#and actually figure out how to have a good relationship
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myjournalingspace · 3 days ago
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I decided to do this prompt. I figured I need some brain dumping :
do I have any deadlines coming up?
Yep ! ~12/15. First exams. Fifth year Pharma student. This leaves me exactly 5 weeks. I have 4 subjects for this trimester (toxicology, industrial pharmacy, pharmaceutical management and medical law).
have I been making time for myself and my hobbies?
Yes, a bit too much actually..
what projects, tasks, appointments, and/ or plans are currently stressing me out?
As I said, exams, and my next dentist appointement in four days.
am I procrastinating anything?
Yep, exam revisions, and writing the role-play answers.
am I properly looking after myself? (mental/physical health, skincare, hobbies, school/work, etc etc)
In terms of physical health, yes, though I have yet to start exercising and fix my oversleepiness. Mental health.. hum.. I'm still addicted to many things that are bad for my time and mental health on the long run (mdd, social media, sleep..). Hobbies, Idk, my pc broke and I can no longer play LoL :(( I still roleplay though ! School/work, nope..
am I currently working through any challenges, and if yes how is that going so far?
Yes. And I'm not winning so far.
how are my friends/relationships doing?
Broke up with my boyfriend on 09/10. I'm still not over it. I'm doing better than the first days though. I'm good with the rest of my friends.
is there an area in my life that I should prioritise right now?
Yes ! School and habits !
do I feel confident and comfortable at the moment?
I don't think I do.
how to brain dump like a pro
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what you need
a messy notebook (I like the Leuchturm bullet ones)
a pen
a beverage for emotional support (or several <3)
how to get started
grab your notebook, and sit down in a quiet moment with enough time so you won't stress even more. The point of a brain dump is to unload all your thoughts, everything that is stressing you is put to paper. not aesthetically, no cutesy Pinterest vibes; we need it plain, unromanticised, and personal.
some prompts to get you going
do I have any deadlines coming up?
have I been making time for myself and my hobbies?
what projects, tasks, appointments, and/ or plans are currently stressing me out?
am I procrastinating anything?
am I properly looking after myself? (mental/physical health, skincare, hobbies, school/work, etc etc)
am I currently working through any challenges, and if yes how is that going so far?
how are my friends/relationships doing?
is there an area in my life that I should prioritise right now?
do I feel confident and comfortable at the moment?
Review and reflect
take some time and go over your writing; you can underline or highlight the points that you find most important. make this whole "brain dump" thing a routine; sometimes it takes a bit of writing until you actually get comfortable with putting your emotions onto paper (it sounds easier than it is..), but the more often you do this, the more comfortable you will get!! <3
As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3
love ya ・:*₊‧✩
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raeinyourdreams · 2 days ago
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'call it what you want.' | l.h x reader
pairings: logan howlett x sway!reader
tags: fluff, no established relationship but.. there's something there, mutant!reader (they call her sway due to her mutation.. i love her i wanna talk ab her someone PLEASE ASK AB HER), AFAB reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, no specific petnames for reader (just bub and her hero name.. gets called kid like twice), no use of y/n, written with x1/x2 logan in mind... sigh... save me x2 logan.. anyway, he gives reader his dog tags before a mission in case he.. you know.. so maybe angst? but only til the very end.
wc: 2k!!
a/n: OKAY SO BOOM! this is my first actual work that's not a drabble and i'm so anxious to post AAHHH, i got the inspo from a post i saw a while ago while fried as fuck from someone requesting a fic ab logan giving reader his dog tags, pref fluffy and angsty so i hope i did ur vision justice OP!! tysm for inspo, my reqs are always open 🫶🏻 also i know this is a very burnt card but if something in the wording is off lmk PLEASEE english isn't my first language 😭 anyway enough yapping plz enjoy!! any type of interaction is appreciated
'just know these are yours now.'
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you've never seen him without his dog tags, he never took them off, not ever since the first time he came into the mansion. you'd been there the first time, you were a teacher in the school, and you'd seen him occasionally roam the halls and stay by the door, listening in on your class, quietly. but very rarely interacted otherwise, just a simple nod or a 'good morning' that he'd return out of good manners, but he'd mostly keep to himself.
you're a teacher. you're the fun teacher. at least that's what your coworkers seemed to agree upon, seeing how your students appeared to leave your classroom more cheerful than they entered. you'd be lying if you said you didn't use your mutation as an advantage in this situation, being able to read your students' moods every day, how they were feeling and why came insanely handy, especially when it came to giving each student the type of care they needed. which is why you were also a student counselor.
on the days you didn't teach, you'd put that psych degree to work and counsel. in your classroom filled with drawings and fairy lights and stained glass that looked straight from a fairytale, and a door you'd lock for privacy as a student came to confide in you.
obviously despite your title, it wasn't only students who'd come to your office to let a feeling go, teachers too, needed a space to blow off some steam, cry a little sometimes, because they knew you'd soothe them in the end, touch your hand feel the pain dissipate, make it seem as if they'd never felt that way.
up until now, only teachers and students seemed to come to you for help. teachers. and students.
so it did surprise you when the wolverine started showing up in your office after coming back.
"must be tiring. to handle others' emotions like your own all day." he'd say, sitting down on a chair, to which you'd playfully roll your eyes and shake your head. "i don't treat them as my own, i just do what i have to do so they feel better." you'd reply, walking towards the door to lock it out of policy. figured that he was here for counseling as well.
"you treat everyone with so much care it seems like it." he said, which made you stop in your tracks, turning heel to face him, your hair cascading on your shoulders and moving ever so softly as you spun. before you could speak, stunned, he asked again.
"don't you get tired? i mean mentally. it must take a toll on you to be around so many emotions all the time." the way he seemed to read you stunned you, he seemed like a very gruff, cold person from the brief interactions you'd had with him before. truth be told, this was the closest you'd been to logan since he came back to the mansion. it's what other people thought of him, anyway.
but you weren't other people, you were different.
the feeling in your body when you perceive others emotions is strange. you could never put it into words. your mutation was mostly contact based, a small brush of the hand was enough to let you know that person's feelings, the reason behind them, what they needed to feel better and it made it easier to help everyone. you could, however, see and feel the emotions, sometimes even smell them if they were too strong, no need for contact necessary.
with logan, you almost didn't need to be in the same room as him to feel the amount of physical, mental, emotional strain he was constantly under, his superhuman body subconsciously tuning it out, making him oblivious to it. once, after a very dangerous mission, he isolated himself in his room for days, his expression cold and unfazed, but every time you'd walk past an area he was in, the emotions hit you like a truck. so strong you even cried over pain that wasn't yours, a life you hadn't lived.
you looked at him sympathetically, taking a deep breath to concentrate less on the seemingly invisible fog around you two as you sat on the chair, your expression calm and collected. "i'm okay, i promise. thank you, logan."
"like hell you are." "neither are you."
he stays quiet at your retaliation, a weak smile forming on his lips, letting you understand that you were right, not that you needed confirmation.
sometimes, when emotions overpower you, you feel compelled to speak, give words of reassurance, even if you didn't quite know if they'd help or not. "logan, you should let people into your heart, stop living in fear.." you blurted out, unsure of why you were telling him this, but you'd learned to not question it and just speak, because it helped to just hear the words sometimes. it certainly did get you a reaction from logan, as the overbearing feelings you were perceiving faded.. briefly, before they slowly crept back into vision.
it was the faintest of reactions, but a reaction at least.
he nodded, taking in the words silently, as if he were contemplating. you remained stoic, analyzing his demeanor out of pure habit. "did.. you come here for counseling?" you asked, suddenly aware that you were still working, and you weren't even sure if he was here for another reason, or if he did need your help. instead, he shook his head, looking at you as if he were conducting an analysis of his own.
"nah, just came to see you.. sway."
a knock on the door interrupted the brewing tension, a gloomy, childlike presence behind the door, to which you looked at logan apologetically. "i'm sorry logan, i have a student to attend.. but think about what i said." you spoke softly, your warm voice reverberating in his ears like a hug.. something he longed for but couldn't bring himself to ask.
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you started seeing him around the classroom more, or rather, he started seeking you out more. in between breaks, before his training, during counseling. it got to a point where your children started greeting him hello and goodbye if he was in the classroom, interacting with him, playing with his hair, always styled like kitty ears. the way he just smiled and let them made something in you bloom, a feeling you couldn't recognize in yourself, but it was pink and warm and fuzzy all over. you couldn't help but wonder if he felt about you this way, too.
slowly, you noticed how, little by little, the gloomy cloud surrounding him would go away when he entered the classroom, how it would be replaced with a pink haze when he looked into your eyes, or made you laugh.. it would quickly fade away, but you'd notice, and noticed how much it resembled that feeling inside you: pink and warm and fuzzy all over.
as time went by, you got used to seeing him around, swinging by your classroom as if it was his haven, a small break from the world he knew, because you were in it. you'd be lying if you said he didn't make you day too, the gloomy atmosphere that once came along with him every time he entered your classroom slowly changing into a lilac haze.
one day, he showed up as the kids were leaving for the day, no colored cloud, but something seemed off. you invited him to sit down as he locked the door after getting in, his expression serene. before you could even speak his hands were on you, pulling you close to him in a hug, and you swore you could feel him shaking slightly. the realization hits you like a bucket of cold water and you just hold him tighter to you, since it feels like the only correct thing to do.
"you're scared."
"no one gets to see me like this, so feel special." said he, almost as if he was confiding a secret in you, which he was.
"oh, trust me, i feel quite special." you replied jokingly, which caused him to let out a chuckle, though it was dull and almost no feeling was tied to it.
you two let go and you asked him what was wrong, and he opened up like it was routine.
"i leave tomorrow. there's a mission out of state and they're asking me to go.. might be off the grid after that for a while." he explained, his voice remained calm but his eyes seemed to reveal to you more of how he was actually feeling.
"i dunno.. thought someone should've known in case.. things go south." your expression changed at that, and logan noticed. "ah, c'mon bub, change that frown, it's just reality. sure, i might be a piece of work to kill but it doesn't mean i can't die."
the silence that fell upon the classroom as you two finished speaking made the words fall with more weight into your heart, it did little to nothing to comfort you as you came to terms with what he said. it shouldn't have been hard - he was just stating a fact -, but it didn't mean that it didn't cut deep for you. you opened your mouth to speak, unsure of what you were even going to say, but he quickly cut you off.
"logan-" "listen, bub, you told me to start letting people into my heart.. i'm letting you in."
slowly, his hands went to unclasp the chain that always dangled on his neck, dog tags adorning his neck with his names, his identities. you looked in awe as he held them out to you. "gimme your hand, kid." and surprisingly, you did as you were told, holding your hand out as he placed the piece on your hand, feeling the cold metal clink softly as it fell and heat up under the temperature of your palm. you looked up at him, unsure of what it meant, of what this changed between you two, but it felt undeniable, even if unspoken.
“now, these.. they’re very special, bub. a reminder of everything that happened that led to here.. and it’s leading me to you right now.” he explained. “feels right for you to have them, i guess.. keep them safe, kid.”
the silence that fell between you two again was more comfortable, filled with a newfound tension that left much to question, but it didn’t feel right to interrupt with all that noise yet. the only sound filling the room was the breathing and a faint humming of the white noise machine you kept in your room, next by the door. you opened up your mouth again, your mind utterly blank and filled with thoughts and questions at the same time, unsure of which one was going to breach through your mind to materialize out in the cold, tense air.
“.. why me? trust me, i’m flattered, but i’m no one special, logan..” you questioned, and it made him frown.
“you are special. you're special to me.” your eyes widened at the confession and you watched as a soft smile settled on his face, one that made your heart flutter with the sheer tenderness he held in his gaze. “call it what you want.. just know these are yours now.” he said it so calmly, you wouldn't have tought he was handing you his heart, placing it in soft, tender hands and pleading you to not break it, not change it, and instead embrace it and accept it as it came, rough around the edges.
with that, he stood up from the chair, took your hand to squeeze it briefly, and walked out of the room, not before looking back at you one last time, the heaviness that he carried as he entered the room seemingly gone, all that you could perceive was a haze, all too familiar, one that left as quick as it came as his eyes met yours.
pink, warm, and fuzzy all over.
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additional author's note: BOOM SHAKALAKA I POSTED FINALLY!! i think it's a little rushed BUT!! it's cause i have a (smutty) part 2 planned for this HEHEJEHE i don't like writing (or reading) series bcs i get sad when they end but i just might.... hehehe... anyway pls lmk what u think!! or i kill off logan 🥰🥰 your choice 🥰🥰
taglist: @allen-444
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triptychgardener · 3 days ago
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Oh also am I being a tad reductive when talking about the quadrants? Yeah absolutely. But I do think it's important to see what the comic actually says and demonstrates about relationships within these frameworks, rather than trying to find like. Some platonic ideal of a "TRUE" romance, or trying to figure out how the quadrants are actually *supposed* to work.
Like. We're supposed to take Meowrails as the platonic (no pun intended) ideal of a moiraillegience. They are quite literally used as The Symbol for it in comic (their typing quirks forming the <>).
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And when we see their initial relationship online, it is... not great to say the least!
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Equius is domineering and dismissive of Nepeta's agency, and is very explicitly *keeping her away from her friends* in this game, and keeping her with him, ostensibly for protection, a thing he does an awful lot despite Nepeta clearly being very capable (see him keeping Nepeta from FLARPing with the other teams. Even if that, in universe, may have been a good idea.)
And even though we do see softer moments between the two of them, and their relationships seems to have improved by the time we reach [S] Equius: Seek the highb100d, this is one of our FIRST demonstrations of a pair of moirails in the comic, designed to be indicative on the concept. In our other examples, Vriska seems barely cognizant of the idea that she's even IN a relationship with Kanaya to begin with, and it falls apart due to the boundaries between pale and red romance (boundaries that, like the human boundary between "friend" and "lover," are artificially constructed); Karkat and Gamzee failed so horribly that Karkat gives up, and it fails to prevent Gamzee from enacting more violence on Terezi; Feferi finds it utterly exhausting to constantly be preventing Eridan from committing violence, and rightfully breaks it off with him; and finally, Terezi is unable to prevent Vriska from inflicting a final and great violence upon herself at the end of the comic, especially when she wants clearly to be Vriska's everything.
For kismessitude, I keep seeing people groping around in the dark for what a True, Healthy Kismessitude is, and I really hope I don't have to tell you that you shouldn't build a relationship off of mutual hate. Our key example given for black romance is, well.
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A relationship that literally always ends up with one member murdering the other. In both universes.
Also notable is that we almost never see a kismessitude where there *isn't* some significant power imbalance between the two parties. The Black Queen is Jack Noir's boss, Equius literally designs Aradiabot to be utterly subservient to him, and Gamzee specifically uses Terezi's disability and insecurity to trap her into a relationship with him.
A healthy rivalry or making fun jabs at each other is one thing. But a system is what it does, and kismessistude consistently produces abuse and often fatal violence between two people. The only one that ends without that violence is Eridan and Vriska. And that was just because Vriska didn't really care anymore.
Auspisticism is pretty rare in the comic, and even most of the characters don't seem to have a very strong grasp on the subject. Our example is... Kanaya auspisticizing between Vriska and Tavros.
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Which mostly just feels like Kanaya is trying to stop Vriska from picking on Tavros, not facilitating a relationship.
Kanaya is kind of our Key Person here though, being described as "the vvillage twwo wwheel devvice" by Eridan when he is trying to proposition her to auspisticize between him and Vriska. It's a mediative position, that seems to mostly be used in attempts by Eridan to make women talk to him (getting Kanaya to mediate between him and Vriska, trying to get Feferi to mediate him and Sollux, both times unsuccessful because, again, they don't care.) It also exhausts Kanaya, she doesn't like it, and she's not very good at it, if there even is a good state to be in for auspisticizing, as anyone who's had to deal with polycule drama knows.
Ultimately, it's a way to offload the emotional baggage of a toxic relationship, either extant or imminent, onto a third party (always a woman for some reason! Funny that) because Alternian relationship structures seem designed to encourage violence and aggression for the purposes of imperialist expansion.
The REAL point where it matters is when Rose starts to get into Auspisticism, and we start to see when it can really go wrong.
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During Game Over, while Gamzee is ACTIVELY BRUTALIZING TEREZI, Rose, who has been talking to both parties and trying to auspisticize, freezes.
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Trying to understand this framework as an extant thing is actively causing her to undergo analysis paralysis. She sees, obviously, brutal violence being inflicted on her friend, but because she has positioned herself as the mediator of an obviously abusive relationship, the maintenance of this relationship is suddenly a priority in trying to navigate it. Her fear of getting in the way of what could be a "normal" relationship loses her precious seconds that may have ended up costing lives.
This sort of thing happens all the time. When you see a relationship as an object and a structure whose preservation is worth striving for, even when there is nothing to be gained by maintaining that relationship, it can leave you trapped in abusive and toxic scenarios. On Earth, the preservation of marriages beyond the point where one or both members of the contract get anything positive from it causes devastating unhappiness, inequality and abuse. The preservation of these structures has a purpose.
In America, as well as many other countries on Earth, the purpose of the institution of marriage is largely to put reproductive and financial power in the hands of men, and to construct the nuclear family along the lines which maintain structures like Christianity, capitalism and patriarchy. That has just historically been the case. Does that mean that no one should get married, or that no one can be happy in a marriage? Of course not. But people didn't fight for things like gay marriage, and are still fighting for marriage equality for disabled people and other groups, just for the sake of being "normal." They did it for a lot of reasons. Hospital visitation rights, the ability to have some say in what happens to their partners after death, insurance sharing.
But as the institution of marriage is expanding to include more people, we should really start questioning why these sorts of things are locked behind a contract that also assumes A Lot Of Things about two people that may not necessarily be true, i.e. a desire to live together, have sex, reproduce, share financial interests etc, when a more holistic approach to relationships where they aren't simply All or Nothing is going to make a lot of people a lot happier.
There's a couple of specific phrases in wider Homestuck Fanon that always bothered me. Those being that a relationship "is beyond or transcends quadrants" and that someone wants another person "in all four quadrants." Partially because it always seemed to just describe two people who really really love each other a lot, semantically similar to us calling something True Love but I digress. Like, in an ideal world, most relationships would transcend quadrants! Individual aspects of each type of relationship that are usually cordoned off should be available for you to pick and choose. The lines between a friend and a rival and a lover should be obliterated, but it's said instead to indicate when someone is No For Real In Love, when usually it's just two people who are human dating. There's a good swathe of people who seem to think that all the quadrants are bad EXCEPT for red which is the Normal Human Way Of Being In Love and is therefore good. I mean, this is kind of the whole thing the Candy timeline is based around, right? Everyone cordoning themselves off into neat little marriages, having babies and living in suburban houses with white picket fences.
And we all know how well that's going.
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arnivold · 1 day ago
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Having played Emmrich's romance from start to finish I can say it does a shockingly good job of realistically portraying a romance with a significant age gap, speaking from experience as someone who once dated a guy in his fifties while I was in my twenties
Spoilers under the cut
So when you first start flirting with Emmrich, he doesn't assume you're being serious or doesn't even register it as flirting. Then he realizes what's going on and plays along with it. Then he starts flirting back, and uh oh we both acknowledged there's chemistry and now we have to figure out what we're gonna do with it.
Then you start dating. Or at least you're sorta dating. And your friends notice what's going on and immediately they voice their concerns. Are you sure this is a good idea? Happy for you but do you think maybe you're going a little too fast? Does the older person have bad intentions here? These are all questions the companions and even Hezenkoss ask in banter when you start the romance with Emmrich
And yeah when you first start dating someone new these questions don't seem to matter cause you're in love. You're charmed by Emmrich's gentlemanly ways, Emmrich likes the feeling of having a young person show interest in him because it makes him feel younger so he doesn't have to grapple with his mortality
But then as shit gets more and more serious and you near the end of Act 2, Emmrich wants to have a genuine discussion with you about the relationship. He's concerned that maybe this isn't such a good idea after all, because even though you both have the best of intentions, eventually you will have to deal with losing him and it will be decades before you have to worry about your own death.
And you have to ask yourself, is this serious or not? How are we gonna introduce each other to our families? Are you prepared to care for a sick/elderly spouse in your 40s and 50s? If you want to have children, are you prepared to handle having a partner who is already a generation apart from you and old enough to be your children's grandparent? How will it look when an older person in a teaching position is dating someone the same age as their students?
And for a lot of people these are serious obstacles to having a serious long term relationship! And discussions like that often do end in a fight like it does in Emmrich's romance! It happened to me in my relationship with an older man, too! It didn't work for me in my specific case but some people are able to work that stuff out, and in the case of Rook and Emmrich, they eventually do. But those are important discussions to have when you enter that kind of relationship
Idk man, the whole time I was romancing him I kept hearing the same comments my friends and family made about my relationship, the same arguments and discussions we had about the logistics of that kind of relationship, etc. etc. I figured they were just gonna go the route of indulgent wish fulfilment, and I was left slack-jawed when the game actually delves into the realities of dating in age gaps that large
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just-dreaming-marvel · 2 days ago
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Love That Burns ~ 30
LOVE THAT BURNS MASTERLIST
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< previous chapter
Word Count: 1,855ish
Summary: You and Logan still struggle with your relationship. The two of you make a decision to help ease the struggles.
Warnings: Emotional, Angst, Injuries
Notes: crossing my fingers that you guys will be okay with this chapter...
Reminder: I DO NOT do taglists. Please don’t ask. Please follow and interact! I appreciate any reblogs, likes, comments, and asks! 
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“So, how are you and Logan doing?” Ororo asked one morning at breakfast.
“Fine,” you responded with a shrug. “We have a lot of work to do, but we’re working through it.”
“He does seem a little more on edge around the kids, as do you.”
You sighed. “I’ve actually been thinking… I think Logan and I should go away for a while.”
“Wait, you two want to leave?”
“I haven’t brought it up to Logan yet, and it wouldn’t be forever… we just need a space where we can focus on just the two of us. We’re constantly thrown every which way with classes, missions, and world-ending scenarios. Logan and I need to simply be us for a while and figure out what that means.”
“I… do whatever you have to do.” Ororo stood up. “I’ve got a class to teach.”
“Ororo, please stay and talk.” 
But she slipped out of the room. You sighed, hiding your head in your hands. That was the position Logan found you in. He quietly came up behind you and rested your hands on your shoulders. He leaned down and kissed the back of your neck.
“What’s wrong?” He whispered against your neck.
You leaned back into him, looking up at him. “I made Ororo upset.”
“What did you do?” You sighed, looking back down. “Hey.” He sat down beside you. “I thought we were doing better with the talking shit.” He hooked a finger under your chin and guided your face to look at him. “Tell me.”
“I told Ororo about something I was going to talk to you about.”
“And that was…?”
“About leaving.”
“Leaving?”
“I was thinking that we need some time to ourselves. To figure things out and just be us.”
“But this is your home. Would you really be okay leaving it?”
“Logan, you’re my home. And you were long before this was.”
Logan studied your gaze and could see that you were telling the truth, but he worried that after a while, he wouldn’t be enough. You at least had people here, other mutants, to lean on when the two of you were struggling. If it’s just you and him? Then you’d have no one. Logan was okay with that for himself but not for you.
“I thought that we’ve been doing well here,” Logan said, trying to see if he could get you to change your mind. 
His words took you back. “You want to stay? You’re constantly trying to run.”
“I just want you to really think about it, sweetheart. I don’t want you to leave and then regret it.”
“You think that I’d regret being with you?”
“That’s not what I said—“
You pulled away, standing up. “But it’s what you meant, right?”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.” He stood up as well, growing angry. 
“Do you not want this long-term, Logan? Am I just your person until a new, better one comes along?”
“Hey! That’s not fair!”
“Morning! Oh—“ Bobby stopped in the doorway. “I can see that this is not a good time, so I—“
“No, Bobby, we’re done here,” you told him, rushing off.
“Y/N!” Logan yelled after you, hurrying to follow you. He followed you into the gardens. “Now, who’s running?!”
“Oh, please,” you spun around. “You’ve wanted to run since the moment you got here!”
“Yes, but I stayed for you!”
“Oh, I feel so honored.”
“You know what, maybe I should go. Since it’s clear that I’m unable to hit the high expectations you have set for me.”
“You are the reason for those high expectations.”
“Ugh! I’m not that person anymore! And I’m sick and tired of feeling like shit all the time about that!”
Logan’s hand flew out as he was talking, his claws accidentally unsheathing. Before either of you knew it, the claws were cutting against your cheek. You gasped, stumbling back as your hand came up to hold your cheek.
“Oh my God,” he sputtered. He hid his claws before reaching for you. “Sweetheart—“ You stepped back, breaking both of your hearts. Logan’s fingers were tingling. If you didn’t let him try to fix this—if you didn’t let him touch you, Logan would never trust himself to touch someone again. “Please let me—“
“No,” you shook your head, tears falling down your cheeks. “Just… leave me alone.”
You rushed off back into the mansion. You knew that Logan didn’t mean to hurt you, but you needed time and space. 
Logan was frozen in his spot. The high emotions had gotten the best of both of you, but especially his claws. He had hurt you, and he was fully conscious for it. This was different than him having a nightmare. This was much worse.
~~~
You had sat in front of the mirror, watching the three cuts along your cheek heal into scars. Tears streamed down your face the entire time while you thought of Logan. Both of you were in the wrong here, and this was a complete accident. You were thinking about what to say to Logan when you started to hear drawers slamming in Logan’s room. Rushing out of your room, you looked into his room to see him stuffing his clothes into a bag.
“What are you doing?” You whispered.
Logan spun to face you. Slowly, his hand reached out to brush against the scars on your cheek, but he didn’t let his hand actually make contact.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” his voice was completely broken, tears lining his eyes. “I never wanted to be the one to hurt you… yet I keep doing it.” He shook his head and got back to packing. “I have to go.”
“What?”
“I can’t keep hurting you. I can’t be the person you need… The person I was before…”
“And this will make it better? I’ve messed up in this relationship, too. This is not just on you. I’m sorry for making it seem like I’m forcing you to be that person again. I know that you’ve changed, so I have, and that’s okay. I still love you.”
“You shouldn’t.”
“Stop that.” You slipped in between him and the dresser. He kept his head down, not willing to make eye contact. “Fine. Tell me you don't love me, and I’ll let you walk away. But you have to look me in the eye and be honest with me.”
You nibbled your bottom lip as you waited for Logan to make the next move. You could tell that there was a war waging in his mind. His eyes suddenly snapped to yours.
“I… I can’t do that,” he murmured. “I love you.”
You quickly pulled him by his shirt to kiss him. He dropped his bag and slid his hands to the small of your back.
“If you really want to leave,” you whispered against his lips, “then you have to take me with you.”
“Okay,” he replied. 
~~~
“It’s not forever,” you said as you hugged Ororo. “We’ll stay in contact and visit. Logan and I just need to figure things out.”
“I’ll miss you,” Ororo responded, pulling back. “I’ll miss the both of you.”
“You ready?” Logan asked, coming up from the truck he had just packed. 
He had already said goodbye to Marie and Bobby before packing the truck, knowing that you would need some time with Ororo.
“I think so,” you responded. “See you later, Ororo.”
“See you,” she replied.
You took Logan’s hand, and he led you to the truck. He opened the door and helped you in before going around to the driver’s seat. You turned back and watched as the mansion grew smaller and smaller in the distance. Logan placed a hand on your knee, giving it a slight squeeze.
“Are you okay?” He asked, clearly concerned. “We can turn back around.”
You laced your fingers through his and scooted closer to Logan, very thankful for the bench seat. “I’m okay,” you told him. You kissed his shoulder. “Where are we headed?”
“I have a place in mind.”
“Care to tell?”
“Not yet. Why don’t you get some rest?”
“You sure?”
He leaned over and kissed your head. “I’m sure.”
You hummed in content as you rested your head on his shoulder and let yourself relax. Logan’s lifted up in a barely-there smile as you tried your best to cuddle into him. 
~~~
You didn’t bother to ask Logan where the two of you were headed again. You kept yourself occupied with books and naps when you weren’t talking to Logan. It was already proving to be worth it, as the farther the two of you drove from the mansion, the less tension there was. Logan insisted on driving the whole way, and so far you’ve had to beg him to stop to sleep in motels for the three nights you’ve been on the road so far.
It didn’t shock you when the two of you crossed over into Canada. You figured that Logan would always feel a call back there. The shock factor was later as the two of you drove up an old, familiar road in the Canadian Rockies.
“Logan, where—“
“Just patience, okay?” He cut you off. “I’ll explain soon.”
You simply nodded, focusing on the trees you were passing out the window. Your heart started pounding the closer you got to the top. Before you knew it, the small house appeared and Logan was pulling up to it. It looked just how you remembered it. You were too busy staring that you didn’t realize Logan had gotten out of the truck and walked around to your side. He opened the door and took your hand.
“Come on,” he urged, tugging you out of the truck. “Let’s go inside.”
“Inside?” You repeated. “It’s probably a disaster. We—“ Your eyes widened as Logan pulled you inside. The place was clean, updated, and furnished. “What? How?”
“Charles. We had a conversation about when Jean died, and I got part of my memories back. He knew that we would need a place to start over and found where we used to live. Before I could stop it, he had people here fixing it up.”
You let go of his hand and began slowly walking around the house. Your hands gently trailed against the walls and updated pieces of furniture. 
“You and Charles…” you breathed out. “You did all this?”
“Is it okay?” Logan was clearly nervous. “We can go somewhere else. I just know that this was the—“ You shut him up with a kiss.
“This is perfect. Thank you. But know that I don't expect you to be the same person as before. Time has changed both of us… are you okay with being here?”
“Yes. I even already got a job as a lumberjack.”
“Oh, got the old job back?”
Logan chuckled. “Somethin’ like that. I start in a week.”
“So I have a week of you all to myself?”
“A whole week.” He pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your lips. 
“Can we try out the new bed?”
A devious smirk formed over Logan’s lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”
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thatnonameuser · 2 days ago
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Yelloow!! popping in!!!~~ I've seen Dorms, Grim and Staff as Yandere types.... But what of Neige(Vil's Rival), Chenya, and Rollo??~
I know that there are different takes from different kinds of Yandere AU's -- but out of curiosity, I wish of your take!
Let’s do the RSA boys first. 
Royal Sword Academy has a reputation for accepting the ‘princely’ yanderes. Unlike the NRC students, they don’t tend to act on violence unless they have to and their red flags aren’t as bad in comparison. 
But a red flag is still a red flag. 
RSA teaches more gentle ways of pushing darlings to their yanderes. Specifically while they use kidnappings, potions and the works, they use their affection as ball and chain to make sure leaving them is impossible. 
They’re taught to become friends first, and then start being more and more oppressively clingy. To slowly break down the darling’s defenses and walls, and leave them weak to their affection with the power of friendship, love and complete and utter manipulation. 
But it’s not manipulation, it’s being a loving partner.
Chenya’s a bit of unpredictable yandere. He’s a hard read but he’s clingy and a stalker. Chenya’s not overbearing at first. He’s friendly, cryptic but friendly, and then you’ll start to notice him around more and more. Which you might get worried about when he starts to pop up more and more in a school full of people who hate RSA. But he’ll just keep popping up and since your friends, why worry? 
Thanks to his magic, it is very easy for him to vanish and appear as quickly as the wind. So following you around is easy as pie, and with his aforementioned cryptic behavior, it will be quite difficult for you to understand his intentions. Kidnapping you would be a breeze for him, one moment you’re there and the next you're stuck with him forever and ever. 
But with Chenya, you probably won't see the threat of danger till you're too lost to figure your way out. On the brightside, you might like it. Maybe.
Neige LeBlanche ( I am a big BIG fan of the most innocent and gentle seeming people being the most manipulative motherfuckers. So…) is yandere that was actually misdiagnosed as a darling. Neige’s sweet, kind and gentle behavior in his youth lead to his misdiagnosis, and as a yandere he is a mix of delusional and manipulative. Delusional, he believes in true love and happy endings. Finding the perfect partner for his happy ending is a dream for him. (The man thinks of Vil as a friend, he’s deluded plain and simple) But while his delusions fuel his love for you, his manipulative ways can keep you there with no choice. Among the darling child stars of Twisted, Neige held quite the crown back when he was misdiagnosed, and no one can deny darlings anything (minus freedom). His demeanor is so well-meaning that any manipulative behavior is considered to be him just being a good friend or partner. He’s oppressively clingy too, and his manipulation makes sure that the people he cares about are always close. 
For this AU, Neige is a platonic yandere for Vil, and has purposely been sabotaging his casting so that Vil always and only performs with him. 
He’s the kind of yandere that wouldn’t risk killing someone to make you unhappy, but that’s not to say that his fans wouldn’t try to beat his rivals into the ground to protect dear sweet Neige. Neige is aware of how devoted his fans are to him, and he’ll use that to manipulate you, using the pressure to keep you with him, wouldn’t want them to be unhappy, would you?
Noble Bell College has a history with yanderes like many others, but its view on the yandere darling relationship is much different to the rest of the world, and many in Fleur City agree with it. Specifically, that yanderes are the ones in the wrong for their uncontrollable desires and the darlings are…. Well…. Darlings are the embodiment of purity. They haven’t done a single thing wrong to be thrown into this dirty world and yet here they walk amongst the selfish and licentious. But the darlings are not immune to the temptations of the dirty world, and can be lured into danger.
Most, if not all the yanderes at NBC believe that their desires are wrong yet impossible to beat without their darlings. And they all believe that darlings are pure, but in need of salvation from the dirty world. The Righteous Judge had a darling himself, a romani that had fallen for the dirty world’s enchanting song, who he saved and brought her to salvation. (Sure she wasn’t happy about it and the flaming pyre she’d nearly died on was purposely left out of the history books but hey, happy ending?)
Students in NBC are taught that sometimes force is needed to help darlings save themselves from the wretched world. And they won’t be happy about it, it’s for the best. For their salvation. 
Rollo Flamme is a worshiper yandere with a guilty conscience. A devout believer of the ‘darlings are the purest things to be born of this sinful earth’, Rollo has faithfully believed that, and even magical darlings cannot receive his ire because he believes that they had been tempted by its power, thanks this world’s filth, and need to be saved. 
When it comes to you, a magicless darling not from this sinful, magical world, you rest highest on the podium of purity in his eyes. And because of that, you need to be saved from it, and those who intend to tempt and sully you. 
As for the guilty conscience part….To make adjustments for the AU, I’m making Rollo’s younger brother a darling. But because of how it happened being ambiguous at the time, Rollo was never punished, but this is why he is so protective over you specifically because magic could tear you away from him like his brother. 
In Rollo’s eyes, his darling is the purest thing in the world and if he needs to sully his own hands in every way to rid the world of the filth trying to tempt and defile you all so you can be lead to salvation and the safety of his arms, he’ll do it.
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gamblersdoll · 1 day ago
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can you write something about midoriya, bakugou, shoto todoroki, Karishima and kaminari being subs? tyy<3
these are mostly hcs, but here you go!
midoriya is of course a sweet thing, its more common for him to actually just let you use him and hed be happy with it. he’s just “she could step on me and id say sorry.” he also just rolls his eyes when you give him head, so how can he deny you to climb ontop of him and ride him?
bakugou.. he has to warm up first. hes so used to being a bitch, so, he acts like a brat at first, denying you to make him feel good. he wants to make you feel good, so how the fuck can he do that when he’s a bottom? he learns quickly that if he just listened and stop being so stuck up.. it feels so much better. even when hes balls deep and ontop of you, hes a mess. hes all whimpers and shivers and hes the one fucking you.
shoto, hes frankly new to sex, so he hasnt figured out what he likes. hell, he isnt really a sexual person, so him leaning to a bottom is a possibility. big but! he does like that thing you do when you throat him , lick his balls, then go lower and jerk him slow. it feels too damn good— where and how did you even learn that? what made it feel so good to him? he didnt know, its still so new. of course though.. it catches him off guard and hes covering his mouth so he isnt too loud.
now KIRI, my favorite, hes into the muzzle. he likes being considered a mutt that only gets rewarded when hes behaving well. he has a love hate relationship with the facial garment, hes just sometimes a teether and doesnt know when not to bite you. his protests of “please, no no,i promise i wont bite you again” to “use me, make me dumb, im just a mutt and toy for your usage.” praise!! he loves it, he melts and will almost cream on the spot. (not unless you tell him to, then he’s slowing down to ask permission)
now kami? hes a switch, dont get me wrong, but he loves being used. you could be riding him and he has those dildo thruster machines going into his hole. and hes more into the bdsm thing than anyone else.. its lowkey how kirishima got into the muzzle, but he likes the idea of having fingers down his throat, hands and feet tied to the bed, and occasionally slapping him. (he sometimes short circuits, so you have to be careful.)
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smolbeanie1221 · 14 hours ago
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I’m aroace, I don’t experience sexual or romantic attraction at all, as best as I can tell. In a book about asexuality, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, the author talks about how people who don’t experience sexual attraction have to explain that by trying to explain exactly what it is that they lack, and how can you explain something or be sure you don’t experience it if it’s something you lack? Anyways that’s partly what I mean when I said “as best as I can tell” because I honestly have no idea what sexual or romantic attraction actually feels like. I am almost certain I’ve never experienced sexual attraction, and I’m fairly sure I’ve never experienced romantic attraction. I would say that I’ve experienced romantic yearning, a desire for romantic feelings and a romantic relationship, but I can’t say for sure that I’ve ever actually experienced romantic attraction.
The way I experience attraction to people that I want to date or have some type of committed relationship, partnership, whatever you want to call it, the type of attraction I have to those people is what I consider alterous. Alterous attraction is commonly described as being something in between romantic and platonic, and I would agree and say for me, that it is also between sexual. I can’t describe an attraction I don’t consciously experience, I can’t describe sexual or romantic attraction, and while I know what platonic attraction and queerplatonic attraction both feel like because I have felt those, trying to describe those attractions is difficult. For me, alterous attraction is somewhere between all those types of attraction, and I would say the attraction I could most clearly name and describe for my partners or people I wanted to be my partners would be queerplatonic. But it’s more than just queerplatonic for me, exactly what it feels like alters depending on the person, the situation, unknown factors. But it never reaches anything I could actually name as truly romantic or truly sexual, and it rarely seems to alter into purely platonic attraction, and if it does change into purely platonic, it would be how I feel towards an ex that I’m on good terms with or have fond memories of.
Another way I could describe alterous attraction, without using the pre-existing terms of other forms of attraction, is say that it’s an attraction to the feeling of intimacy from that person. I haven’t figured out a good way to phrase that yet, but basically it’s being attracted to a person because of the sense of intimacy you feel with and from them. And yes, this might sound very similar to demi- types of attraction, where emotional connection is necessary. And someone could easily describe demi- types of attraction the same way I just described alterous. I did used to identify as demi-rose, demiromantic and demisexual, because of the emotional connection and intimacy that I needed in order to form an attraction to someone. But there was still that missing element. There was an attraction, yes, but it still wasn’t either those elusive romantic butterflies-in-the-stomach or the spark and heat of sexual attraction. My attraction to those people, whom I had an emotional connection and sense of intimacy with, my attraction to them still remained distinctly other. And that’s why I started identifying my attraction as alterous and dropping the demi-rose label, because I never quite got the rose part.
And this is only talking about my alterous attraction, my attraction specifically to people I would want to “date” in some sense of the word.
There’s aesthetic attraction, sensual attraction, and other types of attraction that I might feel.
Towards literally anyone, regardless of their gender, I might feel basically any type of attraction other than romantic or sexual.
Aesthetic attraction is probably the one I feel most often and usually the only type of attraction I might feel towards a complete stranger. Sensual attraction, which I would say for me is an appreciation of their body (rather than just their appearance which I personally say is aesthetic attraction), sensual attraction is much more rare and I think it’s only been a couple actors I felt that towards. And sensual attraction, for me it has nothing to do with sex or desire, although it is probably the closest I’ve gotten to understanding sexual attraction.
My point in all this, aroace literally only has to do with two types of attraction, romantic and sexual. There are so many other kinds of attraction, but allo people typically experience them at the same time as they experience sexual and/or romantic attraction, so they aren’t always aware of them.
If you’re aroace, how can you be pan/bi/les/gay etc…?
YOU JUST DON’T GET IT OKAY?
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fiona-fififi · 1 day ago
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You know, the more I think about it, the more I do actually think a storyline about Buck fucking around (or at least dating around) would be interesting. Like, my first instinct was that it would be bad for Buck, specifically, because he's always used sex in unhealthy ways and because I really do think he's seeking a permanent kind of love.
But, you know, that's not working for him right now. He's spent 8 years entering what he hopes to be long-term, forever kinds of relationships and they just keep falling through. Abby, Ali, Taylor, Natalia, Tommy. Five failed relationships, all of which he clung to beyond their expiration date (well, all except Ali, I guess). That's a lot for him to just want to try to jump in with another person he doesn't know and try to make it work, and he has just discovered this new part of his identity—which, of course, for some people, they wouldn't need to explore—but I do think it's something a single, unattached Buck would want to explore.
And I don't even necessarily think this would have to be a backslide. But if it was, that would be okay, too, because healing isn't linear and people fuck up and do things that aren't good for them all the time, and Buck feeling hopeless and going back to his old ways because what he really wants isn't working, makes a lot of sense to me. I will admit, my first instinct was that I didn't want him to backslide, but actually, I do think there would be an interesting story to tell there, and it might even sell the way his character has stagnated in the same boring, unfulfilling relationships over and over again by calling attention to it and recognizing that Buck is feeling it, too—not just that the particular most recent relationship has failed, but that he's feeling like he's not worthy, can't make things work, isn't meant to be loved because it keeps happening. Which I don't think they've ever explored in depth before.
So having Buck backslide, or even just take a step back and decide he wants to have some casual sex for a bit while he tries to figure himself out (and by that, I do not mean his sexuality, but rather what he needs to make him happy), then I think there actually could be a really interesting story to be told there that would be both very true to the character and would serve to break this broken record of storylines for him (because yeah, it's been done before, but at least not since s1, really).
And honestly, I'm not sure where else they would go with Buck right now. This does actually feel like a logical progression for him, and I can't think of anything else they could do with him unless they decide to speedrun buddie and/or intertwine him fully with the Eddie and Chris plot (which I could see happening, and I also think could work). But beyond that, I don't see an obvious logical story progression for Buck at this moment, and I would rather see him backslide a bit with this than have them slap some completely random new plotline on him without warning, because we've all seen how poorly those have been handled lately.
And as an aside, I could also see a Buck backslide potentially causing some of the tension they're talking about for Buck and Eddie. Because Eddie's never directly known that part of Buck, and last season, he was ensuring Buck that he'd seen the growth in him and trusted him to talk to Christopher because of his past and his growth beyond it. And I could see Eddie struggling a bit with a side of Buck he's never actually encountered before, and maybe (if it is a legitimate backslide for him, and he's using casual sex as an unhealthy coping mechanism) with a part of Buck he doesn't know how to help.
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actuallysaiyan · 1 day ago
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Learning To Love(Sugar Daddy!Toshinori Yagi/All Might x Sugar Baby!Fem!Reader)
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warnings: smut, unprotected sex, love hotel, sugar daddy and sugar baby relationship, love confessions, water jet masturbation, oral sex(male receiving) word count: 3.3k!!!! pairings: Sugar Daddy!Toshinori Yagi/All Might x Sugar Baby!Fem!Reader summary: you've been seeing each other for a while now and while it's supposed to be casual, it becomes everything far from casual
a/n: special thanks to @mightytato. for helping to keep me motivated and inspired!!!!!!!
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dividers: @adornedwithlight.
taglist: @thissaintjessi.  @cherryblossombankai, @thestarsystemsworld
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It wasn’t what he wanted. It was actually really far from what he was wanting. A love hotel wasn’t the place to bring someone special to, but damn…was he getting ahead of himself again? This is just another one of your quick dates. That’s all it is, nothing more. He has to keep reminding himself that this isn’t anything official.
You two started seeing each other about nine months ago. You met through some acquaintances that figured you’d be a good match. Toshinori was looking for someone to keep him company, and you were looking for someone to take care of you financially. And when you two finally were introduced, it was instantaneous how you two clicked.
Looking back on it, Toshinori realizes how quickly he fell for you. He knows this isn’t that kind of relationship, but he can’t help but fantasize about how good it would be to be yours for good. How proud he would be to be your lover and to be the one you call yours. He dreams about it more often than he’d like to admit.
“Toshi!” He hears your beautiful voice call out. “Hey!”
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When he turns to look at you, his breath hitches in his throat. You’re wearing such a cute outfit today; then again, you always wear such a cute outfit when you’re with him. His heart flutters in his chest when you jump up and wrap your arms around him.
“Missed you so much, daddy.” You coo softly before you give him a kiss.
“Missed you too, sweetness. I’m glad you’re here.”
This is when he begins to blush. He almost forgot about his plans. A friend had mentioned this place to him and talked up about how fun it was to stay with someone intimate. The way they described the intimacy had been quite enticing to him.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, tenderly caressing his cheek.
He nearly coughs up blood when you ask this. “Well…uhm…”
His bangs fall down in front of his eyes and he’s trying to think of the right words to use. All he thinks to do is to pull the keycard out of his pocket and show it to you. You look at the cute design on the card and then you look at the big hotel across the street.
“I can’t imagine that’s for this hotel,” you say as you point at it.
Toshi shakes his head, “N-no…”
You look at the keycard once more and then a blush creeps up on your cheeks. Your stomach does a little flip when you start putting the pieces together. It wouldn’t be the first time Toshinori brings you to a hotel, but you two have never stayed in a love hotel.
“Someone recommended it to me,” he begins to explain. “They said it was a fun experience! This one has a maid cafe in it and there’s a hot tub with jets in the room and I think there’s even a pole for…”
You giggle softly, “what are we waiting for? Sounds like a fun night!”
You grab his hand and pull him along down the street. Toshi’s heart races at the excitement. Wouldn’t you prefer something more classy? Then again, you’ve always been happy with the bare minimum. He loves to spoil you, there’s no doubt about it. But you’ve always been so happy with anything he buys or gives you.
Come to think about it, you seem the happiest when he takes time to spend with you…
He’s pulled from his thoughts when you two stop in front of this neon-lit hotel. It looks so cute, but really you two know what’s waiting for you inside. He opens the door for you and then you both walk in. There’s nobody at the front desk, but there are a few touchscreens that showcase the rooms available.
“I’ve already booked our room for all night,” Toshi whispers in your ear.
His hand envelopes yours as he guides you towards the elevators. There’s a cute song playing as you two ride up to the top floor. You’re feeling giddy with delight as you get closer and closer. Then the elevator stops and you two step out into a dimly lit hallway.
The carpets are meticulously cleaned from the looks of it, despite the nature of the business. There’s fancy look art hung up on the walls. And then you stop in front of a mahogany door, and Toshi slides the keycard through the machine. He opens up the door and you get to take a look inside.
You’re wowed by the sheer size of the place. It’s a lot bigger than you were anticipating. It’s a plush carpet at your feet, in a sort of rose color. Then your eyes trail off to see the large, king-sized bed with the red satin sheets and heart-shaped throw pillows in the middle. Toshi nudges you gently and points at the pole on the raised platform part of the room.
“That’s the uh…”
You giggle, “Oh you want me to put on a show for you then?”
Once again, he’s hiding his face behind his bangs. How you could so easily rile him up and fluster him…
Then he takes your hand and guides you to the big bathroom. It’s dimly lit in here too, with a few ambient lights along the wall. The big hot tub sits in the corner of the room, looking ever so inviting. It’s so large and looks like it could fit way more than just two people.
“Looks like fun,” he comments as he comes behind you. Then his big hands begin to massage your shoulders. You begin to lean back against him.
“Mhm, I was just thinking that. I bet you could use a nice bath after the hard work week you’ve had.”
It was true, he had worked very hard this week. He missed you a lot more than usual, considering he hadn’t had the chance to visit you throughout the week. Toshinori had every intention of worshiping you and spending as much time as he could to pleasure you.
He leans in to press little kisses to your neck, relishing in the sweet floral scent of your perfume. You always smelled so delectable. Everything about you made his knees weak and his mouth water. Then you turn around and you pull him in for a very long kiss.
“I should be spoiling you,” you say with a soft bat of your long eyelashes. “You deserve it for being so good to me.”
He gasps when you get on your knees in front of him. Your hands are on his belt before he can protest. You’re so damn sweet to him, it makes him twitch in his pants. His eyes are full of lust as he watches you undress him from the waist down.
“I wanted to spoil you, baby girl.” He grunts as you pull his pants down. “It’s not fair…”
You giggle as you begin palming him through his boxers, “Don’t worry, daddy. You’ll get your chance later.”
He closes his eyes as you pull down his boxers. His cock bobs as it’s pulled from the cotton confines of his underwear. You notice how he’s already leaking lots of precum.
“Poor daddy, so pent up.” You say in such a saccharine tone. It makes his heart melt and his cock twitch.
Before he can say anything, you’re wrapping your plump lips around the tip of his cock. Toshi gasps at the wet heat enveloping him, and his hand comes down to tangle his fingers in your hair. He doesn’t push you, instead he’s more than content to have you set the pace. Slowly, you sink down further until you begin to choke.
“Easy, baby girl. Take your time,” he caresses your cheek, which makes your heart race.
You shouldn’t be having these feelings for him. You’ve been grateful not to see him all week because of one reason. You realized you were growing too comfortable with him. He plagues your thoughts whenever he’s not around. You’ve even begun to dream about him, which has never happened with any of your other sugar daddies.
Toshinori was becoming the real thing before you could put a stop to it.
The more you take him into your mouth, the more you grow aroused. When you look up at him and see just how turned on he is, you know you’re almost done for. You couldn’t keep holding all these feelings back. You eagerly take him all the way into your mouth, relaxing your throat and breathing out your nose.
“F-fuck sweetheart,” Toshinori groans. “H-how am I supposed to last like this?”
You pull off of him with a pop, stroking him gently before you get back to your feet. What really turns you on is when Toshinori kisses you deeply despite the fact that you just had his cock in your mouth. His tongue dances with yours as he begins to undress you.
Slowly, the two of you make it to the hot tub. He turns on the water before turning his attention back to you. He begins to kiss you once more, but then as he takes off more of your clothing, the lower his kisses go.
Toshinori moans softly against your skin when your fingernails rake against his scalp. He bends down to take off your bottom and your shoes. Then he slowly peels off your underwear. The look he gives you when he’s got you fully nude is nothing short of incredibly lewd.
“You are my angel,” he mumbles before leaning in to capture one of your nipples in his mouth. “Such a pretty angel for daddy.”
Your pussy clenches around nothing when he says these filthy words. Not that Toshinori never says anything dirty, but it always sounds so damn good when it comes from his lips. Then he reaches behind you to turn on the jets. The tub is nearly full and you’re really excited to see what you’ll get up to.
“Ready for a soak, honey?” He asks, kissing your lips once more.
You nod your head, “Yeah.”
He turns off the water, then helps you into the warm and relaxing water. The jets feel so good on your muscles. Toshinori lets out a happy and relaxed sigh when he feels the jets on his worn out body. He’s beginning to think about getting one of these installed in his home.
Then his mind begins to wander to thoughts of you being there with him. Bath nights with you would be so heavenly. He would have a hard time not asking you to accompany him in the bath every night if you lived with him…
“Lost in thought, handsome?” you ask as you come closer to begin rubbing his chest.
He’s pulled from his thoughts by the sound of your voice and your sweet touch. “Oh, yeah sorry about that.”
He then leans in close, cupping your cheeks. His forehead leans against yours in a way that makes your whole body heat up. You let your eyes close as his thumbs stroke your cheeks so sweetly.
“I should be here in the moment with you,” he whispers before he captures your lips in a passionate kiss.
You wrap your arms around him, kissing him back with equal passion. It takes little time for him to pull you onto his lap. You squeal softly, making him chuckle at your cute reaction. Then he’s back to kissing you, pushing his tongue into your mouth and tangling with yours.
His cock begins to press up against your ass, and you reach down between you both and you guide him to your hole. He looks at you curiously, wondering if you’re really going for it without the proper prep.
“No,” he whispers. “Allow me.”
Then he turns you around in his lap, pushing your back to his chest. In this position, one of the jets is beginning to hit your clit. You gasp at the sudden stimulation. Toshinori smirks before he spreads you open to get that perfect stream against your clit.
“Pretty girl,” he mumbles against your skin before nipping at your neck. “You almost foiled my plans. Don’t be a bad girl for daddy.”
You can barely respond. With the rushing stream of water against your clit, you feel like you’re going to cum so fast. Lucky for you, that’s exactly what Toshinori has in mind for you. You tremble and shake with every second it hits you right where you need it to.
“D-daddy, I’m…”
Before you have a chance to finish your sentence, Toshinori prods your little hole with his cock. You close your eyes and cry out as the growing pleasure becomes almost too much. He slowly helps you sink down on his cock and the moment the tip hits your sweet spot, you begin to cum.
His grip on you tightens and he’s having to control his breathing not to spill inside of you immediately. The way your little walls contract around him and the soft cries of your voice are enough to send him right to heaven. Toshinori bites down on your shoulder to keep himself calm.
“S’okay,” you moan. “S’okay if you cum quickly.”
He doesn’t want this to end so soon, but he’s happy that you’re not mad for the sudden need to blow his load. It’s been a long week and you just feel so good. He begins pumping up into your tight, wet heat. You take him so good, fitting so snugly around his big dick. Toshinori shudders when he feels his balls drawing up.
“C-can’t hold back,”
With a loud grunt, he’s painting your insides white. His hands are tight on your body to keep you pushed down on his cock, prolonging the pleasure for him. Then he slowly begins to pull you off, setting you down next to him in the warm water. Toshinori closes his eyes as he catches his breath.
Then comes your soft and sweet touch again. You brush some hair out of his face, then you kiss his cheek. You’re in your own daze, wondering how you could ever have a better orgasm than that. And the way he so easily guided you through it and wanted it for you, it made you wonder just how long you can keep pushing these feelings down.
“Wanna check out the bed?” You ask softly, nipping at his neck.
He wraps his arm around you, “Of course. Anything for you.”
With ease, he picks you up from the bath and helps you onto the mat. Lovingly, he dries you off with one of the fluffy towels. You are beginning to wonder what his true intentions were for this little hotel trip. Then he helps you into the silky robe the hotel provided for you.
What surprises him is when you do the same for him. You even begin to apply some lotion onto his skin. Toshi blushes and tries to look away, but you won’t let him. If you were going to fall head over heels for him, then he was going to do exactly that for you. You weren’t going down alone.
He leads you back into the bedroom and gently guides you onto the bed. You let out a giggle when he gets on the bed too and crawls over to you. His lips are so soft on your body as he begins to kiss your neck, then down your chest.
“You’re obsessed with my chest,” you tease him.
He smirks up at you, “Like you’re not obsessed with mine.”
This causes you to blush. It was true, whether he was in his buff form or like this, you often took your time to press kisses and kitten licks on his chest. You even spent time kissing his scar. That had taken him a long time to show it to you, and even longer to tell you the story attached to it. Your heart clenches when you think about how much trust that must have taken for him.
“You got me there,” you whisper sweetly. “I can’t help that I really love looking at you.”
There you go, saying that damn word. Even if you didn’t say ‘I love you’, just hearing you say the word love has Toshinori’s insides in knots. He doesn’t want to hear you say that damn word, but in reality, he’d die happy if you said you loved him. He can’t hold it back now.
When he looks at you again, your eyes lock. You can see a whirlwind of emotions in those troubled eyes. Then he pulls you on top of him as he lays on his back. His hands are calloused but they feel so good on your smooth skin.
“Ride me,” he says sheepishly.
A shudder runs through you as you eagerly get into position. You begin to stroke his hardening cock. Toshinori moans and gasps as you work him so well. Then you guide him to your still dripping hole. With his cum already lubing you up, it’s not so much of a stretch this time.
His arms come up to begin holding you so close. He pulls you into his chest as you rock your hips. Something about this is much more intimate than anything you’ve ever done. You can’t help but feel a flurry of butterflies in your tummy.
“Don’t want to let you go,” he chokes out. “My heart can’t take it.”
You gasp when you hear his soft words. It’s all too much. You’re crumbling as well as you continue to rock your hips. His touch is so soft on your body and the way he pulls you in for another kiss has you clenching around him.
“I promise myself I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t fall for you,” you admit. You want to look away, but he won’t let you.
“I promise myself the same thing,” he says.
There’s a look of pure pleasure on his face as you pick up your pace. He grips onto your hips, guiding you to ride him at the pace you want. He’s loving every single minute of this. Then his hands slide up your body to your breasts where he kneads them.
“You make me feel so good, you make me want to live.”
You swallow hard when he says this. “You bring happiness to my life,”
He’s having a hard time holding back once more. It’s just becoming too much. He lets one of his hands down to rub your clit, pushing you over the edge with a few more thrusts. As your walls clamp down around him, he’s grunting your name.
“I–I LOVE YOU!” He cries out as he cums hard.
Your heart skips a beat as you try to come to terms with what he’s just said. You think back on all the time you’ve spent together and it should have been even more obvious. Now, you know it’s the truth and you know you need to tell him how you feel.
As he gets his breathing under control, he’s regretting saying that right as he reached his peak. His cheeks are burning and he’s trying to get you off of him.
But then you kiss him so lovingly. Both of your hands come up to cup his cheeks. You stay on him, holding him so close to you. You know you have to confess on your part too.
“I love you too,” you whisper against his lips.
Toshinori flips you both over, with him on top of you. It’s a rush of kisses and soft words from his lips. You can’t stop smiling as you begin to run your fingers through his hair. He rubs his nose against yours before kissing you once more.
“Guess we’ll have to use the pole next time, huh?” he jokes softly as he lays down next to you.
You roll over to rest your head on his chest, “It’s too bad. I was going to put on such a good show for you.”
He squeezes you tight, kissing you so sweetly. Toshinori lulls you to sleep with soft words of love. He knows he’s never letting you go now that you’re his for real. And you have no intention of letting him go either.
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reblogs and comments always appreciated!
©actuallysaiyan 2024– do not repost on other platforms, copy, translate or edit my works!
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beepfuckingbeeprichie · 21 hours ago
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Jinx and Caitlyn are officially my favorite parallels this season and I love what the show is doing.
Jinx and Cait simultaneously lost a parent and were then immediately thrusted into a some measure of responsibility— Caitlyn as sheriff, Jinx as a parental figure and almost a partner to Sevika. And despite their upbringings and past history, they pivot to unexpected directions.
Jinx grieves Silco in the River and let’s him go. We’ve only seen Jinx hallucinate once in these three episodes, and it was Silco asking her if she was ready to go. As she exits the river, it intercuts with scenes from last season of her baptism with Silco in the same river. Jinx has finally decided who she is, and without Silco to make her worse (love him, but he did), she almost immediately begins on a path of healing. She rebuilds past relationships by connecting with Sevika, they mutually commiserate Silco’s memory, and then she makes a gift for Sevika as a bid for connection. She even begrudgingly builds a new relationship with Isha, who has basically imprinted on her like a duck.
Cait’s first appearance is being one of the only clear things in the stylized backdrop of her mothers funeral. The scratchy style of some parts are even reminiscent of Jinx’s visual hallucinations. People reach out to Caitlyn, and while she doesn’t necessarily push them away at first, she isn’t communicating effectively. Her and her dad have a brief conversation and she springs the enforcer badge on Vi with no context. By episode three, she’s almost entirely isolated herself from her former support system, told her girlfriend that she’s not “one of the good ones”, and uses the responsibility she’s been given as a weapon.
Caitlyn learns about the air ducts through her mother’s key, which are specifically for directing clean air into Zaun, and immediately weaponizes it. Not sure how long Jinx has known ab them, but she’s actually the one who uses the ducts to direct clean air into Zaun. And she’s the terrorist!!
Caitlyn’s weapons get upgraded to be more brutal, efficient killing machines. We’ve seen Jinx use her gun, obviously, but one of her bombs is simply filled with glitter. Sevika’s arm is decked out to play music, shoot fireworks, even has a punch option, which isn’t very effective if you’re going for the kill. They’re still weapons, but they’re fun, and arguably less dangerous than the hex core and more authentic to Jinx’s personality. Even the paint in clearing out the air ducts is just that- paint. She could have weaponized it, and chose not to.
Even the small things characterize them! Jinx channels her grief into a creative outlet, while Caitlyn searches for catharsis through violence! A good example is when she seeks catharsis by shooting the cardboard figure of jinx at the pop up gun range.
They’re both trying to find final closure through killing someone, they’re being thrust into roles of leadership, they’ve lost a parent, they now both have a complicated relationship with Vi. I’m really excited to see how things develop, as Jinx about to become the symbol of Zaun and Caitlyn has just become a puppet dictator.
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littlerosetrove · 11 hours ago
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I made a post talking about this exact thing.
Tommy has been the only LI with real potential to be something good and lasting for Buck. Tommy is a first responder like Buck, so not only do they get each other on that fundamental level, but logistically for the writers it makes it far easier to incorporate Tommy into stories. Tommy already had a connection to the 118, Bucks life and family. Hell, for the first time we had Bobby outright approve of Tommy to Buck, saying he's good people. And hello? Tommy and Eddie are friends (though who knows how that will be handled now).
What I don't get is why go to all this trouble, bringing back and working on integrating Tommy, specifically, into Bucks life like they've never done with previous partners, if only to toss it aside out of the blue, and done for a poor reason?
Not every audience member is going to read interviews (ie do homework) to try and figure out what the hell is going on in the show. In the show we got an abrupt ending to a relationship that STILL gave signs that there is an open door. An open door for Tommy to possibly come back. Meaning, Tommy was scared and ran, but Buck could actually fight for this relationship and say no, he absolutely wants a lasting future with Tommy.
But the interviews, the homework, is showing us "nope, this is the end, and Buck just might sleep around now. stay tuned to find out!"
To add onto this and bring Eddie into the mix, well - Eddie has stated in canon that he's straight. I may be a multi-shipper, but I gotta say this gives veeery little hope of Buddie ever becoming canon. And you know what? Considering how Buck and Tommy were just handled/treated, I can't say I have much faith in how even a potential Buddie thing would even be handled.
While yes, we need to wait and see how things play out, but at the moment? What I'm seeing is one of Buck's greatest potential for a lasting and good relationship has been tossed aside, and... what? He's just going to go on dating someone new? Probably a whole new character we've never met, and we're supposed to care about this person when we've seen this exact movie multiple times now, in 8 seasons, and we're supposed to care and feel invested?
Like I'm really not trying to be a big downer, but gd these writers are giving me very little confidence in them. The just burned us badly, and again, it's season 8 and they still can't manage for whatever reason to allow Buck to finally settle down with someone, something he's wanted for 8 seasons, and just be happy. I just want Buck to be happy and settled, but right now these writers are refusing to let him, and that does confuse me and piss me off.
Tommy is seemingly gone for good, Eddie does not look likely to be a possible romantic partner for Buck, so. Why should I care about any future LI for Buck? Again, yes I want Buck to be happy, but holy shit.
i think my overall feeling after this episode was that i genuinely can’t care about any relationship buck gets into after this. like seriously, what is the point? this hamster wheel they said they were getting him off is still spinning and he’s not leaving it, he’s never gonna have any real relationships if they keep repeating the cycle of him finding someone, there being an issue and the relationship ending.
like. do i care about buck and his character development? obviously. but any girlfriend or boyfriend or love interest he gets, i’m not gonna even think about caring or getting invested. because seriously, what is the point. they had something amazing in tommy and it could have lead to some great storylines for buck and tommy and even the overall show, but it’ll never come to fruition now. because buck is apparently ‘still figuring himself out’ but he can date men as well as women. will that ever lead to a long lasting relationship? it’s doubtful. at least that’s what it seems like the writers want.
and don’t even getting me started on eddie.
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aspecpplarebeautiful · 2 days ago
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I created this. I made a post on my most used blog @smolbeanie1221 and that was the last part of it. And I think that really kinda sums up how I felt when I figured out I’m aroace. Accepting that it was okay for me to be attracted to anyone, that took a while. And it was freeing to accept that about myself. And then realizing that just because I could be attracted to anyone and I was still a good person, I don’t actually have to be attracted to anyone. And I’m still a good person. And there’s a freedom in realizing both those things, of letting go of the heteronormative pressure of society, then letting go of the allonormative pressure of society. Realizing both those things about myself, I felt incredibly free. I can be attracted to anyone, but I don’t have to be attracted to anyone.
And now I’m in a relationship with someone I love and adore so much. Do I think she’s absolutely beautiful and attractive and wonderful and perfect and amazing and on and on? Absolutely. Am I attracted to her in any traditional ways, any allo ways, any easy-to-describe ways? Nope. But I’m very much in love with her. And realizing my freedom, not only in who I can love but how I can love? That’s something very important to me.
I’m posting a similar post on my blog @smolbeanie1221 but I wanted to share somewhere I know more people will hopefully see this. Because I think this freedom is absolutely beautiful and incredible to realize.
~wolfyboi
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therealmylesmorales · 3 days ago
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Warm Enough|| Lara Croft
Warnings: Jealous/Insecure Lara once again (she’s a little pathetic actually). Pre-relationship
Notes: Stole this pic from pookie, @laracroftsfiance 🫶🏾 I hope that’s fine. I’m not really proud of this but whatevs
WC: almost 800
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Masterlist
Lara should’ve gone home.
She had been away for almost a month, exploring the jungles in South America but it ultimately led to a dead end. She was tired, irritated, and her body was sore. The gettogether that one of Jonah’s other friends hosted didn’t need her there.
Lara did refuse at first. No matter how many times Jonah begged and pleaded, Lara was set on just laying in bed. However, Jonah used the one person that she had a hard time saying no to.
You.
The women that Lara was infatuated over. Jonah knew this and used it to his advantage whenever he could. While he did tease Lara often about her crush, he also tried to get her to talk to you for more than five minutes. Lara claimed that she didn’t need his help but she was only scared that her feelings were one sided. Though from what Jonah had told her, it was far from that.
It had been thirty minutes and as soon as they entered the house, Jonah abandoned her for his other friends. And Lara had yet to see you. She was nursing her drink against the wall, mindlessly people watching until her eyes scanned a familiar figure. She sighed quietly as a smile appeared on her face.
You looked so pretty. Like most people here, you were dressed casually but you still stood out to Lara. Even though you were across the room, she swore that she could hear your laugh. It always made her stomach feel weird after hearing it; a good weird.
Lara was seconds away from walking up to you but a sight stopped her. Your arm was wrapped around another woman’s, holding her close to you.
Oh. Lara bit her tongue, her brows furrowing at the sight. She wasn’t aware you were seeing someone, much less close enough to introduce her to your friends. How come she didn’t know about her? Even beside her probably obvious feelings about you, she figured you two were still friends.
Lara scoffed to herself, moving to the exit. She would call Jonah later.
Of course you were already with someone. Someone as beautiful and sweet as you, wouldn’t waste your time with Lara; she was damaged, seen and been through experiences that most people couldn’t understand. Being with someone whose trauma affected their everyday life…Lara wouldn’t want that for you.
It was probably better that way.
“Hey, Lara!” Your voice sounded behind her. She forced herself to stop, turning to see your pretty face. Your smile, one that was really reserved for Lara, was on your face. She couldn’t help but send you a small wave. “I didn’t know you were here— I would’ve come looking for you.”
”I wasn’t staying long,” she admitted. “Jonah kept asking me to come.”
“Well, do you want to join me for a drink before you go?” You asked, a little hopeful.
Her eyes flickered to the woman who was now by the open bar. ”I should really get home. And I don’t want to intrude on you and…your girlfriend.”
Girlfriend. That word left a bitter taste in her mouth, and her annoyance only grew.
You had the audacity to look confused at her words. “Girlfriend?”
Lara huffed, not wanting to continue the conversation further. But, she nodded to the woman you were previously with. “She’s…pretty.”
You were silent at first before a look entered your eye. A laugh escaped you. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m sure her boyfriend would agree.”
Lara swore her heart dropped. “Boyfriend?”
”Mhm. I was only keeping her company until he arrived,” you admitted.
“Oh,” Lara groaned and rubbed her hands over her face; she was also trying to hide her embarrassment. “Oh, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…that was stupid.”
You only shook your head. “It’s no big deal, Lara. Though if it makes you feel any better, I’m currently single.”
Is she giving me an opening? Lara thought. You stared at her with hopeful eyes, nervously twisting your fingers together.
I’ve faced life and death multiple times. Asking her out shouldn’t be difficult. And with a deep breath, Lara finally took that step.
”Well, there’s…there’s a new exhibition that I’ve been wanting to go to,” Lara admitted quietly. “And I would really love it if you came with me. If you don’t want to, however, we can find something else or—“
”I would love to go with you, Lara,” you smiled. Lara could feel her cheeks warm at your egar acceptance. “I’ll see you this Friday?”
Lara whispered out, “Okay.” You reached up to press your lips against her cheek before you turned off to rejoin your friends, leaving a smiley red-faced Lara behind.
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inawickedlittletown · 2 days ago
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Sooo I started to read other articles. I didn't after reading the ones that came out right after the episode that justifiably got everyone upset.
This one from tv insider had Tim saying this:
Moving on to Buck and Tommy’s breakup, talk about your approach to it. Why was Tommy sure that Buck would break his heart?
Tommy’s older and Buck is very new to this, and whether Tommy was correct or not, I think what he felt like was exactly what he said: I’m not your last, I’m your first, which is a special thing to be, but as Tommy says, it doesn’t usually end up being the same thing. And I think based on what we know of Buck, he’s maybe not wrong. Buck’s a little impulsive when he’s feeling a certain kind of way. He’s like, move on in, bring your couch. So I just think because Tommy’s a little older and wiser or maybe at some level he feels like he doesn’t deserve Buck, I don’t know. But I think he accurately diagnosed Buck. Buck’s still figuring himself out, and boy, that would be quite risky to move in with that guy as much as you would love to.
That does seem to be Buck’s go-to, which isn’t the best.
Exactly.
Are we going to see Buck single for a significant period of time now? Is he trying to figure out what he wants really out of a relationship?
Yeah, I think that’s right. As Tommy said, you’re still figuring yourself out, and his options have increased by 50 percent of the population. So knowing Buck, that’s going to be choice overload. He’s got to navigate that with a little self-awareness.
--
So they definitely planned for this. That's what this reads like...they wanted to break them up so that they could send Buck through a period of exploration. Tim says everything Oliver said here in much nicer terms. His view of Buck is so...Idk, it's like he sees Buck as a kid that still doesn't know what he wants. And he decided to put that view right into Tommy's head too. It's a little jarring I guess but this show...has it ever been consistent?
What sucks is that 8x05 was written like they were doing so well. And then right off the back with 8x06 we have warning signs in the date scene with the girl that approaches Buck and how Tommy sort of shrugs off Buck checking her out. I really do wonder where hot waiter fit into this and I'm so glad we didn't see Tommy like checking hot waiter out or something. But I guess that scene was there to sow the seeds. We have Buck spiraling because of the Abby thing and we have Tommy maybe not realizing but reinforcing for himself that he's a stepping stone for Buck and being okay with it in the status quo.
The way that Tim speaks about Buck asking Tommy to move in, he makes it seem like Buck is just barreling in without thought...like if they went through with it Tommy might be proven right. But then what is the point of the scene with Josh where Buck is right on the cusp of an "I love you" just to then be like no actually Tommy knows how this ends and he can read Buck and knows they're not forever. But Tommy is not a mind reader.
Where there is hope is in that Tim doesn't outwardly say anything about Tommy being gone for good. As someone else pointed out the Lou interviews were done by buddie journalists with a bias so there is a question to how much that colored what we got and why they were so determined to close the door fully. Also...why did we get exit interviews in the first place for a character that only had three episodes...it's so odd.
The writers made a point of leaving this open. Do I think we'll get Tommy back any time soon. No. But after the doom and gloom and the time to mourn this a bit I want to be positive and there is really no knowing. Tim says he thinks Buck will be single for a while...okay fine...picture that being the rest of this season.
Buck won't just jump into another relationship...and Oliver gets his Buck slut era 2.0...what if S9 brings back Tommy? What if this is the long game...or at least the thing they can have in their back pocket if Lou is available later on to come back. But that's not something they can promise or that they can commit to and Lou isn't on contract clearly and Oliver wouldn't know if that's the plan...hell even Tim probably doesn't know if they'll do that. Or I'm giving him too much credit because as we've seen this season storylines have been rushed to close up at breakneck speeds so it would be an anomaly for him to prolong something like this.
All this to say, showing the network and Tim that bucktommy matters to a lot of people and that Tommy matters...it may just make a difference.
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bougiebutchbitch · 2 days ago
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I saw so many of your OFMD rbs today that it reignited my OFMD/izzy/steddyhands hyper fixation lol. Not that I’m upset abt it!! What r ur fav headcanons abt them?
jgfhfjf I was on a roll this morning! I like the idea that Izzy survived, but it was covered up by the crew (and Izzy!) to get Izzy away from Ed and Stede. Frenchie, Jim, Fang and Archie were still very wary of Ed, for obvious reasons. Plus, everyone was worried about their unicorn and thought he deserved better than to be the eternal third wheel!
So Stede and Ed legitimately grieve him, and bury a 'body' (actually a mop with two coconuts attached to it, though they're unaware of this skjldsdg - IF YOU KNOW THE FANART, YOU KNOW) all while Izzy is healing and happy with his family on the Revenge, under Frenchie's captainhood! Stede and Ed are repairing their relationship, coming to terms with everything that happened to them and everything they did, good and bad alike. Ditto for Izzy and his crew! It's a perfect happy ending for everyone!
But.
But.
Stede and Ed never quite feel 'whole', by themselves on a little desert island, trying to start a business, every day bogged down with routine and basic hard work that neither of them are used to.
And Izzy loves his crew so much, but he doesn't quite feel 'whole' either. He wants so desperately to see how Stede and Ed are doing. He misses them a lot, and though he holds everything together for Frenchie and the others' sake, Frenchie has caught him a dozen times sat in the crows' nest at night, looking out in the direction of Ed and Stede's island and sighing...
They pass by the island one time, and Izzy is obviously SO fucking forlorn, though he's doing his utmost to pretend otherwise. Frenchie, Jim, Archie and Fang can't bear it. They thought they were doing the right thing by giving Izzy a life away from his captains. And they were! It was what Izzy needed! He's grown in himself, and seems far more grounded and happy!
But he wants to go back to them anyway.
And Frenchie knows it would be wrong to stop him. Plus, who's to say Ed and Stede haven't done some GrowthTM of their own?
So, he wakes Izzy from his cabin and gives him a big hug, before leading him out onto the deck. The whole crew have gathered. Cue hugs all around, and they each give him a little present - a clumsy wooden sculpture from Lucius, a far better one from Pete (he's teaching his husband how to whittle!), a garlic knot necklace from Oluwande and Archie and Jim for luck, etc. etc. etc.
Izzy is gruffly trying not to cry (because he loves them so much and he'll miss them so much, but he has felt like a fucking burden lately (even though he absolutely isn't; after Zheng set off to rebuild her armada, he was in charge of teaching the crew how to Pirate Right, and he did a damn good job!) And he's in a lot of pain trying to keep up with life on the ship with all his old injuries. He knows he's not the best swordsman in the Caribbean anymore, and deep down, he feels, it's time ot pack it in.) He gives each of them a tight hug and a rough-voiced compliment (small and genuine and kinda backhanded in typical Izzy fashion; telling Lucius he's not fucking useless; telling Oluwande he's far too nice to be a quartermaster but he makes it fucking work and that's good, Izzy figures; telling Frenchie he's far from the worst captain Izzy's sailed under). Then he quietly strips his glove off, and hands it to Jim. They don't hug. They just nod at each other, one guard dog to another.
As Izzy rows to shore, to where Ed and Stede's little inn stands, a candle in the window burning like a lighthouse in the night... He hears the music blossom out from the ship, La Vie En Rose, playing him towards his retirement. And he finds himself smiling, so hard it hurts.
...Then he walks into the inn like 'sup twats. Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.' and Ed and Stede start screaming lskdfhkjsdgf
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