#and also less comparing myself to other people and especially people younger than me who have amazing art it's BAD for you

[chalkrub]

mockley time it's mockley time will you have some mockleys of mine

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Hey I was a fan of your stuff but literally only realised that you’re a minor writing smut. Not gonna shame you for it or anything since that’s your choice but as a grown adult myself it does make me uncomfortable interacting with a minor who is posting 18+ content and I didn’t realise before since it wasn’t as obvious with there being so much in your bio. Definitely think it would be better if you made it more obvious on your blog at you are under 18 as it’s kinda uncomfortable for some adults read smut that is written by a minor. Not trying to be rude but this is more of a suggestion so others are more aware before choosing to interact with your content :)

Okay, first of all, thank you for being nice about it!! ✨️

But I would like to emphasize that I'm 17, not 12, and that I'm turning 18 in less than 3 months.

And quite frankly, I don't understand this whole argument from some adults.

I get it if we're talking about people under 16 or 15 but what difference do 3 months makes? Lmao

I definitely know people who've had sex at this age and even younger, so I don't quite get why me writing about sex is that big of a deal?

Some adults on here are just so nitpicky about this shit and that's annoying.

Because teenagers (and I'm saying teenagers and not minors because a minor is someone from the second they're born all the way to 18 and that's a big fucking difference that a lot of you want to ignore.) Know about sex. They know about porn.

You can still easily get access to porn online, which is way unhealthier than the smut I write.

Like is this about maturity??? Because I can assure you, absolutely fucking no one will be more mature the second they turn 18.

Is this about the legal side of it, like I don't get it. In a lot of countries the age of conset is under 18.

We literally learn about sex in school!!!

You're definitely not getting any brownie points for shit like this, if that's what you want.

A lot of y'all need to lose the superiority complex.

Besides, my smut is very tame compared to most of the stuff on here.

You need to humble yourself. Because you're not protecting minors, which you claim to do. I'd rather have them read smut than become addicted to porn.

Porn is not an accurate representation of sex at all, it's setting dangerous and unrealistic standards for performance, expectations and beauty standards. Especially for girls.

I'm not saying my smut is the holy grail, but it's better than porn. I write soft and loving intimacy, aftercare, and I have and always will mention stomach rolls, stretchmarks etc.

Also, my age is smack dab in the middle of my bio. It's been there since October last year. That's on you, my friend.

The fuck you think the 17 was for, huh??? 😭

And you're using aware like I write dead dove content or like I'm a fucking criminal or something.

The majority of my blog is NOT smut. All my NSFW works are marked on my masterlist.

I'm not a child, I'm aware of my decisions, and I'm a pissed that some adults can't get that in their fucking head.

Oh yeah, and guess what??

Teenagers get horny!!!

God forbid we go through a normal human experience.

Or would you rather I sleep around and be at the risk of catching an STD and getting pregnant???

Because I could very well be doing that instead, but I'm not.

I obviously don't know if you're American, but I'm not. I'm European, and teenagers here are very different. They're more mature, grown up, and independent.

Please get over yourself, I'm not 12 and laugh every time someone says Penis or Vagina.

Jesus fucking christ.

[kafus]

something that’s missing from a lot of discussion on GSC, both positive and negative, is the context in which those games released. and i say this as someone who has no nostalgia for GSC and did not play them until adulthood, and who was very unaware of gen 2’s existence as a young kid.

when GSC released, the only other mainline games were RGBY. “generations” weren’t… a concept yet. through digging around and talking to folk just slightly older than me, i’ve learned that players back then would sometimes call RBY “colors” or “chromatics” while GSC would be “minerals” or “metallics” or other such variants. they were not calling it “gen 2.”

this is important because pokemon discourse and critique is always very echo chamber-y - we all, myself included, tend to judge pokemon game quality based on how they compare to other pokemon games, instead of the lens of general game design. so people judge gen 2 based on their preconceived notion of what a new pokemon generation is supposed to be, when generations weren’t even a thing and GSC was more intended to be a… RBY expansion pass? for lack of a better term.

stadium 2 being left out of the conversation is also immensely frustrating for me, though to some extent, i get it. the only ways to play stadium 2 properly with the transfer pak are to own a ton of old and increasingly expensive hardware that have dying batteries you have to replace, or to wrangle together an N64 emulator with transfer pak support. i understand that both options are not feasible for a lot of people for a variety of reasons. and it’s not like nintendo does a good job of reminding you about the stadium games properly either - the virtual console releases of RGBY/GSC on 3DS came without them, and the stadium releases on switch without RGBY/GSC, literally putting out a shell of a video game and forever burning the legacy of the stadium games as half finished rental gauntlets with minigames into younger generations’ minds instead of postgame & difficulty proto-DLC before the likes of the emerald battle frontier could fit on gameboy cartridges.

and of course none of us can teleport back to the 90s/early 2000s if we weren’t there for that, or in my case, a bit too young to get it - especially increasingly younger generations who are only going to hear discussion on johto through poketubers and have much less conception of what that era of time looked like. but i think knowing about that time at least a little bit is crucial in understanding GSC as games.

i’m not sure what the point of this post is, i just really love johto and the modern conversation about games this important to me is frankly demoralizing, and i wish i could convey what i love about them without hearing the same parroted talking points that don’t even hold up. constantly. all the time.

[al-the-remix]

I’m sorry what?? You’ve had fic written about you?? Are you famous? How did I not know this?

lol no and that's the part that's actually embarrassing, not the actual fic... It's really not that interesting but if you're curious i'll explain btc

I don't know if you remember 2010-2016 ish tumblr pre porn ban fandom, but it was a slightly different flavour than it was now. Maybe it was just the circles I spent time in, but I feel like that was before tumblr as a whole had learn its lesson BNF wise. This was post the big move of fan artists over from Deviant Art and there was also still a large number of "famous" cosplayers that were most notable for being hot and posting suggestive photos of themselves on the internet. (Which don't get me wrong I'm all for, I was a big fan of having random dicks and tits pop up on my feed without instantly getting community labeled) but this was also the hight of the "tumblr girl/boy aesthetic" which was basically just repackaging heroin chic to insecure, impressionable teenagers, which for reasons beyond me people love to romanticize now. "Oh remember 2011 tumblr, it was so great", what I remember is like 2/3rds of the platform mainlining glamorized anorexia and self harm content non stop, so like agree to disagree... But that's beyond the point, which is: people were super primed to bestow ""celebrity"" on people who didn't deserve it at all, and being in a group of like seven relatively attractive queer people who posted way too much of their personal lives on the internet and were overly familiar with each-other on main was enough to end up with fan fiction written about you.

I'm still good friends with most of these people, and we all agree that in retrospect this was a cringy period in our lives that was a result of our own behaviour not any one else, because like what I wouldn't give to be able to nuke all reposted aesthetic pictures of myself on pinterest, lmao.

But literally the only reason I ever invoke this cursed knowledge is when I think it could be used as like a moral tale to help prop up an opinion I feel very strongly about now, which first and foremost will always be:

there is no such thing as tumblr famous, especially within fandom, the way the site functions works directly against it and that's a good thing. Anyone who tries to gain clout within a fandom and either consciously or subconsciously turns their entire goal of participating in fandom into "making an impact" or becoming a "prominent figure in the fandom" should be avoided at all costs. If they're unsuccessful in garnering attention they'll become bitter, unbearable, and often cruel, if they do end up getting that attention they'll turn into the most annoying person you'll ever have the misfortune of interacting with and will most likely end up trying to dictate how everyone in the fandom should interact with the cannon material. (i've seen both examples play out more than once much to my own and everyone around them's suffering).

RPF... you don't have to like it, you can personal qualms with the ethics of it, it can very simply make you uncomfortable and you don't want to participate in it, all of those reasons are valid and there are interesting conversations to be had there, but I would say about 95% of the time when I come across people arguing about it has less to do with personal issues, and more to do with this sort of overcorrecting when it comes to sex, attraction, and intimacy we see now a days where especially younger people think that if you so much as find someone attractive you're violating...or god forbid...fetishizing them in some way. And there's a ton I could say on that topic, but I'll try and keep this to the point. Obviously what I experienced is like a speck of sand compared to beaches that are some RPF fandoms, and it likely affected me less because I am queer and I was actually sleeping with a number of those people that I was being "shipped" with etc.--though I'd still argue that whether you're queer or sleeping with that person, being written about by strangers on the internet is an odd experience-- But that's really all it is: odd. The same time all of this was going down I had someone who I hadn't seen in a very long time beginning to stalk me. And like the RPF half of this story, I'm using that word in the lightest of terms. This wasn't a man I was physically intimidated by (I was taller and stronger than him), I was lucky enough to be in the process of moving to a different province so unless I went back to my family home he didn't have physical access to me, and I never had to get the authorities involved. But despite all that I was much more affected by him hanging around outside my house, following me, leaving me weird handwriten letters and presents, insisting that we had some sort of connection even though this is someone I hadn't seen or spoken to in 6+ years, then I ever did being perceived by people on the internet. It made me feel paranoid, physically revolted, and worst of all no one around me took it seriously so I didn't have anyone to literally have my back. So after like four years of microdosing having fanfiction written about me and also having someone physically in my space that I didn't wish to be there, I can confidently say the latter is far worse. You're not breaching anyone's (agency?? idk i'm blanking on the word I want) by thinking or writing or drawing them, it's when you begin to try and physically breach that person's personal space, or because we live in the age of social media, their online bubble and directly engage them, for fandom reasons or because you wrongly believe that you and them have some sort of connection, that things begin to get out of hand. To me the whole issue really comes down to the breaking of the 4th wall, which I'll admit is a super delicate balance and becomes harder to maintain the larger the fandom grows. I think you can see some of the most negative consequences of this when it comes to some of the worst behaviour exhibited by Kpop fandoms, just because they're so large, and the management companies play into it feeding the fire, but at the same time we have talk show hosts getting a kick out of showing off character fan art and fanfiction to actors on air... so wether you're engaging with the "actor" or the "character" in your art and fic there are still ways for that forth wall to be breached, and trying to moralize it is a looser's game. You might as well not engage in fan fic at all, which some people will argue, but I obviously don't agree with.

TL;DR life is short, stalking people is bad, and if you want to write fanfiction about your favourite singer no one should be able to stop you, but I highly discourage emailing it to them.

This is why I still don't use my main blog, because even though I nuked all that content in like 2017 and rebranded as a anime/manga/comics blog, it keeps ratcheting up non-porn bot followers and I've discovered I have much more fun on the internet with fewer eyes on me (another good reason to use the block button liberally, lol)

[seeingteacupsindragons]

This is such an extremely dumb detail to analyze but when I’m out of things to analyze this is what I do. I was always under the impression that Fred is like 15 (pre time skip). Like no more than 16, but then the characters birthdays came out and even though Fred doesn’t have one listed (still sketch to me) it has 18/19(?) as his supposed age which is kind of weird to me because it feels like he’s younger? Like people who talk about “this kid” being in that type of work and yeah he is young but if he is technically a legal adult why would people be surprised by the line of work he is in? Also it was probably just a comedic moment but I remember the whole bond situation and Moran being weirded out about bond changing with them and he comments “she has a bust .. Fred’s too young to see that.” Again, why would Moran think an 18/19 yr old is too young to see nudity? I know all this pretty much amounts to “it’s not that deep bro” but these are the things that plague me.

So, I think you've gotten a little caught up here in your assumptions having led you very astray from canon:

I cannot remember a single time anyone referred to Fred as a kid or were surprised someone his age was in his line of work. I'm not going through 20 volumes of material at 2am to check, but if it does happen once or twice, it's fairly inconsequential and from someone who doesn't know Fred well.

Moran never, ever says that Fred is too young to see nudity. This one I did check because it was easy to find that scene, and Moran actually just says that Fred didn't want Bond in the changing room either (and Fred was unimpressed and unamused by being dragged into Moran's brief foray into transphobia). The English translated this one a little funny, but he didn’t actually comment on Fred’s age directly in Japanese.

My assumption that his age comes with a question mark and a lack of birthday is because he doesn't know exactly when he was born. While birth certificates and records were quite common in the time period, I think it's a massive assumption to assume everyone knew the exact details of their birth, especially someone like Fred who seems to have come from poorer origins.

But the actual reason I'm answering this right now is actually this one specific detail: Fred, at 18 or 19, is not a legal adult. Not in Victorian England (where the age of majority was 21) or in modern day Japan where he's being written (the age of majority in Japan is currently 20).

So, he's the youngest on the team by a few years, and, yes, he's actually the only minor in the on the team.

But I think he comes across as "younger" than the others because he's initially less entrenched and more in doubt of things, and he's much more openly kind and hopeful than the others. He doesn't have the same angry jadedness. And even in Baskervilles, his warm heart is compared to William's own. He is the one with the same love and idealism as our disaster boy. So that probably contributes a lot to the impression.

So anyway, I think this is a reminder that fanon is fun and gut instincts make sense, but sometimes it's important to double check canon before getting too caught up in something not making any sense, 'cause sometimes we forget or misremember things. I know I have, and sometimes when I'm writing longer meta, I've got to double check myself because my memory is good but not infallible.

[saucy-mesothelioma]

Meso's Mixtapes: Tabitha Scarlet

Jesus it's been a hot minute since I've done one of these.

I got into Scarlet Hollow one or two months ago when I got the game on sale then proceeded to play through it four separate times in one day, so it was only a matter of time before I wanted to contribute to the fanbase. And since it's been a while since I've done a playlist, I figured what better time than now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9 to 5 by Dolly Parton

Gotta Get Up by Harry Nilsson (I think this song fits Tabitha for two reasons: one having to do with where I first heard this song, and the other being the actual lyrics. First: I was introduced to this song from the TV show Russian Doll, which deals with a woman trapped in a time loop of her 36th birthday [It's a good show, I highly suggest it]. This song plays at the beginning of every loop, and thanks to that I associate this song with having to get up for those monotonous days that feel like you're reliving the same day over and over again. Due to Tabitha's job and general demeanor, I highly doubt that she doesn't view her normal routine as being the exact same thing over and over again. Secondly, we have the actual lyrics for this song: "We used to carry on and drink and do the rock and roll | We never thought we'd get old, though | We never thought we'd grow cold, but now". When Tabitha was younger, she was able to prioritize her relationships rather than her work. She was able to hang out with her friends even with her mother constantly over her shoulder for the most part, but when she got older, she was forced to shift her focus to her work. She used to be able to go over to Stella's every day, but now she's got a mine to look after.)

Lucretia My Reflection by Sisters of Mercy

Barton Hollow by The Civil Wars

Alles im Griff (auf dem sinkenden Schiff) by Udo J��rgens (The primary theme of this song is saying that you're fine when everything is falling apart around you; the title basically translates to "Everything Under Control on the Sinking Ship". Despite all of the shit happening to Tabitha, her cousin, and her friends, her attitude always seems to be that of just bottling it up rather than really taking the time to completely process it, or at least that's how I see it. The ship of her life is slowly sinking, but she keeps going on as if things are more or less fine.)

Mrs. Bluebeard by They Might Be Giants

This Town by Jinkx Monsoon

Coal Miner's Daughter by Loretta Lyn (Ok yeah I couldn't help myself. The story of the song is so ironic when you compare it to that of the Scarlet family, but with the title is was too funny not to include in the list.)

Heroes by David Bowie

Dream a Little Dream of Me by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong

Get Out of My House by Kate Bush (Obvious secrets of Scarlet Estate aside, I think this song does a very good job of representing Tabitha's treatment of her relationships [both romantic and platonic]. The singer of this song is desperate to not only keep other's out of her life remove the "stains" of those she has previously let in. She's locked the door to her "house" and the mere suggestion of someone wanting to enter, no matter the reason, is cause for retaliation. One of the first things we really learn about Tabitha is that she's pretty much shut out those who were in her life, somewhat due to Pearlanne but also by her own means, and even with the player character she is still rather reluctant to fully let them in.)

Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now by The Smiths

Pressure by Billy Joel (It feels obvious to me that Tabitha was forced to grow up far quicker than she should have, primarily due to the expectations of her running the Scarlet Mines. She's had to deal with pressure her whole life: from her mother, from her job, and from the Scarlet legacy. She sees people like her cousin and Stella come in "with your faith and your Peter Pan advice", and especially in the case with her cousin she often laments that she is the one who must take on the pressures of the Scarlet name, primarily with the mine but also with the pain that their family has caused [such as with Charlie's payment of years].

Badlands by Bruce Springsteen

Poor Girl by X

Sans toi by Michel Legrand and Corinne Marchand (This is a song from the French new-wave film Cléo from 5 to 7, and it's a film that I personally think Tabitha would like because she can relate to parts of it)

My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit

I've No More Fucks to Give by Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq

Pretty Lavinia by American Murder Song

Kingdom Come by The Civil Wars (Despite feeling that the tone of this song fits her well, I also personally like the contrast it holds to Tabitha's view on her situation. Deep down, she wishes to run away like the subject of the song and have a peaceful, simple life of her own, but she feels unable and incapable of doing so. She can't fly away til kingdom come, because in her mind she has already fallen back into a fate she can't escape from.)

[splinter-cat]

I don't know enough about our history/history in general to answer many of the questions, sadly, but I'll try for a couple:

4. Honestly this is hard, because I love inserting trans OCs into any historical show I watch and they all have different challenges that would be interesting to see. I think what I come back to most though is something like Downton Abbey.

So for example for a Downton Abbey like setting, I picture a trans man as one of the footmen. I'm not much interested in the noble/upper class characters tbh but to see how he navigates being around them would be interesting to me, especially where the jobs themselves were so gendered (to my knowledge). I've heard (though not confirmed) that many footmen were queer because nobles wanted less risk of their daughters getting with the servants/getting pregnant, so I'd like to see him interacting with other queer men, too.

The thing that makes a Downton Abbey setting more interesting than say a Bridgerton setting to me is WWI. So if that happened during the series, what happens to our lead? Does he sign up and go to war? Or does he not want the risk of being discovered? How does he deal with people who question why he's not going? Etc.

I'd also be interested in a broader look at the era, too, like comparing and contrasting the experiences of the trans man working as a servant to nobles vs one working in a factory, because the cultures were very different.

7. I honestly don't know, like I did have a couple incidents when I was younger where I might have just died without modern medicine sooooo setting those aside I'd probably go for... probably post Civil War and pre WWI? If I had a to choose a time in American history that is, I don't know enough about world history other than "a lot of it sucked for a lot of people." I'd much rather avoid any major wars, idk. I honestly probably wouldn't have figured myself out, I'd just know I had the desire to wear and do "men's" things but the fear that I wasn't allowed them would probably have outweighed that without a community around me (I didn't even figure myself out until after years and years of being around online trans communities). I think I would have avoided having kids as much as possible.

8. Hopefully my writing, I'd like to break into screenwriting one day and it'd be cool to be known for creating/running TV shows about queer characters.

since October is queer history month:

who is your favorite historical trans man/transmasc?

what areas of transmasc history do you wish were more discussed?

which historical trans men/transmascs deserve more attention & praise today?

if you could have a period drama starring a transmasc main character, where and when would it be set? who would the character be?

who is your favorite transmasc activist from history? what did they do?

what are some things you think people misunderstand or don't consider when talking about transmasculine history?

(for transmascs) If you had to live in a different point in history (pre-1950s!), where and when would you choose? how do you think you would have navigated life as a transmasc?

(for transmascs) if you became a famous transmasc icon, what would you be known for?

answer in reblog and tags, @ your friends, use this as an ask game, whatever you want!

[thetrinitarianmystery]

A Frog Somewhere: On Perfectionism, pt. 2

A Frog Somewhere

I am One with the great Silence, and I am the calling-forth: The echo of “Who am I?” In the stillness of “I AM.”

Again and again, my assertion; My falling over myself, responding. Can it be? How can I be? And why at this time, now?

( )

But for every call to righteousness— For every cry for being— There is a foggy, sleeping pond;

And a frog somewhere, I’d like to think, who knows not one thing about me.

------------

I wrote in my last post about perfectionism. I would like to continue that discussion here. The usual story I tell when asked about my intellectual history is that my interest in science originated from my love for the woods around my childhood home in Hudson, Massachusetts. I was fascinated by the sights and sounds of the New England deciduous forest. I loved rocks and minerals, trees and frogs, and I wanted to learn everything about them. When I studied biology in high school, I loved it; but they asked us to take some results from chemistry for granted, such as the details of the Krebs cycle or photosynthesis. This didn’t sit well with me: how could I claim to understand biology if I didn’t understand the “facts” on which it is based? When I studied chemistry, they told us to take some results from physics for granted, such as electron orbital shapes. When I studied physics, they told us to take some results from mathematics for granted. When I studied mathematics, they told us that we have to take axioms and logical rules of inference for granted; and when I thought about this further, everything started to unravel a bit. I then spent some time with philosophy and mysticism, and now the whole picture is coalescing again. That is the usual story. But the blog sees the inside scoop 😉 The more complete story is that while the descent from the forest to the study of physics and mathematics was certainly influenced by ongoing intellectual curiosity, it was also motivated by the desire to be seen as intelligent or successful. Physics and mathematics are generally regarded as some of the hardest subjects, so part of my reason for studying it in college was just to prove that I could. It’s hard to say when exactly perfectionism crept into my thinking. I was singled out as intelligent from a very young age by my parents and by metrics in school, such as grades and awards, and eventually by class rank and GPA in high school, as well as roles like class president, team captain, etc. It became a part of my social identity within my family and among my friends to be relatively successful at everything I pursued. It is fairly clear to me that my family circumstance also contributed to my problems with perfectionism. I am one of ten children of my parents, and as such I may have received less individual attention than I would have in a smaller family. Perhaps as a result of being such a large group of people, it sometimes felt like we all were implicitly competing for our parents’ and each others’ attention and approval. This only reinforced the sense of an existential need to be exceptional. I can see that this implicit competition drove both my insecurities and my goals. My insecurities growing up were mostly about my stature, since I was always a tall and very lanky boy. I didn’t have the strength or build of my older brother, David. I also didn’t have the confidence and fierce, go-getter mentality of my older sister, Carmen. I don’t think I really compared myself with my younger siblings in the same way. But I see that my “angle” toward being different or “better than” my older brother and sister was to be the smartest or most accomplished, especially in a “hard” STEM field; and hence this became one of my goals. ...

Continued On WordPress

[gabby-salvador]

Swampcon

I have been to quite a few conventions as a kid, and Swampcon was surprisingly not much different from the bigger conventions that I used to go to, including New York Comic Con and Otacon in Washington DC. Although the convention was much smaller, the energy was very much the same as the bigger conventions.

The first experience I had at Swampcon 2023 was as a volunteer at registration. Although it may not seem like I would be able to experience much while volunteering, I actually felt the excitement of all the people attending the most while I was a volunteer. This was actually the first convention that I have been able to be part of the volunteer/staff crew, and I am pretty glad that I did it. Not only was the energy of the attendees immense, the energy of the volunteers during my shift were as well. Everyone was very excited to be there, and I got to volunteer with a couple of classmates as well! During my shift, I got to have a couple of conversations with those registering: there were actually quite a few people who traveled a couple of hours to come to the convention (mainly because they heard of it from their friends who went to UF). I was also very impressed by the number of people who cosplayed for the convention as well, and I recognized quite a few costumes that impressed me, such as Asuka from Sword Art Online. Some of the cosplayers even told me that they created their costumes themselves rather than bought it online! 

As a kid, I actually cosplayed as younger characters such as Nanako from Persona 4, Wendy (during the Tartarus Arc) from Fairy Tail, and many others. While I cosplayed, I would often bring a lot of attention because of the fact that it was unusual to see a younger child cosplaying. However, to my surprise, I saw quite a few child cosplayers who came with their family, and there were also a couple of families where all family members were cosplaying.

Once I finished my shift, I ended up immediately heading over to the Artist Alley and Vendor Hall. As I went around the convention, I was pretty excited to see what kind of doujinshi I would be able to find (and even buy) for myself. My experience in the Artist Alley was definitely different compared to what I experienced as a kid, although I think that it is partially due to the fact that I don’t remember much from the conventions that I attended. I felt like I was able to better appreciate the art of the vendors, especially now that I have grown up and watched much more anime than the ones that I stuck to as a kid. In the Artist Alley, I saw the typical posters and paintings made by vendors that you would normally see at pretty much every convention. To my surprise, I actually also ended up finding a booth which had real animal skulls, insects (and other miscellaneous animal/insect body parts) in a jar, which I was actually scared of looking at because I am an avid animal lover who does not like to see them displayed. I also found a booth with soaps, bath bombs, and other shower supplies which I didn’t think you would normally find in an Artist Alley. My personal favorite merch that I saw, however, was actually the stickers (which I have on my computer at the moment). I also really liked these artworks which were painted on glass, but I did not have the money to pay for them.

Overall, I definitely felt more connected to the experience of attending conventions and the fandom culture within it, especially after our discussion about culture capital, otaku, and doujinshi during class. Compared to Genshiken, I definitely feel like this convention was much more lively and diverse than the one that they displayed in the first part of Genshiken. I was able to experience, and meet, quite a few people with various personalities and interests, which was much more different from those that attended the convention in Genshiken because the people attending all seemed like they had the same personality. I also felt like the otaku at Swampcon were much less obsessive and perverted than those displayed in Genshiken. I was also able to better grasp how vendors were able to actually “possess” anime as they displayed their own derivatives from it in pretty unique ways as well. I didn’t get to see much doujinshi, however I think that this was mainly due to how the convention is pretty family friendly. I definitely appreciated how the convention also allowed everyone to express their love for anime and manga without being judged by the world around them. Because of the lack of judgment from the outside world, otaku are able to genuinely express who they are as a person comfortably without feeling the need to conceal it, thus helping them better express their identity as a whole.

(P.S., Sorry for the bad pic, I swear I'm the one with the brown shorts)

[nounpolycule]

This thing for me is fine hate Rose people are entitled to their own opinion, but Dan is the hill to die on?? Dan is peak character writing and representation?? Dan??

Also, the "try liking a character that gets actual sexism and racism on the daily" is getting to me. What does that even mean?? This is talking about working class characters? The way they said it implies that Dan goes through racism and sexism everyday? Dan??

Yeah, honestly I couldn't give two shits about people hating Rose? People have been talking about how Rose is boring and a bitch and too stupid and so on for longer than I've known the show existed (a bit over a decade at this point), and they'll be saying the same shit until the end of the fandom's existence. I take issue, however, with acting like everyone who disagrees with you about a dumb (affectionate) little sci-fi show is stupid, especially when you're actively insulting them.

And yeah, there's like a lot to be said on the concept of "representation" in general. Other people have articulated this better than I ever will. If you focus too hard on a character being "representation", somewhere along the way, you lose the "character" part. Not every character that fits the same demographic(s) as you is going to feel like they match your experiences 100%, and they shouldn't! If no one person's experiences are universal, how can we expect a character to portray universal experiences without losing that piece that makes them feel more like a character than a plot device being used for diversity points? It's good to have diverse characters! I'm not joking when I say Jack Harkness was a stepping stone in realizing I'm a lesbian - would it have taken me less time to realize if I'd had Bill to look up to when I was 13? Would I have felt comfortable with myself at a younger age if I'd seen a lesbian character on my favorite show? I can only hope that that's what happened for people younger than me! But, at least to me, you lose something when you focus on "good representation" over diverse good characters.

The thing about looking at Rose through the lens of representation is that... that's not what she was designed to be? Her experiences inform her character, but her story isn't about that background. Sure, call her bad representation. She was never intended to be representation. It's not a fucking gotcha. She's a character first.

And with Dan... I can't see him as serious commentary. His house gets shrunk as a joke. His house stays shrunk as a joke. We do not see the ramifications of him losing his house, I don't really see that as commentary on poverty or homelessness when we don't actually see what happens to him afterwards. I won't tell anyone they can't see themselves in his character or situation, but to say that everyone should universally agree that he's more relatable is literally bringing us back to square one of "this character resonates more with me and therefore they are better universal representation and if you disagree you're just a basic bitch that needs to grow up." It's not productive. Besides, isn't the point of representation supposed to be that the more a particular marginalized experience is portrayed, the more likely it is that someone will find something that resonates with them?

And as for talking about Rose being a disservice to Dan... I haven't seen anyone comparing Dan and Rose aside from OP. I won't say it doesn't exist, clearly we do not run in the same circles, but it's not something I see at all. Though if we want to get down to it - yeah, I see my experiences (admittedly as an American) more in Rose than Dan. And that's okay. I'm a young adult who has barely left home whose experiences of being poor are colored by that - of course I'm going to see myself in the 19 year old still living with her mom than the 50-something year old who is living on his own. But that doesn't mean I can't respect people who feel differently.

As for "try liking a character that gets actual sexism and racism on the daily", I can only assume that they were talking about Yaz. But of course, as you said, the placement makes it sound like it's about Dan. It's a really weird place to start talking about Yaz, especially since they didn't actually mention her by name and she wasn't being discussed prior. And they did block my friend for pointing out that actually experiencing racism and such is worse than being a fan of a character that is treated that way by fans so... take that as you will.

Also no part of main tagging these posts (including one that begins "rose tyler is so fucking boring"), calling Rose fans "basic bitches" (again - whether or not you think calling Rose a bitch is misogynistic - calling real people, at least some of whom are women, bitches because they disagree with you is, in fact, misogynistic), and saying "#rose stans are so easy to wind up #just say you don't like her or she's bad rep #and they start crying and shitting themselves #it's so funny" reads as attempting to have a discussion about these characters in good faith. It's just so clearly deliberately trying to start shit. Like grow up, it's 2023, get a hobby less reminiscent of a middle school bully.

Also like. You didn't mention it at all but I will talk about Rose's ending (especially looking at Doomsday specifically) being 1. a punishment rather than a reward, and 2. really horrifying to me, actually (from a power imbalance perspective, not just a Rose fan perspective) until I'm blue in the face. And also I do find it funny that someone said that "Rose Tyler and Charlie Bucket are a fantasy, that if you work, behave and are good at heart, you will get the ultimate treasure in capitalist society, capital." Like first of all I know it was someone on the pro-Rose side that brought it up, but I don't think the Charlie comparison is worthwhile at all. Second of all, I love her but what part of Rose's story is her working and behaving and that's how she ends up rich? Babe didn't work for money (though she did work to be undercover for what, a week?) onscreen a single day after the Doctor blew up her job. Since when is Rose "jeopardy friendly" Tyler known for behaving? And if half of your point is that she's a bitch... well that kills "good at heart" a bit, doesn't it?

[newtonsheffield]

Idk about your comfort level with the topic so please feel free to ignore this but I just wanted to say I feel the same way about dating. It just doesn’t seem to be in the cards for me, and I don’t want to put all this time and energy desperately looking for someone out of a societally-shaped fear of not being in a relationship. Have people told you things like “oh, you still have so much time, it’ll happen for you,” and “it’ll happen when you least expect it,” “you’ve got to put yourself out there more,” and if so, do you have a good response to that? I get told this all the time and I know they’re not coming from a malicious place but I’m tired of hearing it. Especially when I want to carve my happiness out of other things, and not spend my life feeling like I’m missing out.

Anyways, whether or not you answer (which of course is totally up to you), thank you for sharing that on here because it made me feel less alone. My thought process was basically if someone as cool as Molly thinks this way then maybe I’m not in the wrong and there’s some truth to that concept.

First of all, the fact that I would ever be considered cool is... concerning. I am the biggest dork you'll find.

So here's the thing, yeah people say that all the time. They can't seem to help themselves. Random friends of my Mum think it's coffee table conversation, and it's really uncomfortable. And It's a little disheartening and annoying because obviously, yeah, if it was an option I would want it, but it's not for me for whatever reason right now. I live in a small area and I'm just... not meeting people right now and honestly, I've sort of lost interest in the whole awful process of it all for it to come to nothing and that's fine. I'm focusing on myself.

Comparatively, my sister has known her husband since she was 20 and she was married at 23. So like... Yeah. There's that that people love comparing to.

I usually say this: "Yeah, I'm obviously in a really different point in my life than I thought I'd be when I was younger. I would have thought I'd be married by now but I also thought my husband would be Daniel Radcliffe."

But in all seriousness, I am at a different point in my life than I thought I'd be, and all the things I watched my sister grow up and do with her husband, I'm doing by myself. But I'm not going to stop myself from actually living my life, waiting for something that might never happen. I used to work with someone who didn't want to travel until she was married or get a dog before she was married and like, yeah, cool. But what if that doesn't happen?

Don't limit yourself that way.

I'm open to things if they happen, but I'm not seeking them out. I still have a pretty fulfilling life and here's the truth that we as human beings don't want to admit:

If you weren't enough for yourself, another person won't magically fix that.

Like I said, I'm not sure anyone should be taking life advice from me but that's my two cents

[robininthelabyrinth]

I saw you mention this in one of your posts and this sounds like a swell idea! Something where JGY figures out that NHS is The Scary One before he touches a hair on NMJ’s head. :D

on ao3

When his father said that someone ought to get rid of Nie Mingjue, that he was in their way, that he would never stop, Jin Guangyao’s first thought was about the Song of Clarity that Lan Xichen was teaching him – and the Song of Turmoil, that he’d taught himself in one of his secret visits to the Lan sect library. He’d long ago noticed the similarities between the two tunes, one to help and the other to harm; it wasn’t similar enough to fool anyone skilled in music, of course, much less in musical cultivation, but Nie Mingjue rather infamously wasn’t.

His second thought was: let’s wait and see.

Perhaps it was only that it had been a very long day, and Jin Guangyao was tired, feeling unusually surly and dissatisfied. But it occurred to him that it wouldn’t do his father any harm to have to actually ask for something from him, rather than merely hint at it and have Jin Guangyao run to do it for him before he even finished the sentence – a rather unpleasant comparison had been made between Jin Guangyao and a poodle earlier that day, and he was still sore.

So yes.

Let’s wait and see.

-

Waiting was not, it seemed, paying off.

His father’s hinting had grown all the more intense, although he had not yet actually asked, and as for Nie Mingjue...

Nie Mingjue had promised to try to trust him again, Jin Guangyao thought to himself with a sigh, but most days it seemed that the only thing he trusted was that Jin Guangyao was up to something.

He scolded and he scowled and he questioned, always looking for loopholes and tricks hidden behind every word and gesture, never giving him the benefit of the doubt on a single thing. Jin Guangyao thought nostalgically back to the days when Nie Mingjue would simply present him with a problem that needed taking care of and tell him to deal with it as he saw fit, trusting not only in his competence in dealing with it but also in his judgment of how things ought to be resolved.

They said that trust was like a priceless porcelain vase: once shattered, it would never be whole again, even if it was repaired.

Jin Guangyao supposed that he deserved it for letting himself get caught like that.  An amateur’s mistake, but you only needed one of those to ruin everything.

But if it couldn’t be fixed…

He was just contemplating the Song of Turmoil again as he walked through the halls of the Unclean Realm when Nie Huaisang unexpectedly tackled him around the waist, making him Jin Guangyao stagger back and nearly fall – poor cultivator or no, Nie Huaisang had some heft to him, and plenty of muscle from years of running from his brother’s attempts to make him train.

“You have to help me, san-ge!” Nie Huaisang said, eyes wide and pathetic in such a patently unauthentic way that Jin Guangyao had an immediate stabbing feeling of empathy, an affliction he almost never suffered from. What a little scoundrel you are, he thought, not without fondness. “Da-ge’s on my case again. Scolding and scowling and trying to catch me in some sort of trick – and I would never play a trick on him, never - not in a million years -”

It occurred to Jin Guangyao that perhaps Nie Mingjue really did treat him as a younger brother, and it was only that he’d incorrectly assumed that he’d be treated as being somewhat more capable than the man’s actual younger brother.

Who was, he conceded, probably equally untrustworthy when it came to the likelihood of playing tricks on his too-earnest older brother, even if the tricks Nie Huaisang generally played were significantly lower in both quality and importance than his own…

“Huaisang! Where are you – ah, Meng Yao. What are you doing here?” Nie Mingjue asked, blinking at him. “Anything urgent?”

“Ah – no?” Jin Guangyao said. “I came to play for you, da-ge, you remember – er-ge said –”

“Right, of course,” Nie Mingjue said, in the tones of a man who had completely forgotten. “Could I borrow you for something else while you’re here? Perhaps Huaisang will learn better if it’s not just me.”

“Of course, da-ge,” Jin Guangyao said. It was always better to do someone a favor than the other way around, to better use it later, and Nie Mingjue almost never asked him for anything. “What are you trying to teach him?”

“How to run a sect,” Nie Mingjue said, lifting Nie Huaisang by the waist. “No, Huaisang,” he added when the younger man whined. “You do not get a choice.”

With that said, he lifted the younger man above his head – Nie Huaisang, as mentioned, was not light, but Nie Mingjue didn’t seem to notice – and walked back towards his office.

Jin Guangyao followed, torn between wondering if this was the reason that the ceilings in the Unclean Realm were all so high and being unable to keep himself from doing the math: Nie Huaisang weighed more than Jin Guangyao did, being both heavier and thicker around the middle, so if it was Jin Guangyao that Nie Mingjue was holding, it could be estimated that he could hold him up for at least an hour, and even longer if he was braced against something convenient such as a wall –

He shook his head to rid himself of the useless thoughts. He would need all his cunning about him if he was going to embark on the difficult mission of trying to get Nie Huaisang to actually learn something, especially something as boring as sect management.

Questions of assassination were, comparatively, much easier.

-

The problem, Jin Guangyao discovered, was not, as he’d suspected, in keeping Nie Huaisang’s attention.

It was in everything else.

“ – and the sect leader is now requesting assistance,” Nie Mingjue concluded his summary of the situation behind the letter that they had received, laying out both the actual content of the letter, the implications behind it, and the background necessary to make a decision so efficiently that Jin Guangyao lost his head for a moment and imagined what life would be like if he could hire Nie Mingjue as his deputy. His life would be so much easier. “How do you respond?”

Nie Huaisang heaved a sigh. “That’s obvious!”

It was. The request was far more than this particular sect really deserved, given its past behavior (rather despicable) and the moderately high chance that they were simply trying to get the Nie sect to pay for benefits that would later go to themselves or, at best, the Jiang sect, but granting the request would not seriously damage the Nie sect’s coffers and would lay the groundwork for a better relationship in the future –

“We write a letter that heavily hints about what we know that the sect leader did in the past, expressing our concern and indicating that we received the information from the Jiang sect in a moment of indiscretion,” Nie Huaisang said happily. “He’ll be so distraught at the thought of potential blackmail from them that he’ll beg us for assistance, and we’ll be able to extract additional benefits before finally agreeing to –”

“No, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, even as Jin Guangyao boggled at the sheer wretched cleverness of the idea. It would work perfectly to isolate the other party through their own paranoia, leaving them feeling that they had no other way out but to throw themselves on the Nie sect’s mercy – there wasn’t a limit to what could be extracted that way. “If he’s so untrustworthy as all that, we don’t actually want him, do we? He’ll just betray us next time he can. No, we write to him the way we would anyone who wasn’t our dependent and lay out our terms, free and clear; if he wants better ones, he knows what to do.”

“People don’t have to be trustworthy to be useful, da-ge,” Nie Huaisang whined, and the infantile tone of his voice very nearly disguised the fact that he was saying something incredibly insightful. Not at all something Jin Guangyao would have expected to come out of the mouth of one of the Nie sect, much less Nie Huaisang, the most useless of them all. “They don’t even have to know they’re being used to be useful! I can think of at least three ways we could use –”

“The answer is no. Besides, I thought you liked Sect Leader Jiang?”

“Yes, but he’s far too direct to be dealing with someone like this – think of it as us ridding him of a pest! We could –”

“Huaisang.”

Nie Huaisang sighed.

-

“ – but if you would only consider what we could achieve with just a little bit of bribery –”

“Huaisang.”

“But it’s such a small amount! I could do it with my own pocket money!”

“Huaisang.”

“Ugh, fine, have it your way, we’ll just ask, I guess…”

-

“Oh, wow, that’s a tough one. Uh…murder?”

“Huaisang!”

“What?! It was a reasonable guess!”

“It was not a reasonable guess!”

“We wouldn’t let anyone know that we were the ones that – I’m making it worse, aren’t I?”

“Yes, Huaisang. You’re making it worse.”

-

“I’m guessing the answer isn’t going to be blackmail?”

“That’s correct.”

“And not it’s bribery, either.”

“No.”

“Definitely not beating him up…”

“Huaisang, are you trying to get the answer by process of elimination?”

“It’s a valid strategy to figure out the answers to test questions!”

“This isn’t a test question, it’s real life!”

“No, it’s a test, because if it was real life, I could use blackmail.”

-

“…you know what,” Nie Huaisang said after a couple of moments of serious contemplation. “I actually have no idea what I’d do in that situation. San-ge? Can I have an assist?”

Jin Guangyao had managed, over the past shichen or so, to get ahold of himself. He shrugged apologetically. “I must admit that I’m at a loss myself. It seems like an especially tricky situation.”

The situation in question involved the crimes of an extremely well-connected individual, with interests from all over the cultivation world deep in his pockets; he would be a difficult man to cross. Moreover, he was well known for his perfidy, rendering blackmail useless, and well-off enough to make bribes pointless; mere intimidation was also out, given his connections – he’d already gone through a “trial”, if it could be described as such, and he’d only used it to cleanse himself. In such a situation, Jin Guangyao would probably hang back out of caution, seeking further information and hoping that an appropriate situation would appear that he could take advantage, but Nie Mingjue had specified that there was a time limit involved…

Nie Mingjue groaned. “You’re both overthinking it: for once, murder is the right answer.”

“Wait, it is?” Jin Guangyao asked, staring at him blankly. “I mean - what exactly do you mean, murder?”

“The man slaughtered children in broad daylight! The evidence is unquestionable and undeniable; he should be executed immediately.”

“But – his connections –”

“That’s why there’s a time limit,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes on both of them. “If you do it quickly enough, it gets attributed to the hair-trigger Nie temper going out of control and everyone treats it like a casualty in the face of a force of nature – the same way you’d shrug off the death of someone who got in the way of a hurricane or tsunami.”

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang said. “I see.”

Jin Guangyao envied him: he most certainly did not see. Since when was outright murder a possible weapon in the Nie sect’s diplomatic arsenal?

“Speaking of which, I’ve already delayed long enough, trying to teach you something,” Nie Mingjue added. “Huaisang, can you host Meng Yao for dinner? I’ll be back later this evening.”

“Of course, da-ge! Count on me!”

Nie Mingjue nodded at them both and strode out without another word.

“…where is he going?” Jin Guangyao asked.

“Presumably to go murder someone,” Nie Huaisang said, as if it were obvious, and then laughed, presumably at Jin Guangyao’s expression. “He always makes me practice with real questions, you know, though he does save them up if he can.”

“That wasn’t what I was surprised about,” Jin Guangyao admitted, because he’d already figured out – possibly for the first time – that Nie Huaisang almost certainly already knew what he was like under the smile. “It’s just…murder? Really? Da-ge?”

“Da-ge’s righteous, not kind,” Nie Huaisang said with a shrug. “Leave questions of mercy to the Lan sect! Here we believe that showing excess mercy to evildoers is itself committing a harm to their victims…ah, well, let’s not talk about it, shall we? If we do, I’ll just get another headache from trying to figure out the line between what I’m allowed to do and what I’m not allowed to do.”

“You know perfectly well what you’re allowed to do,” Jin Guangyao said, deliberately keeping his voice light rather than accusing. “You just want your brother to be a bit more open-minded.”

“He won’t be.” Nie Huaisang’s voice was fond. “He’s willing to pull those sorts of tricks when he has to – our exculpated murderer is an excellent example – but he’s never going to understand why anyone would pull a nasty trick if they had another choice…it’s just the way he is.”

He laughed, taking out his fan – a new one, Jin Guangyao observed – and lightly nudged Jin Guangyao in the side even as he hid his smile behind it.

“It’s fine, though,” he said. “Isn’t that why he has people like us?”

“Yes,” Jin Guangyao said, following Nie Huaisang to the dinner table, thoughts running through his mind. The Song of Turmoil – it would still work, more than likely, because Nie Mingjue would let him play it for him and him alone, and even Nie Huaisang needed clay to build bricks. But if he did it, and Nie Huaisang ever found out…

He thought that he might not like being Nie Huaisang’s opponent. 

He wasn’t sure which one of them would win and which would lose, of course, and he rather thought he’d bet on himself, but in all honesty he wouldn’t like to try. 

“In fact,” he said casually, “Huaisang, if you don’t mind, I have another situation that I’d be interested in hearing your thoughts on.”

“Not another one,” Nie Huaisang whined, but his eyes narrowed in blatant curiosity. “But all right, all right, just one more. Only for you, san-ge, and only because I like you so much.”

Jin Guangyao smiled. “I appreciate it. Now, for the situation: assume there are two sect leaders, and one of them wishes to eliminate the other through underhanded means…”

-

“Murder, I think,” Nie Huaisang said thoughtfully. “No – most definitely murder. There is no other path forward. The only question is, I suppose: how much do you want your father to suffer during the process?”

Jin Guangyao smiled.

It was so nice to work with people that understood.

[insecateur]

From one person who writes/blogs in ESL to another, does English feel more "abstracted" to you than your original one, subjectively speaking? I sorta feel like English is less *raw*, or maybe more fanciful, in some vague way than BR-PT to me, maybe just cuz I use it in a more abstracted medium for the most part...

sorry for taking a while to answer, i saw this while i was busy doing something else and then i was like hmm, i need some time to think about this

i don't know if i would say i feel like english feels more abstracted to me than french..? i do think i have a different relationship with english than i have with french.

i actually used to really struggle with writing prose in english because english felt "flatter." french feels kind of overcomplicated compared to english in many ways; even now that i'm more used to writing in english regularly i still struggle sometimes because i discover that there are nuances in french that don't exist in english at all. like, can you believe that both "mur" and "paroi" are just "wall" in english?? that seems insane to me because they're words that convey such a distinct meaning. like "mur" is a constructed thing while "paroi" is a natural occurrence. so a castle would have "murs" and a cave would have "parois" but in english both castles and caves have walls! this might seem like a random example but i actually ran into this when i was writing one of my recent ficlets haha.

anyway, i do think i kind of see what you mean in a way though. english has always been linked to the internet for me; nobody in my family can speak it even on like. a basic level so online in the only place i use english. when i was younger there were definitely times when i felt kind of like english was the language i could be "myself" in while french was the language i had to use in real life with people who didn't really know the real me. it got worse when i realized i was trans and became effectively "closeted" irl while online all of my friends knew who i was (although of course i also had french friends who knew who i was.)

but honestly i feel like i've lost that distance overtime... especially now that i write a lot in english for reasons other than straight up communication with other people. i've definitely gotten over my hang ups about english feeling "flatter" too. i think i'm able to write prose as nicely in english as i used to in french. i'd even say my english style has steadily gotten closer to my french style, though in a slightly different manner (because there are things that just won't ever translate perfectly)

uhhhhhhh in any case idk if that answers your question😭but i'm always happy to talk about languages (in case that wasn't obvious considering i just rambled for so long) so thank you for indulging me once again

[helioleti]

I've been rewatching ATLA several times lately and this time I especially ended up wondering a lot about Iroh and Ozai's past and characters in general. I just can't help but think it weird that Ozai is the ultimate trashbag of a humanbeing while Iroh ended up preaching harmony and peace. It just doesn't make any sense. These guys are brothers. They were brought up by the same parents, in the same fascist imperialistic nation, they were taught the same values growing up. You're trying to tell me the difference is that Iroh was destined to be the person he eventually came to be, but Ozai was just born evil? No, I don't think so.

I have two hot takes that I'm gonna elaborate:

1. Iroh had a guidance Ozai lacked

2. Ozai was the less favored son

(Disclaimer: I haven't read the comics yet so I don't know how deep they've already gone into this subject at some point. I'm trying to interpret and analyze the stuff that I got from the animated series only. If anything I say contradicts what has already been confirmed in the comics, feel free to correct me.)

Hear me out. Iroh wasn't born a saint. Everyone is aware of this, especially Iroh himself. He laid siege to Ba Sing Se for 2 years, costing the Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom thousands of lives. Everyone knew that if the Fire Nation took over the capital, it meant almost ultimate victory for the Fire Nation. He even went as far as making a offhand sadistic jokes about burning the city to the ground in that letter to Zuko and Azula.

Iroh acknowledges it himself; He was a different man.

So what changed?

Yes, his son died. It broke and shattered him from the inside, making him drop all efforts to continue fighting in the war. To continue what had been his lifelong ambition, what he believed to be his destiny. He had a literal vision about taking over Ba Sing Se when he was a child, and that had been what he'd been pursuing ever since. But the death of his son managed to crumble all of that into nothingness. How is that possible?

Don't get me wrong. I think it's completely valid. I just don't understand how Lu Ten and Iroh could've had such a loving and caring relationship in the first place, when that's clearly something unusual among the royal family. Ozai burned and banished Zuko without a second thought, not to mention all the other shit he did to him growing up. Ozai didn't give two shits about Azula either, he only ever intended to use her as his weapon. Doesn't seem too surprising, if you ask me. Azulon didn't hesitate to demand that Ozai kill his own son if he wanted the throne. That's the man that raised Ozai, so it's just logical that Ozai learned that behavior and those values from his own father.

Even 9 year old Azula thinks it laughable that Iroh would fall apart at the death of his son. She is a child and this is how she thinks. The reason Zuko doesn't think like this is because he's had the guidance of his mother, unlike Azula. This is the kind of mentality these kids grow up with. They grew up with war and so did Iroh and Ozai.

So why was Iroh's relationship with Lu Ten so different? Where did Iroh experience the kind of compassion and love he passed on to his own son, that Ozai definitely didn't? People act on how they've come to learn, so where did Iroh learn to care about his son to a point that it made him give up on his lifelong ambition?

Let's review a very crucial information we have on Iroh and Ozai as siblings: They have a huge age gap.

Frankly, I'm guessing about 10-20 years. Looks more like 20 to me, but that could also be Iroh's greater amount of endured pain and war making him look older than he actually is. But no one can deny that an age gap is definitely there. Which can also indicate they had different upbringings, despite having grown up in the same family as brothers.

What does this mean? Well, that's just me theorizing now, but I can definitely imagine that Iroh had someone, a family member maybe, there for him who wasn't around or didn't care to be when Ozai grew up. There must've been someone there who gave Iroh emotional security and guidance throughout his upbringing. Who? That's up to imagination. A friend of the family? A friendly uncle? His own mother ((or father))? (The last two things worked out for Zuko in the end, didn't they?) Otherwise I can't really explain myself why Iroh had enough values to love the way he loved Lu Ten, while Ozai clearly didn't give two fucks about his children at any point in his life.

Iroh was the firstborn son, the one who had a vision very early in his life that his destiny was to take over Ba Sing Se. Probably the one who got to have a family member care about him enough to show him how to love.

(I like to point this out a lot because I find it very interesting, and very significant. Please A:TLA give us more info on Iroh's past!!)

Which brings me to my second take: Ozai was the less favored son.

Iroh was clearly a son to be proud of. He was a master firebender, the "Dragon of the West", if you will. He apparently had a vision as a boy that he'd conquer the most "impenetrable city" in the world. He probably lived up to his parent's expectations for his whole life, especially having no sibling to be compared to for a significant part of his life. He broke through the outter wall of Ba Sing Se during his siege. Yada yada yada, you get my point. He's the best son they could've wished for.

And Ozai? As far as I know, he barely even has any military achievements. Taking over Ba Sing Se was Azula's doing. While Iroh laid siege to the capital, he was at home chilling in the palace. He's the younger brother to an established hero and was never meant to be firelord. Now, I haven't read the comics for more info on Ozai's biography, but this man barely had a chance to live up to his parent's standards with Iroh as an older brother. If my theory is correct, Ozai also didn't have any person to provide him emotional guidance throughout his life. (*cough* like Azula)

The logical outcome is: infinite jealousy.

And when Ozai suggests to Azulon that he revoke Iroh's birthright to become firelord, this is Azulon's answer:

Azulon doesn't even hesitate to call Ozai out on his bullshit. He doesn't hesitate to take offense at the suggestion of betraying Iroh, and he even seems to care about Iroh's suffering. Not to mention that Azulon is overall annoyed with Ozai's request for an audience and sends the rest of Ozai's family away as soon as he can, to get whatever it is Ozai wants over with.

I could also mention the fact that Ozai tried to impress Azulon with his daughter's skills (Azula, even named after him) and the overall strained relationship these two seem to exhibit. It's obviously very different from Azulon's relationship with Iroh, if the way he talks about said man is anything to show for.

What if Azulon treated Ozai the same way Ozai treated Zuko? (Probably without the physical abuse, but you get my point.) What if this is where Ozai learned to treat a "useless" kid like shit, maybe also in a way to cope with how he was treated himself?

Getting deeper into the fact that Ozai is rather a loser compared to Iroh, without any big military achievements and without value for anything beyond that, this also explains a lot about Ozai's constant need to establish his dominance.

First; Becoming Firelord through radical manners (you know, killing his own son or killing his own father)

Second; Publicly burning and banishing his own son whom he considers a weakling, who dared to speak up in his war room. Doing this to have everyone know that he doesn't associate himself with weakness and that he will not ever tolerate any form of disrespect.

Third; The whole Phoenix King act. No one can tell me this isn't a madman's doing. This is literally to show off that he is the most powerful person in the world.

Ozai is so obsessed with proving himself and his superiority to everyone, including himself and probably Iroh too. This makes most sense if we consider that he probably lived in his brother's shadow for his whole life, ignored by probably every guiding figure he's ever had in his life, maybe even considered a laughingstock by his own father.

Perhaps this is also the reason Ozai didn't have any problem with Iroh accompanying Zuko in banishment. His brother, the hero in whose shadow he grew up, and his son, the failure he'd wanted out of the way for a long time already. It would erase Iroh's image that made him superior to him, once and for all. For himself and the world. I believe that branding him a traitor was the biggest satisfaction Ozai had ever experienced in his life.

I absolutely despise Ozai with every fibre of my heart, but it amazes me how ATLA continues to leave so much room for interpretation and explanation for a character as despicable as him. Writing this, even had me feel sympathy for him at some point. Feel free to disagree with me or add anything, I'm eager to hear everyone's thoughts about Ozai and Iroh's backstories because I'm geniuinely very curious.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

The issue with AVP Requiem or what I think it is

I’d like to inform you all that I love this wallpaper/poster. It’s simple, yet perfect.

I know it’s weird I talk about this film still to this day. This isn’t going to be a review. But I have thought about watching the first two AVP films and give an honest review in different posts. Yet I wanted to say what I personally think and...what I have collected from so many reviews and reactions of this movie.

I’m not going to mindlessly rant or anything. And I feel like as someone who has seen AVP2R God knows how many times. Maybe 50, a 100, a thousand? A thousand seems extreme. But the reason I’m saying this because in some ways...I still like this movie. Yet for only some reasons. Now, let me get to the point. Despite many others have already talked about this movie to death.

And...these two films stick with me. I find it amusing I watched this shit in theaters on Christmas day with my dad and younger brother. And saw it again another time with my nana. I have thought to myself of feeling bad of getting them for taking me to see Requiem in theaters. 

But...they really do stay with me. Here’s what I wrote.

-

From what I personally think. Aliens Vs Predator Requiem was made by people (The directors and maybe the writer) who loved Alien and Predator. But sadly didn’t understand what made those films impactful. Compared to Paul W.S. Anderson’s flawed, but workable AVP film where he genuinely tried to respect the canon of Alien. And with my memory of the first AVP. Despite however you feel about Anderson’s movie. There was thought put into it. Because Anderson is a fan as well.

AVP Requiem is basically the kind of film Anderson didn’t want to make. AVP Requiem is sadly what happens when you don’t try to write good characters, character arcs, or whatever else. It is a film where the Xenomorphs and Yautja are thrown into a slasher film in a sense. A film that the older films (Mainly Alien, Aliens, and Predator that many hold high in regard) didn’t try to do.

And with the original ending having the characters be killed by the military being changed to a less bleak ending. I genuinely think that’s what the Brothers Strause and Shane Salerno (Who I am still surprised that he was the writer of Armageddon because I consider that one of Bay’s better movies) were intending to do. What I have dubbed a “Nihilistic gore fest” that was just to hammer in that R rating compared to the first film. The stars are basically the Yautja and Xenomorphs...that to me seems to be the point of the film. It’s basically a bloody wet dream for fans. 

Aliens Vs Predator Requiem is nihilistic gore fest that features homages from older films. It’s basically a low budget slasher film with both iconic creatures. And ten-year old me fucking loved that shit. In some cases, I still do.

But when your film is simply just that. Especially taking in consideration some of the choices that were made with this film. I do question how was this film even made? Even learning from AVPGalaxy’s review recently that Fox wasn’t showing anything for several months about this movie. Along with having a lower budget than the last film.

I will admit some things. I strangely appreciate how fucking bold this movie is with how hard R it is. Despite it doesn’t make the movie better, and everyone has the right to criticize the decisions made with this movie. Particularly the Predalien’s ability to do with pregnant women. I have seen some dark films. As in thematically. But AVP Requiem is still to me one of the darkest movies that sticks with me.

To be honest, I still love the practical effects and designs of the creatures. They are still some of my favorites in the franchise. And I really like Wolf and the Predalien. The Xenomorphs in this movie are in interesting subject for me. But like I have said on Twitter before or something. It is a sin that the lighting is so shit that I hate the director’s excuse for it being so dark. 

I also love the score by Brain Tyler. Especially with his score referencing previous films. Which is something I loved and learned on AVPGalaxy when making this that was the case with the score.

Another thing, I’m more of a Predator fan. I’m a Yautja fanboy. But I do love the Alien series. Mainly the first two films and Isolation. I have made a ranking of Predator films. I HATE The Predator 2018 and consider it worse than Requiem for personal reasons. 

But if I ever did an Alien ranking of films. Requiem would indeed be at the last spot. Because setting the AVP films on Earth in the 21st century pretty much makes Ripley’s struggle to make sure the Xenomorphs never make it to Earth worthless. While the original Aliens comics had the Earth war. But that was after Aliens. So, the idea seemed fine.

The AVP films...mainly Requiem to me is a big middle finger to the Alien franchise. I honestly blame John Davis for this decision. Possibly Tom Rothman as well. I feel like if the AVP films took place maybe between Alien and Aliens on a colony planet. Then maybe some viewpoints may change. The negative reception may still be there. But at least the Alien canon would be fine.

I’m now reminded of Peter Briggs writing a AVP script and I’m just reading this article I have been looking for. https://www.avpgalaxy.net/website/articles/you-are-one-ugly-motherfu-my-wishlist-for-the-next-alien-vs-predator-film/ Even though I have my own issues with AVPGalaxy.

Do I think AVP2R is still one of the worst films I’ve seen? Yes. It deserves all the criticisms. But I’m glad at least the first two AVP films are in their own AU. Because they have their fans. And these two films stick with me. The first film is again, the reason I love these creatures. 

Despite how bad Requiem was. I wish we get a new AVP film someday. One many fans would love. Maybe something akin to AVP2 2001. I think I rambled long enough. That’s what I wanted to say about Requiem.

While I would strangely have an exact adaptation of the original AVP comics from 1990. The ones featuring Dachande and Machiko. I have thought recently that...maybe making an exact adaptation may not be the way. It all depends on the director and writer. 

These AVP films exist. A what if scenario if you can say that. And we have to live with them. 

Kind of like how Godzilla fans live with Godzilla 1998. Or how Sonic fans live with Sonic 06. The AVP movies are that. Yet I strangely like them for personal reasons. 

I still think The Predator 2018 is worse than AVP2R. 

[multifandoms27-blog]

AGE: 18

HEIGHT: 5’7”

EYE COLOR: Dark brown

SKIN TONE?: Warm Olive, tan

BIOLOGICAL SEX: AFAB

GENDER- Demi-boy / non-binary / boy (Guess you could just say I’m a “reverse trap” if that works then lol)

PRONOUNS: They/He

HAIR: Short and dark brown to black, kinda messy

BODY TYPE: Slim & fit

SEXUALITY: Demisexual and definitely attracted to (attractive) guys but I also think I’m Bi-Romantic, NOT Bi-sexual though (So..GAY?)

ASSUMED POSITION: Complete sub / bottom

STAR SIGN: Aquarius

PERSONALITY TYPE: INFP / INFJ

Calm and collected demeanor

Introverted

Fairly soft-spoken

Friendly + easy-going

Caring + sympathetic

(great) sense of humor ;)

A d0g person

Am confideable and a great listener

loyal but not clingy or super dependant on others

Shy but not a pushover

I am difficult to read / figure out + Takes a while for me to open up

Can be more outgoing when I’m at my best + and only if I’m extremely comfortable around you

I Naturally gravitate towards and make friends with down to earth and outgoing/extroverted people, or at least they are more extroverted than I am (they help bring me out though, I really am grateful for those kinds of people in my life, I adore them actually)

I LOVE people who are able to laugh with me and don’t take me as seriously as I tend to take myself

Love to be entertained by others

Scared of being vulnerable with my feelings (because of experiences)

I REALLY HATE conflict + confrontation (because of experiences) so I try to avoid it

Sometimes have Identity confusion + quite a bit of gender dysphoria that can REALLY worsen at times

Need someone who will actually see my preferred gender identity and use proper pronouns (using they/he or referring to me as his “bOyFrIeNd” when referring to me, I-just- I- would melt)

Generally unstable and have hard time regulating my emotions

Can become cold + distant

Never drank alcohol, or did drugs- not ever planning to

A lil virgin ;) (but not in my in my mind lol)

Tendency to self-sabotage

Profoundly sad most of the time

Tend to compare myself to others + underestimate myself

Cross or betray me and we’re done (tend to hold grudges)

Insecure about being perceived as dumb or unintelligent

Huge sweet tooth 🤤

want to accept and embrace someone for all that they are, and for them to do the same

Seems oblivious / blank-faced

I Love games/physical activities

I do not and will never understand happy-go-lucky and light-hearted people, they kinda annoy + piss me off

Same with people who are way too nice and eager, it’s SUS and annoying

I’ve been told many times that I look “younger than my actual age, (like 15 😬😓) I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean exactly 😞

I love to be playfully teased 🫠😏

I tend to come off as kinda “emo,” and the way I dress tends to borderline on emo anyways 🖤, but I don’t really try to. In fact I try to go out of my way not to 🥺 I’m not hating on emo style, I pretty much am emo inside, but the style/look just gets a lot of slack, so it makes me insecure. So I try to mix a little “prep” in my style 🥲 and try to wear more color and stuff like that. I just don’t want people to see me as this dark, hurting emo boy (even though I pretty much am) who is unlikable or unapproachable so I try to be different but end up putting on what feels like some kind of facade, and in the end I feel less like myself. Guess I try to be more like the person I wish I was through my style, even though I can’t deny who I am and what I’m like. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m a confusing person who is self-conflicted- it’s one of my biggest problems. I Primarily wear cooler tones, especially blue, blacks, whites, neutrals, and looser fitting clothing. I don’t wear dresses / skirts / crop tops / high heels/ high-waisted pants or anything like that. Sometimes, I do wear a more fitting crop-top tee over a fitted long-sleeve shirt and it’s subtle, but it’s a moment (Use that as a headcanon 😏 even though you know it’s canon lol). I also LOVE A GOOD SUIT. I don’t ever wear jewelry. And just to clarify, I’m more like cute-boyish-neutral-but still Kinda fem, ya know? I’m more like baby I guess. 😂🥺 I tend to not talk about my gender, but I just know that I would never refer to myself as a girl.

Hi there! This is my first matchup, so I'm not quite sure what I'm doing, but I'm going to try!

I match you with... *drum roll*

❥ Megumi Fushiguro!

I gotta say, it was between Megumi, Gojo and Yuji for a while, until you mentioned that you didn't like happy-go-lucky or eager people. Anyway!

Megumi doesn't care about pronouns. Remember what he said to Todo? "As long as they have a nice personality then I'm fine." Mans is pan, for sure.

Megumi honestly doesn't care about alcohol or drugs or sex, so any of what you mentioned in those areas he also doesn't care about

What drew him to you though was how you came off. Reserved and introverted are his favorite people. You being a dog person also helps in that regard

He's not great at comfort, so if you want comfort from him you're going to have to tell him what you specifically want

If he isn't too tired, he'll let you play with his divine dogs

Megumi also doesn't care how you dress. Once again, it's personality that matters to him

He'll refer to you however you'd like, once again that doesn't matter to him

He also wont pressure you to open up at all, but he'll still ask you what you want for comfort

Coming off as cold or distant will just make him shrug and return the favor, believing you just need your space and will come back to him whenever

• ───────────────── •

I hope I did alright. Thank you! <3