#and also just bc i see a lot of myself in ash which was something i realised in episode 1

[liloinkoink]

hi, big fan of lamplight, and I wondered whether you used a guide/list for Ren's more specific mannerisms, or just work from your own knowledge?

love the series :D

glad you’re enjoying it!

as for a guide to Ren’s mannerisms… i don’t know that i have 100% hard set rules that This Action = That Emotion Every Single Time, but i do have some guidelines for myself. i haven’t ever really written them out, but ill try and mark down the rules i follow in my own head for how to write Ren expressing himself

first: the obvious one is that good/happy emotions are generally bright. when he’s excited, he gets big and bright, with a lot of motion and sparking. he can’t wag his tail or shout anymore, so he ends up big and bright to express himself instead lots of fast movements like it’s windy, or sparks / embers, or becoming genuinely hard to look at—that’s happiness and excitement, generally. this is what you see the most in him in lamplight

the opposite of that, of course is that and bad/unhappy emotions are usually small and dim. if he’s hurt or upset or sad or angry or scared, he gets small and dark. i imagine his flames also move a bit slower when he’s sad

however, bright doesn’t always mean happy and dim doesn’t always mean sad. the light level also corresponds to how intensely he’s feeling something. strong emotions usually see his flames get bigger/brighter/faster, while weak emotions don’t have as much as an effect. if he were frustrated or anxious, his flames might move faster—think of it like pacing, or bouncing his leg. he might also get brighter when he’s angry if there’s a lot of passion behind it.

that sort of thing is where color comes in. the color of his fire is his other big emotional tell. i’d say his neutral is orange—if they’re just walking around in silence, or if Martyn is asleep, he probably defaults to a nice orange. when he’s happier, he turns more yellow/white. i use the word “gold” to describe him basically exclusively when Martyn is making him smile / he’s smiling at Martyn, and i usually picture that as like… specifically fond/comfortable(/lovestruck)

the color he appears most rarely is red, which is… irritated or angry, mostly, but it can also be incredibly sad, in a “dimmed so far down he’s more embers than fire” sort of way. i’d say flustered could also be red depending on the context? red can mean a lot of things, but they’re not emotions that are as common, and you’d have to figure it out based on the intensity/motion of his flames

for other really uncommon things: he sometimes makes smoke when annoyed, frustrated, flustered, or when he’s purposefully trying to annoy Martyn. smoke also is just something i throw in sometimes if the vibe feels right for it. also, Ren’s temperature doesn’t fluctuate that much, because it’s something he has to remain in control of so he doesn’t hurt Martyn, but if he’s taken really off guard he might slip up and get hotter (ie. getting flustered by Martyn kissing him in worship the ashes. i think if Martyn ever surprised/scared him suddenly he would risk Ren burning him by accident)

bc of all this, Ren’s expressions are kind of mix-and-match. for example, sometimes he’s upset and bright—if he’s really pissed, he’d be red embers that are small, but INCREDIBLY bright, to the point he’s difficult to look directly at. another example, i tend to describe him as sparking “like fireworks” when he’s happy, but he might also spark when he’s annoyed or nervous

when i’m picking how Ren’s expressing himself, i usually think about two things:

first thing, what was he just doing last? if he was so upset he’d gone down to embers and is now moving toward happiness, he’s probably not going to jump immediately to blinding white fireworks (unless he’s really happy)—he’s going to warm up a little bit, move more to orange, and have to be cheered up until he reaches yellow/white again

the other thing i think about is examples of real world flames and match them with certain vibes. like, with Ren’s anger, i tend to think about hot metal right out of a forge, because ren’s anger is intense and can be powerful when directed or shaped purposefully. for unease, i think about sparks from friction, because those make me uneasy.

aaaand finally, to end out all of these considerations, the last rule is that i can also break just about any of these if i think that it feels correct to do so. he operates on vibe. sometimes the vibe says do something else besides what is in this guide. at which point i do that thing instead

if there are any specifics that usually stay true consistently… i can think of three reliable constants that usually only mean one thing

-crackling generally happens when Ren is using his “voice.” often it specifically means laughter, but not always, and not every laugh results in crackling. it can also just mean he’s talking or yelling

-like i said up in the color section, if i use the word gold in prose, it usually means specifically a warm/fond smile directed at or because of Martyn

-when Ren cries, it appears as steam. we haven’t seen him cry yet, but this is how it would appear if he did: so dim it looks like he’s nearly out, barely red embers, heavy steam. he looks almost like water has been doused over him. you will only ever see steam if you actually genuinely dunk Ren in water or if he’s crying

-i haven’t really thought about sleep before, BUT if Ren were to sleep again as fire he’d probably get fairly dim and pretty slow, unless he was dreaming, at which point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kohakhearts]

goh starter trio meta perhaps? i was ensnared by the goh-scorbunny parallel subpoint in the cubone meta bc i'm making myself unwell thinking about how scorbunny latching on to goh and goh latching on to ash.... but also more generally, sobble's whole thing and the absolute tearjerker drizzile evolution episode, and goh's weird ass dream about his rillaboom parents and then waking up to baby grookey clinging to his arm, you get it, i know you're galaxy brained about this

YESSS I AM *SO* GLAD YOU ASKED!!

so my tl;dr here is that all of the galar starters represent something about goh specifically relating to his childhood. their growth and eventual evolution (or lack thereof!) therefore serve to highlight his character development (as an aside, i think this is a very common theme in anipoke. ash's pikachu not evolving speaks to the fact that ash's growth isn't about becoming someone new but about staying true to himself and embracing a battle style that reflects the creative ingenuity that, in the early os, other characters mocked him for. similarly, dawn's piplup chooses not to evolve because it doesn't want to change how things are between them. does this not seem fitting for the partner of someone like dawn, who has always admired her mother so much that she never even considering doing something other than following in her footsteps? i'm sure there are other examples, but these seem to me the most obvious ones!).

let's break down each one, then!

scorbunny

when we meet scorbunny, goh is still determined that mew will be his first pokemon. this is a point of stubbornness that, while impressive and arguably kind of admirable, is frankly kind of stupid. how is he supposed to get to mew without any pokemon to help him? there's an interesting implication in this resolution, which jn004 and jn005 really highlight for us - goh isn't comfortable with having a pokemon. he knows a lot about them, is interested in researching them, but as far as the bond between pokemon and trainer goes, i don't think he feels prepared for that. it's easier to pick a target that is far from reasonably attainable for him at this point, especially since he does have some history with mew - didn't it take an interest in him? didn't it give him a reason to chase after it?

so meeting scorbunny, he's obviously not thinking about catching it. but he lies to the guy at the scone stand, in an interesting parallel to how scorbunny steps in to protect the nickit. he doesn't even seem to know why he does it. but just before that scene, he sees scorbunny wipe some of the dirt off its face. he doesn't get the whole story and connect all the dots until after, but i think he realizes then that scorbunny is trying to hide itself in some way. that it's performing as something it's not. and on some unconscious level, that motivates him to lie for it. after, we get this whole exchange, where the scone seller tells ash and goh the story

and this note is what makes goh get up and approach scorbunny and the nickit:

it's very symbolic that he wipes the mud off scorbunny's face. and then later, he even points out when they see it again that it looks better without all the mud covering it up - it looks more like itself. it's not pretending to be something it's not. goh wiping the mud off its face is him saying that he accepts it as it is. that being resigned to living a certain way just to fit in or just because that's how it's always been is pointless.

and i mean...even ash says in this scene that the things goh is saying are things he's only recently learned himself, right? goh denies it (and tbh when he says that he's always thought the world is big and anyone can explore it if they want to or whatever - i don't think that's untrue! i think it's just that, prior to meeting ash, he didn't have it in him to explore it), but ash has a point. and what goh is doing for scorbunny here is the same thing that ash did for him.

relatedly, scorbunny follows him, right? in the same way that goh "accepts" ash as his friend, scorbunny chooses goh as its trainer. goh recognizes that it travelled far for him, that it saw a vision of its future with him, and changes his mind about not catching it. i think the determination he saw in scorbunny to chase after its dreams resounded with him, because he's only just started doing the same thing. and his entire character is built around this idea of like, learning how to adapt and how to let other people help you find the courage to chase your dreams (and even to help you chase them). how could he possibly deny scorbunny the same thing?

but while scorbunny's enthusiasm helps motivate goh to chase his dreams, he is very flippant and dismissive, as we see when it learns ember and he says it doesn't matter, that scorbunny doesn't need to know a fire-type move and this gut-punch of a line, of course:

goh is someone who needs a lot of convincing to do things he doesn't think he'll be good at (or enjoy). he only joins project mew because gary goads him into it. he spends most of his life refusing to make friends, because he had one bad experience. he's a fairly black-and-white thinker, which makes sense considering his background. he doesn't really believe in change. he especially doesn't believe that people (or pokemon, in this case) can change their circumstances just through hard work and determination. as we see in jn003 with the ivysaur, he also doesn't think that it's anyone else's place to intervene and "help" others. if you can't change something, then don't. and there's no point in hoping it'll change on its own, either.

when scorbunny storms off here, his expression is interesting. this isn't the expression of someone being judgemental. it's the expression of someone who sympathizes.

he sees scorbunny trying so hard to do something he thinks it can't do and thinks that scorbunny's determination to change things is, if i had to guess, kind of immature. a lesson scorbunny will have to learn, whether it wants to or not. at first it's kind of endearing, but then he actually gets frustrated, because he feels like scorbunny's determination to learn ember is harmful to them both. here, there's a degree of "why won't you just trust that i know what's best for you?" for sure, but on a deeper level, i think that stems from a place of "can't you see that i'm just trying to protect you?"

...but obviously, all he really does is wind up lashing out and hurting scorbunny's feelings. he tells ash that he was trying to draw out scorbunny's strengths (and he was, by telling it to use moves it was already good at!), but ash points out that their values weren't aligned and that's kind of the opposite of strength when it comes to pokemon battling. so he reassesses the situation and finds a way to bring out scorbunny's strength that also aligns with what scorbunny wants. that compromise is what makes scorbunny evolve. it was the right call! but then raboot starts ignoring him.

and this is like. a running gag with scorbunny - goh gets distracted by other things and doesn't notice that it's trying to show him things. it happens when they meet and it happens again in this episode with its ember. we see something very similar with goh and his parents in jn032 when he's excited at the prospect of their vacation together, but when he tries to ask what they want to do, he turns around and find they're both asleep (and we see the flashback of something similar happening last time, too).

with raboot, in a lot of ways, goh is grappling with...himself. or at least, the person he was before he met ash - cold and distant, more interested in doing whatever he thinks is worth his time than in school, for example. so if goh saw his child self in scorbunny, he sees his more "adolescent" (i mean. he's still ten so still child, technically. but older child lol) self in raboot. and he actually responds to this in a way that's a lot like how we see his parents responding to him. in jn022, we see him

buy a bunch of apples for raboot, even though he thinks it doesn't need them (and is hurt when it doesn't let him have one, despite raboot seeming pleased that he bought them for it). compare to the device he shows horace in jn032, for example, which he says his parents built for him. or his six computer monitors. his parents reach him best through material means!

question why raboot hates him when it's not responsive to his overtures. contrarily, goh's parents don't think he hates them; they just automatically assume the worst case scenario (like in jn015 when he calls and they immediately wonder if he did something and got kicked out of the institute). but while that's their worst case scenario about him, raboot hating him is kind of goh's worst case scenario, right? it took him time to open up and accept scorbunny as his partner. now that it's evolved and is acting differently, he's terrified that he came to care for it only for it to leave him.

which leads to my last point here, which is that he doesn't actually ask what it wants. in this episode, he concludes that raboot would be happier without him. so he leaves it behind, but he never actually considers how it might feel. goh's parents do the same thing! they worry about him, but they don't share their concerns or ask how he feels. they just assume that he must feel a certain way and they adapt to compensate for that. but they never actually ask him what he wants.

this episode ends with him realizing that he hasn't been reacting to raboot's feelings so much as to his own, of course, and we see their relationship smooth out quite a bit. he's acknowledging that he's done things wrong, but also that it's not all his fault - and raboot's change in temperment is just a consequence of it evolving. they accept each other again and move on.

then, it evolves into cinderace and kind of opens up again more (though it's been doing that little-by-little since jn022). i think the fact that raboot and riolu evolve at the same time was a really cool move by the writers to kind of demonstrate how like...the relationship between ash and goh is reflected in the growth of their pokemon. they trained together! in a way they kind of grew up together! riolu, ash's token baby pokemon in jn, evolving at the same time as goh's starter feels like a very deliberate choice to highlight how ash helped goh's pokemon grow, too - through getting the ball rolling with how he helped goh grow as a person and a trainer. if that makes sense?

anyway, i don't have much to say about cinderace, other than that if he saw himself as a child in scorbunny and as an older child in raboot, then cinderace's level of openness and its enthusiasm aren't just reflexive of it getting back more of its scorbunny-esque personality - it also shows how goh has changed and has learned to embrace these parts of himself, now that he's in that "coming of age" age (well, for pokemon. he is still only ten lmao).

i think we see something similar with his other starters, though maybe a little less on the nose.

sobble

the drizzile episode, as you mentioned, is probably Thing here. but i think the theme with sobble is sort of that, where scorbunny maybe reflects more of the way goh thought about growing up and his aspirations (and how hard it was to open up to people), sobble more so mirrors his social experiences at school and with chloe.

VISUALLY, i think it's really telling that when goh catches sobble, he's...literally speaking to it from the other side of the water:

this whole episode (jn028) is about goh kind of...forcing sobble into positions it's not necessarily comfortable with, and not realizing that it's uncomfortable until it runs away from him. as we saw with raboot, this is a common theme with goh - but it's most obvious with sobble!

he realizes, of course, and says this:

even in flashbacks, goh never comes across as a shy kid. he doesn't exactly relate to sobble, but i think he's drawing a parallel here between them. he wasn't shy, but he was always on the "outside" - that's why he's so good at researching. he strives to see things as they are without getting involved. eventually, this is something that will make him a pretty thoughtful and strategic battler, though at this point he's still learning how to apply that to more than just research for the sake of research.

and then after sobble meets inteleon, we have these bits too:

goh's childhood motivations on the surface appear to be like...he doesn't want to bother with friends, because they aren't going to be able to serve a purpose for him. he isn't interested in making friends with anyone who is less into pokemon than he is. but after what happens with horace, it seems to get a little more complex, and then we have to wonder if his motivations really were that surface-level to begin with, or if, maybe, his policy of not making friends has always been a way for him to protect himself from betrayals like he experienced with horace.

we see chloe as early as jn001 trying to convince him to make friends, to no success. she doesn't even refer to herself as his friend - he doesn't seem to be willing to let her. he believes he doesn't need friends and is better off alone. but he doesn't realize until after meeting ash that his solitude is more of a self-imposed exile, in that it's hurting him more than other people. he can't improve as a person and reach his goals if he's too busy trying to protect himself to accept that he needs help from other people to do those things. so, again - i think he sees that side of himself in sobble. so it feels very impactful that he reaches out to help sobble become a better battler, but rather than forcing it to battle in a way that makes sense to him, he comes up with a way to have it train that plays off of its strengths of running and hiding.

and then, of course, there's the episode where sobble evolves, jn062. the writers themselves do most of the work here of drawing the parallel between goh's childhood and how drizzile is feeling, but i think it goes even deeper than that. drizzile is unhappy because it wanted to evolve into inteleon, not into drizzile. it's not comfortable in its own skin. and it doesn't necessarily want others to see it, because it feels like it's still growing and it's not ready yet. it kind of just...needs time to sulk and brood. drizzile runs away again, because it's not ready, and while they're looking for it, it's chloe who makes goh start thinking about when he was a kid, by saying this:

which prompts him to think about how he was searching for a "reason" for why drizzile was acting how it was, just like how adults used to demand reasons from him even when he didn't have them. and then of course we get this scene:

but i think he does on some level know why, because he talks immediately after this about how his parents weren't home and often felt lonely. he's more comfortable being alone. he's protecting himself. which is reinforced by the fact that he then tells drizzile this:

goh has a hard time putting his feelings into words, which is something we see throughout jn. he sees that drizzile is the same and this is a huge moment for him, because he's saying here that it doesn't matter what inspired its feelings; he understands it is experiencing those feelings and that's enough. he'll wait until it's ready to fully process them or whatever else it needs. drizzile kind of returns the favour when he starts crying here and it reaches up to brush away his tears, then disappears again.

overall, this episode does an amazing job of showing us how goh has become someone who actually acknowledges his and his pokemon's feelings - this is the only time we see him as a child where he's not doing something to try to ignore his feelings, or trying to walk away from them. in flashbacks, his back is often to his parents. in jn032, he gets upset, and then tries to cover his disappointment up immediately with anger and avoidance. the writers set this scene up so that we can see the reason behind his feelings clearly (just like we can see the reason behind drizzile's, even though goh and co. can't), but they rightly emphasize that goh's ability to analyze "why" he or his pokemon are feeling a certain way isn't always helpful. emotions are meant to be felt, not intellectualized. it's a good message, and a huge area of growth!

drizzile's evolution into inteleon also shows us how this acceptance translates into it eventually being comfortable enough to be who it wants to be. and the characters are impressed by it - it even earns kecleon's admiration, the same way that other inteleon earned its when it was a sobble. this is a pretty clear mirror with goh's social life, where he went from being this friendless outcast figure to someone with a lot of friends, and a great willingness to make more, as he became more comfortable and confident and willing to reach out to others.

and lastly,

grookey

the only one of the three that doesn't evolve, for reasons that aren't ever really made clear to us. but i think that as random (...and tone deaf) as his dream sequence at the start of grookey's debut episode is, it actually makes a lot of sense. in the original, the dream has camille and walker transformed into rillaboom, and goh is understandably freaked out. but i think the bigger, more symbolic thing is that even if it is a dream, his parents are the ones that foist grookey upon him. this does seem like a really weird choice, until you start thinking about the parallels, right?

in reality, grookey is team rocket's pokemon. the episode title "when a house is not a home" tells us that grookey obviously doesn't feel like it "belongs" there. but the episode doesn't open in team rocket's base. it opens in goh's apartment. and the part i didn't show in the drizzile scene above is when he says this:

the fact that goh was home alone a lot as a kid gets brought up fairly often. it implies that he kind of had to adopt this lone wolf persona, because there was no one else around to take care of him. he had to learn how to console himself and meet his own needs (hence why he's so combative about ash intervening with the ivysaur in jn003!), which is a lot of responsibility for a kid. grookey is handed to him like it's a responsibility in his dream, but then they bond. and he starts to appreciate having grookey around, to the point that he misses it when it returns to team rocket.

to me, the choice to have grookey not evolve kind of comes down to grookey being kind of...emblematic of goh's childhood. like, in his dream, grookey is this burden that's forced on him. someone he has to take care of, even though he isn't really prepared to do that. in reality, grookey is escaping from an environment that doesn't meet its needs. putting those two things together, i mean...that's just my reading of it, anyway. so grookey not evolving, and goh accepting grookey as it is - without any of the "growing up" analogs we have with cinderace and inteleon - is a way of showing that goh has come to terms with his childhood and that he accepts (and cherishes!) his childhood self. which he can only really do after he's done all the growing we see reflected in the evolutions of his other starter mons. (relatedly, grookey is the only starter of goh's who goh considers leaving with other mons in its evolution line. specifically, with two thwackey and their child, i.e. a family unit not unlike goh's!)

anyway! this is a very long post, so thanks for sticking with me if you did. hope my takes are as galaxy-brained as you hoped hehe

[olrinarts]

alright so let's go on a tour of my current writing folder (or at least the part devoted to cotl, the full writing folder which includes my original projects is. a whole lot. and not actually a thing y'all are here to see)

tl;dr: let's just say there's enough fic that i had to zoom out a LOT to keep these to single screenshots, so this whole thing is me making fun of myself for my hyperfixation (it's all in good fun)

buckle up my friends, prepare to view the sum total of human normalcy

let's begin with two numbers: 52, and 582,499

52 is the number of different files with writing that isn't a 'discard' - so completed projects, projects in progress, and projects waiting for editing. 'Discards' are essentially the parts i've cut, because i really rarely delete a draft, diverging plots i've rejected, or paragraphs i'm cutting, etc

582,499 is the number of words in all 52 docs combined. i did the math. i am simultaneously proud and deeply concerned by this number. (with the most easily counted discard docs, that number becomes 694,737.)

also of note is that the earliest doc was created on the 2nd of February 2024, aka this year

normalcy is off the CHARTS, lads

so this is the main folder and where the projects that are either incomplete or in the process of being edited:

docs crossed out are excerpts from other fics for that zine application, and red dots indicate at least some nsfw content (i just wanna make the point from earlier lmao). I'm not counting fade-to-blacks in that nsfw marking. Also ignore the titles, other than chimes of bone and ashes ashes they're largely silly pretentious placeholders

from there we have:

'phone tag' (a collection of v short fics that won't be posted bc they specifically jump off a fic i read early on and wanted to rewrite bc i liked the concept, but i'm not gonna go posting something that's a reworked vision of something another fic author wrote, that's just bad etiquette and it's okay to write things just for you); these docs aren't pictured but add 6 docs to the total list

'extras' (where i put the discards and such, as well as fics that have already been posted for organisation purposes)

and 'complete', which is our next destination

So here's the 'complete' folder, which is more of a storage for things that aren't actively being edited but are otherwise complete drafts:

red dots are again at least some nsfw content, and the 'old' folder is essentially just the waiting room for getting moved to 'extras'

Next folder being 'pwp', but inside is actually this:

for these two folders assume it's all got nsfw content. the difference between the two folders is whether or not the fic required multiple scenes, not whether it's actually pwp (it is a liar of a folder)

'actually pwp' (again, ignore the doc titles, they're basically meaningless):

then this is 'has a story':

and lastly, pulled from the depths of the 'extras' folder due to being complete fics that have already been posted, is the 'posted' folder:

So what are the takeaways from this?

i have far, far too much time on my hands and use it extremely responsibly

i am very normal about the things i like (and also type very fast)

i'm picky about cleaning fic up and having my partner look them over before i post, so there'll be long dry periods, but i won't be running out of material any time soon

feel free to send asks about anything here (assuming you can read the text for ants and can glean even a particle of what it might be about from the vague titles)

i'm always willing to ramble a bit and it'll be a WHILE before some of these end up anywhere near posting

[indigosabyss]

Your proposal of a Hunger Games arc for the Champions is intriguing. But who would ultimately win?

See, this is interesting. I have a lot of the major events and deaths planned out, but things really take a turn when the Terrigen Mist is released, something which was meant to make things harder for the mutants, but unknowingly awakens the latent abilities of the Inhumans.

At the moment, I have it whittled down to six survivors, but I would say Lunella Lafayette would come out on top. Smartest person in the world and a dinosaur to back her up? Pretty hard to beat.

(In here Devil Dinosaur is a muttation whose control chip she manages to break from prior experience working with livestock controlled like that)

Of course, that all said, the Games are going to fall apart before they've all murdered each other. Might as well spoil the ideas bc idk if I'll even write it.

Already mentioned Kamala's Terrigenesis would eject her tracker and her early shapeshifting she has would mean that not even the GameMakers know where she is. (Maybe with pieces of the cocoon left they think she got turned into ash from the Mist?) So she's completely rogue, but has no way to communicate with anyone else.

Viv is going through her own dramatic arc regarding her turning off her emotional processing for the Games, so when Tommy (who joined to keep her safe) kills Gabby (another top contender for Victor) before she can damage Viv, she goes for the 'logical' action and kills Tommy. Because he's the closest to her. Distance wise.

Anyways, the grief of this leads to her snapping and taking over the broadcast system. She doesn't have a plan of attack. She isn't thinking about a large scale Rebellion. She just wants the viewers to see what they have done and be sickened by it.

And of course, there's Sam Alexander, who got sent a helmet by "Sponsors". A very special helmet. That could break any containment on the Arena.

Also, btw, there's another very important little guy in the final survivors squad. One Pinpoint aka Qureshi Gupta. The child who could've left at any time but was too scared to reveal his powers.

I can't sit with myself and make the Games play out as they were intended. But I also can't make this a happy ending.

Something I want to contend with during the 'third-act' of this story is the feeling of being trapped. Could they all turn around and walk out of this? Sure. But what would they have? Where will they go?

There are people depending on them. Families and friends and strangers who have no obligations towards them but still deserve to be helped. You can't run from that.

In the end, I think they would all be killed to make sure they don't inspire insurrection. First Games to never have a Victor.

Maybe Qureshi would make it. If his loyalty to himself outweighs his loyalty to these strangers.

[fluffypotatey]

f g p r from the fanfic ask game? please?

Hey bestie 🥰 thanks so much for the ask this one took me awhile lol

G - Do you write your story from start to finish? or out of order?

i like writing things from start to finish. key word: like. my brain, however, likes to jump ahead to specific scenes and events. i used to fight that bit and force myself to forge on along and wait until i finally made it to that part in the story.

lmao that was a horrible idea. those scenes would continue to haunt me and pester me until i finally give up and wrote them. so i just stop fighting it and write out of order. (honestly it was a blessing for me to decide to make my lmk one-shot series not in chronological order bc then i’d never get it done lol

it’s why my writing can get slow sometimes because while writing the chapter for the next event, i’ll be hit with some scene 2 chapters later or 3 scenes after some confrontation i haven’t started yet!!! i have ch7 for the dr geyer fic. it’s in my docs but i haven’t finished it bc someone *looks at brain* wants to write more of s6b bc Theo’s in that one >:(

P - Are you what George RR Martine would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance vs letting the story unfold as you go?)

you know, i know i read of this before like years ago but i don’t remember it lol. had to look it up to make sure i was understanding this right.

so… i think it depends?

with my merlin multi-chap fic and my medieval fantasy wip i plan those in advance. the merlin fic? i have that 1st arc’s plot down, i know where the story will lead to, i even know which characters i’ll keep alive or keep dead. 

with my one-shots (and my one-shots that chose to say “fuck you”), those are a spur of the moment kind of writing. i had something playing in my head that’s wants to be free, so i write it down and pray that it’s satisfied (it typically is not which is why you see a lot of my one-shots become multi-chapters or one-shot series). these don’t have a solid plan when i begin. i tend to come up with it as the plot comes together. 

tbh this works well with my fics bc i have a base outline: the actual show/book/movie. with my dr geyer fic, i know where s5-6 begin and end. sure, i’m choosing what gets to happen in-between, but i at least have the comfort of that base. the lmk series? it’s literally just me plugging in an oc and forcing a couple characters to air-out their issues. 

R - Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

oh definitely. tbh my main one would have to be Lemony Snicket. fell in love with the narration of those stories. the snark, the personality, the vocabulary, the inner dialogue. idk it just did something to 9 year old me lol

another big one i’d have to say is Branden Sanderson. not really his writing, but how complex and beautiful his worlds are. i didn’t know that you could create and capture the essence such beautiful worlds in writing but reading his books and seeing them come to life really influenced my desire to write and design fantastical worlds or even just explore snippets of other worlds like BBC Merlin Albion.

F - Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it

babe, i’m so sorry but it took me forever to choose. i debated on whether i should do lmk or teen wolf or abc merlin or even shit i haven’t posted bc i love too many of these T^T

but dw i did find one (it’ll be under the cut bc this got long jfc). i giggled a lot when writing it just because the back and forth with Liam and Mason interjecting was fun. also i picked this one to prove the dr geyer fic hasn’t been forgotten. i’ve just been….preocupied and going feral over immortal monkeys

*

“I’m not here to start anything,” Mr. Doughlas said to them calmly. “I just want the mountain ash barrier open, mh?”

“Yeah, because this isn’t starting anything,” Liam growled.

Mr. Douglas smiled, sharp teeth in full display. Again, he twisted his claws in the chimera. Theo, again, kept quiet. The only indication he was in any being came from his winces. Liam can’t tell if he should be impressed or horrified that getting stabbed in the spine barely got a reaction out of Theo. 

“This is simply a contingency. I just want the barrier open, then I’ll be out of your hair. I promise. No funny business.”

Theo chuckled (well, more like gurgled) and snorted.

“Says the Nazi.”

Douglas drove his claws further into Theo’s spine, polite smile cracking, in response. The chimera grunted, but Theo just laughed again.

“Sorry, sorry.” Theo’s smirk looked almost deranged with the blood coating his lips. “Nazi was the insult others threw at you, right?”

“He’s a Nazi?!” Mason shrieked. 

Doughlas sighed, all politeness disappearing as he addressed them all.

“Must we obsess over my previous occupation? I don’t see how this is important. I was just a soldier there.”

“Oh yeah, being a part of a genocidal fascist group should totally be overlooked!” Liam exclaimed. “Not like you were involved in and advocated for any of that!”

“Yeah, it adds nothing for us to even slightly trust you,” Mason added.

[padfootastic]

hcs about miss pen coming right up—

(I'm so excited to type this cause it's like those art videos where they choose colours without light and then is skin is green kwim? )

1) can follow along with a recipe/good enough cook but don't do it often cause don't want to wash up (absolutely valid if tho– bartan are just not the vibe)

2) social actually like not daily put partying but have this group of 5-6 friends that you just have always have had you know

3) not teachers pet but also not a trouble maker. they used to have a soft spot for you but you were a bit sarcastic talkative in class or used to have longer nails or something that would make you occasionally get in trouble

4) either took 4 classes of art as kid or very good dancer.

5) I'm gonna go with favourite subject was EVS till 5th-6th

6) have never broken a bone but did have stupid injuries as a kid

7) type of person who complaints about it's too hot/too cold, says their favourite season is Mansoon but jab humidity hoti h you're like nah i think i actually prefer winter (it's a lie you don't like any seasons)

8) friends parents and relatives used to say like you're the role model (in the sense ki beta dekho ye kitni polite/ kitni achche se baat kar rhi h/ kitni helpful h/ basically auntie whisperer) and your friends/cousins would just look at the aunties that have they grown two heads cause ye ladki? ye — abhi do second phle hame aise harkaton ke ideas de rhi thi.

9) absolutely not a morning person (which If thai you are i would be so surprised cause your sleep schedule 😭)

10) like fashion to a reasonable extent like whenever you step out you're put together in an effortless way it's not a remarkable oh my god look at this person's style. but a second they notice you properly wow you look good today type.

!!!! omg ash, lowkey impressed at how right u are for some of these? like,,,now i’m frantically combing thru our conversations tryna figure out where i gave myself away lmao

1. is half correct—i’m a pretty good cook (if i do say so myself 💀) and i actually like washing dishes lol so that’s never stopped me—i am very chindi tho, so i reuse bartan all the time to minimise.

2. true!! i’m fully an extrovert and i have about 2-3 groups of solid friends from different periods of my life; 10/10 would recommend, esp girl gangs.

3. no but this is literally so on point?? i was a very well liked child but i also talked the heck out of everyone’s patience and i was always bouncing around to other classes + i’d exasperated many (including the principal) w my coloured hair & messy uniforms & general…rowdiness lol

4 & 5 are sadly incorrect :( i did take classes for almost everything as a child but i’m not great at any of it. and my fav class is and always has been english!! (until socio came & overtook)

6. beep! another winner!!! i have all sorts of scratches and cuts and scars bc i used to do so much stupid shit. i remember climbing this half-constructed structure once bc there were puppies somewhere inside and i rly wanted to see and ended up having this like. rebar rod thing fully slice into my forearm. u can still see the scar now, like over a decade later lol

and no yaar 😭😭 i like to think 7 is not me—i’m v accommodating and i try not to complain even when i rly wanna (growing up around whiny rich kids has instilled a fear in me to not be the same lol)

8 is very, very true. i take a lot of pride in being almost all my friends’ parents’ favorite; aunty whisperer is a v good name for it too bc grandparents love me ;) (and yes, i was also the one to corrupt almost every single of them. fun times)

u already know 9 is true lmao what can i even say

and 10–hmmmmmmmmmm i’ll give it a. 0.3. bc im a very. very staunch ‘grab whatever and put it on’ kinda gal which means i can (and have) live(d) off The Chair for months on end. it never looks terrible but yah. acceptable i’d say.

What do you think of me: HC edition

[the-acid-pear]

Woke up from a very very strange dream so I really want to share it.

It started odd. Well not entirely odd. But it started on his different map of SDV I often see, and I was a woman, and went to these new secret mines where I had just lost and been kicked out. I went back in bc i did catch a glimpse of a merchant, so I went to check him out. He looked like a glowing eye darkness robbed little guy. And he sold, phone cases? And some pillars or something?? And I didn't know what they did so I looked up on YouTube and all I'd find was Minecraft videos (one I'd seen in a different dream, no less) so after a lot of trying went back to the game and bought them and it instantly turned psychosexual. I cannot remember details for better or for worse.

But after that somehow I ended up in my mother's house. It was just her and me, and soon my older brother. Neither my little brother or my step father were there. But there was a fishtank. Just like my step father previously had. Except it was lodged to the wall of the kitchen on the last house I lived in with them. It was also like, insanely dirty? It was implied nobody had been around for a while.

At first the fish I noticed were normal. Long little grey one stood up bc it was the last fish I got to see there, though that guy was smaller than a finger now he was worth give or take two! And there were other fishes too. But most important I saw a golden fish, just like my stepfather had owned for so long (I saw that fish eat everyone else and Die.). Except it was smaller, younger! His gold fish was he size of a hand by the end and fat, now it was as big as the previously mentioned. But just as violent. He kept trying to bite the fishes, which lead to his end.

Eventually I realized a fucking OCTOPUS was in the tank too, and he grabbed the golden fish (wasn't his name Golden? Or was it just Dorado? I don't remember) and like a gator did a death roll. It kept passing it under itself and stuff, too. I freaked out a little bc man he's gonna kill him!! But I was like nooobody touch him or you'll DIE.

It was then that I realized my mom had a prosthetic arm. From below the elbow on her left hand. It wasn't a normal one, it had skin grafts, tightly pulled across it, failing to conceal the plastic blue metal or the metal fingers like hooks. I asked her what happened and she told me nonchalantly she just tripped in a hole/puddle (I imagined this was in a supermarket, Carrefour or Coto) and passed out and when she woke up her hand was already amputated. Told her it was a relief it wasn't her dominant hand but she just said it isn't for NOW.

I pictured to myself a bit of her reaction. Waking up w a hand missing. Screaming and depression. She was ok by now. She did tell me it was bc she'd been carrying heavy books all day so the bone was cartilage by then and they removed it all (sure...)

I did realize a while after I woke up, my mother had a scarred hand she called "the bionic hand". I didn't remember this detail previous to this dream...

Anyway I think my brother was thru this all with us. I think we spoke. We caught up a little? I don't know why I cannot remember him now. What I do remember is talking w someone mentioning my grandma passing and them saying my brother should know too bc he probably cared and I was like damn maybe you're right. But I got distracted.

I was back in my villa crespo room, I have been remembering that room and that wardrobe a lot, and now I was looking inside. And it was huge, and I saw a dog plushie. It was implied to have been made by my grandma. I picked it up and hugged it and I took it as a sign to go in here and see what else was there for me. The dog was white, long ears, big ash brown spots and small black ones (most notably its eyes).

The wardrobe was full of toys and houses. And I was stuffing little things into bigger things. I wish I'd give you a better description. Little Barbies. I had a lot of knock off Barbies. I stacked them and stuck them elsewhere in piles. Unsure of the purpose.

But I couldn't really relax bc meanwhile my mom and my dad started talking and she was accusing him of having touched me inappropriately and his defense was like yeah I did but it was for a reason I was trying to protect her and I was just doing my darnest to pretend they didn't exist until I got awoken by a stupid can breaking in.

So yeah a lot went there.

[xx-justsomeguy-xx]

Hiii, happy birthday my dear Iah♡♡♡ (it's still 14th over there right ;_;)

I hope you have/had lots of fun and peace, quiet and many many fat cat sightings and that you get to go out and do something nice very soon,, I imagine your bday being on valentine's is such a hassle if you wanna go to an eatery or something sjdjdkf.

I love you lots and hope you are doing very well in general too [also !!! It's been a while since I sent an ask ahh how are you? What are you up to? !!!].

Anywhoo leaving you with my birthday Dola offering and many hugs & kissies 🥀🫀 mwah<333

ASDFHJKSDFHSDF OH MY GOD??? NAAAMAAAAAHHHH AAAAAA she's sooo pretty!! LOVE love love whenever you draw her in your style, so perfect with how she looks and feels each time ;w; i kinda want this one as my phone wallpaper... LOVE how you did the dress what the hell…

unfortunately not only did i see this late but also it was um... 6am feb 15 when you sent this in but thats fine!! honestly just you thinkin about my lil bday is so sweet thank u for the greeting and well wishes!! 💖💖✨✨💖✨🍇🍇🍇

i didnt go out on the day but i went out with some friends and my family a few days before! since valentines aligned with ash wednesday this year i also had to adjust for all my practicing catholic friends >.< which was fine, crowds were much better + got to buy myself some new clothes :3 (which... is just another black dress to add to the 20 i have but its in a different cut at least?)

didnt really do much on the actual bday... drew for a bit, wrote for a bit, played some games... just enjoyed not thinking about acads for a day

i've been doing alright!! been dealing with (gagging) acads again but hopefully for the last time since things are going really well for once, and other than that... oml... im sure youve seen how many times i've just posted the new blorbo's name in the tone of someone in deep longing... he's a merman naamah... and the kind of obsession/devotion he has for the mc is driving me crazy.... being back in otome hell is crazy bc im actually getting real fuel for the romantic side of things instead of wondering if im doing it right >w<

how have you been doing tho!! i feel like i dont see you around as often but i also havent been online as often too >.<

[hella1975]

my friend watched banana fish and im actually.... kinda annoyed about it

[kithtaehyung]

SOLmates (teaser) (m) | OT7

title: SOLmates (teaser) pairing: ot7 x reader(f) rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , smut ; soulmates au (negative), arranged marriage au, futuristic dystopian  summary: “What awaits after Inferno? Ashes.” teaser warnings: lots of intro!, all intro!, jin is a bit of a menace, manhandling, cursing, fingering, scratching, yoongi is rude af, choking, jin wears a chain bc i can’t help myself, warnings to be added as series starts note: so.. this is a project i’ve been working on for awhile now. i don’t normally plan things, but something that started on a whim grew into this entire universe that i ended up having to plan like never before lol. i just wanted to show y’all a small piece of it, and i hope you enjoy! note 2: thank you to @wwilloww​​, @kookskingdom​​, and @sugaurora​​ for encouraging me to keep going on this! y’all gave me much more hype than i could ask for and i’m really excited for what’s to come. this is also a rough draft so it will be polished later :D teaser word count: 5.4k 5.5k release date: july 27th, 2022, 7pm est  updated: august 3rd, 2022

-

-

PROLOGUE

The first time, you feel a spark.

The second, a fire. 

But what happens after the third?

What awaits after Inferno?  

Ashes. 

-

-

// LOGDATE: 3021.01.32, 0700

// LOCATION: PLANET EARTH, HOME POD

// SUBJECT: HARDLOCK

No matter how hard or long you sleep, the soft clicks and whirrs of your bedroom’s bootup routine never fail to make you stir. 

Face scrunched, your gaze sweeps across the mostly empty space beyond your sheets. Pale blue light spreads over everything like a blanket, and you are quickly reminded of when you ported off-planet for the first time, watching the rush of a million blue streaks encompass your peripherals. 

Why that memory flits about your mind, you haven’t the faintest clue. That was ages ago.

“AE-AI, what’s today,” you grumble, knowing your Homepanion will register your drowsy, garbled speech. 

And, like always, her calm voice drifts over your head. 

[Today is Saturday, January 32nd, 3021.]

[Reminder: you have one meeting today.]

[Atmosphere Aura Temperature: Suboptimal.]

A meeting? You may be exhausted as all hell, but you know it’s definitely your day off. Reaching to swipe your phone off your nightstand, you check the screen to see if something slipped into your schedule last second, dropping it with a thud when nothing appears. 

The ghost of a kiss accompanies the soft touch of rough fingers between your shoulder blades. “Isn’t it Saturday,” a sleep-leadened voice asks, and you hum in response, settling into your bedfellow’s embrace when they tug you backwards. “We never have meetings on Saturdays.” 

“I know.” 

The lithe forearm around your torso starts to slide downward, and a small knot in your belly tightens when fingers wander across your bare pelvis. “Jin,” you whisper, hushed and breathy, “Let me figure this out first.” 

“Just cancel,” the man’s coarse suggestion matches the tone of his voice before he lazily bites your ear. “There, I solved it.” 

You don’t hide your groan, but you do close a hand over Jin’s wrist just as he slips a lone finger between your folds. “Thirty seconds,” you sigh in compromise. Because you absolutely want the same thing he does. 

The random notification is just throwing you off. 

If this meeting has nothing to do with work, it better be a good one; it’s stealing hours of your rare, precious rest time. Lately, none of your squad had been gifted with any, which is exactly why you and Jin made the most of last night. 

“Fine. Not like AE-AI’s gonna care,” he relents, albeit petulantly. 

[I do not.]

As Jin fires off an insult to your intelligent and apparently saucy assistant, you laugh and wrap his arm back around your stomach. “What’s the meeting for, AE-AI?”

[The meeting has no title or subject, but the location is as follows: Phode Industries, Floor 112, Room 34-B.]

“Damn him,” you mutter, the absence of anything important in a meeting drop being the mark of your Guardian. “AE-AI, call the meeting organizer, please.” 

[Calling: Kim Namjoon.]

You turn, observing shut, tired eyes under wavy black locks. “Looks like it’s gonna be more than thirty seconds.” 

Without moving a muscle, he teases, “I’m heartbroken.” 

“You’ll get over it.” 

“Say hi to Joon for me.” 

“I’m going to be saying a lot more than that.” 

As the rings echo throughout your spacious bedroom, frustration is the sole energy source that thrusts your legs out of heated blankets and your feet onto cold floors. To combat the chill, you swipe a large shirt from the foot of your bed.

“Hey, that’s mine!”

Jin’s scent hugs you like a second layer as you shrug. When you walk away, your arms stretch high above your head, knowing his stare will drift straight down to your ass.

And as planned, the next thing you hear is a groan.

“Damn. Fucking keep it.”

You’re almost to your bathroom when your annoyance finally answers the call.

“Oh, good. You’re up.” 

“Namjoon, what the hell is this?” Warm lights bloom when you enter the spacious area and, with one eye squinted, you scratch your head while reaching for your toothbrush. “You better have a brilliant reason for this meeting or else I’m not stepping foot out of this pod.” 

“It’s not that I have a brilliant reason. It’s that we have no choice.” 

You pause, the toothpaste glob missing the bristles of your brush. “And that means what, exactly?”

There is a bout of silence in the speakers. In your buildup of anger, you rest your hands on the counter, both tools still resting in your curled fingers. “Namjoon,” you repeat, drawing out his name. 

“What else do you think we wouldn’t have a choice in, kid?” 

Ugh. You should’ve just stayed in your bed with Jin. It’s too damn early for your Guardian’s mind games. “Is it Ngoya wanting to reup his implants again? I know we have to keep that relationship pretty solid but it’s one more day. Just don’t walk outside for twenty four more hours! It shouldn’t be that hard.”

“No, it’s not that—”

While you’re successfully coating your toothbrush with paste, you fire off another guess, “Oh, never mind, I know. It’s that damn Spark Suppressor asking for business again. Why did I have to be chatty and tell him my—”

“Not that, either. Listen to me? Please?” 

Nonchalant is too stiff of a word to describe the way you’re brushing your teeth, slightly slouched and observing your eyes in the expansive mirror. 

Eyes that hadn’t been out of a shield in days. 

A gruff exhale crackles the sound system in your ceiling before Namjoon speaks again, and you stand there speechless, toothbrush hanging limp in between your lips. 

“You’ve been summoned. It’s damn Hardlock, kid. I’m sorry.” 

Fuck. 

You’ve shaped your life how you wanted it to be, despite all of the adaptations that society has gone through and thrown at you. 

Every single one except Hardlock, apparently. 

The Arranged Marriage Pact that cannot be refused. 

-

-

// LOGDATE: 3021.01.32, 0800 

// LOCATION: GLISA STATION, EALIONA DISTRICT

// SUBJECT: WHEN YOU STARTED BELIEVING

Adjusting your eyeshield, you sigh as you step into a hovertrain with a group of other passengers. 

Suppressor gloves forgotten at home, you were quick to shove bare hands in jacket pockets, rushing to the back of the compartment to isolate yourself. On the way, you accidentally brush someone’s arm, apologizing but not stopping in your haste. 

Even if you’re fully clothed, you still have a moment of panic when you make contact with someone. It’s the norm to have that instilled in your nature. 

Will it happen? 

Or not? 

Well, you don’t know what it feels like, but according to your relatives’ experiences, it’s a situation you don’t want to encounter. Ever. 

An automated announcement blares right before the doors close, and you don’t hear a word spoken on the train as you sit, backpack taking up most of the seat. 

With your stop five long minutes away, you have some time to think.

How did it get to be this way? Who the hell is choosing you of all people? People in your line of work never get chosen for Hardlock because of the risk factor. 

Maybe they know how lucrative your job really is and they just want the money. You can’t blame them in that case.

Rolling other careers around in your mind, you can’t think of another one with higher pay than a Salvager. The only one that comes close is someone in Namjoon’s position: a Guardian that protects a Salvager’s livelihood. You don’t know what you would do without him. 

It’s a miracle that a Spark didn’t happen when you accidentally saw his eyes in that one wanderhouse, when you entered a room you didn’t know he was occupying. 

He was simply reading a book—one of the old ones that required hands to read—which he promptly dropped at your entrance. 

You remember both staring at each other for a good while, shocked to death and then relieved. Relieved to see another pair of true irises in organic colors and hues. 

If he ended up being a SOLmate, that would’ve been the end of a relationship. It was even company policy: you would’ve had to make arrangements to part before acquiring a new Guardian within hours.

You heard the stories. Broken friendships, crumbled company deals, crushed empires. 

Because nothing could overcome the initial Spark—much less an Inferno.

Which is why you are going to keep your hands hidden in your jacket at all times. You can’t risk touching another human and possibly igniting. 

Don’t connect your bare eyes. 

Don’t connect your bare skin. 

The two ways a Spark can be initiated.

You don’t know what the hell birthed the curse of SOLmates, but you’ve learned how society has adapted. The rise of quarantining and social avoidance became the norm, with entire civilizations working remotely and citizens avoiding the Outside altogether. 

At first, you didn’t believe in SOLmates. You thought it was just a ploy carried out by the Heado Council to keep commoners in their pods while they went about their shady ways. 

It wasn’t until your cousin suddenly appeared in your Tele-Port with a barren look in their eyes, hunched over and refusing to speak to you until three days later. You remember having to force food and water down their slimming throat, along with sleep medicine to fight their insomnia. 

When they finally spoke, voice gravelly and dusty, you understood. 

“If you ever ignite,” they started, unblinking and haunted, “Never meet them again.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“Promise me.” 

“Hey, snap out of it. What are you talking about?”

They finally lifted their eyes, and you fought the urge to lurch forward seeing the specks of sharp grey swirling around obsidian—volcanic ash in their depths. “You will want to. But fight it. Don’t let there be a third time. Lock yourself away if you have to.” With each pointed plea, their body thrummed, their words as jittery as their shoulders until you rushed over to hold them. 

“You have to relax,” you whispered, but your cousin fought against your arms, their voice suddenly shrill and desperate in your ear,

“Never see them again! You can’t! Anything is better than this!” 

“Hey, wait—” 

An elbow connected with your stomach, forcing your grip loose. Frantic, your visitor wrenched themselves from your form and tore their way through your living room, hair whizzing and flailing. 

You called out for them, but your plea fell on deaf ears. Right as they scampered onto the transportation disk, they slammed trembling fingers onto the console as if they didn’t care where the hell they were sent. 

“Wait!” 

The yell dispersed throughout your empty room, rebounding off the furniture and dark grey walls. Feeling the weight of the loud silence that followed, your arms slowly fell back to your sides, and you wondered if you would ever see your cousin again. 

You still haven’t seen them since. 

[Now arriving at: Phode District]

The hovertrain warbles to a stop. Cracking your neck, you make your way out of the compartment, almost going to adjust your backpack straps until you realize you can’t unpocket your fingers. 

Shit. You’re going to have to swallow your pride and admit to Namjoon that you don’t have gloves. 

He’s going to notice anyways; you won’t be able to take out the docu-discs you have stashed without showing your bare skin. With a thought, you blink three times to bring up the HUD on your eyeshield and ring him. 

His answer is instant. 

“Hey, where are you?” 

Peering up at the obnoxiously tall glass building, you watch heavy raindrops splash your helmet before you groan,

“I’m here.” 

-

-

// LOGDATE: 3021.01.32, 0810

// LOCATION: PHODE INDUSTRIES

// SUBJECT: THE MEETING

Thank whatever deities people come up with nowadays that Namjoon has a spare pair. 

After you rushed out an excuse on top of your mistake, your Guardian only sighed and told you to just get your ass to the room. He claimed that he brought extra gear because he had business two districts over, but you didn’t put it past him to be paranoid.

Gliding across the almost barren floor of the lobby, you hear faint announcements about keeping suppressor gear on at all times while on the premises. 

Shit. You have to make it to the elevators before you’re questioned by a roboguard.

But your worries are for naught, for the short trip to the glass tubes goes smoothly. It’s possible that you escape suspicion while in regular civilian garb instead of your Salvager suit. 

You understand completely; the suits are pretty damn noticeable with their reactive energy displays. 

After a low humming ascent, you’re now on the 112th floor, wandering around and sneaking glances into every room not shielded by Darkglass. Peering through the clear walls, you watch as helmeted business people go about their days. Some are negotiating trade deals by the looks of the tablets they are cradling, and some are simply staring out of the building windows and watching the rain. 

People do that a lot. Ever since it’s been next to taboo to show bare skin in the Outside. 

What you would give to feel rain again.

There aren’t many rooms that have the glass activated, but you do pass one that apparently has a commotion going on inside. 

You faintly remember learning about Darkglass. How it shrouds both sight and sound when flipped from clear to black. If something is pressed against the material, there’s a subtle vibration that can be seen.

Just like now, as you walk by a room in the middle of the hall. When you turn to regard the slight waves, you make out the faint outline of a handprint. 

Weird. Maybe someone resting against the wall out of sheer boredom.

It would make sense. You would absolutely hate being chained down to a place of business like this. 

Being a Salvager means you aren’t attached to a building, or a cubicle, or even a central hub. Your job resides wherever the missions take you—wherever some rich asshole ends up needing you to go—whether that be into a local penthouse or the next planet over. 

And you love it. The experiences you get to have, the places you get to see—all of it has been remarkable despite the gritty truth.

It’s not an honorable occupation. Not that honorable is a common word thrown around nowadays. But it’s one that many a wealthy person will shovel out liquid cash and ONIcoin for, so you’re able to live a lavish lifestyle. 

Your hands are practically drowning in your pockets. 

Are you going to have to give up that life because of Hardlock? 

Surely, the family that chose you knows what you are. Your file omits a staggering amount of detail, but your base information is clearly defined next to your known SOLmate count, age, and ancestry.

You finally see a floating LED rectangle that reads 34-B, and the room’s Darkglass is deactivated. Glancing inside, you see Namjoon’s tall, cloaked form standing a safe distance away from what you assume are the mother and father of your chosen partner. While the woman occupies the lone chair at the end of a conference table, her husband simply rests gloves on her sagging shoulders. 

They seem… Lost. 

There wasn’t much time for you to run through their files, but Jin skimmed through while you got ready earlier. 

“Yah, why are there so many redacted sections?” 

“Nothing new,” you threw over your shoulder while slipping on pants. “Happens with a lot of older generations. Elders and their privacy.” 

You could picture Jin’s eyes scanning his HUD back and forth within his sleek eyeshield, legs spread on your traditional sofa. “Jung Family… Blastia District… Shit.” 

“What?” 

“Heado Council puppets.” 

“Fuck.”  

After removing his shield, Jin ruffles his hair and smoothes it back down. “You sure you can’t pull out?” 

“It’s Hardlock, Jin. Non-negotiable.” 

“Isn’t that incredibly unethical?” 

“Severely, but what do they care?” 

“I have a bad feeling about this.” 

You shrugged, faking confidence and hiding the tremble in your bones. “Relax. I don’t have to like the person. Just gotta marry them on paper and tell them I won’t be around.”

Run. You can just run, right? Run away, portcast to the farthest, most decent planet you can think of and live off your dirty pension? It sounds so much better than walking into that room.

But Namjoon turns and notices you through the wall, and he’s only one long stride away from opening the door. 

“Come in!” You can hear the forced smile behind his shiniest blue helmet—one he saves for special occasions—but he whispers his next words, “We may have gotten a little lucky.”

“What? What do you mean?” As you stand in the thin doorway, you drink in his response. 

“The dude isn’t even here.”

“Fantastic,” you drawl, sparing a quick side eye at the parents under the cover of your shield. Maybe he portcasted to the farthest, most decent pla—

“It doesn’t mean the contract is void, but it does give us some time to adjust. Here,” Namjoon steps to the side to allow you entrance, and you clench your fists in humid pockets when you enter the room. 

You have no clue what your Guardian means by that, but you decide to dismiss it when you finally notice something about the reticent couple at the table. 

They’re wearing Navim Shields.

Even you choked seeing the price of those.

This family doesn’t need a drop of your money.

So why the fuck are you here?

-

-

// LOGDATE: 3021.01.32, 0900

// LOCATION: HOMEPOD

// SUBJECT: STRESS RELIEF

“Did I hear you right? The guy didn’t even show?” 

“Why are you still here, Jin?” 

The slide and click of your door shutting behind you means that you’re finally cut off from the Outside, temporarily severed from responsibilities and new expectations and anxieties. No matter how often you left your home for missions, entering the Outside always caused your shoulders to tense until you set foot back in your entryway. 

And even though you will never admit it, seeing Jin’s sweatpants-clad form greeting you is already enough to ease your mind this time.

You shuck your backpack off in an unceremonious dump, sighing as you proceed to remove your eyeshield. 

Fuck.

The moment after removing protection is always a bit disorienting. Your corneas have to adjust to true colors after being suppressed by the shield technology, and it doesn’t help that depth perception changes dramatically. Jin is a lot closer than you think as you lower your eyeshield, and you flinch when he backs you up into your door. 

With one large, capable hand next to your head, he flashes a tiny smirk at your rain-soaked form. “You act like you don’t like it,” he whispers before leaning forward to mesh his lips with yours. 

You melt into his lazy kiss before grunting, meekly pushing his bare chest away and feeling the metal of his chain. “Jin,” you sigh, feeling a twinge of want when he swoops in again and pushes you flush against the door. 

This effectively shuts you up, throwing your need into overdrive as you give in and start tearing your clothes from your limbs. 

The gravelly chuckle that slides between your mouths sends heat between your legs. “Looks like I get you to myself for a bit longer.” 

You scoff as your damp jacket hits the ground with a plop. “We aren’t exclusive,” you hiss before grabbing his hair and tugging him into another sloppy kiss, chilled skin welcoming the warmth of his. 

His wonderful, enticing, tender skin. 

You don’t know what or who decided that Jin isn’t one of your SOLmates, but you still feel like you owe them everything. 

Because if he was, you would have only crossed paths with him three times max in your life. 

And you don’t think you could have lived with that circumstance.

Your hands fly to your pants next, but your focus is cut off by the hot mouth latching onto your throat. “We aren’t,” he agrees after a suck, “But I don’t see anyone else here. Do you?” 

Jin uses one hand to unhook your bra while the other slots between your thighs, grinding into your clothed cunt before giving it a firm swat. 

Fuck, he knows what you need. After the absolute waste of a morning, you’re ready to do whatever the hell he wants. 

But your drenched pants are your worst enemy at the moment. “Help me,” you bite out as you shove him away, frustrated that something so small is the thing that sets you off. 

It wasn’t the fact that you were a Hardlock match, nor the fact that your partner ghosted the meeting and you had to awkwardly stand there with his parents only to slink back home through the rain. 

No. Just your pants keeping you away from your fuck buddy’s leaking dick.

Jin stumbles back with a laugh before coming back to your aid, his fingers looping into your nemesis and pulling them and your underwear down your legs with ease. “Sweetheart is extra bossy today, isn’t she?”

“Just hurry up,” you grunt, going for another shove and stilling when a hand flashes up to block your arm. 

His eyes are lust-blown and determined as he stares you down, grip on your skin and tone just as hard, “Push me again and see what happens, sweetheart.” 

“Call me that one more time and see what happens, bitch,” you counter, eyes squeezing shut and stomach fluttering when Jin attacks with his mouth. 

Your hands are all over each other as he practically throws you back into the front door. While his are roughly palming your breasts and gripping the back of your wet neck, yours are scratching stress lines into his hair and raking through his shoulders. Desire seeps from your cunt, the entrance hot between your cold thighs. 

Everything is almost a replica of last night. Except this time, Jin still has his pants on. 

“Take those off,” you breathe out, water droplets falling from your head, “Just fuck me.” 

“Let me prep you.”

You moan when he rolls his pelvis into yours, ready to be just as split apart as you were a mere twelve hours ago. Desperate, you shake your head. “Don’t need it,” you lie, “I can take it.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yes.” 

“Shit. Okay.” 

After Jin loses his sweatpants, he doesn’t even stand back up fully before you’re clutching his cock, sliding your cold fingers along his shaft once before reaching to cup his balls. Hearing his breathy groans causes more slick to build in your center, and you lean forward to swirl a tongue over one of his nipples. 

“Fuck, baby.” You feel a hand grip the back of your head before it’s tugged back. “Come here.” 

Saliva rims your mouth from your sloppy work, but Jin doesn’t care as he smashes his lips back into yours, tongue on a mission to close your airway. A commanding hand grabs one of your legs to widen your stance, which is the reason for your shock when you’re suddenly spun around. 

Years of reflex and combat training save your face from butting the doorframe, but you still grunt, smirking when you feel hands roughly tug your hips. 

As Jin’s deep voice slides onto your bare back, your cunt flutters while your mouth widens. 

“You can take it, right? Prove it. Sweetheart.” 

For the rest of the night, he makes you forget. 

Your shit job. 

The shit Hardlock. 

And whatever other bullshit you have to be prepared for come morning.

-

-

-

-

CHAPTER I

-

-

Just because it happens once, doesn’t mean it can’t happen again. 

There have been countless records of people with more than one SOLmate, which spurned humanity to escape and flee into the stars. Voyagers are synonymous with cowards, hermits comparable to corpses in coffins—the inevitable has been proven and yet everyone still runs from the truth. 

However, there are people that run towards it. People that forego any armor or suppressor clothes or eyeshields. Those are the ones that suffer the quickest, all because they yearn for that feeling of ignition. The Great Flare. The Eruption. The Inferno.  

It’s a high. 

But everything ends just the same. 

Ashes. 

Ashes walk with no purpose, no soul, no life. What were once vibrant, intentional humans are now husks of a being, nothing but dust with wisps of memory. 

And when left alone too long? 

Their veins protrude and shine like lava; their eyes burn like dying stars. Light shoots from their mouths in a bright beam, angry and orange and devastating, as if a furious sun is fighting for escape. Skin hardens. Splinters. Breaks. 

And the only instinct that remains is to ravage everything around them until they are effectively stopped. 

-

-

// LOGDATE: 3021.02.01, 0600 

// LOCATION: HEADQUARTERS, BRIEFING ROOM 

// SUBJECT: NEW GUY 

“Took you long enough.” 

“Fuck off, Min.” You dump your boots on the nearest surface, which so happens to be a glowing console with multiple buttons and levers. 

The man situated behind it jolts his arms up at the bang, stuttering out as his helmet reflects the lights in front of him, “Hey, you might—” 

“It’s fine,” you snap, getting a snort out of the drowsy man at your back. 

“Damn. Did you two not fuck at all or something? Why’re you so pissy?”

Jin is the one that answers for you, voice taut and raspy from the little amount of sleep you both got last night. “Watch it.”

“Cute.”

Both of you groan a less-than-hearty “Shut up” before parting ways, taking your seats around the circular planning station occupying most of the room. 

Well, Jin takes residence next to a chuckling cohort and you settle on the other side of the table, holograms of mission details and discovered Ashes that need to be salvaged hovering over its dark surface.

One of them looks like your cousin, but you blink and the illusion is dashed. 

The person only looks like her. 

It pains you all the same.

Once you realize how many are filing through, you click your tongue. “Fuck, again? I thought this many Ashes was a rare thing…”

Yoongi—the one that unceremoniously greeted you and someone you cannot stand—pipes up immediately, “Apparently not. But at least they’re all around the same area this time.” 

“I can see that,” you drawl. “But didn’t this just happen? I’ve never seen this many after we just salvaged a big group.”

Something feels odd about the reports flying in. Normally, a day would consist of checking into Headquarters to pinpoint Ashes, and flying out on hovercrafts or portcasting to whatever planet you needed to for a quick salvage. Once you were done with the jobs, you would either rendezvous with another unit that needed backup or simply go home and hate your life because of how fucked up your job really is. 

But right now, observing how many Ashes are pinging off a small planet in the same solar system, you’re wondering if this is going to be another Longnight. 

You just came back from one. That’s exactly why you and Jin… 

Shifting your helmet to face him, you can already see that he’s looking your way. Fuck, how you want him to whisk you back to your Homepod and make you forget your name and occupation a fourth time. It looks like he wants to do the same. 

A voice rumbles across the table as the most quiet salvager decides to offer input, “It’s strange, isn’t it? How we haven’t gotten new recruits for months until now?” 

“I dunno, Taehyung.” You tilt your head back to the displays smoothly cycling in front of your shielded eyes. “Could be the reason why we’re getting more recruits. We’re gonna start needing backup if this keeps continuing.” 

A helmet lowers as the man folds clothed arms. Seemingly to himself, he mutters, “I feel like they started recruiting before all of this, though.” 

“There’s another thing you should know about,” Jimin—the one with the least amount of salvage experience—chimes in, voice strained as if you might not like what he’s about to say. 

“Don’t be shy,” you bite. “Out with it.” 

“Well… Speaking of recruits, we have a new—”

The obsidian doors of the circular space hum low as they slide open, and every helmet in the room snaps toward the newcomer’s easy strides. 

On instinct, you size them up under their salvager suit: masculine body type, strong shoulders but lean lower frame, slight tilt of their head indicating low level of interest or attitude, minor slump in posture. Seems a bit too laid-back for your tastes, but you keep the bulk of your opinions until you’ve seen someone in action anyways. 

“New guy,” Jimin finally finishes his statement, his tone changing from timidness to piqued curiosity. “Hello.” 

The stranger simply shifts their helmet Jimin’s way without a word.

Mm. You might end up liking them. 

Standing from your seat, you approach and stop some distance away. “First day?”

A nod. 

“Last name?”

“Jeon.” 

Stunned at how soft their voice is, you pause before asking, “How was training, Jeon?”

A shrug.

You huff through your nose in amusement, knowing that the training regimen is a bitch and a half. “Well, the real shit is nothing like it, so take a seat.” You start to stride back to your desk as a few laughs punctuate your statement. Because it’s true. “Especially since this mission might be a bit different.” 

You go over the briefing while circling through the holo displays, assigning everyone their pseudonyms and roles and targets. After a quick meeting, you check for understanding. “Group One first. Jin, Tae, Park: review.” 

Jin’s the first to speak as he slides fingers across the table, the motion transferring files into his eyeshield. “Callisto. Armory. A-142 and A-211.” 

A light voice cuts in right after as Jimin follows suit. “Elara. Retriever. C-002.” 

“Europa. Surveyor. B-299,” Taehyung sounds with disinterest, arms still crossed and back still slumped into his chair.  

“Good. Group Two.” Since you’re part of this one, you start. “Metis. Armory. A-327 and A-410.” 

The newcomer waits for Yoongi to review. When the guy is silent, they fill the gap. “Ganymede. Surveyor. C—”   

“Shouldn’t we check this dude’s stats before assigning him?” 

All of you shift focus to the lean frame at the back of the room. Miffed about everything that’s happening, you snip, “There’s no time for that, Min. We’re running low on our window as is, and training prepares recruits for all roles.” 

“New kid,” Yoongi asks, his words launching straight over your boiling head. “What are you good at?” 

Jeon doesn’t respond for a beat, instead swerving his helmet to you for some kind of approval. When you tilt your head as a sign to answer, he stutters out, “I, um. Armory.” 

“Huh. Took me two seconds.” 

Slamming the planning station, your frustration almost fogs the inside of your head gear, “I don’t have time for your insubordination, Min. Either get this out during planning or save it and shove it up your shitty asshole.” 

“Jin, seriously, tap that a little harder next time, yeah?” 

A ruckus starts on that side of the table before you get two steps out, with Yoongi’s dark material in Jin’s fiery grip. Jimin tries to separate them while reminding them about the mission, and Taehyung stays burning his gaze into the black glass in front of him. 

You already know that the new guy is a bit spooked from the commotion, judging by the stiffness of his shoulders that you caught before joining in the fray. He doesn’t know how common this really is—the snippy attitudes, the pre-mission tension, the pent-up anger. Eventually, he’ll get used to it if he stays.  

But fucking hell, it always has to be Yoongi getting you so riled up every time. If the two of you didn’t work so well together, you would have requested his transfer to the Venus or Pluto Units expeditiously. 

Frankly, you would send him straight to Mercury if you had that power. They always have problems happening there. 

But you’ll settle for a firm grip of his collar for now, shoving Jin aside as you take your place in front of your verbal sparring partner. “Don’t fuck with me today, Min.” 

“I’ll settle for fucking you never, thanks.” 

“What’s with you? Nervous? Is our little kitty boy scared of the rain?” 

You can’t see his face, but you know that statement received an eyeroll, which you’re happy about. Releasing him with a shove, you make your way to the doors, not looking at any of the hovercraft pilots at their consoles or the new kid still glued to his seat. “Jeon, take Armory. We’ll switch roles but keep our same targets. I’ll figure something out before we portcast and fly out.” 

“Okay.” 

“And Yoongi?” 

The figure across the planning station straightens, as do Jin and Jimin beside him. 

Childishly, you gloat, 

“Never is right. You couldn’t get this pussy even if you begged.” 

-

-

// LOGDATE: 3021.02.01, 0800 

// LOCATION: PLANET VALGA, HOVERCRAFT STATION 

// SUBJECT: ANOTHER LONGNIGHT  

-

-

-

end of teaser.

-

A/N: if you managed to make it here, hello! i know this is vastly different than what i usually write, but i am having so much fun with this universe already and it’s super refreshing. let me know what you think/what you liked, if anything!  ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ ⇥ masterlist

[ikjun]

mutuals as svt songs & members + why please!

i love when we get to do this !!!! let’s go in svt’s age order

scoups / ash: @bisexualhobi - this works perfectly in my brain. ana is a leading figure for me in good ways and entertaining ways and they are not afraid to be honest while maintaining their boundaries and also being just ... a very fun person to be around! and an absolutely dependable friend, who just feels so solid and ride or die to me, i don’t ever have to worry where i stand with them. ash goes without saying. it’s svt’s most innovative and out-there song and fits them perfectly, and it’s like if anyone asked ana to make an svt song, that would be it.

joshua / second life: @kimtaegis - annie got josh the last time we did this, but it remains true bc if i am a deranged air sign, she is the person i somehow octopus attached myself to (sorry for being late, best friend !!!). there is a lot of depth to annie just as she is as well as to the beauty she inherently carries and how she sees the world. there is something so steadfast about her and i wish the whole world would see how great she is from the surface to every part of her. that’s also why i chose second life, it’s what i’d tell her in a song. it’s what i’d carry around in place of her wherever i am.

jeonghan / our dawn is hotter than day: @beyoonce - this makes sense for so many reasons. first of all, since our secret santa exchange, i just enjoy seeing ann on my dash - it reminds me just what a genuinely mischievous person she is while being so true to herself and so her. she keeps it real! somehow that reminds me of jeonghan, who is obviously a master trickster but true to himself. and odihtd always reminds me of ann (alongside simple) bc when it’s winter here, i know it’s summer for her.

junhui / GO!: @blingyjjong - the joy in life is about being every part of yourself, no matter how messy or not quite fitting or not exactly polished that is, as well as starting over (and over and over). it is quintessentially about getting up for your own sake. nina is always so jun-coded to me (it just makes sense to me! exuberant and yet so very real) and the song may be dk’s solo ost, but it’s a sentiment she deserves to hold in her heart all the time.

hoshi / happy ending: @ohoshi - the world has to crash and burn before i will not give you this song. it’s just so you and it’s just something i will always relate to you and i know you understand how good it is (bc it is, quite frankly, this good). the absolute unrelenting happiness i get when i listen to this song is what i get whenever we chat as well. and hoshi is a complete no-brainer, fierce as you are and determined to pull people along towards is a greener pasture. and i love and admire you for that grit, that honesty, and also for the levity you carry when i can’t.

wonwoo / fallin’ flower: @hwiyoungies - another one that is a no brainer! not only is belle my favourite wonwootual (<3) but also a person whose thoughts i usually agree with, as well as just someone very soft- and well-spoken (and rational when fandom spaces can not be that). also i still remember you liking my post about the best three svt songs being of their japanese discography, so one of those does belong to you and the beauty of fallin’ flower feels very much like your blog and posts feel to me.

woozi / vernon / all my love: @suuho - and when we will see you and woozi in the same room, only then we can be certain you are not the same person !!! anyways, anything but them would be a disservice to how i see you (the center of the world), to how you are towards the people you care about (which is extremely caring and nonsensical about it), and to how important it is for the world to know you are the very lovely grounded half of my bouncy and excited braincell but you also are the other half of me. i love no one more than you, my tiny gremlin guy with pretentious music taste, and that is why you also get all my love ...... no other song could ever say it better.

minghao / i can’t run away: @chanonara - there are not many people that i feel are subsequently so close in how i see the world, but abigail, you are one of my favourite people to talk to because you understand all of what i say with heartfelt care and i never not feel like we are on the same wavelength. the song choice may seem out of place for anyone but us, but i think you know exactly why it is here. you know where love should be placed and how.

mingyu / let me hear you say: @woozi - tumblr user yza woozi, what’s it like to feel like a very beloved backbone to my caratblr experience, because that is what you are. not to mention the distinctiveness you bring to all of your gifs, which reminds me of mingyu’s love for photography and how he uses it to document his life among and with svt. similarly expressive people! let me hear you say just feels like a song that matches your vibe, it could play in the background of your blog and posts and i’d be content!

dk / rock with you: @shownu-ssi - who else! who else but the most artistic and easily serotonin inducing person for the same type of person in my life. there is no one more fitting to when i think of dk than you. from your fierce creative spirit and singular care for the art you want to create to this only being matched by your love for people, and your love for this world, and your hope in it (and joy for the little things of it). it couldn’t be anyone else. rock with you is a song that gets me to tear up on a good day, not out of sadness, but because it reminds me so much of how happy i was this time last year. you made the colder season better, and we carry that through all the other seasons.

seungkwan / my my: @wonjinist - i just think there is something relentlessly optimistic and engaging about seungkwan and i just think that you can be the same, eri. sometimes when i have bleak days, seeing you on my dash and posting about so many different groups you love and all the songs you enjoy brings some much needed vibrancy back as well as makes me smile! my my is an mv that just feels so similar to your blog, as does the song, and i just love both a lot.

dino / hey buddy: @wonublr - hey buddy !!!!!! lee, you are easily one of my favourite people i met in caratblr, you bring such warmth and excitement and mirth to every one of our chats and just like with dino, i am simply rooting for you to succeed in everything you do and for you to express yourself any way you want to. and it’s so amazing to see every time! not to mention, thank you for making me more creative and inspiring me as well. hey buddy just fits you so well, because it has the same energy you have in my mind.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Six. Movies and Speedruns

warnings: swearing, many memes word count: 3.8k (not including pictures) (wow okay ash pop off!) 

behind the screen (irl!dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: LETS ALL JUST AGREE TO NOT LOOK AT THE DATES ON TWEETS AND STUFF BC SOME CHAPTERS ARE SO SCUFFED WITH DATES!!!! JUST KNOW THIS STORY STARTS MID NOVEMBER!!!!!!!! (in a world where covid doesn’t exist btw)

**********

.

**********

Unknowingly and unintentionally, Y/n let out a big sigh as she poured a glass of water.

"What's wrong, Y/n?" Naomi asked gently, coming up behind her and hugging her tightly.

"Peter."

Naomi hummed, a sign that she was waiting for Y/n to lead the conversation so she could follow because if it were up to Naomi, she would immediately start trash-talking Peter and she wasn't sure if that was the vibe right now or not.

Y/n shook her head in disbelief as she jumped up to sit on the counter. "He got so mad when he found out I slept over at Karl's."

"I'm sorry, Y/n. I wish you would just cut him off completely."

"I don't know. I know I should but... part of me wonders if he could ever go back to how he was when I met him. I would probably date that guy again but not who he turned out to be."

Naomi looked horrified. "No. You sound like you're considering hearing him out. No, is that a joke? He's a bad person."

"I'm not," Y/n reassured. "I'm just thinking hypothetically. Probably because I miss having someone..."

"Y/n, you have a ton of thirsty people in your mentions. If you really want someone that bad, just scroll through, land on one and I bet they're a million times better than that sack of burned potatoes."

Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. "Most of those are jokes."

"Not all of them," she teased.

"I know you're going to tell me anyway so just say it. Who specifically do you think isn't joking?"

"Dream," Naomi sang.

"Okay, crazy." Y/n reached over, staying seated on the counter as she grabbed a bowl from a cabinet on her left. She then leaned all the way right, reaching as far as she could, but couldn't quite grab a cereal box from the top of the refrigerator.

Naomi rolled her eyes as she helped, handing Y/n the box. She even went the extra step to get Y/n a spoon and the milk because she was that nice. "I'm not joking. Neither is he. Karl and I have talked about it and we both agree."

Y/n paused at her friend's words, her hand hovering over the milk that Naomi held out for her. "You guys gossip about my love life?"

Naomi set the milk next to Y/n, tired of holding it out for her. "Of course? Like we don't do that about Karl? Or you and him about me?"

She couldn't argue there.

"Karl says there's a different vibe from Dream when you join calls and I believe it. I mean, I've seen it during streams myself so I can only imagine how much more obviously in love with you he is during private calls.

"That 'vibe' is Karl's delusional mind creating things. He's too scared to talk to cameragirl so he's projecting onto Dream and I."

"Yeah, okay," Naomi agreed sarcastically.

Y/n huffed. "Besides, he's in Florida. I'm in North Carolina, in case you weren't aware."

"So you're saying if you lived in the same state, you'd date him?"

"I didn't say that." She honestly had never thought of it. Sure she liked hanging out with Dream and her stomach got butterflies when he talked directly to her and he made her smile harder than anyone ever had and he—

And she didn't like him like that. She had only officially met the guy like a week and a half ago and she didn't know what he looked like. There was no way you could catch feelings for someone without seeing them.

Naomi's expression fell again. "Distance doesn't matter, anyway."

"I swear if you say something about George I will slap you," she threatened through a smile and Naomi gave her an innocent grin back.

"If you're lonely, get on Tinder, not Peter. Or get on Dream. I have no qualms with that."

"Peter isn't even an option, Naomi." Y/n sighed, ignoring the comment about Dream.  "Also," she swallowed the last of her cereal and set the bowl down with a clank. "I'm gonna tell Peter I don't want to be friends anymore. Dream and George can be added to the list of Peter haters."

"You talked to them about it?"

She nodded. "You know how I have little gossip sessions with George? Well, Dream was there too this time."

"Well, of course Dream would hate Peter. We've established that he likes you."

"No, no, you and Karl delusionally hypothesized that."

Naomi tapped the counter methodically, a sign Y/n knew to signal that she was thinking hard. "Somehow, one day, I'll prove he does."

"Good luck."

"Wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes," Y/n perked up. "Go pick something, I'll get blankets."

She went to her room, grabbing her favorite cuddling blankets. She started leaving her room when she heard a ding on her open desktop, signaling that she had a call incoming from Discord. Cool timing.

"I'll be just a second, Naomi!" she called across the house before dropping the blankets on her bed and sliding her headset on, answering the call from Dream. "Hi, Dream!" She sat on her chair and tucked her knees to her chest.

"Hi," he greeted sweetly. "How are you doing today?"

"Much better than when we last talked. How are you?"

"Great now that I'm talking to you," he said smoothly. Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled anyway. "Are you busy?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My roommate and I are about to watch a movie."

"Ooh, what movie?"

"Not sure yet. Any suggestions?"

"Dark Knight. Unless you wanted me to say, like, Tangled or something."

"Yeah, girls' night is exclusively princess movies. Do you know nothing?"

"Apparently," he said with a laugh.

"What's up?"

"Oh, well, I was just gonna see if you wanted to be on call later with me, George, and Sapnap while I stream speedruns, but you're hanging out with your roommate so nevermind."

"Oh," Y/n deflated. "That sounds fun."

"I can push it back if you want to be part of it. If not, that's fine. I just thought it would be cool."

"No, no, no I really do want to, but I don't want you to have to push it back. When were you planning on starting?"

"In about an hour."

"I'll just join later if you're still playing. If that's okay that I come late."

"No. You have to be on time or not at all," he joked. "Of course that's fine," he assured. "And if I'm not playing anymore, you can still join... we usually talk for forever after we play games and it's fun. I would, er, we would love for you to hang out with us."

Y/n couldn't help the large smile on her face from staying even after they hung up and she walked back into the living room with her pile of blankets. She couldn't help it even when Naomi pointed it out and asked why she was so happy.

"Oh, uh, I've been invited to join Dream and them later for a stream."

"That vague answer doesn't warrant the shit-eating grin you have."

Y/n shrugged and cuddled more into her blankets. "What movie did you pick?"

*****

As the end credits rolled across the screen, Y/n yawned and looked over to Naomi in the dark. She was out like a light. Y/n stood up and made sure Naomi was covered in the blanket and she had a pillow. She crept back to her room and slid her headphones on, pulling up Discord where she saw the three boys' names still in a voice call.

She pulled up Twitch on her second monitor and looked for Dream's stream. It was already about an hour in. She clicked on it and her headphones echoed with the sound of George and Sapnap laughing like they said the funniest thing in the world.

"Shut up," Dream muttered. "Guys, what were the coords for the portal? Seriously, come on."

"Nobody tell him," George joked.

"George!"

"Where's Bugsyyyy?" Sapnap whined. "I want her to make fun of you with us."

"Half the stuff we're making fun of him for is about his big fat crush on her so..."

"George!" Dream yelled again. "No, it's not!"

Y/n smiled as she heard that, knowing it was a joke but laughing at the way Dream laughed at the accusation. She knew it wasn't serious or else they wouldn't talk about it on stream. George and Sapnap teased a lot, but certainly, they wouldn't out someone's crush in front of a hundred thousand viewers live.

"Oh!" Sapnap spoke out loud as George laughed loudly, both reading the text at the same time. "Speaking of..."

Dream waited for either of the two boys to elaborate but neither of them offered one. "What happened?"

"Bugsy texted us," George said off-handedly, typing a response to her. "She's coming in a second."

"Oh."

"What do you mean 'oh'?" Sapnap laughed.

"You guys have a groupchat?"

"Aw, jealous?" George asked.

Y/n joined at that moment, the first sentence coming from her Discord instead of Twitch being from Sapnap saying, "Would it make you more jealous to know our group name is Bugsy's Boys?"

"No, Sapnap, that's the one with Karl," George corrected. "The one with just you, me, and her is Bugsy's Boyfriends."

"WhAT?"

"I still don't approve of that, by the way," Y/n commented.

"Bugsy!!" Sapnap giggled happily. "You're finally here!"

"BUGSY!" George cheered.

"Hi guys!" Y/n laughed at the enthusiasm she was greeted with. "Hi, Dream!"

There was a few seconds of silence before, "Dream!!" George yelled right before the death screen appeared on the Twitch tab still opened on Y/n's right screen. "You idiot, what are you doing?! Why did you throw that run??"

She covered her mouth with the hoodie collar and laughed. "Off to a great start, bud."

"NO!" Dream yelled, knocking something, or somethings, off his desk. "Noooo! I didn't throw it, George, I FELL! Oh, that was going to be such a good run."

"What happened? How did you miss that huge ravine?" George asked while laughing. "It was literally right in the open. You didn't even try to use your water bucket."

"I-I was... I was distracted."

"By what? The completely open field with nothing blocking your vision?" Sapnap criticized with a laugh as well.

Y/n giggled to herself before letting her eyes trail to his chat, which was filled with the same accusations and guesses.

user5: BUGSY!

user2: DISTRACTED BY BUGSYS VOICE

user4: imagine saying hi so cutely that you make a man fall into a ravine

user1: are they dumb? obviously bugsy saying hi made his brain short-circut

user6: guys stop it wasn't bc she said hi. it was the g i g g l e

user3: DISTRACTED BY BUGSY!!!!

user8: HI BUGSY

user10: how to kill a man: hire bugsy to giggle and say hi directly to him

Y/n immediately blushed and covered her face again. She really had a habit of hiding even when no one could see her.

"Oh my gosh," Dream groaned, leaving the world and starting a new one. "Oh. My. Gosh. That's so annoying. I was doing so good."

"Oh," Sapnap laughed. "I understand now."

"What? What did I miss?" George asked.

"Just read chat," Sapnap explained. "They have the answer. Dream, your chat is so smart. Thanks for solving the mystery, chat!"

"No, they aren't ri— that isn't true!" Dream defended. "Chat, shut up."

"You sure?" Y/n asked teasingly, watching as his character paused when she started talking. Was she really making him this flustered just by talking? Surely not. He was just playing into the joke. He continued playing without saying anything, which made George and Sapnap laugh more.

The subject eventually changed and the atmosphere quickly became more relaxed and chill. Tonight was not a feral night like George had texted in all caps.

"Hey George," Y/n started, biting on her hoodie string with a smile because she knew Naomi would hear this when she watched the VOD the next day. "My roommate says hello."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered, making her laugh. "Let it go."

"Wow, I guess that's one way to treat your fans..."

"Fine," he sighed. "Tell her I say hello."

"Well, not if you don't mean it," Y/n teased.

"Yeah, George, you sound so unenthusiastic?" Sapnap asked.

"He's just flustered," Dream commented. "It's okay George, you can have feelings."

"Dream, you fell into a ravine because Bugsy said hi."

"Oh, come on! That's not—I just— I missed the jump! That's it!"

"I'm not flustered or unenthusiastic, I'm just tired, okay?" George explained, ignoring Dream, a yawn spilling out of him to prove it.

Y/n smiled. "Well, you could always let me give her your number if you really want..."

"No. If she had Discord you could give her that but not my phone number."

"Wait, really?" Y/n gasped. "Seriously?"

George laughed lightly. "Yeah, sure, why not?"

"YES! Okay, a huge win for the girls. Well, a huge loss for the fangirls but a huge win for the girls of this apartment."

"Oh my gosh," he muttered and she could practically see him rubbing his face in embarrassment.

"I'll send you her hashtag when she makes one so you know who to add back."

"She's going to make an account just to talk to George?" Sapnap giggled.

"Yes, dude!" Y/n defended. "She at least wants to be his friend, let her shoot her shot!"

Dream ended the steam soon after, not being able to focus enough to beat the end on any of his runs. He had streamed for just under two hours so he seemed to be getting tired as well. George went to bed soon after and after 20 minutes of talking with Sapnap and Dream, Sapnap mysteriously disappeared.

Y/n was about to leave as well, not wanting Dream to feel obligated to stay on the call with her when he spoke up.

"Does Naomi actually like George?"

"Yeah, she does."

"Then I want him to accept her love."

Y/n laughed. "How is he with long-distance relationships?"

"Well, he and I do just fine..." Dream joked. "Oh, not what you meant. I don't know, you guys are the ones that talk about each other's love lives apparently."

"You're still bitter about that?"

"Yes!"

"Suck it up," she laughed. "Naomi would do probably anything to date him so I doubt distance is a problem for her."

"George's sleep schedule is completely messed up, so the time difference wouldn't matter too much. And when he comes to America they can meet in person."

"Wait, he's coming to America?" Y/n gasped happily. "When?"

"There's no set date, but yeah eventually. He'll probably just come to Florida but we've all talked about having a huge meetup with a lot of our friends."

"Oh... cool..."

"Bug? You know you'd be invited to that, right?"

"Oh, really?" she smiled.

"Of course. You're part of the group now."

"Sick," she muttered to herself, but he heard.

"Bug, you're one of my favorite people, do you know that?"

She blushed. "Really?"

"Really."

"You barely know me, Dream."

"Yeah, well, I know enough to know that I'm sorta attached to you."

"Attached to me? In what way?"

He suddenly sounded nervous as if his brain caught up with what his mouth was saying. "I don't know, nevermind."

"No, Dream, what do you mean?" her voice was soft and understanding and it made him feel safe.

"I just... I don't know. I care about you a lot. We met only, what, like a week or two ago, and I already worry about you a lot. Playing games doesn't feel the same anymore unless you're playing with us."

"To be fair, we have been tweeting at each other for much longer than a week or two."

"Yeah, that's true. But it's not the same as actually talking to you."

She smiled shyly. "I care about you a lot too, Clay." His name sounded strange as if it suddenly made everything much more serious. "Sorry, that just kinda slipped. I won't call you Clay if you don't want me to—"

"No, it's okay, it, uh, I like hearing you... say it. But, uh, you can call me whatever you want."

She smiled widely at the nervousness in his voice and the hard pounding of her heart. "I've heard from multiple people that you never stop talking about me."

He laughed timidly. "Maybe. Do you talk about me?"

"Ask Karl," she giggled. "My guess is yes." Her stomach felt tingly and her hands shook lightly. Why did she feel like this all of a sudden? It was late, she reasoned. That, or it was because Naomi had planted the seed of curiosity in her mind. Did Dream like her? No... right?

"I'm sorry if my chat was making you uncomfortable at the beginning when I died..."

"Don't worry, I wasn't uncomfortable."

"It was true, by the way," he paused, "what they were saying. Just... in case you were wondering."

Y/n couldn't wipe the smile off her face, which was growing painful at this point. "What, my voice makes your brain short-circut? That was one comment I saw."

Dream laughed. "More like your entire presence, but... yeah I guess so."

How is someone supposed to respond to something like that? The sweetness in his voice almost made her sick but in a good way.

And just like when he named her Minecraft flower something sweet knowing that no one would see it, why was he still playing up the joke when no one was around?

Not knowing what to say, she decided to let him in on a little secret. "If it matters, you're one of my favorite people too."

"It does."

There was a deathly moment of tense silence as if both of them were screaming to say something but neither did.

"Basically, if we do have a meet-up, I'll sue you if you don't come."

Y/n laughed. "My pockets are empty, sir, so... good luck."

He laughed and it was music to her ears.

"Are you not nervous to show everyone your face? Like, if or when we do all get together."

"Not really. Especially not if it's just to our friends. Are you?"

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Why?"

She sighed. "I'm sure people have me painted in a specific way in their heads and I've seen fanart of me that is way different and way more attractive than I am. I just don't want to let anyone down by not living up to their expectations."

"Bug," Dream said softly, "you couldn't let anyone down."

"You don't know that."

"You can't disappoint real friends or real fans with the way you look."

"To be clear, Dream," she laughed nervously, afraid she would sound conceited, "I don't think I'm ugly. I like the way I look. I'm happy with me. But that doesn't mean I can't still let people down."

"Different than expected doesn't mean disappointing."

His words smacked her in the gut. He was right. Reality and imagination are very different. Neither has to be better or worse than the other. She could look the complete opposite of how someone expects but that doesn't mean they will be either disappointed OR pleased. And why does it matter anyway? If she likes how she looks, who cares what other people think?

"It's also scary to think of getting recognized in public," she admitted. "Being recognized from the start is one thing because it starts off slowly with only a few people knowing your face but if the first time people see your face is when you have millions of fans, the recognition would be overwhelming."

"That's true. I don't think I would mind that much, though."

"Of course not, you're you."

"What does that mean?"

"You like the spotlight."

"I guess. Not all the time."

"Well, what about you?" she asked. "Are you afraid of people knowing what you look like?"

"No. I want to do a face reveal soon but I don't know how I would do it. I want to do it at some kind of event or something but I don't know."

"I need to schedule around when you do it because you'll break the internet. Give us content creators a warning so we can prepare to not get viewers for a week."

Dream laughed. "Oh come on."

"Twitter would just be full of the same picture of you in every single tweet."

"It won't be that big of a deal."

"Something tells me your millions and millions of subs say otherwise."

"Whatever," he said. "As if you wouldn't break the internet too."

"Maybe for a day or two. But you'd break everything for weeks."

"Sure." There was a long pause before Dream softly said, "Karl's lucky."

"How so?"

He didn't speak for a moment, almost like he wasn't prepared for that question because he didn't mean to be heard. "I wish I could know you the way he does."

"You could. He and I knew each other in person first so it's different. You and I could get there eventually."

"You think so?"

"I know so. I trust you a scary amount for someone I met weeks ago."

"I didn't mean to sound like I'm trying to pressure you into showing me your face or telling me your name. I didn't mean like he gets to know what you look like and I don't. I meant, like, I wish we could hang out in person because I prefer that over talking in Discord."

"I get it, Clay. I feel the same way," Y/n said softly. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again.

"Oh, gosh, it's already four."

Y/n's head snapped to look at her clock, which read 3:57am. "Already?" she whispered. "Dang."

As if acknowledging the time changed the atmosphere, it suddenly felt like 4am. Her back ached from her shifting in her chair so much over the last few hours, never being able to find a good position. The house was eerily quiet and all she heard was the low hum of the heater. The house felt stale, not used to its occupants being so alert and awake at that hour.

"I should probably go to bed..."

"Yeah, me too," Dream agreed. His voice sounded tired. "Thanks for joining us, it was really fun with you."

"Thanks for inviting me. Sorry I made you die. Hopefully you'll still let me back again."

"You're always invited to barge into my streams. Actually."

Y/n giggled again and mentally slapped herself for sounding like a little kid. "Well, you too. You can interrupt my streams anytime."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Goodnight, Clay."

"Goodnight, Bug."

**********

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[imustbenuts]

when Ash was released in the game I thought they were referencing the huldra, but after reading your post it made think DAMN THAT WORKS TOO--

!!!! anon!!!! ilu ilu ty for the ask!!

Funny thing is the idea of Norse/European mythos never crossed my mind when I saw Ash, honestly bc I don't actually know much about both... See, I was already starting to suspect something was up with FEH's concept when darker skinned summoners became a selectable portrait starting from I think FEH 5.2? Might sound weird but the combo of gold circlets and darker complexions got me thinking about India.

India happens to also be the birthplace of Buddhism. While FEH is ultimately another game from Japan, they tend to mix things up for twistsy twists so I was never down to conclude things. Ash could have Huldras mixed into her concept, it's entirely possible.

As a result, I actually thought of Hinduism first when I saw Ash. Her design has a lot of elements borrowed from Hinduism/India. Just like... Look at her.

For example, this armband is something I notice India folks occasionally wearing irl... They also incorporate lots of gold into their clothes.

Not of India descent myself so this is all I'll comment to avoid unintentionally saying something ignorant.

=x=;;

Next is her beast form, which is this white holy looking cow but it looks absolutely nothing like the species of cows typically kept in farms for beef. Those farm cows are usually black/white or brown, not pure white.

See, nothing alike, right?

Ash instead reminds me of these 2 pictures below. White cows which are typically seen in India, are protected and venerated. They just straight up refuse to kill cows there in accordance to their religion. Seems that they associate cows with the mother of Gods. I've stumbled on the 2nd image down here by chance so that came to mind first.

I decided not to jump to conclusions but once Askr's design came out I lost it, mainly because I felt alone in noticing these things. Norse mythology seems to be the text, and Buddhism/Hinduism feels more like a subtext. Unfortunately without going into a lengthy analysis I can't just yell why it's the case without sounding like a nutcase. I probably still sound like one right now. (EDIT: here's my unhinged rambling about it)

Ty again for the ask anon and uh sorry for over sharing my thoughts on Ash klasdfaskjdf;as.

[salsdemise]

Can I request a Sally face x reader fic? Possibly a confession and first kiss an da party or something like that, thank you!

Hey anon, sorry if this is bad, I'm assuming you meant sal, and if not just lmk and I'll re-write this for another character if you want.

Warnings: Underage drinking, underaged smoking, parties, y/n used in place of your name, really awkward with the confession part? idk how to write those

word count: 1479

other: gender neutral terms used, sal's speech is in blue bc sometimes its unclear whos talking bc i didn't know what to put between the words spoken lol playlist listened to while writing: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5SMv6Go27KIcbfL07wkQ4m

This party wasn’t where you wanted to be right now. Hell, you’d rather be at school, getting pushed around by the kids in the hall right now. Anywhere was better than this loud, flashy,party filled with the smell of cigs, weed, alcohol and sex wafting off of every teen you passed.

Why you had come to this party in the first place had slipped your mind, as now you were more focused on not getting backed into a corner with a potted plant by a group of your peers. Maybe it was because your friend Larry wouldn’t shut up about how fun it was going to be, maybe it was because you would have felt bad saying no, or maybe it was because you certainly weren’t going to pass up on an opportunity to potentially hang out with Sal Fisher, your long time crush and close friend.

Holding your now empty red cup, you navigated your way through the crowd of drunken and dancing teens, most who were nice and giggly as you passed, slurring apologies at you if they bumped you.

While you weren’t all sober yourself, you had enough remaining cognitive ability to form full thoughts, and the only one on your mind was finding one of two people; Sal or Larry. You had no doubt Larry was off smoking with gods know who, so that left one option, and if your brain wasn’t mistaking you, you had seen the electric-bluenette near the door to the backyard in the kitchen not too long ago. So that’s where you set your sights.

When you arrived at the kitchen, you were happy to know that you were indeed correct on where you had last seen Sal, just outside on the patio, sitting hunched over a cup, the bottom straps of his prosthetic undone and dangling. Murmuring a few ‘excuse me’s at the teens you passed on the way, you made your way out to the back, opening and exiting the door and catching the bluenette’s attention. Seating yourself next to him, you said nothing, not sure of what to say.

“Didn’t think you’d actually show. Lar said you were coming, but I thought he was bluffing again,” Sal spoke, sipping on his drink.

You laughed at this, “yea, no, he actually convinced me to come. Not sure how, but he did. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d see you here either. You always talk about how much you hate parties, especially ones that have inebriating drinks,” you set your cup down next to you, and a small breeze knocked it over as soon as your hand left it.

“I don’t, hate em. Managed to get someone to get me something non-alcoholic, though. What have you had to drink?” He motioned to your, now rolling, red cup to emphasize.

“Oh, nothing too strong. They had a punch bowl in there so I took some of that,” thinking back to it as you spoke, it was odd the hosts of this party put a punch bowl out at a party with no need for it. However, you and Sal both seemingly shrugged it off and continued talking.

Conversation between the two of you had always come so naturally, switching between topics and tones, talking about people, your home state, his home state, and the likes.

“Man, I cannot believe he did that! It was like, super awkward between us for a week,“ you laughed, finishing a story about how Larry had tried to ask you out when high. Luckily the guy wasn’t too upset and took no for an answer.

“Hey, y/n, about asking people out...have you ever done it?” Sal questioned, messing with his sweater sleeves now that his drink was gone and his cup had also flown off.

“Oh, uh, not like, here at Nockfell, but in the past I asked a guy in my grade to go to a valentine’s day dance with me. Why?” you responded, tilting your head at him.

“I want to ask this person out, but I’m not sure how.”

“Oh. Well, what do they like? How long have you known them? And how close are you two? You can’t just ask out a random person you barely know, it won’t go well.”

“Well, they like a lot so it’s...kinda hard to put into words. I’ve known them for years now, and I’d like to say we’re pretty close.”

Thinking, you went quiet. As much as it hurt you to know your crush liked someone else, you were going to help him as best you could.

“Well, I’d give them a note, personally. I’d probably piss myself if I tried to tell them upfront. But it depends on how you wanna do it.”

Sal quietly thinks for a few seconds before standing up and fixing his mask, “Thanks for your help dude. We should get going, I’ll go find Larry and we can get out of here.”

You nod, standing and following Sal back into the house, heading for the front door while Sal went off to find Larry. With your mutual friend acquired, you all left for home, depositing Larry at his place and heading to your own beds, tired now that the social buzz had worn off.

Over the next week, you and Sal talked less and less, notes popped up in your locker, and small things like patches, stickers, pins and snacks appeared with them. You were confused to say the least. You loved everything this admirer gave you, and the notes were adorable, even if they were typed and printed rather than hand written, but you wondered why Sal had stopped talking to you as often as he did.

As the weeks progressed, you had started to like the secret admirer that was leaving you small gifts and notes reminding you how much they liked you. But the most recent note, which you had gotten on a sunny and warm Wednesday, really caught your attention. This time, it was handwritten in blue pen ink, the handwriting surprisingly neat, completely eliminating who you thought it was.

The note read: “y/n, meet me in the courtyard during lunch/break time. -<3”, and not wanting to disappoint, you waited with an uneasy shake until lunch came around where you went straight to the courtyard. Seeing no one, you sat on the ground by a tree to wait until your secret admirer got there.

10 minutes later, the heavy doors opened and closed with a thud, catching your attention and causing you to look up where you saw Sal, mask in hands, and looking down.

“Sal? Are you the one that wanted to meet me here?” You were..puzzled to say the least. Sal had hardly talked to you in weeks, and you thought he liked someone else like Ash, but it seems you were mistaken.

“Uh, yea, I am. I know you’re..probably upset at me for not talking to you in the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to say something stupid too soon. I hope you’re not too mad..”

“Sal, I’m not mad. I thought you were busy trying to get your mystery person to like you..and I guess I was right, but I didn’t think it’d be me..”

“Who else would it have been? You and I are as close as Larry and I are, we like the same things and I’ve known you since you got here. Hell, I’ve been pining over you for years now, but last year when Lar told me he was gonna try and shoot his shot, I tried to get myself to like Ash so I wouldn’t feel like shit if you said yes.”

“Oh, Sal. I thought it was Ash, you talk so much about her sometimes, I thought you actually liked her.”

“Oh, no, I don’t. She helped me with this, actually. Which reminds me, if its not obvious already, I really fucking like you. Like, you make me feel happy and just thinking about you makes me feel like I’m on cloud nine.”

Smiling at his words you stood to go over to him, putting your hands on his shoulders so he would look up at you, “I like you too, Sal. Like, a lot. I have for a while, and when you asked how to ask someone out,I..it hurt a little bit.”

Saying nothing at your words, Sal moved forward and wrapped you in a hug, his mask landing in the grass behind you two. Before you could return the hug, Sal backed up and his hands grabbed your face pulling you in for a kiss. Giving you time to react this time, you kissed back, your hands placing themselves over his.

Now, sitting at a college party with your boyfriend, you think to yourself, ‘Maybe parties aren’t so bad after all.’

[noirineverysense]

#42 for the writer ask game :v

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality etc.

Representation is super important to me so a lot of my characters are of different races. Arthur's my first oc and he's white bc that's always what I thought characters had to look like. When I imagined myself in fictional circumstances, I imagined myself as white (as weird as it sounds), I genuinely did not see non-white characters growing up, especially since I went through so many books as a kid without any POC in them. So yeah everytime I make a character, one of my first thoughts are, what ethnicity have I not represented in my writing yet?

Talon and Claw as well as Nasira are black for personal representation. Talon and Claw are both really important to me because the detective/noir genre is my favourite but also incredibly white. They're both rough around the edges and hard to get on with, completely different to the overly nice, non threatening supporting black stereotypes in media. Nasira is too and is quick to give her opinion on something, shes not always easy to get on with and her wearing a hijab doesnt magically change her personality.

Arthur's personality is based on my favourite trope, the self-sacrificing, self-loathing leader who wants nothing more than to protect his team. Zak is just my love of classic protagonists put into a character and I love seeing those characters being vulnerable too. So theyre both characters who are inspired by some of my favourite character types. So is Max actually, i love a lot of kids media and I love a kid with big eyes full of wonder dealing with some shit lol

Isaac's personality is just the opposite of Arthur's, friendly and calm to Arthur's stern, angry front. I like character foils which is what Isaac is to Arthur and Ash is to Zak. Isaac and Ash are also the canonically hot ones lol

Other characters I make, like Rosie and 274 are just a product of a story I wanted to tell and the way they look was just how my brain imagined those characters.

[ashdumpsterpile]

Ohmygod YES Susan Pevensie is awesome please talk to me about Susan i want to know everything you have to say

Literally THANK YOU for asking me this bc Susan Pevensie is a character I never get asked about and I have So Many Opinions.

I'm going to start by saying that Susan used to be my least favorite character in the series. This goes for the books and the movies. Some of it was for personal reasons--she reminds me of a couple of annoying ppl I know irl--but it was also bc I watched Prince Caspian which shoehorned her into a relationship with Caspian which I hated.

HOWEVER. I ended up rethinking this position after interacting with Susan fans and realizing that there are so many wonderful things to love about her!

(putting under the cut bc this got long)

Things Ash Loves About Susan Pevensie

Aight I'm not going to do a formal analysis yet on her, but instead rant about some of the unrelated things I adore about Susan Pevensie.

Susan the Archer

Look we all love archery here. I don't have anything more to say.

Okay, I actually do have more to say. I love the fact that Susan is a complete badass with the bow. You get the general impression that she's one of the royals in charge of public relations, traditions, foreign policy, etc. and yet she's the most competent archer in the series. One of the few things I liked about the movies is how they didn't downplay this. They actually let her be a badass and show off her skills.

Also the part where she kicks Trumpkin's ass was awesome.

Susan the Gentle

Susan being the most passive Pevensie was something I definitely underappreciated as a teenager. I think my non-ability to see past "I'm not like other girls" narrative and the combination of Susan being described as the most traditionally feminine woman in the Narnia series is what initially turned me off from her.

HOWEVER, now it's one of my favorite attributes! I love that Susan is a badass and the most beautiful woman in Narnia. She has hair down to her feet, every man and woman in the kingdom want to fuck her, and she's still a fucking badass who will not hesitate to kick your ass.

Susan the Sister

Most of my thoughts of Susan as an older sister mostly stem from my own personal headcanons, but she is an awesome sister to her siblings. She's Peter's voice of reason, Edmund's sass partner, and Lucy's big sister.

Susan the Mom-Friend

She is a literal mother-figure for Corin.

"[...] the most beautiful lady he had ever seen rose from her place and threw her arms round him and kissed him, saying: "Oh Corin, Corin, how could you? And thou and I such close friends ever since thy mother died. [...]"

-The Horse and His Boy, 33-34

Most everything I have to say about this ventures into headcanon territory, but I love the idea of Susan basically adopting Corin after his mom dies. The way she trusts Cor--who she thinks is Corin in this chapter--is really sweet and I wish we could've seen more of that relationship.

Susan the Flawed

Something I notice from the fandom is a lot of people who hate Susan tend to because of her flaws. On the other hand, most Susan stans like to wave away these flaws and blame C.S. Lewis for being misogynistic or Aslan for being a "cruel god" and ignore the fact that she is a deeply flawed person.

Susan gets something of a "reverse redemption arc" in The Chronicles of Narnia. This makes her not only a fascinating foil to Edmund--as both are analytical, logical people--but an interesting character by herself.

She starts out in TWW as very skeptical of Narnia and it's whole deal and also very condescending to Lucy throughout. She ultimately does admit that Lucy was right and does get on board with the whole prophecy at the same time Peter does, and ends the book being crowned "the Gentle Queen."

In The Horse and His Boy, she has a very interesting dynamic with Edmund and in even more interesting relationship with Rabadash. They don't even interact on-page with each other, but it's highly implied that she was interested in him when he was a guest in Narnia. His behavior obviously changed when she visited him in Tashbaan, but you have to wonder what their dynamic was like before for her to travel all the way to his home when relations between the countries were strained at best.

Prince Caspian is where the cracks start showing through. Susan has lived an entire life as an adult in Narnia, gets thrown back to England with her siblings, and is yet again in Narnia as a child. This book is what really emphasizes her one fatal flaw: convenience.

(Put a pin in that thought, I'll get back to it.)

Susan denies once again that Lucy saw something that the rest of them can't seen. She continues this narrative until every other sibling finally acknowledges Lucy in the right and only then does she apologize.

The last mention of Susan is in The Last Battle, where all of her flaws rise up against her in the worst way possible. I have a lot of controversial opinions on this that I'm going to address later, but I just want to say that Susan's reverse-redemption arc is something I actually like about her.

(There is also evidence that Susan does get a full redemption arc, just as Edmund and Eustace did, but C.S. Lewis was pretty much done with The Chronicles of Narnia at the point and instead encouraged fans to write their own version of how that went down.)

Okay, back to convenience being Susan's fatal flaw. So the one thing that comes up time and time again in the series is that Susan is very focused on material comforts. I believe it's implied that she's vain, and it's canonical that her own personal comfort spurs her to make decisions.

"[...] I really believed it was him — he, I mean — yesterday. When he warned us not to go down to the fir wood. And I really believed it was him tonight, when you woke us up. I mean, deep down inside. Or I could have, if I'd let myself. But I just wanted to get out of the woods and — and — oh, I don't know [...]"

Prince Caspian, 81

Prince Caspian has the strongest examples of Susan doing this, but certainly there's evidence elsewhere. There are a lot of fans who are distressed by this, claiming that Aslan and the others are too hard on her and shouldn't judge.

Honestly, I like that she's written with this flaw. Not only is it very relatable--(my own personal comfort and convenience is something I highly prioritize too)--but it humanizes a character who otherwise is ridiculously op and basically the Helen of Troy of the series. It may sound like I'm using this as an excuse to rant, but I really wouldn't have her any other way.

Susan As Portrayed by Anna Popplewell

Movie!Susan is a fucking delight.

She's sarcastic and badass and awesome and I could spend hours heaping praise on Anna's acting and her portrayal of Susan, but I can already tell that this post is going to be long so, I'll just stop here.

(10/10 want to be stabbed by her tho.)

Personal Headcanons

Let's talk about my fanon thoughts. I have many.

Susan is Aro

There's canonical evidence for this! Susan is a character who is heavily pursued by suitors everywhere, and even lets herself be courted by many of them, but chooses not to settle down. Even when she gets back to England and is described as only having interest in parties and material things, boys aren't mentioned.

I like to think that in The Horse in His Boy Susan was interested in Rabadash at first because he was a brilliant conversationalist. Nothing she says about him implies romantic interest, before and after she realizes the truth of his intentions.

Susan and Edmund Were Best Friends

This might be my love for The Horse and His Boy showing itself, but I think Susan and Edmund were thrown into circumstances where they interacted the most with each other.

Edmund is the ruler in charge of politics. Susan is the ruler in charge of Cair Paravel's public image. I imagine they spent time as ambassadors to other countries and planning royal functions.

They're also the most level-headed and logical out of their siblings, so they probably found a lot in common.

Susan Fancast

I literally just said I loved Anna's potrayal of Susan's (and I love what they gave us of older Susan too in LWW!), but I read the books in 2008 and my parents didn't let me see the movies bc I was like...nine years old and they thought it would be too scary.

So I had to headcanon my own interpretations.

Queen Susan the Gentle:

For some reason Merlin wasn't too scary for me to watch and I fell in love with Katie McGrath in like. Two episodes so. (On an unrelated note, I also fancast Bradley James as Peter at the time.)

Anyway, fanon Susan is basically Morgana Pendragon pre-evil arc. Sassy as hell, hot as fuck, and can kick your ass.

Unpopular Opinions

Yeah, feel free to skip this part if having controversial fandom opinions is a deal breaker for you.

The Problem With Susan Isn't Actually A Problem

I'm about to start so much discourse in the Narnia fandom, but C.S. Lewis's choices with her in The Last Battle weren't misogynistic. Bear in mind, I'm not saying that all of his writing choices in the series were A++ or excusing away certain racist/sexiest bits, but it's honestly baffling to me that people are so up in arms over Susan's exclusion in the final book.

So the part that everyone loses their shit over is as follows:

"My sister Susan," answered Peter shortly and gravely, "is no longer a friend of Narnia."

"Yes," said Eustace, "and whenever you've tried to get her to come and talk about Narnia or do anything about Narnia, she says 'What wonderful memories you have! Fancy your still thinking about all those funny games we used to play when we were children.'"

"Oh Susan!" said Jill, "she's interested in nothing now-a-days except nylons and lipstick and invitations. She always was a jolly sight too keen on being grown-up."

"Grown-up, indeed," said the Lady Polly. "I wish she would grow up. She wasted all her school time wanting to be the age she is now, and she'll waste all the rest of her life trying to stay that age. Her whole idea is to race on to the silliest time of one's life as quick as she can and then stop there as long as she can."

The Last Battle, 83-84

There's a lot to unpack here and I first want to say that everyone's opinion on this part, no matter how different than mine, is valid. I'm going to be quoting some other ppl's opinions on here and by no means am I bashing them. I just want to address my feelings on the matter and the best way to do that is to cite the thoughts of ppl who have opposing ideas.

Here are some arguments on Tumblr I've heard regarding "The Problem of Susan":

"How about we talk about what might have happened if Narnia hadn't deserted Susan? [...] What if we didn't tell Susan she had to go grow up in her own world and then shame and punish her for doing just that? She was told to walk away and she went. She did not try to stay a child all her life, wishing for something she had been told she couldn't have again."

"Narnia is filled with metaphors (often not very subtle ones) that are supposed to teach us how to be, and the most glaring one for any young girl to absorb is that it's okay to be a girl like Lucy, unthreatening and cheerful and valiant and faithful, but to be a girl like Susan gets you punished - in fact, you aren't just punished, you're destroyed."

"why do we call it ‘the problem’ where’s the problem about a young woman dealing with her trauma and choosing her own path, actively making the choice to keep living and to stay and to carve a life out in England when her siblings couldn’t? what is the problem about susan forgetting to somehow cope with what she’s experienced? why is it ‘the problem of susan’ that she recontextualised her faith?"

And then there's JK Rowling who said this:

There comes a point where Susan, who was the older girl, is lost to Narnia because she becomes interested in lipstick. She's become irreligious basically because she found sex. I have a big problem with that.

It's weird how I'm still finding new ways to hate JKR in the year 2021. Again, there is absolutely zero implication that Susan had sex when she came back to England. ZERO. Did she actually read the books? IDK. If someone shares this opinion pls reply with actual canonical evidence.

Back on topic, I'm a firm believer of death of the author and interpreting art via your own experiences. Which is why I'm also going to share my own interpretation by saying y'all are wrong.

Susan Pevensie was not abandoned by Narnia. She was not barred from Narnia because she is traditionally feminine or because she "owned her sexuality" (another opinion I didn't have time to condense down for this post) or because she recontextualized her faith or even because she deserved to be punished.

I also fail to see how Susan recontexualized her faith, as the entire point of it all is that she has none. Bringing this back to Susan's fatal flaw (personal convenience/material comforts), her prioritizing herself over her own faith is the reason she is "no longer a friend of Narnia." Not...whatever fanon y'all are imposing on her character.

Susan is not being punished for liking lipstick and looking pretty. Susan's not even being punished. Y'all read Neil Gaiman's The Problem of Susan and forgot it wasn't canon.

There are many reasons Susan is not in Aslan's Country (one of them being that she's not actually dead yet), but the main one has to do with this:

"[...] But there I have another name. You must learn to know me by that name. This was the very reason why you were brought to Narnia, that by knowing me here for a little, you may know me better there.”

Voyage of the Dawn Treader, 215-216

Yeah, okay that's why Susan is no longer a friend of Narnia. The implication when the Pevensies are told that they can no longer enter Narnia is that they are to find Aslan in other places. Susan doesn't do this, instead choosing to focus her life on material things. It isn't the lipstick, it's that she only wants the lipstick.

Susan Had Sex In The Books

Oh and not in the context y'all are thinking. (Again, there are no implications that Susan was barred from Narnia for having sex or that she had sex when she came back to England.)

So there's actual canonical evidence that Susan and Rabadash had a sexual relationship. Sort of.

"What think you? We have been in this city fully three weeks. Have you yet settled in your mind whether you will marry this dark-faced lover of yours, this Prince Rabadash, or no?"

-The Horse and His Boy, 35

Edmund calls Rabadash her lover. Not her suitor. I don't know if the word had a different meaning in 1954, but it feels like C.S. Lewis is saying that they're fucking. I'm not really happy with the idea of Susan sleeping with an abuser, but really proud of her for Getting Some as a woman born in a time period where having premarital sex was a big no-no.

This also invalidates the weird opinion going on that Susan was barred from Narnia because she had sex.

Suspian Is The Worst

I haven't really talked about Movie!Susan much, but as long as we're talking unpopular opinions, it's worth noting that I hate Suspian. Some of it is the "Susan is Aro" headcanon screaming inside of me, but it's also the fact that it's written poorly, does nothing interesting for either character and generally comes across as awkward.

I feel like they were trying to make Prince Caspian sexy and relevant to teens. It came across as super heteronormative and unnecessary.

It also gets really really weird bc the next movie then gives Caspian and Edmund mad chemistry and we're all just like........ok.

Final Thoughts

Susan may not be my favorite character in the series, but she's grown on me over the years. I have many issues with fanon interpretations of her--which definately fueled some of my disdain for her initally--and I don't identify as a Susan Apologist.

I do however adore Susan and have many headcanons for her not mentioned here. I love reading fanfic, writing fanfic and meta, and generally having conversations about her and would love to talk more about it.

I welcome criticism (CONSTRUCTIVE) and conversation on all of my opinions and observations. Please drop into my inbox. <3