#and again when I read it

[scarlettgauthor]

A Candlenights Sermon

So five years ago a friend of mine said, "I grew up religious and I don't want anything to do with that anymore, but damn do I miss the good parts of a Christmas Eve service, like singing together and lighting candles!" and I said, "Well, what if we invent our own holiday? With singing? And candles?" and she said, "That sounds awesome!" and then we stole the name Candlenights from the McElroy brothers and I wrote a non-religious sermon and we rewrote our favorite carols to be secular and now, five years later, we have a new holiday tradition.

This is all backstory to explain what I'm about to share, which is my 2022 Candlenights sermon. Please join me if you would like to cry about space.

~~~

Hello, dear friends and dear family. We gather in the winter darkness once again, as we have for the last five years; as we have for our whole lives; as those who came before us have, on and on, back to the beginnings of people. Back to when the first monkey raised its head to look at the sky, and instead of only seeing the darkness, saw the stars.

Saw the light.

I think humanity fell in love right then, fell in love with the wide sprawl of the universe and all its secrets. Why else would we dedicate ourselves to it, as we have throughout time? Why else would we look at those sparkling lights in the velvet darkness and give them names and stories? Why would we do that, if it wasn’t to bring them closer to ourselves?

The first recorded evidence of constellations comes from 3000 BC in Mesopotamia, as our ancient ancestors sought to draw the stars out of the sky and know them better. We saw ourselves in them, and named them accordingly. "The Loyal Shepherd of Heaven," “The Seed-Furrow,” “The Farmworker.” Do you still know them? Do you recognize Orion, Virgo, and Aries? Did you know how far back our stories go?

The first telescope came in 1608, allowing us closer to the stars and the universe; allowing us to see the light we loved in greater detail, almost close enough to touch. We saw the craters on the moon; we saw Saturn’s rings for the first time; we looked at the cloudy arc of the Milky Way and learned that it wasn’t a cloud. It was more stars, each of them a tiny point of light.

America launched the first Orbiting Solar Observatory in 1962, and we could look at the stars from out there with them, as though we were one of them. We learned about gamma rays in our solar system and distant galaxies; observed solar flares from the Sun, our closest star; saw parts of stars that were previously unseeable, that we’d only dreamed were there.

The Hubble Space Telescope was launched in 1990, the culmination of twenty years of work by humans who loved the stars so much they fought through earthly concerns like budget issues and engineering mistakes; humans who were so devoted that three years later they made repairs to the Hubble in space to bring the stars closer. We saw things we could never have imagined, great beauty and great destruction, birth and death and so, so much light.

Last December the James Webb Space Telescope was launched after over twenty-five years of development, because we love the stars so much we can never be satisfied. Earlier this year we saw the culmination of that work, and oh, what a culmination. Hundreds of thousands of galaxies previously invisible to us. Nebulae we thought we knew from the Hubble shown to us in awesome detail. Stars being born among the corpses of supernovae. Stars. So many stars.

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine the line of discovery that traces from our earliest ancestors all the way to us now. Imagine taking your ancient relative by the hand and sharing this knowledge. Imagine looking at the wide, unmapped sky together and telling them our stories, about their future descendants who loved the stars so much we found a way to go out among them.

Don’t you think that they would be proud? That no matter how far we’ve come, we still stand in the darkness and look for the light?

There’s a poem by Mary Oliver called The Summer Day. You may have heard the final lines before, as they’ve been co-opted to support hustle culture or grinding or working out or whatever else capitalism thinks it needs to sell us. I think that’s a shame, as the full poem is much kinder, and gentler, and wondrous than that. Let me read it for you now:

Who made the world? Who made the swan, and the black bear? Who made the grasshopper? This grasshopper, I mean-- the one who has flung herself out of the grass, the one who is eating sugar out of my hand, who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down -- who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes. Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face. Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away. I don't know exactly what a prayer is. I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel in the grass, how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields which is what I have been doing all day. Tell me, what else should I have done? Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do With your one wild and precious life?

My dears, what do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? 

I plan to live the way I want to live, and love who I want to love, and always look for the light wherever I can. I hope that you will join me.

Happy Candlenights.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[smittyw]

TEMPO DI ZUPPA

[kyanitejaye-blog]

stanley pines they could never make me hate you

[chaoticfvckingdisaster]

Something I think about a lot is how Rick Riordan very rarely uses "girlfriend/boyfriend" to refer to Percy and Annabeth within their perspectives. They're so intertwined, even Annabeth says in hoh that the word boyfriend isn't strong enough, because Percy was a part of her. They are a singular soul, too wrapped around each others' fates that regular labels are far too weak for them. But, Rick Riordan uses "boyfriend" a lot in Nico and Wills perspectives, not because they love each other less than percabeth, but to show how much the word means to them. Nico uses it any chance he gets- "his boyfriend," "he actually had a boyfriend," because Nico has never been able to say that before. Their struggle with their queer identities mixed with Nico's catholic guilt and chronic everyone-hates-me disease makes the fact that he has someone to call his actual boyfriend so much more important to his character development.

[blueboyluca]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

[rusticfurnace]

GHOSTSOAP // "you sweet fucker" MINICOMIC!!!

[torsamors]

On Seatbelts and Sunsets - Hanif Abdurraqib

[starcurtain]

Teyvat's "Most Down Bad" Award Goes to Alhaitham for a Second Year Running

Seeing everyone making fun of Alhaitham for his "stalkerish" tendencies in this event is funny, because I feel like a lot of people missed that "Be literally everywhere Kaveh is" has been Alhaitham's MO from the day Kaveh appeared in the game.

From only grabbing his house keys after Kaveh returned from the desert (he couldn't have had both sets of keys at the end of the Archon Quest unless he went home and got Kaveh's copy) to ditching conversations to get back to his house only after Kaveh came home, to showing up without any warning or explanation in Kaveh's hangout with some ridiculous excuse about hearing his voice through noise-cancelling headphones... Refusing to offer any help in the Temple of Silence story quest other than staying in the library with Kaveh...

Since when does Alhaitham willingly cover anyone else's duties?

But this trend of "Be everywhere Kaveh is" didn't start when they were adults. It was already in place when they were still Akademiya students--and it's a trend that didn't end even when they had their fight.

Even when they weren't speaking, Alhaitham dogged Kaveh's every step through published responses to Kaveh's research articles in academic journals. He insisted on keeping a line of communication between himself and Kaveh open, even if the only way to do that was through very public ideological clashes. Pulling Kaveh's pigtails to get his attention lolol. It's implied that, for at least the few years between their fight and Kaveh moving in, this was the only communication between them--Alhaitham's refusal to allow their connection to entirely fade away. (And the fact that this is revealed in Kaveh's character stories--through his precious journal that records the moments of his life that had the most impact on him--shows just how deeply he values the fact that Alhaitham didn't give up.)

Another relevant side note: Alhaitham never asked Kaveh to give up his half of their house. Knowing half of it belonged to Kaveh, knowing that Kaveh may one day want to reclaim his part of it, knowing that it was listed as theirs, Alhaitham moved into the house and made zero effort to change its ownership. He was completely fine with living in "his and Kaveh's house." The stories suggest it was only months later (or even longer) that Kaveh even noticed he had the house, and he transferred away ownership of his portion without Alhaitham ever asking him (or even seemingly wanting him) to do so.

Please, let that sink in. Alhaitham actively left his grandmother's (presumably comfortable) house to move into "his and Kaveh's house," with no apparent explanation for why, and after doing so, he made no attempt to change that "his and Kaveh's" label. He moved into the house with no promise that Kaveh wouldn't show up on the doorstep the very next day and move in too. It almost feels like another deliberate provocation--I've moved into our house, are you going to come stop me? LBR, if Alhaitham had had his way, Kaveh would have been living there with him from Day 1...

There's also the fact that Kaveh literally can't write on a single message board anywhere in the entire nation of Sumeru without Alhaitham hunting his messages down and responding to them (which absolutely no one else does, by the way).

"NUH-UH!" "UH-HUH." "NUH-UH!"

Alhaitham's own character stories tell us explicitly that one of Alhaitham's defining character traits is "He is never where you need him to be," yet somehow...

Shot, and chaser:

Any time Kaveh is in the slightest bit of need or danger or just wants Alhaitham near, Alhaitham is "coincidentally" exactly where Kaveh needs him to be, whenever Kaveh needs him to be there.

Alhaitham didn't just "happen" to run into Kaveh in Port Ormos, an entirely different city from where he was supposed to be working. He didn't just "happen" to read the same terrible book as Kaveh when we know he otherwise would not waste a moment of his time on poorly-written literature...

He didn't just "happen" to appear when Kaveh was upset and needed a distraction in the House of Daena during Kaveh's hangout. He didn't just "happen" to be sitting around waiting when Kaveh needed answers after the Archon Quest. He didn't just "happen" to find Kaveh's academic publications and every single message board posting and respond to them at length and in public.

The only person for whom Alhaitham just "happens" to be available is Kaveh, over and over and over again--because he is very deliberately making himself a constant presence in Kaveh's life.

Which is exactly what Kaveh's mother told Kaveh he needed.

(Like, out of all things, I think people really underestimate the devs deliberately paralleling the romantic relationship between Kaveh's mother and father with Kaveh and Alhaitham's relationship. If you want to point to one thing that says "These two characters are intentionally queer-coded," it doesn't get any more obvious than this.)

Alhaitham, are you not embarrassed to be this transparent??? 🫣

[keferon]

It took me a while to read chapter 70 of Mistakes on mistakes until because I can't just. Youknow. read it. I have to be a total maniac and sketch everything I like as I read, so this whole chapter took me an absurd amount of time ahahaha

[uncharted-constellations]

The entire ALBW team

Links about to become Lorules #1 hytopian fabric exporter

[umblrspectrum]

"smaller mass" you say

[unsteddie]

University AU

Bi-Sexual weirdo Eddie Munson approaches Robin in a gay bar. It's her first time and she's so excited. She's looking around all excited with hair she definitely cut herself, wearing a cool blazer that's she's decorated with chains and pins and stuff. And she just looks cool and fun. And listen he knows he's probably not her target demographic, but he sees her blush as he approaches.

The second she hears his voice, realizes he's not a woman, she loudly complains about being hit on by a man in a GAY bar. Prompting her friend who has been leaning against the bar getting them drinks to turn. Eddie's mid apology, because that's fair, when he sees him and just shyits right the fuck up.

Cool girl, sure whatever, this man is an angel. So he immediately switches to hitting on Steve, asks him to dance and Robin says "oh, Steves not-"

But Steve cuts her off with a quick "sure." And shoves the drinks in her hands. He leaves Robin with her mouth hanging open as he follows what is probably the prettiest person he's seen in real life to the dance floor.

(Robins fine, she uses Steve's drink to charm a very pretty girl who she dances with and has a great time that night.)

Steve doesn't even speed run his sexuality crisis, he sees it coming for him and is like 'nah, I'm fine actually. I just like pretty people and curly hair.' and the crisis pouts and moves on.

I'm thinking there's probably drama. Like Steve's all in, because he's a sweet romantic idiot. But Eddie panics and is like "you don't even know what you like in men, you can't just decide I'm it."

Which Steve totally can, but Eddie scares easy, he is the opposite of Tom Petty in this regard.

So they split up with the understanding Steves gonna date around a while and keep Eddies number. And like three months go by and Steve doesn't know if he's allowed to call yet because he hasn't managed to get past the date part to the sleeping with other people part because he doesn't like anyone as much as Eddie, but Eddie said he should try some stuff before commiting to the first man that asked him to dance.

Eddie is beating himself up because it's for sure too soon, like crazy too soon, but maybe he loves Steve? And he literally yelled at him to go sleep with other people?? Why did he do that??

I have a little scene in my head where Gareth see Steve in a club and calls Eddie like "dude, he's here, with a date. Like a really really hot date." And sitcom style shenanigans ensue with Eddie running interference on Steve's date long distance via Gareth.

Like they've been apart probably twice as long as they were kinda together and they're being so dumb about it.

[tanatola]

pathologic 3 announcement made me return to the classic game and finally play it properly! i think my favorite part of the bachelor's route is when he talks to maria kaina (or whoever's in her body at the time) and they explain that their planned Utopia isn’t even supposed to be a 'perfect' place but instead 'the mystical manifestation of a world inscrutable and inaccessible to men' going back to the original meaning of the word irl and instead of despairing Daniil fervently agrees that this kind of unimaginable leap is worth it, no matter where it actually leads

[inspisart]

dick took the news that a strange thirteen year old broke into his apartment while he was away at the circus pretty well, I gotta say

[intermundia]

i just read about the "narcissism of small differences," aka the idea that the more a community has in common, the more likely the people in it are to engage in interpersonal feuds and mutual ridicule because of hypersensitivity to minor differences perceived in each other, and i knew there was a reason my time in academia and fandom felt oddly similar lmao