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tobiosmilktea · 4 years ago

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high fidelity — kuroo tetsurou

3.9k words | genre: fluff | warning/s: terrible writers block writing, ooc kuroo cause i suck | pairing: kuroo x gn!reader

↪︎ in which being the only two employees at a small record store meant that you and kuroo worked together almost every day. and not a single day has passed that you didn’t find your coworker absolutely insufferable. you think he’s annoying, and he thinks you’re cute. in reality, kuroo just sucks at flirting.

a/n: is the plot a bit of a mess? lowkey yeah, but ykw that’s okay cause i needed something stupid to write. this was also a bit self-indulgent cause homegirl just got employed at a record store (yay)

fucking tired—is what you would tell kuroo in the means of his grand intervention to mess with his favorite coworker of all time. granted, you were his only coworker in the infamously meager record store down some random alleyway in downtown tokyo.

those six words were how you would describe how you felt at that very moment. busy with doing what you were employed on doing rather than sitting around and snacking on some trail mix. one would assume that working at a rather small establishment meant little to no work, especially in hours where it was slow with no customers roaming up and down the aisles, but god were you wrong. you were the only one on the shift actually busting your ass off on the floor and at the register while all kuroo does is change the music playing on the store’s overhead speakers and hangs out.

sure, he does do his fair share of work here and there. occasionally he would even take over most of the manual labor of carrying all the new shipments of heavy vinyl records for the sake of courtesy, but at the end of the day, it was always you who would have to restock the displays every time.

so much for being a gentleman.

your feet hurt, your legs ached, your arms were sore. you were just glad that kuroo finally decided to get his ass up and actually walk around for once. he probably wasn’t planning on doing any work, simply just meandering through the aisles of vinyl just to see what to buy next with his 20% off employee discount. you honestly couldn’t care less. what you did care about was that the stool behind the cash register (aka the only place to sit inside the entire building) was finally free.

you settled yourself behind the counter, a sigh escaping your lips as your chin rested atop the palm of your hand.

you finally had a chance to rest. yet despite taking this rare opportunity, you couldn’t help but feel the slightest bit bored now that the store was practically deserted. then again, what did you expect from working at a small business? not to mention, it’s the twenty-first century and all forms of media was digitized and easily accessible by a single internet search. there were, however, a few old souls out there, still in love with the idea of having a physical copy of their favorite artist’s work.

you were easily one of those people.

there was something so endearing listening to strangers talk about their love for music—it’s why you started working here at TRAX in the first place as a sorry excuse to surround yourself with the physical embodiments of the best invention mankind has ever made. hell, you still had the old walkman that your father gave to you. it was from the 90s with its gray plastic chipping at the corners and scratched-off lettering. you even had his old cassette tapes always in your bag whenever you go out.

regardless, the quietness of the store wasn’t at all bad at times. if anything, you were fortunate that kuroo wasn’t annoying the shit out of you like he normally does—poking at your cheeks and teasing you to no end. in fact, it was a nice break from the overstimulation of the occasional busy hours that come out of the blue. from old men mansplaining how record players work to annoying middle schoolers trying to blast their terrible soundcloud songs on the store’s bluetooth speakers. perhaps the slow hours were a godsend.

it was absolute hell trying to chase those annoying thirteen-year-olds out of the store with the help of kuroo. causing a ruckus or not, the situation was a bit funny at the end. it was one of those rare moments you and kuroo shared a genuine laugh together.

a sigh escapes your lips then as you take out your walkman, plugging in the old headphones that came with it. the black, plastic ones with thin muffs whose wires tangle no matter how much you try not to. you place them over your ears.

today’s mood was classic 80s rock, something along the lines of queen, guns n’ roses, and journey beating into your ears as you let your eyelids rest for a few seconds.

however, your means to relax was immediately shut down when a hand snatches your headphones off of your ears.

“ouch,” you groan as the plastic of the headset scratched at your temple. you look over your shoulder at your coworker with confusion plastered all over your face. “what was that for?”

kuroo blinks with a sly smile on his face, “those things still exist?”

you flick him a look, “what do you want?”

“you don’t get paid to sleep on the job, you know.” kuroo gives you a pointed look as he hands you back your headphones.

you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. the audacity. “i get paid by the hour and the store is literally empty right now,” you defend as you click your walkman on pause, “besides, aren’t you the one slacking all the time?”

“only when the boss isn’t around,” he hums.

“the boss is never around,” you huff.

“speaking of an empty store,” kuroo starts once again, watching you wrap the thin headphone wires around the body of your walkman. “d’you got any spare change?”

your eyes peer at him slightly, “what for?”

“to get a drink from the vending machines down the street, obviously.” replied kuroo.

yet another sigh left your lips, licking at its dryness as you reached into your pocket to reveal a few fifty-yen coins. it wasn’t much, but it wasn’t like anything from the vending machines in the city was that expensive. just anything to get him off your back again for peace of mind. “get me a one too while you’re at it,” you mutter, tossing the coins into his palm.

“why don’t you just come with me?” he asks, curious.

you shake your head, “i can’t leave the store unattended.”

kuroo clicks his tongue, feigning himself from rolling his eyes and just tugging you along with him. “come on, it’s not like there are any customers.” he gestures onto the barren floor as if its emptiness wasn’t already obvious enough.

“do i have to?” you groan. you just got comfortable and you weren’t exactly in the mood to walk all the way down the street either.

“yes,” he said sternly, hoping that it was enough to sway you, but surprise surprise! it didn’t. his unsuccessful (and oddly pitiful) attempt at convincing you to come with him caused the corners of kuroo’s lips to dip into a slight pout.

no matter how annoying your coworker was, thinking he wasn’t at all cute or the least bit attractive was a lie. when you look at kuroo, you’re not entirely sure what it was about him that made your heart skip a few beats despite your brain thinking the opposite. was it his sleek obsidian hair that was always styled perfectly? perhaps it was his eyes that were so pretty that if you looked at him for longer than a few seconds, you would be entranced? or maybe it was his witty charm that despite being annoying, you still found his presence nice to be around?

whatever it was, you hated to think there was even the slightest possibility that you liked kuroo more than you would like to admit. and the worst part of it all? perhaps you did like him more than a friend.

and that was the biggest problem.

how annoying, you think.

“pretty please,” he begged, his warm hands suddenly finding yours in the midst of your internalized dilemma and pulling you out of your thoughts.

the action catches you off guard as you snatch your hands back from his abrupt contact. eyes wide and heart beating heavy, you gulped when you noticed how close he was to you then. the action of you pulling away from him only brought kuroo closer like some odd twist in fate.

your thoughts pondered a bit as you looked up at him, still patiently waiting for an answer as he gives you a comforting smile. perhaps kuroo stepped a bit out of line this time, and there’s no doubt he feels a bit bad about it. he was about to pull away and apologize but after your thoughts spiraled for a few seconds you gave in with a nod.

“fine,” you say, lifting yourself off the stool as kuroo steps away from you with a grin. you follow him around the counter, taking your walkman with you as you pass it.

you just hoped no one came by while you two were out. the last thing you wanted to do was get fired all because your annoyingly handsome coworker wanted to get a mid-afternoon beverage.

your shoes muffled gently against the store’s floor—tap, tap, tapping in some form of patterned unison as you and kuroo left the building.

the backroads of downtown were quiet. considerably so compared to the main streets as there was nothing but tweeting birds, whistling cicadas, and an occasional bicycler whizzing by. it was such a nice day, perhaps it wasn’t a bad idea to go out after all.

there was something incredibly calming about afternoon strolls down the street, feeling the rays of sunlight beaming down on your face as you further melted into an earth-smearing mood while you unpaused your walkman.

your headphones laid around your neck with the volume set on max this time just so kuroo could listen in. the corner of his lip quirked up a bit as you did so. it was like a nod of approval within a minuscule gesture. then again, you and kuroo always had a similar taste in music—messy and all over the place, but the classics are where you and he truly had the most in common.

the walk there was short and quiet. usually kuroo doesn’t mind being the one to strike up a conversation, but right now, it was as if he was trying to savor something at the moment that you couldn’t really pinpoint.

upon arriving at the rows of vending machines, kuroo slips in a few coins before pressing one of the buttons. he opted for a calpico, watching the can fall from behind the glass before bending down to pick it up. kuroo doesn’t even give you a look before he puts in the rest of your change, let alone ask what you wanted. the boy presses on the button right below a matcha drink—the exact one you were planning on getting.

he bends down when the drink dispenses and hands it to you on beat with the music emitting from your headphones.

“thank you,” you say, a bit dumbfounded as you opened up the can.

the slight confusion was evident on your face as kuroo couldn’t help but find your curiosity absolutely adorable. “i always see you with that drink whenever you come in for work,” he explains, chuckling as he takes a sip from his own. “assumed you liked it a lot.”

you couldn’t help but blush at his words, feeling your heartstrings suddenly tug at the thought that he knows you enough, let alone care to even remember such a minor detail. letting out a shaky breath that you hoped was drowned out by the music, you lamely attempted to hide the crimson red hues on your cheeks as you take a drink.

“i’m surprised you’d even remember something so insignificant about me,” you mutter as you two walk back to the store, yet this time your pace slowed along with his.

it seemed as if you weren’t the only one wanting to spend a little more time like this.

“i mean, it’s you.” kuroo replied, fingers nervously fiddling. “you are my favorite coworker after all.”

which wasn’t at all a lie. it was true. you were his favorite, but it was nothing more than a panicked and questionable explanation in the means of nonchalance. he couldn’t exactly expose himself out of the blue ever since you two talked about what you looked for in a partner. he recalled your words of wanting to find someone who cares about you and can remember every detail about you regardless of what it was. and much of his dismay of explaining his type to be the exact same of your own traits and characteristics, his sorry excuse of casually flirting completely flew over your head.

and if he’s coming to think of it now, all of kuroo’s sorry excuses of flirting probably went over your head. he mentally faced palmed himself. god, you probably thought he was the most irritating guy on the planet.

yet to his rapidly beating heart, you laughed, practically beaming at him. kuroo swears you could literally send him into cardiac arrest. “i’m your only coworker, idiot.” you tease before taking another sip.

he grins.

“gives me an even better reason to care then,” he hums, pulling the door to the store open just to be met with a thunderous shout.

you two were met with the owner of TRAX record store aka your boss. the short, pudgy old man with a receding hairline and a scowl on his face stood by the counter, arms crossed over each other like a disappointed parent.

“where have you two been?” he grunts, his familiar adenoidal and croaky voice ripping through your eardrums as you hurried to pause your walkman. “leaving the store unattended just to get drinks? you two are lucky i got here when i did because a customer just came by!”

your lips purse together nervously as the grip around your can tightened. kuroo notices your unease, giving you an apologetic look. he turns to face igarashi, your boss, “sorry sir, that’s my bad. i was the one who convinced (y/n) to come with me even after they said no.”

“oh really?” your boss tested. his hand came up to his chin to scratch the few strands of beard hair he even had. he scoffs, “of course it is.”

your neck swivels up towards kuroo as guilt melted into your bloodstream. knowing igarashi, he wasn’t the type to lay easy on simple mistakes. it was the only reason why you were glad he wasn’t here often in the first place knowing that he was like a ruthless hawk with eyes that followed you everywhere.

“it’s not entirely his fault, sir. i knew better but i still decided to go.” you muttered, refusing to look kuroo in the eye as he looks at you surprised.

igarashi lets out a huff as his eyes closed for a few seconds, “my therapist told me to take deep breaths whenever i feel as if i am about to lash out,” he explains before pulling himself together. he opens his eyes, tone much calmer now but the words were still like venom. “since you two were at least truthful about it, i will let it go this time, but know it won’t be the next time around. alright?”

you and kuroo nod, “yessir.”

“good. now, i want this place spotless by the time i come back.” with that your boss disappears into the back where he would be for the rest of the night–not helping at all. he stays in the backroom just to nap and to get away from his own unhappy marriage. you just hoped he stayed there until the end of your shift.

with your pulse calming, you took a sip of your matcha drink out of comfort, finishing all of its contents before throwing it into the trash bin. kuroo does the same thing, this time out of the fear of getting in trouble again as for the first time in a long time, you hear him ask you, “should we get to work then?”

you almost wanted to laugh. you were oddly giddy about working alongside him rather than vexed, nodding in response. both of you grab one of the grates of newly shipped records from behind the counter, ready to be put on display as you and kuroo worked down the same aisle.

with your walkman still on hand and your headphones wrapped around your head, you decided to play the cassette tape again just to ease the underlying awkwardness that was still in the air.

when you paused your walkman earlier, it stopped near the beginning of good old fashioned lover boy by queen. and the moment freddie mercury starts vocalizing, you could practically feel the ice around the two of you melt, heads bobbing to the beat as you two worked your way down the jazz aisle.

it went like this for the next hour. songs ranging from artist to artist, humming lightly to the beat of every drum. usually, kuroo wouldn’t last two minutes without complaining about doing work, but for once he didn’t mind knowing that you’re right next to him, mumbling the lyrics together in incoherent unison. if he knew working with you was going to be like this, he wouldn’t have been such a slacker after all. you could honestly say the same thing.

the cassette tape pulls to a stop, reaching the end of its duration as you and kuroo reach the bottom of the crate of vinyl records. as you reach inside to take out the last few albums, a gasp escapes you as your eyes fall onto one of the records. it was one that you have been dying to get for years now.

you put your walkman and headphone set down, grabbing the album.

“no way,” you grinned, capturing kuroo’s attention as he looks over at you curiously. “look, look!”

“tears for fears?” he says as a small switch flickers in his brain. “isn’t that your favorite 80s album?”

you nod, happy to think he even remembered that about you as you rush over to the cash register. you buy the album without a moment of hesitation, already freeing it from its plastic wrap as you reach kuroo again. you open the cover, beaming at its beautiful design. you couldn’t wait until you got home to listen to it.

at the end of every other row, there was a record player display that customers were able to use. taking out the delicate vinyl, you carefully placed it on the player’s mat with delicate fingers. you pick up the needle, hovering it over the edge of the record before placing it down gently.

on either side of the record player, there were hooks to hold headphones. each of which was connected to the machine as you quickly pull kuroo over. taking the headsets from the hooks, you put one of the pairs on before placing the other over kuroo’s ears, tiptoeing just to reach his height. almost immediately one of the most iconic songs of the decade stream into his ears. it was everybody wants to rule the world—one of your favorite songs.

you two stood there in silence, listening to the song’s nostalgic beats as your bodies faced each other. while you were looking over at the spinning black vinyl, kuroo eyes fell on you.

there was absolutely nothing in his wake to be able to take his admiration away as this, this beaming expression on your face had something special about it. it was as if his entire world was right in front of him, just an arms reach away.

his heart couldn’t slow for a minute as he could practically hear it over the music playing in his headphones. his breath gave way then, at the moment you turned to look back up at him with glowing eyes as if you struck gold. you consider yourself lucky being able to get your hands on such a rare vinyl, but kuroo considered himself the winner as he had you.

“do you like this song?” you asked him curiously, ignoring the way your heart started beating rapidly from the way he was looking at you with such care and admiration.

you were so close, you were literally right there. all of kuroo’s emotions that battered onto him like a cumbersome downpour can be relieved if he were to just say the words. a simple phrase, three short words, and a heavy heart beat. ready to leave his tongue and all would be done.

come on, just say it!

“I like you,” he says out of the blue, but his voice was a bit muffled due to the headphones.

your eyebrows furrow slightly, mouth suddenly running dry as your eyes widen.

did he just say what you think he just said?

you are not entirely sure what he said considering his words were partially drowned out by the music. you wanted to think that he did say the words of the impossible, but you couldn’t be so sure of yourself.

“sorry, what did you say?”

kuroo’s hands wrap around your headset, pulling them off of your ears and placing them around your neck. “i said i like you and i wanted to know if you wanted to go out sometime!” he says ratherly loudly. his headphones were still on him blasting tears for fears.

you couldn’t help but laugh, the back of your hand coming up to cover your reddening cheeks. warmth surrounded your heart, like a hug that squeezed at your chest in the most comforting way possible. you raise your hands up, cupping around the shell of his headphones as you pull them off of kuroo.

“you’re so loud,” you mutter.

as if fate decided to push you into the unknown with a strange burst of confidence within you, you got up on your tiptoes and leaned it. pressing your lips against his, soft and light, your skin ignited ablaze.

in a mere moment of serendipity just to test out the waters, you were pulled in deeper, mind blurring in satisfaction. yet it was nothing more than temporary as the sound of infamous footsteps gradually got louder and louder. panicked, you pull away quickly just seconds before igarashi emerges from the aisles, staring bullet holes into you and kuroo.

“i suppose you two are working?”

you nod, pulling your wrists out of kuroo’s grasp.

kuroo quickly answers, “we are, don’t worry.”

your boss lets out a suspicious hum as he gives you two one last look. he turns back around again, disappearing into the back.

a sigh of relief leaves you as you turn back towards the boy in front of you. he still waited for an answer, almost desperate to know as his eyes searched for an answer.

grinning, you pause the record player and kuroo watches it spin to a slow stop. “you’re an idiot,” you say with a laugh.

kuroo doesn’t seem to care at that moment, if anything he was just glad there were no one else was around. his hands wrap around yours again, “well, is that a yes or a no?”

“so that kiss wasn’t obvious enough for you?”

liking someone you found annoying was impossible, but liking your annoying coworker? now, that was a different story.

general taglist: @yongboxerrr @rosepetalhaven @tvwhoresblog @tanakaslastbraincell @kellesvt @kitsunetea @milktyama @anejuuuuoy

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #kuroo x reader #kuroo imagines #kuroo scenarios #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsurou #haikyuu kuroo #hq kuroo

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katatonicimpression · 3 years ago

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Iceman!

do I like them:

Yes! Look, I know he's an annoying dork but have you considered that I too am annoying and I too am a dork?

5 good qualities:

He's smart. Smarter than people assume because he's always saying the dumbest things

He's kind.

He's creative, he makes sculptures and they're really good. He's an artist.

Connected to the previous one but he is just absurdly talented with his powers.

He's brave. Granted he is nearly impossible to kill so he doesn't risk a lot that often, but he's courageous as hell.

3 bad qualities:

His jokes suck and his fashion sense is terrible.

He shoots himself in the foot a whole bunch.

He's presumably a not great boyfriend...? Like, all his relationships fall apart and its not just the straight ones. Also he's lonely, almost always single and he HATES it. So what's going on there? By all accounts, he's a catch: he's nice, got broad interests, he's got money and he's hot - it's very clear that in universe he's supposed to be very attractive. So what gives? I think he's maybe just not all that much fun to be in a relationship with, probably because he's rarely that genuine with anybody.

favourite episode/etc:

I really love his storyline in the 90s with Emma taking over his body and the fall out from that. It's the one with the very blatant subtext that falls just short of saying he's gay because they weren't allowed at the time. Also it dives into his relationship with his dad which I find genuinely really upsetting. I also genuinely loved his 2017 and 2018 solo series.

otp:

Pyro (St. John Allerdyce). I can't help it I'm sorry.

brotp:

I like the Amazing Friends (Firestar & Spiderman), and his friendships with the O5, Kitty and Rogue. I also really like him with Bishop and I wished we'd got more of that in Marauders (although that one could easily not be platonic.. that said I feel like he's a bit too nerdy to be Bishop's type, but then again he's probably chaotic enough... who knows?).

ot3:

I actually did write him, St. John and Shinobi as having had a (non-explicit) threesome for some unknown reason...? It made sense at the time, and Bobby and Shinobi still had their situationships with Christian going on in that fic. Just one big poly disaster.

notp:

I don't think I gave any big "no way not ever" ships for Bobby, aside from not liking the straight ones for obvious reasons. I will say I'm not on board with him and deadpool..? I also don't really care about Christian as yet.

You think you've got problems. My fave's canon boyfriend is a bit boring. Think about that.

best quote:

So he's got a bunch of one-liners obviously. I googled iceman quotes and found this on the list:

"I am pulling the most totally bizarre vibes off the others."

Idk made me laugh. Why does he talk like this?

I liked his speech to thor here:

And is "Maybe I am a loser?" moment is iconic. Also when x-corps is happening like half his dialogue is just him calling Sean a nazi which is honestly pretty funny.

head canon:

I think he's not particularly religious in terms of his actual beliefs and associates conversation about religion with his very conservative parents (his dad is Catholic and his mum is Jewish) so prefers to avoid the discussion. That said, I think he's really into family traditions and that sort of thing. He still does all the holidays with enthusiasm... probably too much enthusiasm

He has being paying very little attention to any of the big events on krakoa (ToM, Inferno). Like, he's a few days out of the loop on events and isn't entirely sure what's going on but assumes they'll sort it out. I think he likes a lot of things about the island and the people there, but I don't think he's bought into it really. It's just another wacky stage of his life for him

He's often genuinely surprised by how alive his ice golems are and is secretly a bit freaked out by it

Despite being a teenager in the 60s, Bobby is clearly still under 35. With that in mind, I headcanon his music tastes as being very 80s and early 90s. There's a lot of synth pop in there, and I feel like he got really into Alanis Morissette.

#asks

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 3 years ago

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Michael in the Mainstream: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies

So a long time ago, I posted a review on here about some episodes of Teen Titans Go that I’d watched, and my opinion was so overwhelmingly negative, a fan angrily messaged me and told me to “tag my hate.” The show was a popular whipping post and I was just a voice in the crowd, honestly. But over time, I’ve kind of mellowed out on it. Sure, the show’s not at all what I want, and it started this awful trend of rebooting old shows in a chibi art style and turning them into irreverent wacky comedies, and it has some crappy episodes here and there, but the original voice cast is clearly having a blast, there are some cool episodes where they do interesting things with the comedy like have a kickass 80s animation homage or have Weird Al play Darkseid, and overall the show is pretty harmless. It’s not really worth getting too up in arms over, y’know?

All that being said, when I first saw the movie in theaters, I was a bit apprehensive, but I wanted to give it a fair shot and talk about it here on my blog… and then I forgot to. Well, 2022 is a year all about forgiveness for me, and so there’s no better time for a review where I forgive something I didn’t like, so here goes: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies is a genuinely hilarious meta comedy that takes the concepts of its main series and makes them work (for the most part).

Like, sure, there are some things I found annoying. Beast Boy is a bit too “pretty fly for a white (green?) guy” for my taste, and Starfire excessively referring to things as “The X” (as in, The Robin, The Batman, The Superman, etc) is incredibly annoying when it comes to verbal tics, meaning that whenever these two were talking there was a nonzero chance I wish they’d shut up. And yes, there is some really stupid, juvenile humor here too. We’ve got a prolonged fart joke at the start and a twerking naked baby Superman butt, the brows ain’t very high here. But my gripes with this film pretty much end there.

Here’s the thing with these characters: Even though they are annoying here, everyone around them finds them annoying to. The other superheroes don’t respect the Titans, and Ronin is constantly vexed in his quest to get a movie deal by his friend’s wacky antics. It makes their annoying moments a bit more palatable, because in-universe they’re supposed to be obnoxious. All of this adds into the whole amusing meta commentary angle the film goes for, where they lampoon superhero cinema, with the main goal of the proceedings being Robin wanting a film deal like all the big superheroes. This leads to all sorts of fun stuff, such as a jab at the infamous “Martha” scene, a background joke mocking the CGI hair removal of Josstice League, and… a Stan Lee cameo?

For the most part the humor actually does work, even some of the more juvenile stuff. I feel like it works at its best when it’s being ridiculously dark, such as in the montage sequence where they travel through time for the second time. The humor with the songs is also pretty fun, like Robin’s “I Want” song where he sings about his desire for a movie (and also for his ass to be in 3D) and the upbeat inspirational song about life played during the road trip called… “Upbeat Inspirational Song About Life.” That last one is doubly funny because it has Michael Bolton as a magical tiger singing it, because as The Lonely Island proved, there is literally nothing funnier than Michael Bolton hamming it up in a song.

I don’t know, everything just works here in a way it usually doesn’t for the show in my opinion. It was definitely smart to save Slade for this instead of wasting him in a TV special, it was definitely good to have pretty much everyone be the straight men t the Titan’s antics, it was good to go with amusing self-deprecation instead of just making fun of people who don’t like the show… This is just a really fun, funny movie. Yes, it’s still clearly for kids, there’s still toilet humor and butts and whatever, but I think there’s plenty of humor that even adults can vibe with here. It’s just a goofy superhero movie spoof with silly characters and fun songs, and I think the world could use more of that now and then. I’d say even if you don’t like the show, this might be worth checking out so long as you go in with an open mind and a desire to have fun. Because boy, is this movie fun if you let it be, and honestly? It might be one of the best theatrical DC movies of them all.

Really didn’t need to see baby Kal-El’s ass, though.

#Michael in the Mainstream #review #movie review #Teen Titans Go! To the Movies #Teen Titans Go #TTG #animated movie #superhero movie #DC

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lnane · 4 years ago

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I’m gonna be super annoying and ask for the questions in increments of 5 (as in 5,10,15,20 etc) haha please don’t hate me

youre not annoying! i like doing this. i could never hate you, youre too cool <3

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“yes”

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

i dont think ive ever actually played the air guitar. i dont play air instruments, like at all. at most i drum on things

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

honestly it doesnt really matter much. on one hand i like attention, and performing and such. but on the other i also like taking photos of people and things, and being helpful and stuff.

for the sake of the question id say in front

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

my greatest weakness is probably my instinct to isolate myself from everyone else and refusal to depend on others for help. i always want to be indepentant and i dont know how to ask for help, let alone how to not feel like a bother while doing so. so i often end up just sitting alone not certain what to do.

my greatest strenght is probably that im very funny and sexy as fuck and that i try to treat people with kindness no matter where i go B)

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

talking on the phone, easily. both tire me but video chatting can be extremely exhausting. idk why theres a difference. either way after i always end up zoning out and not being able to pay much attention or distracted and just being silent in general after a while, especially if theres several people on call.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

wall.

air or bed

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

have fun. do anything that makes you feel fullfilled and happy while causing as little harm to others. the goal of your life should be to, at the end of it, be able to look back and genuinely say “i lived a good life. i am happy with this”. regrets and pain will exist in it, but as long as it has been good for you, overall, you have suceeded.

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

i dont have a drivers license for a car, but ive had a license for mopeds and tractors since i was 15 (which is when you can get em here in sweden).

ive not really crashed (which is surprising considering how often i basically slept on the moped), but before i got my license and the first time i sat on a moped i drove into a ditch. ive also fallen over a couple times when trying to park.

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i have no idea. i think i would say that one time when i was like. 6? 7? something like that and fell from my bed when jumping around playing and hit my forehead on one of the pole things on the bedframe, which was square. still have a visible scar from it.

50: Do you believe in magic?

idk. i want to, but theres also nothing proving its real. im sorta agnostic about it. it can be real and ive just not seen it yet, or its not real. either way, im not gonna know for certain until i see it myself.

55: Love or lust?

i want love, but i think i lust more

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

oh yes. perfume bottles, pride flags, paint, books, a giftbag, letters, needles, paper, a big dragon eraser, probably way more but im not gonna search my entire room for it

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

oh geez i suck at and hate this kinda thing. im gonna skip this one :)

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

i dont think i am what i ideally want out of a friend, but i do think i am the kind of person that i could get along with and be friends with. we would never talk outside of like, physical meetings tho.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

4778

80: What size shoes do you wear?

42-43 depending on the shoe i think (keep in mind i am swedish we use a different system from yall americans and yall brits)

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

i am currently, as of im writing this question, listening to Alone by The Mowgli’s

by the time ive finished answering to all the questions im listening to Moscow by Autoheart (its such a good song i had to add it)

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

try to shoo them out probably. they gotta stink and i dont want their dirt in my room, its enough with mine and the dogs

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

ive answered this one already but ill answer it again! finland. wanna give archie a hug and maybe a kiss on the cheek if theyll let me

#long post #ask thingys answered #hehe this was fun

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malarkiness · 5 years ago

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I have Thoughts on Frozen 2 because of course I do. Spoilers galore under the cut.

Just to recap my feelings on the first movie: I loved Elsa, thought Hans was hilarious as a villain, liked most of the songs, and enjoyed the “true love” twist at the end.

Everything else? Pretty mediocre.

But I think Frozen 2 actually improved some things about the first movie in retrospect (while also being a good movie in its own right). Some things that I wanted but didn’t get from the first movie but got from the sequel were:

No villain. Well, there technically is a villain, but Elsa and Anna’s grandfather is long dead in this movie and not an active participant in the plot. Instead, the characters (primarily Anna) are working to fix the results of the villain’s betrayal of the Northuldra. The story’s more about characters working through circumstances rather than fighting bad guys, which I like.

Less Kristoff and more Anna and Elsa interaction. This movie felt a lot more like a story about sisters than the first one did because I actually got to see their relationship in action and their personalities play off one another.

I remember being annoyed at how the “Let It Go” scene in the first movie cut away from Elsa’s face to focus on the ice palace, but her big transformation scene in the sequel showcases her expressions.

Characters of color with actual names and lines and active roles in the story. That shouldn’t really be notable in 2019 (or back in 2013, even), but here we are.

Olaf was still annoying, but also funny.

More interesting/creative/colorful imagery as opposed to lots and lots of white snowscapes. There were a couple of sequences that looked like someone handed Jennifer Lee a stack of rainbow scratch pages and just told her to go nuts.

I think I liked the soundtrack more from this movie, too:

Elsa gets two Oscar-bait songs in this movie: “Into the Unknown” (which is genuinely fantastic and gives me the same “I could fight a whole mastodon right now” feeling that Idina Menzel’s songs usually do) and “Show Yourself,” which is framed as the successor to “Let It Go.” I actually found the second one’s melody a little lackluster compared to the first when I watched the movie, but it’s really grown on me after a couple of relistens. I like how it starts off very gently and quietly, and then works its way up to a powerful reprise of Iduna’s lullaby. And it’s a good answer song to both “Into the Unknown” and “Let It Go,” as well as the movie’s overall theme about uncertainty and finding your path. The thing is, the main reason I loved “Let It Go” so much was that– taken out of context– it’s very easy to read it as a metaphor for coming out (especially with the pop version’s alternate lyrics). And I realize that that was probably purposefully baity as hell, and I fell for it like a total clown, but whatever. Anyway, you can’t really decontextualize “Show Yourself” in that way quite as easily. That’s not bad, really. Just a little disappointing for me personally. Oh, and I really want a goth metal cover of “Into the Unknown.” Someone page Evanescence or Within Temptation.

“The Next Right Thing” is incredible and a very effective song about grief (The line ”How to rise from the floor when it’s not you I’m rising for” hit me like a train.). I like how muted it was, and how simple the lyrics were. Kristen Bell’s singing voice is usually sweet and upbeat and sincere, so hearing how raw and tired she sounded in this song really left an impression.

I really liked Iduna’s lullaby (because I love a good lullaby in any musical).

Olaf’s song felt kind of jarring for the point it was at in the movie, and it has this really dopey melody that I feel like was conceived and written in the span of like twenty minutes tops, but it’s still genuinely funny. I liked the how it fit into his whole little subplot about growing older (and the movie’s overall theme).

Kristoff’s song was... a Choice. I guess if you really wanted to put a 80s pop ballad music video in this movie as a gag, "Lost in the Woods” is fine. I actually really like the song on its own, but there was just no reason for it to be as long as it was in the movie, lmao. Like I get that you have a Jonathan Groff and you want to use him, but I got the joke after we hit the chorus the first time; you don’t have to stretch it out. Just cut the song short in the movie and put the full version on the OST.

And lastly, the character arcs and overall storyline were better this time around:

I liked the movie’s theme of feeling lost and having the courage to find your footing and also yourself. “Into the Unknown” is Elsa’s song, but the rest of the movie’s soundtrack advances the themes from it. Olaf’s song is about assuming he’ll understand everything when he’s older highlights the point that there is no fixed time in your life where everything is clear and easy and you stop having to grow as a person. Anna’s “The Next Right Thing” is about picking yourself up after a harsh blow and making yourself keep going, simplifying it to just taking one step at a time. Even Kristoff’s song builds on this theme since it’s about feeling completely lost without someone, so it still fits the broader concept of being uncertain. And “Show Yourself” is about finally finding your path and feeling certain in spite of your fear.

Elsa’s character arc has a much more satisfying resolution than the one she had in Frozen. In the first movie, she accidentally reveals her powers, runs away in shame and then finds that she actually likes herself when she’s on her own and isn’t forced to hide who/what she is, is eventually brought back home against her will, and... that’s where she stays at the end of the story. In this one, she starts off safe at home, does the standard Hero Rejects the (Literal) Call to Adventure thing before finally deciding to follow it, ultimately finds the source of The Call, comes into her own, and stays with the Northuldra at the end to live out her life as the Avatar one half of the “fifth spirit” that connects humans to the elemental spirits. She still has Anna, understands who she is, and gets to stay where she’s happy and where she feels like she belongs. I kind of wish she’d just let Arendelle get destroyed, though. Not like anyone was home anyway. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I liked Anna a lot more in the sequel. I didn’t really care for her or Kristoff in the first movie (or their relationship because it was basically just a watered-down version of Rapunzel and Eugene’s), but I think it helped that she spent most of her screentime in this movie either with Elsa, Olaf, or alone. I like that she’s not clingy exactly, but she’s clearly very anxious about Elsa’s safety at all times. She follows Elsa everywhere, asks if she’s okay like a dozen different times, and only leaves her side when Elsa physically forces her to. I liked seeing how desperate she was to keep Elsa with her after being pushed away from her for so long. I liked watching her pick herself back up after she thought she’d lost her sister for good, and I loved how willing she was to destroy her own home to make things right with the Northuldra and the forest. Anna was very flawed and admirable in this movie, and just an all-around great character. And I definitely think she’s better suited as queen than Elsa. I wish we’d gotten a scene showing Elsa telling Anna that she was going to stay in the forest. It would’ve capped both their storylines a bit better to show both of them accepting this major change to their lives and their dual roles in their world. It seems like such a natural and obvious conclusion that I’m almost convinced that a scene depicting that very thing exists and was just cut for time.

I liked the snowman’s character arc, lmao. It was a nice microcosm of the movie’s themes, and the post-credits scene was a good way to end it.

I liked Mattias. He introduces the concept of doing “the next right thing” whenever you’re at a loss of how to proceed with your life. He’s also surprisingly willing to destroy Arendelle after Anna tells him why that needs to happen. I would’ve liked more dialogue there, or to see him struggle with the decision a little, but I guess there was just no time for it.

Aside from Iduna, the Northuldra characters weren’t in the movie quite as much as I think they should’ve been. There’s the tribe’s leader, who obviously has some (mutual) distrust of Mattias and what’s left of the Arendelle guard. There’s Honeymaren, who gives some useful exposition here and there, and she also gives you an idea of just how long the conflict between the Arendellians and the Northuldra has lasted since she’s lived her whole life without seeing the sky because of it. And then there’s Ryder, who... is basically Kristoff personality-wise, lmfao. Because we really needed two of him. I think you could’ve collapsed him and Honeymaren into one character without really losing anything crucial to the plot. But anyway, maybe they all could’ve played a part in guiding the rockbiters Earth Spirits to destroy the dam the way the Arendelle guard did. I get that that was meant to be a moment of reckoning for the Arendellian characters, but the Northuldra (and not just Anna) had a right to play a part in that, too. If nothing else, it would’ve been good to see the tribe’s leader watch the dam fall since she was alive to see it built in the first place.

As for Iduna... She’s an actual character in this movie. We learn that she’s part of the Northuldra tribe and that she apparently hid her identity from her husband all her life, I guess out of fear that he may harbor the same distrust of magic as his father (and given how he tried– however well-intentionally– to suppress Elsa’s magic after she accidentally hurt Anna, Iduna probably wasn’t wrong for that). At the same time, though, it makes you wonder why she never told Elsa about her heritage or the spirits while she was alive. She knew that humans and magic could coexist harmoniously; did she really keep that a secret just so her husband wouldn’t know who she was? Did King Husband just not suspect anything when his first kid was born a waterbender? I mean, I know the real reason for all this is that the writers just hadn’t thought this backstory up yet when the first movie came out, lol, but still. It throws the king and queen’s actions in the first movie in a more interesting context, but not one that really makes sense... I dunno, I guess it needed some more fine-tuning. A little more insight into Iduna’s rationale during Elsa’s childhood would’ve helped.

So to sum up: it’s not perfect, but I definitely think it was better written than the original (which I realize isn’t saying much, lol, but still). It does everything a sequel is supposed to do: it expands on the world the story takes place in, gives more depth to the characters (not just in giving them more backstory, but also in giving them new challenges to grow from), and tells a story that’s actually new. There are obviously things I think could’ve been done better, but it’s mostly stuff that would just improve something that already has a pretty good foundation (as opposed to the first movie, which almost needed to be completely reworked from the ground up).

I liked the unified theming and how clearly it’s shown through the songs, the two leads’ character arcs, the OST, the visuals. I do wish it had followed through with some of the stakes it presented (like actually destroying Arendelle and just... letting Olaf stay dead lmfao), and that it’d developed a couple of the Northuldra characters a bit more, but yeah, overall? Not bad. Definitely an improvement from the original if nothing else.

#sometimes i watch things #will tag later #i haven't had time to gage how scary the fandom is these days lmao so i'm staying out of the main tag for now #frozen 2

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ingloriousbi · 5 years ago

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Long, drawn-out 80-hour experiences aren’t always a good thing. They can be incredibly frustrating.

Side quests become tedious, with no real rewards. They become fetch quests or grind quests or inconsequential rp quests. 100% requires all these little collectibles – like the ac feathers or solas’ orbs or what have you. Travel between locations can be difficult or stunted, and gameplay can become tedious – the fighting takes too long, or the cutscenes take too long, or the dialogue is unending. I usually find myself skipping through long dialogue when I can read the text, I don’t usually read everything on terminals, and I usually only ever 100% things out of compulsion.

For reference: my first dark souls 3 playthrough was 50 hours, but my second was less than 20. Even going by just the second play through I would consider dark souls 3 worth 60 bucks.

Because it isn’t *just* about hours. An 80 hour, long-ass drawn out low quality shit show isn’t better than a high-quality, well polished 20 hour game. But those 20 hours need to be *polished* and they need to serve the game. In a game like dark souls 3, that meant the atmosphere, combat, boss fights and environment needed to be polished and interesting. And they were! The atmosphere was amazing, there was good enemy variety, the boss fights were awesome, the lore was interesting enough to keep me on my toes, and the combat system had good depth to it.

But RPGs need roleplaying elements. Shooters need engaging gameplay. For 60 bucks, the outer worlds should have offered more time with its existing system or greatly enhance it.

The armor and weapons easily capped their max armor/damage, and with the tinkering ability and unending trash a-la fallout, I had a better weapon than any drop or quest item ever gave me. Instead, the constant armor and weapon drops exclusively became a means to money, and this translates into insane inventory management, because of course it does. I can’t speak too much to weapon/attack variety, because once I’ve got a gun I like I usually do a full playthrough with it (although the distinct lack of snipers annoyed me, especially for places like roseway and tartarus), but armor variety was shit. Armor offered little balance, bad mods, shitty stats, and all looked ugly as hell. I never used any medical items except for the standard heal, and never felt the need to (I was playing on regular difficulty). The difficulty curve was really weird; I struggled the first hour or so and soon after I was completely overpowered; but manti-queens were still always a tedious, semi-difficult bore, even when I one-shotted everything else.

The roleplaying elements started off really strong. Back in Edgewater, way at the start, someone even commented on my wearing marauder armor – which just happened to be the first thing I looted from some enemy. There was a lot of humor to balance how genuinely overwhelmed I felt with this new world (in a good way) that slowly gave way to more serious narrative, while never taking away your options for fun. As I found my bearings in the world, the narrative offered good themes and such (obviously; fuck capitalism!) but also had a good balance of “large save the colony!” vs “Im just a dude in space” and you can roleplay for either or in the middle of those two. There was never really a moment I felt it was weird that I was putting the main quest on “hold” to do side quests (with the exception of the fucking tailoring quest line which was really jarring lmao).

Questlines typically offered a healthy balance of options; it really allowed for different outcomes, different character motivations, etc. I didn’t feel shoe-horned into certain dialogue options in order to complete quests the way I wanted to complete them. There was nuance to your choices/dialogue options with characters and in questlines. Persuade, lie, or intimidate weren’t always a different button to the same outcome; oftentimes they actually led to different things happening in the quest. There were also different ways to complete your goals in-game, with different kinds of stealth, to murder or not to murder, talk your way through, guns-blazing, etc. Usually quests gave options I wasn’t really expecting and had a pretty good amount of interactivity between them (think the strike quest on Monarch, or the Sublight quests on Monarch). The only time I felt really shoe-horned was at the end of Lily Hagen’s questline and during the ending quest. Lily Hagen’s last quest is also the only time I felt like I got a significant choice where the consequences didn’t actually matter, which was really frustrating considering the ending of the fucking game.

The way skill points allowed for both in and out of dialogue improvements was really cool (e.g. persuasion isn’t just new dialogue options but affects enemy’s statuses, etc) and the combination of skills required during roleplay elements (i.e. you need persuasion AND science points to convince a scientist of X) felt really strong and did really well for my immersion. In the last mission this all went to shit though.

I liked a lot of the individual characters (I fucking love Phineas and ADA, Zora and Sanjar and even the Van Noys were really fun, a lot of characters were really sympathetic like Reed and Graham) and most of the companions have interesting enough personalities, but there’s a definite problem with the crew members and their implementation.

There was a huge difference in character quality between them; Felix has significantly less character depth to him than any of the other companions, even though his questline felt like it should have had a significantly larger impact on a person. Ellie and Nyoka are super interesting characters, but neither really allow for significant character growth after their respective missions or during companion dialogue.

Parvati and Max have significantly more depth than anyone else on the ship, and these are characters with the most growth and arguably most impactful side quests (measured by impact on the characters). They also have way more, and more in depth, companion dialogue. And still I’d argue the growth is too little. You run out of dialogue with your companions super quickly and they rarely have anything to say about your choices or whatever. Only Ellie really spoke up about some stuff I did/had questions for me about Phineas and even then it didn’t actually matter. Ellie’s lack of character growth was probably the most jarring, because she actively starts conversations that would/should lead to it but she remains unchanged until the epilogue informs you You Did Change Her Mind After All. Felix’s lack of anything was really disappointing especially since I didn’t really care for him, but he was really sympathetic to the captain and to the unification of the crew, especially near the end (his joining the crew was also the most random). I loved Nyoka but her alcoholism is a little much and casually overplayed for no reason, and it actively inhibits what could/should have been character development after her mission. I actually kind of feel like non-companion NPCS like Catherine Malin or Zora had more character development and relationship development with the captain than some of my companions. Parvati got the most personal and had the most growth, but it was *all* in relation to her dating life lmao.

This lack of depth or use for the companions is really bad when you think about the way they are positioned in relation to the factions and again, this is made worse during the last mission. I was kind of happy there were no romances when that was announced, because I thought it would allow for more independent character growth instead of development based on whether or not you’re fucking the player character, but what it really lead to was static characters and static interaction with them. The interactions between them are fun at the start but there aren’t many of them and they quickly end up repeating themselves. I wasn’t expecting fucking Mass effect or Dragon age companions, but I was expecting better than the fallout 4 fare.

The gameplay, skill division and choices/quest options really allow for interesting replayability for both different options/character motivations within an ending but even more so when you consider the fully pro-board playthrough (idk if I could stomach it though). But even with another playthrough I’d be looking at just 40 hours of gameplay (if I 100% it again, and I could probably do it in less than 20 now that I know where/what/how and how useless most loot is) and the companions would remain disappointing.

And the ending just throws it all in my face, especially the skill/stat division is just… terrible. I was level 30 and all side quests were done; I couldn’t milk more levels/exp if I WANTED to, and it was still bad. But I did get to walk back to my ship, re-spec my stats, and then walk all the way back to the end of the mission I’d already played which was super fucking funny.

It was a good game, and most of the game was genuinely good, but the things that let me down were the things that I really wanted, or are really impactful (IT’S A SHOOTER RPG, WHY DOES YOUR COMBAT SUCK). And it was so short. It was a eally well polished, quality experience, and I wouldn’t have liked to see it stretched out to 50 hours because it would have ultimately done it a disservice (and the story WAS genuinely really good and well-done, the world was well-crafted, and I would have hated to see it drone on and one when it’s better than that) , but I WOULD have liked to see an hour or two extra per companion and a price reduction to 40 bucks at launch.

Theme: 10/10 Narrative: 10/10 Atmosphere: 10/10 Environments: 9/10 Shooter-gameplay: 5/10 Character creation: 7/10 (shitty physical creator 3/10, very good stat creator 8/10) RPG Dialogue/Quest Gameplay: 8/10 Companions: 4/10 Inventory management: 1/10

#personal #look im not a reviewer #this isnt meant to be a review for other people abt outer worlds #but i was frustrated with the ending #but also frustrated with myself because i did LOVE this game for the first 19 hours #so i wanted to write it all down for myself #to make sense of my thoughts #and get on paper my frustrations #but also remind myself about all the good shit i enjoyed for the 19 out of the 20 hours I played this game #no overt spoilers

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coolgreatwebsite · 6 years ago

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Cool Games I Finished In 2018 (In No Real Order)

Man! Wow! 2018! 2018 was a wild year for me. I managed to deliver those elbow drops I talked about last year and ended up doing a lot of of things. I left my job and moved cross-country in the span of like 2 and a half weeks! I took a new job in the video game industry (play Ninjin and Override)! I took a trip to Vegas a week after that! I got in a relationship! I got out of a relationship! It’s been a ride. A ride that hasn’t left me a ton of time to play video games or write about video games, but I’m like 1000 times happier now so it’s probably a fair trade. No matter what though, I will always be here at the end of the year to make a bunch of terrible MSPaint banners and provide you with another one of these. Here’s a bunch of cool games I experienced for the first time in 2018.

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (PlayStation 2, 2004)

Nocturne is a game that I haven’t been able to get out of my head since I beat it. It’s so damn cool. It starts with you witnessing a demonic apocalypse where only you, your two friends, your teacher, a reporter, and the man with the world’s wildest widow’s peak survive. These people are, with a couple of notable exceptions, the only real characters in the entire game. You barely see them, and when you do your meetings are usually pretty brief. Sure, you talk to and recruit a horde of demons to your side as party members, and you interact with a handful of demonic antagonists and various demonic NPCs, but for the most part the game is just you. You, alone, wandering the weird hellscape remnants of Tokyo. It’s one of the most solitary-feeling video games I’ve ever played, and it nails this atmosphere flawlessly. The music, the visuals, the writing, every element gels with every other element so smoothly to create a prevailing, almost overbearing feeling of loneliness. The combat and gameplay mechanics are what I understand this series to mostly be like (this being the only mainline SMT I’ve played), and are fun and engaging in a way that’s not too dissimilar from the Persona series. The only knock I have against Nocturne is that the dungeon design super sucks. I’m fine with endless corridors, my love of the PS2 Persona games can attest to that, but almost every dungeon in Nocturne has an annoying gimmick to it, and they all essentially boil down to different takes on a teleporter maze. I was kind of almost dreading navigating dungeons by the time I got to the last fourth of the game, but my intense love for literally everything else saw me through. For those of you who like JRPGs and haven’t played Nocturne, I’m sure you’ve heard this plenty of times, and I was like you once. I didn’t listen. But now I’m on the other side of the tunnel, so I get to say it. You should really, really play Nocturne. It’s good.

Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion (Nintendo Switch, 2018)

Octo Expansion is what Splatoon 2′s single player mode should have been from the start. Don’t get me wrong, the packed in single player campaign is fine, but it’s basically a level pack for Splatoon 1′s. Octo Expansion, on the other hand, is 100% fresh. Structurally it’s much more diverse, with the campaign taking place over 80 mostly-bite-sized missions with varying objectives. There’s a couple of stinkers in there, but overall the quality of the missions is much higher than what was in the original single player campaign. They can actually be pretty tough sometimes too! It was fun to see some actual challenge in a Splatoon campaign. Everything wrapped around the core gameplay of Octo Expansion is kind of phenomenal. The setting and visual design is super weird, the music is way more mellow than anything else that’s come out of the series and creates a great sense of atmosphere, and the writing is actually genuinely pretty great. There’s a lot of funny dialogue and good character moments. They made me like Pearl! The weird gremlin that eats mayo! She’s my friend now! The last half an hour or so of Octo Expansion is also straight up my favorite sequence from a game I played this year too. Don’t sleep on this thing just because it’s DLC. It’s legitimately great.

Monster Hunter: World (PlayStation 4, 2018)

At the outset I was incredibly skeptical of Monster Hunter: World. This wasn’t entirely fair to the game, as a lot of this feeling was based on its initial E3 reveal trailer kinda sorta matching up to some mostly not true pre-E3 leaks, namely that it would be much more action heavy to cater to Western audiences and tie into the then unannounced Monster Hunter movie (which, as an aside, looks like a trainwreck that I desperately want to see). You can probably pretty easily find some tweets and posts from me around that time saying that the game looks like trash because of some misinterpreted new game mechanic. I am here to say that I am a big wrong dumbass and Monster Hunter: World is very good. You might be surprised to hear this, but it’s Monster Hunter! With a bunch of good and well-executed gameplay refinements! And graphics that aren’t repurposed from a PS2 game! It’s a ton of fun and I put a lot of time into it, but it’s not without its flaws. The number of monsters and weapons is comparatively way lower than in previous games, mostly due to that whole not repurposing PS2 models thing. It’s still kind of clunky in a lot of the places Monster Hunter has been historically clunky in, but also in some pretty big new ways, mainly around playing multiplayer. Also the story, while it’s as bland as it’s ever been, is exponentially more intrusive thanks to the addition of voiced cutscenes (which need to be triggered before the game lets you bring other players into story missions, causing a lot of that clunk I mentioned earlier). It’s all nothing game-ruining, of course. The game wouldn’t be on the list if it was! Monster Hunter: World exceeded my expectations, and I’m super looking forward to playing the recently announced G Rank expansion when it comes out next year.

Contra: Hard Corps (Sega Genesis, 1994)

I wish I could go back in time and kick my own stupid ass for not playing this sooner. I’d written off Contra: Hard Corps for the longest time based solely on some bullshit I read on the internet at an age where I just took other peoples’ opinions and made them my own. This and Castlevania Bloodlines were the bad ones, the ones some weird b-team crapped out for the Genesis while the SNES got the good stuff like Contra 3: Alien Wars. Well, it turns out... they were right about Bloodlines. But MAN were they wrong about Hard Corps. Hard Corps is the best Contra game. It fucking rules. I would have gone on with my life never giving the game a glance if not for this excellent Giant Bomb feature happening, and a couple of episodes in I knew I had to play it for myself. Contra: Hard Corps is fucking nuts. It’s balls to the wall 100% of the time. There’s so many unique enemies and wild bosses and they’re all never not exploding. The game has four characters with unique weapons and multiple different level paths that have totally different levels, bosses, and story beats. Oh, and the soundtrack fucking rips. Sometimes it’s a little too much, and there are definitely some sequences and boss attacks that are total gotchas that you can’t survive without prior knowledge of how they work. I’d also be remiss not to give a special shoutout to level 4′s awful, tedious, unskippable-on-any-route boss. But god damn if the rest of Hard Corps doesn’t outshine these flaws. It’s the high water mark for insane non-stop 16-bit action.

Deltarune (PC, 2018)

Does this count? It’s a demo for a full game that won’t be out for a real long time... I suppose it does, it’s self-contained enough. Deltarune, the free demo for the sort of but also sort of not sequel to Undertale, is unsurprisingly good as hell. Less surprising for sure, as Undertale is a known quantity these days, but I’m still way into it. The story is interesting and full of charming characters, and the battle system has been overhauled to include things like multiple party members with different abilities while still keeping all the things that made Undertale’s battles novel. The music is, of course, fantastic, and the visuals look much nicer while adhering to the same general style as the previous game. It’s fairly short, and some character development feels a little rushed because of it, but again, it’s a small chunk of the beginning of a much larger game. I can’t imagine any of this stuff wouldn’t be expanded upon. It’s hard to judge this thing story-wise due to the nature of it being a demo. I thoroughly enjoyed what is there, though, and look forward to playing the rest of the game in 50 years or whatever.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Nintendo Switch, 2018)

This game is so much. Even though the first thing I learned about this game was “everyone is here”, I still wasn’t ready for how much it is. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is maybe too much. Of course, as previously stated, everyone (meaning every single previous playable Smash Bros. character) is here. Most of the previous stages are also present. This was all known. Where the game really, truly goes overboard though is in the single-player content. There’s the usual classic mode for every character, this time specifically structured around a theme for each character, but the vast majority of it is actually comprised of the all-new spirits system. Spirits are non-playable video game characters that you can collect and equip to your fighters for special abilities, sort of like a less terrible version of Smash Bros. Brawl’s stickers. You collect these spirits through spirit battles, which are fights themed around the character the spirit represents via extremely clever usage of already existing fighters and mechanics. These battles range from the obvious (Big the Cat’s battle tasks you with fighting a giant purple Incineroar), to the obscure (fight the main characters from Zangeki no Reginleiv as represented by Link and female Robin while you’re giant-sized), to the creative (Porygon’s spirit puts you in a fight against wireframe Little Mac and Akira from Virtua Fighter, normally an assist trophy), to the downright in-jokey (the spirit of Ness’s Father, displayed as the telephone spirte from Earthbound, makes you fight an invisible Solid Snake). There are like 1200 spirits. The vast majority of them have an associated battle. And you don’t just experience these battles through a menu, at least half of them are implemented into the 30 hour long adventure mode, World of Light, which has you fighting spirits, navigating dungeons, and facing bosses. It’s insane. They focused on spirits in lieu of collectible trophies this time around and they absolutely made the correct choice. The trophies in the last two Super Smash Bros. games were fine, but easier access to existing 3D models of most represented characters made them inherently less exciting than Melee’s tailor-made collection of high quality (considering the time period) renders, many of which would never receive a 3D model again. The spirits system manages to be exciting in the same way Melee's trophies were, fostering a genuine sense of anticipation to see what they cooked up next, but in the context of gameplay. They completely knocked it out of the park. Smash 4 made it on one of these lists long ago, and I essentially just said “it’s more Smash Bros. and that’s good”. Smash Ultimate is also more Smash Bros., but it’s SO much more Smash Bros. It’s so much more extremely good Smash Bros. The only things I can ding it for are some totally subjective stage preferences (where the hell is Poké Floats) and some slightly less than optimal music sorting decisions. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is, ultimately, the ultimate Super Smash Bros.

These games were also cool, I just had less to say about them:

Bloodstained: Curse of the Moon (Nintendo Switch, 2018): Remember Castlevania 3? Inti Creates sure did! This prequel to the still unreleased Koji Igarashi Kickstarter project Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night is an unabashed love letter to Castlevania 3, and it’s pretty good. Mom Hid My Game! (Nintendo Switch, 2017): A charming little game in the style of those old escape the room Flash games. It even looks like one (in the literal sense, not the pejorative). It’s not tough or replayable really, but it is $5 and consistently absurd and surprising. Yakuza 6: The Song of Life (PlayStation 4, 2018): Yakuza 6 is kind of a weird juxtaposition. It’s the final chapter of Kazuma Kiryu’s story, but also the first game to use the Yakuza team’s new Dragon Engine. The story end of things is a good, solid sendoff for a bunch of characters I’m going to miss very dearly, but the gameplay feels very formative and limited in a way that sort of reminds me of Yakuza 1. I had a good time with it overall, but I hope they manage to dial it in like they did with the previous decade of Yakuza games and make something truly excellent again. Looking at you, Judge Eyes. Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth (Nintendo 3DS, 2017): Etrian Odyssey V is a return to basics for the series, ditching things like overworlds and sub-dungeons and just pitting your party against one big labyrinth. Honestly, gotta say, I miss the stuff they left behind! The core of Etrian Odyssey is still super strong so I had fun regardless, but the overall simplicity of the game and the changes to how classes work had me missing EOIV more often than not. Soundtrack’s great though, as expected. Sonic Mania Plus (Nintendo Switch, 2018): To be completely honest, most of the stuff they added to Sonic Mania in Plus really isn’t that fantastic. Mighty’s spike and projectile immunity is fun, but Ray’s flying is more interesting than effective. Encore mode is largely disappointing, with most of it feeling identical to the base game outside of its all-new (and too hard for their own good) special stages. HOWEVER, Sonic Mania Plus was an exceptional excuse to play through Sonic Mania another six or so times. Congratulations to Sonic Mania for being game of the year for two years in a row. WarioWare Gold (Nintendo 3DS, 2018): A good compilation game, executed much better than in the team’s previous Rhythm Heaven Megamix, but lacking in reasons to come back after you’ve played all the games. There’s the usual toy room stuff WarioWare has had since Touched!, but it’s bogged down by reliance on a currency system and the fact that sooooo many things you unlock are just parts that feed into a larger, not that interesting thing. The part where you play WarioWare is great though, and the new visuals make it all feel fresh even though it’s mostly older games. Mario Tennis Aces (Nintendo Switch, 2018): I had a brief, passionate love affair with Mario Tennis Aces. The core gameplay is rad as hell and more like a fighting game than a tennis game, with multiple different special shots and a focus on meter management. I played like 40+ hours of it between the full game and the demo and never even touched the single player (which makes it technically not count for this list, but, shut up). I got 2nd place at its very first tournament at CEO 2018. Then I... stopped playing. It had some weird balance issues, sure, but I think it was more a victim of circumstance rather than anything else. I moved basically right after CEO and just never went back to it. It’s still incredible though. I hope this game’s systems are the standard for Mario Tennis games going forward.

We made it! Bottom of the list! It was a shorter trip this time, but I’m still proud of you for making it here all the same. Thank you for reading the words I typed about video games. I’m looking to get this web page back into gear in 2019, so you can probably expect part 2 of The Best Babies sometime in January. Hopefully I’ll actually play some video games too so I can bring back Breviews on the first of February. Until then!

#article #year wrapup

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strangledeggs · 6 years ago

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The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Who’s comparing this to OK Computer? Who’s calling it “political”? If you want politics, Parquet Courts released a whole concept album about being “woke” earlier this year. No, this album is about one subject over all: Matt Healy. Everything else, all the quoted tweets, the internet “critique”, the so-called “politics” - it’s all just a backdrop, a stage on which Matt Healy can dramatically perform at his Healy-est for us, the audience/internet.

Needless to say, if the title didn’t give it away, there’s a lot of conceptual fuckery going on here. Or is there? Are we to believe that all the open-heartedness of the grandiose production is inviting us to believe that we’re getting some kind of confessional affair here, getting to hear the “real Matt Healy”?

The answer is obviously “no”, or he wouldn’t need all the conceptual smoke-and-mirrors. So that means this album is primarily a formal exercise, one in which Healy performs some version of what he thinks we want to think of him and hopes that we’ll focus on the performance rather than the man behind the curtain. The play’s the thing. It’s actually a bit reminiscent of David Foster Wallace’s unfinished posthumous novel, “The Pale King,” which I happen to have been in the midst of reading when I decided to take a break to give this album a first listen; both writers employ similar techniques of “decoy” autobiographical details, “false selves” displayed to psych the audience out by luring them into a false sense of familiarity with what they believe to be the artist. Very “meta”.

Except unlike Wallace, Healy has chosen to stage his play in a medium that people actually expect to be enjoyable - pop music, rather than a novel. So the question that’s on all our minds isn’t so much “How clever is it?” as it is “How does it sound?” And the answer to that question is no more easily determinate than the answer to the former.

For one thing, it’s a general truth that a strong singer is often what marks the dividing lines between the territories of “upstart punks” and full-on “pop music” for a band with the 1975’s ambition. But Healy’s not exactly a “strong” singer - he’s got two modes: breathy to the point of intangible, and belting it out in his best Bono impression (which, I’ll add, isn’t nearly as dynamic). He seems to catch on to this himself and piles on the vocal production, auto-tune, choral backups and everything to disguise his weakness.

Or is this part of the “meta-performance”, another “false self” by way of obscured vocals? This kind of thing was annoying enough in “The Pale King”, and it’s not necessarily alleviated by Healy’s tastes in production, which are...intriguing, to put it politely. For one thing, it sounds like he picked up the band from Chance The Rapper’s Donnie Trumpet sessions, particularly on the trumpet-heavy “Sincerity Is Scary”. Everything’s drenched in a sort of “lite”-sounding production, drawing from soft rock, the more bombastic end of new wave and ‘’’the 80s’’’ (as filtered through the 2010s’ increasingly warped understanding of what that means). This could bore quickly, slipping into “easy listening” or “muzak”, except for the fact that Healy’s written some really killer hooks in here; I wish Prince were alive to cover “It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)”, which has a Purple Rain-worthy riff, and “Love It If We Made It” makes a convincing bid for song-of-the-year with an excellent chorus interpretable from at least three different angles. “TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME” (yeah, I know) manages to make an impression over its artless dancehall-lite groove on its sheer playfulness.

But Healy doesn’t know where to stop, and the album is at least four songs longer than it needs to be. Paradoxically, as the production is stripped away on some of the (ugh) “ballads” and we hear more of the “real” Healy (“Healy Unplugged”), the hooks disappear and the music becomes forgettable; “Be My Mistake”, “Surrounded By Heads And Bodies” and “Mine” are all total wastes. On the other hand, the album’s weirdest experiment, a two-part electronic Burial/Radiohead-impersonation called “How To Draw / Petrichor”, is mostly memorable for its weirdness rather than for any substantial songcraft or sonic flourishes; it was probably Healy’s idea of something to “challenge” listeners, but it ends up more like a chance for them to space out.

Even if we forgive these mis-steps, not everything that works is as successful as the aforementioned earworms. The dramatic closer “I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)” (again - I know) veers a little too close to Coldplay for my comfort. Opener “Give Yourself A Try” has some obnoxiously inconsistent phrasing and a riff stolen note-for-note from Joy Division’s “Disorder”, which is again one of those things that’s almost clever, but more annoying the more you think about it. Not to mention cloying lyrics that cast Healy as a “man who’s been there and knows what’s up” in the most self-deprecating postmodern way he’ll later mock in the opening lines of “Sincerity Is Scary”.

About those lyrics: there are spots where they really shine. “Love It If We Made It”’s headline-pastiche is one obvious spot, even if it also comprises a vague nod toward “We Didn’t Start The Fire”. But “I Like America & America Likes Me” also has some of the most genuine-sounding lines on the album in its chorus, begging listeners to “please listen” and “believe in saying something”, even when it doesn’t know what exactly to say itself. Likewise, “It’s Not Living” is an honest account of addiction that manages to tie Healy’s romantic drama into it as well. “I Always Wanna Die Sometimes” has one of my favourite lines on the whole album: “Am I me through geography?”

But it also has the lines “You win you lose, you sing the blues”, and this reminds me of the fact that lines like the ones I was so impressed by comprise maybe only 30% of the album. The other 70% is partly smoke-and-mirrors, but largely worse: it’s just plain filler and cliche. So the real best line on the album goes to “I Couldn’t Be More In Love”, the best ballad on the whole thing, in which Healy temporarily transcends his vocal limitations to deliver an emotionally charged chorus: “What about THESE FEEEEEEEEELINGS I’ve got?” No, that’s not the best line; the best line is in the second verse, when Healy sings “I could’ve been a great line, I could’ve been a sign, / Overstayed my time, say what’s on your mind”, because I’ll be damned if that isn’t the whole album in a nutshell. Until he learns to edit down some of his pretentious impulses and filler-y dreck, I can’t see myself re-visiting this album in full anytime soon.

That being said, it’s the streaming age, albums have never meant less, and I’m not above distilling this unwieldy thing down to a fully-listenable playlist. So skip the intro, skip the ambient electronica, skip the ballads, and maybe leave in that joke-y Her/Radiohead parody in the middle if you still find it funny after a few plays and Give This Tracklist A Try:

1. Give Yourself A Try

2. TOOTIMETOOTIMETOOTIME

3. Love It If We Made It

4. Sincerity Is Scary

5. I Like America & America Likes Me

6. The Man Who Married A Robot / Love Theme

7. Inside Your Mind

8. It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You)

9. I Couldn’t Be More In Love

10. I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5hp63LWKr3Kfkdwvq9pCrw

#Music #Music Criticism #A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships #The 1975

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needlefac · 3 years ago

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I Travelled back to home Bolton this weekend (09.07.21) and its a big deal. I've been fully out as trans just less than one year. I have only seen my mother twice and my father once in that time. My uncle, cousin and her twin boy and girl are coming up from down south to see me too. I was nervous to say the least. This is just my diary of the weekend and I hope it resonates with some of you. Family can be difficult and I know my experience isn't unique but I feel like sharing this is necessary. I feel weird being in my old room. I was so sad here sometimes. I can see marks in the wall where I literally punched it. My mum has papered over it (no need to over egg the metaphor there) and she calls it the “guest room” now. I’m a guest in my own memory. Mum was digging out some old photos and I look miserable in most of them. Even at weddings, no especially at weddings. I mean, who’s the bitch in the frock getting all the glory! Oh yeah, it’s my sister. It wasn’t always bad here but I did have to run away to be who I am. I know that “small town boy” thing is a cliché but it’s totally true. Bolton is a dead town if your interests include techno, contemporary art and wearing latex. (Not necessarily in that order) It’s 01.45 am. The glow on the horizon from this window is Manchester. Only 15 miles away but a world of difference. I’ve only been back here 5 hours and I’m looking at that perceived emerald city like I used to. I’d tune into Kiss 102 and listen to the city until I was old enough to get there at night. The 0161 wasn’t always the answer but it allowed me to be Freda. When I got here today my dad was in bed. I took that a bit personally. He’s not seen me since Christmas, he could have stayed up a bit. I don’t know if he’s avoiding me or just tired. I’ll find out tomorrow, I suppose. My mum acts like everything is ok no matter what. There could be a hurricane coming at the house and she would just close the curtains and say “let’s deal with it later when we’ve all calmed down”. I wanted the hurricane so badly when I was young. I should stop over thinking this. I’ve had wine. I can’t sleep. I woke up early because my eyes were all crusty and itchy and my breathing was shallow. Then I realised the pillows my mum had put on the bed were feather and I'm slightly allergic. So that wasn't the best start but like everything about Bolton, I'm slightly allergic. My mums first concern of the day was picking up a bag of compost form the local hardware place, Maher's. In my mind I hear her say, 'I need some dirt from Mars'. Which causes the first laugh of the day. She needs me to do things like this for her because my dad can no longer drive due to a stroke he had 2 years ago. Anyroad, l wait outside Maher's for my mum and a burly lad in an England shirt brings out 3 bags of compost and says to me 'where do you want this, love?'. 'In my boot, love. Where all the shit goes', I say. When my mum comes back to the car l say 'oh he was cute', mainly to test her tolerance and also because I'm an idiot. Mum simply said 'football is going home'! So when we got back to the house my dad was up and shuffling around like he does. He's interested in the camera drone l bought. He wont say anything about me being trans or call me Freda. It doesn't even bother me. The fact he wants to learn to fly a remote control camera over next doors house is much more fun in that moment. He crashes it into the tree and he shouts 'mission abort mission abort'. Yeh, that's how l feel about coming to Bolton most of the time. My dad was in the RAF as an aerial photographer. I knew he would enjoy this but he was getting all too technical for a 80 quid plastic toy off amazon. I don't know what 'triangulation of trajectory' is. I always feel like Bobby Hill in these moments (my dad was actually a salesman for Calor Gas and sold propane and propane accessories for a while). Anyway, I think he appreciates that I found something to break the ice, even if he wont say she/her or call me Freda yet. I had to get out of the house before my cousin and her children turn up. She knows all about my transition and is very supportive but l haven't seen her for 5 years and it will be the first time I've met her twin boy and girl who are 7 years old now. The main reason for getting out was to explore Bolton town centre. Somewhere I've not been for quite some time. I went to one of my old haunts, The Olde Man and Scythe which is one of the oldest pubs in England, going back to the 13th century. They used to hang traitors outside here during the Civil War. So I decided to sit out side there reading Majesty Magazine sipping a gin and tonic in the Sun. Imagine living in a time when a culture war raged and people were divided along binary political lines and everyone was expected to take a side? Just imagine! I've never felt more fully actualised as a person as when a drunken fool approaches me and says 'oh you look nice, love. Can l steal a roly off you'. Yes, I'm truly validated as a woman now. This is it! No amount of psychological counselling can top this. As l lick the cigarette paper and make eye contact with this feckless tosspiece I'm reminded of how precarious my situation is if he clocks me. Is he going to read me? No he's too enthralled by my wide staring eyes, the silly sod. My next stop was the Bolton Museum and Art Gallery. There is an Egyptian room which l love. So, naturally took some photos to align myself with Queen Nefertiti and all my delusional fantasies of being some sort of mythical goddess. The thing that interests me most about this is the cotton industry connection. In my artwork and performance staging l take a lot of influence from the industrial revolution. The fact that Egyptian cotton was instrumental in that is something that creates a timeline we are all insignificant on. Its both cosmic and visceral, esoteric and factual. Seeing those cotton spinning machines alongside the astrological ambitions of ancient kings is so centring to me. An absolute connection of Heaven and Earth. From the universe of stars to the factory floor, Everything was built on immortality ambitions of industrialists and cotton in this town. I had to come down a bit from that museum experience. Whoever is curating that needs some sort of award. I had to get ready to meet my cousin, Sarah who is just one month older than me. We have lead parallel lives . Her Mother, my dad's sister moved away down south when she met her husband. They live in Wiltshire and she was educated in a way l wasn't. I've always had memorable moments with Sarah on the rare times we have spent together over the years. In some ways she was the girl l wanted to be when l was young. I was never jealous of her or held any bitterness but l remember wishing my parents would talk to me in the same way Sarah was. It just seemed to make more sense to me how her needs were met. It might be hindsight talking but I genuinely wished all the gifts for Sarah were the gifts for me. I was getting ready in my old bedroom and just trying to make myself look normal. Not some over done drag race also-ran. I've got pretty good at doing a 'day look' but even my day look is still scraping on foundation like Polyfilla! My mum came in saying 'that dress makes you look fat'. Thanks mum. This is just my mums way of trying to be funny. She said my neck looked naked and l wasn't sure what she meant. She went off to her bedroom and came out with a string of beads that looked like snooker balls on a rope. (yes, I exaggerate for comic effect). As she was hooking the necklace to the back of my neck l was held in a moment of mother/daughter interaction that produced a tear from my eye that l just didn't want to show. Time stopped there in that moment like every time that didn't happen in the past happened then in one consolidated event of simple love and I pretended to be more annoyed that I'd have to reapply my eye liner. So I drive with my mum and dad in the car to meet Sarah, the twins and my Uncle at the restaurant in the West Pennine Moors of Bolton. Its been such a build up this moment and now there is no bottling out. I'M here, I'm Freda and they are just going to have to deal with it. I see my cousin rolling up in their 4x4 super posh child transporter and the kids get out first and run up to me and l don't know what to do when they say 'hello aunty Freda'. I know they have be briefed, l know Sarah has told them to do this but even so those words feel like gold. Sarah says I look great and l bloody-well do, to be fair. No one mentions or brings up my trans-ness and while its noted my dad is the odd one out in not calling me Freda I notice the support is on my side. One of Sarah's children whispers to the other while looking at me. I say 'are you two ok there' and they say 'we like the drawing on your arm'. Its telling that the only thing they notice about me is the tattoo. I'm sure they have more to ask in time and I'm so glad they have a mother who is relaxed and open enough to answer any questions they might have in future as they grow up. I'd like to think my presence and influence is a good one. This wasn't the big deal I'd been building it up to be but my mum continues to embarrass me with her ways. She bought Sarah and the kids a few gifts which were in the boot of my car. While she was giving out all these lovely things she said to me 'Freda, don't forget that bag of compost from mars, ill save some for you'. Thanks mum. Bye bye Sarah. Don't leave it so long next time. I Drove my parents home and said my goodbyes. My dad didn't say much, just 'be careful with the drone. if you fly too high it will go out of out control'. I know dad, l know. Freda's come home.

#transgender trans comingout

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agentnico · 7 years ago

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When We First Met (2018) Review

For those of you that were wondering if Back to the Future and Groundhog Day would have worked well together as one film, here is your answer. Sadly, it ain’t a positive one.

Plot: Noah spends the perfect first night with Avery, the girl of his dreams, but gets relegated to the friend zone. He spends the next three years wondering what went wrong - until he gets the unexpected chance to travel back in time and alter that night - and his fate - over and over again.

So Netflix, the popular streaming service, has announced that throughout this year it will release around 80 original films, which from first sight seemed like an impressive feat, but now the reality seems to come to fruition. What Netflix is doing is simply distributing films that no other distribution companies want to distribute (most likely because of the films’ lack of quality). I mean, even with The Cloverfield Paradox, Paramount realised that that movie was not their best, so they obviously began to worry about the box office results. How did they solve the problem? Just went ahead and sold it to Netflix. Thus, Paramount get their buck whilst Netflix get a film with a big franchise title to their collection. Everyone’s happy. With films like When We First Met, these kind of unwanted films Netflix puts on without much worry, as it might get a couple people interested but it’s not like its going to make them lose audience members. So the 80 Netflix Original films plan doesn’t seem so impressive now. Since When We First Met is not a good film.

Where do I start? Well, the film’s plot is ridiculous. The movie actually has a fairly promising first 10 minutes, but then the whole time travel plot-line kicks in and from then onwards the film turns into a heated pile of mess, with very annoying characters, terrible jokes, and a generally poorly painfully written script, and the result is a very dull wannabe romantic comedy. The story in general is also very predictable. From the get-go you can tell where this film is going to go, and it goes exactly that direction. No surprises.

As I said, the cast are all very annoying, Adam Devine especially. I generally enjoy Devine’s humour when it is balanced well, like in, say, Pitch Perfect or Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, however in this film they allowed him to roam and improvise way too freely that he basically becomes so annoying that there is no way that you as an audience member can root for him, and mind you he’s supposed to be the main hero of the story! Alexandra Daddario feels very wooden in her role, and it seems like she is in this film simply for her looks. The rest of the cast are also very uninspiring, minus Robbie Amell who plays this genuinely nice guy that you simply cannot hate, and also Andrew Bachelor who plays Devine’s best friend, as he was fairly consistent with his role.

As a whole there isn’t much else to say. It’s a bad film that will be forgotten very quickly. A couple of funny gags here and there is all that you can expect, but basically don’t waste your time. There is even a scene where the film tries to pay homage and compare itself to Back to the Future, which in my eyes is disrespectful, as Back to the Future does not deserve to be compared to something of this quality. This film is bad, so go check something else out this Valentine’s Day (though don’t go see Fifty Shades Freed instead, that ain’t going to be any better I imagine).

Overall score: 2/10

TOP MOVIE QUOTE: “Do you like jazz?” The only reason I liked this quote is cause it made me think of the ‘Bee Movie’.

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l0ve-pand0ra · 5 years ago

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anime review: boku no hero academia

not gunna lie.. i shit talked the Hell out of my hero. like sooo much shit. i claimed it wasn’t worth the hype that it was lame, bad plot, etc. all b4 actually watching it like a dumbass. oh , how Wrong i was. my hero for anyone new or old to anime is well known and is very big especially for the incredible character design. my hero gets alot of hype and i do thinks its for a reason. shonen anime is probably the most popular and is where the most popular franchises are born aka naruto, one piece, and dbz. and my hero is at the front running for being this generations leader in shonen. although this is not an anime that i cant find faults in , i can find quite a few but this is one of my favorite animes and is definitely worth the watch, now lets get into it.

this shonen like many is about the underdog who can! when 80% of the population has some sort of super human ability known as a quirk izuku midoriya is in minority 20% of people in superhuman society that do not have a quirk. and with the birth of the superhuman powers came the rise of a new profession, heroism. in which people with quirks get licenses to use them to save people. it’s sorta like how kids now wanna be youtubers well thats what being a hero is in this anime. of course midoriya wants to be a hero just like his idol All Might the #1 hero and pillar of peace.

in order to do that he must get into the top hero school in Japan, U.A Academy. with an acceptance rate of less then 2% (or 0.2% i genuinely cannot remember lol) . midoriya is the classic meek bullied kid being pushed around by childhood friends kaksuki bakugou who is loud, angry, and LOUD, and also wants to be a hero. his quirk is explosions that he creates from his palms with his nitroglycerin like sweat.

one day midoriya gets to meet his idol and the series kicks off. midoriyas journey in getting into U.A, viallian attacks, sports festivals., interships, training camps and more!

now midoriya as a main character grew on me. truth me told the first 5 episodes of my hero are Painful to get through, they made me cringe and midoriya cries about 5 times in one 20 minute episode which is exhausting. personally my favorite type of shonen anime protagonist are himbos , aka dumb sunshines. midoriya is not this he’s actually incrediblely smart but he’s so meek it’s annoying and for a while I thought he was the worst choice for protagonist especially with how amazing the side characters are, but he grows on you and it makes sense why he is the way he is and his character development is good. he grows much more confident and sure of himself. he has that naruto talk-no-jutsu vibe about him lol. but overall he’s good, not my favorite character by anymeans in fact i doubt he’d be in my top 5 in this series.

NOW FOR THE BEST PART ABOUT MY HERO; SIDE CHARACTERS (now i am only a mortal so i will only be talking about characters that stand out and add something to the show aka invisible girl is not mentioned neither is tail boy)

bakugou!!!! listen, he is a piece of work. and honestly it took me till season 2 to actually like and enjoy his character. he’s defently different from the normal angry anime boy because he has Zero reason to be angry which sorta adds to the comedy of the show. hes weathly, has two good parents, hes liked and popular despite being somewhat nasty, and he has a cool ass quirk along with being a prodigy at basically everything. his inferiority complex is what he battles the entire show I do feel like his character development was a little too slow, they could moved it along a little bit and not held onto how angry he was for absolutely no reason but again it kind of adds to the charm his character. his design is so beautiful the blonde hair the red eyes he’s great and hes my second fave character. his anger is toward mostly midoriya toward most people hes just loud but he really has a problem with midoriya. a problem he lowkey made up in his head but overall bakugou is a strong character and a different type of hero, he’s the opposite of all might in everyway.

TODOROKI!!!!!! if you dont know who todoroki is and you somewhat watch anime or see anime content on your social media, you are lying. his character design is super well known and is honestly beautiful he’s literally breath taking. speaking of character design let’s leave the Zuko versus Todoroki discord somewhere else I just don’t care let’s leave it alone they both have scars and daddy issues big whoop! they would literally be bffs move on. now that thats out of the way, todoroki is phenomenal, he’s the more silent type but not tsundere at all. we dont see alot of him in season 1 but mainly in season 2, he’s the son of the #2 hero endeavor who despite being a hero is human garbage! his quirk is half cold half hot. essentially he has two quirks one creating ice from the right side of his body and create flames from his left (the coolest and most versatile quirk in the series) his hatred towards his father makes him unwilling to use his fire side. but he gets over it! todoroki i feel definitely got snubbed , i feel like the dimmed him down because of how easily he could overshadow midoriya and honestly my hero could have easily been about todoroki and his journey discovering what kind of hero he wants to be thats how good he is. I cried 4 times during his battle with midoriya. i love todoroki and he is my fave character of the series.

Kirishima!!!!!! his quirk his hardening, he makes his whole body rock hard. i adore kirishima hes is so wonderful as a side character. we really see him shine in s4 during his work study and i love that especially since he was often pushed to the side. he’s also the first person bakugou acknowledes as an equal and friend. his backstory and motivation is really touching and his character design is so fun !! i love sharp teeth boi’s!!!!! and also i dont know they made him so obsessed with being chivalrous and manly but not a misogynist that is like so hard to do and they did it so well. and the fact that his motivation to keep going is a woman and someone who he respects was also so cool. also his hero custome is so cool. he said full chest out !!

mineta, now this is a character that literally everyone hates and granted he’s not my favorite character not even close but I don’t think he’s that bad. He’s the classic pervert classic girl obsessed character. His quirk is literally detaching sticky balls from his head he’s gross but I don’t mind him like all he does is talk like they have an anime character is a straight up harass women which he does sometimes but I don’t know I just don’t get why hes so hated when there are tons of similar character types like him that are worse that don’t get that much hate like I’m not defending him he’s gross but it’s not terrible and he provides comedic relief which is not always funny but it’s there

kaminari! cute shock boy! hes a more digestible and attractive version of mineta, slightly girl crazy but hes fun! hes also friends with bakugou and his quirk electricity but if he over uses it he gives himself brain damage and turns dumb. again hes more often then not pushed aside but hes funny and his personality is awesome and bright.

Iida, someone im kinda lukewarm about? he’s definitely a major side character and gets his own huge moments and out of all the side characters gets alot of screen time. his quirk is engine legs that make him super fast. hes a stick up his ass class rep but he’s nice and way more likeable after the first few episodes

ochaco.....um. shes ok ig, her quirk is making these float. has a crush on midoriya which is fine even though she looks his she could be his cousin dndjd. idk i dont love her type of preppy i wanna be like my crush character type, hinata does it better. but shes ok again lukewarm about her, i definitely like some of the other female characters better but shes not awful. again most shonen animes use female characters as prop to further the male protagonist character along. idk i jus dont like her personality.

froppy!!!! tsu!!! i adore you ! would d word for you!!! i love her so much shes such a cool character and she doesn’t fit into a box in terms of character type. her quirk is frog meaning she can do everything a frog can do. she’s so level headed and smart and witty she really adds something everytime she comes on. she’s just so chill i really appreciate that.

jiro!!! wonderfully talented queen! her quirk is earphone jack! shes just so again chilled and laid back but also super smart and perceptive. sorta tomboyish which is really cool 2 see a different look for a female character.

yayorozu!!!!! my favorite female characters of the show. her quirk is creation, she makes anything she wants as long as she knows the structure. its dope af. shes so smart and responsible and has an awesome sense of self improvement. i do believe in eating the rich but i still love her. shes a natural leader which i love to see and i think she should have been class rep but as always, men have to be in postions of power ...

tetsutetsu!!!!! the only person in class b with rights. hes kind of like kirishimas counter part, he also has a hardening quirk which makes his body into steele. hes jus so Funny and loud and i wish he was in class 1 a he’d be so good. he brings alot of energy and his fight with kirishima was so fun to watch.

miro, again. someone i shit talked b4 seeing what they were about. i honestly thought miro was going to have some evil agenda against my midoriya but he didn’t he was so good so bright his quirk is so cool it’s permeation meaning he can like walk through walls and stuff he’s so cool!!

tamaki!!!!!!!!! I ADORE HIM! SO MUCH!! hes so shy and insecure but wtf so badass with an amazing quirk called manifest meaning he can manifest on his body the different types of food he eats like he eats octopus he gets tentacle arms which means he basically has like an unlimited number of quirks??!! so dope and his character design is so sexy hes my bf

shinso, now his design is very good he reminds me alot of aizawa, and his quirk is insane and i dont know how people like invisible girl, tail guy, fucking mineta got into the hero course but someone like shinso with a brainwashing quirk didn’t, all someone has to do is answer his question and their under his control, literally so useful. he’s a really hyped up character which I find interesting because in the anime manga people don’t come for me he isn’t really showcased which is really annoying because he’s cool and I get what the hype is about but I just wish we saw more of him I think there is in the actual manga but in the anime he makes like two appearances??

AIZAWA!!! hes so ,, hot, idc him a bun forget it.. im .. his quirk... SO DOPE I MEAN TO BE ABLE TO ERASE SOMEONE QUIRK,,? dope af, his tsundere with more dere then anything hes so sweet and genuinely loves his class So Much, they are his babies. his character is super genuine and its so fun to see him and someone like all might working along side eachother just because they are such different people. aizawa is definitely my third favorite character

all might!!! the big man himself! honestly all might is what superman wishes he was, he is just so Nice and caring and just wants to help people thats all he wants to do, hes the only person deemed worthy by stain. he plays such a huge role in the series in a way a mentor/idol really never has 4 me. i love his other version as well its so well designed to be such a contrast to his muscle form.

stain, the best villain on the show, most complex and truly thought provoking and just all in all they did such a good job with his character design and his motives the stain arc was my favorite in terms of villains because my hero really kind of lacks in villians and sure the league does get better but stain has the most like convincing argument and morals like the concept that he wants to purge the fake heroes of the society away is just fascinating because society in the series so overpopulated with heros and just ugh such a good villain and his quirk,, crazy being to paralyze people by tasting their blood wild

dabi!!! aka todorokis brother (thats not a spoiler jus a fan theory that i wholeheartedly believe) his quirk is cremation which he basically has such hot fire that it jus turns everything to ash. aka his character design being him with burns, his body most likely can’t fully handle his quirk. hes so hot ugh literally come on emo boy! but really hes a cool villain and works for the League. I wish we saw more of him which I know in season 4 like toward the end he makes a pretty big appearance but after training camp we don’t see him as much as I wish we did and he’s super famous hyped up character again because his design is so dope. he’d be a good anti hero.

shigaraki!!! he’s actually my fourth favorite character.... you guys ever have that one character that one think most likely thinks is hot, but you do. YES HES CRUSTY BUT STILL SEXY GAMER. if i could just give him a skincare routine...His character is one that got probably the most development I mean we see this bratty childish kind of loser in season one in in season for a re-really see a masterminded plan from him and something truly thought out because I feel like a lot of his plans aren’t thought through and this is one of the first ones that I see truly come to fruition the way he wanted to. I really appreciate that from a villain who can grow because he wasn’t a very convincing villian and he had no motivation to do what he was doing and just seem like a dumb kid but like now after watching him grow he’s really coming into his own and for season five I want to see him continue that growth he’s having.

OK IM SO SORRY THE SIDE CHARACTERS TOOK 80 YEARS THERE ARE SO MANY

now onto my critiques these are MY opinions which literally don’t matter the author/artist is incredible and knows what they’re doing and they don’t have to cater to what I want at all this is just how I thought while watching the anime.

I feel like midoriya is a character that can’t really shine on his. I feel like side characters need to be pushed down and snubbed for him to look cool. and in general I just feel like because of the personality that he has as a main character he kind of struggles to shine unless they dim the light of the other characters because especially in season four midoriya is just constantly pushed and pushed as this end all be all if feels which OK he’s the main character but like was it realistic for some of the things that happen in season four to happen I don’t wanna spoil but if you watched it you know like who defeated who and so on. at least to me sometimes it’s really obvious that they’re pushing for you to have that midoriya is so cool reaction which just seems forced.

I mention this in some of the side character villains but my hero really doesn’t have like super compelling villains with proper reasoning to what they’re doing or maybe we just haven’t seen that yet in the anime but for me the only good villain the whole series was stain. sure the league of villains gets better but they’re seen as a joke for most of the series at least to me like I didn’t really take them seriously just them minus all for one. I feel like they have these major villains but only see them once especially with all for one we saw him once and then if you watch the my hero movie he’s like there for 2.2 seconds as a major plot point but him physically as a villain but I see him once in action and even so I still think stain is a better villain and notice how I’m not mentioning overhaul in this conversation. there was just something beyond villainious about overhaul especially the child abuse. and again he’s someone who was spoiler alert defeated and in one shot kind of way it only took half the season and if you compare him and his organization to the league their miles ahead of the League so why did they get defeated first it just kind of didn’t make sense to me.

I was sort of annoyed when the big three got introduced for my side character analysis I praised two out of the three of them and I love the third member she is incredible and a bad ass I just couldn’t write any more about side characters or else this will never end but did we need the introduction of more students when there are so many in class 1a themselves that just don’t get the light of day especially in season four with Todoroki and Bakugou being absent for most of it.

endeavor doesn’t deserve redemption arc that’s what they’re setting up for now i don’t want it he’s gross he’s a domestic abuser he’s a child beater he’s a child neglecter. he’s gross and I don’t understand how this hasn’t been exposed to the public about how the number one hero beat his wife and kids how we just not know that.

I mentioned this with bakugous character review but I feel like his development was just so agonizingly slow for no reason because it wasn’t this deep-rooted issue it was something he misinterpreted and created this fake narrative in his head about midoriya. and even after they have that big fight and acknowledge each other I feel like there’s still something missing which bothers me because there is no reason one it should’ve taken four seasons when Todoroki‘s deep-rooted issues were solved in a couple episodes basically.

I feel like the series attempted to add romance and then gave up which I think was a smart move just because at the moment there isn’t really a place for it and this is coming from someone who adores romance in anime and I thrive off it but in my hero specifically especially the way they were going to do it with Ocacho was just not it and I really hope they don’t reduce her character even more to just pining over the male protagonist because I’ll be sad because even though I’m not crazy for her I still think she’s a solid character who I don’t want to become just a propeller for character development for the sake of the male protagonist.

things i love!!

the animation is beautiful, it’s so unique and different and just feels really fresh. you can clearly see the movements and can we talk about how well they draw hands? got tier anime hands.

the fighting was the Best ive ever seen in terms of timing, most shonen animes can drag on battles for many many episodes especially dbz, it honestly feels tiring and i love the my hero has the Perfect length to i get all the action and never feel bored or over it. I also enjoy that the anime wasn’t super fillery, and when there was it wasn’t that noticeable that it wasn’t canon.

how everyone is friends really makes me happy especially to see midoriya be so loved and respected by his peers, and everyone views him as an inspiration. to know he was bullied and hated by his class in middle school to in high school having everyone love him enough to make him class rep at first. which I am so glad he stepped down from because it was lowkey cringe that he won djdj.

how rivalry is done is nice because its not a huge major thing, sure everyone is competitive but its friendly and motivating. its not cutthroat.

the dub is really good, ik people shit on dub which is fair. but sometimes the dub hits and there are moments when you wanna watch anime but you have stuff to do so you can’t solely focus on the screen. personally i don’t know why but i had a hard time getting into my hero with sub and had to watch it dub. but if you do like dubbed anime then the my hero dub is solid im sure certain things are said cooler in the sub than dub (aka hqs “dont let me down fellas alright?” jdjdxjxj) but it is a funimation dub which are almost always decent.

the structure of society and the information we get told about heros and the job are soo well done. I feel like I really understand the setting which in fanatasy animes can be somewhat difficult, and everything makes sense and is really normal. they do such a good job making being a hero a normal thing, especially since heroism especially in the western comics is viewed as this big deal that not everyone can do while in my hero its the opposite. i love that.

midoriyas not give up attitude is really endearing, sure most shonen protagonist have this but especially with midoriya being the Biggest underdog to the point where he ruins his body over and over again and still keeps moving. a moments i genuinely loved midoriyas character and fell for him completely was during training camp, when he fight smuscular and still keeps moving despite being Ruined. it’s my favorite right after stains.

i love seeing them train! ik the actual villains are exciting but things like training camp and the creating special moves moment were my favorite.

Overall;

i love my hero, it’s quickly made its way to my favorite animes of all time, the characters, plot, and motivations are so good. it’s an anime that makes me feel like I can do anything i set my mind to. I enjoy the fact that it’s an anime that like I feel like there can be a discussion and not one over about whether it’s good or bad because it’s definitely good but more in how things are done the reason things were done how things could’ve been done differently there’s a lot to talk about and I feel like this is a very unique thing because I think with a lot of anime everything is so set in stone and if things were done a different way and it wouldn’t work with my hero there are so many ways things would go which I love. and I also love that there are things that I don’t like about it or that I’m not crazy about and for some reason that makes me like it even more because I feel like again back to the discussion point there’s so much to talk about especially on like Reddit where you can see what other people think and if you’re wrong if you’re right it doesn’t really matter because I think today this is just anime! give it a watch if you are curious you wont regret it!

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #anime #bnha

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rebelracket-a · 7 years ago

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Team Rocket defense #SQUAD

//...Or, Lo thinks too much, drinks too much, and cares about children’s videogame mafias a little too much, so here’s a think piece nobody asked for about why Rocket deserves less schtick than it gets.

I know for fact that other Rocket RPers have experienced the same vaguely annoying thing I have: your character is out there being their intimidating self, only to get flooded with snarky replies from characters blatantly disrespecting your Rocket muse’s threat-level. There’s a reason I feel the need to have a rule about taking Rocket at least semi-seriously. I don’t mind a little IC ribbing, or characters ICly underestimating or doubting the power members of the now washed-up organisation might hold—but sometimes it’s SO prevalent in the community that it feels like people trying to force their own fanon notions about Rocket unto other players...and, by extension, the notion that your muse poses no challenge and is guarenteed not to stand a chance against theirs, regardless of whether they play another Team boss, or generic Pokémon trainer #51,828. cough POWERPLAYING cough... At very least, it gets boring having your muse run into the exact same smarmy conversations over and over.

Here’s a handy rundown of where I think these conceptions spring from, and how Rocket is (or at least was) no less a force to be reckoned with than any other team.

Jessie & James =/= gameverse Rocket If I had to pick the number one cause fans don’t take Rocket as seriously as the other teams, I would place 80% of my blame on THIS terrible twosome. For some of us, the English localisation of the Pokémon anime was our primary introduction to the series at large. Mention “Team Rocket” to anyone who grew up at the height of the 90s-early 2000s Pokémon craze, and they probably know about Jessie, James and Meowth even if they never played the GBC games or watched the anime in much depth. We all know Jessie & James are a pair of comic relief fuckups, but they’re so culturally prevalent that I’m certain their ineptitude has coloured people’s opinion of Rocket as a whole...even though even anime Rocket can be a real and genuine threat when the plot calls upon it. Mewtwo Returns? Domino? Come on!!

I mean seriously, gameverse Rocket is actually a prime bunch of assholes They murder Pokémon, terrorize entire towns, control entry to entire cities, and kick what might be Kanto’s most affluent corporation out of their head offices just because Giovanni decided he wanted to put his greedy hands all over the Masterball tech Silph was developing. Think about that for the moment: if the city-based headquarters of a real life tech giant were forcibly taken over irl, it would be considered a major terrorist incident. Considering Silph likely has mad security and the headquarters is such a landmark in Saffron, to pull off something like that would require considerable manpower and disregard for whatever opposing forces stand in your way. Same can be said for the Goldenrod Radio Tower takeover. Pokémon Origins was also golden for showcasing Rocket’s cruelty and making them feel like a heavyweight threat, even in the face of maintaining the team’s trademark comic relief in the silliness of its grunts.

The child protagonists are actual prodigies Yes, Rocket was defeated by a child. On two separate occasions, no less (three if you count Sevii). Egg on their face, amirite? But then, so were Magma and Aqua. And Galactic, Plasma, Neo Plasma, Flare, Skull, and Aether... Sure, on the surface it’s laughable (not to mention downright humiliating) for entire mafias and extremist groups to be toppled by minors, but consider this: Red and Gold/Kris/Ethan/Lyra...none of these kids were your average Youngster toting around a Rattata. If any of these teams were so flimsy that any old novice trainer could waltz in and take them down, why were they not vanquished by the police long before they reached the point they could commandeer a radio tower, fuck up the environment, or provoke Poké-satan into saying “enough of this shit” and dragging them to Poké-hell? And if not the police, what about the Elite Four or the rest of the League? Is everyone just lazy? Why does it take a child to topple giants? Because the protags are blank-player-self-inserts fan-fucking-tastic at what they do and have a proficiency as Pokémon trainers that allows them to face literal gods. Youngster Joey, eat your heart out.

Rocket “did it first” Yup. No getting around it: Rocket set the bar for every antagonist team that followed it. By now we’re used to the slightly hairbrained schemes (yeah Maxie, you go and detonate that land-locked volcano. What could go wrong?), and the irreverent and klutzy mooks who drop keys, let the player character slip by while they argue over whose shirt is whose, and go down in a couple hits when you fight them. But by now these are all part of the formula. You almost don’t notice it anymore, but since Rocket’s quirks were new, it sticks out in the minds of the fans that this supposedly fearful mafia-like group employed bumbling fools who blurted out about the secret entrance to their base because the MC looked at them funny.

#circa 1996 || POKEMON (MISC)#turn down that racket || OOC #rocketto dan daikazoku || TEAM ROCKET #anatomy of an anarchist || HEADCANONS #not inspired by anything that happened RECENTLY just chattin' with other rocket players #..............rocket are still a buncha fools lbr #but they are fools who will MESS U UP AND TAKE UR POKES if you take them too lightly #it's interesting to talk about the differences between anime rocket and game rocket because #WHEEZE #game rocket are not super serious but COME ON GIOVANNI #whatre you doing keeping these fools on the payroll

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survivor-guyana · 6 years ago

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Episode 12 - "tbh I totally forgot we were playing Fans vs Favorites." - Jones

So here I am. Maynor got blindsided, TJ had an idol and didn't tell me about it, and I've been on the bottom of 3/4 merge votes (I don't count Unanimous bc that's a twist so we HAd to work together) everyone has basically lied to me at some point, and all of my relationships are fractured in some way or another. Alyssa gave me her explanation why everything went down the way it did: She heard that TJ babbled to Jess that Aidan was going against Alyssa/Devon/Jess, so they confronted him with this information and flipped back to the otherside (alongside dani obviously.) HOWEVER Alyssa believes that TJ and Maynor were the ones campaigning against her, and didn't think I had anything to do with it at all (hehehehe), but because the "majority alliance" had been worried about TJ having an idol, their only options were either me or Maynor. Alyssa then told me that Aidan had been trying to throw my name out all day, but she kept me safe (HEHEHEHE) so boom. This also lead me to the realization that TJ doesn't really trust me and he never did. If he did, he would've been able to confide in me if he found the idol (which he did) and he DID, in fact, leak to the other side that Aidan/Dani were flipping (when he said he hadn't heard anything at all). If TJ told the truth about the situation, I do think Maynor and I wouldn't have tried as hard to save him, and Maynor would still be in this game. I told him i would tell him if I heard anything, but he's most definitely on the bottom, and i most likely will be voting him out if he doesn't win immunity. (hopefully he doesn't, if he does, it's either me or chelsea.) after all of this information was being processed in my itty bitty brain, I most definitely had a mental breakdown. My brain stopped processing everything that came to mind all together. and all I could do was draw a blank and laugh to myself. I was hopeless, there was no plan moving forward and I was trapped as a "goat" once again for the eventual winner of Tumblr Survivor Guyana: Fans Vs. Favorites 7... who am I kidding? Guacamole Jones doesn't just give up that easily. Aidan and Dani had expressed that they wanted to flip before the whole TJ fiasco. If I can find a way to separate myself from him and squeeze my fat ass into any cracks i can, then I will. but it will probably end in me having to do a bit more exposing to Aidan about Alyssa. (specifically about her leaking info to me.) If I can get them to my side, I have them as allies, and I also have Chelsea. so hypothetically that would be 4 ( + 1 with Aidan's vote steal) vs 3, and we can easily sweep the majority. obviously this is an act to save myself, however, this may mean more to me than that. When I said that I wanted people to play their own games, I actually meant it. Everyone deserves to fight for their spot in the game, and should fight for their case to stay. Right now it feels like everyone is playing into Alyssa's hand, and i'm not here for it at all. so i'm gonna try to do something about it.

Buckle up bitches, it's "Tea-Time" with Jess.

Today's Topic is: "Another round, another mess".

I'm going through some SHIT.

The last couple of rounds I've been trying to do the whole "let's minimize Jess's threat level" and that shit isn't working out. I'm ironically getting credit for moves and taking out people who I can honestly say I had no say in whatsoever. I've literally done nothing in this game except be a NUMBER. The only move I've made? Is getting out Sammy but I don't think I can take FULL CREDIT FOR THAT.

So I'm kind of annoyed I'm getting way more credit than I deserve because I've been down this path before. People are using myself/Alyssa as their shields and making the moves they want to do because they won't get the blame BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT: Alyssa and I will. That'll get us taken out of this game within the next couple of rounds GUARANTEED.

I've compromised so much in this game. I basically screwed my relationship with TJ up. That shit sucks but as a player he's DANGEROUS but he was my kind of dude? Hopefully he can see the numbers/odds are stacked against him and he'll have no choice BUT TO WORK WITH ME. So let's pray that happens or else big yikes x10000.

On the next next subject that is ANNOYING ME TO NO GOD DAMN END.

J-O-N-E-S <INSERT KERMIT HANGING HIMSELF MEME HERE>. I don't get the appeal as her as a PLAYER. I get the appeal for her as a PERSON OUTSIDE OF THE GAME..... she seems awesome, relatable, funny.

HOWEVER IN THIS GAME SHE'S: Messy, annoying, and CAN NOT BE TRUSTED.

YET..... the person I consider my #1, the person who I've basically fucked up my game multiple times for bye putting my foot down every time someone tries to take her out.... STILL FUCKING TRUSTS HER?! <INSERT I DON'T UNDERSTAND DANCING GIF HERE>. I DON'T G-E-T- I-T. Jones went around last round spreading Alyssa's name. I'm almost 99.9% CERTAIN. It's so obvious she threw fucking Alyssa under the bus with the Dani vote. That shit came out when Maynor wasn't even ON. HOW DOES SHE NOT SEE THIS?!

All signs are pointing to Jones selling Alyssa out. Detective Jess will take a look at the EVIDENCE: 1. Maynor was not on when TJ was spreading the fact that Alyssa threw out Dani's name. 2. Alyssa only told Maynor/Jones about the Dani vote (50% chance Jones did it.. YAY MATH!). 3. JONES ADMITTED SHE KNEW MAYNOR THREW HER UNDER THE BUS BUT DID NOT TELL HER? LIKE WHAT KIND OF CRACK IS SHE SMOKING?! 4. We've shaded Jones twice in a row with a vote. Of course home girl doesn't TRUST YOU IN THIS GAME. 5. Jones was M.I.A yesterday however, in the main chat she said she'd be ON.

Alyssa not believing Jones had anything to do with her name going around last vote is something I can't look past. I'm at a loss with what to do right now.

ALSO them adding me to the GOLDEN QUEENS when I SPECIFICALLY asked them to do it after this game is SO SUSPECT. All of a sudden I fucking tell Alyssa I'm doubting Jones... I get added to a casual chat with Jones?! I don't fucking understand these people. How obvious do you think this is? Do you think I was born fucking a second ago? I'm just-

D O N E

This stage of the game is crucial for me personally. I don't believe the F5 will consist of myself, Jess, Alyssa, Dani, and Aidan. I think that Dani is over-paranoid more often than not, and Aidan will be smart enough to not let his advantage go to waste.

I am trying to plant a seed in Alyssa's head that we need to flip on Dani and Aidan at the F7, and hopefully she bites the bait. If this works, maybe we can boot Alyssa and leave Jess scrambling? I would rather sit with Dani and Aidan in the F3

I’m over like, 80% of these people. They really think they’re being “slick” or “sneaky” or “good at the game” just because they’re being vague with me? That’s 👏 not 👏 how 👏 I 👏 ROLL 👏 HONEY 👏👏👏 like HONESTLY did they really think I wouldn’t realize I’m getting voted out? Ofc alyssa wants to go to the end with most of these people, it’s bc they’re so obviously bad at being slick. ON TOP OF ALL OF IT you think you can get away with being “sneaky” after you blindsided me NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 3 FUCKING TIMES? Lied to my FACE??? Okay. Sure. Play like that. God, these people are really playing into alyssa’s hand, huh? Do they not want to play for themself for once? That’s literally the only thing I want from everyone. Actually that’s not true but its fine. I want them to be HONEST AND TELL ME IM BEING VOTED OUT. AAAAAND I want them to play for themselves. Like play the fucking game or don’t sign up for it imo. I’m over it. Thank god people like Aidan exists though. He seems like he’s genuinely ready to fuck shit up, and I’m just excited to call him and expose the fuck out alyssa. Hell, even if I get voted out, I trust him to go against the grain and actually take a stance. He’s the hero of the season for a REASON lmao. But yeah I’ll keep y’all posted, but It looks like I’m getting 8th place! Which !!! Doesn’t!!!! SOund!!!!! GOOD AT ALL!!! Last time I found out I wasn’t getting voted Johnny as worried about my mental well being. Let’s just,,,, hope for the best this time LMao

I. Dont. Like. Sneaks. In touchy subjects, i was voted as the person who has no idea what's going on, but apparently TJ made a chat with everyone but Dani, Aidan, and I to keep himself safe?? I have talked to him every day at some point and I'm PISSED that he tried to make a chat to potentially target one of us three (who AREN'T EVEN THREATS) to keep himself safe. I will work with anyone who stays loyal and doesn't make everything a shit show, but when you talk to me all the time and go behind my back........ bye. If he stays, he has some explaining to do. Maybe he *knows* i wouldn't vote for him and doesn't see why I should be in on the chat, but in this case, I SHOULD have been in on it. If I find out that he wants to target me, haaaaaaaahahahaa.

I guess 5th and 8th isn't the worst record ever... It just sucks this is how it's going to end.

I think TJ is finally going home since we kinda forced him to use his idol last tribal. Idk I’m tired

Hi so Aidan is literally the love of my life?? We’re actually on the same page/have the same allies and whatnot, so I’m feeling a lot better knowing that we’re allies. We basically agreed that TJ is too much of a fucking mess to keep around right now, so if we get him out then we’ll still have majority on the rest of the group!! So woohoo!!! Also? TJ proposed that there’s an all fans alliance and tbh I totally forgot we were playing Fans v Favorites. Just Bc aidan specifically wanted to target alyssa the round before. But legit,,,, why wouldn’t you target alyssa is my question??? Um but yeah I wouldn’t be shocked if i got votes tonight, but we shall see?? Hopefully I live to see another round, but right now I wanna fuckin sleep

Okay #2. TJ seems to think that Jess and Devon would vote Dani with me and him which just isn't true. I will not vote Dani because she hasn't caused any issues for me or made me feel threatened. TJ making his chat in the first place tells me that he was perfectly fine if me, Dani, or Aidan went home, but I guess as long as someone else said the name, he wouldn't get as much shit for it. He has really put a target on his back by doing this and I am a little bit hurt by it. But contrary to TJ's belief about voting tonight, we're not as divided as he thinks we are.

Me this round:

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Very happy that I have immunity again but I already know that people are going to start saying I'm an "immunity threat" and it's going to annoy me. People look for ANY reason to point a target on anyone and I'm sort of expecting it? I'm already preparing responses for those kind of things.

Today was interesting because TJ was apparently desperate and making pleas to everybody that could listen (which somehow excluded Dani, Chelsea and I) but he eventually made his rounds to Dani anyway. I'm really hoping that he goes tonight because he tanked his whole game and I want him to feel EMBARRASSED and DEVASTATED for even daring to cross me in the way he did. If he listened to me and just followed my lead then he'd still be in the game WITH an idol. Thomas Pascucci is a passive aggressive little snake who loves to play the victim... but I'm hoping as we move into the 7 things get interesting.

I had a good talk with Jonesy today that confirmed a lot of my suspicions and she told me that she wanted to get out Alyssa. I was shook because I thought they were close, which they are, because I had heard she was in her confessional or something. I don't care but this anxious bitch better not be trying to play me either... but Devon seems to want to make a move too because he mentioned something about me/Dani/him needing to decide the next move. I feel like something ALWAYS goes down at 7 in Survivor history so I think everybody is anxious going into this next vote. My talk with Jones also brought my trust for Jess into question... there's a lot she kept from me (and a lot I kept from her, I do admit) but she's equally as messy but I think getting rid of Alyssa will force her into my back pocket more.

At this point there are a lot of small sub groups and alliances and deals and I don't even have an idea who the jury would love or hate. I like to think I have a good shot but it might be my ego... it's all going to be based on who tries to CLAIM different moves I think, or who gets crazy at this point in the game.

In regards to Devon I trust him more now after this round. I think he's more committed to the Massholes F3 than Alyssa/Jess but I'm not sure. I want to get on a call with him and feel him out. Maybe I can offer an F2 to him to ensure his loyalty.

But I also want to go the distance with Dani/Jess. It's a very complicated game and I feel like every boot looking forward needs to be INTENTIONAL. The endgame is near and I'm nervous but at least I still have my Opal Idol. I don't want to fuck up using that either.

DRUNK CONFESSIONAL WOOOO

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I keep thinking to myself "how the fuck did i make F7?" because part of me is like,, genuinely shocked i've made it this far? It doesn't really feel real? But then I like, remind myself of where I started in this game and how it got me to where I am now. And THEN i started thinking about Ko Chang, and then I keep thinking about how much I've grown since then? last time around F7 I was like,, cowering in fear that the majority alliance would destroy me? or something like that? it was a few months ago i just remember crying a lot. BUT WOW!! I really did it huh. Final 7. I feel like this time i'm actually comfortable enough to like,,,, do things now. I'd like to say I set myself up pretty nicely? My talk with Aidan was really successful and we're gonna try taking out Alyssa this round with Dani and Chelsea. Worst case scenario - we still have Aidan's vote steal. If alyssa wins immunity - we'll probably go for Jess? we haven't really talked about that yet? but oh well. we'll have to wait and see. hopefully my 14/20 in the spelling bee is good enough <3

Twelve Hours Later........

Wow 👏 love it when 👏 the one thing 👏 that I want to 👏 NOT 👏 happen 👏 FUCKING 👏 HAPPENS 👏👏👏 So like ok alyssa won immunity and I was THJS FUCKJNG CLOSE KM GONNA PISS MY PANTS ok ok besides the point everything’s fine it’s totally fine we’re all fine hahahahjaha But ummm I already talked to Aidan about what we should do and I think we’re both in agreeance that Jess should go? I think she’s the next best thing behind alyssa. Plus even if she doesn’t go,, I want her to HAVE VOTES LIKE !!!! JOIN THE CLUB!!! But also,, part of me is worried that i’m getting played. While I think aidan’s a genuine person when it comes to wanting the big threats out - how am I supposed to know if he thinks I’M one of the big threats, yk? But I do genuinely think he wants Alyssa/Jess/Devon out before anyone else. Even if that eventually leaves me vulnerable at F4, that’s fine. I can always go on an immunity run or smth if I ever become good at comps :)

But rn,, in the words of Jonathan Stockton: “I’m going to kms”

Dear Jones, If there's ONE thing I've learnt in this game..... it's to NEVER trust a girl who cries more than a pregnant lady.. ever.

Your crocodile tears don't phase me one bit. I've been saying for a while now that you're sketchier than a crackhead in an alleyway.

Your attempt at screwing me over was expected.. Your attempt to screw over Alyssa.... now that shit hurts. That's your BEST FRIEND Jones.. someone who literally has vouched for you to SOOO many people when they were coming after you (me included).

I HONESTLY WANT YOU GONE LIKE.... YESTERDAY.

No amount of dad jokes or Kermit memes are gonna get her out of this mess..

However, I do have ONE LAST DAD JOKE FOR YOU.

Me: Jones, I'm on I'm the jury. Jones: Hi I'm on the jury, I'm dad.. oh wait.

Sincerely, Jess. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The fact that Aidan hasn't come to me yet with the fucking lies Jones has been spreading is concerning. I can't try and save his ass now because of that. I want to save him but how the fuck do I try and defend the guy who is paranoid about me? I could sell out Devon but that does me NO GOOD right now.

7th here I come?!

I feel like every round I say something to someone I risk getting exposed. LIKE ???? Ik I said I felt okay before but I feel like I’m /too/ okay if that makes sense. I told Aidan that his name and Chelsea’s name was thrown out there by Devon. He THINKS that Chelsea’s the one who threw it out there though. Which ISNT how it was supposed to work!! We had a plan to get out Jess what are you dOING!!! NOW aidan’s gonna go to Devon to see where he heard it from. Like???? Might as well just call me out for being a snake now before it’s too late :) why’d Alyssa have to win immunity. She’s the only person who COULDNT WIN!! Why? Bc I HAD TO WIN OR ELSE ID BE DEAD. THIS ISNT HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO WORK IN MY FANTASY!!!!! But,, at least it’s not my name out there. Better anyone else but mine :0 so I don’t think my name will come up? I think the only person who came up with my name was Aidan, and now he’s like,, my new best friend? So yeehaw that’s nice. ,,,,, hopefully The Godfather— I MEAn alyssa doesn’t catch on to my snakiness.

Ugh this group is so nice and there is no particular person that I want to vote out over the other. Devon and Jones seem to want to vote with me and Aidan has talked to me a bunch. Aidan has been my social game person meaning he gives me info on people and has helped me a few times with staying safe and making moves. Last round, he told me about the chat that TJ made which I would have never known about if he didn't tell me. It wasn't a huge deal because people didn't respond and ended up voting him anyway, but still! Knowing that TJ voted me and was potentially targeting me with other people before tribal was information that I needed and Aidan provided. Even though the vote was unanimous, it was still a good thing to band together with him and Dani to make sure a few others were on the same page for the TJ vote.

Now that TJ is gone, I honestly do not know who to vote next. Do I vote Aidan because even though he has been super helpful, he is still a social threat and is killing challenges? Do I vote Dani because I have talked to her least? Do I vote Jess because it would break up the suspicious Jess/Alyssa duo? Do I vote Jones or Devon just because? I don't know what's going to happen tonight because people might have idols to use (or maybe not!) At this point in the game, I'll be sad with whoever goes but I'm ready to vote anyone who isn't me. Maybe that makes me a huge biotch, but it will get me to where I need to be, especially because I haven't played my best game this season. If I do go home tonight, I'm just happy I made it into the single digits :)

So like, I'm finally coming back around to potentially work with Devon, Jess, and Alyssa which I'm happy about because with me, we are the majority this round. At first I wasn't completely against voting Jess, but after hearing that my name was out there and reaching out to Devon, I needed to talk to Jess and see what she wanted to do. Then, Devon told me that if I want Aidan out, going to Jones and Dani isn't a great idea (since they are probs working together), so I needed to tread lightly from then on out. Thank god I never initially gave a clear answer to Jones and Dani on who I definitely want gone because Aidan might have a vote steal and will come for me or all of us lmfao.

I told Jones that I wasn't totally against voting Jess and told Dani and Jones that I wanted to vote with them, just to give them the idea that they would have majority with Aidan....(but I'm not. I am so sorry for flipping on y'all.) I feel awful lying to people because I hate being completely blindsided and not knowing who to trust, but I am doing this vote for me to help MY game.

I feel so dirty with this vote because I know I am going to lose trust in Jones and Dani, AND Aidan if this doesn't work and he ends up staying. I am the swing vote though and so I feel like I have a lot of pressure on me. Do I vote with Dani, Aidan, and Jones to get Jess out? Or do I vote with my Hosororo people and vote out Aidan? Jess is not a threat to me, because I feel like we play a similar game but I may talk to more people. She seems more predictable imo than Aidan. Aidan however, has won multiple challenges, has a killer social game, and poses as a much bigger threat to me if I was to make it farther in the game with him.

I need to vote to benefit myself for this round and that means I need Aidan gone. I am not good enough to win in challenges against someone like Aidan but I think I *might* have a chance if he gets voted out this round.

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I lost immunity by ONE and I'm pissed because now I'm a ball of anxiety and mess. I feel like fucking Jess the way I think I'm going home.

Right now I think it's going to be a straightforward Chelsea vote but stranger fucking things have happened? I'm expecting something wild to go down but my senses aren't tingling that something is happening /to me/ so I'm likely gonna save my Opal Idol for next week which is the last week that I can play it!

I don't know how I feel about the game going forward because there are a lot of deals and I think people trust me but I'm not sure. I'm really solid with my Massholes F3 but also my sub deal with Jess and I really trust a majority of this game. Other people? Not so much.

I think if Chelsea goes we'll definitely have an interesting F6 round

Confessional #3 because things can never just be simple. I ate a bowl of ice cream so now I'm all sugar and FIRED UP. You know what? I'm not feeling so bad if Aidan goes home tonight because apparently he wanted me out and thinks it's gonna be a 6-1 vote against me. Tbh I'm pissed lmao. Devon is telling Jones to vote me so that she doesn't suspect me and Devon working together, so I'm not reaching out to her or Dani anymore until they come to me. Devon doesn't think that Jones will vote for me but honestly who knows? Jones also thinks that I would vote Jess so I can't be too mad if people turn around and vote me. This is probably the round that best describes the "outwit" portion of the game because we're down to 7 people and half of the tribe had their names going around (me, Aidan, Jess, even Dani because Aidan tried to bait me into saying I would vote her.)

JESUS. Now Devon's name has been brought up. Devon told Jones that maybe I should go to get rid of any suspicion that I am working with him, but now apparently Jones told Aidan we should vote Devon..... I'm literally shook by how many names we have filtered through. Who knows, maybe this will be a 6-1 vote for me and I'm going home.

If I go home tonight, I'm telling them in my final words that I had an idol but didn't think I needed it this round, so I gave it to someone else.... and to have fun figuring out who it is :)

I'm literally? so fucking mindboggled right now? i don't know whether I should feel sick or not. like,,, I thought Aidan and I were "on the same wavelength" or something like that. suddenly at 9:45 (15 minutes before tribal might i add) he's just like "we can't do this" like??? YES WE CAN!!! THIS IS THE ONLY LOGICAL TIME TO USE THE FUCKING VOTE STEAL!!!!!!! IF WE USE IT AT F6 WE CAN ONLY TIE IT, BUT IT'LL BE USELESS BECAUSE WE CAN'T USE THE STEAL IN A FUCKING REVOTE!!! THERE IS!!! NO POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally,, if I knew the temptation was a fucking vote steal and I knew I'd end up in THIS SITUATION RIGHT NOW then this wouldn't be an issue. I sound like an asshole. but oh!! my!!! GOD!!! YOU SAY YOU WANNA MAKE A MOVE!!! THSI IS THE FUCKING MOMENT!!!! MAKE THE GODDAMN MOVE OR YOU'RE GETTING PICKED OFF IN THIS FUCKING GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I really can't believe this. and I thought I had hope. sorry i'm so fucking pissed i'm probably gonna lose chelsea over this. this is not her time to go. I fucking hate this. everyone in this game needs to step the fuck up and i'm angry. i'm probably gonna regret this tomorrow, but i don't fucking care.

We were gonna get alyssa out this round for being shady with jones. But she won the immunity. Now we are getting Chelsea I think. I was going to make a video but I’m so tired. Loool sorry

Aidan has been bothering me about flipping the votes over and over again from Chelsea to Jones to Jess

I know this is coming to the end, so big moves NEED to be made. I'll be throwing Chelsea a bone of trust and see if she grabs at it. If all works well, maybe we can get the most powerful player out of the game??? Last male standing

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