#but im just. maybe overall a little unhappier with the show

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

GERT!! how do we feel about season 4?

EXTREMELY ANXIOUS !!!

[angelsparkls]

all my favorite fics that no one asked for:

* = my absolute favorites

multiple ship fics:

All in the Cards (series)* - (haikyuu) MY FAVORITE FIC OF ALL TIME! although lengthy it is such a good read and has a lot of popular ships! the au is such a cool concept and the plot and characters are thought out so well it’s amazing and should definitely check it out

The Crystal Miracles - (kuroko no basket) based off steven universe but coming from someone who has never watched steven universe the fic was not super dependent on it and was just based around the plot of steven universe (apparently i talked about with my friend who actually watched steven universe) i thought it was cool so definitely recommend! also a bit lengthy but worth it

friends, worlds apart - (haikyuu) it’s mainly bokuaka but there’s other ships so i decided to put this fic here. tbh i don’t remember it too well but i do know it well enough to know that it was really good! it’s a pretty long hogwarts au fic and is based off basic plot points from harry potter but it’s not too similar imo so overall a good read!

Haikyuu:

Death Threats & Wine Bottles - (semishira) domestic semishira. that’s all. it’s cute. there’s nothing to not like about it.

Saltwater Room - (kuroken) i think i read this because of a recommendation and man it was funny. i enjoyed all the fun little bits of kenma and hinata just being friends but also the more serious angsty parts and having the whole conflict with kuroo and kenma’s dream. *sigh* it’s good but lengthy. worth it in my opinion but i like long fics so maybe not your cup of tea

When I Fall In Love - (semishira) i can’t really remember this fic since i read it a long time ago but i do remember liking it! the band au/pianist au concept was cool seeing it with semishira and they are so supportive of each other after they get over their annoyance! it’s not as long as the other long fics i’ve recommended but definitely give it a shot!

Cover My Thoughts In Gold - (bokuaka) some classic soulmate au because they are soulmates so why not have a fic that has them be confirmed soulmates

True Ending - (kuroken) marriage proposal in the best and cutest way possible and one that perfectly fits them 🥺

Cat’s Out of the Bag - (kuroken) it’s just some cute little scenes of kenma as a shapeshifter and kuroo not knowing. it’s quick but so so cute how they interact

Maybe, Probably - (sakuatsu) cute hogwarts au of slytherin atsumu and ravenclaw sakusa. yeah that’s basically it

Rose Gold - (semishira) ROYALTY AU SEMISHIRA AAAAAAA definitely one of my favorite considering that I actually never see a royalty au centered around them

Vibrant - (semishira) im a sucker for soulmate aus but this soulmate au especially was such a cute concept!

A Musical World Thanks To You - (semishira) soulmate au fic but you can hear songs that your soulmate is listening to! it really is such a good concept with semi asking shirabu to be in the talent show with him and perform a song and yk yk big build up to the moment hehe

Dog visits - (kyouhaba) the classic “oh he’s different than i thought what do i do now” and yahaba being soft with kyoutani’s dog is everything and kyoutani not knowing how to deal with yahaba barging into his life 😍

be my honeybee - (kyouhaba) tw: implied/referenced child ab/se if you aren’t comfortable with that please don’t read <3 but it is a good fic and addresses real issues especially with kyoutani not really having anyone to help him until yahaba came around. it’s a bit long and made me cry a little so that’s why it’s good

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back - (kyouhaba) everyone has superpower abilities!! i always love aus like this so it’s not a surprise it’s one of my favorites. it also touches on mental health in the form of kyoutani doing too much for people when he doesn’t need to and always sacrificing himself for others even when it makes him unhappy. it’s so good tho if you ever decide to read it because it is a bit long

rewrite the stars - (kuroken) arranged marriage au where kenma and kageyama are going to get married but by the end they realize that they are marrying the wrong people and its so cute seeing kenma come to that realization

Kuroko No Basket:

The Frog in the Well - (midotaka) it has been a while since i read this fic but i do remember laughing about this and just thinking it was overall cute especially with the whole aspect of being a loose retelling of “The Frog-King” and i know two other people who also read this and thought it was cute so there’s that

The Witch in the Tower - (murahimu) this is from the same series and author as the previous knb fic i recommended because this fic is also based around a fairy tale and i found this really cute because they are kinda domestic in this fic since there’s just an adopted child in a tower… anyway

Feels Like Winning - (murahimu) just some soulmate au for them because murasakibara not knowing how to deal with feelings <3

Only with You - (kikasa) a cute fic for this surprisingly underrated ship! it’s not too long but encompasses these idiots’ relationship in this fic perfectly

Claws and paws - (murahimu) this shapeshifter au is so cute because like height difference 😍 and also the whole idea of like himuro being this tiny cat compared for murasakibara is funny to me. it’s kind of long but i enjoyed it!

Other Fandoms:

Boy Problems - (mirio togata x tamaki amajiki) an OG for me it’s actually one of my first bookmarks and it’s a cute little oneshot that reminds me how oblivious and stupid these idiots are

the blind leading the blind - (childe x zhongli) it’s not really focused on relationship but it really touches on the betrayal that childe feels after realizing that zhongli gave his gnosis to signora behind his back and i think this fic is so very cool for creating that scenario and executed it perfectly!

kintsugi - (teru minamoto x akane aoi) oh lord. oh god. this fic actually kinda broke me. it’s a very bittersweet fic that makes me go OMG YAY and then oh oh oh oh /neg but it does end happily. at what cost tho. it’s so so so good tho definitely recommend. a little lengthy but not too bad

Look At Me Like That - (momotarou mikoshiba x aiichirou nitori) THIS FIC SUMS UP THIS SHIP PERFECTLY! ITS SO GOOD! like the whole thingg of ai having unrequited feelings for rin but is now in love with this idiot momo is exactly how i see their relationship and having that tied up in this one fic.

[junebudinfodumps]

infodump #1: LaLaLand THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE!!!!!

this shit is straight from the notes app but with more cohesion (also this is from august) 

thoughts about the ending:

i knew that rewatching lalaland was a bad idea and i knew that i would probably cry but i thought that maybe this time would be different!! it wasn’t. i’m now crying in my bathroom while trying to paint my nails but i’m also thinking about the devastating ending of that movie and how mia looks back at seb for one last time. and she does with it so much love and admiration in her eyes and seb looks back at mia with that same love and admiration and they’re both so proud of themselves and each other and how far they’ve come but the devastating part is the realization that they wouldn’t be where they are now if they had stayed together. it would’ve been one or the other and they would’ve been unhappy. the epilogue is just an idealization!!! mia became an actress but seb never got his club!!!!!!! so while they were happy with each other when they were together, it wouldn’t have sustainable and it would’ve ended even worse. it’s just so heartbreaking and i hate it. i hate it so much. but yet i come back to this devastating movie time and time again.

and what's worse is that even though they aren’t together anymore (and couldn’t be), they will always love each other and that shit hurts. that’s unconditional love and it hurts my feelings and i don’t like it. 

thoughts about the start a fire scene:

the concert scene where seb is playing and the piano and is making eye contact with mia the whole time?? that scene is so important to me. the crowd rushed in to get closer to seb and mia is pushed away from him. mia is so confused in this scene as well because she knows it’s not jazz and she knows it’s not what seb wants to play. the crowd pushes her away from seb and it shows the distance that’s slowly growing between them because of how busy they both are getting with their own projects. it’s devastating. and then things get tight and things snap at the surprise dinner and that’s where everything starts to fall apart and start to end. they never really thought about their futures and how their career paths would fit in with their relationship. they obviously didn’t communicate with each other about how they thought things would go which makes me very sad. i know they wouldn't have been able to stay together no matter the amount of communication but maybe things would've ended a little softer and a little kinder. 

my overall feelings and connection with this movie:

now it’s time to get personal. i was 12 when i first saw lalaland, and im now 18. ive been obsessed with this fucking movie FOR SIX YEARS. SIX!!!! so its clear that i really love this movie. i got my first taste when seb playing mia and sebastian's theme was reenacted on some award show. i was immediately hooked and listened to the soundtrack for weeks until i saw the movie with my best friend at the time. i went into that movie with every word of every song memorized. the guy sitting next to me got so annoyed at me whispering the songs that he left. anyways. i left that movie shell shocked. i know saying this movie changed me is cringe but i really do mean it. there was a hole in my heart craving something and this movie filled it perfectly. 

over the next six years (six!?!?!?), i would rewatch this movie anytime that i could and every time i was left distraught with so many thoughts spilling out of my brain. my mom has heard a lot of these thoughts. she has also cried with me over this movie. i remember the one time where i watched this movie at boarding school. for some reason it fucked me over so badly this time and i cried over it harder than i’ve ever cried about it before. like sobbing. so hard. (and this was when i was an edge lord and wore so much eyeliner and mascara. i cried a lot of it off)  it was sort of cathartic really, highly recommend it. 

anyways, i think lalaland’s ending is what makes it truly memorable. and if you hate the ending of this movie you are wrong and stupid. you hate it because its realistic and it hurt and the movie gave you a false hope and grabbed that hope and crushed it like a can in front of you. this movie was like no other and thats what made it truly amazing. it didn't follow the path of hollywood magic and love prevails. it took the road less taken and decided to be mean. not everything can be like the honeymoon period of the movie, it had to end and it ended realistically and thats just part of the charm baby. 

i will maybe go more into specific aspects of the movie but i have to rewatch it again before i can do that so stay tuned 

[sharedtrauma]

omg im seeing so many people talking about dropping the show and?? that's fair i guess?? if it's making you unhappy, by all means drop it. but i guess i just didn't think it was. that bad? idk maybe it was me going in with a couple spoilers (spoilers that, until they happened, i doubted were true. for the most part. i was convinced on you know who's death, like i was sure it was happening.) like i was still surprised with a couple of things that i didn't like, but most of the surprises were things i really liked. so maybe it was that i had time to prepare for a lot of the stuff i wasn't super happy with, and all the stuff i loved was new to me. but idk i really dont think these episodes or the season are. bad? i'm also convinced they're gonna clear eddie's name in season 5. like there wouldn't be time to do that in two days but they left a lot of threads unresolved and i really don't think the gang will just let that perception of eddie hang around if they can do anything about it. there are other unresolved threads that i'm not confident in them wrapping up properly, but that is one i have faith in. (crossing my fingers that i am not wrong on this). i do feel dread thinking about max not being a part of the season tho she'd better wake up in episode 3 at the latest. i am not going to be satisfied with only seeing my girl for a short time during the final season.

Yeah I mean volume 2 was so grueling it makes sense some people would want to just try and forget about it and move onto something else but it is sad to see. I agree, I genuinely really loved it. There were some things I really disliked, obviously. I saw leaks before volume 2 was released and just tried to ignore them and pray they were fake but they were all real. I guess I was prepared a little in that sense, I knew about Eddie’s death & Max’s coma but I wasn’t too sure. It still hurt like hell. If anything, it just made me anxious leading up to the release and depressed after lol. The only things I didn’t like were Eddie dying, Mike’s bullshit monologue/the discarding of Will’s character and feelings & the weird stancy shit they had going on for no fucking reason. Apart from that, my god was this season incredible. I’m also convinced they’re going to clear Eddie’s name because I can’t bear to think of the alternative. It just hurts way too fucking much, I can’t think like that. I can’t cope with him being remembered like that, I just can’t. I won’t be happy until they either have Eddie be another fake death (which I think is a lot more likely than people think. There are a few things pointing to that possibility in my opinion) or his name gets cleared and he gets a funeral. I need him to have a proper send off, for him to be remembered as a hero like he deserves. I need them to let him rest peacefully otherwise I just can’t deal. As for Max, yeah. I need her to wake up so badly, I’ll be really upset if she’s not in season 5 much. I need her to wake up happy and relieved surrounded by her friends. I’m interested to see what condition she’ll be in after she wakes. I don’t know much about medical shit so I’m not sure if she’ll have movement in her legs and arms anymore after the breaks. I don’t know how bad bones have to break for movement to be permanently restricted. As for her sight, whether it heals or she’s permanently blind and to what extent if she is we don’t know yet. Obviously I want her to be in the best condition as possible so she’s still able to do all the things she loves that require sight and movement to the same extent as before but I will be kind of pissed if she’s perfectly fine after since that feels a little unrealistic and ableist. Overall, I really liked volume 2 and I’m hoping that season 5 can give Eddie & Max a happier ending whatever it may be, just better than being in a coma and being hated by the town you died to protect.

[sunsetsover]

"I swear half this fandom don't actually like Ben" lmao true! Thing is though he's not likeable all the time and he can be a right old dick. But personally even if I don't like him or his actions at certain times, I feel like the broader picture is still there and I root for him because I get why he's like he is? And I can see and appreciate the softer sides of him even if they're fairly well hidden at times.

I also think some people in the fandom intellectually understand that he's traumatised and a survivor of various abuses, and when that shows in certain ways e.g. like if Callum or Lola is comforting while he's crying. But when it comes to situations like this week with Jags and Whitney, I personally think some people have struggled to understand how his trauma connects to it because it's not as obvious as e.g. Whitney's fiance dies, Gray manipulates her, bish bash bosh hit and run. Even more broadly I think it's easy for the audience to underestimate how Ben's experiences have shaped him because there's a distance created by time, his criminal actions, his (un)likeability factor, not viewing Phil as an abusive parent etc.

I don't wanna say everyone criticising him is like that btw! I'm sure there's a few reasons but I think this plays a part tbh.

i get what you're saying but to me it's like.... why would you even waste so much time invested into someone you don't like most of the time. i genuinely don't get it. ppl tend to ship ballum but hate ben AND hate the majority of the sls lately and it's like.... it's 2021 bro it's not like gay couples are THAT rare anymore there is so much media out there if you're not enjoying what ee are doing then you literally do not have to watch. in fact im BEGGING you for your sake not to. literally just do not engage with media that you aren't enjoying. do not sit in your own negativity writing 20 posts a day abt 'why are they doing this? why don't they do that? if they did this i would enjoy it more' bc you're only making yourself miserable. like this goes for any type of media but literally just stop engaging w it if you're not enjoying it anymore. the think pieces don't help anyone. your opinions aren't universal and they aren't gospel. we all need to stop confusing our opinions w facts. just bc i'm not enjoying smth doesn't mean other ppl aren't and vice versa. just bc i'm not enjoying smth doesn't mean that the thing needs to change. eg i hate the fact that callum is a copper and pray every day that something will force him out of it BUT it doesn't really affect my overall enjoyment of him as a character and it doesn't mean that the show has to make him quit just bc i don't like it. you (the royal you not u specifically anon lmao) might hate the fact that ben still does illegal stuff but that doesn't mean the show has to make him stop just bc you don't like it. if it affects how much you enjoy him as a character/ben and callum as a couple then maybe consider stopping watching. festering in the energy of 'i hate this, i hate what they're doing and here's 1200 words why' is unhealthy! i learned this the hard way !

i know this seems like an irrelevant ramble but i think i've realized that this is what my issue is. ppl not understanding trauma is frustrating and damaging and still pisses me off, but i feel like what actually pisses me off more are the ppl who just don't even attempt to be understanding bc underneath it all they're angry/frustrated at the show/sls and that's how it manifests itself. ppl don't like the direction ben and/or callum are going in and so the minute they (and it's usually ben lbr) step out of line they JUMP on that as an excuse to vent their frustrations and often end up saying shit that is ignorant or damaging or mean or just straight up cruel abt things that are so often symptoms of mental illness or trauma. so they're out here posting so many things and making these cruel little comments bc they can't just acknowledge that they don't actually like ballum anymore meanwhile ppl who are actually disabled/mentally ill/traumatised are sitting there reading all of these things and seeing all the people agreeing w them and it's doing real life damage to people.

is it on purpose? probably not. but that doesn't make the damage any less real. i have never forgotten or forgiven the way ppl reacted after ben went deaf. it was vile. as a disabled person who reacted very badly to being disabled just like ben did, it genuinely fucked me in the head seeing what ppl said abt him during that time. now i understand that it was partially ignorance but also a big chunk of it was ppl being unhappy bc they thought they wouldn't be able to enjoy their ship anymore bc ben was disabled (not that he hadn't been disabled before, but now it wasn't ignorable anymore).

idk there's more i could say but i feel like it's pointless. ppl don't care lmao all they care abt is their ship. which, ok fine whatever, but stop letting ur mentally ill/traumatised/disabled followers get caught in the crossfire bc you can't just admit you're not enjoying it anymore and feel the need to tear the thing down and rant about how it's 'bad writing' or 'out of character' etc etc. it's frustrating to read (which is why im never on here anymore) and speaking from experience it hurts YOU in the long run. negativity breeds more negativity.

you don't need to make excuses! just let it go! find something that does make you happy! you deserve that! and we deserve to be able to enjoy something without seeing ppl tearing it (or worse - us) down every 5 minutes !!

(edit - to clarify anon none of this was aimed at you i just sort of started ranting and didn't even really answer ur question im sorry !! i get what ur saying tho lmao 💞💞💞)

[midnight-in-town]

Do you think that things would turn out very differently if OurCiel told the Midford family and Madam Red the whole truth of when he went missing to RealCiel dying and he's not RealCiel (I know that Lizzie wouldn't point out the liar if that's the case) if he came back as himself? Wouldn't the Midford family have to accept the reality of his older brother never coming back after coming back after a month of going missing? (sorry the last question I added was way too harsh. Elizabeth is not a brat. She's just heartbroken about the lying she was told for almost three years and she's really nice in the manga and the t.v series despite breaking OurCiels ring)

2. I personally think that Edward can be overprotective sometimes of Elizabeth as she is fully capable of defending herself against a demon (Sebastian) in the Blue cult arc and against the people (Bizzare dolls) she was fighting (but that's what big brothers do) what do you think?

3. When do you think that Elizabeth and Edward will find out that RealCiel is actually a bizzare doll brought back from the dead? I personally think that it's cruel..imagine that a person was dead for three years to be suddenly brought back to life and you would think that someone was playing a trick on you to make you extremely unhappy as if especially that person was the one who you loved.

4. I think that Bards going to refuse to burn the War hospital down and I think he's going to meet his end there as Lau will do it anyways. I really hope not..what do you think?

5. Do you think that we would end up seeing a Elizabeth or a Edward flashback of their childhood with RealCiel of how they knew RealCiel or the Phantomhives Did they spend time with OurCiel at all? I just often saw theories that she didn't spend time with OurCiel as much as RealCiel..I get it though she just wants to develop her relationship with him? I don't see it as abuse or neglect..she's just a little girl..the same as the Phantomhive twins back then.

6. I think that Earl Grey was the one who framed OurCiel for the music hall murders through the phone (as he does hate Ciel or not) or the Undertaker who was clearly smiling when the police stormed the Phantomhive manor or someone (RealCiel)

7. I have a feeling that Francis knows that RealCiel is a bizzare doll and will very bluntly ask that to him the next time that they are in the future manga chapter together (possibly after the Bard arc in the war hospital because people don't come back from the dead because that was what Elizabeth told Edward: "if Ciel dies again" and I have a feeling that Francis knows about it and will bluntly ask that during dinner if there was one and Elizabeth would possibly deny all that and it's not going to end well if she said that it's not true of him being a bizzare doll)

8. Do you think that OurCiel looked very upset and hurt when the person who he loved the most (Elizabeth Midford) pointed out the liar and it was him..OurCiel was only lying to the family because they would have a different reaction if they find out that it was the younger twin who lived. (The weak and fragile twin who had multiple health issues)

9. I know that Lizzie was extremely hurt and heartbroken that OurCiel lied and I would be if a family member lied to me like that as it is human to feel that way but pointing out the liar to the half of London and to her family was way too harsh..in some ways.

10. When do you think that the Midford family would realise that RealCiel is up to no good at all and framed OurCiel for the music hall murders..I think it's when he shows no worry for his younger twin brother possibly and no concern for Elizabeth.

11. I think that RealCiel emtionally abused and used Elizabeth for his own gains..as she does look unhappy in many ways and six months going missing there tells me that otherwise of what she heard or been through. What do you think?

TBH Anon, I’m still rather pissed that you sent the same asks and didn’t even bother reading what I wrote you in my first reply to your initial questions.

I can guess that you’re rather new around here, but as I said earlier this week, I’ve been blogging about this series for a long time, which is why I have made an entire section of links to my theories so that they’re easy to find, in order for you guys to read about my opinion on characters and plot points if that’s what you’re after.

Therefore, since you didn’t even take the time to check after my first warning, I’m not going to elaborate further if my answers can be found in previous posts or in the manga.

As I already told you, considering this didn’t happen, I see no point in discussing this possibility

Yes, Ed is overprotective even though Lizzie is stronger than him: it is canon and a huge part of comic relief, but also because he’s very close to his sister and he’s a good guy

Ed: https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/177483213162/about-an-eventual-edward-soma-team-up-for-more // Liz: https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/179511621622

Yes. Bard already showed that he was reluctant to hurt Ada’s side. However, Lau doesn’t care and he once eliminated people whom Ciel had let go (curry arc), simply because he’s not one to let his enemies live.

I don’t know about any flashback. Lizzie probably spent less time with our!Ciel though, because he was often sick and stayed inside. Calling it neglect or abuse is absolutely untrue, since she was a child of the same age as the twins who had no power over our!Ciel’s sickly circumstances.

https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/176019513307/so-about-this-anonymous-report-im-wondering-if

https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/184475609227/im-so-happy-reading-all-the-theories-of-you-and & https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/646289725836148736/confession-i-hope-it-turns-out-frances-knew-the

Obviously our!Ciel looked upset. He was very anxious about Lizzie’s predicament, so to hear her words and to see his life shattering around him was hurtful, to say the least.

Lizzie loves our!Ciel, so of course she’d be hurt by him lying, especially since it made her realize that maybe she could have had horrible thoughts about his survival (which she despises herself for), had he told the truth.

Already answered in q5 and 7. From the moment one of them finds out, the others will probably get to know.

No, I don’t think real!Ciel did anything besides telling the truth to Lizzie. It’s the truth itself that hurt Lizzie because, over the last four years, she fell in love with someone she thought she knew, only to find out he was lying about everything. Her heart is split between the two boys, whom she thought were one and the same and grew to love differently. Besides, I doubt the Undertaker would have allowed any harm to come to her. She may yet still be hurt, physically, later in the arc though: https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/171823786347/when-were-back-to-present-do-you-think-ourciel

Overall, about this arc: https://midnight-in-town.tumblr.com/post/174470576547/blue-sect-arc-what-we-need-answers-about

I answered you this once out of consideration for the amount of words in this ask, Anon. From now on, it’d be respectful if you could show the same consideration for all these years I spent blogging about this series, or I won’t answer you anymore.

Thank you for understanding.

[lunawritesaa]

small but important update (tw: depression and mental health talk)

i’ve been kinda... depressed lately. it’s been hard to do much of anything because my mind is so blah. i hate it so much. but it happens every year without fail before i go back to school. i have my moments when i feel fine, but overall the weight of going back to school is heavy on my shoulders. on top of that, i start actual college next year and the weight of that is just making my anxiety and depression worse and worse. 

because of that it’s been incredibly hard for me to actually sit down and write. usually i could sit and force myself to write 2-3 things a night (one on my aa blog, and two on my bnha writing blog) but now i just... can’t.

i’ve also noticed that when i do write, everything i’m writing i’m unhappy with. i feel like my quality has dropped immensely this past few days or so. and i hate it. i want my writing to be good, and lately i haven’t been proud of anything i’ve really put out. nothings up to the standards that i hold myself to. i know that people seem to enjoy them but that doesn’t help the fact that i myself am unhappy with it. i feel like it could be better, i feel like i should write better.

and because of this high standard, writings become more of a job than a hobby. and i love writing! it’s so much fun to write for all of my favorite characters and show everyone how much i’m in love with them! and i’d be absolutely devastated if i started hating writing

maybe i’m just being hard on myself, maybe it’s just my mind telling me that i can be better and i’m just not meeting that mark. who knows.

ive also started playing danganronpa and when i get into something new that i like, its hard for me to want to do anything else than focus on or talk about that one thing. so ive been using my writing time to play that.. plus when im playing it i feel.. happy. like at ease. and when im not sometimes my anxiety acts up. so ive been playing that at night and throughout the day to curb my anxiety slightly. it helps a lot! but i just don’t have time to write because of it.

i guess all i’m trying to get at is... i’m going to take a little break. for probably a week or so... until i can get life sorted out and i’ve adapted into a schedule that i can manage school and writing with.

please don’t worry about me. i’m really fine! this is just something that happens every year and i’ll get over it soon enough. i love you all so much and the support i’ve gotten is amazing.

i’ll be back before you know it! i’ll be checking up on these blogs daily to read any messages that you send me and whatnot, but i’m just taking a small breather from writing. and who knows, maybe ill pop back in and write something here and there. but please don’t expect anything consistent from me at the moment.

thank you all so much for being so loving and caring towards me. you all mean so, so much to me. thank you. 

:)

(requests will remain open but will close when they hit the request limit)

[haich-slash-cee]

Is the print publishing world picking up online/fandom terms? How they are using them? How do we feel about this?

So this is... attention-getting, for folks who like to follow publishing and meta stuff.

https://twitter.com/sapphicxrey/status/1215065948677443584

https://twitter.com/TorDotComPub/status/1233391556750647299

(2nd tweet -- TW, mentions of non-con)

Are we seeing the beginnings of book publishers directly borrowing from online/fandom culture in promoting their books? How do we feel about these examples?

More below cut.

Exhibit #1: screenshots of Bonds of Brass promo from Jan 8 2020. (Which is probably going to have reactions of “haha, cute” at most.)

Transcript of blurb: 

“If you like... 

forbidden romances, “there’s only one bed”, cityships, weaponized umbrellas, powersuits, secret princes, best friends, best friends PINING, fake dating between PINING best friends, tactical streaking, the minivan of starships, cigar-chomping cyborg ladies, scary empress moms, galactic-level bisexual disasters, LEGACY (WHAT IS A LEGACY?), rooftop hopping, golden trios, rumblin’ drums, bootleg fireworks, BIG SPACE BATTLES PEW PEW, a surprisingly functional public transit system, mob trouble, one hell of a pilot, the inherent DRAMA of empire, a nice interlude in a river, smoking a joint that’s been on the floor, sick stunts, slick grifts, hiding in a dumpster, or any combination of the above,

 Then you might like 

BONDS OF BRASS”

The Twitter responses seem to be generally enthusiastic. (And also, “FinnPoe! FinnPoe!”)

Personally, I’m intrigued from a meta-view of “oh so that’s definitely pulling from online world and fanfiction world, interesting. I wonder how much fanfiction culture is starting to influence print book culture and promotion.” Maybe I’ve got some questions like, “Ok so moneymaking companies such as Penguin are now using culture developed by the not-moneymaking-world of fanfiction? How do we feel about this?” Anyway, the book looks cute, I’m interested enough and I might get it from the library.

I suspect many people’s reactions are along the lines of “hm, interesting”, “sounds like a lark”, or “haha they’re using AO3 tags as promo”, etc. 

Exhibit #2, screenshots of DOCILE promo, from Feb 28 2020 (today is March 1 2020), and screenshots of Twitter responses so far:

(*CW, non-con discussion)

Tweet transcript:

“DOCILE by @KMSzpara:  

-Dubcon/Noncon 

-Dramatic Trillionaire Content 

-BDSM and then some more BDSM and then a lot more BDSM

 -Hurt/comfort and hurt/no comfort

 -Cinnamon roll of steel 

-The most scandalous kink: love 

-Courtroom, bedroom, & Preakness drama

[Tor book website link]”

So this is getting mixed reactions on Twitter. All dozen or so reactions, so far. Here’s text transcripts and bio info from repliers, below. I’m being a little obsessive, mostly to show that there’s a mix of queer, book-ish people in the replies (including the author).)

Noncon is nonconsentual sex, rape. Even in fandom it's a content tag, not a promotional term. I can't imagine being a rape survivor and seeing this come across my TL. -- @WriteSomeGood [queer rainbow] [Cis queer homemaker, aspiring author, maker of incredible cinnamon buns. She/her] [has a Tumblr page]

I’m not a survivor but it was an instant “no thank you” from me. And I was sincerely looking forward to this prior to. This is the most immediately off-putting marketing push I’ve seen for a book in a long damn time. -- @AGAWilmot [Author, editor, artist. Co-EIC of @anathemaspec. @SFU alum. The Death Scene Artist/W&W 2018. Ace/enby. They/them. Horror is my comfort food.]

Whichever intern wrote this tweet, deserves a full time job. With benefits. -- @simeontsanev [Aspiring writer, post-aspiring musician, and overall geek  He/Him /[queer rainbow]/ To the world we dream about, and the one we live in now! http://simeontsanev.com]

Idk why everyone thinks it’s always an intern writing copy and not a team comprised of extremely skilled social media experts, editors, publicists and marketers, and their assistants  I worked on those tags with my editor and a good friend!! -- @KMSzpara [Kellan. [queer rainbow]  Speculative fiction writer. Queer agenda.  Hugo & Nebula finalist.  DOCILE 3/3/20 from Tor Dot Com Publishing.  He/him.  Rep @suddenlyjen] *The author, bio page and twitter page.

this is CUTE! -- @MSSciarappa  [queer rainbow] I do books. he/him.

I am Extremely Ready for this content thank u -- @JessicaBCooper [Journo ☽ Writer of faerie, villain fuckery & cruel desires ☽ Lestat & Loki's love child ☽ Aleksander Morozova's side-hoe ☽ Rep'd by Kate Testerman @ktliterary]

I’m listening -- @MerynLobb [Government worker. Weightlifter. Nihilist. Aspiring cult leader. Avid user of words, often bad ones. #AMM R6 Mentee. she/her]

Soon! Soon!! -- @castrophony [Geek. Gamer. Cosplayer. Bibliophile. Scientist. She/Her.]

[happy reaction gif] -- @TorDotComPub [Providing a home for writers to tell SFF stories in exactly the number of words they choose. All our titles are available globally in print and DRM-free ebook.]

[throwing stuff in dumpster, unhappy reaction gif] -- @cursedgravy  [name's xavi, im a transman and i like to daydream about making content] 

For more context, here’s the blurb from the author website. Below is the blurb from the publisher’s site:

“Docile

K.M. Szpara

K. M. Szpara's Docile is a science fiction parable about love and sex, wealth and debt, abuse and power, a challenging tour de force that at turns seduces and startles.

There is no consent under capitalism.

To be a Docile is to be kept, body and soul, for the uses of the owner of your contract. To be a Docile is to forget, to disappear, to hide inside your body from the horrors of your service. To be a Docile is to sell yourself to pay your parents' debts and buy your children's future.

Elisha Wilder’s family has been ruined by debt, handed down to them from previous generations. His mother never recovered from the Dociline she took during her term as a Docile, so when Elisha decides to try and erase the family’s debt himself, he swears he will never take the drug that took his mother from him.

Too bad his contract has been purchased by Alexander Bishop III, whose ultra-rich family is the brains (and money) behind Dociline and the entire Office of Debt Resolution. When Elisha refuses Dociline, Alex refuses to believe that his family’s crowning achievement could have any negative side effects—and is determined to turn Elisha into the perfect Docile without it.

Content warning: Docile contains forthright depictions and discussions of rape and sexual abuse.”

So that’s a lot of info and reactions.

Personally: at first glance, I absently skimmed the tweet and “hurt/comfort” popped out, and I was like “What? Mainstream publishing is cool with this now? I was wondering if ‘hurt/comfort’ would one day become commonly used in publishing [related post]. But this is way sooner than I thought.” And then I read the rest of of the tweet and thought, “Wait, what?” 

And then I started reading through the tweet replies and thought, “OK, at the risk of getting a bunch of Tumblr drama, I want to bring this to the whump community and see how people feel."

As for myself, one of my squicks is non-con, and I’m not really interested in hurt/no comfort. So just from the tweet, I know the book is not for me. The official blurbs confirmed that. In this sense, this is like skimming Ao3 tags on a fic and saying “pass” on a story.

However, I have questions about the specific promotion of the book. So the official blurbs are pretty standard. What about that tweet, which Tor (and the author, who helped put it together) put out? Because I think an official publisher’s Tweet comes with different context than Ao3 tags.

First, the different internet spaces. You can filter tags on Ao3 and Tumblr. I know you can mute words on Twitter, but is that the same thing? Also, would people be expecting these tags on Twitter? Compared to Ao3 or Tumblr or Tumblr Whump spaces?

Within the Tumblr Whump community, from what I’ve browsed, the community attitude (guidelines?) seem to be “Write and discuss what you want. Be sure to tag it, use content warnings, or otherwise clearly communicate if you have things that may be triggering. Respect people’s squicks/triggers. Walk away from what you don’t like.” Like, tumblr whump has a very specific culture of trying to balance discourse/stories about potentially very dark stuff, but also wanting to make sure the IRL people and Tumblr users are okay. There’s always posts going around about how to do this, are we doing this in the right way, ethics, so on. Also -- and people can correct me -- the whump tumblr space might be where tags are content warnings for people to stay away, and also what people might actively look for. So if any space is going to discuss if this promotional tweet checks out, I feel like it’s this space. 

Also, to note again, Tor Tweets are in the money-official-publisher-world, not unpaid-tumblr-people or unpaid-fanfiction-fandom-world.

Maybe I just want to ask, “Hey those first two tweet responses, does they have a point? Tor using ‘noncon’ as official promotion? On Twitter?” I mean, I’ve previously written, “The CW and TW tags that Ao3 writers use, I really wish those were used with published books as well.” But somehow, the Tor tweet was not quite what I was expecting. Maybe for reasons similar to that first tweet response. (I guess one could debate if a tweet is really promotion or just information... you know what someone can correct me, but I’m gonna say that a Tor.com tweet is promotion, compared to information like Ao3, and that tweet was there for promotion.)

Those tags operate within specific Ao3 and Tumblr cultures and infrastructure. I don’t hang around Twitter for whump stuff, IDK what the culture is. Anyway, does dropping these tags into a promotional tweet from Tor.... translate?

The tweet is evidently gathering the people who are there for it, and the people who aren’t there for it are quickly realizing that they are not there for it. But personally, the Tor website blurb does a better job at that, using writing that I’d expect from a publisher for communicating fictional non-con situations. (Maybe the blurb content warnings are what I wanted more of, when I said I wished for CW and TW in books.)

Anyway, there’s no huge drama about that Docile book promo on Twitter, as far as I can tell. So this is a niche thing, right now. But. The promo for Bonds of Brass and for Docile might be the beginnings of a trend of well-known book publishers borrowing from online writing / fandom culture and terminology in order to promote or categorize their books. These two promos might set a precedent or have other significance.

So if anyone has discourse on the tweets or potential future trends... 

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaoldretired]

alrighty! im gonna talk about my two new dr!ocs and some updates on sheon’s whole thing. remember they don’t have names yet adkaljasdkfa

SURVIVOR: the ultimate jazz singer. 

as mentioned, she’s the ultimate jazz singer. pretty subdued personality, but she’s the type of jazz singer who would just. scream into a microphone a la screamin jay hawkins. she is pretty neutral/friendly but disconnected in the prologue/first chapter/second chapter. she gets more jittery as the interactions go on. but once you get to the post-fte section of chapter two, that night she actually tries to kill the protag. at this point its revealed her big Angsty Backstory is she got involved with drugs through the music scene and is currently suffering withdrawal symptoms and is Super desperate (something ive seen a lot with my co-musicians and its not good) big breakdown, really delirious, will eventually be talked off the ledge and calmed down. kind of like if sayaka was actually calmed down in thh chap 1

just so happens that during the night whoopsy someone else was killed. so you two have an alibi but to reveal it means you tell everyone about her issues. either there might be a lying feature like in drv3 to cover, or you tell the truth and end up isolating her. for chapter three and most of four she will keep her distance from the protag bc she’s uncomfortable but will eventually reach out to be friends again after chap 4 execution. 

is generally pretty useful during trials, tends to be a person who tries to help calm down more emotional students and look at things logically. is good at trying to calm down the blackened once the protag catches their bluff bc she understands what its like to be desperate. she does, however, cry during/after every punishment. tells others not to speak poorly of their executed classmates. 

she compulsively chews gum, and one of her favorite gifts would be gum. jokes about having an oral fixation. during school mode she might joke about singing love songs but being so awkward about it in real life. really likes dogs, has a dog plushie in her room. 

a first two fte will focus on her health/wellbeing. the third she’ll ask to not talk about that anymore and the next three are just about general stuff. the final one she’ll basically go a little further into detail but the moral of her story is like, she’s not a bad person for doing what she did, no one is. she’s just a person. and it cn happen to anymore.

dresses in clothes more inspired by late mod/early 70s fashion. hoestly im seeing like a turtleneck/pantsuit combo. short curly hair. big heavy under eyelashes. 

MASTERMIND: the ultimate drag racer (ultimate cruiser)

ok but I LOVE him. personality wise he’s the story’s anxious character, think closer in personality to chap 1 shuichi. quiet, skittish, easily flustered, sometimes cracks jokes that fall flat. he’s framed for the chap 1 murder (someone died in a go kart accident, its assumed he sabotaged the other car, his argument is why would he kill someone in a race in front of all his classmates?) the protag obviously works hard to prove he’s innocent. after the execution he makes a promise to the protag that he owes him one big time, and while it seems innocent at the time, the wording should have like. a slight suspicious undertone. 

he’ll investigate weirder areas of the school instead of practical (sometimes he has clues sometimes not) and if there’s ever a mechanical question for a trial, you’ll generally ask him for clarification. he’s not very trusting of others and is often the one to accuse others/bring the information learned in trials back into the real world and make a big deal out of it. for example, he’ll make a big deal about the attempted murder in chap 2, and he’s the one who’s constantly accusing sheon of being a traitor

at first he seems like he’s just anxious, but obviously, he’s the mastermind, and he’s trying to tear the group apart. 

his fte he’s awkward the first few times but he opens up slowly, showing actual comfort/joy around the protag. wants to be close friends. offers to take protag go karting. while their personality is pretty awkward most of the time, there are flashes of an adrenaline junky every now and then especially when talking about cars, where he seems so full of life and drive it’s almost scary. very competitive during these times, his determination almost taking a sadistic glee when talking about beating others. of course he explains it as his cutthroat sport, but ya know...mastermind. instead of saying we’re going to survive he says we’re going to win. friendly towards the others but doesn’t really care about them focused on protag. is consciously trying to seperate protag from sheon.

for a mastermind he’s actually quite the empath and grows attached to his classmates, which he actually takes pleasure in the amount of despair he feels after each of their executions. reason behind the game is the adrenaline rush he feels, never has felt more alive than on despair. he discovered the rush the first time he got in a car accident, and the moments before his crash where like pure bliss. he wanted to let everyone else feel his feverish joy, and talks about how everyone has enjoyed this, deep down. they’re all getting their sick kicks. breaks the fourth wall and alludes to the fact that the protag (through the player) is having the most fun of all. 

final trial where it’s revealed, he’s still v attached to the protag in like an almost yandere way and wants to follow up on the favor he owes from chap 1. he offers a deal to the protag where if they’re welcome to be their accomplice in all this and get out of the game. protag should push to bargain that everyone can give up their morals, sacrifice themselves to despair, and live as the mastermind’s accomplice in exchange for ending the killing game. 

eventually, he’ll agree, but only if the group decides one life among them to sacrifice for no other reason than to kill an innocent friend. the way to get to the correct ending is to choose yourself which will like invalidate the deal. protag ends up dying and everyone else lives. leaves the mastermind in a despair, but for the first time, he does not derive any pleasure. 

takes a LOT OF GLEE in admitting he convinced everyone else sheon was the traitor when she was not, everyone else is horrified.

anyways. his school mode/love mode events show his more likeable side, he can actually be a really cute partner if it weren’t for the part he’s evil but uh. soft sometimes. 

really likes energy drinks. talks about sponsorships. color scheme is like. a black racing suit but his jacket is tied around his waist and he’s wearing a wife beater. tons of accents of neon all over his outfit from like patches and brand deals. backwards hat. blushes easily. has a mullet. i love him. 

“TRAITOR” : SHEON FUKUDA (the ultimate film maker) 

ok so. still antagonistic. but more in the way of pushing your buttons and pointing out your flaws in a trial. like somewhere between antagonist and kirigiri. super chill personality, cracks a lot of jokes, is hardcore struggling with the games and will be open about her mental illness. her fatal flaw is still her martyr complex

is first framed after chap 2 bc of accused of having the ability to direct and oversee a production like this, and from that moment forward no one can trust her and she’s SUPER alienated. she’s still awkwardly trying to be friends/friendly but people act like she’s going to betray them all. tries to prove innocence multiple times going as far as to beginning of chap 3 announce to the group if they need to kill anyone, let it be her so no one else gets hurt and is super transparent about who she is. but this transparency makes people more suspicious. as she goes on she gets more desperate/gallows humor. last convo bfore chap 5 begins she has a vague conversation about with protag about if they fear death. chap 5 would end up being either a suicide or double murder (they killed each other one in attack the other while being defended against) so there’s no execution but monokuma still wants something. its also in this trial that the ultimate drag racer plants evidence taht makes it look like she’s the traitor and is addressed head on. 

a common motif for her is ‘playing the role assigned’ and knowing who she is and who she isn’t. she’s pretty comfortable knowing who she is but expresses unhappiness about being painted a villain. maybe like, three times through the story to this point it’s established as a motif/quirk of fitting a role she’s assigned bc if the protag asks her a question about herself/past/the overall story, she asks the protag a question like well, what do you want 1) 2) and you choose and she’s like. ok. then its _______. same thing here. as she’s finally excused she stares at the protag and is like do you really believe im the traitor? (yes) stares long and hard, somethng sad and defeated in her eyes. ok then. i am.

the trial doesn’t have a punishment originally planned bc the blackened are not alive. but she chooses not to vote and willingly chooses to be punished because everyone else has decided she’s the traitor and she chooses to play along so they can get closure. her last conversation should be about choosing the act of resistance, no matter how convoluted it can be. she doesn’t fear death. the pain sure, but not death. this was her choice to be punished, not the masterminds, and she hopes they lose any glee they take in her suffering because its a sacrifice for hope instead of a death in despair. last request is that she asks for the protag to make sure the manuscripts she wrote during her time are published, the last great work of sheon fukuda.

EXECUTION: CULTURE SHOCK so she wakes up on a soundstage to blinding light. she’s attached with electrodes. monokuma is sitting on a director’s chair with a director’s hat. basically the premise is as the ultimate film maker, she has to recreate different iconic movie scenes and every time she makes a mistake she gets shocked. she keeps on getting thrown into new scenes into the middle of old ones, throwing her off. after a sequence of costume changes/farces she finally collapses in the soundstage. 

beat. she looks up. above the soundstage is a sign that says “congratulations” or something. everyone gasps. she believes she beat it. a single light comes on in center stage prompting her to take a bow. she stumbles over, stands up, and looks into the shadows in the general direction of her classmates. a teleprompter prompts her classmates to clap. she takes glee, soaking in her win, and bows. as she comes up she smiles for a second before a short rings out. she’s shot through the heart. culture shock!

fte are mostly talking about directors/film references and what its like to be a film maker. real dry humor, sometimes talks about deeper stuff. her backstory is that her dad was working for an american embassy so she grew up in america going to art shool, and she feels out of place, despite being a japanese student with the same basic culture as everyone else. sometimes talks about slimeball directors, sometimes talks about missing certain food, loves takling about movies. as a filmmaker she specializes in dark comedy/farce which makes her suspicious of how someone can enjoy writing somethng so twisted

views are very intersectional, a little new agey, but still well put together. clearly a free spirit, very quirky from working in cinema, super dry sense of humor. likes philosophy

really likes blueberry jam. favorite item is somthing blueberry.

after chap 1 trial she expresses to the protag how she can never be the blackened, not just because of murdering one student, but to get away with it, everyone else would be punished instead, and she can’t deal with the blood on her hands. 

is open about her struggles with mental illness and how she was getting help and showing improvement bfore coming here but now she feels herself spiraling and hates it.

values everyone here as good friends, and while she tries to play it off she hates how they’re painting her as a villain. takes every death very personally. 

color scheme is very pastel, and she wears sweat pants and a collared shirt with a light blue robe. you can’t tell if those are pajamas or an outfit. wears rose-colored glasses. all about the aesthetic, just lean so far into film culture with her. personality/feelings towards style are very influenced by the fact she went to an american arts school instead of a japanese school like her peers so every part of her is slightly off/quirky/out-of-touch

she’ll mostly wear the glasses over her eyes, sometimes pushing them down on her nose for emphasis to make eye contact. only her anger sprite (point) shows her taking them off. 

during her execution she pushes them onto her forehead before taking her bow, almost to meet eye to eye. after she’s shot the last frame is them landing on the ground, cracking. 

i love sheon so much

[lunawings]

King of Prism All Stars Prism Show Best 10! Initial thoughts/summary/review

So I’m going to be splitting this post into several sections with space in between to make it easier for people maybe to skip over spoilers they don’t want to read. 

Table of contents is as below: 1.) Day 1 Greeting Show Live Viewing brief event report 2.) Weekly theatrical video (week 1)  3.)1-10 Ranking and my personal thoughts 4.) New content (intro, ending, in-betweens, etc) 5.) Shin’s new show

1.) Day 1 Greeting Show Live Viewing brief event report

They had a live viewing for one of the greeting shows in Toyko. It was attended by Junta Terashima (Shin), Masashi Igarashi (Minato), and Takuma Nagatsuka (Leo). 

The day 1 greeting shows are always kinda awkward. Especially if it’s a live viewing and ESPECIALLY if it’s before the show because they aren’t allowed to give spoilers. 

Masashi Igarashi seemed even MORE pumped and emotional than usual. You could tell he really wanted to talk about Minato making it into the ranking, which should be a surprise for no one because he was really high in the preliminary ranking, but he still wasn’t allowed to talk about it. 

So he had to like dance all around it with wide hand gestures about how.... these ten shows.... and how amazing it was...... that these particular shows...... hahah ahhh man you could tell it was torture for him and torture to watch. 

Naganyan said that if by chance Leo made it in, he wanted us all to shout IIZE! for him. 

At one point the showed off kanji they wrote to symbolize the new year (a Japanese tradition). Junta said he wrote 変 I think (the first kanji in “change” but it also means strange) but he didn’t have the board with him for some reason so I wonder if he messed it up backstage and they didn’t have another one? Haha. Naganyan wrote 華 (flower). Masashi wrote 手 (hand) and he talked about how hands can symbolize a lot of things, like holding hands and “taking that first step” but then he was like “wait that’s feet....” And it was said in a way where it was difficult to tell if he only just realized that now or not. Judging from Junta and Naganyan’s reactions maybe it wasn’t on purpose hahaha. But then he doubled down on it, and as he was explaining why hands are significant he kept forcefully grabbing Junta’s hand and being like “See? Don’t you feel something??” while Junta was just kinda looking at him like “ummm”. 

I love these dorks so much they’re my favorite. EVERY SINGLE TIME I see them at an event together, Masashi Igarashi just goes on this HUGE rant about something and Junta Terashima is like “...........................................what?” (And Takuma Nagatsuka, if he is there, is like slowly inching away from them.)

I CAN’T WAIT to see them for real in Nagoya next weekend AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

2.) Weekly theatrical video (week 1)

So King of Prism movies always have rotating intro or ending videos exclusive to the theater. (The first movie had the characters appealing to be in the Prism King Cup, Pride the Hero had the regional dramas, and SSS had shorts after the credits.) Best 10 has “Prism Star Interviews”. Basically, you hear audio of one character interviewing another which plays to a static image of the characters. 

Week 1 had Shin interviewing Hiro, Yu interviewing Kouji, and Taiga interviewing Kazuki. It was fairly low key. Hiro talked about getting his driver’s license, Kouji talked about sending weird food photos to Minato from abroad, and while Taiga was interviewing Kazuki someone (implied to be Kakeru) slipped him the question “Which do you prefer, tigers or dragons?” After going back and forth for a while, Kazuki ultimately says he likes them both because they are both strong. Taiga is not too happy about this. 

Something to note about the intro videos is this time is they have four weeks’ worth planned, but there are only three courses of the movie. This means the course and intro video are not necessarily connected and as time goes on it will get out of sync and you won’t be sure which intro video you’ll see. I feel like this was probably done on purpose. After a while we never knew what intro videos we would get for the first movie and it was kinda exciting. 

3.) 1-10 Ranking and my personal thoughts

10.) Yu / Shiny Stellar (SSS) 9.) Taiga / Fly in the sky  (SSS) 8.) Shin/Shine / Platonic Sword  (SSS) 7.) Yukinojo / Hyakkaryouran   (SSS) 6.) Leo / Twinkle Twinkle  (SSS) 5.) Kazuki / Freedom (Thunder Storm ver.) (Pride the Hero) 4.) Minato / Sailing  (SSS) 3.) Kakeru / Orange Flamingo  (SSS) 2.) Shiny 7 Stars [SePTENTRION] / Brilliant Oath  (SSS) 1.) Hiro / pride (Prism King ver.) (Pride the Hero)

So I think the voting for this was actually pretty fair. Basically, people who bought the SSS soundtrack CD got a code which could be used to vote only once. So although it would technically be possible to buy hundreds of CDs to try and sway the vote, I kiiiinda doubt that happened? It’s not like event tickets.

First of all, I was surprised at how low Taiga ranked considering he’s always been the most popular SePTENTRION member. But then again, although I really like him too, there are several SePTENTRION member shows I would have voted for before him. I guess that’s because I would assume everyone else would vote for Taiga so he doesn’t need my help? So maybe everyone else thought that way too that’s what happened. 

I’m also shocked at how high Leo is. He beat Yukinojo. HE BEAT TAIGA. After his ranking was announced the first time I actually started crying during his performance just because I hadn’t seen it in a while, and also I had literally JUST finished translating this.... so I was just like..... MY SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN IM SO PROUD OF YOU (....dammit I forgot to yell IIZE. MY SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNN)

Platonic Sword is at 8 which is OK sure. But you know, to be honest, although I was so distressed by this show at first I’m actually kinda diggin’ it now that I’m used to it because it’s a whole lot easier to enjoy out of context (I don’t have to see Shin crying every time). But it’s just really weird to have THAT smacked right there it at number 8, right in the middle-ish. This supposedly 0 karat show. 

0 karats my ass. 

AND MINATO AT NUMBER 4 AHHHHHHHHHHHH 

I can’t believe it. After all this time. He finally FINALLY got the recognition he deserves. The only SePTENTION member who ranked higher than him is Kakeru and I have no complaints about that because I definitely agree Kakeru deserves that number 3 spot. (You know, I wonder if this means Kakeru actually surpassed Taiga at some point to be the most popular SePTENTION boy? I’m just so used to it being Taiga, but..)

Hiro at number 1 feels right. I’m happy with it. It would be the same in-universe too. (Actually in-universe it would be like ALL Over the Rainbow but y’know.)

It’s really crazy how all of SePTENTION made it in (if you count Platonic Sword for Shin, although they did credit it as Shin/Shine which was nice). I think that’s part of what Masashi Igarashi was trying to say at the theater greeting: To think that the new cast could have come this far. To think that exactly four years ago I left the theater after seeing the first movie for the first time, and I couldn’t even remember over half their names... and look where they are now!!

Although I am certainly not unhappy with the results, and I know the SSS shows are... objectively better, it did make me a little sad that nothing made it in from the first movie at all though. Because those shows had a bigger emotional impact on me overall. I don’t regret using my vote for Minato, because I feel better having contributed to him getting the recognition he deserved than I would have if I had voted for something that didn’t stand a chance. But at the same time, Shin’s Over the Sunshine at the end of the first movie is probably the most important prism show to me, in actuality. 

But they are doing different courses to show the prism shows that didn’t make it in. The first week they are showing a montage of all of Over the Rainbow’s shows. Watching them back-to-back with the SSS shows in this movie really highlighted how old they look in comparison, especially the Hiro/Kazuki Boy Meets Girl. Back when the only texture they used was for Hiro’s stomach...

But anyway, the credits revealed the other courses will show Alexander, Joji, The Shuffle, and Louis’ shows. It is also rather sad that none of the Schwarz Rose boys made it in. Especially since Alec is so popular! I wonder if Alec fangirls didn’t vote for Survival Dance in protest since Alexander has never gotten an original song. I felt the saddest about Louis though... because Shota Aoi and his voice and...... (C.... Can I just slip in the back room, cut out Platonic Sword, and edit in I know Shangri La?)

PS. I think the shows were pretty close to the same versions we saw originally. One notable change is that they added in some subtitles for cheering. Specifically “SHISHO!!!” in Yukinojo’s show and “YO! Daddy I did it!” in Kakeru’s. So I guess we were originally supposed to yell that. (Oops.) As I hoped it would be, Brilliant Oath was also stitched together without that long break in the middle, so in this version it just looks like SePTENTRION created the goddess on their own with their prism jump. But hey! It’s nice to have a complete version. Also Platonic Sword was missing the Prism Axel. (Maybe that’s another reason I could enjoy it this time around.)

As is tradition, the credits are set to a new SePTENTRION song. This one is called Love Gravity.

4.) New content (intro, ending, in-betweens, etc)

There are two new, very brief, traditionally animated segments. The first one is a cold open of SePTENTRION as power rangers fighting Alexander. What makes this even more hilarious is it basically starts right where the original Prism Show Best 10 left off. They even used the exact same background I think!? Some of the boys’ ranger costumes are... interesting... Kakeru’s (and I’m afraid this won’t translate that well to English so I might as well explain it now) is missing the entire backside. The joke is about the contrast between his two sides (business and party: lit his front vs back in Japanese). I think this segment also has the first ever anime/movie reference to Alexander being weak to Leo. (It’s referenced in Prism Rush all the time.)

The second new traditionally animated segment is at the end, and it involves SePTENTRON in the bath discussing different genres of dramas or movies they could do now that their careers have taken off. I’m pretty sure it’s a metaphor for “So much has happened in King of Prism, what now?” After all the discussion of different genres, Shin starts to get worried it means they won’t do prism shows together anymore. But they all agree that of course they will. 

Then there are the Dorachi and Torachi segments. They are simplified and look as though they were animated in flash. In addition to counting down the Best 10, Dorachi and Torachi also have two language teaching sessions. First Dorachi teaches us some “useful” English phrases, i.e. Alexander’s “Go to hell!” etc. Then Torachi teaches us Aomori dialect. What makes this sequence so hilarious is how seriously they take it. Like, as seriously as you could imagine a chibi tiger and chibi dragon teaching you something would be. The Aomori dialect was pretty challenging too, and Torachi actually broke down the sentences, pointing out where the intonation was different and like.... IT WAS ACTUALLY EDUCATIONAL. LIKE..... I ACTUALLY LEARNED SOMETHING. The first two sentences we practiced in Aomori dialect were Taiga’s dad asking him if he thinks his grades can get him into high school, and that random background character saying the nebuta floats won’t be ready in time. But then we got a completely new Taiga line of him confessing to someone which needless to say was NOT in the show BUT...... the background was clearly the scene from the end of episode 3 when Taiga was trying to tell Kazuki something. Pfff. 

There is also a longish short anime during the intermission done in the same style. Torachi finds Dorachi out of power, and the two get lost together trying to find a power source to charge him. Meanwhile Taiga and Alexander don’t come looking for them until after dark because they are too busy fighting. Moral of the story: Dorachi and Torachi are secret BFFs and Alexander and Taiga are terrible parents.  

5.) Shin’s new show

My...... heart............................... my heart felt so full............. nnnghghhgphhhh.........

The context is that Shin is finally performing the song Yu wrote him in the costume Leo made for him at the Rose Party. So it’s taking place chronologically after SSS. 

Daisuki Refrain is a very heavy audience participation song. Perhaps the most intended participation in a King of Prism song we have had so far? There is a beat to clap to, callouts, and even a dance in the middle and it’s pretty clear even during your first viewing what you’re supposed to be doing at all times. 

Also, as I guessed from seeing Junta Terashima perform at the CD release event, Shin’s hat is a huge part of his choreography. What I did not guess is that it’s also a magic hat that grows and you can ride on it if it fills up with prism sparkle hahahah.

Ahhh man.............

....Okay. If you have seen it, I know you’re probably expecting me to talk about that.... one part...... So. I will. Okay. Here goes. 

At one point in his performance, Shin partially obscures his right eye while his left eye shines red. W......Why is that in there WH--okay I kinda know why. I think Shin has been gaining a lot of popularity recently since the end of SSS specifically because of Platonic Sword, and because he has that edge now. So although they gave him a happy, fluffy, traditional Shin show, they still put in a little fanservice for the fans who like the edge. A little reminder that he’s still in there. While I’m like.... YOU... YOU STAY IN THERE. IM WATCHING YOU. Ahahaha. 

One thing though, I could have sworn in the preview showing that Shin’s right eye (the one which would be yellow if he was Shine) was completely obscured.  But when I saw it again on the premiere day, I could see it was only partially obscured and it was clearly the normal red. So. Surely I was just so surprised that they did that in the first place that I just didn’t fully register it. It’s not like they changed it in between the preview and the premiere, right..... RIGHT?

Right. 

Okay moving on sorry that was too long. Haha seriously that scene is like 2 seconds and Shin’s show is SO CUTE AND SO GOOD. I really REALLY did like it and I’ve been singing the song all day. 

And his new prism jump......................

I........

Nnngfdnnnphhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I really don’t want to spoil itttttttttt..... while I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you just wait and experience it for yourself firsthand like I did, at the same time.... not gonna lie... I also really want to talk about it. Because Shin. So I’m gonna end this post here but also write about it at the end anyway. So if you absolutely must know. It’s down there. 

But. 

Thanks for reading! READY SPARKING!

<3

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Okay so Shin’s new prism jump. It’s called Mugen Hug Together.

And it’s basically. 

A reverse Mugen Hug. 

So Shin Mugen Hugs the crowd, but then the crowd reflects it back to him and he’s like AAAAUUUGH and, of course, it takes all his clothes off. 

(And then there’s like an uncomfortably long black screen. Where it’s like.... did we kill Shin?)

(Did we kill him? With our love?)

(We did not.)

(I guess he needed time to get his clothes back on.)

Shin has one of his speeches where he says he’s embarrassed about how he wanted us to feel good but the opposite happened. Then the second part of the jump starts (or I guess it may technically be a second jump), part of which can be seen in the trailer. The part where you take Shin’s hand and he gets wings. Then he takes you around the world. 

The end. 

[armsdealing]

@neotropical​ said:  3, 6, 10 & 25 for charles 13, 14, 15 & 38 for marce

CHARLES.

3. how do they position themselves in a group? do they like to be the center of attention, or do they hang back at the edges of a crowd?

charles prefers to stay in the background, and preferably, not a part of the group at all. he dislikes crowds, hates drawing attention to himself more than necessary (since he's the sort of person that commands authority just by manner of physical presence), and he'd rather be on his own. if he must be part of some group, though, he'll stay in the back, let people focus on anything but him, only provide his input if it's absolutely necessary.

6. what are they like in motion – in different environments, and in different activities? what causes the differences between these?

so this question is a bit vague. but as a general rule of thumb, charles moves very gracefully, much like a feline. he's an animal shapeshifter, and some animal characteristics rub off on him, so despite his size, he moves as though he wouldn't be able to stumble even if he tried to. he's quite casual and lax about his mannerisms, but also purposeful. when he's working, he's completely in that moment, seamless in a way that can almost be absorbing to look at, and when he's sparring or training or fighting, there's a lot of decisiveness to his every movement too. basically, charles in motion is completely devoid of self-doubt or awkwardness, even when he moves in a sluggish fashion. this wasn't born randomly; it's a result of his mutation, his physical skillset, his experience and his overall personality.

10. what energizes and drains them most?

charles is an introvert. so circling back to the initial question — people drain him the most, and that's why he does not like being around them. he does not like having to talk at length, and does not like being the center of attention. any kind of socialization, when prolongued, really tires him. and when i say any, i mean any and all — even romantic interactions. after spending a certain amount of time with a significant other, he needs some time for himself, to decompress. none of this is personal, really, he just gets overwhelmed easily and that sensation can trigger his dissociative episodes.

similarly, what energizes him most is being alone. he likes to exercise too and that keeps him physically energized. likes to occupy his mind with work and solving problems, even small every day problems like fixing people's appliances. he seems lazy sometimes, but he's got a curious mind and he likes to keep busy in some way.

25. what do they need and want out of relationships, and how do they go about getting it?

when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships, charles is very practical. he wants maturity and he needs patience and he needs space, and little more than that. naturally, he gravitates toward independent, autonomous people. charles doesn't do well with clinginess, with insecurity, and emotionally demanding relationships and people that need a lot of reassurance about his feelings toward them. his love languages are acts of service (doing things for you, helping you when you need it, defending you, etc) and physical affection, and he's not one to put into words how much he cares — you might not ever hear it, or you might hear it very rarely, and you need to be okay with that. and if you're not okay with that, then that is fine, but that's what you need to keep in mind if you aspire to a relationship with him of any sort.

he's pretty straight up about this. he will never mislead you and he will be honest about his terms and how he functions, and he's a very "what you see is what you get" type of person. if he notices that any of this makes you unhappy, then he will simply end the relationship in the most cordial but straightforward manner possible.

MARCELO.

13. how do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? how does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? how do these tend to be expressed?

overall, marcelo is pretty optimistic. he would much rather focus on the positives and the things that go right, rather than the things that go wrong. he's also very aware that the world is a shitty place full of injustice and bigotry but he firmly believes there's ways to make it better and it's just a matter of putting in the work and helping those around you (and those that need it most) and being constant and vigilant. it's often not easy but it's what must be done. marcelo is always striving toward progress, he believes almost every problem has a solution and those that don't one can be alleviated in some form. overall marcelo makes an active choice to believe in goodness and that most people are good — even if that good is very relative, or it doesn't abide by conditions such as laws. morally speaking, he's a well established neutral good, leaning toward chaotic good.

this attitude doesn't tend to differ from person to person or the circumstance. sure there's times his mood may waver and his view of the world may become less benevolent but once he recovers he goes back to believing this. the source of this belief is his love towards others, and the love other people have for him. and his realistic views on the world come from his own experiences, the experiences of those around him. so there's a certain degree of "caution" to his optimism, he believes in keeping one (and those around you) safe from harm above all else too.

it all ends up expressed in the things he does, how he acts toward others. marcelo shows his caring disposition very freely, he's a very helpful person, very quick to smile, very quick to defend others. kindness is a choice and he makes that choice every day.

14. what do they care deeply about? what kind of loyalties, commitments, moral codes, life philosophies, passions, callings, or spirituality and faith do they have? how do these tend to be expressed?

well, i think a lot of what i said above can also apply here (maybe im just too stupid for these questions!). but — marcelo's loyalty lies with his family (the reyes more so than the marconis, really), and with his friends/loved ones. all of these loyalties were choices for him, and not something he considers himself forced to — something he wants to do, rather than has to. his life philosophy is more or less what i described above. spirituality or faith is a more complex matter; in his canon verse he was raised catholic and as he's gotten older he's become less and less inclined to believe in it especially following traumatic experiences such as the deaths of his parents. he is still spiritual but his religion, his personal relationship to god isn't really a source of comfort anymore, he does not practice it and he spends a lot of thought on it but not much comes from it because it's a complex problem.

in contrast with his "loyalties" and "moral codes", which color every aspect of his life, his religion — or lack thereof — is much more of a private affair. he does not talk about it and it's one of those topics that are simply off limits. this answer would be no doubt different if i was talking about Nueva Religión's marcelo, but this applies exclusively to canon marcelo only.

15. what kind of inner life do they have — rich and imaginative? calculating and practical? full of doubts and fears? does it find any sort of outlet in their lives?

marcelo is creative and imaginative but there's a sense of practicality to how he thinks. he is the kind of person that needs organization, structure, and order not just outwardly but inwardly as well. so his thoughts follow a very rational pattern, a calculating approach. it's no surprise he enjoys planners, flowcharts and spreadsheets. he's a perfectionist; a precisionist that likes to make effective use of every portion of his time.

in a way, the sheer whirlwind of activity that characterizes his life is the outlet. marcelo is very confident on this level, he's at his best when he's focusing on something (be it getting a choreography perfect or reorganizing his closet) and not having something to do is when he begins to feel unhappy or unsure. because there's a lot of unresolved concerns festering inside his mind, but he does not think about them much unless he really has to.

38. is there anything they wish they could change about their worldview or thought processes? what, and why?

sure. i think he would make himself less tightly wound when it comes to the things that affect him, the deep things he does not share with just anyone; he wishes he could voice them out loud and ask for help with them, and that asking for help didn't feel so difficult. he wishes he could be vulnerable more freely. this is something he might be able to achieve over time, or it might remain unsolved, it depends on how things unfold.

[spacejew]

oops accidental personal post I guess

It's weird that I almost feel the need to go here to personal blog again because of a handful of irl friends following what was supposed to be a private personal Twitter in theory, just for like, idk, internet strangers and friends I made online not those imported from meatspace. Also those character limits... Suffocating.

Anyways yeah things are kinda stable but dissapointing lifewise? I'm definitely in a rut and stuck somewhere I'm desperately trying to get out of. Also like. idk. Gender shit. I think I really fucked myself over hard when I made the decision a few years back to conviously bottle up all my dysphoria and trans feelings and bury them and repress them hard and just live as a very gay and feminine bi boy and like. hm. I think I've been happy since? But im thinking now that maybe. Because that's still a part of my psyche that haunts me every day. I might actually have been mildly depressed this whole time and like, still struggling to make important life decisions because of the anxiety of that. Idk. Maybe if I got a therapist and realistic attention to that all those years ago and it turned out to be very real n legit and i got to make tough choices and live my truth, I would be equipped now to actually be joyful and able to fully focus on hard work and taking risks and putting myself out there and being successful and shit. Idk idk idk. I just have to wonder if all this time I've actually been quite unhappy and filling the void with dumb shit and a good deal of dissociation and complacency. Idk. what I'm saying is maybe I made a big mistake there lmao and could've started transitioning, if that's right for me, 4-7 years ago maybe, who knows. Haha so fun. Fuck me. Big Regrets, lads. But also I still don't know if that's right. Which probs means it is who am I kidding. Oof. But it's ok life is a journey I'm full of wise shit and I know it's not the end of the world. It just kinda. Makes me so sad on behalf of the old me who would cry so much because of dysphoria and living in this body in this life. She knew. I don't know why I buried her alive like that. Anyways.

I spent all year struggling to make an animated short (which ended up being kinda long tbh like 10 minutes?) by myself mostly, just me and my mental blocks and executive dysfunction and shit, but I was v passionate about it and worked hard and got to actually bring a whole vision to life, with basically nobody to tell me what to do, just give me feedback that I wasn't obligated to follow. It came out pretty nice and I'm very happy that I got to tell exactly the story I wanted and try a cool new look and I just wish I gave myself more time to work on the actual animation part but I put my heart and endless weeks and months of refinement into the storyboarding and script and every little detail and I really feel accomplished and like it paid off -- and I even got to do a private screening at my summer camp job that I was called in to do one more time at the last minute right when I finished my film, it was a miracle and so perfect, everyone cried and truly loved it and felt touched by it. And then I went to animation festivals! And all this cool shit! But... I haven't been able to figure out a public screening thing yet. And I feel like all my excitement is gone now. And I really wanted to polish the look and some backgrounds a little, just some very quick rerendering and comp, but. I feel like too much time has passed, i just feel dissapointed. I haven't put it online yet cause I haven't done my public screening, cause of my stupid anxiety about little details and overall idk imposter syndrome I guwss I feel more ashamed of it than proud of it even tho it's probably good, and like I feel that everyone was excited to support me but probably nobody cares anymore.

Basically I had all the wind taken out of my sails. Oh and right when I was trying to get it off the ground I guess and push through, my grandma died. I'm so heartbroken I loved her so fucking much and. She never got to see the film cause of my stupid bullshit. I feel so bad about that. So so bad. Ugh. And it's a film very very hilariously blatantly directly based on me and my feelings and my real family history, ultimately besides other main themes it's about talking to your grandparents and family about the past and your current feelings. And in it the main character, a girl, cough cough even though it's basically me, cough cough go figure, gender shit, anyways the climax is her going back in time to talk to her great grandma, and it's very emotional and my best friend of like almost 10 years now composed and recording a music for that scene for me. And now when I eventually screen this, my entire family and also myself is gonna get torn to shreds by this scene more than intended because my own fucking grandma, who I was excited to show this film to more than anyone on earth, passed so unexpectedly without seeing it. Fuck. Why didn't I send it to her when she was in the hospital? Obviously cause if I did that that would make it real and she wouldn't get better and all I do is live in denial. Ugh. Anyways yeah. The point is I'm stagnant and in a rut right now and just want to move forward and focus on making new work and just get a real career relevant job already. Tough year hit a well needed high and now petering off back into misery. Not to be dramatic. I'm ok tbh I have a part time I'm slowly getting sick of and a loving supportive partner and some very good friends, tho not as many as I used to see regularly and that's kinda sad too. That's your 20s babey.

I just need to move on and make big changes. My pattern rn is like. Work fri-sun, if I'm lucky I get to hang out with friends or lovers, usually at least with my partner. on monday I recover from working. on tuesday I have dnd and usually get some stuff done but honestly just catch up on warframe with my clan friends. wednesday my partner and I got to the park and library for half the day and eat and draw and talk. on thursday I mentally prepare for work again and usually we go out to play another roleplaying game with her roommates friends. a lot of that free time that's been left unmentioned is spent being over at bae's sometimes so I don't have the ability to get much work done. Lately I've spent most of my time planning a dnd campaign which is fun but also too stressful on account of obviously I'm not playing it yet so like what's the point, sorry friends who have patiently waited for months for me to be ready to start the game for them. And also like. Yeah idk. just sad and confused and resting my weary heart and body after a very rough month after my grandma passed. But! I did accomplish a very crazy deep cleaning of my room. I threw out 14 bags of shit at the least. I wish I weighed it all, it was a lot. I feel so much more organized and cleansed from that. For the record I didn't have any trash in my room, nor was it every a mess. Just every single cabinet and drawer was crammed full of stuff and I guess I hoarded a lot of shit. I was able to throw away a lot of things I held on to be cause of sentimentality and I'm proud of myself for growing that way. So like. Idk. It's not all bad, baby steps. I still feel like I'm constantly improving as a person! I'm positive, optimistic. Just tired, anxious, and feel bad.

Also I finally got a new phone and because of my hubris I dropped it without a case and it shattered only two weeks in. The day I was gonna buy a case. But it's ok. Story of my life I guess. I can't keep everything pristine and polished forever, one day shit falls and breaks but it's still usable. It has character.

I wasn't expecting to dump everything like this, sorry yall. Thanks for reading I guess. Also I forgot how to do a read more on mobile lol sorry

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Musings #63: The Sleeping Prince. What if…Oscar falls into a deep sleep for the Merging of the Two Souls?

‘Sup FNDM fam! Happy New Year from the squiggle meister! For my first theory post of 2019, since Oscar is a perfect little prince now (hypothetically speaking), consider this for a sec. 

What if...for the Merge, Oscar suddenly falls unconscious, putting him out of commotion for when the heroes begin to commence their plan to commandeer an Atlesian airship with the group unsure of what to do to wake him back up.

As Jaune said last episode, they're not leaving for Atlas without Oscar. But what would they do if the Merge suddenly happens and he’s temporarily unable to aid them with their plan for Atlas?

In the fairy tales, it's usually a kiss of true love that awakes the sleeping princesses from their eternal slumber. If Oscar is expected to fall to sleep during the Merge (because I honestly can't picture him being conscious while unceremoniously merging), imagine if… it's love that ultimately wakes him up. Not necessarily from a kiss per say but I have this little hunch where Oscar will start to merge with Ozpin but it’s the love he feels both for and from the teammates he’s grown to care about that keeps him from resisting the part of the process that’s meant to make him disappear entirely; if that makes sense.

Remember the God of Light’s warning to Ozma before his first reincarnation? He told him that where he sought comfort, he will only find pain. In a sense, you can say the God of Light’s heed to Ozma happened twice within the cycle. For Ozma it occurred in his first reincarnation as Diggs after Salem, the former love of his life---the mother of his children---the woman he had refused the peace of the afterlife to return to, killed him with her very own hands as a final sign that she had lost herself to the darkness.

And for Ozpin, it was recently when his own allies turned their backs on him after promising they wouldn’t upon learning the truth. The first deceit came from Lionheart, a friend and member of Oz’s very own inner circle of trusted lieutenants. The second came from the group of young heroes whose lives he had promised to protect and guide. Even Qrow, a former student and long-time friend of Oz who completely devoted to him, turned his back to him and it is his words that made the old wizard turn to grief and isolation for the third time in his many lives (counting Ambroise and Emmanuel---the second and third reincarnations).

Who knows? Perhaps this will be a sign that Oscar is potentially doomed to meet the same fate being challenged by that same love and comfort in others that has left his predecessors crushed by grief? I’m not saying that the heroes will hurt Oscar (at least, not now after what transpired when they thought he went missing). But I can somehow imagine Oscar meeting a dishevelled and grief-stricken Ozpin again within his mental mind palace or Dreamscape and having the older soul mock his young successor for getting himself attached to the love and comfort he feels from the heroes. Imagine…that love and trust is what Oscar will hold onto as a lifeline to keep him from losing himself completely to the Merge?

While I’m aware that Oscar has come to accept his fate now, I can’t help but still feel like that’s all a front from Oscar. It could be just my interpretation, though. It’s just the way how he spoke in V6 C8 gave me the impression that Oscar had technically given up on wanting to resist the Merge while subtly foreshadowing that it could happen this same volume.

“…These past few days, I’ve been scared of the same things you were. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be…me. But I did some thinking and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left…”

It wouldn’t surprise me if in a later episode; Oscar does begin the Merge with Ozpin and will reunite with him in his mind for it. Don’t want to anticipate too much but it is a strong possibility of it happening especially since they do have the model of Professor Ozpin. I doubt they just made that for the opening. I feel like Oscar is going to meet Ozpin face to face in his mind and when he does, I think the two souls will have a confrontation that could either be just them standing around and talking (like Raven and Yang in the V5 finale) or end in them literally squaring off against each other in an all-out showdown. We’ve already seen two Maidens duke it out.

Will we get to see the two souls fight next?

I would think we should since it’s something that’s been foreshadowed since the first volume. I love the idea of Oscar literally fighting the Merge. Fighting Ozpin and fighting against losing himself. The thing that has always been hinted about the Man with Two Souls is them fighting for control. So maybe this will be part of the Merge? Oscar fighting against Ozpin for the chance to remain as himself.

We know Oscar has accepted disappearing one day but...what if… it's the love he feels from the team that convinces him he needs to fight to be himself. What if...Ruby shares another Rosebuds bonding moment with Oscar where she basically tells him to fight to be him. And since these words come from the girl we know Oscar greatly admires, it’ll hold a lot of weight and meaning in Oscar’s eyes.  

I didn’t particularly like how Oscar told everyone that he was going to disappear soon and everyone was…I guess, so clouded by their relief of him being safe to feel the full weight of his words in that moment.

I just found the fact that there is Oscar basically talking to group like he’s going to technically sort of die soon (I mean it pretty much had that final farewell sort of tone to it, for sure) and everyone is all happy smiles. Like…what? Why are you smiling? Yes, this is a happy moment but what’s being said and foreshadowed isn’t so…again why didn’t we get the characters briefly looking unhappy when Oscar brought disappearing only to perk up when he showed them that even though it’s bad, he’s still determined to do his best like the best boy he is? I dunno. It was a little weird moment for me and one of my gripes with this episode.

I think eventually when things simmer down and once the Merge actually legit starts happening before the team’s very eyes where Oscar gets down because of the Merge, that’s when the others will start to see the light of the child’s words and begin to truly panic about losing him.

Another thing that needs to be addressed are the group’s feelings now about Ozpin. Following the events of C5-C9 and now that Oscar has become an official valued member of the group (as himself), how does the group feel about Oz? This is why I found the happy-go-lucky smiles when Oscar mentioned disappearing for good to be off putting. The group do realize that if Oscar disappears for good, technically that could spell the team being back with Ozpin…kind of…sort of…maybe-ish. I dunno. I just want to know how the group feel about Oz now? Did Oscar’s disappearance also help them to forgive Ozpin too?

I don’t think that is the case which is why I hope it gets addressed in the remaining 5 episodes.

Overall, I just want Oscar to fight to be himself you guys. This is just my opinion here but personally, Oscar has been way too accepting of his fate. I understand that merging with Ozpin is a destiny that Oscar can’t run from. I understand that fully but…I still feel like he should want to fight to be himself if he could help it y’know what I mean? I don’t know if that’s possible or if it’s impossible for Oscar to not fight against losing himself. But nevertheless, I just want Oscar to fight to be him and for someone to tell him to fight to be him. Because Oscar is pretty great.

Plus I think that’ll be the be all end all to both Oscar and Ozpin’s conjoined stories, right? Either Ozpin’s run will conclude this volume and Oscar will take his place on the cast moving forward as his successor, now complete with his memories, knowledge, skills and magical capabilities (hopefully) while still retaining his personality.

So picture …Oscar accepting his fate but also fighting it at the same time. He wants to be a Wizard of Light like the others before him. He still wants to do everything in his power to fight to protect humanity and stop Salem once and for all. But he will not lose himself. So ...rather than Ozpin absorbing Oscar and his mind becoming dominant, it's the opposite where Ozpin becomes a part of Oscar while the former farm boy still gets to be himself.

Basically what some fans have been saying since the beginning that Oz will disappear and become a part of Oscar with our Barn Prince still remaining as himself but gaining all the memories and skills of Ozpin and all the Wizards before him.

Or…Oscar and Ozpin will fuse and this new fusion will be a perfect blend of them both signifying a perfect alignment between the two soul where it doesn’t feel like one has eclipsed the other. It’s both but at the same time it’s not them. Someone entirely new who is as much Oscar as the original while still having some essence of Ozpin in there.

Whatever the outcome, I do think the Merge could be a plot point set for the final few episodes of V6. Emphasis on could. But if it does happen, only then will Oscar’s true fate be decided once and for all. Either that or it gets delayed and Oscar goes into the Atlas Arc now fighting against Ozpin to let the Merge fully take him over. Who knows?

That's just me. Don’t know if you guys would agree or disagree. But anyways, as always, these are just my thoughts and theories. I guess we’ll see what the Writers got cooking for us when C10 premieres this Saturday.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

[lifeofamastersstudent]

Reflection | Workshop 2

 4th June 2020 | online workshop | 6 people - Group discussion 

Part 1 : Word Based

Activity 1 : State one quality about ourselves 

Some of the words I got where - Patient , joyful, calm & patient, indecisive 

Activity 2 : Pick ONE word out of FIVE

Player 1

1. umbrella - protected and safe 2. Water - calm and composed. I’m okay to go with the flow most times 3. can opener - I picked can opener because I can find solutions. 

Player 2

1.Music box - because I’m entertaining  2. Rainbow - it brightens the sky on a rainy day and I’m feeling hopeful right now 3. Door - feels like it allows people to come in. I am welcoming. 

Player 3

1.Ball - because I do things around sports and in a way, the ball can go in any direction.  2. Sand - it can take whatever shape you put it into  3. Stairway - I think theres no final point in my life. I think theres always something work in progress. 

Player 4 

1.Tree bark - because I’m grounded 2. Waterfall - I relate to waterfall because I’m very emotional.  3. Cloud - I am very moody - somedays grey and somedays white and my name itself means cloud

Player 5 

1. 2. Pillow - soft and cuddly. And in general its the best thing ever. I am the best shit ever. 3.  ocean  - I found ocean appropriate. Its very vast and its very deep and its also pretty dark. And its something I can relate my imagination to. And you know how some people are really scared of exploring the depths of the ocean. And its also a lot of pressure to take.  

Player 6

1.Rock - hard exterior  2. Waves - calm, it can be soothing sea and it can be a tsunami. extremes.  3. Shadow - its dark as I am in a lot of things that I think of. I can match peoples energy - I can imitate them. 

Activity 3 : You get ONE word, find a connection 

Slightly more challenging because you get one word and you must find a way to associate with it 

Player 1 

Boat - The way I could relate to the word I got is - well a boat can sail. I think if you know how to do it properly then you can withstand harsher waters. If you are comfortable and then you can handle it. If Im prepared about a situation if its tricky or difficult, I can handle it a lot better. 

Player 2

Thorn - I can be hurtful. I can get angry. I can also protect the flower. 

Player 3

Sharpener - I dont like to see anything negative in a person or even me. In my relationships, there are lots of things which are very different about them - id say for them. Some id change for me and some for them. I’m always looking to sharpen my skills and change relationships for the better

Player 4

Chair - my word was chair. I associate with it because I give people comfort so if someone comes to me, I do provide comfort. But it also stands on four feet. So I feel like my support system keeps me stable and that intern helps me to provide comfort to people. 

Player 5

Night - I feel like on one side, experiencing a really pretty night. I fee like I can empathise with people and provide comfort and on the other hand the night can also get terrors. The dark fucked up thoughts and depression that comes with it. A flip side thing. 

Player 6

Rain - it can be harsh and moody in a way. But also calming when you’re inside the house so it can have two different sides of a coin. 

Activity 4 : Draw metaphors for yourself 

At this point player 5 said how it was easier to draw the metaphor and it was a bit challenging to sit and word the drawing correctly. 

Player 1 - “ill never have enough of my blue crayon”

It means if there something or a person that gives me comfort, I wouldn’t lose that person and try really hard to keep them in my life. A thing or a hobby. Ill do everything I can make sure to have it in my life

“happy as a pig” trying to be positive and be happy with whatever situation. theres no point in being unhappy with given situations. 

Player 2- an open door with rainbow - an open door to happiness 

Player 3  - I took my words sharpener and sand  “harder, better, sharper, stronger” I’ve also drawn a sand watch. It takes the form of anything. I feel like theres always something missing, something is constantly happening. 

Player 4 -  so I made clouds because I’m really moody. And I drew the few people who always deal with my moods. 

Player 5 - drew an ocean - part of the ocean is beautiful and the bottom has dark elements ( a treasure chest, a piranha, a whale, a dead person. Also drew a book - but then once you know me I go on non stop. And the whisk is because I create. Its one of my tools and my little universe. And the rings remind me of the planetary movement. 

Maybe I can ask Player 5 to elaborate the new components she added and if there was any symbolic value to any of them.  

Player 6 - I mixed all elements. I drew a shadow version of the drawing. One where I create my own problems and then me trying to protect others from theirs. I just put a rock in there just because and I added a storm. Its a duality. 

At this point I also shared a few of my own - Tea pot , Music box , Egg 

I noticed during this activity that some people used words and images . So their words complimented their drawings. 

A challenge I faced during these workshops is how sometimes people brought in borrowed meanings into their objects. Like if an object reminded them of something someone said or did and it has some impact on them. Then they added that meaning into their story. Weaving it. 

This exercise didn’t necessarily add more value. Most people seemed to repeat their metaphors - only in some more detail. 

My follow up question to the players would be - did this exercise help build up and clean out the metaphors - make them more clear or was it just a repetition of expression - giving your thought a visual form?

Part 2 : Theme Based

Activity 1: State one quality for a tree

I asked people to give one quality to a tree. I now see that people applied some of these qualities when they were later asked to find similarities with the tree.

Activity 2 : If you were a tree, what would you look like

When I asked people to draw a tree that represents them - some people went into creating a version that would be ideal but which may not necessarily fit where they are in life - there was also imagination that came into play. 

Player 5 focused on her tree being able to give to the animal community 

Player 2 drew a tree that he found inspiring 

Player 1 emphasised how important it was to be stable and strong 

I think people focused on the “if you were” a lot more than if you were a tree, then what kind.

Activity 3: if this group of people are a single tree, what part would you be?

Player 1 said she would be the branch, she feels like she can support people but not as much as the bark would. 

Player 2 I would be the leaves because they are visually pleasing, they are calming and they are just hanging there. Taking in the sunlight

Player 3 I think I’m really like the roots , ike it absorbs the water, the foundation for the tree. The stronger and better the roots the better the tree grows

Player 5  for me id be the little hole in the bark because I fee like the older I grow the more I need this sense of home and feeling of belonging somewhere. Having a little shell to call my own. 

Player 4 I think id be the fruit because I think I’m sweet. 

Player 6 I picked a single leaf - I see us all as a group and all of us as single leaves. In a broader sense, a part of a whole - nothing standing out, nothing standing out but it makes a part of a group. 

Activity 4 : Pick a tree you most associate with. At this point I showed images of different trees. 

Player 1 picked a autumn tree because of the warmth

Player 2  went on the visually appealing one

Player 4  picked the one with fruits - because it looks similar to my tree that I drew

Player 6 picked two. First one because it was similar to the ideas and the drawing I drew.

Player 5 picked the one with fruits. Giving and inviting. The tree with green mush - a safe environment with other trees. 

Interestingly, player 5 was able to build onto the image of the tree and imagine what surrounds it. 

Player 3  picked the fruit one and the one above the autumn tree. Nishant says he has a lot to give - it doesn’t come right away, it takes a while. And in the other image - the surrounding of the tree impacted the tree. Seems adventurous - on a hill. 

Activity 5 : Make metaphorical portraits ( with new or old metaphors + physical attributes, if you like)

People did have fun making their metaphorical portraits but I think its because this group is very creative and involved in creativity hence they were more patient. 

(Some of the portraits can be found on the blog)

Overall Feedback 

Player 3 says, “ my eyes gravitated for things I was already thinking of” when it came to picking a tree.

Player 5 said she already had an idea for the tree and then I had to pick and choose. 

Player 5 said that when I gave her a word, she was able to talk about it and visualise. But when I gave an image, she had to compromise and make it fit. 

Player 3 said that some of the things people tend to draw are very specific to how we’ve been taught to draw them - like trees. For someone who isn’t much into arts. They might choose to draw a simplified tree that they are trained to draw.

Player 2 felt like although the activities were fun and the session was engaging. He didn’t really get a metaphor out of it at the end of the day

Player 6 suggested to - Give people one word and see how all people interpret it. 

Player 3 suggested that I test concepts 

Player 4 said that we are designers. We can think of things to associate with. Its harder for people who aren’t designers. 

I got suggestions to test this with an older audience and younger audience 

Player 3 said that people who are much older face different types of challenges and face mid life crises. Their responses could be irrational or bizarre. From a younger crowd, I did expect a lot of creativity but with an older audience that would change things. 

Player 4 said that she didn’t realise that a certain object could encompass the things I felt. I knew the overlying feelings but I didn’t visually associated it with anything. 

Overall Reflections

At times there was a focus on what I want to be as opposed to what I am 

Drawing the tree impacted picture selection. 

The creative background of this group may have impacted the workshop

The outcome may not have been entirely clear even with the creative bits 

People found it engaging and fun. 

People love to hear other peoples perspective on things 

Providing visuals can be very limiting when you start with people trying to give a glimpse of their imagination. 

The age might affect the creative output. And if the people are conditioned to think in a creative way. 

[moreracquetball]

what are some of your favorite things to write? in general, but also dialogue vs description and why,, also (though im sure you've been asked this before) which are your fav songs from the marvin trilogy & why? :0

Ahhh, i love love love love this ask a lot!!

My favorite thing to write is probs anaphoras (I think that’s what they’re called?) Here’s an example of what I mean from my Whizzvin College AU:

And Whizzer wants to go back to how things were before—when it was just fun, with mouths pressed against inner thighs and secret glances when out with friends and arguing for the sake of getting the other to take his pants off.

But no, no, no, Whizzer wants to go back to how things were before even that—when they hated each other and it seemed like it would always stay that way, with mouths shooting off snappy retorts and pointed glares when out with friends and arguing just for the sake of hearing themselves talk.

Whizzer wishes that Marvin had never kissed him that day. He wishes that he himself could have been smart and kind enough to not kiss Marvin back.

Anyone who’s ever read one (1) fic of mine knows that I like to use repetition of phrases and sentence/paragraph parallels. I just love how it makes the prose really flow with a rhythm, you know???

I really like description (esp bc then I can use metaphors and imagery and try to make pretty prose that just ends up sounding like purple prose when I read it back), but I think I’m wayyy better and more well-practiced at writing dialogue. My dialogue is never really choppy (maybe a little over-flowy at times but it’s usually p okay) and I feel like my descriptions (of another character, of the setting, of the narrator’s feelings, etc) is a hit or miss a lot of the times, so I’m more comfortable writing dialogue.

My favorite songs from the Marvin trilogy, you ask????

In Trousers:

1. My Chance to Survive the Night

It’s the most pivotal moment of the entire musical and the peak of Marvin’s character arc. After spending the entirety of the story having a sexuality crisis (wondering over whether he liked guys, whether he liked girls and guys, whether he liked girls at all in hindsight), Marvin finally accepts his homosexuality and commits to his true identity and literally says “that’s it for girls.” The music is also very jazzy and slow (compared to the majority of In Trousers songs, which have very fast melodies), and I just really loved Chip Zien’s voice here in particular. Esp at the very end, when he just lets it all go and starts belting it out, my heart skips a beat. It’s my favorite song of In Trousers.

2. A Breakfast Over Sugar

I love the exploration of Marvin and Trina’s relationship pre-divorce. Esp after knowing in hindsight how they react/treat to one another in the later sequels (obviously, I had listened to Falsettos before In Trousers and only knew of Marvin and Trina’s relationship in that sense as bitter exes), this song just brings a lot of context and depth to their relationship and past. It shows Trina’s desperation and willingness to play house and be unhappy, and it shows Marvin’s growth of character as he is through playing this charade and wants something real in his life - even if he has to give up all that he had ever known. The duet is also written very realistically and uniquely (it sounds more like free-flowing dialogue than lyrics to a song, if that makes sense??), and the slow piano just - ughhh, KILLS ME. Wow i ranted a bit sorry about that.

3. Another Sleepless Night

It’s one of the songs that gives pretty equal attention to all four of the characters and not just Marvin, which i really like. It also shows how Marvin has affected each of the women in his life even after years of separation and just how selfish Marvin has really been throughout his life and how much he has taken from these women. I’m also obsessed with the lines “I know this girl. I call her my wife. She is my wife. She is my thorn in the bushes. No happy endings and no fuss. What a girl, what a saint, what a wife ain’t is my wife. So I sleep in a bed too big for one person. I’m big for one person. But this bed is bigger than both of us.”

March of the Falsettos

1. This Had Better Come to a Stop

First of all??? Just the music in general is??? A full-fledged banger??? But even aside from the scarily catchy melody, I love how much it adds to the story by demonstrating like a “typical” day in their lives and how they all bitch and accuse and heart-break over one another. It shows Marvin’s selfishness and meanness, and it shows Trina’s anger and heartbreak, and it shows Whizzer’s frustration and helpless, and it shows Mendel breaking through the barriers of this tight-knit family and wedging himself in there, and it shows Jason in the background of it all, watching with wide, disappointed eyes. It also has the parallels between Whizzer and Trina (the whole “I met this man today…” and trying to make Marvin jealous; as well as the shared look of pain and the soft “this is all very neat”), which I am 100% HERE FOR OMG. And it has the blessed line: “AND STILL THE BASTARD DIVORCED ME.”

2. I Never Wanted To Love You

I could actually talk about this song for approximately 100,000 hours, so I’ll try to keep it short. For one, it’s right after the most climatic scene of the musical (”Marvin Hits Trina”), which makes the song all the more devastating. Mainly, love it because it shows 1) the complex nature of all these characters’ relationships/dynamics with one another (all of which have been driving the whole plot and theme) and 2) It’s the beginning of Marvin’s redemption arc and him confessing his wrong-doings and the root of his insecurities. I love the slow, melancholic melody and the harmonies and the lyrics, and it’s just - really really really powerful.

3. I’m Breaking Down

It’s def my fave solo of the Act 1 AT THE VERY LEAST. It’s just so hilarious and Stephanie J. Block KILLS IT OH MY L O R D and I love Trina a lot and it’s just one of the more light-hearted songs that never fails to hype me up and make me smile

Falsetto Land

1. A Day in Falsettoland

It’s just so pure and happy and I love the little piano bit. Mendel is esp hilarious in the first part (and it’s the closest that he’s ever come to a solo soooo i love it lots) and Trina is i c o n i c and the lesbians are sooo cute (Tracie KILLS IT ESP - OHHHHHHH HER “DO YOU KNOOOWWWW HOW GREAT MY LIFE IS?”) and it shows how Marvin and Whizzer’s relationship has matured and grown stable and less toxic and they all tell me that “everything will be alright” and every single time, I almost believe them.

2. Year of the Child

I just really love the melody and the choreography and vocals. Marvin and Trina are like so very cute in this song bc it shows how much they both adore Jason, and Mendel is such an icon, and it’s the introduction of the lesbians next door!! What more could you ask for????

3. What Would I Do?

Honestly I can’t even talk about how much I adore this one - how often I binge-listen to it and feel my heart sink and swell - how all the layers and melancholy and references and harmonies and just everything about it can move me to tears. It’s so so so so so good and so so so so important and I could write 10k words dissecting the lyrics and context and overall meaning and purpose, but for now i’m just going to shut up.

[cliveboney]

hhhhhh

im tryin to get over this & move on w/ my life so maybe making a post abt it will help

so i applied for a zine a while ago (well like. 2 weeks ago) bc i’ve never been part of one & i thought it might be cool (also free copy + $$ right yell heah yeehaw). from the beginning i wasn’t really expecting too much like im just basically like “it won’t hurt to just apply & see what happens”

so i spent a bit of time gathering up some recent pieces to put in my “”portfolio”” so i could send it over because like. applications were open but there was like a week until the deadline to send yours so i took advantage of that to finish up some drawings i’d been working on etc (that’s why i was suddenly super active on my art blog for like a week lmaoo)

Anyway i did all that & put it in my portfolio & then submitted it the day before the deadline & it was all taken care of, time to wait. the next step was for the organizers to post the list of accepted artists, so they did that & i checked & unfortunately i didnt make the cut which is like. cool, fine, i wasn’t expecting much anyway, right? they had a ton of applicants so chances were slim, etc etc

not gonna fuckin lie to myself tho ok i rly did want to be a part of the project & i was pretty proud of the things i had worked on in preparation for the application & yea i did think i had a p decent chance li ke i obvs didn’t know who i was up against & it could’ve totally been a bunch of amazing artists who blew me out of the water but i felt like my stuff was at least. u know. nice to look at 

anyway i didnt get in & i was like rip & the organizers were like “we’re gonna send out emails to everyone including those who weren’t accepted” & i was like ok cool at least this way i’ll know for sure they got my entry

except. i never got an email?? they were like “we’ll send them out today/tomorrow” & it’s been almost a week now & i haven’t gotten anything so now instead of moving on like i’m supposed to be doing i keep thinking about what if my entry didn’t go through, does this mean i actually did have a chance but some random error prevented it from happening? they had so many entries & there was so little time between the deadline for submissions & the announcement of the artist list, did they really look at all the entries, or did they stop before they got to mine? did i fuck this up by waiting too close to the deadline, ensuring that my work never even got considered? but if i had submitted early i wouldn’t have had any examples of my current work to show, and my art has definitely changed since the last time i posted smth i was actually proud of so it wouldn’t have been good to submit at that point anyway

im just fucking overthinking everything & it’s so. ugh. and im literally /literally/ the worst person for doing this, but i did look at some of the accepted artists & i did compare my work to theirs & i absolutely did feel like mine could have easily been accepted over theirs but then again i have the creator’s point of view i dont know what my art actually looks like, maybe it looks like shit maybe it looks dumb as hell with weird proportions & unintentional warping that just makes it so goddamn ugly no one wants to look at it & that’s why all the things im proud of never get reblogged, who knows!! 

i don’t know what the organizers’ criteria for judgement was & i dont know what precisely they were looking for all i know is i didn’t get into the thing i rly wanted to get into & im upset abt it despite my best efforts not to be & i wish i could just move on and try again next time but that was literally the only time i’ve ever seen a call for applications to a zine, i have no idea how tf people actually find these things because the only way i ever find out about them is when they’re done and being advertised to sell so even though i know it’s not the case this felt like a special one-time opportunity which is making the rejection feel even worse & im just overall rly mad abt this bc i went into this so casually & somehow came out so unhappy

i just wish i could forget about it & get on with more important things in my life like hmm maybe the one month i have left to catch up in my classes & not fail them both like uhhh this shitty 90 second animation for this shitty piece of shit class that someone somehow tricked whoever’s in charge into labeling an “animation class” for which neither of those words apply as there is teaching of neither animation nor any other fucking thing in the entire universe going on during what i like to call the Three Hell Hours, each referred to respectively as “i woke up this early and walked this far and climbed this many stairs for This”, “holy shit it’s only 9 am how”, and “just 55 more minutes until i can get the fuck out of this time trap and spend the rest of the day trying to figure out if this moment right now even happened or if it was all a terrible fever dream that i had while really spending the morning actually asleep”

this got away from me, it’s well past midnight, im tired and not happy ok, today was a bad day for no reason, just generally a shit day, i gave a presentation on my half-assed painting project today which was about aromanticism & ended up telling my class im aro which didn’t seem like a big deal at the time & probably isn’t in the long run but for some reason i’m regretting it big time now like i feel like i shouldn’t have been so casual like that with a bunch of strangers & i was trying to explain the project but people were confused bc i forgot that most people don’t even distinguish between romantic/sexual orientation & people know basically nothing abt aromanticism bc nobody ever talks about it except sometimes on the internet and hhhhhh it went fine and all but i feel retroactively uncomfortable at having been so open about myself in front of a bunch of people who Don’t Get It man what a wakeup call after having been online w/ people who do get it for so long

my only consolation is that i have a friend in that class who Gets It & she’s like. my one support in that class, she said i handled it well so that was reassuring at least. but god. i can’t wait for the semester to be over so i never have to go back & face those people again lolllool godddddddd

anyway that’s all the venting i want to do for now lmfao sorry about this i just. hohjhj