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ssprayberrythings · 1 year ago

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it'll be ok | LN4

lando norris x female!reader

warnings: unexpected pregnancy, talk of throwing up/being nauseous, suggestive actions implied if you get what i’m saying, early on pregnancy symptoms, mention of alcohol and being drunk (not the reader!!), lando being a simp for his girlfriend in every aspect of his life.

note: i know how pregnancy works and i’m not saying that reader got pregnant on this trip, her and lando are just h**ny 😭 (increased sex drive is a symptom of pregnancy though so..…)

double note: i’m not sure how lily (oscar’s lily) is as a person but she seems like a sweetheart so i went off those vibes and i referred to alexandra by her full name cause if i said alex, someone might think alex albon lol

okay thats it. enjoy 😉

word count: a little over 5k

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You and Lando had been dating now for close to 2 years. You were happy with the life you were making with him and he was happy to have you by his side through his success.

Everything was going great, at least it was up until 5 minutes ago. Now here you were sitting in the bathroom to the villa you had rented out for a vacation with friends, holding a pregnancy test not sure what to do with the fact that there were two lines looking back at you.

48 Hours Before Finding Out

“Omg this is so much more prettier than the pictures” you said as you, Lando and some of your closest friends which included some of the other drivers and their girlfriends, walked into the villa

“This is gonna be great” Lando exclaimed excitedly while wrapping an arm around your waist “Alright everyone get their rooms sorted and when you’re done, meet down by the beach” he told everyone, earning a round of “okays” and “sounds goods”.

You and Lando made your way to the master suite on the second floor, seeing as you had been the ones to suggest the vacation and rent the villa, it was only fair you got the biggest room.

“Lan I don’t know which bathing suit to wear” you asked as you stared at the bathing suits you had brought.

“Doesn’t matter to me, either way it’ll end up on the floor later” he whispered in your ear as he came up behind you

You blushed at his flirty remark “You’re naughty” you joked with him

“Only for you” he reiterated as he put his hands on your hips and started kissing your neck

“Lan if we start doing that, we’re never gonna leave” you tried being serious even though the shudder in your voice gave you away, telling Lando he was succeeding in distracting you.

This happened quite frequently. Lando knew you so well and he made you feel things, none of your previous boyfriends had ever made you feel.

He continued kissing your neck, knowing exactly where to put his lips. You felt yourself giving in with the way he was kissing you and how his hands were slowly moving down from your hips, you knew you wouldn’t be making it to the beach anytime soon.

You and Lando eventually left your room, joining your friends on the beach.

“Where the hell were you two” Max asked as he sat on a beach chair with everyone else doing their own thing

“Y/N needed help picking a bathing suit” Lando responded smirking, knowing Max wouldn’t believe him but also knew he wouldn’t push for the truth, he was smart enough to put two and two together.

“Babe I’m gonna go in the water, care to join?” Lando asked turning to you as your hands were interlocked

“No I’m okay for now, I’m gonna try and tan a bit then I’ll come join you” you told him, he smiled at your answer and then gave you a quick kiss on the cheek and started making his way towards the water to join the friends of yours that were currently playing water volleyball.

You spent the rest of your day in between tanning with the girls and playing in the water with Lando. Once everyone was done with the sun, you all made your way back to the house where you went to your perspective rooms to rest a little before you went out for dinner.

You felt extra tired which on any other day you might be more concerned about but you had been travelling between time zones and then spent a significant amount of time in the sun, so in your head it made sense to be this tired.

Once you had changed from your bathing suit into some clean undies and a oversized T-shirt, you crashed on yours and Lando’s bed where he was already sitting scrolling on his phone

“Lan im gonna take a quick nap, wake me up in like an hour so I can start getting ready” you told him as you curled into a ball nuzzling your face into the pillows

“Sure thing sweets” he said leaning down to kiss your head before going back to his phone, keeping one hand free to play with your hair knowing that always helped put you to sleep.

Lando stayed true to his word and gently woke you up about an hour into your nap, not wanting to, seeing as you looked so peaceful but knowing you’d be upset if he let you sleep longer than you wanted.

“Babe” he said gently stroking his hand over your cheek

“Hmm” you mumbled still half asleep

“You wanted me to wake you so you could start to get ready” he told you smiling at how cute you looked

“Why are you a good boyfriend and actually listen to what I say” you grumbled

He chuckled “C’mon we can take a shower together, that’ll wake you up” he suggested knowing you’d get what he was implying

You opened one eye looking at him to see if he was joking but knew he wasn’t when you saw the look in his eyes, this got you to open both eyes and slowly stretch, waking up fully in the process

“Alright pretty boy let’s go” you said as you got off the bed causing a laugh to leave Lando as he got off the bed, following you into the bathroom.

Once everyone including you and Lando were ready, you decided to visit a cute Italian restaurant nearby. Everyone in the group all loved Italian so it worked out perfectly.

While you were walking to the restaurant, you felt a slight squeeze in your stomach but chalked it up to that all you had to eat today was some fruit and a small salad.

Lately your appetite hadn’t been what it normally was, you pushed this thought aside though wanting to enjoy your vacation and deciding you’d worry about it once you got back home.

After some walking you reached the restaurant, Charles taking point and speaking to the hostess in Italian to get a table. They brought you to the part of the restaurant that was more private and made sure there were enough seats for everyone.

The host got you all menus and water, letting you know your server would be there momentarily.

You politely smiled at her and offered her thanks in Italian, you may have loved everything Italian but your knowledge of the language didn’t go past basic phrases and words.

You sat next to Lando and Lily, Oscars girlfriend. The two of you had gotten close with your boyfriends being teammates. You felt that squeeze in your stomach again, this time more intense so you casually reached for your water and hoped it would help.

Once you had drank enough water to feel better, you went back to look at your menu

“Baby are you okay? You just practically chugged your water” Lando asked quietly turning to you

You nodded “Yeah, I'm good, I just didn’t realize how thirsty I was” you lied offering him a smile, he seemed to believe you and went back to the menu, Lily however offered you a strange look, having overheard your words and not fully believing you but deciding not to push.

You could still feel that slight squeeze in your stomach and was apprehensive to order a large meal so you went for a simple soup, figuring it was the safest option.

When everyone’s food arrived, you caught a whiff of the food around you and suddenly that squeeze in your stomach was becoming too much to handle. You didn’t want to bring attention to yourself but if you didn’t go to the washroom now, you weren’t sure what would happen so you turned to Lily.

“Lils I need your help” you whispered to the girl who had just taken a bite of her food

“Is everything okay? You look pale” she asked concerned

“I’m gonna throw up and desperately need to get away from the table” you explained trying to stuff the nausea down until you were somewhere else

“Say no more” the girl said then turned to Oscar letting him know she was using the washroom, he smiled and moved out of the booth, luckily he was on the end

“Y/N will you come with?” She asked, acting like the washroom was her idea and just wanted a friend to accompany her

Your name sparked Lando’s interest and turned to face you

“Babe I’ll be back im just gonna go to the washroom with Lily” you told him quickly before getting out of the booth, offering Oscar a small smile to say sorry for interrupting his meal

Then you and Lily made your way to the washroom, as much as you would’ve preferred to run there, you didn’t want to seem weird so you casually bit your lip and hoped you could get there in time.

“Girls are so strange in always wanting someone with them to go to the washroom” Lando said to Oscar eating his food

Oscar just shrugged “I’m used to it at this point” he replied to his friend and teammate before both drivers went back to their previous conversation with the others around them.

Meanwhile in the washroom, you were in a stall on your knees with your head over the toilet. Luckily Lily was there to hold back your hair and rub your back.

“Are you okay? Did you eat something you shouldn’t have?” She asked after you were done and had stood up, using some tissues to wipe your mouth

“I didn’t have anything weird to eat, just some fruit and a small salad” you told her as you fixed your hair and did your best to get the taste of vomit out of your mouth. Remembering you had gum in your purse and silently saying a prayer to your past self for putting it there.

“That’s strange” she said even though you could sense there was more the girl wanted to say but held back

“I don’t know how I'm gonna get through dinner. The smell of everything is what triggered this” you told her turning to her

“Maybe just tell Lando you aren’t feeling the greatest and are gonna walk back to the Villa” she suggested

“He wont let me go alone, he’ll want to join me and I don’t want to take him away from everyone” you explained

“I’ll go back with you. I’ll just tell Oscar to bring my food home in a to go box” she offered

“Are you sure Lils?” You asked the girl, feeling bad

“That’s what friends are for” she smiled

“Okay, let’s go then” you told her

When you made your way back to the table, Lando looked at you, you could see there was some concern behind his eyes probably because of how long you had been in the washroom

You slid in the booth to tell him you and Lily were gonna head back

“I’m just not feeling super great and don’t want to take you away from everyone so Lily’s gonna walk back with me” you explained to him

“Are you okay? What are you feeling? I’ll walk back with you, I don’t mind” he told you the concern only worsening

“Babe I'm fine, really, I'm sure a good nights rest is all I need and then tomorrow I’ll be good” you reassured him, offering him a small smile

“Okay but text me if you need anything or want me to come back” he told you which you nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before getting out of the booth and walking to the exit with Lily.

“Where’s Lily and Y/N going?” Charles asked

“Y/N’s not feeling the great so they’re going back to the villa” Lando answered him

Charles nodded then went back to talking to his girlfriend, Alexandra.

Lando shared a look with Oscar as both of their girlfriends had left them

“Did Lily say anything?” Lando asked Oscar as they moved closer now that there was some space between them

“No, just that she was going back with Y/N” he told him. He could see Lando was worried “I’m sure she’ll be fine and Lily will text if anything happens” Oscar did his best to reassure the Brit. Lando just nodded and silently went back to his food.

24 Hours Before Finding Out

The next day, you had woken up and luckily you didn’t feel any feelings of nausea, hopefully that was an indicator that today was going to be different from yesterday and you could enjoy your trip.

You got out of bed and made your way to the kitchen, you had a strange craving for orange juice which wasn’t normally your go to breakfast drink but you weren’t mad about it, seeing as the orange juice in the fridge was freshly squeezed.

You smiled when you poured yourself a tall glass and went to sit on the patio furniture outside enjoying the beautiful view.

You pulled your phone out, scrolling through TikTok. You tried to avoid TikTok because most of the time you’d see videos of your boyfriend or any sort of f1 content but today you gave it a chance.

So far it was going great until you saw a video of this creator explaining their battle with cancer and how they were finally in remission. You felt the tears gathering in your eyes but figured it was just your hormones and you being a sensitive person.

Then you moved from TikTok to Instagram and saw a post about puppy adoptions and suddenly you couldn’t hold the tears back and that’s how Lando found you, crying over your phone

“Babe what’s wrong?” He asked instantly pulling the chair next to you, rubbing your back

“These puppies, they’re all up for adoption” you told him, showing him the rescue centre’s instagram highlighting all the dogs they had up for adoption.

Lando found you the cutest for crying over dogs “Why are you crying though?” he asked still rubbing your back

You shrugged, wiping your eyes with the back of your sleeve “I don’t know, they just all look so cute and I want them to find their forever homes” you tried to explain why you were crying, even if you didn’t fully understand why.

“You’re adorable” he smiled at you “How about when we get back, we can try and organize an adoption event with the centre, I’m sure the attention from an f1 driver should help” he suggested.

He would do anything to see you smile even if that meant having to talk with his PR manager about organizing a puppy adoption event sponsored by McLaren.

The idea brought a smile to your face and you sniffled “Thats really sweet of you Lan” you told him

“We’ll get all those dogs adopted” you leaned over giving your boyfriend a hug. The tears had subsided which Lando was grateful for, he hated seeing you cry.

He hugged you back, kissing the top of your head “Anything for you sweets” he reassured you.

After your moment, you and Lando joined the rest of your friends inside. You all enjoyed a nice breakfast together, then once the dishes were dealt with, you all went your own ways, everyone wanting to do something different.

You and Lando planned to go take some pictures around the area. That was one of the things that drew you two to each other, both having a passion for photography.

On your first date, you spent so much time sharing pictures and the stories that went with them so when you started dating, it became something you did together, whenever you could.

You were walking up to your room when Kika called your name. You turned looking in the direction of where your name had come, seeing Kika sticking her head out of her and Pierre’s room.

“Whats up? Is everything okay?” you asked as you approached their room.

“Yeah, I just was wondering if you had a tampon or a pad, I got my period and just realized I didn’t bring anything” she chuckled

“Oh yeah, I have tampons in my room. I’ll bring you a few to get you through until you can go to a local store” you told the girl, she smiled at you “Thank you, youre an angel”

You just smiled and then turned walking to your room, going straight to the washroom, to look through your toiletries bag. As you looked at the mini travel sized bag you brought filled with tampons, it hit you, you had never gotten your period.

You were supposed to get it right before the trip and the last few days of your period should’ve been the first couple days you were away but as you got ready for vacation, you still hadn’t gotten it which was why you brought a weeks worth figuring you’d end up getting it on the trip but you still hadn’t gotten it and that sparked a fear within you.

You quickly grabbed a few for Kika and closed the bag. As you turned to leave the washroom, you bumped into Lando “Oh sorry babe” you told him, you must’ve seemed frazzled judging by the expression Lando offered you

“Are you okay?” he asked “Oh yeah, just need to give something to Kika” you told him hiding the tampons behind your back.

Obviously Lando knew what a period was, having a mother, 2 sisters and a girlfriend, he was used to it and had they been for you, you wouldn’t have cared but you didn’t want to make Kika uncomfortable so you with held those details from him.

“Oh okay..well I’m ready to go whenever you want to go take some photos” he told you, offering you his typical Lando smile. You smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips “I can be ready in a few minutes” you told him once you pulled away.

Then moved around him, being sure he couldn’t see what was behind your back before leaving the room, walking to Kika’s. You knocked on the door, she answered almost immediately “You’re my lifesaver. I owe you” she told you once you handed her the tampons.

“Really glad you said that, I need you to get me something from the store whenever you go” you told her biting your bottom lip, something you did when you were nervous

“What’s up?” she asked

“Can you get me a couple pregnancy tests” you whispered, not wanting anyone to hear. Kika’s eyes grew in size “Woah, really?” she confirmed, you just nodded, not saying anything.

“Yeah of course. Want me to leave them in your suitcase while you’re out?” she offered

“That’d be great. Thank you” you told her

“Do you really think you’re” she started before gesturing to your stomach instead of saying the word

“Honestly I’m not too sure, it didn’t cross my mind until moments ago when I realized I missed my period” you explained, she nodded along

“Well you aren’t alone regardless of the results. We’re all here for you” she reassured you, you smiled at her words.

“Thanks Kika, I appreciate that” you told her “Anyways I should go and get ready, Lan and I are going to take some photos around the area, I’ll see you later” you told her offering her a goodbye before walking back to yours and Lando’s room.

You quickly changed into something clean, washed your face, tied your hair into a high ponytail and then slipped on your converse to go meet Lando downstairs.

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fan2: they’re so cute

fan3: y/n giving us the lando content

fan4: the y/nlando crumbs

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You and Lando ended up having an awesome time. You walked around and took plenty of photos. Yours were of the area, some of the locals, some of Lando, a good variety meanwhile Lando’s were mostly of you.

He called you his muse the first time you asked him why he took so many pictures of you but by now you had grown used to it and didn’t question it.

In the midst of walking around, you had grabbed a quick bite to eat at a cute cafe. You went with a fruit parfait and water, figuring it was the safest option not wanting to risk being sick.

After being out for a couple hours, you eventually made your way back to the villa. When you got back, you got a text from Kika after passing her in the kitchen.

Kika: ‘They’re in your suitcase, under a pile of bathing suits’

You quickly texted her back

Y/N: ‘Thank you. Now I owe you’

Kika: ‘If you end up having a girl, name her Francisca 😌’

You laughed, not answering her but rather hearting the message then going to find the tests.

When you walked into your room, you heard Lando in the washroom, so you checked your suitcase to double check where they were and then once you had confirmation, covered them back up.

You had plans with everyone to go out tonight so you wouldn’t be able to test until tomorrow. You weren’t sure how you were gonna avoid drinking tonight.

It’s not as if you were a heavy drinker, you just enjoyed doing shots while you were out and you could handle your alcohol well so nights out never phased you.

Tonight however to be cautious incase you were pregnant you had to avoid alcohol.

You sighed, so far this trip you had spent more time stressed out then relaxed and you weren’t sure how much more you could handle before you exploded from the uncertainty.

You heard Lando finishing in the washroom so you quickly grabbed an outfit from your suitcase before shutting it.

“I thought you were gonna join me in the shower” Lando said when he walked out, his curls wet from the water

“Sorry my love, I took too long trying to figure out what to wear” you lied, offering him a soft smile

“It’s okay, I can think of a couple ways you can make it up to me” he winked at you, you blushed.

“Your cheeky” you told him smiling as he laughed at your comment.

You quickly got yourself ready and then you made your way downstairs with Lando to meet everyone else. Once everyone was ready to go, you made your way to the local club.

On the way, Kika linked her arm with yours and walked a bit up from the boys.

“Did you test?” She asked in a low tone, you subtly shook your head

“I need your help tonight avoiding alcohol” you replied keeping your voice low

She nodded “Don’t worry, we’ll get you a mocktail at the bar and you can either sip on it through the evening or keep going back for the same one. Then with shots, we’ll tell the bartender to give you water” she explained still keeping her voice low, you offered her a small smile

“I don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here. You and Lily have both been the best” you exclaimed, Kika just smiled and gave you a side hug

“That’s what friends do” she told you.

Once you got to the club, Kika went to get your drinks and made sure to tell the bartender the plan. The bartender was a female and without even having to explain why, somehow she understood and told Kika to always give you the shot with a rounder base.

So far everything had been going smoothly and once people became more intoxicated, it was easier to let loose and not keep up the show as much as you had been.

Surprisingly you were having a great time sober, just getting to dance with everyone and enjoy being with your friends, this was exactly what you needed and it took your mind off what you had to do tomorrow.

Currently you were dancing with Lando, his hands were on your waist and you could smell the alcohol on his breath. It didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would.

“Babyyyyy” he said into your ear due to the loud music

“Yes Lan?” You asked laughing at your boyfriends behaviour

“I love youuu” he told you stretching out the you. You smiled at him

“I know. I love you too” you told him running a hand through his curls, he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling

“Can we go back to our place, I just want to be alone with you” he told you, pulling you closer and nuzzling his face in your neck, breathing in your perfume.

“What about our friends?” You asked him, even though you knew they’d be fine and you wouldn’t mind alone time with Lando

“They’ll be fine” he said as he started kissing your neck, you shuddered a bit at the sensation.

“Don’t start doing that here or we won’t be able to stop” you told him even though you didn’t want him to stop

“I don’t want to stop” he said pulling his lips away to answer you before leaning down and kissing you.

You felt yourself getting weaker in the knees. This was the effect Lando had on you.

“Okay fine, let’s leave then” you said in between breaths, he smiled and then grabbed your hand, intertwining his with yours and carefully made his way to the door.

“Where are you going?” Kika asked as you passed her and Pierre

“Back to the Villa. See you later, stay safe” you told her quickly offering a wave over your shoulder

She chuckled “Children having a child” she muttered under her breath

“What did you just say?” Pierre asked his girlfriend

Kika didn’t think he had heard with the music “Nothing” she quickly said

“No I swear you said” he started but she stopped him before he could finish.

“Pierre just drop it for now. Please” she asked. The look they shared said enough. He nodded and then they went back to dancing.

She hoped he wouldn’t say anything further on the topic, her boyfriend had a tendency to spread gossip even if it wasn’t always intentional but hopefully this time, he’d keep it to himself.

Back at the Villa, you and Lando were having a great time and took advantage of the empty house, getting to be loud as you pleased. If you weren’t already pregnant, there’s a good possibility after tonight, you might’ve been.

Moments Before Finding Out

The next morning, you woke up wrapped in the duvet and Lando. You smiled at how peaceful he looked. Then you remembered what you had to do and suddenly you felt the nerves creep back up on you.

You sighed and carefully got out of bed, being sure not to wake Lando. Thankfully he was a heavy sleeper when he had been drinking.

You crept over to your suitcase, finding the pregnancy tests and taking them to the washroom. You had googled that testing in the morning was the best time so that’s what you were doing.

You locked the door and then opened the first box. Taking the test and sitting on the toilet. You quickly peed on the stick and then placed it back on the counter, on top of a piece of toilet paper. You finished up and then pulled your sleep shorts back up and set the timer on your phone. Sitting on the edge of the toilet.

You closed your eyes trying your best to keep your breathing steady. Everything would be fine. Lando loved you and even if this was unexpected, he wouldn’t leave you, at least you didn’t think he would, he wasn’t like that. You did some more deep breaths until your timer went off and you quickly silenced it not wanting to wake up Lando.

You shakily stood up from the toilet and with your shaking hands, reached for the test and that’s when you saw, the two lines looking up at you, indicating you were pregnant.

After Finding Out

After the first positive, you had to do the other 3 tests to be sure and of course those all came back positive. You put them back in one of the boxes and just stood there in shock.

You were pregnant. You were going to be a mom and Lando was going to be a dad. You wanted to cry but you also knew once you started you wouldn’t be able to stop.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed in the washroom until you heard Lando call your name, you knew you had to tell him now or else you’d drive yourself mad keeping it in.

You opened the door and made your way back to the bed. Seeing Lando sitting up rubbing his eyes, he must’ve just woken up.

“Lan, I need to tell you something” you told him biting your lip due to your nerves. He looked confused

“Is everything okay? Did something happen?” He asked as you made your way to sit next to him. You sat with your feet tucked under you

You reached for his hand “Nothing happened” you reassured him then took a deep breath before continuing

“I’m pregnant” you told him trying to keep your voice steady and calm not wanting to show your nerves, already knowing Lando would have plenty of his own.

“Sorry but I think I heard you incorrectly; did you say pregnant?” He asked rubbing his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming.

You nodded your head, not sure what was going through his mind at the moment. You sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime, the longer the more nervous you got.

Lan was never speechless and this scared you “Lan please say something” you said, feeling yourself wanting to cry even more now

He must’ve sensed you were on the verge of tears “Baby I'm sorry, come here” he said opening his arms which you gladly accepted and buried your head in his chest, the tears finally leaving.

“It’s unexpected but it’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out together” he said rubbing your back “I love you and there’s no one else I’d want to have children with, I just thought it’d be a bit further down the road but this is okay. Baby’s are a good thing regardless of when they come” he told you.

You pulled away, wiping your eyes “So you aren’t gonna leave?” You asked as you hiccuped

“Not a chance. You’re stuck with me for life now” he told you smiling. You returned the smile finally feeling better.

You and Lando spent the rest of the morning cuddled up, talking about your baby, what you thought they’d look like, how they’d act, if they were a boy or a girl.

At some point you must’ve started to drift off cause you found yourself cuddled up next to Lando as he played with your hair, subconsciously your hand found its place on your stomach and Lando kissed your head.

He loved you and would do anything for you and now that meant your baby as well. The two of you were his world and he planned on spending the rest of his life making sure you both knew how much he loved you both.

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AH! I hope you all enjoyed this <3 I had such a fun time writing it and I'm proud of how it turned out! Im always open to feedback so please share your thoughts !

#ssprayberrythings talks #ssprayberrythings x formula one #lando norris #lando norris x reader #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 smau #x reader #f1 imagine #ln4 #lando norris smau #lando x reader #ln4 x reader #imagines #ln4 fluff

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lexirosewrites · 29 days ago

Note

I was reading an omegaverse fic, like I do on a sunday, where A!Eddie is taking care of O!Steve in heat, and It made me think about the Ultimate Consent/Good Guy version of the trope.

Through whatever Fanfiction tropes needed, Steve goes into heat around Eddie before there is any kind of conversation about it. They've been flirting, and they're attracted to each other, but no dates, and Steve hadn't even admitted that he IS an omega yet.

Heat starts suddenly, and for plot reasons, Eddie is there only one who can be there. As horny as he is about this situation --- he likes Betas fine, and he likes Steve a lot no matter what, but now Steve + Omega? Yes please --- he knows he needs to get Steve into his room or nest, bring up snacks and water and whatever, and then gtfo.

But Steve clings and begs Eddie to stay, and he is only a man.

Eddie is positively feasting here, deliriously happy, absolutely soaked in Steve. Steve is entirely on board with this. Theyve been at it for more than an hour, and Eddie is finally naked too, about to finally fuck him, when Steve says No.

Worse than 'No, get out.' That would suck, but Eddie could go away and jack himself until his hand cramped.

This is No, but please stay, but also no more sex stuff, but keep holding me, but don't put clothes on I hate it, but I don't want sex.

Heats are long without sex. Two days or more rather than 12 hours.

Heat scent is evolved to make Alphas want to fuck, and to make the omega come. Eddie is hardwired to do the things that Steve doesn't want.

And I just thought of something, that we need a cousin of Rejection sickness for this. That sometimes gets set off if an alpha is around an omega in heat for too long without sex. Which is why asking an Alpha to stay for a heat is kind of a given that its gonna involve sex.

Because Eddie does exactly as Steve asks, takes care of him, keeps him hydrated, holds him, holds him upright so he can use the bathroom, and does it all while consciously knowing he'll crash after its done. That way when the heat breaks and B!Robin comes in to take over for Eddie, we have a way to hurt them.

Eddie goes home, showers again, goes to the urgent care to get the meds that have like, a 20% chance of actually cutting off how sick he's about to be, and obviously, they don't work. So Eddie is laid out flat, sick as hell, and it'll be 4-6 weeks before he's fully better. This isn't all that common, but its socially a valiant thing in the right circles. In the wrong ones, its a sign that Eddie is too pathetic to fuck an omega properly. With good people though, its proof that Eddie cares enough and is strong enough to respect consent during what is measurably the hardest test for an Alpha.

Meanwhile Steve is freaking out because he got scared at the last minute and doesn't remember much of his heat, just that Eddie stayed the whole time while Steve was needy and awful. And after, when he calls to apologize, Wayne passes on the message that Eddie 'is fine, he's not upset, but he needs a little time'

*insert happy ending here*

RIP Eddie Munson

cause of death: blue knot😭

#slick sunday #steddie #steddie omegaverse #omega steve harrington #alpha eddie munson #steve x eddie #a/b/o #omegaverse #my asks #anon asks

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1x20 · 3 months ago

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hello and welcome to my tutorial on how to create gifs like this one! full explanation under the cut, but if you wanted to take a little peek at the gifset attached to this tutorial, here ya go!

for the purposes of this tutorial i am assuming you know

how to make a gif

what vhs footage looks like

STEP ONE: MAKING YOUR GIF

choose your footage and plug it into your desired software of choice! i use photoshop for this so i can only attest to the efficacy of these methods in that context

as for shot selection, you could feasibly choose anything. however, i prefer shots without too much movement in them - makes it look more like a home video.

because of the heavy amount of colors and filters, i'd recommend a gif somewhere around the 40-50 frames! but of course you can play around.

oh i also set the frame delay to 0.08 seconds. this is slower than most gifmakers tend to set theirs, but it makes it run buttery smooth imo.

STEP TWO: MAKING THE COLORING

here's where we get vhs specific. if you're unfamiliar with vhs footage, i recommend clicking through this youtube playlist! if you're not interested in the coloring, skip to step three (smart object fuckery + filters)

now while making a set i tend to choose some primary colors for my gifs. in the gifset i linked above, i chose to work with blue and orange-y yellow. in some of the other gifs i'll be using as examples (from an unfinished set) i chose green and yellow.

to create the above coloring i generally use these steps:

1) curves

i'm a maniac so i use the same curves layer to initially edit the luminosity AND colors of my gifs. the purpose of this layer is to edit brightness/contrast like i normally would and already start the process of changing the colors a little bit. this is my curves layer for the blue house gif:

to make the gif go from the left image to the right image:

as you can see i used the brightening curves to make the footage a whole lot lighter. i also increased the reds to get rid of the cyan tint a lot of blue footage has, slightly increased the blues, and once again decreased the greens to get rid of any cyan. this does make the blue hue a bit more purple, which is a nice bonus!

as for the gif of the boy, that one's a little harder to show a before and after for, but i'lls how the curves for good measure:

the original shot was already quite bright so i only edited the brightness a litttle bit. because i knew i wanted the gif to be green and yellow, i increased the greens, decreased the reds (except in the shadows), and decreased the blues (to get yellow)

2) channel mixer

now the channel mixer layer takes a little getting used to so i recommend experimenting. ALWAYS USE THIS LAYER ON THE COLOR BLENDING MODE for a more even result.

i use channel mixers to sort of... unify the colors a bit more. for the house gif, for example, i increased the blue channel to +110% blue, but decreased the blue in the red (-12%) to retain the yellow in the window.

if you want me to explain this more in depth, send an ask! it'll be kinda longwinded though

before / after of the boy gif with curves/channel mixer.

3) levels

this is where it starts looking more vhs-y! vhs footage has light shadows and dark highlights.

first, set your levels layer to luminosity blending mode to retain your beautiful colors.

then, crunch the hell out of your gif to make it very... mid.

this may feel a little wrong at first but i prommy it'll look okay at the end. a before/after for the boy:

now that's starting to look familiar right?

4) color fill/gradient map

because i want to unify my colors/make sure my gif is saturated, i usually add either a color fill or gradient map layer. in the case of the house, i chose to go with a dark blue color fill:

because the coloring of the boy gif was a little more complex, i decided to go with a brown to green gradient map.

this will make the shadows yellow, and the highlights green.

BOTH THESE LAYERS ARE SET TO OVERLAY. i usually fiddle with the opacity of them until i like it, but it's anywhere from 7% - 17% depending on what i feel like that day

5) curves (again)

this layer is probably useless but i do it anyway to make myself feel better. this is just a regular curse layer to up the brightness a tiiiiny bit and amke sure everything's clear. also it helps counteract the darkness your overlay color will add in.

6) color balance

this is my most subtle layer so i won't be able to show before and after but i fiddle with the color distribution a little until i'm satisfied. set this layer to color blending 'cause that's what you wanna affect!

i decided i wanted the house gif shadows to be a little more purple, for example, so i added in red (+3), magenta (-1) and blue (+1). etc etc. do what feels good!

STEP THREE: SMART OBJECT FUCKERY AND FILTERS

OKAY that was a lot. sorry or you're welcome. but good news: now's the fun part. convert your animation to a timeline, then select both your coloring and gif layers, right click, and select convert to smart object.

now that your gif's a smart object, i usually crop it. i tend make vhs aes gifs a 4:3 ratio (so 540 x 405 px) because that's what vhs footage was usually recorded as! crop your gif, resize, and then we can continue.

1) color bleeding

vhs footage usually bleeds its colors - this manifests as a short of... weird subtle halo around any object. the way to recreate this in photoshop is to duplicate your smart object.

set your copied smart object to color blending. now move it to the side a couple of pixels (i usually do around 5px, but you do you!)

as you can see, the tree and chimney (and everything else but less prominently) have a yellow shadow to them. this is exactly what we want!

2) filters

now's the time to add your filters and make it look like shit (but on purpose!) first, select both smart objects and convert to smart object again. this will ensure the filters apply to all layers evenly.

i use the following filters:

unsharp mask (amt 35%, radius 4px) - this will subtly add some sharpening but only on the edges of objects

add noise (amt 7.5%, distr. uniform, not monochromatic) - this will add the signature vhs grain.

box blur (2px) - i edit this to be 75% opacity with the little arrows to the right, just to make sure you can still make SOMETHING out when you're looking at the gif. MAKE SURE THIS FILTER IS ON TOP OF YOUR NOISE FILTER. tumblr will kill your gif otherwise

4) ONE LAST THING

usually at this point i'm not happy with either the saturation or levels. (usually the levels). so on top of your smart object, add another saturation or levels layer and fuck around!

in the case of the house gif, i thought it was too bright still so i set my output levels to 13 and 216. for the boy, i thought the shadows were too dark, so i set my shadow output to 11.

BEFORE & AFTER:

aaaand that's it! thanks for reading! if you have any questions, feel free to come to my askbox, i'm always happy to explain my process. happy giffing 🥰

#gif tutorial #ps tutorial #photoshop #completeresources #allresources #giffing tutorial #vhs gif tutorial #idfk. what do you even tag for tutorials lmao

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mytokyodebunker · 10 months ago

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Asking The Ghouls To Do Your Hair

Frostheim

Jin Kamurai

Jin… Doesn't know. Probably hands it off to Tohma- I'm just joking…UNLESS-. He's actually pretty caring of others so he might learn one or two different braids but that's it. He seems like he's probably good at putting your hair in a clip or a bun but nothing else.

Tohma Ishibashi

Tohma…..He would be good at it probably. If not, then surprise!!! He is now. He's used to taking care of Jin anyways, adding hairstyles or braiding to that list wouldn't be that bad.

Kaito Fuji

Kaito would absolutely love to do it but he would probably be bad at it. He's SCREAMING at the fact that he's touching your hair with your permission, extremely happy the entire time. Might be confused during the process but he's not complaining at all.

Lucas 'Luca' Errant

He doesn’t know but won't give up until he knows every hairstyle humanly possible. Every time he asks you with earnest eyes to let him practice again, and every hairstyle is more elaborate than the last. The process is always long and painful on your scalp, but the end result never disappoints!

Vagastrom

Alan Mido

Our young grandpa himbo. We all know he wouldn't know how and he would rather not accidentally hurt you in any way, even if you flinch at the slightest tug, he'll stop immediately.

Leo Kurosagi

Leo knows different hair styles, but doesn't know how to execute it. He knows what's trending and what looks good on a person. Little bastard wouldn't give the advice until you mess up though.

Shohei 'Sho' Haizono

He wouldn't know until he get comfortable with your hair and he'll pick up on it after awhile. The type to learn quickly. Alternatively, he does Leo's hair when Leo makes him do it, and he always does a good job. Very gentle.

He also strikes me as Leo's unwilling makeup artist and lighting/photoshoot assistant so you know that he has some sort of experience.

Jabberwock

Haru Sagara

He's the best person to ask if you want someone to brush your hair nicely (and quickly), since he's the one who grooms all the animals at Jabberwock. Can't do much else to your hair - maybe add a bow? Would still somehow injure himself in the process though.

Towa Otonashi

Surprisingly good at hair. Would probably also put flowers in it too while he's doing it. Sunny sunny day the entire time....may or may not eat the flowers while it's in your hair. He knows One (1) style and proceeds to make everyone he can get his hands on look like a fairy princess. There's no choice.

Ren Shiranami

Doesn't know. Doesn't WANT to know. Frankly, he is offended you asked him. He hasn't touched a comb in ages, his hair is short enough and it'll get messed up again anyway.

If anything, you would be combing his hair. But be warned, he will loudly complain whenever you get the comb caught on a tangle.

Sinostra

Taiga Hoshibami

Taiga….Nope. He will pull and tug on your hair. Forget anything about braiding or any hair styles, he'll fuck up your hair worse than you ever could. Taiga would rip your hair out or else cut the tangles out with scissors if you ever asked.

Romeo Lucci

He had strong opinions about your hair (and the rest of your look) from the start, so if you let him he'll give you a full makeover.

he'll know what your face shape needs and wash & style your hair nicely, then complain that your skin is crap and give you a facial and apply your makeup, then put you in a better outfit so that your shitty clothes don't ruin his hard work. Then make you work the casino floor because his services don't come for free and no he won't pay you. Do you have any idea how much the perfume you're wearing costs?

Ritsu Shinjo

Doesn't know. Could learn. Will he though? Probably not, it's nothing he needs to be a lawyer. If you insist, then he proceeds to over-gel your hair while you die inside. Later, he'll genuinely ask why you haven't asked him a second time.

Hotarubi

Subaru Kagami

Subaru would say he doesn’t know anything about hair but if you insist then maybe he'll just brush it out for you, but secretly he probably knows all of the theatre hairstyles for kabuki. He prefers leaving your hair loose though.

Haku Kusanagi

He can, and is ridiculously smooth at it too. No head pain, can tell if you've got a sensitive scalp, knows all of the staple styles - ponytail, bun, braid. It's strangely therapeutic to get your hair done by him, like spending time with a big sibling.

Zenji Kotodama

Zenji would make some rendition of maiko and geisha hairstyles but with his own spin on it, but it will take hours and your scalp will be screaming at you and he won't shut up all through the process. He would spout off poetry while at it. Might sing too. If you don't like his voice, too bad he's doing it every time he does your hair if he gets the chance.

Mortkranken

Yuri Isami

He insists that he, a genius doctor, is adept at everything that requires dexterity, but he refuses to spend his incredibly precious time braiding your hair. Suggest he's not actually that good, and he'll change tune. He'll sit you down and plait your hair with perfect surgical precision (ha), then demand endless praise and fawning.

Jiro Kirisaki

Doesn’t know. Probably hasn't used a comb before. He could learn, but that's so much effort. Thinks it'd be easier for both of you if you just cut it all off.

Obscuary

Rui Mizuki

Rui won't touch your hair, because he's worried about his curse, but he'd notice right away when you change your hair. He'll happily compliment it, and might suggest hairstyles he'd love to see you wear in the future.

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g4yforethan · 1 year ago

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the helper

pairing: billy loomis x male!reader

summary: reader is billy’s accomplice and billy repays him for his hard work

warnings: cursing, top!billy, bottom!reader

a/n: thought of this in class and realized i have never made a fic for billy so here it is and hope u enjoyy! also happy halloween to those who celebrate!!

"billy i'm scared." "don't be. remember it'll be quick and easy." you drove passenger side next to billy as you were headed towards casey becker's house. you both arrived two blocks away and grabbed two ghostface costumes, an anonymous phone, and a voice changer. "okay just stay here and i'll tell you when it's time to go." billy reassures you as he goes towards the front of the house. you called casey's home phone number and talked to her through the voice changer. she couldn't recognize it was you even though you sat next to her in physics. after minutes of being on the phone, you hear a crash through the window and a scream following soon after.

“GO GO BACK TO THE CAR.” you hear billy scream as he runs towards you taking off the costume. you both run down the block and speed out of the street. “WOO! good job there y/n. i’m proud of you.” you blush at his comment as his hands reach for your thigh. “hey how about we head back to our place and wash up for the night?” you agree and the two of you head back to his house. once you both get there. the two of you quietly sneak upstairs to his room. billy takes off his shirt and lays on his back in bed. you sit down next to him as he stares at the wall, thinking about earlier that night.

“wow we really just did that! this is crazy. i’m proud of you.” he turns his head and stares at you. “thanks i mean i didnt do much besides calling her.” he laughs in response. “yeah but it’s more than that. you committed to it y/n. you committed to me.” you blush and turn away so he doesn’t notice this but he did. he gets up and pulls your face so you’re staring at him face to face. “thank you billy i don’t know what to say.” you continue staring at each other. “you don’t need to say anything pretty boy.” he grabs your face and presses his lips onto yours. his hands reach for your waist as yours reach his back. he moans at the taste of your lips and savors every moment of it. he takes a moment to take his shirt as do you too and the two of you move onto the bed.

billy lays you on your back and starts to kiss along your neck. his hands reach for your nipples as he starts to stimulate them. you moan which turns him on even more. he starts to kiss your chest and begins to suck on your nipples. you start to roll your eyes back as his fingers reach for your mouth. you suck in his fingers for a few minutes before billy lays on his back. you start to kiss his neck and chest before unzipping his pants. his long dick, already dripping with pre-cum, enters your mouth. you suck on his cock for a few all while his moans fill the room. "fuck fuck stop i'm gonna cum." you stop because you know billy wants more of you.

"i wanna fuck you so bad baby boy." "billy please." he unzips your pants and underwear and lays you on your stomach. he starts to tease your hole by licking it and putting one finger in and then another in as well. "billy please i want your dick inside of me." "easy there baby i'm getting to it." he spits on your hole before slowly sliding his cock inside of you. he groans as his dick is hit with your tight hole. he goes at a slow and soft pace, allowing you to relax and get adjusted. he leaves kisses on your back and grabs ahold of your waist as he starts to go a little faster. he digs deeper inside of you and hits your prostate which leaves you rolling your eyes back into your head. "fuck billy right there."

he knows he's hitting the spot as he goes even faster pounding your hole until your fingers are gripping the bedsheets. his sweat combined with yours melt onto the bed as billy pulls on your hair and grabs your neck. "i'm gonna cum baby." he moans as he fills your hole with his cum. he lays on his back and wipes the sweat off of his face. "fuck baby you felt so good." you blush and move next to him and give him a kiss on his neck and lips. "thanks billy so who's next on our list?" he smiles and kisses you before reaching to hold you in his arms.

#male reader insert #malereader #gay smut #men #male reader #scream x male reader #gay reader #gay love #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis x y/n #billy loomis x male reader #ghostface #ghostface x reader #ghostface x male reader #skeet ulrich #skeet ulrich x reader

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strangersteddierthings · 2 years ago

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Shovel Talk(s) Part One

Part One 🦇Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four

Steve and Eddie aren't even together when Steve gets the Shovel Talk from Eddie's uncle, but it is what tips Steve into talking to Eddie about his feelings, so he's not upset by it.

They aren't dating, not because he doesn't want Eddie, because he absolutely does. It's just that he wants to be sure Eddie wants him back. There are times when he's sure, when Eddie gets into his space a bit too close, or more often, than he does with anyone else. Eddie calls him a thousand and one nicknames, ranging from sweet to irritating but just when Steve thinks that's a perk left just for him, Eddie hands someone else a new nickname (just the one, a voice in Steve's head that sounds suspiciously like Robin says).

Not that any of that is the point. Wayne wouldn't bother to give Steve a shovel talk at all unless he knew how Eddie felt. Wayne is a man of action, and he's never done anything unless it mattered. Meant something. Steve and Wayne have sat in plenty of (what Steve considers to be) awkward silences because Wayne doesn't talk to fill the void of silence.

The point is, Steve drops Eddie off at the house the government so graciously bought for the Munsons, walks Eddie to the door and giving Eddie a hug goodbye. He stays on the porch until Eddie shuts the door and then nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Wayne call out his name.

"Harrington," Wayne says from the shadows of the wrap around porch.

So, Steve jumps and it's only then he notices that Wayne is sitting at the table and chairs set up on the porch. "Mr. Munson, sir, hi. Hello."

Wayne lets out a chuckle, but it doesn't really sound amused. "I have come to accept that you are nothing like your father, boy, but I do want to make it clear to you, that Eddie means more to me than anything else on this Earth."

"I know, sir."

"I know you do. And while I will forever be grateful that you helped return him to me alive, know that I will not hesitate to make you disappear if you hurt my boy in a way he can't bounce back from."

Steve's not afraid of Wayne, not really, but that doesn't stop him from feeling the need to flee. He doesn't, though, because he'd gotten enough shovel talks from concerned parents in high school, and he knows they can sense weakness. "I can't promise I'd never hurt him, sir, but I can promise it'll never be intentional."

He can't actually see Wayne's face in the darkness but he feels sized up all the same.

"I believe that, Steve," Wayne says, and it's the first time Steve's ever heard his name leave the man's mouth, "now go home."

Wayne's shovel talk was expected. Robin's is not.

"You took Eddie on a date date?" She whispers it as though they aren't alone in Steve's living room. They're laying on the floor in a line, heads next to each other so if they turn slightly to the side they can make eye contact. Steve's not sure why they always end up on the floor for Serious Talk Time.

"Yeah," Steve says, looking away from Robin's face to stare up to the ceiling, "I mean, sorta? We can't like... be open that it was a date, but we went to dinner and a movie and it was nice. Shared a popcorn and played footsie under the diner table."

"Whoa," Robin says. "I never thought you'd- didn't think you'd be brave enough to ask him."

"Me either."

"Steve," Robin sounds serious, so Steve turns to look at her. She studies his face for a moment before she's the one to look away, speaks to the ceiling, "be careful with Eddie, yeah?"

"What? Careful how?"

"I just think you could really fuck him up," Robin says. "You're his first boyfriend, right? That's going to set a precedent for relationships that might happen if you two don't work out. And I hate to say this, because I know you've changed, but like, I saw how a lot of those girls you dated in high school ended up when you broke up with them."

Steve's a little hurt, because Robin's his best friend. She should be giving this talk to Eddie, not him. But, also, he understands. He knows that Robin knew about Eddie's sexuality before he did, knows they bonded over being queer while Steve was still figuring himself out.

Steve also knows that Eddie's never been in a relationship before, Eddie'd told him at much when Steve asked him out. Steve doesn't like that Robin implied that he and Eddie will eventually break up, but no matter how much that thought makes Steve's heart ache, he won't know if it'll happen unless it does.

He just doesn't understand why she seems to think he'll be the one breaking Eddie's heart. It could go the other way.

"Did you OD over there?" Robin asks, trying to lighten the mood.

"No," Steve answers, "I'll be careful."

They've been on four more dates before Nancy knocks on his door. She doesn't accept his invitation to come inside. Just starts speaking on his doorstep.

"As Eddie's Capital P Soulmate," is how she starts that sentence, and it makes something hurt deep inside Steve as he tries not to think about Robin, "I am obligated to remind you that I do own several guns now. And I don't miss."

"Jesus Christ," Steve says, because even Wayne was more subtle, "I got it."

"Good. I do know you'd never hurt him on purpose," Nancy says but Steve doesn't feel reassured.

He thinks that, if she really didn't think he's going to end up hurting Eddie she wouldn't have said anything at all. "Right."

"Well, good talk Steve," and then she's walking down the driveway and climbing into her car.

He closes the door and goes to the kitchen to get himself a beer, mostly so he has something to do besides stew in his emotions. He wonders if Eddie has been given the shovel talk, too? Maybe Robin did the same thing Nancy just did. Showed up unprompted, threatened Eddie with some sort of bodily harm, and then just left.

Steve grabs the phone and dials Eddie's number.

"Hello?" Eddie's voice greets him, albeit questioningly.

"Eddie, it's Steve."

"Oh, hello sweetheart," Eddie says, "are you calling for business or pleasure?"

Steve laughs, "business."

"Boo!"

"Listen, uh, I had a question. I just wanted to know if anyone's said anything to you. About us. Or, y'know, specifically about us and our relationship?"

"Uh, not really? A few congratulations, I guess. Why? Did someone say something?" Eddie's voice is level, almost too level, so Steve knows he's trying to keep cool.

"Oh, no! No! I mean, aside from the scary shovel talk from- Wayne, everyone's been surprisingly cool about it. Very supportive," Steve says and even though it's true, everyone they've told has been cool about it, it feels a little bit like a lie.

Eddie laughs, "I can't believe my uncle gave you a shovel talk! You know, I keep expecting to get one from Robin but so far nothing. She must think you're safe in my capable hands."

Steve is safe in Eddie's hand, he thinks, but that doesn't stop the sting that goes through him. "Of course, she does. You've been a perfect boyfriend."

There's a pause before Eddie's voice comes through the phone, soft and quiet, "I'm glad you said so. I want to be. For you."

"You're not allowed to say those kinds of things when you aren't within kissing distance, babe," Steve says, because if he doesn't add humor to this conversation, he's going to tell Eddie he loves him instead, and even Steve knows that saying that a month into dating is too soon, especially over the phone where he can't see Eddie's reaction.

Eddie laughs and makes kissing sounds at him before the conversation shifts to chatting about the day and making plans for the weekend.

Steve is trying really hard to not be the person he was in high school but every time he gets to the point where he's being a better person, someone brings up how he used to be. Shoves it back into his face that no matter what Steve does he can't outrun his past.

One such time is shortly after Steve and Eddie accidentally come out as a couple to all of Hellfire. Steve was just dropping off the boys and had stepped inside to chat a bit. Once game time had arrived it had and Steve made to leave, they'd (he and Eddie) had been on autopilot. Eddie'd whined 'where's my goodbye kiss?' and Steve had stepped over, kissed him goodbye, and was out the door before it had actually computed.

Steve had burst back through the door, rushing back to Eddie, because no way in Hell was he going to leave his boyfriend to deal with whatever the consequences would be alone.

It had been absolute chaos at the table with people shouting over each other.

"Of all the people you could be with, you picked Steve!? You could do better!" Mike had whined, and Steve had thought for sure he was the only one who had heard Mike until he saw Will punch his arm and hiss his own 'don't be a dick' at Mike.

It took almost half an hour to calm everyone down. It was a relief to know that Eddie had come out to his bandmates/the older Hellfire members already. The kids took it in stride, in the end, and Eddie had shoo'd Steve away.

Jeff had excused himself, too, and Steve thought he was just going to use the bathroom but instead he followed Steve outside.

Ah. Steve knows what's coming.

"Harrington," Jeff says, "can't say I'm excited that you're the secret boyfriend Eddie's constantly sighing wistfully about. I'm sure Wayne's already threatened you," And Robin, and Nancy, and Mike doesn't think he's good enough, "but if you hurt Eddie-"

"I get it! There will be dire consequences if I hurt Eddie," Steve snaps, not down for hearing it anymore. He stomps to his car and peels away from the curb without bothering to look back.

If he's being honest, Steve didn't even know he had a breaking point with shovel talks until he gets his fifth one from Dustin.

It's not even a shovel talk. It's just a single sentence, said almost a month after Dustin learned about their relationship. He's dropping Dustin off after their DnD game. Normally Claudia picks him up, but she's busy tonight and asked Steve to do it.

"Alright, Henderson, safely delivered."

"Thanks, Steve," Dustin says, unbuckles his seatbelt, and opens the door, before turning back to Steve. He just looks at him for a moment.

"What?"

"I'm happy for you and Eddie. Just, don't hurt him, ok?"

He nods his head but can't say anything. Dustin grabs his backpack, shoots him a smile, and climbs out. Steve does wait until Dustin closes the front door behind him before putting the car back in gear.

He manages to get home, somehow, because Steve doesn't fully remember the drive. It's not that his mind was so focused on something else that made him fail to take in his surroundings, but rather that his mind wasn't even a part of his body anymore.

One moment he was pulling away from the Henderson residence, and the next, he was home, just standing in his kitchen in the dark. And now that his thoughts are back, or easier to process, he finds himself wondering why everyone thinks that he's going to be the one to hurt Eddie.

How many people has he hurt that this is his reputation? Is it inevitable that he will hurt Eddie? Is it truly just a matter of time until he breaks Eddies heart? Why is everyone so convinced that he will?

Briefly the thought occurs to him that maybe he should call up Eddie and break up with him right now, before Eddie has a chance to get in deep enough that Steve could break his heart, but just the thought of it breaks Steve's heart, so he's not going to do that. Doesn't want to do that. That would just be punishing Eddie for something he didn't do.

None of this is Eddie's fault, and Steve's an asshole for even thinking of breaking up with him because of it. Which feeds him back into the loop of thinking that maybe everyone is right about him. He is an asshole and will someday hurt Eddie, perhaps even on purpose.

He loves Eddie. He's in love with Eddie. But does loving him mean proving his friends wrong? Or does it mean leaving him before they're proven right?

He wants to ask everyone why they think he'll hurt Eddie.

He wants to ask everyone why they don't care if he's the one that gets hurt.

#steddie #my fic #we like making steve a sad emotional mess right guys?#steve-centric #we gotta make the boy Sad so that his boyfriend can fix him #is that healthy? not IRL but this is fanfic and if i want Love to solve all the problems then im allowed to do that #only itll be in part two #that might get written one day #is steve putting words into his friends' mouths #yeah duh the boy needs therapy but its the 80s so hes not getting any

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bingbongsupremacy · 9 months ago

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Marry Me?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x reader

Warning: I haven't seen criminal minds in a bit so idk if the Spencer in this is 100 percent accurate

Summary: Spencer asks you to marry him at the most random time. Garcia does not approve.

*Not Proof Read* ABC List Criminal Minds

◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇◇

" That's horrifying. " I wrinkle my nose at the sight of the bloody decapitated woman in the photos lying scattered around the table. This is why I work with Garcia.

Sticky notes are messily pasted onto the photos, illegible scribbles covering them.

" It is. " Spencer agrees.

" Why did you call me in here? " I ask, confused why my boyfriend called me in if he isn't going to expand further on the topic.

Spencer picks up a large Manila folder and shuffles through the contents. " I think I might have figured out the pattern we were looking for. " He pulls out a small stack of papers, each with the name of a high school in the corner. " The Unsub is killing girls from the same high school. Each girl attended the school at a different year. It's like he's going down the line of years. If I'm right, he'll been picking a girl from 2002 next. "

I scan over one of the papers he hands me. " Shit, you're right. " Excitement fills my body. We've been working on this for hours. He figured it out! " Spencer, this is fucking amazing! You figured it out! We need to tell the others. "

" Yes. I also think I might know who the next potential victim is based on other patterns I picked up along the way. " Spencer rambles on. " I think he might be going after Piper Johnson next, the woman we saw on the news interview. We need to check if she's okay. By the way, do you want to get married? "

His words come out so fast it takes me a second to process.

" W-What? " My eyes widen. Did I hear correctly?

Spencer is looking at me his gaze steady. He looks serious. " I know it's a little random, but this case really had me thinking. We don't know how much time we have together. God forbid one of us gets hurt or worse. I don't want to waste any more time with you. I love you and I want to be with you. I'd be the happiest man on earth if you said yes. "

For a moment I forget we're surrounded by gruesome shit. All I can think about is Spencer and our future. All of our plans.

A large smile makes its way onto my face. " Of course I will, Spence. I love you. " I smash my face into his, our lips meeting and immediately sending shivers through my body.

" I love you too, Y/N. So fucking much. " His voice rumbles against my lips.

" You did not just fucking ask Y/N to marry you in a room surrounded by dead women. Spencer, what the fuck. " A surprised voice interrupts us.

Surprised, Spencer and I pull apart to find the owner.

Garcia stares at us, her mouth hung open in surprise. " And you accepted his proposal? Are you insane? Don't get me wrong, you guys are perfect for each other. This proposal was just...so...gory. " She glances at the pictures around the room. " I'll help you plan out a real proposal, alright? Let's press pause on this until tonight. I'll have it all ready by the time you guys get back. " She says confidently, taking on the task we didn't ask her to do.

" It's really not that big of a deal- " I begin.

" It'll be done by tonight. " She says sternly, holding her hand up to stop any argument. " Now, you go let the others know what's going on with the unsub. " She points at me. " You are staying here with me while we set everything up. "

She gently pulls me towards the door, snatching the pack of information out of Spencer's hand.

" But-! "

She doesn't let me finish, swiftly kicking me out of the room.

Behind her, Spencer stand watching me in surprise.

Garcia shuts the door in my face, leaving me standing on the other side alone.

This day has been so confusing.

#fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #x you #x female reader #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x you #fem reader #female reader #reader insert #gn reader #gender neutral reader

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kari-sims · 4 months ago

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All the sims from my girl's only occult orphanage i posted recently. I've been making them for a while now, and i'm currently going through the arduous building of the massive place where they'll live, which i was not prepared for (´｡• ◡ •｡`) thanks sm for the support on them, i'm happy you guys liked them! Also special thanks to all the cc creators, who idk what i would be without ♡

added some details about them bellow if anyone's interested (it's a wee bit long).

Characters:

Headmaster

Ruby: Despite her stern appearance, she's a lovely person who just wants to motivate the girls into following their goals, since she didn't have the same treatment growing up as an orphan herself. She'll be doing some paranormal investigation on the side, apart from working on her music to support the orphanage. I will allow small monthly donations to the orphanage as well to help her out. Traits: snob / music lover / family oriented

Teens

Anastasia (fairy): While we don't have fairies (yet!), she'll be learning a variety of skills to max level until she's allowed to learn the art of spellcasting. I'm playing the reaper event with her, so she has a few skills already. Traits: paranoid / practice makes perfect.

Ophelia (vampire): She'll be following the good vampire aspiration because she randomized with the vegetarian trait, so it was only fitting. She doesn't want to waste her immortal years being a meanie who's hated by everybody. Traits: vegetarian / cheerful

Luana (werewolf): Will be following the werewolf aspiration so i can explore that pack better, still unsure what her path will be, but i guess it's fun not knowing. Traits: loyal / lazy

Pre-teens

Bug (zombie): Didn't know what i was going to do with her, until my brother told me to do the strangerville mystery, and i thought it was sooo perfect! Traits: goofball / erratic

Hannah (spellcaster): Making her made me a little bit scared, so of course she'll be an untamed witch following the spellcaster aspiration to be a master of evil someday. Traits: hot-headed / evil

Sky (ghost): Died by lightening while saving a snake during a storm one night, and now they're bound forever. I'm still unsure what she'll do, but she'll work on finding a way to either enjoy her death or come back to life. If i get the new EP someday then i might explore it with her, but for now i'm okay having her roaming around. Traits: animal enthusiast / gloomy

Children:

Aloe (plant sim): I'll be checking out the new expanded plantsims mod with her, which is something i've been wanting to check for a while, it looks so fun! Trait: loves outdoors

Vera (elf): Don't know what i'll be doing with her, but, while i figure that out, she'll be doing all the base game aspirations since i haven't done that before, and being a companion in her plant sim friend's journey. Trait: genius

They'll each be doing their own thing while i explore the packs/mods, and i'll try to focus on only one of them for each sim day until they complete their goals and get adopted/moved out. Oh, and aging will be off, cause i don't want to stress myself. I really want to post some gameplay pics of them with no dialogue probably. I'm not a storyteller, so don't expect much 😅 it'll be just for memory keeping. Thanks if you read all this! This was more of a way for me to keep track of things too if i'm being honest.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4 edit #my sims #simblr #occult girls orphanage #toughest thing will be coming up with a name for the place ;_;

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nerdallwritey · 4 months ago

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Worth the Peril

Summary: In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian. Despite Karlach’s cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it. And right now, he was entering a rage. OR Upon arriving in the Underdark, you go down in a battle, leaving Astarion to pick up the pieces.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ (no smut) Word count: 15.1k CW: reader gets hurt - violence, severe injury, blood, descriptions of wound, depictions of pain, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, protective Astarion, blind with rage Astarion, soft Astarion, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), everyone else sees what Astarion can't Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.) Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 5 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find the masterlist here.

a/n: SHE'S HERE!! I am SO excited to be finally be posting the newest chapter of Beauty and the Bard! Thank you so much for your patience as I was sorting this one out. I've always been a huge fan of the hurt/comfort trope and the "Person A gets hurt and Person B loses it" trope, so this is my take on both of those tropes in one! Did I fudge the numbers of the Duergar fight in the Underdark from Act One? Yes. Did I fudge the numbers in terms of injury severity and what's actually possible through magical healing? Also yes! But in a world where a skeleton will bring you back from the dead for $200, OR, simply sleeping a full eight hours will heal you completely, I think I was able to make it make sense. Hopefully. Apologies to anyone working in the medical field who knows I'm a sham. But this is a series about smooching a vampire, so we gotta suspend our disbelief somewhere! There's no smut in this chapter, and for that, I apologize, but it'll make sense why it doesn't. If it helps, my beta says that this is her favorite chapter to date! Woo! Please enjoy. (Thank you to my beta @kermitwazowski for reading! - Also! She just got married! And a tiktok from it went viral! We love her, she's the best.) As a reminder, last time, you and Astarion had a little romp in the river while watching the sunrise.

Taglist: Moved to the comment section, since tumblr hates sharing fun with friends - please let me know if you'd like to be added to the list!

Barring a few dirty looks from Shadowheart and Lae’zel, your return to camp with Astarion - both of you now vaguely damp - was largely ignored in favor of packing up camp in preparation for venturing into the Underdark. So long as you were both there to help with the pack up efforts, it didn’t really matter where the two of you had spent your morning.

Astarion squeezed your hand fondly before sauntering over to his tent to loiter and drag his feet until the camp was mostly all packed away. You knew his game; look busy without actually lifting a finger until it was absolutely necessary. You rolled your eyes before bending to gather and organize the loot in your tent. He was so annoying.

Gods, you hated him.

And you loved him.

Why, of all people, did you have to fall in love with the emotionally stunted, incredibly dramatic, freak weirdo vampire? Wyll was perfectly nice! Shadowheart had a good head on her shoulders! And yet…

Your eyes flicked over to his tent momentarily.

He wasn’t even trying. He was fully looking at his nails. He looked up briefly and met your eye. He smirked before moving his hand to wave at you delicately with his fingertips.

“Pack,” you called to him from across camp.

“What?” He cupped a hand to his ear as if he couldn’t hear you from the relatively short distance away. “You’ll have to speak up, darling! Or, better yet-”

He left his tent and made his way over to yours.

“Oooh, no,” you scolded and pointed towards his tent. “Get back over there and pack, you jackass.”

“Ouch, love,” Astarion squatted beside you. He looked around your tent at the trinkets you’d accumulated and picked one up, rotating it in his hands. A tiny statue of a mermaid, her face sculpted in midsong. “Heavy little bugger,” he said, testing its weight in his hands.

“It’s made of iron, I think,” you said.

“And you’re going to make us lug it into the Underdark? Rather selfish of you, don’t you think?”

You snatched the figure out of his hands. “Can I help you with something, Astarion?”

He spread out his legs and leaned back against a chest you kept close-by. “Not particularly.” He rested his arms behind his head, very clearly trying to flex his arms to keep your attention on him.

You laughed and pushed him, making him fall sideways. “Stop trying to distract me and go pack your own stuff up. I will not help you when you’re inevitably scrambling later.”

“Yes, you will,” he said, using your shoulder to help himself stand up. He squeezed it once before heading back in the direction of his tent.

“No, I won’t!” you called after him, but he turned and cupped his hand to his ear again, pretending he couldn’t hear you. You groaned loudly and continued packing.

“Hate to say it, Soldier,” said Karlach, whose tent was set up between yours and Astarion’s, “but you probably will help him.”

You sighed heavily. “I know.”

~~~~~

It hadn’t been as bad as you thought.

You’d had the foresight to keep your belongings relatively close together, making use of the traveler’s chest you all shared. Once you’d gathered all your possessions and dismantled your tent, you placed everything you couldn’t carry on your person into the chest. Karlach had helped Halsin lift the trunk, full to the brim with everyone’s overflow, into an ox wagon that you all planned on taking with you to the ruined goblin camp and down into the Underdark below. Even Astarion had managed to gather most of his things before inevitably earning your help with a bat of his eyes.

It had taken maybe two hours total, but looking around the area that you had called home for the last few weeks, it was as if your party had never been there to begin with. It was a little sad to be leaving, but you were pleased with the progress you all had made and were ready to keep moving forward in order to get these damn worms out of your skulls.

The trek into the Underdark, meanwhile, was long and frustrating; Gale had to cast Feather Fall on half of your team, the ox cart, and Scratch and the Owlbear cub, while the other half of you used the deceptively long ladder down into the abandoned Selunite outpost below - much to Shadowheart’s dismay.

Much to Astarion’s dismay, you’d actually stumbled upon a colony of Miconids after bumbling through a battle with a pair of minotaurs and looking for a place to rest. It was there that you spoke with the head of their colony, Sovereign Spaw, about eliminating a clan of Duergar dwarves threatening their population.

Which was how you now found yourself smugly walking beside Astarion as Gale and Shadowheart led the way towards the supposed Duergar hideout. The rest of your party had (begrudgingly, in the case of Lae’zel) agreed to help Halsin set up camp close to the Miconids and their beautiful glowing mushrooms, and had stayed behind.

“You must wipe that stupid expression off your face, darling,” Astarion rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Otherwise you might get stuck like that.”

“I told you they were real.” You waggled your eyebrows in victory.

“And their music was far less irritating than yours,” he teased. “So I suppose that was nice.”

“Bastard,” you muttered. “I’d love to play something with them when we get back.”

“You would.”

“Ass hat.”

“Loud mouth.”

“Would you two shut it?” Gale turned and quietly shouted. “We’re swiftly approaching the Duergar clan, according to Sovereign Spaw’s directions.”

“I still think we should have rested for the evening,” Astarion complained. “A specimen such as myself requires copious amounts of beauty sleep.”

You withheld a yawn, willing the vampire not to see it. You were still tired from your lack of sleep this morning, and your romp in the river. Not to mention the hike to get down here, and the minotaurs you’d already faced. You were able to get a short rest in at the colony, but you were definitely feeling it, and you didn��t want to worry your teammates. Plus you knew Astarion would never let you hear the end of it, given his protests about it earlier today.

“Enough, Astarion,” Shadowheart groaned. “You heard Spaw; the Duergar are a looming threat to their colony. We couldn’t risk a possible ambush in the night. Especially with all the refugees seeking shelter there.”

Astarion sighed. “And, I suppose I must admit, I like the sovereign’s approach. A little genocidal, but effective.”

“Yes, great, you’ll get your fill of blood, now would you hush!” Gale halted, causing the rest of you to stop, too. “Something’s wrong.”

You surveyed your surroundings. Wooden structures stood decaying all around, from bridges, to long forgotten buildings, and nets once used for ladders. It had probably been home to a village of people at one time.

“Looks abandoned,” you supplied.

Off in the distance you could make out a lake through some fog. Boats rocked gently against a worn looking dock, illuminated by purple crystals that populated the area. That must be the lake that Spaw had described. But wait… were those-? Lit torches?

You were about to take a step forward to investigate further, but Astarion held out an arm to block you.

“I smell a trap,” he warned.

Suddenly an arrow shot past your ear and landed in a wooden post behind you.

“That’s quite a sense of smell you have,” Gale quipped, prepping a spell in his hands. “Think you could sniff out where that arrow came from?”

Your eyes frantically searched the area but couldn’t make anything out.

“Duck!” Shadowheart shouted, as a flaming arrow seemed to appear out of thin air and hurdle towards your party.

You hit the deck, lifting your head ever so slightly in the direction where the arrow came flying from. A figure appeared out of nowhere as you watched, taking a step to the side to hide behind a wall. That explained it.

“Our attackers are using an Invisibility spell,” you said quietly. “If we can get them to attack us, we can break the spell and see them clearly before they have the chance to cast it again.”

“Sounds fairly dangerous,” Gale muttered, holding a hand to his chin in thought.

“Do you have any better ideas?” Shadowheart whispered, pulling her shield and morning star off of her back.

“Not really,” Gale said after thinking for a moment.

Astarion, meanwhile, had already unsheathed his daggers. “Let’s spill some blood.” A wicked grin graced his features.

“Let’s think about this for a second,” you said, holding out an arm to block him from getting up and feeling him deflate. You peered around the large rock that you and your companions had ducked behind. Platforms were littered throughout the decrepit village, perfect for you all to spread out. Quietly, you removed your lute and your backpack.

“Now’s not really the time to serenade us with a sappy love song, dearest,” Astarion said, his eyes on your loose lute that he’d recently gifted you.

“Shut up, and take this,” you said, handing him a scroll of Misty Step that you pulled out of your bag. You handed one to Shadowheart as well. “Gale, how are you doing on magic?”

Gale flexed his hands, the purple of the Weave sparking at his fingertips. “Good enough to take out a few dwarves, I’d say. But I have my crossbow if necessary.”

You nodded and turned to Shadowheart. “You?”

She nodded back at you. “I should have enough for some healing if anyone needs it, but I’ll stick to cantrips if I can.”

You nodded again, thinking deeply. “Okay, our magic is running kind of low, so we have to be smart about this.”

Astarion cleared his throat. “Aren’t you going to ask me about my magic, darling?”

Shadowheart laughed humorlessly. “Oh, please. As if you won’t rely entirely on those knives of yours.”

He scoffed. “I’ll have you know, I’m also very skilled with a bow.”

You sighed. “I’m sorry we couldn’t rest more before we had to do this.”

“The life of a hero is not an easy one,” Gale pointed out. “One cannot always put their feet up by the hearth when lives are at stake.”

“Speak for yourself,” Astarion rolled his eyes.

“What’s the plan?” Shadowheart asked you. “We might want to hurry, given they know our location and we don’t know theirs.”

“I was thinking we all cast Misty Step,” you turned back around to look over the boulder and pointed to the various empty structures, “and land on those platforms.”

“Ah, the high ground! Very logical,” Gale nodded in approval.

“But do we want to be out in the open? They’ll shoot at us and we won’t have any cover.” Shadowheart raised a good point.

“I’ll cause a distraction,” you said, “no worries.”

Astarion clicked his tongue. “I hate the sound of that.”

“What do you mean?! I’m great at distractions!”

Rather than responding, Astarion hummed skeptically. Then he leaned forward to kiss you sweetly. “I’m going to go kill some dwarves now.” With that, he unfurled the scroll, recited “inveniam viam,” and you watched as he disappeared and reappeared on a platform hidden in darkness. You lost sight of him as he vanished into the shadows and turned back to face Gale and Shadowheart.

“Be smart with your magic, and be safe.” Both of them nodded wordlessly at you and prepared to cast Misty Step. You picked up your lute and stood up straight. “See you on the other side,” you winked and started descending down a hill towards your hidden enemies.

Strumming a quiet tune, you created a Minor Illusion around yourself to look like a traveling musician, rather than an armored spellcaster. You slung your lute back around onto your back.

“Sorry!” you called, holding your hands up above your head as if in surrender. You spotted an armored dwarf on a wooden walkway up ahead, currently visible, and walked towards him. “So sorry!”

“What?” The dwarf looked surprised by your unarmed approach. “Gehk! Got someone sneaking up on us!”

“No!” you assured. “My band mates and I,” you pointed your thumb over your shoulder towards the area where you’d been spotted with your companions, “we got a little turned around. See, we thought there might be a secluded place down here to practice for our upcoming gig, and well, we didn’t know you were already here, and-”

“Too loud, sun-scum,” came a voice from above you. You looked up to see another Duergar on a platform overhead. He wore an amulet of the Absolute and had a large battle axe strapped to his back. “Could hear you and your mates stumbling. Can hear you blinking.”

“That seems unlikely,” you muttered. Your eyes wandered around, pretending to look for more dwarves in the area, but really checking to make sure your companions were in position.

“Noise gets you eaten down here,” the dwarf with the amulet went on. “Reckon I’ll hush you before something hungry comes along.”

“You’d hurt an unarmed musician?” You held your hands up higher.

The dwarf above you barked out a laugh. “Nice try, bard.” He spat the word. “Saw you lot from a mile away. Your little disguise is pitiful.”

Something seemed off. You felt a chill run down your spine as something brushed against you. The illusion of your plain clothes fell away, revealing your armor. You had a feeling your invisible foes had you surrounded.

“Now,” said the dwarf, “where are your little friends hiding?”

You laughed. “I was just going to ask! Why would you all surround me when my little friends are over there?” You nodded your head towards one of the platforms.

The dwarf’s eyes widened as he spotted Shadowheart, whose hands were poised with a Firebolt spell. “They’re up there!” Before the dwarf could point, an arrow pierced through his shoulder from behind, knocking him forward off the platform. You sidestepped his falling body and made eye contact with Astarion who smirked down at you.

“Attack!” The first dwarf you spoke to shouted, and all hell broke loose.

Light surrounded you as Shadowheart cast Bless, and you were able to out-maneuver the dwarf who’d yelled as the light momentarily blinded him. Arrows flew towards Astarion, who’d been the first to shoot, and with those arrows, multiple dwarves’ Invisibility spells broke. Astarion was able to easily dodge and avoid the onslaught of attacks, thanks to the advantage of being on higher ground. You grabbed your lute and cast Shatter, causing the dwarves around you to fly backwards in a wave of thunder. Gale launched fiery arrows at your foes, and Shadowheart summoned a Spiritual Weapon to fight for you all on the ground below.

“You’re here because of those rotflowers, aren’t you?” The dwarf with the Absolute pendant got to his feet and pulled the arrow out of his shoulder. “You reek of justice and good deeds.”

“Funny,” you said, using the pommel of your rapier to push a now visible dwarf off the platform you were on, “and I just took a bath this morning.”

“Would you classify that as a bath?” Astarion called down to you, mischief in his eyes.

You smiled, but could already feel yourself starting to lose steam, even though the battle had just started. Still, you pressed on and cast another Shatter, scattering your enemies further and buying you some time to catch your breath. “And what would you classify it as?”

“I can think of many things, but we’re in such polite company, I shan’t say.” He shot a flaming arrow down onto the beach and hit multiple dwarves at once in the explosion.

“I don’t like whatever’s happening here,” the dwarf with the Absolute amulet said. “But I’ll make you pay for siding with those mushroom abominations.” The dwarf raised his hands and uttered a spell you didn't recognize, but a cacophony of noise from below caught your attention. The lapse in focus cost you, as one of the dwarves you’d been fending off pushed you off the platform.

You heard your companions yell your name as you landed hard in the sand below. It took you a second to regain your bearings before you realized what the sound had been. Fallen Duergar were now rising, life not returning to their eyes, but risen all the same.

Animate Dead.

You’d heard of this spell; had seen it in action with Mayrina’s husband, Connor. But you had yet to see it used in battle.

Now you were surrounded by undead dwarves, hell bent on tearing you apart.

“Hi,” was all you could manage through the spinning of your head. You blinked a few times before blocking the heavy strike of an axe with your slim rapier. When it was clear that the axe was going to prevail, you rolled out of the way and the axe connected with the sand that had been beneath your head.

“Are you alright?” Shadowheart called after hitting you with a Healing Word.

You squared your shoulders and entered into a fighting stance. “Better now, thanks!” While it was true, you were still exhausted and could feel your magic actively getting weaker. You’d have to remind yourself to get a sturdier sword after this battle. You heard a clang as Shadowheart’s Spiritual Weapon was destroyed by a few zombies that now turned their attention on you.

“Hardly the place, darling,” Astarion called, downing one of the zombies in front of you with an arrow of ice. “Dying down here? Embarrassing.”

“Stop talking and help her kill the bloody things!” Gale yelled, still slinging spells and arrows at the dwarves from up on the platforms.

The undead kept rushing at you, and you were able to keep them at bay with brandishes of your rapier and weaker casts of Thunderwave, but it was getting harder and harder to fight back. Meanwhile, living dwarves had made it to the other platforms and started climbing up to your companions. Astarion’s help began to dwindle as his attention was split between you and the dwarves he had to face head on with his daggers. You could hear less and less of Gale’s magic as he opted fully for his crossbow, especially now with dwarves attempting to climb up to him. Shadowheart was facing the same obstacles, instead swinging her morningstar and shoving her shield to throw dwarves from the platform.

“Guys,” you said, not as loudly as you would have hoped. There was too much going on. Even if you did manage to raise your voice, it would be hard to hear you over the sounds of fire arrows and spells.

“Guys,” you tried again but to no avail. You cast a small Cure Wounds on yourself, but instantly regretted it. You could have saved that spell for an offensive attack, and now you felt yourself completely depleted of magic, despite trying your best to use it sparingly. Which was difficult when you were surrounded by enemies and your companions were occupied with their own battles. You were just one person. This was too much.

The undead dwarves still standing were backing you up against a cluster of boulders in the center of the beach.

This was okay. You were fine! You’d been in tough spots before and you and your team had always come out on top. You could do this. Undead dwarves? Pah! What kind of lethal damage could someone with dead muscle inflict, right? Sure, Astarion was undead and he was a vicious killer, but that was Astarion, and these dwarves had just been resurrected. They were just getting their sea legs! Life…. legs? It didn’t matter. They probably couldn’t even think for themselves. You could handle this.

With a boost of confidence from your mental pep talk, you surged forward, away from the center of the beach, and stabbed a zombie through the chest. The visceral sound of metal entering flesh was loud and oddly satisfying.

“Ah ha!” you shouted as the zombie slumped to the ground.

But the stab had been louder than your slim blade should have been able to muster. You pulled the blade out of the slumped zombie to inspect, but upon looking down, you saw silver glinting with red through your midsection.

Another zombie had come up behind you and cleaved you with his axe. The head of it peaked out through your stomach.

You heard your name roared from somewhere up above.

The metallic taste of your own blood rushed into your mouth as your vision started to blur. You fell to your knees.

“Guys,” you said one more time.

Then everything went black.

~~~~~

In another life, Astarion would have made a decent barbarian.

Despite Karlach’s cheerful demeanor, for the most part, barbarians were known to be violent, brutal, and cruel. All things that Astarion could easily tap into if the situation called for it.

And right now, he was entering a rage.

Red.

That was all he saw.

Red, and the corpses of the dwarves who dared cross his path on his way down to you.

He hadn’t witnessed it.

Had been too caught up in his own hacking and slashing to see the moment when the axe had made its way through your torso. But he had smelled it. Instantly, he had recognized the sweet notes of your blood entering the air. That’s when he’d looked down and saw the state of you. He’d screamed your name, far louder than any of the magic and explosions that were still triggering in the fight.

Shadowheart and Gale’s heads snapped down to look at you, terror in their eyes. And yet they still had to fight. The zombies surrounding your unconscious form began to move away from you and up towards them instead.

Astarion downed dwarves left and right, going overboard in his violence on the warpath to get you into his arms.

“Shadowheart!” he yelled, as if she wasn’t already aware of the situation.

“I know!” she shouted back. “I can try a Healing Word but my magic’s nearly spent!”

“Do it! NOW!” Astarion bellowed as he sliced through the abdomen of a dwarf preparing to fire a spell. He heard a chant of “te curo,” followed by the aqua magic that usually came with a healing spell, but you remained motionless in the sand.

“The wound is too deep and my magic isn’t strong enough!” Shadowheart slung her morning star into the head of a Duergar that had successfully climbed up to her platform.

Gale looked over to Shadowheart and the two shared a brief, silent conversation before Gale nodded and Misty Stepped down to you.

“Don’t you touch her, wizard!” Astarion yelled as he fought his way through what once must have been a house of some kind. “Unless you can bring her back up!” His daggers stabbed through the Duergar with the Absolute amulet; the one who’d raised those dead in the first place. Astarion made sure his death was extra painful with each twist of his knives.

“Be reasonable, Astarion!” Gale yelled back and shot an arrow at one of the zombies still slinking across the beach. He bent and attempted to get you to swallow some healing potion. You’d already lost a lot of blood.

“She’s DYING!” Astarion bellowed before jumping down, out of the house, and down onto the beach. He made a sound of pain as he landed, but stumbled as quickly as he could over to you on his hands and knees.

Before he reached you, however, he spotted an unarmed zombie halfway up a ladder. That must have been the vile creature whose blade was still lodged in you. He made a beeline for the abomination and pulled it down with enough force to rip the rope that made up the ladder it was climbing. His blades were entering the zombie repeatedly before he even realized he’d pinned it to the ground. It stopped moving fairly soon after its first stab wound, but Astarion wouldn’t let up.

“It’s dead, Astarion!” Gale said, trying to bring him back to reality. “Truly dead!”

Astarion finally stopped and breathed heavily. He abandoned the corpse and made his way over to you, sinking to his knees.

“You’re okay,” he cooed. “Help is here.” He gently pulled you into his lap, careful not to touch the axe head. “I’ve got you.”

“She’s still alive,” Gale confirmed. “I gave her some healing potion and checked her pulse.”

Astarion wasn’t listening. He rocked back and forth, wiping matted hair out of your face. “Darling,” he said quietly, “you’re too pretty to die. And look at all the precious blood you’ve wasted.” You shifted a little and he paused.

Your eyes opened briefly. When you realized it was Astarion looking down at you, you smiled.

“Hi,” you said weakly.

Astarion laughed, but it was a choked, mangled thing. “Hello, my love.”

“That hurt,” you said, smiling blearily until your eyes closed again. He brought his forehead lightly to yours.

Gale touched his shoulder. “Take her to Halsin. He’ll be able to help more than any of us at the moment.”

Astarion wanted to argue, but knew that Gale was probably right. Annoying bastard.

“Help me, would you?” He made to stand up and Gale moved to help guide you gently into Astrion’s arms as he stood. The axe rested uncomfortably between the two of you, but Astarion knew better than to try and pull it out without the proper healing implements nearby to stop the bleeding.

“We’ll be fine here,” Gale said, shooting another arrow at a dwarf on his way to Shadowheart. “You cleared most of the sorry mongrels just now, anyway.”

“I don’t recall asking,” Astarion snapped, readjusting how he was holding you.

“Only trying to help,” Gale said sharply. “None of us want to see her suffer.”

Astarion sighed. “I know,” he admitted.

Gale placed a hand on his shoulder again. “Proprae,” he said, and warm magic surrounded Astarion. “Longstrider,” Gale explained. “It’ll get you to Halsin faster. Now go.”

Astarion nodded and took off back towards the Myconid colony.

“You just had to play hero, didn’t you?” He didn’t look down at you as he sidestepped purple crystals and wayward wooden planks. “Couldn’t stay back for once and let someone else handle it.”

You coughed a little and peered up at him. “I do it for the glory,” you wheezed with a joking smile.

Astarion’s eyes flicked to you for a second. “There are better ways to get attention, darling.” He smiled despite himself. “Now stop talking, please. Save that strength.”

Rather than argue further, you closed your eyes again and nuzzled your face into his neck. You were so tired. And cold. Numbness had overtaken your body except for a dull ache in your midsection. You didn’t even realize when you slipped away again.

Astarion felt you go slightly more limp and swore, dodging exploding mushrooms and trying to remember the way back to the Myconids.

“Don’t you dare leave me,” he growled. “Not now. Not you.” He refused to shed a tear. You’d be okay, and then he’d have words with you about your pesky bleeding heart.

Speaking of bleeding, he didn’t like how easily he could smell your blood. Usually he’d be thrilled to be surrounded by such an intoxicating aroma, but right now it was making him sick to his stomach.

“Do you know how selfish you are?” he asked, knowing you wouldn’t respond. “Wasting all this blood. Some of us need a proper meal.”

He hated your silence. Hated that you weren’t strong enough to tell him he could feed from you if he wanted because of course you would. Or maybe you’d come up with some sort of jab about him being selfish for thinking about food at a time like this. He missed your voice.

“How dare you scare me like this, you stubborn clod.”

In the distance, he saw the glowing mushrooms of the colony. He ducked his head and willed himself to run even faster.

“Where are they?!” Astarion shouted to a mushroom sentry at the entrance. The Myconid remained stoic, but flashed a somber song through Astarion’s mind. “Not helpful!” he shouted as he ran up the steps.

There! That halfling woman who’d asked you all to find her bumbling husband.

“You!” he yelled, his eyes wild. “The group I was traveling with! Where did they go?!”

The halfling woman fumbled for words, shocked at the bloody sight of you before her.

“Tell me!” he exclaimed.

“I believe they found a clearing not far off. The druid came by earlier to swap herbs.”

Astarion didn’t respond before booking it again, the Myconids singing a mournful ballad to him as he passed them.

“HALSIN!” he screamed when he left through the other entrance of the colony. “WYLL! KARLACH! LAE’ZEL! YOU BLASTED WHELPS, WHERE ARE YOU?!” He kept running, following along a path of glowing mushrooms.

“Astarion?” It was Wyll.

“WHERE ARE YOU?!” Astarion repeated, recalibrating to run towards the sound of his voice.

“OVER HERE!” Karlach shouted, and Astarion saw Scratch appear from around a corner a short distance away, followed closely by Karlach. Wyll and Lae’zel caught up behind them.

“Dear gods,” Wyll murmured before running into camp and creating a space for you.

“I’ll get Halsin!” Karlach turned and ran.

“Kaincha,” Lae’zel breathed as Astarion passed her.

“Lay her here,” Wyll said, having prepped a bedroll next to the fire.

“Like hells is she going on the bloody ground,” Astarion hissed, looking around for something more comfortable. “Grab my pillows,” he nodded from Wyll to the ox cart.

Wyll nodded and ran to the cart before coming back and beginning to fashion a makeshift mattress.

Lae’zel looked around for Gale and Shadowheart. “Where are the others?”

“Damned Duergars. They’re in a rotting village by the lake southwest of here.”

“I shall avenge our fallen,” she nodded before running to her tent, grabbing her greatsword and taking off in the direction Astarion had come in from.

“She’s not dead yet,” Astarion muttered as Halsin and Karlach entered the space frantically. “There you are!” He addressed Halsin icily. He had yet to put you down.

Halsin ignored Astarion in favor of approaching you and assessing the damage. He held multiple bowls and jars of unknown substances, and his face gave nothing away. “Bring her this way,” he said, motioning for Astarion to follow him. Halsin led him to a giant mushroom cap. “Lay her down here.” He set down the materials he was holding nearby.

“On a damn mushroom? You must be joking.” Astarion held you tighter.

“Astarion,” Halsin said gently, “I’m going to help her. You have to trust me.”

Astarion narrowed his eyes and reassessed the mushroom. It did look soft, and big enough for your whole body to spread out on. He looked at Halsin again who remained calm and collected. Astarion nodded.

Halsin nodded back and helped him untangle you from his arms. “We’re going to lay her on her side,” he instructed, and Astarion did his best to roll you gently onto the mushroom cap.

“How can we help?” Wyll asked, making Astarion jump. He’d forgotten about anyone outside of his current line of sight.

“Fetch my pack, if you would, Wyll,” Halsin said.

Wyll nodded and ran towards Halsin’s tent on the other side of camp.

“And me?” Karlach asked.

“Can you heat up some water?”

“You got it,” she said before rushing to grab a bucket.

Halsin held out his hand, golden magic emitting from his palm. He closed his eyes and hovered his hand up and down your body.

“Well?” Astarion asked impatiently.

Halsin opened his eyes and Astarion caught a flash of panic in them.

No.

“We need to get this axe out as soon as possible,” Halsin explained. “She’s going to lose more blood, but you were right to leave it in on the battlefield.”

It was then that Wyll came back, lugging Halsin’s backpack, along with other supplies he deemed might be useful.

“So get it out and heal her!” Astarion exclaimed.

“I’ll do my best, Astarion, but you’ll have to be patient.”

“Where’s Withers?” Astarion looked around but caught no glimpse of the skeleton.

“He said he’d find us once we’re settled,” Wyll reminded him kindly.

“If we lose her and he can’t bring her back, I’m ending him.” Astarion knew how unlikely it was that he’d be able to kill someone who brought people back from the dead for a living (why Withers needed a living in the first place was still a mystery), but he needed someone to threaten. He was terrified.

“Astarion,” Halsin said, “I’ll need you to help me remove her clothes. Wyll, can you prepare some bandages?”

Wyll nodded and began to gather materials from Halsin’s bag.

Astarion hesitated before unsheathing his daggers to help cut the leather armor off of your body. Halsin helped maneuver your limbs out of it until you were left in what once was a white shirt, now a deep red around your midsection.

“Her shirt as well,” Halsin said. “Your skill with a knife is far more refined than mine.”

Astarion frowned, knowing you’d probably hate being shirtless in front of everyone, but shook off the thought in favor of helping Halsin heal you. He quickly and carefully cut your shirt away from your body, depositing it on another mushroom nearby, and leaving you in nothing but your undergarments. The gash in your back was brutal, and rather than stare at it, Astarion took your hand. It was growing cold, but he could sense your blood still pumping beneath your skin.

“She’s so weak,” he murmured.

“She’s a fighter,” Halsin put a hand on Astarion’s shoulder before moving to mix some sort of elixir he had in one of the bowls he’d brought over. “My magic isn’t strong enough to heal her all by itself, not completely, but Oak Father willing, she’ll make it through this.”

“She better,” Astarion growled, still holding your hand, squeezing it harder than he knew he should.

Halsin smiled faintly, then moved around to your head. He tipped your head back and made you swallow the contents of the bowl he’d just been mixing.

“And what-”

“That should keep her from waking up right away.” Halsin came back to stand behind you and examined the state of the axe.

“So, she won’t feel any pain?” Astarion asked.

“She shouldn’t.”

“Okay,” was all Astarion could manage to say, hoping that was enough to convey his gratitude to the druid.

Halsin nodded and motioned for Astarion to hold you in place. “Wyll, can you help with this?”

“Of course,” Wyll moved around the mushroom to hold you from the other side.

“I’m going to remove the axe,” Halsin said. “She’s going to bleed more, but I should be able to stop it with what I’ve brought with me.”

“Enough talking,” Astarion held you tight. “Get to the healing part already!”

Halsin frowned, but nodded. “Steady now,” he said, placing his hands on the wooden handle of the axe. “Ready?”

“Yes!” Astarion snapped.

Halsin let out a calming breath before pulling on the axe. Everyone held their breath to make sure you didn’t cry out in pain. When you didn’t, Halsin continued, taking the blade out in one smooth motion.

As he’d said, you began bleeding more profusely and Astarion let out a pathetic whining sound. Halsin immediately held out his hands, aqua healing magic surrounding you from both sides. Astarion couldn’t look away as your skin knit itself back together, a clear scar forming in its wake.

The aqua magic faded and Halsin instantly dipped his hand in some sort of salve and began rubbing it along your back.

“Wyll,” Halsin said, handing him a bowl with an identical salve. “Please cover the wound on her stomach with this.”

“I’ll do it,” Astarion said, moving around the mushroom to your front. Wyll handed him the salve and he went to work spreading a generous amount along your stomach.

“Sorry,” said Karlach, running up with a steaming bucket of water. “I was looking for where we packed all our towels.” She held up a few. “I found them.”

“Thank you, Karlach,” Halsin said. “We can start cleaning the area around her wounds.”

Karlach bounced on her feet. “Um… I’ll incinerate her if I try to help with that.”

“I know what you can do,” Astarion said flatly, focusing deeply on globbing enough salve onto your stomach. He lifted his head and nodded towards the axe on the ground behind Halsin. “You can destroy that wretched blade.”

Karlach smiled and cracked her knuckles. “I’ll make it wish it was never fucking born.”

“Blades aren’t born, Karlach,” Wyll said, wiping blood away from your skin with the warm water she provided.

“And yet, this one will die a fiery death,” she smirked, flaring her flames menacingly. She took off, presumably to be as hot as she pleased without endangering others.

“Can one of you help me sit her upright?” Halsin addressed the two men still tending to you.

“Sure,” Astarion said, noticeably calmer now that you weren’t actively bleeding. “How are her, um… her innards?”

Halsin smiled. “If you’re referring to internal bleeding, the potion I gave her and the spell I cast should be enough to have stopped it. But she’s still very fragile. I’d imagine it will take her some time to fully recover.” He once again held out his hand and cast a golden spell from his palm like he had earlier. “Yes, the internal bleeding has stopped. Though I’d suggest not giving into any carnal desires until she’s completely healed.”

“Carnal- I don’t want to have sex with her like this!” Astarion looked offended. “Who do you take me for?”

Halsin chuckled. “I didn’t think you would, but it still needed to be said.”

“Of all the-” Astarion narrowed his eyes but didn’t finish the thought. “You needed help getting her upright?”

“Yes, she’ll need to be bandaged up. It’s possible she’ll bleed again depending on her movements in her sleep and various other factors, but she’ll also need to keep reapplying fresh salves to prevent infection and minimize scarring.”

Astarion nodded as Wyll finished washing away most of the blood on your back.

“Let’s lie her on her back first,” Halsin said.

Astarion and Wyll helped to gently roll you onto your back, and Halsin helped sit you up straight. Astarion came up quickly to place a gentle hand on your chest and another on your back to keep you upright as Halsin began to wrap bandages around your torso.

Though your head was tipped forward in your unconscious state, Astarion whispered encouragements in your ear that Halsin and Wyll politely pretended not to hear.

“You’re going to be okay, my love. Soon I’ll get to look into your pretty eyes again and hear your lovely voice. Everything is going to be okay.”

~~~~~

Everything is going to be okay.

How could that be true when you were drowning?

Surrounded by inky blackness. Floating through nothingness.

Your limbs were heavy. And more than anything, you were tired. So, so tired.

You’d messed up. You’d allowed yourself to fight, even though you knew you weren’t at your best, just because you didn’t want your friends to be upset. Right? They had been people you cared about? And now the last thing you remembered was being curled into someone’s side as they ran, presumably, to find help.

Idiot.

You were an idiot.

The person had looked so scared.

This was all your fault. You hated being the one to cause a problem. You had to be good. You had to do everything right so no one would have to worry about you.

The person who’d held you so close and protectively shouldn’t have to worry about you.

Whoever they were.

You vaguely remembered saying something to them, but you couldn’t recall what it was or why you’d said it. You faintly remember making them snicker, at least.

You’re doing so well, darling. Hang in there.

It didn’t feel like you were doing so well. And yet the words filled you with comfort. Somewhere, a thousand miles away, you felt someone squeezing your hand.

We’re going to move you now, but we’ll be gentle.

That was very kind of them. You were having trouble moving through this darkness.

Easy, now.

Was it possible to swim towards the voice? It sounded like it might be within reach, even though mere moments ago it had seemed incredibly distant and far-off.

You’ll be much more comfortable here, my love.

Though your head was filled with fog, something in your gut told you to go to the voice. You knew it was familiar, but you couldn’t make the connection. With all the strength you could muster, you kicked your legs as hard as you could and pulled yourself along with your arms.

Don’t worry, my sweet, I’m not going anywhere.

Thank you, you wanted to say, but you couldn’t quite grasp the words.

Try as you might to swim towards the voice, it remained just out of reach, a wall of pain shooting through your abdomen whenever you got too close.

I’m here, you tried to tell the voice. I can’t reach you.

Sleep now.

It hurts.

I’ll be here when you’re ready.

Please.

~~~~~

Your sleep was fitful. It had taken about an hour before you’d started thrashing unconsciously and moaning in pain.

“Something’s wrong,” Astarion called, emerging from your tent.

He and the others had moved you onto the makeshift mattress Wyll had created, and built your tent around you, next to Astarion’s. Or what would be Astarion’s; he had yet to set up his space, having spent all his time at camp so far by your side.

Shadowheart, Gale, and Lae’zel had arrived at camp about half an hour after Astarion had rushed in with your unconscious form, all three covered in generous amounts of blood and gore. They had immediately asked after the state of you and were pleased to see you bandaged and sleeping soundly.

Now, however, that wasn’t the case.

Halsin and Shadowheart were quick to check on you.

Shadowheart felt your forehead and frowned. “She’s burning up.”

“Likely fighting a possible infection,” Halsin hypothesized.

“Well, can anything be done?!” Astarion asked, taking his place next to you again and holding your hand in both of his.

Halsin watched him carefully. “Actually, your cooling touch may bring her some comfort, Astarion.” He looked to Shadowheart, who nodded slowly.

“She needs to cool down. I’ll fetch some cold water, but Halsin is correct. You may be exactly what she needs. But don’t let that go to your head.”

“Of course I’m exactly what she needs,” Astarion puffed his chest, “but it’s nice to hear that that’s true in more ways than one.”

Shadowheart rolled her eyes before leaving and muttering, “Why do I even bother?”

Astarion looked to Halsin. “She’ll be okay?”

Halsin smiled softly. “She’ll need water and nutrients to help fight the fever, but with you by her side, I presume she’ll be better in no time.”

“Right then, get out of here,” Astarion said, waving him away and looking slightly embarrassed.

Halsin chuckled. “I’ll prepare some food for her.”

“Yes, go bother someone else with your sappiness.”

Halsin paused in the entrance of your tent. “Being vulnerable is not a weakness, Astarion. It’s quite clear how much you love her, and that’s incredibly-.”

“You need to leave,” Astarion snapped and dropped your hand, physically shooing a laughing Halsin out of your tent. “Be useful, why don’t you?” he called after him coolly as Halsin made his way over to where Gale was preparing tonight’s meal. The vampire closed the flaps of your tent firmly.

Love?

He shook his head. He was worried about you, yes, but that was because he… cared about you. More than he cared about anyone else at this freakish camp. And that was… fine. It was fine that he cared about you because you cared about him, too. And that was important because caring meant safety and protection.

Which is why he’d been so panicked about finding help for you! Obviously! If you weren’t around to protect him, who would? Not Gale, that’s for sure. No, Astarion was looking out for you for purely selfish reasons.

Right?

You made a tiny sound of discomfort and he was by your side instantly, holding his hand to your forehead, and then pressing both of his palms to your cheeks. He felt your body sag and watched the features of your face relax a little.

“There, now,” he cooed. “Doesn’t that feel better?”

He paused and narrowed his eyes in thought.

That was troubling.

He refused to think any deeper on the subject. Instead, he undid all the straps and clasps of his armor, trying to be as quiet as possible as he removed it all, then placed it outside so it wouldn’t take up any of your space. Next, he rearranged some extra pillows that Wyll had brought by your tent to make a space where he could lie next to you. Once he’d done that, he removed his undershirt and laid next to you properly.

“Come here, my darling,” he said quietly, snuggling himself into your side. His body jolted reflexively at how hot your torso was, but quickly moved back into position and wrapped his arms around you as gently as he could. Your face scrunched in discomfort for a moment before settling into something akin to peace.

Astarion watched your chest rise and fall quietly, and let out a silent sigh of relief. One of his hands absently fiddled with the ends of your hair. You’d need a bath at some point. So would he, for that matter. You were both still covered in gore and filth, and some strands of your hair were bound together by enemy blood. Astarion didn’t much feel like licking it off of you or tasting their blood in any capacity, unless he could watch the life drain from their eyes as he drank them dry. But he’d hate every minute of it. He found your taste to be his favorite.

His favorite.

So, you were his favorite. Who cared! He knew it! Everyone at camp knew it! It didn’t need to be any deeper than that.

He exhaled through his nose. Being vulnerable was a weakness. Any of his siblings would tell you that. Show one shred of fragility towards anything and it would be torn away from you and exploited in any number of violent and cruel ways. He couldn’t let that happen to you.

“Can I come in?” Shadowheart’s voice was quiet, but loud enough to shake Astarion from his thoughts.

“Yes,” he answered.

She pulled back the flaps of the tent and paused, taking in the scene before her.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” she said slowly, entering the tent with a bucket of water and a few clean cloths.

“Not at all, I’m simply taking advantage of this furnace,” Astarion gestured up and down your body. “The Underdark gets so chilly at night. Who knew?”

“Uh huh,” Shadowheart nodded and felt your forehead before dipping a cloth into the water, wringing it out and placing it there. “You know,” she began, “and I hate saying this-”

“Do go on, then.”

“Ugh. I really hate saying this, but… she’s lucky to have you.”

“Shadowheart!” Astarion sounded quietly flabbergasted. “Do you mean it? Truly?” He was being overly dramatic and held a hand to his chest.

Shadowheart avoided his gaze and dipped another cloth in the water. “I just mean…” She sighed. “I just mean, you make her happy, in your own annoying way. Even before you both started-”

“Holding hands?” Astarion batted his eyelashes.

Shadowheart rolled her eyes, but continued. “I don’t need to tell you how lucky you are to have her because I think you know that, but… You make her laugh. You encourage her to fight better, you steal lutes for her… And… you get her to be selfish. Which, while I don’t agree with all of your selfish suggestions, does cause her to think of herself every once in a while. Something that’s quite hard for her, as she so competently displayed for us today when she didn’t tell us how tired she truly was.”

“She was a lost cause before I showed up.”

“Be serious for a moment, would you?” Shadowheart placed another cloth along your neck. “That’s something you both need to work on; being serious.” She held his gaze. “We almost lost her out there today. And I don’t think you’ve thought about what that would mean for you.”

“Of course I have,” Astarion snapped.

Shadowheart raised her eyebrows. “Our Lady of Loss teaches that-”

“Oh, don’t start with that,” Astarion said sharply. “She’s fine now. Or she will be, assuming you and the druid are correct in your assessment of her condition.”

“Pain is a part of life, Astarion.”

“Don’t say that to me,” he snapped. “You know nothing of my pain.”

Shadowheart dabbed another cold cloth across your arm that wasn’t currently cradled into Astarion’s torso. “I know that. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean?” He was aware that he was mildly flashing his fangs in warning.

She dabbed some cold water over your shoulders. “Don’t be afraid. That's all I mean.”

“And what the hells is that supposed to mean?” Astarion narrowed his eyes. “Afraid of what?”

“You care for her.”

“So what?”

“You’re aware of that?”

Astarion trilled his lips in disbelief. “Of course I’m aware of that.”

“Okay,” she turned her attention to wringing a cloth of excess water.

If his arms weren’t currently wrapped around you, Astarion would have pinched the bridge of his nose. “Shadowheart, if you’re trying to tell me something, just tell me.”

“You’re allowed to love her.”

Astarion felt himself recoil away from Shadowheart, but he still held onto you.

Shadowheart nodded calmly, searching his eyes. “We all see it. You haven’t known each other for long, but she’s changing you.”

Astarion gave her a sour expression but didn’t say anything to argue.

“She’s not what you expected, is she?”

“She-” he hesitated. “She’s not.” He looked at your slumbering face fondly.

“I don’t think she’s what any of us expected.”

Astarion nodded, quiet for a few moments. He was too tired to pretend he was uninterested. “It’s a wonder we all found her,” he brushed a stray hair from your face. “Or, rather, clung to her. And in some cases, attacked her. Or threatened to.”

“It is,” she laughed softly.

“Poor girl.”

Shadowheart smiled. “She saved me, up on the Nautiloid. She and Lae’zel broke me out of my pod. Though it was mostly her. Actually, it was all her.”

“That’s typical.”

Shadowheart laughed. “Very typical.” She shifted to face Astarion more directly. “We don’t know each other very well.”

“No.”

“And probably never will.”

“Fingers crossed.”

“But I know that you’re not the same person who held a knife to her throat a few weeks ago.”

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Well, I would.” Shadowheart gave him a piercing look. “A few weeks ago, you would have been fine letting her bleed out on that battlefield. You possibly would have laughed at the brutality of it. Or, you would have written it off as a fine dining experience. But the Astarion I’m looking at right now was ready to burn the entire world before he saw her suffer today.”

Astarion’s grip on you tightened minutely.

Shadowheart sighed. “I don’t like letting others get too close to me either. Partly because that is the way of Lady Shar, and partly because I’m afraid of forgetting. Or remembering. I’m not sure which is worse, truthfully.”

“What does that-”

“It doesn’t matter. My point is, our leader here makes me want to remember. Remember our times together, her kindness… And how she makes me feel.”

“Careful…” Astarion said slowly, narrowing his eyes but smiling slightly.

“She might be the only person I’ve ever considered to be a true friend. I think. But I know she’d do anything for any of us. And I want to remember that.”

“Okay, so commit it to memory?” Astarion was confused about all the talk of remembering. Surely Shadowheart’s memory wasn’t that bad.

“I’ll try,” she chuckled. Then, after a moment of quiet, she inhaled deeply. “All of this to say, Astarion,” she looked him in the eye again, “heartbreak is also a part of life. And while we’re lucky she’s still with us, you shouldn’t be afraid to love her. I think you want to live.”

~~~~~

Darkness.

All consuming and quiet.

But at least the pain had stopped.

It was rather lonely here. Nothing to do and no one to talk to. Whenever you tried to move, the blackness that surrounded you gave little away as to whether you were actually moving or not. There’d been waves of extreme heat, bitter cold, and heavy nausea, and while none of that was particularly thrilling, it was nice to know that you could still feel something in this liminal space of sensory deprivation.

The voice would occasionally interrupt the profound silence to address you.

Come on, my sweet, eat just a little more. I know you can.

What are you dreaming about in there?

Are you going to wake up anytime soon, darling?

You didn’t know. No matter what you tried, it didn’t seem likely that you were close to leaving this place. And just when it felt like you were finally getting somewhere, the pain would overtake you again and stop you in your tracks.

It was exhausting.

You felt someone squeeze your hand distantly.

Brought a book.

Your head instinctively turned towards the voice.

Thought I might read to you. Since you’re doing an abhorrent job of entertaining me.

Something about the tone made you want to argue. You try… whatever this is! you wanted to say.

Thought this one might be fun. “The Curse of the Vampyre.” Maybe we’ll learn something.

Vampire… why did that word send your heart racing?

“Harken close and beware the Vampyr.” Off to a good start. “Beware its cold beauty.” True. “Beware its charm.” True. “Beware its curse.” ………True.

Again, you had the overwhelming sensation that you knew this voice. The sense of comfort that washed over you felt all too familiar.

“How doth one protect from the beast?” When was this written? A pause, as if the voice were investigating. I’ve decided I don’t care. The voice cleared its throat. “Walk not in the blackest night, for the Vampyr loves these nights more than any other.” I was rather enjoying my time in the sun, actually. “If you must walk, do so by the light of our moon and take care.” What kind of advice is that? The moon? The moon and I get on just fine. That wouldn’t protect you, darling. “Carry the blessings and marks of your God at all times.” The voice snorted. Yes, because the Gods have cared so much about stopping my acts of debauchery in the past.

Something in the voice’s airy tone lifted an aching weight from your chest. Yes, you knew this person. You were sure of that. You could listen to them all day. Mindlessly, you drifted closer to where the voice was strongest.

“But remember, your home is your fortress, if protected well.” Hmm. “If you hear a knock in the night, be wary. Let no stranger into your home.” As if we make house calls these days. “If it be a friend, look upon them. Do you find them pallid and wan?” Rude. “See you any mark upon their neck?” Collars, darling. Though, I’ve found that most people don’t pay close enough attention anyway. Especially when you’re distracting them with- Well, you know. The voice exhaled loudly. “See you any dirt upon their clothes?” Yuck. “Unless their need is great, turn all away but the most trusted.” You trust me, don’t you, my dear?

Yes, you tried to say. Of course I trust you.

The voice was growing louder. More clear.

Of course you do, the voice said, though you were sure it hadn’t heard you. Stupid. “And if the Beast finds a way into your home, flee.” I’d say that’s good advice, but unfortunately for you, you can’t really flee right now. And I don’t plan on leaving.

Good. You exhaled, frustrated that you couldn’t speak.

The hand holding yours tightened mildly.

I’m here, darling.

I know. Thank you.

It took a moment before the voice started speaking again.

“Lease love and family behind.”

You felt an indescribable tension as the voice paused once more. Had this passage just said something important? You replayed the phrase in your head.

Family?

Love?

Love…

Oh.

The voice was quieter when it spoke again.

“You will not save them if you fight. You will not see them again. But they will see you, pale and smiling, calling them into the night.”

Astarion.

Of course it was Astarion. How could it be anyone else?

He was here.

With you.

Just out of reach.

Well, that’s a rather ominous passage, isn’t it?

Astarion! you tried to say. I’m here!

Shh shh shh, he tutted. Don’t strain yourself.

Something you had said or done had gotten through to him.

Astarion! you tried again.

Nothing. You were met with silence.

Fuck it. Fuck the pain, fuck this freakish darkness. You pulled yourself towards his voice.

Shall I continue reading, darling?

Yes, keep talking. You winced as a flash of pain pulsed through your middle.

I’m going to skip ahead. I hope you don’t mind.

As long as I can still hear your voice. The pain was becoming more consistent and noticeable.

Ah, this sounds rather interesting: “Vampiric Duality.” Ahem. “Now look, the thing is: your basic vampire has two instincts, right? Feed and make little vampires.” Immediately, a vastly different tone. Is this even the same book? The voice paused again, presumably to check the cover. I admit, I do love to feed, but I’m not sure how much this person knows about vampiric biology. Not that Cazador ever allowed us much research into the subject…

You felt yourself physically recoil at the mention of Cazador’s name and heard Astarion chuckle.

No, you’re right, darling, I won’t mention him again. He hummed and mumbled under his breath. Blah blah blah… “The personality of a vampire has as many facets as a schizophrenic diamond?” What? I appreciate the comparison to a diamond, obviously, but a schizophrenic one? What does that even mean?

You would have laughed if you weren’t actively fighting to get to him. The pain in your torso was almost unbearable, the closer you got to his voice. Tears pricked your eyes, and every part of you hurt like nothing you’d ever experienced before. When the torment started to become white hot and all consuming, you hit what felt like a physical wall.

Ah! Listen to this part, beautiful: “Yet who doesn't adore the darkly romantic complexity of the vampire-”

You did. You adored this vampire. Though you were hurting severely, you reached out and punched against the wall that was blocking you.

Astarion! you all but wailed.

“-the gusto of their love-”

Again, you pounded with all your might, screaming out in agony and rage as the pain physically held you back from reaching out and touching him. You still couldn’t see him, but you felt his presence. So, so close.

“-the wildness of their passion!” You heard him let out a delighted laugh.

I’m here! you shouted, using both fists to bang against this wall of pure suffering.

Oh, my dear, if you were awake, I’d shower you with the absolute wildness of my passion. You could practically hear his smirk. I’d demonstrate the gusto of my… well. My-

Gathering all the strength you had left, you wound back and threw your entire body against the wall. You squeezed your eyes tight as an overwhelmingly bright light spilled in and your ears began to ring.

You gasped for air, sitting up quickly, and immediately regretted it.

You heard your name said softly in disbelief and a book slamming shut.

“Ow…” you whined, clutching at your abdomen and feeling tears roll down your cheeks.

Before you could register what was happening, you felt cool palms on your cheeks and soft lips kissing all over your face. You blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the situation.

“I’m so mad at you,” Astarion said, still kissing your face, his voice filled with nothing but relief.

“What… happened?” you asked between hiccups of tears.

“Lie back down, precious,” he said, gently helping you back onto what seemed to be a pile of pillows and pulling a blanket over you. “You scared us, is what you did.” He wiped a few stray tears from your cheeks, but they kept flowing. You couldn’t stop.

“Did I… die?” You turned your head to look around. It looked like you were in your tent, your things strewn about somewhat neatly and similar to how it had been at your camp by the lake. A few candles were lit.

“Nearly,” Astarion confirmed quietly. He looked exhausted. “An undead Duergar got you with his battle axe.”

“Ah,” you said, at a loss for words. “That’s not good.”

Astarion stared at you. “‘That’s not good?’ That’s all you have to say?” He held a hand to your forehead briefly. “Your fever is gone, but it’s possible you’ve got brain damage.”

You chuckled, knowing he was kidding, but the action caused a searing pain in your stomach. You let out a pathetic whine, reaching for the hurt area, but Astarion caught your wrist.

“Careful, darling. You’ve got a pretty severe wound there.” He released you and pulled back the blanket that was draped over you. Upon looking down, you saw that nearly your entire midsection was covered in bandages. A spot of red spread slowly, disrupting the otherwise pristine white of the cotton.

“It h-urts,” you sniffled, your voice breaking.

Astarion’s eyes were full of sympathy. “Looks like sitting up quickly may have opened the wound again.”

“Should I go get Shadowheart?” you asked without really thinking about it.

Astarion snorted. “If you think you’re strong enough to fetch the cleric, you’re delusional.”

“Oh,” was all you could say in agreement. “Should you go get Shadowheart? Or Halsin, maybe?”

He shook his head, turning away from you to rifle through some supplies that were out of your line of sight. “Everyone’s asleep, my dear.” He sat back up straight and set out a few items next to you: fresh bandages, healing potions, a salve of some sort, and a small bowl of water. “Besides, I’m perfectly capable of taking care of you myself.”

You almost laughed. “How long was I out? What happened to you?”

He rolled his eyes. “You were out for nearly twelve hours, I’d say. It’s a little before dawn, I think. Though there’s no sun to go off of.”

You nodded, not sure how to feel about this information. Twelve hours was a long time. And yet it felt even longer. Like you’d been out for a lifetime.

“As for what happened to me, well, someone I… care about… nearly died.” He cleared his throat. “Is it so bizarre that I want her to get better?”

You smiled. “I guess not.”

Astarion returned your smile before hooking his arms under yours and helping you sit up. Someone had stacked two chests on top of each other behind the makeshift mattress to act as a headboard, and he helped you scoot back to sit against it.

“Careful, my sweet, the axe entered through your back. Let’s try not to lean and put pressure on it, hmm?”

You nodded, wincing when you moved incorrectly. “When did you become such a medical professional?”

He was busy prepping the new bandages. “Shadowheart showed me how to change the bandages once or twice while you were out, and Halsin provided the salves and potions.” Astarion got up onto his knees and crawled over to you, helping you scoot forward, away from the headboard. “And my sister, Dal. She was a doctor, before Cazador. She’d help the rest of us every once in a while. Especially when things got particularly brutal.”

“That’s much cooler than being a magistrate,” you teased, flinching a little in pain.

“I don’t know, magistrates can sentence people to death.” He squeezed your arm.

“No they can’t,” you laughed. Then paused. “Can they?”

Astarion shrugged. “Can’t remember, honestly.” He leaned forward to reach for where the bandage was tucked into itself on your front. “I’m going to undo this now, okay? Let me know if I hurt you at all.”

You nodded, holding his gaze.

“Oh,” he said before turning to grab a healing potion. He handed it to you. “This should help.”

You took it and downed it as Astarion began to carefully unwrap the bandages. You could feel the unpleasant sting of something having dried beneath the cloth that was now being tugged at as the bandage was unraveling.

Astarion was nothing but complete focus as he reached his arms around you and back towards himself, carefully unwrapping you. You watched him the entire time.

“I heard you, you know.”

He looked at you, the corner of his lips quirking up. “Heard me what?”

“When you were talking to me while I was sleeping.”

He went a little stiff at your words. “What exactly did you hear?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know. I heard you reading just now.”

His shoulders dropped in relief. “Horrid creatures, vampires.”

“The worst,” you agreed.

Astarion pulled away the last of the bandage and you looked down, your eyes widening at the huge gash along the right side of your stomach.

“And we’re sure I didn’t die?” you asked, cautiously poking the area around the wound. The healing potion had stopped the bleeding.

Astarion slapped your hand. “Stop that.”

“Sorry.”

“No, you’re still here with us. I would have killed Withers if that weren’t the case.”

“You can’t-”

“I know. But he would have gotten an earful at least.” Astarion crawled on his knees back over to the supply area that you previously couldn’t see. Now you could see that there were a few buckets of water with towels and cloths of various sizes. He dunked his hands into one of the buckets and lathered his hands with soap.

“Thorough,” you commented.

“You already fought off one infection,” he explained. “Don’t want to risk another.” He finished washing and drying his hands, then made his way back over to you on his knees, careful not to touch anything on his way.

“I had an infection?” you asked, watching as he dipped a cloth in the small bowl of water next to you.

“Yes,” he said, “or were fighting one off. Like I said earlier, you had a fever, but it’s gone now.” He brought the cloth up to your stomach. “I’m going to clean the wound now. It might hurt.”

You nodded and he began dabbing your skin lightly. He was right, it stung and pierced whenever he hit a particularly raw area and your body jerked despite attempting to stay still. Tears welled up in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry,” Astarion said, reaching up to wipe a tear away.

“I’m the one who got cleaved,” you deflected. “It’s my own fault.”

“Which reminds me,” his face morphed from apologetic to irritated, “why didn’t you tell us you were so exhausted? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I-” you squeaked at a particularly sharp pain. “I didn’t want you all to worry.”

Astarion’s hand paused and he narrowed his eyes at you. “Fine load of good that did, dear.”

“I’m sorry,” you looked away from him. “I didn’t know how involved the fight was going to be.”

“It doesn’t matter how involved the fight was or wasn’t going to be; if you weren’t feeling your best, you should have stayed behind and let one of the others take your place.” He sniffed pompously and added, “Would have given me an excuse to relax, too.” There was a sharpness to his words, but his actions remained careful and kind. You gave him a curious look and he rolled his eyes. “Oh, like I would go out and fight when I could laze about at camp for once.” He was suddenly very focused on not looking you in the eye.

You smiled. “You liiiiike me.”

“I’d have spent the entire time on the other side of camp.”

“Liar.”

“The point is, darling, you have to listen to yourself and what you need. I do it all the time. For myself, I mean.”

“I know you do,” you chuckled.

Astarion set down the wet cloth he was using and got a fresh one, before moving behind you to clean the wound on your back.“Why do you even care what we think?”

“Because you’re my friends, and I value your opinions?”

“No, I mean, why aren’t we allowed to be worried about you?”

“Oh,” you winced and flinched a bit at the cloth pressing against a tender spot on your back. “I don’t know. You all have your own problems to worry about. I shouldn’t be one of them.”

Astarion tsked. “I might be new to this whole ‘caring about someone else’ thing, but even I know how absurd that is.”

You tried to stay quiet, focusing on not moving to minimize the pricklings of pain shooting through your back. Yet despite your best effort, you still let out a few weak whimpers of discomfort.

Astarion sighed and moved away from you, back to the caché of supplies at the end of your bed. He came up with a steaming bowl of stew and reached across the bed to hand it to you.

“Careful,” he warned.

“How?” you asked.

“Halsin made soup. Gale knew a spell to keep it warm. This is the result.” He handed you a spoon. “We were able to get you to eat some while you were unconscious, but Shadowheart said you should eat properly whenever you woke up. I forgot until just now.”

“Thank you,” you said gratefully, shoveling some of the stew into your mouth. It was rich and heavy; full of meat and vegetables. Delicious.

Astarion took his place behind you again and went back to cleaning, but not before sighing dramatically. “Playing nursemaid is so far beneath me. I can’t believe you’re making me do this, you wretch.”

You swallowed some broth then said, “I offered to get Shadowheart.”

“Not a chance,” he growled in your ear, leaning around to kiss your cheek. “But if I ever have to do this again-”

“You’ll kill me?”

“Without a second thought, my sweet.”

“Mmhm,” you hummed through more food. “I think you’re enjoying this, honestly.”

“Seriously? When I could be out killing something? Or drinking from that gorgeous neck of yours? Or thoroughly ruining you? Nice try.”

“Are you hungry?” you asked, suddenly feeling very guilty for not thinking of him.

“This is what I mean, darling.” He sounded annoyed.

“What?”

“You are very weak at the moment. You lost quite a bit of blood from this wound, and you’re still offering to feed me.”

“Because I want to help you! I have something you need and I lo-like you so much.” You caught yourself, but not very smoothly.

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Flattered as I am, I know that drinking from you right now could be fatal. And I think you know that, too.”

You shoveled some more stew into your mouth shamefully.

“That’s all I mean, pet.” Astarion set down the cloth he’d been using to clean your back and moved around so he could look you in the eye again. “You’re incredible. You always want to help others, which, while I don’t personally understand it, is seen as very admirable to some people. But it gets you into trouble, and I don’t think you care that it does.” He took your chin in his hand to make you look at him. “But I care now. And I don’t want this to happen again.”

“I can’t help it,” you said quietly.

Astarion pouted mildly with genuine sympathy and kissed you chastely. “Try.” He pressed his forehead to yours.

“Okay,” you whispered.

“That’s my girl,” he smiled. “Besides,” his flamboyant cadence returned to make you laugh, “I already drained some poor beastie dry earlier while Shadowheart was changing your bandages.”

“Poor beastie.”

He kissed you again, more deeply this time. “It meant nothing to me,” he teased and you laughed. “It was purely for sustenance.” He nosed along your neck to his favorite feeding spot and kissed you there.

“I may never find forgiveness in my heart for this,” you teased back.

Astarion’s eyes went noticeably soft and a small smile tugged at his lips. His hands came up to your cheeks and he kissed you once more, tugging at your bottom lip with his front teeth. You matched his rhythm, moaning softly, and unconsciously rolling your hips, which made you cry out in pain.

“Bad idea,” you groaned, tilting your head away from Astarion’s eager kisses.

He chuckled and rested his forehead on your temple. “You know, Halsin actually warned me not to ‘give in to any carnal desires’ until you were fully healed. I told him I wouldn’t.”

“And yet you did anyway?” you raised an eyebrow with a smile. “You selfish prick.”

Astarion tsked. “I’m not the needy one rolling my hips, now am I?”

“You bit my lip!”

“Call it… a vampiric sign of affection. Nothing more than that.”

You blew out an annoyed huff, causing a strand of hair in your face to fly upwards.

“I didn’t even draw blood,” Astarion said. “You should be thanking me.”

“Oh, thank you,” you rolled your eyes.

“But of course.”

“I so badly want to strangle you right now.”

Astarion growled from the back of his throat. “Oh, how I’ve missed you,” he said, kissing you again, despite your laughing protests.

“Would you please finish with this?” you asked, pushing him back and gesturing the undressed wound on your stomach.

He groaned loudly. “If I must.”

“I can handle the front,” you said, nodding towards a bowl of salve, but not attempting to lean forward and grab it for fear of accidentally hurting yourself further.

Astarion hesitated in giving you the bowl, but quickly gave in. “Fine.”

“I’ll be careful,” you said.

He nodded once and took his own bowl of salve to spread on your back.

The balm was cool and caused you to jump a little when it first made contact with your skin. Astarion paused his work to make sure you were alright.

“I’m okay,” you assured. “Just cold.”

“You get used to it,” he smirked, globbing more cold substance onto your back.

Delicately, you took your own salve and began to apply a generous amount to your stomach.

The two of you remained silent, locked in concentration as you administered the medicine to your wounds. It stung mildly, but the cooling effect it had became comforting soon enough.

“So…” you broke the silence after you were satisfied with your work, “what did you do while I was… out?”

Astarion exhaled through his nose and didn’t answer right away. “Oh, nothing special. A little of this, a little of that. My world doesn’t revolve around you, you know.”

“Sad,” you pouted, “because while I was unconscious, all I could hear was your voice.”

“Could you, now?” You could hear the grin in his voice. “I was all you could hear?”

“Mmhm,” you confirmed. “Which means you must have spent a lot of time by my side.” You risked a glance over your shoulder and saw Astarion’s hand hovering just above your back, frozen in place.

He cleared his throat and continued to apply the salve. “And so what if I did?”

“Well, it’s just that there’s so much else you could have been doing,” you chuckled. “Like killing, or maiming, or drinking, or stabbing-”

You stopped talking when you felt his forehead press against your bare shoulder. He mumbled something against your skin, but you couldn’t make it out.

“What was that, my love?”

He sighed heavily and pulled back. “I was scared.”

“You… were scared? You?”

“Of course I was scared!” he exclaimed, looking irritated and confused. “I may already be dead, but it’s not your time yet. I would never wish that on you.”

You weren’t sure how to process that.

Astarion.

Scared, on your behalf.

You knew he cared about you, that was obvious by now, he’d told you as much, but that was a fairly recent development. In the past, he’d only cared enough to save his own skin. He’d always watched your back, sure, but there were days where you knew he’d only helped you or another companion because it had been convenient for him in some way. Although, you had to admit, since you two had become… whatever you were, he’d seemed to take extra precaution when looking out for you. Both in battle and out.

“Astarion,” you said slowly when he returned from behind you to grab the fresh bandages, “what happened when the zombies got me?”

He remained quiet, fiddling with the bandages in his hands.

“I carried you here.”

“Where is ‘here,’ exactly?” you asked.

He shrugged. “Not too far from those horrid singing mushrooms. They were no help.”

Your eyes went wide, knowing how far the journey from the Myconid colony to the decrepit village was, and how he must have traveled further than that to get here. You shook your head, banishing the thought. “How did you get to me from your platform?”

Astarion came close and unwound the bandages in his hands again, making sure he had the right amount. “I may or may not have… gone into a blind rage, killed some dwarves, yelled at Gale… It was no big deal.”

“And then you… carried me.”

“Yes.”

“All the way here.”

“Yes.”

“And then?”

“And then I helped Halsin with healing you. Why does it matter?”

“You…” You trailed off and allowed Astarion to start wrapping the bandages around your middle. Your eyes were unfocused on something in the distance and your mind was blank; too overwhelmed with thoughts to think anything at all. You shook your head to bring yourself back into the moment with him.

His voice was quiet. “I’ve been powerless far too often in my life. Seeing you go down, and not being able to stop it, it… broke something in me.”

You watched him carefully.

“If I was powerless in that situation, and you… If I’d lost you, I don’t know what I would have done.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t lose me then,” you said, attempting to lift the mood while focusing on his hands.

He shook his head and paused with the wrapping. “Shadowheart said I was ready to burn the world. I think she was right.”

“I’m touched,” you joked again.

“I’m serious, darling.” He picked up where he left off with the bandages.

“You were that worried about me? Even though you were also surrounded by enemies?”

“Oh, believe me, I’m not pleased about this turn of events. Normally, in a setting like that, I’d be mostly worried about myself. But lately I seem to somehow be worried about you more.” He hummed as if he were surprised to hear himself say that aloud.

You brought a hand up to gently wrap around his forearm as he continued wrapping you up. He met your eye fondly.

“You give me something to care for. And that’s worth the peril.” He smiled at you for a moment, then pulled on the bandages to make sure they were tight enough. “Is this alright?”

Try as you might to not let him see, your eyes welled up with tears. “Fine, yes.”

“Oh gods, don’t lie, you’re crying!” He immediately began to loosen the bandages and you started laughing.

“No, no, dummy,” you wiped a tear and stopped his hands with your own. “I care about you, too.”

“We’ve established that, darling,” but his eyes went soft. “Let me finish this, you sap,” he gestured to your bandages, still not properly secured, and you released his hands. He once again returned to wrapping the wound and pulled the bandages tighter, but not as tight as before. They were firm enough that they wouldn’t fall, and you could still breath easily, despite the mild ache that lingered in your stomach. He tucked the end into the top of the wrapping beneath your chest. “There now, my sweet. All patched up.” He brushed both hands through your hair before resting them gently on your shoulders.

You smiled at him, but something occurred to you upon hearing the affectionate nickname. “Is there a reason you haven’t called me ‘my love’ since I woke up?”

Astarion looked taken aback. “Erm…”

You were quick to explain: “It’s my favorite. That’s why I call you that, too.”

“Your favorite…” Astarion stared at you blankly for a second and his hands squeezed your shoulders absently.

You could practically see the cogs in his head turning. You brought a hand to cup his cheek. “If I did something-”

Astarion shook his head. “No, darling, you did nothing wrong. Other than almost getting yourself killed, I mean. It’s just that… I’m in the process of coming to terms with how I feel - about you.”

Oh.

He’d thrown “love” and “my love” around so casually, practically the entire time you’d known him. Abruptly stopping their use was incredibly unlikely unless it was deliberate.

Did this mean he was starting to rethink those words? And what it meant to say them to you?

Did that mean he… loved you?

Your heart started pounding as a million jumbled thoughts entered your mind. It seemed like Astarion noticed the change in your pulse.

“If that scares you-”

“No!” You were grinning widely and tried to hide it behind your free hand. “Take all the time you need, my love.” You hoped calling him by your preferred pet name might convey how you felt, but you didn’t want to scare him off. You knew better than anyone how new this was to both of you.

“Thank you,” he said, taking your hand and kissing the inside of your wrist. “Now lie down, would you? You need more sleep.”

You handed him your now empty bowl of stew. “But… I’m not tired.”

Astarion gave you a look as if to say really?

“I’m not! I’ve been sleeping all day!”

“And for good reason, might I add.”

The two of you stared at each other, willing the other to give in. Astarion rolled his eyes.

“Fine,” he said, annoyed. He reached for the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

“Carnal desires,” you reminded him in a scolding manner.

“I don’t plan on ravishing you right now, dearest,” he said, a bit of bite in his words. “If you’re not going to sleep, at least lie down with me.”

He moved the medical supplies off of the makeshift bed and blew out a few candles as he awaited your answer.

You nodded, a smile overtaking your features. “I’d like that.”

“I’ll be gentle,” he said as he got onto the pile of pillows and placed his knees on either side of your hips. He took your arms and wrapped them around his neck.

“I know,” you said, using him as an anchor to lower yourself onto your back and further into the pillows.

When he was satisfied with your position, Astarion carefully lifted himself from hovering above you and transitioned himself to curl into your side. You stayed on your back so as to not jostle your wound, but turned your head to look at him. He watched you intently, his hands palm-to-palm and resting under his cheek. You ran your hand through his hair.

“I couldn’t reach you,” you said.

“When?” Astarion lifted his head slightly.

“When I was sleeping. I could hear you, but I couldn’t see you. And it hurt to try and get to you.”

“Oh, my darling,” he said, running a hand along your cheek. “I’m here now.”

“I know,” you repeated, warmth overtaking your chest.

“Nervous it’ll happen again if you sleep?” he asked. When you nodded, he nodded back in understanding. “Nightmares are dreadful.”

“Any tips?”

“Hmm… not really.”

“Thanks.”

Astarion laughed softly and reached for your hand. “I’ll stay awake with you for as long as you need.”

“You need your rest, too.”

He clicked his tongue. “If you think I’m going out with the others tomorrow, you’re a bigger fool than I thought.”

You exhaled an amused breath and turned your head back up towards the top of your tent to sort through some of your many tangled thoughts.

While it was true that you and Astarion hadn’t known each other for very long, it floored you how much of a change you saw in him now versus when you’d first met. Back then, he was cruel, and violent, and prone to laughing at the misfortune of others. Now, he was still all of those things, but there was also this soft side of him that he continued to surprise you with. He’d actively chosen to stay by your side all day, even though he could have let the others handle your care. He probably would have opted for that option just a few weeks ago. He was also making the choice to stay at camp with you tomorrow, rather than venture out with the rest of your party to be rewarded by the Myconids for your efforts, and possibly spill more blood throughout the Underdark. Knowing how much he loved to spill blood, that was a big deal.

He’d also shown you the most tender affection the first night you’d slept together and every heated encounter since; he was showing he cared in the ways he knew how. He was trying his best (for the most part), and that’s what mattered to you. Astarion could take all the time he needed to sort out his feelings.

But you knew how you felt.

“So other than the peril, are you enjoying the Underdark?”

Astarion groaned. “Really?”

“Yes.”

He let out a long exhale, the cool air of his breath tickling your neck. “You know, for all the time I spent lurking in the shadows, I’ve never ventured into the Underdark before.”

“So you’ve told me,” you squeezed his hand.

“Hardly a… luxurious setting, but it definitely has its upsides for a vampire.”

You nodded, still looking up at the top of your tent.

“Or its… undersides? Because it’s - you know what I mean.”

You snorted at his feeble attempt at a pun. “Boooo,” you teased and looked over at him.

“I’ve been awake for nearly 24 hours, need I remind you.”

“Then trance, idiot.” You poked his nose.

“I said I would stay awake with you.”

“I’ll be alright,” you insisted, “though I appreciate the offer, my love.”

Astarion blinked slowly, his eyes suddenly heavy with sleep. It was as if he were finally allowing himself to relax, now that he was able to hear your voice again. He wore a lopsided grin as his eyes drifted closed.

“I really did miss you,” he murmured, his voice soft.

“I missed you, too.” You brought your clasped hands up to your mouth and kissed the back of his hand. “Thank you for saving me.”

He didn’t properly respond, and instead hummed out a sleepy acknowledgement.

“You’re so heroic.”

“Mmm.”

“And handsome.”

“Mhm.” He inhaled and exhaled deeply.

“Thank you for staying by my side.”

This time he didn’t respond. He looked entirely peaceful and his lips were parted slightly.

“Maybe I spoke too soon,” you laughed quietly, brushing a loose hair out of his face. “You should sleep though,” you said more to yourself than to him. “I can’t imagine how tired you must be.”

You watched his chest rise and fall with the unnecessary breaths he still took after all these years. You couldn’t believe that mere moments ago, he’d admitted that he was beginning to care more for your safety than for his own. Much less that he might even love you.

Astarion made a small sound, like a tiny grunt from the back of his throat that you’d come to learn meant that he was likely out cold. He rarely fell asleep before you did, given how little rest elves needed, which only further showed how exhausted he truly was.

“I love that noise,” you smiled.

You turned your head back up to the top of your tent and sighed. “I love how funny you are. And I love how even though you’re incredibly intelligent, you’re the dumbest man I’ve ever met.” You looked back at him. His slumbering expression remained unchanged. “I love your eyes, and your ears, and the annoying way you put your hand on your hip when you think you’ve gained the upper hand in something.” You squeezed his hand ever so slightly and watched to make sure his features stayed even. “I love how kind you pretend you aren’t and how fiercely you deny it when I bring it up. I love your laugh, and how gently you hold me when you feed, and how you think about me when you could so easily think of yourself instead.”

Again, you brought his hand up to your mouth and kissed his fingers.

“I love you, Astarion.”

You couldn’t be sure, but you swore you could see the slightest smile on his face as you felt your eyes flutter closed and you drifted into your own contented sleep.

321 notes · View notes

dorabellingham · 4 months ago

Text

Dinner plans

warning: none

characters: jude x mom!reader

summary: when your baby is too fussy to let you go to dinner

may contain spelling and translation errors!

Madrid, Spain — October 10, 2024.

The sun was already setting on the Madrid skyline, coloring the sky with shades of orange and pink. You were in front of the bedroom mirror, adjusting the long navy blue silk dress you had chosen for the special night. The thin straps highlighted your delicate shoulders, and the fabric flowed softly to the floor, making you feel elegant, even though a part of you was worried at home.

—You look beautiful, sweetheart.

Jude said as he entered the room, stopping for a moment to appreciate you. He was neatly dressed, wearing an impeccable white suit that highlighted his athletic build. His hair was casually styled, and the woody scent filled the air around you.

You smiled slightly, but there was a glint of concern in your eyes.

—Thank you, Jude... but I don’t know if we should really go. Benji is so moody today.

Your husband came closer, placing his hands on your shoulders, the warm and familiar touch trying to convey comfort.

—Hey, everything will be fine. Martina is already on the way, and he'll be fine with her. We need this time just for the two of us, don't you think?

You nodded, but your gaze went straight to the next room, where your baby was mumbling softly in his crib, his little arms stretched up high, as if searching for his parents. He was going through a difficult phase, too clingy to let go of you, and every time he left he seemed more defiant.

—I know, I know... it's just that he's been more attached lately, I don't know what's going on. —You sighed, releasing the air that seemed trapped in your chest. —Maybe it's just a phase.

Jude smiled understandingly and continued to run his hands over your shoulders, giving you a good feeling.

—It certainly is. And he'll get used to it soon. Besides, we're not far away, we'll just have dinner and be back before he notices.

You turned to him, touching the knot of his tie gently, as if that small action could distract from your worries.

—He knows when we’re not here. You’ve seen how he’s gotten more agitated since we started getting ready, Babe.

At that moment, Benjamin’s soft crying increased in intensity, turning into a continuous whine, as if he knew his parents were about to leave. You moved away from Jude, hurrying towards the baby’s room.

When you arrived, you found him lying in the crib, his little face red and his little hands clutching the blanket.

—Oh, my little boy.

You whispered, taking your little baby in your arms. Immediately, he calmed down a little, but sobs still escaped between heavy sighs.

Bellingham appeared right behind, watching both.

—He just wants to be held, babe. You’re his comfort.

Jude's voice was soft, but with a touch of contained frustration, because he knew how much these moments affected his wife. You rocked Benji gently, feeling his small body fit against his.

—I know, but it feels wrong to leave him like this.

—Do you think if we don't go he'll sleep better?

Jude asked, trying to find a solution. He understood your concern, but he also wanted to provide a special moment. You looked at him with an uncertain expression and Benji groaned, grabbing yiur dress as if holding on with all his strength. Jude sighed, feeling his son's resistance, but also understanding that they needed this time together.

—Maybe we can postpone the reservation for a little longer, until he calms down?

—Do you think they'll let us? It's a super busy restaurant, Jude...

You asked, already mentally preparing yourself to give up on the idea of dinner.

—I'll call them, explain the situation. It'll work out.

The taller one answered, already taking his cell phone out of his pocket and moving away a little to make the call.

While he was solving the problem, you continued to calm Benjamin, who was now calmer in your arms, his little brown eyes slowly closing. You rocked him from side to side, the gentle rhythm making the baby snuggle even closer against his mother's chest. A small, affectionate smile appeared on your lips as she watched him.

—You know you can let mommy and daddy go out, right? Just for one night?

You whispered, kissing your son's forehead.

Jude came back a few minutes later with an expression of relief.

—I managed to postpone it in an hour. That way we can spend a little more time with him and leave when he's asleep.

You smiled, relieved, and blew a kiss in the air followed by a wink at him.

—You're the best, darling!

He shrugged, sending a kiss and a weak wink back.

—I’m good at negotiations, it’s part of my job.

You laughed softly, still rocking Benji. Jude came closer again, putting his arm around you and looking at his sleeping son.

—Now, let’s enjoy this little time with him, and then we have our night. Fair enough, right?

You nodded, feeling Jude’s warmth and love beside you. The baby finally fell asleep completely, his body relaxed in his mother’s arms. You sat together on the couch in the living room, Jude with an arm around you, both of you watching Ben breathe softly, his face angelic and peaceful.

—Sometimes I wonder if we’ll ever be able to have time for just the two of us again.

You confessed in a whisper.

Jude squeezed your arm lightly.

—We’ll find that balance. Benjamin is our priority, but we also need to take care of ourselves. This night is just a reminder that we are still us, Y/n. And that all of this is only getting more special.

You looked at him, feeling the weight of his words and the truth in them.

—Yeah... you’re right.

You were silent for a few minutes, enjoying the momentary peace before finally getting up to get ready again. When Benji was safe and sound asleep, with the babysitter already at the ready, you left the house, knowing that, despite the challenges, this night was for you —a little piece of time just for them, amidst the rush of being parents.

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 5 months ago

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Musician Age Gap AU Pt 5

The shiny black car waiting for them at the curb is far more modest than Kara expects. Sure, the inside has a crystal decanter of something in the side console, but the outside at least is non-descript, almost subtle if not for its meticulously shined exterior.

Lena had thrown her hood up over her hair and placed oversized dark sunglasses on her nose when they exited the building, but they come off again as soon as the door shuts, enclosing them in the suddenly intimate space of the cab.

"So. Where to?" Lena asks.

"I thought you asked me on this date."

Lena's eyebrows rocket skyward, and Kara kicks herself at the slip. This isn't a date. But Lena responds before Kara can try to take it back.

"I don't get out much," comes Lena's blithe response. "And I'm technically a tourist, so. I figured a local like you would know the best joints in town."

Lena's smile is infectious, quickly pulling one to Kara's lips in turn. Kara thinks as the car pulls away from the curb, then leans forward to address the driver. "Can you take a left at the light and keep going until we hit 8th?"

The driver nods, and Kara sets herself to rummaging in her purse for her pen and something to write on. She finds the pen, but nothing so much as a receipt avails itself. With a huff of frustration, Kara thrusts first the pen, then her hand towards Lena.

"Write down your coffee order."

When Lena's lips turn down into a small frown, she continues.

"Noonan's is the best in National City, but the drawback is that everyone and their mother knows it. It's going to be packed. It'll be faster if I go in and order, and we take it elsewhere."

"Where?" Even as she asks, Lena takes the offered pen and starts to write on Kara's hand. Kara pretends that the touch of Lena's fingers on hers doesn't lift goosebumps to her skin.

"Maybe the park? It's nice out."

Lena smiles softly. "It is," she agrees. She caps the pen, but doesn't release Kara's hand. She instead dips her chin as though to kiss Kara's palm. Kara jumps when a stream of cool breath tickles her skin, drying the ink of Lena's order.

From the cheshire grin that flashes up at her, Lena knows exactly what she's doing.

"Sounds like a plan."

-‐-

The park is nice. The sun is warm on Kara's skin, though a breeze keeps it comfortable. And though its a little more crowded than Kara expected, Lena steps out of the car gamely. Up goes the hood, and on go the sunglasses.

It's not the best of disguises, Kara observes-- anyone would be able to spot that jawline from a mile away. But Lena seems to have made her choice as she retrieves her drink from the tray in Kara's hands. She also fishes a sticky bun from the paper bag Kara also holds.

"Oh my god," Lena moans as soon as the first bite hits her tongue. "This is amazing."

"You asked for the best," Kara reminds her with a hint of pride.

Lena hums again as she chews. "And by god did you deliver. Jeezus!"

Kara nibbles at her own treat, trying her best not to stare as the younger woman made short work of the sticky bun... and finished off by licking the sugary syrup left on her fingertips.

Catching her not-staring, Lena cocks another smile. "What?"

"What are we doing?"

Kara sets her bun down on the pastry bag on her lap, fidgeting in her seat. "I mean," she tries again. "Why me?"

Green eyes gaze at her, warm and engaged as Lena regards her. "Why not you?"

"I--" Kara stutters, suddenly unable to quantify her feelings of inadequacy. Her age is the first to spring to mind, but saying as much feels unnecessary-- Lena can perceive her age as well as anyone else, and clearly it hasn't deterred her.

What else could Kara say? That she's just an average private citizen, while Lena is the object of adoration for millions of people around the world?

That Kara feels like a nobody?

Or at least she did, until Lena started looking at her like *that*.

"You compel me."

Lena's voice is quiet, soft in the afternoon sun. Kara stares at her.

"Compel you? To do what?"

"To get to know you better," Lena replies. Her features smooth into an almost solemn expression. "When you stumbled in my dressing room last night, it was kind of refreshing, I guess."

Kara scoffs. "A random stranger tumbling into the room was refreshing?"

"No, that part was just surprising," Lena chuckles. Then her features soften. "But even after that... you didn't want anything from me."

Blinking in surprise, Kara's mouth opens to respond, but nothing comes out. Lena shrugs, her smile thinning a little.

"I love what I do and who I am, but... everyone wants something. My time, a picture, an autograph. An experience. You didn't."

Kara stares, still speechless. She hadn't given any thought to how she'd behaved that night. She'd just been frustrated and maybe a little mortified, and eager to get back to Esme. But from Lena's point of view she seemed almost... special.

"That," Lena continues, brightening once more, "and you're super hot."

Nearly choking on her own tongue, Kara coughs roughly in surprise before glaring at Lena.

"What?" the younger woman asks puckishly. "Is it truly that shocking? You've got mirrors, don't you?"

Kara takes a swig of her coffee to soothe her throat before responding. "That's not the word I usually hear."

"Oh?"

"More like... intimidating. Or tired. I get that one from my sister a lot."

Lena snorts. "Cowards the lot of them, then. Well, except for your sister. But rest are clearly too pussy to tell it like it is."

"Which would make you...?"

"Not chicken shit."

"Bold," Kara corrects her, but her tone lacks any real bite. It only makes Lena grin wider, which in turn sparks a smile of Kara's own.

Thankfully for Kara's fluttering heartbeat, Lena eases into a new topic. "So.... a sister, huh?"

Kara nods. "Esme's mom."

"Is it fun being the cool aunt?"

With a sigh, Kara shrugs. "Haven't had much time to be any kind of aunt, let alone a cool one."

"Well, you did take her to a super awesome show," Lena teases, tilting her head playfully.

"I did," Kara admits, but doesn't mention that it had been months since she'd last seen Esme prior. "But I got lucky that the performer was super nice about a whole lot of things."

A laugh answers her. "Happy to be of service."

A quiet moment passes between them. Soon, though, Kara realizes that Lena's features have turned pensive. She nudges the younger woman gently.

"What's on your mind?"

Lena blinks. "Oh. Um, I guess... I was thinking about my brother."

"I didn't know you had one," Kara says.

Okay, so mayyybe she had googled a little while waiting for Esme's phone to be delivered. She'd seen a bit of Lena's backstory-- signed to a label at age thirteen, managed by her mother, father passed when she was seven... but nothing about a brother.

Lena lifts a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "Half brother. Kind of."

Kara waits, giving Lena room to continue if she wanted to. After a moment, she does.

"I guess I kind of caught the performing bug from him. He was in a band before I could even walk. He even taught me how to play the piano. Our mom even managed them at one one point, but when she decided I had potential, she couldn't manage us both. So, she chose."

She chose Lena. To Kara, it makes perfect sense. Having seen her on stage, the joy and the skill and now the sheer presence of Lena... of course anyone would drop everything to be what she needed.

But she can only imagine how it would feel to be the person left behind.

"He left the day I signed with my first label. I tried for years to get in touch with him, and still try on his birthday, but... I've never heard from." Lena sighs, eyes flicking self-consciously towards Kara. "For all I know, I could be an aunt myself by now."

She sniffs, quickly scrubbing the corner of her eye with the heel of her hand. "Jeez. I didn't mean to get so serious on a first date."

Kara can't bring herself to counter the claim of a first date. Whether Lena means it playfully or genuinely, something about Lena's eyes still sparkling with unshed tears makes her wholly unassailable.

Before either of them can say anything more, Kara's phone rings in her purse, and Lena's chimes in a half a moment later. They both tense, then dissolve into giggles, the somber mood ruined by the return of real life.

"I should get back to the office," Kara says. A glance at her phone screen, she confirms that it's Eve calling, no doubt frantic with another call from Mrs. Jasper.

Lena sighs. "Yeah. My mom is probably apoplectic. I was supposed to be at a meeting an hour ago."

Kara starts. "What?! Lena..."

"What're they gonna do, fire me?" Lena drawls. Even so, she rises and offers a hand up to Kara. Kara takes it, and doesn't protest when Lena keeps hold of it on the way back to the car. "Besides, it was worth it."

"For the sticky bun?"

"That too."

At the curb of Kara's office, Lena finally passes over Esme's phone. When Kara reaches to take it, Lena leans in and presses her lips to Kara's cheek.

Too stunned to move, or even speak, Kara hears Lena's murmur right down to her bones.

"Have dinner with me."

Kara blinks. "When?"

Not no? Not what the fuck? When.

"Why not tonight?" Lena retreats just enough to meet Kara's gaze, searching. "Tell me you don't feel this too."

Oh, Kara feels it. Low in her belly, hungry and desperate and *scared*.

"Lena..."

"Give us tonight," Lena continues, a touch breathless. "I fly out in the morning. You won't have to see me again. If you don't want to."

Kara gears up to refuse it all. The supposition, the unmistakeable desire. But in the end, her shoulders slump.

"I don't think not-wanting will be the problem."

Lena beams. "So yes?"

Kara exhales slowly. She nods. "Yes."

She hears Lena's breath catch, before Lena settles back in her seat. "Text me your address? I can send a car."

"That's not necessary..." Kara trails off when Lena grimaces to the contrary.

"It'll be easier," she says. "Trust me."

Kara nods. "Okay."

"Dress code is fancy." Lena winks. "Whatever that means to you."

Kara huffs a soft laugh. "That's helpful." Then, "I look forward to it."

To her surprise, a faint blush climbs up Lena's neck, settling in her cheeks.

"Me too."

#supercorp #musician age gap au #first date #yesssss

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honeytonedhottie · 2 months ago

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honey's it girl magazine december edition⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀

welcome back to honeys it girl magazine, this is the december catalog. get ready for the inside scoop on data that i've collected, things i've learned/started doing, and just general info like that organized in kind of a teen-magazine inspired fashion. this months catalog has an article written by the LOVELY @osculum-frombee. i just wanna start off by saying THANK YOU all for supporting the magazine and my blog this year, this is theee it girls magazine and without further ado lets just get into it.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT ;

hey everyone! recently its come to my attention that a lot of you guys are advising me to create a sub stack account and so i did. on substack there will be a paid subscription to read the it girls magazine, BUT there are some things i want to tell u guys about regarding this magazine...💬🎀

WHAT ABOUT THE MAGAZINE ON TUMBLR? ;

you will still get an amazing it-girls magazine every month on tumblr absolutely free! the only difference between the it girls magazine on tumblr and the it girls magazine on substack is that on substack the magazine will be exclusive and include the following...💬🎀

♡ early access

♡ downloadable issues

♡ subscriber shout-outs

♡ guest article opportunities if u want to write something for the magazine

♡ collaborations potentially 🙈

♡ longer articles in general so if u like the longer articles and if u wanna read more than the exclusive version is def for you

the it girls magazine on this platform will include the same content as the magazine on substack! except on substack it'll be more in depth and include perks mentioned above. its basically the magazine y'all get here, but upgraded ✨

WHY YOU SHOULD SUPPORT MY SUBSTACK ;

for just $5 a month, you’ll get all the extra goodies that make honeys it girls magazine even more special! think early access to issues, exclusive behind-the-scenes content, and fun extras like shopping guides and downloads. plus, your support means the world to me—it helps me keep creating the content you love and dream up even more cool stuff for you. it’s like joining our little vip club where you get all the insider perks and help the magazine grow! 💕

as of right now im still working out the kinks of my magazine on substack so for todays catalog you guys will be getting the exclusive version that way u guys can know what its like! if u have any questions at all ur welcome to ask in the comments/submit an ask. i hope to see you all there but until then enjoy the experience 💻🎀

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS TO BE GLAMOROUS ;

for this holiday season lets set the scene with "mariah carey’s “all i want for christmas is you”, your wearing a sparkly dress and looking as beautiful as you always do ✨ looking like the ultimate holiday dream! thats the energy that we wanna emulate during this holiday season and we’ll get more into that later on in this catalog.

no but seriously, all i want for christmas is to be more fabulous and glamorous. as i was writing my christmas wishlist with my fluffy pink pen, i even made pink hot chocolate to set the mood (recipe will be shared later on) and i came to the realization that aside from the material aspects of a hyper feminine glamorous christmas, the vibe also needed to match.

glamour is about the way that you carry yourself. so, while we’ll definitely be purchasing our holiday wishlists, make sure that we’re keeping up with our self care rituals and in fact, pampering ourselves more because we are FABULOUS and we should treat ourselves as such. now, lets unwrap all the ways you can dominate this season like the it girl you are.

WHAT MADE YOU AN IT GIRL THIS YEAR ;

now that we’re in december i wanna track it back and do some reflection on our year just like we talked about in the november catalog. every it girl has her moments and im sure that this year has been full of them for you so just take a second to acknowledge your moments form the year.

for me, my biggest moments this year include making the decision to take myself more seriously because, i feel like i take myself quite seriously already but i haven’t been applying myself giving myself my all like i KNOW i can so making that choice this year to truly step into myself was def my biggest moment.

your it girl moments also dont have to be something necessarily ground-breaking, it can be as simple as you finding your signature scent (hint: if it smells like warm vanilla gourmand, it’s the one) or as ground breaking as reaching your health goals, getting on honor-roll for your school, or making big doll dollars! 💰💖💸 whatever it is, YOU did that. reflect and celebrate yourself.

PINK HOT CHOCOLATE RECIPE ;

pink hot chocolate is the perfect winter drink! plus its super easy to make so im going to be giving the recipe here so that you can enjoy a cup of it while you continue reading the it girl magazine. put on ur hello kitty aprons and lets get straight into the recipe! you’ll need the following ;

♡ 4 cups of milk ♡ 1/2 cups of white chocolate chips ♡ 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract

so what your gonna do is your gonna heat up 4 cups of milk in a pot and then add in ur white chocolate chips, mixing them together until smooth. then you’ll add the vanilla extract and the red food coloring and stir to distribute the color...💬🎀

i like to enjoy mine with whipped cream and pink and white mini marshmallows! now that you have your beverage we can continue on with the it girls magazine.

HOLIDAY SELF CARE ROUTINE ;

one of my favorite things to do are over the top self care routines! i love to feel glamorous and girly and take good care of myself meticulously especially during winter break because its easy to just rot and fall into a lethargic haze so hopefully this holiday self care routine motivates you and gives you something to do if your bored.

use a holiday themed bath bomb from lush

use a deep conditioning hair mask, put your hair up and read a chic magazine (like this one, duh)

its all about the experience so light a yummy candle while your doing self care

use a foot scrub of brown sugar honey and lemon -> for extra glam paint ur nails

moisturize your body with a shimmery lotion so you sparkle like a holiday queen

bubble baths!!

WHAT THE IT GIRLS ARE LISTENING TO ;

one of my favorite releases this december has to be twice and megan thee stallions collar strategy! the song is so vibrant and bubbly and i absolutely loved the music video also. we can't talk about december music without talking about the queen of christmas herself miss mariah carey and her christmas album 'merry christmas' some songs from my christmas playlist are ->

♡ santa tell me - by ariana grande ♡ all i want for christmas is you - by mariah carey ♡ last christmas - by wham! ♡ doughnut - twice ♡ a nonsense christmas - sabrina carpenter ♡ december - ariana grande ♡ when christmas comes - by mariah carey and john legend

THE ADVICE COLUMN ;

Q ; “Hey, I recently bought almond oil but don’t know what to use it for. I have heard of using it for hair, skin, body, etc. but could you elaborate on it? Also if it’s ok with u could this be in your magazine which I love btw! Your the best!” 💬

A ; hi anonie! so almond oil is super duper versatile. you can use it in a hair mask for shine and hydration. you can add a couple drops to your body lotion for skin hydration. you can also mix it with sugar and make ur own homemade body scrub. from the research i did, its also great for cuticle care and soothing dry areas like elbows and knees. thanks for loving the magazine!

DECEMBER TRENDS ;

i first wanna talk about the FASHION trends for december 2024 because it’s caught my eye. according to harpersbazzar “this season is all about daytime party clothes, o blood office attire, and updated english country classics.”

reoccurring themes in december fashion are all about finding ways to indulge in warmth and texture during the dark winter days. a texture that i’ve seen used a lot in december fashion is velvet and im going to talk about this a lot because it’s so super glamorous to me and resonates with me more as opposed to other textures that are trending like suede and corduroy.

velvet is so rich and perfect for december because of the cold weather. velvet to me just SCREAMS chic and luxurious. another texture i’ve always loved for the colder seasons is furs! miu mius first look from the fall 2024 fashion show set the stage for how popular chocolate browns are this month. chocolate brown is the chicest shade of cocoa ✨

december fashion also incorporates lots of layering because of the weather, but to master this you must layer FASHIONABLY. layering is so fun because we can really play with textures and colors. some tips to do this are as follows…💬🎀

mix textures to add dimension and interest

play around with proportions (for example big fur coat + tiny silky dress. or puffer jackets with a fashionable pair of jeans)

statement outerwear pieces!!

moving away from the fashion point of view on december trends, i wanna talk about the “can’t pay the mortgage” trend of december. so essentially you’d tell your significant other that you can’t pay the rent/mortgage, all while knowing that they have never payed for the mortgage.

so naturally, the husbands after hearing this they’re confused and some even offended that their wife would even have to think about paying the mortgage. i think that this trend is really cute, and its a harmless prank and its really beautiful to see women in equitable relationships where they’re being taken care of and happy. I LOVE TO SEE WOMEN WINNN.

HUNNY I CANT PAY THE MORTGAGE (BY THE LOVELY @osculum-frombee) ;

For December trends let’s go out with some advice that could better you in 2025, relationships. Let’s talk about love and expectations we all experience.

The perfect trend for this is the recent “Can’t pay the mortgage trend” where wives or partners tell their husbands they can’t pay the mortgage and see their reactions. This trend was originally done by 100% couples where the man paid all the bills in the household, or couples where the man paid half the bills (like the mortgage and perhaps something else) while the wife paid other bills but then 50/50 couples started participating in the trend and the differences in reaction was… shocking to say the least?

Reactions ;

The reactions betweeen the 50/50 men and the 100% men were obviously very different, but the question is just how different?...💬🎀

The men who paid most or all of the bills in the household almost immediately laughed or joked about their wife and how she doesn’t pay the bills anyway, some were confused and looked at their wife like “Babe..what?🤨” while some played along and pretend like they had no idea what they were going to do but reassured their wife they would handle it (my personal faves)

While the 50/50 men would have a DRASTICALLY different reaction these men would either blank out or rage out at the idea their wife or girlfriend couldn’t handle it, the guys who blanked out asking their wife is she could take overtime or saying they didn’t know what to do while the ones who raged out went to cursing or degrading their wives.

These reactions show perfectly what you do and DONT want in a relationship. The way your partner reacts and treats you is everything and there’s a difference between the way a provider would react and a stingy man would.

The trend isn’t about saying you should date a man who pays 100% of the bills if you don’t want to, or that all 50/50 men are trash. Like all things this requires PERSPECTIVE and knowing what YOU personally WANT

In times like this with the economy there are people out there who can’t do it with just one income alone, and that doesn’t mean you or your partner is a peice of crap for having to split the bills to make it...💬🎀

A provider man ;

You want to- no NEED to ensure that regardless of how much money your partner or you make, that whoever your dating is a provider man, who is more focused on taking care of you then you taking care of him, a problem solver who can save money for a rainy day, there are men out there who do 50/50 but ensure they take care of their partners, worship the ground they walk on and PROVIDE, do their best to take the stress off their partners shoulders while also taking care of household issues, men who put effort in emotionally and understand that relationships are a 2 way street, aren’t stingy about spending on their loved ones and treat their partners like the rare gemstone they are. THATS the type of man you want, whether he be filthy rich with generational wealth or a man who gives it his all either way.

There are 50/50 men out there who save money and if their partner ever said they couldn’t do their part of the bills this month he would move mountains to ensure his partners stressed was alleviated and create a solution to the problem, that could be him working overtime or taking money out of the savings or covering that months expenses himself if he can, he wouldn’t yell or argue, or curse profanities , he would help and ensure they were taken care of.

Emotional matters ;

There are men who may seem like the better choice, men who are rich and perfect on paper, but it’s not about how much money your partner has it’s how they react to the things they cannot buy. If you’re partner throws money and expensive bags at you without a second thought but when it comes to getting to know you and understand you, gaining your trust, talking through emotional issues and you trying to communicate to them they shun you out, get mad or dismissive then this isn’t the partner for you, wether you be man or women. You may think someone can buy things like your trust, effort, energy and genuine love but those are things that can’t ever be bought these things take experience, time spent with that person, arguments and makeups, it takes learning and growing to trust that person to love them. having a partner who doesn’t put effort in emotionally or mentally isn’t having a partner at all it’s simply being occupied or “busied” by someone else who won’t put forth a real connection with you.

What you want vs what you’re told to ;

I saw a video of a women saying her and her husband go 50/50 they use 1 salary for bills and expenses and use the other for savings, she said she likes it this way, she has her bachelors and her masters degree and chose not to quit working after becoming pregnant she listed points that were SO important

She mentioned how she liked having the fridge stocked, how she like vacationing whenever she wanted, she liked buying what she wanted and not struggling. The point I’m making is that it’s all about what you want and what feels right for you, but also about how your partner treats you. If you decide to go 50/50 on the financial labor and are with a man who doesn’t care about you or is very “dusty” you’re going to be unhappy and unfulfilled but its also the same if you’re dating a man who pays 100% yet still ignores every other need in a relationship like mental and emotional, youll be unfulfilled and unhappy.

If you’re going 50/50 make sure you're dating a man who’s clean and willing and likes to help around the house, who can clean or cook and will put effort into all aspects of this relationship. If you want to work but be 100% taken care of and save the money you make or spend it freely it’s your life, if you want to be a stay at home mom or parent or just want to stay at home and be 100% taken care of it’s your life, if you want to have your fantasy “the way of the househusband” life where you work and pay all the bills and your husband stays at home, cooks and cleans and takes care of everything else than babygirl it’s your life and honestly rock it?

It’s your life and it shouldn’t be curated to anyone else’s wants or expectations as long as you’re happy fulfilled, with a provider/ problem solver who will move mountains for you be happy. You’re not a roommate for going 50/50 when you’re truly loved and respected in your relationship and your partner isn’t stingy. Whichever way you want your relationship to go make sure you find a partner who is on the same page and can give you that, don’t try to force a clown to be a king because then the entire kingdom will end up a circus, don’t chase or fight with a man who doesn’t want to give you what you want or doesn’t view you as worth it or cannot afford to, find a partner who is aligned in your ideas and values and is entirely pleased to provide you what it is you wish.

The beauty of the trend ;

While some people do scrutinize women who are in a healthy 50/50 relationship or women who want to go to work and still be provided for. It’s not about that this trend is about showing women what’s possible, that providing 100% for a man will always lead to you being depleted and drained in every way possible, that the better and healthier relationship is out there and that there are men who would do anything to be with you and keep you and let their actions show as such not just financially but emotionally. Women have said that this trend has shown them their husbands or partners aren’t worth it and that it’s opened them up to a better way of living and has shown them their better off single than with a man who depletes them.

This is about empowering women and I notice this trend goes hand in hand or is the sister to the “women in male fields trend” a trend that showcased women acting like men and talking about what they’d experienced with them, that trend was women saying they were done with that treatment and this trend is about showing women they can do better.

Conclusion ;

Going into 2025, focus on yourself- find out what it is you want.

And if there’s anything you take away from this segment let it be that:

It’s about what you want

50/50 doesn’t make either of you bad

Better is always out there

You are the love of your life

Thank you for reading my first ever segment in the It girls magazine💕💖

WHICH HOLIDAY IT GIRL AM I? ;

are y'all ready to discover what type of it girl you are this holiday season? take this quiz to figure out which festive vibe suits your personality. lets see how ur sleighing this season…💬🎀

1. your ideal holiday party look is:

a) a sparkling, gold sequin-covered dress that’s sure to steal the spotlight

b) a chic velvet jumpsuit with fluffy details and elegant accessories

c) a fluffy sweater with a touch of holiday glam — think sparkly headbands and cute socks

d) a glamorous satin gown in red or emerald green, paired with glamorous makeup and red bottoms

2. what’s your go-to holiday drink?

a) sparkling champagne or a festive glittery mocktail

b) a warm, spiced apple cider

c) pink hot cocoa with extra marshmallows, topped with whipped cream

d) a luxurious holiday latte with hints of peppermint or caramel

3. your favorite way to spend christmas eve is:

a) attending lavish holiday parties, and kissing under mistletoes

b) enjoying a candlelit dinner with close friends or family, and watching cozy christmas movies

c) baking holiday cookies and wrapping gifts while sipping on hot chocolate

d) getting all glammed up for a special dinner and exchanging glamorous gifts with ur girls

4. when decorating for the holidays, you:

a) i go ALL out with sparkly lights, glittery ornaments and a chic color scheme for pinkmas

b) elegant neutral decor with touches of greenery, its classic duh

c) a cozy vibe with diy ornaments, fairy lights, and plaid everything

d) love classic red, green, and white with vintage-style baubles for a traditional yet glamorous feel

5. what's your holiday music playlist vibe?

a) mariah carey’s “all i want for christmas is you” on repeat

b) classic jazz and soft holiday tunes

c) cozy acoustic christmas songs and christmas movie soundtracks

d) holiday hits that make you want to dance like wham and micheal bublé

6. what's your holiday beauty look?

a) bold red lips, highlighter that shines like snow, and glittery eyeshadow

b) soft, glowing skin with a natural glam look — think minimal but chic

c) a cozy but cute look with a bright red lip and simple, glowing skin

d) smokey eyes, dramatic lashes, think holiday bimbo

7. your dream holiday getaway is:

a) a glamorous snowy cabin retreat with hot cocoa and a warm fire, and complete with an evening of glitzy christmas parties

b) a cozy winter escape in the mountains with scenic views and a fireplace

c) a festive city escape, with christmas markets, hot chocolate, and cozy cafes

d) a luxurious tropical resort, giving beachside holiday vibe

results:

mostly a’s: the sparkling diva ✨ you’re all about the glam and sparkle this holiday season! from dazzling sequins to luxurious accessories, you know how to shine brighter than the christmas lights. you love the glitz and glamour of the season and aren’t afraid to make a statement — just like the holiday parties you attend!

mostly b’s: the elegant sophisticate 🥂 you bring class and sophistication to everything you do this holiday season. whether it’s a cozy dinner or a quiet night by the fire, you exude an effortless elegance. this holiday season, you’ll be enjoying luxurious simplicity — think velvet, classic red lips, and timeless decor.

mostly c’s: the cozy glam girl 💖 you’re all about warmth, coziness, and making the season special in your own way. whether it’s baking cookies, wrapping gifts, or cuddling up with your favorite holiday movies, you embrace all things festive and chic. this holiday, it’s about combining comfort and glamour for the perfect holiday vibe!

mostly d’s: the classic glamazon 💅🏼 you’re the definition of classic holiday glamour! whether you’re rocking a satin gown or glamming up your beauty look, you always bring sophistication and style to the season. for you, it’s all about elegant traditions, bold accessories, and a glamorous holiday look that can’t be ignored.

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