#and also perpetually want to talk about characters SO badly but never know how to start a convo or who to start it with

[all-pacas]

i think you're deeply in denial about being a chase/cam shipper or you gotta change your definition of shipping or something. because whatever you're doing here absolutely 100% looks like shipping them. to the untrained eye

in reality i have this very multi long paragraph disclaimer that's too convoluted to even explain but here ya go:

they are my two favorite characters

i like seeing them interact because of this fact

i find their deeply complimentary set of flaws fascinating. i love seeing cameron in a Relationship because she's such a fucking unreliable narrator about herself. i like seeing chase in a relationship because the very concept of "putting someone besides yourself first" is so antithetical to him and the opposite of what he has learned his whole life. i want to put them in a room together. i want cameron to talk at glowing length about her soulmate dead husband and how she watched him die and i want chase to talk about watching his mother die and how much he hates and resents her. i don't know where that conversation would go but i Want It. it's like how i want chase and 13 to talk about murder and redemption together. it is a platonic smashing together of fake people, not about making them kiss

i think they were badly written in the sense that like. there's no writing. they're just together. now they're not. now chase has feelings. do we see them? no. now cameron has feelings. do we see them? no. now they date for three years. as someone who likes writing and narrative this drives me insane because it's so lazy.

i think i could do it better, not in a "because i want to write uwu fixit fanfic where they kiss" way but in a "this sort of writing drives me insane" way. like. huddy was badly written too but it very much existed. cameron and chase are just "oh btw chase fell for her at some point for some reason during fwb." why???? we can handwave but there is NOTHING IN CANON. cameron likes him too! why??? WHO KNOWS

however i also find it annoying when people go "solution: they never dated, we pretend it never happened" because that's ALSO lazy and retcons several years of canon including cameron's exit from the show. including the actual character development chase gets, which i actually do like. i think i'm a rare person who almost prefers late series chase. i like short haired chase. and i don't like the idea of erasing all that canon development just because "uwu i don't like it" (or, more petty, because "uwu i think cameron should have kissed x -- usually house -- so i hate this canon relationship that like it or not did exist")

this ties in to my actual fairly complicated feelings about cameron and how a lot of fandom tends to Girlboss her up in obvious and admirable contrast to her years of reddit-ish character bashing. where i admire the Spirit but deeply dislike this Girlboss characterization.

basically i am a deeply contrary person by nature

so whenever i see this ship i go IT COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER, and OUT OF SPITE I WILL DEFEND IT, which is a whole perpetual motion machine of feelings

i honestly could not care less about them kissing. except for the specific episodes where they allude to having a sex life and foreman all but flees the room. i actually care quite a lot about that, i think it's super funny. so in that context (in front of foreman, to troll him) i want them to make out.

i've gone and read old ffn stories from when the show was airing that featured them as a couple. like from true fans and believers of the ship. i disagree with almost all of it and think usually cameron and usually chase are ooc in these stories. but in different ways. this also triggers my spite

so sure. yes. i ship it. probably,

[cuppa-ale]

I really wish that I was more interested in things. More invested and curious w/o someone needing to show it to me directly. Right now, I feel like it's really difficult because no matter what I do, I feel empty and lonely and it feels like a self-perpetuating cycle.

I want to be enthusiastic and into things, but I feel like I'm going to be abandoned or shrugged off and I can't shake that lonely feeling that makes me feel sick. And yet I also know that I can't be part of anything or get other people interested if I'm not interested, but I feel so sick because of the loneliness that I don't even want to try for fear of hurting myself more, and it loops all around. I don't want to think this way. Sometimes I don't, but it always comes back.

I feel like I desperately want to ask for validation and attention, yet I feel dumb because of that- yet I would never begrudge anyone else for wanting the same. I actually wish that people were more upfront like that, because it's normal to want those things, and no one can know if you don't speak up. Sometimes people just don't know or are socially awkward, speaking from experience. And I'm often left wondering and guessing about what I can or can't do, so somebody being upfront would be so, so massively helpful.

And yet I also know why I try to keep most people at arms' length too- I feel so afraid that I can't trust them to not hurt or abandon me or someone else for liking a character or a ship or whatever that they don't. And that may sound dumb as hell (because it is) but that also makes it extremely hard to find community or camaraderie in fan or hobby circles in general. There is always, always a hint of doubt in my mind and I hate it. I don't want to go through that again. God, I don't want to go through that again.

And I worry that I don't have much to offer another person bc of how sincerely exhausted and hermited I am.

I feel overworked and overwhelmed in my daily life. Even if I could get past this anxiety, I barely have time for anything outside of manual labor, housekeeping, caretaking, and yet I still feel like a disappointment and that I could be doing more if my brain wasn't so fucked up.

I am so tired. And I feel like I really don't have an escape or outlet. I feel so mediocre and selfish because I want so badly for someone to hold me and pay attention to me and help me and remind me that I'm not a lost cause piece of trash. But I'm also very aware of the fact that nobody can fix me or make my problems go away. I feel like I'm not happy no matter what and that scares me.

I feel like it also doesn't even matter what I do or don't do because no one is paying attention. That's probably really stupid too, but that's the mindset I get sometimes. I don't like thinking that way either.

I don't want to do things for the sake of attention or validation because that's not the reason why I do them, and I never ever want that to be the reason why. And yet I know that's what I crave, and it always rears its ugly head.

I believe that this is part of why I like Crayzar and Tyetaynus so much- Tyetaynus has been implied to be obsessed with Crayzar for years, hunting him down and "making him pay" for leaving him- but meanwhile, Crayzar just seems to not give a shit about his brother, and I think there's so much angst and drama and shit you can pull from that it's nuts. And so I really really want to make art that explores that bc I find Tyetaynus to be a super cathartic character and I want to express that "grief of what never came to be", "all i wanted was you", "I'm going to make you hurt like you made me hurt", and anger and all of those emotions and I hope it comes through, but I may as well talk about it here bc it actually makes me feel sane.

So I try to redirect those feelings into art and characters and stories in general, because idk what else to do with them. But it worries me bc again, it makes it so, so difficult to just be chill and relax and feel like I can indulge or be curious about something bc I have this horrible, paranoid, looming feeling at all times that something is very wrong and that the something wrong is me and that everyone thinks it. (even if that's not the case. I fully believe that I suffer from paranoid delusions bc I've been affected by them so, so bad, only to find that it's unfounded or I'm just being dumb. I just want someone to tell me unequivocally at all times that everything is okay and I'm okay, and sometimes that's all I can think about.)

All I want to do is make stuff at the end of the day. The one thing I want to do above all else is make stuff, even if I have to find the time from being overworked and exhausted and sick. Even if I have to make myself sick while doing so, that is the very 1 one thing I want to do in this world before I leave it.

I want to work on the doll commission I started work on recently. I want to continue working on my OCs and preparations for my first original comic. I want to tell their stories. I want to draw weird and mushy and complicated ship art. I want to draw my brain wife. I want to draw silly self-inserts and whatever other trivial thing I can think of. I want to make gifts for my friends.

I want to keep going and I want to keep doing that no matter what. That's all I want to do. I have no choice. I want to make stuff and I want to share it and I want to keep doing that until I die, or until I no longer can.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I saw that post talking about parents and wanted to ask if you think the Shroud parents are bad? I kinda see it because they’re never around for Idia and they feel distant from their kids, do they even know their youngest died?

[I believe Anon is referencing this post!]

***CONTENT WARNING: this post will discuss themes of child neglect, suicide, and major character death.***

Mmm, I do believe that the Shroud parents aren’t the best at… well, parenting 😂 but in a very different way than, say, Mama Rosehearts. While Mama Rosehearts was overbearing and breathed down every waking second of Riddle’s neck, the Shroud parents seem to be very absent from their sons’ lives.

Idia mentions in episode 6 that it’s just like his parents to care more about getting results over the feelings of their son (him). After all, they pulled him out of school without a care in the world and assigned him to run tests on his own classmates. From how Idia speaks about them, this appears to be a pattern of behavior that he has come to expect over the years. Additionally, it seems that Idia rarely communicates with or sees his parents in person, as he expresses surprise when they do so in episode 6 (though we don’t get to witness this for ourselves). This demonstrates some level of detachment on the Shroud parents’ part.

Another detail that’s highly suspect is the lack of the Shroud parents in Idia’s flashback. Instead, it is various researchers overseeing Idia and his studies. This may indicate that the Shroud parents weren’t around that often, probably kept busy with their own work and operations at S.T.Y.X. Indeed, as Idia elaborates in episode 7, his parents don’t seem to get involved with him unless it is to tell him off for misbehaving. For example, Idia recounts a time in his childhood when he was eight years old and modified a cleaning device to shoot laser beams. He also got scolded badly after the episode 6 incident; Idia says that his parents sent him back to the remote and inaccessible Sage’s Island/NRC just to “hide the real perpetrator” (or, as Idia puts it, it’s just a nicer way for his parents to say they be rid of him at the moment).

Even more telling than the Shrouds’ general absence in Idia’s life is their absence during his time of need. Following Ortho’s passing, we don’t get to see how the Shroud parents reacted to this major event, which lends into the feeling of distance that was perpetuated earlier. Furthermore, we can see in Idia’s flashback that he took Ortho’s death extremely poorly—to the point where he locked himself away in his room for the proceeding two years to work on robo!Ortho. When Idia finally emerges to present his creation, he does so to nameless researchers rather than to his parents, for it was the researchers that have come to check up on his wellbeing, not the parents. Clearly Idia is still not doing well (as he breaks down into tears after presenting robo!Ortho), and still we see not a single glimpse of his parents being around to support him. This is particularly concerning because Idia drops some very heavy lines in episode 6 which imply he may be suicidal; those feelings of shame, guilt, and grief were festering inside of him for so long that he closed himself off from the world when he was once so eager to experience it as a child.

In spite of everything I’ve said though 🤔 I do think the Shroud parents care, albeit in their own… unique way. I’m not saying it’s the “best” way or even that it’s acceptable, but they do care to some extent (even if their methods are misguided, the intention behind them can still be well-meaning). For example, as Rook points out when Idia says his parents just sent him back to school to be rid of him, “It’s just their way of showing their love for you.” One could argue that sending Idia away when the public has become aware of S.T.Y.X. and is theorizing about its purpose, the Shroud parents are trying to shield him from public attention. In fact, even though they are presented as not being around for Idia, they are aware of his hobbies and interests (like, they know to hide Idia’s console cords when his games distract him too much), as well as his weaknesses (they remark that Idia is not cut out for hospitality). Their scoldings are also granted for reasonable instances unlike the tirades about sugar that Mama Rosehearts goes on, and are likely done out of concern and wanting to help guide their son along the right path. When the Shrouds are tasked with such an important duty (to oversee the Gate to the Underworld and the operations at S.T.Y.X.), I can understand why they’d be busy and maybe can’t be that involved with their children but still want to ensure that their successor turns out well. The future is with Idia.

I think maybe the most ambiguous proof we have that the Shroud parents care (again, in their own weird way) is that they ultimately do allow robo!Ortho to formally enroll as a student at NRC. Of course, we don’t know what their exact reasons for approving this were, or how they really feel about robo!Ortho, but I’d like to give them the benefit of the doubt that this is their way of supporting their sons moving forward. Idia is going off on his internship soon, and robo!Ortho, who has been there to support him along the way, is now beginning a new chapter of his own life. Robo!Ortho was a large part of the incident that occurred at S.T.Y.X. HQ, so I feel like if the Shroud parents truly disliked him or saw him as a threat, they’d shut him down entirely. But they didn’t—they allowed Ortho to continue existing, to live alongside Idia and the others. That, in of itself, speaks volumes to me about them.

Sure, the Shroud parents may not be the most active or the most present in their children’s lives, but their presence is still very much there… almost like a wisp, a phantom, if you will, watching over them. I think they’re definitely lacking in the emotional support department but 🥲 no parent can be perfect, I guess…

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #231

I was hoping to rest today, but today was filled with lots of stuff.

I went to therapy first thing, and talked a lot about the events of Otakon, about you, and about what I tried to do. I told my therapist a lot more about the event than I wrote in my letters; I'm somewhat afraid of writing them down, getting my hopes up, and ending up disappointed.

They seemed proud of me, though. My therapist, I mean. It's not normal for me to so boldly take up space even with ordinary people, let alone with people powerful enough to weave your fate. If it's for you, though, I can probably rise up to any challenge, no matter how scary it is.

It's in their hands. We'll see what happens in a few years, I suppose.

I saw the dandelion-floof-haired man today, who gave me a pin that he made himself because he liked my Eevee hat; I wrote about him some time ago. Maybe you remember, or maybe not. Either way, he invited me to eat lunch together and to talk about various things at a nearby diner. He seems nice enough; I doubt he'd want to do anything weird to me, and even if he did, I am more than capable of defending myself if I have to. We ate; I got stuffed mushrooms, but I was a bit too soup-brained to think to take any pictures of them for you; I'm sorry. Still, they were some of the best ones I've ever had. They were filled with a kind of seafood stuffing; I wonder if you would have liked them.

He asked me what I've been up to. Lately, I had been elbows deep in preparing myself for the convention and the thing I am trying to do for you, so I spoke about that, along with my rationale. He seemed to understand, and he related to me with similar experiences and thoughts of his own, and it was very good!

By the time that was done with, I had to go to physical therapy. Because my day of the week changed from Wednesday to Tuesday due to now having a bakery job, I am seeing a new person named K. Because K is unfamiliar with me, he began with an evaluation. And for this evaluation, he checked out my ribcage. I had not yet had an evaluation of the integrity of my ribcage done (which is weird, considering I have a RIB injury…), but it was done today, and it was discovered that, while the left side of my ribcage is springy and bouncy in all the ways that it's supposed to be, the whole right side of my ribcage is, for whatever reason, not doing ANY of what it's supposed to do.

If you push on the right side, it doesn't spring back to its original position on its own; it just kind of stays deflated. In fact, it's not expanding properly when I breathe, either, which means that instead of my intercostal muscles and diaphragm doing the work of breathing on the right side of my body, my neck and shoulder is trying to do that work instead, and the result, naturally, is strain in those muscles, which is why they are perpetually tight. My pelvis is also apparently rotated relative to my ribcage, as my body's way of trying to compensate for the fact that the right side of my ribcage is refusing to move or do anything.

Hopefully this might mean that we're one step closer to figuring out what exactly the problem is, and fixing it. Suppose we'll see. It'll be nice to be able to use my right arm again, to laugh, to sing, to yawn, to sneeze, and to breathe deeply and to turn my head without pain. I'm hesitant to get my hopes up, but still… maybe it could work out. Maybe. I'm in a lot of pain all the time, and I'm not able to do any of the things I used to love to do with any kind of consistency, and putting on that bra and that corset belt for the costume (in service to looking the part of someone who is capable of trying to help you) left me messed up for a couple days, and while I tried to put on a brave face so nobody at the convention would know and think I'm weak for it… still… I'm tired and I want this injury, whatever it is, to go away and never come back.

…Sephiroth, I want so badly to return to the water and resume my mermaid training. I'd say you have no idea, but I imagine you might miss eating a nice big bowl of pasta pescatore, or feeling the breeze and the sun and the rain on your skin, and being able to look at trees and mountains and valleys and plains and sky with just as much, if not even more fervor. Hopefully, you'll be able to do all those things again, and more, relatively soon. What I wouldn't give to see you smile and dance, and to hear you laugh and sing. I want that even more than I want the pain in my ribs to stop. If I had the choice between your safety and my own body's healing, then that's an easy one; I'd choose your safety every time, without question.

Well anyway. The ribcage evaluation left me in quite a lot of pain after the fact. I had intended to get some pizza, and maybe some frozen yogurt, and then go home and do the dishes piled up in the sink (it was expected; I was gone from home for a bunch of consecutive days, trying to help you…), but in the end, I was in enough pain that I couldn't do any of those. So instead, I went home and did some leisure writing.

It's J's birthday today. And J isn't really much of a birthday celebration kind of person, but still, he and M and I went out for ice cream, and it was good. I got a soft-serve ice cream flavored with cookie butter (never seen that before!!!), and it was good. M got a pretty standard chocolate ice cream, and that was also good. And J, amongst other things, got a "Northern Lights Sherbet", which was apparently sour apple, blue raspberry, and grape flavored all at once???

Sephiroth. I can tell you from personal experience today that if someone offers you a "Northern Lights Sherbet", it is a TRAP. It tasted as confused, scatterbrained, and incoherent as a poor-quality children's cartoon - if this flavor was a plot, then it was ALL over the place, like its writer could not maintain an attention span for more than 5 consecutive seconds. If the phrase "what the fuck" was a flavor, this would be it.

But apparently, some people like it enough that it's viable to keep its place on the menu???? I can't make pretend like I understand. But I can respect it if other people like it. It's just not for me. I'll count on the people who like it to save me from it if someone decides to torture me by foisting it upon me.

Hey, Sephiroth? I know I've asked you about ice cream flavors you might like. But are there any ice cream flavors that you hate? I'm curious…

Anyhoot. It's getting pretty late, so I think I'll stop writing now and go to bed.

I love you. Please take nice care of yourself, okay? And stay safe out there, too. I'll write again soon…

Your friend, Lumine

[our-arospec-experience]

How do you know if what you’re experiencing is actually romantic attraction or just amatonormativity?

Ive always wanted a romantic relationship. My whole life. I’ve been, frankly, desperate as hell. I was an ugly kid, a weird kid, and all of the “normal” experiences that my peers had growing up completely skipped over me. I wanted a romantic relationship so badly so I’d be like the characters in the books I grew up reading, so I’d prove I was capable of at least one normal thing.

And then a friend told me she liked me, and I panicked and said I liked them too, because right before this id been talking about how desperate I was and it would be so weird to be saying all that and then turn them down when they’d been so nervous to confess to me in the first place. And I’d be lying to say that I hadn’t thought about asking them out, because they’re a good friend and we have a lot in common and they’re kinda bummed out by being perpetually single, too, so it makes sense. Until after that conversation and I’ve suddenly lost all interest in a romantic relationship with not just them but anyone. It used to be something I thought about constantly, but always as a hypothetical. I never actually had anybody in mind. And now that it’s real I… don’t want it.

Obviously I need to tell them that my response was motivated by feeling like I needed a relationship and that it’s not fair to drag them into my identity issues, which will be hard but necessary, but I’m just wondering if maybe it’s more than just not being attracted to them and more like not being attracted to anyone. But I’m also hesitant to say that’s what it is because I’m currently having a whole… time… about queerness generally and considering going back into the closet fully. So.

I hope dropping the whole rant here was okay. But, yeah… how do I tell if maybe I’m actually aro and just looking for validation from romantic relationships, or if this is a one-off thing where I’ve put myself in an awkward situation with a person I’m not attracted to but I do still indeed experience attraction?

Hi anon!

"How do you know if what you’re experiencing is actually romantic attraction or just amatonormativity?"

unfortunately I have literally no idea. I have never had romantic attraction, so I couldn't tell you what it feels like. perhaps ask @askanallo?

"how do I tell if maybe I’m actually aro and just looking for validation from romantic relationships, or if this is a one-off thing where I’ve put myself in an awkward situation with a person I’m not attracted to but I do still indeed experience attraction?"

I suppose the best thing to do would be wait and see? I don't know, I'm not a professional. Can someone else offer some advice? (perhaps if you've been in a similar situation). However, only you can truly decide if you are arospec or not. It all comes down to what feels best for you, and what makes you feel comfortable.

whatever you decide, remember you are valid, and no-one should force you to identify with/do something you are not.

I'm sorry I wasn't able to be more helpful, but perhaps if anyone else has something they would like to add?

[synonymouswithanonymous]

More Thoughts and Body Language thoughts

My thoughts, I like to do commentary. Again I don't ever expect anyone to even read my thoughts. Just throwing them out there. 😊😊😊

This is so Ridiculous, looking at completely normal photos from events where they're posed in front of cameras on the red carpet, and trying to come up with a body language assessment? This is really, really irrational. I mean do people really think from the smallest glimpses imaginable they can fully assess and legit theorize about a person's character and then randomly say they're a narcissist? Again overused and not understood. Based on red carpet photos. Are you freaking kidding me? I mean really what the Hell? You want her to seem bad so badly you take great photos and try to flip them to find a meaning that validates your hate. The face in the third one of a set looks "chilling" to you? Her stopping laughing long enough to do a model pose chills you? This is ludicrous. A normal red carpet photo lol, where they look happy chills you. This is almost as bad as the whole "he's too close to Roberta" clips edited to not show he was actually behind her a bit, talking to another woman to R's right. Other than that looked like regular group photo chaos to me. Bc they wanted the clips to be seen a certain way. They even said that's why they showed them spliced that way. A way that's not exactly truthful, designed to make him look bad. To perpetuate an idea, that you wanted to see tension where there is none. 🙄🙄🤔🤔

Why are people so quick to do a snap judgement on another person based on practically zero information? As if you could read the emotions and intentions of people none of us know, on their face from a few snaps of a camera. or tiny 8 second videos. Well here's an article where people talk about how body language isn't really reliable. Which should be obvious bc we are all different people, not robots programmed to a set of defined movements And behaviours, but I guess it's not obvious. Or they just are really stretching themselves to try to make this woman look bad (they're failing) bc she's living with her boyfriend AHA and close to engagement or already engaged.

"But the idea that body language can be “read” like a book is false. As three researchers on non-verbal communication wrote, “There really isn't such a thing as ‘body language’.”

“There is no scientifically validated dictionary for understanding what people are thinking but not saying, based on their face and body movements,” said Vincent Denault, a postdoctoral fellow in psychology at McGill University who is also the co-founder of the Center for Studies in Nonverbal Communication Sciences at the Research Center of the Montreal Mental Health University Institute."

I'd like to say I not only find hating on an actor's GF, none of us know, to be ridiculous but the methods of hate and manipulating their words/actions to be ridiculous as well.

Do people really believe they're all Sherlock, because they read an article or saw a video about body language? To have such delusion in your own abilities, about people you've never met in real life, isn't that a trait a narcissist would have? Not saying these haters are narcissistic, bc you can't diagnose someone without many hours of in person sessions etc. But it is a trait that's common (one could argue everyone with confidence has some of these common traits, my point is just bc of confidence and one trait, does not a narcissist make). So why judge someone in such a way, when you cannot know?

And is humour dead? Since when is a good diarrhea story a bad move? It's one of the most relatable and embarrassing things humans go through. It's funny, it's humanizing, why are people acting like he's just ruined their pristine view of this very human, human? He's also in some ways downplaying it, a little kid could hear this and think, ok it happened to him it's not so bad. It's nothing to fret over forever. 😊 Or thinking that he's going to regret sharing a funny story of the night of diarrhea? Lol don't ever watch South Park if poop humour isn't for you. 😂😂😂

Why are people still saying he used to be all about privacy before Johanne? He was only ever selectively private. But more private than a lot of celebs. From Twitter love letters to his and Rikke's "first time" I mean come on, he's been naked on a beach with naked Malte and naked ladies, years ago, with a hat covering just his and their private bits. And some people are actually believing he was ever anything more than selectively private? No judgement from me, he sowed his wild oats til he found the right one. Imo. Totally normal. He's a celeb, he's careful with his image. I'm not a fan bc I think he's perfect and deserves a pedestal, but bc he's a good actor, seems like a good person overall, better than most celebs, and he's savvy enough to try to control his public image. Trying to tear him down bc he's in love, is also imo, just rude and the way it's being done is irrational/ridiculous. Just goes to show imo that if that's all you can come up with for either party, body language, irrational theories, lies/manipulations, "privacy", and spliced vids, then your argument doesn't have legs to stand on (especially since his fam/friends have high opinions of her and that holds more weight to me than internet haters) . then again I've always thought they were a normal lovely couple. They're just a couple in love, that started as really good friends, why not be happy that they're happy and found each other? Imo it's great when your lover, is also your really good friend. 😊😊😊

Maybe celebs need this as a t-shirt.

Ahh another long one! 😂😂😂

[fozmeadows]

race & culture in fandom

For the past decade, English language fanwriting culture post the days of LiveJournal and Strikethrough has been hugely shaped by a handful of megafandoms that exploded across AO3 and tumblr – I’m talking Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Dr Who, the MCU, Harry Potter, Star Wars, BBC Sherlock – which have all been overwhelmingly white. I don’t mean in terms of the fans themselves, although whiteness also figures prominently in said fandoms: I mean that the source materials themselves feature very few POC, and the ones who are there tended to be done dirty by the creators.

Periodically, this has led POC in fandom to point out, extremely reasonably, that even where non-white characters do get central roles in various media properties, they’re often overlooked by fandom at large, such that the popular focus stays primarily on the white characters. Sometimes this happened (it was argued) because the POC characters were secondary to begin with and as such attracted less fan devotion (although this has never stopped fandoms from picking a random white gremlin from the background cast and elevating them to the status of Fave); at other times, however, there has been a clear trend of sidelining POC leads in favour of white alternatives (as per Finn, Poe and Rose Tico being edged out in Star Wars shipping by Hux, Kylo and Rey). I mention this, not to demonize individuals whose preferred ships happen to involve white characters, but to point out the collective impact these trends can have on POC in fandom spaces: it’s not bad to ship what you ship, but that doesn’t mean there’s no utility in analysing what’s popular and why through a racial lens.

All this being so, it feels increasingly salient that fanwriting culture as exists right now developed under the influence and in the shadow of these white-dominated fandoms – specifically, the taboo against criticizing or critiquing fics for any reason. Certainly, there’s a hell of a lot of value to Don’t Like, Don’t Read as a general policy, especially when it comes to the darker, kinkier side of ficwriting, and whether the context is professional or recreational, offering someone direct, unsolicited feedback on their writing style is a dick move. But on the flipside, the anti-criticism culture in fanwriting has consistently worked against fans of colour who speak out about racist tropes, fan ignorance and hurtful portrayals of living cultures. Voicing anything negative about works created for free is seen as violating a core rule of ficwriting culture – but as that culture has been foundationally shaped by white fandoms, white characters and, overwhelmingly, white ideas about what’s allowed and what isn’t, we ought to consider that all critical contexts are not created equal.

Right now, the rise of C-drama (and K-drama, and J-drama) fandoms is seeing a surge of white creators – myself included – writing fics for fandoms in which no white people exist, and where the cultural context which informs the canon is different to western norms. Which isn’t to say that no popular fandoms focused on POC have existed before now – K-pop RPF and anime fandoms, for example, have been big for a while. But with the success of The Untamed, more western fans are investing in stories whose plots, references, characterization and settings are so fundamentally rooted in real Chinese history and living Chinese culture that it’s not really possible to write around it. And yet, inevitably, too many in fandom are trying to do just that, treating respect for Chinese culture or an attempt to understand it as optional extras – because surely, fandom shouldn’t feel like work. If you’re writing something for free, on your own time, for your own pleasure, why should anyone else get to demand that you research the subject matter first?

Because it matters, is the short answer. Because race and culture are not made-up things like lightsabers and werewolves that you can alter, mock or misunderstand without the risk of hurting or marginalizing actual real people – and because, quite frankly, we already know that fandom is capable of drawing lines in the sand where it chooses. When Brony culture first reared its head (hah), the online fandom for My Little Pony – which, like the other fandoms we’re discussing here, is overwhelmingly female – was initially welcoming. It felt like progress, that so many straight men could identify with such a feminine show; a potential sign that maybe, we were finally leaving the era of mainstream hypermasculine fandom bullshit behind, at least in this one arena. And then, in pretty much the blink of an eye, things got overwhelmingly bad. Artists drawing hardcorn porn didn’t tag their works as adult, leading to those images flooding the public search results for a children’s show. Women were edged out of their own spaces. Bronies got aggressive, posting harsh, ugly criticism of artists whose gijinka interpretations of the Mane Six as humans were deemed insufficiently fuckable.

The resulting fandom conflict was deeply unpleasant, but in the end, the verdict was laid down loud and clear: if you cannot comport yourself like a decent fucking person – if your base mode of engagement within a fandom is to coopt it from the original audience and declare it newly cool only because you’re into it now; if you do not, at the very least, attempt to understand and respect the original context so as to engage appropriately (in this case, by acknowledging that the media you’re consuming was foundational to many women who were there before you and is still consumed by minors, and tagging your goddamn porn) – then the rest of fandom will treat you like a social biohazard, and rightly so.

Here’s the thing, fellow white people: when it comes to C-drama fandoms and other non-white, non-western properties? We are the Bronies.

Not, I hasten to add, in terms of toxic fuckery – though if we don’t get our collective shit together, I’m not taking that darkest timeline off the table. What I mean is that, by virtue of the whiteminding which, both consciously and unconsciously, has shaped current fan culture, particularly in terms of ficwriting conventions, we’re collectively acting as though we’re the primary audience for narratives that weren’t actually made with us in mind, being hostile dicks to Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans when they take the time to point out what we’re getting wrong. We’re bristling because we’ve conceived of ficwriting as a place wherein No Criticism Occurs without questioning how this culture, while valuable in some respects, also serves to uphold, excuse and perpetuate microaggresions and other forms of racism, lashing out or falling back on passive aggression when POC, quite understandably, talk about how they’re sick and tired of our bullshit.

An analogy: one of the most helpful and important tags on AO3 is the one for homophobia, not just because it allows readers to brace for or opt out of reading content they might find distressing, but because it lets the reader know that the writer knows what homophobia is, and is employing it deliberately. When this concept is tagged, I – like many others – often feel more able to read about it than I do when it crops up in untagged works of commercial fiction, film or TV, because I don’t have to worry that the author thinks what they’re depicting is okay. I can say definitively, “yes, the author knows this is messed up, but has elected to tell a messed up story, a fact that will be obvious to anyone who reads this,” instead of worrying that someone will see a fucked up story blind and think “oh, I guess that’s fine.” The contextual framing matters, is the point – which is why it’s so jarring and unpleasant on those rare occasions when I do stumble on a fic whose author has legitimately mistaken homophobic microaggressions for cute banter. This is why, in a ficwriting culture that otherwise aggressively dislikes criticism, the request to tag for a certain thing – while still sometimes fraught – is generally permitted: it helps everyone to have a good time and to curate their fan experience appropriately.

But when white and/or western fans fail to educate ourselves about race, culture and the history of other countries and proceed to deploy that ignorance in our writing, we’re not tagging for racism as a thing we’ve explored deliberately; we’re just being ignorant at best and hateful at worst, which means fans of colour don’t know to avoid or brace for the content of those works until they get hit in the face with microaggresions and/or outright racism. Instead, the burden is placed on them to navigate a minefield not of their creation: which fans can be trusted to write respectfully? Who, if they make an error, will listen and apologise if the error is explained? Who, if lived experience, personal translations or cultural insights are shared, can be counted on to acknowledge those contributions rather than taking sole credit? Too often, fans of colour are being made to feel like guests in their own house, while white fans act like a tone-policing HOA.

Point being: fandom and ficwriting cultures as they currently exist badly need to confront the implicit acceptance of racism and cultural bias that underlies a lot of community rules about engagement and criticism, and that needs to start with white and western fans. We don’t want to be the new Bronies, guys. We need to do better.  

[void-inked-pen]

Sainon strikes again!!

I grew up with tmnt 2003 so I’m biased too but I did like 2012 when it came out, but I didn’t follow it as much as I did 03

I completely agree with you on Donnie and Mikey’s characterization! I really loathed what they did to Donnie with the whole love triangle thing they wanted to do. I absolutely loved Donnie in 03 but 12 Donnie omfg. I blame a lot of my dislikes of the show on the writing itself bc I don’t think they wrote April very well either it’s odd idk.

I thought Donnie’s crush on April was cute, silly, and funny at first but they kept beating the dead horse with this and then Casey showed up, added to it, and I wanted to scream.

They ALL deserved better but how the writers treated mikey and his canonical adhd was TRASH.

This is just me very personally as well but when I was just a wee child I empathized with 03 raph a lot bc, even tho I never acted on it, I was just constantly filled with rage that’s a lie I swung a computer at my bully’s face when I’d finally had enough. I didn’t like how they treated Raph’s anger in 2012 especially during the episode where they specifically addressed it. Splinter basically just said “bottle it” and like kind of belittled him for letting things get to him. When they were insulting him for the sake for the exercise I think I realized that 12 raph has trouble seeing when people are being serious with their insults (like me lol). Those were his brothers, contextually he should’ve known they didn’t actually mean any of those things but that’s not how he takes it. And if slash SPIKE is anything to go by he actually thinks his brothers think a lot of bad things about him. He doesn’t open up to his brothers because he does not trust them with his emotions that he himself has trouble dealing with/interpreting

On a more positive note: I do love Raph and Mona’s relationship ship, it’s absolutely fantastic

12 Raph likes a woman that can kick his ass and I have to respect that

Writing characters with anger is a difficult slope and is often written badly. As someone who has anger issues but learned how to deal with them over time, when I see a character like 2012 raph, who has trouble handling and understanding his emotions, it both points out the issues and also makes it hard for me as someone who deals with the same thing, relate because it’s often demonized.

Literally half the stuff they wrote in 2012 acted like they wanted to talk about heavy issues but it was written in a way that was almost mocking and demonizing with most of not all the characters. Literally it brought out the worse in everyone of these characters and it drives me nuts

April is the “strong girl who don’t need no man/turtle” but written insufferably, Donnie is the swooning brother who basically is an incel but also a genius who seriously deserves recognition for all he’s done (rest PLS), raph and his anger issues and lack of understanding his own emotions and the perpetuated “I’m tough, don’t feel emotion” manly bullshit, the terrible depiction of Mikey and his ADHD, and I’m not sure they did a very good job or not on PTSD with Leo and his whole focus on being the leader isnt… that great from what I know. And Casey… idk tbh??? He also had some “let me fight for the girl” dumb dumb stuff so he was meh. The love triangle with him and Donnie and April was also dumb because if those three just stopped that shenanigans, can you imagine how great they’d be as a dynamic???

Anyway, ye. There is definitely a lot they could have done better with all of them but I know that is more of a time thing~

Thanks for coming back Sai-Non!!

-pen

[deltaruminations]

:o !!! I don't think I recall seeing an answer for this, did your gaster always have one eye missing/drooping/etc? I'm so curious to learn more about himmm <3

yeah! i went back and forth on this for a while but i think i've settled on it being congenital, partly to make him more immediately readable as a headcanon gaster but also because i think it’s interesting to consider as part of his character. he can only see out of his left eye, the right socket is basically fused at a seam. i see it as one thing among a number of traits that he’s sort of had to learn ways around in order to function relatively "normally" (or at least in the ways he thinks he's supposed to be able to function).

aside from the impacts of disability, it also halves the amount of expression that can be communicated through his eyes, and kind of gives this visual impression that he’s perpetually winking, which i think adds an interesting layer of difficulty to accurate expression of emotion/intent. i think he’s self-conscious about how he looks and worries that it disgusts people.

i got onto some tangents lol but here are some more headcanon character notes. i love talking about this guy so thanks for asking!!!

in my mind a lot of his personal challenges revolve around like, trying to Fit In to a world (both materially and socially constructed) that isn’t really made for him in a lot of ways. it assumes a ton of things that simply can never be true of him — right-handedness, average height, effortless verbalization, abled eyesight and depth perception, unconscious eye contact and facial expressiveness, etc.

not that my gaster is never unconsciously & genuinely expressive — he doesn’t show his heart on his sleeve like papyrus, but he’s not nearly as stiff as sans, either. the difference with sans is that he has natural conversational grace; he’s effortlessly warm, spontaneous, funny. he reads people well and generally has good social intuition. he isn’t necessarily suave or cool so much as he knows how to navigate interpersonally in a way that makes him immensely likable to most people (the fact that he Isn’t suave or cool actually contributes to that— it makes him non-threatening and approachable). sans is generally pretty skilled at manipulating others' perceptions/reception of him.

papyrus, for his part, is constantly missing social cues and acting outside of social scripts, which doesn’t lend itself to… popularity or general likability… but he’s so obviously sincere about who he is and what he’s feeling that he’s still like, intelligible. papyrus’s perspectives are easy to know even if they’re weird as hell in-context. he isn’t great at achieving his desires for likability but he's also willing to be seen (in UT at least, maybe less so in DR) in his imperfect effort.

my gaster is like. weirdness of perspective filtered through a certain amount of learned sociability. he knows how to socialize in theory and understands the value of it, but his social skills aren't intuitive, they take effort, especially verbally, and he has a history of miscalculation, so he tends to either be on a "script" or just like. stalled/processing until he can get back on track lol. and in either case it tends to be hard to get a read on what’s actually happening with him internally. unlike sans or papyrus, he can be quite suave and elegant, but he also lacks their flexibility and fundamental confidence and is just. kind of fragile. like papyrus, he wants to be liked, but unlike papyrus he’s far more motivated by a fear of being disliked. i think he’d rather go unnoticed than risk being perceived badly.

he can loosen up to varying degrees depending on the context (ex. he can be relatively gregarious and even warm when he's in Teacher Mode or with a close friend) but i think the general impression this has on other characters is that he’s aloof, mysterious, unapproachable, even kind of intimidating. he can be charming and pleasant but he doesn't come off as particularly, idk, trustworthy?

like, the dude’s pretty freaking tall, he tends to dress sharply, he’s even fairly handsome, but in a way that's uncanny and feels kind of Wrong. he’s obviously wickedly book-smart and seems high-brow and cultured, like he's never heard a pop song in his life. in casual conversation he’s either silent or delivering stilted academic diction in a low, quiet monotone. he speaks haltingly and deliberately, with weird prosody, and his two main expressions are Blank Stare and Unnerving Smile. his vibes come off as calculating and performative — which is technically true, but not for the reasons others tend to assume. he isn’t thinking about how to one-up them or about how stupid they must be. he’s studying them both out of sincere fascination and to understand social patterns and validate them empirically.

i seem him as the kind of guy who actively enjoys being around people even if he struggles to be involved with them. he’s the guy who will stand awkwardly just outside of a conversation to listen but won’t actually muscle his way into the circle until invited in, and once he's in there he just looks uncomfortable and often has to have conversation dragged out of him when all he really wanted was to observe.

i like to think part of why he’s able to be close friends with alphys is that she meets this stoic-seeming IRL Tumblr Sexyman with an unintelligible uboa face and she’s like "well this guy will never in a million years be interested in me Like That" and any nervous crush impulses she might have had are so completely overridden that she’s just. normal around him. he likes listening and she likes to talk so she infodumps overeagerly about cartoons while he sits there quietly staring with genuine curiosity lol

[helpistolethesecharacters]

Down By The Docks

Bucky Barnes x Male Reader

Word Count: 1810

This is inspired by another request, from an anon this time.

The idea is a '40's AU. I wasn't totally sure if that meant they wanted a story totally set in the 1940's or something that just didn't reference the war, or pretended the war wasn't on/our characters aren't involved in the war, so I just picked one.

Hope this is what you wanted anon!

-------------

Bucky Barnes was one of the best looking fellas Y/n had ever laid eyes on, of that he was sure. It was only his second day working down on the docks, but he was sure he could happily spend the rest of his life working this menial job if the view never changed.

He was always quick with a smile for a pretty dame or even, Y/n had noticed, a particularly handsome fella.

Y/n had thought for sure he had imagined seeing his 'impressing a pretty dame' smile aimed at the bloke who had delivered a sack of letters to the area they were working in.

He would have written it off as the heat getting to him if not for that very same smile being directed his way later that day while they were all sitting around eating their lunches.

None of the other's seemed to have picked up Bucky's brazen flirting with both genders, or maybe they just didn't care. That last one seemed pretty unlikely though.

Y/n just hiked up a brow at Bucky the second time he shot him that pretty smile. He had no idea what to do with that. It couldn't be helped that it was illegal to be that way, that was just the way of the world.

--------------

Y/n was sure that Bucky was trying to kill him.

He had shown up to work wearing his standard work wear. Just the worn whites and browns of clothes that had been washed too many times but that you couldn't afford to throw out yet.

It just wasn't fair that the day was particularly warm, so everyone had ended up stripped down to their pants. All those half naked male bodies glimmering with sweat, the noises they made unconsciously as they lifted boxes full of cargo and moved them to where they needed to go.

And right there, in the middle of it all, Bucky Barnes. Poor Y/n had ended up being sent home from being 'affected by the sun'. It wasn't his fault dammit, Bucky had been parading around looking good enough to eat. Y/n was ashamed to find himself literally walking into poles and walls in his preoccupation with the half naked Bucky.

----------

Y/n sighed in relief. Tonight was going to be blessedly free of one Bucky Barnes, perpetual thorn in his gay side.

He was going out to a bar. It was an open secret that this particular bar was a gay bar. The cops in that area were happy to turn a blind eye to it largely because several of them were known regulars there.

That didn't mean you could just go about talking about it, or anything that went on inside it while you weren't there.

It was still illegal after all.

Y/n leaned back into his booth and sighed happily. A nice drink, some eye candy that wouldn't beat the crap out of him just for giving them the eye, and a little dancing ought to make his worries just float away.

Y/n had been looking forward to this all week.

Damn Barnes to hell and back.

Y/n moved over to the bar to order himself something silly. He was feeling the need for some ridiculousness tonight.

He had just taken his first sip of his drink when he spotted him. There he was, standing by the bar just a little ways down from Y/n, seemingly ordering a drink.

Y/n tried valiantly to not spit his mouthful of booze all over the bar. He had paid good money for that drink and he would be damned if he wasted it.

It didn't work very well. Some of it ended up coming out of his nose, and as he hacked up the parts of it that went down the wrong pipe to choke him, the rest dribbled down his chin.

'Well, that was attractive,' Y/n thought drily.

"Oh gosh, are you alright? Here, let me help."

Y/n turned watering eyes on the man addressing him.

He was met with a short blond who looked like a stiff wind could knock him over if he wasn't careful.

He was holding out a handkerchief and looking unsure of himself.

Y/n went to reassure the stranger that he was fine, but some small remaining part of the drink that hadn't been attempting to kill him before chose that moment to do so. Instead of words, he could only hack and cough, trying to get the liquid out of his lungs.

Y/n felt a hand on his back moving in firm circles, trying to help. He looked back over at the man to find him at his side frowning as he rubbed at Y/n's back.

When Y/n could finally speak properly he took the handkerchief, which had once again been offered, to clean his face of tears and spit and snot.

'Who'd have thought that alcohol burned so badly going into a person's nose and lungs?' Y/n thought disgustedly.

When he had cleaned himself up properly and turned back to his savior he suddenly realised he had no idea how to make this situation any less awkward.

The other man apparently had no such reservations.

"I'm Steve by the way. That looked pretty painful. Are you okay now?"

He was so earnest, and it didn't look like he was laughing at Y/n at all, so he could only nod vaguely.

"Yeah, I was just surprised by something. I'm Y/n, just so you know."

Y/n paused, feeling every bit as awkward as he ever had.

"Um, after that bit of excitement, I think I'm gonna call it a night. Murderous drinks aside it was nice meeting you. Can I clean this and bring it back here some time for you Steve?"

Y/n held up the thoroughly soaked handkerchief, cringing internally.

"Oh, don't worry about it, but are you sure you don't want to stay for a little bit longer? I'm here with my friend, but he's never very good company when there's dancing and alcohol involved."

Y/n mulled it over for a second, before manners kicked in.

"Yeah, no worries. I could stay for a bit longer, if only to save you from a lonely evening."

Steve's smile was sweet, but Y/n also couldn't detect anything else behind it. It didn't seem like he was trying to hit on Y/n, just that he didn't want to spend the night alone while his 'friend' danced the night away.

Y/n followed behind Steve as he led him over to the booth that Y/n had originally been sitting in.

Y/n stopped still at the sight of who was sitting across from Steve. Bucky dang-it-all-to-heck Barnes.

At their approach, Bucky turned away from the two women sitting with him in the booth. His handsome face lit up when he registered who it was standing in front of him.

"Stevie, there you are. I was starting to think you ditched me earlier than ever, but look what you found. I should bring you here more often."

Steve just gave Bucky a blank look.

Y/n couldn't blame him. If his 'good friend' had taken him out for a night of fun, he wouldn't have appreciated him looking at other guys that way either. He wasn't exactly backward in letting people know he was interested from the sounds of it.

Y/n stood awkwardly by the booth, not really sure if he should still be there. He had followed Steve to keep him company, but if it were him in Steve's shoes right now, he'd want him to leave.

"Um, I think I should probably head off actually."

Steve turned back to Y/n looking confused.

"Oh, well if you're sure. You don't have to stay if you don't want to of course."

Y/n refused to acknowledge the fact that Bucky was honest to goodness pouting. Was there anything in this world that was fair?

"Well, at least let me walk you out."

There would be no arguing apparently, as Bucky was already out of his seat and herding Y/n to the door.

"It was nice meeting you!" Y/n barely managed to turn to yell to Steve as he was pulled away by the ever insistent Bucky.

Once they made it outside Bucky paused and turned to face Y/n.

"Hey."

Y/n turned to face him.

"Gotta say, I'm gettin' a bit confused here."

Y/n frowned but stayed silent.

"When we met at work I thought you were pretty cute, but you don't hit on people down by the docks if you wanna live to see the next sunrise, you know? But then you were always starin' an I thought, maybe you mighta been interested. Then that day you kept walkin' into things happened and I was pretty dang sure you were."

Y/n was blushing by now.

'Great so he did notice.'

"But then I see you here."

Bucky had moved closer and lowered his voice, speaking softer.

"An, no offense to Stevie, but he's not exactly every guys dream-boat. You know, I don't even think he knows this is a gay bar."

He broke off here to chuckle quietly. He was standing so close, he was practically pressing Y/n up against the wall of the bar.

"But then you're actin' all stand-offish. Like you can't even bare to look at me. So, what's a guy to think?"

Bucky seems to realise how this might be coming across and pulls away to give Y/n some room.

"Do I got a shot with you Y/n?"

Y/n had been floating somewhere dreamy with Bucky pressed up so close to him, but when he pulled away, reality came crashing down. How dare he ask questions like that when Steve was in there waiting for him to get back?

"You got some nerve Barnes. You can't just ask anyone out. Not when you got a fantastic guy like that waiting for you in there!"

"Fantastic guy? What-"

Y/n cut him off before he could sweet talk his way out of this.

"Steve! He's sweet, and kind and probably way too good for someone who flirts with everyone on the block!"

Bucky was laughing, which Y/n thought was way out of line.

"Wha, Y/n, Steve's just a friend. He don't even swing that way."

Y/n's face lit up with the brightest blush he had ever felt. He was sure he was going to actually self-combust before long.

"Oh."

"Yeah. So is that why you looked at me like that?"

He moved closer again, and when he spoke that damned silver tongue was back.

"I would never. When I'm with someone, they're the most important person in the world to me. Besides, how could I ever look my ma in the face again if I treated my partner like that?"

Y/n blushed fiercely.

"So whaddya say? Give me a shot?"

Y/n could only nod, face still a brilliant red.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I don't want to lament Fitzmartin's poor writing too much, but literally the interview with her in today's issue makes it seem like she thinks Tim discovered Batman's identity because he was looking to be Robin??

(Not to mention she seems to have those mainstream fandom ideas with Tim stuck as a perpetual teenager)

I know it's a small detail, but after her writing full of inaccuracies and errors in YJ, I can't expect much of her writing on a character who doesn't even know his origin correctly.

Sorry I got very long-winded since I haven't been on Tumblr much for months now.

A.K.A. in my months away I still haven't found a way to be quick about my thoughts, because I keep overthinking things. Yipee, yipee. Howdy-Hi-Hi-Ho.

--

Oh she entirely doesn't really get Tim as a character. She doesn't even get Bernard as a character. Not even Steph who she shoved into Robin Eternal upon her own desire.

She shows some superficial knowledge on Tim, but I think she's quickly shown that she really doesn't know what she's even talking about. Which is scary for any fan, who has to see their fav subjected to that kind of writer.

People stuck on Tim being a teenager for so long also numb me. Because he was 17, yeah, I think you know this at least, reboot happened, everyone's deaged besides the younger characters who wouldnt even be involved if they were any younger. So he's younger. I don't think it's this complicated or that important that he's a teenager anyways. If anything I think he might be more boring, because he’d just be stuck redoing stuff Dick has done. If they even choose to give him a personal life that consists of anyone more than one or two people.

The whole age thing, it's an issue made up, just to complain about something. And people will keep echoing it because they don't have an opinion of their own, or they assume there's merit to it, when really I don't think there is.

There's a difference between 'I want this' and 'This is an actual issue with the writing'.

But anyways, when I read an interview, she essentially just kept going "OH HE'S THE SMARTEST ONE, HE FIGURED THIS OUT, AND HE'S A DETECTIVE AND blah blah blah."

Super super thin, stuff. Like a piece of computer paper would look thick in comparison. It is worrying to me that that's what she's chosen to say.

And don't misread why I'm saying this, I'm not wanting to be harsh or anything of course, I have nothing against Fitzmartin as a person, I do not know her as a person. I only know her as a writer, so I can only talk about how she comes across through her writing. And all I can do is talk about the vibes, also because I don't know her. I likely don't need to specify that, because most people get that, but you'd be surprised and all that.

But if that's why she think Tim Drake's great, ignoring the part where she doesn't know what Tim's origin was to begin with, by itself it just that focus on his intelligence already shows she does not honestly understand him as a character.

That's the same kind of stuff that a person who doesn't really know much about Tim, but has heard stuff would spew about Tim Drake.

People really overestimate how important Tim's brain is so badly in my opinion.

He's a freaking idiot at times.

I can't even think of any classic Tim stories (As in 90s. The main Red Robin story highlighted it, but I don't like Red Robin so meh meh meh and hehehehe) that involve his detective skills with such a highlight to them. His grounded nature, and insecurity, and strain with his personal life was the focus. He was still a great detective, there were still plenty of stories focused on it. But there aren't many were it's treated as his best characteristic.

I don't care about what Tim is good at compared to who Tim is as a person.

If you think someone's skills are their most important aspect, I am IMMEDIATLY worried about that hypothetical person's capability as a writer. That is so dry. So damn dry.

I'd rather read a comic that understands Tim as a character, that never has a detective story in it, than read a comic that just focuses on how smart they believe Tim to be.

I'd even rather read a comic that treats Tim as mostly incapable and needs help all the time, over Tim's personality being misrepresented, because of people just pasting their desires over top of him.

Much the same way I'd expect any fan of Jason to freak out if his latest hypothetical writer started going "OH HE'S SUCH A GOOD AIM. AND TALENT WITH WEAPONS. DOING STUFF THAT THE BAT'S DON'T DO", because that's such a narrow, superficial analysis of a character study, that I can hear the canned in studio audience laughter, because its so ridiculous.

My expectations for the Tim Robin solo are incredibly low. They instantly went super low when I saw panels from the added Sum of Our Parts epilogue. But it's only gotten smaller. Like an atom couldn't see my expectations, because it's so insanely tiny. Tinier than Tim is even, just to really remark on how small my expectations are, because you know that's serious.

It seems like Fitzmartin doesn't know Tim found out who Batman was when he was 9, by noticing details almost by happenstance that he even remembered the Flying Graysons at all, going off of how she worded it. And I add that last part, because maybe she was describing two different things and put it together awkwardly closely. Not to get into semantics and what not. It's simply that, that is possible.

And I presume she has no idea that the first crime mystery Tim tried to solve, he completely got the answer wrong and would've sent an innocent man to jail as well. Since she has such a focus on his intelligence and detective skills.

She also doesn't seem to know that he asked DICK TO BE ROBIN, which is incredibly important detail, because it really highlights the humbleness the original Tim has at his true heart.

In fairness she seems to try to be saying Tim has integrity, but without knowing the level of it, you can still easily get a total different character out of there.

You think Tim automatically tried to be Robin, whether when he found out, or after Jason died, and you automatically can get the character very wrong. It is a very important distinction for him and how he feels about himself and the role he eventually signed up for.

But also within Dark Crisis Young Justice, it appears she doesn't know Tim doesn't want to be Batman, except--some other time it seemed like she sort of knew? I don't know if it's weird writing or what. And overall just ugh anyways. Tim shouldn't be in contention to be Batman, simply because he doesn't want to be. I don't know why this is such a focus. Tim shouldn't be in that discussion.

It is very lazy drama.

The Bat-Family when written well aren't robots that are pre-programmed with this idea that oh they all must want to be Batman, because I certainly know Tim didn't want to be. Marv Wolfman has said that in several interviews I'm sure. At least one. These characters are supposed to be written like real people. That's how you get invested. It's hard to get invested in lazy, ham-fisted, forced drama, that doesn't happen anywhere organically.

I'd rather someone think Tim is an idiot and get the rest of his personality perfect. Because I think the second someone focuses on his brain, they always tend to get Tim wrong.

Hardly anyone that liked Tim back when he was an actually successful character liked him specifically because he was smart. I'm sure it was an aspect at times, but I'm almost positive for the majority of people that was hardly the main reason.

They liked him because he was a small-fry, underdog, that didn't always make the right decisions, but still got up by the seat of his tights and tried again. They liked that he was empathetic, and a genuinely good soul, and a freaking geek, that had some really socially awkward moments, with a good assortment of insecurity they could relate to.

Ignoring the times Dixon made Tim come off like a middle aged grump, because Dixon himself is a middle aged grump anyways.

Sum of Our Parts, I think was a fluke, just made good because she actually read some classic Tim comics before writing it. So it came out extra good. Because Robin Eternals, and the added epilogue made the year after the original release for Sum of Our Parts, as well as Dark Crisis Young Justice have all been super thin, kind of embarrassing reads. That read like something I'd see on AO3, but nothing that has many views or anything, because it isn't that good. But maybe like, some curiosity reads, y'know?

The constant focus she brings on "I NEED TO BREAK OUT ON MY OWN" with Tim I think also, is a very worrying sign.

Because it reads to me, that we shouldn't expect a Tim comic that actually represents Tim well as a character.

I want to read about a comic that uses Tim as himself, and finds interesting situations to put him in that elevate his character. Not stuff to make excuses to mold him into what ever they want.

That's why I can't read anymore Batman comics, because it seems to be all anyone ever does. I'm not attached to the character's names, I got attached to who they are. Being a somewhat funny moment isn't going to make me enjoy it, or if it's cute. If it's going to be funny or cute, I want it to be because the character would naturally do that. I don't want cheap, easily made garbage, made with very little imagination or creativity.

Seriously, I don't want to read a character that's going to be different writer from writer. I'd like to read a character that changes naturally, not just because some writer or editorial dunce at random decided "I'D RATHER THIS HAPPEN". Good writing doesn't come from that mindset, and it's lazy.

So often with Tim I think I hear a writer in some way, whether outright saying it, or implying it, with "OH TIM WANTS--" it's always just what they want to write or were told to write, nothing that I've actually seen come from something that's a natural continuation of anything. Like it's just something they or someone pulled out of their ass.

With Tim's new Robin series I think we should be more so expecting a comic where Fitzmartin is going to put her desires in it. The same way she shoved her message in Young Justice, when Young Justice wasn't the comic to put it in. Or have Tim, Steph, and Bernard all get along, in the most fan ficcy way, possibly possible.

If I hear about it being a surprise joy I'll dive into it, but at the moment, I'm not keen to read a series written by someone who has done nothing but show she has no idea what she's writing, and is more focused on the superficial trait of his brain that's she's painfully exaggerating already, and the fact she made him live on a boat.

She wrote Tim to have a coffee addiction.

And I've seen people complain "UGH WHY DO PEOPLE HATE THAT SO MUCH".

It's because it shows she doesn't give a single fuck about taking any care into writing him, if she's just going to steal fandom ideas that came from no where, and put them into her comics.

That's a painful sign of a crummy writer, doing stuff just because they might get a pleasant reaction from a section of the fan base. And again, it's super fucking lazy.

The same way Tom Taylor will constantly write stuff, that isn't even good, but he knows it'll get a sort of "YAAAY" reaction. It's corny it's lame, it's uncreative, and you're probably not going to get very good character writing, when most people read about a certain character to get that character.

Like I still don't fucking care Tim and Dick were on a train again. Yes, I remember they were on a train once in an issue, I actually loved that issue besides a few sentences, but they already used it for lazy, crummy fan service in one thing, I don't need it done again. I want new stories where they do something fun that feels like a them thing.

I'd rather see them eating chili dogs at a racecar event or something, to show that they hang out often doing something they'd do. That's the joy of seeing these characters come together. You want to see them do something new to make paying for some new worth it. Something that makes you like this character specifically or this pairing specifically, because it's such a them thing, not a random generic thing that may not even fit. Doing something so lazy makes me feel nothing. I'm not going to make myself act like I care about something because it referenced a thing I like. I'm not that desperate.

Basically in long-form writing, what I'm saying is, there are so many signs that Tim's first ongoing Robin solo in over 20 years is going to suck ass, and it is a major sadness, and pain in the ass, because I really love Tim, but he seems to never get a break. And I'm not going to force myself to like anything anymore, just because I hoped for something, when I'm not actually getting it. Though I don't remember the last time I've done that anyhow.

As much as I hated the 'Drake' thing, and the TimSteph crap in Bendis' Young Justice, Bendis still understood at least enough of the basics about Tim for me to be happy most of the time (Even if ultimately I wasn't because boy did that TimSteph and 'Drake' stuff suck tremendously). Bendis knew that he was a friendly, helpful kid, that had a positive mind-set, the way Wolfman intended. It was such a breath of fresh air after James Tynion IV seemingly had Tim confused with Ultimate Reed Richards in the way he approached writing him.

I'm sure Fitzmartin was probably saying "Killed our childhood" in some relation to something like that. But I really don't think asking for basic quality assurance is the same thing. Like I didn't even grow up with Tim to fucking begin with anyways. Like for fucks sake, that's such a strawman argument.

I just want some freaking quality once in a while. I haven't even read new comics in ages past two freaking issues of Batman 'cause quality is so hard to come by. Even Spider-Man currently sucks from what I hear.

Bendis was at least someone who understood how Tim would act MOST OF THE TIME, even if he'd slip in some awful awful flaws. Like what kind of language he'd used, what his actual relationship with Steph was like, and I'm still pretty sure he was forced into that 'Drake' stuff since he still had people call Tim Robin anyways, and even sometimes just making him the generic leader because he put far too many characters into one comic for a spell there.

I'm not here trying to act like Bendis was perfect, but I am trying to say, that things just don't seem to be getting any better for Tim.

I love that he's Robin again. I don't really care about the people that act like every Robin has to be the same about getting a new role, like they're robots that have that made-up rule programmed into them. I'm a thinking human being. I can come up with my own view on things. But past him being Robin again, which happened 2 years ago now I think, I can't think of many positive things about him lately.

Because if I have to read another comic that's trying really hard to pretend it knows what it's talking about with stuff that I love, I am going to hate it.

I don't think I ask for as much as some people act like. Like seriously, asking for a character to stop being treated like a piece of clay so they can be focused and themselves again isn't that much of an ask.

I don't give a shit if they get a few minor things wrong. I just want it to mostly be right. But for some reason it's really difficult to get even that.

[plan-d-to-i]

(google translate again, yeah)

(I forgot to thank you for the last answer, I really didn't know that the drama used the music of my compatriot, it was a pleasant surprise for me)

I don't know if anyone has asked you this before, but do you think JC was good with WWX as a kid?

I mean not just their childhood, but the time of their training in Gusu.

I really love JC, and I understand perfectly well that he is the most dick in character, but I love him precisely during my studies at Gusu, I can not give any arguments that then JC was directly GOOD to WWX, but he is clearly cared a little about him and even ... worried? at least that moment after the punishment where JC helped WWX get to the room...

Yay - I'm so happy to hear about Stravinsky :)

Hahah loving jc as the dick that he is is the way to do it! go for it. :) also, sorry this was so delayed I wanted to reread the Cloud Recesses arc so it would be fresh in my mind before answering.

In terms of jc the Cloud Recesses arc is perhaps the most 'mellow' we see him aside from the Lotus Pod Extra but for me it's still impossible to find him a worthwhile person. I can already see the faults in his character that I know will only get worse as he grows older. Canonically I don't see how he would have any friends studying in the Cloud Recesses if he didn't come as a package deal w Wei Wuxian. I mean I doubt jiang cheng would have any friends without WWX period. In fact jiang cheng doesn't make any friends over the course of 13 years. He's also unable to find a wife bc of his temperament and behavior...

What we can glean about their relationship in the Cloud Recesses arc (and even the Lotus Pod Extra) is that any time WWX gets a kind word or understanding from someone, jiang cheng scoffs at it. Any time someone shits on WWX, jc is there to agree, to relish the idea of WWX being punished, and shit on him some more. He would be an immensely exhausting person to be around. He doesnt believe in WWX's ideas and ingenuity, (as NHS does for example), he doesn't believe WWX is hurt, he always assumes the worst of him, he doesn't believe LWJ might like WWX. The only thing he ever seems to believe is that WWX will dishonor YunmengJiang and that WWX should be punished. So for a kid who supposedly wants his father's approval so badly he instead constantly acts like his mother's mouthpiece/minion. He reprimands WWX like he's trying to become Madam Yu 2.0. I see jc stans all the time being like oh he had to keep WWX in check bc WWX was such a lOOooose canon, for the good of the Clan!! lol listen JFM didn't give a f...about WWX's behavior (in his letter to LQR) why are you so concerned? JFM would have preferred for jc to try & save his peers in the Xuanwu cave or at least to understand why that was the correct course of action rather than for him to just sit in front of the class in the Cloud Recesses and tell WWX off for giving LQR as good as he got, while actually still breaking the rules himself but eschewing punishment.

salt up here, quotes below :

Even when Nie Huaisang picks up on the fact that WWX is being treated unfairly by LQR, jc dismisses it and piles on WWX instead.

Nie Huaisang said, “Old Man Lan really seems like he’s coming down especially harshly on you. Every time he reprimands someone, it’s always you.” Jiang Cheng grunted. “He deserves it. What kind of answer was that? He can get away with saying that sort of nonsense at home, but he had the nerve to say it to Lan Qiren’s face. He was practically asking for the old man to kill him!”

But does WWX get away with ANYTHING in Lotus Pier? When we know he is punished constantly for EVERYTHING? This is jiang cheng fully being his mother's mouth piece. It's not something WWX would get away with, it's something jc knows JFM wouldn't mind. Which is why he's so pissed off. Which begs the question if JFM would not be upset with WWX's behavior why does jc need to criticize him? Again :

A dark expression shadowed Jiang Cheng’s face, and his voice was filled with anger. “Why are you so proud of yourself? What is there to be proud of?! Is being told to get out some amazing accomplishment? You’re making our entire clan lose face!”

and his glee at the idea that WWX will be punished leaves a bad taste in one's mouth considering how WWX was perpetually punished in Lotus Pier by jiang cheng's mother for... existing.

Jiang Cheng smiled grimly. “Now that you’ve thoroughly offended both Lan Wangji and Lan Qiren, you’re basically dead tomorrow. No one’s going to clean up your corpse either.”

and again

Without the old one, only the young one remained. This would be easy to deal with! Wei Wuxian rolled off the bed and laughed while putting on his boots. “Heaven’s charmed clouds are blessing me with shade.” Jiang Cheng was beside him polishing his sword with loving care when he decided to spill cold water over Wei Wuxian’s head. “Just wait until he gets back. You can’t escape punishment.”

Where others like NHS see value in WWX's thoughts

Nie Huaisang thought for a while. “Actually, I thought what you said was very interesting,” he said, not entirely able to hide his envy and yearning.

jc is always dismissive of WWX's ideas. These are inventions that WWX realizes. Demonic cultivation in the first conversation and The Spirit-Attraction Flag and The Compass of Evil in the second:

“Enough,” Jiang Cheng warned. “Whatever nonsense you spout, you better not head down that sort of dark road.”

-

Changing the topic, Wei Wuxian said, “If only there was something like fishing bait that could draw the water ghosts in. Or, something that could point in the direction they’re hiding, like a compass, that sort of thing.”

“Lower your head and watch the water,” Jiang Cheng said. “You’re letting your fantasies run wild again. Concentrate on looking for water ghosts like you’re supposed to.”

“Hey, mounting swords and flying was also only a fantasy once!” Wei Wuxian said.

He's also a hypocrite. Because even though he berates WWX for misbehaving, he himself breaks the rules. He drinks, he even goads WWX into buying liquor, the only difference is that he doesn't get punished for it, and he doesn't feel like coming forward and getting punished for it :

Naturally, Jiang Cheng was too embarrassed to talk about what Wei Wuxian had been up to. After all, all of them had egged him on to go and buy alcohol, and they all deserved to be punished as well. He could only speak vaguely. “It’s nothing. It’s nothing. It’s not that bad! He can walk. Wei Wuxian, why haven’t you gotten off yet?”

It's no wonder WWX is so impressed by LWJ's integrity in spite of his social status, when he's clearly used to the other dynamic :

“Lan Zhan, I really admire you,” Wei Wuxian said sincerely. “After I told you that you had to punish yourself too, you actually did it. You didn’t let yourself off at all. I can’t argue against that.”

A dynamic which is shown repeating in the Lotus Pod Extra where WWX is the only one to get punished for sunbathing, and which repeats here when Wei Wuxian here stops jiang cheng from confronting Zixuan over YanLi's honor (and jc's) and does it himself.

Zixuan :“Why don’t you ask what about her could make me satisfied?” he said in return.

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng rose. Wei Wuxian pushed him away and stepped between them, smiling coldly. “You think you’re very satisfactory? As though you have the right to be so picky!”

Zixuan: “If she’s unhappy, then let her break off the engagement! I certainly don’t cherish your wonderful disciple-sister. If you cherish her so much, why don’t you take it up with your father? Doesn’t he love you more than his own son?”

After hearing the last sentence, Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed, and Wei Wuxian was no longer able to contain his own fury. He flew at Jin Zixuan, his fist raised.

WWX takes the punishment alone. Same way he offers to do when he hurts himself falling from a tree because jc threatened him with dogs. meanwhile jc is gleeful to see him being punished.

[Wei Wuxian] was kneeling on the stretch of pebble road to which Lan Qiren had assigned him when Jiang Cheng walked over from afar and mocked him. “You’re kneeling so obediently.”

“It’s not like you don’t know I have to do this all the time.” Wei Wuxian’s voice filled with schadenfreude. “But this Jin Zixuan guy, there’s no way he hasn’t been pampered and spoiled rotten since birth. No one’s ever forced him to kneel, I’m sure of it. If he doesn’t wind up crying for mommy and daddy today, I’m not named Wei.”....

Wei Wuxian "...It’s a good thing you didn’t do anything.”

“I was going to. If you hadn’t pushed me away, the other side of Jin Zixuan’s face would be hideous too.”

“Stop it. His face is uglier for being lopsided."

WWX is happy to have spared jc from getting into trouble but jc makes the whole thing about himself anyway (like everything else ever) and is upset JFM would rush over for WWX - in his mind. Even though JFM clearly had to rush over to meet with Jin Guangshan not to coddle WWX in any way.

"Jiang Fengmian had never rushed to another clan in less than a day because of him. Regardless of whether what happened was big or small, or good or bad." Never

WWX on the other hand tries to be observant of jc's feelings and reassure him & distract him from his moods :

When Wei Wuxian saw Jiang Cheng’s melancholy expression, he thought he was still upset with what Jin Zixuan said. “You should leave. You don’t need to keep me company any longer. If Lan Wangji comes again, he’ll catch you. If you have time, you should find Jin Zixuan and watch his pitiful kneeling.”

Later in the book after nearly dying in the Xuanwu cave WWX leaves his sick bed to run after jc and comfort him after his mother's rant, even though WWX had to listen to his parents (and himself) being slandered by YZY. jc doesn't spare any thoughts for how other people might be feeling or suffering. His entire perception of the world is centered around himself. To him even WWX's greatest fear doesn't generate empathy, only amusement or later on a form of torture.

From that point onward, they made trouble everywhere together, and if they encountered a dog, Jiang Cheng would always chase it away for him, then enjoy a peal of derisive, unbridled laughter at Wei Wuxian’s expense beneath whichever tree the boy had leapt atop.

he grew up on the streets, often having to fight for food with vicious dogs. After several bites and chases, he gradually became extremely scared of all dogs, no matter the size. Jiang Cheng laughed at him because of this quite a lot of times.

This brings me to the last point. jc's resentment of WWX's interest in Lan Zhan, or in a serious friendship outside of him. I see so many ppl say that bc WWX fought he was kicked out of the Cloud Recesses early... but was he?

Jiang Cheng was somewhat taken aback. “Lan Wangji? What was he doing here? He still has the nerve to come see you again?”

“Yeah, I think his bravery is laudable if he still has the nerve to come see me. His uncle probably told him to check on me and see if I was kneeling properly.”

Jiang Cheng’s instincts were sending him ominous signals. “So were you kneeling properly?”

“I was then,” Wei Wuxian replied. “But I waited for him to walk away a bit, then took a tree branch, lowered my head, and dug out a hole in the dirt near me. It’s the pile right by your foot—there are ant tunnels there. It took me so much effort to find them. Anyway, I waited for him to turn back and see my shoulders shaking. He had to have thought I was crying, so he came back and asked. You should have seen his face when he caught sight of the ant tunnels!

“…” Jiang Cheng said, “Why don’t you just get the hell out and go back to Yunmeng? I bet he never wants to see you again.”

Thus, that evening, Wei Wuxian packed up his things, got the hell out, and went back to Yunmeng with Jiang Fengmian.

Repeatedly throught his stay in the Cloud Recesses even while NHS was observing that LWJ's behavior around WWX was strange and unique, jc was telling WWX he is hated and bothersome. When WWX wanted to apologize to LWJ jc is completely dismissive of it :

“He hates me already? I was thinking of apologizing to him,” Wei Wuxian said.

“Oh, so you want to apologize now? It’s too late!” Jiang Cheng said derisively. “He’s exactly like his uncle. He thinks you’ve been wicked ever since you were an embryo, so it’s beneath his dignity to pay you any attention.”

Later on when WWX mentioned wanting to invite LWJ to Lotus Pier jc categorically says no.

“Jiang Cheng had on a stern expression, “Let’s make this clear. I don’t want him to come, anyhow. Don’t invite him.”

BONUS

jc also always doubts WWX. He suspects him immediately of wrongdoings. He doesn't believe that getting hit with the discipline ruler in Cloud Recesses actually hurt him until LXC confirms that WWX might take more than a few days to heal. He doesn't understand WWX is in actual trouble from the Waterborne abyss and assumes he's fooling around luckily Lan Zhan is there to rescue him:

The disciple’s lower body had already been swallowed by the black whirlpool. It spun faster and faster, and he continued to sink deeper and deeper, as though something hidden beneath the water was pulling down on his legs.

Mounted on Sandu, Jiang Cheng had risen calmly until he was about sixty meters above the whirlpool before he looked down. Filled with displeasure at what he saw, he shouted and dove down. “What are you up to now?!”

The suction force inside Lake Biling grew ever stronger. Wei Wuxian’s sword was optimized for agility, and consequently, its strength happened to fall just short, and they were nearly pulled to the surface of the lake. Wei Wuxian steadied himself and held on to Su She with both hands.

“Someone help! If I can’t pull him up soon, I’ll have to let go!” he shouted.

Suddenly, the back of Wei Wuxian’s collar tightened, and his body was lifted into the air. He twisted his neck and saw Lan Wangji holding him up with one hand.

He maintains this same mindset when he tries to whip LWJ and WWX as they're attempting to leave Lotus Pier after the ancestral hall confrontation when WWX passes out.

Is jc evil in the Cloud Recesses ? No. He's just an annoying, basic, disagreeable asshole who doesn't bring anything positive to someone like WWX. People like jc become obsessed with kind, outgoing, generous people, people who don't set boundaries on what they give and what others take in their friendships. Even though they're dependent on them for their social interactions, because who else would socialize with them willingly, they resent them in equal measure, but at the same time they wouldn't be drawn to another selfish, self centered piece of shit person like themselves.

On a personal note, even Cloud Recesses jiang cheng is someone I would exclude from any personal friend group. Friendship with him is adding a minefield of jealousies and snide comments to every interaction. Things that then others will need to compensate around because he won't compromise or empathize w issues outside of his own concerns.

Translation source : x

[rayshippouuchiha]

Sakura is such a terribly written character, honestly she could have been replaced by anyone who had some medical knowledge and it would have been the same

And people are like "But it's Kishi that doesn't know how to write female characters, Sakura is better than that!"

And I'm always like "No?? Absolutely fucking not she isn't???" The fact that Kishi wrote her badly doesn't mean she's 'better than that' or whatever bullshit. That's canon. She may be written poorly but IT. IS. CANON.

Can we also talk about how Sakura acts towards Sasuke? She tries over and over again to push her love onto him, pestering him continuously even when he makes it clear that he's not interested, that he doesn't see her in that light. She follows him, refuses to let it go, begs him to take her with him, when she thinks that she'll never be able to 'save' him she tries to kill him

Now take all that and flip it around. A man doing this to a woman. People would have flipped their shit completely, screaming stalker and toxic and abusive and whoever knows what else

But no. Sakura is a girl, so she gets to pass with that kind of behavior because apparently a woman doing this to a man is not as bad as the other way around

And listen, I like fanon Sakura, but canon Sakura? I would blast her to the fucking moon right this moment, no questions asked

This is hands down a situation that happens with a number of characters in other fandoms too.

The creator writes the character one way, fandom takes over, fans begin to lose the ability to understand what is and is not canon, what is and is not directly implied by canon, and what is and is not pure fanon.

From there a good portion refuses to understand when it's acceptable and/or necessary to draw those lines. The argument becomes a blanket "if you don't like this character you either don't understand them or you xyz-phobic" instead of acknowledging the fact that the issue is both more complicated than either of those points and, at the same time, often much simpler.

And it perpetuates a cycle of discourse and hate on both sides for people who do and do not enjoy that character.

Naruto falls into a particularly bad trap of there being such a lack of well-written female characters that when you express dislike or criticism for the few that are more fleshed out it instantly becomes an issue of misogyny no matter your reasons.

I've seen so many posts/tiktoks/etc that are like "anime red flag: if they don't like Sakura something's wrong there" and I'm like "or, hot take here, maybe I just don't vibe with her canon characterization and that's just my opinion? My dislike of something does not and should not dictate your enjoyment of it and it does not always speak to some deeper truth about me as a person?"

I mean I don't like mushrooms either but it's not because a mushroom fucked my non-existent wife once in the past or because I'm fungi-phobic. I just don't like them, they don't taste good to me. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy them, it just means I'm not gonna order them and I don't want you shoving them onto my fucking plate if we're eating together.

[sketching-shark]

LMK fandom: Oh, what do we do about this guy who has nothing but hurt Xiaotian, tried to replace Sun Wukong and his crew, hurt Tripitaka and ordered servants to cannibalize a monkey? Oh I know! We’ll turn him into our little meow meow~ he’s so innocent and Sun Wukong is obviously the villain!

What doesn’t help is this idea is perpetuated by multiple fan fic writers and artists for some reason. Especially some aus they make that turn SWK into a bastard for the sake of the story rather than considering cultural context and thinking they should be respectful.

And almost everyone lets them get away with it just because the art or fanfic is good and they get so popular that no one can point what is actually wrong without feeling like they’re going to get attacked.

I'm starting to feel like my blog is the one anons go to specifically to vent their frustrations about the Six Eared Macaque in his lego monkey show form & the associated fandom lmao. But I guess this makes sense, as I’ve had fun quasi-dragging him before & will in fact use this anon submission as an opportunity to have my own, to put it academically, bitch fest about not just this fandom's favorite protagonist-traumatizing meow meow, but about the way villains are often treated in not just fanon, but increasingly in canon works as well. But same policy as with the last anon; I'll post my opinions below the cut, and as fandoms love to say, don’t like don't read if you don't want to see me dunking on the six eared simian & common fandom tendencies towards villains.

Oh man I would say where would you even begin with this but anon you’ve pretty much started yourself with my main gripe with a lot of ways that the Six-Eared Macaque is portrayed in fandom; there seems to be this unspoken agreement that his acts of violence towards Sun Wukong, Qi Xioatian, and Qi Xioatian’s loved ones are either to be framed as somewhat or totally justified, to be immediately forgiven/excused, or to simply & completely be ignored. Like friends maybe this is just me not seeing the proper posts but while the fandom is inundated with art and fanfics of Macaque as a generally decent individual & a true member of team good guy, I have yet to see one person address the fact that this monkey literally kidnapped & mind-controlled Xiaotian’s best friend and father figures & forced them to brutalize Xiaotian while ol’ Six Ear looked on and laughed (X_X). Like this kind of fandom villain treatment is definitely not something that’s solely at work for Monkie Kid, but it is kind of nutty how fandoms will swing between yelling that people should be allowed to like villains without even mild critique, and then will just flat-out not address the villainous behavior, and will even bend over backwards to frame even characters who committed genocide as just poor innocent widdle victims who need a hug. At its worst, I’ve even seen tons of people in a fandom get really angry at other people who don’t like a villain, and will even start accusing those people of hating real-life mentally disabled or abused individuals all because they don’t like the fandom’s favorite literal war criminal. The Monkie Kid fandom is FAR more chill & better than a lot of other fandoms I’ve come across in that regard, but that is an exceedingly low bar, & the tendency to woobify certain kinds of villains-- as with Macaque and the extreme emphasis on his bad boy/sad boy thing--is very much at work.  

 I’ve also talked before about a kind of monoculturalization of certain character interpretations and story beats in fandoms, and one of the more popular ones that seems to be applied to Macaque a lot is the “hero actually bad, villain actually good” cliche, as observable from the general fandom assumption that Mr. Six-Ears he wasn’t even slightly lying or remembering things through a rose-tinted or skewed lens when he gave his version of his and Sun Wukong’s past. Like at this point it seems the possibility that people WILL NOT even consider is that Sun Wukong never did & still doesn't care that much about the Six Eared Macaque (in JTTW they weren’t sworn brothers & in Monkie Kid the only thing the monkey king really said to Macaque before attacking him was a pretty contemptuous "Aren't you ever going to get sick of living under my shadow?," & responds to his "beloved friend" getting blown up with "You did good, bud" to Qi Xiaotian, who did the exploding), or that their original fight may in fact have mostly been instigated by Macaque. After all, to repeat what this anon summarized & what I've said before about their original JTTW context (& in an example of the things that do feel like it's often lost in translation) is that the Six Ear Macaque was a villain not just because he beat up the Tang Monk, but because he wanted to take over Sun Wukong's entire life and identity so he could have all that glory, prestige, and power for himself. To quote the macaque himself from the Anthony C. Yu translation, "I struck the T'ang monk and I took the luggage...precisely because I want to go to the West all by myself to ask Buddha for the scriptures. When I deliver them to the Land of the East, it will be my success and no one else's. Those people of the South Jambudvipa Continent will honor me then as their patriarch and my fame will last for all posterity." And in order to do this, the Six Eared Macaque had apparently made Sun Wukong's "little ones," his monkey family, his captives through either trickery or force, and gotten a number of them to take on the appearance of Tang Sanzang and the other pilgrims. It's also made clear that in very direct contrast to Sun Wukong, he doesn't care about these monkeys beyond how they might serve him. In fact, after Sha Wujing kills the monkey posing as him the Six Eared Macaque not only all but immediately replaces him with another, but also "told his little ones to have the dead monkey skinned. Then his meat was taken to be fried and served as food along with coconut and grape wines." So this monkey is not only willing to risk the lives of a lot of other monkeys for his own personal benefit, but is also a literal cannibal. And yes yes, I know a lot of people have argued that Monkie Kid shouldn't be considered a direct sequel to JTTW & that's fair enough (for example, Sun Wukong probably shouldn't be smashing anyone into a meat patty in a children's cartoon lol). And of course, it needs to be noted that there are a buttload of really out there & really cursed pieces of media based on JTTW & that were created in China. Yet the above description is the oft-ignored in the west original facet of the Six Eared Macaque's character. And it is this selfishness, entitlement, and treatment of other individuals as tools for his own self-serving ends  that is, from where I’m standing, still very much present in Monkie Kid. Like besides repeatedly going out of his way to physically and psychologically traumatize Xioatian, with the last episode Macaque seemed to be going right back to his manipulative ways. I’ve seen people frame their last conversation as Macaque softening to Xioatian a little bit, but personally that read a lot more like that common tactic among abusers where even after they’ve hurt you they’ll dangle something you want or need over your head (in Macaque’s case, the promise of desperately needed training and information about a serious looming threat), with the implication that you’ll only get it if you do what they want you to, such as, in this case, Xioatian going back to Macaque as his student even after having been so terribly hurt by this monkey, which would give Macaque power over Xiaotian and probably Sun Wukong as a result. And it is this violence and manipulation that it seems the fandom at large has tacitly decided shouldn’t even be addressed, instead leaning more towards a (and this is an exaggeration) “Six-Eared Macaque my poor meow meow Sun Wukong has always been bad & has always been wrong about literally everything” reading. 

And while it is the case that I am not Chinese and feel that as such it would be best left to someone who actually comes from that background to provide more context into how common interpretations of the Six Eared Macaque from China may clash really badly with the stuff the western fandom creates, it also must be noted that, as much as we all want to have fun in fandom & in spite of all the out-there versions of JTTW from China, we westerners should recognize that there is a very long and very ugly history of western countries stripping other cultures’ important religious and literary works for parts & mashing them into their own thing while implying or even insisting that what they present provides a true understanding of the original piece. And while I trust most individuals in regards to Monkie Kid are able to step back and think “this is a lego cartoon and not a set guide for how I should understand JTTW” (especially given the insistence that JTTW and Monkie Kid should be considered there own separate works) there does nevertheless seem to be something of a tendency to take the conclusions people come to, for example, about Sun Wukong’s characteristic in his lego form & then assume that’s just reflective to Sun Wukong as a totality. I imagine a good portion of this is due to people not reading JTTW & especially to not having easy access to solid information or answers about JTTW’s many different facets (like geez awhile ago I was trying to get a clear answer on what is considered the most accurate translation of the names of Sun Wukong’s six sworn brothers & got like 5 different responses lmao), but that tendency to take a western fandom interpretation & run with it instead of doing any background research or questioning said interpretation is still very much at play. As such, & as made prominent in the way people have been interpreting the dynamic between Sun Wukong and the Six Eared Macaque in the lego monkey show, tbh it does seem kind of shitty for western creators & audience to sometimes go really out of their way to ignore all of this original cultural & narrative context for the sake of Angst (TM) in Macaque's favor, demonizing Sun Wukong, and shipping the monkey king with his evil twin (X_X).

And speaking of which, even beyond the potential inherent creepiness & revulsion that can be inspired by this specific ship given common interpretations of the og classic's original meaning (again, it's my understanding, given both summaries of translated Chinese academic texts I've been kindly provided with, my own reading of the Anthony C. Yu translation of JTTW, & vents from a number of Chinese people I've seen on this site, that the Six-Eared Macaque is commonly interpreted in China as having originated from Sun Wukong himself as a living embodiment of his worst traits, hence why only Buddha can tell the difference between them & why the monkey king is much more slow to violence after he kills the macaque), I'd argue that in the face of all the uwu poor widdle meow meow portrayals lego show Macaque is, especially if you include JTTW's events, still in the role of “Sun Wukong but worse” as he is very much a violent & selfish creep. Like he was basically running around in JTTW wearing a Sun Wukong fursuit, but there he had the sole reason of wanting to replace Sun Wukong wholesale so he could have all the good things in the monkey king's life without actually having to work as hard for them. But if you combine that with Macaque now claiming that he used to be best friend with Sun Wukong in his pre-journey days (something that's made funny from a JTTW context given that that status actually belongs to the Demon Bull King lol), his original violence has now blown into this centuries long and really unhealthy obsession with the monkey king. Like he's apparently gone from wanting to literally be Sun Wukong to being so obsessed with getting revenge on Sun Wukong that he's got basically nothing else going on in his life. Like he's only appeared in two episodes but...does he have any friends? Any family? A career or even a hobby that DOESN'T center the monkey king? Anything at all outside of his "get revenge on and/or kill Sun Wukong/use his successor as my personal punching bag” thing? Like dude! That is extremely creepy and extremely bad for everyone all around! As I’ve said before, this seeming refusal to see beyond the past or to do something that doesn’t involve Sun Wukong in some capacity is a trait that makes Macaque an interesting and somewhat tragic villain--he even seems to be working as Sun Wukong’s reflection in a mirror darkly, with lego show Sun Wukong pretty clearly not being able to heal from his own past which is hinted to be defined by one loss after another, and with Monkie Kid even kind of having these two characters somewhat follow their JTTW characterizations in that in the latter half of the journey Sun Wukong often gets sad & starts crying in the face of what seems insurmountable odds (& Monkie Kid Sun Wukong does seem to be hiding some serious depression behind a cheerful facade), whereas the Six-Eared Macaque retains a worse version of Sun Wukong’s pre-journey characteristic of getting pissed and lashing out if things don’t go his way--but it’s also what would make any current friendship or romantic relationship between these monkeys horrific. Although to be fair even the fandom seems to recognize this in an unconscious way, in that a lot of the art & fanfic seems to swing erratically between them kissing & screaming at each other in yet another example of bog-standard fandom adulation of romanticized toxic relationships lol.  

At the end of the day, of course, this is nothing new. You'll find versions of this dynamic across a ton of fandoms and now even canonical work. And as such, I can only look at this kind of popularized relationship dynamic with a kind of resigned weariness whenever it pops up, & my frustrated question with the popularity of this kind of pairing is the exact same one that I have for a multitude of blatantly toxic villain/hero ships, given common fandom discourse & the tendency to either ignore or justify the villain's actions & demonize the hero: if you're THAT convinced that everything is the hero's fault, if you believe THAT much that the hero is the one in the wrong for the villain's pain and their subsequent actions, then why are you so set on them not only becoming a romantic pair, but framing this get-together as a good thing? Like I know we contain multitudes but that's waaay too many contradictions for me to wrap my head around. And it definitely doesn’t help that one branch of underlying reasoning behind this kind of pairing seems to be the ever-present “you break it, you fix it” mentality, where the assumption is that if you’re in a failing, abusive, and/or generally toxic relationship (platonically or romantically), if you put in enough time and effort & attempts to compromise, you’ll be able to restore/have the relationship you dreamed of, even with someone who hurt you really badly. And this assumption isn’t limited to fandom: I’d even argue that it’s everywhere in the culture, hence why a lot of people feel like they “failed” if they have to get a divorce or make the choice to leave an unhealthy friendship. Personally, I feel like people could really benefit from more stories about how it is not only the case that the people you hurt don’t owe you their forgiveness & you can still become a better and happier person without the one you hurt in your life, & that while it can be really hard it can also be a good thing to leave a relationship, even if it’s one that once meant a lot to you. 

  But in all honestly, from my own perspective this kind of pairing is starting to read far less like enemies to lovers and far more like a horrible fantasy where you can pull whatever shit you want, even on the people you "love," & never be held accountable for your terrible behavior or even have to consider that maybe you were in the wrong. It's another facet that makes me larf every time I see people insist that fandom is an inherently "transformative" or "progressive" form of storytelling like friends you are literally just taking status quo toxic monogamy & rebranding it as somehow beneficial & romantic (X_X).

But as to anon’s last frustration, it is hard to know what is the appropriate response with this kind of thing...like for my own part I’m keeping my frustrations to my blog & now increasingly to posts that you would have to click on the “read more” button to see what I have to say, but I totally get the hesitation to give even a mild critique to big names in a fandom. Like I've now seen it happen repeatedly where someone who has a big name in a fandom will make something that's kind of shitty for one reason or another, someone will message them with some version of "hey, that's kind of shitty, you shouldn't do that," and the typical response is either to blatantly ignore the issue completely, or more popularly to make a giant crying circus that seems deliberately geared towards stoking emotions on both sides of the, for example, fiction does/doesn't affect reality issue so that something that didn't even have to be that big a deal gets blown out of all proportion, with the big name often framing what often started out as a very mild critique into a long crying jag about how the initial response to their kind of shitty thing was so mean/cruel and they're just a poor innocent & that YOU'RE the true racist/sexist/bigot etc. if you don't agree with their opinion. It must of course be noted that there have also been numerous instances of people taking it too far the other way & sending not just big names but smaller creators literal deaths threats over stuff like innocuous ships which like holy hell bells people that’s a horrible thing to do. But for the big names at least, the end result of all this fighting is usually that once the dust has settled they have more attention/fame/money/power in the fandom than before, and with anyone who might have a problem with their stuff feeling afraid to voice their opinion lest they be swarmed by that person's fans. In that way fandom does often seem to increasingly be geared towards presenting an “official” fandom perspective about various facets of a piece of media instead of allowing for a multitude of interpretations, and with criticism, no matter its shape or form or how genuinely warranted it may be, being hounded out of existence. I feel like a lot of this could be made less bad if there wasn’t this constant assumption & even drive to think that a different interpretation of or criticism of your favorite work of fiction or your fanwork isn’t a direct claim that you are a thoroughly loathsome individual (& maybe also if people cultivated an enjoyment of learning things about important works from a culture outside their own, even if what you learn clashes with your own initial understandings), but I guess we’ll see if that ever happens. 

So these are my general thinks about the Six Eared Macaque’s current fandom meow meow status & some of my bigger gripes with fandom tendencies as a whole. I stand by my idea that the most interesting & beneficial route for Macaque moving forward would be a kind of “redemption without forgiveness from the ones you hurt” arc--as I think was done pretty excellently with the character Grace in Infinity Train--and if for no other reason than gosh dern this monkey really needs to cultivate some sort of identity beyond his “Sun Wukong but worse” persona. 

[theanimalsarecalling]

When Ronan Lynch was first given voice in The Dream Thieves, I was excited. He is definitely the most interesting pov character.  By turns, he is poignant, funny and a total shit.  His dreaming is presented as a sort of cross between being a gifted child and having a chronic disease, both of which are isolating, and which both feed into the depression he regularly experiences.  He is an immensely relatable character. I think that's why so many readers take his pov at face value.

Chapter 12 in The Dream Thieves presents what, to me, is one of the most troubling scenes in the series. This is the chapter in which Ronan meets his brothers at church. Declan is obviously injured.  In chpt 2, Declan had just survived a terrible assault from the Gray Man.  As described, he had head injuries severe enough that I'm surprised Maggie didn't give him chronic migraines in addition to an incipient ulcer.  And Ronan's reaction to seeing this?

"Ronan's mood improved."

This nearly sank Ronan as a character for me.

This is his brother we are talking about. I know they don't have a particularly good relationship, and with the reveals in the Christmas story and TDT, we know it goes back farther than Niall's death or the will. But still.  Who gets happy seeing another person brutally beaten? 

Then the narrative switches to Declan's story that he was beaten up by burglars, which Ronan knows is a lie. Ronan briefly considers who could have beaten up his brother, who he knows to be a good fighter. But then he says to himself "It was like the truth was a disease Declan thought might kill him."

At this point in the story, we have been told that Declan is a liar, a calculating man-whore, who cheats on his girlfriends and trots out his brother's trauma to get laid, is bossy and controlling, and possibly homophobic and just a general asshole, all filtered through Ronan's pov. (In fairness, Declan's not perfect.  The lying, bossing and controlling are all true. He's also crabby.) But by bringing  up Declan's lying at this point, Ronan implies that Declan somehow deserved the beating because he's a general asshole.  But isn't this dangerously close to blaming the victim?

I eventually circled back around to liking Ronan.  He's still relatable.  He's also the victim of unusual circumstances, flawed parenting and his own poor choices. 

One of the central themes in The Dreamer Trilogy is coming to terms with your own self hatred.  Three of the principle characters hate themselves.  In Hennessey's and Declan's cases, this stems primarily from parental abuse and neglect.  In Ronan's case, it's a bit more complex.  I think Ronan's  is caused by three things:   

1.  The conflict between being a devout Catholic and gay man.  Personally, I think this is the least of it.  By the time you reach CDTH, he's pretty openly out, and seems to have made peace with it.  

2.  The gifted child / chronic illness thing.  These are circumstances beyond Ronan's control. And they are truly isolating for him.  The moment he realized he couldn't be with Adam at Harvard and he was stuck accepting that all of Adam's friends must think of him as a hopeless fuck-up, was truly heart wrenching. (And Declan's suggestion to Adam that he blame it all on Ronan, while practical, certainly showed some resentment on Declan's part).

3.  But the biggest reason is this. There was a very dangerous dynamic going on in the Lynch family.  Two children were favored, and one was isolated and excluded, made to work, and regularly placed in dangerous situations. Of course, Ronan only witnessed the first two.  But witnessing the abuse of a sibling can mess you up almost as much as the victim.  Ronan learned to think treating Declan this way was normal.  He accepted the narrative that Declan was somehow deficient and therefore deserved to be treated badly.  Even in CDTH, the way Ronan treats Declan is appalling.  

How do you reconcile this with the Ronan who fought Adam's father to protect him, who has such high ideals, who wants to be a hero?  Well, you can't.  In accepting the abuse Declan's received as normal and deserved, Ronan has been perpetuating it.  

For those of you who've read the other stuff I've written here, you've probably realized I keep circling back to the same place.

The biggest lie Ronan has been telling himself is that the way he treats Declan is normal and okay.  Until Ronan recognizes that he had been perpetuating his brother's abuse, and makes amends, he will never be true to his ideals, will never learn kindness, will never grow up and become a hero.  Eventually, this will affect his relationship with Adam, who has eyes and who is an abuse victim himself. 

So the only way forward is for Ronan to grow up, recognize his behavior and make amends by taking Declan's concerns seriously and treating him with kindness.

[knaite-solo]

Dangerous - Zuko x Reader

Summary: When you don't leave your tent, Zuko gets worried and decides to do something about it. 

Pairing: Zuko x Waterbender!Reader

Genre: Fluff with some comedy

Warnings: Swearing and period stuff

Word count: 2856

That day, you didn't leave your tent.

Zuko was very attentive, but it didn't take much effort to realize that there was something wrong with you. It was unusual for you to avoid talking with the rest of the group. You always liked to interact with others and help even in the smallest tasks.

So when the hours went by, and you didn't leave, he started to get really concerned. The prince began to walk to your tent until he sensed a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to see who it was, he found Sokka staring at him very seriously. So serious that it didn't suit his goofy character.

"Don't go in there." He said in a warning tone.

"What? Why?" Zuko asked with a confused expression.

"Just don't." Sokka looked around as if he was seeking for a hidden enemy and then whispered. "It's dangerous. Trust me, man."

Zuko decided not to enter your tent, at least not at that moment. Sokka's warning had left him confused. What could be so dangerous about you? He decided to gather more information. Maybe Toph or Aang could help.

                                          ☆

"So, what do you think?" Zuko asked Toph, who was lying on a stone while playing with her space rock.

"Probably some silly stuff." The earthbender said while changing her rock to numerous shapes.

"But Sokka said it was dangerous. Maybe she is ill or something." The prince tried to think about other possibilities. Toph just looked extremely tired of the conversation.

"Well, I tried to talk to her earlier in the morning..."

"And?"

"She cursed me for opening the tent and let light enter her eyes." Toph blew a few strands of hair in an annoyed attitude. "Sokka usually says dumb things, so I never thought I would agree with him on something. But he's right."

She stopped playing with her space rock and transformed it back in a bracelet, putting it in her arm.

"I don't know what happened, but I don't give a shit anyway."

Zuko just listened to Toph and tried to imagine you cursing her for just trying to talking with you, and he just couldn't. You were such good friends with everybody, especially Toph since she wasn't into girly things, neither were you. Both of you were so close that once he found out you two playing in the mud. Toph throwing mud at you with her earthbending and you with your waterbending. You just were Toph's best friend. Why would you treat her so badly out of nowhere?

"Thanks for the information, I think..." The prince said indecisively. He didn't know what to say since he noticed that Toph was lying about not caring about your mood change.

"It's was a pleasure talking to you, Sparky. Sadly I can't say the same about Y/n."

                                            ☆

"Are you sure she did that?" Aang was brushing Appa's fur while listening to Zuko talk about your weird attitude with Toph.

"Yes. And Toph was really mad. More than usual." The prince couldn't forget the eartbender's expressions as she talked about you. It was a mix of anger and deception.

"Maybe Y/n ate something bad?"

"But Sokka said that it was dangerous to go in her tent. I don't think it's food poisoning." Zuko also couldn't forget Sokka's serious expression. If it were in another context, it would be hilarious.

"Sokka and Katara had a strange fever not long ago." The airbender finally finished brushing Appa. The sky bison looked joyful. "They said strange things and couldn't do anything alone. Maybe it could be it."

"And how the fever stopped?"

"Well..." Aang let out a nervous chuckle. "They had to suck some frozen frogs."

"FROZEN WHAT-'' Zuko's eyes widened.

"MAYBE SHE ISN'T SICK, I DON'T KNOW!"

"HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND FROZEN FROGS HERE?" Zuko was already thinking about the worst.

"HOLY SHIT! CAN'T YOU ASSHOLES STOP SCREAMING? YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!" Toph appeared out of nowhere while complaining and covering her ears.

"Why you guys keep using these bad words in front of Appa and Momo?" Aang asked in a withered tone. "They're innocent creatures..."

                                           ☆

Zuko was hopeless. Nobody seemed to be able to explain what was wrong with you and the list of people he could ask was almost over. There was only one person left.

"Katara." He called but she didn't seem to hear.

The waterbender was kneeling on the edger of a river while washing some clothes and sheets. She would submerge the fabrics in the water, rub them, and then dry them with her waterbending. Being a waterbending master had its advantages. She always used her bending in everyday activities, making things a thousand times easier. It was impossible not to look at her and not to be amazed at how easily she connected with the water and managed to manipulate it.

But then Zuko noticed that one of the sheets was different from the others. It had a red stain on it.

"Is this blood?"

Katara almost jumped after hearing that question. Because she was distracted, she hadn't noticed when the prince had approached much less he had called her and now she had been caught with that incriminating sheet in hand. And not any incriminating sheet, it was your incriminating sheet.

"B-Blood? I don't know what you're talking about!" Katara quickly hid the sheet behind her.

Zuko tried not to roll his eyes. He might be trying to become a better person, but that didn't mean he would accept to be made a fool of.

"I can still see the sheet behind you." He just said in a bored tone.

Katara blushed. She hated to lie but she hated to be caught in the lie the most.

"Sorry." She stopped trying to hide the cloth. "I didn't want you to see that."

"Why not?" Zuko looked again at the red stain. Now he was absolutely sure it was blood.

"It's kinda embarrassing to explain..." She returned to clean the sheet, focused on making the red stain disappear.

"I won't judge, I promise." Zuko reassured.

"It's a woman thing. Usually, we don't want people to notice when we are on our period, you know?"

"Oh."

As the stain started to dissolve and vanish in the river's stream, Zuko's mind clicked. Your period. Of course! How could he be so dumb? He felt his face starting to redden.

"So, Y/n is..."

"Yes, that's why I'm washing this." She lifted the sheet that now was wet. "But even if we try to be careful, accidents do happen. "And with a simple movement, she removed the water from the sheet, drying it in the process.

"Accidents, right." Zuko just pretended to agree. He understood generally what being on period meant, but that was all he knew. Part of him was never really interested in knowing more about it, but another part never had access to it, since the subject was considered taboo by most part of women. "I suppose it's impossible to be careful enough."

Katara immediately noticed how he didn't seem to know much of what they were talking about and a playful smile quickly appeared on her lips.

"You know you're not fooling anyone, are you?"

"What do you-"

"Zuko, it's okay to not know about things." The waterbender assured him. Her smile wasn't playful anymore. It switched to a tender one.

"I-I-" The prince started to blush again. He really wanted to understand more about theses "girly things" and how he could make you feel better but it was just so difficult to ask. "I don't-"

"Don't worry. I won't tease you." Katara started to get up with the basket of clean clothes in hand.

Zuko looked away, focusing on the camp before answering. The prince imagined you trapped in that tent, acting in that moody way for a reason you couldn't control. He really wanted to help you, and if that meant he had to go over all his shame and male pride, he would.

"Fine. " He answered while pinching the bridge of his nose. "But don't tell Sokka."

"Why would I-"

"Don't tell Toph either."

"But why-"

"Actually, don't tell anyone."

                                          ☆

Today your period was getting the best of you. Your mood was shit. You had been turning over all night because of hellish cramps so it was expected that you wanted to sleep until later. But then when Toph, who was unaware of your situation, tried to talk to you, you were extremely rude to her. Actually, even if you tried to tell Toph that you were on your period, she wouldn't understand since she hadn't had her first yet, but you still had no right to curse her just for saying hi.

As if it were a punishment from the universe, you realized that you had stained one of the sheets that you had used that night. Furthermore, your horrible cramps had returned. Thankfully Katara came to your rescue, helping you a little with the pain and offering to wash the tragic sheet.

Now, after all the events, you didn't quite know what you wanted to do. Sure, you wanted to apologize to Toph, but you were afraid of what to do if your mood changed again.  Your body was limp, your breasts were swollen and your back hurt a lot. Everything told you not to get up. So, that's what you did.

You were almost asleep again when you felt someone entering the tent. Thinking it was Toph, you automatically sat down and started to apologize.

"I know that nothing I say will change what I did, but I really-" You stopped talking when you noticed it wasn't your best friend that was in front of you, it was the guy that you liked. "Zuko?"

"Sorry for entering without asking." He said with an apologetic look. "Can I stay here?"

"I would love you to stay but... " You really wanted his presence there, but you were afraid to be rude to him too. And he was the last person you wanted to make a bad impression on. " I'm not very well today."

"I know."

"You... know?" You asked in a slightly nervous way, but you tried to disguise it.

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking as nervous as you were. "But I don't mind."

You seemed to be even more nervous than before. Being alone with him always made you unquiet, but imagining that he might know about your period made you want to bury your face in the ground and disappear. You knew it was normal to menstruate and it was stupid to perpetuate the idea that guys shouldn't know when you were or weren't on your period, but the thought of talking about it with him scared you.

You tried to say a few things, but the words died in your throat. The fear that the guy you liked so much thought you were disgusting made you so apprehensive that you didn't even know what to say.

He noticed your apprehension almost immediately.

"I-I bought you something!" Zuko started looking for something inside a small bag he had with him and it was the first time that you had noticed its existence.

When the prince finally found what you were looking for, you realized it was a very poorly wrapped up packet.

"You didn't need to-"

"It's chocolate. Katara said it could help." He handed the packet to you without looking you in the eye.

As you started to open it, you saw different bars of chocolate. One of white chocolate, one of dark chocolate, one with chestnuts and one with an extremely reddish color. Some of them were a little broken and melted, but most of them were fine.

"I didn't know which flavor you like the most, so I bought one of each." You felt your ears burn just by imagining him buying all that for you.

"Where did you-"

"I borrowed Appa to go to the nearest market." He answered. "But they ended up getting kind of..." You tried not to laugh at his frustrated face.

Your shame was gradually going away. He didn't think you were disgusting because you were on your period. In fact, he was worried to the point of taking a mini trip and buying sweets for you. And he even tried to wrap them up, though he clearly failed. Imagining him doing all that for you made your heart warmer to the point of making you cry. Your mood change was taking the best out of you again.

Zuko's eyes widened as soon as he noticed your tears.

"I-I'm sorry! I-" He started to get up. "I'll leave you alone!''

You quickly held him by the wrist while letting out a laugh. Your tears salted your mouth as you giggled, but you didn't care. Meanwhile, Zuko was staring at you with an extremely confused expression.

"I'm happy, you dork."

"But why are you crying?" He looked so worried that you almost felt guilty for laughing at him.

"Period things. I'm fine, really." You said while whipping your tears away. "Now sit here with me. I'm curious about this red one."

Zuko sighed with relief and sat next to you with his legs crossed. You stopped holding his wrist, being surprised at how brave you were to do something like this. You were the kind of person who got embarrassed just by touching him in the shoulder. Even when training with him, you would get disconcerted by the smallest things.

"It's a Fire Nation traditional chocolate." He broke a piece of the chocolate and offered it to you. "I thought you might want to try it."

You took the bizarrely red piece from his hand and tried not to sweat.

"I hope this isn't too spicy." But when you ate the piece, your fear came true. "ZUKO!"

"WHAT!" He practically jumped.

"WATER!" You screamed as you felt your tongue burning.

The prince started turning over all the sheets until he finally found a canteen lost in a corner of the tent. You didn't even wait for him to deliver it to you. You took the canteen from his hands and drank the water until you felt the burning sensation cease.

When you finally managed to stabilize your breathing after drinking so much water, you faced him. Zuko was sweating bullets.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked worriedly.

"It was an outstanding experience." You replied with a grin. "But I prefer not to try it again."

"Yeah, I won't buy this one for you the next time."

"Next time?" You couldn't ignore his statement. What did he mean by next time?

"Ah..."

Zuko started to blush again. Every time he started talking about things he had done for you or how he wanted to be with you, his face turned red, almost like a tomato. However, you couldn't hear his answer since your cramps have returned, making you lean forward and hold your belly.

"Hey, are you-"

"Cramps. Awful ones." You replied, still holding your belly. Your cramps were rougher than usual, so you laid down. "Sorry for ruining the mood."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. "

You were unable to agree or disagree with him. Your pain was so intense that you couldn't focus on anything. The guy of your dreams was on your side and you couldn't even look at him.

Suddenly, you felt something hot thing land on your belly. It was hot, but not enough to hurt you. It was cozy and made your pain lower little by little. You only came to understand what it was when the heat moved and you recognized the shape of a hand, a male hand.

"Katara said that heat can help with the pain." Zuko said as he slid his hand over your belly. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes." A pleased expression appeared in your face. "It feels nice."

"Good. I've never done this before." He stated.

"What about Mai?" You asked curiously, trying to not sound jealous. He was being so supportive that you couldn't help but imagine him trying to please his ex-girlfriend in every single way.

"Mai hardly commented on how she felt. Even when she was more... Er... Sensitive- "Zuko cleared his throat. "She was no different. It's not like I never wanted to help, but she never allowed me to be close enough.

"I see." You imagined him trying to get closer and Mai pushing him away. You felt sad for him. "Well, I feel happy for being the first one." Shyly, you put your hand over his. "I'll give you a lot of work to make up for it."

A smile lit up his face. His smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it was becoming more common as he spent more time with you and the rest of the Gaang.

"Am I supposed to be afraid?" He replied provocatively.

"Women in their period can be the most dangerous thing, you know."

"Yeah, Sokka said so."

"Sokka what?"

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @dekahg @eridanuswave @the-firebender-girl

People who were interested but I don’t if I could tag them: @unfortunateshelby @little-wankenobi @theblueslytherin @creepytoes88​ @http-peter-parker​

I don’t think this was my best work since I don’t feel really secure with portraying Zuko as a boyfriend yet. I’m not really sure about how he expresses love since he had so many problematic relationships and I don’t think he would be the perfect guy who would know everything about dating and stuff. I also don’t think he would say his feelings out loud. He looks more practical to me but not too practical. To me, he’s probably shy with this stuff. 

Please, give me feedback if I portraited him well as a boyfriend even if he wasn’t your boyfriend in this imagine.

English isn’t my native language so it might have mistakes.

I needed to write this since my period is still killing me.