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jisungsdaydreamer · 1 year ago

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Anti-Romantic | CHAPTER ONE | 18+

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

THE LOVE FRUIT

“Mangoes. A criminally overlooked aphrodisiac. People call it the love fruit, you know.”

«SERIES MASTERLIST»

Pairing: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader Genre: Non idol au, fluff, smut, romcom, drama, opposites attract Chapter Warnings: explicit sexual content, mentions of emotionally abusive ex, controlling friendships, heavy fantasizing, masturbation (m and f) graphic sex fantasy sequence (includes descriptions of intercourse), sitophilia (food play) Word Count: 16.3k

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“What is love?”

Hyunjin looks out at the expanse of eager minds in front of him, everyone blurring together in the darkened auditorium. He can’t see any of their faces, but it doesn’t matter. He’s only been on the stage for approximately thirteen seconds, but he already knows that they’re watching him in that familiar, delicious awe, quietly clawing at the sides of their seats in unbridled enthusiasm and desperation. And he can never blame them— Hyunjin’s kind of a catch.

He tucks his hands into his navy bespoke Armani trousers, appreciating the feeling of the silky inner lining against his fingertips. Even with such a casual gesture, he’s the picture of elegance; tall, devastatingly handsome, and movements fluid yet calculated, like a prima ballerina. Hyunjin is the kind of beauty that poets waste their lives over, pining over the perfect arch of his cupid’s bow to the aristocratic slope of his nose. As classic as an Italian prince, as unique as the moon herself.

“No, but seriously. What is love?” Hyunjin repeats his question into the mic, once more gracing his enthralled viewers with the rich, seductive notes of his voice. “Is it an emotion, that signal in your brain? A cliche? A cult?”

The audience ponders his words with bated breath, and Hyunjin takes the opportunity to continue.

“Or maybe it’s all just… lust.” Hyunjin whispers the last word while holding eye contact with an unsuspecting victim in the front row. The girl trembles and blushes under his heated gaze, looking down at her shoes in an attempt to hide her frazzled smile.

With a deliberate smirk, Hyunjin moves on to his next target in the audience. It can be anyone, yet another to fall for his endless charms. No one is immune. The cute reporter in the second row who will interview Hyunjin after he finishes his long awaited TED Talk. A wink. A lady in a big fur coat, old enough to be his grandmother. A beguiling smile. And even the stern looking security guard standing in the back. A brief, but loaded glance. Yep, Hyunjin doesn’t miss Guillermo’s cheeks turning red, even in this atrocious lighting.

A hesitant hand amongst the crowd slowly creeps upwards, bursting Hyunjin out of his momentary flirt bubble. “I think that love isn’t real.”

A smaller spotlight is immediately shined onto the timid speaker. It’s a boy in his early twenties, probably a junior in college, judging by his trendy sweatshirt and the freshness in his features. But that typical hopefulness is absent in his eyes, replaced with despair.

Heartbreak.

Hyunjin shoots the student a knowing smile. Because of his passion for the human mind, he had studied psychology in his own university days, before obtaining a doctorate and specializing in counseling— specifically, relationship counseling. He wears many different— and designer— hats: certified dating coach, therapist, and even researcher, when love needs to be approached as a neurological phenomenon in a laboratory setting. But his personal favorite role is being an expert on broken hearts. Something about being able to fix people satisfies the urge in Hyunjin to be the best, to be the brightest. What’s better than giving some of his light to someone who needs it?

“What’s your name?” Hyunjin steps closer to the edge of the stage, now fully focused on this poor fellow. Everyone else in the audience follows Hyunjin’s actions, curiously turning to get a better look of which lucky individual has been able to score a coveted interaction with Hyunjin.

The boy clears his throat nervously. “It’s Jeongin.”

“Jeongin,” Hyunjin tests, liking the playful feeling of the syllables on his tongue. He decides that the name fits the young man perfectly. “Why do you think that love isn’t real?”

“Because if it can come and go so quickly, it can’t be real.” Jeongin squares his shoulders before sitting up, a new fire in his voice. “If love dies before it’s even born, it must be a joke.”

Well, well, well.

Not only is this a broken heart, but this is a bitter broken heart— Hyunjin’s kryptonite, in the best possible way. Jeongin’s heart was soaring and then subsequently shattered, becoming one that Hyunjin is now dying to piece together, because there’s nothing he savors more than a challenge.

“I’ll ask you this.” Hyunjin slips his right hand out of his pocket, running his fingers through his hair. In one smooth motion, the dark, tousled locks fall back into an alluring set of eyes. “Do you want to be happy?”

Jeongin shakes his head, visibly frustrated. “What?”

Hyunjin isn’t deterred. “Love isn’t limited to just one person, Jeongin. Not even people in general.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“Love is simply what makes us happy. It’s our unscratchable itch. Our insatiable need. Our comfort in crisis.” Hyunjin takes out the tiny metal laser pointer in his pocket and directs everyone to gaze at the massive screen looming behind him, flipping through the presentation that he prepared himself. Most of the high profile speakers at TED throw that task over to their personal secretaries, but then again, Hyunjin isn’t most people.

A bowl of soup. A plate of pasta. A dish of chocolate cake. A stacked tower of choux pastry puffs. His audience, as Hyunjin calculated, is bemused with his choice of slideshow content, although Hyunjin is infamous as a loveable eccentric. These are all pictures and no words at all.

“Is your passion cooking? Could you do it for the rest of your life? Will you just combust if you can’t whip up this croquembouche right this moment? That’s love.” Hyunjin lingers on the image of the French confection. “Love is what makes our cold nights warm again, the very driving force that pushes us to be the greatest possible versions of ourselves.”

If Hyunjin was any other speaker, the same onlookers would burst into laughter and walk away, muttering that he had lost his marbles. Who would try to make a point about the most confounding concept in all creation— the very entity that even the Stanford Encyclopedia of Psychology hesitantly attempted to define— with a series of pictures that belong in an episode of Chopped, not freaking TED? No one except Hyunjin, and rightfully so. It’s the reason why they all keep their backsides glued to the velvet upholstery, respectfully silent and anticipating being enlightened.

“Love can be platonic, love can be romantic, love can be anything in this whole universe. Love is what makes us human. It reminds us that life is worth it, that after all, maybe there’s something left to fight for.” Hyunjin gives Jeongin a small, but sincere smile. “It’s why I’ve committed myself to helping people find it, to protect it.”

Jeongin sits back in his seat in acceptance, and Hyunjin knows that even though the inferno has just subsided, not been completely put out, the flames probably aren’t so scorching anymore. Maybe he’s scored himself a new client.

Satisfied, Hyunjin turns back to the rest of his audience hungrily waiting for his eloquent scraps. “I’m Hwang Hyunjin. But you might know me as the Love Doctor.”

There are only so many episodes of Celebrity Wedding Disasters you can binge on Youtube before you begin to feel sick of yourself. Yes, watching freaking Brad Pitt get dumped at the altar makes you feel better about your own hopeless situation. But does it actually help your hopeless situation? No, it does not. Because watching other people suffer the same life as you does not solve your own problems. They’re all still there, at the end of the day, when you come home to an eerily quiet apartment, or in the morning, when you stretch out on your bed just to feel like you’re being swallowed up by the empty space next to you.

And now? The sound playing from your computer speakers starts to melt into a drone, and the artificial lighting of the videos on the screen blurs your vision, augmenting the sagging under your eyes. You haven’t gotten up from your little space in the corner of your living room in eight hours, resorting to hunching over your computer and surrounding yourself with snacks in case you got hungry. You’re clad in an old pajama set that’s too small for you and wrapped in a blanket that should have been put into the washing machine weeks ago. For the time since you gave up trying to work, you’ve been huddled in a fetal position on your couch, staring at your computer screen with no aim, no purpose.

Bashful rays of light peak through the gaps in the curtains drawn closed over the windows, and the air conditioner sputtered and shut down hours ago, after months of you putting repairs off. And your computer has died, but you’re too lazy to reach over to the outlet and plug your charger back in. It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and every other healthy young person is probably out doing something productive or fun, definitely not being cooped up in their apartments after a myriad of trashy videos. But you count your blessings that you aren’t in the worst circumstance, because anything is better than dealing with—

The telltale trill of your cellphone knocks you out of thanking your stars, a cruel coincidence to the appreciation you harbored just moments earlier for the divinities above. The only people who would call you at a time like this— your time— would be the only people who you really, really didn’t want to see right now. You don’t even have to check the caller ID before you’re answering the phone, your signature snark prepared to lash out at any unwelcome dialogue.

“What?”

“Good morning to you too, Y/N,” Irene chirps, irritating you even further. “Lovely weather today. I’m with Sana and Mina.”

First, she interrupts your quality time brooding on your own, and second, she has the nerve to be cheerful about it. You try not to lose it and just scream at her to fuck off.

“Let’s skip the small talk, Irene. Can I help you?”

You don’t hate Irene, nor Sana and Mina, for the matter. You’re just tired of their presence in your life. Once upon a time, you were enthralled by these three pretty, wealthy, and perfect girls, letting them take you in and guide you through your youth. A tight-knit group since they were in diapers, the girls wouldn’t let just anyone into their circle, so the fact that they chose you to join them made you feel special. Being a part of them felt like being welcomed into a genuine friendship, a sisterhood. There were horror movie marathons snuggled together in your dorm rooms, gossip and advice sessions on the phone, late night drives with the music blasting on the stereo.

But that admiration and belonging turned into exhaustion, over time, and they became no better than a stereotypical high school clique. They were suffocating you, filling you with regret of ever meeting them at all. They couldn’t respect that you were your own person, with your own emotions, and that you solely were entitled to governing your actions. Little things built upon each other, and you slowly began to detest them. You truly found out how eroded your relationship with Irene, Sana, and Mina was almost two years ago. You were heartbroken, but all they had told you was to patch up and move on. Showing feeling and falling apart was unacceptable to the “Golden Trio,” as you came to call them, because it was “unhealthy” to them. Complete and utter happiness was always the goal, and you couldn’t bog yourself or the others down. Rest, rinse, and repeat. You came to realize that you would rather reject the good parts of the relationship rather than have your imperfections be dismissed and your life be controlled.

Before replying to you, Irene is quiet for a moment, and you swear you can hear her whispering to the other girls. “Are you still in bed?”

“No.” Technically, you aren’t lying— you’re on the sofa.

She sighs, seeing straight through your bullshit like she always did, the unspoken ringleader of the whole entourage. “It’s nearly ten in the morning, honey. Why don’t you come out to brunch with us in an hour or so?”

You roll your eyes. You hate when Irene calls you “honey”— it sounds sweet but has the most condescending undertone. “I’m busy.”

“Busy doing nothing. We need to talk to you. Please, Y/N. It’s important.”

Although having yet another fussy and feathery brunch with the Golden Trio is the absolute last thing you believe to be important, you know you have no other option. Irene will keep pestering you until you relent, so it’s better to save yourself the time and just get it over with. Balling up your fist, you reluctantly respond. “Fine.”

“Great! See you soon!” Irene trills, ending the call before you can even say goodbye. Not that you even wanted to, anyway.

With an enraged groan, you flop off of your stomach and open the windows, letting in some fresh air and sunlight. As you gaze outside of your window, observing the city slowly wake up, all you want to do is wallow in your self pity and frustration. For the longest time, you’ve told yourself that you’re fine with being alone; love just isn’t in the cards for someone like you. So you threw yourself into your job, struggling towards achieving your dreams, but as of late, the path to your passion has become another burden in your life.

Sighing, you shake away your thoughts and tidy up the living room, already put off by the microscopic chip crumbs on the coffee table and the way the throw pillows are strewn about on the rug. After everything is back in place, you make your way over to your room, silently noting that your sofa stay at least meant that you didn’t have to make your bed today. You take a shower and don yourself in your typical uniform of straight jeans, sneakers, and a boxy blazer. Cute, practical, and unassuming.

Quickly, you scarf down some toast and orange juice, because you definitely will not be able to afford even half of the menu items at the usual restaurant that the Golden Trio dines at for brunch. Before you lock your apartment and leave, you check yourself out in the mirror in the small corridor that houses the entrance.

“Just in and out,” you say to your reflection. “Breathe.”

The drive to brunch is less than fifteen minutes. However, you make a few unnecessary turns around the block in your second-hand Subaru, not ready to face the Golden Trio just yet.

At exactly eleven, Irene’s profile picture— a headshot taken by a professional photographer— pops up on your phone screen. You ignore it and swiftly find a parking spot among all of the luxury cars, muttering to yourself. The Terrace is an upscale eatery that the Golden Trio frequents for weekend brunches, and you’re unfortunately roped into their plans more often than not. You walk into the restaurant, dodging a businessman in a costly-looking suit and a group of renegading TikTok influencers trying to take pictures. You take your time greeting Keeho, the hilarious UCLA student who hosts at The Terrace during the weekends. And then you scan the outdoor dining patio, as if you don’t already know the location of the Golden Trio’s preferred table by the edge of the patio, the one with the perfect view of the Hollywood sign in the distance.

“Y/N!” Sana gasps in faux surprise as you take your seat next to her. “So nice of you to join us… thirteen minutes late.”

You clench your jaw and force a smile. “Oh, well, you did just call me an hour ago, so.”

Sana returns your sarcasm with an aggressive beam, showing off all of her perfectly aligned, blindingly white teeth. Mina watches the venomous exchange in amusement, while Irene just rolls her eyes.

“Let’s get to the point, ladies.” Irene leans forward, and the other two follow suit, like they always do.

You stay put in your chair, comfortably leaning back, like you always do. “I’d love to know why you called me to brunch, Irene. You know this isn’t my scene.”

“Nothing besides your damn computer is your scene,” Mina retorts, sipping on her mimosa. Irene purses her lips to hide her grin, while Sana openly cackles.

You glower at them, saying nothing. The Golden Trio sat around the array of gourmet dishes like hens around a feeding hopper, craning for the best cuts and chances of picking on you, as usual.

“Can you just stop wasting my time and tell me why I’m here?” You take a swig of water, already counting down the minutes until you can make up an excuse and leave early.

The girls exchange knowing glances before Irene zeroes in on you. Even though she’s the oldest out of all four of you, she still looks the most stunning, with her cherry lips and elegant features.

“Y/N, we’ve been thinking that it’s time for you to find someone.” Irene reaches across the table and grasps your hands, making you cringe in surprise.

You raise an eyebrow at Irene, already dreading what path this conversation is taking. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Irene delicately cuts into her vegetable omelet, taking a small bite. “We just want you to be happy. And we know that it’s been hard, ever since Jisung.”

At the mention of your ex-boyfriend, you wrench your hands out of Irene’s grip. “Don’t you dare bring him up.”

Mina smacks her lips, nonchalantly reapplying her magenta lipstick. “I told you that she’d be angry.”

Irene sighs, massaging her temples. “Be reasonable, Y/N. This is for your own good. You’ve been alone for too long.”

“That is not for you to decide.” You nearly want to laugh out loud at this point. “This is my business. Not yours.”

But then again, the girls have never been able to respect your own feelings. You are their puppet to string along and their doll to dress up. To them, you’re not a real human being, capable of making your own decisions— both good and bad.

Two years ago, you were dumped by your first and last boyfriend, Park Jisung. It was a traumatizing relationship, to say the least. For all your life, you’ve struggled with romance and just the whole idea of intimacy, of getting close to someone and truly letting them see you. Jisung had taken your fragile heart, the one you had so cautiously extended to him, and shattered it on the ground.

The months you were with him were so full of emotional abuse on his part, that by the time you caught him cheating on you, you weren’t even surprised. You’d pathetically begged him to stay, crying that you’d forgiven him, but after his initial apologies, he’d left you. What made you the angriest wasn’t the anguish he had caused you. It was how he’d gotten the last word, breaking up with you and leaving you behind to rot. You swore that you would never let someone do that to you again. Everyday, you go to bed alone and wake up alone. Every single day, and you don’t have any intention of changing that.

“Of course not,” Sana says, stabbing viciously at her eggs and making you wince. “But you know, appearances matter.”

Irene shakes her head. “Honey, this lonely, mopey look doesn’t suit you. Johnny says that people are talking, saying that you’re some sort of recluse.”

You scoff, blood boiling at the thought of Irene’s fiancé. He grew up on his father’s bottomless wallet and was no better than any stereotypical rich playboy. All he did was run his mouth and on occasion, his damn country club that you couldn’t even afford to step inside.

“She kind of is a recluse,” Mina interrupts. “Like, just get a life, maybe?”

Mina’s words sting, like they always do. But you refuse to give her the satisfaction, instead answering Irene. “I couldn’t care less about Johnny Suh and what his useless friends at the club are saying. I’m fine how I am.”

Sana dabs at her mouth with her napkin, careful not to smudge her makeup. “You’re not, though.”

Irene glares at Sana, shutting her up, before turning back to you. You recognize the look in her eyes; that soft, cajoling pull that makes anyone do her bidding. That look is why you had not left this toxic company yet, but you’re starting to feel the effect of it slowly wear off.

“Y/N. Just hear me out.” Irene sorts through her violet Kate Spade tote bag, before pulling out a business card and handing it to you.

In spite of yourself, you take the card, feeling the thick, rich quality of the paper, and the gold lettering.

“Dr. Hwang…” You read out loud. “‘The Love Doctor?’ What the hell?”

“He’s a relationship therapist and dating expert. He also runs a matchmaking service and coaches his clients.” Irene explains.

“I have eyes. I can read the card, Irene,” you spit out, turning the paper around in your fingers. “And I definitely don’t trust anyone recommended by you. Especially not some corny weirdo called the ‘Love Doctor.’”

“Oh, get over yourself, Y/N. I know a billion trainwrecks that Dr. Hwang has fixed.” Mina shudders in thought. “He’s pretty good, you know?”

“No, actually. I don’t know. I don’t know anything about this stupid Love Doctor.” You grind your teeth, desperately trying not to slap some sense into Mina. “I’m not going to trust a stranger with all of my thoughts… my fears, my hopes.”

“This is such a waste of time,” Sana whines, getting up from her seat and smoothing out her dress. “I’m going to go talk to Chris. BRB, girls.”

Sana flounces away in the direction of the hot bartender mixing and pouring drinks for patrons. Mina rolls her eyes, picking at her acrylic nails.

“She literally has a boyfriend,” Mina huffs, before getting up and following after her.

You turn back to Irene. “Is that how you want me to be? Both Sana and Mina are in relationships, except one pretends to not have a boyfriend, and the other is too bitchy to care about hers.”

“You’re not wrong.” Irene lets out a hearty chuckle, tracing the rim of her champagne flute. “But no one outside of our circle really knows about what’s going on with them, behind the scenes. They’re still perfect.”

“Why does it matter so much? Being perfect? Why does it matter so much to you if I am?” You question her, at a loss.

“I care about you.” Irene folds her hands in front of her plate. “You’re my friend.”

Friend.

That word takes you back to a few years ago, when you weren’t able to find a date to the frat party Johnny threw when you were all in college. You failed to follow Irene’s instructions, and as the expected result, Irene didn’t bother saying anything to you. You felt her anger through her silent treatment, as you stood by the door, feeling like a loser. You watched the rest of the Golden Trio giggle with their own dates, and Irene— no matter how big of a crush she used to have on Johnny before they became an item— was staring at you all night, soaking in your shame and unhappiness. You should have realized back then that the Golden Trio was just gilt. At least, you have now.

You snort in wry amusement, grabbing your keys and slapping down a fifty on the table, your general portion of the meal you didn’t even partake in. “I don’t know what I am to you, but I’m definitely not your fucking friend.”

Ignoring Irene’s pleas hitting your retreating back, you leave The Terrace, vowing never to go back.

On the weekends, you usually either work from home or aimlessly surf the internet. Either way, you’ll be staring at your computer until your eyes hurt. Today, however, you’re determined to prove that you can take a day off and enjoy it. It’s why you walk out of the luxury salon after being scrubbed, steamed, waxed, plucked, and primped all over your body. You don’t even want to think of how expensive it all was, completely disregarding the shiny $200 acrylics adorning your nails.

You spend the rest of the day browsing a vintage bookstore on the Los Angeles marina, devoutly avoiding the romance section like you always did. After splurging on a set of horror novels by the latest trending author, you decide to go home and relax— just because you aren’t outside doesn’t mean you’re moping around, unlike what the Golden Trio believes.

Who needs some hotshot Love Doctor when you’ve got Stephen King?

Sitting back on your couch with your book, you kick out your legs in front of you and attempt to unwind. But of course, you’re one line into the first page when your thoughts get the better of you. You glance across the open-concept layout of your apartment and over at your handbag, which is haphazardly strewn onto your bed; the business card that Irene gave you seems to be an incessant force in your mind. After a few seconds of trying to fight the urge to not let your curiosity best you, you give up, rolling off the sofa and rummaging through the bag to find the card.

Palming the small piece of paper, you settle onto your bed on your stomach, dimming the lights and logging into your computer. You type in the website address listed on the card into Google, impatiently tapping on the mouse. Finally, the page loads.

Your vision is blessed by a soft palette of pinks and beiges, a sparkling layout, flashy buttons and graphics, all designed to reel in even the most technologically inept grandparents. But that’s not what you’re enticed by: a giant picture of the most beautiful man that you have ever laid eyes on is pasted onto the main cover of the website. Immediately, you read further only to find out that this total babe is the Love Doctor that Irene couldn’t shut the fuck up about.

You zoom in on the bio printed below the image, devouring it like the King novel you should be reading instead right now. “What the…?”

Dr. Hwang Hyunjin is a lot of things: a relationship therapist, intimacy expert, dating coach, psychology researcher, and etc. But the title that truly encapsulates his essence is: the Love Doctor, the savant who leads his clients through the pains and triumphs of life, loss, and of course, love.

After graduating from Columbia University summa cum laude and obtaining his doctorate in psychology at Stanford, Dr. Hwang founded SeoulSpark, a practice dedicated to providing guidance and opportunities for any with those special ailments of the heart. The rest of Dr. Hwang’s credentials and outstanding achievements are listed below. In his freetime, Dr. Hwang loves to write poetry, go horseback riding, and take long walks on the beach.

Appointments must be reserved through the ‘Bookings’ page. Dr. Hwang and his associates may be requested on the basis of availability.

A few minutes of getting sidetracked in an internet stalking session alerted you to how in addition to overseeing his own private practice and working there as a therapist and coach, Dr. Hwang also operates a clinical trial on the neuropsychological approach of studying the nature of love at the National Institutes of Health. And to top it all off, he comes highly recommended by Selena Gomez in her latest Vogue interview— turns out, he’s the one who helped her move on from Justin Beiber and find a more gratifying partner— and has even met with Michelle Obama over tea on NPR’s Life Kit podcast to discuss the psychology of relationships. He’s a public figure, a celebrity of sorts himself, but has graciously rejected the title in favor of a more private life.

“Wow,” you murmur. “So he’s hot and smart.”

Irene and her sidekicks are wrong about a lot, but one thing they are right about is that you’re just absolutely lonely. Growing up, you were a hopeless romantic who constantly dreamed of a fairytale romance, romanticizing every aspect of your interactions with others. But a lifetime of being unlucky in love taught you that there is no such thing as true love.

First, there was a series of unfortunately unrequited crushes in high school, all ending in you watching the boy you liked ride off into the sunset with someone else— usually a popular, pretty girl. Then came Holland, the cute boy in your calculus class who seemed like he actually returned your feelings. You both flirted for a while, before Holland ended up secretly coming out to you as gay. And of course, there was Jisung, the dirtbag who told you he loved you and then proceeded to break your heart. Love obviously isn’t on the cards for you.

Therefore, you’re now an insufferable pessimist when it comes to romance. You make fun of every couple you see in public, religiously watch wedding fails on Youtube, and absolutely hate romantic comedies. You stonily ignore the Tinder app that Mina once pressured you into downloading, even though it’s burning a hole into your phone.

You try to fill up that void in your heart by throwing yourself into work or participating in those idiotic “girls nights” that Irene throws, which usually just entail grinding up on drunk trust funders on someone’s yacht.

But on a night like this, you’re bound to confront the truth: you are alone, and deep inside, you know you don’t want to be, no matter how much you pretend you don’t care. Which is why you let the computer cursor hover over the various appointment time slots, considering registration.

Wait, what? You shoot up from your previous position, sitting straight as every ounce of lethargy exits your body. You cannot actually be thinking of this guy’s services, especially when the recommendation came from Irene. But then again, do you really want your decisions to be determined by her? Do you care enough about spiting her that you’ll prevent your own happiness? What if this Love Doctor actually works?

With a groan, you go back to scrolling through Dr. Hwang’s bio once more, weighing your options, when you notice a link at the bottom of the page. You click on it, and it takes you to a video uploaded on Youtube. The bold, glaring red letters and the dark, dramatic backdrop alert you to a TED talk— and a very cherished one, too, with how thunderous the applause is when welcoming the speaker.

Intrigued, you sit forward, promising yourself that your assessment of Dr. Hwang’s TED talk will determine whether or not you’ll see both his physical and evidently intellectual gorgeousness in real life or not. However, from the very first question that he utters, you know your decision.

“What is love?”

You’re sweaty. You’d like to blame it on the unforgiving Los Angeles heat, but you once read that seeing a therapist is like owning your truth. You want to start being honest even before you meet Dr. Hwang, so you accept that the dampness under your arms is due to the fact that you are just really fucking nervous.

After tossing and turning in your bed all night, you tried your best to look presentable. You showered, blow-dried your hair, and put on minimal makeup reserved for special occasions. But the pretty yellow sundress and sandals that you chose— in the spirit of being symbolically optimistic— feel elementary right now, especially now that you’re setting foot inside the most glamorous office you have ever encountered.

Upon observing the magnificently dripping crystal chandelier adorning the ceiling, marble flooring that you’re afraid of scuffing, and a jazz rendition of “Clair de lune” playing in the background, you’re convinced that this place is much too luxurious to be a shrink’s company space. Hell, it’s on the ninth floor of one of the ritziest buildings downtown. But, then again, you definitely weren’t expecting the person that Irene recommended to be this otherworldly adonis, instead of some kind of Karen ready to lecture you about having a “healthy love life” or “putting out”— yes, you do watch too much TV and have quite the imagination, so you try to keep your judgements and lofty expectations to a minimum.

After signing-in with the receptionist— this sweet guy with freckles, sunny blond hair, and an even sunnier disposition— you sit down on the white leather sofa in the lobby. According to the brochure you swiped at the front desk, this place is so big that it has separate wings, like the freaking Hogwarts castle: one for therapy and coaching— or “guidance”— one for matchmaking services, and one for “health,” where clients and employees alike can rewind and socialize. Following a few minutes of rapidly swiping through the home screen and apps on your phone, trying to look occupied and definitely not intimidated by everything, the receptionist calls your name and directs you to Dr. Hwang’s office.

You know you’re incredibly lucky to have scored a session with Dr. Hwang, who’s obviously the most sought-after on the full list of all who work at SeoulSpark. Last night, when you were scouring SeoulSpark’s Yelp reviews (all of them were five-stars), people were raving about Dr. Hwang. Yet, as you walk through the luxe little corridor that leads you to the guidance sector, you can’t help but feel the regret that unfurls in your stomach. Perhaps you were subconsciously following Irene’s orders, that natural instinct to follow and not think still manifesting. Perhaps you were just enticed by Dr. Hwang’s visuals and repertoire. Or maybe, you just wanted to do something with your damn time for once, instead of constantly thinking about how sucky your life is. Either way, this all feels like a mistake, but it’s too late to turn back now, especially since the woman that you assume is Dr. Hwang’s assistant has spotted you.

She gets up from her desk. “Hello there! You must be Y/N.”

“That’s me!” You exclaim, in a way that probably seems too enthusiastic to be genuine. Your eyes trail to the name badge pinned to the lapel of her stylish cream-colored pantsuit. “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Jang.”

“Likewise,” she says with a friendly smile that just accentuates her flawless features.

Is everyone who works here just ridiculously attractive?

“Dr. Hwang is all ready for you.”

You quickly thank her, wiping your sweaty palms on your skirt and praying you don’t look scared. The last thing you want to do is freak out your potential therapist with your horrendous love life, even though his literal job is to deal with basket cases of romance. Taking in a deep breath, you warily place your hands on the grand pair of frosted glass doors adjacent to Ms. Jang’s desk and push them open.

A cool gust of air welcomes you into Dr. Hwang’s office, and the first thing you notice is the blinding natural light flooding from the floor-to-ceiling windows. The one time you ever visited a therapist was immediately after the whole ordeal with Jisung; the cramped little room filled with wilted potted plants and dim light from a depressing yellow lamp had made you want to never see another therapist again. This place, however, looks more like one of those glitzy workspaces straight out of a Manhattan legal drama. You can practically see the dollar signs stamped onto everything here, from the panache but tasteful L-shaped sofa to the sultry modern art adorning the blush-colored walls. But the impeccable interior design is not what has got you temporarily incapacitated—

“I hope I haven’t kept you waiting too long.”

A voice as smooth as his honeyed skin and perpetual charm. A fresh breath of air in the merciless Californian heat that constitutes your entire life. A tidal wave upon the drowsy coastline of your heart. Absolute sin in your undeserving ears. You ponder what language even is, if you’ve never heard anyone articulate their entire aura like this in a mere jumble of words. Dr. Hwang smiles at you warmly— a sight that should remind you of a toasty cup of hot chocolate, but instantly spreads a raging, insatiable wildfire through your nerves.

You speechlessly stay rooted to the spot like a damn oak tree as Dr. Hwang approaches you, with the controlled movement and dripping allure of a jaguar. As he nears you, you have to blink multiple times to adjust to how truly dazzling he is, and how the pictures of him online cannot even compare to his person. You would not hesitate to believe him if he claimed that he walked here straight off the runway, but his beauty is rapturous, less of an airbrushed model and more reminiscent of a Botticelian masterpiece.

Maybe Charles Dickens was wrong— you see everything you want in the glittering multitude that makes up Hyunjin’s eyes. Big, soulful, contemplative. A gaze like a midnight reverie. A radiance like black diamonds encased in velvet. They reel you in like you’re silk thread and he’s a needle, like you’re an astronomer and he’s the entire galaxy. You take in the mole under his left eye, and it reminds you of a stray splatter of dark paint on an ivory canvas. It’s enchanting, like a lone star in the night sky.

“You’re good.” You barely manage, now focused on his lips that are just begging to be kissed. A delicate pink, like the lingering stain after eating cherries. Full and inviting, soft with the promises of a good time. On your own lips. On your skin. On your neck.

Those pretty lips curve into an enigmatic smile, Cheshire-like almost. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

The way he pronounces your name so eloquently sends a spark straight through your body. You never thought much of your name, but with how Hyunjin says it, it might as well be one of those irresistible words that Pinterest logophiles save. It sounds lovely, ethereal, sublime. Just like him.

“And you as well, Dr. Hwang.” You inhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down, but instead, you get a breath full of his scent; he smells like a rainstorm over a field of jasmine. Tantalizingly petrichor, with a slightly floral and sensual edge.

“Please, call me Hyunjin.”

“O-okay, Hyunjin.” A bewitching name for an even more bewitching man.

Hyunjin gestures for you to sit down on the sofa and positions himself on the chair behind his desk, a smoke-cracked glass piece arranged in front of a transparent wall that provides breathtaking views of downtown L.A. You can only imagine what the views are like at night— the city lights, of course. Definitely not of Hyunjin pushing you onto his costly desk and doing you in the dark.

“So, Y/N, darling,” Hyunjin begins, spreading his hands out on the desk in front of him.

Darling?! Ohmyfuckinggod.

You cough. “Sorry?”

“Tell me anything. Impressions, ruminations. Just be honest.”

That’s new and different. You thought Hyunjin would dole out the usual pleasantries, like “how are you” or “the weather is nice,” not ask you to “be honest.” What kind of person expects blatant candor after knowing them for literal seconds? Well, a therapist, probably. And a very eccentric one, at that. So you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind.

“Everyone here seems so… happy. It’s weird.” The hot receptionist, Hyunjin’s secretary, and even the janitor wiping the floors in the lobby.

Hyunjin lets out a hearty laugh, his eyes squinting into a crescent moon shape that you find very endearing. “Well, they seem happy because they are. Happiness isn’t rare.”

“Feels like it most of the time,” you mutter, your thoughts flashing over to work, Irene, and all of the times that you eat dinner alone.

“That’s why you’re here, no?” Hyunjin folds his hands. “Talk to me.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be asking me questions? And I answer them? Isn’t that what most therapists do?”

“I’m not like most therapists. This is how it begins.”

Of course you aren’t.

As you hesitate, Hyunjin keeps quiet patiently while letting your thoughts unfurl. Maybe it was Jisung, or maybe it was being constantly let down by the people around you, but somewhere along the way, you lost trust in others— you wouldn’t ever let them see who you really are. Ever since, you’ve put up your guard walls, harboring a testy, stormy attitude that scares anyone away before they can ever leave you behind. You put up with the Golden Trio’s nonsense because although they practically used you for their own enjoyment, at least they had never withdrawn for you. You don’t hate yourself, but you don’t feel content with who you are. You never knew if you really would be.

And you don’t know Hyunjin. To you, he’s the man whose photos you pored over on Google, the one who you held a sparse conversation for a matter of mere minutes. You shouldn’t want to be exposed in front of him, but you know you already are, with the way his piercing gaze seems to see right through you. For the first time, you don’t hate the feeling of being vulnerable. You don’t know if it’s the kindness in his bedroom eyes that haven’t strayed from you, or if it’s the warmth that even someone as regal as him exudes, but you embrace the feeling of security that his presence wraps you in. Like your inhibitions are drowning in the distant crevices of your mind. You don’t know what it is that compels you to tell this beautiful stranger anything, but for once, you don’t question it.

“I’m just so tired of my damn life.”

The words come out of you in a rush, a sob, almost, because it feels so good to finally say it out loud. You’ve kept your dissatisfaction inside of you for the longest time, just pretending that the grumpiness is part of your personality, not your sadness, because you’ve always been afraid of what people would say. But when you peek up at him, Hyunjin’s expression betrays nothing. Placid, and waiting for you to go on. So you do.

“Nothing seems to be working. I try, try, and try to do better at work, but lately, even my dream job feels like a burden. I don’t really have any friends. I’m single. I act like I’m fine, but I’m really not. I don’t want to feel like this, like I’m trapped. I don’t want to give Jisung that much power over me, but unfortunately, he does have it all.” A huge weight has been lifted off of your drooping shoulders, but the bitterness still remains on your tongue.

Hyunjin takes a moment to finish up whatever notes he’s jotting down in his cream-colored journal, before looking up at you. “And Jisung is your ex?”

You freeze. You didn’t even realize that you brought up Jisung, and even worse, you completely overlooked how he probably knows a lot more about you than you think. After registering for an appointment, you were redirected to fill out this short quiz filled with questions about your romantic history, your job, and basic information. Like a slightly intruding business dinner in the form of a questionnaire. You couldn’t finish the form without getting slightly tipsy on wine, because of how gut-wrenching it was reliving everything. You forgot that your coach would have access to your answers, after brushing it all off as a silly formality. And you really thought this would all be genuine.

You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief and skepticism. “You already know, Dr. Hwang. Why bother asking me? You have my questionnaire results. You think I’m hopeless. You’re just being polite.”

“Hyunjin,” he corrects, undeterred by your words. “And I actually don’t. I look at the results after I meet with my clients. I would rather garner my first impression of you on the person you really are, not through an online quiz.”

“Then how did you know that Jisung’s my ex?”

Hyunjin’s eyes crinkle with tenderness. “It wasn’t very difficult. He hurt you, I can see it.”

You swallow harshly, overwhelmed both by the thought of Jisung and the way Hyunjin’s looking at you right now. Compassion, gentleness, understanding. A complete foil to the constant indifference and borderline aversion Jisung treated you with. Right now, you don’t feel ugly, even with your scars so raw, open. You feel seen. You realize that Hyunjin has a way of getting you to open up by saying very little.

“He was my first boyfriend. First love, first kiss, first… well, you know.” You pause, blushing at the words that have escaped your mouth, but continue in spite of your shame. To hell with it. “He made me feel wanted, for once. I mean, I’ve literally been a fake date for my gay ex-situationship, and the first time I tried to get into a real relationship, which was with my former neighbor, he ghosted me after two dates. And then he moved away. Jisung… he gave me everything I thought I needed.”

You look up at Hyunjin, unsure. The tears are already shining in your eyes, threatening to spill out. Hyunjin nods encouragingly, pushing you on.

“We were together for almost a year. And the entire time, he gaslighted me into doubting myself. He always kept cheating on me, I knew that. But I finally caught him screwing his assistant in my bed, right before we broke up.” You close your eyes. “No, before he broke up with me. God, my friends were right. I am so pathetic.”

Hyunjin sets his pen down firmly on the glass table, making you open your eyes. His starry gaze is intense, like that all-too-familiar inferno settled inside of you. “Darling, those are no friends of yours. There’s nothing pathetic about believing in someone, for putting your faith in them. Don’t ever say that again.”

“Right. Because I didn’t tell him over and over again that I forgave him. I didn’t beg him to stay, when he said he was tired of me. When he wanted new things.” You let out a dry laugh. “When it was over, everyone acted like I fumbled. Hell, he works at SM Technologies. Rich, handsome, well-connected.”

“Fuck that hack. That’s not why you loved him, though,” Hyunjin insists, his explicit language surprising you. Even in this way, he seems more poised than you ever could be. “You loved him because he made you feel loved. He accepted you. You lowered your standards for him, and he used you.”

You turn your head away from Hyunjin, not wanting him to watch you cry. But you know he’s already seen the tears streaming freely down your cheeks. “So, are you supposed to help me move on from here? Find someone new? SeoulSpark has matchmaking services, right? I mean, it’s been two years, and I’m still not over it. Sorry I’m a fucking antiromantic.”

It’s Hyunjin’s turn to shake his head. “Darling, you’re misunderstanding me. I don’t help my clients find relationships. I don’t care if you walk out still single or if you’re polyamorous. I care that you’re happy, satisfied with who you are, romantically. I’m here to guide you through that. Let me help you.”

The tears that had dripped so effusively onto your skin dry as Hyunjin holds your gaze, studying your features and saying nothing. And then your stomach chooses that inopportune moment to grumble, and very loudly indeed. In that astoundingly mortifying moment, you swear to never, ever skip breakfast again.

Hyunjin clears his throat, rising from his seat. “Where are my manners? Would you like something to drink? Or eat, maybe?”

“Um, a mango?” You don’t know why, or how, but your brain just zeroes in on mangoes. You don’t even like the damn fruit. Who the fuck would specifically ask for mangoes, instead of something reasonable, like coffee, or tea? You glare up at the ceiling, cursing your emotional dry spell for making you act so embarrassingly.

But Hyunjin just smiles. “Mangoes. A criminally overlooked aphrodisiac. People call it the love fruit, you know.”

You gulp. Now you’re imagining Dr. Hwang— er, Hyunjin— chopping up a bunch of whole mangoes like he’s in Fruit Ninja, before erotically eating each slice, licking at the flesh, juice slowly dripping down that chin sculpted by the gods. Two seconds ago, you were crying about your evil ex and now you’re dreaming about Hyunjin starring as some sort of a seductive sensei.

What the fuck?!

“Oh. Yeah, I didn’t know that.”

Hyunjin is unfazed by your awkwardness, simply walking over to the pink-pastel minifridge in the corner of his office and bringing out a paper bowl of unfortunately pre-cut mangoes that you accept gingerly. “Enjoy.”

“Thank you.” You cautiously place a cube of mango in your mouth.

Your eyes suddenly widen at the sweet yet tangy explosion of flavor on your tongue. Creamy yet juicy, refreshing yet indulging, just succulent on your lips. Hyunjin giggles at your amazed reaction to the fruit. “Do you like it?”

“Yes.” You chew on the tart skin of the mango and swallow. “Do you know where your secretary might have bought this?”

“Wonyoung didn’t buy it, I did.” Hyunjin grins, sipping on his own glass of water. “5-Star Grocery. I went just today, actually.”

You finish off the rest of the fruit in no time, swiping the mango residue on your fork clean with your lips. When you’re done, you look up from the bowl to see Hyunjin gazing intently at you. You were probably taking forever to eat, and he was waiting for you. “Oh, sorry about that. This was really good.”

Hyunjin shakes his head vigorously. “No, no, it’s not that.”

You curiously tilt your head at him, wondering what’s got him so worked up. “Did I say something, Dr. Hwa- I mean, Hyunjin?”

“No, you didn’t.” Hyunjin stands up and takes your bowl, throwing it away in the disposal for you. “Let’s get back to our conversation.”

You nod, your thoughts fluttering back to Jisung, the ache replacing the lust that reigned inside of you, moments earlier. “I have tried to see other people, but it’s been hard.”

“How so?” Hyunjin clicks on his pen, putting it in a position ready to write.

You toy with the hem of your dress, your face heating up. “I tried using Tinder. I even matched with this one guy, San. We got dinner. But later that night, when… when we were about to um, have sex, I just couldn’t. San was really nice and understanding about everything, but I felt so bad. I’ve only slept with one person before, Jisung, and I don’t know. It’s so humiliating.”

Hyunjin frowns. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. First, it’s normal to be wary of intimacy after a long-term relationship. And second, we all have varying levels of sexual comfort. You’ll find your own pace. Our sexuality is essential to our health, and there’s nothing humiliating about it.”

“It’s not like I’m not experienced, though,” you say quickly.

Hyunjin looks up from his notepad and raises an eyebrow at you. You sputter over your impulsive words and try to explain. “It’s just that I have trouble being vulnerable with others, both physically and emotionally. There was only Jisung. And he wasn’t that good at it, to be honest. But I thought it shouldn’t stop me from finding out by myself what I like. That’s all.”

For a second, you think Hyunjin will make fun of you, but he just solemnly nods. “Absolutely. I always tell my clients this. There’s nothing wrong with masturbating. It’s incredibly healthy, whether or not you’re in a relationship.”

You exhale shakily, your cheeks aflame. You know it’s his literal job, but you can’t help but feel both admiration and jealousy at how straightforward Hyunjin is while talking about sex. His whole aura seeps with confidence, like it comes easily to him. Your self-consciousness could never. “Right.”

He sighs in thought, scribbling into your notepad as you restlessly wait for him to say something, fidgeting in your seat. Hyunjin then sets his notepad aside, logging into his sleek Apple iMac computer and rapidly typing into it. “I have something for you to do, darling.”

You immediately tense at the thought of more work, especially if Hyunjin is going to be your grader. “Like, homework?”

Hyunjin laughs. “No. Think of it as a fun little task. Remember, nothing I ask you to do is obligatory. You choose to be here.”

“Alright, let’s hear it.” You square your shoulders like a soldier. Whatever your assignment is, you’re going to knock it out of the park and impress Hyunjin. Definitely because you look up to him as a person, not because you want him to rail you into the next century.

Hyunjin leans forward, like he’s about to indulge you with a delicious secret, and you find yourself doing the same. “I want you to write down on paper one thing you love about yourself every day of the week, starting today. Bring the sheet to me when we meet again next week.”

You sit back, your heart sinking while your mind wakes in panic. And of all things, the assignment has to be this. You could fib your way through it, of course, jotting down the stupid, trivial aspects of yourself that aren’t so bad. But considering it all, asking yourself that question would really make you face the ugly truth: do you even love yourself?

“Wait, what do you mean? Like, what does it have to be? Physical? Emotional? Professional? Personal? I don’t think—”

Hyunjin smoothly cuts you off. “Like I said, this is your choice to complete. And it can be anything you cherish about yourself. Anything. This is your opportunity to show-off.”

You shake your head, frustrated. “But why, though? I don’t get the point of this.”

“I need to be able to get an idea of what specific path will best fit you, whether it’s solo therapy to help your mindset and esteem, matchmaking to get you connected with individuals who complement you, or coaching to provide you with guidance in potential relationships. So for now, I want to get to know you. ”

“If you wanted to get to know me, you’d ask questions like, ‘what do you do,’ or ‘what’s your favorite color,’ Hyunjin,” you say, irked. “This is just going to be another thing I fail at.”

“Darling,” Hyunjin says, firmly but gently. “Your profession and favorite color, while intriguing, isn’t knowledge I need to work with you. The most important service of all is helping my clients’ self-perception and confidence in romance, and I need to know what level you are on. Take it slow, it’s okay. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

The familiar warmth spreads throughout your body. Compassion, gentleness, understanding. You harbor so much insecurity that it affects so much of your daily life. You don’t go out. You work yourself down and out. You wallow in your misery. You’re a pessimist who doesn’t believe in true love. And you receive endless judgment for it, because really, who wouldn’t be disgusted by someone like you? But being with Hyunjin feels different, because he is accepting you for who you are and promising you the guidance you’ve always needed.

“We can assess what aforementioned action to take next week, when I’ve had time to assess you,” Hyunjin declares as you agree, ripping out a piece of paper from his notebook and writing down the task on it for you to take home.

And then you’re pulled back into reality. You’re well-educated and smart. You have a good job that pays well. You like to read Scientific American in your freetime, because sometimes, you would rather face the facts than meld into opinions. And you know exactly what’s happening right now. It’s barely been your first session with Hyunjin, and you’re already getting attached to him, because he’s giving you the kind of care and attention that you’ve been craving. It’s a phenomenon called transference, you know that. The butterfly garden flitting in your stomach is a mere sensory illusion, you know that. But you also know that you are feeling something.

As Hyunjin hands you the slip of paper, his hands brush yours lightly, and you can’t help but exhale sharply at where his skin has made contact with yours. Maybe you’re touch-starved, but you can’t help but feel like a longing character in a Victorian romance novel. You look down at his hands as he retracts them. Large, smooth palms, and long fingers decked in silver rings.

“But that will be all for now, darling.”

God, he’s sexy.

“Really? Is that all?” You glance at the rose gold clock hanging on the wall behind you. It’s barely been thirty minutes. “We’re done so soon?”

Hyunjin grins at you, flashing those crescent moons once again. “I didn’t know you were that eager to stay here.”

You clear your throat, furiously blushing. “I mean, I thought the session would last longer. So I’ll come back next week then.”

“This was a diagnostic, darling. And yes, I’ll see you next week. You should make an appointment with Wonyoung before you leave.”

Hyunjin beams at you pleasantly while you reluctantly grab your purse, and you briefly wonder if he looks just as lovely when his partner pleasures him— if he has a partner. But then again, there is no way someone as good-looking and sweet as him is single. The thought of Hyunjin fucking someone simultaneously sparks envy and turns you on, and you quickly shake it away.

“Thank you so much, Hyunjin. And um, I’m sorry if I came off as kind of coarse, it’s… I’m working on it.” You tilt your head towards him, hoping he gets what you’re trying to convey. You’re not amazing with words, or controlling your emotions very well, and any product of that today was not meant to hurt him.

“You did nothing wrong. I’m glad you decided to come here, Y/N.” Hyunjin walks you across his expansive office.

“And I love your nails, by the way.” Hyunjin states, his gaze pointed down at your hands. “Pink’s my favorite color.”

You flush a pink that’s deeper than the object of his compliments. Pink, huh? You wonder about what other pink things that Hyunjn may like. Pink roses? Raspberries? Flamingoes? You’d bring them all to him if he asked.

Hyunjin graciously opens the door leading to the corridor for you, and you shoot him a small smile, as he returns it. His hand skims the small of your back as he leads you out, and you pray that you don’t look like a lustful maniac. Unaware of your internal frenzy, Hyunjin waves goodbye to you as he lets in his next client waiting outside and shuts the door behind him.

Wonyoung asks you a plethora of questions about your availability next week, your mind stays on Hyunjin while you schedule your next appointment. You don’t waver even when you exit the SeoulSpark and unlock your car in the visitor parking lot, collapsing into the seat in a daze. Even when you find yourself plugging in directions on Google Maps to find the quickest route to 5-Star Grocery, your thoughts don’t stay from Hyunjin. Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin.

You take your time strolling through the multicolored aisles of 5-Star, blankly gazing at all of the overpriced foodstuffs while daydreaming about the way that Hyunjin’s hand had accidentally brushed against you, even if it was inadvertent. You want his fingers on your body. In your body. In your mouth. Anywhere, and everywhere.

You brighten up as you near the produce section and spy the hefty crate of what you came for: very expensive imported Indian mangoes. But without a second thought, you place a generous pile of the fresh fruit into a plastic cover and put it into your cart. And you swear you can catch the lingering scent of Hyunjin from when he was here earlier today. Rainstorms. Jasmine. Danger. You practically combust at the thought of Hyunjin scouring the baskets of mangoes for the very best picks with those crescent moon eyes, wishing it was you instead that he could have been gazing so purposefully at. On the way out, like some kind of a divine coincidence, you notice that a local florist has set up their stand at the entrance of the grocery. As you approach, the overflowing clay pots of jasmine crowd your sensations.

The drive back home feels like it lasts hours, when in reality, the store is only a few minutes away from your place. As soon as you’re inside your apartment, you throw open all of the window shutters, dismissing the ominous weather forecast on the radio. A much bigger tempest brews somewhere else. The late evening breeze through your windows is like a pirate sailing into your mind, hoarding your sanity and coaxing in all of your disgraceful thoughts. And you welcome the ship like a safe harbor because it’s been far too long since you’ve ever felt this outrageously alive.

The tiny light in your kitchen provides some leeway for you to work, as you stow away your groceries in the fridge and bring out the glass cutting board that your menace of coworker gave you as a gag gift; you would burn the whole house down before cooking anything, and he knows that. Yet, you kind of feel like goddamn Gordon Ramsay as you cut through the mango dexterously to produce those perfect cubes that Hyunjin presented you with.

With a sigh, you collapse into one of the mismatched chairs at your dining table. You once slaved away into late nights at this table, blue light glasses perched on your nose while you were engrossed in lines of code. Nowadays, you sleep late for less productive reasons or just because you are in a destructive mood and planning your future world takeover. But you have a feeling that might change soon.

Slowly, you put a piece of the sweet mango in your mouth, savoring the saccharinity and longing for it to pervade all aspects of your life beyond your palate. You find that it tastes a little less delectable because Hyunjin isn’t here with you, but you finish the entire bowl of fruit nevertheless. Still not satisfied, however, you bring out a second mango, still searching for that spark you had felt earlier.

This time, you don’t even bother cutting the fruit, instead breaking the skin of the mango with your teeth and allowing the juice to leak onto your tongue. A little better, but you wish you were biting down on Hyunjin’s plush lips instead. You feel like you’ve been hexed by the Love Doctor, because there’s no chance that a romantic Scrooge like you is fantasizing about the emotional and physical reincarnation of Aphrodite.

Yet, he must have shot you with his quiver of arrows, rendering you clinically insane, because as you reach for your third mango, you feel your free hand trailing down to the place between your thighs that’s begging for your touch. You spread your legs so that your knees are facing out on either side of you, and your dress has now ridden up to your hips, exposing your now wet cotton panties for no one to see.

But you imagine that he’s watching, stroking himself and getting off along with you. Not even bothering to slide them off, you push your panties to the side and finally press your fingers against your aching cunt. Chewing on the delicate skin of mango, you slide your fingers through your drenched folds, thankful to finally get a chance to relieve yourself. As you concentrate on the fruit’s taste, you wonder what Hyunjin would think of your own, sucking on his own fingers after fucking you with his pretty hands. He’d push you down to get a complete taste, attaching his mouth to your pussy to get both an idea and a release.

Moaning out loud, you circle your clit, enjoying the flickers of pleasure coursing through you. Not minding the juice now dripping down your chin and onto your collarbone, you pull down the front of your dress, freeing your breasts. You gently pinch your nipple with your left hand and let out a small gasp, craving for Hyunjin to be the one inducing such sinful pain into you.

“Just like that, darling.”

“Oh God, Hyunjin!” You call out his name and squeeze your breast, now fucking yourself on your fingers while simultaneously grinding the heel of your palm against your clit for that delicious extra friction.

“So good for me.”

Waves of ecstasy wash over you as you ride out your high, sloppily thrusting and circling your hips on your soaked hand. You come to the final thought of Hyunjin pushing a slice of mango down the valley between your breasts, tracing and cleaning the sticky juice with his tongue. And there’s the spark, igniting a whole flame of fulfillment deep inside of you.

Letting out a shaky sigh, you fix your dress and get up from your chair, taking out a paper towel to wipe the mess of your arousal and fruit juice on the seat. Your cheeks burn with the after effects of your release, and yet, you don’t feel any shame. Instead, there’s a strange sense of liberation that you are starting to come to terms with.

Clipping up your hair, you make your way over to the desk in your bedroom and take out a fresh sheet of paper. Armed with a glass of freshly puréed mango juice and accompanied by the tantalizing scent of your jasmine plant, you pull out a pink gel pen and let the words pour out.

“So, Y/N. Were you able to do what I asked?” Hyunjin cocks his head expectantly.

You reach into your handbag and pull out the paper, passing it to Hyunjin with trembling hands. “I did it.”

You came to SeoulSpark straight from work, deliberately skipping your usual jeans and blazer combination for a skinny pencil skirt paired with a powder-pink button down that matches the walls of Hyunjin’s office. Slightly transparent silk stockings disappear under the skirt, which skims the top of your knees.

When you were pulling on your barely-worn cream slingback pumps in the morning, you had wondered what this entire outfit was for. You had stood up and gazed critically into the mirror, and all you could feel was empowerment. Because for the first time, it felt like something you were truly doing for yourself. You weren’t proving a point. And you knew you weren’t dressing for Hyunjin either, but rather, because of him. He made you question if you were treating yourself right, and you wanted to answer it well. The pink blouse was a playful touch that you couldn’t help.

Hyunjin takes his time reading through the paper, and this time, you’re the one observing his every reaction, from the quirk of his brow to the way he occasionally licks his lips to wet them. The latter action sparks a memory of one week ago, when you indulged yourself in absurdly fantasizing about those very lips all over you. You press your legs together, ignoring the dull throb in between, and try not to think of it, focusing on the unsexiest things your mind can come up with. Climate change. Warts. Donald Trump.

“This is a good list to start with.” Hyunjin looks up at you, eyes twinkling. “All true, right?”

You nod, feeling a shy smile erupt on your face. “Yeah, I was kind of surprised with how doable-ish it was.”

“May I ask how? If I recall, you were quite opposed to this task last week.” Today, Hyunjin sits on the sofa with you instead of at his desk— too close, yet so far.

You finger the one of the buttons on your blouse, mind already on the truth. But of course, you would never tell Hyunjin how masturbating to the thought of him made you feel aligned with your own body and sexuality, and maybe a little more willing to dare to think of what you like about yourself. Now that would be inappropriate.

“I just did some thinking,” you finally say after much deliberation.

Hyunjin crosses one of his long legs over the other. “Interesting.”

“I guess.”

“If I ask you a question, will you answer it honestly?” Hyunjin lightly taps on his notepad with his pen, waiting for you to speak.

You give him a suspicious look. “Depends on the question.”

“Are you happy with yourself?”

His question confounds you, and yet, in a way, you also know why he asks it. A basic list of things that you like about yourself isn’t enough to turn over that table of insecurity and stagnant mindset that has hurt you for too long. It makes you understand that everything wrong in your life is because of an intrinsic cause, that ugly voice inside of you. Not because of something else… or someone.

“I don’t think I am.” You bite your lip. “But I want to be.”

“Can you tell me why?”

You groan. “It stems from how I feel so undesirable right now. Like, I don’t want to be lonely, but I am. I mean, I’m kind of a shooting star for everyone. A fleeting moment of love, of comfort. I really wish I could be the fucking sun.”

Hyunjin leans forward swiftly, grasping your hands and startling you with their warmth. “You’re not a shooting star. And you’re not just the sun either. You are the whole solar system, honey. Please don’t ever think otherwise.”

Damn. The solar system?

You hate when Irene calls you “honey,” but on Hyunjin’s tongue, it sounds loving, sweet, not like a patronizing ridicule.

“Thank you,” you whisper, trying to ignore the way your heart is hammering in your chest. “But you’ve known me for, like, two seconds.”

If you don’t know any better, you would say that Hyunjin almost looks taken aback. But his features smooth over quickly. “Darling, I’m a professional. You’re smart. You’re beautiful. You have a good heart. There is no reason why you can’t have everything you want.”

You try to focus on his words and take them in, but Hyunjin— simply the sexiest thing you have ever set eyes on— has deemed you beautiful. It’s both flattering and heart-fluttering, to say the very least. “Well, why don’t I? Why don’t I have everything I want, then?”

Hyunjin narrows his eyes. “You just haven’t met the right person for you.”

You inhale at the husky tone of his voice. “And you’re going to help me with that, Hyunjin?”

“Yes. You don’t need therapy, definitely. The first step I take with my clients is acceptance. That comes with therapy, but you were able to identify the problem and acknowledge it. I say we address it now.”

“What do you recommend we do, then?”

Hyunjin clears his throat and flips to a new page in his notepad. “I’ll be your dating coach.”

You quirk your eyebrow at him. “What does that entail?”

“We need to fortify your self-esteem, first of all. So, confidence coaching. You’ll be getting weekly sessions with me in which I provide you with tips and guidance, almost like interactive lectures. In due time… you can be set up in our matchmaking office, if you’d like.” Hyunjin scribbles into his trusty notepad. “You made a good start with the list. Let’s get better.”

And you do. The next few weeks are like a bandaid on your wounded heart and mentality. Hyunjin helps you through building up your confidence, never once pushing you to run, only walking by your side. You expect him to give you information on pickup lines, how to dress, appropriate forms of touch, the science of love, and anything else that may improve your dating prospects, but much of his coaching is simply focused on you. You get one-on-one seminars from Hyunjin on the art of conversation, in which he guides you through being yourself, instead of being who you think you need to be. Hyunjin structures elaborate role-playing scenarios and critical thinking exercises in which you are coaxed out of your shell. And most significant of all, he teaches you that the most important relationship you can have is the relationship with yourself.

You have always known that Hyunjin isn’t just any regular relationship therapist— or dating coach, or intimacy expert, or whatever other fancy moniker he adopts— but throughout your meetings, you come to feel like the boundaries have become blurred. Since the first time you saw him, he was able to read you like one of the glossy magazines stocked in the main lobby. But you slowly notice the fine details about him as well, from the neverending stack of classic poetry books on the white oak wall mount to how he bites his nails when he’s deep in thought.

The fascination you harbor morphs into a full-blown schoolgirl infatuation, resulting in you stalking his Instagram page and being totally invested in all of his old interviews, scouring for information on his dating status (no, you couldn’t find out if he is single or not). You’re completely enamored with Hyunjin and how free you feel around him. But one thing that doesn’t change is your burning desire for your unattainable guide, and the way you have to relieve yourself with your vibrator as soon as you rush home after your appointments.

You are sure that every single time you see Hyunjin, you’re being embarrassingly obvious, but he maintains his professionality, betraying nothing about himself except for a disarming smile. So you stay quiet, keeping your Hyunjin-affliction to yourself. But even in the face of your inappropriate struggle, for the first time, happiness doesn’t seem so foreign to you.

In spite of the honeymoon phase of your crush, in which you have blissfully daydreamed about Hyunjin, you still have your job to get to— gone is the racy maroon lingerie set you bought to spice up your solo sessions. However, your boring work suits and blazer-and-jeans combinations have been pushed to the back of your closet, in favor of you walking into the office wearing tight sheath dresses and skirts that show off your curves. You always believed that getting dolled up was strictly for special occasions or your man— when you thought you had one— but lately, you’ve been loving dressing up for yourself and enjoying the feeling of being sexy and liberated.

“Y/N! Get your ass over here!”

Your carefully curated mind bubble is rudely burst open when your boss yells for you from his office, not minding if the peace of the rest of the workers is preserved or not. You tie your hair up and dust off your skirt, making your way over to your boss’s office for what feels like the millionth berating you know you will receive.

“Yes?”

Mark Lee— your boss, who in your opinion, makes Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada look like a saint— turns around in his cushy Arhaus swivel chair, raising his eyebrows at your harried stats. Most people know him as the eccentric but lovable CEO of NCT Corporation, one of the world’s most prolific venture capital firms. However, you know him to be a truly two-faced monster that takes a sadistic pleasure in seeing the people beneath him crushed.

“Is something wrong? Because there shouldn’t be.”

You force a smile. “You called me here, Mark.”

He lets out a mirthless guffaw, slapping his thigh. “Right.”

You roll your eyes as he shuffles through the papers on his desk and produces a small Manila envelope for you. Mark holds it out to you, and you take the packet.

“What’s this?”

“Open it.”

Curious, you tear open the envelope and pull out a thick piece of stationary paper, an invitation to a networking event for tech entrepreneurs. Your pulse immediately begins to pick up, and you even dare to begin to dream of attending this golden opportunity. “Is this for me?”

“Kind of.” Mark clasps his hands together. “You’re planning this party!”

Your hesitant smile melts away. “What? I’m not your assistant, Mark. You already have one.”

“I know…” Mark trails off, popping a gummy bear into his mouth as he starts to spin around in his chair. “But no one is more passionate than you here, so you should do it.”

“But I’m busy with my actual job. I should be going to this party, not planning it! You know that.” You feel the frustration rise up in your chest like a tsunami, and you struggle to keep it at bay. “Come on, Mark. What the hell?”

Mark narrows his eyes at you, chewing on his fifth gummy. “No profanity, please.”

You nearly ball up the invitation and throw it onto Mark’s face. “You literally just screamed at me to get my ass in here.”

“I know, I’m hilarious.” Mark snickers, crumpling up his gummy bear packet and attempting to shoot it into the wastebasket on the other side of the room. When he misses, his expression sours and he glares at you. “You should really check out the instructions I sent you and get to work. Even some SM Tech officers will be in attendance. For example, the director of the Dream division.”

Your heart drops. “What?”

Mark smirks malevolently, leaning closer towards you. “You know him, right? Jake, was his name? Or was it Jisung?”

You grind down on your teeth, fuming. Mark is just trying to rile you up, and it’s really working. He knows perfectly well that Jisung is your ex-boyfriend, as both Jisung and him are golf buddies at their exclusive course in Pasadena. However, he loves to play dumb to get a reaction out of you, and you refuse to give him the satisfaction.

You swallow back all of the disgusting insults you wish you could hurl at him, if you were braver and not hanging on to your job by a thread. “Don’t recall. I’ll take care of the party.”

You turn on your heel and march out of Mark’s office, purposefully slamming the door hard on the way out. You hear Mark’s cackling behind you, but you don’t dare to look back, because you don’t know what you’ll do. You slide into your cubicle once more, and have to resist the urge to turn over your whole desk like Wreck-It Ralph.

Years ago, in your final year of college, you founded ITEM Technologies with one of your classmates for your senior project. You hadn’t expected your professor to be so impressed that she submitted your portfolio to California’s biggest entrepreneurship competition, and you definitely didn’t expect for it to win first place, which meant you got access to a whole network of potential investors for your start-up. You had already accepted a job offer to be a software developer at NCT, but the thought of becoming your own boss through ITEM pulled at you like anything. Securing funding for ITEM through SM Technologies would be the final key in the system of locks keeping you from your dream, and the exclusive invitation to CODA— Silicon Valley’s biggest annual networking lunch for start-ups— was the ticket.

However, the day before the event, Jisung had broken up with you, and you had forgotten all about CODA, instead sleeping in after a whole night of crying. Later, after you woke up and realized what you had done, you found out that SM’s latest investment would be in Dream, a growing media company headed by none other than your new ex, Jisung. In twenty-four hours, he had both killed your dreams and your heart. And in due time, without proper funding, ITEM Tech would eventually fail, like many other promising but ill-fated start-ups.

And now? Jisung is living it up in your dream job while you’re groveling in the footsteps of your nightmarish excuse of a boss. Just touching a keyboard once filled you with so much joy, but now, you would rather smash it into bits before pressing a single key. Now you have to map out some stupid party for other start-ups. You’re a developer, not an event planner. You glare up at the ceiling, as if asking a higher power for an explanation for your crappy life. A moment later, your computer pings with a new email.

Like he’s a telepathic deity, Hyunjin has sent you a GIF of a baby llama waddling around a small pen, with text below that reads, “keep calm and llama on.” In spite of yourself, you laugh to yourself, and without thinking, you type in a response thanking him and ending in a winking emoji. Right after you send it, you fill up with regret. Was that inappropriate? The emoji? Too much? With an exasperated sigh, you stand up from your desk, shutting down your computer and heading over to the elevator, punching in buttons for the next floor. However, as soon as you open the door to the office of the one person who could probably talk some sense into you right now, you regret it. Afterall, he’s your part-time friend and full-time menace of a coworker.

“Fuck… don’t tease me like that when I’m not there,” Minho groans, before sighing wistfully into his phone. “I’ll be home soon.”

You silently gag, mentally slapping the shit out of yourself for walking in on a phone sex session, of all things. Minho hadn’t answered when you knocked on his door, so you had just assumed that he needed to be woken up from one of his notorious naps.

“I love you too. I’ll see you in a little bit.” Minho ends the call and turns around in his seat, happily humming to himself with a lovestruck expression on his face. He nearly falls out of his chair when he sees you hovering over him with a smirk on your face. “Jesus!”

“Seriously? Here? Now?”

“Shut the fuck up. I wasn’t doing anything.”

“Suuure.”

Minho rolls his eyes at your silly expression, unamused and crossing his arms. “Can I help you, Y/N?”

You rub one of your nails, thinking of how Hyunjin once complimented them. “You’re like my only friend.”

“I know.” He watches you collapse into one of the chairs in front of him. “But what happened to those Golden Bitches?”

“Golden Trio,” you correct, although Minho doesn’t miss the hint of a grin on your face at his intentional mistake. “And I’m done with them. Finally.”

You put your head down on Minho’s desk as he reaches into one of his desk drawers, pulling out a pack of Twizzlers and tossing them to you. “Talk.”

“It’s, um, kind of bad, though.”

“I’m listening.”

Everything comes spilling out of your mouth: brunch at The Terrace, your new unpaid party-planning gig, and of course… Hyunjin. Your explanation is much more censored than the real thing, of course, because there’s no way you’re going to talk about your whole mango expedition with a married man. That is a whole new level of breaking boundaries, and you’ve crossed enough to know.

“Well… that’s basically it.” You swallow nervously, and suddenly, your throat feels very dry. “Mark sucks, and I’m thirsting after my therapist slash dating coach.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” Minho says gently, a color that you weren’t even sure existed for him in public. His teasing persona always overtakes the tender one exclusively reserved for his other half. “The whole Hyunjin thing is probably just temporary. You’re still adjusting to considering romance as a possibility again.”

“Okay.”

“The right person will come along. It’s long, and it’s hard, but that journey will be worth it.”

“Says you. You and your wife are literally perfect. I mean, college sweethearts? If your life was a music soundtrack, it would be one of those cheesy love playlists that annoying couples make together.”

Minho just chuckles. “We had our ups and downs. But yeah, we kind of are perfect. She is perfect.”

He softly smiles to himself, gazing at the beautiful portrait of his wife that’s framed on his desk. He’s in his own world now, and you pat his shoulder. “Thanks for the help, Minho. You should go home.”

As you exit the NCT headquarters, you can’t help but feel your heart squeeze even tighter in your chest. Witnessing such a wholesome moment should have given you hope, a glimpse of a future you could have. Instead, it reminded you of what you can’t have right now— who you can’t have.

You appreciate Minho’s efforts to make you feel better, but he just doesn’t know the full truth. Because your chat with him pushed up something very unpleasant that you’ve been avoiding for a while now. Your pink-loving, classic novel-reading, luxury-shopaholic dating coach is more than just the object of your explicit fantasies, all unbeknownst to him. You’ve started to love the person you become when you’re around him. You love how much more confident and happier you’ve become because of him. Hell, you have genuine feelings for him.

You are so fucked.

Spanning his entire career as a relationship therapist (and all of the other job titles; for God��s sake, he’s the Love Doctor), Hyunjin can’t really come up with any thorns in the rosebush. Sure, there have been a few snags, like that time his clients literally brought divorce papers to one of their meetings (he managed to convince them to take a romantic vacation to Bora Bora and bond more as a couple; it worked). Or when another client confessed to committing adultery with the family’s nanny halfway through a session (after persuading the wife not to murder her husband in the middle of his office, Hyunjin set them up with recovery counseling; that also worked). Life was predictable, but enjoyable. Just the way he likes it.

Every single day used to begin the exact same way. He woke up at exactly five-thirty, before doing his favorite low-impact yoga routine in his home gym. Hyunjin liked being up early enough to watch the sun rise from the balcony of his West Hollywood penthouse, while drinking a cup of loose leaf Darjeeling tea, of course. His post Sun Salutation breakfast consisted of two slices of whole wheat bread topped with two organic scrambled eggs and extra virgin olive oil. He’d shower and spend a while wandering his walk-in closet, deciding what killer outfit to wear for work, his third favorite place after South Korea and the Taj Mahal. And then he drove to SeoulSpark in Cami, his beloved baby pink Cadillac that he splurged on after getting on Forbes 30 Under 30.

Every single day used to end the exact same way. He’d leave work by six, after finishing up the last of his meetings. He’d browse on his MacBook for a nice recipe before cooking his dinner while jamming to Mariah on his Spotify Premium, and change the station to classical while eating. He took another shower, but taking more time to do his special avocado hair mask and full skin-care routine. Then Hyunjin liked to cozy up in his Versace bathrobe while catching up with the latest episode of Love Island and cuddling with his paw-dorable shih tzu, Princess Diana. Oh, and, he couldn’t unwind without kicking his feet back and downing a glass of pink champagne. And then he went to bed by eleven.

That was all before you, of course.

The day he met you, he was reminded of the sun. Yes, the way you roughly turned your chin to the side or rained down on him with your sharp words was more evocative of a thunderstorm. But then there was that dress, a pale yellow fluttering above your knees, and how your wide eyes had so expressively taken in your surroundings when you stepped into his office. The slightly awkward way you greeted him, when you harshly avoided his gaze when you were embarrassed. And the way you looked at him, your pretty lips pulled into a stubborn pout, but really, he could see the soft curiosity in your gaze. You were so mad at the world around you, all he wanted to do was take you onto his magic carpet and show you a new one.

He also really, really wanted to just rip that dress off your body and fuck you senseless. And when you started to eat that mango? He had to scramble to think of a list of unsexy things to avoid a boner right then and there. Chipped nails. Gonorrhea. Andrew Tate.

The following weeks weren’t any better, either. He felt like an inexperienced, horny teenager once again, lusting after the tiniest flash of skin. In your last meeting, Hyunjin had fixated on the tiny rip on your stocking that barely exposed the soft skin of your thigh. You hadn’t even noticed, but God, he was trying not to go crazy in his seat.

Usually, other people are the ones who are seduced by Hyunjin’s charming nature, but ever since you, the once calm, elegant, and poised Hyunjin has been prone to being seduced by irrelevant wardrobe malfunctions. And the absolutely inappropriate thoughts of you that have now flooded his brain are constantly floating around, disturbing him. Yesterday, he slept-in, so he had to skip his morning yoga and was nearly late to work. Later, he fell asleep while fisting himself under the covers, forgetting to turn on his mood lighting and 528 Hz nighttime music. And today was an even bigger disaster, because he’d zoned out during his marketing meeting, thinking of bending you over his desk instead of advertising SeoulSpark. Ever since you, none of his days have been the same. Tonight is no exception.

Hyunjin turns the steel knob, cranking up the heat for no reason at all. Maybe he needs to feel the burn of the scalding water on his skin, shocking him back into reality, or perhaps, he needs to hide from his sanity in the steam, too ashamed to look out and into the bathroom mirror.

The water pours down Hyunjin’s back as he steps under the steady stream, dousing himself and trying to forget about you. But it’s to no avail, because he feels his hand already moving down, roving over his Pilates-strengthened abs and slipping down to the one place that’s pleading for his attention.

Hyunjin tilts his head back in the bliss of succumbing to temptation, slightly leaning his cheek against his shoulder as he strokes his hardened length slowly. He sucks in a sharp breath as he squeezes himself, deftly curving his wrist for a more impactful angle. Hyunjin is no stranger to a good lover, but right now he’s resorting to touching himself with the familiarity that only he is entitled to. Although, he would love to teach you about more than just confidence, giving you lessons on how to pleasure him, watching you work like the sexy aficionado that he believes you to be.

In his mind, he isn’t in the privacy of his bathroom, jerking himself off. No, he’s in his office, lying down on his luxe handwoven rug with you on top of him. You’re completely exposed except for the place where your yellow frock is scrunched around your waist, because you were so eager to have each other that Hyunjin hadn’t even bothered with completely undressing you.

Hyunjin tightens his fingers around his cock and speeds up, pumping himself aggressively. He bites down on his lip and screws his eyes shut, as low, breathy moans escape him. He’s leaking already, flushed and throbbing under his palm. Hyunjin pushes a hand against the shower wall for support and whimpers at the thought of you riding him while slurping on that goddamn mango. He’s so delusional for you that you hadn’t even bothered with getting a knife to cut into the mango, instead holding it in your hand and biting into it while bouncing on his cock.

Hyunjin lets out a groan as he strokes himself even faster, and he feels his orgasm rapidly approaching but refrains from releasing. He doesn’t deserve to come, not yet. He imagines your legs spread and your tight walls around him, instead of his own fist. Your cheeks are a deep red now, as Hyunjin pounds up into you, claiming you and making you his own. The juice from the mango is dripping all over your gorgeous breasts, trailing down even further and mixing with your own arousal. Hyunjin wonders about how you would taste. Were you as sweet as that mango you had eaten so damn seductively in front of him? No. You probably tasted even better.

His soft moans have turned into harsh pants as Hyunjin’s hands begin to lose rhythm, unsteadily working his length. Hyunjin listens to your pretty sighs as you look down at him, pleasure and amusement contorting your features.

“You want me so bad, don’t you?”

“I do!” Hyunjin chokes out as a cry as the pressure rises in his core. He’s so, so close, the pearls of sweat rolling down his neck and becoming one with the water.

“Hyunjin…”

Hyunjin’s name slips out of your mouth as easily as he flips you over onto your back, fucking harshly into you. He anchors his hand to your waist, gripping tightly, as you gaze up at him through your half-lidded eyes. Your bare chests are pressed together in a sticky haze of both your sweat and the juice of the mango you have now abandoned for something more satiating. Spurred on by the fucked-out smile on your face, he brings his free hand to your lips and you obediently suck on his fingers, wishing it was his cock instead. But you’re still in control, directing him with your eyes and whispering sweet praises to him. And then you’re clenching around him, your body shuddering underneath Hyunjin’s as you reach the peak of your ecstasy.

“I need you to come for me, Hyunjin.”

Your final command makes Hyunjin convulse and tense, his back arching as he finally chases after his release. Hyunjin thrusts into his hand, overcome by the thought of you judging him while he comes. Hyunjin’s knees go weak as he strokes himself through his orgasm, violently spasming against the Carrara marble walls of his shower. His release shoots out in hot spurts, painting his trembling thighs and the walls a thick white.

Breathless, Hyunjin opens his eyes and washes off his shame, but there’s only so much that water and coconut body wash can do. The moment he prepares to step out of his steaming shower, Hyunjin feels anything but cleansed— his situation is quite the opposite. The unholy thoughts that he had touched himself to had done anything but subside, struggling behind the dam in his mind that contains his last shreds of dignity. As he opens the door leading to his bedroom, the shock of cold air conditioning against his damp skin is a harsh reminder of reality.

Hyunjin’s relationship with you is strictly limited to his office, the place where he did not get to fuck you in. Any discourse with sexual content is limited to your personal romantic endeavors that he has no role in whatsoever. You have zero idea about his filthy fantasies involving you, and see him merely as the person who would help you find happiness with someone else. Not him. He’s your therapist, and in clinical terms, you could be his patient.

The mirage of you standing in front of him disagrees, however.

“You’re technically not my therapist— more like my counselor.”

Hyunjin watches with wide eyes as you bound over to him. Smirking, you playfully toy with the edge of the towel wrapped around his waist.

“But I am feeling kind of sick, though, Dr. Hwang. I’m all hot and aching, just for you.”

“Go away! You can’t be here.” Hyunjin shakes his head, quickly walking over to his closet and getting into his silk batik pajamas. “I’m going crazy…”

Princess Diana nips at Hyunjin’s ankles, prodding him to go back to his normal self and snuggle with her while they watch reality TV.

“I just can’t right now, Diana,” Hyunjin exclaims exasperatedly. She gets the hint and slinks away, leaving Hyunjin alone in his bedroom.

He hadn’t even bothered with turning on the lights, the glimmering Los Angeles skyline past his expansive windows casting a pale glow in his room. If mindreading was a real thing, Hyunjin would be done for, because the thoughts that had transpired today would ruin him, shrivel up his reputation and business. If this went beyond the confines of his home, continuing to force itself into his daily life, he could lose everything. His job, his name, his purpose. Nevertheless, Hyunjin feels his hand sliding down once more, like a sinful memory of the past. It’s going to be another long night, and what happens tomorrow is variable. But Hyunjin knows one thing to be true.

He is so fucked.

«NEXT CHAPTER» · «GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME»

AUTHOR'S NOTE

That was the longest thing I've ever written for one piece. AND IT'S ONLY CHAPTER 1 LMFAO. Anyway, hope you liked it, loves! I'll be hiding under my blankets tonight and screaming about my first published smut scene EVER. Please leave your thoughts, I don’t mind if you leave a whole essay ;) -Dreamy

TAGLIST

@skzfelixlove @army-stay-noel, @hwangjuhong, @chizumiyoshi @hyunjinswifeee @geneziesm @sherryblossom @yeetfellx @bennetbutton @chillseo @hyuneyeon @seosalad @nhyunn @hyunjinnie2000 @ajxreads @n2tl4na @yeahsspider @8makes1scream ***The users that I could not tag are written in pink***

If you'd like to join the taglist, click here!

📢 ©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

438 notes · View notes

i0veless · 2 years ago

Text

GUITAR STRING HEART 2 :: KYLIAN MBAPPE

𖥻 SUMMARY ー [ sometimes they're an unexpected chapter in the story ] 𖥻 PAIRING ー [ kylian mbappe x fem! guitarist/singer! reade ] 𖥻 GENRE ー [ social media au, band au, ex's to ???, angst, fluff ] 𖥻 WORD COUNT ー [ 3.9k ] 𖥻 WARNINGS ー [ mentions of arguements and ghosting people, drinking, jealousy, and suggestive content - let me know if I missed anything ] 𖥻 AUTHORS NOTE ー [ HAPPY NEW YEAR, part 2. Let's go. Sorry, this is late, also not really happy with the way this turned at - but we move. I just want to thank you so much for all the love you have given part one while I'm writing this. It has 300+ notes, and it's only been out for a couple of days. words can't describe how much this means to me. also, part 3 will be the final part to this series - also if you see any mistakes ignore them please as they will be corrected later ]

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Walking off the pitch drenched in sweat and boiling with rage - Mbappe was anything but happy. His team had drawn, which would have been perfectly fine under normal circumstances. But not when he faced Halland. He had too much to prove to tie. he needed to win, but he didn't. Kylian would give anything at this moment to wipe the smug smirk off the Norwegian player's face. But his teammates had made a human blockade around him to ensure he didn't get into a physical altercation with the opposition's striker.

The PSG Team filled into their locker room, hot and rowdy, as they talked and laughed about the match. But not Mbappe, he was silent, and it was unnerving. The moment the man entered the room, he walked straight to his cubbie and pulled out his phone. He sat staring at his luminescent screen, fixated on the comments on all social media platforms commenting on who was better, Mbappe or Halland.

It was him - it had to be. There was nothing Halland could do that he couldn't do better. He was the next greatest, not some Norwegian nobody. Maybe in another life, the two could have been friends, heck they could have been friends in this life. If not for the constant parallels drawn between the two (which got very annoying), the other player constantly bashing him in the press, and the fact that his celebrity crush was non-other than Y/N L/N. A simple video of him confessing his admiration for the musician is ingrained in his mind as to why he hates the blond twit so much. He already wanted to steal his legacy, his spotlight and now the girl of his dreams.

There was no way in hell that he would let that happen. As Kylian's rabbit hole of thought spiralled further and further into the abyss, he stopped momentarily after feeling a firm hand on his shoulder. Hakimi noticed his friend's abnormally quiet demeanour and instantly understood what was happening. "You know you should stop looking for approval from people online," the Moroccan player said as he took a seat beside him. Letting out a heavy sigh in reply, the forward put his phone down and looked at the defender.

"you still thinking about her" Achraf was one of the only people, besides Neymar and Messi, who knew about Mbappe's relationship with the guitarist. So they were sad to hear that the two had broken up as they had never seen the player happier than when he was with Y/N. They understood why they had broken up, but it was clear that Kylian still had feelings for her, whether he liked to admit it or not, so the trio had a silent agreement that if a chance ever presented itself, they would play cupid.

"Do you know" the defender's question made Mbappe look up, confused about what he was asking. Choosing to show him rather than speak, Hakimi handed him his phone, showing a gossip page headline - Y/N was here. She was here, "Heads up, guys, incoming", Neymar yelled as all the players rushed to look more presentable. Most of the PSG team were Bloody Valentine fans, and the manager told them that if they won or drew, they would get to meet them. Their coaches told them this during the previous day's training. Too bad Kylian took that day off.

All eyes were on the door as it creaked open, with three figures entering shyly behind security. But one person was missing, and the security team quickly left the room, leaving the stars to mingle. As the players greeted the musicians, they invited them to take a seat. "Can I just say yall were fucking incredible, like oh my god fucking respect" Onyx started making the players laugh and thank him for the words of affirmation. "Thank you so much, man, that means a lot to us - glad we made it worth your time," Messi said, smiling at the trio with questioning eyes wondering where the 4th and most anticipated person was.

Noticing the curious glance from the footballer, Axel pulled out his phone and dialled Y/N's number, putting it on speaker. The phone rang twice before connecting - "Axe, I'm lost." everyone burst out laughing "where are you?" Sabrina asked through her laughter. "I have no fucking clue Bri." the confused guitarist said, the sounds of her footsteps protruding through the speaker. "Try and find a sign that can tell you where you are", Neymar suggested as the whole of PSG where now on board with project find Y/N.

All except for Kylian, who was still in a daze as he heard her voice. Mbappe reminisced. Her voice was still sweet like honey to his ears and gentle on his broken heart, reminding him of the remarkable woman he had lost- oh, how he wished he could take it all back. He needed her back. He realised that a long time ago, but boy, was that feeling stronger than ever. And vowed there and then that he would do everything in his power to ensure that Y/N ended up back in his arms, even if it killed him in the process.

The rest tried to help the girl find her way back. "Hate to break it to you, but I can't read french." the room was silent; this was a problem. "Babe, you took french for four years…" the bassist said with her face in her hands at her best friend's situation. "Just because I took it doesn't mean I was any good at it."

"Wait, is Johnny there?" the panic in the singer's voice made the situation ten times more amusing, "No, not yet, anyway. But seriously, where are you" Onyx said, now getting worried, "I'm working on it." she said, followed by more footsteps before the phone disconnected. Oh boy.

yourinstagram . 20min ago

seen by k.mbappe achrafhakimi and 1,444,432 others

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yourinstagram pov : your lost in parc des princes

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sab.rina where the fuck are you ⤷ yourinstagram bro I have no fucking idea

onyxisastone sexy mf ⤷ yourinstagram my boy

axeman johnny just called hurry up you dumb shit ⤷ yourinstagram on my way 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ ⤷ axeman why were you filming tiktok's then ⤷ yourinstagram 🫢🫢🫢

psg don't worry help is on it's way ⤷ user in psg we trust 🫡🫡 ⤷ yourinstagram 🫡🫡

user bestie what is going on?!?! ⤷ yourinstagram idk bro help me

user kylian and Y/N confirmed? ⤷ user shut up ⤷ user why it's just a question

user okay I know that everyones focusing on the fact that she's at parc des princes but can we take a moment to appreciate these photos ⤷ user facts

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yourinstagram . 10min ago

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Y/N was no genius, but at least her plan worked, bidding goodbye to the gorgeous fans she had met. She walked alongside the lovely middle-aged security guard, who introduced himself as Marco, down the labyrinth of corridors. She was skittish. Her heart hammered against her chest as she clenched her clammy hands and breathed slightly heavier than usual. As her head went into overdrive, she thought about what to do when facing Kylian. How should she act? What should she say? Should she ignore him - who fucking knew what she would do? All she understood was that this was going to be anything but easy.

Eventually arriving at the intended destination, the sweet security guard bid her farewell. Now left in front of the door. That may as well have led to hell, with fire and all. As her thoughts swarmed like wasps, she couldn't think straight. Her hand rested on top of the handle. Maybe I should have just stayed in the bathroom, she thought as she examined the door that separated her from the uncomfortable situation behind it. Letting out a deep sigh, the singer decided to get it over with - the quicker she got in, the faster she would get out. But when opening pandora's box, you never know what to expect.

Opening the door and stepping into the room quickly, the change in atmosphere was enough to give Y/N whiplash. In an attempt to enter quietly - she failed. With all eyes now on her, she tried to make herself seem less awkward as multiple eyes bore into her soul. "Whoever designed this stadium is either Albert Einstein or a fucking idiot." the guitarist was quickly embraced by her bandmates and ushered further into enemy territory. "Uh-huh, so you had time to post on Instagram, throw it back on tiktok, and tweet multiple times but are unable to find directions" Axel's face palmed at how stupid the idea sounded, but it worked in his friend's case.

"I'm just glad I got here before Johnny," The female vocalist said, rejoicing that she wasn't in trouble. "By the way, great match. You guys were amazing," she said, turning to face the PSG players, who thanked her as they all took a seat. Now comfortable on the floor, the players and musicians exchange questions regarding their professions. "Proudest moment?" Messi asked, receiving multiple 'ooh's' from the musical artists at the questions. "I've gotta say the Grammys. I mean, come on, we were nominated six times and won five - great night." Onyx said, "Uff, I've gotta say Coachella, that was mental" Axel considered

"What about you, Y/N?" Sabrina asked her friend, "We all know the answer", Axel said sarcastically. "Meeting Metallica", Cue groans from the rest of her bandmates. "What?" the singer laughed, looking at her bandmates, "baby, you are obsessed. Get help." Sabrina chimed in at her friend's fixation on the heavy metal band. "Okay, but Lars Ulrich knows who the fuck I am," the girl tried to reason with them, but it only dug her ditch further down. "We know we were there", Onyx sighed. "Then you should be able to grasp why this will be my only personality trait until I die."

As the band entered a heated discussion, Y/N almost forgot that she was in a room with her ex. However, she had yet to acknowledge him, avoiding all eye contact and keeping her distance. Safe to say, she thought no one had noticed - except someone had. Mbappe felt paralysed. He couldn't move or speak as he watched her in her little bubble, laughing and conversing with passion for the subject. Safe to say that the football player was jealous of Metallica for being such a crucial part of her life for so long - unlike him.

He thanked every god out there that they were all in their late 50s, knowing full well that if they were closer to her age, he would have more competition than he already did. I mean, who wouldn't want her? She was perfect. As he watched from afar, smiling at the self-proclaimed 'girl of his dreams, ' three other psg boys were scheming and preparing the beginning of what would be known as a project guitar string in one final attempt to get the soulmates back together again.

As the group continued to talk and laugh, Neymar suggested they take a group photo. As the group crowd around, the camera 5-second timer. Y/N stood obliviously in the middle of Messi and Neymar. Not realising it, Neymar removed himself from her side and, in his place, put Kylian, forcing his arm around her waist. Multiple pictures later, Y/N was still oblivious that she was cuddling into her ex's arm as the sound of the locker room door opening interpreted their photo shoot. None other than Mangere extraordinaire Johnny entered, "Good to see that your all are getting along."

"Well, I would think I would let you know before your coach tells you - that we're returning the favour and have got your tickets to tomorrow's concert and after party." safe to say that the entire team were over the moon. As Y/N turned to her correctly, expecting to see Neymar only to be greeted by the face of the man she spent countless nights crying over - Kylian fucking Mbappe. Frozen in place and on the verge of a panic attack. Only to be discretely dragged out of the touch of her ex by non-other than Sabrina.

Ignoring the searing heat from where his arm rested on her exposed skin, Y/N patiently waited for her friends to finish talking so they could leave - praying for them to be fast. When Hakimi approached her, the two acknowledged each other before falling into a pregnant silence. "You know he never stopped loving you," the Moroccan said before walking off - and with that, it was time to leave.

psg

liked by bloodyvalentines k.mbappe and 25,374,522 others ➻ tagged bloodyvalentines

psg nos rockstars préférées - translation our fav rockstars

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bloodyvalentines équipe de football préférée translation - fav football team ⤷ onyxisastone ❤️ ⤷ sab.rina ❤️ ⤷ axeman ❤️ ⤷ yourinstagram 🤍

user 🔥🔥🔥

user my favs

Y/N hey u up?

HALLAND yeah why?

Y/N you down to hang out or somethin?

HALLAND yeah sure everything alright?

Y/N yeah all good I'll swing round your hotel room?

HALLAND sounds good do you mind if the boys hang to they have been dying to meet you

Y/N yeah sure the more the merrier

HALLAND cool i'll text yeah the address

Y/N okay

Knocking on the door to the hotel room, Y/N messed with one of the rings on her finger. As the door opened, she was met with the comforting sight of the blond Norwegian she had grown fond of as he allowed her to enter. With a shut of the door, shedding coats and a brief exchange of greetings, the two walked towards the sitting room where the group of man city players sat playing FIFA. "Hey guys, look who's here." a slight turn of the head turned into a wave of shocked gasps and stunned faces, "And she's bought alcohol", the blond finished as they sat amidst the city squad.

"So she can play the guitar, sing, and is considerate - might as well change ya name to angel" Jack Grealish's heavy Birmingham accent made the singer smile - it reminded her of home. As the group opened the bottles of alcohol and shared them amongst themselves, they continued to talk and play FIFA. Talking with some of the other boys but still sticking close to halland, she enjoyed herself. She was indulging in alcohol, playing FIFA, and talking with her lovely new mates.

Completely forgetting the whole reason she came. To find a place to seek refuge from her argument with Axel. Y/N did appreciate them for worrying about her, but she felt suffocated. She wasn't a child. Yes, she wasn't 100% okay, but she was good enough to get by - long enough to get out of this cursed city. Hours felt like minutes as the others turned in for the night, leaving three. Y/N, Halland and a bottle of vodka.

"Everything alright?" Halland finally asked, leaning forward slightly. "Have you ever been in love" the sudden question confused the blond. "Can't say I ever have. Why?" As the distance continued to reduce by the second. "Then you wouldn't know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest" It didn't take long for Earling to figure out who she was talking about, Kylian. Guess the rumours were true.

"he didn't deserve you." the sudden confession made the girl look up with teary eyes. "Really?" the two were clearly under the influence of alcohol, "yeah, if you were my girl, I would have never let you go" somehow, Earling's hand curved around her neck. His mouth coming down on her, hard and fast yet sweet and so, very gentle. one might have been sickened at the sight - the way they gripped onto each other as if the other would disappear. The way Y/N sighs into his mouth, her head lolling back as Halland's lips ghost over her neck.

As their intimacy escalated rapidly, with clothes now on the floor, they were both hyper-aware. Not even sure if they had locked the door - but that wouldn't stop them. Nothing would. They were high on each other and drunk on cheap liquor. They had no intention of stopping. It was wrong, and she knew it was wrong. So profoundly, intensely, and morally wrong. If it hadn't been for the fact that Y/N had been in an argument with her bandmate, she would have left it there that night. But she didn't.

She lets his lips latch onto her again, humming against his mouth as his whole body climbs on top of her, engulfing her in his warmth. But all she could think about was Kylian. The thought made her want to scream, that she was about to get dicked down by a hot Norwegian, and all she could think about was her fucking ex. But her thoughts weren't going to stop her - not tonight. Between the curses, moans and kisses, Y/N gave herself over to Earling in the most precious yet innermost way.

A way that she once only ever did with Kylian. And if it weren't for how she and Halland collapsed against each other in a heated mess, limbs tangled with lips finding one another's in the early morning hours. The singer could almost forget the troubling tsunami her momentary lapse in judgement caused. She wasn't sure what time it was when Earling's soothing voice interrupted her as she responded to Onyx's text message. "your so beautiful," he murmured, his fingers running past her eyebrow as he engraved the features into his memory. Y/N didn't answer. Because all she could do was draw comparisons in the comfort she was receiving, the sickening sense of Deja vu made her want to cry. What had she done?

yourinstagram . 20hr ago

seen by axeman k.mbappe and 12,333,212 others

AXEL where are you? I'm sorry please come back are you still made at me? answer my texts please I need to know that your alright

(39 missed calls)

AXEL please pick up

(58 missed calls)

SABRINA look axe is sorry please come back are you drinking I saw your Instagram story who are you with please respond I'm getting worried

ONYX look I'm not going to pester you to come back If you need your own space just respond if you are okay so I don't have to file a missing person report even though it hasn't even been 24 hours

Y/N :)

ONYX okay I'll see you in the morning stay safe bye

Y/N :)

Hangovers were the worst, but they came second to the walk of shame. Y/N left before Earling woke up, leaving a note and some food she had made after she showered - the message explaining apologising for the hasty exit and hoping to see him at the concert. Walking through the quiet Parisian streets, the singer decided to take a quick detour into a bakery to get a gift of apology to give to her friends for her storming out and ghosting them the entire night. She left the lovely bakery with various pastries and treats and continued her journey back to her hotel.

She arrived at her destination with shortness of breath courtesy of the stairs she walked up. Knocking on the door, she waited until she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. As the door flung open, seeing the messy state of Axel, who looked like he had been crying his heart out. His eyes were red and puffy, and his face was void of colour. Y/N had little time to eat her share of guilt, being pulled quickly into a hug. They stayed in the embrace for a while. The sound of a throat clearing brought them back to reality. "Come on, Axe, stop hogging her."

As the singer entered the room for the first time since the fight, she made sure that she patched things up with everyone before enjoying the treats she had brought. "So who were you with, cuz you did not spend the night alone with that much alcohol," Sabrina asked, taking a bite of her pastry and groaning at how good it tasted. "Spent it with a friend", the songwriter replied. "You spend it with a friend. I don't know, Y/N, that sounds hard to believe," Onyx said, knowing how difficult it was for his friend to socialise on her own.

"Alcohol makes things easier," the girl said without a second thought, but she instantly regretted it as her friends gasped - it turns out they weren't completely brain-dead. "Oh my god, did you…" Axel asked, trailing off and waiting for a reply. "Yeah, it sorta just happened," the singer said as she took another sip of orange juice. "It wasn't him, was it," Sabrina asked, genuinely concerned that Y/N ended up in Kylian's arms after the fight. "Oh god, no." the singer's eyes widened at the thought, though what she did maybe ten times worse in some people's eyes. "Look, you don't have to tell us, just know that we are here for you", and with those words of comfort from Sabrina, the group of four got ready to put on the show of a lifetime.

sab.rina . 2hr ago

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onyxisarock . 2hr ago

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bloodyvalentine

liked by sab.rina k.mbappe and 45,911,346 others ➻ tagged yourinstagram sab.rina onyxisarock axeman

bloodyvalentine are you ready paris

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yourinstagram can't wait

sab.rina dame who are those cuties? ⤷ onyxisastone idk where can I get their number

axeman 🔥🔥🔥

user can't wait for tonight

user wish i had tickets

axeman

liked by onyxisastone yourinstagram and 30,119,696 others

axeman been ready my whole life

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absolutebl · 1 year ago

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Hey! So I'm watching destiny seeker and it's so cute that it makes me want to watch more university bl. The problem is that i think I've already watched most of the known ones. Are there some lesser known uni bl that you'd recommend?

( Off the top of my head, ive atleast checked out sotus, bad buddy, we best love, kiss me again, 2gether, futs (I can't remember if that was high school or uni tbh), semantic error, tharntype, lita, blueming,eighth sense, stay by my side (I don't remember if this was uni or high school either), theory of love, his:2 crossing the line, and be my favorite if that counts. Oh and I've never been able to make it through oxygen)

Exhaustive List of University BLs as of late 2023

This list is by my ranking off the Spreadsheet of Doom. Best (by my standards) first. I treid to pick only those that are set in university and revolved around it as the primary drivers. He's Coming to Me got knocked off, for example, but UWMA stayed on.

Title - Country & Year

MY FAVORITE UNI BLS - WATCH THEM NOW - 10/10

Semantic Error - Korea 2022 Until We Meet Again- Thai 2019 We Best Love - Taiwan 2021

THESE ARE PRETTY GREAT TOO - 9/10

Bad Buddy - Thai 2022 Blueming - Korea 2022 Oxygen the series - Thai 2020 The Eighth Sense - Korea 2023

THESE ARE GOOD BUT TROUBLE ME IN SOME WAY - 8/10

2gether & Still 2gether - Thai 2020 Be My Favorite - Thai 2023 Between Us - Thai 2023 Dark Blue Kiss - Thai 2019 (prequels = Kiss Me Again et al, watch guide here) Destiny Seeker - Thai 2023 Hidden Agenda - Thai 2023 HIStory 2: Right or Wrong - Taiwan 2018 (teacher/student) Love By Chance - Thai 2018 (Mame warning) Love Class - Korea 2022 Love Class Season 2 - Korea 2023 Mr. Unlucky Can Only Kiss AKA Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! - Japan 2022 SOTUS - Thai 2016 Star in My Mind - Thai 2022 Stay By My Side - Taiwan 2023 TharnType - Thai 2019 Theory of Love - Thai 2019 Why R U? (Korean remake) - Korea 2023 Why R U? - Thai 2020

IT'S FINE 7/10

2 Moons 2 - Thai 2019 2 Moons The Ambassador (2 Moons 3) - Thai 2022 En of Love: Love Mechanics - Thai 2020 Enchanté - Thai 2022 Future the series - Thai 2023 Love in the Air - Thai 2022 (Mame warning) Mr. Heart - Korea 2020 My Engineer - Thai 2020 My Type - Taiwan 2021 Nitiman - Thai 2021 Private Lessons - Korea 2019 (teacher/student) Secret Crush On You - Thai 2022 Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru - Japan 2017 Step For You - Korea 2018

I HAVE CONCERNS OR MEH - 6/10

2 Moons - Thai 2017 Ai Long Nhai - Thai 2022 En of Love: This is Love Story - Thai 2020 En of Love: Tossera - Thai 2020 Friend or Lover - Taiwan 2016 Gen Y - Thai 2021 Love By Chance 2: A Chance at Love - Thai 2020 Love Mechanics - Thai 2022 My Secret Love - Thai 2022 Starstruck- Korea 2023 Together with Me - Thai 2017 Tonhon Chonlatee - Thai 2021 You're My Sky - Thai 2022

WELL IF YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO - 5/10

4 Days - Pinoy 2016 Don’t Say No - Thai 2021 Friend or Lover - Taiwan 2021 Gen Y 2 - Thai 2022 Itsuka no Kimi e - Japan 2007 Like Love 1 AKA I Love You As A Man: Part 1 - China 2014 With Love - Thai 2019

YOU MAY REGRET YOUR LIFE CHOICES

4/10 Fish Upon the Sky - Thai 2021 Nabang Spark - Korea 2011 Our Days - Thai 2022 Pastsenger - Thai 2023

3/10 Coming Out AKA Kamingu Auto - Japan 2014 Melody of Our Love AKA Bokura no Ai no Kanade - Japan 2008 Our Memory - Taiwan 2020 Reminders - Thai 2019 The Cupid Coach - Thai 2021 Together with Me the Next Chapter - Thai 2018

2/10 From Here to There - HK 2012 The Effect - Thai 2019

1/10 A Round Trip to Love - China 2016

Here's an older post I did:

Slightly more recent:

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save-the-data · 5 years ago

Text

🅳🆁🅰🅼🅰 🅶🅸🅵 🅼🅰🆂🆃🅴🆁 🅻🅸🆂🆃

🅲🅷🅸🅽🅰

Guardian

S.C.I

Killer and Healer

Outcast

Detective Samoyeds

My Roommate is a Detective

Ultimate Note

Hikaru No Go

Heroes

Novoland: Eagle Flag

Murder Notes

Evil Minds

Cross Fire

Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Stand by Me

Stay with Me

The Haunting

Adventures of Young Detectives

Tientsin Mystic

Yandai Byway No. 10

Breaking Dawn

Desire Catcher

Men with Sword 2

Xiang Long

A League of Nobleman

Along with Me

L.O.R.D Critical World

Order of Sommelier

Reunion: The Sound of the Providence S1

The Blood of Youth

The Silent Criminal

Word of Honor

🅹🅰🅿🅰🅽

Amerio Paradox Aogeba Toutoshi Coffee Ikaga Deshou Criminologist Himura and Mystery Writer Arisugawa Death Note Don't Call it Mystery Dousoukai Eien no Kinou FAKE Motion Fugitive Boys Fukou-kun was Kiss Suru Shikanai Fuujinshi Gannibal Given High&Low the Worst Episode.0 His - I Didn't Think I Would Fall in Love Jack O'Frost Kamen Rider 555 Kamen Rider Fourze Kamen Rider W Kamisama no Ekohiki Kamne Rider OOO Kei x Yaku: Abunai Aibou Kimi no koto Dake Miteitai / I Want to See Only You Kiss that Kills Life as a Girl Me, My Husbands and My Husband's Boyfriend Minato's Coin Laundry S1 Minato's Coin Laundry S2 More than Words Muchuu-sa, Kimi Ni My Beautiful Man S1 My Beautiful Man S2 My Personal Weatherman Naked Dining Ningen Shikkaku Old Fashion Cupcake Our Dining Table Radiation House Re: Follower Senpai, Danjite Koidewa! Sugarless Takara-kun to Amagi-kun Tokyo in April is… Trapped in a Box Vanishing My First Love XXXHoLic Zettai Bl na Hokago S1

🆂🅾🆄🆃🅷 🅺🅾🆁🅴🅰

Bon Appetit

Jun & Jun

A Shoulder to Cry On

All the Liquors

At a Distance, Spring is Green Bad and Crazy Behind Cut Black Knight Blueming Cherry Blossoms After Winter Choco Milk Shake Color Rush S1 Color Rush S2 Connect Duel First Love Again Ghost Doctor Happy Ending Romance Hellbound Individual Circumstances Insider Island S1 Island S2 Jun & Jun Kissable Lips Light on Me Love Class Love Class S2 Love in Spring Love Mate Missing Noir M My Sweet Dear Nobleman Ryu's Wedding Oh! Boarding House Oh! My Assistant One Ordinary Day Our Dating Sim Roommates of Poongduck 304 Semantic Error Star Struck The Devil Judge The Director who buys me Dinner The Eighth Sense The New Employee The Tasty Florida Through the Darkness Tinted with You To My Star S1 To My Star S2: Our Untold Stories Unintentional Love Story Weak Hero Class S1 You Make Me Dance You're All Surrounded

🆃🅰🅸🆆🅰🅽

Stay by my Side

49 Days with a Merman

About Youth

Be Loved in House: I Do

Danger Zone: The Dark Night

History3: Trapped

History4: Close to You

Innocent

Kiseki: Dear to Me

KO One Re-Act

Love is Science?

Oh! No Here Comes Trouble

Papa and Daddy S1

Plus & Minus

We Best Love: Fight Mr. 2nd

We Best Love: No.1 For You

🆃🅷🅰🅸🅻🅰🅽🅳

Hidden Love

You're My Sky

Nitiman

Manner of Death

Laws of Attraction

Wedding Plan

House of Stars

Midnight Museum

Mafia the Series: Guns and Freaks

180 Degree Longitute Passese Through Us 2 Moons: The Ambassador 21 Days Theory 609 Bedtime Story A Tale of Thousand Stars Ai Long Nhai Bad Buddy Bed Friend Between Us Big Dragon Bite Me Blacklist Boyband Call it What you Want S1 Catch Me Baby Chains of Heart Check Out Close Friend S1 Close Friend S2 Crazy Handsome Rich Cupid's Last Wish Cutie Pie Dangerous Romance Dark Blue Kiss Destiny Seeker En of Love: Love Mechanics Even Sun Fahlanruk Friends Forever Gen Y S2 Ghost Host, Ghost House Golden Blood Hard Love Mission He's Coming to Me Hidden Agenda Hidden Love Hit Bite Love House of Stars House of the Dark Shadows I Promised You the Moon I Will Knock You In Between KinnPorche La Cuisine Laws of Attraction Love By Chance Love by Chance: A Chance to Love Love in the Air Love in Translaton Love Mechanics Love Poison S1 Love Poison S2 Love Stage!! Love Syndrome Love with Benefits Mafia the Series: Guns and Freaks Make it Right 1 & 2 Manner of Death Midnight Museum Moonlight Chicken My Ambulance My Coach My Engineer My Gear and Your Gown My Only 12% My Ride My School President My Secret Love Never Let Me Go Nha Harn the Series Nitiman Not Me On Cloud Nine Only Friends Our Days Our Skyy 2 Oxygen Part-Time Pastseger Physical Therapy Remember You Rose in Da House Saneha Stories Season 4: Saneha Kap Cheewit Scent of Love School Tales the Series Second Chance Secret Crush on You Self Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey S1 Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey S2 Siew Sum Noi Skinship S1 Skinship S2 So Much in Love Something in My Room Star and Sky: Sky in Your Heart Star and Sky: Star in My Mind That's My Candy The Best Story The Eclipse The End of the World, with You The Love of Winter The Miracle of Teddy Bear The Tuxedo The Warp Effect Till the World Ends Tin Tem Jai the Series To Sir, With Love Together with Me Tomorrow I'll Still Love You Triage Unforgotten Night Until We Meet Again Vice Versa War of Y Water Boyy Wedding Plan What If What Zabb Man! Why You…Y Me? Work From Heart You're My Sky

#Post: Drama GIF Master List

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bl-bam-beyond · 2 years ago

Text

The Doppelganger Series

Perhaps it's just me but in my opinion, these two are very close in looks. Does anyone agree?

First meet TANATORN SAENANGKANIKORN

[Nickname: TITLE] He's the older of the two slightly. Born June 27, 2000. He made his debut in BL Until We Meet Again in a guest role. He then went on to do TharnType Season 2 in a Support Role. He was also in My Only 12%, Remember Me, Future and is currently in a lead role in the BL LaPluie: The Series. He is a talented young man.

Now meet KHUNAKORN SUNANTHAM [Nickname: TEE or TEEREX] BORN October 8, 2000 he made his debut in BL The Cupid Coach in a lead role. From there came another lead role in 21 Days Theory and most recently he was in a support role in Future: The Series for Rookie Thailand.

Two very handsome actors in some BL SERIES. Do you think they resemble?

I'll ask two mutuals for opinions @pose4photoml and @lutawolf

Ok @bengiyo this is a one I did a while ago. Thoughts?

#POST: THE DOPPELGANGER SERIES #LOOK ALIKES #ACTORS WITH SIMILARITIES #THAI ACTORS #THEY BOTH HAD SUPPORT ROLES IN FUTURE: THE SERIES #My GIFS #MYGIFSET #MyGIFedit #DOES ANYONE ELSE AGREE?#LA PLUIE: THE SERIES

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laresearchette · 11 months ago

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Friday, February 09, 2024 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: SUNCOAST (Disney + Star) JEFF DUNHAM: I’M WITH CUPID (Paramount+ Canada) JERSEY SHORE FAMILY VACATION (Season 7 Premiere) (Paramount+ Canada) SHE CAME TO ME (Paramount+ Canada) MEET ME IN ROME (The Roku Channel) JOE BOB'S VERY VIOLENT VALENTINE'S DAY (Shudder) SUPER BOWL GREATEST COMMERCIALS XXIII: THE ULTIMATE COUNTDOWN

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA SAINDHAV SMALL TALK UPGRADED WOLF LIKE ME (Season 2)

CBC GEM BLUE VALENTINE MY MUM YOUR DAD

CRAVE TV 50 FIRST DATES AKILLA’S ESCAPE CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE THE DEPARTED EARTH MAMA EDGE OF THE KNIFE ELLA AND THE LITTLE SORCERER JOHN Q A LOBSTER TALE LICORICE PIZZA MAID IN MANHATTAN THE NOTEBOOK PERCY POETIC JUSTICE RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE: UK VS. THE WORLD (Season 2, Episode 1) STARSHIP TROOPERS SUICIDE SQUAD (2016)

DISNEY + STAR CYPHER SUNCOAST

NETFLIX CANADA ALPHA MALES (Season 2) (ES) ASHES (TR) BHAKSHAK (IN) DESPICABLE ME DESPICABLE ME 2 DESPICABLE ME 3 A KILLER PARADOX (KR) LOVER, STALKER, KILLER (GB)

FIBA BASKETBALL (SN) 9:20am: Women's Basketball Olympic Qualifying: Canada vs. Spain

NLL LACROSSE (TSN5) 6:30pm: Desert Dogs vs. Thunderbirds

TRAFFICKED VOICES (documentary) 7:00pm: Canada's sex trafficking industry is reaching a national crisis level. Three survivors of trafficking tell their stories.

WARRIOR STRONG (Crave) 7:15pm: Trying to save his career, a suspended professional basketball player returns home to coach his former high school team.

NBA BASKETBALL (SN1/SNOntario) 7:30pm: Rockets vs. Raptors (TSN2/TSN3/TSN4/TSN5) 8:00pm: Hornets vs. Bucks (SN1) 10:30pm: Pelicans vs. Lakers

NHL HOCKEY (SNEast/SNPacific) 8:00pm: Penguins vs. Wild (SNWest) 10:00pm: Oilers vs. Ducks

RIVALRY SERIES HOCKEY (TSN/TSN4) 8:00pm: United States vs. Canada

MARKETPLACE (CBC) 8:00pm: A cyber scam known as pig butchering combines investment schemes, romance scams and cryptocurrency fraud; meeting people who lost their life savings and the trust of their loved ones.

MILLION DOLLAR ISLAND (Discovery Canada) 8:00pm: Wheel winner Jake is in charge of who will be chosen for the next elimination challenge.

THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF JERSEY (Slice) 8:00pm: Reunion

BOLLYWED (documentary) 8:00pm: With two renos and peak wedding season underway, Kuki decides the whole family needs to attend all customer weddings together.

GARAGE SALE MYSTERIES: PICTURE A MURDER (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: Jenn gets the photos in an antique camera from the estate of a recently deceased and seemingly wealthy photography enthusiast printed, and one of the pictures leads her to believe that the man's death was anything but accidental.

ABOUT THAT (CBC) 8:30pm

THE FIFTH ESTATE (CBC) 9:00pm: A look at hate groups that are targeting kids on social media, where they are lead to self-harm, plan violent attacks and end their lives; and how police are often unable to act.

AKILLA'S ESCAPE (Crave) 9:00pm: A drug dealer finds his moral code challenged when he interrupts an armed robbery and captures one of the gang members who is a 15-year-old boy.

EDGE OF THE KNIFE (Starz Camada) 9:00pm: A tragic accident causes an anguished man to retreat deep into the forest where he is transformed into a "wild man."

THE SUMMIT AUSTRALIA (Discovery Canada) 9:30pm: Sam's betrayal costs the group more than time and money; Jans finds a way into Brooke's heart; shifting loyalties force contestants to wonder who they can really trust.

LITTLE BIRD (CTV) 10:00pm: The Little Bird family comes together to mourn death and celebrate life; Esther and Golda are changed by this journey, which has strengthened their bond; Esther has finally found what she's been looking for.

CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm: An innocent victim, 28-year-old Mila Barberi is gunned down while picking up her boyfriend, Saverio Serrano from work.

RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE UK VS THE WORLD (Crave2) 10:05pm (SEASON PREMIERE): Nine drag queen legends, famous for having appeared in international versions of RuPaul's Drag Race', compete inRuPaul's Drag Race UK vs the World'.

EARTH MAMA (Crave) 10:35pm: With two children in foster care, Gia, a pregnant single mother pitted against the system, fights to reclaim her family. In her close-knit Bay Area community, she works to make a life for herself and her kids.

#cdntv #cancon #canadian tv #canadian tv listings #marketplace #million dollar island #the real housewives of jersey #bollywed #about that #the fifth estate #the summit australia #little bird #crime beat #fiba basketball #nll lacrosse #nba basketball #nhl hockey #hockey

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the-book-queen · 2 years ago

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nonotnolan · 3 years ago

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No Not Nolan's Year in Review

I thought about doing a top ten list, but... given that I average one story per month, I figure-- why not rank all of my stories from this year? And so, here we are.

13) Auld Lang Slime - 122 notes - December 2021 It's a little unfair to judge this one so early, since it hasn't even been out for a full week. Nevertheless, it's a great story about a New Year's Resolution, and a guy who just needs an otherworldly nudge.

12) Fiverr Warlock: Freed from Master - 140 notes - November 2021 It's the weakest entry in the Fiverr Warlock series, but it's one of my favorites for the amount of lore building that it establishes. The world does have other magic users, after all.

11) Swappiversary - 141 notes - January 2021 This story is one of my favorites; I love the thought of exploring what happens to people months or years after a body swap. A married couple celebrates 10 years of being together.

10) Fiverr Warlock: On the House - 183 notes - April 2021 The second entry in the Fiverr Warlock series, this story focuses on a client who wants to kick his bully down a notch or two.

9) Setting Boundaries - 194 notes - June 2021 Having roommates can be rough. When you're stuck with a roommate who steals your body without asking permission, you have to make a stand.

8) Post-Exam Karma - 195 notes - December 2021 The head man on campus learns a hard lesson in treating people kindly, especially people who you trust with valuable things. Or perhaps it's a lesson in making sure you have leverage over the other person. Or maybe he just doesn't learn a lesson at all.

7) Here's to the Future - 218 notes - February 2021 I wrote this story as a Valentine's Day gift exchange with my boyfriend, and it's one of the few merging stories that I've ever written. It is every bit as sappy as you would expect a Valentine's story to be.

6) Fiverr Warlock: Professional Courtesy - 230 notes - September 2021 The highest scoring Fiverr Warlock story on the list, this one features a novice magic user who doesn't quite understand how to avoid detection while casting possession spells.

5) Information Overload - 265 notes - August 2021 Doctor Parker has been trying to pioneer a method of implanting knowledge directly into someone's brain. His lab assistants have a different plan in mind.

4) Having the Money - 285 notes - January 2021 When you have money, you can get anything you want for the right price. Anyone who says you can't buy health just isn't willing to pay enough for it.

3) One Week - 294 notes - October 2021 I don't often write alien possession stories, but when the right idea strikes my fancy, I'll try almost anything once. This isn't an alien who's trying to learn Earth Culture-- this is an alien who just wants to stay hidden. Despite his crewmate's best efforts.

2) Could be Worse, Right? - 323 notes - March 2021 Greg and Caleb find themselves in each others' bodies. Naturally, Greg wants to reverse the swap as soon as possible. Caleb, however, is a lot more relaxed about the entire situation.

1) Final's Week - 430 notes - May 2021 This story is by far one of my favorites, so I'm glad other people have enjoyed it, too. In a world where people can easily switch bodies for short periods of time, teachers have it rough. Coach Phillips tries to make it through his day without losing his sanity.

Special Mentions:

Fiverr Warlock: Swap and Servitude - 215 notes - December 2020 So, it's not technically a 2021 story, but I wrote it on Dec 27th, and it's the only Fiverr Warlock story that doesn't appear on this list. It seems fair to give it a shout-out. Fun fact-- I didn't know it was going to be a series at the time, so the first post of this story didn't have the sub-title.

Cupid's Valentine - 226 notes - February 2021 by @mergeman I would be remiss if I did not mention the story that my wonderful boyfriend wrote for me during our Valentine's Day exchange. I'm not always the best at sharing emotions, but it would not be an exaggeration to say that our growing relationship has been the best part of 2021. I look forward to seeing it develop in the many years to come.

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heretherebedork · 3 years ago

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A Farewell to 2021

(told in the (approx) 90 BL titles that I watched in 2021)

What a year we've been Given! We reached for a Fish in the Sky but mostly ended up saying Hello Stranger to many Limited Editions but Don't Say No to this Love Advisor just yet! We've been Top Secret Together as we wrote To My Star into The Yearbook but that doesn't make us Fools just Stupid Boys, Stupid Love that led us the Peach of Time. The end of the year was Worth The Wait as we turned on the Wheel of Love to find A First Love Story and survive a Bad Roommate. We told a lot of people to Bite Me and asked many Close Friend to See You after Quarantine? so Innocent in the that they're say Meet Me Outside or at least Meet My Angel. We learned about Love with Benefits and tried to discover if Love is Science? as we discussed what Love Is. Call it What You Want but we sought out a Hometown's Embrace to find the Love Area and the Light, especially the Light on Me for the Evening Cafe. You are Ma Boy forever, every one of you, but the Hidden Love we share is Killer and Healer all in one. There are so many Lovely Writer out there The Most Peaceful Place can be anywhere as we Wish You on a star for our Y-Destiny. You Make Me Dance in The Best Story and across The Tasty Florida as We Best Love, Please Tell Me So, as we say goodbye to quite a filled year. This was a Second Chance after 2020 to see My Beautiful Man being Immeasurable and to draw a Nitiman closer to where we can Sea Him. We chose to Follow My Sunshine and finish a 7 Project to go Diving into Love and find the Golden Blood at the bottom of ocean. We've found Brothers and sisters and siblings even a Nation's Brother and maybe a Cat Boyfriend or a Country Boy or just My Boy or even My Lascivious Boss or experienced a Stranger's Kiss or met The Cupid Couch or The Devil Judge as we tried to start a Company Romance to discover My Mate Match. We wrote a Hypnosis Note to show that Hey Rival, I Love You as a Cupid's Prank to My Toxic Lover but followed it up with a Dear Uranus letter to keep the world on our side. I'm a Fool for You but let me Close to You anyway so we could start My Love Mix Up and you could be My Sweet Dear not My Toxic Lover when we went to Nobleman Ryu's Wedding to see The Couple and share their Word of Honor. There was a Sweet Curse during the drought but Once in a Memory we found Ossan's Love in the Spring Life and said let's Be Loved in House and Hold Me tighter. There was a Komorebi at the very end and the Absolute BL we held dearly never left us On the Turf.

Thank you all so much for a wonderful and magical 2021, may 2022 be just as magical and wonderful in our little corner of the internet!

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