#and average people might still suck! which is why again and again

[changeling-droneco]

Hi I'm that person who made the original post about "no doesn mean no" when a small bit of the mr beast company document was leaked, well, now we have the full document (thanks rosanna) so I'm going to go over it. Please note I am not a lawyer or a business man, I'm in college for psychology, so I might misunderstand some things or make the wrong conclusion. However, if this is a document made for the average mr. beast employee, if I cannot understand it properly, then im sure some employees also struggled

First of all, the opening paragraph. Like I get it's supposed to be like, to put people at ease, but

This is so strange? Like, first of all, this is your EMPLOYEE MANUAL, you should have run it through like, a spell check? Or had someone edit it? This is already incredibly unprofessional. Also the promising of a thousand dollars if you pass a quiz on it? It's bizarre and I'd love to see if it's an actual quiz.

Jimmy, hun, please god get an editor for this you're already trying my patience.

YOU SHOULD, you genuinely should, while interconnected these are all COMPLETELY different jobs, if you think you could write a separate manual for each branch you SHOULD

I'm sure I'm about to get an answer but what the fuck is the best YOUTUBE video then? If it's not comedy, its not production, its not quality, its not look, then what the hell is left? (monetization, it's monetization)

First of all, Jimmy, why are you using internet lingo in this, it's not a text message, this is not a place for, idc, and lol, and not capitalizing your headers correctly??? Also like I said, he's chasing trends for monetization, and also he's just wrong, there are plenty of hollywood level shows and the like on youtube. You fully admit you do not care about trends and actively rush things?

This is just fucked??? Like of COURSE IT MATTERS??? Results based company is bullshit, your employees that worked for five weeks and failed aren't "lesser" then James, it's a structural failure! They still worked for HOURS to try and succeed?? That shows merit and loyalty??? What the fuck???

Rosanna covers this one in her video but it's worth restating that this is FUCKED??? It's clear overwork "your job is your family" culture. Especially the use of the word obsessive? If you do not OBSESS over your work, you are considered poisonous. NO WONDER we have so many reports of employees doing things they feel is dangerous or unsafe, if they don't they're considered POISON to the company.

The formatting in this doc continues to fucking kill me, what are you DOING man GET AN EDITOR

This feels like such an easy fix of just...make the thumbnail after the fact? Or only make a rough draft of one first? Like if production makes a red bouncy castle instead of a yellow one, that feels like an easy fix to the thumbnail OR a communication error, and again, that's on management

A lot of the next stuff is like analytics stuff that for the most part I can't really speak on as someone who does not do any of this stuff. There are a few things though

Which like???? what??? a lull??? what do you mean "watching a video without even realizing they are watching a video??" That doesn't scream good or even mediocre content to me. If I'm actively tuning out as I watch a video, that's bad. Especially because there have been plenty of times I've been like half way through a video i go "hey this sucks actually" and click off. They actively want their audience to not be paying attention to the video so it runs all the way through, that's kinda pathetic.

I don't actually know if this is common or not in this industry, but as an outsider this seems INCREDIBLY micromanaging to me, to an immense degree.

Jimmy why are you putting swears in your employee manual?? sir??? and also something about this whole thing icks me out, I don't quite have the words but the whole emphasis on "im different im special no one else can be me" just reeks of something kind of manipulative

Why is production changing so much Jimmy??? Infinite growth is the mindset of a cancer cell Jimmy! This is incredibly unstable working conditions! Also again with the word obsession, if you take time out of your own day on your own time to watch hulu, that's seen as not being obsessed enough for the company. This is nonsensical!

Again, this is INSANELY micromanaging, and also so fucking unhinged??? "God himself couldn't stop you from making this video on time" is NOT a healthy work mindset, things HAPPEN!!!

In this segment he's actually talking normal things but I did just want to highlight his use of "freaken" who the hell puts that in an EMPLOYEE MANUEL

Again with the micromanaging, and the immense pressure on employees for problems OTHER people do. While he's not fully wrong that you should be in more contact with the contractor then the example, this is too much in the other direction. How much time in the day does he think people have?!

My kingdom for a fucking paragraph break dude, my fucking eyes. Also this is a lot of "im so great and do everything and you should do more for me and if i dont know something that's your fault" for something titled "I am not always right"

I'm getting lazy with my highlighting, but again, the micromanaging? If you're SOOO busy, the first question should be the ideal? it's quick and makes a quick decision, while the second one meanders and meanders

Again, Jimmy is pushing blame for HIS mistakes on OTHER PEOPLE. For again, a section called "i am not always right" hes taking NO accountability for that and just making the SAME excuses he's berating in other places.

I can't even tell what he means here AN EDITOR JIMMY

Autism Hell tm, PLEASE email me so I can DOUBLE CHECK IT, things in writing are SO useful

Again the language towards "C-Players" which as mr beast has said, are the people who y'know, are NORMAL employees who DON'T live and breathe this company

Okay first of all, a Lamborghini is like 300k so that's already A REALLY hard task, and i sure hope don't usually put typos in the tasks. SECOND of all the fact he thinks its okay to go "hey if the studio is literally on fire around you and you stop working to get the Lamborghini, you're not doing good enough" even if he claims it as a joke is NOT OKAY what the FUCK

We've covered this before, but to reiterate this segment is named after a sexual assault reference when it could have been named ANYTHING ELSE and harasses employees and pressures them to break rules, don't do that.

I'm not an editor, so maybe this is normal, but as someone from the outside it seems strange to put this much emphasis on dividing focus between so many videos at once.

Jimmy, hun, are you paying extra for this? Because if I'm an editor and you want me FILMING stuff then i want to be paid more for doing TWO jobs and I probably still wont be as skilled a TRAINED CAMERA MAN

First of all now THAT'S a type, consteatants. Also the fact they are aware that leaving contestants out in the sun is bad, why are you not doing MORE TO STOP IT BEYOND "hey maybe giving them three hours of heatstroke is bad, try only two next time"

Don't we love favoritism, more shitty unprofessional writings, and a completely unstable work environment?

If your people have to pull all nighters period something is wrong, and if something happens to an employees car that could have seriously hurt someone, i sure hope you care more then just "LOL FUNNY" Who's picking up the broken glass? Who's reimbursing the car owner? That one meme of "your first care should be commitment to the bit" is a MEME jimmy, it's not ACTUAL ADVICE

Ah shit I hit image limit, well, you've seen enough screenshots to know these are screenshots, we're almost done I'll put them in as quotes

"Let’s say you are tasked with finding us a castle to live in for 50 hours and while doing research you find a castle and a number to call for the owner. So you do call, and he answers. Only problem is he says he quit the castle renting business to pursue his dream of building a 100 foot tall lego catapult. You can obviously tell where i’m going with this. Ideally you’d recognize that’s badass as fuck and try to convince him to let us use it when we do find a castle. This is a bad example because it’s so obvious but if you’re doing your job right you will be doing an absurd amounts of calls and data collecting. While trying to complete your prios and prepare for the video you should always be on the lookout for new things you can bring to your creative team to inspire them. Because just like me, they don’t know what they don’t know and you can’t just say “i’m in production and i’m not very creative” because that’s literally the equivalent of saying I suck at what I do. You also need to apply this same mindset when problem solving because many people lose sight of this stuff when in the weeds. If a problem appears, always always always ask yourself if your new plan is whats best for creative, not just the easiest bandaid."

First of all it's really funny seeing all the red lines pop up, second of all this insistent blurring of everyone's job seems so strange? Again maybe this is normal, but it really feels like Jimmy wants everyone working every job, instead on focusing on what they are actually hired to do.

"What is the goal of our content?

To excite me. The goal of our content is to excite me. That may sound weird to some of you, especially if you’re new but to me it’s what’s most important. If I'm not excited to get in front of that camera and film the video, it’s just simply not going to happen."

That's fucking weirddddd, like I get that he's trying to be like "im authentic" but it always feels like a bad sign when the goal of a company is literally just "What amuses the boss" like...bad sign

"this is youtube and there are constraints. You know the video can’t be a minute so you’re obviously going to need a story to hold the viewers and there are rules to storytelling. Our audience is massive and because of that you have to be simple, for 50 million people to understand something it must be simple. Content can be anything but there is structure and rules that we must mold it into that I want to teach you about, because virality doesn’t just happen. Every frame of our videos will be seen by 10s of millions of people"

Gross

"I'd say the average MrBeast viewer is a teenage memer that likes video games."

Mr Beast is completely aware of his demographic and puts screen shots of it, he is very aware his stuff is aimed at kids, even when its about gambling or hiring people not around near minors

"I feel silly for having to write this but all the time I talk to 32 new people that have at most seen like 5 or 6 of our videos and it’s mind blowing that they don’t see a problem with that lol."

It's almost like your audience is teenage memer and that people who working here are not in fact, teenage memers.

"What you consume on social media, when you watch youtube, tv, the games you play, etc. are what I like to call your information diet.

How do you stay up to date on the latest memes? How do you know what’s going on with celebrities? What’s trending on youtube? What other creators are doing? What’s popping on tik tok? Your information diet. Consume things on a daily basis that help you write better content."

If my job as a creative writer had my boss tell me to have to see whats "popping on tik tok" as part of my job i'd quit also again, the micromanaging of someone's life as well pops up again, it's weirddd

"It’s okay for the boys to be childish

If talent wants to draw a dick on the white board in the video or do something stupid, let them. (assuming they know all the risks and arn’t missing context on why it’s not safe) People like when we are in our natural element of stupidity. Really do everything you can to empower the boys when filming and help them make content. Help them be idiots"

More favoritism

"If you’ve made it this far you are probably at least semi interested in this being your career. So I wanted to chat about it. Because if you're ambitious and want to dedicate your life to work, you picked the best company in America to do it at. I really don’t care to hoard a bunch of money and I deeply believe in rewarding the people that help this business get where it needs to be. But before I get into that, let’s talk about the future. As I write this we have 2 teams, that will grow to 4 in the next year. (and possibly 8 in the next 2 years but I can’t talk about that cause james will kill me haha). We need more leaders in the company. Weneed hard working, obsessive, coachable, intelligent, grinders that can step up and take some of these leadership spots over the next 2 years. Every single department has an opportunity for you to grow in and you’re in luck because we don’t do yearly reviews. We do whenever the fuck you want reviewes"

Lack of communication from management, and more emphasis on grinding and crunch culture, goodie, all while riddled with typos! God.

"I see a world where this company is worth billions and one day 10s of billions. And those of you that help build this will be rewarded. I want nothing more then for you to go all in, obsessive all day everyday, and become so god dam valuable this company can’t operate without you. And in return for becoming so valuable I hope to give you incredible experiences, a fun place to work, and of course, more money then you could ever dream of making at any other company."

I feel like I'm reading a fucking pyramid scheme document here, "youre so so valuable spend literally every minute of every day on this company haha" good GOD man

[rachetmath]

Remnant Sucks

Deidamia(SOD): Speak human. What do you wish to be destroyed?

Juane All the Grimm.

Deidamia(SOD): Huh.

Jaune: Yes. All the Grimm. Wiped. Destroyed. Cleared off the map. Is there a problem?

Deidamia (SOD): No. In fact I am impressed you would choose that and wonder why.

Jaune: Grimm are deadly creatures. They adapt quickly. And they shouldn't be a problem but-

Deidamia (SOD): Humans?

Jaune: Humans. Absolutely. Like we kind of are the problem.

Ruby: Jaune how can -

Jaune: Ruby a woman- a human woman decided to go against Gods. GODS. Just to get one man back. That led to her being immortal. She then persuaded thousands of warriors. Hunters of the past. Our predecessors to fight off said gods again just because she didn't like what they did to her. All that death by one woman!

Ruby: Um.

Jaune: Then when said man came back into her life, and he saw the monster she became she killed him and probably her daughters. And that was the beginning.

Ruby: …

Jaune: But let's be honest with ourselves, The Grimm only strike when they sense negative emotions. Why is that?

Yang: Who cares why? They're just monsters.

Jaune: You mean the same monsters who knows when to avoid conflict. Can gain enough intelligence to almost become sentient. And the more they learn they become effective killers. I don't think ‘monsters’ are enough words to describe them.

Yang: …

Jaune: And we know why. We are just Creation's creations, we know no longer have anything to do with Destruction. Meaning?

Weiss: Meaning the Grimm are only following the purpose they were made for before our predecessors were born.

Jaune: Which is killing whatever Creation makes.

Ren: And I mean we earn it sometimes and I can't blame them for how fragile the world is.

Blake: I mean -

Ren: Blake before Faunuses we already were divided. And not just by race.

Jaune: Even to this day we have issues and we solve it with mostly violence. Basically the Grimm are just trying to prevent the world from ending again. Or because they were here first and we just started taking shit.

Ruby: Okay I see your point. Once we get rid of the Grimm the world will be at peace.

Nora: Naive child.

Deidamia(SOD): Ignorance.

Ruby: What?

Oscar: Ruby you know once the Grimm are gone there might not be any use for hunters.

Ruby: Not true we can still hold the peace.

Jaune: Yeah, too bad semblances can divide us.

Nora: Like Ruby compared to the average humans, we might as well be freaks. And even if we try, not everyone gets a semblance. Hell a majority of people barely have aura.

Ruby: Damn.

Jaune: And to be more honest, we failed to do our jobs. Like Hazel's sister died because of a teacher's negligence. Cinder turned out the way she is because of poor conditions and no one helped her. We saw hunters who not only failed at their jobs but attempted to sleep with either one of you girls even though they were tasked with guarding a train.

Weiss: Okay besides those amateurs-

Jaune: Those were pros.

Weiss: Who we don't know.

Jaune: So who do we know as failures? Okay, Qrow is a failure. Not because of his semblance but his choices. Man is a damn idiot. He allowed a fall maiden to be on the brink of death and got Clover killed. Why do you think Maria is better than him? James halted the world to make a new tower, only to abandon that idea when Salem arrived. I say his plan was good but our priorities weren’t in order. Like Tyrian, Salem’s minion wasn’t important but Robyn's dumbass Hill was. Why? And Lion sold us out to save his own ass. And who chose them? Ozpin! And don't get started on Goodwitch.

Oobleck: Mr. Arc-

Jaune: Shut the hell up Luigi.

Oscar: He’s not wrong.

Jaune: Basically Ruby we might as well retire cause at the rate we’re going we might as well be the next upcoming villains.

Ruby: F*** you.

Jaune: F*** your mom. Who also died for nothing. Like Pyrrha. At least Penny died saving people.

Blake: Come on guys we-

Nora: Blake, Harriet almost killed thousands of people under Jame’s orders. Hell we almost did that ourselves, remember? Argus? Pyrrha’s home town?

Ren: And Atlas we had way more to do with the situation. Considering we were following team RWBY’s lead.

Yang: Now wait a minute Nora and Ren, we did that for good reasons.

Ren: No, we did that because Weiss was too scared to go home by herself. Or because for some reason a woman is more understandable while a man is just a destructive creature.

Jaune: Again even though said woman is the reason the world ended before.

Oscar: Not to mention we have Emerald. Out of everyone we could have chosen, we chose Cinder's bottom bitch. That's how low we went. No offense.

Emerald: Non taken?

Ruby: Okay. Um. Um-

Jaune: Ruby, let's be honest here. The Grimm are minor compared to our species. Like we have so many isms in our vocabulary it might as well be a disease name in itself for how it affects the minds of humanity.

Weiss: But Jaune -

Jaune: Shut up hell up Atlasian I already got deal with you entitled mother fuckers enough. Especially Mantle, the only mother fuckers worth were the Faunus. And I put that on Adam Taurus.

Adam: *in hell* Finally one human gets it.

Weiss: We're not-

Jaune: James. The Ace-op. And Cordovin. Need I say more.

Deidamia(SOD): He's not wrong. You humans might well be your own worst enemies. Like all you are just… … ew.

Jaune: I know right. We might as well take each other out. It's that simple. I'm just delaying the impossible.

Deidamia(SOD): And with that note being said I will grant you your wish Jaune Arc. Also you-

Jaune: Ozpin told me ahead of time. I will take my chances.

Deidamia(SOD): Good. Bout damn time he did something useful. Considering he had options.

Jaune: Don't get me started.

[evilminji]

The Anti-Ecto Acts... could literally start WW3

I am sitting here, contemplating China. The country. Literally one of THE OLDEST countries. With a truely massive population. And... I will admit my ignorance. But from what I have heard? They are big on honoring the Dead.

Their Dead.

The Dead of China. Hundreds of millions of souls. Which, statistically, would mean the average human ghost has a good chance to come from the region. And they are not alone.

Again, my ignorance curses me, but if my general knowledge is to be believed? It is a common practice in Asianic Countries. Oh sure, they won't argue there might be BAD ghosts. But that's to be expected! There are bad PEOPLE! They die.

They have monks and priests for such things. Specialists. Ancient problem, tried and true solutions. They move on and have lunch, consider what options there are for dinner. Business of the day and all that.

But THEN.

Fanatics from the West. Painting themselves as Men Of Science, not only dare to play god, but tear open a hole to THE AFTERLIFE? And start ATTACKING indiscriminately? They stand before an international stage and spew clearly bigoted pseudoscience, to justify their genocide, while ALSO letting God's and demons run roughshod over the WORLD, just so they can try to convince everyone they have the right to MURDER YOUR ANCESTORS?

They OPENED THAT GATE! They LET THEM OUT! There is a difference, culturally, for many of your countries between the soul of a dead man (powers be damned) and a SPIRIT OF LIVING STORMS.

You are not IDIOTS. Tigers are dangerous. Wolves are dangerous. But someone walking into a crowded mall and releasing frightened wild animals DOES NOT mean we go into the wilds and start killing! We charge the madmen you attacked innocent people!

The fact that tigers and wolves are dangerous IS NOT NEW. The fact that the souls of the dead are dangerous is ALSO not new! It is not malicious. It is INHERENT. A state of being. That is why they are not encouraged to linger! We love them, but this world is not built for them. It is fragile and barren, built for the living.

But dear sweet FUCK, the WROTH.

How? Many countries EXACTLY. How many religions? SPECIFICALLY honor and protect the dead. Declare in no uncertain terms, the SANCTITY of the soul?

How many people have LOST somebody? A friend, a lover, a CHILD.

And in one breath you give them hope then THREATEN it? "They may still be out there... we are going to brutally torture them to death. Because your loved ones are animals to us."

The UN would have the SINGLE most ugly, barely contained, riot imaginable. Spiritual Leaders would be tearing CHUNKS out of the US. The Pope, the Dalai Lama, you name it. You can NOT invade THE AFTERLIFE and not have it IMMEDIATELY become a religious concern.

Not to mention the international SAFETY concern. One countries actions? Unleashing beings that can effect the GLOBAL ECOSYSTEM? The ENTIRE planets weather? Plunged EVERYONE into Eternal Sleep??! How can that not be considered DILBERATE after the first one!

Your grand idea is to ANTAGONIZE them? Make MORE of them come through??

"Kill death itself". You fanatical NUTJOBS! That's not even a NEW hypothetical! That ends HORRIFICLY for literally EVERYONE. Eternal starvation, suffocation, crushing, and worse! We suck the planet dry, over populate so horrifically we end up BURIED UNDER OUR OWN CHILDREN, and suffer FOREVER without the release of death!

You fucking MORONS! Eternal life is a well known CURSE!

Their science is shaky at best, hardly peer reviewed. DEEPLY unethical. And clearly dangerous! Radioactive!!! In a population center?! How many innocent people have been exposed!?

And if the Ghost are reaching OUT? Imagine meeting long dead countrymen, who come to you fearing for their very SOULS. Who have lived in peace. Unknown to you, for CENTURIES. Who beg you, in YOUR native tounge, to help. Talks of people disappearing. Fear and desperation.

This is not to say world leaders are great and benevolent figures, free of greed or sin. Nor their governments. But it is quite another thing entirely, when they talk... and all you can think is "you are talking about my dead father. My late wife. My deceased son."

When they spew their HATE. And back hand your loved ones by doing so.

What powerful person has not lost SOMEBODY.

All this? And I have not even TOUCHED on the shit storm DC would add on top. The Drama? The IMMEDIATE near certain SMITING? You want to MURDER Superman's FAMILY??? I'd say pick a god and pray, but you've already made enemy of ALL of them.

So... good luck and get fucked?

@hdgnj @the-witchhunter @stealingyourbones @nerdpoe

[thenightisland]

in various conversations with my doctor about the insane life changing effect adhd meds have had on me one of the things he said was that it's not uncommon for people who have dysthymia/pervasive depressive disorder to have undiagnosed adhd at the root of the problem. and i think we forget that like. major depressive disorder is supposed to be something that eventually stops. it's episodic. like even people with depression very often are not in a state where it's just like. every day is a misery virtually nonstop for 15+ years. but with dysthymia/pdd it very much so is. which you can have pdd and mdd both at the same time too which is evil but anyway. it is wild enough conceptualizing that there is in fact a difference between the two things bc i very much so got depressed around age ten and just. never stopped. and when you live like that for the bulk of your life you just sort of get used to it? like it sucks but you just assume a degree of that is normal. so even on several antidepressants i never once aimed for "not depressed" i was always aiming for "mildly less miserable" i had just accepted that i would always be a degree of miserable and that my default was going to be feeling bad and if i was very lucky there might be a few days where i felt a little less bad now and then. the goal was "bearable misery" which is nuts to type out like wow! bleak!

anyway something i noticed when they started me on the adhd meds was that all the Racket in my head just. stopped. for weeks i just said to people "it's so quiet in there" because i didn't have dozens of loud competing fast thoughts all the time. and it took a while to pin down why this effect made me less depressed and worked better than literally any antidepressant had. and it's bc it /stopped thoughts/ and when i was depressed the Thoughts did not stop and they were not pleasant ones so i'd get stuck in these awful mental doom spirals and nothing i did would make it stop. and then this medicine made it stop. and it turns out it's much easier to not be sad when your brain doesn't have the Sad Channel turned up to high volume and is forcing you to deal with it clockwork-orange style. bc historically it was like oh god do we really have to do this again do we have to listen to the you will always be alone and unloved and nothing you do will ever be enough and your life will never be fulfilling in any way spiral again?? do we really have to i'm so tired. but now that channel is muted. a lot of channels have been muted. no amount of cbt/dbt techniques or various other therapy tactics had ever managed to mute those channels before.

and it's just insane it's like the thing about how stunned people with chronic pain are to learn that the normal amount of pain for someone to experience on an average day is none. it's just that but emotionally. bc even with the challenges i still have for autism reasons, most days now i'm fine. the emotional pain is zero on an average day. i now understand what people mean when they say "i'm having a bad day" bc there's a difference. but you see. all my days used to be bad. all of them. even the "good" days involved a degree of visceral emotional suffering and dread. and you don't realize how pervasive the bad is until the bad is the exception and not just an ordinary day.

i do not sit around consumed by the same thought patterns and doom spirals and mental quicksand now i'm just going about my day like an ordinary person and it's amazing how much less life /hurts/ and that's the only way i can think to put it is that every day used to hurt and it doesn't hurt now. past-me was incapable of conceptualizing a life where my baseline wasn't "profoundly and painfully sad and aching at all times" i was 100% prepared to just live like that forever!!!! and now if i have a bad day that's all it is an outlier i thought people in movies were just doing a bit when they had a "bad day" and the solution was just have a big piece of cake and cry a little and go to bed early and you'll feel better tomorrow bc i never felt better tomorrow! now i just feel better tomorrow if i have a bad day! most days the emotional pain scale is a 0/10.

like this is so long already but those of you who have been around for a long time you know how nuts this is for me. and i'm a firm believer in everything happens for a reason even bad things and for a few years i've been like huh wonder what the reason is for the whole getting beaten in the head thing though. well. it exacerbated the working memory issues. and it got on my goddamn nerves. so i asked to try this medicine so i could remember to get my soup out of the microwave. and then it fixed all the problems that have plagued me since i was a small child. and now i'm able to conceptualize a day to day life that isn't just Hurting all the time when i once thought i would never do anything but hurt.

[trainsinanime]

People keep trying to explain why the ML fandom is so relatively quiet right now, and I'll be honest: I have no idea. There are parts I get and parts I don't. (Some criticism of the show below the cut)

First of all, the end of season 5 - yeah, I don't think a lot of people dreamed of this particular way to conclude the Gabriel Agreste saga. I get it.

And more in general, the ML fandom has always focused more on potential than the actual show; on the open questions rather than the day-to-day. Season 5 has answered most of these open questions, and most of these in ways that were not super satisfying.

How will Adrien and Marinette get together? — Oh, he just asks her nicely.

What impact will the tension with their secret identities have? — None whatsoever, Ladynoir are just friends now and happy that way.

How will we both reveal the truth about Adrien's father while making it a happy ending for both of them nonetheless? — We won't.

There's been something going with Chloé, who has tried being a hero, sucked at it, backslid, got a little sister who loves her and might show her a better way, where is that going to lead? — She gets deported by her dad.

99% of ML fanfics are reveals, and now many feel the show has taken away the reason to care about that. Not me personally, I'm going to keep writing reveals and all sides of the love square and first kisses until I die. But I get why it's made some people less than fully enthusiastic; why there's less incentive to post theories and head canons than there might have been once. The show took most of the "wonder what happens" points and answered them, and not even in interesting ways most of the time.

Here's my problem with that theory: The finale of season 5 came out in September 2023, almost two years ago. We've discussed all this to hell and back already. And yet the numbers I have access to show a clear decline between 2024 and now. What changed lately?

The only thing I can think of is that season 6 came out, but, like… season 6 is fine? At least as good as seasons 4 and 5 on average. Do people actually dislike the new art style? To me it's better in every way, so I have trouble wrapping my head around that, but it is a take I keep seeing.

A related point I've seen is the idea that the discussion culture about the show has gone to shit, something I actually see in equal amounts both from those who are very critical of the show and those who intensely dislike the strong criticism.

Personally I am more on the second side of this divide (though maybe only 95% instead of 100%): I'm still having a lot of fun with this show no matter what anyone else is saying. But there is valid, potentially even interesting criticism. But also a lot of people who are doing criticism are going "<insert writer name here> sucks and is a lazy hack!", which is usually neither interesting nor fun to engage with. My long-standing policy is that you can safely ignore any hot take that mentions any particular writer by name, and that still feels as true today as it did back when season 3 aired.

Again, we've been having the same discussions since 2023, and it's not like there is a lot of new insight to be had. The angry people have either left the fandom or gotten angrier, the very invested people have stopped talking to them and gotten angry about the anger, and it's all gotten very polarised… but again, this isn't new. This doesn't explain a drop-off between 2024 and 2025. I think.

I'm probably missing something here, I just can't make much sense of it either way. I can find things to point to, but I have trouble forming a coherent theory. How about you all?

(Discussion, including strong disagreement, is absolutely welcome! But as I said, I'll absolutely ignore you if you mention any writer by name.)

[nightcoreandspite]

Here, intersex Soap and Gaz making a fool of himself *toss*

(I'm not intersex, just did research. Feel free to yell at me if I said something egregious, okay enjoy!)

Gaz always thought Soap was an interesting guy. Anyone who willing wears a mohawk must have an interesting life. But when Gaz got to know him better than just the other sergeant in the 141, Soap didn’t seem to have a very interesting life. Perfectly acceptable family life, dedicated to his particular specialties, just an average guy.

However, Gaz could sense something was up. The usually unashamed Soap didn’t like changing in front of people, changing in one of the shower stalls instead. And his posture kinda sucked. Unless he was on a mission, in which case the kit forced you to have good posture, he was bent over. He wasn’t making himself smaller, or at least that wasn’t his goal. Instead, it was the same move Gaz’s sister made when she hit puberty and was ashamed of having boobs.

So, putting those pieces together, maybe Gaz made some assumptions and thought Soap was trans. He had no qualms about it, he was still another guy on his team. However, Gaz may have started giving Soap chocolate the weeks he seemed most testy, thinking he might be on his period. Sure the weeks were in no way regular, but his cycle was probably just fucked from stress.

Soap noticed, rolling his eyes when his friend gave him chocolate yet again. He didn’t connect the dots the same way, instead thinking Gaz was just trying to butter him up for something. Still, free chocolate when he was mad was a nice deal, so he didn’t interrogate it.

They continued this tilted but ultimately harmless cycle, until Gaz and Soap were forced to get ready for a mission with barely any prep time, meaning Soap couldn’t stow away to a shower stall. He steeled his nerves, just hoping Gaz wouldn’t comment, and got changed alongside the other sergeant.

Gaz couldn’t help himself though, and looked. And blinked.

“…you have a dick?” Sure it was pretty small, but, like, that was a cis guy dick. Or, at least, Gaz was pretty sure. He’d hooked up with a trans guy once and his dick looked a bit different, but maybe surgeries were more advanced than back then.

Soap had to pause his quick change because of the absurdity of that statement.

“…of course I have a damn dick what the feck did’ya think I had?”

Gaz had the decency to look sheepish, continuing changing to avoid eye contact.

“Thought you were, like…trans or somethin’. It’s whatever, just ignore me.”

“…We’re talkin’about this when we aren’t gettin’ ready fer a mission.”

“Rog.”

———————

Soap avoided thinking about it during the actual mission, but on the heli ride to and from, he was thinking.

Gaz tried his best to not be paired with Soap on the mission, feeling bad about assuming something so personal and making a fool of himself. But when they made it back to base, he couldn’t avoid the topic, and Soap practically scruffed him to drag him back to their room.

Soap’s pissed-off energy scared whatever other roommates they had to leave, leaving the two by themselves.

“…so?” Soap started, wanting to see what Gaz would say.

“…so…” Gaz really didn’t wanna make Soap even more mad, so was trying to not talk.

They stood in silence for a few moments, before Soap sighed. “What made ya think I was trans?”

“…y’didn’t wanna change in front of us…’nd you were bent over like y’were hidin’ havin’ boobs..?”

Soap sighed. “That it?”

Gaz nodded, really not wanting to be written up for harassment or anything. He should have kept his big mouth shut.

“…well. That wasn’t why I thought y’said that, s’ I’m less pissed. ‘Cause y’aren’t wrong.”

Gaz blinked. “…then how come you have a dick?” Foot, meet mouth, become well acquainted.

“That really what you’re stuck on?”

“Sorry.”

Soap waved him off. “’S whatever. ‘M not trans, but I’m intersex. So I did have boobs. Got ‘em chopped off a while ago, but didn’t break the slouchin’ habit.”

“That’s an actual thing?”

“Garrick are y’gonna stop makin’ a fool of yerself?”

“Sorry, again. God, I suck at this.”

“Y’really do.” Soap couldn’t help a chuckle despite himself. “’M feelin’ generous, so ask some questions.”

“…what exactly’s intersex?”

“It’s way more than jus’ one thing. But the thing I have makes it so I had boobs, a small dick, and have issues growin’ body and facial hair.”

“…oh! Is that why you don’t shave?”

“Yeah. Can barely grow this scruff as it is. Don’ wanna lose it.”

Gaz shuffled his feet, thinking. “…so why didn’t you wanna change in front of us?”

“Thought you’d see my top surgery scars and be rude about it,” Soap remarked with a shrug.

“Nah. Everyone here has scars. ‘Nd I didn’t even care when I thought you were trans, did I?”

“Guess not….while we’re here, what was the chocolate about?”

“…thought y’were on yer period?”

“…Garrick, you are one weird guy, y’know?”

“Hey! This is what I get for bein’ supportive?” Gaz couldn’t help laughing at this point. God, he really needed to not make assumptions.

“I feel very supported, y’numpty. Jus’ don’t assume shit again. Others may not be so nice about you thinking they’re on their period.”

“Sorry. We good?”

“We’re good.”

The two shook hands, and that was that. A weird conversation to be sure, but both were kinder about it that the other thought they’d be. And now Soap had so much blackmail power over Gaz, so it all ended alright.

[fushiglow]

Aaaaaah I loved reading your thoughts on the new sleep token album!!! I love music but I'm not very knowlegeable about it, so getting to read thoughtful and well-informed critique about it is always such a treat, especially from someone who's also a gifted writer like you (looove the fics too)! All of this to say, if the whim ever takes you to talk about music in depth in any capacity, please know I for one will be seated and tuned in! Thank you and have a lovely rest of your day <3

This makes me so happy, ahhhh! Thank you so much, I love talking about music so much, but I haven't done a lot of it on here because... Well, once I start yapping about music, I can't stop!

I've thought about sharing some analysis before, because there are one or two things hidden in the JJK soundtrack that I think fellow fans might be interested in learning about. The problem is, they're pretty difficult to illustrate in writing so I'm not sure how I'd go about it without making a video, which I'm not keen on doing. I really want to talk about the various reappearances of Gojo's leitmotif throughout the season 2 soundtrack, because only last year I became aware that plenty of people aren't even aware why the 'three years of youth' scene hits like a ton of bricks! Ahhh a well-written score supports visual storytelling in ways that most people don't even realise and it makes me froth at the mouth to think about.

I also want to yap about the fact that if you layer Gojo and Sukuna's themes together, the melodies create a counterpoint [please turn to chapter 8 of Over the Threshold]. I would like to think Yoshimasa Terui deliberately composed them to fit together with a view to employing that counterpoint in their one day fight scenes, but it could be coincidence. Artists in general tend to fall into stylistic patterns, but they're more noticeable in music since we've given ourselves a finite number of note and rhythm combinations to work with. Still, the fact you don't even have to transpose the tracks? I am noticing, Yoshimasa Terui.

All that said, I have to temper myself a little (heh. Like tempering a piano. All my friends just rolled their eyes affectionately. Do not get me started on the Well-Tempered Clavier and the harmonic series again. Actually I might talk about this a little in a few Over the Threshold chapters' time perhaps. Doing a great job at tempering myself here!) otherwise I'd never write anything else. I wrote over 2k words about Sleep Token in response to that ask the other day, which @hugbin kindly reminded me could have been 2k words written for chapter 14 instead... (I love bean so much lmao)

So yeah, going into enough depth to ensure it's enjoyable reading for the average person is a big commitment. You can't talk about leitmotifs without first talking about musical motifs and why we use them and how they're constructed (although Over the Threshold readers are already familiar with 'leitmotif' and other music theory terms). Clearly, I already suck at prioritising and stopping once I start, so we'll see! For now, here's my mini HI/PD soundtrack review from 2023 (I never got round to my Shibuya Incident follow up) and my STUNNER yap fest which contains quite a bit of music analysis, but I think that's your lot. Just in case, I guess I'll also create a tag for these posts, suitably named #glo's infodumps!

I'll also reblog @80hd-selkie's gorgeous artwork inspired by my post about STUNNER because I think it's genuinely amazing that it actually moved someone to create (the fact that Selkie specifically drew on the musical analysis for encouragement blows my goddamn mind)! Please also await @detta-pica's incredible upcoming kaiju fic which takes a little bit of inspiration from my aforementioned infodumping about the harmonic series. Music is just maths, guys, and it's really, really cool.

(God, I really cannot shut up, huh? I like music a lot.)

Thanks for the lovely ask, anon, and yet another opportunity to yap yap yap about music! You guys indulge me far too much ♥

[sheryllee]

i think one reason peaks makes people so uncomfortable is that it's a very empathetic show, and it's full of righteous anger, and yet it still... does not 'matter' what kind of person you are when you're a character on it --- which is to say, it does [angel the series vc] MATTER, but being deserving won't save you. no one gets a happy ending because they earn it: no one really gets a 'happy ending', period, or even really any ending at all. everyone just gets, well, life. you'll probably be dealt whatever the most likely fate in your path is if there's nobody there to move you out of it. i think that people incorrectly think the 'goal' of the show was, you know, We Will Stop This From Happening Again. i think that a lot of other people incorrectly think the 'goal' of the show is to basically paint a cynical [and misogynistic] portrait of the world where everything gets worse forever. and it's just... neither of those things? at all? rather, the point is more that we owe it to ourselves to try to make things better for each other. regardless of how hopeless it seems. regardless of what the consequences might be, or even how long it's been. the point is that that's the only power any of us have. there's no room for cynicism in twin peaks: in plenty of the characters, sure, inevitably, but not within the narrative itself. things are constantly happening that shouldn't happen, things there's no excuse for or that just suck. sometimes there's nothing we could have done about them. sometimes there's plenty we could have done, but didn't. sometimes we do everything we can do, and it still all goes to hell --- but that's still a better way to live than just not caring, is the message.

i understand why a lot of people don't like it --- that's normal, i think. it's not usually much fun to watch. it took me several tries, and even then, for a while there, i mostly just bitched about everything. i hated the return the first time i saw it (this being my favorite season by about ten miles). it's triggering as all hell. it's also not remotely rewarding in the same way most things we enjoy are. but i kind of think that is the reward, too: to get to inhabit a world where you have no choice but to be reminded that there are always --- literally, no matter what, always --- completely average People Like Us who are trying, and who will try, and who won't stop trying. who will make you want to try, too. and that really feels like a rare sort of media privilege to me.

[honey-beann]

Okay this might be kind of weird, but could I request some Nines headcannons about how he is with an s/o with long hair? Idk I just feel like he might have particular interactions or things to say about it and I was curious what your take on something likke this might be?

Nines with an S/O who has long hair

Note: Hi Anon! Thanks so much for the request, I had a ton of fun with this! (and as someone with incredibly long hair, it is absolutely not self-serving in the slightest, nuh uh, no way, no how.)

(it definitely is lol).

I hope that you enjoy!

Okay so here's the thing, I know that people might assume that being in a relationship with someone who has long hair is no different than being in a relationship with someone with short/medium length hair, and in a lot of ways, they're absolutely right.

That said, being in a relationship with an android like Nines, who is far more observant than the average man, and a lot more curious about the human body and all of its particular intricacies, would definitely mean that he's more interested in/aware of the subtle impacts that hair lengths and the ways they are managed can have on life style.

For example, I think he would find it interesting how much more upkeep longer hair can require (though this also depends on texture), the increased frequency with which it seems to shed or fall out, and of course, the vast number of styling techniques and designs that can be used on longer hair.

He definitely likes to touch it a lot, and may even offer to brush it for you or help you to style it in some particular way (though there is a 90% chance that you'll have to ask him to so he doesn't risk letting you know how much he likes the feeling of it beneath his fingertips).

Absolutely will braid your hair though, and he always gets the sectioning even, so that's a huge plus.

That said, he will never cease to tease you about how inconvenient your hair can be at times.

If he ever sees you pull a hair out of your food, or find one essentially threaded into a garment of yours (or his), he will immediately remind you of your choice to wear your hair as long as you do (and you can't even argue that it isn't yours with him, because he's already scanned it to prove otherwise).

If you have any form of hair care routine outside of showering, he loves to watch you go through it, eyes both curious and amused at the same time as he takes in your techniques and learns why you utilize them.

If you don't do anything outside of the shower though, don't fret, because he is a big fan of shampooing your hair if you'll let him, and he will never fail to let you know if you should still be rinsing anything out.

"There's still shampoo on your roots" as you walk out of the bathroom, prompting you to simply turn around and start the shower up again with a sigh.

Can and will scan your hair products for bad ingredients and let you know how unwise it is to use them (though he sucks at giving positive feedback in that area, so if you want to know what might be good, you would probably have to ask him directly).

"That is going to dry out your hair."

"That isn't for your hair type."

"Reviews state that this makes consumers' hair fall out after a few weeks of use."

"There is a known carcinogen in that hair mask."

Bro is relentless in his product complaints (but it's only because he cares about the health of both you and your hair lol).

He definitely doesn't quite understand why anyone would choose to keep their hair so long if it can make caring for it so much more complex, but he certainly doesn't mind it as long as you keep letting him entertain himself by playing with it or helping you to try out new/different styles.

Oh, but regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship with him, if you work together, he absolutely loathes your long hair (at least some of the time).

Definitely thinks that it gets in the way far too often and that it's annoying that you have to take the time to put it up just to keep it away from your face during the work day.

Has absolutely been smacked with your hair before while standing behind you without you realizing.

Cannot stand it when you wine about the heat while choosing to have so much hair trapping warmth in against the back of your neck.

Has absolutely contemplated cutting it off himself before.

Becomes rather amused at watching you attempt to de-tangle it after a particularly rigorous chase or anything similar, and thinks of it as karma for you choosing to have longer hair in a field like law enforcement.

(Secretly likes finding your hairs on his work chair after you've sat in it though, and was weirdly endured when he found a hair of yours stuck to his jacket for the first time).

masterlist

AO3

[throwing-roses-into-the-abyss]

okay I have had some sleep (and did some exercising last night and yes I am very annoyed at how once again it turns out exercising is fun and good for you and makes you feel good) and am still thinking about the yeosang situation so here are some thoughts that will probably get me hate lol

I just think many things can be true at once:

-lemon drop is a fun and addictive song and we can and should support the whole group and album (to whatever extent you want/can support them - if you don't like the song that's fine too! it happens!)

-yeosang did not get the amount of lines he deserves. I don't know how many that is, but it should be more than the kq intro at least, like come on now

-wooyoung and yeosang both consistently get overlooked/ignored and don't get the amount of singing in title tracks - or, apparently, overall across albums - as they imo should. this is a problem. they are singers, why aren't they singing, especially in title tracks.

-I do NOT think all members of a group should get a perfectly split amount of lines. it's okay if it varies from song to song and cb to cb, but I do think the average should at least somewhat even out, which it does not for ateez.

-yeosang did look despondent and barely participated in the fan chant video. this COULD mean he hates the song/the album/his life. it could also mean they've been filming there for hours (I've seen, what, 3? 4? videos already in the same outfits and the same space so they clearly bulk filmed) and he's tired. maybe he just had some bad news. maybe there was an argument that went unresolved for a bit because of filming. maybe he just didn't feel very well that day. we don't know what goes on behind the scenes.

-yeosang loves working out and being beefy. he loves it a LOT. kq has banned him from it before, and I wouldn't be surprised if they do it again, even if this latest ban is unverified. here too several things can be true at once: kq might ban him from working out because they don't want him to be too masculine to keep the image of him they want. the muscles can get in the way of dancing properly. I do wonder if there's another side to this that we would never hear from yeosang himself: I wonder if yeosang gets too obsessive with it, and sometimes has to be stopped for his own good. I'm thinking about him being a walking pharmacy, seemingly living off of chicken and rice and supplements, being worried about muscle loss when he has to take medication for being sick and can't work out for one or two days, and how insanely quickly he bulked up over the span of just a few months. is it good to fully ban him IF this is the case? lol no. but this is a potential side of things we would never hear from anyone. also for all we know this could very well be a case of kq saying "hey maybe you should take it easy for a bit? you seem to be taking it a bit far" and yeosang reacting with "I am BANNED for LIFE this fucking SUCKS >:( WORKOUT IS LIFE" (plus this ties into my thoughts about him having autism and working out being a hyperfixation/special interest but that's a whole separate can of worms I'm not opening right now)

-also a quick sidenote but for the people saying it's insane kq controls his body like that: this is not only incredibly common in kpop, banning an idol from working out is like, one of the least worrying things a company can do to an idol's body. people have had plastic surgery practically forced on them (sm entertainment is notorious for this). people get put on the most atrocious diets (see: momo's ice cube diet). ateez are comparatively incredibly free and well treated.

-atinys are an incredibly passionate and protective fandom that regularly crosses over into being hotheaded and impulsive. I don't think we should be sending trucks based on his facial expressions in one (1) video, lines in a song, and a single unverified tweet. is there something going when you look at it all together? yeah I do think so, but I also think we should maybe have a little bit more verified information. like maybe a video recording of the fancall.

-also while I'm talking about atinys, don't forget we're very much part of the problem here: remember how during europe tour yeosang didn't get picked as leader of the day (or whatever that section was called, I forgot) until almost the end of the tour? yeah. we can't keep shouting about mistreatment while also consistently favouring other people over him.

-but most importantly: yeosang is a whole almost-26 years old in international age. he's a grown adult who's been a professional in his career for 7 years and a trainee before that. if there's really something wrong, it's up to him to speak up about it. he is not, in fact, our baby, and it's not our responsibility to speak up for him, especially when we don't know the full situation. yes he's timid and it's hard for him to speak up. doesn't mean he can't and shouldn't. it's part of being an adult to speak up anyway.

-we should also trust ateez as a group to discuss it among themselves if something's wrong with a member. we know they sit down to talk about grievances/annoyances/worries/etc, let's trust that if something's up with yeosang they're doing this now, too.

now I am still a new atiny, I have been here for just over 4 months, this is my first comeback with them (but not my first kpop cb in general) and there's much I don't know or got wrong. but I do also know there's insane amounts of misinformation floating around in this fandom, and while I don't think we should always just stay quiet and do nothing, we should also collectively wait maybe just a few more days to see what other information pops up. and maybe cool it on the protest trucks until then.

(I have no thoughts on eden's role in this because. uh. I just don't lol. also tbh I think this too should be part of yeosang/the group speaking up about it behind the scenes)

[yandere-fics]

Sir Raphael

♡ "Forgive me Dear Sunflower, you leave me speechless every time I see you." ♡

She's a worshipping yandere, you are the best thing to happen to her and a beast like her is truly unworthy of such a soothing presence in her life, that doesn't mean she will let you go however, while she acknowledges she has spilled too much blood to be worthy of standing near you, she is also quite jealous and very willing to spill again. Not to mention if she is a pest in your presence, anyone else is an insect who must be crushed. If she feels you drifting she will manipulate the court in any way she needs to, in order to bring who back towards her.

♡ "Call me Raffie, Dear Sunflower. It would be disgrace to have you refer to me formally." ♡

Her name is Raphael and she doesn't come from any noble family despite having been on the council of royal advisors for the last three generations. If you must refer to her formally then calling her Sir will make her blush and sputter.

♡ "I've been alive the last two centuries Dearest Sunflower, it's a tad hard to speak in definitives, especially when you ask such a question so close to my face." ♡

She's 210, she was there for the succession war but did not get involved, mostly because no one asked for her aid. No one in the kingdom even asks why she's still around anymore, she's just assumed as an average part of life. She roughly stopped aging at 31.

♡ "I have a fondness for the company of women, sadly none till you have been able to meet my... taste." ♡

She's a lesbian and everyone she's dated has had gross blood.

♡ "I'm one of the Crown Princess's closest advisors on the council, at times when she is away she expects me to know what she would like done." ♡

To be exact she is the lead advisor, she has seen how previous kings have fallen flat and makes sure Theanna has as much knowledge as she possibly can to avoid their fates.

♡ "I enjoy a nice stroll in the evening hours, perhaps a walk in the gardens when the Princess feels generous enough to allow me a stroll, sadly those strolls mean nothing if I don't have a companion with me, how about we remedy this issue?" ♡

She can walk in the sunlight however it weakens her and she feels faint and must feast afterwards to recuperate.

♡ "I despise those who would dare to not know where their place is, it irks me truly when those flies approach My Dearest Sunflower." ♡\

She also doesn't like parties very much because too many people try to suck up to her and her darling to get favors.

♡ "I'm particularly good at sniffing out which members of our court might cause extra... issues. Would you like me to tell you everyone who it would behoove you not to cohort yourself with?" ♡

She's skilled at reading people which is how she managed to come from nothing and attain such a high position amongst the kings for two centuries. She also has a very good nose and can tell who has good blood without ever biting or spilling their blood.

♡ "It truly is magnificent that I am able to be at your side, I adore you more than it is possible for you to know, you need not reciprocate, it is more than enough to be at your side Sunflower." ♡

[cressthebest]

i want to start this out by saying that if this ask is something that you are not comfortable answering or talking about please don’t answer it bc some of this might be a little personal.

i saw in one of your posts about you being ex-catholic and i was curious about that. i’m a catholic person that goes to a catholic school, in a catholic town, with a catholic family. i’ve been really thinking about being catholic recently and my problems with it. i was wondering if you could share a little of your experience with me? again if this is too personal please ignore i don’t want to pry into your life.

i promise i wasn’t ignoring this, i just suck at answering asks 😔 which is unfortunate because i love receiving asks and talking about myself

and i have no concept of person space/personal questions, so honestly it’s all chill

but my experience honestly only got worse with time. when i was little, things were more fun, as things typically are when you’re young. i was always bored in church, but i liked wearing pretty dresses and singing the songs. this post will go over a lot of uncomfortable topics and will be quite personal. you’ve been warned. blep. 👁️👅👁️

the first step, which is ignored for a long time was drumroll …. masturbation. i didn’t learn about it from books or fanfic or porn or anything. i was just a kid (maybe 13) and figuring out my body, which included being curious about why touching down there in certain ways felt good. once i realized what it was and that it was a sin, i started to struggle a lot. 1. it felt good and i didn’t want to stop feeling good in that way. 2. but it’s a sin and god did not approve.

for non-catholics reading, in catholicism we do something called confession. it’s where we go to a priest and tell him all our sins. the priest acts as god, and when you tell him this, it’s basically telling god. he then forgives you and gives you a penance, which is typically just a set of prayers to say. and they’re NOT ALLOWED to tell anyone else your sins.

well i was a regular confession attendee, but i could never bear to tell the priest that i had masturbated. lots of times i would cry after masturbating and was worried about going to hell, because i wasn’t stopping. i couldn’t figure out how to abstain from this habit (that quite frankly i didn’t even indulge in very much). lots of tears and fear associated with something that is supposed to feel good.

i can’t remember if i eventually resolved that i wouldn’t stop even tho it was a sin, or if i struggled with this up until i stopped believing in general.

it honestly started to go downhill the most once covid hit. (i was about 14) school closed, and so my mother decided that her kids (all six of us) would be homeschooled from now on. the homeschooling was the second step. she decided it would be best for our family to be catholic homeschooled. all of our books were Seton Homeschooling. any catholic homeschooler has probably heard of this program, even if they never used it. this program taught me a hella lot more about the faith. and me being autistic, this definitely became a hyperfixation. i learned a lot tbh. i probably know more about catholicism than the average practicing catholic.

knowing a lot about the faith caused me to find lots of weird “plot holes” and lots of contradictions. my faith was beginning to waiver, but i was learning everything i could about the faith, trying to answer my questions. honestly, i was starting to lose my grip on the faith.

covid being covid, this was the time i started to discover my sexuality. asexuality came first. it was a struggle to come to terms with, but i found out that there were gay people who were still catholic and i found temporary comfort in that community. i determined that my asexuality was actually a blessing from god. (he gave it to me because if i wasn’t asexual, i probably would have had sex before marriage because i love so fiercely and fully. so he gave asexuality to me so i could prevent myself from the sin of premarital sex. looking back, i think that’s a load of bullshit considering i’m actually demisexual lmao)

but then i had a ✨bi awakening✨which coincidentally took place in a church. a very pretty girl passed me in church and i forgot how to breathe lol. anyways, i left that church knowing something new about me. by the end of the week, i was thinking of myself as bi. i actually started dating this girl a few months later. funny enough, i felt like god had blessed our relationship and didn’t condemn it, simply because he allowed me to meet a girl named MARY in his CHURCH. so u felt like our relationship wasn’t a sin. she was catholic as well. we were quite the pair.

at this point, i was grasping at threads trying to find a reason to still be catholic. the next big incident snapped the thread. my best freind (catholic) told me that my relationship with mary was a sin and she couldn’t support it. i hung up with her lol. she called back and i said i’d only stay on the phone if she wasn’t mean. she proceeded to pull out a script she wrote to tell me how this was a sin and the guilty feelings i was having was because deep down i knew it was a sin. (it was just internalized homophobia). i hung up again. she texted me a long script and said i was going to hell. i blocked her.

here’s the part where the issue unfolds. she told her mom the situation, and her mom called my mom. she outed me to my mother. that night, not only did i lose my best friend and my girlfriend, but also any sense of comfort i felt in my house for about three years. (don’t worry for my safety. mother took away lots of my privileges such as internet, friends coming over, me being able to text most of my friends, going to my friend’s places, sleepovers, etc. but it was never unsafe for me) but that incident was probably the final drop that made the bucket overflow. i stopped believing in god sometime after that.

my loss of faith and discovery of sexuality are tied together and i cannot separate those journeys. however, i do believe that even without a sexuality discovery, i would have realized i didn’t believe in catholicism any more.

knowing as much as i did about catholicism, combined with my firm-proof-needing autism, and my sexuality discovery, all led me to lose the faith. after leaving it, i began to despise it, while also feeling guilty. it took many years to become okay with no longer being catholic.

though i would also like to note that even the catholic institution is quite corrupt and i hate organized church, i don’t hate people for being catholic. it makes me wary at first, but catholicism and god are not the issues. i don’t hate on people for being catholic or believing, nor do i want to belittle their faith. however, i feel like the catholic community is corrupt.

i don’t want to encourage you in either direction. do what’s best for you and what would help you be the best person and most happy in your life. i encourage you to question things and be curious about the faith. it might make your faith stronger, and you will be happy you did it, or you will realize this isn’t something you want to spend time on anymore. it’s up to you. and it may take YEARS to figure out. be kind to yourself and to others, and i guarantee it will be okay. no matter what you discover, you’ll have a community waiting for you.

as an end note, i’d like to add that you can ask any follow up questions you please. i’m willing to answer anything. if you require clarification on anything, just shoot an ask. i am aware that i wrote this while very sick with strep and honestly some of this might not make sense.

[rwby-is-the-best]

thinking about how differently ruby's life could have been had she not gone to beacon two years early

she was a prodigy & moving two years ahead she was still mostly above average in fighting skill (i think), so back in signal she might get to pyrrha nikos levels of skill. and she'd still have all her mysterious signal friends, of which I'm guessing there are at least four (she'd been going there for a while, probably long enough to outweigh the awkwardness?) and signal doesn't assign teams so she might have a bunch of friends she could work not quite as well with but more people overall to keep in touch with after the fall of beacon. since signal is more of a high school than a university, there's probably more locals going there than out-of-country students, and i got the feeling patch was pretty close to it since both tai and qrow taught there, so after communication is down, ruby would still be able to meet with most of her friends.

i think if ruby didn't use her silver eyes, qrow wouldn't have broken the news about everything to her unless he really thought they were already halfway to the endgame. instead he'd focus on training both his nieces and prepare them for what's coming as best as he could.

I don't think yang would ride out looking for her mom if ruby is still there, due to the responsibility of looking after ruby and also a big part of why she found raven was just to get to ruby, so maybe instead they'd set out together with a route that stops through every town they have a friend in, and they check up on as many friends as possible and they distribute supplies and messages and accumulate team members that way, until they inevitably get sucked into the ozpin problems again.

or maybe they stay at the house, qrow running around picking up intel and arguing with raven while tai pushes up his sleeves and goes back to teaching. ruby goes to school. yang misses her friends. she might try teaching at signal, but her unresolved inner turmoil would make it not go well. no, they'd have to set out eventually.

maybe after a long trip of uncovering secrets and finding people, ruby and yang hug each other and then go their separate ways, yang getting her team(s) together (not forgetting JNPR) (hahah maybe weiss successfully got to pyrrha this time and it's team PWBY) (ozpin would not make pyrrha leader. or weiss. BWPY, pronounced blupee) and ruby working with her network of undergrad huntresses, both groups chasing down different ends of the Lore until they're united again, both groups stronger than before but also irreversibly changed. i feel like the beacon + white fang gang could handle the haven academy finale without ruby, and then ruby and co could take down the leviathan or something, and then both groups work together in atlas to evacuate everyone but people still fall and there's still volume 9.

would ruby still be under so much pressure if she hadn't gone to beacon? would the weight of leading all those students and having silver eyes still weigh as much if she'd had more time to be a kid? to make mistakes? she'd still have that following-in-her-mom's-footsteps-a-little-too-closely problem, which is a pretty big one. but with more time with normaller knees, with tai and qrow preparing her as best as they can...

she might still be doomed even then

[puff-mmd]

i never wrote this down, i thought i hadfdesgdfhfthgj

there's two particular guys (besides yakumo) that i thought of from kaisei's past relationships

im always so wishy washy on names unless it feels like some holy divination that comes to me or someone suggests a name and i'm like "yeah i'll take it"

one of them is named d'avon and the other is god i cant remember what i settled on but i think it was kim woo jeok? is that even a possible name, idk

its not but kim woo seok is (also a famous person but idk him)

d'avon was a very sweet guy, he and kaisei got along really well and he was probably the closest to a long-lasting relationship that kaisei had before ciro. the reason they broke up was that kaisei was starting to get a lot more popular and by extension busier, but also more bothered by people in general. d'avon was a very "keep to himself" kind of guy, and while he loved kaisei, he didn't like all the extra attention (there were probably people who claimed to be fans of kaisei ragging on him having a boyfriend)

which side tangent, there's definitely still people who are like "what do you mean kaisei has a bf??? who is ciro, we hate him, kaisei is for US"

but they usually get drowned out by people who are fans of ciro's and are just Normal about them. kaisei has also learned to ignore a lot of the negative comments like that, it used to be difficult for him when he was with d'avon.

like i don't think about this often, but like, kaisei really used to just be Some Guy before he was picked up silve's modeling agency. he didn't have aspirations to become a model or famous, he is just a personable guy with a pretty face, and people liked that. he got started with little streams online, but that probably wouldn't have taken off the way it did if he didn't also get the modeling deal with silve. he had some people who watched him play video games or chat with friends, but it was a pretty lowkey thing (like 25-50 viewers average).

after he started modeling and his face began to pop up in other places, people got curious about who he was. after finding out he was just a pretty normal guy with a fun personality, people just gravitated towards him and decided to be fans.

(I cant believe it deleted all my stuff about d'avon dsgfthfgj)

Anyways, kaisei probably met d'avon at a bar or something, and they got along bonding over video games, and they do play together often after getting each other's handles. After some time, they probably decide to date because why not, they both are into guys and get along really well. They are a really cute couple, it's kind of a shame they didn't work out...

I think the dealbreaker for d'avon is that one of kaisei's "fans" finds out about him and takes things too far - showing up at his job and harrassing him. The fan gets in trouble, but d'avon is pretty upset about it and even though they really like each other, kaisei doesn't want d'avon to feel unsafe being with him. He wants him to be happy, and not worry about things like that happening again.

D'avon's appearance is a darker complexion (not as dark as wren's, but in that same realm), and he has medium length braids that he sometimes ties back with a hairtie. I can see him wearing glasses, but idk. He's a little taller than kaisei, and dresses pretty casual. As far as his 'thing' (like oni, animal spirit, yuurei, kappa, etc), i haven't quite figured that out yet. I know he works at some kind of hardware or mechanic store. He has calloused hands and is a hard worker, and i think that makes him attactive to kaisei too. He likes the rough hands-

Damn now i feel worse that things didn't work out, but also i love ciro so much, sorry d'avon. You are a good guy, and I hope you find happiness.

Okay so now the other guy, kim woo seok.

This guy fucking sucks lmao. He is a fellow model that kaisei meets through one of his gigs. I think this might actually be Kaisei's last relationship before meeting ciro and having that whole thing going on, which as it goes, kind of sets up why kaisei is so sensitive to the misconception that ciro is dating a girl 💀

So this guy, I also don't know what his deal is, but appearance wise, he is a lot taller than kaisei (for context, kaisei is 5'6, d'avon is 5'8, and woo seok is like, 6'0 ir 6'1. Much taller than him). Unfortunately, this guy uses that as a power thing over kaisei. He is very attractive, shaggy black hair with bleached ends, dark gray eyes, and a killer smile. He is also a lot more popular than kaisei when they meet, so he is a bit star struck by this hot guy that shows interest in him. He also ends up using this as a power thing over kaisei, like he knows the poor thing is into him and wants to be recognized by a (seemingly) nice and pretty man, and he uses that to his advantage.

At first, woo seok is pretty forward with the whole "you're cute, i'm into you, we should date" thing, and kaisei gets swept up by it. He seems pretty normal, they go on dates and such, but kaisei often feels like its on woo seok's terms (we can only go out these days, don't contact me at these times, i'm very busy etc etc), but kaisei tries not to think about it too hard. He must be really busy after all, he's more sought after for modeling gigs, and hell, maybe he has other stuff going on - maybe he's an artist, or a singer, or something else and kaisei is just grateful to be able to spend any time with such an impressive person.

The other thing when I say woo seok uses his status and physical prowess over kaisei is like, he kinda. Forces kaisei into some of his kinks. Like he enjoys seeing others beneath him in a way, and persuades kaisei to dress up very femininely when they hang out and do things he probably...doesn't actually want to do (like bondage and stuff like that - kaisei is not into that stuff, and had some bad experiences previously with yakumo about it, but....he wants woo seok to like him, so he agrees to do things even though he's uncomfortable with it. Kaisei's people pleaser coming out in full force for this piece of shit smh).

Like tbh, he's pretty gross. And this isn't even the worst of what he's done. He dates kaisei for a while, like 2-3 months, but then on woo seok's birthday kaisei decides to surprise him with a visit (and birthday presents), even though he told him not to that day. Kaisei visits him pretty late, figuring whatever woo seok was busy with, he must be done by now, right? And why wouldn't he want to see his boyfriend on his birthday?

He shows up at woo seok's apartment, he has the presents, a little sweet treat that he knows is his favorite, and knowing kaisei and his desire to please, probably some kind of cute lingerie underneath because of course he would. He is all excited when he rings the doorbell, thinking he's going to be a nice surprise for his boyfriend, and then.

Just. Some girl opens the door. The same girl he's seen in a photo frame on woo seok's nightstand. The girl kaisei had asked about and was told not to worry, it's just his sister. Or did he say cousin?

Either way, this girl was standing in the doorway, probably naked underneath the blanket. And in that moment, all the pieces that kaisei had been trying so hard to ignore fell into place right in front of his eyes, and when he saw woo seok come around from behind, it was one of the rare moments kaisei just falls apart. It takes everything in him not to throw the things in his hands to the ground, and he can't even come up with something to say. He is almost in tears, but he manages out a "i fucking trusted you", before turning around and leaving.

Honestly, he fights the urge to throw out the gifts, but he spent a good amount of money on the stuff, and even in anger he refuses to waste things.

He might actually end up donating the gifts later and sharing the food with his roommate after she comes to pick him up somewhere because he was too upset and just like, sat by the side of the road crying somewhere.

He obviously cuts woo seok off, and if it had just been the cheating, kaisei would have been pissed, but have let it go as one hell of a failed relationship. For example, look at yakumo (who his situation is different, but still).

It was the cheating, it was the sneaking and lying and degrading veiled as playful flirting, and it was the gross overstepping of boundaries that makes kaisei talk to silve about him. Woo seok doesn't work for silve, but im sure he knows who his angency or even manager is, and kaisei fucking lays it all out because he does not want anyone else to be used and fucked over in the way he was. There was no prior friendship, there was no sympathy for a shitty upbringing, woo seok received every bit of kaisei's rage for what he'd done, and he was going to make sure it ruined him from ever being able to manipulate another poor guy or girl or anyone in between ever again.

Kaisei very rarely gets that vicious, but woo seok found the right combination to really set him off.

Spits on him

Fuck woo seok.

Anyways yeah that's some of kaisei's exes because im nosey and love thinking about kaisei's past love life <3

[disablednotdifferent]

Hello Friends!

it is I, Orion. It has been a while since I have checked in with you all, and I am so sorry for that! However, I do have a reason.

Just today, I found out that i have covid. I am currently writing this post curled up in bed, fighting off Nyquil because I do not want to sleep. I have been sick for a few days now, but JUST tested positive for covid today. This is my 5th or 6th time getting covid, so while I’m used to this, it still is awful.

The kicker is, covid affects me differently than most people because of my chronic illness/pain.

So you might be asking, “Orion, How does it affect you differently ?? I thought everyone got sick the same way!” Dear reader, I am glad you asked! Here is a list of 4 things that happen to me when I get covid, and why this is my actual living nightmare right now.

1. My Pain

Because I have covid, my tolerance for pain has decreased, while my pain has skyrocketed. This means it’s very difficult for me to get around, and especially makes going up and down my stairs hurt more than it usually does.

2. The Length

Most folks only get sick for a few days, normally averaging somewhere between 4-6 days ill. However, for me, I can be sick for up to two weeks, sometimes even longer. Last time I had covid, I was sick for a week and a half. I have no clue how long this time will last, but I will keep you updated!

3. My Symptoms

Like a lot of other chronically ill persons, covid symptoms tend to stay with us for up to a month after we get over covid. This means my cough, runny nose, and terrible headache can last for a long long time, even after I’ve tested negative more than once.

4. My Fever

Yes, technically a fever falls under symptoms, but I’m also giving it it’s own section for a reason. At the moment, I’m in a pain flare up, which already causes me to have a low fever pretty often. With Covid, this fever can possibly shoot up to 102* F (38.3* C), or sometimes even higher. Once, I got up to a 105* F (41.1* C), and I had to take a lovely trip to the emergency room that day.

So, with all of those and more combined, what do I do to stay safe and comfortable during these nightmare-ish times ? I’m glad you asked!

1. Stay hydrated

Currently, I keep a big water bottle full of water with electrolytes in it next to me while I’m in bed, to make sure I stay as hydrated as possible. It helps that the electrolytes are flavored to be lemon, which is a flavor I quite enjoy, especially when I’m sick.

2. Stay Cozy

I will admit, I have not changed out of pajamas and a hoodie all day today. I like to stay comfortable when I’m in pain & very sick, and so I usually end up rotating the same several pajamas (washing the ones I’m not wearing if I’m able to get up) to make sure I stay in clothes that I like.

3. Wait it out

This one is my least favorite. No matter how comfortable or hydrated I am, in the end, I have to just wait it out until I feel better. This part sucks, as I’m in pain and violently sick, etc etc. But, at the end of the day, time will eventually be on my side, and hopefully this will go away shortly.

So again, I apologize for my lack of posts. Covid kicks my butt every time!

I will hopefully be able to keep up with posting a little more consistently once I’m over this, but until then, I am giving into my nyquil, and giving up on staying awake.

Lots of Love!

~Disabled not Different

(QUESTION OF THE POST!

What are some things you do to take care of yourself when you’re sick? Let me know!)

[thefourfan]

sorry for sending a uh message again but

i feel like animaticlock is dying or som???

it doesn't hzve a lot of content for it/about it anymore

i feel like this is due to people just getting tired of the ship of hyperfixating on different things, like im obsessed with gravity falls rn. But I still somewhat like animaticlock?

idk it just doesn't make me as happy as it used to..

and it's rlly a shame cause i like both shows but im really just getting tired of it

same with the shows,,,, but that's only because i rewatched them too much lol

its a shame the ship is dying tbh

me when the when

random but

yapper x listener ahh gif 😭😭🙏🙏

Yeah I've been noticing that too...

It's been frustrating me a little bit because I still very much have a hyperfixation on the ship and it's been becoming increasingly harder to find new content of it 😭

Ofc, people can move on from Animaticlock if they want, it's their accounts and they can do whatever makes them happy but MAN I'm starving out here ×_×

I've also noticed that whenever people do post stuff for the ship now, it gets significantly less attention than it did back in June.

I calculated some statistics to see what the average number of notes for posts under the Animaticlock tag during this month so far are compared to the first 12 days of June:

Average for August: 14 notes

Number of August posts: 17

Average for June: 92 notes

Number of June posts: 18

Surprisingly the number of posts in the first 12 days of these two months were about the same, but as I suspected, the attention these posts received significantly declined. Keep in mind that these time periods are only 2 months apart from one another!

Aninaticlock is absolutely on a decline right now, which sucks for everyone who's still hooked on the ship but I think we should've seen this coming:

I agree with you, I think people are getting tired of it, and I think I might know the reason why. Animaticlock is a crosship, and thing with crosships is that they, in almost all circumstances, NEVER get any sort of canon interactions. While we did get two crossover videos involving the actual voice actors, this videos aren't canonical. While some people can will through that and stay fully invested in a ship like that, a lot of people can't. A lot of people need at least some sort of canon interaction to keep them excited in the ship because it makes it way easier to see exactly what their dynamic is like.

Animaticlock is special in the way that it managed to become a popular ship at all despite this. However, it was still unlikely that most shippers would continue to be as into the ship as they were when they first got hooked on it because of what I explained about crosships earlier (plus other reasons like getting new interests/hyperfixations that pull them away from it), so it was nearly guaranteed to have a decline, and that's exactly what's happening right now.

I'll still continue to make more Animaticlock stuff despite this tho, dw lol I'm not done with the ship yet

Also I literally love that GIF sm it's so SILLY ^_^