#and all i can think is that the person who wrote that fic is engaged in fandom

[pynkhues]

Another fanfic writer got ran out of the fandom this weekend because of a 'guilty by association' harassment campaign. She wrote fic of Loustat switching and having a very Canonverse relationship, and a teenager started insulting her writing and inciting harassment by others until she quit writing. The allegation was she was mutuals with someone else who was assumed to be racist, which is flimsy enough, but the real reason was obviously that she wrote popular, beloved fics that did not subscribe to the Hypermasculine Daddy Lestat and Hyperfeminine Housewife Louis Fanon.

This fandom is a horrible place and I am so glad you're still with us and haven't let these people bully you into silence, Sophie. It's so awful.

I'm really, really sorry to hear that, anon. Can I ask who the author is? I'd like to have a look and maybe send them a message or a comment if I can. Hopefully they might be a bit like me though and come back after giving themselves some time and buffer.

It's all pretty hideous behaviour though, and mm - - okay, you know. It's been a few weeks since it all went down with me now, and I've had a lot of people reach out very kindly in DMs, and also had to have y'know, I guess I'd say offbeat, haha, and awkward and heavy conversations with people in my real life, both personally and professionally (although I will say it's kind of been a relief, and half my family has already turned it into a running joke. My mum, who was the first person I told, watched Disclaimer after I recommended it to her, and she keeps texting me photos of the Kevin Kline stalker character with 'your erotic fanfiction haters' and asking me if I'm sure I didn't kill somebody's son, lmao), but I've been thinking about it all a lot, and - - yeah.

Look, this is going to sound off topic, but bear with me for a minute, alright? Over the last two weeks, purely by coincidence, I listened to the Behind the Bastards episodes on Rush Limbaugh. I love that podcast in general, and those two episodes are fascinating, and really worth listening to if you're at all interested in the media landscape's pivot to the right in the last few years. They really explore who he is as a person, his ascent in radio, how he managed that ascent, and the space he created in media which would after him be filled by Fox News, Tucker Carlson, Joe Rogan,et al.

One of the ways that he did this was by being loud, but also presenting himself as trustworthy, and really the only person anyone needed to listen to. He was a smart guy, anyway, anyone could hear that, and if people listened to him, they'd be smart too. One of the first majorly successful runs of this was his campaign against the show Murphy Brown, which is about a woman who is a single mother and a lawyer, successful, bright, and who interacts with a lot of gay people in different capacities in her every day life. Murphy Brown is famous for being one of the first shows to normalise both successful single motherhood, and LGBTQI+ people as varied members of our communities.

Now, Limbaugh positioned the show as offensive, and anyone who liked it as morally wrong, but more than that, he positioned his opinion as the only right one, and he would actively tell people not only to not watch the show, but to not engage with anyone who might have an opinion of it that wasn't his own. He did this by telling people they would be stupid, or 'missing something' if they didn't follow his obvious intellect, that they didn't need to think about it themselves, because he would do the thinking for them, Smart Person That He Was.

And so I'm like, y'know, listening to the podcast on my commute to work, and I just kind of think - - huh. Because it's kind of familiar, right? And I got thinking about how all those people were reblogging my 'vile anti black post' and telling all their followers to block me, thus trying to control their followers ability to see my posts, and presumably the posts of others, since they seem to do that a bit, and then I noticed that those same people trying to ensure everyone blocked me.....didn't block me themselves. And it suddenly just clicked into place.

Fascist rhetoric has come to fandom. Per the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

In simplest terms, fascism refers to a specific way of organizing a society: under fascism, a government ruled by a dictator controls the lives of the people in that society, and allows no dissent or disagreement. 

Fascism is more than just political, it's a philosphy and a mindset. Rush Limbaugh was a media figure, and he was a fascist, and interestingly - importantly - he did not believe in most of what he said. What he wanted was power, success, control, an audience, and to dictate the rhetoric in the media landscape because that granted him that power, success, control, and audience.

And look, I'm not saying these people attacking others with different opinions in the fandom are fascists, but they're using a fascist playbook. Their criticisms, harassment campaigns, threats to dox, actual doxxing, threats to not only involve but criminally endanger children (which I have since learnt my nephews were not the first target of - someone in this fandom who I won't name reached out to tell me they'd similarly threatened to send things to her children) (also I've seen posts that the people who initially were vocally strawmanning my arguments wouldn't do that, and sure, maybe they wouldn't, but all I can say is that if I knew members of my own corner of the fandom were threatening to find and send porn to any minor, let alone children as young as 7, I would be loudly and outspokenly condemning it), and attempts to suppress anything they don't agree with, is fascist behaviour.

They are allowing no dissent, no disagreement, and actively interfering with people's real lives to achieve that.

I don't think this will make any difference to them, I think some might not know what they're doing, but I think a lot do at this point, and I guess what I want to do in this post is just to share what I personally think that it is, and I guess - - mm, not offer words of advice exactly, but perhaps offer some gentle encouragement. I'd encourage anyone in this fandom - hell, everyone in life right now, given the state of things - to approach anyone who tells you there is only one way to create, only one way to enjoy something, or interpret something, or only a select group of people that you should listen to, with caution at the very least.

Fandom - again, hell, community - has always, to me, been about encouraging others to explore and engage with it on their own terms. Diversity of opinion is good, it's healthy, different takes on characters should be exciting, different iterations in fanart and fanfiction is a celebration of the fact that we bring our own stories to, well, stories, and anyone telling you who you should or shouldn't engage with without having a healthy, equal conversation about why you shouldn't engage with them, should be given respectful, reasonable doubt.

Anyway, I'm sure this'll piss people off again, but y'know, I don't really care about them at this point. I think their behaviour is ugly, antithetical to what fandom has always been about, and frankly, I think it's antisocial. I do care about you guys though, and I don't know. I hope this perhaps sheds a little bit of light for you in the same way that I felt it shed a little bit of light for me, or at least makes you think a little bit more broadly about what this desire to control is a part of, and how to engage (or rather, not) with it. But more than anything, I hope that author's okay, and that they've made friends in this fandom like I have who can offer their support.

[thevioletcaptain]

y'all get that screenshotting fic to publicly make fun of it is straight up bully behavior, right? like. it doesn't matter if you redact the author's name. this is no different to a kid taking someone else's art off the wall in a classroom, walking out into the playground, and holding it up to say "haha look how shit this is"

[fruittt-punchhh]

attachment

(couldn’t find image source anywhere, if u know pls lmk!!)

Synopsis: Choso was one of your closest friends - you spent so much time together, others said you were ‘attached at the hip’. But when his curiosity blooms, you are the only one that can help quench his thirst for knowledge.

Characters: Choso Kamo x reader (about time)

Content: Minors Do Not Interact! smut, fem! reader, virgin! Choso (so virgin that he lives in a world where he has somehow at the age of twenty something never heard about masturbating or sexual intercourse), college au, link to prn audio, suggestiveness, cursing, mentions of female masturbation, male masturbation, maybe a tiiiiiny bit of voyeurism, pet/affectionate names, big (pretty) dick! Choso, just our sweet lovey boy Cho in his full glory tbh.

Word count: A solid 6k

Notes: AHEM! there is some spicy audio from twitter linked in this post as well as an SFW image at the end. you’ll know when you’ve reached that point, and it will be emphasized like this, accentuated with '*'. if that's not something you're down for, you can totally scroll past. if you arrrre down for that, i think you'll need to be logged into twitter beforehand for the audio. if you're on mobile, I'm not sure if you'll be able to hear the audio as you read (unfortunately), but if you can, you're in for a treat bitch.

More Notes: i finally have some of my own choso smut on this blog wtf. he is my guilty pleasure omg i mean literally who doesn't love him, more specifically him when he's an inexperienced desperate crying mess???? i really hope you enjoy this one, i have def enjoyed writing it. (side note - the songs i pick for these fics sometimes fit the vibe of what i wrote, and other times it's a song i can't get out of my head. both are the case for this one - i listened to this nonstop while writing so pls enjoy if that’s cool with u). there will be future parts, and if you want to be tagged in those and you’re not already, let me know!!! SORRY TO YAP ILY BYE

(I wanted to upload this at like 5p my time for engagement purposes but then I thought about all the bitches (me) that may work from home, read smut on the clock regardless (me), or simply don’t work rn, so I had to give you the goodness now)

“Y/n, c-can I ask you a question? Like.. a personal one?”

You and Choso were seated on the couch, eyes fixated on the rom com on the screen ahead. It was your weekly movie marathon night - the movie you two just finished was an action thriller that was right up Choso’s alley. It was your pick next, and you went with a classic rom com that had a few more spicy scenes than you anticipated. It left the air in the room feeling thick, both of you clearing your throats and glancing throughout the room as if someone’s parents were present.

You and Cho had been close friends for a while, and it helped that you shared a similar schedule this semester. Although he was a cutie, you had no clue if he shared a similar attraction to you. He was so shy, and while the shy emo boy thing has worked on you before, you felt like you’d do nothing but corrupt Choso’s innocent soul if you were to make a move. You let things play out naturally, enjoying the company he brought and your friendship - but if things went in a different direction, you wouldn’t be opposed in the slightest.

“Sure, Cho - what’s up?” You ask, noting the concerned look on his face.

“Have you ever.. done that before?” He asks, motioning to the screen, and your heart aches with how precious he looks. His eyes flick up at you when your hand rests on his shoulder so you can scoot a little closer towards him.

“Well, yeah.. yeah I have. What makes you ask?”

“J-Just the movie, I-I was just curious,” he blurts, trying not to sound as weird as he felt for asking.

“Well, what makes you want to ask me specifically, I mean,” you press, trying to read his expression through his shaggy hair and long lashes.

He blushes, making eye contact with you again before twiddling his thumbs in his lap.

“I just.. I’ve never done any that before, a-and I trust you, ya’ know? I didn’t know if I was weird for not doing that,” he says, his voice becoming shakier by the second.

“Ohmygod, Cho, no of course you’re not weird! Everyone discovers things at their own pace. There’s a whole lot of stuff when it comes to sex, so it can get overwhelming,” you say, rubbing his shoulder with your thumb to help calm his nerves.

Which was really doing the opposite. Your touch was searing hot on his skin and it worried him. He’s been touched plenty of times, even by you - but it felt like you might melt through his skin if you pressed hard enough. It felt that way on his outer thigh, too; your knee resting on his leg accidentally inching closer to the area he felt every blood cell creeping to.

“Y-Yeah, s’overwhelming for sure,” he says, shifting his position slightly further from you.

“I-I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Begin? Do you have someone in mind you want to do stuff with?” You ask, begging he says no. You felt a little weird for hoping, but you would hate for his first experience to be with the wrong person.

More blood rushes to his cheeks when he makes eye contact with you, quickly looking back to the TV when he sees a hopeful look in your eye.

“N-No, definitely not. I just want to learn more, f-for when that time comes,” he says, clearing his throat and hoping you don’t catch on to his half-lie.

Phew.

“Well it’s probably best to start with the basics, yeah? Just the simple stuff, then eventually you kind of.. figure out where to go from there, if that makes sense,” you add, and he responds with a simple nod as he turns to face you again, ready to absorb whatever knowledge you have to share with him.

“So… have you ever touched yourself before?” You ask, trying not to wince at how awkward you felt asking him something so personal. But you had to assess how much he really knew.

He furrows his brows in confusion and lets out a small laugh, “Um, obviously - see?” He asks as he pokes his stomach with his pointer finger, and you remind yourself to keep a straight face. You grab his arm to refocus him and he huffs a breath of half-laughter as he notices how the blood in your fingertips pulse against his wrist.

“No, Cho. I mean like.. down there,” you say, motioning to his crotch area with your finger - he still looks confused.

“You know? To have an orgasm..” you ask, hoping he will pick up on your hints.

“Orgasm?”

You sigh, trying to find the right wording to explain this without sounding belittling.

“So, when I said ‘touching yourself’, I was referring to masturbation. I’m not gonna’ teach you how to do that because a Google search will tell you all you need to know,” and he nods feverishly.

“When you do.. sex stuff - like masturbate, have sex, all of that, usually the goal is to have an orgasm. Not always, but most of the time. I don’t know all the science behind it, but when you repeatedly stimulate the nerves in this area,” you say motioning to your groin, “you can have an orgasm.”

“O-Okay, I understand. Is the orgasm weird? Sounds like it,” he asks and you smile.

“No, no not at all. It feels really good. You know how when you have to sneeze and there’s this big buildup, then bam, you sneeze? And you feel so relieved? It’s kinda’ like that, but a million times better.”

“Better than eating your favorite food? Or watching movies?”

He asks, eager to know more.

And you sigh again, “Well, it’s hard to compare it to stuff like that, but it is really pleasurable. It just makes your body feel good, I guess. It’s hard to explain it through words, but now you know a little more - if you’re interested in that sorta thing.”

“No, I think I understand better now,” he says, thankful for your instruction.

“Oh, and if you do masturbate, when you have an orgasm, some fluid will come out from.. down there. But it’s normal and happens to everyone.”

“Fluid? Even girls?”

“Yes, Cho, even girls. It’s different though for sure. For girls it’s more like clear.. slimey stuff? And for you it’s like a white.. liquid? I’m sorry, I’m so bad at explaining shit,” you laugh, rolling your eyes at how stupid you felt.

“No, y/n you’re doing a great job! I had no clue about any of this stuff. Question.”

“Shoot.”

“What is it called? The fluid,” he says hesitantly, still trying to wrap his mind around how making fluid come out of any body part was a good thing. He feels his crotch grow warmer and, out of embarrassment, shifts his pillow to hide his growing problem.

“Oh, well there’s scientific names for it, but everybody calls it cum,” you say as you will the blush to fade from your cheeks.

“Cum. Like ‘come here’?”

“Y-Yeah, pretty much. Just spelled different.”

“Got it. Another question.”

You nod.

“How do you know when to masturbate?”

You were hoping this was one he wouldn’t ask.

“Well kind of whenever you want to,” and his eyes widen, “Let me rephrase that. It’s kind of like using the restroom, right? Something that you do behind closed doors.”

“Y-Yeah, makes sense. But whenever you want to? How do you know when you want to?”

“Okay,” you start, “you know how people in movies talk about being horny? It basically means you’re.. turned on, you want to have sex, stuff like that. So when you feel that way you could do it if you want. For you it’ll be a little easier to tell.”

“How?”

“You know how when you wake up in the morning and your… area is hard?” You ask and he blushes, turning again to look at the television.

“Yes,” he answers simply.

“Well when it is hard, it doesn’t always mean you’re horny - it can just happen randomly. But whenever you do start to feel that way, usually it’ll get hard. But that doesn’t mean you have to masturbate whenever it is that way, you know? Just if you want to,”

He gulps as he shushes the images in his mind of you waking up in his bed beside him, still trying to understand all the information being thrown at him.

“O-Okay. I-I think that’s good, for now, to start at least. Thank you for telling me all of that,” he says with a smile as he tries to focus his attention to the tv.

“It’s no problem, I promise. You can always ask me questions about anything, you know that right?” You say, wrapping your arm around his shoulders to give him a quick squeeze of reassurance.

“Y-Yeah, of course,” he says, voice cracking as he finishes his statement. There was yet another passionate scene appearing on screen, albeit shrouded by covers and dim lighting. The discussion left him feeling hot all over, and the blood rushing southward had only increased. It didn’t help that you pressed your plush chest into his arm so sweetly when you hugged him. Although he had never seen a woman in that way in person before, he knew that if he had to pick, it’d be you. It always would be.

“Y/n, would you hate me if I had to go home? My tummy hurts for some reason,” he says with a grimace, rubbing his abdomen as he looks at you.

You chuckle, “Oh really? It wouldn’t have anything to do with the three pounds of candy you ate would it?” You ask, pointing to the empty wrappers he had shoved into the plastic sack they came in.

“You’re probably right, hah. I’m sorry, I just feel like I need to lay down,” he admits, wiping the sweat he feels accumulating on the back of his neck.

You shove into his arm, to which he responds with a fake ‘ow’. “Ugh, and right in the middle of my movie? You owe me one, Cho,” you say, sticking your bottom lip out for good measure.

He smiles brightly, crows feet decorating the corners of his eyes. “Duhhhh, we can just reschedule for the weekend. I should be free Saturday night if you wanna’?” He asks.

“I’ll have to check my schedule. Don’t leave much room in my calendar for traitors nowadays.” You say with a dramatic roll of your eyes. He giggles and pushes you back, sticking his tongue out before he gathers his things to go.

You reach up so he can give you your usual bye hug before he continues walking to your door.

“I’ll give you double next time, I-I don’t wanna get you sick,” he yells as he scrambles to unlock the door. You start to get up to demand your hug before you hear the door open with a rushed ‘see ya’ later’ as he shuts it.

He rushes out the door, fumbling for his keys before he sits in his car with a huff. He was throbbing now, but you said it was something to do behind closed doors. To be fair, he was scared to try. What if he didn’t do it right?

He wipes his palms on his pants, turning the key in the ignition before he pulls out of the drive. He had so much to think about - there was no time for music. He drives home in silence, replaying the conversation the two of you had as he tries to will his hardon to go away. But each time he thought about it, it would twitch in response to the images of you in his head.

You watch him leave from your kitchen window. He looked okay, maybe a little feverish. With how sudden it came on, you felt like it had more to do with the conversation you two had than the exuberant amount of candy. You did throw a lot of information on him at once though. You want to text him to get to the bottom of things, but he was notorious for texting you back as he was driving, not wanting to leave you waiting for long. You decide to wait until after the shower you so desperately needed.

-

You wrap your hair in a towel and throw on your previously laid out pajamas. You fan your face so your moisturizer can dry as you go to grab your phone off the charger. No texts from Choso, surprisingly. He usually always texted you when he got home.

‘just checking in, how you feeling??🤢’

You can’t even close your phone before a loud ding! echoes in your room.

-

The ride home was excruciating. Now that he knew there was a way to take care of things, he felt helpless not being able to now. At this point, he still didn’t even really understand how to… ‘stimulate the nerves’ - that could mean anything. The knowledge he had now plays on repeat in his mind as he pulls up to his apartment. He checks his phone - it reads a too-bright 9:33.

He goes inside and immediately lays on the couch, not having the energy to go upstairs just yet. He forced himself to sleep. He knew texting you would make him think of the way you smelled earlier, the way you were so suddenly all over him, how your chest pressed into him when you hugged him like you usually do.

It only made matters worse that he dreamed of you - his aching, throbbing problem seemed to be worse now that he refused to take care of it earlier. He rubs his eyes, reaching for his phone to see you texted him about thirty minutes ago.

‘I’m good! Just needed to lay down, sorry I didn’t text you!! I fell asleep when I got back😴🥱’

‘It’s okay bestie!!! Do you feel better now?’

‘Yeah a little bit! Thank you for talking to me earlier’

‘Sorry if it was weird’

‘ohmygooooooddddd dude I told you it wasn’t weird! I’m always down to talk about whatever silly butt’

‘I knowwww🤓I just felt awkward but I didn’t know who else to ask’

‘It’s okay I promise. Do you have any other q’s? Might make you feel less awkward yk’

‘Mayyyybe😟’

‘I’m waiting🙂‍↕️’

Your response made him anxious - he felt like he’d been hard for hours at this point. He knew it had something to do with you, though it was difficult to admit. He had always looked at you fondly, sneaking glances when you weren’t looking, finding reasons to come over, staying up late just to talk on the phone. But he was so new to everything he had no idea on how to take things further, if you even wanted to.

He did want to learn more about you, though - like he always did.

‘do you touch yourself?’

You did not expect him to ask anything like that. He was usually so innocent and coy. It could have been genuine curiosity, although your stomach was telling you something else.

‘ummmmm yes sometimes🤔why’

He did not expect your answer, either. Not that he thought you wouldn’t - you obviously knew enough about it to teach him well. But he also didn’t think you would, maybe he was even hoping you wouldn’t. Knowing that you do made him feel like he could combust.

‘I was just curious!! sorry if that was too far’

He types the message quickly, locking his phone before he headed upstairs. He was determined to learn more - he was so hard at this point it was hurting. He couldn’t keep his mind clear from the lewd depictions of you sprawled out for him so pretty.

He sits into his computer chair quickly, logging onto his desktop before he pulls up an incognito tab. He knew that porn was out there, but he wanted actual educational material.

-

It’s been only fifteen minutes and he feels like he's discovered an entirely new world. He knows even more than he bargained for and he’s seen enough instructional diagrams to last a lifetime. He feels like he has a decent grasp on how to masturbate and even some ways to please others, when that time comes.

He grabs his phone, worried what your response would be to his prying question.

‘no it’s okay! just didn’t expect you to ask but yeah, it can be a great stress reliever!!’

You send the message, hopeful you didn’t sound to forward.

He receives it and the tent in his pant twitches involuntarily. He puts his phone face down on the desk, taking a breath as he attempts to process what you said.

‘also not to change the subject bc we can still talk about whatever, but i really need help on the calc hw🙏😀’

He was too excited at the thought of you so expertly relieving your stress. He imagines you all red faced, panting and falling apart. How sweet you’d sound gasping and whining his name. The thought has him reaching for the waistband of his lose sweats, his long fingers making his abdomen tense when they move further, brushing the trimmed hairs at his base before they just barely wrap around his shaft. He pulls his sweats over his length, gasping at the dry stimulation. His cock springs forward, smacking loudly on his stomach as he winces. He’s been painfully hard for hours now - his angry tip was drooling precum, smearing it underneath his belly button into his happy trail. He grabs himself again, wrapping somewhat firmly around the base of his cock, careful not to squeeze too hard. The diagrams he studied said too much of a grip wasn’t ideal, but too loose wouldn’t provide enough stimulation.

He pulls his hand up slowly, the skin around his tip enveloping the curves of his cock head snugly before releasing it as he moves his hand downwards back to its original position.

‘f-fuck,’ he whines, already overwhelmed by the new sensation. It’s not like he hasn’t felt something similar before - but the new knowledge of what this was, what it led to, left his breath shaky from the anticipation. He moves again, gripping slightly harder as he brings his hand up further than before, almost entirely to the tip as more spurts of his essence leak from his tip to his fingers.

He continues, slowly increasing his pace. Each stroke elicited a noise from him - a gasp or a grunt, and downright pitiful whines that were ripped from the bottom of his lungs. He had never felt so close to nirvana before and he couldn’t help vocalizing* his pleasure as he struggles to keep a steady pace. He tries to stop his mind from drifting, but the snug grip he has on his length as he repeatedly bucks into his hand sends him to a place where every thought is infiltrated with your essence. The way your hands squeeze his shoulder, how the fat of your hips threatened exposure when you wore your favorite pajama shorts, how you were always so warm, how your hair smelled when he hugged you. He reaches his free hand up into his shirt, resting on his heart as he tries to match the erratic beating rhythm with his strokes. He’s nearly crying now, strangled noises leaving his throat so raw and sharp, voice cracking and heaving as he feels an unfamiliar pull in his groin. He’s whining out pitiful cries of your name now in response to the borderline overstimulation of his pretty, weeping cock. Sweat pools on his body as his hips come entirely off the chair to pump messily into his fist, chasing a release he didn’t know he needed.

-

You check your phone again, seeing a message that still read as ‘delivered’. Choso was usually so quick to text you back, almost like he left the screen open to your messages only. You were starting to worry that he may actually be sick with his unusually inconsistent communication. The calculus problem you needed help with was staring back at you on your laptop screen, still waiting to be answered.

You open up your discord to see his status as ‘idle’. However, when you open Skype, you see a little green dot showing he was active in the last hour. Might as well call him here if he didn’t have his phone.

-

Shit. His vision was turning white as he felt every sense in his body ignite before he is lurched back into reality when a familiar chime plays in the background, somehow perceivable over the dull ringing in his ear. The sound is hardly audible behind his pathetic whimpers as he tries to steady his breathing before he answers. He flips his phone over first to see a message from you from a few minutes ago, and he curses a long string of 'fuck, fuck, fuck'.

He answers the call, feeling so stupid for keeping you waiting again. He’s unaware of the state he appears to be in when the webcam turns on, bright desktop light illuminating his red, fucked-out face.

He stutters, still struggling to catch his breath as he wipes the sweat from his brow.

“H- Hi, Hi, y-y/n,” he says, choking out an airy laugh as he puts his head in his hand.

“Were you just -“ you say, putting the pieces together as you take in his image - splotchy, sweat-shined skin, hair stuck slick to his forehead, shaky hands, and bitten, swollen lips. It would explain the inconsistent messaging, the off-kilter questions from earlier, and most importantly, the state he was in now. He was nearly moaning on the call, still too caught up in his obvious state of pleasure.

“I swear, I wasn’t, hah,” he starts, taking a deep breath again as he finds a nearby towel and runs it through his sweaty, disheveled hair, letting out an audible 'fuck' to your surprise - he never cursed in front of you.

“J-Just got back from a run!” He adds with a smile, clearing his throat as he readjusts in his chair.

“I thought you were sick?” You ask, trying to adjust your laptop camera as you sit back into the bed. Choso gasped, barely detected by his webcam mic as your camera twitched downwards in your attempt to reposition. The camera flashed your waist, hugged tightly by your white tank top, which was followed by your full chest, nearly heaving out of the neckline - his breath hitched as he catches a glimpse of your nipples peeking through the thin material. All too quickly the camera is refocused by on your face.

He thought this would make it better for him, having the camera pointed away from your tempting figure. But your clean, soft skin shined so brightly on camera and made him feel like he could melt. He still breathes heavy, trying to find an explanation to your question.

“Yeah, phew - felt like I was getting a fever, wanted to run out the ick, ya’ know?” He says, chuckling nervously after he finishes. He looks down at his gray t shirt, now covered in sweat.

“Gimme’ just a sec’ - gonna change,” he says and you respond with a hesitant ‘okay’. You chose not to tease him although the thought was lingering - he was probably as embarrassed as he’d ever been getting somewhat caught in the act.

He reaches his hand up to his webcam, sliding the privacy shield to your right - only halfway. He doesn’t realize his mistake, his still shaking fingers betraying him. He stands from his desk with a huff, and your hand flies to your mouth as you stifle a gasp. For a brief moment, his pelvis faces the camera before he turns to find a shirt. He’s pulling his sweats up as you’re able to see just a flash of his crotch, light brown hairs decorating his pelvis that come to a head at the end of a sharp, defined ‘v’. In the few seconds, you were able to see a clear outline of his dick pressed firmly into the fabric of his sweats. It looked girthy and he sat so heavy and pretty - the rounded mushroom tip protruding where it rested in the left leg of his pants. There was a darker gray patch near his tip, signaling the problem you’ve suspected him to have since he left your place earlier. He unknowingly continues his show, pulling his ruined shirt over his fluffy hair, flashing his taught abdomen before your very eyes. You could tell he was built under his clothes, and a lot of his time outside of class and hanging out with you was spent in the gym. But the up close viewing on his toned figure was enough to send a heat rushing towards your core as filthy thoughts of him on top of you flash one after the other. He unfortunately turns to find a new shirt, coming back after he finds a white compression tee to smooth over his still damp torso.

He slides the cover left, smiling at the camera with a wave as he announces his return. You clear your throat, trying to refocus your attention to the matter at hand.

“Hey yeah, um - the homework, right. It’s number… 26 on the ‘limits’ assignment,” you explain.

“Read it to me,” he demands, breathing finally stabilized from earlier.

You read the equation, explaining the error you got each time you plugged it into your calculator.

His face lights up, “Oh, yeah! That one was tricky, it’s D though. I’ll explain it in class tomorrow if you want,” he adds, desperate to end the call. While he could look at you eternally, the sensitivity he was experiencing had him nearly ripping the wood from his desk topping with his fingernails.

“Awesome, thank you!” You reply, selecting the correct answer before you minimize the tab, wanting to set the call to full screen for a moment.

“Cho, can I come over tomorrow? I know you said we wouldn’t be able to until Saturday, but I can already tell I’ll be bored tomorrow.”

He’s shocked.

“M-My place? We always go to yours though -,” he answers, glancing around at the state of his room to be met with more of a mess than he remembered.

“Well yeah, but we never go to yours though! Figured it could be fuuunnn,” you add, hoping he doesn’t see right through your real intentions. The intentions you had of ensuring he was taught well, far better than you were able to earlier. You feel as if the dots connected before you - his permanent blushed cheeks he wore so proudly whenever you touched him, the longing look in his eyes as you attempted to explain the basics of self-pleasure, and how frantically he had to leave after said conversation. Even if you were reading into this incorrectly, it would be nothing more than another movie night, which you'd never turn down.

He smiles again, nodding as he says, "You know what? Yeah, yeah that would be fun. Just gotta' tidy up before then," he finishes with a laugh, trying to remind himself that asking you to come over right now might be a step too far.

"Oh you know I don't care Cho, I'll take you however I can get you," you say as you search for the blush you expect to appear - and it does.

"Oh, y/n, he sighs, and the slight desperation in his tone made your stomach drop.

“Um, I know I've already said this today but would you hate me if I got off the call?" He asks, not so subtly seeking your permission. "I need a shower bad, hah," he says, putting emphasis on 'need'.

You give him his sought after permission, waving a quick 'bye' before he does the same, leaving the call with a sigh.

-

You breathe deeply, closing your laptop screen with a huff as you decide to leave the rest of your homework until later. If you had enough sense, you figured Choso was still sat on the other side of his desktop, fingers reaching into his waistband to finish what he had started earlier. You enjoyed the thought, imaging how sweet he'd sound when he found release for the first time.

You knew you had plans to make a move tomorrow, but you didn't want it to fall on deaf ears. If Cho was anything, it was oblivious, you think, remembering the poke of his tummy from earlier when you asked if he had ever touched himself. Bless his heart.

You stand to your dresser, pilfering through the countless pairs of boring underwear and bras to find the stash you usually kept for special occasions. You pulled out a whopping ten pairs of panties, all adorned with different lace patterns, bows, and varying pretty colors. You find two of your favorites - a lacy white pair with a tiny bow on the waistband that's entirely see-through, and a pastel pink thong covered in little hearts. You make sure to grab the matching bras that were thankfully clean. You lay them on the bed behind to you, snapping a quick picture before you return everything to your drawer.

You search through a lower drawer, pulling out two random pairs of shorts and some shirts to match. You quickly throw two outfits together, taking individual pictures of each before you shove everything back into the drawer. You sit back in the bed, snuggling under the covers as you pull up your messages.

‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’

‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’

‘HELLPPP’

‘can’t figure out what to wear for tomorrow❗️’

-

He breathes deeply, steadying himself as he stands to his feet. He still had to finish what he started, and a shower probably wouldn’t hurt with the mess he felt like he might make. He strips his clothes, leaving them in the floor as he makes his way to the bathroom.

He makes sure to bring his phone with him, ringer on and volume fully up. He had missed too many of your messages tonight, and he’d be damned if he missed another. He sits his phone on the nearby shower shelf, double checking the ringer was on.

The hot water quickly fogs the bathroom mirror as he looks down pitifully at his swollen cock, still hard and desperate as it cries for attention. He pictured your sweet face beneath him on your knees, doing the few things he could now imagine clearly. He knew you were the expert between the two of you, and he needed you to be the one to teach him what real pleasure felt like when it was given by your deft hands. He wouldn’t dare think of how sickly sweet it’d feel to rut into your mouth, how earth-shattering it’d be to bully his length deep into the goddess between your legs.

ding!

He’s pulled out of his trance, grabbing his phone with a smile as he sees your contact name shine brightly on the screen. He reads your message, then reads the incoming three, trying not to pick the image with the shorter bottoms - but he truly can’t help himself.

‘ummmmmm lemme think’

‘definitely the second one, the blue is NICE🙂‍↕️’ he responds, trying to sound like a regular person that was not at all interested in how your curves would sneak out of the bottom of your shorts.

He steps into the shower, shoulders dropping at the relaxing warmth. He hasn’t stopped picturing your face since he’s been home, but you so graciously gave him more eye candy to gawk at with the silly slip of your webcam. The low neckline of your top burned bright in his mind as he reaches his hand down again, wrapping his fingers gently around his width, leaving his thumb pressed softly into the prominent vein on the side. He wanted to try to mimic what he thought your touch would feel like - the brief flashes he got of your pretty hands typing away at your keyboard gave him all the information he needed to work with. He started slowly, dragging his large hand up before he thumbed his dripping slit, whining your name immediately at the contact. He pictures you again with your knee sliding up his thigh, hand firm on his shoulder while you whisper what he wishes were sweet nothings. He continues his soft hold as he strokes himself so sweetly, just like how he imagined you would. The pitiful noises he made earlier are now increasing ten-fold, loud whines echoing in the shower as he chases his release. He didn't realize how close he was already from the previous edging session he just brutally experienced. His cockhead was spitting now, the over-abundance of precum falling in stringy lines to the shower floor. He feels the pull in his groin again, so much quicker than he did last time, and it’s like he knew this was it.

It’s almost like you did, too.

‘ding! ding! ding!’

‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’

‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’

‘but you’ve gotta help me pick the full fit Cho🖤’ you send, internally squealing as you put your phone face down on the bed, forcing yourself to not look at the time he reads the message.

-

He stills his movements slightly, maintaining your his soft grip, reaching with his free hand to his phone, careful not to soak it as he brings it into the shower. The screen recognizes his face instantly, giving him a sneak peek of the lewd images you so graciously sent him as he feels his heartbeat in his ears - his heart rate increases so dramatically, he sees each pump of blood in the outskirts of his field of vision. He pauses for a moment, tightening the grip on his cock before he starts pumping furiously, nearly drunk on the pleasure as he whines breathy cries of your name. He opens the message and his jaw falls open, his pathetic cries of ‘please’ ‘more’ and ‘baby’ reverberating off the shower walls. In a fleeting moment, his balls clench tight to his pelvis and the pressure he felt pooling in his groin now snapped as his hips lurch forward, painting the shower floor white all for you as he tries to stabilize himself by holding onto the wall. He looks down through his almost blacked vision, surprised at the sheer volume of fluid he felt was being ripped from him. He kept cumming even after his hand had stilled, sharp jerks of his cock overstimulating him with each searing hot pump of liquid. He finally finishes with heavy breaths that threaten to turn into cries as he remembers the messages you sent him.

In his daze, he finds his phone wet in his hand as he rushes for his towel, wiping the screen quickly. Your messages still waiting to be answered that were sent a whole… 4 minutes ago.

‘y/n’

‘thank gou’

‘um’

‘areyou really asking me topick?,?’

Thank you? Was he drunk?

‘thank you?’

‘and yes dummy I’m asking you to pick :P’

And his heart quickens again.

‘thank you for sending me that’

‘I likeit a lot’

‘sorrymy pgones wett’

‘the pink one. please.’

He responds, making sure to type the last message clear as day.

‘why is your phone wet you nasty??’ you respond, laughing to yourself at his tangible nervousness that was apparent even via text.

‘showerrrrr’

‘and I don’t even get a pic back? wowww’ you respond, trying to see just how far you could take this before you head to bed for the night. You expect him to respond with a message filled with emojis as he skirts the question.

He finishes his shower quickly, unwilling to ruin his phone in an attempt to take a shower selfie. He steps out and dries off in a hurry, finding a nearby pair of jogging pants as he rushes back to his bedroom, hair dripping cold water down his back.

‘[Attachment: 1 Image]’ *

The warmth between your thighs grows as you selfishly save the image to your camera roll. You expected anything but his forward response - compared to the previous dearth of knowledge of how he looked under his clothes, you felt like he had sent you straight-up pornographic material.

‘you really outdid me, Cho’

‘who knew you were hiding all that?’

‘I’ll have to think of a way to repay you tomorrow 🖤 you’re so good to me’ you dote, knowing his affinity for praise.

He blushes, smiling hungrily as he types his response, wincing at the feeling when his half-hard cock jumped in response to your words.

‘i literally can’t wait’

pt. 2 coming

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Y'all want to see me go insane? No?

Okay so, Bumblebee and Megatron. Specifically TFP/Aligned Continuity Bumblebee and Megatron. The ones that kill each other. Those ones.

I have gone Insane thinking about them.

TFP ends with the two of them killing each other. They were inside each other's heads at one point. Megatron ripped out Bumblebee's voice box. Bumblebee tore the Spark extractor directly from Megatron's fingers. Let me reiterate the first point, They have both been killed and resurrected. They were both Dead but now they're not. They were a corpse but then they got better.

That's not all. In ALC canon, they have been dead more than once!! Both of them!! In Fall of Cybertron the game, Megatron gets crushed by Metroplex then resurrected with some dark energon and Bumblebee gets SHOT IN THE CHEST BY MEGATRON. the one in tfp wasn't the first time in canon, no no no, the exact same scenario happens on more than one occasion- Go read the wiki, I am not kidding you. War for & Fall of Cybertron are a part of the same universe as TFP, fact check me I dare you. Yes it is convoluted, but they're all in the same universe.

I... am loosing it... slowly... painfully...

I can't stop thinking about them. Out of every Universe with a Bumblebee and a Megatron, TFP/ALC is the only one where the beef they have is truly personal. Most TF Universes, Megatron and Bumblebee's relationship is hostile but not personally driven. If they had to, they could exist in the same room without any obvious issues. TFP/ALC, on the other hand, I think they hate each other on a personal level. I think if they had to exist in the same room, they would either spend the entire time arguing like 6-year-olds or brutally murder each other in a violent blood bath. And everything in between. I do not think they could be normal with each other to save their lives. You guys think TFO Bumblebee and Megatron's tragically fractured friendship is good (you're right, btw, very good) May I introduce: TFP Bumblebee and Megatron's Deeply Personal Beef!! It's objectively funnier! Bc they kill each other!

I wrote this line down a few months ago, I feel it accurately summarizes what I'm trying to say:

Optimus is living in Megatron’s mind rent free but Bumblebee keeps breaking in and stealing the radiator.

Quick Context Section because things written below needs some extra info to make at least a little sense.

I know I listed all the things these two have done to each other, but Bumblebee barely did anything bad to ol' Megsy. From what i've listed Bumblebee just annoys Megatron - then he kills him. And I'm saying they've both done horrible things to each other. And I am right, they have committed atrocities, but Bumblebee's are just never brought up in the show, at least explicitly.

So, we know that Bumblebee is a Scout in TFP/ALC canon and he is described as a pretty good one at that. Quote from the wiki, "...made [Bumblebee] an excellent scout and messenger...".

So what makes a good Scout. Well, according to the US Army, Scouts gather information about the enemy and the battlefield for the infantry. They are the "eyes and ears" of an army. Quote, "An Army Cavalry Scout may engage the enemy in the field, track and report enemy activity, as well as direct the employment of weapon systems." They are sometimes described as “the first line of defense for Army units” and "...are considered “jacks of all trades” for their ability to perform multiple combat roles in the Infantry Division." Link if you want to read more, very good resource for fics.

With all this context, since Bumblebee was an Excellent Scout, we can assume he has been Fucking over the Decepticon cause for YEARS. Megatron probably knew about Bumblebee before he actually met him. He probably knew Bumblebee as the Autobot Scout that had crippled his organization over and over again. Oh, He probably HATED Bumblebee, even if he didn't know who he was or what he looked like.

Alright, I've given context, back to the spiral.

Imagine their relationship/interactions in TFP/ALC from either of their perspectives.

Megatron

On Megatron's side, this Autobot scout has been fucking up your operations for years. We're talking hundreds of outposts, supply lines, and missions, all gone because of this one fucking scout. He even fucks up your All spark retrieval mission, so you rip his throat to shreds, leaving him to die there. You don't really think about the scout after that, you're more focused on Optimus. But then, a few weeks later, you get reports that that fucking yellow autobot scout is somehow alive and fucking up your stuff! He survived getting his throat shredded. Apparently, that's a non-fatal injury nowadays. Back in your day, getting your throat torn up killed you, and you liked it!

The war goes on, Cybertron is dead and your organization is packing its bags and relocating. Right before you leave, you attack the Autobots base one last time. Maybe you can strand them on Cybertron, leaving them to starve on this dead planet. During the fight, you just get fucking BODIED by Metroplex, killing you. You are dead. Not long after this, we're talking like a week max, Soundwave manages to resurrect you with this shit called dark energon. Cool stuff, you'll keep it in mind for later. You intercept the autobots as they are leaving cybertron, hoping to wipe them off the map before you leave. Now you and Optimus, your eternal opponent, are fighting. You fire your cannon at Optimus, a killing blow, but then that same yellow autobot scout from earlier jumps in the way, saving Optimus and killing him instead. Then both yours and the autobot's ships get sucked into a space bridge, prematurely ending your fight with Optimus. This of course pisses you off, but now you've finally gotten rid of that fucking scout for good. Finally, thought he would never leave.

You send the Decepticons to this random planet that has a ton of energon on it, both stashed and raw, and you go off to find out more about this Dark Energon stuff. Time passes, You've found the mother load of Dark Energon and you return to the Decepticons. This Dark Energon shit is kinda wild, apparently it's Unicron's Blood. You decide putting it in your body is a great idea, and it is because now you're super powerful. Now you're gonna throw a whole bunch of Dark Energon at Cybertron and resurrect all the dead cybertronians to fight for you. So you get the space bridge open, then you see that the Autobots are on the space bridge. Optimus is there. Rematch time :). As the Autobots retreat, you see the Autobot scout, the same bright fucking yellow Autobot scout you killed back on Cybertron (you saw his dead body, kinda hard to miss that) is somehow ALIVE. AGAIN. What is it going to take- that does not matter right now, your undead army is almost here- fucking space bridge blew up, COME ON!!

Now, you're in a coma. You don't know this till one day, you're fantasizing about killing Autobots when suddenly that fucking Yellow Scout shows up. Inside your brain. While you're in a coma. What. The fuck. He's looking for the antidote for some virus you made years ago. Apparently, Optimus caught it (ha, cringe). You taunt him with it a bit but then he just fucking leaves, without warning, so you follow him into his brain. Wasn't the best plan (you just left your body to starscreams devices) but you're rolling with it. You figure out how to take over the scouts body who's fucking up who's shit now fucker!, find some dark energon and resurrect it. The yellow scout tries to stop you the whole way, of course he does, but you are successful, and now you are fully restored. Magnificent. The war goes on, the scout keeps fucking existing but hasn't directly fucked something up. Yet. You see him driving around right before Unicron shows up, and you take a nice potshot at him for fun. He deserves it. He gives you a particularly nasty look when you're in the Autobot base later. Apparently, you hurt his little human friend when you shot him. Even fucking better. One day your team finds the Spark Extractor, a wicked powerful device that could fuck the autobots up nice and good. You are personally bringing it back to base when out of fucking nowhere the YELLOW SCOUT JUST FUCKING YOINKS IT! Right from your hand! That Bitch!

Then later, you figure out how to resurrect Cybertron. Fucking sweet. But first, you decide you want to get rid of earth by cyberforming it. Earth, which is also Unicron. You forgot about that part but that's not important. You have your reasons for wanting to fuck earth up first and resurrect your home planet second, and you are sticking to them. And the Autobots come to stop you, as they do. You're fighting Optimus and the two of you get knocked down onto the Omega Lock. You keep fighting. Suddenly that Yellow fucking Scout is jumping down to give Optimus the Star Saber. And you Can Not let that happen. You're not letting this fucking scout fuck up your shit anymore. So as he's jumping, you fire your cannon directly at him. Several shots hit him directly in the chest. He goes down, falling into the Omega Lock with the Star Saber. He is finally fucking dead, you watched the light fade from his spark (you shot his chest open). The yellow fucking thorn in your side is finally dead. For good. You fight Optimus some more, you get the upper hand, you have Optimus at your mercy and you are about to end your eternal battle once and for all. Suddenly, random fucking voice behind you calls your name. You turn around. Bam, Star Saber in your chest. All the way through. You fall to your knees and grab the sword. You are dying. You look up to see the one who finally bested you, and see the fUCKING YELLOW SCOUT YOU JUST KILLED! HIS CHEST IS STILL A GAPING WOUND oh look it closed up. WHAT THE FUCK!?? THREE TIMES YOU ATTEMPTED TO KILL THIS BITCH, TWO OF WHICH ACTUALLY DID KILL HIM, BUT HE GOT BETTER EVERY TIME??? Your spark fades out, the dark energon in your body can't save you this time. You are dead.

Suddenly you're alive. Unicron has stolen your body and is torturing you inside your own head. It's horrible. When Unicron is finally defeated and you're free from him, you no longer wish to fight for control of cybertron. Having been put through the torments of Unicron, you are broken, and no longer wish to be an oppressor. The irony of this scenario is lost on you. You fuck off to go die in a hole somewhere. The end.

Bumblebee

On Bumblebee's side, you have felt the effects of Megatron's and Optimus's war your whole life. Once you're big enough to shoot a gun you join the Autobot cause as a scout. You run many missions for the Autobots; gathering intel on Decepticon troops, supply lines, bases, fucking with anything mentioned previous, all that good stuff. You're pretty good at this, in fact, you're one of the best scouts the Autobots have. So when Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, manages to snatch you up and make you his personal scout, you're not surprised. Of course, Optimus wants to have the best of the best in Fucking With His Ex on his team. Then the mission to get the All Spark off of Cybertron rolls around, and you're right on the front lines. You had been running around doing something, can't really remember what, when you get caught by the Decepticons. Megatron is personally interrogating you. What did you do to deserve this honour? You don't spill anything to them; of fucking course you don't, what do you take you for, a snitch? Snitches get stitches, as the saying goes. Megatron does rip your throat to shreds though. That's bullshit, you're kinda dying right now but that's still bullshit. Luckily, you are saved by a medic, though you can't speak anymore, voice box got totalled and no one has the resources to rebuild it. You can communicate, though it is limited. That sucks, you liked your OG voice a lot, actually. You're back on the field pretty quick after that, can't sit still to save your life, and enacting your sweet sweet revenge on ol' Megsy. Hopefully this is the worst thing that will happen to you.

Eventually, Cybertron dies and the Autobots are getting out of dodge. The Decepticons try a couple times to stop you. You heard that Megatron died at some point, but he showed up in person a bit later, so it was probably just wishful thinking. During the last fight as everyone was leaving on their ships, you were making your way across the Autobot ship to repair a fuse for Ratchet in the engine room when you see Megatron about to off Optimus with his cannon. You react on instinct and jump in front of your leader, taking the shot meant to kill him. You're dying and it's Megatron's fault, again. Very rude of him to do something like this a second time. The last thing you're aware of is Optimus and Megatron starting to fight again before you die completely.

Suddenly you're alive. By some fucking miracle, you came back from the dead. No one knows how, maybe it was the medics, maybe it was Primus, maybe it was spite, but you somehow came back to life. Suck it, Troni-boy! The score's 2-0, can't kill you! You learn that the ship got sucked through the space bridge and now the autobots need to find a new home base. They find this random planet that should have some energon stashes on it and the scans pick up some raw energon as well. You are sent first to scout it out. You make contact with the closest governing body, get a nice agreement made, and team prime sets down on this planet called earth.

Life goes on, the decepticons show up at some point, though no one's seen hide nor hair of Megatron hope he he died in some ditch somewhere. Then Megatron shows back up fucking COME ON one day with some wild shit called dark energon and things get fucking weird. He gets blown up (ha, cringe) and you move on. Later you find out he's not dead (aGaIN) and now you have to go inside his brain to find the cure to the cybonic plague. Fucking yay. Yes, you willingly volunteered to do this, but you can still complain; it's Megatron, he ripped out your voice box, he killed you that one time, he smells like beans. So you get in, and you find Megatron's conscious, you talk to him, he taunts you with the cure, Ratchet takes a screen shot, and you get out of there. Mission done and duste- Megatron's inside your head now. Fuck. He forcefully takes over your body, which is.. fucked up, to put it mildly, and he manages to get his own body up and running. Fucking cool, good for him, you're still dealing with having your body stolen from you and moved against your will. What did you do to make the universe hate you so much? Like honestly, you must have been a real bitch in your past life for all this to happen to you. Later on, for no reason, he shots you as you're driving with Raf. This seriously hurts Raf, the Dark Energon messing with his body... This. BITCH! Megatron just keeps fucking with your life. At this point, it's fucking personal! One day, the Decepticons manage to get their hands on the Spark Extractor, which is very bad news for the Autobots. As Megatron is taking it back to their base, you manage to race after him and yoink it from his fingers. You are very proud of this stunt, and Megatron's face was priceless. Felt pretty good about that one, yes you did. Rub it in the bitch's face, why don't you. You deserve it.

The Decepticons figured out how to resurrect Cybertron. They're going to cyberform Earth first, for some reason. Even though Earth is Unicron- that's not important. What's important is that the Decepticons need to be stopped. So everyone's fighting, Optimus and Megatron have fallen down onto the Omega Lock and Optimus dropped his sword up on the main deck. You run and grab the Star Saber and start making your way down to Optimus. As you jump, Megatron fires his cannon directly at you. You take three fatal shots to the chest. You are dying. You fall down into the Omega Lock, struck with a distinct feeling of deja-vu. Your spark fades out, you are dead. Suddenly you're alive again. You wake up in the blue goo of the Omega Lock. You don't know what's happening, but you grab the Star Saber and get to the surface. You see Megatron about to kill Optimus. You move on instinct, making your way across the goo, jumping up onto the platform with the Star Saber. You call Megatron's name, distracting him just long enough for you to plunge the Star Saber into his spark. The world stops. You feel the enormous gaping hole in your chest close up. You tell Megatron he'll never hurt anyone like he hurt you again. He slides off the Star Saber and falls into Earth's atmosphere, dead. Megatron is finally fucking gone. You fucking did it. Also, your voice got fixed by the magic goo. Not a bad day, all things considered.

A while later, Megatron just randomly shows up again, though he's possessed by Unicron. Bitch, who cares who you are, you're supposed to be dead! You killed him! Why can't the universe let you have one fucking thing?! One thing!! You and your team take care of Unicron and Megatron, now back in control you'd prefer if he left with Unicron, says that after having been put through the torments of Unicron, he is broken, and no longer wishes to be an oppressor. The irony of this scenario is probably not lost on you, though we can't see your reaction. He fucks off and no one talks about any of this ever again. You get a second show, so not The End got you.

The oppressor lines are (mostly) copied from the wiki, because I couldn't have said it better myself.

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Have Y'all actually read Bumblebee at Tyger Pax? Because I just did, and the actual malice I felt from Bumblebee was a wild experience no fic prepared me for. Here's a few quotes just to set the tone.

“You going to go solo with Megatron and whoever else is with him?” “I sure am,” Bumblebee said.

“Sorry to ruin your plans there, Megatron,” he said. “Barricade couldn’t make it. He’s out on the side of the road to Tyger Pax. He said something about an ambush, but I couldn’t make all of it out because I was too busy beating him into the ground.”

“You?” Megatron said. “This barely formed mecha, animated by the dregs of the Well? You kept the AllSpark out of my reach?” “Yeah,” Bumblebee said. “Me.”

There were so many more moments, Bumblebee is a fucking menace every second he's in this thing. Megatron's anger was very justified. His actions? Eh, not so much, but his anger? Absolutely. I don't know if I would be able to hold myself back in Megatron's shoes. Please go read it; it is actually buck fucking wild.

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Do you know what's even crazier? I don't know if the writers intended to do this but Bumblebee and Megatron are kinda similar, character wise. Let me lay it out for you.

Bumblebee:

Has a pretty hot temper - Gets angry or frustrated very quickly (Shown in S1E23, S2E30, S2E31, S3E10)

Is a very skilled fighter - (Various episodes, Best example S3E5)

Is impulsive/acts before thinking - (Various episodes, best example S2E5)

Is a good strategist and negotiator (Shown in Predacons Rising)

Is a sassy little bitch - (Shown in Predacons Rising)

Will do anything for the ones he cares about (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S1E24)

Likes racing/driving (Shown in S2E30)

Megatron:

Has a very hot temper - Gets angry very very quickly (Various episodes, Best example S1E14)

Is a very skilled fighter - was Champion of the Gladiatorial Ring (Various examples, Best Example S1E26)

is impulsive/acts before thinking (Various episodes, Best Example S1E2)

is a good strategist and negotiator - Was a politician and career gladiator (Backstory S1E26)

Is a dramatic sassy bitch (Shown in every one of his interactions with Starscream or Optimus)

Will do anything to achieve his goals (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S2E21)

Has no respect for the dead (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S2E21)

If you're wondering why the lists are so sparse, it's because the writers didn't give them any character development the entire show. Yes I have opinions about this but we won't get into that here, this post is long enough already.

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I'm gonna tell you thing's I've noticed during my aggressive thinking about these two.

Bumblebee's not experienced enough to become a warrior yet (S1E6), but he's also waiting to be promoted to do it on Cybertron (S3E5). Now how in tarnation do you go from Absolutely Not Ready to be Promoted to 100% Ready but Waiting in like a year or two max.

I've already pointed this out in this post, but in Predacons Rising, Unicron did to Megatron what Megatron did to Bumblebee in Out of His Head. And I don't know if anyone else actually caught this turning of the tables. Bc it's been driving me crazy since I first watched it.

God, these two had such stunted characters. Megatron could have been so interesting with his backstory, but they just made him secretly evil the whole time. They could have made him nuanced and complex and explored how his past shaped him today, but no. All we get is evil guy doing evil things bc evil. And Bumblebee had the opportunity to be so compelling with his trauma and experiences but he was just shoved in the background and ignored 70% of the time. In Predacons Rising Bumblebee looked Unicron in the eyes before (supposedly) falling into a pool of molten metal. He literally did the "I Will Face God and Walk Backwards Into Hell." This super compelling character trait is barely communicated in TFP.

Bumblebee killed Skyquake and Megatron killed Dreadwing. Skyquake and Dreadwing are twins. This probably isn't anything but I thought I would point it out.

Megatron's gun looks stupid. I don't have anything else to say. Look, I couldn't fit this anywhere else, and I had to say it somewhere. It's the size of his arm and it's just stuck on top it looks so fucking stupid-

God, I wanted Bumblebee to experience consequences. For killing Skyquake specifically, why did Dreadwing declare revenge on Autobots as a whole? He knew it was Bee, why not specifically try and get revenge on him. The writers leaned heavily on Starscream killing Cliffjumper; why didn't they do it for Bumblebee and Skyquake? I was fucking blue-balled, I swear.

Megatron's about face at the end of Predacon's Rising was a... choice for his character. He was exactly the same as he was in TFP at the start of the movie but after some torture he's decided to change his ways. I would have loved to actually have him reflect on his actions, but no. About face or bust, apparently.

(This just turned into me bitching about them...)

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They look similar too. I only noticed this because A: I know Bumblebee's design really well, I've spent too much time staring at it bc it pisses me off for reasons I won't get into here you better fucking BELIEVE I have my reasons and B: My siblings got me a TFP Megatron toy and I was staring at it for some reason. Fucking look at this

look at this shitty gif I made (did y'all know you can make gifs with the desktop version of Powerpoint???) Megatron is orange and Bumblebee is blue. Their body shapes are scarily similar, and yes the poses are helping a bit, but they still look waaaaayy to similar for me to say this was an accident. And they have the purple and yellow contrasting colours thing happening. Look at their feet, both of them have a little spike pointing up around their ankles. Both their guns sit on top of their hands instead of replacing them. Their chests, their waists, their hips, their legs, why are they the same fucking shape?? I can't tell if I'm making some of this up, because I just keep seeing shit! I feel like a fucking conspiracy theorist rn.

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I just keep thinking about these two in TFP and all the issues with them in the story, and it feels like I’ve found the fractured skeleton of some long-dead story in the foundations of the show. Not the whole skeleton, just a couple spine fragments, maybe a part of a rib bone, maybe a part of the leg, oh and also the

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This means legitimately nothing but in one of the Ask Megatron things the Whatever Network did, when asked "Which Autobot do you like best?" Megatron says "My favourite Autobot is Bumblebee. We drink tea in my garden every tch- What kind of question is that, do you even watch the show??" Am I fine? Fucking probably but it doesn't feel like it.

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A Collection of Posts That Have Done Nothing But Make Me Worse.

Megatron in RID2015

TFP Bumblebee's Character Issues

Partial Shit post but speaking truth in the first two points

This is how I want them to talk to each other

The Yoinking Post

Pick Youre Fighter

General Post but god please

Another General post am I ok

*Writhing on the floor* General post

hmmmm Megatron about-face reasoning good

he fuckin grabs him then throws him so hard + me w/ss

See? See? I'm not the only one who wants them to hate each other

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EDIT: I FOUND MORE STUFF I HAVE MORE PROOF https://youtu.be/t2iv4S9oYl8?si=2bcb-ssfle87RWVL

That shove that shove so much malice he wanted to do that soooo bad

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My brain is consumed with random thoughts of these two. Would you like to hear them?

idfkam

They are the same kind of person. That's partially why they hate each other so much. That and the atrocities.

I just want to handcuff them together and see what happens.

I was scrolling through ao3 and there's so many fics ab Bumblebee being super afraid of Megatron and Megatron being abusive. And that? That is boring, and therefore, cringe. Put them on equal ground. No more power imbalance, they killed each other, they get to stand as equals now. Let Bumblebee call Megatron a slur, it would be funny.

If they were human, their names would be Ben (Benjamin) and Mark (Markus). Just the vibes. Also, both of them are gay.

For some fuck all reason, I see these fuckers with cowboy aesthetics. Like in RID15, Bee likes cowboys, so obviously human him would wear cowboy hats+boots, jeans, and a huge fuck-off belt buckle, but I just can't stop imagining Megatron in jeans, cowboy boots, and a bolo tie. He's already got boot cut legs, just complete the look.

So we know Bumblebee was born after the war started, or at least around that time. What if, he was also born into the gladiatorial pits, just like Megatron. But the Pits as an organization collapsed a bit after he was born, so he never actually experienced them. He does have a very similar build to Megatron, as we've established. Might be a fun parallel. Just an interesting idea, thought I'd share it. A headcanon to pull from this is Megatron had door wings when he was small, but they got removed while he was in the pits. Second headcanon: Bumblebee is supposed to be larger but lack of energon when he was growing stunted his height.

I can't get a scene where they physically fight out of my head. Not an actual to-the-death fight, just slapstick nonsense. Or a cage match, I would take a cage match.

Bumblebee doesn't hold any grudges against anyone, no matter how much they've done. He's the kindest mech Cybertron has ever had, he can make friends with anyone. He has one exception though: Megatron. Because he deserves a little treat.

my god... they are mirror reflections of each other. They easily could have turned out like the other if circumstances were different. oh my goooood, SG Bee acts like young Megatron, and SG Meg acts like old Bumblebee, I'm having an aneurysm...

They're like feral cats in a fight.

"if they hate each other so much why don't they just kill each other again?" Well you see, they can't. Not because laws or social expectations mean anything to them, no, they are each other's enrichment. Think about it, two mother fuckers who grew up fighting for their lives every single day; do you think civilian/incarcerated life is enough for their Survival-coded brains? No, they need some additional stimulation so they don't go insane. Megatron is a shell of his former self, just hardcore depressed day in day out. However when he's around Bumblebee that spark for life comes back, just because he hates Bumblebee that much. Bumblebee is teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown every day, his brain has no idea how to cope with peace. But when he sees Megatron, he has a release for all this pent-up energy that won't go away because he hates Megatron that much. So they can't kill each other, if they did they would fall apart within the month.

I think comparing TFP/ALC Bee and Meg to the other TF Universes is very thought-provoking. Bc in every other universe (to my knowledge), it was always either Optimus or some Prime-adjacent guy who did Megatron in, but never a Bumblebee (or the universe's equivalent). This is the only universe where this set of events happens. And I find that so fascinating. What would the other universes' Megatron think of how this one was defeated? What would the Bumblebees think? Would the Megatrons regard TFP/ALC Megatron in a negative light or a positive one? Would the Megatrons treat TFP/ALC Bumblebee any different than their Bees or would they be more cautious around him. Would the Bumblebees be excited for their counterpart or feel pity for all he had to go through? Oh I just want to have a TF/TF Crossover SO BAD but there's no easy way to find them please tell me if yall know about any TF/TF crossover stuff I am desperate I want to compare universes like pretty rocks.

Imagine with me, a room. It's a big room. In this room are every Megatron and every Bumblebee (+ any others you want). Most are just standing or sitting around, quietly observing something or ignoring that same thing. The room is not quiet, the air is filled with the sounds of an angry screaming match. Three Bumblebees and three Megatrons are engaged in a very heated argument. If you're confused about which ones this would be, read the goddamn post again. Or go read their wiki pages.

I know I just spent the last couple hundred words raving about how good it would be if they hated each other, but what if they got along. Hear me out, they just click with each other. The atrocities? Water under the bridge, bestie, let's go get lunch. They're such good friends it scares everyone else. Everyone knows what happened between them, and seeing them act like nothing happened is the freakiest thing they have ever experienced.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What if Megatron and Bumblebee were related. I'm not talking about being brothers or being father and son, no no no no NO. I want them to be Cousins. Their parents were siblings, one had a kid (Bee) much MUCH later in life and the other had one (Meg) at the normal time. Human or Bot, does not matter, I just need them to be cousins.

They don't figure this out till after the war has ended. After they've killed each other. This is the worst news of their lives. How would you feel if the person you hate most in the world shared your genetics. And to add insult to injury, they have to play nice with each other. Megatron has to help get the Decepticons in line and Bumblebee is the new face of the Autobot cause thank you optimus, so they have to be polite and cordial to each other so a second war doesn't break out. Yes they hate it. Yes it's extremely funny. They're forced to be in fucking council meetings and work on reintegration policies together, they hate every fucking second of them. And it was good for PR to reveal their familial connection, so now they have to act like they at least tolerate each other for the news outlets, going on family outings and shit. Oh, they hate it. Behind closed doors, they are so fucking annoying, they argue like fucking children. It's the "I'm not even touching you" kind of arguments, that's how bad it is. They're both full grown adults, they're fucking war veterans, and they argue over stolen pens.

I can't get this scene out of my head: Post War. Bumblebee gets a shirt; human or bot, it does not matter, logistics of bot-sized clothing be damned, that says "The Thirteenth Prime is My Ex Cousin In Law." He wears it specifically in meetings when Megatron is present. He doesn't call attention to himself, just goes about his day as normal with this shirt on. Here is a scene from one of the Cybertron's Reconstruction meetings. Open in stereotypical meeting room. Everyone files into the room and takes a seat. Bumblebee is one of the last into the room, everyone notices his shirt. No one says anything and Bumblebee sits down. The meeting begins. Optimus is very pointedly not looking at Bumblebee, only looking at him when he speaks - and even then, he's only looking at his eyes. Ratchet can't stop giggling. Every time he composes himself even a little, he takes one look at Bumblebee and loses it all over again. Megatron is contemplating making a run for it. Everyone keeps glancing between him and Bumblebee's shirt, and he hates it. He's slowly been sliding down in his seat the entire meeting, and soon he'll end up on the floor. Yes, Bumblebee is proud of this, why wouldn't he be?

They're Both the Gay Cousin

AUS

Two Words. Body. Swap. I have so many different Iterations of this story in my head, but two things remain the same: Bumblebee and Megatron swap bodies after Sick Mind, and they're both PISSED about it. Megatron gets the bare minimum in upgrades, so Bumblebee is dealing with his stupid, barely optimized body + dark energon. Bumblebee deals with all his issues silently, so Megatron is dealing with years of unaddressed chronic pains + a fucked up voice box. If they're stuck somewhere together, they force the other to follow the routines they take with their OG body. Neither of them knows how to drive the other's alt-mode. No one on either team really notices any changes bc they're so good at acting (they know each other so well and they're so similar no one can tell the difference-) In the end, they come to an understanding about the other they never had before, but they still vehemently hate each other. This has gone through so many iterations, a single episode length version, a whole season length version, the rest of the goddamn show length version, I can't stop thinking about them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

*opens my trench coat* Hey kid, you want some Dark Energon Bumblebee? The entire thing is "Bumblebee gets infected by dark energon and Megatron gets kinda parasocial about it." Obviously, there's nuance and shit, but that's the gist of it. So in Out of His Head, Megatron gets a second piece of Dark Energon fucking somehow, fuck if I know how yet, and wants to use both to resurrect his body. Bumblebee manages to get control of his own body back just before Meg can get the second shard in and puts the shard in his own body. Bla bla bla angst ensues, but, Silver Lining: Bee can now tangle with Megatron one on one. Free emotional release therapy ;). And because Megatron is fucking weird and thinks fighting is a normal way of socializing, he gets attached to Bumblebee. (Bee not on battlefield) Where's my new fighting buddy :-:? He's so fucking weird. They still hate each other btw, Megatron just expresses his emotions weird bc he's lonely. Obviously, there's more story, but I'm working on turning this one into an actual written work, and I'm still working out the plot points. It's very slow, I'm still in the (very)rough draft stages, but maybe when it's done, I'll post it (bc I want something I make to be 100% before I post it.)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Ok, but imagine if either of them got stuck in the other one's head at the end of Out of His Mind. And now they're stuck together forever. I think I read a post ab if Megatron had been stuck in Bumblebee's head during tfp (i can't find it someone give it to me). The whole bit is the two of them are just immensely annoying when they're stuck. Just constantly pissing the other off, bc it's all they can do.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So, I'm pretty sure the only way these two chucklefucks would be normal with each other is if they met outside of the war, when both of them were younger. Just imagine it, there's no war, so no one is dead or insane, and Bumblebee and Megatron meet somehow. You could do the cousins thing and have some Cybertronian CPS Workers show up like "hey this kid's parents just died and you're this kid's last living relative, would you be able to care for him?" and then shenanigans ensue. Or you could have Optimus meet Bee first and then introduce Bee to Meg somehow, and then the two just become friends that way. The only constant I have is they are each other's biggest enablers and biggest haters(affectionate). They're like siblings, the chaos that would ensue. Bumblebee somehow convinces Megatron to get his silver colour scheme changed to bright fucking purple. Megatron teaches Bumblebee how to fight and win every single time. Megatron picks up Bumblebee's Young Person slang and uses it constantly (he is twice Bee's age). Bumblebee learns how to negotiate like a fucking senator because of Megatron. Can you see it? My visions?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

RID15. Bumblebee & Company find Megatron just hiding out on earth one day, and they are forced to interact. That's it. That's the whole bit. No fighting, just "Oh, great, this bitch is here. I'm not drunk enough for this shit." Wouldn't that be great?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Megatron's consciousness and spark get transferred into a Mini-Con body. His original body was heavily altered by Unicron during the resurrection and is slowly rejecting all the modifications. Bumblebee volunteers to be his guardian/parole officer. Why? Well, no one else wants to watch him, and the two have lots of blackmail history (they've been inside each other's heads. they know things) with each other, Bee'll keep him in line. Everything's about the same with RID15, but mini Meggy is here to make snide comments about everything. He's like an angry cat.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Slightly dumb, but take post-RID15 or post-TFP Bee and throw him back into pre-show MegOP drama. It would be funny. Bee, who knows EXACTLY how all this will play out, has decided chaos is the only option and becomes Meg's and OP's mentor/uncle/friend/thing. He is going to prevent the war if it fucking kills him, and the easiest way to do that is to babysit Megatron. Bumblebee is a jaded gay bitch about the whole thing and priority #2 is enjoying himself, so he says fuck off to decent manners and teaches Megatron every slur he knows. Someone has to show him the ways of "healthy" emotional release and it's gonna be Bee (no one's self esteme is safe, nor is their property.) Somehow, his chaos meddling prevents the war from ensuing (things still fall apart, but the divorce proceedings are uneventful and bloodless)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Take the basic Babee and Dadimus storyline, but substitute in ol' Megsy. And keep it fun. Megatron and Starscream find a sparkling on some random excursion they're on for reasons. The first thing the sparkling does is attack Starscream, who had scared him when he grabbed him. Megatron finds this hilarious and takes the sparkling back to their base. He admires the little bot's hutzpah. He planned to hand the sparkling off to someone, but the little bot wouldn't let go of his arm (Babee didn't want to leave the big bot who saved him from the screechy bot). The sparkling would start furiously fighting anyone else who tried to take care of him, hurting his small frame in the process. Megatron (who's starting to get attached to this small violent menace) is worried for the sparkling's health and agrees to help care for him. As the days go by, Megatron begins to see a bit of himself in the little bot: his stubborn convictions, his violent tendencies, his sass and dramatics. It's kinda starting to grow on him. You know what? He'll keep him around, just for fun. So Bumblebee grows up under Megatron's wing. It's a hilarious dichotomy. The Great and Mighty Megatron, making silly faces at a sparkling to make him giggle. Megatron, the champion of the gladiatorial pits, giving a little yellow bot airplane rides for fun. Megatron giving orders to his troops with a kid on his shoulders. Megatron interrupting an interrogation to praise Bumblebee's drawing. It's hilarious, it's a crime lord and a baby. And when Bumblebee grows up, he's appointed as Megatron's Second in Command/Heir. Megatron taught him everything he knows about leading, he's the perfect choice. He is the pride and joy of (Megatron's spark) the Decepticon cause. (yes Bee is evil now, sshhhhh it's fine)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Does anyone have any age swap stuff, like in general? I can't find anything substantial (there was like one fic?), and I want to see some.

Okay, this has gone two ways in my head. One: Bumblebee is in the Gladiatorial Pits and takes care of small Megatron. Two: Bumblebee is an Instrument of Unicron and Megatron is Unicron's unwilling new host. Here's the run down for both.

One: Bumblebee is the best gladiator in the arena. Megatron is a random fucking sparkling that gets thrown in. Bumblebee immediately goes mama bear mode and protects Megatron from just about everything he can. One day there's an opportunity for Meggy to escape and Bee starts fighing everyone to cover for him. Meggy then gets to meet up with Orion + extras and they get to work to get rid of the gladitorial pits. Meggy doesn't know if Bee's still alive and he's super worried he died without getting to say goodbye. V sad, pain and suffering, angst central with a nice reunion at the end. Idk I was feeling a certain way when I made this one up.

Two: Megatron gets kidnapped by the cult of Unicron and they want to make him Unicron's new vessel. He of course does not want this and fights back. Then Bumblebee shows up to restrain him, bc he's the strongest guy they got. Bla bla bla, monologuing, cosmic horror stuff, I can't word right now. But Bee is sympathetic to Meggy's plight, bc he didn't choose this life either. He was born into it and only knows Unicron. So, in an act of rebelion, Bee runs away with Megatron. Meggy doesn't trust Bee of course, but he is trying to return Megatron to his friends so he'll stick around till then. Bonding ensues. And Angst but mostly bonding.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yes, I repeated myself a lot. Were you expecting originality? After that spiral? God, this is a long post.

[hanaeriin]

蘇枋 ノ LONGING FOR THE HOLY NIGHT.

⋆˙⟡ featuring. god!suo hayato x fem!reader

⋆˙⟡ synopsis. you returned to your hometown with news of your engagement with your long-term fiancé; it was the happiest day of your life. However, everything changes when you encounter a small shrine dedicated to the god who seemed to be infatuated with you, and he seems to have known you ever since childhood...

⋆˙⟡ content. wind breaker (nii satoru) , yandere!suo , potentially ooc , spirited away , kidnapping , mind sensitivity (manipulation) , supernatural , horror.

⋆˙⟡ word count. 2.7k ,, sign up for taglist!! ,, m.list.

⋆˙⟡ note. my longest fic to date...my entry for pixelcafe's spooktober!! you don't want to know how many times I wrote the sentences for this one ahhh...special thanks to my sister, @marizuki for proofreading this!

For how much time has it passed?

Since your arrival, the moon in the sky has remained stationary. Time appears to stand still within the area, but signs of life are still detectable. This strange occurrence begs the question: Who is responsible for this? The person sleeping beside you is the same deity you used to play with during your childhood days. Someone you once considered a friend is the very person who has confined you in this place.

How did this come about? To do that, we must turn back time a few hours...

You returned to your childhood hometown, a modest village in the Japanese countryside where you were raised. You hadn't visited for years, but when you returned to the area, you shared news of your engagement and were pleased with their happiness for you. You let out a disappointed sigh as you realized you were alone, wishing you could have brought your fiancé, but he was busy working on an important project.

“Thinking about him more makes me even more excited to return home now~” you chuckled, a soft blush tinting your cheeks. With a skip in your step, you hummed your favorite tune while sitting on the bus stop's metal bench, leaning against the wall, eagerly awaiting the bus.

“Let's check, when is the upcoming bus scheduled to arrive?” After sitting up, you search for the bus schedule, and when you find it, you let out a surprised gasp, “Woah, not for another hour!?”

In the rural area, it takes approximately fifty minutes to reach the closest train station, with buses operating only every hour. Certainly, being in a secluded location implies there are no establishments, such as cafes or restaurants, where you can relax and pass the time. You wouldn't want to remain there for an extended period when it's bitterly cold outside, especially if you happen to be dressed in thin clothing today. To be truthful, what options do you have while waiting for the bus to come?

“Oh, I know! I can visit the shrine!” you exclaimed when he suddenly came to mind. You should be able to go to the shrine. It was within walking distance after all, and you used to spend a lot of time playing there as a child. You now wonder if he has forgotten about you.

“I hope that Suo has been doing well since I last saw him...” You muttered, picking up your things, and started walking on the roadside. It's been a long time, so it's time to go and visit. Perhaps Suo would be pleased to hear about your engagement.

Upon reaching the shrine, you will find the cherry blossoms in full bloom. At the center stood a small shrine, ancient wooden buildings showing their endurance over time, surrounded by pink cherry blossom petals, creating a beautiful sight.

“Suo!” You shouted his name as you did in your childhood and a gust of wind rustled the cherry blossoms replied. Flower petals gathered in front of the temple and a figure appeared; a young man in a white nagagi kimono, black hakuma, and a dark red haori. One eye was covered by an eyepatch and he flashed you the same smile, asking, “You called?”

Approaching with his hands hidden behind his back, he said, “It has been a while, Dove.”

“Suo! You didn't forget about me?” You had a smile on your face.

“Naturally, I have not. I'm amazed by how beautiful you've become since I last saw you,” He said, tilting his head as the strong wind swept through his long reddish-brown hair tied back in a low ponytail. He appears... extremely heavenly.

“Oh, thank you so much...” You smiled in response to the praise, cheeks blushing as you looked away.

“You never came back, so I thought you'd forgotten about me”

“I could never forget about you! You're my most important friend...”

“Friend, I see...”

You failed to observe his shift in tone and expression when you turned away from him, with your back towards him, “I've been living in the city for a while now, it's been ages since I returned home...”

“I feel somewhat comforted that the town and shrine remain unchanged...” You smiled, evoking memories of your days playing together. How the two of you engaged in various games like hide and seek, tag, and others, practically inseparable whenever possible. One day, when you tried to introduce him to your mother, you realized no one else could see him except you and that he was a god upon seeing your mother's horrified expression.

Since that fateful day, your mother has prohibited you from going to the shrine out of fear that you would be taken away, but you couldn't erase your first love from your memory and decided to sneak there against her will.

You were convinced that your mother was simply concerned because she couldn't see Suo. You trust that he would never kidnap you because of the gentle way he treated you, making it hard to imagine him doing something so ungentlemanly.

“If I may ask, what is the reason for your return?” He gazed at you with kind eyes.

You spun around, your face beaming with joy “I had some big news for my parents and wanted to share it with you too... I'm going to get married!”

“...” He had a puzzled expression as his smile disappeared.

What was the reason for him making that expression? However, his frightening expression quickly disappears, and the familiar smile reappears, “Oh? Congratulations.”

“Um, thank you?” Was it just your imagination? You couldn't tell.

“What does he like?”

“He's a very pleasant man to be with and excels at his job. He always prioritizes my happiness and he is a bit shy, but I adore that quality in him.”

“He sounds like a wonderful person.”

“Haha, yep!” You returned the smile, perhaps it was just your mind playing tricks on you. You were happy to see him acting normally, but then he surprised you by asking “What is his name?”

“His name?”

“I am a god, did you forget that? That is why I can pray for your happiness.”

“Really?! Uh, my name is (name) (surname), and his name is...”

“...(last name) (first name)” He grins with assurance and places his hands in front of your face, blocking your view with them while murmuring, “...You will be happy now” And suddenly, you lose consciousness.

Upon opening your eyes, you immediately realized you were situated under a large, ancient cherry blossom tree. You quickly sat up, scanning your surroundings, but you couldn't spot the shrine nearby. Suo appears before you and confirms that it was not just a dream.

“...W-where are we?”

“A universe exclusively designed for us”

“What are you talking about!?”

At that moment, you recall something your grandmother had told you ages ago.

“Once you are caught in his grip, there is no way to break free because his name is like a spirit. Pay attention, dear child...you should never reveal your name to him, as he is not a human.”

A feeling of shivers traveled down your back as you gazed up at him in fear, “W-Were you the one who just spirited me away?”

“You gave me no other option. Otherwise, you would have returned to that man” He sighed, hands at his back, gazing at the cherry blossoms tree, “It was determined a long time ago that we would wed.”

“You marrying me..?” You gasped with eyes wide open.

“Have you forgotten?” He gave you a confused expression.

Oh, now that he mentioned it, that did bring back some memories, back when you used to promise him that you would marry him in the future. However, the promise lost its significance as you eventually forgot about it. But for him, he could never let go of that memory. Not ever.

“I'll never allow anyone else to have you,” He grinned, causing goosebumps to form on your skin. It was only then that you realized you had mentioned both your and your fiancé's names to him, and you exclaimed, “Did you also spirit him away?!”

“Who?”

“The person I am engaged to!”

“Oh, him? I would not lay a finger on him as long as you are by my side.”

.

.

.

And now we have returned to the present. Looking at where Suo lay peacefully sleeping beside you, with his long eyelashes resting gently on his cheeks and the soft rise and fall of his chest indicating he was in a deep sleep, you saw a chance to slip away.

‘This is my opportunity to escape!’ You stand up silently before hurriedly leaving the shrine to get away. You turned to look at the wooden buildings with a sad expression in your eyes, uttering, ‘I'm sorry, Suo,’ gripping your shirt before swiftly running away to put some space between the two of you.

The silence outside is unsettling, only the sound of your footsteps and panting can be heard. While running, you looked back multiple times to check if anyone was following you, thinking, ‘I need to escape before he notices I'm gone!’ You dashed past numerous torii gates, with only the moonlight illuminating your way, leading you forward until eventually, you spot a glimmer of light.

Oh...!! Finally, you can go back home now! Without hesitation, you jumped straight into the pool of light. The bright light caused a temporary blur in your vision, but it quickly cleared up, revealing only the large Sakura tree in front of you. When you glance back, the Torii gates are no longer in view. It felt like you had suddenly appeared there out of nowhere, causing you to stagger back in shock, “H-How?”

“Dove”

“Eeek!?!”

Upon hearing his voice, you immediately spin around. Suo stood by the tori gate, gazing with disapproval as he asked, “Where have you been? I was searching for you...” His eyes shift towards your shaking form, your face blanching as he suddenly appears in front of you. He held your hand and pulled you close, wrapping his other arm firmly around your waist, asking, “You weren't trying to escape, were you?” Once more, his face displays an identical grin as you remain in his embrace, trembling.

The love of a god is pure and powerful. Escaping such love is not a simple feat.

His arms encircled you while he was asleep, ensuring that you wouldn't escape from him. He lovingly runs his hands through your hair, grinning and saying, “Your hair is incredibly soft.”

“Is that so?” It feels good for some reason, and you are beginning to feel at ease.

“A dove symbolizes peace” He reaches out to you, gently placing his hand on your cheek, looking kind “That's what you are to me... peace”

So, that is the reason he never used your actual name when speaking to you. You didn't pay attention initially when he began using that name, but despite his kind words, you couldn't help but question if he would have taken you away sooner if he had known your real name. You were frustrated with yourself for doubting it any further and revealing it without hesitation. Suo appears to be completely unaware of your emotions as he continues to talk about his past memories.

“As soon as you saw me, you would quickly come running towards me.”

“Is that true?”

“Mhm, you were prone to falling and shedding tears frequently”

“There's no need for you to recall that either!” You blushed and began to stutter as memories you had buried resurfaced, making you wonder if you were such a sensitive child in the past. You can't remember much, but upon reflection, you realize that every time you tripped and fell, Suo was there to lift you. He comforted you, reassuring you not to shed tears while patting your back.

All you can remember are happy memories, you can't recall any bad memories with him at all. Wasn't he always kind to you? He isn't the type of god who would behave in this manner...if you communicate with him, would he comprehend?

“Suo,” you murmured, gazing up at him gradually.

“What is it?” He responded with a questioning expression.

“You're special to me”

“I love you too, (name)”

“If you love me, then please let me go”

He stood motionless, his hand still caught in your hair, gazing at you intently, “Do you... prefer the other world more?”

As your heart beats faster, you remind yourself that you mustn't let fear take over. With the prospect of an eternity here looming, you meet his gaze with resolve and express your feelings quietly. “I wish to return, to be with my fiancé at home. I wouldn't be content staying here.” His lips stayed silent, yet his eyes expanded briefly.

“I'm sorry, but I hope we can remain friends so please don't make me hate-” Just as you were going to end your sentence, you gasped as gentle lips met yours, ‘A kiss?!’ it was a tender kiss that lightly touched your lips. Then he leans in and kisses you more deeply.

He retreats, gazing at you with such fondness yet his eyes look lonely, “No need to speak further. I understand...”

Does he understand your feelings...? What's the deal with that kiss then...

He runs his fingers through your hair once more, “(name), please be happy,” his grin fades as tears flow, he cups your face while you close your eyes tightly and cry. In the next instant, a sudden burst of bright white light dazzles your eyes and before you know it, your awareness begins to fade, “...Hm? "What...?”

Upon waking up, you discovered that you were situated beneath a large cherry tree near the shrine, pondering, “How did I end up here??” You scrutinized your environment, experiencing deja vu as if you'd forgotten something important, wondering if your purpose here was to pray. Your emotions about the situation were a jumble, you have no recollection of anything from arriving until waking up under the tree, “I must have dozed off here by mistake...”

.

.

.

That evening, you returned to the city where you both reside with your fiancé. You were getting dinner ready as you awaited his return, giggling and humming happily while beginning to chop green onions.

DING DONG

“Ah, he's back!” You cried out, placing the kitchen knife onto the cutting board and then shutting off the stove. After that, you quickly walk to the door, still wearing your apron, and greet them with a smile as you open it, saying “Welcome back!”

“I'm back” He grinned upon seeing your frown, you were still adorable despite the upset expression.

“You're late!” You sulked, feigning annoyance.

“I'm sorry, I had to stay late at work,” he said, drawing you near, his hand resting on your lower back as he kissed you on the lips. You gazed at him, confused as he laughed and said, “You look good in that apron.”

“I-I...uhh thanks?” You stammered, turning pink.

He kissed you once more, this time on the tip of your nose, causing you to quickly avert your gaze, feeling embarrassed. ‘I don't recall him being so daring...’ Was it all in your head that he, who never used to be so openly loving and complimentary towards you, was suddenly behaving this way? His personality couldn't suddenly transform overnight.

You attempted to banish that uncomfortable sensation from your thoughts, as you plaster on a cheery smile and say, “Listen! Today I returned home and shared the news of our engagement with everyone!“

“How did everything turn out?”

“Everyone was filled with joy! They would love to see you, you should join me in visiting them next time.”

“That's great, let's plan our next meeting shortly, Do-(name)”

“Now that your parents have given us the green light, nothing can stop us now...”

“Uh-huh!” You vigorously nodded “It's hard to believe... that we'll be together forever.” You hid your face in his chest, feeling a bit timid to meet his gaze, unaware of the confident smile he wore.

So, are you truly able to be with the person you love now?

The love of a god is both pure and powerful.

It's difficult to completely break free from that love...

⋆˙⟡ taglist. @hayatoseyepatch , @ryescapades , @the-original-skipps , @stunies , @nyxypoo , @ambiguouslady42 , @kaq3yma , @pixelcafe-network , @interstellar-inn + @play5withsquirrels ("no blog found")

- ˕ •マ . . . ownership of hanaeriin !! please do no steal, repost, copy, modify , plagiarize or translate any of my works on any platforms.

[bandgie]

Hi! I ABSOLUTELY LOVED your Beast of a Man tarzan!smut. Seriously it was so engaging and you wrote him so well (HES SO HOT AGHH). He's such a hot character idk why others don't write about him, I'm starved for Tarzan fics...

Could you please make a part 2 to the smut? You have such a great/smutty idea going I would love to see you continue it!!

It would mean everything to me!

( ^◡^)

a/n: hi yes thank you so much and ofc! it's been so long since I've written smut on Tarzan so please bear with me! (fic anon is referring to here)

synopsis: You have successfully brought back the ape-man for research. Despite behaving like an animal, he's a lot more human in more ways than you originally thought.

warnings: MDNI 18+, recording during sex, oral (m!), 69ing, semi-public oral sex, cumming in mouth (m!&f!), rough throat fucking (f!rec), cum eating (m!&f!)

2.8k words

"Who the fuck is this?!"

Your colleagues screamed and ran upon seeing who, more like what, you brought back to camp. They hopped up on tables and held up papers as weapons. They eyed you both wearily, on the verge of tears as you stood just a few feet away.

"I think that's a bit extreme," you sigh. 

The ape-man was beside you, clinging onto your leg like a child would do with a mother. He, too, was very wary around these strangers. You could hear him grunting and pulling at you as if keeping you from getting too close. 

Cute yes, but this would mean it would take a lot of work to build trust in the entire group.

Slowly, the fellow researchers began to try and communicate with the man. Talking slowly and softly, just like you showed them to. All of you agreed that this being could be the missing link, the answer to the question anthropologists have tried to find for decades.

It took over a month for everyone to be comfortable around one another, but of course, another issue was raised. 

"So does he just not have a name?" Professor Porter asked. 

As of now, you all were just calling him 'the ape-man' or 'hey you' to get his attention. It never crossed your mind to give him an actual name. 

"We're not gonna name that beast," Clayton butted his way into the conversation. Clayton, as big and strong as he was, seems the most afraid of your new friend. He's hostile, rude, and arrogant. Even if the ape-man cannot understand the words thrown at him, he can feel them.

The best thing to do in these situations was to ignore Clayton, he just loves the sound of his own voice. 

"No," you turn your attention back to the professor. "Not that I know of at least. Should we come up with one?"

"Oh great," there's heavy sarcasm laced in Clayton's voice. "Here you are naming a dog you're not even gonna keep."

"With no due respect Clayton, please shut the fuck up," Terk, the youngest of you, speaks. Terk is small for his age, but he has built. A hairy man who's lively, talkative, and one of the natives that live here. He and the ape-man get along well, a little too well sometimes.

Clayton flips Terk the bird.

"A name for him would be nice, yes." The professor looks as though he's sweating from the tense atmosphere. "Do come up with one dear, I think the missing link would rather you do it."

It's no secret that the ape-man prefers you over the other researchers. He's constantly at your hip, following you like you have an invisible leash on him. Your colleagues, however, don't know how close you two actually are. 

The conversation stays in your head for the rest of the day. A name. A name. Something everyone has yet is unbelievably difficult to come up with. Hundreds of possibilities run through your mind as you carry out your daily tasks. Even the ape-man, who's used to you ruffling his hair, grows confused about your behavior.

Nightfall comes with everyone in their tents and you still haven't come up with a name. 

With a groan, you turn on your side to see the very person who's making you struggle already looking at you. His eyes are dark, but the candle in your tent lights up his features just enough. You reach out and brush a lock of hair out of his face, watching how he moves to try and get you to touch his skin.

You settle with resting the palm of your hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb over it. 

"A name," you tsk. You narrow your eyes and let your gaze travel over his body. He needs to look like his name, that's a must. "Hey, do you know what a name is?"

He doesn't answer. 

"Something to call you. That's a name. Do you have one?"

He stares at you.

Well, this is going to be harder than you thought. 

Pursing your lips, you say the first name that comes to mind, "Edward?"

He reacts to that. His calm expression turns into a scowl, bushy eyebrows coming together. You quietly laugh and shake your head, "Not that one okay."

"Tony?"

He frowns.

"Taren?"

He pouts.

"Okay, okay. I think I got it...Garrett."

The ape-man groans, mimicking the behavior he's seen you do hundreds of times. It shocks you to see him act so human, so you. It's equally adorable as it is terrifying. 

He's gotten closer to you, a breath away. The proximity used to freak you out, but you've learned it’s how he shows his affection. His trust. 

The ape-man is waiting for you to say a word he likes, a sound that comes off your tongue magically. Judging from your facial expression and earlier absent behavior, this is an important task for you.

You want the name to be strong, versatile, and not easily replaceable. The being you've found is one-of-a-kind, it's only fair his name is as well. You play with a few letters in your head, bouncing them in your mind until you think of one that suits him.

"What about Tarzan then? Do you like that one?"

His pupils dilate, watching your beautiful lips pronounce the word. His word. 

"Yes."

You gasp, sitting up abruptly. Your sudden movements make him panic as he sits up with you. He scans the tent to find an intruder while you sit there stunned. 

He spoke. The ape-man no! Tarzan just spoke to you. He understood language and used it, even if it was just a mere word. A one-syllable answer that has shaken you to your core. 

"Oh my god. You just, Tarzan you just spoke. Holy shit, say it again. I need to capture this on video." You ruffle through your bag looking for your camera. 

Tarzan stops searching the tent and looks back at you looking as confused as ever. Like he didn't just display human speech in a mere month.

Quickly, you pull out the camera and hit record, aiming the lens at Tarzan's hard, yet beautiful features. 

"Repeat what you just said," you look at him through the monitor. Instead of complying, Tarzan stares blankly into the lens. "Do you like the name Tarzan?" You press.

No answer, his eyes flick from the red light to your eyes. 

"Come on! Just tell me whether or not you like the name." You're starting to grow impatient. At this point, you're convinced he's just being an ass.

Finally, he adjusts his seating position. Tarzan glances down at his crotch then back up to you, then back to his crotch. You follow his gaze, trying to understand what he's trying to say. Then it clicks. 

Compensation. If you want him to do you a favor, you have to do him one as well. 

"Are you being serious?" You sigh at him. Tarzan gives a faint nod to you. Even if he can't do so, you swear you see him smirk. Asshole. Setting the camera down, you angle it towards the two of you. Might as well have fun with it.

You crawl your way towards him, parting his thighs slightly before giving him a playful glare, "You're such a man sometimes."

Unlike before, Tarzan wears cargo shorts rather than a mere piece of clothes from last time. Professor Porter made it clear that if he was to hang amongst you all, clothes were necessary. 

They suited him nicely, even now. The way the material hugs his toned thighs, how his cock bulges through the shorts even when he isn’t hard. You couldn't help but run your hands along his muscular legs, finding his crotch.

He groaned as you palmed him, straining to not thrust his hips up. Tarzan learned to be patient with you, especially in the presence of others. Most animals didn't care whether they mated alone or in their pack. Even if Tarzan was raised by those animals, the thought of others hearing the sounds you make for him is repulsive. 

Instead, he has to settle for brushing your hair from your face as you undo his buttons. Delicate fingers unzipping the seam until his half-hard cock sprouts in your face. 

It doesn't matter how many times you've seen his dick, it makes your pussy quiver every time. All you can think about is how perfectly it stretches you, how the tip slides against your cunt deliciously. Your mouth salivates at the memory, and you let your spit drool off your tongue to land on his cock.

Tarzan loves the sigh. A pink tongue just hovering over his length. He also remembers the feeling of your hot mouth on him. The way your lips slowly come closer to the crown of his head, how your breath wafts over him. It feels euphoric when you finally make contact with him, mouth enclosing his flushed head.

It's so warm in your mouth, smooth as you lightly suck on him. The hand on your head slightly grips your hair, a sign that he likes the slow pace you've set. You hum around his cock, taking him a little deeper as you widen your jaw.

One of your hands makes way to grip the base, pulling the skin upwards in a stroking motion. 

This makes his hips jerk, gagging you for just a split second. Your wide eyes look up at him, small tears peeking at the corners. Tarzan gives an apologetic look, but the sight of your teary eyes and pretty lips around his cock makes him fuck up toward you again.

You pull away from him, earning a whine as Tarzan throws his head back dramatically. 

Maybe he thinks you're going to stop as punishment, but it's quite the opposite. Your cunt is sopping from tasting him, even if it was for a brief moment. Even if you have a task at hand, and your camera is still recording for 'research,' you have your own needs to take care of. 

Tarzan is none the wiser as you put a hand on his bare chest and lay him down. He eyes you curiously but lets you push him all the way down before hopping on top. His eyes widen as he's faced with your clothed cunt. Underwear the same color as your tongue that holds the strongest smell of you.

He doesn't need any directions as he dives his nose into you. Tarzan is obsessed with your natural smell. His nose immediately grows damp from your wetness, his tongue poking out to lick the juices that leak out.

Softly moaning, you take a hold of his cock once more. You pump it a few times before taking it into your mouth. It's surprising to see that he's not humping in your mouth like normal, but he's so distracted with your pussy that he can't seem to bother noticing his own pleasure.

It's hard to focus on his hard length as his teeth tear off your panties. You gasp when you hear the fabric split, but it turns into a whine when his tongue finally makes contact with your bare cunt. 

Tarzan has to grip your hips to keep you still. As much as he would love for you to grind on his face, he needs to have his meal first. His tongue runs over your folds, finding that little bud you love so much to be touched. 

He sucks on it and pulls, stretching your clit. Your legs shake and you have to pull away from his cock to catch your breath. Lazy hands stroke his hard-on as you look back. You clench at the sight of his unruly hair peeking above your ass, the sounds his mouth makes as he laps at you.

Turning back to your literal task at hand, you find the energy to take his cock once more. You unhinge your jaw and exhale, taking Tarzan deeper and deeper until your eyes roll back. You hollow your cheeks and suck, moving your head back up until just the tip remains in your mouth, and go all the way back down.

Now Tarzan can feel the bliss of your mouth on him. He moans into your pussy and slightly jerks his hips up, making you gag around him once more. 

Feeling you work so hard makes him want to reciprocate. He shakes his head left and right to try and bury himself deeper. He uses his grip to force you further onto his face. Tarzan's tongue finds the squeezing entrance that he's breached so many times. He digs his tongue into you, finally getting a taste of you from the source. 

He's guiding your hips so you could drag your pussy against him how you like. Tarzan can feel your hips trying to pull away from him as the feeling of his tongue has gotten too much. And it has.

You're trying to distract yourself by deepthroating him, but it's no use. All you can feel is his experienced mouth, how he remembers every detail he knows you like. You can feel your orgasm approaching, and how it builds in your stomach rapidly. 

Tarzan feels your legs shake. Your thighs trembling and giving out, full lower body weight on his face. He can taste how the wetness has changed, thicker and tart. Tarzan knows this taste like the back of his hand. You're going to cum, give him that white cream he loves licking out of you.

You've completely stopped paying attention to his dick. A part of you should feel bad for neglecting him, but you can't seem to care as Tarzan's tongue fucks you. Instead, you find yourself humping his face, his mouth following as you approach your high.

You squeal as you come, clamping a hand over your mouth as you finish. Warm gushes out of you, body quivering as the eager man under you happily drinks it all. Tarzan gulps and slurps until he's beginning dripping from the corners of his mouth. 

He takes and takes until you're the one having to tell him no more, that you can't handle another orgasm. 

Tarzan hears the desperation in your voice, the way you plead. It takes strength for him to pull away from your pussy, a soft growl emitting from his chest. 

Then his thighs wrap around your head, securing you in front of his cock. You have no time to question him as you involuntarily take his cock into your mouth.

There's so much pre-cum dripping from the slit that all you can taste is its saltiness. He's throbbing, fucking his hips into your mouth as he holds you still with his legs. 

All you can do is take it. Lips wrapping around his girth as he desperately slides his dick in and out. You gag and silently plead for Tarzan to be gentler, but he's having none of it. Your hands warp around his thighs to steady yourself, your head bobbing uncontrollably to match his movements.

Tarzan twitches in your mouth once, stilling his hips deep into your throat. Tears immediately prick your eyes and fall down your face, and you swear your vision goes black for a fraction of a second before he pulls out. You get the chance to gasp for air as he lines up his cock to your lips again and shoves it back in.

You think you might pass out. You're at the mercy of Tarzan, and he's still unable to see how much stronger he is than the average man. Your mouth is nothing but a fleshlight to him as he makes you choke around him. It makes you feel like a toy, a warm hole for him to fuck his seed into.

And you wouldn't have it any other way.

The familiar twitch in his cock occurs again. Once, twice, then three times before he unloads in your mouth. Hot spurts of his cum find themselves in your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. 

Tarzan's hips slow, letting his cock drag against your lips before he finally pulls out. You cough and pant as his orgasm drips from your tongue. 

His thighs release you and you promptly plop down on them. You feel his hands rub soothingly over the curve of your ass, up and down your thighs. And an extra apology, Tarzan presses a kiss to your throbbing pussy. You chuckle and kiss his thigh back before sitting up, hoping off his face. 

You have to crawl to grab your camera, breathing a sigh of relief to see the red light still shining. You aim the lens at his face as he too sits up. You can see the arousal on his face from eating you out, his swollen lips, and messy hair.

"So," you start. "Tell me, Tarzan, did you like that?"

Tarzan's lips quirk into what you think is a smile before he looks at you directly through the camera. 

"Yes."

a/n: holy fuck I dont think y'all know how hard this was. I kinda went all out for the first one so the second one was hard as hell to match lmaooo. I physically and mentally can't do a third installment. this is the final one sowwy also I added some characters from the film! hopefully you caught that, I made Terk human, Tarzan needed a friend even if it's a fanfic

[thebestsetter]

Thinking about Inumaki Toge being insecure about his speech (or the lack of thereof).

I feel like if he could trade a year of his life for sixty seconds without his cursed speech, he would. Without second thought. And specially because of you.

He's had a crush on you for a while (ever since your first encounter), but he'd never admit it. Not because he's scared of rejection, but because he's scared you'll reciprocate his feelings. Because he thinks you deserve better. Actually, scratch that: he knows you deserve better. You deserve someone so much better than him.

"And then you won't believe what he said! He said: 'I can't date you, cause I'm actually your brother!'"

"No way! That's the plot of the movie? How shitty!"

You deserve someone like Yuta. Someone who can make you laugh with their own words, someone who you don't need to strugle to understand what they're saying. Right now, you and Okkotsu are talking about some bad movie he watched. And you're laughing so hard and your laugh is so pretty it makes him wanna laugh too. He wants to engage on the conversation. He wants to say: "That's one of the worst plots I've ever seen! I can take you to the movies to see a real good movie if you'd like to"

But he can't. He can't, but Yuta can. He should let you go so you can be with someone who deserves you. He has no right to be this selfish, making you a slave of a love without any words of affection.

It feels like everytime he looks at you, there's a nagging voice in the back of his head, painfully reminding him that he can't be with you, and there's nothing he can do about it. It's an impossible love.

Hell, even Panda is making him feel envious and jealous. Even though he's literally a panda, at least he can talk to you. Sing your favorites songs with you. And he can't. At least not without cursing someone (and, God forbid, maybe even you. You're the last person he wants to harm)

He wanted you to confide in him just like how you confide in Maki. You always tell her everything. He wishes he, too, could be a source of relief. A shoulder you can rely on. But he can't. He can't, cause the best he could say in that situation is "Salmon", "Caviar" and other stupid onigiri ingredients that have nothing to do with the actual topic of the conversation. Honestly, he would be tired of himself if he was his friend. You don't have the obligation to understand his dialogue. Nobody does.

So, he comes to the conclusion that he should just avoid you. He should give up on loving you, because he doesn't want you to suffer.

"Toge, please! We haven't talked in days! Why did you suddenly stop talking to me?"

He stays silent. That's the only thing he can do, after all. He can't speak. He can't. But he wishes he could. He wishes he could tell you everything that's going through his head, tell you about how he feels like dying when he sees you playing a game with Itadori and Nobara because he knows he'll never be capable of doing that with you normally. If he speaks now, everything that'll come out of his mouth are foods. Speaking now would only remind him about the drift that exists between you both (and there's two options to avoid anyone's fall: you either close the gap or you widen it. He chose the latter)

"..."

"Inumaki, talk to me" (how sad. You want him to do exactly the only thing he can't do. That just makes him remember that he'll never be enough for you. Never)

Also, wow. You're using his last name. He got in a really bad situation, huh? How will he get out of this? How will he stop your (and also his) suffering?

There's only one way. And even though he swore that he'd never use his spell against you, he finds himself lowering his scarf with trembling hands.

"Leave. And don't look back."

~A/N: This is the fic I wrote that I mentioned on my last post!! I know a lot of people have writen abt this b4, so this is inspired by other stories I've read (if you've written something like this and want me to credit you, feel free to send me an ask!!). IT JUST FITS INUMAKI CHARACTER SO MUCHHH!! Like, I can totally imagine him being insecure about not being able to speak. I just thought I should give it a try cause I CAN'T FIND INUMAKI STUFF, so I took matters into my own hands. I don't realy like this, but I thought it would be a waste to not post it anyway

Masterlist

[rollinouttahere-writes]

I have decided to post the Sanji vent fic. Hopefully anyone struggling with a similar problem will be able to find comfort in this.

Genuine

Yandere Sanji x Fem Reader

6.4k words

Summary: It would seem that your coworker is onto you and your eating disorder, but you never could have guessed how far he would be willing to go.

Warnings: described feminine reader, non consensual touching, yandere tendencies, drugging, kidnapping, captivity, anorexia, reader is described as being underweight, negativity and self depreciation, I wrote this for me but like y'all can read this too I guess

“Is there anything else I can get for you two?”

“N-No, that’s all,” the man at the table shot you an anxious smile while wringing his sweaty hands before refocusing his attention on the woman sitting across from him.

Taking the hint, you promptly excuse yourself with a smile tugging at your lips. You couldn’t help but find the couple cute, especially after the man had nervously slipped you an engagement ring to place inside the lady’s champagne flute.

It was a quiet night in the Baratie with only a sparse amount of customers dining in. That meant less tips, but since it also meant less work, and you knew better than to bemoan it too much. Busy nights were truly chaotic, so you learned quickly to appreciate when it was slow. 

With so little to do, you couldn’t help but covertly watch the table you just serviced, curiously awaiting how the woman would take to the proposal. Would she scream in joy and let out happy tears? Or would she be upset and dump the contents of the glass on her boyfriend’s head? Only time would tell.

As your gaze landed on the table, you saw that she had already fished the ring out of the glass with an awestruck look on her face. The man scrambled out of his seat and dropped to his knees beside her, clumsily swiping the ring off the fork and holding it up to her while saying words that you couldn’t quite make out from here.

Your eyes drifted to the woman. You were looking to see what her reaction was, but as per usual… your mind had other ideas.

She was gorgeous. A goddess amongst mere peasants. The way that her skillfully styled hair framed her face accentuated her every feature just as much as her perfectly applied makeup did. Not to mention that her dress was seemingly tailored to fit her stunning body just right. Anyone would feel blessed just to stand next to her. It was hardly surprising that someone would be so nervous and excited to propose to her.

What you wouldn’t give to be like her. To look like her. 

“How romantic~”

A wistful sigh next to you snaps you out of your envious thoughts. You blink a couple times and see that the woman is now out of her seat and hugging the man tightly while all but sobbing her answer. The other patrons in the dining area politely clap for the happy couple, and your body goes into autopilot to do the same.

You spare a glance to the side, regarding the person who had just spoken to you. Sanji was standing no more than a foot away while watching the spectacle before him with a dreamy expression. He meets your eyes with a gaze that felt uncomfortably intimate, causing you to look the other way again. Your reaction makes him chuckle and step closer to you, and one of his hands snakes around your waist. The sensation of his hand massaging your side made you internally cringe. If anyone else did this to you, you would slap them. But… Sanji is your boss’s son, and you don’t particularly want to go job hunting again right now.

“Don’t you think that’s romantic?” His voice cooed directly into your ear, allowing you to feel his warm breath fan across it.

Not wanting to risk showing your discomfort, you keep your answer short, “I guess…”

“You guess? Do you not think that’s sweet?” His hand settles on your hip and forces you even closer to him, much to your chagrin. Of course he’s doing whatever he can to prolong the conversation.

“It’s just… I would hate a public proposal, that’s all.” You give a partial truth, not wishing to divulge the nasty pit of envy that was the real reason behind your less than enthusiastic reaction. “I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but I would be mortified if someone proposed to me this way.”

“Oh? So you would want something more private and personal? That’s good to know.” 

Without even looking at him, you could tell that he was smirking and it made you want to groan and roll your eyes, but you resisted. You cross your arms over your chest and sigh deeply, “I don’t see why any of my preferences would be good for you to know.”

Sanji pulls you in until you’re flush against his side and uses his free hand to grasp your chin and force you to look him in the eye, “But of course it’s good to know, my love. That could be us someday~”

A shiver runs down your spine and you abruptly shove him away, “You aren’t funny, Sanji.” You take several steps back and straighten your uniform, “Now get back to work and leave me alone so I can do my job.” You turn on your heel and march away from him, ignoring his protests. Fortunately, before he can give chase, Zeff pops his head out of the kitchen and yells at Sanji to get back in there.

Thank god…

You didn’t know what Sanji’s problem was, nor why he was so hung up on harassing you. As you bounce between tables and serve the customers, your mind keeps drifting back to Sanji against your will. You couldn’t stand him… but you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him either. 

The first time he said his honeyed words to you, your heart skipped a beat. You had never been the kind of person to garner attention, much less of the romantic variety. There were butterflies in your stomach and fanciful daydreams in your head about the possibilities your futures held together. But… then he went and ruined it and crushed your dreams. You felt like a fucking idiot for thinking that you were anything special because as it turns out, Sanji is a chronic flirt and treats every woman he sees like this.

Those sweet words held no more significance than a “hello” or “how are you” to him, but you were stupid enough to take them at face value and fall for his words hook, line, and sinker. It was ridiculous. Doubly so because of all the women he could have, why the fuck would he want you? All you are is some pathetic, ugly, boring nobody. Of course he didn’t actually mean what he said. You would give anything for his actions to actually mean something, for him to genuinely be interested in you, but that just wasn’t the case and it never would be.

What you really didn’t get was why he kept trying after the jig was up. He should have dropped you like a bad habit after you started rebuking his efforts, sometimes quite harshly, but he didn’t give up. Why he was still playing this game with you was beyond your understanding. Maybe he was just viewing your stubbornness as a conquest. A conquer to boast about once he accomplished his goal. You didn’t know, but you were hellbent on never giving him the satisfaction.

But dwelling on such drama was hardly going to get you anywhere. The only good thing that came of your introspection was that it carried you through the first part of your shift and to your lunch break. After finishing with your last table, you allow a different waiter to take over your section while you excuse yourself to enjoy your break.

You slip into the coat room to put on your jacket and grab the thermos you packed for today, then head for the exit so you can sit in your car for the duration of your break. While the Baratie did provide a breakroom for the staff, you preferred the peace and solitude that came from spending time in your vehicle instead. Just as your fingers are wrapping around the doorknob to twist it open, a voice cuts through the air, calling your name and bringing you to a halt.

The knob creaks softly as your hand tightens around it, but you take a deep breath and release it as you turn around, “What do you want now, Sanji?”

If he could pick up on the annoyance and bitterness in your tone, he blatantly ignored it. Instead, he beamed at you and closed the distance between you two in record time, “I’m glad I caught you before you left. I packed you a lunch today!” Sanji presented you with a small box that he then pried the lid off of to show off the contents inside.

The lunch looked like one of those classic bentos that you see when you watch anime. There are several rounded onigiri molded and decorated to look like pandas staring back at you. Crammed into the remaining space are some colorful vegetables as well as a thinly sliced cutlet of some sort with a small sauce container in the middle.

This was far from the first time that Sanji tried to pass off a lunch onto you. While they did always look and smell appealing, all that you could focus on was the negatives of it. The carbs, the deep fried meat, the vegetables that were coated in what was no doubt a calorically dense sauce. There were enough calories in this single lunch to carry you through the week, you’re sure of it. Your body would give out before you could ever work all of this off. And Sanji offered you this kind of shit damn near daily. It’s like he’s trying to make you fat.

Sanji’s face falls when you don’t say anything or make an attempt to take it, “Do you not like it? I can go make you something else if you want. Just tell me what you want and I’ll go make it right now.”

His persistence makes you cringe. How many times are you going to have to shoot him down before he actually listens to you and stops trying to give you food? You force a smile onto your face and hold up your thermos, “No… it, uh, it looks great, but I already have something to eat.”

“What do you have?”

Your eye twitches as he presses on, “Soup.”

For a moment, he just stares at you. The intensity of his gaze makes you shift uncomfortably. When he puts the lid back onto the bento, you feel a rush of relief, thinking that he was finally going to drop it and leave. But then he takes a step forward, his visible eye staring into your soul as he asks another question, “What kind?”

“W… What? Excuse me?” 

“What kind of soup did you bring?”

The seriousness in his voice as he asked such a bizarre question made you laugh nervously, “What kind? What are you? The soup police?” You hope that the attempt at humor would diffuse the tense air and make him back off, but he just continues to stare at you expectantly. Your smile drops and twists into a scowl. “Why do you care? I’m just trying to take my break. Would you let me do that already?”

“... There’s just broth in there, right?” Sanji reaches inside his suit jacket for a cigarette and lights it. He takes a long drag of it, not giving a damn about the fact that he’s still in the building, “Or maybe green tea, though you usually use a different thermos for tea.”

What the fuck?

All you can do is stare at him as your blood runs cold. How did he know that? Your fingers tighten around the thermos that he correctly guessed the contents of. This was making you feel backed into a corner, and you could feel your temper starting to flare up. Why couldn't Sanji just mind his own damn business for once in his life?

“I don't see how this affects you. Just leave me the hell alone, okay? Get off my case.” Every word was spoken through clenched teeth as you tried desperately to keep from snapping at him and causing a scene. You whip around, intent on leaving so you can hide out in your car from him. 

Before you can even grab hold of the doorknob, two arms wrap around your midsection and yank you back. A startled yelp escapes you as your back collides with Sanji's chest. For a moment, you're too stunned to even speak. He's always been touchy, but he's never crossed a line like this before. Your mind scrambles to figure out how to react when you feel one of his hands drift up and start rubbing up and down your ribcage as he nestles the side of his face against your hair. 

“You're so thin… I can trace every single one of your ribs through your clothing. I know you're hungry; you have to be. Take the lunch I made for you, won't you, dear? I hate watching you waste away like this. You're breaking my heart.” His words are hushed, murmured so quietly that you doubt you would have been able to hear him had his lips not been directly next to your ear. 

The worst part of this was the way his voice cracked in the last sentence. The foolish, naive part of your brain all but sang at this, desperately wanting to believe that someone cared about you. That someone wanted to see you get better and be happy. But then your rationality kicked back in. Sanji is just a player. He's only after one thing, and you know damn well that it isn't actually your heart. As soon as he gets what he wants, you'll be forgotten like every other woman that has come and gone in his life. 

He's just playing the long con with you, and he's using some really fucked up tactics to try and win. Your lips curl into a snarl, and you spin within his hold and violently shove him away from you. Surprise flashes across his face as he stumbles and has to grab onto the coat rack to keep himself upright. 

You want to scream at him. To cuss him out and ask how dare he try to manipulate and use you like this. But as tears burn at your eyes, you quickly retreat from the confrontation and run out of the building and to the sanctity of your car, locking the doors the second you get inside. 

For a moment, all you can do is sit there in silence as you process everything that just happened. Your head drops onto the steering wheel as a quiet sob leaves your throat. Why you? Why does he insist on tormenting you? Why does he have to keep fucking with you like this? You haven't done anything to him to deserve this. It didn't make any sense as to why he was so focused on you. It's not like you're the prettiest waitress here. There are plenty of better options. Like literally anyone else. Maybe this is all one big joke to him… maybe he's just waiting for you to cave and say yes to him so he can laugh in your face for being stupid enough to think that he would ever actually want someone like you.

You wipe at your face aggressively as you lean back and reach for your phone to check the time. Much to your chagrin, ten of your thirty minutes have already been wasted. Great. You sniffle as you lift up your thermos to unscrew the lid. Then a thought strikes you.

How did Sanji know exactly what you had in here? He said it like it was just a guess, but what were the odds that it actually was? Did… Did he check it? Did he go through your locker and open your thermos? Why? What was he hoping to gain from doing that? Was he really just that nosey, or was he up to something?

Should you even be drinking this? You purse your lips and hesitate to take the lid off. What if he did something to it? Would he do something like that?

You decide to twist off the cap and look. You swirl the broth around in the thermos while scrutinizing it. It didn't look like he spit in it… and there didn't appear to be anything in there that shouldn't be…

Part of you still wanted to open the car door and dump it out regardless, but the other part was more hesitant to do that. You really didn't want to do the rest of your shift on a completely empty stomach. If it didn't have at least something in it, you knew you would get dizzy, and that's not something you can be when you're carrying trays loaded with food and drinks. Besides, it's not like you had proof that Sanji had tampered with this. Maybe it really had just been a lucky guess. 

Tentatively, you take a sip. It doesn't taste off. You sigh deeply, then take another drink of it. There you go again being paranoid. Sanji’s persistence had just put you a little on edge, that's all. You're over thinking things. 

The rest of your break is spent scrolling through your phone as you sip at your lunch. Periodically, your eyes glance up at the employee only door, half expecting to see Sanji standing there and watching you, but you fortunately never see him. You can only hope that you shoving him finally got the point across.

When your break is over, you leave your car and trudge back to the restaurant, shivering slightly in the crisp, early winter air. You pry the door open and slip inside, hanging up your coat and haphazardly tossing your now empty thermos and phone into your locker before power walking past the kitchen and into the dining room, hoping to avoid potentially catching the sous chef's eye should he not be as put off as you were hoping.

Just as you're entering the main room, your head starts to spin. Shit. The power walking was too much, wasn't it? As covertly as you can, you shrink back and lean against the wall, waiting for your vision to clear. Dizzy spells aren't anything new for you. 

Your hand comes up to rub at your eyes as you try to will yourself to recover faster. Fuck… you feel so lightheaded. Are you going to faint? It's not usually this bad at work. 

“(Y/N)? Are you feeling alright?”

The gruff voice of your boss snaps you out of your fog. You cringe as you look up and see Zeff standing in front of you with his arms crossed. Well then, this was humiliating. Having him see you slacking off right after your break was not something you wanted to happen. In an attempt to save face, you force yourself to stand up straight, “E-Everything’s fine, sir! Nothing to worry about here!”

You push yourself away from the wall, fully intending to hightail it into the dining area to try and spare yourself from his wrath, but your dizzy spell hadn’t passed at all yet. Your knees buckle and your vision swirls from the sudden movement, and the next thing you know, you fall right into Zeff. His arms uncross and his hands clamp onto your shoulders to keep you from falling to the floor. Your ears are ringing, and you can only vaguely make out what he’s saying. Something about “taking it easy”?

Through your disoriented state, you can recognize that you’re being moved, practically carried, by your boss. If you were in a better state, you’re sure that your face would be flush with shame. You can feel yourself being lowered onto a chair. Even with you now being seated, Zeff kept one hand on your shoulder to keep you upright. He turned and called out across the kitchen, “Eggplant, bring some water over here!”

Eggplant? Oh no. Not him. You try to sit up straighter and make yourself look more put together, “No, I’m okay. You don’t have to-”

“Quiet. Don’t give me any of that. You almost fainted out there, you clearly aren’t ‘okay’,” Zeff’s tone was firm and left no room for argument. 

“(Y/N) almost fainted?!” Sanji rushed over and shoved the glass of water he had into Zeff’s hand before dropping to his knees at your side. His hand clutched yours tightly as he stared into your eyes with a distraught look on his face. “My sweet (Y/N), why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?”

Any attempts to dislodge his hands prove fruitless, you can’t break his hold. You purse your lips and avert your eyes, not wanting to look at his expression that is so convincing that you almost believe it. “I said that I’m fine. I just got a little lightheaded. It’ll pass in a minute.” Despite your words, you don’t actually feel any better even though you’re sitting down and resting now.

Zeff sighs at your words and brings the glass of water to your lips for you since your hands are still locked in Sanji’s death grip. You drink the cool water, but it doesn’t feel like it’s really helping anything. He pulls the glass away and stares at you hard for a moment before speaking, “You’re taking the rest of the day off.”

“What?”

“It’s a slow night, the remaining waitstaff here will be more than enough to cover for you. I don’t want you working in this state, you’re just going to hurt yourself or one of the customers if you have another dizzy spell while you’re carrying something. Just go home and rest.” Zeff turns his head to look directly at Sanji, “Why don’t you give her a ride home?”

Panic surges through your veins, “N-No! I can drive myself home, that’s okay!”

The look that Zeff gives you is hard and makes you shut up instantly, “Don’t start. You’re going to get into an accident if you try to drive right now. Like I just said, it’s slow. We can afford to lose Sanji for the day. The kitchen will probably run smoother anyway.”

Sanji grumbles at that last comment, but for once, he doesn’t pounce at the opportunity to argue with his old man. Instead, he stands up and flashes you with a warm smile, “I’ll go pull my car up so you don’t have to walk as far. Just wait right here for me.” He leans down to kiss your hand before releasing it and leaving. You hate the way your heart fluttered at the simple display. Stupid heart falling for bullshit actions. 

While you wait, you sigh and slump back in the chair. Zeff had excused himself and exited the kitchen right after Sanji, presumably to let your coworkers know you weren’t coming back from your break today. The rest of the people in the kitchen were going about their job, but you caught a few of them sparing you concerned glances which only added to your embarrassment over the whole situation. You’re glad that you happen to have tomorrow off to help give them an extra day to forget about this ordeal.

The kitchen doors open again, and Sanji walks through them, wearing a light jacket and carrying yours. He helps you put on your coat, then pulls you to your feet. Almost immediately, your legs wobble and you instinctively latch onto him for support. What is going on with you? You’ve never had one of your dizzy spells hit you this hard. Before you can even begin to steady yourself and try again, you’re abruptly swept off your feet. The quick motion makes your head spin so much that it takes you a moment to register what is happening to you.

Mortification washes over you as you realize that Sanji just scooped you up into a bridal carry right in front of the entire kitchen. You squirm in his arms while uttering out weak protests as Sanji casually kicks open the swinging doors to the kitchen and walks out, seemingly completely unbothered by carrying you. You look up at him as your vision rapidly becomes more and more hazy. His expression is completely relaxed as if nothing is wrong. 

His apparent confidence wasn’t spread to you, however. Something about this felt… wrong. You’ve never felt like this before, and you were starting to get scared. What if this was something more serious than you previously thought? Were you having a medical emergency right now?

As Sanji is placing you into the passenger seat of his car, you grab onto his arm while he’s trying to buckle your seatbelt, “Sanji… I don’t feel good.”

The smile that had been plastered onto his face since Zeff told him to take you home softened into a warmer, more comforting smile. He finishes buckling you in and strokes your hair, “I know, but don’t worry. I’m going to take care of you.”

“N… No,” your tongue feels like lead in your mouth, making speaking even harder. “Hos… pital.”

The seat you’re in is reclined so that you’re laying down. Sanji stands up straight. You can feel that he’s looking at you, but your vision is so blurry that you can’t make out his face anymore. He doesn’t acknowledge your request to go to the hospital. He closes the door, and everything goes black before he can walk around and open his own.

—

When your consciousness begins to flow back into you, you find yourself in the warm comfort of your bed. You sigh in contentment and lazily nuzzle your face into your pillow. The cool silk of the pillowcase felt heavenly on your skin.

…

… Silk?

Didn’t you have some cheap microfiber sheets on your bed? You sniff at the pillow and frown. You know for a fact that your bedding doesn’t smell like men’s cologne and tobacco.

Your senses come back to you in an instant as you lurch up into a sitting position. Your eyes frantically take in your surroundings, and dread fills your being. You’re in a small bedroom. There are several bookshelves lining the walls. A chair with a small side table are placed near them like some sort of simple reading nook. There’s a desk against the wall opposite of you with a laptop sitting on it.

You don’t recognize this room. It isn’t yours, and this definitely isn’t a hospital.

Looking down, you take in the bed you’re in. It’s a queen size bed that’s been pushed into the corner of the room, with you being on the side closest to the wall. A body pillow is placed against the wall, keeping you separated from it. Several blankets are piled on top of you. You raise your arms to throw off the blankets, but something halts your movement. 

Your hands jerk back abruptly, making you wince as something tugs on your wrists and the headboard clangs behind you. You look down, and what you see makes your blood run cold.

Handcuffs. There are padded handcuffs locked around each of your wrists. Your eyes follow the chains all the way back to the headboard. Oh fuck. 

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck 

You’re going to die. You’re going to die here! Horror encompasses you fully as the gravity of your situation. Where even were you? And who did this? What kind of a monster could do something like this to you?

Think! Where were you before you passed out? It takes a moment for your memory to return to you but when it does, everything clicks into place. Sanji. You were in Sanji’s car. Did he do this? Sure, he could be a little sleazy, but you never took him for a kidnapper. And why you? What was his fucking obsession with you? What was he going to do to you?

No. You weren’t going to die like this. You weren’t going to let yourself be toyed with, murdered, and discarded by your sick freak of a coworker! Maybe you can break yourself free if you could just snap the wood you’re chained to. The chains connecting you to the headboard are long, permitting a wide range of motion to you. You’ll put your feet against the headboard and pull as hard as you can.

With a plan in mind, you shift to pull your legs up, but again, your movements are halted. You grab the blankets and yank them up only to reveal the very same handcuffs around your ankles. Experimentally, you pull on them. The footboard barely even budges. These chains are much shorter than the ones on your wrists, not giving you any chance to build up any sort of momentum. Just like that, your hope dies.

As you’re sitting there, completely demoralized, you take note of something else. You aren’t wearing your work clothes anymore. Instead, you’ve been dressed in a cozy pajama set. Even your regular socks have been replaced with fuzzy ones.

Shame and disgust courses through you upon realizing that you had been undressed while you were unconscious. At the same time, you couldn’t help but feel confused. It’s not like you’ve ever been kidnapped before, but this didn’t seem normal. Whenever you would hear about true crime cases covering people being abducted, you never heard about the kidnapper putting them in comfy clothes and a warm bed. 

What the hell was going on? 

You’re torn from your thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming towards you. Your head snaps up and you instinctively press yourself back against the headboard. Your eyes lock onto the door and you stare at it like a scared, cornered animal. Which is pretty much exactly what you are.

The door opens, and your theory as to who it was is confirmed instantly. Sanji’s smiling face enters the room, filling you with a combination of anger and fear. His grin widens even more as his eyes land on you, “Oh good, you’re awake. That’s perfect.” He hums happily and walks over to the bed with absolutely no sense of urgency. He sets a steaming bowl down on the bedside table as his eyes run over your body. “That’s no good, you’re going to get cold, sweetheart.” He calmly pulls the blankets back over you, then moves the pillows on the bed so that they’re behind your back. 

You cringe away from him as his hands brush against your back, and you snap at him, “Don’t touch me!”

Sanji’s smile droops and morphs into a pout, “Don’t be like that, (Y/N). I’m just trying to make you more comfortable.”

The way that he is blatantly ignoring the elephant in the room was really pissing you off. “Comfortable? Comfortable?! You know what would make me more comfortable?! Not being fucking kidnapped!” 

Your kidnapper has the audacity to sigh at you. “I’m doing this for your own good. You forced my hand. I didn’t have a choice.”

“What are you talking about?! Of course you had a choice! You could have chosen not to kidnap me!”

“You had a choice, too. It didn’t have to be this way, you know?” By now, his smile is completely gone. He pulls out a pack of cigarettes and slips one into his mouth before lighting it.

His casual demeanor only further fueled your ire, “I beg your fucking pardon?”

“I said that you also had a choice,” he exhales smoke into the air. “If you would have just taken that lunch I made for you, we wouldn’t have had to take this route.”

“What?”

“If you would have eaten the lunch that I made for you, you wouldn’t have drank the broth, and you never would have gotten so dizzy that you had to go home.” You freeze as his words sink in. “We could have done things the easy way, but you’re just so stubborn, aren’t you? But that’s okay. I think that this is for the better. Now I can monitor your recovery much more closely than I could have if we were apart.”

“You drugged me…” The words are little more than a whisper.

“Don’t put it like that, you’re making me sound like a scoundrel. A predator, even! I just… gave you something to help bring us together so I can take care of you. This is what you need. You’ve made it clear that you can’t take care of yourself on your own.”

Your fists clutch at the blankets covering you as you hiss at him, “Take care of me? You’ve got a really twisted way of going about doing that. How is this helping me?”

“This is helping you because I’m going to nurse you back to health. I know that you’ve been starving yourself. Everyone can tell. You’re wasting away right before us and making everyone watch as you slowly and painfully kill yourself.” Sanji’s voice cracks and he drops his head. Your eyes drift down when you hear the quiet drip drip drip of tears falling onto the duvet. “Do you have any idea how much it’s hurt me? You’re killing me just as much as yourself.”

One of Sanji’s hands reaches out and cups your cheek, forcing you to look him in the eye again. Forcing you to fully take in the state he’s in. There is so much pain and despair in his eyes. He looks absolutely miserable. This isn’t an act. He isn’t fucking with you. He means every single word coming out of his mouth. His thumb rubbed against your cheek, just beneath your sunken eye as he holds your face just a little too tightly. He speaks again in a choked-up, desperate tone, “I love you so much, (Y/N). I don’t want to watch you die.”

All you can do is stare at him as your mind runs at a thousand miles a second to try and process all of the information being thrown at it. Wasn’t this… what you wanted? Proof that Sanji actually cared about you. That you weren’t just a conquest, but a legitimate desire. He says he loves you, and you genuinely don’t think you can argue against that, but…

Not like this. This isn’t how you wanted this to happen. You wanted a heartfelt confession, but not when you were cuffed to his bed after being drugged and kidnapped. This was insane. He was insane. And you were trapped with him.

Sanji releases your face and clears his throat as he pulls back with a forced smile, “Apologies. Look at me getting all emotional when I’m supposed to be caring for you.” He plucked the bowl off the nightstand and started to stir the mixture together. “I made some congee for you. I thought that this would be a nice and filling meal for your poor stomach.”

The mention of food made you recoil, and not just for the usual reason. You glare at Sanji and ask, “What’s in it?”

He beams at the question, “Well, I cooked the rice in a dashi broth- homemade of course- and I’ve got some salmon and-”

You interrupt him, “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. What did you put in my food this time?”

Realization flashes across his face and he sags, “It’s just food, my love. I promise that I won’t drug you again. I just had to do it that one time so I could get you here.”

“Do you expect me to believe that? To trust you after what you’ve done?”

“Please, (Y/N), you have to believe me. Did you not hear everything I just said? I’m doing this for your own good. I can’t help you get better if you’re unconscious the whole time. Just calm down and let me feed you before your food gets cold.” While he started off sounding sweet and pleading, his voice became progressively more firm as he went on. With a quiet huff, he sits down on the empty bed space next to you and scoops out a spoonful of the rice porridge.

Terrified of being drugged and vulnerable again, your hand swipes at him, just barely missing the spoon as he jerks back. Surprise flashes across his face, but quickly morphs into a scowl. He drops the spoon back into the bowl, then grabs your face again. You start to struggle, but you’re no match for his strength in your current state.

“Stop.” The one word is spoken with so much force that it actually makes you stop and stare at him with wide eyes. He sighs deeply and his teeth grind against his cigarette as he makes himself calm down. “(Y/N). My dear, sweet (Y/N). I went out of my way to give you handcuffs that were long enough for you to move around for your comfort, but if you try to stop me from feeding you again, I’m going to change them out for much shorter ones that won’t let you move at all. Is that what you want?”

You shake your head and cower back. 

“Good. I don’t want that either. Now say ‘ah’ for me, alright?” Just like that, he switches again, sweetly crooning at you as he brings the spoon back to your lips. 

As much as you don’t want to eat it… you don’t want to be even more restricted than you already are. Hesitantly, you open your mouth. Sanji’s smile widens as he quickly pushes the spoon past your lips. The savory porridge fills your mouth and, admittedly, tastes divine. It’s the best thing you’ve had in months… maybe even years.

You carefully chew, then swallow it. The voice in the back of your head is going crazy, screaming over all of the carbs and fat in that one single bite. But before you can dwell on it too much, another spoonful is brought to your lips. Your eyes flit up to Sanji who is looking at you with an expectant smile. 

Well… you suppose that your food intake is no longer in your power. You have to eat if you want to keep Sanji happy and passive. You open your mouth again.

“Good, there’s my good girl.” Sanji looks happier than you think you’ve ever seen him. His smile lacks the playful edge it usually has to it, and his normally aloof eyes are relaxed in a way that makes him look almost soft despite the situation. “I know that you’re upset, and I understand that. This is all very shocking to you, but one day, you’re going to thank me for this. I guarantee it.”

“Honestly, you should have seen this coming. At the Baratie, we feed everyone who is hungry. Even if they don’t necessarily want us to.”

[inbarfink]

So when I wrote down that Big Undertale Meta Post about how Sans probably doesn’t remember RESETs at all and why that’s cool - I got a lot of responses to the tune of ‘that’s probably canon but I’m still gonna enjoy Sans Remember fics because of the angst’. And, well... first I want to emphasize that those are very good and correct responses! Like ‘I acknowledge might or might not be in the text but I am also gonna explore alternative ideas Because I Enjoy Them’ is a Good Damn Position to have! Transformative Fandom is Transformative on purpose! Engage with the text and it’s various analyses but don’t let it chain your creativity or fun!

It’s just that… all of the people saying that they prefer Sans Remembering ‘for the Angst’ make me think that maybe folks are kinda ignoring the incredible angst potential of Sans NOT remembering.

My original post focused on how cool it is that Sans manages to be so on-top-of-things even though he doesn’t remember anything - but let’s not ignore the fact that this situation is also grim as shit.

Through some mysterious super-science or whatever, Sans has managed to discover that his timeline is being RESET and altered constantly (before the Player came along, Flowey had already managed to basically 100% the entire Underground) and he has no memory of what's going on and what exactly is being altered. 

He knows he might’ve gone through the same day over and over and over again thousand times but he’s simply not aware of it. It’s all the helplessness and lack of forward momentum of a classic timeloop and none of the benefits of memorizing occurrences or acquiring extra information. That’s exactly the thing that drove him into his depressive spiral.

That line always strikes me. It’s like… Sans suspects that without the meddling of capricious immortal time gods, he’d be a much happier and motivated person. But he doesn’t know for sure, because he can’t remember how he was in some distant ‘original timeline’. He is essentially fighting to avenge a version of himself that might not even be real.

Like, yes, it is very impressive and badass how well Sans trained himself to notice every tiny little hint that might indicate that a RESET happened - but it’s impressive because the deck is stacked so heavily against him. And it is very impressive and badass how Sans managed to turn his weaknesses into strengths during his Boss Battle - but it’s impressive because these are usually huge weaknesses. Trying to work to solve a timeloop that you can only infer is going on through context clues is quite a hopeless and desperate mission!

Another bit in the Sans fight that I often think about is his unique reaction if you kill him and then RESET to Fight him again.

With how skilled he is at reading expressions, Sans probably knows what that ‘weird expression’ means, he knows the Player killed him once before and is here to try again. And yet he still goes along with the same attack plan he has, the one he knows killed him in that previous timeline. Why? Because he doesn’t know where the flaw in his plan was exactly, he can’t even begin to guess. So he has no choice but to go along with the plan he knows did kill him, because that’s the only thing he has. 

You know, the thing about Sans, is that he always plays his cards very close to his chest. It’s very hard to tell what exactly he’s thinking. That’s probably why so many people do believe he remembers RESET. If any non-Flowey character remembered RESETs, only Sans would be remotely able to hide it so well. But for me? It makes me wonder how much of his Troll who Knows Too Much persona is a bit of an act as well. 

You know, Sans’ deduction requires some keen observational skills - does he ever second-guess his conclusions? Living on constant high-alert that something has been reversed or that someone knows something they shouldn’t requires fostering a lot of paranoia, and that can’t be healthy for him. Is he ever overcome with doubt on whatever something was really an indication of a timeline RESET or not? How does he feel when he realizes something horrible happened on a previous timeline (for example, his brother dying) but he doesn’t know about the context to feel sure that he can stop it from happening again? 

I also think about it in terms of his relationship to Papyrus in general. Sans tends to hide so many things from Papyrus, especially in timelines where the Player is particularly kill-happy...

In part it’s about his perception that Papyrus’ kindness and pacifism is born from naïveté and thus the only way to preserve it is to hide the cruelty and harshness of the world from him (Undyne also does that). But also, with the paranoia and helplessness Sans lives in every day - is it any wonder that he might believe that ignorance is bliss?

I do truly think it’s beautiful how fandom can experiment with cool non-canon ideas! There are probably so many great emotional angsty ideas tied up to Sans remembering RESETs! I just feel it’ll be a shame if people ignore just how dire and depressing Sans’ canon situation also is!

[stump-not-found]

A03 wrapped 2024

tagged by @tempusedax-rerum >:DDDDD

1.) Biggest surprise while writing this year?

how much people responded to bill cipher saying daddy . how people have interpreted ford's relationship to mabel in theseus' guide; i've really tried to write him as really caring for her so seeing that interpreted as him disliking her is so interesting haha

most of all tho i'm just surprised and very grateful that theseus has received any attention, it's been so so wonderful reading everyone's thoughts and seeing them engage with the fic . it really makes the entire process so gratifying, and i hope folks continue to enjoy where the story goes next :D

2.) How many WIPs do you have in your docs for next year?

i've got my erotic billford rom com Can of Snakes that's over 20k right now . it has banger titles such as "sad handjob" and "penicular sounding", so someday i'll be posting that . i think they can make it work

i also just started Weirdmageddon 2: Electric Boogaloo: Lost In New York, an AU where ford gets stan to help him finish the portal after kicking fidd's to the curb . stan and bill become besties, ford hates it, and bill isn't allowed to destroy new york until he tries a slice of 'za .

this is not accounting for the mountain of comic WIP's i have but that shit aint goin on ao3

3.) Favourite character to write this year?

ford for sure . you give me a character who's autistic in a way that isn't cute and it just means the world to me . i get to give him evil autism . the autism where we acknowledge growing up autistic is traumatizing and makes you not a nice person all the time . fuck i love him . i get to dump so much of my own shit on him its so funnnnnnn yay lalalala

there was a whole paragraph i wrote that was just describing the perfect eye angle to maintain when walking through a farmers market to avoid social scenario's, which i had to remove because it was just me rambling about my own social survival strategies . farmers markets are dangerous places

i also love writing him in the context of bill . what a fucking mess they are i hope they never get better . but together <3

4.) The character that gave you the most trouble this year?

honestly stanley pines . i feel like i soften him too much, and lean in to his more positive traits than his more negative ones . it's hard because i feel like folks don't talk about the fact he was homeless for like 10 years & also had a breaking bad style adventure in columbia

the other problem is that he IS a big softy so idk . but he should be bitchier god damn it . he should be talking about his cataracts

6.) Did you receive any gifts this year?

I DID YOU INSANE PEOPLE thank you all it make a me smile:

@stemmmm @ancharan @kronehaze @sillyhyperfixator @ezrathean0n

7.) Did you do any collaborative works this year?

i feel like all my writing is collaborative!! i spend hours talking fic stuff with my wife & brother and my stuff is all the better for it . would love to do more of that w/ other folks i love it talking and thinking and playing is so fun

8.) What do you listen to while writing?

i don't like listening to music when i write lol ...... i sit in the cold silence and type in a frantic spiral .

i listen to a lotta different things while i think of things to write tho . atm all i want in the world is to make a theseus animation to this song it's very hammercore :

9.) Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

oogh that's hard to choose . i'm just gonna share a bunch that make me laugh

from theseus' guide step six:

Dipper, clearly, doesn’t get it, and Ford acknowledges he is too young to understand a professional working relationship.

also from step six:

“Oh, sure, I can move on,” Stan grins, “To the other items on my list. A, the shack’s toilets all suck, and the seats keep raisin’ automatically. B, your handwriting sucks. C–”

from theseus' guide step three:

“You think you’re coming back anytime soon?” “No, 8-Ball, I don’t think I’m ‘ coming back ’ anytime soon.” Ford snides, though 8-Ball either doesn’t register that, or doesn’t care; hard to tell with the guy, “I’m sure you’re aware, but your boss wants to kill my family. And destroy my universe. ” 8-Ball sniffs. “Cool. Mind if I eat your leftovers then? Teeth keeps eyeing them.” Ford frowns, “You couldn’t have just brought them with you?” “Nah, man, I want to eat them.”

lots of lines from step eight but we ain't there yet

uuuuhhghhg who to send this chain mail along to uuuhgghgh

@beccadrawsstuff if u wannaaaa . anyone else feel free to pick this up as well i'm bad at this lol

[flawlessflesh]

at arm's length

CW: Discussion of CSA and trafficking

I originally wrote this meta in response to a retrospring anon - These are my thoughts on the impact of child abuse on Thistle's ability to form relationships or feel attraction.

Keep in mind as you read that this is based on my personal interpretation of Thistle as a present-day teen who was trafficked for several years before being taken to the golden kingdom. This meta is canon-adjacent, not canon, and can be considered supplementary info for my fics.

-

Thistle has a heaping pile of trauma centered on interpersonal relationships and intimacy. This, along with his lifespan, inhibits him from forming equal relationships with others, and outside of his very small family group he doesn’t feel safe or capable of reaching out to people or letting people in.

He can feel attraction towards others but he shuts it down and doesn’t act on it because it feels like something bad will happen if he does. I consider him to be more comfortable around men than he is with women because he thinks he knows what he can expect from men (men were the main perpetrators of his abuse, but men like Freinag and Delgal are also the most important relationships in his life), but he has no idea what to expect from women. Best to avoid them. Most of his attraction is towards men as well and that complicates things due to the likelihood that these historical fantasy tall-man societies are homophobic - and Thistle isn’t treated like a man but he also isn’t a woman, so is it allowed? Is there something wrong with him for feeling this way? He doesn’t know. It isn't safe. So he keeps it all to himself.

In my timeline, Thistle doesn’t start puberty until a few years before the kingdom is turned into a dungeon. He never has the typical experience of crushes and childhood romance because he has no peers to engage in them with - his slower aging and his race isolate him. Everyone sees the silly little elf jester first and not the person. All he has is the royal family. Delgal goes through puberty, fools around, gets married, and through it all Thistle only understands that behavior like it’s something he’s read about in a book. He's disturbed by it too, having only had negative experiences with human sexuality, as little as he remembers of it. As an aside, I think when Thistle was brought to the castle he briefly had a crush on the king, but it was a child’s harmless emotion directed towards someone safe who he perceived as having saved him. If you’ve ever had a strong attachment towards a teacher or mentor growing up it was like that, and Freinag wasn’t aware of it and did not encourage it.

This is going deep into headcanon territory now. Thistle was trafficked by the troupe master of the traveling performers who had him before he was given to King Freinag. Thistle has suppressed the entire thing and can’t clearly recall the last twenty years of his life before Freinag. The information he has about that time is what people later told him (“your parents abandoned you”, “you were part of a traveling troupe”, “you already knew how to play the flute and follow instructions well”, etc). Freinag unintentionally replicates the emotional abuse that Thistle suffered — he calls Thistle his child but treats him more like a pet who has to perform for approval, and he is overly physically affectionate while neglecting the very real parental needs Thistle has as a young child. Thistle's hurt is like a barely scabbed over wound that keeps being picked at until it bleeds again.

Thistle grows up with an incorrect idea of how adults are allowed to treat him which leads to wariness towards everyone who is not the immediate royal family. They’re safe, they don’t do anything bad, but he can’t trust anyone else. Plus - he doesn’t like when strangers single him out for being an elf. He wants to fit in so badly and instead they invade his space and point out how he’s different and are always reaching for his ears. The few times he feels attraction he suppresses it on instinct without trying to understanding what it is or what prompted it. He doesn’t want to feel drawn to anyone he isn’t already close to. It’s a self-preservation mechanism and a reaction to the abuse he suffered, and after a while the curiosity is blocked off altogether.

In a post-canon future where he’s found a will to live and is healed to the point where he is interested in meeting new people, I still think he wouldn’t want to have an intimate relationship. It’s like a chasm, a frightening abyss of possibility for new experiences but also for getting hurt, and he has been hurt too many times already. Friendship would be daunting enough - I genuinely think he’d struggle with it - but anything more is equivalent with ruinous loss of control in his mind. Things can get better with time, conscious work, and understanding, but this mindset is where I see him staying for a long while. Thistle doesn’t do well with change or admitting truths to himself that he’s worked very, very hard to suppress.

[writer-freak]

Gossiping | Hazbin x Gn reader

Characters: Alastor, Rosie, Vox, Lucifer, Angel Dust, Husk, Cherri Bomb and Velvette

Warnings: gn reader, can be seen as either platonic or romantic for most of these characters, is probably messy and characters could be ooc, english isn't my first language, maybe I will clean this up one day

A/n: Not really that happy with this and wrote this today to take my mind off things but I was thinking about who has the most tea to share in hell and this is how I ended up writing this. Also as a fellow aroace person, I'm probably gonna start writing some platonic Alastor fics.

Alastor:

Doesn't really spill tea himself that often but if he does expect it to be really hot

He often gossips with Rosie though it is mostly her who has something to talk about

So he really is used to listening to someone talking about the drama around hell

And actually, Alastor enjoys some good gossip especially if he can use that information to his advantage

He usually has these gossip sessions with you over a good cup of tea with some low jazz playing in the background

It also isn't unusual for you to go over to Rosie's to invite her into your gossip session

Rosie:

Rosie is the queen of gossip in cannibal town, knowing everything juicy about everyone around

She loves inviting you over to her place for some good tea and pinky fingers to snack on while you exchange drama

Rosie is really interested in others' lives so usually people are just open with her which is why she has so much information about everyone

While she really enjoys gossiping she also is a really good listener and can keep a secret if you need her to

Vox:

Not really that interested in gossip that is more Velvettes kind of thing

But he does try to stay up to date with some people (mainly Alastor) though that is usually as far as his interest in gossip goes

But he can actually tell you some juicy information as he has cameras all around the Pride ring 

But it will not really be a real gossip session as he just isn't that interested in drama 

If you ask he may tell you some things but it will probably be very brief 

So not really a gossiper even though he has a lot of information about people all around Pride

But this only applies to personal gossip everything looks completely different if he can use it on one of his broadcasts 

Drama from famous people around hell is great to get in viewers and sometimes if you really beg him to he will tell you some information before the official broadcast

But I wouldn't be surprised if he told you to just watch the show to hear what is going on

Lucifer:

He doesn't seem overtly interested in gossip especially if we look at the other characters 

But I think he just enjoys talking to you in general so if you have some interesting drama to tell him about he would listen attentively 

He would probably forget everyone's name in your gossip session and you would constantly have to explain to him again who was who

You two probably have these conversations in his suite, you two just chilling together maybe cuddling a bit while you watch something on the TV

Something happens in the show that reminds you of some gossip that you heard about and you need to tell all the details to Lucifer

Angel Dust:

Angel Dust is probably always in the know about the latest gossip and scandals

He just sees quite a bit of stuff on social media and I also wouldn't be surprised if he hears some stuff around the V tower

Also sometimes he hears some things from people he flirts or hooks up with

You two would probably be in his room to gossip just chilling on his bed doing some skincare

Him painting your nails while exchanging anything that you have picked up since your last gossip session

How he tells you about stuff is just so engaging and he also just loves to hear what kind of tea you have

For him, this really is good quality time and just loves spending his downtime with you like this

Husk:

Husk hears so much stuff while at the bar from the hotel's residents

So this is also usually where you tell him about some of the latest hot gossip going on around hell

While Husk has quite a lot of information about the other residents of the hotel he doesn't really wanna tell on them so usually he doesn't add much to these sessions

He is just more the listening guy and doesn't participate in spreading

He will listen to you and if you have something more serious to discuss he is a great person

He just lends you a non-judgmental ear and you can confide in him 

And you know that he doesn't tell anyone about what you tell him

Cherri Bomb:

Cherri Bomb is someone who loves stirring up trouble but I don't think she is that strong of a gossiper

Or at least she isn't really that dedicated to it

With how you two mostly meet up to go out and get fucked up that is also when you exchange some gossip

Like hell yeah she will listen but it's not really something that interests her in the long run

And she is usually drunk or on drugs (but probably both to be honest) 

So don't really expect her to remember everything you told her if you want to update her on something

For her, it's mostly one ear in and out the other 

But that is really only for random people that she doesn't care about 

If it is one of her friends or if you have some trouble she will try to be more attentive and actually help you out

Even if she is high as a kite she would never leave a friend hanging

Velvette :

Velvette usually knows everything about the drama going on online

She really enjoys gossiping and it isn't unusual for her to call you up if she has something particularly juicy

Often invites you over to her place so you two can chill with some food and talk about all the shit going on around you

Wouldn't be surprising that if you two are close she also tells you about insider tea going on around the V tower 

However, she has to trust you that you won't share anything that could actually harm the V's

Even if you tried to spread something about them it wouldn't go far

Divider: @thecutestgrotto

[zepskies]

hi! so I had a question, how long did it take you to build a following on tumblr? how long have you been writing for spn as a whole (I assume you started with it but I’m not sure I meant when did you start writing on the app mostly) and do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you for other people? (I hope the wuestion made sense)

Hi there, lovely anon!

Oh, these are great questions, and I'm happy to answer. I'm going to be referencing this post, as someone asked me a similar question.

I also talk a lot about my beginning fanfic/coming to Tumblr experience and building a following in this interview I did with the @idlingintheimpalapodcast.

That being said, here's how I got started in SPN fandom and on Tumblr, and 6 Tumblr Tips related to how I've tried to grow my blog:

Learn How Tumblr Functions

Create a Tag List

Posting Schedules, Announcements, and Sneak Previews

People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements) + shoutouts to blogs I looked to for inspo

Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy

When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs

Deeper dive below the cut:

Writing for SPN & Starting on Tumblr

To be honest, I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to Tumblr. I've written for many different fandoms over the 15 years or so I've been writing fanfic, but I've been writing for Supernatural in particular since around 2015. I wrote on platforms like Fanfiction.net, and later I moved over to Ao3.

I dabbled with Tumblr starting in 2021 while I was working on a Billy Butcher x OC story for the Boys (And So It Goes). But after watching the last season of SPN, I got the SPN bug again, so I started dipping back into the fandom.

But I wasn't really that active on Tumblr until January 2023, when I wrote my first soulmate AU series for Dean Winchester, called Never Say Goodbye (Dean x soulmate!Reader).

That started a very fun journey for me in the Tumblr world, engaging with people and making friends here with awesome people! 💕

Now, here are a few tips on what I've learned in building my following. You don't have to do exactly what I did. This is just my advice based on my personal experience here:

Tip #1: Learn How Tumblr Functions

Everything has been a process of trial and error. I have a professional background in content and social media marketing, so that knowledge has helped me a lot with some elements I'll get into later.

But it took me time to learn the Tumblr landscape. I had to figure out:

Why it's important to reblog -- not just your own work in replying to people's comments, but what you read and enjoy. It's what makes Tumblr go 'round.

The different mobile vs. desktop views and functions.

How to format my posts and use hashtags that would best optimize my fics and posts, based on the most followed tags in the fandom I was writing for.

How to create design elements, like banners, dividers, and headers that matched my aesthetic and the fandom.

Make sure my blog is easy to read, visually, and easy to navigate, technically (links to my masterlists, series masterlists, tag list, my fic library side blog, Patreon, etc.).

I'm still adjusting all these things now and then as I figure out new ways to keep readers engaged, and make my blog as easy to navigate as possible.

Tip #2: Create a Tag List

A tag list is a list of blog users that request to be tagged in your upcoming fics. (See this post on tips for formatting tag lists and optimizing hashtags on posts.)

Some authors don't do tag lists anymore because they find it a hassle (and it can be), but even if you're just starting out, advertise your tag list -- I suggest at the end of a fic and in your bio, your masterlist, and/or navigation page. It will get more eyes on your posts, and hopefully more engagement.

I used Google Forms to build up my tag lists because it's easy to use and it creates a Google spreadsheet for you based on the responses you get (an idea I got from another writer who was doing the same thing). You can also create more sheets within the file to organize the responses by character, for example.

On my tag list, I gave readers options to choose which character they wanted to be tagged on based on the fandoms I write for. I also created tag lists for new series to go with the series masterlist. Like I said above, I created spreadsheets for each of these lists within my tag list form master sheet.

Now, you don't have to do it exactly this way. There are many ways to keep track of a tag list.

Some people may think my approach is too much work, but this was very successful for me in building up my tag lists and increasing my following. Staying organized is key! 🤓✌🏽

I have since created a side blog @zepskieswrites for people to follow with notifications on, since my character tag lists are full.

Tip #3: Posting Schedules, Announcements & Sneak Previews

When my blog started to gain traction from my first SPN series, I knew I wanted to post consistently to keep people's interests. For me, this meant once a week (sometimes more if the mood strikes me), to keep that momentum going. YouTube vloggers do the same thing for this reason. They have a set posting schedule and give announcements.

You don't have to post once a week. You don't even have to have a set schedule. That's just what I did last year to increase engagement, but also because I love to write, I was getting inspired, and I made the time for it!

Remember that writing and sharing your work and being a part of the fandom on Tumblr is supposed to be fun! At the same time, what you get out of something depends on how much time you have to put into it.

Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve put a lot of time and energy into my writing and my blog, but only because it’s been very fun to do it! 😉

Now, going back to being consistent. It can help you! When people know they have content waiting for them by a certain timeframe, and they see that you stick to that deadline, they're more likely to tune in and engage with your work.

Of course, real life comes first, always, and things can derail you, but on the whole I make sure that I keep my word when I say I'm going to post something. Tumblr has a scheduling feature that allows you to schedule posts ahead of time, which I use on a daily basis. That can help you as well.

To try and generate buzz around new stories, I give writing updates or announcements, often with sneak previews, and the dates when I plan to drop the upcoming story. When I'm writing a series, on each chapter I give a preview of the next one, so I can try to keep people invested and waiting for the next chapter.

Tip #4: People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements)

A huge element of successful content and social media is visuals. The first thing people are often drawn to when they look at a web page, an ad, or any kind of digital content is the picture -- and any other visual elements. Then they look at the title/headline, followed by the rest of the story.

This is why I always lead with the title of the story/headline and a GIF or image at the top of the post for a story. Draw readers in with their eyes to the visual, and then the content. I now create my own design elements, including story headers.

When I got started here on Tumblr, I also took a closer look at how other popular blogs I admired were organizing their masterlists, formatting their stories with banners, dividers, tags/warnings, word count, creating tag lists, and more -- both to create their blog aesthetic and to make it easier for readers to enjoy their work on different levels -- the content itself, and the visual elements.

Shoutouts to some of those writers I looked to, who have a lovely blog aesthetic and organization: @luci-in-trenchcoats @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Form and function is a balance, and they should work together. For example, there are some design/post formatting elements that are getting popular now on Tumblr that I personally don't vibe with, because I think it takes away from the reader's experience.

Like making the entire post or story in small case. Readers that have trouble seeing small fonts won't want to read this.

or making everything in the story lower case. this just bothers me for grammatical reasons. guarantee i will be turned off from reading. 😂

Also, most people browse Tumblr on their phone rather than on desktop. (About 62% according to current Semrush statistics.) So certain things that are small in your desktop version will be even smaller on mobile.

If you have a custom blog design, some design elements may not transfer well visually on mobile vs. desktop, and vice versa. So you'll want to check both versions to see how it looks, and possibly make adjustments.

Now, this isn't to say you have to become a graphic designer if that's not your thing. There are plenty of people who share their lovely designs for free, as long as you make sure to credit them if you use one of their banners, dividers, etc. Check out @cafekitsune and @firefly-graphics, for example.

Some of them even take requests. Just make sure to check their bio to see if they state whether they're currently taking requests or not. (This also goes for writers on fic requests.)

Tip #5: Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy

This is part of the fun when you start truly engaging with the fandoms you love.

Likes are cool. Comments are wonderful. Reblogs with comments are awesome, because not only do they get that engagement/feedback that they can reply to, but the reblog helps your fellow writers get seen. And while they aren't obligated to, they might be more inclined to do the same for you.

You'll also start to develop relationships within your fandom community. This is how I've made many friends and gained new readers on Tumblr -- by reblogging, sharing, commenting on what I liked about the fics I read. 💜

I try my best to support my fellow writers, no matter how new or how popular they are. Just because a writer has a bigger following, doesn't mean they appreciate feedback any less.

Feedback gives us writers energy and fuels us to write more. It can lead to more inspiration, and to continue the series you might be so invested in.

So if I took the time to read something, if I enjoyed it, I'm usually reblogging it and sharing my thoughts, even if it's just a gif or a couple of lines, or a long raving review. 💖

Tip #6: When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs

Along with supporting my fellow writers, engaging with the lovely people who read my work is just good fun! It's the best part of sharing my work on here and on Ao3. And it lets them know that you value and appreciate them for taking the time to comment and/or comment in a reblog. 💓💓💓

I hope these tips are helpful! Now, to answer your last question...

Do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you

[to build a following] for other people?

Interesting, but the truth is, I'm not sure. My knowledge of content and social media marketing has probably given me a leg up, I think, even though it took me a while to learn the Tumblrscape. I've also been writing fanfic for a long time. Long before I ever heard about Tumblr.

I've spent years studying literature, creative writing, and screenwriting, and putting it into practice. I've spent years writing for other voices besides my own, outside of the fanfic world. Like anyone else, I can only go by what I've learned, my own instincts, my frame of reference, and what I want to write about next.

Like anyone else, I can only hope that what I put out there vibes with people and touches them in some way, enough that they feel comfortable letting me know what they thought about it. 💜

In the meantime, I'll just keep getting inspiration from this guy (and other characters):

[topazadine]

On Fandom Entitlement

It seems every week, there's a new spate of ungrateful fanfic readers complaining about fanfic, whether that's whining that their favorite story hasn't updated or that the work isn't of the same caliber as they would expect from a book they paid for.

"This hobbyist wrote horrible dialogue! Pillory them!"

"Oh no, fic writers use this as catharsis! How horrible!"

I believe this stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of who they are as a reader and what fanfic is as a whole.

Entitled fanfic readers like this have a specific problem: they think they are consumers rather than fellow hobbyists.

Consumers are allowed to expect a certain level of quality from the item or experience that they purchased. (Note well the purchasing aspect.) They have protections under law, are encouraged to leave feedback for the benefit of other consumers, and can demand a refund if necessary.

With fanfic, no money is changing hands - in fact, no money CAN legally change hands, because the writer is dabbling in someone else's intellectual property.

Readers didn't purchase anything, have no legal protections, and can't take recourse if they're dissatisfied, because they willingly chose to engage with the work without any expectation of quality. The reader lost nothing whatsoever by opening that fic other than some of their free time. (Note well the "free" time aspect.)

Many people use this analogy, and I completely agree: reading fanfic is like getting a free meal from a family member or friend. It's not going to be restaurant quality; you wouldn't expect it to be, even if that person is a great cook or professional chef. If you didn't like it, you don't demand they make you something better or refund you, because that'd be insane. You eat it, thank the person who graciously made you something, and keep your opinions to yourself unless they ask you for feedback.

And if you act like an asshole and tell them to their face that their cooking is awful, you shouldn't expect them to make you anything else. Same as fanfic writers often leave their fandoms because entitled readers complain about their work and demand tailor-made fic for free.

Some complain that they'll just read professional work from now on because fanfics are so awful, a la this gem:

What they don't seem to understand is that every writer needs to practice, and fanfic is one of the best ways to do so because there are no consequences.

No one springs from the womb as a literary genius; you need to spend years honing your talents. I've been writing for well over 15 years now, but I only started to become really confident in my skills after writing over 1 million words of fanfiction as practice. I wouldn't have bothered creating my own OCs and writing a trilogy if I hadn't gotten so much positive feedback from readers of my Touken Ranbu fics.

When you're a bitch to fanfic writers and castigate them for imperfections, you are directly limiting the professional literature you'll have in the future. You're telling people that unless they're perfect, they might as well not try at all, and then they don't reach that level. You expect free, professional-grade work that matches your current special interest, then wonder why your stock of new fics to enjoy is dwindling.

YOU are the problem when you waltz into AO3 with a consumer mindset. Not the fanfic writers providing you with free content. YOU.

And frankly, I wish someone would take your internet away until you take a course in fandom etiquette. Get out.

[olderthannetfic]

This is partly a vent and partly hoping someone reading this can offer some advice or at least insight into wtf the person/people doing this are hoping to accomplish.

Over the past few months, someone(s) has been sending purity policing “concerned” anon asks to people in my fandom, mostly about supposed untagged triggering content. Which sounds like standard anti bullshit at first glance, but there are some really weird aspects to this situation, and I don’t know what to make of it.

First, in both of the cases I’ve seen, the “untagged” content Concerned Anon complained about was comprehensively tagged, way beyond fandom norms. Concerned Anon is complaining about something that isn’t even true.

Second, the people who received these asks seem to me like really weird targets for anon harassment. From what I’ve seen, they’re both really nice people. Not in the Cult of Nice way, but in the welcoming to newcomers, supporting all shippers even the people who ship things they’re not into, willing to chat about even the most wild theory or headcanon you might have without judgment kind of nice. Good stewards of fandom, I guess is what I’m trying to say. So I don’t get why anyone would want to target them. Especially since one of them wasn’t even being harassed about their own work, but about a fic someone else wrote that they happen to like!

Third, if the source material for this fandom were a fic on AO3, it would easily meet the threshold for all archive warnings. This isn’t about Stephen King fandom, but it’s got that level of things antis lose their shit over. Why is Concerned Anon even in this fandom? Why are they ~*so concerned*~ over fic when canon is like that?

Since the first Concerned Anon ask, I’ve noticed a sharp drop-off not just in ~*problematic*~ fic, but in fic in the fandom in general. I know fandom engagement comes and goes and there could be a lot of reasons for that unrelated to Concerned Anon. I can even think of a couple specific reasons it would be happening in this fandom. But the timing rubs me the wrong way, especially since it doesn’t seem like there’s as much a of a drop-off in general fandom activity, and I’m worried the latest set of Concerned Anon asks will have an even more chilling effect on fic writers.

I hate that this is happening. I hate that people who are just out here making fandom fun are being targeted. I hate that it might be discouraging people who haven’t been targeted from writing. I hate the possibility that Concerned Anon is out there harassing other people in the fandom who haven’t responded to them or that I just haven’t seen. I hate that, as a complete fandom nobody, I probably have no power to do anything about this. I hate that the person or people behind Concerned Anon probably aren’t even going to have to face up to being this kind of shitty, because it’s all anonymous.

--

People pop up in the inboxes where the owner can get their comments in front of more eyeballs.

Of course they want to poison the blogs of the welcoming fans who get the newbies writing fic.

The way to combat them is for those bigger blogs to either ignore them entirely or to politely but firmly tell them where they can shove it while pointing out that they're a liar.

They're a toxic blight on other people's inspiration, and the "nice" blogs should tell them so. The failure to do so is going to have at least as much of a chilling effect as their shitty comments themselves.

[di-42]

2024 fic roundup

Finally getting round to doing this! Just in time for the end of the year!

Many, many thanks to @curiouspupsicle and @bellisima-writes for tagging me all those weeks ago, ant to @cheeseplants for creating the questions. Enjoy curious's answers here, bellisima's answers here, cheeseplants's answers here.

What fandoms do you write in?

Good Omens, only Good Omens, nothing but Good Omens.

How many words have you published in 2024?

133k. Huh! Me?

What is your greatest achievement this year?

In the context of fandom and fanfiction, being brave enough to put myself out there and share my work is probably my greatest personal achievement. But I'm also quite proud to have plotted an 85k fiction while working 55 hours a week (and being lucky enough to have a husband and friends to spend my free time with).

What are your favourite top three fics you wrote this year?

That's an easy one! None of my favourite three are the ones with more engagement, strangely enough!

And I Did, rated E, 85k.

While I know this could have been written much better, I am incredibly proud of this fiction. It's whole season 3 fiction where I managed to pour all my headcanon in a way that hopefully doesn't feel too forced. I think it has an original plot, good side characters and tension. I tried to throw in some humour wherever possible as well. It features Supreme Archangel Aziraphale and Grand Duke of Hell Crowley. They haven't talked for almost two years. The end of the world is approaching. They are on opposite sides. And they both know neither of them was ever going to make a different choice to the one they made.

Only Ever Meant For Someone Else, rated T, 9k.

My first human AU, wheee! It was so much fun to write! I think writing human AUs allows so much freedom, although one shots and shorter stories can be a bit harder than canon compliant short stories. But I had a chance to explore some versions of the characters that I don't really see in canon, but very much enjoy in fictions, and wanted to try my hand at that. And I liked the result! Written for the Scribbling Vaguely Downwards advent calendar.

Every year, the night before Christmas, taxi driver Aziraphale drives passengers to and from the hospital for charity. On the Christmas morning of 2023 he was ready to go home and rest with a cup of tea, a mince pie, and a book after a long night.

Guess who?

“No, you may not!” Barked the other. Then he started pacing up and down the pavement, rambling to himself. “Anathema’s going to kill me. She’s actually going to kill me! She had to go into labour on fucking Christmas day, just my luck!”

Oh, dear.

“In-into labour?”

The stranger stopped pacing and, yet again, looked at Aziraphale sternly. He joined together the tips of his right thumb and forefinger, and punctuated his next words with a gracious movement of his hand.

“Yeah. It means she’s about to give birth.”

“Does it, now.”

Angel! Angel! They're At It Again! rated M, 5k

I really love this little story of mine. I've been told that it made some readers cry and laugh at the same time, and it doesn't get much better than that.

It's the year 2030. The world never ended. Aziraphale and Crowley are living happily and safely together as a married couple. Everything would be well, if it wasn't that lately Aziraphale has been a bit busy. A bit distracted. Now, Crowley can't have that, can he? He seeks the advice of his girlfriends, who unwittingly give him an idea on how to liven up his marriage.

A fluffy story about how we get to a certain cottage.

What was your biggest pit of despair moment?

Tying up all the loose ends in And I Did. Sometimes it felt like I was just hitting a wall and I couldn't possibly ever go through. I felt so embarrassed -mortified, really- that some people had read the story up to a certain point and I had just to let them down, because I couldn't possibly write anything that would make sense with the rest of the story. Even though the main points were planned from the beginning, there were still all those little details that write themselves, basically, and I had no idea what to do with some of them towards the end. I still don't know how I managed to pull it off, honestly, but somehow I did it in a way that I found satisfying enough.

What have you learned?

That people are so much better than I am. Really. And I don't mean at writing fiction. Well, people are better than me at writing fiction, but that's not what I mean here. The amount of people who are ready to read about someone else's ideas and headcanons with an open mind, enjoy stories that they don't necessarily agree with, is astounding. I have very much to learn from this community.

What fic did you want to do but never made it off the ground?

I could tell you. But then I would have to erase your memory.

A fiction that has never made it off the ground is a fiction that has yet to make it off the ground.

Did you beta any fics? Any favs you want to shout out?

I was asked a couple of times, but due partly to my lack of time, partly to English not being my first language, I had to reluctantly decline. I do offer my thoughts on my betas' fictions, though. One of them hasn't published her work yet, and the other has a fantastic one shot on Ao3, called The Corset.

Aziraphale never understood just why he had been issued with a body likes his. He was the Guardian of the Eastgate, after all! So when in the 17th century corsets for men were fashionable again, he had an idea ...

What three fics have you read this year that you love?

Hah! We both know it's not going to be only three, don't we?

Some of these fics were written before, some long before, 2024, but I only read them this year. It's quite hard to pick my favourites among so much talent and creativity, but I'll do my best. I also can't help but notice that my all time favourites are not among the superpopular ones, so please don't be shy and check them out! (And leave kudos and comments!)

The Beginning Of The End (Again), rated M, 78k.

Season 3 fiction full of plot, great characterisation, humour and pining. It has of course a happy ending. It is beyond me how this fic didn't get more engagement, especially when it first came out, closer to the end of season 2.

The Anon Before Christmas, rated E, 66k.

One of my favourite human AUs. The characterisation is spot on and the slow burn is just absolutely perfect. But I did love the whole array of characters surrounding Crowley and Aziraphale. I love how this story is as much about friendship and chosen family than it is about love and romance.

The Bookseller And The Garden, rated T, 13k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley is a demon stationed on earth, Aziraphale is an angel stationed on earth, but they have never met until present day. There's no end of the world in sight, only an angel and a demon falling in love and not knowing how to break it to the other that they're not human. I laughed all the way through.

Wrong Turn, rated T, 37k.

Honestly, I don't know why this fiction touched me so much. I just couldn't stop thinking about it for days after I finished it. It's a post season 1 fiction where Crowley suddenly finds himself in a parallel universe at the time the apocalypse is just about to happen. The Crowley and Aziraphale in that universe have a different history to our Crowley and Aziraphale. All our Crowley wants to do is to go back to his universe and his very own angel, but how? As you follow the main plot and focus on Crowley's thoughts and actions, you'll start slowly feeling the other story get hold of you, and it won't let go until the very end and beyond.

Happiness, More Or Less, rated M, 21k

This human AU moved me so very much I cried. Crowley moves into his new flat in Soho, only to discover the flat in haunted by the ghost of the owner of the bookshop downstairs. I won't tell anything else about the plot other than it does have a very sweet happy ending, and it gets there via a rollercoaster of emotions. This is really one of those fictions that leave me in awe of the fandom's talent and creativity. Read it, read it, read it!

One last one that I haven't finished reading yet, but I know it's one of my all time favourites, is The Last Angel, rated E, 162k.

Canon divergent fiction where Crowley and Aziraphale were never assigned to earth, Armageddon happened and hell won the war. I've said many things about this fiction, among which that I can't believe the writer does this in her spare time and writing is not actually her job, and this is the most Good Omens-y fic I have ever read. It's astoundingly good.

What ideas are percolating for next year?

Watch out for The Angel Horror Show! When I learned that Peter Hinwood, the actor who played Rocky in The Rocky Horror Picture Show didn't have a long career as an actor, bout instead went on to become an antiques dealer, I knew I had to write this fiction with Aziraphale as the actor who many years ago played Angel/Rocky in The Angel Horror Show and subsequent film The Angel Horror Picture Show and is now living a comfortable life as a book and antiques dealer, and Crowley as the actor who played Demon/Frank, and went on to become a successful movie and theatre actor and director. I've just started writing it and I'm extremely excited about it!

Who do you want to thank?

Without the shadow of a doubt @sabine-smitten-obviously and IneffableShortCake who have been so incredibly generous with their time and support in the past 8 months! But also everyone who's ever left me a comment making me feel like my stories were liked, from the long comments to the ones with just enthusiastic syllables, from the incredibly witty ones to the more personal ones, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Tag, answer any Qs that suit and play along!

I think because I'm so late in the game that most of the writers I would usually tag have already been tagged by someone else, but perhaps a few haven't done this yet.

@smua70 @ngk-668 @ineffable-duck7

And anyone who wants to answer!

This was fun!