#and all pretend to be busy when sirius needs help

[daysofnights]

remus that works in IT and sirius that saw him helping someone else with their computer fell in love and immediately pretended to be the most technologically incompetent person in existence so he can keep seeing remus

[luveline]

How about ploy marauders going to a party and Sirius promised to do readers make up, but is late so the other two are making an attempt. Sure they might know how to do Sirius's messy style, but do they know big dramatic styles? Can James do a perfect wing?

<3 fem, 1k

“Can you stay still?” Remus asks, turning your face a half inch where it’s held in his hand. 

“Can James stop kissing me?” you ask. 

James pulls his face from the curve of your neck, the warmth of his lips lingering on your skin. “Sorry, are you busy?” 

“You’re supposed to be helping.”

“Don’t act like you weren’t enjoying yourself.” 

You smile. Remus rubs the softest curve under your eye with his thumb, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his lips. He doesn’t know he’s doing it, concentrating instead on your face and the wetness of your makeup where it’s beginning to sink in. “I don’t know what I’m doing,” he sighs. 

“You know better than I do,” James says. 

You don’t know a thing about it, that’s why you’d arranged for Sirius to do your makeup tonight before Marl’s birthday bash, but where is your awful boyfriend? Late, decidedly unavailable for makeup-ing. 

“You’ve done his mascara a thousand times,” James argues with Remus. 

“Yes, but Sirius has never asked me to do his blush.” Remus’ hand moves to the side of your face. “You are lovely, though. I think using only a little of everything is working in our favour.” 

“Sirius only lets him do mascara because he already has nice eyelashes,” you worry. It won’t matter if Remus messes up or doesn’t get close enough to the root. 

“Yes, and because he likes it when Remus holds his face like that,” James points out, eyeing Remus’ hand where it stays at your cheek. Remus has long fingers, ever-so slightly thick with two golden rings that kiss your chin as he lets his hand fall, and he’s always gentle. 

“James, I’m tapping out.” 

James pretends to roll up sleeves he isn’t wearing, your bulkiest boyfriend in a short-sleeved t-shirt that showcases the lean muscle of his forearms, the not so lean ridges of his biceps. They tense as he sits up, his knee jabbing yours, the bed creaking dangerously beneath your angled weight. “What’s there left to do? She’s gorgeous.” 

“What did you want?” Remus asks you. 

“Uh, I wanted, you know…” You sound ridiculously shy. You wish you could just do all of this faff by yourself rather than force their attention, but neither boy seems annoyed. “He does that smudgey eyeliner, it makes my eyes look bigger. And lipgloss, but I can do that myself.” 

“Are you kidding? That’s the best part,” James says. He gives you a smile confident enough to reassure you and handsome enough to make you shy from his touch all over again. “Pass me the black pencil, Remus. I’ve got this.” 

James does not got this, his expression melding from happy, adoring, to perturbed, and then annoyed. “Aw, I’ve fucked it.” 

Remus shakes his head vehemently. “You haven’t! We just need a wet wipe.” 

They search the room for Sirius’ wet wipes and come up empty-handed. A towel is wetted and taken carefully to your eyes instead, cold and rough on your eyelids. 

“Be gentler,” Remus whispers. 

James is practically atop you know, your chin tilted up to his hand. “Sorry,” he whispers in turn, then to you solely, “‘m I hurting you?” 

“No.” You’re whispering too. It feels appropriate; they’re both very close to you, and this movement might fix or ruin your makeup with the party’s start time drawing ever closer. 

“I think I’ve fixed it,” James says, taking the pencil up again, the nib soft as it rolls over the corner of your eye. “Sirius can perfect it in the car, right?” 

“I thought you were good at everything?” you ask. 

James turns your face up impossibly higher, craning his head down for a peck. “Yes,” he whispers severely, “I’m good at everything. But Sirius is usually better. Quick, let’s find your lipgloss before we’re late.” 

Remus tries to tell James that it isn’t true, a serious conversation at a bad time, and James won’t listen to a word of it. They quibble over who’s doing your lipgloss, bathe you in compliments when they’re done —aw, dove, you look so cute, and cute? she looks perfect— then suddenly an abrupt beep is sounding outside. The three of you scramble into your jackets and down the stairs, meeting Sirius where he leans against the car. He throws the keys to Remus, ushering you into the backseat with him for some last minute clean up. 

“Hey, they’ve done a good job,” he praises, another hand on your face to turn it up kindly to the light. “Did you bring your lipgloss?”  

You nod quickly and dig for it in your jacket. 

“What!” James says from the front, turning in the passenger seat to complain. “That’s the one thing we did perfectly.” 

The car starts. Remus laughs to himself behind the steering wheel. 

“Did I say otherwise?” Sirius asks, letting his fingers curve toward the back of your neck. Pale in the light, eyes lit with something funny you’ve yet to hear, he dips in close to you and talks quietly, “I’m sorry, I promised I’d do your makeup for the party. But you’ve all done well without me, you look perfect, especially your lips.” 

“Then what did you want it for?” you ask, confused, your seat belt pulling as Sirius encourages you forward. 

“To reapply.” He taps your neck with a fingertip. “Spare a kiss? I promise I’ll fix any mess.” 

Commotion from the front seat.

“James–” Remus warns. 

“What? I want to watch.” 

“Freak,” Sirius says lovingly. 

“How am I a freak? She’s my girlfriend, you’re my boyfriend, and you’re doing that voice like you’re gonna lay her down in the back seat.” 

“James.” 

—

requests r open!! pls think about reblogging if you enjoyed, I hope u did either way!!!

[inkdrinkerworld]

Inn Love

cw: friends to lovers, cowboy!james, innkeeper!reader, pet names, fluff, scene setting really

wc: 2.6k

“Please Jamie? I just need a couple pounds of butter.” You bat your eyes at him, all sweet and innocent but James knows you.

“If I give you what I have left I won’t have any to sell in the market this weekend.” He’s trying to stand firm. He really really is.

For all your sweetness and innocence, you’re like a viper to James’ strength of will.

“I’ll pay you more than the market.” You’ll definitely try, but James can never charge you full price.

“I’m sorry, darling. Go to Malloy, he sells butter too.”

You wrinkle your nose. “No one sells butter that’s as good as yours, Jamie.” You’re trying as hard as you can, James seems unmoved. So you up the ante. “I’ll bring you one of the pound cakes on top of payment.”

James falters a bit then. You bake the best in the entire town. At your inn, The Secret Garden, that’s one of the best reviews after the impeccable mattresses. You also know James has the softest, sweetest spot for pound cake- especially the blood orange pound cake you make.

He groans and you squeal, your boots clicking on the cobble. James gestures for you to come into his house.

“You’re so fucking evil.” he mumbles, reaching into his second fridge and handing you three pounds of butter. You take a quick peek and find his fridge stocked with pre packaged butter wrapped pretty in parchment, cheese in there too. There’s even milk. James is the best damn dairy farmer this town has ever seen and it’s a wonder how he ever has enough butter.

“You are an angel, James Potter.” you wrap your arms around his neck, and James’ hands automatically wrap around your back.

He’s big and warm, smells like leather and blood oranges and for all his muscles James is surprisingly soft.

James can’t fight the smile on his lips when you let go of him. You really are sweet. “You’re lucky I made more butter today.”

You gasp, not at all surprised. “You playing hard ball with me, Jamie?”

He nods, setting his hat on the counter. “Maybe I wanted a pound cake for free.” he teases but James would never take anything from you without paying you no matter how much you try to get him to. He doesn’t really care that you’re friends, he’s paying you for everything.

“You’re losing angel status, Potter. I gotta go, gotta bake for breakfast tomorrow and for the market this weekend.”

“See ya’, darling.”

James spots you while you’re closing up your booth at the market and hands off the empty crates he was hauling to his friends, Sirius and Remus.

He jogs over to you, and places his hands on your shoulders. You startle and almost swing a punch at him but he catches your fist.

“Okay Rocky,” he chuckles when you put your hand to your chest, breathing heavily like you’d just run a mile.

“You scared me, James! How don’t you make noise when you walk?”

James rolls his eyes, taking your crates from you. You move to packing bags.

“I make lots of noise, you’re just in your head.” He says, you shrug with a smile.

“Did they buy all of your butter?” you ask as you start walking towards your truck, James close behind.

“And the milk and the cheese.” You roll your eyes at his cocky tone.

You know James better than most here. You went to school together, you used to ranch with him when you were younger and when his mom and dad still owned the ranch.

Then you’d both had to grow up, you going to business school and James having to take over the ranch after his mom and dad had gotten sick.

You’d come back for the funeral and been there when James couldn’t get out of bed to deal with the ranch and all the shit that came with that and stayed till he got better and could do it himself.

Then James helped you with the construction of The Secret Garden, your inn that became your baby.

All this to say is, you know James Potter and he’s not as cocky as he pretends to be.

Sure he’s any woman’s dream. With his inky curls always peeking out under his hat, his muscle tees that show off tan, muscled arms, his pretty brown eyes that remind you so much of browned butter and his fucking dimples.

But James is a sweetheart.

“I told you about that tone, Jamie. Makes you sound too sure of yourself.”

James only chuckles, placing the crates in your tray and the rest of your stuff.

“I’m sorry weren’t you telling me the other day that my butter’s the best?”

You wave him off, laughing as you open the back door.

“Do I give you your loaf now or at family dinner tonight?”

James smiles, this is the one routine you and James still have from when you were kids. You go over on Sunday night for family dinner and then you go to the inn and try to get to sleep before your three am alarm.

“I just spent all day in the hot sun and you’re gonna deprive me? You’re cruel, darling.”

You laugh, handing him the loaf and then reaching in your cooler for a bottle of water. “Here Jamie.”

James’ mouth is already stained pink with the icing from your cake. Crumbs clinging to his shirt and chin.

“James! Have some dignity.” your words are broken up with your laugh, James smiles when you hand him the open water bottle.

“Thanks, darling.” Half the loaf cake is gone, and James guzzles the water like he’s been dying of thirst the whole day.

You watch James drink, aware that you’ve been staring a little longer than necessary and James knows it too because he winks at you.

“What are we having for dinner, James?”

James smiles, “Beef, you wanted that last time when we had chicken.”

You smile, giddy as ever. If it’s one thing James can do is roast beef; it’s always tender and perfect.

“Do you need me to come over early and do the potatoes? With the rosemary and thyme?” James nods, breaking off another little bite of the cake.

“Meet me there in an hour? I know you gotta do dinner at the inn.”

You shake your head, “I got Mary doing dinner tonight, and I wanna check on Snowglobe.”

James’ hand falls over his heart, a look of mock offense on his face. “Do you not believe me when I tell you he’s okay?”

You roll your eyes, “Can’t I want to take my best boy for a little leg stretch?”

James grumbles, “Best boy? Snowglobe took two years to train when we were kids.”

You smile as you remember all the days you’d sleep in James’ room complaining about how Snowglobe hated you and would never warm up to you.

“And now he’s the best horse a girl could have.You’re just jealous Jamie.”

He says nothing, just takes his loaf cake and presses a kiss to your forehead.

“I’ll follow behind you. Try not to drive like you’re on a race track, yeah?” You nod, getting into your truck and letting James close the door for you.

You don’t listen to James’ words and speed towards his ranch, foot to the pedal even as you swing into the grocery for chocolate for dessert- lest you and James pass away without a sweet treat after dinner.

At his place, in the Big House, you and James work side by side prepping dinner. He seasons the beef, you season the potatoes and put them to roast and then start on a chocolate cake.

It’s not a fancy one, but it’s occasion enough for a chocolate cake.

“How long till everything is finished?” Sirius asks, hat on his chest as he walks in holding a six pack.

“About an hour.” You and James say at the same time. Remus rolls his eyes as he steps in behind his boyfriend.

“I got your fruit, you didn’t stop by.” He holds out three bowls of cut fruit and you smile.

“Thanks Rem, I swear everyone came for bread today! I sold out of it so fast I really contemplated going back to the inn and baking more.”

The boys hum, smiling when James opens a beer and slides it to you. You take it with a nod and a smile. Quickly, you uncover the bowl of watermelon, taking a few pieces and smiling at the sweetness.

“It’s cos it’s fucking amazing bread. Lasts the whole fucking week too.” A compliment from Sirius is always genuine- as long as you’d known him, about two years, you can count on one hand how many sweet words the man says.

Conversation lulls, James talks about his plans for the week, Sirius talks about how there’s too many people trying to build big condos in your town- he’s in real estate and Remus talks of how much simpler life had gotten since he’d started raising chickens again.

You shoot out of your seat, James watches you curiously. You pull the cake from the oven and turn to all three of them stern as can be, “Those potatoes have ten minutes. I’m going to see my horse, do not let them burn.”

You rush out of the Big House without another word, boots clicking against the wooden floors and then crunching on the gravel path as you make your way to the stables.

“Snowglobe, baby.” You call, passing each stall till you find your baby’s.

Snowglobe is an old boy, almost twenty four, but he’s always been perfect. He’s all white, a pretty shiny sort of white on his coat that makes him look like fresh fallen snow. Hence his name.

He raises his head as he sees you, tail flicking as you reach a hand into his stall.

“I missed you, old boy.” You kiss his nose, stepping into the stall and getting a brush. You’re sure the farm hands James hired keep him well groomed, but he likes a bit of pampering and he deserves it too.

You brush through his mane, talking to him and sneaking a couple apples to him.

There’s a knock on the stable doors and you startle, you hear James’ deep chuckle before you see him. “Dinner’s ready,”

You kiss Snowglobe on his nose again. “I’ll come by tomorrow and we’ll go riding, baby.”

James rolls his eyes when Snowglobe puts his face on your shoulder, stopping you from moving.

You grin wide, “I promise, old boy. We’ll go riding all evening.”

Snowglobe seems pleased because he lifts his head and lets you go.

“He’s as clingy as you are,” James says as you walk out beside him.

“He’s not clingy! He’s the best and I don’t come see him nearly enough.”

James scoffs, “The four times a week you ride him up and down the ranch isn’t enough?” He bumps your hips with his.

You shrug your shoulders with a smile, “He likes the exercise and your boys still saddle him. He doesn’t like it.”

James is well aware, Snowglobe tosses saddles off him if he’s feeling particularly annoyed with the weight of them some days.

James pushes open the door to the Big House. You walk past him, taking your seat on the table and groaning.

“This is gonna be fucking great.” Sirius laughs at your swear, and loads up your plate- roast potatoes, roast beef and salad.

By the time you’re all finished dinner, you and James have had two slices of cake each and you’re both sprawled on his sofa.

Remus is laying on Sirius with his hat on his stomach and Sirius’ is pulled low on his face.

“I gotta get going,” you say, breaking the silence. Your words are groggy, sleep close in your reaches the longer you lay beside James.

James sits up, “What time is your alarm?”

“Three thirty.”

James tries pulling you down beside him, but you don’t budge. “I’ll drop you back in the morning.”

You huff, a little amused. “What time do you usually wake up, James?”

“Four. I gotta check the fences though, so three thirty ain’t bad.”

There’s no use arguing with him, and you don’t really want to. He stretches out on the sofa,

Sirius and Remus are out cold, James doesn’t even move them. He just throws a blanket over them.

“C’mon, the guest room is always ready for you.” James sounds just as tired as you feel, his eyes look a little glassy too.

“Thanks Jamie,” you push open the door and smell the lavender spray you use at night strong as if you’d just sprayed it.

“Course darling, your blanket’s there too. Come get me when your alarm goes off, yeah?” James kisses your forehead, you smile.

“Yeah Jamie. Go get some sleep.”

You climb under your blankets, grinning when you smell the linen detergent James uses. Sleep comes quick, your eyes heavier than they’ve been all day now that you’re laying down.

-

Someone is shaking your shoulder and you don’t like it.

“Stop,” you groan, pushing the hand off you and pulling your blanket over your head.

“Darling it’s nearly three thirty. Come get some coffee.”

You groan, twisting in protest under the covers. “No. I’ll be down at three thirty.”

James rolls his eyes. “Don’t make me use advanced waking up tactics.”

Your head pops out of the covers, hair a little messed up. “You are not tugging this cover off me James. I swear to god.”

James smiles, “You’re so pleasant in the morning. C’mon, we’ll have coffee and one of those breakfast sandwiches and I’ll drop you off.”

The grumble you let out makes James laugh some more.

“Give me five minutes.” James nods, leaving the room and letting you go about your morning routine.

You find James pulling two sandwiches from his oven, setting yours on a plate and biting into his immediately.

“Thanks Jamie, where’s my coffee?”

James tilts his head to the pot, your favourite cup sitting right beside it.

“Your creamer’s in the fridge.”

You frown, “Where did you get sugar free creme brûlée creamer in the middle of summer?”

James shrugs, “Not telling. But it’s there.” James takes a sip of his own coffee, black with just a touch of sugar. “It’s turkey in the sandwich too.”

You smile, fixing your cup and then shuffling towards James to kiss his cheek.

“You’re cute, thank you Jamie.”

His cheeks redden without meaning too. “Eat so we can go darling. You got scones to bake and what is it today? Eggs and bacon with toasted sourdough?”

You nod, biting into your sandwich. “Yeah and I gotta do cookies today, want me to bring any over?”

James frowns, “Today?” You nod, taking the last bite of your sandwich and finishing off your coffee.

“Taking Snowglobe out after I finish up dinner at the inn.”

James rolls his eyes playfully. Since the moment Snowglobe stopped fighting you, the pair of you had been inseparable. “Yeah, you can bring a couple. Make sure and eat lunch.”

“Left overs?” Your eyes are wide and hopeful as you look at James. He feels his chest constrict a little.

He opens the fridge and pulls out a bowl, “Got everything here for you.”

“Angel status has been restored Jamie,” James grins, dimples poking out. Truly, he’d never been worried, you’re never actually upset with him ever. Angel status is always applied, but he can’t deny the way it makes him feel when you tell him that it is.

“You’re so gracious!” James bows, making you giggle and slap his shoulder. “Ready?” He asks as he rights himself. James opens the fridge again, pulling out the bowls of fruit Remus had brought over and setting them on your lunch.

“Ready, Jamie.”

[lives-between-lines]

With her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean - poly!marauders x slytherin!reader

─

Summary: Preparing for the dreaded OWLs proves to be a difficult task for one tightly-wound Slytherin. How do Remus, James, and Sirius each offer assistance, and how does she handle it?

Notes: No Voldemort, but pureblood elitism is still very much a thing. Story starts at the end of the Marauders and Reader’s fifth year. I don’t know the most about all the Marauders Era headcanons so I kind of did what I wanted, sorry if you don’t like it. 

Tags: Angst, fluff, traumatized Slytherins, pureblood elitism, slightly mean!reader

Words: ~7.8k

p.1

─

I huffed as I reached for another heavy book on the shelf from one of the dark back corners of the library. I wasn’t in the restricted section just yet, but getting close to it. Between the weight of the other five books stacked in my arm and the height of the shelf I was trying to reach I nearly dropped them all. 

“Careful, there, Princess. Might break something lugging around all those books,” someone said next to me. I nearly jumped as I hadn’t noticed anyone come down this same aisle. 

I shot a glare at him for startling me. It was none other than Remus Lupin, one of those pesky Gryffindors who was constantly fighting me for my space at the top of the class. My glare intensified when I realized who it was.

“Yes, and it would sure be a shame if I managed to drop these on your foot and break something there,” I snarked. 

He looked amused at me. “Whoa, Princess, no need to get feisty with me. I was just going to offer my assistance.”

“And what kind of assistance should I accept from you when you’re just as likely to try and trick me?” Lupin gave me a weary look. Typical of Gryffindors to think everyone is as blindly trusting as them.

“No tricks, Princess, just offering a bit of help,” he said with a shrug.

“Would you stop that? Stop calling me that,” I snapped at him before turning back to the book I needed. Before I could make a second attempt to reach for it, Remus stepped up next to me and I froze. But then he grabbed the book for me and set it on top of my stack then took a step back. 

“Not a fan of your nickname?” He was of course referring to me being known as Slytherin’s Princess. Sometimes I like to pretend the nickname came about because I’m always top of the class, making my house proud, but I know the real reason is because I come from a wealthy, pureblood, Slytherin family and everyone thought me rather spoiled. 

“I am not some simpering girl in need of a man to save her and it’ll do good for the people in this school to remember that.” Despite his significant height, I lifted my chin to Remus Lupin and dared him to say otherwise. 

“Of course, of course,” he agrees, nodding his head and holding up his hands. “But you are Slytherin’s Princess, aren’t you?” His eyes light up in amusement at my frustration. 

My nostrils flare as I hold back my anger. It doesn’t do me any good to blow up at some stupid Gryffindor, not when that is exactly what he wants and I am not in the business of giving Gryffindors what they want.

Instead, I turn to walk away. Take the high-ground as they say. 

“Wait, wait, I’m sorry!” Remus calls after me, quickly catching up to and following me. “Seriously, dove, I’m sorry. I was only joking. Please, let me help you with whatever on earth you could possibly need all these books for.”

I stop abruptly and turn toward him. “And why should I accept help from someone like you?” I nearly growl at him, barely holding back my frustrations.

Remus looks taken aback by my words. “Someone like me? You mean a half-blood?”

It’s my turn to be startled by him. “I mean a Gryffindor,” I bite out. This was exactly why I couldn’t stand this brutish group, they were always so quick to jump to outrageous assumptions, thinking the worst of someone like me just because I’m in Slytherin.

He looks relieved and confused at the same time, but I don’t really care to help him unpack his complex emotions about the exact reasoning behind why I don’t trust him. 

I dump my books down onto the table I had claimed earlier and began to scour the table of contents in the first one. Uninvited, Remus took the chair next to me and began looking over my shoulder at the book. 

“Can I help you, Lupin? Or are you just interested in being a nuisance?” 

“I’m glad to be a nuisance any day, but as I’ve said before I was actually hoping to help you.”

“And as I’ve said before I’m not looking for any help.” 

“But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Is that this close to our OWLs you’re scouring books for something that you think you’ve missed, but you’ve been at the top of our classes all year, so I highly doubt you’ve managed to miss anything of real importance.” I give him a confused look, trying to discern how he’s figured me out so easily. Except he’s wrong, of course, I did somehow manage to lose the year a specific herb was realized to have certain medicinal properties. “So now I’m trying to answer the question of what does little miss Slytherin Princess think that she desperately needs to know, and will that really be the determining factor in her score on her OWLs?”

I glance around to make sure no one else is listening to me admitting defeat in front of a Gryffindor. “I don’t have the year we began to use hyssop to treat earaches,” I murmur. 

Remus’s face seems to fall at my admission. “That’s what you’re so concerned about? A minor herb’s medicinal use? Not even that, you already know that, but what year that was discovered? That is such a niche detail, there is absolutely no way Sprout asks us that.”

I roll my eyes. “Obviously Sprout’s not going to ask us about that, it’s Binns that I’m worried about,” I explain. Although I really shouldn’t be giving my enemy any help in preparing for our upcoming tests. I was just as desperate to best him on these tests as I’m sure he was me. 

“Binns?” He asks, outraged. “Binns would never ask about that in a million years.”

“You don’t know that, no one knows that. We had a lecture on the history of medicinal herbs, hyssop was one of them.”

“And so you really think that from that one lecture he’s going to ask us when hyssop was discovered to help with earaches?”

“I was reviewing my notes and I had written down the year but it got smudged.”

“You’re actually a raving lunatic,” Remus tells me. He looks around the library like he might get up and leave, but then he turns back to me. “I realize these are the most important tests of the year, but I think you have way overestimated the difficulty of the questions that will be on them.”

“And I think you can never be too safe.”

We hold each other’s gaze for several moments. Remus finally blinks and then sighs. “Confound it all, fine. Hand me one.” He holds his hand out expectantly. 

I stare at him, confused. 

“Well? Are we going to look for this blasted year or not?” I blink out of my stupor and hand him one of the books I had grabbed. 

We sit in silence for a long while, pouring over the texts. The only sound in this part of the library is us turning pages. The first book I look through doesn’t contain my answer, and neither must the book Remus has. Although I am tempted to go back later and double check he didn’t find it and not tell me in an effort to trick me. 

After I get through two more books and Remus goes through three, I can’t stop myself from asking the question that had been nagging in the back of my head the entire time. 

“Why exactly are you helping me? Surely you’d much rather be focused on your own studying.”

Remus slowly pulls his attention away from the book in front of him. He blinks at me and then furrows his brows. “Sorry, I know you said something, I just didn’t quite catch what,” he admits. 

I can’t help the small laugh at his honesty. “Why are you helping me? I thought you’d want to be studying for your OWLs.”

“I am studying for my OWLs,” he replies, tauntingly. I roll my eyes at him. 

“Come on, you know what I meant,” I push. 

He shrugs and I think that’s going to be all the answer I get, then after a pause he says, “you’ve intrigued me. I’m curious now to find out when we started using hyssop for earaches.” There’s something about his tone that’s off, but I mark it down to him just teasing me. “Besides, I’m already plenty prepared to get a perfect score and take my spot at the top of the class.”

I laugh at his taunting. “Clearly not prepared enough if you’re not well versed in the history of hyssop,” I tease back. 

He gives me a winning smile and something in my chest stutters at it. I must just be unsettled by his obviously false flattery. 

“Can I ask you something in return?” He asks after a moment. 

I consider him, then reply, “I don’t promise to answer, but you’re welcome to ask.” 

He smiles again and this time it feels like my heart has been squeezed just a bit. “Well I suppose that’s fair. But are you always so…” he trails off and I get nervous at where he’s going with this. “Well, are you always so intense about knowing every little detail?” He finally finishes. 

It must be relief that floods my veins when he doesn’t ask anything backhanded or rude. I actually give him a smile before glancing down at my lap. 

“I have to be, don’t I? There’s one way to stay where I am and it’s by rigorous study,” I admit. 

“Is it really so important to stay at the top that you have to obsess like this, though?” 

I think back to what happened when I would slack off with my studies at home before coming to Hogwarts. I can’t help the way my face falls at the memories. 

“I suppose it might not be so important to a Gryffindor, but success is a high priority in Slytherin,” I finally respond. It seems when I don’t know how to react I lash out, although Remus is lucky to have caught me in a good mood as I let him off rather easily. 

Nonetheless he still looks a bit dejected by my response. I feel a bit bad for shutting him down when we had been starting to get along rather well. 

“We should probably focus on the matter at hand, though, if we ever want to find our answer before curfew,” I say, returning to the book in front of me. 

“Right…” Remus murmurs. Part of me expects him to leave at that point, after all that’s when everyone else does. He surprises me when he stays and doubles down his efforts. 

I open my mouth, to say what I’m not entirely sure. I close my mouth again when I realize that I want to apologize. There’s no way that Remus wants some half baked apology from me. 

Time passes in silence, the both of us occupied with our search, but my mind keeps wandering to the way I had snapped at Remus. I didn’t understand why he had sat down to help me, but I shouldn’t have antagonized him for asking a simple question. It wasn’t his fault that the answer wasn’t so simple. 

I can’t help stealing glances of him every few minutes, which significantly hinders my speed in reading my book, but Remus doesn't seem to notice and I can’t get myself to stop. This means that I notice almost immediately when Remus freezes suddenly. I try not to react, not wanting to have been caught looking.

“Holy shit!” He nearly shouts, someone nearby shushes him loudly, but he’s too busy jumping out of his seat to mind. “Oh, Merlin’s beard I actually found it!” He whispers loudly this time and pumps his fist. Standing at his height above me while I sit next to him I have to strain my neck to look up at his face, but it’s such a beautiful sight with how excited he is.

“You mean you actually found the year?” I ask, matching his excitement.

He nods enthusiastically at me then points to the line of text that contains the answer we’d spent hours searching for. “Yes, yes, look! It’s right there.”

We celebrate as quietly as we can and I quickly jot down the information into my notes. 

“Oh, thank you, Remus! You’ve just saved me probably three hours.” I stand to join him. It’s then that I finally check the time and realize just how close it is to curfew. “Ah, shit,” I murmur. “We should turn in for the night. I don’t fancy having a run-in with Filch tonight.”

“Let me walk you to your dorm?” Remus offers.

“What? It’s nearly curfew, you’ll risk getting in trouble with Filch. No, I’m perfectly capable of seeing myself to my dorms for the night,” I reply firmly. 

“Don’t worry about me, dove, I can handle myself. Let me walk you to your dorm.” This time Remus sounds more like he’s telling me than asking me. Nevertheless I nod in agreement and we make our way to the Slytherin common room in the dungeons. 

On the way down, Remus teases me lightly about how obsessed I must be to dedicate so much effort into finding such a small detail. I tease him back about him being a nerd for helping me look for the answer. It’s lighthearted and easy and part of me thinks I could get used to having Remus as a friend. Another part of me questions what it would look like for me to be friends with a Gryffindor and whether my parents would approve or not. Then the first part kicks the second part for being such a self-obsessed ass. 

Just outside the entrance to the Slytherin common room I wave goodbye to Remus and wish him a good night. I try not to blush when he calls me “dove,” and dart into the safety of the common room. 

─

The next few weeks Remus seems to make it a habit of running into me in the library when I would otherwise be alone. In the past I had tried studying with Narcissa or Andromeda but the pair of them had bad habits of wanting to chat while I wanted to actually study, so my time in the library had previously been spent alone. 

Remus was different, though. He understood my desire to focus on the material in front of me and not whether or not his hair was looking frizzier than normal. 

Before I knew it I had come to rather enjoy his company. It felt almost reassuring that there was someone else who was similarly interested in studying, but wanted to do it with me. Somehow it was like studying at the same table as him made studying that much better, even if nothing of substance had changed. 

─

On a Saturday morning, a couple weeks before we were to begin taking our OWLs, I went out to the Black Lake just before the sun rose. I had slept fitfully, getting more and more nervous for the tests ahead of me. There was so much pressure to do good on these, I didn’t know what I would do if I were anything less than perfect. 

I don’t know why exactly I came out here, I just knew that I needed fresh air. Without much else of a plan, I sat down at the trunk of a tree and pulled out my wand. I practiced a couple small charms and transfigurations on the branches and rocks around me. 

“I’d say that rock doesn’t stand a chance against you, but I’d like to know what it did to deserve such treatment in the first place.”

I dropped the spell I had been using to propel the rock in the air and it fell swiftly. There likely wasn’t anyone in the school who I would not have been shocked to see, but I was especially shocked it was none other than James Potter. He’s a fairly popular boy my age in Gryffindor, mostly known for his outspokenness and disruptive behavior. If my memory serves me right, which it always does, he’s actually friends with Remus Lupin.

“What are you doing out here so early?” I can’t help but ask.

“I could ask the same of you,” he points out. I finally take him in at that moment. He’s wearing loose shorts and an old Gryffindor quidditch t-shirt that he’s cut the bottom half off to show off his athletic build. His curly hair is a mess atop his head, but I get the notion it’s always like that. When I meet his eyes I’m struck by how blue they are that I can notice even with him standing several feet in front of me. I can’t help but think to myself how pretty he is. He gives me a dorky smile, as if used to the attention but still not sure how to respond.

“Couldn’t sleep so well. Thought some fresh air would do me some good,” I finally answer, not acknowledging how I’d just been looking at him.

“Some fresh air and tormenting rocks?” He teases.

“Is that all you think we Slytherins do? Torment everything?” I huff. 

His face twists at my response. “No, no that’s not what I meant at all. It was just a joke, most people laugh at them.”

I sigh and lean back against the trunk of the tree. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit on edge,” I admit, though I’m not sure why I feel the urge to open up to this next to perfect stranger.

James takes a few steps closer and I tense up, but he just takes a seat next to me under the tree. “What’s got you so on edge?” 

“Is that another one of your jokes? The OWLs obviously.”

“Oh, right. I suppose those are coming up soon.” He pauses and tears some grass in front of him. “What’re you stressed over those for?” 

My brows pinch together and I stare at him like he’s grown a second head. “They’re only the most important tests of the entire school year, of our entire schooling career thus far! These will determine our entire futures.”

It’s James’s turn to look at me like I’m crazy. “They’re just another test, though. And I really don’t see how they’ll determine our entire futures,” he says plainly. 

I scoff and roll my eyes. Leave it to a Gryffindor to blow off something so important. 

“Look, I know you’ve got this whole thing about being perfect in every subject and staying ahead of everyone else, so I’ll make you a deal.” I turn to him, my interest piqued. “If you do any less than perfect on each of your OWLs, I’ll turn all the professor’s hair purple,” he offers.

My jaw drops at his suggestion. “What on earth would that accomplish?”

“Well I figure people won’t be talking about what grade you got on your OWLs if they’re too busy talking about Dumbledore with a lilac beard,” he’s laughing even as he says it. I laugh, too, at that image. 

“Make it bright pink and I’ll help you,” I reply through giggles. 

James gives me his award-winning dorky smile and I can’t tear my eyes away. 

“Seriously, though, I’ll bet you’ve already gotten perfect scores on every other test this year, there can’t be anyone else more prepared than you.”

“Thank you,” I mumble, not used to outright compliments that weren’t also an insult. My gaze falls to where James is still fiddling with the grass. “A bit antsy, are you?”

“Sorry,” he sighs, “I’ve been trying to work on that. I actually came out here to go for a run, it helps me burn some of my extra energy before the day so I can focus a bit better.”

I can’t imagine wanting to start the day by burning through energy, I often woke up with barely enough to make it through the day. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to be keeping you. I can go back inside if you want to run by yourself,” I offer and even before I finish talking, I’m pushing to stand up. 

“No, no you’re fine!” He’s quick to reassure me. “Please, stay. Actually if you want you could join me, it might help you clear your mind.”

I consider for a moment before deciding to agree. There couldn’t be much harm in it, it was still at least another hour before most people would get up for the day and I didn’t have anything better to do. 

While we run I can’t help glancing over to James, who’s clearly in his own world.

The sun began to peak over the horizon, slowly illuminating our path. At one point the sun is behind James when I steal another glance at him, and the way the light catches on his features makes him look like a real life angel.

James proves to be right, the run did help me to clear my mind. When we stop back where we had started I’m feeling significantly lighter than before, even if I am breathing significantly heavier. 

“That was… fun,” I am slow to admit. “Thank you, Potter.”

“Anytime, darling.” He gives me another goofy smile. “Feel free to join me whenever you like, I come out at the same time everyday.”

“I just might take you up on that.”

─

I don’t know what makes me do it, but I take James Potter up on his offer every day for a week straight. I quickly come to enjoy the ritual of it, waking up before dawn, sneaking out of my dorm, getting the fresh air and clearing my mind before the day. 

James’s presence was a reassuring one, even if we didn’t always talk much. I had the sense that he would listen to anything I needed to say and offer encouragement. 

As our OWLs loom ever closer I come to rely on our runs to center me in the mornings more and more, but I also question how long James will continue to let me join him. He never says anything to indicate he doesn’t want me to join, though, so I take him at face value and keep meeting him under our tree every morning. 

─

The night before we’re to start our OWLs I find myself unable to sleep for even a minute. Of course this wasn’t a problem for my dorm mates who had fallen asleep at least two hours ago. 

I toss and turn, thinking that maybe if I could just get comfortable I could get to sleep. Of course I have no such luck. Eventually I decide that drastic times call for drastic measures. 

I don’t have to worry about being too quiet as I climb out of my bed, pull on a jumper, and slip on my sneakers. I’ve mastered this routine from sneaking out for my morning runs. 

Two years prior Narcissa was sniffling and sneezing her brains out, but didn’t want to wake Madam Pomfrey for medicine. Andromeda insisted we could take care of her ourselves, she just needed a good, hot cup of tea to clear her system. I never knew where she learned it, but she showed me a way to slip into the kitchens undetected. She then showed me which cabinet to find the herbs in, and also which herbs were the right ones. And then she showed me how to use the kettle. 

It was amazing how much better Narcissa was able to sleep after she finished her cup of tea, and the next day she was right as rain. I quickly became obsessed with the simple magic behind a “good cup of tea” and asked Andromeda to tell me everything she knew about the different recipes and ingredients. When her knowledge proved to be rather limited I went on a rampage in the library until I was satisfied─ a good two weeks later. 

My plan was a simple blend to help me sleep and settle my nerves. Chamomile and cinnamon was sounding particularly tasty, although I was considering whether I might like lavender with rosemary more. Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice at first there was already someone else in the kitchens. Thankfully when I did I only jumped a little. 

Confused, I stared at Sirius Black as he took a kettle off one of the stoves. He gave me an amused look in return. 

“Couldn’t sleep either?” He guessed.

“No, I’m quite afraid not.”

He gave me a sad smile in understanding. “Have a seat, I’ll make you a cup,” he offered. I can’t say why I listened, but I did. Maybe in a moment of weakness before a highly stressful event I didn’t care that I didn’t know him much, I just wanted to let someone take care of me. 

“Any preference on what kind?” He asks.

“Hmm, I was debating between chamomile with cinnamon or lavender with rosemary,” I say. Then, because I can’t help myself, I proceed to list off my many thoughts on the benefits of each ingredient and what might best suit my current situation. 

Lost in my thoughts, I don’t notice that Sirius has made a decision for me and already started steeping the herbs in the water. I’ve somehow veered off onto what might make a good combination if Sirius was having a headache, or if his headache was caused by a cold and he had other symptoms what could help with that. 

To his credit, he never once interrupts or even looks bored. In fact the entire time he seems to regard me with mild amusement, and I begin to get the impression that everything he encounters in life amuses him. 

I don’t even stop rambling about tea when he sets my cup in front of me. After taking a sip, I start to tell him how very fond I am of lemon balm, then pause when I finally realize the cup of tea is already made. 

For the first time since Sirius asked what kind of tea I wanted, he is finally given a chance to say something. “Are you sure you weren’t meant to be in Ravenclaw?”

I scoff at his suggestion. “Don’t be absurd, Slytherins can be just as studious as Ravenclaws, we just typically hold our cards a little closer to our chest.”

“Right.” He nods. “This was you holding your cards close to your chest?” He then questions.

“Well it’s not like there’s any great secret behind tea. And besides, even if I haven’t been able to sleep I am quite tired.” A yawn escapes me just then to prove my point. “Narcissa always complains about my tendency to ramble when I’m tired.”

“Why would she complain? I found it rather entertaining,” he says, lightheartedly. Even though his tone has a hint of joking to it, I feel like he’s being honest. 

I give him a small smile before taking another sip from my cup. It’s still quite hot, but the flavors are still strong. “Mmm, this is quite delicious,” I compliment. “Is it chamomile with… rosemary?” 

Sirius gives me a proud grin. “Ten points to Slytherin,” he jokes. A smile falls on my face. 

“What have you made for yourself?” I ask, glancing at his cup. 

“Vanilla and rose.” 

“That sounds lovely. I can’t believe I hadn’t thought of that before.”

“James’s mum makes it for us all the time. Do you want to try a sip?” He offers. I nod quickly and he passes over his cup. Sure enough it’s a delightful mixture. I tell him such and he tells me the measurements so that I can make it for myself. 

“So what’s keeping you up on this otherwise peaceful night?” Sirius asks.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I groan. He looks at me dumbly, confused as to what the obvious answer might be. “We start our OWLs tomorrow,” I scoff. 

“Merlin, you can’t really be this stressed about it.” He sounds disbelieving, though I’m not sure why. 

“I can and I am,” I say, matter-of-factly. He rolls his eyes and turns to begin putting away the tea kettle. “Why are you up, if not because of the OWLs?” I then ask.

“Not for any good reason. Have always had trouble sleeping,” he says, but the tightness in his voice, and the way he tugs at a lock of hair behind his ear tells me there’s something else he doesn’t want to share. I can’t fault him for that, though. “Which of your OWLs do you feel most prepared for?” He asks after a moment of tense silence. 

It throws me off for just a second. Most people want to know which test I’m most nervous for, want to know what area I’m weakest in, where the chip in my armor is so that they might strike there. I consider for a moment, not wanting to say something that I end up bombing. Eventually, I decide on my favorite subject. Sirius seems to accept that answer without pushing any further, so I turn it on him. 

“Defense Against the Dark Arts,” he answers almost immediately. “I want to be an auror,” he brags. 

I roll my eyes at the proud smirk on his face. “Of course you do.”

“Well? What do you want to be?” Sirius asks as if expecting a lame answer such as archivist. 

“My parents want me to be an alchemist,” I reply in what I would guess is a lame answer.

“That’s great for them, what do you want to be, though?” Looking into his eyes at that moment feels as if he’s staring into my soul. 

“I… I don’t know,” I mumble slowly and my brows furrow. I can’t help but look at my cup of tea, half empty at this point. No one had ever asked me what I wanted before, not when it came to something so major. It was always assumed I would follow the path my parents laid for me. 

When I find the courage to look back up to Sirius he has a sympathetic look on his face. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” I snap.

In return, Sirius’s face pinches in anger. “I wasn’t looking at you any type of way,” he defends.

“Yes, you were, you had this look on your face like you were sad for me,” I accuse. “Don’t be sad for me.”

“I’m not sad for you─”

“Good, because you have no reason to be. My life is great and everything is perfectly fine.” The way I say it even Sirius can tell that I’m trying to convince myself more than him at this point. I let out a frustrated sigh. I want to say something about how I’m a great witch and I’m meant to be an alchemist, but another voice in my head whispers to explain how I really feel.

“Look,” I start, then trail off. 

“It’s complicated,” he finishes for me. “I get it. I’m sure you know about my family, you know I get it.” His voice is so soft as he talks to me, as if I’m a frightened animal. But despite my flaws I am still a Slytherin, and I do not appreciate being treated like a frightened animal. 

“Leave it to a Gryffindor to be so self-absorbed they assume everyone knows their tragic tale of woe. Maybe instead of staying up late to make tea and trying to relate to girls you hardly know you should work on your form for your smokescreen spell.” The words spill out of me before I even consider them. I don’t even take the time to be shocked at my outburst. Instead I storm off. 

“Yeah, you’re one to talk about self-absorbed, Princess!” He shouts at my back. I nearly flinch at the nickname, but keep going out of the kitchens and straight back up to my dorm.

─ 

The morning before the first day of our OWLs testing I follow my same routine. I wake up early to run with James, and he tries to ask if I’m feeling alright, but I brush him off and neither of us acknowledges the way I push myself harder on this run than I ever had before. 

After our run, I go back up to my dorm to shower and get ready for the day. My dorm mates still haven’t caught on yet that I’ve started getting up hours earlier. They do ask if I’m feeling flush and press their hands to my forehead, though. I shove them off with a grumbled, “I’m fine,” and shove my things for the day into my bag. 

In the Great Hall I can hardly stomach a plain slice of toast, but I just manage to get it down with some orange juice. I feel a bit queasy, but today is too important to pay that feeling any mind. 

On my way to the first test of the day, I think back to Remus’s reassuring words from our study session the night before. 

“Look, I know trying to reassure you that you’ll do great won’t get through to you, even if I have never been more sure of anything in my life,” Remus says softly, almost hesitantly. “Instead I hope you know that it will be okay if you aren’t perfect.” My heart hits my stomach and I drop my quill. I start to shut down, prepare to lash out. Why would he say that? He thinks I won’t be perfect? 

“Maybe other people will have different opinions, but I will still be your friend and I know that everything will turn out okay for you.”

Oh. My heart flutters back to life. We’re friends? 

For once in my life, I do not lash out at someone for trying to get closer to me, for saying something honest that I wasn’t ready to hear. 

I give him a sad smile. “Thanks, Remus.” I pause for a long moment. “I’m glad you’re my friend,” I whisper. Then, because I’m not sure how to proceed after that, I stiffly turn back to my notes. Remus, ever the gentleman, goes back to his book and doesn’t push me any further. 

I don’t think anyone had ever told me before that it was okay to be anything less than perfect, but his words become my mantra for the day. 

“It will be okay if I’m not perfect,” I think to myself as I walk into the classroom. 

I take a seat next to Narcissa. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

The professor instructs us to start. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

I read over every question three times. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

I double check each of my answers. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

I finish the last question. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

I walk up to the front of the class and turn in my test. It will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

As I leave the classroom I’ve almost convinced myself that it will be okay if I’m not perfect. 

My stomach begins to churn and I walk straight to the nearest bathroom, into one of the stalls, and promptly begin to lose my breakfast. I hear the door open behind me when I’ve stopped heaving. 

“Think you’ve found yourself in the wrong bathroom, Princess,” someone says mockingly. Footsteps come closer to me. “Oh shit, are you okay?”

I hadn’t bothered to lock the stall door behind me, so I’m able to turn and see Sirius Black. Again. I give him a horrified look. 

“What the bloody hell are you doing in the girls’ room?” I nearly shout at him.

“Actually you’re the one who’s walked into the boys’ room,” he informs me. I give him a disbelieving look until he shifts and my gaze falls on a line of urinals behind him. My face blushes profusely and I stare at Sirius, mortified. He gives me a pitying look. “It’s okay, pretty girl, you’re clearly not feeling well. Stay there for a moment.”

Still in shock, I stay put. I hear the sink running for a moment, then Sirius comes back with a damp towel. He hands it to me to wipe my face. 

“Thanks,” I murmur. 

“Don’t sweat it,” he replies. With a tender hand, he helps me to my feet when I’m ready. “Let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey, then.”

“Oh, no, that’s really not necessary. It must’ve just been something I had at breakfast,” I lie. 

Sirius gives me a disbelieving look. “You’ve clearly worried yourself sick and we both know it.”

I don’t reply as I follow him out of the bathroom. My plan was to start going in the direction of the hospital wing, then double back to the library to keep studying. Sirius’s plan was to follow me.

“I’m more than capable of walking myself to the hospital wing,” I say tersely. 

“And I’m more than capable of walking with you. I’m glad we’ve determined our abilities for this excursion.” 

I shoot him a glare that would scare off most other people. Sirius doesn’t even blink at me. My new plan: ignore Sirius as he insists on walking me to see Pomfrey. 

“How did you feel about it?” He asked after a moment. 

I don’t respond. 

“I personally thought some of the questions were a bit repetitive, like I had to explain myself multiple times.” 

I stay strong. 

“But maybe that’s a bad sign that I didn’t do as good as I thought.” 

Just keep staring straight ahead, he has to shut up eventually, I think to myself. 

“On the second question─”

“Would you just shut up already?” I snapped. I was stressed enough over how I did without reliving it with someone I didn’t even like. 

Sirius holds his hands up defensively. “Someone’s cranky,” he says with a laugh.

“I am not cranky, I just don’t particularly care to discuss the test with you.” My eyes roll of their own volition. 

“What should you care to discuss then?” He asks. 

“With you? Not much.” Maybe if I can discourage him enough he’ll grow bored and wander off. 

“It’s a bit of a trek to the hospital wing from here, though, and I’ve found conversation to be a great way to pass time.” Of course, I should know that Gryffindors are not so easily discouraged.

“I’ve found that there’s no reason for you to walk all the way to the hospital wing with me.” 

“Wow, are you like this all the time?” He finally snaps back.

“Like what?” I pretend to be ignorant. 

He scoffs at me. “Rude, Princess. Are you always so rude?”

I flare up at the nickname. The way he says it, it feels like he knows I don’t like it. 

“Nobody asked you to pester me,” I say. 

“Most people would consider this an act of kindness, not pestering.”

“How unfortunate for you that I am not like most people.” 

“It would do you a bit of good to learn something from them, maybe you could start with some manners.”

“I’m perfectly well mannered, thank you very much. You’re the one who didn’t listen when I told you I was fine to walk by myself, and you’re the one working yourself up by staying with me when you could bug off to literally anywhere else.” With that I begin to speed up to leave him behind.

Sirius actually stops for just a moment, as if really considering my words. Then he rushes to catch up to me. “No, I want to know what’s so bloody great about you,” he says. 

I give him a strange look. “I never claimed for anything to be so great about me.”

“Maybe not but you sure act like it, so tell me: what is so bloody great about you? What makes you so special that you think yourself better than everyone else here?”

It’s my turn to stop in my tracks. “Who the hell said I think I’m better than everyone?”

“No one has to say it, Princess.” The way he says Princess feels like venom on his tongue. 

I want to hit him. Punch him in the face and give him a great bloody nose. I want to hex him. Maybe knock him off his feet. I want to scream at him. Scream that I don’t think myself better than everyone, that I’m just an imposter pretending to be perfect all the time. 

It will be okay if I’m not perfect.

Tears start to well in my eyes. I haven’t cried since I was eleven and my family was getting ready to drop me off at Hogwarts for the first time. 

“Do not cry, darling, it’s unbecoming,” my mother says to me. “Soon you will be sorted into Slytherin and prepare to continue your family’s legacy. You must show strength at all times, even if you do not feel it. We can not be perceived as weak.”

A single tear snakes out of the corner of my eye and down the apple of my cheek. I look down and it falls to the ground by my feet. Another tear falls, and before I know it I am fully crying. I start to struggle to breathe. 

When I look back up to Sirius he looks terrified. He must think he’s what’s made me cry. The truth is it’s the last five years that have built up to weigh on me continually. It’s the way my life was gilded and no one had ever cared to look below the surface until a few weeks ago when Remus Lupin offered to help me study. Until James Potter offered to go for a run. Until Sirius Black offered me a cup of tea. 

My quiet tears begin to turn into choked sobbing as I realize how sad my life really was, that these three Gryffindors had shown me a kind of genuine caring that I hadn’t known could exist. 

Hesitantly, Sirius takes my hand to lead me over to a nearby bench so I can sit down and try to collect myself. It takes several minutes for me to control my breathing, and several more for my tears to subside. I finally look down to notice that I’m still holding Sirius’s hand, that I’d actually been holding it quite firmly. 

“Oh, Merlin, I’m so sorry,” I say, my voice hoarse, as I release his hand from my grasp. “You were right. Everything is so very complicated.”

Sirius gives me that same look he did last night, and I realize. He wasn’t sad for me, he understood me. But how was it fair that he would get to leave, when his brother and I were left behind with our authoritarian families? Selfishly, I think maybe he could show me the way.

I sit there, lost in my thoughts, for a long while. Sirius stays with me. Eventually the bells toll to indicate it was time for lunch. When I glance up at Sirius, he’s already looking at me. 

“Can I make you an offer?” He asks. 

I grow weary at his words. “I would suppose that depends on what the offer is.”

“Well, your eyes are red and swollen and you’ve got mascara tracked down your cheeks,” he starts and I grow horrified as I realize what I must look like. There was no way I could go into the Great Hall looking like the mess I surely am. He lets out a small laugh at my expression. “Why don’t you go clean up, and I’ll grab us some lunch from the Great Hall. We can meet in the south courtyard.”

I was amazed that even after I’d been so mean to him, he would still be so kind to me. 

“That would be quite nice actually. Thank you,” I reply softly. 

Sirius gives me a swift nod, then helps me to stand up. We go our separate ways, me to my dorm to wash my face and apply some fresh mascara and concealer, and Sirius to the Great Hall. 

─

I’ve just sat down in a corner of the courtyard for a couple minutes when Sirius shows up. I try not to look too shocked when James and Remus appear with him. Of course, I knew they were all friends, they went galavanting around the entire school proclaiming themselves marauders, but I’d never interacted with all three of them together. 

It suddenly occurs to me that they likely share a dorm, and very well could have planned this all to be some grand prank on me. But they had all seemed so genuinely kind to me until this point, and I was so tired of constantly second guessing everyone’s intentions. I decided that if this were some prank I would let them have their fun at me, then show them the real wrath of Slytherin. 

The three of them quickly set up a small picnic and begin lighthearted conversation. James compliments the way my hair looks today. Sirius teases James for the way his hair looks everyday, although I would argue it flatters him I don’t say that aloud. Remus gives me a knowing look as the two begin bickering. 

Spending time with the three of them is easy, and feels right. Like it was always meant to be the four of us all together. None of them mentions my earlier breakdown, or even anything to do with our tests. I wonder what Sirius told them before they all came out here. Whatever it was, none of them shows me any judgment so I can guess he must have skipped over my rude behavior. 

I’m sad when the bells ring again to signify the end of lunch. We clean up our area of the courtyard, then head back inside. Over the course of my time with the boys I feel my spirits lifted significantly, feeling much better and ready to face the next two weeks of tests. 

It will be okay if I’m not perfect, I think to myself again, and this time I really do believe it. Because even if I’m only just getting to know Remus, James, and Sirius, I know that they are my friends and they’ll be there for me.

[moonstruckme]

And then I have one but idk which marauder to make it for so I’ll let you pick whoever you think it fits better. I have to take medicine for my OCD and anxiety but it’s embarrassing. So I’m like imagining who you pick staying the night with the reader and her skipping her medicine because she’s embarrassed but being off medicine messes you up. So clearly the reader would be alittle down and out of it so her friend asks her if she’s okay and if she took her medicine. Welllllll the marauder hears that and later that night when they are getting ready for bed he simply hands her a glass and asks her to take her medicine please and mentions how he wants all of her that includes the quirks, need for medicine, and need for comfort sometimes too.

I decided to make this part of the Sirius x Remus' roommate saga, hope that's alright! Thanks for requesting sweetheart <3

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

cw: some symptoms of withdrawal, reader takes prescription meds

modern au

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 1.5k words

Apparently, even when Sirius gets you out of your flat for the weekend, Remus is still always in the middle of things. 

“I can’t believe you got him to watch New Girl,” Remus complains over speakerphone as you make yourself a cup of tea. Sirius had offered to do it for you, but you’d brushed him off, and he’d been too busy secretly delighting in how comfortable you are in his flat to argue further. “James and I have been trying to get him to watch the first episode for years.” 

“Mmm, you’ve got to start on season three to get people interested, then go back,” you tell him wisely. “I showed him my favorite episode, the one with…uh…”

You trail off, and Sirius looks at you over the top of the couch. There’s a dissatisfied pinch between your brows.

“The one with the spider?” Remus prompts knowingly. 

“Right.” You blink a couple of times, refocusing on your mug as you pour hot water in over the teabag. “That one.” 

“Well, the apartment is quiet without you, but I’m glad you’re having fun.” 

Sirius’ mouth curls as he waits for your response. Though he sometimes still gets jealous of the easy intimacy between you as roommates, he’s come to enjoy the entertainment value of your banter with Remus. The apartment’s just as quiet with me, you’ll say, or You don’t even want to know what kind of fun we’re having. 

But your gaze has gone distant, and after a few seconds, the reply doesn’t seem like it’s going to come. 

Sirius feels worry snake around his ribcage, a light but noticeable pressure. A few hours ago, you’d complained of a headache, and ever since then you’ve seemed in an odd headspace. You’re quieter than you’ve ever been around him, you claimed not to feel like lunch, and he’s caught you stumbling or losing track of your thoughts on more than a couple occaisions. He’d asked once if you’d wanted to go home, but you’d promised you were fine and Sirius didn’t want to push the issue. He loves having you here, he really does, but he hopes it’s nothing about being in his home that’s making you seem so…off. He’d compromised by suggesting you show him that show you’re always referencing (Remus and James were right, it actually is pretty good) in the hopes that a few hours of relaxation would help restore you to yourself, but you don’t seem to be feeling better. 

Even over the phone, Remus picks up on it too. “You alright?” 

“Mm?” You blink. “Oh, yeah.” There’s a forced cheer to your voice, and Sirius watches as you roll your shoulders as if bracing yourself. “I’m just a little tired, I guess.” 

Remus hums, the sound crackling through the speaker. “Did you take your medicine last night?” 

You take him off speaker. Sirius turns when your eyes dart towards where he’s sitting on the couch, taking the coward’s way out on instinct and pretending he wasn’t paying attention. 

“I’m fine,” you say quietly into the phone. Sirius can’t hear Remus well enough anymore to make out his response, but he recognizes the slow, coaxing inflection of his friend’s voice. Your own tone sharpens in contrast, though you sound heartbreakingly exhausted. “I’ve got it. Yep, thanks. See you tomorrow.” 

You blow on your tea as you join Sirius on the couch, not a trace of apprehension about you. He extends his arm invitingly, and you slot underneath it like it’s home. 

“I gather you two aren’t used to time apart,” he teases, trying to entice a smile from you. 

It works, albeit only slightly. The curve of your lips is minute, but he’ll take it. “We’re both homebodies,” you say simply. “We’ve grown too used to being around each other.” 

“His privilege and your curse,” Sirius laments, exaggerating his grunt when you elbow him in the ribs. “Fine, you’re both very lucky. I’m just glad I managed to snag you for one weekend.” When he aims a saccharine smile your way, he suspects you set your cheek on his shoulder as a ploy to hide your blush. It melts him regardless, like ice cream in the summertime. “Want to watch another episode, lovely girl?” 

He frowns when all that gets out of you is a hum, rubbing your bicep as he presses play. 

He manages to get some dinner into you by insisting you try takeaway from his favorite Thai place in the neighborhood, and you seem amenable to the idea of an early night, all but drooping over the sink as you brush your teeth. 

Sirius will never admit it, but his heart is pounding as he takes a glass down from above the kitchen sink, filling it with water. He hopes this isn’t a massive overreach. This thing between you is still relatively new, and the last thing he wants is to make your first stay at his place awkward for either of you, but he cares about you. From what Sirius can tell, you’ve withdrawn into what seems like an unhappy place inside your head, and he can’t just leave you there by yourself. 

He catches you just as you’re leaving the bathroom, passing you the glass of water as casually as he can, as if it's the most routine thing in the world, before taking your place at the sink. “Don’t forget your medicine,” he says softly, taking his toothbrush from beside yours in the cup.

For a moment, you’re quiet. Sirius squirts toothpaste onto his brush, trying his damndest not to look for your reaction in the mirror. 

“You heard Remus on the phone.” It’s almost a whisper. Nowhere close to a question.

“I didn’t mean to,” Sirius apologizes, glancing up at your reflection. You’re looking distant again, your gaze fixed somewhere to the left of his face. “I’m sorry if I heard something you didn’t want me to, but it’s…did you forget?” 

You take another long moment to reply. Sirius is careful to stay quiet, giving you space as you chew your lip, but when your eyes meet his in the mirror you look so crestfallen his heart nearly stops. “I didn’t forget,” you admit. “It’s just so embarrassing, I didn’t want you to know.” 

He can’t stay still anymore. His toothpaste drops with a wet smack into the bowl of the sink when he sets his toothbrush on the rim, and he’s got your hands in his in a second. “Sweetheart, what do you mean?” He keeps ahold of one of your hands, letting his other one coast up your arm to your shoulder, where his thumb massages your collarbone familiarly. “It’s not embarrassing. It’s just, it’s something you need to be yourself. Like…my sparkly doc martens, you know? Or Remus’ chocolate hoards.” 

Your laugh is brief, more a huffed exhale than anything, but Sirius grins at you nonetheless. His hand moves up to cup the back of your neck, thumb soothing over the edge of your jaw. 

“You know what I really like about you?” he asks. You don’t look inclined to answer, but your left brow flicks up as if to say Go on. “Everything.” 

You scoff, seeming lighter even as you pull away from grasp. “Shut up.” 

“No, really,” he insists, vying for your hand back. “Getting to know you, it’s been amazing. Every new thing I learn is just something more to like.” You finally stop fighting him, eyes wary as he grips you by the shoulders, keeping you in place. “I want to learn everything there is to know about you, whenever you’ll let me. And I know I can’t expect it all at once,” he says, voice dropping into a more sincere register, “but I want all of it, including the parts you think—wrongly, I might add—are embarrassing.” He gives your upper arms a light squeeze. “Got that, pretty girl?”

A light blush colors your cheeks, and Sirius grins. You’re getting harder to fluster these days, but he delights in making it happen whenever he can. “Okay,” you say, still a tad sheepish for his liking. He plants a kiss on your cheek. 

“Good. Now go get your meds. I don’t want you passing out during breakfast tomorrow because of withdrawal.” 

“That’s not how it works,” you snipe, but he hears the rattle of pills as you dig through your overnight bag. 

“Whatever,” he says breezily, picking up his toothbrush to put a new dollop of paste onto it. “I just can’t reckon with the idea that Remus still knows things about you I don’t. Shouldn’t I outrank him by now?” 

“You’ve had roommates,” you tell him, coming back into the bathroom with the glass of water half empty. “You’re really going to tell me that they don’t know more about you than I do right now?”

Sirius makes a noncommittal, muffled sound, pointing to his toothpaste-filled mouth as excuse not to answer. 

“Right,” you say drily. “Maybe we should call your pal Remus and see if he happens to recall.” 

Sirius has never spit so fast in his life. 

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Lily didn't know that fourteen was the year for kids to go love crazy. Ever since the term started she had heard her classmates talking about who they fancied or not, who was the fittest bird or bloke. Like Mary Macdonald who since the term began, didn't stop talking about how James Potter had gotten more handsome than ever.

Lily didn't agree. The prospect of being on the age of potentially starting having boyfriends excited her. She was a seeker for a good romance after all. But Lily didn't see her male classmates as fit or good matches like the rest of the girls. Specially not James Potter, who was her real nightmare since she met him three years ago. She couldn't find anyone more annoying, more irritating and more self centered as Potter. Lily didn't understand what Mary saw in him.

At least Lily could understand why half of the girls at Hogwarts were wondering if Sirius Black was single. Because only a blind person couldn't see how handsome that wanker was. But Potter? Really? With those big glasses and that untidy hair...

"Marly, you are his friend" Mary was saying that night "Do you think he would be interested in me?"

Lily was silent as she pretend to read a book from her bed.

Marlene made face "I don't think James is interested in anyone more than himself, if I'm honest"

Lily couldn't agree more.

"Oh come on! Boys are finally noticing us" Mary commented "And it is obvious that both boys and girls are more... developed" she smirked "James has always been cute. But he is taller and his voice is deeper... He's becoming a man"

Lily couldn't help but snort. James Potter could be a monkey more than a man.

Shit, now the girls were looking at her.

"Sorry" Lily blushed as she pointed to the book on her hands "Just read a funny scene"

The girls ignored her. Mary turned to Marlene again.

"Could you please ask him if he would be interested in me?"

"Do I have to?" Marlene didn't seem convinced, so Mary pouted.

"Pleaseee!"

Marlene twisted her mouth.

"Fine! I'll ask him"

Mary beamed, hugging her friend tight. Marlene was pleased.

"But honestly Mar, you can do so much better" she tutted.

Lily pitied Mary or the poor girl that ended up dating James Potter.

Perhaps she could give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe Potter had matured this year and poor Mary had a chance.

Although Lily confirmed that James Potter was the horrible person she always thought he was the next day.

Lily was minding her own business, walking to the Library in fact, when she heard the group of boys that called themselves The Marauders (lame name) talking on the stairs.

"That was the fifth time this week, Sirius" Peter said after a group of giggling girls waved at Sirius and he winked back "We haven't settled in properly and half the school is drooling for you"

Lily didn't know why she hid behind the wall to keep listening. It was none of her business. Well, maybe she was a curious person. Reason why she listened to Mary and Marlene talking last night. If her life was dull, maybe she could live it through other people's dramas.

"Speaking from envy, Pete?" Lily could hear the smile on Sirius’s voice "It's not my fault I have gorgeous looks"

"The difference is that Sirius announced he is not interested in dating any of them" Potter added with a cheeky tone "Didn't you, mate?"

"Not fair" Peter groaned "I want to date all of them"

"Don't sound so desperate, Pettigrew" Sirius chuckled "We just started term"

"Yeah but something weird happened since this summer. I can't stop watching girls and..."

"Wanking?" Potter asked with a laugh. Black laughed with him.

"Guys!" Peter protested and Lily assumed he was getting red.

Lily felt her cheeks burning. She had heard some of Petunia's friends talking about the matter before. But it seemed so weird, taboo and disgusting.

"Totally normal" Potter continued "Talked about it with my dad. We're getting older and we are having sexual needs"

"You talked about it with your dad?" Black seemed surprised.

"Well, by force" Potter confirmed, Lily could swore he was red "He caught me staring at several women's necklines during the summer, then sat me to talk about the matter"

God, Potter was so disgusting.

"And he told you about wanking and stuff?" Sirius asked amused.

"Not precisely, he just said that it is normal we look at girls and feel... Stuff..."

Lily shouldn't be listening to this. Oh my God. But her feet seemed to be stuck.

"I feel stuff" Peter confirmed as Sirius laughed.

"You guys are so pathetic"

"Don't tell me, Sirius, that you don't find girls interesting"

"There might be several, I consider interesting..."

"I consider them all interesting at the moment" Peter commented under his breath.

"There are several girls who... developed this year" Potter said. It was what Mary had said.

"Like who?" Black teased.

"Lily Evans, for example"

The second Potter said that, his friends bursted into fits of laughter. And Lily's eyes widened.

"Whinny Little Evans?"

"Snivellus's Friend?"

"Teacher's pet Evans?"

"What?" Potter protested as the two boys kept laughing "I saw her the other day with a tight blouse and she had boobs...A nice pair, I might add"

Lily stared down at her chest. They definitely had grown but other girls had them bigger and more rounded. Lily never considered she had a good body or good face for that matter.

Black and Pettigrew kept laughing as they couldn't believe Lily had actual boobs.

Lily imagined Potter's cheeks bright red and the annoying way in which he pushed his glasses up when he was nervous.

"Oh sod off! Stop laughing!"

Lily cursed herself for knowing that.

"Come on, Jamsie!" Sirius giggled "We're talking about Evans... Evaaans... The girl is nuts"

"And very annoying" Peter agreed "She always telling teachers what we do"

Lily pursed her lips. That was because they were always doing mischief.

"I know... I know..." Potter said nervously "I'm not saying I'm marrying her or anything. I just think she is fitter this term. I am not blind... "

"You are blind" Sirius chuckled "Her nose is too big and her braces make her look weird"

Lily felt a knot on her throat. She shouldn't care what that wanker said.

"Oh, she is not wearing braces anymore" Potter intervened "She looks better without them"

What annoyed Lily the most was that James Potter of all people was defending her.

"Did you hear, Pete?" Sirius laughed "Our Jamsie is in love with Whinny Evans"

"I am not!!" Potter seemed embarrassed "I just pointing out that she is kind of fit... That's... That's all"

Black continued laughing. The prat.

"Oh shut up, Sirius!"

"Good thing you don't fancy her" Peter intervened "I heard she is dating Snivellus"

Honestly, people were so annoying. Severus was her friend. Her best friend. A lot of people had assumed they were dating over the years. As if boys and girls couldn't be friends. Of course the rumor had spread now more since her classmates were more obsessed about the dating subject.

"See, Pete?" Sirius was mocking "Even Snivellus is dating someone and not you"

"Fuck off, Sirius!"

"Honestly, Evans deserve better than old Snivellus" Potter commented with a tut.

"Like you, my brilliant hero?"

Black was a disgusting pig, he made everything a joke.

"I'm just saying it because no matter how annoying she is... Nobody deserves to date someone so disgusting as Snivellus... Too much grease!"

Lily clenched her fist. She could punch him. Why wouldn't they leave Severus alone?

"Yeah, right" Sirius tutted.

"And maybe yes! I would be an improvement for Evans, surely"

It was Peter's turn to laugh.

"She would never give you a chance!"

"What's that supposed to mean, Pete?"

"Pete is right" Black added "She hates you, mate"

Potter gasped. Right it just hurt his ego.

"I bet pigs would fly before Evans gives you a chance" Peter added.

"Oh do you want to bet?" James asked now with his annoying superior tone. "I bet I can get Evans on a date before Peter even gets a date"

Lily had her mouth open now. Pettigrew would surely get offended. But he didn't show it

"Oh it is on!" he spat "I will totally win this. Evans despises you"

Lily did. Even more now.

There was a brief silence now, so Lily assumed they shook hands.

"I want to be in" Black added.

"No no no!" Peter said "It is too easy for you"

"Put me an impossible, then"

What a pig!

"McGonagall!" James exclaimed. The other boys laughed.

"Very funny"

"Okay... There's not impossible for you, though"

"How about a number?" Sirius said "I snog twenty girls before Christmas break"

"Twenty!?" Peter was shocked.

Lily couldn't hear anymore. She was so angry and disgusted that she was going to commit murder if she continued there any longer.

Lily's anger lasted all day. She couldn't concentrate on her classes, which annoyed her. She couldn't stop thinking about how much she wanted those boys to die. She hated them. She loathed them. Especially Potter.

Lily was spiteful at dinner. She was grunting under her breath. And aggressively serving herself the food.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked next to her.

Lily took a deep breath "Everyone is so annoying this term... Talking about dating and stuff... Aarrg it is so irritating"

Severus blinked at her.

"Ignore them"

"God, but everyone is so obsessed with it!"

"What do you think about that?" Severus asked nervously "Would you potentially..."

Lily was grabbing a piece of pie to place in her plate when the worst happened. The three assholes Lily didn't want to see appeared in that second. And pushed Severus away.

"Move, Snivellus! Out of our way" Potter snapped.

"Honestly," Black added "They shouldn't allow you near the food. You're gonna leave grease all over it"

A bunch of people laughed around them. Pettigrew the loudest. Potter was grinning and Lily wanted to rip his smile off his face.

Severus looked furious but broken. Lily was sick and tired of people treating him badly.

"Would you fuck off and leave Severus alone?" Lily snapped..

The Marauders' eyes were on her.

"Evans" Potter's hand went to his stupid hair "Defending your new boyfriend, are you?"

Lily was fuming

"Well, there are rumors surrounding you two" Potter said, then turned to Severus "Tell me, Snivy, how did you manage to be the first one in our year to have a girlfriend?"

God, this was so embarrassing. Lots of students were paying attention now. Some older students were telling them to move forward. Black found the whole thing amusing. And the worst part was that he had admirers. Even Mary and Marlene were around.

"Jealous?" Severus said under his breath.

"Not that is any of your business Potter" Lily snapped "But Severus is not my boyfriend"

Potter raised a curious eyebrow "Is that so?"

"Yes!"

"If Snivellus is not your boyfriend then..."

"Don't call him that!"

"You wouldn't mind me asking you on a date"

Several witnesses gasped or started murmuring amongst themselves. Lily couldn't avoid but blushing.

"Come on, Evans. You can do better than Snivellus" Potter cleared his throat and rubbed his hair "Would you like to go out on a date with me? Or what?"

Lily noticed how everyone's eyes were on her, expecting her answer. She saw how Severus was furious and humiliated. She saw how Black and Pettigrew were amused and she remembered their words from the morning. The way Black had made fun of her and called her ugly. And she also noticed Mary. She was eyeing at James hopefully, wishing she was her he was asking out. She had talked about how he was the love of her life the whole weak anyway.

This was humiliating. Everyone thought she was a laughing matter. They all hated her at that stupid school. Maybe except Severus.

Lily wanted to cry. But with that reaction, Potter would win. And she would never give in. And be used for a stupid bet.

So Lily grabbed the plate of pie she was going to have for dessert and tossed it to James Potter's stupid face. And God! How good it felt!

Everyone gasped, then laughed.

"I wouldn't even date you even if we were the last people on earth, Potter!" Lily screamed "You are a freaking idiot! I hate you!"

With that, Lily ran away before tears threatened to appear. Before the knot was too strong and Lily couldn't take it anymore.

In the scene remaining, James Potter was a joke for everyone around. Even his best friends. Traitors.

He knew cream had gotten inside his nostrils and his glasses were covered on it so he took them off. All he could feel and smell was lemon and sugar.

"You have something on your face, Potter" James saw a ghost of a smile on Snivellus's disgusting face. The wanker was pleased as he ran after Evans. James hated that twat.

"Are you okay, James?" Macdonald seemed concerned while Marlene couldn't contain her laughter next to her.

James nodded, trying not to look offended.

"Good job at winning the bet" Sirius whispered mockingly on his ear.

It wasn't that James cared about winning the freaking bet. Something weird happened to him when he bumped into Evans at the beginning of term. He felt something with wings flying inside of him. Butterflies? And he thought he hadn't seen a girl more beautiful than her. That beautiful long red hair, those freckles, her green eyes, her lips, her breasts, everything. His heart even jumped inside his chest.

But James didn't want to sound sappy in front of his mates. He was embarrassed about what Evans was making him feel.

"It is not over, Sirius" he said to his best friend as he tried to wipe cream off his face "I don't take a no for an answer"

[waxingrunes]

I understand if you’re too busy to answer this or don’t want to, but i was wondering if you wouldn’t mind telling us some of your non-explicit headcanons or just some traits you think wolfstar have in general? Your explicit ones are sososo hot but today I'm feeling low and need some comforting. Yiur blog is just a safe space for me but I totally understand if not! I love your work <3 all my love x

There are so many nondescript hc’s I have that this has the potential to turn into a formal essay with cited sources, so I’ll go for more of a generalised dump of info I have for each in a hope that it lifts some of your fog Anon. Maybe bullet pointed because it’ll be easier to read than my usual untidy form of communication. Hope you feel lighter soon.

Sirius

• will lick a yoghurt pot if there’s no clean spoons. There’s the option to go for fruit instead, but he wants the yoghurt and by god he will get his yoghurt

• is a fucking terrible driver, gives Remus and any passenger white knuckles due to speed issues and not using a lower gear when taking corners

• is however, in complete control when on a motorcycle; very hot, very controlled and will take his passenger’s safety very seriously

• professionally trained in ballroom and ballet, the latter which he is sometimes mocked in jest for, even by Remus, until he one time caught him stretching elegantly on the floor one morning with his upper body laid flat between long, toned, wide spread legs, ‘morning moony’, a healthy blush on his cheeks

• private crier, doesn’t cry easily

• goes quiet when angry as an initial defence but it doesn’t take long for him to start dropping breadcrumbs of sarcastic comments; can also be snobby and bratty, perhaps sometimes will get nasty and direct (bringing up things he shouldn’t to score points in the heat of the moment)

• suffers immeasurable guilt (helped by the point above) but is always masking a weighted feeling of guilt no matter what he’s doing, so much so it’s manifested into quite a serious anxiety problem in the wrong crowds

• he fidgets a lot, not in a chaotic way, just always has to have his fingers busy with something

• likes the smell of gasoline

• once had to talk himself down from throwing a child in a dustbin

• loves the colour red; blood red and cherry red to be precise but secretly loves dark blue even more because it’s what looks most handsome on Remus despite him not wearing it often

• sighs a lot

• pretended he couldn’t speak English to get away with jumping a queue

• hates the smell and taste of liquorice (unless heavily strawberry/cherry/raspberry flavoured)

• on one particular messy night out he got so impatient waiting at the bar, he reached over and grabbed a discarded bottle of alcohol the server had left open and swigged it

• digs his nails into his skin when anxious and is often reminded to relax the tension in his joints

• stargazes often

• once linked his pinky finger with Remus and asked him to pinky promise not to tell anyone what he was about to tell him, since which a tradition of trust was born where Remus will offer his pinky or the last two fingers for Sirius to hold or squeeze when he’s feeling unsure in public, or in any situation where verbal reassurance isn’t appropriate

• gets a weird thrill at the sound of cork popping from a bottle

Remus

• collects beer mats and keeps them in a drawer, thinks about making them into a display

• got tired of kids playing ball against the wall of his place (after repeat offences and him asking very nicely for them to stop) one day so went out, retrieved the ball and threw it so hard against of the cars it set the alarm off

• owner of said car came running out the house and Remus blamed it on the children. Never had the same issue again

• has a wildly sweet tooth and will always drop one or two packets of sugar into any warm beverage

• stares into space and gets involuntarily caught on someone’s face one too many times which makes them uncomfortable from the ‘Death Stare’ phenomenon when in reality, he’s lost in lala land

• can cook, is actually a proficient cook, but will not cook for anyone but Sirius, James or Lily

• will crack his knuckles, wrists and neck absentmindedly, all of which makes his company squirm because it’s often very loud and ‘pop-py’ but Sirius fucking loves it

• stays very calm during an argument but can shout louder than most and when he does, ears ring from the silence that follows

• prefers tea over coffee

• will eat liquorice any time he wants to piss Sirius off

• cries more than Sirius, but still a private crier

• always has to be the old boot in Monopoly

• loves words that are vowel heavy or double voweled because those are the ones where the scraps of Sirius’ lost French accent surface the most

• has a gentle touch, is aware of his size and nature of his lycanthropy, therefore always somewhat reserved

• loves socks, has a collection of ‘dad socks’

• has the messiest writing out of all the Marauders but loves handwritten things, owns three very different fountain pens for very different purposes

• is polite, but as he’s aged doesn’t tend to ‘fake smile’ a lot, feeling no need to fill uncomfortable silences for the sake of others

• has a chair he favours and often dozes off in it. Most of the time waking up to Sirius on top of him

[theyrealllesbians]

Wedding Season- Chapter 2

James swung the front door open and called out. "Hello!"

Euphemia, his mum, came running from the kitchen. "Jamie, darling. It's so good to see you, it's been too long."

"Mum, it's literally only been a week. I also spoke to you on the phone on Wednesday." He laughed.

"Oh well that's far too long." Euphemia grabbed at his face and brought his forehead down to rest against hers momentarily before pulling back and kissing his cheek. James pretended to ignore the way that she had to go on her tip-toes to reach him, deciding to save the 'you'll always be my baby' lecture until it actually mattered. "Where are Sirius and Remus, I thought that they were coming with you?" She asked, turning towards the kitchen whilst wiping her hands on an apron James recognised from his childhood.

"They couldn't make it. They have some wedding stuff they desperately wanted to get done tonight. Booking vendors or cake tasting or flowers or something like that. Honestly, I can't remember." James had begun to tune Sirius out whenever he spoke about the wedding. It was a never ending rant about carnations and vanilla sponge, burlap or silk, fairy lights or lamps, martinis or an old fashioned and quite frankly, James could not listen to one more second. Besides, Sirius had a way of making every decision seem like a life or death situation. As a result, James would often than not end up getting yelled at when he chose the 'wrong' shade of white for the chairs. He loved Sirius more than anything, but in order to stay friends with him, James had made the executive decision to step back from all wedding decisions. Besides, Remus and the wedding planner told him everything he needed to know as part of being the best man. So he really wasn't missing much. It's not that he didn't expect Sirius to go full on bridezilla, because he did. It's just that he didn't quite realise how many little decisions went into planning a wedding. Since 'helping' Sirius and Remus, James has decided that when he gets married, it'll be a small affair. Probably in his parent's garden, with food that he and his mum cooked, flowers picked from his own garden and outfits that they'd both wear for anniversary dates time and time again. He wanted to be able to remember the love, not the little stressors that -at the time- would seem to derail the entire day.

"Oh, I remember those days. So exciting, but unbelievably stressful, be sure to send them my love. And I'll send you home with some bits and bobs to give them." By 'bits and bobs' James knew he'd be leaving with at least a months worth of food. He'd be playing tetris with his freezer tonight, he would never dare complain though, his mum's food was the best he'd ever tasted. Besides, he would never pass up the opportunity to not have to cook after a long day at work. Sirius and Remus would be endlessly grateful as well.

"I will do. Sirius is desperate to see you, so I'm sure he'll be here next week." James let his mum know.

"Oh well you know he doesn't have to wait till a Sunday to come see me. Even if he just wanted to pop in for lunch, I'd love to have him."

"I know, and he does as well. I think it's just slipped his mind because of how busy he is. I'll remind him though." Sirius had a habit of this, withdrawing whenever life got busy. He'd prioritise his work and keeping the house clean, often forgetting that he could also make time to decompress and see the people he loved. Luckily it only took James or Remus forcing him to leave his office for him to get back into a normal routine in which he wasn't being stretched unbelievably thin or being wound incredibly tight. James could never quite tell if it was some form of trauma response, or whether it was just the way that Sirius was wired. Either way, he's gotten better compared to when they were at school. During A-levels, James doesn't think Sirius left their dorm for anything other than food for at least 2 weeks. Despite the fact that at least 50% of the time, if someone checked on him, he wasn't actually doing any revision. James didn't really understand it. He pulled out his phone and added 'call Moony/ drag Pads out the house' onto his ever growing to do list.

"What can I help with?" James asked, rolling his sleeves up while walking over to the sink to start washing his hands.

"Oh, there's nothing really." His mum responded whilst opening the 5th can of what looked like crushed tomatoes. James looked around and spotted 3 pack of unopened whole chickens, a pile of uncut vegetables and several pots on the hob that were dangerously close to boiling over.

"Mum, stop lying. How about I break down the chicken?" He knew his mum didn't really like cutting the chicken. As she grew older, it just got harder and harder for her to break the bones and separate the breast from the thighs. He grabbed a knife and a chopping board from their respective drawers before she could even answer.

"Oh well, if you don't mind." His mum shrugged before turning round to face him and quickly rattling off a series of instructions. "Make sure you get as much meat of the bones as possible, I won't stand to see it wasted. But keep the bones in the thighs, you know it's your father's favourite bit. Oh, and don't throw away the wish bone. We can break it after dinner. Then I need the breast diced and adding to the pot at the back. The dark meat is going in a new pot. Everything else can get turned into stock. Oh, and be careful! Don't cut yourself!"

James huffed out a laugh, "I'm 26, I think I'll be fine."

"Oh, you never know. They're pesky little things, let me know if you need any help." James turned around to face the chopping board before rolling his eyes. Yes, he was 26, a full grown adult who was no longer living with his parents, but he would not be caught rolling his eyes at his mother. It was a death sentence.

"Will do. Anyways, how've you been?" James asked, unwrapping the first chicken.

"Oh, you know, same old, same old." His mum always said this right before delving into some local drama that was in fact not 'same old, same old'. "Your dad has been driving me mad asking what shade of red roses I want in the garden. And I just quite frankly, do not care. They will look lovely no matter what. Oh, but did I tell you about what happened with the Wilson's?" Here we go.

"No, I don't think you did. Are they the ones with the ginger cat?" James swears that cat should've died years ago. He remembers it from when he was a child. Remembers the way it would try and bite at his ankles any time he walked past.

"Yes, wretched thing. Anyways, apparently Richard tried to murder Margaret last week."

"What?!" James exclaimed, turning around to face his mum. She didn't move.

"Yeah, Judith got a call from him on, when was it, Tuesday I think. Or maybe Wednesday. And she came round and told me straight away. Apparently, Richard had gotten himself in a panic over the online banking as Margaret doesn't know any of the passwords and he tried to smother her with a pillow. The police came round and had to take both mine and your father's statements, even though your dad knew nothing of what was going on. They took him straight to a special care home and are talking about court dates. Bless them though, you never would have guessed it would you."

"No, I suppose not. He always seemed pretty decent. Always gave me the football back after I kicked it in their garden."

"Exactly, and that's what I said to the police. Never would think of him to even hurt a fly. I mean the amount of eggs I have borrowed from him, you'd think he'd want me dead. But no, he always said yes as long as I brought him round a slice of cake I baked, and you know I always did." James let his mother's voice carry him into a slower motion, letting his shoulders drop and jaw relax more than it had in the past week. Something about the smell of his parent's fabric softener and the spices slowly cooking drifted him into a dream like state. One where his own bones grew warm and his skin infinitely softer. He wished he could bottle this feeling and get drunk on it every night.

"James!" His mother yelled, smashing his peace into a thousand splintering pieces.

"What? What's happened?" He span around, eyes trailing over everything trying desperately to spot the danger.

"Nothing." He let out a sigh. "I was asking how you're week had been?"

"Oh, yeah it's been fine. Busy though. I've been working with this little girl, about 7, helping her walk again. She's making really good progress, but she's absolutely terrified. She had this pin through her foot diagonally, and her mum says she accidentally put her foot down quite a bit when she still had it in. Didn't hurt her much, but must've been a weird, uncomfortable sensation. I mean I got the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. But yeah, it's been really nice seeing her get excited about walking again. Beats having to convince all the 17 year old lads that they won't actually be 'just fine' if they play for their club on Saturday." It's not like he had favourites, but it was easy to say that those who would greet him with a hug and tell him all about their teddies made his day just that bit brighter. James truly loved his job, he had to. If he didn't love it, he wouldn't be able to do it. He never intended to be a paediatric physiotherapist, he always wanted to go into rugby professionally. Ironically, it was Lily who was able to talk him into reconsidering his options, albeit not in the most conventional ways. She had said that he was 'too clever to let his brain get all mangled up, and that he was too much of a good person to let himself pick such a selfish career path filled with egotistical twats'. After a while, he did realise that he wanted to have a secure career and feel like he was making a difference in the world. He couldn't give up sport entirely though. So, during the week, he works for the NHS and in the evenings and at select weekends, he's the physio for the local rugby club. Seeing some of the injuries those players got helped him gain confidence in his decision very quickly.

"That's lovely, darling. Horrible thing for such a young child to go through, but I'm happy she's got the best helping her." His mum winked at him as she said that.

"I mean, it's not as bad as it sounds. She had corrective surgery, but it's meant that she hasn't been able to walk in around 9 months. So I reckon it'll take a while, but she's sweet and her parents are lovely, so I'm happy to spend as long as it takes helping."

"I'm sure that you are, love. You have always been so keen to help others. It is one of your better qualities." His mum grinned at him, suppressing a laugh.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked, adding the chicken to each respective pot.

"We both remember how many phone calls I used to get from Minnie?" His mum says Minnie as, to James and Sirius's horror, she'd ended up becoming quite good friends with McGonagall. In fact, they try to meet up every month for tea and a catch up since they've all finished school.

"That's so not fair. I'm an adult now. I've grown up." James drew out the last syllable, quickly defeating his own argument by sounding like a whiny toddler.

"Yes, yes, of course you have, babu." His mum smiled at him again as she continued to tend to the food cooking. "Did you get the invite for Priya's wedding?" Priya was James's cousin on his mum's side. He actually quite liked her when they were growing up. She was only a year older than him so they formed a little alliance along with his other cousins of a similar age.

"Yeah, yeah I did. I think I got it a couple months ago." James had added it to the shrine of wedding invites adorning his fridge. "Yeah, it's at the end of August right?"

"The 31st, yes. Remember, a lot of family that we haven't seen in ages is flying over, so you better be on your best behaviour." His mum fixed him with a firm stare.

"Again, I am 26." He knew this would have little to no effect on his mum's conviction that somehow he'd become the family laughing stock in one singular evening.

"Okay. Still, make sure that you are letting everyone see how happy and successful you are. You know that I only want you to be happy, but my sisters aren't as forward thinking as me so be sure to mention that you are top of your field."

"Well that's a lie." James replied outright, furrowing his brows in confusion whilst laughing to himself. He'd only been in the field for 3 years, so he wasn't sure what his mum was on about.

"You've got the best reviews in your hospital." His mum replied matter-of-factly, as if they were at all comparable.

"Okay, yes, sure. I'll be sure to tell them about my career so that you can have bragging rights." He chuckled as he said this.

"James! Take this seriously!" His mum started waving the spoon she had in her hand in his direction. James was forced to take a step back to save his freshly ironed shirt from being stained.

"Yes, James, take it seriously!" His father added, walking into the kitchen while shaking his finger in a comedic manner. "You know how important it is for your mother to brag to others about our family. You can't let her down by underselling your achievements." His dad had a cheeky smile dancing across his lips showing that he didn't take it seriously either, but Fleamont Potter would never be caught, even in death, not having his wife's back.

"Oh, if you can, be sure to mention that Remus has just opened his own business and that Sirius wrote and directed the christmas nativity!"

"Will do." James and his dad reply in unison.

"Oh, and James? Are you bringing a date?" silver eyes flashed through James's mind, "I only ask because everyone has been asking me if you've met anyone!"

"I wasn't planning on it." James shrugged, trying his best to act nonchalant.

"You might want to rethink that kid. You know how your mother's family can be once they sense a bit of drama." James shuddered a little at the thought of answering a hundred questions about his love life after he'd drank a couple glasses of wine.

"Oh, come off it. My family is not like that. They all just care about James's happiness, that's all. Don't make it out to be something cruel." His mum sniped back. His dad only looked at James again, a long pointed look.

"I'll think about it." James said. Surely it wouldn't be too hard to find a date, if only for a couple weddings.

"Oh! Does that mean you already have someone in mind?" His mum swung her head round so she could look at James. Walking forward to grip his forearms.

"Mum!" He exclaimed, "I just said that I would think about it!" The feeling of fluffy black hair beneath his fingertips shot down his spine.

"Oh! You're blushing! There is someone!" His mum was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Mum…" James groaned, hanging his head.

"Euphie, leave him alone. If the boy says there's no one, there's no one. We have to believe what he tells us, otherwise we'll go insane." His dad placed a hand on his mum's shoulder and steered her away from James.

"Thanks. I guess?" James smiled at his dad. His dad simply grinned and winked right back. Great, so his dad did not believe what he was saying either, and his mum was clearly already planning his wedding.

Brilliant.

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

Me coming to ask you about all the different ways Sirius and Remus would sneak into each other’s beds

Omggggggg!!!! They’d be so sneaky and then they’d get sloppier until they’d literally just crawl into each other’s beds.

It would definitely start with Sirius falling asleep on Remus in the common room so he’d stay still until either he fell asleep too or Sirius woke up and you’d definitely find them slouched together on the sofa so many times.

Then Sirius just thinks he sleeps better around Remus so he’d ask Remus to sit by his bed and talk until he falls asleep but that doesn’t work. He doesn’t realise that he needs Remus next to him.

And then this evolves into soft idiots in love who just don’t know it and can’t explain why they can’t just get into each other’s beds without an explanation so they start studying together late so everyone is asleep and Sirius has an excuse when he climbs into Remus’ bed and pretends to be sound asleep and wakes up to Remus next to him.

Then Remus starts helping Sirius tidy up after quidditch practice - convincing James that this is to help his shot with lily and reg and he has to go right now! And you’d find them dawdling around, checking for no missing bats or bludgers so when they get back to the dorm and Sirius is back from a shower, Remus is asleep in Sirius’ bed and they wake up next to each other.

Then they get busy with exams and Remus is uptight and Sirius cannot handle it so he just physically manhandles Remus into bed and lies on top of him as dead weight to absolutely make sure that he sleeps soundly and doesn’t work too hard.

[cassiaratheslytherpuff]

Drarry Podfic Reclist - Length 10+ hours

A list of podfics I've enjoyed. Sorted first by length, then alphabetically.

This is the list with podfics that are 10+ hours long. I also have lists for Length 1-3 hours, Length 3-6 hours and Length 6-10 hours or you can check out the masterlist.

10-15 hours

Title: All Life is Yours to Miss Read by: originally reads Authour: Saras_Girl Length:~ 11h Rating: Mature Summary: Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go. This one always makes me smile. It's very focused on Draco, and his journey to figuring out how to really live his life instead of just excist in it. Beautiful story that's beautifully read in a soothing voice.

Title: Away Childish Things Read by: RattleandHum (ThirdEye1234) Authour: lettered Length:~ 14h Rating: Teen and Up Summary: Harry gets de-aged. Malfoy has to help him. Beautiful fic read so wonderfully it made me ache with all the feels.

Title: Kaleidoscope Read by: Melcarrianna Authour: Saras_Girl Length:~ 13h Rating: Explicit Summary: If Harry’s honest, the last thing he needs is a house full of Draco Malfoy, but partners are partners, and perhaps, the thing he wants the least will turn out to be absolutely everything. 2021 advent fic, Recorded for 2022. I love that we're combining two of my favourite things here, Ryu's amazing advent-fic's and Melcarrianna's brilliant voice. This one will play on repeat every December.

Title: Temptation on the Warfront Read by: Sandstripe Authour: alizarincrims0n Length:~ 14h Rating: Explicit Summary: Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes.

Title: What We Pretend We Can't See Read by: FayJay Authour: Gyzym Length:~ 13h Rating: Mature/Explicit Summary: Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought. (Auror Potter is summoned to a break-in at a rather eccentric little museum in the house he used to own.) This is one of those fics where I can finish listening and just start it over again immediatly. It's got magical houses, house elf magic, friendships, humour, and I absolutely love how Draco and Harry are both written in this. FayJay gives amazing life to the charachters, and this one is just so wonderful.

Title: When Times are Dire Read by: aibidil Authour: aibidil Length:~ 14h Rating: Explicit Summary: Magical Britain is screwed, and it's once again up to Harry to save it. This time, by marrying Draco Malfoy. This fic is so interesting. It's fake relationship but done differently to anything else I've read. It's political in a way that rings true for so much that's going on in the world and it was lovely to see the characters I love fight for things I believe in!

15+ hours

Title: All Our Secrets Laid Bare Read by: Melcarrianna Authour: Firethesound Length:~ 18h Rating: Explicit Summary: Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his latest partner to investigate just what is going on. This one is perfect for when my brain won't slow down and be quiet. It's a lovely and interesting story and it's read it in a way that's both soothing and engaging all at once.

Title: Always Already Read by: aibidil Authour: aibidil Length:~ 20h Rating: Explicit Summary: Harry and Draco are perfectly fine, separately minding their business in 2004, when the Unspeakables conscript them into service... in the First War against Voldemort. Come for mutual pining and forced proximity in a 1980 hotel room, stay for young Sirius and philosophising about immortality and wormholes. And an eighties cowboy soap opera. This one is just excellent. I love how the time-travel is done and how alive the characters felt to me both because of the writing and the reading. The podfic has sound-effects from the 80s and it's just so good. I've listened to this several times since it came out a year and a half ago.

Title: Blood Magic Read by: houseofhebrideanblacks, Thestralsofspinnersend Authours: houseofhebrideanblacks, Thestralsofspinnersend Length:~ 33h Rating: Explicit Summary: A story of thestral magic, forest lore and recovery from all the things that haunt us. This is a beautiful story of recovery, friendship, love and life. And in being a story about that it exlpores the darker sides of those same themes; illness, loneliness and death. The authours read the story themselves, giving different voices to Draco and Harry's POV. It's a beautiful listen.

Title: Foundations'Verse - Reparations, Foundations Read by: 6shotsamericano Authour: Saras_Girl Length:~10h + 27.5h Rating: Explicit Summary: Reparations: Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places. Foundations: When one door closes, another one opens – with a bit of a push. Life, love and complications. This verse was one of my first ever Drarry fics, and the podfic of it was my first ever podfic experience. Both were major influences on the fact that I now love both Drarry and podfic. The fics are a masterpiece and 6shotsamericano reads them in such a wonderfull way that it's easy to immerse yourself in the story.

Title: Secrets Read by: Opalsong Authour: Vorabiza (Biza) Length:~ 44hRating: ExplicitSummary: Beginning with Draco's unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry's summer becomes filled with activity and many secrets. He generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side. H/D post-HBP This story is an intense alternate book 7, and Opalsong reads it so engagingly. 

Title: The Man Who Lived Read by: RattleandHum Authour: SebastianL Length:~ 25h Rating: Explicit Summary: Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another. A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee. Set in New York twelve years after the war. This is wonderful, slow-burning, heartbreaking and sweet. RattleandHum has a beautiful voice that really bring the fic and emotions to life.

Title: Turn Read by: Queenie_Mab Authour: Saras_Girl Length:~ 37h Rating: Mature Summary: One good turn always deserves another. Apparently. This story is a classic, and the reading of it fully lives up to the quality of the written fic; absolutely wonderfull! Another one I've listened to more times than I can count.

Bonus (podfics on my tbr):

10-15 hours Criminal read by Melcarrianna written by The_Sinking_Ship 10.5h Dwelling on Dreams written by The_Sinking_Ship read by reveriepi 13h Way Down We Go written by xiaq read by Cailynwrites 13h

15+ hours All I Want For Christmas (Is For You To Stop Talking) written by Femme (femmequixotic) & noeon (noe). Read by acari, almost_april, Ang3_N, CelilasPodfics (LLAP115), dagnydecided, EvAEleanor, Flamelikefire, jc647, lastontheboat, LauDH8, MaesterChill, Melcarrianna, millennialgrandma, PhenomenalAsterisk, Podfic by (Thunder_of_Dragons), read by (bluedreaming), Rhyebony, roseszain multivoices (roseszain), SassySaori, somberraven, sweaters_in_the_summer, TheseLittleWonders, wianwriting 16.5h Evitative written by Vichan read by SaySoul 25h The Man Who Forgot written by SlightWeasel read by sweaters_in_the_summer 22h

[rose-pearls]

The Deal - Part 2

Summary: the plan is set into motion but somethings could hinder the plan.

Previous Part - Next Part

James knew one thing the moment he went on the Hogwarts express, this year Lily was going to be his. He wasn’t sure how but somehow, he would try to find a way to convince her, he doesn’t know how it came to involve you.

The two of you had a few classes together through the years but he hadn’t really paid attention to you. He also knew you because of his parents and the long evenings spend at balls with other children. The two of you sometimes played together but you had always been a quiet child once you were with your parents, nearly a perfect girl. The years went by, and his parents stopped going to these balls with the rise of you-know-who.

Now he was seeing her for the first time again, she had lost that baby fat and had those sparkling eyes that had always been wide with curiosity when they played as children.  She had a doubtful but determined look in her eyes and he couldn’t help but smile at her furrowed eyebrows. 

“So, how are we doing this?”, he asks, slightly excited at the prospect of maybe having found the perfect way to get Lily to be his.

“Let’s not talk about it here and not right now I have a prefect meeting.”, James groans and the girl in front of him rolls her eyes. 

“Alright, but five minutes Potter.”, James grins and brings her into an empty compartment that seems to have been left by students to join some of their friends.

“We can’t just start dating out of nowhere, that would seem strange.”, she says and James nods quickly, she is right they need to do it the right way if they want it to work.

“Well, you told me to come with you when we were with Remus and Lily so we could start with that. Say that we talked and rekindled our friendship from when we were children.”, he says with a large grin, and she looks at him with calculating eyes.

“That could work, we just need to keep seeing each other at Hogwarts and after a month or so we pretend to go on a date and launch the operation.”, she exclaims like she has found the solution to a problem and James can’t help but nod excitedly.

“We could sit next to each other in a class, what classes are you taking?”, he asks, and she starts to think.

“Charms, Transfiguration, Defense against the dark arts and Care of Magical Creatures.”, she lists off and James nods.

“I have most of those to, we just need to see if we have one of them together and then sit next to each other to make it work better.”, they both nod at his words and start to think a bit more.

“We’ll work out the details later for the moment we just need to make the others think that we are getting closer and then start the plan.”, she says and James nods quickly trying to think of how he will try and make this work, deep down he knows he will need the help of the Marauders.

“Let’s get this show on the road sugar plum.”, she shoots him a glare and James can’t help the cheeky smile that appears.

“Never call me that again, Jamie bear.”, James snorts at her words and she quickly starts laughing to, the two of them giggling like idiots before a knock can be heard on the door.

“Are you ready to go to the meeting or are you to busy flirting with Potter?”, Snape asks while saying his name with disgust. She looks at the Slytherin prefect before looking back at him and giving him a small smile.

“See you later James.”, he smiles back and sits back down as she leaves the compartment, feeling weird at hearing her call him by his name after all those years.

“Prongs! There you are, we have been searching everywhere!”, Sirius says while taking his arm and leading him back to their compartment while chatting away about his altercation with Bellatrix.

He tries to listen to Sirius, but he can’t help but think back to their plan and how they were going to do it. He was going to have to convince your parents and you would have to convince all of Hogwarts that the two of you are together, this was going to be a challenge. 

--

“You did what?!”, Remus says rather loudly and a couple of first years turn to look at them while Sirius is trying not to fall from laughing after he told them about your plan.

“We made a deal, we fake date each other until after Christmas to make Lily jealous and so that her parents leave her alone.”, James says slightly annoyed to have to repeat himself.

“That is just crazy Prongs, so many things could go wrong.”, Remus says, and James prepares himself for a lecture from the prefect.

“I want to be there when she introduces you to her parents, they are going to go mad. A Gryffindor and a Potter.”, Sirius starts laughing again and James glares at his best friend before throwing a pillow at his face.

“Will you shut it.”, Sirius snorts and slowly stops laughing but a few giggles still leave his lips.

“As I was saying a lot of things could go wrong.”, Remus says seriously and James sighs before looking at his friends.

“I know, but we will be careful alright. Just let me try this and then if it doesn’t work at least, I know I did everything I could to try and get Lily.”, he says softly and a silence follows his words, even Sirius seems to have sobered up at his words.

“What do you mean?”, Peter asks quietly and James sighs, rubbing his eyes.

“I mean that I tried everything to prove to her that I’m not just a jerk or a selfish asshole, but she still seems set in her ideas. So, I try this and if it doesn’t work well then that is it.”, he whispers and before he knows it a pair of arms take him into Sirius’s arms.

“She doesn’t know what she is missing Jamie.”, he whispers and James hugs him back just as strongly before feeling the other two marauders join the embrace.

“We’ll help you, were in this together.”, he hears Remus whisper and the other nod their heads at his words.

“One for all.”, he whispers with a smile.

“All for one.”, the others whisper back, and James can’t help but feel better at their words.

--

“Well, well, well if it isn’t my favorite bunch of Hufflepuff’s!”, Sirius exclaims loudly in the corridor, and everyone turns around to see what is happening. Christie groans as she sees them, but Susan and you laugh at their arrival. 

“Can’t we have one moment of peace?”, Christie whispers under her breath and Sirius laughs.

“Now where is the fun in that?!”, he says before starting to talk with them about a rumor that he heard running around.

James takes the opportunity to sit next to you in the alcove that is right in front of the door of the class and smiles down at you.

“So how was the first night back?”, he asks quietly, and you smile at him before sighing happily.

“Like coming home.”, James can relate to that feeling, he loves his parents with all his heart, but Hogwarts was just, home.

“What about you?”, you ask and James sighs dramatically.

“We started planning our future pranks and I’m trying to find a new Quidditch tactic.”, he says mysteriously while you look at him with curious eyes.

“Hopefully these pranks don’t involve Hufflepuff.”, you say with a teasing smile and James laughs softly.

“That is secret information unfortunately, can’t tell you.”, you nod seriously, and James can’t help but smile.

“Not even as your future girlfriend?”, you whisper back mischievously and James laughs at your words.

“In that case, maybe I can tell you.”, the two of them laugh for a bit and James feels at ease for once.

“So, tell me about that quidditch tactic.”, you say, and James can’t help but look at you surprised.

“You want to hear about that?”, he can’t help but blurt out.

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s something you like, right?”, you say like it’s the most logical thing in the world and James can’t help but think of how you would be a perfect girlfriend if he wasn’t so deeply in love with Lily.

He shakes the thoughts out of his head and starts telling you about the tactic, answering your questions and before they know it McGonagall is opening the door to get into class.

“Lily was watching you the whole time.”, Sirius whispers as they enter the classroom with a cheeky grin and James can’t help but smile, his plan is working, and it isn’t even the whole plan.

“You will receive places for the rest of the year, don’t expect to be next to your friends you will be next to someone of another house.”, most of the class groans but James smiles at the professor’s words.

“Sirius Black and Susan Collin.”, Sirius shrugs his shoulders and goes to the desk, but James sees a light blush on Susan’s cheeks at the professor’s words and he tells himself to ask you later.

“James Potter and Y/N Y/L/N.”, he smiles at her words and goes to the desk, finding you there with a small smile.

“Hello there partner.”, he says happily and enjoys the sight of your smile.

“Lily Evans and Amos Diggory.”, James can’t help but look back towards the front of the class at the professor’s words.

“James is everything alright?”, he hears you whisper, and James shakes his head a bit.

“What is it.”, he doesn’t know how to answer your question, he just feels jealous and scared at the sight of Lily’s partner.

“Amos has feelings for Lily, he will probably try to get with her.”, he hears Sirius whisper, and he tries to look back towards you as you start talking with Sirius about the situation while Susan is talking to someone else. But he can’t stop looking at Amos flirting with Lily and feeling like he is losing her already.

“Hey, we are going to get her with you. Remember the plan.”, he hears you whisper, and he suddenly wakes up from his stupor to look at you with worried eyes.

“You think it’s going to work?”, he asks in a small voice while trying to ignore your worried eyes.

“There is only one way to know.”, you say and James nods at your words before looking back towards Lily feeling determined.

“Let’s do this.”

Thank you for the love on this story and hopefully you like it! If you have some ideas for it you can always tell me :))

[georgie-weasley]

Deep Wounds: Chapter 1.5

Warnings: A wee bit of self loathing from Remus, mentions of scars

Word Count: 1.1k

Pairing: eventual Remus x fem!healer!reader

A/N: So it has been a while since I posted anything about this series so to refresh, there will be smaller chapters like this one in-between each of the longer chapters. The smaller chapters generally won't focus on the reader and mostly Remus instead. As of now I'm still tagging everyone that's on my Remus taglist but if people want I'll make a separate one just for the series

Series Masterlist Taglist

Remus laid on the couch, his arm covering his eyes. He could hear his friends whispering about him only a few feet away. They often talked about him and his condition in hushed tones like it was some sort of secret but there was no point. Remus knew what kind of monster he was; they didn’t need to pretend he didn’t. “Can you stop pretending I’m not here and speak at a higher volume so I can decipher what you’re saying?”

The whispering stopped at once. Remus peaked out from behind his arm to see the group of four moving from the doorway to surround him in the living room. Sirius lifted Remus’s legs and sat down, resting the werewolf’s feet on his lap. James and Peter sat on the floor while Lily stood behind the couch and busied herself looking at the new scars forming on Remus.

“Want to fill me in on your secrets?” Remus whispered, moving his arm so Lily could look at his face. Since she found out about his monthly issue, she had taken on a sort of motherly role. She was always checking on him and trying to feed him and do her best to help heal him but that was never her strongest magic. But it was nice to have her care so much for him even if he didn’t want to bother her.

“James was just filling us in on your trip to St. Mungos.” Sirius let the silence hang after he answered. Remus kept his eyes closed but he could feel everyone looking at him. When no one else spoke, Sirius continued. “Are you really going to let some random girl help you find a cure?”

Remus sighed and sat up with a groan, causing Lily to rush into the kitchen to grab some ice. “No, I’m not. I had no choice though since James wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That’s going to be awkward.” Lily handed Remus the ice before she took a seat next to him on the couch. “James said she’s coming over here after her shift.”

Remus put the ice on his right shoulder, sinking into the couch. “When she gets here I’ll tell her that I changed my mind and she can leave. I don’t need her help. I have you guys and that’s all I need. There’s no reason for some random girl to give me pity and spend her time and my time making a cure that won’t work.”

“Why not?” Peter spoke up from the floor. “She wants to help so why not let her.”

“I don’t know her Wormtail. I don’t know a single thing about her besides the fact that she seems to think she can help me. She could be doing this because she has pity or because she thinks this will get her points in the medical field.” Remus felt like he was making fair points but the look on James’s face told him it wasn’t enough.

“Moons, I think we all know why you don’t want to accept help.” Remus watched James and shook his head. “I think you’re scared to be let down.”

Remus quickly stood, ignoring the way his body screamed in protest from the quick movements. He didn’t want to sit around and hear James’s ridiculous ideas. James may be one of his best friends but he didn’t know a single thing about this life that he was forced to have. He needed a walk, he needed air, he needed to get away from everyone for just a minute. It’s only been a few hours since he was out of control of his body and attacked by a hippogriff and forced to go to the hospital where a healer refused to take care of him because of what he is. Not to mention a random healer decided to wedge her way into his life to try and help him for whatever reason. He needed a nap.

Remus headed out to the small backyard and collapsed onto a plastic chair. He closed his eyes and felt like maybe he could relax for a few minutes before the door slid open and Lily walked out. Remus grew close to Lily during their last few years at Hogwarts and he was beyond thrilled that she joined the little group of misfits they had. She had a bond with Remus that none of the boys could ever come close to replicating. He loved his friends and he was closer to them than anyone else in the world but his bond with Lily was special. He thought that their relationship would be one like he could have had with a sister.

She pulled another chair over and sat next to Remus, handing him the ice pack that had fallen when he stormed off. “I suppose you’re here to convince me to go through with this.”

Lily sighed and shrugged. “Not really. I think you should give it a shot but you’re right. You don’t know her and while it seems nice that she wants to help, you don’t know why she would. James was just excited to know there was someone else that wanted to help.”

She carefully rested a hand on his arm. “We all just want you to be happy and to have a good life that you deserve. Everyone is just excited at the idea that maybe this healer could be the one to help that.” Lily glanced at a new scar on his arm. “And if she’s as good at potion making as she is at healing, then I think she really could help.”

Remus looked at his arm. He had plenty of scars all over his body but the one on his arm that you had fixed earlier that morning was harder to see than the others. In fact some of them you did such a good job that there was hardly any evidence he had been hurt there in the first place. You had done a better job than anyone else ever had so maybe that did bode well for a cure.

“Give her one month, just one chance to figure this out and if it seems to go well or you think she isn’t weird, then it can’t hurt to keep trying. It really can’t hurt to give her a shot.”

“Fine but just one month.” Lily smiled and left Remus alone with his thoughts as she went back inside. He would agree to one month of help but Lily was wrong. This could end up hurting so many people. Remus had been hurt by strangers and friends but nothing hurt more than getting his hopes up only to have reality come crashing down on him and continuing to be a monster. This could hurt a lot.

Taglist

@100gaysnails @weasleybuns @s1aaaaayyyyyyyt @steelthistle @asuperconfusedgirl @jsjcue @Andy200700 @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @daisydark @creepybloodykitty2 @avatheveela @themarauderswife7 @Mintyme101

[mundrakan]

Problem

Dear Mutuals. I have this one scene (under the cut). Can anyone tell me what to do with it? I am clueless, helpless, hopeless. It's... well, at least I hope it's good, but... I can't explain where to get there and how to get out again...

Also: kind of a little gift for @metalomagnetic

When Sirius walked through the door, Tom could tell he was in pain, even though the boy didn't show much, compared to most people. But Tom, like him, was used to hiding it that he saw all the small signs, the shoulders too drawn back to be comfortable, the overly precise movements and the way he looked straight ahead as if meeting someone's eyes would make him break.

Tom frowned. Jealous rage was not exactly the reaction someone should have, when another person came for their help after being cursed, much less if it was a student one was supposed to protect, but given the fact that this was Sirius Black and therefore literally the only reason the current 7th-years were even worth teaching them, Tom felt justified. “Who did this?” he asked, even before Sirius could explain why he was here.

With only the smallest sigh of relief Sirius sat down in the chair opposite his desk and shrugged, ignoring the fact that he had not been invited in the first place. “How would I know? The bastard hexed me in the back. Had Slytherin robes, though.” Despite the pain he looked cheeky, with hard, challenging eyes. “For all I know you could have orchestrated it. Hell, could have been it.”

He was not wrong, Tom had a thin enough built that he could still pass as student, if he tried, and he was not above making someone hex Sirius if only it brought him here. Which only made it more annoying that he hadn't. That someone else dared touch something he defined his, if not openly. “Why did you come then?”

“Are you kidding?” Sirius sat up straight-backed like the good pure-blood child he was. “I'm not exactly friends with the other Heads of House either, and they will come looking, when I hex the Slytherins back, once they know I have an open tab with them.”

“And I won't?” Tom chuckled, the amusement slowly replacing the rage.

“Nah.” Sirius waved it off. “You'd pretend, if someone caught wind, but that's it.” His eyes scoured the room, taking in all the little details with great care, as he was very clearly gathering ammunition.

Tom didn't begrudge it. Most Gryffindors were... stupidly good. Sirius had never even touched that terrain. He always stood with one leg firmly in Slytherin territory, keeping an eye on his enemies and even watching his friends. He knew better than not to. “So, are you going to help me or not?”

Tom left his seat, strode around the desk slowly and then turned the chair, so he could face Sirius directly. “Oh, I am.”

“At what price?” Now his face was under the same scrutiny as his room had been.

“I am a teacher, I am supposed to...”

“You are a Slytherin, and you will ask for a price.” Sirius knew him too well for comfort, and with anyone else he would have taken... measures. But he liked it, how the boy slowly spiralled along the edge of his attraction, being pulled in bit by bit by bit. It would have been a pity to destroy that.

“How about a kiss?”

Tom took solace in the fact that Sirius was close to his coming of age. This kind of dubious look just didn't belong to a child. “I haven't kissed, and I won't kiss you.”

“So...” Tom pushed down the new waves of jealousy threatening to overwhelm common sense. “How'll get the honour? What disappointing wench or irrelevant guy will have your first kiss then?” Instead of him, who deserved it, who would value it accordingly.

Sirius lips ticked into a smile, but it dissolved into a grimace right away, as he was reminded of his pains. “None of your business. So... are we done?”

“What about this?” Tom wasn't so fast to give up. “For once you come visit me when you don't need my help.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow? Office hours?”

Sirius hissed, but caught himself again fast. “Not scared that your dear Slytherins will figure out your little scheme of wooing a Gryffindor?” It was scary how much he understood with how little context.

“No. If things go my way – and they will – they'll congratulate me on my cunning.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “If you say so. But okay. Tomorrow.”

Tom leaned in, whispering into his ear, so his breath hit the lobe. “I take your word for it.” Then he waved his wand and removed all curses and hexes present on Sirius with just one wave of his wand. “There you go.”

Sirius didn't bother to thank him, when instead he could pay up. He turned the chair just enough so he could get past Tom's arms, as he stood up. “I see you tomorrow then.”

What should have been an icy shower, made Tom almost giddy with anticipation.

[thisantithesis]

pt 2 of what i have now dubbed the library au. 817 words (pt 1)

Regulus pretended the soft reverence in James’ voice didn’t still affect him after all this time and forced his expression into one of confusion. “Yes?”

“Your hair…” he whispered, and that was enough to make Regulus shut down whatever James was going to say next.

“I asked what you’re doing here.”

That seemed to make James remember himself, closing his mouth with a loud clack of teeth on teeth and an embarrassed scratch to the back of his neck, something he always used to do back—well. Back then. James paused for a second before answering, “Walking?”

Regulus tipped his eyes skyward, hoping for some sort of divine intervention that would save him from having to deal with this conversation. “Yes, thank you, genius. I meant what are you doing here. At the library. You know I work here.”

James frowned a little at that, a dimple in his cheek forming just as Regulus remembered. “Well, technically I don’t.”

It was Regulus’ turn to be confused. “What?”

James’ embarrassment seemed to fade in an instant, a look of trepidation replacing it instead. “It’s been a year and a half since I—since we saw you, Regulus. For all we know you could’ve fucked off to a completely different school. I didn’t know you’d be here. Trust me, I wouldn’t be here if I did,” he said the last part under his breath, but Regulus heard it all the same.

An unexpected flair of hurt ricocheted inside his chest, which only made his resolve harden. “All right, well. How did you find this place then?”

James shrugged, “Like you find any place. By looking.” And almost like he could read exactly what Regulus was thinking, a wry smile formed on his face before saying “Don’t worry, I won’t come back here. Clearly this is your spot, and I wouldn’t want to taint that for you.”

Regulus had never known James to be mean. He could be snappy at times, yes, and was only stern with people when they deserved it, but he was never vicious. Nasty. Petty. Those words and James as a whole just didn’t mix. So when Regulus detected a hint of that vicious poison in James’ tone, whatever olive branch he was thinking of offering burnt to a crisp in his hands.

If that was how it was going to be, then two could play that game.

“Frankly Potter, I could care less where you go or don’t go. I left for a reason, yeah? So you can fuck off back to wherever it is you just came from and we can call this conversation quits. No need to put ourselves through more misery than we need to.”

James scoffed and looked to the ground, shaking his head with a smile of disbelief. “Still haven’t changed one fucking bit I see,” he looked back up, straight into Regulus’ eyes. “Alright then Black, have a good night and see you again fucking never. Glad that we could have this conversation.” He saluted Regulus with two fingers to his temple, then promptly turned around and walked back out the same way he walked in.

Regulus was left standing there with his heart beating out of his chest and that same hurt still pinballing around his ribs. He’d never seen James get that vicious, nor been on the receiving end of one of his mean bouts. He’d always been nice to Regulus, spending time with him when Sirius was busy or asking him questions about whatever book he was reading at the time.

He’d liked James, even to the point of developing a crush on him, but that had been cut short when everything went to shit on his 21st birthday. He found it funny how he was supposed to be celebrated that night, but instead found himself ostracized from his friends and lost the only part of his family he’d ever actually loved.

It was his own fault, in a way, but he couldn’t help how he still held onto this grudge of bitterness and anger towards the whole situation, and especially the people involved.

But they had their own lives now and so did he, with new friends and new goals—goals that brought him far, far away from this town. He shook himself and shoved his hands in his pockets, only then registering the cold that seeped into his skin.

Regulus looked around himself, the snow now falling in thicker flakes and the darkness of the evening creeping closer around him. Bad memories fresh at the surface, the first snowfall didn’t seem so magical anymore.

He scowled at his own thoughts and stomped out of the clearing, resolutely deciding that he was going to go back to his apartment and bury himself in his studies. Didn’t have a chance to think about things he didn’t want to if he crammed his head full of chemical formulas.

[sweeethinny]

PLS I REALLY NEED sirius x hestia being a cute couple in hogwarts. him calling her doll🥺🩷

hi honey, thank you so much, i really missed write about them <3

----

''Ew, Prongs won't stop kissing Red,'' Sirius said, helping himself to more pumpkin juice and some bagels and butter, feeling hungrier than usual but trying to keep his composure so no one would notice that something was wrong. 

''Stop being jealous,'' Marlene snapped, eating a piece of cake. "It's their anniversary, you know how they are with dates and all that nonsense." She shrugged, rolling her eyes when Sirius stifled a chuckle.

James, who had been too busy with Lily's mouth before to tell him to fuck off, held up his middle finger and smiled at his best friend, lips slightly reddened. Lily, for her part, just ignored Sirius' existence and helped herself to tea and pumpkin rolls with white cheese and tomatoes, as if nothing had happened in the last five minutes.

''So you're not going with me to see Khalid goes through trying to ask Julian out, are you?'' He'd been waiting all week for this, heard rumors that Khalid had even bought new robes to talk to the girl— who was known for always saying no in the most humiliating ways you could even imagine. Sirius had convinced Remus to go with him, Peter would be in class when that horror show took place, but James was free, he knew that because they had the same schedule.

''No, I have more important things to do.'' His friend shrugged, and by that, Sirius understood that they were forbidden to go up to the dorm during that time. Great, now on top of that, he couldn't even go back to his own room.

Granted, they knew great noise suppression and privacy spells, but it still felt strange to think of James and Lily doing who knows what next to him while he was just reading a magazine about muggle motorbikes.

''Sirius, don't you have anything better to do than snoop around in people's lives?'' Marlene questioned him, and Sirius thought he could tell that he indeed had more important things, but for that, he needed a second someone who would be in a very boring herbology class that he didn't take, and that she didn't want to miss. What was he going to do?

‘’Where were you last night, by the way? I looked everywhere for you but you disappeared,'' Remus, who was quite willing to eat as much as he could – he always got hungry when the full moon was approaching – asked him curiously, sticking a piece of croissant in his mouth in an unpolite manner, which only a wolf's instincts would make him do.

''Walking,'' Sirius shrugged. ''I went to send my letters and also talk to McGonagall about the last assignment I turned in,'' He did indeed, but not only that, but the next two hours after these two tasks he was willing to keep to himself and only share with friends after his companion has agreed to speak. He didn't think Hestia hadn't already blurted out to Lily or Marlene where she went every night, but he wasn't going to speak before her.

Not that he minded, frankly, he'd wear a collar with her name on it like an obedient dog, but Sirius was respecting her time.

''Hm, I see,'' Lily looked at him suspiciously, for the first time that morning. ''Oh, good morning Hes.''

Sirius tried to keep his head from spinning like an animal looking for his toy, and he did well in the mission, just smiling at her like an old friend, and not someone who every night hugged the pillow thinking it was her warm body.

''Good morning,'' She smiled and waved at them, taking the vacant seat next to Sirius. Her scent did things to him that even if Sirius spent hours trying to describe it he couldn't succeed, it was as if the scent overtook his lungs and was food for the butterflies in his stomach that were already awake and making a fuss behind his ribs.

Breakfast went on as it always did, side conversations and Sirius making sure Lily blushed as many times as possible at his sly jokes, as well as letting her curse back at him so he would pretend he was mad at her, just for them to stay in that cold war that was the usual.

As everyone was getting up to go to their classes, Sirius rested his hand on Hestia's thigh under the table, he and James had another fifteen minutes before class, and he knew that Hestia had the first free period, which was the same as from Remus and Peter. The two went to the library to look for a book that he didn't understand what it was, and James took Lily somewhere with the promise to revise the routes they would take later.

"Want to lie down for a while before my class, doll?" He whispered, almost speaking out of legilimency, not wanting anyone to disturb them.

''Sure,'' She smiled, in that extremely cute and adorable way that made Sirius want to run screaming through the halls like the madman he was and already felt. He didn't usually go back to the dorm after he got out of bed, but now he had created this routine with Hestia because it was, oddly enough, the most secluded place he could find during class time.

James made it very clear when he wanted to go back to their dorm, so Sirius knew the times, and Peter and Remus hardly ever came back before the class break the four of them had after three o'clock, so in the morning he was free to stay with Hestia for a while there.

''You're pretty, doll.'' He kissed her cheek as soon as they were walking up the stairs to the dorm, no one else around.

‘’I know,’’ She shrugged, but he noticed the cute way she smiled and blushed briefly. When they got to his bedroom, blissfully empty and messy as they left it, Sirius watched as she kicked off her shoes and lay down on his bed, in the routine way as if they were just like Lily and James, and it took a lot of self-control not to daydream about them actually being like their friends, kissing and publicly being a couple with no shame in the comments or stares.

Sirius lay beside her, his arm under her head, feeling her curly hair caressing his skin, the two of them turned to face each other, her small body fitting perfectly against his, her legs on top of his, and their noses almost touching.

It wasn't long before she reached over and kissed him, her soft mouth doing things to Sirius that made him feel back to being thirteen and getting hard just at the thought of a woman next to him. It was like being in heaven, nothing got in their way and while she was there, lying next to him, the world was perfect in a way that even he couldn't explain.

It was the best fifteen minutes of his life, for sure.

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

Alphard wasn't the best example for Sirius. Alphard was different from his family. For instance, he hadn't married despite the fact his mother insisted on the subject every time she saw him. Alphard liked parties more than business. Alphard loved to drink, Alphard consumed drugs, Alphard loved to have sex. Sex with men. 

No one knew about this secret life. Because Alphard didn't want to be disowned. Plus, he liked his parents (when they didn't bother him), and he liked his siblings. Cygnus and Walburga. Alphard liked his family. He just wished they had different ideas of what life was supposed to be. He wished they were more liberal. 

But Alphard became a hero for that boy. Alphard reckoned it was for the fact he had the worst parents. Orion was an idiot that only cared about himself. Abusive with Sirius. Walburga was too young when he had Sirius, perhaps she didn't know what she was doing. Walburga made the mistake to give more attention to Regulus, leaving Sirius to the side. 

Alphard was the only one that actually listened to him. Sirius was a brilliant boy, full of energy, and full of love to give. The problem was that nobody gave him love. And Sirius craved it. 

Alphard was not good with children. He never wanted children of his own. He couldn't even if he wished. But Alphard had grown fond of Sirius. He couldn't help it. He knew he wasn't the best example for him. Perhaps he caused him trouble with his parents. Alphard didn't know how to do this. And Sirius came looking for him everytime: for advice, for attention, to be listened to. So Alphard couldn't refuse.  

For The Blacks, Sirius was the precious Heir. They forgot Sirius was only a kid. The pressure was too much for him. 

"Listen to me, Sirius" he told him "Promise me you're not gonna let them mold you. Promise me you're gonna be yourself. And follow your own path"

"I want to be like you, Uncle Alphard. Free to do whatever I want. Have fun, live adventures and do not commit"

Of course Sirius didn't know Alphard's reality. He was a coward. He pretended to be someone he wasn't. He had a double life. He had to hide all the time, lie, and deceive. Even to Sirius.

Alphard knew Sirius needed someone braver, more responsible as a role model. Perhaps someone who had the guts to confront Orion and his sister, and take Sirius away from them. Give Sirius the parent figure he deserved. But Alphard was still a coward. Everytime Sirius left his flat with watery eyes, pale expression and concerned eyes, Alphard was always left with a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't do anything. 

Alphard shouldn't be Sirius' role model. He should find someone else. Alphard was sure he would find someone else. And he wished the best for Sirius. He wished him all the happiness in the world.