#roommate!remus

[iamgonnagetyouback]

hi it's me back again this time for the trope corner! my fave character atm is definitely remus and I'd love something with the trope roommates to lovers with him pls? maybe with a bookworm!reader if that's okay? love ya bunny 💕💕

roommate!remus lupin x bookworm!reader where he acts like he hates you but still there are new books lying on your desk every day

As a bookworm, your life has always been about books, shelves packed to the brim, and stacks overflowing onto every available surface in your room. And then there was your roommate, Remus Lupin. Tall, thoughtful, annoyingly observant Remus, who, despite his quiet nature and penchant for his own bookish pursuits, seemed to approach reading differently. He devoured classic literature and thick academic texts while your heart beat for modern fantasy and anything with a fairytale retelling. You’d always thought he found your taste… well, inferior. There were times you’d catch him glancing at your bookshelves with a slight furrow in his brow, and it made you think he didn’t really like you, or worse, that he found your tastes childish.

But then something strange started happening.

One morning, you’d found a new book on your desk with a small sticky note: "I thought you'd like it. - Remus." The title was something you’d had on your “to-read” list for months, a limited edition copy with a beautiful cover. You’d been bewildered, touched, but totally thrown off. How did he know? He barely even seemed to notice your genre.

From then on, more books started appearing, each one exactly something you’d wanted to read, always with a note in his scrawled handwriting: "Saw it and thought of you." or "Seems like your thing. - Remus." Each time, you’d been filled with a strange mix of happiness and confusion. Whenever you tried to bring it up, Remus would brush it off with a casual, “Oh, they were on sale.” Yet, none of the bookstores nearby had any sales at all—believe you, you’d checked.

Finally, you decided to return the favor. After sneaking glances at his desk and asking him (subtly, of course) about his favorite authors, you picked up a series you thought he’d like. You left it on his desk with a little note—but no signature. When you heard the familiar jingle of his keys in the lock, you dashed to your room, grabbed a random book, and opened it, pretending to read with intense concentration.

Only to hear footsteps pause in your doorway. You didn’t look up.

“Dove…” Remus’s voice had that exasperated yet amused tone you knew all too well. “Why are there new books on my desk?”

You looked up innocently, feigning ignorance. “What books?”

His hands went to his hips, and he gave you that intense stare he used whenever he was piecing something together. “Some new books that, interestingly enough, I mentioned to you in passing last week. Books I happened to say I’ve been dying to read.”

You shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know anything about that. Besides, don’t flatter yourself, Lupin. I don’t hear half the things you’re saying most of the time.”

“Sure,” he said slowly, though his eyes gleamed with mischief. He turned, but as he reached the door, he paused, then poked his head back around the frame. “By the way, dove…”

You raised an eyebrow.

“Your book is upside down.” He smirked, taking in your mortified expression. “While I think you’re quite brilliant, I don’t think you’ve quite mastered the art of reading that way.”

You felt your cheeks burn as he left with a wink, and as soon as he was out of earshot, you grabbed your pillow, letting out a muffled scream into it.

The next day, a new book sat on your desk, along with a sticky note: “I’ll gladly accept more book recommendations if they come with you pretending you don’t like me. - Remus”

You bit back a smile, your heart hammering with a mix of frustration and excitement. Remus Lupin was infuriating. But maybe, just maybe, he was also a little bit wonderful.

guys i think i found my most favourite oneshot i've ever written

[moonstruckme]

sirius x reader where reader is remus' roommate at academic and one day she meets sirius when he is visiting remus and they click right away, all flirty and smiles and remus acting all annoyed but is actually happy for them

Hi sweetness, thanks for requesting!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

modern au

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 555 words

“Hey,” Remus calls as he walks in the door, Sirius in tow. “I brought a friend over, hope that’s alright.”

You barely look up from your laptop. “Mhm, sure.” 

“Thanks,” he says. He feels weird asking—you’re amiable enough, and have never given Remus any indication that you care what he does in your apartment. Still, you’re a quiet thing. You generally keep to yourself, which suits Remus just fine, but it makes him feel a bit guilty that he’d forgotten to tell you his loudest, rowdiest friend would be coming to visit. 

Sirius’ eyes blow wide as soon as he catches sight of you, and he shoots Remus an open-mouthed look he can interpret without his friend saying anything: You didn’t mention your roommate is hot.

Remus sighs. “Sirius, this is Y/N. Y/N, Sirius.” 

You shut your laptop, looking up with a polite smile that only broadens as you take in the boy in front of you. “Hey,” you say, your eyes assessing. 

“Hello.” Sirius grins at you. “So, how are you enjoying living with our Moony? Is the snoring getting to you yet?”

Remus huffs indignantly, but neither of you seem to notice. 

“Moony?” you ask. 

“Old nickname.” 

“Right.” You shrug, looking bored. “Remus is a great roommate. He’s clean, quiet, not a creep. Checks all my boxes.” 

Remus grins proudly (though really, that seems like a fairly low bar), but Sirius shakes his head in disbelief. “Seems like she’s too nice to you, Moons,” he says solemnly, speaking apparently to Remus but with his attention still solely on you. “Who’s being mean to you when I’m not around to do it?”

You cock an eyebrow. “Sounds like he needs to be meaner to you.” 

Sirius grins. “Ah, he sure does try, but unfortunately there’s not much to say. I’m impervious to insult.” 

Remus is beginning to feel like a piece in a game in which he’s not expected to participate. “Are you sure about that?” he asks innocently. “Because I seem to recall an event during fifth year—”

“Although I have to give it to him.” Sirius rushes to speak over Remus, somehow still maintaining a casual tone. “He definitely knows how to pick the most gorgeous friends, doesn’t he?”

Remus is surprised at how easily you rise to meet Sirius’ bravado, not even the faintest blush coming to your cheeks as you return his smile. “Seems like it.” 

Remus rolls his eyes at the two of you, though he has to admit he’s immensely entertained. “Y/N,” he says, feigning reluctance, “Sirius and I were going to stop by the pub down the road, would you like to join us?”

“Sure.” You stand, shooting Remus a smile sweeter than anything you’ve shown Sirius thus far. “That sounds great, thanks.” 

Sirius almost knocks Remus over in his rush to occupy your attention again. “Excellent! Let me guess, you’re a cider girl?”

You roll your eyes at him, brushing your shoulder against his as you pass and letting him trail after you like a puppy. “Guess you’ll have to buy me one and find out.” 

“Enticing.” Sirius’ grin turns wolfish. “I don’t mind a bit of mystery.” 

Remus heaves a sigh, following the two of you out of the apartment and locking up. He suspects he’s in for a night of third-wheeling.

[prettybabybaby]

belle!! just had a thought abt obsessed roommate remus. what if he started stealing reader’s panties or something… n she walked in on him.. would they finally fuck 🤭🫣

see here's the thing ! i get requests asking for a second part where they fuck but i really like the idea that obsessed!roommate!remus will never get to fuck reader and it just makes him a pathetic desperate loser so i just cant finish a piece with the concept of reader being into it

[ellecdc]

hellooo elle! i saw youre taking requests for blurbs and i’ve seen your roommates!marauders and i was wondering if you can write about maybe yapper reader with roommate remus? i love this dynamic and i feel like remus would be perfect for this! i loved your grumpy roommate one with sirius <3

hiii baby! I'm loving roommate marauders, what is that about?! thanks for your request <3

Remus Lupin x roommate!reader who is excited to come home to him [1.5k words]

CW: fem!reader, reader is super chatty, remus is smitten

Sirius’ story was interrupted by the sound of the door to your flat closing and you excitedly shouting “Remus!”. 

Remus probably should have been a little embarrassed at how quickly a smile spread across his face at just the sound of your voice in front of all of his closest friends, but he couldn’t find it in him to be bothered when you continued chanting his name; still yet to appear from the entryway into the living room that he and his friends were occupying. 

Sirius made a point to roll his eyes as he sat back in his seat, but Remus could tell by the cheeky smile on his face that it was all in good nature.

“Remus, Remus, Remus, Remus!” You continued breathlessly as you flew into the living room; eyes wide and excited as you spotted Remus in his usual place. “You’ll never guess-”

But the words died on your lips as you noticed the small flat full of people - James, Sirius, Peter, Lily, and Marlene - all smiling at you with varying levels of teasing and fondness. 

“Oh my god.” You breathed out through a nervous laugh. “I’m so sorry, I completely forgot-”

“No! Hey! Don’t leave us in suspense; what would he never guess?” James offered then, earning a few chuckles from his friends. Remus was glad to note you didn’t take any offence, though you still folded in on yourself slightly in embarrassment. 

“Oh god, no. No, I’m sorry; it’s really not at all interesting, I feel so silly.”

“You’re not silly.” Remus countered quickly. “Would you like to join us?” 

You chewed on your lip as you considered the room, though Remus already knew your answer. “No, that’s okay. I’m really sorry to have interrupted. You guys have fun!”

And with one last wave and a bit of disappointment on James’ part for not getting to hear what had you so excited, you headed down the hall towards your bedroom. 

“She’s so sodding cute, Rem.” Lily told him, as if Remus wasn’t already aware how sodding cute you were.

“Is she always that excited to come home to see you?” Sirius added with a salacious wink. 

“Knock it off, you prat.” Remus scoffed as he tossed a crisp at him. 

Sirius held his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m only asking! S’not every day you find a bird that eager to tell you about her day.” 

“Is she always so… excitable?” Peter asked then before taking a sip of his drink. James fielded that question.

“She’s very chatty.” He explained simply; not an ounce of judgement detected in his tone. “One night she was able to tell me a very thorough history of the pub we were sitting in. Did you know monks used to run it?” 

“She’s most excited to talk to Moony, though.” Marlene quipped - apparently not at all interested in the hops brewing monks - causing him to roll his eyes. “She’s never been that excited to talk to me.”

“No one’s ever been excited to talk to you, McKinnon.” Sirius volleyed, earning him another crisp in the side of the head. 

The group delved into chatter then, but Remus’ eyes migrated to the hallway you’d just disappeared down. He wasn’t sure what could have been so exciting about work that would have had you careening in here, though looking at the time, you had come home a bit late. Did something happen on your way home?

“Why don’t you go make sure she’s alright?” Lily offered him quietly then, and Remus was mortified to realise she’d been cognizant of his wandering mind as she offered him a knowing smirk. “Keeping that much excitement in can’t be good for a girl.” 

Remus huffed out a laugh, wiping his clammy hands off on his knees before standing and making his way down the hall.

He paused in front of your door and knocked gently, waiting to hear your responding ‘yeah?’ before he popped his head in.

He held onto the handle with one hand and the doorframe with the other, smiling widely when he noticed you had already changed into comfies and were curled up on your bed with your laptop set up in front of you. “Can I come in?” 

“Of course.” You agreed easily. “I don’t want to keep you from your company, though.”

“Oh, they don’t even realise I’m gone.” He scoffed as he perched on the edge of your bed, hand itching to reach out and brush the soft skin of your exposed knee. “What’re you watching tonight?”

“Don’t worry, Rem.” You chided tauntingly. “I’m saving Will & Grace for when we can watch together.”

“Good lass.” He nodded at you, following up with a wink when you flustered at his flirting. “What are you watching?”

“There’s a documentary about Penguins on Disney plus.” You admitted. “His name is Steven and I love him already.”

“I have friend’s over one night and you’re already replacing me.” He sighed, though his melancholy expression vanished completely at the sound of your bubbling laughter. “Does he at least treat you well?”

“You have nothing to worry about, Remus.” 

The two of you smiled at each other for a moment before Remus wondered if your cheeks were as warm as his were.

“So… what were you going to tell me when you got home?” Remus asked, and you let out a very excited gasp and actually slammed your laptop shut - he wondered then if that wasn’t half the reason your laptop gave you so many problems. 

“Okay! You know the bookstore we like so much? On-”

“Cecil, right.” Remus agreed, you nodded eagerly at him.

“Yes! So I don’t know if you’ve noticed the shop cat there? He’s usually on the second floor and lounges on top of the bookshelves.”

“How do you know?” He asked accusingly. “You can’t see the tops of the bookshelves.” 

“Sod off.” You laughed as you swatted at him; he pretended to sway from the force of your hit. “Anyway, the clerk said his name is Hemingway, but he never lets any of the patrons of the store pat him, just the staff!”

“Not on your watch.” Remus interjected.

“Certainly not! So I stopped by today after work with a little catnip mouse and a few kitty treats and we’ve become best friends.”

“Best friends?” Remus clarified, you beamed at him and nodded eagerly. “I have friend’s over one night and you-”

“Remus!” 

“See, dove, you tell me I have nothing to worry about, but it feels an awful lot like I should be worried.” 

“I think you might be a little harder to win over than Hemmingway, Rem. Unless you appreciate catnip mice and kitty treats? Because I have more in my bag.” 

Remus narrowed his eyes at you as though he were considering it, and you raised one of your eyebrows at him in challenge before a round of laughter from his friends reminded both of you that he actually had company over. 

“How about…” Remus started as he made to stand, walking backwards in the direction of your door so he could maintain eye contact with you “three episodes of Will & Grace tonight?” 

“Deal.” 

“Great.” He responded; tone far softer than he meant it to be as he hesitated in your doorway. “It’s a date.”

“I’ll meet you at 11? The usual place?” 

The usual place being your shared kitchen in your shared flat where the two of you would prepare popcorn and drinks in silence before moving to the living room together and sharing the loveseat in front of the TV. 

“Can’t wait.” He agreed with a smile before closing your door behind him and returning to his friends. 

“Your bird okay, Rem?” Marlene taunted as he returned to his seat. 

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes. “My flatmate is fine, McKinnon; thanks for your concern.” He responded dryly. 

“What was she so excited to tell you?” James asked as he reshuffled a deck of cards to deal Remus in. 

“About some shop cat at a bookstore.” Remus explained, pausing at the dramatic gasp it elicited from James. 

“Hemingway!?” He all but squealed. 

“I-” Remus started, sharing a sideways look with Lily who already had her head in her hands. “Yes?”

“On Cecil Court?!” 

“...Yes?” Remus offered carefully.

“Oh my God!” James cheered as he stood - nearly flipping the coffee table over in his haste to get to you - and took off down the hall chanting your name in much the same way you’d been chanting Remus’ when you first arrived. 

“Where do you two find these people?” Peter chuckled as he picked up the now abandoned deck of cards. 

“You might have to fight Prongs for custody there, Rem.” Sirius added with a laugh. 

“I have a feeling James might lose that one.” Lily replied impishly. “Remus seems rather keen on keeping her around.”

And though Remus folded his lips over his teeth in an attempt not to smile, feeling his cheeks warm to near painful levels, he really couldn’t argue. 

Remus was rather keen on keeping you around.

[writtenbymoonflower]

Heyoo! How are you dove? Can I request more roommate!poly!marauders x shy!reader pleasee! Your fics have a special place in my heart

roommate!marauders is my drug <3 thanks for requesting hunny! fem!reader x roommate!marauders

cw: thunderstorms, poor boundaries with roommates

659 words

You didn’t realize the sheer volume of the downpour outside until the chatter of your roommates in the sitting room couldn’t be discerned over the pounding of raindrops reverberating off your window panes. You weren’t complaining, though. You were cozied under a multitude of soft blankets and fluffy pillows, your reading lamp emanating a soft glow onto the pages of your book, the smell of rain wafting into your room. 

That was until your lights slowly flickered a few times, before shutting off completely, leaving you in pitch black darkness. This was shortly followed by a shrill scream, then a crash, making your drop your novel. You untangled yourself from your covers, setting your book back on the bed, before venturing out. You held your hands in front of you as you stumbled around in the dark. You felt around for your doorknob, swinging the door open. You didn’t make it far before you tumbled into a tall torso and lanky limbs. 

“Shit, dove! Sorry! I didn’t see you there.” Remus blindly reached a hand out in an attempt to steady both of you. 

“It’s okay! I think that only raccoons can see in these conditions.” You attempted to joke. He rewarded you with a small chuckle. 

“Are you okay, though? You didn’t fall or anything?” You could hear the worry laced in his tone. It made your heart weirdly warm to know that he was concerned for you. 

“No, I’m all good.” You reassured. “Are you okay? I heard a crash.” You stepped further into the living area, carefully watching your footing. Remus chuckled again. 

“You wanna tell her what happened, lads?” His tone filled with unusual mirth. You could vaguely make out the forms of the other two boys in the dark. You heard Sirius grumble, though it was James who spoke up, much more timidly than typical.

“Well uh- we didn’t expect for the lights to go out, you know? Pads got a little spooked and screamed.” You could feel Remus shaking beside you with nearly-silent laughter. “And uh- Sirius spooked me, I guess. And then I dropped a plate.” He trailed off. Remus was now laughing loudly at his friends’ expense, but you could tell that there was no malice given or received between the boys, with them also joining in. You weren’t laughing, though. You resisted the urge to flounder over to James and check him for injuries. 

“Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?” 

“No we’re okay, babydoll. It’s in the kitchen, we’ll worry about it later. Come over here, though. You’re gonna trip.” Sirius’ hand circled your arm gently, pulling you towards him and James. You weren’t sure what you were in risk of tripping over, but you let him maneuver you as he liked. You were startled by the sound of sparking, making you jump back into Sirius’ chest. 

“Sorry, lovely. Candles.” James set the soft, flickering light onto the coffee table. Remus appeared right beside you again. 

“You’re all jumpy, dove. Are you sure you’re okay?” Remus cooed as James lit another candle. You jumped again as another hand grazed your back. 

“Y-yeah.” The dark was very unsettling. Purple light flashed through the house, quickly followed by a loud boom! 

“EEK!” You weren’t the one who made the sound, but you were pulled onto the settee, tumbling on top of Sirius’ frame, face landing in his inky curls. 

“Christ, Pads.” James flopped down next to your tangled forms. He pulled you off to settle you between him and the high-strung boy. “You’re gonna kill her before the lease is up.” Another wave of thunder clapped through the house, this time Sirius only flinched. James pulled you closer to him in response. 

“Oi! I can’t help it. You know storms make me flighty.” He argued, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you back against him. “It’s okay though, I’ve got this dolly to keep me safe.”

[xxxanteaterxxx]

Roommates AU

roommate!remuslupin x fem!reader

CW: swearing, thats about it really.

lemme know what you thinkkkkk part 2

this is totally inspired by @moonstruckme btw

"So, do you have anything specific that you're looking for mate?" James asked, staring down out his laptop. Remus sighed; he had been looking for an apartment for weeks, but nothing had turned up in the area he was interested in.

"Honestly, anywhere would work at this point." Remus was looking at his own laptop, scrolling through all of the postings he could find. Nothing was available through, and Remus was about to be homeless.

He couldn't afford to keep living in his current flat, not since his roommate had decided to move back home. Remus had been stressing over this for months now, ever since his roommate had told him the news.

"How do you feel about a roommate bud?" Sirius asked suddenly, sitting up from where he had been laying down and scrolling on his phone. He stretched his arm out towards Remus, waving his phone around.

Remus snatched it and took a look at the posting Sirius was looking at.

"Two bedroom and one bath apartment. Looking for a roommate ASAP. Rent is $500 a month (utilities included). Message me for more information. :)"

There were pictures underneath the post. Remus clicked on the first one. It looked nice enough to him. He forwarded the post to himself before he messaged about it.

"I'm gonna send a message, see if I can schedule a walk through." Remus sighed as he tossed the phone back to Sirius, who seemed highly impressed at his find. He picked up his own phone and found the post.

He clicked the message icon at the bottom of the post.

`Hey, I saw your post about looking for a roommate. Is the room still available? Could I maybe come by for a tour soon? `

He sent the message before setting his phone to the side and continuing the search. Not expecting to receive a response for a while.

Not even two minutes later his phone buzzed. He grabbed it and sat up when he saw the response.

`Would today work? Maybe around 12? `

Remus was quick to respond.

`Yes, 12 works great!`

Then he followed it up with another.

`Can I bring some friends?`

The reply came just as fast.

'Yes, I'll see you then!'

Remus stood up, a large smile growing on his face. To say he was relieved was the understatement of the year. He looked at his friends.

"I've got a tour scheduled at 12 today, you guys wanna come?" He questioned. He really hoped they would, what if you were a serial killer and the post was only a ploy to draw unsuspecting victims in.

"Course mate! Its 10 now, what if we head out and find some food around that area?" James asked, causing Sirius to jump up quickly.

"Let me grab my shoes!" He called as he raced down the hall to his room. Remus shook his head and gathered his belongings.

It was right around 12 when there was a knock at your apartment door. Abandoning the cookies you were making, you raced over to the door. You had almost made it too, but the fuzzy socks adorning your feet caused you to fall.

You groaned as you pushed yourself up and yanked the door open with a large smile on your face. It dropped slightly when you realized that it was men on the other side.

"Hi! I'm Remus, we're uh here for the apartment tour?" There were three guys standing outside. The tallest of them was the one who had spoken. You nodded and opened the door wider for them to enter.

"I'm Y/N! I'm sorry about the mess..." You gestured around the living room. "It's my day off and I've been bingeing some shows." You kept a smile on your face as one of the other boys chuckled.

"So, let's get on with the tour!" You clapped your hands together. "I'll show you around and then let you guys look around by yourselves, yeah?" Receiving nods, you turned around and began the speech you had practiced in the mirror when you and received the message.

"Obviously this is the living room..." You mumbled and then walked towards the kitchen. Before entering you turned around. "Warning, I'm making cookies right now, so the kitchen is a bit of a mess."

You entered and they filed in after you, looking around and nodding to themselves. "Cookies anyone?" You asked as you grabbed the plate of the ones that were ready. They each reached out and grabbed one.

"These are amazing." You heard someone moan.

Moving on you began to lead them upstairs. "Right there is the bathroom and right here is my room and right here is the other room!" You said walking quickly down the hall and pointing things out as you did so. You turned around to face the three. "Any questions?"

No one answered and so you nodded. "Smashing, have a look around. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me!" And with that, you were darting back downstairs just as the alarm for your second round of cookies beeped.

Sirius was staring after you like you were the love of his life. His mouth hung open and his eyes were wide. James cleared his throat while looking at his best friend and roommate in amusement. Sirius shook his head and turned to look at Remus.

"Well, if you don't want to live here, I sure fucking do." He said before he walked past Remus and into the room you had said was the available one.

It was a nice sized bedroom with a window and a very large closet. Remus was quite impressed with it actually and you seemed nice enough.

He could definitely see himself living here, even if it was with a total stranger. He walked back out into the hall, heading for the bathroom to have a look in there.

You seemed pretty neat; all of your stuff was kept on a shelf and in a couple of drawers. Remus noticed how big the bathtub was, and he sighed at the thought of a nice bath.

As he walked further down the hall, he realized that your door was open, and he had to fight the urge to take a look around. He turned to walk back to the room that would be his so that he could ask James what he thought but his two friends were gone.

He listened for a second as he heard talking coming from downstairs. He turned and made his way towards the stairs. As he made it down and saw that no one was in the living room, he headed for the kitchen next. There he saw James and Sirius sat at the table while you danced around the kitchen cleaning things up.

"These are delicious, by the way." James spoke after chewing what looked to be one of the cookies you had made. You turned from the sink to grin at him. When you saw Remus, you smiled and wiped your hands on the towel thrown over your shoulder.

"So, what did you think?" You smiled at him this time, your question had alerted the other two to his presence. Sirius answered before Remus himself could.

"Well, if he doesn't want it, I fucking do!" He spoke loudly causing James to look at him.

"And what about our fucking apartment?" James asked incredulously, looking at his friend as if he had just stabbed him. You paid them no mind as you looked at Remus for an answer.

"I'll take it. When's the soonest I can move in?" Your shoulders sagging in relief at his answer.

"Oh, thank fuck, no one else has responded and the last chap I had look around gave me the Heeby jeebies." You paused, blowing a strand of hair from your face as you thought about it. "How about as soon as bloody possible eh? That work for you?"

Remus nodded and a brilliant smile formed on your face.

"Great, let me fetch the lease agreement."

[number1abbasupporter]

Remus: apparently Sirius is my boyfriend now

Lily:

Lily: what do you mean apparently?

Remus: well he’s been telling people i’m his boyfriend

Lily:

Lily, holding back laughter: and he didn’t inform you until now?

[del-stars]

also sirius SHEDS. like he is constantly leaving hair everywhere. on rugs, in beds, stuck to clothes, it's literally on anything he's come into contact with. remus finds it kind of endearing and james thinks it's funny but peter is completely baffled by it. he keeps finding sirius hairs on HIS bed and has on idea how they're getting there. when he goes home for the summer he finds a sirius hair on a jumper he never even took to hogwarts and it nearly drives him insane

[engie-ivy]

(I really thought this was gonna be a lot shorter than it is! I still couldn't resist the epilogue😅 Written for @wolfstarmicrofic 30th: Traitor, to add some Fluff to an angsty prompt!)

1651 words

Part Two: Label-Stuff

Remus and Sirius are in a strong, committed relationship.

They just don't know it yet.

Couple-Stuff

"Remus, it's just you and me now, there's no one else left." Mary clutches Remus' shoulders as she looks him in the eyes. "We're the last ones standing, the only ones who haven't succumbed. The others all have fallen. It's just you and me."

Lily rolls her eyes. "Dramatic much, Mary?"

Mary shakes her head disappointedly. "Alice was a lost cause ever since she laid eyes on Frank back in third grade. Then Marlene met Dorcas at the coffeeshop and we lost her pretty soon after that. Of course no one can forget the day Gideon took Emmeline away. And now the unthinkable has happened, and our very own Lily gave in to James Potter, of all people." Mary pats Remus' shoulder. "We're the last ones who are still living our best single lives, free and independent."

"Goodness, Mary," Alice sighs. "You talk like being in a relationship means your life is over. It's just the beginning of a whole new and exciting phase!"

Lily nods in agreement. "I must say, it's a lot better than I thought it would be. There are actually so many new experiences to enjoy in life as a couple!"

"Yeah," Marlene says. "Even that stupid lameass couple-stuff isn't so bad when you have someone whom you enjoy being in a stupid lameass couple with. Like going to the bloody Farmer's Market on Saturday morning and sharing one of those giant, ridiculous caramel syrup waffles."

Mary looks unimpressed. "I spend Saturday morning in my bed after partying on Friday night, because, oh yeah, I still have a life."

"I actually like the Farmer's Market," Remus disagrees. "I usually go with Sirius. He pretends he thinks it's all so lame, but who always wants to share the syrup waffle?" He chuckles fondly.

"It's not just outings either," Lily says. "Just the normal everyday stuff too, like cooking, having dinner, doing the dishes, you never have to do it alone anymore."

"Sitting on my couch in my pj's watching trash tv with a bowl of food in my lap is like the best moment of my day," Mary says. "Never eating alone anymore sounds like a literal nightmare," she shudders.

Remus shrugs. "With Sirius and I being roommates, I haven't really been doing those things alone for years."

Emmeline glances at him. "Well, yeah, I guess you can do those kinds of things with a roommate too, but as a couple, you can add sappy romance to that everyday life! Candlelit dinners, movie dates, walks on the beach, watching the sunset…"

"Why does that have to be exclusively for couples?" Remus protests. "I mean, Sirius and I both love dinner and a movie, or taking the dog to the beach and watching the sunset. We can just do those things together."

Mary gives Remus a strange look, but then focuses back on Emmeline. "I can do all those things with three different guys each week if I want to."

Emmeline shakes her head. "It's not the same as being with the one whom you know is your person."

Alice thinks for moment, trying to find the right words. "Think about it like this," she says slowly. "When you're all dolled up, in full makeup, wearing your best outfit, ready for a night of fun, yes, you can have a good time with anyone. But the best thing about being a couple is that when you feel like absolute crap and look like an absolute mess and just want to stay in bed all day, your person will also be there, taking care of you, bringing you comfort food, making you feel better."

"Sirius has a sixth sense for when I'm having a bad day," Remus says with a soft smile. "Whenever I feel down, Sirius will bring home my favourite chocolate cinnamon buns, which they only sell at a bakery on the other side of town. And he's probably the only one who can make my tea exactly as I like it. He will make sure there's always a mug with hot tea on my nightstand when I'm sick."

Alice tilts her head and studies Remus thoughtfully.

Mary arches an eyebrow looking at Remus. "I was gonna say isn't that what you've got a mum for, but apparently, you can also have a roommate for that." She shakes her head. "Anyways, I still don't think having someone to bring me tea when I'm cranky is a good enough reason to have to constantly take someone else into account, deal with jealousy and spend time with in-laws you don't like."

"But even that is suddenly not so bad anymore!" Lily argues. "I always thought that I would hate having to spend my Sundays having dinner with my in-laws, but James is taking me to his parents' house this Sunday for the first time, and I must say, I'm actually excited!"

"Oh, you should be!" Remus says enthusiastically. "Sunday dinners at the Potters' are amazing! I'll tell you, Monty's Sunday roast is to die for!"

The girls all stare at him.

Remus scratches his head awkwardly. "Sirius started taking me with him years ago." He smiles sheepishly. "He says I'm Effie and Monty's favourite by now."

Lily keeps staring at Remus as she continues. "And I'm also going to spend Christmas Day with James' family…"

"Oh," Remus immediately chimes in. "Great! Effie pulls out all stops. Sirius and I always help with-"

"Bloody hell, Remus!" Mary breaks in. "You bloody traitor!"

Remus closes his mouth and blinks at Mary in confusion.

"Here I was, thinking that you were my last ally among the couples, but it turns out that you've been in a bloody relationship with Sirius Black this whole time!"

"I'm in a… With… What?" Remus sputters. "No! Sirius and I are friends, just friends!"

"Remus," Lily says calmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "The only way your relationship with Sirius differs from a couple's, is that you're not having sex with him."

Remus' cheeks turn red and he averts his eyes.

Lily's eyes widen. "Remus John Lupin!" She gasps. "You didn't!"

Remus' face turns bright red as he stares at his hands. "It… happened. Once or twice."

Lily shakes her head. "I can't bloody believe you!"

Remus lifts his head and looks at her defiantly. "Well, can you blame me?" He says defensively. "You know what he looks like! Besides, what's the harm?" He shrugs. "We're both single, but we still both have… urges, so to speak, and we find each other physically attractive, so why not?"

"And do either of you ever sleep with anyone else?" Marlene asks seemingly casually, studying her nails.

"I'm not," Remus says. "I mean, Sirius is just objectively incredibly attractive, no one can deny that, and we have great… uhm, chemistry in the bedroom, so it really wouldn't make sense for me to go out of my way to pick up some random guy. I don't really know about Sirius, but I don't think…" Remus trails off, pausing on the idea of Sirius with someone else and feeling inexplicably nauseous, and suddenly he wants nothing more than to change the subject. "Look, this is all very personal, and none of your business!"

"And do either of you ever date anyone else?" Marlene asks undeterred.

"We're not dating!"

"Fine." Marlene rolls her eyes. "Does either of you ever date anyone?"

Remus shakes his head. "Why would we? Sirius is my best friend for a reason, I can't imagine having a better time with anyone else, and I have zero desire to spend an evening making awkward small talk with a stranger. Besides, we both aren't looking for anything. Sirius does not want to give up on his freedom, and I don't want to deal with all the expectations and accompanying anxiety that come with a relationship."

"Oh, for god's sake, I can't bloody believe it!" Lily pressed the palm of her hand to her forehead. "You and Sirius are both so bloody afraid of commitment, but you completely failed to notice you've been in a bloody committed relationship to each other for years!"

"Sirius' and mine relationship is platonic!" Remus insists. "And, well, sometimes also physical, I guess. Platonic and physical, not romantic. I mean, not that I don't love him. Of course I love him, but more in a way that we complete each other. Sirius just feels like home, he's the only one who…" Remus trails off and runs a hand through his hair. "Wait, what was I saying again?"

Mary gives him a flat look. "I believe you were explaining how you love Sirius and are physically attracted to him, he's your other half and you're safe haven, but oh, all in a purely platonic way of course."

Remus groans and hides his face in his hands. "I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"Jamie?" Lily asks hesitantly.

James hums while he's laying with his head on Lily's lap, as she runs her fingers through his hair (like she has absolutely not been itching to do since fifth grade, no, absolutely not).

"Would you…" Lily is very careful to breach the topic. James isn't exactly good at dealing with change, and she doesn't want to upset him. Remus and Sirius are his best friends, and he might not be happy with the dynamic of their group potentially changing. Besides, those boys are both like brothers to him, so what if it makes him uncomfortable if the relationship between the two of them turns out to be not-so-brotherly?

Lily braces herself. "How would you feel about Remus and Sirius potentially one day being… more than friends?"

James stills, and a moment passes with him just laying motionless with his head under her hand, as Lily holds her breath.

Then James sits up and turns to her, his eyes wide and blinking at her. "Haven't they been a couple for the past three years?"

Read Part Two here!

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Not to be out of pocket during these trying times but Regulus tots fucks with classical music playing in the background (possible jazz if he's in a goofy mood) furthermore he somehow managed to align both his and his partner's climax with the climax of the music no one can figure out how but he does

[vinylfoxbooks]

September 30 - Congratulations | @into-the-jeggyverse | wc: 468

“How are you feeling, baby?” Regulus asks, helping fasten the cap to James’ hair while Euphemia drapes their cords over their shoulders. 

James takes a deep breath, shakily smiling down at their boyfriend, “I’m… more anxious than I should be.” They shake their head, “Remus and Sirius have already done this, I should be able to.”

“Remus was about to have a panic attack the entire time,” Euphemia hums, “And Sirius kept saying that he was going to puke.”

Regulus nods, “Although I think Sirius’ was all dramatics, since he literally strutted across the stage and flipped off the camera.” James laughs softly at that, “You’re allowed to be anxious, this is a big celebration of you.” 

“I know but…” they shake their head again. 

Euphemia finishes fiddling with their cords and pulls her child into a hug, “You can do this. No buts, you are incredible, James, you can do this.”

“And even if you do mess up, which I doubt that you will, I imagine there will be more than one student who will. Regulus adds, taking over from the woman when she pulls away from them. James holds him in a tight embrace for a couple minutes before they’re pulling away and nodding, a determined expression on their face. Regulus smiles at them, “Go kill it baby.” 

James nods and hops into the car with Fleamont for him to drive them to the ceremony. From there, it begins. It’s a whirlwind of an event, with time flying faster than James was ready for. Before they knew it, they were sitting down and going through the motions and the speeches, and soon after that, they’re walking and getting their diploma case, laughing softly when they hear the pure cacophony of sounds that comes from their friends and family, then going to sit back down. 

Soon after that, the ceremony is finished and James goes to find their friends and family, laughing when Sirius nearly runs them over with how fast he runs at them, “You did it Prongs! You fucking graduated!” After they’re able to peel their best friend off of them, they go through the motions of getting pictures and laughing and hugging their friends and family. 

And finally, when people have started to disburse to get ready for the grad party that they’re throwing, Regulus is waiting just behind their parents with a big grin on his face. He opens his arms and James is in them before anyone can blink, nearly picking up their boyfriend and letting him pull them into a fierce kiss. When they pull away, Regulus cradles their face in his hands, “Congratulations, baby. You did it.” And James can’t help but give him a dopey grin and another kiss.

[moonstruckme]

hi lovely! would you consider writing part 2 for reader that is remus' roommate and sirius, where they are freshly together? if you don't feel like it that's fine, have a good day darling

Thanks for requesting honey! Hope this is alright :)

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

modern au

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 1k words

When Remus opens the door, he banishes his surprise at finding Sirius there almost as quickly as he knows he’s not here to see him. 

“She’s in her room,” Remus says, stepping aside. 

Sirius grins at him, beelining down the hall. He’d been coming around a lot more often lately, and though Remus would like to be annoyed, it’s hard to deny how sweet the two of you are together. After your first meeting, Sirius had begun showing up every weekend, allegedly to hang out with Remus, though you somehow always ended up coming along. Then he started popping in on weekdays, claiming he forgot something at the apartment or was in the area and “thought I may as well stop by to see the two biggest nerds on campus.” According to you, he started showing up at your cafe a short while after that, acting surprised to see you and like he only vaguely recalled Remus mentioning you worked there (after he’d bribed Remus with chocolates for the intel).

You’d only gone on your first date the week before, and Remus had to meet Sirius nearly twenty minutes away from campus afterward to avoid any possibility of running into you as he gushed about the dress you’d picked out (Remus had seen it before you left; it was adorable), how smart you were (Remus knew), the book you were in the middle of (Remus had lent it to you), and did Remus know this and that and that about you? (he did). Sirius spoke like you were the most fascinating creature on the planet, and Remus wasn’t sure he’d ever seen his friend so happy. 

When he got home, you weren’t much better. It had taken you awhile to build up the courage, a few days of Remus catching you smiling at your phone or staring off to the side of your book with a dreamy glaze over your eyes, but finally you’d asked Remus (trying to be casual, as if he didn’t know better) about Sirius. It had started with questions about what kind of music he preferred, then what he’d been like when they’d been in school together, and soon Remus was telling you everything he could recall from the moment he met Sirius when they were eleven, surprised and a bit endeared by how eager you were for every story. 

The day after that, he’d started getting texts from James asking about the girl that had his best friend so smitten (“Moons, I’m telling you,” James had said, “I keep walking into his room to find him texting with his feet kicking behind him. It’s alarming”). It had begun to feel like all Remus did lately was relay information about you and Sirius to anyone who asked. Frankly, he felt lucky to have a first-row seat to the show, endlessly amused to watch as two of the most self-assured people he knew devolved into giggling fools in the other’s presence. 

Now, he can hear you squeal as Sirius bursts into your room, followed by some scuffling sounds, and then Sirius drags your blanket-wrapped form across the floor and out into the living room by your ankle. You curse and twist about, grinning with the sort of animation Remus hadn’t known you possessed until you’d met Sirius. 

“Alright,” Remus says in his bored, I’m-so-done-with-your-lovebird-shit voice (he’s had plenty of time to practice it in these last few weeks), “unhand my roommate, Sirius.” 

Sirius drops your foot, and you sit up, shaking your head in entirely faked exasperation as you straighten your rumpled hair. 

“Moony, do you know she’s been dodging my calls for days?”

Remus quirks a brow. “I heard you on the phone last night.” 

“Some bullshit about an exam,” Sirius continues as though he hasn’t spoken. “Can you believe it? You know me, I won’t stand for this sort of treatment.”

“I know you’re needy, Black,” you say, standing with the grace of a monarch despite your polka-dot pajamas and the blanket wrapped around your shoulders and going to sit on the couch, “but I can only afford to feed your ego every so often when my strictest professor’s exam is coming up.” 

Remus hums in recognition. “That’s tomorrow morning, isn’t it?”

You nod, brushing a greasy piece of hair behind your ear self-consciously, and Remus watches you sympathetically. He’s not sure how much you’ve let Sirius know, but it’s hard to live in such close proximity to someone and not pick up on their moods. You’ve been horrendously stressed about this exam all week. The coffee maker has been running nearly non-stop, the shower running not at all, and Remus has seen light coming from under your door at all hours of the night. 

“Maybe the two of you should go to a park or something,” he suggests gently. “Enjoy the nice weather, relax for a while.” 

You look anxious at the prospect of abandoning your textbooks for a few hours, but Sirius is assessing you, putting the pieces together of what this week has done to you. “Good idea, Moons,” he says, and Remus doubts he has to fake any of the enthusiasm in his voice. “What do you think, lovely girl, want to go on a little adventure?”

You hesitate, but in the end time with Sirius is too tempting to pass up. “Let me just get dressed.”

“Ugh,” Sirius complains. “If you have to.” 

A few minutes later Remus is watching you both warmly, feeling oddly like someone’s dad, though he’s not sure whose. He can’t help but smile as Sirius fawns over you, telling you how pretty you look and insisting upon tying your shoes for you (“Gorgeous thing like you, doing things for yourself? Don’t be ridiculous, sweetheart. Give me a few weeks, and you won’t remember how to tie your shoes or open your own door.”) before opening the front door gallantly. You’re all coy looks and feigned annoyance at his flirtation, but there’s more color in your complexion than Remus has seen all week, and you lean into Sirius when he wraps an arm around your shoulders. It’s all very sickeningly sweet. 

“Have fun,” Remus says, waving you out the door. “And Pads.”

Sirius looks back, gray eyes practically sparkling. “Yeah?”

“She’s got an exam in the morning. Don’t get her home too late.”

[lulublack90]

Prompt 22 - Roommate AU

@wolfstarmicrofic April 22, word count 938

CW - Pandora jokes about Remus getting murdered and dismembered.

Moving countries was scary. Moving to the capital city seemed scarier. Remus left his childhood home in the Welsh countryside and clambered onto the bus that would take him to London. 

He’d wanted to move for years but had always been too scared. His parents had instilled in him how dangerous it would be for him not to know anyone for hundreds of miles.

One morning, while he was munching on his cornflakes, he noticed an ad in his father’s newspaper. 

‘Roommate Wanted!

All bills are paid. Just pay for your own food. 

Sexy, well-bred male looking for a friend/companion to share a house in a highly sought-after area of London.

Please use the number below to apply. Please, serious enquiries only. No, this is not a joke.

P.S. Must love Bowie, or we’re not going to get along.’

Remus quickly put his breakfast things away and, grabbing his phone, fled outside, typing the number into his phone as he went. 

He settled under his favourite tree and pressed call.

“Hello,” A husky voice answered. 

“Oi, hi. My name is Remus Lupin, and I—” He started to explain. 

“Look, mate. I don’t know what you’re selling, but calling me at this ungodly hour is unacceptable. Goodbye.”

“Wait- wait. I’m not selling anything. I’m phoning about your ad!” Remus hurriedly spoke before the man could hang up. 

“Oh, in that case. Hello, I’m Sirius.” Sirius suddenly sounded a lot more cheerful. “So why do you want to be my roommate?”

“Well, erm. I’ve always wanted to move to London, but I’ve been a bit worried about living there on my own.” He told Sirius, deciding the truth would be best. 

“Uhuh, uhuh. Anything else?” Sirius sounded a bit bored. Remus knew he was screwing this up.

“I’m clean and tidy and don’t make much noise. I have enough money saved to pay my way—” Sirius cut him off again. 

“All the bills are paid for. You only need to get yourself food.” Remus nodded even though Sirius couldn’t see him.

“Oh, right. I wasn’t sure if that bit was true. Erm, I don’t have a job yet, but I’ll start looking straight away.”

“Remus, I’m gonna stop you there. I don’t think we’re going to be a good fit. I can already tell you are the complete opposite of me. No offence, but you sound like you go to bed early and like nothing more than to sit by the fire drinking hot chocolate and reading a good book.” Sirius said honestly. He wasn’t wrong. What Sirius had just described was his usual evening routine. He had to think of something compelling to change Sirius’s mind. 

“I have every David Bowie vinyl.” He blurted out. 

“Really?” Sirius sounded excited now. 

“Yeah, yeah, and I don’t know how you feel about T. Rex, but I have all there’s as well, and Led Zeppelin and loads of others.” All he could hear was the slight buzzing from the phones as the line went silent. 

“Alright, Remus Lupin, you’ve twisted my leg. You’re the only person who’s called so far that I’ve actually managed to tolerate for more than ten seconds. So, let’s give it a go. When can you move in?” Remus sat there in shock. 

“Really? You want me?” 

“Sure, why not? The room’s all set up just need to bring some clothes and whatnot. I’ll text you the address, and you can let me know when you want to come. If you find it’s not for you, you can move out whenever you like. That sound okay?” Sirius spoke quickly, but Remus managed to make out all the words. 

“Sounds brilliant. I’ll make arrangements and then give you a date.”

“Grand. Oh, and Remus, I really hope it works out.” With that, Sirius hung up, and Remus was left reeling.

“Oh, you’re totally getting murdered.” Pandora, his best friend, snorted when he told her he was moving to London and what the ad had said. 

“No, I’m not. Sirius seems really nice.”

“Oh, sweet baby, you are so getting chopped into little bits and placed around London to look like a smiley face or something.” She’d clapped her hands together and jumped up and down on the spot. 

“Gee, thanks, Pan. Love the confidence there.” He rolled his eyes and pushed down the panic that her words could actually turn out to be very true. 

The bus was packed with holidayers, commuters and everything in between. Remus was glad of his noise-cancelling headphones and his favourite book. In a couple of hours, he’d be starting his new life. Everything he owned was in the compartment under the bus and was surprisingly little. 

London was busier than he had ever imagined, coming from a tiny village. The noise and smells were overpowering. He got the tube from Victoria next to the coach station and rode it up to Islington. 

He followed Sirius’s directions through a beautiful, tidy neighbourhood. Remus walked past a picturesque park and found the house. Number 12 Grimmauld Place loomed above him. It was far grander than he’d imagined. He walked up the front steps and used the heavy serpentine brass knocker. It thudded loudly against the wooden door. He heard scrabbling on the other side before a heavy lock clunked, and the door swung open to reveal the most beautiful man Remus had ever seen, flipping his long black hair out of his face.

“Remus?!” Sirius exclaimed joyfully. Oh boy, Remus was in trouble. He reached his hand out and shook Sirius’s before following him into the house, closing the heavy door behind him.  

[ellecdc]

hey elleeeee

could i pretty please do 🐻 the sharing a bed prompt, “cuddling in their sleep” + “waking up with their faces centimetres apart”. with remus but theyre not together just pinNING for eachother and this happens.

consider it done

Remus Lupin x roommate!reader who cuddle for warmth and that's totally it [641 words]

CW: fem!reader, Remus sort of pining, but maybe it's not one sided!?!?, fluff, sort of a continuation from this post

Remus thinks he should perhaps feel a little guilty having taken advantage of the current situation; his original offer certainly hadn’t been a selfless one. 

Was the flat sodding freezing? Yes, it was. Would he have been up worrying all night that you’d died of hypothermia in your own bed? Absolutely. Was it indeed warmer having consolidated every blanket and pillow the two of you owned into one bed and sharing body heat to stay more comfortable? Damn right it was. 

But, it was because of all these aforementioned reasons that Remus felt it was perhaps a touch unethical to be enjoying his current situation as much as he did. 

The two of you were gripping each other’s hands and arms as if you were both afraid the other would simply float away had you not been holding on for dear life. The soft, cloud filtered light bathing your face in its glow; your head resting on one of his pillows he hoped to god smelled like you, now, that was but a few measly centimetres away from his own face. 

He found himself nearly holding his breath as though he was afraid to disturb the peace of this moment, one that he'd been fighting against yet secretly yearning for since he realised how much he enjoyed your presence; perhaps a bit too much to be simply considered roommates, or even just friends. 

He catalogued the way your eyelashes fanned from beneath your closed eyes and kissed the tops of your cheeks, fluttering ever so slightly when something would happen in your dream. He revelled in the way that you seemed to be smiling, even in your sleep; your lips relaxed and pursed ever so slightly as you breathed through your nose. 

Your nose - it was stupid and foolish and silly, but fuck - he loved your nose.

And this might well and truly be the one and only time he got to enjoy you like this, so sue him for what he did next.

He hardly had to move at all, really, he simply pushed his chin forward so that his nose bumped into yours. He was checking, you see, because he knew his nose was cold from the cool air surrounding your nest of pillows and blankets and body heat, but he needed to see if yours was too. He couldn’t in good conscience sit here and admire your nose if you were about to lose it to frostbite, now could he? 

Remus found himself smiling at the fact that your nose, for whatever reason, was slightly warmer than his. Good, he thought, I’d like her to keep her nose. 

“You’re supposed t’be sleeping.” You blurt rather suddenly for Remus’ tastes, still never opening your eyes as Remus rears his head back, though you strengthen your hold on his hands and arms so that he can’t actually move away from you.

“How long have you been awake?” He accuses you instead of admitting he was being a creepy fuck and watching you sleep.

You don’t answer him, though. Instead, you let out a languid stretch before releasing your hold of his hands in favour of wrapping your arms around his torso and slotting yourself against him; legs tangled with his and your nose - colder than the skin of his collarbone - pushing into his neck as you tucked yourself under his chin. 

“Go t’sleep, Rem.” You order him, tightening your hold around his chest as he allows his arms to cautiously encircle you in his own embrace; one hand splayed between your shoulder blades, and the other cupping the back of your head lovingly. 

He didn’t follow your order, unfortunately. But he did spend the rest of the morning wondering, hoping, nearly begging the universe that perhaps this might not be the last time he gets to enjoy you like this.

[lilacella]

It's ✨️Moodboard Monday✨️ (EXCEPT IT IS TUESDAY BECAUSE I FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY, I AM A STATE CURRENTLY!) where I periodically release all the moodboards chilling in my drafts.

This week:

🌈Wolfstarbucks as uni roommates!❤️❤️❤️

They're still antifa ☺️

[loganslowdown4]

Janus: I’m going on a date with Patton, bye.

Virgil: No

Janus: What?

Remus: Chores before whores.

Janus:

Virgil: Dishes before bitches.

Janus:

Remus: Cutting grass before getting ass.

Janus: I’m telling Patton what you said.

Virgil: NOOO

Remus: ITS JUST A FIGURE OF SPEECH

Janus: Goodbye *leaves*

Virgil: Degenerate!

Remus: Ingrate! Freeloader!

Virgil: Let’s go make all his gloves fingerless

Remus: Let’s.