#and atp i just want to know if it is that bc if so i need to be more aware of stroke risks and stuff
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blue-jisungs · 2 days ago
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ancient runes and sea creatures
summary. leehan ends up in his worst nightmare - getting the perfect student into trouble
au. hogwarts!!!! ravenclaw!reader x hufflepuff!leehan
word count. 4722 (got a lil too carried away... )
warnings , extras. leehan is intimidated by reader ?? but in a like. impressed way?? also reader is a head girl prefect!!. a slightly suggestive implication at one point but like, its misinterpreted ++ a bunch of hogwart lingo and lore (?). use od leehans real name. mention of a creature that eats humans
author's note. a biiig thank u to @slytherinshua and @gluion for pushing me out of my writers block w this one!!! and esp moni, who tbh came up w this plot!!! i hhope u like it!!! it kinda took a self-indulent route for me (ancient runes as chinese characters haha... haha... and leehan being a mid student w niche hobbies vs the perfect student yn who! shocker! likes! studying... hahah....ha.....) ANYWHO. also love u to death @l3visbby for proofreading!! where would i be w/o u atp....
also i wanted to post one last thing in 2024!!! so i hope u enjoy it and get ready bc ive been cooking <3
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leehan fixed his glasses, fingers brushing against the coarse pages of his favorite book. then, he glanced at his notebook. filled from top to bottom with neat, medium sized, handwritten text. here and there were loose sketches and photographs attached with fish shaped paper clips.
the hufflepuff boy looked up at his gryffindor friends - jaehyun and woonhak. they were chatting about something loudly, the sound of their voices blending in with the noise in the corridor. 
sunlight peeked from behind the windows leehan was leaning against, making him feel even more indulged in his own world. 
“we’ll keep going. don’t wanna be late for potions!” jaehyun suddenly announced in his ear and ruffled his hair “see you, donghyun!” 
he just smiled in return, woonhak having goodbye. 
before returning to his book, he let out a small sigh and started looking at the students passing him by. a lot of friends giggling and talking, some people studying or snacking on colorful candy. 
then, as if a lightning struck him, he tensed upon noticing you. 
you were walking with fast pace yet not hurried one. the navy and grey colored tie rustled on the wind, your hair waving gently. a small frown was painting on your graceful features.
“what do you mean sungho is not showing up? i need everyone there” you asked, glancing at your ravenclaw friend for explanation. however, they did not have any. 
“no idea, y/n! he just told me to tell you and wandered off
 you have to–” they started. 
“i don’t have to do anything. we have to cooperate if we want everything work out” with a scoff, you turned your gaze away and locked eyes with leehan for a mere moment. 
he felt blood rushing to his cheeks, quickly glancing down at his book. you looked scary. no, intimidating. 
“this thing isn’t here by accident” you gently tapped your head girl badge with pride. “let’s go to class now. i’ll catch sungho later” 
leehan didn’t even realize he was holding in a breath - only when the sound of your voice faded away, he released it. 
he tilted his head and smiled softly, flipped through the pages. he only stopped when he saw a detailed print of a basilisk. quite terrifying yet devilishly smart creature. 
leehan closed the book and packed his belongings, slowly going towards his classroom. 
“oh come on, don’t be such a loner!” riwoo’s whines reached nearby standing student’s ears, causing them to look over at the hufflepuffs. leehan cleared his throat and let out a sigh of defeat.
“fine. who else is going? you know i don’t enjoy crowded places in particular
” he started but his friend already started pushing him towards the exit.
“well you, me, jaehyun, woonhak
 and, drumroll please! yes, you guessed it! two infamous slytherins, park sungho and han taesan!” riwoo grinned. leehan nodded, satisfied. that’s a perfect amount of people. “and hanbin”
“just hanbin?” leehan frowned, suspicious. riwoo smiled awkwardly, forcing his friend to move faster.
“and sohee!” riwoo hesitated. 
“and
?” leehan grunted, halting in place.
“that’s all! i promise!” sanghyeok put his hand over his heart “hufflepuff’s honor!”
leehan just scoffed and followed his friend to three broomsticks. it was weekend, after all. going out with more than two people once in a while won’t hurt him, surely. 
it was warm inside, the smell of delicious food hitting his nostrils. donghyun was quick to spot his friends (and their friends). lately jaehyun was detachable from sohee and hanbin. 
eight butterbeers were already waiting on the table, sticking to the wood. 
“you made it, woah! you have my respect!” woonhak, the youngest, joked. sungho patted the seat next to him and leehan sat down, smiling awkwardly. 
“and you? shouldn’t you be on the prefect meeting or whatever?” taesan asked suddenly, sungho rolling his eyes. 
“i should. but if i skip one, nothing will happen” he shrugged, reaching for his butterbeer. 
“y/n seemed pretty upset about it” the words slipped out of leehan’s lips before he could realize it. everyone looked at him, a bit shocked, so he quickly added: “i heard it when she was passing me by. nothing crazy, it’s not like i talk to her or something” 
the mere thought of standing near you terrified him, not to mention talking. donghyun didn’t know how sungho –  or anyone, really – was doing that. 
“she’s being dramatic. miss perfect
 she decided to be in charge of organizing almost everything this year, at least it feels like it” sungho mumbled. 
“yeah, it’s crazy how she manages to do it all. well, let’s just hope she won’t cast melfors jinx on you” jaehyun teased 
“his head is as big as a pumpkin already, though” taesan snickered and was met with sungho’s fist on his shoulder. 
you were sitting on the grass, crossing out the ideas that seemed foolish. the weather was cold, yet snow hasn’t fallen yet. even though it was november, you were in charge of organising events for students that are going to stay at hogwarts during christmas. you being one of them. 
well, it wasn’t fully your responsibility - other prefects were supposed to help. 
“stupid sungho
” you mumbled, wrapping your scarf tighter around your neck. 
you looked up and adored the view in front of you. the last of leaves falling off trees, being swept by wind. here and there you could see some students but during this cold season, majority preferred to stay inside. then, you noticed a particular silhouette. 
someone was squatting dangerously close to the lake. 
you stood up, packing your belongings in a rush. 
as you approached the reckless student, you noticed the yellow and black colors of hufflepuff. of course. you opened your mouth to scold their behavior but you heard a quiet murmur. 
“hm? how did you get here, little one? you belong to the island. you couldn’t have possibly swam over here” 
you leaned a bit forward and peeked over the hufflepuff student’s shoulder. he was gently reaching his pointer finger out to a bowtruckle.
the small, green creature was staring at the stranger, big brown eyes blinking slowly. it slowly meet half-way with the person’s finger. 
“you’re not as shy as you friends” a low chuckle made you smile “i should get you back there
 but how?” 
the person rose their head up and looked around. the bowtruckle pointed at you. 
“oh?” the student tilted their head and looked through their shoulder, meeting your curious gaze. you gasped, getting caught. 
the guy’s eyes widened, lips tightening. 
“oh” he mumbled. you frowned, his features looking somehow similar. 
the hufflepuff boy stood up, acting as if he did not just hid the small creature in his pocket. he tried to walk away but you stopped him. 
“hey! it’s dangerous to be out here” you cleared your throat. the guy stopped in his tracks, back facing you “do you have an idea what kind of beasts are there?”
a soft smile cracked on his lips, eyes trained on the ground. 
“kelpies, grindylows, selkies
 and oh, the giant squid. man, they are so
” he whispered and you were certain he thought his words didn’t reach you. yet, they did. you smiled, realizing he was probably another creature-obsessed student.
“anyway, i do appreciate your care towards this little fella. however, it would be better if hagrid took care of him” you looked at him with a straight face. the hufflepuff boy kept avoiding eye contact and failed to notice the silly bowtruckle escaping from his pocket. 
the green creature ran down his pants and started making circles around you. 
“i, uh
 i don’t know how to hold him” you scoffed, trying to catch it. 
“like this. make sure not to tug the leaf on its head
” he breathed out and caught the bowtruckle, holding it in two hands. 
awkward silence fell between you two, the boy stubbornly keeping his head low. 
“i’ll keep going” he mumbled and wandered off to hagrid’s hut, leaving you puzzled and somehow intrigued.
“hey, chill out” sungho nudged your shoulder, casing your fountain pen to jerk and leave a crooked line. you glared at him.
“i would if someone helped me. i still have to come up with ideas for the three last days and i need to turn them in to mcgonagall by friday” you huffed and tossed your notebook aside. 
sungho puffed his cheeks and looked over at taesan for help. he just shrugged, carelessly tucking his hands into his pockets.
“don’t look at me. i’m not even a prefect” his cat-alike smirk made you even more frustrated.
“okay, well
 maybe try asking some students what would they want to do?” sungho proposed, scanning your face to gauge your reaction. you let out a small huff.
“see, here we go. thanks. now i just have to ask around who’s staying
” you groaned and noted down the idea, closing your notebook. “but i’ll do that later. now i’ll go, i promised professor snape to help him clean the classroom. a reckless student just
 caused a mess, so to say” 
the exchanged amused looks and you raised your eyebrows. 
“what?” 
“nothing. have fun” sungho snorted. his gaze suddenly snapped up to someone else and he waved. you noticed three people walking up. 
one of them looking similar.
“hey, myungjae, do you happen to know someone who’s staying at hogwarts during christmas?” sungho asked, leaning on the table. your fingers twitched at the sight of him almost spilling a cup of juice with his elbow.
“well, uh
 our leehan and ricky, i think. and zhanghao. and hanbin, he promised to stay with them so they wouldn’t feel lonely” a boy in gryffindor uniform answered and looked at you, a wide smile painting on his lips.
“you’re staying?” taesan asked. you looked at the only hufflepuff boy in the group. so that was leehan?
“yeah” he answered shortly, purposefully averting his gaze from you. 
“why–?” taesan kept asking and you just sighed. 
“is there anything you would like to do? during the break. i need to organize events for students so i figured it would be the best idea to ask them personally” you crossed your arms. 
everyone looked at the guy, his head tilted down and eyes glued to his shoes. 
“what’s up with him?” the other gryffindor student whispered. 
you waited for a moment before shaking your head. that seemed to work on the boy - he finally looked at you, shyly. 
“it’s a hard question, i know. just
 hit me up once you figure it out” you sent him a soft smile and went your way. 
“what’s up with you? is the potion blowing up in your  face still on your mind?” jaehyun laughed and nudged leehan’s shoulder. 
“so that was him after all” taesan snickered. 
“chill out, donghyun. y/n is really cool, don’t need to be all tensed up around her” sungho teased. leehan looked around, scanning the great hall. some people were looking their way - but that was probably nothing serious, right? just a bunch of losers, a prefect and the head girl prefect that’s an all a student.
“earth to leehan! why are you staying here?” jaehyun asked, waving his hand before the hufflepuff boy’s eyes. 
a playful smile painted on leehan’s lips before he explained his reasons to his friends. 
rushing through the dark hallway, you pressed your textbook closer to your chest. it was way past the curfew and you hoped flich was done with his late patrols on this side of the castle. you just happened to get too focused on ancient runes and–
“oof-!”
you felt the impact of bumping into something and almost landed on the ground when a strong hand prevented you from falling. you squeezed your eyes, the darkness not allowing you fully to recognize the stranger.
“y/n
?” his soft voice rang familiar and you glanced at his uniform. the yellow badge with a proud badger adorned his chest.
“leehan, right?” you scoffed and he helped you regain balance, taking a step back. that way, the moonlight sneaking through the windows fell on his face, highlighting his features. 
he fixed his glasses, brows slightly furrowed.
“what are you doing here?” you whispered, blinking slowly. even though your prefect instincts kicked in, you were genuinely curious. 
this boy had just a mysterious aura to him. always so aloof, almost distant. nowadays, you caught yourself noticing him, usually alone reading a book or doing something. something, indeed. just like when you saw him near the lake. he always seemed to be looking for some kind of creatures. you couldn’t help but wonder what he was up to.
“i
 uh, i was researching” he smiled gently. his gaze was fixed on you - unlike other times. maybe he didn’t feel so shy now that the midnight darkness was surrounding you two. you thought it was cute. “and, uh
 you?”
“ancient runes. they are quite relaxing to me, it’s just
 i write them all over to remember how they look. once i nail that i feel like i can read them properly. but just the writing itself
 is, yeah. time consuming but fun” you smiled and nudged his arm gently “let’s go together, our dorms are in the same direction”
he nodded and followed you, the quiet sound of footsteps echoing through the corridor.
“did you think about the question? it’s okay if you haven’t, i was just curious” you asked, glancing at him.
“personally, strolling around hogwarts at such hour is nice. i wouldn’t mind it if i was able to do it without the possibility of getting in trouble” he answered. you agreed.
“i haven’t thought about that. hm. maybe it’ll be possible since there’s gonna be less students. i’ll talk to mcgonagall about it” you hummed “thanks” 
“and, uh, did you get it all done? like, the events” his voice was quiet. he wasn’t shy but more so, he was cautiously picking his words. 
“yes but there’s not going to be much. people i asked didn’t seem interested” you sighed.
“it’s a shame, you’ve been working hard to come up with anything” leehan sent you a reassuring smile. a strange glint sparkled in his eye, some kind of sadness. 
“what can i do? i guess they want to be alone, apparently” you scoffed.
“meow”
you two froze, feet glued to the floor. leehan looked at you, wide eyed. 
before you could realize, he was pulling you to hide behind a column. with your head squished against his chest, you could hear his heart pounding as if it was about to rip out of his ribcage. 
his hand naturally rested on your head, the soft fanning of his breath against your hair. 
the sound of footsteps was coming closer and closer as you tried to think of something. 
a sudden beam of light caused leehan to squint his eyes, pulling you slightly closer. 
“what an absurd! not only it is after curfew, you are also
 doing things that should be kept private! this place is coming to an end! who would have thought, students
 of opposite-!”
“what? no! it’t not like that!” you choked out, turning around on your heel. 
“mrs l/n?!” filch gasped, and mrs norris’ loud meow was almost soul ripping “out of all people! you?”
“no, it’s not like that! we just
” leehan’s voice was quiet, almost stuttering. 
“yes? explain your red faces then! someone who was caught wouldn’t be such a blushing mess! dear merlin, what is going on with those youngsters nowadays!” the caretaker whined.
“we weren’t doing anything, mr filch! we just- we tried to hide! from you, it is. not from you as in
 we didn’t-” you tried to explain. when you turned around to check up on the ravenclaw boy, he was indeed as red as the gryffindor representative color. his eyes were glued to the ground and you could swear you saw sweat dripping down his temple.
“detention!”
his eyes snapped up, wide as two prophecy orbs. panic written all over his face, fingers fiddling. 
“it’s my fault. let’s not bring y/n into this” he spoke up, swallowing hard. 
“how so? i see you two. not just you, boy” mr filch said with an attitude, picking up mrs norris. “i’m not repeating myself. detention. madam pince needs help in the library, so it’s just perfect” 
“but-” leehan tried to cut in but the cat interrupted him with an aggressive hiss. 
“now go! before i take points from your houses!” the caretaker tsked and you ran off, grabbing his hand. you could only hear distant murmurs “the head girl
 youngsters are getting worse and worse each year
”
once out of his reach, almost at the ravenclaw dormitory, you realized you’re still holding his hand. leehan halted, gasping.
“i’m so sorry, y/n! i don’t know what’s gotten into him but i’ll do it myself. please, don’t bother–” the hufflepuff boy started rambling, avoiding your gaze. was he scared you’re angry at him?
you gently put your hand on his arm.
“hey” 
leehan slowly looked into your eyes; however, just for a split second. his breath was heavy in the silence. 
“it’s alright. i can handle one detention. in the library? it sounds like a pleasure to me” you huffed, trying to cheer him up. poor boy, he must’ve really felt guilty. “he got so pissed because he has never felt the touch of a woman. mr filch got jealous, that’s all” 
you chuckled but leehan remained quiet. well, maybe that was a failed attempt at trying to cheer him up. 
“i, uh. anyway, i’m sorry too. don’t beat yourself about it, okay?” you whispered, patting his arm. leehan’s small nod made you content. “sleep well, leehan” 
he felt your hand slip off his shoulder. 
maybe if he wasn’t too ashamed to look up, he would’ve noticed the way you looked back at him before entering the dormitory.
leehan was standing between the bookshelves, enjoying the smell of books. the library was quiet, thanks to the majority of students having left already. even madam pince wandered off to somewhere. 
“hi”
he turned his head to the side and was shocked to see you. out of your ravenclaw uniform, at that.
“hi” he whispered and quickly returned his gaze to the book he was holding. he gulped nervously, his adam’s apple bobbing.
it was his worst nightmare, actually. bringing the all-star student into detention with him. even though the fault was technically on both sides, he couldn’t help but feel guilty. you should be resting and not
 
“how’s it going?” you asked quietly, standing next to him. your back faced the bookshelf he was facing, side profiles matching. 
“it’s quite pleasant, to be frank” he mumbled in response “you didn’t have to come here”
you scoffed and scanned all the books, laying in messy piles. they really needed reorganizing.
“would i really be able to call myself a student without getting in trouble even once?” you snickered, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. “i told you not to worry about it, leehan”
silence fell between you two, only the sound of him flipping the pages bringing warm comfort.
“it’s donghyun, actually” he said softly with a twinge of happiness. you cocked your head and glanced at him, grabbing a random book. “leehan is a nickname that just
 stayed. donghyun is my real name”
“it’s pretty” it slipped out of your lips before you could realize, so you just hung your head low and decided to think of a strategy on how to resort the books. leehan smirked and put the book he was holding on one of the shelves. to break the awkward tension you accidentally created, you cleared your throat “uh, did you take care of that bowtruckle back then?”
“bowtruckles aren’t really my thing so i took it to hagrid. he promised me to get it back to its home tree” he hummed, reaching for another book. he ran his fingers over the navy colored cover, the remaining letters of a handwritten title barely there anymore.
“so what is, then?” you asked. 
even though you didn’t have to be quiet, you two kept talking softly. you couldn’t put your finger on it but maybe it was the overall atmosphere of the library. alas, you wouldn’t say you minded. it was comforting.
“sea creatures” donghyun answered with a soft sigh. did you irritate him? 
“sorry. you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. i’m just curious about you” you mumbled. 
your shoulders were touching and you felt his arm move now and then whenever he reached out to put away a book. 
leehan hummed in deep thought, far away with his thoughts - hence, he didn’t hear you.
he never would have thought that he would be conversing with you. you were just so out of his league and intimidated him. good grades, friends with everyone
 but deep down it was your organization skills. you just had it all together. despite all those side things you took care of, you still managed to find time to study. heck, you even liked it? he recalled your conversation from the hallway. what did you say about ancient runes
?
“they are quite relaxing to me, it’s just
 i write them all over to remember how they look. once i nail that i feel like i can read them properly. but just the writing itself
 is, yeah. time consuming but fun.” 
how can one find thousands of new icons to learn, memorise and remember
 relaxing. he was a bit jealous that you did it so effortlessly. 
and sure, he heard you complaining about tests and exams. but you still passed with ease. unlike him, who no matter how much he studied, still barely passed. 
“ouch!”
a soft thump of a book falling brought him back to life. 
he leaned down to pick it up but only bumped against your forehead. 
blood rushed to his cheeks out of embarrassment. but you just giggled and took the book, putting it back. 
he must have been zoned out for a while because he noticed you did one of the shelves already. 
you grabbed another book. it had a black cover and no title whatsoever. you started flipping pages to check what even it’s about. leehan, who was peeking through your shoulder, saw a glimpse of an interesting drawing.
“the giant squid” he placed his finger before you closed the book. you were startled a bit and looked around to meet his face quite close to yours. 
yet, his brown eyes were fixated on the creature.
“do you know it’s semi-domesticated? on the chocolate frog cards its described as “the bane” of hogwarts’ students who wanted to go for a “dip in the lake”. it’s so dumb. first of all, it lives very deep in the lake, so even a small dip wouldn’t hurt. and secondly, it’s harmless. it
” he hesitated and a shy smile formed on his lips. you couldn't help but smile as well “it even allows students to feed it bread”
“really?” you asked in disbelief, turning your gaze to look at the drawing of a giant squid. donghyun’s low hum of confirmation made shivers ran down your spine.
“toast to be specific” he added and you felt a movement.
leehan stepped closer and you could feel his body almost pressing against yours, his breath softly fanning over your cheek. the hufflepuff leaned closer to read the information. right, of course.
“but you know, it must be because its magical. true giant squids, architeuthis i think, wouldn’t be able to stand our lake’s lack of salinity. and normally, it wouldn’t digest food” donghyun shrugged. you didn’t know what was happening to you - you couldn’t prevent your smile from growing. listening to him rambling about his niche sea creature interest really warmed your heart.
oh, this boy got you whipped.
“i think it’s a subspecies. like kneazles and mundane cats” leehan added, his finger tracing the black inked illustration of the squid’s tentacles.
your breath hitched. you wanted to reply, to throw a comment. but you realized you had no knowledge in this discipline, making you even more intrigued with donghyun.
“i really want to see it one day. maybe in summer. sometimes it plays with students, you know? lays out its tentacles out of the lake and just
 lets the students mess with it” he tsked “hopefully
” 
“i’d like to see that” you giggled. you heard a faint gasp and glanced at him. his eyes snapped back at you, as if he just realized he’s been rambling. 
“i’ll take you with me, then. i planned on going at the end of the year, just before leaving for summer break” he shot you a soft smile, small crinkles forming around his eyes (and you swore your knees just went weak). 
“i’m in” you grinned and gently moved his finger out of the book. then, you closed it and stood on your tiptoes to put it on the higher shelf.
however, you couldn’t reach.
“let me help you” donghyun’s tender voice once again rang from behind you. 
soon enough, you felt his warm hand on your hip as he took the book from your hand and placed it for you. for a mere moment you could feel his chest pressing against your back, the smell of his cologne invading your senses like a swarm of butterflies whirling around you.
you didn't even realize when the hufflepuff boy was back in his position, putting back the rest of the books. and further on ramling about sea creatures.
“there was also a case of the giant squid helping a student that had fallen into the lake
”
sitting on a nearby bench, you were writing the ancient runes to form a sentence. actually, you were writing in your journal about today’s date with donghyun. his own notebook was laying next to you - he was afraid to get it wet. 
“ah, y/n, quick! a grindylow!” he yelped and you shot to your feet, dropping your journal onto the bench. with snow crunching underneath your feet, you sprinted towards the hufflepuff boy. he had his scarf and hat on, pink nose peeking from the layers. 
“how did it come here?” you asked curiously, quickly joining his side. 
leehan's  gloved hand grabbed yours and pointed at the quickly swimming creature. it was barely visible due to its dark color blending with the green shade of the lake but you could see its outline. 
“my bet is looking for food. they like fish. or maybe it was bored. or
” donghyun hesitated, looking over at you. you shifted your gaze at him, looking at his big brown eyes hidden behind his glasses. “or
 it came here for its prey!”
donghyun suddenly wrapped his arms around you, lifting you off the ground and spinning around. you squealed, taken by a surprise. 
“they don’t eat humans!” you whined when he put you down.
“uh
 sure
” he chuckled and reached to the pocket of his puffy jacket. he grabbed some dried algae and threw it into the water. you moved closer to him, suddenly scared. interlocking arms with his, you snuggled onto his side.
“it eats people?” you asked quietly as you saw the creature swimming closer to the food. its head poked out of the water surface, small, black, shiny eyes looking at you before taking a bite of the algae.
leehan snickered and grabbed your chin, eyes locking with you.
“only cuties like you” he grinned and moved his yellow and black scarf out of his face. then, he leaned closer and kissed you softly. even though his lips were cold, you felt warmth spreading through your body. you smiled into the kiss and pulled him even closer by the scarf. 
who would have thought that two days after the detention you’d gain the courage to ask him out. 
he pulled back slightly, first looking at your lips with a smirk and then back in your eyes.
“and humans. but only the grown grindylows and that one is still a baby” he grinned. and before you could even roll your eyes, he pulled your ravenclaw-colored hat down and covered half of your face. with a giggle, he pulled you closer.
masterlist <3
taglist. @slytherinshua ,, @weird-bookworm
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sskinlikepuffpastry · 15 days ago
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i was thinking about that theory of alicent being the one who poisons aegon and....... god, it would be like full circle and so gut wretchingly tragic my stomach turns with just thinking about it bc you are my child, my first born, my first baby, but i didn’t want you, i never wanted you, you were forced on me but you are my son so i love you, but i struggled with it but i loved you still because you are my son but i struggle with my love for you so i showed it terribly and i hurt you and then you grew up and i didn’t like you and you disappointed me but i love the bones of you but then i sold you to your enemy, who happens to be my soul’s desire, because i wanted to end the war bc i wanted to protect your sister and your child, so i sold you, you, who were the very same thing that cemented the end of our already broken bond, you the very reason why nothing was ever going to be the same, but i struggled with that as well bc you are my son but i knew, she said, that she had to take your head so i said yes. i sold you, my first born, to free myself, to protect my daughter and her baby and to rectified my mistakes, by doing the very same thing that froze me with fear for years, that made me rage and bitter and made you believe that you wanted something you did not but then you escaped and she was looking at me like i betrayed her, again, you were the reason she was cold and distant and cruel and far away while being so close but then you came back and you, you, you, you, once again are the reason why she’s gone. but this time i can’t reach her, this time i can’t go to her and offer your head because you knew, you always knew because you burned her in front of my eyes bc you are the reason, you and you and you and so i’m mad with sadness. my soul’s hallow. and all that duty, all that sacrificing, my own heavy cloak of righteousness, my rage, me loving you, me protecting you and your siblings, me giving you up was for absolutely fucking nothing because i kill you, me, me, me, me. your mother me. rhaenyra’s alicent’s me....... [GUNSHOT]
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fairylando · 2 months ago
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i really do admire how lando tries to not give a fuck (that 'whatever' really saddened me so much) but he actually does, and a lot.
guy doesn't even want anything absurd, he just wants the support of his team for the last fucking 4 races but no... let's just get humiliated for one point on international tv💀.
they're really stretching him thin — and i mean it in a emotional and mental wellbeing way. he is obviously inherently selfless and quite literally does not hold self-esteem, but in the last year we've seen him trying to be more sure of himself and trying to be selfish for once. the moment he does that though, he gets accused of being the spawn of satan. and then the team does everything in the world to make it harder for him.
so i really do admire him, because i literally would PERSONALLY leave the sport after this one season.
he's so much stronger than i am.
#im not saying he's not fit for the sport#but like his very dear friend carlos#it feels like he not only keeps his heart on his sleeve#but he also gives it away so freely in a sport full of rabid dogs that want some fresh meat#and he gets really hurt in the process#i relate to him so much bc of this#im not joking when i say his 'friendship' with max is nearing the end#and the team is not even mean they just don't get that when they have championships on the line YOU UNFORTUNATELY HAVE TO PLAY FAVORITES#we got lesser teams doing it from the getgo when they have no reason to💀#and suddenly mclaren doesn't know how?#is it really that hard??#landino#lando norris#brazil gp 2024#rambling#it all started from hungary btw they really set the mood there and its been... foul#it's not even oscar's fault#he is a competitive teammate#he has every right to race#does lando really have anyone atp?#and yes yes i know they're rich billionaires they get paid for this#still doesn't mean they're insensible or immune to feeling betrayed or deceived or just sad bc they trusted someone#and he's a scorpio too so im SHOCKED about how he handles this#ALSO HE GIVES TOO MANY FUCKS#and he rightfully doesn't even give the blame to anyone but himself most of the times when i'd argue that it almost never is#your team is supposed to be your backbone in your first actual fight for the championship... and even after all the years of constant work#and points he brought#not even when finally the car is competitive they can actually do their job and support their driver that is the top contender?
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phantom-0-writer · 9 months ago
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The Justice League had finally given the go ahead to officially form the Young Justice. Not that any of them were going to stop regardless of having permission. Since the Justice League had opened up their slots for more than the original six earlier that year, Batman thought it would be a good opportunity to use the Young Justice to help reach out and recruit some other heroes without drawing too much attention by going themselves. With protégés of most of the originals in the roster it was a solid plan.
They had been told about their newest "assignment" (if you could even call it that) earlier that day and they would be leaving in the morning. They were supposed to go meet a duo in Illinois (it was their base of operation even though they'd worked in other place). Phantom has been in the vigilante/hero scene for almost 10 years now, and Red Huntress started a few months after him.
Their names were well known, Dick had known of them even before he became Robin. But despite their national (maybe even International fame) little was actually known about the duo and the rumored Team Phantom that alluded to there being more than just the two. Dick had been a big fan of Phantom, and modeled a lot of his moves off of the super-powered hero.
Batman told them that they had already reached out the Phantom (Red Huntress had deferred them to him, and refused to speak with them afterwords) and he agreed to meet the YJ team and mentor them for a designated amount of time. There had been rumors in certain forums that the JLA had reached out to Phantom to be one of the original members of the league but he had turned them down. When Kid Flash had brought it up during the meeting, Batman refused to confirm or deny (which was proof enough).
The plan was for the YJ would stay in Amity Park for 15 days and learn from them, they would check in after that to see weather their stay should be extended. Specifically citing that their legendary teamwork would be incredibly beneficial to learn from to strengthen them as a team. The other plan, and equally as important, was to warm them up to joining the JLA ranks since a direct invitation hadn't been received favorably.
All that was thrown in the window when, three days in, the YJ, Phantom and Red Huntress get portaled to an unknown destination, with strange and unknown life(?) forms, with no supplies, no working communicators, and worst of all, no way back.
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necrotic-nephilim · 3 months ago
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Before reading the comics, thanks to sladixk fics, i genuinely thought that dick always lost to slade, now I know that most times when he's and adult he beats slade no problem but it got me wondering how you feel about this canon-fanon difference
OHH this is a good question!!
i think sometimes fanon makes Slade a little... too badass. i think something some fanon fans don't understand about Slade in the 80s/90s is that he was like... kind of a loser? like don't get me wrong he was a main villain of the Titans for a while and he was certainly meant to be a formidable villain but this reputation he has in fanon almost supersedes him. (for example with specific plots: the fandom interpretation of the Judas Contract is Slade as the mastermind, but the writers have said that Terra was supposed to be the big villain manipulating everything. which is a ridiculous thing to put on a teenage girl getting groomed but, it does depict the intention of who was supposed to be "at fault" in that story) and don't get me wrong, i definitely love playing up the reputation and aura Slade has, but he really is a general contract killer on the level of like, Deadshot. personally, i wouldn't even put him on Lady Shiva's level, i think she far outranks him.
and to be fair to some fanon, recent comics have... tried to badass-ify Slade. some of his more recent Deathstroke runs are really trying to put him as this guy with legions of men underneath him who's this *deadly* killer who can take on Batman and Superman and all the like. and i just find that... boring? like, do i enjoy him being a smarter-than-average villain with a lot of connections? yes. but i don't think anything in his backstory really lends him to being as formidable as he appears in some fanfiction that puts him on this untouchable level. i would personally go as far to say i think *most* of the Batfamily could beat him in a fight under the right circumstances. bc Slade really is just Some Guy who got a serum from the military and went AWOL. (there's certainly more to his backstory than that, but at a glance, he's really not a trained fighter from birth like other characters are) and whilst i do enjoy Slade being formidable i have to admit, it was sort of fun when he was a loser? and i've gotten a kick out of certain comics that point out he's only a terrifying villain when he's up against teenagers. (Ghost-Maker calling him out on that is one of the funniest things, to me) like could Slade give Batman a serious fight? sure, but i don't see him ever winning unless you *really* nerf Bruce. and i really don't see him ever winning against most of the Batkids once they've got some years under their belt. Slade's scare factor was always tapered by who he was against, and he was a *Teen Titans* villain. so he's a little ridiculous and sometimes just sort of a weird loser. and i say that affectionately.
furthermore, on the flipside, i think... sometimes, we woobify Dick a bit too much to my tastes. or, really any Robin who gets shipped with Slade but of course Dick is the standout in popularity and i find it's more prominent with him. it's really a general slash problem, in which one man must be the Strong Top and then other must be the Weak Bottom. and that manifests in Slade being physically larger than Dick (which in canon, ehhh i think the size difference would be largely negligible) and him being able to beat Dick. bc it makes for more fanfic scenarios where you can put Dick at Slade's mercy for porn, for angst, for whatever you'd like. Slade is a good pick if you want to really put Dick on the weaker side, bc you can play with healing factors and strength enhancements. so on a physical level, Slade will be stronger than Dick. does that mean Slade can beat Dick in a fight? historically, no. i mean, Slade trusted Dick to train his own daughter in the Renegade storyline, so i think this is a fact even Slade is aware of.
i don't think it's a bad thing fanfiction likes its big top/small bottom tropes. if you want to make Dick a submissive, pliant bottom who is going to lose in a fight to Slade for your dead dove porn, get it. i've probably written or will write the same. it's appealing and it's a very common trope for Dick. but it becoming the fandom norm does sort of nerf Dick, occasionally. i think some fans don't fully comprehend the actual level Dick is on, where he's very close to being an equal to Bruce, if not already Bruce's equal. in fandom Dick is sort of trapped in this "post-adolescence but not full adulthood" state that does not acknowledge he has been an adult running superhero teams for years. he was filling in for Bruce in the Batman mantle all the way back in the 90s. he can defeat villains like Slade, and usually without a lot of difficulty. to me the only time you can realistically make Dick lose and it be "in character" is either 1, to have Dick *very* early on in his Robin years (i think if he's past 16, he can beat Slade) or 2, very deeply wound Dick/have him in a psychologically altered state via drugs or something. otherwise yeah, i think Dick wins 99% of the time.
but fanfiction is fanfiction, and it doesn't *have* to be canon. esp if Dick losing to Slade is just a sexy prerequisite to porn. do i wish more fanon explored Slade as kind of a loser? absolutely. do i think Slade is *too* cool in most fanon? also absolutely. but those are my tastes and i don't begrudge anyone who just wants a strong, mean man to whump the shit out of their blorbos, which usually, is the purpose of Slade. i find most fanfic with Slade tends not to be exploring Slade's character. they're simply using him as an easy stand-in for a metahuman who's morally grey and very mean but has a nuanced history with Dick, or whoever else. which, very valid. not all fanfic needs to be a character study, but i do think it'd be cool to see more Slade-centric fics that *do* want to be character studies.
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pleasedontcareaboutme · 3 months ago
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It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry
( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)
(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)
#I just realized I can call him dad easier than my real dad and now I understand why am I so damn attached to him#I always knew he was a parental figure for me#but now I connected the dots#How when u have an absent dad and a d34d mom a guy shows up in ur life#that tells u life advice that both of ur parents failed to do so#and makes u feel safe the first time in ur life#ofc ud become attached#i know for sure its unhealthy how much i love and miss him#he occupies most of my thoughts honestly#But how could i not cling to him so much when he was the only one who gave me hope in life#i try to keep going and even tho he is not here i keep telling myself whatever he taught me. i keep reminding myself he wants us to live an#bloom and be free#and that's what ill try to do#but you know somedays i wish i could just disappear and be wrapped in eternal happiness#its so fucking hard to pull yourself out of the slump man im so fucking tired im so so tired#somedays i wish id have the courage to off myself but i know that deep down i want to live and ive always wanted to live but i have no idea#how to live. i feel like i finally found a purpose and someone i love. but at the same time im always doubting myself and im scared of losi#g this little hope again and i know i should cherish and use it instead but each day i have this anxiety because rn i have nothing else if#lose this i seriously will lose everything atp. but ill still try bc rn its this or death so i should try im just damn tired yes anyways#sorry for being depressing some days just dont work out but thats okay#yes at the same time i want to get out of my head and try to find some friends but i cant deny that im highkey fucked up and i just cant le#go of my past and i still feel like that helpless unloved kid and idk how to form relationships this way. i dont trust myself at all so idk#how to trust others. and i feel like in order to find ppl that would love me i have to overshare abt my whole lifestory bc it still dictate#my life heavily. and since i met this band its better cuz im learning to deal w it and i want to heal from everything but yes at the same t#me who would wqnt to be friends w. someone that has like a year of life experience and 18 years of depression lol#so yes its complicated. bc i have friends but im like the funny friend. the one that is as shallow as puddle and has no problems but honest#y im genuinely sufferint qnd have been sufferinz all my life so i want to come out of my funny friend role. but that wojld mean i have to t#ll the shit i went through to all my friends but tbh it would be so random so ye. i do have a plan though. how it could work. But yes im ti#ed have been tired for 7 years now. But this time around i hope i can successfully get out of this torture cycle lol.#ok sorry this is what happens after puberty guys i could beva research case for a damn mental institute atp xdd
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phantomsies · 2 months ago
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my last time speaking on this bc I’m back to my smut and stupid shit afterwards (cause yk this is my safe space đŸ€ȘđŸ˜œđŸ«¶đŸŸđŸ‘đŸŸ) , but I’m genuinely scared, not just for this presidency but my local leadership too. Hence why I always make such an emphasis on it. I live in a small town and it’s very much class/racially divided. The sheriff (a white woman btw but a woman nonetheless) has been actively trying to harass and run everyone from my side of town. She pretty much wrote off this area as a bunch of drug addicts and says ‘she hopes we all just kill each other’. (My family has never done, sold or even been around drugs and yet her dumbass cops are convinced bc we’re black with nice vehicles, that we must sell). She’s also pushing for the gentrification of our area so all of her rich cohorts can come and tear down our houses and build a suburbia. Just the other day, a cop made me move my vehicle from in front of a store I park at all the time bc im disabled and even the closest parking spot is far on this leg and he did it just to be an asshole. I can’t even cry abt this presidency yet bc I’m now worried that my local leaders are going to make our lives hell. Not to mention, they voted no on abortions and gender affirming care as well. I hate it here so fucking bad.
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astrobei · 2 years ago
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every byler creator who has ever felt unappreciated or has never seen their work on a rec list or has stayed awake for hours working on something for it to get no interaction or has had their work passed up in favor of the big fandom favorites or has never been taken a chance on or has ever come last in a poll they didn’t ask to be on or has felt self conscious about posting or about calling themselves a creator if what they’re posting is not a magnum opus or has created something for themselves and still hoped deep down that people would love it: get behind me. i’ll protect u
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swiftfootedachilles · 5 months ago
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there is definitely something to be said about the fact that one of the few female characters and the ONLY black adult character to be in every single season of shameless is barely discussed or even acknowledged by the fandom. like, i feel there is more conversation about season 1 mandy alone than there is for vee as a whole. the only black female main character. and theres so little love shown to her by the fandom
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kimetsu-chan · 4 months ago
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I’m gonna be out most of the day bc I’ll be helping my dad with a big shopping trip plus being out after, so I’m going to be super duper exhausted
I don’t do well in crowded or loud places in the slightest, I get woozy and tired and I feel miserable or like I’m gonna pass out, and if the shopping isn’t gonna make me wanna cry, the outing after will bc it’s gonna be packed with lots of noise and people
I don’t say this because I want to complain, I just wanna give a super quick warning that I might not be active tomorrow as well as today bc when I get exhausted, my mental health tends to decline as well ;-;
so- a bit of a warning that I may poof a bit (sorry! 😣)
#But yeah :)#hopefully I’ll be able to sleep it off tonight but since school is tomorrow might end up still tired and stressed (ᔕ—᎗—)#lol I’m trying not to complain or make a stink about it whilst still being informative—#Edit: uh so I don’t know what’s wrong with me this morning#But it’s already starting to go to crap unfortunately#Hgnhh I wanna talk but I keep telling myself it’s selfish to talk about how I feel#Idk I’m just messed up man#Feel like crap#eating earlier didn’t help it just made me feel worse#I don’t wanna go shopping or to the outing :(#But my dad said he needs help#And I don’t think I have a choice for the outing#And school tmrw :(#I don’t wanna do this I really font#I think I’m breaking down#Yeah I’m breaking down#<- that’s dramatic I’m sorry#Edit 2: if I trigger myself so badly that I have a really quick and strong breakdown will that make me fine for the rest of the day#Bc omg I have things I need to do! I can’t mope around and be dramatic all day!#I hate this! I don’t want it! Literally any other day would have been doable!#I can’t just ask my dad to stay home from the outing either because then that would entail me explaining why I don’t wanna go and I’d cry-#-in front of him and I don’t wanna cry in front of people#I hate this so much#i wish I could just poof into nonexistence#đŸŒŸ#<- atp it’s a vent#Edit 3: I’m trying really hard ace but petting my dog isn’t working
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kaiserkisser · 3 months ago
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can someone nice (!!) please please please adopt me im begging you im requesting you (huge word vomit and vent in tags, pls dont read if u dont want to!! and if you don't want this stuff on this blog PLS lmk!! i dont wanna make anyone uncomfy! )
#tw vent#yes ik i have a vent blog#but idk why i dont wanna go there#ill prolly delete this in a while + if i vent here (which ill try not to) ill always tag it#but if any of yall aren't fine with it pls do lmk!!! ill stop <3#Anyways.#fucking hell i hate this.#dude#i very specifically told them to hurry the fuck up THEY were the ones making us late#i have told them a hundred times the minimum time i jeed to get ready#i told them this morning too that you guys make us late then put it all on me#nad she went like oh no dear dont worry that wont happen#WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH#and like the lecture and huge ass scolding and then cold shouldet ive been getting from BOTH of them before i left for coachinh#im just tired atp#idk its not even that big a deal this happens everyday#i dont know how to feel#idk if im even rly feeling anything atp#its just that i really fucking hate being here#I wanna get the fuck out#but thing is this makes me feel kinda guilty occasionally#for eg a few days ago i was rly sick and she took care of me kinda#and then that made me feel bad for hating her#but then things like this happen and i cant help it and i feel so conflicted#i dont want to stay here i know that for sure but i feel guilty for it#if i speak im being rude and backtalking#if i dont speak im being rude and ignoring#the fuck am i supposed to do????#she always tells me to 'stay silent and just hear it'#and when i do that she keeps shouting again and again and finally i say smth bc although its extremely fucking dumb of me to open my mouth
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causenessus · 6 months ago
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take this as my formal apology because i feel literally sick with guilt thinking about all the fics i need to catch up with but am unable to get myself to start on rn 💔
“you’d be surprised what a person would do for someone they love,” akaashi says and then shrugs when she looks up at him in shock, as if he’s just said something completely normal. “didn’t you tell me you used to make him food for basically every game you went to for him? didn’t you take pictures for inarizaki just to be around him? well now he’s all the way here in the arts building to see you and i have to get back to my stand. bokuto’s waiting for me. i’m sure suna’s waiting for you, too.”
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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I apologize for how incredibly specific and niche this is, but aahhhh whenever people call rbr Seb a "boy king", I can literally only think about this statuette:
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1. Because I think it gives the same angelic but mischievous vibe as Seb
2. Because it is a statue of a literal boy king
3. The ringlets and big eyes.....
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i-am-church-the-cat · 9 months ago
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Okay no one talk to me bc I haven’t watched the race yet but I just finished Nightbane by Alex Aster and am currently Losing It. I need the third book rn.
#lightlark#nightbane#spoilers for the book from this point on#OH MY GOD#WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE’S GOING TO KILL ONE OF THEM????#ALEX#ALEX PLEASE#I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME#wait if it’s possible to bring people back to life in the Other World then could she theoretically bring Oro/Grim back?#also SHE’S DEAD???? WHAT?????#also are the dreks what Oro was talking about when he said Grim was protecting them all from something in the last book?#WAIT BUT-#SHE’S LIFE AND DEATH SHE’S BOTH#SHE’S BOTH ALIVE AND DEAD#YOU CAN BRING SOMETHING BACK FROM DEATH SO WHAT WILL SHE BRING BACK FROM ORO/GRIM’S DEATH?#also what are your bets kn who she kills?#atp signs are pointing to oro especially with the stuff that enya was saying#like isla is basically born to be his doom#but also i don’t think isla wants to go to the other world atp#idk I NEED THE THIRD BOOK#also if she’s going to shack up with grim now: how is he going to act knowing she isn’t only his?#how will they act together? just bc isla loves him doesn’t mean they’ll be all domestic like she and oro were#and god idk which couple i love more#they also hate each other so polyam seems unlikely#i think the only thing that makes sense here is that she dies as well#she can’t go and kill one guy and then live happily ever after with the other#she’ll be haunted by the loss of one of her great lives#and whoever guy lives wouldn’t be able to bear it#honestly in situations like this i’m always an all or nothing person#also i hit 30 tags so i can’t say more but gods. this series man
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loveheartzz · 1 year ago
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jujutsu kaisen 0
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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months ago
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my best friend just told me she's gonna show me her regular ass grocery order when she gets home and i seriously cheered as if she said she was coming over Right Now
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