#and also because he very much thinks of himself as the protagonist of life so hes like stupidly self assured and stubborn

[fairsweetlonging]

new idea: shen yuan transmigrates into a pidw version with abo dynamics, but he doesn't know about it.

he knows what abo is, but it's so far removed from his expectations that it simply doesn't cross his mind at all. with that, cang qiong is a respectable, upstanding sect, so there is no growling, claiming, scent pushing or primal instinct stuff going on. people also don't mention it, as it's simply not relevant most of the time, and is considered rude to discuss unprompted.

shen qingqiu, of course, is an omega (the characters who make the best omegas are the ones who would hate it the most), but he has suppressed it with his qi for most of his life because he doesn't want to be seen as weak. the other peak lords assume he's a beta.

now, i'm not a traditional abo dynamic fan, but, there is something very appealing to me about the nesting and scenting aspect of it.

it starts out slow and painfully oblivious, with shen yuan assuming cultivators must have a really good sense of smell, and it's simply book logic that every character seems to have a signature scent. all those romance novels always mention characters smelling of pine and flowers and scotch and leather, so this isn't a foreign concept. liu qingge, for instance, is the bai zhan war god, girls fall for him left and right, it's only natural he smells of musk and deep woodsy notes, like the earth after it rains. right?

besides that, shen yuan has always been a homebody who loves his creature comforts, so him getting extra blankets and pillows and soft fabrics for his bed to curl up in isn't odd at all. or him collecting soft pretty things. shen qingqiu already has fans and night pearls and hair ribbons and silky clothes, so nothing changes.

then without-a-cure hits.

the poison breaks down the suppressors that the original shen qingqiu put in place, and his body starts restoring the balance. this worsens the cravings, and sets off his omega instincts.

he gathers more blankets, but it doesn't fill the need, like there's something missing. then liu qingge forgets his outer robe in his house after a meridian cleansing to deal with an emergency, and that robe ends up in his bed. he tries to reason it's a comfort thing—he wore his dad's sweater when he was young and had nightmares, and liu qingge does smell very nice, so is it really that strange that he holds it at night and presses his face against the collar where the scent is the strongest to soothe himself?

his own scent starts to develop as well, much stronger than the mild, watery green tea flavor from before, and people notice.

thing is, though, that there are many formalities and rules of conduct around omegas, one of which is not to bring up their status in any improper or unbidden way. so even though the alpha lords now notice a very distinct omega scent coming off their shixiong, they can't mention it out of societal pressure. so, they don't.

shen yuan still doesn't notice a thing.

the first time liu qingge smells it is during their bi-weekly cleansing session, when shen qingqiu leans in and liu qingge gets a mouthful of green tea, bamboo and honeyed jasmine, soft and sweet and pleased and so very content it sets off his alpha brain and he has to rein himself in before he starts releasing his own pheromones like some inexperienced teenager—

he's only just grown used to their amity and their habit of sharing tea and cakes after the cleansing, but now shen qingqiu is sitting there smiling at him and smelling like—like liu qingge is spoiling him and, making him feel safe...

he doesn't bring it up, downs his tea, and leaves.

meanwhile shen qingqiu keeps happily nesting away, filling his bed with all kinds of soft fabrics, some clothes of other people that he's trying really hard not to think about. everything is going well, binghe just turned sixteen and the girls are calling him an 'alpha', so his little bun is growing well into his protagonist charms! yue qingyuan comes by more often, acting a little strange but shen qingqiu is used to that by now. he looks very bashful offering him a ribbon of his, a pretty silver one that smells of incense and ozone, and shen qingqiu happily accepts it.

one time binghe comes back bruised and scuffed from a fight with bai zhan disciples, and shen qingqiu tsks at the strange smells on him, do those brutes ever bathe?? he rubs his hands over binghe's sleeves to try and get some of it off, and his poor bun must still be in shock because he stares wide-eyed at his shizun. he must also be getting forgetful because shen qingqiu finds that same robe still unwashed a week later in binghe's bedroom.

he also loves it when people brush or play with his hair, it's his favorite part of the evening when binghe helps him take down his hair for the night. the combs feel so nice on his scalp, if he could purr he would! (binghe's heart sobs quietly behind him, in complete disbelief his master is purring at him).

his icy, lofty demeanor has all but shattered, because now every time he tries to act aloof, like when yue qingyuan gives him a present or liu qingge shows up on his doorstep, his sweet, pleased scent betrays him.

the opposite is true, as well, when without-a-cure flares up and he's in pain and his scent goes sour and distressed, even when he's waving everyone off saying he's fine. the entire house smells of burnt tea leaves and ash after a nightmare, and shen qingqiu is very confused when liu qingge comes to pick him up for a meeting but then refuses to leave.

anyway he doesn't find out until after the conference when airplane tells him to keep his acrid scent under control, his house is starting to stink.

[arolesbianism]

Just imagined Bonnie and Fydd hanging out... It's so jover guys I was in the middle of mumbling to myself abt something completely different and went dead silent to envision them talking to eachother in my head

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where instead of Shen Yuan being obsessed with Luo Binghe, he's instead obsessed with the scum villain himself. I mean we all know Bingge is Very Not Good Person™ but you know who else a Very Not Good Person™? Say it with me: Shen Jiu

Like just imagine a timeline where Shen Yuan is writing paragraph after paragraph about how Shen Qingqiu might actually be a good person but Airplane is wasting his potential. The other commenters are saying he's delusional because he abused the protagonist and as all these TERRIBLE allegations towards him. So he's a clear cut villain.

But Shen Yuan is defending his fav with the vigor of a devout worshipper. He's constantly siting parts that are obvious plot holes and how they could give much needed context to Shen Qingqiu's character.

Other people are demanding for worst things to happen to Shen Qingqiu to spite him. Airplane caves. Shen Yuan actively commissions art and fics where Shen Qingqiu is happy. People tell him "Shen Qingqiu won't fuck you bro"

Shen Yuan isn't interested in that. He's a freaky little man with freaky little likes. He'd gladly take Shen Qingqiu's cold glares and even volunteer to have tea poured on him.

When he finishes PIDW, he's been outraged that Shen Qingqiu was killed off a while back. He's even more outraged that Shen Qingqiu wasn't given any mention at the end.

Now, imagine with me that he gets transmigrated into some NPC, literally Unimportant Character No°5. Probably as the head disciple for drama reasons. And as soon as Shen Jiu is brought in, scruffy and hissing as he is. He immediately hugging his thighs and saying he'll be peak lord for sure.

Please follow me into this suspicious alleyway as I continue to explain my vision fueled by sleep deprivation.

So now imagine your Shen Jiu. You're a former street rat and demonic cultivator, you aren't expecting to be liked or respected. You're expecting it, you've come to terms with it a long time ago. What you weren't expecting was for this random ass guy you have to call da-shixiong is immediately insane about you.

He met you first day, literally saw you bite a guy, and immediately started spouting out how you'll be the next peak lord and the absolute envy of Cang Qiong Mountain. You conclude he's missing a few screws because he said it in the most disgustingly sincere way.

You try to continue on with your life, trying to beat him and he looks almost... Excited about you beating him. So he's an M, you think to yourself. But then you see someone trying to beat him or you on something, and this guy immediately gets aggressive. Okay so he's just weird with you.

You continue to deal with him. He's weird but also weirdly respectful. He leaves if you tell him to leave. He defends you like it's his very birth right. He's always there to tend to you as if you were a god. He doesn't touch you and only sits around like a dog waiting for a command.

You eventually get strong enough to beat him, and this absolute buffoon is over the moon about it, already spouting about your supposed success again.

When you actually become peak lord, it isn't surprising. Your hype man has been saying it since day one, he was expecting it for some reason. He continues to spout out nonsense about how he just knew you were going to do it.

So what now? You obviously desire him carnally. What is the next step?

Okay so I know this wouldn't fix them. Almost without question this would make they both worse. But, hear me out, it would be funny. (Especially since just know Shen Yuan's entire inner monologue would be him saying he's just being a good friend as if he isn't being the gayest man in the sect and Shang Qinghua is there. That's an accomplishment to outgay the author)

[canihaveacalmtime]

Usually, those otome isekai troupe would put you either in the position of the villain, villainess, antagonist or just a side character in general. So what if you happened to isekai into an otome game but as the villain's younger sibling who the villain despise so much to the point that you think he hates you even more than he hates the protagonist.

So knowing that in the next 2 years, you going to be kill by your brother, you quickly form a plan to make him stay on calm terms with you by help his plans go smoothly, be more friendly and caring towards him, be useful with informations and more. Within a year, you successfully have him on norm terms with you, no more glaring, no more cursing, lashing, no more this and that.

You felt relieved, really, now that you know you can at least be safe for the time being so the next step in your plan to survive is simply to book it out of there. Yeah, move to another country with the help of your uncle, you wouldn't want to stay and witness what kind of mess your brother would cause to the protagonist and her harem anyway.

You're very sure that he'd be super busy worrying about how to get the protagonist for himself and how to crush the harem down to the lowliest stage of life, he wouldn't even notice your disappearance because you're simply a speck of dust to him.

So when you got a call from your uncle telling you about how he got all the way here and is now finding you got your soul almost left your body in a panic moment. Finding you? What was the villain thinking? You're half glad that your uncle didn't tell your brother where you live but you also worried because he's here in this city and when he's 'finding', until you leave this place, you'd not escape his 'radar'.

Tonight, you have to study over night while having a fever, such a combination already felt so horrible and it's even worse if you start to hear noises of your apartment's front door being open.

"Damn it." You said while half conscious, walking from your bedroom to the living room, you see him standing there with all his glory but you, you don't even react anything. Maybe it's because you feel sleepy or the fever is just a little bit overdose, the last thing to know is yourself being hold back from falling down before fainted.

"My poor (y/n), you can never take care of yourself good, huh. Brother promise to care for you from now on, let's bring you 'back' first."

[pastabaguette]

sorry for all the posts today, but this one is very important: alternian video game edits.

i actually have reasonings for all of their blood types, and a few classpects, so i'll dive into them here:

monika: i'm thinking that early in the game, during acts 1 and 2, she maybe masqueraded as a jadeblood or higher. only during act 3 does she reveal herself as a fuchsia to the protagonist.

gordon and alyx: gordon is probably a tealblood, or somewhere around there. fairly high, but not too high, i think. alyx is an olive, and eli is an indigo. azian was probably a gold. (or lime?) i did have to keep gordon’s orange HEV suit, though. surely you understand. okay, troll half life lore: i think on alternia, all the main characters in the half life franchise are like, olive or above. the rebels in follow freeman and the guards are all lowbloods, so that the player doesn't feel too bad about sacrificing them, or something like that. i think this would be something that would happen in an alternian video game, at least.

agent 47: 47 is actually a mutant, due to being manufactured in a lab. he's a weird ice-blue color. he's still got that piercing stare. i felt a little sad changing his iconic red tie, but i do have some thoughts on that as well. obviously, red in human culture tends to symbolize passion, among other things, and in this case, violence and aggression, because it's the color of blood. however, because trolls all have different blood colors, i think they might have different meanings attached to colors than humans typically do. i think that typically, the colors that would most commonly represent aggression in alternian culture would be blue (cobalt and indigo) and purple. now, i know that the sea dwellers exist, but since the vast majority of trolls are lowbloods, they would have a lot more contact with the land-dwelling highbloods, rather than the fish. so, 47’s tie is blue. (i also just think it looks cool matching his eyes)

chell: I made chell a bronzeblood. she’s a test subject, but not one of the special ones (astronauts, olympians, etc). she’s just another lab rat. (also, a lot of her outfit is orange…)

now for classpects! i only have two i’m sure of as of now:

gordon freeman is an heir of hope. this one is fairly obvious to me. a common belief is that heirs have the ability to become their aspect, in a way. in half life 2, gordon quickly becomes the main symbol of the resistance on earth. for the rebels, he himself IS hope.

agent 47 is a prince of life. again, it’s a common interpretation that princes are themselves void of their aspect, and they destroy that aspect in others. this is really literal, obviously, but as a hitman, 47 kills people. literally destroying life. as for his own lack of life in himself, it’s pretty simple as well. 47 is almost always described as entirely void of emotion and empathy. others often remark on his soulless stare, a lack of life behind his eyes. so, as a prince, he fulfills both criteria there.

holy hell, that was a lot of words. i didn’t intend to talk this much. feel free to add your own thoughts; i’d like to hear what others think. these descriptions were a bit rushed, and i don’t really consider myself to be very good at communicating my thoughts, so a lot of things may have been lost in translation. i’d be happy to try and elaborate on my reasonings for any of them.

(oh, also, please no alyx spoilers. i haven’t played it yet!)

[feline-insolitum]

i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go

LOOK AT HIM!!!

most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing

you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him

but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it

you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.

and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!

i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.

maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place

i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.

that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him

this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.

after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.

this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?

and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown

i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written

[invinciblerodent]

This is going to be very ranty and disjointed, probably borderline incomprehensible post, but with the "return" of Dragon Age Discourse (and really, did it ever go anywhere?) and me repeatedly seeing the complaints and dismissals of DA:I as a "chosen one"-type of a narrative, I just.... I keep finding myself thinking about the relationship of truth and lies within the game.

Throughout the course of DA:I, the idea of a malleable, flexible personal identity, and a painful confrontation with an uncomfortable truth replacing a soothing falsehood, follows pretty much every character throughout their respective arcs.

There are some more obvious ones, Solas, Blackwall, The Iron Bull, their identities and deceptions (of both those around them and themselves) are clearly front and center in the stories told about them, but this theme of deception (both of the self- and the outside world) is clearly present in the stories of the others as well.

Like, for example, ones that come immediately to mind are stories like that of Cullen, who presents an image of a composed and disciplined military man, a commander- all to hide the desperate and traumatized addict that he sees himself as.

Dorian grappled with the expectations of presenting the image of the perfect heir to his father's legacy, the prideful scion of his house, his entire life (he even introduces himself as the result of "careful breeding", like one might speak about a prized horse)- all while knowing that his family would rather see him lobotomized and obedient, than anything even just resembling his vibrant and passionate self.

Cassandra calls herself a Seeker of Truth, and takes pride in that identity- only to learn that in reality, she has been made a liar, a keeper of secrets, without her knowledge or consent, and it is up to her to either uproot the entire organization and painfully cut out the abscess it is to build it back from the ground up into something respectable, or let the information she had revealed sit, and continue to fester.

And this theme continues and reframes itself in, among others, things like Sera's own inner conflict between her elven heritage and her human upbringing, or in Cole being caught in this unconscionable space in-between human and spirit, between person and concept, etc.

The Inquisitor isn't exempt from this either.

I feel like this is where the core of the many misunderstandings of this plot come from, why so many people continue to believe that Inquisition is a "chosen one" or "divinely appointed" type of story, because I think many might just... not realize, that the protagonist's identity is also malleable, and what they are told in the setup/first act of the game is not necessarily the truth.

The tale of the Inquisitor is the exact opposite of that of a "chosen one" story: it's an examination and reflection of the trope, in that it is the story of an assumption that all wrongly believe to be the truth, and thrust upon you, even if you protest. The very point is that no matter who you choose to say that you are, you will be known as the Herald of a prophet you don't even necessarily believe in, and then that belief will be proven wrong, leaving you to cope with either a devastating disappointment if you believed it, or a bitter kind of vindication if you didn't.

There's a moment just after Here Lies the Abyss (when you learn of the lie you've been fed your entire journey in the game) that I don't often see mentioned, but I think it's one of the most emotionally impactful character moments, if you are playing an Andrastian Inquisitor who had actually believed themselves chosen (which I realize is a rather unpopular pick, lol): it's when Ser Ruth, a Grey Warden, realizes what she had done and is horrified by her own deeds, and turns herself in asking to be tried for the murder of another of her order. As far as she is concerned, she had spilled blood for power, and regardless of whether she was acting of her own volition at the time, whether she had agency in the moment, is irrelevant to her: she seeks no absolution, but willingly submits to any punishment you see fit.

And only if you play as an Inquisitor who, through prior dialogue choices, had established themselves as a devout Andrastian, can you offer her forgiveness, for a deed that was objectively not her fault- not really.

You can, in Andraste's name, forgive her- even though you, at that point, know that you have no real right to do so. That you're not Andraste's Herald, that Andraste may or may not even exist, and that you can't grant anyone "divine forgiveness", because you, yourself, don't have a drop of divinity within you. You know that you were no more than an unlucky idiot who stumbled their way into meddling with forces beyond their ken.

You know you're a fraud. You know. The game forces you to realize, as it slowly drip-drip-drips the memories knocked loose by the blast back into your head, that what all have been telling you that you are up to this point, is false. And yet, you can still choose to keep up the lie, and tell this woman who stands in front of you with blood on her hands and tears in her eyes, that you, with authority you don't have, grant her forgiveness for a crime that wasn't hers to commit.

Because it's the right thing to do. Because to lie to Ser Ruth is far kinder than anything else you could possibly do to her, short of refusing to make a decision altogether.

There are any number of criticisms of this game that I can accept (I may or may not agree depending on what it is, but I'm from the school of thought that any interpretation can be equally valid as long as there's text that supports it, and no text that contradicts it), but I will always continue to uphold that the Inquisitor is absolutely not- and never was a "chosen one".

They're just as small, and sad, and lost, as all the other protagonists- the only difference is that they didn't need to fight for their mantle, because instead of a symbol of honor, it acted as a straitjacket.

[sunderwight]

Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.

Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.

Not that they understood that themselves at the time.

I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.

What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.

I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.

Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.

SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!

SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!

SQQ: *suspicious*

SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!

SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!

SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!

SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*

SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*

[allpiesforourown]

Hello..If you don't mind, can I ask your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from SVSSS? And why you loved them? And your top 5 favorite moments from the series?

Also, if you don't mind me asking (again), what do you think are Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe's greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

Okay that would take FOREVER so I'll just do my top 5 fav characters and my fav scenes with them

5. Ning Yingying - she's sooo silly... it was so wonderful being introduced to her and seeing her as a dumb airhead who unknowingly gets people in trouble (the pendant incident) and watching her overtime become someone responsible.

OKAYYYY QUEEN i just know she would run Qing Jing peak like it's the navy.. Also very important to me that although she gets serious when the time calls for it, her personality still has remnants of that silly girl we were first introduced to (for example during the return to childhood extra where she assumes a grown ass child is Shen Yuan's baby)

4. Original Luo Binghe

i could spend HOURS talking about how tragic his life was but honestly my reason for liking him as a character is really simple. He gets horny for people who are nice

The fact that he knew the original goods for YEARS and then Shen Yuan gave him cuddles and Bingge went "wait actually Shen Qingqiu is kind of hot??" Real as fuck . I just know after he returned to his world it was like

Bingge: you would be sexier if you were sweet and kind

Sha Hualing: im sorry do you KNOW who you're asking this of

3. Shang Qinghua is... way too real. I feel like everyone can relate to him, especially with how terrible the world is right now. He can't do anything to go against the plot he himself wrote. He's the painful mixure of "if only I had done that differently" and "I can't do anything at all" that everyone experiences.

Moments like this, such as Shang Qinghua interrupting Bingqiu's honeymoon really make his character even more tragic. Without Mobei-Jun, he doesn't really have a place to go... he didn't take the offer to return to his homeworld because there was no one waiting for him there. Even when he's having dinner with his friend, he knows he can't ask for more because sticking around would annoy Binghe. Just kind of wandering around alone and seeing other people be happy together and have a place to go sucks ://

2. My second favourite scene and my second favourite character: Luo Binghe

This scene really made me love SVSSS because it's so rare to find media where characters are actually allowed to be human and insecure. Like I know we call Binghe manipulative and toxic (and he is!) but EVERYONE has at some point in their life felt like they hate them self and no one loves them.

The fact that Luo Binghe has these emotions and they're relevant to the plot is so special to me. It's so disillusioning when a character goes through trauma after trauma and it's never talked about. Binghe going "shizun I hate myself and I want to end the world about it" was just.. *chef's kiss*

My favourite scene byfar: Shen Yuan hugging Binghe in Shen Jiu's memories

I think this was the final nail in the coffin for making me love Shen Yuan.

For all that he insists, "I'm just farming points so the protagonist won't kill me!" when he's put in a situation like this, he's more loving than ever. He can't touch Binghe, but all he wants to do is wipe his tears. It pains him so much to see his dear disciple hurt and vulnerable that he can't do anything but kneel down and try to hug an image of the past. He knows Binghe can't hear him but still tries to comfort him.

"Shizun will never hit you again." is a line that absolutely makes me go crazy, because Shen Yuan was never the one who hit Binghe, that was the original goods. He doesn't care if Binghe knows that it wasn't him who hurt him. All he cares about is making sure Binghe knows it will never happen again, and that Shen Yuan will love and protect him.

Shen Yuan tries so sooo hard to come across as a "reasonable" character but he can't hide how sentimental and emotional he is. He'll complain about how the characters in PIDW don't use their brain, but then you show him a memory of a crying child and say "this happened in the past and there's nothing you can do about it" and he'll still try to hug that child and tell them to stop crying and that they'll be okay. God I love Shen Yuan

[lost-romantique]

The Needs of Both these Messy Gays~

I just want to make a point and state that I'm not attacking or pitting both these guys against each other. They're dumbasses, the both of them.

Blitz is someone that is going to need constant reassurance when he's in a relationship.

Being told the words "I love you" scares the fuck out of him because he doesn't trust those words of love.

At the same time, romantic gestures don't work on him because he's always going to assume the worst.

"And then, he'll call me to see how my day was! And he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and LAUGH AT MY JOKES—"

Blitz is someone that has used his body and sex as a way to get what he wants. But his relationship to sex is one of the reasons why he's unable to trust those romantic gestures.

Blitz constantly seeks reassurance, and he asks Stolas for that reassurance a LOT throughout Full Moon and Apology Tour...

"Am I not, like, fucking you good enough? Because I-I can always- I can always do better--"

Blitz immediately asks Stolas for reassurance that he's good enough, and that if he isn't good enough, he makes it a point to tell Stolas that he can do better.

Stolas responds to Blitz saying he cares very deeply for him, but being told he's cared about doesn't give him the reassurance he needs.

Blitz asks for reassurance twice from Stolas in Apology Tour...

"This whole thing we had going... I'm- I mean you're a fucking prince. How could you ever actually care for an imp... Me? How could anybody?"

"Stolas, you are better off without me. 'Kay? You deserve so much... I don't even know why you would want to be with me."

Stolas never says anything really wrong in his responses to Blitz, and I think Blitz himself needed to here that. BUT if Stolas were to make one mistake, it would be that he states that he wants somebody / anybody.

Blitz doesn't reach out to Stolas because of his issues in intimacy, and because Blitz himself hasn’t been given the reassurance that he's the one Stolas wants.

Do you know who does give Blitz the reassurance that he's needed? Millie.

Millie is able to give concrete examples to Blitz on how he made an impact on her life.

In fact, Millie states that Blitz is the reason that everything she has in her life is thanks to him being unapologetically himself.

"He gave me so much: a career, a husband, a future, and now... he's my best friend."

The moment Millie gives Blitz the example of how much she values him as a person and as a friend, Blitz immediately asks for reassurance...

"You... you don’t hate me?"

And Millie automatically says, "Nah, never."

The moment Blitz is given the reassurance that he isn't hated by Millie, he opens up, he becomes vulnerable.

Blitz allows Millie to comfort him, and Blitz initiates that intimacy with Millie to which she obliges.

What's beautiful about this exchange is that there isn't anything remotely sexual about it. This is just one friend comforting another friend in need.

Blitz asks for reassurance again in the form of a question...

And the moment Millie reaffirms that sentiment, Blitz opens up and shows Millie the real him.

Not the fuckboy facade, not the mask he wears... this is the REAL Blitz...

Blitz also shows incredible growth by not deflecting to jokes like he usually does, but instead by being honest with Millie...

Blitz promises to Millie that he'll stop impeding on her marriage

Blitz states in the most subtle way that he has feelings for Stolas

Stolas needs to be told that he's cared for and that he's loved by someone.

He's also someone that seeks romantic affection in the form of compliments, and big and small romantic gestures mean the world to him as well.

Blitz unknowingly makes Stolas’s romantic fantasies come true...

A rogue assassin comes into his bedroom to "scale the walls" and he acts like he wants Stolas a lot.

This man is attractive, he is literally the protagonist of a romance novel. His boldness and confidence is alluring. He is a dream come true and he's here to take what's his.

This man just literally sweeps Stolas off his feet, and he still does this while giving you the most smug grin.

Blitz throws Stolas to the bed, and gives him ultimate rizz in the form of this shit eating grin.

And the moment Blitz bites his neck, Stolas is so fucking into it he creams himself.

Blitz is so good actually, extremely good in being bold, confident, and sexy. He knows how to unravel Stolas. *cough*

In fact, the moment Blitz catches him, Stolas is smitten and he is down bad.

To Stolas, this is a big romantic gesture. This is a motherfucking dream come true for Stolas because, "OMG THIS HOT ASS MAN JUST FUCKING SAVED ME!"

But Blitz isn't a romantic, he's not good at showing romantic affection in small ways, and that's what screws him over.

Stolas wants and actively seeks the smallest bit of reassurance and comfort that Blitz can provide, whether it be through text and or in other small ways.

This motherfucking birb, this dumbass Prince, even when he has every right to be angry at Blitz for the shit he said to him, still wants Blitz to hold him. In fact, he makes him hold him.

Stolas is so fucking cute, being all like, "I'm mad at you, but I still demand you hold me."

"You wanna know what I want? I want to know what it's like, to not be alone. I want to be someone's someone. I want to feel wanted. But like, in a romantic way, like I'm standing out in the rain at a train station and someone is shouting: “Harriet! Don’t get on that train, it’s going to London and I cannot be without you!”

Harriet the Train is a big romantic gesture. Stolas likes big romantic gestures, and Blitz is really good at doing actions that are big and bold.

Blitz has made Stolas feel wanted in The Circus and he makes him feel protected in Seeing Stars. Blitz knows how to be big.

Stolas doesn't need Blitz to perform Harriet the Train, but can he? Oh fuck yes he can.

"The point is, I just... want someone to care if I stay or go. I want someone to want... me! To want to see me. To hold me. To look at me and think "You're the only one I want!" [sheds tears] "I desire to hold you and talk to you, and never let you feel so..."

This is what Stolas wants from someone right now. He wants to feel wanted in the small ways, he wants to be held, he wants someone to talk to him, to make him feel not so alone.

Right now, at this very moment, Stolas needs the small stuff. He needs the small bits of intimacy that Blitz is not in the right headspace to provide in Apology Tour.

Do you know who gives Stolas what he needs at the moment? Better than Blitzo guy.

He's smooth and charming in a different way from Blitz. He doesn't even look at Blitz, actually, his eyes are only on Stolas.

"Great song earlier. You have great pipes."

He compliments Stolas on his singing, and Stolas is happy to be given a compliment.

BTB than asks Stolas to dance, and Stolas is both surprised and in disbelief.

Stolas is so happy and genuinely has an amazing time dancing with BTB, he even goes out of his way to use his wings to give Stolas a spin.

BTB even performs a big romantic gesture of pulling Stolas into a sloppy wet kiss, to which Stolas happily reciprocates.

I think both these idiots have the potential to be what the other really needs, and I honestly think with proper communication they can have the most beautiful relationship.

[can-of-w0rmz]

My thoughts on Frankenstein can basically be summed up in, “Victor is a dickhead but at least he’s not an incel,” and “The Creature is a dickhead but at least he’s not a rich prick”.

To this day “ermmm Victor/Creature is the innocent guy and (X other character) is the bad guy achtually 🤓☝️” takes make me so fucking mad. THEY BOTH SUCK, AND THEYRE BOTH STILL SYMPATHETIC PROTAGONISTS. THATS THE POINT OF THE FUCKING BOOK😭

Also people who think Victor was the bad guy for refusing to make the Bride and going “huh, maybe making a creature for the sole purpose of suffering and fucking you is really fucked up and not my place at all actually?” legitimately need their fucking heads checked because do you genuinely have zero reading comprehension or life experience??? Can you read a book? Can you understand basic themes and concepts? Are you actually stupid?

Victor is a terrible guy for being self absorbed enough to cheat God and nature itself, creating a being that was never meant to be born and inflicting immense suffering on it by the nature of it existing in a way that fundamentally can not be balanced out — following the Christian influences and background in which the novel was written at the time, Victor is not God, he can’t offer the creature salvation or in any way metaphysically balance out his suffering, so he just introduces him to a life of a living hell by his own design and by the nature of the fact that Victor is just a man, and the Creature himself is terrible because the nihilism inherent to his condition as Victor’s creation turns him into a murderous incel who wants to just further the suffering Victor caused, because if he can’t be happy, nobody should, so he kills every innocent bystander who Victor loved and demands that he makes him a woman like Eve who’s equal to him in suffering, who exists for the sole purpose of being his, who was created to be his.

And Victor says no, because he has actual character development and realises it isn’t his place (also, very likely mirroring his engagement to Elizabeth if you kinda follow the same reading as me that Victor never really loved her romantically and felt forced into the marriage because of his mother), which, shock horror, makes Victor a more likeable protagonist, because again, shockingly, he’s actually a pretty good guy in this one situation making a really good moral decision for once by saying “yeah I’m not going to create a woman whose sole purpose in life is to fuck you and suffer as much as you, also what if she doesn’t want to fuck you???”

Are people allergic to the concept of character development or something?? Are people allergic to multifaceted complex characters?? You feel terrible for the creature because of what Victor has done to him by bringing him into existence, and you feel terrible for Victor because of how doomed he is (in the worst way, it’s not just him suffering, he has to watch everyone he loves being forced to suffer because of him) by his one mistake and how he doesn’t have any way to fix it. A creation with no God, and a Man with the weight of God upon him because of his own mistake. They’re both doomed. That’s why it’s so good, THE BOOK IS A FUCKING TRAGEDY WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR SOME PEOPLE TO GRASP???😭

[maximumqueer]

I think there are a couple of reasons why there is so much "controversy" (if you can even call it that) surrounding chapter 1118. Part of it is just misogyny. There are unfortunately a lot of misogynistic fans in shonen spaces, and One Piece is no exception. They don't like that a girl gets a cool power up, especially if its similar at all to the male protagonist, who has to be depicted as cooler and more powerful than every other character (but especially the women) at all times.

And that mindset bleeds into the the second reason. Being that the people mad at this chapter (in my opinion) don't really understand One Piece as a story. They treat it as a more stereotypical shonen, when in it far from that, and Luffy as a stereotypical shonen protag, when he is anything but. Some of the complaints that I've seen directed at Bonney's Nika-like form is that it robs Luffy of what makes him special as a character and undermines the importance of Gear 5/Nika.

To tackle the first part, Luffy's power set has never been what has made him special. We've seen already that devil fruits can have similar abilities. Monet and Aokiji both have ice based powers, Catarina Devon and Bon Clay can both mimic how other people look. Hell, we've already seen a devil fruit user with similar powers to Luffy in the form of Katakuri, and I don't remember fans being angry about that. Luffy isn't the only person to awaken his fruit, nor is the only person to have awakened the Nika fruit. And he won't be the last, because that's how devil fruits work. When Luffy dies, the Nika fruit will respawn and someone else will carry on the name of Nika. This is even more obvious with haki. At least half of the characters Luffy has fought in the New World had conqueror's haki, just like him. What does make Luffy special is who he is as a person. It's his ability to reignite hope in people. His nigh unwavering belief in both his own and others dreams, and his ability to inspire that belief in others.

As for it undermining Gear 5. Luffy's awakening has always been about freedom, but not just for himself. Nika is a god of liberation, not personal freedom. If anything, Luffy being able to instill such a deep and profound sense of freedom into a person that they are able to take on a Nika-like form FURTHERS its importance, especially thematically.

Its also is worth mentioning that Bonney's Nika transformation is the perfect culmination of her and Kuma's arc. For a young girl, who spent the majority of her life trapped inside because of a terminal illness brought on at the hands of the world nobles, whose father - in order to cure her so she could have freedom - sold his body to the world government (after previously escaping enslavement by the very same people). For her to achieve complete and total freedom, and for Kuma to be there to see it, to know that in the end he succeeded, and that his daughter is now wholly and truly free - having taken the form of the god he worshipped - is beautiful. Is the perfect way to bookend both of their arcs.

(Also Luffy literally ENCOURAGED Bonney to take on her Nika form. And he laughs with delight when she is successful. He is HAPPY for her.)

All this to say, Bonney's Nika form is fucking awesome and I can't wait to see her and Luffy kick ass together in the next chapter.

[strawwiibernyy]

Ice Prince - Park S.

__________________

[Prince!Sunghoon x Princess!Reader]

warnings! suggestive, cursing, family issues, violence (a slap), other idols mentioned (yuna, wonyoung).

words: 6k

╰┈➤ You didn’t choose to be a princess. All you wanted was to be free, but that would never happen. Especially now, that they chose you among the ten princesses battling for Park Sunghoon. Everyone feared him, expect you. Will you be able to warm the prince’s cold heart?

__________________

Park Sunghoon is South Korea's most handsome prince.

Everyone knew him for his perfect face, decorated by beauty marks. Also his nice shaped body, taller than most boys at his age. A lot of princesses had fallen into his mysterious trap. However, that wasn't the case with you.

You disliked Park Sunghoon. In your eyes, he was a cold-hearted prince who looked down upon others because of his handsome face. His grades were average and his social skills poor. So what was Park Sunghoon other than a handsome face?

And to think that you were chosen as one of the ten princesses to become his future wife was even worse.

Hours and hours, you were sitting at your castle's library, reading the same romance novels over and over again. You were jealous of the protagonists's freedom, while your entire life was in the hands of your parents.

You didn't want to disappoint them. That's why you followed every rule. However, there were times you wanted to escape.

Every time you would step a foot outside of the kingdom, your father would yell at you. At the age of five, you received your first punishment.

"When will you understand that you are a princess? You are not allowed to do anything before I tell you to!" He shouted, his hand coming in contact with your cheek. A loud slap was heard, marking a big print on you.

The moment you left the room, you noticed people were standing outside. First, your maid looking at you with pitiful eyes. On the other hand, your two older brothers were red from their anger. However, they should know better than to go against the king. Your father.

"Ready?" Your maid asked, snapping you out of your thoughts. In your mind, the man you would marry would love you so much that he would sacrifice himself for you. But which prince in their right mind would sacrifice themselves for a stranger?

"I think so." A sigh left your mouth, twirling around the mirror. You weren't a teenager anymore. Now you were eighteen years old and ready to fight for your marriage.

The dark blue dress you were wearing played around with the wind and a smile overtook your lips. Your hair was curled and pulled half up-half down. You looked gorgeous. But for the wrong guy.

"Oh, come on!" Your maid said, noticing your sadness behind your eyes. "Park Sunghoon is extremely handsome and the wealthiest out of all them. Any princess should be thankful to God for having a change with him."

"Yes, till he starts completely ignoring her." You turned around to look at the older women, leaning back on the small table behind you. "When I met him at eleven years old, I thought he was mute. Handsome, but very antisocial. Oh, and very prideful!"

"Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice was also like that, but you didn't seem to mind it." She mentioned, and you both giggled at her comment. You lowered your head in defeat, hearing your favorite character’s name.

"Alright. Ready now?" She asked one last time, opening your bedroom's door.

"Ready."

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

"Your highness, we have arrived." The man on the horses said, giving them a last whip. You frowned at the harsh action, and suddenly your door was open. You had to abandon the carriage that protected you.

With one step on the ground, you felt your heart beat raise dangerously. You mustn't feel so eager to see Sunghoon's pretty face, but you are.

"Your highness." The only bodyguard who was accompanying you stretched out his hand. Placing your palm on his strong shoulder instead, he curled it back to him.

Numerous voices had already filled the palace, and you had arrived five minutes earlier. The tall door in front of you was open, two guards at each side of it. They bowed when you stepped foot, and you gave them a smile.

The place was enormous. Nothing like the rest of the palaces you had visited. You knew Sunghoon's kingdom was the wealthiest, yet you weren't ready for what you were about to see.

The walls were light brown, while gold details were decorating it. A line of flowers hung on the celling, creating a cross with the other one which started from the other side.

Lastly, a big white-clothed table was next to the door. Your stomach groaned seeing the delicious food, and you decided to pay it a visit.

"Ah, he is gonna choose her for sure!" A woman next to you at the table said. She was holding a glass of red wine, drinking small sips here and there. The other women in front of her had signifying cat eyes.

"Don't say that. You are like one of the prettiest princesses in South Korea as well." The cat-eyed women comforted her, taking a sip from her white wine. None was eating like you did, and the bread in your hand fell back down when you noticed it.

"Not when she is here!" The complaining women replied, pointing at someone with her finger. Your eyes went by themselves in the direction, curiosity washing over you.

And you recognised the princess by the minute you led eyes on her. Jang Wonyoung. The most beautiful princess of South Korea.

Her parents, along with Sunghoon's ones, had already decided a long time ago to pair them together. Their unmatched beauty and witty mind would create the perfect future kingdom.

That's when you realized that this ball was only typical. The wife had already been chosen, the rest of you had come here for the humiliation.

"Welcome people. I am so delighted with your visit to celebrate together my son's twenty birthday." The king of the palace took everyone's attention, and the once loud room fell silent.

"And, of course." He continued. "To find his future wife." The man was sitting at the throne at the back of the room. Next to him was his wife, and then Sunghoon.

The king was so sure about his first son that he didn't make more like the rest of the kings usually did. Sunghoon's cold gaze found his father, and then his guests.

His eyes alone made you shiver. It was like an invisible armor protected him, making him feel better than others. Well, more sure than others. He had the face, and that's all he needed to win.

"The dance may start!" And with that, the piano began playing. And the violin next to it joined as well. The eyes of the ten princesses for Park Sunghoon, were on him.

He must choose a princess to dance with.

People hadn't started yet to feel the music. All eager and curious about his decision. Sunghoon's eyes wondered around the princesses. Starting from the first till the last. However, he gave clues with his gaze which stopped a bit on certain ones.

And guess what, his eyes almost completely skipped you. He was quick to move to the one next to you, not even moved by your friendly smile. You scoffed under your breath, and the princess next to you heard it.

"I know, right?" The women who was complaining from before whispered to you. Now that you could take a proper look at her, you saw how pretty she actually was. And you also finally recognized her.

"Princess Yuna, you are prettier than her." And you didn't lie. In your eyes, she was gorgeous. Shin Yuna smiled at you, her face titling to the side.

"Thank you!" Was all she replied and turned back to Sunghoon. You felt a little annoyed that she didn't return the compliment, but you brushed it off.

"Jang Wonyoung."

"Perfect! Let's dance!" Wonyoung's smile reached her ears, rushing to the black-haired prince. He didn't return the smile. He stayed cold like always.

"Of course the ice prince would choose her. We can't compete against Wonyoung." Yuna turned to you again, her previous smile long gone.

"Wait, how did you call him?"

"Ice prince. You didn't know? Everyone calls him like that." No, it was your first time hearing it. However, a tiny smile creeped on your lips. 'Yes, the nickname suited him perfectly.' you thought.

"Yuna, what do you say for a walk around the garden?" You asked, wanting to leave the crowded room. Even if you didn't like Sunghoon's personality, your chest hurt to see him dancing with another princess.

"Yes, please!"

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

"He is a dick!" Yuna suddenly shouted, your eyes becoming wide. "But a very handsome dick." She sighed and furrowed when she noticed your surprised state. "What? Princesses can't curse? My father is not here anyway. I can do whatever I want."

She scoffed and started walking towards a bench. It was outside of the ballroom, and the music flew through the walls. You clenched your jaw, pictures of Sunghoon and Wonyoung flying back in your mind. And Yuna seemed to have the same memories, because her eyes became watery.

"No, Yuna-"

"Are we really that average next to Jang Wonyoung?!" She shouted, her hands shaped into fists. You didn't know what to reply. Yuna was breaking down in front of you and all you could do was stare. But after that, she felt better.

She cried a few tears, yet after that she was so happy. Her suppressed emotions escaped her chest. Now she was back in her calm state, a small smile on her lips.

Maybe if you express those emotions too, you wouldn't feel that hurt.

"But he is so handsome-"

"And what? What else is he?" You stood up from the bench and Yuna's eyes got wide. "He is nothing more than a handsome face. It's really annoying how he thinks he rules the world because he was born pretty. But you know what? He is dump and boring!"

"No Y/N-"

"His face doesn't cover for his falling grades and his poor etiquette skills. He is rude to everyone and looks us down. But you know what? Park Sunghoon is the dump one for thinking his face can solve anything!"

"Y/N stop-"

"Someone has to bring that ice prince back into reality! Make him realize that he is nothing else than a rude asshole!"

"Ice prince?" The male voice behind you made you froze. Yuna stood up, big-eyed, to see the man behind you. Looking at Yuna, frightened, she nodded at you, and you didn't want anything else to understand who was behind you.

"Prince Sunghoon." Yuna bowed, raising up the edges of her dress. Slowly turning around, you took some steps back, realizing how actually close he had come. His hands were interlocked behind his back, while his head had leaned down at your height.

Your breath got caught at the back of your throat seeing him. Maybe you were lucky enough, and he hadn't heard his name. However, his gaze told you something different. It wasn't his cold, usual one.

He was burning your face with his dark brown orbs. Every part of it turning into ash. You swallowed a hard knot down your neck, not daring to compete against his intense eye contact.

"And who are you exactly?" He asked, a teasing tone hiding in his voice. You couldn't believe in your unluckiness. The one moment you decided to talk. Yuna minutes before was saying even harsher things, yet now she was silent in front of him.

"I asked you a question." He repeated when your mouth stayed close. You wanted to ask him what was he doing out here. Wasn't he supposed to dance with his future wife? But clearly in the situation you were, you couldn't even form a word.

"P-princess Y/L Y/N."

"Mmh." He hummed in approval, straightening his back. His eyes looked at you up and down with his usual critical gaze. His chin was raised, looking down at you like he was doing to everyone.

"Um, I-i am sorry." Suddenly Yuna interrupted, going to stand in front of me. "I am princess Shin Yuna. My kingdom is-"

"I don't care." His words shut Yuna's mouth, a gasp escaping from her. Even if you could only see her back, you could imagine her glittery eyes. She wanted to marry Park Sunghoon more than anyone else, despite her prior words.

Sunghoon took the road back to the ballroom, leaving me and Yuna behind. Yuna spun around, her jaw hanging open. You didn't look at her, your eyes instead on the grass. The humiliation from before wasn't enough. When he almost completely skipped you.

You were sure that you were the princess he had noticed the least. He didn't even know you, or your name. And after your words, he wouldn't even consider you as a friend.

"The ceremony is starting soon. We should go." Yuna informed you, and you nodded. The ceremony in which Park Sunghoon will pick the princess he wants to be with. The princess that is going to accompany him from now on till forever.

The ten princesses were in line in front of him, while his parents sat at the thrones behind him. He knew what he should do. Jang Wonyoung was smiling warmly at him. She knew too.

"So, my son. Which princess are you choosing to create memories with and born the next king after you?" The king said, a smile on his lips. They knew already the results. Yet his final answer shocked everyone.

"Princess Y/L Y/N."

"What?!"

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

"Welcome to our palace, your highness." A butler said, pushing open the door. You could tell from everyone's expression that they didn't expect you here.

"Your room is next to the prince's. Let us settle your things." The butler took from your hands roughly the suitcase, rushing with the maid up the stairs.

Your maid had informed you that the palace had been deep cleaning since yesterday morning. The glasses were glittering against the sunlight and the floor was still slippery.

All those preparations. Yet they weren't for you. They had made a deal and Sunghoon broke it. People probably still wonder what you are doing here instead of Wonyoung. But to be honest, you didn't know what you were doing here either.

"You arrived." The queen acknowledge you, her son standing behind her. You bowed at her majesty, nodding at her words. Your gaze immediately went on Sunghoon, whose stone cold expression never left his face.

"Sunghoon, once our maid is done, you shall show her the bedroom. We choose the best one for you."

"Thank you so much, appreciate it." And with that, the queen left. Now you and Sunghoon could talk freely, without hiding behind your masks.

"Why did you choose me?" You hurried to ask him. Judging from his face, he was waiting for that question. It stayed exactly the same, not a muscle moved. It had already become tiring trying to read past him.

"Not even a good morning, or a bow?" He asked ironically, stepping closer. Whatever you did, it felt like he was above you. The power he held was stronger than anyone's and it made you weak on your knees.

"Good morning. Why did you choose me?" You repeated, and he frowned at the pressure. 'A good achievement for a starter.' you thought. "I-i mean, I said a-all those things."

"That's none of your business." He was quick to end the conversation, not giving you any more space. It felt so weird. Minutes before, the dress you were wearing was enough to warm you, yet now it felt too light.

He was really the ice prince.

"Prince Sunghoon." The maid from before came down, gaining Sunghoon's attention. He took some steps back from you, turning towards her. "Her room is ready."

Your nose scratched in annoyance at the maid. She was in a lower class that you, but she called you 'her'. Even the workers here didn't want you.

It made you sad. Your chest was heavy as you walked up the stairs, trailing behind Sunghoon. You would live here alone, without even your dear maid or your brothers. Here, everyone hated you.

'Sunghoon, I hate you.'

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

Life with Sunghoon was better than you thought. On the first days, you cried yourself to sleep. Gripping the blankets, trying to drown your sobs. However, as the time passed, people seemed to get more comfortable with you here. Sunghoon as well.

"You play the piano too?" His long fingers gently pushed on the piano's buttons, creating the melody that was currently entertaining you.

You had gone to the library to pick up a romance novel. Something good to pass your time, since Sunghoon wasn't the most talkative person. His schedule was full anyway, so you barely saw him through the day.

This moment was one of the few ones that you caught a glimpse of Sunghoon. A piano was laying across the library, next to the bookshelf that contained your favorite novels.

"Of course I do. Every prince should know at least two instruments." He replied, taking his eyes off of the piano for a moment to look at you. "You don't?" His gaze travelled up and down, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Um, my father made me learn harp, but I must admit I am not good at it." You scratched the back of your neck, an awkward smile on your lips.

Suddenly, you felt self-conscious about your lack of knowledge. Usually you didn't fear admitting that you only played piano. Instead, you supported your unusual decision.

However, seeing how perfect was Sunghoon, made you feel worthless for him.

"Alright." Was the only thing he said, turning back to his work. Seeing him so peacefully hitting the notes made your stomach twirl. The sunlight was caressing his face. But its warmth annoyed him and he closed the curtain.

"W-what are you doing?" Your figure slipped next to his, pushing him aside a little to sit next to him. Your bodies were stuck together at the small seat, your bare arm brushing against his clothed one.

Your finger tapped on the button, creating a noise. Once you got more comfortable, you began playing normally. You tried to copy Sunghoon's prior melody, waiting for him to join you. Yet that moment never came.

Sunghoon could feel his heart beating fast. It was the first time another person made him feel nervous. He was used to making others feel uncomfortable with just his presence. Now his cheeks were on fire, and the fear that you would notice got over him.

He stood up, turning his back to you in order to hide himself. That's when you realized what you had done. You stood up as well, looking at his back.

"I-i am sorry." You said, not knowing what to do. "Continue playing. I am gonna find a book." You rushed back to the shelves, before you could hear what Sunghoon had to say to you.

This was not good. You had started liking Sunghoon, and it was not good.

Going back to your room, you made a promise to yourself.

'Don't fall for Park Sunghoon.'

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

The promise soon enough broke when today's incident happened.

"I am sorry. Do you know where prince Sunghoon is?" You stopped a maid, placing a hand on her shoulder. She was holding a basket of dirty clothes against her right hip. Glancing at them, you recognised the suit as Park Sunghoon's.

"Yes, he currently takes a bath, your highness."

"Alright, thank you so much." You let her go, sighing to yourself. The butler had told you to call Park Sunghoon, because they have to talk about something.

Going down to inform him about where the prince was, he replied that it was okay. He even mentioned that once he was out, it would be a pleasure for him to call Sunghoon down.

So that's what you did. You waited some minutes and went up to his room.

First knock, nothing. Second knock, nothing. Your hands began to sweat, thinking that maybe you should wait for him down. However, the door opened without needing Park Sunghoon.

'He had left it open? Or the maid from before?'

Taking slow steps inside, you looked around. It was empty, and the running water indicated that he was still showering. With that on mind, you should have left. But instead, you walked further to his room.

It was way bigger than yours. His bed was in the center of the room and next to each side was one small table. To the one in the left had a candle and a letter. The one on the right was empty.

Your fingertips brushed on the letter, feeling the hard paper. It was plain white and already opened. The paper from inside was peaking, begging you to read it.

You bit down on your lip, shaking off the sinful thoughts. One step back to exit his room, only for you to rush back in. The water was still running. Maybe you had time. You wouldn't read it whole, just the name of the sender.

What strange power had pushed you to do that? Any second Sunghoon could walk in, and then all those friendly feelings would vanish. But you shouldn't care, you don't like him anyway.

Then if you don't, why your heart dropped at the name?

"Jang Wonyoung?"

"What are you doing here?" You hadn't noticed how the water was no longer heard. The letter flew out of your hands, falling on the floor instead of the table you were aiming for.

Sunghoon was right in front of you. Only a towel hanging around his waist. Water was still dripping down his body, caressing his hard abs.

You knew Sunghoon was very fit. He did horse riding every day and practiced dancing three times a week. Your gaze wouldn't leave his figure when his clothes were too tight on his body. Plus points if he was wearing a white shirt.

A lot of fantasies had taken over your head at the sight of him. Imagining how his body looked like under those heavy clothes. And how his skin would feel under your hand.

"Sunghoon!" You covered your eyes, cheeks red as dirty thoughts filled your head. On the other hand, Sunghoon didn't mind that you saw him like this. He even seemed to enjoy your flustered state. You swore you could see a smirk growing before closing your eyes.

That made your will to open them bigger. You were so eager to see Sunghoon pull off another expression. Actually, that was your only comfort and entertainment here. But now you were guilty, and your eyes wouldn't open.

"What is that?" He asked, the smirk from his lips dropping. His attention went on the letter scattered on the floor and his eyebrows furrowed. "Did you read it?"

"No, I swear! I-i am so sorry. Your butler asked me to call you and-" You stopped once you felt his hot breath hitting your neck. Your eyes were still closed, yet the warmth he brought you burned into your skin.

'Could the ice prince be more than just a cold prince?'

The water drops from his hair landed on your face, rolling down from your cheek till your jaw. Your fingers parted, leaving a small line open. Only to make eye contact with Sunghoon. His bored eyes were gazing into yours.

He lowered his body down. Right hand holding the towel, while the other going down with him. Your hands left your face, seeing his fingers hold the letter. 'Oh no.'

"Are you sure you didn't?" He asked once again, standing up to wave the letter in your face. You could see it from his eyes. He didn't believe you. However, you wouldn't let your guard down. You swallowed a hard knot, your eyes pinned on the floor.

"Y-yes."

"Did you see who send it?"

"N-no."

"Stop lying." He came closer to you, his fingers brushing the skin of your hands. It was meaningless to lie to him. He already knew the truth. Sunghoon had seen how fast your eyes went by the letter. And how wide they got once you saw her name.

"Y-yes. I am sorry." A breathy giggle left from his chest. Looking out of the window, then back at you while licking his lips. The smirk came back. Oh, how much more it suited him than his bitter expression.

"And what? Are you jealous?" It was happening. There were all the signs. His head leaning closer to yours, then titling it to the side. Plump lips coming closer to yours, until you pushed him away.

"I am so sorry. I am going now!"

You didn't want to disappoint your parents, but the freedom tasted better. Settling for your parents' standards wouldn't bring that. Maybe that's the moment you have been waiting for.

Rushing back in your room, you reminded yourself of the promise you had made.

'I won't let myself fall into the ice prince's trap.'

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

"My butler advised me that we should sleep together tonight."

"What?!" A shout escaped your mouth at his words. After what happened yesterday in his bedroom, you were scared to even talk to him.

The maids had noticed that too. Every time Sunghoon tried to approach you, your body moved away. And every time he questioned you, and you couldn't escape the conversation, your reply would contain only one word. That word was either yes or a no.

You could see from Sunghoon's face that he was getting annoyed. When you ignored him, he would frown or clench his jaw. You admitted it that you felt bad for him. But involving yourself with him would result in unwanted emotions.

Sunghoon opened his bedroom's door, stepping aside to let you in. After his butler's demand, you couldn't do anything other than follow. It would be very suspicious for a couple to not want to sleep together.

"I am gonna change. Please settle yourself as I do." He said, disappearing into the bathroom. The room had stayed the same since last time. Simple and neat. Expect that the letter on the small table was gone.

He must have hidden it in his drawers. After you noticed it, he couldn't do anything else. But you wondered why would he choose you if he wanted Wonyoung instead. Or maybe he choose you, but regretted it?

It doesn't matter. You don't like him in reality as well. And tonight, you will prove it once again. At least that was your first plan.

"You can go change. I am ready." Sunghoon stepped out of the bathroom, revealing his pajamas. It was the first time you saw him in something other than his prince's suit. And he still looked gorgeous. Dark blue satin pajamas, covering him from head to toe.

Seeing his pajamas, you were too shy to wear yours. It was a cute night wear dress. Pink with lace at the edges. At least it reached down your knees, and it wasn't that short. However, one wrong move on the bed and it would ride up.

You swallowed a gulp, slowly stepping out of the bathroom. Sunghoon was sitting at the edge of the right side, a book in his hands. When he heard the door cracking, he raised his gaze to you. And his cheeks reddened.

He froze in place, eyeing you up and down. You had crossed your hands behind your back, your gaze firmly down. You let his eyes wonder on you, and you shifted awkwardly.

"Um, on w-which side of the bed you sleep?" He asked after clearing his throat. You noticed he had already claimed the right side, so you replied left.

"No, it's alright. You can continue reading." You said, watching Sunghoon closing the book and leaving it aside.

"No, I had finished the chapter anyway." He explained, adjusting himself on the bed. You walked to your side, sitting down. Then one leg came up, following the other, and your hand holding the edge of the night wear.

"Um, if you fell uncomfortable, ah. We don't have to do this."

"No, it's alright." It was your change to escape, but as the time passed you were only falling deeper into his sweet trap. He was fighting himself to keep his gaze away from you, till you covered your body under the blankets.

He couldn't believe he had you next to him. His body was already so warm, and with the blankets, it felt like he was on fire. Sunghoon pushed them a little lower from his chest, letting himself breathe.

That was not good. It was easy for him to contain his calmness before, but now he was losing control.

You turned your back to him, curling in your spot. It was obvious that you didn't want to sleep next to him, and his heart dropped. Looking around his bedroom, he finally closed the lights.

He was thankful you were so cold towards him, because if you weren't, he didn't know what he would do. The images in his mind were already sinful enough, and your excitement would make it worse.

"Goodnight." Your faint voice was heard, and his head turned towards you. A smile creeped on his lips, a smile that none had seen. You would kill to see that smile, but he did it only when you weren't looking.

"Goodnight." He replied, turning his back to you.

Morning came fast. A loud knock woke up Sunghoon while you were still sleeping.

"Yes?" He said, rubbing his eyes. It was his maid. She was announcing that you must come down for breakfast. Sunghoon promised you will be down in a minute, and her footsteps faded.

The hand rubbing his eyes went back to its place, humming a bit before closing his eyes. Yet they popped open when he felt exactly what he was touching.

He was still shocked about how you ended up between in his arms. Your small body curled up in his chest, your hands resting on it. He had wrapped his hands around your body. One under your head, caressing softly your hair, while the other on your back.

Sunghoon took his hand away from your back, sitting up a little. He was breathing fast. And he placed his free hand on his chest to calm himself down.

You shifted a bit, and his eyes got wide. His body fell back on the bed, afraid to wake you up.

He shouldn't have chosen you. He knew this might happen, but he didn't think it would be so soon. However, he liked it. Sunghoon's fingertips began twirling the strands of your hair, and you hummed at his touch.

The smile on his lips was getting bigger while his hand discovered more of you. From your hair, it went on your cheek. Drawing a variety of shapes on your skin, your eyes finally opened.

The last shape was a heart, before you flew up. Escaping from his hands, you sat up. Sunghoon mimicked your action, both looking at each other. You were big-eyed, and he had that smile. Your heart skipped at the sight, cheeks heating up.

His smile only added to his beauty. One that you could stare at forever.

"Sunghoon-"

"Breakfast is ready!" The maid cut you off, knocking again at the door. Sunghoon's smile dropped, fixing his hair before standing up. He had forgotten about that.

"We will talk about it another time, Y/N."

"What time?" Sunghoon took his freshly washed clothes, entering the bathroom.

"Today, at 7:00 am, garden." He said, closing the door behind him. Your finger checked your pulse, which was speeding up dangerously fast.

Maybe a future with Sunghoon wouldn't be so bad after all?

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．*Time Skip*

You had come five minutes earlier, curiosity eating you out. Biting your nails, you reminded yourself that you were a princess. But who cares? You didn't want that title.

"Hello." Sunghoon behind you said, and you turned around. The sun hit his face, turning his dark brown eyes into a honey like colour. His hair was messy, and he was in his horse riding uniform.

You liked that side of him. The raw beauty of Park Sunghoon, and not the unrealistic one the rest saw. Under the sun, some face scars were visible, and small pores on his nose. Like a normal person, and not a porcelain doll.

"If I remember right, you had mentioned something about wanting to try horse riding?" Your eyes widened, realizing the reason for his appearance.

It was true; you had told him that you would like to try horse riding. However, you weren't allowed to do so since you were a female. But you loved horses. They looked so elegant and were so kind.

"No, Sunghoon-"

"Oh, don't worry. I will help you." He said, taking your hand in his. Then he drove you towards the stable, where all the horses were. "That's mine." His finger pointed at the only black horse on the stable, and a giggle left your mouth.

'Of course he would choose this one.'

"Choose your horse, and we are ready to go." Your eyes travelled around the thousand horses. You didn't have any particular colour in mind, but the plain white one caught your eye.

"I will take the one that its colour is the opposite of yours." You said, smiling teasingly at Sunghoon. He smirked in response, going towards the one you wanted.

"Was that supposed to imply something?" He asked, bringing the horse close to you.

"Maybe."

"Yes, but you should know that love and hate are two sides of the same coin. With simllar way we can perceive white and black." You caressed softly the horse, and Sunghoon handed you a carrot.

"Mmh, and which one are you, Sunghoon? White or black?" He didn't reply, instead he smirked wider at you.

Sunghoon guided you to feed the horse, then put on the equipment, and helped you settle on it. At first, you were terrified. Your hands were trembling, gripping as hard as you could the saddle. Sunghoon was laughing at you, and your hand pushed playfully on his shoulder.

You thought he wouldn't look prettier after you saw his smile, but his laugh was angelic.

"Are you alright?" Sunghoon got more serious now, since you were ready to start your ride. Your fingers were still twitching, scared at the new experience. Yet you comforted him with a thumbs up, and the ride began.

Sunghoon was patient, going unbearably slow for you. The green paths you crossed were everything, and you whished you could ingrave them forever in your mind. You whished you had practiced more in drawing. So you could carry the scenery on the paper forever.

The sun started going down, and by the time you came back, it was night. The moon had replaced the sun, indicating it was time to go back. You were sure the maids would have gotten worried, but Sunghoon didn't care about it.

It was the first time you saw Sunghoon so free. And the first time you felt so free.

"Here." Sunghoon stretched out his hand, and you placed yours into his. You gave him a tight squeeze, and the other held his right shoulder. Once your feet were on the ground, you raised your gaze at Sunghoon.

He wasn't leaving your touch. His hand still interlocked with yours, while his other was on your arm. You blushed, clearing your throat. Your hands tried to move, but Sunghoon's grip was stronger.

"Y/N, why don't you give me a change?" He blurted, and your eyes popped open in surprise.

"W-what?"

"Since day one, you have been distant from me. Don't you think this could work out?" Emotions flooded in your heart. A unique experience for you.

You thought you could manage it. You thought that a relationship with Sunghoon would be good. But now that he says all those things to you, no words come from your mouth.

"Y/N-"

"Why Wonyoung send you a letter?" The question you wanted to ask since you saw her letter. It finally left your mouth, taking Sunghoon aback. He furrowed, anger building up in him.

"You don't think I secretly talk with Wonyoung or something?"

"I don't know what to think." You replied, and his grip loosened up a little. His hands left yours and fell to his sides. You shouldn't have said it, but you needed an explanation.

"She send me this letter, because I was supposed to choose her. I mean, everyone knew about our parents' deal. But I didn't reply back to her."

"Why?"

"Because I love you." Your shoulders tensed up, looking at Sunghoon's raw emotions drowning him. The ice prince had opened up, and his feelings were anything but cold.

"Sunghoon, I don't want to be a princess."

"Then don't be."

"But what about you?" Sunghoon stepped closer to you, leaning to your eye level.

"I will follow you."

"No, Sunghoon. I don't want to hold you back-"

"You won't." He cut you off, taking your hand back into his. Then he brought it closer to his lips and placed on it a light kiss. You couldn't stop the hot tears rolling down your cheeks, but Sunghoon kissed them all away. One by one.

"Sunghoon, I love you too. But I want my freedom."

"And?" He asked, his hand leaving yours. That same hand then rested on your waist, while the other brushed off some strands of your hair behind your ear.

"Y/N, let's be free together."

And with that, he smashed his lips on yours.

_________________

A/N: Fun fact; this whole one shot was insipired by a tik tok edit. To be honest, I rushed a little the ending bc otherwise it would be way too longggg. That's it, requests are open!

© all rights reserved to me — i do not allow anyone to copy, translate, or repost my works. all my stories are purerly fictional.

[sugar-grigri]

The ambivalence of life: the massage metaphor 

I'm going to get straight to the point: Denji is perfectly right to want to suffer - it's precisely what he lacked in his 'normal' life.

To understand this, let's go back to the chapter.

Introducing Denji as a CSM wannabe right at the start of the chapter isn't as insignificant as you might think, because this chapter helps to differentiate between CSM and a CSM wannabe.

After all, Denji could very well be one, and chapter 150 makes it clear that the protagonist's dream is to be a CSM, so he literally wants... to be a CSM.

But in order to become CSM himself, we have to understand what CSM is. And that's precisely where the difference lies between a CSM wannabe and Denji as CSM.

Part 2 has repeatedly shown that 'CSM' has become a marketing product, an idol for young people, a source of detestation for others, like express usurpers who have taken to the stage. In short, CSM's identity began to become more diffuse, questioned to the point where it seemed to escape Denji. So what is CSM? 

Well, let me ask you this: what's the first thing you think of when I mention CSM?

Most fans will cite the most traumatic and tragic chapters, shuddering at the mere mention of volume 9. There's your answer: suffering is the secret of CSM's identity. 

But let's move away from this more meta side, and get back to the chapter. 

I know that Nayuta being pushed aside and put in her place stung some people's hearts and it hurt me too! But Denji is right to push her away, cruel as that may seem. Because the complexity of Denji and Nayuta's relationship also lies in the fact that their relationship can have several negative sides.

Firstly, Nayuta is and remains the demon of control, a demon who can't help but have a hold, even over those she loves. And she has done this with Denji on one occasion: when she forbids him to see Asa again.

She forbids it out of a desire to protect him, fearing that Denji will be taken in by yet another girl. This reaction depresses Denji, but he regains hope by acting as CSM, motivated by Nayuta herself because CSM is admired and loved by people. The first instinct at this stage would be to think that this is a bit contradictory: why push Nayuta away when she's the first to admire and encourage CSM? 

Because she hasn't grasped what CSM is all about either. I'll expand on that later, but for now, keep in mind that suffering is intrinsic to CSM. Even when she prevented Denji from continuing his story with Asa, she was preventing Denji from suffering, in itself, from experimenting. The same experience can be just as beneficial as it can be negative, and it's part of the game of life not to know the outcome of a relationship, otherwise you wouldn't go with others.

And that's what Nayuta has done, the demon of control has a happiness that's enough to be two, it's a demon that risks being alone so much that a single loved one is enough to make her happy. But that's Nayuta's idea, not Denji's. 

I'll come back to this a bit more, but for the moment I'm still going to follow the chapter. Denji almost comes to thank Barem and the others for burning down his house and his pets, but he's also aware that morality is being undermined and even talks to Pochita about it. And that's fascinating. 

Even though it may seem horrible, the loss of his animal family allows Denji to realise that he needs this suffering in his life, for many reasons. If Kishibe judged Denji as a man made to kill demons, it's because suffering makes him gloat, because it's the most intense experience he's had in his life.

Transforming himself into a CSM is a way for Denji to confront suffering; he has even internalised it since he was a child, making his body suffer to pay off his debts.

CSM is a creature made for suffering. When Aki became possessed by the Gun Devil, CSM was the culmination of Denji's suffering, his demonic form killing his brother. Just as Denji transformed into Pochita was saved by a dying Power.

The foundations of Denji, Aki and Power only consolidated Denji's relationship with suffering. This double facet, between love and suffering through grief. Pochita is another example, because becoming CSM was followed by an experience of mourning, the loss of Pochita who had merged with him. 

Suffering is as intrinsic to all species as are death and love because suffering is the result of both, the love we have for others is the cause of our suffering when they die.

CSM is this universality, with Pochita sacrificing himself to prevent Denji from dying, suffering every time the cable is pulled. And instead of fighting it, CSM uses it as the engine of his chainsaws. When Nayuta says that this is not the time for chainsaws, she wants to prevent her brother from suffering. But Denji understands that it's precisely when he's suffering that it's time to be CSM. 

Having your head and arms brutally chopped off hurts, fighting demons hurts, in short, transforming into a CSM physically hurts and must hurt. Imagine having a cable cut in half across your torso: it hurts, so why pull it? That's why Denji IS CSM, because it's when it hurts that he realises he wants to be CSM? 

Hybrids don't exploit this pain, demons like the Eternity Demon are even afraid of it, and that's what explains CSM's superiority: suffering exalts him and he uses it as a means to fight. When Quanxi cut off the weapons' heads, it was enough for them to admit defeat, while Denji calmly puts his head back on, not giving up the fight. 

Weapons can't die, but they can see others die, just as suffering can't escape them either. Either they see themselves almost as demigods, as prophets, or they can see themselves as great knights out to save the world.

Denji knows how to exploit his nature; he drinks blood at the slightest opportunity, tries to devour like a demon and is not afraid to use it, unlike the other hybrids. (Quanxi is an exception)

As the spear weapon starts to provoke CSM by saying to really scare them, CSM exploits being sliced in half. Suffering is the fear of weapons.

The whole thing also has a symbolic force, because we've been trying endlessly to cut Denji in two, his human life on the one hand and his life as CSM on the other. Cutting CSM in two won't do him any good, all he has to do is pull his cable.

But above all, the comparison with massage is a very good one, because it sums up life, this combination of good sensations and not-so-good ones. This is precisely what pitted Denji against Makima, that bad films or bad facets of the world and humanity must exist.

This time, part 2 doesn't boil down to this ideology; what Denji is saying is that to live is also to suffer, to be happy is also to have been unhappy. All these things are not mutually exclusive, they go together. 

That's why Denji wins against the weapons, because he won't fight against the suffering they'll put him through, he'll use it to the full, knowing that behind it all there'll be a good feeling. And that seeing the positive side even in pain is nothing other than hope.

Denji himself says that life is a superposition of all these facets. There are things we may never get over, but they don't stop us from moving forward. That's why this chapter is incredible, because Denji doesn't accept suffering as a demon when he's fighting, he wants to accept it in his life too, Denji's life, he has to experiment without Nayuta's permanent approval. 

Denji has lost many people close to him, including his pets. It is precisely through their loss that he wants to suffer. Because suffering is the privilege of the living.

Chainsaw Man is nothing more than 2 entities reunited to survive together.

CSM's laughter is symbolic of this, and chapter 151 made an explicit reference to chapter 82 when Makima starts laughing despite the paroxysm of suffering for Denji, who has just seen Power die. What Fujimoto does is bring together the previous antagonist and the protagonist, to bring out the essence of his work.

Both Makima and Denji laugh despite the horror of the situation as the mask finally comes off, Makima presents her plans and Denji realises what Chainsaw Man is. In short, laughter is the symbol of letting go, as the mask finally comes off. And all this sums up Chainsaw Man, this confrontation between comedy and tragedy, this strange association.

Readers, don't fight the suffering of the characters either, you're reading CSM precisely because of it. You want to suffer just like CSM. So have fun with it.

[molsno]

god, what happens next is so good. the character writing is just spectacular. it fascinates me just how much depth there is to each character and how that contributes to the story.

milo's dni is the most revealing thing about him, and it's the very first thing we hear from him:

right off the bat, we can see what kind of person the protagonist is. he's a pastel softboi trans man who clings to a childish aesthetic to appear weak and non-threatening. despite being involved in a toxic relationship with another trans guy who attempted to rape and kill an 11 year old girl when he was a teenager and later murdered his girlfriend, which milo helped with by dismembering her corpse, he puts "pedophiles and unhealthy pairing shippers dni" on his carrd. which, ok, maybe he wants to distance himself from people like griffin now - except that's not really true, because he talks to, moves in with, and regularly hangs out with a serial killer fan who idolizes griffin and is even dating the guy while he's in prison. he puts "being against neopronouns" and "anti-otherkin" on the same level as those things. he explicitly denies any responsibility in the murders of haylie and savannah, despite having literally chopped haylie's arm off. all the while, he has "you deserve to heal" in big bold letters, while not applying that belief to anyone but himself.

right from the start, it's obvious that milo is not a good person. but he's also humanized throughout the story. sure, some of his softboi persona is a means of victimizing himself to avoid taking responsibility for what he did - and you could make the case that he was a victim in some ways. on the other hand, he also never got to grow up because he spent 5 years in a psychiatric institute. is it any surprise that he clings to the same aesthetic, interests, and hobbies he had when he was 15? he never got to stop being a kid, and how is he supposed to now? he didn't graduate high school, he can't get a job, and nobody wants to be friends with him because of what he did. it raises uncomfortable questions - namely, what happens next? milo served his time for the crime he committed as a minor. he was already punished, but now he has to live the entire rest of his life. what is he supposed to do?

that, I think is the most interesting part of this story. almost every character in this story makes it hard for you to like them, but they also have very human reasons for doing the terrible things that they do. I'll talk about some of my favorites under the read more, but be aware that there will be spoilers:

claire is one of the most interesting characters to me, just because of how unlikable she is.

when we first see claire in victim impact statement, she tries to ignore haylie, griffin, and milo as much as possible. she doesn't even seem to like her sister. she treats haylie as a nuisance for coming into the room that they share as sisters. she doesn't want to go to the open mic night to listen to haylie play her ukulele. when she finds haylie bawling her eyes out in the bathroom at anime central, she just looks away, as if to say "you chose to date your shitty boyfriend". when she hears haylie and griffin fighting upstairs, she just pretends not to hear it. when haylie is curled up in terror later, claire puts on headphones and turns her back to her. her headphones become a way of drowning out haylie's screams when griffin is around, and because of that, she doesn't hear haylie screaming for her life, and ends up finding her corpse in the kitchen.

that's why I don't find it surprising at all that she becomes an outspoken transphobe who wants to take her anger out on the trans people who murdered her sister. she goes to media events and publicly degenders milo and griffin. she calls aaron's friends trannies. I think it's easy to misconstrue her as a terf, but she literally doesn't even pay lip service to feminism. how could she? she knew that her sister was being abused by her boyfriend, and she did nothing. let me remind you that she lives in a house where "smash the patriarchy" is embroidered on the wall. she doesn't care about any of that. she just wants a scapegoat. she wants to make the law impose harsher punishments on minors who commit violent crimes because she doesn't know what else to do with her life. she very clearly hates herself, becoming an alcoholic to cope with her guilt. she pretends to care about haylie and fight for this law because it's the only way she can convince herself she's a good person, even though she can see that doing what she's doing is turning everyone against her.

and then that brings us to audrey. it's difficult to like her, too, because she's dating claire despite all of the horrible things she's doing. but at the same time, I can see where she's coming from. her mother died of cancer and she and all of her other black siblings were adopted by conservative christian white parents. she's still christian to this day, and makes a point of separating herself from "criminals" by insisting that she has nothing to do with them because she goes to church and takes care of her family. she doesn't want to disavow the law that claire worked so hard to pass because at the end of the day, it won't affect her personally, even though she is aware that the justice system disproportionately punishes black people. she very clearly has a lot of internalized racism, and I think that's best exemplified in the way she draws herself. despite having pretty dark skin in real life, she draws herself as light skinned as claire, her white girlfriend:

like, it's hard to like audrey, but you can clearly see why she's made all of the decisions she has! she idolizes claire because it's her first lesbian relationship. the way she sees it, claire can do no wrong. audrey does actually seem to be aware that her girlfriend is doing terrible things, but she essentially just plugs her ears and tries to ignore it. that's why she doesn't go to claire's campaign events. she ignores all of her girlfriend's flaws because claire is essentially her savior. because she has claire, she doesn't have to go back to her family, to her abusive alcoholic white father. she doesn't have to actually take care of her younger siblings, which is a responsibility she's foisted off unto mark. that's why she ignores that claire is just as much of an emotional drain as her father. she's highly depressed, she's an alcoholic, she trashes their bedroom (leaving audrey to clean up after her mess), she puts up an emotional wall and dismisses audrey's attempts to comfort her, and dismisses audrey's own problems as being less traumatizing and less important. by all accounts, claire is a terrible girlfriend and a terrible person, but because audrey idolizes her as her savior, she stays by her side. I'm really looking forward to seeing how she reacts to claire's disappearance in future chapters.

and then of course, there's vikki. she's been doing something incredibly disrespectful for years by making true crime videos where she talks about the victims and killers like it's all a joke. she makes a video about whether ethical necrophilia is possible, and makes a callous, bitter joke that the concept of "respect for the dead" is antiquated, because nobody respects her as a trans woman of color even though she's still alive. for this comment, people have harassed her online endlessly, enough that she had to make a video called "STOP TELLING PEOPLE I FUCK CORPSES". that doesn't stop her from making a video about the murder of haylie, complete with an interview from milo. she'll throw him under the bus if it means getting the attention off herself for a bit.

and yet, I think out of everyone, I feel the most compassion for vikki. yes, she used milo for content and called him a "sad little blonde girl", but I can understand where she's coming from! like, again, she's a trans woman of color in the true crime community. she knows the archetype milo is trying so hard to be in order to avoid taking responsibility for what he did. like, I've personally seen trans women of color who are victimized by white trans men who pull the same exact shtick as milo over and over, so I completely understand her frustration. that said, she also realized she went too far and tried to apologize, only to find out she was blocked and that milo basically wrote a callout post against her. I think it says a lot that vikki was one of the only people to actually try to talk to milo, even if the way she went about it was wrong.

vikki does things that are disrespectful, but to be honest, it's not that surprising! she grew up in a 90% white town in the middle of nowhere, got assaulted by multiple white boys for being a faggot, got sent to alternative school, worked for a funeral home as a teenager, and transitioned. not only is she desensitized to death, she's angry that people revere the dead more than her.

it's astounding, really! what happens next is so well written because it makes you feel conflicted about each of its characters. what are we supposed to do with these people who do awful things? a lot of the intrigue in this comic comes from seeing how each of the characters handles this question as they deal with the other characters who have done terrible things, while they themselves are deeply flawed as well. I think the writing really forces you to contend with the idea that these are all still people, and that their humanity needs to be recognized even if they do terrible things. it makes you ask, what happens next?

[evenmorefatallyobsessed]

Hey so to anyone whose ever wondered why I like Jaune I could probably give a good amount of reasons.

From his knight aesthetic, to him not being a Gary Stu, but a very flawed, believable character whose trying to improve himself. Hell I LOVE that he is a reference to Joan of Arc.

That he's not classically played masculine, but also isn't portrayed effeminate or flamboyant to oppose it either. I like that Jaune feels like someone who at a glance could be from a earth.

He feels like he was a Civilian, and you know what, I also have a weakness for blue eyed blondes... Maybe that's why I Love the idea of there being a whole family of them.

Heck conceptionally Jaune has a lot in common with the stereotypical Shonen protagonist... But then again so does Ruby and Yang. And Blake fit the more edgy manga Protags...

But if I had to name one thing I like about Jaune, even more then his determination/ Willpower (Stubbornness when it's misdirected like it was in Jaunedice)

I think what I like most is, well... That Jaune is arguably the bravest character in RWBY (Oscar could be argued to be that too though)

Let me explain, so... Everyone else in Beacon is different then Jaune mentally. And the reason is simple. a combination of their aura and training...

All the main cast besides Jaune were overpowered teenagers with strength like Captain America. And there in lies the reason.

They don't view things the same way Jaune does, in the Red Trailer, we literally see Ruby tear apart a horde of Beowulves in minutes on the way to visit her mother's grave. Which implies she does this regularly on said trek.

Now for those watching we gain the same mentality and understanding as the girls of RWBY. Beowulves aren't that strong, their mobs... Weak, easy to beat and need big numbers to be even a bit challenging.

But if you simply look at them, compare them to Ruby... Every Beowulve is a freaking WEREWOLF!!!

That is fucking terrifying, take away the aura and that is a brickshitting situation Ruby is in. But to her it's really not, because she has spent her whole life killing these things to the point where she can do so effortlessly.

Hell we see this again in Yang when she literally doesn't just enter a fight with a gang of known armed criminals but starts it! Literally grabbing the kingpin by the balls.

Which, why wouldn't she, she punches fucking armored Grizzly bears to death. And so everyone one of JNPR and RWBY outside of Jaune look at Grimm and Criminals in the sense of...

Oh neat, a bad guy, let's kill/ beat them up...

When their being fired at their not thinking they could get shot, NO! Their thinking it's okay to get shot a few times cuz they have aura that'll protect them.

And that's why Jaune is so brave, he went to Beacon as a civilian, unaware of aura. Now stop and think about how far behind Jaune was actually in his own mind.

Because remember, he didn't know about aura, the stuff that lets everyone else be so OP. Jaune fought a Ursa Major and killed it without prior training and wasn't using aura techniques, he had enough physical prowess and strength to cleave through it in a single shot...

A literal Marine couldn't do that... But Jaune did, if it were a world without aura, Jaune would've easily been one of the physically strongest people. But because aura existed, people who were trained their entire lives with it are worlds apart above him.

But my point is this, everyone else isn't so much brave as confident and in Yang and Weiss's cases moreso arrogant. Ruby looked at a Goliath while she was in Mt. Glenn and her first thought was to go and kill it... That thing was a fucking Kaiju. And she wasn't scared of it, oh no she was excited to kill it!

Initiation was literally fun for Yang, she had a blast during it, Nora too, Blake wasn't concerned and until she was forced to ride a Nevermore Weiss was so at ease that she was willing to strike out on her own instead of teaming up with someone else, not once but twice.

But Jaune is different, to him, a Beowulf is a monster that can kill him in a single strike...A Ursa is a beast that could kill the strongest men... A single attack could end you life...

And yet he was still willing to take initiation, there was no second chances, or magic barrier to protect him, hell he didn't even have a gun.

Dude was gonna fight bears and Werewolfs with a sword and shield. In his mind a single blow would kill him, this wasn't fun, this wasn't exciting or something to be taken lightly.

It was a life or death struggle, and just because Pyrrha gave him aura doesn't mean that mentality magically goes away. No to Jaune Grimm still are threat, it why he shows nervousness when fighting them unlike everyone else.

But he still does... everyone else fights Grimm like it's a game or chore. But to Jaune he is actually fighting for his life, these things scare him, fighting scares him, and mentally he is still very much leaning more towards civilian.

But it's because of that that when he fights he is being braver then all the others. Not to say their cowards though.

I think ultimately that's why I like Jaune most, because I never stop realizing that he is fighting in a darksouls game while everyone else feels like their in DMC.

But despite that he doesn't hesitate to fight beside them, to try and help and is willingly putting his life on the line when everyone else is just having a easy run of it.

And I'd argue this is why Ozpin made him leader.