#and anxiety kills and stuff

[slimyenemy]

chat i love them sm

[saggitary]

Just a reminder that Echo, after being held as a POW for like a year, frozen in a cyro chamber, having just been disconnected from the mainframe by having a cable yanked out of his fucking spinal cord goes:

Echo: *raspy might be dying voice* Rex

Rex: What is it!??? *<- terrified that he is absolutely dying*

Echo: I’ve got a big head ache 😙

[enditallrighthere]

always sitting alone in all my classes

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 5 / HORROR & CRIME DRAMA)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes:

-Dangerous girls (they ain't innocent)/ girlhood as violent

-Stressed out and melancholic female detectives and authors (lots of drinking/smoking)

-Mothers who've seen too fucking much to play games/I'm a good mother until it doesn't let up

-Women handling shit/getting shit done

-Mothers who didn't want to be mothers but here we fucking are so might as well handle shit

-Evil women who are also unfortunately hot

-Female sociopaths (not always negatively portrayed)

HAVEN'T WATCHED

The Royal Hotel

The Silent Twins

The Kitchen

The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart

I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Sharp Objects

Killing Eve

Abigail

Heavenly Creatures

A Quiet Place Part 2

Panic Room

Alice, Darling

Blood Red Sky

Rust Creek

The Marsh King's Daughter

Pearl

Longlegs

GOOD STUFF (NEVER WATCHING AGAIN THOUGH!)

Bad Sisters (8/10) (sisters plan to kill their sister's abusive husband)

Yellowjackets (9/10) (love as cannibalism)

Candy (7.5/10) (she's just a killer lol)

Cruella (6.5/10)(help my mom is a narcissist and it's hereditary)

Jennifer's Body (7/10) (boys aren't people lmao)

Bird Box (8/10)

Under the Bridge (8/10)

PERSONAL NOTES

I watched Tragedy Girls years ago, and I remember being grossed out and having a lot of fun as well. If you like Jennifer's Body, you'll probably like Tragedy Girls, too. And if you like Tragedy Girls, you may also enjoy Thoroughbreds. All three have a twisted sense of girlpower.

The Call isn't scary so much as its nerve-wracking and upsetting. It's not gory (although there is violence), but it deals with heavy subject matter. I can, however, promise a satisfying ending. Even though I doubt it would put you at ease.

Horror is my least favourite genre so bear that in mind. I just hate jump scares (because I hate being startled) and I don't like gore though there are times where it doesn't bother me so much. So this is definitely not an exhaustive list on horror recs. Crime is as close as I usually get to such dark stuff so I put the dark crimes, psychological thrillers and horrors together. I don't even want to talk about these that much because I'm nauseous already.

Watch at your own risk.

[angelpuns]

I wish I could be very normal and ' enjoy each day as it comes' and 'live in the moment' but unfortunately if I do that how will I be prepared for the future in which I am more miserable???

[tgtbata]

another year, still drawing people doing things to each other. you might or might not know this but i started working as a doctor this year and i'm happy/proud it hasn't kept me from still drawing my silly little fictional guys. it's not much but it's honest work.

thank you to everyone who's liking, reblogging and commenting on my art! it means everything to me <3

[smile-files]

the most insane series of events happened today...

i already graduated high school way back in june, but the yearbooks were super delayed in getting finished, so they were only ready to be picked up now. i went in to school to get mine this afternoon, but was baffled to see faculty i recognized coming from the direction i was going: we were on break, right? why would anyone be there? and i thought to myself... what if my compsci professor is there... and i was sort of hoping he would be and sort of hoping he wouldn't, freaking out either way. but the odds of him happening to be there were so low, i thought... so i probably shouldn't even consider it... and yet i worried all the same.

and so i got to the building and reached our floor, two steps away from a panic, and i went to the office to pick up my yearbook... and there it was! what i came there for! without thinking i started walking down the hall and up the stairs to the math office. hell. i noticed a few students walking by... i guess they weren't on break? was it already spring semester? i paused and started browsing through the yearbook, finding that they'd forgotten to include my compsci professor with the faculty photos... and then, leafing to the photos taken during spirit week, i found the photo of my compsci professor and i when i'd dressed up as him. the only photo of him in the yearbook was one taken with me. huh. i then continued walking towards the office and peered through the open door, fearing i'll see an empty desk...

but lo! there was my compsci professor, standing at his seat, working on his computer. and wouldn't you know it, he was wearing the same blue-green plaid and tan pants he'd worn when i'd dressed up as him (the outfit i accidentally predicted he'd wear that day, coming into school with the exact same thing). he was happy to see me! and so we talked, and he told me about finals week. oh okay, they're still in fall semester finals... that explains things. i completely forgot that the last time i saw him, i'd never given him a proper goodbye, as i was whisked away by my friends. that odd grief-shaped feeling had all but melted away. i felt both awkward and at ease, as i always did when talking to him... for he was so kind and gentle, as always. he said the students do come around often, but never as often as i did... it was nice to talk to him, perhaps even reassuring.

eventually he had to get back to work, so i said goodbye and headed home. on the way to the subway i felt like a total idiot, partly for worrying so much about the whole thing, and partly for wasting his time again with all my fretting and fussing. and yet, no matter how much i fear he finds me annoying, he said he'd be happy to see me there again as i left...

[vexedmilky]

My heart feels like it's gonna pop out of my chest oh my god

[that-was-anticlimactic]

questioning as a love language,,, asking what the song is called, what they love about something, what the rules of a sport are,,, asking self-explanatory questions because you want to show you care, asking (maybe excessive) questions because you care so much and don’t want to do it wrong or mess it up,,,

[not-tomorrow-satan-blog]

If this comes across your page, no matter when, please do me a favor and remember that the world is a greater place with you in it. I may not know you, but I'm proud of you for every single day you survive on this earth. Surviving isn't easy, and for you to do so for this long is incredible. I'm proud of you, I love you, and I appreciate you.

I hope you either have a good day or a better one.

[neodiekido]

i need to draw something for shuichis birthday after i finish my hw but im rewatching trial 6 and getting really emotional about it

[caitas-cooing]

I feel like Mercury is just the fantasy dress up game version of Akechi but I don't know if people are ready for that conversation yet

[seventh-district]

not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go

(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)

[lilowoof]

ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD

Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I feel like the post I just reblogged pointing out the all-or-nothing in how many people interact with their deconstruction of systems of oppression is resonating for me right now with so many different moments in my life where someone decides that because some part of myself has access to some of the levers of control/influence/etc that come with the relationship to power, and decides what that must mean about all the other parts of me that might be explicitly refused access to those same levers.

It has happened in so many spaces/aspects of my life, and it can be so hard to feel safe and seen and trusting of others when that's my chronic relationship to being perceived - half truths and obfuscation.

It doesn't really change regardless of who's doing the assuming either. Like, where they land in relation to systems of power may influence which direction they lean in their assumptions about me, but even that is often inconsistent. Both sides of the equation (those who share my marginalizations and those who exist in spaces of closer proximity to power) will still do it nonetheless.

When I was doing my liminal social identities work in undergrad, this was actually a big part of the conceptualization we explored of traumtic alienation of self as individual from self as collective, and what it can do to people to exist in this liminal relationship with your environment and the people in it. As I'm starting to gather my thoughts about my stress modeling, this conceptualization is bubbling back to the surface. I'm finding myself meandering through it on both a path specifically my own, and in an effort to better understand what other paths may be available to people during their version of the process/experience.

Selfhood is so fragile, and so in need of balance between self-construction and co-construction for us humans, and that gives us so many beautiful, even spiritual, experiences of meaning making and generativity of self. It also createa many pivot points where we may find room in our path for vulnerability or blurring of self. As much as these pivot points can be distressing, I think they also sometimes become our foundations of change/personal evolution, when we find that through the distress of existing in shift, something meaningful is occurring or observable in our experience of self-in-transition.

I think something I've valued especially about my own relationship with self is its transience. It doesn't always end up somewhere I would be happy to sustain, but it always allows me a degree of comfort in complexity that I think has made my body-mind a safer place for me overall.