#and asking questions

[taintedtowers]

okay i looked on the wiki and stuff and i genuinely cannot figure it out, what is diary of a tourney kid???

a totally normal soundcloud account themed around the hit jeff kinney book series diary of a wimpy kid that will totally not rewire your neurons completely

[kitkatwinchester]

I really should've known the episode was gonna end on a cliffhanger.

But alas, I still have class tomorrow, and I have to go to bed, so...

That said, I feel so bad. Derek really tried so hard to keep Scott and Stiles out of it, and Chris really tried so hard to keep Allison and Lydia out of it, but one episode in, one day back at school, and they're already all being dragged back in again.

I guess when you're tied to the supernatural, there's really not much you can do, huh....

But man, do I appreciate our protective parents and our protective Alpha for the effort they put in.

Unfortunately, these things never last long...

So anyways I guess I have to wait to hear more.

The season continues tomorrow.

[catmask]

i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

[10holmes]

I want to add another point and perspective to this as well because I just had this discussion with my partner about why people are staying narrow-minded or why there's such a lack of understanding for issues like queerness or race theory.

But instead of purity culture we were more focusing on the aspect of capitalism and it's influence on suppressing knowledge and thus furthering hate and discrimination.

It's not just that people willfully don't know or care about these topics and grow to be hateful but that they are literally forced and made to...

Capitalism takes our time, the most valuable resource we have, and for example by being stuck in a 40h work week, living paycheck to paycheck, few people have the time nor energy to use their precious little free time to sit down and learn about a topic that is new to them. They also on top of that may not even have the resources or access to that knowledge.

So it's not just purity culture that's the issue here.

And to get back at OPs original point about non-LGBTQ people asking questions - ehy would you not just be glad they ask and show interest? Why would you not just answer them?

I would always answer them! I would always take the little time I have to educate them because I'd rather give them a proper explanation when they're already showing me they want to learn, then to rebuff them and tell them to do their own research, leading to them either finding false information (because they never learned or would also still have to learn how to select correct or filter only the needed information) or having them not even get to doing their own research because to them it would be a mammoth task...

Because I remember being them once, I remember the time and effort it took to learn, to make mistakes along the way and feel uncertain and overwhelmed looking at all the terms and words and information. I may have been privileged enough to have had the time to educate myself thoroughly on my own and have the persistence and resources to do so, but I also know that I could have been less fortunate and then some help and the opportunity to just ask without judgement would have made all the difference.

thinking about that time I was at some kind of diversity and inclusion thing that involved discussion in small groups and one straight girl said she really wanted to be a good ally but sometimes there were some things she just didn’t know and was too afraid to ask for fear of accidentally being offensive. and as the only queer person in this 4-5 person group I said well go ahead and ask me, I don’t care if you accidentally use the wrong term right now or whatever, it’s better to talk about it and learn something, I love talking about queerness and I’ll answer the best I can. and she just looked so nervous and in the end wound up refusing to ask for fear of causing offense. and it wasn’t just the group setting, I’ve known straight people to act similarly even when it’s just one on one

and just. you guys. this is what purity culture and the “if you don’t know something you were never a real ally in fact you’re a bigot in fact you’re worse than bigots because you pretended not to be one” attitude does. how can our allies be allies if they’re scared to talk to us? to ask questions, to make mistakes, to learn? can we please bring back the idea of “in good faith”? there’s way more to say here about identity politics and virtue signaling and acting like language is more important than action but I’m too tired for that right now

please feel free to add to the discussion (regardless of if you’re queer or not), I would love to hear about people’s experiences with this and if others feel differently about it

[mamatater]

The spouse is getting curious about tumblr

[disableddyke]

[reality-detective]

1963 Refrigerator 🤔

[jjian1002]

Chilchuck the struggling girl dad🥳

[creekfiend]

good evening. are u avoiding pain or seeking joy

[tactfullyinappropriate]

It's like we all collectively forgot as a society that friendship and just connection in general takes effort. Even if you meet someone you immediately click with, it takes hanging out about 20 times (!) to become friends. And guess what, some of those 20 meetings might be awkward or unimpressive.

We all want to reap the benefits (having a friend circle, having a partner, getting married) without doing the work (going to events, interacting with people, learning to handle conflict maturely, dating). Myself included. If I could, I'd never leave the house or go on another mediocre date again... except, that's part of the process.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the cure to the loneliness epidemic is touching some grass and building tolerance for tedious in-person interactions.

[xiaq]

So my bike was stolen from our garage last night. My beloved, custom, carbon fiber, most-expensive-thing-I-own-aside-from-my-car bike. I just found it listed on FB marketplace. Shit is about to go down.

[callisteios]

i made a character uquiz. i 100% promise you that you will get a character you know AND like

[milfygerard]

so you'll condone cannibalism?

sure why not

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.