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hisdarkconsort · 8 months ago

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100 Questions

I stole this from another blog and it was from years ago but I don't care. Most people either don't know me at all or only know me from The Rabid House discord server which I'm no longer in.

1. What is your nickname?

Saturn or Shay but I definitely go by Saturn online lately.

2. How old are you?

35 but mentally like 18-20ish (sometimes even younger) and I'm not just saying that to be funny. I am autistic.

3. What is your birth month?

October

4. What is your zodiac sign?

I am a Libra Sun, Scorpio Rising and Saggitarius Moon

5. What is your favorite color?

Blue and Black...not together. I wear alot of black head to toe cause I'm an alt girl.

6. What’s your lucky number?

Thirteen...and no I'm not a T Swift fan.

7. Do you have any pets?

Yes, a cat named Dekker. He's named after the gay actor/musician, Thomas Dekker, who I just say is the male version of myself because we just have alot in common as far as interests go.

8. Where are you from?

USA in the Midwest

9. How tall are you?

5 feet 6 inches

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I own alot but I only wear my Vans

12. What was your last dream about?

I have been dreaming alot about someone else's Dark Urge character, no not Sylvan.

13. What talents do you have?

Absolutely none.

Obsessing over characters and/or people to the point I lose sleep and annoy anyone I talk to.

14. Are you psychic in any way?

I say yes, but I predict shit on accident all the time.

15. Favorite song?

I've never had a favorite song in my life because it changes constantly.

16. Favorite movie?

Well I was obsessed with the Twilight series for YEARS. And owned/still own a shit ton of merch and own all 5 movies in several different versions. (DVD, Blu-ray, Extended) Plus the little BTS videos they were sold seperately. I was also really obsessed with FSOG.

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

Nobody because I am Aro. But my perfect guy would definitely be gay or at least bi/pan and a perfect women would be a hot lesbian lmao. Everyone has to be queer. LMAO But I don't want a relatonship tbh.

18. Do you want children?

No.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

Absolutely fucking not. Churches make me highly uncomfy and I am far from religious.

20. Are you religious?

Does believing in science and the supernatural count? Christianity is a cult.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

Yes.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

Yes but never arrested.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

Not huge celebrities. But I have hopped into a live podcast just to talk to Thomas Dekker lmao and I used to talk to one of his besties occasionally on IG and she also followed me until they had a falling out. His sister still follows my rarely active IG account.

24. Baths or showers?

Both?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

Currently not wearing any.

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

No thanks.

28. What type of music do you like?

Everything.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

I have. I'll spare the story though cause its a big yikes.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Three.

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

On my right side.

32. How big is your house?

I live in a tiny apartment in an eleven story building.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

Left overs or whatever is available in my fridge that morning.

34. Have you ever left the country?

Never.

35. Have you ever tried archery?

Uh...no

36. Favorite clean word?

Trying to think of one...and I use too many dirty words...

37. Favorite swear word?

Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

3 days

39. Do you have any scars?

All over. I have acne scars, injury scars.

My bigger ones include my elbow from a bicycle accident when I was little, a round scar on my knee from getting pushed into my bed frame, and a cresent scar on my index finger from it getting shut in a heavy door at work that needed stitches and therapy. I still cannot bend my finger all the way but gaming with a controller helped alot.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

Not that I care to know of.

41. Are you a good liar?

No, I suck. I"m way too blunt and honest.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

No. I’m ridiculously oblivious and don’t want to assume things about people.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

I can do a shitty Kermit and a shitty british accent.

44. Do you have a strong accent?

No, its literaly midwest news reporter accent. I don't talk like a news reporter...just American news reporters lack accents so that they can sound clear?

45. What is your favorite accent?

I would say British or Irish but I'm so used to those accents because I watch so many things where people have those accents that I don't notice the accent.

46. What is your personality type?

I forget. I don't care enough.

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

I would say my old winter coat that I no longer wear...because one...it isn't my style and two...the zipper broke and it’s too small. My second would probably be my "The Shining" Vans.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

Like fold it? Yes. In both ways.

49. Do you have an innie or an outie bellybutton?

Innie.

50. Left or right handed?

Right.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

Mostly no. But if I see one suddenly and its moving fast...I might jump.

52. Favorite food?

Chicken

53. Favorite foreign food?

Italian Pasta dishes or Chinese food. Or Mexican.

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

I'm very messy and unorganized both. Its kinda embarressing.

55. Most used phrase?

I go through phases and its usually whatever the internet is saying. I keep up with slang even though I'm old. Lol

56. Most used word?

Honestly...the F word. I don't even realize I say it.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

Like 5-10 mins.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

Suck on them then bite when I think my teeth can handle it.

60. Do you talk to yourself?

Always when alone..out loud and I even have full blown conversations as if I were talking to someone else. Its very delulu but at least I'm actually aware I'm doing it. I think its a habit from my childhood that I never outgrew. I'm also autistic so it also might be why.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

Yes

62. Are you a good singer?

I stay in tune at least.

63. Biggest Fear?

Death

64. Are you a gossiper?

Sometimes.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

I can't think of one on top of my head.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

I had long hair as a young child and then my old step-mom cut it off and forced me to have short hair and I hated it for years and then when I moved out, I grew it long but now that I'm older I prefer it shorter even though right now it's long but that's because Im due for a haircut.

On other people...I dont have a preference.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

Yes, but not in order.

68. Favorite school subject?

Lunch ( I hated school)

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

Super introvert!!!!!

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

No.

71. What makes you nervous?

Dating. Not only does it make me nervous but it gives me major anxiety which now I avoid dating at all and have like no desire to.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

I used to be but now no.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

I want to but I try avoiding it because I come off as rude when I do when its not even on purpose. That's an autistic thing.

74. Are you ticklish?

I would say don't even try because I'll kick you in the face.

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

Not on purpose.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

Kinda. I hate it.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs?

Does weed count?

79. Who was your first real crush?

I had lots of crushes as a kid. None lasted very long.

80. How many piercings do you have?

Just 4 in my ears. I'v wanted more but I 'm a very lazy person.

81. Can you roll your R’s?

Barely and I sound weird when I do it plus I cant say words when I do it.

82. How fast can you type?

Um, not super fast but fast enough. I make frequent mistakes. And I don't use the keyboard properly like I was taught in school because I don't have very good control of my pinkies.

83. How fast can you run?

I used to be able to run pretty fast but then I got fat...

84. What color is your hair?

Dark brown almost black but I'm actually graying pretty bad at 35 (thanks mom) so I have a ton of gray hair and honestly I can't wait until its full gray so I can dye it fun colors.

85. What color are your eyes?

Hazel green but people mistake them for brown all the time because of my deepset eyes and the shadow that gets casted over them or something. I don’t really know.

86. What are you allergic to?

Liars and bullshit.

87. Do you keep a journal?

I tried in middle school but then my step mom at the time liked to invade my privacy so I stopped.

88. What do your parents do?

My dad is a delivery driver for a local delivery and shipping company. And my mom works for an art supply company and she works in shipping in the warehouse. My step-mom is what I call unimployed but runs a Bible study group and cleans her friend’s houses or house sits. My step dad works for a powerwashing company, travels for it and is only home on weekends.

89. Do you like your age?

I'm 35 and I feel 80 :/

90. What makes you angry?

Unpatient people and people who are rude. (From working in retail)

91. Do you like your own name?

My real name no, which is why I go by half of it.

92. Have you already thought of baby pet names, and if so what are they?

I want to name a cat Vegas but also now Astarion.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child pet?

I don't care.

94. What are your strengths?

Ask me another time.

95. What are your weaknesses?

Anxiety. Dweliing on things from years ago or just hours ago that I wish I can go back and change. I overthink alot which is why I don't date anymore. I come off as very negative and rude but it's mostly unintentional. I'm easily frustrated and overreact.

96. How did you get your name?

It comes from my dad's middle name.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

No. Atleast not on my mom's side.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist?

Yes.

99. Color of your bedspread?

Which one? I have two.

100. Color of your room?

White because I'm not allowed to paint.

#my stuff #get to know me

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literary-illuminati · 2 years ago

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Books I Read In June

24. The Chosen and the Beautiful, by Nghi Vo

Really, I should have read this one last year when it was getting all the buzz – it actually really mostly lived up to it!

But then, I’m the weirdo who actually enjoyed The Great Gatsby in the first place. If you didn’t at least kind of enjoy all the references and narrative fuckery with the source text. It’s, well, it’s not quite fanfic imo (at least, no more than Ten Things I Hate About You is. Which I mean if you want to argue the point you’d probably win, but), and if you come into it blind you’re going to miss like a third of what’s going on.

The whole urban fantasy aesthetic doesn’t really add much beyond, like, aesthetics and vibes and making the incredibly obvious metaphor wholly and completely literal re: Gatsby’s selling his soul. But, like, the book has so much fun with all the magical ‘20s decadence and literally occulted speakeasies and gay bars and similar.

25. Capital Without Borders, by Brooke Harrington

On a fundamental level the basic conceit of ‘anthropologist spends years learning the customs and folkways of a privacy obsessed community who feel reviled by the wider world – the private wealth managers of the ultrawealthy’ is just, like, incredibly funny to me.

But despite being incredibly dry and very, like, academic, this was actually shockingly readable. Actually pretty interesting, too.

I mean, in a ‘filled with despair and loathing’ sort of way, but still. Interesting sort of dialectic where the officials who actually serve the various world powers’ state apparatuses absolutely loathe the whole deal with tax havens and matryoshka dolls of trusts and charitable foundations and everything else, but despite ostensibly having basically unlimited coercive force at their fingertips they’re more or less helpless to do anything about it. Always fascinating to get a look at the people who the world works on behalf of.

And I admit I sort of have an aesthetic fascination with the sort of elite professional who ends up being a de facto social worker and relationship councilor for the much MORE elite family they work for.

26. Plague Birds, by Jason Sanford

I…thought this was a Hugo nominee? But apparently not? So, okay, zero idea how I ended up reading it.

Possibly my new top contender for ‘non-visual media which are still, spiritually, anime”. You know, post-post-apocalyptic setting of scattered villages watched over by benign village Ais and clans of dangerous hunters in the wilderness and wandering superpowered paladins who wear red leather and have bright red hair who are bonded to a super-powerful AI in their blood, and also the only character who isn’t at least kind of a furry is the apparently 16-year-old girl whose actually a myriad old alien spy.

Anyway! Decent romp, but honestly kind of fell apart in the third act, imo. Spent too long luxuriating in the (honestly very fun) worldbuilding, so all the actual plot and revelations had to be crammed together without having nay space to breath or feel natural.

Also the protagonist turns out to be, like, the most special child to ever exist Chosen-One-but-sci-fi, which I just generally despise.

Kinda a bit less than the sum of its parts, imo.

27. Across the Green Grass Fields, by Seanan Mcguire

Hugo novella nominee number 3!

This was fun! Not really much more than fun, but still – pleasantly tropey read, in a self-consciously fairytale-like sort of way.

I’m informed that it’s part of some wider setting/universe, but honestly you really couldn’t tell reading it.

Kind of amused at the apparent coincidence that this came out at (IIRC) basically the same time as a children’s tv show called Centaurworld, which I know absolutely nothing about except a friend stole the surprisingly terrifying villain to use in D&D.

Anyway, like, 3/5? The last thing I read by the author was Middlegame, and this is just honestly a pretty big let down by comparison. Doesn’t help that the general vibe kept me mentally comparing it with The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland In A Ship Of Her Own Making, either (not a flattering comparison for it).

28. A Master of Djinn, by P. Djèlí Clark

Hugo novel nominee number 4!

As a fan of pulpy weird alternate 20th centuries, this really was catnip to me. Buddy cop antics in a Djinn-haunted steampunk Cairo at the turn of the 20th century! A heroine who insists on wearing perfectly tailored English suits at all times despite living in early 20th century Cairo! A climax involving a giant robot and an evil wizard trying to restore the British Empire!

The vibes were sublime.

Beyond the amazing aesthetics there isn’t much to write home about, honestly – the setting is largely set dressing over a fairly conventional plot. Fun set dressing! The bit where the Brits and Americans are basically losing at imperialism because they went hard on the whole witch hunting things while everyone else went digging for local spirits to try allying with doesn’t necessarily make much sense, but is very funny to me.

29. Project Hail Mary, by Andy Weir

And Hugo Novel Nominee Number 5!

So I think I mentioned but – I did not know this was by the The Martian guy until I started reading it, but oh my fuck can you tell.

The tone is very..specific. I found it pretty grating, honestly, but not nearly enough to outweigh all the things the book has going for it.

So, it’s hard sci fi. Like, ‘extended asides to explain the scientific processes and technological breakthroughs as they happen for the education of the reader, most of the acknowledgements section is thanking different scientists for their help making it accurate’ hard sci fi. Honestly it’s to the books credit that the writing is just kind of twee and self satisfied, and not soul-witheringly dry.

The decision to have the protagonist wake up with amnesia and then slowly fill out the backstory as he makes do on the spaceship orbiting Tau Ceti he woke up from a medically induced coma in next to two dead crew mates was frankly an incredibly good decision, because the earth chapters are a) clearly just an excuse/justification to get him to Tau Ceti and b) just incredibly boring.

But, like, I really cannot overemphasize how much I just adore first contact scenarios where both parties are awkwardly trying to understand each other and work out some sort of mutually intelligible way to get information across and solve some desperate problem together. The aliens were so lovingly amazingly weird, too – both the astrophage and whatever Rocky’s species are called.

I literally read it travelling halfway across the continent, so can confirm that it’s a great airport read.

If Hollywood isn’t a bunch of cowards they’ll spend $100 million to make this one a movie too.

30. The Past Is Red, by Catherynne Valente

Hugo novella nominee number 4! Getting close!

Valente’s pretty easily one of my favorite writers currently working, and this did absolutely nothing to change my mind about that. I mean, a bit heavy handed – the setting is quite literally the city-sized island of trash floating above the waves after the seas have risen and drowned the entire world – but still, it’s the sort of ever so slightly surreal magical realism I’m really very fond of.

The prose was just relentlessly sharp and occasionally mean spirited and really consistently great, imo. For whatever reason ‘hope that’s just greed, going by it’s maiden name’ has gotten thoroughly stuck in my head.

Tetley as a protagonist is just generally amazing and wonderfully tragic and interestingly broken, really.

Anyway, haven’t read Elder Race of A Spindle Splintered yet but really solidly my favorite of the hugo novellas I’ve read so far.

#book review #monthly tally #The Past is Red #catherynne m. valente #project hail mary #andy weir #a master of djinn #p. djèlí clark #across the green grass fields #seanan mcguire #Plague Birds #Jason Sanford #Capital Without Borders #Brooke Harrington #the chosen and the beautiful #nghi vo #analysis/review

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absolutebl · 4 years ago

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This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed.

Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing.

Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something? *** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7).

Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you.

Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.

Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much.

1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course). Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it).

-- H4 Moment of RANT --

Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it?

I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2).

Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.

-- RANT ended --

Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely.

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc.

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head.

Stand Alones

Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy.

Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.}

Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary.

The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade.

Breaking News

Spring Line Up:

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th

Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22.

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.

Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV

Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu

Gossip

Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it.

Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad).

New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

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slam-dunkrai · 2 years ago

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long post, so under the cut. tl;dr that new album by that band I like? it’s good

Now that I’ve had about three or four goes with the new black midi album, Hellfire, I have to say I can’t think of many bands at all who I have such high standards for — I think it’s their weakest project to date, and yet I remain enamoured with it. About 70% of this is because Still, while a very good love song which is also one of few things I can describe as “country-tinged with some exquisite sax work”, doesn’t quite do it for me like a few of their other slower and lusher numbers while feeling at odds with the rest of the album in terms of overarching theme and feel; all of this I would be more willing to overlook if it wasn’t six minutes long. The remaining 30%: Dangerous Liaisons is excellent but there are times where it feels like it relies a little too much on the theatrics and feels ever so vaguely like black midi by the numbers. It also has the opposite problem where it is maybe a little too explicit about the album’s theme, though I am willing to overlook that for the line “this was no mafioso, this was Satan himself!”

The album does everything else so excellently that I don’t have many qualms at all giving it my highest recommendations to anyone and everyone curious. I stand by the post I made earlier where I said Sugar/Tzu might just be their best song yet, and as the first song proper, it really sets the tone for what the album does so well: like all the best concept albums, it’s about various characters (some recurring) doing terrible things mostly born out of their own insecurity but also just for the hell of it, and those terrible things are varyingly ridiculous in ways that could be comments on the thirst for fame or toxic masculinity or how far one’ll go to alleviate boredom and could equally be there because they are built around a completely absurd, but very funny, mental image. Sugar/Tzu is the most ridiculous because it’s from the perspective of a child who murders a boxer mid-fight, and the song itself is ridiculous but it’s also (adequately for the subject matter, and I liked how the music video played with this) absolutely pummeling, between the 100 mph riff and the somehow even more impressive drum fills; this is to say nothing of the vocals, which are overblown and goofy in all the right ways (”WEIGHING IN AAAAAATTTTTT / SIX HUNDRED POOOOOOUNDS,” and so on), but not too goofy so as to render the story completely unbelievable.

I don’t think I can really put any doubt onto the fact this is their most technically impressive record yet, but I think what saves it (mostly) from verging on the band showing their chops just for the sake of it is that the band seems to be having a lot of fun being completely unhinged while knowing when to show restraint. A lot of these songs are fairly short, clearly built around a building and release of tension. Welcome to Hell and Eat Men Eat, the other two singles, both fit this mould; the former (befittingly about the pressure a spurned military private feels to commit murder) has its main riff getting more and more intense before dropping that thrash metal section on you, the latter is an avant-prog-flamenco piece about two gay lovers blowing up a mine to escape poisoning and torture and is therefore obviously perfect; the closer, 27 Questions, seems to be the album’s acknowledgement that it is black midi going full theatre kid except the titular questions are interrupted by their asker dying on stage; you know how it is. The Race Is About To Begin is the centrepiece of the album, and I won’t say much more about the little trick it pulls on you; you’ll just have to find out that out yourself, won’t you. The clue is in the name. I have seen a couple of people take issue with the intro being a little on the self-congratulatory side, but my own take on it is that it is from the perspective of a guy who sucks and has a massively inflated ego and I also think it’s a good enough song that I don’t really mind either way.

(The Defence is the only other song I haven’t mentioned here: it’s the other slow, lush number on the album, except it’s shorter, grander, and delivered with the exact right amount of sincerity from a protagonist who is so clearly deluded and stubborn. It’s very good!)

I don’t think this is as cohesive as Cavalcade, which did the mellower moments so damn well and which has its ambiguities in subject matter that help bring about that special extra piece of charm; comparing it to Schlagenheim feels like comparing two completely different bands -- the weird progressive-rock fellas who keep singing about boxing and guys who are messed up vs. the weird noise-rock fellas who keep singing about [inscrutable] -- but, pound-for-pound, I think that’s the stronger album by a teeny, tiny amount. But the highs are so high, the concept is so tantaliting, and the riffs are so head-spinning that I think Hellfire is not at all out of place in what has taken all of three albums to become one of the most impressive discographies that I can think of.

No, I’m not thinking about how the members of the band are at most two years older than me, shut up

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dontbesoevil · 4 years ago

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Let’s talk about the dinner scene (and the entire latter half of ep 9)

Can we talk about That Scene? The dinner scene? (and the aftermath) When I started watching this show, I knew there would be meta, but I didn’t expect for it to be so real! Man I haven’t felt so attacked in my core by how real a storyline was since watching Gaya sa Pelikula (I don’t think I’ll talk about it more here, but if you feel like reading my thoughts on this show, I wrote a 1900-word review on MDL about it). I think every single queer person has experienced or fears that they will experience a scene such as the one that Gene and Nubsib experience. It is something that shakes you to your core even if you know it is coming.

I’m putting a readmore because this got a bit too long

It is so important to me that Gene and Nubsib talked about it before and that Nubsib said to Gene that he would 100% support him, that he did not have to do it, and that regardless of what happened, he would continue to support him all the way. Because they both knew that the battle would be difficult and I think they might not have gone with it if they hadn’t had that talk before. But they did. And then That Scene started.

Not gonna lie, I had to stop watching that scene and I had to take a break because I was shaking and it triggered me and brought me some bad memories. I am lucky that I have the most accepting mum ever, but I have been in situations where I felt like I had to hide and was just a shell reacting and observing every single details of everyone’s behaviour because if I were to step outside the lines they would know and I would be thrown to the lions. If anyone had to go through this, especially for an extended period of time, they know how traumatising an experience it can be (i.e. as opposed to remarks which is also traumatising, but more in a micro-aggression type of way). The incident I am talking about was 6 years ago and although I am mostly over it, it has scarred my relationship with some people and groups probably forever.

This scene was so powerful because of how well it was done. @jiminisverynofun said it better than I would when it comes to the mothers in that scene and the next, but I am so glad they are tackling the fetishisation of mlm relationships by straight women and the very real impact it has when it is only objectification and not any kind of real support.

Something else that I also see in the reactions of the others around the table is the brothers. In the previous episodes, we have seen them be somewhat supportive of the whole thing (although not necessarily in the best way) and here when seeing their parents act in such homophobic ways, they not only not say anything and go along, but they even go further and say really homophobic words, all the while knowing about their brothers. They redeemed themselves (at least Jab, but I’m assuming Sib’s brother’s too) afterwards by defending their brothers when it was just them. But the fact is that they also played along with the homophobia. They did the reverse of what the mothers did. The mothers were okay as long as it was a fiction and then were distraught when it turned out to be real. But the brothers both said homophobic things about gay people in general even if they support their brothers individually. It felt a bit too much like those people who shout against immigrants being the worst, but telling their immigrant neighbour: “oh but not you because you are a good one.” I get that it is hard to get in front of your parents, truly I get it, but I feel like they still went too far the other way, either because of fear or because they truly think that (in which case, boys, start working on your homophobia because you are the only allies your brothers have in the family and they don’t deserve shitty allies).

And then the dads. I am mainly going to be talking about Gene’s dad because we haven’t seen too much of Nubsib’s dad and the preview made it seem like we’ll see more of his pov next time (but I feel like a lot of the same things are applicable to him). I spent the entire scene (and the ones after) wanting to deck him and I wrote so many “fuck you” and other sentences where I was not very polite towards him in the chat because he made me absolutely furious. I was like *surprised Pikachu* when Gene said that he’d dated guys before he dated his mum. I don’t whether he’s gay or bi and honestly at this point I do not give a single shit because he went too far and his internalised homophobia is no excuse for the constant abuse and homophobia he has thrown at his son for years. Nothing could excuse it and even if he comes to realise the error of his ways, he’ll need to do way more than just say sorry for me to be okay with him coming anywhere close to Gene (I need someone to make me a Gene protection squad banner). I am so glad that Gene, soft spoken Gene, confronted him and did not let him go. That scene was directed like a theatre scene. When I started the scene, it jumped at me! The mum at the window, the brother at the table, and the dad on the couch. And Gene just kept talking at the dad who was cornered on all sides. Regardless of the other two characters who still have (more or less) atoning to do, I’m expecting the brother to be helpful by next episode and the mum by the end of the show, the one who needs to be worked upon is the dad. I know it, you know it, Gene knows it. And this is why he is not letting go. His dad has always been treating him as a child (I think it is him who says they are just children when at dinner, but I cannot remember and I am not strong enough to go and rewatch it) and he doesn’t want to have this conversation so he just tells his son to “go to his room” (i can’t remember exactly how old he is, but it’s something like 27, so his son who’s been an adult for 10 years and presumably was already pretty autonomous before because his dad had sent him to boarding school because of the GayTM). I am so happy for Gene standing up for himself. I am so happy for Gene telling him that he is gay and using those words when you could see only a few scenes before that he wasn’t completely there yet (did I pause at that point to cry? Yes, yes I did). Gosh I am so proud of Gene!

But going back to the dinner scene proper and what I was talking about re: Nubsib and Gene talking before and knowing what the other wants (they both want to come out and Gene says explicitly to Nubsib that he doesn’t want to hide anymore (and he knows his dad so he knows that he will probably react as he reacted). And then you have That conversation and you can see the two of them looking at each other (gosh the number of silent conversations they’ve had this episode, I want what they have!). And like as hard as it is, they have each other. And then you have Gene starting to come out by asking a question “and what if it’s true?” (this feels way too real and I relate way too much because talking explicitly about things like that is way too hard so you find a way around it, you wait for the others to say something that you can react to while not saying explicitly what you want to say) And then Nubsib sees this, understands it for what it is and goes for it because he is way more sure of himself and secure in his identity. And they have each other, they look at each other, they hold hand (talking about Gaya sa Pelikula, this very much reminded me of the hand holding between Vlad and Karl duing That dinner scene too). I am so happy that they have each other and that Gene can use Nubsib to help. I relate a lot to Gene and it is easier to talk about your relationship to someone than what it means, but once you’ve talked about the one, it’s easier to talk about the other.

This scene was given all of the space that it needed. I am so glad that they decided that time didn’t matter and that they could give us a 1h27 episode because I did not feel like something was missing, but I also did not feel like something was unnecessary about that whole section (or any of the ones before because you can really see the development of their relationship (not that I don’t have any gripes with some of the lines and story choices, but this is not the place). I’ll probably finish this and be like “oh no, I forgot to talk about this”, but I’ve already gone and written 1500 words so I should probably stop.

#lovely writer #lovely writer spoilers #lovely writer meta #it's also 1:30am and they deliver our new dishwasher tomorrow morning #i don't know if any of this makes sense and i have not proofread it so fingers crossed #feel free to comment and reblog if you have further points to add #i'm pretty sure i forgot some of my ideas halfway through so not everything might make sense

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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years ago

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I’d always prided myself on being able to meet people IRL. Who needed dating apps? Not me. But when I turned 23, I came out as bisexual, and suddenly, I began struggling to meet potential romantic partners the old-fashioned way. The confidence I once had with women slowly dwindled, until it seemingly vanished entirely. Foolishly, when I came out, I thought the world would be my oyster. I believed Woody Allen when he said, “Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”

Instead, the opposite occurred. I’d tell women I was bi, and they’d quickly reply, “Oh, I can’t date a guy who’s bisexual.” So I started waiting a few dates until the women got to know me better. I figured once they liked and trusted me, they’d feel more comfortable dating a bi guy. That’s when I started getting ghosted.

During the time period women assumed I was straight, I didn’t feel like myself. I kept obsessing over what their response would be when I eventually did come out to them and feared my effeminate mannerisms would turn them off.

Gay men, while typically responding more positively than straight women, simply pretended I was gay. They’d ignore the fact I was bisexual, only to get uncomfortable when I brought up an ex-girlfriend. Yet they had no problem bringing up their ex-boyfriends. Or, they assumed I would eventually transition into “full-blown gay,” and were patiently waiting for me to make the big announcement. When it didn’t come, our texting would peter out.

So I downloaded Tinder. At first I didn’t put that I was bisexual in my profile — not because I was ashamed, but because I thought more people would Like me if they didn’t know. I could tell them later. But then I found myself breaking the news before agreeing to meet up in person and getting rejected over and over again.

It’s exhausting being rejected no matter the reason, but when it’s for something innate to your identity — something you can’t change — you’re left feeling discouraged, until discouragement eventually morphs into hopelessness.

With nothing to lose, I added “bi” to my profile. Those two simple letters changed everything. Quickly, the number of matches I had with women dropped by at least 90 percent, and that is not an exaggeration, but the matches I did make were much more meaningful. I didn’t need to officially “come out” because they saw my sexuality on my profile and Liked me, which alleviated a lot of pressure. We also tended to actually chat more on the app and eventually meet up.

Prominently displaying my sexuality filtered out people, in particular women, who wouldn’t date me because of my sexuality. Most of the time, my matches were queer or if the women were straight, they loved dating bi men. In their experience, openly bisexual men were less concerned with gender norms and often better in bed. Of course, I loved hearing this, and this was a couple years before Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, Ph.D. published her book, Women in Relationships with Bisexual Men: Bi Men by Women, in which she interviewed 78 women about their experiences with bi men, and found that well, dating an openly bi guy is the absolute best.

For the first time in my life, women wanted to date me for something that others ostracized. I felt empowered and optimistic about my romantic future.

Ross, a 27 year-old living in Chicago, had a similar experience when he added “bi” to his profile. “The few women that do [Like me] are generally more open-minded or even consider themselves on the queer spectrum,” he says. “The ratio of queer to straight women I’ve dated is drastic.”

I also found myself meeting more bi men. Men who didn’t explicitly write “bi” on their profile, but would happily say something the moment they saw I proudly displayed my sexuality. Except for my current boyfriend, who identifies as gay, every person I’ve dated seriously has identified as bisexual or queer. I don’t think that’s coincidental. When you have shared experiences with discrimination, it’s easier to date. You share common ground and trauma.

Michael, 42, who lives in Somerville, Massachusetts, has a boldy bisexual Tinder profile picture. The image depicts him opening up his suit to review a big purple “Bi” shirt, à la Superman. “I’ve always had something written about my sexuality as a filter,” Michael says. “I figure it’s important to list big, fat deal-breakers upfront, like being non-monogamous, for example.”

He credits this transparency for his positive experience. “I often attract people who are relieved someone is being open about being bi,” he says. “I get compliments and responses of solidarity, which is sometimes enough to make up for the crappy bi-hating behavior I otherwise see so frequently.”

Like Michael, I too have encountered what he so eloquently called “crappy bi-hating behavior.” It wasn’t all rainbows, unicorns, and acceptance once I updated my bio. I had people take in upon themselves to tell me bisexuality doesn’t exist. Some folks only matched with me to then “prove” that I’m not bisexual since I’ve “only had sex with men for the past six months.” But do you know what’s great about online dating? You can unmatch those people. You don’t have to reply. You don’t have to engage. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

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the-kipsabian · 3 years ago

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wrestling asks: 1, 2, 5, 13, 14, 16, 19, 24, 26, 27, 28, 30, 37, 39 ~

1. favorite current male wrestler im trying to think who ive been flipping my shit over the most recently, but yeah i think we have to go with trent. youve heard me literally cry over him the past few days and while yeah theres a lot of names up there with him, currently i think i can name him my number one. greg just makes me very weak fucking fight me

(rest is under a read more cause man there ended up being a lot of things lol)

2. favorite current female wrestler god this one is. so much harder tbh. i love so many girls but i also dont know if ive really ever picked any faves from the current rosters. tho now that i think about it, i might just have to give it to deonna purrazzo? shes amazing and watching her recently has been an absolute treat, god what a queen

5. favorite tag team why would you do this to me. how am i supposed to choose. my brain is fighting over so many rn but i think. it has to go to breezango? theyve been so entertaining since the very beginning and i still very dearly love these bois, they are talented as hell and deserved so much better than what they were given tbh

13. the best looking diva female superstar i can answer this one again since theres a many lol (i say and immediately my brain locks up as i cant think of anyone LOL)

buuuut lets do zelina. cause she makes me gay and shes tiny and just. helluva cute. fight me. also a literal queen so hell yes we stan

14. the best looking superstar uuuUUUH. fuck do i need to pick another one LOL

lets go to the other end of the spectrum, kip sabian! hes cute, i love his hair, his smile could destroy me for days, CROP TOPS and. i dont mean to objectify but dat ass tho

16. the best gimmick i already talked about seth so lemme bounce around a bit and mention mjf

not only is he better than you (and you know it). but he takes that to such extremes its amazing and hilarious at the same time. hes so over the top it works perfectly for him, and how he keeps the kayfabe going outside the ring too is fucking fantastic. hell he literally puts his own parents on blast on social media sometimes its fucking wonderful. he absolutely owns that shit, despite not being like the top guy of the company or even having held any titles recently, but there he just goes - being better than anyone else cause fuck you thats why. its fucking amazing i tell you lol

19. the best mic worker god theres. probably like ten million people i could mention in this one lol. im just trying to think who i love listen to speak honestly, but im trying not to be biased to my. other tastes lol (looking at you jay, i love your accent but my god it gets hot in here when you get angy and that doesnt work for this one LOL)

..you know what i think i gotta give this to cm punk. thats kinda outside the box for me but its also a very obvious answer, cause this man is very good tho. the way he speaks speaks volume and the way he talks is high key just mesmerizing. you just gotta listen to every word he says whether you like it or not. and im not even talking about the legendary promos rn, but just in general. this man is a god on the mic honestly

24. which wrestler would you like to see make a return? oh my god.. well i mean. define a return tbh. if we're talking about ppl that have retired officially, im heavily leaning towards aj lee tbh cause man i miss her in the ring.

if we're talking about just someone that hasnt been in the ring for a while due to, well you know, company bullshit releases. definitely breezango. i know dango is active but i havent seen him in anything cause im too lazy to try to look for stuff, but breeze hasnt done anything and im like. pls my boi come back i miss you and your precious face and in-ring abilities :(

(..also do kip and trent count for this like they are both out with injuries and i miss them both dearly i need my dumb bois back on screen pls)

26. one unpopular opinion of yours. ..impact is the best wrestling there is on television right now. dont even fucking @ me you know im right LOL

27. who do you consider underrated? ..how much can i repeat myself if i say kip sabian? man is hella talented, absolutely unrecognized about it, and he deserves the world. also a huge ass sweetheart and im just ugh. pls return soon kip ive seen your 'underrated and over it' stuff i need you back to kick ass soon plEASE

28. what about an over-rated wrestler? how many toes am i ready to step on is the question LOL. im gonna take the easy way out on this and just say charlotte, i never really got behind her hype and while im not denying her talent or anything, i just think theres more deserving girls in the roster that could easily take her place and at least slow down her title reigns cause man. i get it live up to the dad hype cause you brother couldnt but holy shit creative calm the fuck down okay

30. you get to make your own stable. who would it consist of? what is their name? listen i think we already know im bad at names so im just completely gonna sidestep that one LOL. also im taking this question as like. who would i put in a stable together, and not as who i would be in a stable together with, so lets roll with that lol

..tho ive been sitting on this for fucking ten minutes now and my brain is completely empty. get back to me about this at some point maybe i'll eventually have an answer for you lol

37. if you were on the original nxt who would you choose as your pro? are we only including ppl in that timeframe or can i pick whoever i want? cause if its whoever, its sami zayn. he has a style i adore, i feel like that would include some really fun on-camera chemistry, and he would either just enjoy being there or make it into a very dramatic "reality tv" which would also be fucking hilarious. also its sami, its a really good chance to actually learn something really valuable even tho this isnt like. probably actually couching and shit but you know. i'd never miss that chance tho

39. what is your best wrestling related memory? can i name three? cause i think i have three lol 1. when i introduced this interest to my wife like last year. im very selfconcious when it comes to telling ppl about my interests that are kinda out there, cause ive been dealing with a lot of shit that comes with it for a loooong time tbh, but its a huge part of me and shes my best irl friend and i was like. im gonna do it she can judge me all she wants. and she got SO into it and was super excited that i shared this with her and we watched a whole lot of stuff that weekend and everything was super great. god i love her

2. my first ever live show. so wwe took like a ten year break between coming to finland, and then they decided to show up again in 2019. now me and my brother are both adults compared to the last time they were here, we were both making our own income and were like FUCK IT LETS GO. and thus we ended up in our first ever live show. i still fucking tear up thinking that oh my god i saw all these peeps live. i was one of the few people (there was like. four of us, me and my brother and some kiddos across the arena) chanting 'sami zayn sucks' which is still one of my fondest memories ngl LOL. such an emotional and amazing night, would do again in a heartbeat and i dont even watch this company anymore lol

and 3. those two nights we watched battle in the valley with @ss-trashboat (feels high key weird to tag you in this since you asked this LOL). the first night the whole karl thing happened and i fucking lost my mind, you literally heard me cry on voice. and the second night just. as a whole. seeing buddy again after months since his release, you freaking out over will, just juice, both of us losing it over jay. and being sleep deprived to hell and back on both nights cause lol timezones and just man. i love wrestling and i love you so much this whole thing honestly meant so much to me im ah <33

wrestling asks ~

#ss-trashboat #thank you for asking! <3 #have i rambled enough am i now free lol #also putting this under read more cause theres. a lot. sorry not sorry woo

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taylizmasterpost · 4 years ago

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TayLiz Returns (August 2011 - January 2012)

Now, Taylor’s music suggests her and Liz got back together and broke up a bunch of times. It’s kind of hard to pinpoint that exactly, since they’re on tour together constantly and can’t really have a break from each other that would be discernable by an outside source such as myself. However, this is the time for it! Time for mess! Time for fun!

9 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago. Taylor covers Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy:

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The lyrics that stand out here to me are:

Is this more than you bargained for, yet? Oh don’t mind me, I’m watching you two from the closet Wishing to be the friction in your jeans Isn’t it messed up how I’m just dying to be him? I’m just a notch in your bedpost But you’re just a line in a song

Of course, once again. Taylor could just like the song. But I think it’s interesting.

10 August 2011 - Speak Now in Chicago night 2. Taylor covers I Want You to Want Me:

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This one is REALLY INTERESTING in the wake of Liz’s breakup. Some choice lyrics:

I want you to want me I need you to need me I’d love you to love me I’m begging you to beg me

Oh, didn’t I, didn’t I, didn’t I see you crying? Feeling all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dying

So does Taylor want her back? Or does she just like the song? Could go either way.

16 August 2011 - Taylor goes on a Girls Trip to Charleston with Liz, Caitlin, and a few other friends. Now, in a birthday post years down the line, Liz would reveal that Taylor specifically planned this trip because Liz was having a good time (We’ll get there in Late-Stage TayLiz). This feels like healing breakup blues to me.

While there, Liz tweets about possibly sharing a bed with Taylor again:

Taylor takes some great black and white photos of everyone that will show up in a later photo blog and Liz tweets about how much she loves retro photographer Taylor:

18 August 2011 - End of Charleston trip.

Liz tweets about Taylor healing her heartbreak blues:

That night is Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Find the Grace in the things you can’t change, and help somebody if you can.” Taylor covers Complicated by Carolyn Dawn Johnson:

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Choice lyrics, you know the drill:

I’m so scared that the way I feel is written all over my face We used to laugh, we used to hug, the way that old friends do But now a smile and a touch of your hand makes me come unglued

I wanna hold you close, I wanna push you away I wanna make you go, I wanna make you stay

Another friend tells me that my name is always on your lips They say I’m more than just a friend, they say I must be blind Well, I’ll admit I’ve seen you watch me from the corner of your eye

What an utterly appropriate post-Charleston trip song.

19 August 2011 - Speak Now in Alberta. Arm lyrics: “Hey brother, we’re all learning to love again.” – Mat Kearny’s Learning To Love Again.

22 August 2011 - Taylor posts “The Charleston Photo blog” on MySpace, featuring pictures from the Charleston trip:

So, clearly, they had a good time.

23 August 2011 - Liz quote tweets Taylor about the Charleston photo blog:

27 August 2011 - Speak Now in LA. Taylor covers Bette Davis Eyes:

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Now, not only is this an EXTREMELY GAY COVER considering it’s about how beautiful a woman is, but Bette/Betty is a popular nickname for Elizabeth. And just look at the lyrics:

And she’ll tease you And unease you All the better, just to please you She’s precocious And she knows just What it takes to make a pro blush

IS THIS NOT EXACTLY WHAT’S BEEN HAPPENING EVERY NIGHT DURING BETTER THAN REVENGE? TEASING? UNEASING? MAKING A PRO BLUSH??? Hmm, Taylor, what an interesting choice of a cover in the wake of the Charleston Trip...

It’s worth noting that Liz also grew up in the LA area, making this even more special if it is about Liz.

5 September 2011 - Taylor and Dianna Agron meet for the first time at the Fairfax Flea Market after being introduced by mutual friend, Ashley, who was working for Dianna’s hairstylist at the time. Dianna had lowkey outed herself that summer with #Shirtgate and considering all the mess going on with Liz, it’s possible Ashley (among Taylor’s other friends) were looking to introduce her to someone else.

8 September 2011 - Taylor diaries about writing Red the previous day and then recording it:

In a later interview, Taylor described Red like this:

“So this is a song that I wrote about the kind of relationship that is both the best thing and the worst thing at the same time and that’s why you can’t forget about it. It’s called Red.”

So, I have a two big theories about Taylor writing and recording Red at this point in the timeline:

1) TayLiz have IMMEDIATELY broken up again after the Charleston trip, and that’s why a mutual friend decided to introduce Taylor to Dianna.

2) Taylor and Liz are about to get back together again, and Taylor writes Red as a way of looking back on what she had with Liz back in 2009 before diving into a relationship with her again.

I’m leaning towards 2, but 1 could be true too. Who knows?

13 September 2011 - Rodarte show at NY Fashion Week. Taylor is interviewed by Vogue while there. She says there’s “just been this earth-shattering, not recent, but absolute crash and burn heartbreak” and that that’s what the next album is about. This really makes me think TayLiz breaks up IMMEDIATELY again after Charleston.

Taylor also gives these four things she’s learned about love and life recently:

Number two and four read like Jake shade to me.

16 September 2011 - Speak Now in Nashville. Taylor brings out Hayley as a special guest, they sing “That’s What You Get.” Hayley would later say she was surprised Taylor didn’t ask for Misery Business as That’s What You Get wasn’t one of their more popular songs at the time. (Keep in mind this is the song TayLiz jammed to years ago at the Paramore concert):

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This song makes me think there’s a lot of back and forth happening between TayLiz right now if we look at it lyrically. However, things could be great in TayLiz land and Taylor just chose to perform this song because she knew Liz liked it.

19 September 2011 - Liz performs Jenny Turn Around with Tyler Hilton after Speak Now in Nashville. Tyler tells a story about how he went to the TS concert just before and Taylor had said that her and Liz both really love this song.

29 September 2011 - Liz tweets about crying to the song “The Heart Won’t Lie” by Vince Gill.

And thus, the back and forth continues.

16 October 2011 - Taylor recommends Liz’s YouTube channel and she gets an influx of subscribers:

30 October 2011 - Taylor diaries about being sick on tour, getting Meredith, and having written two songs in the last few days:

This usually signifies there’s a lot going on for her emotionally, although it’s hard to tell what since we don’t know which songs these are. (My best guess might be Treacherous??)

31 October 2011 - Liz tweets about getting married.

Taylor posts a photo of her, Liz, and Caitlin on Instagram:

8 November 2011 - TayLiz have a “soul feeding time” together:

9 November 2011 - Taylor posts a wedding dress train picture to IG with the caption “Dress train…”

12 November 2011 - TayLiz flirt more onstage during BTR:

18 November 2011 - Speak Now in Columbia South Carolina. Arm Lyrics: “Where would we be today, if I never drove that car away?” These are from the song “Don’t Think About It” by Darius Rucker. The lines before this go:

When we make choices we got to live with them Heard you found a real good man and you married him I wonder if sometimes I cross your mind Where would we be today If I never drove that car away?

To me, this plus the dress train pictures reads as Taylor’s reaction to Emily getting married the following day.

19 November 2011 - Emily gets married. TayLiz are papped leaving a restaurant in London:

27 November 2011 - CMT Awards in Nashville. Taylor arrives with Liz and others.

1 December 2011 - Taylor shoots her vogue cover where she cuts her bangs at the Bowery Hotel. Her band (including Liz) comes to support her and her and Liz take a photo with their matching hair:

13 December 2011 - Taylor’s birthday. She’s recording something in the studio and posts a photo to tease the Red album (presumably she’s already titled it at this point).

Here are some pictures from the party:

22 December 2011 - Safe and Sound is released. TayLiz both tweet about it:

Taylor also posts about it on IG:

IN CONCLUSION: After Taylor pursuing her all summer, and Liz’s breakup with Jason, TayLiz took off again. They (maybe) shared a bed during Charleston, and Taylor certainly seems to have covered Bette Davis Eyes with her in mind. Their relationship is a little less obvious than they were in 2009, but that makes sense, considering the way Taylor has skyrocketed in popularity since then. Of course, they still are going to have some problems...

TayLiz Breaks Down (January 2012 - March 2012)

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liberty1776 · 4 years ago

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Troubling Worldview of the 'Rapture-Ready' Christian by Bill Barnwell

Well, actually, it does matter. I will submit that the popular doctrines of the Left Behind series When the subject of the "end-times" comes up, many Christians and non-Christians don’t want to talk about it. Some Christians, annoyed with all the competing theories and terminology just say, "What difference does it make? Jesus is coming back and I just need to be ready." Non-Christians just assume that since Christianity isn’t true, then the whole issue doesn’t matter.pose very real threats not only to Christianity, but also to the wider culture.

Probably most conservative Protestants (though not all of us) believe that humanity is certainly in the final generation of life on earth as we currently know it. Not that we "could be," but that "we must be." That’s a big distinction. They believe this because of their views on a couple key Biblical texts. The first is the Olivet Discourse. This discourse by Jesus about the "end of the age" can be found in Mark 13, Matthew 24, and Luke 21. Dispensationalists – a group that believes God has two separate prophetic programs for Israel and the Church and generally believes that Christians will be removed from the earth before a final tribulation – see all of the events or signs spoken of by Jesus as referring to events that are happening now or going to happen very soon. Never mind that Jesus was first and foremost referring to events that would occur within his own disciples’ lifetime (Matthew 24:34). They believe that nothing past chapter 3 in the book of Revelation has occurred yet. It is all in the future, and all relates to the tribulation period, which true Christians will avoid.

But the New Testament says nothing about a seven-year tribulation. The book of Revelation refers to a 3.5–year period – five different times. They are most likely referring to the same time period. Dispensationalists believe by prophetic necessity a number of things. First, they assume that the world must get worse in just about all ways. Second, they assume that Daniel 9:27 calls for the rebuilding of a Third Jewish Temple at the site of the Dome of tAnother key text is Daniel 9:27. It is from this verse alone that we get the idea of a "seven-year tribulation" during the end times.he Rock. Therefore, prophetic necessity demands that the current Islamic al-Aqsa mosque must be torn down to build this new Jewish Temple. Halfway through the tribulation period, the antichrist will come and exalt himself in the new Jewish Temple, stop sacrifices in the Temple, break a peace treaty he had earlier made with Israel, and proclaim himself to be God. They get all this from cutting and pasting Daniel 9:27, Matthew 24:15, 2 Thessalonians 2:4 together and then associating those passages with everything that will be going on in Revelation 4–19.

There are all sorts of problems with these interpretations. First of all, the New Testament says nothing about a "pretribulational rapture." To see how bankrupt that position is, The evidence for a "pre-trib" rapture is not just weak, it is non-existent. Regarread my offering on the subject here.ding the key verse of Daniel 9:27, see my refutation of the dispensationalist position here. Read those, especially if you are a dispensationalist who already presupposes that I’m wrong.

Once you begin thinking of the implications involved, you begin to see why this doctrine is so dangerous to everybody. Dispensationalists seem to have a preoccupation with war. In fact, right now, dispensationalist mega-church pastor John Hagee is preaching that a war with Iran is not only the right thing to do, but is prophetically inevitable. Apparently, Bible prophecy demands a showdown with Iran. You see, if you aren’t on the side of war, then you aren’t on the side of God. Talk of peace now becomes irrelevant. It’s God’s will that we be militarists. In fairness, not all dispensationalists are militarists. Our own Laurence Vance is an example. But they are in a definite minority. The prevailing worldview of dispensationalism glorifies war, militarism, and the State.

The dispensationalist view of Daniel 9:27 provides some troubling implications as well. They don’t care that tearing down the al-Aqsa mosque would result in a regional war and cause all sorts of global distress. This would not be a bad thing in their minds. They believe that it was all foreordained and is a sign that the end of the world would be soon upon us.

And who will be the one bringing peace to the Middle East in this popular end-time paradigm? Not Jesus, but the Antichrist. Therefore, talk of Middle East peace during this current "dispensation" is not from Jesus, but the Antichrist. WhenAlso, if you buy into these interpretations, talks of peace in the Middle East are futile. Jews and Muslims must continue killing each other at high rates. dispensationalists hear talk of peace summits or treaties in the Middle East, they assume it must have evil origins and be antichristic. If that’s the cause, why bother trying to make the world a better place? All we need to do is be good Christians and wait for our ticket out of this earth and make way for the Antichrist.

Dispensationalists are numerous and popular. Well-connected preachers like Hagee have political connections. Dispensational preachers and lobbyists have the ear of the White House and are directly trying to influence foreign policy based on their very questionable theological views, which, by the way, are less than 200 years old. This is more than just a quirky theology that doesn’t affect those who do not hold it. Dispensationalists want to bring about world events that would have catastrophic implications for other Christians and for non-Christians.

If they are correct, why should any of us bother trying to make the world a better place? Dispensationalists get very annoyed at this question. They say, "Final peace on earth will only come through Christ!" They basically insist Christians trying to do good in the world should only focus on "spiritual things." Trying to change social institutions for the better is futile and presumptuous. Apparently the only two options are handing the world over to Satan or believing that humans can do everything in their own strength. Not much room for nuance here.

Ironically, many dispensationalists are involved in the Religious Right movement and want to stem abortions, ban gay marriage and make America more Christian. But at the same time they believe in a theology that says the world can only get worse, that there’s nothing any of us can do about it, and that it’s about to get so bad Christians are going to be taken off of the earth. If the ship is irreversibly sinking, why try and patch up the leaks?

If you need more proof that many dispensationalists hold troubling worldviews, just take a visit over to the Rapture Ready message board. The main site is one of the bigger dispensationalist/pretribulational sites on the web. You can read for yourselves how they view the world, how they can’t wait to escape it, and their obsession with war.

One angry pre-tribber wrote me a few weeks back. He had this to say:

When the RAPTURE of the CHURCH takes place, and mark my words it will, maybe them you will see the light! After you have been left behind you are going to look back on all the people that you deceived, who will probably be in your face at that time, and hopefully repent of the false gospel that you were teaching! It's not to late to be saved during the 7 year tribulation period but it will be harder when you hear that Christians, who become Christians after the Rapture of the Church, are being beheaded for the witness of Jesus! Hopefully you and those who partake of your beliefs will see the light before Christ comes for the Church!

Notice in his mind I’m not even a real Christian. The reason? Because I happen to have a different position than he does on the issue of the "rapture." I’ll also apparently be too much of a coward to "convert" during the "7 year tribulation" because other people who become Christians after the pre-tribulational rapture are being beheaded. Ever notice with people who so strongly believe this doctrine that they assume everyone who will be "left behind" is going to be absolutely clueless? Maybe I too will just assume aliens came and abducted the "true Christians." Apparently I’d be too scared to be beheaded, even though I’d find myself instantly in heaven along with all the real Christians who were taken up in the rapture.

Finally notice the great confidence of this guy. He is so convinced of his position that only an idiot or heretic would disagree. Well, I challenge people like this, and the crew over at Rapture Ready to actually put their interpretations up against the Scriptures and think about the logic and implications of their beliefs.

The logic and implications are clear. Society is going to hades in a handbasket. There’s little we can do to stem the tide of evil. The Middle East must further deteriorate. Anyone who disagrees with Israel’s foreign policy is opposing God. The third most important site to Muslims must be crushed to make way for a new Jewish Temple. Good Christians should support the building of a new temple with new animal sacrifices taking place inside of it (compare Hebrews 10 to the theology of Darby and Hal Lindsey). And in a strange sense, war is kinda good and peace is kinda bad – since war is a sign that the end

#Rapture Ready Christians Evangelical Christians False doctrine #Religion

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midwestmess94 · 3 years ago

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Queer Mental Health: A June Discussion

It is Day 2 of PRIDE month. Major corporations have already changed their logos to the rainbow flag, the circuit gays are out on the beaches in their speedos, posting thirst traps on Instagram, the Ru Girls are teasing their wigs and stoning their body suits for the plethora of gigs they have coming up, PRIDE celebration planning is underway if the event has not already happened. It is the gayest time of the year.

I feel that, while we are drinking our vodka sprites with a splash of cran (and PBR ((yes, I am a gay who drinks cheap beer. Who gonna check me boo?))), we need to talk about queer mental health.

I feel that this is a topic we shyly talk about. After years of being viewed as outcasts and weirdos, I feel that we sometimes get scared to talk about the thoughts in our head. We’ve been told being ourselves was such a problem that the stigmatism behind mental health bogs us down. We don’t really talk about going to see therapists, or crying for reasons we don’t understand, or the on-going battle of what our bodies look like.

Every morning I wake up at 2am to go to work. I work until 12:30 p.m. Then, I come home and sit on my couch and just aimlessly watch Netflix until I have to repeat the process. I do that Friday-Tuesday. On Wednesdays and Thursdays, I just sit around my house and watch more tv.

I love my job. I’ve had amazing opportunities in my career and I’m thankful for the great people I’ve met, who’ve helped me. I’ve truly grown from those experiences.

I hate leaving work. It’s the most socialization that I get outside of my house. I sit and battle my anxiety and depression at home by myself. Because of my weird schedule, I don’t get to see people much. My friends try to come out but they work normal hours so they can’t really do anything on my days off. On Wednesdays, I go to the local gay bar and play bingo by myself. It’s quite sad but I made friends with the bartender, who has had to save me from a couple rough days.

---- PRO TIP: Never have your bartender drive you home. You then will live with a bunch of regret of making a pseudo-stranger see you in your worst----

Everyday, I wake up before dawn and get in the shower. My first thought when I wake up is “what will I fuck up today?” Then, I think about what I have to do for the day. Through that, I debate going to the gym after work and I usually let my inner saboteur win the argument. I always convince myself: what is the point? I never have the motivation to stick with it. It would just be a waste of time and all I want to do is lay on the couch. At some point in the day, my anxiety kicks in. It is usually around the time I check my bank account. This is where my anxiety convinces me that I am a fuck up. Then, I look up the number to my therapist because I feel like that might help. Well, my anxiety, who I’ve named Chad, tells me that it won’t help because it never does. I just feel like I want to escape my anxiety and that it will go away. Unfortunately, it never does. You can’t escape your brain and your feelings. Then, I realize I’m spiraling. I think about texting my friends about my issues but I haven’t known them that long since I’ve known them for under a year. I can’t really talk to them about my issues because it’s also robbing them of their time. It’s not fair to constantly seek help when you are probably just dealing with the same repetitive shit. I get afraid that I’ll just scare them away because of the issues I’ve dealt with since I was 16. My anxiety drives me to feel like I’m just a thorn in everyone’s side. It’s bad to the point that I repetitively apologize to everyone for basically existing. There are days where I just lay in bed and scroll through social media, wishing I was someone else because I let myself believe I can’t change to be the person I want to be. I look in the mirror and really hate the social decisions I’ve been making in the last year. I’ve been getting super anxious about the things I’ve said to people when I’m drunk. I get anxious about DMing people I’ve met because I think they’ll think I have feelings for them when in reality I just want to be sociable. My depression comes in waves on top of this. I constantly think about how I’ve made awful financial decisions in my early 20s and now I’m paying for it in my late 20s. I’m living with family at the age of 27 and I didn’t plan on that for myself. I see what people are doing on social media. I know people never post their worst but it makes me feel like I’m doing my absolute worst. It’s not fair of me to do that to myself but also I’d like to formally introduce everyone to Chad, my anxiety and Darryl, my depression.

I then think that my friends, the very few I have in Florida, think that I’m just too much and only deal with me because we end up in the same social situations. Want to know why? Because I’m everything that would annoy me as a person. I wish I wasn’t but I am. I know it is that whole conversation of working on yourself but this is happening to me right now. Not the end goal of working on yourself. Stop fucking telling people they need to work on themselves. Someone going through something probably knows that but this is happening in the now. Dismissing their shit and saying it’ll be better down the road is the fucking worst thing ever.

Then, I’m gay on top of all of this. Being gay is great but unconventionally hard. People want to tokenize you. They want to put you in a box and say you should be this and not that. I have gotten, specifically from my fraternity brothers in college, “you are cool but just like tone it down dude.” The first time I heard that was in reference to me posting a picture kissing a boy’s cheek on Instagram. Some of my fraternity brothers didn’t think it would look good for the chapter’s image. But, they publicly cheat on their girlfriends and do whatever they want. Oh, lets talk about how they’d ask me to wing man them with my girlfriends so they could get laid. Or, my favorite, is when women say I should act a certain way. My close girlfriends are not like this. One of them says “yes queen” but that’s about it. She has never tokenized me and she’s let me be whatever version of myself I am that day. But straight women love to say we should love shopping. If we’re femme presenting or there is an ounce of feminity in our presence, then we get asked if we like mani-pedis or assume we have style. Not all of us do. I don’t even identify with a feminine or masculine identity. I didn’t know I needed a label to be myself.

Then there are the boxes gay guys put other gays in. First thing is first, if you are slightly overweight, not fit and not stylish... You can go fuck yourself. Gay dating is like having a Ruth Chris budget but you can only afford the McDonald’s $3 McDouble Meal. Every gay man, thanks to porn and the American media’s take on what gay men look like, thinks they need to date the hottest guy in the room. The minute that they realize that guy will never go for them, well that is cataclysmic. You may call that once in a blue moon but I call that a Saturday night at a gay bar.

Then, there is the judgment in how you dress, who you hang out with, what you do and what you drink (I am the only person at my local gay bar that drinks PBR and the amount of comments about calories and bloating I’ve received is way too much). It’s rough.

I know this was a long journey and most of you probably didn’t read all of this but I wrote this to get things off my mind. This is what I deal with every day of the year. I never know what my mood of the day will be when I wake up. Will I win my battle against my anxiety and depression or will I lose it and let it run everything? I feel no matter what we look like, what do we do or who we hang out with, this is something every queer person deals with. I think we need to have more of an open conversation about it amongst ourselves. I think there is some comfort there. We all present and hold face in different ways. If you ever saw me in person, you could tell how I am doing by how I present myself. I never really hide anything. It’s dumb. Just be yourself.

I know I wrote this for me but I hope it starts a conversation amongst the queer community. I hope it helps someone reach out to seek help or I hope you just related. Anyways, thats it.

#pride #pride flag #mental breakdown #mental health #gay #queer #lgbtqia #queer mental health #please discuss #pride month #stonewall

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eurosong · 5 years ago

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My ESC ‘20 ranking

Good morning folks, on this rather melancholy “Eurovision day.” Whilst this year may be cancelled and its songs pretty callously binned by the EBU, 2020 was a diverse year that deserves taking a close look at too, so here goes my customary full ranking of the year. I express some candid opinions, but they are just my take on things, no shade intended if you disagree.

41. Estonia - What love is It’s always most difficult to pick a last place because, no matter how sleek Eurovision gets, there are still a few abject horrors that sneak into the contest. With a score that would have been dated 30 years back, and lyrics that manage the peculiar double act of being both pompous and anodyne, this is horrid enough before Uku’s dubious xenophobic comments and his prevailing over a field of much more compelling songs get taken into account.

40. Macedonia - You The Macedonians, having achieved their best result ever last year (I’m happy for them, but also, Kaliopi deserved that), decided that they soared too close to the sun with Proud and decided to crash land this year to build their energy to soar again. That’s the only reasonable explanation I have for this effort which deeply repels me, doubling down on Luca Hänni’s “cocky guy in a sleazy bar” æsthetics and adds to it even worse lyrics, castrato singing and the unintended levity of the interpreter being far more interested in the bartender. Also one of a maddening number of duplicate titles that were nowhere near as good as the originals.

39. Cyprus - Running What is this void in the space of a song? I’ve listened to it dozens of times to do ratings over the past months. I’m still left with an icy emptiness because it does nothing to me, says nothing to me. The only thing that I can say in its favour is that it’s not a replay of replay aka Fuego 3. That’s it. It’s like it’s designed to leave little impression and hope to cruise by on diaspora and friendly votes alone.

38. Austria - Alive Austria have been on an interesting Eurovision journey, going from winning with Conchita to serving up this chirpy homophobe doing his best impression of Timberlake. A monumental step back from the singular tenderness of Pænda.

37. France - Mon alliée (The best in me) La déception de l’année sans doute. France, one of Europe’s cultural powerhouses, really said “forget Destination Eurovision, which showcased our music scene’s diversity and was one of the fandom’s favourite newer NFs. Let’s abolish it all and bring in the guys who made Bigger than us, because we really want a piece of that Big 5 bottom place action! Let’s throw away our cultural caché and get something about as French as flatpack furniture!”

This is like going to a pricey restaurant in Paris, expecting haute cuisine and instead getting some microwave-reheated IKEA köttbullar. And can we talk about how Amir of J’ai cherché fame is partly to “thank” for this in one of the biggest heel turns of the year? It’s like he wanted to ensure that France TV beg him to return by safeguarding his excellent score from being equalled. I also have to say, Tom Leeb seems like a nice guy with a good voice. He did his best to salvage this with the acoustic version, which lifts it up a few places. But not so many given that that Westlife reject b-side ending with a key change remains.

36. Germany - Violent thing Speaking of major cultural players dumping their national finals for no good reason, guten Tag, Deutschland! Germany once had one of the best and certainly most diverse NFs going. Instead of dumping Barbara Schönenberger as hostess - every year she’s presented, Germany have had calamity, and the one year they did well, 2018, she wasn’t host - they decided to pin all their hopes on a bewildered looking gossoon from Slovenia with yet another Timberclone song and some rather dubious live vox. As his countrywoman Lea Sirk said, it’s a hvala ne from me.

35. Spain - Universo Yes, it’s another year of the Big 5 not living up to its automatic qualification rights (except you, Italy, thank you for being the exception to the rule.) So here we’ve got a bland effort from Spain to avoid being bottom 5, except that ain’t how ESC works - you need something to get people to waste their money on voting for your song. And for me, this surely is not it. This was a bit higher on my ranking before because there are more objectively objectionable songs out there. But the nonsensical, repetitive lyrics, the painful attempt at a high note on perdónameeee, and getting stuck on a bus where I had to put up said screeching being played 5+ times means #35 is about right for where it deserves.

34. Armenia - Chains on you Armenia, usually a reliable mainstay in the top half of my listings at least, instead served up one of the most bewilderingly impalatable NFs of the season where every song sounded imported from the ESC anni horribili of the 00s. This has grown on me a little bit - I like tin drums and I like her weird accent - but the lyrics are amongst the year’s most pitiful (“ya wanna take me to a party, because you’re naughty”) and it just feels cheep to me. 33. Bulgaria - Tears getting sober I don’t see the appeal in this bewildering merger of dirge and Disney, and this is coming from someone who likes melancholic music more times than not. I find this one straight up unpleasant to listen to. The lyrics are of someone passive-aggressively glorying in the pain they wallow in to return the hurt, in “look how much you’re making me hurt myself” style. The syrupy score replete with key change is a bizarre, ghoulish accompaniment. Only this high because I recognise some artistic merit in its production.

32. Azerbaijan - Cleopatra Are Azerbaijan now at the stage where they’ve decided to pastiche themselves? The country with the worst LGBT rights of all contesting ESC having the monumental neck to send a song about “gay or straight or in between”? The country who have almost religiously avoided sending anything with any actual Azeri national character or heritage sending a song written by a Canadian, an American and a Frisian about a Greek-Egyptian ruler with a Japanese mantra and Latin affectations, so sending us around the world to pretty much everywhere except Azerbaijan? What can I say in favour of it? It’s a little bit catchy. So are venereal diseases.

31. Poland - Empires How can a country who started their ESC journey with aplomb - and experimental gems like Sama and Chcę znać swój grzech - and who continue to serve in the junior contest, how can they be so almost studiedly bland in ESC these days? This is our 564th knockoff Bond tune, sung a little awkwardly and with lyrics written by a Year 8 who’s been given a creätive writing assignment where they have to use metaphors. “We’re gasoline and a match!” Wow. If it passed to the final, it would only because of loyal Poles abroad.

30. Greece - Superg!rl We leave the territory of complete dirges and enter that of songs I can sort of live with. This one’s a huge step back for the Hellenes though after the gorgeous Better love. Its odd chorus is memorable, but not for the best reasons. Its saving grace is its unintentionally humorous promotional video. A better use of those superpowers would have been to come up with a better song.

29. Moldova - Prison Remember the fun Moldova that used to bring songs like Hora din Moldova and Lautar, with some actual national flavour and flair? That’s long gone. Even the Moldova that brought terrible songs but fun stagings, like that of My lucky day, seems far lost into the fogs of time too. Another wholly unremarkable and mediocre production of the Scream Team that would be lucky to scrape into the finals. 28. Belgium - Release me Has Belgium learnt absolutely nothing in the years Blanche where the wheels of their ESC renaissance have fallen decidedly off? My feeling is no. I have to salute them to some degree for creating nice, very musical compositions, but just like in the past two years, they have forgotten to add a few key elements: some sense of progression or dynamism. This plods along repetitively on one track, one note, and that note is nice enough as background music, but my hunch is that track would have led them to another unsurprising “surprise” NQ.

27. Serbia - Hasta la vista It’s an earworm, but some earworms leave you wanting to get an aural exorcism. Somehow, some sort of collective insanity overcame Serbia and they decided to dump on their beautiful oeuvre of songs, go completely against their trend for qualitative, classical, brooding, orchestral music by instead picking a bunch of time travellers who had been a third rate girl band in Transnistria. How enough Serbians thought they’d win over Europe by going for a sound that was dated even when they made their début bemuses me. 26. UK - My last breath The UK are really soaring high in my rankings as... the last amongst the 26 songs that would make up my notional perfect final. Baby steps. I still think it’s pretty lame how the BBC tanked their own national final for this. It’s not so adventurous. It has so little to say that it’s half a minute shorter than the ESC standard and yet still consists of repetition. It has one of the most annoying chorus quirks with that beat in “my last... breath.” How did this get up this high again?

25. Albania - Fall from the sky It absolutely pains my heart to put Albania out of the top 20 after two thunderous years in which they captured my gold and bronze respectively. What makes it worse is that they could have had a perfect hat-trick, because the original, Albanian language version “Shaj” was my #1 song from December up until mid-March when they released this thin gruel of a revamp with all the things that gave Shaj some authenticity and flavour gone, and with beautiful, heart-rending lyrics replaced with cliché. Only this high because there are plenty of worse songs.

24. Czechia - Kemama I have a soft spot for poor Benny, the interpreter of this song. Ok, so it beat a field containing some vastly superior songs, but it’s nice to have a Czech song without weird lyrics about women for the first time in a while, and the way the kid was put through the ringer for his more Afrobeat-influenced revamp made me sad. For me, it gained a bit of flavour with that change. The lyrics are still poor but I like the colourful musical backdrop.

23. Israël - Feker libi 🇮🇱 Sometimes, you don’t think much of a song but the artist elevates it enormously. Such is the case with Feker libi, a bizarre pot pourri of styles with a very discordant tropical verse (which I like), mid-90s dance track chorus (which I don’t), middle eastern post-chorus and African-sounding outro (jury’s out on both.) Yet Eden Alene is so full of natural charm and exudes “I want to be your friend” that I can’t help but rewatch just because of how joyous she makes it.

22. San Marino - Freaky 🇸🇲 Speaking of atypical countries flying high in my ranking, all was set for San Marrano to take non-pride of place at the bottom of my ranks yet again, but somehow, I ended up quite enjoying their track this year. Yes, San Marino is still a weird zone where, when you descend to Rimini in Italy, you enter the new millennium, but returning up the tiny nation’s steep slopes, you head back to a time in the 70s when disko was king. This disco is fun though. In part thanks to Senhit, a sympathetic performer who deserved more in 2011, in part the lyrics - who doesn’t want to rip up the rules, write new ones and then destroy them too?

22. Switzerland - Répondez-moi It’s nice to have the Swiss singing in a national language for the first time in ages. It’s also nice that they didn’t fall back on their success with Hänni by going with a similar so-called bOp. I also really love some of the artist’s other tracks, like Babi. And I liked this a fair bit more upon first listen, but the combination of less than stellar lyrics - just a succession of somewhat emoïsh rhetorical questions; just because they’re in French, doesn’t make them deep - and a wailing falsetto have made my will to relisten to this often take a serious hit for me. A shame, as musically, it has some undoubted quality. 20. Denmark - Yes 🇩🇰 Denmark seems to be doubling down on 2019 to develop its new niche - catchy, sweet but ultimately a little overly gooey love songs. There’s always something a little bit imperfect about them though: last year it was Leonora’s serial killer-esque nervous gaze; this year, it’s the “I’m not going to even try to make pretend we’re an item” lack of energy from Tan. It’s a little bit too reheated “Little talks” but it’s decent enough.

19. Russia - Uno 🇷🇺 When this first was released, days after the deadline for submitting songs, I was pretty peeved at what seemed like a pisstake against the contest, a bizarre rehash of Aqua for the meme age. And yet.. maybe it’s the quarantine slowly driving me insane, maybe it’s the sheer infectiousness of this that just makes you want to dance, maybe it’s the epic energy of the backing singer (Rosa from Brooklyn 99’s twin) who looks like she wants to kill everyone else... but I’ve actually grown to like this enough to put it top 20. I’m not always entirely predictable!

18. Norway - Attention 🇳🇴 There’s a lot of things that tick my yes boxes with this song, like the beautiful orchestral music laid out by the famed Mørland or the simple but sincere performance. There are also things that take a Sharpie and scrawl in my no boxes too, like the somewhat whiny tone of the vocals or the adolescent and lyrics which, with their “oy’d change anyffink abaat moyself fur a boi” tone, don’t flatter the singer, and from Mørland, I expect better. There’s more good than bad here though, and it has been an earworm since the day it was selected.

17. Belarus - Da widna 🇧🇾 I don’t know what was in the water this year, but we got a bunch of great Slavic language songs, including from countries that don’t typically send songs except in English. I like the chilled out vibe and the curious lyrics. Their live version for Eurovision Home Concerts with just an acoustic guitar sounded a whole lot better, I must say.

16. Australia - Don’t break me 🇦🇺 I’m finally overcoming the horror of the bizarre clown mise-en-scène complete with ropey lyrics at Australia decides and judging this on its potential. Hands down Australia’s best entry at the contest for me. Musically, it’s strong, and lyrically, it’s compelling and very saudadic. I’m sad we won’t see what a glow-up their final staging could have provided. I really hope it wouldn’t have involved clowns, which seriously tanked the song in my ranking for months, no joke.

15. Portugal - Medo de sentir 🇵🇹 A Portuguese entry outside of my top ten? Given their form with me since 2015, this might seem like a harbinger of the apocalypse. I still like it quite a bit, but there are stronger songs this time. It’s heartfelt, the lyrics are powerful (about being afraid to feel again after being hurt) and the melody is pretty. The live was a bit cagey especially because of the not particularly well synchronised voices of Elisa and the pianist, who composed the song. Still a very nice song and it is great to see Portugal staying faithful to its language, but I can’t help but feel sad that songs more in line with its riskier, more trailblazing previous few years. Passe-partout or Gerbera amarela do sul would have been in my top 3 like last year.

14. Latvia - Still breathing 🇱🇻 If you told me in January that not only would this song not be disliked, it’d also end up in my top 15 of the year, I’m sure incredulous laughter would have been the most polite response you’d have probably gotten. And yet - the song I couldn’t stand in Supernova has won me over and I do want to see Samanta Tina return for 2021 since she evidently cares so deeply about ESC so is pretty much one of us. I’ve come to love the weirdness of the track - real meat and gravy given the number of anodyne tracks - the iconic pre-corona hygienic leitmotif of its staging. ST’s joie de vivre and command of the stage. It’d be a guilty pleasure except I don’t feel guilty for it.

13. Georgia - Take me as I am 🇬🇪 Georgia once again are dancing to the beats of their very anarchic drummer and I love them for that. This thinly veiled swipe at both the Big 5 coasting in mediocrity and at narrow-minded fans’ reäctions to Georgia’s extremely varied oeuvre just hits the spot for me. I love the musicality of it, the dark electro-rock vibes, Tornike’s voice and how it blends perfectly with his captivating backing singers. I always vote with my feet for something different in an era where people are aiming to qualify with safe and bland rather than taking risks.

12. Romania - Alcohol you 🇷🇴 Roxen provided one of the most iconic moments of the season by deliberately tanking the ordained bop amongst her national final songs. Her eventual song is one of the most emotional of the year, and also one of the most surprisingly literary: there are tonnes of nuances, allusions, wordplays and so forth in this text, most of which are a lot more graceful than the titular terrible pun. I humbly put it to folk who thinks that this romanticises alcohol that they are missing the point - it’s instead being used as a metaphor for toxic relations which, by the end of the song, Roxen has broken away from. I love her voice, I love the music. It fell briefly out of my affections because of the weird mini-revamp, but it’s risen again.

11. Ukraine - Solowej 🇺🇦 It’s fabulous to see Ukraine singing a song entirely in their language and I hope this trend continues across the Slavic nations like was notable this year. The timeless folksy elements mixing with modern beats makes a curious and entrancing blend, delivered with aplomb. It takes where Poland 2019 went wrong and puts it right. I could have done without the unnecessary revamp, but it’s still one of the year’s freshest cuts. Well done, Widbir!

10. Slovenia - Voda 🇸🇮 In an age where the likes of Albania is stripping away all the beautiful orchestral flourishes of its entry to make a pared and muted revamp, Slovenia went full throttle in the opposite - and in my mind, right - direction and made one of the very few good revamps of the season. Performing with the Budapest philharmonic orchestra, Ana Soklič, who, for my money, has one of the best female voices of the year, unleashed the cinematic, sweeping beauty of Voda. I think this would have surprised many people by doing quite well. On musical and vocal merit alone, and adding to that the subdued saudade of its lyrics, it deserved a lot more love.

09 Malta - All of my love 🇲🇹 In 2018, I would have sooner said that it was more probable for me to have become Grand-Duke of Luxembourg than it was for me to have loved a Maltese song, let alone two i n a r o w. I didn’t expect much of this at all, because I expected we’d get a wailing vocal exhibition, as Ian used to say, focused on exhibiting Destiny’s range rather than giving her a genuinely good song. But this is a genuinely good song. Once again, I love for the gospel edge it has, and Destiny’s vocals soar to impressive heights, without feeling unnatural or ostentatious. I should have known to expect good things with the regal Cesár Sampson on board.

08 Lithuania - On fire 🇱🇹 Prior to this year, few people had any hopes for Lithuania’s long-winded national final selection process. The idea of it being must-watch viewing when there were many other more compelling choices on offer was hilarious. In 2020, that changed. They changed the name to the hilarious but hopeful “Let’s try again”, had a number of fantastic songs, and became one of the most diverse and qualitative highlights of the NF season. The eventual winners, The Roop, deserved the accolade with this cool, super contemporary track with a brilliant dance routine and a genuinely important message about not giving up on yourself.

07. Sweden - Move 🇸🇪 At MF this year, the Swedes put a match to its protracted ‘cocky fuckboi with polished, soulless overproduced pop song’ era, hopefully for good, with an all-female top 4. I will always lament Dotter missing out narrowly, but I’ve still been brought plenty of joy by the radiant Mamas with their fabulous hand-choreography and genuine warmth, and this song of resilience through the tough times. I love gospel-tinged music and this really makes me smile.

06 Ireland - The story of my life 🇮🇪 Before this was announced, I heard Ireland’s track being compared to the oeuvre of pretty much every major 00s female pop star. I was quizzical, but upon hearing it, could see why. In a year with a lot of beige, this is just one big orange and yellow blast of colourful late 90s/early 00s nostalgia, hope, resilience. The kind of anthem I never knew I needed but came right on time. I can’t listen to its wry, conversational lyrics without wanting to dance along. And Lesley Roy herself is an icon. My favourite effort from Ireland since Playing by numbers, and I really hope she returns in 2021.

05 Finland - Looking back 🇫🇮 I’ll never forget a mural in the part of València where I used to live that said “we’re not different for the sake of being different”, and that could sum up my attitudes to Eurovision. Whilst it seemed almost everyone was behind Cicciolina in Finland, I had scant hope for my favourite, and was blown away when it actually did win. This melancholy meditation on the passing of time and people - “we never know what we have until it’s over and we’re looking back” - became emblematic of this year for me and added to what was already a really poignant and moving track. I love the musical style too and the smoothness of Aksel’s voice and how it contrasts with his evident awkward shyness. It has moved me so much that it had to end up top 5.

04 Croatia - Divlji vjetre 🇭🇷 I always will represent and bring love for the Balkans and their adhesion to their musical traditions. This was one of the most pleasant surprises of the NF season for me - I was expecting very little from Croatia, and instead, it greeted me with this beauty. You have the understated classic grace of the music, the exquisite melancholy and poeticism of the lyrics, and one of the finest male vocals of the season. My favourite Croatian track in almost 15 years.

03 Italy - Fai rumore 🇮🇹 Sanremo isn’t just a national final, it’s a cultural experience that digs into your heart over the course of a whole week. This was one of the most memorable I have followed yet - and what a truly deserving winner. It’s just another example of the seemingly endless supply of heartfelt tunes by classy, sincere performers that Italy has on tap, with one of the best lyrics of the contest and the extra level of poignancy from how the lyrical theme of isolation would come to represent us all.

02 Iceland - Think about things 🇮🇸 One of my nerviest and happiest moments of the entire NF season was seeing Daði Freyr and friends win Söngvakeppnin in Iceland. As much as I loved Svala’s Paper, I had also adored his song three years prior - the delightfully awkward and similarly irrepressably earwormy Is this love. And now he was back with a groovy, fun, heartwarming tune about fatherhood that has only continued to grow in my estimations. The bridge still full on gives me goosebumps. It’s the kind of song that just makes me marvel at being human and being on this earth.

01 Netherlands - Grow 🇳🇱 My top few songs are all very closely entwined so much so that they could be considered joint winners, but I’ve been pretty unequivocal ever since Shaj got torpedoed by its revampire: silver turned to gold and my previous 2nd place, Grow, became my new favourite. I love the heartfelt, sparsely poëtic, bravely confessional lyrics. I love the way that it goes from something minimalist and intimate with just organ and voice and slowly builds upon the hints of gospel to something truly anthemic. Such a meticulous arrangement where there’s not a single sound out of place. This song is pure art and, like Soldi, Mall, APD and all those preceding songs which had the magic of being my personal favourite, it moves me upon every listen.

#eurovision #eurovision song contest #esc 2020 #opinion #eurovision 2020 #esc

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mab1905 · 4 years ago

Text

84 Questions

original:

https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs

Someone New (Hozier)

Cactus Tree (Joni Mitchell)

Budapest (George Ezra)

And Dream Of Sheep (Kate Bush)

Nancy Mulligan (Ed Sheeran)

And Then She Kissed Me (St. Vincent)

Level of Concern (Twenty One Pilots)

Lovefool (The Cardigans)

Best For Last (Adele)

Video Killed The Radio Star (The Buggles)

2. If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you?

Japan. I travel a lot and it’s been on my list for a while, I would really want to go to the Hayao Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli theme park, if it ever opens that is. I would bring my best friend, Layla. I also would love to go to Amsterdam again.

3. What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)

My ink nib cartooning pen (similar to a quill, but without the feather)

4. Favourite month and why?

October, not too hot, not too cold, and of course, Halloween!

5. Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them.

Nope, met several, got to true connections though.

6. Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are.

My iPad, my Leatherman Multitool, my collection of David Bowie postcards.

7. What brand logo is closest to you currently?

The Apple logo

8. Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites?

Chess. Card games like Solitaire, Black-Jack, and Castle. A game that I can’t remember the name of but it’s essentially a board-game version of Capture The Flag. Mostly Chess.

9. A musical artist you love that isn’t well known

St. Vincent? I’m not sure if she’s well known or not.

10. A musical artist you love that is well known

David Bowie.

11. What is your desktop background currently?

A picture of Apollo 11 accompanied by the words “It won’t fail because of me”

12. Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them

My best friend Layla, through the iMessage app.

13. First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow

Salmon

14. What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in?

My iPad, my computer, my collection of vintage stopwatches

15. What kind of headphones do you use?

Sony, wireless, noise canceling, over-the ear

16. What musical artists have you seen perform live?

Twenty One Pilots, Sylvan Esso

17. Does virginity matter to you?

I guess? I think it’s important, it’s certainly some kind of ‘milestone,’ but I don’t think it should be treated like the scale of a persons ‘purity.’ It’s important because it’s sex, and (hopefully) that means that you’re sharing a consensual, intimate experience that feels fucking great for both (or all, if it’s more then two) participants.

18. What gaming consoles do you or your family own?

Z e r o, although I’m hoping to buy a PS4 at some point so I can play Detroit Become Human.

19. What pets do you have? What are their names?

Juno is my cat, she is an adorable grey tiger-striped shorthair. She’s got little white mitten-paws and it’s absolutely ridiculous.

20. What’s the best job you’ve ever had?

Doing tech at a local theater

21. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Teaching art to little kids (I like kids but it was just exhausting)

22. What magazines do you read, if any?

The New Yorker, and the National Geo if I’m like, waiting in my doctor’s office or something.

23. Inspiration behind your URL?

It’s just my initials and a year from the Edwardian era

24. Inspiration behind your blog title?

It’s just my initials

25. Favourite item of clothing?

My reddish-brown knit sweater vest and my floral bow-tie (often paired together)

26. Are you friends with any exes?

I made a very conscious effort to cut my exe out of my life… we were not happy for a very long time to say the least

27. Name at least one book you loved as a child.

Strega Nona, it’s about an Italian witch that makes great pasta in a magic pasta pot. My dad would read it to me and my sibling in Italian.

28. What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English)

US English

29. What email service do you use?

Gmail

30. Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in?

So many things. Here's the list:

A giant David Bowie poster, a plaque that says “David Bowie IS,” five David Bowie postcards, a giant Abbey Road poster, all of my patches from summer camp, polaroids of me, my friends, and my family (including my cat), ticket stubs from concerts and plays, two trail markers that I took off of fallen trees on two important cross-country backpacking trips I went on, playbills from a bunch of broadway shows I’ve seen, a poster that says “Stonewall was a riot,” a DC Comics poster, a Pink Floyd poster, a few paintings of mine, and a painting that I got for free from a street artist I befriended in Rome when I was twelve

31. What’s your favourite number, and why?

16, 24, 21, and 8, some numbers make me uncomfortable, but these are just very soft and light and nice

32. Earliest moment in your life you can remember?

A rocking chair with fruits painted on it sitting in a dark room and my great grandfathers brown leather loafers (I remember early early stuff in just images or stills, not full moments)

33. What did you have for dinner yesterday?

Pasta with shrimp

34. How often do you brush your teeth?

Usually twice a day, but I’ve been waking up later and later and sometimes forget in the mornings

35. What’s your favourite candy/chocolate?

I don’t know the name of it but it’s this chocolate bar that is stuffed with caramel, hot chili flakes, and crunchy bits of baked tortilla. It's one of the greatest things I’ve ever tasted.

36. Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently?

I used to have one but I deleted it because I never used it

37. If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat?

I would probably walk into the kitchen, realize that too eat something I would have to muster the effort to cook something instead, and then decide to just have a glass of milk instead.

38. What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of?

Downton Abbey (primarily Thommy)

Chernobyl HBO (as well as the Leonid Toptunov/Sasha Akimov subfandom)

Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit (books and movies)

CrankGamePlays

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Star Trek TOS

Philosophy Tube

The Dark Crystal and The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance

39. If you could study anything, what would it be?

If I had the energy to fully wrench my life in a completely different direction I would like to become a professional scuba diver and study the ocean. I already am a scuba diver, but it’s a hobby and not something I’m able to do very often at all.

40. Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick)

I’ll wear chapstick if I have a cold

41. How would you describe your sense of humour?

Intellectual and dry

42. What things annoy you more than anything else?

People who think they’re better than everyone else and people who recognize a fault in themselves and then refuse to work to change it

43. What kind of position are you in at the moment?

I’m laying on my bed, hunched over my laptop

44. Do you wear much jewellery?

Occasionally I’ll wear a necklace or a few rings. I have a lot of non-traditional bracelets (I literally just have pieces of canvas and industrial tie-line wrapped around my wrist). I’m a gay guy and I like to sort-a walk the line between feminine and masculine (often leaning more towards the masc side), so it really depends on my mood.

45. Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc)

A cheese-pizza flavored pringle is currently POTUS and every day the thought of that tears away at a piece of my soul.

46. Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own

@shochmonster @velvet-of-the-night @panicsheerbloodypanic

47. What do you carry your money in?

My pocket, I have a wallet and I don’t use it

48. Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not?

It’s fine, don’t love it don’t hate it

49. Longest drive you have ever been on?

Three days

50. Furthest away from home you have ever been?

Went on a trip to Switzerland to visit family, I think that’s the farthest but I’m not entirely sure.

51. How many times have you moved house?

Twice

52. What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture?

Five paintings, stacks and stacks of books, boxes filled with stuff (mostly more books), plates, glasses, cutlery, clothes

53. How many devices do you own which can access the internet?

2, and iPad and a computer

54. Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy?

Listening to music

55. Is there anything that always makes you sad?

Thinking about my past for too long

56. What programs do you currently have open?

Google drive, I’m writing

57. What do you associate the colour red with?

Blood and fire

58. Last strong smell you can remember smelling?

Shrimp and butter

59. Last healthy thing you ate?

Three green olives and a handful of bean sprouts

60. Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day?

Used to drink coffee like it was life support (which it essentially was), now I’ll have the occasional cup of tea.

61. What do you associate the colour blue with?

Birds and rain

62. How long is the closest ruler you can find?

I don’t think I own one

63. What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing?

I am wearing olive green corduroy slacks

64. When was the last time you drank water?

30 minutes ago?

65. How often do you clear your browser history?

Never

66. Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic?

Nude anything can be artistic, it can also just be normal, eroticism is in the eye of the beholder.

67. Ever written fanfiction for anything?

Yes dear god so much fanfiction.

68. Last formal event you attended

I genuinely can’t remember, I am have extreme social anxiety and don’t go to events like that unless I absolutely have too

69. If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why?

I don’t care about birthdays

70. Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside?

Beach, I love to swim, I’m also a surfer

71. Roughly how many people live in your town?

Uhm… eight times the number of people who live in the state of Montana and that doesn’t count daily commuters and tourists (New York City is essentially just a tin of sardines, except inside are 8.399 million sardines)

72. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?

No, but three of my friends were born on the day just after my birthday.

73. Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores

The Strand Bookstore, L Train Vintage, any antique shops in the town of Hudson, New York

74. Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one?

I used to have an iPhone 5SE but then it stopped working after a few weeks of quarantine and I haven’t gotten a new one (I’ve had it for about 5-6 years so it makes sense)

75. What is your least favourite colour, and why?

I don’t have a least favorite color, but my favorite color is prussian blue

76. How do you spell grey/gray?

Grey

77. Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link)

It’s anime fanart for a show I’ve never heard of

78. What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow?

79. How many posts do you have?

219

80. How many posts have you liked?

619

81. Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content?

Mostly reblogs but I do my own content as well

82. Do you track any tags?

No, just blogs

83. What time is it currently?

10:39

84. Is there anything you should be doing right now?

writing

I’m not quite sure who to tag so it’s just open to anyone I guess?

#i love questionaires #they're so much fun

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mageicalwishes · 5 years ago

Text

A Smashing Summer - Chapter 3

Read on AO3: here

Read the previous chapter (On Tumblr): here

Summary: “I’m egging your house for a dare, but you’re parent is a cop and now they’re yelling at me, so I told them you were my ex and you wronged me, and now you’re coming outside, so please just go along with this, I really don’t want to go to jail” AU When Simon Snow agreed to egg some posho’s house, he never thought he’d find himself here - The only thing standing between himself and a criminal charge, the word of a handsome stranger.

Chapter: 3/?

Words: 1,694

Simon

I slide down against the sofa, pulling my phone out of my pocket, with a smile.

ME (19:57): Hey, hey, hey, Bazaroo!

ME (19:57): I’m super glad you liked the scones! They’re my absolute faveee

ME (19:57): I’ll bring enough to share next time :)

ME (19:58): How are you today?

To my delight, my phone buzzes with a response, almost immediately.

BP (19:58): If you ever call me that again, I will block your number. I’m not even joking.

BP (19:58): And, I’m pretty good, thanks. Yourself?

ME (19:59): Aw :( Imma just have to keep trying different names till I find one you like, then :p

ME (19:59): I’m great! Had a pretty good day today :)

ME (20:00): Sorry I didn’t message earlier btw - It’s been a busy day! Me and the lads went into town and played some footie, and then I had to do some dumb history essay (Idk who told my history teacher she could set homework in the holidays, but I wanna fight them!)

ME (20:00): I fucking despise the Tudors. I mean, why the fuck would I care about socio-economic policies from like a million years ago! Grrrr!

BP (20:01): No worries, Snow. I understand.

BP (20:01): That is unfortunate - But, you got lucky with the Tudors, to be honest. I’d rather that, than the bloody Industrial Revolution. That is mind-numbingly dull!

BP (20:02): But, I hate to break it to you - If you think the Tudor dynasty was a million years ago, then maybe you should reconsider your subject choice. You’ll definitely fail the A-level, if that’s your level of understanding.

ME (20:03): Aha trueee. Sucks to be you :p

ME (20:03): And stfu!! I know it wasn’t actually a million years ago, you tosser! I was BEING dramatic - You should've realised, you know ALL about that, Mr. Roll-your-eyes-every-two-fucking-seconds.

BP (20:04): I’m unconvinced.

Stupidly, I scoff aloud - Drawing Nathan’s attention away from the television and over to me. He stands, trudging over, and plopping down onto the sofa besides me.

I groan, frustrated.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing. Nothing … Just wondering who you’re texting,” he drawls, the mocking amusement clear in his tone. “Got yourself a new girlfriend, or something?”

“No! I’m just talking to Penny,” I defend, my voice rising suspiciously. Fuck. I’m such a crap liar.

“You know, I know you’re lying, right?”

“Obviously,” I drone. “Just … Butt out of it, though, yeah? Please.”

“Alright, alright” he laughs, throwing his hands up in a mock surrender. “I’ll leave you be. But, if you wanna keep your little buddy a secret - I’d advise against laughing at their messages in the bloody common room, you divvy.”

“Noted,” I sigh, turning towards the door. “Don’t tell Josh though, yeah?”

“Sure, Simon. If that’s what you want, your secret is safe with me.”

“Cheers, mate.” I smile. “You’re the best.”

“I know, I know. I’m amazing. Just go and text them, you mug!”

I do (Obviously). Quickly jogging upstairs, and locking myself in the bathroom - Where I’m safely hidden from prying eyes. Laying myself down in the bathtub, I hammer out a reply, sending it off Baz immediately.

ME (20:13): Whatever, dickhead!!

ME (20:13): Also soz I didn’t answer. Nathan was being nosy lol.

ME (20:13): Anyway … You been up to much today?

Baz

Just as I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I won’t be receiving a response, my phone buzzes loudly against my bedside table - My chest swelling pathetically, as I reach out and grab it.

Typing out a response, I find myself smiling - Unbridled joy melting away my impassive neutrality.

ME (20:14): No worries, Snow. It’s not as though I’m just sitting here, desperately awaiting your every response. I do have a life outside of you, you know.

That's not exactly true ... But, he doesn’t need to know that.

ME (20:14): And, no, not really. I’ve mostly just been reading. I did try to teach Mordelia how to play chess, though - Which was fairly disastrous.

SS (20:15): Lol! Sounds good :)

SS (20:15): Who is Mordelia, though?

SS (20:15): Is that your girlfriend?

I stare at my phone, blankly - Trying to formulate a response.

ME (20:17): Seriously?

Barely a second after I've send it, my phone starts buzzing furiously - Message after message, pouring in.

SS (20:17): What?

SS (20:17): That’s a perfectly valid question!

SS (20:17): You haven’t mentioned anyone called Mordelia, I swear to God!

SS (20:18): I’d remember, for sure.

SS (20:18): It’s not exactly a common name

ME (20:19): I know that, Snow. I was referring to the girlfriend question!

ME (20:19): I thought that we had already established that, a girlfriend isn’t exactly on the cards for me - Given the whole fake ex-boyfriend situation.

SS (20:20): Bi people exist, you moron!

SS (20:20): I’m Bi. Lol.

SS (20:20): I didn’t wanna assume you were only into guys … Or that you were even really into them at all.

SS (20:21): You totally could’ve been Bi!

SS (20:21): Or straight! The whole ex-boyfriend thing was a lie, remember? - You could’ve just been a straight bro, pretending to be into dudes, to help me out.

SS (20:22): It aint a dumb question, really. So … Don’t be annoying!!

Oh. Okay.

Newly nervous, I begin typing out my response - Ensuring that I sound perfectly unphased.

ME (20:22): Christ, Snow! You seriously have to stop sending so many texts in a row. My phone is going to have a meltdown, if you keep it up.

Hesitating slightly, I continue.

ME (20:23): But, you’re right. Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it to sound as though Gay and Straight were the only options. I could’ve been Bi … Or Straight, I suppose. But, to clarify - I’m definitely not. I’m gay.

ME (20:24): I guess that - Where I’ve known since I was eleven, and I stopped trying to hide it a while ago now, I sort of forget that it isn’t immediately apparent to everybody else. Everyone in my Family knows. Everyone at College, too. So, I just, sort of, forget that I can still be perceived as anything other than what I actually am.

SS (20:26): Hush you! I like multiple texts!! It’s easier to keep my track of my thoughts, like that. If I try to put it all in one text, I forget what I wanna say.

SS (20:26): And dw about it, it’s chill! I know you didn’t mean it like that, I was just teasing :)

SS (20:27): I get what you mean tho. Coming out was so scary … But now I sort of forget that not everybody knows. I just like to assume they do lol. It’s stopped being such a big thing, now that I can just, like, relax about it.

Unsure of how to respond, I type out a simple …

ME (20:28): Yeah.

SS (20:28): Yeah :)

SS (20:28): Seriously, tho. Who is Mordelia? You never actually answered me lol.

ME (20:29): She’s my little sister.

SS (20:30): Oh lol! That’s crazy! I didn’t think you had a sibling.

SS (20:30): You don’t give off doting big brother vibes.

SS (20:31): More like … Spoiled only child, ones. LOL! :D

SS (20:31): Is she your only sibling?

Unable to help myself, I chuckle, quietly.

ME (20:32): Very funny, Snow. But I never said I was doting! I may be their brother, but I still have standards.

ME (20:33): And, no (Unfortunately). I have three more - Two sisters, and a brother. They’re my step-siblings technically, though. And they’re quite a bit younger than me. So, I was an only child for quite a long time.

SS (20:33): Cool!

SS (20:34): Do they all have stupidly posh names, too?

SS (20:34): And, do you like having siblings?

SS (20:35): I always wanted a brother, when I was little!

ME (20:36): Yes. Unfortunately, my family are incapable of picking normal names.

ME (20:37): And, yes. Most of the time, anyway. It’s nice to always have somebody to talk to - Or to play with (Although, I think I would’ve appreciated that more, if the age-gap wasn’t quite so wide). But, they do drive me up the wall, sometimes! Mordelia has taken to drawing all over my revision notes, recently - I’m sure you can imagine how I felt about that!

SS (20:40): Aw, yeah. That sounds nice!

SS (20:40): LMAO! THAT’S HILARIOUS! I feel bad for her tho … I’d hate to have your wrath turned on me! You'd probs make me cry lol.

ME (20:41): Yes, well. Despite what you think - My wrath was, evidently, not strong enough! She’s still bloody doing it!

SS (20:43): Aha lol! I like her! She sounds as stubborn as you.

————————————————————————————

A soft rap on the door, disturbs me from my conversation with Snow.

“Baz, Honey? Are you in there?” Daphne calls, her voice sweet and cautious.

“Yeah? You can open the door. It’s fine - I’m decent.”

“Okay,” she hums, pushing the door open slightly, and peeping her head in. “I just wanted to let you know that I'm about to start plating up dinner.”

“Alright,” I smile. “Thank you. I’ll be down in a minute.”

“Perfect. See you then,” she sings, turning and leaving the room.

Hastily, I rattle out a text to Snow.

ME (21:14): As much as I am enjoying this, I have to go now, Snow. Sorry.

SS (21:14): Aw :( How come?

ME (21:15): I’ve got to go and eat dinner.

SS (21:15): At nine ?!?

ME (21:16): Yes, Snow - At nine. I must compliment you on your time-telling abilities!

ME (21:16): My Father insists that we eat dinner together as a family, but he was working late tonight … So, nine P.M steak it is.

SS (21:17): Aw fuck! You have steak! I’m well jel :(((

SS (21:17): But, okay, no worries! Hope you enjoy your dinner.

SS (21:18): TTYL :D

ME (21:18): Will do! Talk to you later. Goodbye for now :)

#carry on #wayward son #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch

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