#and all victims of abuse

[itsstillsweetiebythealtar]

Y’all better pay very close attention to how these rappers react to this verdict and act accordingly.

Stop supporting these artists who show their disdain and lack of concern for black women 👋🏾

[iwasbored777]

Barbie movie never said "we need to stop men" it said "we need to stop toxic masculinity" and if that made you feel called out I got some news for you

[tomurakii]

I feel like I'm going insane.

Why does Gale's "good ending" if you don't date him imply that he gets back with Mystra.

Why does the grown ass woman who intentionally isolated 17-year-old Wyll and trapped him in a relationship get to hang out in your camp (and potentially sleep with you).

Why do the writers (head writer and literally Wyll's personal character writer included!) have so little respect and tact when talking about their characters' traumas only when they are male and their abuser is female.

Nobody would find it funny if the Christmas animatic had Astarion blush at a picture of Cazador. Nobody would think it was "a good resolution" if Karlach saved and then dated Gortash at the end of the game.

And the characters aren't treated well outside of their relationships either, the writers love to laugh when people call Wyll boring or Gale annoying. I dunno what's worse: all the extra in-game dialogue calling Gale pathetic, or the fact that Wyll barely has any additional dialogue at all. With the additional factors of Wyll being the only Black companion and Gale being the only one with a disability that is somewhat "inconvenient" to the player (because God forbid a person need help), it just comes across as implicit bias from the writers themselves. To create these representations and then shit on them for traits that not only may be relatable to your audience, but traits that you gave them.

When Neil accepted the award for best performance he told people who relate to Astarion that "you are not alone." It's a beautiful sentiment, but paired with writers fetishising Wyll's abuse and saying Gale's best ending is the one where he kills himself, it comes across as though for POC, the chronically ill/disabled, or male victims of women, the statement does not apply.

[anetherealpoetess]

Neil Gaiman, let’s be realistic. A 21-year-old working in the home of a man four decades her senior cannot truly give meaningful consent to any type of sexual encounter, let alone within mere hours of meeting him. Even though you are denying it was not consensual, the fact you have conceded the sexual encounter did happen at all is a full confession. You are, by your own admission, a predator.

[arriettyspin]

I don't know why Chad Charming being adopted is considered to be implausible by some. Cinderella, an orphan, choosing to adopt her firstborn to save him from a childhood like her own is the most in-character thing ever.

[izzystizzys]

TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog

“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”

High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”

Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.

Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.

“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”

“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.

High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.

Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”

“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”

Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”

“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.

“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.

He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-

Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.

Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.

Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!

And catch him, High General Windu sure did.

“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”

“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.

“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”

“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.

Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

but also like. guys you don’t need to leave the minecraft youtube community bc one person is bad to clarify. like. shelby is a minecraft youtuber. a lot of her friends are minecraft youtubers. those friends are supportive and as far as we know all believe her. the vast majority of minecraft youtubers are like. fine. this shit is something that Happens because Abusers are Manipulative, going to another hobby will Not shield you from anything and you’re not immoral for liking something bad people also liked. which is. one of the biggest video games ever. like in this situation no one was knowingly harbouring an abuser and it seems everyone was supportive. this is just a case of some people being shit, not anything to do with mcyt. hell, the guy hasn’t been on minecraft in like a year lmao.

i fully understand why the content might be uncomfortable to you guys now but like, please don’t self flagellate and cut yourself off from an entire genre of media because of one guy again. i saw that happen after the dream stuff and a lot of people ended up losing important things because they made rash decisions and felt like they Had to leave. but please. take one deep fucking breath. this has happened before. this has happened so much before, and in ways far worse than this. because abusers, unfortunately, exist. you should not feel guilty for being manipulated by a manipulative abuser, don’t blame yourself. do what you have to, but please, please keep in mind that the majority of minecraft youtube is fine. it is fine to continue engaging with it. it’s fine to be manipulated by an abuser and it’s not your fault. please don’t make rash decisions and end up losing things you care deeply about and being unable to get them back. distance yourself all you want, but please be careful to not do so out of emotional self harm from the guilt. that’s something this fandom encourages far too much- even outside of this- and it’s unhealthy and anyone expecting it of you is cruel.

[pynkhues]

There's something to the picture that all this season and the release of the first three seasons' scripts have painted of Logan and Caroline's divorce not as one of maternal abandonment, but one of maternal dislocation and suffocating abuse that's ruining me right now.

The way Caroline tried to take her children and flee in the dead of the night to Morocco, the way Logan took meetings with every worth-its-salt law firm in the city to cut off Caroline's access to them, wielding the legal system like an axe to an umbilical cord, the way Caroline's one recourse was to try and keep their position in the company, to keep them with something even if she gave it away later as they rejected her in adulthood. The way she stayed for their adolescence in New York even as Logan froze her out, the way she had to bargain for Christmas even in their adulthood, the way she sat in the pews with the rest of the women Logan loved and hurt and discarded while her children cried, with no tools or ability to comfort them, the way she sat as her son wrote her out of her own motherhood as he gave their father sole credit in creating them, stood opposite her daughter as she told her she wouldn't see it, i'm just gonna do it the family way like it was on Caroline and not their father, that she never got to see them.

Something about the way it feels like Logan trained them how to bark at her scent, to make sure she stayed away from the door.

[whetstonefires]

The reason I keep banging the Jiang Fengmian drum so hard is not that he did nothing wrong--he's definitely in contention for best parenting in this book but that bar is in the ground--but because most of the takes I see about him are so extremely bad.

If you want to slag him off for trying to make choices that would hurt no one, and winding up properly protecting no one as a result, that's valid! That's an interesting and text-based critique, which opens into his parallels with Lan Xichen!

If you want to blame him for being weirdly over-invested in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being bffs, that's fair, that definitely contributed to the weirdness between them. If you want to say he was a poor communicator, that he fundamentally misunderstood his son, that he failed to be emotionally available in a way his kids could get much use out of, even that he should have figured out a way to stop Yu Ziyuan from creating such a hostile environment, all of that is fair game!

If you want to tackle how the worst thing he did to his kids was die I am so interested in how Wei Wuxian went on to abandon A-Yuan by going to his death, and how that might be tied to how his primary adult role model tied him to a boat and went off to a fight he knew he was going to lose.

After his parents had already left him like that once before, presumably less intentionally.

But no, instead I keep seeing that Jiang Fengmian didn't care. That he never expressed affection. That he actively participated in Yu Ziyuan's fucky game of forcing proxy conflict onto the boys instead of constantly trying (and failing) to shut it down, or that he ignored her bad behavior because it didn't affect him, or that he fought with her constantly, or that he was too much of an unmanly coward to stand up to her when she wanted something.

All of which are directly in contradiction to every scene he's in, and several of which manage to invert or erase the actual conflicts between him and his wife that were the source of all that tension.

And which are really interesting, because some of the most intractable elements are ideological--Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally a conservative and Jiang Fengmian seems to want to be an egalitarian, which ofc matched poorly with his hereditary authority as patriarch of a large sect.

The fact that the bit where we get to actually see him failing to parent Jiang Cheng consists of him gently and firmly trying to correct Jiang Cheng's ethics when what was actually needed in that moment was reassurance for the well-founded insecurities that were causing him to be a little bitch, only for Yu Ziyuan to charge in and make everything fifty times worse, is so much more interesting than literally any version of this family dynamic I have seen in fic. It's to the point I'm relieved when writers kill Jiang Fengmian off, because it means they probably won't feel the need to character-assassinate him too badly.

The number of people I've seen come right out and say some variation of 'men can't be abused' is killing me here. No, Yu Ziyuan wanting to hurt her husband does not constitute sufficient proof that he abused her first and deserved it! That's not how anything works!

[furiousgoldfish]

Victims of abuse are often looked down upon for 'suffering in silence' and 'not saying anything', as if it's the victim's fault for not speaking out. But it comes from absolute ignorance.

There's never silence without a reason. Abusers understand they'll be outed if their victim speaks out, and they do extensive work preventing them from doing so. And society often helps them out, and makes it extra hard for the victims to say anything.

As soon as the victim speaks out, the abuser will retalliate against them. The victims know and understand this, and have lived trough experiences where they've been severely harmed and traumatized for daring to say something, even out loud in front of the abuser. It's not difficult to imagine for victims that they could be killed for speaking out, or lose their place of living, place of work, their circle of friends, their every day life. Because the abusers are capable of doing that, they'll start a smear campaign that can cost victims greatly, before the victim has even said a single word. Often even before the victims speak out, the abusers make sure they will never be believed.

If the victim still persists and keep speaking out, the society will give them the next resistance. They can be shut down by their best friend, who was also taught to defend abusers and give them a second chance because it's "the right thing to do" and "nobody's perfect". They can be victim-blamed by all of the people who think the abuse could never happen to them because they "make good choices" so they need to believe that the victim is incredibly stupid and "made bad choices" that got them abused. They need to believe they would have control over whether they're abused or not, so they can't stand the reality of abuse being outside the victim's control. They don't want to hear about the genuine circumstances of it, because that's too much for them to handle, and they'll hurry up and shame the victim for 'bringing this onto themselves', not caring how cruel they are, or how much they're enabling the abuse to continue.

Then there will be people who are also abusers, who hear the story and find themselves in the role of the abuser, so they attack the victim in order to defend themselves and their own actions. After all, if this abuser is shown as 'wrong', then they could be shown in that light too! And that is unacceptable so the victim has to be "told off" and every act of abuse explained away with "the victim did something to deserve it" or "the victim is lying to be vicious and for attention". If they manage to keep that narrative, they feel better about continuing their own abuse and never getting outed.

If the story of the abuse goes public, the public opinion is often not kind to the victim. Plenty of people think abuse is funny and will ridicule and humiliate the victim. Plenty will keep pretending it "wouldn't happen if the victim made different choices" (implying the victim had a choice in it). Plenty of sadistic people will enjoy hearing about it and will use it for pleasure. Plenty of other victims will see how badly the story is received and it will become another reason for their personal silence – who could stand having their worst trauma opened up for scrutiny, ridicule and humilation from strangers? It could make the victims suicidal.

The life of victims is already incredibly hard. If they haven't gotten a chronic illness or a disorder or ptsd from the trauma, they're still living with the knowledge that someone on this planet hurt them so badly it changed the course of their life, it hurt them to the point they wished to not be alive. They have to live with heartbreak, with self doubt, with struggling to survive because the abuse often breaks your social circles, your ability to focus, to feel confident and capable and worthy of love. Most often what victims want is just some comfort and peace, a place of safety, a way to keep fear at bay. To be distracted from pain.

Exposing what happened to us and then receiving additional abuse, danger, intrusion from sadistic strangers into our lives, blame, shame, humiliation, and public hatred, it feels life-threatening. Not to mention making it likely the abusers will come after us, will attempt to destroy us again, to take every bit of our life away as a punishment. Silence if sometimes the only way of life we have left, the last thing that we use to protect ourselves. Silence is not enabling of abuse. It's survival.

[a-heart-of-kyber]

The way many in the bg3 fandom go:

Astarion: Abused/Traumatized

Shadowheart: Abused/Traumatized

Lae'zel: Abused/Traumatized

Karlach: Abused/Traumatized

Wyll: Abused/Traumatized

Gale:...is a wizard.

Will be part of my villain origin story, cuz y'all the point was apparently like 12ft above your heads.

[waambles]

We love Gale memes, we don’t stand real Gale slander.

[vavuska]

Popular fantasy author turns out to be human garbage - Neil Gaiman

The Neil Gaiman accusations are absolutely sickening and one of the worst parts is his rebuttal about Scarlett. He says that she was “suffering from a condition associated with false memories at the time of her relationship.” Something that isn’t in her medical history or records.

So, hysteria.

He’s basically accusing the 23 yr old nanny that he had a relationship with (in his 60s!) of being hysterical.

Gaiman is a rich, powerful and famous author. A girl in her 20s without any previous working experience started to work for him and on her first day of work, Gaiman claimed they started a “consensual sexual relationship” in which age gap (20/60), power dynamics (employer/employee), status differences (writer adored by millions of readers/lil miss nobody) didn't play any role (Gaiman said).

Yes. Neil Gaiman keeps intact his name as a wonderful and amazing fantasy author.

[shiraiza]

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly shoutout to Steven Universe for the representation of malachite and abusive relationships because it holds up really well and is still like one of the only abuse narratives I’ve seen that portrays how like. Abusive relationships aren’t as simple as “evil abusive person was constantly Mean and Bad to nice victim” like. Lapis is a realistic victim. She refused to leave the relationship because she longed to have connection with someone and she liked feeling as though she could have control for once, even though she really didn’t. She wasn’t nice and innocent, she felt anger and resentment and liked taking it out on Jasper. And despite how horrible it was, she deeply misses Jasper because it was the longest and deepest relationship she’s ever had with anyone and she didn’t know how to function without it

But Lapis is still a victim and we’re meant to care for her and understand where she comes from. She chose to stay with Jasper to keep others safe from her harm, and because she thought she herself deserved the abuse as a way of making up for everything bad she’s done. Jasper reminds Lapis over and over that she is a monster and that’s why they should be together, because Jasper is the only one who understands her. And when Lapis finally rejects their relationship, she mostly states it through what she herself felt and has done, saying that she didn’t like the person she became in that relationship and she never wants to feel like that ever again. It’s messy and complicated, just like how actual abuse is

Anyways yeah talk about a very good abuse narrative thanks steven universe

[transmascutena]

the poor little meow meow-ifictation of saionji in this fandom has got to stop i can't take it any more