOUND what are you even doing with yourself)

- Joanna Ruth Meyer, author of heartfelt and evocative YA fantasies (INTO THE HEARTLESS WOOD is the cottagecore tree siren story you never knew you needed).

- And ME, your favourite author of ridiculously over-researched historical fantasy!

(- Also possibly a sixth MYSTERY AUTHOR watch this space)

IF you want to purchase books, you can snag a copy of DARK CLOUDS on the day, or if there's a specific title you want, be sure to call B&N Polaris at (614) 854-0339 and ask them to order it in for you.

11 June! Please come! Bring any books you want signed! It will be SO thrilling to meet you!

[kismetmoon]

i just realised i never talked about it before, but here’s Ruth’s full form under her cloak :

[ID: a digital monochrome drawing of an original stylised Flatland character, Ruth, on an off-white background.

Ruth is a humanoid character who has dark grey with light grey patches, a round half-lidded eye with a point on the top and four bottom eyelashes, a rectangular body, thin limbs, a ‘dent’ on the lower half of her body and a short tail.

On the left, Ruth is standing and waving out her left arm while the other is at her side. She is absently staring to the right. There is an arrow in the middle, which leads to the other drawing of Ruth on the right. She is holding her cane in her right hand and looking down to some white bandages covering the dent in her torso.

End ID.]

it’s essentially the flatland equivalent of traumatic lumbar scoliosis. she’s been left with a sort of indentation that pushed back her lower torso and goes in her right side and out her left. because of this, it throws her balance off slightly when walking (and having a shorter tail than usual doesn’t help in this situation), hence she uses a cane when she needs to leave the house for food, errands, etc. the bandages are just to prevent her from scratching the healed scar bc it’s almost always itchy.

[ID: two digital drawings of an original stylised Flatland character, Ruth.

In the first photo, it is a close-up of Ruth’s dent as seen from the side. There is an orange line to highlight the scar left in her torso from the dent. There is orange hand-written text on the left that reads “scar”. The black text on the right reads “side view”. The background is off-white.

In the second photo, it is a black, colourless outline drawing of Ruth. She is looking down towards the scoliosis back brace on her torso, with her arms held up and away from her body. The background is white.

End ID.]

if she had gotten proper treatment she would have had a brace similar to this. however, her mother wasn’t willing to wait long enough for it to heal like this and hated the sight of it, so she lied to Ruth about there being no proper treatment - or even just pain relief help - available for her case.

there’s a more in-depth explanation of what happened to Ruth under the cut, but warnings for murder, assault, accidental murder, child neglect and disownment.

what i’m working with is that Ruth was waiting outside a shop with her mother while her father went inside to get something. an isosceles who came rushing out of the adjacent alleyway (who had just got into a heated argument ending in the other party being shattered) fled the scene so quickly that he ended up running straight into a tween Ruth on his way out of the alley. he was able to catch himself before he got sliced up, but ultimately left Ruth with her ‘dent’ and left himself with a nasty crack that nearly completely ran down the middle of his frame.

he would later on succumb to this injury, leaving Ruth feeling immense guilt for being involved in another’s death (even though it wasn’t ever her fault).

her parents (a square family, with Ruth being their only child) tried to have her lasting depression dealt with and this ‘dent’ straightened out. while it was considered that one of her sides could easily be pushed back in, it was nearly impossible to pull the indented side back out - so they had to leave it for ruth’s ‘survival’. her depression only worsened and she developed extreme isoscelesphobia (it is what you think it is).

it comes up to her 18th birthday and she’s suddenly kicked out of the house five days later as her mother doesn’t want their family name “tarnished with an irregular daughter” that she’d be “ashamed to marry off to a poor soul”. so Ruth is forced to leave, but fortunately her father (who had no say in the disowning, and whose hand was completely forced by his wife’s decision) had bought the small cottage in the woods as her 18th birthday present as a place for her to reside to prevent her from becoming completely homeless. (but this is sad because he was obviously in on the discussion of her getting abandoned and wanted to guarantee her some shelter before she left, so he knew to purchase a house…but he still didn’t warn her about her impending eviction or fight to keep her with the family).

she’s 25 now and has lived there ever since, and Liz moved in with her about six years ago.

[witchvvolf]

[manicpixiedepressedwitch]

some fave looks from the gq man of the year party

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 29 (Mastermind)—MOTA Fic

A/N: I'll just leave this as a small gift to all of you....enjoy! And as always, let me know what you think!

It took two more days before her uncle and cousin were sent on their way—with passes straight from Sink all the way back to England and to Thorpe Abbotts.  Ruth was grateful for the passes and the additional help.  She wasn’t sure if she would be able to take the heartbreak of having to fight for visas at a time such as this. 

And then after those two days, she was on her way to the last standing Stalag in Germany.  The only place where Abe or Robby could possibly be—and her heart just felt like a weak and fragile thing.  

Ruth hadn’t spoken since leaving those camps.  She couldn’t find the proper words.  But she had been writing.  Writing like she was running out of time and there was no tomorrow. Because for every single one of those people in the camps, they might very well pass from sickness or malnutrition—and they deserved justice.  They deserved the opportunity to live and to love and to thrive and to find their families and to be somewhere safe.  

She was hell-bent on ensuring that at least.  

Further into Germany, it was cold and there was still snow on the ground in some parts.  Shouldering her coat tighter around her shoulders, Ruth tried not to focus on the fact that Abe could be mere miles away and freezing.  Starving.  Bleeding.  Or already dead. 

Overhead, the planes went shooting by.  Ruth resided at the very back of the procession, a borrowed man from Easy Company at her side for the time being—she wasn’t sure how she had convinced Lew to come with her for at least a day or two—but here he was, sitting at her side and shaking his head. 

“It’s about to get loud,” he warned her. 

That was what Ruth had been counting on.  In the distance, she could see the Tower of the Stalag.  Residing just beyond the treeline and in a clearing, Ruth could almost taste the victory that the Allies were about to achieve.  As the shots opened up on the Stalag, Ruth covered her ears and ducked her head down in the car.  

It was the strangest feeling—this was the closest to combat Ruth had ever been but she felt calm as a summer’s day.  As if nothing were wrong and people weren’t about to surely die.  She just felt at peace. 

Lew’s elbow nudged her from her thoughts and she glanced up.  “We’re entering the clearing.  Well, the front is.” 

Ruth kept a steady gaze on the camp ahead of her. She was almost scared of what she would find once she was there.  “And into the tanks it is,” Ruth murmured as they carefully climbed down inside of the rolling thing.  They had been watching long enough and now they were going to engage with the enemy. 

A silent and never-ending prayer was in Ruth’s heart as the tanks rolled their way across the field.  Lew kept a steady hand on her shoulder.  He was acting as an anchoring force to her at the moment.  Truth be told, she wasn’t sure what she would have done without him.  She knew that she was lucky Sink had even allowed him to leave for a few days—given his vital intelligence that he was keeping up with. 

But he was one of the closest friends she had ever had.  And she trusted that if she was with him, then everything would work out fine.  And that’s what she was hoping for at the moment. 

Her lunch almost came up as they rolled over another bump and Ruth just tightly clung to her seat, waiting for the entirety of this shit-show to be over.  She had no idea how photographers for the military did it—or reporters—or nurses.  There was a reason why she had never been to the front.  She wasn’t cut out for this sort of thing and everyone knew it. 

“Please, please, please,” Ruth chanted the words under her breath like some sort of prayer. 

Let it be over soon. 

Let Abe be there.  And let him be okay. 

Let us come out of this together. 

It didn’t really stop until the flag had been placed atop the flagpole in the Stalag.  And not just any flag.  But the American Flag.  “Holy shit,” Lew mumbled, gazing through the guns.  “They got a flag up.  We’ve taken the Stalag.” 

Ruth’s head shot up.  “We did it?” 

“I mean, in a manner of speaking, yeah.” 

Her heart felt like it was going to wildly beat out of her chest.  It threatened every breath of hers and she knew that until she was on the ground in the Stalag and able to look at the men in there—until her gaze had found her youngest brother—she would not be able to breathe properly.  She wouldn’t be able to do any of it. 

Lew took her hand in his. Immediately, the tremors and the shaking just stopped.   “Let’s go find your brother.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It wasn’t until the German Commander had surrendered that Ruth even began looking around the place.  The only problem was that she wasn’t all that tall compared to most of the men in the camp and there were so many people—it was going to be impossible to find anyone in this mess of people. 

Frenchmen, Americans, British—how the hell was she supposed to find Abe in a place like this? 

Ruth glanced over at Lew and then over at the tanks.  “I have an idea.” 

“Something tells me I’m not going to like it very much, am I?” 

“Probably not.” 

A few minutes later, Lew had begrudgingly boosted Ruth atop a tank.  As soon as her feet were on the solid metal, she was on her feet and ripping her helmet from her head.  Damn the fact that she was a woman and she wasn’t meant to be here.  

“Abe!  Abe!” Ruth shouted out the name. 

But it just drowned as though it was caught in a wave itself.  With the cheering and the way that everyone was gathered to see the Germans march out of the camp, it would have been a damn surprise if anyone had heard that. Ruth began to feel a pit of desperation growing in her chest like a damn weed.  

Come on, come on—

Just as her hope was dying out in her chest, Ruth heard a loud whistle that caught her attention.  Her head snapped around and when she turned, she found a group of familiar faces sitting atop a roof.  “RUTH!” 

And right there was Abe. 

Ruth didn’t even hesitate in leaping from the tank and sprinting through the crowd to get to her brother.  She shoved and pushed and he did the same.  Ruth ran—she ran as though the war had ended and everything was suddenly going to be alright.  And it wasn’t until she had collided with her brother and felt Abe in her arms that she let out a sob. 

“Oh you stupid, stupid—underaged—high-school dropout—shithead!” Ruth exclaimed, shoving at his arms and then taking his face in her hands to look him over.  He had a few bruises on his face and a cut near his eyebrow, but other than that, Abe Sharpe looked absolutely fine.  Better than fine—though he was crying just as much as she was at the moment.  

“How the hell are you—” 

“I missed your birthday!” Ruth realized in horror, pulling him in for another hug.  “You’re 18 now, you stupid, stupid—” 

“Well there’s a sight I thought I’d never see again.” 

Ruth couldn’t help the fact that she froze on the ground at the sound of the voice.  The sound of her brother John’s voice.  John, who she hadn’t seen since 1942—John, who was supposed to be KIA.  John, whose locker she never picked up in London. John Sharpe, her other brother—who was standing a few feet away, a tired grin on his face and bundled up in a coat. 

“Oh my god!” Ruth scrambled to her feet and pulled John into the fiercest hug of his life.  He had gotten taller and bigger since the time she had seen him last—and given the fact that it had been a few years, she wasn’t altogether surprised by that.  He just held onto her so tightly, head buried in her mass of curls.  “How the hell are you here?” She demanded through a choked sob. 

John just gave a grin.  “Made it to a lifeboat and got picked up by a German U-Boat.  I’ve been here for a while.  Not as long as David though.” 

If Ruth thought for one second that she was done being surprised, she was sorely mistaken.  Because the next person who pulled her into a fierce hug was her cousin David, who she hadn’t seen in years.  He and Abe were roughly the same age and she thought for certain, he had been lost in the mass of executions in Europe. 

“How—” Ruth breathed out, just holding onto the three boys in utter relief and shock. 

“I made it out of Germany back in 40.  Traveled up to Denmark, then to England—took a while to get my citizenship for England but I was part of the RAF,” David explained, a beaming grin on his face. “Imagine my surprise when John here shows up and then Abe!” 

“And now you!” Abe added. 

“OH!” Ruth exclaimed.  “I found Uncle Yosef and cousin Sveta!” 

“Seriously?” John blurted, eyes nearly the size of saucers.  “You found more of us?” 

“I found you,” Ruth couldn’t help but letting the tears stream down her face.  And then the thought that she had not seen Robby yet occurred to her.  “Where’s—” 

“He made it onto the Russian side,” Abe explained.  “He’s probably back at Thorpe Abbotts right now wondering where the hell you’re at.” 

“Well I’ll be damned,” A new voice joined the conversation.  And whether it was because she was feeling utterly sentimental and over-emotional, Ruth wasn’t sure.  But she sprinted straight at Bucky and hugged the living daylights out of the man. 

 “Thank you for taking care of Abe.” 

He just grinned into the hug and gave her an awkward pat on the back.  “I mean—I figured if he showed up here, you weren’t going to be far behind.  I gave it, what?  40 days, gentlemen?” 

The other pilots from Thorpe Abbotts had slowly begun to trickle over.  And Captain Brady, solemn as ever, just shook his head.  “He called you the Jewish Jesus—showing up in 40 days and whatnot.” 

“Jesus was Jewish,” Abe pointed out, crossing his arms as he stared down Brady. 

“Argue later, boys,” Ruth insisted.  She turned, giving Bucky an exasperated pat on the cheek.  “Sacrilege, huh?  Do better.” 

“I did.  You showed up, didn’t you?” 

[lilac-axolotl]

(tw:blood and sharp objects/torture machinery)

I got a ruth goldbirg machine for christmas :]

[phinik]

FAILED

[flora-file]

sit a spell

don't mind that giant agave with plans to draw blood

[mungdou]

DANDELIONS

PR. ushijima x reader; semi x reader

W. swears

GR. angst

WC. 2.4k

AN. Oh I live for ushijima angst. Anyways, requests are open as of 06/2024 :)) go ham pookies. Inspired by dandelions by Ruth. B.

(pt. 2)

『Maybe, it's the way you say my name Maybe, it's the way you play your game But it's so good, I've never known anybody like you But it's so good, I've never dreamed of nobody like you』

"y/l/n. May I ask you a question?" Ushijima turned around to look at your distant figure, clipboard in hand.

"Mm? What's up Toshi?" You replied, smiling up at the larger man.  

His bulky body blocked most of your vision, but he wasn't clumsy. His voice was deep and commanding, but never once did it demand anything from anyone. He was the gentle giant in your life, but you couldn't help but wish he were your gentle giant.

Of course, you weren't the only one who felt the same for the man, but he had always been oblivious to any advances.

"Why do you not have a second manager to aid your business? I notice you tend to rush around, so for your sake, please recruit another manager." He wiped his sweat-covered neck with a small white towel and took a sip of water before running back out on the court to continue practice, called back by the sharp whistle.

He cares about you.

He didn't stick around for your response, but you made sure that you took up his suggestion.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

During lunch the day after, you posted flyers around the school asking for assistant managers. As expected, the applications came rapidly and your eyes landed on one.

Aoi Nishiyama, second year, experience with managing outdoor youth sports clubs

She was perfect.

Two days later, after her confirmation, you found a girl peeking through the gym doors.

"Hello? Is there something I can help you with?" As you approached her, you noticed that it was Nishiyama. "Oh! Nishiyama-"

"Oh, you can just call me Aoi." She shyly grinned, turning towards you.

"Aoi. I'm so glad you decided to join us! Come with me, I have to give you a tour and- oh! What size are you? I need it for your uniform fitting-" Once again, you were interrupted, but this time by the olive-skinned ace.

"y/l/n. Who is this?" Ushijima looked at the timid girl with interest.

"Oh yes! Toshi this is-"

"Aoi. Aoi Nishimiya, but you can just call me Aoi." She stumbled out, her face flushed red with... embarrassment?

Ushijima greeted her, his hand lingering in the air before he turned away to get back to practice. He almost looked flustered, though someone could have easily missed his changed expression.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

After a month of Aoi working with us on the volleyball team, the team outing took place. It was in a large field, perfect for leisure games and a summer barbecue.

The third years sat in a field, covered in fluffy white dandelions.

"Let's make a wish!" Tendou proposed, leaping onto his lanky legs, and running around to face the rest of the third years before plopping back onto the ground.

"We're too old for this, you dumbass." Semi glared at the redhead.

"I've never partaken in this wishing process. How is it done?" Ushijima furrowed his eyebrows.

You took two dandelions out from the ground and handed one to him. He inspected the hollow stemmed plant, rotating it every so often. His actions were mesmerizing, you didn't want to pull your eyes away.

Tendou plucked his flower out of the ground, smiling, "So! You take the dandelion and you blow it and make your wish, but make sure you don't-"

"My wish is to be in love with someone on the volleyball team." Ushijima bluntly stated before huffing at the delicate flower.

Something about the statement startles you, and your face begins to heat up.

"-say your wish out loud... but anyways... who is it Wakatoshi-kun??" You do like girls, yes?" Tendou peruses, his eyes closed and his brows furrowed.

"Yes."

"Hmmmm... There are only two girls on the team, yes? Aoi-chan and y/n/n-san... Which could it be... WAIT! Everyone everyone, place your bets! Y/N/N-SANNNN you're part of this bet so you can't participate~" Tendou muses, whipping out his phone to take notes.

At this point, your face is beet red, buried in your hands, your eyelids shut closed. Tendou runs around, asking the other 3rd years for their thoughts.

"AND THE BETS HAVE BEEN PLACED!" The guess monster beamed, "Now, state your reasons!!"

"I think it's the way he looks at Aoi. He's always looking in her direction with some kind of determination or something"

That's because you're with her, right?

"Nah~ it's probably y/n, I mean, they've known each other since middle school, and he's super open with her"

Exactly, you've known him for so much longer, it only makes sense.

"No it's totally Aoi, what do you mean y/n?? Do you see how quickly he got along with her?"

He got along with you quickly too, though.

"Guys I'm right here-" You sighed, your face remaining the shade of a cherry. "But continue I guess."

"Aoi." His deep voice resonated in your body, shocking every bone in it. His face lightened as he lightly smiled.

Bouts of cheering, groans, and laughter filled the air, but all you could do was stare at Ushijima and try not to drop your jaw. The thoughts began to rush through your brain, laced with insecurity.

How did she captivate him like that?

What does he like about her?

What does she have that you don't?

You looked down at the fluffy flower in your hand. Its delicate seeds could carry your wish far and wide, but would it even be received?

『'Cause I'm in a field of dandelions Wishing on everyone that you'll be mine, mine』

It doesn't matter, right? You might as well try, even if it doesn't work.

"Fuuuuu" You exhaled onto the delicate ball.

I want Toshi to realize I'm perfect for him... No no... that's too creepy...

I want Wakatoshi Ushijima to like me.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

That day, he confessed to Aoi. The boys had run around the field looking for the girl, and when they found her, they practically picked her up and transported her to Toshi.

It wasn't hard for him to confess to her, he was straightforward, as usual. She ended up saying that she reciprocated his feelings, and they started dating.

It wasn't too hard to bear in the beginning. They would sit at your table during lunch and chat with the other members of the team, Ushijima would hold her much smaller hand in his callused ones. As they ate, Aoi would lean on his shoulder affectionately.

I wish that were me.

Not long after, you noticed you had become shunned by the others at the table. If you put a word in the conversation, you would either be ignored or spoken over as they continued the conversation. Most of the time, it was Aoi speaking over you. It hurt, admittedly. Your friends. People you had known for years had, for the first time, left you out of a conversation, attracted to the sweet and innocent voice of Aoi Nishimiya. The girl they met only 2 months ago.

Eventually, they forgot you were even there.

This began to creep into your practices and hangouts, all of which Aoi attended. you acted as you did, caring for those there, making jokes, being... yourself.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

About a week later, you were approached by Ushijima, who had an extra serious face. To be honest, he looked almost constipated. His walk had a hesitant swagger to it as he came towards me. Far behind him was Aoi, fiddling her thumbs and looking the other way.

"Y/n."

『'Cause it gets so hard to breathe When you're looking at me, I've never felt so alive and free When you're looking at me, I've never felt so happy』

"Tosh... Ushijima-san" You smiled, the stress washing away. Finally, someone wanted to talk to you, to be in... no... to acknowledge your presence.

"We should– hanging... together. It... Aoi uncomfortable." Ushijima muttered under his breath.

"Huh?" You couldn't believe your ears... Was he saying what you thought he was? "I'm sorry... could you repeat that? I couldn't understand you."

"We should–" He pauses, clearing his throat. "We should stop meeting. It makes Aoi uncomfortable."

Your head jerked up. "What?" You whispered, though your voice seemed to bellow through the silent indoor court, bouncing off the walls. "What... I... Follow me." Your voice lowered and you grabbed his wrist, dragging the ace out of the room.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" You demanded, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes.

"Excuse me?"

Your face contorted with fury, your hands balled into fists. It took every ounce of your body to hold yourself back.

"Does me being around... make you uncomfortable?" You quivered in anger, looking straight into his unbothered eyes. "Does it?" Your voice was unnaturally cold and it took every ounce of you to not shout

"It-" He began.

"WHY-" Your voice shouted before catching yourself, "Am I that annoying? Is there something I can change? I'll do anything you want me to, just say what's wrong with me, I'll fix it."

A person in love will do anything to be appreciated by the one they adore.

All you want is for him to be happy, but you can't.. no you can't live without him. You can't imagine your life without him, even if it isn't in the way You want it to be.

"You do make me uncomfortable." Five words, and you began to crumble.

"If you'd like to know the truth, you are overly affectionate."

crack.

"You cannot set boundaries, even though you know I am in a relationship."

snap.

"You don't know how to stop being a people pleaser who can't help but say yes."

crack.

"You are nothing but a thorn in my side. You often distract me from playing right and you've created a rift in my romantic life. There is nothing for you to fix because nothing is there to fix. You have always been this way and you will always be this way."

crumble.

Satisfied with his words, he walked back into the enclosed court, greeting his girlfriend standing behind the gray doors. She peered out towards your frozen body, pity and satisfaction lacing her face.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

The air in the gym was cold, not a noise to be heard throughout the massive building. They all heard him say that. They all knew it was wrong. You weren't a nuisance to Ushijima, but no one wanted to say anything otherwise to the ace.

"Y/n-" Semi stepped forward, reaching out to try and comfort you, but Leon put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from rushing out. Tendou and Goshiki looked towards the ace trudging back to practice, Aoi running up to him with big eyes and a volleyball in hand to toss for practice.

You couldn't move. you didn't want to move. Semi shrugged off Leon's hand and stepped outside. "Let's go. C'mon." His hand dropped to the small of your back and guided your back out. It felt like all of the blood left your body and all that was left was your dull husk. You walked for a while. You don't know how long it took, but soon you could see the local convenience store in the distance. You plopped down on a brick fence and fat, warm, tears began to fall. You guessed the initial shock wore off, but the tears wouldn't stop, and soon your eyes were blurry with tears.

After a while, a blue fuzzy object appeared. You blinked away the salty tears, drying them with your sleeves, and saw a soda ice pop on your lap. "Here. Sweets help the tears." Semi gently said, smiling at you. In his hands, he had an unopened pack of tissues.

"You must think I'm pathetic. Hah, everyone probably thinks that at this point, ooh what's y/n without Ushiwaka, she's his dog." You waved your hands around, mocking god knows what. You looked down and opened the packaging. "Why are you here anyway? Don't you have practice? Coach Washijo's gonna yell at you again. Anyways... Thanks for the pop... you didn't have t-"

"I wanted to be here. And it's not like I'm that important to the team, after all, we have Shirabu now for setting. I'll probably get yelled at a bit, but it's worth it. I'd rather you be with someone than alone." Semi blurted, he was trying his best.

You giggled, snorting before catching yourself. Semi looked reassured by that. "Mmm... it feels nice that someone's still on my side." You sat there in silence for a while, and soon your pops were down to the stick and the sun had set.

"You got a free pop." Semi pointed out, before grabbing the stick and walking into the store to redeem it. You can't understand why he's here, He could literally be anywhere else, so why here of all places?

"Y'know, she's not all that." He spoke, walking out and gesturing with you to walk with him. "But anyways, you should talk about it. At least let out how you feel, if you're comfortable, that is. It's better than bottling it up."

You looked down, not sure what to say. "I mean, I don't think that he's the kind of person to throw away a friendship for a relationship this early- or even ever. But I don't want to fight it, he can figure it out by himself." I ran a few feet ahead before whipping around to face Semi. I gestured to myself and bounced on the balls of my feet, "All I can say is that he's gonna be missing out on the joy I bring to the table." Semi paused, then doubled over laughing.

"You certainly have a way of getting over heartbreak." He walked up to you, hooking your arm in his. You smiled softly, leaning your head on his arm and holding his arm tightly as you walked back to the gym.

"Thank you, Semi-Semi." You murmured into his sleeve.

"You're welcome y/n... never tell Tendou I let you call me that" He smiled and looked down at the top of your head.

"No promises." You looked up, matching his serene expression. "Can't wait for the lecture we're gonna get in about 5 minutes."

Semi froze. "Shit."

AN: lmk if you want a pt. 2 :)

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