#and being bill’s problem

[teecupangel]

Have you seen the show Ultimate Beastmaster? Imagine if the assassins tried that thinking no one is looking and everyone is just staring at them shocked because they did the whole course flawlessly

“Okay, anyone wants to tell me how this catastrophe happened?” Bill asked thru gritted teeth as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Well, a few millennias ago, a race of powerful-”

“I am not talking about the Solar Flare and you know it!” Bill glared at his only son who had been a quiet obedient kid…

Until he became friends with the three banes of Bill’s existence…

The other three narrowed their eyes at him which Bill ignored.

They had always been a bit too protective of his son.

But that only served to spoil Desmond and Bill wished he could find a way to pull him away from their ‘influence’ but they were the best field agents right now and Desmond needed to learn from the best.

But that did not mean…

Bill turned his laptop around where a video titled “Awesome Beastmaster Clears By The White Hood Gang!” was paused. It already had 21 million views and it had only been a goddamn day since it was uploaded. That kind of statistic was simply too much and Bill was quite sure Abstergo most probably rewatched this… a lot.

“So… anyone wants to explain this to me?”

All four men remained quiet and adopted blank expressions on their faces.

“Did none of you even consider that those cameras would have been recording even IF the shooting was scheduled tomorrow?!”

They all looked at one another before Ezio, their usual spokesperson, explained, “We were running away from Templars after acquiring the POE they had been delivering nearby. We noticed the obstacle course and decided it would be much faster to proceed thru it than to go around it, perhaps even lose some of our pursuers in the course itself and give us more time to get away.”

Ezio was surprisingly serious as he concluded, “It was a calculated risk we needed to take to accomplish the mission.”

Bill stared at him with a ‘don’t bullshit me, kid’ expression as he pushed the spacebar.

The laptop’s tiny speakers soon let out Ezio’s holler of “You gotta be faster than that, fratello mio! My younger brother is faster than you!”

Ezio didn’t twitch even as Bill said, “And was trash-talking Altaïr also necessary in completing the mission?”

The video kept playing and they heard a commentator that had been added to the video announce, “Oh! White Hood No 1 just grabbed 2 from the back and pulled him down! He skids- AND he’s able to hold on to the chains!”

Bill turned his not-angry-only-disappointed-and-having-a-headache-because-of-your-stupidity expression at Altaïr, “And sabotaging Ezio? Was that also necessary?”

“It was planned,” Altaïr replied vaguely and all four kept their blank expressions on.

Bill glared at the supposed prodigy of their Brotherhood and wondered if Rashid would mind if he hit his grandson on the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

Repeatedly.

“And 3 and 4 just jumped over 2! 4 is even laughing and-”

“A little help?!”

“You can do it! We believe in you!”

“-It seems 3 and 4 will not be helping 2 up!”

Bill turned to glare at his son and Ratonhnhaké:ton who he had thought would be above all this.

It seemed he had been wrong.

Bill finally clicked the spacebar once more to pause the video and rubbed the bridge of his nose again as he announced, “All of you are off the field until further notice. You will all be in support duty while Erudito cleans up your mess. Report to Shaun for further instructions.”

“Yes, sir.” They all answered curtly.

“Dismissed.”

He waited until they were all out of his office. Then waited a couple of minutes more to be sure they wouldn’t see him in their Eagle Vision before groaning as he slumped into his seat. He took the secret bottle of scotch he had in the bottom drawer of his office desk and didn’t bother to take the glass next to it, simply twisting the cap off and taking a large swing from the bottle itself.

Maybe he should just ship them all to Achilles.

Make them do actual ‘field’ work as punishment.

Then again…

Achilles would probably hunt him down and cane him in a week or so of having to deal with their own brand of bullshit.

[lorebird]

In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.

[stemmmm]

its really funny how hard i fought not to get back into gf as my wife went down the billford rabbit hole when my track record for characters i get insane about now looks like this

[avocado62524]

[artofrolsch]

She's fine, she's just fine, you're fine, we're ALL FINE

Kind of a redraw of this frame from the book! Just wanted to play with some glitch effects yk

[shirofairy]

Malleus with a shy Yuu:

[arthursfuckinghat]

I know the gang cares about Arthur and they knew his sickness was serious and it's part of the narrative and whatnot, but really would it have killed them to just offer the occasional "is there anything you need Arthur?" or "anything we can do to help?" or even "how are you feeling today?" - I'm sure Arthur would rather be pestered slightly than have his rapid illness get straight up ignored yknow?

[im-not-buying-it-ether]

Bill finishes the Theraprisim and gets reborn as a fucked up kitten that ends up sopping wet from the rain and missing an eye (for the obvious reasons of making him look like himself and also, strays have it hard) on the Mystery Shacks porch one summer where Mabel scoops him up and declares him her new best friend, Waddles’ new baby brother, and Mr. Bumbernsazzle

One vet visit and bath later the Mystery Shack has a new cat with yellowish-orange fur and one eye that always scratches at Dipper and gives him cats scratch fevers when he’s not walking under Fords every step or loafing on the journals

[tswwwit]

How would bill feel if dipper reincarnated as an incubus?

Thrilled. Delighted. Tickled pink! Partly because hey! That's a great look for him! Inhuman and demonic and oh-so-cute. Another part because of all the demonic subtypes he could end up as, this one has to be the most ironic, a bit of him thrilled just because it's good to see him again -

And of course, a Big Ol' Chunk of delight for the other obvious reason.

[kaliemary]

do you miss your family? friends?

[lokh]

every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog

[greenerteacups]

Hi GT, I hope you are doing well! who is your favorite Weasley?

Thank you! Absolute treat of a question. Oh, man. It's Ron, right? It was always going to be Ron.

So here's the thing: the Weasleys are a really well-characterized family in that you can kind of see a lot of character emerge through limited sketches and contextual information. Bill is Number One Boy, the best at everything, oldest child who was always confident and at peace with his indisputable place in the family; so he's a chill, cool, incredibly competent guy who naturally takes-charge. Charlie is a patented never-grew-out-of-your-middle-school-dragons-phase Weird Kid, but like, mindfully and enthusiastically so, because his parents probably still had plenty of time to support and nurture his interests; plus he's also different to Bill and excels in different ways, so they aren't too competitive (as we see). Percy is the first one to suffer from the pressure of mounting expectations, and he's very quickly followed by the twins, who do the classic "if I can't be the best I'll be the worst" late-sibling trick of acting up for attention, so he gets lost in the shuffle. (The fight between Ron and Percy in Chapter 58 is, hence, in substantially about the relationship between the two most-ignored members of the Weasley family, and that's why Ron is so much angrier at him than the rest of them. Like I've said before, Ron always thinks he's got it the worst, but he takes pride in being able to kinda "tough it out," and nothing pisses him off like other people's self-pity.) Ginny is obviously the baby of the family, a girl with everyone wrapped around her finger, and I love her, but I feel like we didn't get enough grit in her portrait— she's just really successful in everything she does, in a way that can read as flat to some people, and certainly read as flat to me my first time through the books. In fact, Ginny reminds me a lot of Bill: first daughter/first son, described often as "cool" and clever and good at basically everything, charming and generally liked by all. Which is lovely. A delight to read, just like the twins are. But my taste in characters ranges way more fucked-up and mean.

Ron is the last boy, "sixth son of a woman who wanted a daughter" (fascinating line that complicates everything we know about Molly's relationship with her kids — and BTW, how the hell does Ron know that, and how old was he when he learned it? And this also comes into play with Molly's cry of "not my daughter" to Bellatrix which like, as a moment obviously fucking rules, but also — there's a reason she says daughter, not "child," right? Do you see what I'm digging at? Anyway). Ron meets Harry and recognizes himself in how Harry defaults to thinking people don't care about him, or won't help him if he asks, because — although they come from very different circumstances, Ron's home was completely loving, just not as nurturing as he always needed it to be — Ron usually goes in assuming people don't care about him, too. So his first instinct is to go: "Alright. Well, I'll care about you, then, weird stranger. Do you want to share my horrible sandwich, and also my life, perhaps?" Goddamn! Sixth of seven in a house with never enough to go around, and he's immediately like: "fuck it, room for one more." Because he could have been Percy — and you can see it in the way that Ron is mean, sometimes, he's not careful with his words and he struggles with empathy and he's got a vengeful streak that comes out when he's pissed — but he isn't selfish enough, he loves too much and too easily, and it takes shockingly little to earn his loyalty. You just have to pay a little attention to him.

[xxcyberghostxx]

i just think bill wouldn’t ever once actually consider being romantically entangled with anyone that worships/worshiped him at any point.

i think he categorizes everyone into two camps: stupid, and not-stupid (NOT the same thing as smart) and if you worship him (which in his mind he views as The Sensible Thing To Do) you get put in the stupid camp. and live there forever. sorry :/

[yarrowleef]

#17 Snailshade

no one really knows what this guys deal is bc he doesn't like or talk to anyone. Honestly the only reason he stays in RiverClan instead of fucking off to be a loner is for the security. He prefers vanishing early to patrol by himself, which he usually can do as even the deputy occasionally forgets he exists for days at a time.

[sirenofstyxx]

This isnt new or original at all but i gotta say some of my favorite characters are always those absolutely awful charismatic bastard villians who in fiction I enjoy but if I met in real live I would punt into the stars. Bonus points when they get their inevitable and extremely satisfying comeuppance and get their ass handed to them

[cjinkling]

Lines From Scott Pilgrim Takes Off except its with Ford and Stan.

- (Maybe dont read this if you haven't seen that little spoiler of Ford about the Bill Book, although this isnt really canon... maybe? So its a eh whatever moment you choose!)

-

Ford and Stan ANGST!!! (Basically its a just a random thought in my head thinking oh what if Stanley found out that Ford was keeping Bills Book hidden. And so I was like hell yeah! Ill write a short fic about that. And then I was like scrolling through Tiktok and saw Scott Pilgrim audio and I was like THIS WORKS!)

- Warning I didn't proof read this so.. grammatical errors, doesn't make sense? Well woops.

-

Stanford Pines - "I- I was too afraid to face you."

-

Stanford had looked away as he had said this. The rain was pouring down fast, on both him and his twin brother Stanley.

-

Stanley was furious his own twin brother, he had first gotten him kicked out of the house because Stanley had accidentally bumped into Ford's stupid science project, then he had spent 30 years trying to FIX his own mistakes.. even if that meant erasing his own memory to fix it. But, no.. Stanford had to lie to him again.

-

Stanley had found a random book of Ford's on the ground in Ford's bedroom, so Stanley went to go pick it up and put it away on Ford's book shelf, as he picked up the book he had saw the demon, Bill on the cover of the book. So, Stanley opened the book to see what was inside of it. Inside of the book spelled out one simple line. "Your brother is lying to you about everything" - Llib Rehpic

As Stanley read that line, Ford had walked in and stared at Stanley, Ford was stood in fear as his twin brother closed the book and looked over to see Ford. As Stanley was about to ask about the book, Ford had ran out of the shack into the woods at night, and with the rain pouring down hard. Stanley quickly got up from Ford's bed ran to his own and grabbed his jacket, his beanie, his gloves, and just in case a gun and some money for just in case. He ran down the stairs to get his boots before rushing out of the shack to go find his stupid brother -

Stanley Pines - "So, YOU LEFT WITHOUT A WORD?!"

- Stanley had found his brother infront of Bill's statue panting as the rain hit his body Ford had shook, since he ran out with only his red turtle neck sweater and his gray sweat pants... his brother didn't even manage to put on shoes. He was in what used to be white socks, however since of the rain they turned into a muddy colour. Stanley called out for his brother to come back to the shack but his brother didn't move he did turn around to face Stanley though. He told Stanley he couldn't come home.

Stanley didn't want to believe the book that had Bill as the cover page but.. Stanley had asked Ford about the book that was inside of his bedroom. Ford didn't answer; he had kept quiet which made Stanley pissed off, he went up to his brother with angry tears forming in his eyes and grabbed his sweater pulling him close with a forceful grip.

-

Stanley Pines - "YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE NOTHING!"

- Stanley yelled at his brother for a good five minutes before he let go off his sweater. Ford hadn't said anything he had just let Stanley yell at him about how he had lied to him about everything. About how he had sacrificed himself for him, and about how selfish Ford was for trying to hide the book away from his family.

Stanford allowed him to say all these things because if he told Stanley the truth, he wouldn't believe him. Why would HE believe that he Wanted to keep him and his niece and nephew safe. That HE couldn't get rid of the book, that he had TRIED 10 times already.

Once Stanley had let go Ford had looked at his brother which he saw Stanley face covered with rain and a mix of his own tears rolling down his face. Ford had saw his brother as he was shaking and panting trying to get his breath back.

Stanley had recovered, he had looked his brother straight in the eyes with still hatred in his eyes, but it was slowly fading away.

-

Stanley Pines - "YOU WERE AFRAID? GOOD FOR YOU."

-

Stanley watched as his brother flinched at Stanley's sound of voice. Stanley let out a small sad chuckle as he grabbed his brother's shoulder patting it before letting go, as he turned around to walk back to the shack leaving his brother alone for the time being. Stanley couldn't face him for the time being for awhile. He would rather have a serious discussion with his stupid brother at the shack where it was warm and safe of any danger. But, before he had started to walk any further away from his brother. Stanley had stopped any said.

Stanley Pines - "All I wanted... was for you to see me"

Stanley had wanted his own brother to trust him with something for once

He should of known better.