#and a plot and background characters and just. so much of my time has gone into these characters i’m so attached to them 😭

[lettiegrief]

It's ironic to me that part of the fandom insists so much that Hua Cheng's personality revolves around Xie Lian when in fact MXTX created Hua Cheng first and then had to make Xie Lian his ideal type. Like, the truth is that Xie Lian was molded for Hua Cheng. I find this contradiction very funny, I'm sorry.

But they were indeed created for each other.

Hua Cheng has a strong personality, he is firm in his ideals and beliefs, assertive in his opinions, cold in his justice and someone who does not bend the rules just to fit in, he creates a third way instead of adapting to a world that hates him and was cruel to him.

His ideal type would have to be someone as confident as him, who not only does not bend the rules, but also does not get corrupted by difficulties, someone benevolent enough to see people like him with kindness, because only someone faithful in his beliefs would be able to be so different from everything that the world says is right — because the right thing is for you to annihilate people like Hua Cheng, whether they are innocent or not, just because of a supposed curse that they did not ask for.

This meta is based on this excerpt from the afterword that MXTX put in TGCF ↓

When it comes to character designs, the Shou’s were decided on first for the first two novels, but I was torn over the Gong’s for a long time, and needed a run-in period. Hua Cheng, however, was an exception. Inspiration struck and there he was; inspiration struck again, and I blinded one of his eyes.

[...]

It was actually the Shou, Xie Lian, who tortured me for up to half a year’s time. When the novel started serializing, I was still torn over him for a long time.

[...]

But the most important thing is, by my instincts, someone like Hua Cheng will most definitely love someone like this. So, after a good half a year’s worth of qualms, in the end I still typesetted him: It’s you!

Speaking more about this postscript, I found it interesting how for MXTX, Xie Lian was the most difficult character she has ever played. People tend to think that Xie Lian only has two personality traits: (false, for many) kindness and idiocy. The idiocy may even be right lol, but when you stop to think about it, Xie Lian is a really difficult character to create and, mainly, to develop.

For all the layers he has, he could easily be a snobbish prince, a vengeful and bitter ex-prince, a fallen prince who rises again to reconquer his kingdom and reclaim his throne or a spotless saint who is always intelligent and wise and is above things like sadness, anger, lust, etc.

We know that Xie Lian is none of these things, he was not made for these plots. But if he is none of these things, then what could he be? Honestly, I find it very difficult for anyone to come to the conclusion that your protagonist is a "loser" who failed and has no ambition to rebuild his kingdom and become the new king. It's bold to make your protagonist a poor and extremely unlucky nomad, especially with the princely background that you gave him, we can see from the amount of stories out there about protagonists who lost their kingdoms and then have a path of reconquest that it's difficult not to be tempted to follow that path.

Of course, Xie Lian is a god, something greater than a prince or king, but he is a poor god, known as "the joke of the three kingdoms", he has no wealth and for 800 years he only had 1 believer that he didn't even know existed and he is also known as the "god of plague" and "immortal scrap collector", unconventional titles in the literary world lol

He must experience youthful ignorance, overestimation of his own abilities, have been laughable, been foolish, made mistakes, despaired, felt hatred, gone crazy. But he can’t run, and he can’t hide; everything is what it is. All this was killing me. Not just within the text, but outside the text too. My mediation was useless, and I’ve no energy anymore either, so in order not to be affected, I stopped looking at comments altogether. Since I always habitually vaccinate myself before a serialization begins, speculating on all the worst possible scenarios and preparing myself mentally, by the time serialization started I had already expected how all the negative comments would go down. But after much hesitation, I still thought, why not try all different kinds of characters? I haven’t tried writing a main character like this before.

— MXTX

[starwrighter]

1/?? Halloween prompt

I’ve got brain rot for creepy Deadserious content but only when it’s only seen as creepy by outsiders. (I know I’m writing a fic with a similar plot but it’s different I swear! Also my grammar is shit because I’m getting dental work done tomorrow and I’m nervous) Tw for stalker behavior

So Damian has a crush on Danny and immediately goes about acting on these feelings much to onlookers horror. Danny is swooning because someone made the effort to do a background check on him. Danny thinks Damian doing this is really smart because, he could be a serial killer for ancients sake why would you risk that? Others say this is a horrible invasion of privacy.

Damian not realizing he's being creepy (being liminal and being an ex assassin, turned vigilante wasn't doing him any favors) Plus Danny also not realizing it's creepy unless you relay Damian behavior towards him with different names.

Damian's just being a textbook stalker, breaking into his house and shit and Danny's all like "awwww he likes me" because this is just normal ghostly courting rituals! His dormroom isn't his lair so Damian breaking in doesn't feel like he's violating any sort of boundary. To him it's like a friend showing up at the coffee shop you work at to say hi.

Danny's had stalkers before, he's very cautious of his behavior to insure he never stalked anyone. Being stalked back in Amity was a horrific experience for him. From cameras in the locker rooms at school (wes) to cameras in his bathroom and bedroom at home (Vlad)! He couldn't feel safe anywhere! To Danny Damian's not a stalker, he's his protector. Nobody seems to understand when he tries to explain this though they just look at him like he's lost his mind.

Damian’s not subtle at all and Danny’s kicking his feet like a lovesick school girl who found out her crush likes her back. Overall it’s super cute from their points of view Damian’s planning an official confession to ask him on a date while Danny’s trying to figure out if Damian actually likes him or is just being nice. They’re just doing normal couple things but people just jump and attack Damian’s character while painting Danny as some kind of brainwashed victim.

The thing is… Danny’s become very good at appearing normal while Damian refuses to pretend to be a bumbling idiot like the rest of his family. He also refuses to dull down his personality for anything other than secret identity reasons. For these reasons since their relationship had become public, Damian had been painted by the media as a creepy possessive boyfriend who threatened Danny into a relationship. This infuriates Danny, the only one doing any kind of possession is him god damn it!

They want to be around each other all the time and that’s normal behavior for ghost/liminal couples! They live much longer than regular humans do they’re like elves, their perceptions of time are messed up. They still spend time apart they still have hobbies and an independent life, people just get hung up on the amount of time they do spend together. It’s normal behavior for them to know mountains of information about each others interests to the point they almost know more than each other. It’s normal to know each other’s schedules and background check the people they associate with. (The realms are very dangerous with shapeshifters and manipulators like spectra and Desiree who can ruin your afterlife in a matter of minutes) Their relationship is creepy to those who haven’t gone to extremes to survive.

Damian has taken to ignoring the reputation press has given him. He’s dealt with paparazzi and tabloids before it’s just frustrating to deal with. It’s when people start accusing him of hurting his beloved that really pisses him off.

(Bonus if Danny’s the one frothing at the mouth to maul a reporter while they try to paint him as a poor innocent victim)

I’mma end the prompt with this so everyone understands why Damian specifically being targeted by press. The more liminal you are the more creepy/uncanny you appear to other people and the more effort you have to put in to hide it. It’s why the bats are more believed to be Eldritch creatures than actual humans in suits. Surprisingly becoming a Halfa completely changes this effect to do the complete opposite. It’s easier for the human brain to look at a halfa and think “Innocent or normal,” Vlad and Danny were morons when it came to actually hiding their identity’s it was only their statuses as halfa’s that prevented people from comprehending them being anything other than normal.

In short Damian’s too dead to be perceived as normal while Danny’s too alive to be perceived as anything other than normal.

[ailoda]

ᯓ★ favourite writers

@luveline

@whirlybirbs

@pellucid-constellations

@aquaticmercy

@wkemeup

@intrepidacious

ᯓ★ favourite fics

Undisclosed - @pellucid-constellations

Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either.

I remember this being one of the first series I read after coming back to Tumblr. I wasn't one for Marvel AU’s at the time, as I preferred to read canon or adjacent fics, but I took a chance on this one and it completely changed everything. I absolutely loved it. It has the perfect amount of fluff and angst, and a plot to rival some of my favourite published work. The story and background are so well-placed and developed that it was too easy to fall in. I devoured this in I think two days - non-stop reading until I finished. It completely opened me up to AU’s. I come back so often as a sort of comfort read, and no matter how many times I’ve read it, I still get excited and devour it like I’ve never read it before. One of the first fics I thought of when compiling my 2024 favourites.

Just One Kiss - @sarahwroteathing

Bucky Barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. How long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss?

This was the first 40s!Bucky fic that I read and is to blame for my 40s!Bucky obsession that has lasted all these months. I was completely enthralled from the first paragraph, and it stands as my favourite 40s!Bucky fic and easy my top 3 series overall. I religiously come back when looking for a comfort read or for getting my 40s!Bucky fix. It's amazing how well the characters (both canon and not) have been interpreted and developed, and as simple as the plot feels, it just works so well. There's no need for any plot twists or big moments to push the story along; the characters and the way they all naturally feed and contribute to the overall plot are more than enough. It's written so well that, despite reading it well over 10 times, I still feel all the emotions and feel just as empty finishing it as I did when I first read it. I really wish this was a printed book that I could have on my shelf; that I can always reach for and never be deleted (pls don't ever delete it!). It’s the cutest fic that has me laughing, crying, and kicking my feet no matter how many times I read it.

Twin Flames / Two Sides of The Same Coin - @anonymityisfunwriter

Grumpy x Sunshine Series

I couldn't decide on one - they both HAD to be included. These are to blame for my falling completely in love with fan fiction after a decade away. I hadn’t had Tumblr in so many years and decided to re-download during my Masters for some escapism, and boy did this deliver. The dynamic is amazing - the way they bounce off each other is a testament to the amazing writing and character development. The way they manage to create a sunshine!reader with so much backstory without it feeling childish or forced is, again, a testament to the amazing writing and planning, and just…*chef’s kiss*. Despite taking some plot points from canon films, I really enjoyed how these scenes didn't feel boring or repetitive. Similarly, I love how the reader is able to fit in seamlessly into scenes that we had already seen and bounce off an already established dynamic between Sam and Bucky. The thought and effort that must have gone into the reader's character development, never mind the series as a whole, is so evident. I have re-read and re-read these for months and will continue to do so until the end of time.

By Any Other Name - @wkemeup

When Agent Barnes is assigned undercover within Hydra, he finds himself drawn to the woman who doesn’t seem to belong in this world of violence, the wife to the head of Hydra… you. 

I re-read this quite recently and it felt like finding an old song that you loved hidden in your playlist. I've now re-read it twice in the span of a week, it's just so good. This fic stood out to me partly because of its writing and interesting and well-thought-out plot, but also because of how well-written I feel the reader is. The reader is multi-faceted and far from one dimensional, which I've found is a barrier for me reading these types of fics. While the reader embodies typical traits associated with feminine protagonists in this genre - such as submissiveness and other conventionally 'feminine' attributes - these are not portrayed as weaknesses in the typical sense. What I mean is that they are reframed to be strategic strengths. She wields her femininity and perceived lack of power in a wholly make-dominated environment to her advantage. At the same time, her 'true' strengths compliment these qualities, creating a balanced and complex character that also has room for the development we see throughout the fic. A defining aspect of the reader's personality that I really enjoy is her self-awareness; they know when and how to act, and when to hold back, making her a compelling and empowered figure in a story and genre where that is so difficult to achieve.

From the Void, with Love - @whirlybirbs

Watch two forever-lovers fall in love again. 

This was my first Loki series, and boy was it a good one to start with. I'm not one to read Loki fics usually as I can never usually find ones that entice me, but I was so happy to have stumbled upon this! A testament to the planning and writing ability was the way the reader’s involvement in the TVA storyline was interweaved without it feeling unnatural or forced. I love how the inner-workings of the reader's mind is included, and how their thoughts and feelings are so seamlessly interwoven into scenes without it feeling clunky or taking away from what's going on. I also really enjoyed the comedic elements, particularly the thoughts and reactions the reader had to things happening and how they bounced off Loki's dialogue so well. I found myself laughing so many times. It's one of those fics where you wish you could go back and read it for the first time again.

When It All Falls Apart - @bucky-bucket-barnes

The fate of the universe was in your hands. Bucky and you had been sent to retrieve the soul stone, a seemingly simple task. Unbeknownst to you, there was a hefty price to pay for such an exchange. You’re able to return to Earth, but it’s soon apparent part of you was left in Vormir.

This has to be one of my favourite fics of all time, but I also hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It feeds my deepest, most love-deprived soul. I personally feel that angst is so challenging to write and write well. Part of why I feel that way is because I feel that good angst needs to convey emotions and feelings effectively because it's about expressing the character's inner world and guiding how they feel to drive and guide the plot forward. A difficult aspect of this is ensuring the reader feels and understands the character's emotions rather than letting their own feelings cloud their perception and misinterpret the character's rationale and journey - keeping the story's emotional trajectory clear and true to the characterisation you have set. This is something that this writer can do so so very well. I cried the first time reading it, and the emotions still hit me after reading it over and over again. If anyone watches K-Drama’s, this has Uncontrollably Fond vibes. Such a good read if you’re looking for that heart-ripping angst.

My Own Soul’s Warning - @aquaticmercy

You, an immortal being, fall in love with the very mortal Bucky Barnes. You would do anything for him, even if it meant you had to strike a deal with Death herself.

This is another fic that I wish I could go back and read it again for the first time. I fell in love immediately. It's the fic that cemented @aquaticmercy one of my favourite writers. Well, that and the fact that they have some of the most intriguing and well-thought-out plot ideas that I've seen. It's difficult to choose a single fic really, but I cannot not choose 'My Own Soul's Warning' - it's a difficult one to compete with for me. The writing is one of the best I’ve read and the flow and feel of the story is second to none. It seems that with every new addition to this story, it just gets better and better (which I thought was impossible). They are able to narrate feelings and emotions so beautifully that it's impossible to not feel what the reader is experiencing. One of my favourite aspects is how they are able to think of things I would never have even thought of, and how they are able to write and explain these things and communicate feelings so well. Another aspect as to why this is so beautifully written, and why @aquaticmercy is a favourite, is when a writer can - without being explicit in their writings - craft a story where the depth of emotions is palpable without needing to be spelt out, leaving readers to grasp and feel them on their own. Where the reader is feeling more than their own emotions and feelings in response to the story, but also what the writer has curated and intended them to feel. Being able to do this without explicit writing is so difficult, and part of the reason why they are one of my favourite writers in general. I've tried to explain my deep feelings for this fic in a way that hopefully makes sense, but it's difficult to write everything I love because there is just so much to say. I am in love and we are married.

[flowerandblood]

The Fall from the Heavens (7)

[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: sex content, loss of virginity, smut, angst, mention and description of rape, mention of trauma ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Childhood

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

He didn't know what made him follow her out then, after supper, when his father was carried back to his chamber. He felt fear, uncertainty and tension when he saw her leave without even giving him a single glance, as if what she had just said meant nothing to her.

My place is with you, uncle.

He drank with a deep gulp the remainder of the wine that was left in his goblet and put it down with a loud clink of steel, rising from his chair, avoiding the figure of his mother, who was saying something to him quickly, surely wanting to know how he could have done this to her.

He figured that the last time he had done something just for himself he had lost his eye, and that evening he was not going to lose anything else.

She didn't seem surprised that he had followed her out − she stopped and looked at him over her shoulder when she heard his footsteps.

He was trying to decide what he saw in her gaze, tired, sad, disappointed in him and the way he was acting, who he had become.

Still, it seemed to him that their unanimity at the table had reassured them both, that they had obviously proved something to each other.

Neither of them could end it.

He gulped, looking away from her, folding his hands behind his back.

"Your mother will return to the Red Keep in a few days at my mother's request. To discuss our nuptials." He said dispassionately, hoping she understood what he was trying to imply.

There was no need for her to return with them.

Since she wanted it so much, he could take his time with her, speak with her about whatever it was she had wanted over the years.

His expression that he was able to control his aggressive, violent nature.

She nodded and surprised him by moving ahead again, as if she didn't care what he had to say. He pressed his lips together, furious at himself for the desperation he felt, at the fact that part of him not only wanted to prove something to her, but feared that once she left, she would be gone forever.

"She stole you away from me then, but I won't let it happen this time. You are to stay. You'll return to Dragonstone in a few days, with her." He growled with pain, regret, dispassion, at the very thought of the memory of the night, the first in many months that he had spent alone, crying in despair, listening for when she would come to him.

It was obvious she would come to him, he thought then, trying to calm the convulsions that shook his body.

As soon as her mother was asleep she would slip out of her chamber again, as she always did, sneak up to him, embrace him and soothe his pain and fear.

He waited and listened for her footsteps, that distinctive, quiet creak of wood that always brought him relief.

But she didn't come, then or for many nights afterwards.

He saw her stop again and look at him surprised, as if she didn't believe those words had really left his mouth; something in her eyes had changed, her brow arched in pain.

She lowered her gaze, as if pondering his words, as if she had allowed them into her heart, and he thought in disbelief, trying to calm his breathing, that it had worked.

She hesitated.

She lifted her eyes to him and swallowed loudly, sighing quietly.

"I will stay, but only until my mother returns. Then I will travel back to Dragonstone with her and stay there until our nuptials." She said quietly, looking him straight in the eye.

"Yes. It will be appropriate." He replied at once, forcing himself to be indifferent, feeling his heart pounding hard, his body shuddering with satisfaction and contentment.

He thought with some kind of pride that she remained as she had been years ago, that she, unlike Aegon, could converse.

His brother understood only violence, only force; he could not count the number of times he had dragged him out of the brothels, the number of times he had had to hit him to revive him, the number of times he had yelled at him to make him come to his senses.

With his mother he didn't speak but prayed, with Helaena he didn't speak but stayed in her company, with his grandfather he didn't speak but exchanged dry facts.

He didn't speak with his father, because he hardly saw him.

He did speak with Criston, but he always told him what he wanted to hear.

She, however, understood perfectly the nuances and beauty of conversation, could explain what she herself felt, and could also listen to the other side, accept a sensible argument, take another opinion into consideration.

He thought with shame that he hadn't even noticed when he had become a brutal, silent stone that rammed everything in its path.

He let her go when she replied that she needed to ask her mother's permission and hid in the library, knowing that he had nothing to return to his chamber for.

He knew that his mother had certainly made sure that the guards at his and her door ensured that neither of them crossed the threshold of their quarters.

He sat down in the candlelight at one of the oak tables, taking earlier from the bookcase a book devoted to the complex grammar of the language of Old Valyria that he had been analysing and studying alone for several years, trying not to think about what had happened.

About how, despite what he tried to tell himself, the sight of her, her presence, her voice, her touch did not repulse him.

You desire me, but you're not in love with me.

He heard her words in his head and swallowed loudly, closing his eye, feeling a tightness in his throat, figuring that perhaps the few days they would spend together would calm the chaos in her and his head.

They had met years later at a time when things were happening that amplified his frustration, and although he was furious that Luke got what he wanted again, he promised himself that he wouldn't broach the subject with her.

That he would make an effort not to make things worse.

He shuddered when he heard the creak of the wooden door, and was surprised to find that he felt a warmth in his abdomen when she had in fact come to him, without any word or prior arrangement, as if she knew perfectly well that he would be waiting for her.

She looked around the hall, which she hadn't seen for years, walking slowly towards him, coming up to a bookcase filled to the brim with thick, slightly dusty volumes.

She smiled, pulling out with difficulty a large tome that had a leather, gold-decorated binding, which he recognised immediately, and watched silently as she moved towards him with The Great History of Aegon the Conqueror.

Memory after memory struck his mind as she placed the book in front of him, just to his right, exactly as it was then.

"What are you reading, uncle? Are you looking at our family tree again?" She asked lightly, and he felt a pleasant shudder, tightening his lips, hearing in her voice that she was teasing him, exactly as she had been then.

He crossed his legs and readjusted himself in his seat, looking at her out of the corner of his eye, at her figure and how much she had changed, at her breasts that just yesterday he were caressing with his hands.

"No." He replied lowly, unable to take his eyes off her chest encased in the material of her gown, her bare shoulders glistening in the candlelight.

She approached him, exactly as she had done then, leaning in so that their cheeks were right next to each other. He watched her out of the corner of his eye, trying to pretend he didn't feel what was happening in his breeches, in his manhood which, with its intense throbbing, betrayed what he thought of her long, dark hair and lashes, her bright eyes, the scent of vanilla that filled his lungs again.

"The language of Old Valyria? I might have expected that from my future husband's love of our family's traditions." She said softly, as if with some kind of admiration, and he felt a pleasant shiver run along his spine when she called him her future husband.

He knew she was trying to soften his violent nature, to soothe and calm him, to say and do what he wanted.

"Will you teach me, uncle? I promise to be a diligent and attentive pupil." She said with a quiet click of her tongue, looking down at him, waiting for his reaction.

He knew she was taunting him, wanting him to break, to touch her first, to tell her his thoughts, his desires.

"Mmm." He hummed, turning the page, going back to reading again, trying not to think about the fact that his cock pulsed hard under the thick volume he held in his hands.

He heard her quiet sigh of disapproval, out of the corner of his eye he saw her push back the chair to his right and sit down on it, just as she had then, delving into the story of Aegon the Conqueror again.

He could feel the tension between them, knew they were fighting for dominance, for who would break first.

He pressed his lips together, feeling hundreds of questions rush to his tongue, unable to focus on what he was reading.

What was between her and Daemon?

Did she really believe what she had said at supper?

Did she forgive him, or did she want revenge on him for the years of silence on his part?

He was dismayed that he didn't know what he thought of it all himself, once feeling relieved, once anxious, still coming back to the same conclusion.

He didn't trust her.

He closed his eye, trying to calm himself, feeling his heart pounding like mad.

When he opened it, he met her familiar worried gaze, her eyebrows arched in concern, in a warm, characteristic willingness to understand him, to listen to him.

He felt a sense of discomfort when he realised that once he had felt he recognised her, that she was someone close to him, someone he desired so much, only to decide a moment later that she was a stranger, someone distant, someone different than she had been before.

"You and Daemon." He began, recognising that he could not avoid her if she was to become his wife, that he had to understand what was in her mind, who was the woman who sat at his side. "What's between you two?"

She blinked, looking at him with wide eyes, as if she didn't understand what he was asking her.

"What do you mean?" She asked softly, without any fear or discomfort that might betray that his question frightened her. He licked his lower lip, playing between his fingers with a page from the book lying on his thighs.

"You two are delightfully close." He stated coolly and noticed that she twitched, swallowing loudly, as if she only now realised what his imagination was suggesting.

"Not in this way. Gods, uncle, you're the first one who…" She stammered, they both averted their gazes, embarrassed; he could see out of the corner of his eye her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"And you?" She asked suddenly and this time he threw her a surprised look, frowning his eyebrows; she looked at him fearfully, as if she was afraid of his answer.

He turned away from her, breathing loudly through his nose, feeling his heart pound at the memory of the woman Aegon had taken him to when he was only thirteen, the discomfort and tightness in his throat, that cruel, dark, overpowering shame.

He didn't want to remember it, the touch of that shapely red-haired girl much older than he was, her hand clenched over what was hidden beneath his breeches, his feeling of terror, even though she was telling him to relax.

He didn't want it, he felt it was wrong, his beloved had never touched him in such a way, in such a place.

He felt his lips clench so tightly that they turned blue, so that a squeaky sound of despair did not come from his throat.

"Aegon took me to some whore when I was thirteen. Time to get it wet − he announced then." He said, forcing himself to be indifferent, trying to distance himself from those memories, from the images that flashed involuntarily before his eyes, her body climbing over him, her hands untying his breeches, her whisper with which she tried to soothe him before he began to mutter that he did not want this.

"Prince Aegon paid me for your fulfillment." She answered him then, before she sank down on top of him, forcing him to feel her warm walls; for some reason he felt like he was about to vomit, something akin to a whine escaping his lips.

Seeing his state, tears streaming down his cheeks she stopped, desperate bringing him to fulfilment with mechanical, determined movements of her hand.

Her plump fingers squeezing him, up and down, up and down, as he shuddered and pressed his lips together, as tear after tear dripped down either side of his face onto that strange-smelling, scratchy bedding.

His purity had been taken from him once and for all, even though he had bathed for an hour after what had happened, he could still smell her suffocating scent on him.

That night he took all her letters out of his drawer and laid them down beside him, despairing to find that still when he concentrated very hard he was able to smell her scent, which had seeped into the parchment.

The smell of vanilla.

He shuddered at that memory and returned to the room he was sitting in, glancing at her quickly, unsure if he had done the right thing in telling her.

He swallowed loudly seeing that she was looking at him in disbelief, pained and resentful, apparently thinking that, like Aegon, he had indulged himself that night in the pleasures that a woman's body could give him.

Somehow he liked that look of distress and jealousy, the thought that she wanted him for herself, that she despaired at the thought that he could ever desire another woman.

He grunted, not wanting to mislead her, at the same time not knowing how to explain it to her and not come off as a weak, pathetic man who cried when a woman tried to ride him.

It seemed to him that it should come naturally to him, and the fact that it didn't was endearing to him as her future husband and lover.

"Fear not. I didn't lie in bed with her. I didn't want to bring another disappointment and cause of embarrassment to my mother." He hummed, feigning light-heartedness, spreading himself out comfortably in his chair, looking wearily at his fingers, thinking with relief that he had excelled himself perfectly while not going so far as to lie completely.

It was true that his mother's opinion of him was extremely important to him.

He heard her let out a quiet breath, fiddling in a nervous gesture with the fingers of her hands lying on the book open in front of her, gathering herself apparently to say something.

He looked at her indifferently, at her pleasing figure, her pale face framed by long black lashes and full pink lips, and thought with pain that whoever his future wife was, she was beautiful.

"Will you drink wine with me, uncle?" She asked in a quiet, trembling voice, as if she could not bear this discussion with a sober mind.

He sighed and nodded, recognising that he needed the alcohol in his veins no less than she did.

Criston Cole looked at them distrustfully, watching them closely when one of the servants brought them a jug and two goblets, placing them on the table in front of them; she wanted to pour them some wine, however, his niece pre-empted her, saying she would do it.

"You can leave, Cole." He said, taking his cup from her, which she half-filled first.

His mother's sworn protector stood before them with his hands folded in front of him, clenching his lips, an expression of disapproval and condemnation in his eyes that aroused his frustration.

"My Prince, your mother insists that you…"

"That we don't visit each other in our chambers at night. We are having a conversation in the library. You may leave." He added with emphasis not withstanding the objection, looking up at him from below with a look that did not accept the refusal.

Cole bowed, casting one warning glance at his betrothed, then headed for the entrance with a loud clang of his armour.

His niece sat again to his right, spreading herself comfortably in the chair, raising her cup to her lips.

"Has he been trying to father you for a long time?" She asked without thinking, as if the question came naturally to her.

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, fiddling with his chalice standing on the table in front of him, and sighed heavily, recognising that so far their honesty had only brought them closer together, and helped to calm him down.

"Unfortunately." He muttered, lifting the vessel to his lips and tilting it, taking a deep sip from it, the slightly tart, sweet and at the same time sour taste of grapes and alcohol spilling over his palate.

He heard her huff softly, glancing up at him with a slight, childlike smile; he felt hot in his chest at the thought that she still had it inside her, that amused twinkle in her eye, indicative of her brightness, of the fact that she was about to say something that would surely turn out to be true and an accurate statement.

"He's afraid you'll make his mistake." She said raising her eyebrows, however there was no mockery or challenge to be heard in her voice, he could hear her tongue hitting her palate with a quiet click as she uttered it softly, cheerfully, as if she thought it was a funny coincidence.

He looked at her impassively, knowing perfectly well what she was alluding to. He had heard, even as a young child, the conversations of servants who said that Criston Cole had broken his vows of chastity and lain in bed with Rhaenyra, who, however, later refused to run away with him and become his wife.

He wondered, what did he expect?

He answered nothing, taking another sip from his cup, looking thoughtfully ahead, remembering how he had repeatedly promised her that he would take her to Essos once he was a dragon rider.

"You also promised me a journey to Essos, uncle. I hope my future husband will not prove unfaithful to his words." She said lightly startling him completely − he looked at her wide-eyed having the impression that she was sitting inside his head.

Her head leaned against the back of her chair, her body spread out on it relaxed and soft, her beautiful dark hair framed her pale face on either side like the night itself.

She was smiling.

It was not a broad smile, almost imperceptible, at the corner of her mouth, her gaze, warm and assured, confirmed the sincerity of that grimace.

He felt a tightness in his throat at this sight; involuntarily the pointing finger of his hand outstretched on his armrest touched her bare skin. He felt her twitch, her lips parted slightly, her eyelids half open.

They began to play with each other's fingers, their tips rubbing against each other in the air illuminated by the warm light of fire and candles.

He had a lot of questions, a lot of doubts that made him furious − he thought about them as he watched their fingertips brushing against each other in the air, so innocent, tender, her skin so indecently soft.

Did she really think anyone would agree to Jace, that fucking bastard, being heir to the throne?

That a war wouldn't break out?

That after his father's death he would remain silent about who her brothers were?

He pressed his lips together, sighing heavily, realising that he would have to humiliate her along with them. He consoled himself with the thought that once she was his wife it wouldn't matter − she would become part of his family, their children would be from the rightful bed, and she would regain her dignity in the eyes of the kingdom.

They sat like this for a long moment, thoughtful, drinking wine, each locked in their own mind, only their fingers meeting once in a while, rubbing against each other in obvious need of closeness, reminding them of their presence.

"Why did you forgive me?" He asked finally, not looking at her though, but into the giant lit fireplace on the other side of the room, illuminating their faces along with the candles standing around them.

He felt her look at him, her gaze fixed on his face. She was silent for a long time before she replied.

"I have not forgiven you. I have understood you. Just as you understood me." She said finally, and he looked at her with a fast pounding, clenched heart, feeling discomfort in his lower abdomen.

Then, at last, everything became clear to him, and the weight that had been crushing him since he had seen her again fell from his shoulders.

They didn't have to force themselves to forgive each other.

They could just understand what had driven them, accept that they had unwittingly destroyed so much, and that some things they would never regain.

He felt suddenly that she was closer to him than ever before, his hand tightened on hers, wanting to see if she felt the same.

He swallowed loudly when her fingers intertwined with his, like the roots of two trees, like a vine; there was something ambiguous, something lewd about this gesture, he imagined their bare bodies hugged together in the same closeness.

"Spend the night with me." He muttered, looking at her, himself disbelieving that those words had left his mouth, feeling that his mind and his cock, all swollen in his breeches demanded her touch, her scent, her presence.

He saw in her misty gaze, in her slightly parted lips, in her sweetly rosy cheeks, that she felt what he said between her thighs, her chest rising and falling faster in shuddering breaths.

"Your mother…I'm sure Cole is waiting at the door to..." She started, but he didn't let her finish.

"Let's climb out the window to the cloisters. I'll take you to the empty servants' chambers." He said feeling her hand quiver in his grasp, excitement and determination in her eyes.

He thought he had completely lost his mind, that he was acting like a child, but maybe that was the point.

To pretend that he could get back anything of what had been taken from him.

She bit her lip at last, the corner of her mouth lifting in an innocent, cheerful smile from which he felt like throwing himself at her; he was sure that, like him, her daring had been enhanced by the wine she drank.

"Let's go, husband." She said softly, cockily, and he gasped loudly for air, standing up with a loud creak of old wood, feeling his head hum with each step to the shutters, the world around him seeming slightly blurred.

He opened them and immediately the cool evening air surrounded them. He glanced down and was relieved to see that they were not high up; he himself was easily able to get to the other side without jumping.

She moved after him without a word with a fierceness that surprised him, her task made more difficult by her long gown, but when he caught her at the waist and lifted her he managed to silently place her on the ground beside him.

They looked at each other with eyes full of self-satisfaction and pride, he grabbed her hand and pulled her behind him, he heard her sweet, pearly giggle.

Although he had said since he was a child that he didn't understand women's notions of fleeing lovers who organised late-night escapades for each other, he thought now that he hadn't known the one thing back then that changed everything.

This overpowering, ferocious desire.

As the door of the cool, cramped, modest chamber closed behind them, as he shut the bolt to make sure no one disturbed them, he turned to her. She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to stifle a laugh of disbelief.

"Gods, they're going to kill us, uncle…we're…" She didn't finish as his thirsty, yearning lips clung to hers in a greedy, wet, loud kiss, his hands clenched on her gown and hair.

He heard her sigh of delight, she threw her arms around his neck, reciprocating impatiently the movements of his lust-swollen lips, their fingers trailing and clenching on their bodies as if to make sure it wasn't a dream, sighing and panting into each other's mouths.

"Let me see your bare body." He whispered between the loud, sticky clicks of their saliva-wet lips. "Your uncle hasn't seen you in so long."

"You must reciprocate, uncle." She whispered sweetly into his mouth and he groaned into her throat, rubbing the bulge in his breeches against her. He felt his mind go hazy, her lips, the tip of her tongue meeting his sweet from the wine, everything around him swirling, so he relied only on his sense of touch and smell.

Their hands began to clumsily untie and unfasten their garments, bestowing loud, wet kisses on each other once in a while in an attempt to sweeten the ordeal of pulling off layer after layer of everything they were wearing.

He pulled off his boots with a quick, impatient movement, almost falling over, losing his balance; he heard her giggle sweetly, her grip on his arm keeping him from collapsing.

He thanked the gods that she was already standing in front of him in only her nightgown.

"Too much wine, uncle?" She asked teasingly and he snorted, furious, grabbing the back of her neck with his hand, walking forward, forcing her to step back until she fell with a quiet squeal backwards onto the bedding on the cramped bed.

"I'll fucking show you in a moment." He hissed teasingly, grinning involuntarily; she smiled cheekily beneath him, writhing under him in impatience, watching as with a nimble flick of his fingers he untied his breeches, pulling their material aside, releasing what was underneath.

She looked up at him with a dreamy gaze, breathing loudly when she noticed how big and swollen he was, the pink tip of his cock all glistening, wet with his own juices, twitching all over with desire.

"I need to feel you. Just for a moment. I won't be violent." He muttered spreading her thighs in front of him, drawing her buttocks closer; she nodded quickly, all red and trembling as he lifted the material of her nightgown higher.

"− fuck − what happened here, sweet niece? − you're leaking −" He whispered in a trembling voice, looking in disbelief at how wet she was, his thumb involuntarily ran over her heat from her bud to her slit, she squirmed beneath him, impatient.

"− tell your uncle what do you want − hm? −" He asked, not believing it was happening, having a feeling it was only a dream; he let his manhood run over her wetness, over her puffy folds, rubbing against her.

"− y-you − gods, I want you −" She mumbled out clasping her hands on the pillow on either side of her head, her hair spread around her head in wonderful disarray − his gaze fled from her face to his manhood sticky with her moisture, a shiver ran down his spine at her words.

"− spread your thighs wide − wider − just like that, come here − let me inside you − shhh −" He hushed her, hearing her whimper as the fat head of his cock pressed against her tight walls, with difficulty forcing its way inside her.

"− fuck − so tight −" He breathed out, clenching his eye almost in pain, his hands slid down from her thighs to her womanhood, his thumbs spreading the folds of her skin to the sides, allowing him to open her wide on his length. He groaned pathetically at the sight, her whole body trembling, a cry of exertion escaping her lips.

"− I know − I know − shhh − just a little more − it's almost in −" He gasped tenderly, wanting to soothe her, with a slow motion of his hips sinking deeper and deeper into her throbbing hot body.

The sensation of being inside her was very different from what he had felt when Aegon had taken him to the brothel, her muscles moist and hot, tight, clenching on his manhood so hard it took his breath away.

He felt vulnerable and safe at the same time, for here was his beloved, his Rhaenys reaching her hand up to his cheek, as terrified as he was, trying to soothe him with the gentle movement of her fingers, from which they both sighed.

"− you are so warm −" He whispered looking at her face, with gasp of exertion sliding his length fully inside her, feeling a tightness in his throat as if he was about to cry, her eyebrows arched in indecision, clear discomfort but also desire shone in her eyes.

"− uncle − too big −" She babbled, bravely trying to fit what he had just thrust into her; he shushed her again and slowly slipped out of her only to fill her again with himself. They looked at each other with slightly parted lips, shocked at how shameless and yet delightful the experience was.

"− gods, yes −" He exhaled, sliding out almost to the very end, only to sank inside her again with a loud click of her moisture, both of them moaned pathetically.

"− o-oh fuck, uncle −" She mewled as he sped up, rooting into her tight core again and again, slowly, tenderly, placing one of his hands next to her head. He chuckled involuntarily, guessing this must have been the first time she cursed loudly.

"− be quiet − want anyone to disturb us? − hm? − see how I take what is mine? −" He growled out, moaning low along with her, their naked bodies slapping against each other loudly, his cock all sticky from her moisture, he felt how at his words her walls clenched hard against him, sucking him inside.

"− i-if we get caught, won't you marry me? −" She asked despairingly like a small child and he snorted, looking with parted lips at her breasts bouncing slightly with each of his thrusts, his hand impatiently slid the material of her nightgown off her shoulder and squeezed one of them, massaging it between his fingers, playing with her nipple with his thumb.

"− you silly woman − no mere lord will take what belongs to me −" He hissed, speeding up, each buck of his hips stretching her hot, throbbing muscles with more and more intense, confident thrusts, he had the feeling that her fleshy walls had adapted to his size.

He leaned over her, sliding his tongue deep into her throat, their kisses loud and chaotic, forming a dance of their teeth, lips and saliva; they whined and panted into each other's mouths, her hands clenched on his naked buttocks, her breasts pressed against his chest as he rooted into her with low groans of pleasure.

"− o-oh gods, uncle − m close −" She whimpered, shuddering and panting beneath him, their bodies entwined together as then their fingers, tight, sweaty and hot, pulsing with desire, slapping against each other loudly.

"− me too − fuck − where −" He muttered, feeling that he was as close to fulfilment as she was, that one more push of his cock into her and it would be all over.

"− inside me − please, uncle, inside me −" She cried out and her words startled him so much that he just came, cursing loudly, furious at himself and his stupidity, slapping his hand loudly on the bed frame above her head in rage, moaning and panting along with her in elation and delight as his seed spilled inside her.

"− yes − gods, yes, yes, yes −" She mewled out, her eyes closed, her head tilted back, her lips parted sweetly in complete bliss, her hot walls clenching and throbbing against him in elation.

"− we're fucking fools − gods, my sweetest −" He howled, falling on top of her, crushing her with his body; he sighed quietly when he felt her arms quickly embrace him, his cock twitching hard inside her in the stupefying delight that was shaking his body.

"− forgive me −" She babbled, clearly only after a moment understanding what they had actually done.

He turned his cheek towards her, gripping her face in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"− we will marry as soon as possible − do not fret − I took you and you are mine now −" He whispered, and she breathed a sigh of relief, her lips swollen from emotion and exertion clinging to his in a tender, warm kiss full of gratitude and affection.

He closed her in his embrace, trying to calm his breathing with her, stroking her hair, thinking only of how never after he had claimed Vhagar had he felt so fulfilled as a man as he did now.

He thought that there was still hope for them.

That from now on everything would be as it should be.

What he didn't know yet was that the only person who wanted their nuptials as much as them had just fell asleep forever.

The King was dead.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires

[jess-the-vampire]

Happy Arborgeist Day/ Hurl'ullack!

Checked out the storyboard for another deleted s1 episode "No Tree Left Behind"

You can read it here:

An episode about boiling isles holidays and traditions? interlaced with eda and lilith's sister drama? This one was actually pretty interesting, and got me even a little sad, despite it absolutely being non canon now.

Thoughts on the cut episode below:

Honestly this board really serves to remind me we didn't get to know a ton about the actual culture of the Boiling isles, like we kinda get to know the stuff witches do on the isles, what they eat, and the everyday stuff they get into....but not so much about it's culture. You can kinda chalk that up to belos a little but this boarded episode was basically about keeping tradition and making new memories, even in spite of change, so it more or less feels like the crew either didn't have time for this or had other things to focus on.

So the culture of the island is a lot more in the background in the actual series as it keeps it's focus more on the characters dealing with their personal issues and with the conflict at hand.

Speaking of which, despite belos being the bad guy for his hatred and fear of witches, can't deny....the culture of the isles is quite disturbing at times that i can understand that not all humans are gonna have luz's extreme acceptance. Like king's holiday is primarily the celebration of demon overlords and is very casual about maiming others to present to the deity when talking about it. If the isles was a real place i think most humans would be a bit disturbed.

Anyways, king's part of the episode, while funny at times, is the least interesting of the two, the real emotional core is the A plot with eda and luz.

(I did think the scene with willow and gus was fun tho)

There is one scene where i think another demon calls king insensitive for putting the wrong bloodthirsty battle painting of demon history on display and king being like "Tomatoes, tomatoes, it's all the same and not a big deal", and the guy gets SUPER offended and i don't know how to take this scene.

Eda is such a menace during the holidays my god

Luz trying to tell Eda it's ok if her celebration tree is gone because she and her mama celebrated all holidays even if it wasn't on the correct day, and it was more about family in the end then the tree itself.

Only for it to be revealed this tree meant so much to eda because it reminded her of the days she and her sister got along is actually pretty heartbreaking.

Even Lilith, who, despite threatening luz's life to get her way, still has a moment of sadness for the fallen tree you can really feel from the panels. It's really good.

We get some moments for both the construction coven and the plant coven, though the construction coven acts more like.....an actual construction team.

The plant coven members being old guys had some fun jokes tho, think it's cute one wanted to intern willow at the end.

Also kiki cameo.

I know this is a canned episode, but i'm a bit glad we don't have an episode where some of the jokes are about eda telling luz their holiday traditions involve them all being naked and dancing around a tree, this....would of been taken a weird way.

also witches might be able to remove their SKIN??????!!!!

Also this board just remined me how inconvenient it really is that the coven guards don't have palisman, like eda just.....easily flies away from them and they can't catch up to her. Like this is an incredibly bad security system if your trained guards can't even fly up and chase after criminals, like my god.

One reason for sure you know this is basically non canon is apparently the tree in question, the Arborgeist. Is the tree that eda made her staff from, and there's only 10 of these on the entire isles that i assume supply all the palisman.

Basically, these were the proto palistrom trees.

I can kinda see why this was changed, like even if we take it that belos is cutting them down for his palisman eating, this would just raise the question why he's doing it NOW of all times. But on top of that, these rare trees that apparently only show up once per generation all being cut down at once feels like the kinda thing that would REALLY tick off the isles, especially if all palisman are being supplied by it.

Having the trees just be a normal thing that was depleting due to his consumption makes both him seem less suspicious, and the witches seem less dumb for just being....ok that they're not going to make staffs anymore.

It's implied they don't protest mostly out of fear, but still.

Also belos's, i assume fake, reasoning for chopping down the trees is apparently "We can't have you people celebrating non-coven holidays" and it's just, it's so petty.

granted, it's much more meaningful to actually SEE the tree being cut then having it be stated offscreen like in the show. Like even the resolution to this episode, as in, finding a sapling they plant, is still an offscreen thing in the final series. Where they just talk about replanting trees.

And of course, we gotta have a dance party ending, tho i do think the last scene tying back to the tale eda told about the holiday is very cute.

So it seems a lot of elements of this episode were more split between multiple episodes.

Still, a pretty decent episode, moreso for the main plot but the boards do great at really making you feel for eda and lilith despite it not even being animated.

[100-yardstare]

I was watching that new King Candy video on YouTube by Randomalistic and it got me thinking a lot about Wreck-It Ralph again, specifically about some background lore of the universe and the entire concept of the code and what it means to be alive in the arcade.

In this scene specifically, we are literally shown that code equals what is going on in the game. In the entire movie, "the code" is referenced like a god. You follow the code, you will be okay. If not, well... that could mean the end to either yourself or your world.

It's interesting to note that by dying outside your game you don't regenerate, yet manipulating the code itself like King Candy did didn't "delete" Vanellope. She was just made a glitch, which seems like a reasonable consequence of trying to delete her code. Perhaps it could explain why she couldn't leave the game Sugar Rush itself because her code was unstable, so the world's natural instruction to preserve her and itself would be to not allow her to leave.

But going beyond rules of the world of Wreck-It Ralph for a second, this is a cool reference to basic programing, which is essentially designing data into a sequence that a computer can interpret and execute. While the characters in Wreck-It Ralph are very much programs, they are also meant to be alive, and so, as this smart guy named Podolsky once said, "[there is a] counterpart for every element of the physical world." I don't remember where I read this part, but there were scientists talking about subatomic theory and how everything existing or anything that has existed is in some sort of quantum blueprint, parallel and expressing you, me, and that dog pissing on your tree outside into existence.

I AM GETTING TO MY POINT NOW

So my theory is that while a character may die and be unable to regenerate if something happens to them while they are outside their game, this doesn't necessarily mean that their code still doesn't exist.

Vanellope's code was attempted to be destroyed by King Candy, but that plot was a failure. He couldn't even modify existing code, like possibly changing the color of the salmon room or redesign Vanellope's kart because that's just what the code dictates. It's there and its permanent.

King Candy being an invader to Sugar Rush makes him not part of the game, and thus even though he was able to create an insert Sugar Rush character for himself to inhabit or essentially a "skin" to wear if you wanna be creepy about it, at the end of the movie he is gone. Dead as a door nail. He has no original code to refer back to because Turbo Time was unplugged, so he doesn't even have a source code that even remembers him as an individual. It's like a second death.

[comicaurora]

Have you seen the new Superman show on adult swim? Himbo Clark Kent rights

It's off to an extremely encouraging start! Thoughts under the cut!

I like how they portray Clark's super-strength and how comfortable he is flying and using super-speed. They really feel like innate characteristics of his body rather than powers he switches on and off - things he keeps toned down when people are watching, but things that are always present regardless. The number of times I've pulled a push door or shoved something that was stuck and thought "if I had super-strength I wouldn't get a Take Two on this because my hand would've gone straight through that" is clearly something the showrunners have also thought about. This Clark lives in a world of cardboard and physically cannot stop himself from putting his hand through it at least once a day.

There's a physicality to the way Clark takes hits that really communicates how little he feels them most of the time. Eyes open, mouth closed, immediately getting back into the fight after getting punched into a crater. This is stuff I also think about when I draw supernaturally tough characters in combat situations, and it's cool to see someone else doing it - especially since one of my very few complaints about the older DCAU is that Superman always took every hit like it was a fully incapacitating blow, which Worf'd him pretty constantly.

I also like that we have so far never seen Clark angry. We've seen him scared, flustered, disappointed - but not angry. Even in fights where he's taking serious hits, he's only motivated by wanting to protect and save people, even his opponents - he so far has never been motivated by a desire to destroy. That feels like very good writing for Superman.

It's currently a little unclear how exactly his powerset is scaling - it looks like the blue-eye-glow-and-suit-emblem thing is a legitimate powerup that lets him hit harder and recover faster than his normal baseline, but how exactly that works isn't clear yet - although that is very obviously going to be a plot point later, since they keep giving him little flashes of the story of Krypton's destruction and what shenanigans they were getting up to when it exploded.

On that note, Kryptonian tech has never looked or felt so otherworldly. I love the distorted electronic backward-voice choir they use exclusively for when Clark is on the ship. I love that hologram Jor-El can't speak English, but can clearly understand Clark - also this is the coolest Jor-El has ever looked. Some comics wax poetic about how Clark is an alien space god who only pretends to be human, but I like how this show is firmly putting Clark on the side of the audience with regards to how unsettling the "alien space god" vibes truly are. He can't understand the nature of the ship or the words of its holographic inhabitant, he's not really interested in what it means or where it came from - he just wants to know who he is, or rather who Superman should be. And I like that he concludes that Superman should be him - the heroics he was already doing, except this time on purpose. Superman should not be this spooky glowing alien god thing, even if that's the vibe we get from Krypton itself.

I like that the ship gave Superman his modern no-underpants-on-the-outside suit and Ma Kent was like "we can do better than that" and added the underpants back on.

I also like how much setup there is for future plot stuff that a DC-familiar audience can see coming. Clark hasn't used any of his vision-based powers yet, and it's possible he doesn't know they exist. No sign of Lex Luthor or Kryptonite yet, two problems we know will become more severe with time. We've already got Amanda Waller being stoically nefarious in the background. Young Hot Deathstroke is a hell of a design choice and I am Here For It.

I also appreciate how many little referential jokes are packed into the dialogue, ranging from the obvious "it's a bird it's a plane" to some hella deep pulls like Jimmy Olson's youtube channel.

And fundamentally I love how this show starts from the jump with the thesis that friendly, humble, Normal Man Clark is the real person, and Superman is the job that Clark Kent does. The title of the show is "My Adventures With Superman." The POV character is Clark. He is the "my" in that title. This is Clark's story about Superman.

I really, really hope Batman eventually shows up, because this Superman would make that hilarious.

[coffeecorporal]

To celebrate the end of Helluva Boss (season 2) (I did NOT watch the episode yet) I wanted to remind you of my redesigns and present you with some rewrites as if they are my own characters (bit of the old and new) (plz forgive me, helluva fans)

Blitzø- in MY world, he is more cold and distant (less stalky too). He’d usually speaks in a monotone like way and he DOES still crack jokes, but he doesn’t swear that much.

Growing up with his twin sister, Barbie, and his father and mother, he was never given that much attention, and when he did get it, he was seen as annoying and his voice was too loud and chippy. Fizzarolli was his only friend, but even he grew to dislike him due to what Blitz’s father would say.

Blinded by rage, Blitz would try to end Fizz’s life during the circus fire but snapped out as he heard his mother’s cries in the distance.

To this day, he still regrets what he has done, it just feels weak and pathetic to him if he apologized.

——————————————————————————

Moxxie Knolastname is rather heard headed and more tough than Canon Moxxie. Less of a pushover.

He was born to a poor mom and dad in the docks of the Greed Ring. His dad had to sell his soul to a Mafia Overlord in order to keep his family alive (Crimson is good in this one). The Overlord thought of coddled imps as weak and told Crimson if he wanted his son to keep living, then he would have to grow up and stop being a “wimp.”

As the overlord realized that it was the mom who made him like this, he did what he did to the moms and wives of all the other fathers and sons of his empire and sent her to her death. Crimson was forced to raise Moxxie around violence and greed. As Moxxie grew up, the Overlord saw him as useless and was going to dispose of him. So Crimson sent his son away to the wrath ring

Moxxie wishes he could go back to save Crimson, but if the mafia was already for him, then Crimson must’ve been long gone by now.

——————————————————————————

Millie is still the county girl with a bloodlust. She is just more yellow and the longer she’s near a bonesaw and a body, the more insane she get.

Millie grew up in the Wrath Ring with her parents and 5 siblings. Since they get injured a lot, she has to do the aid work since her parents were busy. She basically taught herself the ways of medicine through television. She even forges a doctorate in order to work at the hospital in the Sloth Ring.

After stealing a person’s skeleton out of their body, Millie was kicked out due to Medical Malpractice and she turned to the only other thing she was good at: Killing (and making new medical equipment) and she met Blitz and Moxxie in a bloody bar since she thought they were just dead bodies to experiment on.

She does occasionally go back to her medical root when needed, but other times, she’s in the background, plotting.

——————————————————————————

Information on Loona unavailable.

Yeah, that’s it.

[aspoonofsugar]

can I ask your thoughts on the direction oshi no ko has gone?

Hi!

I personally dislike it. It feels like tragedy for the sake of gloom rather than catharsis. It is an ending that de-powers everyone's arc really.

Aqua is the only one who gets a complete arc, even if negative. He has a tragic arc and fails to have a positive development. He literally dies idolizing Ruby in juxtaposition to Kamiki, who dies idolizing Ai. Narratively, it makes sense for him to die, as he kills his shadow (Kamiki), but I would argue it does not really work for the story as a whole. And that is because the overall themes and the other protagonists' character arcs are all sacrificed for this negative outcome.

Ruby does not get to solve her feelings for Sensei/Aqua and is stuck in yet another tragedy. I don't know how her arc will be solved. Probably in a bittersweet and yet positive way, but here comes the thing. I don't think it is believable psychologically speaking. Ruby grew a lot, but she is still defined by the loss of sensei and AI. Nothing in the narrative happened to make me believe she would not react very very badly to Aqua's death tbh. We'll see.

Akane failed her objective to help Aqua and repay him. As a result, her development up until this point does not get any catharsis nor resolution. It literally goes nowhere.

Kana is worse than ever. She did not get to properly convey her feelings for Aqua and she went from being the tritagonist to being a character, who quietly disappears in the background, in what is ironically an echo of her acting career.

Finally, Ai's death finds no thematic resolution and her two final wishes are not fulfilled. Not only her children do not manage to save Hikaru, but one of them even dies himself.

All in all it feels like the story set up a plot with specific roles for each character to fulfill and then decided not to have them fulfill them for the sake of drama, rather than theme. I also personally disliked we spent so much time in Aqua's head as he arrived about a self-realization about his identity and that the climax was all about it... That was never truly the point of his character nor the series. The focus of the story isn't if Aqua and Ruby are Aqua and Ruby or Goro and Sarina. The point is that they get a second chance at living, so they can solve their complexes. Aqua even lampshades this, before the climax.

Now, I like well written tragedies, but I don't think the series is written as a tragedy really. The structure sets up positive arcs until the end of the movie arc, where you can see the author started changing the order of things, so that it could end in tragedy. So, there was the fake good ending, which was positive, but very weak. And then, there was a twist, so that a more powerful, but negative ending could be delivered. Except, I would have preferred the positive ending with the struggle of the tragic one :''') Especially because I really think it would have been the most powerful one possible for this series.

Anyway, there are still a couple of chapters left, I think. So, we will see the denouement. That said, I think the series lost its power in the final arc, which is a pity cause up until that point it was excellent. Like, the Dark Ruby's arc is one of my favorite arcs ever. I reread it some weeks ago and I cried a lot. That is the kind of power I was expecting in the finale, but instead we got a theme attached on the story at the last minute and a forced twist. It isn't one of the worst ending ever (especially if you read the series and the chapters all together probably), but it is definitely below the level of writing this story had. These are just my two cents of course :)

[bonefall]

The new arc’s first blurb came, and seems to be about Tawnypelt, Leafstar, and some random apprentice molly named Moonpaw btw. Can’t wait to see how awful that turns out.

I'm going to go in with low expectations this time around. Admittedly, I'm not fond of the idea of following cats who I feel have massively overstayed their welcome. Leafstar should have been dead a long time ago, and Tawnypelt has been active for 20 years of arcs plus a novella.

When I say "I'd like characters from previous arcs to continue their stories" I don't mean that I want popular old cats to get forced into the spotlight constantly. I mean that I want interesting background characters like Icewing, Fringewhisker, or Breezepelt to get expanded upon with full POVs. It's a bummer that the Erins seem so bad at building up new characters that they're still relying on cats from Arc 1.

But, hey, maybe this will surprise me.

Moonpaw though... Moonpaw I've got my eye on. I'm listening. I'm paying attention. TBC and ASC had a "formula" for the three POV characters; Boy/Girl/The Horrors. It's not lost on me that Changing Skies seems to have dropped the Boy and the Girl, but kept The Horrors. I hope this signals that they listened to the positive feedback on Shadowsight and Frostpaw.

Other assorted thoughts;

I'm not even going to pretend to be kind to this; ANOTHER construction plot is just bad.

They're boring. I do not want another whingefest about how it's wrong and bad and mean to hurt humans for some reason.

Bone "Speckletail's Bulldozer" Fall: these darn cats better attack a bulldozer or I'm out

And goddddd why are we having ANOTHER "StarClan's really gonna be gone this time!" Plot. This is the third in a row.

I was already on board with it the first time. Burn the heavens down or shut up at this point.

Plus... it seems like a lot of this arc is going to be based around Tawnypelt trying to argue with people to get the plot to happen, Moonpaw warning everyone the plot is going to happen while they don't listen to her, and Leafstar acting in whatever way will be most annoying for the plot to not happen.

I cannot stress enough how much I dread this. I am so sick of buying books to hear about characters doing everything in their power to accomplish as little as possible. I can call my congressman for FREE.

Moonpaw though. I love her name. I hope that she has a strong personality to help her stand out from Frost and Shadow.

I'm hoping that she's more on the rough side than the sensitive side, tbh. Something I enjoy about Nightheart is that he CAUSES shit to happen because he's impulsive.

My ideal scenario for this arc is Leafstar trying to keep Tawnypelt and Moonpaw on two leashes and absolutely failing. PLEASE let my girls break stuff.

I hope that Leafstar dies in this arc. I'll be kinda sad if she's the first leader voted out, but she NEEDS to stop leading. So I hope it's a good death.

And God please I hope they keep the stupidity pills away from her. She has been at her worst in ASC.

IN A NUTSHELL; On paper, this seems like a middling idea for an arc at best. My expectations are low, but I'm hoping they surprise me.

[spaceorphan18]

THE LADY WHISTLEDOWN PAPERS : 1X01 - A DIAMOND OF THE FIRST WATER (PART 4)

Hi! Welcome back to The Lady Whistledown Papers, where I’m taking an in-depth look at Penelope Featherington and Colin Bridgerton’s character arcs and romance within the show Bridgerton!

For previous issues, follow tag : The Lady Whistledown Papers

Alright, finally wrapping up the first episode but it ends with some really good stuff!

Dinner

I'm kind of amused that I've managed to ignore the main Simon/Daphne plot as long as I've could... But here we are at a Bridgerton family dinner where we get to see the family dynamics on brilliant display as Violet arranged all of this so Simon and Daphne could hang out.

Fascinatingly, the first subject of talk is the identity of Lady Whistledown, and it's a fun little conversation as they start guessing who it could possibly be. Colin, hilariously, suggests it could be a man -- only to rightfully be shotdown by Eloise because how dare he. Colin isn't even going to know who Lady Whistledown is when he's sleeping with her, so boy really does not have the highest of deduction skills.

Hyacinth, of all people, will get the closest when she guesses Lady Featherington. It's amusing that she's consistently used as a sort of prophet. I'm looking forward to seeing what kind of role she plays throughout the show.

Most of this scene is dedicated to Simon and Daphne... falling in love? idk. What I do like about it, though is something I enjoy in general about Bridgerton as a whole -- the fact that it does rather well with sibling dynamics. There are a lot of personalities at that table, and it's kind of cool to see how they can be all similar and all different at the same time.

Colin remains chatting and laughing with Benedict. We don't really get enough of a conversation to be able to really comment but, it does look like they're having a great conversation. We don't get a whole lot of reaction from Colin as to the whole Simon/Daphne thing so -- I don't really have much to say on that front either, but it'll be interesting tracking it through the season.

Dance

I never noticed they are in a boat -- so... this is on an island? What is even going on? What ball is this again? Do I really need to watch ALL of Season 1 for this project?

You know, we don't get a ton of Colin and Benedict stuff throughout the years, but they often are having fun in the background while Anthony is brooding up front.

Alright, so, LET'S GET INTO MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF THE EPISODE!

I really should have gone back and watched the previous scenes to figure out where exactly they are but I didn't, ah well. It looks like more like a festival of sorts more than a ball, which I think is pretty cool because the actual ballrooms start to feel the same after awhile.

Anyway... we have Pen just kind of standing by herself looking lonely. Interestingly, she does look like she's looking for someone? But she says she wasn't expecting him, so I wonder if she's just glancing around in Lady Whistledown mode?

The way she jumps and immediately lights up when she sees him. She's shocked to see him, but so delighted that he has sought her out. And it's interesting to note that he goes looking for her first thing -- granted it's for information -- but still he does seek her out at every social gathering. ;) No, but this is important. In both their interactions now, he has come to her. She may be the one with the crush, but she's not following him around like a love-sick puppy.

I should have mentioned it before, but in both instances he has called her 'Pen'. Not Miss Featherington (Which would have been appropriate) not Penelope. Just Pen. It speaks to their level of familiarity and established relationship. It also isn't appropriate for an unmarried man and woman of no relation to call each other by their first names, let alone a nickname. Episode 1 and they're already breaking rules.

It's the same with the little bow they give each other. It's such an after thought, such a -- oh right, we're outside and have to adhere to society rules where men and women greet each other in a certain way, but they do so halfheartedly. They don't really care about what society wants when they're around each other.

Penelope exclaims that she didn't know he'd be there (an interesting comment - I wonder why not) and then he says 'sorry to disappoint'. And that's a telling comment. It's self deprecating humor. He's not used to anyone wanting or needing him around and/or preferring Anthony or Benedict instead. But also, he (probably) assumes that she'd probably prefer Eloise to join her over him.

But her lighting up when she sees him doesn't really go unnoticed -- subconsciously anyway. It's infectious when you have someone who is genuinely excited to see you -- especially when you're used to being the one that is not being sought after. And he is genuinely happy to see her, too -- even if he's asking about Marina, he still has a warm smile for her. They both latch on to the genuine affection they have for the other one.

Colin asks about Marina, and the way Pen's face just falls when he does so. :( She realizes that he had an ulterior motive when coming to speak to her, and that guts her a little. (as a note - it's implied a little earlier in the episode that Marina is pregnant. It's not officially said - but they get into it more in episode 2. Obviously, that's important to this plot...)

Pen explains that Marina's illness is why Portia isn't around and why Lord Featherington is chaperoning. Colin grins at this -- I can only imagine how hilarious he finds it that Lord Featherington has to be (semi-)involved in his daughters' lives. I haven't really spoken much about him yet, but at best, you could claim that Lord Featherington was a neglectful father. He doesn't really interact with any of his daughters, nor does he seem to care all that much. I have to imagine that Colin, at least a little bit understands this, hence it's so amusing that he's there now.

Pen then is excited to show off her dress. It's not yellow! It's still a girlish pink with hints of blue (foreshadowing through clothes? maybe?). She still looks like a child a bit, but she doesn't stand out so much. She can blend in a bit more, and not feel as if everyone is making fun of her for her clothes.

In a way, the 'not yellow enough' comment was a little self deprecating, too. As the two of them have that in common -- that they both feel unseen and unwanted in society.

She's also trying to get his attention -- trying to get him to check her out. It's awkward and cute and I love how excited she is in her attempt. The thing is, he does notice! We don't really see his reaction to her comment -- but if you look you can tell that he is grinning back at her as they talk.

And then Cressida comes along and spoils their moment. So. Here's the thing I've noticed already about Cressida. Lady Featherington and Lady Cowper are friends. Sorta. They mean girl together. And as we learn in season 3, Lady Cowper has instilled this kind of ruthlessness into Cressida as a way of survival.

I also wonder -- did Cressida spend time with the Featherington girls? It's interesting that Lady Cowper is always around, but we don't see Cressida at the house. I wonder where she is and what she's doing. I will say -- I don't think Cressida is friends at all with Prudence or Phillipa. All three aren't very nice -- but Cressida is much shaper and pointed with her unkindness, while Prudence and Phillipa are just kind of dumb. And I can see Cressida poking fun at them as much as she does with Penelope.

Here's the thing. I want to joke how ridiculous it is that no one seems to notice that Pen is deeply pining for Colin. She is so open about her feelings but the thing is, no one really seems to notice her and that's why no one ever calls her out on it.

Except, I like to believe that Cressida does.

There's no real reason for Cressida to interject herself into their conversation other than she wants to be mean for the sake of it. I don't think she has any real interest in Colin other than his name and the fact that dancing with him would put a mark on her dance card.

Pen interjects on Cressida's attempt and that's when Cressida's claws come out. Cressida's mother (as we'll learn) has taught her to see any other woman as a form of competition. Pen was making a comment because she and Colin are friends and in a way already more than friends. They have a solid, established relationship. Cressida is looking at Colin as a way to achieve a goal. And Pen is getting in the way of that.

So Cressida does what she has been taught and tries to eliminate any kind of competition. And some of it is trashing on someone the ton already trashes on but it's also digging the knife in a little deeper, because I do think Cressida knows that Pen isn't just talking to some guy at a party, she's talking to a guy she likes and has feelings for.

Cressida probably over heard her, too, that Penelope was happy about her dress choice. So what does she do? Dump water (?) over the front of her dress. Not only was Penelope having a moment of confidence but Cressida's cruelty takes that away as she embarrasses Pen. But also she claims to not have not even seen Penelope there. Obviously she did, but it adds to the fact that Pen is often seen as wallpaper, nothing to really take note of.

Colin's face during all of this though! Because here's the thing. Here's the THING and why I love Colin. He probably wouldn't have really entertained Cressida as a dance partner unless he had to. That's... a whole other thing. But the minute she started cutting in front of Pen. The minute she pulls this stunt on his very good friend, it's over.

Cruelty is not part of Colin's nature, and seeing other people mean is an automatic turn off for him. But more than that, Cressida just trashed someone he does care about, and that is unacceptable. Look how hard his face is in this moment - he's pissed off at her for what she did.

And then just look at the way his face softens as he turns his attention to Pen. It's caring and gentle and he's looking out for her right from the beginning!

But I mean, also, what he does is so calculated and is such a badass moment. He beats Cressida at her own game. Not only does he completely deny her a dance, he decides that Penelope is the more worthy choice and snatches her up (as a mess as she is at the moment). He doesn't spare Cressida a second look. He'd dance with Penelope anyway, he doesn't need an excuse, but to play society's games as a way to punch back at Cressida for being mean to Pen -- is just so ballsy. He may not be a huge fan of the rules, but he knows how to play them and when it matters.

I also should note that Colin has a sort of hero complex, too, that comes into play. He likes to be the one to help people, to save people, and what he's doing is saving Pen from humiliation. He does genuinely care for her. But he also won't let someone be trashed because for the sake of it.

And I mean... we should take note of this moment -- because it's going to haunt Cressida for a long, long time. You just fucked with Lady Whistledown in front of her husband, Cressida. Your days are numbered.

And, I mean, look at the utter shock on Pen's face as he reaches for her hand. His kindness is why she loves him, and this just adds another moment to that pile. No one else really looks out for her. No one else really sees her. No one else would really stand up to Cressida and put her first. It's no wonder she's gone for him.

But then here's the thing. As we get our fun, little Irish jig started, Colin just looks delighted as they get to the dance floor. Cressida is all but forgotten as the two of them settle into their dance together. Pen is still shaken a bit as they start, but Colin has no qualms about what he had just done. In fact, he's proud of himself. But more so -- now he and Pen can just have fun -- as they always do.

This is not the first time they've danced together (as will be alluded to in the next episode). They probably danced a bit and enjoyed themselves, and as Pen settles into it, they both just have fun together.

And the jig is something to notice as dance is important in this show. It's fun and lively but it's also still a little childish, a game. It's not serious courtship, not yet, but it's enjoyment and playfulness but it's purposeful! As this level of caring and understanding and joy are the basis for their friendship and therefore the basis of their eventual relationship.

I mean just look at these idiots not knowing that they're really falling in love with each other.

I love everything about this scene so much!!

Okay, I have to close out on this shot of Pen. Because this is important. As Simon and Daphne come in with their little scheme to fake dating, Penelope is watching. And in fact, if you notice (Nicola Coughlan confirmed it) Pen is always just right there, noticing the action that's going on. And therefore Lady Whistledown is right there.

In this shot its obvious that it's her, but I'll be keeping an eye out because she does this a lot if you're looking for her. She's almost like a Where's Waldo cartoon!!

And that's finally Episode 1!! Whoo we made it! :)

[seishiroses]

OH NO IT'S TOO PRETTY HELP ME 😭😭😭

Some thoughts on the drawing:

Compared to Nagi's early design back when he was just introduced as a character, the glow up has been serious, and a lot has to do with changes slowly introduced into his hair shape and length. Like the little curls here are so ✨👌🏻 (I liked him just as much when he was a pure creature too. But it's been great to learn that he can do both.)

Fangirling aside, I think when it comes to a certain level of detail, drawing white hair can be hard. Messy white hair, even harder. And a hand in messy white hair that curls slightly at the ends but not too much is just asking for pain (in my opinion).

I believe you'd have to make calculated decisions to convey the idea of the hair being messy while also looking aesthetically pleasing while also making sure the way the fingers are interacting with the hair looks correct and adds to the aesthetic appeal/hotness quotient/thirst trap/whatever you want to call it (since the beginning of manga time, manga characters running their hands through their own hair while looking anywhere with those eyes has never had a single f*king thing to do with the plot).

However, what makes things hard is that this is white hair on white background, so leaving it as a solid block of colour with no detail (as you would be able to do with black/dark hair) might just make it look unfinished. So you'd have to pay attention to all the little strokes inside, and light it up with subtle shading in the right places.

And then there is the hand. I don't even want to talk about how hard it is to draw hands, let alone hands going through hair like this which can bend and twist in all sorts of ways.

The artist juggles all of this with striking detail that is clean but not too clean to give you a pretty but also impactful panel without compromising on basic character traits (lazy dude with bed hair, but now he's fired up, gone are the dead eyes, etc.)

I know this is all probably second nature for a seasoned manga artist like Sannomiya Kōta, who has also been drawing this same character consistently for two years now, but as a humble hobby artist in the closet, and someone who got into the blue lock manga mainly because of the artwork, I can't help but appreciate it. ❤️

[ayrtonswnna]

helloo, author-chan! Me again hehe 😊😊

I love how you did my request abt Franco x Senna!reader. I really do, it really shows Ayrton's child-ish character (all thanks to the lord and savior, Gerhard Berger) Hehe.

Anyways, I wanna do another request.

It's for Ayrton himself, but the reader is his childhood friend who's goodbyes from him were like a form of betrayal for her accord and cut ties with him for good when she founds out he got married (which i think you know that his wife and him got divorced but then dated gfs here and there, you'll get my point). UNTIL, she was invited to the paddock in one of the races and she doesn't know he was a F1 driver.

Your plot is your own free will but make it STRAIGHT ANGST to Forgiving at the end, that is if you can ofc. No pressure 😊😊.

Good Luck, Author-chan 😘

ʚɞ a/n: more ayrton content yessss!!!! hey sweetheart, thank you very much!!!!! i am sorry for taking so long to finish your request, but here it is!!

i tried my best to embody your request (and take the challenge) and keep as much as i could of your ideas, added a lot for context and got a bit carried away, but i think it turned out great.

i'm head over heels for angst so here it is!!! hope you like it and thank you for your support!!!!

⠀⠀⠀⠀A LONG TIME COMING 〃 ayrton senna oneshot

ʚɞ ayrton senna x maria de oliveira. (female!oc)

ayrton sees his past right in front of him. a lot has changed.

warnings: ANGST. A LOT OF IT. story takes place in the late 80s/early 90s, it's up to you, author opened wikepedia and chose the first old man in power to be the villain, description of an abusive relationship, character physically and mentally hurt, ayrton saves the day, mention of non-active character death, author in need of therapy (she's picturing dead man as a savior)

Ayrton recognized her the moment he saw her. It wasn’t just her face—it was the memories she brought with her. Childhood afternoons spent running through São Paulo streets, teenage years filled with laughter and long conversations. All of it came rushing back in a heartbeat.

But she had changed.

The tight coils her mother used to braid into intricate hairstyles were now softer curls, looser and more subdued—maybe she straightened her hair sometimes. Gone were the colorful clothes and wide, carefree smiles. In their place were sharp heels, a tailored blazer, and muted tones. It was strange, seeing someone so familiar and yet so different. Could a person change so much and still remain the same?

"Do you know her?"

The question jolted Ayrton from his thoughts. The voice belonged to Jo Ramirez, McLaren’s team coordinator, who was sitting beside him and following his line of sight.

"Who?" Ayrton asked, though he already knew.

"Maria. My girlfriend."

The word hit him like a slap. Girlfriend?

"I—uh—yeah," Ayrton stammered, struggling to keep his tone casual. "Her mom’s Brazilian. Friends with my family. Something like that."

He hesitated before adding, "Isn’t she much younger? Like... twenty-five?"

Twenty-five. Ayrton knew her exact age, knew she’d turn twenty-six on November 3rd. He remembered everything. Her mom from Rio de Janeiro, her dad from England. Their parents’ business ties that had brought them together so often they practically grew up as siblings—until they weren’t anymore.

Until he left.

Jo chuckled, clearly finding the question amusing. "Yeah, something like that. But what’s it to you?"

Ayrton’s lips pressed into a thin line. Jo Ramirez was fifty. Fifty years old. Ayrton thought he knew Maria better than this, thought she’d never go down that road. A man twice her age, with a background so different from hers.

"I mean," Ayrton pressed, "she’s young enough to be your daughter. Don’t you... don’t you find it weird?"

Jo smirked, leaning back in his chair. "No, not at all. That’s the beauty of it. I can put her in her place. However I want to."

The words set off alarm bells in Ayrton’s head, a sinking feeling twisting in his gut. His face must have given him away because Jo laughed, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Relax, man. It’s not what you think. She’s not a kid. And besides," Jo added, his tone turning smug, "you don’t know her anymore. People change."

Ayrton’s gaze shifted back to Maria, standing at the edge of the garage, her expression unreadable. She seemed lost in her own thoughts, her body tense like she didn’t belong there.

Jo’s next words were like knives.

"These girls, man... they’re like having a personal doll. A private paradise. You do what you want, whenever you want. She doesn’t even complain anymore."

Ayrton snapped his head toward him. "What the fuck, Jo? Are you—are you hearing yourself? What the fuck are you even saying?"

Jo just laughed again, as if Ayrton’s reaction was a joke. "Chill out, mate. It’s my girlfriend. None of your business."

But Ayrton couldn’t shake the sick feeling in his stomach. His gaze flicked back to Maria, and for a fleeting moment, their eyes met.

Ayrton’s mind raced, trying to process Jo’s callous words. The jovial tone, the dismissive attitude — it all felt too wrong. He couldn't believe that the Maria he once knew, the vibrant and spirited girl who used to run through the streets of São Paulo with him, could be subjected to this kind of treatment.

The words "personal doll" and "private paradise" echoed in his head, making his stomach churn. They didn’t fit with the Maria he remembered. His Maria, full of life and laughter, had been an equal, not someone who could be reduced to such an object.

“I guess you’re right,” Ayrton said, forcing a casual tone, even as every fiber of his being screamed in protest. “People change.”

Jo laughed again, patting Ayrton on the shoulder. “Exactly. Don’t worry about it.”

As soon as Jo turned his attention elsewhere, Ayrton’s eyes found Maria’s once more. She was standing at the edge of the garage, her body tense, her eyes distant. The sight of her made his heart ache. What had happened to her?

Maria had always been so alive, so full of personality. This version of her seemed almost foreign, like a ghost of the woman he used to know.

It wasn’t just the physical changes. Sure, she had grown into herself, but it was more than that. It was in the way she moved, the way her eyes shifted, constantly looking around, searching for something or someone. She was no longer the carefree girl from their shared past.

Maria hadn’t come to the paddock for him, not really. She was here because of Jo, and she had no intention of rekindling old memories. Her posture was stiff, her eyes flicking nervously, never settling. Ayrton felt the weight of that discomfort in his chest. This wasn’t how he imagined seeing her again.

"An elder?" Jo’s voice broke through Ayrton’s thoughts, pulling him back to the moment. The tone was playful, but there was something off about it. He squeezed Maria's side, just like he had when they were teenagers, poking into her space with a familiarity that made Ayrton uncomfortable. "C’mon, Mariazinha, you’re better than that! I can't believe I'm seeing you again. What happened to your hair? You’ve changed so much!"

Maria’s eyes darkened, and her response was cold, detached. "Grew old, I guess."

Ayrton took a small step back, unsure of how to continue. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. There should have been more. More warmth, more recognition of the bond they once shared. But instead, there was this distance, this wall.

"Yes, could be it," Ayrton murmured. "How are you? How’s mamãe?" He used the term of endearment without thinking, but immediately regretted it. The word felt too intimate for the way things had turned out.

"Watching from above," Maria answered softly, her voice thick with an emotion Ayrton couldn’t place. She took a step away from him, eyes darting around as if looking for Jo.

Ayrton felt a pang of guilt. "I am so sorry," he said, reaching out to her but pulling back when he saw the way she flinched. "Was it... Was it recent? I passed by your house just last week."

Her eyes were cold now, and it stung. "Seven years ago."

Ayrton’s heart sank. He had missed so much. And Maria had been forced to pick up the pieces of a life that he had left behind.

"So, dad?" Ayrton asked, trying to change the subject, his mind reeling. "Bet you’re in England more these days, with Jo and everything."

Maria nodded, but her expression didn’t soften. "Yeah, I guess."

Ayrton noticed the tension in her shoulders, the way she couldn’t quite meet his eyes. There was something in the air between them, something thick and unresolved. "It’s weird, though," he said, trying to ease the situation. "I would’ve never guessed you’d grow into such a quiet adult. You were always so... vocal."

Maria's lips twitched. "I guess life has a way of changing things."

Her words stung, and Ayrton knew they were aimed at him. He had left her. He had walked away without a second thought. And now, all these years later, he was standing in front of a woman who had learned to live without him.

"You found a wife and left," she said, her voice tinged with bitterness. "It’s not like you stayed to know what I’d grow into."

Ayrton winced, his own guilt rising up to choke him. "Yeah, I... I deserve that." He ran a hand through his hair. "I made mistakes. But I’m really happy to see you again. Maybe we could catch up, catch up like old times?"

Maria didn't respond immediately, her gaze flicking toward Jo in the distance. She seemed to hesitate before shaking her head. "I don’t think so. You can’t just leave and come back when you feel like it. This is not how it works. I put my life together without you, and I don’t want to go through that again. It’s already too—" She paused, her throat tightening.

"Too what?" Ayrton pressed, his heart racing. "You put your life together with a fifty-year-old man who talks about you like you're a piece of meat? I don’t understand. I don’t think I’m the complicated part in this."

Maria stepped closer to him, her face flushed with frustration. "Aren’t you also fucking young blond women all around? Why is my life suddenly your business? Jo was here for me when you turned your back on me. I don’t care how he talks, or how complicated it is. He was the one who showed up for me when you didn’t."

Ayrton stood there, his mind racing, but all he could focus on was the bruise on her neck. It was dark, swollen, and fresh. Something inside him snapped.

"Maria... What the fuck?" He reached out to touch her, his hand trembling as he took in the full extent of the mark. "Is this ok? What the hell happened?"

Maria flinched as his fingers brushed the bruise, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she tried to cover it up, pulling her blazer back in place and stepping further away from him.

"I’m fine, stop acting like you care," she said, trying to sound convincing. But it didn’t fool Ayrton.

He couldn’t just stand there and pretend everything was fine. He wasn’t blind to what was happening. He wasn’t going to let this go.

But before he could say anything else, Jo appeared, his voice dripping with possessiveness. "Maria, my love. Looks like you’re catching up with your old friend, huh? I bet he wasn’t all that when you met."

Maria didn’t even look at him as she pulled away, muttering a quiet goodbye. "I’m going back to the hotel, alright? Meet me there, baby."

Jo gave a lazy wave, clearly disinterested, before turning his focus back on Ayrton. "Don’t you dare try anything between me and my girlfriend. You’re my driver, and I call the shots. It’s best you keep your distance from her."

Ayrton didn’t say anything. There was no point. Jo had made his stance clear. He just nodded, but inside, his mind was on Maria and the danger she was in.

"Copy."

It's not like anyone is in control of the situation. It's not like Ayrton could just close his eyes and get to sleep. It's past ten, and there’s no sign of sleep.

Facing Maria after so many years brought a scary amount of new things to the table. Things he thought he had buried as time passed and could live with that way.

But no. Just like his first year alone in the UK, right after Lilian, his wife at the time, dropped him saying she couldn’t keep up with this whole career thing. Just like when he caught himself thinking about how things would have been so different with Maria.

They had history, a background. High school lovebirds and childhood inseparable duo.

Ayrton remembered their weekends together, the ones when she was not traveling to her dad's house. The way she was so bad at speaking Portuguese and would always ask him for translations once he learned English. They took classes together throughout their whole childhood. They used to do everything together.

Karting, beach days, countryside days, summer travels. Birds of a feather, inseparable duo. All the shared birthday parties, the shared beds, breakfasts, school rides. High school years, teenage experiences.

It all seems to come back now. The best and the worst.

Because now Maria is hurt. Physically hurt, probably emotionally too. The sweetest girl he once knew is now hidden in layers of clothing and sharp answers.

It's impossible not to think about the what-ifs.

What if he never left her? What if he had proposed she move to the UK with him and not Lilian? She had a family there, maybe it would have worked out. What if he didn’t kiss her in his parent's backyard for one last time?

These are the type of things that keep men up at night, awake enough to go down to the hotel lobby to maybe get some tea and tire themselves out before sleeping.

As Ayrton descended to the hotel lobby, the dim lighting and soft hum of quiet conversations brought a strange sense of calm. He wasn’t expecting anyone to be there, let alone her.

But there she was, sitting on a leather armchair near the bar, staring at a half-empty glass of wine like it held all the answers to her life.

His feet moved before his brain could stop him. "Maria?"

She startled slightly, her eyes snapping up to meet his. For a second, Ayrton saw the girl he used to know—soft, wide-eyed, and vulnerable. But it disappeared as quickly as it came, replaced by the guarded, distant woman she had become.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice low and tired.

"Couldn’t sleep," he admitted, sliding into the armchair beside her. "And you?"

She scoffed, swirling the wine in her glass. "Guess I couldn’t either."

The silence between them felt heavy, weighed down by years of unresolved feelings and the awkwardness of their earlier conversation. Ayrton couldn’t help but notice how she sat, her posture tense, as if ready to bolt at the first sign of trouble.

"Maria," he started softly, leaning forward, "I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me."

She froze, her fingers tightening around the glass.

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn’t I be?"

"Coming from what I saw earlier..." he said carefully, his eyes never leaving hers. "And the way you flinched when I tried to touch you. Maria, you don’t have to pretend with me."

Her lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, she looked away, her gaze fixed on the floor. "It’s not what you think."

"It’s exactly what I think," Ayrton said, his tone firm but not unkind. "I’ve known you my whole life, Maria. You don’t have to say it, but I see it. And I know you don’t deserve it."

She laughed bitterly, shaking her head. "What do you know about what I deserve, Ayrton? You left. You walked away like I was nothing. You don’t get to come back now and act like you care."

"I never stopped caring," he said, his voice breaking slightly. "I was stupid, Maria. I made mistakes. But I swear to you, if I’d known—"

"You didn’t," she interrupted, her tone sharp. "You didn’t know because you didn’t stay."

He fell silent, his guilt weighing heavily on him. She had every right to be angry, and he had no defense. But he couldn’t walk away from her again, not now.

"Let me fix it," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. "Whatever it takes, Maria. Just let me help you."

She looked at him then, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "There's nothing to fix, Ayrton. You can’t undo what’s already been done."

"Maybe not," he admitted, "but I can give you a way out. You don’t have to stay with him. You don’t have to live like this."

Maria swallowed hard, her hands trembling as she set the glass down. "It’s not how it works, Ayrton, this is not-"

"It is," Ayrton insisted. "You just have to trust me."

A few days later, the team had planned an evening out—a casual dinner to celebrate a successful race weekend. Maria had reluctantly agreed to join, knowing Jo would insist on her presence. Ayrton was there too, his eyes never straying far from her.

Throughout the evening, Jo’s behavior was increasingly abrasive. He held her arm tightly when guiding her to their table, his fingers digging into her skin. He interrupted her when she spoke, belittling her opinions with condescending remarks. Ayrton watched it all, his jaw tightening with every interaction.

The breaking point came when Jo grabbed her wrist in the middle of a conversation, yanking her back toward him. "Stop wandering off," he snapped, his tone low but menacing.

Maria winced, her free hand instinctively moving to cover her wrist. That's not much of him—acting that way where everyone could see it. "Jo," she said evenly, her voice trying to stay calm but laced with a tiny sign of desperation. "Not now."

Promptly, her eyes darted to Ayrton, as if something inside knew he'd be looking. And there he was.

The thing is, Maria isn't the only one who noticed that.

Jo smirked, releasing her as if nothing had happened. "Relax, Ayrton. She’s fine."

But Ayrton wasn’t fooled. His eyes locked with Maria’s, silently communicating what words couldn’t. Later, when the group began to disperse, he caught her arm gently, steering her toward a quiet corner of the parking lot.

"You don’t have to go back with him," he said, his voice urgent. "Get in my car. I’ll take you somewhere safe."

She hesitated, her eyes darting around as if expecting Jo to appear out of nowhere. "I can’t just leave. He’ll—"

"I don’t care what he’ll do," Ayrton interrupted. "You’re not staying with him another night, Maria. I won’t let you."

Her lips trembled, tears spilling over as she whispered, "It's not like... It's not like I can just leave."

"It is," Ayrton said, his voice softening. He cupped her face gently, his thumbs brushing away her tears. "But you’re not alone. I’m here, Maria. I’ve got you."

For a moment, she just stared at him, the weight of her fear and pain threatening to consume her. But then she nodded, a small, shaky movement that sealed her decision.

"Okay," she whispered.

Without another word, Ayrton led her to his car, opening the passenger door for her. As they drove away, the city lights fading behind them, Maria felt a strange sense of relief. For the first time in years, she wasn’t running away—she was being saved.

The sound of the sea outside Ayrton’s beach house was a gentle hum, blending seamlessly with the rhythmic clink of a knife against a cutting board. Maria sat across from him in the kitchen, chopping fruit for a simple breakfast. Ayrton, leaning casually against the counter, pretended to be busy with a task, though his eyes kept drifting to her.

There’s no race this weekend, and he felt like they could use a break. She would never deny a good beach weekend, and it only took a flight.

"This is just like old times," she said softly, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Except now, you’re actually helping instead of sneaking bites every five minutes."

He grinned, playfully snatching a slice of mango from her plate. "Old habits die hard, don’t they?"

She swatted his hand away, laughing lightly, and for a moment, the heaviness that had lingered between them since that night at the hotel seemed to lift.

"So," he started, his tone deliberately casual, "how did you end up in... all of this? I mean, I know about your mom, but... Jo?"

Her smile faltered, and she set the knife down, her fingers idly tracing the edge of the cutting board. "I left Brazil not long after she passed. It was... too much. The house felt empty, and São Paulo didn’t feel like home anymore. I thought a fresh start would help. Then I moved in with Dad, in London."

Ayrton nodded, his expression softening. "Makes sense. You wanted to escape the memories."

Of course! Here's the complete passage, maintaining the original dialogues:

She looked up at him, her eyes glassy but steady. “Exactly. But I didn’t realize that running away wouldn’t fix anything. Jo came into my life when I was at my weakest. He knew what to say, how to act... At first, it felt like he was saving me. I didn’t see it for what it was until it was too late.”

His jaw tightened, and his hands clenched the edge of the counter. “You deserved so much more than that, Maria.”

She offered a sad smile. “I thought I did too. But by the time I realized who he really was, I didn’t know how to get out.”

There was a long pause, filled only by the distant crash of waves. Ayrton walked around the counter and sat beside her, his shoulder brushing hers. “You don’t have to go through that again,” he said quietly. “Not ever.”

Maria looked at him, her eyes searching his face. “You’ve always been like this, haven’t you? Saying just the right thing to make me feel... safe.”

He smirked, leaning in slightly. “It’s a gift. Though I recall you used to say I talked too much.”

She laughed, a genuine sound that made his chest tighten, in the best of ways. “You did. You still do.”

Their laughter faded, leaving a charged silence between them. Ayrton’s hand was on the table, so close to hers that their fingers nearly touched. For a fleeting moment, he thought about closing the gap, about leaning in, about finally—

Maria shifted, clearing her throat and breaking the spell. “We should finish this before the fruit turns to mush.”

Ayrton exhaled sharply, a mix of frustration and amusement. “Right. Breakfast. Very important.”

Later, the sun was dipping low over the horizon when they found themselves on the beach. Maria walked ahead of him, her bare feet sinking into the sand, until she reached the water’s edge. She sat where the waves kissed the shore, her knees pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped around them.

Ayrton stopped a few paces behind her, watching. She always used to do this — sit right where the ocean seemed to meet her. She used to say it made her feel small, but in a good way. Like her problems couldn’t possibly be bigger than the vast sea stretching out before her.

“You’re still doing that,” he said as he sat down beside her.

She glanced at him, her hair tousled by the breeze. “Doing what?”

“Sitting here like this. You’ve always loved the water.”

Maria shrugged, a small smile playing on her lips. “Some things don’t change, I guess.”

They sat in silence for a moment, the sound of the waves filling the space between them. Ayrton shifted closer, his shoulder brushing hers.

“You know,” he began, his voice low and steady, “I wasn’t there for you when I should’ve been. But I swear, Maria, I won’t let anything like Jo happen again. Not as long as I’m around.”

She turned to him, her eyes wide and shining with something he couldn’t quite name. “Ayrton...”

He reached up, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. The gesture was so simple, so natural, that it felt like slipping back into something they’d never really left behind. Slowly, he leaned in, their foreheads almost touching.

This time, Maria didn’t pull away. Their lips met in a kiss that was soft, hesitant, yet filled with unspoken promises. When they parted, Ayrton rested his forehead against hers, his hand still lingering near her face.

“Things can change,” he murmured. “We can change.”

Maria smiled, the first real, unguarded smile he’d seen from her in years. “Maybe they can.”

They stayed there, the waves crashing softly around them, as the sun sank below the horizon, painting the sky with hues of orange and pink.

ʚïɞ check my masterlist 〃 drop a request 〃 featuring ayrton! ʚïɞ ayrtonswnna, 2025

[level2janitor]

how to run an OSR game

a while back i made this post to help people who were interested in OSR games but didn't know where to start, explaining the general design philosophy and going over a bunch of different OSR rulesets you can run a game with. so this is a follow-up post about how to actually run these (especially bc not all of them have much actual GM guidance)

note this is a highly opinionated post and some people from the more meatgrinder-y end of the OSR might take issue with this. but this is advice that works extremely well for my games.

how to prep situations and not plots

this is good advice for most games but OSR especially because OSR gameplay is so driven by player scheming: don't ever include "and then the players will..." in your prep, because you do not know what the players will do.

if your prepped scenario hinges on the players taking a specific action or the whole thing falls apart, you're digging your own grave as the GM. trying to account for every action the players can take is a trap, because players are creative and clever and their options are only limited by their ideas. that's the game.

so "prep situations, not plots" has become popular advice in TTRPG communities, especially OSR circles. but how do you actually do that

the most important elements of prep you want to figure out are:

what do all the NPCs involved in this scenario want? what social levers (wants, fears, habits, allegiances, guilty pleasures, relationships) do they have that the players can pull?

what will happen if the PCs never interfere? what conflicts and schemes are brewing in the background?

what locations are there to explore? who and what is inside them, what dangers and treasures are inside?

the best prep is stuff you can't improvise, or stuff that's unsatisfying when improvised. you should probably know monster stats ahead of time, know the layout of dungeons, that sort of thing. elements relevant to challenging the players are important to prep.

stop rolling for everything

coming from nearly any other TTRPG to an OSR game, your instinct when a player says "i want to do X" is "okay, make an X roll" through a skill system or a pbta move or something.

if you do this in an OSR game, you run into problems.

player characters aren't very strong. they have single-digit hit points, few if any class abilities, and whether they're carrying a crowbar, a grappling hook, a lantern, etc. is as impactful as their choice of class.

this is because the game is about using your head more than using your character sheet - the sheet just lists tools to apply your creative thinking to. scheming and managing your resources is the game.

and this means if a player has a clever idea, you should almost never reward them with a die roll to see if they succeed. a skill check is just a random chance of failure. instead most actions should succeed or fail automatically.

here's a good checklist to determine whether something succeeds:

is it something a normal, untrained person could do? if yes, you succeed.

could a normal person do it with the right tools, training and/or time to work? if yes, you succeed if you have any of those things.

if you don't have any of those, you can't. find another approach or get ahold of those conditions for success.

die rolls are for resolving uncertainty and risk. picture a version of 5e where there are no ability checks, only saving throws - dice you roll when something's gone wrong and you're in danger.

which leads into the next point...

communicating information

one of the worst sins of roll-based task resolution is when it's used to determine perception. players making informed decisions is the heart of the game, and they can't do that without information.

give information freely. if your character could know it, they probably do. try to do this too much. never gate information behind a die roll, especially the PC's surroundings.

part of this is always informing the player what is at stake. if a player's in a dangerous enough situation that success comes down to a die roll, you must let them know that before they opt into making that roll, and what the consequences for failure are.

OSR games are about risk management, so tell your players what is at risk when they make those decisions.

entering combat

combat is one of the most dangerous things in an OSR game - it's unpredictable, lethal, and entering it is always a big decision.

if you're coming from a game like 5e, often your first instinct when an encounter occurs is, "roll initiative!" but this is a mistake. you always, even when combat is about to start, ask players for their approach. do they fight? flee? negotiate? surrender?

because combat is so risky, forcing players into it unprompted fundamentally changes the dynamic of your campaign. keep in mind, once combat starts, you don't get any input between rolling initiative and taking your turn. your fate is up to the dice - your tactics matter, sure, but they can't save you from losing initiative, being crit, and dying from bad luck.

if players willingly choose combat as their approach, they should know the risks and what they're getting into. sometimes combat is the best way to achieve your goals, so it'll still happen.

[dangermousie]

I saw a post where you analyzed some details in Flower of Evil (particularly the relationship between the lead couple) and your analysis was super interesting.

I dropped that drama ages ago somewhere in the second episode because it just felt like things had already gone so horribly wrong that there was no possible way that it could be brought back to a story that I'd enjoy. I was wondering if you might be able to explain how that isn't the case so I should give it another chance, ideally without spoiling anything too huge? Or do you think my first instinct was right? If I couldn't stomach the first two episodes it probably just isn't the drama for me? My original interest in watching it was for the romance more than anything else.

I would love to analyze (always game for FoE freakouts) and address the issue but I think I could do it better if you clarified a little what you mean by "it just felt like things had already gone so horribly wrong that there was no possible way that it could be brought back to a story that I'd enjoy."

Is it a worry that there would be no happy ending (and one that feels earned/logical not tacked on) for the couple and/or ML (or FL), or that the progression of the relationship would not be anything you like or not given sufficient importance? Or something else?

If it's the former, while I can't say whether you'd like it or not because it's very hard to predict what clicks and doesn't for another person (I have like two mutuals where I automatically know if they like X, I am guaranteed to do so) but I can answer that:

(a) This drama has a happy ending that felt right and justified and not tacked on for me - in terms of both characters individually and the ship. They both go through hell but emerge into sunshine on the other side; by the end of it, Hyun Soo knows exactly how much he's both known and loved by Ji Won (and it's huge for a man who believed on a deep level nobody could possibly love someone like him nor should they) but also he's accepted that he himself is not a monster but is capable of love. And Ji Won loves her husband as much as she did at the start and has proven exactly how much and this time it's based on true knowledge of all of him - because before that she loved him for what he was (his characteristics were all true even if his background was not) but now she knows exactly the traumas and events that shaped him and the issues that haunted him and...she still sees the slightly odd, quite introverted, very caring man she fell in love with. It's a process, she thinks things through and it takes her time to get there, it is not linear but it is so thorough and glorious. She basically goes with her whole behavior: I see you fully and I know you fully and because of that sight and knowledge I love you MORE. And he processes that but also, in an even huger emotional shift, he realizes that he loves HER, that he's always loved her, he just had no vocabulary for it and no ability to process that this is what he felt due to all the trauma and gaslighting and what not.

(b) This is a romance drama. Oh, it has a good plot with its share of mysteries and mini-mysteries, and it's a great character study and has a lot of other interesting things to say. But ultimately, it's a romance. It is centered not really on the mystery of who Do Hyun Soo actually is, or who was/is committing various murders, or when Ji Won would figure stuff out or w/e - it focuses on a relationship between husband and wife who desperately love one another. This drama had an INSANE fixation with shots of their wedding rings and it was for a reason because this is the story of their marriage more than it is anything else.

It actually features a trope that is very much my catnip and narratives (outside of Gong Xinwen novels) don't do often enough - where the woman is the rescuer and the white knight and the savior and the man is this beautiful, oddly fragile (despite being competent and potentially deadly) being in need of rescue. And I don't mean just in the metaphorical sense - she is the reason DHS still has his sanity and found happiness and healing - nah she rescues him in the most physical way possible, from drowning, from various other acts of harm. In a way, Ji Won and Hyun Soo are a noir couple with genders reversed - a tough pragmatic detective and an alluring romantic partner with a mysterious past and ambiguous in terms of morality vibe, a homme fatale. But who (which also happens in some noir), turns out an abused, gaslit person who needs saving and who has honestly is owed by the world for all the hell it put him through.

Once again, I can't say if you'd like the drama - but the above is why I love love love love LOVE it and thank you for letting me have a chance to rant.

[smokestarrules]

Why Caleb & Evelyn’s Absence is Good Writing

So if you don’t know me, I’m a big fan of Caleb and Evelyn (Clawthorne. Because I’m sure). I’m fascinated with their story -- I wrote an entire fic about them in 2022 before we even knew Evelyn’s name -- and I find them both incredibly interesting considering what is both shown about them and not. Despite that, I had a feeling that neither of them would make an appearance in Watching and Dreaming, and I was right. 

Understandably so, some people were disappointed with that decision, that they were hoping for an entire flashback scene or something close to it. But while that also appeals to me -- oh my god does it appeal to me -- I also really enjoy the intangibility of it all. 

So, I have three reasons as to why I like that Caleb and Evelyn didn’t show up again, which I’ll go through in no particular order. The rest of this post will be under a cut because it’ll probably get pretty lengthy. 

1) Haunting The Narrative

Half of Caleb and Evelyn’s intrigue comes from the fact that in the end, we really  don’t know all that much about them. Everything that we do know is from second-hand accounts at best and the rest of their story is up to your own singular interpretation; we only know the bare bones of their tale, but at the same time, they’re both extremely monumental to the main plot of the show. 

They’re hardly ever shown centered on-screen (in Evelyn’s case, never), and again, despite their huge impact on the characters and world even 400 years later, it’s part of their charm that... they’re mysterious. You’re not meant to know much about them, not meant to perceive them as normal characters. Caleb never speaks in the show, Evelyn hardly even appears, and in the end, they’re not meant to be understood. 

Caleb seems to have undergone some semblance of a redemption, but that’s only alluded to considering how he ends up dead; the implied is everything, and getting a concrete answer would, in my opinion, ruin part of what makes this story so fascinating. 

Of course, the biggest argument I’ve seen against this idea is that casual viewers of the show, the ones who don’t care about combing the background of Hollow Mind for lore about Emperor Belos’ big brother, will be confused without the lack of context. And... I disagree. 

Sure, maybe some people haven’t seen the portraits from Hollow Mind, but they’ve certainly seen Caleb when Gus went through Philip’s mind in King’s Tide. Maybe they missed the book about Grimwalkers in Labyrinth Runners, but they definitely caught Caleb in Philip’s diary during Elsewhere and Elsewhen. Then, in Thanks to Them, there’s an entire scene in which Masha very kindly gives an entire summary on the topic, tipping off both the main characters and anyone else in the audience who may be confused. 

The story’s all there, both in the background and in the forefront of the show, and it’s weaved in so beautifully that it’s hard for me to believe that anyone would see Caleb in For the Future (of which is a scene I will be talking about soon) and have absolutely no idea who he is. 

So in the end, I think having a more clear understanding of the going-ons that set everything into motion would be almost doing a disservice to the fans who have spent their time piecing things together and it’s also not really necessary in the first place. It’d be nice, and I’m sure I would have gone even more insane with more to analyze, but with the way this show has always portrayed Caleb and Evelyn, them fading into obscurity in the final episode just seems... fitting. 

2) Philip Doesn’t Really Deserve Closure

It’s a simple fact: Philip Wittebane is kind of a fucked-up guy. 

Besides a flashback scene, another idea for a potential Caleb and Evelyn appearance that I saw tossed around most was this: it’s the end, Philip’s about to be defeated, and in the interim, he sees his brother one last time. 

Either he’s given forgiveness or not, Caleb being present at his lowest moment would undoubtedly mean something to Philip; over the centuries he’s spent a significant amount of time trying to remake his brother -- to make him better -- and no matter how you feel about him, Philip is a tortured soul. Perhaps Caleb could help him accept his inevitable death, perhaps he could have one last chance for Philip to have a moment of genuine vulnerability. 

He’d die with the ghost of his brother and the ghost of his brother’s wife looking over him, and he’d die content... maybe. 

Or you can go the other route: 

On the other hand, maybe Philip goes to his death kicking and screaming the whole way, with Caleb and Evelyn staring him down as he’s ultimately annihilated for good. The tale of two brothers is over, and while Caleb is the one who perished first, centuries ago now, it’s Philip who is undoubtedly the one who loses in the end. 

The last thing Philip sees is his brother’s hateful, tired face, and he dies with that image. 

Of course, that’s the one that sounds better to me; Philip is not a villain you could ever redeem (a cruel upbringing will not excuse everything) and to even make an attempt at it would feel cheap and be completely unaligned with ToH’s core values, which actively (and correctly) condemn people like him. 

The problem with both of these ideas, different as they are, is that both of them give Philip a sense of closure that he simply does not deserve to have been rewarded with. Either way, he knows for sure how his brother would feel about him -- or, at the very least, how he believes his brother should feel about him -- and it’s just that, the knowing, that rubs me the wrong way. 

In the end, the last time Philip sees his brother is in this scene in For the Future, and it’s safe to say that there’s no actual closure or anything close to it here. Whether or not you believe this is actually Caleb or just Philip hallucinating him (personally I subscribe to the latter), it doesn’t really matter because the idea stays the same. 

Philip spends this scene snarling curses at his unyielding brother -- who seems to be, notably, his younger self, given his hair length -- while also actively melting away in front of his eyes. Philip is the one who’s alive, Philip is the one who (he believes) is on the right side of history, and yet Philip is also the one on his knees, his entire body disintegrating slowly due to his own choices. 

As the episode continues, it’s shown that Philip is seeing Caleb and the other Grimwalkers that he’s likely killed as well, and they’re clearly more of a taunt to his already-collapsing mental state than anything else. Again I reassert my opinion that they’re not actually there, that they’re simply Philip hallucinating in one of his weakest moments yet, and because of that, there is no answer given. 

They stare; he tells them to “Shut up” and they don’t react in the slightest. They watch and they stare and they dare him to care about them in any way and the entire scene is just... a precipice. Eventually they disappear for good, and Philip moves on without even trying to process this phenomenon. 

Basically what I'm saying is that Caleb appearing in Philip’s last moments would give him too much credit. And that actually leads us right into the final point I want to make, which is this: 

3) Caleb Wasn’t Actually That Important To Philip 

In the long run, at the very least. 

Now hear me out. When I say ‘important’, I don’t mean that what happened with Caleb didn’t have long-lasting effects on Philip, because that’s simply not true; otherwise, my entire last point would be meaningless. Obviously, it’s Caleb (and to a lesser extent, Evelyn) who can be credited with initially setting Philip down this path; Caleb was probably the most stable thing in Philip’s early life, and losing him in a way that felt like abandonment -- and then killing him -- is undoubtedly something that would stick with you for a lifetime, 400 years or not. 

But Caleb’s death is also largely an excuse. 

Much in the same way that “saving humanity” is an excuse for Philip to commit the atrocities he does, Caleb’s betrayal pushing him towards that path and his subsequent attempts at bringing him back are also an excuse. 

Here’s the thing: if Philip was genuinely passionate about remaking his brother -- but better -- then he’d care about the Grimwalkers more than he does. If Philip actually considered every Grimwalker a potential Caleb that he could just fix, then he would not have been able to dispose of them so coldly. There’s dozens of their corpses piled under the Skull, yet he only even commits to memory a rare few. Even Hunter, the closest to Caleb a Grimwalker’s ever gotten, was given a Sigil! A Sigil, which tells me that no matter what, no matter how perfect Hunter may have turned out, Philip was never going to let him survive the Day of Unity. 

True, there’s definitely a part of Philip that hates the Grimwalkers because they can’t be Caleb, at least not in the way he thinks he needs (which is impossible, but I digress) there’s also a part that I think is just... carrying on because this is what he’s done for the past few centuries. It’d feel like giving up on himself to give up on the prospect of having Caleb beside him again, but there’s no passion anymore. 

In the end, I think Papa Titan said it best:

“...That man doesn’t care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion.” 

That’s exactly it. Philip believes himself as the hero of the story, as someone who’s been suffering for centuries but will one day finally get the ending that he deserves. He goes through all of this not because he wants to go home and not because he wishes he could return to the life he and his brother once had, but because he so desperately wants to believe in the delusion that he is a person doing all the things he does for good. 

You don’t live for over 400 years working towards a singular moment without at least having the thought that maybe what you’re doing is incorrect. But Philip has never let those supposed doubts stop him, and by the time the series is ending, nothing matters except his goal -- to see the destruction of every last witch and demon on the Boiling Isles.  

Which is why, in this final scene of his, there’s not a single mention of his brother. His brother, who he’s spent the last 400 years trying to save; his brother, who, by learning to be better, essentially kickstarted Philip’s entire goal, but it became so twisted so quickly as Philip subconsciously decided that he was the only one who could ever fix things. 

To put it simply: Philip’s only ever been concerned with himself. His idea of morality, his vision of the Boiling Isles, his opinions on the witches that live there. Nothing else matters; Caleb is a crutch to fall back on and so is the idea that Philip’s saving anyone, it’s all just more vindication to feed into his hero complex, because he’s the only one that really matters. He’s human and Luz is human and so they’re redeemable, but he stopped seeing Caleb as human the moment he saw him with Evelyn. 

In the end, I feel as if it’s almost safe to say that Caleb and Evelyn as constructs are more important to the all-encompassing plot than they are to Philip specifically; they set him on his path, sure, but his descent into madness almost feels inevitable, death of his brother or not. He blames his own misfortune on them, and the fact that they're never quite seen makes Philip’s villainous qualities that much more emphasized, I think. 

Overall, I loved Watching and Dreaming and I loved ToH and I think the characters of Caleb and Evelyn are some of the most haunting I’ve ever encountered, literally and metaphorically. 

Their story is largely up in the air, but it still gets told, you just have to look for it. That's their charm, that’s why they’re interesting to me, and that’s why I am content with getting the amount we got of them.