#ezio and altaïr being competitive little shits

[teecupangel]

Have you seen the show Ultimate Beastmaster? Imagine if the assassins tried that thinking no one is looking and everyone is just staring at them shocked because they did the whole course flawlessly

“Okay, anyone wants to tell me how this catastrophe happened?” Bill asked thru gritted teeth as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Well, a few millennias ago, a race of powerful-”

“I am not talking about the Solar Flare and you know it!” Bill glared at his only son who had been a quiet obedient kid…

Until he became friends with the three banes of Bill’s existence…

The other three narrowed their eyes at him which Bill ignored.

They had always been a bit too protective of his son.

But that only served to spoil Desmond and Bill wished he could find a way to pull him away from their ‘influence’ but they were the best field agents right now and Desmond needed to learn from the best.

But that did not mean…

Bill turned his laptop around where a video titled “Awesome Beastmaster Clears By The White Hood Gang!” was paused. It already had 21 million views and it had only been a goddamn day since it was uploaded. That kind of statistic was simply too much and Bill was quite sure Abstergo most probably rewatched this… a lot.

“So… anyone wants to explain this to me?”

All four men remained quiet and adopted blank expressions on their faces.

“Did none of you even consider that those cameras would have been recording even IF the shooting was scheduled tomorrow?!”

They all looked at one another before Ezio, their usual spokesperson, explained, “We were running away from Templars after acquiring the POE they had been delivering nearby. We noticed the obstacle course and decided it would be much faster to proceed thru it than to go around it, perhaps even lose some of our pursuers in the course itself and give us more time to get away.”

Ezio was surprisingly serious as he concluded, “It was a calculated risk we needed to take to accomplish the mission.”

Bill stared at him with a ‘don’t bullshit me, kid’ expression as he pushed the spacebar.

The laptop’s tiny speakers soon let out Ezio’s holler of “You gotta be faster than that, fratello mio! My younger brother is faster than you!”

Ezio didn’t twitch even as Bill said, “And was trash-talking Altaïr also necessary in completing the mission?”

The video kept playing and they heard a commentator that had been added to the video announce, “Oh! White Hood No 1 just grabbed 2 from the back and pulled him down! He skids- AND he’s able to hold on to the chains!”

Bill turned his not-angry-only-disappointed-and-having-a-headache-because-of-your-stupidity expression at Altaïr, “And sabotaging Ezio? Was that also necessary?”

“It was planned,” Altaïr replied vaguely and all four kept their blank expressions on.

Bill glared at the supposed prodigy of their Brotherhood and wondered if Rashid would mind if he hit his grandson on the head with a rolled-up newspaper.

Repeatedly.

“And 3 and 4 just jumped over 2! 4 is even laughing and-”

“A little help?!”

“You can do it! We believe in you!”

“-It seems 3 and 4 will not be helping 2 up!”

Bill turned to glare at his son and Ratonhnhaké:ton who he had thought would be above all this.

It seemed he had been wrong.

Bill finally clicked the spacebar once more to pause the video and rubbed the bridge of his nose again as he announced, “All of you are off the field until further notice. You will all be in support duty while Erudito cleans up your mess. Report to Shaun for further instructions.”

“Yes, sir.” They all answered curtly.

“Dismissed.”

He waited until they were all out of his office. Then waited a couple of minutes more to be sure they wouldn’t see him in their Eagle Vision before groaning as he slumped into his seat. He took the secret bottle of scotch he had in the bottom drawer of his office desk and didn’t bother to take the glass next to it, simply twisting the cap off and taking a large swing from the bottle itself.

Maybe he should just ship them all to Achilles.

Make them do actual ‘field’ work as punishment.

Then again…

Achilles would probably hunt him down and cane him in a week or so of having to deal with their own brand of bullshit.