#and actively choosing to be a man
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this is actively just malicious.
painting this strawman like we are claiming actual radfem ideology are you fucking kidding me
no one has ever said that. we point out that gay cis men face these same issues, that MOC do, that disabled men do. this is in EVERY. SINGLE. post refuting him.
he is now officially actively intentionally mischaracterizing the transmasc community
#if anyone has EVER said that#absolutely everyone at the forefront of this conversation would immediately call out their internalized radical feminism#absolutely NONE of this has to do with biological assignment making us inherently oppressed#that is absolutely SLANDER#it is about being someone who society wants to be a woman#and actively choosing to be a man#and rejecting the responsibilities of womanhood#at best that is the most bad faith reading possible#cw transphobia#cw transandrophobia#and to link it with cis gay men#ITS THE FAILURE TO PERFORM MANHOOD CORRECTLY#both at once#bc transphobia doesnt HAVE to make sense guys#they are not trying to be internally consistent#disclaimer: i used internalized wrong in these tags but i will not be rewriting all of them :) have a nice day
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Asterius in Hades: affable sympathetic character, pretty nice guy, adaptational sympathy, making his backstory of being imprisoned and then killed more tragic than a glorious tale about a hero vanquishing a monster Polyphemus in Hades II: Nah everything bad you heard about this guy is onehundred percent accurate
#hades 2#hades supergiant#hades asterius#hades 2 polyphemus#i find it really interesting how the hades games handle their respective man-eating monster characters#asterius is this honorable warrior whom you could argue had no other choice but to resort to semi-cannibalism#and who found peace and a better life in death#and then there's polyphemus#who /does/ have a choice he's literally surrounded by sheep#but he actively chooses to eat humans#actively chooses to be a monster#and if you want to read into this you could probably speculate about some reasons why they turned out so different#for one polyphemus' father actually cared about him#and he was never a prisoner
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I'm hoping episode 3 let's Ruby see the dark side of the Doctor. I feel that adds a very important dynamic to a Doctor-companion relationship, when they see how dark he can be and still choose to travel with him early on.
Rose watching Nine drag Cassandra back to die. Eleven yelling at Amy "Nobody human has anything to say to me today!" Donna begging Ten to stop drowning the spider babies, and then again to go back and save someone in Pompeii.
Fifteen has been FUN and I know he can do emotional range, I've seen his fear and his tears already. But I want to see him dark, and I want to see Ruby respond to that. I think it would add a LOT of depth to their relationship and is something missing.
Plus showcasing the Doctor's flaws (selfishness) will make him a much more interesting character. I want to see some conflict between the Doctor and Ruby.
#wren rambles#doctor who#fifteenth doctor#ruby sunday#something about not letting heroes have flaws#and thus being one dimentional and less interesting#its a flaw i saw them slipping into a bit with thirteen#where she was always the Moral Voice#i LIKE it when the Doctor is instinctually cruel and has to be talked out of it and actively choose to be kind#it makes the character SO much more interesting#and raises the emotional stakes so much#so far fifteen has been FUN#but he hasnt been a rounded character#and until we see his flaws hes never gonna be in the runnings for a favourite#i think the doctor is an inherantly selfish character#and he has to make an active effort to NOT be#“Im his carer” “yes she cares so I dont have to”#im worried a six month time jump removed the opportunity for this kinda thing though#i Need to be able to look at the doctor and know. this is the man who killed a planet#and i havent been seeing that in the character recently#still early days yet though!#the doctor shouldnt be the moral center of the show--his companion should be#i think thats why i love 12 so much tbh#because his whole THING is to choose to be kind#without hope without witness without reward#being “good” (and whatever that means is a discussion for another day) doesnt come easily to him#love isnt an emotion its a promise#i want to see fifteen STRUGGLING to choose to do good#and i want to see ruby witness that
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s2 episode 7 thoughts
hmm. hmm. that is the sound if me pondering what i just watched.
(i understand that this episode was an analysis into mulder's self-destructive behaviors when faced with overwhelming grief, but. that does not mean i enjoyed vampire hookup time)
well. we shall start from the top!
i read that it was an episode about vampires which i thought was a weird narrative choice because. hello. scully still gone??? but then i remembered that i too ignored the main quest in skyrim to hunt some vampires and that i had no place to judge
(granted, my main quest wasn't finding scully though. might have given that a bit more priority than saving the whole world. because she IS my whole world)
we open with a guy that looks like joe biden meeting with an attractive young woman. they're making out in a hot tub and we just know someone is gonna get slurped upon. and woe, it be upon us! double vampire attack.
back in DC, mulder gets his old office back! it's covered in plastic. he takes some of it off. he adjusts his calendar from may to november, so we see how much time he and scully had been assigned to other tasks, which also has me wondering how she managed to get a new house that quick.
(also, this calendar is... scantily clad women posing next to tools such as hammers and saws. was this allowed? was this acceptable? was it normal? were the 90's a lawless wasteland and mulder an irreparable freak?)
well. scully is an x file now, and he puts her glasses and id into an evidence bag and closes the filing cabinet which was sooooo evil. but he can't bring himself to put her necklace away. oh man. oh he's gotta have it in case he finds her. he has to hold her close. i'm Fine this is Fine.
so. he goes out to california to deal with the joe biden looking fellow being murdered. and he is not wanted on the crime scene. we know this because someone greets him by saying "nobody called the bureau" and he says "well, they should have" and lifts up the tape to let himself in. because one thing about him is that he's gonna let himself into a place he isn't wanted.
he sees the writing of a bible verse in blood on the wall and says something about their grasp of biblical knowledge being "feeble and literal" and i was like okayyy need to have a theological discussion with him
he then scares the other guy who originally wanted to kick him out by reciting a LARGE amount of facts related to similar cases and it's very much giving photographic memory. got me thinking, have we ever seen this man forget something? (directions don't count. they're confusing. but everything else sticks in that man's brain)
he just needs one thing: a phone book. which he uses to call a blood bank and ask about a new guy. who must be the vampire who did this!
so he rolls up to the blood bank and i'm over here struggling because i do Not Do Blood, and i knew at this point this was gonna be a tough watch, but i didn't anticipate the non-blood related reasons why this would be true
anyway he's sniffing around the blood bank and he hears some slurping and wouldn't you know, this dude is tearing into a bag of the red stuff like it's a capri sun. somehow he gets him into custody, where the dude refuses to talk because the lights are on, and mulder comes in with a lamp he put a red filter over, because he was prepared for vampire interrogation.
the vampire is going on about how what he did isn't murder because it's not like animals hunting prey is murder which is. not the greatest approach in terms of legal defense. mulder tells the guard that the guy is delusional and it's best to play along, and he believed this to be true... until he, quite literally, burned to a crisp in the sunlight. and died.
he's talking to the coroner and rattling off a bunch of vampire facts and says he didn't believe in vampires which is so funny to me because like. why is that where you draw the line, my friend. not at bigfoot and definitely not at aliens. but man. vampires are just too out there for spooky mulder. until now!
the coroner has a very funny line: "you are really upsetting me... on several levels" which seems to be the general effect fox mulder has on people. and also because i felt the same way about his dumbass actions during this episode.
coroner finds a stamp on the dead body's hand, which seems to come from a nightclub. so naturally our fbi agent ends up there.
you often see posts saying that "(insert character here) should be at the club". i fear that this is not the case for fox mulder, but it's possible that it's his suit and tie that are throwing me off. he just doesn't seem like he belongs there. i ask myself, where should he be instead? perhaps some sort of star wars convention would suit him better. a book signing with some author he likes. idk, an interior decorating festival. not here.
i shall use my verbatim words to walk you through the next scene:
"pause. he's talking to a woman who was looking into a compact without a mirror. so. vampire suspect. and now why are they getting so close together. and getting a drink. okay now they're leaving to a new spot together? AFTER she admits to vampirism"
(here she did some stuff that required me to look away from my screen due to my Weak Constitution. but also it would have felt necessary to look away anyway because it was getting... charged)
she tries to get him to... suck on her finger... but he won't do it because aids. which is fair. i think that's a smart move, actually. it's just that getting flirty with a vampire he knows was involved with a ton of killings was such a stupid move, i don't know why it's now the braincells start to kick in.
that kills the vibe, though, so she gets another guy to take his place and things escalate.
mulder pulls in at a restaurant called ra. nice! the sun god! and he is... through a window, witnessing some more slurping action. he seems to want to intervene and save this poor soul being feasted upon...
but the poor soul is no poor soul at all! he comes out and decks mulder, and delivers this line with stunning conviction: "i don't know who you are, freak, but we're two consenting adults" and with this, he is forced to flee.
and yeah. it made me laugh. my expectations for the genre were subverted. he signed up for that shit! what he did not sign up for, however, was the next part, where he was killed by the other vampires.
cut to investigating the crime scene. mulder has brought along a forensic dentist, which is a job i had no idea you could go into. he needs to see about those bites, which are very human.
next they go to vampire woman's house. it's a very nice place. mulder... opens her oven. and sees a loaf of bread in there. and i'm thinking, man, i hope this doesn't go where i think it's going. baked goods... ovens... i never want a vampire pregnancy arc. but he cracks open the loaf and something red spills out and somehow, this to him means that she is gone and isn't coming back. he can read the signs of the bread. so add that to his resume. what did the bread tell you, my liege?
he seems to have stayed in her house, however, because he's there when she's back, and says he knows she was using the bread as a charm to ward off evil. because apparently that's an eastern european thing, blood bread to warn off evil. sound off if any eastern europeans in the chat wanna confirm or deny.
anyway. he's IN this woman he thinks is a vampire's HOUSE? what the hell. mulder seriously i need you to stop and think. like you should have stopped and done some thinking a while ago. honestly i'm not mad i'm just disappointed. and he's like "i want to save you come with me before they kill you" ohhh big tough man needs to save her huh. make him feel good inside. huh. certainly no ulterior motive here...
she's monologing about her horrible childhood and how sweet blood tastes. um girl. don't lie to him like that. i have busted my lip open before that stuff does NOT taste sweet and dangerous. it's like a penny with rust that you found in a parking lot.
it seems her vampiric origin story, if to be believed, is that things simply got too kinky. which is a new take on the genre.
(it's also about being caught in an abusive relationship and the damage that inflicts, but it seems abusive boyfriend came into vampirism at his kinky parties and things escalated from there. which. well. it blew the eyebrows clean off my head, to be fair)
at this point we see that he is WEARING SCULLY'S NECKLACE? he says something like "it's from someone i lost" and she says that she "hopes he finds her"
i did not like the undertones here and certainly not the overtones. because i knew where this was going. he was shaving in her bathroom. and let me tell you something: there is only ever a shaving scene in media because the writer needs a way to get some blood out of someone's body and into the real world. and man. i knew it was coming.
but what i didn't see coming was her SHAVING HIM??? girl. i am uncomfy. and she does, of course, cut him, and then they kiss. aggressively. terribly aggressively. can anyone answer what was going on in a satisfactory manner?
but the gag is: the original vampire- who burnt to a crisp in the jail cell, and was the abusive ex she spoke of- HE'S WATCHING THEM THROUGH THE WINDOW!
he breaks in and taunts the vampire woman about how he had to "wait for her to finish" and i was like cool. thank you SO much for that mental image i'm super happy with it. i definitely don't feel like i need a shower. but then he's going on about how he can't be killed.
here, at the tail end of the episode, we learn the rules of vampirism in this world: a vampire cannot be killed by a non-vampire. and a non-vampire BECOMES a vampire by consuming the blood of a believer and also taking a life. it is only here we realize that this woman is not an actual vampire yet, she just appropriates their culture by drinking blood unnecessarily.
mulder's still sleeping in her bed and she's like "you need to leave" and she stabs the wall to make her evil ex think she's killing him. but when they go to break out, mulder ties him up quite handily and he gets in the car to escape with vampire woman. until ANOTHER vampire woman jumps on the hood of their car. and main vampire woman knocks her out for a bit by running into her with said car, which is super effective.
mulder's leaving the place in shambles, his shirt still unbuttoned, wandering down the side of the hill. back at the house, now that we know the vampire rules, main vampire woman says she can finally kill the evil vampire ex. and he's like how!! you haven't had the blood of a believer or taken a life. so. she licks the blood off her hands (unclear if it's hers or mulders tbh) and says she'll take her own life. and drops a match after pouring gasoline.
so. that brings that to an end. and shabby looking mulder sits on a hill as he learns all four in the house died.
the episode ends with him playing with scully's necklace. which i don't even sort of feel like unpacking right now but maybe another time.
probably not, though, because i just didn't like this episode. and yeah, a lot of it comes down to me not wanting to see mulder hook up with people who aren't scully. can you blame me? is it so wrong to have preferences in this world?
but also, narrative wise- do you honestly see the guy fucking off to cali while scully's still missing to deal with an unrelated problem instead of devoting every hour of his life to finding her, like we saw him do in the last episode? you expect me to think he just puts it off for a lil while? the guy who, just last episode, pulled his gun on the ski lift operator to get to the top where she might be a little faster, and then choked his one and only suspect out of fury? you're thinking this is the guy that's gonna go soak up some west coast rays?
and yeah, he was obviously not himself through the episode- very cold and analytical- but c'mon. we all want to bang a vampire. he's not special. i just personally wouldn't do that if my friend were gone. like how is that gonna help the situation. be so for real. time and place!
and also the whole only learning the rules of being a vampire about 5 minutes before they need it to be plot relevant. that annoyed me too.
overall, mulder, like i said, i'm not mad, just disappointed.
let me know what you thought on this episode- i try to not be a hater, but i also understand that hating in small doses can be good for the soul. if it's a widely beloathed episode i'll feel better in my judgement as i join a long tradition of haters who have come before me.
#i think i shall choose to ignore this episode going forward#sometimes he is so violently a Man it's shocking.#like the sexy tool calendar? i cannot keep defending him. throwing tomatoes as we speak. they're splattering his shirt.#man if i was missing and i learned my friend hooked up with a vampire to distract from the sorrow i'd be pissed as hell#i'd be all#and how did that help the situation. did it lead you to find me. why weren't you LOOKING for me.#is this vampire more important to you? is she gonna take my place? answer your 3 am calls and stand up for you against workplace bullying?#and you WORE my NECKLACE? the one my MOTHER GAVE ME? as a birthday present when i was 15? when you FUCKED HER?#THE HOLY CROSS MY CATHOLIC MOM GAVE ME? you wore it while i was MIA? inside a VAMPIRE?#oh i would never let that GO! if i were scully i would simply never let him live that down. it would be awkward asf between us for a bit#sighs. maybe i'm too petty. maybe i hold a grudge too deeply. all things that have been said about me before!#scully baby if ur reading this i would NEVER engage in any sort of recreational activity until i found u again okay? don't settle for less#juni's x files liveblog#txf#the x files
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“Curly deserved better” “curly deserved so much more” “curly didn’t deserve what happened to him”
No no no no that’s the POINT. Curly is just as bad as Jimmy. He let so many of the giant red flags that tumbled out of Jimmy’s mouth slide. He was told multiple times about the abuse Jimmy was inflicting on Anya. He ignored Anya even when she pushed so far as to hide the gun on the ship bc she genuinely feared what Jimmy would do to her. Curly heard it all- saw it all- and he chose to do nothing. He had every opportunity to intervene before the crash but he didn’t. He chose not to. He blathered on and on about responsibility, about his willingness to do anything for his crew, but when they needed him most he did nothing. He just stood there and watched and let it happen.
And now he can’t do anything. He has lost the ability to make that choice. He physically can’t intervene now. His chance to change things and take responsibility has passed him by. Now, he has to just sit there and watch how the mask formed from all those red flags he so willfully ignored peels away and reveals the monster that was always there beside him. Now, he has to just sit there and watch as one by one, Jimmy manipulates and drives each and every one of the people that he swore up and down he would protect to the very edge, and kills them. Now, he just has to sit there and watch as Jimmy justifies each of his actions by blaming everyone else for the situation he put them in- the situation that Curly allowed him to put them in. He has to sit there and watch as Jimmy does everything in his power to create a palatable, sanitized narrative of what happened all so he can cover up what he was doing.
And Curly chose to stand there passively and allowed all of it until he physically didn’t have a choice anymore.
And in the end, Curly is the only one left to tell the story. The story of how it was all his responsibility, how he was supposed to do anything for his crew. And now, it’s all his fault because he couldn’t do just one thing. He has to live with that fact for the rest of his life. He has to live with the fact that his willful ignorance, his choice not to act, cost four people their lives. He will live with those physical and mental scars forever. But even worse, he has to live knowing that that’s the truth. And that in some cruel, twisted way, Jimmy was right.
The truth doesn’t really get rid of that awful taste in your mouth though, does it?
#hello I have very normal thoughts#idk man I am just very tired of people defending curly as if he is not just as bad as Jimmy#the only person worse than the predator is the one who knows they they’re actively victimizing people#and CHOOSES to turn a blind eye to it#knowingly enabling the abuse to avoid simply dealing with a conflict??#especially when you’re the CAPTAIN???#nah. straight to jail#and yes I know people say pony express would have penalized the whole crew for one person’s actions#we know that bc it happens within the first five minutes of the game#but three things:#first off if curly’d reputation is half as good as is mentioned then I feel like he could have swayed the blowback to just be on Jimmy#second of all even if upper management is an issue there were still tons of measures he could have taken to stop Jimmy#lock him up. or keep him monitored at all time between curly and Swansea. stick him in the cryopod. etc#and third. THE COMPANY WENT UNDER ANYWAY. THERE WAS NOTHING HOLDING HIM BACK EXCEPT HIS OWN FUCKIN NEPOTISM#There is no way you can spin this to make curly look good I’m sorry#he is one of Jimmy’s victims. yes. absolutely. but before he was his victim he was still Jimmy’s accomplice#a very willing accomplice at that#and no amount of sanitizing the story will change that fact#and he has to live with that now#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#panda posting
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rewatching st s4 and just. lucas. love of my life he was trying so hard to do the right thing…. he’s still just the protector guy…… him and steve just…. two bisexual self sacrificing jock peas in a pod……
#d speaks#st#stranger things#stranger things s4#lucas sinclair#steve harrington#they are really. just my two babies!!!!#ep 2 and 3 w lucas knowingly and willingly putting himself into a very dangerous situation and joining unstable aggressive teens#on their literal manhunt. so he can keep an eye on them and divert their attention away from his friends however possible#when they visit band practice and jeff is like ‘lucas???’ the look lucas gives him of ‘DUDE PLEASE IM TRYING TO CONTAIN THIS SITUATION’#all the little white lies he keeps telling. the way andy gets in his face right away from the first morning#the way jason is like fr man this isn’t your fight we will still consider you a friend if you bounce now and lucas seems to genuinely think#that eddie DID kill chrissy or was wrapped up in it. and he still said no i’ll stay and protect eddie because eddie is a part of his circle#and he knows that where eddie goes dustin and mike follow and so he actively chooses to keep himself in a dangerous risky ass situation#just so that he can have intel and work to distract them from his people#also. i know it’s a separate thing but still dying over the little erica and jason at the sinclair door scene#fucking hysterical
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Hold on, why do yall think Stede's choice to kill Ned was a WHIM?????
First of all, this isnt the first time Stede got someone killed. Chuancy was an accident, but he did use the stun move. All of ep 2 s1 was about Stede learning how to deal with it. He still feels bad but as he told the natives. He dosen't feel bad that Chauncey is dead. His crew was under threat. So he stopped Badminton from hurting them. His bad feelings came from somewhere else.
Nighel Badminton got himself killed but it did make Stede run back home and face his problems. When he does go back home he tells the other rich guys.
"I've seen death. Been the cause of it. It changes you."
He already knows what it's like be a killer!
But everytime it wasn't his choice. The Badmintons were accidents. He never got to actually choose to be a killer.
That's why when Ned Low invaded his "safe space ship", captured his crew (family) and tortured not only them but also The Love of his Life, Making it into a fucked up PERFORMANCE! All his life bullies found fun in torturing him. Why would this guy be any different.
Hell yeah he was ready to kill him.
Of course, this time he gets to choose. This is not him using a stun move. He is now the conducter of Ned's death and he'll be damned if it's not done His Way.
He's not gonna stab him. It's not gonna be messy. It's not gonna be fast like a gunshot or a stab through the head.
He is going to make Ned SUFFER. Force him to walk the plank. Throw his precious violin in his face and let him drown. It's clean. It's poetic. It's outsourcing the big job to nature. Just like killing spiders.
But Ned continues to demean him. "You know once you kill me your a real pirate. Your not an amateur anymore." Even after everything Stede has been through. Not matter how much he's grown, the world still thinks he's playing at pirating.
The Badmintons dont count.
EVEN ED THINKS SO!
"Once you've killed in cold blood. You cant come back."
Well Chuancy's death was cold blooded wasn't it? Stede snuck him from behind. The boat fire that he caused isn't enough either. When Ed burns a boat, it's murder. But when Stede does it it's "quirky". Stede ALREADY considered himself a killer but NO ONE ELSE DOES. (not even the fandom apparently.)
Yes, he wanted to prove himself. But I don't think that was the thought process until Ned brought it up.
Stede did not hesitate on Ned's death until the others made him question himself. He was completely set on making sure Ned wasn't a threat to his ship. He was so sure of making him walk the plank. It was PLANNED from the moment he put the plank down and the other boat left. What's one more death? But then everyone was treating him like a innocent child?? Like he's doing something unlike him?
He HAD TO PROVE to everyone in that moment that he could kill Ned because no one RECOGNIZED that he was ALREADY a killer.
Him killing Ned became a point to make once he realized there was even a point to be made.
The only reason that he felt even a little bad about it was because Ed asked him not to. He felt like he let Ed down. That maybe Edward like Stede Bonnet, Landed Gentry Pretending to Be A Pirate more than Stede Bonnet, Real Pirate. Because he realized how much he's changed. No more Gentleman, now he's just a Pirate.
That's why he Sped Things Up with Ed. He wanted Ed to prove that he could handle not so innocent Stede FUCKING Bonnet. That he wouldn't leave Stede after seeing this new side of him. He gets consent and then goes on to have the man of his dreams after saving him. How romantic male lead of him.
Of course the NEXT FUCKING DAY HE GETS TOLD IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!! THAT HE'S NOT READY FOR "WHATEVER THIS IS".
How on earth was Stede not supposed to take this as "I dont like the you that isn't soft, isn't insecure, isnt in need of protection." That Ed is leaving to become a fisherman because he cant stand Stede being the messy one for once in his life.
Maybe it was trauma. Maybe it was a show of toxic masculinity. But dont pretend like Stede did it on a WHIM.
#ofmd#blackbeard#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#edward teach#ofmd s2#our flag means death#stede bonnet#stede fucking bonnet#ned low#chauncey badminton#nigel badminton#the takes I've been seeing are.... SO BAD#pls tell me you don't think stede wasn't actively choosing to kill a man that attacked him first#i need to read/write fanfics about this#ofmd meta#man on fire#calypso's birthday
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I assure everyone that I would never give JJ Abrams of all people credit he doesn't deserve. But the man has given multiple interviews over the course of the last nine years about the narrative trajectory he originally envisioned when he, Michael Arndt, and Lawrence Kasden created The Force Awakens. I'd have to be both flat-out stupid and ignoring basic tenets of media literacy to pretend he didn't set up clear and obvious character arcs for the new cast of characters in TFA that Rian Johnson then deliberately chose to ignore
#star wars#sw fanwank#jj abrams#local Jewish man creates Neo-Nazi convert who kills his last major avenue to de-radicalization at the end of the movie#and then somehow people came out of that with 'he's on the path to redemption!' instead of 'he's actively choosing the Dark Side' 😭
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Every time you ship Mitsuba with a girl, Kou punches a wall
#mitsuba sousuke#mitsukou#soukou#kousuke#seriously i am fed up with these ppl#normally i’d just leave them alone but if they insist on beefing with me i’m gonna beef back#vaguely and indirectly tho since tiktok wouldn’t let me call this one bitch a bitch#you cannot use “chronically online” to dispute every opinion you disagree with#also all fandom discourse is chronically online#shipping itself is chronically online#yes i’m bitter you can laugh it’s okay#just gotta get this rant out bcuz omg straight ppl annoy me sm#he kisses men#he went on a date with a man#again i recognize that this whole discussion is in and of itself chronically online but you literally cannot use that argument#when you’re actively choosing to engage in ship discourse#that’s like showing up to a brothel and calling ppl whores#like yeah that’s technically true but why are you here#mitsuba is gay
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Me memorizing Hamilton's eulogy and preparing to recite the entire thing in front of my class on Friday for some reason
#like our teacher said we could choose any existing eulogy to recite for the activity and the minimum was a minute long#why am i doing this to myself i am very unable to speak in front of a crowd#oh i know why#autism#man.#hamilton#amrev#paper speaks
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rewatching dil gets spooky and it’s sooo comforting and nostalgic ugh I’ve been rewatching all the spooky gaming and baking videos but just old sims party hosting is so fun
#scrolling through the most recent comments as I do when rewatching old videos#and there’s one from a year ago (exact date unlikely but probably before the revival)#that says I know Dan is a grown man that is very analytical but I miss his outgoing humour#it really makes me think about how we perceive people going through different stages of life and how they choose to present themselves#like sure in the wad/ywgttn era dan was coming across as more mature or whatever that means#dealing with addressing different subject matter in his creative work ig#but I feel like people kinda like to put him in a box. like that was still the same dan!#even if he intentionally chose to present himself in a certain way through promo etc during that time#idk it is true though that over the past year in gaming videos and genuine introspective conversations like in the pizza mukbang#that he is letting go and allowing himself to just enjoy and be silly and do his little dances#do all the unhinged activities with Phil to promote a dragon iPhone game and laugh at tiktoks#he loves the word camp so Dan Howell is Camp and I love him#and we should let people ride out those different waves of life and self#idk wtf this is these tags are like a whole other post but oh well#dnp#dan and phil#dnpgames#randomthots#the sims
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If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.
#this is slightly joking but like also not but also like am mixed on Ulysses on many factors#infuriating because i sympathize with his pain but it’s like#he is a well written and fundamentally flawed character whose hypocrisy I found doubly in#black characters I can tell were designed by white people with a semblance of an understanding of activism and bipoc oppression#but not enough for the character to not feel like hand holding for the majority white audience#plus personal grips with the whole twisted hairs thing and reference to slave braiding patterns#Ulysses irks me as a black person on a weird personal level and I can go into debt on why him being black is a big detractor for him to me#like he continues this cycle of distancing himself from his roots before remembering over and over again through his actions#he leave so much in his wake that the courier ends up correcting or helping like in honest hearts and old world blues because he’s self#righteous in a subtle way even to himself that he believes he stand out of his one man rule when he does not play an active hand#saw a post talk about how you choose to continue moving through his story and can leave at any moment and this it is partially your fault#but what of the oath that is set before you and is forced to take that he set up#I do not have to walk it but when I do the steps are not my own but those taken for me#you have to go out of your way to change it which is not something he expects because he’s playing by a story he’s been perpetuating in his#head about you two and the effect one man has when he’s continually been that one man more so than you as many of his actions directly lead#to the one you go through also the irony in the flag he continues to bear being the real reason he has no home#like he reps it when the package is likely enclave and thus use the same symbol#also still can’t get over how anyone could have delivered the package and he tries so hard to act like it was the couriers destiny or fate#when this was the one case of chance and that once man was likely a enclave engineer and how it’s really is never one man#it the process and he’s so annoying about it like he’s a cool character but if you don’t believe in his philosophy or already went through#these ideas cause they are very common talking points in poc especially BIPOC spaces he’s just old hashings and stunted#fallout#fallout new vegas#Ulysses you upset me but I’m like I feel you could be better if you weren’t so incessant#I don’t think I ever want to make a serious post stating this about him just because I’d start yapping and it’d never get finished#ulysses fnv#fnv ulysses#lonesome road
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i feel the warmth in my chest (and the chill on my skin makes it that much clearer)
(1,964 words)
Evan and Gregory, while waiting those few agonizing hours before Halloween can truly begin, go outside into the chilly weather and play in the leaves.
🎃🍫👻
It's a crisp Autumn afternoon when Evan steps out onto Gregorys porch. The screen door slams behind him, and the air transitions from warm to chilly in only seconds. The breeze washes over his face like a wave, and Evan finds he dosnt mind the cold that much in this moment.
It makes his nose numb and his fingers freezing, but unlike how he usually feels about the cold, he welcomes it. He takes a deep breath, smelling the scent of fallen leaves and crisp air and the pumpkins Evan had carved with Gregory last week sitting by his feet next to the stairs. It fills his lungs, and alongside the aftertaste of Aunt Chicas cookies on his tongue, the chill is pleasant, unlike how its usually so unbearing and biting in his own home.
It doesnt take long for the temperature to wash over him fully. By the time hes stepping down the stairs, his thin,white overcoat flowing behind him, its left his shoulders shaking and his teeth chattering.
But so like he's not used to, the deep, bone chilling cold only adds onto his excitement. It's that type of chill you can only get during Halloween, with that specific vibe and feeling coming along with it. Evan has never liked that unmatched feeling. All it ever told him was that Halloween was on it's way, and along with it, Michael and his pushing and pulling and jabbing and messing with. With the addition of the neighborhood kids jumping in if they'd see him walking down the street on the one night of the year it would be acceptable to scare him with scary masks and bloody fingers and camouflaging cloaks, it made for a pretty dreadful day.
He takes another look at his costume, a ghost, with white flowy sheer fabric that makes him look like he floated right down from the clouds. Underneath is a white sweater and pants, and his makeup is done to make him appear ghastly and, well... dead. Eyes sunken in with deep shadows and complection pale.
Gregory is matching with him, kind of. Gregory's costume is of a murder victim. Hes wearing sort of varsity jacket with a plastic knife stabbed in his gut, and his face is painted with bloody makeup and a faux black eye. Gregory hadn't explained the specific costume he called a 'Zombie Murder Victim High School Football Star', just gotten excited over the fact that they matched with their undead themes.
Its Evans first year matching with someone. His first year having someone to go trick or treating with. Theres something about this year. It doesn't leave him guessing. It doesn't leave him on edge, wondering who will strike first, all while being so uncertain but sure at the same time that something will go wrong. This year, he has Gregory and his family. This year, he has people who actually care about how he feels, and understand how to have fun.
This year, he knows Michael will be across town with his friends, and that his father will lock himself in his workshop. He knows that the neighborhood kids wont dare mess with him now, because of how many times Gregory has shown them a thing or two over the better part of this year.
This year, Evan isnt dreading the coming hours. He isnt hiding in his room, celebration or joy for the Holiday nowhere to be found, because he has to watch his back and sides. This year, he isnt considering running away for the night, even though he had always known he would never be brave enough to do it.
Instead, he's going trick or treating with his best friend, and he only feels excitment and anticipation, compared to the stark contrast of last year where all he felt was on edge and trapped in his own house.
The sun is only just setting by the time he steps onto that little pathway leading to the backyard from the front porch. Waiting for it to get dark has been agonizing. It had only gotten too much when he and Gregory were sat in front of a movie they'd seen a thousand times, makeup and costumes done, and unable to sit without wiggling or fidgeting, and Gregory had jumped up and gone "That's it! I can't just sit here anymore!"
That's why Evan's followed him outside. For the better part of the day Gregory has been more restless than a bored puppy.
Evan thinks the description fits when he finally catches up to Gregory and finds him digging through the shed in his backyard. Evan doesn't really know why he came out here. Theres much less to do outside than there is inside, but his intentions become clear when he moves to stand by Gregory's shoulder, and he goes Aha! while retrieving something.
Evan stares blankly when Gregory pulls out a rake, turning to face him and grinning at him. "Want to build a leaf pile and do cannonballs in it?"
He doesn't even have to ask.
It's not long before they're trekking through backyard, browning leaves crunching under their sneakers as they head to that big tree in the middle of the yard. When they get there, they waste no time grabbing the big rake and making the inklings of a pile on the flattest bit of ground.
The rake is heavy, and Evan can barely control it, if how it swings around and almost hits Gregory in the face is any indication. The handle is ice cold on his fingers, but it only makes Evan that much more aware of the excitment thrumming through his veins.
With Evan using the rake, Gregory takes to getting on his knees and shepherding the leaves to the pile with his hands. Gregory laughs over the dirt under his fingernails and how the still-damp leaves from the light shower earlier are chilly on his hands, and it makes Evan abandon the rake and get on the ground with him.
It takes longer than it should to finish the pile. They keep getting caught up in throwing the leaves at eachother like snowballs and using their hands to push waves at eachother like they're in a pool. The leaves end up more scattered than the were originally, and Evan has to get the rake again.
By the time they finish and theres a huge pile of damp leaves sitting in front of them, the sky is a dark, deep blue with the horizon a yellow. The sun is only barely peeking through the trees, and it's enough for the automatic porch lights to come on.
With the lack of sunlight, it's gotten that much colder. Evan's shivering enough that it makes his laughs warble, but he doesnt care. He doesnt care about the cold.
They only take a short break before they jump in. Evan lays flat on the ground, damp excess leaves and ice cold dirt underneath him. His throat is dry from the chill and how much he talked, and laughed, and his cheeks are sore from smiling too much. His nose is numb, and the thin, cheap Spirit Halloween costume does nothing for keeping him warm, but he doesn't need it.
Through the cold, it makes the warmth blooming in his stomach that much clearer. It makes the laughter bubbling in his chest and the excitement that the fun isnt even over, yet, he still gets to go trick or treating with Gregory after this, that much more apparent.
He has the warmth that spawned inside of him from spending time with his best friend and having fun with him to keep him toasty. So unlike his own home, where the chill is all there is. No warmth or comfort to adhere for that fact.
It's only now that Evan thinks that maybe, he doesn't really dislike the cold. Just how the cold is what comes with his unfeeling house and unpleasant family members and uncomfortable atmosphere.
Because here, right now, as he lays on the freezing ground, sky darkening above them and the last bit of leaves on the big tree in Gregory's backyard fluttering in the chilly breeze, he realizes he likes what comes with the cold, and not what the cold comes from.
With the cold comes the awareness of the warmth unfurling in his stomach. With the cold comes drinking the delicious, steaming hot chocolate Aunt Chica made. With the cold comes bundling up with his favorite sweaters, cuddling up under a fuzzy blanket, and watching a movie with Gregory.
With the cold comes those agonizing few hours before Halloween truly begins, and making a leaf pile with your best friend.
Evan knows his all-white costume is dirtier by the time he finally gets up, the knees of his white jeans brown and dirtied, but he doesnt have time to dwell on it when all he hears is a breathy laugh before hes shoved face first into the leaf pile.
Even through the leaves submerging his head, he can hear Gregory cackling. He sputters when leaves get in his mouth, and while regaining his footing after rolling around a few times, he wastes no time shooting up and grabbing Gregory by the shoulders.
Gregory yelps when hes yanked down with Evan, and all Evan is aware of when his eyes shut in glee from how hard hes laughing is the soft, scratchy, earthy leaves beneath him, the breeze in the air that just screams Halloween, and Gregory's body fallen on top of him.
Gregory grabs some leaves and smushes them into his hair. All Evan can do is screech at the wet chill before grabbing his own fistful and doing the same. Leaves fall over them like a wave when they roll around, wrestling in the yard.
They only stop when they get too tired to keep going. His costume is definitely dirty by now, damp like the leaves and dirt. The scent of wet earth and the cold and Halloween washes over him, and all he can find in himself to do is grin, and giggle breathlessly and chatter with Gregory as he lies on the ground, shoulder to shoulder with him.
Its almost pitch black by the time Freddy opens the door leading to the backyard, stepping outside, Frankenstiens monster costume and all. "Kids? Are you two ready to go? Its almost time for trick or treating!"
Evan only shares a fleeting look with Gregory before they both shoot up, previous exhaustion from their little fight completely gone. Evan runs side by side with Gregory to the door, his costume with the mud stained hem flowing behind him, and all Evan can feel in this moment is warmth, despite how his nose is numb and his shoulders are shaking and theres this chilly, floaty feeling in his chest.
He knows that there are definitely leaves in his hair when he steps inside after Gregory, and when the heat of the home blasts him in his face, making his freezing face tingle, the warmth prickling and sharp, Evan finds that with the cold can come the warmth, and maybe it isnt so weird that Evan feels nothing of the sort when it comes to his own house, and his own family.
It was never about the cold.
Just like how the warmth with Gregory and his family has never been about the temperature.
He only has time to grab his candy bucket (shaped like a mummified teddy bear) before he and Gregory are shooting through the front door, racing to Freddys car. He smiles even wider when the cold air rushes across his face again, and he can hear Gregory's footsteps next to him and Freddy and the others' voices behind them.
ao3 link
#feel like having a family that actively is out to get you and hates you would be awful on holidays.#in a way it makes you feel worse because maybe nothing is different#but the fact that its a holiday and youre supposed to be having fun but youre sitting here on edge and scared and miserable as usual just#makes you more upset#with evan its not even just the usual#really.#its the combination of having your mood soured because everybody is having fun celebrating and decorating with their families#but your family just. doesnt do that.#plus michael probably notices evans mood and gets his tons of scary masks he now has access to because of the halloween season#and torments evan times two. and now he has all of the tools at his disposal with multiple masks to choose from to target evans phobias#but anyway hes chilling now! literally.#he has people who love him and have built him up all this time and its not perfect#but man is evan happy he has them.#he gets to be a kid and relax and it makes his house a little more bearable when he knows thats not it for him#flashlight duo#gregory and evan#pandas writes#oneshot#halloween#fnaf gregory#evan afton#flashlight duo modern au#my fics
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i will never understand how some people can actively shit on something they know someone loves and finds joy in right in front of them. how can you hate something that makes someone else happy in this absolutely fucked world in front of them.
its the passive aggression for no reason i will never ever understand or do to others. if you have a passion, fucking LIVE it. if nothing else, passion gets us through every shitty day, and i will always support it.
have passion in spite of those who hate.
#its absolutely mind boggling to me#and genuinely makes me so fucjinf upset#i was sitting next to my sister who has been nicer to me than usual as she is talking to her online friend and im doing my nails silently b#its her polish and i didnt wanna take it out of her room. but i look up and shes ranking music genres which is all cool. but without#hesitation as the first one at the most bottom tier she put kpop. like i understand its not her cup of tea but i was like okay thats#something that actively makes me wanna keep living yaknow. and she knows that. so i was like#‘interesting placement for kpop’ and she didnt say anything so i said ‘im not sure youve listened to it enough to have such a violent#opinion on it’ and she immediately got angry saying shes ‘heard enough’ and then got mad at me for saying that saying why was i being ‘like#this what the fuck’ and my heart genuinely sunk into my ass but i couldnt leave even though i felt like crying bc i only did one hand and i#was drying at that moment plus i didn’t wanna make it a big deal. but this is not the first time she’s actively hated on my music without#prompt from me and it just makes me ????? like. music taste differs with everyone i understand this and i respect it. if something brings u#happiness then i would love to hear and listen even if i wouldn’t choose it myself. but being a bitch about it. idk#ultimately its the fact of being mean for no reason over someone else’s passion makes u a fucking asshole#:)))) im not crying bye#ashley rambles#to delete later#my mom and brother do it too btw. hating on it and making sure i hear it.#my mom was doing it the other day and my 7 year old nephew kept saying ‘pook i love it. i think its cool’ and it made me cry because kids#have the capacity for such unaltered kindness as the world has yet been cruel to them#idk man
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i got the confession scene with Mistel and honestly i know I've seen some people say its creepy and it might just be because i tend to view everything in games like this as decidedly not happening to me
but i thought it was really cute
I can for sure see why some people would be unnerved by it but he's just over here like
"wait you like like me? Bad decision really. You're stuck with me now. you're not allowed to leave."
And i find it really endearing like this boy's got problems and I'm very here for it. Poor guys got abandonment issues
#mistel#Sos mistel#Story of Seasons#story of seasons mistel#idk man I'm ace#love dating sims but its never actually me dating them or in my mind at least its not#that sounds weird but its the easiest way i think to explain it#And I will most likely choose another character to ship with anyone datable regardless#because for me shipping is my main fandom activity and what I have the most fun with#bokumono#Bokumono Mistel
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Currently thinking about kid Jason trying to look like his dad (willis)
#DISCLAIMER IM STILL ACTIVELY READIJG COMICS THE ONLY VERSION OF WILLIS I KNOW IS THE ORIGINAL#WHO WHILE A CRIMINAL WAS NOT IMPLIED TO BE ABUSIVE OR /TRYING/ TO HURT JASON. AND WAS MOSTLY ABSENT DUE TO JAIL#Anyway.#i knoww they just did it so we could immediately clock Willis as Jason's dad but man. kinda thinking about how#they have the exact same hairstyle#most notably the curls#(from the picture we see when jason discovers he might be dead)#and i think its cute#jason doesn't have the curls when bats first meets him (understandable. itd be hard to maintain a specific. esp curly. style like that.#jason may not even have consistent access to a shower n shampoo at this point in his life)#and idk man! i think its fun to imagine that. rather than the hair being meant to copy a young dick from the writers#its a young jason choosing to look like his dad#holding onto what he can#because no matter what we know Jason cared about willis in some form. we know he was upset when he learned that willis had died#and wanted to get his revenge over who was thought to have done it when he had the chance#jason todd#sorry. latching onto willis bc bruce keeps disappointing me. yknow how it is
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