#and being exceptionally domestic

[mischievous-thunder]

Wade, during a stakeout: Do you remember when we were kids we used to be jealous of adults going on fun holidays?

Logan, from behind Wade in a small cupboard: Yeah. Now we're jealous of kids going on fun holidays while we're busy adulting and not even doing it right.

[boccher]

Westerners will argue that eating dogs is an objectively evil cultural practice because "they were domesticated to be human companions" like okay first of all look at how pigeons are treated in western countries today. Almost every single pigeon you see in urban and suburban environments are domestic pigeons they were domesticated over 10000 years ago, they have been common pets of humans throughout history and remain prized and protected in many parts of the world today. And your culture hunts them for sport, or poisons and maims them for the crime of shitting on cars and storefronts. I have a feeling your culture's exceptionalism around dogs is less about them being a domesticated animal, and more about framing nonwhite cultures as uncivilised. Second of all you're saying that a species' worth depends on its proximity to humans like that's supposed to convince me you care about animal welfare? Maybe you really do care, but regardless this argument does nothing but serve western hegemony

[diejager]

Yandere Pyramid what if he gets reader pregnant Just go crazy with this hahaha

(IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE I DON'T KNOW BUT WITH HIS AMOUNT OF CUM I WOULDN'T DOUBT IT)

Paring : YANDERE Pyramid Head x fem!reader

Cw: smut, possible NON-CON/DUB-CON, tentacle tongue, possessive behaviour + sex, breeding, pregnancy, creampie, belly bulge, tell me if I missed any.

Wc: 674

He'd go wild at the idea of knocking you up, watching your soft stomach bloat with a new life and your breasts swell, nipples leaking milk that he could suck until his kid came out. He'd fuck you until you get pregnant, stuffing you with his cum and his cock, keeping every little swimmers inside your bulging heat. He liked watching you strain around his girth, walls twitching and closing tightly around him, your cries echoing under his metal pyramid.

It's a ritual, every night, any spare moment, he'd have you sprawled under him, rutting his length into your red, swollen cunt until you grew limp, a little cumdump for him. His bulbous tip kissed your cervix, pushing against your womb's entrance and pumped generous load after generous load into your warm, fertile womb, a virgin to childbirth.

Whether he had you under him, pounding away the hours of the night - or day if he felt like it - over him, riding his thick and veiny cock until your slick covered his whole abdomen, or against a wall, rattling the structure with his punching thrusts when felt especially feral; he made sure to cover you in his musk, body smelling of him with reminders of last night, dark bruises marring your skin.

They were brandings of the finest he could give (other than his seed branding your spasming cunt as his little cockdrunk survivor.) to show others who you belonged to. He's had his possessive strikes, growling at killers and survivors who got too close to you for his liking, waving his broadsword and shaking the ground in strong ripples.

Pyramid Head was exceptionally possessive, being a creature of grief and regret created for a sole purpose, granting him nothing to his name or soul to own. Such a situation makes a person - any person - possessive of their things, like a child deprived of toys and love, they grow possessive and careful.

And to add a child, some would think he'd hate his child for taking most of your attention, your affection and your time, but this child was from yours and his blood, a creation of yours. It was the second thing he could call his own, a living being - beside you - he could care for and nurture, it played with a more domestic side of him. It would simply mean he'd take more drastic and scary measures.

Just a big, broad Pyramid Head growling at anyone with his equally big toy in hand, truly the scariest guard dog in The Entity's world (Guard dog privileges+).

Extra: during the pregnancy

Man is oblivious to the struggle of women, especially pregnant ones. Mood swings and odd cravings make him scratch his head in confusion. Was it safe to eat pickles, then peanut butter and tuna in a sitting? Would it be bad if you woke up in discomfort and your stomach was ready to empty itself?

He's as clueless about childbirth as a baby, every step had to have help from The Nurse and The Doctor, both having some experience with pregnancies in their previous lives. Reluctantly, he'd call for them once he sees you hunched over a bowl, puking yesterday's food. If there was a step-by-step book about pregnancies, perhaps a 101 tips about pregnancies for noobs, Pyramid Head would need it, he needs all the help he can get.

He knows not fuck you, naturally, for the safety of his child. That, however, doesn't stop him from pleasing you, using his thick fingers to pump and curl into your upper wall and flick your swollen clit when your hormones act up and you get horny; or he'd tonguefuck you into overstimulation, with his tentacle-like tongue that slithers from under his mask, long and wet. He's agile with it, twisting his tongue in every sense and curling it into a ball to fuck you.

He's talented with his cock, his fingers and his tongue, nothing can stop him from caring for your needs, he's skilled in many ways.

[mochinomnoms]

I'm curious about the dreams Idia was having about the reader.

(reference to this)

nsfw under read-more, minors DNI!

It's quite silly, really. Idia was never one to yearn for the touch, closeness, the affections of a person. He was fine, being alone. It was better this way. He could cope with his games and shows, online groups and friends filling the void. Besides, why would he want to drag another person into the Shroud curse? It already took one person from him, Idia couldn't stand doing it to another as long as it was up to him. Plus, he wasn't exactly prime boyfriend, let alone husband material (perhaps he did that intentionally).

So, Idia wasn't all too worried when he first started becoming friends with you. You were kinda weird, but a friend to introverts like him! Somehow always a wallflower, but always involved in the chaos of overblots and school. But, you were conscientious of his need for space and privacy; Ortho must have said something to you about his eating habits, cause you started bringing food other than chips, soda, and ramen cups for him to eat, like actual meals. You also liked to entertain Ortho, who liked when you drew silly designs on his plating, which is always a plus in Idia's book. You were sweet, like his favorite ramune soda. Despite having abysmal skills in gaming (which he was all too happy to make fun of you for) he liked having you as his support, watching him on the sidelines and being a cute cheerleader. In exchange, Idia lent you an old gaming computer and bullied tutored you in a few of his favorite games so you could be his squishy healer in raids.

But, he was a bit worried when he started feeling something more than platonic things for you. Then, he was exceptionally concerned when, at the first day of spring, Idia started coughing hydrangeas, which he managed to secretly keep under wraps from Ortho for a few weeks. No, he was downright mortified when, during those few weeks, night after night, he started having dreams of you.

They started off innocent at first: you on his lap, head on his shoulder, as he played the latest RPG. You murmured words of encouragement, sleepily nuzzling your head into his. Another, he was in the board game club, where you cheered him on as he won a match against Azul in some luck-based game. Idia remembers giving Azul a smug smirk as you threw your arms around him and pressed kisses into his cheek. He even faintly remembers one where you simply sat with him in class, fingers lacing through his in comfort as he dealt with the anxiety of being out and about.

It wasn't until he was a week in when the dreams, infested with hydrangea bouquets always at the corner of his eye, that he knew he was utterly screwed beyond belief.

It started off sweet, at first. This time, you were with him at Styx, though you looked a few years older and were wearing a similar uniform to his mother. He was wearing the uniform as well, though it more closely resembled his father's. He was now Styx head, and you, his precious little wife. The domestic stuff was fine, it made his heart rate spike up so much that Ortho questioned if he had a nightmare while sleeping, but it was fine he could deal. You did look cute… as you smiled up at him… leaned up to kiss his cheek… and whisper in his ear…

“Idiaaa~ What if I crawled under your desk and sucked you off? Do you think you could stay quiet? You can, can't you? For me~”

It was fuzzy, when he tried to remember it, but Idia remembers the heat pooling in his belly. Your hands trailing down his chest down to his hips. Your lips following after and pressing soft, slow kisses down and down until—

Idia's flames grew into a burning, hot pink as his face is in his hands the following morning. He'd actually gone to bed at a reasonable time (to him anyway, 3 am was reasonable), and woke up with that in his head? How was he supposed to function? How was he supposed to look at you, talk with you, when the last memory he had was a dream of you sucking him off???

It progressively got worse from there. It was a weird mix of erotically domestic scenarios. You, waking up to him in bed before work, riding him as you cooed sweet words. Another of the two of you heavy petting, his hands groping your ass as you curled your body into his, making out in his office before Idia had to run off to a meeting, leaving you pouting and telling him to, “Hurry back to your needy little wifey~” One of you cooking him breakfast in one of his shirts, before he bent you over the kitchen counter, after which you sat on his lap and hand fed him.

The last one that really freaked him out, which led to him further isolating himself until Ortho dragged him out to the nurse, was one where he woke up to you next to him in bed. You smiled the sweetest smile to him, whispering to Idia how much you loved him, moving over to press a trail of kisses from his lips, to his neck, down his chest and abdomen. Idia was anticipating the same follow-up from his first dream, especially as your hands reached to pull his briefs down before a soft whine, followed by a cry, interrupted you.

He had no clue what to think, as you make a surprised noise, smiling at him, as the following words left your mouth: “The baby's awake, guess we'll have to continue this later, huh?” Dream Idia giggled along with you as the two of you shared a kiss, watching as you rolled off the bed to the bassinet that he was just noticing. He watched as you cooed and murmured soft words to the small, blue-flamed haired baby, reaching their tiny hands for you. But it was the next sentence that bolted him from sleep into a dry sweat:

“Say good morning! Say, 'good morning' to your baba, my darling~”

Idia let out a screech as he flailed out of bed, tangled in his sheets. He was coughing up a storm of hydrangeas when Ortho flew in, panicked and already full of concern for Idia's health. It was then Ortho started insisting that Idia visit the infirmary, much to his chargin.

At least you'd never see him like this… right?

[lizzy06]

Sero Hanta x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)

My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist

all in a day's quirk/tumblr link ✨✨by @andypantsx3/ andypantsx3 (oneshot, friends to lovers, fluff, smut<18+>)Sero gets hit with a quirk that makes others see him as the person they are most attracted to. Which you really wish you had known before you opened your mouth and gave him your usual, “Hey, Sero!”. [COMPLETED]

Trash Polka-- A Sero Hanta X FemReader/ Tattoo Parlor AU  ✨✨ (neighbours, fluff, humor)Today is move day, and unbeknownst to you, you actually rented an apartment right above a tattoo parlor with an exceptionally cute owner, who is now your new landlord. .. But you don't particularly mind… and, the owner seems sweet, so who are you to complain ?[COMPLETED]

Infiltration Complete! ✨✨by animepseud (multipurposeroom)(fake dating, fluff, humor)The adventures of Sero (codename Hunter), you (his pretend wife), and your attempts at investigating a murder while trying not to fall madly in love with each other by the end of it (mission impossible).[COMPLETED]

 he was like the Sun ✨by @rainybubbles (oneshot, fluff) Maybe it was your childish obsession with stars that led you to him. After all, if you took a closer look, he was like the Sun.[COMPLETED]

skintight✨ by @saturnsorbits (oneshot, suggestive, fluff) Sero's got an embarrassing problem.[COMPLETED]

it’s a date ✨by @shinaus (oneshot, fake datings, friends to lovers)The invitation was to a party this coming weekend, which they have insisted within it that you had to bring your boyfriend too.[COMPLETED]

do re mi by @mythiccheroacademia (oneshot, angst, toxic relationship, cheating) Sero loved you. He loved you with everything he had. But he thinks he hates you just the same.[COMPLETED]

Fall In Love With Me. by Itsjustadrian(neighbours, friends to lovers, fluff) You have had the misfortune of being neighbors with the pro-hero cellophane. It wouldn’t be bad if you didn’t embarrass yourself the first encounter you had with him.[COMPLETED]

Daddy’s Little Hero ✨by Madysenpai(oneshot, parent! sero and reader, domestic fluff, family feels) Pro hero Cellophane tends to stay busy with his hero work, but on his day off he forces you to get out of the house while he spends the day with your daughter.[COMPLETED]

your initials paint my skin ✨by whatisreggieshortfor (oneshot, soulmate au, angst with happy ending)You just want to be a hero. You don’t want a soulmate, don’t want the bond. But… you’re kind of stuck to him. Pun intended.[COMPLETED]

always have, always will by Kumi(oneshot, childhood friends, angst) Sero Hanta doesn’t know a life without you by his side. For as long as he can remember, you’ve always been there. You’ve always been his person—always have, always will. Or so he thought.[COMPLETED]

Love (Sero Hanta x Reader) by dirtyoatmeall(oneshot, fluff, insecure! reader, comfort)In which you are insecure and believe Sero couldn't love you back. In which you are so utterly wrong.[COMPLETED]

Why Kaminari Is Not Allowed To Do Grocery Shopping✨ by jumix  (oneshot, fluff, humor) It started, as many things in Sero’s life apparently do, with Kaminari wanting Oreos. aka 5 times Sero goes to the grocery store + 1 time he left with more than just the groceries.[COMPLETED]

Like Father Like Daughter ✨by Jessimatsu_girl(oneshot, fluff, just parenthood guys) Your sweet little girl is worried that she'll gets a quirk like her Papa.[COMPLETED]

Spider-Man✨ by animepseud (multipurposeroom)(oneshot, fluff)Sero is a pro hero and an adult who struggles with being a pro hero and an adult. You are (kind of) a Cellophane fan. Though things get cute nothing really gets resolved but sometimes it doesn't really matter.[COMPLETED]

It Started With A Postcard by NyxDeLaNuit (oneshot, strangers to lovers, fluff, smut) Sero loves his friends, but he's desperate to talk to someone who doesn't know who he is…[COMPLETED]

Me & You Together by kingexpl0sionmurder(oneshot, fluff, secret admirer) “What? Who sent me flowers?”[COMPLETED]

It’s worth it. by Madysenpai (friends with benefits, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, smut)Sero and you are friends with benefits, you wanted more but knew you couldn’t have it. Sero knows your relationship with him only goes so far, so why is he so jealous of Todoroki?

The Things That Bind Us by lunadoesntexist(fluff, friends to lovers, mutual pinning) You were alone… and then he showed up.[COMPLETED]

Blankets & Banter by Stumbleduck(oneshot, fluff) It’s the Bakusquad’s not so weekly sleepover of shenanigans, video games and hopefully no fires. But after getting very little sleep the night before you start to doze off on a certain tape user’s shoulder…[COMPLETED]

BREADTH: Sero Hanta by KaigaraX (oneshot, fluff)Someone You Loved - Featuring: The Hero & Exactly As You Saw.[COMPLETED]

A Sign of Love✨ by @dira333/ Fogfire (oneshot, soulmate au) Everyone has the first words their soulmate says to them tattooed on their body. Well, everyone but Sero.[COMPLETED]

[coochiequeens]

A TIM couldn't accept that his wife was not going to go along with his delusion and turned to the family annihilator route, a route associated with violent narcissistic men.

By Nuria Muíña García July 11, 2024

A man in Spain is alleged to have poisoned his wife and child in the midst of divorce proceedings following his declaration of a transgender identity. The court has now imposed a restraining order on the man, who has not been named, while the police investigation is ongoing.

According to Diario de Sevilla, the couple were engaged in divorce proceedings but were still sharing a home in Dos Hermanas when the suspected poisoning took place. While it has not been definitively confirmed, the motive for the divorce appears to have been the man’s decision to identify as a “woman.”

Shortly after choosing to split, the woman, whose identity has also been kept anonymous, began experiencing severe and sudden-onset stomach pain. She sought medical care and was told she was exhibiting symptoms of chemical consumption. Police quickly became involved, and an investigation was launched into what was then identified as a suspected poisoning.

Disturbingly, the couple’s 5-year-old son may have also been the victim of an attempted poisoning by his father. Medical tests are being conducted in order to verify whether he had been targeted as well.

Prosecutors speculated that the woman was poisoned by her husband using household pool care products that were mixed into her food. In response to the hypothesis, the court issued a warrant of entry to the couple’s home to gather evidence.

Yesterday, a Dos Hermanas court responsible for prosecuting violence against women heard statements from both the husband and wife, after which it decided to place a restraining order on the man. He is now required to stay 300 meters away from his wife, and has been denied contact to his son.

At the time of this writing, no arrests have been made, but police investigations are ongoing.

The case has sparked particular concern amongst Spanish women’s rights advocates, as they have noted that Spain’s exceptionally strict gender identity laws mean that, if prosecuted, the man will be treated as a “female” by the courts.

Further, crimes marked as “gender-based violence” in Spain result in female victims being provided with specific legal protections and resources to assist them in the aftermath of the crime. These resources may include assistance with divorce proceedings, child custody, and housing arrangements.

If the man’s legal gender marker change was completed before the poisoning took place, it would mean that the victim would have no access to these resources because her aggressor was a “woman.”

“Gender-based violence” is also considered an aggravating factor in violent crimes, and may result in a harsher sentencing.

The situation has lead some women’s rights advocates to speculate that the man had planned to murder his wife, but that he had changed his legal gender marker just before doing so to avoid “gender-based violence” being used as an aggravating factor in the event he was caught.

If the man is prosecuted, this would not be the first time in Spain that a male accused of domestic violence against his female partner was prosecuted as a “woman.”

As previously reported by Reduxx, a man in Catalonia who beat his female partner for opposing his transition avoided charges of gender-based violence by legally changing his identification to “female” and adopting a woman’s name just prior to being prosecuted.

The couple, who were in their 60s, had been together for 11 years, but after the man began expressing an interest in crossdressing, the woman asked to break off their intimate relationship. He became violent towards her, and began sexually and physically abusing her in retaliation for her refusal to participate in his fetish.

After seeking help with the police, the woman discovered he had already changed his legal sex marker, and thus she would not be provided any protections for female victims of male crime.

At the time, Reduxx spoke with Núria González López, the legal advisor for the victim, who explained that “the abuser’s change of his legal sex means that, in the eyes of the law, the female in the situation is not at risk. This means the victim has fewer rights.”

In February of 2023, the Spanish government enacted what is colloquially known as the “Trans Law,” which instituted a “no questions asked” policy for those who declared they were transgender. The law also made it significantly easier for individuals to change their name and legal sex, hastening the process for applicants and removing any medical requirements.

Since the institution of the law, Spain has seen concerns right about the rise in “trans fraud,” in which males change their legal sex marker simply to gain legal or professional benefits.

In Ceuta, an extremely small Spanish autonomous city located in the North African coast, 37 male civil servants are known to have changed their registered sex in order to obtain benefits assigned to women.

Most of the men are members of the Army, the National Police, the Civil Guard, or the Local Police of the city. The men all share a pattern in that they change their legal sex marker while keeping their “male” name.

What Motivates Family Annihilators?

Angry over the family breakup

A need for power

Suffering from a personality disorder

Unable to cope with personal failure

See whole article

[smutinlove]

DICK GRAYSON—SFW ALPHABET

—Sugar, spice, and everything nice<3

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Dick is very affectionate. He loves hugging you and grabbing you by your waist, pulling you against his chest. He is all for PDA. Honestly, he loves seeing people get uncomfortable when he's kissing you. That's just the dick inside him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Dick is the kind of person that loves teasing people. But he's also a very kind person at heart. (Some might say he's a softie<3) He's the type of man that'll make you feel very comfortable. He's also a very overprotective person.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Dick loves cuddles! He strives for that physical touch and closeness. He's the big spoon, I swear. He loves enveloping you and hugging you every night before bed.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Contrary do popular belief, Dick can cook. He does not just live off of cereal. Dick is a master chef, taught by Alfred, of course. And being the eldest among his siblings also meant that he'd have to pick up after a lot of kids.

But that does not stop him from settling down. Sure, he used to be an acrobat in a circus, meaning he never stayed in one place for long. But I feel like it was pure chaos. And he'd definitely want to settle down with the right person.

E = Ending��(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Dick is a gentle person and would definitely go to you with a soft and kind expression. But Dick will always regret breaking up with you. Why? He probably broke up with you because he was in one of his depressing moods. (Feeling like he isn't good enough for you, etc..)

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Dick is loving, caring, and exceptionally passionate. But he also suffers from eldest daughter syndrome. He feels like he isn't worth it, that he isn't good enough, causing him to cripple with self-doubt and self-hate. As the oldest child, he feels that it's hard to voice out his opinions. His throat starts to close in and he can't force the words out.

But his heart aches for you. You're his heroin. And he would love to have you as he fiancé—better yet, his wife. And he would love to be your husband, but then again, he's afraid he'll hurt you. (I wanna give him a big hug)

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Dick is the definition of gentle. (Search it up, love.) His touch is soft and caring. He always makes sure he doesn't overstep any boundaries.

He's also scared both mentally and emotionally. But does that stop him from whispering sweet things in your ear? No.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He loves hugs. Dick hugs you whenever he gets the chance. His hands usually fall down to your midback. And he always ends his hugs with a squeeze.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He's quick with his hands but not his words. It would take him a long time to say it but that doesn't mean he doesn't care for you. If his words can't express his undying flame of love for you, his actions definitely do.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He's definitely the silent type. But his actions speak like a megaphone. If another man is flirting with you, he'll occasionally tug at your dress and pull you closer to him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He likes to take his time with you. His kissed can sometimes be soft and slow, making you melt like ice at his warmth.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Dick's amazing with kids. I mean, come on. He is the oldest among all his siblings, meaning he has had to take care of a lot annoying little urchins.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He's a morning person. He'll wake up at the crack of dawn and start cooking breakfast for you. And when you wake up, Dick will give you a kiss on the cheek and serve you breakfast in bed.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Although Dick's a morning person, he's a bit of a night owl. Sure, he'll be gone some nights to due him having to patrol the streets of Gotham/Bludhaven. But mostly, he'll spend his nights curled up on the couch right next to you.

Sometimes he'll even go for a movie marathon with you.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

At the start of any relationship, he definitely wouldn't reveal anything too personal. He definitely likes to reveal things slowly once you progress more into your relationship. His night time job is one of the things that'll take a long time to reveal to you. (Especially if you're a civilian.) And his history of being assaulted and raped is also a touchy subject for him. He won't bring it up unless he's ready to tell you.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

In the past, he's definitely lashed out on people. But now, he's more calm and patient with most things (he legit had to don the mantel of the bat) But then again, it's canon that he's short-tempered. If he sees you doing anything even slightly self-destructive, he will be livid. Even the thought of you getting hurt angers him.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Dick has a pretty great memory. He knows if you have any allergies, what your favorite flower is, your favorite color, food, etc.. He's lovesick, I swear. <3

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time you and him kissed. Whenever he thinks about it, it sends butterflies down his stomach. His hands on your waist, your arms wrapped around his neck... ugh

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Dick is protective of you. He does not like seeing you get hurt. But later on, he starts accepting the fact that you can take care of yourself. But that doesn't mean he won't protect you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Dick puts effort in everything he does for you. Every detail needs to be perfect or he'll crack. He plans out what he'll be doing for each date and anniversary months before.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He's a perfectionist. He feels like he needs to be perfect. Dick also has the habit of bottling up his feelings and never talking about them. He grew up with a lot of siblings and since he is also the oldest among them, he felt obligated to take care of them. He also made sure to never let his facade fall down. :(

(i love you, dick. i swear. i wanna give you a hug so bad but you're not real.)

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Dick definitely has definitely adopted a skincare routine over the years. I mean, he has been fighting villains for years, can't a man have something for himself? Anyway, he definitely cares about how he looks. He isn't self-absorbed but he cares.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

You're his heroin, with and without the e.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Dick Grayson listens to 80s music. I can already imagine him playing something from Bruce's playlist and jamming to it with no shame. I mean, the man has THE ass in Gotham. Why should he be ashamed?

+he loves material girl by madonna

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Dick dislikes people who wouldn't help someone when they are in the middle of a crisis. Maybe it's the fact that he is a vigilante. He loves helping people.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He either sleeps for 17 hours or doesn't. There is no in between.

Dick has a love-hate relationship with sleep.

───── ❝ authors note ❞ ─────

ugh this took three hours. why? i started doing other shit. well, here it is!!! anyway i love soft dick grayson so much like he would definitely whisper "dont worry, love. ive got you." ngl i write smut sometimes but 9/10 i would not want rough sex

i prefer someone gentle omg

what am i doing

fuck

[jarofstyles]

eating from each others plates plsss 🫶🏼🫶🏼

BEAUTIFUL this is bit of dadrry too actually- I kinda changed it a little by accident but I still hope you enjoy it hehe

Prompt list for these asks

Patreon!

----

It was hard to get a minute alone while being parents.

Y/N and Harry loved their children, don't get it wrong. Being a father had been one of his ultimate life goals and Y/N had fallen in love with motherhood, both of them excited to be at every play, soccer match, doctors visit, the works.

But god, was it nice to have a moment of peace.

The children were finally asleep. It had been the entire routine of homework, bath time, bedtime prep, laying out their outfit for the next day before each of them got a bedtime story. They'd gotten back late from a soccer match and selfishly gotten the kids fast food on the way home because Y/N couldn't even think about cooking.

Her own stomach had growled loudly while cleaning up the kitchen, and Harry had laughed under his breath before giving her an innocent look when she grumbled at him for the action. It was these sort of things, the domestic and somewhat unromantic aspects of having a life partner that had surprised her with how much she loved it.

It was easy. Having Harry around made everything more fun, more bearable even at the tough moments. He had always been a good partner despite their tiffs, and that hadn't seemed to change in their 10 years together.

When he had insisted he finish cleaning while she took a shower, she had finally given in and let the hot water relax her muscles, the lavender body wash aiding in the experience before she applied lotion and pulled on a fresh set of pajamas. That was famously one of Harry's shirts and a pair of shorts that could pass for underwear.

"Made us food." He said as she walked into the kitchen. It was pasta. One plate of pasta. She gave him a look as he walked over to the dining table to place it down next to her glass of wine- has she mentioned she loved him?- and sat on the chair, spreading his thighs before patting his lap. "C'mon, mama. You're sleepy and showered. Let's share."

Y/N simply did as told. Too tired to fight, she collapsed on his lap with a hefty sigh, feeling him scoot the chair further in and bring the fork to her mouth to feed her the first bite. Alfredo pasta. Creamy, rich, and something they'd definitely be having as leftovers tomorrow.

"Guess I did alright?" He laughed at her moan, the clean fork falling back to the plate to get himself a bite.

"Mhm." She confirmed before swallowing, watching as he chewed the food before nodding. Yeah, it was exceptionally good. Out of the both of them, it had always made her grumble that he was the better cook- but now she was reaping the benefits.

"Fuck yeah I did." He nodded, taking a sip of his ginger ale. "Love you too much to let you go to bed hungry. Took care of my babies so well today." He smeared a kiss to the side of her head before feeding her another bite. "So now you'll let me take care of you."

[anthonsgi]

★’･ﾟ:｡･:*:HSR Men random bf!headcanons:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★

【Note: Hello! I have decided to write short headcanons for a few men in this game [playable only, sorry Oleg simps (*_ _)人], excuse any fluency errors, English isn't my first language, and I am still learning as I go! Please enjoy, and don't hesitate to request anything; I'm open to suggestions!】

【Pairings: Dan Heng, Gepard, Jing Yuan x GN!READER】

【CW: none!】

☆〜DAN HENG〜☆

He enjoys your company even if you two aren't speaking; simply being aware of your presence near him when he's focused on something insignificant, like reading a book, relaxes him.

Definitely has a soft spot for you and lets go of his usual cold and reserved demeanor when you two are alone.

There have been a few instances of him unconsciously beaming at you as he got lost in thought, looking at your excited face while you rambled about something you're passionate about. He'd never admit to it, though, if you called him out on it.

Prefers to be the big spoon mainly because he loves the feeling of your back pressing against his chest when your breathing slows as you fall asleep.

However, he appreciates it if you ask to be the big spoon whenever he has a nightmare or one of his visions.

He has little relationship experience [renheng ＼(º □ º l|l)/], so as committed as he is to making you feel loved and appreciated, he searches the data bank in the archives for information on romantic gestures and comes across a book about the significance of pet names. After "educating" himself more, he may refer to you as "my love," "darling," or even "baby" if he's feeling particularly lovey-dovey.

Dan Heng isn't a jealous boyfriend; nevertheless, if something bothers him, he becomes touchy! Always holding your arm or wrapping his hand around your waist.

Haven only just awakened, he's such a sleepy cutie! He'd try to kiss you but miss and peck your chin instead.

☆〜GEPARD〜☆

He's an exceptionally blushy guy, and it's pretty simple to make him flustered. Just hold his hand, and he'll melt.

No matter how long you've been together, Gepard loves to kiss but will never do it without getting your consent first. His kisses are short and gentle, but they are also tender and reassuring, given that he frequently cups your face in his hands.

Even though this guy evidently struggles to keep his plants alive, he will make every effort to grow a lovely flower as a gift for you.

He attracts kids like a magnet; some of them aspire to be captains like him, and it's the cutest thing ever to see him grow nervous as they shower him with compliments and questions.

Sometimes he'd find you asleep on the couch, and he'd pick you up bridal style and carry you to bed carefully so as not to wake you.

Oftentimes, Gepard's responsibilities prevent him from spending time with you, but he always strives to make up for it.

Used a cheesy pickup line once and never tried it again after feeling the second-hand embarrassment.

He always looks for a way to impress you with his strength.

☆〜JING YUAN〜☆

His duty as General usually keeps him occupied with work stuff, so when you pay him a visit during the day, he'll light up almost instantly and he'll be in a good mood.

You have to constantly kick him (gently or with force depending on how much sleep he has robbed you of) so he can turn to the other side and stop snoring.

When writing about his day in his diary, he always mentions the instances where something reminded him of you. (Spoiler alert: the majority of his day description is him adoring your facial features).

Jing Yuan's kisses are typically quick, although if he's feeling exceptionally touch-deprived, he prefers deeper, longer kisses.

If you decide to move in with him, it will be incredibly domestic; you would prepare each other's favorite drinks and meals just the way you like them without needing to ask, and you will share each other's clothes and accessories on a daily basis.

Routine, even if secure, can be exhausting, and he finds himself trapped in one. Therefore, Jing Yuan appreciates it when you try new things with him and make him feel like he can breathe freely again. Without worrying about any boring responsibilities, just you and him spending time together. Those are his most treasured moments.

He's very protective of you. Secretly that is. It might seem that he's not that bothered by the times you may have spent a while longer on an errand or went exploring, but he's actually worried! Sometimes to the point of sending someone to go look for you, just to be sure you're all safe and sound.

Has asked you to massage his back on multiple ocassions after a particularly tiring day.

[veliseraptor]

a quote from the yi city arc in the novel that absolutely kills me every time:

As though someone had just thrown cold water directly in his face or slapped him awake in the middle of a dream, Xue Yang’s complexion turned an exceptionally ugly color at once.

I think it's the "slapped him awake in the middle of a dream" bit. this little ersatz domestic life for all the fucked up at the base of it has been a dream for xue yang, something he's never had before. and now, just with the fact of his name being spoken aloud, even before the final collapse, that's already slipping away.

because the life he's had with xiao xingchen isn't for xue yang; it only exists as long as he isn't himself.

[astrodescent]

NEPTUNE AND THE KIND OF DAYDREAMS YOU MIGHT HAVE

neptune in astrology represents the planet associated with dreams, illusions, and spirituality. it influences our capacity for imagination, intuition, and the desire to connect with higher realms, but it can also bring confusion, escapism, and a tendency to see the world through a veil of idealism or delusion.

aries / 1H: adventures, taking risks, impulsive actions, personal growth, idealized self image, ascend personal victory, being seen as a leader

taurus / 2H: materialistic, luxury, comfort, food, owning property, stability & security, gardening, creating art, being worthy, success

gemini / 3H: communication, writing, being smart, learning, school days, being seen as witty and intelligent, having access to knowledge, siblings, neighbours

cancer / 4H: family, motherhood, having a comforting home, sense of belonging, ancestors, domestic life, home decorating, family history / secrets

leo / 5H: creativity, romance, drama, theatre, preforming, being in the spotlight, love affairs, recognition for their artistic talents, applause

virgo / 6H: work, helping others, health, science, being exceptionally good at their job, making a difference, cleaning, having order & control

libra / 7H: relationships, partnerships, art, beauty, idealistic partnership, balance and fairness, law, aesthetics, spiritual fulfillment

scorpio / 8H: mystical themes, sex, drugs, rebirth, dying & funerals, intense emotions, inheritance, deep transformational experiences

sagittarius / 9H: travelling, education, institutions, university, freedom, law, morals, adventures, global issues, higher truth, different belief systems

capricorn / 10H: public image, legacy, recognition, authority, social status, being seen with integrity, authenticity, career, creating a foundation

aquarius / 11H: inventions, societies, cultures, new technologies, close knit relationships, dystopian futures, aiding in societal change, creating a better world

pisces / 12H: spiritual & mystical themes, higher powers, divine healing, transcending material world, deep empathic scenarios, using artistic abilities, forgiving past trauma

© spirit-of-phantom 2023

[serpentface]

First Goose of Spring: What was it like living in Cynozepal?

"...I haven't actually seen much of it, but the kingslek had the most stunning view of the mountains. They rise higher than anything you've ever seen, I'm sure, all the way up to the clouds. And our serfs actually live up there! It must be awful, braving the heights and fending off those little qilik barbarians. But we are a very strong people, so they manage just fine.

But the kingslek was the very best place in Cynozepal. It had everything you could possibly want. There was a garden with a little herd of horses living in it, and a spring to bathe in, and musicians and singers, and plenty of good food and wine, and the finest cushions to sleep on, and a HUGE library that had every book in the civilized world, probably? And there were always tons of servants around to care for us. My handmaid, Gray Gull Comes Home Wealthy With Fish - may her next birth be prosperous - lived in the kingslek too. Because she used to be a concubine, I guess? And she was the best of all. I never learned to read like my older sisters did - may their next births be prosperous -, but she would read to me whenever I wanted so it was okay.

So obviously I never wanted to leave. But my sisters and I had to leave the kingslek sometimes. Like when our mothers and father had very, very important guests, or when there was an execution, or for the solstice songs. And this was always a dreadful bore. But Gray Gull Comes Home Wealthy With Fish would always bring my favorite books along, so it wasn't TOO bad. And she would always, ALWAYS carry me there on her back. Until I got too big, but we have litters for that.

And now, I am expected to walk everywhere. EVERYWHERE! Or fly like a serf, sun be swallowed. I hate it here."

---

Notes:

-Goose is the absolute worst source to to ask about life in Cynozepal. First and foremost, she's a young child and hasn't been on this earth all that long (she's cognitively equivalent to a human preteen, and is 5 years old). As the third youngest princess among 39 daughters, Goose spent the vast majority of her life both cloistered in the kingslek (which is a privilege) while experiencing little to no pressure to excel and being minimally educated (as she was exceptionally unlikely to be married into an important political role). She would leave this space only infrequently, and never once stepped foot outside of the palace grounds prior to her dynasty's fall.

...And she LOVED it. Now she’s out seeing the world firsthand, breathing the fresh air and feeling the ground beneath her feet, and it fucking suuuuuckkkkkssssss, man.

-The kingslek refers both to the collective women in a royal family (wives, concubines, daughters, all of whom will typically outnumber the men at LEAST 20:1) and the domestic space in which they live. This is a massive section of the palace (as it houses most of the members) complete with its own amenities, gardens, etc. It is functionally the center of power and politics within the palace (the culture itself is not outright matriarchal, but the institution of the kingslek effectively has more political power than the king, and tremendous sway on his actions).

-Honeythief is translating for her. He frequently manipulates his translations to make her sound a little more down to earth (but still regal and far, far more important than you) and less like an exceptionally ignorant, spoiled child, but his translation here is accurate.

-Crown Cynozepali language is (and a majority of caelin and delkhin languages are) predominantly tonal in nature, supplemented with rapid clicks and deep booming 'drum' beats (it is these aspects that are physically impossible for humans to accurately reproduce). To a human ear, these languages often sound like vaguely musical but discordant barrage of sounds. I'm attempting to represent this visually with dots and squiggles.

-'Little qilik barbarians' is not referring to qilik of the region as a whole. She is referring disparagingly to the Cu-Chukka, which are a people that traditionally inhabit the higher reaches of the Azure Mountains, and do not frequently interact with the Crown Cynozepali sphere outside of land conflicts with serfs (who build their homes at high altitudes and often encroach on Cu-Chukka territory). 'Barbarian' in this context is a racist and xenophobic insult that groups together all qilik, caelin, and delkhin peoples that do not speak Crown.

Honeythief is Chit-Sut-Susit (a nationality native to parts of eastern Cynozepal and the Ch'Chen plateau, most of whom exist within the Crown cultural sphere), and is not receiving a microaggression in this particular context.

-Crown Cynozepali personal names are descriptive phrases. Song and poetry is of central cultural import, and naming conventions are rooted in these poetic traditions, designed to be beautiful and evocative turns of phrase. This is often lost in translation, and the names take substantially longer to speak when translated into most human languages.

-There are taboos surrounding speech that evokes the recently dead (defined as within a solar year), that require additions of placating phrases that will dissuade the dead from attaching to the speaker and direct them towards a good rebirth. "May her next birth be prosperous" is one example. Goose's handmaid and most if not all of her sisters (among other relations) were killed in the coup.

-The 'solstice songs' refer to traditional 'boomsinging' performed at the summer and winter equinox to call down the Solar Dragon. (boomsinging is an artform utilizing the deep, thunderous vocalizations caelin and delkhin can produce- sounds like a combination of throat singing, drum beats, and a noise kind of like a sage grouse display but deeper. The sound can travel for miles)

-'Sun be swallowed' is a translation of a phrase used to (often hyperbolically) emphasize the horror and depravity of a situation. Kind of saying 'what's next? the end of the world?'.

-Kingslek members and royalty as a whole are transported from place to place in litters and carriages, but they aren't carried literally Everywhere (they do like, walk). Goose recalling constantly riding on the back of her handmaid is describing a time where she was a tiny 5 lb child (a phase in life where most caelin and delkhin children will ride on their mother's backs).

[achilles-rage]

SFW Alphabet

word count: 3.1k

A/N: i'm so sorry his took a while to write, i got really into bridgeton and binged the whole thing so my mind was on that. also, i felt like lady whistledown while finishing this LOL. anyway, enjoy<3

warnings: none, no use of y/n, fem!reader, plus size!reader, race inclusive!reader

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He likes some PDA, but will tone it down most of the time, opting to have his arm around you or steal quick kisses when attention isn't on you. At home, however, he is ON YOU, as touch is the easiest way for him to show affection. He wants to have you as close to him as possible, with his hands all over you. I think words of affirmation are also important for him to receive, so he loves hearing you tell him how much you love and appreciate him.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He can become friends with anyone at any time. He is a yapper. And with all his random facts in the back of his brain I think he can find common ground with just about anyone. If on the odd chance he doesn't, he's more than happy to listen and learn. As a friend, there is nothing he wouldn't do to keep you safe and happy. He would make sure to check in all the time and would be happy to do favours, anytime you need. I think in a best friend he needs someone to have serious conversations with, but also have fun with. He loves to have a friend he can truly open up to about his childhood or anything he's feeling, and of course will listen to you in return.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

CUDDLER ALERT!!! BIG MAN BABY ALERT!!!!! He loves physical touch, so cuddling is one of his favourite ways of showing affection. He would cuddle with you in any place and any position but there's something about being little spoon that hits so hard, especially after a long day at work. He also loves laying on his back with your head on his chest and vice versa so he can lay on your tits<3

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

This man owns a fucking APRON!! He is in his element in a domestic little scenario. He wants nothing more than to start a loving family and create a safe place with his partner. He definitely likes cooking more than cleaning, but he's fair, and will divide cooking and household chores pretty evenly.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He's been to therapy, and we've all seen how his other relationships have ended. He now knows the importance of communication, so I think there would be a lead up to a break up. He wants nothing more than to work it out with you, trying to talk out the issues, but if there was no plausible solution, he would sit you down and have an honest, but respectful conversation about it.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He wants to be married so bad!!! He can't wait to find the right person to settle down with. He loves seeing all the happy couples he works with, and he can't wait to add someone to the 118 fam. I think the timeline could go two ways, he's pretty impulsive, so I could definitely see him proposing within a year of dating (if everything is going exceptionally smoothly). The other way it could go is him waiting like, a weirdly long time. He's a bit nervous about you saying no, so he holds off (even though he imagines you with a ring on your finger very often), but one day just kinda blurts it out. Maybe you're laying in bed, talking and giggling and he's just filled with an uncontrollable joy, and he just has to speak his mind. After he says it he kinda freezes, looking at you nervously before you of course say yes and he's basically jumping for joy, hugging you and kissing all over your face and pulling the ring out of his closet that he bought but was too nervous to present to you in the traditional way lol.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He's pretty gentle overall, both physically and emotionally. He's seen how he who shall not be named has affected Maddie and would never do anything to make someone afraid of him in that way (either a partner or a friend). He loves giving you soft touches, loving how you shiver as his fingers trail down your arms, your chest, your soft stomach, your plush thighs. He's also a man who has been to therapy, so he might be a little impulsive, but he has a lot of emotional intelligence, and always tries to ground himself and be as gentle as possible in any situation when it comes to people he cares about.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

King of hugs, truly. He LOVES them. It's a nice way for him to show how much he cares, and how much he loves you, so expect them often. If you're not one for physical touch, he understands, but sometimes he just can't help himself. Sometimes he needs a good hug to calm him down, or during the odd time that he has no words, he tries to put all his emotions into a hug. He's a bear hugger, he loves feeling your arms around him, your chest and soft belly pressing against him. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you in as close as you can possibly get, resting his cheek on the top of your head. When he's really happy, his arms are going around your waist, lifting you up off the ground as you protest, fighting out a "put me down" through giggles, but still hugging him back. He will hear none of your protests, of course. Have you seen his arms? He works out. "Of course I can lift you, pretty girl"

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I think he waits a while to say it. He's been in his fair share of relationships and is a little weary of people leaving, so I think saying I love you could be something that he's a little hesitant to say early. Once he does, however, it's coming out of his mouth about 30 more times before the day ends. Before he says it, there's plenty of other ways he says it without actually saying the words. "Text me when you get home." "Did you eat today?" "Here, let me help you with that." That sort of thing. To him, words of affirmation are important, he likes to hear how things are going, so him saying I love you is just his way of ensuring that he's in it all the way.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ok, I know what you're going to say, "but what about 7x04???" I know, but I think those were slightly different circumstances. I think before he gets into a relationship, and he knows that you only want him, he can get very jealous. If he sees someone getting a little too close to you, it takes everything in him not to physically get in between you and the person you're talking to (even though he sometimes will discreetly, brushing it off as him wanting to tell you something or show you something). He's scared that you'll choose someone else instead and leave him. He'll hang out with you more, asking more and more about this new person in your life, making sure that they don't have a better chance to get with you than he does.

If you are dating, however, I think he really tones it down on the jealousy. Instead of worrying about other people, he shows you how much he cares about you. If he really feels jealous, I think he may bring it up to you, as he's learned the importance of communication, and will try to come up with a fair way to solve this problem. He doesn't expect you to not talk to this person anymore, he more just needs to hear that you want him, not the other person, and that you are happy in your relationship.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I could actually write 100,000 words about this I think, but I'll keep it short(ish). This man THRIVES on kisses, if you think he loves hugging, good lord you're in for it. He puts so much emotion into his kisses, if it's not just a peck, and you're not expecting it, it'll leave your head spinning. He'll give you quick pecks all the time, but sometimes he can't help but wrap his arms around you and give you a long passionate kiss. Once he pulls away he'll kiss your face all over, loving how you laugh softly. He also loves giving you kisses on the top of your head when he hugs you, just letting you know that he's there and he loves you. His favourite, however, are neck and jaw kisses, both giving and receiving. He loves how you tilt your head back, sighing softly as he kisses you, melting against his touch. He also loves feeling your lips on him, squeezing your waist tighter as you kiss him, feeling so loved and cared for in that moment. Be warned though, if you kiss that man's jaw, he has no choice but to jump on you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Dear god he loves kids so much, we've all seen how he is with Jee, the baby from episode one, and that little girl stuck in the claw machine. He's full of energy anyway, so he loves running around with them, colouring with them, watching their silly little shows and singing with them. I also believe this man is a girl dad, and you WILL catch him wearing a tutu and a little princess crown on his head, looking comically large with a little teacup in his hand (with freshly painted bright pink nails, his pinky out, obviously) and sitting uncomfortably at his daughters teeny little table.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If neither of you work, you take the opportunity to spend some extra time in bed, slowly waking up together as Buck has practically wrapped himself around you. When you finally drag yourselves out of bed, you go downstairs to make some coffee. If you're feeling fancy you'll make some waffles with strawberries and blueberries, but most of the time it's eggs or frozen waffles lol. You spend the morning quietly, just enjoying each other's company before getting on with your day, using it as a time of relaxing and being close to each other.

On days where one or both of you works, you'll still stay in bed for a few minutes, happily pressed against each other before you finally have to get ready for the day. You'll mostly spend your time separately as you get ready, whoever has more time that morning will brew the coffee and bring up that and something quick for breakfast to the other, with a soft kiss as a thank you. While you spend your mornings doing your own things to get ready, they're still full of touching and kissing as either of you pass each other, still wanting to spend some time together before you leave for the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Buck loves cooking, so on nights where you both are home he'll cook a nice meal for you, sometimes letting you help. After dinner you'll both get into your comfy clothes, ready to spend the night winding down. We all know Buck loves learning new things, and has an unending amount of fun facts up his sleeve, so he loves to curl up on the couch with you and watch shows about his current hyper fixation.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

I think he'll reveal things slowly to you. He's not necessarily hiding it, he just brings it up as it comes up naturally in conversation. I think he also tends to reveal the more traumatic things about himself randomly, leaving you looking at him with your jaw dropped, unsure of what to say. He looks at you sheepishly, shrugging softly as you regain your composure, pulling him in for a hug/kiss before you let him explain, if he wishes to.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

I think with you he has a lot of patience, but it also depends on what exactly it's about. If it's about your wellbeing he would definitely get upset quickly if you were brushing off your wellbeing in favour of work/other people/etc, but I think a lot of the time he tries not to get too worked up. Communication is very important to him, so rather than getting upset over small things, he chooses to have an in depth conversation about anything you may disagree about.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers a lot about you. It's like memorizing the silly topics he researches. He wants to know everything there is to know about you. He remembers a lot of little things, like your favourite flowers, or how you hate when people chew with their mouth open. He also knows you though, so a lot of the time, if he can't really remember something, he knows you well enough to take a guess and be mostly right. Your favourite snack slips his mind when he's getting groceries? He knows if you usually reach for sweet or salty, and he knows generally what you like, so if he had to guess, it would be one of your favourite snacks, at least.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favourite memory is the first time you spent the night at his place. When you woke up in his arms you looked so happy, eyes still full of sleep and hair a bit of a mess, but he thought you looked so pretty. You stayed in bed for a while, content in just being close to each other, exchanging soft kisses and giggles, before you got up. He wanted to show off his cooking skills, so he made your favourite breakfast, and you looked so happy at his kitchen table, like you belonged. He also noticed how you were a little bit surprised by his actions, not used to this treatment from other men from your past, and he vowed that he was gonna treat you so well that you would forget all about the way you've been treated by your exes.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is extremely protective of everyone in his life. If he had to choose to put himself into a dangerous situation versus you, he would choose himself in a heartbeat. I think in situations that are less life or death, he'd still be very protective, not wanting anything to happen to you. I don't think he'd be protective in an overbearing way, but he would want to make sure that you weren't in any kind of danger that he could've prevented.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in SO MUCH EFFORT!!! I don't think he puts in a ton of effort for every single date, sometimes just opting for a nice night in or something more lowkey, but if he wants to, he will do anything to make you feel special. I think he puts in a lot of effort into most aspects of a relationship: gift giving, communication, etc.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Sometimes, when he's trying to get one of Bobby's recipes right, and he's feeling a little frustrated about it, he'll flop down on the couch instead of cleaning up the kitchen. You walk into the house, eyes falling on the dishes and food all over the counters, looking over at Buck, who smiles innocently. He comes over to you, wrapping his arms around you as he kisses you softly, which works in trying to get your mind off of it. He knows the disastrous kitchen drives you crazy, and he will get to it eventually, but sometimes he doesn't wanna get to it right away.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He puts in a fair amount of effort. He clearly works out, and enjoys being in as good a shape as he can be, but he also takes the time to look put together when he's in public. At home he cares less about looking perfect, but he still cares.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

This man YEARNS for a partner that he can experience life with. I think when he meets the right person he will definitely feel like a weight is lifted off his shoulders, realizing how good sharing a life with you is. While he does think it's important for you two to have lives outside of the relationship (your own friends and hobbies), he loves to have someone to come home to at the end of the day and know that he has someone rooting for him and vice versa. While he doesn’t necessarily feel incomplete without a relationship, he definitely thinks you bring out a side of him that he likes.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

HEAR ME OUT!

This man LOVES to be pampered!!! If you ever wanna have a little spa night with him, he is agreeing so fast. He'll let you wash his hair while you take a shower, he'll sit there while you put a face mask on him, and then he'll lay there while you massage his back, and he'll of course return the favour. He eats up all the attention you give him, and he loves how refreshed he feels after your little spa night. He'll feel so relaxed and would have the best sleep of his life with you wrapped in his arms after.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

I feel like he hates it when people are late. The odd time, fine. He can’t blame you if you lose track of time or run into traffic. But if someone is consistently late, he can’t help but get that feeling that it’s because they don’t wanna be there, or that they don’t care about him. In his words, he is always the one that watches others leave, and being late makes him feel a little bit like someone leaving him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

We all know this man SNORES, which you were surprised about at first. How can this peaceful looking little guy be so goddamn loud?? It takes a while to get used to, but after a while, it becomes a little comforting. On nights that he's not sleeping beside you, it feels a little too quiet. He's also a big cuddle bug, he loves feeling you pressed up against him when he goes to sleep, knowing you're so close to him. If he woke up in the middle of the night and had somehow gotten out of his grip he'd be moving over beside you, draping an arm over your soft tummy before passing back out again.

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[a-dinosaur-a-day]

Opinions on owning pet parrots? I'm doing a degree in animal welfare and have pretty much come to the conclusion that the smaller species are fine if you can provide what they need but the larger birds like the greys, outside of being rescues, shouldn't be pets at all.

Okaaaaaaaay so time to make everyone mad at me again I guess

parrots have been human companion animals for longer than Judaism has been around, so, I don't think we can just say "it's wrong" and force everyone to stop doing a thing that's been done for that long. Like, this isn't a human randomly taking home a tiger, this is a long going process with many species of parrots now being near-domesticated in the strictest sense of the term

Parrot ownership is in fact ancient in many "tropical" areas and the idea that it's a new thing is... white supremacy! what a shock!

in the United States (I am not talking about other countries, just my own), literally no companion parrots are wild caught anymore. They're bred. Bred as companions. If we were to outlaw larger parrot ownership, many birds would be without a home, and that's morally reprehensible

in fact, the kind of backlash against parrot ownership that's risen up in the past decade has directly led to a shelter crisis. most shelters are overfilled and overstressed, which is a *lot* worse for the birds in many cases than home ownership

parrots are pets that have extraordinarily high care needs. They are not good pets for everyone. but no pet is! Every single companion animal has its pluses and downsides, and many of them have many more downsides than pluses. Doesn't mean they shouldn't have a home.

There are some people who are actually able to take care of companion parrots, adequately, in their homes. First of all, we've learned a lot in the past few decades. Second of all, there are lifestyles that work well with even larger parrots and their needs.

So, while the number of human beings on this planet who can adequately take care of large parrots is extremely small, it is not zero. Which means if someone thinks they can take care of a bird well, and has the space and resources and time, then they should be allowed to, if that's what they wish

Because birds in the USA are bred as companions, the vast majority of said parrots would be unhappy in any situation that doesn't involve close contact with humans. Admittedly, all my parrots are "small" (whatever that means), but I know for a fact that if you took them away from our home they would be significantly worse off, because they're bonded to us. That's how this whole flocking thing works

Also, our most recent rescues, who had been stuck in a shelter for 15 years, are definitely happier now getting more individual attention and space. Shelters are supposed to be temporary places for most birds, not permanent homes, because they can't get the adequate level of care and attention that they need.

also, I'll point out that being pets has allowed many parrot species to have thriving populations that are not threatened by climate change, which is something to their benefit. given. you know. climate change. not that pet ownership is conservation, but, it's not that far removed from it - the axolotl population owes a lot to both pet ownership and zoo captivity, for example.

like, it's a spectrum, right? And it doesn't really go along with size, at the end of the day. There are tons of extremely neurotic and high needs small parrots, and many larger ones that are exceptionally chill. So while the vast majority of humans on this planet should not have a parrot, that's not all of them; and while the number that can handle higher maintenance ones is even smaller, its not zero. And I think, given the fact that we have all of these captive bred birds in the states at least, it's not a good idea to tell people that there is no way to ethically practice husbandry with them.

and I'm not the kind of person who assumes I know everything about someone's life in order to tell them "no you shouldn't bring home that cockatoo", so I'm not going to. In fact, I give everyone on the internet the benefit of the doubt if they have a parrot unless a) that parrot shows signs of distress (like plucking) or b) there is clearly something wrong going on (like someone's smoking weed around their bird)

so, no, there's no commonly kept (and thus domestically captive bred) bird I think is a bad pet for every single human on the planet. And it's not my business whether a particular individual should or should not have a particular bird.

[chibinasuu]

Money and Tangerines | Nami x Reader

Part of the Thousand Sunny Slice-of-Life Series

Find the other parts with the rest of the Straw Hats here

Summary: You and Nami sort out the crew's budget under the shade of her tangerine trees as the Sunny approaches a new island Word count: 792  Tags: one-shot, pure fluff, domestic bliss onboard the sunny, platonic straw hat pirates x reader, main pairing could be interpreted as platonic or romantic, no use of y/n, GN but written with F!Reader in mind

You look at the numbers on the Straw Hat Crew’s finance logbook, slowly being filled with dread as you put your head in your hands. 

“Nami...” You started hesitantly, “We’re broke.”

Nami sighed loudly, but you swear you could hear a hint of a smile as she replied, “Well, that’s not exactly news, is it?”

Nami went back to watering her tangerine trees, while you return to calculating the meager amount of Berries that your crew has left. 

You and Nami usually sort out the crew’s finances inside the library, but today she took your hand and practically dragged you outside as she said, “Don’t you think it’s a waste to be inside when we have such perfect weather today?”

So that’s how you ended up at a picnic table on the Sunny’s upper deck, shaded from the sun by Nami’s tangerine trees. A slow breeze picked up, offering reprieve from the heat. 

Nami told you yesterday that the ship has entered an island’s climate, likely a summer one, and just this morning, Usopp shouted “Land ho!” as he pointed out the barely visible stretch of land on the horizon. It would still take the ship around a day to reach the island, but Usopp was positive that he saw a town when he stole a look with his spyglass. 

Landing at town usually means Luffy, Zoro, and Chopper going off on an ‘adventure’ the second Sunny touches the port. They will likely get lost, but you always find them eventually, often at a restaurant, ordering way more food and booze than they could actually afford. 

Sanji takes care of groceries, while Franky and Usopp resupply necessities for the ship. Robin, Brook, or Jinbei – the three most seasoned pirates of the crew – are usually the ones who offer to stay behind and watch the Sunny, content to leave the exploring to their younger crewmates. 

As for you, well, more often than not, you find yourself trailing beside the orange-haired girl as she enters store after store, finding items to fill her already overflowing wardrobe. You usually opted to just window shop, not buying anything unless absolutely necessary, but Nami always managed to swindle some poor shopkeeper into giving her huge discounts after some harmless flirting (or resorting to not-so-subtle threats if that fails). 

That is to say, landing at town means spending some Berries, and it’s up to you and Nami to sort out a budget to make sure the crew doesn’t go overboard with their purchases. 

You sighed again as your thumb and forefinger flicked through the banknotes, setting aside the proper amount needed for groceries. You know Sanji is more on the financially-responsible side among the crew, but his self-restraint may have crumbled once or twice before whenever he saw the rare, not to mention exceptionally pricey, Blue-Finned Elephant Tuna at the fishmonger. You had to admit the damn fish was delicious though, so you’re not exactly complaining. 

“Oh, cheer up! I’m sure we’ll figure this out.” Nami said as she poked your cheek playfully and took a seat next to you, “We always do, don’t we?”

She put on her reading glasses and leaned over to scan the logbook, her nimble fingers absentmindedly peeling the ripe tangerine that she just plucked from her tree.

She took the pencil from you and crossed out a few items off the shopping list efficiently, muttering a series of nope’s, nuh-uh’s, and we-still-have-enough-of-that’s. You also offered your inputs, pointing out which items seemed unnecessary at the moment, and which ones could be replaced with a lower-cost alternative. 

The sun slowly dipped into the horizon as you and Nami got lost in your discussion, often going off on a tangent while munching on some tangerines, before ultimately getting back to the task at hand. 

You stretched your arms above your head with a groan as you two finally finished divvying up the crew’s allowance. Nami brought the last wedge of her tangerine up to your lips, and you leaned forward to accept it. 

“Told ya we’d figure it out!” She chimed with a big smile on her face. 

The sound of footsteps approaching caught your attention, and you saw the telltale moss-colored hair of the swordsman peeking out as he ascended the stairs to the upper deck. 

“Oi, Curly said dinner’s almost ready.” Zoro called out. 

“Be right there!” Nami cheerfully replied. 

She got up and plucked a few more tangerines from her tree, handing over a couple to you, “C’mon, let’s get Sanji-kun to make some dessert with these!” 

Nami excitedly linked her arm with yours and headed towards the dining room. You eagerly followed her lead, already looking forward to the fresh, citrusy delicacy that will surely grace the dinner table tonight.

a/n: it’s canon that luffy is reckless with money so i sometimes think about how broke the straw hats must be lmao. yet they always seemed to manage somehow and i think that must've come down to nami’s super efficient and tight money management. we love our economical queen 👌🏻

Find the other parts with the rest of the Straw Hats here

[patriottruth]

Every male trump voter in the United States is about to learn the truth about the deeply-rooted genetic rage that all living American women and girls of all ages have toward any and every male who voted, or who even would vote, for donald j. trump...

Luke 11:51 from the blood of Abel to the blood of Zechariah, who was killed between the altar and the sanctuary. Yes, I tell you, this generation will be held responsible for it all.

Every generation of American women have been victimized by trash like donald j. trump, nick fuentes, and every worthless piece of shit like them. It's like in Kamala Harris' presidential campaign vs. donald trump's presidential campaign:

Is her laugh perfect? Are her hair, clothes, and makeup flawless and has she avoided wearing a similar-looking outfit and/or fashion accessory more than once? Is she physically fit and pretty? Is she perfectly spoken at all times while being simultaneously pleasant and non-offensive? Is she enunciating perfectly at all times? Is she presenting herself in a refined, sophisticated, and high-class manner at all times, while simultaneously coming across as a lady of the common folks, without sounding fake, forced, condescending, or patronizing?

But donald trump? Lazy, fat slob with caked and greasy spray-on fecal application, wearing the same thing every time, and then there's all of that no-class, low-class, low-IQ, no-IQ, uneducated, boorish, word-slurring, mindnumbingly boring, retarded screaming-at-clouds, hateful Nazi grandpa routine showcasing extreme cognitive decline...and he and everyone like him in the United States gets a free pass, patted on the back, congratulated, awarded, rewarded, glorified, and celebrated as the living avatar of "American Exceptionalism" and genetic perfection while calling any women they work with their "work-wives" and expecting them to dress and act as a 1930's, 1940's, 1950's, 1960's, and 1970's wife should for her "loving" husband (whom she's entirely dependent on and thankful for).

Kamala Harris is being brutalized and treated as if she's the worst failure in American history, yet, if we can actually trust the swing state results, it's possible that trump may have only won each of the swing states by tens of thousands to less than 150,000 in most cases; and at this time, donald trump only has around 3,000,000 more popular votes than Kamala Harris nationwide (Hillary Clinton beat donald trump by 3,000,000 popular votes in 2016 with 5,000,000 less votes than Kamala Harris received in 2024). Why wasn't donald trump brutalized in all the same ways for losing to Hillary Clinton by 3,000,000 votes in 2016?

And then there's the lie that no one showed up to vote for Kamala Harris because of a whole host of reasons you normally hear coming out of the mouths of male domestic abusers; but it's coming from men and women talking heads at the main media outlets. And let's not forget about how those domestic abuser insults include being incapable of managing money (a man's job, a breadwinner's job, but never a woman's job or entitlement). Kamala Harris is receiving massive 1930's, 1940's, 1950's, 1960's, and 1970's misogynistic abuse from every possible outlet that was cordial to her until the last poll closed on November 5, 2024.

American Women Have Only Had a Legal/Constitutional Right to Vote to Advance the Human and Civil Rights of All American Women and Girls Since August 26, 1920 (104 years).

American Women and Girls Have Only Had Access to Real Financial Independence Since October 28, 1974 (50 years).

American Women and Girls Have Only Had Access to Real Business Ownership Since October 25, 1988 (36 years).

The entire American story of real human and civil rights for American women and girls is only as old as most living American grandmothers and their daughters, granddaughters, and great granddaughters.

American males of all ages are about to be tested for their character, qualities, truth, and honor; and the ones who fail the tests they'll never realize they're taking won't be reproducing more donald trumps, nick fuentes', and trump voters.

There are stories all over Reddit about American Thanksgiving and Christmas get-togethers being cancelled and people cutting trump-voting family members and former friends out of their lives for voting to end their human and civil rights, freedoms, privileges, and entitlements that American women and girls of all ages have only started to really enjoy for the last 50 years.

American women in their 90's and 80's placed all their hopes and dreams in their daughters who are now in their 60's and 50's; and those daughters placed all of their and their mother's hopes and dreams into their daughters who are now in their 30's and 20's; and those daughters placed all of their hopes and dreams into their daughters; but because of every last trump-voting male in the United States, all of those American women and girls' hopes and dreams are in the process of being completely and permanently destroyed; and all of those pre-K and K-12 daughters now have less rights than their great grandmothers.

You can't treat other human beings that way and think they're not gonig to feel certain ways about it.

I really wouldn't want to be a male trump voter right about now...

After nick fuentes made his little "Your Body, My Choice," "Men Win," and "There Will Never Be a Female President...NEVER" speech, women doxxed him, showed up at his house, he pepper-sprayed one and kicked her down a flight of brick stairs, police and EMS showed up to care for the woman, and now little nick fuentes is hiding in his mommy's basement so she can protect his "Alpha Male" self.

Fool around and find out is definitely the phrase of the day.