croutonconfidential

[croutonconfidential]

for a hot second,because I was hungry, I thought this was noodles and not thread on a loom

Hey guys

[croutonconfidential]

"I don't want to read this" is totally valid.

"This is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

"I don't want to read this because it is disgusting to me" is totally valid.

"I don't think anyone should be allowed to read or write this because it is disgusting to me" is authoritarian.

[croutonconfidential]

omg new favorit naruto throuple!

Very rare nsfw Bird au !! Pls do not interact if ur a minor or I'll fucking kill myself, and then no one will get anymore Naruto content because I'll be dead

So, you know that one type of fic that's like "Tobirama sleeps Madara in an attempt to calm him the fuck down / give him something to focus on / tie him to the village so he will be less likely to leave or self destruct" ?

Ok so THAT. but now throw Hikaku in there to help. They are teaming up to try and tie Madara down before he doom spirals

Ok so. Hikaku and Tobirama talk about how they're worried about Madara's looming self implosion / mental state

Tobirama is like "don't worry, I'll take care of this."

And Hikaku is kinda press x to doubt but also kinda "alright, good luck"

Only for a couple days later Madara to seem to calm down / have become dramatically more smug and peaceful.

So, yk, Hikaku is like "woah, Senju-sama what did you do? Whatever it was, keep it up, this is wonderful I haven't seen him so level in months."

And Tobirama is like "Hmm. Yes. Letting him have his way with me certainly did seem to help calm him, didn't it?"

And Hikaku is like record scratch car crash noises "letting him WHAT."

So Tobirama explains that yeah, he let Madara fuck him. A lot. Also he would NOT shut up during it, which Tobirama also just kind of let happen which also seemed to help...? Double time therapy, I guess

And Hikaku is like. Head in his hands. If it works it works...? He guesses...? Oh my god he wish he didn't know this tho

BUT THEN.

Tobirama is gone for a week on a mission, and Madara is looking pretty bad. Like, sharp decline, he is in a bad way. And Hikaku, panicking, is like "oh fuck what would Tobirama do" and then ends up throwing himself at Madara out of desperation

It works !! Surprisingly well !! There were a couple hiccups at first maybe, but Madara and Tobirama were never exclusive or anything (and Madara might have partially agreed out of spite for Tobirama)

Madara calms down, Hikaku is left with his head spinning and very "fuckkkkk ok, too late to back out now. It worked, we are commiting"

Tobirama comes back and is pleased, less work for him. Good job Hikaku, he knew u were a real one

Now, this is purely tactical for Tobirama (at that point) it's a strategic fuck to calm Madara down, with a bonus of usually being good for him.

So he is pleasantly surprised Hikaku backed him up. He would have thought Hikaku might try and find someone else to throw at Madara, the fact he would sacrifice himself only further proves his loyalty to the village in his eyes

Hikaku one of the real ones fr, Tobirama's trust and respect in him is on the rise

Hikaku still has his head in his hands as he digests the fact this is his life now

Meanehile: In Madara's little world, rhe senju bastard AND his hot most loyal man in the world are throwing themselves at him. He is convinced he's winning.

And like, he is, to be fair. But only because of the mental illness

Madara is sitting around creating convoluted soap opera plot lines for the three of them in his head.

Like, he's imagining Hikaku and Tobirama office cat fighting over him, one of them getting jealous over the other, competing for his attention and affection. Two of Konoha's most powerful, well respected, high ranking shinobi... and they are fighting over Madara... he's so back..

Meanwhile Tobirama and Hikaku are telling eachother ab their recent Madara interactions and going "oh good, that should keep him calm for a few days" and nodding at eachother like "we are in this mess together, my brother in arms"

So, Madara ends up noticing the vibes in that corner and then he possibly ends up getting jealous of them spending too much time alone together (they are strategizing on what to do with/to him next) and gets even more pouty and mad even after they fuck, because "I bet this bitch was thinking about Tobirama/Hikaku the whole time >:(

(Meanwhile, Madara was the one thinking about the other the whole time. Mostly in the context of them joining them)

He finally snaps and rejects one of Tobirama's advances while saying something stupid shit like "why don't u just go sleep with HIKAKU, since I know thats where you REALLY wanna be. You think I haven't noticed you sneaking around with him, huh? Huh? Whore."

And Tobirama is like "are we seriously doing this now? Is this seriously what we are doing? Ok."

And Tobirama and Hikaku now have to strategize to come on to Madara TOGETHER or smthn, or at minimum put on some sort of production to feed into his sudden insecurities so they can guide him out of them

Madara meanwhile remains suspiciously fixated on the idea of them sleeping together (without him!!!! How dare they!!!!)

All of that is to say:

Tobirama and Hikaku end up sleeping together for Madara and having to put on a big show of it just to make Madara feel like he still has the power here.

Tobirama is largely indifferent to this turn of events, Hikaku remains "oh my god how is this my fucking life" but also "well. It's for the greater good, I guess. Not like it's a horrible fate for me."

So anyways: Hikaku and Tobirama alliance to try and calm Madara the fuck down via fucking and letting him fuck them. Pass it on.

[croutonconfidential]

and is konoha or any ninja village at all even taking any measure of census data to track their birth rates or changes in population density? are they comparing their current numbers of nija to the total village population and tracking the ratio of ninja to total population and harting the change over time?

do they or any form of administration have the information that informs them of such issues? and if they do how can they even know they are facing a declining birth rate and not just their numbers being shortened by the shinobi world wars? which i believe happen every 20 to 30 years or so and is also what i estimate to be about the same window of time populations would begin to show some signs of recovery

naruto population worldbuilding is one of those things that i just. can't even think about without getting mad. why are your classes only like 20-30 kids??? a YEAR???? and you're failing half of them??????? and this is allegedly sustaining a military force with tens of thousands of people? No It Is Not. 20-30 people die EVERY FUCKING TIME you introduce a new bad guy for emphasis or whatever!!! replacement rate is NOT fucking working!!!!! chunin exams only letting like. jkgadfjlkj 1? 2 kids per village advance? it's literally sooooo bad kishimoto did NOT think it through. i simply have to tell myself that certain characters are lying <3 or wrong <3

[croutonconfidential]

The option that Viktor didn’t leave because he felt Jayce had betrayed him by fusing him with the hexcore

The option that Viktor left because he finally saw how far Jayce was gone.

The option that after Viktor awoke, all he can think of is Rio in that floating tank, and the man who would do unspeakable acts for love. And Viktor realizes that Jayce Loves him, and that Viktor will drive him to being a monster if he stays.

The option where Viktor runs partly out of fear of what staying will mean for him, what it will mean for Jayce. He cannot let Jayce love him anymore. Because if Jayce cannot accept his death, Viktor will become his Orianna. Jayce’s One Pursuit.

The option where Viktor leaves because he’s scared Jayce will corrupt himself for Viktor, and it’s the one thing Viktor learned to fear the most.

The option where Viktor ends up stumbling to singed to avoid watching Jayce turn into singed himself.

[croutonconfidential]

oh i just realized that was foreshadowing

finally reading twilight or at least trying to and RAAAAAAA its a vampire book and first few pages bella talks about already saying her goodbye to the sun before arriving to forks, and most of the twilight saga titles are are lunar/night related celestial bodies/events and vampires traditionally cant live in the sun hrrrrg

[croutonconfidential]

its not even about trying to get something out of it later, authors already put a fic out there so they started it first, im doing my good deed of the day of leaving joy on a fic and letting someone know how much i liked something they put a lot of effort into, if i get anything out it at all its that i made someone happy thats it

im going to love and support all the fic authors i come across, i will be kudos georg if thats what it means to leave a kudos and comment on every fic, i will do it everytime i reread it, i will find their tumblr if its linked somewhere for me to find and tell them how much i adore their writing, this is what giving back to the community looks like as a fic reader, if you dont say anything they wont know youre there and they wont know how much you value what theyve made

[croutonconfidential]

hahaha soooo im staying up late making bad decisions and well, i spent most of my day on drawing my oc , still got to blend and contour but character design is fun enough for me to not feel tired despite how late it is, the outfit design is my favorite part of the process

I wanna make work on my arcane oc and watch arcane but I have schoool I have an essay due tomorrow night! So I can’t but I want to so bad

[croutonconfidential]

viktor was probably waiting for a touching reunion of some sort and was all sentimental while fondling the gear with nostalgia but jayce came in with the hammer instead

I THOUGHT HIS HANDS WERE TO THE SIDE BUT THEY’RE NOT, THEY’RE IN FRONT OF HIM HOLDING THE GEAR THAT REMINDS HIM OF HIS AND JAYCE’S GEAR??? HE’S FIDGETING WITH IT WHILE HE WAITS FOR JAYCE TO GET LED THERE???? THATS WHY IT ROLLED WHEN HE HIT THE GROUND??? He was having Jayce led to him while holding their gear that reminded him of the one they made together??? Im gonna be sick

[croutonconfidential]

obikaka odyssey Au

obito is Odysseus ,Kakashi Penelope, the founders is the cast of gods, obito crushed by the boulder and trying to make his way back home to Kakashi and his journey is thoroughly prolonged due to numerous obstacles and circumstances, maybe akatsuki is obito’s “crew” who he eventually sacrifices one by one to get back to his wife, zetsu should be calypso cuz it has good parallels to the show and the musical both, one of the uchiha play Helios cuz only an uchiha would go utterly apeshipt over their cow babies ya know cuz love and all that, touka or tobi would be ares or Athena it’s an either or situation for them, and kaguya is Zeus obviously

setting is more Naruto ninja fantasy land rather than Greek

[croutonconfidential]

to those of you who are moving here from tiktok, from someone whos used both tiktok and tumbr for years...

1. DO NOT censor your posts

dont censor sex, abuse, suicide, dont censor it. we dont have censors like tiktok does, you wont be banned for talking about these things and tagging them properly helps people avoid them (also, we dont have shadowbanning here)

2. we dont really have an algorithm

you follow who you follow, and you see posts from who you follow or what you search. the 'for you page' is basically useless here. this also brings me to my next two points

3. dont crosstag

we get it, on tiktok you have to crosstag for reach, but thats not really a thing here. just tag your posts properly (also posters often leave more info about the post in the tags!! and when you reblog stuff you can leave your own notes in the tags, kind of like the old "repost comments" on tiktok)

4. dont expect to go viral/be famous

"viral" isnt really a thing on here (at least not for the average blogger). your posts will probably get 2-10 likes and you wont get nearly as many followers than on tiktok. thats just how tumblr is

5. blocking is your best friend

tiktok is VERY discussion based, and while tumblr is much more discussion based than other social medias, its still not a good place for ragebait/discourse. dont interact, itll make your experience worse in the end, just block and move on

6. you cant go into someone elses house and start rearranging their furniture

this is tumblr, not tiktok. dont diss old tumblr users for how they use the site or try to change them, thats like going into someone elses house and trying to rearrange their furniture. we've been here longer and we're familiar with the site and its culture, either find your niche, adapt, or find a different app

[croutonconfidential]

if im not careful this oc is going to end with me re writing naruto the last for the sake of oc plot purposes and because i think the movie's plot is kind of stupid

me, in my naruto pajamas, watching naruto the last, drawing my naruto oc: "i like naruto a normal amount"

[croutonconfidential]

for real, he needs viktor more than the air in his lungs and you can see that in every single moment they are together, they pull each other from the edge and push each other forward their dynamic is consuming me entirely im unwell about them, its them making me insane, making you insane, making me insane

based off of this post by @croutonconfidential and inspired by @thermalz's comment adfsgfdg

close-ups:

(based off of that one picture of a husband begging his now ex-wife on his knees not to divorce him)

[croutonconfidential]

this is insane, imi insane, who else is insane? im so insanely flattered someone made art because of what i said, im going bonkers!!this looks so good!!! sad pathetic jayce that cant survive without his wife!!

based off of this post by @croutonconfidential and inspired by @thermalz's comment adfsgfdg

close-ups:

(based off of that one picture of a husband begging his now ex-wife on his knees not to divorce him)

[croutonconfidential]

me, in my naruto pajamas, watching naruto the last, drawing my naruto oc: "i like naruto a normal amount"

[croutonconfidential]

give me "Akatsuki? I think you mean polycule" for 500 please

😳 omg its bird hiiii~!

so the full title is "Akatsuki? I Think You Mean To Say The Polycule Of Dangerous Assassins That Want World Piece?" and im possibly goin to change it but the title works well for what im planing i just hope as i write it that the title still matches the tone im going for

the premise i had for this was that everyone in akatsuki actually wants world peace and to destroy the government/unionize against the shinobi system. basically, there is no secret puppet master getting them all to bring back kaguya and akatsuki is able to purse its original purpose of forming ninja union and stop wars. the recruitment pitches worked on all the original akastuki cast and eventually they all fall in love forming the akatsuki polycule and adding on to it with each new recruit.

the reason this is still a wip is because the large cast of people, the work that would need to go into building a timeline and tweaking cannon and i cant figure out if i want plot or character study for this project. the basic run down i have so far is as follows ....

obito committed too hard to international terrorism bit and it became real, the polycule led to him forming human connection and seeing akatsuki as more than a tool to puppet to the eye of moon plan so he committed to the bit because he began to want the bit to be real

orochimaru has been kicked out of the polycule for attacking itatchi for his eyeballs, because itachi is the polycule baby when he first joined and orochimaru tried to steal the kids eyeballs which is a big no-no

orochimaru has intense divorced energy with sasaori and kakuzu and is affronted that he has effectively been replaced with deidara and hidan because they are both loud noisy and stupid and the only thing the three have in common is that they are dramatic hoes that wont stop talking and orohcimaru refuses to see any similarity

kisame is mostly in akatsuki for the job security and the ninja union that obito promised him but like hmmm these people are honest with him about stuff and wont betray them because they share a common goal and are the strongest relationship he has and also maybe juzo biwa(previous owner of kubikiribocho before zabuza got it) is here in the polycule and maybe kiri nins stick together idk what to do with kisame's romantic life yet maybe hes not doing anything romantic idk

kakuzu is moneysexual here(im joking but not really) hes got something going on with hidan but i cant go into it since i have yet to build up how i want to write hidan

not everyone is dating each other or even dating anyone at all but they are all like sardines in a can and are a close knit group very insular so they are all very close

zetsu if he does exist in the story , my first thought was that he slowly drifts away from akastuki as they are no longer a useful organization to manipulate anymore and obito is slowly not listening to madara's will anymore so he goes to find other methods to do the eye of moon plant and either creates conflict with akatsuki for plot and the polycule has to save the world or i just retcon zetsu based of his first appearance cuz i recall hearing how kishimoto had retconned zetsu and a lot of naruto's plot to make the kaguya plot to divert from the inevitable conflict of naruto confronting akastuki and to in turn face the corruption and flaws of the shoinobi system because during the time naruto was being written there was a sudden rightwing movement in japan and kishimoto switched up his story writing for naruto because he was on the right but i for real can't recall the details and i fear i may be terribly misinformed about all of this but the short of it is i might retcon zetsu cuz kishimoto may have retconned zetsu first and i want to unretcon him and play with the character he could have been, its really complicated and i have no idea what im doing

i havent gotten the relationship chart set up but i really want them all to be a big found family that cares about each other even if they only care for bad or stupid reasons and a good portion of them are dating each other

[croutonconfidential]

ayyyy part two!

danny phantom

svsss

inuyasha

blackbuttler

demon layer

fairytail

seven deadly sins

blue exorcist

writer ask game

so @oh-no-its-bird is doing this writer ask game (link here)( go check it out! bird is so awesome with such imaginative abd creative story telling and pretty art to go along with it) where you share the name of your wip files and let people ask you about them

i got inspired to do this cuz i want to talk more about my writing projects and this is such a simple way to open myself up to questions about it. originally i reblogged it off birds post but i thought it would be better to have my own individual post cuz tbh a day later i felt like i post jacked and that i have a big heaping pile of wips that probably are better left contained on their own post cuz like...i have easily over 200 wips and i need to build this post in parts

so this is going to be separated by fandom because that is how i organize my folders, they are also in order of most recently updated to least recent and be warned that i do put my smut ideas in the same folder, also im bad at spelling so somethings might be a little tricky to read

and with that lets go along to the wip pile, im going through my folders in the order of most wips to least wips so more fandoms will trickle in as this goes on

this is my naruto works

the one piece folder

the miscellaneous folder of the fandoms that are too small to necessitate their own folder

dc

dc and danny phantom crossover folder ;)

bnha

arcane

bleach

atla

magi labyrinth of magic

crossovers

jjk

mcu

ever after high

and thats all the images i can shove in one post so part two is coming