#and be the GOOD GUY in the scenario where you KILLED SOMEONE
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timeisacephalopod · 2 years ago
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Those like... Weird gun people I see mostly from the US who are utterly obsessed with owning a gun for "self defense" always going on and on about how they'll shoot anyone who basically even looks at them funny should just admit they don't care about self defense, what these people really want is to be able to shoot and kill someone and take pride in it while being revered as a hero for "defending" themselves or their family because yeah they obviously really, really want to kill people but since they know Murder is Bad they've invented a whole persona to justify their bizarre and disturbing murder fantasies that leaves them respected and heroic for killing someone.
Idk man those people freak me the hell out and are the last kind of person who should own guns in my opinion. Anyone that gung ho to kill people and see themselves as the "good guy" about it should not have access to weapons.
#winters ramblings#and they always cite killing someone over dumb shit like bding in their YARD. sure IS a good reason to KILL SOMEBODY#you think “”“”“”trespassing“”“”“ is a reason for MURDER??!? like im sorry but one of these crimes shouldnt even BE a crime and the other#is FUCKING MURDER WHY IN THE WORLD DO WE ACCEP THIS AS RATIONAL IT'S NOT ITS FUCKING DISTURBING#and its ALWAYS gun nuts that say this shit. like sorry but you REALLY want to kill people and be considered a hero about it#thats not normal OR healthy you dont need a gun you need to do SOMETHING about your disturbing fantasies#of killing people and being held up as a beacon of HEROISM AND MORALITY. the fact that someone would INVENT#several scenarios in which they KILL SOMEONE and THEY end uo the morally superior one is so fucked#those people SHOULD NOT HAVE GUNS i cannot believe theres a whole country who thinks this is a debate#because HALF OF THEM ARE FANTASIZING ABOUT MURDERING PEOPLE AND BEING CALLED A MORALLY GREAT HERO ABOUT IT#like bruh your WHOLE attitude alone is a reason for gun control it is NOT normal to want to kill people this bad#and be the GOOD GUY in the scenario where you KILLED SOMEONE#this isnt to say self defense is bad either its just that wanting to kill people SO BAD you construct elaborate scenarios#where youre allegedly firced to kill someone just so YOU can be a hero is real fucked and i dont think the average person#who engages in self defense has this attitude. they just end up in a shit situation they arent FANTASIZING about being robbed#JUST so they can shoot and kill someone and praise themselves for it thats a whole different beast
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mostly-imagines · 5 months ago
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Well, I guess that I'm going to be that person so, Jay and threesomes — delicious idea actually;
But I don't think that he would dive into the idea of sharing you with other people, especially if you two are a thing (or not, it depends on how he feels about you), like, I've seen in another ask that I unfortunately can't remember the name but it said that if you dated Roy Harper (aka Arsenal) he would share you with Jay, but if it was the opposite, our pretty vigilante wouldn't allow it.
It's clear that it's not that he doesn't trust you, more like... Uhhh? Don't trust others or the insecurity of himself? You get the idea.
Would like to elaborate more, luv?
implied NSFW content below
okay i think there’s 2 ways this could go
1 ) you know how there's a bunch of fics of jason & roy conspiring to have a threesome w reader? every single time i read one (as hot as i do find it) i think about the alternate way that conversation could go
so like you're jason's gf & roy thinks you're hot and decides to get bold bc surely jason will agree?? what’s a girl between friends, right?
he's hung out w you guys/at your apartment lots of times so he's seen you two being touchy with each other plenty.
roy shows up one night to hang and you're wearing one of jay's shirts and as far as roy can tell, no pants because his shirt is so goddamn big on you, there's no point.
"stop looking at her like that," jason's gruff voice cuts through roy's thoughts as they sit on the couch, watching you move about the kitchen.
roy looks over at jason, who doesn't return the eye contact. "i'm not looking at her like anything." he returns his gaze to you, watching your hips. “she’s pretty.”
"i know.” jason says shortly.
jason, knowing roy pretty fucking well at this point, can tell exactly where he’s going with this. he’s been extra flirty with you lately, like he’s trying to butter you up. even going as far as putting a hand on your back or against one of your thighs.
but he’s being more lenient with roy than he would be with someone else thinking about you like that. jason can live with the flirting, that’s just how roy is. the touching gets to him a little though. and the staring might kill him. might kill either one of them, actually.
roy leans back on the couch, looking back to jason, "do you remember that girl in newhaven that wanted to go home with us?"
jason turns his head to look at him, gaze narrowing in dangerously on becoming a glare.
roy shrugs, "i'm just saying. at least you like this girl. makes things easier, doesn't it? plus she's sweet, isn't she?"
jason makes a low hum of a noise that's almost a grunt. "careful."
roy sits up again, fully turning to face him, "jay, come on, i'm just thinking—"
“i know what you're thinking. drop it.”
it takes a special kind of stupid person to argue with jason when he gets serious and resolute like this and roy is not that person so he shuts up and cools it on the flirting. the sudden change in his behavior is harsh enough that you have to ask jason about it later, who, depending on how much he's still simmering about it later, may or may not tell you about what happened there.
or 2 ) roy has the ability to read a fucking room and decides its better for him to keep this idea to himself
in this scenario i see it more as something that roy cannot stop thinking about and he’s doing absolutely everything in his power to prevent himself from getting his neck snapped. he and jason are really good friends but roy’s seen first hand how jason does not play about you so he’s not going to be running any risks.
so lately he won’t look at you unless you speak to him, and then it’s only fleeting, and he’s a lot more careful about when he enters a room he knows you’re both in. he gets real stiff whenever you enter a room and has a nervousness about him that’s uncharacteristic.
but jason’s not stupid and neither are you, so you’ve both noticed a shift in the air to say the least. you’ve been unable to attribute a cause to the newfound shift in energy, though your boyfriend hasn’t had the same trouble identifying the issue.
so jason’s a little annoyed, yeah. but he can’t be that pissed because he gets it. he knows you’re an absolute killer, he assumes every guy that sees you wants you. and that’s fine, whatever. the problem starts up when it’s his best friend who pretty regularly sees you in less-than-modest clothing. jason can’t help that he gets a little possessive then.
jason doesn't necessarily know that the thing taking up roy's mind is a threesome and not just the two of you, but it honestly wouldn't make a difference anyways. it doesn't really have anything to do with whether or not he thinks roy has romantic or just sexual feelings for you, though he's pretty certain they are just sexual.
there's something in the back of his head that tells him that no one has any business seeing you the way he gets to. sex is something so personal for him, for both of you, and he honestly can't even consider the idea of anyone being involved in that other than you and him.
you’ve left the room for a minute one night and there’s an unusual tension that lingers in the air between them. both jason and roy have clocked the shift in demeanor on the others part by now and the resulting silence is devastating. for roy, that is. jason just sits with it.
“you’re not going to do anything,” jason speaks up, not taking his eyes off the drink in his hand. “right?”
the question takes roy off guard and immediately has his heart jumping in his chest. it’s instinct to lie and say ‘no, i don’t want to fuck your girlfriend, what are you talking about?’ but he decides better against it.
he shakes his head, gaze on the rug, “no, no. of course not.”
“good,” jason nods solemnly before adding, “i’d break your nose.”
“i know," roy says simply.
you'd spent longer in the other room than you needed to, hoping something would be said and resolved about whatever was going on with them. clearly at least the former had gone down because when you come back in, there's a slightly different air to the room than the one you had left. more nervous on roy's part, more sure on jason's.
you give jason a questioning look when you sit back down and he just shakes his head cooly and wraps an arm around your shoulder. you trust him well enough to believe that whatever was said was what needed to be said and it's taken care of now.
and it was—the rest of the night was easier as it went on and after a couple of somewhat strange silent exchanges between the two men, roy even started looking at you again. and maybe jason gave you a few kisses with a bit more intensity and held you a little closer than he might have otherwise, but that’s nobody else’s business but his.
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sunderwight · 11 months ago
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With moshang I think I'm equally fond of the possibilities/concepts where either Shang Qinghua is ludicrously attractive to demons in a broad sense (but doesn't realize it), or, where Shang Qinghua is just some weird little gremlin and everyone else cannot wrap their head around why THE Mobei Jun is so smug about seducing this man.
Or a combination, where no demon in their right mind would ordinarily look at Shang Qinghua and perceive a sex icon, but because such a high-ranking demon has clearly done so, they go "well there must be SOMETHING going on there" and then look closer and before they know it they're on the slippery slope to being horny about a guy who could help file their taxes or arrange to have their clan base's faulty plumbing fixed.
Basically it's all good. Demons en mass going "yeah yeah big scary dudes who punch good are a dime a fucking dozen around here, but do you know how hot someone who can skillfully use an abacus is?" vs demons going "the ice king is a respectable ruler but he has garbage taste in men, we all just smile and politely nod while he insists the weird rat guy he fixated on as a teenager is a catch" vs demons going "I really don't see the appeal -- wait he did what? he killed how many guys at once with 1 trick? he betrayed WHOMST? and lived?! and he knows how to get my door to stop making horrible squeaky noises?! okay yeah figures the king would marry him" but every option is a winner.
I'm also a big fan of both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua being not very attractive to demons in general, but it also being really common for demons to get super weird about first crushes and fixate hard on them, so in that sense they are completely normal choices for a couple of high-level demons to marry. Like the demon populace can appreciate the emperor actually landing his hot teacher and the king successfully marrying his teenage sweetheart. It's an idealized fantasy in terms of the scenarios, even if the actual guys are just weird humans. Nearly every average demon has lifelong daydreams about successfully seducing their first crush, so regardless of who those crushes turned out to be it's still a power move for LBH and MBJ to actually succeed.
Bonus if the fact that both SQQ and SQH are peak lords from the same sect leads to a bunch of demon kids developing crushes on the other remaining, unattached peak lords, and chaos ensuing. Especially for Liu Qingge. I think it would be funny for him to gain a flock of teenage demons with crushes, whom he keeps trying to fight off, only to discover that beating them up does NOT discourage them at all (actually makes the crushes worse). Or Yue Qingyuan getting mobbed like he's a pop star any time he makes a diplomatic visit to the demon realms. Sha Hualing deciding that she's just waiting for Liu Mingyan to become a peak lord before they make things official, since That's Obviously How It's Done, or Qi Qingqi doing a head count one day and realizing she suddenly has a bunch of unfamiliar "guest" disciples who sigh at her a lot and have funny-colored eyes...
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howtofightwrite · 4 days ago
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What kind of wounds would a shotgun give to someone thats not wearing any bullet proof vest but just thick, winter jackets? Like those heavy jackets with fleece on the inside that old guys wear alot. ( I think its called a work jacket?)
I've always thought a shot gun would give some sort of blast damage and make quite a mess, but in The Day of The Jackal ep 6 it didn't seem that bad when he killed that farmer guy in Hungary lol.
So here's a fun thought to play with. A leather jacket is made from treated animal hide. In most cases, they're actually softened a bit to be more comfortable.
Shotguns are frequently used to hunt large game. Large game where their primary form of armor is their skin. Their skin which does almost nothing to stop a shotgun blast.
So, unless it's loaded with something like rocksalt, a leather jacket is not stopping a shotgun.
In answer to your original question, “what kind of wounds?” Catastrophic ones. It would be really messy.
Also, remember shotguns are still usable up to ~100 meters, at which they'll have a roughly 2m spray pattern. Getting hit by a shotgun, even at 50 meters, is going to be really bad. It's a bit like hitting someone simultaneously with a hail of small caliber rounds. Individually one piece of shot isn't likely to be lethal, but get hit with five or six of them, and that's a real problem. It's going to create a bunch of wound channels, and each wound has a chance to hit something vital, or ricochet and try again. And even at best, you're going to be losing blood from each of them simultaneously.
As for actual armor, most Level III or higher armor should stop a shotgun blast. However, shotguns are pretty good at damaging body armor. So someone wearing a ballistic vest who takes a shotgun hit, probably isn't going to be safe from the next pistol round that hits their vest anywhere near where the shot landed.
Similarly, with plate carriers, it should be fine, but there's a real risk that some of the shot chipped the plate. That's not going to cause the next shotgun blast to punch through, but it does mean that carrier now can't be trusted to stop rifle rounds.
Now, none of that are things you usually obsess over. For the most part, ballistic armor is single use anyway. If you're wearing a Kevlar vest and get shot, it's time to replace that vest. So, having your vest soak a shotgun hit isn't some kind of special tactic on your enemy's part, and is really just your vest doing its job.
Against unarmored targets, shotguns can be downright horrific.
So, using a winter parka to stop a shotgun blast is probably the result of someone who heard the, “shotguns are horrible at armor penetration,” line and took it a little bit too seriously.
There are some AP shells out there. Including slugs that market themselves as armor penetrating. I've never looked too deeply in to these. I know of their existence, but not how effective they actually are.
There's also probably some close quarters scenarios where a slug might punch right through body armor, even though, generally speaking, slugs lose energy extremely quickly, and at mid to long range, they're not going to penetrate. Ultimately, it is an 18mm bullet without a lot of powder behind it, so the drop off makes sense, but it's still a lot of mass to deal with when it's leaving the barrel. Even if your armor holds up, taking that hit is probably not going to be fun.
-Starke
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 2 months ago
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Hello! Someone genuinely trying to understand and perhaps unlearn some reactionary tendencies. With the response to that anon about "not asking if you're a pro or anti", the response about "imagine if they put this much effort into protecting real kids" definitely got me thinking. So... Is an adult shipping children and finding that hot NEVER a red flag? Or is it case by case on seeing how that person handles the distinction between fiction and reality in other things? And bringing the issue of real kids into it, if a real kid who has been abused sees someone shipping kids and finds that a red flag in that person, that... No, no I juicy answered my own question on that one. Block them and cultivate your own experience.
hi there anon, and congrats on trying to unlearn some things! and great job catching yourself at the end there, that's exactly correct.
I will start by saying this right out of the gate: fundamentally, I do not really give a shit about what made up scenarios about fictional characters people are jorking it to in private. I am, first and foremost, interested in how they are interacting with actual, real people.
"but Makenzie are you saying people who look at sexually explicit images of real human kids should be allowed near children?" no I'm not. please note that I was specifically talking about people engaging with fictional characters who are, you know, not real and do not have feelings and therefore cannot actually be hurt, traumatized, abused, etc, in any way that actually matters. I want to be so clear about this: you can genuinely think whatever vile things you want about fictional characters. you can enjoy any problematic shit you want with little guys who don't actually exist.
like, here's an example I use a lot: I'm kind of a huge Batman fan. don't know if you could tell that or not, I'm pretty subtle about it. if you spend any time in the Batman mythos, you know that this is a story where you just kind of have to take for granted that our hero is a billionaire using his vast wealth to dispatch vigilante justice with military grade weaponry and a small army of child soldiers and cop friends to help him put people in prison. these are moral quandaries that are discussed and acknowledged within the story, but fundamentally the universe is always going to involve billionaire vigilantism and child soldiers and the so-called carceral justice system. that's just the price of admission if you're gonna read Batman.
and like. I spend a lot of time in that world. I love Batman, I love his child soldiers. he's my little blorbo or whatever. but like, at no point have I said "yeah, fuck it, preteens should be learning martial arts to fight domestic terrorists, actually. I think Elon Musk SHOULD be allowed to put on a fursuit and beat up criminals. cops need more funding." no amount of Batman comics can make me believe or act on any of those things because, you know, I'm a person with a brain and I know the difference between "thing that makes a good story" and "thing that should actually happen for real."
and the thing is that genuinely, honestly, if someone thought that it was a red flag that I like Batman, and that enjoying Batman comics was somehow a red flag indicating that I'm fine with violence being done against real, actual children? I would think that person was a nut, if I can be super real. like, I'm thinking about somebody trying to make the case that I shouldn't be allowed to hang out with my nephew because I enjoy the fictional character of Robin so clearly I'm going to kill my nephew's parents in front of him to try to get him into vigilante justice. or if someone attempted to bar me from teaching my 4th-6th grade sex ed classes on the grounds that I was obviously going to teach them to do karate to clowns instead of how their reproductive systems worked.
(although, lets be real, there are a lot of politicians who would MUCH rather let little kids cage fight each other than learn anything about safer sex.)
this doesn't just apply to morally bad things, either, btw. I also read a lot of romance novels, especially hetero romances. and the thing is, not one of those books has made me want to fall in love with a ruggedly handsome but condescending straight man. hell, none of them have made me want to fall in love with anybody, period. that's not really something I'm interested in for myself, it's just a fun and frequently funny dynamic to explore. I'm hardly the first queer person to point out that the allegations that queer media "turns kids gay/trans" is obviously bullshit since the vertible mountain of cishet media evidently failed to turn any of us straight/cis, you know?
my point being: no, I genuinely don't think it's often, if ever, reasonable to judge someone's actual, real life morals by how they interact with fiction.
I'm going to say something so vulnerable right now, because we're in a safe space here: since you asked me this very reasonable question, you evidently value my judgment and perspective at least a little bit. and I once read and thoroughly enjoyed a fic in which Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, gets fucked by a sapient evil horse. and I don't think that makes me a morally reprehensible person, or a person who advocates for real human beings having real sex with real horses. I think it just makes me kind of a weirdo with a bullshit tolerance.
if you want to hear a MUCH more thorough take on this, complete with addressing the issue of shipping fictional children, I cannot recommend Princess Weekes' video essay enough:
youtube
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luna0713hunter · 1 year ago
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hello! may I request for a opla zoro x reader with the action/scenario being the kissing passionately against a wall? maybe zoro was feeling really protective over reader cause someone was hitting on her and after he beats their ass/threatens them he kisses reader? Preferably female reader please! Thank you!!
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Author's note : hello dear!!such a cute request! I'll be happy to write it!!! Hope you enjoy it (◕દ◕)
"passionate kissing,pressured up against a wall"
Based on this prompt
Zoro Roronoa x fem!reader
Warnings : reader getting hit on,idiot stranger not knowing who's he's messing with, protective Zoro
*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘
"Alright then, I'll go with Sanji to help him with the ingredients he wants!"
"i appreciate it but i very much rathered you didnt..."
"I'm going to look for new maps."
"and I'll stay to guard the ship, y'know,in case of an attack."
You wave everyone goodbye as you watch their retreating figures with a promise of meeting in three hours by The Going Merry.
You look beside you to the stoic man who has his arms crosses and smile.
"so,what should we do?"
Zoro looks around and suddenly he takes your hand and starts walking.
"where are we going?"
"to the bar."
You snort and walk through the doors of a small bar. When you take a sit behind the counter,you stare as Zoro orders two drinks for both of you.
"its not even evening and you're already drinking?"
"the lunch didnt set well with me."
"cause Sanji didnt let you drink."
Zoro only huffs and rolls his eyes before taking a sip of his drink,and upon a taste he downs the whole glass and motions for the bartender to refill it.
"you should really start drinking less." You tell him as you nurse your own glass and taking tiny sips.
Zoro ignores you in favor of drinking his alcohol.
You grin;used to his antics and not taking offense. Zoro is just so easy to tease,that you find yourself always annoying the hell out of him.
You start drinking and looking around the bar;its mainly empty except a small group of marines sitting in the far corner. They're young,and when you look at them,you see one of them is already starting back at you.
In fear of getting recognized and having to fight or run,you immediately turn back and stare down at your drink. And apparently,the guy staring at you takes that as an act of shyness and invitation.
"hey there," and when a smooth voice greets you from your other side,you raise your head and smile nervously at the young Marine man.
Act cool. Please dont notice we're pirates. Smile,and greet him politely.
"hello," you say as you fidget in your sit, "how,uh,how may i help you?"
"for starters,you can help by letting me buy you a drink?"
You raise your drink to show him your half empty glass, "I'm good actually,thanks."
The man grins and rests his hand on the counter, "playing hard to get,huh." Then his hand moves on top of yours;and the action has you swallowing around your dry throat, "then how about dinner? I'll take you to a nice restaurant."
"no really, I'm fine, actually I'm with my-"
"i insist -"
"hey,hotshot," the sound of Zoro's voice has you shivering, "she said she's not interested. So back the fuck off."
The Marine raises to his full height,and his stare hardens, "and who the hell are you?"
Zoro smiles and downs his drink. Before you can even protest,he moves so close to the other guy,and places a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm her boyfriend."
The guy doesnt have time to react before suddenly,in a high speed that gives you whiplash ,slams the head of the marine to the counter.
The sickening sound of bone cracking twists your stomach,but the look on Zoro's face is much more terrifying.
The bar suddenly grows quiet,and when you rush to Zoro's side to grab his hand, suddenly the Marines are running after you two.
Zoro is not a man to runaway from any fights,so he stops to fight ten times harder than the marines. He manages to knock out three more (maybe even killed them?!you didnt stop to check.) Before you grab his hand and particularly yank him toward the exit.
You two run as fast as you can,before ducking in some alley. You peek from the corner of the wall and when see no more Marines in sight,you let out a sigh of relief and turn around toward the very cool Zoro and frown at him.
"was that really necessary? You know we cant get recognized!!"
"do you think i really care about that?" He walks closer, forcing your back to hit the wall behind you "he was hitting on you. He's lucky I didn't kill him."
You only stare at the man in front of you, noting how tense his whole body seems.
You stomach flutters with so much love and adoration for him that has you weak in knees.
So before Zoro can talk more,you pull him down by his collar and press your lips to his.
The kiss becomes heated fairly quick;as Zoro presses you up against the wall even more and this hands wonder around your hips and your own carding through his hair. You dont know how much time has past,not until you have to pull away from lack of oxygen.
He presses his forehead against yours as you both try to regain your normal breathing.
"so," you say as you can breath normally once again, "are you still jealous?"
And from the scowl he wears, you're sure he still is.
So you laugh and pull him down again.
A little reassuring never hurts after all.
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sanjifucker42069 · 1 year ago
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OPLA!Sanji x Reader - Blowin'
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Word Count: 4.6k
I cut down some of the less, y’know, important stuff (the plot lol)
Warnings: oral sex (m!receiving), fem!reader, awkward first times, awkward af, the reader is a dipshit. I’m ngl this isn’t one of those cute first time fics where virgin!reader is suddenly a sex goddess, you are legitimately an idiot. As usual, written with a plus size!reader in mind.
Sanji finds out you’re a virgin. You suck his dick. Congrats!
Sanji was going to fucking lose it. Out of all the possible scenarios Sanji never once considered Nami would take you out to a bar to pick up guys. He brooded as he nursed his drink, Zoro rolling his eyes at the display. Sanji just growled. Usopp looked between them.
"How about another round? 'Nother milk Lu? Hey Sanji, why don't you come with me? I saw some hot chicks up at the bar."
Sanji just shook his head brooding. He looked to where you stood with Nami, laughing at some guy's jokes. He felt stupid at how jealous he felt.
"Hey, Sanj, man. Nami isn't gonna reciprocate y'know?" Usopp offered lightheartedly. Zoro scoffed from next to him. 
"It's not about Nami for once."
---
When Sanji's eyes found you again he saw you alone with the same guy, nursing a drink. Now that Nami was gone he could see the atmosphere had changed, you didn't seem happy like before. He watched as the guy said something and you shrugged halfheartedly. The guy then proceeded to wrap his arm around you. Sanji had known you long enough to see how uncomfortable you looked. Anger flared in his chest. The final straw was seeing the guy trying to tug you out of the booth to leave. You looked so defeated, it hurt. He began stalking his way to your booth.
"C'mon sweetcheeks, let's leave this dump."
"I'm good thanks, I should get back to my friends."
"I already told you bitch, we're going. I didn't spend all this time fucking around to go home empty handed. You're lucky I even stayed once your hot friend left. I'm doing you a favour, so hurry the fuck up."
"No, I really don't want to." You began, the man snarled, grabbing your wrist.
"It wasn't a question. You owe me. I don't go for ugly, but a hole's a hole, and from the back you're probably passable."
You had tears in your eyes from embarrassment. This whole trip was a bad idea. You wish Nami would come back. As the man tugged on your wrist harder you heard that gorgeous voice ring out. You tried to hide your face so Sanji wouldn't see the tears in your eyes. That last thing you wanted was for the crew to think you're weak.
"That's no way to win hearts Sunshine. So uncouth, and frankly, disgusting behaviour."
"Who the fuck are you? How about you mind your own business?"
"And watch such a beautiful lady be treated that way?"
"Beautiful lady my ass. The only thing you can know for sure about girls like this is that their pretty pussy is untouched." The man barked out a laugh causing you to wince. He snaked his other arm to cup your breast over your dress. You saw something flash in Sanji's eyes. "And I know I'm gonna really enjoy these."  
You squirmed, before biting the man. He howled in pain, releasing his hold on you. You quickly made your escape, rushing to cling to Usopp and Luffy, crying. You felt pathetic. Embarrassed that all eyes were on you.
Sanji saw red. You blinked back tears as you called out to him. Sanji was protective of all of you, but he seemed especially so of you. You knew it was because he saw you as some kind of little sister. "It's okay Sanji. Really, let's just go home. Please."
"No." He fixed the drunk man with a freezing gaze. "You dare touch someone so out of your league? I asked you nicely to piss off, but now I'm going to fucking kill you."
Before you could react Sanji had kicked the man in the chest. You watched as he began ruthlessly kicking and stomping the man, muttering profanities and sentences you couldn't understand. With a final stomp he huffed. Zoro finally pried Sanji away. You saw Nami returning, fuming. If you weren't so traumatised by the night you would have laughed at how Zoro pried Nami away too, holding the two brawlers by the scruff as they fought against it, looking like wet cats.
You don't remember how you got home. You remember Usopp covering you in his coat and dragging you out of the bar. You remember apologising to Usopp, crying that you needed to go back. The last thing you remember was Luffy running to join you, scooping you up and starting the walk back to the Going Merry, you, falling asleep in his rubbery arms.
---
"Ah my dear, you're finally awake. I made you something to eat."
You smiled tightly at him, thanking him. The way you played with your food tugged at his heartstrings. You looked so mournful. He pulled up a chair, sitting backwards on it, gripping the backrest. 
"C'mon lovely, don't make me have to feed you myself." He winked. Your lips twitched upwards performatively. Sanji frowned. "Look (name) about last night-"
"I'm sorry."
Confusion. "What?"
You cringed inward. "I'm....I'm sorry I ruined everyone's night."
"You didn't ruin anyone's night, that good for nothing prick did. Don't understand why you'd even go for a guy like that to be honest." He added bitterly. You frowned.
"I wouldn't normally. Everything moved so fast. He seemed nice...It was too late before I realised it's because he wanted Nami." Silence. "Once Nami left, I, well, I didn't want to cause a scene."
"So, what? You were just going to let him take advantage of you?"
You jolted, shocked. "No! No, I- there was no way he was going to-” 
“(Name), love, I know you can be a bit naive but-”
Your voice was small. “He said so himself! He..." you trailed off. "He didn't 'go for ugly girls'. And besides…he was right."
Sanji frowned, angry at the world. How could anyone make you believe that you weren't beautiful? That you didn't deserve some guy trying to take advantage of you? He took a deep breath, steadying his resolve
“There's no such thing as an ugly girl (name), and if there was, I can assure you you're not one of them.”
“Not that.” Sanji took in how you winced, trying to make yourself seem smaller.
What?
Sanji felt the wind knocked out of him.
You're a virgin?" He asked, clearly shocked. You bristled with embarrassment.
"Well...yeah, but I understand how it works! It's not such a big deal, I mean...I've just, I've never had the chance."
"Have you ever...y'know, at all? Not even a handy?" You shook your head. He flushed, you were completely pure.
He felt slightly sick at how his perverted thoughts twisted that. He could be your first, ruin you for all other partners. He could be the one to take your innocence. His cock twitched at the thought. Shame flooded him. You were his friend, his, admittedly, very cute friend. He shouldn't be thinking about you this way. His mind was racing with all the obscene thoughts he'd ever had, the deviant things he dreamed of. He was disgusting. You were too innocent, he'd felt guilty before, but now he felt like he was defiling you just by thinking about you.
You took his silence as pity and pointedly looked away from him, taking a deep breath.
"It's not like I don't want to. I do. But, ugh, it's so silly...no one has ever shown any interest. I'm not exactly a goddess like Nami."
"Darling, I don't believe no one has ever shown interest." He offered a smile. Gods if you only knew how badly he ached for you. How hard you made him. Now wasn't the time for him to blow your friendship over him thinking with his dick. You were being vulnerable.
"I don't need your pity Sanji. It's okay. You don't have to give me the 'everyone's beautiful in their own way' speech. There's more to me than my lack of experience! I'm a good fighter! I have talents, I don't need to be pretty. Just, sometimes, it'd be nice.". 
This wouldn't do. He had to try to fix this. He took your small hands in his, trying not to lose his breath at how warm they felt. Swinging them lightly, he stared into your eyes.
“You are a beautiful girl, you deserve way better than some kind of bastard like that. Men are pigs (name), you shouldn't trust any of them."
"I trust you."
Sanji froze. You peaked up at him shyly. He looked conflicted, and that caused you to smile sadly, misinterpreting the look. You withdrew your hands, fiddling with them in your lap. "I didn't mean that you should take one for the team Ji, I just meant that, well, I trust you. I don't think you're a pig."
"You shouldn't trust me." He lowered his voice. You stared at him, clearly taken aback. "I'm just as bad."
"No, you-"
"No. I'm an absolute pig darling. You aren't that dense surely."
You frowned. "Sure you flirt a lot with other girls, but that's just you! It's charming, non-threatening. I don't see you acting like-"
"I flirt with you too!" He tried, clearly exasperated. You smiled.
"Exactly! You make cute comments to me, and call me cute things like darling, but you're just naturally flirty."
Sanji groaned. Your smile slowly faltered. Sanji screwed his eyes shut. "I'm not 'just naturally flirty'...I mean, I am, I suppose, but I'm actually trying to flirt with you. I thought you were just being polite, but are you really that dense?"
"I....you are?"
"Are you kidding me?!"
"But, I'm..." You gestured to yourself. "You're more friendly than flirty to me?" 
"You're too innocent, it's not like I could just waltz right up and tell you that I think you're hot, can I?" He bristled. 
You felt electricity surge down your spine. Hot? Sanji thought you were hot? Sanji? 
Sanji took your silence as disgust. "See! That's exactly why I couldn't tell you."
"You think I'm hot?" He nodded. Your grin spread, hurting your blushing cheeks. Your eyes sparkling. "You think I'M hot?!"
"Yes, okay!" He sounded almost angry.
"Sanji, you're gorgeous! I'm too awkward. Too fat. Too plain. I'm not a model or some kind of beauty. And you're telling me someone as handsome as you, thinks I'm attractive!? And I-"
You stopped, really thinking about what he said. "Innocent? I....well I suppose. I'm not that innocent though."
Sanji's nostrils flared. "Not that innocent? Please love! You prance around in those low-cut tops and shorts in front of everyone, thinking that they ain't gonna go ballistic? You're too trusting of men, thinking that we aren't all beasts inside."
You laughed, still riding the high of his praise. Sanji snarled, banging his fist on the kitchen table. "No! It's true. You think someone doesn't see the way your tits look and salivate? You don't think you would make anyone insane? You don't think I got so fucking hard when you told me you're a virgin?"
He froze, blood turning to ice, clearly regretting blurting out that last bit. You stared at him, eyes round with wonder. He avoided your gaze, cringing at what you said next.
"I...I make you hard?".
"I'm sorry (name), that was very ungentlemanly of me. I didn't mean to say that last part." 
"But you did." He felt warm hands prying his open and playing with his fingers. He flitted his eyes up to see your face red, staring at him with your eyes practically sparkling with mirth. "God, I've wanted you to fuck me for ages, and now you're telling me you've actually wanted to this whole time?"
Sanji stiffened, cock twitching. He ached painfully. He felt parched, throat burning. This had to be a joke. "You...what?"
"Yeah. Fuck. I, mean, the clothing was purposeful at first, I wanted you to notice me. I had no idea it was working though, haha!"
"WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I thought you knew? You never noticed I only wore those kinds of clothes when you were around? You never noticed how I tried to cling to you in the kitchen? I just assumed you knew and thought I was gross, so I pulled back." You laughed. "Did you seriously think that because I'm a virgin I can't think sexually?"
"But you've never-"
"You've never said anything raunchy to me like you do to other girls. I thought you saw me as a little sister. It'd be weird if someone you saw like family told you they want to suck your dick."
"Fuck." He hissed. 
"Oh this is too good! Have I been torturing you?" You laughed, running a hand up his arm. "You must be so frustrated."
"You have no idea." 
"I could help you." 
Sanji groaned. "You can't say things like that."
"Oh." You pulled back, back to being timid. Even if it was at his expense, Sanji felt the loss of your confident persona. Fuck he really was a masochist, wasn't he? "I, um, I'd need you to guide me. But if you did want help, I'd like to be the one."
"God, you have no idea what you're doing to me." He heard you giggle lightly. He opened his eyes to see you biting your lip, staring up at him through thick lashes, a blush adorning your chubby cheeks. He throbbed.
"You could show me? I promise I'll be gentle! Please Sanji? Can I pretty please touch your dick?"
Sanji felt like he was going to explode from how cute you were. 
"Fuck. Please."
You squealed in excitement, jumping up from the table, both his arms in hand. He wanted to laugh at how innocent you looked, but instead he felt a lump in his throat. You didn't notice, pulling the seated man into an awkward, crushing hug.
"C'mon! C'mon what are you waiting for? Let's go!" 
"Go where?" He laughed at your eagerness. "In case you haven't noticed darling, we aren't exactly alone."
The way you deflated was comical. What wasn't was the wicked glint that formed in your eyes. Sanji gulped, that was never a good sign. He watched as you quickly dashed out of the kitchen. Sanji looked around, confused. Minutes passed. He got up from the table, moving over to the kitchen island, hiding his lower half behind the counter, lest one of the crew wandered in. He sighed, willing his boner away. 
Bang!
The door flew open. Sanji jumped. There you stood frantically in the doorway. Your hair a mess, breathing heavy, and that wicked glint set on him. He watched as you closed the kitchen door, taking a chair and boarding the door. You grinned, stalking towards him.
No. There's no way.
"We aren't going to be disturbed." You were practically vibrating in excitement.
"What? No. Not in the kitchen. We. Eat. Here." Sanji hissed. You peeked up at him, lip pouting. 
"Please? I'll make sure there's no mess left." You pleaded. 
No mess? Sanji closed his eyes and groaned when he realised what you meant. You were going to be the death of him. When he opened his eyes you were in front of him, staring at him shyly. He startled.
"Can I kiss you? Or is that too far?"
Too far? He wanted to cry. You really had no idea what you were doing to him. He bent down. You grinned. He wrapped an arm around the back of your head, pulling you closer. You tipped your head up. He smiled softly before placing his lips on top of yours.
Your lips locked together like the last piece of a puzzle. You sighed, eyes flitting closed. You pushed further against him, trying desperately to pull him closer. He tasted like cigarettes but you didn't mind, an addictive taste for an addictive man. You wanted more of him. You kissed him feverishly, reluctantly pulling back for air. You stared at the taller man through lidded eyes. He gazed down at you lovingly, a blush high on his cheeks. His blue eyes studied your face closely. 
Sanji laughed as with both hands you pulled his face back for another kiss. His skin was hot, your hands now cold against his cheeks. You tasted sweet and he wanted to devour you so badly. You were too cute. He felt you pull him closer to you. You were kissing and sucking at his lips before you felt it. Sanji bit back a groan, feeling your hips brush against him. He felt pure embarrassment as he heard your breath hitch, pulling away. He opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by a groan as you experimentally pushed your hips against him harder.
"Oh my gods." He heard you whisper against him. He froze. "Oh my gods it's so-"
"We can stop if it's too much dar-LING!"
He squeaked as he felt both your hands rake down his chest, you humming contently as you kept yourself pressed against him. He felt overwhelmed at how eager you were. He'd never had someone so upfront in wanting to touch him. His cocked throbbed. You mewled lightly, causing another throb.
"Oh my god it moves?" You giggled. He cracked a smile back. You were so innocent.
Sanji had made one crucial mistake though. That was thinking that just because you were inexperienced, that meant you would be submissive. He felt you cage him against the countertop, the wood digging into his ass, your hands on him. It wasn't that he didn't like it, the dissonance was making him dizzy. He felt your hands find purchase on his waist. You breathed out a dreamy sigh.
"God your waist is so fucking tiny."
Sanji bristled with embarrassment. He tried to address it without upsetting you. "Love, that's not exactly what I want to hear."
You giggled. "I can't help it, it's so hot. You could kick my ass if you wanted, but holy fuck you're just letting me feel you up. Gods I've seen you fight, I've seen how thick your legs are, but fuck your waist is so little."
Sanji hissed. He'd never experienced anything like this before. Your hands migrated upwards, resting on his pecs. Your slow pace was driving him insane.
"Can I?" You gestured to his shirt.
"Fuck, love, I'd love to, but maybe when we have somewhere more private okay? Don't want to be too unclothed if someone tries to come in. Same with you okay? Don't want anyone to see something so gorgeous." He smiled at you. You nodded your head, practically buzzing at the idea of this happening again. He winked at you. "You could take off something else though."
Sanji was shocked and delighted at how quickly you dropped to your knees. You began playing with his belt, figuring out how the clasp worked. Sanji scrunched his eyes shut. Fuck, you were so eager! He never would’ve expected it to go like this. Despite your eagerness you were so gentle, as if you were afraid of touching him. He was going to prompt you, but instead you softly pulled his zipper down and began drawing the fabric down till it sat mid thigh.
Oh, fuck. There he was, huh?
You looked at his clothed cock, studying It like it was some kind of strange bug. You wanted to laugh at the comparison. Above you Sanji was flushed, embarrassed by your staring. You ran a finger over the bulge. He hissed, his dick jumping lightly. You couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of your throat. 
"What?"
"It's so cute the way it jumps."
"Maybe this was a mistake."
"No no no! I promise I'll be good. Can I, um... do I?"
"Just...hah...do what you think is right. I'll...correct you."
Sanji let out an undignified squeak as he felt you lightly grab the clothed bulge. You massaged it, feeling what you could, watching with curiosity how the man above you writhed. Exploratively, you moved your hand further back, cupping his balls through the fabric. The friction of the fabric against bare skin was pure torture.
"Oh shit!" Sanji whined. You withdraw your hand like it burnt. "That's, god, that's really sensitive okay? You're killing me sweetheart."
"Sorry." You mumbled, placing a kiss to his bare thigh. The "strange bug" jumped again. You began peppering more kisses to his thigh. Once you reached the inside of his thigh you breathed deeply, he smelt musky, it made your mouth water. Experimentally, you licked the inside of his thigh. Sanji's thigh tensed. You licked upwards in long stripes until you reached the leg of his underwear. You gave a quick moment of hesitation before you blew air over the bulge. Sanji hissed. Smiling, you placed a kiss directly over the top of his bulge. 
"Did you just kiss my dick?"
"Mmhmm. Watch, I'll do it again." You placed an open mouth wet kiss over Sanji's clothed cock. The man above you threw his head back, whining softly. The fabric was dampened with a mix of your spit and something else. You saw how taut the fabric had become. You cooed. "That looks like it hurts." 
Sanji nodded. You looked up at him.
"Can I take them off?"
He shuddered. "Fuck. Please (name)."
With curiosity you began dragging the wet underwear down his hips, settling them at his mid thigh. His musky scent overpowered you, and you watched with fascination as Sanji's cock slapped against his stomach. Looking up at him you saw how tight his eyes were scrunched, knuckles gripping the countertop. You noticed how he shivered lightly at the exposure. Sanji's cock stood, large, imposing, and leaking. You breathed out a curse. It looked gorgeous, just like him, long and lithe. His happy trail led to a neat little patch of dark hair. You salivated. Eyes drawing to your prize, you winced at how red and angry the head looked.
Sanji thought he was going to kill you when he felt you tap his cockhead like a microphone. Instead he bucked his hips away, humiliation colouring his face. "Stop that! I know you don't know what you're doing, but please use your brain dearest." 
You mumbled an apology before rubbing your hands together, trying to warm them. He watched as you wrapped a hand around his dick before moaning lowly. You studied him, absolutely enraptured, as you gave a test pump. The man above you crumbled. 
"Do you always get this way?"
"No." He panted.
"Just for me?" You tried sultry, trying to muster up some quote from a smutty novel you once read. Sanji peeked one eye open before groaning.
"No." His voice was strained, breathing heavy. You tried pumping him, but the rhythm was sloppy. "N-no. You're...it's a lot right now. I'm not used to it being this slow…or clumsy."
"Do you like it?" You looked up at him with wide eyes.
"Unfortunately." He muttered. With a burst of pride you tried pumping him harder. Sanji squealed, grabbing your hand. "Fuck (name), I really need you to spit in your hand. Th-that's painful."
"Oh...sorry." You offered. Sanji watched as you perversely spit in your hand, wrapping the digits back around his cock. You tried setting a rhythm, it was sloppy, but you focused on giving him consistent squeezing pressure. Sanji moaned lowly at the squeezing, hips rocking. 
Soon you reached a steady rhythm. You watched with bated breath before you slowed down. Sanji began to whine from the loss, only to keen loudly as he felt your lips enclose his cockhead. He began spluttering, eyes rolled backwards. He'd take anything right now, fuck he wanted to cum so bad. He sucked in a breath.
"No teeth, okay love?" 
You laughed, the vibrations tickling him in the best way. He moaned, trying desperately to not fuck your face. His eyes were so tightly scrunched.
You slowly forced yourself further down his length, squeezing the base. Sanji swore. You froze, taking a deep breath through your nose. When he didn't stop you, you continued your devotion. 
"Ack!" You choked, throat burning. You felt Sanji's hand patting your head. You retreated off him, coughing.
"Darling don't take more than you can okay. We don't want you to choke now."
You gazed up at him, eyes wet and throat hoarse. "Let me try again!" 
Your raspy voice made Sanji quiver, but the way you looked up at him, absolutely wrecked, made him burn. As quickly as he noticed it, it ended, and you unceremoniously inhaled his cock. He could feel you try to smile. 
"Fuck!" His voice was high as you sucked hard, adding your tongue to flatten against the underside of his cock. "(Name)! Baby, fuck, I-"
"Hey why won't the door open?" Zoro's voice rang through the wood. Sanji stilled, holding your head. The two of you looked at each other frozen. Sanji tried clearing his throat. 
"If you keep making noise out there, I'm gonna explode, Mosshead!"
You snorted, trying hard to not laugh. 'Yeah you're gonna explode,' you inwardly snickered. 
"Whatever shitty waiter." 
Silence. Sanji looked down at you. "Darling, maybe we should stop. It's okay, we can try again another day." He froze at the frustrated look that overtook your features. "Fuck." He whispered.
You sucked harshly causing Sanji to bite his hand hard to avoid screaming. He felt you try swallowing, watched as tears pricked your eyes. You didn't slow down on your work, sucking harshly and hands wandering. You grabbed a fistful of his asscheek, other hand tracing circles on his inner thigh. You felt him tensing, quivering. His hand reached for your neck, trying to coax you off. He was so close.
"Oh god!" Sanji gasped. "Baby I'm gonna cum, you need to hop off-AH!" 
You sucked harder, milking the man through his orgasm. It was like music the way he spluttered and grabbed the back of your head, nails scratching your scalp. You felt hot, thick liquid painting your throat. It wasn't pleasant, but fuck his reactions were. Some dribbled out of the corner of your mouth and Sanji wiped it away with a thumb, a fucked out expression on his features. He pulled his softened cock out of your mouth, and watched, breathless as you swallowed his seed. You made a grimace afterwards causing the man to laugh.
"Was it okay?" You asked, shyness taking over you. 
"You're lucky I don't mind a bit of torture. It was good for a first try." He gave you that flirty grin and a wink. "I think you need more practice though."
You laughed, outstretching a hand so he could help you up. You tried stretching your legs, noting the numb pain in your knees. You wrapped your arms around his middle. "Was I that bad?"
Sanji pulled his underwear and pants back up, zipping his pants closed. He pulled you closer. "Nah, you're just something else entirely. Silly." Kiss. "Torturous." Kiss. "And I am smitten with you."
"We've wasted enough time, better get back to it." You smiled against his lips. 
"I'd love to pay you back."
"Later loverboy, we're gonna have the whole crew in here soon if we don't hurry."
"I'm so glad there's a later."
You winked, straightening your clothes and heading for the door. You stopped, turning to stare at the man.
"For you baby? Always. Oh, can you make souffle?"
"What? Why?"
"I told the guys we were making a souffle and needed the kitchen completely silent."
Sanji laughed. You definitely kept him on his toes.
-----------
I'm not going to lie, some of this is coloured by my first time hahaha! I am an incredibly awkward person, and yes I did also once tell a guy how cute I thought it was when dicks jump. He also told me I was fucked for that ha!
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thetransguard · 7 months ago
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okay i knew it was coming but its kind of killing me how obtuse people are being towards toshiro (im not fucking calling him shuro and honestly yall should stop with that too). should he have told laios how he really felt about him, sure, yeah, but im going to go off on a limb here and suggest maybe! maybe! he's been raised in an environment where it's actually like legitimately unheard of and taboo to be very open and straight forward about his feelings. the entire party has been calling him by a name that literally isnt even his own because he is so used to quashing down his own reactions to others. like i think other poc diaspora dunmeshi fans might agree with me here but he just reads like someone whos not bothered enough to correct every microaggression thrown his way. because that shit is exhausting. and after like five hours of laios bugging him about stories of his homeland why would he have a good opinion of him. genuinely. im not saying laios is entirely at fault but neither is toshiro. i love laios too but it is Very Weird that toshiro gets the brunt of their friendship's falling out (ill circle back to this)
also to preface this i am a farcille shipper so im. not pushing for falin/toshiro. but people acting like his affection for falin is somehow not relevant or he has no devotion to falin at all is CRAZY. immediately after being teleported out he threw himself back into that dungeon and didnt eat or sleep properly to rescue her. we literally watch him collapse from it. after multiple episodes emphasizing the importance of nutrition and caring for yourself and your take away from a man willing to toss that away is that he just. doesn't care for falin? why is he in the dungeon then? answer. quickly. granted he's not as onboard with the whole black magic thing but his concerns are literally valid and before we see falin chimera he seems to have been talked down from reporting them all for it. its the proof of his concerns of the use of black magic that he decides to go up and report them at all. his bond with falin isn't nearly as strong as marcille's bond but its also not nothing. ignoring that or minimising his own sacrifices is such a nasty bad faith disservice to his character.
speaking of bonds. toshiro doesn't hate laios. guys. his last act this episode was to give laios and the rest of the party (yes, even black magic user marcille) a way out of the hole that they'd already dug for themselves. fleeing to the east and leaving falin to the elves isnt the best case scenario but it is one that lets the majority of the party survive whatever's coming. its the realistic play. is this the act of a man who hates his former colleagues? is he wishing harm and further misfortune on them? his actions speak for themselves. you guys are being way too hard on toshiro and its really fucking telling. this goes for white viewers especially
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nicromancytarot · 10 months ago
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WHAT DOES YOUR PERSON WANT TO DO TO YOU? 18+ themes.
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.
PICK A CARD READING
I asked my spirit guides what the person you’re thinking about would do to you if they could, this was crazy so pick a picture to find out!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
PILE 1
Bro’s fantasising, I put my music on shuffle and got this one song which triggered a memory of when I had a crush on this girl and sat in the car staring out of the window creating scenarios about her to the song lmao, so I feel as though your person may be on the same wavelength as me.
My entire body hurt during this reading, I was having full body channeling which was crazy for me, but as soon as I wrote down that my back and stomach were killing me, the pain went away, so your person may want to metaphorically break your back and possibly even get you pregnant, I was also randomly sweating like crazy so it’s gonna be steamy when they get to have you, I feel like you guys will be going for multiple rounds until both of you are absolutely exhausted and can’t take anymore.
Not going to lie, I see this being someone from the past? #Fuckexes. (Not literally.)
Firstly they may stalk your social media or keep tabs on you, I notice someone gasping at the others breasts if you have those, if they have breast than I’m pretty sure you love them, this is the type of conversation when someone can’t stop looking at the others breasts and is barely paying attention to the conversation.
They wanna watch you play with yourself, they may even want you to send them a video of you touching yourself.
For some of you I can see that they like butt-play, and they like having from behind cus they really enjoy your butt and shoulders, they may like to leave kisses or hickeys on the back of your shoulders. They may also only really see you in a room full of people romantically, but I do get senses that this person may have or might cheat if you were or get into a relationship.
PILE 2
They wanna wine and dine you prior to having sex with you, and I think that they also want to learn what you’re into and have a long winded conversation about both of your boundaries. They also really enjoy your breasts, or you enjoy theirs, I can see that either of you may want to leave a lot of kisses or hickeys there; maybe even for other people to see if you or they enjoy wearing low cut shirts and dresses.
They seem very gentle and worry about your pleasure more than their own, they do want to do some type of butt stuff with you. (What is it with the butt stuff today?) They want to eat the booty or go the full way with it.
At the end they want you to reward their hard efforts with some good ole’ head.
PILE 3
They want to offer a relationship before having sex with you, I do get the vibe that this could be a future spouse who picks you up after heartbreak as we have both the 4 of wands and the 3 of swords. This is the tile of sex that has you forgetting about all the bad things in your life and in the world.
There’s only one card in the spread where she’s not covering her stomach and it’s while she’s watching him count his money so you may only think about getting pregnant after you know they have enough money to sustain you and the baby (they do, they live a life of luxury.) Or you may show them that you have enough money before they think of allowing you to get them pregnant.
They want to take you from behind, finally we have a pile that doesn’t refer to butt-play (amen.) They’re pretty masculine so they would want to take over all of the masculine roles.
You may find them sneaking a glance at your breasts when you first meet.
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jweekgoji · 21 days ago
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Hello! Your writing is amazing! Can I request a yandere Sentinel Prime with a femme reader who has an overprotective Sire? Her sire does not care about who Sentinel is and clearly does not like him and it pisses Sentinel off. Take your time!
Yandere!Sentinel Prime/Femme!Reader with an overprotective sire [hcs]
tw: yandere behavior, mentions of manipulation, jealousy, very brief violence, possesiveness. word count: ~890 a/n: for some reason, I can see Ultra Magnus being this father figure, hehe. thank you for request, Anon~ smoooooch
Your sire doesn't like Sentinel? Well, that certainly wasn't in the plans for him. He expects everyone to treat him like a royalty and look up at him, so when someone treats him differently, it kinda catches off guard.
I don't think yandere!Sentinel will go into his 'killing mode' the moment he sees an obstacle, mainly because he's sure he can take care of that in a classy way.
Sentinel is definitely that guy who really wants to make a good first impression on your sire. He might act like a really confident mech in front of you, but for some reason, he is a little nervous about the thoughts of meeting your sire.
In his mind, it really goes quickly from «oh come on, why would her father dislike me? Everyone loves me!» to «oh Primus. what if he hates me?» and that's how it repeats 24/7. Eventually, the confident Sentinel wins, but he takes a lot of time to prepare for any possible scenario. Everything should be perfect, every single smallest detail is personally checked by him, so nothing goes past.
Imagine Sentinel's expression when your sire harshly brushes it off with a «You're not good enough for my daughter and I don't want you around her. End. Of. Story» and just SLAMS the door shut into his face the moment the other bot sees him. Basically, that's where everything goes wrong. Oh, his poor ego.
Yandere Sentinel especially hates when something goes wrong and not according to his plan. He's a perfectionist, and if he spots any imperfections, it's a total disaster for him! His mood quickly changes from sweet and kind to annoyed and impulsive, so it's better to stay away from him for a good few minutes until he takes a deep breath and goes like «this is fine...everything is fine! :)» with his optic twitching and a small frown on his faceplate, which is easily noticed through his smile.
Yandere!Sentinel gets paranoid with the thought that your sire will start putting the wrong thoughts in your processor, talking trash about him behind his back, so eventually you will start to question your love for Sentinel as well. So, he decides to step in and turn the tables, planting the seeds of distrust about your parental figure. Does your father really care that much for you? Nothing is wrong with being a little protective over your own little spark, but you're no sparkling, you should build your own life!
He does it carefully, using tiny, innocent and careful remarks whenever you two are alone after another disastrous meeting with your sire.
«If your sire really wants what is best for you, why he takes your chances of happiness?»
Until he practically struck you with a head-on, «You always tell me that you love me. So you should choose. Me or him.»
Sentinel is selfish. A small part of him understands how ridiculous it is, to feel jealousy just because your mentor is present in your life. But when you start having more of those father-and-daughter times together, when your attention goes more to your sire rather than him, all rationality in his processor just disappears.
He spends half the day trying to call for you. He wants to know where the frag you are and WHY you don't pick up his calls immediately, since he needs you right here and now. As his partner, you're obligated to always be there for him, and being ignored by you...the audacity!
Sentinel walks in circles in his office, and the silence is bothering him to the insanity. One moment, he will start crying his spark out to her about it.
“After everything I have done to her..! Can you imagine that?” he looks at Airachnid for validation, his voice full of frustration. “I swear, if she calls back, I'm going to tell her everything I think of her, that—”
But the moment he sees your name popping up on the screen, he is conflicted. On the one hand, he wants to pick up immediately, on the other hand, he doesn't want to seem desperate. So he waits a few seconds until he finally decides.
Airachnid gives him almost a disappointed look as she sees her boss using that sweet voice when he talks to you. Suddenly, Sentinel is not that angry anymore, and if anything, he's relieved to finally see and hear your precious voice. He almost forgets about what he said a moment ago until you hit him with «oh, sorry Sentinel, I was with my sire all day. I can't visit you today. See you tomorrow!».
He almost snaps the device in his servo by the end of the call.
Eventually, Sentinel gets exhausted from all of it. He really tried, despite the constant disrespect from your sire. He has no remorse when he finally asks Airachnid to deal with the obstacle in his way of getting you, covering the story as an incident. The death of your sire would shatter you, but don't worry, you will heal soon enough with him by your side.
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vncannyvalleygrrl · 5 months ago
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Charlie Dompler Headcanons
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includes general, dating, and nsfw headcanons in that order (mdni)
General
He had an interesting childhood. His mom and dad weren't in the picture a lot, so most of the time he stayed with his batshit Uncle or his grandparents. His grandpa died when he was young, but the memories he does have with him are very fond ones.
Him and his Uncle are super close to each other. When he was a kid, he would go dirt biking, hunting, fishing... all sorts of stuff with him. If they weren't family, they would 100% be friends. Only recently though has his Uncle found his love of cars (and hitting pedestrians).
Charlie used to be a massive smoker/stoner all throughout high school. He quit recently, but he occasionally lights up a cigarette or a blunt just to calm down after a stressful day of work.
One of the things his grandma taught him was how to crochet, and while he isn't very good at it he can crochet the hell out of granny squares.
Holds a grudge against every peanut company because peanuts killed his grandma. Straight up glares at any bag of peanuts he sees in a store or in public.
Whenever he sleeps his arms and legs kick around like a dog. Wakes up with random bruises and in the weirdest positions because of it.
Originally joined up with Smiling Friends while he was trying to stop smoking all the time. In high school, he wanted to be a semi-truck driver, but he changed his plans when he went through a massive depressive episode. He decided from then on that he wanted to help others as much as possible to improve their life, using the tips and tricks he gathered to improve his own situation.
He originally met Pim seven years ago when he first started working at Smiling Friends. This is the longest friendship he's ever held, and he secretly wishes they met sooner.
Thunder thighs *chews him up like gum*
Total sleeper build. When he's standing normally and just chilling he looks like a blob of yellow fat, but when he flexes his bicep or his thigh you can really see the muscles.
Charlie is the kind of person that hates being in drama of any kind, but will gladly watch someone else's drama unfold in front of him from a distance. This man cannot mind his own business for the life of him.
Snores like a chainsaw.
He was raised religious, but now he's only catholic when it's convenient. When he's in a life or death scenario, he'll pray and ask for forgiveness, but we all saw where he went in the season one finale.
Dating Him
sorry zoey
Dating him feels like that moment when you wake up with your partner's arms around you. The air around you is cold but you feel comfy under the covers and you juusstt want to sleep for five more minutes... He's just a super chill guy to be around, and that only multiplies when you date him.
Charlie is a portable heater. Puts an arm around you when he sees you're cold. Use his hands as a glove PLEASE he will fall in love with you again.
Loves it when you wear his clothes. Bonus points if it smells like him.
He wants to cook for you! He can only cook mac and cheese but he's really good at it.
Dates at fast food joints, chilling at each other's places, watching movies on the couch, etc. Gifts things like jewelry, video games (if you like playing them), and clothes. Prefers to give things that are practical to your life.
Like stated previously, Charlie tends to kick and shift around the bed when he's sleeping alone, but when he's taking a nap with you he holds onto you like a monkey.
If you sit down on the couch, he lays his head on your shoulder. If you're sitting down on a chair, he leans by your side. Super affectionate but denies it at every chance. The most PDA you'll get out of him is hand holding, maybe a few smooches if he's feeling frisky.
Gets confrontational when he feels jealous. He sees a guy staring at you in public? Either hold him back or hold the camera because it's not ending pretty.
His apartment is literally so pathetic. His mattress is on the floor in the corner, the only table he has is reserved for his gaming laptop and a place for food, his microwave barely works. For the love of God please help him improve his living space.
Has you two together as his phone background, can't help but smile when he gets a text from you.
🚨 NSFW 🚨
Poor guy gets horny so easily. Accidentally brush your ass against him trying to get something? Already semi-chubbed. Start kissing him when you're cuddling and you're a little too firm with your kisses? Hard as a rock. Wear one of his dirty shirts and nothing else? You might as well just bend over.
That being said, he's super into fucking you while wearing clothes. He likes seeing you naked, but something about having sex while wearing clothes makes him feel dirty and he loves it.
Absolutely fucks while wearing his cross necklace. Sorry but it's hot.
Lowkey into semi-public stuff. Obviously wouldn't want to get either of you into trouble, but he wouldn't mind a quick blowjob in a bathroom stall or a car.
Uncircumcised.
One time he tried to shave his balls and it did not end well. Still cringes every time he looks at a razor because of it. Has an absolute bush but he'll trim it when it gets bad.
Prefers to have actual sex and receiving head. Doesn't mind giving you oral, but be patient if you have a dick. He has a bad gag reflex. Besides that he's up for almost anything.
Super sensitive nipples when aroused. It took you awhile to realize this (mostly because he's embarrassed about it), but now it's like your secret weapon. Gets him going when you kiss them.
Gets rougher when he's pissed, leaving bruises and hickeys on your body. Feels bad about it but internally loves it.
Less lenient on using protection, especially if you take birth control. He's had a vasectomy, so he doesn't really think about it much. He will use condoms if you get nervous about it though.
He is a proud ass and thigh man. Especially loves stretch marks, he thinks they make you look hotter.
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booasaur · 8 months ago
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Remember during the 2016 elections, we were so scared of what Trump might do? How afraid we were for Roe but were told by so many people, pro-choice people even, that it was such settled law and it would be such a flashpoint, they'd never touch it. Don't overreact, you sound hysterical, this fearmongering is ruining your credibility. Hell, maybe worry for gay marriage, but abortion? No chance.
We watched Kavanaugh and ACB confirmed with increasing trepidation and STILL there was so much shock when the Dobbs leak happened.
Remember that feeling of knowing what was going to happen, because of your experience and knowledge, and nobody believing you till it was too late? And the very people who smugly shut you up pivoting and continuing to act like the authority, that, ah, yes, now was the time to worry?
This guy above represents the mainstream Western narrative since Israel killed the World Central Kitchen aid workers.
Somehow, after everything we've already seen, Israel was still getting the benefit of the doubt. After killing hundreds of aid workers already, mostly Palestinian, after killing more than 15,000 children, after killing multiple people waving white flags. After literally a scenario where a Red Crescent ambulance arranged safe passage with the IDF--just as this WCKitchen convoy had--to rescue a 6 year old child and ending up bombed.
Why didn't the world listen before? Israel didn't suddenly change, only perceptions have. They're the same now as they were three days ago, as they have been for the last months, years, decades. This wasn't an escalation, it was an inevitability.
Chef José Andrés, who runs the WCKitchen, and recently a vocal critic of Israel, was actually strongly defending them earlier. I saw someone call that Western naivety, but... is it simply being too naive, too trusting, when your good faith is only extended to one side? Isn't that just bias? Now Pelosi is signing a letter to stop weapon transfers to Russia when she was accusing protesters of being paid by Russia? Now, Western governments are saying this is too much?
I'll take any help we can get in stopping this onslaught, but these recent shifts came too late to save so many, including the WCKitchen workers. What changed for so many people now? We can't ignore why THIS was so many people's red line when tens of thousands of Palestinians weren't. Not only would it be an injustice to them but until this bias is interrogated how are we going to stop this or from repeating if the same wrong ass people are making the same decisions with the same worldview?
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thatfandomslut · 8 months ago
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Not Into Guys
Regina George x Lesbian!Reader
Word Count: 1k
Trigger Warnings: Aaron Samuels (i'm joking, they're besties), underage drinking
Request:
Can I please request a fic where Regina is like “I know your secret you like Aaron” and super flirty reader is confused and like “Why would I like him when you’re here” and Regina is shocked and it’s super cute and they’re gay for each other!
Mean Girls requests are open.
This all started because of a rumor accidentally started by none other than Gretchen Wieners. "I heard her flirting with Aaron Samuels. She called him her boy toy." Gretchen informed Regina who crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair in thought. It wasn't hidden information that Regina George liked (Y/n). Regina thought they had a thing. Obviously, she was wrong if (Y/n) claimed Aaron to be her 'boy toy.' As she listened to Gretchen go on about everything she had heard, Regina's icy blue eyes landed on (Y/n) as she made her entrance into the classroom.
Typically, Regina had only kind things to say about (Y/n). Unfortunately, her entering with Aaron seemed to cause anything nice to leave her mind as she narrowed her eyes at them. She just couldn't understand why anyone in their right mind would choose Aaron over her. She was gorgeous, popular, and rich. However, Regina supposed that Aaron was kind and funny. People didn't usually associate Regina with those two attributes. Instead, they associated her with beautiful but mean. Which, was right, of course. Regina just hoped that wasn't something (Y/n) thought of her. She wanted (Y/n) to like her the way she did (Y/n).
"This class is kind of lame. I might leave before it starts," Regina interrupted Gretchen, hoping she would stop talking about (Y/n) and Aaron. If she had to hear any more information about them being together, she would either vomit or kill Gretchen. There was a possibility that both of those scenarios were likely, and she would commit both rather than either. Fortunately, the honey blonde beside her seemed to catch on, and she stopped talking about them. "It's not like I'm ever going to actually need geometry. I have people to do my math for me."
Karen nodded enthusiastically at the point that she made. Regina could easily ask Cady if she needed someone to look over floor plans. She was above math, she decided. Aaron had left once the bell rang, leaving (Y/n) by herself at her desk. A small, devilish smirk crossed Regina's lips as she stood up. "(Y/n), I was thinking about skipping class. Would you like to join us?" Regina questioned, and it didn't take a second thought for (Y/n) to accept the invite. Just like Regina, she didn't necessarily care for math. Instead, she would rather escape the confines of those four walls that held math puns and math memes due to the teacher trying to fit in. Karen and Gretchen were about to follow Regina out before she told them to stay. She had some things to talk to (Y/n) about. Specifically, things involving Aaron Samuels and why (Y/n) thought that Aaron was better than her.
Regina would never deny the fact that she was the jealous type. She had decided a long time ago that (Y/n) was going to be her girlfriend, Aaron wasn't going to ruin this plan with his boyish good looks or boy-next-door kindness. That was why Regina brought (Y/n) to the mall, to show off her money in an attempt to woo (Y/n). An attempt that failed as (Y/n) had to assure her over and over again that she didn't want anything Prada or Gucci. Regina was beginning to wonder how attached (Y/n) was to Aaron. If she couldn't convince her to date her over name-brand items, how was she going to convince her to date her at all?
"Okay, what's wrong, Regina?" (Y/n) questioned once they got to the food court. She was starting to grow concerned when Regina didn't comment on how badly styled the mannequins were like she usually did. She was starting to think that maybe it was something that she was doing wrong. If Regina would communicate with her, she would be able to accommodate and change whatever she was doing that was bothering Regina. "I feel like I've done something to upset you."
Regina realized she was beginning to let what Gretchen said about (Y/n) and Aaron get to her. However, instead of being able to keep it in, she was expressing it. A smile crossed her lips as she played it off. "Everything is fine, you did nothing wrong. Now that we're here, though, we can have girl talk." The two girls sat down, confusion bubbling (Y/n) at how quickly Regina changed her mood. "I know you're secret… You like Aaron Samuels." Regina stated confidently, looking down at (Y/n).
(Y/n), on the other hand, was only growing more confused. She wanted to laugh because of how confident Regina had said that. It was completely false. "Why would I have a crush on Aaron when you're here?" She questioned, crossing her arms as she looked up at Regina. It was unintentionally smooth. It caught Regina off guard as her cheeks began to heat up slightly at what she had said. "Aaron is my best friend, and I'm a lesbian." (Y/n) told Regina, wondering why she even thought she was remotely into him.
"Didn't you say he was your boy toy though? I've had great sources tell me this." Regina claimed. She sometimes needed to remind herself that Gretchen took information and ran with it. (Y/n) smiled a bit as shook her head. Leaning in, she kissed Regina, who reciprocated happily. She could hear her heart beating in her ear as she tried to keep herself from messing the kiss up by smiling at it. "Okay, okay, fine… You're not into Aaron."
(Y/n) laughed a bit at the comment before Regina pulled her back into a kiss. This time, she kissed deeper, not as nervous as the first time. Though, her heartbeat remained loud in her ears as they kissed. Regina couldn't care less if anyone was scowling, because all that mattered to her in that moment was how (Y/n)'s hands felt as they cupped her cheeks.
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vandal-flower · 2 months ago
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Great Power Comes with No Responsibilities
Ror men with a powerful but lazy s/o.
Requested by 🦅 anon.
Characters: Qin Shi Huang, Jack the Ripper, Buddha and Loki.
Warnings: A bit of angst in Jack's part. 😶
Notes: Do you think I wrote too much this time?
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Scenario:
"Female god reader who is extremely powerful but lazy , lazy in the means she liked to lie down and sleep a lot , if she wants to she could kill zeus and she can be really intimidating but shes soft around them."
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Qin Shi Huang
He didn't even notice you were a god.
You looked too exhausted to function, and yet you were ready to fight whomever tried to harm him.
He would take care of any obstacles that would dare present itself to him, but he loves how you sort the situation than he does.
There were times where you offered to lift his curse, but he declined.
According to him, if he as an emperor could not endure this curse, how could he rule a nation.
You haven't heard such wise words from anyone else before. You smile at him, and gently give him a kiss on his head.
No one dares to challenge either of you as they fear the both individually.
In private, he declares his love and loyalty for you, as the two of you embrace each other.
"Even if the Heavens dare to object our love, we'll remain ontop."
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Jack the Ripper
He's honestly surprised how someone like you could love a man like him.
He has faced many hardships, threats and much more from people who knew him and those who don't.
However, when it comes to you, he can't help but cry a little at the smallest hint of love and kindness someone has ever given him.
Someone who is even more powerful than Zeus himself. Despite your intimidating nature, he finds it soothing.
Especially when you are so soft around him. He often wonders what he did to be loved and cherished by someone like you.
Many wanted to end his life even before he fought Hercules. He is very thankful that you continue to defend him even with your reputation at stake.
You often don't mind defending him against the other gods, after all he is your lover.
It's unknown how you two got together, but it does not matter as the two of you are head over heels for each other. (Good for you.)
"I don't know what I did to have to have you in my life, but I promise to cherish our time forever my dear."
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Buddha
My guy here is taking advantage of the whole situation.
You can't blame him though, he is literally in a relationship with someone who is as strong, if not stronger than a primordial god!
Many wonder how in the world did you end up with someone like him, but seeing how lazy you are, it makes sense.
Often times, when Zeus threatens to punish him, you put Zeus in his place, promising an eternity of pain should he ever hurt your lover.
The smirk on his face says it all. (Me too.)
He is happy at the fact that even though you are powerful enough to defeat Zeus, or any chief god, you don't get arrogant.
Despite how powerful you are, he treats you the same way he treats everyone, just with more affection.
You bet he's telling Jataka about you, and how much he loves you!
"Thanks for taking care of the other gods for me. I'll cuddle you later if you want honeybun."
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Loki
Another one on the list of taking advantage of this, however to an even greater degree. (What did you expect?)
Whenever he pranks Thor or Odin, he immediately runs to you. The two can't do anything but give him a death glare.
He's busy giggling his bum off behind your back, as you wake up from your nap and question who woke you up.
He often questions you if Zeus truly is the Grandfather of the Cosmos. To which you reply an exhausted, "No, it's only because he is powerful and looks older than he is."
At first he thought you were a demigod due to how sluggish you were acting. But quickly straightened up after seeing Zeus treat you with more respect than anyone.
He tried pranking you, but you were too tired to notice anything. And when you did notice, it backfired on him, resulting to him being confined in the emergency room.
He definitely thinks you're weird and has voiced this, but knows you won't care either way. He also tries to get a reaction from you.
He likes telling you the latest stories (or gossip) from the Heavens. You sometimes stay awake just to hear them.
"Apparently there was a rumors spreading around about Aphrodite's beauty salon."
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I probably wrote too much didn't I.
My inbox is open. Check out my Rules.
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kyemna · 10 months ago
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Hazbin Hotel headcanons
TW: Mentions of sex and alcohol. some suggestive themes that's it, it's mostly just fluff.
(English isn't my first language)
Charlie
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-Will do anything for you.
-you want flowers? Done. You saw a cute stuffed animal in the store front and you want it? You got it. Somebody harassed you on the streets and you want them punished? Let her take care of it. Normally she's against violence, but when it comes to protecting you? She'll do anything.
-will sing to you, all the time
-made a special song that she sings to you when you've had a bad day
-the best listener ever.
-will sit and listen to you talk for hours
-if she needs to get to work early, she'll make you breakfast and leave you a note that says something like:
-hi, good morning lovely! I hope you sleep well.
I had to leave early.. something happened at the hotel while Alastor was away, and they needed me.
See you 2night, i love you:)<3
-i think her love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation
Angel Dust
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-whisper's provocative things to you during meetings
-definitely a physical touch kind of guy.
-Will cling to you at the most random times
-keeps Valentino as far away from you as possible.
-tries his best to keep his relationships hidden from him as well
-if you'd come home after a long day, he'd give you a massage
-is super funny, tell me otherwise.
-has a high sex drive, and is pretty kinky due to his job.
-so expect him to ring you up at the most unexpected times.
-PS. Don't put him on speaker when you're in public..
Vaggie
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-was pretty cautious around you in the beginning, but slowly warms up to you
-once she's comfortable, she tells the wildest stories and acts them out for you
-if you don't know how to fight, she'll teach you
-if you do know how to fight, you guys spar all the time
-jealousy issues, and you can't tell me other wise.
-she hears someone talk to you in a tone she doesn't like? Glare. Someone low-key flirting with you? Glare. If looks could kill.. she will actually kill them though, so..
-not super experienced in bed, but she's open to suggestions
-once she finds something she likes/is comfortable with, she askes you for it all the time
-a "words of affirmation" and "acts of service" girl for sure
Alastor
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(i am perfectly aware he's ace, but these are scenario's for if he wasn't, don't come for me)
-now, Alastor is a great dancer.
-he has great music taste too!
-listens to 1940's and below.
-i think he's mostly into Jazz and Classical music to be honest
-i do think Amy Winehouse and Dave Brubeck are his exceptions when it comes to listening to 1950's and above
-somehow always knows where you are..? You often see his shadows follow you, so that's probably why
-kills for you. Also because he has a thirst for blood, that needs to be satisfied. So that's 2 birds with one stone
-holds doors open for you
-just a general gentleman
-loves it when you wear dark red, dark blue and dark green
-it can be anything. Lipstick (just red though), a hat, a dress, heels, etc.
-expects you to respect his personal space but doesn't respect yours LMFAO
-gift giving and physical touch
Husk
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-knows all your favorite drinks
-loves to dance with you
-also a Jazz person, but I don't think he'd mind country music to be honest
-once he secretly took a picture of you.
-he thought you looked so good, he keeps it in his nightstand.
-doesn't really talk about his problems/feelings, but prefers it if you do.
-respects your boundaries more than anyone.
-you don't wanna talk? He'll kiss your forehead, and leave you alone.
-you don't really like being touched? He'll always ask first.
-other than making amazing alcoholic drinks, he makes great coffee too!
-quality time and physical touch.
It's been quite a while since i've written something, so I apologize if there's any grammar mistakes or sentences that just don't make any sense LOL
Thank you for reading!
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existingoutofspite · 7 months ago
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Azul’s first plan to stop Jamil’s plan was an elaborate roleplay scenario where he called Jamil master and i’m just putting this out here cause this man was told “hey this guy is tricking everyone, has kidnapped the protagonist, and is gaslighting/manipulating someone using his mind control powers”
and azul’s first response was
“ok so i have to take him to a secluded location so i can stare into his eyes for a bit while he evilly monologues at me after spending a lot of time with him… for the everyone’s sake obviously”
like this guys plan was
-spend a lot of time with jamil
-spend time with jamil alone
-roleplay
AND WHEN HIS PLAN WHEN THIS FAILED WAS:
plan b- call him handsome and telling him that he never noticed how good his figure is
azul really went up to jamil mid-breakdown and went “nooo you’re so sexy… don’t kill me ha ha”
especially in reference to the jasmine seducing jafar Aladdin scene?! (also this movie has a lot of questionable things i completely forgot about, that scene is so gross)
his plan was “ok jade you go interegate people i’m going to go play board games with jamil.” and i know that he had actual reasons to go distract jamil and sorta investigate him a bit but really???
also right after jamils breakdown and overblot the second thing after essentially just asking, “r u conscious?” was “heyy, wanna move closer to me u r super smart and interesting, please hang out with me more, i think we would be an awesome couple- i mean business partners, please please please transfer into my dorm and move in next to me please”
and like okay azul. chill out. please you are embarrassing all of us.
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