#and all his stan’s are defending him to hell and back

[ilions-end]

i finished statius' ACHILLEID. thoughts thoughts thoughts:

i knew going in it was a VERY short unfinished epic, but i didn't know it would be FUN?? if i ever get that time machine, FIRST THING i go back and find one publius papinius statius, i lock him in a room, and i'm NOT letting him out until he's finished the achilleid!

achilles is statius' BLORBO in a way neither homer, quintus nor virgil have blorbos. statius likes achilles to be strong and pretty and graceful, but most of all ENDEARING even when he fails. and he fails a lot, because this is him still figuring out how to be an adult, not to mention a prophesied legend literally everyone is waiting for to step up

the one thing that gets tiring is just how many prophecies permeate the achilleid. nothing's left to chance, there are so few unknowns. even ODYSSEUS was aware that from peleus' wedding there would come a child destined to be a central warrior in an upcoming gigantic war.

as it stands, the achilleid is more of a... thetisiad? she is very centered in the narrative (we spend more time looking at things from her point of view than achilles') and there is SO MUCH SYMPATHY for her, oh my gosh!! she loves ONE person, her son, the only worthwhile thing she got out of a traumatizing marriage, and she despairs that he's fated to die young in a silly human war.

also i'm a deidamia defender forever now. so three-dimensional, so clever!

aughhh i love how much characterization statius puts in, even in the small scenes! my favourite example is odysseus and diomedes as they walk up to lycomedes' place (literally just moving characters from A to B). diomedes teases odysseus, and odysseus is delighted to be teased. that night we're told odysseus CAN'T SLEEP because he's too excited about showing off his plan the next morning!

the unveiling of achilles is completely different from the chagrined defeat/"achilles is a fucking idiot" ways i've heard it retold! i love that it's collaborative, it's a mutual triumph. it's just as much achilles (who's been suffering in gender dysphoria hell for a year) longing to be exposed as it is odysseus LIVING for showing everyone (especially diomedes?) how clever he is. it's not just the shield and the spear and the bugle, it's odysseus playing the part of the siren, whispering in achilles' ear that he knows who he is and describing how glorious he will be on the trojan battlefield. it's achilles' grateful relief at being ALLOWED not to pretend anymore as he rips off his own dress even before the bugle calls

also it's very important to me that the moment he's no longer hunching over trying to make himself look small and inoffensive, we're told achilles is taller than both odysseus and diomedes

i KEEP IMAGINING how good statius would have made the rest!! especially because as book ii ends, achilles regards odysseus as a cool uncle; he's the guy who rescued him! i want to think statius would have put in the big mystery quarrel achilles and odysseus are said to have had early in the war, something to drastically change that affection. i want to know how statius would have handled troilus, and the gods. augh statius you roman BLUEBALLER

an assortment of story beats still revolving in my head:

chiron is such a sweetheart!! he's SO gallant with thetis, he's so affectionate with achilles. he HIDES HIS TEARS when achilles leaves, awww

statius writes out phoinix completely. as a phoinix stan i object. sure chiron can raise young achilles, but i NEED phoinix to tend to him as a baby

i enjoy how achilles EXPLODES into a mess of teenagerly hormones when he first sees deidaima. it's so funny that thetis is looking on (and we get my favourite simile of the achilleid, of a herdsman delighting in a young bull snorting and foaming at a beautiful heifer) like "aaaaand there's my son's sexual awakening. i see! well, we can use that" and THAT explains why achilles is so willing to commit to the female disguise

(listen. listen. few things mean more to me than the love between achilles and patroclus. but achilles is a teenage boy at the age when a fucking breeze will give him a boner, and deidamia is the most beautiful and the cleverest of her sisters. i really enjoy a story where achilles and deidamia are neither "fated eternal true love" or one's a sneaky opportunist. it's much more compelling that they're both knots of budding emotions and bodily feedback)

i notice that statius never uses the name pyrrha, he doesn't seem to have a fake name at all, just "achilles' sister"

lycomedes is SO honoured and proud that thetis is entrusting her daughter to him. i feel sorry for lycomedes, he seems so earnest and hasn't done anything to get tricked

the one thing i can't forgive statius for is that after spending SO much time establishing that achilles and deidamia (who knows he's a guy) are genuinely into each other, it feels like statius goes OUT OF HIS WAY assuring us that their first sexual encounter is rape. sure they talk right after, deidamia forgives him, AND i understand there are social rules that makes deidamia more "honourable" and "worthy" when she resists, but like. sigh.

aLONG with the previously mentioned interplay between odysseus and diomedes as they walk up to lycomedes' court, there's a simile where they're both starving wolves on the hunt. so sexy it's almost illegal

the feast scene is SO FUNNY omg. all of achilles' careful feminine training dissolving because odysseus and diomedes are there with their boundless masculinity for him to feed off of. deidamia practically WRESTLING achilles back down on the couch every time he forgets himself and behaves too much like a man. odysseus chatting with lycomedes SPECIFICALLY trying to rile up achilles, and then after the women have left (achilles dragging his feet and looking back, YEARNING for their male company) odysseus specifically praises the maiden's "almost masculine" beauty (because ohh he suspects. he just needs to prove it in the morning. he can't SLEEP for it)

when they depart, achilles earnestly swears to deidamia that no other women shall ever bear his children. i find it interesting as a reminder of the social rules of its era. neither of them expect achilles to be sexually exclusive, just not fathering potential heirs. which again makes me wonder about the contraceptives in ancient greece

on the ship towards aulis, diomedes begs achilles to tell them all about his feats and training with chiron, and achilles is so shy about it! who can blame him! diomedes has a WAY more impressive track record

odysseus is SO good at firing up achilles' outrage at paris even as he's just catching him up on what the war's about. and he's so pleased at how easily achilles' outrage can be directed! you KNOW that would have developed in such an interesting way AUGH THE REST WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD.

[joyfulhottubfuntik]

Here's one more stan twins headcanon, because i like thinking about them.

Ford has never really liked their dad, despite seeking his approval. That only solidified when Stan was kicked out, even though Ford didn't really blame Filbrick back then, it was more of a subconscious resentment building in him that he didn't fully understand and never thought about. And years later, when he and Stan are finally on good terms again, Ford learns more and more about the things his brother had been through and realises that Filbrick is to blame for most, if not all of them, let alone for the brothers' initial falling out. And at this point Ford is absolutely ready to throw hands with their father and absolutely would if the man were still alive.

Stan, however, is, despite his tough exterior, by far the more forgiving of the two. He's inclined to look for excuses for everything his father had put him through. Like, Stan's thought process would be that all of the abuse he'd endured in his childhood was alright because it toughened him up and if it hadn't, he wouldn't have lasted a day in the streets. But he would completely ignore the fact that he wouldn't have even ended up homeless if it weren't for his dad. Basically, his self worth is in hell, so, if anyone treats him shittily, he's very much inclined to assume that he deserved it.

So all discussions about their childhood between the two would always be one second away from turning into arguments. Stan would defend his father's actions towards himself and Ford would be in such complete shock and disbelief over how the fuck his brother's so fine with all of that. And of course neither would be able to express their thoughts in a somewhat healthy and emotionally intelligent way and of course it would lead to fights.

[darlingdaisyfarm]

can I have something with Stan in his scamming era? (where he founded Stan Co. Enterprises) 🙏🙏 begging you because damn that man looked so hot here

💸₊˚⊹ kiss me, i’m not buying 𖦹.ᡣ𐭩˚ salesman!Stan Pines x reader

a/n: here it is! ugh, the grip this man has on me. i didn’t know whether to make this smut or sfw (believe me, i debated it for way too long), so i went the sfw route this time, but i’d be more than happy to write something spicier for salesman!Stan if y’all are interested !! 

you're standing in the middle of a sketchy flea market just off the highway and honestly it’s not exactly where you’d pictured spending your saturday afternoon, wandering through the rows of mismatched booths, scanning piles of junk that no sane person could ever need.

it's hot, too sticky, gross. your shirt clings to your back and you're already regretting stopping here.

but just as you’re about to leave, your eyes land on him. a man in a teal shirt with a collar so wide it’s begging for attention, leaving his chest hair on display that he’s clearly proud of, along with a chunky gold chain around his neck. his suitcase has clearly seen better days, but what sets him apart from the crowd is his wide smile, like he’s about to either sell you a miracle or steal your last dime. 

of course, you’d seen him around, not in person, but in loud, greasy ads on TV where he was always shouting, waving some half-broken thing, performing like it was gold, spitting promises about "how much you could make!" with a grin that could sell you your own reflection and make you think you needed to buy it.

and just because you’re lucky, he clocks you immediately. his eyes light up, oh a jackpot, Stan thinks. and before you can even pretend to be invisible, he’s striding over like he’s just found a hundred-dollar bill lying on the sidewalk. the suitcase bounces in his grip with each step and you’re already brainstorming ways to politely eject yourself from this situation.

"hey there, sweetie!" he talks warmly, kindly, so charismatic as if he’s known you forever and isn’t trying to scam you out of your wallet. “lookin’ for the deal of the century? 'cause I got it right here.” 

who even talks like that? your first thought is to walk away, but he doesn’t wait for your reply, flipping open his battered suitcase with a dramatic fwoosh, inside is a chaotic mess of. . . you don’t even know how to call it, whatever the hell this is.  

garbage. actual garbage.

“behold!” Stan announces, plucking out what looks like a glorified spatula, holding it up like it’s excalibur. “the ‘multi-purpose super-scraper deluxe!’ clears snow, scrapes gum, defends yer honor in a bar fight! this baby does it all.”

you blink, thinking, processing. then blink again. there’s no fucking way this man is serious.

“uh,” you squint at him, trying to keep a straight face. “why. . . would I need that?”  

Stan gasps like you just insulted his mother. “why wouldn’t ya? c’mon, sweetheart, yer too smart not to see the potential here! no more sticky messes, no more snowed-in mornings! and if some jerk at the bar gives ya trouble,” he mimics an exaggerated swing with the scraper, accompanied by sound effects. “you clock ‘em with the handle. it’s genius!”

your lips twitch, fighting not to curve into a grin. he’s ridiculous. his whole speech is absurd, but goddamn if it isn’t entertaining. he’s so into it, so unabashedly shameless, that you can’t help but laugh.

noticing your reaction, which he honestly expected, Stan leans closer, lowering his voice like he’s about to tell you some big, mind breaking secret. “tell ya what, baby. normally, this masterpiece’d run ya twenty bucks. but for you,” he winks. "fifteen! and maybe somethin’ else.”  

your brow arches. “somethin’ else? like what?”  

Stan rubs the back of his neck, pretending to be some shy, harmless guy who’s definitely not scamming you. “aw, nothin’ much. just a teensy lil kiss on the cheek, y’know, for good luck. gotta keep the ol’ sales streak alive!”

you freeze for a beat, caught off guard by his audacity and you hesitate. not because you’re scared, he’s too goofy to be threatening, but because you’re trying to figure out his angle. is he serious? does he actually think this will work?  

but the worst part is that it works. you hate yourself for not being able to reject, and him for being so damn smiley, friendly and charismatic. his shamelessness, his outrageous speech, the sheer brazenness, it all works against you in ways you hate to admit.

“fine,” you mutter, crossing your arms. “one kiss. but only if this thing actually scrapes gum off my shoe.”  

“deal!” his grin stretches impossibly wider in triumph, and you already know you’ve lost.  

you lean in cautiously, heart kicking up just a little, despite your best efforts to stay calm. it’s a kiss on the cheek. nothing weird. nothing big. quick, harmless, done. but just as your lips are about to brush his skin he— he what?!

the bastard moves, turns his head at the last possible second, so instead of his cheek, your lips collide with his.

you should stop, you must pull away and slap him hard for pulling that kind of shit, but for some reason you don’t. you let him kiss you and it feels warm, too good, contrary to his nature as a cunning salesman. Stan’s hand grazes your arm, daring you to stay in the moment even as your head spins. but then realisation comes, a little common sense hits you and you jerk back with wide eyes, looking at him in shock, stunned and breathless.

pleased with himself, Stan smiles cheekily at you with smug expression, looking as if he had just committed the greatest robbery of his life.

“well, what do ya know?” he chuckles, running a finger over his lips. “good luck for both of us.”  

what you don’t expect is to run into him again. weeks later, at another flea market, and then again at a diner on the highway.

the third time, Stan grins like it’s fate. “oh, ain’t this somethin’, sweetie? maybe the universe itself wants us to keep bumpin’ into each other.”

[bloodchapell]

vanished — stanley s. SIDE B; part one

brief summary: darkish turn on this request (SIDE A)

what to expect: physical and verbal violence, underage drinking, underage smoking, mentions of stabbing, cliché-y teenage rebellion, stealing, minor reference to s.a

your sword's note: someone create a time machine and take me to see crystal castles pleaseeee, this ended up being kinda long and ill have to do a part 2 to space it out better. more on my mistresslist

During his junior year of high school, Stanley got a girlfriend. She was a popular girl that had asked him out and somewhat clueless he had accepted. He didn't find her pretty, even when he would hear that she was, he didn't find her interesting, he didn't even like her. What he liked was the attention, the occasional gifts and definetely mocking her with Xeno.

"On god I will beat that girl." She babbled whole putting makeup on the lunch table. "She pushed me with her shoulder in the hallway."

Stanley and Xeno looked at each other, holding a laughter. When she saw you carrying your tray of food and seating in a corner she whispered to her friends that it was you. They immediately encouraged her to get up and talk, so she did. While they rambled about whatever latest thing they thought was important, Xeno told Stanley that he had AP physics with you but had no idea what your name was because you had been at the school for about a week.

"Won't you do anything to stop her?" Xeno asked and Stanley shrugged, giving each other the look that meant they could explode laughing at any moment.

"Meet me in the field by the school after class bitch. If you don't come I will find you and end you."

No response. The cafeteria was silent listening to the threat.

The day went on as usual. Though Xeno was building a more complex gun and Stanley was helping him as usual, they stayed behind to watch, it was always funny to watch that girl get in trouble and mock her.

It was odd that you were already standing in the field after school. Her friends and the people that were watching stood around, and she walked towards the front.

"What the hell is your problem?" She asked, no response.

"Oh she is in my class." Some random student called, saying your name attached. Stanley turned around, it sounded familiar.

At your silence, she approaches you and slaps your face.

"You all saw that right?" You ask, she is confused, when you hear the 'yes' from the crowd, you continue speaking. "It wasn't me who started, so legally I am allowed to defend myself."

"Shut the fuck up." She pushed you. Nothing. When she reached for your hair you moved back, dodging her hands.

"What is she doing?" Xeno asked his friend, referring to you.

"She is waiting for a good hit so she can excuse hitting back." It took Stanley a good second to reply, his chest beating so fast that he felt a little dizzy. He was nervous, excited to watch.

Once the girl threw her fist at you, you let her hit you. And then it was on. A communal gasp when the smack of your knuckles against her face drowned the rest of the sounds in the field. Stanley observed agape, that was not a punch like his girlfriend gave in her kitty fights, it was a real punch that had thrown her to the ground.

"Get up." You asked, she touched her face offended and launched herself at your feet, but her tackle barely made you stumble and instead gained her a kick. Stanley made note of it again, not a kick to simply push her away, a kick like one he would have given in a fight. Once her friends realized that you were for real, they dragged her away.

"I hope you haven't forgotten my name, so you can look it up in the town's judiciary records, bitch."

You took your backpack and left.

"Let's go Stan, we have to look her up." Xeno pulled on his friend’s jacket but he was already walking towards his girlfriend, who was being tended by her equally idiotic friends.

"Look, I can't have my reputation tarnished, I have never lost in a fight and this makes me look back by association." The blonde said to the girl condescendinly. "It's better if we break up, you know?"

She screamed so loud you could hear it down the block; you paid it no mind. Stanley walked towards his friend and they got in the blonde’s car, driving to Xeno's house. They ate lunch and despite his previous excitement to keep building his latest gun, Xeno sat by the computer to look you up in the judiciary records website.

"Assault in first degree. Sentenced to one year in juvenile detention." Xeno read out loud. "What on earth..."

Stanley remembered then, a year before he had heard about a girl from school going to juvie.

The next day at school, he heard that the principal gave you detention, so he stood up in his algebra class and cussed out the teacher to get detention too, and he did. At the end of the day, he walked towards the classroom where detention was held and upon entering he saw you already sitting there. You were quiet, listening to music and drawing on a notebook.

"That's a cool drawing." He slid a note to your desk. You looked at him.

"Thank you." A concise response and you went back to the drawing.

"So what did you do?" He asks.

"You were there yesterday." You remind him and his heart drops, of course, how stupid. "Why are you talking to me?"

"Out of curiosity." He replied honestly seeing that the lying card had failed already.

The teacher then interrupted saying that she would be going to the bathroom for a second, and walked outside locking the door. As soon as she left, you got up, opened the window and threw your bag out.

“I have tried that, doesn’t work.” He pointed out, but you place your hands at the length of his shoulders and then at the length of yours, of course, your body was smaller and it had no problem slipping out through the small gap of the window. He sees that you don’t leave just yet, and a few seconds later the window opens on its entirety. Surprised he goes through the window and sees you holding a screwdriver. “Why do you carry a screwdriver to school?”

“How about you start minding your business?” You close the window and start walking.

He doesn’t know what method to use to approach you, but he keeps trying. He follows you with the excuse that he also happens to be going in that direction. When he sees you taking out a cigarette pack and taking one, he speaks again.

“You smoke too?” His question seems to get your attention. You nod, and as a common courtesy between smokers you give him a cigarette too. “Damn these are expensive.”

“Nothing is expensive when you get it for free.” You pat his back and pass him the lighter. His eyes dance around your bruised hands.

And he thought he was the biggest delinquent around; at least he had the decency of buying his vice. You keep walking and he keeps following you, the weather remains gloomy and hopeless.

“Xeno said you have AP physics. How?” Stanley says trying to have a conversation; you seem to not know who he is referring to for quite some time until it clicks in your head.

“Oh, yes, the one you’re always with.” You point out, he lets out a laughter. “Why would you assume that I can’t be in AP physics with your twink boyfriend? Do you happen to be stupid? Only the brilliant know the tight relationship between intelligence and rebellion.”

“I assumed you were more similar to me than to him, but maybe it’s a middle ground.” He says ignoring the banter around his dubious friendship with Xeno and you huff surprised. "So why are you on the town's judiciary records."

"Oh that actually was a reach." You say exhaling the smoke. "But I am assuming you looked it up."

"Assault on first degree and one year of juvie is a reach?" He laughed incredulous.

"It is nothing serious, once I tell the story it will loose power." You say stopping in the middle of the street. "So?"

"So?" He repeats not understanding.

"So where do we sit?" You ask and he smiles. He asks if the diner close by is fine and you nod. By the time you get to the diner, both of your cigarettes are done. For some mysterious reason Stanley is happy you obliged into talking with him. You two sit in a both, facing each other, the waiter asks if you want anything, Stanley gets coffee and you ask for tea.

"I detest coffee." You say almost as a punctuation to his sentence, the waiter smiles awkwardly not knowing what to say and leaves. "Before I start, you will have to reciprocate my sharing."

"I'll tell you my social security number if you want." He says. "You can write it down."

"Okay, I'll start." You laugh. "I live in a two story house. On the first floor there lived a couple of heroine addicts my grandma rents to. 5 years ago they had a daughter. Since they are ass, I have taken care of her as if she is my own blood. Last year, I couldn't pick her up from daycare one day, so her mother did. When I got home, she was in my room in the second floor, she was fidgety, so I asked her what was up. She didn't say anything so I went downstairs and asked her fucked up mom and she said that her dealer had briefly touched the kid. So I naturally beat the shit out of the woman, and unfortunately I am not the best at managing my emotions so I took her phone and called him back, I took one of the knives from her kitchen and stood by the porch waiting. When he saw me he started walking away but I chased him down and well ended up slashing his face and stabbing him around. The neighbors called the police and well, I got lucky the judge was a woman and the jurors pleaded in my case, so I didn't get charged with aggravated assault —that would have gotten me into real jail—, and they only gave me a year. So before they took me away I begged my grandma to take my little bird in and she did, after what went down, her parents got big time jail for a bunch of things and the kid had nowhere to go so well. It is not like I am going to do that to some high school cunt for slapping me but might as well mention it just in case."

"That's a lot..." After a while he said. "Is she okay?"

"She is okay." You nodded.

"Did you have a hard time in juvie?" He asked and you shook your head immediately.

"Not really, most people there loved children and respected what I did, the low rest didn't care because I mind my business; I define minding my business as not getting into uncalled shit until it concerns me." You shrugged receiving the tea and he laughed, understanding what you meant to say, unless someone crossed you, you had no reason to get them back. "So what do you have to share, sissy boy?"

"Do you not know my name?" Stanley asked, jokingly offended. You shook your head.

"Is there a reason why I should know it? Have you done some crazy big thing?" You asked defiant and he stayed quiet.

"I haven't done anything crazy big." He repeated your words. "Just petty stuff."

You shrugged telling him that it didn't matter. For the rest of the afternoon you talked about pointless stuff while drinking each your own beverage.

"Next week, let's sneak into the Crystal Castles concert in Houston." When it gets dark and you part on your separate ways, you tell him. He doesn't know what Crystal Castles is but he agrees immediately. He has to walk back home since he left his car at school, he sighs but he doesn't care as much when he thinks again of you, a spectacle of magic in the void of suburban town hell.

The next day at school during lunch, Stanley drags Xeno along to sit beside you. His now ex girlfriend is fuming at the sight but none of you care, for starters neither Stanley or Xeno would take her seriously before and she wouldn't even dare think about humiliating herself again in a fight with you. After some conversation between the three of you, you learn that they are in fact not dating (shocker) and that Stanley actually used to date the fight girl, you ask if Xeno is also crazy and when both of them shrug kind of nodding, you tell him to tag along for the concert. The week passes by and the following Monday, the three of you skip class and go to Houston. Stanley is driving when suddenly his car breaks down and even though he gets off to figure out what is going on, he doesn't know what is happening.

"Why do you carry a screwdriver? They said." You shake your head getting off the car and seeing the motor. In a few minutes you fix the problem.

"Do you belong to the category of tomboy girls that have a liking for cars?" Xeno asks.

"No, I like mechanics but not in the 'I am one of the boys because I know about cars' way but in the 'I am going to study engineering and Lock Heed Martin might recruit me to build missiles' way."

They both laugh and suddenly confess their borderline criminal record on building full on weapons (borderline only because they have not been caught yet). You praise them. Eventually you arrive at Houston, Stanley parks some streets down and you walk to the venue.

"We are here to clean the bathrooms." You say at the back entrance where only the staff works and they nod.

"Is it really that easy?" Stanley asks once they let you walk in.

"I guess."

Xeno had no idea what kind of music that was, and Stanley had only listened to the first songs he found when he looked them up, but regardless they enjoy the concert so much that they suggested driving all the way to Dallas to sneak into the concert next day.

"Actually?" You asked.

"I don't care." They both replied. Instead of driving home, Stanley gets on the road to Dallas and decides to park over at some random store's parking lot in the middle of nowhere. You and Stanley get off the car to take a smoke while Xeno complains inside about the dangers of nicotine.

"I like the name Stanley." You say tapping the cigarette so the ash falls off. "It suits you."

"What the hell does that mean?" He laughs, but eventually thanks you not knowing what you were talking about.

You spend the night in the car, playing cards in the backseat and talking about nothing in concrete. You don't realize the moment in which you fell asleep but you do realize when Stanley shakes you to wake up.

"Woah calm down..." He says when you hit him with the screwdriver.

"This is also a weapon." Once you are awake you say putting the screwdriver down.

The drive to Dallas doesn't take more than 4 hours, so once you arrive you eat breakfast at some restaurant and spend the day at the mall you found on the way to the venue. Again, miraculously the three of you manage to sneak into the concert, and now since Alice seems to recognize you from the previous night she throws a shirt at you. Just as the last night, you jump along the crowd and they have no other option than to follow along, and the flashing lights go so fast at some points that you have to close your eyes for some seconds and your eyelids are full of colors, and whatever it is that someone is trying to tell the others is impossible to hear with the loud music that resonates down to the chest with the bass so high.

Once the concert is over you walk back to the car, stopping at a convenience store where Stanley grabs an energy drink while you basically peer pressure Xeno into walking around with a six pack of Smirnoff.

"Okay at count of three we run... Three!" You whisper to them and bolt out of the store, they are left confused for a second but have no other choice than running out and following you.

"Where is the car?" Xeno yells out of breath after you have done a lap around the block trying to find an escape from the angry clergyman that was running behind you.

"It is in the other fucking block..."

Crossing the street you all almost get run over and barely make it to the car.

For a minute or so you simply sit in silence looking at each other.

"That was the most fun I have had besides building a functional gun..." Xeno sighs happily while you rest your forehead against the window trying to catch your breath.

"No drinks for the designated driver, get your licenses god damnit..." Stanley sighs sadly while opening his can looking through the rear view mirror how you open two bottles and drink with Xeno.

After another 4 tortuous hours of driving back to Houston and some 45 minutes of driving to your fuckass town, with the music blasting and having to handle drunk you and equally drunk Xeno, Stanley parks in front of his friend's house to drop him off.

"Actually my parents are on a business trip... let's have a crazy party, yeah...!" Xeno laughs.

"Yeah, an amazing party, let's go, get everything ready..." You grab him and go inside his house. "Put some whatever around here and music and all..."

Stanley follows you two and simply stands idle while watching you two plummet to the sofa and fall asleep (or in a coma? god forbid). He sighs now feeling the effects of the energy drink wear off and the results of two sleepless nights of insane exertion catching up to him; he picks up Xeno and puts him in his parent's bed and then comes back for you and put you in Xeno's bed. He lays on the sofa and doesn't even realize when he falls asleep.

"We have to go to school!" Xeno's scream wakes you and Stanley up.

"Seriously? Who the fuck cares about school? Do you not have a massive headache?" You ask getting up not even wondering how you got there.

"It is already 7:50, we have ten minutes to get there..."

And so, the three of you end up at school and have possibly the worst day of school ever. Regardless, the three of you agree to meet after school to continue building whatever Xeno has on mind.

"I have to go to the bingo, take care of your little birdie." Your grandma passes by the school with the little girl, imitating you when saying her nickname.

Xeno and Stanley look at each other then at you, then at her.

"I missed you!" The little girl runs towards your legs and hugs you.

"Little birdie..." You sigh still tired but picking her up despite being exhausted. "These are my friends, Stan and Xeno, and you two, this is Angelica."

She greets shyly.

"I am six." She puts up her hands and they both nod with a smile.

You all walk to Xeno's house. Angelica narrates her day at elementary school in your arms and both guys chat with her. Once home, the three of you sit wondering what to do, not wanting to build a literal gun in front of the kid. You end up deciding to watch a movie.

"I have a doll in my bag." The kid points out. "We are not supposed to take toys to school but I would miss her."

"Hey, don't say it to everyone, what if the school finds out and takes her away?" You tell her and she shrugs.

"Well I will fight whoever tries to take my doll away."

Again Xeno and Stanley look at each other, no wonder who was raising little birdie and no wonder how she was talking. You end up watching some animated movie of her choice, they don't complain and once the movie is done they listen to her talks and agree with whatever she has to say.

You are happy, it seems now that you have good friends and over all, she is happy too.

[rynnthefangirl]

You’ll never catch me NOT defending a Pines twin.

Stan? All he ever wanted was his family’s love and respect. He would have done ANYTHING for Ford, he made mistakes but they were genuinely honest mistakes, he paid for them greatly and spent thirty years trying to fix things. He never meant to break Ford’s project, and he couldn’t have possibly known what the portal was. He just wanted to welcome his brother back with open arms, and got punched in the face for it. All his jealousy and anger towards Ford were totally understandable.

Ford? Stan’s mistakes may have been honest ones, but Ford still suffered greatly for them and it’s perfectly understandable for him to be angry and not quick to forgive his brother. Yes, he fucked up big time with Bill and that’s on him, but he would do ANYTHING to make things right. Also like how can you not feel bad for him, he went through actual Hell, first with Bill’s psychological torment and then spending 30 years hopping dimensions. Of course he’s paranoid and distrusting! Suffered more than anyone else, my poor grunkly meow meow.

Mabel? She didn’t know what the rift was! Nobody told her! She’s 12 years old for gods sake, of course she is easy to manipulate when she is extremely upset. And yeah she is awful to Dipper in Mabel Land, but she was literally being influenced by demonic brain magic, you can’t hold her accountable for all that. And the times when Dipper sacrificed for her was bc he was the one who SHOULD have made the sacrifice. Mermando and even Waddles are more important than Dipper having one good day on his totally doomed romantic pursuit of Wendy. Once Mabel was put in the situation where what she wanted wasn’t as important as what Dipper needed, she came through for him.

Dipper? I haven’t seen much criticism of him, and good because there shouldn’t be. My boy is brave and smart and would go through hell without hesitation for his sister. Sure he can fuck things up when he recklessly messes with supernatural stuff, but nobody’s perfect. As for his and Mabel’s fight at the end, Dipper didn’t do anything wrong. He was offered a huge opportunity from Ford and was just considering taking it. He should have told Mabel about the rift, but he was only doing what Ford said, his idol and mentor who has way more experience with Bill.

[shanklin]

What if Stan gives shanklin a mini-Mr. Mystery outfit!

The two be twinning!

Also I was thinking what if Stan has a slow arc of learning how to be comfortable or trust adults again.

For reasons he can’t explain, he has a hard time being able to talk to adult men, his heart pounds faster, he feels a little queasy, and his palms get sweaty. Soos is a unexpected exception, with Soos, maybe it’s his more relaxed personality or the way that Soos sits with him and treats Stan like a friend, that makes Stan relax around him.

However for someone new like Melody, not only do Stan’s insecurities flare up, but so does his fight, flight, freeze or fawn instincts activate as well.

Melody feels like a threat to him at first, but gradually, Stan starts to feel safe with her too.

Also the Grunks & Grants,

In a way, their flaws give them room to grow and self reflect. By realizing their mistakes they made with Stan, maybe they themselves can learn to heal from past wounds.

I kinda think of this scene where Mabel finally figured out she messed up, the core problem of why Stan no longer trusts her. The realization came after something mundane, she was watching a parent with their kid, and their kid is throwing a tantrum.

So Mabel goes in to help. Another person who is watching, remarks how the kid is being selfish and should shut up. The parent of the kid though, defends their kid, and says,

“How about you shut up! Kids are allowed to be selfish! That’s the point of being a kid. If you make mistakes and learn and grow but you can’t do that if you’re self less all the time.”

That when it sort of clicks entirely for Mabel as she says in a quiet, broken voice, “They…are?”

The parent, looks over to Mabel and says, “I’ve knew someone who gave away every part of themselves, until there was nothing left. Seeing that… it’s heartbreaking to see someone become that. I refuse to let my kid, restrict themselves or keep from being who they are.”

I want to see a slow arc of Stan on rocky waters with Dipper and Mabel and eventually build that bond back up.

Speaking of slow rebuilding, like Ford and Stan, man.

Maybe Ford is frustrated because he doesn’t know his brother anymore and it feels like their bond is estranged. Ford is in denial trying to think everything is fine but knows deep down that he doesn’t know how to fix this. Also maybe there’s a certain bit of jealousy of Soos and Missy Gleeful who are able to get along better with Stan now. That’s supposed to be his twin, sure Ford wanted space, but he also misses his brother. But he doesn’t know the right words or actions to get them to reconcile, to get Stan to look him in the eyes. Or for Stan to stop looking all jumpy all the time.

Also the thing with Missy Gleeful is incredibly interesting!!! Like since the two can bond over bad dads, maybe the two start to learn how to unravel and be kids again. Maybe Missy Gleeful helps Stan’s business in secret.

Oh and Wendy!! What ideas should we do with Wendy?

Selfish Shellfish AU - Masterpost

Oh dear anon, this is a mess of a reply and I couldn't keep my thoughts straight. But here you go. A long answer for a long ask.

Stan & the Adults

That’s exactly what I need.  And I need it to hurt. For every step forward they move two steps back.

The heartbreaking thing is, Stan doesn’t blame them. Hell, Stan doesn’t blame Filbrick for being hard on him. They were just trying to help him. To fix him.

How does Stan repay his family? By killing the one person who stayed with him through everything and avoiding and disappointing the others. Stan was supposed to be better by now, more grown up so they want him around and now look at him. 

He’s a good for nothing murderer who convinced a guy, who is too nice to know any better, to take him in and when he gets the chance to go back to his family and prove to them that he can still be better and regrets his actions, he runs away. He hides at Soos’ house and refuses to see them.

He cannot lose them again, so he leaves them first instead. 

Stan living with Soos would also mean the Pines might get the wrong idea.

Who is this creep? He can’t just kidnap Stan! Is Stan having Stockholm Syndrome? 

They already found out some of what happened in New Jersey and want to help. But they make it worse. And then Ford remembers the whole “Extra Stan 3$ or better offer” debacle and comes to the conclusion that Filbrick might’ve sold Stan to Soos and then Soos killed Filbrick to make sure Stan has no where to return to.

The accusations get worse and worse and Stan is cornered. With no way out, he explodes and lets more slip than he meant to, which throws him into a panic attack. 

Neither Dipper, nor Mabel, not even Ford can calm him down and it’s Soos who tells them to step back and give him some space. Then they catch a glimpse of Stan clinging to Soos like his life depends on it [something Stan will deny until his dying breath] and realise it might be for the best if Stan stays with Soos for now.

I'm all here for Stan being scared of other adults. Especially now that he’s not with Filbrick anymore and has time to calm down and process.

He would be terrified of Dipper and Maybel and not understand why. They are safe. He loves them. They never hurt him. Why is he sure they will?

On a slightly different note, Stan being afraid of Melody is as heartbreaking as it is funny to me. He’s a little scared kitten hissing at her and hiding, while she does absolutely nothing that could be considered threatening. But then she starts feeding him and her sandwiches are really delicious, so maybe she's not so bad.

I keep imagining Stan to be younger and younger and this. Poor boy is aging backwards in my mind.

[...Actually doing a whole thing where Stan gets deaged and is also mentally a small child but with all of his memories intact would be such sweet torture. One of my favourite tropes. It also would give us an older brother Ford who is actually older than Stan mentally. I’d read the shit out of it. ahhhh]

I absolutely love the scene you have in mind for Mabel. I’m SHAKING YOU. AHHHHH!

Yes YES. Realising that you might actually be part of the problem, it’s terrifying and extremely hard to come to terms with. You didn‘t want to be the bad guy. Your intentions were all good. This isn’t fair! You didn’t mean to! 

Stan & Ford

Stan and Ford's whole relationship is just this song on repeat. Simply switch the piano out for a ship and we’re good.

From the outside Stan looks fine at first. He’s making other friends in Soos and Missy and avoids Ford. It just proves to Ford what he always knew. Stan would’ve been better off without his freak of a brother holding him back. Maybe Stan not visiting him wasn’t because of Filbrick after all.  

Okay but honestly, I feel so bad for Ford. He just wanted to have some space, friends and things for himself and in the process failed to see how much Stan was hurting, especially considering they both got bad advice from their trusted adults. Suddenly, he lost his best friend. However by the time Ford realised it, Stan had started to come up with excuses not to visit and Ford had no guideline to deal with that, so he resorted back to what he’s been told by the adults in his life. And here we are.

The thing is, the only way for Stan to open up to Mabel and Dipper is if he first fixes things with Ford.

What I need is for Ford, Mabel and Dipper to fall apart over their inability to make things right with Stan. It gets bad. They’re not talking and blaming each other. Ford eventually spends as much time as possible away from the house.

And where better to spend his time than his secret hiding spot. A small cave by the late. It might not be so secret anymore though as he keeps finding evidence that someone else has been coming here as well recently.

One day, after another fight over what to do about Stan, he finds someone at his secret cave.

It’s Stanley. Of course Stanley is the one who has been coming here as well. Ford should've known. It’s such a them thing to do. Or at least it used to be. 

Stanley has been crying. When he notices Ford he jumps up and moves to leave but then their eyes meet for the first time in three years and Stan’s whole demeanor shifts. 

Why is Ford crying? Who hurt him? Who does Stan need to beat up?

Ford starts sobbing and Stan is at loss as to what to do. 

Ford asks him to stay just in case the bullies come back and his brother hesitantly agrees.

They don’t talk. Ford is too scared to break the silence. Everytime he attempted to talk before, Stan would block him out or escape. Stan doesn’t seem to be in a mood for it either. He’s too tense and twitchy, but he stays until the sun begins to set and tells Ford he has to go or Soos will be worried. 

They walk back together and when the path splits Ford thanks Stanley for keeping him company.

Stan hesitates. 

“Is - is everything alright at home?”

Ford smiles.

“Yes, don’t worry about it, Stanley. Just some bullies from school.”

They go their separate ways. There is no goodbye, no see you later, but the next day both boys meet up again at the lake.

It’s a slow and quiet thing, getting to know each other. They both changed, became different people and both are not yet ready to address what happened to them.

Instead, almost subconsciously, they start collecting wood and other tools and bring them to their base. They don’t discuss what they’re doing, but when Ford starts drawing up blueprints Stan is there ith him making his own suggestions and adjustments. 

The boat they’re trying to build looks nothing like the one they found back in Jersey. And maybe that’s for the best. The old boat’s keel had already been cracked when they started the repairs. The Stan-o-War I was never destined to last.

They don’t know if the new boat will be able to sail either, or if it will leave them drowning at sea, but they give it their best shot.

Over the next weeks, months, their boat starts to take shape. They talk more and they fight, and it hurts and some days they refuse to even look at each other,  but they still keep working on their boat, until one day they realise it's ready to set sail.

(They had to postpone the sailing for another day. They couldn’t stop crying. But that's okay, it’s a secret they keep to themselves.)

This all happened at their little hidden spot by the lake. No one else knows. Not their friends, not the adults. 

Grunkle Dipper and Grauntie Mabel have no idea what’s going on with Ford, just that he is leaving the house much more frequently and longer than usual. They decide to keep their fighting to a minimum and try to apologize to Ford. He’s been struggling much more than them. They were…really selfish.

Meanwhile Stan wants to believe Ford when he tells him that Dipper and Mabel love him and want to apologize. 

Ford slaps him over the head when Stan suggests that there is nothing to apologize for. It’s all his fault. Another slap.

Ouch, ouch, okay geez. Fine. Stan promised to trust Ford so he will do that. He is…just not quite ready to face them yet. As himself that is.

What I’m saying is, time for a twin switch! 😂

Ford makes it a point to only wear gloves at home, which worries Dipper and Mabel to no end, but nothing they do will persuade him to stop. 

As soon as that very important plot hole has been solved, they do the switch. At first only for a couple of minutes, then longer. Fiddleford was kind enough to build them some spy gear so Ford can listen in and talk to Stan just in case things go south. 

It works. Much better than expected. Stan gets used to his Grauntie and Grunkle again and starts seeing their past interactions in a different light. 

Mabel and Dipper talk to “Ford” about how much they love Stan, how much they messed up, how sorry they are. And they chastise “Ford” when Stan offhandedly mentions that it was all Stan's fault to begin with.

Through all their talks and time spent together Stan somehow manages to fix what was broken between Mabel and Dipper and gets to learn more about their story and how it affected his own. And with understanding comes forgiveness.

One day, months later Mabel and Dipper come down for breakfast and see double.

“Could you pass me the maple syrup, Stan?”

“Why yes, Stan. Here you go”

Stan & Miss Gleefull

Just them hanging out and Missy just being really happy that Stan isn’t bothered by her need to clean every time she’s stressed or nervous. It’s the only way she knows how to cope. If she's cleaning she’s doing something useful. And if she's useful, there is no reason to shout at her. She can simply be ignored. 

Just keep cleaning. Just keep cleaning. 

Stanley doesn’t mind her quirks and skittish nature. He doesn’t make fun of her when they're outside and she pulls out a hand brush to clean the pavement because a loud noise startled her.

Instead, he steals some gloves for her to make sure she won't injure her hands on the sharp stones.

Stan is really sweet. She wishes she could do something for him as well, but there is no much use for her besides cleaning. So all she can do is listen when he finally talks about himself and everything that happened with his father.

She already knew, of course, that they were the same. His story changed nothing. Stan was still the same. He was still her friend, even if he worried she would leave him after his confession.

Missy just hums, offers to clean his hands and spends the rest of the afternoon doing just that.

They are both a bit strange and broken. But at least they have each other now. 

Stan & Wendy 

As for Wendy, same answer as with Soos XD

Have no idea what Wendy’s usual role in relativity falls is

I don’t care, don't tell me

Wendy is Wendy so in my mind she's at most a couple of years older than Stan. Still a teenager though

I kind of want her to be stressed out and miserable that she's once again forced to go to spend her summer at logging camp unless she finds a job by the end of the month.

And to make things worse the empty house she usually crashed at when she needed some space for herself is occupied, because the owner decided to return far earlier than usual and for some reason that one nerd from her school moved in as well?

I can’t think of anything specific right now, sorry. But I need Stan to offer her a job. Both Wendy and Soos are his people. His little found family, that Stan already had in canon before the twins arrived. 

We all know everyone's 2nd or 3rd favourite episode where Stan teaches her how to steal, yeah?. 

Of course we can switch it around and have Wendy be a cool aunt who teaches Stan how to steal and all that but meh. A tiny Stan, teaching her his ways would be much more fun to me. 

I imagine Stan to be very well versed in stealing, considering how often Filbrick kicked him out for a night or two and he had to get himself food and supplies by other means. And no way he ever bought Stan any new clothes or other necessities. So stealing it was. Fun stuff.

And to close this mess of an answer off, have a quote from a certain other show about two brothers that I shamefully obsess over every now and then:

Kids ain't supposed to be grateful. They're supposed to eat your food and break your heart. 

Nothing to add. That one is just here for the vibes.

[satorus-princess]

youthful happiness

a/n: canon au but divergent - everyone is happy and no one turned bad okay 🥰 includes geto sensei which we were deprived of. beach day!!

fem!reader x gojo satoru

“where the hell are those three?” gakuganji asks, disgruntled. the higher-ups from jujutsu high are gathered in a meeting, which you, gojo and geto were expected to be there for as well.

little did they know that the three of you were currently lounging on beach towels as the sun beamed down. geto was lying back with his arms crossed behind his head, eyes closed as he soaked up the heat, and you had your legs stretched out with gojo's head resting on your lap, a pair of sunglasses sitting on his peaceful face.

“this is wayyy better than a boring meeting,” gojo murmurs contently. he peeks up through the gap in the top of his sunglasses and smirks. “and a much better view than that old man.”

you playfully flick his forehead at his comment, knowing that he's referring to your boobs. he yelps dramatically, rubbing the spot that you had flicked.

“even if you're being a perv, i agree,” you say, glancing up at the students messing around in the azure water, a smile on your lips. well, students, excluding fushiguro who was, now, scowling under his own beach umbrella after itadori had splashed salty water onto him. of course, eliciting a loud-ass laugh from gojo. “they deserve this.”

“mm, they do. and we do too...”

“don't forget the fact that we'll be scolded by yaga next time he sees us,” geto reminds you and gojo, though he doesn't seem to care either.

“hey, it's not our fault they decided to have a meeting the day we decided to come to the beach,” gojo defends jokingly, as you all know that this was planned after to avoid another boring, irritating meeting with the higher-ups. “besides, we aren't students anymore.”

“you say that as if you aren't getting into trouble at least once a week, satoru,” geto snorts, and you laugh in response knowing how true that is.

“hey! don't gang up on me. i'm always doing the right thing, they just don't think so.”

“of course, ‘toru. let's get some ice cream,” you suggest, patting his hair as his head is still on your lap. “do you want one, geto?”

“nah, i'm good, thank you.”

“alright, let us know if you change your mind," you say, taking gojo's hand when he stands up and offers it to you. you stretch a little before lacing your fingers with his again. you slip on your sandals and gently tug gojo with you towards the ice cream stand. “let's get some for the kids, too.”

“yeah, especially megumi. he needs one to get rid of that scowl,” gojo chuckles softly, remembering the earlier events. “and then, I'll drag him back to the water.”

“you're a menace, ‘toru. leave the poor boy alone. i think itadori would have more fun getting dragged into the water.”

“well, yeahhhh but that's what makes it less fun for me, if he enjoys it.”

you shake your head in amusement, laughing at his reasoning. “you really are a menace.”

you both wait in line at the ice cream stand, a few people ahead of you which was to be expected on such a sunny day. gojo's arms wrap around your waist and he leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder while you wait in the queue.

“you look really pretty, you know,” he murmurs, his warm breath tickling your ear. he turns his head to press a soft kiss to your neck before resting his chin back on your shoulder. “all tanned and carefree.”

“that's because of you. no one would've had so much fun today if you didn't suggest going to the beach. it really was needed.”

“probably one of the best ideas i've had. the kids get to have fun, we get to avoid the higher-ups, and i get to see you in this pretty little bikini.”

you snort softly in response. “well, i have to admit that you look pretty yourself. in your pretty little swim shorts,” you mimic his tone, but your words are sincere. he laughs, keeping his arms vined around you as you step forward when the queue gets shorter.

soon, you arrive at the front of the ice cream stand, ordering one for yourself, for gojo, and the students. gojo slips his card out of the pocket of his swim shorts to pay for the ice cream before he balances four of the cones between his fingers and you do the same with the other four.

“we might need to walk faster before these ice creams melt all over our hands,” you say, quickening your pace.

gojo smirks and suddenly runs towards the area where all your belongings are. “last one there is a loser,” he calls out to you.

you shake your head at his words, laughing before you run after him. despite laughing, your eyes gentle, knowing that he's genuinely having fun as he's able to let go of his duties for today.

he obviously beats you, grinning as he watches you catch up. you're slightly out of breath, simply wanting to collapse back onto your beach towel because of the heat. he watches you, amused, before he calls out to the kids to get the ice cream. you hand one over to fushiguro as he's already nearby under the beach umbrella and he mutters out a “thanks”. you give two of the other ice cream cones to nobara and itadori, while gojo gives the rest to the second-year students.

“thank you, sensei!”

as the kids sit and stand around with their ice creams, you settle back onto your beach towel, your knees bent as you sit up, beginning to eat your ice cream. gojo sits down beside you, half of his ice cream somehow already gone. he stares out at the ocean, which his beautiful eyes reflect.

he's relatively quiet and this makes a singular eyebrow of yours arch curiously and with a hint of concern.

“is everything okay, ‘toru? you're weirdly quiet,” you point out. it's only when he turns his gaze to you that you realise you don't need to be concerned. even if his eyes are mostly hidden behind his sunglasses, you can see the swirl of emotions in them.

a moment passes before he nods softly. “yeah... i'm actually just really happy right now.”

your expression immediately softens at his words, seeing the genuine smile on his lips and the hint of vulnerability in his eyes. he leans against you, watching the students enjoy their ice creams. he's glad he's able to give the students time to relax and be happy... to be kids.

as his head rests on your shoulder, you turn to give his soft hair a kiss letting your lips linger for a moment longer. you hear him hum contently at your kiss as he continues to eat his ice cream and you do the same.

both of you stay like that together, cherishing the joyous and carefree moments with everyone. it's peaceful even if it's loud. everything just feels right in this moment.

but after a while, the ice cream appears to give gojo more energy than before, not wanting to relax in the sun anymore. he stands up and stretches with a dramatic groan before he crouches down next to geto who is still stretched out on his beach towel.

“hey, suguru?” gojo says quietly, the mischief in his tone evident.

“what?”

“bet you can't build a better sandcastle than me,” he snorts. geto peeks an eye open, raising his eyebrow at the 28-year-old sorcerer.

“you're ridiculous, satoru,” geto huffs, closing his eye. then, he sits up. “... you're gonna lose that bet. i'd obviously build a better and bigger one.”

“no way, i already got it all planned out in my head. it'll be fit for my princess.” he throws a cheeky wink your way. you roll your eyes playfully but you can't help the small laugh that slips out.

“you're on.”

“you gotta buy me a supply of mochi when you lose,” gojo says confidently with that annoying smirk of his.

“when you lose, you have to put blue hair dye in principal yaga's shampoo.”

a shiver runs down gojo's spine at the thought of having to do that. but his confidence comes back a second later as they shake on it.

with an amused yet gentle smile, you observe them seeing their younger selves again. even if it was only for today. gojo was still smiling genuinely as he determinedly worked hard on his sandcastle; this time his smile was filled with youthful amusement and happiness.

if only things could stay this way.

[amalthea-13]

Got my nightcore blasting in one ear and still mad about Mastermind so I'mma just info dump here. If you are a Blitz Stan or Defender please understand I do love Blitz, he's honestly one of my favorite characters and Stolitz is my comfort ship. However, disliking things he does doesn't mean I don't like him. I can feel frustrated or struggle with things he does. A complex character makes you feel complex things so it just is a testament to the writers on this show doing a good job with their cast and writing them perfectly. So before going on a rant defending Blitz, just hear me out.

I'll be honest I did not like how quickly Blitz turned lovey-dovey after the trial. The shit hit me like a fuckin chancla to the head and gave me whiplash. The reason I have this issue with Mastermind is purely because it felt so- unfair. Stolas has been struggling to feel validated and seen by Blitz for SO long. I mean that man gave him an Asmodean Crystal, fought to treat him with respect by changing many of his behaviors from S1 to S2, no longer teasing him or calling him pet names. He goes to hell and back multiple times, nearly being killed by Striker and couldn't even get a solid text back from Blitz.

However, the MINUTE he lays his life down, loses his daughter, and gives up any sense of a decent reputation suddenly Blitz gives a fuck. Losing his home, his powers, his family, EVERYTHING, and suddenly Blitz cares about what Stolas wants or needs. It genuinely makes me wanna rattle him around and yell:

"YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HEALTHY AND NICE TO HIM BUT YOU WAIT TILL HES CHRONICALLY DEPRESSED!?"

Like fuck me dude, but he never cared for Stolas before. He consistently dismisses his humanity by cognitively distancing himself from Stolas by just boiling every part of him down to his wealth, stripping him of any and all humanity he remains to have.

Suddenly when Stolas is a husk of his former self and his depression can no longer be hidden by magic or pills, suddenly Blitz cares. I just- I don't know if it's'cause of my own personal trauma, but I hate when people wait till you are at your lowest to give a fuck.

How much more did Stolas have to give for him to care? Or did it have to be his own life? My issue with this part is it perpetuates that Blitz can ONLY humanize those he hurts if they are sad and miserable like him. That the only time you can be loved or seen by him is when you are sad and pathetic, beneath himself. I really hope ya'll are picking up what I'm putting down because I am BEGGING ya'll to stick with me.

Blitz still has his family, his life, his friends, but Stolas has none of those things and SUDDENLY Blitz is further interested in him. Now that he has some pseudo-surperiority- he finds him attractive? He's interested? He wants a deeper relationship?

You can't tell me that doesn't feel so- so backwards right?

Like yeah, wait till the sweet owl man looks like THIS. Oh, yeah, ain't that just fuckin attractive? He's miserable and tried to OFF himself, but no, no that's healthy. It's fine, Amalthea, it's fine that this is the SUDDEN moment Blitz cares. That suddenly he gives a fuck. /sarc

Don't get me started on the fact that before he got to know Stolas he was COMPLETELY fine wrecking a perfectly good (from the exterior) home without considering Octavia, despite being a fucking father himself.

Blitz waits till Stolas is miserable to actually show him an OUNCE of humanity or love or reciprocity.

Yet everyone excuses ALL of his behaviors and problems on his trauma and the pain he has been through, but those same people will call Stolas a deadbeat and terrible person just because he is an awful flirt and a literal DV victim recovering from being COMPLETELY repressed due to the fact that the system that gives him his wealth has worked against him to the point he has no autonomy.

No one seems to ever get why I'm so angry and it's just because- these two have so much potential to work, but at every corner Blitz will make the shittiest decisions and the fandom writes it off as trauma or hurt or whatever, but god forbid Stolas mess up IN SEASON 1 he has to pay for it in Season 2 and be burned at the stake yet while burning at the damn stake the only person he wants to care or worry for him ONLY cares when he is actually set on fucking fire, not bothering to douse the flames or care when he wasn't about to get burned.

I love Blitz, I really, really do, but Mastermind reframed so many of his behaviors for me and made me step back purely because I realized he REALLY does not care unless he can have a false sense of superiority to someone.

I initially said both Stolas and Blitz were at fault for the Full Moon episode, but rewatching the argument I fully blame and fault Blitz for the arguement. Sure Stolas wasn't perfect, but instead of I dunno yelling at the owl man, why don't you- I dunno ASK HIM FOR A MOMENT???

People act like Blitz is some 16 yo teenager, but no thats an ALMOST 40 YEAR OLD MAN WHO CHOOSES TO POORLY COMMUNICATE. He literally could have been uncomfortable and said; "Stolas, this is a lot to process... can I have some time to think? I just- this is a lot."

Stolas wouldn't have forced him to stay! He was willingly letting him go! Blitz complains about the class differences between them but when he tries to fix it suddenly it is a fucking problem?

"But Amalthea, Stolas was hanging his livelihood over his head. He was abusing his power."

See I'd validate that argument and agree with it- IF IT WASN'T ALSO STOLAS'S LIVELIHOOD THE FUCK???? That grimoire was just as important to Stolas as it was to Blitz, more so since it gave him his STATUS, but he WILLINGLY sacrificed all that for Blitz.

Stolas did his due diligence to protect BOTH of them, but yet there is STILL a problem?!

"Stolas made him believe it was just sex between them!!!"

You wanna try again? Do you REALLY want to believe Blitz is so oblivious to this man's advances?

Then explain why he knew Stolas would accept a date to Ozzies. O_O. If Stolas was really just some "ditzy blue blood" to Blitz why would he get dolled up and ready for a date with some measly imp? Why would a Goetic Prince go in public with an imp?

Unless Blitz was FUCKING aware he'd've accepted because he feels so deeply for Blitz. He's so desperately in love he'd do anything to be around him again. Blitz KNEW what he was doing. He KNEW Stolas felt this way, he just chose to be dense and overlook it until it benefited him.

Blitz's insecurities blind a lot of you to the fact he is a CALCULATED and SMART man. Sure, he is a dork who makes us laugh, but he's a CALCULATED dork.

Also I hate to bring up how these two sweetpeas met, but WHO BIT WHO? Who SLEPT WITH WHO WHILE DRUNK?

"But Stolas was flirting with him! He wanted Blitz to sleep with him!"

Yes and no. Initially when Stolas flirts and realizes Blitz wants to sleep with him, he immediately says NO and steps away!

See that kids, that's called a headshake, which means what? Let's all guess now?

NO! IT MEANS NO!

I hate to drive my point this far home, I REALLY do.

Another layer of this is ALL the advances are made my Blitz after Stolas says no.

"Amalthea it's hell! What are you on about morals and consent!?"

Literally because in this situation Blitz had the power. He had the ability to walk away, but started all of this just for his buisness and despite how it all started, Stolas supported him through it all.

It is also before Blitz knows about the abuse and knowing Stolas is a father, still chose to homewreck a family even after Stolas said no.

My point in all of this- anger and frustration is that Stolas has put up with so much of Blitz's BS and stupidity, but only now is Blitz concerned. Only now he gives a damn.

You break into a mans home, sleep with him, rob him, then ruin his life, but you only feel bad when he's lost everything? Sure, that's cool. That's awesome. That's totally fine. /sarc

... this arguement is always hard for me to make, because i just have to watch Stolas be traumatized over, and over, and over and he is always still so sweet and loving to a fucking prick of a man.

Rant over, Amalthea out.

However if you have questions, my ask box is open loves.🩷

Edit 1: While you all can comment, I strongly encourage utilizing my ask box. Moving on I understand ppl may disagree with me. That is okay you're a beautiful individual with your own thoughts and opinions which is fine by me. However please refrain from insulting my intelligence. You can always block me, doesn't hurt my feelings anyway.

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

a little ficlet on my little ford au because im officially extremely obsessed w it rn and i neeeeed you guys to see just how much angst potential this has

@shmisky because you asked to see the dialogue hope you enjoy it ebdhrdudh <3

~~

Ford shifts in his make shift shelter. The gusts of salt water air blowing on his face is predictably stronger with the size he is now, but it's far more tolerable than when he was on deck. Right here, he can hear Stan's steady heartbeat behind him. Slow. Rhythmic.

Serene.

Then Stan sighs, and Ford feels his chest rise and fall against his back, the expansion and deflation. Ford looks up curiously, eyes landing on the unhappy downward twitch of Stan's lips.

"Stanley?" He calls out, hoping his voice reaches his brother's ears. Of course when indoors, Stan can hear him clearly, but with the rippling waves, the occassional creaks of the old boat and the few squaking seagulls that fly ahead freely, who knows if Stan could hear him now? He raises his voice to call out again. "Stanley, what's wrong?"

He's greeted with a long beat of silence, so much so he almost concluded that Stan hasn't heard him. He cups his hands over his mouth, ready to speak again when Stan finally clicks his tongue.

"Guess I'm responsible for you again, huh?" Stan remarks, bitterness in every word. "The portal, then with you livin' in the shack before that whole weird-ma-somethin', now this."

He gestures to his breast pocket, where Ford is currently tucked away in. The said small man feels his face heat, an anchor dropping from his chest and lodging deep to the depths of his stomach. Ford swallows, his tongue in his throat, because, well, ouch.

"I suppose you could say I'm your little problem, eh?" He croaks out weakly with a nervous smile, looking up at his brother. Stan is looking ahead at the waves, attention nowhere near Ford, and Ford feels even smaller to be talked to without having Stan's eyes on him. But knowing if Stan looks down, he'd feel as microscopic as the germs that stick to the soles of Stan's feet.

"I guess," Stan says, not refuting or denying anything, and the pit grows deeper. "Sure as hell isn't fun, you know?"

"I... I know," Stanford says, sighing too. He tucks himself in the pocket even deeper.

"Stanley... are you, upset with me? For doing this?"

"Pfft, no." Stan responds quickly and Ford almost breaks his neck with how quick he whips his head to look up at him.

"Wait, you're not?"

"No, I'm not, Sixer."

"Then, um," Ford scratches the back of his neck, feeling the drying air on his skin. "What exactly is wrong...?"

Stan's arm moves, and he leans onto the railing, precariously leaning just a little so that Ford wouldn't threaten to fall into the deep, inky blue depths of the rippling sea. Trying to appear casual, despite his precision and carefulness. He's always been like that with Ford, and once upon a time even Stanford himself mistook that careless facade to be something more than just a faux cover up of his brother's big heart. The one that always bled too much for Ford.

"I'm not pissed you wanted to tag along, Ford," Stan says, finally looking down at Ford and Ford feels his heart jump. Stan's own heartbeat quickens a bit with rising frustration that Ford is almost tempted to call his bluff out. But he keeps his mouth shut, because assuming too much about Stan's intentions is how he got himself here in the first place. From Thirty years ago. Forty years ago.

"I'm pissed you did this after I told you I wanted to experience stuff for myself for once."

"I just—"

"I thought about coming back for you, you know? And really give it a chance, and you—" Stan sighs, clutching the railing with a hard grip. "Of course you just gotta take me wanting to ask you myself away from me, huh?"

The argument Ford was about to hastily spit out to defend himself dies, and he sinks lower in Stan's breast pocket. His heartbeats sound a little less serene now. More like an all encompassing timebomb of when all of this will eventually blow up in Ford's face, the only one Ford can't defuse.

"I'm sorry, Stanley."

"Yeah, well," Stan straightens up, looks out on sea again. "Little too late for that, huh?"

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

experiences have a really good way of worming their way into you, becoming intertwined with your very being and impacting the way you think and view the world

so. for example, neither of the stan twins like going to the doctor. but sometimes you have to, and it's an especially good idea when you're about to head out to sea for gods know how long

when ford needs something from the doctor and they dismiss him, his immediate response is to go 'okay, i'll just. not worry about it when i die in my sleep'

living with filbrick for seventeen years instilled a deep sense of 'when the authority says no, that means fucking no. shut your mouth' and when he met bill? that just made things so much worse. well, yes, this is uncomfortable for him and a lot of the stuff bill does really hurts and deep down he knows this isn't how he wants to be treated, but maybe if he plays along and pleases him, it won't hurt as much. maybe, eventually, if he's good enough, it'll stop hurting at all

it won't, and he's already good enough, but what else is he supposed to do?

later on, he was able to find the footing to stand up against his abuser, but that experience doesn't just go away. when an authority says no, he still finds it a little hard to argue against that unless his family is impacted by it

stan? he had a different response. he didn't like the way filbrick treated him, so he wasn't going to stand for it. would it get better if he played along? he doesn't know, cause he never did. he argued back and defended himself and ford. and got hurt, yes, and gained a deep fear that will never quite go away, but it's become a deeply ingrained response. it might not get better. so he's going to make it get better

sometimes it hurts people he doesn't want to hurt, he'll admit that. sometimes it hurts people and they end up in hell for thirty years

but sometimes it helps. he's found he can stand his ground better, and it helps to protect his loved ones. and it helps, when ford's gut reaction is to not fight back against the no. ford needs something, and stan is going to make damn sure he fucking gets it.

and when stan needs something, it rattles his core and makes him shake, but ford will make damn sure he gets it too

and sometimes, ford's response works out better. so, maybe, sometimes, it'll turn out better for them both if they work with it instead of push back

in this sense, the brothers help each other heal and balance out these responses. different situations call for different reactions, and sailing together has helped them navigate tight spots better

[inpermanences]

part one

Mabel tosses her gun aside, wincing at the sound of glass shattering. She runs up to Grunkle Ford, hands curling into his worn red sweater and tugging. “What were you two fighting about this time?”

“Grunkle Ford, what’s wrong?” Ford doesn’t respond. His eyes are brimming with tears and glazed over in exhaustion, glued to the direction Stanley exited. Mabel yanks at his sweater again; insistent. “Hell-o? Earth to Stanford Pines? Come on, say something! Dipper, can you find something to make him snap out of it? Maybe his metal skull gave him lead poisoning—”

“He left.” Ford mutters. His shoulders droop, eyes downcast as he looked at the younger twins.

Caryn rushes to her child’s side. Her right hand on his shoulder, placing the other on his heart and patting sympathetically. “It’ll be okay. He’s gone now. I’ll make sure he doesn’t return, okay?”

The younger twins share a look the average person wouldn’t be able to understand. But she spoken their language longer than they’ve been alive. Translates it into one word; enemy.

Dippers eyes narrow. “What do you mean, make sure he doesn’t return?”

Caryn steps away from her son to usher her grandkids towards the kitchen table. Makes a motion towards the seats, but neither sit down. Resting her hands on their shoulders, a forlorn expression as she ponders how to explain this to two teenagers.

“Your uncle… he isn’t…” She whispers in a low tone, as to avoid startling Ford any further. “He did something wrong.”

“Yeah, so what? Everyone makes mistakes.” Mabel says, as the self-proclaimed #1 Stanley Pines defender.

Caryn sighs. “You’re right. People do make mistakes. But sometimes, when a person commits something so…sinful. Heinous. It’s better if they leave and never come back. And your uncle Stan hurt your uncle Ford because he’s a bad person.”

In unison, the younger twins slip out of her grasp; Mabel slaps her hand away, Dipper shoving it off his shoulder.

“Grunkle Stan is not a bad person.” Mabel insists like a factual statement. “You’re just saying that because you’re angry he messed up Grunkle Ford’s science project, like what, decades ago?”

“I was furious at Stanley for sabotaging Stanford’s science project. I mean, he was just a boy. But he was old enough to know his bad actions had consequences. And here I was, foolish enough to believe he had changed over the years we were apart. Turns out I never knew my son at all! I mean, how could he do that to his own brother? How could I have let that happen? I should’ve…” Caryn trails off, muttering things to herself.

Mabel spots the blood splatter on the floor, skimming over her family before checking herself. "Wait, was Grunkle Stan bleeding? We need to find him!"

"Mabel, it's only been a few minutes. He couldn't have gotten far." Dipper says, attempting to ease his sisters worries. His knuckles brush against Mabel’s, a silent ask. She responds, fingers intertwining and squeezing, glittery nails digging crescents. It doesn't do a thing, but rather make her more distraught.

"That's the point! He's out there, all alone… What if a pyterdoyal takes him away?" Mabel cries out. Caryn can't believe Dipper's taking her seriously, his brows furrow together as he considers the possibility, before shrugging.

"Maybe. But he punched it in the eyes so I’m not exactly worried." Her niece and nephew have lost their minds.

“You don’t get it, do you?” Caryn rolls her eyes, voice tilting into annoyance. Before she can say another word degrading the character of Stanley Pines, Ford lets out a sharp irritated noise.

“They know! They know everything.” Ford snarks, turning around to look his mother. His forefinger and thumb pinch his nose bridge, a tired sigh escaping him as glasses drop back down slant. “We weren’t exactly subtle about it at first. I was… traveling for thirty years, and when I returned there was an earthquake. He gained temporary amnesia from it and if it weren’t for Mabel I don’t think his memories would’ve returned. I guess the way society views our complex relationship was forgotten as well, because Stanley accidentally told the kids he loves me. Turns out—”

Caryn walks right back up to her first born son and smacks him across the face. “You’ve lost your damn mind alongside everyone here. Telling me, your own mother, that your brother loves you in the way only a man and a woman can love each other! You’re his brother! Stanley does not love you, Ford. It’s a sick, twisted perversion—”

“No.”

“He’ll just use you for his weird sexual desires and toss you aside like garbage. You’re nothing but a toy for him to manipulate. He’ll just fuck your life over again and you are allowing him—”

“No!”

“A sick freak that should’ve stayed dead in that casket—”

“NO!”

“No? No!” Manic laughter emits from the elderly woman, jabbing a finger into Ford’s heart. “He’s been using your bleeding heart to groom—”

“STOP!” Ford shoves her backward. She stumbles on the hardwood, but the younger set of twins catch her before any injuries occur.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… you were just… I know what it’s like to be taken advantage of. For years! For someone to string you into doing their dirty work while they reap the profits of labor. It was an insistent voice in my head making me do things I didn’t want. But they were always so good to me, so I didn’t think twice when I offered by body as a vessel. But Stanley — he always wanted me. Not for my brains or body, but a constant variable at my side. And I kept shoving him to the farthest corners of the earth from my own paranoia that he was going to use me. But he wouldn’t. He never has. He’d rather die than let anything bad happen to me. I’ve lost him twice and I can’t—” Ford chokes on a sob. He can feel his insides collapsing at the ache missing the only man who could utterly put him into ruins and euphoria. His field of view blurs into a messy painters palate, hands burying itself into gray strands and tugging.

Mabel and Dipper release their grandmother and rush to Ford’s aid. Their arms are tiny in comparison, but they’re strong enough to whisper words of reassurance, tug away a weeping uncle out of the kitchen and towards his bedroom.

No one comes back out to check on Caryn.

[bassiascoparia]

anon because the fandom does genuinely scare me sometimes, especially within the caleo stan circles

love your posts. what are your thoughts on caleo? i personally greatly dislike it, but how do you feel about it? i think it's another percabeth situation, where people only defend the abuse that happens because of the gender (if calypso was male and leo was female, there would be a riot. same situation with the constant hitting/violence with annabeth. a genderswap would ruin these ships.) i dont think leo or calypso act happy in the relationship, whatsoever.

About Caleo.............

All right, I hate that ship, but my main problem is how Rick portrayed Calypso in PJO versus how she is portrayed in the actual mythology and the Odyssey.

Putting this under a cut because I don't want to clog your feed up.

I don't know how many PJO fans have read the Odyssey, but if you have read it before or after, doubtless you'll be surprised at how different the two Calypsos are.

How Calypso is portrayed in the Odyssey.

She is not a sad, helpless UWU teen girl like Calypso in PJO. She shouldn't have even been a teenager in PJO-she romanced two grown men!

She's not the type of person to understand and let someone go. She didn't do that with Odysseus-she kept him captive for seven years and only let him go when Hermes threatened her with the wrath of Zeus (not something you want to tempt, never ends well.)

Being a nymph and a minor goddess who was the daughter of Atlas, she supported him during the First Titanomachy which was why she lived on Ogygia in exile as punishment. She's a goddess, which means that she was leagues more powerful than Odysseus, who was exhausted, traumatised and didn't have any crew or supplies to sustain him. Going back into the ocean was also dangerous because, well, Poseidon and his rage (not something you want to have on your head either).

It's literally stated in the poem that Odysseus cried on the beach every morning, wishing to return home and missing it terribly. He literally just wanted to see the smoke that rose from his homeland and wants to die. Exact lines copied from Homey's Odyssey-

'By night indeed he would sleep by her side perforce in the hollow caves, unwilling beside the willing nymph.'

'At night-time, true, he slept with her even now in the arching caverns, but this was against his will; she was loving and he unloving'.

'But Odysseus, in his longing to see were it but the smoke leaping up from his own land, yearns to die.'

And when Hermes forces her to let him go, she makes this speech saying that gods will ravish all the women they like, but the moment goddesses start doing the same, they are furious and make them stop.

That's literally just her trying to blame the gods and not herself for something she did. She's trying to shift the blame and make herself seem likeable because others did it, so why can't she?

This is something that a lot of abusers use to make them seem better. Calypso's actions are not ok, and the narrative does not tell us that it's ok. It condemns them, and so should we.

This by @katerinaaqu is a must-read, and you should check out their blog for more info on the real Calypso.

And how she's portrayed in Percy Jackson

We should not, for example, turn this adult nymph who's a rapist into a biologically and mentally 15-16 and make her a poor little girl who's sadly living on an island and then state that she's romanced grown men while somehow being 15-16 years old and ignore it.

I'm not saying that it had to be stated that she was a rapist because this is a children's book series.

But I'm not saying that she had to be portrayed as a teenager either.

The worst part is that though Calypso is depicted as a teenager, it's said that she fought in a war, the First Titanomachy which was much more serious than the Second One, and she romanced two grown men.

All of this while being a teenager? How the hell does that work? Apollo literally says that Calypso is old enough to be his babysitter! And he's millennia old! Millennia!

There is no logic in this, honestly. I mean, there's not much logic or consistency in PJO, but this really takes the cake.

And in Heroes of Olympus, more specifically the fourth book House of Hades, she appears again.........

And, well, this is where it gets really revolting.

Leo Valdez, a fifteen or sixteen year old teenager, is thrown all the way to Ogygia. And there he meets Calypso, who, as the book series states, cannot help but fall in love with every hero that appears on her island because they're just her type.

I think we all know what happens next.

Calypso, a millennia-old goddess who fought in a war and romanced grown men, gets into a relationship.........with a traumatized, mentally unstable teenage boy who's not even a legal adult. After only, what, a few weeks?

This entire situation feels like some bizzarre nightmarish distorted version of terribly-written, unfunny comedy.

THE ATROCITY OF ROMANTICISED SUICIDE

Ok, so Caleo is abusive, but I'll get to that later.

What I want to talk about-first and foremost about Caleo-is that Leo commits suicide to find Calypso's island again-and this isn't good.

...............Sorry, did I say that that wasn't good?

No, that's a fucking understatement and underestimation.

IT'S ROMANTICISED SUICIDE.

Sink that in your head people. He killed himself to find her island again and take her off of it!

And no, that's not romantic. It's not. Fucking. ROMANTIC.

it's disgusting, unacceptable, unpleasant, nasty, disagreeable, horrid, unwholesome, atrocious, awful, deficient, revolting, lacking, unwelcome, unfortunate, inferior, inadequate, lousy, flawed, pathetic, disastrous, ill, useless, worthless, gross, damnable, vile, absymal, horrendous, shoddy, abominable, crappy, faulty, trashy, substandard, nasty, terrible, dreadful, unfavourable, grim, distressing, regrettable, adverse to morality and humanity, entirely unnecessary and not up to scratch (THAT WAS THE ITCHIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN).

How, just how am I supposed to explain how horrible this is? Especially in a children's book series?

Killing yourself just to find a loved one is never a good concept in any form of media. It's a self-destructive fantasy and suicide itself is a horrible, horrible thing-not to blame the suicidal person, but to both them and their loved ones.

And suicide should never be romanticised, never ever, period. To do so, especially in a children's book series, is absolutely atrocious writing on the author's part, no matter who they are.

He never even called it out. If he had said that it was horrible and treated it as such, it would be a little better-but no. It's cheered on and encouraged, which is a level of hell that's deeper than the Earth's core.

I don't think I've emphasized how awful this is. It's just.......let's not romanticise suicide and suicidal tendencies. Not for anything. Never.

LEO'S ARC IS RUINED

The entire point of Leo Valdez's arc was to show that being the third wheel (seventh one in this case) wasn't bad. Being single, not finding romantic love, was fine. Acceptance without romance was possible, and pure platonic love was also possible. And Calypso pretty much ruined this because in the end, heteronormativity forces romance above everything.

And he literally prioritises this random girl whom he spent a few weeks with over his friends whom he spent months with and knows them way better than Calypso.

The forced amatonormativity here is as transparent as clean air. You'' be able to see lichen growing on the trees if you look close enough.

Abuse in Caleo

Calypso is also abusive to Leo.

1) She looks into Leo's past and sees his memories. Without his permission. Which is pretty creepy and moves past boundaries in a bad way.

Now we come to the Dark Prophecy, where they star as a couple (more like a star explosion).

2) In TDP, Calypso jabs her fingers into Leo's ribs.

Why?

It's because she asked what was hiding Festus from the mortals, so he tells her what the Mist is and she says that already knows-even though she literally asked the question that provoked in the first place.

Even if she thinks he's insulting her or talking down, when he's not, she shouldn't jab her fingers into his ribs.

And that wasn't playful-Leo expressed physical pain through an exclamation. And even if Calypso thought it was playful, she didn't apologize afterwards when she saw that she caused Leo physical pain.

3) She also calls him by a name that he told her never to call him by-Leonidas.

He clearly doesn't like it, and knowing that, she still uses it, that too in front of someone they don't know very well, almost a stranger.

In the Riordanverse, names have power.

Leo chooses not to call himself that. He tells Calypso never to call him that. And she calls him that.

In this moment, she's taking his power and autonomy away from him by calling him something he doesn't like. It's probably minor to a lot of you, but honestly, it's pretty bothersome to those of us who have actually experienced this.

4) Leo often uses mechanical-related analogies, but Calypso hates them and makes him stop using them, so he doesn't even use them when she's not around.

What's wrong with him using his analogies? He uses them to help him and she makes him stop. She effectively stops him from using something that helps him. That is bad.

It's a fundamental part of him. If Calypso doesn't like it, then why is she dating him at all?

5) Leo is also bad to Calypso. He calls her Mamacita multiple times after she tells him not to. Reyna literally has to tell him to stop calling her that and intimidate him into doing it, and it's all passed off has lighthearted playfulness.

As someone who has been through this before, it's pretty damn frustrating. It's not funny or cute to do it. It's plain annoying and the person on the receiving end is completely right to want it to stop.

6) The age gap. I've mentioned this before.

But some people are saying that Calypso has the maturity of a teenager in PJO, so why shouldn't she date Leo?

All right, using that logic, let's make Apollo and Reyna date!

NO.

Calypso has lived for millennia on her island. She says that it's been three thousand five hundred and sixty eight years.

This isn't like Nico, who was in the Lotus Casino for decades but only aged a month. He was the same level of mature when he went into it and came out. Calypso was not.

Apollo has also lived for millennia. And he has a teenager's maturity. Does that mean it's ok for him to date Reyna.

No. It does not. And the same logic applies to Calypso and Leo.

I've also heard someone saying that Calypso is cursed to fall in love with whoever washes up on her island, which isn't true.

She says that the gods send her the type of person whom she can't help herself from falling in love with. Not that she's cursed to love them.

7) In TDP, Leo is working on something to try and find Georgina, a missing child.

And then when he says as much, Calypso sharply asks him if he can imagine losing his child.

He can, in fact, do that. He lost his mom, which was just as horrible if not more than Jo and Emmie losing their child, since there was a chance of Georgina coming back, but Esperanza could never come back.

He also has a little brother-Harley. He says that he would be furious if someone did something bad to Harley! So yes, he can in fact imagine what losing a child is like!

After this, Calypso for some reason gets frustrated and tells him that he can't reduce everything to a program.

He's not doing that. He's not reducing this problem to a program-he's working on a program to reduce this problem.

She tells him that Jo and Emmie don't need gadgets or jokes. They need someone who will listen.

And how is that going to help exactly? Leo is actually doing something. He's working on something to find Georgina.

A good listener is something nice to have, but a person who actually does something helpful is even better. And if Calypso thinks Jo and Emmie need a good listener, then she can listen. What else is she doing anyway?

Calypso willfully misunderstands this and wrongfully accuses him of not listening and trying to reduce everything to a machine when he's not. This is what a toxic partner does. They twist the narrative to make you think that your actions are wrong when they're not.

TO CONCLUDE

Neither Leo nor Calypso is happy in their relationship. It was built on naive dreams and false passions-the moment they became a real couple, they didn't know what to do. They thought that they loved each other, but it was only the idea of love and having a partner that was compelling to them. The moment they actually got what they wanted, which was to be in a real relationship, they didn't know how to actually be a couple. Then the problems of a real relationship began to hit both of them.

The logical solution would be to talk it out, apologise on both ends, realise that they wouldn't work out together and finally break up while remaining good friends or just stop contacting each other entirely-either one is fine.

They're taking a break now, so hopefully Rick Riordan will make them break up, but I think that he'll just never mention them again, which wouldn't be as great, but would be fine, honestly, regarding the current state of Rick Riordan.

[snowblack-charcoalwhite]

Just some pre-ep4 thoughts

Aemond, Aegon and their relationship have been what I cherished most in HotD ever since the brothers started interacting on screen as their teenage selves. I haven't been this invested in a bond between two characters for years. So, it's hardly a surprise that I'm devastated about what we have seen during this season so far (and about what we, with a very high probability, will see tonight and in the next episodes).

The rift between Aegon and Aemond's supporters in the fandom has already begun, and after episode 4 it will, in all likelihood, become so much worse. But for my part I would like to say in advance that there will be no either Aegon or Aemond bashing in this blog.

Do I think that Aegon behaved like an asshole towards his brother? Yes. Do I understand Aemond's frustration about always having to remain (at least in some ways) second to Aegon? Yes.

Do I acknowledge that Aegon's treatment of Aemond might have had reasons besides Aegon simply being a dick? Yes. Do I resent that according to the writers Aemond, apparently, doesn't give a damn about his family? Absolutely.

Do I think Aegon should get a free pass for his behavior? No. Do I believe Aemond's (still hypothetical for now) betrayal of his brother to be justified? Hell no.

Will I turn my back on either of my favourite F&B and HotD characters and start talking shit about them either because of the incompetency and utter stipidity of the writers or to remain on someone's good side? Not a chance. I refuse to let HBO and the bunch of morons they entrusted the story to entirely ruin the thing that has brought me so much joy and fun over months and months.

Also: while the fandom blow up about the characters seems imminent, please (saying this preeemptively), leave the actors out of it. Tom and Ewan are their respective characters' biggest stans and defenders which IMO is completely understandable: it is essential for an actor to find within themselves the love for their character with all the virtues and flaws they possess, just like real people love real people. Otherwise, establishing the connection necessary to get to the core of the person an actor strives to embody becomes impossible. Ewan doesn't deserve hate for staying loyal to Aemond no matter what the script does to him any more than Tom deserves being called a rape apologist (and God knows what else) for sticking up for Aegon - which means they do not deserve any hate at all.

As for the fandom fighting, I absolutely can get behind the desire to defend one's favourite character - but it really matters how one does the defending. My sincere belief is that the fans really should take the page out of the actors' book here. Tom and Ewan, with all the love, loyalty and empathy they have for Aegon and Aemond respectively, are very close friends (Tom's words, not mine) to this day. If they have managed to go about the way Targtower brothers' relationship was treated in the script like adults, than we all can do the same.

[buddiebeginz]

I was talking to a friend earlier and it got me thinking about something.

B*mmy stans project all of the stuff they do onto us to an extent I've never seen with any other fandom discourse before.

They call us homophobic for not liking B/T or T*mmy. Yet they hate on people for shipping Buddie or seeing Eddie as queer. To the point of harassing people for including Eddie and Buddie in pride posts. Continually harassing the 911news account and even trying to dox a journalist for posting about Buddie.

They call us delusional for having watched two men love and support one another for 6 going on 7 years and for thinking there could be something more than friendship there. Even though Oliver, Ryan, and Tim have all said they see what we see. Yet they've seen Buck kiss a guy twice, have very minimal screen time or development and they headcanon that they're in love and will get married in the coming season.

They say we fetishize Buddie. Yet most of the time when our fandom is discussing our ship we're talking about the emotional connection between them. Or how we want to see them finally be together in a canon romantic relationship or as a full fledged family (with Chris). Or have their first kiss. Meanwhile most of their posts are the kind of sex they headcanon Buck and T*mmy have. Hell after that that dinner scene tons of them changed their urls to something with daddy in it (referencing the out of place daddy kink joke). To be clear there's nothing wrong with headcanons about fictional characters sex lives. But the main reason most of us ship Buddie is not just because they're two hot guys who we want to think about f*cking, it's because we're invested in the story of their life together. The same can't be said for B/T.

They say we feminize Buck for Buddie:

Meanwhile most of their fics/art/headcanons involve T*mmy being the big strong protector rescuing the "damsel in distress" Buck. They constantly talk about how hot it is that T*mmy is this big older "daddy" firefighter who can take care of Buck and guide him in what it means to be in a m|m relationship.

They say we've made Buck's coming out all about Buddie but 1. Eddie and Buck's feelings for him were heavily included in Buck's bi awakening ep. 2. They have made T*mmy synonymous with buck's coming out to the point of saying Buck wouldn't have even realized he liked men without T*mmy. They've even said that if T*mmy and Buck were to break up in s8 that it would ruin Buck's coming out story.

They accuse our fandom of being mean and of harassing the actors including of sending death threats to Lou. Of chasing Lou off of social media and being the one who caused him to stop his cameos. They say we're the reason Oliver chooses not interact with Lou or anything B/T related online. When there has been no proof of any of this. Meanwhile there is proof from their own fandom that Oliver and Ryan have blocked some of them. They have repeatedly tried to pressure Oliver to interact with B/T posts and Lou. They were also leaving comments on the the video of the podcast Ryan did (with Tommy DiDario) where he talked about his s*icide attempt, telling him he should have finished the job.

They call us a cult or BoBs (Buddie or Bust) yet they dress up like Lou and would still be paying for his videos if he was still willing to put them out. They prioritize Lou/T*mmy above any other character on the show. They talk about how T*mmy should get a begins episode. How T*mmy should be a main character. They defend everything T*mmy has ever done including when he was racist and homophobic to Chim and Hen. They harass anyone who has a negative word to say about their ship or Lou or T*mmy much like a cult would protect their leader. They to this day act like everything Lou ever told them in his cameos is the gospel truth.

911 fandom has grown increasingly toxic ever since B/T became a thing and I honestly just can't wait for the day we either find out T*mmy isn't coming back or when his last ep will be. I mean in some ways our fandom won't ever be the same after this. I've seen a lot of ugly sides to people who I had followed for years as Buddie shippers.

It will never not confuse the hell out of me that some people who were big time Buddie shippers for years not only dropped Buddie but turned completely against the ship and our fandom. And all for a ship that is seriously underdeveloped and one that it's clear the show is telling us in flashing neon lights isn't meant to last.

[z0mbbiegvrl]

ׂ╰┈➤ SERIES INFO

↳ an: this will explain background from the story since all the characters are in their senior year as the story progresses. Keep in mind this is an AU/SMAU, so a lot of things are added for the story or made up by me, but it is based off the south park story.

↳ reader is y/n cartman; eric cartman’s twin sister, though they don’t share too many similarities (in the sense of psychopathic stuff)

FRIENDS...

★ craig tucker - very close with y/n. has a fake rivalry with stan. y/n has a tendency to crash his and tweek’s dates because you have bad timing issues. he’s the only person that y/n completely trusts with their secrets and inner thoughts. pretty much two peas in a pod, one always with the other. both have a lot of inside jokes. sometimes you ditch Craig halfway through the hangout and go spend time with his little sister, tricia.

★ wendy testaburger - also close with y/n. the two became friends when they tried out for cheerleading. y/n tends to ask her for real advice knowing she’d get it from wendy. y/n supports wendy in her political activism and does go along to certain protests with her if asked. like to have sleepovers even though wendy doesn’t care for eric; they keep the bedroom door locked. 

★ bebe stevens - another close friends of y/n; also becoming friends during the first week of cheer. they go shopping together a lot. the person y/n goes to for drama. bebe comes to y/n for relationship advice. y/n has sleepovers at bebe’s house and the two watch girly movies that bebe picks out. bebe is the one who pushes y/n and wendy to go to parties and not be reclusive; especially y/n. despite seeming superficial she always has a smart remark to say and gives good advice (similar to my favorite satc character, charlotte!)

★ leopold “butters” stotch- still the sweetest boy alive. y/n is the only one allowed to call him leo. often keeps y/n grounded with his positive outlooks and mindset. definitely her go to shoulder to cry on. You defend him from bullies (started when they were younger). never backing down from a fight in his honor. says howdy! to everyone every morning. academic overachiever. started cleaning up trash at parties. best hugs. 

★ kenny mccormick - lead guitarist in the band crimson dawn. best friends with y/n since kindergarden. big pothead, but not to the point where it’s a problem. pretends to be dumb on the outside, but is smart. works a job to provide mostly for his little sister. karen adores y/n. y/n and kenny have a small history but the two haven’t talked about it. smells like cigarettes, but everyone still wants to sit next to him. volunteers at local events, like community cleanup. was hired to be the mascot. 

★ stan marsh - lead singer in the band crimson dawn. short-tempered, but very sensitive. hates his family lovingly. has depression, and takes anti-depressants. has an alcohol problem, though he’s trying hard to fix it (y/n tries to help, mostly because wendy doesn’t know about it). struggles with hangovers, yet still goes to classes sometimes. keeps up with his football team religiously, way too emotional about it. argues with the tik tok interviewers on campus. gets kenny to help him bleach his hair; eric bullies the hell out of him for it. 

★ kyle broflovski - has had a crush on y/n since the 4th grade even though now he hides it by pretending to hate you to which you give the energy back. The smartest in the class. Is on the basketball team. Hates anything to do with alcohol or drugs. An awkward teenage boy. Slow BUrnnnn. whenever his mom calls him, eric takes kyle's phone and starts talking to sheila himself. terrible at small talk. falls for ragebait online; also chronically online.

★ eric cartman - y/n’s twin brother, five minutes younger, still an asshole. is trying his best. has chilled down a lot since 4th grade. was put on medication and sent to therapy after being diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder. is surprisingly a lot better after starting medication. he pretends not to tolerate anyone but actually has a soft spot for his friends. he’s still a jerk to people but has mellowed out in schemes and psychopathic tendencies. forgets to take his meds and can be insufferable when liane doesn’t remind him. tiktok famous. reddit mod on the school's subreddit. records the main four + butters at parties. works as a guide tour for the high school, so he could spread misinformation.

[ilikekidsshows]

Marinette is praised for alot of unwarranted things, but to this day the thing that takes the cake for me is people praising Marinette into the heavens for giving Adrien his rings back after Gabriel's death

People act like that's Marinette acting on god-like benevolence and the purest heart ever, when, like, what is she even being praised for?

For not withholding Adrien's literal control remote from him? Not wearing it herself and right away enslaving him?

Praising Marinette into the heavens for giving the rings back implies that people think that it would have been fine if Marinette had cried over this "hard decision" for the next season. And that's just pathetic at this point.

Not to mention that she objectively did nothing in the final battle to save Adrien. It was Gabriel who used the wish for Adrien's good, Marinette instead said he has to face whatever consequences as orphan now that's coming his way. So Gabriel helped Adrien, Marinette was willing to have him pay every price cuz it aint her.

Then Marinette being so uninterested in the plot lead to Bug Noire almost killing Adrien because she didn't know that she would have destroyed Adrien's amok rings alongside the Miraculous rings on Gabriel's hand. So once again, Gabriel had to save Adrien from Marinette by keeping her from using Cataclysm.

Marinette also isn't the one to take the amok rings away from Gabriel before he dies. Gabriel himself had to give Adrien free and prevent that his amoks will vanish with him.

What the hell is Marinette being praised for in the s5 finale for being Adrien's White Knight? She didn't save him in anyway. She almost killed him, she was willing to sign him up to entirely for his family's sins as orphan because "it's the right thing to do", and she didn't take Adrien's ring from Gabriel

Gabriel did all the saving and protecting, Marinette is just as always taking all the credit.

So what's Marinette being glorified for? For not instantly enslaving her abused and now orphaned boyfriend? Cause that's all the saving of Adrien Marinette did in the end, I guess: saving him from her herself enslaving him for no fucking reason

And is that REALLY something Marinette needs to be praised and made out into a saint for? Cause that's beyond pathetic, even downside offensive at this point

---

At this point, I think the show could show Marinette successfully wiping her ass and the stans would praise her for how talented she is. Everything Marinette does has to be the most amazing show of skill or the most kindhearted thing anyone has ever done in the stans’ eyes because the pedestal they’ve built for Marinette has grown so insanely tall. At this point, there’s nothing she could do that would break that illusion of perfection, I think. Even if she had kept those rings, the stans would have defended her noble decision to keep Adrien safe from people who’d take advantage of him, like Marinette herself hasn’t been taking advantage of him for free therapy for as long as they’ve been dating, no remote controls needed.

And that’s the thing with Marinette not keeping Adrien’s remote control; she doesn’t need it for Adrien to do whatever she wants. Adrien is so dependent on her that his life’s goal is just to be with her. Marinette knows Adrien is completely devoted to her, it's why she was so willing to send Zoé to confess her love to Adrien, because she knew Adrien would refuse Zoé and stay with her instead. Marinette gave up nothing when she gave those rings to Adrien, her control over him is still absolute.

Meanwhile, the fandom is celebrating and romanticizing this shit. I have seen more than one person consider Marinette giving those rings to Adrien to be like a proposal/promise ring situation, where Marinette doing the bare minimum of giving the sapient mind control robot servant his remote control is treated as an ultimate gesture of love. Because truly Marinette must love Adrien if, instead of ordering him to please every single one of her whims and needs, she grants him the magnificent honor of choosing to do so instead, while already knowing he will. How loving, how caring, how selfless.

Please ignore the reality that this entire setup relies on Marinette keeping guard over Adrien and his amoks indefinitely, because Adrien lacks the knowledge to do so himself. Please ignore the reality that, if Adrien, Marinette or both ever fell out of love and ended the relationship, Adrien would be left incredibly vulnerable because he doesn’t know about the rings being amoks. Marinette is counting on Adrien staying with her for the rest of his life, because she’s taken conservatorship over him and his free will. She has made it her job to be her boyfriend’s keeper.