#other than like this sex pollen fic that i also never posted lmao

[sanjifucker42069]

OPLA!Sanji x Reader - Blowin'

Word Count: 4.6k

I cut down some of the less, y’know, important stuff (the plot lol)

Warnings: oral sex (m!receiving), fem!reader, awkward first times, awkward af, the reader is a dipshit. I’m ngl this isn’t one of those cute first time fics where virgin!reader is suddenly a sex goddess, you are legitimately an idiot. As usual, written with a plus size!reader in mind.

Sanji finds out you’re a virgin. You suck his dick. Congrats!

Sanji was going to fucking lose it. Out of all the possible scenarios Sanji never once considered Nami would take you out to a bar to pick up guys. He brooded as he nursed his drink, Zoro rolling his eyes at the display. Sanji just growled. Usopp looked between them.

"How about another round? 'Nother milk Lu? Hey Sanji, why don't you come with me? I saw some hot chicks up at the bar."

Sanji just shook his head brooding. He looked to where you stood with Nami, laughing at some guy's jokes. He felt stupid at how jealous he felt.

"Hey, Sanj, man. Nami isn't gonna reciprocate y'know?" Usopp offered lightheartedly. Zoro scoffed from next to him. 

"It's not about Nami for once."

---

When Sanji's eyes found you again he saw you alone with the same guy, nursing a drink. Now that Nami was gone he could see the atmosphere had changed, you didn't seem happy like before. He watched as the guy said something and you shrugged halfheartedly. The guy then proceeded to wrap his arm around you. Sanji had known you long enough to see how uncomfortable you looked. Anger flared in his chest. The final straw was seeing the guy trying to tug you out of the booth to leave. You looked so defeated, it hurt. He began stalking his way to your booth.

"C'mon sweetcheeks, let's leave this dump."

"I'm good thanks, I should get back to my friends."

"I already told you bitch, we're going. I didn't spend all this time fucking around to go home empty handed. You're lucky I even stayed once your hot friend left. I'm doing you a favour, so hurry the fuck up."

"No, I really don't want to." You began, the man snarled, grabbing your wrist.

"It wasn't a question. You owe me. I don't go for ugly, but a hole's a hole, and from the back you're probably passable."

You had tears in your eyes from embarrassment. This whole trip was a bad idea. You wish Nami would come back. As the man tugged on your wrist harder you heard that gorgeous voice ring out. You tried to hide your face so Sanji wouldn't see the tears in your eyes. That last thing you wanted was for the crew to think you're weak.

"That's no way to win hearts Sunshine. So uncouth, and frankly, disgusting behaviour."

"Who the fuck are you? How about you mind your own business?"

"And watch such a beautiful lady be treated that way?"

"Beautiful lady my ass. The only thing you can know for sure about girls like this is that their pretty pussy is untouched." The man barked out a laugh causing you to wince. He snaked his other arm to cup your breast over your dress. You saw something flash in Sanji's eyes. "And I know I'm gonna really enjoy these."  

You squirmed, before biting the man. He howled in pain, releasing his hold on you. You quickly made your escape, rushing to cling to Usopp and Luffy, crying. You felt pathetic. Embarrassed that all eyes were on you.

Sanji saw red. You blinked back tears as you called out to him. Sanji was protective of all of you, but he seemed especially so of you. You knew it was because he saw you as some kind of little sister. "It's okay Sanji. Really, let's just go home. Please."

"No." He fixed the drunk man with a freezing gaze. "You dare touch someone so out of your league? I asked you nicely to piss off, but now I'm going to fucking kill you."

Before you could react Sanji had kicked the man in the chest. You watched as he began ruthlessly kicking and stomping the man, muttering profanities and sentences you couldn't understand. With a final stomp he huffed. Zoro finally pried Sanji away. You saw Nami returning, fuming. If you weren't so traumatised by the night you would have laughed at how Zoro pried Nami away too, holding the two brawlers by the scruff as they fought against it, looking like wet cats.

You don't remember how you got home. You remember Usopp covering you in his coat and dragging you out of the bar. You remember apologising to Usopp, crying that you needed to go back. The last thing you remember was Luffy running to join you, scooping you up and starting the walk back to the Going Merry, you, falling asleep in his rubbery arms.

---

"Ah my dear, you're finally awake. I made you something to eat."

You smiled tightly at him, thanking him. The way you played with your food tugged at his heartstrings. You looked so mournful. He pulled up a chair, sitting backwards on it, gripping the backrest. 

"C'mon lovely, don't make me have to feed you myself." He winked. Your lips twitched upwards performatively. Sanji frowned. "Look (name) about last night-"

"I'm sorry."

Confusion. "What?"

You cringed inward. "I'm....I'm sorry I ruined everyone's night."

"You didn't ruin anyone's night, that good for nothing prick did. Don't understand why you'd even go for a guy like that to be honest." He added bitterly. You frowned.

"I wouldn't normally. Everything moved so fast. He seemed nice...It was too late before I realised it's because he wanted Nami." Silence. "Once Nami left, I, well, I didn't want to cause a scene."

"So, what? You were just going to let him take advantage of you?"

You jolted, shocked. "No! No, I- there was no way he was going to-” 

“(Name), love, I know you can be a bit naive but-”

Your voice was small. “He said so himself! He..." you trailed off. "He didn't 'go for ugly girls'. And besides…he was right."

Sanji frowned, angry at the world. How could anyone make you believe that you weren't beautiful? That you didn't deserve some guy trying to take advantage of you? He took a deep breath, steadying his resolve

“There's no such thing as an ugly girl (name), and if there was, I can assure you you're not one of them.”

“Not that.” Sanji took in how you winced, trying to make yourself seem smaller.

What?

Sanji felt the wind knocked out of him.

You're a virgin?" He asked, clearly shocked. You bristled with embarrassment.

"Well...yeah, but I understand how it works! It's not such a big deal, I mean...I've just, I've never had the chance."

"Have you ever...y'know, at all? Not even a handy?" You shook your head. He flushed, you were completely pure.

He felt slightly sick at how his perverted thoughts twisted that. He could be your first, ruin you for all other partners. He could be the one to take your innocence. His cock twitched at the thought. Shame flooded him. You were his friend, his, admittedly, very cute friend. He shouldn't be thinking about you this way. His mind was racing with all the obscene thoughts he'd ever had, the deviant things he dreamed of. He was disgusting. You were too innocent, he'd felt guilty before, but now he felt like he was defiling you just by thinking about you.

You took his silence as pity and pointedly looked away from him, taking a deep breath.

"It's not like I don't want to. I do. But, ugh, it's so silly...no one has ever shown any interest. I'm not exactly a goddess like Nami."

"Darling, I don't believe no one has ever shown interest." He offered a smile. Gods if you only knew how badly he ached for you. How hard you made him. Now wasn't the time for him to blow your friendship over him thinking with his dick. You were being vulnerable.

"I don't need your pity Sanji. It's okay. You don't have to give me the 'everyone's beautiful in their own way' speech. There's more to me than my lack of experience! I'm a good fighter! I have talents, I don't need to be pretty. Just, sometimes, it'd be nice.". 

This wouldn't do. He had to try to fix this. He took your small hands in his, trying not to lose his breath at how warm they felt. Swinging them lightly, he stared into your eyes.

“You are a beautiful girl, you deserve way better than some kind of bastard like that. Men are pigs (name), you shouldn't trust any of them."

"I trust you."

Sanji froze. You peaked up at him shyly. He looked conflicted, and that caused you to smile sadly, misinterpreting the look. You withdrew your hands, fiddling with them in your lap. "I didn't mean that you should take one for the team Ji, I just meant that, well, I trust you. I don't think you're a pig."

"You shouldn't trust me." He lowered his voice. You stared at him, clearly taken aback. "I'm just as bad."

"No, you-"

"No. I'm an absolute pig darling. You aren't that dense surely."

You frowned. "Sure you flirt a lot with other girls, but that's just you! It's charming, non-threatening. I don't see you acting like-"

"I flirt with you too!" He tried, clearly exasperated. You smiled.

"Exactly! You make cute comments to me, and call me cute things like darling, but you're just naturally flirty."

Sanji groaned. Your smile slowly faltered. Sanji screwed his eyes shut. "I'm not 'just naturally flirty'...I mean, I am, I suppose, but I'm actually trying to flirt with you. I thought you were just being polite, but are you really that dense?"

"I....you are?"

"Are you kidding me?!"

"But, I'm..." You gestured to yourself. "You're more friendly than flirty to me?" 

"You're too innocent, it's not like I could just waltz right up and tell you that I think you're hot, can I?" He bristled. 

You felt electricity surge down your spine. Hot? Sanji thought you were hot? Sanji? 

Sanji took your silence as disgust. "See! That's exactly why I couldn't tell you."

"You think I'm hot?" He nodded. Your grin spread, hurting your blushing cheeks. Your eyes sparkling. "You think I'M hot?!"

"Yes, okay!" He sounded almost angry.

"Sanji, you're gorgeous! I'm too awkward. Too fat. Too plain. I'm not a model or some kind of beauty. And you're telling me someone as handsome as you, thinks I'm attractive!? And I-"

You stopped, really thinking about what he said. "Innocent? I....well I suppose. I'm not that innocent though."

Sanji's nostrils flared. "Not that innocent? Please love! You prance around in those low-cut tops and shorts in front of everyone, thinking that they ain't gonna go ballistic? You're too trusting of men, thinking that we aren't all beasts inside."

You laughed, still riding the high of his praise. Sanji snarled, banging his fist on the kitchen table. "No! It's true. You think someone doesn't see the way your tits look and salivate? You don't think you would make anyone insane? You don't think I got so fucking hard when you told me you're a virgin?"

He froze, blood turning to ice, clearly regretting blurting out that last bit. You stared at him, eyes round with wonder. He avoided your gaze, cringing at what you said next.

"I...I make you hard?".

"I'm sorry (name), that was very ungentlemanly of me. I didn't mean to say that last part." 

"But you did." He felt warm hands prying his open and playing with his fingers. He flitted his eyes up to see your face red, staring at him with your eyes practically sparkling with mirth. "God, I've wanted you to fuck me for ages, and now you're telling me you've actually wanted to this whole time?"

Sanji stiffened, cock twitching. He ached painfully. He felt parched, throat burning. This had to be a joke. "You...what?"

"Yeah. Fuck. I, mean, the clothing was purposeful at first, I wanted you to notice me. I had no idea it was working though, haha!"

"WHAT!?"

"Yeah, I thought you knew? You never noticed I only wore those kinds of clothes when you were around? You never noticed how I tried to cling to you in the kitchen? I just assumed you knew and thought I was gross, so I pulled back." You laughed. "Did you seriously think that because I'm a virgin I can't think sexually?"

"But you've never-"

"You've never said anything raunchy to me like you do to other girls. I thought you saw me as a little sister. It'd be weird if someone you saw like family told you they want to suck your dick."

"Fuck." He hissed. 

"Oh this is too good! Have I been torturing you?" You laughed, running a hand up his arm. "You must be so frustrated."

"You have no idea." 

"I could help you." 

Sanji groaned. "You can't say things like that."

"Oh." You pulled back, back to being timid. Even if it was at his expense, Sanji felt the loss of your confident persona. Fuck he really was a masochist, wasn't he? "I, um, I'd need you to guide me. But if you did want help, I'd like to be the one."

"God, you have no idea what you're doing to me." He heard you giggle lightly. He opened his eyes to see you biting your lip, staring up at him through thick lashes, a blush adorning your chubby cheeks. He throbbed.

"You could show me? I promise I'll be gentle! Please Sanji? Can I pretty please touch your dick?"

Sanji felt like he was going to explode from how cute you were. 

"Fuck. Please."

You squealed in excitement, jumping up from the table, both his arms in hand. He wanted to laugh at how innocent you looked, but instead he felt a lump in his throat. You didn't notice, pulling the seated man into an awkward, crushing hug.

"C'mon! C'mon what are you waiting for? Let's go!" 

"Go where?" He laughed at your eagerness. "In case you haven't noticed darling, we aren't exactly alone."

The way you deflated was comical. What wasn't was the wicked glint that formed in your eyes. Sanji gulped, that was never a good sign. He watched as you quickly dashed out of the kitchen. Sanji looked around, confused. Minutes passed. He got up from the table, moving over to the kitchen island, hiding his lower half behind the counter, lest one of the crew wandered in. He sighed, willing his boner away. 

Bang!

The door flew open. Sanji jumped. There you stood frantically in the doorway. Your hair a mess, breathing heavy, and that wicked glint set on him. He watched as you closed the kitchen door, taking a chair and boarding the door. You grinned, stalking towards him.

No. There's no way.

"We aren't going to be disturbed." You were practically vibrating in excitement.

"What? No. Not in the kitchen. We. Eat. Here." Sanji hissed. You peeked up at him, lip pouting. 

"Please? I'll make sure there's no mess left." You pleaded. 

No mess? Sanji closed his eyes and groaned when he realised what you meant. You were going to be the death of him. When he opened his eyes you were in front of him, staring at him shyly. He startled.

"Can I kiss you? Or is that too far?"

Too far? He wanted to cry. You really had no idea what you were doing to him. He bent down. You grinned. He wrapped an arm around the back of your head, pulling you closer. You tipped your head up. He smiled softly before placing his lips on top of yours.

Your lips locked together like the last piece of a puzzle. You sighed, eyes flitting closed. You pushed further against him, trying desperately to pull him closer. He tasted like cigarettes but you didn't mind, an addictive taste for an addictive man. You wanted more of him. You kissed him feverishly, reluctantly pulling back for air. You stared at the taller man through lidded eyes. He gazed down at you lovingly, a blush high on his cheeks. His blue eyes studied your face closely. 

Sanji laughed as with both hands you pulled his face back for another kiss. His skin was hot, your hands now cold against his cheeks. You tasted sweet and he wanted to devour you so badly. You were too cute. He felt you pull him closer to you. You were kissing and sucking at his lips before you felt it. Sanji bit back a groan, feeling your hips brush against him. He felt pure embarrassment as he heard your breath hitch, pulling away. He opened his mouth to protest but was cut off by a groan as you experimentally pushed your hips against him harder.

"Oh my gods." He heard you whisper against him. He froze. "Oh my gods it's so-"

"We can stop if it's too much dar-LING!"

He squeaked as he felt both your hands rake down his chest, you humming contently as you kept yourself pressed against him. He felt overwhelmed at how eager you were. He'd never had someone so upfront in wanting to touch him. His cocked throbbed. You mewled lightly, causing another throb.

"Oh my god it moves?" You giggled. He cracked a smile back. You were so innocent.

Sanji had made one crucial mistake though. That was thinking that just because you were inexperienced, that meant you would be submissive. He felt you cage him against the countertop, the wood digging into his ass, your hands on him. It wasn't that he didn't like it, the dissonance was making him dizzy. He felt your hands find purchase on his waist. You breathed out a dreamy sigh.

"God your waist is so fucking tiny."

Sanji bristled with embarrassment. He tried to address it without upsetting you. "Love, that's not exactly what I want to hear."

You giggled. "I can't help it, it's so hot. You could kick my ass if you wanted, but holy fuck you're just letting me feel you up. Gods I've seen you fight, I've seen how thick your legs are, but fuck your waist is so little."

Sanji hissed. He'd never experienced anything like this before. Your hands migrated upwards, resting on his pecs. Your slow pace was driving him insane.

"Can I?" You gestured to his shirt.

"Fuck, love, I'd love to, but maybe when we have somewhere more private okay? Don't want to be too unclothed if someone tries to come in. Same with you okay? Don't want anyone to see something so gorgeous." He smiled at you. You nodded your head, practically buzzing at the idea of this happening again. He winked at you. "You could take off something else though."

Sanji was shocked and delighted at how quickly you dropped to your knees. You began playing with his belt, figuring out how the clasp worked. Sanji scrunched his eyes shut. Fuck, you were so eager! He never would’ve expected it to go like this. Despite your eagerness you were so gentle, as if you were afraid of touching him. He was going to prompt you, but instead you softly pulled his zipper down and began drawing the fabric down till it sat mid thigh.

Oh, fuck. There he was, huh?

You looked at his clothed cock, studying It like it was some kind of strange bug. You wanted to laugh at the comparison. Above you Sanji was flushed, embarrassed by your staring. You ran a finger over the bulge. He hissed, his dick jumping lightly. You couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of your throat. 

"What?"

"It's so cute the way it jumps."

"Maybe this was a mistake."

"No no no! I promise I'll be good. Can I, um... do I?"

"Just...hah...do what you think is right. I'll...correct you."

Sanji let out an undignified squeak as he felt you lightly grab the clothed bulge. You massaged it, feeling what you could, watching with curiosity how the man above you writhed. Exploratively, you moved your hand further back, cupping his balls through the fabric. The friction of the fabric against bare skin was pure torture.

"Oh shit!" Sanji whined. You withdraw your hand like it burnt. "That's, god, that's really sensitive okay? You're killing me sweetheart."

"Sorry." You mumbled, placing a kiss to his bare thigh. The "strange bug" jumped again. You began peppering more kisses to his thigh. Once you reached the inside of his thigh you breathed deeply, he smelt musky, it made your mouth water. Experimentally, you licked the inside of his thigh. Sanji's thigh tensed. You licked upwards in long stripes until you reached the leg of his underwear. You gave a quick moment of hesitation before you blew air over the bulge. Sanji hissed. Smiling, you placed a kiss directly over the top of his bulge. 

"Did you just kiss my dick?"

"Mmhmm. Watch, I'll do it again." You placed an open mouth wet kiss over Sanji's clothed cock. The man above you threw his head back, whining softly. The fabric was dampened with a mix of your spit and something else. You saw how taut the fabric had become. You cooed. "That looks like it hurts." 

Sanji nodded. You looked up at him.

"Can I take them off?"

He shuddered. "Fuck. Please (name)."

With curiosity you began dragging the wet underwear down his hips, settling them at his mid thigh. His musky scent overpowered you, and you watched with fascination as Sanji's cock slapped against his stomach. Looking up at him you saw how tight his eyes were scrunched, knuckles gripping the countertop. You noticed how he shivered lightly at the exposure. Sanji's cock stood, large, imposing, and leaking. You breathed out a curse. It looked gorgeous, just like him, long and lithe. His happy trail led to a neat little patch of dark hair. You salivated. Eyes drawing to your prize, you winced at how red and angry the head looked.

Sanji thought he was going to kill you when he felt you tap his cockhead like a microphone. Instead he bucked his hips away, humiliation colouring his face. "Stop that! I know you don't know what you're doing, but please use your brain dearest." 

You mumbled an apology before rubbing your hands together, trying to warm them. He watched as you wrapped a hand around his dick before moaning lowly. You studied him, absolutely enraptured, as you gave a test pump. The man above you crumbled. 

"Do you always get this way?"

"No." He panted.

"Just for me?" You tried sultry, trying to muster up some quote from a smutty novel you once read. Sanji peeked one eye open before groaning.

"No." His voice was strained, breathing heavy. You tried pumping him, but the rhythm was sloppy. "N-no. You're...it's a lot right now. I'm not used to it being this slow…or clumsy."

"Do you like it?" You looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Unfortunately." He muttered. With a burst of pride you tried pumping him harder. Sanji squealed, grabbing your hand. "Fuck (name), I really need you to spit in your hand. Th-that's painful."

"Oh...sorry." You offered. Sanji watched as you perversely spit in your hand, wrapping the digits back around his cock. You tried setting a rhythm, it was sloppy, but you focused on giving him consistent squeezing pressure. Sanji moaned lowly at the squeezing, hips rocking. 

Soon you reached a steady rhythm. You watched with bated breath before you slowed down. Sanji began to whine from the loss, only to keen loudly as he felt your lips enclose his cockhead. He began spluttering, eyes rolled backwards. He'd take anything right now, fuck he wanted to cum so bad. He sucked in a breath.

"No teeth, okay love?" 

You laughed, the vibrations tickling him in the best way. He moaned, trying desperately to not fuck your face. His eyes were so tightly scrunched.

You slowly forced yourself further down his length, squeezing the base. Sanji swore. You froze, taking a deep breath through your nose. When he didn't stop you, you continued your devotion. 

"Ack!" You choked, throat burning. You felt Sanji's hand patting your head. You retreated off him, coughing.

"Darling don't take more than you can okay. We don't want you to choke now."

You gazed up at him, eyes wet and throat hoarse. "Let me try again!" 

Your raspy voice made Sanji quiver, but the way you looked up at him, absolutely wrecked, made him burn. As quickly as he noticed it, it ended, and you unceremoniously inhaled his cock. He could feel you try to smile. 

"Fuck!" His voice was high as you sucked hard, adding your tongue to flatten against the underside of his cock. "(Name)! Baby, fuck, I-"

"Hey why won't the door open?" Zoro's voice rang through the wood. Sanji stilled, holding your head. The two of you looked at each other frozen. Sanji tried clearing his throat. 

"If you keep making noise out there, I'm gonna explode, Mosshead!"

You snorted, trying hard to not laugh. 'Yeah you're gonna explode,' you inwardly snickered. 

"Whatever shitty waiter." 

Silence. Sanji looked down at you. "Darling, maybe we should stop. It's okay, we can try again another day." He froze at the frustrated look that overtook your features. "Fuck." He whispered.

You sucked harshly causing Sanji to bite his hand hard to avoid screaming. He felt you try swallowing, watched as tears pricked your eyes. You didn't slow down on your work, sucking harshly and hands wandering. You grabbed a fistful of his asscheek, other hand tracing circles on his inner thigh. You felt him tensing, quivering. His hand reached for your neck, trying to coax you off. He was so close.

"Oh god!" Sanji gasped. "Baby I'm gonna cum, you need to hop off-AH!" 

You sucked harder, milking the man through his orgasm. It was like music the way he spluttered and grabbed the back of your head, nails scratching your scalp. You felt hot, thick liquid painting your throat. It wasn't pleasant, but fuck his reactions were. Some dribbled out of the corner of your mouth and Sanji wiped it away with a thumb, a fucked out expression on his features. He pulled his softened cock out of your mouth, and watched, breathless as you swallowed his seed. You made a grimace afterwards causing the man to laugh.

"Was it okay?" You asked, shyness taking over you. 

"You're lucky I don't mind a bit of torture. It was good for a first try." He gave you that flirty grin and a wink. "I think you need more practice though."

You laughed, outstretching a hand so he could help you up. You tried stretching your legs, noting the numb pain in your knees. You wrapped your arms around his middle. "Was I that bad?"

Sanji pulled his underwear and pants back up, zipping his pants closed. He pulled you closer. "Nah, you're just something else entirely. Silly." Kiss. "Torturous." Kiss. "And I am smitten with you."

"We've wasted enough time, better get back to it." You smiled against his lips. 

"I'd love to pay you back."

"Later loverboy, we're gonna have the whole crew in here soon if we don't hurry."

"I'm so glad there's a later."

You winked, straightening your clothes and heading for the door. You stopped, turning to stare at the man.

"For you baby? Always. Oh, can you make souffle?"

"What? Why?"

"I told the guys we were making a souffle and needed the kitchen completely silent."

Sanji laughed. You definitely kept him on his toes.

-----------

I'm not going to lie, some of this is coloured by my first time hahaha! I am an incredibly awkward person, and yes I did also once tell a guy how cute I thought it was when dicks jump. He also told me I was fucked for that ha!

[mengyao]

3, 5, 6, 22!

3: What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need?

my problem is that i can always be arsed to write all the set-up and context and this is how i get into Pickles (all my wips get out of hand.) i'm sure there's something though… OH i know. it's the ling wen/pei ming/shi wudu fic of my dreams, which involves escalating bets/wagers and culminates in a sleazy threesome but they all have feelings about it but the feelings are complex and unnameable. they are not in love but they love each other but also they don't. but they do. you know.

to get the vibe i want, it couldn't just be pwp though. like i would want this to be a trojan horse of emotionally dense 3 tumours character study. but also funny, because they're comedians to me. minimum 5k of buildup necessary, and in order to do that and have it be good i would have to Get A Degree In Pei Ming And Ling Wen And Shi Wudu and tbh the reason i don't write more poly ships is that having to canon review to get two characters' voices down is enough work as it is… you expect me to do more than that……………….

5: What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

i've flippantly posted about this before but i do feel like i have an elevated level of insight into the nhs + nmj dynamic due to the circumstances of my dad's health issues/head injury/death lmao. i would never do all of that though <3

6: What character do you have the most fun writing?

nie huaisang is the obvious answer (assigned comic relief at birth. a font of earnest sadstuck. deserves to go to prison. the swiss army knife of blorbos.) but shi qingxuan is edging up there. i thought my beefleaf sex pollen fic was going to be 3k but it ended up 8k because sqx as a pov character just kept going and going and going and i was having a GREAT time. i used to shy away from writing characters who are talky and have big personalities because i felt like whatever i wrote would turn out feeling fake and/or annoying, or that it would be more obvious if my characterization was off than if the character was more subdued… i guess i'm just more self-confident now?

more than just being extroverted and chatty, i think what's sooo fun and novel to me about shi qingxuan is that they're such a doer. after primarily writing cerebral repressos for the past 15 years it's so refreshing to write a character whose reaction to most situations is to follow their instinct… they keep the plot moving! never a dull moment!

22: Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

ah ha ha ha ha yeah no i reread stuff i wrote in the last ~2 years allll the time. i know what i like! and if it already existed up to spec i wouldn't have written it! there's definitely stuff i find cringe and parts i skim if i'm not happy with them but overall i spend a lot of time on my own ao3 page......

///

you also asked about foowd extras... i still find writing + sharing these kind of mortifying because despite bravado about my trans fanfiction brand, part of my brain is still like "okay but NOW it's cringe because NOW it's not 'suicidal closeted trans character is depressed and makes bad choices' but 'comparably emotionally stable character is a known transgender and has some good things happen to her' so everyone will point and laugh over your SELF INDULGENT WISH FULFILLMENT!!!1!1!!1" because the particular brainworm i find very difficult to remove re: residual shame over writing trans fic is the idea of anything you write being automatically discounted as personal projection basically on par with readerfic rather than coming from being genuinely interested in the canon character(s). and wanting to write about nice things happening to fictional trans people being like, THE WORST MOST CRINGE thing you could ever do. but i persisteth.

it's funny because i WOULDN'T even say they are just fluffy wish fulfillment stuff... the four "chapters" i'm planning on posting have a bit of an emotional arc, and what interested me enough to write them out instead of just leaving them as comfy eyelid movies were questions like "now that it's actually happening, how WOULD nhs actually feel about the prospect of not only stepping down from sect leadership but uprooting her entire life to go join another sect," with the idea that, if that were to actually happen rather than stay an escapist fantasy, she'd probably feel... pretty conflicted about it! it would be weird (even if ultimately worth it)!

so there's that. and then there's the fact that the entire original fic largely sprung out of ideas about sangcheng eventually being in a long-term relationship that looked a certain way, and then reverse engineering the interpersonal arc that would be needed to get them there (and that becoming the main fic.) foowd proper ends when they've only just even actually "become a couple," and you don't get to see much of that... so i wanted to chuck at least SOME of what i imagine about straight married sangcheng's day to day life into the world. (not that it's even at that point yet LMAO. EVENTUALLY!!!) if for no other reason than that there's a strong chance that sometime i'll reference something from the extended foowd lore in casual conversation forgetting that no one has any idea what i'm talking about because it does not exist anywhere except my brain

[fandomfluffandfuck]

So think about this: Post-Serum Steve has an absolutely wild libido. CONSTANTLY HORNY. It's like his body's making up for lost time when Pre-Serum he might've had a decent sex drive, but wasn't healthy enough to act on it often. But now? What would it be like? What would he do? BUT LET'S TAKE IT FURTHER. What if it was so ramped up that it started to become dysfunctional, debilitating, affecting his everyday life? What if it affected his sleeping, concentration, missions, etc? What if he became obsessed with it? What would he do, try to resist? Shamefully try to indulge as little as possible? What if the other Avengers found out? Would they try to find people for Steve to fuck in order to keep him functional as an Avenger? WHAT ABOUT WHEN BUCKY'S BACK IN THE PICTURE? Could he keep up with Steve constantly wanting to rail him? The whole idea makes me so curious (and horny) and I need people to talk about this! (Are there fics of this? There should be fics of this)

👀

I'm thinking about this ask disrespectfully lmao but yes yes I've heard this headcanon before and I love your twist! It's a unique look at it I think because it mentions how it could be a bad thing too... hmmm

(This turned out way longer than expected haha)

I entirely agree that post-serum Steve has a libido that if you bottled it, could cause nuclear explosions. There is no need for sex-pollen or an aphrodisiac 🤣

"It's like his body's making up for lost time when Pre-Serum he might've had a decent sex drive, but wasn't healthy enough to act on it often."

I've never thought about it like that! Just the idea that his body is making up for lost time as in the time he spent in the ice buuut I do like that added on factor too! I've read a few odds and ends of fics that mention that pre-war Steve had a hard time getting an erection plus a difficult time keeping one.

"What if it was so ramped up that it started to become dysfunctional, debilitating, affecting his everyday life?"

Poor Stevie!

The first thought I had about it being a negative was actually that he'd probably get some... chafing. Especially if he's doing this all alone, before Bucky is found to be alive still. He would probably, despite the serum, jerk himself raw trying to get his sex drive under control.

(I can now imagine Steve whining and jerking off, tears in his eyes, gasping aloud to himself, "it hurtsss, oh, fuck, it hurts, but that I can't stop- I, I, I just- I need to keep going! Need, I, I gotta- I have to, I can't! I'm still hard and it hurts if I don't, just, just one mmmore. Unngh! Ah! Fuck!" And... that shouldn't be hot but... the sadist in me says it is. Fuck, don't imagine Steve being unable to keep jerking himself raw and instead rutting his hips down into the bed, the fuzzy blankets the Black Widow bought him suddenly coming in handy, a lot less irritating than his calloused hand. Don't imagine it. Don't imagine it. Don't...)

"What if it affected his sleeping, concentration, missions, etc? What if he became obsessed with it? What would he do, try to resist? Shamefully try to indulge as little as possible?"

Not to brush over the first part of this with it affecting his sleeping, concentration, and other parts of his second life but, I mean... shame would 1000% be a part of this for Steve! Oh, poor baby...

His Irish-Catholic roots would SCREAM at him in the depths of his mind. He would nearly be eaten alive by it, I fear. Poor guy.

Then there's the general purity culture he grew up in paired with what he's jerking off about-? (Not his best friend who he last saw falling into a bottomless ravine because that's too painful but another dark haired, fair eyed man who has pale golden skin with sturdy muscles under it.... a man. Men.) His material is both socially unacceptable, during the time he's originally from, and also unacceptable in the church. Even if he doesn't believe in God anymore, too many experiences of poor faith stripped it from him, it's hard to shake the shame. The what if? What if He's real? What if I really am going to hell?

ALSO, not to mention how Erskine told him he was a good man... not a perfect soldier.

Yet, Steve suddenly doesn't feel like a good man; he doesn't feel like a good man but a deviant. It feels like he can't control himself and, poor Steve, he's something of a control freak. So its terrifying. The impulses and urges he has. Dirty and wrong... It feels to Steve like the serum didn't wholly turn him pure and good in this way and... it scares him. That part of him scares him for a good while, it feels like a wild animal. Like a dark corner, steeped as he's been in all that America's Golden Boy, US Government Propaganda. It feels like a dirty secret and something to be ashamed of.

"What if the other Avengers found out?"

I can't help but think - because I like to hurt myself thinking sad things lmao - about Steve coming to Natasha (or maybe Agent Hill? He seems to be closest to them right off the bat, more comfortable around women (and especially Hill with queer women having been the first women to join the military, so hed have that basis and comradery)) and breaking down. Crying with tears dripping down his face and chin, landing on the table with a quiet little pit-patter, huge shoulders shaking as he wraps himself up in a hug, grabbing his own hands to twist his fingers up in knots or grabbing at his own forearms, leaving fingernail marks and bruises behind... so, so fucking torn up about all this. Especially after holding all of the worry and shame and stress up inside himself for a long time. It just comes rushing- fucking pouring out of him to whoever he ends up spilling it too (which it surely won't fucking be his SHIELD appointed therapist (one of a few he's switched between, looking for the right fit) because, well, he's sure they're a fine person. A good person probably. But he's weary enough about the information the government has on him, more than enough information on his body, so they don't need more. The less they go poking around in his head, the better).

"Would they try to find people for Steve to fuck in order to keep him functional as an Avenger?"

Natasha I think would take initiative set him up with a ton of people like we see her do in the films. Introducing him to modern dating but also one night stands (and... also how, not entirely illegal sex workers are. He can hire someone to fuck, if he's not ready for the emotional side or the going out to pick up a stranger who may or may not recognize him). She keeps trying and trying, only because she likes annoying the old man she knows Maria Hill has got the other angle covered-

Agent Hill assisting Steve in ordering Steve sex toys and LOTS of lube so he's at least not injuring himself, trying to keep from being unable to focus and unable to help from popping inappropriate erections constantly. (Also Maria makes sure to 1000% keep her lips zipped around Coulson because he would LOSE HIS SHIT, knowing that Captain Rogers is using sex toys. Not to mention how he would probably have a nose bleed too. And the star-struck staring would get so much worse lol. A lot little school-boy-crush-esque.)

Also, TMI but I just feel like... thus far, Steve's favorite toy is a fleshlight. It's familiar enough to jerking off but it feels nicer. Some of the other, uh, options are a little too intimidating for him to want to go for it. Also, it feels a little too indulgent to use these fancy, expensive toys for something that is bad feels like he's doing something bad. (Eventually though, Steve's favorite toy will be a cock cage because it keeps him from getting hard when he doesn't want to or when the situation is inappropriate. That and the chastity device hands over control to Bucky beautifully- even in a healing way, Bucky having control again and Steve being able to let go. Also just a sexy way too though).

"WHAT ABOUT WHEN BUCKY'S BACK IN THE PICTURE? Could he keep up with Steve constantly wanting to rail him?

I mean-

If we're going for canon stucky where Bucky falls and comes back, super soldier and winter soldier, not shrunkyclunks, then I feel like the answer has to be y-e-s.

Bucky 1000% can keep up. More than that sometimes... Bucky gives Steve a run for his money with his begging and affinity for winding Steve up even more than he normally is. Intentionally using himself to tease Steve or just, y’know, existing yet making Steve drool somehow.

Shrunkyclunks would depend on the author and not to be a tease but... this author and this new fic I'm planning right now..? Modern Bucky can CERTAINLY keep up. 👀 I can't wait to write and start posting it eventually.

The whole idea makes me so curious (and horny) and I need people to talk about this! (Are there fics of this? There should be fics of this)

Same! Clearly lol. I think people do talk about it but not a ton especially not a lot in a way where Steve can't deal with it effectively or where it impacts his life negatively. People do tend to just want the sexy part lol, which, fair. Same here haha.

I'm sure there are fics that are more meta-ish or more just, like, constant sex-pollen with Steve's sex drive but other than-

"just let me rock" by mcwho (which... now that I think about it, that whole series, "the serum amplifies", is a pretty good sexy, Steve can't control himself, group of fics)

-I can't think of any specifically!

(Also don't feel like you demanded me to write this, I knew you were just rambling, sweets, I myself got caught up in the thoughts anyway!)

[musette22]

Hi! How are you? I hope you don't mind me asking some questions about your writing...I'm just curious and I'm sorry if you have answered this in the past. I wanted to know: which is your favourite trope and which one is your least favourite? Is/are there sth that you think that you will never want to write (a particular storyline/character/ship/trope/etc)? Between Seb/Chris/Bucky/Steve, is there one in particular that you find the most difficult/challenging to write? Thank you and you don't have to answer all of these questions🙈

Hello sweetheart! I'm doing well, thank you! How are you? 😘 Aahh thank you for your questions! I love questions about writing, I know they're not as much fun for other people to read, but they're really fun to answer, so thank you 😊

My favourite trope to write is probably friends to lovers with mutual pining, which is also my favourite trope to read lol. I just will never get enough of pining boys who think they're the only one in love when really it's been requited all along and them then getting together 😭

Some other things and tropes that I really love to write are:

Various types of modern AUs

Canon divergence (they're still canon Steve and Bucky but they're together or they get together and stay together)

Idiots in love

Sharing a bed

They were roommates

Voyeurism/exhibitionism

First time

Feelings realizations

Love confessions

Fluff

Hurt/comfort

Coming out

Gay for you

Domesticity

And some tropes and things I would still love to write in the future (and some of which I've already got blot bunnies for):

Kid fic

Recovery fic

College AU

Western/cowboy/farmer/lumberjack AUs

Vampire AUs

Wakandan husbands

BAMF husbands

Sex pollen (so great, because it's a great opportunity to combine getting together, idiots in love, first time and voyeurism/exhibitionism lmao)

My least favourite trope to write would be things like permanent break ups, unhappy endings or character death. Nope, cannot do that, do not like. I want all my boys to end up happy and more in love than ever, otherwise I don't see the point 🤷🏻‍♀️

And then some things/tropes that aren't really for me and I don't want to write are:

Non-con

Darkfic

HTP

Extreme kink fic

Dystopian or apocalyptic AUs

Time travel

Fantasy AUs (although I do love me some vampires)

x reader

A/B/O (I knowww, I'm sorry! I've read a few that I've enjoyed but it's just not really for me, I guess) and related Mpreg

And I will never write any ship that contains either Chris or Seb, or Steve or Bucky, with anyone else. I'm extremely loyal to my OTPs (to a fault 😂)

As for which of the boys I find most challenging to write... I think that would be post Winter Soldier Bucky. God, there's just so much trauma there, so many huge themes that I feel very ill-equipped to do justice, you know? I am working on a Shrinkyclinks AU that has post WS Bucky, but it's a challenge for me, for sure! Easiest I think is Sebastian, because I identify most with him as a person and I, too, am very thirsty for Chris (not that I'm not thirsty for Seb, but it's in a slightly different way lol)

I hope this is what you wanted to know, and thank you so much for your questions!! ❤️🙏🏻

[moonwolfhowl]

Yuletide 2k19 edition

Hiyo, first off I’m moonwolfhowl on tumblr and nightmoonz on AO3. I’m really excited that you got me and I just want to thank you so much in advance and I really hope you have fun with this!!

Secondly, here are a couple things that I like and dislike, (and some prompts but you can take ‘em or leave ‘em). If you’re not 100% sure on if something is or isn’t my deal my ask box is open and the anon option is turned on.  

Ratings: I prefer through T-M, but tbh I’m pretty easy so if you wanna go up to E feel free ^__^“’

Likes, Loves and DNWs:

Likes and Loves!

AUs! No, seriously, every kind of AU

Humor! Especially: sarcasm, witty banter, etc…

Angst and hurt/comfort are awesome!

Slow Burns

MUTUAL PINING and/or SEEMINGLY unrequited feels

idiots to lovers, this can either be enemies to lovers or friends to lovers. sort of related to the point straight above XD

found families

Fake relationship/dating/marriage you know for a cover/mission/(fill in the blank)

Bed Sharing

Sex Pollen

“In Vino Veritas” 

Happy Endings!!

Squicks/DNWs (do not wants):

Character Bashing

Abuse of any kind

Cheating

Actual unrequited feelings

Harm to animals

Non-Con

Incest

Mpreg

Major Character Death

Scat and/or Watersports

2nd and 1st person perspective

Spiders especially Tarantulas, this is a huge trigger for me

Okay! I’m gonna put a break here because this is a long post and all prompts/ideas are below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alrighty, so these are just some silly prompts or ideas that you can take from or totally ignore altogether! It’s really just some ideas that you can look to if you’re stuck or need a jumping off point.  And man, like if you already had an idea? Please feel free to go with that instead, I just want you to have fun  = ^__^ =  

Also again, if you have any questions the anon option is turned on for my ask box.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OOctopath Traveler - Therion, Tressa Colzione, Cordelia Ravus, and Leon Bastralle

Oh boy this game. I have no words that can even describe how much I LOVE this game. The storytelling was fantastic and I got really invested in not just the main 8 but in all of the minor/side characters too. I know I have Therion, Cordelia, Tressa and Leon specifically but if you want to throw in any of the other characters in the tagset you totally can, same with any side ships (here’s looking **You don't have to include ALL the characters I selected here in your fic, you can mix them up or follow a prompt I have. I only request that you include at least one of the ones picked here <3

I’m kind of open to anything but if you do need a jumping off point (and/or want to see me gush over my favs) check out the prompts below

Therion - I love him and would die for him he is my perfect little trash bandit. It kills me how he longs to belong somewhere but is equally afraid of it for very good reasons. Because of this he’s so heavily guarded and *sobs* his reactions to people (the 8 and Cordelia) genuinely caring about his wellbeing? It just hrrk! I’m so happy I started with him, that I got to see his growth throughout the story and how his emotional wounds finally seem like they’re on their way to healing. Tressa - My adorable little gremlin, she’s such a little badass! While money may be on her mind a lot she’d never cheat anyone! She’s genuinely kind and her travel adventure is so interesting because it’s about exploring the world, experiencing new places—and while she has a certain understanding of this—she learns the true meaning of sentimental value in things. I love her so much. Leon - I love how much of his character is wrapped up in some mystery and that he seems like a tortured but mature soul (as you can see I have a type.) Cordelia - I love Cordelia and she is entirely underrated. She’s been through quite a lot and her faith in my best boy helped him come back into the world able to to trust and love people again. She’s very soft and caring and now that her stolen heirlooms have been restored to her she can come back into the world herself.

Gen ideas:

Tressa and Therion teasing TF out of each other doesn’t matter what about or who about. I just love them and they have such a brosis vibe

Tressa spear fishing and shocking Therion or everyone by it, you can add any and/or all of the characters in the tag. (Inaccurate Tressa, "What? I live in a Port Town my dudes.”)

I know this is cheesy but Therion having his first Apple Pie would destroy me ; __ ; it can be when he’s little or an adult, AU, Canonverse or Canon divergent it can be a Birthday treat to himself, it can be the first thing he pays for with money he earned on his own. If you want to include any character my sign up sheet or want to include any other octo character(s) that’s fine too!

Shippy ideas (which I’m a little more into but whatever you are comfortable with is a-okay by me):

Cordelia Ravus/Therion (Thordelia)

THEM *SWOONS* I just love them, Cordelia helps my baby boy trust in people again and brings happiness back to his world… and he has so much respect for her I’m just— ; __ ; I just love them

Actor & Author relationship: AU, Canonverse or Canon divergent you name it!

Again Tressa teasing TF out of Therion but specifically about Cordelia (esp after his chapter good god. *swoon*)

Cordelia’s POV on her Noble Thief

Anything post game like I wouldn’t mind seeing her rebuilding Bolderfall, visiting each layer of the city and helping it thrive

Fake Dating. Any Setting XD

The “I’m supposed to take out the target but I fell for them instead” is also very good

Tressa Colzione/Leon Bastralle

; w ; their relationship and care for each other—like Thordelia’s—makes my heart melt

Any kind of them traveling together and developing feels on the open seas post game

Her being his apprentice and learning from him while teaching him some new things

Does Leon have a thing for the arts? Is that why he’s particularly enamored endeared to Tressa spotting the painting?

yeah ngl anything, my thirst is real

A Very Shippy and utterly ridiculous prompt. Tressa x Leon (Treon? Lessa?) and/or Thordelia (however if you wanna include other side ships like Olberhardt or H’aanit x Ophilia for example you can go for it!)

Masquerade! Can be Canonverse, Canon Divergent or AU!

A Masquerade ball in which: 

They can either know each other beforehand or not

Halloween Party, Adults, College AU

idk this is just something to have fun with and hey lol if you wanna make it more mature feel free

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Promare - Lio, Galo, Gueira, Meis

Man this movie messed me up and all the right ways. Honestly one of the most chilling things was to see all of the Burnish being used as engine fuel… I like—ngl I cried, and then when Lio gets used as the core? ; __ ;

Honestly I will be happy with anything you come up with, there are so many possibilities just know that a heavy angst fic is A-okay by me, but if you want to do a flufflier or humor fic those are also so Very VERY good. I have some ideas below but again like if you have an idea in mind or started something by viewing my likes list go for it!

**You don't have to include ALL the characters I selected here in your fic, you can mix them up or follow a prompt I have. I only request that you include at least one of the ones picked here <3

Lio - Um yes I love him. He’s just such a tortured soul and true cares about people. I like—honestly he is my favorite character. The way he used his flame to protect Galo? How hard he fights for the Burnish? How hard Gueira and Meis fight for him and stop at nothing to save him speaks volumes about the kind of person he is. I just love him and want him to have nice things

Galo - This wonderful brilliant dumbass. I also love him and despite me calling him a dumbass he’s actually pretty with it when it comes to adapting to his environment. He also takes in new information and rather than reject it out right he examines it critically. Like the way he approached Kray about the Burnish experiments was not the smartest… However, he still went to find the truth no matter how much it could have hurt him and that really defines what kind of guy he is.

Gueira & Meis - So unfortunately we didn’t get to see much of these two but what we did get to see was GOLD. I love them, I love how they fight so hard to protect their fellow burnish and how loyal they are to Lio. Like omg when the Burnish were being rounded up but they used the last of their strength to save Lio, believing—knowing that he would come back for them? *hrrk* My heart.

So okay!!! Ideas and/or prompts! Again you don’t have to use these if you don’t want to <3

Anything Shippy with Lio and Galo + hurt/comfort?? 10/10

An AU where the Promare gift the Burnish with their “fire bending” abilities permanently

Anything found family esp if it's adopting Lio's litter fam with Galo's ; w ;

I'd love to see what was going on with Gueira/Meis while they were locked up side by side. What did they talk about? Their faith in Lio? Them possibly growing up with Lio? Their feels for each other? And honestly you can go as angsty as you want to with this.

Gueira & Meis being over protective (big bros) of their boss and bestie Lio. (Poor Galo lmao)

Feel free to include any other characters you want from the tag set or canon in general ^___^ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Crescent Moon - Any

Ah… my poor beautiful tiny manga fandom… I love this 6 volume series so much. The storytelling can be fast paced at times but it doesn't even phase me considering how detailed and intricate the themes, lore, relationships and monsters & magic are. For this fandom anything goes, like any AUs, tropes, canon compliant or divergent is all welcome here.

Bonus points if you have your own take of the song/legend: “Princess Princess why do you cry?”

If you want to make a fic about the Princess and the Demon boy when they were kids, or have any fic at all featuring them (kid or adult) I'm all for it.

I love Mahiru Shiraishi/Mitsuru Suou they are such little disasters anything with them would be amazing but I’m a multishipper so if you have a ship that isn't them and you've been dying to write your ship? Write your ship! I'd love to read it!!! 

And anything including Akira is god tier - he is the bestest boy. 

I’m sorry I know this prompt is very open ended and very vague but like I’d just be happy with anything

[farashasilver]

hey! so, i realize im late af, but i finally took the plunge by binging yoi today. once i was done you were the first person that came to mind. idk if you give recs, but i was wondering - what would you say are some essential must-reads for a newbie to the fandom? fic that really blends into the canon and maybe fills those emotional gaps? (feel free to rec your own work as well ofc!) i'd really appreciate you pointing me in the right direction as i consider you a huge yoi resource! 💕

HI I AM THE WORST you asked me this literal months ago and I’m only just now getting around to making you a rec list. It’s been a real busy back half of the year.

OKAY SO I’m gonna put these behind a cut because this is a wall of recs. At least it’s somewhat organized. Some of these are very strong in the canon setting, a handful of them are AUs. You’re not going to get much plumbing of emotional depths from the PWPs, although there are one or two that stand out as really grounding their relationship in skating. Please enjoy this massive list of fic and mea culpa for taking so long to answer you (and I only recced three of my own fics lmao).

Cute short fics that are Safe For Work

Easy on my knees by ineptshieldmaid - Victor’s subby thing explored as a character studyAddicted (to the taste of you) by smudgesofink - After the Cup of China, Yuuri can’t stop kissing Victoryou’re like heaven to touch by lazulisong - Yuuri is wearing Victor’s jacket and Victor likes that a lotYuuri Katsuki Secret Route Walkthrough/FAQ by Metis_Ink - Meta fic written as if the show is an otome game/dating sim, really cutebetter than sliced bread by ebenroot - Victor owns a Yuuri body pillow because of course he doesthe naming of cats by csoru - Otayuri, a little bit of their careers and mostly them gravitating together for a relationshipa slow invasion of the heart by radialarch - Otayuri, Yuri is straightforward about what he wantsIf We Had No Winter by FreshBrains - Lilia/Minako fic where they maybe had a relationship when they were younger and reconnect nowStay Close to Me by dasedandconfuzed - AU where Vicchan doesn’t die before the GPF in Sochi and Yuuri just barely doesn’t medalNight is Young and the Music’s High by opalish - Yuuri somehow gets roped into another breakdancing contest at the press conference for Japanese Nationals. Outsider point of view.Of Love and Other Emotions by smudgesofink - Two fics of nothing but incredibly tooth-rotting fluffthe warmest part of winter by dadvans - Wedding ficThe Bulge (Don’t Bring a Weapon to a Public Beach) by nagoyadelay - Yuuri posts beach pictures. The internet gains an obsession with Victor’s dick.Feet first (Don’t Fall) by gunboots - Otayuri, awkward teenage romcom shenanigans

Smutty Victuuri one-shots

all the sparks you’re trying to hide by pageleaf - Yuuri gets in touch with his inner doma little love, a little sympathy by pageleaf - Yuuri figures out that Russian names have diminutives and uses it to his advantagea day for all the rest by Etharei - Morning after the Cup of China, a Victor introspective plus sweet morning sexStraight to Video by SocialDegenerate - Pre-canon, Victor’s sex tape leaks and Phichit promptly sends it to Yuuri because Phichit is the bro we all wish we could havei’ve come to be where you are (i can’t help it) by incode - Just some nice kinky sexsmoke and mirrors by grim_lupine - Victor randomly gets de-aged to his long haired teenage self and they bonePraise Please by surveycorpsjean - Praise kinkVictor Effing Nikiforov by shysweetthing - Yuuri doesn’t bomb Nationals and ends up at Worlds in the season before canon, is extremely confused as to why Victor is so interested in himTalk to Me by SuggestiveScribe - Yuuri has a language kink for Victor speaking RussianSubmission by SuggestiveScribe - Shibari bondage and orgasm delay with sub VictorStamina Should Have Been a Verb by scribblywobblytimeylimey - 12k words of completely unrepentant marathon sex where Yuuri’s epic inhuman stamina wrecks VictorIMG_20140215.AVI by neomeruru - Victor finds one of Yuuri’s old sex tapes from college where he one of his ex-boyfriends has organized a gangbang for himMaid to Love You by Kizuna_Auri - Victor in a french maid outfit with lots of kink because why notNot an inch of you I didn’t cling to by Farasha - Post-Rostelecom body worship fic, gentle dom Yuuri, Victor is the subbiest service sub who ever subbed, the YOI fic in my repertoire that’s most grounded in canon, I think

Smutty one-shots for Other Ships

Green-Eyed Monster by flammablehat - Victuuri + Yuri’s raging crush on Yuuri, Yuri overhears them having sex and has an angry jerkoff sessionsix feet under by knightswatch - Otayuri, Yuri has a pair of sexy leopard print heels and Otabek is really into them. someone on the dancefloor, waiting just for you by verity - Otayuri, kinky stuffHands On Education by BewareTheIdes15 - Otayuri, hilarious internal Yuri narrative during awkward loss of virginity shenanigansTeach Me Just What Fast Is by Zee - Otayuri, some kink but mostly them figuring out their relationshipDevour by dannydevito - Otayuri, face-sitting and rimmingKind, Sober and Fully Dressed by probablestars - Chris/Phichit, Chris and Phichit make a sex tape togetherthe taste, the flavor by pageleaf - Yuuri/Yuri, Yuri asks Yuuri to help him get rid of his virginity, hints that it could be future Victor/Yuuri/Yuri OT3crimson headache, aching blush by pageleaf - Victor/Yuri, Victor gets drugged with sex pollen and turns to Yuri for help, also features Victor/Yuuri/Yuri phone sexSoft as Snow (But Warm Inside) by Farasha - Yuuri/Yuri, Yuri gets drugged with sex pollen and Yuuri is the one who gives him a hand, plus emotional codaPino Grigio Boys by cherrybulesque - Chris/Victor/Yuuri threesome, they have some fun together in the hotel at a competitionTonight, You’re All Mine by doncastaway - Chris/Victor/Yuuri, Yuuri and Victor give Chris a booty call and he is not complainingOff the Ice by Halrloprillalar - Chris/Victor, someone throws lacy underwear on the ice as a post-skate gift, they have some fun with itwhat flattery gets you by tripcyclone - Chris/Yuuri, pre-canon, Chris expected Yuuri to be shy in bed and gets a lot more than he bargained forVice by Halrloprillalar - Celestino/Chris, Chris has had a crush on Celestino since he was young and seduces him at a bar

Longer Victuuri Fics (any rating)

Maybe It Started Like This by dance_across - Character study into both Yuuri’s anxiety issues and Victor’s insecurity issues and how they navigate those in their relationshipkatsuki_fc wrote by tetsurashian - Outsider POV fic on Yuuri and Victor’s relationship as covered by fan communities and social mediaMaelstrom by feelslikefire - Time loop/groundhog day alternate universe where Victor keeps repeating the Sochi banquet over and over againKintsugi by witchbane - Alternate universe where they’re both in the mafiaCall Everything on the Ice… by shysweetthing - Victor learns Japanese in order to better be able to communicate with Yuuri’s family, also a really sweet look at their relationship developing while they’re in HasetsuThe Boyfriend Experience by cryingoverspilledvodka - Alternate universe where Yuuri had to quit skating and became an escort instead, somehow he still ends up in Victor’s orbitlove like fools by lily_winterwood - Roman Holiday AU, Yuuri is modern Japanese royalty and Victor is a journalist, they run away togetherKings in Couture by slightlied - Devil Wears Prada AU where Victor is the fashionista and Yuuri is his brand new personal assistant (that he thirsts after like woah)we are lost, but we are not gone by persephoneggsy - Dollhouse AU based on the concept of the Joss Whedon show - programmable escorts that can be anyone you want them to be, heavy on the angst and mindfuckeryThe Lily of Kasagiya by Kizuna_Auri - Memoirs of a Geisha AU (kind of) where Yuuri is a famous Geisha and Victor is his favorite charming foreign clientnever stop until the grave by Naraht - A gritty, angsty look at Victor trying to balance coaching Yuuri and coming back to competition at the same timeFated by maydei - Technically a crossover with Loveless but the only thing you need to know about the Loveless universe going in is that everyone has cat ears and tails until they lose their virginity, the author does an excellent job of explaining everything else in the universe

Longer Fics for Other Ships (any rating)

adventures in personal growth by stutter - Otayuri, also features Yuri’s raging crush on Yuuri, series of three fics, Yuri completely and utterly fails at anything resembling “taking it slow”i walk my days on a wire by idrilka - Otayuri, long distance relationship with pining and Skype sexFrom Almaty, With Love by BoxWineConfessions - Otayuri, slow burn get-together fic where Yuri comes to train in Almaty for the summerNeon Pink Motorcycle by goldheart - Otayuri, soulmate/soulmark AU where Yuri’s soulmark is damaged so he can’t see ithe (walked like, looked like) burned like summer by foxfireflamequeen - Victor/Yuri, alternate universe where Yuri suffers a career-ending injury and seeks out the fae to get what he wants (in this fic, Victor is not a skater, he’s a faerie)Commemorative Photos by airspaniel & dance_across - Phichit/Yuuri, Chris/Phichit, Chris/Victor, Victor/Yuuri; a series of fics that starts with Phichit and Yuuri in college and leads into Victor and Yuuri’s wedding (where Phichit and Chris hook up)i know where my heart lies by orro - Yuuri/Yuri, an alternate universe where Yuuri is the 27yo champion, Yuri is the 24yo Russian ace who can’t quite keep up, and Victor is the bratty 16yo prodigyHalf a Chance by ratherunnecessary - Otayuri, also Yuri’s raging crush on Yuuri, a slow-burn fic of Yuri figuring out how the fuck to deal with his feelingsVodka Tonic by Halrloprillalar - Chris/Georgi, a hookup that starts after the Cup of China turns into something that resembles emotions over timeRed, Yellow, Green by dance_across - Chris/Yuuri/Victor, what starts out as a hookup turns into something like a relationshipbite down (to me) by pageleaf - Victor/Yuuri/Yuri, Victor and Yuri seduce Yuri through skating choreography because this is YOI and of course they doAn Excuse to Be There by shadow_lover - Victor/Yuuri/Yuri, Yuri kept the pole dancing pictures from the Sochi banquet on his phone, Victor and Yuuri know whyOpen My Heart by Farasha - Victor/Yuuri/Yuri, Alpha/Beta/Omega alternate universe where Yuri goes into heat unexpectedly, drags Victor with him, and they all have to figure out how to make it work

[dialux]

I would like to read the crack version of if you try to break me now. :D

A list of things that were in the crack version:

When Sansa tells Jon that he died and came back his immediate reaction is every fourteen year old boy’s reaction: try to kill himself and find out.

Robb locks him in his room for a week to stop him

However many times Sansa tells him that they need a Red Priestess for it to work, Jon still goes around with a death wish.

lmao headcanon that Jon hates heights but after Sansa tells him this he goes batshit insane and becomes another Bran

Sansa goes to Queenscrown and basically breaks the Night’s Watch with a flip of her hair.

I mean she basically has a threesome with Jon and Dolorous Edd while there and it’s all very sexy up until Edd starts his usual spiel of pain and agony 

I mean to say that Sansa brings the Watch under Stark rule

(But! She totes enjoys banging Edd and Jon together! She always asks to go to the Wall every year for the rest of their marriage! Jon hates it and loves it at the same time!)

I continuously refer to LF as Petyr Littlefinger because that is a hilarious name to me. I… think there might be a few times I even call him that in the actual story that I didn’t catch while I was editing, lol.

I already talked about Jon thinking he was Lyanna and Ned’s son in that other post. It was fucking beautiful and I made @eolaseadrom shriek at me for three full days about it lmao

Some ppl have talked to me about how they want Arya to be with Gendry at the end of the series but I am rly certain that Arya’s going to be half in love with Ygritte ever after she got threatened with an arrow that one time

Arya and Jon have a couple similar kinks

Ygritte’s got a thing for Stark faces

It’s a match made in fucking heaven

Catelyn’s adventures on trying to get Robb to marry, and Robb’s increasingly desperate attempts to tell her to go away without, you know, actually telling her that.

(There’s like half of a thing written about how everyone else knows that Robb’s uninterested, but because he’s an asshole all the Starks keep quiet)

Bran Stark and the ‘Oh, Okay, I Might Actually be More Gay Than I Thought’ Feeling

with the thrilling sequel: Bran Stark and the Terrible Feeling of Crushing on Both Reed Siblings Simultaneously

and the ending to the trilogy: Bran Stark and the Idea That ‘It’s Okay They’re Really Hot and I Can Talk to Trees Now, My Life Cannot Get Weirder, I’ll Just Stay in Greywater Watch and Torment Myself’

Sansa, Ned and Jon light a fire in the middle of the godswood and burn their clothes after escaping the Lannisters. They dance around it like they’re in LOTF and let’s just say that was scarring for the rest of the Starks. Rickon never looks at Ned the same way again.

Asha just starts stealing Margaery for travels when she gets bored. After the first three times, the Tyrells just- stop worrying. “Hey Garlan where’s Marge d’you know?” “Nah dad but there was a ship from the Iron Islands this morning and there’s a guy in the docks who’s losing his teeth and was almost gelded, so.” “Ah, alright, give it a couple weeks then she’ll be back.”

Wylla/Alys, THE CRACKSHIP THAT IS THE TRUE OTP I DID NOT EXPECT GOING INTO THIS FIC AND FANDOM OMG, THE SHIP I ACTUALLY KEPT IN BECAUSE IT STOLE MY HEART SO MUCHHH

idk man I love the idea of Jon slowly growing to hate Rickon

Rickon loves it a bit too much

I think?? there was a fic?? somewhere?? about how rickon would kick jon out of bed because he thought that jon/sansa sexytimes were hurting his sister. the idea that he’d do that as an adult just- ENDS ME 

Tywin’s reaction to the Battle of Valkyries is… AMAZEBALLS

think absolute utter silence and then a lot of cursing

and also some ‘what the fuck I sent out jaime to do one GD thing’

Also Sansa spends a lot of time cutting Lady’s claws into triangle shapes like she’s a fuckin water polo player 

Actual excerpt: Hercare for Lady, her direwolf, had suddenly become of paramount importance: Sansabrushed her coat and trimmed her nails as usual, but when Catelyn inspectedcloser, Lady’s claws hadn’t been clipped so much as honed; they were small,needle-like knives that didn’t appear to be there unless one looked closely.

Foursome with Oberyn and Ellaria and Sansa and Jon

Honestly someone write me that. I’d pretty much shriek forevahhh about it because jesus above. The hotness. Who’s the hottest one in that foursome? Jon? Sansa? Oberyn? Ellaria? THEY’RE ALL EQUALLY HOT IT’S TOO MUCH FOR MY POOR MIND TO COMPREHEND

uhm I’m pretty sure there’s other things I’ve not talked about but like there’s a lot of funny stuff in the fic itself?

“Garth Greenhand-” Sansa exhaled sharply, and slumped into her seat. “He’s a legend, Jon. We can’t use that as a basis for our government.”

Is this a reference to Monty Python? Yes, yes it is.

“According to all the rumors, you and Queen Sansa don’t fight.” He winked. “Tell me, how do you manage that? Lesser men wish to know.”“By being respectful of her demands,” Jon said flatly. “We talk, Prince Oberyn. My apologies if your lesser men have no knowledge of such.”

because lbr Jon fucking hates Oberyn and is also rly confused by his feelings for Oberyn and is even more horny because his wife’s being all HOT AND QUEENLY but she’s too busy to bone him and also everyone knows that southron air is adrift with sex pollen so like?? Who knows?? If Oberyn had stayed for a couple more days???? 

Foursome time y’all

Sansa dumps a bucket of water on Jon because she’s mad at him

Sansa and Arya literally reconcile over killing people. I expected more readers to be surprised by this, but everyone just took it in stride and I just- okay alright i guess you do you y’all

Also Sansa ties Jon up in the first fucking chapter and nobody commented on it being kinky which I was......... really kinda disappointed by

This is me this is my life and these are my fucking choices. You have chosen whom you have chosen to follow. 

Lmao Sansa and Jon chase Robb out of Winterfell by being too okay with public sex. AGAIN NOBODY THOUGHT THIS OUT OF CHARACTER.

like, he literally goes and rebuilds a centuries’ old castle that’s not been needed for centuries all because he cannot stand being in the same place as Sansa and Jon

the real reason why bran tortures himself by staying in greywater watch: it’s not worse than being with Jon and Sansa in Winterfell

Anyways if I think of more cracky things I’ll add. And if I ever get around to actually pulling together the sentence-fragments of scenes I have for this, I’ll add that as well.